October & November 2016

FOR PARENTS CAUGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF RAISING A TEEN & YOUNG ADULT

WIN A STAY IN

OCTOBER/NOVEMBER 2016

RAISING A STAR

CANCUN!

DISNEY SENSATION LAURA MARANO’S ADVICE FOR PARENTS RAISING ASPIRING ACTORS

LIVING WITH JUVENILE ARTHRITIS

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WHY A

GLOBAL EDUCATION IS GOOD FOR YOUR TEEN

WAYS TO STOP OVERPARENTING October & November 2016 INBETWEEN

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inbetween OCTOBER & NOVEMBER 2016

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INSIGHT

WORDLY WONDER

8 RAISING DAD Parenting by the

seat of your helicopter 12 10 MINUTES WITH...

Thriller writer Linwood Barclay

INFORM 15 HEALTH & LIFE NEWS

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BABY BACKLASH

18 ASK THE EXPERT Kimberly

Moffit on how to deal with your teens drinking at home 19 WORDLY WONDER The

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benefits of a global education 24 OUT OF JOINT How juvenile

arthritis is affecting teens 27 FIVE WAYS TO STOP OVERPARENTING How it’s sending

OUT OF JOINT: JUVENILE ARTHRITIS

our teens the wrong message

INSPIRE 30 DISNEY STAR LAURA MARANO

on supporting your child’s entertainment career

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ASK THE EXPERT: HOW TO DEAL WITH DRINKING AT HOME COVER PHOTO BY JOSH WILLIAMS

INDULGE 34 THE ROYAL TREATMENT

Palace Resorts in Cancun have something to please everyone 38 FINAL THRILL

Fall for nights in

October & November 2016 INBETWEEN

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th Celebrating our 40 year!

STILL ACCEPTING APPLICATIONS FOR 2016/17

• 14 ONTARIO SCHOOLS • INTERNATIONAL HIGH SCHOOL CREDIT PROGRAMS • ONLINE COURSES • FLEXIBLE SCHEDULES • AVERAGE CLASS SIZE OF SEVEN

Online courses starting at $495 Full year tuition starting at under $10,000 SEE WHAT BLYTH ACADEMY CAN DO FOR YOUR CHILD. WWW.BLYTHACADEMY.CA • 416-960-3552 • INFO@BLYTHEDUCATION.COM

Meet the Team OCTOBER & NOVEMBER 2016

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

RACHEL NAUD ART DIRECTOR

CAROLINE BISHOP FASHION EDITOR

JORDANA HANDLER

Contributors ANGELA SEREDNICKI is a lifestyle journalist living in Toronto.

On page 24, she writes about juvenile arthritis and how it can affect your teen physically and psychologically.

WEBSITE MANAGER

VICTOR CHARD CONTRIBUTORS

PETER CARTER, JORDANA HANDLER, SAMANTHA KEMP-JACKSON, KIMBERLY MOFFIT, STEFANIE PHILLIPS, ANGELA SEREDNICKI, AGNES WYWROT Copyright© 2016 INBETWEEN Magazine.

All rights reserved.

All images, unless otherwise noted, are from iStockphoto and Pexels.

No part of this magazine may be reproduced without the written permission of the publisher.

The publisher accepts no responsibility for advertisers’ claims, unsolicited manuscripts, transparencies or other materials.

FOR ANY QUESTIONS, SUBMISSIONS OR COMMENTS, PLEASE CONTACT

GEORGE S. GLASS, MD, is the author of The Overparenting Epidemic (Skyhorse Publishing).

On page 27, he outlines five ways parents can stop overparenting their teens.

SAMANTHA KEMP-JACKSON—aka “Multiple Mayhem Mamma”—is a parenting writer, blogger, frequent media commentator and mother of four kids ranging from age six to 30. On page 19, Jackson uncovers the benefits of a global education.

INFO@INBETWEEN.CA.

October & November 2016 INBETWEEN

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From Rachel

EDITOR’S LETTER

GROUND YOUR HELICOPTERS WHEN AUTHOR LINWOOD BARCLAY was 16 years old, he had to pick out his father’s casket and help run the family business. When resident dad, Peter Carter, was just 12 years old, he took a 1,300-km trip via passenger train to visit his friend….alone. Then, at 13, he took a job in Toronto as a page at Ontario’s Legislature.

Both say they rose to the occasion when given the freedom necessary to take on great responsibility. Both also said they chose not to raise their own teens that way.

Whether you call it helicopter parenting or overparenting, George S. Glass says by intervening in our children’s education and extracurricular activities and by trying to solve all of their problems, we’re sending the wrong message to our teens.

By trying to save them from failure, we’re not only robbing them of the self-confidence that comes with personal problem-solving, but we’re also depriving them of valuable lessons, including one that says it’s OK to fail. On page 27, the author of The Overparenting Epidemic (Skyhorse Publishing) offers up five pieces of advice on how to stop overparenting.

Give your teens some freedom and independence and great things can happen, as evidenced

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in our story on page 19 about the benefits of a global education. Our expert sources have witnessed first-hand how travelling sans parents can transform our needy teens into independent leaders, excited to embrace their education. That is, of course, if we can learn to let them go.

Travelling, of course, isn’t limited to our teens’ adventures. If you’re looking for a family vacation that everyone will love, look no further than our feature on Cancun’s Palace Resorts on page 34. You can even win a two-night stay at Moon Palace Cancun!

We hope you enjoy this issue and please reach out if you have a story about surviving the overparenting epidemic. We’d love to hear from you. ■

SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS rachel@inbetween.ca PHOTO BY AGNES WYWROT/VYV PHOTOGRAPHIC

Raising Dad

calculus

tutor where does real confidence come from?

Her selfies or her math skills? At Havergal College, we believe real confidence comes from within.

That’s why we’re encouraging girls to share the things that really matter to them: #RealGirlThings See more at RealGirlThings.ca

OPEN HOUSE DATES OCTOBER 19 (Grade 7) OCTOBER 20 (JK to Grade 6) NOVEMBER 1 (Grade 9) To register, visit: havergal.on.ca/openhouse

October & November 2016 INBETWEEN

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insight

Raising Dad

ADVICE AND INSIGHT FROM EXPERIENCED PARENTS

RAISING DAD

PARENTING

BY THE SEAT OF YOUR HELICOPTER

When Peter Carter was in Grade 7, he took a train on a 1,300-km ride to visit his friend. When his own kids were teens, he’d be damned if he let them take the bus by themselves to school. He admits the helicopter flew furious when it came to his own parenting skills. But here’s why he didn’t mind. by peter carter

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INBETWEEN October & November 2016

Raising Dad

WHEN

I WAS A MEASLY 12 YEARS OLD—between Grades 7 and 8—my dad drove me to the train station in my hometown of Sudbury, dropped me and my new Framus guitar off, and I rode the rails all by myself, more than 1,300 kms northwest, to visit my friend Clyde Donnelly. He lived in the remote northwest Ontario town of Sioux Lookout. It was a passenger train, by the way.

I can’t remember every detail of the trip except that it took almost two days. And I’ll never forget meeting an older—gasp!—teenaged girl named Maple with long brown hair who asked me to sing a folk song for her. Which I did. (I sound so suave and worldly. Weird, then, that I’d spend the subsequent 20 years mired down in so many friend zones. Hmmm.)

I had met Clyde a few months earlier, when I was living in Toronto and working as a page in the Ontario Legislature. You’ve seen pages on the news. They’re 12- and 13-year-olds dressed in smart little suits and they run errands for

Members of the Legislature. When I was a kid, my dad read about the program in the local newspaper and learned that they accepted applicants from all over Ontario, so I wrote some letters and won a spot. That’s also how Clyde got to Toronto from Sioux Lookout.

The Legislature operates during the school year, so pages are lucky enough to get out of regular school. We made up for that by attending classes for five hours a week at the Legislature, but mostly, getting to be a page was like a free pass from class. Sort of heavenly, now that I think about it.

It gets better. When in Toronto, I lived with my older sister, Charlene, who was studying to be a nurse, and—get this—her two very hot roomies, Barb and Kathy. They were, what, 19?

Every day, I would get up for work and commute downtown on the crowded streetcar with all the big-city grown-ups and sometimes we’d have to do extra duties, so some nights, I wouldn’t get home until dark.

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Raising Dad

“Take it from Linwood and me; the teen years are few and fly by fast.”

We got paid just like adults and, frankly, when I think of how little I was at the time, I find it hard to believe I did it. Just like I find it hard to believe I sang for Maple.

(I sometimes wonder what happened to ol’ Maple. Which reminds me of a story a friend told me about getting caught as a 10-year-old smoking in his friend’s family car. The buddy’s angry mom stormed out to the driveway in her nightclothes and leaned in the window to reprimand the boys. All my friend could do, he says, was stare at her partially open negligee.

It wasn’t until he turned 60 and realized that she’s probably well in her 80s that he stopped remembering the night so fondly. But I digress.)

When my brother Eddie was in elementary school, he hitchhiked—with my parents’ consent—from a tiny town called Thessalon to another village called Chapleau, which was about 250 klicks north. He was going to visit his old friend Johnny Cosgrove. The highway was, and still is, remote, twisty and the terrain very wild. The trip went as planned and Eddie returned home, safely, alone.

At this point, you’re like, “Was Carter’s dad trying to get rid of those kids or what?”

The answer is, of course, no. My folks worried about us just as much as you worry about your

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teenagers. They just had precious little time to be with us. They also knew what we were capable of.

Elsewhere in this issue, I have an interview with the thriller novelist Linwood Barclay. I’ve been addicted to his books for a few years now but had no idea that we would spend so much time talking about what teenagers can do if we just let them have at it. (Barclay—one of the nicest guys I’ve met in ages incidentally—started running the family business when his father died too young. Read the story. It starts on page 12.)

Funny thing is, both Barclay and I, when we were raising teens, found ourselves taking what would appear to be the opposite position from our own parents. I drove my three to high school as often as I could. If I could carry their books for them, I’d have done that too.

Still would, even though they’re in their 20s and have flown the coop. (I think empty nests are for the birds, by the way.)

I’ll be the first to admit it. I was a self-confessed helicopter parent of teens. And I don’t regret it one bit.

I did whatever I could do to spend time with them. Take it from Linwood and me; the teen years are few and fly by fast.

Many days, it wasn’t that the kids needed me; it was more like I needed them. ■ Peter has four brothers, four sisters, one wife, two daughters and a son, the last three of which all recently graduated from teenagehood with all their limbs and sanity intact. According to Carter: “If you can’t use your family as a petri dish for life, what else you gonna do with ’em?”

Raising Dad

October & November 2016 INBETWEEN

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10 MINUTES WITH...

LinwoodBarclay For writer Linwood Barclay, penning about his family life was part of his job.

Even when the kids hit their teen years, everything was on the record for this syndicated columnist. INBETWEEN sat down with Barclay to discuss being a dad, his career as a columnist and thriller novelist and what his family thinks of his ability to create murder in his mind. by peter carter

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ANYTHING CANADIAN thriller author Linwood Barclay writes, I read. So when the opportunity arose to spend time with Barclay, I leapt at it and made my way to the Oakville, Ont. home he shares with his wife, Neetha, who is also the mother of their two children, Paige, 29, and Spencer, 32. In addition to meeting this international bestselling writer, I wondered what was it like for his kids to be raised by a father who spends most days dreaming of ways to kill, maim, investigate and chase bad guys?

PHOTO BY BILL TAYLOR

10 Minutes With...

Many people knew of you first as a Toronto Star columnist where you wrote about your teenagers. Were the kids ever, like, ‘Dad, that’s off the record?’”

I asked if they ever read my column. When Spencer was 17, he managed to lock the keys in the car with the engine running at high school. He phoned for help; the other kids were laughing. I said, “Can I write a column about this?” He said “OK’ and then the day the column came out, I asked if he read it and he said “Why would I? I was there.”

Did your unusual job affect the way you raised your kids?

When I started the column in 1993, Spencer would have been nine, Paige would have been six or seven. It was very unconventional. Everybody else’s dad went somewhere, but I was home and that probably really curbed their social life; they couldn’t be like, “Let’s go to my house and party” because Dad was always around. Also, I think, in a lot of homes, if you decide you want to be a writer or a musician or a hockey player or a ballet dancer, the parents would say, “That’s great on the side, but you need a real job.”

I got paid but it didn’t look like a real job.

So it would be very hard to say to our son, “Don’t pursue your artistic interests. You need a real job.” (Spencer is, in fact, a video artist. Paige is studying at the University of Toronto.)

Tell us about having to grow up fast, a-la Linwood Barclay.

My father died when I was 16. We had a family business and I had to take over. We had eight cabins that we rented and spaces for maybe 30 to 40 trailers; we rented boats and motors and although my mom ran it, I did all the grunt work.

I did the grocery shopping, I was dealing with problems that came up at the camp, and if an

“My father died when I was 16.

We had a family business and I had to take over.” outboard motor blew up and had to be fixed, I was the guy who decided to take it downtown.

All this responsibility was thrust on me, so I didn’t have those teenager years of drinking and carousing because I was looking after my mom and my brother and running things. It never occurred to me, at the age of 16, that this was a great imposition or responsibility. You do what you have to do. When my father died, my mother asked me to go to the funeral home to pick out a casket because she wasn’t up to it.

I said, “Fine, it’s just a box of wood, anyway.”

So do you think most parents underestimate their teens’ abilities?

Absolutely. I think a lot of kids could do what October & November 2016 INBETWEEN

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10 Minutes With...

never do that to my kids. I would let them follow their course and do what they want to do.

I’m not one of these guys who said, “You gotta come into the family business;” or “I’m a lawyer so you better become a lawyer.” I just wanted them to find what they wanted to do.”

When Paige and Spencer were young, did you expect them to channel you and become adults at 16?

No. Actually, one of my flaws is that because I was forced to assume so much responsibility at an early age, I just assume nobody knows how to do anything. Even as something as simple as driving. My mom didn’t drive and my brother was a terrible driver; and so any time there was any reason to go anywhere I just assumed that nobody else knew how to drive as brilliantly as I did. So when it came to my own kids, it was like, “I’ll run you there,” “You don’t have to do it.” Whatever it was, the kids would tell me, “Dad, we can do that,” and “Dad, you don’t have to do that.”

A lot of what you write is downright weird.

You’ve got killers and maniacs and otherwise normal-looking people committing all kinds of horrible acts. What are you like to live with?

All the writers I know who write weird stuff, and that includes Stephen King, present as perfectly normal people. And that’s because most of us are. We just have very active imaginations.

For me, I think that imagination is linked to anxiety—you imagine all the terrible things that can happen. When I think of them, I think of how I can use them.

There’s not a lot of research—I’m good at looking at everyday situations and then coming up with ways they could go horribly wrong.

Like a letter delivered to the wrong house, or picking up a hitchhiker who’s not all she seems. I fear our kids got away with many things despite my detective-like mind, although a couple of times I figured out where they were when they were supposed to be home. That was satisfying. ■

So what was your approach?

I had a very rough relationship with my mother, and she was always trying to control my decisions. I swore from the time I was 20 I would

Former Toronto Star Life Editor and columnist Linwood Barclay is the internationally bestselling author of more than a dozen novels, including Trust Your Eyes, A Tap on the Window, and No Time for Goodbye. Follow him on Twitter @Linwood_Barclay

Barclay with his wife, Neetha

I did. It’s just that circumstances haven’t demanded it. I think sometimes we want to shelter our kids from too much responsibility.

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PHOTO COURTESY OF LINWOOD BARCLAY

inFORM

Raising Dad

WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW FOR YOUR TODAY AND THEIR TOMORROW

outside NEWS BRIEFS

GAMING HAVE YOUR TEENS BEEN OUTSIDE PLAYING POKÉMON GO FOR HOURS? If they have, you can

breathe a little easier the next time they step outside to catch a Pikachu. A recent study published in the Journal of Adolescent Health suggests that teens that play one hour of active video games—like Pokémon Go—per day are more likely to have high self-esteem than their peers who play one hour of sedentary video games. Teens who play active video games are also more likely to go out of their way to help others, and less likely to have emotional problems, like anxiety and depression.

October & November 2016 INBETWEEN

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news

Raising Dad

DARE

TO BE HEALTHY Want your teen to eat healthy?

Appeal to their rebellious side. A US study looked at how 536 teens ages 13-15 responded to different conditions aimed at promoting a healthy diet. Students were either given materials that promoted healthy eating based on its long-term health benefits (boring!) or materials that revealed how junk food is designed to be addictive, can be deceptively labelled and is targeted to attract a certain age group or demographic. The following day, students were given a snack—the contents of which they could choose from a list. Only 43 per cent of students who received materials about the negative aspect of the food industry chose unhealthy snacks, compared to 54 per cent of those who did not receive any information about the junk food industry.

BABY BACKLASH

A recent study found that assigning students robotic babies that eat, sleep, cry and poo—like the real deal—actually makes teen pregnancy more likely to occur, not less. The study examined a parenting program in Perth, Australia that assigns the virtual dolls to students, and found that the girls who participated were more likely to both experience a birth and an abortion before the age of 20. Although it is not clear why the dolls increased pregnancy rates, it could be because the project was fun and ended up promoting teen motherhood instead of discouraging it.

FIRE UP THANKSGIVING This Thanksgiving, let your turkey stand out. Instead of your usual rub, try this barbecue version: In a bowl, mix two sticks of unsalted butter with five tablespoons of brown sugar, two tablespoons paprika, 1 tablespoon of onion powder, two teaspoons of salt and two teaspoons of chilli powder. Apply the rub generously on your bird before grilling it. Now all that’s left to do is hear praise from your in-laws.

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INBETWEEN October & November 2016

Raising Dad

October & November 2016 INBETWEEN

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Ask the Expert

by kimberly moffit

I’ve always told my 17-year-old son that if he wanted to have some drinks, I’d rather he drank at home than out with his friends.

But, lately, he’s been bringing home his friends who are old enough to buy beer, and they have been drinking in my basement. This seems to be occurring almost every weekend now and I hate it. But how do I tell him to stop when I originally told him I woud rather he drink at home?

Kimberly Moffit is one of Canada’s most experienced relationship experts and provides practical advice about parenting and psychological topics. She’s a regular speaker for Queen’s University’s MBA and Women in Leadership Programs, and a frequent lecturer at the University of Waterloo.

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IT’S VERY NORMAL, but frustrating, when teens take advantage of something their parent says in good faith. You know that saying, “You give an inch, they take a mile?” Well, this applies perfectly to how teens can react to something when it benefits them. When you made your original comment, of course you didn’t envision house parties every weekend and beer-a-plenty for your son and all his friends! But how do you renegotiate the rules now that your son has taken full advantage of your generosity?

Here’s where communication comes in: It’s time to talk to your son about your expectations. Maybe you communicate that there’s a once-a-month rule for having his friends over or that he can have a total of two friends maximum for occasions where there will be alcohol involved. He may protest, but that should be expected—he has had free reign of the basement for a while, and he may not give that up without becoming angry. But, at the end of the day, it’s your house, and you care about his health and safety. So try having a candid and frank discussion and work through solutions together, and you’ll have your (mostly) peaceful weekend abode restored in no time! Good luck! ■

INBETWEEN October & November 2016

Global Education

WORDLY WONDER For some teens, learning really takes flight when they travel to participate in educational programs and exchanges.

Not only do they learn what’s on the curriculum, but they also get a course on culture, independence and leadership.

But before you send them packing, here’s what you need to know. by samantha-kemp jackson INBETWEEN

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HAT WOULD POSSESS a parent to send their teen off to travel the world without them?

How about the ability to learn about other cultures, the ability to perhaps learn another language and the fact that their child will return home with a lifetime of positive experiences?

These are just some, but not all of the reasons behind parents’ support of their children’s journeys. More specifically, the opportunity for kids to participate in a global education program with like-minded students around the world has considerable appeal.

Ask Melanie Belore about what she’s seen during her tenure at Toronto-based private school, Havergal College. In her role as manager of the institute, Belore is closely involved with both parents and students at the school as they prepare for what is poised to be one of the defining experiences of the student’s young lives.

She’s seen many Havergal students leave the comfort of their family homes to travel across the world, coming home with a new sense of independence, strength and a fierce desire to continue their travels.

“For many students, this is the first time travelling on their own,” she says. “Our goal is to provide students with different experiences and to expand their world views.”

Gwendolyn Julien, president of Blyth Academy International in Toronto, says students returning

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from their travels afar also come back with a renewed interest in their own education.

“They come back excited to learn,” says Julien. “Being away inspires and motivates students to embrace learning—even those who struggle in a classroom setting.”

If your teen wants to travel with a school group or organization, there are different options available. Here are a few programs that offer different experiences as well as what you need to know in order to prepare for your child being worlds away.

AN EXCHANGE IN EDUCATION Founded on the philosophy that an exchange program experience for students is a family affair, Havergal College (havergal.on.ca) works with the parents, students and their family members to assure that the process of being

Global Education

“They feel like they’ve ‘found their voice’ since they’ve gone abroad: [for the first time] they’ve had to advocate for themselves.” vetted for the program is inclusive. After all, a student leaving home to travel to a distant locale is something that would indeed affect all family members. With the motto and goal “to prepare young women to make a difference,” the program has been successful in achieving its objective since starting over 10 years ago.

Understanding that sending one’s child off to another country isn’t just the concern of the eager traveller, Havergal strives to include all members of the family in the planning and decision-making process.

“It really is a full family experience—from sending your child away to hosting a family in your home, we work closely with the families to make sure everyone’s comfortable,” Belore says.

Havergal’s partnerships include locales around the world, with five schools in Australia, two in France, and one each in Germany, Argentina, South Africa, Singapore and Hong Kong.

As part of what the school calls its “Global Experience Program,” Havergal’s exchange with other schools is headed under the mandate that facilitates both academic and personal growth.

Exchanges are usually done over the March Break, either two weeks before or two weeks after to minimize the amount of studies that may

be lost while travelling. For a full four weeks, the student is immersed in the lifestyle and culture of the host family, which consists of living in the family home and following the day-to-day routines of the student host—including attending classes. A Havergal student who is part of the program will go to school with their host student. She enrols at the school during the course of her visit and shadows the other student so that she can have a better understanding of the answer to the question, “What would it be like to be a student somewhere else in the world?”

“You’re signing up to experience the daily rhythm of someone else’s life,” says Belore. And this experience is invaluable. “Students feel a lot more independent and feel more confident travelling next time,” continues Belore. “They feel like they’ve ‘found their voice’ since they’ve gone abroad: [for the first time] they’ve had to advocate for themselves as Mom and Dad aren’t there to look out for them.”

GLOBAL HIGH SCHOOL At Blyth Academy (blytheducation.com/blythacademy), students have been travelling for more than 40 years. They don’t participate in an exchange and instead go for a prolonged amount October & November 2016 INBETWEEN

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Global Education

of time when they participate in Blyth’s Global High School.

Offered to students in Grades 11 and 12 as well as gap year students looking to upgrade their education, Global High School sees students living in Europe, Australia or Central America for a four-term program.

Students travel with experienced teaching staff and stay in affordable, safe settings.

Throughout the program, students enjoy hands-on, personalized teaching while being immersed into the community where they are exposed to new languages, culture and are given the tools to develop independence and leadership skills.

“At Blyth, we understand the importance of experiential education,” says Julien. “Students learn in a new context and apply their education in different ways. Travel provides that environment to do so, unlike what a normal classroom provides.”

For instance, Julien says the ambitious travel itineraries, coupled with the academic rigour of the program, teaches students to quickly learn responsibility and time management.

“It also teaches them new interpersonal skills, with their peers and teachers as they are living and working together,” she says. “It definitely prepares them for their post-secondary education when they move away to study. That’s the biggest thing we hear about from parents. Their kids’ personal growth.”

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SUMMER AWAY If sending your teen away for months is too daunting, Blyth Academy also offers an International Summers program wherein teens in Grades 9 – 12 have a choice to stay in 30 countries and participate in 20 programs—in locales everywhere from Australia and Hong Kong to Hawaii and Madrid.

Just a small sample of the programs available: students can study everything from cloud forest ecology in Costa Rica to history in England, Scotland and Ireland. While prices range, parents can also pay with their Aeroplan points.

JUST SAY YES For parents who don’t have their teens enrolled in private school, YES—Youth Educational Services Canada (youthedservices.ca)— is another option.

Based in Toronto, YES provides study abroad programs to students to over 20 countries across the Globe. YES students travel to a range of countries including France, Australia, Italy, Japan and Spain. Teens must be between 14 and 18, have at least a B average and must be enrolled and registered in their own school district during the academic calendar year of the proposed exchange.

“We give Canadian students the opportunity to fully immerse themselves in a brand new culture, language and environment while living with a host family and attending a host high school in their country of choice,” says Scott Baird, national student recruitment

manager at YES Canada.

“Students can choose from programs that range in length from two weeks up to the whole school year and experiential programming that includes, summer cultural travel, post-secondary travel, language learning programs and our flagship high school immersion and homestay experiences,” he continues.

For Baird, as well as the students who have been part of the program, the benefits of global travel are clear.

“Experience has taught us that a global exchange can have profound affects on students and that the results and benefits are different for every student,” he notes.

“Whether it’s gaining cultural perspective, gaining fluency in a foreign language, learning to adapt to a multitude of situations or developing emotional and social maturity, the after effects of the exchange program stay with a student for the rest of their life. If not just for these benefits, exchange students have an advantage once they graduate high school and move on to their adult life as language skills, adaptability and an international awareness are key skills in an increasingly globalized culture.” ■

LETTING THEM GO What you need to know before you send your teen away on an exchange program.

Determine what your child’s goals are for travelling, urges Baird. “What do they want to achieve most?

Is it a language? A skill? An experience? It could be all of the above; just be sure that there’s a focus.”

LEARN THE LANGUAGE BASICS. Have some understanding of the language that your child will be exposed to. “If it’s a foreign language, brush up on some standard phrases, simple words and common conversation to help your child get by in the country they’re visiting,” says Baird.

STOP HELICOPTERING. While we live in an age of technology wherein we have access to our teens 24/7, Julien urges parents to give their kids the space they need to learn and appreciate the experience. “Don’t text or call them constantly,” she says.

“This is very difficult for many of the parents but it can be a big distraction for the kids. We often hear from the kids that they have the best time when they are in places with no Internet access. They’re able to shut down and really be in the moment.”

HELP THEM PACK WELL. “This means pack lightly,” says Julien. “We always say, ‘pack half their stuff and double their money.”

HELP THEM GET ORGANIZED. When teens are away, they’re going to get a big lesson in time management. This lesson can start before they leave if parents can work with their kids and help them organize themselves. “It’s really helpful,” says Julien. ■

October & November 2016 INBETWEEN

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OUT OF

JOINT While arthritis is common in older people, approximately 24,000 children and teens are living and coping with juvenile arthritis in Canada. The joint disease not only has physical effects but also comes with painful psychological consequences. by angela serednicki

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Juvenile Arthritis

when JARED HAUCK was just 11 years old, he loved playing with Lego. But when his fingers started to hurt so badly that he no longer enjoyed building creations out of the tiny blocks, doctors initially thought he had low bone density.

However, tests soon proved that the Cochrane, Alberta-based boy actually suffered from juvenile idiopathic arthritis (JIA).

Commonly perceived as a disease that only affects the elderly, parents and families are “very surprised,” when their kid is diagnosed with arthritis, says Gillian Taylor, who worked as a pediatric rheumatology nurse at the Montreal Children’s Hospital for over 20 years.

Huack, now 18, is one of approximately 24,000 Canadian children and teens living with JIA, according to The Arthritis Society. JIA, also sometimes called juvenile rheumatoid arthritis, is a common chronic disability in kids and teens.

“It’s the disease with the longest delay in diagnosis for just about any chronic illness,” Taylor says. She explains that it can be difficult for parents to notice symptoms of juvenile arthritis because it comes on slowly. “Sometimes the swelling (of the joints) isn’t so noticeable,” she adds. If kids are at the age where they’re bathing themselves, such as teens, parents may not be able to see the inflammation for quite some time.

SIGNS AND SYMPTOMS According to the Arthritis Foundation, signs and symptoms of JIA include pain in the joints of the knee, hands, feet, neck, and jaw right after waking up, limping because of stiffness or redness, swelling or heat around the joint.

Since symptoms can vary day by day, Taylor says that it can be difficult for parents to know if their child is feeling healthy or is in pain.

Research shows that all teens with arthritis risk feeling isolated from their peers at times, especially when their pain is interfering with their school and social life, says Taylor.

“Social repercussions, like being able to play soccer one summer but having difficulty going on a short bike ride the next summer can be especially hard,” she says.

If your teen has arthritis, it’s especially important to notice if they’re withdrawing from activities, struggling in school more than usual, or spending more time alone at home than usual, as these may be signs that your teenager is suffering psychologically.

SUPPORT Parental support is extremely important for children with chronic illnesses, says Taylor.

“In some ways, it may be a positive, healthy step to request assistance from a social worker or psychologist through the specialty clinic (rheumatology) for both the parent and the child,” she says. “This is a great way parents October & November 2016 INBETWEEN

25

Juvenile Arthritis

“There isn’t anything I can’t do because of my arthritis.” can show their kids the importance of reaching out for help when needed.”

TREATMENT Since there is no cure for arthritis, medication and treatment work to keep the disease in remission—which can be a very difficult component of having a child with arthritis. Exercise is an essential part of pain management for juvenile arthritis, and activities that don’t put stress on the joints, like swimming, is ideal.

Almost seven years after being diagnosed with polyarticular arthritis, a form of JIA that primarily mainly affects the fingers and toes, Hauck says he takes at least seven pills a day to manage his pain. Hauck also sees a physiotherapist for the discomfort in his back and hands and makes sure that he leads an active lifestyle—some of his favourite activities include long boarding and playing volleyball. “There isn’t anything I can’t do because of my arthritis,” he says. ■

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INBETWEEN October & November 2016

Overparenting

5 WAYS TO STOP OVERPARENTING We all want to protect our teens from failure and disappointment.

That’s why we often find ourselves calling their teachers, arranging for tutors and helping them one-up their classmates. But, says expert George S. Glass, by overparenting—and overprotecting— we’re actually sending our children the wrong message. by george s. glass October & November 2016 INBETWEEN

27

WE

ALL WANT OUR TEENS to have a good jumpstart on their future. This is why so many of us make it our missions to lead them on the right path to success. Unfortunately, in doing this, a lot of us end up taking control and thus driving the epidemic of overparenting in today’s society.

The result? Teens who don’t learn valuable lessons about life, success and failure.

WHY WE OVERPARENT The media is full of stories about how jobs are disappearing overseas, that a college, or even a post-college degree, is not enough to guarantee future success, leaving a parent feeling they have to do “whatever it takes” to ensure their child will “one-up” their classmates—be it going to college prep summer camps or hiring tutors to facilitate admission to schools deemed elite by magazine surveys. All of these efforts can be considered overparenting; in which parents intervene to set up advantageous situations for their children, such as pushing them into activities that interest the parents more than the child, calling up teachers when their teen has a bad grade on a test, or hassling coaches when their teen does not get enough playing time.

Some of these activities are not bad when there is a crisis, but on a continual basis, they can be destructive for your teen.

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INBETWEEN October & November 2016

SENDING THE WRONG MESSAGE Constantly intervening, overscheduling and pushing your child into activities they have no interest or talent in gives the teen several messages you, as a parent, do not want them to get.

The first message that overparenting gives is that your child feels they are not good enough on their own.

Situations in which they are encouraged to talk to their teacher about a problem builds their self-confidence.

The second message is that failure is so terrible that it should be avoided at any cost rather than the acknowledgment that we all make mistakes and something useful can be learned from all of them. In addition, by intrusively intervening and overscheduling, you as a parent miss out on being able to help your child understand what happened when they make a mistake, and teach them how to use their own resources to change the situation. Situations in which they are encouraged to talk to their teacher about a problem builds their self-confidence, which is lost when you have picked up your cellphone to jump in.

A third point that intrusive parenting conveys

Overparenting

is that being bored or depressed, even occasionally, must be avoided. Although, in reality, those downtimes are often when most of our creative ideas arise, particularly when they occur without someone else’s input.

So how do you keep from overparenting?

Here are five tips.

1.

Listen to what your child tells you, and try to understand the situation before you jump in. There are times to jump in, but try other alternatives first.

2.

3.

activities. We all need downtime to think, reflect, feel sorry for ourselves, and then find our own solution.

4.

Listen to the people who are most involved with your children—their teachers, their coaches and their tutors—before you decide that you totally know better than all of them.

After all, that is supposed to be their areas of training; you are paying them for that expertise, and you might learn something.

5.

Let them make mistakes, and then help them understand what happened so that they do not do the same thing again.

If things don’t get better, it never hurts to talk to other parents, or even a therapist to get additional answers. Even though we all “know our own children best,” additional input never hurts. ■

Do not overschedule and overplan their

George S. Glass, MD, is the author of The Overparenting Epidemic (Skyhorse Publishing).

October & November 2016 INBETWEEN

29

inSPIRE LIVING YOUR BEST LIFE

COVER STORY

G N I S I R TAR S

With a hit show on Disney and an album on the go, Laura Marano is making a mark in show business.

And while the Kids’ Choice Award winner has words of advice for aspiring teen actors, she also has encouraging words to parents: be supportive (even if you don’t want to). by jordana handler

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INBETWEEN October & November 2016

PHOTOS BY JOSH WILLIAMS

Laura Marano

A

ACTOR. SINGER. SONGWRITER.

Whether she’s a “Millennial Overachiever” or just a triple threat, one thing for certain is that 20-year-old Laura Marano is making her mark.

Best known for her starring role on the Disney Channel’s international hit television series Austin & Ally (Marano won the 2015 Kids’ Choice Awards for best actress for her portrayal of “Ally”), Marano is also a singer/ songwriter who just signed a record deal with label Big Machine Records.

© CROWN MEDIA UNITED STATES, LLC, PHOTOGRAPHER KATIE YU.

With her older sister, Vanessa, in the biz (Switched at Birth, Gilmore Girls) and a mother who owns a children’s theatre, Marano comes by the acting bug quite naturally. It’s surprising, then, to find out that her parents weren’t initially thrilled about her choice of career.

Marano sat down with INBETWEEN to chat about being a young adult in Hollywood, the important role parents play when it comes to teen actors and her advice for making it in the biz.

BORN A STAR With an interest in performing from the get-go, Marano’s first gig was in a JCPenney commercial when she was five years old. At age six, she took a role on the television show Without a Trace alongside her older sister, Vanessa.

While all signs would point to a career in acting, Marano says her mother was initially October & November 2016 INBETWEEN

31

AUSTIN & ALLY - Marano with her co-stars Ross Lynch as Austin, Raini Rodriguez as Trish and Calum Worthy as Dez.

“Proms & Promises” episode.

“Trust me, balancing school and work is very tough but it is so rewarding if you can do both.”

32

against her getting into show business.

“Vanessa begged my mom to let her try out for a talent agent,” says Marano. “My mom was opposed to the idea of it so she arranged an audition with an agent notorious for turning down children actors.”

The sabotage didn’t work. In fact, it backfired.

Big time. The agent not only signed Vanessa but signed Laura that same day as well.

“I will never forget that day,” says Marano. “I still work with that agent today.”

Silverman Program and the movie Superbad.

That lead to Marano scoring the lead role in the TV show Austin & Ally—the job that vaulted the actress into the public eye and made her a recognizable face.

“I really began to grow my audience with Austin & Ally both as an actress and as a musician.

At the 2015 Kids’ Choice Awards, Marano won Best Actress for her role on Austin & Ally and the show also won for Best TV Comedy. “A lot of doors began opening for me during that show.”

MARANO’S MILESTONES While Marano experienced success acting in commercials and taking small roles on TV shows, her biggest breaks came when she landed roles on the television show The Sarah

FAMILY FIRST When it comes to family, Marano describes her parents as “the best parents in the world.”

While Marano’s parents were initially concerned about how she would deal with rejection,

INBETWEEN October & November 2016

PHOTOS: LEFT, DISNEY CHANNEL/CRAIG SJODIN. RIGHT, DISNEY CHANNEL/ERIC MCCANDLESS.

Raising Laura Marano Dad

“You never stop growing as an artist, so embrace the hard work and you’ll get better and better.” she says their constant support has allowed her to blossom and grow in her career.

Her advice to other parents of teens who aspire to work in entertainment: “You should always encourage your child. It [entertainment] is a psychologically exhausting business; make sure your teen has a healthy balance in their lives. Support them but don’t pressure them.”

To help their teens stay grounded, Marano suggests parents urge their kids to continue with their education. (Marano attended school throughout her rising career.)

“Trust me, balancing school and work is very tough but it is so rewarding if you can do both.”

GIRL POWER Having started in the business at such a young age, Marano says she escaped a lot of the insecurity and fears that many teen girls face.

“When you think about the business, it can be scary, but you have to really forget about everyone else and not compare yourself.”

Like fearless females before her, Marano identifies and respects strong and passionate women in her field. Musically, she really looks up to P!NK whose music Laura credits as “honest and real.”

For inspiration in her personal life and acting career, Marano says her biggest role models hit

closer to home: her mom and her sister, Vanessa.

“They are both such strong, talented and successful women,” she says.

MAKING MUSIC For someone who loves to perform, music was a natural progression for Marano.

“To be honest, making music just makes me so happy, and I define success by how happy my music makes everyone around me,” she says.

Judging by the attention her video is getting for her single “Boombox,” Marano’s music career is going to be uber successful. To-date, the video has garnered over 36 million views.

While her album, which also includes the song “LaLa” will be out later this year, Marano says she is only having one big problem: she can’t stop writing songs.

“The longer it takes to release the album, the more songs I want to add on,” she says.

Not that working and striving for perfection is anything new to Marano, who is also launching a new fragrance line including scents—Hug You, Kiss You, Love You—in November.

That’s why she advises other teens to keep working on their craft—whatever it is.

“Keep working hard,” she says. “You never stop growing as an artist, so embrace the hard work and you’ll get better and better.” ■ October & November 2016 INBETWEEN

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inDULGE

FOSTERING YOUR HEALTH, BODY AND RELATIONSHIP

THE ROYAL TREATMENT Palace Resorts serves up all-inclusive fun sure to please everyone. by rachel naud

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INBETWEEN October & November 2016

Family Travel

SITTING AT THE BAR IN LUNA LOUNGE at

Playacar Palace, drink master Tonatiuh is blowing smoke into my skull-shaped glass. After adding a mixture of cardamom, cucumber, lime, fresh rosemary and fresh basil to Mezcal (alcohol made from Mexico’s algave plant), he begins to shake the concoction with vigour.

“It’s almost like a dance,” he says. “My grandmother taught me this.”

It’s definitely a family affair at Playacar Palace—even if you’re drinking a smoking cocktail at Luna Lounge. In fact, just steps away, two families travelling together are playing pool; their small kids circling the pool table, watching their every move.

“Hey, where’s the other kids?” asked one of the dads. The question was met with blank

stares, shrugs and finally laughter. Moments later, a couple of teens walked through the doors of the lounge.

As any parent can attest, planning a family vacation with teens can be tricky. Suggest a week of togetherness and cue the eye rolls. Yet, at Cancun’s Palace Resorts, there are plenty of activities the whole family can enjoy—from parents to small children and everyone in between.

PALACE PLEASURES Whether you choose Playacar Palace or Moon Palace or any other Palace Resort (there’s eight in total), you’ll come accustomed to the fine amenities that built the Palace brand to the top-notch destination it is.

Firstly, and this is magic to any parent with October & November 2016 INBETWEEN

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Top left: Book an excursion and go ziplining. Right: All Palace properties offer spectacular ocean-view rooms. Bottom left: Test your surfing skills on the Flowrider

teens ears, they are all all-inclusive. That means, if your teen has a bottomless pit, he can eat to his heart’s content and you won’t have to worry about all those late-night nacho trips showing up on your bill at checkout time.

More exciting news for parents: every room comes with its own drink dispensary.

In addition to free food and drink, travellers also get free wifi, 24-hour room service and free long-distance calls from your room. Moreover, stay for five nights or more and guests receive a $1,500 resort credit that they can use for the spa, golf course, excursions, tours and more.

PLAYACAR PALACE If you’re looking for a resort that’s within walking distance to some of the area’s hotspots, Playacar Palace (palaceresorts.com/playacarpalace/en) is ideal.

Nestled on the white sandy beaches of Playa del Carmen, the resort is just steps

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INBETWEEN October & November 2016

away from the famed La Quinta Avenida, also known as Fifth Ave. The hotspot is lined with everything from restaurants and shops, selling everything from high fashion to wrinkle cream, to bars and pubs.

On-site, don’t miss out on dinner at Alkimia.

Perfect for a family of foodies, this one-of-akind culinary experience combines haute cuisine with a spectacular audiovisual. Diners will be treated to 12 courses or “scenarios” that use a variety of innovative cooking techniques all brought to life with state-of-the-art technology.

A two-hour event for the senses, daring teens will love the blindfolded portion of the evening where you are served in total darkness with only your taste buds in charge.

MOON PALACE If you’re travelling with a big group or extended family, Moon Palace Cancun (moonpalacecancun.com) is an ideal destination. While the

Family Travel

The Wired Teen Lounge at Moon Palace Cancun is a cool hangout.

resort is a good 30-minute drive into the city of Cancun, you will have enough activities and fun to never miss a thing.

The four-diamond property, which is enormous (it’s the biggest resort in Latin America), offers 2,400 rooms, 14 restaurants, serving up everything from Mexican, American, Italian and Asian cuisine and 11 bars and lounges.

Ideal for families with teens, the resort is home to fun attractions such as the Flowrider Double Wave Simulator (so your teens can test their surfing skills) and the Wired Teen Lounge, where kids can dance, listen to music, play video games, pool and more.

There’s definitely no shortage of entertainment at Moon Palace, which is also known as Cancun’s entertainment destination. The property has set the stage for many top artists, including Shakira, Usher, Ricky Martin, Chicago and the Beach Boys. This November, Gloria Gaynor is scheduled to perform, along with Kool & The Gang. In addition, Grammy

award-winning super group, Duran Duran will take the stage on Thursday, December 29, 2016.

In the New Year, the property’s convention centre (which is larger than Cancun’s own convention centre) will transform into a visual spectacle when Cirque Éloize embarks with a limited engagement from Dec. 22 to Jan. 3.

During the day, lounge by any of the property’s seven outdoor pools or hit the links at the 27-hole Jack Nicklaus Signature Gold Course. Or, simply treat yourself to some R&R at the Awe-Spa. The great thing about Palace Resorts: once you pick your Palace, the hard work ends there.

All that’s left is fun, sun and family time. Isn’t that what a vacation is all about? ■

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MOON PALACE!

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October & November 2016 INBETWEEN

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Final Thrill

fallNIGHTS FOR IN

The cooler weather is a great excuse to stay in, pop some corn and binge-watch your favourite shows with your teen.

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INBETWEEN October & November 2016

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