Abusive Relationships
Imagine you went on a first date with someone who was sarcastic, nasty, disparaging towards you. It's hard to believe that you would agree to a second date. Yet an abusive relationship can creep up on us and have us gradually accepting that behaviour, justifying it, perhaps even feeling that we are in some way responsible for it happening. The abuser often couches their behaviour subtly; they may claim they are trying to help us improve, are encouraging us to remedy a perceived failing or flaw. It is often sexual abuse that gains the most media coverage but abuse also covers physical, emotional and mental cruelty and can be experienced by people of either gender, age, in any strata of society. It's important for us to become aware if escalating patterns of unacceptable, sustained bad treatment start to appear. Abuse is often about control. The abuser may be insecure, afraid of losing you, fearful that you'll find someone better, so they try to hold onto the relationship by increasingly checking where you're going, what you're doing, how you're spending your money, how you dress. Often an abuser will try to make you increasingly dependent and reliant on them. They may discourage you from working; they earn enough, why not take a break, why not take time to think about doing something else? It can be a seductive, attractive process where you feel cared for, loved, supported but over time you gradually lose your financial independence, career, friends, even family.
