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NEWLY EMPOWERED YOU ARE ENOUGH. WOMAN IN NC! BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY CAMILLE CONT BY NSP STUDIO
Dear Camille… I’m really working on my personal selfcare for 2022. A new boundary that I have set is to no longer let people talk down to me, criticize me, critique me, judge me, call me names or put me down. I have tolerated and become accustomed to being disrespected and treated poorly by others for my entire life, because I have never spoken up for myself, put a stop to it, or set boundaries with the people in my life, mainly because I was never taught to do that in my childhood growingup and never thought I could do so. Since I did know that I had the ability, power, or control to set boundaries with people in my life and never learned to do so, I thought that I just had to take whatever they dished out and tolerate however they treated me. I now know that is not the case and that I have the power to make my life better, happier, and more positive by not accepting or tolerating such bad behavior. I am not currently talking with my mom, so I was not able to discuss setting boundaries with her, but when we do talk again, I definitely plan to do so. I am not sure how that will go, and I suspect not well, because she violates my boundaries more than anyone else in my life and always has. As she can be very passive aggressive and dismissive if she does not like a topic of conversation, I’m sure the conversation won’t get very far. However, I plan to speak my peace and let her know that I can not and will not tolerate such disrespect from her any longer.
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If she continues to violate my boundaries, which is what I suspect will happen; I will have to distance myself from her as I will not continue to accept negative toxic behavior and treatment in my life, as I feel that it only brings me down and sabotages my efforts to become empowered, happy, and fulfilled in my life. If she is not able to treat me with respect and kindness, which I doubt, since she never has, I will not be able to talk to her as much, tell her about my life and what is happening in it, or visit/see her in person as often.
I did set a boundary this week with my friend Nate in person. He has a tendency to say negative and critical things to me and put me down at times. I told him that I do not like that and it makes me feel bad about myself and have low self-esteem and low self-worth. He did not take it well at first and became defensive and did not want to hear what I had to say. I then asked him to let me finish speaking and he did. Then he said that he did it in order to
CENTRAL NY WOMAN ONLINE : FEBRUARY/MARCH EDITION 2022
help me and to motivate me to make positive changes in my life. I told him that it did not help me, but made me feel bad, and that I only want him to say positive and good things to me in order to help me and empower me to make beneficial changes in my life. He agreed to do so and seemed to be understanding of how I felt, so I think that it was a productive conversation and hope that he will act accordingly. If I find that he is being critical of me and saying negative things to me again, I plan to remind him of our conversation and that he agreed to help build me up instead of tear me down. I plan to continue enforcing this boundary in my life, with Nate, my mom, and others as needed and to continue making new boundaries in my life as needed, so that I am able feel uplifted and empowered and able to live a happy life. I now realize how vital it is to have boundaries in my life and recognize that not having boundaries in my life was severely holding me back from realizing my full potential for a successful life. I wish I would have known this sooner but am so grateful to have this knowledge and power now. I will never ever overlook the importance of having boundaries in my life again as I am now aware of how essential they are to living an amazing life. Sincerely, Newly Empowered Woman in NC Dear Newly Empowered Woman! Congratulations! This new realization and dedication is Life saving and changing for you! WooHoo!
