KIDZ magazine - JulAug2009 issue by Cindy Chin

This One’s for Tweens! July-August 2009 Issue No. 29 KDN: PP13791/08/2009(022209) www.kidz.my

FR E E

RM 5.00 SUBSCRIBER COPY NOT FOR RESALE

! s n e e Tw

No longer a child

... Not yet a teenager.

Your child is never too young to begin learning what money is and its value. The Foundation level of FLiP is designed to help your child begin building a solid foundation of how to handle his money as this programme is more than teaching him mathematics, it is equipping him with financial savvies and astuteness. Give him the head start he deserves. deserves Programme Objectives

Modules Offered

Foundation (6-9 years old) Intermediate (9-12 years old) Professional (12-15 years old)

- Learn what money is and its value - Be able to calculate change received correctly - Plan how to spend their money wisely

Duration

4 sessions x 2 hours per module

- Know the difference between ‘needs’ and wants’ - Realise the importance of saving

Course Fee

RM 300 per module per child Price Includes

L. Whinston ad 2

Programme Materials Basic Stationery Certificate of Achievement Facilitator

Kidz Smart FLiP Trainers

Venue

Kidz Smart Academy E-06-2 Plaza Kelana Jaya, Jalan SS 7/13A, Kelana Jaya, 47301 Petaling Jaya

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Terms & Conditions: 1.Fees for each session must be paid in full upon registration. Fees paid are non-refundable.

Join FLiP now! Child’s Name

2.Payment terms: By Cheque – Made payable to EPITOME COMMUNICATIONS SDN BHD. Cheque may be mailed to (Subject: KIDZ SMART PAYMENT) 10.01, Wisma Lim Foo Yong, 86 Jalan Raja Chulan, 50200 Kuala Lumpur.

(Please PRINT NAME CLEARLY)

Date of Birth

Gender

School’s Name

Age

Correspondence Address Parent’s/ Guardian’s Name

3.Upon confirmation of registered dates, there will be NO REPLACEMENT LESSONS for lessons missed. 4.Reservations may be made by phone or email but will only be confirmed upon receipt of enrolment form with full payment before the commencement date of the course. There will be a minimum of 10 participants and a maximum of 20 participants per class. 5.The above Terms & Conditions are subject to changes/ additions whenever necessary and parents will be informed accordingly of such changes.

(H) (H/P)

Relationship to child

I have read and agreed with the Terms & Conditions and I would like to enrol my child in your programme.

(O) Contact info Email Occupation

Industry

Parent’s Signature

Date

For enquiries, please call 03-2144 5733 (Bee / Penny).

www.kidzsmart.com.my

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Contents 20

Brought to you by Kidz Smart Academy

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July-August 2009

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Happy Homes Photos of your candid family moments

From the Editor

Your Shout What’s on your mind?

What’s New The latest products & services for parents & kids!

Kidz-Friendly Award Tumble Tots – gymnastics & fun play for kids!

Your Pick Reviews & recommendations by parents & kids!

Parents’ Timeout Disneyland, Hongkong!

We Say, They Say Understanding today’s tweens!

Parenting 101 Appreciating Tween TV Shows!

Happy Homes

Special Report Domestic Violence in Malaysia

Dear Kidz Answers to your parenting questions

Kidz for Kids Outreach Women’s Aid Organisation – Home for abused women & children

Classifieds & Directory Listing Ads & info on where to go for your parenting needs

Celebrity Corner Hollywood Tweens!

36 37 38 39 40 41

In Focus Education Developing self-esteem with Lorna Whiston Retraining the brain with KidzGrow Problem-solving thru E.nopi MATH Literacy tips from I Can Read On savings & investments Speaking with confidence

The Last Say Cheeky quips from parents & kids!

Health The physical development of tweens

Rock ‘n’ Rule Recent & upcoming events to rock your kids’ world

Subscriptions It’s free! Subscribe now!

D. Jasmetha ap Deva

ndran

Rajdip Singh - Ice Cr

eam on a rainy day

Ameir Darwish

Kenneth & Micky with their three daughters

Reading fun - Amanda & her father

Send us photos of your wackiest, most unguarded and most tender family moments. *Kindly include contact details on back of photos & specify "Happy Homes" 10.01 Wisma Lim Foo Yong, 86 Jalan Raja Chulan, 50200 KL / Email: submit@kidz.my

Baby Jazz with

mummy Cather

ine

Lil' Kaitlyn Ta

Sasha, usketeers – The Three M eeq Farah & Haz

KidzSmart A c a d e m y E-06-2, Plaza Kelana Jaya, Jalan SS 7/13A, Kelana Jaya, 47301 PJ Email: info@kidzsmart.com.my

From the Editor

weens,

Their moods may range from serene to livid to just downright dejected. They can go from adorable to horrible in a split second and you’d wish they could be less hormonal. They may seem all complicated and moody but put yourself in their shoes. Remember how mindboggling it was to go through all those changes from the ages of 10 to 12? It is a transitional phase to adolescence that your kids may not be ready for. Neither are you, perhaps.

Issa with James, 11 (left) and John, 8 (right)

Beginning September 2008, Superkidz Magazine will no longer be distributed for free with Kidz Magazine but will be available for sale at selected bookstores and newsstands at RM5. If you wish to continue receiving Superkidz magazine, you may: • Subscribe to Kidz and Superkidz Magazine for one year for RM25; or • Sign up for Superkidz Club Membership at RM25 which includes a one-year subscription to both Kidz Magazine, Superkidz Magazine & one child’s membership valid for one year. All Kidz Magazine subscribers will only receive Kidz Magazine with their RM10 subscription. If you wish to include Superkidz Magazine with your Kidz Magazine subscription, you need only pay an additional RM15 and we will extend your subscription for a full year! Don’t miss out on Superkidz Magazine with all the exciting contests, giveaways and activities for children.

This issue is specially dedicated to “tweens” – kids between the ages of 10 and 12 who are no longer little children, but are not quite teenagers. It is this very awkward stage of being in-be“tween” childhood and adolescence that they face numerous obstacles and transition from childhood to puberty. Our We Say, They Say forum helps bridge the gap and connect parents with their tweens by making them more aware of how their kids feel about increasing responsibilities and various other social challenges. Parenting 101 enlightens mums and dads on the power of tweens as a demographic segment, why they are being targeted by marketers and how their market had made the likes of Hannah Montana, the Jonas Brothers and High School Musical into household names. In Focus zooms in on the physical and behavioural changes to expect at this age. From my own personal experience as a mum of a tween, I can say that, we, parents, can be just as confused about what is happening to our kids as the tweens are themselves. My 11-yearold son still needs to snuggle up to me in bed before sleeping, but when we’re out in public,

Demystified!

he wouldn’t even walk next to me anymore. And though they may be more secretive now about their emotions, what’s important is for us, parents, to be there for them no matter what, and assure them that they can talk to us about anything, that we are always there for them and that our love is unconditional. Whether they show it or not, our tween needs us now more than ever. We may want to still be inseparable from them like when they were still babies, but we must give them space. But whatever the distance, our role as a loving support system never ends and we must keep on parenting!

KidzSmart A c a d e m y

For letters to the Editor, please email issa@epitome.com.my

*New website under maintenance Our new site www.kidz.my was launched few months ago. As with anything new, there will be some glitches. So the site will be undergoing maintenance to debug problem areas. In the meantime, do check out our former website www.kidzmag.com.my

classifieds - Suria Kreatif_3boxes.pdf 5/1/2009 12:18:23 PM

Bright Kids Edu Ace Learning

Sime Darby Specialist Centre Megah

Publisher Kit W. Lim Editor Issa Rodriguez Managing & Production Editor Cindy Chin Contributing Entertainment Editor Janet Susan R. Nepales Graphic Designer Cedric Woon Paul Naquiddin Stewart

Photographer De One Baby & Family Digital Photo Studio Publisher Epitome Communications Sdn Bhd (570021-X) 10.01 Wisma Lim Foo Yong 86 Jalan Raja Chulan 50200 Kuala Lumpur Telephone 03-2144 5733

Sales & Marketing Manager Kevin Loh

Fax 03-2144 6733

Circulation & Accounts Manager TS Bee

Email kidz@epitome.com.my

Administrative Executive Wan Suriani Penny Ma

Website www.kidz.my

July - August 2009

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. NO PORTION OF THIS MAGAZINE MAY BE REPRODUCED WITHOUT THE WRITTEN CONSENT OF THE PUBLISHER. OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE READERS, CONTRIBUTORS AND PANELISTS DO NOT NECESSARILY REFLECT THE POLICY OF THE PUBLISHER AND EDITOR. INFORMATION PROVIDED IN THIS MAGAZINE IS FOR INFORMATION ONLY AND DOES NOT CONSTITUTE OR REPLACE MEDICAL ADVICE. APPROPRIATE PROFESSIONALS SHOULD BE CONSULTED PRIOR TO IMPLEMENTING ADVICE PRESENTED. ALL LIABILITIES INCLUDING LOSS, DAMAGE, INJURY OR DEATH IS HEREBY DISCLAIMED, WHETHER CAUSED BY NEGLIGENCE, ERRORS AND OMISSIONS OR OTHERWISE.

Printed using CTP Technology by: Kum Printers Sdn Bhd Lot 9, Jalan 51A/243 46100 Petaling Jaya, Selangor

Kidz has a readership base of 60,000 throughout Malaysia. Would you like to distribute Kidz at your establishment? Contact 03-2144 5733 or email subscribe@kidz.my for more info. CM

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Kidz Cover Models After much deliberation and a very stringent selection process, a threeday catwalk audition, and more than 700 Superkidz Club members aspiring to be cover models, Kidz congratulates its choice cover models for this issue:- (L-R) Zoey Ang Jan Enn, Sarah Jane Khoo, Toon Kok Hoong, Tibyaanah, Chuan Xin Vee Want to become a model? Then WE WANT YOU! For our upcoming September-October 2009 issue, we are inviting Superkidz Club members to send in their photos for selection.

Details of photo shoot session Date: 5th August 2009 (Wednesday) Time: starting from 2pm Venue: De One Photo Studio, 26-1 Jalan 24/70A, Desa Sri Hartamas, 50480 KL

Simply send us photos: • Via email to: submit@kidz.my (Subject: For Model Selection); OR By post to: “For Model Selection”, KIDZ Magazine, 10.01 Wisma Lim Foo Yong, 86 Jalan Raja Chulan, 50200 KL • Include parent’s name, contact number, email, and child’s name, age, gender and Superkidz Club membership number Successful candidates will be notified via email and/ or by phone. Parents with children who wish to try their luck can still register with Superkidz Club to qualify for the search. Kindly fill up the application form on page 50 (select Option 3) or for further details on how to join Superkidz Club, please call Kidz Magazine at 03-2144 5733.

Youu Don’t suppress it, express it!

t hou

It’s really hard to connect with children nowadays, even the young kids. Less than six years old, and already my son is using swear words! He says all of his friends also speak like that, so even if I scold or beat him, he still continues to use those words. Luckily my baby is still too young to understand what he is saying.

Dear Kidz Magazine – Thank you for the article on separated couples (Parenting 101, May-June 2009 issue). I recently got divorced, and didn’t know how ‘joint parenting’ could work. I cannot ask others, because I don’t want them to judge me. I was able to gather tips given by other parents from your article. It was very informational for me, so thank you. Now I just hope my children will not hate me.

Frustrated mum, sent via email

New single parent, sent via email

You know what is more annoying than people speaking ‘Manglish’ or ‘Singlish’? It’s people who speak with a fake British or American accent when they’ve never been to either countries! Everyone knows someone like that. It’s different if they lived overseas for many years and came back. But these people have never gone anywhere outside of Malaysia! So when they speak with the fake accent, they should just realise that they are embarrassing themselves, and that others are actually laughing at them behind their backs. Speak properly! Sent via email

Ms Boon, Cheras

If you have something to shout about regarding anything under the sun, send us an email at kidz@epitome.com.my July - August 2009

Don’t suppress it, express it!

Your Shout

Letter from Karl. May 24, 2009

A little over two weeks ago, someone broke into my house and severely beat my wife. It was horrible, unimaginable and a shock to us all in the community, friends and family all over the world. It left many of us asking why? And why did this happen to her? I am not sure we’ll ever know the answer to that. It happened mid-day and she was locked presumably safely in our hose. If you have ever been a victim of a crime then you know that you feel violated, angry, and vulnerable when someone invades your private ‘space’ like that. Compound that with the brutal beating of someone you love and you also feel rage, guilt, sadness and finally relief when you know that everything will be OK in the long run. Trust me, you feel almost every imaginable human emotion. Yes, you feel guilty for not being there to help. You feel rage and want to find the guy and make him pay for his actions. You feel grief and sadness when you see someone you care so much for in that physical and emotional state.

I can tell you why.

Donna, mother of two boys

essons learned, forgotten and remembered

All of those are viable emotions, and from my perspective, quite natural and healthy to feel. But you can’t dwell on them, focus on them or let them consume you.

The recent school holiday was great! I took time off work and spent one whole week with my family. We went to Genting, Cameron Highlands and even the local museum and zoo in KL. The kids loved it a lot! Especially the zoo, because it was their first time seeing so many different animals. The family bonded a lot. I think more families should do this, instead of going overseas for holiday trips.

Hello, my friend took me to a movie using tickets she got from Kidz magazine. She said it was especially for members of your club. I think this is a good idea. You usually have to fight with everyone and queue really early to get free movie tickets, like those given out by newspapers. But with your club, it’s gives something like a ‘VIP treatment’ for the kids. If I have a child I will also join him or her in your club!

Models: Superkidz Club member Marcus Ang Yu Jack and sister Zoey

Your Shout

Those negative emotions and feelings aren’t constructive. They don’t build anything new. They don’t replace the loss. They don’t help the healing process that must take place. And ultimately those negative emotions are counterproductive and destructive. The only truly worthwhile emotion is love. It is the only way to rebuild what was destroyed or lost. Love is constructive. It helps everything heal. Of course, you already know that. This is just a reminder. Whether you know it or not you are part of an incredible community that extends outward and encompasses all of humanity. Everyone from parents, staff, colleagues, and administrators to friends and family around the entire world reached out to us quickly and lovingly. Total strangers offered their sympathies and help.

People around the world cried for us. People all over the planet have been praying for us and sending positive energy and thoughts. Everyone gave us the best thing they could…. their love, positive thoughts and support. And here’s the catch. Some of those people aren’t necessarily our best friends. Some are strangers. And… how to say this… some are the very ones that get on our nerves at times or annoy us the most. Some of the people that responded with the most love are the very same ones that give us the most trouble. That is astounding. You know these people. We all have them in our life. It is the colleague or parent that doesn’t necessarily get along with you very well. It is the acquaintance in the community that you never really had time to get to know. Or someone that just puts you off for some reason or another. And countless well wishes and prayers from so many different types of people: Muslims, Buddhists, Hindus, Christians, Jews, Atheists, Indians, Indonesians, Malays, Americans, Australians, Africans, Brits, Thai, Canadians, Filipinos… and the list goes on and on. Not to mention from every layer of society: students, maids, maintenance guys, parents, police, managers, workers, rich people, poor people… their station in life didn’t matter. They all rushed to our side. You name it… we got it and accepted their love and caring with open arms. Love doesn’t discriminate or know those boundaries and definitions. I hope you know what I mean. I find it truly amazing. I can’t stop thinking about it. So what does that teach us and help us remember? What it reminds me to remember is that all those differences are superficial. They really don’t matter. The minor differences. The annoying quirks and idiosyncrasies. They aren’t what we should focus on. They don’t define the essence of the person. Race, religion, socio-economic status and beliefs don’t erase or mask what we truly are or can be at the core of it all: loving, caring human beings who struggle through this

existence with one another, side by side, trying to make sense of it all. As I’ve journeyed through this life I’ve learned, forgotten and relearned many times over this simple fact: as we swim through this ocean of experience we try not to drown. We teach each other to stay afloat. We support each other and we build life rafts out of community, friendship and love because we know deep down inside that we are all stronger when we work together. We are not alone in our confusion and struggle. It is indeed our greatest commonality and asset. This life. This collective struggle. This shared existence. In our time of need all of those superficial things dropped away like the petals of dried flowers and exposed this fact. Everyone that responded did so in the same exact way. With kindness, love, respect and gave what they could. Because in our hearts we all know we are in this together. Although sometimes we tend to forget that basic tenet. Of course, you already know that. This is just a reminder. So here is my challenge to you and what I have learned, forgotten and relearned through this experience: Cherish these moments you have on this Earth, especially with loved ones. Don’t dwell on the emotions that aren’t worthwhile. And next time someone is getting on your nerves or causing you problems, look beyond the thin veneer of their quirks and idiosyncrasies and gaze deeply into the core of their humanity. Look at them through the lens of our common human experience and you’ll see yourself reflected there. And if you do this, I promise you will recognise that they are indeed just like you in their essence. You will recognise yourself in them. Because one of the most profound things I have heard lately came from my wife when she said ‘I stopped being a victim the moment he stopped hitting and kicking me. Now I am a survivor.’ This makes sense to me because I truly believe and feel in my heart we are all surviving together in this existence and experience day-by-day in our own way, collectively.

(Identities have been changed to protect the privacy of the writer & the parties involved.) July - August 2009

What’s New

Updates on latest products and services!

What’s New

Dutch Lady launches TT-Ratio Advance™ The right nutrition will lead to a longer attention span, thus enabling children to learn more effectively. Parents can now rejoice with Dutch Lady’s newly- improved formulation of Dutch Lady 123 and 456 Growing Up Milk – TT-Ratio Advance™. For children aged one to six years old, the new milk formula now comprises a specific ratio of Tryptophan and Tyrosine, with a combination of carbohydrates and B-Vitamins. The improved formula comes after just two short years of the introduction of TT-Ratio™, promoting effective learning among children. TT-Ratio Advance™ was developed based on the understanding that one of the many difficulties faced by pre-schoolers is the inability to pay attention. During their formative years, children need to learn extremely fast as their brains absorb everything they see and discover. It is not uncommon for children nowadays to be constantly distracted or have short attention span and experts believe this is caused by the way information is delivered to them. Dutch Lady 123 and 456 TT-Ratio Advance™ are available in three flavours – Regular, Honey and Chocolate, and retail at RM 9.30 (350g), RM 16.40 (650g), RM 24.00 (1kg) and RM 45.60 (1.8kg).

New offerings from F&N Dairies

< Magnolia Yoghurt Petite > Love ice cream but always end up feeling guilty after eating it? Can’t decide between having healthy yoghurt or tempting ice cream? Now, get the best of both worlds as Magnolia has the perfect solution for you. The new Magnolia Yoghurt Petite from F&N Dairies offers a tasty yet healthier indulgence that combines the wholesome, creamy goodness of ice cream and the healthy benefits of yoghurt. With each stick only containing a meagre 56 calories and 1 gram of fat, Magnolia Yoghurt Petite is perfect to round off a good meal or as an in-between snack. Better yet, it is completely trans-fat free and contains live cultures to aid your digestive system. Magnolia Yoghurt Petite comes in a box of six sticks in two luscious flavours - Low Fat Strawberry Flavoured Ice Cream with Yoghurt and Strawberry Ripple and Low Fat Flavoured Ice Cream with Yoghurt and Mango Ripple. It is available at all major supermarkets, hypermarkets and large provisional shops with a recommended retail price of RM7.90.

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< Magnolia Cravio Crunchie Bliss > Another new product rolled out is Magnolia Cravio Crunchie Bliss Petite Bites, another great option for those looking for indulgence in small portions once in a while. Each pack is conveniently packaged in a cute set of 15 bite-sized delights of vanilla flavoured ice cream coated with chocolate wafer and peanuts which is also perfect for a quick snack. It is also a convenient way to share the creamy delicious ice cream bites with friends and family. Magnolia Cravio Crunchie Bliss is available at all major supermarkets, hypermarkets and large provisional shops with a recommended retail price of RM6.90. 12

July - August 2009

Kidz-Friendly

Awarding establishments where kids are king!

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“The centre is very spacious and has a warm setting, so I think it has a comfortable, relaxed feel to the place. The floors and everything are very clean. For me, cleanliness is a priority; it is a must. They also made sure all the kids used the hand sanitiser before class and after they’ve been to the washroom. I can see the kids are given lots of attention. The programme is quite good, as it teaches children how to be more outspoken. The kids kept running around the whole time playing, so it’s a good workout for them too.” > Mrs Lim, Jia Piau’s mum The class started with an ice breaker, where the little reviewers joined an existing class. Trainers asked them to tell everyone their names to teach them to have the courage to speak up and vocally express themselves. After that, they started on some simple games that involved lots of running around and laughter. The experienced trainers were quite adept at handling the children, giving praises when they accomplished tasks and being stern when they misbehaved. “The trainers are expressive and animated to keep children interested. They are very hands-on and know how to take control of the class. At times they are friendly with the children, but when they misbehave the trainers will be stern with them. The activities really help in developing children’s minds and skills, something which we, parents, may not have the time or proper knowledge in guiding them. My daughter enjoyed it so much she

Kidz-Friendly

asked me to bring her there again the next day! She had fun in the activities, learned new things and even made new friends.” > Zarina, Ameera’s mum Next the kids had a go at ‘obstacle courses’ set up at the centre. They got to climb ladders, walk on wobbly planks and even threw themselves onto big soft cushions. Such activities are designed to increase their confidence level. They were given specific instructions and rules to follow in order to complete the obstacle courses correctly. To ensure children’s safety, trainers were always on hand to guide them on the right way to climb ladders, to get down and to roll around. “I think it’s very well-equipped. It’s a good place for the children to enjoy themselves; to let the toddlers to exercise, socialise and release their energy! At the same time they are told what to do or what cannot be done, so they learn to listen and follow instructions. For once, we parents don’t have to do all the ordering around! The kids said it was SUPERFUN! I think this one word sums it all.” > Mr Chin, Ga Wei’s dad By the end of the review, everyone only had good and positive things to say about the centre, its programmes and the trainers. For providing a fun place for children to learn through physical play in a safe environment, Tumble Tots is given the Kidz-Friendly Stamp of Approval!

Based on the philosophy that young children need to grow, learn and progress at a pace they are comfortable with, Tumble Tots was established in 1979 in the UK by Bill Cosgrave, coach for the British Olympic Gymnastics team of 1968. Tumble Tots encourages motor skills and allows positive personality traits to flourish. Its objective is to prepare young children before they enter school by instilling confidence in them. Learning is done through play, with each session lasting 45 minutes long. For babies from six months to walking age, Gymbabes helps them to overcome ‘stranger’ anxiety and encourages them to socialise with others. Then up to the age of five, kids join the Tumble Tots classes to develop motor skills, self-discipline and a sense of independence via more social and interactive play. Gymbobs are for those five to seven years old who are starting to become more independent and confident. To strengthen these traits, parents are not allowed to accompany their children – a rule strictly adhered to at the centre (except for special cases), as the Kidz review team found out during a recent visit to the Subang Parade branch.

(L-R) Jia Piau, Ameera, Wei Hou & Gia Wae with their parents and Tumble Tots trainers.

July - August 2009

The review team was made up of Superkidz Club members Chin Gia Wae (6) with his dad and cousin Wei Hou (5); Lim Jia Piau (6) with his parents; and Ameera Hazreena Ahmad Rizal (6) with her mum. Upon arrival, the children were asked to clean their hands with waterless hand sanitiser. This was recently implemented to ensure proper hygiene among the kids and will now be a standard practice at Tumble Tots centres. After a brief introduction on how classes are conducted, parents were only allowed to observe their kids for a short time before being requested to wait outside. None of the families minded, although Ameera was a little apprehensive about being away from mum. By the end of the review session though, she was grinning from ear to ear!

Tumble Tots Website: www.tumbletots.com.my • 2nd Floor, The Curve (Tel: 03-7725 7075) • 1st Floor, One Utama Shopping Centre (Tel: 03-7710 9188) • 1st Floor, Subang Parade (Tel: 03-5634 9085) • Level 4, Great Eastern Mall (Tel: 03-4813 2005) • 1st Level, Metro Prima Shopping Centre (Tel: 03-6258 8189) *Beginning now until 31st August 2009, Superkidz Club members who sign up as a Tumble Tots member (for a minimum of three months) will be entitled to one complimentary Tumble Tots Physical Play Session worth up to RM60.

July - August 2009

Your Pick

Reviews and recommendations by parents & kids!

Reviews and recommendations!

Your Pick

•Tell us how being a parent to six kids feels like?

J: They are all different in terms of temperament, likes and dislikes,

eatured Author

abilities, strengths and sensitivities. I have to respect each of them and fine-tune my approach, but I raise them all with the same principles. I believe that my mission as a parent is to inspire my kids to believe in themselves so they will always strive for their personal best, whatever that may be. My kids know they can ask me about virtually anything although I don’t have all the answers to their questions! They know I don’t expect them to be perfect kids and do everything right all the time. • If you can offer a word of advice to parents, what would it be?

Be kind but firm. Lots of kindness balanced with firmness at the right time will go a long way towards raising self-disciplined, confident children. To know more about Jamilah, visit her site at http://coolmumsuperdad.com

Jamilah Samian ,

zah, Sala Fakhri Ham nd Ahmad h ba ila us m H ) Ja d -R (L 8) an (10), Alia (1 Sirajuddin

Jamilah Samian is mum to five boys and a girl, the youngest being ten years old and the eldest being 23 years old. She holds a Bachelor of Science in Computer Science & Mathematics from Indiana State University (USA), Bachelor of Psychology from Upper Iowa University (USA) and Diploma in Journalism (Distinction) from the London School of Journalism (UK).

- What makes a mum cool and a dad super - Who the happiest and most fulfilled parents are - How little things can make a big difference in parenting - How your personal history and upbringing define the way you parent - Why the relationship aspect is key to a happier and healthier you - Why fulfilling your needs is crucial to becoming a better parent - Optimism: the “magic shield” in parenting - Forgiveness and how to set a forgiving atmosphere at home - Anger and what it does - How girls are different from boys - How to deal with sibling rivalry and adolescence

An active member of the MIM (Malaysian Institute of Management) Toastmasters International), Jamilah writes full-time and has published a few books, namely Cool Mum Super Dad in 2006 and its Malay edition Ibu Kool Bapa Hebat. This year in April, she launched another book, titled Cool Boys Super Sons. Her daughter Alia actually did the artwork for the book, while her two eldest sons Saifuddin and Salahuddin maintain her website/ blog. Her journey to becoming an author began in 1998, when her family moved to the Middle East, where expatriate spouses were not allowed to work. While there, she submitted an article to a local magazine and was rejected. Stung by the editor’s comments, Jamilah took up a journalism course and was soon writing for an English Malaysian daily and for English magazines. Then in 2003, she challenged herself again and decided to write a book. In two years’ time, she produced her first book. The rest, as they say, is history. 16

July - August 2009

• What were some of the interesting things that you discovered while interviewing people for your latest book Cool Boys Super Sons?

I was surprised that some parents were not aware that adolescence was a major turning point for their kids, when they change for the better or for worse. They didn’t realise that their kids would be extra vulnerable to negative external influences, so some failed to grab this window of opportunity to exert a positive influence on their kids. One shocking experience was when I interviewed a boy whose alcoholic father was actually a well-respected police officer. The boy began to seek companionship outside and hung out with the wrong crowd. He started smoking, moving on to drugs and later resorted to a life of crime to support his addiction. • How would this book apply to parents with tweenagers or boys?

Some parents are completely at ease with younger children but find themselves at a loss with tweens and teens. Tweens tend to ask deep, searching questions that are more complex and more of a challenge to respond to. If you don’t appreciate the fact that this is a crucial part of their growth and you don’t know that adolescence is when kids search for identity and meaning in life, you may dismiss their queries as irrelevant. You may even find them irritating! Reading the book prepares parents as it gives insights of why boys think, feel and behave the way they do. Knowing what to expect can unload your mind off unnecessary anxieties. You know what’s normal and what’s not when it happens. For example, it’s normal for tweens to push against limits as they are trying to assert their independence, but it’s not normal for a tween to be violently defiant.

Title: Cool Mum Super Dad Price: RM39.90 For many parents, the moment a child is born, a question pops up: Now what? Parenting means different things to different people. For some, it’s a source of delight and contentment; for others, it is a bittersweet and sometimes mind-boggling affair, full of surprises, that stretches them to the limit virtually every minute of the day. Cool Mum Super Dad is written especially with the latter in mind. Discover:

Comments from Jamilah in (13) , Syarifudd huddin (21)

Back (L-R) - Alia (18), Saifuddin (23 ), Salahuddin (21 Sirajuddin (10), ), Safiuddin (15); Jamilah, husban Front (L-R) d Ahmad Fakhri Hamzah, Syarifud din (13)

Title: Cool Boys Super Sons Price: RM39.90 Jamilah Samian outlines the practical steps parents can take so boys choose to be responsible for their behaviour and make a real effort to be the best they can be. Based on sound research and interviews with numerous parents, teachers, boys and motivational trainers who have dealt with thousands of boys, it is an ideal read if your son is a ‘tween’ (aged 10+ to 12) or a teen (aged 13 to 19). Cool Boys Super Sons offers tips on: - Trust - why it makes a difference - How to help boys to be better organised - How to spur boys’ interest towards school work - Being a single parent or a step-parent to boys - Blended families - Sex education

Information on books are provided by MPH Distributors. All books featured are available at major bookstores nationwide. July - August 2009

Parents’ Time Out

Everyone deserves a break, especially parents!

Disneyland HK It may be the smallest of all the Disneylands but it still promises a fun-filled day for the young and young-at-heart. Getting there is easiest on the MTR (Hong Kong’s underground rail network), which has a direct connection to Disneyland station.

CMY

Entering Disneyland HK, you will first walk down Main Street USA. Resist the temptation to pop into the shops if you can – they are filled with loads of Disney goodies and souvenirs. At the end of Main Street, you will arrive at the front of Sleeping Beauty’s Castle. To the right is Tomorrowland, with Fantasyland in front of you and Adventureland on your left. First stop is Tomorrowland where you should check out Buzz Lightyear’s Astro Blaster ride. This promises great fun as you get to shoot your laser guns to beat the evil Zorg! After that, get in line for Space Mountain, a rollercoaster ride in space. It is definitely not for the faint hearted as you are thrown around at high speed, hurtling through outer space. For something a little milder, join Winnie the Pooh and his friends on their adventure in Hundred Acre Wood. The perennial favourite, It’s A Small World, is the best one yet as it features popular Disney characters as you journey through the different continents. Look out, too, for Aladdin, Lilo and Stich, and The Lion King as you take a leisurely boat ride from Paris to China to the wilds of Africa to the North Pole, humming the Small World song on your way. Make sure you watch some of the great shows that play daily at Disneyland HK. The Festival of the Lion King offers wonderful family entertainment featuring most of the songs from the beloved animated 18

July - August 2009

movie. The Golden Mickeys showcase songs from selected Disney movies and lots of familiar characters, including, of course, Mickey, Minnie, Donald Duck and Goofy. A visit to Disneyland is not complete without the parades. In the summer, there is Mickey’s Waterworks Parade which the children love as it features colourful floats, Disney characters, original music and lots and lots of water keeping guests cool (and wet) during the hot summer days. The popular Disney Parade every evening is a must-see with all the Disney characters, songs and fireworks. For more information, check out www.hongkongdisneyland.com

We Say, They Say

Forum for parents and kids!

My son’s interests change from day to day! Is he just going through self discovery or is he really just giving us a hard time? One day he’s into football then the next, he wants golf! - M.K. Kamis, Desa Sri Hartamas

DoYou

They think they’re old enough to make up their own minds. I forbid my boy from joining this school band because I know the kids there are bad influences for him. Sure I let him make his own decisions but I have to be there to offer advice and guidance so he’ll make good informed judgments. It is a parent’s duty to develop their children’s sense of right and wrong. - S. Mahendran, Mont Kiara

Understand

Today’s

Tweens? Hormones are kicking in, responsibilities are mounting and their schedules are getting fully booked. To make matters worse, there are the struggles with changing relationships with family and friends and they have no clue just what’s going on with their bodies. Help! Pre-teens are misunderstood, too!

Academic stress, approaching adolescence, and for some, depression. These are just some of the social pressures and challenges tweens are facing, not to mention bodily changes. Instead of being hard on them, every parent needs to empathise with what they are going through. They need all the understanding they can get as this can even be a dangerous time for them. This is a phase of development where they are in a constant state of transition. In three years, they move on to higher school levels, puberty and increasing responsibilities at home and elsewhere. They also have to contend with changing family roles, peer pressure, exposure to dangerous behaviours by other tweens, including vices, drugs, sex and a whole lot more. What parents need to do is to put themselves in their shoes. This forum is intended to help parents relate to and better understand their tweens.

On Academic Pressure

They Say >> First there’s schoolwork. Then, there’s homework. And then, we have after-school activities and chores at home. I need to come up for air! Can’t my parents see that I’m burned out!? - Madjid, 12 20

July - August 2009

The only great thing about moving on to middle school is the sports club and other extra-curricular activities. I’m not happy about changing classes and having to make new friends. - Pearl, 12

We Say >> Now that my son is 12, I expect a lot more from his grades. Play school is over and it’s now time to get serious with academics. He is not a baby anymore and he can do better after all the money we’re spending on term fees and tuition. - Nigesh Singh, Silayang

We Say, They Say

On Tween Dating

They Say >>

I can tell that my daughter is both excited and apprehensive about moving on to the next school level. This is the time for her to really develop socially, academically and intellectually. All I can do to help get her off on the right foot is to help her understand what to expect. - Geraldine Ng, Kajang

On Typical Tween Behaviour

They Say >> My parents complain that I’m always moody. They should understand that I only need a little down time. - Chris,12 I feel fat and ugly compared to other girls in school. I should go on a diet and be as skinny as the rest of them. - Bianca, 11 My parents send me to taekwondo class. I don’t really feel like doing that anymore. What I want is to study how to play the drums and play in a band but they won’t let me. - Gerry, 11 I want to go to summer camp but it’s never up to me. Why can’t I make my own decisions now? Mum and Dad always say I should start acting like an adult! - Latha, 10

We Say >> They have mood swings, boy, do they have mood swings! I can only try to be patient and remember what it was like for me to be a tween. I know my daughter is just adjusting to the changes so I try to help her find ways to deal with it positively by giving her time alone or getting her interested in what she likes, such as music. - Michelle Loh, PJ At my daughter’s age, it is only natural that she is feeling negative about her appearance and body image. Her self-esteem has suddenly taken a nosedive. We try to counter that by not pointing out her physical imperfections such as acne and weight gain. We try to keep her focused on how what’s inside is more important than what’s outside. - Rosalind Loy, Cheras

I like this boy in school and I think I can already say he is my boyfriend. He’s asked my parents if we could go out on a group date but they didn’t let us! We won’t be alone! Don’t my parents trust me? - Sue Ann, 12

We Say >> I know they’re young but they’re not that innocent anymore. Today’s tweens are not like us whose idea of dating at that age meant walking hand in hand at the park or sharing an ice cream sundae. These kids are exposed to sexual ideas, no thanks to the media and the internet! - Cheng Suet Kay, Ulu Klang If ever I allow my daughter to go on a date, it would be with adult supervision and there would be restrictions as to where they can go. But the best safety net for any parent is to instill good family values in their kids and make clear the difference between healthy and unhealthy relationships. - Santhi L., Ampang

On Tween Depression

They Say >> My parents moved me to this new school and I miss my old friends. All the kids in my new school are bullies. I wish my parents listened to me but they never cared about my feelings. I don’t care much for studying anymore. - Derek, 10 I’m frustrated with myself because I can’t seem to do anything right! I don’t care about anything anymore! - Ivan, 11

We Say >> My son is almost always down in the dumps and is frequently moody. Is this just part of the normal trials and tribulations of growing up? Family friends suggest that he might be depressed. Depressed about what? - S. Joachim, Titiwangsa My daughter is not sleeping well. She doesn’t eat much and she’s been withdrawing from her usual friends and activities. We also noticed a decline in her grades and a lack of self esteem. I hope this is just a temporary slump. - A. Ridzuan, Sg. Buloh July - August 2009

We Say, They Say

Forum for parents and kids!

Parents share life lessons with other parents

How to Appreciate the Tween TV Phenomena

If you're unsure about your child's behavior, ask a pediatrician, a psychologist, or a psychiatrist for an opinion. Also, ask other family members, your child's teacher or friends for their thoughts concerning your child’s behaviour. Depression in children, when left untreated, can lead to a number of other serious problems including drug and alcohol abuse, relationship problems, and even suicide. - KC Leong, Subang

On Social Pressures

They Say >>

We Say >> I remember at that age the enormous pressures for us to be introduced to smoking and alcohol. But these times are more dangerous. I take every possible opportunity to reinforce our family’s rules and values regarding vices, drugs, dating, sleepovers and other issues that any parent should be concerned about. - Robin Lai, Sg. Long I had a heart-to-heart talk with my daughter about how she’d react when confronted by friends to smoke or drink alcohol. I have to stay on top of the situation by knowing her friends and their parents. More importantly, I try to let her feel that she can talk to me about anything. - Shirley Yeoh, Melacca

On Internet Safety & Social Networking

They Say >> Yeah, I’m on MySpace and Facebook. All my friends are and I wouldn’t be “in” if I wasn’t. - Greg, 11 I wish my Dad would give me more privacy and let me have my computer back in my room. Why do I have to go to the family room just to use it? - Brian, 12

We Say >> Kids nowadays are tech savvy. That is the generation they live in and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. But the reality is that there are perverts and sexual predators online who pose as tweens and they can extract kids’ personal info, phone numbers, home addresses and talk trash with them. And so, I put the computer in a centralised area – our living room. Better to monitor their online behaviour rather than let them lock up in their room for hours on their computer! - Evonne Law, Damansara Heights

On Giving them Space

They Say >> My mum treats me like a baby! She barges into my room when my friends are visiting. And she insists that I kiss her and she even calls me “honey” or “sweetie”. It’s embarrassing! All my friends tease me that I’m a Mama’s Boy! - Dexter, 10 I don’t wanna be seen with my mum anymore. When she drops me off at my friends’ house, I ask her to do it two or three houses away. Or else she’d hug me and give long goodbyes right at their doorstep and they’d all make fun of me! - Douglas, 11 I love my Dad but he’s my parent, not my best buddy! I wish he’d stop acting like we’re best friends. - Eugene, 12

We Say >> It hurts to see my son embarrassed of me but I know it doesn’t mean that he doesn’t need me anymore. I try not to get hurt and take it personally by remembering that he is just going through a transition from child to adolescent. It’s now time to back off on things we used to do together. Now, he’d rather be with his friends and take on a little independence. It’s only right that I give him space instead of waiting in the wings every time he turns around. - E. Rahim, Bkt. Jalil

Photos courtesy of Disney Channel

All the boys in school are trying out smoking at least one time. It’s a rite of passage to this fraternity we have. If I don’t try it once, I won’t fit in. I won’t belong. - Brian, 12

Parenting 101

The tweens have inherited the TV world. Pop culture now belongs to 10 to 12 year olds and their pre-teen posse. And the Disney Channel machine is laughing all the way to the bank with their marketing deluge success on tweens. Has High School Musical, The Jonas Brothers and Hannah Montana burrowed deep into our tweens’ psyches? Like, um … so totally!

Tweens have always been a formidable force. When we, parents, were tweens, we propelled talentless but cute boy bands to fame and made a superstar of Barbie. Recently, High School Musical won the hearts of tweens worldwide when it premiered on Disney Channel with more than 7.5 million viewers tuned in. It was aired over and over again and the soundtrack became the top-selling album of 2006. The years that followed continued to ride on the tween machine with two more HSM sequels (and double the number of TV viewers at 17.2 million), a tour, an ice show and torrents of Zac Efron and HSM cast merchandise (if only their faces could be put on vegetables, too!).

My boy used to worship the ground I walk on, we were inseparable! Now he almost treats me like a stranger. I don’t take it as rejection, though. This phase isn’t about me; it’s about my child trying to figure out who he is. But while I give him independence, I still make sure he’s safe by checking on him periodically. For example, he can hit the malls with his friends if he wants to but not without an adult chaperone lurking within distance. - A. Vijayakumar, Old Klang Road 22

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Parenting 101

Parents share life lessons with other parents

Following its phenomenal success, the High School Musical generation (much like our Grease generation) has since dictated new objects of pre-teen veneration. And the pre-adolescent screeching is now in adoration of other tween-centric music acts and tween excitation vehicles like Hannah Montana and the Jonas Brothers. Tweens have fallen for the charms of any Jonas Brothers or Miley Cyrus-centric merchandise they could get their hands on. To the delight of advertisers, tweens are annoyingly persistent at nagging and inundating their parents to purchase anything with the faces of their idols and TV icons slapped on it. And parents are only so eager to make their kids happy (and preoccupied whilst buying themselves some timeout, too. Why not?). Here are what some parents have to say about these tween TV shows and how grateful they are for entertainment that’s innocent, encouraging and age-appropriate. “We usually watch TV as a family so we look forward to something new, fresh and clean to enjoy. But just when you think a wholesome show is on, sex, drugs, crime and other things we want to hide from our kids sneak up.” - Ariff, lawyer & Dad to two tweens “One too many times, we’d watch shows that seem to be OK for kids in the beginning. Then out of the blue, you’d see a scene with a couple making out or a violent scene. As many shows rated ‘safe’ for kids are like this, it seemed to have become more and more acceptable over time.” - Hazreq K., Financial Analyst “A lot of these shows on Disney Channel are actually very good. They are about kids their age and the storylines tend to deal with tween issues such as friendship, peers, relationships, family,

Parents share life lessons with other parents

"Tweens are annoyingly persistent at nagging and inundating their parents to purchase anything with the faces of their idols and TV icons slapped on it."

Parenting 101

school and growing up. There’s a pinch of drama, a touch of humour and a lot of music that really appeal to young viewers.” - Mohan, Admin Manager “My daughter’s favourite is That’s So Raven. The lead character has psychic abilities unknown to her family and friends. And she is hilarious! Of course, which girl my daughter’s age doesn’t like Hannah Montana too? She can seriously sing and, at the same time, crack a jaw busting joke. Thousands of young girls see her as their big sister. And I think it’d be safe to leave my daughter in her care for half an hour at a time.” - P. Ainuddin, Housewife “I have two tween boys, aged 10 and 12, and they absolutely adore Disney Channel’s The Suite Life of Zach & Cody. What’s not to love? I’ve watched this show with my boys and it’s so funny how they always drive their mum and others crazy at the hotel where she sings and where they live. The twins, like my boys, always have trouble a-brewing but they end up saving the day anyway!.” - Karen Low, PR Executive & proud mum of two tween boys “I’ll choose Camp Rock any day instead of letting my 13 year old watch MTV and its saucy videos. These decent tween TV shows are something we can all sit down as a family for over a box or two of pizza. You’d be surprised just how much fun you can have altogether. I guarantee it’d do a whole lot for parents, too.” - Bernie Owen, Advertising Sales Exec “The problem with families nowadays is that everyone has his or her own TV set in their respective rooms with their own ASTRO decoders! What every family should have is a family television hour. Instead of each one retreating into their own

rooms while the children watch their shows in the family room, TV time should be time spent together. This gives parents a chance to reinforce family values and learn more about what their kids find interesting and funny.” - Wayne Siew, Businessman & father of four “How many television shows can we comfortably let our children watch nowadays? That’s why High School Musical was such a breath of fresh air for us! I never thought I’d be so interested in the movie, together with my son and daughter! All the right elements were there: music, drama, action and humour! Most of all, the storyline teaches kids that they can be whoever they want to be, regardless of what others think.” - S. Razzia, Freelance Writer “We all know how influential movies can be. So Disney movies like High School Musical are very much welcomed by parents as they influence kids in a positive way. If you can get yourself to sit down with your tweens and watch the DVD with them, you’d see that aside from being very entertaining in a wholesome way, the messages are very good, too. It teaches kids to follow their hearts and be who they want to be, to figure out what is most important in life and develop good moral values. Parents would find themselves at home watching decent movies like these with their kids and, at the same time, give them a chance to discuss with their own kids the plot and the issues tweens face.” - Mariyana, School Teacher & Mum of three

July - August 2009

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Straight talk on news & issues affecting children & families

atte re behind

Closed Doors

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Domestic Violence Defined > In 2007, the police recorded 3,756 reports of domestic violence compared to the previous year of 3,264 reports. There is no record of how many go unreported, but in a random survey conducted in 1998, it was estimated that at least 40% of women in Malaysia aged between 16 years to 60 years experienced some form of domestic violence. Women tend to be the usual victims of domestic violence, also referred to as spousal abuse. But the abuse may also include violent and abusive acts between family members, affecting people of all races and classes, and may take different forms including physical violence, threats of violence, insults, emotional abuse, economic deprivation or sexual assault.

The Domestic Violence Act 1994 (Act 521) (Akta Keganasan Rumah Tangga 1994 [Akta 521]) of Malaysia defines domestic violence as any of the following acts: > wilfully or knowingly placing, or attempting to place, the victim in fear of physical injury; > causing physical injury to the victim by such act which is known or ought to have been known would result in physical injury; > compelling the victim by force or threat to engage in any conduct or act, sexual or otherwise, from which the victim has a right to abstain; > confining or detaining the victim against the victim's will; or > causing mischief or destruction or damage to property with intent to cause or knowing that it is likely to cause distress or annoyance to the victim; by a person against his or her spouse, his or her own former spouse, a child, an incapacitated adult or any other member of the family.

Violence at home. Domestic abuse in the family is becoming commonplace where mostly women suffer in the hands of their partner or their very own flesh and blood. Most tolerate and stay in the abusive relationship, while only a few cry out for help and see themselves as they really are – victims. This report teaches victims how they can take on their abuser and fight back.

“Domestic violence is about POWER and CONTROL,” observed Shoba Aiyar, Social Work Manager of the Women’s Aid Organisation (WAO; see related story on page 30), which helps victims of domestic violence and their children. “These men like to exert their power to control women and get what they want. It has nothing to do with poverty, stress or alcohol. They use these factors as an excuse to beat their wives only and not anyone else around them. It is a learned behaviour in a patriarchal society, where men dominate in all spheres of social life and family matters,” she stressed. But she also notes that women are usually tolerant and forgiving, giving in to the violence unconditionally until it becomes unbearable. “Many women said they tolerated and stayed in the abusive relationship for the sake of the children. They do not want to feel guilty and deprive the children of things he, as a bread winner could provide. Some women decided to leave when they were abused in front of children, raped in front of them, or when the children, themselves told the mother to leave so as to calm the situation at home,” noted Shoba.

It happens once. A wife is shocked to find her spouse come home only to receive his brutal blows for no apparent reason. Beaten and bruised, she blames herself for something wrong she must have done to deserve her husband’s aggression. Or it could’ve been that he’s just had a stressful day at work. So all is forgiven. But the suffering takes place over and over again. Embarrassed of her predicament, she shuts out the oft-repeated violence, covers up the bruises and copes with the situation. When she decides to turn to family and friends, she is usually advised to tolerate it, often for the sake of the children. And tolerate, she does. Some take it for two to five years before leaving their aggressor. Others endure the suffering for decades. The abuse tends to worsen over time, sometimes resulting in serious injury or even death.

July - August 2009

Straight talk on news & issues affecting children & families

Stop Being a Willing Victim! > Any woman who is being abused by her husband should protect herself and her children from domestic violence. It is her legal right. No one deserves to be abused and there are no excuses for it. Telling someone about it is the first step to getting help and finding a way out of the violence. “When she realises she is in an abusive situation, she should not be shy and keep it a secret. He knows she will not tell anyone because of the shame and embarrassment. Once she has come to the realisation, she should warn him against doing it, telling him she would leave him, take action and then move out,” advised Shoba. “A woman must know and acknowledge that she is not his possession and that she need not get his permission. Many do not know their rights and believe that only the husband can give the divorce. She has rights over the children and the right to make her own decision,” she added.

Straight talk on news & issues affecting children & families

The collaborative efforts of the Department of Social Welfare (Jabatan Kebajikan Masyarakat Malaysia), the Royal Malaysian Police and the courts are on hand to provide assistance and protection to victims of domestic violence and their children.

to the commission of the offence involving domestic violence. It will cease to have effect upon the completion of the investigations.

> Make a written report of all violence acts committed by your offender against you; > Give as much information and evidence (witnesses, police report, medical report, recordings of abusive telephone messages) as possible to prove the severity of your case (state the date, time and location of each incident); > Get a certified copy of the police report.

The social welfare officer will > assist you and your children in applying for an interim protection order from the court; > assist you in getting medical treatment at the nearest public hospital if you are injured. Ask for a medical report; > provide or arrange for you an alternative residence or temporary shelter if required; > accompany you to your residence to collect personal belongings; and/or > assist you in getting your children settled in their new life and school if needed.

The Police will investigate the matter and decide if your offender should be charged or not. This is done within 24 hours of arrest.

The IPO is different from a Domestic Violence Protection Order which can be sought during any criminal proceedings under the

Step 1: Lodge a Police Report

Get Help! Protect Yourself & Your Children from Domestic Violence! >

Penal Code (Kanun Keseksaan) where the accused is charged with an offence committed under circumstances that falls within the definition of domestic violence. An order can: > grant the protected person right of exclusive occupation of the shared residence or a specified part of it (regardless of whether the shared residence is solely owned or leased by the person against whom the order is made or jointly owned or leased by the parties); > forbid the person against whom the order is made from entering any protected person's place of residence or place of employment or school or other institution or from making personal contact with any protected person other than in the presence of an enforcement officer or such other person as may be specified in the order;

> If you wish to obtain protection from domestic violence without having to file for a divorce, although you can do so, you can apply for a DOMESTIC VIOLENCE PROTECTION ORDER from the court restraining your spouse from using or threatening to use violence against you and your children. 28

July - August 2009

“

Domestic violence is about POWER and CONTROL.

Oftentimes, neighbours become privy of the violence that is taking place next door. But “minding one’s own business” should not apply when you know that someone may be in grave danger.

The Domestic Violence Act 1994 (Act 521) (Malay: Akta Keganasan Rumah Tangga 1994 (Akta 521)) provides civil remedies for legal protection and relief to victims of domestic violence whilst criminal law seeks punishment for domestic violence offenders pursuant to the Penal Code (Act 574) (Kanun Keseksaan (Akta 574)).

> If you are at any stage through a divorce process, you can apply to the court for a restraining order for protection. You should contact the solicitor or lawyer representing you in your divorce proceeding.

“The Department of Social Welfare either helps the abused women in getting the IPO, counsels the couple so that she can go back to a better situation or to make their relationship work better. They also offer financial assistance should a woman with many school-going children want to live separated from her husband,” advised Shoba. “There are many women’s organisations like AWAM, WCC, and SIS, who give legal advice and advice on how to handle domestic violence situations. There are many more charitable homes like TiRatana and religious based homes, who offer shelter for women and children,” she added.

What Outsiders Can Do to Help >

What course of action can abused women take to seek redress for the crimes committed against them? The law exists to protect the rights of abused women. Do not allow others to dissuade you from filing a report nor convince you to return to your husband or abuser.

If your husband has used or threatened to with violence against you and your children, remedies and sanctions are available:

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Depending on the strength of the evidence and prospect of conviction, the police may detain the offender for more than twentyfour (24) hours but not more than fourteen (14) days if an extension has been granted by the court.

Step 2: Apply for an INTERIM PROTECTION ORDER The Police will refer you to the Social Welfare Department which will assist you in applying for an INTERIM PROTECTION ORDER (IPO). This is a temporary and urgent legal protection order that can be sought pending investigations by the police following information

> require the person against whom the order is made to permit any protected person to enter the shared residence, or to enter the residence of the person against whom the order is made, accompanied by any enforcement officer for the purpose of collecting the protected person's or persons personal belongings; > require the person against whom the order is made to avoid making written or telephone communication with any protected person and specifying the limited circumstances in which such communication is permitted; > require the person against whom the order is made to permit any protected person to have the continued use of a vehicle which has previously been ordinarily used by the protected person or persons;

“An outsider can help call the police when a neighbour is being beaten, crying for help and at times tell the abuser to stop it. He will say he can do anything to her as he is her husband but we have to stand up and say no, he cannot, it is a criminal offence and he has to stop it,” Shoba insisted. What’s more, she added: “An outsider can help listen to an abused woman’s story non-judgementally, give her comfort, and help her when she needs assistance like moving out, seeking professional help, looking after her children while she does her chores, keep her belongings for her when she moves out. Most importantly, tell her it is not her fault as no one deserves to be battered.”

Enforcing the Law > Shoba feels that the law has enough teeth to protect women’s rights. However, there is still a lot to be desired when it comes to enforcing the law and making true strides to end violence against women. “The laws for women’s protection are in place. It’s only the enforcement (more resources and change of attitudes) of these laws that is not happening effectively as it should. Women who are empowered and have good resources can get what they want; it takes more effort for others,” she underscored.

Conclusion > If you are in an abusive relationship, get out there and fight! Conservatives and the traditional way of thinking would tell you to keep everything a secret and in the privacy of your home. But domestic violence is the biggest violation of bodily integrity. The violence ends only when we’ve built up our sense of rights and of outrage when one is violated. For help, contact the Women’s Aid Organisation at 03-7957 5636 / 0636 (WAO Centre), 03-7956 3488 (Counselling Line), 03-7960 3030 (Sexual Assault Helpline) or email: wao@po.jaring.my References www.lawyerment.com; www.unifem.org July - August 2009

Kidz for Kids Outreach

Kidz for Kids Outreach is dedicated to kids in need. We believe in helping charitable organisations that support children.

Kidz for Kidz Outreach is dedicated to kids in need. We believe in helping charitable organisations that support children.

• To offer emotional and social support and after-care to women, resident or otherwise; • To undertake and encourage research into factors contributing to the inequality and subordination of women; • To undertake and advocate the eradication of factors contributing to the biased treatment of women through law, policy and institutional reforms. The main services offered by WAO to battered women and their children are: • Shelter The Refuge provides shelter, counselling and child support. On average, it houses 100 women and 140 children annually, made up of abused migrant workers, trafficked women, single mothers and female asylum seekers. • Face-to-face counselling Professional social workers offer personal counselling sessions for those who want it, but who are not necessarily seeking shelter. • Telephone counselling Every year, social workers handle approximately 1,500 calls from women who face domestic violence, rape and sexual abuse. They also answer queries on marriage, divorce and basic legal matters. There are four lines available, with one specifically for sexual assault cases. Other than this, it also offers support services to former residents. The WAO Child Care Centre opened in 1990 for children of exRefuge residents. The first of its kind in Malaysia, the centre provides a home, education and support system to the children. It is not that mothers are abandoning them; rather, they are placed there so that the mothers are able to work full-time, knowing they are well taken care of.

Kidz for Kids Outreach

Another support service is the child sponsorship Anak Angkat Programme. Supported by donations and sponsorships, the programme was launched in 1985 as a pilot project to meet the educational and schooling needs of the children, and has been running ever since. It is hoped that with this programme, the children are able to lead a normal life that is free from violence. WAO has heard the accounts of innumerable battered women seeking assistance from the relevant authorities. At every turn, they were met with indifference, where they were advised to be more patient, or not to provoke their husbands. Such apathetic responses are due to the fact that many still do not regard domestic violence as a serious matter. No matter how much laws are amended, it is society’s perception that must first change. People need to understand and acknowledge that no one has the right to abuse another, and that there are no exceptions to this. It is for this reason that WAO’s efforts are highly commendable, their team’s endeavours praiseworthy. The Women’s Aid Organisation can be reached at 03-7957 5636/ 0636 (WAO Centre), 03-7956 3488 (Counselling Line), 03-7960 3030 (Sexual Assault Helpline) or email wao@po.jaring.my. For more info, visit www.wao.org.my References www.wao.org.my ‘Celebrating 25 Years for Women’s Publication (WAO)

WAO

Stopping Domestic Violence, Creating Change

“WAO’s fundamental belief is that no one deserves to be battered. We believe that all human beings have the right to self-determination and should have control over the conditions that shape their lives.” The Women’s Aid Organisation (WAO) is an important organisation as it represents hope for the oppressed and the suppressed. Its work is vital if, as a society, Malaysians are to understand that gender should never be a factor in how someone is treated. Domestic violence is a serious and widespread problem. For more than 20 years, WAO has provided shelter for thousands of battered women and offered support services to tens of thousands of them, mostly on the issue of domestic violence. WAO is an independent, non-religious, non-governmental organisation. Its mission is to create and promote respect, protection and fulfilment of equal rights for women, as well as to work towards the elimination of discrimination against women to bring about equality between women and men. 30

July - August 2009

The organisation was founded by both feminists and citizens devoted to social welfare. Tun Tan Siew Sin, the founding grandfather and the first patron, recognised the needs of women suffering from abuse. In fact, he cared so much that he donated his Tun Razak award money to help address those needs. Committed to confronting violence against women, the organisation was established in 1982 when it opened WAO Refuge, the country’s first safe haven for battered women. WAO is involved in public education to create awareness about violence against women and women’s rights. It also does advocacy on legal reform, particularly on policies and laws pertaining to discrimination against women. Among WAO’s objectives are: • To provide, on request, temporary refuge services to women and their children suffering abuse;

Anak Angkat Programme Under the Child Sponsorship Programme, monthly donations are needed to meet the daily living costs and school needs of ex-WAO residents’ children. Sadly, many of them are on the waiting list and WAO is appealing for sponsors to support continuance of this programme. A monthly sponsorship of RM70 per child will go towards items such as school uniforms, books, stationery and milk. It is hoped that sponsors are able to commit to helping a child for a full year at RM860 (RM20 administrative fee). Sponsors will receive updates of the child(ren)’s progress at school over the year, and general news about how they are doing. WAO also holds an annual party to provide an opportunity for everyone to meet. WAO also welcomes one-off donations.

July - August 2009

Celebrity Corner

Kidz exclusive interview feature with the stars

Celebrity Corner

more about sports and what we’re doing in school. Their mums and dads are like producers and directors too so it’s just normal.”

Hollyw

Tweens g n i n Fan

By Janet Susan R. Nepales

Wearing a lovely Marc Jacobs dress, Elle Fanning was, as she described herself, looking “girlie girlie”. The 11-year-old thespian is charming, confident and eloquent. Just like her older sister Dakota, they are both very intelligent and comfortable working in Hollywood since both started in show business at a very young age. But unlike her older sister, Elle is more carefree, casual and candid.

Photos courtesy of: Janet Susan R. Nepales, www.thegioidienanh.vn, www.elle-fanning.net

Interviewed at the Four Seasons Hotel in Los Angeles, Elle reveals, “I was only 18 months when I did my first job in ‘I Am Sam’. I played Dakota at a younger age and so I just started my acting career. My mum used to read the scripts when I was really little but now I read them myself. I have the final say but we both read them.” Born Mary Elle Fanning in Conyers, Georgia, the smart and charming Elle is the daughter of Joy Arrington, a former professional tennis player, and Steve Fanning, a former minor league baseball player for St. Louis Cardinals who now works as an electronics salesman in Los Angeles. The half German, half Irish girl reveals that she looks up to her older sister for inspiration and guidance. She says, “Yeah definitely, my sister is my mentor because I want to have the same career that she has. I always look up to her. She’s so nice and I like everything about her. I love her so much. In fact, when I saw my sister doing acting and I thought that looked like fun. If she can do it, I can do it too. ” Elle, who appeared in the movie “Phoebe in Wonderland” with Felicity Huffman and in the animation “Monsters vs. Aliens” where she was the voice of the younger Susan Murphy, the older character portrayed by Reese Whitherspoon, is busy filming “Vivaldi” as Christina and the “Nutcracker: The Untold Story” as Mary. She says of working with Huffman and Patricia Clarkson in “Phoebe in Wonderland”, “I learned so much from Felicity and Patricia because they’re such good actresses. They’re really amazing. I just feel I learned a lot because they helped me get into the character because Felicity seemed like my real mum and that helped me a lot.”

July - August 2009

On working with Brad and Cate, she reveals, “I met Brad and Cate when we were doing ‘The Curious Case of Benjamin Button’. They are one of the nicest people I’ve ever met and then one time Cate was working the same time I was working. I never got to see them on ‘Babel’ because they were filming in Morocco and I was filming in Mexico but they’re very nice and when I saw ‘The Curious Case of Benjamin Button,’ I loved it. It was really, really good and they were both so good in it.”

Elle Fanning & Jaden Smith

Once in a while, we meet outstanding children who are breaking into the Hollywood celluloid world. Two kids who are carving a name for themselves are Elle Fanning, the younger sister of actress Dakota Fanning, and Jaden Smith, the 11-year-old son of actor Will Smith and actress Jada Pinkett Smith.

Elle

One of the highlights of Elle’s acting career is when she played Debbie, the daughter of Brad Pitt and Cate Blanchett in the Oscar winning movie, “Babel”. Later on in 2008, she would portray the younger version of Cate Blanchett in the much-talked-about film, “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button”.

In 2010, she is also scheduled to do “Somewhere” under the helm of award-winning director Sofia Coppola which will be filmed in Los Angeles and Italy. Elle, who at the age of four won her first role independent of her sister in the comedy “Daddy Day Care”, admits that she does not mind being compared to her older sister. She reveals, “A lot of people say we do sort of look alike because we have the same blonde hair and blue eyes and everything. We both have the same style. We’re very girlie (laughter). I love vintage clothes and I love fashion and sketching. I love designing and she likes that too but we’re different too. She is a lot older than me but I love being compared to her because she’s like the nicest person I know (laughter). We’re not exactly the same because I know no one’s exactly the same.” Home-schooled until 2007, Elle has now started attending public school recently. She discloses, “I am no longer home-schooled. I go to a normal school now. I was home-schooled from kindergarten to third grade and then in fourth grade, I started regular school. I am now still in regular school.”

One of the bad habits that she has, she admits, is biting her nails. She narrates, “I bite my nails really bad and I’m trying to stop it. I can’t. I don’t know. It’s something I do. Sometimes, I try not to step on the cracks like I still do that but then I’m like is that bad? It’s not really bad.” Elle shares with us the gem of wisdom which her parents have taught her. She reveals, “My parents have always said to just be nice to everybody even if they’re mean to you. Always be yourself. Don’t be mean to other people.” Asked what she would have been if she was not an actress, Elle immediately replies, “I think I’ll always be an actress but if I were not an actress, I would like to be a dancer or a fashion designer. I can have my own fashion magazine and call it Elle.”

Jade

h t i m S

Despite her busy working schedule, Elle finds time to enjoy school work. She says, “I love acting, singing and dancing but I also enjoy playing volleyball and basketball at school. I love writing. It is my favourite subject. I also like science because we have a nice science lab. I feel like I understand it more.” Her favorite actresses include Jodie Foster and Meryl Streep “because I’m a big fan of ‘The Devil Wears Prada’. I love that movie. I also like Beyonce, Alicia Keys, Taylor Swift and Jennifer Hudson.” She admits that she loves to collect Barbie dolls and Madam Alexander dolls. She says, “My favorite Barbies are the ice skating Barbie and the bride Barbie. I collect these two since I always get them for my birthday or for Christmas. The bride Barbie is really pretty. She has blonde hair and is wearing a big white dress. I always keep those on the shelf because when my cousin comes over to play, I don’t want her to mess those up.” As for books, she is currently reading the “Twilight” book. She says, “I am now on page 17. I have to go on reading because it is like 400 pages.” She adds, “In school, I am not teased for being a movie star. My friends and I don’t talk about show business that much. We talk July - August 2009

Celebrity Corner

Kidz exclusive interview feature with the stars

the room crying. I asked him and he said, ‘Mummy asked me what I wanted to do tomorrow and I said nothing. I told her a lie. I couldn’t tell her we were planning a surprise for her. Now I feel bad that I told a lie to my mummy.’ So I told him to wake up his mummy and tell her everything and that’s exactly what he did. So that messed up my six months worth of surprise (laughter) that I had been planning. He told her everything from her family coming to people from her high school that she hasn’t seen. But Jaden is just that kind of kid.” Jaden who also did “The Suite Life of Zack and Cody” in 2008 is scheduled to do “Kung Fu Kid” in 2010. Although he has done press conferences and red carpet appearances, Jaden remains unaffected by all the frills of the business. Will points out, “My son is unaffected by all of this. He just wants to play video games and hang out with his friends. He is not focusing on this at all. He is just a typical 11-year-old kid.” Then he adds, “Jaden is what my grandmother would describe as an old soul. He’s been there before. He’s lived other lives. He’s one of those types of kids.” Will admits that he is raising Jaden the way his father has raised him. “There is no such thing as a Plan B, only a Plan A. My father tells me that if you spend time thinking of failure, it distracts you and there is magnetism to failure if you consider it too much.”

The curly-top boy with the big smile walked into the room of the hotel where a group of international journalists were going to interview him. Jaden Christopher Syre Smith, the 11-year-old son of actor-singer Will Smith and actress-singer Jada Pinkett Smith, has inherited the good looks and charisma of his Hollywood royalty parents. Handsomely dressed in a suit, Jaden is not your typical Hollywood brat star. He is sensitive, caring and honest.

He points out that he doesn’t encourage Jaden or any of his kids to be an actor. “We like to watch a little bit and see what they gravitate towards and then assist them in that area,” he says. He adds, “Jaden has shown an ability to perform so we will encourage him along those lines but we really respect our children’s desires and our children’s needs to be their own people and choose the things that they want to do. We only demand excellence in what they choose to do. If they are going to do it, they have to do it to the best of their ability and by doing it to the best of their ability that’s how they help themselves and they help their family and their extended groups to excel.”

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July - August 2009

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One of the stories that Will narrated about Jaden is when Will was planning a surprise birthday party for Jada. “Suddenly, he came into

CMY

Alex

Will adds that if Jaden understands the situation, “he has this bizarre emotional agility that I can’t even take credit for. He just understands. When he looks at people he can tell if you’ve had a good day or you’ve had a bad day.”

These great individuals share one thing in common.

o by

The actor who appeared with his son in the critically acclaimed movie, “The Pursuit of Happyness”, reveals, “He can feel things. You just explain to him what the situation is like, for example, when we did the bathroom scene in the movie ‘The Pursuit’, he said why are we sleeping in the bathroom. I said well, the big Chris (my character in the movie) and the little Chris didn’t have enough money to sleep in a hotel. Jaden said well, didn’t they have any friends. I told him they didn’t live in that city. He sat there for a second and then he said that must have been sad and I said yeah, it was very sad. Then he said okay, I’m ready (laughter).”

Phot

Says his dad, Will Smith, “Of all my children, Jaden is the most sensitive and he’s the one who feels other people’s problems and he’s the one which has always expressed a desire to act.”

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DSelf-Esteem In Focus

Education

Retraining the Brain

eveloping

Children

Find out how research based programmes can help overcome learning obstacles and boost learning power.

Terms such as ‘brain plasticity’ and ‘rewiring the brain’ were coined when scientists involved in brain research found that the brain can be ‘re-trained’ to perform optimally. These findings have led to the development of many learning programmes that help children afflicted with learning difficulties, as well as those without such conditions. These programmes can make a marked improvement in the way they think and function in day-to-day tasks.

One of the biggest challenges parents face is that of developing a healthy sense of self-esteem in their children. Self-esteem is a feeling of self worth or ‘good feeling’ about oneself. Children often judge this by how they are accepted and praised by peers and adults who are important to them. Positive self-esteem enables children to face challenges, work cooperatively and attain goals. Children who have a negative sense of self worth tend to focus on failure or problems and tend to avoid challenges. During times of failure, such as getting a low test score, parents can help to build self-esteem by reassuring children that their support is still there. Parents should help them to cope with failure rather than only emphasising their successes. Children need to be aware that life has both showers and sunshine so that they can cope with crises. A parent making a positive statement in the morning can make the difference between a great day and a bad day for a child. However, do beware of excessive flattery, as children will become dismissive of this. Praise them by heightening their sense of inner satisfaction and, thus, internal sense of self-competence rather than just being an external source of esteem.

Parents play a crucial role in laying a solid foundation for children’s sense of self worth. It is important to think about the impact that your words can have on an impressionable child. Developing a sense of self esteem One of the most effective ways to foster positive self-esteem is to help children develop an “I can” mentality. Parents can do this in a number of ways: • Encourage children to be independent • Provide activities where children can achieve success • Provide opportunities that are challenging but not too difficult • Provide opportunities for children to practise skills that they enjoy or are good at • Offer children the chance to express their ideas and feelings • Offer children strategies for working cooperatively with others • Offer real challenges where children really feel they have achieved something • Praise effort as well as attainment Children need to feel that they are respected for thinking positively about themselves. Parents can do this by allowing them to make certain decisions while explaining the reasons behind adult decisions or rules. Children should also be included in conversations and have their views taken seriously. Reading and sharing books, talking about their school day in a positive manner, asking about their friends or about how they are feeling are all key ways for parents to reinforce their children’s sense of self worth.

July - August 2009

Unlike physical disabilities, learning difficulties arise when the brain does not process information as it typically should and has difficulty detecting it. Many afflicted children are bright, creative and seemingly highly intelligent, but continue to underperform in school, regardless of the amount of tuition provided. Some signs parents should look out for include: • a dislike for reading • does not follow instructions • does not like school • cannot sit still • has short attention span • dreamy

In Focus

• confuses left and right • slow in copying The first step to helping children maximise their learning potential is to identify barriers or signs of weaknesses in learning skills. These may be subtle in nature and difficult to detect, especially before they start formal schooling. At KidzGrow centres, children’s learning skills are first evaluated before being recommended to any of the specialised brain enhancement programmes. KidzGrow also has three evidence-based, patented learning programmes that have helped many children in Malaysia. These programmes are widely used internationally, such as in the US, Singapore, Thailand and in Europe. All the programmes are exciting, innovative, effective and most of all, fun. • Fast ForWord - a fun and challenging programme using computers to enhance the brain’s capacity for improved listening, language and reading comprehension. • Play Attention - uses neurofeedback technology that is utilised by NASA and the US Air Force to train their pilots. • Re Vamp- focuses on strengthening visual, auditory and motor skills. Watch your children transform as their confidence grow ‘from zero to hero’ when they overcome learning obstacles which have previously held them back. For more info, contact KidzGrow at 03-6201 0538 (KL) / 04 -261 6228 (Penang), email kl@kidzgrow.com.my / pg@kidzgrow.com.my or visit www.kidzgrow.com.my

For example, be specific by saying ‘Well done for writing all your letters so beautifully’ or ‘You knew so many of the words in that book’ rather than a vague ‘Good job’. Similarly negative statements such as ‘Your work is so untidy’ or ‘You got such low marks’ will simply decrease confidence. Critical comments should show understanding of a child’s effort and offer constructive ideas for future success. Examples include ‘You have come up with some imaginative ideas, perhaps you could try a different pen so that you can write a little neater’ and ‘I think you tried really hard with that test; maybe if you read a little more you might do even better next time’. These statements show children that you are aware of the effort they have made and that you believe in them. Having positive self-esteem can mean the difference between success and failure in school and in the outside world. Acknowledge and focus on what your children can do rather than what they cannot do and make them feel good about themselves. Article contributed by Lorna Whiston Study Centres.

July - August 2009

In Focus

Literacy

Education

Literacy : the art of being fluent in a language, including expressive and receptive competency in the language - reading, writing, spelling and all aspects of verbal and written communication.

Education

Tips A year ago, we launched ‘Literacy Tips’ as an aid to parents wanting to contribute to the emerging literacy skills of their children. We will now explore the strange nature of digraphs and diphthongs. Digraphs are graphic units in which two letters have combined to function as a single element of sound. ‘Sh’, ‘th’ and ‘ch’ are examples of digraphs.

In Focus

a picture, or simply say the word and ask him to identify the target sound. These words all contain the same /ur/ sound: ‘girl’, ‘worm’, ‘earth’, ‘turn’, ‘thirsty’, ‘blur’ and ‘fern’, but are spelled differently. Did your child correctly separate the sound /ur/ from each word? Now try these words which share the /or/ sound: ‘four’, ‘talk’, ‘saw’, ‘floor’, ‘all’, ‘more’, ‘war’ and ‘for’. You can also combine words containing both digraphs and diphthongs such as: ‘share’, ‘there’, and ‘chair’.

Cultivate

Diphthongs describe a vowel sequence where there is a single noticeable change in the quality of the utterance. The more obvious examples include the middle sounds in the words ‘girl’ and ‘horse’, and the end sounds in ‘chair’ and ‘star’.

through perfections of mathematical thinking

At this stage, do not show letters and avoid asking your child to read letter combinations. Point to a chair and listen to determine whether he appreciates that the first sound in the word is the /ch/ sound.

Ask your child to tell you what sound these words share. Once again, do not show text, as we are inviting him to say what he hears in spoken words. If your child provides letter names instead of sounds, say, “That’s the name of the letter, but we want the sound.” Encourage him to trust his ears, and just reproduce the sounds of the word.

Help your child to appreciate the more complex sounds by being able to extract the sounds from whole words. Either show him

If your child can identify sounds irrespective of what spelling they may have, it shows that he is phonologically sensitive.

reasonable problem-solving capabilities The E.nopi MATH curriculum provides a truly balanced learning programme that develops strong computational skills from basic arithmetic through advanced algebra. What sets E.nopi MATH apart is the way the programme develops mathematical reasoning and critical thinking skills. E.nopi MATH incorporates teaching tools and problem sets that encourage students to explore math concepts in greater depth. Through hands on exploration and practice, students learn how to analyse and solve complex, but age-appropriate, math problems. Today, especially in regards to mathematics, the rote learning system is not sufficient. In this complex modern world, an individual needs to think and be innovative to come up with new creative ideas. People need to be willing to explore new horizons and push themselves further than others are able to. E.nopi MATH combines basic thinking math with challenging word problems, spatial reasoning puzzles and critical thinking activities. This innovative curriculum is a balanced study programme that effectively develops all areas of mathematical reasoning. It is based on an ingenious, sequential presentation of math concepts. The programme contains 32 levels that cover a variety of subjects that are typically taught in elementary and lower secondary schools. It also introduces students to more advanced topics in algebra, geometry, set theory, probability and statistics. The developers of E.nopi MATH recognised the importance of handson learning, hence math manipulatives and logic puzzles are a vital part of the programme. Colourful and engaging learning tools are used to help students visualise difficult math concepts and to model problem-solving challenges. Depth perception, spatial reasoning and analytical thinking skills are developed through problem sets that incorporate three-dimensional learning tools. The effectiveness of the programme was tested in a 12-month research study conducted by the New York State University on

I Can Read 25.6.08.ai

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The internationally acclaimed literacy system.

E.nopi MATH students. Not only did the results show a noticeable improvement in students’ math skills and logical reasoning ability over that time, they were also recorded as having an increased interest in math. The E.nopi MATH programme is also recognised by NCTM (National Council of Teachers of Mathematics), the world’s largest maths organisation dedicated to improving mathematics teaching and learning. By allowing children to progress at their own pace, E.nopi MATH instructors help students to build up their self-confidence, which inspire them to attempt even more challenging maths work. The sense of pride and excitement children feel when they reach that next level of knowledge is priceless and will stay with them forever. In summary, the benefits of the E.nopi MATH programme are: • Fun learning • Strong reasoning, logical & abstract thinking ability • Strong foundation in Math concept and skills • Able to view and solve problem from different angles • Capable of solving word problems • A keen sense of spatial awareness

To learn more about E.nopi MATH, visit any of its centres located nearest to your area. The E.nopi HQ is located at 50-4-3, Wisma UOA, Jalan Dungun, Bukit Damansara, 50490 Kuala Lumpur. To find2009 out about its franchise opportunity, contact 1300-88-0909, or email malaysia@enopi.com or visit www.enopi.com July - August

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2009

In Focus

Education

nvest

Education

Save

n investment is anything you buy or acquire for future benefit or income.

• Bank It

You can deposit your money into a savings account or fixed deposit account. The difference is that with a savings account, you have access to your money at any time but the interest rate is very low. You will earn higher interest with a fixed deposit account but you can only withdraw your funds at set intervals, such as after one month, three months or six months.

• Bonds

You are effectively lending your money to a financial institution, which, in return, pays you a fixed rate of interest for the duration of the bond. When the bond reaches maturity, you will be paid back the initial sum you had invested. All bonds are rated and the lower the risk, the lower the expected return you will receive.

• Mutual funds

These are set up to invest your money in other companies. When you invest in a mutual fund, you become a shareholder in the fund. Mutual funds allow the investor to spread risk across a wide number of companies. However, there are additional costs such as management fees that have to be paid.

Owning shares in a public listed company allows the investor to make money by receiving dividend income and capital gains when they sell the shares that have appreciated in value. However, if the company does not perform as well as expected, the value of the shares may go down significantly.

July - August 2009

Speaking

Last issue, we looked at how to save. This time, let’s focus on what you can do with your savings.

Congratulations! You have successfully put away sufficient savings and now you need to look at ways to make your money grow. Investing will put your money to work to make more money and increase your wealth.

• Stocks & Shares

In Focus

• Property

Investing in property has become popular because of the very high increase in property values in recent years, allowing property investors to earn exceptional returns on their investment. However, as with all investments, there are always risks involved and investors need to do a lot of research to ensure they buy property in good locations and from reputable developers.

• Invest in Yourself

You can start your own business to build your wealth. There are risks involved but the results can be highly rewarding, not just financially, but also in fulfilling your dreams. Whichever investment plan you choose, you must do your research and check out the different options available and match them against your personal risk profile. Do not be tempted by those who promise very high returns in the short term. If it seems too good to be true, it usually is.

KidzSmart A c a d e m y This article was provided by Kidz Smart Academy. The next batch of classes for the FLiP programme commences on 11th July 2009. For the Foundation level, children will gain basic knowledge, such as the value of money and good and bad money habits. For the Intermediate level, they will learn more advanced topics like how to save money, spend wisely, plan their own budgets and how to set saving goals. For information on FLiP and upcoming classes for children, call 03-2144 5733 or visit www.kidzsmart.com.my

with

Confidence The very thought of speaking in public will instill fear and trepidation in most adults. Here are some tips on how to develop confidence while speaking.

• It is normal to be nervous – even the most experienced speakers and presenters get nervous before they speak. The key is to use the nervous energy to boost your delivery. • Be prepared – make sure you know what you are going to say, why you are saying it and how to say it. • Practice, practice, practice – nothing replaces practice. First, run through your speech in front of a mirror and watch yourself as you speak. Be aware of any strange or odd gestures that you may be making subconsciously and try to control such movements. If possible, video yourself while speaking and watch the playback. Then, get a friendly audience, such as a close friend or colleague, to listen to your speech and ask them for positive and constructive feedback. • Take a deep breath … just before you have to start your speech, take three deep breaths to calm your nerves. • Focus – on your audience, not on yourself. It may help to pick one member of the audience as your main focus and imagine that person is your close friend that you are talking to. However, make sure you actually address the entire audience and not just that one person. • Less is more – Do not try to cover everything in your speech. You will have limited time and the audience has limited attention span. Keep to the main subject and keep it simple, short and sweet. If the audience wants more, this can be addressed in the follow-up or Q&A session. • Connect – with your audience and your battle is half won. Make eye contact with the audience and don’t just look in one direction, look around the room as much as possible. • Being funny – we are not all born comedians so if you are not comfortable telling a joke, then don’t. There is nothing worse than your audience not laughing at your joke.

• Large font please – print your speech in a font size that is large enough to read easily. Where necessary, mark where you should pause, take a breath or wait for a response. Unless you are a very experienced speaker (in which case, you would not be reading this), you must always have your speech on hand, even if you do not read directly from it. • Ad-libbing – this is a gift that most of us do not possess so avoid this whenever possible. • Pause – it may be necessary at times to pause to give your audience time to understand what you have said. Do allow more time if the subject is heavy going. • H2O – it is best to have a glass of water nearby in case your throat gets dry. • Act confident – You can look confident even if you do not feel confident as your audience cannot see your sweaty palms or hear your pounding heart. Smile, look directly at your audience, take a deep breath and begin.

KidzSmart A c a d e m y This article is brought to you by Kidz Smart Academy who runs Confidence in Speaking courses for children from ages six to 16 (three levels). There is a batch of classes for the Positive Attitude programme commencing on 12th July. It will teach children to have a positive outlook in order to handle negative elements around them so they can better focus on the good things. Developing such an optimistic approach will then help them to cope with their lives, face challenges, be more confident, independent and self-reliant, as well as learn how to reduce destructive thinking. For more info, please call 03-2144 5733 (Ms Bee/ Penny). July - August 2009

In Focus

Health

In Focus

What boys should expect

The

> For boys, the first signs of puberty are likely to occur around the ages of 11 or 12. Along with growth and tenderness in their penis and testes, boys may experience an increased libido, or sex drive, as well as erections and wet dreams. Don’t joke with your son about these things. Instead, make him feel that what’s happening to him is not wrong or shameful.

Physical Development

> Growth spurts - there is an average increase in height of 12 inches and a corresponding average weight gain of 50-60 pounds.

of Tweens

Models: Superkidz Club member Sarah Jane Khoo & brother John

Academic teaching or physical education about puberty is nonexistent or limited in most schools. Dramatic physical, mental, and social changes take place during the tween years. It is therefore important for parents to help their children feel prepared for the changes in their bodies. A parent must provide as much information as possible about his or her changing body, and for the child to understand why his or her body is changing. Just put yourself in their shoes. What if your daughter’s friends are already wearing bras but she isn’t ready for that yet? What if your son is being teased in gym class that he smells? They have to be made to understand that puberty is a normal part of growing up and that there are different body types. It may take two to four years before your tween’s body fully transitions through puberty.

What girls should expect > Around the age of 11 or 12, most girls experience their first period. When they begin to menstruate, they sometimes have spotting, cramps, tender breasts and diarrhea. Help your daughter understand her body’s changes. Share what other women in the family have gone through and a hug from a mum can be much more helpful. Gift your daughter with pads, tampons, sweets, a teen-formulated pain reliever, journal, encouraging card and/or other things you know will comfort her. 42

July - August 2009

> Boys’ voices drop an average of one octave during puberty. The “cracking” you hear before your son’s voice settles into its new range is due to hormone-induced changes in his voicebox and larynx. Feeling self-conscious, your son may avoid conversation or be more quiet than usual. Rather than calling attention to this behaviour, remind siblings and other relatives to be sensitive and not to tease him.

What both boys & girls should expect > At the age of 12, brain development is dramatic for both boys and girls.

Models: Superkidz Club member Ng Lim Wei Shuen & younger sister Wei Qian

Do you find your tween spending more time in the bathroom? Are they becoming too self-conscious and sensitive? Relax, your little baby is entering puberty – the stage of physical development when sexual organs change for the possibility of reproduction. Here’s what parents should know to help shape the way their tweens respond to those changes.

> Body shape changes include an increase in muscle mass and development of broader shoulders. As they go through puberty, boys develop more muscle and their bones become heavier as they grow. Your tween may take on a broader frame, as well as a more prominent jaw and cheekbones. Gently pointing these changes out and talking about his feelings can help put him at ease.

> For both boys and girls, weight gain consists of fat, muscle, bone, and organs. Weight gain often happens before height. This can be referred to as a "weight spurt" just as people label "growth spurt" for increases in height. > Underarm and pubic hair growth. Hair that comes in during puberty can be uncomfortable and draw unwanted attention. To help your tween adjust, offer to take him or her shopping for a razor or hair removal product. The timing depends on your child’s development and your own judgment; if you think your child is too young to begin shaving, talk about when you’ll allow it. Make the experience something to look forward to. > Facial acne and body odor. Does the tween you think of as still having soft, baby-smooth skin now have acne? You’re in a better position to enforce good hygiene than your child’s peers, who may not have all the facts. Providing deodorant is important, as is encouraging daily face washing. For moderate-to-severe acne, consider seeing a dermatologist for treatment options.

> Growth spurts – there is an average increase in height of 10 inches and a corresponding weight gain averaging 40 to 50 pounds. > In females, the increase in fat plays a vital role in menstruation. Menarche, or the first menstrual cycle, is closely related to achieving a healthy body weight. In terms of body composition, fat is fundamental to both trigger and maintain menstruation. Girls especially should realise that these growth and weight spurts are necessary and normal for their development. > Body shape changes with the development of breasts and hips. July - August 2009

In Focus

Health

Events that rock, kids that rule!

> Hormonal changes are in connection to the physical changes including: - Mood swings, rapid and intense feelings. During puberty, both boys and girls produce estrogen and testosterone hormones that can cause mood swings. If your tween slams the door in your face, understand that this may be hormonal. Stay calm. You can talk about the inappropriate behavior and remind your child to be respectful later. - Often an increased sensitivity to outward appearance and how their parents look at them - Increased sensitivity to criticism - Insecurity regarding physical changes - Self-absorption - Increased levels of impatience - Beginning awareness of attraction to others > Intellectually, the changes include: - Begin to think abstractly - Increased development of empathy

Save The World event Cempaka Schools and Bangsar Village II proudly presented the Save The World Interactive Exhibition at Bangsar Village II concourse area from 29th to 31st May 2009. Presented by CempakaTHINK, the exhibition aimed at getting visitors to think about the future of the world we live in, and act to sustain it for future generations. Visitors learned about the various crises that plague our world, the official solutions espoused by UNESCO (United Nations Educational, Scientific & Cultural Organization) and got to participate in several non-electronic designer games such as ‘Terra’. For more info on Cempaka Schools, visit www.cempaka.edu.my

F&N launches street dance competition

For girls, it is important that they develop healthy attitudes towards themselves, especially with societal pressure to be thin, sexy and attractive. As girls naturally gain weight before they get taller, they need physical hugs and open admiration from their parents that they have a beautiful daughter.

12th May 2009 saw the launch of F&N Freestylz “Show Ur Moves” Competition at Telawi Street Bistro. Open to those aged 15 to 25 years old, and to teams with two to five members, its aim was to create a platform for youth to express themselves with the added twist towards body movements, dance and energy.

Boys also have to deal with society’s images of manliness. Tween and teen boys need to act cool even though they are really sensitive kids. Parents should lead the way for their son to learn how to be a good man while fitting in with the guys.

At the launch, F&N also featured two aspiring role models, Alex and Naim who are representatives of Malaysian teenagers who love to dance but yet remain focused on their academic achievements. The grand prize for F&N Freestylz “Show Ur Moves” Competition was a training trip to Korea with Asia’s No.1 B-boys Gamblerz Crew. For more info, visit www.fnfreestylz.com

Half Page ad 1.1.pdf 30/6/2009 10:38:37 AM

e m u t s o C Party a e T

Day Out

Games & Activities for Everyone! Prizes Galore for Contests!

Kidz Smart Academy Open Day

Contests for: > Cutest Smile > Cover Model Search & > Cheekiest Grin Photo Sessions > Best Costume > Treasure Hunt > Strike-A-Pose > Tea Party with Yummy Food! > Colouring Contest Date: 1st August 2009 (Saturday) Time: 2pm – 6pm Venue: Kidz Smart Academy, E-06-2, Plaza Kelana Jaya, Jalan SS 7/13A, Kelana Jaya, 47301 PJ

> FREE Goodie Bags for the first 20 families to call & register! > For more info & to register, 44 July - August 2009 call 03-2144 5733.

Rock ‘n’ Rule

z rs: d i rk be y! : e p em tr ers u S b m en emb ax ax p u l n M per er p E o C E N M5 0 p & 1 R ts e - R RM n F e l r a r Pa res doo P e th At

ed s s e r d e Com r best in you ve a and ha ernoon! aft d e l l i f n fu

Kidz Smart Academy believes that there is more to education than just the 3Rs. On 16th & 23rd May 2009, it officially opened its doors to the public. Parents came to meet the trainers and to find out more about the programmes offered. With refreshments and goodie bags offered, everyone had a nice, relaxed afternoon. Several children were also treated to a trial class on Financial Literacy in Practice (FLiP) where they learned the value of money and how to save for a rainy day. For more info, call 03-2144 5733 or visit www.kidzsmart.com.my July - August 2009

Rock ‘n’ Rule

Events that rock, kids that rule!

Healthy Mum, Healthy Baby seminar Positive Parenting, the nation’s expert programme in maternal, child and family wellness, organised its first-ever seminar on mother and newborn care on 28th May 2009. It was aimed at highlighting the importance of maternal and newborn care to young parents in Malaysia. The seminar topics were delivered by Obstetrician and Gynaecologist, Associate Professor Dr Tan Ay Eeng, Consultant Paediatrician, Datuk Dr Zulkifli Ismail and Psychiatrist, Dr M.Swamenathan. The event also saw the launch of the Vaccine-preventable Diseases booklet by the Malaysian Paediatric Association (MPA) supported by GlaxoSmithKline (GSK). The booklet serves as a useful guide for parents to gain a better understanding of the common diseases among children and the importance of vaccination. For more info, visit www.mypositiveparenting.org

Rock ‘n’ Rule

PONEY & RENEW Fashion Shows

On 26th April 2009, children’s apparel PONEY and RENEW showcased the very first Spring/Summer 2009 Collection of the year at Suria KLCC, in conjunction with its Fashion Week Electrifying Spring/Summer ’09 Fashion Show. The week after, another PONEY Fashion Show was held in conjunction with the Fashion Week at One Utama. In order to hype up the ambience before both events, the emcees played games and gave away sponsored PONEY & RENEW RM50 vouchers as prizes.

Behind-the-scenes look at McDonald’s

Johnson’s Baby Powder Jom Main! Campaign

McDonald’s Malaysia recently brought members of the media for a visit to its main supplier’s food processing plant to demonstrate the rigorous procedures involved in the making of its iconic products. The McDonald’s Media Day allowed guests to observe the exact everyday working conditions at MacFood Services Sdn Bhd, McDonald’s main processing supplier for its protein products, such as the fish, beef and chicken patties. This transparency and disclosure shows McDonald’s genuine interest to create public awareness on the importance of food quality and safety. “Each month, about six million customers visit our 185 restaurants nationwide. It is our responsibility to ensure that our customers are assured of the high standards of our products, in order for them to make informed food choices and to eat right,” said Azmir Jaafar, Managing Director of McDonald’s Malaysia.

Johnson’s Baby Powder continues its advocacy for young children to go outside and play in line with its Jom Main! Family Day. Held on 23rd May 2009, the event took place at Padang Timur (PJ) on a giant field-converted playground and was organised in collaboration with kindergarten educational system franchiser Q-dees. It was officially opened by Stanford Guo (Marketing Director of Johnson & Johnson), Puan Noormah Binti Dato’ Abdul Rauf (Director of Social Welfare, Federal Territory Kuala Lumpur, Ministry of Women, Family and Community Development) and Puan Zaharah Binti Rustam (Penolong Pengarah Kanan Bahagian Sukan & Kemudahan Am). Also present was local actress Susan Menon with her family. Johnson’s Baby Powder also introduced an online portal for parents that provides information on preschoolers’ development, parenting tips and a photo album for families to share fun playtime moments.

CMY

Permanis kicks off partnership with Toys”R”Us On 8th June 2009, the leading drink manufacturers, Permanis Sdn Bhd, announced its partnership with Toys”R”Us to supply the world’s largest dedicated toy and baby products retailer with its wide range of beverages in Malaysia. As part of the partnership, a joint promotion was organised where consumers were treated to free bottles of deliciously refreshing Tropicana Twister at the launch of the much-anticipated Transformers toys recently. “We are delighted to be appointed the beverage provider for Toys”R”Us stores nationwide and we certainly look forward to creating more engaging activities together,” said Ms Hemalatha Ragavan, Marketing Manager of Permanis Sdn Bhd. “Having these wide drink selections at Toys”R”Us will further enhance the shopping experience for our customers,” said Ms Carol Chua, Country Manager of Toys”R”Us Malaysia. 46

July - August 2009

Rock ‘n’ Rule

Events that rock, kids that rule!

Healthy California Raisin recipes unveiled In an exclusive media get-together on 12th June 2009, Chef Emmanuel Stroobant, popularly known as the “Chef in Black”, showcased his latest, most innovative dishes, inspired by California Raisins. Raisins can be applied in a potpourri of recipes including appetisers, main dishes, meat, seafood dishes and confectionery items. Unveiling his innovative repertoire of recipes, Chef Stroobant remarked, “I have long experimented with California Raisins in my recipes and absolutely love the results! Raisins may be tiny and often neglected, but never dismiss them as healthy ingredients which can enhance the look and taste of the whole dish.”

The Kelab Komuniti Taman Tasik Cyberjaya was a hive of activity on 14th June when Her Majesty, Seri Paduka Baginda Raja Permaisuri Agong Tuanku Nur Zahirah, graced the inaugural Cyberjaya TriKidz Duathlon Race to cheer on her prince and princess who took part in the competition. YAM Tuanku Mua’az and YAM Tuanku Fatimatuz Zahra were amongst some 180 children who took part in this first-ever dualthon race held in Malaysia. It was a two-day event comprising a clinic and a race for children, aged between six and 15, where they had to run and cycle. Organised by Cyberview Sdn Bhd and TriKidz Malaysia, the objective was to promote healthy lifestyle for families and kids in particular.

Upcoming Events

Sri KDU offers a trilingual environment where equal emphasis is given to Mandarin, Bahasa Malaysia and English. In fact, Mandarin is a compulsory subject for all students from Primary 1 to Secondary 3. During their Mandarin Open Day there will be mock Mandarin classes for children and parents to experience first hand. Come along for a day of fun-filled activities and Open Day special promos. For more info, call 03 – 6157 8123 / 03 -6145 3888 or visit www.srikdu.com.my Carnivale Canine: Tails up, It's show time! DOGATHON™ is endorsed by Malaysia Book of Records as ‘The Largest Gathering of Dogs’. So yet again, the Students’ Society of the Faculty of Veterinary Medicine (VETERNAK) and Zoologico Club, UPM are organising the event for the 13th time. Date / Time: 16th Aug 2009 (Sun) / 6.30am - 2pm Venue: Bukit Ekspo, Universiti Putra Malaysia, Serdang Themed “CARNIVALE CANINE-Tails Up...It's Show Time!”, dress your canine buddies in funny clown costumes and have a fun parade! There will be lots of free attractive souvenirs and prizes, challenging games for pet owners and a charity drive that will go towards the betterment of stray animals’ welfare. Surely a doggie funfair that you don’t want to miss. For more info, visit www.vet.upm.edu.my/~dogathon or www.dogathon2009.blogspot.com 48

July - August 2009

FLiP - Foundation (6 - 9 years old) Duration: 4/6 sessions Date: Saturday, starting 11th July Time: 2 – 4pm

Kidz Smart activities

FLiP - Intermediate (10 - 12 years old) Duration: 6 sessions Date: Saturday, starting 11th July Time: 4 – 6pm

• Life Success Strategies Bootcamp (see ad on page 55) Dates: 29th & 30th August 2009 (Sat & Sun) Time: 9am - 5 pm (both days) Venue: Sekolah Sri KDU (Secondary School), Kota Damansara Cost: RM 988 (normal price: RM1988) Suitable for: Children aged 12 to 17 years old *Additional benefits for Superkidz Club members and Sri KDU students.

Malaysia’s first ever TriKidz Dualthon Race

Sri KDU Mandarin Open day Date: 8th August (Sat) Time: 10am – 1pm Venue: Sri Garden School, No. 9 Jalan 1/75C, Off Jalan Pria, Taman Maluri, 55100 KL

Calling all ex-BBGS students! The spirit lives on! An exciting event to take place in early August 2009. For more info, visit http://back2bbgs.blogspot.com and click on Project Revive!

Hi-5 is in KL! Venue: Arena Of Stars, Genting Highlands Date: 29 - 31 August 2009 (Sat – Mon) Show schedule: 3pm & 7pm (Sat; Sun) / 12noon & 4pm (Mon) Hi-5 is an Australian children’s TV programme and pop music group that started in 1999. It offers a world of learning based on music, movement and laughter. Aimed at children two to eight years old, the show is full of catchy pop tunes, dancing and musical skits that will get the kids off the couch and playing along! The Hi-5 team is made up of Fely Irvine, Tim Maddren, Lauren Brant, Stevie Nicholson and Casey Burgess. Tickets to their show are priced at RM50, RM80, RM120 and RM150. Children aged two and above require a ticket for admission. For ticket purchase, call 032241 9999 (TicketCharge Hotline), 03-2718 1118 (Genting Hotline) or visit www.ticketcharge.com.my

Exclusive for Superkidz Club members – FREE tickets There are 20 pairs of tickets up for grabs to the show. To get your hands on them, simply be the first 20 members to email us at member@kidz.my (Subject: Free Hi-5 tickets) by answering this question: The new website/ portal of Kidz is _________. Kindly include the following details as well: Parent’s Name, Child’s Name, Membership No. & Contact No.

Aside from preparing children to experience all the wonderful things life has to offer, this workshop will teach kids how to be outstanding academically. With Life Success Strategies, they will be able to set goals and achieve dreams, out-perform in exams and discover why there is no such thing as failure. The workshop will also benefit those sitting for PMR, SPM and STPM exams. • Financial Literacy in Practice (FLiP) programme The next batch of classes for the FLiP programme commences on 11th July 2009. For the Foundation level, children will gain basic knowledge, such as the value of money and good and bad money habits. For the Intermediate level, they will learn more advanced topics like how to save money, spend wisely, plan their own budgets and how to set saving goals.

Rock ‘n’ Rule

• Positive Attitude programme A positive attitude is vital in a world full of negativity and despair. The Positive Attitude programme will teach children to have a positive outlook in order to handle negative elements around them. With a positive attitude, children can better focus on the good things. Developing such an optimistic approach will then help them to cope with their lives, face challenges, be more confident, independent and self-reliant, as well as learn how to reduce destructive thinking. Positive Attitude programme (6- 9 years old) Duration: 3 sessions Date: Sunday, starting 12th July Time: 4– 6pm Kidz Smart Academy is located at E-06-2, Plaza Kelana Jaya, Jalan SS 7/13A, Kelana Jaya, 47301 PJ. For course fee, detailed schedule and timetable or for more info on any of the above programmes, call 03-2144 5733 (Bee / Penny) or email info@kidzsmart.com.my

1. Learn 2. Grow and 3. Master

chess

together with the

ASEAN Chess AcademY Official Training Centre of the World Chess Federation

WHY CHESS? This intriguing question has exercised many minds as far back as the 19th Century even as students from top universities like Cambridge, Oxford, Harvard and Columbia played chess in inter-varsity games. Benjamin Franklin said, “Chess teaches foresight, by having to plan ahead; vigilance, by having to keep watch over the whole chess board; caution, by having to restrain ourselves from making hasty moves; and finally, we learn from chess the greatest maxim in life - that even when every thing seems to be going badly for us we should not lose heart, but always hoping for a change for the better, steadfastly continue searching for the solutions to our problems.”

COURSES Young Beginners (4-5 years old) . Beginners (6 years & above) . Adult Beginners Competitive Chess (for those who are competing for schools) Mastering Chess (for those who are playing at national and international level) School Holidays Camps . Private Lessons . Workshops Scholastic Chess at Kindergartens, Schools, Child Enrichment Centres, Colleges & Universities

Registration & Enquiries: Asean Chess Academy, Kuala Lumpur 22-1 1st Floor, Jalan 27/70A, Desa Sri Hartamas, 50480 Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. Tel: +60 3-2300 1680 www.intchess.com Asean Chess Academy, Singapore Teck Ghee Community Centre 861 Ang Mo Kio Avenue 10 #01-05 Singapore 569734 49 July - August www.intchessasia.com 2009

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NOT

Dear

You You ask, ask, we we gather gather the the answers! answers!

Dear Dear Kidz Kidz

Q Kidz

Tearing your hair out in response to your kids’ behaviour? Fret not! In our Q & A column with acclaimed trainer, bestselling author and master motivational speaker, psychologist and counsellor, Dr. Billy Kueek doles out answers to your parenting questions from his wealth of workshops, newsletters, journals and audiobooks, but most of all, from the standpoint of ordinary parents.

: My tween son is about to cross the threshold of teenage. I’ve given him the liberty to hang out with his friends, he has no curfew and our relationship is based entirely on trust. At the back of my mind, though, I am reminded of the errors of my youth and what, exactly, I did when I was a teenager. This is the time of their lives when they explore and venture out to try new things … the very things we, parents, would like our kids to stay away from. Should I put a limit to my trust and simply hope that my son wouldn’t make the same mistakes I did when I was his age? - Reluctantly trusting parent

is free This copy TO BE with Kidz RESOLD Magazin SEPARAe TELY

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It is common for tweens and teenagers to be rebellious and curious. They are going through lots of challenges, themselves, struggling to cope with changes to their body, their friends, school work, parents and many other things that distract them in the modern society. When you clip the wings of the bird, they will either fight or withdraw. Either way, I believe, is not the outcome you desire.

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Dr. Kueek: It is good that your relationship with your son is based on trust, as trust, I believe, is the foundation of all relationships. It is also good that you are aware of and anticipating what he is going through. You are a thinking parent and you sure love your boy.

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Work on the trust you have established with your son. Openly communicate about things with him. As you did not specify if you are a daddy or a mummy, I am assuming that you are a daddy, and, therefore, can have a man-to-man talk with him. Cast your philosophies aside, listen to his and try to understand it. Instead of imposing your model of the world and how you see it to him, go into his world instead and appreciate it from there. Guide not direct, coach not instruct, ask not tell. While you attempt to get into his world, do let him into your world, too. Involve him in adult decisions; share your work problems and your hobbies with him. Let him handle that delicate collector’s item, assign bigger responsibilities to him and grow with him in maturity. This would nurture and enhance his emotional intelligence so he

thinks consequentially before he acts rashly and grows to become a responsible and accountable adult. Mistakes present learning opportunities. Remember the times you did what you were told not to and only really learn when you were impacted severely? Even as adults, we are all guilty of doing something that we knew we shouldn’t be doing. This is due to a lack in consequential thinking and self-control. Many a times, we only realise the mistakes and consequences when the mistakes have been done. While trying to enhance the emotional intelligence of your son, enhance yours, too. Instead of lashing out at him when he does something wrong, praise him for his honesty. Use positive questioning techniques to guide and coach him. Ask “If this happens again, how would you deal with it differently?” The probability of success that he will take a right course of action is higher when he says what he will do versus you telling him what he should do. Your points of view on what should be done can be very different. Finally, do know that whatever your mind focuses on, you attract. While it is good to acknowledge the potential dangers your son is exposed to, do not instill these negative ideas on him. Thinking too much about the negativity will only turn it into reality. To know more about Dr. Billy Kueek, visit http://www.billykueek.com/billy_kueek.html. For answers to your parenting queries, email us at kidz@epitome.com.my July- -August August 2009 2009 July

51 51

classifieds - Suria Kreatif_3boxes.pdf 5/1/2009 12:18:23 PM

Spread the word on your biz!

WELFARE ORGANISATION CADS Enhancement Centre 03-4256 8227 http://www.care4cads.org.my Provides children with learning disabilities and special needs the opportunity to learn via a curriculum similar to the National Curriculum on Special Education Needs. Hospis Malaysia 03-9133 3936 http://www.hospismalaysia.org Provides palliative care and medicine at no cost to those living within the Klang Valley and who has a life-limiting illness. NASAM National Stroke Association of Malaysia 03-7956 4840 / 1876 http://www.nasam.org Provides rehab services to enable stroke survivors to return to as normal a life as possible, and promotes the concept of stroke prevention by raising public awareness. National Council for the Blind, Malaysia 03-2272 4959 (automated answering machine) http://www.ncbm.org.my/ An umbrella body comprising 5 major voluntary organisations serving the needs and general welfare of the blind. PPKKTAJ The Handicapped and Mentally Disabled Children Association Johor Bahru, Johor 07-598 9676 http://www.handicapjb.org.my Looks after the welfare of mentally-disabled children suffering from various mental illnesses, ranging in age from 3 to 50 years old.

Classes aND aCtivities A variety of dance classes for babies up to teens – jazz, hip-hop, toddler dance movement, tap and more, Fitness Classes for mums, Salsa, Flamenco and Belly Dancing for adults, Baking and Cooking for kids & adults, School Holiday Programs, Arts & Crafts, Creative English and Foreign Languages – German, Spanish, French for kids & adults, Eureka Maths, Themed Birthday Parties and many others…

Rumah Sayangan 03-9131 4339 A safe haven for the underprivileged, abused, abandoned and orphaned children, irrespective of race, creed or religion. SHELTER 03-7955 0663 http://www.shelterhome.org Provides care for abused, abandoned, neglected or at-risk children through home care, counselling and therapy sessions. Women’s Aid Organisation 03-7957 0636 / 5636 (WAO Centre) / 03-7956 3488 (Counselling) / 03-7960 3030 (Sexual Assault Helpline) http://www.wao.org.my An independent, non-governmental organisation. Its mission is to create and promote respect, protection and fulfilment of equal rights for women, and to work towards the elimination of discrimination against women. World Vision Malaysia 03-7880 6414 http://www.worldvision.com.my A Christian relief, development and advocacy organisation dedicated to working with children, families and communities to overcome poverty and injustice.

Hello from Caterpillar! We are a unique and wholesome family activity centre providing a wide variety of eDUCatioNal activities and programs for adults and kids! Caterpillar is designed as a friendly ‘Playhouse’ with a comfortable, nurturing and safe environment where you can have peaCe of miND while your kids are being entertained!

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Caterpillar stretching imagination 15-2, Jalan Sri Hartamas 7, Sri Hartamas, 50480 Kuala Lumpur. Fax: 03-6201 0376 Email: caterpillar.si@gmail.com

Kindly bring along this coupon to redeem tWo free trial Classes*. Valid for Creative English for Kids, Capoeira, Eureka Maths and any Dance classes.

FREE TRIAL * Valid for one person only; Except Belly Dance, Salsa and Flamenco

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Showcase your products and/or services here. For enquiries, please call 03-2144 5733 or email kidz@epitome.com.my musikgarten_FM Babies - JulAug2009_resized.pdf 5/26/2009 3:00:37 PM (Subject: Listings / Classifieds)

CHILD DEVELOPMENT CENTRE Kidz Sports & Gym

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Kidz Station

012-224 4202

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Kidz Zone

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Sentosa Medical Centre

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KL Sogo Starz Studio

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Kindly call us to register at 03-6201 0378 or 017-6658400. Do browse through our website – www.caterpillar.com.my for more info.

HOSPITAL

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Pusat Majudiri Y for The Deaf 03-2274 1439 www.ymcakl.com/pmy Provides pre-school education to deaf children and workshops to help parents to communicate with their deaf children.

CLASSIFIEDS

Rumah Kanak-Kanak Impian 03-7804 3451 Set up by the St Vincent de Paul Society and cares for children from single parent families until they complete secondary school.

Allegro Music

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Signature Art & Craft Attack Sdn Bhd

03-7729 6155

Asean Chess Academy

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LIFE SUCCESS STRATEGIES BOOTCAMP A Life Changing Weekend Seminar

Parents & kids have the last word!

Parenthood is a bittersweet ‘passage of life’. Put all your effort into it and enjoy the result of your labour of love in your golden years. Mrs Looi, father of two grown-up boys

The best brought-up children are those who have seen their parents as they are. Hypocrisy is not the parents' first duty. George Bernard Shaw

Fatherhood is great. I like playing the ‘nasty parent’ role so that my kids know I mean business, that I’m in charge… but that’s only when their mum’s not home! Mr Au-Yong, dad to Annie & Adam

Everyone likes to think that he has done reasonably well in life, so that it comes as a shock to find our children believing differently. The temptation is to tune them out; it takes much more courage to listen. John D. Rockefeller III

My 11 year old can be a very sweet and polite girl. But when she doesn’t get her way, out comes the ‘diva’, demanding for things and making it sound like she rightfully deserves them. Good thing I grew up in a strict household, so I know just how to handle the little attention-seeker.

Anything which parents have not learned from experience they can now learn from their children. Anonymous

My girl used to love me unconditionally, and my son used to want hugs and kisses everyday. Now that they’re tweenagers, all they know to do is argue back and complaining about the injustice they’re suffering. I tremble to think what would happen when they become teenagers!

Parents are sometimes a bit of a disappointment to their children. They don't fulfil the promise of their early years.

With Life Success Strategies you will be able to set goals and achieve them. You will also be able to out-perform in your exams and discover that there is no such thing as failure. You will find out that you are one-of-a-kind and that you have special talents unique to you alone and that there is no such thing as unemployment.

Anthony Powell

My way of dealing with my tween daughter is to treat her like an adult. If she starts talking back or arguing with me, then I will ‘approach her’ in a businesslike manner, using complicated words or business jargons. Soon, she wouldn’t know how to respond and stop arguing!

• Students & Teenagers (from 12 to 17 years old) • Students sitting for PMR, SPM & STPM

How will You Benefit?

Life during my growing-up years was not as interesting as what the kids nowadays are used to. They don’t understand how lucky they are to have all this material stuff like handphones and laptops. Parents are really spoiling them too much. If they keep doing that, how would kids learn to appreciate life and to be thankful?

A father is a banker provided by nature. French proverb

Mrs Liu, mother to tweens

• Stretch beyond what you believe are your limits • You'll discover that you are capable of more than you ever dreamed possible • Tap into an inner reservoir of energy and vitality • Reclaim personal power, freeing yourself from resentment and helplessness • Achieve a lasting sense of certainty & self-confidence • Break the barriers to experience joy & contentment • Realise that everything is possible • Live freely and fully

What will You Learn? • • • • • • • • • •

•

How attitude & self image affect us How to find the motivation to study Proven study strategies and study systems used by top-performing students How to manage stress & use it to your advantage How to overcome procrastination How to ensure your memory performs in exams Double your reading speed and increase your level of comprehension and understanding How to succeed in exams Learn relaxation techniques How to take better & fewer notes that are easier to remember in exams How to set goals to achieve your dreams Sponsored by

PAY ONLY

RM988

Kidz Smart Price (Normal price: RM1988)

Dates: 29th & 30th August 2009 (Sat & Sun) Time: 9.00am - 5.00pm Venue: Sri KDU, Kota Damansara *Additional benefits for Superkidz Club members & Sri KDU students. Please call to find out more. Enquiries: 03 - 2144 5733 (tel) / 03 - 2144 6733 (fax) Websites: www.kidzmag.com.my / www.billykueek.com

Application Form

Who will Benefit Most?

MK Khoo, businessman

Encik Ghazali, grandfather to three

Mrs Singh, mum to Joovee

This workshop is all-rounded, helping students to be outstanding academically whilst preparing them to experience and achieve all the wonderful things in life. Whether you want to become self employed, an entrepreneur or CEO of a Fortune 500 company, you can shape your destiny now.

Models: Superkidz Club members Muhammad Haziq & Nureen Aisya with their mum

The Last Say

In collaboration with

Student's details Name:

Age:

School: Home Address: City:

Post code:

State:

Contact no.: Email:

Parents' Details Parent's Name: Occupation: Mobile No.:

Email:

Payment Details Option 1

✸ Cheque of RM

issued to

EPITOME COMMUNICATIONS SDN BHD Cheque no.: Option 2 ✸ Cash of RM Public Bank Account: 3136617202

deposited into

Terms & Conditions: 1. The investment amount covers entry to the event only. Travel & accomodations are not included. Meals (1 lunch & 2 tea-breaks per day) will be provided. 2. Reservations may be made by phone or email but will only be confirmed upon receipt of enrolment form with full payment before the commencement date of the programme. 3. Cancellations must be informed in writing 21 days prior to the event date. 4. A cancellation fee of 20% will be imposed on cancellation done within 21 days prior to event. 5. No refund of any kind will be issued. 6. The organiser reserves the right to change the venue, date and speaker. 7. The participant has the full consent of parent/guardian to attend this programme. 8. The organisers will not be held responsible or liable for the actions or well-being of minors and others attending this programme.

I have read and understood the above terms & conditions. If you have any quirky, funny or thought-provoking quotes you would like to share, email them to submit@kidz.my! (Subject: Comments)

Signature: (of parent)

Date:

OutRageously PiNk Nite 2009 Contests OutRageously PiNk Nite (OPN) is back in Bangsar. This fun breast health event will be held on 7 November 2009 (within Bangsar Village II). Get spotted in your most outrageous pink outfit, participate in the “Topless Contest with a Twist” and a variety of other attractions. Don’t know what you missed previously in 2004, then, check out the reports at: www.radiologymalaysia.org/breasthealth In conjunction with OPN2009, Radiology Malaysia and its partners in breast health, Kidz Magazine & Challenges Magazine is inviting entries to its Digital Video and Slogan Contests. The digital video must be less than 3 minutes and themed or centred on “Living life to the fullest even with breast cancer” whilst the 3-word slogan is the tagline to describe OutRageously PiNk Nite. Please check out: www.www.radiologymalaysia.org/opn2009 for more details and entry forms.

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Exciting prizes await the winners and prizes will be awarded at the very fun, and highly invigorating OPN2009 at Bangsar Village II, Bangsar Baru, Kuala Lumpur.