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JUNE 24, 2021 | The Jewish Home OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home
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TJH
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Centerfold
Golf Truisms
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The game of golf is 90% mental and the other 10% is mental. If you want to get better at golf, go back and take it up at a much earlier age. A golf match is a test of your skill against your opponent’s luck. If your opponent has trouble remembering whether he shot a six or a seven, he probably shot an eight. Your natural ability as a golfer is in inverse proportion to the amount of money you spend on new equipment. Counting on your opponent to inform you when he breaks a rule is like expecting him to make fun of his own haircut. The shortest distance between any two points on a golf course is a straight line that passes directly through the center of a very large tree. There are two kinds of bounces: unfair bounces and bounces that are just the way you meant to play it.
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Golfers who claim they don’t cheat also lie.
The less skilled the player, the more likely he is to share his ideas about the golf swing. For most golfers, the greatest handicap is the ability to add correctly. A good golf partner is one who’s always slightly worse than you. If there’s a storm rolling in, you’ll be having the game of your life. It is twice as difficult to hit a ball over water than sand. Your favorite golf sweater is the one that gets shrunk in the wash. Your first hole-in-one is always achieved when playing alone. Your greatest round takes place against an important business contact who you can’t afford to humiliate.
You Gotta be Kidding Me! Yankel comes home after his regular Sunday golf game and his wife asks why he doesn’t play with Moishe Goldman anymore. Yankel asks, “Would you want to play with a guy who regularly cheats, makes a fuss over everything, lies about his score, and has nothing good to say about anyone else on the course?” “Of course, I wouldn’t,” replies his wife. “Well,” says Yankel, “neither does Moishe Goldman.”
