Mindfulness for Resilience By Donald Altman
What Your Mother Never Told You About Resilience By Donald Altman, M.A., LPC According to American Psychological Association’s recent survey of Stress in America™, 67% of all persons experience a physical or psychological symptom of stress on a daily basis. Other research published in the Annals of Behavioral Medicine showed there was a long-term risk to developing clinically diagnosable anxiety or depression when one doesn’t cope well with minor daily hassles. I must admit that many years ago I adopted such a reactive and survivalist attitude while living in an extremely crowded Chicago neighborhood. Parking spaces were at a premium, and my blood pressure skyrocketed whenever I thought someone was going for my parking space. At the grocery store, I raced around other shopper’s carts like an Indy car driver trying to get to the checkout line a little faster. Am I proud of these behaviors? Absolutely not. Years later, I’ve radically shifted my view of the holidays—and other stress inducing events. Now, my mantra is: Give me the long lines; Give me the bumper-to-bumper parking lot at the mall; Give me the stressed out person trying to be first in line. What is the cause of my extreme change of heart—Prozac? Chocolate? Lobotomy? What really changed my perspective was integrating my personal mindfulness
practice with effective resilience techniques. This approach helped me distance from habitual and toxic reactions. That’s because it’s not stress that harms us, but our reaction to stress. In other words, mindfulness and resilience helped me regulate my emotional thermostat and respond in a fresh way—with greater response flexibility. Here are three tips for using mindfulness to stay calm and tap into resilience, even on those especially challenging days. 1) Reboot Your Brain with a Belly Breath— Did you know that when you get emotionally triggered, reactive, or defensive, the part of your brain that thinks and makes decisions actually goes offline? It’s like losing your Internet connection or phone signal— there’s no useful communication going on at that point. Breathing correctly for just one minute can repair that. Here’s how: First, assume an erect but relaxed posture. Visualize your belly or abdominal area like a balloon. Inhale, picturing the balloon expanding. Exhale slowly, letting the breath go out for a count of three or four. You don’t have to count it, but just feel the slow release of air. Three of these breaths can bring your thinking brain back online. Mental clarity and emotional regulation are necessary for bouncing back from adversity. 2) Overcome Impatience by Honoring the “In-Between”— Impatience can be thought of as a future orientation that discounts the present moment. Whether it’s an appointment, getting to work, finishing that paper or project, getting the grade, etc., arriving at your destination is like the punctuation point, or period, marking the end of the sentence. Yes, knowing your goal is an important part of bouncing back from an obstacle. But with a more mindful perspective, there’s greater acceptance and appreciation of wherever you happen to be on the journey to that goal. Here’s how: Begin by identifying your in-between time, such as anytime you move toward a goal. Keep in mind that this could represent small daily goals such as walking to get the mail; shopping in a store before checking out; driving
on the freeway going to and from work. Secondly, make a note of how you feel when you’re in-between. Remind yourself to be curious and flexible. If you find something unusual along the way, give yourself permission to explore and experience it. For example, that might mean that in order to avoid traffic you take a different route to work. This ability to problem solve with an open mindset is known as response flexibility, and it’s critical for resilience—and in therapy—to help anyone reach a goal.
3) Smile and Connect with Someone— Did you know that facial expressions change how you think? As published in the Journal of Psychiatric Research, researchers found that a single Botox treatment to freeze the frowning muscles in the faces of depressed individuals significantly reduced depressive symptoms. Researchers hypothesized the subjects had difficulty conceptualizing sadness, depression, and anger because they couldn’t make the facial expressions that went with the thought. Connecting with another in a positive way can reduce stress and even boost the immune system. In fact, laughter has been shown to foster a more optimistic attitude that helps counter adversity! Here’s how: First, notice your posture—particularly when you feel negative, stressed, or anxious. Does your body tighten up? Where? Do you tend to look up, down, or away from others? Assume a more relaxed and open posture. Make sure your arms, hands and jaw are relaxed and not clenched or tight. Avoid crossing your arms over your chest, which makes it harder to take a calming breath. Now, make a connection with another person. Share a funny story and a laugh if possible. Even saying hello with a smile when you enter your workplace or greet family members after a long day can enhance relationships. As you move about, experiment with a confident posture or a loving and compassionate facial expression. The abovementioned strategies are just a small sample of how my workshop
Mindfulness for Resilience will give you tools and ideas for helping clients get unstuck. If you should personally utilize these strategies, don’t be surprised if family, friends and neighbors ask you the secret to why you’re so chill. You don’t have to say anything…just take a breath and smile! Donald Altman, M.A., LPC, is a psychotherapist, former Buddhist monk, and award-winning author of over 15 books on mindfulness. He is a featured expert in The Mindfulness Movie and is profiled in the Living Spiritual Teachers Project. His new book about the power of pause is Reflect: Awaken to the Wisdom of the Here and Now. Visit: www.MindfulPractices.com