August/September 2016 by INBETWEEN Magazine

FOR PARENTS CAUGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF RAISING A TEEN & YOUNG ADULT

AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2016

ENTERTAINMENT TONIGHT’S

BACK TO SCHOOL STRESS

CAMERON MATHISON

PUTS THE SPOTLIGHT ON FATHERHOOD

IS IT REAL?

BAD FRIENDS WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU HATE YOUR KID’S BFF

WIN A DORM

PRIZE PACK FOR YOUR TEEN!

CHANTAL KREVIAZUK ON

WHEN LOVE HURTS TEENS &

LIFE, LOVE AND RAISING BOYS

34 DORM

DATING VIOLENCE

ROOM

essentials

August/September 2016 INBETWEEN

inbetween AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2016

INSIGHT

SCHOOL STRESS IS REAL

7 10 MINUTES WITH...

Chantal Kreviazuk 11 RAISING DAD High School Horrors 14 MODERN FAMILY The Acosta

Family on prepping for the teen years and attitude shifts

INFORM

TIME FOR A CELLPHONE?

18 HEALTH & LIFE NEWS 20 ASK THE EXPERT Kimberly

Moffit on how to talk to your teen about sex

22 WHEN LOVE HURTS The truth

about teen dating violence

26 STRESSED OUT How to help your

10 MINUTES WITH CHANTAL KREVIAZUK

child deal with back to school stress 29 BFF FAIL What you should do if

you hate your teen’s friends

BACK TO SCHOOL SPECIAL: DORM ROOM ESSENTIALS

INSPIRE 33 COLLEGE CHECKLIST 34 must-

have items for their new dorm 38 CAMERON MATHISON

The Entertainment Tonight host on balancing home life and hollywood

INDULGE 43 ANSWERING THE CALL

Deciding if a cellphone for your teen is an indulgence or priority 45 FINAL THRILL

Capture the moment

COVER PHOTO © CROWN MEDIA UNITED STATES, LLC, PHOTOGRAPHER KATIE YU.

August/September 2016 INBETWEEN

Meet the Team AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2016 EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

RACHEL NAUD ART DIRECTOR

CAROLINE BISHOP MANAGING EDITOR

SHANDLEY MCMURRAY FASHION EDITOR

JORDANA HANDLER WEBSITE MANAGER

VICTOR CHARD EDITORIAL INTERN

STEFANIE PHILLIPS

Contributors CAROLINE BISHOP is INBETWEEN’s art director who also specializes in start-up magazines and redesigns for both independent and major national publications. She is a mother of three children, and with the eldest being almost 8, is finally starting to understand why everyone always seems to tell her, usually while the baby is screaming, to “savour each moment, it goes by so quickly.” She is nervous about the teen years.

CONTRIBUTORS

PETER CARTER, RYAN FRANCOZ, JORDANA HANDLER, LARA HYDE, SHANDLEY MCMURRAY, KIMBERLY MOFFIT, STEFANIE PHILLIPS, AGNES WYWROT, NATALIA ZURAWSKA

NATALIA ZURAWSKA is a talented hair and makeup artist who has worked with some of the top photographers, producers and directors in the industry. She is also the author of I’m Not Making This Up as well as How to Work with a Makeup Artist—for Up and Coming Photographers. On page 14, Zurawksa styled our Modern Family.

Copyright© 2016 INBETWEEN Magazine. All rights reserved. All images, unless otherwise noted, are from iStockphoto and Pexels. No part of this magazine may be reproduced without the written permission of the publisher. The publisher accepts no responsibility for advertisers’ claims, unsolicited manuscripts, transparencies or other materials. FOR ANY QUESTIONS, SUBMISSIONS OR COMMENTS, PLEASE CONTACT INFO@INBETWEEN.CA.

MEGAN FUNNELL is a Winnipegbased marketing communications coordinator. She is also the talent behind our INBETWEEN BITES recipe videos, where she has filmed teenapproved delights including mock margaritas, fiesta dip and sloppy pizza joes. Check them out on inbetween.ca.

August/September 2016 INBETWEEN

From Rachel

EDITOR’S LETTER

TEACHABLE MOMENTS WHILE SCHOOL ENDED a long time ago for us parents, there’s always something new to learn about raising teens—and this back to school issue is chock full of lessons. On page 29, we offer up advice for a tricky predicament—what you should do if you hate your teen’s friends? While this scenario has played out for generations, our expert’s modern-day advice may surprise you. With back to school comes tests, grades and, yes, stress. But how real is the stress our teens feel come September? Find out on page 26. One of the most important lessons in this issue is the most heartbreaking. Shandley McMurray chats with a father whose teen daughter was shot dead by her boyfriend. It’s now his mission to honour her memory by talking to other parents about the dangers of teen dating violence. Don’t miss it on page 22. If you’re in for a new exercise this fall and are sending your teen off to college, don’t miss our list of dorm essentials. There you will find a checklist of 34 must-haves your teen will need to eat, study, organize and PHOTO BY AGNES WYWROT/VYV PHOTOGRAPHIC

decorate their dorms. Like what you see? You can win some of these products! Find out how on page 33. We hope the articles in this issue will teach you a thing or two and inspire you as you go through this phase of parenting. Have an idea for an article? Want to share some thoughts on this issue? I’d love to hear from you. In the meantime, I sincerely hope you like everything INBETWEEN. ■

SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS rachel@inbetween.ca

August/September 2016 INBETWEEN

Raising Dad

When your daughter joins the Havergal community, she will embark on her journey into the future. We will help her discover her individual passions and creativity. She will truly find a place for herself at Havergal. Book a tour today! admissions@havergal.on.ca

www.havergal.on.ca/admissions

An independent school for girls (JK to Grade 12) in Toronto, Canada. Preparing young women to make a difference since 1894

August/September 2016 INBETWEEN

insight

Raising Dad

ADVICE AND INSIGHT FROM EXPERIENCED PARENTS

10 MINUTES WITH

Chantal Kreviazuk Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s been seven years since we officially heard from songstress Chantal Kreviazuk. During her hiatus, the Winnipeg-born singer has written lyrics for the likes of Kelly Clarkson, Pink, Kendrick Lamar and Carrie Underwood, to name a few. But what has really been keeping Kreviazuk busy is raising her three sons, Rowan, 12, Lucca, 11, and Sal, 8, with Our Lady Peace singer and husband, Raine Maida. by rachel naud photography raphael mazzucco August/September 2016 INBETWEEN

10Raising Minutes With Dad

hat’s it like living in a household of boys? I have two sons that are alpha boys, and one with a stubborn gene. It is a five-alarm bell in our house most of the time. My oldest has started sleeping more. That helps a bit (laughs). What has being a mom to boys taught you? Having boys taught me to forgive every boy I ever was bitter toward. Well almost. (laughs) They do just come by all of it quite honestly. Boundary setting is key though. You’ve described parenting as a humbling experience. What do you mean by that?

I didn’t paint my whole life and then one day decide to get over my visual arts stigma for good! So having zero fundamentals as my starting point was humbling because, as a music artist, I can do so much via feel… because I have fundamental tools and explore with ease. The teen years are just around the corner! What are you looking forward to the most about that stage of parenting? The boys being teens may mean that they are a bit more accountable and that they’re less physical with each other. Right now, everything is still on Raine and I to some degree and they are like little bear cubs… always getting up in it! August/September 2016 INBETWEEN

10Raising Minutes With Dad

“I can’t think that far into the future. It all frightens the crap out of me when I do.” What scares you the most? In the teen years, we see kids figuring out boundaries. I am nervous about car wrecks and overdoses. I am from the Peg (Winnipeg). There was tragedy constantly. First generation farm kids in the city, I guess. Who knows? But we are trying not to be helicopter parents. It will be tough to just let them go. As your boys grow into young men, what do you wish most for them? I wish for my boys that they understand how paramount boundaries and self-care are. They are almost interconnected because if you learn balance when you are young, it creates for a safer experience as you move through your journey. Are your boys musical? Would you want them to be in the music biz? Our kids study music and enjoy that very much and are also rabid music fans, already. Standing in the ocean with the boys the other day, our youngest was singing Bowie’s “Space Oddity.” He was singing “Ground control to Major Tom” at the top of his lungs

and I just loved it. I would not recommend any business for the kids! Ugh. I can’t think that far into the future. It all frightens the crap out of me when I do. So we go day by day and support who they are and their life and light forces! Let’s talk about your new album, Hard Sail. What was your inspiration behind this album? Hard Sail for me explores the difficulty of living—even living well—under the best of circumstances. Being born in Canada, living in the U.S. and Canada—we are among the luckiest in the world. But the more we have, the more challenges we can face in our abundance. We have food, for example, but half of the food produced is wasted. This August/September 2016 INBETWEEN

10 Minutes With

“I was not in the reality of love and partnering until I met Raine. He is my man, my one and only.” is tragic. Two challenges I face in my human experience are not bringing the traumas from past generations and my ancestors into my current state of being, as well as trying to be grateful for my incredible experience in this life and not bring in the pain and suffering of others whom I share the road in the journey with. I used this nautical theme a bit to create a parallel we can all relate to. The water is beautiful but within its beauty lays a beast to be reckoned with. Is it true, the single “All I Got” is a love letter to your hubbie, Raine Maida? What is the message behind the lyrics? I was not settled until I met my match with Raine. I was not in the reality of love and partnering until I met Raine. He is my man, my one and only, and I can see it all so clearly now after 20 years. I just needed an alpha like him to take me on! Are any of the songs on this album a reflection of motherhood? Certainly, the lullaby at the end of the album called “Smile in Your Sleep” is born from being a mom. But I could probably confidently say that every song, in some way, is influenced by the fact that I am a mother. As soon

as love or adversity come into the song, there we will find the mother in me. You’re going on tour this fall. How do you stay close with the family while you’re away? The tour is long in the fall, so it will be hard. I am hoping my family can come and be with me for a few shows during a break from school. You’re originally from Winnipeg! Do you ever bring the boys back there to show them where you grew up? Yes, the boys were in Winnipeg this summer! They reunited with cousins and other relatives. Any favourite haunts in the city? The best thing to do in Winnipeg is go to the Ten Spa for the authentic Hamam experience. I always go at least once when I am in town. What else has caught your attention these days? I love the Wear Your Label clothing line. It is eradicating stigma and promoting selfcare and emotional/mental wellness! It is a great line of cute clothes with witty sayings regarding taking care and ownership of our minds and beings. Check it out at wearyourlabel.com. ■ August/September 2016 INBETWEEN

Raising Dad

RAISING DAD

HIGH SCHOOL

Want to know when youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve earned big parenting points? Gage it by how much your teens mock you.

If life were a theme park, high school would be full of ups, downs, stomach-turning twists and even a scary clown or two. But your kids will survive it. And, with any luck, so will you. by peter carter August/September 2016 INBETWEEN

WAS ON A BUS full of automotive journalists, touring some manufacturing facilities in Japan. We were travelling through farm country, ascending a gentle incline, when we passed a small store marked by a sign that made us all take a second look. “Did you see that?” one of the American reporters yelled from the back of the bus. “It sounds like a theme park!” The store’s name? “LIQUORLAND.” It really does evoke, say, Wonderland or Disneyland. Then it started. “Welcome to Liquorland,” came backseat guy again. “All the excitement of alcohol nightmares and more!” Somebody else: “Maybe one of the rides could be called The Vomit Comet!” Me: “How about The Black Whirlies? Where you lay down on the bed and try to stop the room from spinning.” Somebody who must remain nameless: “And who wouldn’t want to play, ‘Name that person in bed beside you?’” It went on. Probably for too long. It all happened about five years ago. But Liquorland has resurfaced. As recently as last Tuesday, my good friend and fellow dad, Nigel Simms, were discussing the fact that every year around Labour Day—no matter how old we get—we dread going back to school.

Raising Dad

Even us guys in our 50s have that dream where we show up for school having completely forgotten a test that was scheduled. Or worse, stand up to answer a question and realize we forgot to put our pants on. (Er…maybe that last one’s just me. Anyway, I digress.) Nigel and I agree. High school is to blame.

“High school is to blame. The three or four years you spend in high-school hell can traumatize you for life.” The three or four years you spend in highschool hell can traumatize you for life. So we decided to build “HIGHSCHOOLLAND.” A visit to HIGHSCHOOLLAND will prepare your teens for the next few years; years that, when they’re older, they’ll look back upon with scorn, disgust and nightmares and, we hope, some fondness. Our theme park would reassure them that even though they’re facing four years of tempestuous emotions; horrifying relationship traumas and self-image-killing one-day stands, high school is, in fact, survivable. In HIGHSCHOOLLAND, I think we’d definitely clone LIQUORLAND attractions. But August/September 2016 INBETWEEN

Raising Dad

there’d be more: • Axe Museum: Get your olfactory senses bombarded by Axe cologne and other potions teenage boys have used through the years in the hope of morphing into chick magnets. One of the displays would, of course, be from Hai Karate—the after-shave cologne that came with (and you can look this up) instructions for fighting off the girls. • Hilarious House of Gender-Bending Mirrors: Just in case your innate sense of inferiority isn’t complex enough, why not stir in some self-image-destroying mirrors that let you doubt yourself even more? • Mission Impossible Olympics: Here, visitors choose from a selection of sports; say, the 100-metre dash; basketball free throws; or maybe the devil’s-own gymnastic contraption: the pommel horse. Entrants square off against employees of HIGHSCHOOLLAND and get beaten 100 per cent of the time. The best part? Each time the house pro lets the chump think he has a chance at winning. But he never does.

• Arson Around Town: Every night at dusk, in the centre of the park, there’ll be fireworks. At HIGHSCHOOLLAND though, night after night, year after year, the only firework to be set off will be the one favoured by generations, dating back to, I believe, Piltdown Man. For good reason it’s the hands-down most revered pyrotechnic on the globe. Of course I’m talking about The Burning Schoolhouse. (That one is my wife Helena’s idea.) HIGHSCHOOLLAND. Coming up with scary rides is easy. The thing is, and it’s good to remind yourself of this, when your teenagers arrive home in horrible moods, raging at themselves and others, especially you, EVERYBODY hates high school. If your teenager comes home from secondary school smiling every day, alert the authorities. Like all gut-churning thrill rides, high school eventually winds down. One day soon it’ll be a goofy memory. Your job is to be waiting there for them, with a huge hug and a strawberry slushie. That’s the ticket. ■ HAVE A COMMENT FOR PETER? Tweet him at @Petesbandg Peter has four brothers, four sisters, one wife, two daughters and a son, the last three of which all recently graduated from teenagehood with all their limbs and sanity intact. According to Carter: “If you can’t use your family as a petri dish for life, what else you gonna do with ’em?” August/September 2016 INBETWEEN

FAMILY MATTERS

Modern Family

With their extended family living in the same neighbourhood, the Acostas have plenty of others helping—and sometimes overstepping—with their kids. Although conflict is sometimes part of the package, here’s why they’re more than happy to have their family involved—especially going into the teen years. by stefanie phillips photography ryan francoz hair & makeup natalia zurawska

the acosta family:

NATALIA ZURAWSKA/JUDY INC.

kirstyn, 41 jose, 41 xavier, 9 chloe ,13

August/September 2016 INBETWEEN

Modern Family

the

ACOSTA FAMILY has been expanding their roots in their Markham, Ont. home since moving there 16 years ago to start a family. With grandparents from both sides living minutes away and Kirstyn’s sister new to the neighbourhood, the family is growing up together and growing closer than ever before. But living close has brought conflict, and with it some awkward and unwanted confrontation. As Xavier enters his pre-teen years, and Chloe enters her teens, this family has had to deal with attitude adjustments, and finding the right consequences to match rebellious

behaviour. But both parents say they love watching their kids’ personalities bloom—even if a few timeouts are a part of their growth. Has having all of your family living close to you helped raise your family? Kirstyn: Absolutely, 100 per cent. [Jose’s] mom picks them up and takes them to school every morning. Having the grandparents close to home [is helpful] even as the kids get older. I feel like it’s more eyes. Everyone thinks when the kids are younger, they need a lot of attention, but I feel like they need just as much when they get older, even more so maybe. How do you keep everyone on the same August/September 2016 INBETWEEN

Modern Family

page when it comes to helping with your kids? Jose: That’s a bit tricky. I grew up in a house where we said whatever was on our mind. If something bothered us, we would say it. So if my mom does something I disagree with, I go talk to her. That doesn’t always mean it’s the greatest conversation. We still butt heads even at the age we’re at. But that has always been our relationship. Kirstyn: *Laughing* My family is the opposite. Jose: Yes, they’re a bit more diplomatic. If they did something that upset Kirstyn, she would have to figure out a way to say it. I blurt it out, but she finds a way to say it and to have that private conversation. What do you do to blend the families together, smoothly? Kirstyn: In the end, talking always resolves it. When we don’t talk with them, it’s harder. Ultimately he deals with his side of the family, and I deal with mine. Kirstyn:My biggest issue is the stuff given to my kids. My parents and my sister show love through gifts, and I know that is a form of love, but it’s not my first one. So I try to be respectful of it, but I find it really fricken annoying. I feel like I want everybody to value everybody’s experience with each other. Kind of taking a shift now, what are your kids interested in? Jose: Xavier is very much like me. He has a

very competitive edge. He loves his sports. So if we ask him what happened in school that day, he’ll say ‘We had floor hockey and we’re in first place.’ Kirstyn: Chloe is in the poetry slam club at school, which is pretty cool. She’s doing a group presentation with her friends in front of a bunch of people. But, she doesn’t share it with us. Jose: Yeah, she keeps it very quiet from us. When she won the speech award for her speech on a fear of clowns and anxiety, I had no idea until I saw it on the report card. I asked her what it was and she said, ‘nothing.’ Have you noticed a change in Chloe’s behaviour as she emerges into teen-hood? Together: Yes! Jose: A couple days ago she said something and we both turned to her, and said ‘you can’t do that. ‘ How do you deal with her when those lines get crossed? Kirstyn:It’s better when you don’t explode on them in those moments. We usually just state the behaviour and tell them, that we don’t appreciate that behaviour. Jose: Those situations work when it’s one on one, because if it were both of us disciplining her, it wouldn’t go well. How do you come up with consequences when you get into disagreements with Chloe? Kirstyn: To be honest, there aren’t a lot of August/September 2016 INBETWEEN

Modern Family

“My parents and my sister show love through gifts, and I know that is a form of love, but it’s not my first one.” consequences in our house right now with her, because really the only problem we’re having with her right now is her attitude. We usually just send her to her room. Sometimes we say ‘come down when you’re ready to talk’ and sometimes we go up and ask her why she’s up there. But often times, she’s not ready to talk so we wait for her to come down. How do you keep the consequences fair? Kirstyn: Occasionally we ask her what she thinks her punishment should be…and usually she’s bang on, or worse than what I would have done. Why do you think it’s important to let them make their own decisions? Kirstyn: I think it’s so important at her age… Kids eight and under are still at that egocentric family stage where they don’t mind the family routine and hierarchy of that. But, I feel that, especially as an early teen, she’s just starting to break out of [the routine and hierarchy]. So, we give her as many responsibilities that she can handle to feel empowered at her age. But she also knows that (Jose and I ) are going to have opinions. Jose: I think it’s also the definition of maturity. If you’re able to think about what you’ve done

and think about your own consequences or realizing your definition of right and wrong and how to solve it, that’s growing up. Kirstyn: I think the most important part of parenting at this stage is to allow the mistakes to happen, and expect them to. How do you control the freedom you give her with her friends? Kirstyn: There is a lot of check-ins, and cellphones are certainly there to help. I always ask her, who’s there and who’s not. And I know she’s only going to certain kids’ houses, and I know their parents. As far as I’m concerned, the check-ins are still going to happen as she gets older. I don’t care if she’s 16; we need to know where she is. Five years from now, what is your biggest wish for your kids? Kirstyn: I just want Chloe to be able to do what ever she wants to do without being scared about it. Jose: The both of them are really caring kids, and I want them to keep that persona even as they get older. Is there any advice you would give to parents currently raising pre-teens, or about to? Kirstyn: Yeah, get a wine cellar. Laughs. ■ August/September 2016 INBETWEEN

inFORM

Raising Dad

WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW FOR YOUR TODAY AND THEIR TOMORROW

PUBERTY is STRESSFUL NEWS BRIEFS

RESEARCH published in

the American Academy of Pediatrics has linked early breast development to the presence of depression in teen girls. With the age of puberty falling globally, young teens have less time to adjust to their changing bodies. All teens can be left with a negative psychological impact, but girls who develop earlier than their peers are more vulnerable to the stress of puberty. August/September 2016 INBETWEEN

news NEW APP POVIDES SEAMLESS DASHBOARD FOR FAMILIES PICNIIC, is a new app that provides users with a “one-stop shop” for all the various moving pieces that make up our busy lives. From Team Snap integration (allowing you to keep the myriad of soccer, hockey and ballet lessons for your kids in check) to meal planning— including seamless integration with your favourite online recipes— Picniic takes the heat off frazzled parents who are trying to organize the minutiae of family life. Wondering where your tween or teen has wandered off to? No worries. The Shared Location tool allows all Picniic members to see where other family members have checked in and where they are at any given moment as the app works in real time. www.picniic.com

Raising News Briefs Dad

PRE-BEDTIME BEHAVIOURS AFFECT SLEEP A new study suggests that technology use before bedtime can lead to poorer and shorter sleep habits for teens. The study, published in the Journal of Adolescent Health, found that teenagers who spend time with their family before going to bed are more likely to go to sleep earlier, and sleep longer than their peers who play video games or interact on social media before falling asleep.

EXPERTS RECOMMEND STEPS FOR THE HEALTH CARE OF TRANSGENDER TEENS According to a study by the Journal of Adolescent Health, transgender teens are more likely to experience anxiety, depression, suicide and substance abuse than cisgender people (people whose self-identity conforms with the gender that corresponds to their biological sex). Experts in the 2015 study surveyed 15 transgender adolescents and 50 caregivers of transgender adolescents and found that transgender teens are less likely to receive the health care they’re entitled to because of a lack of paediatricians trained to work with them. The team of researchers have formally suggested steps to help transgender teens receive the health care they need. ■ August/September 2016 INBETWEEN

Ask the Expert

by kimberly moffit

My daughter is going into Grade 12 and I’ve been hearing all about these “Rainbow Parties” wherein teens are participating in group oral sex acts. The girls wear different shades of lipsticks and, let’s just say, the boys come home with multi-coloured junk. I want to talk to her about this. But...how?

THE THOUGHT OF A “RAINBOW PARTY” is enough to make a parent’s heart stop, which is why stories of these in the media are so prevalent. But, rainbow parties are actually not common at all among high school or college-aged adolescents; it’s just that the myth itself is so frightening that the stories continue as urban legends or myths, designed to freak parents out! Take a deep breath and let August/September 2016 INBETWEEN

Ask the Expert

“It’s your job to prep them mentally for what may happen at parties, the idea of consent and what it means.”

Kimberly Moffit is one of Canada’s most experienced relationship experts and provides practical advice about parenting and psychological topics. She’s a regular speaker for Queen’s University’s MBA and Women in Leadership Programs, and a frequent lecturer at the University of Waterloo. Kimberly also makes regular TV appearances on shows including CTV’s Canada AM, CBC’s The National, City TV News and Global TV’s Morning Show.

your anxiety subside. What goes on in your own mind is usually far worse than the actual situations your teens will experience. That being said, creating a sex-positive environment for your teens, where they can feel free to discuss what’s on their mind is important. Parents are the BEST resource for their kids (even from the time they’re very young) to ask questions in an environment without shame or disgust around sex. It’s your job to prep them mentally for what may happen at parties, the idea of consent and what it means, and what they should do in an uncomfortable situation regarding sex or their sexuality. It’s never easy to talk to your kid about sex—especially if their lips are sealed from bringing information or questions to the table. Pushing through your comfort zone in the best interest of your children is usually best here and, in the ideal situation, you will have created an environment comfortable enough for your teen that they feel free to talk to you about any potential alarming situations they’re in. But this doesn’t happen overnight, and your teen will be alarmed if you’ve been silent about sex for 17 years and then suddenly try to open up a sex discussion at the dinner table. Just take it slow and let your teen know that you’re always there to talk and you support them no matter what. You can’t prevent awkward or uncomfortable situations from happening in your teen’s life. However, by creating a foundation of confidence and education, they’ll have the maturity to say “no” when compromising situations arise. ■ HAVE A QUESTION FOR KIMBERLY? info@inbetween.ca August/September 2016 INBETWEEN

Dating Violence

WHEN LOVE HURTS Teen dating violence is more prominent than you may think. Hereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s why you should talk to your child about it today. by shandley mcmurray INBETWEEN

ENNIFER ANNE CRECENTE was the kind of teenager parents dream of. An energetic honour roll student, Jennifer volunteered at a hospital in Austin, Texas and was a fan of the arts. She even acted alongside her father, Drew Crecente, in two musicals at their local arts centre. A loving and open girl, Jennifer was extremely close with her family, often turning to her parents for advice on everything from schoolwork to drugs and even sex. When she began dating a boy named Justin, everything seemed fine. Soon, however, she began to notice that he seemed troubled. When Justin dropped out of school and was sent to a camp for young offenders, Jennifer told him that she didn’t want to be his girlfriend anymore. A few months later, Justin shot and killed her in a field near her home. Jennifer was 18. According to The National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, 21 per cent of high school-aged girls and 10 per cent of boys who date have experienced physical and/or sexual violence at the hands of their partner. Unfortunately for Jennifer, this violence ended her life. Crushed by the horrific loss of his only child, Jennifer’s father devoted his time to researching teen dating violence (TDV). He started Jennifer Ann’s Group (jenniferann.org), to

Dating Violence

promote awareness of this growing trend and provide help for other parents and teenagers. He didn’t want others to suffer the way Jennifer had. “I decided I needed to start an organization in her name and in her memory…Part of my frustration, especially at the time [of Jennifer’s death] is that this issue wasn’t on my radar the way it needed to be,” says Crecente. WHAT IS TDV? This intimate type of abuse occurs between two people who are in a close relationship. It can be physical (hitting, punching), emotional August/September 2016 INBETWEEN

Dating Violence

Whatever you do, don’t assume you know everything there is to know about your teen. You don’t. (verbal abuse, cruel texts or emails or teasing) or sexual. Stalking is another common form of TDV that can cause anxiety and fear. WHO ARE THE ABUSERS? According to experts at Child Trends (childtrends.org), a non-profit research organization focused exclusively on improving the lives and prospects of children, youth, and their families, teens are more likely to become abusive if they have suffered abuse themselves, have inattentive or harsh parents, abuse substances like alcohol and drugs, are depressed or anxious, live in high-crime neighbourhoods, are antisocial or hang out with other delinquents. WHY IS TDV SO PREVALENT? While there’s some education about this topic in schools, Crecente says there’s a major need to make information about TDV more commonplace. “We know to look both ways before we cross the street,” he says. “We don’t know that certain behaviour is unhealthy in a relationship.” The other problem: parents aren’t talking to their kids. Whether it’s because the kids are unwilling to confide in their parents or because the parents feel too busy for a sit down or aren’t adept at discussing uncomfortable topics, these

conversations aren’t happening as often as they should. “If you’re a young person who does not have a prior relationship with which to compare this one, you do not have a way to know what is OK and what isn’t…you can’t turn to your peers because they know as little as you do,” says Crecente. Teens need a trusted adult (be it a parent, school counsellor or close family friend) to help guide them through this emotional rollercoaster. HOW CAN WE PREVENT TDV? Experts from Child Trends suggest talking to your kids about healthy relationships from an early age (in the tweens or even earlier). Discuss traits that make good friends (like empathy, kindness and understanding), and those (like jealousy, being possessive, over critical or demeaning) that are worrying. Assume a neutral standpoint and don’t personalize it, they say. Avoid ultimatums and extreme statements such as “you can never date.” Another no-no: speaking violently. Don’t raise your voice and never say something like “I’d kill anyone who hurt you.” This could make your child afraid to approach you. It’s also important to look for warning signs (see box) and monitor your child’s behaviour and online presence. “Technology has created August/September 2016 INBETWEEN

Dating Violence

a new platform for dating violence to occur, and this type of abuse is fairly common,” say the experts. According to Child Trends, between 10 and 25 per cent of dating youth experienced cyber abuse in their relationship.

SIGNS THAT YOUR CHILD MAY BE A VICTIM OF TEENAGE DATING VIOLENCE Warning signs of an unhealthy relationship may be difficult to detect, say experts from Child Trends. A few things you should watch for include: • Suspicious bruises • Lower grades • Loss of interest in hobbies • An immediate need to respond to call or texts • Having a partner who is significantly older (three years or more)

DEVELOP A SAFETY PLAN Come up with a safety word or phrase that your child can say over the phone when she’s in trouble. It can be anything—like popcorn or I found your running shoes. When you hear it, you’ll know she’s in serious trouble and you need to contact the authorities. Another must: have her memorize the phone numbers of family and friends. Her abuser may take away her phone, but this doesn’t mean she won’t be able to get ahold of another one. Whatever you do, don’t assume you know everything there is to know about your teen. You don’t. And never assume that something like TDV won’t happen to her. Just because you live in a posh neighbourhood and have an honour roll student, doesn’t make her immune. “I use Jen’s name. I use her image. I use stories about her for people to relate to her,” says Crecente. “For people to see that it does happen. It happens to people’s daughters, their sisters, the girl down the street...she was a real person. And she was just as real and just as strong as your kid.” ■

August/September 2016 INBETWEEN

Teen Stress

STRESSED OUT

Even before the books are cracked and the tests are passed out, back to school can cause anxiety for some teens. Hereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s how you can help them adjust and manage their stress. by jordana handler photography tim gouw

August/September 2016 INBETWEEN

Teen Stress

BACK TO SCHOOL

IS A MONUMENTAL TIME for most teens. Whether they are going to high school or university for the first time or just moving up a grade, there is a certain amount of stress that comes with change. Jess, a mother of two from Toronto, noticed that her daughter was becoming withdrawn and anxious right before her first year of high school. As the weeks passed by, she became more and more nervous. She became withdrawn and quiet and expressed her fear and anxieties with Jess. Jess felt that she needed to step in and help but wondered, as many parents do, where to begin. Dr. Greer Kirshenbaum is a neuroscientist based out of Toronto who focuses on stress and development. She is a huge advocate of addressing stress in your teen’s development and helping guide them through managing it. She says back to school is a peak time for stress in teens because it marks a huge transition for them and a big change in their routine. HOW REAL IS STRESS? Stress during adolescence is inevitable, but high, prolonged, or unpredictable periods of stress can become a significant risk factor for mental illness in teens. “Stress is a very real experience for teens,” says Kirshenbaum. “The adolescent brain, and especially emotion and cognition brain areas, function in an entirely different way compared to children

or adults.” She says the teenage brain has heightened emotionality, heightened stress responses and more sensitivity to fearful stimuli, and parents should be tuned into their teen’s emotional life (as best as possible) to help manage stress.

“The adolescent brain, and especially emotion and cognition brain areas, function in an entirely different way compared to children or adults.” SIGNS AND SYMPTOMS THAT YOUR TEEN IS STRESSED Stress can look different on everyone, depending on the individual. There are generally “hot” and “cold” reactions to stress. Hot reactions occur when the primitive emotional system takes over behaviour and include irritability, impulsivity and anger. Cold reactions occur when the emotional system is frozen and signs can include lethargy, shutting down communication, self-isolation and sleeping. Dramatic changes in weight and eating habits are another red flag. “It is very difficult to know if your child is experiencing a “normal” amount of stress as a result of their developing adolescent brain, so communication is key,” says Kirshenbaum. “Adolescents are going through August/September 2016 INBETWEEN

Teen Stress

so many changes, so it is difficult to know what type of behaviour is alarming.” HELPING YOUR STRESSED TEEN Establish an open communication. Maintaining an emotional connection with your teen is essential. Don’t ask them generic questions like “How was your day?” You will never learn about their emotions this way. Instead, ask, “What made you feel good today?” “What made you frustrated today?” “What was the best and worst part of your day?” Having these discussions in the car where your teen does not have to look you in the eye is the best way to get them to talk. Once you know what is bothering them, you can problem solve together. Become an active listener. Don’t criticize or solve all of your teen’s problems. Listening attentively and reflecting back emotions is a huge stress reliever. Don’t judge or control. You must realize you are entering a stage of separation between you and your child. Your teen’s brain is under renovation as they begin to emerge as an individual. They will feel less stressed if you accept this process and don’t judge or control your teen’s choices. Prioritize exercise and nutrition as a family. Exercise is the world’s best stress management tool. Go to a community centre or gym regularly as a family, do exercise classes with your teen or encourage them to do a physical activity with their friends. Make sure they sleep. Teen sleep is very

precious. Encourage your child to have as regular a bedtime as possible—or at least as much sleep as they need. The amount of sleep that a teen needs can vary, so pay attention to what your teen’s sleeping habits are. A great way to encourage a healthy night’s sleep is to have a bit of downtime before hitting the sack. A no-phone policy an hour before bed helps the brain relax and settle down (and encourages your teen to do more productive things like read or talk). Go wild. Spend vacations and free time in green spaces and wilderness. Nature has a big calming effect on the brain. Just a few minutes of fresh air per day can have a huge impact on reducing stress. Invite your teen to take a walk with you or play outside. Bonus points: fresh air will help them sleep better, too. TO HELP HER DAUGHTER, Jess talked to her about the perceived challenges and fears related to entering high school. She made sure to really listen and she helped to address any issues that she felt she could offer some insight to. Jess did not correct her daughter and she was also realistic about the situation—she knew that her daughter’s back to school stress was a real issue and encouraged her daughter to find outlets in which to deal with it. In the end, she was not able to solve her daughter’s stress, but she was able to extend a helping hand and provide ways for her daughter to cope. And, as a parent, that is sometimes all we can really hope for. ■ August/September 2016 INBETWEEN

Bad Friends

BFF FAIL If your teen has a friend that you just canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t stand, here is what you can do to ensure your kid surrounds themselves with positive friendships, while keeping your own relationship in tact. by lara hyde August/September 2016 INBETWEEN

Bad Friends

it’s no secret THAT THE PEOPLE WE HANG OUT WITH influence who we are and how we are perceived, so when it comes to our kids’ friendships, we want them to make good choices. Unfortunately, that’s not always the case. So what should you do if you really can’t stand your teen’s BFF? When Colette Stevens’* 14-year-old daughter, Sophie, was in her final year of elementary school in Ancaster, Ontario, she befriended a girl who was “too advanced for her age,” in Stevens’ opinion. Stevens, whose relationship with her daughter had always been very open, says that Sophie mentioned to her that the girl was experimenting sexually and encouraging her to do the same. “It made me very uncomfortable,” says Stevens, “and I could tell Sophie was uncomfortable with it, too.” So she decided to sit down with Sophie and talk about why her friend might be motivated to act in that way. “We talked about how she might be doing it to feel accepted, to get attention from boys, because of low self-esteem, etc. Then we talked about what Sophie felt she was getting from this friendship. She didn’t have a whole lot to say about that and couldn’t

really give me an answer.” The friendship eventually fizzled out.

TALK IT OUT Gary Direnfeld, an interaction consultant and social worker from Dundas, Ontario, agrees with Stevens’ approach to talk about the situation with her daughter from the standpoint of curiosity and concern, without rushing to make any ultimatums. But he also stresses that these kinds of open dialogues can only be had if we already have a good relationship with our kids. “One of the best ways to protect our kids is to have a good relationship with them from the get-go. Parents need to know if their kids’ needs are being met, and the most effective means to this end is through ongoing, open dialogue. Our kids must never be made to feel they are being interrogated because that is what causes communication lines to shut down.” Stevens believes that by having the conversation with Sophie and not telling her to stay away from her friend, but allowing her to work through her feelings instead, was the right move for her in this situation. By asking her what she was getting out of the friendship, Direnfeld says, Stevens’ daughter was forced to think about the friendship in terms of reciprocity. August/September 2016 INBETWEEN

Bad Friends

“There needs to be some give and take in relationships. They shouldn’t be lopsided or exploitative, where one person gets their needs met at the expense of the other. Friends should be supportive, reasonable and decent. And kids need to learn to resist inappropriate persuasion and to have a mind of their own.” That being said, how much is too much when it comes to intervening in your kids’ friendships? KNOWING YOUR ROLE “Just because our child is friends with someone we might not have chosen for them doesn’t necessarily mean that they will have a bad influence,” says Direnfeld. “We don’t have to like all our kids’ friends, but we do need to keep our kids safe. That is our role as parents.” Parents need to be alert to changes in their child’s behaviour, according to Direnfeld. Such changes may include lower grades, problems at school, secretive behaviour and sneaking around, among other things. “If you are concerned that your child is engaging in risky sexual behaviour, doing drugs, drinking alcohol or skipping school, it is absolutely your right to intervene,” says Direnfeld. Gilbert, Arizona, resident Caroline Turner Jardine has always been big on having honest, open discussions with her children, but with her son Luke in his mid-teens now, she admits it’s become more difficult to have a say in who he hangs out with. “I’ve learned that he really doesn’t understand that I’m speaking from a position

of experience,” says Turner Jardine. That’s a language teenagers can’t comprehend. It’s a harsh realization that your kids are less and less influenced by you and more and more influenced by their peers at this age.” Turner Jardine acknowledges she sometimes feels “helpless” in this regard. But finding ways to encourage her son to seek out new, more appropriate peers has been one of her strategies. “Luke loves basketball, but I wasn’t too impressed with the kids on his high school basketball team this year,” says Turner Jardine. “So even though our schedules are crazy and money is tight, my husband and my son put together a YMCA high school basketball team that competed against other high school-age boys. We got to pick the team ourselves and invited boys we thought were a good group. So, basically, we try to make sure Luke is happy by giving him access to his favourite things and allowing our limited influence to be a part of it. Although it is very time-consuming, I think sometimes we have to create opportunities for our kids to have multiple circles of friends— school friends, church friends, sports friends, whatever they may be.” GET TO KNOW THEIR FAMILIES Although it becomes harder as your children get older and as friendships migrate online, knowing where your children’s friends come from—that is, who their parents and families are—helps keep communication lines open. August/September 2016 INBETWEEN

Bad Friends

“You can phone up the parents of friends of young teens and introduce yourself,” says Direnfeld. “Tell them ‘Here’s what we do at our house—no alcohol, no smoking in the house—the kids can hang out in the basement with the door open, and every once in a while we might pop our head in and throw them some food.’ This is not about interrogating or questioning their parenting, but rather being open and transparent about your own parenting.” “I have tried hard to grab on to the kids that I do like and get to know their families, especially their mothers,” says Turner Jardine. “I have a mother-and-son date coming up with two 16-year-old boys and their moms at a baseball game! We don’t hesitate to text or call each other at any hour of the night if we’re concerned about our boys. We are team parents! We can communicate with each other openly, knowing all we really want is what’s best for our kids,” she adds. BE A ROLE MODEL Our own relationships with our spouses and other adults have a big impact on our kids, says Direnfeld. “We are constantly sending our kids signals for what is acceptable in relationships.” And being a good role model also involves showing empathy. “We want kids to be discriminating when it comes to the people they choose to bring into their lives,” says Direnfeld. “When kids get in with a bad crowd, it can change their

developmental trajectory. Decisions they make can follow them the rest of their lives.” “In saying that,” Direnfeld adds, “We also want our kids to show compassion. Just because someone is troubled doesn’t mean our kids can’t have a relationship with that person. We want them to grow up to be supportive, empathetic individuals.” Turner Jardine tries to find the good in all of her son’s friends, while at the same time reminding Luke of the morals and values on which he was raised. “I think teenagers need as much love as we can give them,” she says. “I don’t mind being a second mom to these boys.” “Teenagers are smarter than we give them credit for,” adds Turner Jardine. “I think if you’re close with your kids they will know what kinds of friends you hope they will choose and, more importantly, why. Maintaining that closeness during the teenage years can be a struggle, but if you were able to instill in your children the importance of surrounding themselves with good people when they were younger and still listening to you, hopefully some of that will stick.” Direnfeld can’t stress enough the merits of having an open door policy when it comes to your kids—making sure they feel comfortable to talk to you about anything without fear of being punished or judged. “If we don’t have a good relationship with our kids, they will go looking for love in all the wrong places.” ■ *Name has been changed August/September 2016 INBETWEEN

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Raising Dad

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COLLEGE CHECK LIST 34 must-haves for your teen’s dorm this September. by jordana handler & stefanie phillips INBETWEEN

Dorm Essentials For many students this September, back to school will mean moving out and starting new. If your teen is moving into a dorm this fall, here is everything heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll need to turn his new abode into a new home.

DORM EAT

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Raising Dorm Essentials Dad

DORM STUDY

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8 1. MacBook, $1,499, apple.com/ca 2. Beats Solo 2 Wireless Headphones, Active Collection, $330, apple.com/ca 3. Clipboard Calendar, $18, indigo.ca 4. RCA 2-in-1 Windows 10 Tablet, $198, walmart.ca 5. Bladis Basket Supplies Caddy, $47, ikea.com/ca 6. IKEA PS 2014 Standing Laptop Station, $70, ikea.com/ca 7. Epson Expression ET-2550 EcoTankâ&#x201E;¢ All-in-One Printer, $400, Epson.ca 8. You Got This Mousepad, $16, fieldtrip.etsy.com August/September 2016 INBETWEEN

DORM ORGANIZE

Raising Dorm Essentials Dad

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1. Rigga Clothes Rack, White, $19, ikea.com/ca 2. Atlas Framed Pinboard, $169, pbteen.com 3. Wire Wall Grid, $72,urbanoutfitters.com 4. Ikea Storage Locker, $129, ikea.com/ca 5. Gunnern Lockable Cabinet, $40, ikea.com/ca 6. Plastic Storage Bins, $6 - $22, walmart.ca 7. Mesh Shower Tote, $13, bedbathandbeyond.com 8. RÃ&#x2026;SKOG Utility cart, $35, ikea.com/ca August/September 2016 INBETWEEN

DORM DECOR

Raising Dorm Essentials Dad

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1. Talk Bubble Magnets, $8, umbra.com 2. Saturday and Monday Two-Pack Pillowcases, $6/pack, walmart.ca 3. Recover Outlier Wireless Speaker, $94, urbanoutfitters.com 4. Arrow Light, $27, walmart.ca 5. Trigg Small Wall Vessel Copper, $35, umbra.com 6. Emily and Merritt Cloud Rug, $159, pbteen.com 7. This Can Be Beautiful book, $25, indigo.ca 8. Get Naked Bath Mat, $49, urbanoutfitters.com 9. Beanbag chair, $40, walmart.ca â&#x2013; August/September 2016 INBETWEEN

Cameron Mathison

COVER STORY

LIGHTS, CAMERON, ACTION ET host and actor Cameron Mathison dishes on Hollywood, home and the scariest part of it all. by rachel naud © CROWN MEDIA UNITED STATES, LLC, PHOTOGRAPHER KATIE YU.

August/September 2016 INBETWEEN

Cameron Mathison

ATCH CAMERON MATHISON in action

and his joie de vivre is incomparable. Whether you know him as Ryan Lavery on All My Children, a competitor on Dancing with the Stars, Bill on Hot in Cleveland or as himself on Good Morning America and Entertainment Tonight, it’s clear Mathison embraces every professional opportunity with vigor, happiness and excitement. The Canadian-born actor and television host dives into new projects with enthusiasm— whether he’s renovating his house with his © CROWNCOURTESY MEDIA UNITED STATES, LLC, PHOTOGRAPHER KATIE YU. PHOTOS OF CAMERON MATHISON

family on the web series Cameron’s House Rules or solving mysteries in the made-forTV Hallmark Movies and Mysteries “Murder, She Baked” series—his passion for his career is sparked as much by the need to stay busy as it is showing his children the importance of working hard and chasing your dreams. “I really push myself and get myself in situations where I’m forced to do my best,” says Mathison. “I try to keep going because I also think that’s good for my kids to see. It takes a lot of effort, a lot of work, a lot of commitment and a lot of drive to be successful.” August/September 2016 INBETWEEN

Cameron Raising Mathison Dad

being a co-host for Entertainment Tonight is the diversity in it. “I love that everyday is different,” he says. “I love that everyday I’m learning new things. Everyday in the studio, I’m hanging with the best of the best. It’s an amazing place. It’s awe-inspiring. It’s wild how much we cover and how much news we’re ahead of.” Another perk to his job—it scores him some serious cool cred with his kids. “I have introduced my son to some Star Wars actors. That was cool,” he laughs. “I also got One Direction’s autograph for my daughter.”

Despite the varied jobs he holds on air, Mathison’s favourite role is that of a family man. He’s been married to his wife, Vanessa, for 14 years and together they are raising their children Leila, 10, and Lucas, 13, in Los Angeles. INBETWEEN sat down with Mathison to talk about his role on ET, staying hands-on at home and his biggest challenge yet—raising teens.

SWITCHING IT UP It’s little surprise with such a varied career that Mathison says one of his favourite aspects of

DISNEYLAND DAD Mathison says he was the fun parent when the kids were younger—the kind of dad that played games, chased them around the house and transformed everyday occurrences into an athome amusement park. Now that the kids are a tween and teen, respectively, Mathison says he’s still a fun dad, albeit he sees a shift in his role. “They don’t really want me around as much,” he says. “But, my daughter still calls me at work and asks when I’m coming home so I can bounce on the trampoline with her and her friends. I still add some fun but, at the same time, relationships are changing as they get a little bit older. I have less time and less energy for that and I think they want less of it as well. But we still have so much fun together.” August/September 2016 INBETWEEN

Cameron Raising Mathison Dad

“I really try to talk to my kids from experience and not from somebody who’s a perfect father.” HANDS-ON PARENTING As a kid growing up in Thornhill, Ontario, Mathison loved and respected his parents—a value he is passing on to his own children. “It’s very important to me that my family feels loved, respected and taken care of,” he says. “I had that as a kid and I knew that no matter what I got myself into—and I got myself into some pretty crazy situations—that my mom and my dad would be there for me and help me. I want to give that same sense of comfort and security that I got as a kid to my kids.” And, as his children enter the often-tumultuous stage of the teenage years, Mathison says this is more important than ever. “I think it’s an important time because you learn so much in the teenage years. You’re going through so many changes and experiences that you’re not used to and it’s good to have someone there who’s been through it to hopefully guide you and give you advice,” he says. “They’re not always going to listen to me, and I’m sure sometimes I get annoying, but I do it as casual and cool as I possibly can and as humbly as I can so it’s not preachy. I really try to talk to my kids from experience and not from somebody who’s a perfect father. Just from somebody who lived life and made mistakes and be someone they can learn from.”

THE FAMILY THAT PLAYS TOGETHER; STAYS TOGETHER Another thing Mathison is passing on to his children is the importance of health and fitness. In fact, the family often keeps busy swimming, hiking, surfing or skiing together. “We definitely expose our kids to a lot of sports and activities but we don’t force them,” he says. “We don’t make them do an organized sport but we make them do something active— even if it’s just being out in the field or going to the beach or riding their bikes.” Mathison, who says fitness plays a big role in his own life, strives to lead by example in order to teach his kids about the importance of being healthy. “I lead by example because that whole ‘do as I say, not as I do’ thing doesn’t work very well. As busy as I am, I get up super early to swim a mile or whatever I do to try and stay fit. It’s such an important thing for longevity and life, but, for sure, there are distractions we all fall victim to. Just getting outside to play is more of an effort now than it was when I was a kid.” Two such distractions: video games and social media. ONLINE ACTIVITY “My son has video games that he likes to play, August/September 2016 INBETWEEN

Cameron Mathison

“I make a serious commitment to being involved as much as I possibly can.” but the rule is however much time he’s active, he can play on his video games. So if he can go out and ride his bike for 30 minutes, he can spend 30 minutes on a video game or whatever. I just came up with that myself so I don’t know if it’s good parenting or not but it seems kind of fair.” While Mathison says he tries to put parameters on his kids’ social media and digital lives, he admits that aspect of teenage life is a scary one. “I guess what scares me the most is that they will lose their innocence too quickly,” he says. “One of my main concerns is about what could happen on the Internet and on their phones. Facebook, social media, and whatever else there is online are scary for me because it’s a big deal for tweens and teens. It’s a bit of an unknown that you can’t really control or monitor. We have rules with being on devices in our house and we’re all on the same iCloud account so that helps with being able to do that.” Another big fear for Mathison: missing it all. “With being so busy at work, I’m afraid I’ll miss it and it’ll kind of just go so quickly, you

know? I make a serious commitment to being involved as much as I possibly can but, with that said, I’m always going to miss things when you’re as busy as I have been lately. I guess that’s a little bit scary for me too.”

LOOKING FORWARD Despite venturing into this unpredictable phase of parenting, Mathison says he’s still looking forward to what’s to come. “I’m looking forward to seeing how much they develop and seeing their interests blossoming,” he says. “I love watching their independence develop and seeing how it manifests. I’m already witnessing my son getting more freedom at 13 and watching how he uses it. I guess that’s what I’m looking forward to most. Just watching their interests develop and their independence grow.” ■ TUNE IN: Watch Cameron Mathison on Entertainment Tonight on CBS. Please check your local listings. August/September 2016 INBETWEEN

inDULGE

Raising Dad

FOSTERING YOUR HEALTH, BODY AND RELATIONSHIP

ANSWERING THE CALL When your teen asks for a cellphone, here’s how to decide if it’s a priority or simply an indulgence. by stefanie phillips

August/September 2016 INBETWEEN

Cell Phones

YOUR TEEN ASKING FOR A CELLPHONE FOR BACK TO SCHOOL? Common Sense Media, a source dedicated to helping parents use the powers of technology positively with their kids, has the answer. It has released seven questions you need to ask yourself before buying your teen a cellphone. 1. Do your kids show a sense of responsibility; such as letting you know when they leave the house? Do they show up when they say they will? 2. Do your kids tend to lose things, such as backpacks or homework folders? If so, expect they might lose a (expensive!) phone, too. 3. Do your kids need to be in touch for safety reasons? 4. Would having easy access to friends benefit them for social reasons? 5. Do you think they’ll use cellphones responsibly— for example, not texting during class or disturbing others with their phone conversations? 6. Can they adhere to limits you set for minutes talked and apps downloaded? 7. Will they use text, photo, and video functions responsibly and not to embarrass or harass others? ■ WHAT WILL YOUR ANSWER BE? Tweet us @inbetweenzine. August/September 2016 INBETWEEN

CAPTURE THE

Final Thrill

moment

Sending your teen off to college is one of life’s milestones. Don’t let it slip by without taking a photo or two because before you know it, it’s gone in a flash.

August/September 2016 INBETWEEN

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