July/August 2017 InRecovery

JULY/AUGUST 2017

ADDICTION AND SPORTS

FORMER DENVER BRONCO

VANCE

JOHNSON’S

VICTORY FROM SUPER BOWL TO SOBRIETY US/CAN $5.99

LARRY SMITH’S

FLIGHT TO

TRANSFORMATION SHAWN BALENTINE’S REMARKABLE

12 STEP JOURNEY HALL OF FAME SWIMMER KARLYN PIPES

THE MIRACLE OF THE DO-OVER

Display until August 31, 2017

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Beware of Wolves in Sheep’s Clothing Marijuana Now Marketed as an Upscale Cure-All. From the CEO’s desk:

JEFFREY FIORENTINO, MAC

I

think it’s interesting, yet tragic, that history repeats itself. The other day, I came across an article in Bloomberg Businessweek entitled “Peddling Weed Like It’s Coca-Cola.” The gist of the story was that the marketing of weed has gone upscale, touting benefits ranging from reducing stress to putting one in the mood for love. It reminded me about something I recently read in Sam Quinones’ book, Dreamland, which documents many of the reasons behind America’s opiate addiction crisis. The parallels were startling.

In the late 1990s, Purdue Pharma began marketing Oxycontin, a pain medication that contains large doses of the opiate, oxycodone. They ran a full court press on the medical community, running all-expenses-paid conferences in exotic locations and tag-teaming doctors over fancy lunches, dinners and events, with the same basic message: “Oxycontin is virtually non-addictive because it is a timed-release medication.”

This was news to doctors who had been taught otherwise in medical school, but they were easily caught up in the hype and convinced by the Purdue Pharma subsidized drug safety studies. The company contacted over 70,000 doctors nationwide, using 1,000 sales reps (mostly beautiful, impeccably dressed women), and gave away gifts, golf outings, spa retreats and free travel, while paying excessive consulting and research fees to leading doctors who bought into the Pharma mindset.

This went on unchecked for six years before the US Department of Health and Human Services began reeling them in.

By 2003, more than half the prescribers of Oxycontin nationwide were primary care doctors, many with little pain management training. Oxy prescriptions InRecovery.com

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rose from 700,000 in 1997 to over 7.2 million in 2002.

Today, we know Pharma’s claims were far from true. The company’s aggressive tactics combined with doctors’ liberal prescription policies, helped create a generation of addicts. While Purdue Pharma did eventually face civil lawsuits and criminal prosecution due to its sales practices, it left a trail of damage in its wake. Despite the lawsuits, the company made $3.1 billion in revenue by 2010.

Now we are seeing a host of companies capitalizing on the legalization of marijuana in 28 states and the District of Columbia with more coming, plus Canada.

They tout “enhanced chocolate,” Epsom salt bath soaks, Dulce de leche bonbons, a vaping pen device that “help(s) you feel just the right amount of good,” and something called Lord Jones 5:1 Pain and Wellness Formula Body Lotion, all containing marijuana derivatives. While many of these products are using lower doses as part of their sales pitch, they’re doing so in an effort to entice new users, emphasizing mild, mood-enhancing qualities.

Seriously? Have we learned nothing?

According to Arcview Market Research, legal marijuana sales are set to increase from $6.7 billion in 2016 (up 34% from 2015) to $18.1 billion over the next few years. Companies are also focusing on brand positioning to target upscale clientele who might be reticent to be associated with the ‘burnt-out stoners’ otherwise driving the legal marijuana market. Time and again, history has proven that a low-dose gateway typically leads to growing tolerance and greater use both in quantity and potency, and so the tragic side of history repeating itself rears its ugly head.

We are now embarking upon a grand national experiment that will have far-reaching consequences. Last year

was the worst on record for opioid addiction, and we are about to start a similar crisis on the cannabis front. I’m most concerned about our kids. Adolescents have easy access to marijuana, and this access is setting them up for a lifetime of problems as they rewire their brains.

It could be the worst failed social experiment ever. As someone involved in addiction treatment, I see the results every day: destroyed families and lost lives. It breaks my heart.

Here at InRecovery Magazine, we’re committed to our mission to be the leading informational resource for addicts and their families as we foster and nurture recovery. Our task is not an easy one, so we ask for your help. Over the course of this year, we will be adding an online newsletter, increasing distribution and transforming our free website.

Please share our message with your friends, and sign up online for our newsletter and the latest information on healthcare, treatment and techniques for maintaining recovery. Together, we can be a voice to be reckoned with. Together, we can create a movement. Together, we can make a difference and support people in achieving a healthy, long-lasting recovery and hopefully help other people avoid addiction altogether.

Jeffrey Fiorentino is a writer, teacher and speaker in the areas of Business, Technology, and Addiction.

He is the CEO of Kipu EMR, an electronic medical records system built specifically in, and for, Addiction and Behavioral Health Treatment. Mr. Fiorentino is also CEO of InRecovery Magazine, and CEO of PingMD, an Android and IOS telehealth app for connecting addicts in aftercare with their addiction treatment professionals and establishing a new intensive one year post treatment “RecoveryBound™” program followed by 4 additional years of aftercare to help addicts in recovery. Mr. Fiorentino graduated first in his class in the Studies of Entrepreneurship, with a BA, from the University of Miami, and Magna Cum Laude with a Masters of Accounting from the Graduate School of Business, at the University of Miami.

InRecovery Magazine July 2017

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The #1 Resource for Addicts and Their Families

Welcome Anna David.

Our New Editor In Chief.

This issue marks the debut of Anna David as our new Editor In Chief.

Anna is the New York Times best-selling author of two novels and four nonfiction books including Party Girl. She has written for the New York Times, The LA Times, Time and Vice, among many other publications, and makes frequent appearance on news and talk shows, including The Today Show, The Talk, The CBS Morning Show and Showbiz Tonight.

Anna brings a fresh, optimistic perspective on the world of recovery. Anna’s voice will be heard on these pages, and on our website, and we’re certain that with Anna at the helm, In-Recovery Magazine and InRecovery.com will move to the next level, establishing us as the #1 resource for addicts and their families. We hope you’ll join us in a hearty welcome. Our goal is to inspire and to inform; and along with Anna David, we continue to bring together the stories you love, written by people just like you.

Subscribe to The Voice Of Addiction Recovery Don’t miss an issue! Get the best writing on the subject of addiction and recovery delivered to your mailbox.

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Read More Online!

Want more? Visit our website and you’ll have access to more content and breaking news headlines in the world of addiction treatment and recovery. You’ll find a complete library of articles from past issues, affirmations, forums, family resources, a treatment center directory and much more. Dozens of topics covered in depth. And while you’re there, don’t forget to sign up for our free newsletter, featuring up-to-the minute news and our most popular stories and articles.

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InRecovery Magazine July 2017

InRecovery.com

6/26/17 10:53 AM

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midwestrecoverycenters.com InRecovery Magazine July 2017

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Infinite Change. Lasting Recovery.

elcome to Infinity Treatment Centers, where men and women pursue genuine, lasting change at our Southern California rehab facilities. Infinity’s luxury accommodations invite privacy and seclusion while offering access to vista hikes, beachfront walks, and urban recreation. With the support of our esteemed clinical team, we provide a full continuum of care, from detox and residential treatment to outpatient therapy and sober living.

Medical Detox

Every individual who comes to one of our Los Angeles locations for addiction treatment has a unique background and set of beliefs. Our team of masters and doctorate level therapists will create a personalized treatment program and closely monitor how the person is responding to each component to make adjustments throughout the treatment process.

Designed for men and women who have already completed residential care, are living at home, and have demonstrated success in recovery, our PHP takes patients to the next level in their sobriety pursuit.

Detox is the beginning of our care continuum: a chance to cleanse your body and prepare for treatment. Clients benefit from around-the-clock clinical support as they jumpstart their recovery journey.

Residential Treatment

With evidenced based cognitive behavioral therapy and psychoeducational groups, 24/7 access to clinicians and therapists, you are invited to pursue personal growth and achieve sustainable sobriety.

Partial Hospitalization Program Intensive Outpatient Therapy

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InRecovery Magazine July 2017

InRecovery.com

6/20/17 1:17 PM

AVOIDING

BURNOUT LAURA O’REILLY

MANAGE

STRESS

When multiple stressors overtake our ability to cope with life’s competing demands, we may fall victim to them.

A

thletes train with dedication to hone and improve their skills. With daily physical practice, they generally enjoy increased strength, mobility, discipline and overall health. While these intense demands may lead to increases in ability, they can also cause overexertion and burnout. Burnout can happen to anyone and is characterized by exhaustion, lack of motivation, withdrawal and/or intense feelings of being overwhelmed. When multiple stressors overtake our ability to cope with life’s competing demands, we may fall victim to them.

While we can’t control all the events of our lives, we can choose how we deal with life on life’s terms. Here are a few selfcare practices to prevent falling victim to burnout and keep you at your best in times of stress:

Get Adequate Sleep With our busy lives and endless to–do lists, it is easy to bite off more than we can chew, leaving us drained of time and energy. Forgetting to prioritize sleep, we run on empty, making it hard to focus and suffering from sore moods. Giving our bodies the gift of adequate rest ensures that we can function optimally, get the most out of our days, and enjoy being fully present. While sleep is important for everyone, it’s even more important when we encounter stress. If you’re guilty of crashing late only to wake up still drained, try implementing a sleep schedule. Set the same daily wake up and bedtime to ensure you get enough time to rest and wake up rejuvenated. It may take a few nights to get on track, but in the long run your body will thank you with feelings of energy and alertness.

Schedule Your Time When we work hard and passionately towards our goals, we sometimes forget to relax and enjoy life.

We can get so caught up in work, that we forget to take time to appreciate the small things and create much needed balance. If you have a particularly stressful schedule, InRecovery.com

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While we can’t control all the events of our lives, we can choose how we deal with life on life’s terms. find one hour that is just for you. Get a massage, or do something that refuels you.

Whether it’s coloring, socializing, catching the latest comedy, or going for a walk with your dog, make time to do something that feeds your soul, lifts your spirits, and leaves you feeling energized. Worried that you’re too busy or that you’ll forget? Put it on the calendar, and prioritize it like you would any other appointment.

Learn to Say ‘NO’ Those two little letters make up a powerful word that we’re sometimes afraid to use, but learning to say no to things that don’t serve us is a great way to honor our needs and show ourselves respect. Setting healthy boundaries encourages us to practice self-care and protects us from overextending ourselves.

We all want to help and contribute, but sometimes the best choice is accepting our limitations and being true to our own needs. If you’re a people pleaser, this may be tricky at first.

Don’t worry! With practice, you’ll see the value of saying no, and you’ll reap the benefits of being in alignment with yourself.

If you’re new to the idea of self-care, this may seem a bit odd. Perhaps, it feels silly to schedule your own bedtime or make a date with yourself. Like all new things, it simply takes practice. So, the next time you feel overwhelmed, take time to slow down, listen to your body, and honor what you need. Give yourself that extra rest, and take the time to enjoy yourself. Your mind, body and spirit will thank you. Trust me.

Laura O’Reilly is a Jamasian (Jamaican-Chinese) yogi and the founder of Potentialize Me Yoga, specializing in yoga for recovering addicts. After becoming sober, she left the corporate world to follow her heart and found her passion in teaching yoga.

Yoga has been a wonderful tool for her own healing, growth and personal development, which drives her desire to make it accessible for everyone. Her daily practices are rooted in spirituality, a desire to serve, and the belief that everything happens for a reason. potentializemeyoga.com

InRecovery Magazine July 2017

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&

Articles

JULY/AUGUST 2017

ADDICTION AND SPORTS

COVER Lost and Found

14 | An Attitude of Whatever

“When I got to treatment, I thought I was surrounded by losers. I had assumed I’d be on a beach with other athletes talking about old times. It wasn’t like that.”

Page 16

22 |Awfulizing Again? by Mark Masserant

as told to Mary Patterson Broome

VANCE JOHNSON

FORMER DENVER BRONCO

VANCE

JOHNSON’S

VICTORY FROM SUPER BOWL TO SOBRIETY US/CAN $5.99

LARRY SMITH’S

FLIGHT TO

TRANSFORMATION SHAWN BALENTINE’S REMARKABLE

12 STEP JOURNEY HALL OF FAME SWIMMER KARLYN PIPES

THE MIRACLE OF THE DO-OVER

CONTENTS Display until August 31, 2017

Feature Stories

Theme

20 | Flight to Transformation

34 | The Sport of Kings

There is no greater satisfaction than helping people rise from the darkness of addiction to a flourishing life in recovery.

My living nightmare became the way to a new freedom. Sharing the joy of surfing, love for the ocean, and building the equipment that allows others to enjoy the ocean has heightened that love.

by Larry Smith

24 | The Courage to Change

by Karlyn Pipes

by Greg Mungall

by Shawn Balentine

Sobriety can be tough, and at eleven years sober, I’ve had to work hard every day to improve.

32 | Unstoppable

by Kurt Angle

As part of the solution to the raging drug crisis in America, we need to end the stigma associated with addiction.

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07 | Feel Your Best: by Laura O’Reilly

While we can’t control all the events of our lives, we can choose how we deal with life on life’s terms.

26 | CrossTalk by Mollé

CrossTalk is based on the premise that recovery life is polytely: frequently complex problemsolving situations characterized by the presence of not one, but several, endings.

36 | Recovery Tools that Work

by Janet A. Hopkins

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46 | My Coupon File by Kathy Miller

Like the glasses I wear to correct my vision, the prescription on my Al-Anon glasses gets stronger each year.

52 | My Lifelong Battle

by B.A. Austin

Turn your low self-esteem into positive self-esteem.

54 | The Power of Fear by Thom Rutledge

60 | Job Done! by Mark Langford

Life does have ups and downs, and that’s okay with me; one day at a time is just fine.

22

14

64 | A Fork in the Road by Lisa Cohen

True recovery takes daily hard work – work that will never be finished. Stick with a program that works for you and develop a long-term support system.

COLUMNS 40 | The Science of Addiction

50 |A Call to Action

The overwhelming number of cases involving abuse of pain medication has doctors and patients alike rethinking the wisdom of blindly prescribing pain meds.

Every day, addiction affects thousands of people: families, neighbors and communities. With your help, we can make a difference.

by Lawrence Scott Hartman

by John Shinholser

44 | Getting Down to Business: A

51 | Grateful Not Smug

Senator Costa has introduced to ensure that addicts have access to the treatment they need.

Nothing changes if nothing changes. What changes?

My attitude. I become more in charge. I become completely in charge. Alcohol is no longer completely in charge.

Visit to Recovery

by Gray Montague

39 | The BookStand Recovery is the subject

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What will TrumpCare mean for the future of addiction treatment?

by Dr. Dan L. Edmunds

I spent all my waking hours, and hours I should’ve been sleeping, completely dedicated to a job that never gave anything back – a job named Addiction.

InRecovery Magazine July 2017

What’s Next for Addiction Treatment?

by Harry Nelson

Overcoming a lack of validation and identity is the key to opening the door to immense possibilities in recovery.

48 | Everyday Miracle: The Job

8

42 | From ObamaCare to TrumpCare:

56 | The Keys to Restoration

Your potential to achieve happiness depends on finding ways to learn more about yourself.

of countless books, blogs, films, CDs and apps.

“Just what the world needs now . . . smart people with brain damage.”

We all know fear. Fear is our constant companion, our day-to-day nemesis and our ultimate challenge.

There is no right or wrong way, and we can have as many do-overs as we like. Do them the same way each time or have the courage do them differently; the choice is yours.

28 | The Journey

I still have that attitude in my head of “whatever” – whatever comes at me, I am in the mode of acceptance.

by Lynlee Kruse

by Michael Lyding

58 | A Deadly Disease

by J. T. Claremont

I lived in shame, fear and guilt. Despite all of that, I did not want to change.

InRecovery.com

6/26/17 11:02 AM

Doctor-owned, medically supervised mindfulness-based addiction treatment program located in Orange County, CA

MINDFULNESS-BASED

SATORI

RECOVERY CENTER We believe that people often fall into addiction in an attempt to escape painful thoughts, feelings, memories, and situations. Mindfulness, which has its roots in Buddhism, involves a purposeful and nonjudgmental focus on one’s thoughts, feelings, and experiences in the present moment.

Mindfulness teaches individuals to engage in conscious and deliberate focus on difficult emotions as a way to disarm them and interrupt maladaptive behavior patterns like drug or alcohol use.

Are you or a loved one struggling with addiction? Call us now. We can help.

844-320-5013

satorirecoverycenter.com

A Mission of Mindful Recovery

At Satori Recovery Center, we believe that individuals are not broken but that they have lost balance in their lives. Our mission is to take a “whole-person, whole-life” approach by offering a transformative treatment program to enable clients to regain balance in their lives. By bringing about a conscious state of awareness, our clients learn to engage in the present while letting go of recurring thoughts about the past and worry about the future. Mindfulness meditation practice allows an individual to be present in their life experiences and is a primary teaching at Satori Recovery Center. All clients are instructed in the practice of meditation and are encouraged to experience conscious states of deep silence and surrender. The transformative effect of meditation greatly improves impulse control and frustration tolerance. Balance is achieved by waking up to the present moment, hence the name Satori, which means “Awakening”.

Rehabilitation Groups

We prefer a nurturing approach, with an emphasis on education and empowerment to move forward.

We are here to help clients put this phase of their life behind them

Detoxification

Your personal history and circumstances make your addiction unique to you. This service is tailored to you and focuses on providing the necessary services to assist you in regaining your health - in mind, body, and spirit

Individual Therapy and EMDR

Each client engages in weekly individual therapy sessions to identify the underlying issues that have resulted in addiction or continual relapse. We also offer EMDR therapy to assist with processing past trauma and mental health issues such as anxiety and depression.

SATORI

RECOVERY CENTER

844-320-5013 satorirecoverycenter.com

SATORI Recovery Center InRecovery.com

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2760 Park Ave. Laguna beach, CA 92651

src@satorirecovery.com InRecovery Magazine July 2017

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6/20/17 1:19 PM

FROM THE

EDITOR

C

onfucius once said, “Choose the work you love and you’ll never have to work another day.” That has been true for me. Throughout my career, I have been blessed with work I love in mental health and addiction services, with inspiring employers and mentors in this field. After my retirement from the healthcare field, Kim Welsh gave me the opportunity to create yet another job, which combined my love for recovery with my two passions: reading and writing.

It doesn’t get any better than that.

However, all good things must come to an end. As of this issue, I will be retiring (for good this time!) to pursue . . . not much of anything. While it will be strange not to be chained to my computer, I do have a few projects in the works. I’m glad most of my IRM coworkers live nearby. Our edit parties will have to continue, though with more party and no editing!

From here on out, my focus will shift from editing to my family and friends.

My sister and her husband have purchased a house in my neighborhood, and David and I are looking forward to more time together doing some beach-sitting, sailing, and perhaps some fence building thrown in to the mix. I know, it sounds like so much WORK. 10

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InRecovery Magazine July 2017

My thanks to all of you who have made this job the most fun, interesting and inspirational journey of my career. The stories, art and articles you have shared with me are gifts that I will treasure always. A special thanks to our faithful readership who have kept us going through thick and thin.

Thanks for believing in what we do.

I hope to cross paths with you as we trudge the road of happy destiny.

The recovering athletes whose stories grace this issue have filled me with gratitude for the many people with whom I have joined hands in the grand adventure of recovery. I wish you could have joined me as I interviewed Vance Johnson, a former wide receiver for the Denver Broncos, for our cover story. I am honored to know him. The delightful swimmer, Karlyn Pipes, shares her moving story in “The Courage to Change.” It’s hard to imagine a world without their beautiful spirits and powerful recoveries.

In “The Journey,” stuntman, Shawn Balentine, takes us on his journey to find true freedom in his recovery: the freedom to be himself. I am sure his story will inspire many to find their way to a new freedom, too. Larry Smith, “Flight to Transformation,” found freedom when he got busted and sent to jail.

Photo by Casey Mackenzie

JANET A. HOPKINS

Me and my sister

On a lighter note, Mark Masserant, a regular writer for InRecovery, shares his humorous observations of early recovery in “Awfulizing Again?” where being “suggestion-proof ” was definitely a handicap. While he awfulized about his life, his problems piled up.

We’ve all been there.

This truly is a stellar issue, and I wish I had more space to mention every article. I’m glad to be going out with a bang.

Now it’s time for me to say goodbye.

It’s been an honor and a privilege.

Subscribe to inRecovery today and save 70% off the cover price.

Just go to our website and sign up. inrecovery.com

InRecovery.com

6/21/17 2:54 PM

Top of Mind THE ABCs OF ADDICTION LAWRENCE SCOTT HARTMAN, JD

It’s tough to be a parent nowadays. We try hard not repeat the mistakes our parents made but we seem to invent our own along the way.

However, there’s one area in which we can’t afford to make mistakes, and that is addiction prevention. It’s critical we do our part. Let’s take a look at what we NEED to do for the sake of our children and generations to come.

Make it clear from the outset that you are against underage drinking and illicit drugs.

PERIOD! Even if you imbibed or dabbled as a teenager yourself, we know so much more today about how dangerous it is. Kids are now tempted by fancy packaging of high alcohol content lemonade, apple cider and a rainbow color array of wine coolers. Marijuana is now more potent and cheaper than ever, sold as innocent little bon bons and gummy bears. You are not being a hypocrite, just an informed adult. One discussion is not enough, this must remain a constant theme.

Explain exactly why drugs and alcohol are such problems. The human brain does not fully develop until the age 25. So much permanent damage can be caused before then, including the permanent lowering of someone’s IQ. Is it really worth it?

Provide both positive and negative reinforcement. Let your child know about the severe consequences ranging from loss of a Smartphone to grounding. These are privileges you allow them, not rights. You need to imagine them as adults thanking you later for the tough love that kept them on track. You also need to provide positive reinforcement

in the form of trips, activities and things they want, in exchange for good grades and living a healthy lifestyle.

Get involved in your kid’s life. You can’t expect to be an absentee parent and have your child follow your every word. You begin with every advantage in winning your kid’s heart and mind, but are eventually competing with peer groups. You lose the balance of power if you only pop in once a week. Don’t just love your child, let her know it with quality time together.

Don’t assume that you have a good kid who would never drink or do drugs. 42 percent of 8th graders and 68 percent of 12th graders believe using marijuana is not harmful (lifehacker.com). Moreover, 28 percent of 8th graders and 68 percent of 12th graders reported trying alcohol at least once. There are plenty of sweet, innocent looking Suzies, Brads and Brittanys regularly fooling their parents.

Build up your child’s self-esteem. It’s getting harder and harder out there to say “no”. More teens are engaging in this behavior than ever, it’s tough to be the ‘odd man out’. Help teach your son or daughter to have a backbone and that people will like them regardless. They also need to be taught how to distinguish fake friends from real ones - it’s not a talent one is born with.

Do things together. Whether it’s charity work, watching a movie (either on addiction or for entertainment purposes) going to a ballgame, or whatever. You have no idea the power you

have with your child. He has idolized you since birth, he wants to be YOU. Give him the chance, show him the real you and how important it is to you that he not drink or do drugs. No one can do it better than you!

W RNING SIGNS

If you think your child might be drinking or doing drugs, here are some signs to be on the lookout for. If you see the signs, engage him or her in a conversation and try to steer your child toward treatment. The earlier you catch addiction, the easier it is to guide him or her on a fruitful road to recovery.

1. Weight loss or gain, or changes in sleep patterns.

2. Facial changes such as chapped lips, red and baggy eyes or dry skin.

3. Not caring about his or her hygiene or looks.

4. Unusual smells from his or her skin or her clothing.

5. Hyperactivity, fatigue, or (and particularly) a staggered combination of both.

6. Regular headaches, nausea or sickness.

7. Unusual injuries, burns or bruises.

8. A drop off in your child’s grades.

9. Depression or anxiety.

10. Poor short-term memory.

11. Slurred speech or disjointed story telling.

InRecovery Magazine July/August 2017 Issue

CEO

President/Publisher

Jeffrey Fiorentino

Outgoing Editor in Chief

Janet A. Hopkins

Incoming Editor in Chief

Anna David

Creative Director

Dan Brown

EVP Business Development

Senior Copyeditor

Production Manager

Kim Welsh

Bruce Matthews Barbara Schuderer Nestor Suarez

Copyeditors

Marieke Slovin Mary Locke

Marketing Director

Nestor Suarez

Subscriptions

Layout/Design

Errol Naraine

Feel Your Best

Laura O’Rielly

PFS Mags

CrossTalk

The Science...

Larry Hartman

Call to Action

John Shinholser

Meditation

Tools that Work

Getting Down to Business

Everyday Miracle

InRecovery.com

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Stephanie Moles

Miki Lyding Janet Hopkins Gray Montegue Lynlee Kruse

444 Brickell Avenue, Suite 850, Miami, Fl 33131 InRecovery.com

InRecovery Magazine is published 6 times a year by InRecovery, Inc, 444 Brickell Avenue, Suite 850, Miami, Fl 33131. Subscription rates (US dollars): 1 year $9.99, 2 year $16.99 in the United States and Possessions; 1 year $37.95, 2 year $65.95 in Canada and Mexico; all other countries $41.95 for 1 year, $73.95 for 2 years. Single copies (prepaid only): $5.99 in US, $5.99 in Canada and Mexico and $9.99 in all other countries. All rates include shipping and handling. See website for subscription details. The magazine is published by founder Kim Welsh, printed in the US by American Web and distributed by Disticor Magazine Distribution Services. ©2017 InRecovery Magazine, Inc. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including by photocopy, recording, or information storage and retrieval without permission in writing from the publisher. For use beyond those listed above, please direct your written request to Permission Dept., email: editor@inrecovery.com InRecovery Magazine does not verify any claims or other information appearing in any of the advertisements contained in the publication and cannot take responsibility for any losses and other damages incurred by readers in reliance of such content. Publication of any advertisement is not to be construed as an endorsement of the product or service offered.

InRecovery Magazine (IRM) reserves the right to editorial control of all articles, stories and letters to the Editor. InRecovery Magazine assumes no responsibility for errors within its publication. The opinions expressed are those of the authors and do not necessarily represent the policies of IRM and should not be construed as endorsements. Furthermore IRM will not be responsible for any claims, losses or damages (whether direct or indirect) arising out of or relating to the use of or reliance on the contents of this magazine.

InRecovery Magazine July 2017

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6/26/17 11:14 AM

BIG PHARMA PAIN PILL INVESTIGATIONS FACT FILE

AND THE

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any of us watch the opioid epidemic unfold and wonder why no one is being held accountable. Purdue Pharma, the manufacturer of Oxycontin, arguably the single largest contributor to the opioid crisis, made billions of dollars but was only fined slightly more than $700 million for making statements “inconsistent” with approved prescribing information.

No one went to jail. ‘How did they get off so easy?’ Well, if Senator Claire McCaskill of Missouri has her way, that might all be about to change.

Senator Claire McCaskill of Missouri

Sen. McCaskill is pursuing this issue through a committee that oversees issues of homeland security and governmental affairs. She has written 5 big pharmaceutical companies including Purdue, demanding corporate documents going back over 5 years. The goal is to get to the bottom of ‘who knew what, and when’ in terms of addictive properties and questionable sales practices connected to opioids being peddled

by Big Pharma.

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600 H

People STARTED MISUSING an opioid pain medication for the first time TODAY.

This is not the only investigation currently underway. The US Department of Justice is investigating allegations of kickbacks encouraging doctors to prescribe pain meds and defrauding insurance companies in the process. This past December, former senior staff at Insys Therapeutics were charged with just such a conspiracy and more indictments may be forthcoming. The DEA is also spearheading an effort to prevent ‘diversion’, the transfer of prescription medicine to third parties for illicit use. McKesson, a large pharmaceutical distributor, was fined $150 million for failing to report suspicious large orders of drugs.

More than 33,000 people died of opioid overdoses last year. The majority of heroin addicts say they first became addicted as a result of using prescription opioids. This is a black eye on our country and way of life, yet Big Pharma keeps making money hand-over-fist. It’s about time we began to show our outrage.

Please post this article to Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, wherever you can. We need to assist Sen. McCaskill and others in their mission to fight addiction.

“Misuse” includes use without a prescription or taking the drug for the feeling or “high” it causes. Examples include using another person’s prescription or using “saved” medications from a previous medical condition.

InRecovery Magazine July 2017

ealth care providers in some states prescribed far more painkillers than those in other states in 2012.

Southern states had the most prescriptions per person for painkillers, especially Alabama, Tennessee, and West Virginia. The Northeast, especially Maine and New Hampshire, had the most prescriptions per person for longacting and high-dose painkillers.

Nearly 22 times as many prescriptions were written for oxymorphone (a specific type of painkiller) in Tennessee as were written in Minnesota.

What might be causing this?

Health care providers in different parts of the country don’t agree on when to use prescription painkillers and how much to prescribe.

Some of the increased demand for prescription painkillers is from people who use them nonmedically (using drugs without a prescription or just for the high they cause), sell them, or get them from multiple prescribers at the same time.

Many states report problems with for-profit, high-volume pain clinics (so-called “pill mills”) that prescribe large quantities of painkillers to people who don’t need them medically.

259

MILLION

WHAT CAN BE DONE? Health care providers can...

Use prescription drug monitoring programs (now available in 41 states) to identify patients who might be misusing their prescription drugs, putting them at risk for overdose.

Use effective treatments such as methadone or buprenorphine for patients with substance abuse problems.

Discuss with patients the risks and benefits of pain treatment options, including ones that do not involve prescription painkillers.

Follow best practices for responsible painkiller prescribing, including: Screening for substance abuse and mental health problems.

Avoiding combinations of prescription painkillers and sedatives unless there is a specific medical need.

Prescribing the lowest effective dose and only the quantity needed depending on the expected length of pain.

Everyone can...

Avoid taking prescription painkillers more often than prescribed.

Dispose of medications properly, as soon as the course of treatment is done, and avoid keeping prescription painkillers or sedatives around “just in case.”

Help prevent misuse and abuse by not selling or sharing prescription drugs.

Never use another person’s prescription drugs.

Health care providers wrote 259 million prescriptions for painkillers in 2012.

InRecovery.com

6/20/17 1:23 PM

Tired of Hiding Behind Drugs and Alcohol?

Ready to Reveal Your True Self?

Call Us. We Can Help.

800.387.6907 InRecovery.com

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beginningstreatment.com InRecovery Magazine July 2017

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6/21/17 11:27 AM

AN ATTITUDE OF

WHATEVER MARY PATTERSON BROOME

T

arek Griess has been clean and sober since July 23, 2013. Born and raised in an Egyptian family living in a predominantly white, upper-middle class neighborhood just east of Seattle, Washington. Tarek never felt that his ethnicity set him apart. He had great friends and excelled both academically and athletically. As salutatorian of his graduating class, he had his pick of elite East Coast colleges, but opted instead to play football at nearby University of Washington. There, Tarek landed a 4.0 GPA and admission to medical school at The George Washington University.

Two years into medical school, at age 24, Tarek was introduced to cocaine. “I’d been very much against drug use. I had experimented with marijuana and LSD, but that was it,” he recalled. “I was in the right place at the right time, or the wrong place at wrong time, depending on how you look at it. If I had known at the time what it was going to do to me, I would have recoiled from it.”

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InRecovery Magazine July 2017

InRecovery.com

6/20/17 1:26 PM

Chasing the high overtook school obligations, and cocaine quickly became a priority. He was completely unaware that addiction was taking hold. Friends and family began noticing the change in his behavior; and with their encouragement, he went to the dean of the medical school, admitting he needed help. That led to his first stint in treatment in 1995, an experience he now describes as relatively uneventful. “Early on in the course of my disease progression, I was separated from the chemical, so I appeared normal.”

Tarek was introduced to the Twelve Step program, but the internal shift never occurred. “There is a difference between intellectually processing the Steps and internally digesting the Steps. I most definitely didn’t spiritually digest the Steps; or if I did, it was on a superficial level.” After 90 days of treatment, Tarek returned sober and ready to finish medical school. However, three years into sobriety, while in a surgical residency in Charleston, South Carolina, Tarek was emotionally triggered and decided to have a couple of drinks.

Within a day, he was smoking crack.

Active in his addiction for a mere three months, his medical license was suspended and he landed in a homeless shelter in Charlotte, North Carolina. Baffled by his own circumstances, he developed a newfound sense of willingness. “I should have felt far more depressed and hopeless than I actually did,” he said. “I got there and heard the music. I really participated in getting sober. I felt that everything was going to get better.”

After being at the Charlotte Rescue Mission for six months, Tarek began reapplying to residency programs, staying sober and “doing the AA deal.” None of the surgical residencies would accept him based on his record, but anesthesia programs had a history of taking people struggling with addiction or in active recovery. The University of Texas in Houston invited Tarek to finish his residency there. With just over a year clean, he returned to his chosen field of work. He asked his girlfriend from Charleston to join him in Houston, where they were married in 2000.

By the time he finished residency, Tarek had two and a half years clean and was actively involved in a Twelve Step program.

He then moved to Nevada to practice medicine, and his recovery took a back seat. “The gifts of sobriety took me away InRecovery.com

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from sobriety. I had a paying job, a pretty wife and a pretty life; the importance of spiritual development and engagement in the recovery process was not part of my life at all.”

During a trip to Hawaii, Tarek decided to have a few drinks with his wife – a choice he remembers well. “The worst thing that could happen happened – I had a good time.” Viewing his venture back into drinking a success, he still knew he’d have to tread lightly when he returned home.

I still have that attitude in my head of “whatever” – whatever comes at me, I am in the mode of acceptance.

At first, it was just drinking on vacations; this turned into drinking on weekends. Before long, he was drunk more often than not, but worked hard to hide it. “I never thought I’d be the guy hiding a bottle of vodka, but I hid bottles in the garage,” he recalled. Eventually he found himself drunk, trying to score cocaine in downtown Reno. Now with the pocketbook to support his habit, he began using again.

His wife left him, and he ended up at Talbot Recovery Campus in Atlanta, Georgia, mostly with the hope of winning back his wife. When he got home from treatment, she returned, but with trepidation. Despite her return, his intact medical license, and support from the partners in his practice, depression overtook him. Six weeks later, he relapsed.

After an emergency suspension of his medical license, Tarek went into an eightyear freefall from 2005 to 2013, where he cobbled together some sobriety, only to relapse due to a self-described “failure to launch.”

Unable to work in the field of medicine because of his choices, but overqualified or wrongly qualified in most other fields, his inability to find secure employment drove him to the brink. In 2011, Tarek’s father passed away, leaving him with an inheritance that took everything to a new level.

“I had a voracious cocaine addiction – over an ounce a day for over two years straight,”

Tarek admitted. “To this day, my feet still tap all the time because of nerve damage.”

Tarek suffered through periods of homelessness, dumpster diving and finding shelter underneath trailers. He was arrested seven times, and the last arrest was a turning point. In jail, Tarek experienced a moment of clarity while reading Rick Warren’s A Purpose Driven Life. “I would cry my eyes out in my jail cell reading that book,” Tarek recollected. “I had a different attitude than I’d ever had before. I didn’t have a clue how my life was going to unfold, but I knew that I didn’t know what was best for me.”

When Tarek went for treatment after jail, he adopted an attitude of whatever – he would do whatever, completely unattached to what the future held. He relied heavily on others and used the Twelve Steps as a method to heal. “At first, nothing got better at all,” he admitted. “I became a very, very active alumni member, though, helping other people in every way I could because it distracted me from the misery of my own experience.”

With 18 months sober, Tarek was asked to take over as director of the facility. Shortly thereafter, he joined a diverse group of men in the process of trying to open a new outpatient network, and Beginnings Treatment Centers was born. Now the COO of the program, Tarek shared, “I started to see the grace of God in my life and realized I had gone through all these experiences in order to really be able to connect on a human level with the hundreds of people who would be put in front of me.”

Today, Tarek attends at least four meetings a week, sponsors other men and sees his own sponsor almost daily. His most important tool is staying humble. “I do very much the same things that I used to do when I was first getting sober. I still have that attitude in my head of whatever – whatever comes at me, I am in the mode of acceptance. I had no clue I’d end up where I am; I put one foot in front of other, followed the stream of life, and things turned out fine. This powerful sense of faith keeps me sober.”

Mary Patterson Broome is a writer and standup comedian based in Los Angeles. She has written for the Emmy-nominated AOL Originals’ Making a Scene with James Franco and WE TV’s Sex Box. She is a regular contributor to Women’s Health Magazine Online and the Senior Editor at RehabReviews.com.

InRecovery Magazine July 2017

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6/20/17 1:26 PM

LOST AND FOUND My name is Vance Johnson, and I am an alcoholic.

VANCE JOHNSON

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M

y father was an alcoholic New Jersey gang-banger who got into a lot of trouble in the 1950s. To avoid jail time, he went into the army and was stationed at Ft. Huachuca in southern Arizona. The Army straightened him out, and he put aside his old ways – at least for a while.

One night at a party, he met a young lady.

He was 21; she was 15. He visited her in Marana, Arizona, where she picked cotton for 16 cents a day. A romance soon blossomed. He asked her to marry him in her sophomore year. Her father gave his blessing. When he got out of the service a few years later, they moved back to New Jersey. I was born in 1963 and spent my childhood in Trenton.

Shortly after the move, my father went back to his old ways and began abusing my mother. They separated, and she brought me back to Arizona, leaving my dad in New Jersey. He followed sometime later, and convinced her to move back to the East Coast. My sister was born shortly thereafter.

kill him. I did end up kicking his ass, but his behavior didn’t change.

In 1976, Mom left him for good and we moved to Tucson, Arizona, where I attended high school and continued to excel in sports, particularly football and track.

My father moved there after a while, but he couldn’t persuade my mom to live with him again.

In my senior year, at the urging of my coach, I accepted an athletic scholarship to the University of Arizona. This gave me the chance to go to college and play sports while staying close to home. The following spring, I won the National Collegiate Athletic Association (NCAA) long jump competition. I excelled in football in my senior year and was one of the collegiate athletic conference top receivers. Through high school and college, I never smoked weed, drank or took drugs. Sports were my high.

My domestic problems were always related to drugs. Through the years, I was married and divorced several times. I was an absentee father to my children. My finances were a mess; I was bouncing checks and falling behind on child support. I also went to jail after crashing into one wife’s car.

Through all this I called myself a believer, but I sure didn’t act like one. Somehow, no one realized I was an addict, including me.

I ran. It was a high for me. Somedays I ran so much that I would pass out; I was just a young kid running from what he was experiencing. I would disappear into my own head. It was my escape.

I started getting involved in more sports so I wouldn’t have to be at home. The chaos seemed less when I was winning, when I was the hero. Sports became everything to me. I’d play and practice from 10 AM to 11 PM; I even had a key to the gym. I was doing really well, often placing at the top in the state and even the country.

InRecovery.com

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My girlfriend and I got married in Vegas.

At practice sometime later, I overheard the guys talking smack about my wife. I ran home screaming and yelling and pushed her into a closet door. She hit her head and fell down unconscious; I thought she was dead. I carried her into the bathroom and splashed water on her face. Even after she came to, I was still angry and began punching the walls, just like my father used to do. Our marriage ended not long thereafter.

By this time, I was getting high and using whatever I could to cope, but was careful not to get caught. I’d sober up on my way to the weekend games. Sometimes I’d get pulled over, but I’d offer the cops tickets to the games and managed to skate by without an arrest. But, my life was a wreck and getting worse.

The abuse continued. Our family was deeply traumatized by the horrors of domestic violence. The beatings were bad: lots of screaming, crying and bedlam. My beautiful, saintly mother suffered terribly.

I didn’t have a good relationship with my father and feared I might grow up to be like him, an abusive, womanizing addict.

I didn’t want to be like him, but I didn’t know how to be any other way in a relationship, so I stayed away from girls. At 15, I decided to avoid any kind of relationship with sex and women. I just didn’t want it.

When I got big enough and strong enough to stand up to my father, I threatened him, telling him that if he hurt Mom again, I’d

My first year in the NFL, I started dating a woman. We had been dating for a short time when, after a bad game where I dropped a punt, she told me she was pregnant. The next day, on the way to practice with some teammates, we stopped at a liquor store. My friends bought tequila, and I decided to try it. That tequila led to daily drinking mixed with the pills I took for anxiety.

After graduating in 1984, I went to the Olympic Trials in track and was selected as an alternate. I could have gone to the next Olympics, but instead I decided to try out for professional football. I wanted to make some money! I entered the 1985 National Football League (NFL) draft and was picked up by the Denver Broncos in the second round. The stress was tremendous.

In 1996, a year after my career in football was over, I tried to commit suicide. There I was, driving down a highway, crazy high and hallucinating. By then I was using drugs to manage all the craziness in my head, but it wasn’t working. When I got home, I pulled off all my clothes and lay naked in my garage, paranoid and banging my head on the ground as I cut my wrists.

I called my attorney for help and told him I was losing my mind. I was desperate; to this day, I don’t know how I survived.

Continued InRecovery Magazine July 2017

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6/26/17 11:39 AM

VANCE JOHNSON Continued It was clear I needed a fresh start, so I moved to Grand Junction, Colorado, leaving my kids with their various moms. In 2007, after my fifth divorce, I remarried and tried to settle down with my new wife and my three now-teenaged sons. Running from my addictions, I scaled down the drinking, opened a couple of businesses and started attending church with my family. Although I had already damaged so many lives, I continued womanizing, smoking weed, drinking and taking pills.

My oldest son, Vaughn, who would always say, “I want to be like you, Dad,” was attending college in Grand Junction. Having blown the engine in his car, he was working for me to earn money for the repairs.

One morning, he decided to take his motorcycle up to Ft. Collins to visit his grandfather.

When I got to treatment, I thought I was surrounded by losers. I had assumed I’d be on a beach with other athletes talking about old times.

It wasn’t like that.

I was in the bar drinking Patrón at my restaurant when my ex-wife called me.

“I’m broken,” she said. “Our son is dead.”

Vaughn had been hit and killed by a drunk driver who ran a stop sign. I fell to my knees. I drank the whole bottle of tequila, then another, and walked through the restaurant and out the front door.

My father threatened to kill me because I was acting so crazy, so I threw him on the ground outside the restaurant. Life as I knew it was over. I was never again the same person.

I used to think I would get through it, but now I don’t want to!

I blamed my dad. I blamed myself for not fixing the car that Vaughn should have been driving. Over the following two years, I drank, smoked, took pills and had relations with anyone who wanted to be with me. Slowly, but surely, I was killing myself.

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InRecovery Magazine July 2017

When 2012 rolled around, I was going through yet another divorce and hurting emotionally and physically. My bloodwork was off, so my mom took me to the hospital where I fell into a coma. I remained in a drug induced coma for 26 days. My pastor prayed over me, my daughter and sister said their goodbyes. No one thought I would make it.

There I was, 50 years old, tied to a hospital bed. During rare moments of clarity, I wondered if this was how it was all going to end. As I lay in that bed, I had visions of dark shadows walking in the room as if to take me with them when I passed from this world. They came every day, but they never took me.

My journey was not just about becoming sober. I knew that I could not maintain my sobriety if I didn’t continue to learn about the disease and about my own spirit. When I left rehab, I stayed away from fame, the Broncos and everything that had destroyed my previous life. I went to meetings and really listened.

When I was finally released from the hospital, I thought I could go back and work like I did when I was young. I tried this for a while. Things began to turn around again.

A treatment program offered me a job for $200 per week and a bus pass. At the same time, the Broncos offered me $2,000 per week to represent them around the country. I called my mother. “I’m not worried,” she said. “You’ll do the right thing.” I did. I got on the plane to Tampa for the $200 per week paycheck.

One day, I went golfing with some friends and decided I could have a drink. From that moment, everything went downhill fast. I quickly graduated to weed, more alcohol, and pills to help me not drink so much. Before long, I was peeing in glasses and on myself; puking blood; and even drinking from glasses of pee, which I mistook for whiskey in my drunkenness.

In early 2014, I was drunk and driving down the road, crying and screaming to God to help me. I had no money, no kids, no relationships, nothing to leave behind.

I reached out to the NFL. They called Randy Grimes, a former center for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Randy had turned his life around and was working as an interventionist in North Palm Beach, Florida.

The NFL sent me to treatment. When I got there, I was surrounded by losers. I had assumed I’d be on a beach with other athletes talking about old times. It wasn’t like that.

One day, a voice in my head told me that I was sick, but I could get sober if I accepted the help being offered to me. I began seeing my peers in a different light. As they talked, I listened and began to understand my own underlying issues. I attended church and got into the Scriptures.

I walked in His light and understood that I needed to become “sober-minded.”

God gave me my true self back. I found my son Vaughn’s grave and promised him that I’d never allow another young man to lose his life like I did. Today, I speak around the country. I talk about my life, my children, what happened to me, and how things changed for me when I learned about my addiction. I tell people that they can change their lives, too.

Today, I am married, and love my wife. We have amazing children, a twelve-year-old daughter and an eight-year-old son. My wife comes first, then all my kids, then my job. God encapsulates all of it. Though sometimes things are tough, I never stop the journey. I attend meetings where there are newcomers. I’m involved in recovery every day – it’s my daily lifestyle. I hope you will walk with me in this battle to end addiction.

Vance Johnson is a certified sober coach, a sober escort and interventionist. Off the football field, he is now reaching out across America and the world via social media to break stigma and lead people to sobriety, one family at a time.

He is also a speaker at churches, drug court graduations and high schools, and has been a guest on national TV shows including Oprah and Dr. OZ. Johnson is a member of the Mercer County Task Force which brings awareness of the pitfalls of addiction to surrounding high schools and town hall meetings in New Jersey. https://www.facebook.com/vancejohnson82/

InRecovery.com

6/20/17 1:28 PM

Book Review

A Metamorphosis Dragons to Butterflies: A Metamorphosis of a Man. MARY LOCKE

There are a multitude of autobiographies out there, all chronicling their authors’ stories of recovery: “What it was like, what happened, and what it is like now.” For this reason, when a colleague recommended that I read Dragons to Butterflies, I thought I knew what to expect: the usual familiar read of a fellow traveler’s recovery success story.

Before diving in, I looked over the book, flipping through the pages and wondering, what makes Johnnie Calloway’s From Dragons to Butterflies so different? In reading the acknowledgments alone, I began to feel it. Rather than just a list of names with little blurbs beside them, Mr. Calloway’s thanks were letters of gratitude to individuals and groups who helped and influenced him along the way. I was intrigued.

Calloway’s story really began when he was five years old, and his sister brought him to the hospital to see his dying mother. “Come give Momma a goodbye kiss.” Looking at this woman with a big, disgusting blister on her lip that resembled “snot” and who no longer resembled his “Momma,” he turned his back and said, “No, I don’t want to.”

He had no idea that this would be the InRecovery.com

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last time he would see her, and Johnnie’s five-year-old mind quickly took on the blame for his mother’s death.

“If I’d just kissed her . . ..”

My metamorphosis has been at times incredibly beautiful and excruciatingly painful but always full of life and passion.

Calloway went on to describe life in his chaotic, dysfunctional home. With an alcoholic father who was abusive – physically, verbally and sexually – Calloway built his fire of anger, pain and guilt. With his father’s admonition that Johnnie was to blame for his mother’s death and the message, “You are nothing but a Calloway, and you’ll never amount to anything,” young Johnnie set out to make these accusations true.

The author takes the reader on his journey into and out of drugs, alcohol, and the law. When he was sent to a boy’s camp, Johnnie experienced clear

and consistent rules and consequences and catches the first glimmer of a different life. It was when he finally got sober that the real difference of this tale becomes apparent.

Calloway goes into detail of how he met and built relationships with his sponsor and mentors. He takes the reader along with him as he recounts how he worked each of the Twelve Steps. He incorporates Program slogans and idioms to illustrate how they applied to his life. He makes clear what it means to “seek outside help,” which he did through A Course in Miracles, doctors, and various experiential therapies like “Rebirthing.”

Dragons to Butterflies tells us that sobriety isn’t the end of the story. Calloway’s honesty and simplicity are refreshing. Describing a clear path to sobriety and a sometimes not so clear path to relapse, his story is one of ego versus humility, anger versus forgiveness, and the process of putting one foot in front of the other as the only way to get from one side to the other.

If you’re looking for flowery language or dramatic gravity, you aren’t going to find it here. Calloway has written his story in a simple, this-is-where-Ilive style. His honest and open style of writing is both engaging and endearing. Well before the end of the book, I felt like we were close friends.

Calloway helped many people with his first book, Taming the Dragon. With Dragons to Butterflies, I’m sure that he will be helping even more with his inspiration and passion.

In the postscript, Calloway states, “My metamorphosis has been at times incredibly beautiful and excruciatingly painful but always full of life and passion.” I believe him.

Dragons to Butterflies: A Metamorphosis of a Man Johnnie Calloway Balboa Press 2016 Mary Locke worked in the addiction field as a CADC and LISAC, for over 20 years. An avid reader since the age of six, she now peruses about 20-30 books per year. She regularly writes online reviews for Amazon.com and Goodreads.com.

InRecovery Magazine July 2017

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6/21/17 11:27 AM

FLIGHT TO

TRANSFORMATION God does for us what we can’t do for ourselves.

LARRY SMITH

T

he evening of February 3, 1999, started out like many other evenings. I had a fully-stocked liquor cabinet; a fridge full of beer; and my drug dealer had dropped off four grams of high-quality cocaine. He only serviced professionals and never cut the drugs. Like Domino’s Pizza, he promised delivery in 30 minutes or less, or you received a free gram. His motto was, “I may doze, but I never close.”

I filled the large hot tub in my bedroom, unwrapped a Cuban cigar and poured a snifter of cognac to dip the cigar in. I 20

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InRecovery Magazine July 2017

cooked a small amount of the cocaine so I could smoke it. Wrapping a towel around my body, I went to fetch a beer out of the refrigerator when I noticed some movement outside the dining room window.

Knowing I suffered from drug-induced paranoia, I blew it off, thinking my brain was tricking me.

Suddenly, BOOM! My front door blew off its hinges and hit the floor. Splinters from the doorjamb came down like confetti all over the foyer. What seemed like a dozen men in black ski masks carrying shotguns,

hand guns and riot batons came running directly at me, knocking me to the floor, stripping me of my towel.

I had experienced premonitions about being busted, but never imagined myself like this: naked and shivering, face down on my cold kitchen floor with the business end of a cop’s shotgun pointed at the back of my head. The denial, fear, pain and embarrassment were almost more than I could take. I suddenly experienced an overwhelming moment of clarity. Looking up the barrel of the shotgun into the InRecovery.com

6/20/17 1:31 PM

steely eyes of the masked narcotics agent, I uttered the most surprising words that marked the turning point of my life: “I’m glad you’re here.” Strangely, the voice didn’t sound like my voice; it was quiet and calm. I now know whose voice was speaking through me.

Two days later, on February 5th, at 1:30 PM, I trudged out of the Lucas County jail. I hadn’t showered or shaved for several days. My mind was spinning with questions and uncertainty. Local TV reporters and their cameramen confronted me. It felt like I was being attacked. They recorded footage of me almost punching a reporter who stuck a microphone in my face.

Once home, I received a call from my chief pilot, Captain Gary Meermans, from LAX. He received news in California of my arrest and, to my disbelief, asked if I wanted help for my addiction. He denied that he was calling to fire me, which was what I expected and felt I deserved. He had already arranged for me to go into treatment at Fireside Hospital in Sandusky, Ohio.

Although his words were comforting, I thought they were meaningless because I believed I was headed for prison. I agreed to go into treatment, but was dumbfounded when he said I needed to go right away because they were holding a bed for me.

The idea of total abstinence was foreign to me, but I knew I had to change my behavior and my thinking. Although I didn’t know how to live without getting high, I knew my old way of living was over. I have been clean and sober ever since.

People beginning the journey of recovery often ask themselves, “How in the world did I get here?” I came up with this.

With a genetic predisposition to alcoholism and a persistent Napoleonic complex, right from the start, I was different. I felt more, I worried more, and I strived obsessively to be liked. I experienced illusions of grandeur; I daydreamed about being an athlete, a leader or a politician. In any situation, I sought to be in the limelight.

As far back as I can remember, I was a sensitive youngster who felt other people’s pain. I hated bullies, and at times risked certain death by sticking up for the underdog in a fight.

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From my teachers, parents and the Catholic Church, I had learned to accept that I was neither good nor smart. I also learned to associate fun and pleasure with guilt and shame.

By the age of 16, I was drinking every weekend. Alcohol numbed my fears and quieted the voices telling me I didn’t measure up. Deep-seated feelings of unworthiness hounded me throughout my early years. Those same feelings were amplified by fear as I entered the adult world.

I enlisted in the Air Force Reserves in 1968; and after seven years, I was an officer and a fighter pilot. By 1978, I was a Boeing 727 pilot for Braniff Airlines; eight years later, I went on to United Airlines. There I became licensed to fly Boeing 727-777 airplanes. I retired from the Air Force Reserves in 1991, which is when my cocaine use increased.

There is no greater satisfaction than helping people rise from the darkness of addiction to a flourishing life in recovery.

I continued to fill my body with alcohol and my head with resentments and selfpity. Failed relationships and my lack of self-worth were intensified by insatiable need to be loved. I longed for good friends, but was incapable of being a friend. The booze had long since stopped working and there was only one thing that could ease my pain: cocaine.

I advanced to smoking crack, which immediately extinguished any hope of returning to normalcy. I was morally, emotionally and spiritually dead.

For years, my brain lied to me, telling me I didn’t have a problem. I destroyed every healthy relationship in my life, ultimately costing me the respect of my sons. For me, the truth about alcohol and drugs is that

they robbed me of everything decent in my life.

I could not look in the mirror without screaming at myself over what I had become. I would slap the side of my face so hard that on several occasions I gave myself black eyes. I hated myself and I had no idea what to do. I believed I was unique and that AA or rehab would not help.

Eventually, I accepted that I was going to die from my addiction.

My arrest on February 3, 1999, was simultaneously both my rock bottom and a profound moment of clarity. Nine months after my arrest, I climbed into a 747 in San Francisco and flew 390 people to Kona, Hawaii. That was a testament to a loving God and a program of recovery.

Soon, I began developing educational lectures. I had a knack for speaking, recognizing that my talents were fueled more by passion than by speaking ability. In August 2009, I spoke at the International Airline Pilots Association’s Safety Forum in Washington, DC. The very group of professionals I had embarrassed with my actions ten years earlier now allowed me to present on the importance of addiction treatment. There is no greater satisfaction than helping people rise from the darkness of addiction to a flourishing life in recovery.

More than 18 years after my arrest, I am fully aware of the presence of God in my life. I now know why my voice sounded differently when I said to the masked narcotics agent, “I’m glad you’re here.” It was the voice of my higher self, also known to me as the Holy Spirit. It was the quiet and calm voice from which I had separated my human self during those grandiose years of morbid excesses. It was the voice that went from my subconscious to my conscious in my moment of need – the voice of the Spirit that I have learned to trust, no matter what life delivers.

Larry Smith is the author of Flight to Transformation and Getting Your Sh*t Together, a book endorsed by Dr. Drew. In 2011, he and his wife, Lori, opened Get Real Recovery, Inc.

InRecovery Magazine July 2017

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Awfulizing Again?

“Just what the world needs now . . . smart people with brain damage.”

MARK MASSERANT

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oller coasters were my favorite thrill ride – until I got sober. The emotional roller coaster I boarded appeared specifically designed for Twelve Steppers. It careened up, down and sideways like mood swings on steroids. My emotions were amplified, and my sensitivity became a handicap when they clashed. I was flying high in April and shot down in May, over and over. I wanted to be at meetings and invisible at the same time. It was nerve-racking, but somehow, I didn’t pick up a drink and was able to stay on track.

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I was a cool-guy loner, still in my mullet period and trying to maintain my image while I crumbled on the inside. There was ample room for growth. What’s wrong with me? I’d ask myself, while acting as if there was nothing wrong with me. Why did I feel so incomplete and inferior after years of feeling good, or feeling nothing at all? My depression and anxiety were merely the revolving symptoms of a bigger problem.

I was high maintenance in relationships.

My ego loved to be right and detested being wrong. Anytime I was in a scrape, it was someone else’s fault. My defects remained invisible to me, but they were rattling other peoples’ cages. Even though I over-thought everything, I had a real knack for making bone-headed decisions.

I’d shrug them off, joking, “There I go, thinking again.”

The biggest stumbling block to my recovery was that I only believed what I wanted to believe. I was aloof and suggestion-proof. I balked at spirituality, the God idea, sponsors and the Steps. I wanted there to be something else because I was different.

While I awfulized about my life, more problems piled up. The roller coaster ride was getting out of hand. When my new friends whispered that I had a thinking problem, I took offense. But I kept thinking. They assumed I’d taken too big a bite of the space cookie. I, in turn, thought they slept through Hendrix, Pink Floyd and all of the ’70s. Squares, probably. Somebody ought to look in the mirror. The Second Step is for everybody.

Hey, sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don’t. I kept going to meetings.  I met Nervous Irv in those early months.

God utilizes the most unlikely people to help us, and Nervous was perfectly unlikely. The cranky old eccentric slipped into our sober arena to cheer us up; he could always find a silver lining somewhere.

His crackling voice warbled and squeaked like a rusty pump pulley freezing up. Not only was it his trademark, but it also alerted us that he was in-house. He’d say, “My name is Irv, and I’m a nervous alcoholic.”

He always followed with, “We’ll love you until you can love yourself.” I preferred hearing that phrase from women, not men.

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His hard times were legendary, but he rummaged through the rubble to uncover bits of joy to share with others. He shared stories about his shrinking gambling skills, empty pockets and dried-up relationships. A weepy tale of unrequited love was always a crowd pleaser. Some 20 years ago, the love of his life left town when he went out for a couple of drinks. He didn’t think she’d ever come back. His humor often flopped with me; it was intended for a different target group. I was a dug-in, divorced non-laugher.

It annoyed me when he interrupted my melancholy marathons with his happy nonsense. When he saw me sulking, he’d give a friendly snort and swear that his ass fell off so many times he was “sittin’ on bone.” Before long, I was too downright embarrassed to feel sorry for myself. I cringed to think we had any similar issues, but my thinking was a lot like my drinking: once I got started, it was hard to stop.

One evening at the Less Than Average Group, his all-time favorite topic, “Stinkin’ Thinkin’,” was on the table. The timing was ideal. I was sitting there awfulizing, and the misery I manufactured was intense.

My nerves were shot – not from my problems – they were shot from my thinking. I gave his sermon a listen.

His eyebrows arched, he was ready. “My sponsor told me . . .” he began, and we all huddled frozen in silence, as if waiting for insider info from E. F. Hutton. “. . . Be careful what you tell yourself ’cause you’re gonna believe it.”

It was a bombshell – accurate and profound. I had listened to my brain’s chatter all my life and had reaped the consequences. I wanted to doubt it, to laugh at it, but it was complicated: one of my biggest problems had just been disclosed. I had to quit taking myself so seriously, or I’d have a very serious life.

I began dubbing my thinking jags “Quality Miserable Time,” or QMT for short. I chuckled. This just might work.

Months later, while looking for my Higher Self, another epiphany separated my clouds. It came from a daily meditation book. “God gave us our minds as a gift to ourselves, but what we put in them is our responsibility.”

The final days of being at the mercy of my own thinking had begun. It was plain that the Power of Negative Thinking had ruled me for years. I wondered if it could work

in reverse. As I began force-feeding positive thoughts into my mind, life started becoming simpler and less threatening. It was working. Hope became possible.  The years passed, and I stayed sober. I arrived at my home group for my five-year anniversary with a brand-new life. I had originally thought it was more likely I would die drunk than get a year of sobriety. I was grateful to be wrong. I received the traditional cake from my sponsor, with five flickering candles and a token planted in the frosting.

With the cake balanced in one hand, I peered out at the group and asked if anyone had lost any money. Five wise guys shot up their hands. Two spiritual guppies raised both of theirs. They had watched me grow. Any newcomers who wrestled with the reality of hope and miracles had their eyes opened.

After the meeting, handshakes, hugs and humor surrounded me. Nervous Irv reached up to high-five me, and botched it. He didn’t care.

When everyone cleared out, I thanked my sponsor and said, “It feels so good when they give you your brain back.” He gave me the old What in the world? look and raised his eyebrows and scrunched his lip so he wouldn’t bust out laughing, but a snicker escaped. He wasn’t sure who “they” were and wasn’t so sure that “they” had given my brain back. For years, he was my spiritual brain surgeon/sponsor, and I kept him busy and amused. He noticed my progress. I really did get my brain back, and it was now safe for me to use it.

There is an ancient Chinese proverb: Teachers open the door. You enter by yourself. A Higher Power, the Twelve Steps and good sponsorship were vital to my recovery. I learned from Nervous Irv to be careful with my thinking and to laugh at myself. It was only then that I could let the rest of life’s puzzle pieces fall into place, a day at a time. No more awfulizing.

Mark Masserant has been sober for 30 years. He lives near Ann Arbor, Michigan, with Danette, his wife of 24 years, and their daughter, Lauren. Besides writing, he is a poet and a stained-glass artist. For the past 18 years, he has been very involved in an AA/Al-Anon OctSoberFest in Monroe, Michigan. Along with the Twelve Steps and the Fellowship, humor has been vital to his recovery; laughter may not be the best medicine for this disease, but he knows it shows that the medicine is working. dmmasserant@yahoo.com

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6/20/17 1:32 PM

THE

COURAGE

TO CHANGE Karlyn Pipes

A

s a child, I did not experience acceptance at home. My dad was a practicing alcoholic; my mom was in “survival mode” most of the time. With five children under the age of seven, our home was often chaotic and unpredictable. My introduction to swimming and a feeling of acceptance came through the YMCA’s Learn to Swim program. By the time I was four years old, I knew I was happier in the water than anywhere else.

I dove in to my swimming classes, eager for acceptance and approval from my instructors. My speed and technique improved quickly. It wasn’t long before I was asked to join the swim team and began to win races.

I loved being in the water and I loved to swim, but soon realized that I loved to win even more. Winning had a miraculous way of making many of life’s problems – like the embarrassment of a drunken father – melt away. However, once the medium of water was removed, I still felt inferior.

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By the time I was 15 years old, I had earned first place at the National Junior Olympics in the challenging 400-yard medley. I remember standing atop the podium thinking that maybe, just maybe, I could one day make it to the Olympics.

That very same year, I had my first alcoholic buzz at a New Year’s Eve party. When the adults weren’t looking, I stole two bottles of beer, my dad’s preferred drink. Alone, I guzzled one bottle right after the other, gagging the whole time. All of a sudden, a warm, fuzzy feeling came over me, and all my brokenness seemed to dissolve. This was the feeling I had been seeking all my life. Who cared if it came in a bottle?

Alcohol was a game changer. If alcohol could make me feel that good, why should I work so hard at swimming? I went from being an elite Junior National champion with Olympic aspirations to wanting nothing at all to do with the sport. It was as though I had flipped a switch. One day I was all in, and the next day I was all out.

I had a new love in my life, and took every opportunity to get to know it. I knew the path I was choosing was destructive; but even at a young age, was powerless to stop it. I was also powerless to quiet the voices in my head that reminded me of the talent, potential and opportunities I was throwing away. “You’re not good enough, Karlyn,” they said. “You don’t deserve the talent you were given. You’re a fraud.” To prove it, I would find another opportunity to drink. Nearly every decision I made revolved around getting drunk.

At age 18, I was offered 15 full-athletic scholarships. I chose a university based on cute boys and great parties, and lasted three semesters before flunking out. In my early 20s, I chose jobs like beach lifeguarding, bartending and waitressing, and hung around other people who liked to party.

At 25, I resurfaced in swimming and even broke a Masters World record. I couldn’t handle success, so I drank even more. By the time I was 30, there wasn’t much “party” left. If I didn’t drink, I’d get the shakes.

When I did drink, I threw up. There was no high, no buzz, but I no longer had a choice. I had to drink.

By age 31, I had become a world-record-setting lifeguard who was drowning. I consumed a liter of vodka a day. I InRecovery.com

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stopped hoping for a better life because it wasn’t worth the effort. I wasn’t worth the effort.

One day, the phone rang. It was my Mom with a lifeline, but would I accept it? Would I have the courage to change?

Would I have the courage to tell her what I had become?

“Mom, I think I’m an alcoholic.” There, I said it. For the first time, ever.

I expected drama. I expected anger. I also expected a bolt of lightning to fry me on the spot for so badly messing up my life.

Instead, all she said was “Let’s get you some help.” The next thing I knew, I was in a ten-day rehab.

I stopped hoping for a better life because it wasn’t worth the effort. body. Thankfully, the water accepted me back, no questions asked. Because of the acceptance from the water and my new AA fellowship, I began to heal emotionally, too.

Over the next few years, I continued attending meetings, swimming, building a new life, making the most of this do-over and staying sober. As the years went by, I attended fewer meetings and lost connection with my sponsor. Thankfully, I didn’t drink.

I was working hard in the pool, breaking records right and left, but I was taking the easy way out when it came to working the Twelve Steps. As a matter of fact, I had been stuck on Step Three for 19 years! It became painfully clear that I was back to doing it my way, not God’s way.

Detox was a nightmare; but after three days, I turned a corner. I was so grateful to be alive. There I attended the first of many AA meetings, and those meetings saved my life. I was blown away by the support and unconditional love I received.

The experience, strength and hope of the people who shared inspired me. And the laughter was a revelation – who would have thought that a room full of ex-drunks would have anything to laugh about?

Leaving rehab, I had one goal: staying sober. I realized that I had been given the gift of life and the opportunity for a do-over. I also knew I needed to ask some hard questions: Why did I drink? Why had I let my life become such a mess to the point of almost dying? Who was I without alcohol?

In those early days, I found that daily exercise was extremely helpful. I had hours in my day to fill, and swimming took up time. The exercise helped cleanse my

Pain is a great motivator. I would love to take credit for the self-awareness that I was stuck and needed to work the Steps.

However, it was a broken heart and a broken wrist that brought me back to the program. I was in so much pain that I was willing to do anything to make it stop.

First, I needed to believe I was worthy of God’s love. Once I was able to receive His gift, I found the courage to change and to finish what I had started so long ago.

It took me 20 years and 10 months to finish the Twelve Steps. I sometimes wonder how different my life would have been if I had I finished them sooner, but that’s the beauty of a do-over. There is no right or wrong way, and we can have as many doovers as we like. Do them the same way each time or have the courage do them differently; the choice is yours.

Karlyn Pipes is an inspirational speaker and author of The Do-Over, a story about recovery, hope and second chances. She was inducted into the International Swimming Hall of Fame in 2015. Karlyn also owns and operates Aquatic Edge, offering swim technique workshops worldwide and private swim instruction and camps in Kona, Hawaii.

Karlynpipes.com

InRecovery Magazine July 2017

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6/20/17 1:33 PM

Dear

,

Molle MOLLÉ

CrossTalk is based on the premise that recovery life is polytely: frequently complex problem-solving situations characterized by the presence of not one but several endings. This writing represents decades of recovery and its application to life: how to get over it, into it or through it with spunk, levity and a good dose of reality. What? You want more than happy, joyous and free? Get over it. Just sayin’. – Mollé

Dear Mollé, I’ve been an athlete since middle school.

I was skilled and strong, but alcohol destroyed my career. I have had an eating disorder most of my life. Two years ago, my wife divorced me and took custody of my daughter, and I haven’t seen her since.

I’ve wanted to start training for a triathlon, but I’m scared I’ll return to the same destructive behavior as before.

I don’t know if I can be pro again, but I miss being athletic and strong. I’ve brought it up at my men’s group, and the general consensus is “It’s too soon.”

I don’t have a sponsor yet, and I’m not sure that I’ll find one who supports me.

Thoughts? Over the Net in New York Dear Over the Net, The good news is you’re alive. Dead dads are awful fathers. If – and I repeat, if – you choose to stay sober and keep your priorities straight, you might one day earn the right to see your daughter again. Until then, there is nothing stopping you from picking up small cards and sending short love notes to her. Girls need to know that their dads love them.

Sports and eating disorders often go hand in hand. You must be careful who you surround yourself with, as it’s easy to get sucked into nutrition obsession and an unhealthy fixation on 26

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calories, etc. Sports attract perfectionists, and I doubt that your obsessive compulsiveness went away overnight.

Like sobriety, training takes a lot of patience. It’s like driving to a meeting; you don’t feel like going, but afterwards you feel better. It becomes a habit, then a lifestyle, and hopefully a source of joy.

Get a sponsor. He will be able to help you focus on balance and priorities. You can do anything you want as long as you keep sobriety as the priority. I hope for the best for you and your daughter.

Dear Mollé, I’ve been offered the job I’ve been working toward for years. I should be excited, but I’m scared. I’ve been clean for eight years. I’ve had the same sponsor, the same home group, super sober friends, and a good job. My husband (met him in sobriety) is able to transfer without any real issues, so I feel guilty for not making a decision.

I have no children, pets or family to support this sense of dread I have for leaving. I feel ashamed that I’m even hesitating. I’m 40 years old, for God’s sake. Am I being ridiculous, or should I be concerned to leave the only place in this world that I feel safe and confident?

Rigid with Fear in Florida

Dear Rigid with Fear, Stop the “I should” nonsense. It is self-defeating and only serves to keep you in a tailspin.

I assume that you’ve asked your sponsor the same question and didn’t like the answer. When making big decisions, it’s best to keep your counsel to three people you trust. Otherwise, you keep trying to find someone who will support your fear.

It makes sense that you would hesitate to walk away from the sacred birthing ground of your sobriety. It was the beginning of a new life for you; now, live it.

Moving and starting over can be overwhelming. Keeping good balance will be critical.

It is ok to be excited. The physical responses of anxiety (increased heart rate, insomnia, etc.) are the same as excitement and anticipation. I sense that you have an amazing career, travel and excitement ahead. Let God, your current sponsor, and your sobriety take you to the next level of life.

Viewpoints shared or any implied actions suggested by Mollé are the opinions and ideas of the author only and do not represent those of InRecovery Magazine. The implied action is offered openly and is never intended to replace the advice of a healthcare professional. You may send your dilemmas to Mollé at editor@inrecovery.com.

InRecovery.com

6/21/17 3:02 PM

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6/21/17 3:10 PM

THE

JOURNEY SHAWN BALENTINE

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InRecovery Magazine July 2017

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6/20/17 1:35 PM

“Do you want this for the rest of your life, or do you want something more?” asked the dark blur of a stranger sitting next to my hospital bed, as I woke strapped to a gurney wondering where in the heck I was. “You need to change fast before you can’t.” he continued. Yet, as I laid there, a former extreme athlete, now down to a mere 122 pounds, I still wasn’t sure if I was ready.

I grew up in Michigan as a happy-golucky, up-for-anything child. I excelled at whatever I put my mind to, and was soon winning martial arts tournaments on the state, regional and national champion circuits. One time, I even had the national anthem playing behind me. However, despite my phenomenal success, I always felt inadequate. That’s when the drinking began. I left Michigan to enlist in the Army as a combat medic and went on to attend Arizona State University, but throughout this period of apparent normalcy, I was regularly chugging beer and Jameson on the rocks hoping it would take away my doubt and make me “enough”. It never did.

The partying followed me to Hollywood, where I moved into a youth hostel. I made enough to get by and at least feed my habit, but things rapidly began to spiral out of control. Luckily, a good friend saw through my addictions and the lingering PTSD smile. He knew I was hurting and decided I was worth saving. We call this the God shot. This was the first time I tried to get sober and it lasted two years. I understood that my life was unmanageable, but I couldn’t (or wouldn’t) allow myself to say I was an alcoholic. Despite not drinking and working hard to change my direction, I was still surrounded by a tornado of conflict. Just getting sober didn’t mean the tornado immediately blew away. It took some time and good old-fashioned, roll-up-your-sleeves Step work to calm the storm.

It’s important to work the 12 Step program the way it’s laid out. At first, I could not come to terms with this because I couldn’t admit I was an alcoholic; that’s why there are two parts to Step one. I didn’t work the program the way I needed to, and because I couldn’t come to terms with my sexuality, I eventually relapsed. I chose InRecovery.com

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to see the world through whiskeycolored glasses because I didn’t like the person staring back at me.

So, I gathered my wits and my addiction around me and took a geographic to New York. I was convinced I had everything under control but soon found myself back drinking and partying hard, until that fateful day I overdosed and ended up laying, near death, next to that stranger in the hospital.

It was a rude awakening. I decided to give sobriety another shot.

Being sober didn’t isolate me from the realities of life. The ups and downs challenged me daily and I almost faltered numerous times. Any given day, I was only one shock away from a relapse, and then I was struck by two; the fall of the Twin Towers on 9/11 and the death of my sister. Sharol was killed by a drunk and stoned driver an hour before her birthday.

I cratered and gave in to my addiction.

A few years later, my sister’s son David was tragically killed by a road-raged driver less than a mile from where his mother died.

That’s when it truly hit me, I could have been one of those drivers. This time I dove back into the program for good and it helped me deal with David’s death.

People there showed my unconditional love and, at first, I didn’t know how to handle it. Normally, I never allowed people to see me hurting. I always figured this would make me a “man” or something.

Boy, was I wrong! I’ve since learned that it’s okay to show emotions. The hurt and pain in a loved one’s eyes is there because that person wants the best for you in life, and see that you can get there if you just get out of your own way.

If you choose to, you can begin to change your life for the good at any age. Build on a strong foundation in the program, or build a new foundation as you work on yourself. It’s up to you. I was fortunate to find the program after each relapse. It was all part of my journey.

The program also gave me the courage to live my life honestly and to the fullest. I never knew what it was like to be openly gay both in my personal and professional lives.

I had my gay friends, my straight friends and my work friends. I tried very hard to never mix and match. When anyone got too close, I would cut and run. I had done this my entire life. As a stunt man, it was easier for me to crash down a flight of stairs or jump off a 40 foot building than it was to say aloud “I’m GAY!” Ultimately, it came to a point where I had to ask myself, ‘do I come out or do I lose my sobriety and probably myself, again?’ In order to keep my sobriety number one, I chose my life over hiding who I am, over the thousands of dollars I was losing in blackmail, and over losing family, friends and career, or anything else I had. I hope my story helps someone else who is struggling.

I have been officially out of the closet for a year and sober for over 11. The journey as an openly gay stuntman has brought many feelings and wonderful adventures I might never have experienced had I not devotedly worked the program.

Thankfully, I’m still growing. Whether you’re new to this journey or have multiple years under your belt, keep going and keep growing; it’s a journey for life.

Shawn Balentine is a Hollywood indemand stunt coordinator/2nd unit director whose credits include American Horror Stories, Under the Dome and Brooklyn Nine-Nine. He has performed as a stunt double for Patton Oswalt, Jack Black, Oliver Cooper and Chaz Bono, and most recently lent his voice and skills to an antibullying PSA, “Stereotypes,” and a LGBT teen suicide PSA. Live4UStunts@gmail.com

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completed a six-month residential drug treatment program, and started incorporating many of the suggestions I received at meetings and in treatment.

Here’s the silver lining: losing my teeth was instrumental to developing my self-esteem. When I was using meth and losing my teeth, I didn’t really care because I was high. Once I came out of that fog, however, the fact that I had no teeth really bothered me. I wouldn’t smile, and I hid my mouth with my hands whenever I talked because I was deeply embarrassed and ashamed.

Look for the Silver Lining

G

MICHAEL ROHRS

reetings, campers. I have an anecdote for you, one you’ll hopefully find interesting. First, here’s a little background. I’m in prison as a result of my drug addiction. I want to take you back to the early ’90s, when I was much younger, had a full head of hair and had just moved to New York City.

My first job in New York City was teaching junior high English in Fort Greene, Brooklyn. I moved to New York to “find myself.” Really, I just wanted to party, and eventually teaching from 9-5 began to significantly interfere with my party lifestyle.

It’s hard to go out clubbing on cocaine and ecstasy until 5 AM and then be at work by 7:30 AM. When I was given the opportunity to model professionally, I thought I’d hit the jackpot. What could be better than the glamorous, jet-setting life of a professional model? I would be paid well for a job that didn’t require a lot of work. Plus, I could party my ass off.

Things did not go as I expected. Models who are hung over all the time do not get the plumb jobs. My main problem was that I didn’t have a well-defined sense of myself. By that, I mean I did what I thought folks wanted me to do rather than being driven by an inner sense of what

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was right for me. That led to uncomfortable sexual relationships, hanging with the wrong people, and lots of other bad decisions. But on the upside, I was young and good-looking.

Here’s the truly weird part: people told me all the time how attractive I was and I was paid for my looks, yet I had no self-confidence and no self-esteem. Today, I know those characteristics are the essence of the addicted personality: no inner substance or confidence and no moral compass. I had a hard time making sense of the difference between right and wrong. It was for all these reasons that things didn’t go well for me.

Fast forward 25 years. During those intervening years, I found crystal meth, became a daily intravenous drug user, and lost everything. My actions led to many negative consequences, including prison.

One unexpected consequence was that I lost all my teeth. Crystal meth use contributes to bad oral hygiene and extreme tooth decay.

Remember that model in his twenties?

Imagine him now, bald, 48 and toothless.

When I was in my early 40s, I made an effort to get sober and really started working on myself. I went to Twelve Step meetings,

While I was in treatment, having no teeth was uncomfortable, but not the end of the world since everyone there knew I was an addict. Eventually, however, I had to go out into the world to look for a job. I had to socialize and be around other people.

At that point, I realized I had two choices: 1) Don’t go because I’m ashamed and embarrassed that I don’t have teeth; or 2) Get over it and just do it. I chose the latter.

I always look for the positive rather than focusing on the negative.

I don’t know where I found the strength to choose option two, but I went out, met people and found a job despite the fact that I was toothless. That experience increased my self-esteem immeasurably, and that, is the silver lining in losing my teeth. Yeah, it may seem counterintuitive – lose teeth and feel better – but that’s how it happened for me.

I still haven’t raised the funds to pay for teeth, but that’s okay. I’ll take the toothless me of today over that young, good-looking, insecure 20-something-year-old any day of the week.

The lesson for me, and maybe for you, is that there is always something good that comes out of what may seem to be a bad situation. Getting sober shifted my perspective. Now, rather than focusing on the negative, I always look for the silver lining.

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Marketing, Lead Generation, and Sales Solutions for the Addiction and Mental Health Industry We deliver custom-fit direct response integrated marketing, lead generation, and admissions solutions that are designed to fill your beds, ethically. Admit generation is the cornerstone of our services, and we understand the current challenges treatment centers are facing today. We have deep experience within the addiction and mental health industry, and we can help.

Lead Generation

In today’s market, raw unbranded third party leads just won’t work anymore. Yet lead generation has to be part of your admit generation strategy. So you have to do more with less, and you can by deploying process intelligence. We offer real lead generation solutions that fill beds and position you to meet current industry challenges.

Integrated Marketing

In order to compete in today’s marketplace treatment centers must tap into and integrate all marketing channels, such as SEO, PPC, SMO, directories, and other media sources. This marketing strategy is a “must” if you are to manage your cost-per-acquisition. Most marketing agencies can’t go beyond CPC and CPL. But We do, closing the loop back to cost-per-acquisition.

Admissions Solutions

Marketing is only half the solution. Today’s treatment centers must have a strong admissions team or their cost-per-acquisition will be unmanageable. Primary KPIs such as VOB Run %, VOB Accepted %, and Clinically Accepted % have to be carefully monitored and maximized. Advanced admissions call center strategies like Opener/Closer models, Call Handling processes, Call Management Platforms, and CRMs should be considered. We can help.

Our Services Include Treatment Center Growth Strategies Integrated Marketing Solutions Intelligent Lead Generation Sales Admission Services Call Center Services Call Management Implementation CRM Optimization

RecoveryMarketingConsultants.com

(888) 599-5242 Recovery Marketing Consultants is an addiction and mental health marketing and sales consulting group headquartered in Newport Beach, CA. If you are interested in receiving an initial consultation and and needs assessment, please call us. We deliver results.

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Triumph for a wrestling legend, Olympic gold medalist and 13-time world champion.

KURT ANGLE

T

he older I get, the more I realize that life’s events are not linear; rather, they are layered, and the uncovering of each layer exposes more of my true self. I can say that with complete clarity and conviction as I sit here writing today, but that was not always the case.

are hardworking, creative, industrious and determined. I’m proud to call Pittsburg home. It’s a great place to raise my family.

I’ve been blessed with five amazing children – my youngest, Nikoletta, was born in early November 2016 – and I’m married to the love of my life, Giovanna.

My fans and the public know me as Kurt Angle, wrestling legend, Olympic gold medalist, 13-time world champion and actor. My wrestling career has spanned more than three decades. I’ve traveled the world and have been on TV and in movies. My hard work, relentless training and dedication to a sport I love have paid off, but I don’t live the Hollywood lifestyle.

What many people don’t know about my life is my personal struggle with addiction.

As my friends and family know, I was raised, and still live, in Pittsburgh. I’m a hometown guy who loves the gritty Steel City and everything about it. It’s an incredible place that is experiencing its own rebirth, and its people are the type who make up the backbone of America; they 32

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I didn’t always have this problem. I started taking opioids in 2003, when they were prescribed to me for pain after I broke my neck. As others often think, I figured that if a doctor prescribed them then they couldn’t be bad for me. I’d never taken opioids before, so I wasn’t aware of the risk of becoming addicted. From the very first week of taking my prescription, I knew I was hooked. I loved the feeling opioids gave me; I felt unstoppable.

It didn’t take long for me to become a slave to the opioids. I was constantly checking

to make sure I had enough pills each day to continue my habit. It became my obsession. I was always high after I became hooked on the pills. In the meantime, my friends and family were affected because I was never there for them mentally or spiritually. This is something I will always regret. Then I started to add alcohol to the mix. Soon I was using opioids and drinking every day and night; it was like pouring gasoline on a fire.

My revelation came one day in 2013, when I was arrested and charged with driving under the influence for the fourth time in only five years. Later that same day, I made a public announcement that I would be entering rehab. It was one of the best decisions of my life.

Being in recovery has given me my life back. I am a Christian, husband and father, in that order. I’m now able to fully enjoy the family I have been blessed with; and know my purpose is to care for them, InRecovery.com

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making sure they don’t fall into the same traps I did.

To help stay attentive to my recovery, I train hard at the gym on a daily basis. This keeps me focused on bettering myself. For me, being in top physical condition lends itself to staying healthy, clean and sober, as well as in a good place mentally.

I love to talk openly about my addiction and recovery, something that many celebrity athletes before me would never do. I believe we need to end the stigma associated with addiction as part of the solution to the raging drug crisis in America.

As soon as I got clean, I immediately knew I wanted to help others fight their addiction. I was astounded when I was told to keep my addiction and recovery private, and to only speak of it with other addicts.

Being strong-willed, I soon broke that pattern and decided to tell everyone I could.

I’ve been in recovery for over four years; and to this day, I continue to stay motivated by helping others.

I love to talk openly about my addiction and recovery, something that many celebrity athletes before me would never do. I believe as part of the solution to the raging drug crisis in America, we need to end the stigma associated with addiction.

With the opioid epidemic and overdoses spreading nationwide, I have become passionate about reaching as many people as possible and providing them with the support they need to stay in recovery. There is so much more to life than drugs or alcohol.

While I’ve taken some serious hits in the ring, the toughest thing I ever had to do was beat my addiction to opioids and alcohol. I’ve shared my story here, and believe all those in recovery have amazing stories to tell.

If you are in recovery, you have the opportunity to tell others about your journey and what it took for you to get and stay clean and sober. You are called to a higher purpose – to assist others. I hope you’ll join me; together we can make a difference.

I know firsthand that the hardest part for a recovering addict is when you get out of rehab. It’s really hard not to relapse. I’ve been touched by the heartbreak of relapse and re-hospitalization; we lost my sister to a tragic heroin overdose.

Kurt Angle lives in Pittsburg, Pennsylvania, and has been in recovery for over four years.

He recently launched his ANGLESTRONG™ recovery management mobile app. www.AngleStrong.com

Long-Term Substance Abuse Treatment Our goal at Acceptance Recovery Center is to help each person understand and find acceptance around their addiction, while providing them the confidence and skills for a life of sobriety.

Get help, call today

844.302.0440

www. acceptancerecoverycenter.com

Located in beautiful Scottsdale, Arizona Nationally Accredited by the Joint Commission

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KINGS THE SPORT OF

The power of spirituality in a young man’s recovery.

GREG MUNGALL

M

y name is Greg Mungall and I grew up in Cocoa Beach, Florida, where I learned to surf and live a life of ‘surfing the wrong way’ until I found inner freedom through Jesus Christ. The surfing lifestyle allowed me to enjoy my freedom, but His words freed me from slavery to drugs, alcohol and my daily self-ridicule.

Surfing has its own unique lifestyle that few truly understand. In Hawaii, it has been called the “Sport of Kings” for that very reason. Once the essence of surfing and the ocean lifestyle have been found, it becomes sheer pleasure and a way of life.

Grab your board, paddle out and enjoy some waves, no fees to be paid. It’s free; yes, FREE! As I grew up, I competed professionally and it took me into a place of great joy and great sadness.

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Winning surfing events and traveling on the International Professional Surfing world tour was a tremendous privilege.

As a young adult, I traveled the world to Australia, Brazil, Hawaii, Japan, Mexico, South Africa, and the west and east coasts of the US. I was living every young man’s dream! I thought I had it all – the ocean, surfing, girls, travel, prestige – but all that was cut short when, in South Africa, I contracted hepatitis from an injury. The illness changed everything and sent me into a self-destructive spiral of drugs and drinking.

Hepatitis took my body down. When I realized I would never again compete at a world class level, I plunged deeper into depression. I continuously beat myself up both mentally and emotionally as I jumped from place-to-place while living in California during the late ’70s.

At that time, California was not the right place to be contemplating a lifestyle free from alcohol and drugs, and I was not yet looking for that freedom. My life was all about me. Instead, I wallowed in self-pity and entered a few professional surf contests here and there. I hung around some of the biggest names in the surf industry and went on surf trips up and down the west coast, shooting for magazines as I attempted to fill the void in my life.

During a stint living near Cayucos on California’s Central Coast, there was a turn of events that, in hindsight, I realize was God’s intervention. I met the Collins family. Lance Collins of Wave Tools Surfboards needed some help at his big surfboard shop in Costa Mesa, California. Around 1981, I moved down there and lived in the shop while helping Lance with a big sailboard order.

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The ’80s were the heydays of the surfing world, and my life was geared around the sport. The covers and inside editorials of surfing and surfer magazines were bursting at the seams: the lifestyle, the pro-surfing circuit, girls in bikinis, surf clothes, surfboards, skateboards and the travel.

Surfing icons were being born, young stars were rising out of the grommet stage, and it all centered around Echo Beach, California.

Echo Beach was in my backyard. Life was fast, and I went with the flow as recklessly and hard as I could, but I was a Florida outsider. During that time, West Coast surfers hated East Coast surfers, and I was purposely excluded from many things. I felt hopeless and alone. Inside, my internal life was boiling. My mind twisted and turned, and I could not get my bearings. I was in and out of drugs, and the alcohol never left.

Then, one day, things slowly began to change for me. Lance had a Christian radio station blasting all day long, and it drove me crazy. I seriously could not stand it, but no one in the glass shop, including me, dared to change the station. One morning as a certain Southern-speaking pastor spoke from the radio, I forced myself to listen. His twang irritated me, but I actually began to see my self-destructive path and to look outside my self-centered life.

I knew I needed to change. As the pastor spoke in his Southern drawl, something grabbed my heart. I can’t explain exactly what it was, but it spoke to me and I realized I needed to look at something other than the self-deprecating crutches of drugs and alcohol. He read a verse from the Bible, John 8:32, where Jesus claimed He could set me free: “Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

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The message centered on this verse and jumped into my heart. At that instant, I realized I was a slave to my self-pity, my pride, and the drugs and alcohol that were ruining my life. I had let it all happen, and needed to make a better choice. I wanted to understand how I could be set free, and to learn more about the love that Jesus had for my messed-up soul.

It was not an instantaneous change. The depth of my daily despair was more than just the hepatitis and my floundered dreams of becoming a world champion surfer. Since my marriage to Lance’s daughter, Duranne, in 1986, my drinking and drugging had reached a peak, but several years went by before my prideful and stone-cold heart softened enough to recognize it.

Gradually, through the foundations of the Bible, Bible studies, family and friends, God helped me change my life forever. I was finally set free from my addictions.

Life became a joy. I still had setbacks and trials, but I was no longer alone.

Duranne and I have now been married for over 30 years. With guidance and love from my wife and from God, I turned my life around. Life is about learning. It’s about constantly hitting new milestones while new trials and issues are thrown into our paths. It’s about recognizing how much our wrong and selfish choices cost us. I slowly changed and grew in maturity. Most importantly, I changed who I was inside.

Our four beautiful children surf and possess a great love for the ocean and for God. Because much of our family time is spent at the beach, we are often called “The Surf Family.” Our daughter, Alexsis, is a married “mermaid” and raising her own little mermaid baby. Daniel, our oldest son, is

the brains behind our company’s computerized milling machine and designer of our boards. River is our surf-crazed test pilot who is one of Huntington Beach’s newest 2017 lifeguards. Our youngest son, Dakota, is a strong surfer with his own style who wants nothing more than to be out surfing and having a great time. When River and Dakota get together on longboards, they take over the waves, hooting, hollering, and encouraging everyone to have a good time.

What was once a living nightmare became the way to a new freedom and love for myself, my family and many others. Teaching and sharing the joy of surfing, love for the ocean, respect for nature, and building the equipment has heightened that love. The pinnacle of this joy and freedom is having Jesus and His Word.

If you are searching for freedom, open God’s Word, the Bible. I promise you, that if your heart truly asks for it, you will be set free. You can only change what is behind you by changing what is before you. I have and have never regretted it.

Give me a call. I am always open to teach someone to surf or paddleboard. Let’s go surfing or make that dream board that you’ve always wanted. We love having friends spend the day with us down at sunny San Onofre to play in the hot sand or surf in the cool ocean.

Aloha and God Bless.

Greg Mungall was inducted into the East Coast Surfing Hall of Fame in 2014. During his surfing career, he won many competitions including: 1976 Florida Pro Champion, 1979 American Katin Team Challenge Champion, 1985 Oceanside Longboard Champion and the 1985 Bell’s Easter Contest Australia Longboard Event 2nd place. greg@ngboards.com

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THE SOBER LIFE

Tools That Work Johari’s Window. A method of exploring your “self.”

JANET A. HOPKINS

Johari’s Window was named for two psychologists, Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham, who developed the method in 1955. It is an ingenious and graphic way to develop self-awareness.

Imagine a window divided into four squares, each square representing infor-

Open Area Things that both you and others know about you – it’s out in the open.

This area includes social roles, the person you present to the world, job/work, pastimes, games, rituals and values.

Blind Spot Things others know about you, but you don’t know about yourself.

What others see but you hide from yourself. For example, incongruent behavior, overreactions, feelings of inadequacy, incompetence, impotence, unworthiness, rejection, guilt, dependency, ambivalence toward loved ones, need to control and manipulate. These issues can be evident to others but difficult for the individual to face. Denial, the #1 symptom of addiction, hides in this spot. We all have it, using or clean!

Hidden Area (Façade) Things you know about yourself that others do not know.

This includes all areas of privacy, hang-ups and secret fears, dark secrets held consciously, resentment, shame, and uninhibited private behavior.

Unknown Area Things that neither you nor others are aware of: the depths of your soul, repressed material, dark secrets in your family’s group mind, undiscovered potential, denial, compulsive behavior patterns, projections, ego defenses, your unconscious, racial memory, genetic memory. This area has been described by but never completely understood by many writers and philosophers. It is one of life’s greatest mysteries.

Take a piece of paper and fold it into fourths. Then open it, and spend some time writing things that fit in each pane of the window. The whole point of the Johari

COMMUNITY

OPEN

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N K N U

HIDDEN

O

W

N

SELF

THE GOAL

mation about you. Luft and Ingham described these squares as follows:

BLIND

I

f you haven’t been to treatment and don’t work in the treatment industry, you may not have heard of Johari’s Window. I heard about it in 1977 while in treatment for “acute and chronic alcoholism” at Alexandria Hospital in Virginia. I was shocked when I saw my diagnosis – I didn’t think I was that bad. As I sat in class one afternoon, I was stunned to learn that other people knew more about me than I did. Discovering Johari’s Window opened my eyes and helped me to better understand my disease.

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Window is to help you understand more about who you are. The windows help you to take a look into your soul.

How will this help you? Well, Luft and Ingham believed, the more information in your “open” window, the more integrated and effective you would be in your life. For example, if you ask for feedback from others, the Blind Spot decreases as the Open Area increases.

If you disclose information about yourself, the Hidden Area decreases and moves that information into the Open Area. As the amount of information in the Open Area increases, you become more aware of aspects of the Unknown Area which you can then also feed into the Open Area. It is as if you have removed the lid that was covering your subconscious and unconscious material. Dreams may become more vivid and provide even more information as you explore your “self.”

Mutual trust tends to increase awareness.

Solicit information from people you trust and with whom you feel comfortable. Ask them about your Blind Spot. What do they see that you are unable to see? This can be scary and unnerving, but it can also provide freedom from old ideas. As we open ourselves to our truths, we become more open to grow spiritually.

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Closed windows can contain over 50% of your inner resource, totally untapped. As your Open window becomes larger and the other windows grow smaller, you will discover untapped psychic energy and never-before-known resources. This resource enriches your search for a more meaningful way to live.

This process of enlarging your Open window is called self-disclosure, the give and take between you and the people in your life. As you share something about yourself (moving information from your Hidden Area into the Open Area), other people who are interested in communicating with you will reciprocate by disclosing information from their own Hidden Areas. As their trust in you grows, they may share information that enlightens some of your Blind Spots, further expanding your Open window.

To grow in these areas requires a willingness to step out of your comfort zone to attain this knowledge, to face some of your fears, and to consider doing some things that are outside of your comfort zone.

Now, back to your Johari’s Window exercise. Turn your piece of paper over, and jot down the names of some people you might ask for feedback on your Blind Spot. Remember, the more you share about your

concealed areas, the more likely others will share information with you about your Blind Spot.

Next, write down how you react in new or uncomfortable situations. Learn to be responsible for your reactions and try to avoid running away from such events. You can use these opportunities to learn more about yourself and to open up to ideas from others that will help you feel more comfortable. As you become aware of your responses you will find constructive ways of coping with your feelings and stresses.

Finally, consider two of your biggest fears and write them down. Consider how you might conquer these fears. Where did they come from? How do you feel about them?

Ask yourself what your REAL fear is in that situation. Then talk about these fears with someone you trust. Ask your friends how they view the same or similar fears and how they see themselves dealing with them.

Your potential to achieve happiness depends on finding ways to learn more about yourself and others. Take the plunge! You’ll be happier for it. I know. This has been one of the most effective tools for me as I walk my own recovery road.

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POSTITIVE IMAGINE THE FUTURE

Imagine what can be learned from tracking the blood, saliva, tears, genes, microbes and physical environment (including sleep and movements) of 10,000 people over a 4 year period. Imagine what could be discovered in the areas of heart disease, cancer and even addiction. Well, it appears we’re about to find out. Verily Life Sciences, a subsidiary of Alphabet (Google’s parent company), is planning on doing just that to gain a wealth of knowledge comparable in scope to the DNA mapping project.

Thanks to Project Baseline and its innovative research, perhaps one day we’ll have the pleasure of looking back on this pivotal development as a transformational event in the treatment of addiction.

Pay It Forward

people who are addicted have limited individual self worth. I half expect to see those totals pass by on the CNBC financial ticker, between the prices for Crude Oil and Orange Juice. Then, once in treatment, the focus intensifies on things that need fixing instead of the good that each one of us possesses. We may be addicts, but that’s our disease, not who we are. Moreover, we all know that focusing on the positive is the most productive way to solve any problem.

I wish I could say I did it more often.

Yet, I still consider myself to be a generally good person. I’m sure most of us do. So why don’t more of us make this part of our everyday routine? I think it all comes down to basic awareness.

We need to implement more of that attitude into treatment, if we want to get serious about improving outcomes.

We’ve all heard the expression ‘Pay it Forward’ and generally know what it means, but how many of us actually practice it in our daily lives?

‘Paying it Forward’ essentially involves doing a good deed for its own sake, without expecting anything in return.

That person is then inclined to do likewise, and so on, creating a daisy chain of good will. It’s so simple, but yet we get so caught up in our own lives, in the moment, in whatever preoccupies us at the time, that we don’t immediately connect with going out of our way for some stranger. However, If everyone made this his or her own habit, we’d all be better off. It would eventually even come back to us in a virtuous cycle of paying things forward. All of the major religions apply a similar concept, treating others like you yourself would like to be treated. It is a thing of beauty.

Imagine all of the happiness that could flow from that.

Code-named Project Baseline, this encompassing study will use Fitbit-like wristbands and have special sensors placed in mattresses, among many other measuring tools. The actual initial research will be done by Duke and Stanford Universities, with funding from Verily which will manage, collect and develop algorithms to comb through the volumes of data for useful insight. Verily plans on adding additional universities to the program at a later date.

While volunteers are only asked to commit to 4 years, researchers are hopeful many will stay on even longer, perhaps decades. They believe the informational treasure trove from this study will lead to better understanding of human health and development of diseases. One of the most interesting things is that access to all of this research will be made available to the public, with a two year lag time, giving Verily and the universities a slight head start. This is comparable to creating open source computer code in order to maximize the benefits and utility of the software. Thanks to this innovative research, perhaps one day we’ll have the pleasure of looking back on this pivotal development as a transformational event in the treatment of addiction.

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As addicts in recovery, we’re urged to help others and to learn how to accept help from others at the same time.

These helpful tools keep us grounded and on track. It also makes us good will ambassadors for the ‘Pay it Forward’ movement. In playing that role, we can take pride in the fact that we’re all doing our small part to make the world a better place

Focus On The Positive

Society spends a considerable amount of time labeling all of the negative attributes of addiction. Newspapers and magazines compile statistics, as if

Most people in recovery have relapsed, perhaps several times. Yet, prior to those relapses, there was something that was working. What was it? There were probably numerous things and for each person it was different. Recovery thrives in groups but is also very personal in nature.

Therapy sessions should pay greater attention to what was working for us.

We also need to share our stories with each other in group, so we can learn from each other. This way, we create positive scenarios instead of merely re-hashing triggers and the parade of horribles that can go wrong. Certainly, an analysis of how we got off the rails is important, but not to the exclusion of the positive. Sometimes treatment can get so focused on the ‘what not to do’ that we lose sight of the positive ‘what to dos’ that were working and should be more strongly encouraged.

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The BOOKSTAND Recovery is the subject of countless books, blogs, films, CDs and apps.

Below are some titles worth a look. If you would like us to include your books, blogs, films, CDs or apps in this column, please contact editor@inrecovery.com.

Bad Medicine: An Improbable Story of Redemption (Matthew D. Hirschberg’s, 2016).

Extraordinary journey serves as proof that any obstacle in life can be overcome. Matt’s story is one of redemption, and a great reminder that personal responsibility helps pave the road to success. From his early days involving drugs, prison, and obesity, to his current stage as a successful entrepreneur, business owner, and public speaker, Matt invites readers to re-examine and take stock of their own lives through his “Life Prescriptions” -- proven life lessons he has learned from his unbelievable experiences. After experiencing his story and the words of wisdom he has to share, one’s life will inevitably change for the better.

Available on Amazon

The Affliction of Addiction: It’s Not That Complicated (Adam McArnold, 2016).

It is now possible to peek inside the brain and identify differences between people who develop addictions and those who don’t. As a result, researchers have confirmed that some people are more vulnerable to addiction than others. This matrix explains the role these factors play in the development of chemical addictions. Available on Amazon

Smell the Raindrops: One young woman’s journey through life, love and recovery.

(BA Austin, 2015).

“An engrossing memoir by a woman of privilege whose circumstances enabled her to embrace the less fortunate, and who ultimately met and fought her demons heroically, solidifying her faith and love for her family. A powerful, passionately told story that will appeal to anyone who relishes stories of courage and conviction.

Of particular interest to readers who are interested in addiction/recovery.” —Midwest Book Review. Available on Amazon InRecovery.com

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SCIENCE

The Science of Addiction Mind Over Matter: Fighting Pain in the Face of Addiction.

LAWRENCE HARTMAN, JD

T

he overwhelming number of cases involving abuse of pain medication has doctors and patients alike re-thinking the wisdom of blindly prescribing pain meds.

The problem is, most people do not openly embrace pain. Generally, people desire to keep pain to a minimum, and medication has been viewed as the most viable option. Thankfully, new studies involving behavioral therapy and social support have shown sufficient promise to serve as a reasonable alternative in some milder cases.

PAIN

AND ADDICTION

These alternative approaches focus on the power of the mind and its incredible ability to alter human perception. The techniques involve educating patients on how to concentrate less on the pain and more on other aspects of their lives. Patients are taught how to distract themselves and think of ways to function in the face of pain.

Many of us experience levels of concentration like this while engaged in an activity that requires attentiveness, such as working on jigsaw or crossword puzzles, or engaging in a sport. Everything else disappears when you’re “in the zone,” and that’s the objective. It’s a form of mindfulness.

This approach also involves the power of positive attitude. There’s a strong link between depression and pain. Pain is responsive to mood and mood is responsive to social support. The idea is to change your mood and thus change the level of pain you are feeling. Moreover, opioids themselves can create hypersensitivity to pain, leading to increased use and then abuse. By avoiding a drug-based strategy for pain management altogether, the body better retains its natural ability to cope. This can help a person better deal with the immediate pain and with other issues that may arise.

A study was conducted by the University of Michigan Health System in Ann Arbor with 129 patients, most of them in their 40s and 50s and with a history of addiction.

The participants were receiving outpatient addiction treatment involving Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Half of the participants were randomly assigned to general support groups while the other half were assigned to ImPat sessions, adding a psychosocial component called “acceptance and commitment” therapy. While the study demonstrated positive results for both groups, the ImPat group, with the specialized therapy of additional social support, showed greater success.

This is positive news. People often find themselves caught in a Catch 22, balancing their pain against the possibility of addiction. Moreover, this potential is even more problematic for someone in recovery desperately trying to maintain sobriety. Thanks to this new approach, people have another option for a safe and healthy alternative in combating their pain with good, old-fashioned mind over matter. If you or a loved one are interested in exploring pain treatment using a reduced amount of pain medication, or no pain medication at all, consult your doctor and ask for a recommendation for a respected cognitive behavioral therapist in your area.

For additional information, you may also consult such resources as the American Society of Addiction Medicine (www.asam.org), the National Association of Addiction Treatment Providers (www.naatp.org), or find additional information on our website at www.InRecovery.com, where we feature all past content from our magazine, email newsletters and online blogs. As President Roosevelt once said, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” By overcoming your fear of short-term pain and taking it head on, you help avoid a potential lifetime of agony from drug addiction.

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Lawrence Hartman was a functioning addict for his entire adult life when he graduated from Columbia Law School and began a prestigious law career at top international law firms and as general counsel of a real estate company that traded on the NASDAQ. He became a serial entrepreneur and moved to Costa Rica, where his addiction spiraled out of control and landed him in federal prison. Now in recovery, Hartman shares his experiences and insights with other addicts, hoping to help them avoid a similar fate. Inrecovery.com

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WE’RE MOVING RECOVERY IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION. Compass Recovery Center offers intensive outpatient programs for drug, alcohol and gambling addictions. We provide our clients with individualized treatment programs to start them on the path to long-term recovery.

Compass Recovery Center is a state–licensed outpatient treatment program.

WE OFFER SERVICES FOR GAMBLING ISSUES AND MORE.

Our experience has shown that individuals in early sobriety have a better chance at long-term recovery by attending an extended care program. Most of our clients come to us seeking quality aftercare following their initial addiction treatment or detox. We have found that our personalized treatment programs provide the level of extended care to help our clients successfully return to their lives.

CONTACT US ONLINE AT compassrecoverycenters.com CALL US AT 1-800-216-1840

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FROM

OBAMACARE TO

TRUMP

CARE HARRY NELSON

Will the scope of addiction treatment narrow?

T

he last decade saw two major federal legal advances for addiction treatment. First, in 2008, the Mental Health Parity and Addiction Equity Act outlawed discrimination by health plans against coverage of addiction and other behavioral health conditions.

Second, in 2010, the Affordable Care Act (ACA) – known by supporters and detractors as ObamaCare – mandated that all health plans include addiction treatment in the definition of minimum essential benefits, ensuring access to patients irrespective of how they got health insurance.

The combination of these two laws opened the door to significant growth in the number of both residential beds and facilites in outpatient treatment programs for patients in need of addiction treatment.

Then, President Trump was elected in November 2016 on a platform to repeal ObamaCare. He promised to replace it with “something terrific.” Will there really be a replacement? Will it be terrific?

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Earlier this year, my partner, Rob Fuller, and I coauthored a book, From ObamaCare to TrumpCare: Why You Should Care, which attempts to answer these questions.

Our goal was to be apolitical and to “call balls and strikes” on both sides. Much has happened on the ground since our book came out. In March, President Trump and House Speaker Paul Ryan set their own health reform package, the American Health Care Act (AHCA), for a vote in the House and then canceled when it became clear the votes weren’t there. In the last week of April, they revived the bill, revised it to address concerns of Freedom Caucus House conservatives, and again pulled the bill when the changes lost support from more moderate members of the House. Finally, on May 4, the third version of the bill resolved conservatives’ concerns, passing in the House of Representatives. Attention now turns to the Senate, which will attempt to pass a bill. This would then be followed by negotiation to reconcile the two versions via a bicameral vote (or committee authorization to arrive at a final bill).

With all of this drama, I found myself thinking about the contrast between the chaos swirling around votes in real life and the cool of Kevin Spacey, aka President Frank Underwood, on the Netflix series, House of Cards, whose team always seems to have legislative vote counts down to a hard science before a bill goes before Congress. The last few months have been a reminder that truth is messier than fiction, and that counting the votes on healthcare reform is a complicated business.

So now that ACA repeal efforts have progressed after stalling out twice over intramural Republican conflict, can we still make any sense of what TrumpCare (aka, RyanCare) will mean for addiction treatment? We still don’t know if the Senate will pass legislation, let alone what the reconciliation between the House and Senate will be.

Despite the uncertainty, there has been enough movement to make some predictions. As we await the Republicans’ next move, some clues to how TrumpCare InRecovery.com

6/20/17 1:55 PM

may ultimately look are already available.

The following are three possible events that could unfold: Decreasing Levels of Insurance Coverage for Addiction Treatment. Although the ACA remains legislatively intact as of this writing, the situation on the ground is already shifting. On his first day in office, President Trump issued an Executive Order (EO) to “minimize the unwarranted economic and regulatory burdens” of the ACA. Confident that the ACA would be repealed, President Trump directed federal officials to “prepare to afford the States more flexibility and control to create a more free and open healthcare market.” Translation: federal officials and, in particular, Secretary of the Department of Health and Human Services, Tom Price, were directed to exercise their authority and discretion to not enforce the ACA. All indications point toward Secretary Price and other federal officials’ intentions to be faithful to the President’s EO. As a result, while the ACA remains law, it seems clear that Secretary Price will not enforce its provisions. When it comes to addiction treatment, the “hammer” in the ACA is the penalty for health plans that fail to offer minimum essential benefits that all plans were required to include, including addiction treatment. When the Department of Health and Human Services signals to the insurance industry that it does not intend to enforce these penalties, this translates into providing plans with more discretion.

While health plans have not yet reacted to their greater flexibility on minimum essential benefits, it is a safe bet that they will walk through the door the government has opened and take advantage of greater discretion. One manifestation of this smaller government, market-driven GOP vision is greater flexibility for health plans to establish different levels of coverage. In order to avoid litigation, our expectation is that there will continue to be some coverage for addiction treatment, but that it will be narrowed in scope.

For example, health plans are expected to begin offering more types of “low cost, low benefit” (LCLB) plans. Coverage will cost less and offer lower benefit levels, with the extreme being coverage only for catastrophic events in “high deductible health plans” (HDHP).

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This is consistent with the Republican vision of healthcare reform: driving pricing and spending downward by giving patients more “skin in the game” to incentivize more consumer-driven behavior, turning patients into value-oriented shoppers for cost-effective healthcare. The bottom line for addiction treatment will be a smaller pool of insurance-funded dollars and pressure on providers to offer lower cost services that patients can afford.

What will TrumpCare mean for the future of addiction treatment?

Reduced Enforcement of Mental Health Parity. Under the Obama Administration, the US Department of Labor tightened enforcement of the Mental Health Parity and Addiction Equity Act of 2008. The government expressed concern that health plans were moving too slowly to remove limitations that were barriers for behavioral care and discriminatory care relative to the easier availability of medical/surgical care. From the perspective of patients and providers, this served as a useful source of pressure to expand access to addiction treatment.

Under the Trump Administration, the Department of Labor, headed by Secretary Alex Acosta, appears to be positioned for a less adversarial role with employers. In general, the philosophy of reducing the regulatory burden on private companies will translate to greater flexibility not only for insurers (as described above), but also for employers and self-insured health plans.

With less enforcement of parity, expect to see the rise of more restrictive coverage criteria for addiction treatment. We anticipate reduced availability and narrower qualification standards for residential detoxification and treatment beds, and more pressure toward lower cost intensive outpatient program (IOP) services.

Focus on Increasing State-Level Opioid Abuse Prevention Efforts. While the reduction in government enforcement may

signal access challenges ahead in addiction treatment, one bright spot for TrumpCare’s approach to addiction treatment is likely to be a heightened focus on addiction prevention efforts, particularly with respect to opioids.

President Trump has been vocal about being a teetotaler because of his sensitivity to the role of alcohol abuse in the untimely death of his older brother, Freddy Jr. The President’s strong personal feelings about the problem of substance use disorders dovetails with growing public recognition of the seriousness of America’s opioid epidemic and the disturbing rates of overdose–related death rates nationwide.

Bipartisan support for addiction prevention efforts may increase as a result of this alarming trend. Consistent with the Republican philosophy of shifting oversight and responsibility from Washington, D.C. to the states, TrumpCare is likely to put the onus on states to expand prevention efforts. As states look to negotiate Medicaid waivers, the Administration is likely to condition federal funds on state implementation of opioid/drug prevention programs. The focus on prevention is likely to take precedence over treatment resources.

As healthcare reform remains on the federal government’s “to do” list in coming months, the particulars of TrumpCare will continue to unfold with regard to addiction treatment, as well as the government’s overall healthcare agenda. Many details remain to be negotiated. The stakeholders in addiction treatment – patients, family members, providers and employers – need to be paying attention to the ways in which insurance coverage and access to addiction treatment are changing.

Harry Nelson is the founder and managing partner of Nelson Hardiman, a healthcare specialty firm which is annually ranked among the best health care law firms by U.S. News & World Report. He recently authored the book, From Obamacare to Trumpcare: Why You Should Care, which provides a comprehensive survey of healthcare policy, discusses the opioid epidemic and portends the future of addiction treatment. Harry has served in leadership roles and volunteered his time for numerous non-profit organizations, with a focus on access to care, behavioral health, and endof- life planning. He currently chairs the Board of the American Addiction Treatment Association. http://www.nelsonhardiman.com/

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A VISIT TO RECOVERY GETTING DOWN TO BUSINESS

GRAY MONTAGUE

Pennsylvania State Representative Harry Readshaw (PA House of Representatives, District 36, Allegheny), represents several neighborhoods in the Pittsburgh area.

One of these neighborhoods is known as Carrick. According to a study released by the Allegheny County Department of Human Services and the Allegheny County Health Department in July 2016 entitled Opiate-Related Overdose Deaths in Allegheny County: Risks and Opportunities for Intervention, Carrick is a “high-risk community” with the highest rate of opiate-related overdose deaths in the county. It is also where Readshaw has been a longtime resident.

In February 2017, a staffer from Recovery United Pittsburgh, Inc. (RUP) in the Carrick neighborhood met with Representative Readshaw at his office to inform him of their work to help combat addiction in Pittsburgh. RUP manages two recovery homes in the Carrick neighborhood, and Readshaw expressed interested in paying them a visit.

Representative Readshaw has dedicated his time to serving the constituents in all parts of his district and is devoted to a high degree of service and community outreach efforts. His staff is committed to bringing superior constituent services to people throughout the district.

RUP is a nonprofit, tax-exempt organization founded by people in recovery. It is the largest single provider of recovery housing in Pittsburgh, with five gender-specific homes totaling 78 beds. RUP also provides integrated outpatient treatment services and medication-assisted treatment licensed by the Pennsylvania Department of Health and Human Services.

The organization takes a unique approach to treatment, operating under the premise that there are many pathways to recovery and there should be many supports and services in place to help people attain a sustainable recovery. The four central programs offered include the following: 44

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Recovery Support Housing Recovery housing in a safe and supportive atmosphere.

Outpatient Treatment Services Group, individual and family therapy.

Medication-Assisted Treatment Onsite physician care, counseling and medications such as Suboxone.

Resource Coordination Connecting patients with supportive services to enhance wellness.

Readshaw’s visit focused on RUP’s recovery homes. In addition to Representative Readshaw, several other people joined the tour: Megan Neuf and Brittani Cameron, constituent liaisons from the office of Councilwoman Natalia Rudiak (City of Pittsburgh), and Teri Cataldo-Fazio from the office of State Senator Jay Costa (D-Forest Hills). Also in attendance was Tom Smith, news editor for the South Pittsburgh Reporter.

RUP President John Miller, in recovery for over 18 years, commented: “One of the best aspects of our organization is that it was founded by, and managed almost exclusively by, people in recovery themselves. We have direct experience in being able to recover from this awful disease, and we truly are all about helping people who are desperate because we’ve been there.”

An enlightening discussion ensued around two new pieces of legislation that Senator Costa has introduced to ensure that addicts have access to the treatment they need: legislation that would provide support to families seeking emergency treatment for loved ones and allow involuntary commitment for addiction treatment. All were in agreement that tens of thousands of addicted citizens are at risk of losing insurance coverage if the Affordable Care Act is repealed and not replaced.

Also discussed was the fact that regulations for Pennsylvania recovery houses could be imminent.

Readshaw and the other guests toured The Wynoka House, a women’s recovery home with 16 beds and Pattie’s Place, a 16-bed men’s house. They were given a rundown of the day-to-day activities of the programs which include: participating in educational opportunities, outpatient counseling, Twelve Step meetings, work with sponsors, activities of daily living, working and volunteering in the community, and helping newcomers who come into the house in need of a helping hand. The visitors were impressed by the amount of activities RUP residents fit into a day.

Representative Readshaw was impressed with the two recovery houses he toured and was glad to have a better understanding of the issues facing people in early recovery. He pledged his support for Recovery United Pittsburgh’s programs and said that he was glad that RUP was doing something positive and practical to fight against the opiate overdose death epidemic in Allegheny County. At the conclusion of his visit, Readshaw commented on the need for additional reputable recovery houses in Pittsburgh. www.recoveryunitedpittsburgh.com

John Miller, president and founder, explained that RUP housing is in constant demand from all of the regional rehabilitation facilities, detoxes, hospitals and shelters, as well as jails and prisons. It has also housed addicts seeking recovery from such distant states as California, Washington, Illinois and New York. Many of the people in prison today have underlying issues of addiction, and many come to RUP after being released.

Gray Montague is the Director of Development and Marketing, Recovery United Pittsburgh, Inc., the largest provider of recovery housing with integrated outpatient treatment services in Western Pennsylvania. He has worked as an executive and consultant for a number of nonprofit organizations over the past 30 years and has taught at Arizona State University, University of Arizona, Point Park University and the University of Pittsburgh, among others. Gray also provides grant writing, fundraising, marketing, web design and strategic planning services through his company, Montague Consulting. cadymontague@gmail.com

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The SOBRIETY

SCENE RICHARD PERSETTE

Yes, you are what you eat.

It seems as if everyone nowadays is into the whole ‘superfood’ craze.

We’re all searching for that healthy way to find the fountain of youth and cure all our ailments. Several of these superfoods have qualities which may be beneficial in fighting addiction. It’s a good idea to consider adding them to your diet.

It can be rough to eat a healthy diet, particularly for those of us in recovery. We often search for comfort foods to help fight off the stress. But, in doing so, we are actually doing more harm than good. With just a little more mindfulness in our eating habits, we can actually nurture our recovery with a healthy cycle for both our minds and bodies.

Vitamin C has proven to be a great reliever of anxiety. The Journal of Psychopharmacology reported lower levels of stress related hormones for adults dosed with Vitamin C for two weeks. Natural foods containing Vitamin C include oranges, grapefruits and blueberries, which all make for nutritious, delicious snacks.

Cellular health is also important. After all, damaged cells in the brain are what help prompt the disease. Fish rich in Omega 3 and Pomegranates are particularly good, but really any foods naturally containing Vitamins A, C and E will do the trick.

The important sources of Vitamin C are any citrus fruits, such as oranges and grapes. Strawberries, raspberries, cabbages, cauliflower, other leafy vegetables, red peppers, potatoes, broccoli, chilies, watercress, parsley, Brussels sprouts, cantaloupes, mange tout, and kiwi fruits are also rich sources of this vitamin. The cooking of food at low temperatures and for short times is important to keep the Vitamin C preserved and beneficial in the food.

Finally, consider green tea as an after dinner drink. It helps calm your nerves, and it too is full of anti-oxidants.

Mindfulness. Living In The Moment.

For all its wonders and increased acceptance, there are still many of us who consider practicing Yoga, Meditation or Mindfulness as solely something for hippies, gurus and people wearing loose fitting robes and playing tambourines at airports and crowded bus stations. Yet, science itself is proving how helpful it can be. How can we say no to science?

What is Mindfulness?

The short version is, the art of living in the moment. You tune out all other thoughts, from the regrets of yesterday to the worries of tomorrow. If it’s something you cannot change or control, there is no point worrying about it. Be ‘present’. It’s sort of like an extension of the Serenity Prayer, with intense focus on the ‘here and now’.

Helpful websites include:

eomega.org

contextualscience.org

mbpti.org

What is my self-talk?

And do I like what I hear?

Breathing, for example, is a common theme, in-and-out, thinking of nothing else, but it can really be anything. Your sense of feel or taste are also great subjects, as well as particular movements of your body, like during Yoga.

Don’t think you can do it? I too was a skeptic, my mind a constant jumble of thoughts, until I tried it just once. I was hooked. You’d be surprised how easy it really is. centerformsc.org

Mindfulness is the ultimate in stress and anxiety reduction, so it’s an excellent tool for use in recovery, to help you stay at ease. Want to learn more?

Please check out the websites below and keep an eye out for exercises and techniques coming soon to InRecovery.com, as we expand to aid in your recovery.

umassmed.edu (search ‘Mindfulness’)

Shake Addiction by Changing your story.

“We hold these truths to be self evident...” are extremely important words in the US Constitution as it goes on to remind us that “all men are created equal.” That key line, changing the lives of billions of people for over 200 years, got me thinking...how often do I take things that are merely beliefs and convince myself that they are absolute, unchangeable truths?

Our lives and how we live them are based on conditions. Some will never change, like ‘I’m a man’, or that ‘I am of European descent’.

However, many of our conditions such as ‘I’m a firefighter’ or ‘I’m a Democrat’ can change during the course of our lives. The problem can arise though, when we mistakenly believe temporary conditions to be permanent, particularly when these beliefs are negative like ‘I’m stupid’, ‘I can’t live without gambling’ or ‘I’m fat’. We lose sight of the the fact that these thoughts can and should change to improve our lives.

Some people playfully call it ‘Stinkin’-Thinkin’, but despite the light-hearted reference, that kind of detrimental self-talk can ruin your life.

If only we could teach more people so that they might turn their lives around by simply changing their story.

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There are different therapies that work based on that concept. One of the most well-known is called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. The logic behind it is that we’re self-programmed to think a certain way and need to break the cycle to create a healthier mindset. By learning how to flip-the-script we can achieve incredible, life-changing results.

So, ask yourself: ‘What is my self-talk? Do I like what I hear?’ If the answer is ‘no’ then it’s time to investigate ways to better appreciate all the positive in YOU - there’s plenty of it. Then build on that positive to get out of the rut toward a happy, more fulfilling life.

There’s an old saying... ”Your self-talk determines your self worth.”

InRecovery Magazine July 2017

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6/20/17 2:01 PM

MY COUPON FILE

Like the glasses I wear to correct my vision, the prescription on my Al-Anon glasses gets stronger each year.

KATHY MILLER

T

he other day I found myself cleaning out my coupon file. It’s the kind of thing I often find myself doing while I’m working through Steps Four through Nine. I think this is because cleaning out my files, my garage, or my closets is also about looking at what I have and what I thought useful at some point. I can then see what no longer suits me and what I’m willing to let go of.

It has always felt fitting that I begin both processes in the spring when I celebrate each Al-Anon birthday. It’s as though I am making room for new growth, replacing what’s spent, and it feels as reliable as the seasons.

On this particular day, I stacked coupons for things I no longer need or want in one pile. In a smaller pile, I placed discoveries that felt like gifts all over again: a forgotten movie pass, an unused gift card, etc. Of course, I found some disappointments, too, coupons I wished I had used but had passed their expiration date. Those coupons are the reason I like to take inventory on a regular basis, so I can take advantage of them before it’s too late.

As I work, I think about the things I’ve found over the years in my Al-Anon folder.

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I didn’t think I had been affected by alcoholism, though both my parents suffered from the disease. My father led a life of pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization, as the book Alcoholics Anonymous puts it. I know this only through public records. He and my mother divorced when I was a baby; and those records contain a wealth of information. Their divorce was not my father’s first, second or even third. When he left our lives, he closed the door firmly behind him.

Before I got into recovery, I considered my mother to be a functioning alcoholic.

What I didn’t realize until I spent time in the program was that she was also an untreated codependent. She blamed her problems on my father. After he left, she married another man just like my father, with his own trail of public records documenting arrests for public drunkeness and assault.

Chaos filled our home, along with every kind of abuse. When I’d wake up to my parents’ fights, my heart beat as fast as a sparrow’s. It was scary; but if I’m honest, it was also exciting. Often, the police came; some nights, they came more than once.

Adrenaline became my drug of choice. To this day, I still love a good rollercoaster.

When I turned 18, I thought I’d said goodbye to all that. I was an adult, I reasoned, free to live differently. Ultimately, however, I mimicked the behavior I had witnessed at home. Like my mother, I yelled and saw myself as a victim. Like my father, I blew up and moved on. I left relationships, jobs, even cities, always seeking that mythical new beginning where, this time, things would be different.

After a particularly messy break up, I began to realize there was something wrong with me. My romantic relationships always ended badly, and I had no idea why.

I thought back over my partners and could find only one thing they had in common: me.

I’ve read that members of alcoholic families play different roles. As an only child, I played them all. In elementary school, I practiced being invisible, literally, creeping around with my back to the walls like a spy. When my mother and stepfather didn’t look at me, I thought it worked. As a teenager, I gave the “Wild Child” a go.

As a parent, when my alcoholic daughter got herself into trouble, I donned my hero cape and flew to the rescue, checkbook and checklist in hand.

That checklist quickly found its way into my Al-Anon discard pile, along with my InRecovery.com

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Like the glasses I wear to correct my vision, the prescription on my Al-Anon rack of Spending Habitsglasses gets stronger(text/email each year.alerts) me Alerts of Spending

In Steps Six and Seven, I became willing to take action on the piles I had made, and recognized that I couldn’t do it alone.

With as much humility as I could muster, I asked my Higher Power to do for me what I couldn’t do for myself.

Over the years, Steps Eight And Nine opened all the doors I had closed behind tes Need for Cash or Gift Cards me, allowing me to heal the broken Among the discoveries in my Al-Anon relationships I had left in my wake. file(liquor/ATM/casino, were my relationship with my Higher Before Al-Anon, my longest romantic d Purchases etc.)

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in 3-D. When I strapped them on, things that seemed unremarkable popped out in surprising ways.

Like the glasses I wear to correct my vision, the prescription on my Al-Anon glasses gets stronger each year. As I sift through this year’s coupons, I wonder how they’ll look when spring cleaning comes around again.

Just as this year’s growth gives way to the fullness of summer with its promise of this year’s harvest, I’ve also started a third pile.

It contains the coupons whose effective date have not yet arrived. They represent the potential my future recovery holds.

In the meantime, I’ll keep working at the neverending task of sorting through my files, my closets, and my garage, doing the best I can to make sense of the chaos, one day at a time. With curiosity and anticipation, I look forward to what I might newly discover there in the seasons to come.

Kathy Miller celebrated nine years in the Program in April. She lives near Yarnell, Arizona, where she helped start a meeting five years ago.

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Everyday Miracle When battling addiction becomes a full-time job.

LYNLEE KRUSE

I

was dedicated to my personal job.

I woke up every morning and went straight to work, and I don’t mean to a job where I made a living. If I’m being honest, I infrequently made it to my actual place of employment, if I even had one.

I spent all my waking hours, and hours I should’ve been sleeping, completely dedicated to my personal job that never gave anything back – a job named Addiction.

I poured my heart and soul into addiction.

No matter what state I was in, I’d muster enough energy to get out of bed; not because I wanted to, but because I had no other choice. I seldom missed a day of work. Actually, I was beyond dedicated to my job; I was an obsessed workaholic.

On the rare and awful days when I was unable to meet my “boss,” the following day was, at the very least, 15 times worse.

I’d wake up famished, fatigued, weak, depressed, angry, cold and hot, and at the same time, restless, irritable and discontent. What did I tend to first? I didn’t eat, I didn’t try to get more rest or talk to anyone about how I was feeling.

Instead, I immediately tried to scrape together money for the boss.

You might have guessed the metaphor by now. Drugs and alcohol were not just my job, they were my all-powerful taskmasters. They owned me. I was a

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simple servant to Master Drugs and an eager slave to Master Alcohol. I was a dedicated employee to the boss, the owner, the almighty employer: Addiction.

You could call me a druggie, a thief, a criminal, an ugly drunk or a waste of life, and I would take no offense. The God’s honest truth is that I was all of those things and more. I felt and dealt with the gut-wrenching shame and the soul-crushing remorse of carrying all of those unfortunate titles, but the cold, hard fact was that I used drugs and alcohol to fill my inner holes and relieve my boredom and terrible loneliness. I couldn’t care less what you called me, so long as I got my fix.

I spent all my waking hours, and hours I should’ve been sleeping, completely dedicated to a job that never gave anything back – a job named Addiction.

It was a little dangerous, immoral, and different than any way I had ever lived before.

It quickly consumed me, which, truthfully, was okay with me. For quite some time, I was utterly content with the “thing” I had become, and I had every intention of continuing on this path until I ceased to exist.

There was nothing glamorous about the life I was living. At any given time, it had surely been at least seven days since I’d showered, three since I’d brushed my teeth, 24 hours since I’d eaten, and several days since I’d had a full night’s sleep. It was disastrous and ugly, but I’d lost the capacity to care.

I’m not unique. There are people all over the world who have felt, or are currently feeling, this way; so, what comes next is extremely important: I quit that job. I can’t say precisely how, or even pinpoint the moment when, but somewhere, somehow, I crossed a metaphorical line between the desire to drink and drug and the desire to live a better life.

I could chalk it up to several contributing factors. I could say that I was pregnant and wanted to sober up for my baby. I didn’t want to die. I didn’t want legal consequences. All of this was true, but it still wasn’t enough to push me over that line.

It was something else that finally did it. My vision got better and I began to see all the InRecovery.com

6/20/17 2:06 PM

things I didn’t have. I had given away my self-respect and thrown my dignity out of the window; I didn’t have faith, courage, love or hope. I had an emptiness I could no longer mask, and every time I called my dealer, it rapidly increased. Every time I put substances into my blood or I looked in the mirror without the slightest clue who was looking back at me, it grew.

Those feelings pushed me into sobriety.

They gifted me with the desperation and willingness to do whatever it took to genuinely feel and be better. One night, I found myself looking up at the stars. Before I could stop them, these words came flowing out of my mouth: “Please, whatever it takes, just please; I don’t want to do this anymore. Help me.”

I’ve managed to put together 1,049 24hour periods of sobriety. Because of those hours, I’ve been able to put together a life in which I don’t have to struggle or be miserable. It’s a life full of healthy relationships, of giving to others rather than taking from them, a beautiful life that I appreciate every day for the miracle it is.

Against all odds, I’m here today, thriving and smiling.

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Though every day isn’t perfect, each sober day is a great day.

employer values me. These are things I’m not willing to give away.

I’ve had days where I’ve argued with someone close to me or been consumed with rage and bursting with hurt feelings or insecurities. I’ve had days when I decided to wallow in self-pity. I’ve felt immense fear, worry and remorse. I’ve been through my share of physical pain, including childbirth and surgery.

Everything I have is tied to my sobriety, a state of being that could crash and burn at any moment. All it would take would be for me to put down my tools, stop growing or turn my back on this newfound Power who has granted me these blessings.

However, despite all of these imperfect and sometimes difficult days, I’ve not found it necessary to give up on my happiness or on myself. Sobriety is the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but the results are entirely worth every bit of my blood, sweat and tears.

Today, I’m proud of my life and the person I’ve become. I have countless material blessings, but I’m even richer in spirit.

I never imagined life could be so full. My two-year-old daughter looks at me like she’s never seen anyone quite so wonderful. She falls asleep in my arms because she trusts me. I have a healthy, supportive relationship and a warm, safe home. I help my family and am present for them. My

I know all this, but still wake up every morning and go straight to work. Again, I don’t mean to an office, though I go there, as well. I go to my personal job. I spend my waking hours dedicated to a job that gives me absolutely everything. I am grateful for this job and everything it took me to get where I am today. I call this job Recovery.

I am a recovering alcoholic and addict.

Lynlee Kruse lives recovery in Louisville, Kentucky. She works a full-time job and attends school part-time as a criminal justice major at the University of Louisville. She’s the mom of a two-year-old and stepmom of a five-year-old. lrkruse1@gmail.com

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6/20/17 2:06 PM

A Call to Action It’s time for a fully coordinated attack on addiction epidemic.

JOHN SHINHOLSER

An “Achilles’ heel” of the national addiction recovery movement is that, much like a great team huddled up to decide on a good play, everyone in the huddle thinks they have the right answer. Not being able to agree on how best to proceed gives the advantage to the opposing team. In the recovery movement, these teams include bureaucracies, politicians and special interest groups.

As an authentic recovery community organization, we look to national advocacy groups to coordinate and agree on policies that can help shape meaningful changes. This means getting federal tax dollars to the local charities and delivering the lion’s share of entry-level addiction triage services to those that need it most.

These services include same day appropriate medication assisted detox, same day admission to a minimum recovery residence living facility, access to recovery community centers, in-patient/out-patient treatment, and beyond. It is time to put a stop to the unadmitted reality that our national solution for addiction and mental

health epidemic is the criminal justice system.

There are a balanced number of national organizations with niche market share of “mission” duties. However, most of these agencies answer to their “master,” the funders, the boards or their founders. In so doing, they weaken their collective influence and power. Our national agencies are all over the map, taking care of their missions and duties yet missing the most important opportunity of all, “The Power House” of real change and resources.

I do not consider special interest groups’ gains as beneficial for the overall recovery movement. Do not confuse this opinion with sour grapes.

Diluting the potential of the emerging recovery movement for self-satisfaction or calming an inward calling can be a slippery slope for our national movement. The practice of siphoning off recovery capitol for monetary gains has got to stop.

Most authentic local and state recovery community organizations genuinely want to help newcomers and families get the help they need when they need it. Clearly, most resources and policies

greatly depend on federal policies and financial support, which creates the need for a very strong and united national presence and influence.

Imagine the power we could harness if we could come together and say, “this is what we need.” Just think of what we could accomplish if we began working with traditional, nonprofessional agencies like the National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence (NCADD), Faces and Voice of Recovery, Facing Addiction, Fed-Up, The Addict Mom, Shatterproof, The Purple Project and beyond.

I know what some of you are thinking.

“We are already making progress,” and “We got this, that and the other thing.”

To this, I say that while this may be true for the special interest groups, the authentic entry-level recovery community organizations in the local communities still aren’t as far as they need to be.

Marines learn to prioritize battlefield first aid by stopping the bleeding, protecting the wound, and treating shock.

What this looks like for our national addiction epidemic is to provide same day admission to a safe place, safe detox, safe shelter and a community to recovery in. It seems as if our national collectiveness is more centered on individual groups protecting the wound (their mission) without first stopping the bleeding. If we don’t stop the bleeding, there will be no wound to protect. This is how and why we are in shock as a national movement.

TEAM stands for “Together Everyone Achieves More.” It’s time we truly unite and move forward as a team!

TEAM stands for “Together Everyone Achieves More.”

It’s time we truly unite and move forward as a team!

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InRecovery Magazine July 2017

John Shinholser is the President of the McShin Foundation, founded in 2004 in Richmond, Virginia, by John and his wife, Carol McDaid.

John has dedicated his life to helping individuals and families in or seeking recovery from the disease of addiction. mcshin.org

InRecovery.com

6/20/17 2:11 PM

Grateful Not Smug MEDITATION

MICHAEL LYDING

“Since they have come to believe in a Power greater than themselves . . . and to do certain simple things, there has been revolutionary change in their way of living and thinking.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 50

Nothing changes if nothing changes.

Nothing changed. I drank yesterday, the day before, the day before that, and on and on. The yesterdays added up to over two decades. Then, something changed.

One day, I didn’t drink.

I went to AA. Something else changed.

My drinking friends disappeared.

I went to meetings. I worked the steps.

Something changed again. I got to enjoy meetings. I got to be grateful.

I found that elusive Higher Power Then, there were more changes.

I prayed. I meditated.

Change continued. While doing the same things I had learned to do, I continued to get better.

What changes? My attitude. I become more in charge. I become completely in charge. Alcohol is no longer completely in charge.

What else can change? Well, I could cut back on meetings. I could pray every other day. I could read a meditation passage rather than ponder it. I must jealously guard my recovery against those thoughts.

Nothing changes if nothing changes.

Mike Lyding has been drawn to prayer and meditation since becoming sober in December 1993. At age 58, while meditating, he discovered he had a desire to write. So far, the result has been two daily meditation books written primarily for recovering communities: Grateful Not Smug (2006) and Gratitude a Verb (2009). mike.lyding@hotmail.com

Treating Addiction Through Gospel-Centered Solutions Effective Addiction Recovery For Men and Women

. Gender-specific treatment . Peace of mind through lifetime contract . Residential, outpatient and sober living . Most insurance accepted Call anytime. We can help.

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6/22/17 7:13 AM

My Lifelong Battle B.A. AUSTIN

S

elf-esteem. Two simple words describing a state of mind that dramatically affects how we feel about ourselves and the way those feelings affect our lives.

Positive self-esteem enables us to live with an inward sense of security and self-respect. Low self-esteem forces us to live a life of doubt, insecurity and anxiety about who we are as people and where we fit into society. Unfortunately, I have battled low self-esteem for much of my life.

From the outside looking in, it is easy to question why someone like me would ever feel anxiety, self-doubt and worthlessness.

Born into a prominent, wealthy family in Memphis, Tennessee, I was a child of privilege. I had an idyllic upbringing. I grew up in a 10,000-square-foot, award-winning Japanese-style home and had every imaginable item of material value. I had a wonderful nanny and the finest clothes. I went to the best schools and on exotic vacations with my family.

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I wanted for nothing – on the outside, that is.

Oh, how much hearing those words would have meant to me.

On the inside, however, I hid feelings of loneliness, insecurity, sadness and anxiety. Years later, these feelings played a major role in my downward spiral into the clutches of alcoholism, which culminated in a 30-day stay at the Betty Ford Center.

Although I was a good student, an accomplished pianist, the editor of the school newspaper, and a member of the second class to enroll in a prestigious, formerly all-male college, I was never quite good enough in his eyes.

My parents were important figures in my upbringing, and I loved them dearly.

However, they had expectations for their only daughter that, in my mind, I knew I could never fulfill. My dad was a successful businessman: strong-willed, determined and tough. He expected only the best from me. My academic performance was all-important and he demanded topnotch grades. Perhaps this was his focus because in his eyes, I would never be pretty or “as pretty as your mom.” While I am sure he loved me, I never heard the words “I love you.”

My mom, the embodiment of class and a Jackie Kennedy look-alike, seemed primarily interested in my physical appearance. In her eyes, I needed to look the part of a proper and beautiful Southern woman; she was always shopping with me at the most exclusive shops and buying the most stylish clothes. Although I dressed to please her, my outward appearance only succeeded in hiding those same feelings of insecurity and anxiety.

When I returned to Memphis after my first semester in college, my mom was horrified when she noticed that I, like many first-year students, had put on the InRecovery.com

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dreaded “freshman 15.” When the “situation” did not “improve” by the time I returned home for the summer, I was put on a plane to a fat farm in California. I did not go voluntarily.

I was 36 years old when my mom passed away. Shortly thereafter, my husband and I separated, and my usual feelings of anxiety and worthlessness multiplied – a lot.

I had the sadness of losing my mom, coupled with the pain of a failed marriage and failing my daughter and son. I was lonely, sad and lost. I felt like a complete failure.

So began my gradual seven-year descent into a wine addiction that moved from a simple glass each night to one, or even two, bottles. My family history is littered with alcoholism; I suspect the illness was always lying dormant somewhere inside me. However, it was undoubtedly pushed along by my years of feeling inadequate and embarrassed about who I really was.

Wine quieted my mind and helped me forget how far I had fallen.

Thankfully, my then 16-year-old daughter, Savannah, wise beyond her years, went to

my older brother, Will, with her concerns about me. A family intervention was arranged and I was soon on my way to the Betty Ford Center. Although I did not know it at the time, that 30-day stay would lay the groundwork that would eventually allow me to accept myself.

Turn your low self-esteem into positive self-esteem.

Now in my twentieth year of sobriety, I often wonder how a person who was broken for so many years could find the strength and courage to rebuild herself in her own eyes. So much hard work has gone into that journey. It was not easy to move from continuous feelings of anxiety to feeling peaceful. It was not easy to go from hating myself to liking who I am. It was not easy to turn a life of low self-esteem into a life that now includes positive self-esteem.

Family.

Job. Money.

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With the work that began almost 20 years ago, I have discovered that I am a person of worth. I have much to give to myself and to others. Although the path I have led was different from what was expected of me, I have achieved a life filled with love, faith, fulfillment, generosity and gratitude.

For those of you who are experiencing similar struggles, please know that there is hope. There is a life for you that includes self-respect and self-love. Don’t give up! All of us are blessed with the inner strength to change our view of who we are and to reinvent ourselves. I now look forward to each day and to my future, wherever it may lead. My hope is that you, too, will find the courage to turn your low self-esteem into positive self-esteem.

B.A. Austin is an independent art history lecturer with a BA from Bowdoin College and an MA from the University of Memphis. She completed in-depth studies of Florentine Renaissance art in Italy. Austin has worked in the museum and academic fields for 30 years. She lives in Southern California near her son, daughter, son-in-law and three grandsons who are the joys of her life. www.baaustin.com

Just how much are you willing to lose?

1-800-NEXT-STEP problemgambling.az.gov

InRecovery Magazine July 2017

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6/20/17 2:20 PM

THE

POWER OF

FEAR

Examining the dual roles of fear in our lives.

THOM RUTLEDGE

W

e all know fear. I’m not just talking about the big fears like terror and panic, but fear in all its variations.

Fear is our constant companion, our day-to-day nemesis and our ultimate challenge.

Fear hides inside words like anxiety, worry and nervousness. It ranges from the anxiety of giving a presentation at work to the anxiety about terrorism in the world, from worry that our shoes don’t match an outfit to worry about world hunger.

external causes. “No, thank you,” we say.

“I don’t need any real danger to activate my fear. I can do it perfectly well myself.”

Likewise, we take legitimate fear and work with it until we are paralyzed, barely able to breathe.

It fuels negative and judgmental thoughts and the desire for control. Fear underlies guilt, shame and anger. Every difficult emotion we experience represents some kind of threat: to our self-esteem; to the stability of a relationship; to something we want or want to avoid; even to our right to be alive. Look at any difficult emotion and there, below the guilt, shame and anger, below the negativity and the judgments, you will find fear.

Fear is not always negative. In fact, fear is essentially a positive mechanism, an ingenious natural design to keep us safe. There are plenty of opportunities for healthy fear to work its magic, guiding us this way and that, alerting us to danger and aligning us with what is good and right with the world.

Healthy and Unhealthy Fear. Let’s begin by differentiating between two different kinds of fear: healthy and unhealthy.

Healthy fear stands guard responsibly, informing us immediately of real danger. It’s the anxiety and worry pervading our daily lives that are the real troublemakers. Neurotic fear, as it is called, exaggerates and even invents dangers. Healthy fear is about protection and guidance. Neurotic fear is about the need to be in control. Healthy

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Unfortunately, we’ve created a spin-off: fear we self-impose without the need for

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fear inspires us to do what can be done in the present. Neurotic fear borrows trouble from the future.

Begin to characterize your healthy fear and your neurotic fear as two advisors, each with their own personality and agenda. Perceiving yourself “in relationship with” your fears, rather than possessed by them, is the single most powerful technique I have discovered to help overcome the control that neurotic fear imposes.

Imagine this scene: You sit in an office with two advisors. Healthy Fear is the strong, silent type, vigilant and ready to inform you of real dangers as they come into view. It does not expend valuable energy advising you of every conceivable danger or conjuring up the innumerable ways things could go wrong. It sorts through a tremendous amount of complex information; its suggested responses are simple and efficient.

Each report of real danger is accompanied by reasonable recommendations for the intensity and timing of your response. If a bus is approaching, Healthy Fear will insist that you get out of the street, just as Healthy Fear will tell you to make an appointment with your doctor if you have an unexplained, persistent pain.

Your other advisor, Neurotic Fear, is anything but silent. It often shows up early in life, preferring to deal in extremes, talking nonstop and pointing out every conceivable danger. It promotes a steady anxiety, inspiring tightness in your chest and butterflies in your stomach. It paces the floor, never sitting down. Its very presence makes you nervous. It constantly reminds you of negative outcomes. Neurotic Fear loves to predict total disaster. Its philosophy seems to be “If something could go wrong, let’s focus on it.”

Most of us know these two advisors intimately. Healthy Fear lives within us for one reason only: to protect us. The relationship dynamic with Neurotic Fear is controlling overprotection. Neurotic Fear is in charge of your life. This “controller” promotes a state of perpetual self-doubt.

Whether the controlling personality is a parent, spouse or neurotic fear within us, the lower our self-esteem, the easier we are to control.

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Even after we have uncovered the more authentic voice of Healthy Fear, we still tend to lean toward the voice of Neurotic Fear. Are we inherently negative? Do we enjoy being afraid all the time? Are we just slow learners?

The answer is none of the above. Neurotic Fear embeds itself into our thinking through years of repetition. As a natural result, these negative messages achieve a high level of credibility. They are so familiar to us that we tend to trust them. We have been steadily and thoroughly brainwashed by Neurotic Fear.

We all know fear. I’m not just talking about the big fears like terror and panic, but fear in all its variations.

Fear is our constant companion, our day-to-day nemesis and our ultimate challenge.

The Challenge. We must learn to make a conscious choice to turn away from Neurotic Fear and toward Healthy Fear.

In my practice, I use a roleplaying exercise to illustrate this scenario. I ask two people to take on the role of Healthy and Neurotic Fear advisors for a volunteer, who sits between them. After creating a short list of messages for each advisor (specially designed for the volunteer), both advisors speak to the person simultaneously.

Participants usually report that while they try to stay focused on Healthy Fear, they gradually lose the battle, ultimately hearing Neurotic Fear’s messages clearly while losing awareness of the healthy messages. Often by the end of the exercise, the person in the middle is noticeably leaning toward Neurotic Fear.

To help the volunteer overcome Neurotic Fear, I ask them to turn their back to Neurotic Fear and face Healthy Fear. With rep-

etition and focused attention, the strength, credibility and wisdom of Healthy Fear begins to assume its rightful place.

Final scene: Speaking directly to Neurotic Fear, I ask the volunteer to say the following words: I am coming to understand who and what you are, and I definitely see how much power you have in my life.

I know I cannot just make you go away, but I can learn to stop listening to the lies you tell me about myself.

This is the beginning of the end for you and a new beginning for me.

Neurotic Fear rolls its eyes and says, “Whatever.” It remains unfazed until we actually begin to change.

Then Healthy Fear responds: Remember, our task here is not to be rid of Neurotic Fear, but to destroy its credibility. You may still hear what it says and feel its toxic, negative energy, but you will understand it and know it is not part of your authentic self. It will not be easy to change your thinking, but you can learn that Neurotic Fear is not your friend.

The Solution. While fear can be a major influence in our lives, it is not always a negative one. In fact, fear is essentially a positive mechanism, an ingenious natural design to keep us safe. It is there to get our attention, to alert us to danger, to guide us out of harm’s way, and to help us to align with what is good and right with the world.

How we face and respond to our individual fears is integral to how we respond to one another. When we make the decision to stand and face our individual demons, we contribute to the potential for positive change throughout the world. Our personal growth work is the pebble in the pond creating a ripple effect. Our treatment of our family and friends and even ourselves can effect change on a grand scale. This change begins with facing our own fears.

Thom Rutledge is a psychotherapist and author of several books, including Embracing Fear and The Self-Forgiveness Handbook. He has been featured on NBC’s Today Show, CNN’s Anderson Cooper and has consulted with The Dr. Phil Show. www.thomrutledge.com.

InRecovery Magazine July 2017

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6/20/17 2:22 PM

THE KEYS TO RESTORATION A personal struggle defined in five words.

DR. DAN L. EDMUNDS

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L

ack of meaning, validation and identity are common themes within addiction. Overcoming these themes is the key to opening the door to immense possibilities in recovery.

My personal struggle began with what I call the Five Ds: Distance I put up an unnecessary wall to distance my self from others.

Duality I led a double life, wearing masks and playing games. I worked hard to help others, all the while ignoring the warning signs of my own wellbeing.

Disillusionment I was always an idealist. My unrealized dreams and visions left me unsatisfied and afraid of my own feelings and emotions. I preferred to be numb.

Denial I did not want to admit that someone in the helping profession could need help, so I simply pretended my problems didn’t exist.

Despair I sought to numb painful experiences at the bottom of a bottle as my life caved in all around me.

Alcohol beat me down each time I reached out for a meaningful embrace.

It took the helping hands of others to gradually lifted me out of the grasp of my five Ds. Gradually, I came to a patient acceptance, a mindfulness of the small joys I had overlooked. I set aside my masks. I began seeking authenticity, acknowledging and addressing my fears. This shift became my salvation and restored hope to my life.

Many people search and search, then become disillusioned when they come up empty. Others are content to adopt another person’s concept of meaning, but in this, lose their own. Still others create meaning out of waves of painful experiences, filling the void with substances.

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Lack of meaning, validation and identity are common themes within addiction.

Overcoming these themes is the key to opening the door to immense possibilities in recovery.

On my path, I discovered that meaning is not something that can be found; it is something you create. I created meaning in service to others and in forging community. It came as I brought down the barriers that had isolated me from other people. In their place, I developed new, adaptive ways of addressing my sensitive nature; meditation and mindfulness became key components in my daily life. I have also learned the concept of reframing, realizing that how I choose to look upon each day as a choice. If my day consists of one great event and a number of bad ones, I notice and appreciate the positive.

Though the door to recovery may be open, we cannot expect people to immediately rush across the threshold.

Those struggling with addiction need guidance and encouragement. A confrontational approach in the therapeutic setting will only give rise to an equal response of retaliation, denial and defensiveness. An approach that is based on benevolence, service, and support of core human values, will restore humanity to those who are broken. Authenticity will give rise to honest interactions between addict and therapist.

Modeling humility and kindness will create a ripple effect and the casting off of old, harmful behaviors, like those five Ds. With unfettered support addicts can once again discover a beautifull life, well worth embracing.

Dr. Dan L. Edmunds, EdD, CAADC, is an Internationally Certified Advanced Drug and Alcohol Counselor and a psychotherapist. He completed undergraduate studies at the University of Florida, received a MA from the University of Scranton, and earned a EdD in Pastoral Community Counseling via Argosy University of Sarasota. He holds diplomat status with the American Psychotherapy Association.

I began a journey of emotional growth, letting go of guilt and shame.

I sought to transform my experiences, even the negative ones, into something that would benefit other people and myself. As I emerged from the fog of bewilderment from the five Ds, I found clarity. I discovered that a shift in perspective could turn tragedy into triumph.

To understand my own addiction, I had to be willing to venture into that darkness and understand my painful experiences. Such a journey can be frightening and lead some addicts to return to the familiarity of addiction.

Those of us in the helping profession must martial our resources to help defeat the fear with compassion and patience, to keep addiction at bay.

I hope to tap into my better self.

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6/20/17 2:26 PM

A Deadly Disease J.T. CLAREMONT

I

am an alcoholic. It took more years than I can count and more sad encounters than I care to share for me to have the courage to actually say those words out loud.

There’s a hopelessness to being addicted.

However, that feeling of hopelessness is significantly stronger just before you are about to admit that you are addicted. Before admitting that I was an alcoholic, I lived in shame, fear and guilt. Despite all of that, I did not want to change.

and most alcoholics refer to alcoholism as a disease, but society in general appears to have a much harder time latching onto and accepting this fact.

No court order, no detox plan, no intervention, no amount of pleading or begging, nor even being on the verge of death on numerous occasions, could convince me that I couldn’t live life on my own terms. The only way I could begin the process of changing me was to admit and submit to the fact that I was powerless over my addiction.

Can we addicts just resolve our problems by will and by having better self-control?

So, I repeat, “I am an alcoholic.” Again and again. Every day.

I am quite attuned to people’s reactions to this truth. When I tell them I am an alcoholic, I often get reactions like, “No way, you’re so well put together,” “You’re so clean-cut,” or “You have a job and a beautiful family.”

I continuously have to remind people that many, if not most, alcoholics are just like me. We’re functional as we slowly die.

Interestingly, an even more curious reaction is the one I get when I describe my addiction to alcohol as a disease. I first learned to refer to alcoholism as a disease when I started attending Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) meetings. In AA, we refer to alcoholism as a “physical allergy to alcohol combined with a mental obsession to keep drinking.” AA 58

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So, is my addiction a disease, or isn’t it?

In casual conversation, many people confess that they think their drinking habits are just a matter of their will, which implies to me that my drinking habit should be a matter of my will.

God, I wish that were so. Had this been the case, my life would have been so much easier, and I would have spared my loved ones so much pain and suffering.

Unfortunately, the first lesson anyone learns in a recovery program is that they are powerless over their addiction. As an addict, you’re battling an opponent that can’t be beat. In fact, that admission of powerlessness is the foundation of all recovery.

The one thing I know about diseases like diabetes and cancer is that they can’t be willed away. To me, powerlessness and helplessness are exactly the feelings I would have if I discovered I had a chronic or fatal disease.

Just as a person wouldn’t choose to have a disease like cancer or diabetes, I would never choose to have a disease like alcoholism.

In ascribing to the disease model of addiction, I believe part of the problem for many addicts is that we ourselves are averse to it.

Disease implies a sense of permanence, a defect we cannot control and will carry with us for the rest of our lives.

One of the biggest challenges is that addiction cannot be diagnosed in the same manner in which other diseases are diagnosed.

Not only can we not diagnose addiction with a physical test, but there is also no way it can be quantified. We can determine diabetes with a fasting blood sugar test and discover hypertension with a blood pressure monitor, but there is no similar mechanism to determine whether or not you are an addict. A diagnosis of addiction is made as a result of identifying specific behaviors and patterns – methods that most of society views as too subjective for addiction to be considered a “real” disease.

Further complicating the issue is that addiction is often treated with short-term sessions rather than a lifelong commitment.

We often talk about someone “going to rehab for a bit.” Even addiction professionals use terms like “graduate” or “completing a program” when an addict is deemed worthy of reintegrating into society. These descriptions lead to viewpoints that accentuate the belief that addiction is a matter of will, and worse yet, that addiction is temporary.

We enable society when we do not encourage people to view addiction for what it is: a deadly disease.

I can tell you from firsthand experience that addiction is very much akin to other chronic diseases. Just like the color of my skin, my addiction is something I live with every day.

It’s something that consciously and subconsciously drives every part of my being. This was the case before I discovered I was an addict, and is certainly the case now that I am in recovery.

In our society, both nonaddicts and many addicts treat addiction as a matter of will, choice and perseverance. This viewpoint leads to the treatment of addiction within the prison system and with societal randomness rather than in a structured medical environment that can actually help the addict attain long-term recovery. However, we enable society when we addicts do not encourage people to view addiction for what it is: a deadly disease.

J.T. Claremont is a freelance writer and programmer. His addictions began with Adderall, particularly during lengthy tech company-sponsored hackathons, and evolved to alcohol as he succumbed to the stress of the cutting-edge IT world.

He writes about addiction to help “pay forward” all the assistance he’s received in recovery.

InRecovery.com

6/20/17 2:27 PM

Desert Star Addiction Recovery Center Awaken to Healing in the Desert

Mission Statement

Intensive Outpatient Programs for Adults

To provide the highest quality, affordable outpatient addiction treatment for our community, and for individuals who wish to recover and heal from their addictions in a desert seeing.

Oasis Program:

Drug, Alcohol and Co-Occurring Mental Health Issues

Grace Program:

Men’s Program for Recovery from Unhealthy Sexual and Relationship Paaerns

Mesquite Program:

Eating Disorders Program for Binge Eating, Anorexia and Bulimia

Mariposa Program:

Women’s Program for Exploring Healing Intimacy and Relationship Issues

Sober Living Recovery:

Men’s and Women’s Houses Opening Spring of 2017

Desert Star, established in 2009, is licensed in the state of Arizona, and a preferred provider with most major insurance companies.

7493 N Oracle Rd. Ste 203, Tucson, AZ 85704 (520) 638-6000 www.DesertStarArc.com InRecovery.com

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RECOVERY REPORT

Job Done!

In order to keep what you’ve got, you’ve got to give it away.

MARK LANGFORD

M

y name is Mark. I live on the Isle of Wight in England, and am an addict in recovery for four years now. My upbringing was fairly normal, apart from being told at an early age that it was okay to drink alcohol, as long as I didn’t drink it alone. My relationship with alcohol began there. It soon morphed into smoking dope and dabbling in many other drugs. Before I knew it, I was drinking and using drugs daily.

I was a mess for 25 years, hooked on booze and other drugs, before I began my recovery journey. I spent many weeks, months and years in prison. Several times, going to prison saved my life. On a number of occasions, things were so bad that I tried to end my life. Thankfully, it was not my time to leave this planet.

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madness and anger, and I was a raging addict. I lost friends to drug overdoses and alcohol-related deaths, yet still my addiction went on. Addiction had control of me.

On more than one occasion, I found myself in the hospital. At one point, I was told if I continued to carry on the way I was going, I would be dead in six months or less. Guess what? I phoned a friend and asked him to bring alcohol to the hospital, which he did.

When I left the hospital, I had no hope at all; well, actually, just one. I was hopeful that I would last longer than six months so I could drink some more; I did. I surpassed six months, so I continued to drink. Soon, I was back in the hospital with tubes coming out of me and in such extreme pain that I felt like I was in hell.

By this time, I had stopped taking drugs; it was just the booze. After all, it was legal and wouldn’t kill me, right? My life went on like this for another 18 months, until I overdosed. Luckily, I was found and put in a psychiatric hospital for my own safety.

During my time there, I began learning about and working on myself. Upon my release, however, my addiction kicked in and said, “Hey, Mark, you’re cured! Have a drink. You’ll be fine.” Off I went again.

It wasn’t long before I was in a big, dark, lonely hole, waiting for death.

Life in active addiction is the worst nightmare. On the morning of May 1, 2013, I was just about to drink a can of beer when a friend’s son said to me, “If you drink that, you’ll never stop, and you’ll end up dead.” To this day, I’m not sure what happened. Something finally clicked in my head. I asked my friends if they wanted my InRecovery.com

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beers. Of course, they said yes. I picked up a phone and called for help.

When I was discharged from the hospital the last time, it was suggested that I stay at a dry house called Butler Gardens, here on the Isle of Wight. The support worker on the end of the phone told me there was a temporary bed available, so off I went.

From that day forward, with the help of the staff at Butler Gardens, I began working on myself and building my recovery.

I soon became an official resident at Butler Gardens (real world ‘trust’) and began attending meetings: AA, acceptance commitment therapy and relapse prevention. I wanted to do it all; I wanted to stay clean and sober.

I also wanted to give other people hope so they, too, could change their lives. The Isle of Wight is a small place with a big addiction problem, and I am a strong believer that in order to keep what you’ve got, you’ve got to give it away.

Currently, I run a weekend support group that I co-founded called Clean Breaks.

Life does have ups and downs, and that’s okay with me; one day at a time is just fine.

I have also facilitated acceptance commitment therapy groups for recovering addicts. I have passed many qualifications, from the Sports Leadership Award to level two teacher training. Connecting with nature has helped me get stronger. I have helped a nature therapy group run the kindness programs in schools and have been a part of delivering the Wolf Medicine Course, the first of its kind in England for people in recovery. This guided and creative work includes interacting with a pack of wolves (no physical contact), working with horses, using ancient knowledge, creative art and being outside in nature. It helps addicts find their own power by connecting with their inner self.

My next step is to find employment as a support worker so that I can help other addicts realize they are not alone and help them to grow. I believe that everyone can change with the right support.

Forgiveness is a big part of my recovery, as is learning that it is okay not to attempt to control every situation. I have also learned that I don’t have to act on my every thought. Life in recovery is a life full of hope, dreams, love and fun; a life filled with new people and new skills. Since I have been in recovery, most of my family members have come back into my life.

Life does have ups and downs, and that’s okay with me; one day at a time is just fine.

If my story can touch even one person and help to save their life, then, as we say in England, “Job done.”

Mark Langford is from the Isle of Wight, England, and was an active addict most of his life. He’s been in recovery four years, and volunteers to help others come to terms with their addictions. He helps them grow while always growing himself, and believes in giving people real, not false, hope.

ADDICTION COMPULSION GILBERT J. FIORENTINO, JD

For a very long time, much of the medical community has lumped addictions and compulsions together, as professionals tried to get their hands around how to best treat these confounding issues. Doctors and therapists oftentimes tried using similar techniques, under the assumption that these two were separate displays of the very same brain disease. However, continued research indicates there are very clear distinctions between them. These distinctions can make a big difference in your personal diagnosis and the kind of treatment that may help in achieving recovery.

Part of the problem is that the two terms are frequently used interchangeably. How often have you heard someone addicted to gambling called a compulsive gambler? In addition, the range of compulsion can add to the confusion. For example, most of us associate Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) with germaphobes and people who need order to the extreme, like the lead character from the TV show “Monk”. AdInRecovery.com

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diction involves a flash of pleasure with a hint of danger. It’s fun to gamble, drink and even overeat, but it also puts you at risk.

You ring up unsafe amounts of debt, make poor decisions and ruin your health, among other things. Addiction brings pleasure in the moment but leaves you holding the bag of negative consequences. You also build up a tolerance causing you to need MORE just to get to the same level of excitement.

Compulsion on the other hand, pushes you to avoid unpleasant outcomes. Someone who insists things must be done in a certain way is likely to have been raised in a hurricane of inconsistency and disorganization. Order was developed as a defense mechanism. Interestingly enough, a hoarder could develop her characteristics for that very same reason (among many others), but because of some type of ‘loss’ during that disorganization they fear parting with objects. Hoarding is what gives her a sense of security. Repetitive behaviors also relieve anxiety. A message loop replays in the

person’s brain, over and over again, about re-checking something. The action itself relieves the stress of that loop. Compulsion primarily stems from seeking relief, not pleasure. This distinction between compulsion and addiction becomes a bit murky on this final point though, because certain addictive behaviors are done to relieve anxiety (but are still not compulsions), like drinking or doing drugs at the end of a bad day.

However, the addict will also drink for numerous other pleasure seeking reasons, so it’s important not to confuse that point in reflecting on your own personal behavior.

Adding further to the discussion, people can, of course, have both compulsions and addictions at the same time.

Now what? Recognition of the issue is the first key step, but it’s only one step. If you’ve come to the conclusion that you’re in the grips of addiction or compulsion, it’s time to do something about it. The type of treatment you require depends on the severity of your disease. As with all diseases, the earlier you take note of it, the easier it is to treat.

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Keynote Speaker Steve Ford is the son of President Gerald R. Ford and Betty Ford whose life journey negotiated the bumpy road from the White House to a successful acting career. As a motivational speaker, his story both entertains and inspires audiences as he recounts his family’s battles with alcoholism, including his own recovery.

Hosted by

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RECOVERY

NEWSWIRE The Marijuana Debate Where are We Going?

Marijuana: Is Technology Part of the Problem?

Technology is usually associated with positive developments, changing the world. I love my iPhone 7+. However, just as with any other tool, it can be used for purposes both good and bad. The ever-advancing IT trend in the growth of marijuana is unfortunately leading to greater proliferation and contributing to its widespread use throughout the US.

Pot DUI?

Driving Under the Influence (DUI, and it’s close relation Driving While Impaired, DWI) checkpoints have been a main stay of police enforcement for the last couple of decades and is singularly responsible for a reduction in traffic accidents and deaths according to the US Surgeon General. It resulted in 1.3 million arrests last year. Up until recently, all of the focus has been related to alcohol since that’s easy to check. There’s been no reasonably priced, reliable way to test for DUI and DWI with respect to marijuana. However, that now all appears about to change.

The San Diego Police Department (SDPD) rolled out a monitor called the Drager 5000 earlier this year, which checks saliva and allows for quick roadside testing.

The Los Angeles PD has been using it for years and Denver, Colorado also recently rolled out a pilot program. It checks for marijuana and prescription drugs because they are equally as dangerous as alcohol for people who get behind the wheel while the drugs are in their system. The test is used in conjunction with the officers’ other normal techniques, such as onsite evaluation and even blood tests, when warranted. The SDPD claims the Drager 5000 tests only for what’s actively present in the body at the time, and does not present false positives from prior use.

For now, the tests are voluntary, allowing drivers the opportunity to prove their sobriety. Moreover, even if the test proves positive, there’s currently no ‘legal limit’ set for drugs as to what constitutes impairment; it’s a subjective decision made by the officer on-scene. The final impediment is cost. At $6,000 per machine, it will probably be a budget-buster for most PDs to use force-wide. However, it’s anticipated that costs will come down as more PDs around the country jump on board.

There’s been no reasonably priced, reliable way to test for DUI and DWI with respect to marijuana.

However, that now all appears about to change.

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Greeley, Colorado is home to Leaf, the manufacturer of $3,000, do-it-yourself, wi-fi enabled marijuana growth machines that owners can use to monitor and tend their plants remotely. They’ve sold over 1,000. Another company has developed a rapid-fire cartridge changing device making various types of THC infused oils available for vaping with the ease of the push of a button.

30 million recreational users spent an average of $1,500 each last year. The industry is expected to grow to over $8 billion by the end of this year and $16 billion by 2020. Marijuana use grew from 6.34% of the US population in 2004 to 7.73% in 2014. Those numbers are only going to continue to grow, as does the drug’s potency.

What’s lost in all this, is the higher rates of lung cancer, asthma, bronchitis and the under-reported impact on memory, not to mention the higher rate of accidents and emergency room visits as a result of impairment.

It’s also leading to increased underage use just as we’re making progress on that front against alcohol (down from 28.72% in 2004 to 23.28% in 2014, according to the National Survey on Drug Use). The evidence is undeniable that underage use has severe long-term consequences.

So, as we go about our days and mindlessly make use of the ever-present technology all around us, perhaps sometimes we need to take a step back and remind ourselves, “just because we can do something, it doesn’t mean that we should”.

The Wave of Fake Weed

Take a bit of tobacco, or even incense, spray it with a liberal mix of chemicals and sell it in shiny packages on the street, or even in bodegas, head shops and gas stations. It’s that easy. Fake Weed. It promises similar effects as the real thing but many find it attractive because it can be technically legal and won’t show up in the results of tests for marijuana. Moreover, each producer uses a different mix and keeps changing the mix to stay onestep ahead of the law, which makes one formulation illegal while another similar one (still not illegal) pops up in its place. It’s like a crazy game of Whack-a-Mole. This makes the drug popular among teenagers who get easy access, and amongst inmates and people in jobs where a random pee test can permanently alter their lives.

A 2015 Youth Risk Behavior Survey found that almost 10% of high school students had tried fake weed at some point in their young lives.

It’s sold on the street under the names K2 and Spice, among many others (up to 22 different types were recently catalogued by the State of Florida), and can produce dangerous side-effects because ‘street chemists’ don’t exactly adhere to strict scientific standards. It can lead to chest pain, hallucinations, aggression, anxiety, seizures, permanent cardio-vascular damage, liver damage, stroke, aggression, anxiety attacks, brain damage and even immediate death from overdose, as products now even use such deadly drugs as fentanyl and carfentanil in their “mix”. People are taking chances with their lives, with each and every puff.

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A Fork in the Road LISA COHEN

I

was raised in Newport Beach, California. Even though my parents divorced when I was ten years old, I had a relatively normal childhood. When I was eleven, my mother remarried; and after that, I always felt unsure of where I belonged.

I was twelve when I first got high, smoking a marijuana joint with friends. My addiction really escalated while I was in college after I was introduced to Oxycontin and Xanax. Eventually, I became so out of control that my parents sent me to Israel for a rapid detox procedure that would mitigate my withdrawal symptoms.

My mental health was rapidly deteriorating. Despite two suicide attempts, I returned to college. I maintained a whopping eleven days of sobriety before relapsing. The year 2012 was the first time I checked into rehab, but it was not the last.

Over the next two years, I was in and out of treatment five times.

A truth I had yet to discover was holding me back from recovery.

When I began receiving treatment for my addiction, the doctor told me I would not be able to drink alcohol. I wasn’t expecting that. I didn’t have an issue with alcohol; I wasn’t an “alcoholic.” Why would I need to quit alcohol? Just get me off of these pills and I’ll be fine. Naturally, I rebelled against the doctor’s orders.

I would go into treatment and detox from the opiates, and maintain sobriety for the remainder of my stay. Once out of treatment, I would celebrate my sobriety by getting wasted on alcohol. Within a week of consuming alcohol, I would be sticking a needle in my arm.

It was a vicious cycle: detox from heroin, go into rehab, check out of rehab, drink, use heroin and go back to rehab. I couldn’t understand why treatment wasn’t working for me. Why was this happening to me again and again?

My need for heroin was growing ever stronger. My parents finally cut me off

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because they couldn’t bear to watch me kill myself. I started living on the streets.

I owed money to dangerous drug dealers who were beginning to follow me, so I stole money to pay them back. I did whatever it took to feed my addiction; nothing else mattered, not even my own life.

True recovery takes daily hard work – work that will never be finished. Stick with a program that works for you and develop a longterm support system.

My fight or flight reaction kicked in when I realized I was out of options. To survive, I was forced to decide between selling my own body or dying. It was at this fork in the road that I truly hit rock bottom and knew I needed help.

I was estranged from my family, but managed to find a friend who referred me to a treatment center. I was near death by the time I entered rehab. I spent two days in the hospital.

This time, my mindset had completely changed. I knew in my heart that this was my last chance, and I threw myself into the program. Instead of fighting the staff members and anyone who was willing to help me, I began to take direction from them. I’ve been in recovery ever since.

In the past, my addiction had run the show. I refused to admit I was an addict and to accept that in order to stay away from my “drug of choice,” I had to quit everything, including alcohol. Time and time again, my need for heroin paved the way to alcohol consumption, my fix to ease the pain. The alcohol then paved the road back to heroin. I was finally ready to accept that sad truth.

Through my recovery, I reconnected with my family, especially my mom. Because my mom and I saw the suffering of people from the disease of addiction and the importance of treatment centers in the initial stages of recovery, we decided to provide others with the same kind of help I had received.

We started a treatment center, and together we work in recovery every day. We witness the beauty of people breaking free of addiction’s grip. We are part of saving the lives of sons, daughters, fathers, mothers, husbands and wives. It has been a gift that has helped me hold steady to my own recovery, and that has brought my mother and me closer than ever before.

If you’re looking for help, do yourself a favor and get out of your own way. Let the people in your program guide you and be willing to accept that guidance. Your mind may play tricks on you in order to access what it thinks it “needs.” Stick with a program that works for you and develop a long-term support system that will shed a light on your mind’s own dangerous tricks.

True recovery takes daily hard work – work that will never be finished. In time, this work becomes gratifying and delivers a high unobtainable through drugs or alcohol. Find something you believe in, and devote yourself to it each and every day.

I did and was rewarded with a life full of hope and joy.

Lisa Cohen is the Director of Admissions at Path to Serenity. She attended the University of Arizona, where she majored in media arts. Cohen is currently working on a bachelor’s degree. She is also enrolled in CCAPP CAAR Institute to be certified as a drug and alcohol counselor. https://www.facebook.com/path2serenity

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FINDING YOUR INNER BUDDHA TO HELP MAINTAIN SOBRIETY

HUMILITY

Be humble. Humility is the ultimate act of surrendering the self. As addicts, we are driven by ego and self-interest. We don’t sufficiently consider the consequences of our actions.

It’s all about me, Me and ME. In being humble, we quiet our mind and allow serenity to ease out addictive thoughts.

Be like a piece of

A key principle of 12-step programs is the concept of surrendering your personal will, because we, as individuals, lack the power to heal ourselves without outside help and support. In that vein, we can learn a lot from the precepts of a wide range of philosophies and beliefs we find all around us.

On that journey, I’ve come across several tenets of Buddhism, which I think would be well considered for helping someone to maintain her recovery.

FIND LIKE-MINDED FRIENDS For most of us, it’s basically the opposite of what activated our addictive behaviors to begin with. We flocked like sheep to others similarly addicted who became our friends in destructive co-dependent behavior. It gave us comfort and helped us feel that acting out on our addiction was normal. However, the true ‘normal’ involves healthy behavior and surrounding ourselves with support to maintain our sobriety.

WOOD

Be like a piece of wood. For many of us addicts, our addictions are driven by stress, peer pressure and other outside forces. The exercise of thinking of ourselves as an unfeeling piece of wood helps us to avoid those harmful distractions and stay focused on our recovery.

SPEAK CLEARLY

FIRST THINGS FIRST

Put first things first. We can never forget to put our recovery first. While we have certain responsibilities that need to be taken care of, such as a job, raising kids, paying bills, and life in general, we can’t let them overwhelm us at the expense of our recovery. Just like a parent on an airplane is instructed to place the oxygen mask on herself prior to placing it on the child. You are no good to anyone unless you are in a good place to begin with.

USE A LIFELINE...

PhONE A FRIEND

Dishonesty is our Achilles heel. We used it to hide our addiction and justify our incorrigible behavior. In speaking clearly and accepting responsibility for our actions and mistakes, we grow as people and make better decisions.

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Having a friend or sponsor to call in a moment of weakness, and an advance plan on how to deal with triggers, can make all the difference.

BEGIN WITH THE END IN MIND

As addicts in recovery, we take life day-by-day, “I won’t drink or use today”. What happens if we do? Well, that’s exactly what we need to remind ourselves daily as well - because it’s not pretty. By keeping the end in mind, it helps keep us on track.

Recovery is a lifelong process, not an event. It requires an ever evolving mindset to stave off boredom, keep things interesting and stay on track.

I used “Finding Your Inner Buddha” as a metaphor to grab your attention but, in reality, you can find insight in everything you read and see.

Inspiration can come from the most unlikely of places. The trick is being mindful. Be aware of your surroundings and take pleasure in the simple things.

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S BER SIMPLE LIVING STRATEGIES

Proponents of acupuncture claim that the practice can: Help reduce cravings, Increase patient retention in rehab, Ease unpleasant withdrawal symptoms, Ease physical pain, Help the person regulate emotions, Decrease anxiety and stress, Help regulate sleep.

Need to relax? Try Acupuncture.

Acupuncture is becoming a complementary treatment in addiction recovery programs.

Auricular or ear acupuncture is a popular form of this treatment that involves shallow insertion of a thin needle at various points on the skin of the external ear to help ease withdrawal symptoms and reduce cravings.

AND IT’S A HELPFUL AID IN TREATING ADDICTION.

Acupuncture has been part of traditional Chinese medicine for thousands of years, treating everything from excessive pain to mental health issues. It started gaining attention in the ‘West’ during the 1970s and as of late is becoming an accepted mainstream part of medical and addiction treatment.

A 2012 article in the Natural Medicine Journal noted significant relief for people suffering with respiratory issues. Acupuncture relieves stress and congestion in the lungs. A case series published by the Evidence-Based Complementary and Alternative Medicine Journal in 2008 reported significant improvement for people with spinal cord injuries and back pain.

The Arthritis and Rheumatology review followed 8 different studies demonstrating marked improvement in patients’ skeletal systems as a result of acupuncture. In separate research, the University of Arizona discovered similar improvement for patients struggling with depression. Acupuncture releases endorphins and other hormones to help modify brain function.

Addiction and relapse can be triggered by many things, including stress, pain and negative emotions. Acupuncture can be an effective resource at relieving these triggers that cause people to use drugs or drink alcohol. Additional studies have also indicated evidence that acupuncture actually reduces cravings for drugs and alcohol, which in of itself is a key driver for relapse.

Each person’s recovery is unique. What works for someone may not work for others. That’s why it’s so critical to be open-minded about all potential proven techniques.

Acupuncture has been a mainstay of ‘Eastern’ medicine for millennia, and for good reason. Maybe it’s time you gave it a try.

Acupuncture’s Effects on Drug Use

ALONG WITH HOLISTIC RECOVERY METHODS...

Holistic recovery centers are designed to treat the whole person by improving physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health. The treatments provided at these rehab centers are considered alternatives to mainstream or traditional treatments, such as counseling, therapy, and medication.

Holistic recovery centers, as well as other rehabs, may incorporate acupuncture into their treatment programs. This alternative treatment can be a part of an individualized treatment plan that addresses a person’s specific needs for recovery and mental health.

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It’s not fully understood how acupuncture works. But it is believed to affect the dopaminergic system in the brain.

Drugs positively reinforce continued use by inducing feelings of pleasure and euphoria and negatively reinforce it by suppressing withdrawal symptoms, such as dysphoria.

Acupuncture is believed to decrease the positive and negative reinforcements of addiction and therefore reduce drug use.

Acupuncture treatments are thought to reduce the positive reinforcement properties of drugs by decreasing the amount of dopamine released when the drug is used. Without the surge of dopamine, the person’s “high” or “buzz” is diminished, and he or she is less likely to use the drug in the future.

Conversely, it is believed that acupuncture treatments decrease the withdrawal properties of drugs, such as dysphoria and distress, that serve to negatively reinforce continued drug use (since a user might otherwise quell withdrawal with more of the abused drug), by inhibiting gamma-aminobutyric acid (GABA) neurons and increasing the release of dopamine. This flood of dopamine into the nucleus accumbens in the brain can improve mood and alleviate withdrawal symptoms.

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