The Jewish Home | FEBRUARY 18, 2021
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OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home
Life C ach
Love Sickness By Rivki D. Rosenwald Esq., LMFT, CLC, SDS
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here are certain hot topics these days. Some are discussed a lot, some are over-discussed, and some are better avoided, like Florida, corona, and politics! So hey, what about moving to some old topics instead? Like dating?! It’s definitely more challenging these days. Where exactly should people meet?! And if they do happen to meet or get fixed up or, miraculously, they both say yes on some website, how does it play out? So, let’s say that you agree to a date. Where can you go? And how do you get there? Does she have to sit in the trunk of car? Social distancing, after all! Or is it better to meet by Uber? But why? Are you safer being exposed to a different stranger?! What about going out to eat? Good idea! But iffy execution. Are they open? If so, can you get a reservation for the two tables they have available? And is it so deserted there that for some it would be considered yichud? How about playing pool? Again, good idea, but where? Last year, people’s porches were the dating hot spot. If one had a pretty outside area that they were willing
to share, people used it for romantic little dates. But winter isn’t offering those same amenities. I’ve got to be honest. I have a pool table that is kind of located in an outof-the-way area of the house. It has become the hottest dating spot. The truth is that making it available has really cramped my style. Wait a minute – no, I’m not some big pool shark. But I use it much more than you’d think. After all, could you
avoid all that anxiety, they are just proposing sooner! That kind of really helps things. Because, they get much busier planning a quick wedding and don’t need to plan dates. Unless, of course, they actually want people to attend their wedding! In which case, they are putting it off till the summer, hoping people might actually start responding “yes,” even if they are not family. But, either way, the stress of cre-
Who is there to notice if I’m wearing clean clothes anyway?!
think of a more perfect laundry folding surface?! But now you see what we won’t we do to help the shidduch crisis… Anyway, I’m still not exactly going that many places. So, who is there to notice if I’m wearing clean clothes anyway?! Clearly, thinking of places to go these days is just more challenging. People have had to become more creative and resourceful to figure out how to spend time together. Some are so resourceful though, that to
ative dates is diminished. They can now just drive around meeting each other’s relatives either through an open doorway, or a slightly ajar window or, in extreme cases, a mail slot. It all depends on what stage of the vaccination process the people are up to. The good news is that I’ve been reading that commitment is up. People are tired of playing the field. Well, obviously, there is no field! People are lonely. There aren’t that many places to bump into people and just
hang out. They are ready to meet their life partner. So maybe this is the moment to capitalize on it. Think of a guy or girl you know. Ask them about people they know. Make an extra call. Make something happen. You don’t have to have the answer. Just start with an idea in someone’s head and maybe it will just cause a ripple effect. We’ve seen the power of the invisible flow this year. Let’s see if we can start another type of flow going – one that leads to good outcomes! One that leads to healthy connections! One that leads to relaxed breathing – either for two soulmates or at least for their parents who worry too much over this. When it comes to love and connection, we can only create opportunity.... Some may catch the fever, and some may revert back to keeping their former social distance. Some may get chills all over, and some may feel nothing. Some may lose taste for the person, and some may continue to feel great after being together. The worst that can come of it is becoming lovesick. And that’s not so bad, after all.
Rivki Rosenwald is a certified relationship counselor, and career and life coach. She can be contacted at 917-705-2004 or rivki@rosenwalds.com.
