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MAN STUFF
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MUSIC
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TOP 20 SONGS OF 2011
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THE PREVIEW
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THE FEMALE FEATURE
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GAMES
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SPORT
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STAN MCEWAN COLUMN
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REVIEWS
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WHATS ON
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HULL VS CROYDON DEBATE
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LOCAL NEWS
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WELCOME TO
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THE HULL AND EAST RIDING LADS LIFESTYLE MAG Hello everyone! Are we all getting ready for chrimbo? We’ve all been hinting to our lasses at what we’d like to see in our stockings, and that we’d like to see them in their stockings [badda-bing, badda-boom!]. As we’re slightly in the christmas mood [mainly due to this sudden cold weather that we haven’t had in a while!] we’ve made this a christmas inspired issue with a countdown of the best music of 2011 - see if you agree with our top 20. We’ve decided to do a December-January double issue in order to make some improvements ready to start again in February. We’ve got all the usual stuff for you to have a skeg at. This is issue 8! Emjoy the double-issue, see you in February! Remember, keep in-touch! email readers@kissermag.com THIS MONTH SEE’S A GREAT LINE-UP IN KISSER: We’ve got the sexy Chloe Mc as our snowy winter girl, reviews of The Debt Collectors, Vampire’s Rock and Guillemots, a great update of all the sporting goings-on in the area and some brilliant man stuff like gadgets, games, music ...and much much more fun inside! This magazine contains adult content and is for people aged 16 and over. Not all the comments made are that of Kisser Magazine and we will not be held responsible for any content you may disagree with. Views expressed are those of the writers not necessarily those of the magazine. All content and rights; Kisser Magazine Ltd.
man stuff!
fairisle hooded gilet, River Island - £45.00
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eto self cuff chino, JD Sports - £39.99
4 puma first round lx, Various - £55.00
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snowman boxers, River Island - £7.00
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What’s all this about John Terry dressed as a woman on a tram?
John - Hull
I love this time of year. You can slam your laptop shut when your girlfriend walks into the room and you don’t get any disgusted looks. Phil - Skirlaugh
Sepp Blatter has come to the defence of Emma West, the lady in the video ‘my tram experience’ after it emerged she shook everyones hand before getting off. Paul - Driffield
Found my first grey pube today.... Normally things like that don’t bother me..... But it was in a Greggs pasty....... Chris - Beverley
GADGETS
£19.99 WWW.IWANTONEOFTHOSE.COM
KISSER’S TUNES OF THE MONTH [check out what’s been on the Kisser office stereo - click links to listen]
Ben Howard - The Fear [ http://youtu.be/dnxCxHLAqn8 ] Rihanna - ft. Calvin Harris - We Found Love [ http://youtu.be/tg00YEETFzg ] Flo Rida - Good Feeling [ http://youtu.be/3OnnDqH6Wj8 ] Doctor P & Flux Pavillion - Superbad [ http://youtu.be/eoKiBSwgbwQ ] Rizzle Kicks - Momma Can Hump - Vato Gonzalez remix [ http://youtu.be/HicBMAsRdE0 ]
music!
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presents our TOP 20 SONGS OF 2011....
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THE PREVIEW
KISSER PREVIEWS THE PATH OF TOTALITY Korn’s tenth studio album takes a new direction
As far as music goes through history, people have always attempted to create something new, or find ‘the new sound’ as was seen in Back to the Future when Marty McFly plays Johnny B.Goode, and as has been parodied many times over in programmes, including Family Guy and The Simpsons. Now it looks like NuMetal band Korn are attempting to do the same. Korn’s new album, titled The Path of Totality, is set for release on December 5th and has lots of people talking about it. The main reason for all this anticipation is due to the new direction the band have taken - a direction of sound that many are saying has never been done before. Korn have decided to mix their rock/metal sounds with that of one of the newest musical genres out there at the moment; dubstep. Many people have taken to dubstep over the past year with emerging talents such as Rusko, Benga, Katy B,
Flux Pavillion, Nero and Skrillex to name but a few. The difference being, most of their releases have been aimed at a mainstream audience. Are Korn about to do what Pendulum did with Drum N’Bass and take a sound to a whole new musical audience? Are we about to witness Metalstep? or NuStep? Some would argue Enter Shikari have already beaten them to it, but as their sound is more techno-metal than dubstep and the fact Korn are doing their album with some big dubstep producers like Skrillex and Noisia, it’s clear to see why so many people are eager to have a listen to the new Korn album. A bold move by the now veterans of rock, but If the rest of the album is as good as first single ‘Get Up’ Korn won’t be worried.
the path of totality
THE PREVIEW
KISSER PREVIEWS THIS IS ENGLAND 88 Shane Meadows returns with a new TIE installment
People talk about movies of a generation, people talk about the likes of Grease, Pulp Fiction, Quadrophenia and in more recent times, you could argue Kevin & Perry is the nearest anything had come to a movie for a new generation until This is England hit the cinema screens in 2006. Since the hit film, the This is England brand has gone on to see award winning director Shane Meadows carry on the story of Woody, Lol, Shaun et al and followed their lives into 1986 with This is England 86 and a hard-hitting story which had people talking about it for weeks in shock at just how deep Meadows went. Renowned filmmaker Shane Meadows follows up the explosive, Bafta award-winning This Is England ‘86 with three hour-long films. They say Christmas is a time for forgiving and for forgetting, a time of love and laughter and joy ever after... With echoes of A Christmas Carol, Meadows is set to take viewers to
places they never thought they’d go to. Haunted by the devastating events that took place 18 months ago, Lol and Woody both find themselves struggling to cope with the emotional fallout. And they’re not the only ones lacking in festive spirit, as Shaun learns the hard way, just how much love hurts. This is Christmas, This Is England style. This is England 88 is said to tie up all the loose ends of TIE86 and set the scene nicely for a brand new series of This is England 90. Rave doesn’t look to have met the gang yet, we suspect that’ll be saved for TIE90, with Woody looking like he’s gone ‘suedehead’, Kelly looks to have gone ‘Joan Jett’ and we don’t know what the heck Gadget is! ON: Dec 13/14/15 @ 10pm
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GAMES! provided by: THIRTEEN1
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thirteen 1 - game of the month It’s finally here! After years of waiting – oh, the waiting - The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim has arrived. But absence makes anticipation stronger, and with such high expectations from fans of the series, how can Skyrim possibly live up to the hype..(don’t worry, we’re about to tell you). Set 200 years after Oblivion, Skyrim is both beautiful and deadly, packed with giants that roam its open plains, trolls that patrol its treacherous mountains, and wolfs that stalk their prey in the forests. Basically, there is no shortage of beast or man ready to kill you here. While you roam the massive open world of Skyrim there is so much to see, hear and do (over 300 hours worth!); from taking a job cutting wood in order to make some gold, to hunting down serial killers and mass murderers; that the main storyline can easily take a back seat - or even be ignored altogether! The voice acting in Skyrim is nothing short of amazing, drawing you in to every NPC offering a reward for helping
them out. This world feels a lot more believable then Oblivion’s ever did. When (or, if) you can draw yourself away from the endless lure of sidequests and objectives, you are greeted with a well told and highly immersive story, one that will see you taken to the very heights of Skyrims Mountains, into the very depths of the underground, and encounter plenty of enormous dragons along the way. Dragons play a huge part in Skyrim, and while the main quest line will see you having to kill some of them in the name of the story, others will be just flying around waiting for someone to kill. This adds an unnerving sense of danger to traversing the game world, even when you are just walking around aimlessly. Just because dragons aren’t somewhere one time, it doesn’t mean they won’t be there the next. There’s nothing quite like hearing a thunderous roar, looking up to the sky and seeing a dragon swoop down to attack you. These massive beasts can attack from anywhere and
- the elder scrolls v: SKYRIM at any time without warning. So keep a look out! Skyrim doesn’t work like most other RPGs when it comes to levelling up your character. Here, you earn XP by increasing your skills, which you do by using the different skill trees. If you want to level your sneak skill, keep sneaking near enemies. If you want to level up your one handed sword skill, use a one handed sword. It makes levelling up feel both effortless and fitting, and lets you gear your character towards how you want to play by simply..uhm, playing in that way. Amazingly, Skyrim throws something new at you each time you play. If replay value gets you hard, Skyrim’s massive variety will give you the kind of perpetual boner most teenagers will envy. The AI is much improved over Oblivion, but it still has its fair share of problems. For example, characters can be prevented from going where they are supposed to because they get stuck on a rock or run into a wall. But a patch is
on the way for all versions of the game, so we’re sure this will be sorted pronto. Skyrim is undoubtedly one of the best looking games we’ve seen all year; everything from the ground to the sky looks visually stunning. The textures are well chosen and layered on just about everything, and all the different races look incredibly detailed. There are ten playable races and each come with both good and bad attributes. They all have a preferred play style, but unlike in Oblivion, you don’t have to stick to that style for long if you don’t want too. The new magic and combat system offers a welcome change of pace, with a dual-hand approach that allows you to wield two magic powers at once, or combine the same spell in each hand to make effects more powerful. Skyrim is one of the best RPG’s of ALL TIME, and a true contender for game of the year 2011. Hell, you should be playing this even if you don’t normally do RPG’s – it’s just that good.
games
thirteen 1 - game review - footba Football Manager season is upon us! Gentlemen, prepare to put your social life on the transfer list. Yup, it’s time to put our pub banter tactics to the test and show that we really do have what it takes to manage our favourite football club. SI Games have made numerous changes to Football Manager 12 when compared to FM11, and while they may not all be obvious at first, they are both abundant and brilliant. There’s a wealth of new features in this iteration that players of the previous games are sure to appreciate, with over 800 additions and tweaks when compared to last year’s FM11. As usual, Football Manager thrusts into the role of gaffer of the club of your choice and it is up to you to balance the tactics, transfer policy, board expectations, and the wages of your prima donna players - all while keeping the fans happy and getting vital results in the league. The depth is so grand that, by the end of your first 3 months, you’ll genuinely begin to appreciate the difficulties of a top flight manager...only without the grey hair…or monogrammed training jacket. A lot of changes have been made to the
transfer systems. If you consider yourself to be a bit of a Ferguson (or a Wenger, if you prefer French players), the changes are nothing short of brilliant. The player search screens have a much greater level of detail than before, similar to that available on FM Genie Scout - the much loved unofficial scouting assistant program for FM games. Contract negotiations have been massively overhauled too, allowing more control over than ever before over the individual clauses that can make or break a transfer. You have more control over your youth players too, with each of them having an assessment at the end of the season – or you can just scrap them altogether if their too much of a strain on your resources. A major change comes in the way of a “tone” system, which allows you to realistically choose exactly how you speak with your players. While the instructions themselves largely remain the same as before, making your message with an aggressive, assertive, passionate, calm, cautious, or reluctant tone adds a real distinction to your action. Cautiously telling your team, “You can do this,” could drop Jack
all manager 2012 Hobbs motivation, allowing McCormack and co. to tear your defence apart. Whereas passionately saying, “You can do this!” instead could get Hobbs, Rosenior and Fryatt thoroughly pumped, resulting in a satisfying 4-3 aggregate win over Leeds (we speak from experience!). The 3D match engine remains the same in all major aspects but has been made noticeably smoother, resulting in a much tenser touchline affair, and you can even customise touchline shouts now to really put yourself in the dugout during match day. Customisable shouts allow you to replicate complicated Benitez-style hand signals in just a couple of clicks! SI games have put a tremendous amount of time into streamlining the GUI, making every screen more efficient, and there’s far more information on every screen than ever before. Despite already being the best in its genre, there has been no touchline complacency here. Fans of the series be warned, you WILL lose your social lives to this game – we recommend rolling around on the floor a few times and feigning injury whenever somebody tries to pull you away.
SPORT!
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HULL STINGRAYS ELITE LEAGUE STANDINGS END OF NOVEMBER 2011
Another month has passed and sees Hull Stingrays down to 8th in the table. The month of November has seen 2 wins against Cardiff and Fife. 2 draws against Cardiff and Coventry. & 6 loses against Nottingham, Sheffield (twice), Edinburgh, Braehead and a high scoring close encounter against Fife, losing 4-5.
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HULL CITY AFC THE VIEW FROM E2: Wow, what a month November has been. To a large extent it has been quite disheartening, as not only did Nigel Pearson leave us, but we’ve seen a lot of our good early season work being un-done. OK, so if you actually delve deeper into things, we shouldn’t actuallly be too disheartened. Results aside, we’ve actually been playing some really good football, the sad thing is, now we’ve realised we know how to score, our tight defence has some how forgotten how to defend. I don’t think it helps our young defence with a rookie keeper behind them. Defenders need someone they know they can trust and rely on - I don’t think Peter Gulacsi is that man. It’s a shame Basso has picked up various injuries which has left us having to resort to using the Liverpool youngster between the sticks. If Basso’s injury concerns are so bad that he can’t play, with games coming thick and fast, it may be ideal to look to an experienced free agent on a short term deal? Richard Kingson who left Blackpool in the summer is still available on a free transfer and has kept himself fit training with Wigan Athletic. Vedran Runje who Nigel Pearson kept tabs on in the summer is also still available after, ironically, failing to impress Sven Goran Eriksson in a trial
at Leicester in October. Leeds recently took on Maik Taylor in a deal to January - heck, if Ken Bates can dig into his pockets to land a veteran on a short term deal, I’m sure the Allams would be happy to. It’s such a shame for Nick Barmby that his first steps into management have come when they have - I mean having to take on Southampton, Leicester and Birmingham in quick succession is tough, as tough as it gets in this league - ‘a baptism of fire’ is the term usually spouted. I think Nick will start to learn very fast and he’ll have to in this league, I mean the teams are so tightly packed, we’re 1 win away from a play-off spot, but only a couple of defeats away from being dragged into a relegation battle. I think the caretaker role is a mutual thing, both parties can see if it is what they want, I think both the club and Nick himself will give it till the Derby game in January to see if the club is moving in the correct direction. Which moves us on to January - there are rumours circulating that Billy Sharp is a target - one that I cannot see, but would welcome with open arms if true. It may well be worth looking at picking up some cheap options from Pompey with their financial restrictions - Any of Varney, Lawrence, Huseklepp, Benjani, Kitson or Mullins would be a welcome addition to our squad.
the danger men - Dec/jAN After another month of football sees new challenges throughout the next two months. Once again we bring you our ‘the danger men’ feature and give you an insight into who we feel the Tigers need to be more alert about than others amongst the opposition in upcoming games. ANDY KING:
We can safely say we’re looking forward to this one - the return of Nigel Pearson! Now, Leicester have a great squad and will be in a new lease of life now they’re under a more structured leadership, making them hard to score against. Andy King is our pick as their biggest danger - always looks likely to score.
JAY RODRIGUEZ:
Another one banging them in for a laugh - I bet Blunts fans are pulling their hair out seeing his form this season. Simpson can’t play against us, with us being his parent club. Another player to look out for is Liam Trotter - he’d be high up on our shopping list if we were Nick Barmby - a top, top player.
JEAN BEAUSEJOUR:
JEFF HENDRICK:
LUKAS JUTKIEWICZ:
GEORGE BOYD:
DARIUS HENDERSON:
JIMMY KEBE:
SCOTT MCDONALD:
EL HADJI DIOUF:
Birmingham, despite having sold quite a few of their ‘star’ players have a top notch squad and have been over-looked simply due to not having played as many games as other teams and they’re now catching up. Beausejour looks like a player who can turn a game on it’s head on his own. She said ‘no Marlon’ ready!
This lad is banging them in for fun in a poorly performing Coventry side. Coventry are a potential banana skin - they’ve lost a lot of quality and not really spent anything in replacing those players, but are holding their own so far, so City need to be on guard. We’d still take Jutkiewicz, Clingan and Cranie off their hands for the Tigers.
Another one banging them in for a laugh - I bet Blunts fans are pulling their hair out seeing his form this season. Simpson can’t play against us, with us being his parent club. Another player to look out for is Liam Trotter - he’d be high up on our shopping list if we were Nick Barmby - a top, top player.
A Boxing Day journey to Middlesborough, lets hope we don’t need radars to pick out our players this year, after last seasons snowy encounter. Our pick for this is Scott McDonald as he’s recently come into goalscoring form, but Marvin Emnes was a massive handful with his physical prescence last season.
Derby again so soon too. A big test for Barmby, does he go with the same tactics as his first game in charge and risk being found out, or go with something new and risk it not working? The key to winning this will be the battle in midfield again and Derby’s best player in the centre has been Jeff Hendrick.
This bloke is a class act and we’re surprised no bigger clubs have picked him up yet, despite being 26. He seems to roam free and is great at picking out a pass to set up his team mates. A very unselfish player. Emile Sinclair’s pace needs watching, after his goals for Macclesfield knocked us out the cup.
As is the case with players in the last year of their contracts looking to earn a bumper pay deal at a bigger club, they usually play out of their skin to stand out from the crowd and bring themselves to the attention of other clubs and Kebe has expressed a desire to move away in the summer.
Doncaster have brought in some big name players recently. Pascal Chimbonda, Marc-Antoine Fortune, Carl Ikeme, Habib Beye, Herita Illunga and El Hadji Diouf and you know full well if it’s one of their newer additions to strike against us, it’s bound to be the latter, it’s always the pantomine villain. Not forgetting Donny have Billy Sharp!
FOOTIE FEATURE: THE STAN MCEWAN COLUMN
Stan McEwan
6 It’s been a tough old month for the Tigers and Stan McEwan talks about how City have dealt with it all, feeling surprised by Nigel Pearson’s exit. “It’s a shame he left. He got everyone in he wanted, got rid of all those he didn’t want, they were just starting to gel - I was very surprised, he was getting everything right on the pitch, making progress and now he’s going to have to do it all again at Leicester, rebuilding his own squad”. People still don’t know the reason for which Pearson left his comfortable position in East Yorkshire, but Stan McEwan believes it’s quite straight forward. “I think it’s purely for money. I mean I’m not sure if that’s true, but the numbers being quoted, you’d think that it’s the most likely reason, but as I said, the fact of the matter is, he’ll now have to rebuild again there”. Many City fans have been left worried that Pearson will return to rip a tightknit squad apart in January by taking them down to Leicester with him. Stan gives his views on the matter. “I don’t think that’ll have been part of any agreement - I think they’ll have said, yes you can take the manager, but you’re not taking any of these players. It’s a difficult one, it’d be hard to prise them away - I think they’re all settled, we’re doing well and hopefully none of them want to go
anyway. Pearson played it all very close to his chest, he was always very guarded in interviews too, so I bet all the players were left in the dark by him”. Pearson leaving left City looking for a new manager with the club choosing to appoint from within with Hull-born Nick Barmby taking the reigns. “I think it’s a great appointment - the crowd love him, as they say ‘he’s one of our own’, everyone knows him and I think he’s given the players a lift, similar to how he does when he comes on as a sub. He’s added a new tempo” says Stan. Many people say the appointment is a gamble and/or a cheap option, but Stan McEwan sees it differently; “I think everything depends on how the club goes with it - is Nick going to become full time? Are the club on the look out for a new permanent manager? Nick has only been named a caretaker, so who knows. It’ll depend if Nick does well. He needs a bit of experience, but I think it’ll mainly come down to Nick himself, whether he feels he’s ready to do it full time. If after a few games he feels he’s not ready, I’d rather he steps down to become an assistant if he’s not sure. I want to see him stay at the club forever - he’s played at the top, he’s got a lot of clout and a lot of respect and will do the best for this club and aim to bring the best players to Hull City”.
With some big games coming up and a January transfer window for strengthening not too far away, Stan feels the next couple of months could be big for Hull City. “The Leicester and Birmingham games are big ones, then there is Coventry and Millwall - they’re potential ‘Burnley style games’ as they’re both down there. Sometimes it’s hard to take a loss, but this league shows you’ve just got to stay positive and always look forward. Burnley played Leeds on TV the week before City played them and Burnley were all over them yet lost 2-1, yet against us, we were all over them and they beat us, you just can’t predict this league and just have to move on from a defeat straight on to the next game and focus on that. I think looking at the bench shows how thin the squad is at the moment. We have a lot of games coming up between now and the end of the January transfer window - if we get some injuries to key players, we’ll be deep in it, because we have nobody to replace them. Olofinjana could be a big boost, he’s a big bloke - if we can get him fit, he’ll be good for the team. I think we need another midfielder and a keeper,
but who makes these decisions on who comes in? I think Barmby’s future needs sorting permanent or not by then. Gulacsi looks nervy, we need to get Basso back in as soon as we can, then sort a keeper out in January. On the striking front, it looks like Waghorn will go back to Leicester and Adebola either needs to start if he’s needed to play, or not play at all as he seems to take far too long to get into games when he comes on from the bench. I think rather than buy a new striker, I’d like to see Jay Simpson return. He was unfortunate before as he was on form then left out. Pearson didn’t do much for his confidence, now there is a chance for him to come back and show what he can do. It means being able to spend money in other areas and Nick knows him, he knows the lad has skill and can score goals. As for Brady, if he goes back in January, we’ll miss him. Has the change in manager affected him? I know Nick well and he’ll be encouraging to all the players. I reckon most players will know Nick better than Nigel anyway, as Nigel only spoke to the players at training and at games, Nick has always had a laugh with the lads.
More from Stan McEwan next month.
player of the month Player of the month... Matty Fryatt. Talk about an in-different month for quite a few of our players. We had a good number playing well at the start of the month with Jack Hobbs and Paul McKenna both originally in contention, but it’s safe to say the only player to have kept any consistency this month is Matty Fryatt, who has taken his goal tally for the season up to 7 - if he can net a couple more goals in the next few, he’ll be on course for 20 by May.
HULL KR Pre season training started for Hull Kingston Rovers early November even whilst the international season was still in full tilt. And yet head coach Craig Sandercock observed that pre season would be far shorter than he had been used to in the NRL so for him there was much to do in a relatively short time. And indeed the Rovers first team squad were soon put through their paces with ‘more power’ from the forwards and ‘more speed’ from the backs being the objectives. Also of course were the basic skills training that Sandercock sets such stall by and apparently even experienced and skilful players like Ben Galea were found to have picked up a few bad habits in this department. The first 2 weeks of training coincided with pretty decent weather for the time of year but all that seemed to be changing come week 3 which just happened to be when the last of the overseas players arrived, Con Mika and Mickey Paea. Must say the 2 of them looked extremely strong and athletic in their club tee shirts...and also very cold! But it was very pleasing for those of us who remember the not too distant days of administration to have every single player on board and training in November. Even a year ago we were waiting for Willie Mason not knowing we would have to wait a lot more still! Ditto the year before with Joel Clinton. Poor old Gary Wilkinson must still have nightmares about that season a few years back when Rovers only had a handful of players even signed up and with only a week or 2 for the start of the season! What a lot has changed since then but I would like to say that back then in the circumstances Gary Wilkinson did a real good job. He put everything into his job and had a passion and enthusiasm for the club. I still remember when the TV cameras were in the dressing rooms at Dewsbury for a play off game and ‘Wilco’ was telling the players to be proud of their ‘Hull Kingston Rovers family’. Great stuff and of course Rovers won that game in good style. Amazing to think that Dewsbury were the favourites to win that game but a Chris Charles inspired Hull KR upset the odds. Chris Charles was perhaps Rovers star player back then and not long after he was enticed away by.......Salford. As I say, what a lot has changed! Con Mika and Mickey Paea will no doubt be delighted that on 13 December they and the squad will be jetting off for a weeks warm weather training in
Tenerife. This is a positive move I feel after a couple of years of ‘camp’ being within these shores. Yes it is a costly exercise but with the Super League season starting on Feb 3 it is vital to ensure that what is the most important week of pre season is not disrupted by ice & snow. Talking about Mika and Paea these are 2 players similar in some ways. Both are explosive runners with strong leg drive and aggressive defenders. Paea has the edge in NRL experience but it is probably fair to say that Con Mika is the more exciting player such is the abundance of skill he has. Those fans who have complained of the lack of offloads from Rovers players are going to like Constantine Mika. Paea likes to offload too but in his case it is perhaps better he keeps this under wraps he needs to focus more on ball retention. But both players could well turn out to be real crowd pleasers. The season opener on Feb 3 will be away to Super League champions Leeds Rhinos. Welcome to Super League Sandy. And to back that up Rovers will be the only team to start with 2 straight away games before a first home game in round 3 against Grand Finalists St Helens. In case that was not tough enough Rovers then face a 3rd away game in 4 at 2011league leaders Warrington. So you can see that it really is important Rovers hit their straps early. I notice that many Leeds fans regarded their opening fixtures as ‘easy’ and welcomed this with their World Club Challenge taking place early in the season. Well it would seem that Rovers are well under the radar for some people but maybe the team can take advantage of this. The less people know of the exciting playing & coaching talents at Hull KR the better and hopefully it will be a few weeks before people catch on. Fans will be pleased that Rovers will be wearing a traditional style home shirt in 2012. Personally I feel this should always be the case, with a bit of imagination this could be achieved whilst still bringing in a new design each year. The important thing is that every home shirt
every year should be instantly recognisable as being Hull Kingston Rovers. This has not always been the case and it is disappointing when Rovers fans are wearing their shirts in places like Sydney & Brisbane and no one knows who it is because the shirt design looks more like Salford or the Peru football team. Just a personal view!
5-David Hodgson. A purple patch in the middle of 2011 had him scoring some great tries but he faded as the season progressed and Huddersfield let him go. He is a good finisher but he needs to prove he still has what it takes and that he is actually any better than Peter Fox or Liam Colbon. 6-Blake Green. Season 2 syndrome is what he needs to guard against. He was a big success in 2011 as a surprise package. Can he do it again? Even I can read his ‘show Finally I referred earlier to the long wait a year ago for one and go’ from up on high in row G of the Roger Millward William Marshall Mason. Of course when the wait finally ended Stand but Super League defences couldn’t. Don’t want to that was only the start of the saga. You will of course recall the brag but I could read Paul Manssons show and go from up deregistration of Michael Dobson, the Tongan passport calamity there too. Yeah I really could well most of the time maybe. and that in the end W.M. Mason played just 6 games for the club before departing for the more lucrative pastures of French Rugby And Mansson’s that was the very best show and go ever. Actually I kid you , Paul Mansson had a show and go that Union. Big Willie was seen in the crowd at Elland Road for the was SO convincing you’d sometimes bollock him for getting Australia 4 nations final game accompanied by Rovers players it wrong before realising he’s got it right. He was called a Blake Green and Jake Webster. Nice to see he still has mates at ‘one trick pony’ but WHAT a trick. Actually with a bit of pace Hull KR and he certainly had enough time to take in the game. Paul Mansson would have been unplayable. After 15 games of the season Willie Mason has made just 3 7-Michael Dobson. Absolute class act and a class goal appearances for Toulon RU. and just 1 in the last 13! Good old kicker. For all the changes Dobbo will be just as important Willie but think I am glad he is someone else’s problem now! as ever. 8-Joel Clinton. It’s no secret the club wanted him out and he was encouraged to talk to Widnes & London SQUAD NUMBERS 2012 Broncos. The man would not be shifted though which is his prerogative with a year left on his contract. He certainly Some people say squad numbers don’t mean anything seems to be enjoying life under Sandercock a lot more than well I’d say it is more a case that they don’t mean Morgan. ‘Changes have been made and they were needed’ everything. But they do mean something and here is a brief run down of the full time professionals at Hull KR in he has said. We all know how good he can be and he seems to have found his enthusiasm again. If so he will be season 2012. as good a ‘new’ signing as we have made, having barely featured in 2011. 1-Shannon McDonnell. Some people are predicting 9-Josh Hodgson. Talent yes. Enthusiasm yes. But poor that McDonnell will be the best Rovers full back since decision making and some basic errors have stunted George Fairburn. With exciting elusive running skills his progress. Surprised he has got the 9 shirt in front of they may have a point. He is currently at Rovers very much on the cheap with salary cap restrictions meaning Withers but Sandy will have his reasons. 10-Scott Taylor. The cream of the new crop. ‘He has earned he has a similar one year deal that had been offered to Misi Taulapapa. Persuaded to join at a cut price by Craig the 10 shirt , he has trained well from day 1’ says Sandy. 2011 was his breakthrough year but I expect even better in Sandercock he is sure to prove much more valuable 2012. than that - expect a long term deal to be offered well before the season ends TO BE CONTINUED..........squad numbers 11 to 33. 2-Craig Hall . This is the opportunity Craig has waited By His Bobness for and deserves. Cruelly neglected by Justin Morgan on the grounds that ‘he can only really play centre’ it is fascinating to hear Sandercock say ‘He can play centre, wing or full back for me and he’s training for all 3 positions’. With the ever versatile Ben Cockayne now gone, this could be important. 3-Kris Welham. More of the same please Kris and if you can improve further you’ll be in the England team next time. 4-Jake Webster. Much more like his best form in 2011 and a class act.
HULL FC This month has seen the start and finish of the end of season four nations tournament in which England, Australia, New Zealand and Wales compete for the crown of the four nations champions which was held by New Zealand after they beat Australia in last years final with a try in the last few minutes to win the game. I will be particularly paying attention to the progress of Kirk Yeaman and Tom Briscoe the only two Hull FC representatives in the England Squad both players featured as the left hand side centre and wing partnership for every game of the tournament. England kicked off the four nations against the newcomers Wales who replaced Papua New Guinea in this years competition after qualifying last year. However it wasn’t a happy opening for the Welsh, Sam Tomkins was the star of the show as England opened their Four Nations campaign with a comfortable 42-4 victory over Wales. The Wigan Warriors fullback Tomkins scored four of his side’s eight tries, getting over twice in each half against the tournament outsiders at Leigh Sports Village. England didn’t waste the early opportunity to get on the scoreboard Rangi Chase’s delayed pass allowing Tomkins to open his account. Having gone in on the left for his first the full-back switched sides to double his tally, this time Kevin Sinfield setting him up before also adding the extras. When the promising half-back pairing of Chase and Sinfield then set up Hull FC centre Kirk Yeaman for a third try after 21 minutes, England looked on course to pile on the points ahead of tougher tests against Australia and New Zealand.
Tomkins completed his treble in the 49th minute, cantering over after Gareth Ellis’ burst down the middle had split Wales’ defence wide open. Two further tries from Tomkins and Reed made it three in nine minutes for England. Still Wales refused to go down without a fight, a flowing move of their own leaving Kear just enough space to squeeze in at the corner. The closing stages belonged to replacement Widdop, though, pushing his claims for a place in the starting lineup by creating one try and scoring another. It was his charge through a massive gap in the first line of defence that gifted Heighington a first score in an England shirt, while Widdop then rounded out proceedings by accepting Hall’s pass and scampering in at the right. Next up for England was Australia at Wembley the Kangaroos ran out the winners by six tries to four, but England had much the better of the opening exchanges and could have done much better had they taken their chances throughout the match. Australia seemed to punish every mistake England made, and their chances were not helped when Hull FC wing Tom Briscoe had a definite try ruled out on the field when the video ref would have had no option but to award the score it was a hugely contentious moment when referee Henry Perenara ruled Briscoe had used a double movement to get the ball down over the line. But he decided not to go to the video ref to confirm, and the crowd inside Wembley voiced their disapproval when replays showed Briscoe had clearly not grounded the ball carrying arm before going over the line, it was only 18-8 at the time, and it could have been a game changer. Ryan Hall scored twice, the first being a fantastic finish, while Jack Reed and Chris Heighington both crossed for England, but injuries to Jamie Peacock and Ben Westwood lightened England in the pack. Australia scored through Luke Lewis,Greg Inglis, Chris Lawrence, Darius Boyd, Tony Williams and Paul Gallen, while Jonathan Thurston was exemplary with the boot as he converted all six tries. Next was a must win game against the current champions New Zealand with the winners guaranteeing themselves
experience for the Hull based players as the game was played in front of a passionate crowd at the KC stadium. England reached the final of the Gillette Four Nations with a dominant 28-6 victory over the holders New Zealand in Hull. England’s win sets up another clash with Australia at Elland Road next Saturday night when they will look to avenge their 36-20 defeat by the Kangaroos at Wembley. Midway through the half an electrifying run from Tomkins took England 60 metres up field and four tackles later his grubber kick forced a drop-out. But again the chance went begging as Kirk Yeaman knocked on an ill-judged bullet pass from Sinfield. The England breakthrough finally arrived on 26 minutes. The ball was quickly spread out wide and Yeaman put his Hull colleague Tom Briscoe sliding in at the left corner. Sinfield converted from the touchline and England led 6-0. Sinfield’s cross field kick just after the break was well collected and flicked back by Reed and Ben Westwood put Ryan Hall in at the corner for a brilliant one-handed finish. Sinfield converted from the touchline once again and England led 14-0. England survived three successive sets but on 58 minutes their defence was stretched and Gerard Beale’s pass put Jason Nightingale in at the corner. However when New Zealand had some pressure on England’s line somehow Hull FC’s Tom Briscoe emerged from a melee with the ball and raced 70 metres to relieve the pressure. It was left to Graham to apply the killer blow followed by a late Tomkins try to add some gloss to the scoreline. The final was to be played between pre tournament favourites Australia and England at Elland Road, however Australia regained the Gillette Four Nations title with a 30-8 victory over England in the final at Elland Road. Sam Thaiday beat Tom Briscoe to Jonathan Thurston’s
cross-kick to touch down in the corner after just three minutes, a try which Thurston converted. England built up some pressure after two knock-ons and Kevin Sinfield’s fine pass looked to have put his Leeds colleague Ryan Hall in at the corner. However the winger dropped the ball but after a late high shot and a penalty try was awarded. Thurston kicked a penalty to make it 8-6 at half time. England kicked a penalty just after half time to level the scores, however Jamie Jones-Buchanan was penalised for holding on and this gave an invitation for Darius Boyd to put Jharal Yow Yeh in at the corner, with Thurston converting. Just past the hour mark Paul Gallen burst through the middle and it was that man again Thurston to score underneath the posts. England’s had a chance to score after Uate failed to deal with a high kick but James Roby’s pass went to ground and Greg Inglis made them pay, going over unopposed. All that remained was for Darren Lockyer to have the final say in his last appearance on a rugby field. He duly did, completing his 59th and final cap by sliding in a grubber kick against an upright and then touching down for his final try in Rugby League however his attempted conversion was one to forget. Kirk Yeaman and Tom Briscoe performed solidly in defence and attack throughout the series however England just fell short of Australia once again which is becoming a regular occurrence in the game of Rugby League.
By Jed Rust
reviews
New hull
VAMPIRE’S ROCK Steve Steinman shows us just how vampire’s rock out. It’s safe to say we weren’t 100% sure what to expect when on our way to reviewing this, but it had been recommended to us and after what initially came across as a Hull meets vampires version of the Sak Noel ‘Loca People’ song - i.e. we saw lots of people dressed up as vampires and dead people partying / dancing around at the theatre and we
were like WTF?!! we really got into this. The live vampire band are very, very good! The timing and especially the guitar playing is phenomenal - great skills on the axe. The reason for the initial confusion was because the start of the show seemed to resemble a not so great singing fat man, that had us thinking the bald bloke from Crystal Maze had really let himself go! Later
we realised the initial songs just didn’t suit him vocally, with other songs being very impressive and the image is what eventually adds to the humour of the show overall. The female lead has an amazing voice and reminds us of Gwen Stefani. A great show that could be even better with a touch-up / better focus on the storyline which accompanies the show, as it
seems to come across as a bit of an after-thought addition. The show seems to be aimed more at an adult crowd with a fair bit of swearing and some sexbased jokes thrown in that all get a chuckle. There was some
great crowd interaction which adds to the show greatly and makes you feel a part of it. If you’re a fan of rock N’roll you will love this, as it mixes rock classics with humour and a hint of a storyline, which we’ve al-
ready brushed upon. Hits such as ‘Welcome to the Jungle’, ‘Hells Bells’, ‘Since you’ve been gone’, ‘Poison’ and ‘Highway to Hell’ are just a few of the greats they perform in their own unique way. Top theatrical rock opera!
reviews
Truc k hull
THE DEBT COLLECTORS Godber brings his first play since leaving Hull Truck to Hull Truck. Since leaving his post as the in-house playwrite at Hull Truck Theatre, John Godber has gone on to setup the John Godber Company, stationed at the Theatre Royal in Wakefield. His first piece since Hull Truck is called The Debt Collectors, of which the official line goes a little like; ‘The Debt Collectors mixes money and love with the love of money, as two out of
work actors fall into the world of debt recovery. It’s a role they despise but a job they were made for, and they are desperate for cash. But all is not what it seems in this hilarious comedy of unpaid bills, offers of sex and boozy bailiffs!’. The play starts off very slow, but once it gets into it, you then find yourself enjoying it, like a dryhumoured version of Max and
Paddy. The actors play their parts brilliantly, with each mannerism down to perfection. Some of the jokes are a bit too old-fashioned, very ‘On The Buses’ and ‘Porridge’ like, but there are enough jokes in there to keep the younger audiences happy, such as getting hand-shandies off a fit Polish bird instead of her repaying her debt! The climax to the play is a more unexpected one and well written.
The Debt Collectors stars
starred in many
Lucky Sods, Bouncers
actors William Ilkley as
Hull Truck Theatre
(in joke in Debt
Loz and Rob Hudson as
productions in the past
Collectors), Up N’ Under
Spud. Both actors have
including the likes of
and On The Piste.
reviews
Fruit hull
GUILLEMOTS Alt-rock quartet bring their unique sounds to Humber Street. We’ve had a stupid amount of chances to see Guillemots live at various festivals over the years, but have only caught the ending of their set once out of about six opportunities due to rubbish set clashes. Now we finally got a chance to see Guillemots in all their glory, up close and personal at a tightknit setting in Fruit on Humber Street. In support was Kyla La
Grange, who is becoming somewhat of a resident in Kisser having been in a couple of issues previously, so you should already know that we think she’s a brilliant performer. Guillemots enter the stage with a bang - and we mean that literally with lead singer Fyfe Dangerfield falling over in the dark making his way to his keyboard. As far as perform-
ances go, this was such a brilliant gig. The lighting was set down low to create a mood which was replicated in the setting of the music which reached out to the onlooking audience of which there was a good number in attendance. Guillemots are made up of four completely different characters, but they work and fit so well together. There is Fyfe Dang-
erfield, who beams out a great vocal range and has a proper frontman’s stage prescence. MC Lord, the Brazilian guitarist who met Fyfe through an advert in NME, with his scraggily locks making sounds Rage Against
The Machine’s Tom Morello would be proud of. Aristazabal is the good-looking female on an upright bass adding sassiness and then there is Greig on drums, an expert percussionist. What made this gig so good
was the length, Guillemots played for nearly 2 hours and the intimacy throughout a range of songs from their 3 albums including Mercury Music nominated ‘Through the window pane’ and a 20 minute encore!
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WHAT S ON COMING TO THE BLANKS HULL UNIVERSITY 05/12/11 Ted from hit US sitcom Scrubs brings his singing group to Hull!
FATBOY SLIM BRIDLINGTON SPA 09/12/11 Norman Cook is returning to East Yorkshire after spending his days in our area as part of The Housemartins. Expect all the hits from one of the world’s biggest DJs.
PROUD MARY THE ADELPHI 06/12/11
A CHRISTMAS CAROL BRIDLINGTON SPA 10/12/11
The last of his species - Piff The
One to take the kids to we all know this classic!
Magic Dragon, the award-winning stand-up card trickster. Broke the Edinburgh Fringe record for most box office take in one night.
THE FLINT STREET NATIVITY HULL TRUCK THEATRE 08/12/11-to-14/1/12 The hilarious and touching comedy of Christmas misunderstandings - all about what happens when you’re not playing Mary.
A VERY HAROLD & KUMAR CHRISTMAS CINEMAS 09/12/11 Harold and Kumar are back after Guantanemo Bay and they’re set to hit the festive spirit in the only way they know how.
PETER ANTONIOU PAVE 11/12/11 A well respected and very impressive mind reader - a show he has had on in the West End.
MISSION IMPOSSIBLE GHOST PROTOCOL CINEMAS 14/12/11
Tom Cruise is back, looking a bit more haggered than usual and up to his usual tricks. Will the fourth MI film live up to the great plot of MI:3? It’ll be tough.
OUR AREA! SHERLOCK HOLMES: A GAME OF SHADOWS CINEMAS 16/12/11 Sherlock Holmes is back, and this is another film which has a lot to live up to, based on the brilliant first film.
ROY CHUBBY BROWN HULL CITY HALL 20/01/12 Royston Vasey AKA highly controversial comedian Roy Chubby Brown returns to Hull for another early year show.
HUMBER STREET MARKET HUMBER STREET 18/12/11
THE SITTER CINEMAS 20/01/12
The excellent market everyone loved throughout this year’s Freedom Festival is back in the Fruit Market area.
The Sitter is a new comedy were Jonah Hill stars as a layabout forced to take a job as a child sitter. All is well till he’s invited to a party for sex whilst sitting.
WAR HORSE CINEMAS 13/01/12 War Horse looks to be one of those well-written films that is going to bag many major awards. All the more better knowing Spielberg directed it.
LIMEHOUSE LIZZY FRUIT 19/01/12 Thin Lizzy tribute act take their whiskey in the jar to Fruit.
UNDERWORLD AWAKENING 3D CINEMAS 20/01/12 The fourth film in the Underworld collection. Kate Beckinsale returns to find humans have called out war against vampires and lycans.
THE GREY CINEMAS 27/01/12 Liam Neeson stars in this thriller about a group who’s plane crashes in Alaska and have to survive wolf attacks who see them as intruders.
LOCAL NEWS Hull
ARE WE ABOUT TO SEE AN INFLUX OF COCKNEY’S TO OUR AREA?
According to various reports in the national media, many of the 300 homeless families living in B&Bs in Croydon, South London, due to a lack of suitable council housing, could possibly be paid by Croydon Council to move to Hull, Bridlington, Withernsea and Hornsea. As usual the national papers went out of their way to make sure a derogatory remark is a part of their reporting, as is usually the case when the Southern-based media mention anything about Hull. The remark was made by one of the Croydon residents currently homeless. William Eades, 32, said: “It might be bad in Croydon, but who would want to up sticks and move to Hull? I’ve been to Hull and it doesn’t have much going for it, and coming from someone living in Croydon that’s saying something”. We’re happy in the knowledge William is living out of bags in
a Croydon B&B and won’t be coming to Hull, he can keep his life of rioters, knife-crime, guncrime, over-crowding and racist tram riders. Vanessa Feltz then stuck her overweight oar in and made very patronising comments as though to say the homeless, unemployed Croydonites would be great for Hull, as if to say ‘well they may be on benefits, but they’re from the South, much more civilised than you Northerners’ - which is the view I believe David ‘Burnsie’ Burns took her approach as during their on-air radio debate, to which he made a retort, just not a very good one, with the simple response “but they’re rioters”, to which Feltz then called the kettle black in telling Burns he was being patronising, dear me! She then went on to tell Burns; “You need us, you’ve got a
Croydon
depressed area full of empty properties, begging for Croydonites to come and inhabit them”. Er... the Southern based media as informed as always on what is going on up North. This isn’t a desolate little fishing town as you Londoners living in your M25 bubble would believe. Last we heard the wait for council housing both in Hull and the East Riding of Yorkshire council area have a lengthy waiting list. Burns tried to make a point to blabbermouth Feltz by asking why should Hull be taking Croydon’s unemployed when we have enough people looking for jobs locally as it is, to which Feltz announced that we should be welcoming and happy to help these Croydonites out. Ok, as you think it seems a great idea Vanessa,
how about the residents of our region on benefits all move into the houses next door to your own? See how happy and welcoming you are - I bet you’d be spouting the complete opposite live on your radio show faster than it takes a mentalist to cover a Big Brother kitchen table in jibberish. As always, the Southern based media like to point out just how much they don’t know about the North, with Vanessa not knowing Hull isn’t ‘by the seaside’ - Er, so if you don’t know your arse from your elbow, what makes your remarks on the matter relevant?!! As always, the London media tries to tell us how it is, when we know the situation better than they do - London, it’s NOT the centre of the universe! Get out of your bubble!
LOCAL NEWS
FINALLY, HULL AND EAST YORKSHIRE SEES GOVERNMENT INVESTMENT!
It’s quite fair to say that when the government is dishing out money, be they red or blue (or blue and yellow together), Hull and East Yorkshire never seems to be anywhere near the top of their lists. In an area that has been crying out for investment in recent years as the recession has hit us hard, we have now been thrown a few lifelines by a government many working class citizens may be surprised about. That’s right, the Tories are helping Hull, and in quite some way too - we’re surprised by the level of investment we’re about to see. £10 million is to be spent on improving the A164 between the Humber Bridge and Beverley, which is a nightmare of a road, so greatly needed. We’re also set to be the only region in the UK to have two enterprise zones to help attract more businesses to the area, with 11
sites in Hull, 1 in Brough, 1 in Hedon and a large site at Paull. These sites could see Hull and East Yorkshire establish itself as the UK’s capital for renewable energy. Finally, a massive boost and a help to the regions economy comes in the form of the slashing in half of the Humber Bridge’s debt, cutting the cost of crosssing down from £3 to £1.50 from April. Local businessman Steve Mann told us; “This will be massive for the region - put barriers in the way of businesses and it deters them from happening, take them away and you’ve got a much greater chance of things happening. Even at half price, you offer somebody something half price and they’re much more likely to take you up on the offer. Shoppers may cross 3 times a week instead of their usual once a week trip, which helps both banks”.
In other local news: Local architecture and history enthusiasts are set to make a stand against the demolition of the old Haughton Buildings on the Hull Royal Infirmary site after it was made clear that the NHS Trust who run the site are set to demolish the historic buildings. With Hull having lost so much history throughout two World Wars, the action group look set to try save another vital piece of local history. Keep your eyes open for plans in the near future on how to get involved in this campaign.
MYTHS & LEGENDS DID YOU KNOW... People from our area pronounce hit US TV sitcom How I Met Your Mother, as; ‘Ow Ah Met Yer Mam’.
RANDOM LEGEND THIS MONTH’S RANDOM LEGEND IS...
AC Slater (and his mullet)
THANK YOU! KISSER would like to say a massive Thank You, in no particular order to:
MODEL: Chloe Mc PHOTOGRAPHY: Robert Bentley [Guillemots], Joey Aitchison [model shots], Andrew Billington [The Debt Collectors] and flareandseagulls.com [some Vampire’s Rock] WRITERS/CONTRIBUTORS: Jedrust, His Bobness and Dan at Thirteen1 INTERVIEWEE’S: Stan McEwan, Steve Mann LOCATIONS: Hull College WEB: Impression11 OTHERS: Hull Truck, Fruit, Howard and Hull New Theatre.
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