Final 2021 #Choosedays with Chen

An Official Venture of The Nucleus Publication 2021 Issue #1

#CHOOSEDAYS WITH CHEN A Digital Mental Health Magazine

CONTENTS

03

CORE TEAM

04

EDITOR'S NOTE

05

MENTAL HEALTH IN THE PHILIPPINES AND THE NEED FOR CHANGE

10

THE WHO: CHEN TAN

11

FIRST LETTER: FROM ABNEGATION

14

SECOND LETTER: FROM MS. GORGEOUS

18

THIRD LETTER: PRETTY SMILE

21

FOURTH LETTER: MR. RED

CORE TEAM

Niño Jan V. Miole Editor-in-Chief

Mark Anthony Abellana

Daryl Niño Jabil

Associate Editor

Managing Editor

Chen Philipp Tan Guest Writer

EDITOR'S NOTE

The Silent Pandemic

I

f we all could share one wish in this world, that would be to erase the years haunted

by COVID-19.

Yes, there might be a lot more deadly era's that should be erased from history like the World Wars, Martial Law and the like but this year, is something that we personally experienced and even if we deny it, the pandemic has affected everyone around the globe without an exeption.

How odd it is to think that the formidable human race would bow down its head against a microscopic enemy?

The worst part is, we couldn't strike back or vent our emotions against it because it's not perceivable to our senses.

We're all pushed back towards a small corner in the room to lament our defeat and our defenselessness.

Further, our social media, like Facebook, has been flooded with "obituaries" where people changed their profile pictures into candles depicting their remorse for a loss of a loved one.

In this battle where countless lives are lost, countless remain jobless, and countless succumb to mental health illnesses, the Covid-19 pandemic proved itself to be a foe worthy of our attention.

In this first ever venture of Nucleus, we shift our focus to the master pulling the strings behind the increasing mortality and morbidity during this pandemic: mental health crisis, the silent pandemic.

When human kind flourish, mental health crisis also flourished and how much more when we are dealt with circumstances that put us to our knees.

This issue would like to raise awareness on how important taking care of our mental health is and as a publication that paves the way to accelerate change, we provide a platform for the community to share their problems anonymously through writing a letter to a mental health expert, Chen Tan. It is in our hope that even in little ways, we can supplement the efforts of our Government and JCI to alleviate mental health crisis.

Take care everyone!

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NIÑO JAN V. MIOLE 2021 Editor-in-Chief

T

he pandemic has taken a toll on everyone, some more affected than others.

Factors that affect us include the looming threat of a killer disease, coping with the loss of loved ones, and social isolation due to forced quarantine. The list goes on!

But we can still do so much more for the sake of ourselves and our loved ones.

How can I contribute?

With many initiatives geared towards the mental health advocacy, there are still many ways we can contribute to the cause. Here are some of them:

In 2020 alone, the rate of suicide has risen by a whopping 25.7% according to the Philippine Statistics Association. This excludes the number of unreported suicides from families too ashamed of the event.

According to a study in the US, a third of COVID-19 survivors developed a mental illness like anxiety or depression 6 months within their COVID-19 diagnosis.

Indeed, this is consistent with most studies linking physical diseases with mental health conditions.

The great news is that more and more people are beginning to recognize mental health as an essential aspect of overall health. Last 2018 in the Philippines, a law that promotes and protects people with mental health concerns has finally been signed. I see more businesses recognizing the importance of wellness in their employees as well.

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1

CAR F L E E S .

As the adage goes, “You cannot give what do not have”.

You want to be in a state of wellbeing and happiness despite the life challenges ahead.

If you are a hardworking employee, you might want to practice more work-life balance.

If you noticed yourself procrastinating, practice selfforgiveness.

If you feel lonely and isolated, make an effort to surround yourself with good company. Care for yourself so you can better serve others.

Take a genuine interest in the topic.

ON

Mental health challenges are more common than we realize.

U C D AT E .

I 2

If you are a concerned family member, you could Google search conditions like depression and how to support someone who is suffering.

If you are a business owner or manager, you might want to look into symptoms of emotional distress and how to support them in your employees.

. Alternatively, you can hear about their experiences. You don’t need a degree to be well-informed.

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T OU

E A P K S .

3

Stigma and ignorance can only exist in the face of silence.

We want to give a voice to those suffering mental health challenges both mild and severe.

People sometimes believe that everyone with mental health conditions is violent or aggressive. . In truth, they are often the victims of violence or oppression.

Research shows people with

mental health conditions were often the victims of stigma, violence, or some form of maltreatment growing up.

Contribute to your local community and volunteer.

r ee

olunt V .

4

This may be your church, family, workplace, or any online or offline gathering of people.

Communities that can benefit the most from the mental health advocacy are those far from the city.

Oftentimes, these communities don’t have any mental health services available in their area.

Also, stigma or discrimination may be higher in some communities as well due to the lack of mental health awareness.

Initiatives may be geared towards stigma reduction, mental health education, intervention, or any branch you’re particularly passionate about.

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C T ERT E G IF 5.

D IE

You don’t have to be a mental health professional to help those in need.

With proper preparation and training, we can all do our part to help.

In the Philippines, some short courses that prepare us to help those with mental health concerns are the Psychological First Aid course and the Mental Health First Response (www.mhfirstresponse.org) course.

These courses don’t teach us counseling or other methods of intervention.

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However, they prepare us to respond to people in severe distress or even people at risk for suicide. Many free PFA courses can be found online while the online MHFR certification course is P2,000.

The Who

𝐏𝐇𝐈𝐋𝐈𝐏𝐏 𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐍 𝐑.𝐓𝐀𝐍, 𝐌𝐀,𝐑𝐏𝐒𝐘 -Registered Psychologist -Founder and Psychologist at Inner Peace PH -Referral Partner at Vicente Sotto Memorial Medical Center -Awarded one of the Top 50 Global Mental Health Leaders by World Health & Wellness Congress -Board of Director and Psychologist at Gestalt Wellness Institute -Certified Mental Health Responder and Instructor -Certified in Global Mental Health by the University of Washington -Membership and Recruitment Director at JCI Cebu 2021 Choosedays With Chen | 10

From: Abnegation Dear Chen, I'm Abnegation, a Frontline nurse working in the Covid ward for 1 year and 3 months... It's passion to be a nurse. Ever since I was young, I already envisioned myself as a nurse in the future.

However, these past few months, I felt that I made a wrong decision to work as a nurse. I've lost a lot more patients compared to the ones we saved. I felt that I'm failing the people, my country, and I'm afraid that I may bring the virus to my family. Should I just resign and look for a new job?

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Dear Abnegation, As a mental health professional that's frequently exposed to suffering (and the possibility of death), I can understand where you are coming from.

Self-doubt often creeps in even to the best of us.

However, these are also the moments that define us in our careers. When you begin to doubt if you were really meant to be a nurse, I recommend you recall why you envisioned to become one in the first place.

What was your purpose?

Probably to serve or help people around you in need.

Perhaps you blame yourself for the deaths of some patients. But also know that the patients that were saved might not have made it without you.

Also, I am aware that hospitals - locally and across the globe- are badly in need of brave and qualified nurses.

The community you are serving may badly need you despite your feelings of being failure.

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Reflect on where you can improve. Grow from mistakes. And know that you are serving a noble cause. It's hard to carry self-doubt when you remind yourself, "This isn't about me or my mistakes. This is about caring for my patients because they badly need me."

"He who has a why to live can bear almost any how" says the German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche.

Remember why you became a nurse and the challenges become secondary.

P.S. If you do decide to shift careers, I hope it comes from a sense of calling rather than being defeated.

Always, listening, Chen

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From: Ms. Gorgeous Dear Chen, I ran across this post from a friend and I'm happy to know opportunity like this exist. Bitaw Sir Chen, Bisaya ra ka? Ok ra mag Bisaya ko? Lisod nako ma express gud if English hehehe. So mao ni: bag-o ra ko ni graduate ug senior high. Dayun nag pandemic. Sa una, honor student ko, pero murag wala ko ka adjust sa new normal, samot pa nga mawala akung gana ug study kay hinay amung wifi, taga bukid tawn ko sir Chen. So mao to, ni gamay akung grado, di nako ganahan mu tuon, mag duwa nalang kog Mobile legends... Mura ra kog nasayangan ba kay ganahan unta ko mu graduate ug cumlaude para malipay akung Lola ug Mama.

Wala man nuon ko nila gi pressure kay naka sabot sila sa sitwasyon.

Ang ganahan lang nako sir Chen ba, unsay mga paagi aron ma improve nako akung self and maka adjust sa new normal? Huhuh I'm hoping maabot ni nga letter Nimo sir Chen.

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Hello Ms. Gorgeous, Makasabot ra ko og bisaya og salamat sa pangutana. I understand the pandemic has been tough for both students and working professionals. Aside from dealing with the COVID-19 threat, we're forced to grapple with home-based work.

A homebased setup would entail having the necessary equipment like a dedicated computer. If studying at home wasn't hard enough, we're forcefully isolated from our friends and teachers. Many students like you tell me they've lost their drive to continue their studies.

Here are some of my suggestions: 1. Self-forgiveness. Forgive yourself for not being as efficient in your online classes. You are not alone in the struggle and oftentimes we exaggerate how much a 'failure' we are. Also, being harsh to ourselves just puts us in a worse position to cope.

2. Boundaries. Make sure your setup is free from distractions or interruptions. Please distance yourself from temptations like Mobile Legends during study time or lectures. Also, designate a time where you can do play and have fun. (e.g. 9AM-3PM for studying, 3PM8PM for rest and leisure) Choosedays With Chen | 15

3. Communicate. To the best of your ability, coordinate with your teachers on how to proceed with your online learning in the absence of reliable internet connection.

Some universities have opted to make their all study materials downloadable (including video lectures).

Hopefully your teacher will be supportive. Worst case, at least he/she knows why you are struggling and will be more considerate.

4. Ask for help. This may be commonsensical, but pinoys have the tendency too shy for this. Since lacking internet connection is a practical problem, you want to ask for practical support as well. If possible, look for friends or family that will lend you a conducive space in their homes. Their homes may be closer to the city or at least have decent internet connection. Pay back their kindness at a later time.

Always listening, Chen

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3. Communicate. To the best of your ability, coordinate with your teachers on how to proceed with your online learning in the absence of reliable internet connection.

Some universities have opted to make their all study materials downloadable (including video lectures).

Hopefully your teacher will be supportive. Worst case, at least he/she knows why you are struggling and will be more considerate.

4. Ask for help. This may be commonsensical, but pinoys have the tendency too shy for this. Since lacking internet connection is a practical problem, you want to ask for practical support as well. If possible, look for friends or family that will lend you a conducive space in their homes. Their homes may be closer to the city or at least have decent internet connection. Pay back their kindness at a later time.

Always listening, Chen

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From: Pretty Smile Dear Chen, I have been bullied by classmates for my economic status and physical appearance. I want to quit school even if we're just on the virtual space. I can't stomach seeing their vile faces on screen. However, I don't want to tell my mom the reason for dropping. What should I do?

Choosedays With Chen | 18

Hello Pretty Smile, Being the victim of bullying is never easy. Bullies, by nature, often hide a fragile sense of self-esteem. They try to feel superior by making others feel inferior.

The worst thing we can do when being bullied to isolate ourselves. If you don't feel safe sharing your experience with your mom, find trustworthy friends you can open up to. You can also open up to your school's guidance counselor for assistance. They should be used to helping students deal with bullying.

In the event you encounter bullies again, prepare how to conduct yourself in advance. You want to be as selfconfident as possible and respond to their taunts with dignity. One strategy that has worked with a client is the power of 'ha?' and I've found this distributed in social media.

If bullies jokingly call you ugly, say "Ha?" Once they repeat the 'joke', say "Ha?" It won't be as funny to them.

You may insert any point you'd like make clear afterwards like how the joke isn't funny.

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Economic status and physical appearance have nothing to do with your worth as a person. If anything, bullies may be the one projecting their insecurities.

To quote the performance coach, Brendon Burchard: “When someone disrespects you, beware the impulse to win their respect. For disrespect is not a valuation of your worth but a signal of their character.”

Always hereto listen, Chen

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From: Mr. Red Dear Chen, I have problems with controlling my anger. I once shouted at my 9 yr old daughter and fought with my wife countless times. I'm always exhausted from work. I want to make things write slowly and I'd like to start making ammends. What are the things you'd recommend for me to make anger management a habit ?

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Dear Mr. Red, It's usually best to prevent your angry outbursts over controlling them last minute. Find out your triggers so you can prevent them from happening.

Anger is a secondary emotion, meaning there's usually another feeling underneath (e.g. powerlessness, hurt, feeling worthless). If it's hard for you to identify the source of your anger, talk about it with a friend. Sharing to a friend not relieves stress but brings insight as well.

If you feel burned out from work and you're being stretched beyond your limit at home, communicate this properly. This will allow others to help you.

Although you may have a valid reason for having your angry outbursts, still apologize. Feeling helpless or vulnerable isn't an excuse to hurt others. Communicate to your family your intention to manage your anger.

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Deep breathing is a popular solution to calming anger.

However, it's best done when you catch your anger escallating. Call a time out if you must then distract yourself with a walk in nature or relaxing music.

If all else fails, find a therapist to aid you in anger management. Psychotherapy may be more pleasant than you expect.

Always here to listen, Chen

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JCI CREED We believe: That faith in God gives meaning and purpose to human life That the brotherhood of man transcends the sovereignty of nations That economic justice can best be won by free men through free enterprise That government should be of laws rather than of men That earth’s great treasure lies in human personality And that service to humanity is the best work of life.

JCI MISSION

To provide development opportunities that empower young people to create positive change.

JCI VISION

To be the leading global network of young active citizens.

JCI PRAYER

We affirm our conviction that faith in God gives meaning and purpose to human life. May the good Lord guide us in all our undertakings...