The Jewish Home | APRIL 14, 2022
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teen talk
by Mrs. Osnat (Arlene) Klestzick
Dear Teen Talk, I am a freshman in a girls high school, and I am so grateful to be able to address my question to someone who does not know me and will be totally unbiased and can perhaps help me.
Teen Talk ,
a new colum n in TJH, is ge ared towards th e teens in our com munity. A nswered b rotating ro ya ster of tea chers, reb clinicians beim, , and peers (!), teens w hearing a ill be nswers to many que stions they had percolatin g in their minds and wishe d they ha d the answ ers for.
I am really hurting! I feel so alone. I would describe myself as friendly but on the quiet side. In elementary school, I had one or two best friends. I don’t know if it’s just me, but I feel ignored or even bullied by some of my new classmates. One day they seem to be my friend, and the next day they simply ignore me. We have a class chat and whenever they plan anything and I want to join them, they give me some lame excuses why I can’t. When I call girls to try to make Shabbos arrangements, I usually get rejected. And it seems in class, whenever I walk over to some girls, they stop talking. It is as if they don’t want to talk in front of me. They don’t want to include me, and I don’t know if that’s called bullying, but it’s very hurtful. What should I do?
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OctOber 29, 2015 | the Jewish Home
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ear freshman in high school, It takes a very mature young lady who is in touch with her emotions and feelings to be able to reach out for support. I will try to help you help yourself; but first you must have a better understanding of the term “bullying.” This word has been bantered about and used indiscriminately for almost all undesirable behaviors. It seems our society is fixated with “bullying.” As far back as I can remember, children have always displayed certain poor behaviors, especially in group dynamics. Not every action is bullying. But many are. According to the Oxford dictionary, a bully is “someone who seeks to intimidate, harm or coerce someone who is perceived
as vulnerable. It can also be someone who persecutes, oppresses, tyrannizes, intimidates or torments another person. It can be verbal, saying mean things, teasing, name calling, taunting and threatening to cause harm.” Leaving someone out on purpose and
you do about it? You told us in your opening statement that you had one or two good friends. I assume they are not with you in this high school and that is definitely part of the problem. Attending high school is a hard adjust-
Once you have an ally, you will have more self-confidence. being exclusive is a form of social bullying. You can see from the above description of bullying that your classmates definitely fall into that category. Now the question is: what should you do about it? What can
ment for most. Social interaction and relationships play a big role. When you feel comfortable with your surroundings and feel welcomed by your peers, that adjustment will come.
