for parents caught in the middle of raising a teen & young adult
March/April 2015
Brooke burkeCharvet
a stay at a
Triumph hotel NYC!
Juggling family, fitness & fame in style heavy issue talking to your teen about their weight
FITNESS SPECIAL!
mODERN MOM Rebecca Eckler: making a blended family work
3 ways to boost YOUR Harley Pasternak’s CHILD’S SELFmovie star moves ESTEEM get fit gadgets, workout clothes... and more! 1
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inbetween MARCH/APRIL 2015
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INSIGHT 7 10 minutes with... Rick Campanelli 10 MODERN FAMILY Starting a new
10 minutes with RicK CAMPaNELLI
chapter: The Greenspoon-Eckler Family 14 RAISING DAD Five things you should
know before you go RVing
INFORM 17 Health & LIFE NEWS
24
19 ASK THE EXPERT Kimberly Moffit
tackles self-absorbed teens
20 SELF-ESTEEM Three ways to boost
your teen’s self-esteem
Teen Acne
24 More than just zits Expert tips
on how to help treat your teen’s acne
30 A CUTTING ISSUE Teens and
self-harm: What to know
34 A HEAVY TOPIC Tips on talking
to your teen about weight gain
38 SAVVY SAVING STRATEGIES
How to make your money work for you and pay for those hefty tuition bills
INSPIRE
family trip: VEGAS
54
41 slim and sculpt for spring
Harley Pasternak’s celebrity tips 50 QUICK ON HER TOES Brooke Burke
-Charvet juggles family, fitness & fame
54 SINLESS CITY Las Vegas is actually a
wonderful family-friendly destination
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GO RVing!
INDULGE 59 EASTER MADE EASY Chef Lynn
Crawford’s perfect springtime soirée
62 Travel: NEW YORK A springtime
couples’ getaway destination
66 Spring makeup Lighten up with
pretty pastels
Art Director Caroline Bishop Contributing Editor
Jacqueline Kovacs Design assistant
Rebecca Lasagna FASHION EDITOR
Jordana Handler Website Manager
Victor Chard Editorial/Social Media Intern
Erin Hesselink
ONTRIBUTOR
Editor-In-Chief Rachel Naud
Kimberly moffit
Kimberly Moffit is one of Canada’s most experienced relationship experts and provides practical advice about parenting and psychological topics. Kimberly also makes regular TV appearances on shows including CTV’s Canada AM, CBC’s The National, City TV News and Global TV’s Morning Show, to name a few. On page 19, she tackles the topic of self-absorbed teens.
Director business development
Graham Farkas E-Publishing
Issuu Digital Publishing Services Contributors
Peter Carter, Lynn Crawford, Ryan Francoz, Jordana Handler, Erin Hesselink, Lara Hyde, Romana King, Jacqueline Kovacs, Kimberly Moffit, Harley Pasternak, Caleigh Rykiss, Janet Sangalang, Lisa Thornbury. Copyright 2015 inBetween Magazine. All rights reserved. All images, unless otherwise noted, are iStock.
No part of this magazine may be reproduced without the written permission of the publisher. The publisher accepts no responsibility for advertisers’ claims, unsolicited manuscripts, transparencies or other materials.
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For any questions, submissions or comments, please contact info@inbetween.ca inbetween
Caleigh Rykiss
Romana King
Romana King is passionate about real estate, personal finance and her family (not necessarily in that order). She writes for MoneySense magazine and blogs about real estate issues. Follow her at facebook.com/RKHomeOwner. In this issue, she writes about the best way to save for your child’s education on page 38.
Caleigh Rykiss is a TV producer and fitness writer by day, a competitive boxer and certified personal trainer by night, and a full-time positive body image crusader! Whether it’s confidence in the gym, in the bedroom, or simply in their skin, she is committed to helping women find their strength, inside and out. On page 20, she tells you how to arm your teen with self-esteem.
from Rachel
Communication
Editor portrait by Agnes wywrot
is Key
It’s almost like you have to learn how to speak teen.” Cover girl, Brooke Burke-Charvet, couldn’t be more right: When it comes to raising teens, bridging the gap between parent and teen often boils down to communication. For Burke-Charvet, this means a no-tech rule in the car or at the dinner table, as well as special one-on-one time cooking or working out. For more advice on how this modern mom tackles the teen years, flip to page 50. Communicating with your teens can be particularly hard when it comes to sensitive (but crucial) issues. Erin Hesselink sat down with a self-harming teen and talked to her about how she survived the mental illness that hospitalizes one in four youth. Read about this serious and too-common issue on page 30. Another tricky teen topic? Their weight. Contributor Jordana Handler chatted with experts on how to broach that conversation and offers up some fun ways to get fit with your teen on page 34. Need more motivation? Celeb fitness trainer Harley Pasternak gives us his best movie star moves (page 41) that’ll slim and sculpt you just in time for spring. Another eye-opener? The cost of tuition. But don’t panic: See page 38 for savvy saving strategies for your child’s college or university tuition
that’ll put them on the right post-secondary path, while keeping your bank account in check. Finally, if you’re looking to get away—with or without the kids—we’ve got some great destinations: Las Vegas and New York City! We’re also giving away a two-night stay in NYC, so don’t miss out on your chance to win. I hope you enjoy this issue. Whether you like us on Facebook, follow us on Twitter or want to email me at rachel@inbetween.ca, I’d love to hear from you about what you liked, didn’t like and anything INBETWEEN. ■
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insight 10 MINUTES WITH...
RICK CAMpanelli From “Rick the Temp” at MuchMusic to ET Canada anchor, Rick Campanelli chats about his biggest job—being a dad. by lisa thornbury
Photo courtesy of et canada/shaw media
From musical beats to celebrity buzz, Campanelli parlayed his DJ success into an anchor gig with ET Canada, which he has held for 10 years. In addition to his success, he’s also looking forward to reaching another pivotal milestone: He’s about to venture into the teen years with his son, Noah. Q. What do your kids think of your TV status? Have they ever asked you to introduce them to a favourite celebrity? A. Jack, my youngest son, is only one, so clearly he has no idea what I do. Noah, who’s 11, thinks my job is pretty cool but he’s never asked to meet anyone in particular. Yet. There are a few YTV actors he’d love to meet though. I took Noah to meet The New Kids on the Block a few years ago. Once he realized what a big deal they were (my wife and I described them as the Beatles of our generation), inbetween
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10 Minutes With
Q. What was your favourite celeb interview and why? A. As for actors, when we do our junkets we only get four minutes with them, which isn’t much time to generate an opinion. But, George Clooney stood out immediately as really down to earth—genuine, no attitude, respectful and funny—just an all around good guy. Q. Social media plays a big part in the entertainment industry. And, in the age of online over-
sharing, cyber bulling, etc. what is your opinion of kids participating in social media? A. Kids are so tech-savvy, it’s crazy. For me, personally, things are moving too fast, but for them, it’s the age we live in. Noah isn’t yet participating online in any way. But when he’s ready, we’ll sit him down and explain the rules of engagement. In the meantime, we’re teaching him to be polite and kind and to make smart choices in real life, which is essentially laying the groundwork for how we hope he’ll conduct himself online. Q. What scares you most about the teen years?
Rick and his son, Noah
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A. What I’m most afraid of is what I’m also most looking forward to—his independence. I’m going to miss him when he’s out with friends and pursuing new interests, but, at the same time, I can’t wait to see how it all unfolds for him. And then there’s the idea of him getting his driver’s licence. I don’t know when I’ll ever be ready for that. Q. You’ve worked closely with World Vision Canada and have been called a “vibrant voice for change.” How will you encourage Noah to share his voice as he ventures into his teen years? A. Noah hasn’t been on any of the trips with me yet, but he’ll come along at some point. He gets it though. He understands about giving back and about helping out. He’s shaping up to be a strong, caring person who wants to make a difference. Yes, I’m a proud dad. Can you tell? Q. What’s one wish you have for your boys for the future? A. I just want them both to grow up to be decent humans. It’s a pretty simple wish. But if they treat others the way they themselves ultimately want to be treated, with respect and decency, then I’ll know we’ve done our job as parents. ■
Photo COURTESY OF rick campanelli
he was amply impressed. I scored a few “cool dad” points that day, for sure.
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NEW COLUMN!
Modern Family
MODERN FAMILY
STARTING A
NEW CHAPTER Jordan Greenspoon, 43, Rebecca Eckler, 41, Jenna, 15, Tegan, 13, Rowan, 11, Holt, 2.
Writer Rebecca Eckler’s blended family makes for more than just a great story. She chats with INBETWEEN about the realities of being blended and how she makes it work with teens, a toddler and a dog named Toby. by rachel naud • photography by ryan francoz
W
hen writer/journalist Rebecca Eckler met Jordan Greenspoon, she had one daughter, Rowan. Jordan, who is a CEO of a software company, had two daughters from his previous marriage, Jenna and Tegan. Four-anda-half years, one engagement and one baby boy (Holt) later, they all blend into one happy, hectic and hilarious home.
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LUMN!
Modern Family
On juggling the blended custody schedule I have Rowan all of the time. Her father lives in Calgary, and he comes in as often as he can to visit her as well as on school breaks. We basically have Tegan and Jenna 50 per cent of the time. On juggling everyone’s activities Scheduling is a big challenge. Tegan and Jenna live and go to school in Newmarket, so Jordan is in the car a lot because we live in Toronto. All of the children are into different activities, so we’re always parting ways. For example, on Thursday evenings, Jenna has soccer, Rowan has swim practice and Tegan has art classes. Even Holt has a very active schedule. He goes to pre-school three times a week and has many playdates. We always seem to need “backup” to help out, whether it’s our nanny or our in-laws, because schedules change and it can be mayhem trying to sort it out.
Jenna shopping and talk to her like a friend if she’s having boy troubles. And if I’m alone with Tegan, we’ll do something spontaneous. A while back, we saw a movie starring Channing Tatum, and now that’s ‘our thing.’ Jordan, even when his girls aren’t with us, will still make dinner for Rowan, or drive Rowan to school or her activities. But Holt really saves the day! The girls LOVE him and LOVE hanging out with him, and I think he’s really the one who keeps us close, because he makes us laugh so hard. On adjusting to blended life A blended family is a hard adjustment for anyone. Everyone’s lives changed when we blended. Jordan’s girls have a new part-time house and a new woman in their lives (me). Rowan is no longer an only child and has a baby brother along with two sisters, and a new man in her life/house. Sometimes there is jealousy, on all fronts.
On the bonuses of being blended I do call them “bonus children,” because they are a On dealing with conflict bonus! And since Jordan and I had Holt together, it and staying close has brought us closer as a family. I actually love the It’s a slippery slope when any of us feel slighted. And, I think, at one point, we have all felt slighted by mayhem that comes along with it, though it took some getting used to. When I hear all of them getting someone in our family. Jenna and Tegan know who along and laughing, I almost want to cry. It’s so nice their parent is, and if they have a problem with me or Rowan, they will complain to their father, who will to see and hear! I used to love a spotless house and tell me what they are upset about. Rowan comes to now, meh, there are so many of us, it’s impossible to keep the house organized. And, though I’m not me if she feels slighted by any of them, and then I’ll have to calm her down. Then Jordan and I will some- their biological mother, and I have never professed to be or tried to take their mom’s place (they have times get into it because, when it comes to certain issues, we do have different parenting styles. It’s not a good mother!), it feels more like I’m living with fun roommates. Tegan will do my hair. Jenna will do my always easy being in a blended family. makeup. And both of them will give Rowan advice However, I have special things I do with Jordan’s on friendships or other things. daughters, one on one. For example, I will take
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“when i hear all of them getting along and laughing, i almost want to cry. it’s so nice to see and hear!” On raising teens and a toddler at the same time To tell you the truth, it’s tricky, to say the least, especially when one of the girls has to be somewhere, and another has to be somewhere else, and the other one has to be somewhere else. However, they are so helpful with Holt. They spend a lot of time with him and sometimes I wonder if Holt even knows that I’m his mother, because he has three other females to watch him and play with him and even change his diapers!
On solving conflicts with teens This is tricky, to tell you the truth. I don’t feel comfortable getting involved with his teens. And Jordan is a firm believer that they (including Rowan) can work it out themselves. I don’t necessarily always like the way Jordan parents his teens, but, again, it’s not really my place to say anything. For the most part, we all do get along really well. (Knock on wood.) There have been issues, of course, but they get worked out. Eventually, there are apologies and everything is forgotten.
On activities to do together The girls love baking together, coming up with dances or making movies. We have game nights and movie nights. But I do think the best activity is actually dinner time, when we’re all together. We eat, but we also laugh and tell each other stories. It’s fun. And we also go on vacations together, which is always a great time.
Advice for other blended families Remember that we were teens once and what we did when we were teens. That doesn’t mean we don’t have rules, but we’re a very close family and have open conversations. The best you can hope for is that everyone gets along and is respectful of each other when we’re together. ■ inbetween
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5RVING
things you should knoW BEFORE GOIN (The first is, you should go RVing.)
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NEW COLUMN!
W NG
G by peter carter
Peter has four brothers, four sisters, one wife, two daughters and a son, the last three of which all recently graduated from teenagehood with all their limbs and sanity intact. According to Carter: “If you can’t use your family as a petri dish for life, what else you gonna do with ’em?”
As
my older, slightly twisted brother Ed says, “Once is research, twice is perversion.” That’s sort of how I felt a few years ago when my buddy Howard—the editor of a magazine for recreational vehicle enthusiasts, or “RVers” as they’re called—asked if I’d like to take the family on an RV vacation and write about it. Before that, I would have never thought of myself as an RVer. RVs were for rich, retired land-yachters who drove 60 km/h with their signal light on. But embracing Ed’s philosophy of trying everything once, I bit. And got hooked. Rock stars love RVs and after two weeks in one with our family, I can see why. We went from our home in downtown Toronto to Grand Manan Island in New Brunswick and back, and I don’t recall a single, “Are we there yet?” or a “Stop the car, I have to GO now!” I don’t remember any fights; and the only near mishap was once after we stopped for some roadside fries, I got back behind the wheel and
Raising Dad
travelled maybe two miles down the highway before realizing that my wife, Helena, was missing. I had assumed she was asleep in the bedroom out back; I had left her at the chip stand. Other than that? I recommend you go RVing at least once during the time your kids still travel with you. They’ll love you for it. Ours still call the Grand Manan voyage the best trip we ever took. Only thing is, in retrospect, I regret not having read an article like this before we left. Because there’s some stuff it would pay to know in advance. Such as:
#1. In most jurisdictions, your
regular car licence lets you pilot an RV, but if you do rent an RV, don’t let the first day you have it be the first day of your trip. Give yourself a minimum of two hours of solo practice time, preferably under a variety of driving conditions. While RVs are very easy to manoeuvre once you’re comfy, learning is not something you want to do with an audience—on the TransCanada Highway, in the dark, with what you can only inbetween
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Raising Dad
“the rental, fuel and food prices might seem high, but our RV trip still goes down in history as the best family vacation we ever took.” imagine is a very supportive and positively reinforcing family of teenagers and a spouse to help. You know sarcasm when you read it.
The Long, Long Trailer starring Lucille Ball, and Desi Arnez.
#4. Approach logistics as if #5. Budget with unprecedent-
you were an invading army. We rented an RV in Bolton, a few No doubt you’ve been miles north of Toronto. The trapped behind RVers towing day of our departure, I drove little cars. No doubt you’ve the family Mazda to fetch the thought,“How lazy and selfish rig then back home to load it can one person be? Do they for our trip. The plan: After the really need all those wheels?” trip, return the RV to the rentI’m here to tell you they do. We al joint, transfer the supplies did not tow anything. We overto the Mazda and drive home. nighted in parking lots, provincial Except…travellers accumulate parks and farmers’ fields. And important things, like rocks. every once in a while, after we’d And shells. And lobster traps. set up our RV for the evening, (You never know when they’re we’d realize we had to run an going to come in handy.) As errand, or wanted to go see a we trekked, our RV got heavishow or museum. Because we er and heavier, and fuller and didn’t have alternative wheels, fuller. As chief logistician, I we basically had to pack up an started worrying about the entire house — lock down the situation. I literally had a few groceries, store the dishes and nightmares about how we were clothes and — the worst — disgoing to get all the junk home. connect the sewer system — to Would it fit in the Mazda? At go buy milk. Take with you, at the one point, I dreamt we packed very least, bikes. each rock and shell up individually and mailed it, piece by Watch the old movie piece, via Canada Post. (Not a
#2.
#3.
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bad idea, eh?) Just plan better than we did.
ed rigour. And by that, I don’t mean short-term budgeting, like figuring out how much this trip is going to cost. RV renting is not cheap. We reckon our trip—because we stayed in parks and had to fuel the thing—cost as much as travelling by car and staying in a pretty decent hotel every night. What I’m advising is creating a big-picture budget. Shared memories and time together are the most valuable commodities families have. The rental, fuel and food prices might seem high, but our RV trip still goes down in history as the best family vacation we ever took. You won’t get opportunities to travel like this with your teens very often. While Helena and I are extremely cost-conscious travellers, we look back at that single RV adventure and remember it as two hilarious fight-free weeks with our young family. Priceless. ■
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What you need to know for your today and their tomorrow ▲▼ ▲▼ ▲▼ ▲▼ ▲▼ ▲▼ ▲▼ ▲▼ ▲▼ ▲▼ ▲▼ ▲▼ ▲▼ ▲▼ ▲▼ ▲▼ ▲▼ ▲▼▲▼ ▲▼ ▲▼ ▲▼ ▲▼ ▲▼▲▼ ▲▼▲▼▲
FRIES WITH THAT? Teens who work part-time jobs prepare the way for a brighter future, according to a study done by University of British Columbia’s Sauder School of Business. The study showed that teens who work during the school year learn to manage time more effectively, develop better networks and actually earn more money than their peers when they reach their 20s. They also got to know what they liked and what they didn’t like and ended up with a better sense of what kind of career they would want in the future.
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Briefs
SCREEN TIME STEALS SLEEP Texting, surfing the web, playing video games, watching TV… all that screen time adds up.
And, according to a new study done by the Regional Centre for Child and Youth Mental Health and Child Welfare in Norway, daytime screen use of more than four hours can lead to a 49 per cent higher risk of taking over an hour to fall asleep. Teens that used electronics excessively were also 3.5 times more likely to get less than five hours of sleep. The researchers came up with a few explanations, suggesting the teens just might not have time for sleep while using so many devices, or that the light from the screens could disrupt the body’s internal clock.
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A SNAPSHOT INTO YOUR TEEN’S FEELINGS
The duck face, the mirror shot, the closeup… teens are going to take selfies. But did you know that selfies are a big part of self-exploration and expression for teens? That’s right, selfies can actually help a teen develop, according to Dr. Andrea Letamendi, a clinical psychologist and researcher at UCLA. Dr. Letamendi says selfies have become a powerful tool to boost teens’ confidence and body image. In fact, therapists have started to look at teens’ selfies to create a dialogue about why the photo was taken and what the teen was feeling at the time.
Pennies from your parents Whether you’re counting pennies or spending every last paycheque, it all comes down to your genetics.
A new study published in the Journal of Political Economy suggests that individuals are born with a genetic predisposition to their savings behaviours. While parents can influence their teens’ spending habits, the researchers found that these lessons will “decay significantly” as the individual gets older and they’ll stay true to their genes. This can also tie into how much risk one is willing to take on the stock market.
Expert Advice
ASK THE EXPERT with Kimberly Moffit
Q. I love my daughter but I feel like she can be so
self-absorbed at times. I want to teach her the value of gratitude and helping others but I don’t know if I can actually make her volunteer. Or can I?
Kimberly Moffit is one of Canada’s most experienced relationship experts and provides practical advice about parenting and psychological topics. She’s a regular speaker for Queen’s University’s MBA and Women in Leadership Programs, and a frequent lecturer at the University of Waterloo. Kimberly also makes regular TV appearances on shows including CTV’s Canada AM, CBC’s The National, City TV News and Global TV’s Morning Show, to name a few.
It’s very natural for teens to be self-absorbed. The brain of an adolescent is still changing, but there are also so many social challenges making it hard for teens to see outside of their own social bubble. Volunteering is a wonderful way to help teens gain insight into the world around them and gain a level of appreciation for what they have (and thus, more appreciation for you, their amazing parent!). Many teens are required to volunteer as part of their high school requirements, but going above and beyond this standard can help your teen learn about the world, what ‘hard work’ means, foster friendships and gain valuable experience. Volunteering doesn’t just have to be at your local food bank or soup kitchen (although these are great causes), it can be for their student council,
a local non-profit musical theatre group, the humane society or the local television station. Finding a volunteer activity that piques your teen’s interest is essential to making it a lasting activity where they can truly help others. If you’re having a hard time, the best way to encourage your teen to volunteer is to go with them! Volunteering together is an opportunity to spend time together, share experiences, and gain a sense of gratitude. Plus, showing your teen that you’re willing to get your hands dirty and help is a great way to be a positive role model for them. Try joining up with a local food drive, a community choir, or a clothing bank. You can also be creative: Making sandwiches or gift baskets together to give to people in need can be a wonderful bonding activity. ■ inbetween
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SelfEsteem
3
WAYS
to boost YOur Teen’s
SELF-ESTEEM Today’s role models leave a lot to be desired. That’s why it’s more important than ever to create an environment that encourages self-respect and self-love. Here’s how to foster a healthy self-image in your teen. Hint: It starts with you. by caleigh rykiss
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sk any grown woman if they would like to re-live their high school experience and you’ll likely hear: “Oh, hell no!” At the best of times, the teen years are laden with insecurity, acne and angst, not to mention awkward body changes, awful bullying and impossible popularity contests. (I’m starting to sweat just thinking about it.) Not quite the recipe for flourishing selfesteem, to say the least. But, as hard as it was for our generation and the generations before us to build a strong foundation of confidence, nothing compares to the insurmountable pressures that exist today—thanks, of course, to the constant access to technology. With unrelenting exposure to “role models” like the tongueflogging Miley Cyrus, having the World Wide Web at their fingertips creates an incredibly superficial environment for young girls, desensitizing them to sex and perpetuating an unrealistic body image. Not only that, but the 24-hour access to social media takes away all privacy and protection
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in the home from schoolyard politics. Between mean-spirited messages, photos of exclusive parties and over-sexualized selfies, social media can be a landmine for the immense social pressures that exist in school, especially when it comes to weight and appearance. “Youth fall victim to social comparison and feel pressured to conform to the social ideals of their peer group,” says Toronto-based nutritionist and weight loss expert, Adele Tevlin. But, not all is lost. A lot can be done at home to help create an environment that encourages self-respect and self-love. Parental influence is more important than ever to help drown out all the unhealthy voices online and amplify sentiments of acceptance. Check Your Own Issues at the Door Ever notice your daughter is turning into a mini you? Maybe she takes her tea the same way as you or bites her lip when she’s upset, just like you. For much of your children’s lives, you are their most impactful influence. This means, like it or
not, they will often adopt a lot of your behaviours, good and bad, especially when it comes to body image. “Kids model their parents’ behaviour,” says Tevlin, “so make your behaviour worth modelling.” Make an effort to convey the idea that you love and accept your own body by eliminating words like “fat” and “diet” from your vocabulary. It’s also important to highlight the things that you love (or sometimes secretly don’t love) about yourself and why. For example, you could make a point of praising your strong legs because they help you chase after the dog and run up the stairs. Kyla Fox, eating disorder expert and founder of The Kyla Fox Centre in Toronto agrees, “Embrace your own flaws so as to diminish the illusion that perfection exists.” This means even though youth are inundated with unrealistic bodies in the media, they’re getting the message at home that real women like you don’t look like that and it’s OK. Encourage Healthy Habits It’s also important to walk the walk when it comes to
SelfEsteem
a lot can be done at home to help create an environment that encourages self-respect and self-love. eating and activity levels. Line your cupboards with healthy choices, opting for whole fresh foods as opposed to highly processed, pre-packaged products. Likewise, emphasize the importance of eating for wellness and energy instead of weight-related issues. Indeed, Tevlin agrees, “adopt healthy eating habits at home where food is used to nourish the body and avoid talking about diets and fads.” A fun way to get kids interested and educated in the importance of proper nutrition is to involve them in the process. Carve out time to go shopping as a family where you can browse, read and discuss the food labels together. Another essential element is encouraging physical activity. According to Fox, exercise is a major piece of the selfconfidence puzzle. She says, “Fun physical activity allows for confidence-building, selfacceptance and time away from the screen.” Encourage extra-
curricular school activities, or better yet, get the whole family involved in the action. Find a fun bonding activity to do together; think wall climbing, skating, skiing or simply resolving to take the dog for walks together after dinner every evening. Every little bit of exercise counts, plus it adds major bonding time into the mix. Win-win! Communication The final component of creating a confident and healthy environment at home is communication. Tevlin explains, “Parents’ primary role is to provide a safe and loving environment at home, where communication is open… let it be a safe place for kids to talk about how they feel and share your own stories and fears.” Tevlin’s No. 1 piece of advice to accomplish this openness: Ask questions! You can ask direct questions about how they feel about themselves and their bodies.
Or, you can ask about things in their surrounding environment; for example, how they feel about their friends, who are their favourite celebrities, TV shows and websites. On one hand, simply asking the questions and engaging in the conversations will help foster an open and trusting environment. Furthermore, how they respond gives parents a good sense of what’s going on in their minds and their lives. “Knowing how your kids feel is a good indicator of what they will do, how they treat others and themselves,” says Tevlin. ■
CONNECT WITH US how do you HElP BOOst your teen’s Self-ESTEEM?
info@inbetween.ca
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more than just
ZITS Acne can take a toll on a teen’s selfesteem. Here’s how to treat the problem and the scars it often leaves behind. by lara hyde
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Acne Dealing with Acne
E
ighteen-year-old Samantha’s Jackson’s* acne used to cause her serious stress. She felt self-conscious. Embarrassed. Like she always had to wear makeup. “I was frustrated because I had it the worst of all my friends. It was like, ‘Why me?’” says the Winnipeg-based teen. She tried everything—Proactiv, Tetracycline, light therapy, vacuum treatments, facials. None of it worked. And with every unsuccessful treatment, her self-esteem took another hit. “The effect that acne has on teens’ self-esteem is very powerful,” says Marie Bertrand, a microbiologist and skin scientist who is also the owner of the SkinScience Clinic in Calgary. “Teens are still relying on other people’s opinions for their self-worth. Acne can have a profound psychological impact.” That’s why it’s integral that parents handle their child’s skin problems. “When dealing with teen acne, it’s important that parents don’t just tell their kids that they’ll grow out of it, especially if the acne is severe or it is affecting them emotionally,” says Bertrand. “If acne is not put under control, it can lead to scarring, which can have much more farreaching consequences.” Here’s what else you should consider when your teen is facing acne issues. inbetween
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Dealing with Acne
“teens who have bad acne often become withdrawn. but after seeing results from proper treatment, their personalities change.” Emotional scars Not only should you, as the parent, be sensitive about your child’s skin—the specialist you choose should be too. “Teens with acne are often shy. They feel ashamed,” says Mia Liefso, a medical skin therapist and owner of Bradford Skin Clinic in Bradford, Ont. “Kids pick and squeeze trying to rub off their depression. We let them know it’s completely normal, and that it’s not the end of the world, even if it feels like it.” Several months ago, for example, a 19-year-old female with severe acne and scarring walked into Bertrand’s SkinScience Clinic with her parents. It was the first time she’d left her house in seven months. Her acne made her feel so self-conscious that she’d dropped out of school. It’s an extreme case, but Dr. Minuk, a Winnipeg-based dermatologist and owner of Dr. Minuk’s SkinClinic and Laser Centre says, “Teens who have bad acne often become withdrawn. But after seeing
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results from proper treatment, their personalities change. They become different people. The kid who was sitting in my office six months ago with a baseball cap over his head because he didn’t want to show his face? Now he’s got a girlfriend, his back is clear, his face is clear. Can you imagine how he feels? How his parents feel? He has come out of his shell.” While most acne in teens is hormonal, the other causes are clogged pores, bacteria and inflammation. In some people, certain foods can trigger breakouts (chocolate milk is one well-known culprit). This is why Bertrand emphasizes that everybody is different, and what works for one person might not work for another. Acne treatments Thankfully, acne treatments have come a long way in the past couple of decades, and there are now many options depending on cause and severity. Some people’s acne can be
controlled with one type of treatment but some need approaches that work on all four causes. The popular, celebrity-endorsed acne treatment, Proactiv, for example, contains benzoyl peroxide, which only works on bacteria, says Bertrand, while chemical peels can help fix clogged pores. If the problem is hormonal, women can sometimes be put on the birth control pill, adds Bertrand. “When teens come to us, we start by asking them how they wash their face,” says Liefso. “Some teen boys will tell us they use Axe body wash. Using a body wash to clean your face will dry out your skin and the perfume in it will possibly cause more acne, it is for the body not the face.” Liefso recommends washing one’s face twice a day with a gentle cleanser. “Don’t overdo it,” she adds. “Overcleansing a face will strip the skin causing pores to develop more oils and clog the pores. It also causes irritation and more inflammation.” Zyderma HS is a relatively new over-the-counter product
that has proven effective at treating mild to moderate acne. “People like it because it’s natural—there’s no harsh, toxic stuff in it,” says Bertrand. The active ingredient in the topical treatment is MicroSilver BG™, which is known for its antimicrobial properties. For many, the non-drying clarifying cream is a welcome alternative to antibiotics like Tetracycline. It also works as an anti-inflammatory, so it helps with redness and scarring. “Ninety-five per cent of teens just need to use a gentle soap, Zyderma HS and a salicylic acid product (for clogged pores) to control their acne,” says Bertrand. Although effective, Accutane comes with its own set of risks and side effects. While reactions are rare, officials warn the public to immediately stop taking Accutane and see their doctor if they develop a rash, particularly if it’s associated with fever, malaise or irritated eyes, blisters or sores on the legs, arms or face, as well as sores in the mouth, throat, nose or eyes and peeling skin. “People tend to focus on the negatives of Accutane,” says Dr. Minuk. “But this is the drug that revolutionized acne care. When given with proper instruction and monitored closely, it can have a hugely positive impact.” Dealing with scars Even after acne has stopped, pimples
ACNE ACTION To learn more about acne, go to www.AcneAction.ca, a new website created by the Acne and Rosacea Society of Canada to provide people with facts about this common skin condition. “There are many myths about acne,” says Dr. Ben Barankin, Toronto dermatologist and medical director of the Toronto Dermatology Centre. “Things like ‘you just have to get through it’, it’s ‘just pimples’, or ‘there’s nothing you can do about it.’ These myths can hold people back from getting treatment, make them feel bad and result in lifelong acne scars for some. As acne can last for years, these harmful effects can go on for a long time. As experts, we felt compelled to set up AcneAction.ca to let Canadians know they can take steps to get their acne under control.” inbetween
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Dealing with Acne
can leave a legacy. Severe acne as well as constant picking or squeezing can result in ice picklooking scars, most commonly found along the jaw line, cheeks and temples. Dr. Minuk says scarring can be improved with various treatments such as Co2 and Fraxel laser resurfacing. The laser penetrates the skin below the dermis and physically removes the scars by paring down, smoothing out the edges and allowing the area to heal from the surrounding skin. “This removes as much of the scar as we can by ablating it or removing skin. It also stimulates collagen to contract the skin and make the scar smaller,” says Dr. Minuk. “The results can be fabulous. It can really be a difference between night and day and take patients’ complexions to a place where they haven’t been for years.” Preventing breakouts Bertrand has one final tip for keeping acne at bay. “Watch what you put on your face,” she says. “Oil-based makeup is a major cause of clogged pores. People with acne shouldn’t put any oils on their
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face. It’s also important to remove makeup at night to prevent clogged pores.” Just because a product claims to be oil-free doesn’t mean there’s no oil in it—just no mineral oil, Bertrand warns. “BB creams, CC creams, and primers are especially bad as they contain silicone, which can clog pores. If it says ‘For All Skin Types,’ it’s not for acne-prone skin,” she says. “Be careful of anything highcoverage, high-definition or longlasting. These products contain more waxes, silicone, more
ingredients that can clog pores,” adds Bertrand. As for Jackson, she finally found success with Accutane. After enduring four months of the aggressive anti-acne drug, she now rarely experiences breakouts, and when she does, they go away faster than before. Her complexion is clear, her skin tone is even. “I feel great now. I have my confidence back,” she says. “It’s the best feeling in the world to know I’ll never have to go back to that again.” ■ *Name changed for confidentiality
Recommended Products:
Zyderma HS Antimicrobial Clarifying Cream 30 ml, www.zyderma. com, $29.95
Colorescience Sunforgettable Mineral Sunscreen Brush, www.colorscience.com, SPF 30 $52, SPF 50 $62 Priori CoffeeBerry Perfecting Foundation SPF 25, $49-$52. For selected retailers, contact info@clarionmedical.com
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A ISSUE For many teens, self-harm is the only way to cope with anxiety, stress and sadness. In fact, one of four injury hospitalizations for youth, ages 10 to 17, has to do with self-harm. Here’s how to help your teen from becoming part of this staggering statistic. by erin hesselink
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Self-Harm
I
t all started when Alyssa G* was 14 years old. She was ecstatic to start high school, to make new friends, to feel a newfound freedom… but all of that changed about two months into Grade 9. The happy-golucky, outgoing girl disappeared and left someone timid and shy in her place. She didn’t want to make new friends; she didn’t want to get to know anyone else. “I was constantly worrying about what other people were doing. If someone laughed behind me, I thought it was definitely about me and I would feel sick,” she says. “Every time I went to class, every time I did anything, I would just have this overwhelming feeling that I needed to leave.” Eventually, the constant worry and anxiety turned into an overwhelming sadness. She did her best to keep up a perpetually happy attitude around her friends, and would come home feeling irritable and exhausted. “I was a completely different person,” she says. “If someone ate too loudly, I’d have a breakdown. If someone slammed their door, if someone walked in late, if something didn’t go my way… I was just snapping at everybody.” After one of many fights with her parents, Alyssa ran upstairs. She sat there, not knowing what else to do, so angry and frustrated that she grabbed a pair of scissors and cut herself. She was instantly terrified as soon inbetween
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Signs of self-harm ❑ Weather-inappropriate clothing, such as long sleeves in the summer
❑ Withdrawn attitude ❑ Overly happy attitude (teen might be compensating for how they’re feeling)
❑ Unexplained cuts or injuries, or a lot of accidents
❑ Changes in social life or friend group as she saw blood. “I thought to myself, I’ve finally reached the breaking point—I’ve lost it. But at the same time, there was something so relieving about it that I started doing it again and again.” The sad truth is Alyssa is far from alone. In fact, self-harm is growing in popularity among youth, according to a recent report from the Canadian Institute for Health Information, which states that one in four injury hospitalizations for youth, ages 10 to 17, has to do with self-harm. The face of self-harm Self-harm can be done in many ways such as poisoning, cutting, burning or punching, and is most often done without suicidal
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intentions. According to Sheri Ongena, a clinical lead for Children’s Services in central and north Wellington County, Ont., and coordinator of the Child and Youth Sexual Abuse Team at the Canadian Mental Health Association (CMHA), self-harm is simply a way of coping. “It is easier to feel physical pain than emotional pain,” says Ongena, noting that specific reasons for self-harm vary with each individual. “They feel the need for a release of overwhelming feelings.” For Alyssa, cutting became a fix-it-all activity. At school, at home, wherever she could, she would self-harm, and it provided temporary relief from the emotions she was dealing with.
❑ Changes in school performance
“If I needed to cry and was feeling numb, I could self-harm and feel that emotion. And if I was too emotional, and I couldn’t stop crying, I could self-harm and instantly feel calm,” says Alyssa. “I would instantly feel like myself again, even if it was just for a fragment of time.” According to a study published in the Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, self-harm is an addiction and can be compared to the high that drug users experience, making it extremely difficult for teens to give up the behaviour. It puts them in a place of isolation,
Self-Harm
alyssa attempted suicide. it was only after that when she sought help. which allows the addiction to get more intense. After struggling with her addiction for eight months, Alyssa attempted suicide. It was only after that when she sought help. How to help Alyssa, who now works for two mental health organizations and shares her story to help others who are struggling with self-harm, advises parents that it’s OK to be scared. “Seek your own support, and advocate for your child. When a child is struggling so much, it can be so hard and if you can help them rather than shame them, it will make a world of difference.” Alyssa says that telling her mother about her own self-harm was the most difficult thing she has ever done in her life. But the way her mother responded shocked her, with a few simple words, “We will figure this out.” “The fact that I wasn’t alone anymore, the fact that someone had accepted my struggling and said that they would walk with me through it was game-changing.” “Kids have to know that they
can go somewhere,” says Marnie Wedlake, a mental health educator with CMHA. “However, an open door does not mean anything goes.” Wedlake suggests supporting your child while teaching them healthier ways of coping, and how to unplug. “The amount of emotional burdens that these kids are carrying is enormous, especially with social pressures to be connected and exposed 24/7. That takes a lot of energy.” Every individual is different, so use this recovery time as an opportunity to help your teen get to know themselves better and discover what coping strategies work for them. She says to avoid questioning, “What’s wrong with my kid?” but instead ask, “What has happened to my kid that has caused them to self-harm?” Wedlake stresses that self-harm does not equate to suicidal thoughts. The most important thing is to keep an open conversation, and to be optimistic and helpful during their recovery. Sometimes that road to recovery includes therapy and sometimes it doesn’t, but it can be very helpful. Alyssa advises to be
patient if you are trying to find a therapist because your teen won’t connect with just anyone. Make sure you do your research and look for someone who specializes in teens and depression, anxiety or self-harm. Alyssa saw a psychologist for three years during her recovery, which she says was fantastic, and she learned new coping strategies and constructive things she could do when she was feeling upset. Medication is also an option that you can discuss with a psychiatrist. “I started taking medication, which really helped,” says Alyssa. “It didn’t solve it all but it brought up my mood just enough so that I could start practicing things that I had learned in therapy.” Overall, be supportive and make sure your teen knows that you’re there for them during this difficult time. “And don’t forget to be normal,” says Alyssa. “Don’t forget to ask the little things, like ‘how was your day?’ Or ‘Would you like to come watch TV?’ We often get so caught up in that bubble that we forget to treat each other like humans.” ■ *Name changed for confidentiality
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A HEAV TOPI 34 inbetween
VY IC
Teens & Weight
How to talk to your kids about losing weight by jordana handler
hen sheri noticed her daughter, Emily, 13, was gaining weight, she wasn’t sure how to broach the topic. “I had noticed Emily gaining a lot of weight and wanted to address it in a way that wouldn’t make her feel ashamed or guilty,” she says. Talking to teens about their weight gain can top the list of tough parenting conversations. Say the wrong thing and you can offend them and send the wrong message. Here’s how to approach the touchy topic and promote a healthy lifestyle for you and your teen. When to say something How to know whether you should weighin on your teen’s weight can be tricky. Gail Kardish, a dietician at the Centre inbetween
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time to have the uncomfortable conversation about weight loss with your teen.
actions speak louder than words; get teens involved in mealtime preparation. for Addiction and Mental Health (CAMH) in Toronto who specializes in eating disorders, notes that weight fluctuation in your teen years is a very normal thing and that all healthy teens will eventually settle into their natural normal weight. It
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is important to notice, though, when your teen is displaying habits that do not seem normal or healthy. Binge eating and poor food choices are things to watch out for, along with unusual weight gain and low self-esteem. Those are the clues that it is
Language matters Kardish emphasizes the importance of the language we use surrounding weight loss. She recommends omitting the word ‘diet’ from your family’s vocabulary and instead focus on key topics related to healthy eating like portion control. Her other tips include: ❑ Ask your child how he/she feels about his/her weight ❑ Ask your teen if his/her friends are concerned with healthy eating ❑ Engage your teen to discuss what “healthy eating” means to him/her ❑ Say, “I love you and I don’t have a problem with how you look, but as your parent, I’m concerned that you are carrying around extra weight and this can hurt your health.” Get involved After searching for advice on the Internet and consulting with her doctor and friends on how to open such a dialogue, Sheri decided to ask Emily if she was happy
Teen’s Teens & Weight
with her weight. When she learned that Emily had concerns about getting “fat,” she decided that actions would speak louder than words and began getting Emily involved in mealtime preparation. She says it was a great time for the two to bond and for Sheri to teach her daughter about healthy eating. She also implemented family activity time when the whole family would engage in something physically active together every day. Although it’s not easy broaching the topic of weight loss with your teen, do it today and you can set them up for a healthier and happier tomorrow. Formula for success The Childhood Obesity Foundation has set out a 5-2-1-0 rule to healthy living: five extra servings of vegetables per week, two hours less screen time, one hour more physical activity and sweetened beverages.
For more information or to help find a dietician please visit: www.dietitians.ca/Your-Health/ Assess-Yourself/Assess-YourBMI/BMI-Children.aspx
FiTNESS GaDGETS
FOR YOU AND YOUR TEEN Make fitness fun with these gadgets that will help you and your teen stay on track and in sync.
Apple Watch $349 US (Canadian pricing not available yet) The latest in Apple technology, the Apple Watch is a revolutionary fitness companion that your teen will love for its cool factor. Designed to keep you efficient, organized and productive, it’s also made to keep you moving. The Fitbit Charge ($139.99) tracks your activity all day including steps taken, distance travelled, calories burned, floors climbed and active minutes. Charge lets you see every stat as it happens—right on your wrist—and shows your incoming calls when your phone is nearby. By automatically and wirelessly syncing your stats to your computer and 120+ compatible leading smartphones, Charge lets you see your progress on-the go, and shows you detailed charts and graphs so you can track your trends over time. Nike+ Kinect Training for Xbox 360 ($40) is for people who are determined to get or stay in shape and who take their workouts seriously. The game evaluates your fitness and athleticism and creates a customized training program based on your fitness level. You choose a male or female virtual trainer and pick a fitness goal on which you want to base your workouts: strength building, toning, or weight loss. You can also skip the customized plan and jump right into a preset workout with the Quick Start or Five Minute Sessions options. Some of the strength exercises require the use of weights. ■
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SAVVY $AVING sTRATEGIES FOR YOUR CHILD’S EDUCATION
Not many of us have $62,000 kicking around, which is the average cost of a four-year university degree. But that doesn’t mean you have to close the book on your child’s path to post-secondary education. Here’s how to make your money work for you and pay for those hefty tuition bills. by romana king
Romana King is senior editor at MoneySense magazine. Follow her at www.facebook. com/RKHomeOwner
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Saving Strategies
B
eing a parent is challenging and rewarding — and, at times, expensive. And all three are captured in one large parenting issue: sending your child off to university or college. When it comes to saving for your child’s post-secondary education, the early bird really does get the worm. Why? Because the sooner you start saving, the more time your savings have to benefit from compound interest, the money your investments earn. So how do you choose the right investment vehicle for your child’s future tuition? Adding it up The answer isn’t as simple as it might appear. That’s because the easiest way to save—by sticking the money in a high-interest savings bank account—isn’t the wisest option. At a two per cent return, the account won’t help you grow your savings. When you consider that a four-year university degree currently costs $62,000, growing your money should be an integral part of your savings strategy. Instead, consider opening up a Registered Education Savings Plan (RESP), which entitles you to government grants. Yep, free money. Under the RESP, the federal government will give you 20 per cent on every dollar you inbetween
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Saving Strategies
▲
“the benefit of using a tfsa is that any interest you earn on your savings can be withdrawn tax-free.” save, up to a maximum of $2,500, each year. That means if you save $1,000, you’ll get an extra $200. “It’s a guaranteed 20 per cent return,” explains finance guru Gail Vaz-Oxlade. For that reason, your No. 1 savings tool should be an RESP. However, before you plough all your savings into the RESP, consider your family’s overall financial picture. For instance: Are you making an RRSP contribution as well as an RESP contribution? If so, consider how you can use each investment vehicle to your advantage. Making your Money work If your family’s annual net income is $80,000 and your total RRSP contributions are $4,000, you’ll end up getting back
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approximately $860 (if you live in Ontario). Use this refund to invest in your child’s RESP, which is automatically topped up to $1,032 because of the RESP grant. Win-win, right? Of course, if you’re fortunate enough each year to max out your RRSPs and you plan on saving more than $2,500 towards your child’s future schooling, you’ll want to consider opening up a Tax-Free Savings Account (TFSA). The benefit of using a TFSA is that any interest you earn on your savings can be withdrawn tax-free. The drawback is that all contributions to a TFSA are made with after-tax dollars, so you won’t be eligible for a refund (which is just one reason why you should max out your RRSP before even considering a TFSA). But any money you withdraw—including any interest or earnings you’ve made on the investment—is tax-free. For those parents comfortable with investing, the TFSA can allow
you to, once again, maximize your overall investment strategy. For example, by investing $5,000 in stocks held within a TFSA, you could earn a five per cent return over eight months (or $167). If you withdrew the full sum, of $5,167, you could turn it into a tax-free contribution to your child’s RESP. Keep in mind, though, a TFSA can only be opened by a person 18 or older and pay attention to withdrawals as this will impact the current $5,500 contribution limits. Regardless of what strategy you choose, just remember that the key to growing your savings is to start early and contribute often. ■
CONNECT WITH US
Have a question for romana? info@inbetween.ca
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SLIM SCULPT SPRING!
Personal trainer to the celebs, Harley Pasternak gives INBETWEEN the star treatment with his top three body-shaping moves. by harley pasternak inbetween
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Spring Fitness
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Butt
Harley Pasternak is a celebrity trainer and nutritionist. A New York Times Bestselling Author, his books include 5-Factor Fitness, 5-Factor Diet, The 5-Factor World Diet, and The Body Reset Diet. Pasternak’s clients include the likes of Lady Gaga, Rihanna, Halle Berry, Megan Fox and Jessica Simpson.
E
ver looked at a celeb’s physique with envy? Those arms, those abs, that butt. How DO they do it? Sure, the rich and famous may have personal chefs, trainers and the like, but that doesn’t mean you can’t try their movie star moves. Here’s how.
like kim kardashian Bench Hip Thrusts
“The key to a great butt is not only toning the glutes themselves, but framing the top and bottom (no pun intended) with a strong lower back and hamstrings. This move hits all three areas.” 1. Lay down on the ground or a mat with your head and back flat on the ground and your knees bent with your feet on a low sturdy bench or step, shoulder-width apart and parallel. 2. Using your glutes and hamstrings, push your butt off the floor so that your head, hips and knees are in line. Hold for one beat and lower with control back to start. That’s one rep. Do 3 sets of 20. inbetween
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Spring Celeb Fitness Sculpt
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ARMS like megan fox
Triceps Press Up
“Your arms are 2/3 tricep, so toned triceps are the key to strong, sinewy arms.” 1. Lay down down on your stomach with your face up and your palms flat on the ground under your shoulders.
ABS
2. Drive through the heel of your palms as you straighten your elbows, then lower yourself back down halfway and repeat. Make sure you keep your elbows close to your ribs on the way up and the way down. That’s one rep. Do 3 sets of 20.
like lady gaga Trunk Twist
“The trunk twist works your transverse abs, which are called the ‘corset muscle’ because, if strengthened properly, these muscles can help “pull” your midsection in, creating the effect of a narrower waist.” 1. Seated on the floor, lean back 30 degrees with your knees slightly bent and with your hands up like a boxer protecting your face. 2. Twist left and reach across your body with your right hand, then do the opposite. That’s one rep. Do 3 sets of 20.
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Spring Fitness
super This smoothie from Harley Pasternak’s book, The Body Reset Diet, gets its fibre from multiple sources and keeps you satisfied until your next meal.
Photograph by maya visnyei photography
photography by agnes wywrot; agnes.wywrot@gmail.com
Carrot-pineapple cake smoothie Serves 1 3/4 cup unsweetened almond milk 7 baby carrots 1 cup frozen chopped pineapple 1/2 cup chopped cored unpeeled apple 1 tbsp ground flaxseed 1/2 tsp grated fresh ginger 1 serving unsweetened protein powder Ice cubes (optional) Place ingredients in a blender in the order listed. Add ice if preferred. Blend until desired consistency is reached, adding water to thin out if necessary. Recipe is from The Body Reset Diet
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FREE
APPS
to keep you on track
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RunKeeper GPS Running, Walk, Cycling, Workout and Weight Tracker Track your pace, measure your workout distance, chart your weight loss, crush your training goals and more. For Apple and Android phones.
DailyBurn Bring the gym to you with DailyBurn, a selection of trainer-led workouts for all fitness levels. DailyBurn’s wide variety covers cardio, high-intensity interval training, yoga, strength-training, dance and beginner workouts. For Apple and Android phones.
easiest and m keep track o eat and drink Android pho
Foodzy is your personal food & health journal. This app is the most fun way to of everything you k. For Apple and ones.
Spring Fitness
FITNESS There’s nothing more motivating than looking good while you work out. This selection from Joe Fresh will keep you and your teen looking and feeling great. by jordana handler
(From left to right) Yellow tank top, $12. Black speckled tank top, $24. Grey track pants, $19. MOVE t-shirt, $10. Charcoal leggings w/ yellow band, $19.
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4 5 2
Brooke BurkeCharvet
on her TOES
Photos courtesy of SKECHERS USA
From building businesses and acting to staying fit and keeping up with her teens, ex-host of DWTS Brooke Burke-Charvet chats with INBETWEEN about keeping up with it all. by rachel naud
When the music stopped for Brooke Burke-Charvet on Dancing with the Stars, and it was announced she would not be invited to return to co-host after eight seasons, nobody was more shocked than Burke-Charvet herself. “I understand the industry, and when and why changes need to be made,” says Burke-Charvet. “Not to say it wasn’t shocking the way it all went down.” It was a blow, most certainly, but the model and actress took the news with grace, channelled her inner dancer (the one who led her to victory as the first contestant to win DWTS) and simply shook it off. “It really pushed me into looking at the next chapter sooner rather than later and deciding what I wanted to do next,” she says. “But I think through change we grow and that’s a lesson that
I always try to teach my children. Change is good.” If anyone knows about transitions, it’s BurkeCharvet. Beyond modelling, acting and hosting, she is also a fashion designer, fitness guru and entrepreneur. Yet, two of her most important roles include being mom to four children, ages six to 14, and being a cancer survivor. We caught up with the busy mom to chat about juggling fame and family and how she handles another phase in life—parenting teens. Talking about the C-word It’s a conversation no mother ever wants to have with her kids. But when Burke-Charvet learned she had thyroid cancer in 2012, she had to explain her scary situation to her children. “It was frightening,” she says. “We were all scared, but I was very hopeful. I did a lot of research inbetween
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Brooke BurkeCharvet
“i have four children with different personalities and it’s amazing to me how what works with one fails with another.” and I communicated to them (about the disease) honestly. As healthy as I am, it surprised me how, out of nowhere, something can come along. It was eyeopening.” Today, Burke-Charvet is cancer-free, something she credits to catching it early due to regular checkups. “Physicals, mammograms, blood work, do it all,” she says. “We have one thing in the world that we have control of and that’s our bodies. Yes, sh** still happens, but we have a much better shot at it if we’re medically responsible.” Health matters When it comes to staying healthy and fit, Burke-Charvet makes no apologies for carving the time for fitness. The 43-year-old teaches a Booty Burn fitness class two to three times a week—a workout she created herself—and does salsa and Pilates classes. “I try to work out five days a week,” she says. “I don’t feel guilty about the time I dedicate to myself. I understand that this is so much more than just a body. I exercise for my head and my stress, and it’s so beneficial
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for me. I let myself be equally as important as all the other responsibilities of raising a family and make a commitment to myself to be as healthy as I can.” Passion projects With everything Burke-Charvet has on the go, she needs to be in tip-top shape. In addition to her recurring role on Melissa & Joey on ABC Family, she is also the CEO of ModernMom.com, an online community for moms everywhere, and founder of Caelum, a fashion-forward fitness line. The line, which is available in both Canada and the U.S., was created to help women move from the gym to running errands in style. “I know what it’s like being a busy mom and woman, and Caelum helps women transition from one place to another in fashion,” she says. “There has been a merger, as of late, of fitness and fashion. I wanted to help women really dress the part and have fun doing it. I wanted to make fitness more fun and a little bit edgier
and more fashionable. That was the motivation for me.” Being a mom is also what inspired her to start ModernMom. com, which Burke-Charvet describes as a destination to learn, share, educate and connect. “I’m a big believer in a 24/7 community where you can share, blog, read, connect or just vent,” she says. “I live and breathe family and children and motherhood, so I have made a commitment in my platform as a celebrity to really share my sort of challenges and triumphs so we can learn from one another. That’s really what it’s about: Having the community to share and learn and grow and hopefully laugh a little bit.” Talking Teen With two teens, one tween and an elementary school-aged child, Burke-Charvet does a lot of laughing—and learning—especially with her two teen girls. “I get re-educated every single day,” she says. “I go from being the coolest most fabulous mom to a complete geek in the same moment. I have four children
Photos courtesy of SKECHERS USA
with different personalities and it’s amazing to me how what works with one fails with another. It’s a lot of managing different personalities every single day.” One of the most challenging aspects she encounters in raising teens is finding the balance between being there and leaving them be. “It’s difficult. I’ve never been a helicopter mom. I give my children a lot of freedom,” she says. “I want them to be able to make their own decisions and learn from their mistakes. But I also want to stay close enough to them so that I’m involved as much as I can be.” To keep a close relationship with all her children, Burke-Charvet says she not only works out with her teens, but she also does sleepovers in the same bed and makes sure to bond over dinner prep. “We cook together,” she says. “I really think it’s so important to lead by example and to educate them that way. I grew up with family dinners and I’m really big on them.” Another way she gets them to talk? Implementing a no-tech rule in the car and at the dinner table. “That way they’re not buried in their cellphones and we can
actually have a conversation,” she says. “I try to limit all that stuff.” That stuff also includes a Facebook account (or lack thereof) for her 15-year-old, daughter. “I just feel like there’s too much technology in her life and she spends too much time on her phone as it is,” says BurkeCharvet. “So that’s my real issue. I’d rather have her connect in a real way rather than on social
media. But I will definitely lose that battle, I’m sure.” As for other battles sure to come, Burke-Charvet says the best way to arm yourself as a parent of a teen is simply to connect. “Stay close. Talk a lot. Listen. Don’t be judgmental. Know when to reach out and know when to wait,” she says. “It’s almost like you have to learn how to speak teen.” ■ inbetween
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Family Trip
LESS
TY
Renowned for gambling, free-flowing liquor and a whole lotta hijinks, Las Vegas is actually a wonderful family-friendly destination. We bet (or not) that your teens will love it. by jacqueline kovacs
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Family Trip
W
here can you kick off your day sipping coffee while gondoliers glide past, serenading passengers on their slender canal boats, stroll to Paris to enjoy lunch in a bistro beneath the Eiffel Tower, and wind down the day at an Irish pub in Manhattan, tapping your toes to folk tunes while a real Irish dancer takes to the stage? Only in Las Vegas, of course. Known as Sin City (for all the trouble one could get into!), Las Vegas actually boasts a plethora of nongambling fun that make this one-of-a-kind destination the perfect family trip for those of us whose children are teens and young adults.
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Mystere
Take in a show Las Vegas is entertainment heaven. From world-famous singers to first-class theatre and everything in between, you can find something that suits your family. Sing along as Elton John performs at the stunning Caesars Palace, see Britney Spears at Planet Hollywood or Boys II Men at the Mirage, among other acts. Or be awed by the physical mastery of Cirque de Soleil. The famous acrobatic troupe has eight different shows on offer along the Las Vegas Boulevard hotel strip, including Mystere at Treasure Island and Michael Jackson One at Mandalay Bay. But this Beatles freak couldn’t miss Beatles Love at The Mirage — a jaw-dropping acrobatic performance set to the best music ever. If theatre shows are your thing, Vegas will not disappoint. Take in hit shows such as Jersey Boys at Paris Hotel, Blue Man Group at Monte Carlo, Menopause at Luxor, or—why not—Zombie Burlesque at Planet Hollywood, perfect for big-kid fans of The Walking Dead looking for a bit of twisted fun.
Pool at Treasure Island
mystere photo coutesy of cirque de soleil, hotel photos courtesy of treasure island
Hotel Haven After a day of walking and gawking, it’s hard to beat the bliss of soaking up a hotel’s spa facilities. Whether you’re staying in Caesars Palace Hotel & Casino, Venetian Resort Hotel Casino, Wynn or Aria Resort & Casino, you’ll find all the high-end services you need to chillax. For me, that meant taking advantage of the exercise and spa facilities at Treasure Island. The hotel’s topnotch fitness room had all the machines and free weights you’d expect from a first-class gym. But after working up a sweat, the spa beckoned sweetly and I did not resist. I practically had the soothing hot tub, steam room and sauna all to myself — a welcome break from the bustle of the hotel malls and casino areas. For a good 30 minutes, I forgot all about where I was and felt truly relaxed. The perfect palate cleanser before another night in fabulous Las Vegas! inbetween
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Family Trip
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The Fremont Experience
Shopping and sightseeing Strolling the themed hotels is a great way to get a little exercise and marvel at the illusions created. Shops in the Venetian, for instance, line the perimeter of a mock Venice, with working canals and a great open piazza. And the ceiling is so cleverly painted, you really feel as though you’re outside. It’s also worthwhile checking out the Shops at the Forum within Caesars Palace. Here, more than 160 specialty shops are enclosed in a gorgeous recreation of Rome. It is no surprise that the complex is known as “the shopping wonder of the world.” If you’re a certain age and remember the TV show Vegas, you may wonder what happened to that gritty strip with the ginormous neon cowboy. Well, it’s still there, but in a slightly cleaned-up package known as The Fremont Experience. Fremont Street was the original Las Vegas strip, complete with neon galore, showgirls and shady characters. But over the years, as Vegas grew and people started spending their money elsewhere, the area became seedier and less appealing. Then, in 1995, a $70-million plan was hatched to revive the historic strip and create “The Fremont Experience” — a crazy fun combination of gambling,
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entertainment, shopping and free public concerts, all under a spectacular canopy with 12.5 million lights and 550,000 watts of sound that delivers a Vegas-worthy show every hour. You can take in the pure Vegas fun that is Fremont by strolling the traffic-free strip or you can get a different view altogether by ziplining over the top. For still another view of Vegas history, don’t miss The Neon Museum. Located on Las Vegas Boulevard, this haunting collection includes 150 famous neon signs, including the Golden Nugget, the Flamingo, Caesars Palace and Stardust. You can tour it day or night, but only via one-hour guided tours. A slightly different angle on local history can be found at the Mob Museum. Get an inside perspective on the battle between organized crime and law enforcement with up-close looks at artifacts such as the actual wall from the Valentine’s Day Massacre. Even the building housing the collection is an artifact — the city’s original federal building. Whether you spend your days at museums or shows or simply soaking up the electric vibe that is Las Vegas, one thing is for certain: What happens in Vegas, will last a lifetime in memories for you and your family. ■
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Fostering your health, body and relationship
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Scratch the stress-cipes and serve up chef lynn crawford’s meal, perfect for your springtime soirée.
Photos courtesy of Kathleen Finlay
by lynn crawford
EASTER
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Couples’ Easy Getaway Easter
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othing unites family more than a mouth-watering meal. But sometimes being the host can be stressful. To make this Easter a happy one, here are Chef Lynn Crawford’s top five tips for entertaining with ease.
1.
Write out a prep list. Having a plan of attack helps break down what seems like a large project into smaller, more manageable parts.
2.
Set the table the day before. Or better yet, get your teen to help you. It’s an easy task, and you’ll feel more relaxed doing it before the big day.
3.
Serve dinner family-style. Leave the individually plated dishes to dining out. Put out generous platters and full bowls and have everyone help themselves.
4.
Celebrate seasonal ingredients. Easter signals the beginning of spring. Highlight what’s available in the markets now: Asparagus, peas and spring lamb.
5.
Remember to have fun! Enjoy your own dinner. As the host/ hostess, you help set the tone of the evening. A little bit of planning goes a long way to help you feel relaxed.
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FULL RECIPES click here
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Conscious CouplinG in this issue:
NEW YORK
F
ebruary can keep its hearts and flowers and chocolate. We all know springtime is the real season for romance. After all, Friend Owl in Bambi told us so. The scene—branded in our brains as the only explanation of seasonal sentiment—starts with a pair of birds frolicking, dancing
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and happily chirping together in the picture-perfect blue sky. “What’s the matter with them?” asked Flower the skunk. “Why, don’t you know?” chuckled Friend Owl. “They’re twitterpated. Yes, nearly everybody gets twitterpated in the springtime.” But one thing Disney never taught us is that sometimes, after
by rachel naud
years of careers, kids and coupledom, we swap the butterflies for bills and responsibilities and lose sight of what it means to be in love. That’s why we’ve put together a fun weekend away to reconnect and rediscover what it means to be twitterpated. And what better place to do it than one of the most magical cities in the world: New York.
Couples’ Getaway
Photos Courtesy of the iroquois hotel
STAY As soon as you walk through the doors of The Iroquois Hotel, you’ll feel like you’ve stepped into someplace special. Despite its contemporary amenities, it has an undeniable Old New York charm. Perhaps it’s because one of the baddest boys in Hollywood —James Dean—once called the Triumph Hotel home. Or maybe it’s because some notable events occurred within the walls of The Iroquois including a murder in 1911 when Paul Geidel, previously a bellboy of the hotel, murdered a resident of the hotel in his apartment. (Geidel was sentenced to prison until 1980, which was entered into the Guinness Book of Records as the longest prison sentenced ever served.) Today, the four-star luxury
boutique hotel, which is tucked away on a quiet, upscale stretch of 44th Street in the heart of Midtown Manhattan, offers a mix of vintage charm (there’s an actual library with Lantern’s Keep books and newspapers) and modern slate of creative and inspired luxuries including 24-hour room drinks that reflect the period of service, Frette bathrobes and a 32-inch LG flat screen HD TV with the Temperance movement in the U.S. and the subsequent plight of DVD player and LodgeNet Digital American bartenders to friendlier Movie System—perfect for a cozy destinations in Europe. It boasts night in for two. some of the best bartenders in For a romantic nightcap, head NYC—experts on hand-crafted downstairs to Lantern’s Keep, a cocktails, with a wealth of exhidden gem tucked behind the perience behind the city’s most refined lobby of The Iroquois. prestigious bars. Not a lobby lounge or an average 49 West 44th Street, 212.840.3080, cocktail bar in NYC, Lantern’s iroquoisny.com Keep serves a carefully selected inbetween
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Couples’ Getaway
EXPLORE One of the best aspects of The Iroquois Hotel is that it’s situated in the heart of Manhattan, a short walking distance from Bryant Park, Times Square, the Theater District, Rockefeller Center and fancy Fifth Avenue shopping destinations, to name a few. One of the best and most economical ways to explore New York is with a New York CityPASS (citypass.com). Starting at $114 for adults (a value of $196), New York CityPASS ticket booklets provide discounted entry to some of New York’s most iconic attractions—including the Empire State Building, American Museum of Natural History, the Statue of Liberty and others—while saving travellers nearly half off admission prices and allowing them to skip most main-entrance ticket lines. Beginning March 1, the National September 11 Memorial & Museum and the Intrepid Sea, Air & Space Museum will also be included in the booklet. Just steps away from your home base at The Iroquois, use your CityPASS to get into the Museum of Modern Art (moma.org) and check out the multifaceted work of composer, musician, and singer Björk.
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Central Park The exhibition draws from more than 20 years of the artist’s daring and innovative projects and her eight full-length albums to chronicle her career through sound, film, visuals, instruments, objects, and costumes. After that, head to the Guggenheim Museum (guggenheim. org) for The Hugo Boss Prize 2014: Paul Chan, Nonprojections for New Lovers. The exhibit features the first U.S. presentation of Chan’s recent series Nonprojections (2013–), a body of work comprised of video projectors and jury-rigged, power-conducting shoes that are connected by specially designed cords. To soak in the city, enjoy the breathtaking views of New York at the nearby Top of the Rock Observation Deck at Rockefeller
Fifth Avenue Center (topoftherocknyc.com). Day or night, it serves up an awe-inspiring view. End the night with musical theatre. Just down the street from The Iroquois sits one of the best performances on Broadway – Hedwig and the Angry Inch (hedwigbroadway. com). The 90-minute, no-intermission play will make you feel everything from joy and laughter to sadness and anger. With Hollywood notables taking on the role of Hedwig (including the likes of Neil Pat-
American Museum of Natural History
Claudette serves up a cozy atmosphere
Photos: ©American Museum of NaturaL history, claudette Photo courtesy of Brian Park.
Dine
rick Harris and Michael C. Hall), the rock musical about a fictional band fronted by an East German transgender singer is unforgettable. Try to get a seat upfront for an interactive experience with Hedwig and, if you’re a Glee fan, note that Darren Criss takes over as Hedwig on April 29.
STAY GIVEAWAY!
If you’re tired and hungry after a long day of exploring and want to stick close to the vicinity of The Iroquois, try Butter Midtown at 70 West 45th St. (butterrestaurant.com) A quick five-minute walk from the hotel, Executive Chef Alex Guarnaschelli of Food Network fame offers greenmarket fare in a stylish, intimate atmosphere featuring a high-arching ceiling and cozy booths. Perfectly suited for a romantic evening, the menu features a selection of fresh seafood and oysters. If you feel like venturing out, take the opportunity to stroll through trendy Greenwich Village, which offers some of the newest and most praised restaurants in the borough of Manhattan. For lunch, try the cheery new Provençal-themed restaurant, Claudette at 24 5th Ave (claudettenyc.com). Owners Carlos Suarez and Marc Barak provide a warm, inviting atmosphere to enjoy an authentic Mediterranean-themed menu. Upland (uplandnyc.com), located on 345 Park Ave. South, serves up California-inspired cuisine. Named after a West Coast town that influenced Chef Justin Smillie’s love affair with cooking, the space is warm, airy, and a direct reflection of the California aesthetic. It acts as the perfect setting to match the deliciousness coming out of the kitchen to the robustness of the 500-plus bottle wine program overseen by beverage director Chantelle Pabros. Part of elite restaurateur Stephen Starr’s mini-empire, Upland offers a warm vibe to counter the often cold, hectic nature of Manhattan living. ■
Experience the charm of NYC and Triumph Hotels with a free two-night stay! Enter to win a stay at any of the seven Triumph Hotels (including The Iroquois Hotel) and two free New York CityPASSES at www.inbetween.ca/contests inbetween
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Final Thrill
Lighten
up
What better time to freshen up your makeup than spring? Try some pretty pastel eyeshadows for lovely lighter lids.
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for parents caught in the middle of raising a teen & young adult