The Jewish Home | MARCH 31, 2022
110
teen talk
by Daniella Quinn
Dear Teen Talk,
I am an average student in school. In general, my teachers don’t have any problems with me, and I do OK. This year, though, it seems that one of my teachers has it out for me. The first week of school she kicked me out – and I was never kicked out of class in my life. (I’m
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in tenth grade.) I try my hardest to not move a muscle during her class but even when I try my hardest, she’ll find something wrong. One day she even told me, “Stop looking at me like that!” I don’t know what to do. It’s ruining my year. By the way, I actually do well in her class and know the material well. It’s just that in class she seems focused on making it hard for me. I would appreciate your insights and advice.
2
OctOber 29, 2015 | the Jewish Home
W
ow, this sounds like a tricky situation! In a scenario like the one you are describing, had it been with a friend, I would have right away suggested speaking to her about it. However, the relationship with a teacher is a bit different and has to be approached with a different level of respect. That being said, the first thing I would recommend is recognizing that she is an adult, and as with most people, there is more to the story that you are not aware of. I can imagine it is extremely frustrating to be treated the way you have described, especially when you have no clue why, and so it’s easy to get upset at the one who is, so to speak, “treating you badly.” However, it’s important that you take a step back and recognize that you don’t see the full picture, just as she may not realize how she is affecting you. There is often a lot going on in a person’s life that has nothing to do with us and yet we still find ourselves taking it personally.
The truth is we all do it, not that it makes us OK, but none of us are perfect as much as we may like to think so; we have our flaws and we make mistakes. You know from yourself that there may be times when you have mistreated someone just because you yourself were having a bad day. Sometimes we are not aware of the way we affect others and
nothing anyone says to you will get to you. But in this situation, it’s important to remind yourself that it most likely has nothing to do with you. When you find yourself struggling with a particular situation that is outside of your control, consciously remind yourself that this is not a “you problem.” If you are not doing anything that would cause your
When you find yourself struggling with a particular situation that is outside of your control, consciously remind yourself that this is not a “you problem.” to what extent we do. With that being said, while we can’t change the ways others act, we can be conscious of the way our own actions affect others. The important part is not to take it personally. Of course, this is one of those things that are easier said than done, and it takes more than a lifetime to get to the point where
teacher to react negatively, and you cannot find any way to improve on your behavior in class, it’s important that you don’t blame yourself for the way you are being treated. Now, I know all I have said up until this point is everything about the situation which is outside of your hands, so now it’s time to discuss what is. I want you to remember that
