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HULL AND EAST RIDING LIFESTYLE BY LADS
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04
SPORT
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HULL CITY
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STAN MCEWAN TALKS
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KISSERS GUIDE TO BEST FREES
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HULL KR
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HULL FC
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THE FEMALE FEATURE
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THE PREVIEW
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GAMES
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SLOW CLUB GIG REVIEW
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WHATS ON
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LOCAL NEWS
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WELCOME TO
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THE HULL AND EAST RIDING LADS LIFESTYLE MAG
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This magazine contains adult content and is for people aged 16 and over. Not all the comments made are that of Kisser Magazine and we will not be held responsible for any content you may disagree with. Views expressed are those of the writers not necessarily those of the magazine. All content and rights; Kisser Magazine Ltd.
SPORT!
STINGRAYS
The Hull Stingrays went into the playoffs against the Sheffield Steelers as massive underdogs, yet managed to pull off a huge upset by drawing 2-2 at Hull Arena, then beating the Steelers 5-2 in Sheffield to reach the Semi-finals where they crashed out against the Nottingham
Panthers 10-3 at the National Ice Centre in Nottingham. It finished up a very impressive season for Hull Stingrays, with coach Sylvain Cloutier claiming the win against the Sheffield Steelers, ‘The biggest win in the history of the Hull Stingrays�.
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HULL CITY
Chester has had an outstanding season and looked solid and unfazed in most games this season. Despite his size, he has easily held his own against 6 foot plusers and has been the mainstay of a solid defence which is known to have the joint second best defensive record in the league.
It’s the final countdown - the season has ended and all we have left to do is tell you our thoughts on who we think played GOAL OF THE SEASON: well, who played crap and what we thought was the highlight of our season, There have been plenty of top notch finishes to have as contender for goal so let’s begin shall we? of the season, many of them by Robert Koren, but James Chester at Cardiff PLAYER OF THE SEASON: deserves a mention for it’s use as a We think there have been many contenders this season, as there have been many individual stand out performers. Matty Fryatt has become the first player since our last promotion season to score 15 goals or more. Robert Koren has provided us with a creative spark in his new found role, as well chipping in with 10 goals, Liam Rosenior and Jack Hobbs have both been consistent, Paul McKenna has been an unsung hero of the team with some bullish displays in midfield. But as an all-round team performer, we think the accolade deserves to go to none other than James Chester.
team goal, and Cairney in the cup was a brilliant finish, but Koren Vs Leicester was such a sweet strike and deserves to be goal of the season. MOMENT OF THE SEASON: As for moment of the season, it could quite possibly be beating Leicester at the KC and taunting the Leicester fans and Nigel Pearson - BORING! BORING! BORING! But the last minute Koren winner Vs Watford at the KC takes some beating if we’re honest, so we’ll say that. WORST PLAYER/MOMENT: It all rolls into one here - Peter Gulacsi Vs Leeds - enough said.
Ahh, so here we are, the end of the season has finally reached us. In typical City style the team decided that after a rubbish March, they’d have a brilliant April and leave us with a lingering outside hope of reaching the play-offs, despite most fans having lost hope of reaching them about three weeks earlier.
ed many of the top teams in the division - if anything, it’s our performances against those teams down at the bottom of the table that have let us down. Next season should be an exciting one should Barmby get the transfer kitty he is after to strengthen the side.
A good summer trading mission is Ok, so we started the month with an what is needed to push us that extra injury-hit squad which saw us having step further. We’ve the makings of a to use Liam Cooper at centre-back. very good side, but when looking at He didn’thave the brightest of starts the big squads of Reading and West scoring an own goal, conceading a Ham and the depth of Southampton’s penalty and then getting done for squads the options they have had Middlesbrough’s opener, but since all season are clear and shows then he hasn’t looked back really. our fringe players just aren’t that Cooper has improved quite a lot and good - not for a team wanting to will give Barmby food for thought challenge for promotion anyway. A when deciding whether to bring in goalkeeper is an obvious addition defensive cover until Jack Hobbs is needed, but I’d like to see Mannone back fit. Personally, I think it’s too back if we can’t arrange a fee with much of a gamble if we’re to get off Arsenal. Chester and Rosenior will to a good start next season. If one make up a good back four - can or two mistakes set in at the start of Andy Dawson last another season the season, a poor start could soon though? is Joe Dudgeon ready yet? turn into a disasterous start, and you There will also be a void left by the only have to ask Nottingham Forest injured Jack Hobbs, and I’d quite how much a good start to the season like to see Anthony Gerrard back to means to a team. fill the role there. We could do with some wingers who are more direct As a round up of the season, I and who like to get the ball into the think we can be very pleased of the box, rather than spending the game players achievements and you have trying to walk it there. Someone like to applaud the work Nick Barmby has James Henry at Millwall would be done, considering it is his first stint nice if we had the funds, as would his into managerial waters, he certainly teammate Liam Trotter, and finally hasn’t looked out of place (bar one or we badly need more firepower! We two stubborn decisions not to have can’t spend another full season a plan B, but he’ll learn from that). having to rely on Fryatt to score the We have seen some very impressive goals. So another poacher and a big displays of football and have match- man up top please, Mr.Barmby!
T H E V I E W F R O M E 2
BARMBY & PEARSON GONE - THE FULL STORY HERE BREAKING NEWS: We shall state ‘allegedly’ for now, but we have been told that Hull City manager has been suspended from the club. We have been told that it is due to ‘comments made to the press’. ‘Allegedly’ this is not the only reason for the parting between the club and local lad Nick Barmby. We have heard from sources that the Allams have ‘allegedly’ been doing transfer deals behind Barmby and Adam Pearson’s backs, including an imminent sale of star player James Chester to Leicester amongst a couple of other player deals being talked about, and we believe this is why Barmby kept hinting about an improved deal for Chester in a recent interview - all is not well in the City camp once again, as it looks like the owners have decided to undo all of the hard work of building a good, young side that are capable of competing for promotion
in favour of a quick buck and a chance to save a few pennies, in a move that will see 18 months of hard work, go to waste in months. News of these Allam deals came to a head just the other day which saw a bust up between the Allams, Adam Pearson and Nick Barmby. Barmby has been suspended because of this and Adam Pearson was said to be furious. The Allams, not knowing this, then told Adam Pearson they had already been in talks with former Nottingham Forest and Derby County manager (and ironically, complete hothead that demands transfer funds) Billy Davies. Davies and Adam Pearson were at Derby together and did not get along at all, which resulted in Pearson sacking Davies. Once the Allams let their intensions known to Pearson, it is alleged that this then tipped him over the edge and into quitting the club.
A MESSAGE TO ALL HULL CITY FANS...
In the light of the news that Nick
direction of Newcastle United
Barmby has been suspended by
fans and how they have managed
the club, we’re seeing lots of texts,
to turn their club around into
tweets and messages on forums
something they are proud of... they
of fans stating they will NOT be
did not achieve this by boycotting
renewing their season passes
the games and making the club
because of what has gone on....
look like a small time outfit, they
We will say this: Let’s stick together - vote with your voices, not with your pockets!
stuck together and voiced their frustrations as a unit. Chants, banners and calls for better are the only way forward and the only way to show that it is the supporters who are the lifeline of a club, not the owners - they will continue to
Not going to games will only effect the club, not it’s owners. Will a football team that plays in a stadium with no fans look like a good deal to potential new owners? NO. Most sensible football fans vote with their mouths. Hull City fans need to take a look into the
come and go, as supporters stick around, singing ‘City Til I Die!’ The next few pages show some of the potential deals Barmby was looking at behind the scenes. Oh what could have been...
...LET’S STICK TOGETHER!
Stan McEwan
With 2011/12 seeing City fall just short of a play-off place, Stan McEwan reflects upon the season: “Well, this season has been about as expected as I thought it would be. You can clearly see we’re not equipped enough to be playing in the Premier League just yet. We don’t have enough strength in depth or have enough goals in the side. You look at the top teams in the division, you need to be winning 25, 26, 27 games to be looking at promotion and the teams up there have scored about double what we have, so it just shows. I think we’re yet to see Nick’s team - he’ll have the summer to mould his own side, he’s inherited this team and there may be players in there that he doesn’t want, but he’s done very well with them. Many may see falling short as a disappointment, but is it better for our long-term progress? Stan ponders... “I don’t think it matters either way. You always try to play to the best of your ability and if 7/8th is the best we can achieve then that’s that, but look at the Notts Forest Vs Leeds game the other week, nobody would have predicted that and it tells you all you need to know about this league - you can’t predict it. When talking about progress, you only have to look to the Hobbs and Chester partnership - it’s come on leaps and bounds and they’ve gelled very well together, which will set us with good foundations for next season. I know Hobbs will miss the start of it, but we’ve got all summer and pre-season to settle a replacement in alongside Chester until Hobbs is back - who knows, it may even be Liam Cooper, he’s improved since he came back into the side too”. With a season of good performances, Stan picks out his choice for player of the season: Up until half a dozen games ago, I’d say Rosenior, though he’s gone off the boil a little bit since March. I just
think he’s been very consistent. Dawson has had another great season again. The defence plays very compact and I think Dawson has had a big say with using his experience in that”. With talk surrounding transfer budgets, Stan tells us what he feels is needed to strengthen for next season: “Strength in midfield and especially upfront - we need players who are going to whip a ball in consistently so our strikers know a ball is going to come in, so they know to make these runs, rather than them having to come out to find it all the time. Stewart and Brady, I don’t know what has happened to them, they’ve obviously got talent, but they look suppressed. McKenna has controlled certain games, but we need more Evans/Cairney types to help him, who’re box to box but score goals, as our goal difference is appauling”. Talk turns to the players that have been linked with City already: “Kirkland, well he’s a proven keeper with a lot of experience and will help to reassure the back four. Tomlin, we’ll have to see how that pans out if it comes off, but it’d be a shame for Mclean - I feel sorry for him, as I don’t think he’s had many chances in his main position through the middle. King has come into it as the season has worn down - I’d like to see him back and starting more games. He’s direct which is always good to see. Outgoings are another topic Stan is keen to discuss: As I’ve said, I don’t think we’ve seen Nick’s style in full effect, it will depend on who he wants to bring in, on who will go out, but I think when Nick has moulded his own side, it’s going to be really interesting. Talk of Stewart to Leicester is well, if any player is not happy here, move them on, as you’re never going to get 100% commitment out of them - Nick has to ask questions of them - look, do you want to be here, or not?!!
CHRIS KIRKLAND As everyone will know by now, Chris Kirkland has been training with City with a view to signing on a free transfer this summer. There is no doubting Kirkland has got great ability and would bring a wealth of experience to the side, but many City fans will be pointing towards Kirkland’s recent injury record and hoping for not another season of upheaval between the sticks. Kirkland though has expressed his injury troubles leave him feeling embarassed: “First of all, there’s the embarrassment of it,” Kirkland says. “You think, ‘It’s going to be in the papers again’. People are going to say I can’t stay fit”. Kirkland says he’s fitter now than he has ever been: “Whoever takes me will get a player that is ready to shine again. They will get a player who is hungry to put this behind me, too. “If there was no end in sight, I would be devastated but I know I am nearly there. People only need to see me training to see that”.
EMILE HESKEY & Others
There have been less than concrete murmourings regarding a possible move for Emile Heskey - it w a move that’d come as a surprise to many, but co Barmby and Heskey played together for 2 season Liverpool, you can’t rule it out 100%, but it looks l likely than likely. Another name that has cropped that of former Tiger; Keith Andrews, who played a Barmby at City for a season in 2005/06. The midfi was a stand-out performer in a poor Ipswich side start of the season just finished and is on a FREE from West Brom. A loan move for Leon Barnett ha been whispered, as a possible option for cover w Hobbs is out injured, as Barnett can play anywhe the back four, and also in midfield. He has found left out of the Norwich side, looking for first team
s would be onsidering ns at less up is alongside fielder at the E transfer as also whilst Jack ere across himself football.
LEE TOMLIN There is talk about that Aaron Mclean fancies a move back down South, Nick Barmby fancies making a move for Peterborough’s Lee Tomlin, Lee Tomlin wants out of Peterborough and we have no cash. Solution? Mclean and Tomlin in a possible swap? Well that is the possible deal that has been mooted. Mclean has finished the season injured with 6 goals and 4 assists, playing out of position mainly on the right. Lee Tomlin has finished his first ever Championship season with 9 goals and 10 assists. It also helps that he plays more of a ‘front 3’ role and is also 5 years younger than Aaron Mclean. Can a deal be done?
JOSH KING There has been plenty of talk suggesting that Nick Barmby will go back in for Josh King on a season long loan deal. It is not yet known if Barmby will also go back in for Robbie Brady, but we don’t expect Josh King to be the only player coming in on loan from Man Utd’s youth set-up. Having impressed the coaching staff and fans a-like, King will be seen as an ideal addition by all, with his blistering pace, hunger and effort - he’s just what City need for another good season in The Championship.
KISSER’ S guide to this summers
s best free transfers...
...who’ll be Bully’s star prize?
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JUSSI JAASKELAINEN - BOLTON WANDERERS The veteran shop-stopper has a few good years left in him yet, and may want to be starting more games at this point in his career. The older a player gets, the more they want to play to keep themselves going and stay fit. It’s not yet known whether Jaaskelainen will be offered a new contract at Bolton for next season - we’re sure it’ll depend on a few factors such as the league Bolton are in next season and guarantee’s over amount of game time. If Jussi should become available, he’s certainly the type of reliable, experienced hands we could do with behind our young central defence. Other goalkeepers set to be on free transfers also worth looking at include: Newcastle’s Steve Harper, Sunderland’s Craig Gordon, Wigan’s (on trial at City) Chris Kirkland and Villa’s Brad Guzan.
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ANTHONY GERRARD - CARDIFF CITY Former Hull City loanee and player of the year. Went back to Cardiff expecting to see a fresh start under a new manager after having fallen out with Cardiff’s previous manager, Dave Jones. Gerrard has since been in and out of the Cardiff side and reportedly had a bust up with current manager Malky Mackay. Gerrard has also tweeted that Mackay has not spoken to him since his penalty miss in the Carling Cup final, so it is safe to say that Cardiff will not be offering him a new deal. Barmby knows him well, he’s vocal and with Hobbs missing the start of the season, would make a good option to fill the void. Other central defenders set to be on free transfers also worth looking at include: Bolton’s Zat Knight, who may be offered a new deal, Forest’s Luke Chambers and ADO Den Haag captain Christian Kum.
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MARTIN CRANIE - COVENTRY CITY We’ve just had the central defender position covered in no.2, now we move onto the versatile central defender. If Paul McShane leaves the club, we’ll be short on cover for central defence and the full-back positions. The 6ft former England Under-21 international Martin Cranie fits the bill to fill the void - adds a bit of height to the backline and can play anywhere across the back four having filled in comfortably at rightback and left-back throughout his career. With Coventry being relegated to League One, he may not accept a new deal by the Sky Blues and wish to return to a team in The Championship. Other versatile defenders set to be on free transfers also worth looking at include: Forest’s Joel Lynch, who will no doubt get offered a new deal, and full-back cover in the form of West Brom’s Nicky Shorey.
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SAMMY CLINGAN - COVENTRY CITY A central midfielder - when Robert Koren was out, we didn’t have anyone to step up to the plate to take his position to feed the attackers and create chances. We felt Sammy Clingan ran the show for Coventry in our 2-0 loss to them at the KC Stadium and looked the best player on the pitch (granted, we were having a massive off day). He took all their freekicks and corners, every player in their team looked to him everytime they got the ball, he always made himself available for a pass and his passing was superb to watch. He also made sure he sat back in front of the back 4 when the pressure was on his team - a leader. Other central midfielders set to be on free transfers also worth looking at include: Wigan’s David Jones, Heerenveen captain Viktor Elm or a possible loan option in the form of Man Utd’s Oliver Norwood.
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JEROME THOMAS - WEST BROM Now we’re onto attacking midfielders - some say it was silly of us to have not signed Jerome Thomas when he had a trial with us in the summer of 2009. Available on a free transfer, we instead opted for the fiery Stephen Hunt for about £3.5 million, which perhaps sums up the previous regime pretty well. Jerome Thomas went on to West Brom where he starred in the Championship and helped the Baggies to promotion and has since had regular spells in the side in the Premier League. He may yet get a new contract, if he doesn’t, we hope Nick Barmby still has the phone number of the tricky winger. Other attacking midfielders set to be on free transfers also worth looking at include: Thomas’ West Brom team mate Somen Tchoyi, Brighton’s Vicente, Derby’s Paul Green and former Tiger Paul Anderson.
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SIMEON JACKSON - NORWICH CITY If Simeon Jackson isn’t offered a new deal at Norwich City, he may well be one of the most in demand players for Championship clubs looking to strengthen on a tight budget. The reason for this, is that, looking around the free agents market this summer, you’d be hard pushed to actually find any other forward who has pace, or at least a striker with pace that is enticable to a Championship club. Jackson has pace, power and strength and showed in Norwich’s promotion season what he is capable of doing in this league, having finished the season with 13 goals in the league - he’d make a good addition to the Tigers squad. Other goal scoring strikers set to be on free transfers also worth looking at include: Blackpool’s Kevin Phillips and Lomana LuaLua (both of which, availability will probably depend on promotion or not).
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KEVIN DAVIES - BOLTON WANDERERS Another player who’s contract will most definitely depend on which division his current team are plying their trade in next season. Recently re-promoted to Bolton’s starting line-up puts even more question marks over whether the long-term Wanderer will become available or not. Having spent many weeks on the bench, like his team mate Jaaskelainen, will want to be playing regular football at this stage in his career. With an eye for goal and the exact type of player City need to complete the teams new style as the lone striker to knock defenders about and the ball down for the likes of Koren and Fryatt to pounce on. Other strength-based forwards set to be on free transfers also worth looking at include: Carlisle’s Francois Zoko, Ajax’s Dimitri Bulykin, Pompey’s Benjani and former Tiger Caleb Folan.
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MICHAEL UCHEBO - VVV VENLO Onto the alternative extras. Michael Uchebo is a Nigerian 6 foot 7, YES, 6 foot 7! striker, currently playing for VVV-Venlo in the Dutch Eredivisie. He’s a very raw talent, but at only 22 years old is very much worth a punt on a free transfer. He’d add a great alternative option if Plan A isn’t working, but the fact he’s 6 foot 7 shouldn’t put Barmby off thinking it would result in hoofing the ball long, Uchebo has also got great technical ability and has been compared to a young version of fellow Nigerian, Nwankwo Kanu. Such praise saw Uchebo go on trial at Stoke City back in January, but a deal failed to materialise. Another good alternative option comes in the form of Nicolas Lodeiro, a Uruguayan international with great technical ability, but has failed to settle in the Ajax side since his friend Luis Suarez departed.
...and Bully’s star prize
COVENTRY CITY Well, we’ve already mentioned Coventry City’s two best options in our countdown, in the form of Martin Cranie and Sammy Clingan, and they’re on FREE transfers. Looking at the Coventry squad there aren’t many other players we’d personally look at spending any money on. The only other player from Coventry we can see that would improve our side is that of goalkeeper Joe Murphy, who was great at the KC in March.
PORTSMOUTH Of all the relegated clubs, Pompey are the obvious ones to expolit for cheap transfers, what with their money troubles. They’re also the team with the best players from the three relegated sides. The player that most fits in with Barmby’s style is Luke Varney, who would be a good addition to our side and add experience. David Norris is a tough-tackling goal-scoring midfielder, so ticks all the right boxes, Greg Halford is a versatile player who can play in defence and midfield, as is young Joel Ward who is just as versatile. The 6ft 5 striker; Marko Futacs could make a good plan B from the bench.
DONCASTER ROVERS There aren’t too many players from the Donny side that would really be worth forking any money out for other than perhaps James Coppinger a no nonsense ‘get it in the box’ old skool winger who chips in with goals every so often. Most of Donny’s other decent players worth looking at are actually on FREEs, including Giles Barnes and Simon Gillett who would make good squad additions, as we’re back to 7 subs next season.
cheap options from relegated sides!
CHAMPIONSHIP RIVALS UPDATES We at least know a few of the teams we will be playing against next season, now. We’re not sure who else we want to join us/leave us either. West Ham would be a force in this league once again, but may have to sell a few players to get to where they want to be should they fail to get promoted. If Birmingham stay in this league, it is looking increasingly likely that their money troubles would continue and are another team that could be severely weakened by the start of next season should they remain in
coming back down, and if they appoint a decent manager, they may see themselves as a real force, we can’t imagine too many players leaving the club. Blackburn look to be joining them and look to be in a real state, and either Bolton or QPR look to be the other side, both would stand a good chance of repromotion at the first attempt. The teams coming up from League One don’t look as strong as the teams that came up in the last few seasons, so hopefully that is three less teams to worry about, but don’t underestimate momentum. Player recruitment will soon start and has seen Neil Warnock at Leeds wasting no time, with deals rumoured to be on the table for Jason Pearce at Pompey, Paddy Kenny at QPR, Sol Bamba at Leicester and Paul Green at Derby - real strengthening by a rival so early into the summer.
the Championship. Blackpool seem to have been very lucky, I think over the season City have been a better team than Blackpool, but Blackpool have turned more of their draws into wins. A straight return to the Premier League will see their pockets lined twice in the space of three years, which would see them in a great position should they come back down again, and can we cope with Holloway’s smugness? It’s no longer ‘refreshing’. So that leaves us with Cardiff City - do we want yet another new team going up and collecting the prize money to come back down, making the Championship even tougher to get out of? It’s a tough one to choose from. Wolves will be
CHAMPIONSHIP TEAM OF THE SEASON
Vaz Te
Lambert
McAnuff
Lallana
Snodgrass
Burke
Crainey
Turner
Chester
Trippier
Federici
HULL KR Since I last wrote Rovers have lost Super League games at Castleford and Hull whilst picking up wins at Salford and at home to London. The Robins occupy 9th position in Super League and have also been eliminated from the Challenge Cup by Catalans so when you add all that up it’s a little disappointing. Several things have contributed most notably the loss of key players long term and from day 1, plus a fixture list which has seen a surfeit of away games. It must be said though that the team have had problems all of their own making too, in particular a defence which doesn’t always inspire confidence, a lack of concentration at key times and an inability to maintain standards throughout 80 minutes.
the bottom 5. So Rovers need to start picking up wins against better teams but it seems unlikely that will happen in the next game, away yet again this time
at Wigan. With the array of attacking options the Wigan side have and the genius of Sam Tomkins it is hard to see the Rovers defence coping. The month of May sees 2 blank weekends because of the cup exit so the only other games are home to Castleford and the ‘magic weekend’ clash with Hull. Both of those would seem eminently winnable and it is
Rovers have won 5 games this season and the Huddersfield victory remains the season highlight in fact the other 4 wins have all been against teams currently in
important to pick up 2 points in each of them. So what of the prospects for the rest of the season? Well last season’s top 6 look very likely to be this season’s top
because a lot of those home games are against very good teams but the opportunity to kick on is there.
6 and the indifferent start to the season has given Rovers a mountain to climb to challenge them. So realistically it will be a good effort from here if last season’s 7th place can be matched. But I expect better fortunes in the 2nd half of the season. After the Wigan game Rovers will have played every other team once,
One man Rovers fans simply have to keep faith with is coach Craig Sandercock. Sandy works incredibly hard and at ALL levels of the club from U15’s upwards and is helping to build the foundations needed to progress for years ahead. He’s had loads of problems in his way and he’s got a first team squad he didn’t assemble himself. There are a lot of players out of contract this year and Sandy will have a busy off season bringing in players of his choice. He deserves the opportunity to do that and to continue his excellent work with the younger players. In the meantime he has the chance to get Rovers into the play offs this season and he still has a good chance of doing so. By His Bobness.
but with 8 away games and 5 at home. So it’ll be 8 at home and 5 away after that and importantly the key players are returning slowly but surely. The return of Blake Green is a massive boost and the long delayed debut of Ryan O’Hara could be just as important. Rovers pack has looked great when on the front foot and on a roll but the durable, tough, hard tackling and experienced O’Hara could be what we need. It still won’t be easy
HULL FC
Peter Gentle tasting his first derby win and taking Hull FC into the top two of the Super League table.
The Black and Whites started the month off with a visit from the Bradford Bulls a club in crisis after the came out saying the needed to raise £500k just to continue through April/May. Tom Briscoe’s try with 10 minutes left proved decisive as Hull found just enough to beat Bradford 24-18. It meant the Black and Whites claimed a fifth successive win, built on a Richard Horne double, Hull were without forward duo Mark O’Meley and Sam Moa, who returned to Australia this week on compassionate grounds, leaving coach Peter Gentle to hand debuts to duo Liam Kent and Chris Green off the bench. Next up was the annual Good Friday derby against their East Hull rivals Hull Kingston Rovers, Hull FC assistant coach Lee Radford came out of retirement and was on the score sheet Despite the one-sided scoreline, Hull as his side ran in six tries during a were made to battle by their neighbours thumping 36-6 derby triumph with coach before eventually romping away to an emphatic success, with further scores from Yeaman, Seymour and a fantastic hat trick from centre Jordan Turner. The bank holiday Monday fixture couldn’t have been harder with the Black and Whites injury count rising a trip to league leaders the Huddersfield Giants wasn’t going to be an easy task. The Giants ran in three tries in the last 20 minutes to secure a 22-4 victory over Hull FC and
open up a two-point lead at the top of Stobart Super League. Hull looked set to extend their six-match
winning run and take over at the top when they led 4-2 after a scrappy first sixty minutes at the Galpharm Stadium. But the Giants, who always looked the livelier side, finally got on top in the final quarter, running in tries through Eorl Crabtree, Luke Robinson and Joe Wardle, with chief architect Danny
Brough kicking five goals. The Black and Whites backed this up with a home game against the Huddersfield Giants in the Challenge Cup with the game unfortunately resulting In a similar outcome. Both head coaches were both in agreement that the Giants superior squad depth proved decisive as Hull let a 14-0 lead slip to crash out of the
Challenge Cup. While Nathan Brown was able to field a virtual full-strength Giants side, Hull boss Peter Gentle was forced to give a debut to 18-year-old centre Ben Crooks in the absence of nine first teamer’s and had two other players on the bench with three senior appearances between them, with the giants running out 42-16 winners. Luck certainly wasn’t on the Black and Whites side with their injury crisis with the visit of the Wigan Warriors to the KC stadium on the back of two tough games against Huddersfield. Without several first team players including the first choice half back pairing of Richard Horne and Brett Seymour this game was always going to be a struggle for the black and whites with the Wigan Warriors inflicting a clinical 56-12 defeat. Wigan winger Pat Richards produced an outstanding performance, scoring a hat-trick and finishing with a 26-point individual haul in a crushing triumph which saw the Warriors outscore their hosts 10 tries to two at the KC Stadium.
By JedRust.
M
jade o
10
THE PREVIEW
KISSER PREVIEWS LOCAL BANDS Little Switzerland get previewed
Since August 2011, Hull band Little Switzerland have dominated the local music scene, playing original music with a range of genres; Indie, Pop, Reggae and Rock. The band debut took place at the prestigious ‘Hull Freedom Festival’. Following the success of their debut gig Little Switzerland have featured on the BBC Introducing Live Sets and supported the likes of; Reverend and The Makers, Mystery Jets, Alt-J, Dog is Dead and The Kabeedies. In December 2011 they won the North Lincolnshire Rock Open BOTB.The band’s first DoubleSingle release was ‘How We Met/ Chit Chat’. Recently followed by
‘Four Years Time’ which has been available for FREE on Strummerville. Coming soon is the new single ‘Gentlemen’s Club’. Little Switzerland have also made a name for themselves out of town playing gigs around Leeds, Huddersfield, Newcastle and North Lincolnshire, with dates in London, Glasgow and Sheffield in the near future. Follow the band Facebook /littleswitzerlandband Twitter /little_switz www.little-switzerland.co.uk
little switzerland
THE PREVIEW
KISSER PREVIEWS LOCAL BANDS Talk of Culture get previewed
Talk Of Culture are a new band from Hull, described as Pyschedelic Dirt Rock, with a bit of Indie Rock thrown in for good measure. The 5 piece are made up of vocalist, Aron Gilbey, guitarists Jack Kwiecien and Floyd Roo, bassist Callum Krebs and drummer Conor Murray who wrap up the band. The bands music is a huge eclectic mix of anything from Oasis to Sonic Youth, with their main influences being Blues, Britpop and Punk. The band have recently played The Lamp and The Adelphi and are back at both venues in the coming months. They are also scheduled to headline Cottingham Springboard festival.
Talk Of Culture are aiming to record and release an E.P this year and firmly establish themselves alongside other great Hull bands and even push the boat out to different cities. Follow the band Facebook /talkofculture soundcloud.com/talk_of_culture
TALK OF CULTURE
GAMES! provided by: THIRTEEN1
M
thirteen 1 - game of the month It may seem like shmups are a thing of the past, stuck in the time of actual arcade machines where you had to drop in real coins, but Sine Mora is not only a bafflingly impressive shooter: it’s also one of the best games in years. It’s a testament to Hungarian developer Digital Reality to create something so unique and so utterly brilliant in a genre that is, for the most part, ignored by the mainstream.There have been intelligent shmups before, such as Ikaruga and Bangai-O, but it’s doubtful that any of them have come close to being as interesting and clever as Sine Mora. For one, the story isn’t your run-ofthe-mill shooter fodder. Instead, we’re presented with an intricate and brilliant sci-fi plot that could easily be made into a novel or a film. An eternal war rages in a diesel punk world inhabited by anthropomorphic animals flying hulking junkers and other classic-style aircraft. The reason the war continues indefinitely is because one side is able to travel back in time in order to avoid
being completely wiped out. It’s such a smart idea that echoes novels like All You Need Is Kill, where the story revolves around time travel during wartime. That in itself is fantastic, but when you add a cast of three-dimensional characters complete with their own flaws and traits, you’re left with not only the best story to come out of a shmup, but one of the best yarns in gaming full stop. The main story revolves around a legless bison, who is out for revenge after his son was killed for disobeying the empire. The parallel stories often crossover, revealing different viewpoints on events that happened with a certain character, which lead to shocking reveals later in the game. Not only is time a main feature in the story, but it forms an important mechanic during gameplay. Instead of having a health meter, there is an ever-present clock ticking down at the top of the screen and when it reaches zero your craft detonates. Every hit you take knocks time off the clock, meaning you have to
- Sine mora be more destructive than defensive. All the usual power-ups of the genre are present, such as shields and weapon upgrades, but each craft is also fitted with its own special weapon, such as a massive 5-second beam or a series of gigantic explosions that ripple the fabric of space-time. But it’s the time manipulation that makes the game even more fun to play, since you can slow down time for a certain period, allowing you to dodge torrents of weapon-fire while raining the hurt on your enemies. Being a bullet-hell shooter where the screen is often covered in projectiles forcing you to weave through the fray, this comes in very handy in those situations where you feel completely overwhelmed. The bosses are huge steel hulks garnished with a multitude of different guns that you’ll be dodging frantically as you fight them through multi-part battles. From a tentacled oneeyed sentinel to a massive death train. There are several modes in Sine Mora: Story, Arcade, Score Attack and Boss
Training. The story, of course, is the meat of the game and is a little more forgiving on novices, while arcade mode throws you head-first into either hard or insane difficulty, shedding the story elements to make way for pure gameplay. You would be insane not to give Sine Mora a spin.
reviews
Fruit hull
SLOW CLUB The UK’s answer to The White Stripes entertain in Hull. Any band that are dubbed as ‘The UK’s answer to The White Stripes’ obviously have a lot to live up to, so we decided to see for ourselves if they’re as good as the titles the media have thrusted upon them. We think it’s safe to say that most media comparisons are those of lazy ones, simply taking the fact that Slow Club are traditionally a male-female two-piece act.
Either they found creating the music they do as a twosome, hard - or they wanted rid of those comparisons, as they’re here tonight as a quartet. The opening of the gig comes in the form of local band ‘Yannick’ - a 5 piece formerly known as White Pilots. They get the night off to an interesting start with a great set, with the venue continuing to fill, it’s plain to see that those
who have not seen or heard Yannick perform before are clearly impressed. A great combination of how a band should sound together, mixed with impressive vocal harmonies and a unique cover version of Labrinth’s - Earthquake. Next on stage was one of the new additional members of Slow Club, performing solo with some mellow acoustic tracks with very interesting lyrics. Next up, Slow
Club hit off their set with a brilliant cover of a band from their native Sheffield; Pulp’s Disco 2000. A quieter, more vocalised and harmonious version of the song, performed without microphones stood
offstage right in front of the crowd. A set followed which shuns 90% of White Stripes comparisons - Slow Club are unique and far more folksy. Imagine a Northern Mumford & Sons with a hint of The White
Stripes. The set gets even more impressive and unpredictable towards the end with a band member appearing upon a worktop to the side of the venue playing the saxophone. A great gig with a great atmosphere.
reviews
Cine hull
ma
THE HUNGER GAMES Kisser looks into the claims of ‘biggest movie since [add movie here]’. When people are promoting a film saying it’s this, it’s that... it’s the best thing since someone filmed someone slicing some bread etc, etc... you obviously stand up and take notice of these things and feel like you want to check them out for yourself, be that good or bad. Even if people have come away saying it was poor, these are the types of film that gain so much
hype, all opinions go out the window and you’re intrigued enough to want to go see for yourself anyway (so basically, if you read on and we happen to say it’s rubbish, you’re still likely to go buy the DVD aren’t you?). The Hunger Games is a film we didn’t really know too much about - we had heard all the hype surrounding the film and had a little bit of background
info about it being set in the future where people live in districts - the further out of the centre you live, the poorer you are. We had also heard it was a movie about 24 12-18 year olds who are made to fight to the death for some reason or other, so as you can imagine, it ticked all the right boxes (especially as we love dystopian films). Without giving anything away, so you can see for yourself,
we’ll say this: The movie delivers in some aspects and seriously fails in others. The storyline is brilliant and gripping from start to finish - it has (had) the potential to be one of the best movies ever made, but has
failed by it being tamed down. A lack of where you’d expect to see gory parts in fear of having cinemas full of Harry Potter fans pooing their pants, massively lets the film down - they could’ve easily filmed extra
scenes and done a 12 version and an 18 version. We expect the books, without parts being cut out, to be much more entertaining, allowing your mind to do the gory bits for you, the film is worth a watch though.
man stuff!
san fran print sweatshirt, River Island - £25.00
3
sin star analog stereo tshirt, USC - £35.00
4 adidas neo label, Deichmann - £29.99
3
hampton washed chino shorts, Matalan - £16.00
4
I accidentally used AOL.com to search for something today. I feel like everyone who works there probably high-fived each other and got really hopeful about the future. Oli - Hull
My sexy neighbour has left her curtains open slightly, so I’m watching her masturbate with my telescope. I can’t see very well, though. If only I had my telescope... Sam - Hull
I stopped at the BP to pump up my tyres and noticed that the price was now 30p!
The wife just said, “Your obsession with cats is totally out of control, so I’ve packed your bags.”
Oh well, that’s inflation for you I suppose.
I think she’s kicking meeeowt.
Pete - Hessle
James - Bridlington
GADGETS
[batman keeps your money together and safe - helps stop people from robin - geddit? we bet you’re thinking - oh what a joker!]
£34.99 WWW.FIREBOX.COM
music!
KISSER’S MONTHLY TUNES Professor Green ft. Ruth Anne - Remedy [ http://youtu.be/o38QCTzWxe4 ] Flux Pavilion ft. Example - Daydreamer [ http://youtu.be/ZAvd_6sI1-I ] Calvin Harris ft. Ne-Yo - Let’s Go [ http://youtu.be/kdih7kjmQJw ] Major Lazer ft. Amber - Get Free [ http://youtu.be/OI3shBXlqsw ] Broken Youth - Dreamer [ http://youtu.be/nxRSmsWz5Wg ]
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WHAT S ON COMING TO OUR AREA! AMERICAN PIE:REUNION CINEMAS 2/5/12
THE DICTATOR CINEMAS 18/5/12
Need we say more? Well, if you don’t know, it’s not another cheapo add-on, all the original cast return for a new movie!
Sacha Baron Cohen is back after success with Ali G, Borat and Bruno, he’s back in America trying his luck as The Dictator.
THE VACCINES BRIDLINGTON SPA 3/5/12 The indie rockers visit the East Yorkshire seaside to perform hits such as Wetsuit, If You Wanna & Wreckin Bar (ra ra ra).
GHOSTPOET FRUIT 7/5/12
The Mercury Music Prize nominee visits Hull to perform his witty, poetic chilled out tunes from his album Peanut Butter Blues & Melancholy Jam.
WILLY MASON FRUIT 13/5/12 A modern great as far as singer-songwriters go. If you like Johnny Cash, you’ll love Willy Mason - expect a great gig.
RICH HALL HULL TRUCK THEATRE 20/5/12 The American comedian brings his ‘grouchy deadpan’ comedy to Hull.
SALLY MORGAN HULL NEW THEATRE 22/5/12 Something a bit different, give it a try - we’ve witnessed it for ourselves and it’ll freak you out.
MIB3 [MEN IN BLACK III] CINEMAS 25/5/12 Will Smith & Tommy Lee Jones return for a third MIB movie. This sees Will Smith travelling back to 1969 to stop the history of the planet from changing.
LOCAL NEWS
ST.STEPHENS ADDS MORE TO IT’S OFFERING
We’ve heard of exciting new developments happening at St.Stephen’s in the upcoming months. One major change is to that of Reel Cinema. Reel is set to undergo a big refurbishment to modernise the interior, with a big part of the plans that will see an extension to the cinema, with it taking over the space that was previously occupied by soft indoor play area company; Monkey Bizness. As many will know by now (as revealed in Kisser months ago), American doughnut giant Krispy Kreme are set to open in the former Heart Coffee unit at the front of the centre. Bagel company, Bagel Nash are also set to open in the former milkshake counter, which will see a seating area appear next to the counter. We can also reveal that the former Pumpkin Patch unit could also soon be filled, with St.Stephen’s in talks
with a major shoe retailer about taking the unit - hopefully it won’t be a relocation by one of the main shoe outlets on Whitefriargate and instead be a new retailer to the city. It has also been announced that throughout July and August, Sunday trading times will be relaxed via a government scheme to help the high street during the olympics, allowing for trading hours to be extended on Sunday’s, which perhaps may see more of the independent retailers in the city open up, on a day they tend to stay closed. In an era when people’s lives are getting busier and busier by the day, we’re surprised that Saturday and Sunday trading times aren’t reflected better already, considering Sunday is one of the few days in the week when people actually have some spare time to go out and do some shopping.
Croydon
22 STOREY TOWER PLANNED FOR SITE BESIDE THE RIVER HULL
Local lad done good, Tim Fulstow of Fulstow Holdings has put together an interesting proposal to build a 22 storey tower which would house a hotel, with talks at an advanced stage with hotel operator Raddison Blu. The building would also contain a public art gallery in a large glass-top area at the top of the tower, offering views of not only art, but those out and across the whole city itself. Apparently this section of the building would then glow alternative shades of colour throughout the night time. The project would also contain a 1000 person conference centre, which would allow for the likes of Siemens and other major companies in the area, to host events there. It is expected it would be of great use to those involved in helping to promote Hull as the centre of green energy in the UK. We seriously hope that this
projects potential can be realised, as we feel it could tower over the city, acting as a ‘beacon of hope’ as people will see it and see that exciting job prospects and prosperity can be found in the area and that we are moving in a new exciting direction and era for the city. In other building projects news, The Spencer Group have applied to build an area of housing beside the Humber, next to their headquarters at 1 Humber Quays, which is an interesting proposal, as it mainly seems to be townhouses, which would be great for bringing family friendly living back to the city centre. Space for parking cars below the property is also a key feature, as we depend on our cars a lot more in the UK than our European cousins do. In other news, it looks like Manor Property will actually have to do some work, as the Hilton hotel has been granted planning permission. Let work begin!
THANK YOU! KISSER would like to say a massive Thank You, in no particular order to:
MODEL: Jade O PHOTOGRAPHY: Joey Aitchison [model shots], Tom Arran [Slow Club gig shots] WRITERS/CONTRIBUTORS: Jedrust, His Bobness and Dan at Thirteen1 INTERVIEWEE’S: Stan McEwan WEB: Impression11 OTHER: Howard AKA Mr.H
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