Five Towns Jewish Home - 2-17-22

Page 76

30 76

OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home FEBRUARY 17, 2022 | The Jewish Home

TJH

Centerfold

Football Withdrawal Syndrome According to Loyola University Medical Center psychiatrist Dr. Angelos Halaris, millions of Americans are now suffering from “football withdrawal syndrome.” Dr. Halaris provides tips for sufferers, such as don’t go cold turkey – watch old football games in diminishing amounts and share your feelings of withdrawal and letdown with a friend or spouse. Well, here are some better tips for those suffering from FWS from the Centerfold Commissioner: Introduce yourself to the women and children that you find inside your house...they are your wife and kids. Think about how long the off-season is. Now think about how long the off-season will be for Bengals QB Joe Burrow and count your blessings. When your kids talk to you, act like you are Bill Belichick talking to the media. Change the lightbulb that your wife has been “constantly” reminding you about every six months. Get into basketball and watch the Knicks. They will win at least 12 games this season…which wouldn’t be bad if they were a football team. If you are a Jets fan, meditate to the numbers 4 and 13… Because that was your team’s record last year and will likely be their record next year.

I’M PUZZLED

The below is a number puzzle. It should be read left to right, top to bottom. 1 11 21 1211 111221 ?????? ???????? What are the next two rows of numbers?

Invite your friend over and tell him that you want to hear all the stories he has been telling you on Sunday nights (i.e., about the time he was stuck in traffic for two hours; how his cleaners lost his favorite shirt, etc.) because they sounded so interesting during the final drive of football games all season that you just want to hear them again. Go to the gym and work off the 20 pounds of chili you ate during the season…so that when next season comes around you can put 20 pounds back on. Read a book. (Start with Dr. Seuss and work your way up to Curious George. By that time, the next football season will certainly be upon us.) Gather all the pairs of socks from behind the couch. (Make sure to wear your Hazmat suit, please.) Consider getting into alternative sports such as competitive eating. You are probably a natural at it.

Answer: 312211 13112221

*

Line 1 is “Two ones” (2 1) Line 2 then becomes “One two, and one one” (1 2 1 1) Line 3 therefore is “One one, one two and two ones” (1 1 1 2 2 1) Line 4 is “Three ones, two twos and one one” (3 1 2 2 1 1) Line 5 is “One three, one one, two twos and two ones” (1 3 1 1 2 2 2 1)

1.


Turn static files into dynamic content formats.

Create a flipbook

Articles inside

Some New Instructions by Rivki D. Rosenwald Esq., CLC, SDS

3min
pages 134-136

Your Money

3min
pages 132-133

The Old Guard by Avi Heiligman

6min
pages 124-125

Hail to the Commies by Marc A. Thiessen

3min
pages 122-123

Does Putin Want a Diplomatic Solution in Ukraine? by David Ignatius

3min
page 120

Political Infighting Could Complicate War with Russia by David Ignatius

4min
page 121

Notable Quotes

6min
pages 116-119

The Aussie Gourmet: Vietnamese Spring Rolls

2min
pages 114-115

JWOW

3min
pages 112-113

Healthy Heart Month by Cindy Weinberger, MS RD CDN

3min
pages 108-109

Parenting Pearls

10min
pages 110-111

Testing Positive by Rafi Sackville

5min
pages 90-91

Living Life by Dr. Deb Hirschhorn

3min
pages 106-107

FDR’s Jewish Problem – And Its Japanese Link by Rafael Medoff

6min
pages 92-93

A Bridge Between Two Worlds: Yisroel Katzover

14min
pages 94-99

Delving into the Daf by Rabbi Avrohom Sebrow

5min
pages 88-89

The “Final” Stage of the Challenge by Rabbi Shmuel Reichman

7min
pages 84-87

National

21min
pages 28-39

Centerfold

6min
pages 76-77

Raising Holy Tablet Breakers by Rav Moshe Weinberger

8min
pages 82-83

Israel News

7min
pages 22-27

That’s Odd

6min
pages 40-41

Rabbi Wein on the Parsha

3min
pages 78-81

Community Happenings

6min
pages 42-45
Issuu converts static files into: digital portfolios, online yearbooks, online catalogs, digital photo albums and more. Sign up and create your flipbook.