I have this fantasy. To be a Bond girl
floating on her back, in beautiful, tropical
coming out of the water, like Halle Berry as
waters. I knew Jim Clark was an over-the-top
NSA agent Jinx Johnson, in Die Another
talented photographer, so I asked him,
Day. “I wish I could be like that!” was my
"Would you be willing to shoot pictures of
thought when I watched her walk towards
me to recreate this meme?" He said yes.
me on the screen.
The Bond girl photos came right at the end,
Most of my life, I didn't know I had any
when I confessed to Jim my fantasy.
power. But like Dorothy, I have had it all
Twenty years and sixty pounds later, I
along. It lies in my words, thoughts, deeds,
feel like I am that badass Bond girl coming
stillness, mind, body and soul. You have it
out of the water, owning my power as my
too. Maybe you know it, but if not, trust me,
legs cut through the waves.
it’s there.
Today, I am a sober alcoholic of 37
I found my power as a little girl. Through
years, a recovering anorexic and, thanks to
my eyes and my words and my art. I lost it
a modern medical breakthrough therapy, I
along the way. To grief over the death of my
am one happy daily beach goer.
father at age 7, struggles with alcoholism
In my work life, I am my own brand in
and anorexia and the end of my twenty-
the making. I am a writer, with a memoir
four-year marriage. I found it again. Even
telling the story of overcoming, aimed at
after breast cancer and a lifelong suicidal
bookstores in 2024. I am an artist, painting
depression tried to take me out.
bold, happy, colorful canvas and furniture.
"When I stop struggling, I float. It is the law." This is from my favorite meme,
Most important of all, I am enough.
because it shows a satisfied looking woman
And so are you.
amuse | 35
