amuse - three22

amuse ...

W O R K ~ P L A Y ~ P A S S I O N

three22

Taylor Dayne

Mattie Kelly Arts Foundation Concerts in the Village

amuse a mini publication of things i like, love, and i want to share with others. i hope you like it too, but if you don't that's okay. jim ...

three

22 ©2022 J I M CL A R K

Patti LaBelle Performing at the Sinfonia Gulf Coast Gala

2 | amuse

25 31 5 35 27 36 7-23 28

amuse T AB LE O F C O NTENTS

5 Break the Rules

7-21 Women Features 25 Artist Staci Dabson 27 I am - Kala Bloxham 28 The SunnyDay Chronicles II 31 I've Been Thinking 35 #GirlBoss 36 Witches Ride 2022

amuse | 3

Break the Rules

4 | amuse

When I was around five years old, I

change, you are too much. If you take a step

believed I could behave, wear, and achieve

back and observe, you aren’t doing enough".

anything I wanted. There was no notion in my

Being a woman is exhausting! A few years

mind of being the “weaker sex”. I wanted to

back I opted to follow suit with my brilliant

play as hard as the boys played. If my clothes

predecessors and began to question the

were bothering me, I would take them off.

“why” behind specific actions. I reclaimed

Why couldn't I show my nipples as boys did?

my seat at the table. I asked to be considered

As time went by and I grew older, society,

and treated as an equal. I stopped being

my family, and certain types of environments

perky and always smiling at meetings. I held

showed me otherwise. I was made to believe

people, females included, accountable for

I had to follow certain societal “rules” to fit

their behavior. I called out misogyny, pointed

in. Wearing certain clothes or having many

out disadvantages, and offered solutions.

sex partners would label me an “easy”

Before you start thinking “wow how brave

woman. In the workplace, there were glass

of you please show me how!” let me stop

ceilings I wasn’t supposed to shatter or even

you right there. My behavior didn’t gain

question. Fit the mold. Smile and nod. Sit still

me any friends or any extra support. On the

look pretty.

contrary, all I got was the archetypes of being

Women have been categorized into specific roles and behaviors since the

“difficult”, “intimidating”, and a “bitch”.

Was it worth it? I believe so.

beginning of time. The ironic thing is that we

As I look back on my experiences,

are also given the notion that if you follow

difficulties, and lessons learned, I have deep

the rules, chances of equal treatment and

respect for all the brave trailblazers. The ones

respect for who you are may increase. After

who fought so hard to give us an independent

all, aren’t you doing what society, and other

voice. The ones who understood we deserved

women, are telling you to do? Farther from

to be seen. I’m, in no way, comparing myself

the truth, unfortunately.

to them. Yet, I do recognize the power my

Becky Hemsley said it best in her now

actions have over my daughter. I look at

famous poem, “Breathe”: (in my own words)

her with pride knowing that, even in a very

"If you step up your game and lead the

minuscule way, I helped pave her future. I’m

mara clark

by

amuse | 5

proud she understands her value doesn’t

There is a lot to do still but let’s not

come from the clothes and makeup she

allow this diminish the progress we’ve made.

wears. That she understands that the rules

All around the world women continue to

that for many years prevented me from

be treated as inferior. Some of them killed

becoming my true self she can easily break.

by showing their hair. Some threaten with

She knows dealing with the consequences of

prosecution for wanting to take charge of

breaking those rules is called misogyny and

their bodies and reproductive health. It's

it’s wrong. I’m proud of knowing that being a

going to take a lot of work, consistency, and

woman won’t be as exhausting for her as it is

bravery to carry on the fight but I have faith

for me. That it won’t be as heavy as it was for

in our gender. We got this.

my mom. That it won’t be as terrifying as it

Go ahead.

Break the Rules

was for my grandmother.

6 | amuse

Go ahead. Break the rules.

why?

I believe everyone has asked the question "why?" before. Why did they say that? Why would he or she act that way? Why are we all so curious? I think there are as many answers as there are questions or at least many different opinions. Mara had asked me what I was thinking about for the next edition of amuse. We talked about what was happening in the world and if we wanted to go there. Discussions of who or what could be cool on the next cover. A women's only issue is where we landed.

In this issue, I share some poetry, concert shots, and some short articles from new friends. You will also discover the differences between the seven women as they answer the same five questions in their own words as it relates to them.

Let me know what "Black and White" means to you. I'm already working on the next concept and would love your input.

amuse | 7

8 | amuse

kristin taylor How do you empower yourself & the women around you? I try to learn from the women around me and lead by example. I’m always asking for guidance and advice from women I trust. Whether that’s professional or personal, if their advice helps me, I try to pay it forward to other women. At work, I’m always seeking mentors and those whom I can mentor to keep the knowledge and empowerment moving forward. And always celebrate the successes!

What makes you a strong woman? Sometimes I don’t feel strong, but I keep pushing ahead. I believe that in itself is strength. I love a challenge and usually rise to the occasion but have learned over time to ask for help and say “no” when needed.

Strength means something different to all women, but for me it’s knowing I can do the hard things, but I don’t have to do them alone and it’s not up to me to do it all.

What would you tell younger women that are just now starting a career in your same field? I read a book called, How Women Rise by Marshall Goldsmith and Sally Helgesen. The biggest takeaway I would pass on would be to accept those stretch assignments, but only when they get you closer to YOUR goals. Some women take on everything just to be seen or make an impression, but that will lead to burnout. Be strategic when accepting additional projects so your skills really shine and put you in a position for advancement.

What progress have you seen on gender equality in your life and work? While I’ve been fortunate to be around women in leadership roles for most of my career, I definitely saw a lack of women in executive leadership positions. That has really changed over the past few years. I’m excited to see more women with a “seat at the table” and making a big impact in the business.

Why do we need more women in leadership positions? Being a working professional with my own daughter, leadership representation is important, so women know and believe we can attain those positions. We can then show our daughters that they can reach their goals, no matter how high.

Kristin is a Sr. Manager of Business Process Design & Improvement at Cox Communications in Pensacola, Florida.

She supports software design and rollout to users across the enterprise and develops processes to increase user efficiencies. Kristin is a member of the Cox Women’s Employee Resource Group and participates in regular mentor sessions with women across the country. She enjoys traveling, exercising, and spending time with her husband Steven and daughter Sophie. Kristin can be found on LinkedIn at www.linkedin.com/in/kristinrtaylor/

amuse | 9

10 | amuse

giavona williams How do you empower yourself & the women around you? I surround myself with talented and strong women. Who you have in your corner matters, and I have found over the years that those people keep me energized. We support and empower one another by encouraging positive thought patterns, showing up, and being our authentic selves.

What makes you a strong woman? I try to be open and honest with myself and know my limits while keeping a glass-half-full outlook in business and life. I'm not perfect and cannot do it all, which is okay. I have taught myself to become comfortable with the need to say “no” sometimes and move on. In short, I choose to learn from my mistakes and turn failures into future victories.

What would you tell younger women that are just now starting a career in your same field? Choose to be a warrior, NOT a victim.

What progress have you seen on gender equality in your life and work? Since I have gotten out of college, I think women's pay has moved closer to men's rates, but I don't feel it's equally consistent across the board yet. So we still have some work to do to achieve gender equality in life and employment.

Why do we need more women in leadership positions? Putting more qualified women in leadership brings different talents, new views, and structural and cultural diversity, which I believe will result in more successful solutions. Diverse experiences and viewpoints from women will significantly foster innovation and growth for upcoming and existing companies.

Giavona packs so much into everything she does that she goes by one letter — G. Before starting her agency, Grova Creative, in 2016, she previously worked at O, The Oprah Magazine, Sachs Media Group, BowStern Marketing and Communications, and served in the United States Navy. G’s award-winning work has covered everything from print, T.V., radio, digital, and social. Her agency was awarded “Agency of the Year” in 2019 and 2020 in the Tallahassee area. In addition, she recently was bestowed the “RockStar Award” at the 2021 Women Who Mean Business Awards. She holds a B.S. degree in graphic design from S.I. Newhouse School of Public Communications at Syracuse University. Outside working hours, G is an avid motorcyclist, soccer enthusiast, and volunteers with the American Advertising Federation.

amuse | 11

Sabrina McLaughlin 12 | amuse

How do you empower yourself & the women around you? Our greatest gift to one another as women is to lift each other up, especially the generation coming behind us.

It’s also incumbent upon us to challenge each other, in love, and bring out the very best of who we are.

What makes you a strong woman? My faith. Not only does it keep me grounded, but it serves as a reminder that my strength comes from something much bigger than myself. When I let my faith move my feet, I’m guided in the right way and for the right reasons. It’s not that it necessarily makes things easier, often, it presents more significant challenges, but with faith, you know all things work together for your good.

What would you tell younger women that are just now starting a career in your same field? They should keep three critical principles in mind – perspective, integrity and change. I believe that perspective is important because it reminds us to look at the world not as we are but through the lens of others. That’s how we see the world as it really is. Integrity is imperative because it means you are going to do what you say you are going to do. It reveals your character…especially when no one is watching. More often than not, it’s choosing to be courageous, even if that means being uncomfortable.

Change, as they say, is inevitable, and it’s essential always to be prepared for it. That may mean having a side hustle in an unstable economy or simply learning ways to be agile in how you handle situations. Learn how to adapt and overcome!

What progress have you seen on gender equality in your life and work? I’ve worked in a variety of industries over the last 25 years, and I believe we have made progress in terms of discrimination, equal pay and harassment issues based on gender. I think some industries are more plagued with inequality than others, which can be exacerbated with larger organizations or within certain geographic locations.

Why do we need more women in leadership positions? Obviously, the more women we have, the more we can close the gap on inequality. However, I think we have to be very careful that it’s not simply about the number of women in positions of authority. I think it’s more about the quality of women we have in leadership positions.

With 25 years of experience, Sabrina McLaughlin is currently the Owner and Executive Creative Director of 3125 Communications. Under her leadership, the firm provides strategic marketing, branding, creative and public relations services to clients in various industries across the country. Sabrina and her talented creative teams have been honored with hundreds of local, regional and national awards. She has also served in numerous leadership positions with the industry’s top professional organizations and remains an active member of the Pensacola Bama Club alumni chapter’s Executive Committee. Sabrina is a proud graduate of the University of Alabama with a BA in public relations and a double major in American studies. She also holds an MSA in public administration from UWF, and in 2003 she received her Accredited Public Relations (APR) designation, making her the second-youngest accredited practitioner in the country at the time.

amuse | 13

14 | amuse

BoYung King How do you empower yourself & the women around you? Being a female minority doctor sets an example to others that it is possible to succeed as a woman. I feel empowered each day I walk into my office and work with an all female team.

What makes you a strong woman? I embrace change and growth. One of the biggest events in my life that allowed me to grow was when I moved South to Atlanta. I was completely outside my comfort zone since growing up mostly in New York City.

What would you tell younger women that are just now starting a career in your same field? Don’t be afraid to start your own practice early on in your career. Once you figure out where you want to live, establish your practice there. The rest will fall into place.

What progress have you seen on gender equality in your life and work? My mother raised my brother and I as a single mom since we were in college. She came from a traditional Korean society and broke many barriers in being a strong business woman.

Optometrists are now mostly female. My graduating class of 2002 was 80% female.

Why do we need more women in leadership positions? Many women are already CEO's of their families and households. Growing up in the 80's I did not meet many women in leadership positions. It is important to set an example for young ladies growing up nowadays to see that women can lead in the real world just like they do inside their home.

Bo's Biography - I have lived in South Korea, Paris, New York City, and Atlanta but now I am proud to call Florida my home! I enjoy being a woman entrepreneur and own South Walton Eyecare in Walton County.

I love to curl up with a good book, enjoy drinking wine, and travelling.

amuse | 15

carlee charbonneau 16 | amuse

How do you empower yourself & the women around you? Empowerment to myself and the women around me comes in many different forms of support, praise, pride, respect, and appreciation for all that we accomplish in our day to days lives.

Empowerment also comes with noticing the admirable qualities that each individual woman offers within themselves and to those around us. We have so much to celebrate and appreciate from one another!

What makes you a strong woman? What makes me a strong woman, is that I am confident within myself and what I have to offer. I am not afraid to take risks, and I will reach out and grab any opportunity that may be presented my way. What makes me a strong woman is by being fearless, because no matter the outcome, good or bad, I will either win or learn from it!

What would you tell younger women that are just now starting a career in your same field? To the younger women who are finishing up school and entering their careers, I would advise you to take pride in who you are and what you have to offer!

You have a lot of strengths that those around you will admire and will want to learn from. On top of having your own strengths, still continue to be a teachable person and learn from those around you. Find someone who is successful in your career and make a mentor out of them!

What progress have you seen on gender equality in your life and work? As a young woman who has been in my career for almost 4 years now, I am thankful to say that I have been able to witness many different women and men in leadership positions. I have seen women excel not only at a local level, but also at corporate levels. I have worked for and worked with women in president positions and owners of extremely successful businesses. It’s empowering to be able to join the work force knowing that I have other women to admire, learn from, and look up to.

Why do we need more women in leadership positions? We need more women in leadership positions so that we are promoting inclusivity and demonstrating possibilities for women at all levels. Including diverse populations and backgrounds are the key to creating innovative ideas that can make meaningful change!

amuse | 17

kelly hall

18 | amuse

How do you empower yourself & the women around you? I’ll start with empowering others, because self-empowerment is a more delicate matter to unpack. Becoming a better listener has enhanced my ability to connect with other women on a more meaningful, empathetic level. The power of empathy in our relationships and strength that is derived from sharing the feelings of others creates a unified momentum greater than the sum of our each individual's contributions. And while empathy clears a space to nurture and empower others, this transfer of energy is mutually beneficial and the ultimate boost for my own empowerment.

What makes you a strong woman? My inner strength is inherently bound to my willingness to forge my own way out here in these streets. Strength is often confused with success, and unfortunately we typically hold ourselves to a standard of success defined by the world around us. Digging deep to define my personal convictions and beliefs around success, and making mindful choices that align with those beliefs gives me the ultimate high. This mindset is what makes me strong.

What would you tell younger women that are just now starting a career in your same field? My advice to women in business development, or any field for that matter, is strive to over-deliver. I cringe when I hear "that's above my pay grade" or a generational favorite, "that's not in my job description". These are limiting, shortsighted sentiments of which we convince ourselves, and ultimately those who hold the keys to our success. Allow your ambition to shine and set you apart from the pack.

I am by no means suggesting that you should have to work harder than your male counterparts for equal recognition, and if this becomes a pattern you should definitely address it with your leadership team. But going above the call, especially in the early stages of your career, will give you an edge in both experience and subject matter expertise that propels your professional journey.

What progress have you seen on gender equality in your life and work? Having worked in male dominated industries throughout my career, my personal success is a proof of concept of sorts of what women are capable of achieving. There is a movement of focused, sustainable work to foster equality in our personal and professional gender roles, and my journey has been richly influenced by female powerhouses and male allies who exemplify these values. I see more women breaking their own winning streaks, and the world is noticing and adapting in a more meaningful way than at any point in our history.

Why do we need more women in leadership positions? This ties back to my earlier commentary around the power of empathy. Data across a number of studies suggests that women are more empathetic and better at really processing the feeling that the other person is having, enabling female leaders to take better care of their teams. In addition to the improved contributions that come from individuals being seen by their leaders, women bring structural and imaginative differences to the table that are critical to building a diverse identity and culture. These differences lead to a broader sense of executive awareness and generate more effective, comprehensive solutions. There are some badass women in powerful roles, empowering their employees and constiuents, and their results speak for themselves.

Bio - Spending the past 22 years building a diverse track record in technology and managed services, I have witnessed a number revolutionary changes in the marketplace with women at the forefront of these movements.

My passion for collaboration with other tech-forward individuals and brands has allowed me to work side by side female powerhouses who have enlightened me along the way. After over two decades of service, I’m still filled with curiosity and outrageous aspirations of what is possible through our collective potential.

amuse | 19

20 | amuse

neko stubblefield

How do you empower yourself & the women around you? My process of selfempowerment is rooted in self-love and that which I share with the amazing women that I surround myself with. The foundation of empowerment is built when you seize learning opportunities, adopt a positive mindset, remain confident in who you are, and take risks knowing that you won’t fail you either win or learn.

What makes you a strong woman? Having a strength that is in grounded in faith.

Possessing an unwavering conviction in who I am and how I set out to navigate the world underpinned by my core values, beliefs and goals. I am clear about what I want to achieve in life and intentional in my actions.

What would you tell younger women that are just now starting a career in your same field? My advice to all women (and what I would love to tell my younger self) is to view challenges as opportunities to learn and grow. The path to success is rarely a straight line. While it may be filled with hurdles, those will all be looked upon as gifts one day, when you have overcome them. Start fostering your own confidence so when the opportunity arises, you can put yourself in the room and have a seat at the table.

What progress have you seen on gender equality in your life and work? While there has been some progress in gender equality in the workplace, we have yet to reach a level where “all things are equal”. To make meaningful and sustainable progress toward gender equality, organizations need to go beyond table stakes. The aim of gender equality in the workplace should be to achieve broadly equal opportunities and outcomes for women and men, not necessarily outcomes that are exactly the same for all.

Gender equality in life as well as in the workplace will be achieved when people are able to access and enjoy equal rewards, resources and opportunities regardless of gender.

Why do we need more women in leadership positions? Among other things, women in leadership positions bring fresh perspectives. Our diverse experiences and viewpoints play a significant role in fostering innovation since varied perspectives lead to better decision-making. As a result, companies with higher degrees of leadership diversity tend to outgrow those with lower diversity percentages. When women become leaders, they bring talents, new views, alongside structural and cultural diversity to the companies they work for, resulting in more successful solutions.

Neko's Bio - Ms. Stubblefield serves as the Vice President of Membership and Community Development for Eglin Federal Credit Union. She oversees all membership, community, and financial education efforts across their footprint. Her extensive career within the financial services industry, serving in various management and leadership roles, has afforded her the opportunity to partner with area non-profit organizations, military installations, businesses and schools throughout Okaloosa, Santa Rosa and Walton counties. Aside from her career and volunteer roles, Neko credits her role as “Mother in Chief” as her most valued role to date and it is her love and devotion to her children, Joshua and Madison, that sustains her.

amuse | 21

creative extroverted excentric homebody funny

Hannah

What are you thinking about now?

rent - my dog - roe vs wade What makes you happy?

financal freedom - hanging out with my husband - working out How do you make others happy?

personal connection - making them laugh - empathy

5 words + 3 questions = amusing

What 5 words discribe you?

What are you thinking about now?

What makes you happy?

How do you make others happy?

Nobody knows the "real you" better than yourself. Share a little bit about yourself with your best friends, family, or someone you just met. Maybe just write your answers down to save to read again later in life.

As we get older our views of ourselves may change. The way we treat others should always be with kindness, compassion, and empathy. Be yourself and shine in your world no matter where you are.

creative honest spontaneous dedicated loyal

Neryliz Del Valle What are you thinking about now?

All my family that lives in Puerto Rico.

What makes you happy?

My passion for art and videogames, helping others, and horror movies.

How do you make others happy?

22 | amuse

Be there in the moment of need, bring a smile to their faces and buy them the ice cream bucket for emotional emergencies. make them laugh - empathy

me I A M A W O M A N B U T E V E N M O R E T H A N T H AT I A M M E .

BE YOURSELF!

amuse | 23

artist

staci dabson

24 | amuse

5 questions+answers 1 > What's your favorite color and why? My favorite color growing up was lime green; I always loved vibrant and exciting colors. While green still remains one of my favorites, most recently I have been saying that my favorite color is the point where alizarin crimson meets yellow. While it's easy to say that this color is orange, I really do enjoy the process of mixing these two colors on canvas and seeing them still in the state of not fully blended. This color brings a sense of happiness and brilliance to a piece that makes it feel alive for me.

2 > You have a strong illustration style or vibe where does that come from?

Honestly, I didn't start out leaning toward the illustrative style, but over time it has developed naturally for me. I grew up in the 90s as a punk rock kid surrounded by musicians and artists who leaned towards bright colors and intense imagery. This part of my life shows up frequently in my artwork.

Additionally, I spent most of my adulthood working in the counseling field working specifically on trauma cases. The work I did surrounded me with some of the darkest areas of the human experience, and by the time I left I struggled to see anything but trauma in the world. The artwork was a way for me to release that, but I didn't want to focus on the darkness anymore. My style allows me to show parts of that darkness in ways that maybe aren't visible initially. Like counseling, artwork requires one to look deeper to see the true meaning of a piece and I love the storytelling behind it. Every piece I paint has a story and purpose behind it.

3 > What would you tell younger women that are just starting their art career?

The first thing I would tell them is to embrace themselves just as they are. The world often puts expectations on women to act and feel certain ways; as an artist, it is so important to put those misconceptions aside and allow yourself to be whomever you want to be. You don't have to be like any other artist out there, or any other human out there. Artists are expected to be quirky and eccentric, and so if you feel awkward it is ok to just own that feeling.

amuse | 25

Secondly, and even more importantly YOU CAN MAKE YOUR ART INTO A CAREER! My artwork is the entire source of income for our family and it allowed my husband and I to spend more time with our son while also earning a better income than we had while working for others. The idea of the starving artist is this horrible myth that prevents people from seeking out their dreams. Artists are skilled professionals and people need artwork in every area of their lives. If you are creating something, you are already an artist. Once you accept yourself as an artist all it takes is putting your art out there in the world. I started by applying to every local art show I could find and assured that I was meeting as many people as possible when attending the shows; it isn't always about making sales at first so much as it is about people knowing who you are. From there, I think it's really important to understand the business aspect of the art world. Expect to pay taxes and understand what expenses you have; art school is wonderful but taking a few business courses wouldn't hurt! You can do this!

4 > Do you have an artist or artists that inspire you? What are their names?

I have so many artists who inspire me! While the old masters are great, I actually look to my friends for inspiration. My father, Al Perry, is a photographer who taught me everything I know about the art world; I couldn't be where I'm at without his support.

My friend, Isabel Shingler (Monochrome Paintbrush) is an amazing black and grey oil painter from Pensacola whose style contrasts my own; her work has so much soul behind it I am always inspired to push myself and better understand my own story when I look at her work. Rafi Perez and Klee Angelie (RafiandKlee) are multifaceted artists who recently moved away from the area to continue pursuing their own art. Both of them have such strong stories and have strived to work with other artists to build their own careers. They inspire me daily and remind me that it is ok to push boundaries with my artwork. Halle Castille (Hallescometdesigns) is a fantastic pop artist whose use of color and imagery is something I can only hope to capture in my own work. Finally, my good friend Tanya Layton and her husband John (Laytonmade) are unique jewelry artists who are constantly pushing themselves to not only grow their work, but also use their art to help support charities and have found ways to make the world a better place through their art.

5 > Who or what keeps you motivated to create? Putting more qualified women in leadership brings different talents, new views, and structural and cultural diversity, which I believe will result in more successful solutions. Diverse experiences and viewpoints from women will significantly ovation and growth for upcoming and existing companies.

artist

staci dabson Staci's artwork can be found online at Instagram @sn.dabson - TikToc @sndabsonart - YouTube search "Destination Dabson: A Look Into Florida's Modern Art Scene" an original independently produced documentary short about Florida-based family business, SN Dabson Art, and the artists' lived experiences with exploring their passion for the arts while making valuable connections along the way. - Facebook facebook.com/SNDabsonart - Additional work can be found her website at wsndabsonart.com

26 | amuse

I am

by Kala Bloxham

I am Kala, the daughter of Myron and Teresa, I am a sister, I am an aunt, I am a niece, and I am a friend, I have dreams and aspirations, I have worries, and I have fears, I have moments that are filled with laughter, and I have moments where I shed tears, I am Kala, the granddaughter of Ed, Larry, and Evelyn Harris, I have memories with them that I will always cherish, I am here with a purpose, that purpose is to serve, As I begin to fulfil this purpose, I realize I have a lot to learn, I am full of the sun, this is why they call me sunshine, I am as deep as the ocean, this is why they call me wise, I am as strong as the mountains, I stand through the challenges of life, I am loyal to those I love, some day I'll make a great wife, I am Kala, accomplisher of many great things, I am Kala, the angel with big golden wings.

The SunnyDay Chronicles

VOL2

Let's Go CRAzy?

by Ashley C. Simpson

Ok, so I will admit that my relationship with crying is complicated. I would say most of the time it is warranted; occasionally I might overreact but you will have to ask my husband to be sure. My relationship with wine and crying is pretty common.

Humm…maybe that’s why they say stop your whining? Insert lol. This being said, my relationship with frustration and crying is no less than infuriating. That relationship is always tainted with a label, and it’s called acting CRAZY. Why is it that the stereotype of crazy is always attached to a woman? I know whenever I have been told “you are acting crazy” by anyone, including myself, my soul burns with both rage and embarrassment.

The anger bellows up from beneath my every fiber like a tea kettle about to spew

28 | amuse

out steam. Images of that quirky Loony Tunes character Yosemite Sam come to mind as I try to hold back tears and re-center my emotions. Inside I’m screaming “Why won’t you just listen to me? I’m not crazy! I’m just dealing with this nonsense!”. Meanwhile, in a galaxy known as the patriarchy, Men seem to get off so easily. Men act angry, narcissistic, egotistical, or arrogant, but women… women act CRAZY. And women always CRY. Crazy and hysterical are both terms commonly used to describe women in any emotional state we may have. The history of the word is so ingrained into the everyday lives that we use it without conscious effort against each other, but perhaps we should start reconsidering why.

Turns out this is by language design, as the Greek word hystera literally means uterus, and the Latin word hystericus means “of the womb.” The term hysteria has been used against women in any emotional state dating back to Hippocrates. The condition was exclusive to women. The belief was that disease lived in the uterus and caused only women to be neurotically insane, hysterical or “Crazy”. Sigmund Freud believed that hysteria was a psychological disorder and connected the origin to repressed sexual fantasy in women. Can we all please say “wtf”?

A very smart person once told me that crying gives me back my power.

When I am frustrated, I should cry it out and feel empowered. I should accept that I am emotional and logical and a crier. Ok, so I can accept this, but what I have failed to understand is how I can be all these things successfully. How do I empower myself through tears without the label of crazy? I believe the answer lies in understanding the stigma attached to crying and how the word “crazy” sets us off, makes us feel belittled, and causes self-loathing. If I stop associating the word crazy with crying, does it make it ok to cry?

If we take a step back from the stereotype of crazy, we can see as humans we all experience heightened emotions, but for some reason, we are not supposed to talk about it. We are judged and shamed if we show an ounce of humanity in an emotional way. In today’s society, the right to act on, and not suppress feelings is still very much attached to a negative stigma, but repressed feelings often lead to frustration and greater confrontation. Acts of “crazy” and crying.

Now if that isn’t irony.

Crying is essential to emotional release and emotional health. Crying is your brain taking a big deep breath and a re-set. There is great satisfaction in feeling the moment and letting it go. Saying I am hurting, or scared leaves all of us vulnerable and open to criticism. We as women shouldn’t have to apologize for a stereotype that attempts to demean us, and shut us up. We as humans should all know that it is ok to FEEL crazy and know that you are not, and accept that you need to talk about it. And men, that goes for you too. Even if it means crying it out and acting CRAZY; don’t worry we women are on your side.

amuse | 29

30 | amuse

She's Thinking... alanna grayce by

In early 2020, before the pandemic was

launch date- the day I would be walking

even a twinkle in our eyes, I was hit with

across the stage to receive my degree. How

an inspiration. A revelation, even. I was at

poetic, right? May 2020.

my job as a Graduate Assistant, working

These decisions were made before the

with undergraduate students studying to

podcast was quite what it is today. With the

become intelligence analysts, FBI agents,

isolation of quarantine and the increased

and security agents. I was grading papers

ease of production, podcasting blew up

with a docu-series in the back for white

in 2020. I can’t tell you how many people

noise, and it hit me: I could be going about

I watched buy microphones and start

this so much differently.

dropping episodes before I hard-launched

My love for research and for learning

this project I’d been working on for months.

has been an omnipresent feature of

It was discouraging, but it made it so much

my personality- from retaining obscure

sweeter as I started to grow.

knowledge as a small child to devouring

Over the past two years, I’ve Been

literature as a teenager, and then flourishing

Thinking with Alanna Grayce has grown

as a political science and anthropology

and evolved in directions I couldn’t have

student at university. I love to learn, and I

foreseen.

love to share that knowledge with others,

called, has moved from research-heavy

too. To be honest, I can’t even count how

solo episodes where I talk about some

many times I walked a slightly amused

interesting historical fact or social issue for

friend or a too-nice-to-protest first date

20 minutes, and has become a platform

through a summary of the research I built

to challenge ideas and inspire critical

my Master’s Degree around.

thought. Episodes today are more guest-

IBT,

as

she’s

affectionately

So with this realization, I pulled out a

focused, allowing myself and the listener

notebook and started brainstorming. How

to learn together, hearing from a variety of

could I do this? How could I find a way to

perspectives on a diverse array of topics,

research, find interesting information and

uplifting these varying perspectives, and

interesting stories, and disseminate that

sharing these unique experiences.

to the masses? A book… a blog… a…

As well as being the host and producer

podcast. I started planning, and I chose a

of I’ve Been Thinking with Alanna Grayce, I

amuse | 31

am an artist, a writer, and manage an art gallery

gym, collecting plants, and playing socialites

in Niceville, Florida. My artwork can be found

with my friends.

in Niceville, Destin, and Shalimar currently,

Follow me personally @alannagrayce or the

and I am a writer for Stove Leg Media. I love

podcast @ivebeenthinkingpod on Instagram.

the sunshine and the Gulf, but I do find myself

You can find my TikTok @ivebeenalanna and

missing the mountains of Eastern Kentucky- that

find the pod’s official Facebook at I’ve Been

I will always call home. Thanks to the support

Thinking with Alanna Grayce. Learn more about

from my partner, Adam, and our puppy (and

myself and the podcast at our website, www.

podcast mascot) Wynn, I have been able to

ivebeenthinkingpod.com, where you can also

flourish creatively. In my spare time, I enjoy the

find my blog!

32 | amuse

A GREAT PLACE TO MEET LIKE MINDED WOMEN

A SPACE TO BE EXPERIENCED. Follow the QR code for more information.

amuse | 33

#girlboss

by Lucinda Bunn

34 | amuse

I have this fantasy. To be a Bond girl

floating on her back, in beautiful, tropical

coming out of the water, like Halle Berry as

waters. I knew Jim Clark was an over-the-top

NSA agent Jinx Johnson, in Die Another

talented photographer, so I asked him,

Day. “I wish I could be like that!” was my

"Would you be willing to shoot pictures of

thought when I watched her walk towards

me to recreate this meme?" He said yes.

me on the screen.

The Bond girl photos came right at the end,

Most of my life, I didn't know I had any

when I confessed to Jim my fantasy.

power. But like Dorothy, I have had it all

Twenty years and sixty pounds later, I

along. It lies in my words, thoughts, deeds,

feel like I am that badass Bond girl coming

stillness, mind, body and soul. You have it

out of the water, owning my power as my

too. Maybe you know it, but if not, trust me,

legs cut through the waves.

it’s there.

Today, I am a sober alcoholic of 37

I found my power as a little girl. Through

years, a recovering anorexic and, thanks to

my eyes and my words and my art. I lost it

a modern medical breakthrough therapy, I

along the way. To grief over the death of my

am one happy daily beach goer.

father at age 7, struggles with alcoholism

In my work life, I am my own brand in

and anorexia and the end of my twenty-

the making. I am a writer, with a memoir

four-year marriage. I found it again. Even

telling the story of overcoming, aimed at

after breast cancer and a lifelong suicidal

bookstores in 2024. I am an artist, painting

depression tried to take me out.

bold, happy, colorful canvas and furniture.

"When I stop struggling, I float. It is the law." This is from my favorite meme,

Most important of all, I am enough.

because it shows a satisfied looking woman

And so are you.

amuse | 35

bluewater ride 2022 TH ROUGH THE NEIGHBORHOOD TO 3RD PLANET BREWING FUN

36 | amuse

PROCEEDS TO BENEFIT THE

AN EVENT BY THE

WITCHES OF SOUTH WALTON, INC.

A FLORIDA NONPROFIT ORGANIZATION

Most Witchy Outfit

amuse | 37

pure&couture

38 | amuse

SALON~DESTIN

going back in time with mara

As you noticed on the cover, we are paying homage to the 70s era as our way to call out the many changes that we, as women, have achieved since then. I love any opportunity to dress up!

I want to thank the incredible staff from Pure & Couture salon in Destin for helping me achieve my vision and working diligently with me. Nancy was in charge of my hair and Brendaliz was the makeup artist. Thanks again to owner Adrianne Brackett for agreeing to collaborate with amuse magazine.

This look is a dream...

THANK YOU FOR SUCH A BEAUTIFUL PHOTOGRAPHY LOCATION

pure&couture S A L O N

visit ~ pureandcouture.com 36150 Emerald Coast Pkwy 104, Destin 850.424.3935

amuse | 39

whatcha think?

DID YOU LIKE THIS ISSUE?

I really enjoyed working with my better half Mara to discuss ideas for articles, thinking who we could feature, and images to include. She is featured on the cover staring into my soul just like when I first saw her.

Read and share her article.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE MORE OR LESS OF? LET ME KNOW AND THANKS.

Yes... I am asking you 'cause I have learned that if you don't ask, nobody does anything.

Share some of your thoughts or comments by e-mail at jim@iamjimclark.com.

40 | amuse

DID YOU LEARN ANYTHING OR JUST ENJOYED FLIPPING THROUGH THE PAGES?

A publication can be fun to create, but it takes time to put it together the way you envision it. Creating the flow and incorporating a style that matches your personality and includes things you like as well. The image at the top of this page was from a quick photo session with Alanna.

And if you haven't already, check out her blog "I've Been Thinking with Alanna Grayce" wherever you listen to your favorite blogs. She is a fun and informative conversationalist.

next...

amuse CONTACT

call 850.357.0088 and leave a message E-MAIL

jim@iamjimclark.com

FACEBOOK

facebook.com/amusedestin

The last time I saw her perform live was over thirty years ago. Memories were made again.

TAYLOR DAYNE 2022 CONCERTS IN THE VILLAGE

Call me at 850.357.0088 to discuss your next photo session, a fun portrait or candid event coverage.

[ uh-myooz ] dictionary.com

verb (used with object), a·mused, a·mus·ing.

1. to hold the attention of (someone) pleasantly; entertain or divert in an enjoyable or cheerful manner: She amused the guests with witty conversation.

2. to cause mirth, laughter, or the like, in: The comedian amused the audience with a steady stream of jokes. amuse ~ to occupy the attention with something pleasant. That which amuses is usually playful or humorous and pleases the fancy. words related to amuse tickle, gratify, wow, please, delight, cheer, charm, regale, interest, gladden, divert, panic, grab, crack up, put away, knock dead...

3. Go to page 7 to find out why we did this issue.

4. Go to page 23 to see the amuse word of this issue.

If you already did, do you like, love, or laugh?

5. Go to page 38 to see the amuse to see some behind the scenes photos from the cover of this issue.

IF YOU MISS ANY ISSUES

visit www.iamjimclark.com/amuse or www.blurb.com/user/iamjimclark