INBETWEEN December/January 2017

FOR PARENTS CAUGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF RAISING A TEEN & YOUNG ADULT

DECEMBER/JANUARY 2017

finally!

YOUR TEEN’S BRAIN, EXPLAINED

BOYS & HPV

WHY SOME SCHOOLS ARE VACCINATING TEEN BOYS

AMERICAN HOUSEWIFE ’S DIEDRICH BADER ON THE IMPORTANT ROLE DADS PLAY

16 gifts

cool

teen

for your

#BESTGIFTEVER

A FAST TALK WITH GILMORE GIRLS’ VANESSA MARANO

inbetween DECEMBER & JANUARY 2017

15

INFORM

UNDERSTANDING YOUR TEEN’S BRAIN

7 HEALTH & LIFE NEWS 9 ASK THE EXPERT Kimberly

Moffit on how to tell if your teen is depressed

9

11 GIVING BOYS A SHOT

Boys and the HPV vaccine 15 THE WAY THEY’RE WIRED

Understanding your teen’s brain

IS YOUR TEEN DEPRESSED?

INSIGHT 18 RAISING DAD TMI! Why having some secrets is a good thing 21 10 MINUTES WITH...

11

Vanessa Marano of Gilmore Girls

INSPIRE

BOYS AND HPV

26 GIFTS THEY’LL LOVE

16 cool gifts your teen will love

16gifts they’ll love

29 COVER STORY

American Housewife’s Diedrich Bader chats about being a dad on and off the screen

INDULGE 34 COMFORT MEETS LUXURY

Why The Langham Hotel in Chicago is the perfect getaway 38 PARTY PLANNING

26

How to choose the right spa for your child’s birthday party 42 FINAL THRILL

Let it snow

December & January 2017 INBETWEEN

3

DECEMBER & JANUARY 2017

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

RACHEL NAUD ART DIRECTOR

Contributors

CAROLINE BISHOP

ALYSON SCHAFER is one of Canada’s most notable parenting experts. She is a therapist, bestselling author, international speaker and consultant, appearing regularly on The Marilyn Denis Show. On page 15, she examines the teenage brain and how parents can learn to understand it.

FASHION EDITOR

JORDANA HANDLER WEBSITE MANAGER

VICTOR CHARD CONTRIBUTORS LAURA AND JOSIE CANNONE, PETER CARTER, JORDANA HANDLER, KIMBERLY MOFFIT, STEFANIE PHILLIPS, ALYSON SCHAFER, JOSH WILLIAMS, AGNES WYWROT, JUNE YEE Copyright© 2016 INBETWEEN Magazine.

All rights reserved.

All images, unless otherwise noted, are from iStockphoto and Pexels.

No part of this magazine may be reproduced without the written permission of the publisher.

The publisher accepts no responsibility for advertisers’ claims, unsolicited manuscripts, transparencies or other materials.

FOR ANY QUESTIONS, SUBMISSIONS OR COMMENTS, PLEASE CONTACT INFO@INBETWEEN.CA.

4

JOSH WILLIAMS is a New Orleansbased photographer who has photographed many celebrities including Carmen Electra, Nick Carter and Aubrey O’Day, to name a few. In this issue, he captured the beautiful Vanessa Marano in a different light from her roles on Gilmore Girls and Switched At Birth. “I was trying to bring out a different side of her that her fans had not seen before in a shoot.” Check it out on page 21.

JUNE YEE is a communications professional and writer living in Toronto.

In this issue, she wrote about a new trend that’s seeing public schools across Canada giving teen boys the HPV vaccination. Read why on page 11.

INBETWEEN December & January 2017

From Rachel

EDITOR’S LETTER

PARENTING IS SCARY IT’S NEVER BEEN HARDER to be a teen than it is today. One only needs to turn on the TV to hear horrifying stories about how teens are dying of depression, suicide and fentanyl overdoses; they’re battling bullies and body image issues; and they’re capturing it all on video and social media. In extension, it’s never been harder to be a parent of a teen today, which is why we do this magazine.

In every issue we collect the best guidance, advice and expert opinions to help you navigate the teen years as best as you possibly can.

And what we’ve learned throughout the years is that we’re all in this together—celebrities, families, readers.

Diedrich Bader, our cover personality and star of the new show American Housewife, is terrified for his kids who have just entered teenage hood—especially when it comes to drunk driving and aggressive sexual behaviour.

He spills about it all on page 29.

Another scary thought? One in three HPV cancers happen to men, which is why we’re talking about schools across the country giving PHOTO BY AGNES WYWROT/VYV PHOTOGRAPHIC

our teen boys the HPV vaccination. Don’t miss it on page 11.

While the fast-approaching holiday season might leave some parents in fright, rest assured— we have some great gifts that any teen will love.

Check them out on page 26.

If it’s all just too scary and you need to run away, head to Chicago’s Langham Hotel.

Whether an escape for two or a family getaway, this destination is a must-see. Read about it on page 34.

We hope this issue brings you confidence, inspiration and reassurance, because we’re all in this parenting game together. Until then, enjoy the holidays and your time together. ■

SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS rachel@inbetween.ca December & January 2017 INBETWEEN

5

Raising Dad

December & January 2017 INBETWEEN

6

inFORM

Raising Dad

WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW FOR YOUR TODAY AND THEIR TOMORROW

surviving NEWS BRIEFS

COLD & FLU SEASON

AS COLD AND FLU SEASON RAMPS UP, the Canadian Health Food Association (CHFA) has put together simple and effective tips to help Canadians stay happy and healthy during the winter months. The survey of more than 1,500 Canadians conducted by CHFA revealed that the vast majority (91 per cent) of Canadians believe that their overall health impacts their level of happiness. The same survey also shows that more than half of our population (54 per cent) gets sick most often in the winter. When it comes to feeling better in the winter, the survey revealed that Canadians’ favourite foods to ward off cold and flu and stay happy and healthy include chicken soup/broth (49 per cent), oranges (49 per cent) and tea (48 per cent).

December & January 2017 INBETWEEN

7

news TEENS

DRINKING LESS THAN THEIR PARENTS

According to a survey conducted by the Toronto-based Centre for Addiction and Mental Health in 2015, only 39 per cent of high school students reported drinking in the previous year. While the survey mentions the rate of drinking, unsurprisingly, goes up as students age, only half of students in Grade 12 reported drinking. In 1985, however, when their parents were teens, the rate of teen drinkers was 66 per cent. Throughout the past decade, teen drinking has been on a decline—a trend not just in Canada, but also in the United States, Britain and Australia.

EMOJIS FOR HEALTH Two 17-year-old teens have created an app designed to help teens lead healthier, happier lives. EmojiHealth uses engaging visuals, including infographics, videos and, of course, emojis to get teens to think and talk about their health and wellness. Although the app is still in the prototype phase and not ready for market, teens can send a message on EmojiHealth’s facebook page to get started. Through a conversation on facebook, EmojiHealth will determine if the user has a medical condition or just wants help and motivation to lead healthier, happier lives. From there, the user will receive personalized messages, medical reminders and health tips all in a tone reminiscent of their bff. www.facebook.com/emojihealth

HILLARY TRUMPS DONALD IN TEEN POLL According to an online poll conducted for The New York Times, 22 per cent of teenage girls surveyed said Clinton’s run for presidency has encouraged them to want to be leaders. Meanwhile, after hearing President-elect Trump’s comments about women, 42 per cent of teens said Trump’s comments made them feel worse about their bodies.

8

Ask the Expert

by kimberly moffit

I am worried that my daughter is depressed.

Lately, she’s been really quiet and just keeps to herself in her room. I try to get her to come out with me and do things but she won’t. How do you know if it’s just a phase or if it’s something more?

Kimberly Moffit is one of Canada’s most experienced relationship experts and provides practical advice about parenting and psychological topics. She’s a regular speaker for Queen’s University’s MBA and Women in Leadership Programs, and a frequent lecturer at the University of Waterloo.

TEENS CAN EXHIBIT a whole range of behaviours outside their “norm” when going through adolescence. Some of these behaviours are totally normal, and some demonstrate it might be time to seek help from a professional counsellor or therapist. Research shows that some of the most common symptoms of depression can include isolation, low mood, increased fatigue and feelings of hopelessness.

Since normal teen behaviour can sometimes closely resemble this (and even share some of these symptoms), sometimes it is hard to know when your teen is in trouble and needs help. I’d recommend talking to your daughter (from an honest, open, and loving place) to see how she feels about her current state. There may be external factors that are impacting her mood that you aren’t aware of—mean girls, a failed relationship or even trouble in some of her classes.

In either case, setting up an appointment for your daughter with a counsellor or health professional like a psychotherapist or psychologist, or even your family doctor may allow her to share her feelings with someone who is outside the family structure. Professionals are generally trained to spot symptoms of something more concerning and this may be able to give you peace of mind when it comes to your daughter’s health and safety. Good luck! ■ December & January 2017 INBETWEEN

If you’re not talking to your kids about alcohol, Raising

WHO IS?

Be the Influence.

Kids are exposed to messages about alcohol every day.

As a parent, you are the biggest influence.

Get our free resource guide to help start the conversation.

Find it at: mbll.ca/BetheInfluence

Dad

Boys & HPV

GIVING BOYS A SHOT The HPV vaccine has been readily available for girls across the country through school-based programs. Now, some provinces are pushing for boys to get it too. Here’s why. by june yee

December & January 2017 INBETWEEN

11

EGHAN M. was surprised when the older of her two sons, 11-yearold Alex, came home from school with a consent form required for him to be given the vaccine against human papillomavirus (HPV). “I considered it more of a girls’ issue,” says the Winnipeg-based mom. As a pharmacist working in critical care and a mother of two boys, she says the idea of the HPV vaccine for her son gave her pause. “I did give this one some thought though…because the kind of cancer being talked about didn’t seem that prevalent to me.”

While she was quick to research and learn more about the topic, Meghan’s initial thoughts about HPV vaccination and boys are not unique.

Over the years, since the federal government

12

INBETWEEN December & January 2017

announced specific funding for implementing HPV immunization programs in 2007, all provinces and territories have made the vaccine widely available to girls through a school-based program.

GIVING BOYS A SHOT The story is different when it comes to boys. In September 2016, Manitoba and Ontario became the latest jurisdictions in Canada to offer the HPV vaccine to boys through publicly funded school-based programs. Still, as of November 2016, British Columbia, New Brunswick, Newfoundland and Labrador, Saskatchewan and the territories have yet to expand school-based HPV immunization to include boys.

“There’s miseducation specifically around boys…not realizing that boys have to get this

Boys & HPV

HPV FACTS HPV infection is the most common sexually transmitted disease in Canada and the world.

• While most infections clear within two years and cause no physical symptoms, some infections will lead to cancer.

• Safe sex alone will not fully protect individuals from getting HPV. • There are more than 100 different types of HPV and around 25 types are known or suspected to cause cancer.

• 1 in 3 HPV cancers occur in males.

• The vaccine can prevent HPV cancers in males and females.

• The vaccine works best when given between the ages nine to 15, before the onset of sexual activity, but is approved for use in women ages nine to 45 and men ages nine to 26.

SOURCE: CANADIAN CANCER SOCIETY

[vaccine] not just to protect girls but to protect themselves,” says Heather Kun, executive director of the U.S.-based cancer prevention, detection, and support group FCancer. Among the “Myths about HPV” flagged by the organization as part of its recently launched “Not Us” campaign to raise awareness about vaccines to prevent HPV infections and screening to prevent HPV-associated cancers is that “only girls get HPV so boys don’t have to get the vaccine.”

Kun says another key in the campaign to help decrease HPV prevalence is “changing the perception that this is a vaccine that’s permissive to sex, but rather this is a disease that’s permissive to cancer.”

FCancer will soon introduce a petition in the U.S. toward mandatory vaccination for children entering Grade 7. “While we realize this may not be the most realistic thing, we think it will start that conversation and get legislators talking about it and get people thinking about it,” says Kun. “I do think in the next 10 years it will become mandated.”

CANADIANS AND HPV CANCERS The urgency to increase the uptake of the HPV vaccine is understandable. Statistics released by the Canadian Cancer Society in October show, for the first time, how many Canadians are being affected by HPV cancers: more than 4,000 Canadians will be diagnosed with an HPV cancer and roughly 1,200 Canadians will die from an HPV cancer in 2016. Furthermore, the incidence of HPV mouth and throat cancers increased by 56 per cent among men and 17 per cent among women between 1992 and 2012.

MAKING THE DECISION For her part, Meghan M. advises parents who are facing a decision about vaccination for their children to look to the good research that’s available.

“I’m pro-vaccination from a public health standpoint, and when I understood more about transmission, when I understood more about the consequences, I would not hesitate to do it for my son and, if anyone asked me, to suggest that they do the same.” ■

December & January 2017 INBETWEEN

13

VACCINATION AGAINST HPV

Raising Dad

COULD HAVE PREVENTED MY

CERVICAL

CANCER Help protect yourself with GARDASIL®9 if you’re a woman between the ages of 9 and 45

• Cervical cancer is the 3rd most common cancer in Canadian women 20-40 years of age • HPV is the leading cause of cervical cancer and genital warts • It is estimated that 75% of sexually active Canadians will have at least one HPV infection during their lifetime

Ask your healthcare professional about GARDASIL®9 GARDASIL9.ca In girls and women ages 9 to 45, GARDASIL®9 helps protect against cervical, vaginal, and vulvar cancers caused by HPV types 16, 18, 31, 33, 45, 52 and 58, abnormal and precancerous vaginal and vulvar lesions caused by HPV types 6, 11, 16, 18, 31, 33, 45, 52 and 58, abnormal and precancerous cervical lesions as found in a Pap test caused by HPV types 6, 11, 16, 18, 31, 33, 45, 52, and 58, and genital warts caused by HPV types 6 and 11. GARDASIL®9 does not treat HPV infection. GARDASIL®9 may not fully protect each person who gets it. GARDASIL®9 does not remove the need for cervical cancer screening; women should still get routine cervical cancer screening. GARDASIL®9 is not recommended for use in pregnant women. Like all vaccines, GARDASIL®9 may cause some side effects and allergic reactions. The most common side effects seen with GARDASIL®9 are pain, swelling, redness, itching, bruising, bleeding, a lump where the shot is given, headache, fever, nausea, dizziness, tiredness, diarrhea, abdominal pain and sore throat. Contact your doctor or healthcare professional to see if GARDASIL®9 is right for you.

HPV=human papillomavirus

Merck Sharp & Dohme Corp. Used under license. © 2016 Merck Canada Inc. All rights reserved.

®

December & January 2017 INBETWEEN

14

Brain development

THE WAY THEY’RE

WIRED The teenage years can be especially trying because they take risks, they show poor judgment and exhibit lousy decision-making skills. But it may actually not be their fault. Understanding the teen brain and its development is imperative for parents so they can get through the teen years with their own mind in tact.

Here’s what you need to know. by alyson schafer

December & January 2017 INBETWEEN

15

ONE

DAY, I strolled into the kitchen to find my 14-year-old daughter cutting a piece of cheese on the counter top with a sharp knife. I think I could feel the sharp blade scoring my pristine counter top as if she was cutting my own skin. WHAAAA!?? I take great pride in how adept my kids are in the kitchen.

From a young age, they were trained to use the gas stove and microwave with great care. They were becoming quite the cooks and bakers. So what the heck was she thinking scratching up my counters like that?

Oh right; thinking. Hmmmm I forgot—she’s 14 now. As a family therapist who understands the developmental changes in adolescence, I was reminded that we were entering a new phase. This was not disrespect or laziness.

This was simply a case of poor judgment and decision-making because her brain had begun a distinct phase called neuronal pruning, but to lay people it’s best just to imagine her cranium had a big piece of yellow hazard tape wrapped around it saying “under construction.”

You see, we have fairly new information about brain development. Up until the invention of MRI (magnetic resonance imaging) machines, we didn’t have a full picture of the events that take place in the brain as it grows, develops and ages. We had long understood that the brain does the vast majority of its growth in early childhood. Just to throw some impressive numbers around: from birth to age

16

INBETWEEN December & January 2017

three, a child is making 700 new neural connections a second! That first spurt is followed by a steady decline, however, we now know that there is a surprising second wave of brain development.

“From birth to age 3, a child is making 700 new neural connections a second!”

NEW GROWTH PHASE Just prior to puberty, the brain enters a new growth phase, where it lays down the grey matter or the “working tissue” of the brain. I like to think of this as the “MacGyver Brain”—a real firecracker, ready to connect ideas and solve problems. It’s a bit like feast before the famine.

This second and final stage of brain development begins around age 16 or 17, and isn’t complete until well into early adulthood, peaking at around age 25. This phase of development includes neuronal pruning with the brain taking shape, like the trimming of a bonsai plant. The brain starts out with a connection or road to every town on the map. It matures by pruning these connections because you can move information a lot faster if you build a super highway around the connections that are well used, and diminish the links to the shanty towns that don’t see much traffic. The brain takes a “use it or

Brain development

“Until the executive functions mature, it is as if the teen brain lacks a full set of brakes. It is all go, go, go!” lose it” approach to this reconfiguration. For example, if you don’t play the violin, your brain doesn’t need a connection to the part that controls the related neural pathways.

The areas of the brain that develop last are those responsible for the most complex activities: the so called “executive functions” that are the centre for reasoning, working memory, inhibition, impulse control and apparently the elusive judgment to use a cutting board for cutting cheese on a countertop.

RISK-TAKERS Until the executive functions mature, it is as if the teen brain lacks a full set of brakes. It is all go, go, go! In this way, teens are primed for risk-taking. They may judge risk accurately, but the lack of brakes causes them to take risks anyways. This makes evolutionary sense. Think of the little baby bird being coaxed by its parents to take its first flight. You have to be a bit nutsy to jump from the edge of the nest and try flying for the first time, don’t you think? It takes guts to go to college, live in residence, start a job and all the other challenges of independence and emancipation from parents. Overriding fear with raw courage has a biological root. But it can also lead to unwanted consequences if

we don’t manage the process well.

Your child will want to seek excitement.

They want to be adult-like, but they don’t yet have the maturity. Interestingly, youth report that it is largely boredom that drives them to drink and behave foolishly. So, as parents, we have a challenge: helping to navigate our kids through the teen years involves steering them toward appropriate thrill-seeking activities. What does that look like? It depends on your teen. If they love music, it could be playing guitar or singing at an open mic café.

If they are athletic, it could be engaging in a sport like hang gliding. Travelling and taking courses abroad in another country might also be excitingly scary.

Most importantly, we need to ensure our kids don’t lazily channel their thrill-seeking tendencies into drinking. For a full discussion on preventing underage drinking and how to talk to teens, see my Family Talk series on youtube.com/user/AlysonSchaferVideos.You might try watching them with your teens to help open the door to conversations about alcohol.

Scored counter tops aren’t good but times like these are good reminders that our kids are growing up and we can help them with informed parenting. ■ December & January 2017 INBETWEEN

17

insight

Raising Dad

ADVICE AND INSIGHT FROM EXPERIENCED PARENTS

TMI! RAISING DAD

Mother Nature must have had teenagers because she knew enough to create secrets. by peter carter

18

INBETWEEN December & January 2017

Raising Dad

of us were in the minivan. I was driving, my 20-year-old daughter Ev was riding shotgun. Her twin sister, Ria, brother Michel and my wife, Helena, sat behind. We were enroute to Halifax from our Toronto home and nearing the Quebec village with the best name of any place in Canada, Saint-Louis-Du-Ha! Ha! And even though it was a hot August morning, we didn’t need A/C. The van was cooled with what you might describe as the “post-argument chill.”

We still had a day’s drive ahead of us and I think we were all dreading it. The mood sucked all the joy out of what should have been an adventure.

Ev to the rescue.

Just telling you about Ev makes me use a word I’ve never typed before. Empath. She reads people’s feelings with the same precision that her uncle Ed deciphers the “What’s On Tap” menu.

I could sense she was hard at work improving everybody’s demeanor.

Step One: Re-engineer the atmosphere. With iPod in hand, she manipulated the vehicle’s entertainment system and carefully selected music that soothed our savage selves. Grocery stores have used this technique for years to get you more receptive to spending.

I could feel the tension easing. And after a few miles, she said—softly—“Mom and Dad…you know how sometimes I tell you about something I’ve done afterwards because it’s better than telling you before???”

For the first time in four hours, Helena and I agreed on something.

She continued: “Have you ever heard of the

Naked Bike Ride for the Environment? I rode in it this summer.”

We suddenly weren’t thinking about whatever we’d been arguing about.

When nobody’s standing behind you, Google Naked Bike Ride. Every year, thousands of cyclists around the world strip off and somehow prove to the world by doing so that we should be less dependent on fossil fuels. I’m not sure I get the connection, but still.

In Toronto, the ride starts near the shore of Lake Ontario and winds about 4.5 clicks north through the crowded streets of Canada’s most populated city until the bikes reach Queen’s Park—Ontario’s

PETER’S

ALL FIVE

5

NEED TO KNOWS

1. The age of anybody your teen is dating, give or take two years. More than two years either way is a red flag; 2. Where your teen’s date money came from. This just seems really relevant for some reason; 3. If, during the course of the date, your teenager had any contact with cops or school authorities that requires followup on your part; 4. Which parent had “The Talk” with the teen and if you’re sure “it took”; 5. Whether the teen’s cell will be on or not.

December & January 2017 INBETWEEN

19

Raising Dad

PETER’S

legislative seat.

Which brings us to Helena’s immediate response: “Whose bike were you riding?” For some reason my mind went there too.

Ev: “Nick’s.” (Ewww.. We know and like Nick.

I wish we hadn’t asked.)

Helena: “Suppose somebody took pictures.

Might end up on Facebook.”

Ev: “Already has. But you can’t tell it’s me.

I was wearing a wig.”

We are not a naked family. In fact, for some of us, it’s the opposite. I told Ria the other day—and whether she believed me or not remains to be seen—that I chose not to be a professional athlete for the simple reason that I don’t like showering with other men.

I should also mention that neither do we have anything against Ev riding naked through the streets of Toronto. She’s mature, smarter and more sensible than my wife and I put together and, in fact, we’re proud of her independent spirit.

I’m also very proud of her honesty. And now that the she’d successfully thawed the icy silence in the car, the talk moved along to other issues, such

5 DON’T

NEED TO KNOWS

20 INBETWEEN December & January 2017

as whether, when I was her age, I would have told my folks that I rode my bike naked.

The answer’s a loud-and-clear nope.

I don’t know about you, but when I was in high school or university, for that matter, I never talked to my mom or dad about my social life unless I was trying to get something from them or out of deep trouble.

I’m grateful teens today are far more open with their parents than any generation in history. I happen to think this new open-ness is a wonderful and healthy trend.

There are things about your teens—especially your dating teens—that you’ll want to keep tabs on, but there are others (and I urge you to share this list with the teenagers in your life) social-life details moms and dads will be just as happy to go to their graves not knowing. Mother Nature invented secrets for a good reason. She was, after all, a mother.

She knew what she was doing. ■ Peter has four brothers, four sisters, one wife, two daughters and a son, the last three of which all recently graduated from teenagehood with all their limbs and sanity intact.

1. What your teen actually said or heard on the date; 2. Any interaction with police or school authorities that requires no followup on anybody’s part; 3. How much anybody had to drink so long as it didn’t involve a trip to the hospital; 4. Who barfed into what receptacle; 5. Whose bike they sat on naked.

Other than that, I think they’re good to go.

10 Minutes With...

10 MINUTES WITH

Vanessa Marano by inbetween staff photography josh williams hair & makeup valerie noble wardrobe styling jenny dayco

JOSHWILLIAMSPHOTOGRAPHY.COM VALERIENOBLE.COM JENNYDAYCO.COM

Vanessa Marano dishes about her role in the Gilmore Girls Revival, being a young woman in Hollywood and why it’s so important to have her parents’ support.

December & January 2017 INBETWEEN

21

10 Minutes With...

EFIANTLY AMBITIOUS, at the early age of eight, Vanessa Marano knew she wanted to be an actor. This talented young lady, spoke to INBETWEEN about her ability to face setbacks, taking risks and being willing to fail. We wondered what it must have been like for her parents to watch her enter a challenging industry where rejection reigns supreme and where she was catapulted into fierce competition competing against her own peers—and sister— for that one breakthrough role.

How did you get into acting?

I got into acting when I was eight years old in children’s theatre. I wanted to get into acting, professionally, but my mom didn’t want me to. She had been in the industry for quite a bit and she said that it’s a difficult industry for women; that children actors give up their childhood for a lot of things; and she didn’t want to drive me to auditions.

After a while, she got tired of me begging her, so she looked up an agent that she heard turned child actors down. But then the agent took me, which [my mom] was not expecting… and then [my mom] was really not expecting [the agent] to take my five-year-old sister, who had just come along for the ride. So, it all backfired on my mother and that’s how I got into acting. Fifteen years later, it looks like we made the right decision—in her face!

22

INBETWEEN December & January 2017

What would be your advice to parents who don’t necessarily agree with their teen’s choice in a career?

I think, as a parent, you can never be too weary of anything. I think it’s always good to tell your child about the potential negative outcomes with anything that they want to do because my mom had some excellent points about the acting industry being tough for women, that it’s a hard industry for a child to be in—especially a teenager. I had to make a lot of choices in my life about what was important to me and I definitely had to give up certain things in order to put acting first.

But this never stopped me. I never gave it a

10 Minutes With...

second thought. So, I think if your kid is saying, “this is what I want to do and I’m willing to give things up for it and am willing to put the hard work in”—as long as they’re not hurting themselves or anyone else around them—then you eventually have to be supportive of that.

What would you say is the biggest challenge for young women in Hollywood?

We still face a lot of sexism in the industry today. Specifically, as an actor, I think that it’s very much based on your physical appearance, unfortunately. There are still so many roles where it is more dependent on you having a bikini body or auditioning for a character that doesn’t have anything to say other than she’s there to be the girlfriend of the guy at the end of the movie.

For women writers and directors, it is very hard but it’s changing. It’s a very exciting time for women to be a part of this industry right now. There are so many women that are executives now and in positions of power where they can help other women. I think that’s what empowers change: when women who have experienced things and have gotten themselves to a position of power help other women. That’s when equality exists.

The Gilmore Girls Revival is coming up, which is super exciting. What’s in store for April in the revival?

We get to see April graduating college and how she fits in with Luke, Lorelai and the life they’ve all created with each other.

Can you comment on April’s relationship with Luke and Anna, April’s parents on the show?

April has a very good relationship with both of them. It was great to be back and working with Scott, which is very exciting. And I just liked the dynamic of April and Luke, because as father and daughter, they could not be more different people if they tried.

Why do you think Gilmore Girls, a show about a mother and daughter, has such mass appeal?

Gilmore Girls is a show with two strong, interesting, funny and loving female characters. I think it was great to see a positive relationship between a mother and her daughter, who aren’t fighting all the time, and have that in contrast with a relationship with a mother and daughter, like Lorelai and Emily, who were both very different people and were always at each other’s throats.

Your mom can be your best friend but she can also be the bane of your existence. That’s why this show is so great. It also casts women working really hard, working to get into the ivy league and working to become her own boss, start a business, own a business with her female friend and doing all of that as a single mother.

This is the only show I can think of where education and owning your own business are in the main storyline, which is portrayed as being just as important as the romantic storyline.

Let’s switch to Switched at Birth, which comes out in January. Can you give us any hints as to what’s in store for your character, Bae? December & January 2017 INBETWEEN

23

“It’s a very exciting time for women to be a part of this industry right now.”

December & January 2017 INBETWEEN

24

10 Minutes With...

This season, we’re picking up from when the girls came back from China. They got that phone call at the end of last season, saying that they had to come back. So we get that big reveal in the first episode of the new season as to why they had to travel all the way back to Kansas City. It’s been nine months since the finale, so there’s a lot to pick up with where we left off. We’ve seen her street art, get into art school and try to take classes, but that didn’t work out for her. This season, we’re seeing where she’s venturing off, career-wise, in the world of tattoos.

Why do you think it’s great for teens to see a show that includes the deaf community?

As someone who didn’t know anything about the deaf community until Switched at Birth, it’s interesting to see a community that’s right under your nose but don’t necessarily know anything about because it’s outside of your own little bubble. And then, for all the people that were already immersed in that community—I think it was really nice to see their community portrayed on television. I had so many girls come up to me and say, “I want to be an interpreter because of Switched at Birth.” I think that’s a wonderful thing, knowing that this is a career choice, all of a sudden.

So your sister, Laura, is an actress as well. Is there any sibling rivalry when it comes to roles?

Not at all. Laura and I have auditioned for the same roles for 15 years now. If anything,

it’s actually really nice to have a sibling in the industry because I feel like no one else knows what it’s like, other than my sister. I wouldn’t have it any other way. I feel like she’s my partner in crime.

How would you say that your parents help you both stay grounded?

I think that it helps that my dad is not in the industry. It’s nice to have someone outside of the industry, looking in, because it makes me realize, “OK, there’s another world out there. It’s not all just the entertainment industry.” It also helps that my mom was in the industry, because it’s nice to have somebody who understood it, wasn’t new to it and could take it at face value.

Why do you think it’s important for teens to have their parents’ support?

Parents really need to offer a support system for their kids, which can be hard for a parent because you have to teach your kids to make the right decisions but you also have to be there for them when they’re struggling. I think that makes all the difference to people in the world when they feel that they have a support system from their parents, because at the end of the day, those are the first people in your life who are taking care of you and that feeling of nurturing never goes away. ■ TUNE IN: Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life streams on Netflix Nov. 25. Switched at Birth returns to Freeform on Tues Jan 31 at 9/8c.

December & January 2017 INBETWEEN

25

inSPIRE

Raising Dad

LIVING YOUR BEST LIFE

GIFTS THEY’LL Do you have a teen techie in your home?

What about a budding fashionista? A teenage trendsetter? We’ve got you covered with a selection of gifts sure to please any teen. by jordana handler and stefanie phillips

26

December & January 2017 INBETWEEN

26

Gift Guide

girls FASHION MEETS PHOTOGRAPHY IN THIS CREATIVE GIFT. Michael Kors x FUJI Film InstaX Camera, $149, michaelkors.com.

SHOW HER SHE’S ONE OF A KIND. Kate Spade New York “One in a Million” Pendant Letter Necklace, $64, thebay.com FOR THOSE COZY DAYS AT HOME. Fur slouch Booties $45, indigo.ca

A QUIRKY STOCKING STUFFER SHE’LL LOVE. Gold Safety Pin Earrings, $5, brandymelvilleusa.com

PRETTY JEWELRY WITH AN IMPORTANT MESSAGE. Bangle bracelet, $20, shebelieved.com

A FUN WAY TO BRIGHTEN UP HER ROOM. Modern Marquee Letter, $29, urbanoutfitters.com

THIS SPEAKER COMES IN A SET WITH MATCHING OVER-THE-EAR BEATS HEADPHONES (NOT PICTURED). The Beats by Dr. Dre Pill 2.0 portable speaker, $449.95, bestbuy.ca

SO SHE CAN LISTEN TO HER MUSIC AND STILL LOOK GOOD. Headphones $60, hm.com

December & January 2017 INBETWEEN

27

A PORTABLE SPEAKER THAT’S GREAT FOR PARTIES. JBL Speaker $220, indigo.ca

boys

DESIGNER JEWELRY WITH SERIOUS COOL FACTOR. Caroline Neron Bracelet, $125, carolineneron.com THIS MINI VERSION OF THE CLASSIC IS PRE-LOADED WITH 30 GAMES. NES Classic Edition, $80, ebgames.ca

THE PERFECT PUFFY PARKA FOR WINTER. Kenzo X H&M Men’s leather jacket, $399, hm.com

A FUN CAMERA THAT RECORDS VIDEO AND MORE. Polaroid Cube Lifestyle HD Action Camera $150, thebay.com SO HE CAN GET HIS ZEN ON IN STYLE. GAIAM Cargo Yoga Mat $33, thebay.com

A COOL ADDITION TO ANY DORM ROOM. Marshall Bar Fridge, $300, bestbuy.ca

28

HE’LL LOVE THE NEWEST EDITION OF THIS SMARTPHONE. The Alcatel Idol 4, $300, alcatelonetouch.ca/idol-4

Brand, Price Tktktktk Tktk Tktktktktkt

Diedrich Bader

BEST ROLE

EVER COVER STORY

American Housewife’s Diedrich Bader chats about the reality of his new sitcom and being a dad on and off the screen. by rachel naud ©ABC STUDIOS / CRAIG SJODIN

December & January 2017 INBETWEEN

29

plenty of practice. He has two kids—Sebastian, 13, and Odine, 11. Bader sat down with INBETWEEN to chat about American Housewife, being a dad and how parenthood is about to get real as he embarks on a new phase— teenage hood.

ON

CTV’s new sitcom, American Housewife, Diedrich Bader plays Greg Otto, a downto-earth dad who loves his wife and supports his kids—a role that Bader says is the closest character to his actual self that he has ever played.

“It’s really fun for me because I don’t have to constantly be thinking about how a character would think,” says Bader. “I just show up with my lines memorized and do them as I, myself, would say them.”

When it comes to playing dad, Bader has

30 INBETWEEN

December & January 2017 © CROWN MEDIA UNITED STATES, LLC, PHOTOGRAPHER KATIE YU.

AMERICA’S NEW HOUSEWIFE When it comes to family comedies, American Housewife is added to an already established roster that includes the likes of The Middle, The Goldbergs, black-ish and more. While viewers may not think there’s room for yet another family-based sitcom, American Housewife brings a dose of reality to the small screen not often portrayed in other shows.

“I think American Housewife really digs into the idea that parenting is obviously really difficult, and there can be resentment that parents feel about having to do their job that they got themselves into,” says Bader. “I think it has a healthy approach towards that feeling and that it’s OK to feel that way at certain times. That’s sort of refreshing. One of the things that I really like about the show is, that ©ABC STUDIOS / CRAIG SJODIN

Diedrich Bader

A full-time mom is an incredibly hard job. Greg can provide enough that they can do that but they’re just scraping by.”

Katy Mixon (Mike & Molly, Eastbound & Down) plays Katie Otto, who takes the lead on raising the kids; however, Bader Diedrich Bader as Greg Otto says his character, Greg, is on American happy to take the role of supHousewife porting spouse and parent.

“He’s a good father. He really listens to his kids,” Bader says. “A lot of what parenting is at this point with kids who have free will (which is totally overrated in my opinion) is balancing out their inherent rights with your job as a parent to make sure they are going in the right direcsaid, the Ottos aren’t trying to duck out of tion. Maintaining authority and listening at the parenting duties. They really love their kids.”

American Housewife is about Greg and same time is always complicated. I think Greg Katie Otto, two middle-class parents trying manages to do that very well.” to raise their three children in the affluent neighbourhood of Westport, Connecticut. PLAYING DAD OFF THE SCREEN While the area is comprised of cookie-cutter, At home, Bader is in the midst of navigating athletic yoga pants-wearing moms and their the tween and teen years with his own kids. perfect offspring, the Ottos are just trying to He says he takes a parenting cue from his keep their heads above water and do right by character, Greg, when it comes to really listheir kids. tening to his children.

“I would say the Otto family is about as “I try to listen as much as I can and underfunctional as any family can be,” says Bader. stand their frustrations,” says Bader. “A boy “They are very blessed by the opportunity to and girl are so incredibly different. But both have a mother that can be a full-time mom. of them want to be listened to. They both just

“They are very blessed by the opportunity to have a mother that can be a full-time mom. A full-time mom is an incredibly hard job.”

©ABC STUDIOS / MICHAEL DESMOND

December & January 2017 INBETWEEN

31

On set of American Housewife: Diedrich Bader and Katy Mixon.

want to be respected for their opinions.”

Bader says one of the best things they do as a family to keep the communication open is having dinners together on a regular basis, wherein they discuss the highs and lows of their kids’ days.

“My wife and I barely talk during dinner because our kids tell us all about their day,” he says. “We sit until everybody’s done, even if they have finished their meal. My son, at first, is like any guy. If you ask him about his day, he just wants to say ‘good.’ You have to draw him out and it takes a little more work. But once he gets warmed up, he remembers almost as many details as my daughter. For my daughter, of course, everyday is a novel. It’s unbelievable how many details she remembers.”

LOOKING AHEAD As his kids grow older, Bader says one of the

32

INBETWEEN December & January 2017

biggest rewards of parenting is seeing what takes. After years of exposing their children to art, music and museums, Bader says he’s excited to see how his children will shape their own aesthetic.

“I’m interested to see where they are going with it and who they develop into. They’re just really starting to bloom as students and are getting into things they are genuinely interested in and not things that we’re interested in and bring them to,” he says. “So I’m really interested to see which way they are going to go with the things they really like.”

THE SCARY STUFF While parenting teens is a rewarding experience, Bader says it also comes with its own set of worries.

As his kids enter into the teenage years, Bader says one of his biggest concerns is having ©ABC STUDIOS / RON TOM

Diedrich Bader

his kids get into a car with a drunk driver.

“I worry about it a lot because I know when I was a teenager, a lot of my friends were not entirely sober when I got in a car with them,” he admits. “I think back in horror about things I was like “whatever” about. I’m sort of terrified about that prospect.”

While Bader says the kids are too young to have that conversation, he says he tries to show them the right thing by leading by example when it comes to drinking and driving.

“If we go for dinner and I have a couple of glasses of wine, my wife doesn’t drink so she’s the one who drives home,” he says. “I don’t drink around my kids on a regular basis.

When we go on vacation, I’ll have wine or beer of the local area to show them that it’s not forbidden. But all things in moderation.”

POLITICS AND SEX Growing up in a political family, the presidential debates were always a topic of conversation at home. Today, Bader says this year’s debates have led his family to have a serious chat about sexual aggression.

“This issue of harassment has come up in a very real way because of the debates and recent revelations about one of the candidates,” says Bader. “It has opened up the dialogue that we have about respect for others and the respect we have for ourselves. It’s in the news almost every day. So we saw it as an opportunity to talk about something that could come up fairly soon.”

DEALING WITH CONFLICT Any parent of a teen can attest that raging hormones, coupled with a brain that’s not fully developed, can lead to some real teenage blowouts. When this happens, Bader admits sometimes the best thing you can do in a heated moment is to just walk away.

“Sometimes they say things that are offensive, which they both mean and don’t mean,” he says.

“The best thing you can do in that moment is to walk away. Remember, you’re not talking to a fully-fledged brain. If an adult said it, you would get into an argument. With a kid, they’re just figuring out how to do things. They’re not able to calculate risk analysis. So in times of conflict, you just need to calm down and pick it up later.”

To keep the peace, open communication is a must, says Bader who adds his dinnertime ritual with them is a great way to keep an open dialogue with his family. He says he’s also having fun sharing his work on American Housewife with his kids.

“I can actually watch it with my family,” he says. “If anything, it shows them what stay-athome moms go through and they can see their own mom’s perspective. They’ve not been able to watch other shows I have been on because they bring up too much grownup stuff. If I were to let them watch Office Space, I would have a lot of explaining to do.” ■ Tune In: AMERICAN HOUSEWIFE airs Saturdays at 8:30pm ET/PT on CTV (Check CTV.ca for local listings) / Tuesdays at 8:30pm ET/PT on ABC.

December & January 2017 INBETWEEN

33

inDULGE

FOSTERING YOUR HEALTH, BODY AND RELATIONSHIP

COMFORT MEETS LUXURY IN

chicago The Langham Hotel is an ideal destination for a couple’s getaway or a family vacay. by rachel naud

34

Family Travel

Travelle restaurant

THE

VIEWS FROM the 12th floor of

Chicago’s Langham Hotel are nothing short of spectacular. The panoramic picture of one of America’s most architecturally stunning cities, coupled with the winding Chicago River and vast Lake Michigan is so mesmerizing that one can while away a morning simply sipping a coffee, enjoying the sights and striking up a conversation with other club members staying at the Langham Hotel. The casual vibe in this luxurious setting is what entices visitors worldwide to stay at the hotel, which is perfect for either a romantic getaway for two or a family vacation with your teen.

WHERE IT IS Located in the heart of Chicago on North Wabash Ave, the hotel is within walking distance of many of the city’s main attractions, including Millennium Park (home of the famous ‘Bean’), the Magnificent Mile (a shopper’s dream) and the historic Navy Pier (perfect for a day of fun with the family).

THE LANGHAM CLUB For an extra $100 per person/per day, any visitor can be part of the Langham Club. While families travelling with teens might think this privilege will break the travel budget, there is good news—children 17 and younger are complimentary. But, whether you’re travelling as a duo or experiencing a family getaway, the extra money is well worth it.

Privileges that come with a club stay include private registration at arrival and departure, a delicious breakfast buffet, all-day refreshments and evening cocktails and appetizers. For those who like to read and/or work with a view, the writer’s corner in the 3,000 square-foot lounge is fitted with a small library of books as well as two computer workstations. In addition, families can book their own private movie theatre where they can enjoy a selection of family-friendly flicks that the hotel has on-site. And that’s not even the best part.

Hands down, one of the most luxurious December & January 2017 INBETWEEN

35

36

Infinity master bedroom; Chuan pool and dreamroom.

36

Family Travel

CHICAGO

CHECKLIST

For an unforgettable trip, don’t miss the following:

❑ THE SHEDD AQUARIUM. The largest indoor aquarium in the world, with more than 8,000 aquatic animals, the Shedd Aquarium boasts everything from tropical fish to dolphins and beluga whales. sheddaquarium.org ❑ THE NAVY PIER. A Chicago landmark, the Navy Pier was originally used for shipping. Today, it is a tourist hotspot complete with shops, restaurants, rides and more. navypier.com ❑ MILLENNIUM PARK. This public park in the heart of Chicago is the perfect place for people-watching and, of course, getting a selfie with the famed “Bean.”

It’s also an ideal destination to check out exhibits, concerts, architecture and more. cityofchicago.org ❑ ARCHITECTURE CRUISE. Chicago is home to some of the world’s finest architecture. For a glimpse of the city’s stunning buildings and to get an overview of what made Chicago famous as the birthplace of the skyscraper, don’t miss this 75-minute historical lesson down the Chicago River. shorelinesightseeing.com/ architecture-tours/ ❑ GIORDANO’S PIZZA. The wait is long but well worth it once you dig into this delicious deep dish. With locations all over Chicago, Giordano’s regularly tops the Best Pizza Lists with its filling, indulgent pies. giordanos.com

aspects of the Langham Club is that it comes with a personalized butler service. These poised and helpful professionals are there to ensure your stay is perfect, offering up exclusive services such as figuring out your travel times and logistics, helping with luggage repairs and even drawing you a warm bath after a day of walking in the windy city.

THE AMENITIES Whether you’re part of the club or not, visitors have access to all of the Langham’s amenities including a 67-foot swimming pool, hot tub, health club and Chuan Spa. Fitness enthusiasts can start their day in a group exercise class or sweat it out solo on one of the onsite gym’s 28 cardio and strength-training machines.

After a good workout, soak those muscles in the luxurious hot tub or treat yourself to a signature massage at the Chuan Spa. THE ROOMS You can’t help but be impressed by the suites at the Langham, which are ideal for families. The Classic Suite offers up privacy and convenience with a living room fitted with a large TV, pullout couch/bed and sitting area. In the adjoining room, the over-sized master bedroom has a sink-into soft king-sized bed, large TV and is attached to the master bathroom, which is as luxurious as they come.

Whether a romantic getaway for two or a memory-making family vacay, the Langham Chicago will surely inspire. But be prepared: when your stay is up, it’ll be hard to say goodbye to this home away from home. ■ December & January 2017 INBETWEEN

37

SPECIAL ADVERTISING FEATURE

bestspa HOW TO PICK THE

FOR YOUR CHILD’S PARTY

8 things to look for when booking a spa birthday party for your child. by laura and josie cannone

December & January 2017 INBETWEEN

38

SPECIAL ADVERTISING FEATURE

Party Planning

spa parties AND DRESS UP companies and places for little girls have been all the rage over the past eight years. I would consider Glama Gals experts in the field, as we are the original pioneers of this concept. We actually created the term “ Tween Spa”. It is important that parents realize that while one company maybe cheaper than another, they may be cutting corners in order to be “cheap”. Those cutting of the corners can, in essence, put your child’s safety at risk.

Based on our expertise in this field and having opened nine successful Glama Gal Tween Spa and party places to-date, we have gathered knowledge on what to look for when booking a spa party.

I would also like to point that over the past two years, I have tried to work with local health boards to legislate mobile spa party services that come to your home and have not been successful. I hope this blog post will bring this to their attention so that they are inspected as much as brick and mortar spas are.

1.

If you found and ad on kijiji for a spa party company that comes to your home on kijiji and they have a gmail, hotmail etc. email address and no website. Who are you letting in your home? Are they recommended?

2.

If they have a website and look a bit professional and are asking you for a cash or e-mail money transfer for payment or deposit. What if they cancel? How will you get your deposit back? All you have is their e-mail address and cellphone number. Also all they accept is cash and you don’t get a formal receipt… chances are they aren’t reporting their sales to the government. From one taxpayer to another that is NOT KOSHER.

3.

Do they have a brick and mortar facility or are they travelling house to house? If they don’t have a location, they are not being health inspected. Which brings me to my next question: How are those manicure bowls and pedicure bowls being sanitized? What about the robes they are putting on your child and their friends? If they aren’t being inspected, chances are they aren’t following proper health procedures. They probably don’t even know the rules and procedure to follow. After all, who’s there to legislate it?

4.

If you are going to a brick and mortar facility that offers spa parties, look for a local health department pass on the front door. If they don’t have it chances are they have never been inspected.

December & January 2017 INBETWEEN

39

SPECIAL ADVERTISING FEATURE

5.

If your child is going to a spa party, make sure that all items used on them are one-time use and disposed of: nail files, make-up applicators and brushes. While this an expense for a business and this is why Glama Gal Spa Parties are a bit pricier than other companies. This is the only way we ensure there is no contamination and that your child’s health is our first priority.

6.

Ask about the products they are using on your child during a spa party. Are they using all-natural nail polish that is 5-free—meaning no dibutyl phthalate, toluene, formaldehyde, formaldehyde resin and camphor. The last thing you want to have on your child and her friends’ nails is a dollar store no name brand of nail polish.

7.

If they are using robes on your child, ask how they are washed and if they are washed after each use. Glama Gals has hundreds of robes at each location to ensure robes are never re-used and washed after each use.

40 INBETWEEN December & January 2017

8.

Look for reviews, testimonials etc. on the company’s Facebook page. You know those are coming from real people. We can all slap a whole bunch of great reviews on our website. Facebook is great as you can see they are coming from real people. Chances are they have put a pic or two up as well! Another great tool is Instagram—insert the name of the company in a search and see what pops up.

Chances are you will see a whole bunch of pictures from parents and children that have used their services.

The saying is true—you get what you pay for.

Make the safe and right decision. ■

For more information contact: GlamaGals Spa at info@glamagalparty.com

Raising Dad

December & January 2017 INBETWEEN

41

Final Thrill

let it snow Winter may be cold but try and embrace the beauty it brings.

December & January 2017 INBETWEEN

42

YOUR TODAY. THEIR TOMORROW.

Raising Dad

THANK YOU FOR READING! Get a year’s worth of INBETWEEN for just $8.99! Easier to find than ever, INBETWEEN is available for download in the Kobo store, Kindle Amazon store and on inbetween.ca!

Get your subscription today!

NOW AVAILABLE EXCLUSIVELY ON:

43 & January 2017 INBETWEEN FOR PARENTS CAUGHT IN THE MIDDLEDecember OF RAISING A TEEN & YOUNG ADULT