In Recovery Fall 2016

Danny Murphy StopB4UStart

Jodi Barber Overtaken

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Presents it’s third annual Magazine

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November 18th, 2016 at the Hilton Squaw Peak Resort in Scottsdale, Arizona for more information or tickets, call 928.533.7032 A portion of the profit will go to a non-profit recovery organization TBA

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From the Publisher Kim Welsh

Magazine P.O. Box 11176, Prescott, AZ 86304 inrecoverymagazine.com CEO/Publisher Kim Welsh Editor in Chief Janet A. Hopkins Operations Manager Valerie Lambert Senior Copyeditor Barbara Schuderer Copyeditors Marieke Slovin Subscriptions John Schuderer Advertising Sales Jacque Miller Layout Design Woosah Designs Ad Design Kim Welsh Cover Photo Stefanie Welsh Photography Kay’s Kitchen Kay Luckett CrossTalk Stephanie Moles Book Review Lena H. Author’s Cafe Catherine Townsend-Lyon Meditation Michael Lyding BodyTalk Victoria Abel Chaos and Clutter Free Danielle Wurth Recovery Today Steve K.

In Recovery Magazine is published quarterly (4 times a year) by In Recovery Magazine, Inc., PO Box 11176, Prescott, Arizona 86304. Subscription rates (US dollars): 1 year $17.95, 2 years $25.95 in the United States and Possessions; 1 year $37.95, 2 years $65.95 in Canada and Mexico; all other countries $41.95 for 1 year, $73.95 for 2 years. Single copies (prepaid only): $8.99 in US, $11.99 in Canada and Mexico and $12.99 in all other countries. All rates include shipping and handling. Email your request to valerie@inrecoverymagazine.com.

The magazine is published by founder, Kim Welsh, printed in the US by American Web and distributed by Disticor Magazine Distribution Services. ©2016 In Recovery Magazine, Inc. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including by photocopy, recording, or information storage and retrieval without permission in writing from the publisher. For uses beyond those listed above, please direct your written request to Permission Dept., email: editor@inrecoverymagazine.com.

In Recovery Magazine does not verify any claims or other information appearing in any of the advertisements contained in the publication and cannot take responsibility for any losses or other damages incurred by readers in reliance of such content. Publication of any advertisement is not to be construed as an endorsement of the product or service offered.

In Recovery Magazine (IRM) reserves the right to editorial control of all articles, stories and Letters to the Editor. IRM assumes no responsibility for errors within its publication. The opinions expressed are those of the authors and do not necessarily represent the policies of IRM and should not be construed as endorsements. Furthermore, IRM will not be responsible for any claims, losses or damages (whether direct or indirect) arising out of or relating to the use of or reliance on the contents of this magazine.

Fall 2016

I

publisher@inrecoverymagazine.com

t’s not uncommon to hear addicts and alcoholics complaining about change; I, for one, love it. I love the thrill of notknowing, the challenge of upheaval, the excitement of something new just around the corner. Things here at In Recovery Magazine are constantly changing; forward movement and steady growth are the keys to a strong business. I am excited to share some of our recent changes with you soon.

Many thanks to Jodi Barber, Danny Murphy and the rest of the writers who contributed their stories to this issue. Here at In Recovery Magazine, we recognize and appreciate your efforts. Many people want to ignore the issues around opioid addiction because it doesn’t touch them personally; they hope it will just go away. The fact is it does affect all of us in one way or another. If we don’t stand together to make a change, untold numbers of young people will continue to become addicted to prescription drugs. As a result of this addiction, many thousands will die of unintentional overdoses. Join with people around the country to make proactive changes that will make a difference.

We are gearing up for our Third Annual Gratitude Gala. We’ll be hosting it at the beautiful Pointe Hilton Squaw Peak Resort Hotel in Phoenix, Arizona. Please join us for another beautiful night of fun and laughter. We’ve sold out the past two years, and we are confident that there will be a full house of 400 guests this year. Award-winning comedian and NBC’s Last Comic Standing winner, Alonzo Bodden, will entertain us with “cynically goodnatured” recovery comedy, and our celebrity look-a-like emcee, Ellen, will bring an added zany touch to the event. For more information, go to page 2.

As always, we strive to give voice to people around the world whose lives have been enriched by recovery. We’d love to hear your comments and suggestions. Check out our contest on page 8, and pass it along!

Correction: Deanna Lea Bloxom Brown’s death date was incorrectly noted as August 28, 2016. Deanna died on April 28, 2016. Our apologies for the error.

Kim Welsh

From the Editor Janet A. Hopkins

T

editor@inrecoverymagazine.com

wo years ago, the National Institute on Drug Abuse declared a heroin epidemic in southern Florida. According to the American Society of Addiction Medicine, “drug overdose is the leading cause of accidental death in the US, with 47,055 lethal drug overdoses in 2014. Opioid addiction is driving this epidemic, with 18,893 overdose deaths related to prescription pain relievers, and 10,574 overdose deaths related to heroin.” The same 2014 study reported that 75 percent of those addicted to heroin said they came to it via prescription opioids. The numbers are growing.

In her article, “Stop the Pill-Pushing!,” Janet Colbert, a neonatal intensive care nurse living near Fort Lauderdale, Florida, explained, “In years past, we had [an addicted] baby once in a while. All of a sudden our unit [was] full of these babies. It was bad. You couldn’t feed them. They were in withdrawal.” Janet, Jodi Barber, Carin Miller, Danny Murphy and Michael DeLeon are foot soldiers in the grim war against addiction. In this issue, they share their very personal stories of loss and despair. They also express their determination to effect change as they battle the scourge that affects young adults, teens and their families.

On a brighter note, recovery is alive and well on college campuses around the country.

We have been hearing about collegiate recovery programs that are making a difference in students’ lives, from Liz Athens in Arizona, to Chris Burns in Central Florida, to Jimmy Hatzell at Penn State. I wish these programs had been around when I was in college – that’s when my addiction blossomed.

Our young people are living in a world fraught with difficulties; other contributors shared their expertise in helping young adults with eating disorders, sex addiction and substance abuse. Kudos to all the dedicated individuals who have committed their lives to helping America’s youth find healthy ways to live and thrive in recovery.

In Recovery Magazine

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Table of Contents

Cover Story

12 | Overtaken by Jodi Barber

I know what it's like to be happily married and to raise two healthy, fun-loving sons; I also know the feeling of helplessness because my child is on drugs.

16 | StopB4UStart by Lynn Sanchez

Help us empower and educate individuals to consider stopping before they ever start using drugs and alcohol.

Features 22 | The Ripple Effect by Michael DeLeon

28 | Changing Perceptions in Academia by Jimmy Hatzell

24 | The New Kid by Dana Bowman

Austin Citywide Meeting by Lisa Wainer If I had listened to my own voice that selfishly said, “No, I don’t want to do that,” I would have missed an amazing experience that changed my life forever.

As children, we skipped rocks across water and noticed the repercussions of the pebbles, the ripples that continued even after the stones fell beneath the water. Life is this way.

I like to think New Kid is off somewhere, still sober, watching a ball game with the clear light still shining in his golden eyes. I pray for him, just as much as I pray for myself.

Student recovery programs are changing social perceptions of recovery. These programs are the change recovering students need to succeed.

30 |

Theme: Teens and Addiction

38 | Sexual Addiction in the Internet Age by Melissa Thornburg

Just as sexual offenders often groom their victims, so too, the porn industry has groomed society. Pornography is changing our species.

40 | Family Support: Making a Difference for Teens with

50 |

My Name is . . . by Anna E. I'm seventeen. Today my name is Hope because although I am far from perfect, I am learning that I can change my life for the better.

52 |

Eating Disorders by Heather Goff

Being a teenager is supposed to be about sweet sixteen parties, algebra homework, first dates, soccer practice, going to the prom, and learning to drive. For some teenagers and their families, however, it is about the journey from an eating disorder to recovery.

Stop the Pill-Pushing! by Janet Colbert We need a national movement. Please get involved. There is too much suffering and too many deaths.

54 |

44 | America’s Quiet Pandemic by Patricia Rosen

Adolescent Recovery: Ingredients for Success by Craig LaSeur Getting clean and sober is seldom easy for anyone, but it can be even more difficult for a teenager.

48 | Teen Addiction by Leigh Kolodny-Kraft

Save our Children! by Carin Miller Our story began as so many others have; it was the beginning of a nightmare I wasn't expecting and for which I was not educated or prepared to handle.

Opiate and opioid addiction has become America’s quiet pandemic. We’re in the height of an epidemic that is costing Americans billions of dollars.

Addiction is a family disease. Teen treatment is about healing and learning new tools with which to face difficult life experiences.

62 | Sober Scholars: Arizona’s Response to Recovery on Campus

by Elizabeth Athens Picture yourself on a college campus where the expectation of partying is embedded in student culture, where students in recovery must choose between an education and their ongoing sobriety.

56 |

Theme: Recovery on Campus 64 |

My Life Looked Perfect by Chris Burns College, where independence and experimentation intersect, can be a nearly impossible environment in which to live a sober life.

Articles 70 | Surrender by Chris Freeman

78 | How to Choose a Rehab Program by Per Wickstrom

74 | The Assassin by Jana Greene

82 | How to Convince an Addict to Get Help by Stan Popovich

76 | Hard Was the Fall by Alex Outlaw

Recovering Artists 86 |

Booze, Busts and Bees by Kenneth W. Davis I decided to try one last geographic change to solve the problem, but I picked the worst place to deal with the situation: Key West, Florida.

Fall 2016

In Recovery Magazine

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Columns

10 | Meditation: Down on my Knees by Michael L. 32 | Everyday Miracle: The Truths I Learned by Brook Mckenzie

With a small duffel bag of clothes in tow, I embarked on a life-changing experience that was the launching pad for a new life in recovery. I haven’t been back to prison since.

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34 | The BookStand

Recovery is the subject of countless books. Here are some titles worth a look.

36 | Book Review: Grateful Not Smug by Lena H. 58 | The Authors’ Café: Rev. Dr. Kevin T. Coughlin and Steve Hauptman by Catherine Townsend-Lyon

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Interviews with recovery authors around the world.

60 |

BodyTalk: Priorities by Victoria Abel Recently, I made some major life decisions about priorities, ones that made me put my money where my mouth is.

66 |

Chaos and Clutter Free by Danielle Wurth Seven ways to be paper smart: organizing, filing and keeping track of it all.

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68 | Kay’s Kitchen: Happily Ever After by Kay Luckett 84 |

CrossTalk by Mollé CrossTalk is based on the premise that recovery life is polytely: frequently, complex problem-solving situations characterized by the presence of not one, but several endings.

93 | Recovery Today: Drug Talk

Our favorite tips and humor for people traipsing the Road of Happy Destiny.

(Cartoons by Ben Canha)

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Fall 2016

TREATMENT PROGRAMS

RESIDENTIAL TREATMENT Intensive Outpatient Program Outpatient Program Aftercare with Structured Residential Sober Living Transitional Sober Living

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Letters to the Editor

Contest

We want your opinion.

Monthly Magazine My only wish is that In Recovery Magazine was a monthly magazine. However, you sure do pack in a lot of great stuff in each quarterly magazine. Wonderful job! One of these days, I will send in an article for submission.

R. G. San Francisco, California We welcome your comments. You may email us at editor@inrecoverymagazine.com or tweet us at @InRecovery_Mag. You may also contact us at In Recovery Magazine, PO Box 11176, Prescott, Arizona 86304. Submissions may be edited.

We want to know what you think about our magazine. If we use your comment, we’ll send you a free one- year subscription.

Did one of our articles inspire you? Was there a story that made you laugh, cry or call a friend? Are you looking for more information about any of the topics we covered? Was there a story you passed along to a friend? Let us know.

We welcome general comments, too. Is there a topic you would like to see us address? Is there an inspirational person in recovery or a person who has made a difference in your own recovery whose story might benefit others?

Submit your comments online at http://www.inrecoverymagazine.com/contest or by email to editor@inrecoverymagazine.com.

We look forward to hearing from you.

For questions or comments about your subscription, please contact valerie@inrecoverymagazine.com.

Check out our digital app!

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Enjoy the stories you love in a convenient and readable way.

The app is available for download from the App Store.

Other mobile devices including Android, Kindle Fire, Windows 8, Facebook and Blackberry Playbook may download the In Recovery App at pocketmags.com.

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In Recovery Magazine

Fall 2016

ART of RECOVERY EXPO 2016 Free to the Public Saturday, September 17 Phoenix Convention Center Hall G

9:30 am - 4:00 pm Greg Williams

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2016 Premier Sponsor

A day for the “Whole Family” Prevention & addiction treatment resources, informative educational workshops and over 100 exhibitors!

With a focus on young adult & adolescent recovery.

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Meditation

DOWN ON MY KNEES

by Mike Lyding

"I got down on my knees and said, 'I need your help and I'll take it.'"

– Mike C.

W

hat a powerful moment it is when we realize, I can't do it on my own; but with help, I can. A person is unlikely to ever again experience the power of that moment with the same intensity. The reason has to do with human nature; the depths of the despair that led Mike C. to that prayer evoked the honesty of his promise to listen.

The task is not to recreate that powerful moment.

The task is to recognize when we have strayed too far from what we learned from it. For me, the insight of that experience comes from an understanding of my own powerlessness.

When I recognize that I am powerless, I have an opportunity to reach out for help. Unfortunately, in any given situation, it may be difficult for me to see that I am in over my head.

It helps to periodically look at myself from a different perspective. Am I in close contact with my sponsor, or do I think I can handle life's difficult situations on my own? Am I active in my prayers for assistance, or are my prayers rote recitations? Answering these questions keeps me aware of my own limitations.

I can then choose to face life’s curve balls alone or to reach out for help. It’s not necessary to experience those moments of intensity again; instead, I can make a conscious decision to reach out for the help I need to get me through difficult times. If I go it alone, I must accept responsibility for the consequences I may face for not reaching out when it’s clear I need assistance.

Rather than going it alone, I choose to use my sponsor.

Mike Lyding has been drawn to prayer and meditation since becoming sober in December 1993. At age 58, while meditating, he discovered he had a desire to write. So far, the result has been two daily meditation books written primarily for recovering communities: Grateful Not Smug (2006) and Gratitude a Verb (2009). mike.lyding@hotmail.com

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In Recovery Magazine

Fall 2016

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In Recovery Magazine

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Overtaken Overtaken

I

by Jodi Barber

know what it's like to be happily married and to raise two healthy, fun-loving sons; I also know the feeling of helplessness because my child is on drugs.

In the aftermath of Jarrod’s death, I could have kept silent…

Instead, I chose to tell the truth to hopefully save another family from going through the devastation we had experienced.

I

know what it's like to be happily married and to raise two healthy, fun-loving sons; to live in an upper-middle-class home; and to have dinner on the table every night.

I know what it’s like to go to my sons’ baseball games, enjoy family gatherings and trips, and celebrate birthdays and holidays together.

I also know what it’s like to feel helplessness because my child is on drugs. I know what it's like to call the police and to see my 17-year-old son placed in handcuffs and banging his head in the patrol car for an hour in front of our house, while his 13-year-old brother watches in tears from the upstairs window. Building a happy, healthy family was always my purpose in life. That purpose was shattered on January 8, 2010.

After the loss of my 19-year-old son to a prescription drug overdose, I asked my husband, "How did it get to this point? What the hell happened?" So many questions were swirling around in my head. I realized my son's death never should have happened; it could have been prevented.

In the aftermath of Jarrod’s death, I could have kept silent. I could have said he died of a heart problem or in his sleep. Instead, I chose to tell the truth to hopefully save another family from going through the devastation we had experienced. This became my true purpose and passion in life.

Not only did I lose my child in 2010; three of Jarrod's close friends also died of overdoses.

They were friendly, respectful, polite and loving kids. I soon began hearing of more young lives lost in the same way. In Orange County, California, 88 young lives were cut short by overdoses that year.

Doctors discovered Opana, an opioid agonist used to relieve the severe pain, had been in my son’s system the night he passed away. Jarrod's friends told me about a physician, Dr. Lisa Tseng, who was overprescribing opiates and other medications to their friends. Her business card was in Jarrod’s wallet.

I knew this information must be exposed to the public to stop this person from harming more lives. I called a newspaper and had an article published. I also began collecting empty pill bottles from other moms whose children were taking meds prescribed by Dr. Tseng and took them to the Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA). I discovered that people of all ages were driving up to 45 miles to wait in line for their fix.

Today, Dr. Lisa Tseng is in prison facing 30 years to life, on three counts of second degree murder and 20 counts for reckless prescribing. I hope her sentence puts every physician on notice and encourages them to think each time they prescribe a medication for a patient. Those recklessly prescribing addictive pills will eventually be convicted.

My mission began to unfold that first year after Jarrod’s death. First, I was asked to speak in a high school health class. I asked Cole, a young man who was clean from addiction, to come along. His story made a huge difference for those teens, and I realized we needed to speak out and share our stories to more students. Cole and I continue to work together, speaking at schools everywhere.

In 2011, I went to local businesses and put up posters emblazoned with the faces of 21 children who had overdosed and died. Each poster included my phone number and an invitation to call.

The calls poured in. One call was from a mother who said she would help me in any way. We decided that Red Ribbon Week, a substance abuse and violence prevention awareness campaign observed each October, simply wasn't enough. We were driven to produce a short documentary entitled Overtaken.

As a result, my mission quickly expanded nationwide. We mailed Overtaken to rehabs, sober living homes, courtrooms and schools.

My hope was that eventually Overtaken and its accompanying lesson plan would become part of the health curriculum in every school across the country.

In the film, high school athletes, cheerleaders, straight-A students, college students and my friend Cole, relate their heartbreaking

SURVIVORS

stories of addiction. Some continue to speak as mentors before thousands of students, proud to be giving back.

Our story has been featured in newspapers and magazines, on the news and radio, and on several California talk shows, including Dr. Drew and Dr. Oz. It has also appeared in books, such as Generation RX and The Addict Among Us. ABC aired two public service announcements which I produced, and we erected a billboard off the I-5 freeway in Orange County.

I spoke before the California Senate about the Controlled Substance Utilization Review and Evaluation System (CURES) funding bill and rallied with others on the Capitol steps. I later told my story to the California Medical Board to encourage the passing of the CURES bill.

In Washington DC, I joined thousands of

We must reach them before they start. Talk to your children at an early age and don’t stop talking. people holding signs and marching to the White House in memory of loved ones lost to addiction and organized another rally here in our hometown. I collected signatures for the California 911 Good Samaritan Law, which offers legal protection to people who give reasonable assistance to those who are, or who they believe to be, injured, ill, in peril or otherwise incapacitated. I also recently received a letter of recognition from President Obama.

Today, my phone rings 24/7.

Sadly, the epidemic has worsened. As I sat writing this article, I received a call about the death of another young person in our area. Last year, Orange County recorded 367 overdose deaths, more than half stemming from prescription drugs.

I hope to inspire you to take a stand and join me and thousands of others in the fight against the number one cause of accidental deaths in the United States. We must come together as a whole; it takes a village to bring about change. Together, we can make a difference.

Young people are dying every single day. Don't wait until it happens to one of your children. Addiction can happen at any age, in any home. Substance abuse and addiction affect people from all walks of life. This is why we must educate everyone we can.

Survivors Inform yourselves and attend events in your area to learn about this growing epidemic and the new synthetic drugs that are easily available to our children. We must reach them before they start.

Talk to your children at an early age and don't stop talking. Drug test your kids and get involved. If I knew then what I know now, maybe my son would still be alive.

every day that life can still be fun. He reminds me we are only here for a short time and need to make the most of this precious life. He continues to experience what he calls "waves of emotions," but that is normal and healthy.

Jarrod appears to us in different ways, bringing us peace and putting smiles on our faces. We know that even though he is with God, he is still with us spiritually.

Today, both my missions are clear. I balance my efforts to save lives with staying happy and grateful that I have my supportive husband of 30 years by my side and our delightful son, Blake, who attends college and works as a tennis camp instructor. Blake teaches me

The simple act of someone with a kind heart reaching out to me changed my life in the blink of an eye.

I felt hopeless, and so did my family. My parents were running on empty. When I met I met Jodi Barber in 2012, I had been in and out of treatment several times. She had come to the facility I was in to talk about her movie, Overtaken.

I was in a panic. Earlier that day, I had discovered my insurance was dropping me after only nine days of treatment. I spoke with Jodi about it and she calmly

assured me not to worry. She called the next day to say she had found a program for me. She said she would take me whenever I was ready, so off I went.

After treatment, I returned home to Arizona – 18 years old, newly sober, but still not emotionally ready to quit.

Seven months of using later, I hit rock bottom. I called Jodi to tell her I had messed up – again. She told me I would be okay and that she would always be there for me. I got on a plane and headed to detox in California.

Jodi Barber has been married 30 years and has two beautiful sons: Jarrod in heaven, who would be 26, and 22-year-old Blake. Barber is an advocate against the overprescribing of prescription drugs. You may link to important resources on her website. Overtakenlives.org

As I walked into detox, Jodi called me with the news that I could receive treatment at one of the best rehabs in California, all expenses paid. I stayed four months. My family could finally breathe, and so could I. Jodi continues to be a support for me today, and is always in my heart. I am forever grateful to her for the beautiful life I get to live by the grace of God. Thanks to her dedication, compassion and strength, I was given a second chance at life.

STOP B4U START

by Lynn Sanchez

Imagine you invited an alcoholic with 20 years of sobriety into a classroom of high school students.

Is connection possible?

When that alcoholic shares his or her experience, strength and hope with those students, will the information be beneficial?

I am a high school English teacher and department chair.

In March of 2015, I invited Danny Murphy, my fiancé, to share his recovery story with my students. For Danny, the result was a call from God to find a way to empower kids to stop before they start using drugs and alcohol and possibly cross the line into addiction. Out of this calling came the nonprofit corporation, StopB4UStart.

I’m sure Danny never imagined that his curiosity with a bottle of Vitamin C at age five would lead to an overdose, and later to drug and alcohol addiction. But it did.

His first introduction to alcohol was with a group of high school friends. His home life was in shambles after his dad’s exit from the family, and he was filled with resentment and

anger. He wanted to fit in, and alcohol helped him gain the acceptance and relief he desperately wanted. He felt included.

Danny excelled in sports; he skated, surfed and played tennis.

When he became the captain of the San Clemente, California, high school surf team, he found the status he craved. Parties and popularity became his only priorities.

contact with his child when a relationship broke up. Finally unable to support himself, he walked away from a life full of potential and stepped into a fulltime life of addiction.

At age 33, Danny fortunately heard a message that struck home. On June 18, 1996, while in a Twelve Step meeting, he heard a speaker share that Jesus died at age 33. After the meeting, someone told him to get on his knees and ask God for help; …Danny and I learned that each year more teens later that night, he did just that. As he prayed, his former life fell away were dying from drug overdoses than people and he was spiritually reborn; he was were dying from motor vehicle accidents. We delivered from his addiction. The both felt we needed to take some action. connection he had sought his entire life had finally been found.

Later on in college, one of his surf idols offered him cocaine.

Shortly thereafter, his boss and role model also offered him cocaine. During his first use, he remembers the drug “taking him.” Soon he was off and running in a blur of addiction.

Cocaine eventually caused Danny to lose everything: surfing sponsorships, a modeling career, multiple jobs and his chance at a college education. The wreckage from his addiction was devastating; he had multiple DUIs, lost his car and lost

Danny began doing whatever it took to stay clean and sober. He attended Twelve Step meetings and found a sponsor who guided him through the Steps and encouraged him to participate in service work. He discovered he not only a drinking problem; he had a living problem. His life depended on a spiritual relationship with a Higher Power. He learned that connection was his antidote to addiction. The idea of “we” not “me” was the key to his recovery. Eighteen years later, Danny proposed to me, found his way back to a church and was baptized again.

After speaking to that high school class in 2015, Danny and I learned that each year more teens were dying from drug overdoses than people were dying from motor vehicle accidents. We both felt we needed to take some action. We didn’t want teens to start the downward slide as Danny had.

Lynn Sanchez lives in San Clemente, California, and is an English teacher and the English Department Chair for Capistrano Valley High School. She is on the board of directors for StopB4UStart. She has four grown children and loves reading and traveling to learn about new cultures and people. www.stopb4ustart.org

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In Recovery Magazine

Fall 2016

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The

Ripple Effect

by Michael DeLeon

“Just as ripples spread out when a single pebble is dropped into water, the actions of individuals can have far-reaching effects.” – Dalai Lama As children, we skipped rocks across water and noticed the repercussions of the pebbles, the ripples that continued even after the stones fell beneath the water. Much of life is this way, especially with drug and alcohol addiction. The disease overtakes the mind and affects our choices. I know this all too well.

On Mother’s Day 1995, my mother was murdered. The ripples from my choices ended my mother’s life and broke my soul.

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That night, at my lowest point of addiction, I was off on yet another drug binge, trying to turn off my addicted brain and erase my thoughts. I had become involved in gang activity in northern Jersey, and after a drug deal went bad, I was held responsible. Two gang members came looking for me. I wasn’t at home, but my mother was; they took her life as a lesson for me.

Her death and the subsequent fallout changed everything.

In Recovery Magazine

Fall 2016

While in the depths of drug abuse, I seldom had to contemplate the consequences of my actions. I rarely contemplated the consequences of anything. Caught up in addiction, I lost sight of where the ripples of my actions were going – who was affected by them, what lives I was damaging and what pain I was causing – and I was not fazed by any of it.

In my addiction, I lived in a world with a population of one – ME. I didn’t even have room for “myself ” or “I.” There was only room for ME. Such is the case when people are in the grips and lifestyle of substance abuse.

In the abyss of addiction, I lost the power to be rational. I could still see my faults and the turmoil I was causing; but for the most part, my first and foremost response was to obliviate those thoughts by escaping into my drug of choice. Unfortunately, the effects on others, especially those closest to me, were certainly life-altering.

My mother’s murder was just the beginning of the ripples radiating from my choices – choices that were to affect my community, my family and me. The investigation of her death was doomed to failure from its onset; the detectives’ biases derailed any hope of finding her actual murderer. After a disastrous impaneling of a grand jury and two years in a county jail awaiting trial, I accepted responsibility for her death and spent five years in prison. The ripple effects that resulted from accepting responsibility for something caused by my actions, but that I did not do, changed lives. For many years after my incarceration, those ripples continued; in some ways, they carry on today. Despite all of this, I refused to let it be the final chapter of my story. I was determined to recover and adamant about dropping a new pebble in the water of life.

I wanted to make sure those new ripples made a positive difference.

In the world outside of the culture of addiction, the benefits of a life in recovery aren’t always appreciated and discussed as much as is the negative outcomes of addiction.

In the world outside of the culture of addiction, the benefits of a life in recovery aren’t always appreciated and discussed as much as is the negative outcomes of addiction. As we live a life free from drugs and alcohol, we need to acknowledge the positive impact we have on others. Our recovery has a ripple effect. The effects of this ripple often reach as far as, or perhaps even farther than, those of our addiction. In fact, they frequently reach farther than we could ever imagine.

Now as never before, I am present in my life, fulfilling my roles at home, at work and at play. I exceed the expectations of my loved ones. No longer do I steal or manipulate people out of money and valuables to feed the beast of addiction. I am now counted upon to help those around me. I no longer cost society; I am a productive, contributing member of my community. I have become a new creation with a new purpose.

Recovery from addiction is not just being abstinent. It’s living beyond the life I was Fall 2016

given, altruistically contributing to friends, family and society in appreciation for a life I almost lost. Recovery has created a cascade of positive changes across all of my relationships. My blessings move from person to person, and the good emanating from my recovery expands far beyond my own reach.

God uses my small changes to make big changes in the world. It is upon those small changes I must focus. Those new in recovery often want to make immediate amends to everyone; they want to change the world overnight. I’ve learned that to make those lasting, far-reaching differences in the world, I need to focus on the pebble before the mountain.

Gravity, wind, the depth and size of the lake, all affect the pebble I throw into the water.

My particular focus must be on the pebble I have in my hand. A daily walk is my recovery foundation. As I surrender to each day, I toss my recovery pebble into the water of my life.

As I gratefully awaken every day, I continue In Recovery Magazine

my commitment to God and to myself. I embrace my obligation to stay sober and drug-free, if only for the day before me. I continue to gain trust with my family and community, and to become a new creation with a new purpose.

Recovery offers me the life God wants me to live, rather than the misery of an empty existence I once accepted for myself. I choose to live my life so that my recovery will have a ripple effect on as many people as possible. As I do that, I find my own life is touched by the ripples from the pebbles of others.

Michael DeLeon, director and producer of the films “Kids Are Dying” and “An American Epidemic” is expected to release a third documentary, “Higher Power,” and a fourth film, “MarijuanaX,” in 2016.

Michael is the founder of Steered Straight, Inc., a motivational outreach program for youth and young adults, reaching over two million students nationwide and expanding across 45 states. www.steeredstraight.org

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THE NEW KID

by Dana Bowman

I

am at my favorite Twelve Step meeting, sitting among my people, chatting about my week. At the head of the table is the Trinity, our three old-timers. I like to refer to them as Larry, Moe and Curly. I would not be lying by telling you that two out of three of these names are actually correct.

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This group saved my life. When I first got sober, I walked into that church, down that long hallway, and into a small room on the right. I opened the door, made eye contact with a chair and no one else, headed straight for it, and sat waiting for my recovery to make me feel all better. When Moe started talking, I actually did feel better. More importantly, I felt at home.

In Recovery Magazine

Fall 2016

Today, this Wednesday night meeting continues to save me every time I enter the room and sit in my favorite spot. I hunker down, sip scalding coffee, and share jokes with Bill, who sits on my right. It’s a sacred space for all of us.

That’s when New Kid walks in.

New Kid has on one of those flatbrimmed baseball hats that seem ridiculous, perched on top of his narrow face. His skinny frame is swathed in baggy shorts and a large basketball jersey.

Both ears are pierced with large studs, and he wears more necklaces than I have ever attempted at one time. As he looks for a seat, his phone jiggles in his hand and two earbuds are plugged firmly in place.

He looks sixteen.

In sum, he is not really the norm for what we get on Wednesday nights.

The meeting starts, and I notice that he cannot stop moving. His fingers twitch and pull at the label on his large Mountain Dew bottle. His legs bob under the table, causing all of us to vibrate along with him. He spins his phone and thankfully removes his earbuds. I had feared he might not unplug them and would have to deal with the wrath of Moe. All the moms in the room smile at him.

We have to ask his name twice when he introduces himself; his voice is a low mutter. He does not say he is an alcoholic.

Moe starts to speak about his first meeting. I listen and breathe, and find myself in that low hum of recalibration that recovery group meetings give to me.

Slowly, we all speak and share until we get around to New Kid. New Kid reaches up, removes his cap and lays it down carefully on the table before him. His fingers fumble and tap at the flat brim, then reach up and run through his spiky hair. He does not look up from the table as he starts to speak.

“I don’t know if I’m an alcoholic. I’m here because they told me I had to come.

I’ve never been to one of these meetings before.” He glances up briefly, and I nod, willing him to understand that we are here for him.

Fall 2016

He takes a breath. “But I have been listening to you.” His head dips lower. I am reminded of the kids in my English class who are hoping desperately that I won’t call on them, their eyes hidden, their bodies slung low in their seats, willing me to leave them alone.

Then he looks up. His eyes are a light brown, almost a golden color, and I notice some stubble on his cheeks.

“I was arrested last week. That’s happened before.” He rubs tiredly at an invisible spot on the table. “But this time,” he looks at Moe. “This time I want it to just be over. My dad," his voice grows louder, "is a total asshole. He needs to be here right now.” He stubs his finger hard at the table. “He’s needed this as long as I can remember, and he isn't very nice to us.”

“No. He’s not nice to us at all.”

Then the voice of New Kid cracks like a small twig breaking. “Anyhow, I just, like, I just have to stop drinking. I have to. Because it’s not working or helping anything. My life is total crap. You talked about that.”

“And I need to get out of there, but I can’t. I gotta work things out for me and my little brother. Because he deserves that, you know? He deserves to have someone. He has no one. There is no one.

You understand that?”

We sit in silence. Somehow, this kid has taken our meeting and wrung it all out in the few minutes he has spoken.

The meeting ends. Every speaker after the kid had spoken directly to him, which sometimes happens. We can’t help it. We offer him all the words and advice we can in those following minutes, trying to fill him up, because we are all thinking the same thing: we might never see him again.

As the weeks pass, New Kid keeps showing up. Every time he arrives, he lugs in his gigantic bottle of Mountain Dew. He wears his beloved cap with a different jersey.

Just as we all have, he starts to transform.

He finds his voice. His gaze becomes clear, and he meets the eyes of some of us. He looks at his own behavior and then talks about it. Sometimes, he laughs.

In Recovery Magazine

Sometimes he makes some of us cry. One night, he is back to staring down at the table and explains that he has asked his dad to come with him tonight. He tells us that his dad had promised he would, but then he blew him off. The moms all hug him after the meeting and load him up with enough sugary treats to last him until the next Wednesday.

We hope. We all hope he will keep coming, and he does.

Until he doesn’t. One Wednesday night, he is not in his usual chair. I have not seen him since. It only confirmed a belief I had not allowed myself to acknowledge all along. How on earth did the kid have a chance? How could he beat this disease, when the challenge of youth was so clearly not on his side? Young people experiment.

They drink and take drugs. This is part of their contract with life, isn’t it? Isn’t that what we all expect them to do?

“It’s hard, you know? Sometimes this sucks. All my buddies . . . they party.

And here I am,” he shrugged. He was smiling while he said it. The kid had a smile that wrinkled up his whole face. We understood. Who would willingly walk into this shabby room on a Wednesday night with the Styrofoam cups and bad lighting to talk about their lives? In truth, my version of “partying” was sitting on my couch, downing warm vodka while watching Netflix shows that I would forgot the next morning. It’s that feeling of numbness we were all after. We were all the same.

I like to think New Kid is off somewhere, still sober, watching a ball game with the clear light still shining in his golden eyes. However, since we are all the same, I know that his chances might not be so great without meetings. We all can fall. I pray for him, just as much as I pray for myself.

Dana Bowman is simultaneously a wife, mother, teacher, writer and runner. She has been published in numerous magazines, and is the proud author at the Momsie Blog.

Her book, Bottled: How to Survive Early Recovery, is now available. wwww.Momsieblog.com

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The academically-focused case management program is unique to the Life of Purpose Treatment model and is designed to address a gap in traditional addiction treatment services offered to young people. Treatment is focused on the management of stressors common to college students in early recovery. While navigating the challenges of a college education, clients work with a highly-skilled and experienced team of academically-focused case managers as they learn self-advocacy skills and how to bolster the coping mechanisms necessary to succeed in their recovery.

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26

In Recovery Magazine

Fall 2016

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27

ACADEMIA

by James Hatzell

ransitioning into college is not an easy task for anyone. Transitioning into the often abstinence-hostile environment of a college campus can be much more difficult for a student who has recently entered long-term recovery. Thankfully, this is not always the case. Student recovery programs are sprouting up and taking root at academic institutions around the country.

These programs differ in size, name and scope. They may be known as Collegiate Recovery Programs (CRP) or Collegiate Recovery Communities (CRC). Many have dedicated staff and a space on campus, while others are limited to student organizations.

Some institutions even offer sober living options for students in recovery.

Student recovery programs share one common goal: supporting recovering students as they pursue an education. These

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programs are reducing the stigma often associated with substance abuse, substance use disorders, and recovery. They also help recovering students feel that they belong. I have spoken with many individuals who have experienced the amazing feeling of graduating sober.

During my first two years in college, I used drugs and drank heavily. My problem was serious enough that the Office of Student Conduct recommended me to the CRC at Penn State (PSU CRC). It was there that I met the program coordinator, Jason Whitney.

People like Jason make success stories like mine possible.

A few months and an intervention by the Centre County criminal justice system later, I was on my way to rehab. I called Jason before I went in, and he assured me everything

In Recovery Magazine

Fall 2016

would be okay and that he was excited for me to come back to Penn State. After a semester of online classes, I did make it back. I suspect I may be the only student to ever schedule Penn State online classes from a payphone in rehab.

It was the behind-the-scenes work of the PSU CRC that enabled me to get back into college and stay there. Jason had met with my adviser, the Office of Student Conduct, and my parents. He wrote letters to the courts, and other Penn State professors vouched for me.

The Office of Student Conduct made an exception and decided not to kick me out of school. I am a college graduate and not in jail for drug offences, in great part because students and faculty from Penn State sat in the courtroom with me and addressed the judge on my behalf. These are the parts of CRC and student recovery programs that people don’t usually see. Although the scope of my CRC was to support students already in recovery, the year Jason came into my life, he also met with over 100 referred students who were not yet in recovery.

The PSU CRC gave me an incentive to get sober and stay sober. I may have a criminal record littered with drug offenses, but I also possess two college degrees and a full-time job in my field of study. On August 1st, I celebrated two years of sobriety. The longer I stayed sober, the more precedents I set.

CRC and student recovery programs are more than the three peer-to-peer student support seminars offered each week. They are more than spring breaks spent with other student recovery programs. They are more than living with other sober college students. They are more than the sober parties and tailgates, and more than the sense of camaraderie and identity students in long-term recovery can have.

Student recovery programs are changing the social perceptions about recovery; they are the change recovering students need to have another chance at success. These programs are showing students in rehab, and society as a whole, that a college degree and a better future are still possible.

Fall 2016

Colleges and universities are enormous institutions. It is nearly impossible for a student’s voice to be heard without staff support. The PSU CRC and other student recovery programs humanize the face of students affected by substance use disorders.

They offer a safe and normal college experience as they help students in recovery deal with the wreckage of their past. The student who failed because of shooting heroin before class is given a second chance.

They keep the guy like me out of jail and in school.

It’s no secret that a large percentage of college students drop out as a result of using drugs and alcohol. Colleges and universities without support to help those individuals are losing valuable students, graduates and alumni.

I’ve seen what happens. From an institutional perspective, the investment in the PSU CRC has translated into higher GPAs and more graduates with better job offers at graduation. Students come back to school sober, and their 2.0 GPA rises to a 3.5 GPA. Given the opportunity and support, they become model students.

The proof is there. I graduated with degrees in petroleum engineering and accounting.

Both my roommates from last year dropped out of college, then came back sober and nearly doubled their GPAs. After a few years of sobriety and the beginning of a career in construction, my best friend came back to college for a second attempt and earned a 3.9 GPA as a mechanical engineer. I could literally speak for an hour about the miracles I have witnessed and the achievements earned by every student and graduate in my support network at Penn State.

of Technology at Life of Purpose, a substance abuse treatment center that offers academically-focused substance abuse treatment.

If not for their CRC, Penn State would have kicked me out, and I would be in jail right now. Instead, I get to pay my debt to society by paving the way to success for the people who come after me.

On more than one occasion, Jason Whitney pointed out that many people believe that someone who has abused drugs and alcohol will struggle to meet their peers’ level of potential after achieving sobriety. This is simply not what happens. When they return to an institution that recognizes and supports them, students in recovery often catch up to their peers and frequently rapidly surpass them.

Without institutional support, my successes and those of many others could have easily been failures. The relationship between support and success is not linear, but exponential. Simply acknowledging the existence of students in recovery may be of some help, but providing a space and a means to navigate the institutional machines in large universities such as Penn State is paramount for those exponential changes to take place.

Jimmy Hatzell is the Director of Technology for Life of Purpose and is a co-founding partner at Recovery EcoSystems, a student treatment provider that integrates higher education into clinical care and improves the landscape of technology in the recovery ecosystem. He is the president of Lions in Recovery, which supports students in recovery at Penn State, part of the Cooperative Committee for the PSU CRC, and a member of the Philadelphia Chapter of Young People in Recovery.

www.lifeofpurposetreatement.com

Two years ago, I was a downwardspiraling mess of a person. Today, I am a college graduate, son, brother, cousin, nephew and the Director

In Recovery Magazine

29

AUSTIN

CITYWIDE:

SHARING T H E S PI R O F R E CO I T VERY

by Lisa Wainer

“This is an experience you must not miss.”

– Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 89.

I

n Austin, Texas, we have a unique and wonderful open AA event called Austin Citywide. On the third Saturday of every month, upwards of 700 people meet for the sole purpose of enjoying the diverse recovery community in Austin and its surrounding areas. The speaker meeting, which is always recorded, begins promptly at 7 PM, with speakers traveling from the local area and beyond. There are close to 100 volunteers each month.

The event also includes a potluck dinner that feeds 500 to 700 people. The devoted setup crew is hard at work by 3 PM, beginning the kitchen prep and arranging tables and chairs. The group supplies chicken and side dishes, and the potluck dinner often develops into a delectable banquet with generous donations from the members.

Any leftover food is taken to the 24-hour AA meeting club. Childcare is provided from 5 PM to 9 PM; there are typically over 40 children in attendance. In March of this 30

year, the group celebrated year anniversary.

its nine

Citywide is a bustle of activity each month. Newcomers and old-timers alike find fellowship, as well as a place to feel “a part of ” and be of service. Austin is a growing city, and so is our recovery community. When folks move to town and hear about Citywide, they naturally want to get involved. Almost instantly, they develop a host of friends.

This is an experience not to be missed.

This major event did not come about by happenstance. It was the brainchild of an AA member who fought tirelessly to bring it to fruition. The first committee members worked countless hours to plan and spread the word around our community, with no assurance that it would catch on. Not only was the first meeting a huge success, but we outgrew our space that night, bringing in over 250 attendees.

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As time went on, the meeting became more organized, and new committees were formed to handle the large amount of work it took to manage such an event. There are now 22 coordinator positions, most of which have assistants and teams. Expenses total approximately $1,800 per month, which is seldom raised by merely passing the basket – the customary one-dollar donation just doesn’t cut it in this day and age. It has been incumbent upon organizers to find alternate funding sources. In addition to the sale of speaker CDs, the group now also sells t-shirts and commemorative chips at each meeting.

In the first years of the event, I volunteered in minor capacities but wasn’t interested in a serious commitment. Then, in January 2011, with 13 years of sobriety, I went through a total breakdown of mind, body and spirit. I call it my “dark night of the soul.” Almost overnight, I started suffering Fall 2016

from extreme panic attacks and deep depression. I didn’t want to drink; I just wanted to die. Two things saved my life during that time: outside help, which I desperately needed, and Austin Citywide.

Around that time, the founder of Citywide, with little knowledge of my diminished state, asked me if I’d be interested in taking over the coordination of the event. When I began to explain that at that point in my life I could barely tie my shoes, I burst into tears. He graciously suggested that I come out to the setup at 3 PM and just hang out, help out or do whatever I felt I could. That’s what I did.

While I was there for those few hours, I noticed I actually felt okay for the first time in a long time. So month after month, I continued to go and help out. I moved chairs, assisted in the kitchen, and helped set up the buffet. I did whatever was needed.

As time passed, with lots of support, I began to feel better and could again see the light of day.

One day, I said “yes” to the event coordinator position. This decision changed my life.

Fortunately for me, it was Citywide’s five year anniversary, and the group was going to get a facelift. It was the best thing that could have happened to me. My thoughts Fall 2016

began to shift to the greater world around me. I was excited! I became interested in something other than myself.

Some called it obsession; I called it focus.

I remade and redecorated everything from signs to banners to donation baskets. You name it, I laminated it! My house became “Citywide Central.”

Life got better, much better.

One day, I received a call from some folks saying they were interested in starting a Citywide in Dallas, Texas. I sent them what I could to get them started. They came to Austin to observe our organization and process in action. Soon after, they began their own group, Citywide Dallas. A number of us from Austin attended their opening night to offer love and support, and of course, to lend a hand. It was wonderful to share this phenomenon that had become so special to me and many others.

About eight months later, I got a call from a friend in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, who was interested in starting a Citywide there. Again, I sent him everything I could; six months later, OKC Citywide was born. These cities now host hundreds of recovering alcoholics each month for fun, food, fellowship and the spirit of recovery.

Will others begin popping up? I hope so!

In Recovery Magazine

If I had listened to my own voice that selfishly said, “No, I don’t want to do that,” I would have missed an amazing experience that forever changed my life. It was my complete breakdown that caused me to spend so much time at Citywide.

Throughout that difficult time, God gave me just enough willingness to keep showing up early, one meeting at a time. In time, that willingness grew to open-mindedness.

With time, that open-mindedness grew to a desire to be of service. I’m absolutely certain my life is one of many saved by Citywide.

If you ever find yourself in Austin on the third Saturday of the month, please join us. We meet at the Riverbend Church Fellowship Hall. As is says on page 164 of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, “We shall be with you in the Fellowship of the Spirit, and you will surely meet some of us as you trudge the Road of Happy Destiny. May God bless you and keep you – until then.”

Lisa Wainer has been an active member of AA since her first meeting in January 1998. She is a graduate of the University of Texas at Austin and has been self-employed in the employee benefits industry since 1988. Her desire to help others permeates every aspect of her life. lwainer@sbcglobal.net

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Everyday Miracle

The Truths

I Learned

by Brook McKenzie

With a small duffel bag of clothes in tow, I embarked on a life-changing experience that would prove to be the launching pad for a new life in recovery. I haven’t been back to prison since.

W

ith no tattoos, perfect white teeth and a too-large vocabulary, I had very few credentials to suggest I would survive in prison. Yet, there I was, 19 years old, a shaved head and 155 pounds in an orange jumpsuit. I was not much to behold; if anything, I was a poster child for “easy prey.”

and we spent our youth exploring the woods, fishing, making forts and tree houses. I played baseball and enjoyed a host of childhood friendships.

How often I have wished I had never taken that first hit of crack cocaine. So many times, I have wondered how different things might have been. I grew up in a great family with plenty of opportunity. It was more likely that I would have gone to graduate school, embarked on a career and started a family than to have wound up in prison; but that was not what happened.

From a very young age, our parents taught us how to be responsible, courteous and conscientious young men. As hardworking, middleclass young adults, our parents sought to provide for us the best they could, and all they could. They did a wonderful job. Still, in my heart, I sensed they felt to blame for what happened to me. In reality, what happened to me happened to each of us. Addiction is a family disease that affects the lives of all who come in contact with it.

For years, my parents had wrung their hands in dismay, saying things like, “How did this happen?” “Why can’t you stop?” “Can you quit for us, if not for yourself?” Sometimes I had answers for these questions, but none of them quite made sense when set against the backdrop of my life in shambles.

Between the years of 1999 and 2009, I served almost eight years in prison as a result of my addiction, and my family served it with me.

I remember the look on my mother’s face when she would come to visit. Sometimes I would arrive in the visitation room with a black eye.

I was 15 years old, a child really, when my addiction to crack cocaine began. I had little idea of what was to come. For the next 20 years, this nightmare of enslavement continued for me and my family. There were countless late night phone calls, desperate pleas, thefts, bail bonds, disappearances, missing purses, missed holidays, disappointments and a myriad of broken promises.

As we sat there, she would gently squeeze my hand and recount all that had happened in the family. While I had been away, my brother graduated high school, went on to college, and earned his bachelor’s degree. While traveling abroad, he had met the love of his life.

As a child, I wanted to go to college and become a dentist. I loved my parents and they loved me. My little brother was my sidekick, 32

Sometimes during these visits, when I could muster the courage, I would look my Mom in the eye and promise her with all of my heart that things would be different next time; that I had changed.

In Recovery Magazine

Fall 2016

The severity of my condition was unbeknownst to me, and certainly to her – none of us had a full realization of it.

Once released from prison, and with every good intention to live a reformed life for the sake of what my family had been through, I would relapse. Whether it took a few days or a few weeks, I always went back to my drugs, as if asleep and unable to awaken. After the fact, as in a nightmare, I would come to in complete shock – “How had I gotten here again?” “What happened?”

The horror and guilt consumed me. How could I do this to my family, to myself, yet again? Wouldn’t it be better to kill myself now and let them begin to heal than to continue indefinitely causing harm? Ashamed, I dared not show my face to anyone. The only way I knew to cover up what I felt was to go on to the bitter end, which for me, always resulted in arrest.

As my addiction progressed, I would steal for drugs, lie and prostitute myself. I would walk miles and miles to get my next fix, roaming the streets like a zombie. My conscience under siege, whatever I had to do, I would do. The pain, the loneliness and sense of isolation were unbearable. On many occasions, I would find myself completely hopeless and in total despair. During these times, I would fall to my knees and pray, “God, please help me, please show me another way.”

Then in 2010, as though in answer to my prayers, I was presented with an opportunity to go to treatment. With a small duffel bag of clothes in tow, I embarked on a life-changing experience that would prove to be the launching pad for a new life in recovery. I haven’t been back to prison since.

Located in Phoenix, AZ, Calvary Center has been a leader in addiction recovery since 1964.

Our treatment programs are for men and women, 18 years and older, who are struggling with addiction to alcohol and drugs.

Not long ago, I accepted a position as an outreach coordinator for a well-known drug and alcohol treatment center in southern Orange County, California. I now have the privilege of interacting with the parents and family members of addicts in treatment. Together, we walk hand-in-hand toward getting their loved one the help they need and deserve.

Ironically, and despite it being a big part of what fuels my passion to serve others, my own story rarely comes up anymore. As time moves on, there are new stories of hope and redemption. The truths I learned in treatment are the truths I carry with me today, and they are the same truths I share with these families and others similarly afflicted.

Calvary is contracted with most insurance carriers to provide a full continuum of care including medical detoxification, residential and outpatient services.

These days, when my mother calls, I answer the phone and we talk.

We don’t talk about the things we used to discuss; we talk about gratitude, and we talk about life. Same with my father.

My younger brother and I are again the best of friends. He now has two young children of his own, two girls, and I get to be an uncle to both of them. By the grace of God, my nieces will never know me as a drug addict, a convict or a thief. They will only know the real me, the person God intended me to be.

Brook McKenzie serves as the outreach coordinator and family liaison for New Method Wellness. As an experienced interventionist, he works directly with addicts’ families to facilitate an interruption of the loved one’s active addiction cycle, discontinue enabling factors and to help expedite the addict’s entry into treatment. brook@newmethodwellness.com

Fall 2016

All clinical staff are licensed and credentialed to provide a model of treatment that is proven to set the stage for long-term recovery.

1-866-76-SOBER (76237)

www.calvarycenter.com

In Recovery Magazine

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The

Bookstand Recovery is the subject of countless books, blogs, films, CDs and apps. Below are some titles worth a look. If you would like us to include your books, blogs, films, CDs or apps in this column, please contact editor@inrecoverymagazine.com

Grace of Gratitude (Deborah L. Purdue, Applegate Valley Publishing, 2015). This beautiful, inspirational journal is mixed with a collection of the author's insightful journal entries, full-color illustrations and lined pages that invite readers to write their own thoughts about giving thanks. www.graceofgratitude.com

What Is Alcoholics Anonymous? (Marc Galanter, MD, Oxford University Press, 2016). This book is the most authoritative work written on Alcoholics Anonymous' role in addiction recovery. The author captures the essence of hope, communicates the necessity for recovering individuals to share the message with those still suffering, and puts to rest the myths surrounding Twelve Step recovery.

Reclaiming Your Addicted Brain: A Recovery GPS (Irwin Morse and Roger Stark, self-published, 2016). Written around one man’s recovery from addiction (alcohol and sex addiction), clinical notes and comments help the reader understand this baffling disease. This book provides a revealing look into how the addicted brain forms and how a person can return from “addict land.” No psycho-babble, just down-to-earth straight talk language of recovery. http://reclaimingyouraddictedbrain.com

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In Recovery Magazine

Fall 2016

Red Card: The Soccer Star Who Lost It All To Gambling (Tony Kelly, Create Space, 2013). This is the tragic yet uplifting story of a sportsman’s battle with his demons. Tony Kelly’s blossoming pro-soccer career was marred by mishaps and misdeeds that drove him to disaster. Ruined by an addiction to gambling, he lost his career, his partner and all of his money. Kelly invites the reader into his secret hell of racism, despair, depression, stardom, gambling addiction and self-destruction. http://kellysredcardconsultancy.co.uk

Nobody's Girl: An Incredible Story about Finding Freedom (Sybil Paige, Xlibris US, 2016). Beautifully written and spiritually uplifting, this book is a story of hope. The author focuses on the positive recovery outcome from moving through the hard work necessary to get to the other side of a painful issue, while illuminating the path to a new life and offering tools for living. www.sybilpaige.com

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Fall 2016

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35

Book Review

“Every now and then, I wake up to find that my wife is horrible.”

So begins Mike L.’s entry for January 2nd in a bright little paperback’s year of meditations.

I have to laugh. Who hasn’t felt this way about a loved one at one time or another?

Rummaging through the baggage that caused him such resentment the morning after New Year’s Eve, the author comes to a sharp awareness. “My anger, my unjoyfulness, my unhappiness all stem from one of MY character defects. No, it is not anger. Perfectionism.” He decides to pray for his wife. He’ll also say the Seventh Step prayer, humbly asking for his shortcomings to be removed. He expresses gratitude for his own “gift of awareness.”

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In Recovery Magazine

Fall 2016

Mike L.’s daily meditations are invariably infused with this kind of honest, often humorous, reflection on his own human-beingness and on how he uses the Twelve Step program to deal with his revelations.

He starts each page with a quote, most from the AA’s Big Book or words heard at meetings, but some from such diverse and random sources as Albert Einstein, Snoopy, the Bible, and Henry Higgins of My Fair Lady.

After the opening quote, the author’s personal reflection, which is stated in a few paragraphs, fills the bulk of each page. The page ends with a thought-provoking, one- to two-line cap of the subject for the day. These pithy ending statements are worthwhile in their own right. April 28th relays a stark truth: “I want it all.” Doesn’t everyone? The cap from March 12th states, “I am a fan of my children, not their coach, certainly not their drill instructor.” As a mother, I love that reminder. July 25th leaves us with this thought: “I no longer scoff at the idea of God.” I’m there, too.

Like other daily meditation books based on our program, this chunky 4”x6” almost-pocket book contains a list of the Twelve Steps. At the end of the book is a comprehensive index of topics. Following the index is something new to me in daily readers: five blank lined pages for the reader’s personal notes.

Having scribbled all over margins and inside covers, I appreciate these pages.

Another departure from the ordinary occurs on February 13th, where a blank chart fills most of the page. On the right side of the chart is a vertical list of seven personal themes, such as “physical health,” “finances,” and “relationships.” On the left side are spaces for the writer to compare these areas before and after entering a Twelve Step program.

Mike L. suggests that we copy the chart and fill it in.

He invites us to add other subjects. He talks briefly about his own experience in doing this exercise, and says he always winds up feeling grateful.

This book is full of examples of gratitude, and why and how to practice it. Rambling easily about “God” on September 6th, the author concludes, “Inner Power, Higher Power, the God of the robes and beard or whatever, the force that is working in me is strengthened by my gratitude.” He wraps up the year on December 31st with the words, “There is no end to the potential for more ‘better.’ All we have to do is stay, be grateful – not smug – and keep trudging.”

It’s evident from the content of Mike L.’s book that he chose the perfect title. His attitude is catching, too. Turning the pages inspires readers to be like Mike – grateful, not smug – and also to believe they can be like him, one day at a time.

Grateful, Not Smug: Daily Recovery Meditations Mike L. Self-published on Amazon, 3rd printing, 2013

Fall 2016

In Recovery Magazine

37

S

exual Addiction in the Internet Age

by Melissa Thornburg

A

t the treatment program where I work, we receive daily emails from men, asking if we can treat their sexual addiction, compulsive behavior or trauma. Our treatment center, Prescott House in Arizona, has been growing and changing with the times. With access to internet pornography at an all-time high, it is one of the many addictions treatment programs around the country that has had to become skilled in treating process addictions.

In 2015, the Washington Times reported Americans were spending an average of 4.7 hours a day on their smart phones. Generation Z (people born between 1987 and 2007) and the previous Generation Y comprise an entire group of people who have grown up in an image-based culture and who have never known life without internet access.

In an April 2015 TedX talk, “Growing Up in a Pornified Culture,” Dr. Gail Dines, sociologist, women’s studies professor, and porn industry researcher and author of Pornland, asks us, “What does it mean to grow up in a pornified culture . . . in a society where you are surrounded by images of hypersexualized, pornified women?”

I believe the creators of the website and blog, Your Brain on Porn, a website developed to support male abstinence from porn, maintained by a retired anatomy and physiology teacher and a group of men who have recovered from internet porn-related issues, would say our pornified culture is causing all sorts of negative attachment and connection issues.

At the forefront of these issues is something called Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction (PIED), which has become so widespread among the Generation Z population that Time Magazine recently dedicated its cover to the problem. While there is no standard definition for PIED, it is understood to be the inability to achieve an erection with a partner as a direct result of conditioning by the reliance and dependence on pornography for stimulation, ejaculation and sexual connection.

It’s real and it’s happening to a staggering number of young men in our culture. The Journal of Adolescent Health reported that in 2012 alone, 30 percent of the country’s youth suffer from erectile dysfunction.

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Just as sexual offenders groom their victims, so too, the porn industry has groomed society almost overnight to operate from a highly sexualized perspective. For example, consider the advent of dating apps such as Tinder, Bumble, OK Cupid and other “hookup” apps, including Ashley Madison and Grinder. These apps have made it commonplace to swipe for human connection and have become part of the 4.7 hours a day many spend on smart phones. These and other sites have created a climate of disposable connections not seen in previous generations.

The unprecedented access to technology and potential sex partners has given rise to the outcomes described as the Coolidge Effect.

First coined in 1955 by behavioral endocrinologist, Frank A. Beach, this term describes a phenomenon seen in mammals in which males – and to a lesser extent, females – exhibit renewed sexual interest if introduced to new receptive sexual partners, even after cessation of sex with prior but still available sexual partners.

Internet pornography sites allow viewers to have virtually unlimited access to new potential partners. The human brain makes no differentiation between cyber and physical reality; viewers often become increasingly addicted to the cyber source and continuously look for a fix, even after satiation.

Does this sound familiar? The process of porn-based sexual addiction is identical to that of substance addiction. In many cases, a man who consistently masturbates to pornography develops an inability to achieve an erection and possibly an intimate relationship with another person because his brain becomes rewired to rely upon the technology with which he’s interacting.

Pornography is changing our species. I am not proposing that we all go on “a straight pepper diet,” but this problem has many experts concerned. The Utah Legislature is concerned, too; so much so that they recently passed a resolution to treat pornography as a public health crisis.

I’m all for feeling good. After many years of dating, including the use of the dating app Tinder, where I met my partner, I’m finally enjoying the benefits of a healthy, monogamous relationship with a partner I love.

Patrick Carnes, editor-in-chief of Sexual Addiction and Compulsivity: The Journal of Treatment and Prevention, and founder of The International Institute for Trauma and Addiction Professionals, has researched and worked in the field of sexual addiction in a number of capacities, including clinical director for sexual disorder services at The Meadows in Wickenburg, Arizona, where he is the founder and senior consultant of the Gentle Path program. This program uses the following definition of sexual addiction: “A state characterized by compulsive participation or engagement in sexual activity, particularly sexual intercourse, despite negative consequences. Proponents of a diagnostic model for sexual addiction, as defined here, consider it to be one of several sex-related disorders within an umbrella concept known as hypersexual disorder.”

In Recovery Magazine

Fall 2016

Lincoln Sperry, LMSW and certified sex addiction therapist at Arizona’s Prescott House for men, states, “Far and away, the most common characteristics of men with sex addiction are disordered attachment features, repressed grief and trauma issues, as well as a premature [early childhood] exposure to sexual arousal.” Lincoln goes on to say: “Hypersexuality is often not a prominent feature of these men; in fact, intimacy avoidance, and in many cases sexual avoidance, are more common feature of men who are sexually compulsive with pornography and other sexual cyberspace activities. Sex addicts are insecure about or avoidant of traditional sexual intimacy, and often [experience] disassociated intimacy and interpersonal connection from sexual behaviors. This is why so many sex addicts struggle with sexual intimacy and, in many cases, sexual performance in meaningful relationships.”

Individuals in treatment for sexual addiction benefit from abstinence from technology and participate in long-term treatment as they relearn healthy connections with themselves and their peers.

Arizona’s Prescott House utilizes a peer-driven, Twelve Step-based culture and model for treatment, in addition to the “30 Task Model for Sexual Addiction Recovery” developed by Patrick Carnes for the Gentle Path Program. This works where other paths have not.

Prescott House also works with the family members of sex addicts, as spouses and significant others tend to have an associated high amount of trauma to deal with as they move forward in their own recovery from the devastating effects of the addiction.

If you or a loved one needs support or treatment for the consequences of a sexual addiction, help and resources are available. If you feel you may have a sexual addiction or are experiencing negative effects from your porn use, consider taking the Sexual Addiction Screening Test (SAST).

This test can be accessed for free at WWW.RECOVERYZONE.COM/TESTS/SEX-ADDICTION/SAST Melissa Thornburg is the Director of Marketing and Outreach for Prescott House in Prescott, Arizona. Since getting sober over 17 years ago, she’s graduated from Northern Arizona University, become a registered yoga instructor and is working towards Somatic Experiencing Practitioner Certification. Melissa enjoys time with her boyfriend, family, friends and rescue dog, Layla. www.prescotthouse.net

Fall 2016

In Recovery Magazine

39

Family Support: Making a Difference for Teens with Eating Disorders

by Heather Goff, MD

A

ccording to the movies, being a teenager is supposed to be about sweet sixteen parties, algebra homework, first dates, soccer practice, going to the prom, and learning to drive. For some teenagers and their families, however, getting through adolescence is about much more – it’s about the journey from an eating disorder to recovery.

Eating disorders like bulimia, anorexia, binge eating and Avoidant Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARFID), are serious illnesses that impact a person’s physical and emotional health.

Symptoms of Adolescent Eating Disorders •Distorted body image •Intense fear of weight gain •Restricting food intake •Self-induced vomiting •Laxative abuse •Binge eating •Compulsive over-exercise 40

According to what we learn in movies, being a teenager is supposed to be about sweet sixteen parties, algebra homework, first dates, soccer practice, going to the prom, and learning to drive. For some teenagers and their families, however, it is about the journey from an eating disorder to recovery.

In Recovery Magazine

Fall 2016

The road to recovery for these teens can often be a rocky, uphill journey. While family members are an essential support along the way, it is important to remember that family members can’t “fix” the eating disorder. It is also important to remember that an eating disorder is not anyone’s fault; neither parents nor the child are to blame.

For years, many professionals blamed the family for their child's eating disorder. The family of a hospitalized teenager would often have little involvement in the young person’s treatment. In recent decades, however, clinicians have come to better understand the complexity of factors that contribute to the development of an eating disorder. Families are less often blamed, and are instead invited and encouraged to be part of the treatment and support network. Parental involvement is now considered an essential part of the recovery process, as well as a predictor of positive outcomes.

What is a family to do for a child with an eating disorder? There are a few steps parents and caregivers can take to support their loved one before, during and after treatment.

First and foremost, get educated about eating disorders and evidence-based treatments. Regardless of where your loved one is on the road to recovery, education and information will help you to better understand what they are going through. A few resources to get you started include: - The National Eating Disorders Association } (NEDA) advocates on behalf of and supporting individuals and families affected by eating disorders.

- Treatment Manual for Anorexia Nervosa: A Family-Based Approach (James Lock et al) is a book we highly recommend to parents of children with anorexia or bulimia. Family-Based Treatment (FBT), also known as the Maudsley Approach, is an effective evidence-based therapy.

- Eatingdisorder.org provides information about the different types of eating disorders, as well as a confidential online assessment tool to help you identify early warning signs and symptoms in a loved one.

Make your home a body-positive, recovery-friendly place. The following are a few methods to try: - Get rid of the scale. Health is determined by so much more than just a number on the scale. Your teenager will be weighed by a treatment provider. Do they or anyone else really need to know their weight every day?

- Eat family meals together whenever possible. Eating meals together creates a time to check in with your child and provide them with support. Research shows that children who regularly sit down to eat dinner with their family seem to experience less stress, have a better relationship with their parents, and are more likely to do better in school.

− Do not make comments about weight or appearance.

Focus on all the other amazing qualities that people possess: intelligence, courage, a great laugh. The benefits of this shift are two-fold. Even saying “you look healthier” can be misinterpreted or triggering for a child with an eating disorder. This includes comments directed toward your teenager, as well as comments about yourself. What better way to model a healthy body image than by giving up the “I feel fat” comments and instead complimenting your own fabulousness!

Get professional help. A teenager with an eating disorder is not merely someone who took a diet a little too far. Without help, eating disorders may persist into adulthood and cause long-term health problems, such as significant bone loss. Eating disorders are severe illnesses that require treatment. The sooner an individual seeks treatment, the better the chances for recovery. An individual’s treatment team is typically comprised of physicians, therapists and registered dietitians, and should include providers who have prior experience treating eating disorders.

Remember the rest of the family. Whether they are older or younger, siblings will be impacted by your teen’s eating disorder and recovery process. Younger family members may have an especially difficult time understanding why their brother or sister seems to be getting all of the attention. Siblings often do not realize the severity of their sibling’s illness; and even if they do, they may still be upset and angry that their parent missed another baseball game because of a doctor’s appointment.

Professional help can be extremely valuable. Although family counseling may focus primarily on supporting your teenager, it can also help with communication and family dynamics that have developed.

Take care of yourself. It can be incredibly stressful and painful to watch a loved one struggle with an eating disorder. Many people suffer in secret with tremendous amounts of shame around their symptoms, and often end up isolating themselves from family and friends. This, in turn, can have a negative impact on other relationships; some family members have described feeling replaced by the eating disorder.

Family members need to find their own supports: friends, family, a therapist or counselor, or a support group. Having your own support network and remembering your own self-care will allow you to better support your teenager. Keep in mind, a heart always pumps blood to itself first.

Finally, have patience. Prepare for a marathon, not a 50-yard dash!

The treatment and recovery process can be a long road. Remember, there is always hope for recovery around the bend.

- Avoid “diet” foods (sugar-free, fat-free, low-calorie, etc.). Diet foods have been proven to interfere with health and recovery. It’s best to work on incorporating a greater variety of healthy foods into your meals.

Fall 2016

In Recovery Magazine

Heather Goff, MD is board-certified in both adult psychiatry and child and adolescent psychiatry. While at Yale, Dr. Goff was also a fellow at the Edward Zigler Center in Child Development and Public Policy. She is also the medical director of The Center for Eating Disorders at Sheppard Pratt’s intensive outpatient program in Baltimore, Maryland. www.eatingdisorder.org

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Fall 2016

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43

America’s Quiet Pandemic

by Patricia Rosen

44

In Recovery Magazine

Fall 2016

E

arlier this year, the news was dominated by the Zika virus.

You couldn't turn on the TV without hearing an update on this dangerous infection. Once isolated to tropical climates, the disease has become a pandemic here in the US. In February, the World Health Organization (WHO) declared the Zika virus an international public health emergency, and President Obama was able to reallocate millions of unspent Ebola funds to fight the virus.

Fall 2016

In Recovery Magazine

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"Opiate and opioid addiction has become America’s quiet pandemic.

We’re in the height of an epidemic that is costing Americans billions of dollars."

While addiction has also been recognized worldwide as a disease, funding for prevention and treatment continues to be insufficient to meet the growing costs of this deadly disease. I lost my son, Steven, to the disease of addiction. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about him.

Today, young people are dying in unprecedented numbers as a result of addiction. There are countless “Stevens” in your own community. For many, pharmaceutical drug abuse is the culprit that opened the door to addiction.

Unfortunately, many young people believe that because a doctor gave them a prescription, the drug must be safe. Drugs such as Oxycontin are similar to heroin and are extremely dangerous and addictive.

I watched Steven grow up to be a handsome, popular and productive young man. He was a high achiever and a good student all the way through college. Then, he became addicted to drugs. He struggled every day, fighting with every fiber in his body to break free from the grip of addiction. He would go months without using, until one day he would start again.

It is easy to sit in the darkened shadows of the peanut gallery and throw shells that fuel the myths and stigma surrounding addiction, rather than taking the ten minutes necessary to understand the power of today’s opioids and opiates. These painkillers are being prescribed and dispensed at an alarming rate, and they are as addictive, and in many cases, more potent and addictive, than any street drug. A high percentage of heroin 46

addicts in this country started out with prescription painkillers.

and allow even more opiates and opioids to find their way into our households.

Although we have known for decades that people may be born with a genetic predisposition for addiction, many still consider it to be a weakness of character or a moral failing rather than a disease. This seems to be a sentiment held most often by individuals who have never personally experienced its iron grip.

Am I wrong to expect our government to be responsible, unbiased and proactive when it comes to public safety policy? When I begin to gain confidence in our elected officials, inevitably someone like Maine’s governor, Paul LePage, comes along. He vetoed a bill that would allow pharmacists to dispense Naloxone, a lifesaving drug that reverses opioid overdoses, saying, “Naloxone does not truly save lives; it merely extends them until the next overdose.” Irresponsible statements like this take the wind out of my sails, especially when they come from highranking government officials.

Opiate and opioid addiction has become America’s quiet pandemic. The problem has grown much larger than one mother can solve; more than any one community can possibly deal with. We’re in the midst of an epidemic that is costing Americans billions of dollars.

I am disheartened by the knowledge that today alone, 79 Americans will die a horrific, avoidable death at the hands of opiates and opioids. While I am grateful for the expedient approach to curbing Zika, I believe our government should spend as much or more time, attention and money on addiction.

In 1998, thousands of Americans perished from overdoses related to prescription drugs. Coroners and medical examiners recognized the growing problem and alerted the proper authorities. Both the Center for Disease Control and Prevention and the National Institute of Health saw the dramatic increases in overdose deaths for the same year, as did Congress and the President. However, the only action our government took was to loosen regulations In Recovery Magazine

When public opinion shifts away from the stigma and toward the reality of the true nature of addiction, we can begin to see meaningful change.

Patricia Rosen is the publisher of the national award winning magazine, The Sober World. It’s an informative, educational magazine for parents, families, treatment providers and those struggling with addiction. www.thesoberworld.com

Fall 2016

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Learn how this valuable therapy may benefit your recovery process and to find trained practioners in your area, visit: www.shpinc-inrecovery.com.

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TEEN

ADDICTION

by Leigh Kolodny-Kraft

H

uman nature drives us to find ways to cope with pain. According to a study published in the Journal of Emergency Medicine (1993), about 34 percent of teens admitted for trauma treatment also tested positive for drugs and/ or alcohol. Though each teen is affected differently by the traumas in their lives, these experiences create both pain and the desire to avoid that pain. This often opens the door to addiction. In an effort to selfmedicate, teens may reach for drugs to alter their state of mind and to temporarily forget their problems. In working with my clients, I have found that pain is the root of their addiction.

There are many myths associated with teenage addiction. Some parents are blamed and judged even though many do everything “right.” There are many

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assumptions that place blame and create shame: “Only teens from bad homes become addicts,” “The parents don't know how to discipline,” “The parents were not paying enough attention and should have been able to prevent or stop the addiction,” or “He’s just a bad kid.” These assumptions may isolate families and prevent them from seeking treatment both for the teen and themselves.

There are few things more painful for a parent than to realize they have no control over their child’s addiction. They see their child dangling from a cliff and can’t pull them up. Just because a teen is under age 18 does not guarantee that a parent has control over getting them into treatment. I have worked with parents who have tried everything, have been told by professionals that their parenting is to blame and told In Recovery Magazine

they need to take a militant stance with their child.

The fact is, a teen can be facing a myriad of punishments and even legal consequences and still continue using. Addiction is not a moral issue; it is a compulsive behavior.

Teens learn the cycle of pleasure, action, reaction, repeat.

It has also been found that the consistent use of alcohol and drugs during adolescence interferes with brain development. The portion of a teen’s brain that controls impulsivity is not fully developed, yet the brain circuits that reinforce repeated use are in overdrive. Adolescents do not yet have the self-regulatory ability of adults.

Any activity that increases the amount of dopamine channeled through the brain tends to be appealing and can heighten Fall 2016

a teen’s arousal template, which leads to the pursuit of that “feel good” feeling and often to subsequent addiction.

Aside from this neurological predisposition for impulsive behavior, teens may also have other underlying causes for addiction.

Addiction can be a symptom of a bigger issue. With teens, there is typically some degree of trauma or attachment wounds. This could be a high-level trauma, such as grief and loss or the trauma of emotional, verbal, physical or sexual abuse. Other teens experience lower-level traumas, such as divorce, peer pressure, bullying or academic struggles. Regardless, adolescents are negatively affected and their sense of identity and self is damaged. Most often, they use a substance to self-soothe, a form of trauma-blocking that numbs the brain because they are not developmentally equipped to cope with and move through the trauma.

Treatment According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), drug overdoses are among the top causes of deaths in teens 15 to 19 years old.

Despite the fact that teen addiction has reached an all-time high, the resources for quality addiction treatment for teens are few and far between. There are many obstacles to accessing treatment, including insurance restrictions, affordability and the availability of services. Resources are often difficult to locate and frequently fail to adequately address the underlying issues of teen addiction.

use and life within a subculture of addicts, and if they return home stripped of their drug of choice and that identity, teens are more prone to relapse. The young person must be taught not only to be drug free, but also how to live a recovery lifestyle. By looking within and learning to recover not only from the intake of drugs, but from what led to their use, these young people can begin to feel whole again and to enjoy a new life in recovery.

Addiction is a family disease. The family as a whole needs to heal with support and treatment. They need to redefine their family system as they learn to become a healthy family. An effective program will have a comprehensive treatment team working with the family to identify and treat the underlying issues surrounding the adolescent’s drug use. These professionals assist the family in healing from the trauma they suffered while having an addicted adolescent in the home. They address the associated trauma, whether it came before the addiction or as a result of an active addiction lifestyle.

Finally, aftercare is necessary for both the family and the adolescent so they can continue the journey they began during treatment.

Recovery is a process, not an overnight cure. Teen treatment is about healing and learning new tools with which to face difficult life experiences.

Leigh Kolodny-Kraft, LCADC, CSAT-C, CCTP, SAP, CCGC, ICADC, is the founder and Executive Director of The Kraft Group Inc. in Florham Park, NJ. She was honored with the 2014 NAADAC Counselor of the Year Award.

Leigh@thekraftgroupinc.org

In the past, programs have approached teen treatment from an adult treatment perspective, with substance use or defiance disorders being the primary focus. Teens in treatment were often subject to confrontational programs using an in-your-face mentality and a strictly Twelve Step philosophy. Their addiction was viewed as opposition, and parents were viewed and judged as being at fault.

Teens come into treatment with a myriad of issues, including self harm, anxiety, trauma, depression, substance abuse, eating disorders, sexual acting out and compulsive sexual behavior. While the Twelve Steps or SMART Recovery are important components of treatment, an effective treatment program must provide an eclectic approach grounded in attachment theory and utilizing a variety of treatment modalities. Some of these approaches include Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Dialectical Behavior Therapy, Motivational Interviewing, Somatic Experience and EMDR. These can be augmented with therapeutic techniques such as experiential therapy, art therapy and guided imagery. Teens get bored easily and need creative approaches to treatment. It is important to have highly-trained and sophisticated clinical staff, skilled in working with both the teen and the family.

Blueprints Recovery F o r

Arizona Long-Term Drug Treatment Facility

Long-Term Young Adult Male Treatment Comprehensive 3-Phase Approach Most Insurance Accepted

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A program for teens should include trauma treatment in a genderspecific environment to avoid the distractions caused by teenage hormones. It must help these young addicts redefine themselves – addiction is not who they are. They need to develop their core self, as this development was interrupted by their active addiction.

Let Blueprints For Recovery Help By Calling

(888) 391-9772

www.blueprintsforrecovery.com

In treatment, it is common to see addicts, especially teens, segregating themselves according to their particular drug of choice.

Their recovery must be as much a part of their identity as was their former addiction. If their entire identity revolved around their drug Fall 2016

In Recovery Magazine

49

MY

NAME IS...

by Anna E.

50

In Recovery Magazine

Fall 2016

I'M FOUR. My name is Precious because everyone loves my blue eyes and blond hair.

I'M FIVE. My name is Home Schooled because my mom wants me home.

I'M SIX. My new name is Sad because I can't stop crying

My name reads Such-a-Waste because some day I could be class valedictorian if I put in even a minimal effort.

I'M SEVEN. I'm known by the name Attitude because I

Now I’m Pothead out in the open because I smoke weed, but I don't mind this. It's Hangs-With-a-Bad-Group-ofFriends because they do pills. I do them occasionally, but it'll never be a problem, I swear.

in school. Crying at home just makes the yelling worse. get smart with my teachers.

I'M EIGHT. My name is now New Girl because we keep moving. I never stay in the same school for long.

I'M NINE. Now my name is The Good One because my older brother has a drug problem.

I'M TEN. My name is Weird because I can't seem to make friends.

I'M ELEVEN. I go by the name Problem Child because I

can't keep my mouth shut. Already I don't want to finish school.

I'M TWELVE. I’m now jeeringly called Annoying because I talk too much. So I stop talking.

I'M THIRTEEN. At school, my name is whispered Ugly

and Anorexic because we don't have enough money for food or nice things. At home, my name has changed to What-the-Hell-Do-You-Think-You're Doing! because the boy who lives down the road is perfection and I love him, so I sneak out at night to see his pretty face.

I'M FOURTEEN. My name is New Girl for the umpteenth time because we moved AGAIN. My name resonates as Weird because I'm gawky, and I like to dye my hair bright colors. Even though they shouldn't be my worries, I just like adding some color to the dull monotony of crappy houses and piles of bills that make up my life. My name is devolving. Once it was What-a-Cute-Little-Girl, then it was What-Pretty-Eyes, now it has transformed to Darling-What's-the-Matter?

I'M FIFTEEN. I don't have to tell you my name is Emo,

because I have cuts on my body that make me feel better.

My name sings out as Lost-in-the-Clouds because what my life lacks in the real world, my mind supplies in fantasies. Soon, though no one knows it yet, my name is Pothead because that boy I loved shows me how much better it is to be high on pot than to just mentally be in the clouds.

My name is Liar because my mother is so overprotective that to do anything, I have to lie. It's Where-Did-AllYour-Money-Go? because even though she doesn't know it yet, it all went to my weed man's pocket, and then to his weed man's pocket and so on.

Fall 2016

I'M SIXTEEN. The girls scream my name as Slut because their boyfriends want me because puberty has made me attractive. My name seductively curls around the boys’ lips as Jailbait because since my braces came off, I look nineteen, not sixteen.

In Recovery Magazine

My name is diagnosed as Clinically Depressed because I can't get out of bed some mornings. In my mother's eyes, my name is Needs-to-Slow-Down, because I'm doing more pills – they're not a problem, I swear. And then Thief, because I stole money from my mom to put something up my nose – it's still really not a problem.

The nurses write Poor-Little-Girl on my chart because I was rushed to the hospital to pump out whatever I took this morning.

My name is written in stone as No-Future when I declare I want to be a famous rapper. It’s Wild because I'll try any kind of high to get away from my life. Although my teachers won't say it out loud, my name is Worthless because I'm failing my junior year.

My name is Disappointment because I smoke. It’s an embarrassment because my mom was such a good parent – how did this happen? My therapist calls me Daddy Issues ‘cuz, yeah, I don't live with mine anymore, and my last boyfriend was ten years older than me.

My birth certificate now reads I-Don't-Understand-HerAnymore because my mom was never a bad kid like me.

It reads Addict because I need pills not to feel sick. I live up to the name Long Sleeves because I can't show my track marks in school. My name is Crisis because I was so high, I face-planted at school last week.

I'm only sixteen. My name is Will-She-Even-Be-AliveNext-Year because I might not be.

I'M SEVENTEEN. My name is mine again because in

the past few months I grew up, got help and ditched the drugs and the friends who accompanied them. My name is Healthy because when I quit the pills, guess what? I put on weight. My name – no longer whispered or jeered – is Glowing since I'm finally happy because my face has cleared up and I'm no longer a sickly shade of green.

I'M SEVENTEEN! Today my name is Hope because

although I am far from perfect, I am learning that I can change my life for the better.

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STOP

We n eed a We m national mo us the d t insist on vement. eva ch will n station in ange, or ev o involv er stop. P ur country le e many d. There a ase get r much deaths and e too suffer too ing.

THE PILL-PUSHING!

O

n my business card is a quote by Edmund Burke that reads, “All that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing.”

I founded Stop the Organized Pill Pushers NOW (StoppNow) nonprofit organization as a result of caring for drug-addicted babies while I was a neonatal intensive care nurse at a children's hospital in Broward County, Florida. In years past, we had an addicted baby once in a while. All of a sudden our unit was filled with these babies.

It was bad. You couldn’t feed them. They were in withdrawal.

At that time, there were 150 pain clinics (pill mills) in Broward County alone and almost 1,000 in the state of Florida. Of the top dispensing doctors in the United States, 98 percent were in Florida.

A 2010 law now prevents doctors from dispensing narcotics. But those same doctors are still here, only now they just write the prescriptions.

Six months after creating StoppNow, our supporters began holding peaceful protests in front of pill mills. As we began to gain momentum, we started receiving communications from parents who had lost children to prescription drug overdoses. We also held protests at meetings of the Board of Medicine, whose responsibility it is to prevent this kind of epidemic. In our opinion, the solution was quite simple: no pill-pushing doctor, no pill mill.

On a state level, StoppNow is supporting legislation that will mandate the Prescription Drug Monitoring Program (PDMP).

While the American Medical Association and the Florida Medical Association recommend that doctors use the PDMP, they fall short by not supporting states to mandate the PDMP. For example, in Florida, it is not mandatory for prescribers to use the PDMP before writing a prescription for an opiate. In the 20 states across the country that have enacted the mandate, this tool has proven effective in saving lives.

StoppNow is grateful to Dr. Thomas Frieden, Director of the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), for his work in this realm. Thanks to Dr. Frieden’s dedicated efforts, in March of 2016, the CDC released twelve guidelines for the prescriber. It is our hope that states will follow these guidelines and pass them into law.

In 2014, the CDC website noted, “The United States is in the midst of an opioid overdose epidemic. Opioids (including prescription opioid pain relievers and heroin) killed more than 28,000 people

Unfortunately, the actions that have been taken are still not sufficient to curb this trend. Doctors with a history of prescribing an excessive amount of narcotics are still allowed to maintain their licenses. As a result, we are facing a physician-prescribed epidemic.

StoppNow is trying to bring about legislation that will effect greater change in the prescription drug overdose crisis than we have seen thus far.

The federal Hospital Consumer Assessment of Healthcare Providers and Systems survey contains 21 patient perspectives on care and patient rating items that encompass nine key topics, one of which is pain management. The three questions relating to pain directly affect hospital reimbursement. These three questions can and do create an environment of overprescribing. Federal bills S2758 and HR4499, both now in congressional committees, would remove these questions from governmental oversight. Should these bills pass, this would be a step in the right direction.

52

In Recovery Magazine

Fall 2016

in 2014, more than any year on record. At least half of all opioid overdose deaths involve a prescription opioid.” Of course, these death statistics do not encompass the entire number of deaths caused by opioid abuse. Many people have lost their lives while under the influence of opiates, but their deaths were linked to other causes, including suicide, a motor vehicle accident, or other complications.

The heroin problem in Florida’s Broward County has reached dangerously high levels. Most heroin addicts say they started their drug use with a pain pill. Recent Florida legislation allows for the administration of Naloxone, a drug antagonist for narcotics used in the instance of an overdose. Miami has also recently set up a pilot program for a syringe exchange. If we want to solve the heroin problem, we must also solve the opioid problem.

Associated problems with opioid addiction and abuse continue to multiply, including rising HIV and Hepatitis C outbreaks due to needle sharing, overdoses and deaths. As far as StoppNow is concerned, there is no one entity doing enough to get to the root of the problem: the manufacturing and dispensing of synthetic opiates. Administering Naloxone and having needle exchange programs are necessary. However, though important, these are still just stopgap measures. They place a bandage on the surface of the problem rather than resolving the issue at its source.

When I met with Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA) representatives at their headquarters in Arlington, Virginia, I learned that the DEA monitors and approves the level of opiate production. According to the DEA, in 2012 there was an increase of 1,747 percent in opioid production since 1996, the year Oxycontin first came on the market. They also explained that production amounts are determined by a formula based on the amounts of opioids produced in the prior year. I contend that since the rise in production is linked to the rise in deaths (over 28,000 deaths in 2011), the DEA must revise their formula to respond to the opioid epidemic.

I have also met with senators and congressmen, who consistently tell me about the calls they receive from people in pain who cannot get their prescription medication; however, the statistics out there would indicate that there are plenty of pills available. Perhaps part of the problem is in making sure these pills are accessible to those who truly need them and not as readily available to everyone else.

Christian Approach, Proven Results Life Transformation Recovery is the #1 Christian, non-profit addiction treatment center in Northern Arizona.

Our program encourages clients to grow in their faith as they grow in sobriety.

We offer comprehensive recovery services from the time clients stop using until they reintegrate back into society.

We need a national movement. We must insist on change, or the devastation in our country will never stop. There are too many deaths and too much suffering. Please get involved. The drug companies are powerful lobbyists. Call your state and federal representatives.

Our services include: • Men’s residential treatment • Sober living • Outpatient addiction treatment (IOP) • Transitional Living • Nutrition management • Gym onsite • Freedom to practice your faith • Regular group and outdoor activities

Sometimes I feel like David fighting Goliath, but you know who won that fight! Fewer pills = fewer deaths.

Janet Colbert is a graduate of Barry University in Miami, where she earned dual degrees: Bachelor of Science in Nursing and Bachelor of Professional Studies. StoppNow has been featured on CNN and WSVN, in the Miami Herald, the Sun Sentinel, The Kentucky Journal and The Guardian. Colbert is currently in the process of writing a book called StoppNow. www.stoppnow.com

Fall 2016

For more information: (928) 515-0044 • Admissions: (928) 515-0066 www.lifetransformationrecovery.com

In Recovery Magazine

53

Adolescent Recovery: INGREDIENTS FOR SUCCESS

by Craig LaSeur

Getting clean and sober is seldom easy, and it can be even more difficult for a teenager.

Recovery doesn’t happen overnight, especially when it comes to adolescents.

G

etting clean and sober is seldom easy, and it can be even more difficult for a teenager. I believe it is possible for an adolescent to achieve a successful recovery with a team effort. It is important for the adolescent, parents, clinicians and the recovery community to work together to make this happen.

Though adolescents can be a challenging population to treat, working with young people is both a sacred duty and an honor. It is important to set high expectations and not simply focus on just “beating the addiction.” Teens need to be equipped to succeed in all aspects of life; abstinence from drugs and alcohol is not enough.

Building a successful treatment relationship can be difficult in the wake of denial, a common symptom of addiction. It is necessary to understand the immediate needs of the adolescent, while also keeping an eye on future needs.

54

One of the most rewarding elements of working with adolescents is that when they “get it,” they frequently “get it big.” Not only do they achieve sobriety and remain abstinent, but many also become exceptional citizens as they complete school, participate in a positive way in their family life, and demonstrate a spirit of service in all they do.

An example of one such teen was Tony, who was admitted into treatment at the age of 16. He had a stable home life and family, went to great schools and had a bright future, until he became involved with drugs.

His drug use and associated behavior ultimately landed him in a psychiatric ward, where an assessment revealed that he needed chemical dependency treatment. Scared and unsure of his future, Tony agreed to treatment with the help and support of his parents.

In Recovery Magazine

Fall 2016

In treatment, Tony participated in group and individual therapy, learned about addiction and was introduced to Twelve Step recovery principles and the Twelve Step community. This same formula is successfully employed in many addiction programs around the world.

One crucial ingredient to Tony’s successful recovery was a trusting relationship between the treatment providers, Tony’s support system (his parents) and Tony himself. This relationship began with honest communication as the treatment team got to know both Tony and his family.

An in-house family program was where the real progress began.

This program allowed each member of Tony’s family to be heard, to receive the same information, and to begin to trust each other.

The goal of a family program is to provide a structured, accountable environment where all parties learn progressive autonomy as they are educated about personal boundaries and communication and are given an opportunity to begin practicing them.

Putting this education into practice was essential. Tony’s parents understood what was at stake and were willing to take action.

They began by communicating their concern, love and support for Tony, followed by learning to set helpful, yet firm boundaries that supported Tony’s recovery.

Because Tony’s high school and social environments were not conducive to recovery, he was encouraged to participate in a program that would support his recovery and meet his educational needs upon completion of primary treatment. He was admitted to a long-term program that allowed him to finish high school and develop life and recovery skills designed to assist him as he moved on to college.

While clinical milestones were important, helping Tony develop a strong sense of community and connection to other people in recovery for ongoing support was critical. While the initial exposure to a Twelve Step recovery program was essential to his early recovery, the secret to success was continued outreach and followup. Frequent check-ins allowed clinical staff to gauge his progress, as well as to ensure his attendance at Twelve Step meetings.

Fortunately, Tony found the fellowship of the Twelve Step network inviting, and he related to those in attendance. He soon obtained a sponsor and completed the Twelve Steps.

Break free with courage, With all your inner strength.

Break free with Valor.

Our Program Offers: • Residential Program • Intensive Outpatient • Full Service Detox • Upscale Residential Home • Family Therapy • Relapse Prevention • EMDR • Group Therapy • Individual Therapy

• Yoga • Meditation • Acupuncture • Music/Art Therapy • Equine Therapy • Hypnotherapy • Life Coaching • Daily Trips to Gym • Weekend Outings

V A LO R B E HA V IO R A L HE A LTHC A R E : A D D IC TIO FIR ST FU LL SE R V IC E , LO N G-TE R M SU B STA N C FA C ILITY IN SC O TTSD A LE , A R IZ O N A A N D THE O F THE U N ITE D STA TE S. V A LO R PR O V ID E S A PPR O A C H TO R E C O V E R Y FO C U SIN G O N PO E FFE C TIV E M E THO D S O F SU B STA N C E A B U SE

N TR E A TM E N T IS THE E A B U SE TR E A TM E N T SO U THW E ST R E GIO N A SA FE A N D U N IQ U E W E R FU L, SA FE A N D TR E A TM E N T.

Today, Tony is engaged to be married, has recently completed his second year of medical school, and is still involved in his own recovery. He works with individuals new to treatment and helps them navigate the Twelve Steps.

The long-term changes most recovering adolescents experience usually occur after they have moved on from a primary treatment facility. With a skilled clinical team, a solid foundation of personal clinical work, a positive experience with the Twelve Step community, and a support network built on trust and integrity, success stories like Tony’s are commonplace.

Craig LaSeur has a Master’s Degree in Addiction Studies and has worked with individuals on the road to recovery for over a decade. He is the clinical director at a substance abuse treatment facility for teens in Opelousas, Louisiana, called New Beginnings Adolescent Recovery Center. http://newbeginningsteenhelp.com

Fall 2016

In Recovery Magazine

C all U s Today!

Sco sdale Rd., Ste 2 Sco sdale, 2 1- - LOR www. alorBehavioral.com 1

55

Save Our

Children

by Carin Miller

O

ur story began as so many others have; it was the beginning of a nightmare I wasn't expecting and for which I was not prepared to handle. For the last 17 years, I have lived and breathed the Percocet and heroin addiction of my loved ones; as a wife and mother, I could never give up on them.

In a complete fog, I went through these long, dark days of addiction with Greg, my husband of 32 years, and my now 27-year-old son, Lucas. At first I thought I was alone, and I tried to hide their illness from my family and friends, thinking I could fix my family members before anyone found out. Unfortunately, this path wasted precious time; and, in reality, hindered their recovery. Today, I tell our story to anyone who will listen.

Our Trauma Our tale of addiction was a constant battle from the start – a daily life-and-death battle – although I didn’t realize it at the time.

Addiction is a family disease; everyone gets to participate. I soon

56

discovered that at any given time, the repercussions of this terrible disease could hit with a vengeance.

At first I was clueless, until my husband’s addiction slowly began tearing apart the very fabric of our family. All the symptoms were right in front of me – the missing money, the lies, the manipulation – yet it took awhile for me to understand that he had a progressive, chronic, deadly disease.

Several years later, my kindhearted, innocent, wonderful, loving, generous son found the same ugly path. Sadly, he took it a step further. When the pills became difficult to procure, he turned to heroin and eventually began to inject it.

How could I save my family in the midst of all this turmoil? Daily life was unbearable. We were all tormented by this demon drug. My daily fight was heart-wrenching, as I attempted to save my family of six and to rescue my two very ill loved ones. Every waking moment was a nightmare. The whirlwind spun us all into a hurricane-force storm, and I mounted a war.

In Recovery Magazine

Fall 2016

My Relief Several years ago, I realized I was fighting a losing battle – I was fighting with them, instead of fighting for them. I had to save my husband, my son and my family, but my way wasn’t working.

Slowly, I began to research addiction, asking questions of anyone who might have answers. I educated myself about the many facets of the disease of addiction. I was determined not to let this scourge steal the lives of my family or anyone else's family, for that matter. With every ounce of my energy, I began advocating for myself and for other victims of this deadly malady.

I am one of the fortunate ones. Today, I live with two family members in recovery. Our family disease is currently in remission, though I keep my guard up because recovery from this disease is a "one day at a time" and "just for today" process. Today, I have peace and serenity in my life, and I owe this to my faith, my support system and my advocacy work.

Together, we testify at the state level on related legislative bills, volunteer at our local health departments and advocate within our board of education. MHAA representatives are educated about Naloxone (Narcan), the lifesaving overdose reversal medication.

Some go on to teach this method of treating overdoses.

We navigate a maze of barriers as we work to save lives and reduce the stigma of addiction. We are committed to establishing better access to substance abuse treatment, comprehensive aftercare and needle exchange programs. We have touched the lives of thousands of people statewide and beyond.

The strongest men and women I've ever met stand beside me in the battle of our lives, as we work together to Save Our Children.

Through strength and diligence, we will prevail.

The Battle Is On! Family support is imperative for those families who suffer from their loved ones’ disease of addiction. I knew I somehow had to set up a shield for myself, my family and my community. Over two years ago, I founded a family peer support group within my community called Save Our Children (SOC) that offers support, education and resources for healing and maintaining a healthy way of life.

Carin Miller is the founder of Save Our Children Peer Family Support Group and president of the Maryland Heroin Awareness Advocates. She has touched thousands of lives with her advocacy for individuals and families caught in the heroin and prescription painkiller epidemic. www.mdheroinawareness.wix.com/maryland

I watch new families – most broken and battered – join our group and gradually transform into educated, strong, supportive families.

As we grow together, the strides we make are miraculous. As we learn to take care of ourselves and survive our loved ones’ disease, our lives transform. I am reminded of my own pain as I see others grappling with theirs. It breaks my heart, but I know if they continue to do the work, they will eventually overcome their anguish as I have.

Because of the success of the SOC family peer support group, we are in the process of starting several new groups in area communities.

Churches talk about our group in their Sunday sermons. Local clergy members, town councils and mayors ask us how we can help their towns, and area health departments request our assistance.

We offer our help, learned through the pain and suffering we have endured.

I am also the president and co-founder of a statewide organization called the Maryland Heroin Awareness Advocates (MHAA). Our organization is raising awareness, offering services, resources and education, prevention measures and fundraising. MHAA has 20 county chapter representatives who advocate within their communities.

Fall 2016

In Recovery Magazine

57

The Author’s Café

by Catherine Townsend-Lyon

T

he Reverend Dr. Kevin T. Coughlin, Ph.D., or Rev Kev, as most call him, is the founder and director of New Beginning Ministry, Inc., an evidence-based, Twelve Step residential addiction recovery program for adults in Pennsylvania.

For over 19 years, he has helped thousands of people change their lives. Coughlin has been in long-term recovery and is a devout believer in the Twelve Step Program. He has seen firsthand how this process transforms lives, including his own and those of his family.

An addiction expert, interventionist, writer, author, poet, podcaster, recovery coach and blogger, Coughlin has enjoyed writing addiction and recovery guides and workbooks. His new release, Addictions: What all Parents Need to Know to Survive the Drug Epidemic, is a little different. This important piece of work is available as an eBook and paperback.

Coughlin began writing when an individual he was mentoring overdosed at age 19. “Out of the pain from that [experience], I started writing first poetry, then articles, then books,” he explained.

“I feel proud of [my latest book]. I wanted to help parents have an in-depth view of drugs and how they are impacting our communities.” Coughlin hopes this book might just save the lives of others’ sons or daughters.

In his spare time, Coughlin finds balance as a competitive powerlifter. He is a nine-time national champion and two-time world champion. www.revkevsrecoveryworld.com

S

teve Hauptman, a Gestalt-trained, Buddhist-flavored therapist with a 20-year practice on Long Island, New York, is an author and cartoonist with a great sense of humor.

The first book in The Monkeytraps series, Monkeytraps: Why Everybody Tries to Control Everything and How We Can Stop, is now available on Amazon. He is currently working on the second volume of the series.

Hauptman grew up in an alcoholic family, which inspired his career as a control addict. He spent his younger years struggling with anxiety and depression, and then tried everything most recovering codependents try: therapy, medication, reading, self-help. “It wasn't until I began studying the idea of control that I understood what was making me miserable and what to do about it.”

Hauptman taught college writing. He began using writing as personal therapy and started teaching others to do the same. When he became a therapist, writing was a natural way to explore what he hoped to teach about control. “I once heard about how hunters in Africa catch monkeys by tempting them to trap themselves. It was a perfect metaphor for human control addiction.”

Those familiar with the idea of codependency will find it easy to relate to Monkeytraps.

Hauptman wrote it for anyone who is unhappy, anxious, depressed, addicted, struggling with relationships or parenting, and doesn't understand why.

This book offers both a new way to explain all of the problems related to addiction and a new way to heal them.

“Bert, my inner monkey, is my favorite character in my book,” Hauptman shared. “He's the part of me that tries to control stuff he can't or shouldn't control. We've been together a long time. I don't always like him, but he did make the book possible.”

When I asked Hauptman if he had any unique talents or hobbies, he replied,

“I make a pretty good hummus.” https://monkeytraps.wordpress.com

58

In Recovery Magazine

Fall 2016

“Mending Individuals, Healing Families” • • • • • • •

Trauma sensitive approach to treatment Holistic gardening and nutrition program Brain basics education and training Swimming, yoga, meditation and excursions EMDR and Neuro-biofeedback Life skills & Recovery Support Teams Serving males 18+

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Prescott Valley, Arizona

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Family.

Job. Money.

Fall 2016

In Recovery Magazine

Just how much are you willing to lose?

1-800-NEXT-STEP problemgambling.az.gov

59

Body TALK

by Victoria Abel

PRIORITIES I recently made some major life decisions about priorities, decisions that will help me put my money where my mouth is. I decided that I had to make choices for what would be best for me in the big picture, even if it meant sacrificing some habits that were enjoyable but not necessarily good for me. Priorities are especially important in new recovery. For me, I have found that spending money on healthy food is a priority.

In addition to the expenses of rent/mortgage, transportation and insurance, the average American spends about 13 percent of their income on food. This is a significant amount of money. It is estimated that almost half of this food money is spent on eating out, takeout and fast food delivery. If cooking at home became a priority, people could save a considerable amount of money and afford better quality food.

I often hear people complaining about the price of food, yet statistics show that Americans pay almost 20 percent less for food than they did 25 years ago. Many people also choose to spend money on extras, such as cigarettes, caffeinated beverages and energy drinks, which add up to a lot of money every month.

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Pack-a-day cigarettes

$49.00 per week

One energy drink a day

$7.50 per week

One coke or coffee a day

$17.00 per week

TOTAL

$73.50 per week

What if instead of spending money on items that are unhealthy, Americans spent their hard-earned money on high-quality food?

What would a $73 meal plan look like? Here at the Center for Nutrition, we have developed a free meal plan that anyone can use. Following these recommendations, my staff went to a local grocery store and priced an entire week’s menu.

In Recovery Magazine

Fall 2016

IT LOOKED LIKE THIS: Eggs Bread Butter/oil Spinach 1 big Greek salad Fruit Almonds Chicken Corn tortillas Black beans Brown rice Salad dressing Ground beef Salsa Cheese Pasta Frozen vegetables Avocado Oatmeal Milk Tuna Hummus Carrots

$3.00 $3.50 $3.00 $5.00 $4.50 $5.00 $3.00 $5.00 $2.50 $2.00 $2.50 $3.00 $5.00 $3.00 $3.00 $3.50 $3.00 $2.00 $3.00 $2.50 $2.00 $3.00 $1.00

“Healing relationships with food.”

Develop and present nutritional programs and educational lectures at treatment centers.

One on one nutritional consultation, meal planning, weight management, and assessment for disordered eating.

Nutrition and supplementation to ease detox, stabilize mood and reduce cravings.

Personal health priorities are essential. In lieu of meeting your friend for coffee, where you might spend $5.00 on a mocha drink and a cookie, you could meet for a hike and bring water. Is your priority an energy drink? You could drink water, save the money you spend on energy drinks, and get a $10 monthly gym membership.

The first trick to setting healthy priorities is making a budget.

Find out how much you spend in a month. Goodbudget is one of many free apps that can help you get a realistic picture of what you are spending and what you are getting. What are the percentages you spend on housing, insurance, utilities, cell phone, groceries, restaurants, transportation, recreation, health and beauty items?

The results may surprise you.

You can make your own health a higher priority. The food you buy could be organic and healthier for you without costing you an arm and a leg. Check out the recent list of the fruits, vegetables and meats that are best bought organic at www.ewg.org.

Where can you change some of your habits to put you and recovery first?

Victoria Abel, MA, MNT, is the founder and owner of Center for Addiction Nutrition. She has worked in the addiction counseling field for 20 years as a family, primary and trauma therapist. She is also a nutrition and eating disorders therapist who works with people recovering from addiction, mood disorders, cancer and other chronic illnesses. She teaches at Prescott College in Prescott, Arizona, and lectures nationally on addiction nutrition. She may be contacted by email at vabel@cannutrition.com. www.centerforaddictionnutrition.com

Fall 2016

Instruction on budgeting, shopping and cooking.

TESTIMONIAL

“Victoria helped me to manage the daily struggles of meal planning and grocery shopping - the mundane tasks we all must do. I am grateful for those things but am mostly grateful for the caring way in which she operates. I have lived in so much shame for as long as I can remember regarding anything to do with food. Victoria let me cry and was always genuinely interested in what was going on with me. We would talk about the things that seemed to have nothing to do with food but in fact were leading me to binge, purge, or starve myself.

Victoria has been an incredible light in my life - she was always so accepting of me - no matter if I had a good or bad food week.”

See the last February, 2014 issue of the New York Times and the Summer, 2014 issue of In Recovery Magazine for more informaton on CAN Nutrition and Recovery.

Victoria Abel MA, MNT, CAN

vabel@cannutrition.com www.centerforaddictionnutrition.com

In Recovery Magazine

61

Sober L Scholars: Arizona’s

Response to Recovery on

Campus

by Elizabeth Athens

Picture yourself as a student on a college campus where the expectation to party is virtually embedded in student culture.

For many years, students in recovery have often felt they had to choose between an education and their ongoing sobriety.

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eah stood at a crossroad. After several attempts at recovery, she was able to accumulate over two years of consistent sobriety and was looking at her future.

A two-time college dropout, primarily due to her addiction, Leah’s thoughts of returning to college filled her with equal parts of excitement and terror. In Leah’s words, “My addiction was born on a college campus, and I fear that it’s waiting for me there . . . waiting for me to fail again.”

Leah’s experience is common; just about everyone has heard such a story, and some have lived it. For students in recovery, the pull to be in school, whether motivated by passion, family expectation or to keep up with the status quo, can be complicated when the campus feels like a minefield. Picture yourself as that college student on a campus where the expectation to party is virtually embedded in student culture. For many years, students in recovery have often felt they had to choose between an education and their ongoing sobriety.

Luckily, Leah enrolled in a college with a collegiate recovery community (CRC) program as a part of its services to students. As she transitioned back into the life of a college student, her connection with peers also in recovery proved to be essential.

Recovering students on the East Coast were the first to begin finding support on campus. In the 1970s and 1980s, both Brown and Rutgers Universities began formally addressing these students’ needs by offering sober housing and on-campus self-help meetings, and counseling as needed. The schools identified the need to connect recovering students with each other as a way to develop natural supports, and to provide recreational and educational activities.

These on-campus services allowed students to focus on their academics and still have a true college experience. It placed emphasis on their recovery with an understanding that if students do not find a balance between their academic and recovery lives, they run the risk of losing both.

In Recovery Magazine

Fall 2016

What Students Say When asked about the benefits of collegiate recovery support, students often say it made all the difference.

Kiley M., a 23-year-old graduate of the University of Denver, struggled with drinking during her first few years in college and had to take a medical withdrawal during her junior year. When it was time to go back to college, her anxiety almost got the best of her. “I didn’t think putting myself in uncomfortable situations like classes was worth the effort,” Kiley shared.

Her attempt at college was again unsuccessful.

Luckily, a trip to treatment was enough to stabilize her addiction symptoms, and admittance to the TreeHouse Learning Community, a CRC program in Arizona, provided the support she needed. Living with other students in a recovery-oriented environment, her anxiety subsided.

Joey, currently a student and part of the TreeHouse Learning Community, reported that even when he was using, he was a pretty good student. However, addiction did its thing, and Joey soon found himself in a long-term treatment program in Scottsdale, Arizona.

As Joey thought about what was next, he knew he would not manifest his dreams of becoming a lawyer if he ended up stuck in a menial job. It was vital for him to do something meaningful right away. “I needed to be back in school in order to keep my momentum and motivation,” he confided.

Arizona is consistently near the bottom of the list for education spending per student, and reports a higherthan-average substance use problem among students. So it was exciting when Arizona’s newly-elected governor allocated start-up funds to each of the three state universities to create collegiate recovery programs.

Fall 2016

Karen Moses, the director of wellness programs at Arizona State University, shared her excitement over what this means for students.

“A college degree and a life of recovery are both important to advancing optimal outcomes for young people who have struggled with addiction. The college environment includes many stressors, responsibilities and social situations that students must learn to navigate during their transition to adult life. These factors can trigger relapse if a system is not in place to support students who are in recovery from an addiction.”

Inclusion, Safety and Support Collegiate recovery programs provide equal focus on inclusion, safety and support elements. When the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) was passed in 1990, it opened the doors for students in the throes of active addiction, as well as those struggling with the challenges of early recovery, to receive support and classroom accommodations.

Students with substance abuse issues, whether in recovery or not, can benefit from services that provide entry and access to academic supports. Oncampus academic support can make students feel more comfortable as they navigate a campus riddled with potential challenges. Joining a sober study group, where they are sure no one will suggest a post-study beer run or offer them a “study drug,” such as Vivance or Adderall, provides needed support to a newly-abstinent student.

With drug overdoses claiming the top spot in adult accidental deaths, CRCs provide an environment where peers and professionals will notice a stressed student and can provide swift intervention when necessary.

Many CRCs partner with other departments on campus that tend to see troubled students. The public safety department, student health, counseling services and the disability resource In Recovery Magazine

centers can all be supportive when students are struggling.

Perhaps most importantly, CRC programs provide ways for students to meet up with and support others in recovery. Social events, sober study groups and self-help groups on or near campus have proven to be the “secret sauce” of a positive student experience.

They make a difference by allowing students to have a normal college experience with both academic and recovery success.

Leah, Kiley and Joey, along with thousands of others participating in CRC programs, have a higher retention rate and an almost 30 percent higher graduation rate than the general college student population.

With only 3 percent of campuses nationwide offering services specifically for recovering students, much more needs to be done to make campuses recovery-ready.

Liz Athens is a person in longterm recovery and an addictions specialist living and working in Arizona. She has seen the life-changing effect of recovery on young people, and believes they can have a transformative experience while they pursue academic goals.

Liz works in both academic and treatment settings where she encourages recovering people to work toward achieving educational and career goals.

Collegiate Recovery Makes Fiscal Sense 43 percent of students in recovery said they enrolled at their university because is had a collegiate recovery community, and would not have enrolled otherwise.

Thinking of starting a collegiate recovery program on your campus?

Checks out these links for more information: www.transformingyouthrecovery.org http://collegiaterecovery.org/ starting-a-collegiate-recovery-program/ www.depts.ttu.edu/hs/csa/docs/Intro.pdf 63

MY

by Chris Burns

LIFE

LOOKED PERFECT College, where independence and experimentation intersect, can be a nearly impossible environment in which to live a sober life.

On the outside, my life looked perfect; but for more than 15 years, I had been living a lie. I nearly lost everything due to an addiction that I hid from everyone, including myself. I was driving the people who loved me out of my life. With the help of my faith and a solid support group of family and friends, I was gradually able to put the pieces back together; I have been sober and working my program of recovery ever since.

My name is Chris Burns, and I am a recovering addict, a University of Central Florida (UCF) student, a husband and a dad. My passion is helping others who struggle with addiction, specifically students in recovery. Why students? Well, the short answer is because I am both a student and in recovery. College is a place where independence and experimentation intersect; it can also be a nearly impossible environment in which to live a sober life. I know firsthand just how hard it can be, and I appreciate the opportunities that the UCF Student Development and Enrollment Services leadership has given me to share my recovery story and help other students find support for their own problems.

I’m in the master’s of social work program, and I intern with UCF Student Health Services, specifically working with students who have, or are at risk for developing, a substance use disorder. Nationwide, in any given month, nearly half (42 percent) of full-time college and university students, ages 18 to 22, binge drink or abuse prescription/illegal drugs. Of those students, a whopping 22.9 percent meet the diagnostic criteria for substance abuse. Shocking, right?

Yes, there are addicts and alcoholics on every college campus in America, but the stigma surrounding recovery often creates a huge impediment for students needing support. Consequently, many students will never admit they need help for an alcohol or drug problem.

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Equally disturbing are some estimates that show one in 66 college students is either actively in recovery or looking for recovery resources.

At UCF, that translates into roughly 700 to 800 students who otherwise might feel they had no place to identify as being in recovery. Research shows that investing in these students makes sense on many levels; this has been my experience as well.

Over the past five semesters, I have poured my heart into solidifying and growing the UCF Collegiate Recovery Community (CRC). The CRC@ UCF is a safe, authentic community that supports students in their recovery. It helps to ensure that on this campus, no students struggling with an addiction will feel as though they are on their own.

We now have campus Al-Anon meetings on Monday nights, Alcoholics Anonymous meetings on Tuesday nights, Narcotics Anonymous meetings on Wednesday nights and Sober Knights, a group of UCF students of all ages who like to have fun without alcohol, which meets every Thursday.

This is just the beginning.

When I think about how a collegiate recovery community could have helped me when I was working on my undergrad degree – how it could have changed the trajectory of my life – I know this work is important. It matters that much.

If you are a student struggling with addiction or are currently in recovery, you are not alone. There are collegiate recovery communities like CRC@ UFC around the country that support both recovery and academic excellence. Find one that fits for you. Your future and your life could depend on it.

In Recovery Magazine

Fall 2016

Chris Burns graduated from UCF this past August with a master’s degree in social work. He has over four years of sobriety. He grew up in San Jose, California, and moved to Florida in 2001. Chris and his wife, Christy, were married in 2009 and have three amazing children – London, McKinley and Garrison. Chris enjoys writing music and working on carpentry projects that his wife finds on Pinterest. https://shs.sdes.ucf.edu/crc

Fall 2016

In Recovery Magazine

65

7

"I coined the phrase “paperwork virus”™ for any kind of sloppy recordkeeping or poor organizing habits that cause distress in our homes and lives. From receipt-keeping to bill-paying, from coupon mailers to school schedules, this sneaky virus is quite contagious."

ways to be paper smart

Organizing, filing and keeping track of it all.

Danielle Wurth of Wurth Organizing, LLC

As a business owner and mother, juggling home, office and family life under one roof, I wage battle in the organizing arena every day. However, by having a flexible and foolproof organizing system, I am able to keep my desk clear and my talented team on task as we encourage our clutter-busting clients to follow suit.

Paperless Payments

The Master Gatekeeper

Too much mail in your mailbox?

Select one non-negotiable bill category that must be paid on time, such as rent or mortgage.

When registering for paperless bill pay, make sure to deselect advertisements that are sometimes included whether you asked to receive them or not. Create a vendor folder on your computer, where you store paperless statements. Digitally file each statement as soon as it arrives.

Rename the document by vendor, month and year for easy tagging, for example, Bank of America-Mortgage-October 2016. Archiving email statements is also a smart move since most service companies only keep client records on file for two years. Better to rely on your recordkeeping over theirs, especially with today’s high stakes hacking.

Once the “paperwork virus”™ has invaded your home, you’re in for more work. This virus doesn’t come rolling into your home on wheels in the middle of the night; it has to be brought in by someone.

To immunize yourself against this virus, your choices are clear: read it, share it, maintain it, file it, shred it, clean it, discard it or donate it. Awareness is the first step of a Master Gatekeeper – awareness of what you absolutely must bring into the home, and what you elect to leave outside. You have more power than you realize, and it’s time to use it.

Pass It On

Hybrid-Style System

Take a pass on keeping receipts that serve no purpose. Cash payments for consumables such as coffee and donuts are not reflected on future bank statements, nor are they tax deductible, unless you run a business and claim it as an entertainment expense. So, there’s no purpose in keeping those receipts. You drank the coffee and ate the donut. These are goods you will definitely not be returning to the shop owner. Only keep receipts for nonconsumables and items you purchased with debit or credit cards for month-end reconciling.

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Think of bank statements as a snapshot of a month’s transactions. Grab your receipts and double-check the items reflected on the statement. Then, scan the statement with your written notes and related receipts.

Place the entire PDF document in a monthly financial file, and shred the paper once the process is complete.

This hybrid method includes both a paper statement for notetaking and a paperless filing system once the reconciled documents are scanned. It is imperative to carefully review all your statements; fraud and accounting errors can be easily prevented by becoming a more conscious consumer.

You worked hard for your money; now, keep track of your transactions so your funds don’t slip through your fingers and into the hands of another.

In Recovery Magazine

Fall 2016

APP OPTIONS Considering the paperless plunge? Transition one category at a time, selecting an app you can use for each tax category expense. If going digital doesn’t fit your habit or lifestyle, you can easily rewind back to your former method of recordkeeping.

Receipts On-The-Go Use a friendly, on-the-go receiptkeeping system to avoid clutter and confusion, and use it consistently.

Cumbersome and bulky simply won’t work. Think simple and streamlined. If you prefer a wallet, place receipts in the same section, every single time. If you prefer a pocket in your purse or satchel, make sure it has a secure snap or a zipper closure. A small mesh zipper pouch is a nice mobile alternative.

Be open-minded; try a few systems until you nail one down that works for you.

• Shoeboxed (Android, Apple – free): Scan receipts using your phone's camera, and the app will extract the info for easier organization. If you use QuickBooks or Excel, you can easily export your data.

• Expensify (Android, Apple, Windows Phone – free): Automatically create reports from receipt photos; track working hours to mileage using GPS or a photo of your car's odometer. Want to connect with your bank account and credit card? Expensify can do that, too, even if you don’t get a receipt. Lastly, it's compatible with major accounting software for easy month-end reports.

"If your receipt-keeping system requires too much work to work it, then immediately implement a more efficient system to conserve your time and energy." – Danielle Wurth Counter Recording Next time a cashier hands you a receipt, step aside and let all the impatient people in line have their turn while you take ten seconds to review it for errors. Sort through the coupons or promotions you were given; if they aren’t something you can use, discard promptly.

If it’s a receipt you need to keep, grab a pen and circle the date, the total and the name of the credit card. Write the tax category at the top: gas, school supplies, medical expenses or donations.

Those ten seconds at the counter will save you ten hours at tax time and make your end-of-month statement reconciling a breeze.

Simplify your life! Create budget-friendly organizational systems by: maximizing any space within your business, home or garage. transitioning with success vs. stress in your recovery process utilizing your own psyche for better long-term organizational results. simplifying papers and possessions to bring joy, not sorrow.

Accessing our hands-on organizing, Skype sessions or interactive speaking events.

Danielle Wurth is a professional organizer and speaker. She is the owner of Wurth Organizing, LLC, a professional organizing company in Scottsdale, Arizona, which transforms families with hands-on organizing sessions and events. In addition, Wurth is an exclusive Arizona Brand Partner of The Container Store and has been a contributor to Real Simple Magazine, Fox 10 News, Channel 3 Good Morning Arizona, 1360 KPXQ Faith Talk Radio and The Arizona Republic. You may contact her by phone at 602.579.5274 or by email at danielle@wurthorganizing.com THESE ORGANIZING SERVICES MAY BE A TAX-DEDUCTIBLE CONSULTING EXPENSE

Connect with Danielle to get started!

Fall 2016

In Recovery Magazine

67

Kay’s Kitchen: Happily Ever After

by Kay Luckett

“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.”

– e.e. cummings

I

started smoking at age nine, drinking at age 12, and using drugs at age 19. I sobered up at age 52. What I did during all the years in between was a mystery to me, until I was sentenced to a Twelve Step program. The first clue to this mystery surfaced when I wrote my autobiographical Fourth Step, which I read to my sponsor during my Fifth Step. I found I had written a pretty spicy story.

I wrote about a 20-something-year-old who used needles in Berkeley, hung out with Hells Angels in Oakland, danced naked on Broadway in San Francisco, married a meth chemist in Marin County, hitchhiked to Alaska, and then became a back-to-theland hippie in Taos.

“Every saint has a past and every ‘sinner’ has a future.”

— Oscar Wilde Even with the mystery of those many years, I can recall many emotions. I remember feeling hopeless and having nothing but regrets. I recall feeling shame about how I was wasting my life. I saw myself as a failure and could find absolutely no purpose for living. People were slowly discovering Twelve Step programs, but it was still mostly the dark ages of addiction and recovery. The help and knowledge we have now simply wasn’t available.

I was treated as a person who knew she could make the right choices but chose not to, rather than a young person who had become confused, miserable and addicted and felt powerless in their life. I offered myself to the world as shutdown, defiant, angry and delusional – the proverbial rebel without a cause.

At age 38, I discovered Twelve Step programs and began my recovery pilgrimage. I moved through every back door program I qualified for. I began with a program for debtors and then tried programs for adult children of alcoholics, codependents, compulsive eaters and love addiction. Finally, I found my home in programs that dealt directly with drug and alcohol recovery.

My journey was solidified during the Fifth Step I mentioned above, when I had my “moment of clarity.” I suddenly knew, without any doubts, that I was truly an addict and alcoholic and that I needed help. As I read my true story to myself, my sponsor and to my God, I knew that at age 52, I had begun the journey of a lifetime.

“It is never too late to live happily ever after.”

— Unknown

Now, 18 sober years later, I feel gratitude and a sense of purpose in being of love

and service; it has released me from the “bondage of self.” I know I am here to help others, and my story is the vehicle for communication and a way to share commonality with others in need.

I work in a treatment facility where I meet versions of my young self every day, individuals who are shutdown, defiant, angry and delusional – rebels without anything to live for. Every day, I see these courageous young people face their issues and traumas, including their anger, low self-esteem and other feelings they tried to numb out with alcohol or drugs. I see them come alive and morph into who they are meant to be: intelligent, passionate, selfaware and service-oriented young people.

As they awaken in recovery, many of these individuals go back to school, discovering and rediscovering their natural talents in art, science, humanities and human services studies. They dance and perform and create and grow as they help others find their way.

Where I work, we celebrate the completion of treatment by having a commencement ceremony to acknowledge the start of the graduates’ new lives. We eat cake, because what’s a celebration without cake?

To assist us all in celebrating the gift of recovery, I offer you my recipe for homemade carrot cake.

Enjoy, and keep coming back.

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In Recovery Magazine

Fall 2016

The Three-Minute Chocolate

Not My Hour ~ An original poem written by a young woman in treatment ~

“Cupped” Cake

What if I don’t see tomorrow?

Will I just drown in all my sorrow?

Feeling so empty inside.

Will I keep running and hide?

Or will I stay and face my fears?

Let everyone see these endless tears.

Will I stay and fight this fight?

Straighten up and get myself right?

Will I reach out and ask for help?

For me, that’s the biggest step.

Turning my life completely over in order to keep healthy and sober.

I’m turning it over to my Higher Power, for now it’s His time and not my hour.

4 Tbs flour 4 Tbs sugar 2 Tbs cocoa powder 1 egg 3 Tbs milk 3 Tbs oil ¼ tsp vanilla 4 Tbs chocolate chips (or white chocolate) One large coffee cup or mug (must be microwaveable) Mix dry ingredients and place in mug. Mix wet ingredients, pour into mug and mix well. Mix in chocolate chips. Cook for 3-5 minutes in microwave. The cake may rise over the top of the mug.

Allow the cupped cake to cool a bit, then unmold onto a plate or eat right out of the mug. Careful, it may be HOT.

Kay Luckett has been in recovery since 1997. She facilitates educational groups for Promise Recovery Center and teaches at the Yavapai College Community Education Program in Prescott, Arizona. She is the former owner of Memorable Occasions in Los Angeles, where for over 20 years, she produced and catered events while drunk. Luckett is a certified life coach and may be reached for coaching appointments at 928.499.5027. www.monarchlifecoach.com

Enjoy!

Read Kay’s column in this issue of IRM! Fall 2016

In Recovery Magazine

69

SURRENDER

by Chris Freeman

The drugs and booze were not responsible for the destruction in my life. What caused the harm was my merciless obsession and corrupted idea that I could use without consequence.

ubstance use disorders are such tricky adversaries. They take their greatest toll and cause the most damage when we are totally abstaining – clean and sober.

S

The drugs and booze were not responsible for the destruction in my life. What caused the harm was my merciless obsession and corrupted idea that I could use without consequence. This time it will be different; I can handle it; I just won’t use; I just won’t drink.

I came into the rooms of recovery many years ago; in fact, I attended my first recovery meeting 37 years ago in 1979. Since that time, I have attended thousands of Twelve Step meetings. I would love to say I have 37 years of clean and sober time, but that would be dishonest. What I do have is 30 years out of those 37 spent trying over and over to do the impossible – stay sober.

Just what do I mean by that?

70

In the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, author Bill Wilson writes about a farmer who comes up out of his storm shelter after a storm. Although the farmhouse has been destroyed by the fury of the twister, the farmer looks to the clear skies and sees that the tornado has passed. He turns to his wife and says, “Don’t see anything the matter here, Ma. Ain’t it grand the wind stopped blowin’?”

Then Bill gets to the truth of the matter. “We feel a man ‘unthinking’ when he says sobriety is enough.”

The history of my addiction and alcoholism involved obsession, a preoccupation that drove me into oblivion and landed me wherever it wanted to, whenever it wanted to. I can only describe it as insanity.

When I was using and drinking all of my efforts in life were just in

In Recovery Magazine

Fall 2016

doing that – drinking and using. I was totally engaged and had an extra supply of zeal in doing so. When I drank or used, I exhibited a passion, a fire, a certain kind of insane devotion, enthusiasm and eagerness. I was driven by an appetite that could never be satisfied.

While drinking or using, I also exhibited a great sense of urgency.

At anytime and anywhere, I was willing to do, say, feel, think, act, lie, steal, embezzle, convince, con, spend, forge, deal, perpetrate, cajole and manipulate anything or anyone, including myself, to meet the need for the next hit, drink or fix.

the power to stop the thought that a drink will not be harmful the next time.” The powerlessness of addiction and alcoholism is not what occurs after we drink or use. What happens after we use is just a reaction – a chemical reaction caused by the adulterants introduced into our bodies. The powerlessness of alcoholism and addiction is the condition that exists in us before we nourish our desires.

When using I would never just consume a portion of my supply; I would consume it all. There would be nothing left but an incessant hunger for more, more, more.

My abuse of alcohol and drugs left an unrelenting footprint on my soul. They were my masters. I was a slave to their cunning grip as they squeezed my soul and spirit into worthless dust, blowing them in all directions and removing every hope and dream until there was no more love or comfort; only terror, pain and misery. Even while attempting to stay sober, I would suffer.

Our main problem, says the Big Book, is that “we do not possess

If you're reading this and it sounds somewhat familiar, I have great

Fall 2016

In Recovery Magazine

71

news for you. Stopping drinking and using might not be your problem. You may have stopped many times, over and over again, as I did in my younger years. Your problem may actually be how to stop and stay stopped, once and for all.

I tried a hundred techniques and formulas to gain control, and failed at every attempt.

I ruined the hopes and dreams of those who loved me, and took advantage of everyone that offered assistance. The Big Book refers to this as the “insidious insanity of the first drink.”

I lamented each time I failed, “What is wrong with me? Why can’t I get this thing?

Why can’t I stay sober? Why can’t I stop sticking needles in my arm? How can I ever be happy? Why can’t you just leave me alone? Why does this keep happening?

Why do I want to die?”

Finally, I ran into some folks who were not afraid to tell me the truth. The process was explained to me. If I were to put forth the same effort and zeal engaging my recovery

as I had engaged my addictions. I could enjoy the same peace and happiness they were experiencing; all I needed to do was to let go of my old ideas and open my mind to a new way of thinking. I was given a new path to follow that eventually provided me with all of that and much more.

My friends told of their surrender, a givingin process, where they conceded the fight.

Their guidance led me to an understanding of the truth about myself. If I were to have an honest desire and pay the price, I could also find recovery.

Today, I live each day with a desire, hope, meaning and purpose. I go all day long without the thought of drinking or using.

But even more miraculous is that I don’t even think about how I am not going to drink or use. Wow. Don’t think about drinking, and don’t think about not drinking. My problem has been removed.

Just because the wind quit blowing doesn’t mean the storm is over. It seems that when

we quit, the problems should go away and we should be able to regain our status in life, but this is not so. What is needed is my daily participation in my own recovery.

If you're still struggling with addiction or alcoholism, we have an answer for you.

Just be ready to engage 100 percent in your recovery. Please seek us out. We are everywhere – in every town, state, province and country. My name is Chris, and I am a recovered drug addict and alcoholic. I stand ready to help 24/7/365.

Chris Freeman is a recovery advocate and media outreach, blogger, content developer and writes for several organizations in the recovery community, contributing to several recovery sites and publications. Chris is the founder and lead designer of the SOBERCOMMAND website. He also is a recovery program consultant at TRT Sober Living in Houston, Texas. http://sobercommand1.wix.com/sober-command-1

Call for Stories Our magazine fills up fast! We must assign your work to a specific issue at least one month prior to issue deadlines. Writing, art and photography submissions must be received by the deadlines below.

ISSUE Spring Summer Fall Winter

PUBLICATION DATE March 1st June 1st September 1st December 1st

SUBMISSIONS DEADLINE November 1st February 1st May 1st August 1st

See submission guidelines on our website. Email queries to editor@inrecoverymagazine.com.

Spring 2017 – Decriminalization of Casual Drug Use; Criminal Justice Issues in Recovery; Why Are Program Owners Worried?

What are your views on the pros and cons regarding the decriminalization of marijuana and other drugs? Have you had experience with drug court and/or restorative justice programs. What are the legal issues facing treatment programs in your area? Please send us your 900- to 1,200-word narrative.

Deadline: November 1, 2016

Summer 2017 – Gambling Addiction; Music Therapy Do you have a family member who is addicted to gambling? We’d love to hear your story. We’d particularly like some articles from Gam-Anon members. Do you provide music therapy for the recovery community?

Tell us what you do and how it works. Please send us your 900- to 1,200-word narrative.

Deadline: February 1, 2017

72

Fall 2017 – Domestic Violence; Fetal Alcohol Syndrome; Women’s issues

Calling all domestic violence shelters! We know you have stories to tell.

Fetal alcohol syndrome is a hidden epidemic in the drug and alcohol addiction world. Please share your personal stories or professional expertise with us. Please send us your 900- to 1,200-word narrative.

Deadline: February 1, 2017

Winter 2017 – Harms Reduction Pros and Cons; Therapeutic Value of Animals

Does your program work from a harms reduction POV? Does it work?

Did you receive treatment in a harms reduction setting? Share your experience with the use of therapeutic animals in addiction and mental illness recovery. Please send us your 900- to 1,200-word narrative.

Deadline: August 1, 2017

In Recovery Magazine

Fall 2016

“My practice is now able to prescribe healthy alternative medications to recovery patients on-site. Americeuticals offers a convenient, streamlined approval technology and we participate in the prescription revenue”.

I was able to get off the harmful narcotics by using one of these alternatives which are just as effective. I feel so much better and I was able to kick my addiction.

GENDER MATTERS IN RECOVERY. MEN AND WOMEN OFTEN ENTER INTO ADDICTION FOR DIFFERENT REASONS and recovery is most successful when you’e able to address the underlying issues in a gender responsive program. See what happens when you build a new campus around the most contemporary ideas in addiction treatment.

RECOVERY CAN MEAN MANY THINGS. HERE, IT MEANS FINDING YOUR TRUE NORTH. LakeviewHealth.com/findanswers or call 866.314.5750

Fall 2016

In Recovery Magazine

73

THE

ASSASSIN P

by Jana Greene

eople in recovery amaze me.

They are among my very favorite people because they often have a high compassion level coupled with a low judgment level. One of my friends, J., is like that. He is brave and in love with Jesus in a way that scours clean the complications of sobriety and salvation. When I meet such a person, I feel I can scale that difficult pillar of recovery – rigorous honesty.

I emailed J. today, “Do you know where I can hit a meeting tonight?” He immediately emailed back, “What’s up?”

I told him I’d been struggling. The past few months have been particularly emotional and crazy . . . a cruel mixture of both extreme change and the boredom of mediocrity. I’m not sleeping well. I’m cranky about things that are out of my control; and, on top of it all, I’m experiencing health challenges.

My kids are grown now, and my purpose has shifted. I feel depression tugging on my sleeve and anxiety has a stranglehold on me. All the while, I’m feeling guilty because THIS IS NOT WHAT TRUSTING LOOKS LIKE. And in the midst of emotional turmoil, smooth and serpentine thoughts slithered into my head. I’m just going to move, I told myself, my emotions rising. I’m going to move far away from here and leave everything and go where nobody knows I’m an alcoholic.

And I’m going to drink. I’m going to have a whole bottle of wine. What very alcoholic thoughts!

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Lose it and leave – a moment in time followed by heaps of shame just to gain an hour of oblivion, just to be out of my skin for a temporary stay, perhaps not even an hour. That thought – that skilled assassin poised on the edge of my clean time – was ready and willing to take my sobriety.

Never mind that God has graced me with 14 very good sober years.

Never mind that my life is by all accounts – including mine – a really good life.

Never mind that I’ve cultivated friendships and recovery partners.

Never mind that I would have died had I not gotten into recovery in 2001.

How cunning and baffling the disease of addiction is. You can be trucking along, and BAM! That's why we must vigilantly be on our guard.

I told J. about my assassin thought. I thought about glossing over the messier points, but I finally shared my heart honestly. I figure that assassins who are called out into the open are less likely to fire off a clean shot.

“I know exactly how you feel,” he wrote.

“I’ve had those same thoughts and I wasn’t even really in a bad place or anything. My mind just always defaults back to my old ways. The good news is you are aware of it and want to get to a meeting.”

Assassination averted.

Addiction has a sort of timelessness to it. A day can be a thousand years and a thousand years can be a day. For that reason, I don’t rely on “clean time” to keep me clean. I rely on Christ and on others walking the same path – others who are willing to say, “What’s up?”

So, I’m sharing honestly with you because there is healing and fellowship in vulnerability. I’m in a messy place, but I won’t always be in a messy place. While I'm in the midst of it, I stay put.

I will gather with my tribe and drink coffee in fellowship halls, asking God for help, just as I have for 14 years, knowing that He will help me every time. He has not dropped me on my ass yet, even as I often try to evade His grasp. I will use God’s written word to resist temptation.

He knows exactly how I’m feeling and doesn’t love me any less, emotional basket case that I may be. I’m sure of that.

Jana Greene is a Jesus freak, wife, mother, recovering alcoholic, author and blogger at thebeggarsbakery. com. In 2001, she surrendered her will to Jesus and still surrenders on a daily basis.

She writes to let others know where to find the Bread of Life. She lives with her husband, daughters and kitty cats in North Carolina.

TheBeggarsBakery.net

It is a fact of chemistry that we addicts are wired differently. Our default is so often to continue the old behaviors that never worked in the first place. Rigorous honesty can be tough.

"I told J. about my assassin thought. I thought about glossing over the messier points, but I finally shared my heart honestly. I figure that assassins who are called out into the open are less likely to get off a clean shot."

This Is How It Works "Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves . . . At some of these we balked. We thought we could find an easier, softer way.

But we could not. With all the earnestness at our command, we beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the very start.

Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely.

Remember that we deal with alcohol – cunning, baffling, powerful! Without help it is too much for us. But there is One who has all power – that One is God. May you find Him now!

Half measures availed us nothing.

We stood at the turning point.

We asked His protection and care with complete abandon." – AA Big Book (pg. 58)

J. continued, “The best possible news any of us can hear is that we have Jesus.

He completely understands our struggle because He came here and went through it. That is the only reason I still have hope.”

Fall 2016

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Fall 2016

HARD WAS THE FALL

BY ALEX OUTLAW

"If you, too, have been telling your conscience that you are unworthy of achieving lasting sobriety, let me remind you of something. You can choose to pick yourself up and sustain the strength, knowledge and limitless capacity for the happiness you so desire."

Right now, some of you may see yourselves as hopeless addicts who are longing for the circumstances you should have had and perhaps blaming others for your life situation. You may have convinced yourself you will never get any further in life or be any better off than you are right now. Maybe you are unknowingly seeking outside approval of your lifestyle to avoid changing within.

In my experience, after the physical symptoms of withdrawal ceased a long recovery period would ensue. Facing the destruction of my life through sober eyes and with no seeming way to make myself whole, it was necessary to confront the addiction that had wreaked havoc in my life. I knew if I didn’t, I damn sure couldn't heal! I first had to listen to the inner voice begging me to change and urging me to wake up – the voice telling me I had abandoned the most sacred parts of my soul.

I finally understood that if I was honestly committed to my recovery, I had to face the truth – quick fixes and band-aid solutions wouldn’t work anymore. I realized that I was responsible for the damage I had caused in my own life, and I was responsible for healing it. The diligent effort and hard work I put in transformed my life in amazing ways, but it hurt like hell as my grieving ran its course.

Newly sober, I had to figure out who I was and why I was here. No one could answer these questions for me. It helped to go back to the beginning where my breakdown had begun.

When had I abandoned myself? When and why had I given up on myself? Why was I ashamed of feeling hurt by others’ actions? Why did I allow others to treat me poorly, and why did I invite such people into my life?

An understanding of those unanswered questions came to me quite unexpectedly. I came across an interview of Jungian analyst Fall 2016

Donald Kalsched by Daniela Sieff, entitled The Unanswered Questions of the Wounded Psyche.

In it, Kalsched stated that every reaction by, or self-encompassed thought of, a person feeling empty or hopeless was their inner child acting out because they never had the opportunity, insight or knowledge to properly heal their wounded mind.

For lasting sobriety, Kalsched believed this inner child must be heard, nourished and soothed. If we are to mature after being stunted by pain and shame, we have to become a strong protector and parent to this child. We must become the parent we so desperately needed as children but may never have had – one capable of helping our inner child put aside the tendency to act out negatively for attention, reassuring the child that feelings of sadness are normal and that the harm done to them had nothing to do with who they were as a person. One who could help the child trust again.

The untreated wounds to my inner child were causing my grandiose temper tantrums. By using my drug of choice, I tuned out and ignored, if not silenced, my grief. Kalsched explained that by experiencing true grief, I could coax my hurting child out of hiding.

I imagined my inner child as a hurt and battered little girl in a dark and lonely prison guarded by fear and distorted perceptions of reality. I found her dressed in black, hiding her broken heart. I broke through the prison doors, cradled her in my arms, let her know she was safe and that I would protect her no matter what.

My desire to remain "safe" by using old thought patterns, examples of impending or past failure, and the annihilation of my feelings, confirmed the lie that I wasn’t worth the effort and should give up.

My negative self-talk had nothing new to say and had to be silenced. I discovered I had to be vigilant and fight it with fervor so my fragile, healing inner child would be able to trust me and not disappear again. I had to fight for my own honor that I felt I had lost through my immoral behavior during my addiction. Once I regained my virtue and swore to defend it, I worked to destroy the damaged thinking patterns that convinced me I had no right to peace and fortitude in the first place.

I had been the most codependent and angry individual you could have met, but because I decided to change my negative self-talk and image, today I am healing, my family is happy and my children are thriving. To help my children to realize their fullest potential, I realized I had to have faith in myself. My children have seen that although people falter, they can pick themselves up and be stronger than ever before.

I am honorable, I have virtue, I am worthy of all I want out of life. I alone had the strength to climb out of the dark hole I was drowning in. I faced my addiction and won!

If you are telling yourself that you are unworthy of achieving lasting sobriety, let me remind you of something. You can choose to pick yourself up and sustain the strength, knowledge and limitless capacity for the happiness you so desire.

Alex Outlaw is a recovering addict of almost four years. For over ten years, she was crippled by addiction to prescription painkillers and Xanax. She is a writer, wife and mother of two. Her life is dedicated to uplifting others struggling with addiction. thesoberaddict.com

I had been settling for less than I deserved, convincing myself that the lies toxic people told about me or to me were true. I was the judge who sentenced myself to suffering. I was the manipulative liar who encouraged my false sense of self and unworthiness.

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How to Choose a REHAB Program "If you are ready to take the first step toward recovery from addiction, it is essential to find the treatment facility that best meets your needs."

If you are ready to take the first step toward recovery from addiction, it is essential to find the treatment facility that best meets your needs. Keep reading to learn how to make the right choice.

Entering rehabilitation for substance abuse is one of the most important steps on your path to recovery. Even though you have overcome a major obstacle simply by making the choice to seek help, you still must find the treatment program most likely to meet your individual needs. The following suggestions will provide you with critical information needed to choose the proper rehabilitation program for you.

Start With the Basics Because of its importance, take time to consider the geographical impact of a facility before making a choice. When considering a rehabilitation program, location is an essential factor. For some addicts, choosing a facility far from home helps them separate themselves both physically and mentally from an unhealthy environment. If you do decide to move away for rehabilitation, make sure the facility will assist 78

you in choosing aftercare programs in your area for when you return home. If you choose to stay near the facility after treatment, make sure a permanent move to that area is feasible.

Being nearby close friends and family can be a positive factor for some addicts’ ultimate success.

Many facilities welcome family counseling sessions during the recovery process. If the facility is close to home, you may choose to visit the site before making the choice to stay there.

Before committing to that location, a facility tour can help ensure your comfort with the physical surroundings.

A key consideration is the cost of the program and the state of your personal finances. In order to ensure coverage, talk with your insurance company before making a final decision. Ask the treatment facility to provide you with an approximate length of stay, and make certain your financial situation is in order for that time period. If you will be taking on all or part of the financial obligation, talk to the facility about their programs, policies and financial aid packages, if any. Don’t choose a rehab that will immediately kick you out if your insurer abruptly stops paying; be sure to read all the fine print.

Speak with the intake coordinator regarding their specific approach to motivating the addict In Recovery Magazine

by Per Wickstrom

to recognize their need for help. Just because you have made the decision to enter rehabilitation does not mean you have admitted to having an addiction. A comprehensive curriculum will help you understand and recognize your need for treatment.

Be Comfortable With Their Programs and Philosophy Make sure the facility of your choice is ready and willing to work with you toward an effective recovery. Essentially, the program you choose should be flexible and must care about your unique needs and goals. I believe that in order to be successful, a rehabilitation treatment program must be tailored to each individual’s personal needs.

Each rehabilitation center embraces its own, sometimes unique, philosophy. If, for instance, you prefer a religious perspective, be sure the facility offers such a program. Typically, a facility’s philosophical methodology is posted on their website and is easily accessible. If not, contact the program for an explanation of their approach.

Different treatment facilities utilize different types of therapy. Ask for information about their therapeutic milieu, and have them explain Fall 2016

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Check out the center’s social media pages and read reviews from graduates and family members of graduates. This inside information, whether positive or negative, can be an essential part of making the right choice. Research independent evaluation sources including the

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Per Wickstrom is the president and founder of several residential drug and alcohol rehabilitation programs in Michigan and southwestern Indiana. Wickstrom’s rehabilitation centers focus on helping people beat their addiction through holistic and natural methods.

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For any other questions or to discuss treatment options, contact a professional in your area or online who can help you take the first steps toward getting treatment. This is a crucial step toward the happy, healthy life you desire – a life free from the bondage of addiction.

Don’t miss a single issue of In Recovery Magazine.

Inspiring stories, informative articles and dozens of resources fill the pages.

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Explore the aftercare programs offered – these can be key to a successful recovery. Find out how the facility transitions clients back into the “real world” after successfully completing their program. Learn what other resources are available after graduation and under what conditions they will accept someone back in the instance of a relapse after treatment. If you are hoping to get a job or enter school upon completion of the program, make certain staff can facilitate training for interviews or placement.

Attend support group meetings, such as Alcoholics Anonymous and Al-Anon, to hear the stories of recovering individuals and glean important information about the rehabilitation facilities they or their loved ones may have attended. By getting a firsthand review, you can be more confident that the choice you make is the right one for you.

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Ask about their full line of treatment options. Today, many rehabilitation facilities offer unique and effective programs, such as massage, art or music therapy, equine therapy and fitness programs. Remember, each addict’s journey to recovery is different. The best way to find the rehab facility that will work for you is to explore all possible options. In addition, find out what medical options are available during your stay, including medical diagnosis, detoxification, medication and pain management, and psychiatric treatment. Ask if they have medical staff on site; and if so, what type.

state’s department of behavioral health reviews. Doing a bit of online research can give you a better understanding of the program’s reputation.

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what it entails. Here are some examples: a Twelve Step model, a Hazelton approach, cognitive behavioral therapy, motivation enhancement, Rational Recovery, Rational Emotive Therapy and others. Make certain the facility and its staff members are appropriately licensed and adequately experienced to perform the specific type of therapeutic intervention offered.

If you feel uncomfortable with the approach, find another treatment center.

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In Recovery Magazine is looking for individuals and organizations around the world who go above and beyond in the name of RECOVERY. Contact us today and tell us your story.

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There’s a Craze Sweeping the Nation . . .

The Adult Coloring Book Craze!

In Recovery Magazine is joining the craze with our very own adult coloring books.

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WAYS TO CONVINCE AN ADDICT TO GET HELP

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BY STAN POPOVICH

"For a variety of reasons, many do not find it easy to turn to others for assistance.

Here are six ways to convince a person to seek the help they need in order to recover."

In Recovery Magazine

Fall 2016

There are many reasons people struggling with addiction do not get the help they need. Many addicts and others who suffer from depression, anxiety and other mental health issues refuse to seek help. It is often difficult for family members to find assistance for their loved ones, especially when in the midst of a crisis.

I was fortunate. When I began my own fight with fear and anxiety the first thing I did was seek help from a mental health professional. I realized I had to educate myself about the available strategies in order to learn how to effectively deal with my fears.

For a variety of reasons, many do not find it easy to turn to others for assistance. Here are six ways to convince a person to seek the help they need in order to recover.

The first thing I learned is to talk with the person, not at them. No one likes to be lectured and no one wants to be talked to as if they were a child. Talking with the person is very important. Be honest with them and tell them that it will require some hard work on their part, but that they can get better. If they don't get help, they will suffer. It they are scared and need help in overcoming their fears, you will have a better chance of getting through if you address possible solutions for their fears.

Hopefully, you will be able to get through to the person. The key is persistence. Be very persistent.

Use the services of a mental health professional or former addict. Find a mental health professional or even a former addict to talk with the person. This is similar to the prior suggestion; however, instead of warning the person, these professionals can use their skills to reason with the person. There are many trained recovering individuals who can use a proactive approach to convince the addict to get help. The goal is to reason with the person and encourage them to seek professional help.

Because these individuals were once in the same situation, these experts can talk from personal experience and are often more credible to the person who is struggling.

Getting help. I have realized from my own experiences with my fears and anxieties and through researching that you must persevere in your attempts to assist your loved one in getting the help they need. I also recommend having the person’s family and friends pray for them. Involving God in your current situation can sometimes produce unexpected positive results. Again, don’t give up. Persistence is the key. The solution to successfully helping your loved one might just be around the next corner.

Stan Popovich is a Penn State graduate and the author of A Layman's Guide to Managing Fear Using Psychology, Christianity and Nonresistant Methods. He has struggled with fear and anxiety for over 20 years and, as a layman, uses his experiences to help others with their fear and anxieties. Stan also writes on mental health topics for various publications. www.managingfear.com

Determine why the person doesn’t want help. They may be fearful, frustrated, or maybe don’t feel they need help.

Have the person list their three main reasons for refusing treatment on a piece of paper. Take this list to a professional and ask them how to address those issues and overcome the barriers, then present these suggestions to the person who came up with the list.

For example, if they have specific fears that prevent them from getting help, they might be more willing if somebody is able to help calm or alleviate those fears. Developing a plan to address their concerns will go a long way in convincing the person to seek help.

Conduct a family intervention. The most popular way to intercede is by conducting a family intervention.

Facilitated by a professional interventionist, family members tell the addict how they love them and wish for them to get help for their problem. The addict is asked to listen quietly as each family member takes a turn to express how special their loved one is to them and how they see the need for them to get help. Hopefully, the loved one becomes convinced of the need for help and is immediately taken to an appropriate treatment facility.

Tell the person what will happen if they do not get help. Find an expert on addiction and have them talk one-on-one with this person. This professional should explain to the addict what will happen if they do not get the treatment they need. This specialist should be clear and direct, holding nothing back, as they warn the person of the dire consequences of not making the necessary changes. The goal is to convince the person to get help before they suffer greater problems and consequences as their addiction or mental illness progresses.

Fall 2016

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In Recovery Magazine

83

Cross Talk

CrossTalk is based on the premise that recovery life is polytely: frequently, complex problem-solving situations characterized by the presence of not one, but several endings. This writing represents decades of recovery and its application to life and how to get over it, into it or through it with spunk, levity and a good dose of reality. What? You want more than happy, joyous and free? Get over it. Just sayin’. – Mollé

Mollé, I think I’m an alcoholic. I’ve been trying to avoid this for what feels like forever, but I can’t any longer. My mom has been sober for almost 18 years, and I hate her because she is everything I don’t want to be. She hasn’t said anything, but she’s acted like she thinks I’m an alcoholic, too.

I’ve been waking up and not knowing how I got there. My boyfriend has bailed, and my friends say I’m out of control and no longer want to go out with me. The police almost took me to jail last night.

I’m not sure what to do. I’m embarrassed. I’m 33, and I can’t face myself anymore. I can’t go to a therapist, and my mom knows everyone in AA, so I’m writing to you. – Hating Mom in SFO Dear Her Mother’s Child, Sounds like the gig is up. If you’ve reached out this far to ask the question, cough, you already know the answer. I don’t believe you found this column by accident. Well, I guess we can call it a spiritual accident. This might be the perfect stepping stone that brings you to a happy rest-of-your-life.

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I cannot tell you how common it is for the child of an alcoholic, especially as they approach the reality of their own alcoholism, to resist and fight violently not to be like their parent. Some do die.

Coming to grips with our own disease can lead us to feel like we hate our parent.

No one can definitively say you are an alcoholic, except you. And it sounds like you just did. Call your mom. She might be able to help in more ways than imaginable.

Dear Mollé, I am struggling with my son’s addiction. No matter what I do, no matter how many treatment centers I pay for, he can’t seem to pull it together.

When he first got clean, he wanted to go back to school, a school he left under really embarrassing conditions. I helped pay his rent so he didn’t have to work and could focus on studying. Now, three treatment centers and three colleges later, he is still not clean.

In Recovery Magazine

Fall 2016

My wife is getting frustrated with me. She kicked my son out of the house after he stole her jewelry. She says I enable him and need to show tough love by not helping him anymore. But he’s my son and her stepson. After this last relapse, she won’t talk to him and threatened to leave me if I give him any more money. He’s my son, my only child. Am I really doing too much, or not enough? – Hard Place in Texas Dear Rock, I can hear the pain this is causing both you and your wife.

Sometimes, it is hard to know if we are helping or hurting. When no boundaries are set, it is hard for anyone to know when they’ve crossed them.

I am not a fan of the words “tough love.” I simply call it love. Pure.

Simple. Love. We tell the people we love the truth, the real true; sometimes it takes all we have to tell them the ugly truth.

Being honest with someone else requires that we are first honest with ourselves. As parents of children with addiction, can have (false) pride if they are in successful recovery. On the other hand, we may suffer with a sense of failure, shame or guilt if they are not able to stay clean and sober.

I recommend that you seek out a professional interventionist.

An interventionist is an expert about how best to approach an intervention in your child’s life. And they can identify a role for you that allows you to support your child in the best way possible.

Fall 2016

I also strongly recommend that you get involved with Al-Anon, a program created specifically for people with friends, family or loved ones who have alcoholism or addiction. Getting involved with Al-Anon does not mean attending one or two meetings. It means putting in the tenacious effort to find a good, balanced meeting.

It is also critical that you find and work with a sponsor. Whether or not your son gets clean, he will always be an addict/alcoholic.

Therefore, it is likely you will always need some form of support.

Al-Anon will help you find inner peace despite what may or may not happen with your son.

One more thing. If your son stays in Texas and gets clean, stays clean, and is ready to go back to school on his own, the University of Texas has a great student recovery program on campus: http:// recovery.utexas.edu. There are similar college programs at many student centers around the country. There he’ll find the support he needs to achieve his college goals. He may need this type of support more than he needs money.

Viewpoints shared or any implied actions suggested by Mollé are the opinions and ideas of the author only and do not represent those of In Recovery Magazine.

The implied action is offered openly and is never intended to replace the advice of a healthcare professional. You may send your dilemmas to Mollé at crosstalk@ inrecoverymagazine.com.

In Recovery Magazine

85

Recovering Artists

Booze, Busts and Bees

by Kenneth W. Davis

This morning, I awoke feeling grateful to have avoided a possible tornado during the night. I checked the rain gauge and saw we had only received threequarters of an inch of rain, which quickly turned my gratitude into disappointment for my garden. After almost drought conditions this spring, we needed rain.

Originally from Baton Rouge, Louisiana, I was charged with my first DUI when I was 17 years old and a junior in high school.

Following a movie, I had crashed into the only other car in a large parking lot. At school the following Monday, I went from being a nobody to being the rock star of my high school. My first DUI marked the beginning of a pattern, which eventually led to eleven more alcohol and drug arrests, five of which were DUIs. I graduated from Louisiana State University (LSU), a feat accomplished over five football seasons, two summer schools and two correspondence courses following my last formal semester. I was clearly at “Harvard on the Bayou” to learn how to get by while 86

In Recovery Magazine

drinking every night, picking up girls and avoiding jail time for my DUIs. I began studying photography and art during my last years at LSU and managed to pull my GPA up to 2.4. Following graduation and a summer spent backpacking and drinking through Europe, I moved to New York City to attend the Parsons School of Design.

A professor and owner of Reliable Design offered me some part-time work after graduation. Reliable already had an impressive list of clients, including Lifetime Television, MTV, Showtime, Sony Music and The Whitney Museum of Art, as well as other cable television clients. Working in the entertainment design business was a dream come true. I worked at Reliable for three years until I was told to leave after showing off prescriptions for Valium and Rohypnol, which I obtained in Mexico.

Instead of changing my ways, I launched my own design studio, Devious Design, working with clients including ESPN, Greenpeace and Atlantic Records. Business started off well. After about a year, a friend from Parsons called and asked if I would be interested in working up some designs for the Late Show with David Letterman.

I was thrilled at the opportunity and ecstatic when one of my sketches became the official logo for the national television show. For the next year and a half, my friend and I worked as the senior graphic artists for the show.

Fall 2016

"I decided to try one last geographic change to solve the problem, but I picked the worst place to deal with the situation: Key West, Florida.

Eventually, I found my way back to Baton Rouge, Louisiana."

At the time, my drugs of choice were cocaine and alcohol. In my warped mind, this drug combination, coupled with my natural artistic talent, were a match made in heaven. Because I was an artist, people thought I was just an eccentric guy. My dealer warned me that having cocaine delivered to the theater would cost me my job. He was right. Over a span of several months, my addiction ended both my marriage and my career.

Up, Down and On Top of the World The dot-com craze was booming, and I had a couple of friends in the Bay Area who had been talking about big money opportunities there. I moved and soon found a house near the Pacific Coast's Bluffs. I continued work with a few New York clients and sought accounts locally.

I entered my second marriage, this time to a woman with two children. My hope was that this move and the added responsibility of raising children would lead me to make better choices. It didn’t. My second marriage ended after only a year and a half.

My running joke became, “I only ask for 18 months of a woman’s life.”

Work came to a screeching halt with the events of 9/11. My New York clients dried up. During the ensuing slow period, I began the groundwork for what would be my greatest achievement during my design career: High Tides Magazine.

The first edition of High Tides was launched on July 4, 2002, during an annual town parade. High Tides featured a 1972 Volkswagon minibus repainted and with our logo on the side. It became a local fixture. That day, I procured a group of kids dressed in hula skirts to pass magazines while summer music blasted from the van.

By 1 PM, I was passed out in the back of the van, while my friends continued to celebrate on Main Street.

Fall 2016

The magazine was a success. For the next two years, I kept myself in check by working as hard as I was playing. High Tides Magazine won six awards for excellence in communication from the prestigious national magazine, GraphicDesign: USA. A Second Chance at Life High Tides had a fantastic run, but it was all an illusion. By the end of the second year, my partner in the magazine decided to move on. I, too, was experiencing burnout and some midlife doubts. I was also falling deeper into the depths of alcoholism and drug abuse.

I decided to try one last geographic change to solve the problem, but I picked the worst place to deal with the situation: Key West, Florida.

Eventually I found my way back to Baton Rouge, Louisiana, with a layover at Crossroads Treatment Centre in Antigua, West Indies, where I successfully completed treatment for substance abuse.

In my early sobriety, I was reluctant to return to design work. I also felt a strong desire to help others face their demons.

My first sober job was working at a courtordered inpatient adolescent facility in Baton Rouge. Eight months as a counselorin-training was all I could handle. To continue in this line of work, I realized I would need further education.

In 2010, I began graduate school at Hazelden Betty Ford Graduate School of Addiction Studies. It was an intense oneyear program, which included internships at their world-renowned treatment center in Center City, Minnesota. During this time, I met and married my third and current wife.

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87

Following graduation, I began working at a dual-diagnosis treatment center in Wisconsin. There I counseled clients with substance abuse and co-occurring diagnoses, such as anxiety, depression, bipolar, schizophrenia and personality disorders. This was an intense learning experience, accompanied by high stress.

Art Therapy and Sweet Emotions I was crushed when I was laid off due to economic decisions made by the parent company. Instead of giving up altogether, I used my first ever unemployment checks to attend Adler Graduate School in Minneapolis. There, I was able to merge my knowledge of traditional talk therapy with art therapy. It would prove to be a powerful combination.

After graduation, my wife and I decided to open a private practice in Northwest Arkansas, which we called Sweet Emotions Counseling.

We chose Arkansas because we had a close friend from Hazelden who lived in the area. When the partnership went sour, my wife and I picked up the pieces and moved the business closer to home.

Misfortune struck again when my wife fell off a horse, breaking her femur. The following year was consumed with three surgeries, the last being a total hip replacement. Her recovery tested both of us; not only because of the severity of the injury and her being confined to a wheelchair for eight months, but also from having strong opiates in the house, which were her former drugs of choice.

Our Life with Bees My wife recovered, and we have now been married for seven years.

Our home is in a wooded paradise we affectionately call Mount Jackass Plantation, where we enjoy gardening and Southern cooking. This year, we added beekeeping to the mix. It is truly a life I never dreamt could be possible.

Mine has become a life of many miracles. By the grace of God, I celebrated ten years of sobriety this past May. For a guy like me, that is a miracle.

Kenneth Davis is the co-founder of Sweet Emotions Counseling in Springdale, Arkansas, where he is a master’s level substance abuse counselor and art therapist. www.se-counseling.com and www.deviousdesign.com

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In Recovery Magazine

Fall 2016

The 29th Annual

Cape Cod Symposium on Addictive Disorders September 8 8-11, 11, 2016 // Hyannis, MA The Cape Cod symposium is a primary source of new information and new developments in the field of addiction. It is my most important professional development activity every year. The reputation of the conference seems to just keep getting better and better. See you in September!

Earn up to of continuing education and choose from more than challenging workshops.

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New this year is the heArt and Science of Addiction track, focusing on the application of emerging research in collaboration with NEATTC. With more than 60 challenging workshops and four special focus tracks to choose from, there is something for everyone!

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In Recovery Magazine

Fall 2016

Recovery Today

Our favorite tips and humor for people traipsing the Road of Happy Destiny

Heard at a Meeting The big “I” kills us; the big “WE” saves us.

Insanity: Crazy things look sane.

“Will” and I went out and had a couple of drinks together.

Fear is a denial of my Higher Power’s care and protection.

“In the face of seemingly impossible problems, it is easy to believe that our most negative thoughts reflect the truth. No matter how insistent a feeling may be, it is just a feeling, not a prophecy. We don't get to know today what will happen tomorrow.” – Courage to Change, p. 260

Advertising Index •

Americeuticals.....................................................................73

•

Art of Recovery........................................................................09

•

Bella Monte Recovery..............................................................71

•

Billing Solutions.........................................inside back cover

•

BiocorRX...............................................................................29

•

Big Sky Recovery AZ.............................................................59

•

Blueprints to Recovery............................................................49

•

Cape Cod Symposium............................................................88

•

Calvary Addiction Center.......................................................33

It is clear from studying AA literature that many of the earlier members of the fellowship suffered with addiction to drugs other than alcohol as part of, or as a consequence of, • their illness.

Camelback Recovery...............................................................43

The term “balance” is often mentioned in AA; and from my point of view, this healthy principle should be applied to this emotive issue. Being rigid in relation to drug talk is dogmatic and unhelpful to many. Unfortunately, this is an attitude adopted by some; and for me, is against the inclusive principle of Tradition Three and a rather strict interpretation of Tradition Five.

•

Chapter 5 Recovery.................................................................07

•

Compass Recovery..................................................................11

•

Arizona Office of Problem Gambling.................................59

•

Decision Point Center...........................................inside cover

•

Gwen Henderson Photography.............................................21

•

Hepburn Capital.....................................................................37

Drug Talk In the Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), it is common for some members to object to others mentioning their previous problems with drug addiction. In meetings, it is common to hear the Blue Card Statement read, asking members to keep their shares focused upon their problems relating to alcohol, in accordance with Tradition Five. Because each member’s experience of alcoholism and recovery through the Twelve Steps is personal to them, I believe they should be free to communicate this to others. It’s their message of recovery, and drug addiction may be part of their story as an alcoholic.

•

I believe a middle path is best, one that allows members to be true to themselves and their history yet is mindful in regard to AA’s primary focus on the illness of alcoholism • – addiction to the drug, alcohol. Realistically, alcoholism is a complex condition and • involves strong relationships with other human difficulties – all of which are valid to • discuss in AA meetings.

In addition, society is constantly evolving; to stay relevant, so must the AA Fellowship.

Language and traditions that were appropriate in the 1930s and 1940s are not always as fitting in 2016. In today’s society, attitudes and customs are changing, aided by developments in the scientific understanding of addiction. To wit, alcoholism and drug addiction are viewed as similar disorders, brought about by the same causes and conditions.

Increasingly, modern treatment agencies are merging their alcohol and drug services. In terms of the various Twelve Step groups, the solution is the same: an application of the Twelve Steps.

Center for Addiction Nutrition............................................61

Heroes & Horses.....................................................................03 International AA Convention...............................................20 Kaos Kustoms...........................................................................59

•

KIPU Systems...........................................................back cover

•

Lakeview Health......................................................................73

•

LaVita RDS...............................................................................19

•

Life of Purpose Treatment.....................................................26

•

Life Transformation Recovery...............................................53

•

Midwest Recovery Centers...................................................01

•

Monarch Life Coaching........................................................69

A full treatise on this subject is available on my blog, Twelve Step Philosophy, under the • title, “Drug Talk in AA Meetings.”

•

My 12 Step Store...................................................................35

•

Serene Scene Magazine.........................................................96

•

Specialty Health Products.....................................................47

Steve K. lives in Macclesfield, Cheshire, in the northwest of England. • He has a background in advice and counseling work, mainly in the • areas of mental health and social welfare law. He regularly chairs his • local AA home group. 12stepphilosophy.wordpress.com

Fall 2016

In Recovery Magazine

Prescott House for Men......................................................43

Steps to Recovery Homes......................................................81 Teen Challenge of Tucson....................................................85 The Well Recovery Center.....................................................83

•

Valor Behavioral Healthcare.................................................55

•

Wurth Organizing...................................................................67

93

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Fall 2016

In Recovery Magazine

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