Latest 7 Issue 315: 3-p April 2007 by Latest Homes

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www.latest7.co.uk

latest

Cars The weekly listings and TV guide 3–9 April 2007 FREE

on the radio! latest soup 97.2FM

£7,990

mon-fri 4-6pm

£3,990 from tempest4cars see page 4

latest

flights of fancy jobs good food has landed at the eagle

local colour explore our vibrant pub culture

radio heads a new station takes to the airwaves

highly paid professional positions framer/sales person kings framers, lewes see page 53

feeling groovy exciting festival announcement

part-time administrator carrington estates see page 52

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latest 7 5 Cars

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contents 25 Cover feature

Kia plant a new cee’d in the car market

Generous servings at The Eagle and a look at the best pub lunches around

6 Social diary A charity fashion fundraiser, the launch of Grace of Brighton and Maddie Live

7 What Katie says

29 Health The right approach to losing weight

30 Cinema

Tackling issues of domestic violence

8 Eminemmylou

Local screenings reviewed and rated

32 Music

Elizabeth Penner’s 12 steps of intimacy

McFly, Midlake and Hayseed Dixie, plus local music scene news

8 Dani’s diary A panic attack affects her loved ones

35 Nightlife

Now you can hear your favourite magazine on the radio at 97.2 FM

Upcoming club nights and late bars plus a visit to the Railway Hotel

8 Backlash

At last, a daily radio show unique to Brighton. Hosted by our very own Jeff Hemmings, the Jeremy Vine and John Peel of Brighton rolled into one very switched-on man, the Latest show starts this week on Radio Reverb.

Stop whingeing about British weather

36 Gay 10 Celebcity

sponsored by

Celebcity with Jo Brooks

That festival feeling Sussex band The Feeling to play at new local festival Haywards Heath isn’t traditionally renowned for being the most rock and roll of places, but all that could be about to change as Brit Award nominees The Feeling have recently signed to perform at a new Sussex festival. The group, most of whom are originally from nearby Horsham, will be appearing as part of the Big Culture Show in Haywards Heath alongside a range of acts including – my personal favourite – Chas and Dave. The band will be headlining a show at Victoria Park, Haywards Heath, on Saturday 2 June, as part of the Big Culture Season for Mid Sussex Council. I suggest we all get ourselves down there and let them fill our little world right up.

Eubank’s latest japes and capers I haven’t seen Brighton resident Chris Eubank out and about for a while, so I was pleased to spot him the other day haring along the seafront in his trademark enormous truck. The former heavyweight champion was drawing quite a lot of attention from passers-by who were strolling along, enjoying the unseasonable weather including a full film crew, who seemed particularly amused at Mr Eubank’s eccentric choice of transport.

Wee man makes big money I hear that diminutive comedian Ronnie Corbett has helped raise £10,000 towards a new art gallery through a school concert in Eastbourne. More than 500 students from St Bede’s School, Eastbourne attended an event at the Congress Theatre for which proceeds will go towards the New Towner Trust.

Spotted In trendy city nightspot Sky Bar, none other than premiership football star Freddie Ljungberg enjoying a few drinks with a group of friends. The Arsenal player and sometime Calvin Klein underwear model has apparently been linked with a young lady who lives here in Brighton so expect to see a lot more of him in future (although it’s fair to say those CK ads left very little to the imagination).

Jordan’s family run for charity Katie Price has always been well known for her work for charitable causes but now it looks like the whole family is getting in on the act. I received an email last week from Katie’s brother Danny, who is training to run in this year’s London Marathon along with the former glamour model’s mum Amy. The pair will be competing to raise money for The Vision Charity, of which – guess what? – Katie is one of the patrons. To support the celeb family, you can visit their websites at www.justgiving.com/dannyprice, and www.justgiving.com/amyprice.

Comedy celebrity anagram of the week: Ronnie Corbett = “Rob bent? Erotic!”

Jo Brooks is director of Brighton-based PR company JBPR Ltd, 01273 622555 www.jb-pr.com

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To comment on any of these stories or send in any news stories email editorial@thelatest.co.uk

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COMPETITIONSXWORD

In it to win it

latestcrossword

solutions on page 39

Get your hands on these great giveaways! London Golf Show 2007 – Tickets

The London Golf Show returns to ExCeL for its third outing on 26-29 April, brought to us by American Golf, and providing Europe’s largest golf retail area. The iconic floating green has been revamped to provide an even more exciting and unique experience than ever before. There will be a 30-bay driving range where you can try the latest equipment before having it custom-fitted at the American Golf store, plus a popular fashion show, highlighting the latest in on-course design. Test your golfing skills head-to-head with celebrities on the chipping green and there’s a stunning prize available for sinking a 100 foot putt. With an expanded junior section, with free coaching, fun and games and more prizes to be won, the London Golf Show makes the ultimate day out for all the (golfing) family. We have 10 pairs of tickets to give away. To be in with a chance of winning, email competitions@thelatest.co.uk with ‘golf’ in the subject box, or write to us at the address at the front of the magazine. Don’t forget to leave your name, contact address and number.

The Goodies – Show tickets The Goodies Still Rule OK! is a fantastic comeback show celebrating the legends of comedy talent who emerged in the 1970s. Coming to Eastbourne Congress Theatre on 15 April, we have four pairs of top-priced tickets to give away. Tim Brooke-Taylor and Graeme Garden will be live on stage for reminiscences, ridiculousness, clips and Goodies filthy bits banned by Australian television! This one-off show in Eastbourne also includes a new sketch featuring Bill Oddie.

To be in with a chance of winning a pair of tickets for the show on Sunday 15 April (show time 7.30pm) email competitions@thelatest.co.uk with ‘Goodies’ in the subject box or write to us at the address at the front of the magazine. Don’t forget to leave your name, contact address and number.

Mark Of Cain DVD Inspired by true events of the War in Iraq, Mark Of Cain follows two 18-year-olds, Shane Gulliver and Mark ‘Treacle’ Tate, serving in the British Army. Events spiral out of control when Iraqi detainees are mistreated at the hands of British soldiers. Shane and Treacle not only participate, but take images of the mistreatment as souvenirs. Returning to England, the photos find themselves in the hands of the police and the guilt and pressure is too much for Treacle, but Shane plans to stay true to his army. The DVD includes a documentary on the controversy surrounding the British Army and the abuse of Iraqi soldiers in the war.

To be in with a chance of winning one of three copies on DVD email competitions@thelatest.co.uk with ‘Mark Of Cain’ in the subject box .Don’t forget to leave your name, contact address and number.

The Belgariad – Castle Of Wizardry Book If you can’t wait until July for your Harry Potter fix or you’ve read Lord Of The Rings to death, check out The Belgariad series with the newly released Castle of Wizardy. In a fantasy world, Garion and his companions have the Orb of Aldur and must return it to the pommel of the sword in the Great Hall on the island of Riva. Of course, it’s never simple, as on their journey Murgo soldiers and Grolim sorcerers try to stop them. To be in with a chance of winning one of two copies, email competitions@thelatest.co.uk with ‘Belgariad’ in the subject box. Don’t forget to include your name, contact address and number.

Cryptic 86

Quick 86

ACROSS

DOWN

ACROSS

1 Novice comes from French town shaped like a screw thread (6) 4 Get in the way of making up the basket (6) 9 Executive incompetence through having spinster in charge? (13) 10 It’s correct, conservatively speaking (5) 11 Withdraw the leaflet behind the Queen's back (7) 12 Reach town via the main road and a short minor one (5) 13 Empty? First there's nothing like an egg (5) 18 In France, the one certain relaxation (7) 20 Find the seed compartment in Madame Bovary's kitchen (5) 21 Ocean man wrestles with Cupid alone (13) 22 At the end of it, one’s composure is lost (6) 23 Where love always comes to nothing (6)

1 Dark sir is hombre without national status (6) 2 It's of no consequence if I can’t sing in a different way (13) 3 Can a hat be made of thorn? (7) 5 Set up a division for the proficient (5) 6 In evading the truth there’s an inclination to arrive with panic (13) 7 Turn around or go back to the gallery (6) 8 Rewrite book so farmers can follow it (5) 14 Ravish a girl who's upset (7) 15 Move ostentatiously as a loud untrained woman (6) 16 Disreputable girl comes from the south east (5) 17 The year begins in hell according to the stars (6) 19 He needs you and I to form a nucleus (5)

1 Country (6) 4 Hot-head (6) 9 Removal from sight (13) 10 Cowboy rope (5) 11 Unruly (7) 12 Foremost (5) 13 Political group (5) 18 Think (7) 20 Musical instrument (5) 21 Innocence (13) 22 Guard (6) 23 Supplication (6).

DOWN 1 Violin (6) 2 Killing (13) 3 Plentiful (7) 5 Pointed missile (5) 6 Sweetmeats (13) 7 Delight (6) 8 Stomach region (5) 14 Counsellor (7) 15 Funeral songs (6) 16 Measurer (5) 17 Rope (6) 19 Bury (5).

To advertise call Kate on 01273 818150

Collection/delivery ordering service for

IKEA goods Tell us what you want, and we’ll deliver it. Simple as that. No traffic. No queues. No rows. No hassle.

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For coverage in this magazine email editorial@thelatest.co.uk

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ONLY JOKING!

Bare cheek

Spotted

Brian Mitchell and Joseph Nixon’s thoroughly scurrilous Brighton column

with A.E. Housman Oh who’s the lad with hair of gold, Who wanders West Street in the cold, And squints up at the winter sun, And weeps for all the time that’s done, And curses, with each breath he’s got, The God that made him and his lot, That brute who murders words and blooms? ‘Tis Andy Kane from Changing Rooms.

What’s not on Supposedly Themed Stand Up Show In Which The Nebulous, Wafer-Thin ‘Concept’ Vanishes About 15 Minutes In To Be Replaced With The Usual Round Of Knob Jokes, Gags About Childrens' TV And Observations About What It's Like Moving In With Your Girlfriend In 2005, Perrier Award nominee Mark Adamson's wife left him, he moved to Cumbria, and he was diagnosed as suffering from glaucoma. “Hooray!”, he thought, “I can do a show about this.” Then he realised he would be unable to include a large portion of the 35-minute set he had been painstakingly building up since 1999, and his blood ran cold. Dell'arte Theatre, 9 April, 9.30pm, £8/£6 Monkey Butler Present…Blomp! Wearisome physical comedy from people who wouldn't know a joke if it came in their hair. Dave Australian, Dell’arte Theatre

Gary Terrigan, Dome

Gardner Arts Centre, 12 April, 8pm, £6/£5 Dave Australian: Suck My Bum! Raucous, outrageous material from the man the press is beginning to call ‘another bloody Australian comedian’. Dell'arte Theatre, 15 April, 8pm, £8/£7 The Bogstandard Comedy Club Sponsored by Bogstandard lager. Featuring Dan Knobjokes, Steve Whimsical, Alan Camp, Rob Political and Janet Tokenwoman. MC Tom Nondescript. Sussex Arts Club, 20 April, 9pm, £6/£5

Kronos Quartet. Old Market Arts Centre, 10 April, 7.30pm, £25/£20 Esprit de Cor! Top totty who can't sing very well but look good in little black dresses, performing your favourite classical pieces from the adverts, including British Airways, Old Spice and Stella Artois. Brighton Conference Centre, 12 April, 8pm £15/£12

Film

Jack Midday The Brighton-based, Macclesfield-born cyberbore reads extracts from his new novel, Random Access Mammary. Borders, 11 April, 7.30pm, £10/£7

Shite Film Night Something inoffensive and harmless like Big Trouble In Little China sneered at from a great height by the sort of prick who couldn't make a film if you put a gun to his head. Duke Of York's, 21 April, 10pm, £6/£5

Literature

Music

Comedy

1977 Starsky And Hutch Annual Free Butt, 5 April, 9pm, £4/£3 1978 Colditz Board Game Pressure Point, 6 April, 8.30pm, £5/£4 1979 Water Margin Jigsaw Concorde II, 7 April, 8pm, £6/£5 Spreading All The Light The songs of Rolf Harris, as performed by the

Hove: The Musical Gary Terrigan's perennial hit spoof musical returns for a record-breaking 628th year. Includes such hilarious numbers as ‘Give My Regards To George Street’, ‘Living Next Door To Alice Close’, and, er…‘Eaton Villas Rifles’. Dome, 7 April, 8.30pm, £12/£10

Jack Midday, Borders

STARS

Astral Angi ★ Your week ahead ★

Buy the CD Bardsley’s, country music with c-hip s-hop beats at Bardsley’s and Borders NOW!

BARDSLEY’S O R AC L E F I S H N C H I P S

22/23/23A BAKER ST, BRIGHTON BN1 4JN

01273 681256

ARIES (MAR 21–APR 20)

CANCER (JUNE 22–JULY 22)

LIBRA (SEP 23–OCT 22)

CAPRICORN (DEC 21–JAN 19)

To dream of the ace of diamonds mean quarrels; hearts mean news; spades spell bad luck and clubs mean money. To dream of chips means a visit to Bardsley’s is imminent.

To dream of frozen foods predicts travel to warmer countries. To dream of frozen peas indicates travel to somewhere green. To dream of mushy peas means…(starts with B)

To dream of any number above one and below 78 means good fortune except 49 which is not so lucky. All numbers above 78 are uncertain except lucky 343.

For a young Capricorn lady to dream that she is at work in a pantry means that you will meet an untidy, lazy man who will take you out. Avert your gaze and avoid said man.

TAURUS (APR 21–MAY 21)

LEO (JULY 23–AUG 22)

SCORPIO (OCT 23–NOV 21)

AQUARIUS (JAN 20–FEB 19)

To dream of furniture spells happiness. The person in love will soon marry and the person in business will do well. A round table and chairs is a good omen all round.

To dream of ‘filberts’ forebodes much trouble and anger from friends. If you know what a ‘filbert’ is, write in and let me know. First one to write in gets a filbert, whatever it is.

For a young Scorpio lady to dream of geraniums signifies that you will become more beautiful and your perplexity will be increased by the host of admirers vowing love.

To dream of being in a turnip field denotes the acquisition of money, and if you marry you will be happy and thrive in the world.

GEMINI (MAY 22–JUNE 21)

VIRGO (AUG 23–SEP 22)

SAGITTARIUS (NOV 22–DEC 20)

PISCES (FEB 20–MAR 20)

To dream of a squirrel shows that foes are trying to scupper your reputation and plans. If in business, you will quarrel with your main creditor. If in love, your lover is moody.

To dream of seeing a pigeon is a good sign that you will have delight and content at home, and success in affairs abroad. So think ‘pigeon’ when you go to sleep at night.

To dream of sitting in the library means that you have abilities which, rightly cultivated, would enable you to attain literary distinction. Go to Bardsley’s for more interpretations.

To dream of lard foretells that you will triumph over your enemies. Go to Bardsley’s and look at their larder of lard before nodding off.

12 latest 7

To talk to Astral Angi please email angi@thelatest.co.uk

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STAND-UP COMEDY

A laughing matter Victoria Nangle travels to the bright lights and the big city to check out the competition I know I said I didn’t want to go to London to play gigs, and I still resent the fact that this seems to be a right of passage in the growing up of any comic in order to become a fully-fledged comedian, but I have buckled and got myself booked to appear in my first ever London gig. Appropriately enough it’s on April Fool’s Day. And my name is spelt wrong in the listings. I can feel my name in lights just around the corner now. Ish. Actually, it’s quite a lucky shot, as there’s a group that has a number of comedy venues in pubs around London and on its outskirts and I emailed them, after which they assigned me a gig in Camden, my old stamping ground and familial actual growing-up area. Nice. Meaning that mates I haven’t seen for ages are flocking to witness me remember my set (this is something I must emphasise to myself as my last two gigs stood out to me primarily because all of my set was there just not necessarily in the right order. Although I have been assured no one noticed. In a good way.)

“If you’re out busking in a crap way you’ll be getting nowhere pie for dinner – fast” And what prompted me to apply to play in the big smoggy capital I am loath to revisit? I’ll tell you. In Brighton, as you walk down every other street, and even more in the summer, you’ll find a plethora of buskers playing and singing their hearts out. And the thing I’ve noticed about these buskers, having moved down from the big smog and seen a fair few before leaving the capital, is that without exception the quality is remarkably high. My theory is that it’s because we pretty much live in a Mecca for creatives. We’ve got loads of musicians and bands here and if you want more than one gig at any venue you’d better be darn good or keep on trying until you are. The talent level is so high on the music scene, and there are so many people connected with music walking around us, if you’re out busking in a crap way you’ll be getting nowhere pie for dinner – fast. I am curious as to whether this is the case with new act stand-up comedy in this fair city of ours too. We have a limited number – although growing – of comedy clubs and only a fixed number of new act slots at these each month. If you want a repeat booking and your future slot not to go to someone else you’ve got to provide a comedy blessing that does the impressing. The standards in new act stand-up are high down here on the south coast, but how do they measure next to new acts who learnt their craft from courses and experience in the capital? I’m hoping it’s not just the musical buskers from down south that lead the way, but there’s only one way to find out. Smog city, here I come.

☺

Stand-up wisdom 35: “I’m learning to cook. A cookbook said to grill mackerel. But they know nothing.” Jim Holland

12,000 students attend the University of Sussex. The only way to reach these potential clients is through the University of Sussex Students’ Union. The badger is the Students’ Union’s tabloid newspaper, published every Thursday and read by 84% of students*. The pulse, our termly magazine, has been awarded the best UK Student Magazine twice by The Guardian and Independent newspapers. To advertise in either publication, phone the USSU marketing team on 01273 678151 or email ussu-marketing@sussex.ac.uk

PETS

Marc the vet Paul O’Grady Show’s Marc Abraham says a rabbit is for life, not just for Easter

Ever wondered why Easter is associated with bunnies? It’s thought that the hunt for eggs came first, with no association to the rabbit at all! As excited children eagerly searched for the eggs, they flushed out rabbits, and thus began the stories of the rabbits leaving the eggs behind. Historically, rabbits, hares and eggs in folklore have their basis as pagan fertility symbols, signifying spring and new life, and the worship of the goddess Eostre or Eastre (usually shown with the rabbit as her symbolic animal). To entertain a child, the goddess turned her favourite bird into a hare, which immediately laid colourful eggs. When the Christians moved into pagan territories, they decided that the custom of colouring eggs was not harmful and adapted it to their own festivities. Easter is celebrated on the first Sunday following a full moon, so the moon was used to work out the date of Easter every year, and the hare (not the rabbit) was the symbol of the Egyptian moon. The hare was always been portrayed with its eyes open, watching the moon. In fact, the Egyptian word for hare is ‘un’ which means ‘open’. Hares are born with their eyes open; rabbits are born with them closed. When German settlers arrived in America, they brought with them the legend of Oschter Haws, the white Easter hare. Children behaved themselves, believing that, if they were good, Oschter Haws would lay colourful eggs (symbols of rebirth) for them in a nest the children had provided (usually their hat or bonnet, placed in the barn). By the 19th century, the Easter hare became the Easter rabbit. American families would later adopt the nest tradition, using baskets, chocolate and money. And like many traditions stateside, they made their way across ‘the pond’ to us!

“If you’re thinking about buying a real life Easter bunny, be prepared to look after it for years” The number of pet rabbits in the UK is on the up, especially fully littertrained house rabbits. If you are thinking of buying a real life Easter bunny, be prepared to look after it for years. They really do make excellent pets, but should never be obtained as the classic ‘child’s pet’ – rabbits are very delicate creatures and therefore require lots of care, as well as regular boosters against common viral diseases, such as myxomatosis. The months following Easter are sadly filled with neglected rabbits, rabbits returned to pet shops, or even sent to rescue centres with little hope of adoption. So if you’re thinking about getting a rabbit, please think carefully, and seek out a rescued one first. Happy Easter! For more information about pet rabbits, visit www.houserabbit.co.uk

Any comments for Marc email editorial@thelatest.co.uk

image

Individual Images for Individual People

catcher T i m R i c h a r d s o n Freelance Photographer 01273 881832 07977 140002 www.image-catcher.co.uk tim.richardson@image-catcher.co.uk 32a Carlisle Road, Hove, East Sussex BN3 4FS

* Student Lifestyle Questionnaire 2002

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The Charleston Festival has come of age! Now in its 18th year the Charleston Festival has grown into a major literary event on the cultural calendar.Taking the Brighton Festival out of the city into the lush Sussex countryside, it attracts international authors and personalities to the historic rural retreat of the Bloomsbury group. This stella line-up appears in a traditional marquee in the tranquil grounds of Charleston Farmhouse, the one time home of the artists Vanessa Bell (sister of Virginia Woolf) and Duncan Grant.

Friday 18 May Blood Lines

6pm £9

John Lanchester and Andrew Motion Poet Laureate Andrew Motion and Novelist John Lanchester discuss family histories, secrets and tragedies and the way they shape a person’s journey through life. John Lanchester’s Family Romance describes the effect of discovering that his mother had adopted a new identity and covered up her past while Andrew Motion’s In the Blood is an acknowledgement of time being frozen, during his adolescence, as a result of his mother’s catastrophic accident.

The Last King of Scotland

8pm £9

Giles Foden and Kevin MacDonald with William Nicholson How do you take a Whitbread prize-winning book about a murderous 20th century dictator and turn it into a must-see film? Author Giles Foden and film-maker Kevin MacDonald explore the triumphs and pitfalls of the creative process when mixing fact with fiction. Includes the premiere of Capturing Idi Amin, the making of The Last King of Scotland. Sponsored by Rees Elliott

Saturday 19 May Making Trouble

12pm £9

Michéle Roberts and Lynne Segal Sexual politics, experiments in living, feminist communes and free love: Michéle Roberts and Lynne Segal reminisce about, and reassess, their lives in the turbulent decade of the 1970s. Do they have any regrets? Why did they both become academics? Michéle Roberts is a novelist and Professor of Creative Writing at the University of East Anglia. Lynne Segal, who writes across the spectrum of sexual politics, is Professor of Psychology and Gender Studies at Birkbeck College.Their new memoirs are Paper Houses (Michéle Roberts) and Making Trouble (Lynne Segal).

Across the Divide

2.30pm £9

William Dalrymple and Colin Thubron Two of our most gifted storytellers evoke the Raj, the Indian Mutiny and the fall of an illustrious Mughal dynasty; and an ambitious 7000 miles, eight-month journey along the Silk Road. In discussion with Julian Bell. Sponsored by Kirker Holidays

Tomorrow

5pm £9

Graham Swift A new novel by Booker Prize winner Graham Swift is always a special literary event. Brilliantly distilling half a century into one suspenseful night, Tomorrow is an exploration of the power of secrets and a meditation on happiness and the fear of loss. His reading and response to questions will be a masterclass in fine writing. Graham Swift is the author of eight highly acclaimed novels and a collection of short stories. His award-winning books, Waterland and Last Orders, were both made into films.

Cultural Cafe

8pm £9

Clive James Clive James sketches the 20th century from Sartre to Beatrix Potter via Viennese café society, evaluating the writer’s role as unacknowledged legislator – with plenty of autobiography thrown in. Sponsored by Knill James

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Sunday 20 May Mother’s Milk

2.30pm £9

Edward St Aubyn talking to Francine Stock A rare public appearance from celebrated author Edward St Aubyn. Bitingly satirical, unfailingly entertaining and wise, the Booker Shortlisted Mother’s Milk is a compulsively readable examination of the way dysfunction ricochets through generations of the same family. Edward St Aubyn is widely considered to be ‘the purest living prose stylist’ and ‘among the cream of British novelists’. Is his funny and humane quartet of novels about the Melrose family a vehicle for troubling autobiographical material? An opportunity to hear the author read from and talk about his work. Francine Stock is a broadcaster and novelist.

Keynes is Dead:The Arts Need to Find a Different Funding Formula

5pm £9

Sir Christopher Frayling and Polly Toynbee V Norman Lebrect and Wasfi Kani A welcome return to Charleston of the Intelligence Squared debate. This year’s contentious subject: should the arts be state subsidised, or should artists throw off the shackles of the public purse?

Against the motion: Sir Christopher Frayling – Rector of the Royal College of Art; Chairman of the Arts Council of England;Trustee of the V&A; Professor of Cultural History, broadcaster and author.

For the motion: Norman Lebrecht – Assistant Editor of the Evening Standard; presenter of Lebrecht Live on the BBC; novelist and author of books about music.

Polly Toynbee – Guardian columnist, broadcaster and writer, Chair of the Brighton Festival.

Wasfi Kani – Former Executive Director of Garsington Opera, started a country house music festival. She funded from private patrons a theatre there which won three architectural awards.

Your vote decides the outcome In association with Intelligence Squared. Supported by The Open University

Acts of Remembrance

7.30pm £9

Carmen Callil and Juliet Stevenson Juliet Stevenson will give a dramatised reading from Suite Française, Irène Némirovsky’s posthumous masterpiece and Carmen Callil will discuss Bad Faith, the story of a collaborator in Vichy France.

Wednesday 23 May Public Passions: Clouds and Gardens

6pm £9

Gavin Pretor-Pinney and Sarah Raven Cult bestseller The Cloud Spotter’s Guide, and the Garden Cookbook, inspire readers to be passionate about nature’s poetry. Whilst Pretor-Pinney conducts a tour of the skies, Sarah Raven comes down to earth with her devotion to fresh produce. Supported by Hugh and Catherine Stevenson

Public Passions: Our Farm

8pm £9

Rosie Boycott interviewed by Michele Hanson Why is a city girl, 60s radical feminist (co-founder of Spare Rib), cultural commentator and member of the media elite running a small-holding in the country in the age of food globalisation? In a moving and hilarious account, Rosie Boycott describes how, after a serious accident, she became a country small-holder and how life closer to the natural world helped her recovery.

Thursday 24 May A Centenary Celebration: Auden and MacNeice

6pm £9

John Fuller and Tom Paulin Two of today’s top poets, John Fuller and Tom Paulin, will discuss the groundbreaking artistic influence of Auden and MacNeice on their work and on 20th century poetry. Sponsored by The Folio Society

A Centenary Celebration: Lee Miller

8pm £9

Mark Haworth-Booth and Anthony Penrose Lee Miller; photographer, surrealist muse and legendary beauty. Coinciding with a major V&A retrospective, curator Mark Hawarth-Booth and Miller’s son Anthony Penrose, will explore and discuss her extraordinarily creative and influential life.

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Friday 25 May The Time-Torn Man:Thomas Hardy

6pm £9

Claire Tomalin Claire Tomalin discusses one of the country’s greatest novelists and poets, exploring the contradictions and paradoxes inherent in Hardy’s life and work.

The Human Touch

8pm £9

Michael Frayn interviewed by Lucy Eyre Michael Frayn will provide answers to the big questions of life in a witty and light-hearted discussion of his new book The Human Touch.

Saturday 26 May How Architecture Can Change Your Life

2.30pm £9

Alain de Botton Where better than Charleston to consider whether beautiful surroundings can make us good? Alain de Botton will discuss the way we relate to the buildings we inhabit. Sponsored by John Packer Associates

Centenary Celebration – Daphne du Maurier: After Rebecca Justine Picardie, Nicholas Roeg and Nell Leyshon 5pm £9 Is there a woman who does not wish to be Rebecca rather than the virtuous second Mrs de Winter? What is the timeless appeal of du Maurier’s most famous novel? A discussion with Justine Picardie, author of Daphne, a new novel based on du Maurier’s life; Nicholas Roeg, the iconic director of the film version of Don’t Look Now; and Nell Leyshon, whose play, based on the same short story, premieres this year. In association with Brighton City Reads.

The Unexplored Triangle: Leonard,Vanessa and Virginia Victoria Glendinning and Angelica Garnett 7.30pm £9 Victoria Glendinning, biographer of Leonard Woolf, will compare notes with Angelica Garnett,Vanessa Bell’s daughter and Virginia Woolf’s niece, on the eternally shifting dynamics between these three key members of the Bloomsbury group. Supported by Paul Evans Rare Books

Sunday 27 May Edith Wharton: Innocence and Experience

2.30pm £9

Hermione Lee Hermione Lee, the biographer of Virginia Woolf, has turned her attention to Edith Wharton, challenging stereotypes and portraying her as a fiercely modern woman, politically engaged, writing on sex, incest, love and war. Supported by The Open University

From Page to Screen

5pm £9

Patrick Marber and Ronald Harwood with William Nicholson Fiction is a rich source for film. How important is it to be true to the original, or does the art lie in making something new? Patrick Marber is a playwright and screenwriter. His adaptation of Zoë Heller’s Notes on a Scandal (‘provides a screenwriting masterclass’ The Guardian) received numerous awards. He is currently adapting Ian McEwan’s Saturday. Ronald Harwood’s screenplays include Polanski’s Oliver Twist, and he was awarded an Oscar for the script of The Pianist.

A Certain Age

7.30pm £9

Lynne Truss and Douglas Hodge A live performance of two of Lynne Truss’s insightful and bittersweet radio monologues, The Father and The Wife. Lynne Truss is the bestselling author of Eats, Shoots & Leaves. Douglas Hodge is a familiar face from stage and TV, most recently appearing with Billie Piper in Mansfield Park.

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Monday 28 May Charleston is the perfect place to spend the Spring Bank Holiday Monday. Get some fresh air, feast your eyes on the unique interiors of Charleston Farmhouse, relax in the garden with a luscious cream tea (or something stronger) and then listen to international authors Kiran Desai, Barbara Gowdy and James Hamilton-Paterson.

International Fiction

2.30pm £9

Kiran Desai and Barbara Gowdy Two stars of international fiction: Kiran Desai, born in India, now living in the USA, won last year’s Man Booker Prize for The Inheritance of Loss, an ambitious book charting the fortunes of an Indian family in the Himalayas. Barbara Gowdy is an award winning Canadian author. Her new book, Helpless, is a suspenseful and haunting novel of abduction and obsessive love, tapping into the fears that lie just beneath the surface of modern life.They each read from and talk about their work.

Amazing Disgrace

5pm £9

James Hamilton-Paterson ‘I’m bowled over by the sheer imaginative brilliance of the man’ (Barry Humphries). The reclusive author of Cooking with Fernet Branca – a work of comic genius – is lured from his Tuscan mountain and Austrian hide-outs to talk about its sequel, Amazing Disgrace. Both books feature Gerald Samper, ghost writer to B-list stars and chef manqué, who concocts recipes that make Heston Blumenthal look like Fanny Craddock.

Festival Workshops Each year Charleston hosts a range of events and workshops. See our website, www.charleston.org.uk, or call 01323 811626 for more details and to book a place. Wednesday 24 May Charleston Reads: Rebecca Workshop A one-day workshop to explore, discuss and debate the enduring appeal of Rebecca, Daphne du Maurier’s most celebrated novel – a haunting mixture of gothic romance, psychological realism and sexual tension. Led by Dr. Sue Roe, Lecturer in Creative Writing at Sussex University CCE, author of The Private Lives of the Impressionists and a biography of Gwen John. The workshop is in conjunction with City Reads. Tickets £50 include tea & coffee.

Thursday 24 May and Friday 25 May ‘How You Feel is Your Fight’: Women Writers and the Second World War The Second World War encouraged women of all backgrounds to record their experiences in writing. In diaries, fiction and articles, well-known and first-time writers made vivid their responses to war work, rationing and the Blitz, often conveying how the unimaginable became commonplace. This two-day workshop will examine, amongst others, the work of Virginia Woolf, Rose Macaulay, Elizabeth Bowen, and Irène Némirovsky (author of Suite Française).Tutor Lynn Knight, writer, editor and lecturer, teaches fiction at the Women’s Library and the City Lit in London. Tickets cost £185 to include both days, a tour of Charleston, lunches and refreshments.

Where do I get tickets?

How do I get to Charleston?

Event tickets available only from the Dome

Charleston is 6 miles east of Lewes,

Box Office, 29 New Road, Brighton, BN1 1UG,

signposted directly off the A27.

Telephone 01273 709709, www.brightonfestival.org.uk

There is special Festival shuttle bus service from

Workshop tickets are only available from Charleston,

Lewes Station.The timetable is on the Charleston

telephone 01273 811626

website at www.charleston.org.uk

The Charleston Trust is grateful to the following for their generous support:

The Folio Society

HOVE

The Ondaatje Foundation The John S. Cohen Foundation Hugh and Catherine Stevenson Paul Evans Rare Books And those supporters who have chosen to remain anonymous.

The Charleston Festival is a fundraising event in aid of the Charleston Trust, Registered Charity No. 1107313. A non-profit making company limited by guarantee. Registered in England No. 5212725.

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RADIOREVERB

Radio gaga Go mad for radio once again as community station RadioReverb hits Brighton’s airwaves

The good people of Brighton and Hove have a new voice on the airwaves – RadioReverb. The city’s only public access radio station has been broadcasting all day every day on 97.2 FM since 2 April, with the support of its founders, people and businesses from the city community, and from Latest Homes/Latest 7. The station is broadcasting an eclectic mix of city news, views, arts and music from around Brighton and the world, and is presented by people from our city. Latest Homes/Latest 7 has its own daily drive-time show Monday to Friday 4–6pm, presented by Jeff Hemmings, bringing you all the latest information and views that you would expect from the city’s favourite magazine. Jeff comments: “The Latest Show on RadioReverb will reflect the character of the city, and listeners can tune in daily to hear news on anything and everything that is taking place in Brighton and Hove, with guest presenters and interviews, and the most up-to-date news.” Bill Smith, editor of Latest Homes/Latest 7, continues: “I have been a fan of RadioReverb for many years and have supported it through its fundraising and preparation to get on air. I am immensely proud to be a part of this new station and to be giving to the city a radio show that they will tune in to every day.” It’s been a year since RadioReverb was awarded its FM licence from Ofcom to broadcast as a community radio station, and the year has been spent fundraising to buy equipment, siting the all-important aerial and bringing its producers into the studio to make their programmes. The team at RadioReverb would like to send a big thank you to all of those individuals, producers and businesses who have given their time or money over the years to get the station on air.

Open to all The making of programmes at RadioReverb is open to all. To submit an idea for a programme or any content on RadioReverb, producers will need to complete a submission form. Submissions will be taken at any time and will be reviewed every three months. For further information please visit www.radioreverb.com, email curator@radioreverb.com or call 01273 323040 during the surgery hours of 5pm to 6pm on Tuesdays.

Some of the highlights alongside The Latest Show include: Up and Out Daily breakfast show presented by John O’Rourke and Cat Harding. John and Cat host lively chat and discussion, covering the day’s local, national and unusual news, music, mini features and a host of special guests. To our knowledge this is the UK’s first gay radio show broadcasting on FM (weekdays from 8am to 10am). The Lie-In Two hours of funky world music, hip hop and chilled beats for those of you still in bed or pottering around the house (weekdays 10am to 12pm) – the antidote to the Sunday morning Bust the Box Breakfast Show (10am to 12pm), bringing you a mix of music and chat from the city’s party legends. 7@7 New local and unsigned music from every genre, including live sessions from RadioReverb and from venues around the city (weekdays, 7pm to 9pm, with a special weekend programme). The Space Hosted by Wayne Imms and featuring a blend of special guest interviews from the creative community and live music (Wednesdays, 6pm). The Anti-Pop Idol Show Non-commercial music, spoken word and poetry from the team that bring you The Globe live events (Saturdays, 2pm, monthly). Comedy highlights include: The V-Wing Vaudeville, comedy coming to you live from an imaginary psychiatric ward (Thursdays at noon); The Plotkin and Walker Experience, improvisational comedy sketches and plays (Mondays, 9pm); and Hanover Square, a close-to-the-edge, gently surreal, adult sitcom/soap opera set in this fictional Brighton area (various days, 11.45pm).

97.2fm

Home this Afternoon Presented by Peter Bailey, this is a magazine programme for the older community in Brighton, with a variety of news, arts and views from the area (Mondays, 3pm). Holistic Network Jayne Ralph will be delivering inspiration and information from experts in all areas of mind, body and spirit (Mondays, 2pm). latest 7 19

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ANDREW KAY’S FOOD&DRINK Dominic and Jeremy of Compass

Public nouse

Sponsored by large function space at the rear of the old pub. Here a massive candelabra is cocooned in a translucent net, as if Christo has got hold of the light fittings. Gathered together at the party was a motley assortment of local business people, some of the usual suspects as one might expect, but also a fair number of new faces. Now I like that – it’s good to see that they are interested in the local community and not just in dragging us all out from the city. In fact, if we all go out from the city it might spoil what they have created. I sat next to the very delicious Mel Upton who runs Shine Theatre Trust, an inclusive theatre group for children of all abilities that has built a massive reputation and has recently performed at the Houses of Parliament for a group of 100 MPs. They already have Greta Scacchi and Judy Parfitt as patrons, but they now have Compass Bars and The New Inn as supporters. Charitable work by Brighton’s licensed traders is no new thing but I was pleased to see that for once this is going to an arts organisation. I know that Julie Burchill bemoans arts sponsorship at the cost of vital services and support and I agree with her in many ways, but this is a local pub putting something into art for kids and I think she would approve of that. Oh, by the way, we did eat. Great canapés, sausage, ham, cheese and chutney, then through to the dining room where fillets of local plaice were rolled around a light mousseline of fish with a caper and lemon butter and served with herbed mash and greens; to follow a delicious mango curd tart with slices of fresh mango and crème fraîche. Good wines were served and a few short speeches made, followed by coffee, flapjacks and chocolate brownies in dainty squares. Compass owns a few other pubs that I plan to visit very soon. They sell good beer, great food and many are dog-friendly too. Now that’s what I call a good pub. The New Inn, 76 High Street, Hurstpierpoint 01273 834608, www.thenewinn-hurst.com

Andrew Kay praises the integrity of The New Inn in Hurstpierpoint I go to quite a lot of parties. It’s all part of the job and a very nice part on the whole. Some are stand-around-with-a-drink-and-a-canapé jobbies while others are more formal-sit-down affairs. I prefer the second, as my legs tend to give way and I find myself losing concentration. Losing concentration at a party is a bad idea, especially at lunchtime. If I lose concentration I can lose track of how much I have drunk – not that I drink much these days but still, it pays to be careful. Over the years I have tried to make it a rule never to review parties. After all, a party is not the same experience as visiting a venue to dine. I know that it can be a disappointment for restaurant owners but there you have it – or at least you did. I went to a party last week that was so nicely organised that I felt I would write about it and write about it straight away. Last year I missed what was reputedly one of the best parties of the year when Compass Bars opened a new venture, The Crown and Anchor, in Shoreham. I like what Compass is doing. I recently went to The Dover Castle, where the chef prepared a selection of dishes from the menu for me to try. I misjudged the starters, erroneously thinking they were the mains, and rather over-indulged, leaving not enough room for the main courses. I did manage to taste everything though, and was impressed by them all, in particular by a lamb stew and a green curry as well as by excellent potatoes. But what I like most is that they have kept the name and kept the atmosphere of this Hanover favourite.

Passionate about property, fanatical about food 59 Church Road, Hove 01273 735237 www.callaways.co.uk

‘‘Jeremy and Dominic had little intention of trying anything on – this means plenty of beams and original woodwork, log fires, subtle colours and unobtrusive contemporary lighting’’ Up the road is the Sir Charles Napier, another Hanover haunt that I was introduced to many years back by Simon Fanshawe. I now go on the odd Sunday and join friends at the quiz which is run by the fragrant Jean. The Napier is as happy and friendly a back street boozer as you can hope to find, the real deal with great beers, cosy corners and atmosphere in spades. Again Compass Bars have left well alone. Out at Hurstpierpoint The New Inn had fallen into ill repute. Compass moved in and sorted it out in style. The New Inn is a Grade II listed building dating back to 1450. This means that you can do some stuff and not do other stuff, or in simple terms, the planning department is watching you. Jeremy and Dominic of Compass had little intention of trying anything on and in their £150,000 refurbishment they have simply stripped back, repaired and renewed as much of the original structure as possible. This means plenty of beams and original woodwork, log fires, subtle colours and unobtrusive contemporary lighting. They have pulled it off in style too. Where they have given rein to modernism is in the 21 latest 7

New Exciting Menus Dinner Menu (3 course) £25.00 Sunday to Thursday 6pm till close ~~~~~

Lunch Menu (2 course) £11.95 Sunday to Friday 12pm to 5pm Or choose from our à la Carte menu ~~~~~ Please visit our web site to view menus

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latest hot

The Gourmet Fish & Chip Company

The Terraces Bar, Grill and Dining Room

LIST

The Gourmet Fish and Chip Company at Brighton Marina has taken the dish into the 21st century. Diners can enjoy fantastic top-grade fish and chips in a trendy diner environment and even enjoy a beer while they wait for their takeaway order. Check out the gourmet fish platter and lunch-time specials. The restaurant is located on the ground-floor level of the waterfront and is open seven days a week. Fully licensed. The Walk of Fame, 18 Waterfront, Brighton Marina, 01273 670701 www.gourmetfishandchipcompany.com

Terraces bar and grill offers customers a relaxed approach to drinking, eating and hospitality. The lower level is available for private parties, wedding receptions, corporate events, Christmas parties, formal dinners or product launches. Whatever you want, you can be sure of an experience as consistently satisfying as the breathtaking views across Brighton seafront. Madeira Drive, Brighton, 01273 570526, www.the-terraces.co.uk

RESTAURANTS & BARS

RESTAURANTS BRITISH AND MODERN EUROPEAN Bardsley’s Probably Brighton’s most popular fish and chip shop and restaurant with a large loyal clientele. Totally traditional and family-run with all your favourites, but also an excellent blackboard of daily fish specials. BYO with no corkage charge, they’re open for lunch and dinner Tuesday to Saturday and it’s also a great party venue. There are massive fish platters and good seasonal seafood. Fish can be fried, grilled or poached, plus vegetarian choices. 22–23a Baker Street, Brighton, 01273 681256

Blanch House The restaurant at Blanch House is an inhouse affair. All involved are dedicated to excellence in food, service and wines but with no pretensions. You can sit back and take pleasure in the relaxed atmosphere of dinner at your best friend’s house while enjoying innovative food, attentive and personal service, and superb wine and cocktail lists. The menu changes with the seasons and availability to ensure that only the freshest high-quality produce is used. Meat, dairy products and other ingredients are locally sourced and organic where possible. Fish is from the local day boats when available. 17 Atlingworth Street, Brighton, 01273 603504, www.blanchhouse.co.uk

Café Belge Café Belge offers award-winning food (Café Belge Eastbourne received a gold star for food from the prestigious Harden’s Guide 2006) – 50 ways to eat a fresh mussel, salmon fishcakes, award-winning 12” wild boar and beer sausage, fresh sea bass, steak Béarnaise, Toblerone fondue, Belgian waffles – just to give you an insight into what to expect. They also stock more than 100 beers all served in their own glasses, from light and delicious fruit beers to Trapist Monk beers to Belgian Guinness as well as a fine wine list. 64 Kings Rd (corner of West St & seafront), 01273 733290, www.cafebelge.co.uk

The Coach House Friendly restaurant bar in the city centre serving an excellent range of hearty homecooked food, separate evening and lunch menus, and always a selection of roasts on Sunday. Great mussels, steaks, soups and a good wine list. In the winter a central open fire roars, in summer people soak up the late sun on the pretty terrace. The warm atmosphere and good value pricing make this a popular local haunt. 59 Middle Street, Brighton, 01273 719000 www.coachhousebrighton.com

New Steine Bistro Cosy French bistro with regular art exhibitions creating the perfect setting for the appreciation of traditional homemade French cuisine either with friends or for a romantic night out. A hidden gem in the heart of Kemp Town, and very reasonable too! With its daily evening menu at £10.50 weekdays and £14.50 Friday and Saturday. A la carte menu Tuesday to Saturday 6pm to 10pm for last orders. Available for all celebrations and party bookings with taylor-made menu to your needs including live entertainment. 12a New Steine, Brighton, 01273 681546 reservation@newsteinehotel.com www.newsteinehotel.com

Polar Bar East Polar Bar East is pleased to introduce their new Scottish-based winter menu. This is a style of food we southerners are not exactly familiar with, but Rob and Nolan from the Polar are confident it’s going to be a hit with not only the locals but also with new customers. It’s not surprising considering it’s tipped by celebrity chef Gordon Ramsey as the new food of 2007. Yes, this so-called peasant food is growing in stature just as many other so called working-class foods have done during the recent years. Its nutritious and wholesome quantity assures that there’s a sense of home in this food. All the meat is supplied by the premium quality butchers Brampton’s of Kemp Town. What to expect – Scots beef, tatties, soups, stews and, of course, haggis. Prices start from £4. 8 St George’s Road, Kemp Town, Brighton, 01273 683334

Ruby Tate’s Situated at the heart of cosmopolitan Kemp Town, Ruby Tate’s oyster and champagne bar really is the pearl of Brighton. From moules marinière to lobster Thermidor, this is a paradise for seafood lovers. The restaurant’s stylish décor and trademark friendly service ensure that diners enjoy the gourmet food and fine champagne in a relaxed, informal atmosphere. 40 St James’s Street, Brighton, 01273 693251

Sevendials Restaurant A smart restaurant in so many ways, excellent food and a sensible variety of menus in chic surroundings. Chef Sam runs a team of food-lovers who deliver time after time, from a simple lunch to a full à la carte dinner. Cooking reflects the seasons rather than fashion, and quality is paramount, with great locally caught fish, game in season and desserts that are a delight plus a wine list that is full of treats without being expensive too. Make the most of the terrace while the weather is warm or the private dining room for a treat. 1 Buckingham Place, Brighton, 01273 885555 www.sevendialsrestaurant.co.uk

GREEK Symposio Greek Taverna In a city with very few Greek eateries it’s great to find somewhere warm and inviting to indulge in some Greek food. From magnificent mezze to classic grilled meats, Symposio has a great taverna atmosphere and the lively style of the venue adds a great ambience to what can be a terrific party venue. Also fabulous for a romantic dinner, family outing or business meal. The moussaka is a must and also the deep red wine-soaked sausages and crisp calamari. 121 Western Road, Hove 01273 779474 www.ipanemarestaurants.com

INDIAN Nooris Indian Cuisine One of Brighton’s longest-standing Indian restaurants and justifiably so. Smart service and a menu that, as well as offering all our favourite dishes, has some interesting and unusual dishes on offer. Great central location just off the seafront. Portions are on the very generous side so order carefully. We have always been particularly impressed by the vegetarian menu, especially the malai kupta. Excellent breads and side dishes too. £6.95 for a twocourse meal and £11.95 for a three-course meal with wine. 70 Ship Street, Brighton 01273 329405

ITALIAN Donatello The flagship venue of this local family-run business serving excellent-value Italian food in stylish and spotless surroundings. It is popular with locals in the week but at the weekend it draws an audience from London. There are brilliant-value meal deals on blackboards outside – two courses £6.95, three £8.95 – as well as à la carte. The haunt of celebs in season from soap stars to politicos. Fun, friendly and fabulous value. Brighton Place, Brighton, 01273 775477, www.donatello.co.uk

Fat Leo Supposedly the budget branch of the Donatello stable but you’d be hard-pressed to see why. Once again, quality family dining in the Italian mould but a little less expensive. Very popular with students and families with young children, Fat Leo has trendy interiors, including the toilets, and a menu that is utterly affordable with the company’s signature set-price boards proclaiming any two courses £5.95, any three courses £7.95. 16–17 Market Street, Brighton, 01273 325135

LATIN AMERICAN Las Iguanas Brazilian cooking has come to town and with it all the fun of the caipirinha. Spicy, fun and inexpensive, this Latin newcomer is already proving popular, especially the two-for-one cocktail deals and an excellent £7 two-course lunch menu. Whacky interiors and a cool cocktail bar give the place a carnival feel all the time and the staff are friendly and fun too. If you don’t know what cachaca is, then it’s time to find out. 7–8 Jubilee Street, Brighton, 01273 573550, www.iguanas.co.uk

SOUTH EAST ASIAN Bali Brasserie Located in a 1960s mansion block, this very popular Indonesian-Malaysian restaurant has a rijsttafel buffet dining menu at £16.95 with a wide and generous range of dishes that are constantly replenished. There is also an à la carte menu. Nice original retro décor, bamboo and cane, pink and gilt, with lots of oriental puppets, jazz playing and a friendly atmosphere. Very Simon Templar. Kingsway Court, First Avenue, Hove, 01273 323810, 12-2pm, 6.30-10.30pm (till 11pm Friday and Saturday)

SPANISH La Tapa De Oro This large upper room is home to great and authentic Spanish cooking. Tapas has been trendy for years but here the emphasis is on real Iberian food. Favourites include sweet slices of octopus on boiled potato slices dressed with olive oil, lovely ensalad Russe and great jamon Serrano. Informal and friendly, this is a great place for a romantic dinner, family outing, business meal or party. 123 Western Road, Hove 01273 779474 www.ipanemarestaurants.com

THAI Chokdee Possibly the first of its kind, this premium take-away offers fantastic-quality Thai food to your door if you use the home-delivery service or to take away if you are passing. You can eat in too, as there is a stylish dining area. Counter service does away with additional service charges, so you can enjoy Thai food as often as you like without the fuss. At Chokdee it’s the food that’s the thing. Foodies – start the queue! 98 Goldstone Villas, Hove, 01273 720370, open every day (12pm–3pm and 5pm–11pm)

Sawadee The Thai restaurant people love, for parties and celebrations and because they always give the best of times. And why not; this well-priced restaurant repeatedly pleases with dishes we have all grown to love, and some new ones too. We were impressed by the use of authentic ingredients such as pea aubergines where others use peas. Lots of fish dishes too with bass and pomfret and a great sliced beef salad. 87 St James’s Street, Brighton, 01273 624233, www.sawadeethai.co.uk

To have an entry in the latest hot list call 01273 818150 22 latest 7

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FOOD & DRINK

This popular and stylish Hove café restaurant offers delicious healthy hot and cold food in combination with being an excellent centre for therapies, treatments and classes. Healthy breakfasts, chunky sandwiches, soups, main meals, jacket potatoes and salads form the core of the menu. Freshly pressed fruit and vegetable juices in delicious revitalising combos, delicious fair-trade teas and coffee, vegan and gluten-free options. Open seven days a week, families welcome. You can eat for less than a fiver! 86 Church Road, Hove, 01273 738389, www.revitalise-u.com

BARS & PUBS The Bell This friendly, traditional pub reopened its doors at the end of last year after having undergone extensive refurbishment and is now under new ownership. Tucked away off Blatchington Road, it already has a name for itself for its great value food, freshly made every day from locally sourced products, including fantastic roasts on Sundays. The pub is child friendly and there’s often something extra going on, from quiz nights to live music. There’s also a function room available to hire. If that’s not enough, they also have happy hours every Monday to Friday from 4pm-7pm. 15-17 Belfast Street, Hove, 01273 770773

Blanch House The award-winning cocktail bar is located on the ground floor of the five-storey building and offers an eclectic range of superbly made cocktails. The owner, Chris Edwardes, has managed many renowned bars, restaurants and clubs in London, including the Groucho Club, The Pharmacy, as well as opening the Jazz Café, The Atlantic, and the Ge Club for Conran. His cocktail skills have been described as ’legendary’ by those in the know and with over 30 years’ experience in the industry it was only a matter of time before he opened his own quality venue. 17 Atlingworth Street, Brighton, 01273 603504, www.blanchhouse.co.uk

The Eagle Great atmosphere, warm welcome, good beer and above all, great food from this gastropub. Hearty, modern food inspired by global cuisine and sensibly priced – you won’t go home hungry or broke. Right in the heart of the North Laine, an excellent place for lunch or dinner. Voted Latest 7 Pub Of The Year. 125 Gloucester Road, Brighton, 01273 607765

The Eclipse A traditional community boozer with a prime location in Poets Corner, Hove. The lively public bar contains large-screen TVs with Sky Sports and Prem Plus and a leaguestandard pool table, while the saloon bar offers quality Harvey’s ales and comfortable seating. Freshly prepared lunchtime food is served daily. An exclusive function room is available for small parties or meetings. 33 Montgomery Street, Hove, 01273 272212

Image: Michael Powell

VEGETARIAN Revitalise (formerly Planet Janet)

GinGin Sophisticated cocktail chic at this stylish St James’s Street bar. Try one of the head barman’s innovative cocktails using unusual mixes and fresh herbs. Cool interiors and a warm and friendly atmosphere, which, for once in a city that worships youth, is not ageist. St James’s Street, Kemp Town, Brighton, 01273 671119

The Greene Room This fantastic contemporary bar is found just above the Cricketers – the oldest pub in Brighton. The Greene Room plays host to a large cocktail and wine list to be enjoyed in a relaxed and comfortable environment. Three adjoining rooms make it a perfect venue for gatherings and parties in the heart of Brighton. Available for private hire. Above The Cricketers, Black Lion Street, Brighton, 01273 329472

The Hop Poles Great central pub with off-the-wall décor and a loyal clientele of the city’s fashionable best. A fantastic menu of wellpriced food means it gets very busy and seats are at a premium, even in winter on the heated terrace, so get there early. Excellent free-range meat is specially sourced, while vegetarians are well catered for too. 13 Middle Street, Brighton, 01273 710444

Koba Koba hosts a happy hour between 5pm and 7pm all week. Three bars over three floors with a dedicated team of mixologists. This venue stands as a flagship of quality in Brighton and has been nominated in the top ten bars/clubs in the UK by The Independent. Good beers, a sensible wine list and, of course, champagne for those special occasions or just the sheer love of it. The perfect venue for a private party or an atmospheric night out. Live music on Thursdays, DJs on the weekend. For free K-list membership go to the website. 135 Western Road, Brighton, 01273 720059, www.kobauk.com

Preston Park Tavern This stunning new gastro-pub is situated on Havelock Road in Fiveways. Fresh, locally sourced food is served seven days a week from the open-plan kitchen. A separate children’s menu is available in this totally non-smoking venue. It boasts a great range of real ales and lagers as well as a 17 bin wine list, all served by the glass or bottle. 88 Havelock Road, Brighton, 01273 542271

The Shakespeare’s Head Set in the heart of Brighton’s city centre, this traditional back street pub offers something for everyone. Fresh food at lunchtime complements a wide variety of beers, ales and wines. For sport lovers the pub has a large screen TV showing Sky Sports and Prem Plus and a brand-new pool table. This central pub boasts a function room which can hired for exclusive use. 1 Spring Street, Brighton, 01273 204680

What’s cooking this week? A delicious Easter lunch From TV chef Rachel Green Popular TV chef Rachel Green is back with a seasonal recipe for Easter time. Taking a new twist on the traditional lamb dinner, this mouth-watering recipe with redcurrants, carrot and rosemary is sure to impress friends and family. Succulent, savoury and extremely tasty, this meal will break up the chore of eating chocolate eggs. Zara Friend

Lamb, redcurrant, carrot and rosemary cobbler Ingredients 700g lamb leg/shoulder, diced A little flour Salt and freshly ground pepper 3tbsp olive oil 4 carrots, peeled and cut into chunky 2cm rings 1 onion 1 leek, cut into rings 2 cloves garlic finely diced (optional) 1 bay leaf

Pinch dried rosemary/1tsp fresh 1tbsp redcurrant jelly 850ml good lamb or vegetable stock For the cobbler 225g self-raising flour 50g butter, cut into cubes and chilled 1tsp dried rosemary 50g strong Cheddar cheese, grated 2 eggs 120ml milk Serves 6

1. Preheat the oven to 180°C/350°F/gas mark 4. 2. Toss the lamb in flour seasoned with salt and pepper. Heat the oil in a large casserole/saucepan and brown the meat in batches. Remove and set aside. Add the carrot, onion and leek and cook, stirring from time to time, for 5–10 minutes, until the vegetables are lightly browned and starting to soften. Add the garlic, if using, and cook for a further minute. Add the bay leaf, rosemary and redcurrant jelly and blend in the stock. Season, cover and cook in the preheated oven for 1 hour, until the lamb is almost tender. 3. Turn the oven up to 220°C/425°F/gas mark 7. Sift the flour with 1 ⁄2tsp salt into a large bowl. Rub in the chilled butter with fingertips, until the mixture resembles breadcrumbs. Add the rosemary and grated cheese. Beat the eggs in a jug and add the milk. Make a well in the centre of the mixture and add the liquid. Bring together with a knife to form a soft dough and knead lightly, the mixture will be sticky. Roll out on a floured surface to 1” thickness, and cut into rounds with a floured cutter. 4. Put the rounds directly on top of the casserole. You can brush with beaten egg for a golden crust. Cook in the preheated oven for 15–20 minutes, until the cobbler is well risen and golden brown.

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Let us prey Andrew Kay talks Sunday lunch and food in general at The Eagle in the North Laine For years Brighton’s pubs were being bought out and converted into bars – decades of tradition covered in or even ripped out. Thank heaven it has stopped, the real pub is back and nowhere more effectively so than at The Eagle. The Eagle is owned and run by Dominic McCartan and Tony Leonard and managed by Paul ‘Cass’ Cassidy. Dominic first had the Coopers Cask, a traditional pub but one with no kitchen. Despite that he managed to put out food on Sundays. Of course, before long he wanted a pub with a kitchen and eventually had five including The Hop Poles and The Eagle. They have pared down the operation now to those two, and the combination works well with both venues having a strong regular clientele and a great reputation for food. Dominic, once a vegetarian, is passionate about good food and is an accomplished and mainly self-taught chef. He did attend the famous Ballymaloe Cookery School in County Cork and was at that time the only vegetarian on the course. Now omniverous once more he is committed to buying only locally produced, naturally farmed free-range meats. ‘‘The lamb, pork and beef used all come from Bridge Farm in Lingfield; chicken comes from Mike Pinard based at Lodge Farm near South Godstone and he plans to supply duck soon. Cheeses come from Sussex Weald.’’ While Dominic is based at The Hop Poles, Steve the chef at The Eagle is equally committed to quality food and cooking, and a quick look through his menu proves just that. His CV shows that he has worked for the Hotel du Vin chain and at Seattle Hotel. With a short menu of changing starters and a few puddings at £4, the bulk of his menu is made up of main courses.

“We pride ourselves on being totally inclusive: young, old, gay, straight. We wanted to create the sort of pub that we would like to go in and we have” Since starting, The Eagle has been praised for its tasty food, but almost as much for the generosity of its portions. It’s a policy that they maintain, although they have simplified some aspects of the menu and they have cut back in certain areas where they recognised that people simply could not eat all that was on the plate. “We have also sadly lost our artisan bakery for now – it was just not cost-effective – but we would love to start one independently one day.’’ The menu could be described as global. You are equally as likely to find a Moroccan dish as a

Mexican, an Irish as an Italian – and it’s all fresh and home-made. ‘‘Since we started buying our chickens whole we have to use them well, hence we make stock with the bones and giblets and paté with the livers.’’ It’s a holistic approach that you will find in every top kitchen – the classic practice of a good chef. So for Sunday lunch what can you expect? Well, always a roast and always a nut roast which is vegan. There is a vegan in the kitchen so you can be sure that it will be good. There’s also two kinds of gravy, one for the meat and one not. Then there will be a range of other dishes: salads, kedgeree perhaps, a risotto… it really does depend on what they find that is fresh and looks good. It’s all part of their drive to make the food that they offer seasonal as well as local. So is The Eagle in danger of becoming a restaurant? ‘‘No, absolutely not. We are a pub that sells good food and beer. We pride ourselves on being totally inclusive: young, old, gay, straight. We wanted to create the sort of pub that we would like to go in and we have. It’s a friendly space, relaxed and informal – the sort of place that students bring their parents to; local businesses lunch here or even have meetings. Food accounts for 50 per cent of our business these days but we never forget that we are a pub. We haven’t sold tobacco for years and soon we will be smoke-free like everyone else. We look forward to that.’’ Manager Cass is also proud of the fact that there is no TV, no sport, and he loves his marine aquarium where flamboyant fish are the closest you will get to drag cabaret. As well as loyal and regular customers they also have a long-serving team of staff. People join and don’t want to leave. It’s that sort of continuity that gives a pub heart and this pub at the heart of the North Laine certainly has that. The Eagle, 125 Gloucester Road, Brighton, 01273 607765

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026_LS315_ads

3/29/07

12:43 PM

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FOOD&DRINK

The lunch bunch Four great pubs for those who like their booze accompanied by a hearty meal

The Eclipse, Hove

The Duke Of York, Sayers Common

Situated in the heart of Poets Corner, the Eclipse pub has recently undergone a renovation. In line with the rest of the pub, the food offer was radically overhauled and the result has been greeted by the locals with delight. As one would expect in a traditional English public house, the food on offer is hearty, freshly-cooked and always served with a smile! All the usual suspects are present and correct – great sandwiches, steaming jacket potatoes, all day brekkies, plus a fantastic selection of Sandra’s special dishes – Irish stew, chip bowls, classic Welsh rarebit to name but a few. All are reasonably priced and the pub also offers a great selection of Harveys draught beers, plus an extensive wine list. If you are a sports fan, then all of these can be enjoyed in front of two large flat screens showing all the latest sport from Sky, including Prem Plus matches. The Eclipse, 33 Montgomery Street, Hove, East Sussex, BN3 5BF. Call 01273 272212

You’ll find this picturesque country pub on the Old London Road, just a few minutes from Hickstead Show Jumping Course. Part of local pub company Golden Lion Group, The Duke Of York specialises on looking after its hungry customers. The new year saw a fresh start, with a new management team and new chef joining to build on the existing reputation and add a new dimension to the pub. A recently-introduced menu has kept all of the classics for lunch and dinner while adding more exotic dishes such as braised rabbit Maltese-style and local calves liver and crispy bacon. Exceptionally well-priced for home-made, wholesome dishes made from locally sourced produce, it is recommended that customers book a table in advance. With summer fast approaching, the large beer garden is a constant sun-trap, so get there early to grab the best spot. The Duke also offers reasonably-priced accommodation and a fine selection of real ales and lagers. The Duke Of York, London Road, Sayers Common, Hassocks, West Sussex, BN6 9HY Call 01273 832262

The Exchange, Hove

The Bell, Hove

A traditional pub with strong roots in the community, The Exchange is a spacious and relaxed venue located in the heart of Hove. The bar stocks a good selection of wines, beers and spirits, while the family-run kitchen produces an ever-changing menu of traditional lunches, dinners and light bites. Lunchtime meal and drink offers on wines and beer ensure a relaxed break from work, and the Sunday roasts provide the perfect finale to the weekend. Football is shown on the big screen during weeknights, but Friday and Saturday evenings are given over to good music and a fair amount of cavorting! The Exchange, 8 Goldstone Street, Hove, BN3 3RL. Call 01273 821677

While priding itself on fantastic, great value food – made fresh everyday using ingredients sourced from local suppliers – The Bell in Hove prefers to steer clear of the term ‘gastro-pub’. This is, in essence, a traditional, child-friendly independent drinkery, with cheery staff and a relaxed atmosphere. The food is wondeful though, with such enticing prospects as home-made rustic fish fingers, beef burgers and apple pie. It’s served 12 ’til 3pm and 5 ’til 9.30pm, except for Sundays when The Bell’s mouthwatering roasts are rolled out between 12 and 6:30pm. The pub also puts on regular live music and quiz nights, and has its happy hours 4 ’til 7pm Monday to Friday, when you can get a bottle of wine for £7.50 and double spirits with mixer for £3.85. The Bell, 15–17 Belfast Street, Hove, East Sussex, BN3 3YS. Call 01273 770773 latest 7 27

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Sister food If you are visiting Glasgow be sure to visit The Sisters restaurants for a true taste of Scotland The Sisters restaurants are two of Glasgow’s finest family-run eateries, offering clever hybrid of hearty home cooking against an elegant, modern backdrop. The two restaurants have developed an enviable reputation for their Scots-Irish home cooking and excellent appreciation of Scotland’s larder. The food at The Sisters is locally renowned, reflecting the seasons and Scotland’s bounty of fresh and wild produce. Giving a real taste of the whole country in the heart of Glasgow, the menus include scallops and langoustines that are landed at the pier in Ullapool and brought to the restaurant personally by the fishermen. Also on offer is the best wild venison that Ardnamurchan has to offer, homemade bread and oatcakes, fresh beetroot, wild rocket and courgette flowers from the Isle of Arran, and the Sisters’ infamous puff candy meringue. The Sisters story started eight years ago when, as its name suggests, two sisters,

“The food at The Sisters is locally renowned, reflecting the seasons and Scotland’s bounty of fresh and wild produce” Jacqueline and Pauline O’Donnell, opened their first restaurant, Deirfiuracha (‘the sisters’ in Gaelic). Jacqueline cooks while Pauline looks after front of house. In need of larger premises, The Sisters (in its English form) moved to Ashwood Gardens, where the restaurant boasts homely charm and a warm rustic colour scheme. The second Sisters restaurant, which opened in Kelvingrove in October 2005 to high acclaim, is aimed at a younger, trendier market, with modern black, white and charcoal interiors and a warm fire to add a glow. Highly commended in the Scottish Chef Awards 2006 as Best New Restaurant, the

Kelvingrove restaurant retains the trademark stylish, intimate atmosphere and the same short and carefully selected menus as the older Sister. The restaurant also has a private dining table adjacent to the main dining room, which can be sectioned off for private meetings or private parties of up to 12 diners. From the early days, The Sisters has been a restaurant worth seeking out, and the two thriving restaurants now demand considerable advance booking for a weekend table. The Sisters Jordanhill, 1a Ashwood Gardens, Jordanhill, Glasgow G13 1NU, 0141 434 1179 The Sisters Kelvingrove, 36 Kelvingrove Street, Glasgow G3 7RZ, 0141 564 1157 See www.thesisters.co.uk

Tai Chi “The Perfect Exercise” www.clearskytaichi.co.uk

01273 239054 Book now – £5 off with this advert! Also known as “swimming on dry land”, Tai Chi is simple to learn, and will give you a lifetime of pleasure and benefits. The exercise is gentle, calming and relaxing, requiring no special equipment – except you! Proven to relieve stress, arthritis, diabetes, and much, much more..! Classes in Brighton, Hove, and Seaford New term starts from April 16th

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HEALTH

See more health tips at wavemagazine.co.uk

Weight off

Health & fitness

Is the waistline feeling somewhat tight of late? Time to make some changes says Miranda Glavin

Abs Blast With Martin. Fitforall. 6pm, £3 BE Pilates Mat Class Rehab/basic classes. 01273 273074 for info. Back2Balance. 5.45–6.45pm, & 7–8pm, £45 for six weeks Children’s Kungfu Ages 7–11. Cornerstone Community Centre. 4–5pm, £4 Flamenco Dance Lower/Int. The Dance Station. 8.15–9.15pm, £8.50 Flamenco Dance Technique Contact Ana for more info. The Dance Station. 7–8.15pm, £8.50 Hatha Yoga All levels. Info call Sandy: 01273 505433, Unit 4, 9.30–11.00am, £6 Hypnotherapy Free consultations with Peter J Hassell: smoking, anxiety and other issues. 07884 213599 Komaja’s Love Meditation Meditation and mantra singing. Komaja Centre, Hove. 7.30–9.30pm, donation Lunchtime Oasis Meditation Brighton Buddhist Centre. 1.15–1.45pm, £3/£2 Rev’s Up! Indoor Cycling Fun fitness session at Peacehaven Leisure Centre. 7.45pm (also Mon 7.45pm, Thu 6pm) £4.30 drop-in Tai Chi & Qi Gong The Acupuncture Clinic. 8–10pm, £7 drop-in

©istockphoto.com

With latest figures suggesting the UK will soon be rivalling our American friends in the obesity stakes, it is clear it’s an issue that urgently needs addressing. Although the right diet and exercise play a major part, in order to maintain a healthy weight you need to have the right mental attitude and it may include making some lifestyle choices. So whether you’re concerned about toning up, or you, your children or partner have a fair amount of weight to lose, there are some simple steps you can take to help you start and stay on the right path..

TUESDAY 3

Looking forward If you are overweight (check your BMI and cholesterol for an accurate picture), losing just 5 to 10 per cent can immediately bring significant health benefits – such as lowering your blood cholesterol by 10 per cent and your risk of dying from a diabetes-related problem by 30 per cent. It can also alleviate problems such as mild depression, joint pain, breathlessness, polycystic ovary syndrome and fertility problems. Of course, it also goes without saying that eating a better diet and exercising more will also leave you feeling far fitter and healthier. Those who’ve been on and off the crash-diet wagon will know that there’s no quick fix and success will be down to setting achievable goals and being patient. Losing around 1lb to 2lb a week is a healthy rate. One way of checking whether your plan is sensible is to employ the SMART acronym. Make your goals Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant and Time-specific and you should be well on your way. Also, rather than frantically weighing yourself at any given opportunity, try it only once a week, or check your progress with other measurements, such as your chest, so it doesn’t become a battle between you and the digits on the scales.

The right approach You’ve heard it a million times: in order to lose weight you need to eat a balanced diet and exercise regularly. Yet many of us try to get away with only doing one or the other (or neither). Simply, the keys to a healthy diet are variety and proportions. This means including a combination of several different food types, including grains and pulses, fresh fruit and vegetables, meat, dairy products, fats and oils in your diet and ensuring you get all the nutrients your body needs while maintaining a healthy weight as suggested by The Food Standards Agency’s programme: ‘The Balance of Good Health’. In regard to exercise, 30 minutes’ moderate activity a day is the recommended amount. Two 15-minute sessions are just as good and a brisk walk does count! If motivation (or crucially, follow through) is lacking, remember that once you’ve started eating better and being more active the end result will become a lot more feasible. And there’s nothing like being able to fit into a pair of trousers you couldn’t before for weight loss inspiration. So go for it!

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WEDNESDAY 4 Abs and Backs Dean’s Leisure Centre. 8–8.20pm, £1 Aerobics Circuits Dean’s Leisure Centre. 7–8pm, £4 Ashtanga Yoga Brighton Buddhist Centre. 12.45–2pm, £6/£4 Dynamic Yoga Orchid Health. 8–9.30pm and Mondays 7–8.30pm, £5 Eight Treasures Qi Gong St Mary Magdalen Community Centre. 6.15–7.15pm, also same time Monday, £8 Ki & Aikido Basics Bob: 01273 323315. Brighton Ki Centre. 7–9pm, £6 Ki & Aikido Teen Class 13–16 years. Peter: 07946 709120. Brighton Ki Centre. 5.15–6.15pm, £2.50 Morning Soto Zen Meditation Bodhi Garden. Info: 01273 682974. 7.30–8.30am, suggested donation £5 Shaolin Tai Qi – Rou Quan St Mary Magdalen Centre. Also same time Monday. 7.15pm–8.15pm, £8, (£25 for all 4 classes at the centre) Yoga Drop-in with Jackie Coulson. Wendy Whatling School of Dance. 9.15–10.45am (also Thursday 7.45–8.45pm) Yummymummys Fitforall. 10.30am, £4

THURSDAY 5 BE Pilates Semi-Private Matwork Classes Carla for info: 01273 273074. BE Pilates Studio, Westdene. 10.15am and 6.30pm, (also same time Mondays) £75 for 6 weeks Body Control Pilates Mixed and advanced classes. Holistic Health Centre. 8–9.15pm, £60 for 6 weeks Brighton Jamyang Group Info: Ian 07758 150722. 7.30–9.30pm, suggested donation £5 Egyptian Belly Dancing Drop-in workout class. Wendy Whatling. 11–12pm Hatha Yoga Patcham Community Centre. 07986 850029. 9.45–11.15am, £6

Hip Hop/R’n’B Dance Class Peacehaven Leisure Centre. 8pm drop-in, £4.30 Low-Cost Acupuncture The Acupuncture Clinic, 1–6.5pm, £15 Mindful Hatha Yoga With Taravajra, call 07985 314181 for info. Unit 4. 11.30–1pm Pilates Beginners mat-based class. Pre-book with Francesca on 07958 204 211. Wendy Whatling School of Dance, 9.45-10.45am, £54 for 6 weeks Vajrasati Yoga B’tn Buddhist Centre. 1–2.15pm, £6/£4 Yoga With Jo. Fitforall. 7.15pm, £4

FRIDAY 6 Back Care Class Pilatesbased class. The Acupuncture Clinic. 11–12pm, £48 for 6 Sahaja Yoga Class Meditation. Info call Martin: 01273 202610. Brighthelm Centre. 7–9pm, free Sivananda Yoga Beg/int with Kelly: 07828 829965, Revitalise. 9.30–10.45am, £6 or £30 for 6 Tai Chi Chuan Class For over 50s. Contact Ian on 07900 193230 for more details. Leach Court. 11.30am, £3 Tai Chi Peacehaven Leisure Centre. 7.30pm drop-in, £4.30

SATURDAY 7 BE Pilates Mat Class Beg/Improvers. 01273 273074 for info. Coast Chiropractic. 10–11am and 11am–12pm, £45 for 6 weeks Children’s Ki & Aikido For ages 4–7. Brighton Ki Centre. Bob for info: 01273 323315. 9–9.45am, £2.50 Coretastic! With James. Fitforall, 10am, £4 Hatha Yoga (Scaravelli) 90-minute class. Coral Health and Fitness.12pm, £4.50 Iyengar Yoga Brighton Buddhist Centre. 9.30–10.45, £6/£4 Self Defence and Fitness Dorothy Stringer Sports Complex. Kids class 10-11am, adults 11am–12pm, (and Tue kids class 6.30–7.30pm and adults 7.30–8.30pm Vinyasa Flow Yoga Info call Tara: 07866 255391. Revitalise. 10.30am–12pm, £42 for 6 weeks/£8 drop-in

SUNDAY 8 Adult Tap Wendy Whatling. Beg: 7–8pm and int 8–9pm Aquarobics King Alfred. 10.30am–11.15am, £4.10 Hangover Spin Fitforall. 10am, £4

MONDAY 9 Chen Tai Chi All levels, Davigdor School. 6–7pm, £7. Info: 07799 097776 Fitness Pilates drop-in class. Dean’s Leisure Centre. 7.30–8.30pm, £5 (also a 5-week course Tuesdays, 9.30–10.30 and 7.30–8.30pm) Flamenco Dance Beginners. The Dance Station. 7–8.15pm, £8.50 Hatha Yoga Weekly class. The Dharma School. Call 07986 850029. 5.30–6.45pm, £30 for 6 weeks Hatha Yoga (Scaravelli) Coral Health and Fitness. 12pm & 7.10pm, £3.50 Inspiring Yoga All levels. Holistic Health Clinic. 6.15–7.45pm, £7 Kundalini Yoga For LGBT. Anahata Health Clinic. 7.45pm, £5/£4 Unguided Meditation Bodhi Garden. Alan: 07888 821524, 6–7pm, suggested donation £5 Womens Yoga (Scaravelli) The Acupuncture Clinic. 6.30–8pm, £9 drop-in,£32 for 4

DIRECTORY The Acupuncture Clinic 143 Portland Road, Hove 01273 722422 All Saints Church Hall Eaton Road, Hove Ian Kendall: 07900 193230 www.ik-taichi.com Anahata Health Clinic 119–120 Edward Street, Kemp Town, 01273 698687f Back2Balance 35 Goldstone Villas, Hove 01273 206 868 BE Pilates Studio 121 Eldred Ave, Westdene Carla: 01273 273074 Bodhi Garden Centre 7 Ship St Gardens, Brighton Call Richard 07796 331167 Brighthelm Community Centre North Road, Brighton Brighton Buddhist Centre 17 Tichborne Street, Brighton 01273 772090 Brighton Ki Centre 12 Queens Square, Brighton Barry: 07854 389606 Brighton Natural Health Centre Regent Street, Brighton 01273 600010 Brighton Reiki Centre Viaduct Road, Brighton 07968 982136 Coast Chiropractic 198 Church Road, Hove 01273 321144 Coral Health And Fitness Orchard Road, Hove 01273 731262 Cornerstone Community Centre Church Road, Hove The Dance Station Unit 4, 57 North Street, Portslade, 01273 419977 Davigdor Infants School Somerhill Road, Hove Bernie: 07799 097776 Dean’s Leisure Centre Longhill School Karen: 01273 305827 The Dharma School Ladies Mile Road, Patcham Diamond Way Buddhist Centre Montpelier Road, Brighton Ingrid: 07736 061108 Dorothy Stringer Sports Complex Loder Road, B’ton. Info on 07895 066321 Fitforall Unit 1, Portland Road Trading Estate, Hove, 01273 415515 Holistic Health Clinic 53 Beaconsfield Rd, Brighton 01273 696295 Johnson Page Healthcare Chiropractic & Medical Acupuncture, 15 Ship Street, Brighton, 01273 724777 King Alfred Leisure Centre Kingsway, Hove 01273 290290 Komaja Centre 21a Upper Market Street, Hove. Cela: 01273 771472 Leach Court Eastern Road, Brighton. Ian Kendall: 07900 193230 More Bar/Restaurant 98 Trafalger Street, Brighton 07717 584738 Patcham Community Centre Ladies Mile Road, Patcham Peacehaven Leisure Centre Greenwich Way, Peacehaven 01273 588858 Revitalise (Planet Janet) 86 Church Road, Hove 01273 738389 St Mary Magdalen Community Centre 55 Upper North St, Brighton 01273 676992 Unit 4 20–26 Roundhill St, Brighton Wendy Whatling School of Dance Unit 11a Dyke Road Mews, Brighton, wendywhat ling@btconnect.com

List for FREE in this section. Email health events to editorial@thelatest.co.uk with the date, place, time and cost

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FILM www.odeon.co.uk

0871 224 4007 Tuesday 3

Thursday 5

300 (15) 11.30, 12.15, 2.00, 3.00, 5.00, 6.00, 8.00, 9.00 AMAZING GRACE (PG) 8.15 HOT FUZZ (15) 2.45, 5.15, 8.15 MEET THE ROBINSONS (U) 12.00, 2.30, 5.15 MR BEAN’S HOLIDAY (PG) 11.00, 11.30, 1.00, 2.00, 3.30, 4.30, 6.00, 7.00, 8.30, 9.30 NORBIT (12A) 12.15 PREMONITION (12A) 9.00 TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES (PG) 11.45, 2.15, 4.30, 7.00 THE HILLS HAVE EYES 2 (18) 12.15, 2.30, 4.45, 7.00, 9.15

300 (15) 11.30, 12.15, 2.00, 3.00, 5.00, 6.00, 8.00, 9.00 HOT FUZZ (15) 8.15pm MEET THE ROBINSONS (U) 12.00, 2.30, 5.15 MR BEAN’S HOLIDAY (PG) 11.00, 11.30, 1.00, 2.00, 3.30, 4.30, 6.00, 7.00, 8.30, 9.30 NORBIT (12A) 12.15 PREMONITION (12A) 9.00 SUNSHINE (15) 2.45, 5.45, 8.15 TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES (PG) 11.45, 2.15, 4.30, 7.00 THE HILLS HAVE EYES 2 (18) 12.15, 2.30, 4.45, 7.00, 9.15 SENIOR SCREEN: THE NATIVITY STORY (PG) 10.30am

Wednesday 4 300 (15) 11.30, 12.15, 2.00, 3.00, 5.00, 6.00, 8.00, 9.00 HOT FUZZ (15) 8.15 MEET THE ROBINSONS (U) 12.00, 2.30, 5.15 MR BEAN’S HOLIDAY (PG) 11.00, 11.30, 1.00, 2.00, 3.30, 4.30, 6.00, 7.00, 8.30, 9.30 NORBIT (12A) 12.15 PREMONITION (12A) 9.00 SUNSHINE (15) 2.45, 5.45, 8.15 TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES (PG) 11.45, 2.15, 4.30, 7.00 THE HILLS HAVE EYES 2 (18) 12.15, 2.30, 4.45, 7.00, 9.15

Films showing Friday 6–Monday 9 300 (15) HOT FUZZ (15) MEET THE ROBINSONS (U) MR BEAN’S HOLIDAY (PG) SUNSHINE (15) TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES (PG) THE HILLS HAVE EYES 2 (18)

PLEASE CHECK WITH CINEMA BEFORE TRAVELLING

www.picturehouses.co.uk

01273 626261 Tuesday 3

Saturday 7

BAMAKO (PG) 6.30 DAYS OF GLORY (12A) 4.00, 9.00 OLD JOY (15) 1.30

DAYS OF GLORY (12A) 6.30 LIGHTS IN THE DUSK (PG) 4.15, 9.00 KID’S CLUB: ASTERIX AND THE VIKINGS (U) 11.00am

Wednesday 4 BAMAKO (PG) 1.30 DAYS OF GLORY (12A) 4.00, 9.00 OLD JOY (15) 11.00, 6.30

Sunday 8

Thursday 5

Monday 9

BAMAKO (PG) 1.30, 6.30 DAYS OF GLORY (12A) 4.00, 9.00

DAYS OF GLORY (12A) 2.00, 6.30 LIGHTS IN THE DUSK (PG) 4.30, 9.00

DAYS OF GLORY (12A) 6.30 LIGHTS IN THE DUSK (PG) 4.15, 9.00

Friday 6 DAYS OF GLORY (12A) 1.45, 6.30 LIGHTS IN THE DUSK (PG) 4.15, 9.00 LATE SHOW: THE FOUNTAIN (12A) 11.00pm

PLEASE CHECK WITH CINEMA BEFORE TRAVELLING

www.cineworld.co.uk

01273 818094 Tuesday 3

Thursday 5

300 (15) 12.30, 3.10, 6.10, 9.00 BECOMING JANE (PG) 8.30 HOT FUZZ (15) 8.40 I WANT CANDY (15) 7.20, 9.40 MEET THE ROBINSONS (U) 11.10, 1.30, 3.50, 6.05 MR BEAN’S HOLIDAY (PG) 11.00, 12.10, 1.20, 2.30, 3.40, 4.50, 6.00, 7.10, 8.20, 9.30 NORBIT (12A) 11.30, 1.50, 4.10, 6.30 PREMONITION (12A) 8.50 TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES (PG) 11.20, 1.15, 3.20, 5.20 THE HILLS HAVE EYES 2 (18) 12.20, 2.40, 4.55, 7.05, 9.20 THE LAST MIMZY (PG) 11.50, 2.10, 4.20, 6.40

300 (15) 12.30, 3.10, 6.10, 9.00 BECOMING JANE (PG) 8.30 I WANT CANDY (15) 7.20, 9.40 MEET THE ROBINSONS (U) 11.10, 1.30, 3.50, 6.05 MR BEAN’S HOLIDAY (PG) 11.00, 12.10, 1.20, 2.30, 3.40, 4.50, 6.00, 7.10, 8.20, 9.30 NORBIT (12A) 11.30, 1.50 PREMONITION (12A) 8.50 SUNSHINE (15) 11.30, 2.00, 4.30, 7.00, 9.30 TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES (PG) 11.20, 1.15, 3.20, 5.20 THE HILLS HAVE EYES 2 (18) 4.55, 7.05, 9.20 THE LAST MIMZY (PG) 11.50, 2.10, 4.20, 6.40

Wednesday 4

300 (15) I WANT CANDY (15) MEET THE ROBINSONS (U) MR. BEAN’S HOLIDAY (PG) PREMONITION (12A) SUNSHINE (15) TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES (PG) THE HILLS HAVE EYES 2 (18) THE LAST MIMZY (PG)

Worthing Cinema

01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk please call for times and details

Tues 3-9 MEET THE ROBINSONS (U)

30 latest 7

Films showing Friday 6–Monday 9

PLEASE CHECK WITH CINEMA BEFORE TRAVELLING

Also showing... A quick look at all this week’s releases 300 (15) Dir: Zack Snyder Based on Frank Miller’s graphic comic, 300 concerns the 480 BC Battle of Thermopylae in which 300 Spartans fought against a 100,000 strong Persian army. Pure cinematic, pixelated, homoeroticism. Daft but brilliantly flashy. (3/5) Showing at Cineworld and Odeon Amazing Grace (PG) Dir: Michael Apted This odd little film follows the political revisionist William Wilberforce as he works his way through parliament in 18th century England endeavouring to end slavery in the empire. A worthy subject given the recent 200 years anniversary but the film suffers under the moral weight of its subject matter. (2/5) Showing at Odeon Asterix and the Vikings (U) Dir: Stefan Fjeldmark and Jesper Møller The Goscinny and Uderzo comic book characters get another big screen animated outing as they battle the Viking hordes with the aid of their magic potion. Not a perfect instalment by any means but the gallic charm and colloquial wit throughout leave a warm and enjoyable aftertaste. (3/5) Showing at Duke of York’s Bamako (PG) Dir: Abderrahmane Sissako This brave and inventive film is the latest from Heremakono director Sissako. With a clever courtroom conceit involving the trial of the World Bank and the IMF, this is a distinct and bold achievement that attempts to examine the excessive and often unfair degree of poverty that Africa suffers at the hands of the west. One for all you strokey-beard types for sure but an important film for everyone nonetheless. (4/5) Showing at Duke of York’s Becoming Jane (PG) Dir: Julian Jarrold An oddly saccharine biopic of Jane Austen that chooses to focus on her youth just prior to her literary fame. Anne Hathaway, last seen as the “fat girl” in The Devil Wears Prada, attempts an admirable accent as Austen but is far too earnest. Thankfully the always likable James McAvoy pops up to add a touch of credibility as does Dame Maggie Smith in full matriarchal mode. The script, littered with cloying melodrama, fails to do justice to the subject at hand. (2/5) Showing at Cineworld Days Of Glory (12A) Dir: Rachid Bouchareb Excellent WWII drama focusing on Algerian soldiers fighting for France. The male cast collectively won the Best Actor award at Cannes recently and the depth of performances throughout is admirable if not always electrifying. (4/5) Showing at Dukes of York’s Hot Fuzz (15) Dir: Edgar Wright Superb offering from the Shaun of the Dead crew. This time it’s the turn of the local bobby to get the comic actioner treatment. The cream of British comedy cram themselves into the picture with everyone from Steve Coogan, Bill Nighy, Martin Freeman, Timothy Dalton and Edward Woodward working their magic. The last half hour may falter and the joke does admittedly run dry by the final act but this is still a cut above the usual comic fare. (4/5) Showing at Cineworld and Odeon I Want Candy (15) Dir: Stephen Surjik This shameless dirge of a film follows two

lads from Leatherhead as they struggle to get funding for their feature film. Unfortunately the only funding they can find is from a porn boss. As a result Carmen Electra saddles up with her prosthetic charms and not much else as the film slowly slips into an artistic coma. Movies like this are the reason that the British Film Industry is perpetually on its knees begging for scraps in the global market. (1/5) Showing at Cineworld Norbit (12A) Dir: Brian Robbins This mad, chaotic and often excruciating comic farce stars Eddie Murphy in three roles. Coming off like Big Momma’s House with less laughs, this is frothy cinematic slush. This kind of bile was perhaps the deciding factor on why Murphy deserved not to win at the recent Oscars for his role in Dreamgirls. (2/5) Showing at Cineworld and Odeon Premonition (12A) Dir: Mennan Yapo Sandra Bullock stars in this mildly diverting tale of a woman who foresees the death of her husband and is in a race to prevent the inevitable. Painfully dull and extremely sour, this is surely another nail in the coffin of Bullock’s career. (2/5) Showing at Cineworld and Odeon The Fountain (12A) Dir: Darren Aronofsky This flawed but stunning existential epic has been in and out of production hell for close to five years now. Spanning over one thousand years, The Fountain is a story of love, death, spirituality, and the fragility of human existence. Hugh Jackman and Rachel Weisz star in this polymath puzzle of a film. (3/5) Showing at Duke of York’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (PG) Dir: Kevin Munroe The heroes in a halfshell return to our screens in this animated feature-length adventure. There’s no Shredder, Rocksteady or Bebop but there is Patrick Stewart as a tech-industrialist crime lord and a host of neolithic monsters intent on global destruction. A fun but frothy addition to the TMNT canon. (2/5) Showing at Cineworld and Odeon The Hills Have Eyes 2 (18) Dir: Martin Weisz This unnecessary sequel to Alexandre Aja’s remake of the 1977 film, written by Wes Craven, is a bloated and deathly slick exercise in modern horror. Devoid of the wit of the Scream trilogy this is a cheap and nasty thrill manufactured explicitly to squeeze every last dollar out of the teenage market. Avoid if you can and rent out Suspira instead. (2/5) Showing at Cineworld and Odeon The Last Mimzy (PG) Dir: Robert Shay Two siblings begin to develop special talents after they find a mysterious box of toys. Soon the kids, their parents, and even their teacher are drawn into an often terrifying but always cute world. Joely Richardson stars in this sweet but slightly over-bearing film. (2/5) Showing at Cineworld The Nativity Story (PG) Dir: Catherine Hardwicke A stock example of the nativity story getting a slightly bigger budget and slightly more skilled cinematographer. Mary and Joseph journey to Bethlehem as the Christmas story of Jesus and Christianity slowly unravels. Irksome but effective viewing. (2/5) Showing at Odeon

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FILM

L7 lowdown Hollywood report New releases reviewed

Lights In The Dusk (PG)

7 Selects

Director Aki Kaurismäki The predictably rewarding final instalment of Kaurismäki’s Loser Trilogy follows his previous themes of unemployment and homelessness with that of loneliness. Shy night watchman Koistinen is virtually ostracised by his fellow security guards and lives alone in a modest apartment until he meets Mirja. This delightfully cautionary fable charts a descent into an unforeseen nightmare of deceit and violence with a low-key blend of humane compassion and deadpan mordant humour. This subtle but tough film glows with a strong sense of hope and compassion. Craig Driver Showing at Duke Of York’s

Old Joy (15)

Meet The Robinsons (U)

Director Stephen Anderson More animated frolics in the latest from Disney. Lewis is a brilliant inventor with a surprising number of clever inventions to his credit. His latest and most ambitious project is the Memory Scanner, a machine that will help him find his birth mother. When his invention is stolen he must travel back in time to save the world and his own fate. The animation is slick, only this time it’s mercifully devoid of the excessive colour and styling seen in Shark’s Tale. Not the complete article by a long way, this remains a film with a cheeky wink and a glitzy grin. Showing at Cineworld, Odeon and Worthing Cinema

Mr Bean’s Holiday (PG)

Director Steve Bendelack Mr Bean returns with his goofy ways, but not for long as he goes on his travels to the south of France. While on holiday mishap and mayhem ensue as Bean ends up having his video diaries screened at the exclusive Cannes Film Festival. Rowan Atkinson can manage this kind of comic farce in his sleep but he still manages to squeeze the odd laugh from a script best described as conventional. Willem Dafoe adds a touch of the macabre to proceedings but ultimately this is Atkinson’s show and he delivers with (slapstick) style. Showing at Cineworld and Odeon

Director Kelly Reichardt This subtle and often whimsical film tells the story of two old school friends, Kurt (played effortlessly by folk maestro Will Oldham) and Mark (Daniel London), who reunite for a weekend camping trip in the Cascade mountains in Oregon. With a soft but purposeful soundtrack and superbly understated performances from both of the leads, this is a film that gradually works its way into your heart. With a very deft examination of Bush-era America this is an honest and good film. Showing at Duke Of York’s

Sunshine (15)

Director Danny Boyle Set 50 years into the future, this SciFi epic sees Danny Boyle ressurect a genre that hasn’t been at full strength since the heady days of Aliens. Set in a world where the sun is beginning to die, and earth is dying as a result, the film sees a crew of astronauts sent on a mission to revive the sun and save the world. With more of a focus on poise and wit than cheap shock values this is a subtle but rewarding experience. Michelle Yeoh gives a startling performance as does Cillian Murphy and a rejuvenated Chris Evans fresh from Fantastic Four shenanigans. With exceptional production values and effects throughout, this is a film with a nerve of steel and a prescient global warming sentiment. Showing at Cineworld and Odeon

Garth Twa reports back from Hollywood, on the set of his new film Dolores, as it premieres in sunny LA

I landed in LA with the intention of making a movie. I had 20 days, a 30page script. No locations, no permits, no props, no costumes, no cast. No phone, and just a friend’s couch to sleep on. If someone had told me the same thing, I’d have told them to go to rehab. Jetlagged the first morning, I called a casting agent who sent me emails of headshots. Before I had a chance to get a soy latte and a locarb muffin from Whole Foods, I had actors banging on the door. They are an eager bunch, LA actors. I was looking for an inept gone-to-seed type to play the lead – an inept gone-to-seed detective. Unfortunately, it’s hard to find that type. There is no shortage of Xena extras or Baywatch lifeguards, but few normal gone-to-seed people. In between the muscled and eager auditioning waiters, I ran out to Hollywood Toys to look for props. I had no time to waste. Within minutes I found a rubber severed ear, a dead bird, and two severed fingers which I melted together into a V shape on the top of my friend’s gas range. Nearby was a news stand where I managed to find a copy of Knives magazine and True Detective. The man at the counter said: “Should I be taking your picture before you go?” I quickly ran to Target to buy some pink panties (also a prop – honestly). Along with the panties I bought some Hershey’s chocolate syrup and cigarettes. And some dental floss. The cashier looked up nervously to the security guard. He unfastened his holster. I called some excellent actors I’d used before – Mink Stole (of John Waters fame) and John Fleck (who’d been in, for instance, Waterworld and Falling Down, and had been denounced on the floor of the US Senate as being a performance artist ‘too dirty to fund’), and within three days I had found my demented receptionist, my lurid widow, my surly office manager, and my detective’s sidekick – but still no detective. On Sunday we shot the Riverwalkers scene at the LA River. By 11am the temperature was 104 degrees. By the eighth run-through of the Riverwalkers march, the eager extras were getting testy. I was a little worried, as I had no permits or insurance, and not only were we shooting in LA County, but we were shooting on Parks land, which have their own stormtroopers. Only once did I panic, when a police helicopter flew overhead and then turned around and hovered – but we were in luck and didn’t get busted. For the part of Mrs Fletcher, a woman who’d had a bacterial face-lift that had drastically gone wrong, I wanted Susan Tyrrell, a notoriously unpredictable actress, nominated for an Oscar for Fat City, directed by John Huston, but who’d recently lost both legs to diabetes. I knew she loved playing odd characters, if not outright freaks. To my great joy she accepted. As I was leaving her house she asked me, “Do I have to wear my legs for this?” “No”, I said, “you could do it from your chair.” “Great,” she replied, “that way you can pull back so you can see my stumps!” As we filmed her, I looked at the scene. There was a hulking director of photography, bearing down on her. Two hulking actors, facing her. A hulking boom man, hanging over her. Grips with huge reflectors pointed at her. In the middle of this was Susan, maybe 70 tiny pounds of her, no legs, head wrapped in bandages, big Jackie O sunglasses, rasping: “And they were eating me… eating me… eating me…” I suddenly felt like some creepy exploitation pornographer. What was supposed to be a comedy was turning into a surrealist horror movie. When we’d wrapped, Susan headed up the ramp to her house, overgrown with greenery, the huge fronds slapping her face. “My last pict-CHA!” she said as she wheeled herself up and the leaves closed behind her. Back in Brighton, the editor, the composers and the sound mixer have been busy over the past few months completing the post-production. The premiere will be at the end of this month at Sony Pictures in Los Angeles. The British premiere will be in mid-April. Dolores will receive its very own Brighton premiere in mid-April Susan Tyrrell on the set of Dolores

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MUSIC

THE BIG GIG

THIS WEEK Frank Turner Bahrain-born, Frank is best known for playing with Million Dead, a relatively successful ‘underground’ punk band who released two albums, and toured constantly. Following their dissolution, he started playing solo shows, digging out old material and writing newer stuff that is folkier and countrier in tone, but still with a hard edge. New album Sleep Is For The Week was released earlier in the year. Wednesday 4 April, The Globe, Brighton, 01273 325440 (Rounder Records)

Heidi Talbot

McFly A phenomenon of fandom that has transcended record companies’ marketing machinations. The kids just adore these pop rockers… 30 April, Brighton Dome, 01273 709709

Latest 7’s Top 5 records Maximo Park Our Earthly Pleasures (album Warp) Literate, sophisticated and driving indie gods who embed some seriously good melodies and thoughtful lyrics within their rounded, universally appealing sound. Led by Paul Smith, the band were initially an avante-garde outfit named after Maximo Gomez Park in Havana where Cuban revolutionaries would hang out. Over time, the band have developed their own revolutionary take on the post-punk sounds that have come to dominate the indie landscape since the early 2000s.

The Bees Octopus (album Virgin) Back with some more analogue heavy, reverb-drenched densely constructed bails of country roots rock hay. Although lacking the pop immediacy of their last album, this still pleasantly canters along.

Po’ Girl Home To You (album Diesel Motor Records) Brilliant rootsy alt-country album from the all-girl Vancouver band who include a Be Good Tanya in their ranks. Sounds like it comes from a bygone era, but still utterly contemporary.

Alison Krauss, Kirsty MacColl, Norah Jones, Eddi Reader and Mary Black are just some of the names that Heidi Talbot has been compared to. But in truth, this singer from Ireland has a sound all her own, a voice developed via the church choir and on the streets, busking. Now fronting one of the world’s premier Celtic ensembles, Cherish The Ladies, she also performs regularly with folk groups throughout Ireland and Europe. Her own material is poised at the intersection of Irish and American folk tradition, blending traditional material with original songs. Her debut album Distant Future resonates with the power of tradition while fearlessly adapting contemporary influences, and her smooth, lilting voice is matched with a musical intelligence and charisma, all helped along by a stellar cast of musicians from both sides of the pond including the wonderful Boo Hewerdine, who joins her on this visit to the Greys. Monday 9 April, The Greys, Brighton, 01273 680734

Laura Marling Only 16 years of age, her sophisticated teenage musings, dry wit and caustic put downs are like a more kitchen-sink Lily Allen or Martha Wainwright. Her songs are mini blasts of street poetry, helped along by an off-beat songcraft. Already she has supported Jamie T and contributed vocals to ‘Suspicious Eyes’ on the recent Rakes album. Virgin records have snapped her up and things are moving very swiftly for this youngster. However, let’s not get too carried away by another so-called young turk – within the stifling heat and expectancy of the media some space to develop and grow must be allowed. Otherwise, we may have a bunch of prematurely burnt-out musicians on our hands! Friday 6 April, Red Roaster, Brighton, 01273 686668

Cowboy Junkies At The End Of Paths Taken (album Cooking Vinyl) Dark and often atmospheric country-blues rock outing for this veteran Canadian downbeat outfit. Still playing it raw and organic, they continue to enjoy cult status.

Grant-Lee Phillips Strangelet (album Cooking Vinyl) Laid-back alt-rolk and acoustica that coasts along pleasantly enough without demanding too much of the listener. There’s a bit of the reverbdrenched Bolan in among the intimate and generally sparse production.

Hayseed Dixie A rather more trendy cover band than most, these fictional characters straight outta Deer Lick Holler in the Appalachian mountains thought it would be a good idea to marry heavy metal beats and rhythms with the sound of bluegrass. So expect to hear country renditions of AC/DC, Queen and Aerosmith songs plus original tunes from their recent Weapons of Grass Destruction album. Monday 9 April, Komedia, Brighton, 01273 647100

For music listings see our day-to-day guide starting on page 43 32 latest 7

If you would like your event listed please email listings@thelatest.co.uk

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MUSIC

BRIGHTON SCENE

THE MONTH AHEAD

A weekly round-up of what’s happening in the local Brighton and Sussex music scene Three years ago Chungking Jesse of (Thurs 5 April, Komedia) were Chungking on the verge of commercial success with their gorgeous psychedelic soul album The Hungry Years. It didn’t quite turn out to plan though and there has been a long threeyear period while the band regrouped and decided to take a new direction. The result is the forthcoming Stay Up Forever which, while retaining elements of the ‘old’ sound, is much more of a gothic electro pop adventure with a modern new-wave twist. Also on the bill is the ghostly charms of indie pop singer Lisa LindleyJones, and the psychedelic pop of Zan Pan. This is Boogaloo Stu and friends another of those musically eclectic and upbeat They Can And They Will club affairs, which feature comperes, film and visuals and DJs. All proceeds go to the very worthy Medecins sans Frontieres, which sets up essential and often life-saving medical services in regions of conflict around the globe. Veteran of the alternative indie pop scene, Boogaloo Stu Electric Soft Parade is still hosting Dynamite Boogaloo, the long-running Brighton institution of all things thrashy, poptastic and indie-laden. And as well as hosting a weekly show on Juice 107.2, he continues to make and release records of his own. Cavalcade of Pop (every Sunday, Po Na Na) is another of his nights, run weekly at the close-to-theedge of good taste North African themed Po Na Na, and every week there is a live band. He’s roping in a load of interesting, cutting-edge acts from around the country – this week it’s the turn of Brighton electro art rockers Miss Pain. Future guests include Dead Disco, Arthur and Martha and Stars of Aviation. Good to see Electric Soft Parade back in action with a new single ‘If That’s The Case, Then I Don’t Know’, with their first album in four years No Need To Be Downhearted released soon after. Managing to re-invent themselves once again, their ear for a pop melody within the big and strident guitar/synth workouts comes through once again. Finally, a date for your diaries – Brighton Live ‘07 will take place 24-29 September. Applications from bands, artists and promoters are being accepted from 1 April, and you can apply via www.brightonlive.net Send your music and news to Jeff Hemmings, Music Editor, Latest 7, Unit 1, Level 5, New England House, New England Street, Brighton BN1 4GH. Listen to Jeff and Megan Goodwin on Latest 7 on the Radio, Mon–Thu, 10pm–midnight, Juice 107.2FM or via www.latest7.co.uk/podcasts. Read and reply to his blog: www.latest7.co.uk/blogs

latest 7 on the radio Tune into Radio Reverb 97.2FM Mon-Fri, 4-6pm, for the latest music, art, culture, politics, community and entertainment news, with Jeff Hemmings and guests.

If you would like your event listed please email listings@thelatest.co.uk

Dub Pistols Barry Ashworth and Jason O’Bryan have spent the best part of a decade at the forefront of ‘beats’ culture via their Dub Pistols vehicle. Adding a rock ’n’ roll swagger to the UK dance scene, they chew up hip hop, dub, techno, ska and punk, spitting out a renegade futuristic skank that has seen them operate on the periphery of the ‘dance’ scene, while at the same time helping them to outlive many of their contemporaries who have not been able to incorporate a ‘live’ element into their shows. Their genre-mashing style has helped to land remix work for the likes of Moby, Limp Bizkit, Bono, Korn and Ian Brown. And on both record and stage they call on the services of vocalists such as Rodney P, Terry Hall (Specials, Fun Boy Three) and American rapper TK. Their third album, Speakers and Tweeters, has just been released on Rob da Bank’s Sunday Best label. Wed 11 April, Komedia, Brighton, 01273 647100

Midlake The Texas band Midlake have been compared to everyone from The Flaming Lips and Radiohead, to The Beatles. Their sound is consistently accessible but unpredictably inventive – a rare mix, and one that usually proves commercially rewarding. Last year’s massively acclaimed The Trials of Van Occupanther was an organic sounding and lo-fi 1970s folk-rock album, with the synths of old giving way to acoustic guitars and pianos, and a noticeably hazy psychedelic undercurrent. One notable fan of the band is skateboarding legend turned actor, Jason Lee who directed a video for their single, ‘Balloon Maker’. They are just so good that they have crept up rather quietly into the public consciousness without much marketing or fanfare. Thurs 12 April, Concorde 2, 01273 673311

NOWBOOKING The Horrors 11 Apr, Concorde 2 Terry Callier 12 Apr, Komedia Cutting Crew 12 Apr, Komedia Midlake 12 Apr, Concorde 2 Sugababes 12 Apr, Brighton Centre The Osmonds, David Essex, David Cassidy, 13 April, Brighton Centre The Beat 13 Apr, Concorde 2 Loudon Wainwright III 14 Apr, Dome James Taylor 18 Apr, Brighton Dome The Skatalites 22 Apr, Komedia The Waterboys 22 Apr, Brighton Dome Miss Dynamite 27 Apr, Beach The Church 28 Apr, Concorde 2 One Night of Queen 28 Apr, Brighton Centre Deep Purple 29 Apr, Brighton Centre Australian Pink Floyd 30 Apr, B’ton Centre Jason Donovan 1 May, Brighton Dome Chris Difford 8 May, Komedia

The loveGods 10 May, Komedia Shooglenifty 11 May, Komedia The Great Escape 17-19 May, various venues in Brighton, www.escapegreat.com Willy Mason 18 May, Pavilion Theatre Tom McRae 20 May, Concorde 2 Ray Davies 26 May, Brighton Centre G4 24 May, Brighton Centre Girls Aloud 29 May, Brighton Centre Pet Shops Boys 30 May, Brighton Centre Manic Street Preachers 6 June, B’ton Dome Allen Toussaint 15 June, Brighton Dome INXS 17 June, Brighton Dome Ronan Keating 21 June, Stanmer Park Blackmore’s Night 23 June, Brighton Dome Jools Holland & Lulu 23 June, Borde Hill Garden, Haywards Heath Royal Philharmonic 24 June, Stanmer Park Don McLean 23 Oct, Brighton Centre

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BARS &CLUBS

THIS WEEK AND THE MONTH AHEAD The Last Weekend @ Sumo Sumo is about to be no more. The late night drinker’s venue of choice famed for its mirrored walls (into which munted punters have walked into more than once) and debauched after-parties is soon to slide into the annals of boozing history. Never one to go gentle into the dark night they’ve rallied the troops for one last weekend bender with the action starting on Thursday evening and pretty much carrying on until the finale on Easter Sunday with an ‘epic blow out’ promised. Sumo, 9–12 Middle St, Thur-Sun, 5–8 April, various prices.

Pussycat Club @ the Zap Prepare for divine decadence Pussycat-style as the Zap hosts another legendary night where Brighton’s great and good (plus a few wrong ‘uns) get to play dress-up to some scorching funky house and dirty electro. This time around it’s a Playboy theme, which means beautiful bunny girls fraternising with femmes fatale and the odd Hugh Hefner lurking in the shadows with a cocktail for company. Make sure you make an effort to guarantee getting into one of the parties of the weekend. 187–193 King’s Road Arches, 7 April, 10.30pm–5am, £12/£10

Etch @ Concorde2 Meanwhile over at the Concorde 2 it’s more likely to be beanie hats than blonde wigs as Etch invites Trouser Jazz dynamo Mr Scruff down for another turn behind the decks. Expect, well, the unexpected with everything from party-starting breaks to thrift shop film soundtracks chucked in for good measure and brewed up like a particularly fine cup of tea. Mmm, lovely. Madeira Drive, 6 April, 10pm–3am, £8/£7

Wild Fruit @ Creation Where would we be without Wild Fruit to put a proper peak on our Bank Holiday? With three rooms to get stuck into (and a cunning Ugly Betty fancy dress theme) you’ve not got work on Monday so there’s absolutely no excuse to not get ugly/beautiful and attend. Music comes from crack remix team the Freemasons, plus the ever-reliable residents. 78 West Street, 8 April, 10pm–3am, £12/£10/£9/£8

★Latest 7 gets well fed at the Railway Hotel Sitting proudly opposite London Road Station is the Railway, a beacon of warmth for the weary traveller. A traditional British boozer amid the trendy hostelries of Brighton, the Railway is the perfect place to watch football or for a game of pool. And you are always guaranteed a warm welcome from Pascal, the affable Irish manager. After a recent face-lift, the interior is bright and airy, but still retains its traditional charm. Beneath the intricate Victorian joinery and ornate coving is the ideal place for a laid-back drink with friends. For students it is worth noting there is free pool between noon and 6pm everyday and all day Sunday for everyone else. And there is the rare sight of a dart board too. All major sporting events (and some minor) are shown on its giant TV screen. If the athleticism of pub sports isn’t for you, you can retire to the saloon bar for a civilised chat, or as summer approaches soak up the sun in the beautiful beer garden. The Railway also serves quite possibly the largest Sunday roast in Brighton. But the generosity of the portions isn’t compromised by the quality. A really tasty, reasonably priced Sunday lunch, piled high on the plate – lovely. Good food, good atmosphere, good craic; come for a pint with Pascal at the Railway. Gene Larstrøm The Railway is at 76/78 Ditchling Rise, Brighton, BNI 4QQ, 01273 689783

LATE NIGHT BARS

It’s past midnight, you’re still thirsty, but don’t want to go clubbing; here’s our guide to after-hours drinking Above Audio 10 Marine Parade, Brighton, 01273 606906 Sun–Thu, until 1am, Fri–Sat, until 2am Aqua Bar 23 Waterfront, Brighton Marina, 01273 819800, Sun–Thu, 11am–12am, Fri–Sat, 11am–2am Arc Bar 160 King’s Road Arches, Brighton, 01273 770505, Mon–Sun, until 2am Cosmopolitan Bar The Cosmopolitan Hotel, 29-31 New Steine, Marine Parade, Brighton, Mon–Thu, 4pm–12am, Fri 4pm–2am, Sat 3pm–2am, Sun 12pm–11.30pm Earth and Stars 46 Windsor Street, Brighton, 01273 722879, Sun–Thu, until 1am, Fri–Sat, til 2am The Fiddler’s Elbow 11 Boyce’s Street,Brighton, 01273 325850, Sun–Thu, until 2am, Fri–Sat, until 3am Fish Bowl 74 East Street, Brighton, 01273 777505, Sun–Wed, until 2am, Thu–Sat, until 3am The Freebutt 1 Phoenix Place, Brighton, 01273 603974, Sun–Thu, until 12am, Fri–Sat, until 1am The Globe 78 Middle Street, Brighton, 01273 770685, Sun–Wed, until 2am, Thu–Sat, until 3am Grand Central 29-30 Surrey Street, Brighton, 01273 329086, Sun–Wed, until 12am, Thu–Sat, until 2am The Hope 11-12 Queen’s Road, Brighton, 01273 325793, Sun–Wed, until 12am, Thu–Sat, until 2am

The Joogleberry 14-17 Manchester Street, Brighton, 01273 687171, Mon–Sat, 11am–1am, Sunday until 12am Koba 135 Western Road, Brighton, 01273 720059, www.kobauk.com. Mon–Thu, until 5am, 24 hours over the weekend. Rehab Bar Waterfront, Brighton Marina, 01273 675007, Sun–Thu, until 12am Riki Tik 18A Bond Street, Brighton, 01273 683844, until 3.30am Fri and Sat Saqqara 158 North Street, Brighton, 01273 779701, until 2am Sidewinder 65 St James’s Street, Brighton, 01273 608571, Sun–Thu, until 1am, Fri–Sat, until 2am St. Christopher’s The Palace Hotel, 10–12 Grand Junction Road, Brighton, 01273 202035, open until 2am Vanilla 73A Western Road, Hove, 01273 748182, Tue–Thu, 5.30pm–1.30am, Fri–Sat, 5pm–2.30am, Sun 12pm–1am, closed Mondays Western Front 11 Cranbourne Street, Brighton, 01273 725656, Sun–Wed, until 2am, Thu–Sat, until 3am Zoot Street Bar 8 Queen’s Road, Brighton, 087 1223 5776, Sun–Wed, 5pm–11pm, Thu–Sat, 5pm–1pm

For bar/club listings see our day-to-day guide starting on page 43 latest 7 35

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GAY It’s 3SIXTY’s birthday!

CHOICE

We’re oh-so excited this month, as 3SIXTY is celebrating its fifth birthday. The April issue of the magazine is jampacked full of birthday messages as well as the usual mix of news, events, listings and fun stuff. We’ve even had a little redesign to mark the occasion. Pick up your copy today!

Tue 3 Apr Revenge 10.30pm–3am. Student night. NUS free all night/ others free before 11pm, then £3. Drinks from £1.50.

Wed 4 Apr Queen’s Arms 2:30pm–11:30pm. Marc and Antonio’s birthday bash! Cabaret with rose garden and Raychel Harvey Jones – 9pm. Theme: chavz! Everybody welcome.

Thu 5 Apr

News Therapists back at work

How to do Pride better

Complementary therapists who used to work at Brighton Body Positive (BBP) are keen to make contact with the community following BBP’s closure. Some of the therapists are now working in new premises and want any clients who are no longer accessing their help to get back in touch. They say that one of the challenges has been keeping contact with former clients as BBP’s offices were “locked down” when the organisation went into liquidation. The therapists can be contacted by calling them directly: Sonia Campos, reflexology – 07929 493488 Julie Decarroux, shiatsu – 07845 804015 Heiner Eisenbarth, cranio sacral therapy – 07833 926518 Steve Lane, massage therapy – 07731 549836

Brighton Pride is holding another ‘How To’ event in April. Pick up useful tips and advice on how to run a stall, build a float or stage an event. Application forms will be available together with other useful stuff. Monday 30 April, 6pm, Friends Meeting House, Ship Street, Brighton

Pubs & bars

Amsterdam, 11 Marine Parade Bar, hotel, sauna and popular summer terrace. Food available every day. 01273 688825 www.amsterdam.uk.com Aquarium, 6 Steine Street Traditional backstreet boozer. 01273 605525 www.pleisure.com Barley Mow, 92 St George’s Road Mixed and friendly local in Kemp Town serving good food. Nice outside terrace too. 01273 682259 Brighton Rocks, 6 Rock Place Fabulous, stylish bar and restaurant with outside decking. 01273 601139 Bulldog, 31 St James’s Street Landmark gay pub for 25 years. Entertainment, happy hours. 01273 694097 www.bulldogbrighton.com Charles Street, 8 Marine Parade Huge swish café-bar serving food, has outside terrace, till 3am Fri/Sat. 01273 624091 www.charlesstreetbar.com Doctor Brighton’s 16–17 Kings Road Popular pub with huge vodka selection. 01273 328765 www.pleisure.com Fountain Inn High Street, Handcross Gay oasis in the countryside near Gatwick and very popular. 01444 400218 www.fountainpub.co.uk Jack Horner, 80 High Street, Worthing Worthing’s only gay pub. Some themed nights. 01903 236427

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Legends Bar Dance and Hotel 31-34 Marine Parade Recently re-opened after a multi-million refit. Marine Tavern, 13 Broad Street Cosy, traditional and friendly boozer with real beer. 01273 681284 www.harlequin-brighton.co.uk Marlborough, 4 Princes Street Large pub popular with the girls, with a great theatre upstairs. 01273 570028 www.marlboroughtheatre.co.uk PV, 22 Upper North Street Great mixed pub with cool interior and regular live music. 01273 325491 www.thepv.co.uk Queen’s Arms, 7 George Street Opens 3pm every day with top cabaret and entertainment every night. 01273 696873 www.queensarmsbrighton.com R-Bar, 7 Marine Parade Open till 2am, Sun–Thu; 24 hours, Fri–Sun. 01273 608133 www.revenge.co.uk Revue Bar, 19 New Steine A stylish compact bar with a really friendly atmosphere. 01273 607456 Star Inn, 5–9 Manchester Street Menus every day, Sunday roasts. Live big screen sports. 01273 601450 www.starinnbrighton.com Vavoom, 31 Old Steine Video bar, right next door to Revenge. 01273 603010 www.vavoom.co.uk White Horse, 30 Camelford Street Friendly mixed local. 01273 603726 The Zone, 33 St James’s Street New men’s bar that’s just

Mayor marks official porn day The Mayor of San Francisco officially honoured the 40th birthday of gay porn studio Colt last month. Mayor Gavin Newsom designated a Friday in March as ‘Colt Studio Day’. Conservatives are ridiculing the idea that San Fran has a recognised ‘gay porn day’.

opened, promising something a bit different for Brighton’s boys. 01273 626442

Clubs

Audio Hosts Sunday Sundae 10 Marine Parade Weekly chillout with occasional specials and drink promos. 01273 606906 Candy Bar, 129 St James’s Street UK’s only lesbian nightclub, till 3am, Fri/Sat. 01273 622424 www.thecandybar.co.uk Charles St Club, 8 Marine Parade Sleek club above Charles Street Bar, nightly promoters. 10pm–2am, 01273 624091 Harlequin, 43 Providence Place Bar/nightclub, cabaret/stripper, Fri/Sat nights. 9pm–4am, Fri/Sat. 01273 620630 www.harlequin-brighton.co.uk Monkey, Brighton Gloucester, 27 Gloucester Place Every Saturday night. www.wildfruit.co.uk 01273 688011 Revenge, 32 Old Steine Huge two-floor club. 10pm-3am, Sun–Thu till 5am Fri/Sat till 6am www.revenge.co.uk Therapy @ Rehab Waterfront, Brighton Marina A weekly gay night at Brighton marina. Every Friday. A lovely stylish big bar! V2, 5 Steine Street Open every night from 8pm till late. 01273 603010 Wildfruit, Creation, 78 West Street Usually once a month with themed nights. One for your calendar! www.wildfruit.co.uk

Charles Street Club 10.30pm–3am. Religion hosted by Mother Superior Joan Bond with DJs Richard Jones and Tony B on the decks. £4/£3 flyer. £2 drinks promos.

Fri 6 Apr Vavoom Open till 6am. Bar boyz.

promos till 6pm and when certain tracks play. Dance music videos all night.

Sat 7 Apr The Gloucester 10.30pm–4am Monkey – Brighton’s favourite DJs playing some top tunes. NUS £5 all night, others £5 before 11pm/£7 before midnight/£9 after. Drinks promos.

Sun 8 Apr Star Inn Noon–11pm. Sunday lunches till 4pm then bears’ beer bash with charity raffle and big bears buffet.

Mon 9 Apr Marlborough 12pm–12am. Games social night from 6pm. Games, pool and tunes.

3SIXTY is Brighton’s brightest monthly gay magazine with news, interviews, features and listings for the gay scene around Brighton and Hove. April’s edition is out now. Pick up your free copy across the city. You can also now download a full issue at www.3sixtymag.co.uk 3SIXTY T: 01273 570570 E: info@3sixtymag.co.uk

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STAGE

Rik legitimised

as the curtain rose it was clear a theatrical treat was in store. Mayall has pulled it off. His performance was (near) word perfect. Not one gag was missed. His timing was excellent and the supporting company were clearly comfortable in their roles, feeding him with gags and opportunities for him to misbehave. Barely ever stepping out of character, Mayall menaced his way through the show, never once resorting to the familiar mugging that he knows will get a laugh when all else fails. That’s not to say that he doesn’t use every device he has to hand. Mayall can milk a moment, a line, a mistake like no other, sometimes by merely flicking his wrist or raising an eyebrow. To see Mayall portraying B’Stard’s dodgy sexual antics and dubious sexual prowess is disturbing, but it has the audience giggling and shivering with embarrassment – and in some cases perhaps self recognition. But the true joy of the honourable member, if you will forgive the innuendo, is that he is utterly shameless. He shows no remorse for any of his actions, indiscretions, lack of respect, swearing at the Queen on the phone, being caught with his flies open or his trousers down, insider dealing, hiring assassins – they are all everyday events in Alan’s world, and although extreme theatrical exaggerations, the writers often relate B’Stard’s to actual events in an alarming and revealing way. Even in the final scene – where the dénouement was almost wrecked by a failure in the mechanics of the staging – he managed to pull it off. Rik Mayall fans will love this; politicos will reel at the incisive script. The New Statesman is back and this time it’s brilliant and he is sensational. B’stard may well live the life his name implies, but he is still a likable cove, a characteristic that Mayall plays beautifully. The New Statesman is at Theatre Royal Brighton, 9–14 April, £16–£27. Call 08700 606650 or see www.theambassadors.com/theatreroyal

Alan B’Stard returns to the stage for an update of last year’s stage appearance of The New Statesman Rik Mayall has to be one of the funniest men in modern entertainment. From the very start of his career, there was an almost unquantifiable brilliance to his performances – an energy, an irreverence, an almost complete lack of self-consciousness that gave him a revolting but lovable edge. There was very little to like in his Young Ones character Rick – naive, gauche, prejudiced and grubby – yet despite that, he won the hearts of millions of regular viewers. It could be said that his work was often fearless. He was certainly unafraid of being shocking, of using violence to gain a laugh. With Ade Edmondson he took the whole concept of slapstick beyond the physical to the point of savagery. Live, there were moments when clearly the two were actually hurting each other. Mayall went on to play many roles but perhaps his best loved was that of ultra-rightwing The Hon Alan Beresford B’Stard in TV’s The New Statesman. It was a natural progression that as he lost his innocent boyish looks and body he would need to seek roles that suited him better. What better then, than the world of politics? Of course, that vein had been richly tapped in Yes Minister. With Mayall at the wheel, it would need to be a very different programme. Writers Laurence Marks and Maurice Gran

certainly provided the right formula. Both committed socialists, what better subject for them than a sleazy, evil and conniving Tory bigot? B’Stard was born. In 2006, in the light of continuing accusations of Labour sleaze and corruption, Marks and Gran revived B’Stard in a new stage version of their lovably evil creation. Of course, times have changed. Labour are now in power and Alan has defected to the New Labour of Tony Blair. For B’Stard, politics is little to do with policy and principles and all to do with power and opportunity. The show opened last year here in Brighton where it was produced by The Ambassador Group’s Brighton flagship, the Theatre Royal. Sadly, and despite a brilliantly funny and topical script, the whole did not work. Mayall, still recovering from his quad bike accident, was having memory problems and was less than word perfect. Of course, the evening was hysterically funny because he merely has to saunter or lope across the stage to have the audience crying with mirth. The lines were lost though which meant Marks’ and Gran’s excellent work was less than well represented. Now it is relaunched in a revised 2007 edition and the first night was held at Wimbledon Theatre, London. A celeb-studded audience gathered for a Red Nose benefit and latest 7 37

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THEATRE LISTINGS

From Tuesday 3 April to Monday 30 April 2007 Dead Funny @ Devonshire Park Theatre, Eastbourne

•Mon 2–Sat 7 Apr, 7.45pm plus Wed and Sat matinees 2.30pm, £18/£16/£13.50 Mon–Thu eves, £19.50/£17.50/£13.50 Fri and Sat eves, £13.50 Wed and Sat matinees Perfect Pitch Fantastic observational comedy about a couple who find the perfect place to pitch their caravan until the neighbours from hell turn up to shatter the peace! •Mon 9–Sat 14 Apr, 7.45pm plus Wed and Sat matinees 2.30pm, £18/£16/£13.50 Mon–Thu eves, £19.50/£17.50/£13.50 Fri and Sat eves, £13.50 Wed and Sat matinees Dead Funny Terry Johnson’s award-winning comedy about relationships and sex therapy. A wife struggles when her husband seems more interested in running the ‘Dead Funny Society’. •Mon 16–Sat 21 Apr, 7.45pm plus Wed and Sat matinees 2.30pm, £18/£16/£13.50 Mon–Thu eves, £19.50/£17.50/£13.50 Fri and Sat eves, £13.50 Wed and Sat matinees The Woman In Black Based on the novel by Susan Hill, about a lawyer who believes there is a curse on him and his family. In an attempt to exorcise the fear, he delves into his darkest memories to a world of eerie marshes, and it’s not long before reality and make-believe blur. •Mon 23–Sat 28 Apr, 7.45pm plus Wed and Sat matinees 2.30pm, £18/£16/£13.50 Mon–Thu eves, £19.50/£17.50/£13.50 Fri and Sat eves, £13.50 Wed and Sat matinees

EASTBOURNE: WINTER GARDEN

BRIGHTON DOME 01273 709709 www.brightondome.org Lucy By Ed Harris Lucy washes up on the island of Britneygrad, to be met by conjoined twins. Ridicule, romance and cannibalism are thrown into the mix – a comic assault on scandal. •Tue 3 Apr, 7.45pm, £7.50/£5.50 Once A Catholic By Mary O’Malley Hilarious comedy of life in a London convent in the 1950s. •Wed 4–Thu 5 Apr, 7.45pm, £7.50/£5.50 Musical In A Week: The Dreamer Music theatre for friends and family of the children who have taken part in this week-long workshop to create today’s performance. •Sat 14 Apr, 3pm, £3 adults/£1 children

THE CAPITOL, HORSHAM 01403 750220 www.thecapitolhorsham.com The Decorator An all-star cast in this hilarious farce. Marcia gets a visit from the wife of who she is having an affair with. The wronged missus wants to spill the beans to Marcia’s husband too, but Marcia has an idea: get the decorator to play her husband so her real hubby is kept in the dark. But it’s never that simple! •Fri 6–Sat 7 April, 8pm, £16/£14 Reelin’ And A Rockin’ Hits to sing along to from the Swingin’ Sixties. •Sat 14 Apr, 7.30pm, £22.50/£21 An Evening With... Julian Clary Leaving the make-up and sequins behind, Julian Clary reveals all in this intimate show, filled with Clary’s wit and charm that has captivated audiences for 20 years. •Sun 15 April, 8pm, £20 Rainbow Live Children’s television favourites Bungle, Zippy and George are back in an all new show, with fun and frolics appealing to all. •Thu 12 Apr, 2pm, £8 Girls’ Night Out Delve into a hen night and discover the saucy goings on and naughty modern views of a group of females. •Tue 17–Sat 24 April, please call for times and prices Get Up And Go Children’s presenter Dave Benson Phillips joins Big Bear, singing songs together in this fantastic show based on the popular children’s video. •Sunday 22 April, please call for times and prices Gormenghast Meet the grotesque characters and mysterious rituals at gothic Gormenghast castle. Unravel a web of secrets along this extraordinary tale of greed, madness and love. •Tue 24–Wed 25 April, please call for times and prices Tosca A tense thriller based around art, love and politics. A political prisoner is hiding out in a church and opera singer Floria Tosca is intent 38 latest 7

on protecting her lover who has some involvement with the prisoner. •Fri 27 Apr, please call for times and price Swing And Sinatra A night of songs from the swing era, with familiar hits from the Rat Pack, Glenn Miller and Ella Fitzgerald. •Sat 28 Apr, please call for times and prices

CHICHESTER FESTIVAL THEATRE 01243 781312 www.cft.org.uk Office Suite A double bill from Alan Bennett on the apparent predictability of life in an office, starring Patricia Routledge. •Thu 12 Apr–Sat 12 May, SOLD OUT The Last Confession The world premiere of this new thriller surrounding one of the most highly guarded institutions: The Vatican. •Fri 27 Apr–Sat 19 May, please call for show times, £32–£10

EASTBOURNE: CONGRESS THEATRE 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Sweet Charity A tender and poignant tale of a girl who wears her heart on her sleeve. Presented by Eastbourne’s Rattonians, this classic New York musical features songs including ‘Hey, Big Spender’. Ticket price includes a free programme and £1 donation to Cancer Research. •Wed 11–Sat 14 Apr, 7.45pm plus 2.30pm matinees Thu and Sat, £14/£12/£10/£8.50 The Goodies Still Rule OK! A laughter-filled evening with clips, sketches and reminiscences from the legendary Goodies. With Tim BrookeTaylor and Graeme Garden live on stage. •Sun 15 Apr, 7.30pm, £19.50/£17.50 Swan Lake On Ice Miss Dancing On Ice already? Don’t miss the Imperial Ice Stars perform to Tchaikovsky’s glorious music in this spectacular skating show. •Tue 17–Sat 21 Apr, 7.30pm, plus Wed, Thu and Sat 2.30pm, £25/£22.50/£20/£18 Tue–Thu eve and Sat mat, £22.50/£20/£18 /£16 Wed & Thu mat, £26.50/£24.50/£22.50 /£20 Fri & Sat eves London Philharmonic Orchestra A stunning concert opening with Mozart’s tremulous overture to Don Giovanni followed by the rhapsodic ‘Piano Concerto’ by Schumann. •Sun 22 Apr, 3.00pm, £27.50/£23/£21/£18/£11

EASTBOURNE: DEVONSHIRE PARK THEATRE 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk September Tide Based on Daphne du Maurier’s classic story about a widow who rejects marriage proposals but finds herself falling for her daughter’s new husband, Evan.

01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk We’ll Meet Again Back by popular demand, singers, comedians and musicians recall great wartime entertainment with the likes of Bing Crosby and Vera Lynn. •Tue 3 Apr, 2.30pm, £11 Rainbow Fish Fun show for children aged 3–7 with song, music and puppetry to create a funny underwater adventure for all the family. •Mon 23 Apr, 1.30pm, £4.50/£4 groups 10+/£2 baby tickets

Rocky Horror Show Following a recordbreaking sell-out in the West End, the Rocky Horror Show returns with its raunchy rock ’n’ roll. Put on the fishnets and stilettos and join Frank and the gang for an unforgettable night. Mon 2–Thu 5 April at 7.45pm, Fri 6–Sat 7 April at 6pm and 9pm, £29.50, £26.50, £23.50, £18 Mon–Thu eve and Sat early; £24/£20 Fri early; £32.50, £29.50, £25.50, £20 Fri and Sat eves The New Statesman Hilarious political and sexual shenanigans in this all-new show starring comedy favourite Rik Mayall. •Mon 9–Sat 14 April, 7.45pm, plus 2.30pm matinee Thu and Sat, £16/£19/£23/£26 Mon–Thu eves and Sat mat, £16/£20 Thu mat, £17/£20/£24/£27 Fri and Sat eves Bargain Black comedy about a man who makes a deal with Mother Teresa of Calcutta, only for his body to be found floating in the Atlantic... •Mon 16–Sat 21 April, 7.45pm, plus 2.30pm matinee Thu and Sat; £16/£19/£23/£25 Mon–Thu eves and Sat mat; £16/£19 Thu mat; £17/£20/£24/£26 Fri and Sat eves Pam Ann Join Pam Ann – A-list air hostess to the stars (including Elton John) in this special one-night show. •Sat 22 April, 7.30pm, £17.50 Kean Passionate and funny theatre based on Robert Kean the greatest romantic actor of the 19th century. •Tue 24–Sat 28 April, 7.45pm plus 2.30pm Thu and Sat, £16/£19/£23/£26 Tue–Thu eve and Sat mat, £16/£20 Thu mat, £17/£20/£24/£27 Fri and Sat eves

THE OLD MARKET, HOVE 01273 736222 www.theoldmarket.co.uk High School Musical The English premiere of the stage version of the popular Disney film. Experience the fun and romance of High School Musical in this live show. •Wed 4–Sat 7 April, 5pm Wed–Sat (Wed sold out) and 7.45pm Fri and Sat, £8/£9.50/£12

THE HAWTH, CRAWLEY

WORTHING: CONNAUGHT THEATRE

01293 553636 www.hawth.co.uk You Don’t Need To Know That Comic mayhem as a man wakes up to find a policeman at the end of his bed. Did he really commit a crime he can’t recall? •Tue 17 Apr, 7.45pm, £9.50/£7.50 The Lesson A charged political piece on how capitalism is following the same pattern as Nazi Fascism, in a country led by capitalist greed and consumer righteousness. •Fri 20 Apr, 7.45, £10.50/£8.50/£7.50

01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk Blood Brothers The hit West End musical comes to Worthing telling the story of twin boys separated at birth who are then reunited by fate and a dark secret kept by their mother. •Tue 3–Sat 14 Apr, 7.30pm, plus 2pm Wed and Sat; £26.50/£28, Mon–Thu eve and Sat matinee; £28/£29.50 Fri–Sat eve; £22.50/£24.50 Wed matinee September Tide Daphne du Maurier’s bestselling book is adapted for the stage. A story of passion and romance, as a widowed woman finds herself falling for her daughter’s new husband. •Tue 17–Sat 21 Apr, 7.30pm, plus 2pm Wed and Sat, please call for prices The Lesson Presented by the Icarus Collective. Exploring the tutor-pupil relationship. When the pupil displeases the tutor we begin to see a different side in this classroom farce and chilling drama. (Note: contains scenes of a violent nature.) •Mon 23 Apr, 7.30pm, £12.50 Coppelia English Youth Ballet present the story of Dr Coppelius whose greatest desire is to bring his beloved doll to life. •Thu 26–Sat 28 Apr, 7.30pm, £14/£16

KOMEDIA, BRIGHTON 01273 647100 www.komedia.co.uk The Little Mermaid Story-tellers Flotsam and Jetsam invite you under the sea to experience the adventures of The Little Mermaid who falls in love with a human prince and desperate, to meet him, casts a deal with the sea witch. Kids show (ages 4+). Sun 22 Apr, 2pm, £6/£5 Cowboy Cabaret Komedia is transformed into a Western saloon in this raunchy burlesque comedy complete with Western gunslingers and live music. •Sat 28 Apr, 7pm, £15/£10 The Elves And The Shoemaker Kids show using magical puppets to tell the story of Elvis Schumacher who creates beautiful footwear but finds people are buying boring shoes from the evil businessman. Can anyone help Elvis? 3+ •Sun 29 Apr, 2pm, £6/£5

MARLBOROUGH THEATRE, BRIGHTON 07782 278521 www.marlboroughtheatre.co.uk Scratch Night Comedy, dance and spoken word where the audience is invited to give new artists feedback on their performance! •Sun 15 Apr, 8pm, £5 Boutique Burlesque performance with twisted physical theatre and sensual striptease. Come dressed to impress! •Sat 21 Apr, 8pm, £6/£8

THEATRE ROYAL, BRIGHTON 08700 606650 www.theambassadors.com/theatreroyal

WORTHING: PAVILION THEATRE 01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk The Fox Factor – Starring Basil Brush Spectacular show for all the family with the popular character Basil Brush. Comedy, mayhem and laughs plus special guests. •Thu 5 Apr, 2.30pm & 6pm, £12 The Spirit Of Broadway – A Star-Spangled Celebration High-energy show with lavish costumes and hit songs from the likes of Grease, Chicago and Cats. •Tue 17 Apr, 8pm, £15/£17/£19 We’ll Meet Again Relive the spirit of the 1940s in this show paying tribute to Vera Lynn, Bing Crosby and more. •Wed 18 Apr, 2pm, £10 Calamity Jane New Southern Musical Productions present the story of Jane – who travels to the Windy City, transforming herself from a boyish gun-slingin’ gal into a proper lady. •Wed 25–Sat 28 Apr, 7.45pm plus 2.45pm Sat, £9–£12

If you would like your event listed please email listings@thelatest.co.uk

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KIDS

Easter garden Zara Friend discovers fun activities planned at Borde Hill to keep the kids entertained this Easter Borde Hill Garden has everything to keep the kids busy this Easter holiday. Found at Haywards Heath, Borde Hill Garden has created an exciting Easter Crossword Trail for junior visitors, open now until the 13 April. All kids under the age of 12 can take part in the crossword. The aim is to hunt for eight Easter bunnies, which can be found hiding throughout the West Sussex Heritage Garden. After discovering the words on the bunnies, youngsters will then need to fit them into the Easter Crossword. For every completed activity sheet, there will be a delicious chocolate egg prize! The events don’t end there, with creative egg painting taking place in the Activity Centre, open daily from 12-4pm, for just £1 an egg. Children can also explore the extensive parkland on an exciting tractor and trailer ride, which takes place daily between 2-4pm, priced at £1 per person. A visit to Borde Hill Garden is a special day out for visitors of all ages. While the kids play, parents can take in the stunning gardens, enjoying the extensive collection of flowers which will be in bloom over Easter. Borde Hill Garden, entry to the garden, including the Easter Crossword and the Pirates Adventure Playground for under-12s, is £6.50 per adult; £5.50 Senior Citizens and £3.50 per child (under 3s free)

EVENTS

THIS WEEK’S PREVIEWS The Space Brighton’s popular media and arts networking event, The Space (Southern Performance and Creative Energies) takes place this Tuesday 3 April at The New Madeira Hotel. An ideal environment to make contacts and connections, the event is the perfect opportunity to meet like-minded people, hearing and sharing different thoughts and ideas. This week’s special guests are artist/illustrator Cliff Wright and Nick Dodds, director of the Brighton Dome and the Brighton Festival. The pair hold impressive resumes, with Cliff Wright spending over 17 years as a children’s illustrator, best known for creating the cover art for the Harry Potter books The Chamber of Secrets and The Prisoner of Azkaban. Meanwhile, Nick Dodds will be looking ahead to May’s Brighton Festival, now in its fifth year and the largest event of its kind in the UK. As well as this, the Brighton Dome remains committed in showcasing the best in international arts in the South East region. The Space, Tue 3 April, 7pm doors for 7.30pm start, £3 (www.newmadeirahotel.com). For more information on Cliff Wright visit www.cliffwright.co.uk. For Nick Dodds, visit www.brightondome.org or www.brightonfestival.org.uk. For Space, visit www.thespace.me.uk

Alice’s Easter Wonderland Alice will really enjoy Easter weekend this year, as a tumble down the rabbit’s hole at Brighton Marina leads her to a curious Wonderland playground. See Alice and all her friends come to life in this special Easter event. Fun for all the family, join in the Easter Egg Hunt with Juice 107.2 to win some chocolate goodies. Alternatively, join the Mad Hatter’s Make And Take Tea Party, where visitors get to make their own eggs and ‘EAT ME’ fairy cakes to take home. Three full days packed with free fun and games for all, including free face-painting and rides for small children. Don’t miss out – join Alice’s new adventure in Brighton Marina’s very own Wonderland. Brighton Marina, Saturday 7, Sunday 8 and Monday 9 April, 12pm–4.30pm, free

To feature in kids email: editorial@thelatest.co.uk

Crossword solutions Solution to Cryptic 86 ACROSS: 1 Spiral 4 Hamper 9 Mismanagement 10 Right 11 Retract 12 Milan 13 Ovoid 18 Leisure 20 Ovary 21 Unaccompanied 22 Tether 23 Tennis. DOWN: 1 Sombre 2 Insignificant 3 Acantha 5 Adept 6 Prevarication 7 Rotate 8 Dairy 14 Violate 15 Flaunt 16 Seamy 17 Hyades 19 Uncle. Solution to Quick 86 ACROSS: 1 France 4 Madcap 9 Disappearance 10 Lasso 11 Lawless 12 First 13 Party 18 Imagine 20 Viola 21 Guiltlessness 22 Sentry 23 Prayer. DOWN: 1 Fiddle 2 Assassination 3 Copious 5 Arrow 6 Confectionery 7 Please 8 Belly 14 Adviser 15 Dirges 16 Meter 17 Hawser 19 Inter. © Crossword Shop

If you would like your event listed please email listings@thelatest.co.uk

Eco Craft Classes Turn your trash into treasure and help the environment at the same time in a new series of Eco Craft Classes starting Wednesday 4 April. Back by popular demand, innovative recycling designer Jasmine Fish will guide you in finding a creative use for your waste. All those old plastic containers, drink cans and magazines – Jasmine will help you create beautiful high quality jewellery, gifts, cards, boxes and decorations from the things you would normally throw out. In these step-by-step practical workshops, you will save yourself money by making your own crafts, reduce waste, develop your creativity and meet like-minded people. Eco Craft Classes, 6.30–8.30pm, £40 for the course. Starts Wednesday 4 April and then weekly until 25 April. Brighton Peace And Environment Centre, 39-41 Surrey Street (opposite station), Brighton. Booking essential on 07877 880 244. Contact Jasmine to book or for more info. Email jasminefish@hotmail.com Zara Friend latest 7 39

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ART

See more at latest-art.co.uk

Memoirs Of A Woman Of Leisure

including Fay Godwin, Tim Hall, John Holloway, Linda McCartney, Steve Pyke and Bruce Rae. Until 1 May, Mon-Sat 10am-6pm, Sun 10.30am-4.30pm

images from that event along with new subverted icons. 31 Mar-6 May, Tue-Fri 10am5.30pm, Sat 10am-6pm, Sun 12am-5pm

OPEN STUDIOS DE LA WARR PAVILION Marina, Bexhill on Sea 01424 229111 A Secret Service: Art, Compulsion, Concealment Exploring the work of 16 artists whose pieces centre on the creation of secret worlds or the exposure of hidden facts and images. Until 15 April, Mon-Sun 10am-6pm

HOVE MUSEUM AND ART GALLERY New Church Road, Hove 01273 290200 Jacqueline Yu-Fan Li Delicate ceramics inspired by a sense of space. Until 15 Apr. Paper Cuts Eight artists employ paper cutting techniques to reflect on our culture and environment. Paper cutting has been used by many different cultures throughout history to mark important events and religious occasions, and the delicate nature of paper relates to our vulnerability, dreams and ambitions. 7 April-1 July, Wed-Sat 11.30am-5pm, Sun 2-5pm

NORTH LAINE PHOTOGRAPHY GALLERY

Flickering image The world’s largest portal for exchanging every kind of photography online is ‘flickr’. Miss Aniela is a local photographer registering over a million ‘hits’ in the last six months. Her site embodies the empowerment of self portrayal, combining stunning imagery with the intimacy of ordinary snapshots of her life. The result is a young artist created online, exploring her identity and interacting with cutting debate on issues of voyeurism and self-image, actively engaging with her online audience. Interwoven with the ‘clone’ images, some startlingly sensual self-portrait images (using single shots), alongside the more mundane photographs of her normal life interests. (Pets, family, current reading matter, friends, trips abroad) all find a place online that not only bring a sense of intimacy but struck the North Laine Photography Gallery Director Nigel Swallow as reminiscent of Wolfgang Tillmans insistence on ‘democratising’ his images at the peak of his career. This is her first exhibition. Miss Aniela, North Laine Photography Gallery, Kensington Gardens, Brighton, 3-30 April

Upstairs, Snooper’s Paradise, Kensington Gardens, Brighton 01273 686506 Miss Aniela The world’s largest portal for exchanging every kind of photography online is ‘flickr’. Miss Aniela is a local photographer registering over a million ‘hits’ in the last six months. Her site embodies the empowerment of self portrayal, combining stunning imagery with the intimacy of ordinary snapshots of her life. This is her first exhibition. 3-30 April, Mon-Sat 10.15am-5.45pm, Sun 1.15am-3.45pm

O CONTEMPORARY Trafalgar Street, Brighton 01273 698500 D*face: Eyecons The notorious urban artist was part of the revolutionary 11 Spring Street event in New York that attracted a lot of attention. He’ll be exhibiting one of the iconic

Brighton Baech, 168 Kings Road Arches 01273 725013 Five Days Colourful abstracts by Sophie Abbott and expressive portraits by Patrick Bremer. 6-10 April, 12-5pm every day

PHOENIX GALLERY Waterloo Place, Brighton 01273 603700 Taking Off! Rocket Artists Group New work by this group consisting of eight artists with learning disabilities who have been working in collaboration with University Of Brighton students. Until 21 April, Tue-Sat 11am-5pm

ROYAL PAVILION Royal Pavilion Gardens, Brighton 01273 290900 Stig Evans Artist in residence at the Pavilion, he’s been working with the Pavilion’s conservation department, looking into the history of the building’s painted decorative schemes. A series of his works inspired by the project are being exhibited. Until 26 Apr, MonSun 10am-5.15pm (hours until end March)

UNIVERSITY OF BRIGHTON GALLERY Grand Parade, Brighton 01273 643101 Drawing Upon Drawing: 50 Years of Illustrating by John Vernon Lord Major retrospective of this illustrator whose work graces books, magazines and advertising media. Until 5 May, Mon-Sat 10am-5pm

WORTHING MUSEUM AND ART GALLERY Chapel Road, Worthing 01903 221448 Luke Dickinson Sensual stone carvings. Until 23 Jun Tues-Sat, 10am-5pm Water, Water Everywhere 40 treasures from the museum’s stores that explore watery themes. Until 16 Jun, Tues-Sat 10am-5pm

ART LISTINGS

Sheephold nr Lewes – Scenes of Sussex exhibition @ Crane Kalman

ART AT FIVE 5 Bartholomew’s, Brighton 01273 774222 Showcase of original artwork from emerging, creative talent, as well as more established artists. Mon-Sat 10am-6pm, Sun 11am-5pm

ARTHOUSE Western Road, Hove 01273 770083 Christina Sanders Retrospective exhibition of photographs on the theme of memories. Until 30 April, Mon-Fri 4pm-late, Sat & Sun 2pm-late

BRIGHTON MUSEUM AND ART GALLERY Church Street, Brighton 01273 290200 Alice Maher: Natural Artifice Major exhibition for this multi-disciplinary artist. Using sculpture, installation, drawing and photography, she creates unsettling pieces that trigger emotional responses, and which are 40 latest 7

often drawn from myth and folklore. Until 9 Apr Rogues Gallery: Images of Crime and Punishment Display of popular prints featuring notorious crimes and punishments, mainly from the 18th and 19th centuries including enemies of the state and real-life murderers Until 30 Sept, Tues 10am-7pm, Wed-Sat 10am-5pm, Sun 2-5pm

CHALK GALLERY North Street, Lewes 01273 474477 21 professional artists from across all media. Featured artist is Kate Penoyre with her innovative and abstract Sussex landscapes. Mon-Sun 10am-5pm

CRANE KALMAN BRIGHTON Kensington Gardens, Brighton 01273 697096 Scenes of Sussex: Where The Hills Meet The Sea Featuring six superb photographers

If you would like an event listed, please email listings@thelatest.co.uk

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LISTINGS

YOUR COMPLETE LISTINGS GUIDE STARTS HERE

latestlistings The hottest tickets for the week ahead 3–9 April Barenaked Ladies

Scott Matthews

The Bays

★MUSIC★

Acoustic singer-songwriter phenomenon, whose debut album Passing Stranger managed to fuse the right ingredients in the right way. Boyish good looks, an otherworldy voice and, above all, some stunning songs have helped him get to the top very quickly. Brighton Dome, Wed 4 April, 7pm, £10.50

Canadian phenomenon whose 1991 debut became the only indie release to go platinum in Canada’s history. Basically a good-time acoustic rock, folk and pop band who have catapulted their way to stadium league in North America. Brighton Dome, Thurs 5 April, 7pm, £22.50

Return of the improvising rockfusion outfit who never record anything, nor play the same thing twice. They’re big favourites on the festival circuit for their ability to sound interesting and quite trippy. Audio, Brighton, Sunday 8 April, 8pm, £tbc

Scott Matthews

Barenaked Ladies

The Bays

★COMEDY★

Toby Whithouse

Kronenbourg Krater Comedy Club The great Junior Simpson headlines Friday’s Krater. He’s been maintaining high standards for years, and is ably supported by Tim Jeffries and Dan Evans. MC is local funnyman Rufus Hound. Komedia, Brighton, Fri 6 April, 7.30pm, £12/£10 Alexander O’Neal

★COMEDY★

★MUSIC★

Alexander O’Neal Massively popular urban soul singer best known for ‘Fake’ and ‘Criticize’. Sometimes raunchy, sometimes smooth as silk, he’s still one of the best around. Assembly Hall, Worthing, Thurs 5 April, 8pm, £20/£18

Sidesplitters Junior Simpson

Rob and Skatz headline tonight on Western Road, with talented Doctor Who and Torchwood writer Toby Whithouse opening the show, plus two new acts sandwiched between them. The Providence, Sunday 8 April, 8pm, £4 For venue details see page 49 latest 7 41

042_LS315_reviews

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Need a music video making or a gig filmed?

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Under review Recent shows with a sprinkling of home-grown talent Man In The Moon film fame – impersonator providing verbatim Kaufman to a part highlyentertained and part non-plussed audience. Headlining was Swizzleshaker, offering up a great self-contained show of a cocktail barman and a stunning dame, dancing and shaking around the stage. A great excuse to dress up and enjoy the low life. Ministry Of Burlesque, The Hanbury Club, 15 March ✌✌✌✌

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My Chemical Romance An impressive two-hour set started with lead singer Gerard emerging in a hospital bed complete with ghost-white face and gown. The packed centre then erupted when the band kicked off with ‘The End’ and ‘Dead!’ Entertaining theatrics combined with energetic music, this New Jersey group performed a gig of two halves, with The Black Parade being announced dead to make way for My Chemical Romance – featuring tracks from their largely popular album Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge. If bands like Greenday can survive for so long, then we should see My Chemical Romance for a long time to come. The Brighton Centre, 15 March ✌✌✌✌✌

Victoria Nangle

Zara Friend Dusty Limits

High Tease The Hanbury is the perfect setting for a decadent night of burlesque cabaret with its Art Deco settings. Taken back to 1930s Germany, as the master of ceremonies, Dusty Limits, opened with a drag act’s melody, his cheeky patter keeping all in check and amused, the stage was set. It was a mixed bag, with an Andy Kaufman – he of The

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enjoyable chilled-out evening with a very mellow vibe. The night kicked off nicely with The Miserable Rich, who provided a beautiful set with cello, violin and double bass accompanying singer and guitar. Really remarkable with a sound all of their own, they were difficult to follow. Conrad Vingoe did his best with his own acoustic set, followed by the beautiful soul workings of Laura Vane. When, finally, HardKandy’s Seany Clarke took to the stage, his voice sent a chill right through your spine for all the right reasons. Brighton Stripped at The Sussex Arts Club, 21 March ✌✌✌✌

Bryan Ferry This enigmatic son of a miner from Sunderland made an appearance at the relatively intimate Dome, for a long show featuring new material from his recent Dylanesque album, plus a choice selection of songs from his extensive back catalogue. Managing to look suave and elegantly dishevelled at the same time, Ferry effortlessly crooned his way through the night, caressing those songs with that uniquely warbling voice of his. A man of few words, he let his voice and his large ensemble do the talking. Smooth and professional throughout, this lacked a bit of electrical spark despite a number of up-tempo tunes that had some of the large female presence on their feet. Brighton Dome, 20 March ✌✌✌✌ Jeff Hemmings

Seany Clarke, Laura Vane, Conrad Vingoe and The Miserable Rich This monthly opportunity to see Sussex’s fine musicians stripped down to their acoustic bare necessities provided a highly

Maddie Live A sensational show! Gifting funny, exciting entertainment and high calibre guests, creating an iridescent variety show. So much extraordinary entertainment is jampacked into the decadent and intimate Hanbury, which is transformed into a playful boudoir. From music to comedy to interviews with exciting guests in a beautiful bath! This really is an incredible night, held once a month. Constant colour and high spirited delights were cast our way, hosted by the chatty and lovable Maddy – worth a see on her own! With more than nine very different, but equally phenomenal acts there was something for everyone. And to top it all a great crowd and atmosphere. This show is unmissable! Hanbury Club, 25 March ✌✌✌✌✌ Adele Zizi

The Laughing Onion

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Paul Mosley, Joogleberry, 8pm

Live music Dr Razzu + Anxiety + Push Power + The Five40s Cable Club local band night. Pressure Point, 7.30pm, £4 Jason Henson & Piers Clarke Swing jazz and blues. Arthouse, 8.30pm, free My Little Problem + Paul Mosley Lush and dreamy acoustic soundscapes from this great eight-piece Brighton band who are signed to Mr Ian Huddy’s Life Is Easy label. Plus lo-fi Clangers-inspired loveliness from Moses frontman Paul Mosley. Joogleberry, 8pm, £5/4 Open mic Brunswick, 8pm, free Salter Cane + Molly Thomas Album launch party for brilliant local country-noir outfit. Expect plenty of twang. Prince Albert, 7.30pm, £4 Slip Jam:B Open mic and decks at this infamous and long-running night. Featuring Genius Squad, Herbie Dragons, Scizzahz, Tai, Vecks and Enlish. Hosted by Hinesy Hines with DJ Richie Cunningham. Hope, 8pm, free

Bars and clubs Above Audio Late bar. Until 1am Ancient Mariner Late bar. Until 1am Arc Bar Expelled: A night for students who just wanna have fun. Music from every genre. 10.30pm–3am, £1 before 10.30pm/£2 after Belushi’s ElementS: Drum and bass, drink promos. 8pm–2am, £1 Caroline Of Brunswick Quiz with a difference: plasticine and drawing rounds. 8.30pm, £1 Cosmopolitan Bar Open house – hang out at your new favourite local. The Fiddler’s Elbow Late bar. until 2am The Fishbowl Late bar Until 2am Funkylicious The Zap. Funky house anthems. 10pm–3am, free The Globe Late bar Until 2am The Joogleberry Late bar. 11am–1pm check with venue before travelling. ➧ Please See our venue directory for details

Kinky Robot Funky Buddha Lounge. Breaks and electro. 10.30pm–3am, £5 Koba Late bar. Until 5am Hare & Hounds Free pool. Pop Po Na Na. R’n’B action. 10.30-3am, £5 Providence Curry & pint night with drink promos and table football. From 6pm Roots Garden Jazz Place. Reggae and roots. 10pm–2am, £3.50/£2.50 Snide Audio. Indie old and new. 10pm–2am, £2 Suga Qube Industry night – bar workers/door staff’s night off. Free Tequila Tuesday Casablanca. 10.30pm-late, free

Gay Amsterdam 11am–11pm. Food served up to 8pm. Sauna 3pm–4am Aquarium 12pm–11pm Brighton Oasis Sauna. 12pm–12am Bright ’n’ beautiful Sauna. 12pm–10pm Bulldog 11am–2am Candy Bar Twisted karaoke night. 9pm–2am Charles Street Bar 12pm–11pm Legends Bar 11am–5am Legends Dance Toxic. 11pm–4am, free. Marine Tavern Nat’s quiz night 9pm. 12pm–12am Marlborough Ladies’ night.12pm–12am Queen’s Arms Food, wi-fi access, and happy hour till 7pm. Spice up your life! The fabulous Spice hosts her own karaoke show from 9pm. 2.30–11.30pm The PV. 5-7pm deals on selected drinks. 12pm–12am R-Bar Student night. Selected drinks £2 all night. 12pm–2am Revenge Student night. Drinks from £1.50. NUS free all night/others free before 11 then £3, 10.30pm–3am Star Inn Food 12–3pm and 6–9pm. 11am–12am Vavoom Happy hour till 6pm. Open till 4am V2 club Music videos upstairs and karaoke downstairs until 12am. 10pm–late The Zone 1pm–12am

Theatre Blood Brothers The hit West End musical comes to Worthing telling the story of twin boys separated at birth who are then reunited by fate and a dark secret kept by their mother. Worthing Connaught Theatre, 7.30pm, £26.50/£28 Lucy By Ed Harris Lucy washes up on the island of Britneygrad, to be met by conjoined twins. Ridicule, romance and cannibalism thrown into the mix – this is a comic assault on scandal. Brighton Dome, 7.45pm, £5.50/£7 Rocky Horror Show Following a record-breaking sell-out in the West End, the Rocky Horror Show returns with its raunchy rock ’n’ roll. Put on the fishnets and stilettos and join Frank and the gang for an unforgettable night. Theatre Royal Brighton, 7.45pm, £29.50, £26.50, £23.50, £18 September Tide Based on Daphne du Maurier’s classic story about a widow who rejects marriage proposals but finds herself falling for her daughter’s new husband, Evan. Eastbourne Devonshire Park, 7.45pm, £13.50/£16/£18 We’ll Meet Again Back by popular demand, singers, comedians and musicians recall great wartime entertainment with the likes of Bing Crosby and Vera Lynn. Eastbourne Winter Garden Theatre, 2.30pm, £11

Family and friends Easter Egg Hunt Children’s Easter holiday event at Worthing Museum. Pre-booking required on 01903 221448, 10.30am–12pm Greyhound racing Enjoy an evening at the races with friends – place a bet or watch the action with a meal in the Skyline Restaurant. Brighton and Hove Greyhound Stadium, call 01273 204601 for details The Space Popular media and arts networking event, this week with special guest speakers author/illustrator Cliff Wright and Nick Dodds, director of Brighton Dome and the Brighton Festival. The New Madeira Hotel, doors 7pm, starts 7.30pm, £3

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wednesday 04 videos. Open ’til 4am V2 Club Music videos upstairs and karaoke downstairs until 12am. 10pm–late

Theatre

COMING SOON

Blood Brothers The hit West End musical comes to Worthing telling the story of twin boys separated at birth who are then reunited by fate and a dark secret kept by their mother. Worthing Connaught Theatre, 2pm, £24.50/£22.50 and 7.30pm, £28/£26.50 High School Musical The English premiere of the stage version of the popular Disney film. The Grease of the 21st Century, experience the fun and romance of High School Musical in this live show. The Old Market, 5pm, sold out Once A Catholic By Mary O’Malley. Hilarious comedy about life in a London Convent, set in the 1950s. Brighton Dome, 7.45pm, £7.50/£5.50 Rocky Horror Show Following a recordbreaking sell-out run in the West End, the Rocky Horror show returns with its raunchy rock’n’roll. Put on the fishnets and stilettos and join Frank and the gang for an unforgettable night. Theatre Royal Brighton, 7.45pm, £18–£29.50 September Tide Based on Daphne du Maurier’s classic story about a widow who rejects marriage proposals but finds herself falling for her daughter’s new husband. Eastbourne Devonshire Park, 2.30pm and 7.45pm, £18/£16/£13.50, mat £13.50

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Rocky Horror Show, Theatre Royal Brighton, 7.45pm

Live music Carpet + Winteria + Acusis + Friday Night Hero White Noise rock night. Pressure Point, 8pm, £4/£3 Cella Sessions Singer-songwriter evening. Cella, 7.30pm, £4 Circle Of Friends Acoustic night. Cosmopolitan Bar, 8.30pm, free Contort Yourself Garage, no-wave and jazz with DJs and live bands. Hope, 8pm, £2.50 Flamenkines Flamenco night with live band, sangria and tapas. Joogleberry, 8pm, £4 Frank Turner + Jay Jay & The Pistolets Bahrain-born former Million Dead member whose has found a new outlet as a folk-punk and roots singer-songwriter with a new album called Sleep Is For The Week. The Globe, 8pm, £4 Wall & Dennis Primett Quartet Brunswick, 8pm, free My Waiting Gold + YUUKI + Facing South Local indie bands. Pav Tav, 8pm, free The Legendary Bee’s Mouth Open Mic Arthouse, 8.30pm, free Open Mic London Unity, 9pm, free Scott Matthews Acoustic singer-songwriter phenomenon whose debut album Passing Stranger managed to fuse the right ingredients in the right way. Boyish good looks, an otherworldy voice and, above all, some stunning songs have helped him get to the top very quickly. Dome, 7pm, £10.50 Sweet Soul Music Celebration of some of the greatest soul hits featuring the SSM Band and Horns. Pavilion Theatre, Worthing, 8pm, £21/£19 Wednesday Night Originals Weekly showcase of local bands. Portland, 7.30pm, £3

Bars and clubs Above Audio Late bar, until 1am Ancient Mariner Late bar, until 1am Arc Bar Don’t Tell Ya Mum And Dad. A night of proper grown up dance music. Hectic and eclectic mixture of electro, indie and more. 10pm ’til late, £3/£2 Audio Supercharged. Breaks and beats from Hyper. 10pm-2am, £4/£2 Casablanca Fun Ki Disco. Funky sounds. 10pm-late £2/£1/free

Engine Rooms AM. Rock and indie. 12pm-2am, free The Fiddler’s Elbow Late bar, until 2am The Fishbowl Late bar, until 2am Funky Buddha Lounge Sabotage. Indie-rock stylings. 10.30pm-3am £2 The Globe Late bar, until 2am Gloucester The Pit. Rock and metal. 10pm2am, £3/£2 Honey Club No Nonsense. Eclectic mix for students and their friends. 10pm-2am, £5/£2 The Joogleberry Late bar 11am–1pm The Juggler Bar Quiz night – general and themed rounds. Prizes available. 8.30pm Koba Late bar, until 5am Penthouse Sounds From The Satellite Russian Disco. 9pm-1am, free Suga Qube Live And Direct. A showcase of Brighton talent. 9pm–2am, free Volks Productive Error. Drum and bass. 10.30pm-3am, £4/£2 The Zap Smash Hits. Poptastic classics. 10pm2am, £3/£2

Gay Amsterdam Food served up to 8pm. 11am–11pm Aquarium 12–11pm Brighton Oasis Sauna. Noon–12am Bright ’n’ Beautiful 12pm–10pm Caledonian Bar Karaoke Caledonian 2 Cabaret – Dave Lynn’s Madhouse, until 12am Charles Street Bar 12pm–11pm Marine Tavern 12pm–12am Marlborough Quiz at 8.30pm. Prizes for winners. 12pm–12am Queens Arms Bar manager Marc’s and Antonio’s birthday bash! Cabaret with Rose Garden and Raychel Harvey Jones – 9pm. Theme: chavz! Everybody welcome. 2.30pm11.30pm. R-Bar Go Double Baby. From 9pm, any double just £1 extra. 12pm–2am Revenge Strut your stuff at 1970s heaven. £2 before 11pm, £3 after. Free entry if dressed to theme. Selected drinks just £1.50. 10.30pm–3am Star Inn Food 12–3pm and 6–9pm. 12pm–12am Vavoom Happy hour ’til 6pm. Your choice

Comedy Cooked Up Comedy A chance for comics to try out new material in this intimate and friendly environment. Kitchen Bar, 8pm, free Marlborough Theatre The Maydays improv comedy showcase. 8pm, £5 www.ticketsource.co.uk/marlboroughtheatre Ricky Gervais – Fame The modest one has returned yet again, very generously adding another date to his Fame tour and giving you another chance to catch the man behind The Office and Extras. Very funny raconteur. Brighton Centre, 7.30pm, £25

Family and friends Eco Craft Classes Turn your trash into treasure under the guidance of designer Jasmine Fish. Create jewellery, gifts, cards and decorations with your waste. Begins today and runs weekly until 25 April. Brighton Peace and Environment Centre. 39-41 Surrey Street, Brighton. Booking essential on 07877 880 244. 6–8.30pm, £40 for the course Flamenco With Flamenkines Regular Wednesday night of flamenco dancing, tapas, sangria and a live band. Joogleberry Playhouse, 8pm, £4 Eggstravaganza Family event – a chance to see unusual and beautiful eggs at Booth Museum. Curator Jeremy will be on hand to answer questions. Booth Museum, 2–4pm drop-in, free Greyhound racing Afternoon races at the popular Hove venue. Relax in the Sprinters bar or eat at the trackside grill or The Skyline Restaurant, which offers a perfect view of the racing. Brighton and Hove Greyhound Stadium, please call 01273 204601 to confirm details Rare Eggs Take inspiration from some decorated eggs from the museum collection and create your own decorative egg box. Easter holiday fun for all ages. Continues on Thu 5 April. Brighton Museum, 10.30am–12.30pm, £5 Shrek ‘Personal Appearance’ Everyone’s favourite green ogre stomps in from the swamp to make an appearance at Drusillas Park this Easter holiday. Come along and see the usual delights of the Park, with the lovable ogre around at various intervals throughout the day. Drusillas Park, please visit the website www.drusillas.co.uk for opening times and prices or call 01323 847100 check with venue before travelling. ➧ Please See our venue directory for details

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thursday 05 Live music Alexander O’Neal Smooth soul from this living legend. Assembly Hall, Worthing, 8pm, £20/£18 Are You Taking The Mic? Original performers only, no covers for this open mic night. Register by emailing andersdmoney@yahoo.co.uk. Providence, 8pm, free Barenaked Ladies Canadian phenomenon whose 1991 debut became the only indie release to go platinum in Canada’s history. Basically a good-time acoustic rock, folk and pop band that has catapulted their way to stadium league over in North America. Brighton Dome, 7pm, £22.50 Capital X + Dayfall + EJ Norman + Scarlet Soho Dream Sequence No. 3 event with the above bands, plus exhibition artists and DJ Mavro. Sussex Arts Club, 7.30pm, £5/£4 Cella Sessions Open mic for original songs only. Cella, 7.30pm, free Chip Jenkins Local jazz singer. Pitcher And Piano, 8pm, free Chungking + Lisa Lindley-Jones + Zan Pan With a new album due in the summer Brighton’s Chungking have changed direction somewhat, taking you on a gothic electropop journey with a new wave twist. They are playing their first Brighton gig for some time as part of the They Can And They Will club night, which also features comedian Mark Talbot and DJs. All proceeds to Medecins Sans Frontieres. Komedia, 8.30pm, £8/£6 Electric Jam Session Portland, 9pm, free Miss Pain Super-esoteric and minimalist electro art-rockers with a fine sense of the surreal and theatre. Playing live as part of Boogaloo Stu’s Calvacade Of Pop club night. Po Na Na, 10pm, £3.50 The Grits + Remi & The Rays + Rubylux Grimy and greasy instrumental funk that’s stripped back to the bone. Joogleberry, 8pm, £5 Open night Lewes Folk Club open mic night. Royal Oak, Lewes, 8pm, free Spiritual Element with LTJ Bukem and MC Conrad. Concorde II, 11pm-4am, £9.50 Swing Oddity Jazz dub trio. Arthouse, 8.30pm, free Terry Lewis’s Stoned This very fine guitarist has worked with members of Jools Holland’s Orchestra, Average White Band and Spencer Davis Group, as well as playing on the young soul and groove scene. Ace keyboardist Tom Phelan is in the line-up, fronted by 20 year old singer Chantelle. Brunswick, 8pm, £3 Third Time Lucky + The Sky Rats + Beaten Pav Tav, 8pm, free Young Soul Rebels + The Dirty Social Disorder + Girls From Egypt High uptempo Brighton band who mix punk, new wave, motown, hardcore and pop. Pressure Point, 8pm, £4/£3

Honeyclub Contagious. Classic house 10pmlate £4/£2 The Joogleberry Late bar 11am–1pm Koba Late bar, until 5am Ocean Rooms Coco Latte with DJ Sonique 10.30pm-4am, £8 Pav Tav The Resurrection. Indie for the masses. 10pm-2am £3/£1.50 Po Na Na Back In The Day. Old-skool hip hop. 10pm-2am, £3 Suga Qube Weekend warm-up with soulful and funky house. 9pm–2am, free Sumo De Puta Madre. After-work drinking epic with excellent house soundtrack. 6pm-6am, free Volks Aba-Shanti. Heavyweight reggae. 10pm-3am £6/£5 Western Front Late bar until 3am The Zap Chopper Choons. Kitsch and cool tunes. 10pm-3am £4/free for NUS The Zap Office Party. Party tunes and pop. 10pm-2am £5/£3

Gay Amsterdam Food served up to 8pm. Sauna 3pm–4am. 11am–11pm Aquarium 12–11pm Brighton Oasis Sauna 12pm–12am Bright’n’Beautiful Sauna 12–10pm Bulldog 11am–2am Candy Bar 9pm–2am, free Charles Street Club Religion. Beyond Eden – bank holiday party. Hosted by Joan Bond with DJs Richard Jones and Tony B on the decks. 10.30pm3am, £5/£4 flyer/£3 NUS. £2 drinks promos. Harlequin 8pm–2am, free Legends Bar 11am–5am Legends Dance 11pm–4am, free Marine Tavern Man Trap. 12pm–12am. Marlborough Free pool 6pm onwards. 12pm–12am The PV 12pm–12am Queens Arms Food, wi-fi access and happy hour ’til 7pm. R-Bar Cabaret with Maisie Trollette and John Bruzon @ 9:30pm. 5-9pm happy hour. 12pm-2am Revenge Manzone is back by popular demand! Strictly men only. Stripper from midnight. £2 drinks. 10.30pm–3am, £2 Star Inn Food served 12–3pm/6-–8pm. 12pm–midnight Vavoom Thirsty Thursday. Music videos all night long. ’Til 4am V2 Club Sydney Mardi Gras 2007! Gabbi’s video and some pics from March visit. Free nibbles. 10pm-late The Zone 1pm–12am

Theatre Blood Brothers The hit West End musical comes to Worthing, telling the story of twin boys separated at birth, who are then reunited by fate and a dark secret kept by their mother. Worthing Connaught Theatre, 7.30pm, £28/£26.50 The Fox Factor - Starring Basil Brush Spectacular show for all the family with the popular character Basil Brush. Comedy, mayhem and laughs plus special guests. Worthing Pavilion Theatre, 2.30pm and 6pm, £12 High School Musical The English premiere of the stage version of the popular Disney film. The Grease of the 21st Century, experience the fun and romance of High School Musical in this live show. New date added! The Old Market, 5pm, £12/£9.50/£8 Rocky Horror Show Following a recordbreaking sell-out run in the West End, the Rocky Horror show returns with its raunchy rock’n’roll. Put on the fishnets and stilettos and join Frank and the gang for an unforgettable night. Theatre Royal, 7.45pm, £29.50/£26.50/£23.50/£18 September Tide Based on Daphne Du Maurier’s classic story about a widow who rejects marriage proposals but finds herself falling for her daughter’s new husband. Eastbourne Devonshire Park. 7.45pm £18/£16/£13.50

Comedy Maydays Improvised Comedy Drop-In Class Your chance to join in with the mirth-making and learn improvisation from the most respected improv troupe in Sussex.The Open House, 7.30pm, £7

Family and friends Art and Craft Classes For children aged 18 months to five years old. A fun weekly arts and craft class, letting youngsters explore their creativity. Malling Community Centre, Lewes. For more info/to book please call 01273 488616. Greyhound racing A great night out with friends at the races. Relax in the restaurant or bar and enjoy all the racing action. Brighton and Hove Greyhound Stadium, please call 01273 204601 to confirm times and prices Rare Eggs (Day two of this event). Take inspiration from some decorated eggs from the museum collection and create your own decorative egg box. Easter holiday fun for all ages. Brighton Museum, 10.30am–12.30pm, £5

Chungking, Komedia, 8.30pm

Bars and clubs Above Audio Late bar, until 1am Ancient Mariner Late bar, until 1am Arc Bar Late night bar Audio Dynamite Boogaloo. Legendary pop/kitsch night. £4/£3 10pm-2am Bar Bamboogy Live DJs. 8pm–2am, free Belushi’s Rock bar. £1.50 vodka/mix and selected pints £2. 8pm–2am, free Casablanca Sambanation. Sunny Brazilian flavours. 9.30pm-2am £2/£1 Cosmopolitan Bar Spinner Stays On. If the DJ’s good enough to stay on, let them know! If not, vote them off, 7.30pm start, free Creation Floorfillers. Pop anthems. 10pm-2am £2/90p Engine Rooms Rock Brighton. Live rock 10pm-2am £3/£1.50 The Fiddler’s Elbow Late bar, until 2am The Fishbowl Late bar, until 3am Funky Buddha Lounge Warm Your Soul. Classic soul and funk. 9pm-very early, £2/free The Globe Late bar, until 3am Gloucester Mad for It. Indie. 10pm-2am, £3/£1.50 check with venue before travelling. ➧ Please See our venue directory for details

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friday 06 dulcie danger banging away upstairs with the fabulous lollipop girls hosting downstairs. Door: £5 b4 11, £7 after. 10.30pm-5am, £5 before 11pm, £7 after. Rehab Therapy. 9pm-4am Star Inn Food 12pm-3pm and 6pm-9pm. 11am-1am Vavoom Bar Boyz. Promos till 6pm and when certain tracks play. Dance music videos all night Open ’til 6am. V2 club open 10pm-late. Music videos upstairs and karaoke downstairs until 12am. Members free. The Zone 1pm–midnight

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Black Chalk Brunswick, 8pm, £3 David Arcari National guitar-driven alt-blues with hints of rockabilly and trash country. Neptune, 8.30pm, free F.N.U.K Seven piece soul funk band playing 60s and 70s covers. Joogleberry, 8pm, £7 Gilad Atzmon Quartet Brighton Jazz Club. Sussex Arts Club, 7.30pm, £12/10 Laura Marling Super talented and vibrant young singer songwriter who recently supported Jamie T on tour and contributed vocals to recent Rakes album. She’s got her debut London Town ep out this month. Red Roaster, 8pm, £5 Richard Grainger Traditional folk singer and guitarist. The Beachcomber, Seaford, 8.15pm, £tbc Risky Business + Nervous Wreck Hardcore. Engine Room, 7.30pm, £5 Slimshack Rhythm’n’blues. Arthouse, 8.30pm, free Soundlocker Rock Night With DJ Neil By Mouth. Providence, 8pm, £1 Worthing Philharmonic Choir Present Mendelssohn’s Elijah with Arun Sinfonia. Assembley Hall, Worthing, 7.30pm, £12/10

Bars and clubs Above Audio Late bar, until 2am Ali Cats Bar Flow – electro, breaks and booty bass. 8pm–12am, free Ancient Mariner Late bar, until 2am Aqua Bar 70s, 80s and 90s hits, 9pm–2am, free Arc Bar ‘Candy’: R’n’B, soul, rap and ragga £5 b4 12am / more after. 10.30pm – 4am Audio Shogun Drum and bass with DJ Friction. 11–4am £tbc Belushi’s Madness: Sexy chart cheese and club classics. £2 selected drinks until midnight. 10pm–3am Candy Arc Hip hop, soul and ragga. 10.30am–4am, £8/£5 Casablanca Mirror Ball Funky disco. 10.30-3am £6/5/4 Concorde 2 Etch All night Trouser Jazz with Mr. Scruff. 10-3am £8/7 Concorde 2 Hell Yeah! New rock and emo night. 11-3am £5/4 Creation Glitter Baby R’n’B and house. 9.30-3am £6/£4 Engine Rooms Deviant Goth, industrial and indie. 11-3am £5/4 The Fiddler’s Elbow Late bar, until 3am The Fishbowl Late bar, until 2am Funky Buddha Lounge Pork Chop Express Breaks and bootlegs. 3–8am £8/5

The Globe Late bar, until 3am Gloucester Kick Out the Jams. Indie. 10.302am £4/£3 Honeyclub Hard South Hard dance. 10-5am £10/8 Jazz Rooms. Spacekat Cosmic funk and disco. 11-3am £4 The Joogleberry Late bar 11am–1pm Koba 24 hour bar! Komedia Da Doo Ron Ron and Her Little Sisters female-fronted tunes from Hot Gossip to The Gossip. 11-3am £5 Lo Lounge. The House Sessions Quality house with regular guests. 10-3am £5 Obsession Glasshouse presents Ibiza with Love. Filthy electro house. 10.30-3am £8/7 Ocean Rooms. Rebel Bank Holiday Blow Out With Klashnekoff and DJ Patiffe .11-5am £10/7/50 Pav Tav Rip it Up Indie anthems. 10-2am £4/3 Riki Tik Late bar, until 3.30am Suga Qube Evening mass: Sexy, soulful house, 9pm–late. Sumo. The Get Down – backstreet block party. 10-3am £5/3 Volks White Rhino Electro breaks. 11-4am £6/4 Western Front Late bar until 3am The Zap Sexxxy Sexy party electro. 10-4am £8/6

Gay Amsterdam Sauna: 3pm-6am. 11am–5am Aquarium 12pm-1am Brighton Oasis Sauna open 24 hours! Bright ’n’ Beautiful Sauna 12pm-10pm Bulldog 11am-late Caledonian Bar Cabaret with Lady Imelda Caledonian 2 Karaoke, until 12am Candy Bar ‘pop rocks vs booty call’ 9pm-morning. Charles Street Bar Fairylea. Easter special! Cheesy, camp tracks from 10.30 with bunny boiler djs ruby roo & connie conway. How egg-citing! Charles Street Club 10.30pm-3am, Revo. Easter egg special with dj tom logan. Door: £5 Harlequin 9pm-4am, free Legends Bar 11am-5am Pre-yo-yo. Legends Dance 11pm-4am, £5 Yo-yo door: £5 free b4 midnight. Marine Tavern 12pm-12am. Marlborough Live DJ playing some top ’choons’ from 9pm. 12pm-2am Queen’s Arms Food, wi-fi access and happy hour ’til 7pm. 2.30pm–1am R–Bar Official Lollipop warm–up, 5–9pm happy hour. 12pm– 24 hrs Revenge Easter lollipop vs kinky dangerous. Dj

Blood Brothers The hit West End musical comes to Worthing telling the story of twin boys separated at birth who are then reunited by fate and a dark secret kept by their mother. Worthing Connaught Theatre, 7.30pm, £28/£29.50 The Decorator An all-star cast in this hilarious farce: Marcia gets a visit from the wife of who she is having an affair with. The wronged missus wants to spill the beans to Marcia’s husband too, but Marcia has an idea: Get the decorator to play her husband so her real hunny is kept in the dark. But it’s never that simple! The Capitol, Horsham. Please call for times and prices High School Musical The English premiere of the stage version of the popular Disney film. The Grease of the 21st Century, experience the fun and romance of High School Musical in this live show. The Old Market. 5pm and 7.45pm £8/£9.50/£12 Rocky Horror Show Following a recordbreaking sell-out in the West End, the Rocky Horror show returns with its raunchy rock’n’roll. Put on the fishnets and stilettos and join Frank and the gang for an unforgettable night. Theatre Royal. 6pm and 9pm £24/£20 Fri early, £32.50, £29.50, £25.50, £20 Fri eves. September Tide Based on Daphne Du Maurier’s classic story about a widow who rejects marriage proposals but finds herself falling for her daughter’s new husband, Evan. Eastbourne Devonshire Park. 7.45pm £13.50/£17.50/£19.50

Comedy The Improvability Drivet The Mayday Players take their cue from you the audience to turn out some fantastic skits and scenarios, making you laugh more than you thought improv had a right to. The Marborough Theatre, 9pm, £7/6 Kronenbourg Krater Comedy Club The great Junior Simpson headlines tonight's Krater, a man who's been working the circuit and maintaining high standards for years, ably supported by Tim Jeffries and Dan Evans. Your MC is local Rufus Hound. Komedia, 7.30pm, £12/£10 The Treason Show Top notch political and social satire from the crew, offering a mixture of songs, sketches and monologues to make you think and laugh at the same time. Komedia, 8.45pm, £12.50/10.50

Family & Friends Easter Eggscavation Easter fun for kids this Good Friday at Drusillas Park. Unearth items left behind by the Easter bunnies in the special eggscavation site and get a prize from Moregg – Drusillas’ giant chocolate-egg-laying chicken. Drusillas Park, for opening times and prices visit www.drusillas.co.uk or call 01323 847100 Egg Hunt Follow the trail set by the Booth museum, finding answers to the questionnaire about real birds and egg. This fun, interactive learning day may lead you to find your very own Easter egg. Please book in advance on 01273 292777.Booth Museum, 11am, 12.30pm, 2pm and 3.30pm, £3 check with venue before travelling. ➧ Please See our venue directory for details

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saturday 07 Live music The Dead Ringer From Hell American Meat Loaf tribute. Assembly Hall, Worthing, 8pm, £15/13.50 The Fallen Avatars + The Mitsubishi’s + Zoe Konez Alternative rock night. Providence, 8pm, £1 Fortune Drive + Silvermaker + The Stirring + The Recoil Last date of the NME Fortune Drive tour. Ocean Rooms, 8pm, £6 The Fridge Magnets Super cool 30s-50s jazz swing band. Joogleberry, 8pm, £7 The Good Cuts + Guru Sales Uptempo bluesy rock’n’roll and shambolic indie at this alternative indie night with DJ Tommy ‘The Sauce’ K playing 60s grooves, old soul, mod and indie. Hope, 8pm, £4/3 The Happiness Following their blinding One Happy Riot gig at Audio last month, The Happiness look for another fix of upbeat, insanely happy, and manic driving indie. Plus there’s an open stage between 7-8.30pm. Audio, 7pm, £4/3 Imma + Flinch + Osmosis + Isotopia Pressure Point, 8pm, £4/3 Kovak + Blue Skies + Kidda Local dance rock band with their montly residency, a bagful of dancefloor friendly tunes, and guest bands , plus regular DJ Kidda. The Prince Albert, 8pm, £2 Lemar Fame Academy runner-up who has found true fame and fortune. Brighton Centre, 6.30pm, £23.50 Matt English + Cate Ferris + Toby Barelli Gaslight Club hosted by Matt, a marvellous acoustic blues troubadour. Cate Ferris sings mature folk-jazz songs and is part of the Soundtank collective of musicians and artists. Cella, 7.30pm, £4 Suzi & Los Quattros The Lovesix female fronted punk rock action with TV Smiths backing band. The Engine Room, 7.30pm, £5 The Tony Lewis Band Swing jazz vibes from this singer of The Magic Number. Brunswick, 8pm, £5 That’s Amore Dean Martin tribute with Mark Adams and band. Pavilion Theatre, Worthing, 8pm, £18.50/16.50

Bars and clubs Above Audio Late bar, until 2am Ali Cats Bar Uni-Fi: Nu-skool and Oldskool breaks, 8pm–12am, free Ancient Mariner Late bar, until 2am Aqua Bar Resident DJ 9pm–2am, free Arc Bar Holdup: Brighton’s favourite Indie night.10pm–4am,£5 Audio Stomp Phunk Underground house. 11-4am £tbc The Beach Fever. Disco and funk. 10.30-4am £10/£8 Belushi’s Utopia: 80s classics and club anthems.. £2 selected drinks until midnight. 10pm–3am Caroline Of Brunswick Alternative 80s night 9pm–1am, free Concorde 2. Supercharged Breaks with the Freestylers. 11-3am £10 The Fiddler’s Elbow Late bar, until 3am The Fishbowl Late bar, until 3am Funky Buddha Lounge Buddha Soul Soulful and funky tunes. 10-3am £10/7 Funky Buddha Lounge La Manana. After hours action with Alex T. 3-8am £10 Funky Fish Club New Madeira Hotel Funk, soul and jazz. £4 B4 11pm/£5 after The Globe Late bar, until 3am Gloucester Monkey: The Wild Fruit folks’ Saturday nighter. 10-4am £9/7/5 Hectors House D.I.S.C: Indie/electro. Tim Jenson and residents, 9pm–2am Honey Club Seven Sins: Funky big room house. 10.30-5am £12/7 The Joogleberry Late bar 11am–1pm Koba 24 hour bar! Komedia Bestival 2007 Launch Party. The Cuban Brothers and guests kick off the festival season. 11-3am £13 check with venue before travelling. ➧ Please See our venue directory for details

Ocean Rooms Massacre presents... Zutons DJs (tbc). 11-4am £8/6 Ocean Rooms Rebel With Seduction and Storm. 11-4am £7 Pressure Point One70 : Live drum and bass. 12-late £4/3 Riki Tik Late bar, until 3.30am Suga Qube Qubed. Rare groove and funk, 6pm–9pm, upfront and energetic house, 9pm–late. Sumo Soul Lounge Sliced and diced hip hop, soul and disco. 9-3am £5/3 Volks Psychdelicious. Psy-trance and breaks. 10-5am £5 Western Front Late bar until 3am The Zap. A Night at the Playboy Mansion. Glammed up theme party with special guests. 10.30-5am £12/10

Gay Amsterdam Sauna 3pm-4am. 11am-2am. Aquarium 12pm-11pm. Brighton Oasis Sauna 12pm-7am Bright’n’Beautiful Sauna 12-10pm Bulldog 11am-late. Caledonian Bar Piano bar hosted by Roberta Slak Caledonian 2 Cabaret with Maisie Trolette until 12am Charles Street Bar 12pm-late. Charles Street Club Bliss. Pa from andy scottlee. 2 floor special with guest djs tony armstrong/gabbi goody/jt/alex. 11pm-3am, £3 The Gloucester Monkey. Brighton’s favourite DJs playing some top tunes. 10pm-4am, NUS £5 all night, others £5 before 11pm/£7 before midnight/£9 after. Drinks promos. Harlequin 9pm-4am, free before 11pm/£2 before 12/£5 after Legends Bar Pre-Ignition.11am-5am. Legends Dance Ignition. 11pm-4am. Marine Tavern 12pm-12am. Marlborough Live DJ playing some top ’choons’ from 9pm. 12pm-2am The PV 12pm-1am. Queens Arms Food, wi-fi access and happy hour ’til 7pm. Info: www.queensarmsbrighton.com R-Bar Open 24hrs! Pop videos all night. Great food all day. Discount tickets for Revenge available. Revenge Downstairs: Queercarnage with DJs Dusty O and Nik C. All drinks £2 before 12. 10:30pm-6am, free before 11pm/£5 before 12am/£7 after 12am/£3 after 3am. NUS £3. Star Inn Food 12pm-6pm. Proud To Bear night 9pm. 11am-1am Vavoom open ’til 6am. V2 Club open from 10pm-late. Karaoke until midnight. Members get free entry. The Zone 1pm-12am

Kovak, The Prince Albert, 8pm

Theatre Blood Brothers The hit West End musical comes to Worthing telling the story of twin boys separated at birth who are then reunited by fate and a dark secret kept by their mother. Worthing Connaught Theatre, 2pm, £26.50/£28, and 7.30pm, £28/£29.50 The Decorator An all-star cast in this hilarious farce: Marcia gets a visit from the wife of who she is having an affair with. The wronged missus wants to spill the beans to Marcia’s husband too, but Marcia has an idea: Get the decorator to play her husband so her real hunny is kept in the dark. But it’s never that simple! The Capitol, Horsham. Please call for times and prices High School Musical The English premiere of the stage version of the popular Disney film. The Grease of the 21st Century, experience the fun and romance of High School Musical in this live show. The Old Market. 5pm and 7.45pm £8/£9.50/£12 Rocky Horror Show Following a recordbreaking sell-out in the West End, the Rocky Horror show returns with its raunchy rock’n’roll. Put on the fishnets and stilettos and join Frank and the gang for an unforgettable night. Theatre Royal. 6pm and 9pm £29.50, £26.50, £23.50, £18 Sat early. £32.50, £29.50, £25.50, £20 Sat eve. September Tide Based on Daphne Du Maurier’s classic story about a widow who rejects marriage proposals but finds herself falling for her daughter’s new husband, Evan. Eastbourne Devonshire Park. 2.30pm, 7.45pm, £13.50/£17.50/£19.50, mat: £13.50

Comedy Comedy Club 4 Kids Stand-up comedy tailored for kids – in other words, with the rude bits taken out. Top professional comics perform for their harshest audience to date. Kids. Komedia, 2pm, £6 Kronenbourg Krater Comedy Club The great Junior Simpson headlines tonight's Krater, a man who's been working the circuit and maintaining high standards for years, ably supported by Tim Jeffries and Inder Manocha. Your MC is local Rufus Hound. Komedia, 7pm & 10.30pm, £16 The Treason Show Top notch political and social satire from the crew, offering a mixture of songs, sketches and monologues to make you think and laugh at the same time. Komedia, 8pm, £12.50/10.50

Family and friends Brighton Ghost Walk Popular monthly tour around the city, visiting areas of interest. A great night for believers and non-believers of the supernatural alike. Depart from Brighton Town Hall, Bartholomew Square, The Lanes at 8pm prompt. £6 adults, £3 children Easter Bunny Hunt Search for the Easter bunnies in Wilderness Wood. Easter eggs for all plus a special ‘baby bunny hunt’ for toddlers. Wilderness Wood, (Buxted Station three mles away – ask for walker’s leaflet) Call 01273 481654 for more info. £2.40 children, normal admission for adults. 10am–4.30pm Easter Eggscavation Day two of the fun Easter eggscavation at Drusillas Park. Unearth items left behind by the Easter bunnies in the special eggscavation site and get a prize from Moregg – Drusillas’ giant chocolate-egg-laying chicken. Drusillas Park, for times and prices visit www.drusillas.co.uk or call 01323 847100 Edwardian Aspirations Event for children aged 8 and up. Explore ideas of status and gender roles back in Edwardian times, with drama pieces set in Preston Manor’s beautiful rooms. Please bring along a packed lunch. Preston Manor, 11am–3pm, £7 Radio Club Event for children at Worthing Museum. Discover the fun world of radio in this free drop-in session. Worthing Museum, 01903 221448, 10am–12pm, free

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sunday 08 Live music Acoustic Jam Session Weekly chilled evening of acoustic jamming with PA. Portland, 8pm, free The Bays Return of the improvising rock fusion outfit who never record anything, nor play the same thing twice.Big favourite on the festival circuit for their ability to usually sound interesting and quite trippy. Audio, time and price to be confirmed Beerzone + H8Ball + Sista Fista + 84mm Scottish punk rockers formed by former Intensive Care vocalist Iain Kilgallon. Sing-along street punk. Eastbourne’s H8Ball and Crawley’s 84mm are in support. Concorde 2, 6pm, £8 Carl Greenwood Jazz Brunswick, 3pm, free Fridge Magnets 20s, 30s jazz from this Brighton institution. Neptune, 8.30pm, free Magic, A Kind Of Queen Queen tribute band. Assembly Hall, Worthing, 7.30pm, £14/£12.50 Milky T + Lil’ Lost Lou + Onions For Eyes + F&P Anti-folk, tweecore, lo-fi, DIY evening. Hope, 7.30pm, free Multi Purpose Chemical Engine Room, 7pm, £4 Sarah Haywood + Amy Tinsley + Andrea Kenny Pav Tav, 8pm, free Your Army + Left Hand Red + Mono Best of Brighton bands competition. Pressure Point, 8pm, £1 Soul Reality Soul funk collective. Joogleberry, 8pm, £8

Bars and clubs Above Audio Late bar, until 1am Ancient Mariner Late bar, until 1am Arc Rebel Wild Fruit After Party. Small hours soiree. 3–7am, £6 The Beach Obsession Garage and funky house with MJ Cole. 10.30pm–5am, £8 Concorde 2 Supercharged presents Finger Licken’ With Plump DJs and Soul of Man. 11pm–4am, £13.50 Cosmopolitan Bar The Full Moon pub quiz and Sunday roasts. Quiz starts 7.30pm, roasts 1–6pm Creation Wild Fruit Ugly Betty Fashion Ball. Three-room fancy dress fashion extravaganza. 10pm–3am, £12/10/9/8 The Fiddler’s Elbow Late bar, until 2am Funky Buddha Lounge La Manana Special. Back to back dirty disco and house. 10pm–8am £7/5 The Globe Late bar, until 2am The Harlequin Vinylla Easter Parade. Fetish and BDSM. 10–4am, £10 Honey Club Seven Sins: special pumping house with Ferry Corsten. 10pm–5am The Joogleberry Late bar. Until 12am Koba 24-hour bar The King and Queen Stick It On Bank Holiday Alldayer. Legendary bank holiday session. 3–12am £13 Ocean Rooms. Legends of the Dark Black. Featuring Shabba and MC Fearless. 11–6am, £8 Po Na Na Cavalcade of Pop! Non-stop left-field pop. 10pm–2am, £3.50/£2.50 Suga Qube Carry-on Sunday. Free St. Christopher’s Open mic night, open until 2am Sumo Closing party. The end of an era as DJs prepare the final mash up. 9pm–3am, free The Zap. Front of House Funky electro house. 11–5am, £10/£8 The Zap Sunday School. Funky tribal house. 10–late, £5/£3

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the best in funky house. 10.30pm–3am, £4/£3 Creation Wild fruit Ugly Betty fashion victim party. £12/£10 advance, £9 with flyer before 10.30pm, £9 members and NUS, 10pm–3am Harlequin Easter parade. Fetish lounge club in association with vinylla (www.vinylla.co.uk). Fetish/fantasy dress code applies, no street wear. Advance tickets £10, £12 before 11pm, £13 after 11pm. No entry after 1.10pm–4am Legends Bar 3pm: Lizzy Drip. 11am–5am Legends Dance Embrace.11pm–4am, free Marine tavern 12pm–12am Marlborough Sunday mega-roast lunches 12–7pm plus live acoustic music at 6pm. 12pm–12am The PV The Conversation Killers from 6pm. 12–11pm Queens Arms Super Sunday! Cabaret with Lady Imelda at 5.15pm then Betty’s Karaoke Show. 2:30–11pm R-Bar Cabaret with Sandra on stage at 4.30pm. 6–9pm happy hour. Open until 2am Revenge All pints £2. 10.30pm–3am, £2 before midnight then £3 Star Inn Sunday lunches 12–4pm then Bears’ Beer Bash! 12pm–late Vavoom Chill-out music videos all day. Open till 3am

Comedy Kronenbourg Krater Comedy Club Round the weekend off nicely with top comedian Junior Simpson headlining, with Tim Jeffries and Inder Manocha not skimping on the mirth either. Compered by Stephen Grant. Komedia, 8pm, £9/£6 students Sidesplitters Rob and Skatz headline tonight on Western Road, with talented Doctor Who and Torchwood writer Toby Whithouse opening the show. Plus two new acts sandwiched between them. The Providence, 8pm, £4

Family and friends Car Boot Sale Summer is on its way when the car boot sales start. Every Sunday from now, no stalls before 12.30pm. Plumpton Racecourse, 01273 890383, £10 vans/£8 cars, 50p adults Easter Bunny Hunt Search for the Easter bunnies in Wilderness Wood. Easter eggs for all plus a special ‘baby bunny hunt’ for toddlers. Wilderness Wood, (Buxted Station three miles away – ask for walkers’ leaflet). Call 01273 481654 for more info. £2.40 children, £3.25 adults, 10am–4.30pm Easter Eggscavation Easter fun for kids today at Drusillas Park. Unearth items left behind by the Easter bunnies in the special eggscavation site and get a prize from Moregg, Drusillas’ giant chocolate-egg-laying chicken. Drusillas Park, for opening times and prices visit www.drusillas.co.uk or call 01323 847100 Greyhound racing Afternoon races at the popular Hove venue. Relax in the Sprinters bar or eat at the trackside grill or The Skyline Restaurant which offers a perfect view of the racing. Brighton and Hove Greyhound Stadium, please call 01273 204601 for details

Live music Against All Authority The name says it all – get moshing with this, er, politically charged punk and ska band. Engine Room, 7.30pm, £6 Battle of the Bands Another heat with the grand final taking place later in the year. Come and cast your vote. Joogleberry, 8pm, free Hayseed Dixie Hillybilly outfit who banjo up some heavy metal and rock classics in an utterly irreverent style. Komedia, 8.30pm, £15 Heidi Talbot + Boo Hewerdine + Tola Custy Traditional roots with contemporary influences. The Greys, 8pm, £8 KST Residency Magical. Cella, 7.30pm, £5 Sarah Louise Boyle Shelter fundraiser. Hope, 7.30pm, price to be confirmed ShitDisco + To My Boy Unhinged art rock and pop outfit. To My Boy are a dynamic indie punk outfit with a fevered fanbase. Audio, 8pm, £6 Third Time Lucky + Her Eyes On Mine + Stole Monkey Indie, punk and rock night for ages 14+. Pressure Point, 7pm, £5.50

Bars and clubs Above Audio Late bar, until 1am Ancient Mariner Late bar, until 1am Beach We Love 90s. £2/90p, 10.30pm-3am Belushi’s 9pm–2am, £2 selected drinks, £2 Caramel Funky Buddha Lounge R and B, hip hop and funk. 10.30pm–3.30am, £3/£1 Casablanca 10.30pm-3am, free Cosmopolitan Bar Bring your own games or choose from the selection at the bar. The Fiddler’s Elbow Late bar, until 2am The Fishbowl Late bar, until 2am The Globe Late bar, until 2am Honey Club Cheese and rock double header. 11pm-4am, £4.50/£1.50 The Joogleberry Late bar. 11am–1pm Koba Late bar until 5am Suga Qube 2-4-1 on cocktails, 5pm–2am Volks 10pm–late, £4.50/£3.50

Gay Bulldog 11am-2am Candy Bar Shibby Shabblers. 10pm-2am. £3/£2 Charles Street Club Studio 150. 10.30pm–3am, £1.50 entry, drinks from £1.50 Legends Bar 11am-5am Legends Dance Mojo. 11pm-4am, free. Marine Tavern Elsie’s Chillout. 12pm-12am Marlborough Games and tunes. 12pm-12am Queen’s Arms Food, wi-fi access and happy hour till 7pm. 2:30pm-11:30pm R-Bar £2 pints 9pm-2am. 12pm-2am Revenge Boogaloo Stu’s Shinky Shonky. Free entry and all drinks £2. 10.30pm-3am Star Inn Food 12-3pm and 6-9pm. 11am-11pm. Vavoom Until 4am The Zone 1pm-12am

Theatre Blood Brothers The hit musical telling the story of twin boys separated at birth. Worthing Connaught Theatre, 7.30pm, £26.50/£28 Perfect Pitch Observational comedy about a couple who find the perfect place to pitch their caravan until the neighbours from hell turn up. Eastbourne Devonshire Park, 7.45pm, £13.50–£18 The New Statesman All-new show starring comedy favourite Rik Mayall. Theatre Royal Brighton, 7.45pm, £16/£19/£23/£26

Gay

Family and friends

Bulldog 11am–2am. Candy Bar Kalabash mish-mash. 9pm–morning, £2 Charles Street Bar Sunday lunches. 12–10.30pm Charles Street Club Sunday service. Religion’s new Sunday night party starts tonight playing

Easter Bunny Hunt Wilderness Wood, call 01273 481654 for more info. 10am–4.30pm Easter Eggscavation Unearth items left behind by the Easter bunnies in the eggscavation site and get a prize from Moregg – Drusillas’ giant chocolate-egg-laying chicken. Drusillas Park, visit www.drusillas.co.uk or call 01323 847100

The Bays, Audio, time and price to be confirmed

In partnership with Brighton and Hove Council

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check with venue before travelling. ➧ Please See our venue directory for details

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A-Z venue directory Brighton and Hove Ali Cats 80 East Street, Brighton 01273 220902 Amsterdam 11 Marine Parade 01273 688825 www.amsterdam.uk.com Aqua 23 Waterfront Brighton Marina 01273 819800 Aquarium 6 Steine Street, Brighton 01273 605525 www.pleisure.com Arc 160 Kings Road Arches 01273 770505 Arthouse Gallery 10 Western Road, Hove 01273 770083 Audio 10 Marine Parade 01273 606906 www.audiobrighton.com Bar Bamboogy 78 West Street, Brighton www.creationbrighton.com Barley Mow 92 St George’s Road 01273 682259 The Beach 171–181 Kings Road Arches, Brighton 01273 722272 Belushi’s 10-12 Grand Junction Road, Brighton 01273 202035 Brighton Centre Kings Road, Brighton 0870 900 9100 www.brightoncentre.co.uk Brighton College Eastern Road www.brightoncollege.net Brighton Dome 29 New Road, Brighton 01273 709709 www.brighton-dome.org.uk Brighton Gloucester 27 Gloucester Place 01273 688011 Brighton and Hove Greyhound Stadium Nevill Road, Hove 01273 204601 www.trap6.com/hove Brighton Museum & Art Gallery Royal Pavilion Gardens, 01273 290900 Brighton Peace & Environment Centre Brighton Ecocentre, 39–41 Surrey Street 01273 766610 Brighton Rocks 6 Rock Place 01273 601139 Brighton Women’s Centre 72 High Street, Brighton 01273 698036 The Brunswick 1 Holland Road, Hove 01273 733984 Bulldog, 31 St James’s Street 01273 696996 www.bulldogbrighton.com Candy Bar 129 St James’s Street 01273 622424 www.thecandybar.co.uk Caroline of Brunswick 39 Ditchling Road, Brighton 01273 624434 Casablanca Middle Street, Brighton 01273 321817 Cella at Sanctuary Café 51–55 Brunswick St East, Hove 01273 770006 Charles Street Bar & Club 8 Marine Parade 01273 624091 www.charlesstreetbar.com Cineworld Brighton Marina Village 01273 818094 www.cineworld.co.uk Clair Hall Perrymount Road, Haywards Heath 01444 455440 Concorde 2 Madeira Drive, Brighton 01273 673311 www.concorde2.co.uk Core Club 12–15 King’s Road, Brighton 01273 326848 Corn Exchange 29 New Road, Brighton 01273 709709 www.brighton-dome.org.uk Cornerstone Community Centre Church Road, Hove 01273 327757 Cosmopolitan Bar 29-31 New Steine 01273 682461 The Cowley Club 12 London Road, Brighton 01273 696104 www.cowleyclub.org.uk Creation 78 West Street, Brighton 01273 321628 www.creationbrighton.com Doctor Brighton’s 16–17 Kings Road 01273 328765 www.pleisure.com Dome 29 New Road, Brighton 01273 709709 www.brighton-dome.org.uk Duke of York’s Picturehouse Preston Circus, Brighton 01273 626261 www.picturehouses.co.uk Education Room Brighton Pavilion 01273 296971 Engine Room 5 Preston Street, Brighton 01273 728999 www.engineroomclub.com Enigma 10 Ship Street, Brighton 01273 328439 www.theenigmabrighton.co.uk The Fishbowl 74 East Street 01273 777505 Fitzherberts 25 New Road 01273 682401 Freebutt 1 Phoenix Place 01273 603974 Freemasons 38 Western Road, Hove 01273 732043 Funky Buddha Lounge 169–170 Kings Road Arches, Brighton 01273 725541 Gap Club 61a Western Road, Hove 0844 999 6349 Gardner Arts Centre, University of Sussex campus, Falmer 01273 685861 www.gardnerarts.co.uk The George 5 Trafalgar Street, Brighton 01273 681055 The Globe 78 Middle Street, Brighton 01273 727114 The Greys 105 Southover Street, Brighton 01273 680734 The Hanbury Club 83 St George’s Road, Brighton 01273 605789 Hare & Hounds 75 London Road, Brighton 01273 681163

Harlequin 43 Providence Place, Brighton 01273 620630 www.harlequin-brighton.co.uk Hobgoblin 31 York Place, Brighton 01273 602519 Honeyclub 214 Kings Road Arches, 01273 202807 www.thehoneyclub.co.uk The Hope 10–12 Queen’s Road, Brighton 01273 325793 Hove Museum & Art Gallery 194 Church Road, Hove 01273 290200 Hove Town Hall, Norton Road, Hove 0870 900 9100 www.brighton-hove.gov.uk Jazz Place 10 Ship Street, Brighton 01273 328439 www.thejazzplacebrighton.co.uk Joogleberry Playhouse 14–17 Manchester Street, Brighton 01273 687171 www.joogleberry.com Juggler Bar 21 Western Road, Hove 01273 724195 King and Queen 13 Marlborough Place, Brighton 01273 606207 Komedia Gardner Street, Brighton 01273 647100 www.komedia.co.uk Koo Klub 10 Pool Valley, Brighton 01273 888000 www.kooklub.co.uk Lo Lounge 106 Kings Road, Brighton 01273 715077 Marlborough Bar & Theatre 4 Princes Street, Brighton 07782 278521 www.marlboroughtheatre.co.uk Marine Tavern 13 Broad Street, Brighton 01273 681284 www.harlequin-brighton.co.uk Mint Meeting House Lane 0871 2072 088 Mojo’s Bar & Restaurant 103 North Road, Brighton 01273 622522 New Madeira Hotel 19-23 Marine Parade, Brighton 01273 698331 New Venture Theatre Bedford Place 01273 746118 www.newventure.org.uk Ocean Rooms 1–2 Morley Street, Brighton 01273 699069 Odeon Cinema West Street, Brighton 0871 224 4007 www.odeon.co.uk Ohso Social 250a Kings Road Arches, Brighton 01273 746067 The Old Market Upper Market Street, Hove 01273 736222 www.theoldmarket.co.uk The Park Crescent Pub 39 Park Crescent Terrace, Brighton 01273 604993 Pavilion Tavern 7–8 Castle Square, Brighton 0844 999 6331 Pavilion Theatre 29 New Road, Brighton 01273 709709 www.brighton-dome.org.uk Penthouse (above the Freebutt), 1 Phoenix Place, Brighton 01273 603 974 Pintxo People 95-99 Western Road, Brighton 01273 732323 www.pintxopeople.co.uk Portland Rock Bar 153 Portland Road, Hove 01273 383840 www.portlandrockbar.co.uk Po Na Na Unit 2, 75-79 East Street, Brighton 01273 777904 www.ponana.com Pressure Point 33 Richmond Place, Brighton 01273 702333 www.pressurepoint.me.uk Preston Manor Preston Drove, Brighton 01273 292770 Prestonville Arms 64 Hamilton Road, Brighton 01273 701007 Prince Albert 48 Trafalgar Street, Brighton 01273 730499 The Providence 130 Western Road, Hove 01273 727822 PV 22 Upper North Street, Brighton 01273 325491 www.thepv.co.uk Queen’s Arms 7 George Street, Brighton 01273 696873 R-Bar 7 Marine Parade, Brighton 01273 608133 www.revenge.co.uk Red Roaster Café 1d St James’s Street, Brighton 01273 686668 Rehab Brighton Marina 01273 675007 www.rehabbrighton.com Rendezvous Casino Brighton Marina 01273 605602 www.rendezvouscasino.com Revenge 32 Old Steine, Brighton 01273 606064 www.revenge.co.uk Revue Bar 19 New Steine, Brighton 01273 607456 Riki Tik 18a Bond Street, Brighton 01273 683844 Saqqara 158 North Street, Brighton 01273 779701 Sky Bar 54-55 Meeting House Lane, Brighton www.skybarbrighton.com Star Inn 5–9 Manchester Street, Brighton 01273 601450 Suga Qube 5 Castle Square 01273 770246 Sumo 9–12 Middle Street 01273 749465 Sussex Arts Club 7 Ship Street 01273 778020

Comprehensive list of venues to complement our listings

Theatre Royal New Road 08700 606650 www.theambassadors.com/theatreroyal V2 5 Steine Street, Brighton 01273 609672 Vanilla Bar 73a Western Road, Hove 01273 748182 Vavoom 31 Old Steine, Brighton 01273 603010 Volks The Colonnade, 3 Madeira Drive, Brighton 01273 682828 www.volksclub.co.uk Western Front Near Churchill Square, Brighton 01273 725656 White Horse 30 Camelford Street, Brighton 01273 603726 Wild Fruit @ Creation, 78 West Street, Brighton www.wildfruit.co.uk The Zap Kings Road Arches, Brighton 01273 202407 Zoot Street Bar Queens Road, Brighton 01273 737770 The Zone 33 St James’s Street, Brighton 01273 626442

Around Sussex The Anchor Inn Anchor Lane, Barcombe 01273 400414 www.anchorinnandboating.co.uk Ashdown Forest Broadstone car park, second left from Wychcross Assembly Hall Connaught Theatre Pavilion Theatre, Union Place, Worthing 01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk The Black Horse High Street, Findon, Worthing 01903 872301 Bluebell Railway Sheffield Park Station, East Sussex 01825 720800 Café Blue Pevensey Road, Eastbourne 07834 405675 The Capitol North Street, Horsham 01403 750220 Chichester Festival Theatre Oaklands Park 01243 781312 www.cft.org.uk Clair Hall Perrymount Road, Haywards Heath 01444 455440 Congress Theatre Carlisle Road, Eastbourne 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk

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Devonshire Park Theatre Compton Street, Eastbourne 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Fountain Inn High Street, Handcross 01444 400218 www.fountainpub.co.uk The Half Brick 221 Brighton Road, Worthing 01903 234196 The Hawth Hawth Avenue, Crawley 01293 553636 www.hawth.co.uk Horsham Folk Club The Normandy Centre, Denne Road, Horsham 01306 875653 www.horshamfolkclub.co.uk Jack Horner 80 High Street, Worthing 01903 236427 Malling Community Centre Spences Lane, Lewes 01273 477931 www.mallingcommunitycentre.com Martlets Martlets Hall, Civic Way, Burgess Hill 01444 242888 Royal Hippodrome Theatre 108 Seaside Road, Eastbourne 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Royal Oak Station Street, Lewes 01273 478124 St Thomas à Beckett Church Hall Cliffe High Street, Lewes United Reformed Church Clinton Place, corner of Broad Street, Seaford Winter Garden Theatre Compton Street, Eastbourne 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Worthing Museum & Art Gallery Chapel Road, Worthing 01903 221140 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk Worthing Connaught Theatre Union Place, Worthing 01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk Worthing Pavilion Theatre Marine Parade, Worthing 01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk

■ We try to ensure all event details are correct but regret we cannot be held responsible for any inaccuracies. Please check directly with the venue before travelling ■

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latest

jobs For charity sake Inkfish bosses sentenced to a flan attack It was revenge time at Inkfish in Brighton when staff got the chance to pelt their bosses with an assortment of cream flans and wet sponges. Ben Dale-Gough and his senior colleagues Stavros Stamatakis, Ricardo Eyman and Paul Lane, from the Post Office and Sky accounts, all volunteered to be human targets raising £800 for Red Nose Day.

Charita advice Momma Cherri shares her words of wisdom

Charita Jones, better known as Momma Cherri, recently played host to a group of entrepreneurship students from the University of Brighton. Students came from the university’s campuses in Brighton and Eastbourne to listen to Charita share her story and the secret of her success. Celebrating her first year in Momma Cherri’s Big House this week, Charita charted her career from arriving in London almost 30 years ago as part of a theatre troop through setting up Momma Cherri’s Soul Food Shack in Little East Street in 2001, the first American soul food restaurant in the South East, and quite possibly in the UK. She continued with her life-changing appearance on Gordon Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares, which aired in December 2006, and the move to the Big House. Winner of the Sussex Entrepreneur of the Year at last year’s Sussex Business Awards, Charita has turned her passion for food, family and friends into what has become not just a successful local business but a Brighton institution, and her rising media fame has enabled Charita to share her enthusiasm for American soul food with the country. With the impending launch of Charita’s soul food cookery book in May, published by Absolute Press, more television and radio appearances planned and a restaurant packed with happy customers, Charita certainly has enjoyed the success that budding entrepreneurs dream of achieving. Charita said: “It was really good to host an event which benefited the students. It’s important when you are starting out to take on board both the ups and the downs of running a business. Working with children and young people has always been at the centre of my world and I was thrilled to be asked to present to these guys who show such talent.”

Sales Executive required for busy advertising dept

Brighton / Hove Part-time Administrator £negotiable (15–20 hours) Structural Engineer, c £35k pa Lancing Customer Service Advisor (maternity cover) £14k pro rata Warehouse Manager, £20k pa Worthing Travel Administrator, £14k–£16k pa Customer Service / Outbound Sales Advisors (Warm Leads), £15,017 OTE £24k pa Burgess Hill Stock Allocator, £14k pa

Newhaven Customer Service Administrator (German), c £18k pa QA Assistant, £12k –£14k pa Direct Sales Manager, £26k pa Burgess Hill Mechanical Inspector (nightshift), c £25k pa

To manage the sales for Latest 7 as well as working on other titles. Responsible for managing existing accounts as well as developing new areas of advertising revenue within the magazine group. You will be required to have: • Minimum of two years experience • Proven track record in face to face sales and negotiation skills • Ability to work on own initiative and be highly motivated • Be extremely organised and able to work to deadlines • Excellent customer service skills • Energetic & enthusiastic approach Apply by emailing your CV to lynne@thelatest.co.uk or call Lynne Edwards on 01273 818150 ex. 112 for an informal chat Latest Homes Ltd Unit 1, Level 5 North, New England House New England Street, Brighton BN1 4GH 01273 818150 www.thelatest.co.uk

50 latest jobs

latest homes

hundreds of jobs every week...

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Property Recruitment Specialists

Residential Sales Branch Manager Branch Manager Branch Manager Sales Manager Sales Negotiator Sales Negotiator Sales Negotiator Trainee Negotiator

Uckfield Chichester East Grinstead Seaford Biggin Hill Crawley Reigate Brighton

East Sussex West Sussex Surrey East Sussex Kent Mid Sussex Surrey East Sussex

Residential Letting Letting Manager Letting Manager Letting Negotiator Letting Negotiator

Sutton Horsham Seaford Horsham

Surrey East Sussex East Sussex West Sussex

Property Managers Property Manager Block Manager Block Manager

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Secretarial Part-time Secretary Brighton East Sussex To register a position or find out further details please contact one of our consultants in confidence.

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to maximize your potential call us now on:

0845 130 1188 fax 0845 130 1189

email enquiries@lca-jobs.com

web www.lca-jobs.com

www.oakleyproperty.com

Receptionist Required for our Commercial Property Department at our head office in Brighton. Applicants should be well organised with good secretarial and communication skills. Property experience useful but not essential. No agencies please. CVs to Maria Huff, Oakley Commercial, 23/24 Marlborough Place, Brighton, East Sussex BN1 1UB. Email: mariah@oakleycommercial.com

...to advertise call our sales team on 01273 818150

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SALES AND LETTINGS Top Media Jobs Senior web programmer – Nixon McInnes We need someone who understands that a good developer does more than just write solid code. You understand that a specification is more than a two-page Word document that nobody actually reads. You know that to properly test something you have to do more than just play with it for a bit and see if it breaks.

Senior Web Designer – Nixon McInnes Want to be the champion of design and front end coding at Nixon McInnes? We are looking for a talented Web Designer who can also produce xhtml/css templates and has experience working with Flash.

Junior A/C Exec / Office Admin – Blue Design & Marketing Ltd Supporting the client services team, your organisational skills are top notch. From sourcing quotes and managing filing systems, to ordering ink cartridges, you relish the opportunity to get involved in all aspects of the business.

Junior Designer – Blue Design & Marketing Ltd Graphic design graduate, looking for either your first role or you may have some commercial experience under your belt. You'll have ideas of your own but will be ready to get stuck in and be taken under the wing of our creative director.

Account Manager – Blue Design & Marketing Ltd Minimum three years agency experience. Responsible for managing a portfolio of accounts, from briefing through to delivery. Accountable for budgets, timelines, creative and brand management as well as profitability.

Freelance Flash Developers – Tim Neill Associates Ltd We have won several new large eLearning projects and urgently need experienced freelance Flash developers to help our full-time team with content development over the next few weeks.

Full-time Flash Developers – Tim Neill Associates Ltd

URGENTLY REQUIRE AN

EXPERIENCED FULL-TIME SALES NEGOTIATOR FOR FIVEWAYS OFFICE As an established successful Independent family run company we are seeking to employ the type of person who appreciates the benefits of being part of a team rather than just a number! As part of a group of five offices, the successful applicant will be based at the Fiveways office covering the Preston Park, Patcham, Hollingdean, Hollingbury and Fiveways area. Experience in this field is essential for this position as are self-motivation, enthusiasm and professionalism. Smart appearance and clean driving licence are also a requirement. In return we offer excellent working conditions in newly refurbished offices and the opportunity to pursue a worthwhile career with good remuneration. If you feel this is just the position you could be looking for and fit the above criteria please send your CV in the first instance to: Dania Chaston, Manager Halls Estate Agents 253b Ditchling Road, Brighton BN1 6JD Tel: 01273 236006

TNA is urgently looking for experienced Flash developers to take on interactive media projects, working at our Lewes office. These are full time, salaried positions in a relaxed and friendly environment with loads of creative freedom.

Business Development/Canvasser – NOMAD We require an individual with the ability to ‘open doors’; establish rapport, build relationships and further develop NOMAD as the recruiting partner of new clients.

Freelance print designer – Harrison + Co Creative Ltd Creative Designer needed for brand identity and print design projects. Required skills include: Adobe InDesign, Adobe Illustrator, Adobe Photoshop, good project management skills

Data Analyst – Spannerworks Spannerworks is looking for a Data Analyst to interpret web analytics, specifically relating to traffic derived from search engines, into actionable business tasks.

Business Development Manager – Spannerworks Spannerworks require a Business Development Manager for the generation and development of both inbound and outbound new business opportunities.

Account Manager / Director – Spannerworks Spannerworks require an Account Manager to proactively retain and develop the client relationship and income to Spannerworks. You will be responsible for a wide portfolio of blue-chip clients and manage your portfolio as though you are managing your own business.

Flash Designer (Games/Anim) – Littleloud Littleloud are looking for a specialist designer with core skills in delivering high-end entertainment content using Flash. The post will require animation skills, character design, game design and interface development.

TWO PART-TIME ADMINISTRATORS/RECEPTIONISTS Independent Letting Agent require two part-time administrators/receptionists to work in a busy office in Hove. The successful applicants must be computer literate with good knowledge of Word, possess good communication skills and be able to work on own initiative. Good rate of pay and hours negotiable. Apply with CV to:

News Mind Orchard Captures Prestigious Award with ZOO Magazine Brighton based Mind Orchard, working with EMAP the largest publisher of magazines in the UK, have won Best Online Publishing Campaign with The Internet Advertising Awards run by the “The Web Marketing Association” for the re-development and modernization of ZOO magazine online.

Toby Carrington Carrington Estates 210 Church Road Hove BN3 2DJ

Worth continues team growth with 2 new recruits Worth, the Brighton based digital communications agency, is continuing its successful start to the year by recruiting two Production Assistants. In the last three months, Worth has expanded its permanent team to 30 and has plans to grow the team to 35 to support the agency’s increasing workload.

info@carrington-property.co.uk

01273 777680 52 latest jobs

hundreds of jobs every week...

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724000

LETTINGS 109 Western Rd, Hove

HARRINGTONS LETTINGS NEEDS YOU!

SENIOR NEGOTIATOR/SALES MANAGER

Experienced Lettings Negotiator OTE £40,000+

FULLY EXPENSED CAR

WE are Harringtons, who since 1993 have been letting properties in Brighton and Hove. In the last three years, our growth has been far greater than anticipated, and we now need to recruit an experienced negotiator.

YOU

are sitting down reading this advert believing that you can do a bigger job than your current one, and that you are ready for the challenge… and the rewards that come from taking on more responsibility. You will have a proven track record that demonstrates your ability to sell, drive profitability, showing innovation, think on your feet, deal with problems as they arise, and act in a professional manner with both colleagues, prospects and customers. You believe in hard work, the ethos of the team, are results driven, take pride in your job and believe your efforts will be rewarded where it matters the most – IN YOUR POCKET! If you believe you meet the criteria we are looking for then please send your CV by email to charlotte@harringtonslettings.co.uk or to Harringtons, 109 Western Road, Hove, East Sussex BN3 1FA. Tel: 01273 724000

jonathan rolls NEGOTIATOR REQUIRED

01273 684997

Well established independent estate agents require an experienced negotiator to join our team. Must have a minimum of two years’ experience, be the kemp town enclosures highly motivated and able tospecialists work as part of a team. A clean driving licence is also essential.

Due to the successful launch of our company, we are now seeking an experienced estate agent to join our team. The chosen candidate will have a proven sales record in the industry and be capable of making a valuable contribution to a vibrant, forward-thinking company. Excellent career prospects with good basic salary, company car, commission and bonus.

Contact Jason Brand in confidence.

Brand Vaughan Estate Agents 110 St George’s Road, Kemp Town, Brighton, BN2 1EA Tel: 01273 683 111 e-mail: jasonbrand@brandvaughan.co.uk

KINGS FRAMERS Are looking to train a full time framer and sales person, to work in our busy Lewes shop. Applicants must be highly motivated, smart and have an excellent manner. You will need the ability to work closely within our friendly team and have the initiative to be unsupervised. Immediate start, permanent position. Apply CV only to Peta King, 57 High Street, Lewes, East Sussex, BN7 1XE

Apply with CV to: Matt Evans Jonathan Rolls Estate Agents 244 Eastern Road Kemp Town Brighton East Sussex BN2 5TA Tel: 01273 684997 Web: www.jonathanrolls.com Email: matt@jonathanrolls.com

LETTINGS NEGOTIATOR/ADMINISTRATOR Full-time person required to provide support to busy property management company. Must have good computer skills and excellent telephone manner. Some experience is required. We are looking for a hard working, motivated individual with an interest in property and people.

Please send CV to: Ms I Sleziak Ellman Henderson 43 Church Road, Hove, East Sussex, BN3 2BE

...to advertise call our sales team on 01273 818150

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latestTV Dani on TV

She says it how she sees it

Windfall Five Life, Good Friday, 6 April A group of people all start a syndicate and happen to win the largest jackpot their state has seen. A person starts to sue because someone stole the dollar she put into the pot and now she isn’t getting any of the winnings. Um, I think… If the girl goes to court every one has their money frozen, so no one gets to touch the winnings! This is like an American Neighbours, but part of the storyline is winning the lottery. So all-in-all it’s not that great. Paternity tests, buying fast cars, lawsuits, married-and-still-at-school, missing girls. It’s all very dramatic but totally uninteresting. Maybe I just have a really short attention span or maybe I just don’t like these American soaps. Whatever it is, they don’t do anything for me. And this one, regardless of the lottery win is no different from the rest. All the single characters are gorgeous and all the married ones are kinda okay. None of them ever wear the same thing twice or seem to need a wee. They are either ecstatically happy or desperately miserable. The grass is always cut to perfection and everyone’s hair always looks amazing. In this thrilling episode a girl has gone missing and her sister and her boyfriend (at least I think it’s her boyfriend) are trying to find her. A meeting of all the winners is called and it starts to get nasty when the girl who claims she has had her money stolen turns up and starts pointing fingers. A lady is being sent to rehab and people aren’t sure who the father of her baby is. Then the baby starts having trouble breathing and it turns out it is suffering from substance withdrawal. You would have thought that with a plot like that it would be enough to keep me interested, but it doesn’t and I can’t quite put my finger on why. If you have been watching this from the start and you’re enjoying it, good for you, but some of you might not like it. It all depends on what kind of thing you like. Perhaps it would be a good idea to give it a try and find out for yourself. The idea of winning the lottery isn’t such a bad thing, and I’m surprised it hasn’t been used as the subject for other programmes.

Films on TV

Movies on the box this week

TUESDAY 3

SATURDAY 7

The Bourne Supremacy

At First Sight ★★★✩✩ (1999, BBC2, 12am. Dir Irwin Winkler) Loosely based on a true story, this formulaic romantic effort tells the story of Virgil (Val Kilmer), a blind man who falls in love with wayward architect Mira Sorvino. He gets his sight back, but finds that he can’t process the sudden rush of visual information from the outside world.

★★★✩✩ (2004, ITV2, 10pm. Dir Paul Greengrass) Bourne (aka Matt Damon) is set up to take the fall for a botched CIA op resulting in many people suddenly being hot on his tail. Partial to hanging on to as much of his tail as possible, there’s plenty of bang here for your action-movie buck. Victoria Nangle

WEDNESDAY 4 Resident Evil: Apocalypse

★★✩✩✩ (2004, Five, 9pm. Dir Alexander Witt ) If you loved the computer game this was based on then this is an enjoyable but forgettable film – but even if you don’t have a console it’s worth a glance. Simply the tale of a girl, Milla Jovovich, battling against zombies and worse in a fight for survival. Fun and silly. VN

THURSDAY 5 The Hotel New Hampshire

Noriega: God’s Favorite

★✩✩✩✩ (2000, BBC2, 2.55am. Dir Roger Spottiswoode) Bob Hoskins is Panamanian dictator Manuel Antonio Noriega in a wouldbe-controversial biopic that ends up a misbegotten mess. The brutality of his regime is there on screen but several weird attempts at black comedy undercut any serious polemic. MC

SUNDAY 8 Office Space ★★★★✩ (1999, BBC2, 12am. Dir Mike Judge) Too American to be anything but a cult film over this side of the pond, Mike Judge’s satire on the world of work is still entertaining. Computer programmer Ron Livingstone has to negotiate strange colleagues, a dead-end job and a romance with Jennifer Aniston all played out around the water cooler. MC

★★★★✩ (1984, BBC2, 11.50pm. Dir Tony Richardson) This is compelling and at times downright twisted as it follows one family’s tale over many decades. It has a brilliant cast, headed by Beau Bridges with his children being played by Jodie Foster, Rob Lowe and Seth Green, plus Nastassja Kinski as a girl who would rather be a bear. VN

MONDAY 9

FRIDAY 6

Breakfast on Pluto ★★★✩✩

The Machinist ★★★★✩ (2004, Sky Movies Indie, 9pm. Dir Brad Anderson) Christian Bale dropped over 63lbs to play the machinist of the title, an insomniac factory worker whose paranoid night-time fantasies start to creep into the daylight hours, for this inventive modern noir. There are some classy thrills along the way plus a satisfying denouement, which ties up all the loose ends. Matt Chittock

Frida ★★★★✩ (2002, BBC2, 10.55pm. Dir Julie Taymor) Selma Hayek delivers a tour de force as troubled Mexican artist Frida Kahlo – an exceptional talent suffering from horrific back injuries and a fiery marriage to fellow traveller Diego Rivera. Darkly erotic (the movie doesn’t shy away from screening her bisexual appetites), it’s a sometimes powerful, sometimes astonishing biopic of an often overlooked modernist. MC

54 latest 7

3–9 Apr

(2005, Sky Movies Indie, 9pm. Dir Neil Jordan) A hit-and-miss examination of The Troubles wearing glittery heels – a softly spoken Cillian Murphy stars as a sensitive trannie naively dealing with life in the early 70s. Nice soundtrack, but ultimately the plot meanders too much to be really affecting. MC Life’s a drag: Breakfast on Pluto, Mon, Sky Movies Indie 9pm

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tuesday 3 Horizon BBC2, 9pm Some say illnesses can be a blessing or a curse. Nick Van Boss was an award-winning pianist by the age of 20 and is sure this is down to his Tourettes. So he goes on a quest to find out if his illness made him who he is, on the way visiting a schizophrenic painter and a few other alternative geniuses.

Eunuchs Channel 4, 10pm Thought they only existed in ancient stories of harems did you? In that case take a look at this revealing insight into a littleknown phenomenon following the daily lives of four different men as they come to terms with their castration. Apparently this is a procedure carried out on 1000s of men in Europe and the USA.

Dark Roots: The Anna Nicole Smith Story E4, 11.05pm She had her own reality TV show, was an actress, Playboy bunny and modelled Gap clothes, but her story of humble beginnings, billionaire husband and untimely death leaving behind her baby daughter as mixed-up heir with uncertain paternity would make Jackie Collins blush.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Animal 24:7 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.45 Car Booty 12.15pm Cash In The Attic 1.00 BBC News; Weather 1.30 Regional News And Weather 1.40 Neighbours 2.05 Doctors 2.35 Diagnosis Murder 3.20 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3.25 Lazytown 3.50 The Cramp Twins 4.00 50/50 4.30 The Slammer 5.00 Blue Peter 5.25 Newsround 5.35 Neighbours

6.00am Fimbles 6.25 The Story Makers 6.35 Balamory 7.00 In The Night Garden 7.30 Mama Mirabelle’s Home Movies 7.45 Tommy Zoom 8.00 Do Something Different 8.45 Arthur 9.10 Mona The Vampire 9.35 Watch My Chops 10.00 Best Of Friends 10.30 Living It 11.00 FILM: Old Yeller (1957) 12.30pm Working Lunch 1.00 Animal Park 2.00 Escape To The Country 3.00 Through The Keyhole 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Ready Steady Cook 5.15 The Weakest Link

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 2.00 Midsomer Murders 3.00 Daily Cooks 4.00 Poirot 5.00 Soapstar Superchef

6.05am Making It 6.10 The Hoobs (x2) 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Just Shoot Me (x2) 8.55 The OC 9.55 Friends (x2) 10.55 Musicool 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 3 Minute Wonder: Heavy Petting 12.35 FILM: The Return Of The Musketeers (1989) 2.25 Life Begins Again 3.30 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The Paul O’Grady Show

6.00am Soccer AM: The Best Bits 7.00 WWE Afterburn 8.00 Cricket World Cup 9.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 10.00 Cricket World Cup 11.00 Ford Monday Night Football 1.00pm Cricket World Cup 2.00 LIVE Cricket World Cup (x2) 11.00 Revista De La Liga 12.00am Masters Football: Northern Masters 3.00 Revista De La Liga

6.00 Eggheads Quiz time, it’s the quiz time. With a yabba dabba doo time. Wilma! What’re the answers! 6.30 Great British Menu Fourteen of the nation’s top chefs compete to convince the French that we can match them in gastronomic prowess. More mouth-watering morsels. 7.00 The Apprentice Series in which candidates compete for the position of apprentice to multimillionaire Alan Sugar. And shows just how backbiting and vicious people can be over a job. Lovely. 8.00 The Underdog Show Celebs are paired with rescue dogs in a Crufts-style competition. Another doggy duo will exit the competition eliminated by a trio of professional judges and the viewers. 9.00 Horizon See highlights. 9.50 Red Stag Rut Documentary about the annual autumn red deer rut in the New Forest, a wildlife spectacle that can end in epic battles between the largest males. 10.00 The Underdog Show: Results Bye bye woofer and celeb. 10.30 Newsnight Jeremy Paxman introduces comprehensive coverage of today’s important national and international news stories. 11.20 The Secret World Of Haute Couture ‘Spensive clothes, innit? 12.20am Joins BBC News 24 2.00 GCSE Bitesize Revision 4.00 GCSE Bitesize Revision

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Jimmy proposes to Kelly. Ah, ain’t true love grand? 7.30 UEFA Champions League Quarter Final: PSV Eindhoven v Liverpool Steve Rider presents coverage of the first leg of the quarter-final between PSV Eindhoven and Liverpool from the Philips Stadium, Eindhoven, where the 2005 European champions earned a draw in the group stage back in September. Analysis comes from Andy Townsend and Robbie Earle, commentary by Clive Tyldesley and David Pleat, and reports from Gabriel Clarke. Watch every live ITV Champions League match on itv.com 10.00 Marbella Belles Louise Marriott throws a lavish party as she tries to introduce her friend Barbara to some of Marbella’s finest bachelors, and Lisa and Joe Johnson travel to Milan with their baby Blue to celebrate their fifth wedding anniversary – without the help of a nanny. Not wise. 10.30 ITV News; Weather 11.00 UEFA Champions League Highlights Best bits from earlier. 12.00am ITV Play: Glitterball 3.40 Soul Forever 4.35 The Jules And Lulu Show 5.00 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.00am Tickle, Patch And Friends 6.25 Franny’s Feet 6.40 The Clangers 6.50 Hi-5 7.20 The Beeps 7.35 Little Princess 7.50 Make Way For Noddy 8.05 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.40 Old Bear Stories 8.50 Mio Mao 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 Five News 12.00pm Home And Away 12.30 The Diet Doctors – Inside & Out 1.30 Russell Grant’s Postcards 1.45 FILM: Is There Life Out There? (1994) 3.35 Five News Update 3.40 FILM: Ordinary Miracles (2005) 5.30 Five News 6.00 Home And Away Rachel’s world is turned upside-down when she discovers that Kim is going to be a father. Months of jealousy in your future missy. 6.30 Everybody Hates Chris 7.00 Five News 7.15 Big Ideas That Changed The World This edition looks at the issue of equality, and examines the centuries-old struggle of black people in America, from the days of slavery right up to the present day. 8.00 The Anastasia Mystery: The True Story Documentary exploring the real story of one of the world’s most fabled royal families. 9.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Catherine and Nick investigate a case in which a guilty man was proven innocent. 10.00 CSI: Miami The team must rely on a video game for their next clue as to where a group of young gunmen will strike next. 11.00 Law And Order: Special Victims Unit An aspiring psychologist is raped and murdered in a convenience store, and all fingers point to her patients. 12.00am Arrest And Trial 12.25 Arrest And Trial 12.50 NBA Basketball 4.20 Now Is The Time: Night Of Combat – Kick Boxing 5.10 Rolex Grand Am

6.00 BBC News And Weather 6.30 South East Today; Weather 7.00 Orangutan Diary Swung, ate bananas, did a song and dance number with a man cub – the usual. 7.30 EastEnders As Rob and Dawn flaunt their new relationship, Jane suggests a way for May to get revenge. ‘Cos it’s not like she ever did the wrong thing with a certain Grant Mitchell. Oh no. 8.00 Holby City Faye finds herself drawn into the darker side of Kyla and Harvey’s relationship. Use the Force Faye, stay in the light. 9.00 Life On Mars Sam is woken in the middle of the night by a drunk DCI Hunt, who thinks he’s killed someone. Surely you should know if you’ve killed someone. The not breathing thing is a dead giveaway. 10.00 BBC News; Regional News; Weather 10.35 ONE Life Documentary looking at the rise in relationships between younger men and older women. Sugar mummies rock! 11.15 Amazing Grace: The True Story Of The Song Rick Wakeman traces the history of Amazing Grace. 12.05am Cricket World Cup Highlights 1.10 Sign Zone: See Hear 1.55 Hairy Bikers Ride Again 2.25 Seaside Rescue 2.55 An Island Parish 3.25 Joins BBC News 24 5.00 Cricket World Cup Highlights

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Zoe finds it hard to tell Will she is going to New York, especially when he receives some other bad news. But he’s a baddie! 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder: Busker Symphony 8.00 Selling Houses Abroad Property expert Andrew Winter gives British homeowners advice on how to sell their foreign properties, including an old olive mill in Abruzzo, Italy, a termite-ridden home in the Dordogne and a house on the Costa del Sol. 9.00 Get Your Act Together With Harvey Goldsmith The Opera Anywhere company is run by Mike and Vanessa Woodward, with the aim of bringing obscure opera to the masses. But after five years they are yet to make a penny, and their latest production is panned by the critics. Will the stubborn couple listen to Harvey’s advice? 10.00 Eunuchs See highlights. 11.05 Kidnapped Knapp discovers that the Cains might have known that Leopold was a target for kidnapping. 12.45am PartyPoker.com Poker Nations Cup 1.45 Freesports On 4 2.15 KOTV Classics 3.10 World Cup Skiing 4.10 Freesports On 4 5.05 Water Stories 5.10 Scrappy Races

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics Oz Style 6.30 High Altitude 7.00 Aerobics Oz Style 7.30 High Altitude 8.00 Fishing: Bass Fishing 9.00 Sailing: America’s Cup 9.30 High Altitude 10.00 World Motor Sport 12.30pm Sailing: America’s Cup 1.00 Speedway: Elite League 3.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 4.00 Ford Monday Night Football 6.00 High Altitude 6.30 Revista De La Liga 7.30 LIVE Greyhounds 10.00 Poker: PartyPoker.com Sports Stars Challenge 1.30am Sailing: America’s Cup

Sky Sports 3 6.30am FEI Equestrian World 7.00 Speedway: Elite League 9.00 The Premiership Years 11.00 Aerobics Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Masters Football: Northern Masters 3.00 The Premiership Years 5.00 WWE Smackdown 7.00 ASP World Tour 8.00 Gymnastics 8.30 Johnny Mowlem’s Racing Travels 9.00 Sailing: America’s Cup 9.30 Spirit Of Yachting 10.00 Sports Unlimited 11.00 Gymnastics 11.30 Johnny Mowlem’s Racing Travels 12.00am Women’s Pool (x3) 3.00 Gymnastics 3.30 Johnny Mowlem’s Racing Travels

Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

More4

Living

12.00pm Cirque De Celebrite 1.30 Futurama 2.00 Malcolm In The Middle (x2) 3.00 Brainiac: Science Abuse 4.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 6.00 Stargate Atlantis 7.00 The Simpsons (x4) 9.00 Battlestar Galactica 10.00 Street Wars 11.00 Cold Case 12.00am Brainiac: Science Abuse

7.00pm Honey We’re Killing The Kids Revisited 7.30 Help! My Dog’s As Fat As Me 8.00 Castaway: The Last 24 Hours 8.30 The Real Hustle 9.00 F*** Off I’m Ginger 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Ideal 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps (x2) 12.45am F*** Off I’m Ginger 1.40 Ideal

7.00pm Wedding Rites: In Sickness And In Health 8.00 The World 8.30 Never Mind The Full Stops 9.00 The League Of Gentlemen Christmas Special 10.00 Life On Mars 11.00 Never Mind The Full Stops 11.30 Wedding Rites: In Sickness And In Health 12.30am Cooking In The Danger Zone 1.00 The Waiting Room

1.30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 2.35 The Ricki Lake Show 3.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 4.30 Sally Jessy Raphael 5.15 Airline USA 5.45 Judge Judy 7.00 Planet’s Funniest Animals 7.30 American Idol (x2) 9.00 WAGs Boutique 10.00 FILM: The Bourne Supremacy (2004) 12.05am FILM: The Mummy (1999)

3.10pm Tales Of The Unexpected 3.40 Movies Now 3.50 Cagney And Lacey 4.50 Quantum Leap 5.50 Due South 6.50 Lovejoy 8.00 The Bill 9.00 Northern Lights 10.00 Northern Lights... Behind The Scenes 11.00 An Audience With Bob Monkhouse 12.25am Lovejoy 1.30 Robin Of Sherwood 2.30 Anna Lee

3.35pm Smallville 4.30 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 The War At Home 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 The OC 10.00 Get Your Act Together: The Showdown 10.30 Sex In Court 11.05 Dark Roots: The Anna Nicole Smith Story. See highlights. 12.10am Scrubs (x2)

1.05pm Deal Or No Deal 2.00 ER 3.00 Third Watch 4.00 FILM: The Desperados (1969) 5.35 My Place In The Sun 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 More4 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares (x2) 11.00 Shrink Rap 12.05am NYPD Blue 12.50 Countdown

1.00pm Will & Grace (x2) 2.00 Bewitched (x2) 3.00 Missing 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 The X Files 8.00 The Real Extras 9.00 New Most Haunted 10.00 Outrageous Fortune 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am The X Files 1.00 New Most Haunted 2.00 The L Word

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies 1 Sky Movies 2 Film4

TCM

12.00pm Doctor Who 1.00 Last Of The Summer Wine (x2) 2.20 Some Mothers Do ‘Ave ‘Em 2.55 The Good Life 3.35 Open All Hours 4.15 Porridge 4.55 The ATeam 6.00 Doctor Who 7.00 Open All Hours (x3) 9.00 Sharpe 11.05 Men Behaving Badly (x2) 12.25am Have I Got 2001 For You 1.05 Room 101

2.00pm Frasier (x2) 3.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 4.00 King Of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Less Than Perfect (x2) 7.00 Scrubs (x2) 8.00 That 70s Show (x2) 9.00 Scrubs (x2) 10.00 Sex And The City 10.35 South Park (x2) 11.35 The World Stands Up 12.05am Live At The Fringe

6.00pm American Chopper 7.00 Mythbusters 8.00 How Do They Do It? (x2) 9.00 Deadliest Catch 10.00 World’s Lost Tribes 11.00 Crimes That Shook The World 12.00am Mythbusters 1.00 Guilty Or Innocent? 2.00 Forensic Detectives 3.00 World’s Lost Tribes 3.50 Deadliest Catch (x2) 5.30 How It’s Made

11.00am FILM: Faultline (2004) 1.00pm Star Trek 2.00 The Lost World 3.00 FILM: The Lost World (1998) 5.00 Tru Calling 6.00 The Lost World 7.00 Roswell 8.00 Tru Calling 9.00 FILM: The I Inside (2003) 10.50 Medium 11.50 Erotic Misadventures Of The Invisible Man 1.40am FILM: Post Impact (2004)

10.00am A Cinderella Story (2004) 11.40 Roll Bounce (2005) 1.35pm Jungle Boy (1993) 3.05 Scooby Doo In Where’s My Mummy (2005) 4.25 A Cinderella Story (2004) 6.05 Roll Bounce (2005) 8.00 Casanova (2005) 10.00 The Man (2005) 11.30 Blade: Trinity (2004) 1.30am Lords Of Dogtown (2005)

7.00am A Yank At Oxford (1938) 8.45 Love Me Or Leave Me (1955) 11.00 Two Weeks In Another Town (1962) 1.00pm Stay Away, Joe (1968) 3.00 The Yearling (1946) 5.25 Tick... Tick... Tick (1970) 7.20 The Law And Jake Wade (1958) 9.00 The Detective (1954) 11.10 The Hill (1965) 1.30am Sitting Target (1972)

12.40pm A Young Connecticut Yankee In King Arthur’s Court (1994) 2.20 A Father’s Son (1999) 4.00 The Dinosaur Hunter (1999) 5.40 The Making Of: Bean 2 6.10 Air Bud: World Pup (2000) 8.00 Dark Water (2005) 10.00 Goal! (2005) 12.00am White Noise (2004) 1.40 Sunshine: Sky Movies Special

1.00pm On Moonlight Bay (1951) 2.55 A Letter To Three Wives (1949) 5.05 Three Secrets (1950) 7.00 Congo (1995) 9.00 Planes, Trains And Automobiles (1987) 10.40 28 Days Later (2001) It’s the end of the world as we know it... with zombies. 12.55am Sunshine Special 1.05 Girlfight (2000)

056_LS315_TV_Wed

3/30/07

11:21 AM

Page 1

wednesday 4 I Know What You Ate Last Summer Five, 8pm More telly obsessed with how we’re all going to die. This takes six problematically overweight British teens and stops their junk food, dumping them in an eight week pioneering wilderness weight-loss course in California, the land of the stick thin. Great adolescence, mate.

City Lights ITV1, 9pm Robson Green and Mark Benton are back together in this followup to the popular comedy drama Northern Lights. The hapless pair unwittingly witness a gangland execution and in helping the police end up being offered places in the Witness Protection Programme for their entire families. In London.

Britain’s Worst Teeth BBC3, 9pm Brits have acquired a reputation for bad teeth. Austin Powers told the world and it’s never changed its mind. These four cases won’t challenge any national dental preconceptions, with bulimiainduced-vomit rotted teeth and sugar addictions that don’t look like stopping. This is My Fair Lady for dentists. Sends a chill.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Fimbles 6.25 The Story Makers 6.35 Balamory 7.00 In The Night Garden 7.30 Mama Mirabelle’s Home Movies 7.45 Tommy Zoom 8.00 Do Something Different 8.45 Arthur 9.10 Mona The Vampire 9.35 Watch My Chops 10.00 Best Of Friends 10.30 Living It 11.00 FILM: Bad News Bears (1976) 12.35pm The US Masters Official Review 1.30 Working Lunch 2.00 Escape To The Country 3.00 Through The Keyhole 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Ready Steady Cook 5.15 The Weakest Link

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 2.00 Midsomer Murders 3.00 Daily Cooks 4.00 Poirot 5.00 Soapstar Superchef

6.10am The Hoobs (x2) 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Just Shoot Me (x2) 8.55 The OC 9.55 Friends (x2) 11.00 Musicool 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 3 Minute Wonder: Heavy Petting 12.35 FILM: The Adventures Of Robin Hood (1938) 2.25 Life Begins Again 3.30 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The Paul O’Grady Show

6.00am Revista De La Liga 7.00 WWE Heat 8.00 Cricket World Cup 9.00 Revista De La Liga 10.00 Cricket World Cup 11.00 Poker: PartyPoker.com Sports Stars Challenge 1.00pm Cricket World Cup 2.00 LIVE Cricket World Cup 7.00 LIVE Football: UEFA Champions League 10.30 You’re On Sky Sports 11.30 Trans World Sport 12.30am European Tour Weekly 1.00 Poker: PartyPoker.com Sports Stars Challenge 3.00 You’re On Sky Sports

6.00 BBC News And Weather 6.30 South East Today; Weather 7.00 Orangutan Diary Wanna walk like you, talk like you... Steve helps out at the place where young orangutans learn the skills that will equip them for a life in the wild. 7.30 Inside Out Surprising real-life stories from familiar places. Sounds like a Jerry Springer-style ambush. 8.00 Watchdog Consumers get the full Nicky Campbell representation against the big bad providers. Grr. 8.30 Car Wars Doc series following Manchester’s elite Tactical Vehicle Crime Unit - 20 officers specially trained in catching gangs who use stolen cars to commit burglaries, robberies and ram raids. Baaa-aaa. 9.00 The Apprentice Gizza job. 10.00 BBC News; Regional News; Weather 10.35 The National Lottery Draws 10.40 New Street Law Jack and Laura defend a man accused of murdering a burglar. The CPS are determined to label the killing as racist but there is something even more sinister at the heart of this. 11.40 Cricket World Cup Highlights 12.45am FILM: Up The Front (1972) 2.15 Sign Zone: Jimmy’s Diaries 2.45 The Retreat 3.45 My Life As A Child 4.15 Women On Fire 4.45 Joins BBC News 24 5.00 Cricket World Cup Highlights

6.00 Eggheads It’s a quiz-type quiz thing. In other words: a quiz. 6.30 Great British Menu Fourteen of the nation’s top chefs compete to convince the French that we can match them in gastronomic prowess. Of course! Nothing can beat a Sunday afternoon roast with good company. Best British tradition. 7.00 Golf: 2007 US Masters Preview Gary Lineker looks ahead to the 71st Masters tournament in Augusta. Why is an ex-footballer crisp fanatic commenting on golf? 7.30 Rick Stein’s Food Heroes: Another Helping Rick Stein and Chalky enjoy Irish hospitality. 8.00 Neneh And Andy: Dishing It Up Food series featuring Neneh Cherry and Andi Olive. 8.30 Sweet Baby James James Martin explores his love of puddings. 9.00 Natural World Simon King continues with his attempt to return an orphaned cheetah cub to the wild. 9.50 Eagle Valley Wildlife doc looking at the world’s largest gathering of magnificent bald eagles. 10.00 The Apprentice: You’re Fired What went wrong? 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Louis Theroux: The Most Hated Family In America Scary Americans who think they’re right. 12.20am FILM: Trees Lounge (1996) 2.00 BBC Learning Zone: Schools: GCSE Bitesize Revision

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Jo uses Andy’s arson secret to get one up on Katie. You’ve already got him, girl! No need to be extra horrid. 7.30 Coronation Street Steve’s parenting skills impress Michelle. The Morton kids get busted in the Rovers. Joanne tells Hayley a dark secret from her past. 8.00 The Bill Heaton sets his sights on bringing down his nemesis, Ray Moore - and gets closer to Met press officer, Mia Perry in the process. Gina agrees to spend the night with her married lover Peter Harris, with dire consequences. It’s always a bad idea to play with somebody else’s toys. 9.00 City Lights See highlights. 10.00 Get A Grip Ben Elton comes to ITV1 in a brand new comedy series which pairs the multi-award winning one with Popworld’s Alexa Chung. Bizarre combination. 10.30 ITV News; Weather 11.00 Deadline Ten celebrities are given the fiendish task of producing their own brand-new weekly celebrity magazine under the leadership of editor Janet Street-Porter, picture editor Darryn Lyons and copy editor Joe Mott. 12.05am ITV Play: Glitterball 4.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 5.00 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Zoe is excited about her trip to New York, but Will does something unthinkable. What? Again? 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder: Busker Symphony 8.00 Relocation, Relocation Allison and Mark swapped their small city flat for the Kent coast due to the birth of their daughter. Find out if their seven-bedroom former Mayor’s residence has become the home they were dreaming of. 9.00 Grand Designs Builder Dean Marks attempts to completely renovate a derelict Grade II listed church and turn it into a home. 10.00 Desperate Housewives Surprise marriage proposals are in the air at the grand opening of Pizzeria Scavo. 11.05 Gordon Ramsay’s F Word Gordon Ramsay’s food show. 12.05am The View: Video Exclusive 12.10 The Charlotte Church Show 1.00 My Name Is Earl 1.25 The War At Home 1.50 The View: Video Exclusive 1.55 The Osbournes (x2) 2.50 Bob And Margaret 3.20 Reasons To Be Cheerful 3.25 The Jamie Kennedy Experiment 4.15 Reasons To Be Cheerful 4.25 Wild Things 5.10 Monster Garage

6.00 Home And Away Sally is on the long road to recovery. Rocco fears that it is only a matter of time before Sally remembers who her attacker is. 6.30 Everybody Hates Chris Chris finds Julius’s copy of Playboy, takes it to school and charges kids to look. Then someone nicks it. Chris didn’t really think through the dangers of this cunning plan. 7.00 Five News 7.15 Lemur Island Wildlife series following the lives of two warring troops of ring-tailed lemurs in Madagascar. Action stations. 8.00 I Know What You Ate Last Summer Six overweight British teenagers battle with the bulge in a US boot camp. See highlights. 9.00 FILM: Resident Evil: Apocalypse (2004) Starring Milla Jovovich. The Hive has been reopened leading to the contamination of Raccoon City by another plague of zombies. Not again. 10.55 Disorderly Conduct US documentary series featuring footage of real-life car crashes, drug busts and high-speed pursuits. 11.55 PartyPoker.com European Open III You think you’ll just watch a single hand before turning in for the night. Before you know it it’s almost half one and work seems like an alarmingly close prospect. 1.25am Major League Baseball 4.30 NHRA Drag Racing

6.00am Aerobics Oz Style 6.30 High Altitude 7.00 Aerobics Oz Style 7.30 High Altitude 8.00 Sports Unlimited 9.00 Sailing: America’s Cup 9.30 Spirit Of Yachting 10.00 Sports Unlimited 11.00 Sailing: America’s Cup 11.30 Gymnastics 12.00pm Johnny Mowlem’s Racing Travels 12.30 Sailing: America’s Cup 1.00 Gymnastics 1.30 Revista De La Liga 2.30 Football: UEFA Champions League (x8) 6.30 Total Rugby 7.00 European Tour Weekly 7.30 LIVE Football: UEFA Champions League 10.00 Total Rugby 10.30 European Tour Weekly 11.00 Sailing: America’s Cup 11.30 Total Rugby 12.00am Masters Football: Southern Masters 3.00 Sailing: America’s Cup

Sky Sports 2

Sky Sports 3 7.00am ASP World Tour 8.00 Gymnastics 8.30 Johnny Mowlem’s Racing Travels 9.00 The Premiership Years 11.00 Aerobics Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Masters Football: Southern Masters 3.00 The Premiership Years 5.00 WWE The Bottom Line 6.00 WWE Afterburn 7.00 LIVE Cricket World Cup 11.00 Pool: World Cup Of Pool 12.00am (x2) 1.00 Total Rugby 1.30 Sailing: America’s Cup 2.00 Pool: World Cup Of Pool (x2)

Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

More4

Living

12.00pm Cirque De Celebrite 1.30 Futurama 2.00 Malcolm In The Middle (x2) 3.00 Brainiac: Science Abuse 4.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 6.00 Stargate Atlantis 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Futurama (x2) 9.00 The Dresden Files 10.00 Lost 11.00 Cold Case 12.00am Brainiac: Science Abuse

7.00pm Spendaholics 8.00 Castaway: The Last 24 Hours 8.30 Conning The Conmen 9.00 Britain’s Worst Teeth. See highlights. 10.00 FILM: Highlander: Endgame (2000) 11.35 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps (x2) 12.35am Britain’s Worst Teeth 1.30 American Dad (x2)

7.00pm Child Of Our Time 8.00 The World 8.30 All Mod Cons 9.00 Racism: A History 10.00 Storyville 11.50 The Sky At Night 12.20am Racism: A History 1.20 Cooking In The Danger Zone 1.50 The Waiting Room 2.20 Living With The Future 2.50 Racism: A History 3.50 Cooking In The Danger Zone 4.20 Close

2.35pm The Ricki Lake Show 3.20 The Jeremy Kyle Show 4.25 Sally Jessy Raphael 5.15 Airline USA 5.45 Judge Judy 7.00 Planet’s Funniest Animals 7.30 Movies Now 7.40 FILM: The Mummy (1999) 10.00 Deadline 11.00 Coronation Street 11.30 FILM: The Mummy Returns (2001) 2.00am Deadline

1.30pm Lovejoy 2.35 Never The Twain 3.05 Tales Of The Unexpected 3.40 Film File 3.50 Cagney And Lacey 4.50 Quantum Leap 5.50 Due South 6.50 Lovejoy 7.55 Bramwell 9.00 Jane Austen... Behind The Scenes 10.00 Entrusted 12.00am Lovejoy 1.00 Heartbeat 2.00 Robin Of Sherwood 2.55 Is It Legal?

2.05pm Switched 2.35 One Tree Hill 3.35 Smallville 4.30 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 The War At Home 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Ugly Betty 10.00 Miss Match 11.00 Desperate Housewives 12.00am Scrubs (x2) 1.00 Smallville 1.45 Miss Match 2.30 Porn: A Family Business (x2)

3.00pm Third Watch 4.00 FILM: Salome (1953) 5.55 3 Minute Wonder (x2) 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 More4 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 Britain’s Worst Weather 10.00 Grand Designs: Trade Secrets 10.30 Father Ted 11.00 Shrink Rap 12.05am NYPD Blue 12.50 Countdown

11.00am Charmed (x2) 1.00pm Will & Grace (x2) 2.00 Bewitched (x2) 3.00 Missing 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 The X Files 8.00 America’s Next Top Model 9.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 10.00 Criminal Minds 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am The X Files

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

7.45am Some Mothers Do ‘Ave ‘Em 8.25 EastEnders 9.00 The Bill 10.00 Casualty 11.00 The A-Team 12.00pm Doctor Who 1.00 Sharpe 3.00 Sharpe 5.00 The ATeam 6.00 Doctor Who 7.00 Open All Hours (x3) 9.00 Dalziel And Pascoe 11.20 Men Behaving Badly (x2) 12.40am Dalziel And Pascoe 2.55 The House Of Eliott

3.00pm Two And A Half Men (x2) 4.00 King Of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Less Than Perfect (x2) 7.00 Scrubs (x2) 8.00 That 70s Show (x2) 9.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 10.00 Sex And The City 10.35 South Park (x2) 11.35 The World Stands Up 12.05am Live At The Fringe

1.00pm Deadliest Catch 2.00 The FBI Files 3.00 Forensic Detectives 4.00 Time Team 5.00 How It’s Made (x2) 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 Mythbusters 8.00 How Do They Do It? 8.30 How It’s Made 9.00 How Do They Do It? (x2) 10.00 Big Machines 11.00 Lobstermen: Jeopardy At Sea 12.00am Mythbusters

11.00am FILM: The Lost World (1998) 1.00pm Star Trek 2.00 The Lost World 3.00 FILM: Hercules In New York (1970) 5.00 Tru Calling 6.00 The Lost World 7.00 Roswell 8.00 Tru Calling 9.00 Heroes 10.00 FILM: The Haunting (1999) 12.10am FILM: Emmanuelle 2000: Jewel Of Emmanuelle (2000)

6.00am The Palm Beach Story (1942) 7.30 Pal Joey (1957) 9.30 Rebel Without A Cause (1955) 11.30 Giant (1956) 2.50pm Monkey Business (1952) 4.40 Pal Joey (1957) 6.35 Classics Close Up 7.00 Rebel Without A Cause (1955) 9.00 Giant (1956) 12.20am Irma La Douce (1963)

4.00pm The Four Hundred Blows (1959) 6.00 China’s Hollywood 7.00 Lai See (2007) 7.20 When We Were Kings (1996) 9.00 Barton Fink (1991) 11.00 Apres Vous (2003) 1.00am The Eighth Day (1996) 3.00 China’s Hollywood

1.00pm Mr Smith Goes To Washington (1939) 3.35 Genevieve (1953) 5.15 A Matter Of Life And Death (1946) David Niven righting the world. 7.15 The Man With One Red Shoe (1985) 9.00 Changing Lanes (2001) 10.50 Sunshine Special 11.00 A Life Less Ordinary (1997) 1.05am The Dancer Upstairs (2002)

11.00am Sunday In New York (1963) 1.00pm The Private Lives Of Elizabeth And Essex (1939) 3.00 The Little Hut (1957) 4.45 Live A Little, Love A Little (1968) 6.30 The Prize (1963) 9.00 The Wings Of Eagles (1957) 10.55 Valley Of The Kings (1954) 12.30am Hercules, Samson And Ulysses (1964) 2.10 Lolita (1962)

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thursday 5 Mark Of Cain Channel 4, 9pm From the pen of BAFTA awardwinning writer Tony Marchant comes this tale of two 18-yearold privates serving in Basra together, full of the flighty dreams of heroic stories and trophies. Until reality sets in. Real warfare generally doesn’t feature David Niven looking dashing or George Clooney being suave. Reality, eh?

House Five, 9pm Remember Joel Grey who performed an Oscar-winning turn in Cabaret back in 1972? Played the spooky MC that made your spine tingle. Well, here he is playing an old man who just wants House to let him die. Never the obliging kind, he fights Joel tooth and nail. House doesn’t know what’s wrong with him yet.

Father Ted More4, 10.30pm No matter how many calls of ‘drink, feck, girls’ are made, the magic of Father Ted never grows old. This classic has Father Stone visiting, the least talkative priest in all the islands. Coming for his annual holiday, the resident priests can hide but they cannot escape his tedium. Not even when he’s hit by lightning.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Animal 24:7 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.45 Car Booty 12.15pm Cash In The Attic 1.00 BBC News; Weather 1.30 Regional News And Weather 1.40 Neighbours 2.05 Doctors 2.35 Diagnosis Murder 3.20 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3.25 Lazytown 3.50 The Cramp Twins 4.00 50/50 4.30 The Underdog Show On CBBC 5.00 Blue Peter 5.25 Newsround 5.35 Neighbours

6.00am – 9.50 CBeebies 10.00 Best Of Friends 10.30 Living It 11.00 FILM: 3 Ninjas: High Noon At Mega Mountain (1998) 12.30pm Working Lunch 1.00 Animal Park 2.00 Escape To The Country 3.00 Through The Keyhole 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Ready Steady Cook 5.15 The Weakest Link

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 2.00 Midsomer Murders 3.00 Daily Cooks 4.00 Poirot 5.00 Soapstar Superchef

6.10am The Hoobs (x2) 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Just Shoot Me (x2) 8.55 The OC 9.55 Friends (x2) 10.55 Musicool 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 FILM: This Happy Breed (1944) 2.30 Life Begins Again 3.30 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The Paul O’Grady Show

6.00am Tickle, Patch And Friends 6.25 Franny’s Feet 6.40 The Clangers 6.50 Hi-5 7.20 The Beeps 7.35 Little Princess 7.50 Make Way For Noddy 8.05 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.40 Old Bear Stories 8.50 Mio Mao 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 Five News 12.00pm Home And Away 12.30 How Not To Decorate 1.30 Russell Grant’s Postcards 1.45 FILM: Gunfight In Abilene (1967) 3.25 Five News Update 3.30 FILM: Chuka (1967) 5.30 Five News 6.00 Home And Away Belle struggles to deny her feelings for Drew. Good pecs do not a good boyfriend make. 6.30 Everybody Hates Chris Comedian Chris Rock narrates this sitcom based on his early life in Brooklyn. 7.00 Five News 7.15 How Not To Decorate Colin and Justin tackle the house with the worst lounge in Britain. Removing the floral wallpaper seems the best solution to the bad décor - until the wall comes off too. Tim-ber! 8.00 Ann Maurice: Interior Rivalry House Doctor Ann Maurice oversees a contest to choose a top new interior-design talent. 9.00 House See highlights. 10.00 Shark Stark takes on the challenging case of a prominent surgeon who stands accused of murdering his wife - but there is no body or apparent motive. Tricky. 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation A roadside murder turns out to be the ultimate case of mistaken identity, and requires the team to explore the world of transsexuals. 12.00am Football Night 1.00 French Football 2.00 Dutch Football 3.30 Football Argentina 5.10 Football Argentina

6.00am You’re On Sky Sports 7.00 Sailing: America’s Cup 7.30 Total Rugby 8.00 Cricket World Cup 9.00 Trans World Sport 10.00 Cricket World Cup 11.00 Trans World Sport 12.00pm Total Rugby 12.30 LIVE Sailing: America’s Cup 5.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 5.30 Boots N All Special 8.00 LIVE Super League 10.00 Football: Dubai Masters Cup 1.00am Super League 3.30 Guinness Rugby Club 5.00 Sailing: America’s Cup

6.00 BBC News And Weather 6.30 South East Today; Weather 7.00 Orangutan Diary Steve travels out to rescue a tiny baby orangutan being illegally held in a village. 7.30 EastEnders Phil and Billy take great pleasure in making Ian’s life as difficult as possible. Ah, such nostalgia for the menacing Mitchells. 8.00 Waterloo Road Jack has the chips stacked against him in the final interviews for the permanent headship. Shouldn’t have met the interview committee in the canteen then, should he? 9.00 Hotel Babylon Charlie’s day goes from bad to worse as he fends off the police and a criminal gang, and keeps a secret from Rebecca big enough to jeopardise their relationship. James plays host to a potentially disastrous wine-tasting challenge with a beautiful widow. 10.00 BBC News; Regional News; Weather 10.35 Golf: The US Masters Gary Lineker presents continued live coverage. Foooore! Ow! 12.00am FILM: A Vow To Kill (1994) 1.35 Sign Zone: Panorama 2.05 Return To Lullingstone Castle 2.35 Mission Africa 3.05 Sleep Clinic 3.35 Women On Fire 4.05 Joins BBC News 24

6.00 Eggheads Questions. Answers. Do you know the second things that match with the first things in this clever quiz? 6.30 Great British Menu Fourteen of the nation’s top chefs compete to convince the French that we can match them in gastronomic prowess. 7.00 My Life As A Child Three girls face the consequences of their parents’ actions. Clara (11) from Oxfordshire comes to terms with her mum’s old affair; Kyra (9) from London wants her mum to get married and Danielle (10) from Hertfordshire is feeling left out by her family. 7.30 Sleep Clinic Zzzzz. Hurumph. 8.00 Hairy Bikers Ride Again The hirsute gastronomes are in Argentina, dividing their time between the fullon urban buzz of Buenos Aires and the beauty of a traditional estancia. 8.30 It’s Not Easy Being Green Dick and James revisit would-be green gardeners in Bath. 9.00 Golf: The US Masters Gary Lineker presents golfing. Cool. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Desi DNA Asian arts and lifestyle magazine. 11.50 FILM: The Hotel New Hampshire (1984) Starring Rob Lowe, Jodie Foster, Beau Bridges. 1.35am Joins BBC News 24 2.00 BBC Learning Zone: Schools: GCSE Bitesize Revision 4.00 GCSE Bitesize Revision

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Debbie ruins Kelly’s engagement party. That bright young girl has truly embraced her Dingle roots. Let the mayhem commence. 7.30 UEFA Cup Quarter-Final: Sevilla V Tottenham Matt Smith presents live coverage of the first leg of Tottenham’s UEFA Cup quarter final against Sevilla. Martin Jol’s men have set an impressive record by winning all eight of their UEFA Cup games this season, but Sevilla will be hoping to become the first club since 1986 to successfully defend the cup. Jon Champion and David Pleat provide the commentary. 10.00 Corrie In The Dock As Tracy Barlow stands trial for the murder of her boyfriend, we go behind the scenes with actress Kate Ford to reveal the story behind the street’s latest legal drama, and also remember some of the Street’s other days in court. The line-up includes Mark Eden, Wendi Peters, and Charlie Lawson. 10.30 ITV News; Weather 11.00 Meridian Soccer Night 11.30 The Way We Were A nostalgic look back in time. 12.00am UEFA Cup Highlights 1.00 ITV Play: Make Your Play 4.10 Make Me Perfect 5.00 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Zoe finds it hard to forgive Will after her plans to go to film school in New York were suddenly changed. Dump the cad! 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder: Busker Symphony 8.00 A Place In The Sun Amanda Lamb offers advice to people buying property abroad on a budget of just £80,000. Lora and John Wilcox want to swap the Isle Of Wight for Andalusia in southern Spain. Don’t think the Isle will fit in the space. 8.30 Chaos At The Chateau The hotel is finally open but Ann and David don’t have the necessary official paperwork to be trading. Red tape tied in a pretty bow. Helpful. 9.00 Mark Of Cain See highlights. 10.50 FILM: Shallow Grave (1994) Starring Ewan McGregor, Christopher Eccleston, Kerry Fox. Macabre tale of three flatmates who discover a dead body and a suitcase full of money. Black comedy. 12.35am 4Music Presents... My Chemical Romance 1.05 FILM: Stephen King’s Sleepwalkers (1992) 2.40 Animal Farm 3.40 Dispatches: Undercover Prisoner 4.35 The Insider 5.05 3 Minute Wonder: 5.10 Countdown 5.55 Making It

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics Oz Style 6.30 High Altitude 7.00 Aerobics Oz Style 7.30 High Altitude 8.00 Watersports World 9.00 Sailing: America’s Cup 9.30 Irish Greyhound Racing 10.00 Pool: World Cup Of Pool (x2) 12.00pm Irish Greyhound Racing 12.30 European Tour Weekly 1.00 Pool: World Cup Of Pool (x2) 3.00 Sports Unlimited 4.00 European Tour Weekly 4.30 Total Rugby 5.00 WWE Special: Hall Of Fame 6.00 Guinness Rugby Club 7.30 LIVE Darts: Premier League 11.00 Netball: Super League 1.00am Guinness Rugby Club 2.30 Football: Dubai Masters Cup

Sky Sports 3 9.00am The Premiership Years 11.00 Aerobics Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm The Premiership Years 2.00 Total Rugby 2.30 Irish Greyhound Racing 3.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 3.30 The Premiership Years 5.30 LIVE Football: Dubai Masters Cup 8.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 9.00 Sailing: America’s Cup 10.00 WWE Late Night Raw 12.00am Extreme Championship Wrestling 1.00 Sailing: America’s Cup 2.00 Darts: Premier League

Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

More4

Living

12.00pm Cirque De Celebrite 1.30 Futurama 2.00 Malcolm In The Middle (x2) 3.00 Brainiac: Science Abuse 4.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 6.00 Stargate Atlantis 7.00 The Simpsons (x4) 9.00 Bones 10.00 Cold Case (x2) 12.00am Brainiac: Science Abuse 1.00 Stargate Atlantis 1.50 Very Worst...

7.00pm Spendaholics 8.00 Castaway: The Last 24 Hours 8.30 Rush Hour 9.00 My Big Breasts And Me 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 The Real Hustle 11.00 Conning The Conmen 11.30 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps (x2) 12.30am My Big Breasts And Me 1.25 The Real Hustle 1.55 Conning The Conmen

7.00pm Sounds Of The Sixties 7.10 The Avengers 8.00 The World 8.30 Once A Soldier 9.00 Soul Britannia 10.00 Classic Soul At The BBC 11.00 Soul Britannia At The Barbican 12.00am Once A Soldier 12.30 Never Mind The Full Stops 1.00 Cooking In The Danger Zone 1.30 The Waiting Room

1.00pm Emmerdale 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show 2.35 The Ricki Lake Show 3.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 4.25 Sally Jessy Raphael 5.10 Airline USA 5.40 Judge Judy 6.30 WAGs Boutique 7.30 FILM: The Mummy Returns (2001) 10.00 Deadline 11.00 Supernatural 12.00am Sally Morgan: Star Psychic

12.00pm Robin Of Sherwood 1.00 Lovejoy 2.00 Never The Twain 2.35 Tales Of The Unexpected (x2) 3.40 Cagney And Lacey 4.40 Rising Damp 5.15 Film File 5.25 Quantum Leap 6.25 Lovejoy 7.30 The Two Ronnies 8.30 Rising Damp 9.00 The Wyvern Mystery 10.20 Hack 11.20 Lovejoy 12.25am Heartbeat

2.00pm Switched 2.30 One Tree Hill 3.30 Smallville 4.30 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 The War At Home 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 ER 10.00 Sex In Court 10.30 FILM: The Brady Bunch Movie (1995) 12.10am Scrubs (x2) 1.10 Smallville 2.00 Sex In Court 2.30 ER 3.20 Switched

3.00pm Third Watch 4.00 FILM: Sea Of Sand (1958) 5.50 3 Minute Wonder (x3) 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 More4 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 Grand Designs 10.00 Grand Designs: Trade Secrets 10.30 Father Ted. See highlights 11.00 Shrink Rap 12.05am Without A Trace

1.00pm Will & Grace (x2) 2.00 Bewitched (x2) 3.00 Missing 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model: Return To The Runway 7.00 The X Files 8.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 9.00 CSI: Miami 10.00 Boston Legal 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am The X Files 1.00 Boston Legal

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

3.00pm The Thin Blue Line 3.40 Alistair McGowan’s Big Impression 3.50 Only Fools And Horses 5.00 The A-Team 6.00 Doctor Who 7.00 Only Fools’ Top 40 Moments 9.00 Jim’ll Fix It Strikes Again 9.30 TV Now And Then 10.15 Only Fools And Horses 11.20 Men Behaving Badly 12.00am Jim’ll Fix It Strikes Again

3.00pm Two And A Half Men (x2) 4.00 King Of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Less Than Perfect (x2) 7.00 Scrubs (x2) 8.00 That 70s Show (x2) 9.00 Everybody Hates Chris (x2) 10.00 Sex And The City 10.35 South Park (x2) 11.35 The World Stands Up 12.05am Ardal O’Hanlon Live

1.00pm Deadliest Catch 2.00 The FBI Files 3.00 Forensic Detectives 4.00 Time Team 5.00 How It’s Made (x2) 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 Mythbusters 8.00 How Do They Do It? 8.30 How It’s Made 9.00 My Shocking Story 10.00 World’s Lost Tribes 11.00 Extreme Medical Stories 12.00am Mythbusters

3.00pm FILM: Faultline (2004) 5.00 Tru Calling 6.00 The Lost World 7.00 Roswell 8.00 Tru Calling 9.00 A Town Called Eureka 10.00 FILM: The Frighteners (1996) 12.10am FILM: Emmanuelle’s Private Collection: Sex Goddess (2004) 2.00 FILM: The Mating Habits Of The Earthbound Human (1999)

10.35am Barefoot In The Park (1967) 12.25pm Hondo (1953) 1.55 Modern Times (1936) 3.25 City Lights (1931) 5.00 Classics Close Up 5.25 Hondo (1953) 7.00 Barefoot In The Park (1967) 9.00 Barbarella (1967) 10.40 House Of Usher (1960) 12.15am Tales Of Terror (1962)

4.00pm Jules Et Jim (1961) 6.00 Galapagos 7.00 I Heart Huckabees (2004) 9.00 Two Days In The Valley (1996) 11.00 36 (2004) 1.00am I Heart Huckabees (2004) Quirky comedy starring Dustin Hoffman and Lily Tomlin. 3.00 Galapagos

1.00pm A Matter Of Life And Death (1946) 3.00 Carrington VC (1954) 5.00 Heaven Can Wait (1978) Warren Beatty holds off death for a bit to make things right. 6.55 Local Hero (1983) 9.00 Master And Commander: The Far Side Of The World (2003) 11.30 Natural Born Killers (1994) 1.50am Focus (2001)

7.15am Once A Thief (1965) 9.00 The Tender Trap (1955) 11.00 Angels With Dirty Faces (1938) 12.55pm Old Acquaintance (1943) 3.00 Welcome To Hard Times (1967) 4.55 Ride, Vaquero! (1953) 6.45 Little Women (1949) 9.00 Yentl (1983) 11.30 The Rounders (1965) 1.05am Alfred The Great (1969)

Classics

Indie

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3/30/07

11:22 AM

Page 1

friday 6 The Insider Channel 4, 7.30pm Clover Stroud’s life has been dominated by her fight to secure funding for the care of her mother, who was left severely brain-damaged after an accident. In this controversial opinionpiece she argues that doctors’ should have to consider the repercussions on keeping such victims alive. Thoughtful stuff.

4 Music: My Space Presents: Faithless Channel 4, 12.45am OK so they may not be the trendiest of acts, but how many other bands do you know who can get a stadium-full of people dancing to tunes which take in anti-war lyrics and nods to buddhism? This live set should have you bogling round your living room in no time.

Manchester Passion BBC3, 7pm The greatest story ever told gets the Manc treatment in this modern re-telling of the Passion set in Manchester. Usual suspects on the soundtrack include Oasis (left), The Smiths and Joy Division and making up the cast are Darren Morfitt as Jesus plus ex-James frontman Tim Booth as Judas.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.00 Animal 24:7 9.45 Who Do You Say I Am? 10.45 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.30 Cash In The Attic 12.30pm BBC News; Weather 12.50 Regional News And Weather 1.00 Neighbours 1.25 Diagnosis Murder 2.10 ‘Allo ‘Allo! 2.35 Keeping Up Appearances 3.05 Last Of The Summer Wine 3.35 FILM: The Prince Of Egypt (1998) 5.05 FILM: 102 Dalmatians (2000)

6.00am Fimbles 6.25 The Story Makers 6.35 Balamory 7.00 In The Night Garden 7.30 Mama Mirabelle’s Home Movies 7.45 Tommy Zoom 8.00 Do Something Different 8.45 Arthur 9.10 Mona The Vampire 9.35 Watch My Chops 10.00 Best Of Friends 10.30 Living It 11.00 Animal Park 12.00pm Davis Cup Tennis 3.00 Through The Keyhole 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Ready Steady Cook 5.15 The Weakest Link

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 60 Minute Makeover 11.30 Dickinson’s Real Deal 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 2.00 Midsomer Murders 3.00 Daily Cooks 4.00 Poirot 5.00 Soapstar Superchef

6.00am The Hoobs (x2) 6.50 Freshly Squeezed 7.20 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.50 Friends 8.25 T4 On The Beach 11.45 Friends (x2) 12.50pm FILM: Watership Down (1978) 2.25 Life Begins Again 3.30 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The Paul O’Grady Show

6.30 South East Today; Weather Regional news magazine. 7.00 Orangutan Diary Michaela Strachan and Steve Leonard present a series featuring orphaned and rescued orangutans in Borneo. 7.30 As BBC1 8.00 EastEnders Ian asks Dot to look after Pauline’s ashes. 8.30 My Family Sitcom. An unusual request from a couple whom Susan and Ben met on holiday leads to chaos in the Harper household, and Susan finally discovers who Kenzo’s father is. 9.00 FILM: Starsky And Hutch (2004) Affectionate spoof based on the classic 1970s TV show. Two cops in San Francisco suspect that an outwardly-legitimate businessman is secretly involved in drug-running and murder. Assisted by their street informer, they plan an undercover sting to entrap the crime lord and his gang. 10.35 BBC News; Regional News; Weather 10.55 Golf: The US Masters Continued live coverage of the second round from Augusta. Colin Montgomerie, David Howell, Paul Casey and Luke Donald are expected to lead the British challenge as the cut is reached. 12.00am FILM: Knock Off (1998) Martial arts thriller. 1.30 Joins BBC News 24

6.00 Eggheads Quiz show. 6.30 Great British Menu The quest continues to find Britain’s best dishes. 7.00 Wainwright’s Walks Four-part series in which Julia Bradbury explores the work of Britain’s greatest fell walker and author, Alfred Wainwright. 7.30 Bill Oddie Goes Wild The birdwatching comedian looks at wildlife around Britain. 8.00 Christine’s Garden It’s June and there is already a hose pipe ban in place. 8.30 Gardeners’ World The Easter weekend is one of the busiest of the gardening year, and Berryfields is no exception. 9.00 Golf: The US Masters Gary Lineker presents live coverage of the second round from Augusta. 10.55 FILM: Frida (2002) Biopic of the bold and controversial life of artist Frida Kahlo, which earned an oscar nomination for Salma Hayek in the main role. 12.50am FILM: The Great Gatsby (2000) Made-for-TV film adaptation of F Scott Fitzgerald’s melancholic novel about the jazz age. At the centre of the story is Jay Gatsby, whose lust for money and power conceals a deeper passion, his love for Daisy, the woman he met in his early youth. 2.20 Star Trek 4.00 Malcolm In The Middle

6.00 You’ve Been Framed! This edition spotlights camping disasters, soldiers looking silly and kung fu chaos, and in Frame A Friend, Harry looks back over the best of viewers’ practical jokes captured on camera. 6.30 Meridian Tonight Local news magazine. Including Meridian weather. 6.45 ITV Evening News; Weather The latest national and international news. 7.00 Emmerdale Grayson has to tell Perdy that she’s had a hysterectomy. 7.30 Coronation Street There’s shock as Underworld gets raided – but what will police find?. 8.00 Airline At Gatwick, lookalikes of Kylie Minogue, Naomi Campbell and Britney Spears board a flight to Prague, as they escort the flamboyant Dame Kitty Glitter and Lady Elizabeth James to the opening of Dame Kitty’s new club. 8.30 Jane Austen’s Emma Dramatisation by Andrew Davies of the classic Austen story. 10.45 ITV News; Weather 11.00 WAGs Boutique June Sarpong referees between the two teams of footballing fashionistas. 12.00am ITV Play: Make Your Play Catch ITV’s interactive game show to win big. 4.10 60 Minute Makeover 5.00 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.00 The Simpsons Marge gathers her family together for some quality time. 6.30 Hollyoaks After a hungover Zoe refuses to accept his apologies, Will spies on her and Jessica talking about him. 7.00 Channel 4 News Including sport and weather. 7.30 The Insider Topical current affairs series. See highlights. 8.00 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away Susan Benton from Exeter searches for a permanent home in northern Spain. 9.00 Ugly Betty Betty tries to help Daniel recover from his broken heart by setting him up on a date with a supermodel. 10.00 The Charlotte Church Show Charlotte is joined in the studio by Skins star Nicholas Hoult, Katie Price and Black Eyed Peas singer Fergie. 10.50 Balls Of Steel Thaila Zucchi preys on men in the park. 11.40 Transmission With T-Mobile Music show from Edinburgh. 12.45am 4 Music: My Space Presents: Faithless. See highlights. 1.10 4 Music: The JD Set Presents: I Like Trains 1.25 Goalissimo! 2.20 KOTV 2.50 Freesports On 4 3.20 Trans World Sport 4.15 Water Stories 4.25 Velux 5

6.00 Home And Away Drew is stunned by Belle’s reaction when he tells her he is still in love with her. Jack makes a promise to protect Sam and Rory. 6.30 Everybody Hates Chris When Julius decides that the best Father’s Day gift he can receive is spending the day alone, an upset Rochelle decides to take the kids out to places Julius would never go. 7.00 Five News National and international news with John Suchet. 7.30 Mean Machines Featuring submarines from World War II to the attack submarine, HMS Turbulent. 8.00 Killer Whale Attack 9.00 NCIS The commander in charge of a shipment of nuclear weapons is kidnapped. 10.00 Law And Order: Criminal Intent Goren and Eames investigate when a prison guard is murdered. 11.00 Tourettes On The Job: Hidden Lives Documentary about people who have had to overcome Tourette’s syndrome in order to succeed in the workplace. 12.00am Prison Break Michael, Lincoln, Sucre and Aldo Burrows make a run for the getaway plane – but Mahone has other ideas. 1.00 Indycar Racing 1.50 World Supercross Grand Prix 2.40 World Motocross 3.30 V8 Supercars 4.20 NHRA Drag Racing

6.00am Trans World Sport 7.00 Sailing: America’s Cup 8.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 8.30 LIVE Rugby Union: Super 14 10.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 11.00 Football: UEFA Champions League (x2) 12.00pm LIVE Football League (x2). Coverage from the Coca-Cola Championship, as Southend United face Colchester United at Roots Hall, kick-off 12.30pm. 5.00 LIVE Super League 7.00 LIVE Ford Football Special 10.00 Football League 11.30 Premier League Preview 12.00am Ford Football Special 1.30 Football League 3.00 Premier League Preview 3.30 Ford Football Special 5.00 Premier League Preview 5.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics Oz Style 6.30 High Altitude 7.00 WWE Raw 9.00 Football: Dubai Masters Cup 12.00pm High Altitude 12.30 NBA Action 1.00 LIVE Sailing: America’s Cup 3.30 Gillette World Sport 4.00 British Motocross Championship 5.00 Premier League Preview 5.30 Gillette World Sport 6.00 Rugby Union: Super 14 8.00 Super League 10.00 Rugby Union: Super 14 12.00am Super League 2.00 Tennis: Davis Cup 2007

Sky Sports 3 6.00am ATP Tennis 6.30 Super League 9.00 The Premiership Years 11.00 Aerobics Oz Style 11.30 Darts: Premier League 3.00pm The Premiership Years 5.00 WWE Raw 7.00 Netball: Super League 9.00 Sailing: America’s Cup 10.00 WWE Late Night Smackdown 12.00am WWE Late Night Bottom Line 1.00 Sailing: America’s Cup 2.00 Rugby Union: Super 14 4.00 Race World 5.00 Sailing: America’s Cup

Matt Chittock

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

More4

Living

12.00pm Cirque De Celebrite 1.30 Futurama 2.00 Malcolm In The Middle (x2) 3.00 Best Of Brainiac: Science Abuse 4.00 Stargate SG-1 5.00 The Simpsons (x7) 8.30 Crash Test Dummies 9.00 FILM: The Bodyguard (1992) 11.30 Cold Case 12.30am Best Of Brainiac: Science Abuse

7.00pm Manchester Passion. See highlights. 8.00 Freaky Eaters 9.00 Doctor Who 9.45 Doctor Who Confidential 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps (x2) 11.30 Jonathan Ross’s Japanorama 12.00am Ideal 12.30 Family Guy (x2) 1.15 Two Pints Of Lager (x2)

7.00pm Mozart’s Requiem 8.00 The Electric Proms: James Brown Live 8.30 In Concert: Average White Band 9.00 Soul Britannia 10.00 Later On... Nu Soul 11.00 Soul Britannia All Stars At The Barbican 12.00am FILM: Standing In The Shadows Of Motown () 1.45 The Waiting Room 2.15 Living With The Future

2.35pm The Ricki Lake Show 3.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 4.25 Sally Jessy Raphael 5.15 Airline USA 5.45 Judge Judy 7.00 Smallville 8.00 ITV At The Movies 8.30 American Idol (x2) 10.00 Sally Morgan: Star Psychic 11.00 Coronation Street 11.30 FILM: Mary Reilly (1996) 1.35am ITV Play

5.10pm David Suchet: Poirot And Me 5.15 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 6.20 David Suchet: Poirot And Me 6.25 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 7.30 The Agatha Christie Code 8.30 Mousetrapped 9.30 Agatha Christie’s Marple 11.35 Agatha Christie’s Poirot (x2) 1.45am Never The Twain 2.15 Hornblower

3.35pm Smallville: Superman The Early Years 4.30 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 5.55 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 The War At Home 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Celebrity Wife Swap 10.00 Celebrity Wife Swap: The Aftermath 10.30 Kidnapped 12.15am Scrubs (x2) 1.20 Smallville: Superman The Early Years

12.00pm A Place In The Sun 1.05 Deal Or No Deal 2.00 ER 3.00 Third Watch 4.00 FILM: The Sons Of Katie Elder (1965) 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs Revisited 8.00 Grand Designs 9.00 Without A Trace 10.00 The Closer 11.00 Shrink Rap 12.05am NYPD Blue 12.50 Countdown

12.00pm Charmed 1.00 Will & Grace (x2) 2.00 Bewitched (x2) 3.00 Missing 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 The X Files 8.00 Close To Home 9.00 Criminal Minds 10.00 CSI: Miami 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am The X Files 1.00 Criminal Minds

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

12.45pm Open All Hours 1.30 FILM: Spy Kids (2001) 3.20 Jim’ll Fix It Strikes Again 3.55 TV Now And Then 4.35 Open All Hours 5.15 FILM: Carry On Dick (1974) 7.05 Only Fools And Horses (x2) 8.50 The Vicar Of Dibley (x2) 10.20 EuroMillions: Boom Bang A Bang 10.30 FILM: Bad Boys II (2003) 1.20am Room 101

12.00pm Frasier (x2) 1.00 Becker (x2) 2.00 Frasier (x2) 3.00 Becker (x2) 4.00 Frasier (x2) 5.00 Becker (x2) 6.00 Frasier (x2) 7.00 Becker (x2) 8.00 Frasier (x2) 9.00 Lee Evans: Wired And Wonderful 11.15 South Park (x2) 12.15am The World Stands Up 12.45 Drawn Together (x2) 1.45 Badly Dubbed Porn

12.00pm Deadliest Catch (x5) 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 The Exodus Decoded 9.00 Mythbusters 10.00 Crucify Me 11.00 True Crime Scene 12.00am Mythbusters 1.00 Most Evil 2.00 Forensic Detectives 3.00 How Do They Do It? 3.50 Mythbusters 4.40 Deadliest Catch 5.30 How It’s Made

12.20pm FILM: Cowboy Bebop: Knockin’ On Heaven’s Door (2001) 2.45 FILM: The Lost World () 4.45 FILM: Stargate (1994) 7.10 FILM: Bedazzled (2000) 9.00 FILM: The Mating Habits Of The Earthbound Human (1999) 11.50 First Friday 12.50am Heroes 1.55 FILM: The Resurrected (1992)

12.35pm 12 Angry Men (1957) 2.15 DOA (1950) 3.45 The Fly (1958) Horror feature. 5.20 Bus Stop (1956) 7.00 12 Angry Men (1957) 8.40 Drama Close Up 9.00 Once Upon A Time In The West (1968) 11.45 Days Of Wine And Roses (1963) 1.45am The Great Dictator (1940)

4.00pm Bed And Board (1970) 5.45 Indie Close Up 6.10 Garden State (2004) Twenty-something smalltown anomie. 8.00 Blue Planet 9.00 The Machinist (2004) Surreal drama. 11.00 Lords Of Dogtown (2005) 1.00am Love, Etc (1996) British comedy. 3.00 Blue Planet

1.00pm Fathom (1967) 3.00 Cheaper By The Dozen (1950) cute comedy. 4.40 The Battle Of Britain (1969) 7.10 Revenge Of The Pink Panther (1978) 9.00 O Brother, Where Art Thou? (2000) 11.00 Trainspotting (1996) Smack drama. 12.50am Sunshine Special 1.00 Breaking The Waves (1996)

12.45pm Never So Few (1959) 3.00 High Society (1956) Musical. 5.00 Behind The Scenes: Ben Hur 5.10 Ben-Hur (1959) 9.00 The Getaway (1972) 11.15 Elvis On Tour (1972) 1.00am Shaft’s Big Score! (1972) Blaxploitation. 2.55 The Prodigal (1955) 4.45 Teleshopping 5.00 Arena (1953)

Classics

Indie

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3/30/07

12:08 PM

Page 1

saturday 7 Doctor Who BBC1, 7pm After last week’s season opener the series gets into high gear as the good Doctor gives Martha a whistlestop Tardis tour of Elizabethan England. But why is William Shakespeare acting so strangely – and who are the coven of witch-like creatures who appear to have the Bard under their control?

Grey’s Anatomy Five, 11.10pm The US medical drama continues as Meredith Grey and her fellow interns attempt to cope with the demands of life inside the hectic hospital. It’s all go tonight as white lies fly between Meredith and Cristina while George is given a nasty job to do. Elsewhere it’s crunch time as Alex gets his exam results.

Who Downed Douglas Bader? More4, 8.30pm Documentary examining the mystery surrounding the last ever flight of RAF hero Douglas Bader, who claimed he was forced to bail out over France in WWII. Crash expert Andy Saunders goes in search of the truth and presents a very different account of what happened.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 10.00 Saturday Kitchen 11.30 Great British Menu 12.00pm BBC News; Weather 12.10 Football Focus 1.00 Davis Cup Tennis 4.30 Final Score 5.25 BBC News; Regional News; Weather 5.45 All New Just For Laughs

6.00am Teletubbies 6.30 Balamory 6.50 Step Inside 7.00 Batfink 7.10 Arthur 7.30 The Underdog Show On CBBC 8.00 Watch My Chops 8.15 Mona The Vampire 8.30 The Story Of Tracy Beaker 9.00 Hider In The House 10.00 The Underdog Show On CBBC 10.30 Totally Doctor Who 11.00 The Story Of Tracy Beaker 11.30 The Fairly Odd Parents 11.45 Sportsround 12.00pm See Hear 12.45 The Sky At Night 1.15 Animal Park 2.00 FILM: King Of Kings (1961) 4.35 Meerkat Manor 5.00 Meerkat Manor 5.20 FILM: Anna And The King (1999) 7.40 The Culture Show A topical series featuring the best arts and culture stories of the week. 8.30 Golf: The US Masters Gary Lineker introduces live coverage of the third round of the 71st Masters in Augusta, Georgia. Having safely negotiated the cut, the remaining golfers will be dreaming of donning the famous green jacket. In last year’s raindelayed third round, eventual winner Phil Mickelson made a decisive move to the top of the leaderboard, carding a solid round of 70 to establish a oneshot lead. Commentary is from Peter Alliss, Ken Brown, Wayne Grady and Sam Torrance. 12.00am FILM: At First Sight (1999) Romantic drama about a New York architect who falls in love with a blind masseur. As she learns that his lifelong blindness may be curable through experimental surgery, she persuades him to undergo the operation. But he learns that the gift of sight may not be up to his expectations. 2.05 The Culture Show 2.55 FILM: Noriega: God’s Favorite (2000)

6.00am GMTV 9.25 Horrid Henry 9.35 Bel’s Boys 9.55 Tricky Quickies 10.00 Art Attack 10.20 The Amazing Adrenalini Brothers 10.30 Drake And Josh 11.00 King Arthur’s Disasters 11.30 SpongeBob SquarePants 12.00pm Saturday Cooks 1.30 ITV News; Weather 1.35 Meridian News And Weather 1.40 F1: Malaysian Grand Prix Qualifying 3.30 The Boat Race 2007 5.15 Meridian News And Weather 5.20 ITV News; Sports Results; Weather 5.35 New You’ve Been Framed!

6.00am The Cubeez 6.10 The Hoobs (x2) 7.00 Goalissimo! 8.00 The Morning Line 9.00 Friends 9.30 Musicool 10.35 Popworld 11.20 High School Dance 12.25pm Shipwrecked 2007: The Hut Cam Diaries 12.55 Shipwrecked 2007: Battle Of The Islands 2.00 Channel 4 Racing From Kempton Park, Haydock Park And Carlisle 4.10 Location, Location, Location 4.40 Deal Or No Deal Classic 5.30 Monarchy With David Starkey

6.00am Sunrise 6.55 Franklin 7.25 Miss Spider’s Sunny Patch Friends 7.35 Little Princess 7.45 Make Way For Noddy 8.00 Harry And His Bucket Full Of Dinosaurs (x2) 8.30 The Book Of Pooh 9.00 Ebb And Flo 9.05 Peppa Pig 9.15 Fifi And The Flowertots 9.30 Jane And The Dragon 10.00 The Gadget Show 10.55 World’s Strongest Man 11.55 FILM: Star In The Dust (1956) 1.25pm FILM: The Wild And The Innocent (1959) 3.00 FILM: Columbo: Try And Catch Me (1977) 4.35 FILM: Clockmaker (1998)

6.00am Aerobics Oz Style 6.30 Ford Football Special 8.00 Premier League Preview 8.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly 9.00 Soccer AM 12.00pm Gillette Soccer Saturday 5.00 Ford Football Special 7.55 UEFA Champions League Weekly 8.25 Football First: Game Of The Day 10.15 Football First: Match Choice (x5) 5.45am Sky Sports Classics

6.05 Grease Is The Word ITV teams up with the producers of the most popular musical of all time, in a search to cast the lead roles of Danny and Sandy in a brand new West End production of Grease. 7.10 Harry Hill’s TV Burp Harry Hill presents another televisual feast of weekly favourites including Australian Princess, Marbella Belles and the mighty The Apprentice for viewers to tuck into. 7.40 Vernon Kay’s Gameshow Marathon The programme celebrating classic gameshows of yesteryear returns, as six celebrities attempt to raise money for charity and bid to become the Gameshow Marathon Champion 2007. 8.40 Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? 9.45 The Big Fight Live Jim Rosenthal presents live coverage from Cardiff’s Millennium Stadium of the fight between supermiddleweight world champion Joe Calzaghe and Peter Manfredo Jr. 11.45 ITV News; Weather The latest national and international news, plus national weather. 12.00am The Big Fight Live Commentary comes from John Rawling and Duke McKenzie, with ringside reports by Matt Smith. 12.40 ITV Play: Make Your Play 4.03 ITV News Headlines 4.05 Don’t Move, Improve

6.30 Channel 4 News Including sport and weather. 7.00 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls Former Special Forces adventurer Bear Grylls demonstrates how to survive in the world’s most extreme environments. Bear ventures into remote Alaska, braving snow, ice, seagulls and bears. He also builds a shelter from alder saplings and eats Eskimo potato root. 8.00 Bremner, Bird And Fortune Topical satirical comedy from impressionist Rory Bremner and regular collaborators John Bird and John Fortune. 9.00 The 100 Greatest Tearjerkers A run-down of the top 100 moments caught on camera that have brought lumps to our throats and tears to our eyes, as voted by the British public. Presented by Jimmy Carr. 1.05am FILM: Love Letters (1998) Romantic drama about a senator who reflects on his life following the death of a woman he loved and kept in contact with only through correspondence. Stars Aura Linney and Steve Weber. 2.40 FILM: Safety Of Objects (1998) A 4.45 Flood 5.00 In Your Dreams 5.10 Countdown 5.55 Inuk C

6.15 FILM: The Ambushers (1967) Starring Dean Martin, Senta Berger, Janice Rule and James Gregory. Spoof spy adventure. An experimental US spacecraft is hijacked while on its test run, so special agent Matt Helm is sent to investigate. The third in a series of four films from the 60s. 8.00 Five News And Sport The latest national and international headlines with Helen Fospero. 8.15 NCIS US ‘tec series. An old war hero confesses to a murder although Gibbs believes that there is more to the story than the elderly man is letting on. 9.10 CSI: NY Mac looks into the death of a base jumper who was hit by a flock of racing pigeons, while Stella investigates a man found dead in his garage. 10.10 Law And Order Hard-hitting crime series. When a body is found outside the Chinese Consul, Briscoe and Green suspect a political suicide. Only when forensics confirm it was murder does the case get complicated. 11.10 Grey’s Anatomy Medical drama from the US. Meredith and Cristina lie to each other about their relationships. See highlights. 12.10am Grey’s Anatomy The nurses at the hospital go on strike. 1.10 Quiz Call 5.35 Wildlife SOS

6.15 The National Lottery People’s Quiz Jamie Theakston, Kate Garraway, Myleene Klass and William G Stewart continue their countrywide search for the UK’s best quizzer. 7.00 Doctor Who Tardis-toting family sci-fi drama starring David Tennant and Freema Agyeman. See highlights. 7.45 Any Dream Will Do Graham Norton presents a series following Andrew Lloyd Webber’s search for a new leading man for Joseph and the Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat. 8.50 The National Lottery People’s Quiz The final 24 contestants being invited to the first studio show are revealed. Plus, the National Lottery live draw. 9.10 Casualty Nadia puts her affair with Stitch before work, but is betrayed. 10.00 BBC News; Weather BBC News; Weather. 10.20 Match Of The Day Highlights of all Saturday’s Premiership games on what could prove a pivotal day in the season. 11.40 Cricket World Cup Highlights Action from the Super 8 stage of the World Cup as South Africa meet Bangladesh. 12.40am FILM: Border Blues (2004) Crime drama. 2.10 Joins BBC News 24 5.00 Cricket World Cup Highlights

Sky Sports 2 6.00am FEI Equestrian World 6.30 Super League 8.30 LIVE Rugby Union: Super 14 (x2) 12.30pm Gillette World Sport 1.00 Cricket World Cup 2.00 LIVE Cricket World Cup. Coverage from the Super Eights stage of the 2007 Cricket World Cup, in which the top two teams from each group compete in a league system for a place in the semi-finals. 11.00 Rugby Union 12.30am Rugby Union: Super 14 (x2) 4.30 Rugby Union

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Sports Unlimited 7.00 Max Power 8.00 Cricket World Cup 9.00 Racing News 10.00 WWE Smackdown 12.00pm WWE The Bottom Line 1.00 WWE Special Hall Of Fame 2.00 360 Surfing 2.30 LIVE Rugby Union 5.00 WWE Smackdown 7.00 LIVE Spanish Football 11.00 Extreme Championship Wrestling 12.00am WWE Late Night Smackdown 2.00 WWE Late Night Bottom Line 3.00 Tennis: Davis Cup 2007

Matt Chittock

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

More4

Living

8.00am Malcolm In The Middle (x2) 9.00 In The Shadow Of Sunshine 10.00 Buffy The Vampire Slayer 11.00 Robot Wars Extreme 12.00pm Battlestar Galactica (x5) 5.00 The Simpsons (x6) 8.00 Cold Case 9.00 24 (x4) 1.50 Naked In Blackpool 2.40 Red Light Girls 3.30 Star Trek: The Next Generation (x2)

7.00pm The Real Hustle (x2) 7.45 Doctor Who Confidential 8.30 Top Gear 9.30 Little Britain 10.00 FILM: Highlander: Endgame (2000) 11.35 Two Pints Of Lager & A Packet Of Crisps (x2) 12.35am Ideal 1.05 Rush Hour 1.35 The Real Hustle 2.05 Two Pints Of Lager & A Packet Of Crisps (x2) 3.05 Ideal

7.00pm Meetings With Remarkable Trees 7.10 Medical Mavericks 8.10 Art Of Eternity 9.10 Soul Britannia 10.10 Urban Soul 11.40 Soul Britannia At The Barbican: Queens Of Lover’s Rock. Music. 12.10am Medical Mavericks 1.10 Art Of Eternity 2.10 Soul Britannia 3.10 Urban Soul

5.10pm ITV At The Movies 5.40 Smallville 6.40 New Homes From Hell 7.40 Australian Princess 8.40 Greased Lightnin’ 9.40 FILM: Back To The Future Part II (1989) 11.40 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 12.10am Grease Is The Word 1.15 Greased Lightnin’ 2.15 ITV Play: Make Your Play 3.40 Emmerdale Omnibus

3.55pm Mousetrapped 4.55 David Suchet: Poirot And Me 5.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 6.05 There’s Something About Christie 7.10 Agatha Christie’s Marple 9.10 Agatha Christie’s Marple 11.15 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 12.20am The Bill 1.20 Van Der Valk 3.20 Savage Planet 3.50 Film File

8.00pm Friends (x2) 9.00 Desperate Housewives (x3) 12.00am Transmission With T-Mobile 1.00 Pussycat Dolls Present: The Search For The Next Pussycat Doll 1.55 The Simple Life: Interns 2.15 Transmission With TMobile 3.15 Shipwrecked 2007: The Hut Cam Diaries 3.40 Shipwrecked 2007

9.00am Velux 5 Oceans Ultimate Solo Challenge 9.30 Time Team (x3) 12.25pm Grand Designs (x2) 2.35 Grand Designs Revisited (x3) 5.55 Snowmail 6.00 FILM: Reach For The Sky (1956) 8.30 Who Downed Douglas Bader? See highlights. 10.35 FILM: Last Mitterand (2005) 12.50am The Closer

7.00pm America’s Next Top Model 8.00 The X Files 9.00 New Most Haunted 10.00 Haunting Evidence (x2) 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am Most Haunted 1.00 Outrageous Fortune 2.00 The L Word 3.00 Veronica Mars 3.50 Game Over (x2) 4.40 6ixth Sense With Colin Fry (x2) 5.30 Home Shopping

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

6.45pm Only Fools And Horses 8.25 Jim’ll Fix It Strikes Again 9.00 The Vicar Of Dibley 9.40 FILM: Chicken Run (2000) 11.20 TV Now And Then 12.00am The Vicar Of Dibley 12.40 Doctor Who 1.40 Baywatch 2.25 Have I Got 2001 For You 3.00 Wogan: Now And Then 3.50 Icons 4.00 The House Of Eliott 4.55 Icons

7.00pm Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 8.00 Everybody Hates Chris (x2) 9.00 Lee Evans Live At Her Majesty’s Theatre 10.20 Lee Evans Live - Different Planet Tour 11.50 Badly Dubbed Porn 12.20am Naked And Funny 12.50 Sexy Cam (x2) 1.30 Scrubs (x2) 2.30 South Park (x2) 3.30 Linc’s 4.00 Stacked (x2)

6.00am How It’s Made (x4) 8.00 How Do They Do It? 9.00 American Chopper (x9) 6.00 Mythbusters 8.00 Miracle Man: John Of God 9.00 Nostradamus 11.00 The FBI Files (x2) 1.00am Angel Of Death 2.00 Forensic Detectives 3.00 Nostradamus 4.40 How Do They Do It? 5.30 How It’s Made

1.00pm FILM: Stargate (1994) 3.25 FILM: Solar Attack (2005) 5.15 FILM: Loch Ness (1996) 7.10 FILM: Tron (1982) 9.00 FILM: The I Inside (2003) 10.50 Heroes 11.50 Erotic Misadventures Of The Invisible Man 1.40am FILM: Serial Mom (1994) 3.30 Psychic Detectives 4.00 The Outer Limits (x2)

12.55pm The Unforgiven (1960) 3.00 McLintock! (1963) 5.10 Move Over, Darling (1963) 7.00 From Here To Eternity (1953) 9.00 The Unforgiven (1960) 11.05 McLintock! (1963) 1.15am The Comedy Of Terrors (1964) 3.00 A Lovely Way To Die (1968) 5.00 A King In New York (1957)

4.00pm The Last Metro (1980) 6.15 Napoleon Dynamite (2004) 7.45 Lai See (2007) 8.05 China: The Panda Adventure (2001) 9.00 Birth (2004) 10.50 The Cook, The Thief, His Wife And Her Lover (1989) 1.00am The Chorus (2004) 3.00 China: The Panda Adventure (2001)

1.00pm Kiki’s Delivery Service (1989) 3.05 Genevieve (1953) 4.45 Run Silent, Run Deep (1958) 6.30 King Kong (1976) Monster movie. 9.00 Planes, Trains And Automobiles (1987) Caper comedy. 10.40 28 Days Later (2001) 12.55am Sunshine Special 1.05 The Crazies (1973)

12.50pm The Searchers (1956) 3.00 Singin’ In The Rain (1952) 4.50 Scaramouche (1952) 7.00 The Cincinnati Kid (1965) 9.00 Dirty Harry (1971) 10.55 Kelly’s Heroes (1970) 1.30am Wild Rovers (1971) 3.50 No Guts, No Glory: 75 Years Of Blockbusters 4.45 Teleshopping 5.00 The Citadel (1938)

Classics

Indie

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3/30/07

12:26 PM

Page 1

sunday 8 George Gently BBC1, 9pm One-off Bank Holiday ‘tec drama following an old-school detective trying to cope with Britain in the mid-Sixties, a time when British policing became less like Heartbeat and more like Scum. When his wife is killed at the hands of a notorious gangster, George Gently must fight corruption to take his revenge.

Murder in the Outback ITV1, 9pm New factual drama dramatising the murder of British backpacker Peter Falconio and the attempted abduction of his girlfriend, Joanne Lees. Truck driver Bradley Murdoch was charged with the crimes, but as the trial wore on the media became sceptical of Joanne’s account. Gripping stuff.

The Story of Light Entertainment BBC4, 11.05pm Cosy repeat documentary investigating how TV attempted to deal with the newly minted concept of the teenager during the 50s and 60s – briefly banishing easy listening from the schedules. But, as Stephen Fry relates, in the end MOR was to take its revenge.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 8.35 Match Of The Day 10.00 Easter Sunday Service 11.00 Urbi Et Orbi 11.40 Countryfile 12.40pm Wildlife On One 12.50 BBC News 12.55 ‘Allo ‘Allo! 1.25 Keeping Up Appearances 1.55 Diagnosis Murder 3.25 EastEnders 5.20 Points Of View 5.35 Songs Of Praise

6.00am Teletubbies 6.30 Balamory 6.50 Step Inside 7.00 Batfink 7.10 Legend Of The Dragon 7.30 Smile 10.00 Something For The Weekend 11.30 Animal Park 12.00pm Davis Cup Tennis And Premiership Rugby Union 3.00 FILM: Flight Of The Phoenix () 5.20 A Wild Cornish Summer 5.50 Meerkat Manor

6.00am GMTV 7.30 F1: Malaysian Grand Prix Live 10.00 The Championship 11.00 GMTV 11.55 An Act Of Worship For Easter Sunday 12.55pm ITV News; Weather 1.00 Meridian News And Weather 1.05 American Idol 1.59 ITV Weather 2.05 American Idol 2.35 Grease Is The Word 3.40 F1: Malaysian Grand Prix Live

6.10am The Hoobs (x2) 7.00 Trans World Sport 8.00 Velux 5 Oceans Ultimate Solo Challenge 8.25 New Shoots: Films From Disabled Directors 8.55 Popworld 9.45 Hollyoaks Omnibus 12.15pm Shipwrecked 2007: The Hut Cam Diaries 12.45 Musicool 1.50 Pussycat Dolls Present: The Search For The Next Pussycat Doll 2.55 The OC 3.55 Ugly Betty 4.55 Deal Or No Deal 5.45 Time Team

6.00am Aerobics Oz Style 6.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 7.00 Football First: Match Choice (x2) 10.00 Jimmy Hill’s Sunday Supplement 11.00 Goals On Sunday 1.00pm Cricket World Cup 2.00 LIVE Cricket World Cup. Coverage from the Super Eights stage of the 2007 Cricket World Cup, as Australia take on England. 11.00 Football League Review 12.00am Spanish Football 2.00 Football League Review 3.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 3.30 Spanish Football 5.30 Sky Sports Classics (x2)

6.10 Antiques Roadshow Michael Aspel and the team are in Devon for a busy day in Tavistock Market. Objects featured include two Mouseman furniture items, a Japanese collection of exceptional quality, an Elizabethan jug pulled out of a well and a painting with a sinister tale to tell. 7.00 Castaway A group of Brits are taken as far away as it’s possible to go from their lives in the UK, as they learn to survive on an island off the New Zealand coast. 7.35 BBC News; Regional News; Weather 8.00 Play It Again Classical singer and broadcaster Aled Jones gets to grips with the drums. 9.00 George Gently See highlights. 10.30 BBC News; Regional News; Weather BBC News; Regional News; Weather. 10.45 Extras 11.15 Cricket World Cup Highlights Manish Bhasin introduces action from the Super 8 stage of the World Cup as Australia and England meet in Antigua. 12.20am FILM: The Mod Squad (1999) Teen action tale. 1.50 Sign Zone: Holby City 2.50 Antiques Roadshow 3.40 Bill’s Food 4.05 Beat The Bailiff 4.50 Joins BBC News 24 5.00 Cricket World Cup Highlights

6.15 Meerkat Manor Big problems evolve at Meerkat Manor because Flower and Mozart are pregnant at the same time. 6.40 Natural World Wildlife documentary. Simon King has spent four years helping to raise two orphaned cheetah cubs, Toki and Sambu. Sambu was killed by lions, but Toki survived and Simon has continued with his attempt to return him to the wild. Simon’s unique relationship with Toki has enabled him to enter the world of this highspeed hunter and share in Toki’s adventures. This is a gritty and honest account of life with one of the world’s top predators. 7.30 Golf: The US Masters Gary Lineker is at Augusta for live coverage of the final round of the Masters. With just 18 holes left to play the winning post is in sight in Georgia. 12.00am FILM: Office Space (1999) Satirical tale about an office worker fed up with his place in life who plots revenge on his employers. Pushed to the brink by the minutiae of office life, he schemes with two fellow workers to get their own back on the company which employs them. Stars a post-Friends Jennifer Aniston plus Ron Livingstone. 1.25 Family Guy (x2) 2.10 FILM: Little Shop Of Horrors (1960)

6.00 Corrie In The Dock As Tracy Barlow stands trial for the murder of her boyfriend, we go behind the scenes with actress Kate Ford to reveal the story behind the street’s latest legal drama, and also remember some of the Street’s other days in court. 6.25 Meridian News And Weather Latest regional news and weather. 6.40 ITV News; Weather The latest national and international news, plus national weather. 7.00 Emmerdale Perdy comes to terms with her loss. 7.30 Coronation Street Have Ken and Deirdre said goodbye to Tracy for the last time? 8.00 The Royal When a mother falls ill, the question arises – what will happen to her children? 9.00 Murder In The Outback See highlights. 11.00 ITV News; Weather The latest national and international news, plus national weather. 11.15 Something About Mary Magdalene What’s the truth about Christianity’s most prominent sinner turned saint? 12.15am The Moral Of The Story 12.45 F1: Malaysian Grand Prix Highlights 1.45 ITV Play: Glitterball 3.24 ITV News Headlines 4.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 5.00 ITV Nightscreen

6.40 Shipwrecked 2007: Battle Of The Islands The Sharks are in the lead, with 11 islanders to the Tigers’ seven. The Tigers are desperate to woo the new arrival, 19-year-old Louis. 7.40 Channel 4 News Including sport and weather. 8.00 Wife Swap Wheelchair-user Ruth is an active and healthconscious mother from Shropshire, while armchair-loving Sue likes to feed her family junk food. 9.00 Shroud Of Christ? Documentary about the Shroud of Turin. Over the past several centuries, every movement, study and display of the cloth has been the subject of intense scrutiny and meticulous documentation. But the early history of the famed Christian relic is – and perhaps always will be – veiled in mystery. 10.00 FILM: The Passion Of The Christ (2004) 12.25am Robbie Williams Shorts 1.05 Egomania 2.05 Dupe 2.20 Hypochondriacs: I Told You I Was Ill 3.20 3 Minute Wonder: Preparing For The Worst 3.25 The Lost Gospel Of Judas experts as they assess the validity of a fragile manuscript that some 4.25 The Insider 4.50 Countdown

7.20 Miss Spider’s Sunny Patch Friends 7.30 Little Princess 7.45 Make Way For Noddy 8.00 Harry And His Bucket Full Of Dinosaurs (x2) 8.30 The Book Of Pooh 9.00 Ebb And Flo 9.05 Peppa Pig 9.15 Fifi And The Flowertots 9.30 Jane And The Dragon 10.00 Property Developing Abroad 11.00 Build A New Life In The Country 12.00pm Dream Holiday Home 12.20 Tim Marlow On... Turbine Hall 1.10 Five News Update 1.20 FILM: Rainbow (1978) 3.25 FILM: The Wizard Of Oz (1939) 5.20 Five News And Sport 5.30 FILM: Spider-Man 2 (2004) 8.00 Grey’s Anatomy Meredith’s fears of a bad day are realised when a medical case threatens the lives of everyone in the OR. 9.00 Grey’s Anatomy Despite the best efforts of the Seattle Grace staff, the code black situation escalates. 10.00 FILM: The Punisher (2004) Starring Tom Jane, John Travolta, Will Patton, Rebecca Romjin-Stamos and Laura Harring. Action thriller. A vengeful FBI agent is determined to wreck the life of a Florida druglord who killed his wife and children. Based on the Marvel Comics hero. 12.15am Boxing: Fight Of The Week A world-class bill of boxing featuring world champions, challengers and the finest up-and-coming stars currently fighting in America. 12.50 Major League Baseball – The return of America’s favourite pastime for its tenth season on Five. Jonny Gould and Josh Chetwynd preview all the action ahead of the live game as the Boston Red Sox travel to face the Texas Rangers, plus news and highlights from the opening weekend of the season. 4.15 101 Greatest Knockouts 4.45 NCAA Basketball

Sky Sports 2 6.00am High Altitude 6.30 Rugby Union 8.00 Cricket World Cup 9.00 Rugby Union 10.30 Cricket World Cup 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm WWE Special: Hall Of Fame 1.00 WWE Heat 2.00 The Premiership Years 4.00 LIVE Spanish Football 8.00 Football League Review 9.00 Rugby Union: Super 14 11.00 The Premiership Years 1.00am Tennis: Davis Cup 2007 4.00 Fishing: Bass Fishing

Sky Sports 3 6.00am 360 Surfing 6.30 Spanish Football 8.30 WWE Afterburn 9.30 WWE Heat 10.30 LIVE Rugby Union: Super 14 12.30pm Gillette World Sport 1.00 Squash: PSA Tour (x2) 3.00 Rugby Union: Super 14 5.00 WWE Experience 6.00 LIVE NBA Basketball 8.30 LIVE NBA Basketball 11.00 WWE Late Night Afterburn 12.00am WWE Heat 1.00 Rugby Union: Super 14 3.00 Women’s Pool (x3)

Matt Chittock

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

More4

Living

8.00am Futurama (x2) 9.00 Dream Team 10.00 Buffy The Vampire Slayer 11.00 WWE Experience 12.00pm Lost (x5) 5.00 The Simpsons (x6) 8.00 Dream Team 9.00 24 10.00 Lost 11.00 Rescue Me 12.00am The Dresden Files 1.00 Battlestar Galactica 1.50 Very Worst... 2.40 Best Of Angel 3.30 Star Trek: The Next Generation

7.00pm Help! My Dog’s As Fat As Me 7.35 Castaway Exposed 8.00 Doctor Who 8.45 Doctor Who Confidential 9.00 FILM: Lake Placid (1999) 10.15 Lucy: Teen Transsexual 11.15 Two Pints Of Lager & A Packet Of Crisps (x2) 12.15am Rush Hour 12.45 Lucy: Teen Transsexual 1.40 Two Pints Of Lager (x2)

7.00pm Swan Lake. Ballet action. 9.15 Val Doonican Rocks 10.15 Your Date With Val 11.05 The Story Of Light Entertainment. See highlights 12.35am Val Doonican Rocks 1.35 Tchaikovsky: Masterclasses With The Royal Ballet 2.05 Discovering Tchaikovsky 3.05 Discovering Tchaikovsky

11.15am Emmerdale Omnibus 2.05pm FILM: Back To The Future Part II (1989) 4.05 Coronation Street Omnibus 6.30 Vernon Kay’s Gameshow Marathon 7.30 American Idol (x2) 9.00 Supernatural 10.00 Deadline (x2) 12.00am Coronation Street 12.30 FILM: Liar Liar (1997) 2.05 ITV Play: Glitterball

2.25pm Agatha Christie’s The Secret Adversary 5.00 Agatha Christie’s Marple 7.00 Super Sleuths: Poirot 8.00 Agatha Christie’s Garden: Murder And Mystery In Devon 9.00 FILM: Agatha (1979) 11.05 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 12.15am The Vice 1.15 Chancer 2.20 Chancer 3.10 Teleshopping

4.00pm Friends (x2) 5.00 One Tree Hill 6.00 The OC 7.00 Friends (x2) 8.00 Ugly Betty 9.00 Wife Swap: The Aftermath 9.30 ER 10.30 Desperate Housewives 11.30 Porn: A Family Business (x2) 12.50am Wife Swap: The Aftermath 1.20 One Tree Hill 2.05 ER 2.55 Young, Sexy And... Rich 3.35 Popworld

1.10pm Scrapheap Challenge (x2) 3.20 Time Team 4.20 FILM: When Eight Bells Toll (1971) 6.00 Deal Or No Deal 6.55 Bremner, Bird And Fortune 8.00 The West Wing 9.00 The River Cottage Treatment 10.00 Bodyshock 11.00 FILM: The Dreamers (2002) 1.10am A Place In The Sun

7.00pm The Real Extras 8.00 Extreme: Celebrity Surgery 2 9.00 CSI: Miami 10.00 Criminal Minds 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am Most Haunted 1.00 The Real Extras 2.00 The L Word 3.00 Veronica Mars 3.50 Gastineau Girls (x2) 4.40 6ixth Sense With Colin Fry (x2) 5.30 Home Shopping

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

6.50 Only Fools And Horses (x2) 9.00 The Vicar Of Dibley 9.40 FILM: Sister Act 2: Back In The Habit (1993) 11.50 TV Now And Then 12.30am The Vicar Of Dibley 1.10 Doctor Who 1.55 Room 101 (x2) 2.40 Icons 2.45 Wogan: Now And Then 3.35 Icons 3.40 The House Of Eliott (x2) 5.30 Icons 5.35 Neighbours

7.00pm Stacked (x2) 8.00 Scrubs (x2) 9.00 Lee Evans Up Close 10.20 Lee Evans XL Tour 2005 Live 11.30 Edinburgh And Beyond 12.30am Badly Dubbed Porn 1.00 Naked And Funny 1.30 Sexy Cam (x3) 2.30 South Park (x2) Animated action. 3.30 Linc’s 4.00 South Park (x2) 5.00 The Wonder Years (x2)

7.00pm Engineering The World Rally 8.00 Big Machines 9.00 Crucify Me 10.00 World’s Lost Tribes 11.00 Mythbusters 12.00am The FBI Files 1.00 Who Killed Marilyn Monroe? 2.00 Forensic Detectives 3.00 World’s Lost Tribes 3.50 Crucify Me 4.40 How Do They Do It? 5.30 How It’s Made

12.00pm FILM: Cowboy Bebop: Knockin’ On Heaven’s Door (2001) 2.20 FILM: Loch Ness (1996) 4.15 FILM: Bedazzled (2000) 6.05 FILM: Wing Commander (1999) 8.00 A Town Called Eureka 9.00 Medium 10.00 Heroes 11.00 FILM: The Haunting (1999) 1.10am FILM: Severed Ties (1992)

6.55am City Lights (1931) 8.25 The Greatest Story Ever Told (1965) 11.40 The Italian Job (1969) 1.25pm Zulu (1964) 3.45 The Greatest Story Ever Told (1965) 7.00 The Italian Job (1969) 9.00 Zulu (1964) 11.20 Soldier Blue (1970) 1.20am Monsieur Verdoux (1947) 3.25 Guns Of August (1964)

4.00pm March Of The Penguins (2005) 5.25 Survival Island 6.10 Into The Deep 7.00 The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou (2004) 9.00 March Of The Penguins (2005) 10.30 Transamerica (2005) 12.15am I Heart Huckabees (2004) 2.15 Into The Deep 3.00 Survival Island

1.00pm Microcosmos (1996) 2.30 The Ghost And Mrs Muir (1947) 4.40 The Undefeated (1969) 7.00 Congo (1995) 9.00 Zoolander (2001) Supermodel satire. 10.35 A Life Less Ordinary (1997) Misfiring crime comedy. 12.40am Sunshine Special 12.50 The Dancer Upstairs (2002)

1.05pm Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory (1971) 3.00 Easter Parade (1948) 5.00 Casablanca (1942) 6.55 The Goonies (1985) 9.00 Interview With The Vampire (1994) 11.15 Bonnie And Clyde (1967) 1.20am Grand Prix (1966) 4.05 Little Off Set 4.40 Teleshopping 5.00 Gaslight (1940)

Classics

Indie

061_LS315_TVmon

3/30/07

12:07 PM

Page 1

monday 9 Jackie Magazine: A Girl’s Best Friend BBC2, 9pm While the modern miss gets the latest celeb news, fashion and sex tips from Heat or the internet her 1970s counterpart would get essential info on Donny Osmond (left), pantaloons and ‘hygiene issues’ from the pages of Jackie. This doc takes a wistful look at a much-missed magazine.

Only Yesterday: The Carpenters’ Story BBC1, 10.20pm Woefully uncool they may have been, but Karen Carpenter had a voice that could warm the heart (but not a ready meal – more’s the pity) and her brother Richard certainly had a way with a tune. To ease you into the week the Beeb reveals the backstory behind the 1970s siblings.

Greased Lightnin’ ITV2, 8pm Just can’t get enough of ITV’s new rip-off of How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria? Turn over to ITV2 as the show’s very own Sandy, Holly Willoughby, goes behind the scenes to deliver exclusive backstage gossip, interviews and whatever else they can stretch out over an hour. Ho hum, it’s work tomorrow.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.00 Animal 24:7 9.45 Homes Under The Hammer 10.45 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.30 Cash In The Attic 12.30pm BBC News; Weather 12.50 Regional News And Weather 1.00 Neighbours 1.25 Diagnosis Murder 2.10 FILM: The Sound Of Music (1965) 4.55 Final Score 5.35 FILM: Toy Story 2 (1999)

6.00am Fimbles 6.25 The Story Makers 6.35 Balamory 7.00 In The Night Garden 7.30 Mama Mirabelle’s Home Movies 7.45 Tommy Zoom 8.00 Do Something Different 8.45 Arthur 9.10 Mona The Vampire 9.35 Watch My Chops 10.00 Best Of Friends 10.30 The Likeaballs 10.45 Wee Gems 11.00 FILM: Paulie (1998) 12.25pm Dangermouse 12.45 Wildlife On One 1.00 Animal Park 2.00 Escape To The Country 3.00 Through The Keyhole 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Ready Steady Cook 5.15 The Weakest Link

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 60 Minute Makeover 11.30 Dickinson’s Real Deal 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 1.45 Meridian News And Weather 2.00 Midsomer Murders 3.00 Daily Cooks 4.00 Rosemary And Thyme 5.00 Soapstar Superchef

6.05am Making It 6.10 The Hoobs (x2) 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.25 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.55 Just Shoot Me (x2) 8.55 The OC 9.55 Friends (x2) 11.00 The Simpsons 11.30 Nothing But Take That 12.35pm FILM: Easter Parade (1948) 2.25 Life Begins Again 3.30 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The New Paul O’Grady Show

6.00am Football League Review 7.00 WWE The Bottom Line 8.00 Cricket World Cup 9.00 Football League Review 10.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 11.00 Gillette Soccer Special 12.30pm Ford Football Special 3.00 Gillette Soccer Special 5.00 LIVE Football League. Coca-Cola Championship football from St Mary’s Stadium as Southampton take on Sunderland. 7.30 LIVE Ford Monday Night Football 10.30 Football First: Match Choice (x3) 3.00am Football League 4.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 5.00 Football League

6.30 South East Today; Weather Regional news magazine. 7.00 Mission Africa Fifteen trainees attempt to build a game reserve in Kenya in six weeks. 7.30 BBC News And Weather 7.45 Regional News Programmes Regional news. 8.00 EastEnders Dot makes a surprising discovery while on a day trip with Jim. Back on the Square, Bradley bonds with Janet. 8.30 DIY SOS The team are in in Clevedon to help transform a shell of an extension into a funky lounge with a huge media centre. 9.00 New Tricks Drama series featuring an eccentric bunch of expolicemen, brought out of retirement to investigate unsolved crimes. 10.00 BBC News; Regional News; Weather The latest news and weather. 10.20 Only Yesterday: The Carpenters’ Story See highlights. 11.20 Match Of The Day Gabby Logan presents highlights from the Premiership. 12.30am Cricket World Cup Manish Bhasin introduces the Super 8 stage of the World Cup as Ireland clash with New Zealand in Guyana. 1.35 Sign Zone: Top Gear 2.35 Gardener Provocateur 3.35 Beat The Bailiff 4.20 BBC News 24 5.00 Cricket World Cup Highlights

6.00 Eggheads 6.30 Great British Menu Fourteen of the nation’s top chefs compete to convince the French that we can match them in gastronomic prowess. 7.00 The Trees That Made Britain Jon Hammerton and Kew’s arboretum manager Tony Kirkham examine how trees have always been at the heart of Britain’s political, artistic and economic life. 7.30 Johnny’s Kingdom It’s autumn, and Johnny prepares to build a new badger hide to check out local wildlife. 8.00 University Challenge In the second semifinal, University College London takes on the University of Warwick. 8.30 Return To Lullingstone Castle Jim tries to introduce a bit of ‘professionalism’ into the world garden but is thwarted by a lack of equipment.. 9.00 Jackie Magazine: A Girl’s Best Friend Documentary. See highlights. 10.00 FILM: Scary Movie 2 (2000) Spoof horror sequel. 11.15 FILM: Ginger Snaps: Unleashed (2004) Sequel to the cult horror `Ginger Snaps’. 12.45am BBC News 24 2.00 GCSE Bitesize Revision: German Exam 4.00 GCSE Bitesize Revision: English 2 - Poetry English

6.00 You’ve Been Framed! 6.25 Meridian Tonight Local news magazine. Including Meridian weather. 6.40 ITV Evening News; Weather The latest national and international news. 7.00 Emmerdale Turner’s accused of sabotaging the pageant. 7.30 Coronation Street Eileen gets some shocking news about baby Holly and Jerry finds that his ex-wife is much worse that he remembered. 8.00 Airline Emma Elwood leaves the sales desk behind to become cabin crew. 8.30 Coronation Street Will Eileen come clean about Holly? 9.00 Diamond Geezer Des, a professional thief and master of disguise, thinks his criminal past is behind him, but he is forced to reconsider when Scotland Yard arrive at his house offering him a job. 10.30 ITV News 10.43 ITV Weather 10.44 & Regional Weather 10.45 Bennett’s British Superbike Championship 11.00 ITV News; Weather 11.15 Bennett’s British Superbike Championship 12.15am Champions League Weekly 12.45 ITV Play: Glitterball 4.03 ITV News Headlines 4.05 ITV At Reading 2005

6.00 The Simpsons Bart discovers a comet that’s on a collision course with Springfield. 6.30 Hollyoaks Will is seething after catching Zoe and Jessica making fun of him. 6.55 Channel 4 News Including sport and weather. 7.00 The Bible Revolution Rod Liddle explores the hidden and often violent history of the English Bible through the dramatic lives and grisly ends of three religious revolutionaries. 9.00 FILM: Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind (2004) Romantic drama in which a couple decide to erase each other from their memories when their relationship ends. 11.05 The Sopranos News breaks about Vito’s secret life as an acquaintance tells Christopher that Vito was spotted at a gay bar. 12.15am Sunshine Lisa Rogers reports from behind the scenes of Danny Boyle’s new sci-fi thriller, featuring interviews with the cast and crew. 12.45 Six Feet Under 1.50 4 Music: Transmission With TMobile 2.50 The Last Dragon 4.50 Wild Things 5.35 Supporting Acts 5.40 Treats From The Edwardian Country House

6.25am Franny’s Feet 6.40 Clangers 6.45 Funky Town 6.50 The Milkshake! Show 7.20 The Beeps 7.30 Little Princess 7.45 Make Way For Noddy 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.40 Old Bear Stories 8.50 Mio Mao 8.55 FILM: Mist: The Tale Of A Sheepdog Puppy (2006) 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 Five News 12.00pm Home And Away 12.30 Built For The Kill: Ice Predators 1.00 FILM: The Prisoner Of Zenda (1952) 3.00 Five News Update 3.05 FILM: Khartoum (1966) 5.30 Five News 6.00 Home And Away Amanda is surprised when an unexpected guest arrives in Summer Bay. The atmosphere between Belle and Drew reaches a head. 6.30 Two And A Half Men Alan feels hurt when Charlie asks him to stay out of the house while Charlie’s friends come over. 7.00 Five News National and international news with Kirsty Young. 7.15 The Gadget Show Featuring a look at electronic DJ software. , 8.00 Fire Storm: Perfect Disaster Speculative documentary, featuring CGI effects, expert interviews and dramatisations. 9.00 Muscle Worship: Hidden Lives The human interest documentary series continues with a look at the bizarre world of female body builders and the adoring male fans that they attract. 10.00 Prison Break Michael and Lincoln face the fact that everything they worked for may have been for nothing. 11.00 FILM: The Body (2000) Religious thriller in which science and faith dramatically collide following an Israeli archaeologist’s discovery of human remains that just could be those of Jesus Christ. 1.05am NCAA College Basketball - The Championship Game 2.40 NHL Ice Hockey 5.10 French Football

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics Oz Style 6.30 High Altitude 7.00 Aerobics Oz Style 7.30 Tennis: Davis Cup 2007 10.30 Spanish Football 12.30pm LIVE Super League. coverage of the first ever Super League Humberside derby at the KC Stadium, as struggling Hull FC take on their neighbours and Super League newcomers Hull Kingston Rovers. 2.30 Live Cricket World Cup 11.00 Football League 12.00am Soccer AM: The Best Bits 1.00 Speedway: Elite League 3.00 World Motor Sport 5.30 Wild Spirits

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Max Power 7.00 Squash: PSA Tour (x2) 9.00 The Premiership Years 11.00 Aerobics Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Masters Football: Midlands Masters 3.00 The Premiership Years 5.00 WWE Raw 7.00 LIVE Speedway: Elite League 9.00 British Superbikes 12.00am Extreme Championship Wrestling 1.00 WWE Heat 2.00 WWE Late Night Raw 4.15 Sky Sports Classics 4.30 Fishing: Bass Fishing 5.30 High Altitude

Matt Chittock

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

More4

Living

9.30am Stargate SG-1 (x2) 11.30 Cirque De Celebrite 1.00pm Stargate SG-1 (x2) 3.00 Stargate Atlantis (x2) 5.00 The Simpsons (x8) 9.00 Corkscrewed 10.00 Greatest Goals Against Man Utd 12.00am Cold Case 1.00 Naked In Blackpool 1.50 Temptation Island (x2) 3.30 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 5.10 Star Trek: Voyager

7.00pm Castaway 7.30 Football Gaffes Galore 8.30 Help! My Dog’s As Fat As Me 9.00 Little Britain 9.30 Ideal 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Rush Hour 11.00 Jonathan Ross’s Japanorama 11.30 Two Pints Of Lager & A Packet Of Crisps (x2) 12.30 American Dad (x2) 1.15 Rush Hour 1.45 Jonathan Ross’s Japanorama

7.00pm FILM: The Sea Hawk (1940) 9.00 Tasmanian Devil: The Fast And Furious Life Of Errol Flynn 10.00 Five Days 11.00 Spiral 11.45 Greg Dyke On Lord Reith 12.45am Val Doonican Rocks 1.45 Tasmanian Devil: The Fast And Furious Life Of Errol Flynn 2.45 Greg Dyke On Lord Reith

1.30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.40 The Ricki Lake Show 4.30 Sally Jessy Raphael 5.10 Airline USA 5.40 Judge Judy 6.55 Grease Is The Word 8.00 Greased Lightnin’ See highlights. 9.00 FILM: Liar Liar (1997) 10.40 Coronation Street (x2) 11.45 FILM: Scary Movie (2000) 1.25am ITV Play

1.55pm Agatha Christie’s Marple 4.00 Mousetrapped 5.00 Agatha Christie’s Marple 7.00 The Agatha Christie Code 8.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 There’s Something About Christie 10.05 Agatha Christie’s Marple 12.05am Robin Of Sherwood 1.10 Dandelion Dead 3.05 The Beiderbecke Connection

7.00pm Hollyoaks 7.30 The War At Home 8.00 Friends (x2). US comedy. 9.00 The 100 Greatest Kids’ TV Shows. TV countdown. 12.45am Scrubs (x2) Medical comedy. 1.45 Smallville: Superman The Early Years 2.40 One Tree Hill 3.20 Porn: A Family Business (x2) 4.20 Switched (x2)

10.15am Property Ladder US 11.00 How Clean Is Your House? 11.30 You Are What You Eat 12.00pm A Place In The Sun 1.05 Deal Or No Deal 2.00 ER 3.00 The 100 Greatest Musicals 8.05 Deal Or No Deal 9.00 Relocation, Relocation 10.00 FILM: 8 Women (2002) 12.05am NYPD Blue 1.05 Countdown

7.00pm The X Files. Spooky sci-fi. 8.00 Top Chef 9.00 America’s Next Top Model 10.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (x2) 12.00am The X Files 1.00 America’s Next Top Model 2.00 The L Word 3.00 Veronica Mars 3.50 Gastineau Girls (x2) 4.40 6ixth Sense With Colin Fry (x2) 5.30 Home Shopping

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

7.00pm Only Fools And Horses 9.00 The Vicar Of Dibley 9.55 FILM: Shanghai Noon (2000) 12.05am Jim’ll Fix It Strikes Again 12.35 The Vicar Of Dibley 1.25 Doctor Who 2.25 Jim’ll Fix It Strikes Again 2.50 Wogan: Now And Then 3.40 The House Of Eliott 4.35 Icons 4.40 The House Of Eliott 5.35 Neighbours

7.00pm Two And A Half Men (x2) 8.00 Less Than Perfect (x2) 9.00 Lee Evans XL Tour 2005 Live 10.10 FILM: Forrest Gump (1994) 12.50am Two And A Half Men (x2) 1.50 Badly Dubbed Porn 2.20 Sexy Cam (x2) 3.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 4.00 Ally McBeal 5.00 Sir Leslie Quint: A Life In Film (x3)

9.00am How Do They Do It? (x24) 9.00 American Chopper: Mikey Special 10.00 Engineering The World Rally 11.00 Salvage Squad 12.00am The FBI Files 1.00 Psychic Witness 2.00 Forensic Detectives 3.00 Engineering The World Rally 3.50 American Chopper: Mikey Special 4.40 Deadliest Catch

12.55pm FILM: Bedazzled (2000) Comedy remake. 2.50 FILM: Black Knight (2001) 4.40 FILM: Tron (1982) 6.30 FILM: Jurassic Park (1993) 9.00 Medium 10.00 Heroes 11.00 FILM: Jurassic Park (1993) 1.30am FILM: Shadow Of The Vampire (2000) 3.05 Scariest Places On Earth (x3)

9.15am The Quiet Man (1952) 11.30 The Guns Of Navarone (1961) 2.10pm West Side Story (1961) 4.45 The Quiet Man (1952) 7.00 The Guns Of Navarone (1961) 9.35 Cape Fear (1962) 11.35 O Lucky Man! (1973) 2.35am Tales Of Terror (1962) 4.15 The Great Dictator (1940)

12.00pm Mad Hot Ballroom 1.50 Breakfast On Pluto (2007) With Cillian Murphy. 4.00 Best (1999) 6.00 Space Station 3D 7.00 Mad Hot Ballroom 9.00 Breakfast On Pluto (2005) 11.15 Mean Creek (2004) 12.50am Love, Etc (1996). British comedy. 2.50 Space Station 3D

1.00pm Jungle Book (1942) 3.00 Mr Smith Goes To Washington (1939) Patriotic comedy. 5.35 Carry On Up The Khyber (1968) 7.15 Addams Family Values (1993) 9.00 Changing Lanes (2001) 10.50 Dumplings (2004) 12.35am Black Widow (1986) 2.35 Microcosmos (1996)

11.00am Murder At The Gallop (1963) 12.35pm The Women (1939) 3.00 Seven Brides For Seven Brothers (1954) 4.50 Elvis: That’s The Way It Is (1970) 6.40 Ocean’s 11 (1960) 9.00 Goodfellas (1990) 11.40 Mutiny On The Bounty (1962) 2.50am BlowUp (1966) 4.45 Teleshopping 5.00 The Hour Of Thirteen (1952)

Classics

Indie