JUNE 2016 | ISSUE NO. 6 COMPLIMENTARY
50 Shades of Paid
COPYRIGHT 2016. KADENA TATE INTL LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. HTTP://WWW.50SHADESOFPAID.COM
Copyright and Disclaimer 50 Shades of Paid Magazine ® (http://www.50ShadesofPaid.com) is owned and published by Kadena Tate International. 50 Shades of Paid is a registered trademark of Kadena Tate International. No person, organization or party can copy or re-produce the content on this site and/or magazine or any part of this publication without a written consent from the editors’ panel and the author of the content, as applicable. The publisher (http://www.50ShadesofPaid.com), authors and contributors reserve their rights with regards to copyright of their work. The copyright includes (and not limited to) ▪ The content syndication from the RSS feeds of this publication ▪ The content and/or images used in any of the articles of this publication ▪ The 50 Shades of Paid Magazine ® logo and any of its derivatives The content on the 50 Shades of Paid Magazine ® and its website are made available on the terms and condition that the publisher, editors, contributors and related parties: ▪ shall have no responsibility for any action or omission by any other contributor, consultant, editor or related party ▪ disclaim any and all liability and responsibility to any person or party, be they a purchaser, reader, advertiser or consumer of this publication or not in regards to the consequences and outcomes of anything done or omitted being in reliance whether partly or solely on the contents of this publication ands related website and products. ▪ are not responsible in any way for the actions or results taken any person, organization or any party on basis of reading information, or contributions in this publication, website or related product. PHOTOGRAPHY DISCLAIMER The photographs of Dee Hill and Kadena Tate-Simon appearing in this magazine are the property of Dee Hill Photography and the actual model represented. They are protected under U.S. Copyright Laws, and are not to be downloaded or reproduced in anyway without the written permission of Dee Hill Photography. http://www.DeeHillPhotography.com All floral graphics purchased on http://www.Shutterstock.com 2 | 50 SHADES OF PAID • JUNE 2016
Editor's Note You’re here to be a love agent: to give the love, to receive the love, to feel the love. You’re here to heal your wounds so you can light the way for your tribe and clients to heal theirs.
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
JUNE 2016 • 50 SHADES OF PAID | 3
50 SHADES OF PAID ISSUE 06
EDITOR IN CHIEF Kadena Tate-Simon
MANAGING EDITOR Frenetta Tate
LAYOUT EDITOR Karena Simon
PHOTOGRAPHY EDITOR All photographs used with the permission of Dee Hill, http://www.DeeHillPhotography.com
HAIR AND MAKEUP Vivienne Vermuth, http://www.makeupartbyvivienne.com
it’s an honor and a blessing to share this information with you. Thank You for joining me on this journey. For more information and exclusive digital content, head over to www.50ShadesofPaid.com
CONTENTS
6
WHICH PRODUCTS SHOULD I CREATE FIRST?
7
CELEBRATING CREATIVITY
http://www.KadenaTate.com
WITH CIGDEM KOBU http://www.CigdemKobu.com
9
GROWING THE COURAGE TO BE VULNERABLE - KADENA TATE-SIMON http://www.KadenaTate.com
11
ARE YOU ATTRACTING THE WRONG CLIENTS? - KADENA TATE-SIMON http://www.KadenaTate.com
14
LOVING YOURSELF BRINGS CUSTOMERS - KADENA TATE-SIMON http://www.KadenaTate.com
Which Products Should I Create First? BY KADENA TATE-SIMON http://www.KadenaTate.com If you find yourself repeating and teaching the
You'll often hear me say that you don't want to
same concepts over and over to your coaching
"step over dollars to pick up dimes". I am
clients, it's time to create and publish your first
referring to how many of us speak and never
information product.
have a product, service or program offering to sell at the back of the room.
The reason that my first business failed is because I did alot of the "right" things but in the
Signature Multi-Media Product - this is you
wrong "order".
proprietary brand - what you will be known for in the market; this is what will establish your
Therefore the purpose of this quick article is to
thought leader position of influence; this is the
make sure that you know the "why" behind this
advanced version of #2
publishing sequence. Book or Ebook (This can be a solo project or Free report and Companion Online Course -
collaborative effort. ) Now, let me say this, I am a
this is a teaser, an introduction to your brand
generous person and as women we have a tendency to over-share. Remember that you do
Digitally Downloadable Product that
not give away your 'secret sauce recipe' for
encapsulates your expertise. This is a "Basics
success in your book. That information is
Course". This opens the door to revenue
reserved for high-paying clients only.
generation. I am suggesting that you also send it to Vervante or Mimeo to make it physical, so that you have something "tangible" to sell when you speak. JUNE 2016 • 50 SHADES OF PAID | 6
Being vulnerable is a risky thing. You’re taking a chance
The Courage to Be Vulnerable BY KADENA TATE-SIMON
every time you share your heart with the world and say what you really want to say without holding back. Being vulnerable is sharing your tender self, your true self, and connecting with your tribe through your transparency. Vulnerability is risky, but it’s also empowering. It frees you to finally be who you are and enjoy the space of that freedom. It lets you tell your story in a powerful way that urges others to do the same.
http://www.KadenaTate.com As humans, we’re drawn to stories we resonate with. Our whole lives are determined by the stories we tell and accept to be true, so it’s imperative we absorb and focus on the right stories. What does it take for you to be vulnerable? What are you accepting to be true for you, and how’s that affecting the 7 | 50 SHADES OF PAID • JUNE 2016
way you show up in the world? Who are you being, and does it feel true to you?
The Courage to Be Vulnerable
PART 2
Mustering the courage to be vulnerable is taking a stand for bolder selfexpression and the privilege of being who you are. Being vulnerable is about sharing yourself, warts and all, and knowing that your experience is valuable. Instead of being ashamed for your flaws, you see the power in voicing them, knowing that they don’t reduce your self-worth & self-esteem unless you let them. I talk about being vulnerable because that’s the only way we can get to know the real you. Your polished persona is nowhere near as powerful as the raw fierceness of your truth and the strength of your story. When you summon the courage to be vulnerable, you give your Soul permission to truly express Herself and change your world through that expression. There’s a difference between being vulnerable and having no boundaries or seeking attention for your story. One is a selfless, mindful act that teaches something to those who witness it, and the other is a mindless outpouring that doesn’t add anything useful to the conversation. When you’re being vulnerable, you’re sharing something powerful to uplift, enlighten, or educate the people who hear your story. You recognize a universal thread in the specifics of your situation, and so you share those specifics so other people can see that they’re not alone and they don’t have to be afraid. This is what makes vulnerability selfless−you risk criticism & backlash to reach the souls who’re hungry for the solace and wisdom you offer. By its very nature, being vulnerable means being real. There’s no space for pretending, minimizing, or downplaying the truth of your words because truth is your driving force. You’re interested in telling the truth because you know it’s the next step in your evolution of who you really came here to be. And because vulnerability is so real, you have to feel safe enough to share your story with us. You have to make peace with the words, to accept them, to prep yourself before you make them public. You’re the best judge of what feels good to you, so you’ll know when it’s time to share or wait for another time.
8 | 50 SHADES OF PAID • JUNE 2016
The Courage to Be Vulnerable
PART 3
When you’re ready to be vulnerable, start in small doses that gradually open you up to sharing your story. Confide in a girlfriend or 2. Write a journal entry that becomes a blog post or a Facebook status update. Pace yourself so you’re not overwhelmed or frozen in fear. Even if sharing is a big step, you also want to feel like it’s a natural next step in your journey, not something you’re forcing or being pressured into. If you’re not sure what to say or how to say it, ask yourself why it’s important to be vulnerable. Are you telling your story to stop other people from making your mistakes? Are you trying to comfort those who’re suffering what you’ve been through? Are you teaching people how to learn a new skill or navigate a turbulent life transition? When you can answer those questions, you’re one step closer to clarity and focused action. Knowing the answers means you can decide if you’re driven by truth, love, and a desire to heal, and you can also decide not to move forward unless they’re present. When you have your parameters in place, you’re able to tell the difference between a genuine urge to be vulnerable and the mindless crossing of boundaries just to get a reaction or sliver of attention. This discernment gives you the strength to stand by your story even if it’s unpopular or controversial−you are grounded in your truth and unmoved by others’ reactions to that truth. This is not to say you won’t be bothered if other people discredit or try to diminish your vulnerability, because you will, but you won’t be torn down by it. Your truths won’t suddenly morph into falsehoods, and your strength won’t suddenly crumble like dominoes. Your ego might take a hit, but your spirit will be calm and robust. This is what it means to be vulnerable−to be grounded in your truth and bolstered by your strength. When you summon the courage to live this way, you start to reap the benefits and bond with those who resonate with you.
9 | 50 SHADES OF PAID • JUNE 2016
Schedule Your Portrait Session With Dee Hill Today!
I get the luxury of making clients feel great, both from behind the chair and through the art of photography. While the beauty of and good feeling from their great hair styles doesn’t last forever, my portraits will make the smile a lot over the years. Clients can even pass these works of art down to the next generations.
Celebrating Creativity with Dee Hill | http://www.50shadesofpaid.com/deehill/ Dee Hill Photography, http://www.DeeHillPhotography.com Hair and Makeup Vivienne Vermuth, http://www.makeupartbyvivienne.com Cover Model: Kadena Tate-Simon JUNE 2016 • 50 SHADES OF PAID | 10
Celebrating Creativity with
Cigdem Kobu
Hello! My name Cigdem Kobu. I am the founder of Peaceful Triumphs, the calm, cozy, online gathering hub and learning playground for conscious, creative women who want to live, create and thrive with ease in all areas of their lives – creativity, relationships, career, spirituality, wellness and home. My motto in life and business is simple: serve women who serve the world. I believe in fostering communities which connect women from different geographies and backgrounds in rich, nurturing environments. Environments where they develop more effective and efficient skills and strategies to lead joyful, fulfilled lives, share their wisdom with the world, be seen and heard, reach out and touch the lives of the people who need what these amazing women offer. What inspired you to start your company? I founded Peaceful Triumphs to support idea-driven, introverted women creatives and solopreneurs. Initially, we only provided much needed support through courses, our membership community and collaborative projects. And today we have become so much more. Peaceful Triumphs’ digital platform has grown into a collective hub of talented, experienced guides and teachers. Our primary idea and purpose that drives us, however, remains the same: serve women who serve the world. JUNE 2016 • 50 SHADES OF PAID |11
Celebrating Creativity with Cigdem Kobu
PART 2
What does being creative mean to you? For me, creativity begins with curiosity that blossoms into a challenge of the status quo. It means studying an existing problem that fascinates and challenges me. I then formulate a new approach by bringing together seemingly unrelated pieces to this problem. My process includes connecting, arranging, and presenting those pieces as a meaningful, unique solution. One that makes a significant difference in the lives of our community. This process doesn’t always work initially, but I believe you must be willing to take risks, to fail. Rather than a steady center of creative power, mine is an endless calibration. To connect to my center, I regularly stop and listen to my spirit and my body. The body operates like an antenna and signals whether you’re working from your creative self rather than your head. Creating is more about intuition and the heart than about ideation and the mind. You need white space in your life, quiet and long periods of reflective time on your own so you can calibrate and dip yourself into the source. I love author Elizabeth Gilbert’s theory on this. She says that in Ancient Greece and Ancient Rome people didn’t believe creativity came from inside human beings. They believed creativity was this divine, creative attendant spirit–known as a Daemon or Genius– visiting human beings from some distant and unknowable source for distant and unknowable reasons. Like Gilbert, I now believe this. It really takes the stress and excessive responsibility off of my creative shoulders. Now I no longer beat myself up when creativity doesn’t appear. I blame my ‘Genius’ instead for taking the day off, then use that time to rest, muse and recharge.
How Do You Handle Stress? I have a tendency to embark on too many projects at once, which inevitably causes overwhelm and stress over time. To counter stress, I take time off, take long walks in nature and spend quiet time on my own. An extra hour of sleep, or naps, always energizes me and improves my mood. I also make and keep a promise to myself to avoid advancing a creative idea just because it’s a great idea. Even if it’s one I can do well. I recognize limitations on my time and energy as a solo business owner. A fact that requires me to accept that most of my great ideas will remain just that. It sucks, but my sanity and well-being comes first! 12 | 50 SHADES OF PAID • JUNE 2016
PART 3
Celebrating Creativity with Cigdem Kobu Tell me about a project or accomplishment that you
I see myself as a conduit for creating opportunities and
consider to be the most significant in your career.
experiences that enable the radiance and brilliance of wise women, especially the inward-seeking, creative luminaries,
My most significant project to date is in pre-launch stage.
to change the lives of others for the better. The Teach &
Teach & Thrive CoSpace is a program offering a supportive
Thrive CoSpace will enable me to help amazing women
community of colleagues, ongoing advanced training, and
who are experts at what they do and who want to spread
an easy-to-use teaching platform that makes teaching and
their influence through creating and running online
learning a joy. All of this comes combined in the same
programs — without being set back by a lack of resources,
package. In addition to being a program and membership
tools or knowledge on the art of online teaching. And they
community, it’s a co-creation space.
will never have to go it alone.
Teach & Thrive CoSpace has all the ingredients, resources,
I feel honored and lucky to have the opportunity to
tools, coaching support, and tech to help an idea-driven,
support women who are true luminaries that
heart-centered solopreneur build a thriving digital
transforming the world one person at a time. I feel pride
business. Whether their business model involves anything
that my program helps them do their work with more
from teaching online programs using self-study courses to
ease, reach more people and spread their unique wisdom.
high-end group coaching programs, our platform provides
This, I feel is my life purpose. It feels amazing; and only
an easy, sustainable and profitable plan. The concept and
happened because I listened when my creativity spoke
application have gone through multiple revisions for
and decided it would be OK even if I fail.
refinement. This project excites me more than I can ever explain.
Where is your virtual residence?
How does creativity support your life purpose?
Cigdem Kobu CEO and Founder, Peaceful Triumphs
My creativity has opened incredible doors for me, making
http://peacefultriumphs.com
it possible for me to lead an independent, joy-filled and
https://www.facebook.com/WickedAwesomeLife/
always-interesting life for which I’m grateful. JUNE 2016 • 50 SHADES OF PAID | 13
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SHUTTERSTOCK,
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FREEPIK
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Are You Attracting the Wrong Clients? BY
KADENA
TATE-SIMON
http://www.KadenaTate.com It's common knowledge that the kind of customers you attract play a huge role in the success of your business. What people don't share is how easily it is to find yourself in a relationship with the wrong customer. What I've discovered is that the first sign of a customer that is not your type is someone who is extremely price sensitive and literally wants you to place the world at their feet for pennies on the dollar. If you find yourself communicating the price before you have an opportunity to share the benefits that you offer, or "justifying" your value, this is not an ideal client. If you find yourself giving away your time, undivided attention and intellectual property, without being compensated, this is not an ideal client. Of course this advice does not apply when you are volunteering your time, energy and resources. As a recovering perfectionist, I've had my share of attracting people who appeared to do their best to make me feel incompetent, incapable and insecure. Yes, of course, the seller wants the highest price and the buyer wants the lowest. That is not what I am talking about. I'm referring to the people who show up who want information and transformation without investment, To solve this problem, I recommend crafting a list of qualifying questions, an application process, and clarity surrounding your offer. The biggest repellent of all however is to craft a buyer persona AND write every piece of content as if you are speaking to a single person. Those who are meant to work with you will recognize that you are speaking directly to them. You will alienate everyone else Yay! JUNE 2016 • 50 SHADES OF PAID | 15
Loving Yourself Brings Customers BY KADENA TATE-SIMON
Hey you We need to talk. (The good kind, don’t worry.) Are you struggling to attract customers and business?
http://www.KadenaTate.com It’s hard, I get it. You just want the clients to instantly get how amazing you are and beg you to work with them. You want to know the real secret to getting customers to love you? You have to love yourself first. 16 | 50 SHADES OF PAID • JUNE 2016
PART 2
Loving Yourself Brings Customers If you aren’t completely enamored with yourself, how can
This all ties into one of my deepest core beliefs: That
anyone else be?
authenticity has no competition.
But that’s just the first step.
When you’re authentic, no one can compare to what you bring. You bring your own stories, thoughts, beliefs, and
After that, you have to commit to your own blend of the
value to the world in a way that’s different from how
following: direct contact and follow-up, networking and
others would deliver your same service.
referral building, writing, publicity, speaking, coaching, consulting, training, product creation, and philanthropic
It took me many years of ups and downs, successes and
endeavors.
failures, riches and no riches, to understand that I was not in the business of competing with others; I was in the
Does that sound overwhelming?
business of loving the core of who I am and what I do.
It might at first, but I promise, as you fall in love yourself
Not understanding your value leads to all kinds of
and understand the value you bring to the world, you’ll
mistakes: doing free work for people who don’t value you,
begin to understand that it’s your duty to share your gifts.
undercharging, working far too hard to bring in far too little, taking client calls when you promised your children
You’ll be happy to know that there are so many different
you would spend time with them, delivering on that late-
ways to share your gifts; can you get excited about all of
night project without charging a rush delivery fee . . . Any of
the possible ways you can bring value and help others?
that sound familiar?
Many of us women feel timid talking about ourselves and
Honey, believe me, we’ve all been there. Sometimes we
what we do because we think it comes across as arrogant.
justify it by saying that we are simply “paying our dues”, but
It’s only arrogant if you aren’t truly providing help for other
there’s a huge difference between the cost of entry and
people, but if you know that what you do truly helps
being walked all over.
people and aligns with the core of who you are, then it’s only arrogant to keep that value to yourself.
Promise yourself that you’re going to think deeply about the value you bring and how you serve others. Understand
When you love yourself, your business, and your
that you are an individual and you deserve to always be
customers and clients, other people will feel those
treated with respect.
vibrations and automatically be drawn to you. We feel icky about some business people because deep in our hearts
This is the real secret to client attraction.
we can feel one of those pieces missing and we know something is simply not right.
Always with love, Kadena JUNE 2016 • 50 SHADES OF PAID | 17
FETCHMAG.COM
fetch
ISSUE NO. 20
SNAPCHAT PRINCESS ALLIE CHARDIN TAKES US ON A TOUR OF HER GLAMOROUS LIFE AS A TRAVEL VLOGGER
Let's capture your radiance, love, and joy. http://www.DeeHillPhotography.com