Latest 7 Issue 316

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4/5/07

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www.latest7.co.uk

latest

Cars The weekly listings and TV guide 10–16 April 2007 FREE

£4,990

royal scoop! chill out with free ice cream £6,990 from tempest4cars see page 4

on the radio! latest soup 97.2FM mon-fri 4-6pm

latest

look east discover the delights of kemp town

sea changes what’s fresh at bardsley’s

jobs highly paid professional positions customer accounts manager pure, brighton see page 47

property manager hove see page 47

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latest 7 5 Cars

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contents 22 Latest hot list

The sporty new Toyota Yaris SR 1.8

6 Social diary

Our top restaurants, cafés and bars

23 Recipe

Covet’s fashion evening and Hugo Boss launch their first store in Brighton

Portuguese-style scrambled eggs

26 Cinema 7 What Katie says

Local screenings reviewed and rated

Katie’s thoughts turn to global warming

300 miniature multi-coloured masterpieces all done in crayon on show at The Black Crayon Café

28 Music 8 Eminemmylou

Alice Cooper, the Waterboys and other exciting music news

Buzz’s springtime rap

8 Dani’s diary

Art times

30 Hip hop

Now aged 20, Dani has a new-found freedom and the bruises to go with it

Dr Syntax on the London hip hop scene

Lots to see at the festival this May

30 Foxy Mamma Malone 8 Backlash

Houmous ends in a trip to casualty

Are the English football team worth it?

31 Nightlife 9 Cover feature

Upcoming club nights and late bars

A smart makeover for well-loved Bardsley’s fish and chip restaurant

32 Gay A new landlady and a gay president?

10 Celebcity A free cone day at Ben & Jerry’s

33 Theatre

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September Tide in Worthing

11 Competitions Fantastic DVD and book giveaways

35 Events & kids All aboard for Thomas and friends

11 Crossword 36 Art

Test your word knowledge

D*Face: Eyecons at O Contemporary

12 Bare cheek Remembering Brighton of the 1980s

37 Latest listings The hottest tickets for the week ahead

12 Stars The week ahead with Astral Angi

38 Reviews Terry Garoghan’s Brighton – The Musical, The Dirty Cakes and more

13 Stand-up comedy Looking ahead to stand-up festivities

39 Day-by-day guide 13 Marc the vet

Our complete guide to local gigs, clubs, comedy, theatre and family events

The healing effects of our pets

13 Kemp Town

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45 Venue directory

A taste of Brighton’s Bohemian quarter

19 Fashion

Our guide to local venues

46 Latest jobs

The hottest essentials for summer

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Top new positions with Lynn Cannell, The Telemarketing Company and more

19 In the city Enzo plus Bumble and bumble

48 Latest TV

20 Food Andrew dines solo at Deli India

Complete television listings guide, must-see TV movies and Dani’s unique take on some of this week’s shows

01273 818150 Editor Bill Smith Business Director Angi Mariani Advertising Director Lynne Edwards Creative Director Andrew Kay Production Director Fiona McTernan Finance Manager Sharon Caple Art Director Stephen King Production Manager Neil Ive Advertising Manager Kate Knight Website Manager Paul Burgess

Production Editor Victoria Nangle

Music Editor Jeff Hemmings

Production Assistant Zara Friend

Staff Writers Matt Chittock Craig Driver Katie Glass Miranda Glavin

Chief Sub-editor Wendy McAngus Senior Sub-editor Philippa Smith Sub-editors Ashley Bird Danny Bowman Hayley Carmichael Joe Curtin Billy Imrie Colette Meacher Designers Anand Day Peter Knight Jamie Powell Steve Sawyer

Advertising Sales Rhoda Barker Emma Burton Administration Heather Holland Claire Peerless Stefan Reszczynski Latest Homes Unit 1, Level 5 North New England House New England Street Brighton BN1 4GH

Editorial: editorial@thelatest.co.uk Advertising: lynne@thelatest.co.uk

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It’s like the countdown to Christmas, the number of ticket-buying days left to the Brighton Festival and Brighton Festival Fringe, not to mention all the other great events happening around the time of the festival.

There are the unmissable Artists Open Houses opening throughout May, representing 1,000 artists and adorning 198 homes with masterpieces for the art-viewing public.

There’s also the unique Brighton Hip Hop Festival launch on 19 May at the Sallis Benney Theatre. Then there’s the Udderbelly, the Festival Fringe venue open 5–28 May, which is also hosting the Great Escape Festival on 19 May, as well as a range of top comedy shows from Stewart Lee on 21 May to The Ornate Johnsons on 12 and 26 May. The amazing Caesar Twins will be starring at the Udderbelly throughout May, and the thought-provoking musical, This Way For The Gas, Ladies & Gentlemen is on 22–27 May. The Latest Awards show hosted by Jimmy Carr is on Bank Holiday Monday 28 May. Look out for the special Udderbelly brochure at box offices and all good venues throughout Brighton and Hove and ring 01273 709709 to book tickets now or online at www.udderbelly.co.uk or www.brightonfestivalfringe.org.uk.

“We’ve re-launched and revamped the visual arts sections this year,” says Holly Payton from Brighton Festival Fringe. “In the Brighton Festival Fringe brochure, you’ll see open house, exhibition and hotel trails sections all combined into one super Visual Arts section.

“There are a whopping 116 exhibitions, 40 open houses, 33 galleries with Fringe exhibitions, 12 hotels showing work, 22 cafés, bars, shops and commercial premises and 9 studios with work in progress.”

Here’s a snippet of the weird and wonderful on offer this year: • More Plastic Than Plankton – an installation of plastic found on Brighton beach at Brighton Fishing Museum; • Call Me… Portraits Lit By A Mobile Phone – images shot in the dark, at Blanch House; • The Black Crayon Café – 300 miniature multi-coloured masterpieces done in crayon; • Old Red Tractor Shed – Artists include the Woodfords and Diggary Pokery at Bernard Road; • Art For Babies – for ages 0-3 at Jubilee Library; • In Our Hands – a growing human torso emerging from the ground at St Peter’s Church; • The Art And Craft Of Painting And Modelling In Sugar – edible art at Brighton Racecourse; • Elephants In Suburbia – paintings by six Thai elephants at the Garage.

Latest 7 will be covering the festival in detail over the next eight weeks with previews and reviews, so have yourselves a very merry festival and report back to editorial@thelatest.co.uk latest 7 3

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CARS

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Taking you higher Simon Asphar follows the high specification of the sporty new Toyota Yaris SR 1.8 all the way up If you’re in the market for a small car with a bit of poke there’s plenty of choice. The GTIs of the Maggie Thatcher years became a little passé as she packed up her curlers and left Number 10. Much like the idols of the time – along with George Michael pinning his shuttle cock out of play – in came more subtle and de-tuned motors to reflect the abandonment of all things tacky and 80s.

Toyota’s mark one Yaris was a sizeable hit.

Competent, modern, reliable and, most importantly, loyalty inducing. People I know with a Yaris tend to trade up to a newer model rather than risk a pesky newcomer. The latest Yaris moved things along nicely and delivered a good-looking and very saleable motor.

The Toyota Yaris SR 1.8 is the new flagship model for the Yaris range, bringing sports performance, style and refinement to a car that’s already a leader in terms of safety, equipment and comfort. It is powered by a new 1.8-litre petrol engine with Dual VVT-i technology and benefits from sports-tuned steering and suspension, a pretty striking body kit, 17-inch alloy wheels and a premium equipment specification that offers more in terms of comfort and convenience features than any of its segment rivals. Add to that Yaris’s class-leading safety performance, with a five-star Euro NCAP adult passenger safety rating and a unique-in-class standard-fit driver’s knee air-bag, and you have a formidable all-round package.

The SR 1.8’s chassis and suspension are tuned for good handling and ride comfort. The suspension has also been lowered for a more

rewarding driving experience and the electric power steering has been adjusted for quicker and more precise response to driver input.

Vehicle Stability Control (VSC) and Traction Control (TRC) are provided as standard, in addition to ABS, Electronic Brakeforce Distribution (EBD) and Brake Assist (BA).

The Yaris SR 1.8 is available in both three and five-door body styles. To complement its sportier performance, it features a rear roof spoiler, side skirts, chrome sports exhaust,

“Bringing sports performance, style and refinement to a car that’s already a leader” LED tail lights, and deeper front and rear bumpers, the front fitted with integrated fog lights. The interior is equipped with sports seats and an upholstery fabric that’s exclusive to the model. There’s also a leather-trimmed steering wheel, chrome trim detailing and an amber-lit Optitron instrument display with analogue read-outs.

Building on the high specification of the existing Yaris T Spirit model, the SR 1.8 gains exclusive-design 17-inch alloy wheels, plus VSC with TRC and sports pedals. It also features climate control air conditioning with pollen filter, Smart Entry and Start system, sixspeaker audio system with CD player and MP3/ WMA file playing function (from disc), a reach and rake-adjustable steering column,

electrically adjustable door mirrors and front fog lamps.

The arrival of the SR 1.8 gives the Yaris a new sporty dimension and its impact is spreading further into the model range with the introduction of other new SR versions powered

by Toyota’s 1.3-litre VVT-i petrol and 1.4-litre D4D 90 diesel engines. Launched at the same time as the SR 1.8, these feature models enable customers to enjoy sports styling and high equipment specification with competitive on-the-road prices and ownership costs.

The SR 1.3 and 1.4 D-4D match the current T Spirit specification with the addition of turbine-style 15-inch alloy wheels, a rear spoiler, chrome exhaust finisher, front scuff plates and brushed alloy gear knob. Other high-quality features include the Smart Entry and Start system, climate control, air conditioning and front fog lamps. In spite of all these extra features, the SR models are £615 cheaper than their T Spirit equivalents.

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Boss in Brighton Hugo Boss launched its first ever store in Brighton and to celebrate they hosted a special preview evening to unveil the arrival of the spring/summer 2007 collections, on Thursday 29 March 2007. The new store has a sleek contemporary look and houses the men’s collection including Boss Black, Boss Green and Boss Orange, which is a handcrafted range, focusing on quirky hand-stitched details and edgier styles in luxury fabrics. Hugo Boss is located at 52 East Street, Brighton.

With Tim Richardson

Covet-ed evening Fabulous ladies’ fashion shop Covet was host to an evening of style and make-up. The doors stayed open until late into the evening, on Thursday 29 March 2007, allowing customers and friends to just pitch up, have a makeover by one of Brighton’s most sought-after make-up artists Zena McCarthy, using products by Daniel Galvin, and try on some of the most inspiring women’s wear from designers such as Sara Berman, Tracey Boyd and Leiko. That wasn’t all – Richard Yalden, coffee supremo from Roasted, Brighton was on hand, offering samples of some of his designer coffee blends… or a glass of wine perhaps! You can find Covet at 16 Gloucester Road, Brighton.

Imran Dhar (manager), Anastasia Mueller, Juned Allmad, Leonardo Masotti, Hamid Hojabrolsadati, Gary Dunn, Poppy Francis and Doug Kington (assistant manager)

Lindsay Fergusson (model), Michael Yeoman (DJ), Simon Brown (Moodroom massage therapist), Lyn Aveyard (owner of Covet), Richard Yalden (Roasted) and Zena McCarthy (make-up artist)

Richard Yalden (Roasted) and Lindsay Fergusson (model)

Poppy Francis (Hugo Boss) and her uncle, Howard Tonkin

Doug Kington (Hugo Boss assistant manager) and Michael Yeoman (DJ) 6 latest 7

If you have an event you would like featured please email editorial@thelatest.co.uk

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KATIE’S COLUMN

What Katie says Katie discovers she’s greener than she thought

Going for green It was four months after I moved into my flat that I first noticed the blue bin in the kitchen.

“Hey guys,” I asked my lovely, new-ish flatmates, ”what’s the blue bin for?” prodding it with my toe. They spun round – one from the washing-up, the other from making soup, both with their jaws open, clearly in shock.

“You are joking, right?” asks Katherine. Simon looks from Katherine to me. Looking worried, he turns back to the washing-up.

The blue bin, as it turns out, is for recycling. And, as you might’ve gathered, I don’t do a lot of it.

I don’t think I’m that exceptional in being a reluctant (read: lazy) recycler. It’s hard to bring yourself to wash out cans of beans when there seems so little incentive as a reward.

Moreover, I’ve never seen the appeal in becoming a tree-hugging, soyadrinking, eco warrior, so resisting the recycling bandwagon seemed as good a way as any to prevent myself from becoming one.

But the weather is changing – in more ways than one.

I woke up this morning and the sun was shining so intently through my bedroom window that I climbed out of it – onto the flat roof – and lay in the light blissfully smoking in the sunshine. When the wind started to blow, I thought nothing of it, pulling on a woolly cardie. And then the snow started.

What. The. Hell. (I wondered) Is. Happening. To. Our. Environment!?

Call me a selfish bitch – you always do – but climate change is something it’s easy to forget about when the only people that seem to be affected are Eskimos and polar bears. But when the snow falls into the sunshine, in England, in the middle of March, it’s time to wake up and smell the ozone burning.

I may not know much about climate change (you might have gathered that) but I know we need to do something. These be the facts: 1998 was the hottest year on record, followed by 2002, 2003 and 2004. The ten hottest years ever documented have all occurred since 1990.

The average Arctic winter temperature has already increased by 11°F – the northern polar ice cap has decreased in thickness by 40 per cent and in extent by 6 per cent over the past 40 years. It is expected to completely melt within 50 years.

Coastal glaciers in Greenland are rapidly thinning by as much as three feet per year. Fifty more years of unabated greenhouse gas build-up will irreversibly commit the Greenland ice cap to

“The World Health Organization estimates that climate change is already responsible for an estimated 150,000 deaths per year” melt in its entirety over the next millennium, adding 23 feet to the sea level.

The World Health Organization estimates that climate change is already responsible for an estimated 150,000 deaths per year.

Meanwhile, UN projections show that Kyoto will halt rising world temperatures by only 0.2°F, compared to a forecast rise of 2.510.8°F by 2100.

It’s bad. But it isn’t too late. So what can you do? You can learn to conserve electricity and heating. You can go green in your transport – get a fuel-efficient car or, even better, a bike. And you can stop taking those Easy Jet flights. Especially if they’re to Newcastle.

You can buy energyefficient appliances, work out your carbon footprint and commit yourself to reducing it.

But for now, you could find out where the blue bin in your kitchen is. And start using it.

Mixing it up If I ever make anyone a mix tape, then there’s two songs I’ll always include on it: The Buzzcock’s ‘Ever fallen in love with someone (you shouldn’t’ve fallen in love with)’ and The Menagerie’s, ‘White Train’.

Since I only resort to mixtapery when I’ve got it bad, this combo inevitably says more about the generic state of my hopeless, stoner relationships than it does about my profound taste in music. As I get older and wiser, I’m trying to move on – the only problem is that the Buzzcocks aren’t.

Luckily, The Menagerie are, so now I might finally be able to increase my mix tape repertoire – coz The Menagerie have finally made some new tracks.

I’ve got a love/hate relationship with The Menagerie: I hate to love them. As a bunch of visceral, bitchy, little stoners with more bile than brains, I want to dislike them. Annoyingly, they make really, really f***king good music.

Their lyrics are sharper, funnier, crisper and keener than anything in HMV’s entire back catalogue. They show more insight and audacity than a room full of stand-ups – they could beat Russell Brand hands down even on a bad day.

So liking The Menagerie is a bit like reading The Sun – even if you disagree with everything it stands for, every time it gets you giggling with a killer one-liner, you know you’ll be back again and again. None of them look as cute as Em, but if I ever found myself stranded out on 8 mile and I had to trust someone to battle-rap for my life, I know who I’d want on my side.

Check out their myspace www.myspace.com/menageriefa m, listen to their music, decide on your favourite and, if you’ve got any sense, buy the album.

Or just send hate mail to Koaste: koaste@gmail.com Your call.

Comments, queries and general chitchat can be sent to: katie@thelatest.co.uk

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THE RHYME

EMOTIONS

Eminemmylou The UK’s first and only rap and spoken word column.

This week with Buzz Walking down the street looking for a quick rhyme Bumped into the fastest rhymer in the west just in time Nice weather we’re having Buzz, spring’s here I reckon or is it just me?

The clouds evaporated, the sun shone and this is what he said back to me

Springtime

Image Delarge

Buzz and Eminemmylou always bringing them good vibes Them mementos and them trinkets and them pastimes It’s that time of year again, you can smell it in the air The season’s they be changing, so let’s spring straight into gear The year 2007 shows us little bits of heaven It’s a special sneak preview from the crew at Latest 7 Across the south coast, north, east and west Wordwide with the vibe always moving on a quest All fruits ripen as the sun starts to rise And everybody’s smiling looking up at friendly skies There’s a buzz that’s building up, Girls looking sweet like buttercup It’s that time to pukka up So get set to raise your cup Love is in the air and everywhere and it’s a sign To be an April fool but have a great springtime

Send rhymes and a pic to: eminemmylou@thelatest.co.uk

The backlash starts here Zara Friend talks footballers – overpaid and under-achieving Why is there so much money in the game of football? With a reliance on media advertising and exposure the game has been turned into a commercial gimmick with a bunch of overpaid players who basically don’t deliver to their fans, which, in my opinion, shouldn’t mean such a huge wage each year.

Case in point – the Euro 2008 qualifier against Andorra! Andorra, with a population of around 70,000! Not only that, but the Andorra team has players that include a physiotherapist among them, so football isn’t even their chosen profession in life, yet England struggled against them! Why, when they are on unspeakable thousands each week do some of them put on such meagre performances? (Steven Gerrard and John Terry exempt from this backlash.) It might be OK (key word here – might) to forgive Rooney for being worth about £30m at his age, if his talent and performance reflected it, but he hasn’t scored a goal for England since Euro 2004. That’s nearly three years ago! And it’s not like he hasn’t been playing in that time. It just seems that the players, who perform well for their club teams, suddenly look like they couldn’t win against Andorra at an international level. Again, this is Andorra, people!

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Dani’s diary Dani turns 20 – no more a teenage strumpet – and delights in the innocent joys of cycling and hormonal equilibrium!

I have bruises up the backs of my legs. I got a bike from my boyfriend for my birthday. It’s just what I wanted and I love it. Just not the pain it’s causing. I’m not quite brave enough to ride on the main busy roads so I end up pushing it about and the peddles keep whacking my legs.

I rode along the coast for about an hour and afterwards felt so calm inside, a kind of calm I haven’t felt for ages. So I recommend anyone who suffers with nerves or has a lot of nervous energy gets a bike.

So I am 20 now. I don’t feel any different (apart from the bruises). I’m not exactly sure what I was expecting to feel. I was hoping that I would no longer get asked for ID to buy Rizlas but that hasn’t happened. I was hoping I’d suddenly grow up and feel a bit more confident and happy with myself but that hasn’t happened. I was hoping for some sort of clarity for why I’m here but that hasn’t happened. And to be honest, I don’t think any of those things are going to happen for a long time.

“What they say about birthdays being less exciting as you get older is true” I have discovered however, that what they say about birthdays being less exciting as you get older is true. This year I didn’t really care, it just felt like another day. Other than a bike I couldn’t think of anything I wanted as a present. I’m not bothered about getting older (yet) so that isn’t the reason why it was so unexciting. I’m not worried that my life is slowly ebbing away. Well, I kind of am but not because of age, so that isn’t it. I have good friends and a good relationship and that is all I have ever wanted. So maybe the reason I couldn’t think of anything was because I have what I want! Perhaps. I didn’t want any clothes because nothing fits and I don’t need any more handbags, shoes or jewellery. I suppose many people would like to feel like that, to not want anything much. But I still feel like something is missing. And yet again, I was hoping that with the extra age I would find out what, but I haven’t.

God, I’ll tell you, I love having a bike. Let’s face it, the idea of me driving any time soon is ridiculous, so having a bike is the closest I’m going to get to freedom. And, with my boyfriend hopping across Europe on tour, having the bike means I can get to see my friends – most of whom have moved out of town – without getting on public transport. So my fear of not doing anything at all while my boyfriend was away has gone because I can do things on my own a bit more.

The only thing that’s missing is my bank balance, that is slowly dwindling to nothing. So to help, I have entered every competition I have found with money as the prize. So fingers crossed for me, perhaps I’ll earn enough to pay someone to tell me what it is I want and need!

OK, in the end we did win, but against a team that couldn’t even have hoped to. England had four defenders but could easily have had everyone forward as the Andorra team hardly ever saw the ball in our half. They didn’t try too hard and certainly wouldn’t expect to win, but England struggled, which is worrying when you think of us playing teams like Italy and Brazil.

“The Andorra team has players that include a physiotherapist among them, so football isn’t even their chosen profession in life, yet England struggled” There is a debate that Andorra never expects to reach Euro 2008 anyway, so why bother with the qualifying matches? It’s just more money spent on tickets, televising and paying the players to roll around on the grass. That might seem a bit too generalised but it’s embarrassing to see grown men roll around in agony after a slight tap, only to run along fine when they realise they’re not going to get a free kick out of it. Honestly, children cry less falling over in the playground. And these footballers are being paid to do this. Do we rely on (overpaid) personalities rather than a good game? Has the true game of football gone for ever?

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FOOD&DRINK When I heard the news I was wary. I liked Bardsley’s as it was. I didn’t want it gentrified, I simply didn’t want it changed. It’s not. The new furniture is a stylish and comfortable upgrade, the new windows let in light and open one of the dining rooms on to the street, the new extension merely makes use of an unused space that now offers a semi-private dining area. I can now sit and wait for a table with a drink, and soon an upper lounge with leather sofas will be available.

Frying high Andrew Kay on Bardsley’s Fish and Chips in the 21st century Ask me where my favourite restaurant is and I give the same answer every time. It’s not posh, it’s not fancy, it doesn’t cost a fortune and it will probably never get a Michelin star (although if I had anything to do with it, it would get three). I am, of course, talking about Bardsley’s Fish and Chips Restaurant in Baker Street.

I have been going there for over 20 years.

Initially I would stop by after a busy day as a commuter, picking up a fish supper and driving on home. Then one day 13 years ago I asked owners Roy and Muriel if they would stay open late and do a birthday dinner for me.

They said yes, it was a roaring success and they decided that it was perhaps a turning point in their business.

Now, 13 years on and you’d be hard pressed to get a table on a Thursday night, let alone a Friday or a Saturday. The mix is fabulous: elderly regulars, young kids, families, Brighton’s foodies, visitors who have seen the national press reviews – all drawn by a menu packed with excellent fresh fish, much of which is local and all which is seasonal.

Son Neil, now a lead member of the team, decided that it was time for a revamp and his mum and dad both agreed. Out with the Formica, in with smart light wood and black marble tables, stylish chairs and at last a bar.

We all loved the BYO policy but it’s so easy now and with a great list of wines at really sensible prices who can complain? There’s even local and organic ales.

‘‘A smart makeover for the city’s favourite fish and chip shop simply highlights the quality food, great service and family atmosphere!’’

All this is change for the good – certainly the quality of the food and the service will be as good as ever. I like my fish fried and that is what they are about, but with the wide range on offer they have had to develop different ways of preparing it. Fried, yes, but also poached, steamed, grilled and – if you ask nicely – raw, as the tuna is sushi quality. There can be oysters, salmon, lobsters, Cromer crabs, pollock, plaice, Dover sole, halibut, even turbot. They make platters of starters for parties and platters of seafood that serve two. They have dishes for vegetarians and for people who don’t like fish. And children, well they don’t cook them, but they welcome them with open arms. This is a family restaurant run as a family business, a family with a heart of gold and one that I for one, like so many other loyal customers, am proud to feel I am a part of.

Bardsley’s Fish and Chip Restaurant 22/23/23a Baker Street, Brighton, 01273 681256

Wishes Bardsleys every success with their newly refurbished premises Telephone 01273 692388 Shopfronts • PVC Windows • Doors Conservatories • Curtain walling For all your glass and glazing latest 7 9

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AROUNDTOWN

sponsored by

Celebcity with Jo Brooks

Vanilla queen Free Cone Day at Ben & Jerry’s... is this just fantasy?

This week I bring you news of one of the best scoops you’ll ever see in any magazine – a free scoop of delicious ice-cream. Ben & Jerry’s, the kindest, coolest ice-cream magnates in town are giving every single one of you the opportunity to enjoy an ice-cream gratis on Free Cone Day, which takes place between 1pm and 6pm next Tuesday 17 April.

So put the date in your dairy… err, I mean diary… and prepare to rock, as the new flavour being launched to coincide with the day is Bohemian Raspberry – a flavour named in honour of the famous Queen song and the brainchild of a B&J fan who won a national competition to name their latest ice-cream flavour.

This Free Cone Day, the two Brighton stores (Odeon and Brighton Square) will be giving their customers the opportunity to make a donation to fantastic local children’s charity, Rockinghorse, each time they pick up their free cone.

Queen guitarist Brian May is apparently very excited about the latest tribute to the rockers saying that the flavour is “So cool it’s not funny… the next one should be We Will Choc You!”

At the third stroke...

I hear that one of the most famous voice-over jobs in Britain has recently been taken over, and by a Brighton girl no less. Yes, Brightonresident Sara Mendes da Costa was recently chosen by BT to be the new voice of the speaking clock.

Sara was chosen from over 18,000 entrants in an open competition run by BT, apparently impressing judges with the warmth and clarity of her voice. She takes over from 70-year-old Brian Cobby, who has had the honour for a massive 22 years!

Comedy Eugenics I was quite surprised to hear that former Big Brother contestant Eugene Sully recently decided to have a go at stand up comedy, mostly because I just didn’t think he would be funny. If – like most people – your Big Brother memoryspan is shorter than the proverbial goldfish, I’d better remind you that Crawley-based Eugene came second in Big Brother 6 in 2005, walking away with half of the £100,000 prize money.

Since leaving the house, Eugene has had a regular slot as a DJ for Passion Radio in Worthing, but apparently decided that this wasn’t enough of a challenge and so made the move into stand up as part of a specially made programme for ITV Local.

In the programme, ‘Stand Up Eugene’, Brighton-based comedian Katy Schutte acts as Eugene’s mentor as the self-confessed geek attempts to find out what it takes to cut it in the world of stand-up.

To see the film – and find out whether Eugene actually managed to be funny – all you have to do is log on to www.itvlocal.com/meridian.

Fit for the future king?

Brighton-resident Patsy Palmer recently revealed how she was asked to pose for a naked photo – by none other than Prince William!

Apparently, Tara Palmer-Tomkinson made the saucy request in 1997, when her friend the young prince told her he wanted a snap of Patsy – who was playing Bianca in Eastenders at the time – for his room at Eton.

Patsy’s verdict? She said: “I was scandalised!”

Comedy celebrity anagram of the week: Queen’s guitarist Brian May = “I’m a brainy quartet’s genius!”

Jo Brooks is director of Brighton-based PR company JBPR Ltd, 01273 622555 www.jb-pr.com

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To comment on any of these stories or send in any news stories email editorial@thelatest.co.uk

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COMPETITIONSXWORD

In it to win it

latestcrossword

solutions on page 30

Get your hands on these great giveaways!

Dylan Thomas – A War Films Anthology DVD One of Britain’s most respected and admired poets Dylan Thomas made a little-known but valuable contribution to Britain’s war effort by scripting powerful propaganda films during World War II. Eight of Thomas’s finest wartime works have been collected together by the Imperial War Museum in this stunning DVD collection from DD Home Entertainment. Includes: These Are The Men, Balloon Site 568, Green Mountain Black Mountain, New Towns for Old, and In The Battle for Freedom. We have two copies to give away. See below for details.

Night At The Museum DVD New out on DVD and Blu-Ray discs for those who have managed to get ahold of a PlayStation 3 console, Night At The Museum stars Ben Stiller as a night watchman at the museum who discovers the Tyrannosaurus Rex, other prehistoric creatures, fierce ancient warriors and long lost tribes like to come alive and play at night. Also starring Robin Williams and Ricky Gervais, this new DVD is packed with extras. To win one of three copes, see below for details.

The Addams Family Volume 1 DVD Twentieth Century Fox Home Entertainment are going through their backlog of classic TV shows and have come up with a winner – the original 1960s show The Addams Family, released on DVD for the first time ever this month.

Join the ghoulish family for all their original adventures with fan favourite Uncle Fester, Butler-cross-Frankenstein character Lurch and of course Morticia, Gomez and their kids. We have three copies of the original series Volume 1 to give away. See below for details.

Life On Mars Series 2 DVD John Simm is back as DI Sam Tyler in series 2 of Life On Mars out on DVD this month. Join the time-travelling detective who found himself in 1973 after a car accident.

Kicking off where series one left off, discover the truth about Sam Tyler – is he in a coma, mad, or has he really travelled back in time? Find out in this new and final series of the award-winning show. We have two copies to give away – see below for details.

The Veteran DVD A gritty war film starring Michael Ironside, The Veteran is a horrific and realistic portrayal of soldiers serving in the Vietnam War. Following the soldiers’ lives, this film looks at the tragic effects the war left on them, proving that you can bury the past, but can’t escape it. We have five copies on DVD to give away. Entrants must be aged 15 or over.

Rebecca book If you haven’t heard already – this year’s big city read is Daphne du Maurier’s classic story Rebecca. Events are on across the city until the end of May celebrating the classic story with discussions and reading groups on numerous dates (see our events section for the latest).

Rebecca tells the story of a young woman who accepts a wedding proposal from Max de Winter. From the glamour of Monte Carlo to Cornwall, the new Mrs De Winter suddenly finds her husband a changed man with the memory of his dead wife, Rebecca, kept alive in their house, Manderley.

We have three copies of Rebecca to give away. See below for entry details.

To be in with a chance of winning, email competitions@thelatest.co.uk with the title of the prize you wish to win in the subject box. Alternatively, write to us at the address at the front of the magazine. Don’t forget to include your name, contact address and telephone number.

Cryptic 87

9

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ACROSS

DOWN

ACROSS

1 More than one makes a dainty dish (9) 8 Bring Billy back to the bar (4) 9 Prepare his cattle for exercise (9) 11 Birdie? Go one better and finish first (6) 13 I leave the restaurant man a drink (5) 15 Leader sits in servant's armchair (4) 16 How to improve the plot with one finger (5) 17 Intoxicated agent gets it mixed up (5) 18 He's getting up to secure part of the staircase (5) 19 Get second-hand bed end from America (4) 20 Frighten the dunce woman (5) 22 Monster took refuge in plant (6) 25 Find the way by lorry, then turn around (9) 26 It must be hit to make progress (4) 27 Man takes water in honesty (9)

2 Gone - and clearly not before time (4) 3 Tradesman can be heard in the basement (6) 4 One normally needs 13 to do it (5) 5 One's origins provoke competition (4) 6 It takes scientific type to put igloo bits together (9) 7 In a rut? I'd get out for some appreciation (9) 10 Beach girl? (5) 12 Celebrity directors tend to the right (9) 13 Ideal garment for the refuse collector? (9) 14 Be quick and quiet during the break-in (5) 17 Get transport when it starts to pour down (5) 19 Turn five ways to be invisible (6) 21 Not an unusual man (5) 23 Frankness can not be grim (4) 24 Oh my! The map book has a bit missing (4)

1 Theatrical form (9) 8 Card game (4) 9 Liveliness (9) 11 Country (6) 13 Trap (5) 15 Extensive (4) 16 Escape (5) 17 Old fashioned (5) 18 Happen (5) 19 Eye affliction (4) 20 Out of practice (5) 22 Insidious (6) 25 Publicans (9) 26 Rowing implements (4) 27 Mentally absorbed (9).

DOWN 2 Relative (4) 3 Comic skill (6) 4 Machine (5) 5 Satellite (4) 6 Ancient times (9) 7 Spider organ (9) 10 Called (5) 12 Red-eyed (9) 13 Eating places (5-4) 14 Go in (5) 17 Boring instrument (5) 19 Backless seats (6) 21 Beneath (5) 23 Deserve (4) 24 Border (4).

To advertise call Kate on 01273 818150

Collection/delivery ordering service for

IKEA goods Tell us what you want, and we’ll deliver it. Simple as that.

No traffic. No queues. No rows. No hassle.

FEARLESS MIKE 01273 711166 As seen on TV.

admin@fearlessmike.com

www.fearlessmike.com

Ask about our flatpack assembly service We are an independent limited company and not part of the Ikea group.

For coverage in this magazine email editorial@thelatest.co.uk

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ONLY JOKING!

Bare cheek Brian Mitchell and Joseph Nixon’s thoroughly scurrilous Brighton column

In & Out IN • Burdock • The SDP • Referring to Bros as “Dross” • Cheating at one of those Steve Jackson ‘Choose Your own Adventure’ books • Kruskal’s algorithm

OUT • Dandelion • Ross McWhirter • Referring to John Travolta as ‘John Revolting’ • Pretending your nob is a light sabre • Pennsylvania 6500

Spotted with W.B.Yeats In Preston Park where the old men sing, And the rosehips are plump with the sun, An old man dances in tatters of dun, And chants as he shows his golden ring: ‘I saw Pamela Anderson.’

In a darkened inn where the poor folk drink, That the clean and proud all shun, An old man munches a stale bun, And chants as he waves his pot of ink: ‘I saw Pamela Anderson.’

For I am that man who is old and grey.

I am mad, and my days are nearly done.

And I chant as all over town I run, Outside Blanch House last Saturday: ‘I saw Pamela Anderson.’

I remember, I remember Brighton! These days it might consist almost entirely of the sort of luxury flats only a particularly over-achieving billionaire could afford, but what was it like back in the heady days of the late 1980s? Thirty-six year old Michael Hunt remembers…

“I first came to Brighton in 1988. A couple of friends and I came up from London – five days it took us.

The trains were s**t in those days too. Of course, Brighton was a very different place back then. Nowadays it’s all Starbucks, Tesco Metro, juice bars and branches of the Pitcher and Piano and the Slug and Lettuce. But back then it was a wild, untamed land, swarming with be-dreadlocked crusties, and 98.7 per cent of the adult population was signing on. Even people working in the dole office were on the dole. And the local police force. And the mayor. Everyone was a crusty too. Even that statue of Steve Ovett in Preston Park had dreadlocks then.

“People were friendlier back then. We were forever popping into each other’s houses to borrow bongs, marijuana, giros and the like. I think the music was part of the reason – we had proper music back then – Sonic Youth, Dinosaur Jr, Momus, Rob Base and DJ E-Z Rock. Not like the rubbish you get these days. We’d all gather round the piano to sing ‘Freak Scene.’

“We mustn’t forget that Maggie Thatcher was Prime Minister. Her government passed a lot of oppressive, tyrannical new laws – Section 28, Section 29, Section 30… Section 47 was particularly harsh, since it forbade drinking cider on a public beach while playing an ethnic drum and/or wind instrument. A lot of Brightonians were up in arms about that one, especially the didgeridoo players. They even sent a letter to Rolf Harris asking for his help and support, but he wrote back telling them to f*** off.

“I’ll tell you one thing, though. In 1988 Brighton celebrities were celebrities. Forget your Prestons and Pete Bennetts. We had ‘em all back then – Laurence Olivier, Richard Attenborough, Nick van Eede from Cutting Crew, Robespierre, Chris Kelly, Davros, Ginger Lynn, Traci Lords, Seka, Vanessa Del Rio…” (continued on page 198)

STARS

Astral Angi ★ Your week ahead ★

Buy the CD Bardsley’s, country music with c-hip s-hop beats at Bardsley’s and Borders NOW!

BARDSLEY’S CRISPY FISH N CHIPS

22/23/23A BAKER ST, BRIGHTON BN1 4JN

01273 681256

ARIES (MAR 21–APR 20)

CANCER (JUNE 22–JULY 22)

LIBRA (SEP 23–OCT 22)

CAPRICORN (DEC 21–JAN 19)

When all around you are dissing you, go to Bardsley’s and enlist the help of Roy and Neil, who are well versed in the art of battering.

When all around you are giving you grief, wear my special astro protective clothing, tougher than rhino skin, and just as sexy. Only $50.

When all around you are in your space man, pop into Bardsley’s, say you’re a Libran and you’ll be treated like the young Elvis.

When all around you ain’t giving you nuff respect, ask yourself: why is that?

They must all be nutters and ain’t that the truth.

TAURUS (APR 21–MAY 21)

LEO (JULY 23–AUG 22)

SCORPIO (OCT 23–NOV 21)

AQUARIUS (JAN 20–FEB 19)

When all around you are saying you’re a flake, do a Reggie Perrin, and come back as another geezer. As long as you know the truth, that’s the main thing, Taurus.

When all around you are blaming you for everything, find new ways to say I really don’t care. Try dirty ways and clean ways of saying this. Ask Roy of Bardsley’s for advice.

When all around you are like stampeding wildebeest trampling on your sensitive nature, flick your hair back and shrug in a Mediterranean way, Scorpio.

When all around you are not getting you, go to the land where they do get you; Bardsley’s dreamland, the haven for all Aquarians. They have a cocktail bar there now too!

GEMINI (MAY 22–JUNE 21)

VIRGO (AUG 23–SEP 22)

SAGITTARIUS (NOV 22–DEC 20)

PISCES (FEB 20–MAR 20)

When all around you are getting on your nerves, tell them to stop making you ill, tell them to sod off and go buy a giant bottle of Clearasil. Then go and have a drink at Bardsley’s.

When all around you are making you feel like everyone’s mad but you, go to Bardsley’s where they really understand you. Dr Roy and Dr Muriel Bardsley care.

When all around you are upsetting you, do what Hovis Presley does and drink a pot noodle down in one to make you feel better. Alternatively, drown your woes at Bardsley’s.

When all around you are humming a different tune, just hum louder, with heavier beats, and a killer bass with knobs on! A bit like Bardsley’s on a Saturday night.

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To talk to Astral Angi please email angi@thelatest.co.uk

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STAND-UP COMEDY

A laughing matter Victoria Nangle gets ready for the wonders of the Brighton Festival

It’s only a month away and already the tension is building. Yes, I’m talking about the May festival and all that that entails. From the Udderbelly taking up the plot left empty last year by the Spiegeltent to our very own Dome venues, the Komedia, and the gem that is The Marlborough Theatre, all now have their running order out for everyone to see, and at this point it’s really time to get your skates on and book, book, book those tickets.

I’m not saying spending galore – that would be silly and broke-worthy.

No, I’m talking about careful study of the programmes and some deliberated cherry-picking of the shows you want to see.

Personally, I’ve already booked my tickets to see Daniel Kitson’s and Stephen Grant’s shows at The Marlborough Theatre. With a maximum capacity of 50 and names that have sold out at the Paramount Comedy Festival, this really is an opportunity not to be missed. You might even decide you enjoyed seeing Ricky Gervais so much (well, he did keep coming back to give us more of a chance to see him, with extra dates) that you want to catch the clever support act, Robin Ince, doing his solo thing at The Marlborough too.

“At this point it’s really time to get your skates on and book, book, book those tickets” With the grand scheme that is the Udderbelly – wow! a venue that’s an upside-down cow! – I’m making sure I don’t miss out on the Bill Hicks: Slight Return show. With a following like Hicks’ you just know the tickets will be flying out the udders. Another baggsy I’ll be racing to get is the Priorité à Gauche guys. With their own unique saucycheeky humour from across the Channel, they’ve already made their mark on British TV in a decidedly Rapido manner. Who knows what will happen at the live show?

Dashing on, I am determined not to miss Gamarjobat in their return to Komedia. The toast of the Brighton Festival last year, as well as at Edinburgh, these talented Japanese mime comedians I find are so much better than words. Tricky, as I love words.

Another act I can’t wait to see is Jo Neary, again at the Komedia. A comedienne I’ve heard so much good stuff about but haven’t seen yet is that wild card that’s actually a gift. A recommendation from a friend with a respected opinion is always a good thing, and if she’s got her own show in the festival in a good venue like the Komedia you think they might be onto something.

But that’s my shopping list for tickets. You may find some other jewel of hilarity all set up with punchlines a-go-go, so I do recommend some time spent poring over the brochures. You don’t want to miss a thing.

☺

Stand-up wisdom 36: “Get thee to a nunnery. Better still, get thee to an old Monkhouse.” Bob Monkhouse

image

Individual Images for Individual People

catcher T i m R i c h a r d s o n Freelance Photographer 01273 881832 07977 140002 www.image-catcher.co.uk tim.richardson@image-catcher.co.uk 32a Carlisle Road, Hove, East Sussex BN3 4FS

PETS

Marc the vet Paul O’Grady Show’s Marc Abraham asks whether hospital patients should be offered pets on prescription Did you know that, according to top health psychologists, patients in hospital should be offered ‘pets on prescription’ to speed their recovery?

It’s true. Hospitals should be encouraging bedside visits from pets and trained visiting animals, and should have reception areas where patients and animals can meet. Animal therapy should be included in national guidelines for hospital treatment, but the benefits of pets to patients’ well-being are being ignored by most hospitals amid exaggerated fears of poor hygiene and the litigation that might result.

The Royal College of Nursing was recently advised to accept pet visiting rooms in hospitals wherever they can be fitted in, and where possible allow pets onto the beds. It was bound to raise huge cries of the risks, but realistically, people were more likely to catch infections from their human visitors!

“The presence of pets can reduce blood pressure and stress levels, and modify aggressive behaviour” We already know that the presence of pets can reduce blood pressure and stress levels, modify aggressive or withdrawn behaviour and so make people more willing to talk about their problems. Pets also act as a cushion against changes in human support from healthcare workers and family members.

A recent study showed that nine out of ten patients suffering from breast cancer were found to gain valuable support from pets.

Furthermore, men who owned cats and dogs had lower blood pressure, while children who grew up with animals were thought to build up an enhanced resistance to both asthma and eczema.

At present most doctors and nurses would not consider asking patients if they wish to see their own pet or whether they might benefit from an animal visit. Supporters of animal therapy do not wish to see hospitals with “pets bounding around all over the place”, but simply to have the treatment acknowledged as “a very viable option”.

A few residential homes and hospitals allow animal visits, which are normally restricted to trained animals, usually dogs, on therapy schemes, for example, the incredible work undertaken by the charity Pets As Therapy. Benefits have been derived from petting cats and rabbits, ferrets have helped the visually impaired and even parrots have aided oral communication.

Animals have also been found to help people to adapt to the death of a loved one, by reducing symptoms of depression and stress. The use of reptiles and amphibians is thought to be less advantageous though, as apparently they are just too anti-social!

For more information about Pets As Therapy, see www.petsastherapy.org

Any comments for Marc email editorial@thelatest.co.uk 12,000 students attend the University of Sussex.

The only way to reach these potential clients is through the University of Sussex Students’ Union.

The badger is the Students’ Union’s tabloid newspaper, published every Thursday and read by 84% of students*.

The pulse, our termly magazine, has been awarded the best UK Student Magazine twice by The Guardian and Independent newspapers.

To advertise in either publication, phone the USSU marketing team on 01273 678151 or email ussu-marketing@sussex.ac.uk * Student Lifestyle Questionnaire 2002

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If you would like your event listed please email listings@thelatest.co.uk

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tasty sussex!

‘Seasonal’ and ‘local’ are the buzz words in food today and Sussex is at the forefront of that movement. Producers, suppliers and restaurants are all striving to give customers the very best of local produce as it comes to market and we plan to celebrate that success.

To join in our promotion of the very best of Sussex food call Kate now on 01273 818150 14 latest 7

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KEMPTOWN

Kemp Town kool Brighton’s oldest bohemian quarter has a unique village feel and a rich vibrancy Kemp Town, or Kemptown if you must, has long been home to many of Brighton’s most creative residents. Terrence Rattigan, Laurence Olivier and more recently Cate Blanchett have all at some time made their homes there.

So what is it that makes this pocket of Brighton society so colourful, so vibrant and alive? Well, certainly there have always been a fair number of pubs and bars that have in themselves created an atmosphere of almost louche bonhomie. For well over half a century it has also been home to Brighton’s gay community which in turn creates an atmosphere of tolerance and allows for the

expression of individuality. And there is little denying that for some time it was down at heel and therefore affordable to students. In such a melting pot it is inevitable that something exciting will happen and, in the case of Kemp Town, what emerged was a strong but diverse community, typical of the positive image that we all like to portray as being the real Brighton.

Today Kemp Town is also home to some of the city’s best boutique shopping. Forget the malls and the high street chains, what Brighton is best at is individuality, and nowhere will you find it better represented than in Kemp Town.

Blanch House

The Hanbury Club

Located in a discreet Georgian terrace, just five minutes from Brighton pier, Blanch House combines award-winning service with innovative design in a laid-back environment.

More than just a hotel, Blanch House offers 12 en-suite rooms, together with a 70s lounge-chic cocktail bar, and a fabulous inhouse restaurant. With rates ranging from £100 to £230 per night (including continental breakfast), rooms are sometimes booked-up months in advance.

The restaurant and bar are open to nonresidents throughout the week – booking ahead is usually recommended – especially on weekends! The award-winning cocktail bar offers an eclectic range of superbly made cocktails from the best bar team in the UK (Class Magazine 2005). Lunch (£13 two courses/£16 three courses) is available Tuesday to Sunday and dinner (£25/£30) is available Tuesday to Saturday in the fully airconditioned restaurant.

Blanch House can also cater for a range of private functions. Weddings (they have a ceremony licence), parties and conferences/meetings can all be tailored to fit your exact requirements.

Blanch House, 17 Atlingworth Street, Brighton.

Call 01273 603504 or see www.blanchhouse.co.uk

Opening late last year, this Grade II listed building has been wonderfully restored and is now a fantastic venue for the people of Brighton and Hove.

Providing a selection of award-winning cocktails, premium spirits and ten different champagnes (sold by the glass!), the Hanbury Club has something for everyone. Diners can choose from an accessible, brasserie-style bar food menu mid-week (with starters and desserts from £5 and mains from £10) and two or three-course supper club menus, priced £20 and £25 respectively, at the weekend.

The Hanbury operates a membership system with an annual fee of just £50. This entitles each member to free use of the club – although members must pay extra for special acts and live supper club evenings.

The Hanbury Club is open Tuesday to Thursday 6pm-2am and Friday and Saturday 7pm-2am (food served from 7pm each night). A lively calendar of events features each month.

The Hanbury Club, 83 St George’s Road, Brighton. Call 01273 605789 or see www.thehanburyclub.com

Andrew Fionda Opening in mid-April is an exciting addition to Brighton shopping, which the welldressed inhabitants of Kemp Town will be delighted to know is right on their doorstep.

As well as continuing to design gorgeous dresses, fashion designer Andrew Fionda has now made the leap into selling upmarket vintage clothes from his first boutique and vintage bridal studio at 17 St George’s Road.

In this town full of vintage shops and stalls what is it that sets Andrew Fionda apart? And what exactly is ‘vintage’? Well, at this boutique it doesn’t necessarily mean ‘haute couture’, rather ‘clothes with history’, each with their own story, as well as unique catwalk pieces from Andrew’s celebrated career as one half of award winning fashion design duo Pearce Fionda. Also, there are beautifully unique, beaded, embellished and often hand-made gowns, as well as jewellery and accessories from another era, which have an elusive quality, making them extremely desirable in this age of massmarket high street shopping. Call Andrew for opening times or for a private appointment on 07875 852926. Andrew Fionda is the future of vintage shopping.

Andrew Fionda Brighton Ltd, 17 St George’s Road, Brighton

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016_LS316_ads

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brighton framing gallery Friendly and experienced bespoke picture framers with on-site workshop

tuesday – friday 9.30–5.00 saturday 10–5 103 St.Georges Road, Kemp Town Village Brighton BN2 1EA Tel 01273 696 221 email info@brightonframing.com

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KEMPTOWN

Brighton Laser Clinic

Cupcake

Brighton Laser Clinic has recently introduced Jan Marini Peels and Skin Care range. This is an addition to their existing skin rejuvenation treatments: Restylane, Sculptra, Botox™, Veinwave™ and Laser Hair Removal.

Jan Marini Peels and Skin Care products are pioneering and medically validated. These preparations are used worldwide to treat common skin conditions such as ageing, fine lines and wrinkles, sun-damaged skin and acne.

These gentle, yet effective treatments stimulate collagen and elastin production and with no recovery time (treatment takes 30 minutes) make up can be applied immediately afterwards and normal activities can be resumed. The clinic offers free consultations.

Check out www.janmarini.com.

Brighton Laser Clinic, 56a Marine Parade, Brighton.

Call 01273 686869 or see www.brightonlaserclinic.co.uk

Cupcake is a treasure trove of irresistible clothes, nostalgic toys and gifts from all over Europe for little ones. It’s the only place in Brighton where you’ll find heavenly clothes from Noa Noa, Mini A Ture and Petit Bateau among others.

Newborns love their light, cotton babygrows and soft blankets. Girls can swish through summer in floaty skirts and adorable dresses and boys will just love careering around in their classic stripy tops and comfy trousers. They’ll all be spoilt for choice when it comes to swimwear, sun hats and accessories galore.

You’ll find the very best traditional toys with everything from yo-yos to wigwams in retrocowboy prints here. There are wooden stilts, sturdy forts, wicker prams, crocheted rattles and plenty of heart-melting soft toys.

With antique sleigh beds, scrumptious vintagestyle quilts and magical toadstool lamps, Cupcake has everything you need to make your child’s room a haven. Visit, buy a little magic and have it gift-wrapped for free.

Cupcake, 98 St George’s Road, Kemp Town Village, Brighton. Call 01273 624134, email info@cupcake-kids.co.uk or see www.cupcake-kids.co.uk

Foto Finish

Brighton Framing Galleries

Located in Kemp Town Village, Foto Finish can serve all your photographic needs.

Services include: • Photos on canvas – turn your photos into stunning, high-quality canvas prints to create a piece of art for your wall. Prices start from just £20.

• Photo cushions – these cushions are unique to Brighton. Printed into the material for a lovely soft finish and backed with warm suede material, you can add any message to make a really lovely gift.

• 100 photos for £7 – probably the best price in Brighton, offering 100 6x4 prints for only 7p each – and for that one great price you can edit and manipulate your images, choose matt or glossy prints, and add borders.

• Photo restoration – the team of experts can breathe new life back into old and faded photos, removing creases and stains, unwanted and distracting items – a wonderful way to surprise your family.

• Home movies on DVD – memories on camcorder, slide or cine? Foto Finish can transfer them to DVD to keep for ever. They offer the highest-quality transfers from all camcorder types as well as cine film. It’s a wonderful way to bring these memories back to life.

Foto Finish, 117 St George’s Road, Brighton.

Call 01273 699711 or see www.fotofinishbrighton.co.uk

With the Brighton Festival on our doorsteps, a lot of us will be heading out in search of an original piece of artwork, but by the end of May you are faced with the question of where to go to get your treasure framed.

Brighton Framing Gallery believe what goes on inside your frame is as important as what looks good on the outside, which is why they insist on using the highest quality materials to ensure your artwork is beautifully displayed but also lovingly cared for. Archival tapes, ph neutral backing, speciality mount-board with protective technology and UV-filtering glass are just some of the materials on offer here.

Owner-run with an on-site workshop, you will receive an experienced and careful assessment of your artwork to find the most suitable level of framing. So, before you run off to a chain store for a predictable and ill fitting frame, show some respect and bring your artwork to someone who cares.

Brighton Framing Galleries Ltd, 103 St George’s Road, Brighton,. Call 01273 696221 or see www.brightonframing.com

Sawadee

Spirit Wife by Jemma Treweek

Sawadee is a busy Thai restaurant in St James’s Street, Kemp Town, serving up a variety of freshly prepared Thai dishes made with authentic ingredients by an experienced team. The set menus at Sawadee offer exceptional value and are an excellent way to experience the variety of food that makes up a traditional Thai meal.

The set menus are designed to give you a combination of flavours, from the grilled chicken skewers with spicy peanut dipping sauce to the hand-made mini spring rolls or canapés with their sweet dipping sauces, the spicy and sour Tom Yum soups, tangy red and green curries and mellow stir-fries of fish, meat or beancurd, flavoured with fresh Thai herbs, served with vegetables and steamed jasmine rice. A homemade Thai dessert finishes the meal. There is a vegetarian set menu too. The set menus are designed for a minimum of two people sharing.

Open every day 12–3pm and 5–11pm.

Sawadee Thai Restaurant, 87 St James’s Street, Brighton. Call 01273 688003

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FASHION

Sun it up

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With summer well and truly on its way, Harriet Hoff selects the hottest sunny essentials The sun is well and truly making a move for centre stage at last.

That means it’s time to shift your winter wardrobe up into the loft and start filling your rail with summer delights. This year expect to be in nothing much else other than a floaty dress and flip flops.

Dresses are full and billowing, with lengths going from extremely short (only for the youthful) to maxi length (great for all of us).

Jazz up your dress with a big bag and some statement jewellery (plastic reigns).

1 Get some colour in your life with this block colour dress which will look hot with a cardi and skinny jeans on cold days, and a tan when the sun’s out. Dress, £25, Dorothy Perkins 2 This dress takes me back to being a kid when Laura Ashley was the only thing to be seen in. Smock dress, £45, French Connection 3 For a bit of summer loving add a floaty mini to your swimsuit. Get hot on the beach! Colourful mini dress, £18, Miss Selfridge 4 Cute and wearable, this retro-look mini will look great with leggings if you’re feeling shy! Retro mini, £34.99, River Island 5 Every dress needs a cosy cover-up for the long summer evenings down on the beach. This retro-look burnt red jacket will keep you looking hot.

Jacket from a selection at Wallis 6 At last, time to free your toes again – the flip flop is back! Flip flops, £22, Faith 7 You can never have enough pairs of sunnies, so cheap and cheerful is the way to go. 60s-style shades, £14, Miss Selfridge 8 Invest in a great big summer bag. White’s always a winner, as it complements the summer palette. White stud bag, £49.99, River Island

L7 In the city

L7’s guide to what’s new and what’s happening in and around Brighton and Hove

Buzzing with style Enzo Hair and Beauty is a classic urban destination where creativity flows as clients and stylists interact. Whether you’re looking for an outrageous change or a simple clean-up, the highly skilled professionals at Enzo will tailor their fresh, cutting-edge techniques to fit your style. Personal grooming doesn’t end with your visit. You’ll leave the salon with great ideas, professional products and expert tips to maintain your look at home.

Each year managing director, Bill Stewart, visits his native USA to collaborate with other top stylists. He returns with new perspectives, new products and stunning new techniques to add to the Enzo experience. On a recent trip to the States, he discovered a product line that has been getting quite a bit attention in the press lately – Bumble and bumble. After contacting them and trying the products, he was completely convinced that Bumble and bumble would be just what his clients were looking for in a haircare line.

Enzo Hair and Beauty is the exclusive salon stockists of the entire Bumble range in Brighton. “People come from all over Sussex just to buy the fabulous products,” says Bill.

Enzo Hair and Beauty is a place where clients are attended to by a dedicated team of the very best colourists, cutters and beauty therapists, whose driving

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motivation is a personal desire to provide the ultimate salon experience. “Getting it right starts the minute the client steps foot in the salon. Everything from remembering how a client takes their tea to the custombuilt shampoo basins is considered to be an integral part of the Enzo experience.”

Bumble and bumble Exclusive haircare company Bumble and bumble began as a salon in 1986 in New York. Founder Michael Gordon was disappointed at the time with the products on the market available to his stylists. At the time, they were using one product from one range, one from another. It was clear that there was nothing on the market to meet the demand for a good strong styling range and so the Bumble and bumble product range was born.

The birth of the range came from the work of Michael and his talented team. The styling range was launched in 1990, but by 1992 the brand had become so soughtafter that a wet line was introduced.

Creation of product ideas originated from Michael. Passionate hairdressers’ creativity has helped to achieve an outstanding haircare range. Bumble and bumble do not create products in a marketing boardroom like other companies do, but create innovative products that hairdressers need to be better at their craft.

Some say shampoo is just shampoo but Bumble and bumble disagree. Their range of cleansers meets a broad range of needs, whether it’s dry, oily, ultra-fine or normal, you can be sure there is something for everyone.

Bumble and bumble styling products are designed to work under the rigorous conditions of the photo studio, fashion runways, the salon and your home. Their genius lies in the fact that they can be mixed and layered to create an unlimited palette of effects for any type of hair. Choose a mood or change it every day.

Fans of Bumble and bumble span far and wide. Movie star Natalie Portman loves Alojoba Shampoo and Conditioner, Desperate Housewife Teri Hatcher has a passion for Surf Spray and Radio DJ Zoe Ball loves Sumotech. Once you try Bumble and bumble, you will never want to go back.

Enzo Hair and Beauty, 16 St George’s Road, Kemp Town Village, Brighton, 01273 622200.

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ANDREW KAY’S FOOD&DRINK

I love a lassi Andrew Kay lunches alone on thali at Deli India in Brighton I can often be seen lunching alone in Brighton, usually poring over the quick crossword in The Guardian, and occasionally over the hard one too. I love lunch, and unlike many people I like to lunch alone when the need arises. It arises all too often these days it has to be said.

Two things motivate me, something tasty and something close to hand. That’s on busy days, and like solo lunches they happen all too often too.

It’s easy to tire of the local fare. I can’t get that excited about sandwiches, pubs make me want to drink and fast food is no longer an option. I remember clearly when the office was down at Brighton Marina and the choices were the Asda caff or McDonald’s – unless, that is, you splurged on the pub or an expensive and odd Italian.

Today I popped on my red duffel coat and menaced my way from New England House to Trafalgar Street in Don’t Look Now style, only stopping once on the way to pick up a Guardian before dropping into Deli India.

Deli India has been open a while now and I feel guilty that I have not reported on it before. I have eaten there on several occasions but usually when I am in a hurry and never with a camera in hand.

Today I was a little more relaxed and had the camera charged and ready for action.

‘‘Deli India is not really a deli, it’s a little bit deli, a little bit café and a little bit take-away. It’s also more than a little bit good’’

Sponsored by The rest of the thali included a chapatti, some rice and an assortment of dips as side dishes to accompany the larger dishes. And what dishes! There were two chunks of spicy cumin chicken which I dipped into the rich raitha and then into the sweet sour tamarind. I loved a dish of curried minced lamb with peas and potatoes – if Indians made shepherd’s pie then this would be it. It’s the sort of food that sticks to your ribs and makes you smile. A chicken curry was pale but not insipid, the sauce light but spiky, hot but not ridiculously so. I recently had a curry with a friend who chose something so hot that we worried that she might blow her nose on the naan bread.

There was plenty to eat too, no skimpy portions here. The last dish was dhal. “Tarka or mung?” they asked. I resisted the otter jokes and plumped for tarka. I love dhal; I spent years eating dhal soup almost every day in a Clapham tandoori that did business lunches. There it always came with a thick slice of lemon to squeeze into the creamy pulses. Here it came plain, but none the worse for that. I saved most of the bread and the majority of the dhal till last and then used my finger to clean the bowl.

To drink I chose a lassi, not only to give me the awful pun for the headline but because I really like the salty ones.

Deli India is a breath of fresh air, clean, light and pretty, with charming staff who genuinely seem to care that you are having a good time. They also sell some ingredients and I notice that the range had increased. They have a great selection of teas, for example, and can make up nice hampers as gifts if you ask.

So how much for this lunchtime repast? Well around £11 in total, which, while being perhaps more in monetary terms than a can of fizzy pop and a butty, was in every other sense a bargain. Fresh, made with love and served with charm – if only I could say that every time I dine out.

Deli India, 81 Trafalgar Street, Brighton, 01273 699985

Passionate about property, fanatical about food 59 Church Road, Hove 01273 735237 www.callaways.co.uk

Deli India is not really a deli, it’s a little bit deli, a little bit café and a little bit take-away. It’s also more than a little bit good – in fact it’s very good indeed. I recently raved about an Indian meal in Croydon which was first class and dead cheap. Deli India, while having a shorter menu, offers the same sort of terrific value.

I found a table and had a look at the blackboard, a pointless exercise as I had decided while walking over that I wanted the meat thali which is £7.50. The vegetarian version is only £6.50 but I had my omnivore head on and meat was required.

I also ordered a side dish of chicken samosas. I have had them before and they are delicious, filled with spicy minced chicken in a remarkably ungreasy pastry case. The thali itself also included one, which I had forgotten, but I am in a very hungry phase right now so I did not mind a bit. Added to which there was no one there to tell me off or comment on my eyes being bigger than my belly – were my eyes so, I would topple over.

New Exciting Menus Dinner Menu (3 course) £25.00 Sunday to Thursday 6pm till close ~~~~~

Lunch Menu (2 course) £11.95 Sunday to Friday 12pm to 5pm Or choose from our à la Carte menu ~~~~~ Please visit our web site to view menus

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latest hot

The Gourmet Fish & Chip Company

The Terraces Bar, Grill and Dining Room

LIST

The Gourmet Fish and Chip Company at Brighton Marina has taken the dish into the 21st century. Diners can enjoy fantastic top-grade fish and chips in a trendy diner environment and even enjoy a beer while they wait for their takeaway order. Check out the gourmet fish platter and lunch-time specials. The restaurant is located on the ground-floor level of the waterfront and is open seven days a week. Fully licensed.

The Walk of Fame, 18 Waterfront, Brighton Marina, 01273 670701 www.gourmetfishandchipcompany.com

Terraces bar and grill offers customers a relaxed approach to drinking, eating and hospitality. The lower level is available for private parties, wedding receptions, corporate events, Christmas parties, formal dinners or product launches. Whatever you want, you can be sure of an experience as consistently satisfying as the breathtaking views across Brighton seafront.

Madeira Drive, Brighton, 01273 570526, www.the-terraces.co.uk

RESTAURANTS & BARS

RESTAURANTS BRITISH AND MODERN EUROPEAN Bardsley’s Probably Brighton’s most popular fish and chip shop and restaurant with a large loyal clientele. Totally traditional and family-run with all your favourites, but also an excellent blackboard of daily fish specials.

They’re open for lunch and dinner Tuesday to Saturday and it’s also a great party venue. There are massive fish platters and good seasonal seafood. Fish can be fried, grilled or poached, plus vegetarian choices.

22–23a Baker Street, Brighton, 01273 681256

Blanch House The restaurant at Blanch House is an inhouse affair. All involved are dedicated to excellence in food, service and wines but with no pretensions. You can sit back and take pleasure in the relaxed atmosphere of dinner at your best friend’s house while enjoying innovative food, attentive and personal service, and superb wine and cocktail lists. The menu changes with the seasons and availability to ensure that only the freshest high-quality produce is used.

Meat, dairy products and other ingredients are locally sourced and organic where possible. Fish is from the local day boats when available.

17 Atlingworth Street, Brighton, 01273 603504, www.blanchhouse.co.uk

Café Belge Café Belge offers award-winning food (Café Belge Eastbourne received a gold star for food from the prestigious Harden’s Guide 2006) – 50 ways to eat a fresh mussel, salmon fishcakes, award-winning 12” wild boar and beer sausage, fresh sea bass, steak Béarnaise, Toblerone fondue, Belgian waffles – just to give you an insight into what to expect. They also stock more than 100 beers all served in their own glasses, from light and delicious fruit beers to Trapist Monk beers to Belgian Guinness as well as a fine wine list.

64 Kings Rd (corner of West St & seafront), 01273 733290, www.cafebelge.co.uk

The Coach House Friendly restaurant bar in the city centre serving an excellent range of hearty homecooked food, separate evening and lunch menus, and always a selection of roasts on Sunday. Great mussels, steaks, soups and a good wine list. In the winter a central open fire roars, in summer people soak up the late sun on the pretty terrace. The warm atmosphere and good value pricing make this a popular local haunt.

59 Middle Street, Brighton, 01273 719000 www.coachhousebrighton.com

New Steine Bistro Cosy French bistro with regular art exhibitions creating the perfect setting for the appreciation of traditional homemade French cuisine either with friends or for a romantic night out. A hidden gem in the heart of Kemp Town, and very reasonable too! With its daily evening menu at £10.50 weekdays and £14.50 Friday and Saturday.

A la carte menu Tuesday to Saturday 6pm to 10pm for last orders. Available for all celebrations and party bookings with tailormade menu to your needs including live entertainment.

12a New Steine, Brighton, 01273 681546 reservation@newsteinehotel.com www.newsteinehotel.com

Polar Bar East Polar Bar East is pleased to introduce their new Scottish-based winter menu. This is a style of food we southerners are not exactly familiar with, but Rob and Nolan from the Polar are confident it’s going to be a hit with not only the locals, but also new customers.

It’s not surprising considering it’s tipped by celebrity chef Gordon Ramsey as the new food of 2007.

Yes, this so-called peasant food is growing in stature just as many other so called working-class foods have done during the recent years. Its nutritious and wholesome quantity assures that there’s a sense of home in this food. All the meat is supplied by the premium quality butchers Brampton’s of Kemp Town. What to expect – Scots beef, tatties, soups, stews and, of course, haggis. Prices start from £4.

8 St George’s Road, Kemp Town, Brighton, 01273 683334

Ruby Tate’s Situated at the heart of cosmopolitan Kemp Town, Ruby Tate’s oyster and champagne bar really is the pearl of Brighton. From moules marinière to lobster Thermidor, this is a paradise for seafood lovers. The restaurant’s stylish décor and trademark friendly service ensure that diners enjoy the gourmet food and fine champagne in a relaxed, informal atmosphere.

40 St James’s Street, Brighton, 01273 693251

Sevendials Restaurant A smart restaurant in so many ways, excellent food and a sensible variety of menus in chic surroundings. Chef Sam runs a team of food-lovers who deliver time after time, from a simple lunch to a full à la carte dinner. Cooking reflects the seasons rather than fashion, and quality is paramount, with great locally caught fish, game in season and desserts that are a delight plus a wine list that is full of treats without being expensive too. Make the most of the terrace while the weather is warm or the private dining room for a treat.

1 Buckingham Place, Brighton, 01273 885555 www.sevendialsrestaurant.co.uk

GREEK Symposio Greek Taverna In a city with very few Greek eateries it’s great to find somewhere warm and inviting to indulge in some Greek food. From magnificent mezze to classic grilled meats, Symposio has a great taverna atmosphere and the lively style of the venue adds a great ambience to what can be a terrific party venue. Also fabulous for a romantic dinner, family outing or business meal. The moussaka is a must and also the deep red wine-soaked sausages and crisp calamari.

121 Western Road, Hove 01273 779474 www.ipanemarestaurants.com

INDIAN Nooris Indian Cuisine One of Brighton’s longest-standing Indian restaurants and justifiably so. Smart service and a menu that, as well as offering all our favourite dishes, has some interesting and unusual dishes on offer.

Great central location just off the seafront.

Portions are on the very generous side so order carefully. We have always been particularly impressed by the vegetarian menu, especially the malai kupta. Excellent breads and side dishes too. £6.95 for a twocourse meal and £11.95 for a three-course meal with wine.

70 Ship Street, Brighton 01273 329405

ITALIAN Donatello The flagship venue of this local family-run business serving excellent-value Italian food in stylish and spotless surroundings. It is popular with locals in the week but at the weekend it draws an audience from London. There are brilliant-value meal deals on blackboards outside – two courses £6.95, three £8.95 – as well as à la carte. The haunt of celebs in season from soap stars to politicos. Fun, friendly and fabulous value.

Brighton Place, Brighton, 01273 775477, www.donatello.co.uk

Fat Leo Supposedly the budget branch of the Donatello stable but you’d be hard-pressed to see why. Once again, quality family dining in the Italian mould but a little less expensive. Very popular with students and families with young children, Fat Leo has trendy interiors, including the toilets, and a menu that is utterly affordable with the company’s signature set-price boards proclaiming any two courses £5.95, any three courses £7.95.

16–17 Market Street, Brighton, 01273 325135

LATIN AMERICAN Las Iguanas Brazilian cooking has come to town and with it all the fun of the caipirinha. Spicy, fun and inexpensive, this Latin newcomer is already proving popular, especially the two-for-one cocktail deals and an excellent £7 two-course lunch menu. Whacky interiors and a cool cocktail bar give the place a carnival feel all the time and the staff are friendly and fun too. If you don’t know what cachaca is, then it’s time to find out.

7–8 Jubilee Street, Brighton, 01273 573550, www.iguanas.co.uk

SOUTH EAST ASIAN Bali Brasserie Located in a 1960s mansion block, this very popular Indonesian-Malaysian restaurant has a rijsttafel buffet dining menu at £16.95 with a wide and generous range of dishes that are constantly replenished. There is also an à la carte menu. Nice original retro décor, bamboo and cane, pink and gilt, with lots of oriental puppets, jazz playing and a friendly atmosphere. Very Simon Templar.

Kingsway Court, First Avenue, Hove, 01273 323810, 12-2pm, 6.30-10.30pm (till 11pm Friday and Saturday)

SPANISH La Tapa De Oro This large upper room is home to great and authentic Spanish cooking. Tapas has been trendy for years but here the emphasis is on real Iberian food. Favourites include sweet slices of octopus on boiled potato slices dressed with olive oil, lovely ensalad Russe and great jamon Serrano. Informal and friendly, this is a great place for a romantic dinner, family outing, business meal or party.

123 Western Road, Hove 01273 779474 www.ipanemarestaurants.com

THAI Chokdee Possibly the first of its kind, this premium take-away offers fantastic-quality Thai food to your door if you use the home-delivery service or to take away if you are passing.

You can eat in too, as there is a stylish dining area. Counter service does away with additional service charges, so you can enjoy Thai food as often as you like without the fuss. At Chokdee it’s the food that’s the thing. Foodies – start the queue!

98 Goldstone Villas, Hove, 01273 720370, open every day (12pm–3pm and 5pm–11pm)

Sawadee The Thai restaurant that people love, for parties and celebrations, and because they always give the best of times. And why not; this well-priced restaurant pleases repeatedly with dishes we have all grown to love, and some new ones too. We were impressed by the use of authentic ingredients, such as pea aubergines where others use peas. Lots of fish dishes too with bass and pomfret and a great sliced beef salad.

87 St James’s Street, Brighton, 01273 624233, www.sawadeethai.co.uk

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FOOD & DRINK

This popular and stylish Hove café restaurant offers delicious healthy hot and cold food in combination with being an excellent centre for therapies, treatments and classes. Healthy breakfasts, chunky sandwiches, soups, main meals, jacket potatoes and salads form the core of the menu. Freshly pressed fruit and vegetable juices in delicious revitalising combos, delicious fair-trade teas and coffee, vegan and gluten-free options. Open seven days a week, families welcome. You can eat for less than a fiver!

86 Church Road, Hove, 01273 738389, www.revitalise-u.com

BARS & PUBS The Bell This friendly, traditional pub reopened its doors at the end of last year after having undergone extensive refurbishment and is now under new ownership. Tucked away off Blatchington Road, it already has a name for itself for its great value food, freshly made every day from locally sourced products, including fantastic roasts on Sundays. The pub is child friendly and there’s often something extra going on, from quiz nights to live music. There’s also a function room available to hire. If that’s not enough, they also have happy hours every Monday to Friday from 4pm-7pm.

15-17 Belfast Street, Hove, 01273 770773

Blanch House The award-winning cocktail bar is located on the ground floor of the five-storey building and offers an eclectic range of superbly made cocktails. The owner, Chris Edwardes, has managed many renowned bars, restaurants and clubs in London, including the Groucho Club, The Pharmacy, as well as opening the Jazz Café, The Atlantic, and the Ge Club for Conran. His cocktail skills have been described as ’legendary’ by those in the know and with over 30 years’ experience in the industry it was only a matter of time before he opened his own quality venue.

17 Atlingworth Street, Brighton, 01273 603504, www.blanchhouse.co.uk

Image: Martin Brigdale

VEGETARIAN Revitalise (formerly Planet Janet)

The Eagle Great atmosphere, warm welcome, good beer and above all, great food from this gastropub. Hearty, modern food inspired by global cuisine and sensibly priced – you won’t go home hungry or broke. Right in the heart of the North Laine, an excellent place for lunch or dinner. Voted Latest 7 Pub Of The Year.

125 Gloucester Road, Brighton, 01273 607765

GinGin Sophisticated cocktail chic at this stylish St James’s Street bar. Try one of the head barman’s innovative cocktails using unusual mixes and fresh herbs. Cool interiors and a warm and friendly atmosphere which, for once in a city that worships youth, is not ageist.

St James’s Street, Kemp Town, Brighton, 01273 671119

The Hop Poles Great central pub with off-the-wall décor and a loyal clientele of the city’s fashionable best. A fantastic menu of wellpriced food means it gets very busy and seats are at a premium, even in winter on the heated terrace, so get there early.

Excellent free-range meat is specially sourced, while vegetarians are well catered for too.

13 Middle Street, Brighton, 01273 710444

Koba

What’s cooking this week?

Eggs Michel Roux

Koba hosts a happy hour between 5pm and 7pm all week. Three bars over three floors with a dedicated team of mixologists. This venue stands as a flagship of quality in Brighton and has been nominated in the top ten bars/clubs in the UK by The Independent. Good beers, a sensible wine list and, of course, champagne for those special occasions or just the sheer love of it. The perfect venue for a private party or an atmospheric night out. Live music on Thursdays, DJs on the weekend. For free K-list membership go to the website.

135 Western Road, Brighton, 01273 720059, www.kobauk.com

Preston Park Tavern This stunning new gastro-pub is situated on Havelock Road in Fiveways. Fresh, locally sourced food is served seven days a week from the open-plan kitchen. A separate children’s menu is available in this totally non-smoking venue. It boasts a great range of real ales and lagers as well as a 17 bin wine list, all served by the glass or bottle.

88 Havelock Road, Brighton, 01273 542271 Happy hour at Koba

If you’ve overindulged in chocolate eggs over the Easter weekend, take a break from sweet things with traditional eggs – from hens, ducks, quails and even emus.

The choice is yours thanks to this beautiful book and without a piece of chocolate in sight, unless you choose to make a Chocolate Sabayon using hen’s eggs.

This is just one of the recipes featured in Michel Roux’s newly updated book. You may read it to perfect a simple fried egg or to create scrambled eggs that are light, fluffy and edible (it can be difficult to perfect). For those more adventurous, discover new recipe ideas and take the time to create choux pastry and homemade ice creams that can rival the local cake shop with a little practice.

Zara Friend

Portugese-style scrambled eggs Ingredients 4 small clusters of cherry tomatoes (5–6 on each stalk) 50ml olive oil 1 garlic clove, crushed Salt and freshly ground pepper 80g butter

8 eggs, beaten 2tbsp cream Pan juices from roast chicken, lamb or pork, skimmed of fat 12 flat parsley leaves, to garnish Serves 4

1 Soak the clusters of cherry tomatoes in cold water for 20 minutes.

Preheat the oven to 100°C/lowest gas setting. Mix the olive oil with the garlic. Drain the tomato clusters and brush them generously with the garlicky oil. Sprinkle with a little salt, place on a rack set over a roasting pan and cook in the oven for 20 minutes.

2 Melt the butter in a heavy-based saucepan, add the beaten eggs and scramble by cooking over a low heat, stirring gently and more or less continuously with a wooden spoon. It will take 3–4 minutes for the eggs to become just set, but very creamy. Add the cream at the end of cooking and season with salt and pepper.

3 Divide the scrambled eggs between four deep plates. Put a cluster of cherry tomatoes in the middle of each portion and pour a ribbon of warm chicken or meat juices around the eggs. Garnish with parsley leaves and serve immediately.

Eggs by Michel Roux, £9.99 is out now by Quadrille Publishing, ISBN-978-1-84400-311-2

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Worship The Goddess!

Next month, Brighton will play host to a major two-day event attracting many local and South East fairtrade businesses. At the Goddess Show, over 90 stands will be showcasing a stylish selection of arts, crafts, jewellery, fashion and all things mind, body, and spirit – attracting visitors from across the country. 60 per cent of our standholders are from Sussex and 85 per cent from the South East (Sussex, Surrey and Kent).

Visitors will be invited to sample delicious organic wine, while having a relaxing massage from Rare And Organic. You can also discover fabulous jewellery from Athens and Milan with Ginstel Collections, find ‘shoes to die for, darling’ with London’s Shoe Queen and purchase handcrafted Amazonian and vegetable ivory jewellery with Jungle Berry and LeJu Designs. Two Feathers and Retail Therapy from Brighton’s North Laine will be supplying Native American crafts and organic toiletries.

A wide range of free performances and workshops will be a feature of the show, including Estrondo – with their infectious Brazilian rhythms – plus professional belly dance teacher Galit Mersand and songwriter Helen Glavin, who has worked for the BBC, all from the Brighton area.

There will be something for everyone in this family show, which is the first of its kind. “We chose Brighton for the first Goddess Show because if you are going to try something new and challenging, Brighton is the place to do it,” says Boktalo Promotions representative Jasper Lee. “The response has been phenomenal and we are now taking the show to York and are already organising the second Goddess Show South for 2008.”

The Goddess Show, Brighton Racecourse, 21 and 22 April, £4 (children under 13 free). Brighton Goddess Show programmes will be available from 4 April.

Boktalo Promotions’ Forthcoming Shows: The Goddess Show North, York, 2 September 2007 The Really Naff Show, Hove, 21 October 2007 The All Things Christmas Show, Hove, 2 December 2007

THE VAULT BAR BISTRO NEW SPRING/SUMMER MENU LAUNCHING 4TH APRIL 2 COURSE LUNCH £7.95 TUES–THURS LIVE JAZZ EVERY WEDNESDAY RELAXED, MODERN & FRIENDLY DRINK EAT CHAT

168 PORTLAND ROAD, HOVE

01273 730040 24

thousands more properties at www.latesthomes.co.uk

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FILM www.odeon.co.uk

0871 224 4007 Tuesday 10 300 (15) HOT FUZZ (15) MEET THE ROBINSONS (U) MR BEAN’S HOLIDAY (PG) SUNSHINE (15) TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES (PG) THE HILLS HAVE EYES 2 (18)

Wednesday 11 300 (15) HOT FUZZ (15) MEET THE ROBINSONS (U) MR BEAN’S HOLIDAY (PG) SUNSHINE (15) TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES (PG) THE HILLS HAVE EYES 2 (18)

Thursday 12 300 (15) HOT FUZZ (15)

MEET THE ROBINSONS (U) MR BEAN’S HOLIDAY (PG) SUNSHINE (15) TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES (PG) THE HILLS HAVE EYES 2 (18) SENIOR SCREEN: TBC 10.30am

Films showing Friday 13–Monday 16 300 (15) CURSE OF THE GOLDEN FLOWER (15) HOT FUZZ (15) MEET THE ROBINSONS (U) MR BEAN’S HOLIDAY (PG) SUNSHINE (15) TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES (PG) THE HILLS HAVE EYES 2 (18) TIMES NOT AVAILABLE AT TIME OF GOING TO PRESS, PLEASE CHECK WITH CINEMA BEFORE TRAVELLING

www.picturehouses.co.uk

01273 626261 Tuesday 10

Saturday 14

DAYS OF GLORY (15) 2.00, 6.30 LIGHTS IN THE DUSK (PG) 4.30, 9.00

SUNSHINE (15) 9.30 THE LIVES OF OTHERS (15) 3.15, 6.15 KID’S CLUB: ARTHUR AND THE INVISIBLES (U) 11.00am

Wednesday 11 DAYS OF GLORY (15) 2.00, 6.30 LIGHTS IN THE DUSK (PG) 4.30, 9.00 THE FOUNTAIN (12A) 11.00am

Thursday 12 DAYS OF GLORY (15) 2.00, 6.30 LIGHTS IN THE DUSK (PG) 4.30, 9.00

Friday 13 SUNSHINE (15) 12.45, 6.00 THE LIVES OF OTHERS (15) 3.00, 8.30 LATE SHOW: THE HARDER THEY COME (15) 11.30pm

Also showing...

A quick look at all this week’s releases 300 (15) Dir: Zack Snyder Based on Frank Miller’s graphic comic 300 concerns the 480BC Battle of Thermopylae in which 300 Spartans fought against a 100,000strong Persian army. Pure cinematic, pixelated, homoeroticism. Daft but brilliantly flashy this is a no-holds-barred thrill ride which takes pride and pleasure in the trappings of war. (3/5) Showing at Cineworld and Odeon Arthur And The Invisibles (U) Dir: Luc Besson Luc Besson finally loses all credibility with this part animated, part real-life, children’s adventure following the exploits of a young boy as he attempts to save his grandparents’ house. The comedy is sparse and the effects risible to the point of sickly sweet. (2/5) Showing at Duke of York’s Days Of Glory (15) Dir: Rachid Bouchareb Excellent WWII drama focusing on Algerian soldiers fighting for France. The male cast collectively won the Best Actor award at Cannes recently and the depth of performances throughout are admirable if not always electrifying. A stirring portrait of an often forgotten section of the French army who gave their lives to a cause not always their own. (4/5) Showing at Duke of York’s

Sunday 15 SUNSHINE (15) 1.00, 6.15 THE LIVES OF OTHERS (15) 3.15, 8.45

Wednesday 11 300 (15) I WANT CANDY (15) MEET THE ROBINSONS (U) MR BEAN’S HOLIDAY (PG) NORBIT (12A) SUNSHINE (15) TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES (PG) THE HILLS HAVE EYES 2 (18) THE LAST MIMZY (PG)

Thursday 12 300 (15)

Worthing Cinema 01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk please call for times

Tues 10–Sun 15 MEET THE ROBINSONS (U)

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Norbit (12A) Dir: Brian Robbins This mad, chaotic and often excruciating comic farce stars Eddie Murphy in three roles.

Coming off like Big Momma’s House with less laughs, this is frothy cinematic slush. This kind of bile was perhaps the deciding factor on why Murphy deserved not to win at the recent Oscars for his role in Dreamgirls. (2/5) Showing at Cineworld The Fountain (12A) Dir: Darren Oronofsky This flawed but stunning existential epic has been in and out of production hell for close to five years now. Spanning over one thousand years, The Fountain is a story of love, death, spirituality, and the fragility of human existence. Hugh Jackman and Rachel Weisz star in this polymath puzzle of a film. (3/5) Showing at Duke of York’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (PG) Dir: Kevin Munroe The heroes in a half shell return to our screens in this animated feature-length adventure.

There’s no Shredder, Rocksteady or Bebop but there is Patrick Stewart as a tech-industrialist crime lord and a host of neolithic monsters intent on global destruction. A fun but frothy addition to the TMNT canon. (2/5) Showing at Cineworld and Odeon

SUNSHINE (15) 1.00, 6.15 THE LIVES OF OTHERS (15) 3.15, 8.45 PLEASE CHECK WITH CINEMA BEFORE TRAVELLING

01273 818094 300 (15) I WANT CANDY (15) MEET THE ROBINSONS (U) MR BEAN’S HOLIDAY (PG) NORBIT (12A) SUNSHINE (15) TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES (PG) THE HILLS HAVE EYES 2 (18) THE LAST MIMZY (PG)

Mr Bean’s Holiday (PG) Dir: Steve Bendelack Mr Bean returns with his goofy ways as he travels to the south of France. While on holiday mishap and mayhem predictably ensue as Bean ends up having his video diaries screened at the exclusive Cannes Film Festival. Willem Dafoe adds a touch of the macabre to proceedings while Rowan Atkinson once again steals the show in an often touching portrayal of a man deeply out of sync with the rest of the world. (3/5) Showing at Cineworld and Odeon

Monday 16

www.cineworld.co.uk Tuesday 10

his own fate. A film with a cheeky grin for sure but it still falls short of Pixar. (2/5) Showing at Cineworld, Odeon and Worthing

I WANT CANDY (15) MEET THE ROBINSONS (U) MR BEAN’S HOLIDAY (PG) NORBIT (12A) SUNSHINE (15) TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES (PG) THE HILLS HAVE EYES 2 (18) THE LAST MIMZY (PG)

Films showing Friday 13–Monday 16 300 (15) I WANT CANDY (15) MEET THE ROBINSONS (U) MR BEAN’S HOLIDAY (PG) NORBIT (12A) SUNSHINE (15) TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES (PG) THE HILLS HAVE EYES 2 (18) THE LAST MIMZY (PG) TIMES NOT AVAILABLE AT TIME OF GOING TO PRESS, PLEASE CHECK WITH CINEMA BEFORE TRAVELLING

Fri 13–Thur 19 HOT FUZZ (15)

Sun 15–Mon 16 THE QUEEN (12A)

Hot Fuzz (15) Dir: Edgar Wright Superb new offering from the Shaun of the Dead crew. This time it’s the turn of the local bobby to get the comic actioner treatment. The cream of British comedy cram themselves into the picture with everyone from Steve Coogan, Bill Nighy, Martin Freeman, Timothy Dalton and Edward Woodward working their magic.

The last half hour may falter and the joke does admittedly run dry by the final act but this is still a cut above the usual comic fare. (4/5) Showing at Odeon and Worthing I Want Candy (12A) Dir: Stephen Surjik This shameless dirge of a film follows two lads from Leatherhead as they struggle to get funding for their feature film. Unfortunately the only funding they can find is from a porn boss. As a result Carmen Electra saddles up with her prosthetic charms and not much else as the film slowly slips into an artistic coma.

Films like this are the reason that the British Film Industry is perpetually on its knees begging for scraps in the global market. (1/5) Showing at Cineworld Meet The Robinsons (U) Dir: Stephen Anderson More animated frolics in the latest from Disney. Lewis is a brilliant inventor with a penchant for the absurd. When his most-prized invention, the Memory Scanner, is stolen he must travel back in time to save the world and

The Hills Have Eyes 2 (18) Dir: Martin Weisz This unnecessary sequel to Alexandre Aja’s remake of the 1977 film, written by Wes Craven, is a bloated and deathly slick exercise in modern horror. Devoid of the wit of the Scream trilogy this is a cheap and nasty thrill manufactured explicitly to squeeze every last dollar out of the teenage market. Avoid if you can and rent out Suspira instead. (2/5) Showing at Cineworld and Odeon The Last Mimzy (PG) Dir: Robert Shay Two siblings begin to develop special talents after they find a mysterious box of toys. Soon the kids, their parents, and even their teacher are drawn into an often terrifying but always cute world. Joely Richardson stars in this sweet but slightly overbearing film that serves as a faithful adaptation of Lewis Padgett’s short story. (2/5) Showing at Cineworld The Queen (12A) Dir: Stephen Frears Why this contrived royal melodrama won any Oscars or Baftas is baffling. Helen Mirren may give an ostentatious performance as HRH Elizabeth II but it’s nothing more than an able impersonation aided greatly by a good wig and authentic surroundings. The film, with it’s focus on the fall out from Princess Diana’s tragic death in Paris, serves more as a giftshop marketing tool for the American audience. Effective film-making but sterile nonetheless. (3/5) Showing at Worthing

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FILM

L7 lowdown Simon says New releases reviewed

The Lives Of Others (15)

7 Selects

Director Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck Donnersmarck’s astounding movie debut focuses on the horrifying and sometimes funny system of observation in the former East Germany in the early 1980s. Winning Best Foreign Language Film at this years Oscars, the film focuses on the dramatist Georg Dreyman and his longtime companion ChristaMaria Sieland. The film showcases a subtle examination of Cold War politics and state-run espionage.

Dealing with the politics of the individual in light of an oppressive state, this is a superb film humming with a harsh but evocative exploration of love, loss and politics.

Craig Driver Showing at Duke of York’s

The Harder They Come (15)

Curse Of The Golden Flower (15) Director Yimou Zhang Set in 10th century China, on the eve of the Chong Yang Festival, the Curse of the Golden Flower is Yimou’s much anticipated follow-up to his double whammy of Hero and House of Flying Daggers. Li Gong stars again as does Chow Yun Fat as the emperor.

Essentially an episode of EastEnders only with an increased budget and martial arts finery, this is epic melodrama at its most opulent. The most expensive film ever to come out of China, the grandiose theatrics on display would seem to be good practice for Yimou, who has been given the unenviable task of directing the 2008 Olympic Games in Beijing.

Showing at Odeon

Sunshine (15)

Director Danny Boyle Set 50 years into the future, this sci-fi epic sees Danny Boyle resurrect a genre that hasn’t been at full strength since the heady days of Aliens. Set in a world where the sun is beginning to die, the film sees a crew of astronauts sent on a mission to revive the sun and save the world. Michelle Yeoh gives a startling performance, as do Cillian Murphy and a rejuvenated Chris Evans fresh from Fantastic Four shenanigans.

With exceptional production values and effects throughout, this is a film with a nerve of steel and a prescient global warming sentiment.

Showing at Cineworld and Odeon

Director Perry Henzell This 1972 classic stars Jimmy Cliff as Ivanhoe ‘Ivan’ Martin. A poor Jamaican who tries to make it with a hit record, but finds that his record will only be played if he signs away his rights, he turns to dealing marijuana and runs foul of the law. Working underground he quickly becomes an anti-establishment hero. With a superb central performance from Cliff, this is exploitation cinema at it’s most pointed and delivers a kicking soundtrack to go with the political power.

Showing at Duke of York’s

Lights In The Dusk (PG)

Craig Driver talks to star of Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz Simon Pegg about his role in Big Nothing

What was it like working with David Schwimmer, and what was it exactly that appealed to you about Big Nothing?

The writing. It was artful and funny. If you are a writer, you’re always looking for something which is going to be a surprise. This was because I couldn’t anticipate what was going to happen next. And my character, Gus, seemed a loveable sort of guy. He’s a bad boy, but not evil. On my first day of meeting Alice Eve in the film, we had to get naked and do a sex scene together, so that was awkward. It was a case of, “Hi, I’m Simon – climb on board?” She then had to bounce up and down on me.

It’s ridiculous what we do for a living. As for David you can’t help but be taken by his fame because of Friends. We did work together a few years ago in the TV series Band of Brothers, but we didn’t hang out. He was still in Friends and I remember him calling them up, because they were filming one of the last episodes of the series. He was on the phone to them all. It was quite odd. I was impressed. So, yes, it is odd.

When and why did you make your start in this business?

Well, I had always written comedy, even when I was a student at Bristol University. It was always something that interested me – it affords you freedom, as part of the whole process. You are not hanging around as an actor, waiting for the phone to ring to be offered something. That is the way I enjoy working. This eventually led to me taking on stand-up comedy as a profession after uni. I’d been out of university at Bristol for about four years earning my way. For a stand-up it is the most immediate and freeing place you can be – so long as you know the material is good.

When I write new material, I work it into the act. Invariably the early venues are small. You eventually just learn quickly what works and what doesn’t. It can be a baptism of fire at times but it’s always an experience.

What was your first job in the business? I remember vaguely something about a series called Six Pairs of Pants.

First off I was an extra in a German film when I was 12 at Gloucester docks. But, aside from my stand-up, yes I did do a sketch show called Six Pairs of Pants for Meridian TV in 1995 with Jessica Stevenson and Sally Phillips. It was only ever on Meridian though. I was four years out of university and living in Bristol, doing stand-up, hanging about. I didn’t rush to achieve success. I just did the comedy circuit. I was making enough.

The person who ran The Tongue In Cheek, which was at the Mauritania at the bottom of Park Street in Bristol, called my, now, agent who was booking comedy clubs in London and told them about me. I moved to London and tried to make a go of it. The whole fame thing that has come with it is not entirely positive. But it surprises me as fame is a by-product of what you do. It is quite restricting, but it does enable you to do lots of great things. You don’t have to turn into a monster. David Schwimmer, for example, handles it all incredibly well.

What is your trusted method of writing for film and comedy?

My writing partner, Edgar Wright, and I go into an office at nine and work to six, with a break for lunch. We watch loads of films at the outset, if we are taking on a specific genre. We write our ideas down on flip cards or charts.

If we think of a really good joke, we might take the rest of the day off! This is the same routine we followed for Hot Fuzz. We are certainly pleased with the cast we’ve been able to attract, like former James Bond Timothy Dalton. We also had Ken Cranham, Billie Whitelaw, Paul Freeman – we just sent scripts to people and they said yes. Jim Broadbent said after Shaun of the Dead, “If you do something else, I will be in it.” So he’s there, too.

Big Nothing is out on DVD on 16 April and Hot Fuzz is in cinemas now

Director Aki Kaurismäki The predictably rewarding final instalment of Kaurismäki’s Loser Trilogy follows his previous themes of unemployment and homelessness with that of loneliness. Shy nightwatchman Koistinen is virtually ostracised by his fellow security guards and lives alone in a modest apartment until he meets Mirja. This delightfully cautionary fable charts a descent into an unforeseen nightmare of deceit and violence with a low-key blend of humane compassion and deadpan mordant humour. This subtle but tough film glows with a strong sense of hope and compassion. c Showing at Duke of York’s latest 7 27

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MUSIC

THE BIG GIG

THIS WEEK The Horrors Totally contrived and ridiculous-looking band who, despite appearances, are all rather upmarket toffs who haven’t quite grown up, but know how to infiltrate the fickle marketplace with their supremely mapped-out musical image. Revelling in the toxic swamp sewers of their minds, and tapping into the depressingly large number of like-minded goth wannabees, they do sound rather good on record, via the stealing of the rhythmic fuzz barrage of The Ramones, and marrying that to the discordant thrash of early Nick Cave and all those US garage/surf goof bands of the 60s. Lyrically, there’s lots of shouty, negative impressions of people and places. Like the Rocky Horror Show, it’s all about high-camp theatrics, lots of black, and, of course, great music. And you love it!

Wed 11 April, Concorde 2, 01273 673311

The Beat & Neville Staple Alice Cooper The original golf punk continues to hide the wear and tear of unforgiving ageing via the judicious use of make-up and hair dye. Old punks never die…

Tues 13 Nov, Brighton Centre, 0870 9009100

Latest 7’s Top 5 records CocoRosie The Adventures of Ghosthorse and Stillborn (album Touch & Go) Otherworldly soundscapes – sounds like Antony and The Johnsons, Björk and the experimental hip hop of the anticon collective all rolled into one spooky Roald Dahl (mis)adventure. The Casady sisters, Sierra and Bianca, are a highly artistic duo who, along with the production wand of Valgeir Sigursson, continue to push the envelope, creating a fairytale landscape of magical characters and miscreants. The sisters‘ paradoxical voices (one is opera trained) see them juxtaposing eerie soundscapes with childlike stories.

1

Jack Penate Spit At Stars (single XL) A huge talent, capable of generating a massive voltage of vibrant and sunny indie pop. It’s Thamesbeat meets Gene Vincent via checked cutoff shirts, a rock’n’roll floppy fringe and plenty of sex appeal.

2

Alberta Cross The Thief & The Heartbreaker (mini-album Fiction) Songwriting partners Petter Ericson Stakee and Terry Wolfers may be from London but they sound like they lived under the porch while Neil Young cranked out his southern rock classics of the early 70s.

3

Laura Marling London Town EP (EP Way Out West) Mini-blasts of poetry, rampant young adulthood musings, and some stunning songcraft within these four songs. A feminised Jamie T.

4

Andrew Bird Armchair Apocryphia (album Fargo Records) One-man orchestra who feeds all manner of instrumentation through a sampling pedal to create unique, accessible, and magical sounds.

5

Sometimes referred to as The English Beat (there is another version of the band featuring one of the original members, Dave Wakeling), this legendary Two-Tone band formed in Birmingham in 1978, and scored a number of hits including ‘Mirror In The Bathroom’ and ‘Tears Of A Clown’.

The band also featured the toasting vocalist Ranking Roger who is still with the band. They’ll be joined on-stage by legendary Specials singer Neville Staple, who collaborated with The Beat back in the 80s on such tracks as ‘Free Nelson’.

Fri 13 April, Concorde 2, 01273 673311

Loudon Wainwright III After catching the young Dylan live in 1962, Loudon Wainwright III set about becoming a folk artist, and in 1970 he released his first album for Atlantic. However, his unflinching lyrical candour and skewed humour have set him apart from his contemporaries, and he’s developed a cult following over the years thanks to this musical trait. More recently, he’s suddenly come into his own again following the emergence of his offspring, Martha and Rufus, who have made the Wainwright family one of the most famous in show business.

Sat 14 April, Brighton Dome, 01273 709709

Luke Toms There’s the sonic ghost of the Supertramp and Elton John in there somewhere, plenty of unabashed romanticism, a bit of dodgy prog from the early 70s courtesy of such ‘legends’ as Caravan and Focus, and a swoonsome adoration of all things 30s.

What Toms loves is making music that has a ‘complete lack of musical rules’. Debut album The Forever House is part of the current zeitgeist of heart-tugging ballads, sunshine pop, Beatlesesque/ ELO orchestration and unexpected experimental flourishes à la Mika.

Mon 16 April, Joogleberry, Brighton, 01273 687171

For music listings see our day-to-day guide starting on page 39 28 latest 7

If you would like your event listed please email listings@thelatest.co.uk

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MUSIC

BRIGHTON SCENE A weekly round-up of what’s happening in the local Brighton and Sussex music scene Back in the dark ages of the Mark Van Eede of Cutting Crew British music scene (the mid-80s to be precise), there really wasn’t that much to talk about beyond The Smiths and a handful of vaguely interesting post new wave bands. New romanticism, big hair and clinical production values were the order of the day. Success over the pond was also very hard to achieve (as it still is), but one band who actually had a number one over there was Cutting Crew (Thurs 12 April, Komedia). ‘(I Just) Died In Your Arms’ was the song, selling over three milion singles worldwide. A couple more hits followed including ‘I’ve Been In Love Before’, but the band called it a day in the early 90s. Now they’re back, reformed in 2006 with original member, and now Brighton-based, Mark Van Eede, heading the band. Comback album Grinning Souls is a well crafted, big-sounding guitar-based collection that shows he has not lost the knack for writing memorable songs.

On the release front there’s a brace of great singles by Brightonbased acts. My Little Problem are signed to the Brighton Life Is Easy label. New single ‘Bench Sleeping’ is another gently lilting, countryflecked tune in the same vein as their stunning debut ‘These Little My Little Problem Things’. Check out the wondrous animated video (done for all of £100) via www.myspace.com/mlpsongs.

They’ll be playing in May as part of The Great Escape. Meanwhile The Mojo Fins ‘Pinata Face’ is being released via Amazon Records, and is also a beautifully crafted slice of dark and melancholy acoustica, with a memorable hook, and great production. Catch them at Joogleberry next Tuesday (17 April).

And then there’s the magnificent Dylanesque ‘You’re Lovely To Me’

by Lucky Jim, a track that originally saw the light of day three years Lucky Jim ago on their debut album, but thanks to its recent use on the Windmill bread advert, is being re-released to cash in on the sudden exposure. Well deserved, too.

Nik Barrell and The GinClub (Thurs 12 April, Red Roaster) have just released their debut album, the first release on the new Brighton label Folklaw, run by three Brighton musicians including Fink, Tim Bidwell and Elliott Richards. His gorgeous, easy-going brand of acoustic country and roots music has been receiving plenty of good reviews. They’ll be joined

by Faces For Radio (doing a radio set), the Brighton-based acoustic soul of Emily Baker and Dan Clarke of The Hat performing a solo set.

Send your music and news to Jeff Hemmings, Music Editor, Latest 7, Unit 1, Level 5, New England House, New England Street, Brighton BN1 4GH. Listen to Jeff and Megan Goodwin on Latest 7 on the Radio, Mon–Thu, 10pm–midnight, Juice 107.2FM or via www.latest7.co.uk/podcasts. Read and reply to his blog: www.latest7.co.uk/blogs

latest 7 on the radio Tune into Radio Reverb 97.2FM Mon-Fri, 4-6pm, for the latest music, art, culture, politics, community and entertainment news, with Jeff Hemmings and guests.

If you would like your event listed please email listings@thelatest.co.uk

THE MONTH AHEAD The Waterboys Emerging on the scene in the early 80s, Mike Scott and his Waterboys have been a moveable feast with only Scott as the one constant factor. Early albums included World Party frontman Karl Wallinger, but it was their mid 80s albums This Is The Sea and Fisherman’s Blues that represented their creative peak, bringing folk back into the consciousness, and which featured a host of traditional Irish musicians that added Celtic fire to the epic brew. Scott and The Waterboys have a new album out and they continue to excel live with their blend of rousing rock’n’roll, acoustic soul and firebrand folk.

Sun 22 April, Brighton Dome, 01273 709709

The Maccabees The Brighton band most likely to for 2007 have been busy preparing themselves for this moment. There’s plenty of touring at the moment, including a Bloc Party support in the USA, and then there’s the allimportant debut album release in May. Up to now the band (named after the Jewish rebels who established an independent Jewish land in the second century BC) have released a string of superb singles including one of the best singles of last year, ‘First Love’, that eventually had the NME touting them as the best band in Britain. Fronted by Orlando Weeks, their songs are immediately hummable, musical, dynamic and utterly at the cutting-edge of the UK indie rock scene.

Wed 18 & Thurs 19 April, Old Market, Hove, 01273 736222

NOWBOOKING James Taylor 18 Apr, Brighton Dome The Maccabees 18 & 19 April, Old Market The Skatalites 22 Apr, Komedia The Waterboys 22 Apr, Brighton Dome Miss Dynamite 27 Apr, Beach The Church 28 Apr, Concorde 2 One Night of Queen 28 Apr, Brighton Centre Deep Purple 29 Apr, Brighton Centre Australian Pink Floyd 30 Apr, B’ton Centre McFly 30 Apr, Brighton Dome Jason Donovan 1 May, Brighton Dome Chris Difford 8 May, Komedia The LoveGods 10 May, Komedia Shooglenifty 11 May, Komedia The Great Escape 17-19 May, various venues in Brighton, www.escapegreat.com Willy Mason 18 May, Pavilion Theatre Tom McRae 20 May, Concorde 2 Ray Davies 26 May, Brighton Centre

G4 24 May, Brighton Centre Girls Aloud 29 May, Brighton Centre Pet Shops Boys 30 May, Brighton Centre Manic Street Preachers 6 June, B’ton Dome Allen Toussaint 15 June, Brighton Dome INXS 17 June, Brighton Dome Ronan Keating 21 June, Stanmer Park Blackmore’s Night 23 June, Brighton Dome Jools Holland & Lulu 23 June, Borde Hill Garden, Haywards Heath The 80s, Here & Now 22 June, Stanmer Park Beverly Knight, Jamelia, Lemar 23 June, Stanmer Park Royal Philharmonic 24 June, Stanmer Park Don McLean 23 Oct, Brighton Centre Alice Cooper, Motorhead 13 Nov, Brighton Centre Babyshambles 25 Nov, Brighton Centre

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MUSIC&MOLLY

Robin Matheou’s

Foxy Mamma Malone

Mic socialites This week, Dr Syntax discusses life since his move from Brighton to London What have you been up to since you moved to London?

I moved up to London specifically to push my music as much as possible. I did a 15 date tour with Stig Of The Dump and DJ Newborn from October to January. I’ve been recording with Foreign Beggars and Stig, and I’ve been doing a few radio shows here and there.

Basically, I’ve been keeping myself busy, promoting our current releases while preparing for the next one.

How does it differ from Brighton in regards to your music?

It’s crazy as there are just so many people who are, or claim to be, MCs up here. It’s swarming with them. It’s interesting as I’ve got a solid reputation in Brighton, and while I’ve got a profile elsewhere to a certain extent, I’m still fairly unknown in London, so I’m busy trying to increase awareness of myself before the LP drops.

How is the album coming along?

The album’s coming out on 1 June. It’s called Self Taught and features Wordsmith, Enlish, Orifice Vulgatron and DJ Manipulate to name a few.

I’m very pleased with it and it’s an interesting time to release an album, as there hasn’t been that much of note out recently from the UK. How was the tour with Stig?

The tour was a lot of fun. It was touring at the lowest level – a proper toilet tour – but it was amusing nonetheless. Gigs would range from a packed club in Bristol to a near-empty bar in Northern Ireland – we never knew what we’d be up against. I don’t think any amount of rehearsal can get a show tight like a tour can, because you find out what works through trial and error. We got some pretty good handson experience. My liver may need some time to recover though.

Any releases planned for Fatty and Specky?

Hell, yeah. At the moment it’s all about my solo LP, and the single, ‘She’s Quite Some Picture’, which is out on 7 May, and Stig’s single featuring RA The Rugged Man, ‘Braindead’. But we’re working on our LP at the moment. It’s going to be different from what I’ve done before – a lot more childish and ignorant, but a whole lot of fun.

Do you have any other collaborations on the horizon?

I’ve done an album with Skrein from Underground Alliance. Together we are ‘Skreintax’, and the album’s called Scene Stealers. That’s coming out later this year.

What are your plans for the rest of the year?

Stack papers, rest and dress, get my grown man on etc. Basically, I will be promoting my album as much as possible, doing more shows, drinking more chasers, falling up more flights of stairs... generally acting like a 14-year-old as much as possible.

For upcoming shows and to hear some songs go www.myspace.com/drsyntax

Mamma Malone finds out feeding your baby houmous can land you in hospital Do you ever think someone might fancy you, flirt with you, smile, then say (while looking deep into your eyes), “So, where’s your mate? I quite fancy your mate.” That happens to me all the time – so annoying. Right.

Got your attention.

Now let’s talk about babies and houmous. Yes, houmous. It looks so innocent doesn’t it? Creamy chickpea protein heaven, all innocent and smooth, lying in its petite compact container. Well, it’s not. It’s an evil, dangerous concoction of devil food, ie sesame seeds. I think the baby is allergic to them. Yesterday, I fed her houmous after the midwife’s advice: “At seven months you can give her anything, except honey – don’t give her that till she’s a year old.” I need to feed her some veggie-style protein. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I like a steak, but there’s something wrong about getting some chicken, putting it in a blender and feeding the smelly mush to your baby. I wouldn’t eat it – why should she? Mind you, I wouldn’t sit in my own faeces wearing a nappy or cry to be picked up. Ahum... actually I do that one (the crying to be picked up, not the sitting in my own faeces).

“I suddenly reel with horror as I look at her face – her right eye is bulging, her face is covered in welts, and her hands are dark purple!”

Anyhoo, in an attempt to get some protein in her to make her sleep longer, I gave her houmous. She loved it! I was glad she was finally eating happily. While changing her clothes (puréed food gets everywhere), I notice she’s scratching her neck. Thinking it’s just from bits of porridge stuck in her neck fold, I suddenly reel with horror as I look at her face. It’s quickly swelling up, her right eye is bulging, her face is covered in welts, and her hands are dark purple! I actually panic.

I never panic. I’m always good in a crisis. Not so now. I panic, running from room to room holding her naked rashy body, telling myself to be calm. I ring an ambulance and a rapid response team arrive really quickly and give the baby an oxygen mask. She’s teething, so she just chews on it, inhaling only a small amount of the oxygen. You’re legally required to use a car seat with babies, but the rapid response team don’t have one and neither do I (I don’t have a car – Jesus, where would I park round here?). I have to hold the baby, which is even more stress – I now have to worry about them driving safely! I figure if we do crash, being with two ambulance crew is probably the best situation I can hope for.

Casualty administered antihistamine and told me to get to an allergy clinic; we don’t want it to progress to anaphylactic shock, so we need to find out what it is. I think it’s sesame seeds, but we’ll have to see.

In the meantime, I’ll have to go careful with this weaning malarkey, as there are clearly hidden dangers lurking and an afternoon spent in casualty is not my idea of fun.

For comments and chit chat email editorial@thelatest.co.uk

Crossword solutions Solution to Cryptic 87 ACROSS: 1 Blackbird 8 Liar 9 Athletics 11 Eaglet 13 Water 15 Tsar 16 Digit 17 Tipsy 18 Riser 19 Used 20 Daunt 22 Orchid 25 Northerly 26 Road 27 Frankness.

DOWN: 2 Late 3 Cellar 4 Bathe 5 Race 6 Biologist 7 Gratitude 10 Sandy 12 Starboard 13 Waistcoat 14 Rapid 17 Train 19 Unseen 21 Anton 23 Dour 24 Alas.

Solution to Quick 87 ACROSS: 1 Pantomime 8 Snap 9 Animation 11 Nation 13 Snare 15 Long 16 Elude 17 Dated 18 Occur 19 Stye 20 Rusty 22 Subtle 25 Landlords 26 Oars 27 Engrossed DOWN: 2 Aunt 3 Timing 4 Motor 5 Moon 6 Antiquity 7 Spinneret 10 Named 12 Bloodshot 13 Snackbars 14 Enter 17 Drill 19 Stools 21 Under 23 Earn 24 Edge. © Crossword Shop

30 latest 7

For coverage in this magazine email editorial@thelatest.co.uk

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BARS &CLUBS

★Latest 7 goes Mr Potatohead mad at The Hope

Preston, Fri 13 The Ocean Rooms

THIS WEEK AND THE MONTH AHEAD Kliks @ Audio Maybe it’s because Brighton in general likes its music upfront and brash rather than slinky and intricate, but minimal techno hasn’t the same hold on the city’s clubs as in other parts of the UK. An early champion of the music is Lee Smith, erstwhile iDJ journo and club promoter who has been slowly sending minimal fizzling and clattering its way onto the scene since Kliks started in 2003. Tonight he’s taking over Audio with some select guests for some choice stripped-down techno action to send fingers, rather than hands, in the air.

Audio, 10 Marine Parade, Sat 14 April, £8/£6.

Time First Birthday @ Honey Club Was that really twelve whole months that just went by? It must be, since the night with a mission to bring poly-sexual house music to Brighton is now preparing to blow out the candles on its first birthday cake. Helping get the party started will be world class DJs Junior Jack and Kid Creme plus a few hundred hedonistic punters. For those who can’t get enough of a good thing there’s a desirable after party, and for the rest of us the promise of seeing dawn on the beach. Lovely.

Honey Club, 214 Kings Road Arches, Mon 9 April, 10pm–4am, £10

Massacre presents @ Ocean Rooms This looks to be the summer that indie finally faces up to dance culture with everyone from Pete Doherty down using DJ gigs as an easy way to bolster their record advances. This Friday, it’s the turn of Ordinary Boys/ Big Brother arch-geezer Preston to give the ones and twos a go. Just don’t mention his other half’s autobiography; we don’t want him storming off the decks à la his huffy turn on Never Mind The Buzzcocks.

Ocean Rooms, 1-2 Morley Street, Fri 13 April, 11pm–4am, £5

Totally Techno @ Volks Doing exactly what it says on the tin and then some, Totally Techno beams down to planet Volks with a hard drive packed full of tough house and pummelling repetitive beats designed to keep things grinding along nicely until dawn. Tonight’s jams are kicked out courtesy of resident DJs Lisa Peaches and Dave Randall with special guest Chris Liberator upping the ante even further.

Volks, 3 Madeira Drive, Thu 12 April, 11pm–6am, £4/£3/£2

Wednesday 18 April is a special night at The Hope as The World ‘Make A Mr Potatohead’ Contest returns.

That’s right – for one special evening Soundtank and the Potatoheads present this special night at the popular Queens Road pub. Hosted by the Soundtank collective, this memorable evening will be packed with great live music and craftmaking fun. Bring along a potato or similar root vegetable to carve and get £1 off the door fee.

Accompanying your potatohead-making will be the sounds of London band Special Benny (hot on the heels of supporting Alabama 3) as well as two excellent acoustic acts.

As with any contest, there are hot prizes to give away for the best Mr Potatohead, so raid the kitchen, grab a potato and get creative at The Hope.

Zara Friend The World ‘Make A Mr Potatohead’ Contest takes place at The Hope, Queens Road, Brighton on Wednesday 18 April, £5/£4

LATE NIGHT BARS

It’s past midnight, you’re still thirsty but don’t want to go clubbing; here’s our guide to after-hours drinking Above Audio 10 Marine Parade, Brighton, 01273 606906 Sun–Thu, until 1am, Fri–Sat, until 2am Aqua Bar 23 Waterfront, Brighton Marina, 01273 819800, Sun–Thu, 11am–12am, Fri–Sat, 11am–2am Arc Bar 160 King’s Road Arches, Brighton, 01273 770505, Mon–Sun, until 2am Cosmopolitan Bar The Cosmopolitan Hotel, 29-31 New Steine, Marine Parade, Brighton, Mon–Thu, 4pm–12am, Fri 4pm–2am, Sat 3pm–2am, Sun 12pm–11.30pm Earth and Stars 46 Windsor Street, Brighton, 01273 722879, Sun–Thu, until 1am, Fri–Sat, til 2am The Fiddler’s Elbow 11 Boyce’s Street, Brighton, 01273 325850, Sun–Thu, until 2am, Fri–Sat, until 3am Fish Bowl 74 East Street, Brighton, 01273 777505, Sun–Wed, until 2am, Thu–Sat, until 3am The Freebutt 1 Phoenix Place, Brighton, 01273 603974, Sun–Thu, until 12am, Fri–Sat, until 1am The Globe 78 Middle Street, Brighton, 01273 770685, Sun–Wed, until 2am, Thu–Sat, until 3am Grand Central 29-30 Surrey Street, Brighton, 01273 329086, Sun–Wed, until 12am, Thu–Sat, until 2am The Hope 11-12 Queen’s Road, Brighton, 01273 325793, Sun–Wed, until 12am, Thu–Sat, until 2am

The Joogleberry 14-17 Manchester Street, Brighton, 01273 687171, Mon–Sat, 11am–1am, Sunday until 12am Koba 135 Western Road, Brighton, 01273 720059, www.kobauk.com.

Mon–Thu, until 5am, 24 hours over the weekend Rehab Bar Waterfront, Brighton Marina, 01273 675007, Sun–Thu, until 12am Riki Tik 18a Bond Street, Brighton, 01273 683844, until 3.30am Fri and Sat Saqqara 158 North Street, Brighton, 01273 779701, until 2am Sidewinder 65 St James’s Street, Brighton, 01273 608571, Sun–Thu, until 1am, Fri–Sat, until 2am St Christopher’s The Palace Hotel, 10-12 Grand Junction Road, Brighton, 01273 202035, until 2am Vanilla 73a Western Road, Hove, 01273 748182, Tue–Thu, 5.30pm–1.30am, Fri–Sat, 5pm–2.30am, Sun 12pm–1am, closed Mondays Western Front 11 Cranbourne Street, Brighton, 01273 725656, Sun–Wed, until 2am, Thu–Sat, until 3am Zoot Street Bar 8 Queen’s Road, Brighton, 08712 235776, Sun–Wed, 5pm–11pm, Thu–Sat, 5pm–1pm

For bar/club listings see our day-to-day guide starting on page 39 latest 7 31

032_LS316_gay

4/4/07

1:06 PM

Page 2

GAY

News

Scaffiti storms Brighton Rocks A new exhibition of works by Brighton-based artist Sean Patrick Samuels is launching at Brighton Rocks bar on Rock Place. ‘Scaffiti’ (pictured) is from a selection of work inspired by backstreets, graffiti and communication through pictures and codes. The work attempts to reveal that beneath the surface of urban regeneration lies a colourful origin shared by the underdog the world over. From Thursday 19 April. Find out more at www.seanpatricksamuels.com

CHOICE Tue 10 Apr

Fri 13 Apr

R-Bar 12pm–2am. Sussex beacon fundraiser.

Student night. Lady James on stage at 9.30pm selected drinks £2 all night. 5–9pm happy hour.

Queen’s Arms 2.30pm–1am. Food, wi-fi access and happy hour till 7pm. Andy B’s camp attack with spice. Text the DJ!

Wed 11 Apr Revenge 10.30pm–3am. Strut your stuff at 70s heaven. £2 before 11, £3 after. Free entry if dressed to theme.

Selected drinks just £1.50.

Thu 12 apr Charles Street Club 10.30pm–3am Religion.

Hosted by Mother Superior Joan Bond with DJs Richard Bones and Tony B on the decks. £5/£4 flyer/£3 NUS.

A new landlady in the zone The Zone bar on St James’s Street has a new landlady. Irish wonderwoman Sharon Barr is taking the reins with immediate effect. “This is a very exciting time for The Zone,” says Sharon. “We’re going to spend some money on the venue, rebrand it and introduce some new attractions.” Watch out for morning openings with coffee and croissants, good music at a volume that allows you to have a conversation, and cabaret on Sundays. “We want it to be an alternative bar that welcomes everyone,” Sharon says.

The bar may be out of ‘The Zone’ soon, with a new name – look out for Barr One, coming soon. Best of luck Sharon!

Pubs & bars

Amsterdam, 11 Marine Parade Bar, hotel, sauna and popular summer terrace. Food available every day. 01273 688825 www.amsterdam.uk.com Aquarium, 6 Steine Street Traditional backstreet boozer.

01273 605525 www.pleisure.com Barley Mow, 92 St George’s Road Mixed and friendly local in Kemp Town serving good food.

Nice outside terrace too.

01273 682259 Brighton Rocks, 6 Rock Place Fabulously stylish bar and restaurant with outside decking. 01273 601139 Bulldog, 31 St James’s Street Landmark gay pub for 25 years.

Entertainment, happy hours.

01273 694097 www.bulldogbrighton.com Charles Street, 8 Marine Parade Huge, swish café-bar serving food, has outside terrace, till 3am Fri/Sat. 01273 624091 www.charlesstreetbar.com Doctor Brighton’s 16–17 Kings Road Popular pub with huge vodka selection.

01273 328765 www.pleisure.com Fountain Inn High Street, Handcross Gay oasis in the countryside near Gatwick and very popular.

01444 400218 www.fountainpub.co.uk Jack Horner, 80 High Street, Worthing Worthing’s only gay pub. Some themed nights. 01903 236427

32 latest 7

Majority favour a gay president An opinion poll has found that 55 per cent of Americans would vote for a gay president. The poll, conducted by Gallup, aimed to reveal voting prejudices ahead of the 2008 election.

Legends Bar Dance and Hotel 31-34 Marine Parade Recently reopened after a multimillion pound refit.

different for Brighton’s drinkers.

01273 626442

Marine Tavern, 13 Broad Street Cosy, traditional and friendly boozer with real beer.

01273 681284 www.marinetavern.co.uk

Audio Hosts Sunday Sundae 10 Marine Parade Weekly chill out with occasional specials and drink promos.

01273 606906

Marlborough, 4 Princes Street Large pub popular with the girls, with a great theatre upstairs.

01273 570028 www.marlboroughtheatre.co.uk PV, 22 Upper North Street Great mixed pub with cool interior and regular live music.

01273 325491 www.thepv.co.uk Queen’s Arms, 7 George Street Opens 3pm every day with top cabaret and entertainment every night. 01273 696873 www.queensarmsbrighton.com R-Bar, 7 Marine Parade Open till 2am, Sun–Thu; 24 hours, Fri–Sun. 01273 608133 www.revenge.co.uk Revue Bar, 19 New Steine A stylish compact bar with a really friendly atmosphere.

01273 607456 Star Inn, 5–9 Manchester Street Menus every day, Sunday roasts. Live big screen sports.

01273 601450 www.starinnbrighton.com Vavoom, 31 Old Steine Video bar, right next door to Revenge. 01273 603010 www.vavoom.co.uk White Horse, 30 Camelford Street Friendly mixed local.

01273 603726 The Zone, 33 St James’s Street Bar promising something a bit

Clubs

Candy Bar, 129 St James’s Street UK’s only lesbian nightclub, till 3am, Fri/Sat. 01273 622424 www.thecandybar.co.uk Charles St Club, 8 Marine Parade Sleek club above Charles Street Bar, nightly promoters.

10pm–2am, 01273 624091 Harlequin, 43 Providence Place Bar/nightclub, cabaret/stripper, Fri/Sat nights. 9pm–4am, Fri/Sat. 01273 620630 www.harlequin-brighton.co.uk Monkey, Brighton Gloucester, 27 Gloucester Place Every Saturday night. www.wildfruit.co.uk 01273 688011 Revenge, 32 Old Steine Huge two-floor club. 10pm-3am, Sun–Thu till 5am Fri/Sat till 6am www.revenge.co.uk Therapy @ Rehab Waterfront, Brighton Marina A weekly gay night at Brighton Marina. Every Friday. A lovely stylish big bar!

V2, 5 Steine Street Open every night from 8pm till late. 01273 603010 Wildfruit, Creation, 78 West Street Usually once a month with themed nights. One for your calendar! www.wildfruit.co.uk

Sat 14 Apr Star Inn 11am–1am. Food noon–4pm. Proud to bear night, 8pm.

Sun 15 Apr Charles Street Club 10.30pm–3am. New! Sunday service from the fabulous Religion team. £4/£3 NUS.

Mon 16 Apr Marlborough 12pm–12am. Students’ social night from 6pm.

Games, pool and tunes.

3SIXTY is Brighton’s brightest monthly gay magazine with news, interviews, features and listings for the gay scene around Brighton and Hove.

April’s edition is out now. Pick up your free copy across the city.

You can also now download a full issue at www.3sixtymag.co.uk 3SIXTY T: 01273 570570 E: info@3sixtymag.co.uk

033_LS316_stage

4/4/07

9:40 AM

Page 1

STAGE

Play On!

By Rick Abbot Step backstage and discover the trials and tribulations that face every amateur dramatic company in the run-up to a show – prima donnas, a constantly changing script, missing props, wobbly scenery, forgotten lines and a director who “just can’t take any more!” but “it’ll be all right on the night” because “the show must go on”.

In the tradition of Noises Off find out exactly what the cast and crew of every local amateur dramatic company suffer to perfect their art.

With a cast of ten, Play On! reveals what really happens during rehearsals as the group head towards first night. This three-act play concludes with a disastrous opening night as our inept actors attempt to perform an awful murder mystery written and directed by an amateur playwright with an inflated opinion of his talent.

Director Des Young, who has his own youth company, Wings Productions, specialising in musicals, is a seasoned director and actor with several groups in the area including Adur Theatre Company, Hove Actual Theatre Company and Storrington Players. Here he directs the Southwick Players and is confident that the play will have you literally rolling in the aisles and queuing up to tread the boards.

Play On! is at The Barn Theatre, Southwick Community Centre, Southwick Street, Southwick on Wed 11–Sat 14 April, 7.45pm nightly with 2.30pm matinee on Saturday, £7.50–£8. Call 01273 597094

Cap’n Bob and the nun

Susan Hampshire plays Mother Teresa and Michael Pennington is Robert Maxwell in a wicked new comedy Much has been made of the poor quality of theatre that features soap stars. Some, it is true, is rather lame, but there have been some notable discoveries on the stage that disprove the theory. It should also be noted that many of the stage’s major talents actually first made their names in TV drama serials before we adopted the Americanism ‘soap’.

In this new play, The Bargain, Susan Hampshire leads a talented cast alongside Michael Pennington in a sharp, sophisticated comedy about an astonishing encounter between newspaper tycoon Robert Maxwell and Mother Teresa.

The play is set in a luxurious London apartment in 1988 where an extraordinary meeting apparently took place between these two people. Known as ‘Cap’n Bob’ and the ‘Bouncing Czech’, the outsized Robert Maxwell was a newspaper tycoon, football fan and big spender. By contrast, diminutive Mother Teresa of Calcutta was a living saint, comforter of the poor, missionary and nun, often referred to as ‘The Angel of Mercy’ and ‘Saint of the Gutter’.

However, when they met she and Maxwell found that they had much in common, leading to a remarkable bargain when he persuaded her to take part in a fund-raising scheme run by his newspaper group. Then, having got her to join him in some publicity photographs, it seems he made off with the money.

Susan Hampshire is one of Britain’s bestloved actresses, who has enjoyed recent success in the popular BBC1 TV series The Monarch Of The Glen. She gained international acclaim and Emmy Awards for The Forsyte Saga, The First Churchills and Vanity Fair. On stage her career has included the starring role in Alan Bennett’s The Lady In The Van. Michael Pennington is one of the leading stage actors of his generation, renowned for his classical roles and for co-founding the English Shakespeare Company. His recent West End credits have included The Guardsman, An Ideal Husband, Gross Indecency, Waste, Taking Sides and The Entertainer. He last visited Theatre Royal Brighton in The Best Of Friends.

A distinguished dramatist, Ian Curteis’ 38 television plays have included The Falklands Play, Philby, Burgess and Maclean, Churchill and the Generals and Miss Morrison’s Ghosts. He originated and/or wrote many popular drama series, including The Onedin Line, Hadleigh and Crown Court. His radio plays include Eroica, Love and After the Break. The Bargain represents his return to the theatre, where he started, after 23 years in broadcasting.

The Bargain is at Theatre Royal, New Road, Brighton on Mon 16–Sat 21 April, 7.45pm nightly with 2.30pm matinees Thu and Sat, £16–£26. Call 08700 606650 or see www.theambassadors.com/theatreroyal

September Tide Kate O’Mara stars in a new adaptation of the Daphne du Maurier classic With the whole of Brighton reading Rebecca it seems fitting that Worthing has its own du Maurier event. September Tide is a new adaptation of celebrated author Daphne du Maurier’s best-selling play. This new production by one of Britain’s most renowned and popular repertory companies, Ian Dickens Productions, promises to be a superbly crafted drama showing the author’s wonderful story-telling talent at its very best.

Set against the beautiful landscape of a Cornish estuary, we find Stella, a widow of considerable gifts and beauty, who regularly rejects proposals of marriage from her sturdy neighbour Robert Hanson. Cherry, Stella’s effervescent daughter, brings home her artist husband Evan for the first time and Stella is shocked by the Bohemian incompleteness of their marriage. She finds herself attracted to Evan and soon they become embroiled in a passionate affair.

Daphne du Maurier came from a creative and successful family and began

to write short stories in 1928, publishing her first novel three years later. Rave reviews and further books followed. Then came her most famous three novels, Jamaica Inn, Frenchman’s Creek and Rebecca, a stage adaptation of which has recently toured nationally.

September Tide, a subtle but radiant exploration of the responsibilities of love, features an all-star cast headed by British stage and screen icon Kate O’Mara (Joan Collins’ manipulative sister in Dynasty, and recently seen in Bad Girls), fresh from her critically acclaimed role in Agatha Christie’s The Hollow last October. Joining Kate is local actor David Griffin (Keeping Up Appearances), Kim Tiddy (The Bill’s Honey Harman) and Edward Baker-Duly (Emmerdale and Grange Hill).

September Tide is at Connaught Theatre, Union Place, Worthing, Tue 17–Sat 21 April, 7.30pm nightly with 2pm matinees Wed and Sat, from £12.50. Call 01903 206206 or see www.worthingtheatres.co.uk

latest 7 33

034_LS316_stagelistings

4/4/07

1:29 PM

Page 2

STAGE

THEATRE LISTINGS

From Tuesday 10 April to Monday 7 May 2007

comedy sees Dudley Moore and Peter Cook do what they do best – entertain an audience as pint-drinking pundits Pete and Dud. Ages 14+ •Thu 3–Sat 5 May, 7.45pm plus 2.30pm Sat, £15.50/£17.50/£19.50 eves, £13 mat

EASTBOURNE: ROYAL HIPPODROME BRIGHTON DOME 01273 709709 www.brightondome.org Musical In A Week: The Dreamer Music theatre for friends and family of the children who have taken part in this week-long workshop to create today’s performance.

•Sat 14 Apr, 3pm, £3 adults/£1 children Futurology: A Global Revue The English premiere – a darkly comic show of dance and cabaret, looking at global issues including climate change and low supplies of fossil fuels.

•Sat 5–Thu 10 May, 8pm, £15/£18 Run Lola Run Featuring live soundtrack from The Bays, this stage performance based on the BAFTA award nominated film tells the story about Lola who has to come up with 100,000 marks to save her boyfriend from his gangster nemesis.

•Sat 5 May, 8pm, £16

BRIGHTON LITTLE THEATRE 01273 777748 www.the-little.co.uk The Merchant Of Venice One of Shakespeare’s best-known plays – a comedy portraying the tormented character of Shylock who is also a tormenter, creating changing views for the watching audience. Book through the Brighton Festival at www.brightonfestivalfringe.org.uk •Sat 5–Sat 12 May, 7.45pm, £7.50/£8.50

on the apparent predictability of life in an office, starring Patricia Routledge.

•Thu 12 Apr–Thu 12 May. SOLD OUT The Last Confession The world premiere of this new thriller surrounding one of the most highly guarded institutions: The Vatican.

(Pre-show talk on 3 May) •Fri 27 Apr–Thu 19 May, please call for show times. £10–£32

EASTBOURNE: CONGRESS THEATRE 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Sweet Charity A tender and poignant tale of a girl who wears her heart on her sleeve. Classic New York Musical featuring the hit ‘Hey, Big Spender’. £1 of ticket sale to Cancer Research.

•Wed 11–Sat 14 Apr, 7.45pm plus 2.30 matinees Thu and Sat, £8.50/£10/£12/£14 (£10 all seats – matinees) The Goodies Still Rule OK! A laughter filled evening with clips, sketches and reminiscences of the legendary Goodies. With Tim BrookeTaylor and Graeme Garden live on stage.

•Sun 15 Apr, 7.30pm, £17.50/£19.50

THE CAPITOL, HORSHAM 01403 750220 www.thecapitolhorsham.com Reelin’ And A Rockin’ Hits to sing along to from the swingin’ sixties.

•Sat 14 Apr, please call for times and prices An Evening With... Julian Clary Leaving the make-up and sequins behind, Julian Clary reveals all in this intimate show, filled with Clary’s wit and charm that has captivated audiences for 20 years.

•Sun 15 April, 8pm, £20 Rainbow Live Children’s television favourites Bungle, Zippy and George are back in an all-new live show, with fun and frolics appealing to all ages.

•Thu 12 Apr, 2pm, £8 Girl’s Night Out Delve into a hen night and discover the saucy goings on and naughty modern views of a group of females.

•Tue 17–Sat 24 April, please call for times and prices Get Up And Go Children’s presenter Dave Benson Phillips joins Big Bear, singing songs together in this fantastic show based on the popular chidren’s video.

•Sunday 22 April, please call for times and prices Gormenghast Meet the grotesque characters and mysterious rituals at gothic Gormenghast castle. Unravel a web of secrets along this extraordinary tale of greed, madness and love.

•Tue 24–Wed 25 April, please call for times and prices Tosca A tense thriller based around art, love and politics. A political prisoner is hiding out in a church and opera singer Floria Tosca is intent on protecting her lover who has some involvement with the prisoner.

•Fri 27 Apr, please call for times and prices Swing And Sinatra A night of songs from the swing era, with familiar hits from the Rat Pack, Glenn Miller and Ella Fitzgerald.

•Sat 28 Apr, please call for times and prices Russian Cossock Dance Company Direct from Moscow, 50 dancers, musicians and singers present a dynamic production packed with energy performed to a live orchestra.

•Sun 6 May, please call for times and prices Two Kinds Of Magic A show of two halves: acclaimed concert of Queen hits and then the legendary songs of Electric Light Orchestra.

•Wed 9 May, please call for times and prices

CHICHESTER FESTIVAL THEATRE 01243 781312 www.cft.org.uk Office Suite A double bill from Alan Bennett 34 latest 7

Swan Lake On Ice Imperial Ice Stars perform to Tchaikovsky’s glorious music in this spectacular skating show.

•Tue 17–Sat 21 Apr, 7.30pm, plus Wed, Thu and Sat 2.30pm, £18/£20/£22.50/£25 Tue–Thu eve and Sat mat, £16/£18/£20/£22.50 Wed & Thu mat, £20/£22.50/£24.50/£26.50 Fri & Sat eves London Philharmonic Orchestra A stunning concert opening with Mozart’s tremulous overture to Don Giovanni followed by the rhapsodic Piano Concerto by Schumann.

•Sun 22 Apr, 3.00pm, £11/£18/£21/£23/£27.50 42nd Street Direct from Broadway, the hit 1980s musical comes to Eastbourne starring Paul Nicholas as Julian Marsh.

•Tue 1–Sat 5 May, 7.30pm plus 2.30pm Thu, Fri and Sat. £17.50/£21.50/£23.50/£25.50/ £27.50 Tue–Thu eve and mats. £20/£24/£26/£28/£30 Fri & Sat eves An Evening With Gervais Phinn One of the UK’s best-loved authors shares hilarious tales in this new show about life as a school inspector.

•Sun 6 May, 7.30pm, £14.50

EASTBOURNE: DEVONSHIRE PARK THEATRE 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Perfect Pitch Observational comedy about a couple who find the perfect place to pitch their caravan until the neighbours from hell turn up.

•Tue 10–Sat 14 Apr, 7.45pm plus Wed and Sat matinees 2.30pm, £13.50/£16/£18 Mon–Thu eves, £13.50/£17.50/£19.50 Fri and Sat eves, £13.50 Wed and Sat matinees Dead Funny Award-winning comedy about relationships and sex therapy. A wife struggles when her husband seems more interested in running the ‘Dead Funny Society’.

•Mon 16–Sat 21 Apr, 7.45pm plus Wed and Sat matinees 2.30pm, £13.50/£16/£18 Mon–Thu eves, £13.50/£17.50/£19.50 Fri and Sat eves, £13.50 Wed and Sat matinees The Woman In Black Based on Susan Hill’s novel – a lawyer believes there is a curse on him and his family. In an attempt to exorcise the fear, he delves into his darkest memories to a world of eerie marshes, and it’s not long before reality and make-believe blur.

•Mon 23–Sat 28 Apr, 7.45pm plus Wed and Sat matinees 2.30pm, £13.50/£16/£18 Mon–Thu eves, £13.50/£17.50/£19.50 Fri and Sat eves, £13.50 Wed and Sat matinees Pete And Dud Come Again The hit West End

01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Forever In Blue Jeans Ultimate feel-good show featuring hits from the 50s right through to hits from the brightest West End shows!

•Sun 6 May, 8pm, £14/£15

EASTBOURNE: WINTER GARDEN 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Rainbow Fish Fun show for children aged 3–7 with song, music and puppetry to create a funny underwater adventure for all the family.

•Mon 23 Apr, 1.30pm, £4.50, £2 baby tickets The Johnny Spice Swing Orchestra May Ball Eastbourne’s big band presents an Easter ball with a grand draw in aid of Macmillan Cancer Relief. Meals must be booked by 30/4 •Sat 5 May, 7.30pm–11.30pm, £10 for dancing and cabaret, £15.50 including meal

THE HAWTH, CRAWLEY 01293 553636 www.hawth.co.uk You Don’t Need To Know That Comic mayhem as a man wakes up to find a policeman at the end of his bed. Did he really commit a crime he can’t recall?

•Tue 17 Apr, 7.45pm, please call for prices The Lesson A charged political piece on how capitalism is following the same pattern as Nazi Fascism, in a country led by capitalist greed and consumer righteousness.

•Fri 20 Apr, please call for times and prices The Comedy Of Errors 07 A Community Arts Production. Please call for more details.

•Thu 26–Sat 28 Apr, please call for times and prices

KOMEDIA, BRIGHTON 01273 647100 www.komedia.co.uk The Little Mermaid Story-tellers Flotsam and Jetsam invite you under the sea to experience the adventures of the little mermaid who falls in love with a human prince and, desperate to meet him, casts a deal with the sea witch. Kids show (ages 4+) •Sun 22 Apr, please call for start time, £5/£6 Cowboy Cabaret Komedia is transformed into a Western saloon in this raunchy burlesque comedy complete with Western gun-slingers and live music.

•Sat 28 Apr, 7pm, £10/£15 The Elves And The Shoemaker Kids show using magical puppets to tell the story of Elvis Schumacher who creates beautiful footware but finds people are buying boring shoes from the evil businessman. Can anyone help Elvis? 3+ •Sun 29 Apr, 2pm, £5/£5 Mayday! The Musical Following the popular Improvability Drive, the Maydays return in a musical extravaganza completely improvised!

•Fri 4–Sat 5 May, 9pm, £7/£8. Tickets from www.ticketsource.co.uk

MARLBOROUGH THEATRE, BRIGHTON 07782 278521 www.marlboroughtheatre.co.uk Scratch Night Comedy, dance and spoken word where the audience is invited to give new artists feedback on their performance!

•Sun 15 Apr, 8pm, £5 Boutique Burlesque performance with twisted physical theatre and sensual striptease. Come dressed to impress!

•Sat 21 Apr, 8pm, £6/£8.

(Also Fri 4–Sun 6 May) When The Script Hits The Fan The Maydays turn audience suggestions into improvised sketches in this unique stage show.

•Sat 28 Apr, 8pm, £6 Shoe Baby Puppet Show Sing-along adventure about a baby who takes to the sea, the air and the zoo – all in a shoe! Ages 2–6 •Sat 5–Sun 6 May, 4pm and 5pm, £6 Bring Me Einstein/Robin Fry: Rock Historian Katy Schutte explores the funny side of Hitler’s least favourite genius and Robin Fry

gives us a speedy history of rock.

•Sat 5, Fri 11 and Sat 12 May, 10.30pm, £5/£6

NIGHTINGALE THEATRE, BRIGHTON 01273 702563 www.nightingaletheatre.co.uk Lunatics Intense and physical look at Jesus’ death and the formation of the Christian Church.

Explicit language, violence – ages 16+ only.

•Sat 5–Mon 7 May (post performance discussion on Sun 6) 8pm, £6.50/£8.50

THEATRE ROYAL, BRIGHTON 08700 606650 www.theambassadors.com/theatreroyal The New Statesman Hilarious political and sexual shenanigans in this all-new show starring comedy favourite Rik Mayall.

•Tue 10–Sat 14 April, 7.45pm, plus 2.30 matinee Thu and Sat. £16/£19/£23/£26 Tue–Thu eves and Sat mat, £16/£20 Thu mat, £17/£20/£24/£27 Fri and Sat eves The Bargain Black comedy about a man who makes a deal with Mother Teresa of Calcutta, only for his body to be found floating in the Atlantic three years later.

•Mon 16–Sat 21 April, 7.45pm, plus 2.30 matinee Thu and Sat. £16/£19/£23/£25 Mon–Thu eves and Sat mat, £16/£19 Thu mat, £17/£20/£24/£26 Fri and Sat eves Pam Am Join Pam Am – A-list air hostess to the stars (including Elton John) in this special one-night show.

•Sat 22 April, 7.30pm, £17.50 Kean Passionate and funny theatre based on Robert Kean, the greatest romantic actor of the 19th century.

•Tue 24–Sat 28 April, 7.45pm plus 2.30pm Thu and Sat, £16/£19/£23/£26 Tue–Thu eve and Sat mat, £16/£20 Thu mat, £17/£20/£24/£27 Fri and Sat eves.

Charley’s Aunt Stephen Tomkinson stars in this comedy about mistaken identity, cross dressing, deranged uncles and ravishing young ladies in Edwardian Oxford.

•Mon 30 Apr–Sat 5 May, 7.45pm plus 2.30pm Thu and Sat, £16/£19/£23/£25 (Mon–Thu eves/Sat mat) £16/£19 Sat mat, £17/£20/£24/£26

WORTHING: CONNAUGHT THEATRE 01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk Blood Brothers – The International Triumph The hit West End musical telling the story of twin boys separated at birth who are then reunited by fate and a dark secret.

•Tue 10–Sat 14 Apr, 7.30pm, 2pm Wed and Sat, £26.50/£28, Mon–Thu eve and Sat mat, £28/£29.50 Fri–Sat eve, £22.50/£24.50 Wed mat September Tide Daphne du Maurier’s bestselling story of passion and romance, as a widowed woman finds herself falling for her daughter’s new husband.

•Tue 17–Sat 21 Apr, 7.30pm, 2pm Wed and Sat, please call for prices.

The Lesson Presented by the Icarus Collective.

Exploring the tutor/pupil relationship. When the pupil displeases the tutor we begin to see a different side in this light, classroom farce and chilling drama. (Note: Contains scenes of a violent nature) •Mon 23 Apr, 7.30pm, £12.50 Coppelia English Youth Ballet present the story of Dr Coppelius whose greatest desire is to bring his beloved doll to life.

•Thu 26–Sat 28 Apr, 7.30pm, £14/£16

WORTHING: PAVILION THEATRE 01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk The Spirit Of Broadway – A Star-Spangled Celebration High energy show with lavish costumes and hit songs from the likes of Grease, Chicago and Cats.

•Tue 17 Apr, 8pm, £15/£17/£19 We’ll Meet Again Relive the spirit of the 1940s in this show paying tribute to Vera Lynn, Bing Crosby and more.

•Wed 18 Apr, 2pm, £10 Calamity Jane New Southern Musical Productions present the story of Jane – who travels to the windy city, transforming herself from a boyish gun-slingin’ gal into a proper lady.

•Wed 25–Sat 28 Apr, 7.45pm plus 2.45pm Sat, £9–£12

If you would like your event listed please email listings@thelatest.co.uk

035_LS316_kids/events

4/4/07

1:28 PM

Page 3

KIDS

EVENTS

THIS WEEK’S PREVIEWS

All aboard Thomas and friends have taken up residence at family zoo Drusillas Park, discovers Zara Friend The much-loved Thomas the Tank Engine will be stationed at awardwinning Drusillas Park this month, and plans to stay put all year round as a new steam engine ride for youngsters to enjoy. A brand new attraction at the popular East Sussex zoo, fans of Thomas can meet their favourite train along with the Fat Controller and other attractions from the Island of Sodor.

The Thomas attraction takes children on a magical journey from Tidmouth Hault, passing through beautiful landscaped gardens and places in Sodor, such as the engine shed where James is resting and the dockyard with Cranky gazing down from above. As the first UK location to have a bespoke Thomas and Friends attraction, this new ride will attract families from far and wide, throughout the summer months and beyond.

Attracting over 350,000 visitors a year, Drusillas offers a fun learning experience for children, with over 130 animal species in naturalistic environments providing plenty of animal magic to enchant and excite everyone.

As well as the zoo there is Playland, an adventure playground packed with slides and swings, ropes and play equipment, all set out for different age groups. If that isn’t enough to keep the kids occupied over the holidays, there is also Panning for Gold, the Zoolympics Challenges, Jungle Adventure Golf, the Wacky Workshop, a Discovery Centre, Monkey Kingdom and the state-of-the-art all-weather attraction, Amazon Adventure.

Complete your day out with a visit to one of the gift shops, where Thomas fans can take home a range of merchandise, including books and toys.

Located just off the A27 at Alfriston, Drusillas Park is open from 10am–5pm (6pm in summer). Family tickets start from £19.40 and advance booking is only required for group visitors. For more information call 01323 874100 or see www.drusillaspark.co.uk Thomas and Friends can be seen on Five’s Milkshake! and Nick Jr daily. For more information see www.thomasandfriends.com

Easter Rabbit Trail Spend the Easter holidays with the children up at historic Newhaven Fort and take part in their special Easter Rabbit Trail event taking place this week.

Pick up a free quiz sheet and hunt for some famous rabbits who will hold the answers to the clues you seek. When all the rabbits and their answers have been found, hand in the completed sheet to enter the Newhaven Fort Easter Prize Draw, set to take place at the end of the holiday.

This is a fun Easter outing for all ages with a chance to learn a little history, explore the fort and enjoy the breathtaking sea and downland views, which go unrivalled in this historic setting.

Newhaven Fort, Newhaven, East Sussex. Follow the signs from the one-way system to Fort Road. The Easter Rabbit Trail takes place from now until Fri 13 April, 10.30am–6pm (last entry 5pm). For more information call 01273 517622 or see www.newhavenfort.org.uk

Rockinghorse Race Series 2007

Attraction licensed by © 2007 Gullane (Thomas) Limited.

An HIT Entertainment Company

After successful fundraisers in 2006, Brighton-based children’s charity Rockinghorse is back with ‘six in the park’ – six fun runs planned for 2007. You can take part in one or all of them, with the first 5km race this Thursday, 12 April.

The 2006 series of races was the most successful year to date for the charity, with over 100 runners taking part in each event. This year the local charity aims to top this, and raise even more money to provide medical equipment for children in hospital.

The six fun runs planned for 2007 take place at Hove Park, with a separate 5km race for under 13s. These runs are a great way of supporting Rockinghorse and it’s fun to take part.

Held each month from now on, the final race will take place in September with an extra 3km added to the usual 5km race.

Rockinghorse Race Series 2007 starts Thu 12 April, Hove Park, 6.30pm, £5 to take part or £6 if you register on the day (under 13s £2) For more details call 0845 222 2298 or see www.rockinghorse.org.uk

UPCOMING HIGHLIGHTS To feature in kids email editorial@thelatest.co.uk

To advertise here to over 100,000 people Call Kate on

01273 818150 and find out how effective and inexpensive it is to promote your business

If you would like your event listed please email listings@thelatest.co.uk

Greenspeak – Fuelling a Food Crisis The monthly talk and debate on different ethical issues returns next Tuesday 17 April, looking at the impact of ‘peak oil’ on food security.

Petroleum has become the lifeblood of industrialised and developing countries but our days of easy access to cheap oil will soon be over, meaning we will have to find alternatives. So why not think about the future and take action now?

Greenspeak will look at the industrialisation of farming, fertilisers, food imports and more, as oil becomes scarce. Guest speakers for this special event include Dr Caroline Lucas MEP, Green Party Member of the European Parliament. In a recent report called ‘Fuelling a Food Crisis’, Caroline examines the dependence of existing food and agriculture policy on cheap oil. There is an urgent need to re-localise our food systems and refocus development policies.

The evening event will be chaired by Paul Steedman from The Food Ethics Council and Green Party Council candidate for Queens Park Ward, Brighton.

Greenspeak: Fuelling a Food Crisis, Tue 17 April at Terraces Bar and Grill, Marine Parade (above the Sealife Centre), Brighton, 7.15–9pm, donation.

See www.greenspeak-brighton.org.uk Zara Friend latest 7 35

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ART

See more at latest-art.co.uk

D*Face: Kant Complain

HOVE MUSEUM AND ART GALLERY

OPEN STUDIOS

New Church Road, Hove 01273 290200 Jacqueline Yu-Fan Li Delicate ceramics inspired by a sense of space. Until 15 April Paper Cuts Eight artists employ paper cutting techniques to reflect on our culture and environment. Paper cutting has been used by many different cultures throughout history to mark important events and religious occasions, and the delicate nature of paper relates to our vulnerability, dreams and ambitions. Until 1 July, Wed-Sat 11.30am-5pm, Sun 2-5pm

Brighton Beach, 168 Kings Road Arches 01273 725013 Five Days Colourful abstracts by Sophie Abbott and expressive portraits by Patrick Bremer. Until 10 April, 12-5pm every day

NORTH LAINE PHOTOGRAPHY GALLERY Upstairs, Snooper’s Paradise, Kensington Gardens, Brighton 01273 686506 Miss Aniela The world’s largest portal for exchanging every kind of photography online is ‘flickr’. Miss Aniela is a local photographer registering over a million hits in the last six months. Her site embodies the empowerment of self portrayal, combining stunning imagery with the intimacy of ordinary snapshots of her life.

This is her first exhibition. Until 30 April, MonSat 10.15am-5.45pm, Sun 10.15am-3.45pm

Defaced image

BRIGHTON MUSEUM AND ART GALLERY Church Street, Brighton 01273 290200 Rogues Gallery: Images of Crime and Punishment Display of popular prints featuring notorious crimes and punishments, mainly from the 18th and 19th centuries including enemies of the state and real-life murderers Until 30 Sept, Tues 10am-7pm, Wed-Sat 10am-5pm, Sun 2-5pm

CHALK GALLERY North Street, Lewes 01273 474477 21 professional artists from across all media.

Featured artist is Kate Penoyre with her innovative and abstract Sussex landscapes.

Mon-Sun 10am-5pm

CRANE KALMAN, BRIGHTON Kensington Gardens, Brighton 01273 697096 Scenes of Sussex: Where The Hills Meet The Sea Featuring six superb photographers including Fay Godwin, Tim Hall, John Holloway, Linda McCartney, Steve Pyke and Bruce Rae. Until 1 May, Mon-Sat 10am6pm, Sun 10.30am-4.30pm Bruce Ingram: Hanging Basket (2006) – Paper Cuts, Hove Museum and Art Gallery

ART AT FIVE 5 Bartholomew’s, Brighton 01273 774222 Showcase of original artwork from emerging, creative talent, as well as more established artists. Mon-Sat 10am-6pm, Sun 11am-5pm

DE LA WARR PAVILION Marina, Bexhill on Sea 01424 229111 A Secret Service: Art, Compulsion, Concealment Exploring the work of 16 artists whose pieces centre on the creation of secret worlds or the exposure of hidden facts and images. Until 15 April, Mon-Sun 10am-6pm

GRANGE GALLERY ARTHOUSE Western Road, Hove 01273 770083 Christina Sanders Retrospective exhibition of photographs on the theme of memories. Until 30 April, Mon-Fri 4pm-late, Sat & Sun 2pm-late 36 latest 7

Waterloo Place, Brighton 01273 603700 Taking Off! Rocket Artists Group New work by this group consisting of eight artists with learning disabilities who have been working in collaboration with University Of Brighton students. Until 21 April, Tue-Sat 11am-5pm

ROYAL PAVILION Royal Pavilion Gardens, Brighton 01273 290900 Stig Evans Artist in residence at the Pavilion, he’s been working with the Pavilion’s conservation department, looking into the history of the building’s painted decorative schemes. A series of his works inspired by the project are being exhibited. Until 26 Apr, MonSun 9.45am-5.45pm (hours until end September)

UNIVERSITY OF BRIGHTON GALLERY

Just three months after the revolutionary 11 Spring Street episode in New York firmly established urban art as a worldwide phenomenon, D*Face brings one of the most iconic images from that event together with a host of new subverted icons and his next sculpture stunt for a show at O Contemporary.

Working in a variety of media and techniques, D*Face uses a family of dysfunctional characters to satirise and hold ransom all that falls into his grasp – a welcome dose of subversion in today’s media-saturated environment.

D*Face aims to encourage the public to not just see, but to look at what surrounds them and their lives, reflecting our increasingly bizarre popular culture, and rethinking and reworking cultural figures and genres to comment on today’s ethos of conspicuous consumption.

His work has featured in countless publications, including the cover of Art Review, as well as being one of only 50 artists commissioned to create a 50th anniversary Penguin book cover. His work can also be seen on the album cover of indie rock sensations The Automatic.

D*Face: Eyecons at O Contemporary, Trafalgar Street, Brighton, until 6 May

ART LISTINGS

PHOENIX GALLERY

The Grange, The Green, Rottingdean 01273 301004 Threads Textile Arts: Identity An exhibition of textile art. 12-30 April, Mon-Sat 10am4pm, Sun 2-4pm

Grand Parade, Brighton 01273 643101 Drawing Upon Drawing: 50 Years of Illustrating by John Vernon Lord Major retrospective of this illustrator whose work graces books, magazines and advertising media. Until 5 May, Mon-Sat 10am-5pm

WORTHING MUSEUM AND ART GALLERY O CONTEMPORARY Trafalgar Street, Brighton 01273 698500 D*face: Eyecons The notorious urban artist was part of the revolutionary 11 Spring Street event in New York that attracted a lot of attention. He’ll be exhibiting one of the iconic images from that event along with new subverted icons. Until 6 May, Tue-Fri 10am5.30pm, Sat 10am-6pm, Sun 12am-5pm

Chapel Road, Worthing 01903 221448 Luke Dickinson Sensual stone carvings.

Until 23 Jun Tues-Sat, 10am-5pm Water, Water Everywhere 40 treasures from the museum’s stores that explore watery themes. Until 16 Jun, Tues-Sat 10am-5pm

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LISTINGS

YOUR COMPLETE LISTINGS GUIDE STARTS HERE

latestlistings The hottest tickets for the week ahead 10–16 April player and has been twice nominated for the Mercury Music Prize. Her band includes members of Bellowhead, plus John Spiers, Jon Boden and Ben Ivitsky.

Pavilion, Hailsham, Saturday 14 April, 7.30pm, £18.50

★THEATRE★

The Goodies Still Rule OK!

Sugababes

★SPOKEN WORD★

★MUSIC★

Bringing together comedy, spoken word and music, this is a packed night of entertainment for all.

Joogleberry Playhouse, Brighton, Tuesday 10 April, 7.30pm, £4/£3

Sugar and spice and all things nice… That’s what the Sugababes are made of. They’ll do their funky pop thang, while the much hyped hard electro dance band Dragonette are set to give the night some added sleaze.

Brighton Centre, Thursday 12 April, 6.30pm, £23.50

Raw

★MUSIC★ Dub Pistols

Genre-defying beats with Barry Ashworth and Jason O’Byrne, who have just released their new album Speakers And Tweeters via Rob Da Bank’s Sunday Best label.

It features Rodney P, Blade and Terry Hall on guest vocals.

Komedia, Brighton, Wednesday 11 April, £10/£8, 9pm

Tim Brooke-Taylor and Graeme Garden remember their days in the legendary Goodies. Featuring reminiscences, ridiculousness, clips, bits of sketches, Goodies ’filthy bits‘ banned by Australian television, the union jack waistcoat and Bill Oddie by satellite link.

Congress Theatre, Eastbourne, Sunday 15 April, 7.30pm, £19.50/£17.50

Sugababes

★MUSIC★

Eliza Carthy And The Ratcatchers From the famous Waterson/Carthy folk family, Eliza has carved a successful career as an inventive and innovative singer and fiddle

Reginald D Hunter

★MUSIC★ Midlake

Texan mid-tempo rockers with an accessible sound that has seen them become very popular in the UK. Organic, folky influences with a sound not unlike late 70s/early 80s Fleetwood Mac. Last year’s album The Trials Of Van Occupanther was consistently in the ‘Best Of 2006’ lists.

Concorde 2, Brighton, Thursday 12 April, 7pm, £10

★STAND-UP★

Reginald D Hunter – Pride And Prejudice And Niggas

Eliza Carthy

The intelligent, challenging and very funny American tackles issues of racism and society in his own inimitable style. A very funny man, not to be missed.

Komedia, Brighton, Sunday 15 April, 7.30pm, £12/£10 For venue details see page 45 latest 7 37

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Need a music video making or a gig filmed?

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Under review Recent shows with a sprinkling of home-grown talent Terry Garoghan’s Brighton The Musical Terry took to the stage and for almost three hours had the Dome at his fingertips. The show, a sequence of medleys with a few full songs, takes the Michael out of the city. It could easily be rubbish, but the arrangements are stunning and Garoghan has a great voice, brilliant patter and real star-quality. He looks like he could charm the pants off anyone and this he tries to do.

Brighton Dome, 24 March ✌✌✌✌ Andrew Kay

Club Boothby Boothby Graffoe is familiar to Radio 4 listeners, with his laidback sideways glances at life and bizarre, catchy songs. This regular night has a format of music and comedy, with a few guests thrown in. Tonight, Omid Djalili – he of The Mummy – made an appearance. Being a controversial Iranian comic, he opened with: “This is how it works – you laugh and we release the soldiers,” not only mentioning the ‘elephant in the room’, but verbally dancing for it. Right on the edge, and skipping from one side of ‘the line’ to the other with incredible dexterity, this was what comedy’s all about – versatility and ‘poking the bear’.

Komedia, 24 March ✌✌✌✌ Victoria Nangle

The Dirty Cakes + Your Orange Coat + Peepholes What’s the longevity of your average lo-fi art rock band?

Not long, but then who cares?

Tonight’s benefit at the delightfully anachronistic West Hill Hall was high on energy, if low on musicianship. Openers Peepholes had the former in bucketloads, the only concern being: was singer Katia going to make it to the end without having a seizure? Next up was Your Orange Coat – punky folk type Elv playing everything from guitar to melodica: a one-man-band for the noughties. The Dirty Cakes and their raucous frontman Stuart Flynn added pre-war Berlin cabaret to the evening, while Ill Ease rounded the evening off, with their drummer Elizabeth Sharp doing the best impression of the legendary Cozy Powell – or Animal the Muppet, depending on your frame of reference – I’ve ever seen.

West Hill Hall, March 24. ✌✌✌ Jan Goodey

Clapped Out Comedy Club Popular haunt, the Joogleberry Playhouse played host to a boldly diverse line-up of comedic standup talent, in the shape and stance of Howard Read, Stuart Black, Arnab Chanda and newcomer Roisin Le Bourhis forming the Clapped Out Comedy Club.

Ringing in my head after the show were the notions of being flown to Terry Garoghan

Howard Read

Sweden by bats and being offered Lucozade that states an odd anti-cure for diarrhoea, to mention only a few of the wacky topics of comic discussion – all beautifully held together by lovable Welsh compere Lloyd Langford. A hecklefriendly hoot throughout.

Joogleberry Playhouse, 29 March ✌✌✌✌ Mark David

The Fall From the stonking opening riffs of ‘Senior Twilight Stock Replacer’, to the encore – a stunning version of ‘Reformation’ – this audience of hardcore fans experienced a classic Fall gig, aka Fall Gruppe v2006. Mark E Smith was on fine, crowd-pleasing form, and his voice was well up in the mix over a solid back line, overcoming the dire feedback and almost-exploding bass amp. No frills, no patter, all rock’n’roll. Exceptional.

The Old Market, 29 March ✌✌✌✌✌ Candy McNamara

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tuesday 10

THIS ADVERT for just

£20 a week

Call Kate

818150

The New Statesman, Theatre Royal Brighton, 7.45pm

Live music Crippled Black Phoenix Featuring Members of Mogwai, Electric Wizard, Pantheist and Gonga, and put through the mixer by Portishead’s Geoff Barlow. Not unexpectedly, the resulting noise is dark, brooding and slowburning. Engine Room, time tbc, £6 Death Sentence: Panda! + The Cruiser Chimps + Chechnya Blast San Fran noise delinquents with a cartoonish sense of drama and a strange line-up that features just a pitchshifted clarinet, flute and drum kit. Musically they are weird: traditional Chinese and Korean folk, ragtime, and hardcore punk are just some of the styles thrown into the veritable mixer.

The Bureau of Silly names would have something to say about this gig.Hope, 8pm, £6/£5 Diego Parada Gypsy jazz. Arthouse, 8.30pm, free Emiko + Lana McDee + Matt English Cella, 7.30pm, £5 Open mic Brunswick, 8pm, free

Bars and clubs Above Audio Late bar, until 1am Ancient Mariner Late bar, until 1am Arc Expelled: student mash-up.

10.30pm–3.30am, £2/1 Audio Snide: indie old and new. 10-2am, £2 Belushi’s Elements: Drum and bass, drink promos. 8pm–2am, £1 Caroline Of Brunswick Quiz with a difference: plasticine and drawing rounds.

8.30pm, £1 Casablanca Tequila Tuesday 10.30pm-late, free Cosmopolitan Bar Open house – hang out at your new favourite local The Fiddler’s Elbow Late bar, until 2am The Fishbowl Late bar, until 2am The Globe Late bar, until 2am Jazz Place Roots garden reggae and roots. 102am, £3.50/2.50 check with venue before travelling. ➧ Please See our venue directory for details

The Joogleberry Late bar 11am–1pm Koba Late bar, until 5am Hare & Hounds Free pool Pop Po Na Na. R’n’B action. 10.30-3am, £5 Providence Curry and pint night with drink promos and table football. From 6pm Suga Qube Industry night – bar workers/door staff’s night off. Free The Zap Funkylicious Funky house anthems.

10-3am, free

Gay Amsterdam 11am–11pm. Food served up to 8pm. Sauna 3pm–4am Aquarium 12pm–11pm Brighton Oasis Sauna. 12pm–12am Bright ’n’ beautiful Sauna. 12pm–10pm Bulldog 11am–2am Candy Bar Twisted karaoke night. 9pm–2am Charles Street Bar 12pm–11pm Legends Bar 11am–5am Legends Dance Toxic. 11pm–4am, free Marine Tavern Nat’s quiz night, 9pm.

12pm–12am Marlborough Ladies’ night.12pm–12am Queen’s Arms Food, wi-fi access, and happy hour til 7pm. Spice up your life! The fabulous Spice hosts her own karaoke show from 9pm.

2.30–11.30pm The PV. 5-7pm deals on selected drinks.

12pm–12am R-Bar Student night. 12pm-2am. Sussex beacon fundraiser! Student night. Lady James on stage at 9.30pm, selected drinks £2 all night.

5-9pm happy hour.

Revenge Student night. Drinks from £1.50.

NUS free all night/others free before 11 then £3, 10.30pm–3am Star Inn Food 12–3pm and 6–9pm.

11am–12am Vavoom Happy hour till 6pm. Open till 4am V2 club Music videos upstairs and karaoke downstairs until 12am. 10pm–late The Zone 1pm–12am

Theatre Blood Brothers The hit West End musical telling the story of twin boys separated at birth who are then reunited by fate and a dark secret.

Worthing Connaught Theatre, 7.30pm, £26.50/£28 The New Statesman Hilarious political and sexual shenanigans in this all-new show starring comedy favourite Rik Mayall. Theatre Royal Brighton, 7.45pm, £16/£19/£23/£26 Perfect Pitch Observational comedy about a couple who find the perfect place to pitch their caravan until the neighbours from hell turn up.

Eastbourne Devonshire Park, 7.45pm, £13.50/£16/£18

Comedy Raw Bringing together comedy with spoken word and music this is a packed night of entertainment for all. Joogleberry Playhouse, 7.30pm, £4/3

Family and friends Easter Rabbit Trail Pick up a free quiz sheet this week and hunt for famous rabbits that hold the answers to the clues. Once all the rabbits and their answers are found, you can enter the Newhaven Fort Easter Prize Draw (to take place at the end of the holiday). Newhaven Fort, 01273 517622, 10.30am –6pm (last entry 5pm) Greyhound racing Enjoy the races with friends – place a bet or watch the action with a meal in the Skyline Restaurant. Brighton and Hove Greyhound Stadium, 01273 204601. Evening race – please call to confirm details.

Live Reptiles Handle live snakes and lizards, and discover interesting facts about them and their natural habitat. Suitable for children over 5 (under 5s welcome if accompanying older siblings). Children must be accompanied by an adult. Booth Museum, 10.30–11.30am, 12–1pm, 1.30–2.30pm, 3–4pm, £5

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wednesday 11 Theatre

COMING SOON 1st FLOOR COCKTAIL BAR

BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE FREEMASONS Play On!, The Barn Theatre, 7.30pm

38-39 WESTERN RD, HOVE

Email us for invites to our launch party info@thefreemasonstavern.com

OSTRAKA MOSAICS BESPOKE TILE DESIGN

BY AN ORIGINAL MOSAIC ARTIST Contact: EDI MANDALA Tel. 01273 623469 / Mob. 07790 920 614 Web. www.OstrakaMosaics.com Email. E.mandala@btinternet.com

Live music Circle Of Friends Acoustic night with local singer/songwriters. Cosmopolitan Bar, 8.30pm, free Civilian + Mama Hoochie Bang + Civilian + Gunnbunny + Spit Like This White Noise rock night. Pressure Point, 8pm, £4/3 Come All Ye Open stage folk night at The Famous Willows Folk Club. Arundel Football Club, Arundel, 8pm, £2 Dub Pistols Genre-defying beats music with Barry Ashworth and Jason O’Byrne. Their new album Speakers and Tweeters features Rodney P. Blade and Terry Hall on guest vocals.

Komedia, 9pm, £10/8 Falling Victim + Below The City Local indie bands. Pav Tav, 8pm, free The Great Indoors + Nikolas Barrell and The GinClub Cella, 7.30pm, £5/4 Herman Dune Brittle lo-fi hymns of melancholy from this Swedish/French cult folk rock trio. Old Ship Hotel, 7.30pm, £10.50 The Horrors + Neils Children + The Guillotines Big hair, monochrome clothes, tons of make-up, Addams Family riffs, gothic ramblings. Yes, very popular indeed. Cartoonish, thuggish and rather creepy. Concorde 2, 8pm, £8.50 The Legendary Bee’s Mouth Open Mic Arthouse, 8.30pm, free Open mic London Unity, 9pm, free The Strange Death Of Liberal England Noisy, chaotic but joyful racket from this Portsmouth band, who have been compared to many Canadian bands such as Arcade Fire, Broken Social Scene and Godspeed. Hope, 8pm, £5/£4 Three Plus One Local jazz quartet with Sara Oschlag. Brunswick, 8pm, £3 Wednesday Night Originals Weekly showcase of local bands. Portland, 7.30pm, £3

The Joogleberry Late bar 11am–1pm The Juggler Bar Quiz night – general and themed rounds. Prizes available. 8.30pm Koba Late bar, until 5am Suga Qube Live and direct. A showcase of Brighton talent. 9pm–2am, free Volks Drum and Bass. Upfront jungle. 10-3am £tbc The Zap Poptastic classics. 10-2am, £3/£2

Gay Amsterdam Food served up to 8pm. 11am–11pm Aquarium 12–11pm Brighton Oasis Sauna. Noon–12am Bright ’n’ Beautiful 12pm–10pm Charles Street Bar 12pm–11pm Marine Tavern 12pm–12am Marlborough Quiz at 8.30pm. Prizes for winners. 12pm–12am Queen’s Arms Food, wi-fi access and happy hour till 7pm. Back to school! Cabaret with cookie at 9.30pm R-Bar Go Double Baby. From 9pm, any double just £1 extra. 12pm–2am Revenge Strut your stuff at 1970s heaven. £2 before 11pm, £3 after. Free entry if dressed to theme. Selected drinks just £1.50.

10.30pm–3am Star Inn Food 12–3pm and 6–9pm.

12pm–12am Vavoom Happy hour ’til 6pm. Your choice videos. Open ’til 4am V2 Club Music videos upstairs and karaoke downstairs until 12am. 10pm–late

Blood Brothers The hit West End musical telling the story of twin boys separated at birth who are then reunited by fate and a dark secret.

Worthing Connaught Theatre, 2pm and 7.30pm, £26.50/£28, £22.50/£24.50 mat The New Statesman Hilarious political and sexual shenanigans in this all-new show starring comedy favourite Rik Mayall.

Theatre Royal, 7.45pm, £16/£19/£23/£26 Perfect Pitch Observational comedy about a couple who find the perfect place to pitch their caravan until the neighbours from hell turn up.

Eastbourne Devonshire Park, 2.30pm and 7.45pm, £13.50/£16/£18, £13.50 matinee Play On! The Southwick Players present Rick Abbot’s hilarious comedy, letting the audience step backstage to discover the trials and tribulations a company faces in the run up to putting on a great show – prima donnas, a constantly changing script, missing props, wobbly scenery and forgotten lines are just the beginning of their problems. The Barn Theatre, Southwick Street, Southwick, Box Office: 01273 597094, 7.30pm, £7.50/£8

Family and friends Easter Rabbit Trail Pick up a free quiz sheet this week and hunt for famous rabbits that hold the answers to the clues. But you may have to search hard. Once all the rabbits and their answers are found, you can enter the Newhaven Fort Easter Prize Draw (to take place at the end of the holiday). Newhaven Fort, 01273 517622, 10.30am –6pm (last entry 5pm) Family Art Day Be inspired by the museum artefacts and have fun with paint and clay without having to clean it all up afterwards. All ages. A fun family outing.

Hove Museum, 10.30am–12.30pm, 2–4pm, £5 Greyhound racing Enjoy the races with friends – place a bet or watch the action with a meal in the Skyline Restaurant. Brighton and Hove Greyhound Stadium. 01273 204601. Evening race – please call to confirm details.

My Voyage A life writing workshop wth Bridget Whelan. Learn how to craft a story from your real life experiences. Suitable for all levels of writing experience. Book with Ella on 01273 571700. The South at Fabrica, 40 Duke Street, Brighton, 7–9pm, £9/£10 Short Fuse Enjoy a night of stories with the third meet of this monthly literary club that sets to promote the short story form and local and national writing talent. Plus eclectic sounds from DJ Oddsocks. Call Polly for further info on 01273 264816. The Regent Bar, downstairs at Komedia, 8.30pm, £3

Dub Pistols, Komedia, 9.00pm

Bars and clubs Above Audio Late bar, until 1am Ancient Mariner Late bar, until 1am Arc Don’t Tell Ya Mum and Dad. Proper dance tunes. 10-2am £3 Audio Supercharged. Breaks and beats from Hybrid. 10-2am £4/£2 The Beach:. Born in the Eighties. Eighties tunes. 10-late £3/80p Casablanca Fun ki Disco. Funky sounds. 10late, £2/£1/free Engine Rooms Rock and indie. 12-2am free The Fiddler’s Elbow Late bar, until 2am The Fishbowl Late bar, until 2am Funky Buddha Lounge. Indie rock stylings.

10.30-3 £2 The Globe Late bar, until 2am Gloucester The Pit. Rock and metal. 10-2 £3/£2 Honey Club Eclectic mix for students and their friends. £5/£2 10-2am

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check with venue before travelling. ➧ Please See our venue directory for details

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thursday 12 Live music Are You Taking The Mic? Original performers only, no covers for this open mic night. Register by emailing andersdmoney@yahoo.co.uk.

Providence, 8pm, free Charlie & The Ketamen + Turncoat + Hour Hands Local band Cable Club night. Pressure Point, 8pm, £4/3 Cutting Crew Grammy-nominated, multi-million sellers, expect to hear classics such as ‘Died In Your Arms Tonight’ (which made number 1 in US!) and ‘I’ve Been In Love’, alongside tracks from recent album Grinning Souls. Led by Mick Van Eede, the band re-formed last year after a break of 13 years. Komedia, 7.30pm, £15/£12 Diago Parada Trio + The Hot Club of Belleville Gypsy jazz and swing from the amazing Diago Parada Trio and resident band Hot Club of Belleville. Plus DJ Mike the Mic at this Club Chat Noir night. Sussex Arts Club, 8pm, £8/£6 Fall To Fiction + The Grams + The Weedkillers Pav Tav, 8pm, free Heavy Trash Low-key warm-up for Jon Spencer’s (of the Blues Explosion) new project before they hit the road in earnest. This is rock’n’roll with rockabilly blood coursing through its veins. Titanic stuff, they’ve just come off a Sadies tour. Engine Room, 7.30pm, £10/£9 Martin Carthy One of Britain’s foremost interpreters of folk song, and member of the famous Carthy Waterson family. Despite being a relatively big name, he still likes to ply his trade in smaller, more purist folk clubs the length and breadth of the country. Lewes Folk Club open mic night. Royal Oak, Lewes, 8pm, £6 Midlake Texas mid-tempo rockers with an accessible sound that has seen them become very popular here in the UK. Organic, folky influences with a sound not unlike late 70s/early 80s Fleetwood Mac. Concorde 2, 7pm, SOLD OUT Nikolas Barrell and The GinClub + Faces For Radio + Emily Baker + Dan Clarke Acoustic set from this superb four-piece who have just released their debut eponymouslynamed album for the fledgling local Folklaw label. Red Roaster, 8pm, £6/£5 Smokestack Smokin’ blues fusion. Arthouse, 8.30pm, free The Solid Silver 60s Show Now in its 22nd year, this show features members of The Searchers, The Merseybeats, Walker Brothers, etc. Assembly Hall, Worthing, 7.30pm, £21/£19 Sugababes + Dragonette The one and only Sugababes do their funky pop thang while the much-hyped hard electro dance Dragonette give the night some added sleaze.

Brighton Centre, 6.30pm, £23.50 Terry Callier, Komedia, 8.30pm

Terry Callier A childhood friend of Curtis Mayfield, Callier began a recording career in 1963, but retired 20 years later, deciding that a career in computer programming was far more profitable! However, Eddie Pillar of Acid Jazz tempted him out of retirement in ‘91 and his often beautiful soul and jazz music has remained consistently in demand ever since.

Komedia, 8.30pm, £19.50 Toby Slater + Brydie Rowan + Lee Westwood Singer/songwriter evening hosted

by Toby Slater, with the jazz-folk sounds of check with venue before travelling. ➧ Please See our venue directory for details

Brydie Rowan and the exceptional instrumentalist, Lee Westwood, who uses unusual tunings and intricate picking styles.

Cella, 7.30pm, £tbc

Bars and clubs Above Audio Late bar, until 1am Ancient Mariner Late bar, until 1am Audi Dynamite Boogaloo. Legendary pop/kitsch night. £4/£3 10-2am Bar Bamboogy Live DJs. 8pm–2am, free Belushi’s Rock bar, £1.50 vodka/mix and selected pints £2. 8pm–2am, free Brighton Gloucester. Indie.

10-2am £3/£1.50 Casablanca Sambanation. Sunny Brazilian flavours. 9.30-2am £2/£1 Cosmopolitan Bar Spinner stays on – if the DJ’s good enough to stay on, let them know! If not, vote them off. 7.30pm start, free Creation Floorfillers. Pop anthems. 10-2am £2/90p Engine Room Live rock 10-2am £3/£1.50 The Fiddler’s Elbow Late bar, until 2am The Fishbowl Late bar, until 3am Funky Buddha Lounge. Warm Your Soul Classic soul and funk. 10-3am £2/free The Globe Late bar, until 3am Honeyclub Classic house 10-late £4/£2 The Joogleberry Late bar, 11am–1pm Koba Late bar, until 5am Pav Tav Indie for the masses. 10pm–2am, £3/£1.50 Po Na Na Old Skool hip hop. 10-2am, £3 Suga Qube Weekend warm-up with soulful and funky house. 9pm–2am, free Sussex Arts Club: Club Chat Noir gypsy and 1920s night with live bands. 8-2am £8/£6 Volks Totally Techno. Two floors of techno and tough house. 11-6am £4/£3/£2 Western Front Late bar until 3am The Zap Kitsch and cool tunes. 10-3am £4/free for NUS

Gay Amsterdam Food served up to 8pm. Sauna 3pm–4am. 11am–11pm Aquarium 12–11pm Brighton Oasis Sauna 12pm–12am Bright’n’Beautiful Sauna 12–10pm Bulldog 11am–2am Candy Bar 9pm–2am, free Charles Street Club Religion. Hosted by Joan Bond with DJs Richard Jones and Tony B on the decks. 10.30pm-3am, £5/£4 flyer/£3 NUS. £2 drinks promos.

Harlequin 8pm–2am, free Legends Bar 11am–5am Legends Dance 11pm–4am, free Marine Tavern Man Trap. 12pm–12am.

Marlborough Free pool 6pm onwards.

12pm–12am The PV 12pm–12am Queen’s Arms Food, wi-fi access and happy hour till 7pm R-Bar Cabaret with Maisie Trollette and John Bruzon @ 9:30pm. 5-9pm happy hour. 12pm-2am Revenge Manzone is back by popular demand!

Strictly men only. Stripper from midnight. £2 drinks. 10.30pm–3am, £2 Star Inn Food served 12–3pm/6–8pm.

12pm–midnight Vavoom Thirsty Thursday. Music videos all night long. ’Til 4am V2 Club Sydney Mardi Gras 2007! Gabbi’s video and some pics from March visit. Free nibbles.

10pm–late The Zone 1pm–12am

Theatre Blood Brothers The hit West End musical telling the story of twin boys separated at birth who are then reunited by fate and a dark secret.

Worthing Connaught Theatre, 7.30pm, £26.50/£28

The New Statesman Hilarious political and sexual shenanigans in this all-new show starring comedy favourite Rik Mayall. Theatre Royal, 2.30pm and 7.45pm, £16/£19/£23/£26 £16/£20 mat Office Suite A double bill from Alan Bennett on the apparent predictability of life in an office, starring Patricia Routledge. Chichester Festival Theatre, SOLD OUT Perfect Pitch Observational comedy about a couple who find the perfect place to pitch their caravan until the neighbours from hell turn up.

Eastbourne Devonshire Park, 7.45pm, £13.50/£16/£18 Play On! The Southwick Players present Rick Abbot’s hilarious comedy, letting the audience step backstage to discover the trials and tribulations a company faces in the run up to putting on a great show – prima donnas, a constantly changing script, missing props, wobbly scenery and forgotten lines are just the beginning of their problems. The Barn Theatre, Southwick Street, Southwick, Box Office: 01273 597094, 7.30pm, £7.50/£8 Rainbow Live Children’s television favourites Bungle, Zippy and George are back in an all-new live show, with fun and frolics appealing to all ages. The Capitol, Horsham, 2pm, £8 Sweet Charity A tender and poignant tale of a girl who wears her heart on her sleeve. Classic New York musical featuring the hit ‘Hey, Big Spender.’ £1 of ticket sale to Cancer Research.

Eastbourne Congress Theatre, 2.30pm and 7.45pm plus 2.30 matinees, £8.50/£10/£12/£14 (£10 all seats – matinee)

Comedy Gerry K Anecdotal and observational laughs from this East End comic travelling to the seaside. The Light Bar, Worthing, 7pm, £5 Maydays Improvised Comedy Drop-In class Your chance to join in with the mirth-making and learn improvisation from the most respected improv troupe in Sussex.The Open House, 7.30pm, £7

Family and friends Animation Event for ages 13 and up. Create animations using cut paper inspired by the Paper Cuts exhibition.

Hove Museum, 2–5pm, £10 Art and Craft Classes For children aged 18 months to 5 years old. A fun weekly arts and craft class, letting youngsters explore their creativity. Malling Community Centre, Lewes.

For more info/to book please call 01273 488616.

Catalyst Club If you could speak enthusiastically on any subject for 15 minutes, what would you choose? The first and only rule: You talk. Can you speak enthusiastically on a subject for 15 minutes ? If yes, then this evening is for you, probing debate and sharing ideas. Joogleberry Playhouse, 8pm doors, 8.30pm start, £4 Easter Rabbit Trail Pick up a free quiz sheet this week and hunt for famous rabbits that hold the answers to the clues. But you may have to search hard. Once all the rabbits and their answers are found, you can enter the Newhaven Fort Easter Prize Draw (to take place at the end of the holiday). Newhaven Fort, 01273 517622, 10.30am–6pm (last entry 5pm) Greyhound Racing Enjoy the races with friends – place a bet or watch the action with a meal in the Skyline Restaurant. Brighton and Hove Greyhound Stadium. 01273 204601.

Evening race – please call to confirm details.

Paper Animation Based on the popular Paper Cuts exhibition, work with your child under the guidance of an animator and create an animation out of cut paper. Ages 6 and over.

Hove Museum, 10am–1pm, £10 Rockinghorse Race Series 2007 The return of the popular races raising money for children’s charity Rockinghorse. 5k race. To take part call 0845 222 2298 or visit www.rockinghorse.org.uk

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Live music The Treason Show, Komedia, 8.45pm Attrition + Swarf + Freudstein Industrial electronic carnage. Engine Room, 7.30pm, £5 Bajofondo Tango Club With 21st century urban beats from Buenos Aires, this is the electronic tango project of Brokeback Mountain composer Gustavo Santaolalla. A harder and faster version of Gotan Project.

Komedia, 8pm, £15/£13.50 The Beat + Neville Staple One of two versions of the orginal The Beat, this one featuring Ranking Roger. The Special Neville Staple makes this a very special ska revival night. Concorde 2, 6.30pm, £15 Drei + Lake Me All-girl dark-jazz electronica from Brighton meets Newcastle guitar’n’drums duo. Zuma Bar & Gallery, 8pm, donation The Elevators Brunswick, 8pm, £3 Geoff Higginbottom Shanty singer. A Seaford Folk Club event. The Beachcomber, Seaford, 8.15pm, £tbc The Konkoma Maximum Lovegarden Orchestra Afro-Latin six-piece who initially came out of the tail-end of the ‘Madchester’ scene with their high-energy percussive vibe before evolving into a Latin and jazz hybrid.

Joogleberry, 8pm, £8 John Crampton Foot-stompin’ blues and bluegrass. Neptune, 8.30pm, free Letz Zep Tribute band. Martlets Hall, Burgess Hill, 8pm, £12/£10 Martyna + Leon Jay Band Cella, 7.30pm, £5/£4 Moneen + Bayside + Attack In Black Double-header with Moneen – epic, emo, stop-starty type band from Canada with some ridiculously, and frankly rather silly, song titles (‘The Frightening Reality Of The Fact That We Will All Have To Grow Up And Settle Down One Day’), and the alternative punk sounds of Bayside from USA. Pressure Point, 7.30pm, £8.50 The Osmonds + David Essex + David Cassidy + Showaddywadddy Once In A Lifetime Tour with these pop idols of yore.

Brighton Centre, 6.30pm, £39.50 Soundlocker Rock Night With DJ Neil By Mouth and hosted by Juice 107.2’s Damo & Ace. Providence, 8pm, £1 Spike Wells Trio Brighton Jazz Club. Sussex Arts Club, 7.30pm, £10/£8 Theoretical Girl One woman and a guitar with backing tracks – influenced by post-punk oddities such as Essential Logic and Fad Gadget. Midfield General, Johnny Rocks and Dave of She Likes Parties take turns on the decks at this The Nasty Club night. Core Club, 11pm, £5 Worthing Philharmonic Orchestra Present Mendelssohn’s Elijah with Arun Sinfonia.

Assembley Hall, Worthing, 7.30pm, £12/£10

Bars and clubs Above Audio Late bar, until 2am Ali Cats Bar Flow – electro, breaks and booty bass. 8pm–12am, free Ancient Mariner Late bar, until 2am Aqua Bar 70s, 80s and 90s hits, 9pm–2am, free Arc Candy hip-hop, soul and ragga.

10.30am–4am, £8/£5 Audio Against the Grain. An evening with Krafty Kuts. 11–4am, £8/£6/£5 Beach The Big Heavy. Reggae, breaks and jungle. 11-4am, £5 Belushi’s Madness: Sexy chart cheese and club classics. £2 selected drinks until midnight.

10pm–3am Casablanca Mirror Ball: Funky disco.

10.30–3am £6/£5/£4 Concorde 2 Insight Dynamiks vs Digital Elf. Psy-trance. 12-early, £10 Creation Glitter Baby R’n’B and house.

9.30–3am, £6/£4 Engine Rooms.Deviant goth, industrial and indie. 11-3am, £5/£4 The Fiddler’s Elbow Late bar, until 3am The Fishbowl Late bar, until 2am Funky Buddha Lounge 3am Nocturnal. House music for night owls. 3–8am, £10 Komedia It Came from the Sea. Sci-fi experimental disco. 11–3am, £6/√5 The Globe Late bar, until 3am Gloucester Kick Out the Jams. Indie.

10.30–2am £4/£3 Honeyclub.Time First Birthday with Junior Jack and Kid Creme. 10–5am, £10/£8 The Joogleberry Late bar 11am–1pm Koba 24 hour bar Lo Lounge The House Sessions. Quality house with regular guests. 10–3am, £5 Ocean Rooms. Massacre: with Preston from the Ordinary Boys.11–4am, £5 Pav Tav.Rip it Up. Indie anthems. 10–2am, £4/£3 Pressure Point Geek. With Fickle System.

12–4am, £5 Riki Tik Late bar, until 3.30am Suga Qube Evening mass: Sexy, soulful house, 9pm–late Volks Carbon. Drum and bass third birthday bash. 11–5am, £7/£6 The Zap Peach. Trance, house and electro.

10.30–4am, £8/£6 Western Front Late bar, until 3am

Gay Amsterdam Sauna: 3pm–6am, 11am–5am Aquarium 12pm–1am Brighton Oasis Sauna open 24 hours!

Bright ’n’ Beautiful Sauna. 12pm–10pm Bulldog 11am–late Candy Bar Pop rocks vs booty call. 9pm–morning.

Charles Street Bar Fairylea. Cheesy, camp tracks from 10.30 with dj ruby roo & connie conway Charles Street Club Revo. New funky electro club night with DJ Tom Logan. House doubles: £2.99. 10.30pm-3am, £5 Harlequin Shaft. Strictly men only. 9pm–4am, free Legends Bar Pre-yo-yo. 11am–5am Legends Dance Yo-yo. 11pm–4am, free before midnight, £5 after Marine Tavern 12pm–12am Marlborough Live DJ playing some top ’choons’ from 9pm. 12pm–2am Queen’s Arms Food, wi-fi access and happy hour ’til 7pm. 2.30pm–1am R–Bar 12pm–2am Tuesday! R-bar long weekend! 5–9pm happy hour Revenge Easter lollipop vs kinky dangerous.

DJ Dulcie Danger banging away upstairs with the fabulous Lollipop Girls hosting downstairs.

10.30pm–5am £5 before 11pm, £7 after.

Rehab Therapy. 9pm–4am Star Inn Food 12pm–3pm and 6pm–9pm.

11am–1am Vavoom Bar Boyz. Promos till 6pm and when certain tracks play. Dance music videos all night Open ’til 6am V2 Club Open 10pm–late. Music videos upstairs and karaoke downstairs until 12am.

Members free The Zone 1pm–midnight

Theatre Blood Brothers International Triumph. The hit West End musical telling the story of twin boys separated at birth who are then reunited by fate and a dark secret. Worthing Connaught Theatre, 7.30pm, £28/£29.50 The New Statesman Hilarious political and sexual shenanigans in this all-new show starring comedy favourite Rik Mayall. Theatre Royal, 7.45pm, £17/£20/£24/£27 Perfect Pitch Observational comedy about a couple who find the perfect place to pitch their caravan until the neighbours from hell turn up. Eastbourne Devonshire Park, 7.45pm, £13.50/£17.50/£19.50 Play On! The Southwick Players present Rick Abbot’s hilarious comedy, letting the audience step backstage to discover the trials and tribulations a company faces in the run up to putting on a great show – prima donnas, a constantly changing script, missing props, wobbly scenery and forgotten lines are just the beginning of their problems.

The Barn Theatre, Southwick Street, Southwick, Box Office: 01273 597094, 7.30pm, £7.50/£8 Sweet Charity A tender and poignant tale of a girl who wears her heart on her sleeve.

Classic New York musical featuring the hit ‘Hey, Big Spender.’ £1 of ticket sale to Cancer Research. Eastbourne Congress Theatre, 7.45pm, £8.50/£10/£12/£14

Comedy Kronenbourg Krater Comedy Club Bringing a new kind of comedy altogether to the Komedia's basement will be the Raymond And Mr Timkins Revue, along with JJ Whitehead and Andy White. Compering will be provided by the brilliant Stephen Grant. Komedia, 7.30pm, £12/£10

Family & friends Easter Rabbit Trail Pick up a free quiz sheet this week and hunt for famous rabbits that hold the answers to the clues. But you may have to search hard. Once all the rabbits and their answers are found, you can enter the Newhaven Fort Easter Prize Draw (to take place at the end of the holiday). Newhaven Fort, 01273 517622, 10.30am –6pm (last entry 5pm) check with venue before travelling. ➧ Please See our venue directory for details

Live music The Crave + Geisha Alternative rock night.

Providence, 8pm, £1 Crazy P Live downtempo house and psychedelic electro-soul with Danielle P on vocals. Audio, 9pm, £tbc Eliza Carthy & The Ratcatchers From the famous Waterson Carthy family of folk, Eliza has carved a successful career as an inventive and innovative singer and fiddle player, that has seen her twice being nominated for the Mercury Music Prize. Her band includes members of Bellowhead, plus John Spiers, Jon Boden and Ben Ivitsky. Pavilion, Hailsham, 7.30pm, £18.50 Hardcore Weekender Day One of this hardcore weekender with seven bands. The Engine Room, 3–9pm, £6 Johnny Fever + Fran Houghton + Badgerwood + Commission + Liam Butler Cella, 7.30pm, £5/£4 Little Wonder Exciting Brighton melodic rockers with some strong tunes and a bright future. Ocean Rooms, 8pm, £4 Loudon Wainwright III Cult artist who released his first album back in ‘70. His unflinching lyrical candour and skewed humour have won him a loyal following over the years.

It’s also helped that his offspring Martha and Rufus have become big names themselves, helping to reinvigorate a long musical career.

Dome, 7.30pm, £22.50/£18.50 Motorheadache + Furyon Brighton Rock night featuring Motorhead tribute band and loads of classic metal and rock from 70s to present.

Hove Centre, 8.30pm, £12/£10 Mumm-Ra + Youngplan Of-the-moment indie band who recently completed the NME Rock Tour along with The Automatic and The View.

Named after a Thunderbirds villain, they’ve had two chart hits already with ‘Out of the Question’ and ‘What Would Steve Do’. Concorde 2, 7pm, £7 OTB Soul 11-piece playing classic soul. Lord knows how they’ll squeeze onto the small stage! Joogleberry, 8pm, £8 Reelinandarockin Sixties show featuring Dave Berry, Dave Dee, Barry Ryan, Susan Maughan and Chip Hawkes. The Capitol, Horsham, 7.30pm, £tbc Rylics + Beyond Ashes + Forget Me Not Pressure Point, 8pm, £4/£3 Ska Toons Local ska covers and originals band.

Brunswick, 8pm, £5

Bars and clubs Above Audio Late bar, until 2am Ali Cats Bar Uni-Fi, Nu-Skool and Oldskool breaks. 8pm–12am, free Ancient Mariner Late bar, until 2am Aqua Bar Resident DJ 9pm–2am, free The Arc Hold Up! Popular indie night with regular special guests. 10–2.30am, £5 Audio Kliks. Post-minimal madness. 11–4am, £8/£6 Arc Bar Holdup: Brighton’s favourite Indie night.10pm–4am, £5 Belushi’s Utopia: 80s classics and club

anthems. £2 selected drinks until midnight.

10pm–3am Concorde 2 Supercharged. Breaks with the Freestylers. 11–3am, £10 The Fiddler’s Elbow Late bar, until 3am The Fishbowl Late bar, until 3am Funky Buddha Lounge Buddha Soul. Soulful and funky tunes. 10–3am, £10/£7 Funky Buddha Lounge Bright ‘n’ Early. After hours action. 3–8am, £10 The Globe Late bar, until 3am Gloucester Monkey The Wild Fruit folks’ Saturday nighter. 10–4am, £9/£7/£5 Hectors House DISC: Indie/electro. Tim Jenson and residents. 9pm–2am Honey Club. Seven Sins. Funky big room house with Eric Prydz. 10.30–5am, £12/£7 The Joogleberry Late bar, 11am–1pm Koba 24-hour bar!

New Madeira Hotel Funky Fish Club. Funk, soul and jazz. £4 before 11pm, £5 after Ocean Rooms.Love Stick. Luvved-up action with Nathan Cole. 11–8am, £10/£8 Riki Tik Late bar, until 3.30am Suga Qube Qubed. Rare groove and funk, 6pm–9pm, up-front and energetic house, 9pm–late Sussex Arts Club. We Luv Pop 80s and 90s.

Top of the Pops. 10–3am, £6/£5 Volks Breathless house and electro. 10–5am, £6/£5 Western Front Late bar, until 3am The Zap Born to Dance. First birthday of the house/electro bash. 11–5am, £tbc

Gay Amsterdam Sauna 3pm–4am, 11am–2am Aquarium 12pm–11pm Brighton Oasis Sauna 12pm–7am Bright’n’Beautiful Sauna 12–10pm Bulldog 11am–late Charles Street Bar 12pm–late Charles Street Club Bliss. PA from Andy ScottLee. Two-floor special with guest DJs Tony Armstrong/Gabbi Goody/JT/Alex.11pm–3am, £3 The Gloucester Monkey. Brighton’s favourite DJs playing some top tunes. Drinks promos.

10pm–4am, NUS £5 all night, others £5 before 11pm/£7 before midnight/£9 after Harlequin 9pm–4am, free before 11pm/ £2 before 12/£5 after Legends Bar Pre-Ignition.11am–5am Legends Dance Ignition. 11pm–4am Marine Tavern 12pm–12am Marlborough Live DJ playing some top choons from 9pm. 12pm–2am Ocean Rooms Lovestick! Live vocals, musicians, massage and magic. Guest DJ Nathan Coles.11pm–8am, £10/NUS £8/£5 after 4am The PV DJ Rascal from 9pm. 12pm–1am Queens Arms Food, wi-fi access and happy hour ’til 7pm. Info: ww.queensarmsbrighton.com R-Bar Open 24 hours! Pop videos all night. Great food all day. Discount tickets for Revenge available.

Revenge Downstairs: Queercarnage with DJs Dusty O and Nik C. All drinks £2 before 12.

10.30pm–6am, free before 11pm/£5 before

12am/£7 after 12am/£3 after 3am. NUS £3 Star Inn Food 12pm–6pm. Proud To Bear night 9pm. 11am–1am Vavoom School Boyz disco theme with promos and dance videos all night. Open ’til 6am V2 Club School Boyz disco party continues with pole-dancing contest. Karaoke until midnight.

Open from 10pm–late Members get free entry The Zone 1pm–12am

Theatre Blood Brothers International Triumph. The hit West End musical telling the story of twin boys separated at birth who are then reunited by fate and a dark secret. Worthing Connaught Theatre, 2pm and 7.30pm, £26.50/£28 mat, £28/£29.50 eve Musical In A Week: The Dreamer Music theatre for friends and family of the children who have taken part in this week-long workshop to create today’s performance.

Brighton Dome, Sat 14 Apr, 3pm, £3 adults/£1 children The New Statesman Hilarious political and sexual shenanigans in this all-new show starring comedy favourite Rik Mayall. Theatre Royal, 2.30pm and 7.45pm, £16/£19/£23/£26 mat, £17/£20/£24/£27 eve Perfect Pitch Observational comedy about a couple who find the perfect place to pitch their caravan until the neighbours from hell turn up.

Eastbourne Devonshire Park, 2.30pm and 7.45pm, £13.50/£17.50/£19.50, £13.50 mat Play On! The Southwick Players present Rick Abbot’s hilarious comedy, letting the audience step backstage to discover the trials and tribulations a company faces in the run up to putting on a great show – prima donnas, a constantly changing script, missing props, wobbly scenery and forgotten lines are just the beginning of their problems.

The Barn Theatre, Southwick Street, Southwick, Box Office: 01273 597094, 2.30pm and 7.30pm, £7.50/£8 Reelin’ And A Rockin’ Hits to sing-along to from the swingin’ sixties. The Capitol, Horsham, please call for times and prices Sweet Charity A tender and poignant tale of a girl who wears her heart on her sleeve. Classic New York musical featuring the hit ‘Hey, Big Spender’. £1 of ticket sale to Cancer Research.

Eastbourne Congress Theatre, 2.30pm and 7.45pm, £8.50/£10/£12/£14 (£10 all seats – matinee)

Comedy Kronenbourg Krater Comedy Club Bringing a new kind of comedy altogether to the Komedia's basement will be the Raymond And Mr Timkins Revue, along with JJ Whitehead and Andy White. Dan Atkinson will be your MC. Komedia, 7pm & 10.30pm, £16

Family and friends Brilliant Bag Day Pick up a bag of fun and games to play around the museum and take part in some arty activities. Free drop-in for all ages.

Hove Museum, 1–5pm, free Coming To Your Senses Claire Collison leads a workshop for writers of all levels. This practical course is designed to work out all the senses to jump-start the imagination, trigger memory and access inspiration. 10 places available – 8 places must be booked for this course to run. Book with Ella on 01273 571700.

Brighton Writers’ Centre, 49 Grand Parade, Brighton, 10am–1pm, £14/£15 Goods Train Weekend Discover history at the Bluebell Railway as the goods trains – once the backbone of Britain – operate between the regular passenger services. Bluebell Railway, Sheffield Park, East Sussex, 01825 720825. www.bluebell-railway.co.uk

Crazy P, Audio, 9pm

check with venue before travelling. ➧ Please See our venue directory for details

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saturday 14

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Functions rooms available for all kinds of parties of 10-190 guests Free venue hire Sunday – Thursday contact info@kobauk.com or call Tel: 01273 720059

135 Western Road, Brighton BN1 2LA www.kobauk.com

EXCITING NEW ROUTES AT BRIGHTON’S CLIMBING WALL! YOUNG PEOPLE AND ADULTS GROUPS Youth and Community • Schools and Colleges • Birthday Parties • Corporate Special events • Regular kids clubs Equipment provided • Qualified Instruction

INDIVIDUAL CLIMBERS!!

Novices: £15 for two and a half hours instruction in basic climbing techniques and safety (contact us for dates and times)

Experienced: Open session every Tuesday 6-10pm and Thursday 7-10pm. Equipment hire available

The Rock Court is at Stanley Deason Leisure Centre Wilson Avenue, Brighton CONTACT US FOR DETAILS OF OUR REGULAR KIDS CLUBS AND OTHER AVAILABILITY

9:46 AM

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sunday 15 Live music Acoustic Jam Session Weekly chilled eve of acoustic jamming with PA. Portland, 8pm, free Adrian Harvey Acoustic rock, Neil Young style.

Neptune, 8.30pm, free Best Of Brighton Grand final of the Best of Brighton bands. Pressure Point, 8pm, £1 Bryony Female harmony trio who play keyboards, hammer and Appalachian dulcimers, mandola and recorder. A Horsham Folk Club event. The Normandy Centre, Denne Road, Horsham, 8pm, £6-2 Gillian Glover + Tom Hardy + Sam Langhorne Clems Daughter of Deep Purple’s Roger Glover, hers is a more melodic sound aided by legendary drummer Woody Woodmansey (he played on Bowie’s early 70s output), Tod Melvin, the former keyboardist with Ian Dury’s pre-Blockheads band Kilburn & The High Roads, Pete Dixon, Michael Giaquinto and Claus Bohling. Anchor Inn, Barcombe, 8pm, £10 Girls From Egypt Psychedelic indie rock from Brighton. Hectors House, 8pm, £free Hardcore Weekender Day two of this hardcore weekender with seven bands. The Engine Room, 3-9pm, £6 Hot Knives + Too Many Crooks + Les Skalopes + Ettin + The Meow Meows + The Karmatones Brighton Ska Festival. 5 spectacular with 11 bands in total, headlined by the Bad Manners inspired Hot Knives. Concorde 2, 3pm, £8.50 James Harries + The Sea Will Decide Cella, 7.30pm, £5/£4 Jamie Regan Band + First For None + Jason Burn Pav Tav, 8pm, free Lianne Carroll Consistently voted one of the best around, her energy, passion, personality, voice and skill as a pianist combines for a truly engaging night out. Joogleberry, 8pm, £10 No Age + Oppenheimer + Munch Munch No Age is Randy Randall and Dean Spunt, two punk, skate and art dudes from LA who make a collision of sweetly shouted ditties, ecstatic crunch feedback and violent bouts of percussion.

Oppenheimer are a sumptuous synth-pop experience. Hope, 7.30pm, £6/5 Sebastian Fors & The Ones That Got Away + The Gresham Flyers + Esiotrot Anglo Svensk Promotions night with live Swedish bands and DJing. Prince Albert, 8pm, £tbc Terry Seabrook Jazz Trio Brunswick, 3pm, free The Tokyo Dragons Hard rockers. Engine Room, 7pm, £5 (free to those attending the hardcore weekender) Waking The Witch Female four-piece with glorious harmonies, and gorgeous, acoustic-based instrumentation. Had some Bob Harris airplay recently. The Greys, 8.30pm, £10 Worthing Symphony Orchestra Performing Tchaikovsky’s Fantasy Overture Romeo & Juliet, Piano, and Piano Concerto No.1 in Bb Minor, and Kalinnikov’s Symphony No.1 in G Minor.

Assembly Hall, Worthing, 2.45pm, £22-14

Bars and clubs Above Audio Late bar, until 1am Ancient Mariner Late bar, until 1am Cosmopolitan Bar The Full Moon pub quiz and Sunday roasts. Quiz 7.30pm, roasts from 1–6pm The Fiddler’s Elbow Late bar, until 2am The Globe Late bar, until 2am The Joogleberry Late bar. Until 12am Koba 24 hour bar!

St. Christopher’s Open mic night, open till 2am Sunday School The Zap. Funky tribal house. 10late, £5/3 Sundelicious Honey Club. Big room electro. 102am, free/£1 Suga Qube Carry-on Sunday, free

Gay 01273 681058 info@aultd.org www.aultd.org 64 Edward Street Brighton BN2 0JR

Bulldog 11am–2am.

Candy Bar Kalabash mish-mash. From 9pm, £2 Charles Street Bar Sunday lunches.12–10.30pm

Charles Street Club Sunday service. Religion’s new Sunday night party starts tonight playing the best in funky house. 10.30pm–3am, £4/£3 Kooklub 10.30pm-3am – Cash queen one off winter special with DJs Mick Fuller, Dulcie Danger and special guests. Door: £5 before 11, £7 after. £4 with special pass before 11.30pm.

Legends Bar Trashville Tennesee. 11am–5am Legends Dance Embrace.11pm–4am, free Marine tavern 12pm–12am Marlborough Sunday mega-roast lunches 12–7pm plus live acoustic music at 6pm.

12pm–12am Marlborough Theatre Scratch, 8pm. £5. www.ticketsource.co.uk/marlboroughtheatre The PV Eeles from 6pm. 12–11pm Queens Arms Super Sunday! Cabaret with Lady Imelda at 5.15pm then Betty’s Karaoke Show.

2:30pm–11pm R-Bar Cabaret with Sandra on stage at 4.30pm.

6–9pm happy hour. Open until 2am Revenge All pints £2. 10.30pm–3am, £2 before midnight then £3 Star Inn Sunday lunches 12–4pm then Bears’ Beer Bash! 12pm–late Vavoom Chill-out music videos all day. till 3am

Theatre An Evening With... Julian Clary Julian Clary reveals all in this intimate show, filled Clary’s wit and charm that has captivated audiences for 20 years. The Capitol, Horsham, 8pm, £20 The Goodies Still Rule OK! Clips, sketches and reminiscences of the legendary Goodies. With Tim Brooke-Taylor and Graeme Garden. Eastbourne Congress Theatre, 7.30pm, £17.50/£19.50 Scratch Night Comedy, dance and spoken word where the audience is invited to give new artists feedback on their performance! Marlborough Theatre, 8pm, £5

Comedy Kronenbourg Krater Comedy Club Bringing a new kind of comedy altogether to the Komedia's basement will be the Raymond And Mr Timkins Revue, along with JJ Whitehead and Dan Atkinson. Compering will be provided by the brilliant Stephen Grant. Komedia, 8pm, £9/£6 Reginald D Hunter – Pride and Prejudice and Niggas The intelligent, challenging and very funny American tackles issues of racism and society in his own inimitable style. A very funny man. Komedia, 7.30pm, £12/10 Sidesplitters Eddie Brimson headlines tonight's regular Western Road joviality, with Hackney Empire New Act 2007 finalist Maureen Younger opening. The Providence, 8pm, £4

Family and friends Car Boot Sale Weekly car boot. No stalls before 12.30pm, Plumpton Racecourse, BN7 3AZ, £10 vans/£8 cars, 50p adults entry Craft Fair With over 70 stalls, this craft fair is the ideal place to buy your gifts. Worthing Pavilion Theatre. 10.30am–4.30pm, free Ghost Tour A tour around Preston Manor as seen on TV’s Most Haunted, with some spooky stories told along the way. Preston Manor, 2.15–3.15pm, 3.30–4.30pm, £6.50 adults, £3.50 children Goods Train Weekend Discover history at the Bluebell Railway as the goods trains operate between the regular passenger services. Bluebell Railway, Sheffield Park, East Sussex, 01825 720825. www.bluebell-railway.co.uk Greyhound racing Enjoy the races with friends – place a bet or watch the action with a meal in the Skyline Restaurant. Brighton and Hove Greyhound Stadium. 01273 204601. Evening race call 481654 to confirm details. £2.40 children, £3.25 adults, 10am–4.30pm

mon 16 Live music Bad Science + Support Local and political conscience upbeat dub dance band with a ska vibe. A Sussex University fundraiser. Pressure Point, 11pm, £3 The Diablos Country music from the UK. The Greys, 8.30pm, £6 Feist She’s rapped with Peaches (and even lived with her), duetted with Kings of Convenience and is, or has been, a member of both Broken Social Scene and the Apostles of Hustle. 2004’s Let It Die, won unanimous acclaim, and there’s a new one due this month. One of only two dates for this Canadian artist who now lives in France.

Komedia, 8pm, £12.50 Ghosts Of A Thousand + Ella + Blue Print For A Downfall + Scar My Eyes Engine Room, 7.30pm, £tbc Luke Toms English songwriting eccentric, part of a new wave of like-minded musical souls that includes Mika and Brighton’s Paul Steel. A bewildering fusion of Freddy Mercury, Hercule Poirot and David Bowie. Joogleberry, 8pm, £7 Spotlight Kid + Cottonmouth + Feverfew Harder version of the early 90s shoegazing sound by ex-Six By Seven’s Chris Davis and Bent singer Katty Heath. Hope, 7.30pm, £tbc

Bars and clubs Above Audio Late bar, until 1am Ancient Mariner Late bar, until 1am Beach We Love 90s. Tunes from way back when. £2/90p 10.30pm-3am Belushi’s Eccentric, eclectic and mostly electric. 9pm–2am, £2 selected drinks. £2 entry.

Casablanca Now That’s What I Call the Eighties. £free 10.30pm-3am Cosmopolitan Bar Parlour Games: Have a drink and play some games. Bring your own games or choose from the selection at the bar.

The Fiddler’s Elbow Late bar, until 2am The Fishbowl Late bar, until 2am Funky Buddha Lounge Caramel R and B, Hip Hop and Funk. 10.30pm-3.30am, £3/1 The Globe Late bar, until 2am Honey Club Stardust versus Corrosion. Cheese and rock double header. £4.50/1.50, 11pm-4am The Joogleberry Late bar 11am–1pm Koba Late bar until 5am Suga Qube 2-4-1 on cocktails, 5pm–2am Volks Tip-Top present Strictly Reggae.

Dancehall, bashment & roots. £4.50/3.50 10pm

Gay Bulldog 11am-2am Candy Bar Shibby Shabblers. 10pm-2am, £3/£2 Charles Street Club Studio 150.

10.30pm–3am, £1.50 entry, drinks from £1.50 Legends Bar 11am-5am Legends Dance Mojo. 11pm-4am, free Marine Tavern Elsie’s Chillout. 12pm-12am Marlborough Games and tunes. 12pm-12am Queen’s Arms Food, wi-fi access and happy hour till 7pm. 2:30pm-11:30pm R-Bar £2 pints 9pm-2am. 12pm-2am Revenge Boogaloo Stu’s Shinky Shonky. All drinks £2.10.30pm-3am, free Star Inn Food 12-3pm and 6-9pm. 11am-11pm Vavoom Until 4am The Zone 1pm-12am

Theatre Bargain Black comedy about a man who makes a deal with Mother Teresa of Calcutta, only for his body to be found floating in the Atlantic three years later... Theatre Royal. 7.45pm, £16/£19/£23/£25 Dead Funny Award-winning comedy about relationships and sex therapy. A wife struggles when her husband seems more interested in running the ‘Dead Funny Society.’ Eastbourne Devonshire Park. 7.45pm, £13.50/£16/£18

In partnership with Brighton and Hove Council

44 latest 7

check with venue before travelling. ➧ Please See our venue directory for details

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A-Z venue directory Brighton and Hove Ali Cats 80 East Street, Brighton 01273 220902 Amsterdam 11 Marine Parade 01273 688825 www.amsterdam.uk.com Aqua 23 Waterfront Brighton Marina 01273 819800 Aquarium 6 Steine Street, Brighton 01273 605525 www.pleisure.com Arc 160 Kings Road Arches 01273 770505 Arthouse Gallery 10 Western Road, Hove 01273 770083 Audio 10 Marine Parade 01273 606906 www.audiobrighton.com Bar Bamboogy 78 West Street, Brighton www.creationbrighton.com Barley Mow 92 St George’s Road 01273 682259 The Beach 171–181 Kings Road Arches, Brighton 01273 722272 Belushi’s 10-12 Grand Junction Road, Brighton 01273 202035 Brighton Centre Kings Road, Brighton 0870 900 9100 www.brightoncentre.co.uk Brighton College Eastern Road www.brightoncollege.net Brighton Dome 29 New Road, Brighton 01273 709709 www.brighton-dome.org.uk Brighton Gloucester 27 Gloucester Place 01273 688011 Brighton and Hove Greyhound Stadium Nevill Road, Hove 01273 204601 www.trap6.com/hove Brighton Museum & Art Gallery Royal Pavilion Gardens, 01273 290900 Brighton Peace & Environment Centre Brighton Ecocentre, 39–41 Surrey Street 01273 766610 Brighton Rocks 6 Rock Place 01273 601139 Brighton Women’s Centre 72 High Street, Brighton 01273 698036 The Brunswick 1 Holland Road, Hove 01273 733984 Bulldog, 31 St James’s Street 01273 696996 www.bulldogbrighton.com Candy Bar 129 St James’s Street 01273 622424 www.thecandybar.co.uk Caroline of Brunswick 39 Ditchling Road, Brighton 01273 624434 Casablanca Middle Street, Brighton 01273 321817 Cella at Sanctuary Café 51–55 Brunswick St East, Hove 01273 770006 Charles Street Bar & Club 8 Marine Parade 01273 624091 www.charlesstreetbar.com Cineworld Brighton Marina Village 01273 818094 www.cineworld.co.uk Clair Hall Perrymount Road, Haywards Heath 01444 455440 Concorde 2 Madeira Drive, Brighton 01273 673311 www.concorde2.co.uk Core Club 12–15 King’s Road, Brighton 01273 326848 Corn Exchange 29 New Road, Brighton 01273 709709 www.brighton-dome.org.uk Cornerstone Community Centre Church Road, Hove 01273 327757 Cosmopolitan Bar 29-31 New Steine 01273 682461 The Cowley Club 12 London Road, Brighton 01273 696104 www.cowleyclub.org.uk Creation 78 West Street, Brighton 01273 321628 www.creationbrighton.com Doctor Brighton’s 16–17 Kings Road 01273 328765 www.pleisure.com Dome 29 New Road, Brighton 01273 709709 www.brighton-dome.org.uk Duke of York’s Picturehouse Preston Circus, Brighton 01273 626261 www.picturehouses.co.uk Education Room Brighton Pavilion 01273 296971 Engine Room 5 Preston Street, Brighton 01273 728999 www.engineroomclub.com Enigma 10 Ship Street, Brighton 01273 328439 www.theenigmabrighton.co.uk The Fishbowl 74 East Street 01273 777505 Fitzherberts 25 New Road 01273 682401 Freebutt 1 Phoenix Place 01273 603974 Freemasons 38 Western Road, Hove 01273 732043 Funky Buddha Lounge 169–170 Kings Road Arches, Brighton 01273 725541 Gap Club 61a Western Road, Hove 0844 999 6349 Gardner Arts Centre, University of Sussex campus, Falmer 01273 685861 www.gardnerarts.co.uk The George 5 Trafalgar Street, Brighton 01273 681055 The Globe 78 Middle Street, Brighton 01273 727114 The Greys 105 Southover Street, Brighton 01273 680734 The Hanbury Club 83 St George’s Road, Brighton 01273 605789 Hare & Hounds 75 London Road, Brighton 01273 681163

Harlequin 43 Providence Place, Brighton 01273 620630 www.harlequin-brighton.co.uk Hobgoblin 31 York Place, Brighton 01273 602519 Honeyclub 214 Kings Road Arches, 01273 202807 www.thehoneyclub.co.uk The Hope 10–12 Queen’s Road, Brighton 01273 325793 Hove Museum & Art Gallery 194 Church Road, Hove 01273 290200 Hove Town Hall, Norton Road, Hove 0870 900 9100 www.brighton-hove.gov.uk Jazz Place 10 Ship Street, Brighton 01273 328439 www.thejazzplacebrighton.co.uk Joogleberry Playhouse 14–17 Manchester Street, Brighton 01273 687171 www.joogleberry.com Juggler Bar 21 Western Road, Hove 01273 724195 King and Queen 13 Marlborough Place, Brighton 01273 606207 Komedia Gardner Street, Brighton 01273 647100 www.komedia.co.uk Koo Klub 10 Pool Valley, Brighton 01273 888000 www.kooklub.co.uk Lo Lounge 106 Kings Road, Brighton 01273 715077 Marlborough Bar & Theatre 4 Princes Street, Brighton 07782 278521 www.marlboroughtheatre.co.uk Marine Tavern 13 Broad Street, Brighton 01273 681284 www.harlequin-brighton.co.uk Mint Meeting House Lane 0871 2072 088 Mojo’s Bar & Restaurant 103 North Road, Brighton 01273 622522 New Madeira Hotel 19-23 Marine Parade, Brighton 01273 698331 New Venture Theatre Bedford Place 01273 746118 www.newventure.org.uk Ocean Rooms 1–2 Morley Street, Brighton 01273 699069 Odeon Cinema West Street, Brighton 0871 224 4007 www.odeon.co.uk Ohso Social 250a Kings Road Arches, Brighton 01273 746067 The Old Market Upper Market Street, Hove 01273 736222 www.theoldmarket.co.uk The Park Crescent Pub 39 Park Crescent Terrace, Brighton 01273 604993 Pavilion Tavern 7–8 Castle Square, Brighton 0844 999 6331 Pavilion Theatre 29 New Road, Brighton 01273 709709 www.brighton-dome.org.uk Penthouse (above the Freebutt), 1 Phoenix Place, Brighton 01273 603 974 Pintxo People 95-99 Western Road, Brighton 01273 732323 www.pintxopeople.co.uk Portland Rock Bar 153 Portland Road, Hove 01273 383840 www.portlandrockbar.co.uk Po Na Na Unit 2, 75-79 East Street, Brighton 01273 777904 www.ponana.com Pressure Point 33 Richmond Place, Brighton 01273 702333 www.pressurepoint.me.uk Preston Manor Preston Drove, Brighton 01273 292770 Prestonville Arms 64 Hamilton Road, Brighton 01273 701007 Prince Albert 48 Trafalgar Street, Brighton 01273 730499 The Providence 130 Western Road, Hove 01273 727822 PV 22 Upper North Street, Brighton 01273 325491 www.thepv.co.uk Queen’s Arms 7 George Street, Brighton 01273 696873 R-Bar 7 Marine Parade, Brighton 01273 608133 www.revenge.co.uk Red Roaster Café 1d St James’s Street, Brighton 01273 686668 Rehab Brighton Marina 01273 675007 www.rehabbrighton.com Rendezvous Casino Brighton Marina 01273 605602 www.rendezvouscasino.com Revenge 32 Old Steine, Brighton 01273 606064 www.revenge.co.uk Revue Bar 19 New Steine, Brighton 01273 607456 Riki Tik 18a Bond Street, Brighton 01273 683844 Saqqara 158 North Street, Brighton 01273 779701 Sky Bar 54-55 Meeting House Lane, Brighton www.skybarbrighton.com Star Inn 5–9 Manchester Street, Brighton 01273 601450 Suga Qube 5 Castle Square 01273 770246 Sumo 9–12 Middle Street 01273 749465 Sussex Arts Club 7 Ship Street 01273 778020

Comprehensive list of venues to complement our listings

Theatre Royal New Road 08700 606650 www.theambassadors.com/theatreroyal V2 5 Steine Street, Brighton 01273 609672 Vanilla Bar 73a Western Road, Hove 01273 748182 Vavoom 31 Old Steine, Brighton 01273 603010 Volks The Colonnade, 3 Madeira Drive, Brighton 01273 682828 www.volksclub.co.uk Western Front Near Churchill Square, Brighton 01273 725656 White Horse 30 Camelford Street, Brighton 01273 603726 Wild Fruit @ Creation, 78 West Street, Brighton www.wildfruit.co.uk The Zap Kings Road Arches, Brighton 01273 202407 Zoot Street Bar Queens Road, Brighton 01273 737770 The Zone 33 St James’s Street, Brighton 01273 626442

Around Sussex The Anchor Inn Anchor Lane, Barcombe 01273 400414 www.anchorinnandboating.co.uk Ashdown Forest Broadstone car park, second left from Wychcross Assembly Hall Connaught Theatre Pavilion Theatre, Union Place, Worthing 01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk The Black Horse High Street, Findon, Worthing 01903 872301 Bluebell Railway Sheffield Park Station, East Sussex 01825 720800 Café Blue Pevensey Road, Eastbourne 07834 405675 The Capitol North Street, Horsham 01403 750220 Chichester Festival Theatre Oaklands Park 01243 781312 www.cft.org.uk Clair Hall Perrymount Road, Haywards Heath 01444 455440 Congress Theatre Carlisle Road, Eastbourne 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk

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Devonshire Park Theatre Compton Street, Eastbourne 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Fountain Inn High Street, Handcross 01444 400218 www.fountainpub.co.uk The Half Brick 221 Brighton Road, Worthing 01903 234196 The Hawth Hawth Avenue, Crawley 01293 553636 www.hawth.co.uk Horsham Folk Club The Normandy Centre, Denne Road, Horsham 01306 875653 www.horshamfolkclub.co.uk Jack Horner 80 High Street, Worthing 01903 236427 Malling Community Centre Spences Lane, Lewes 01273 477931 www.mallingcommunitycentre.com Martlets Martlets Hall, Civic Way, Burgess Hill 01444 242888 Royal Hippodrome Theatre 108 Seaside Road, Eastbourne 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Royal Oak Station Street, Lewes 01273 478124 St Thomas à Beckett Church Hall Cliffe High Street, Lewes United Reformed Church Clinton Place, corner of Broad Street, Seaford Winter Garden Theatre Compton Street, Eastbourne 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Worthing Museum & Art Gallery Chapel Road, Worthing 01903 221140 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk Worthing Connaught Theatre Union Place, Worthing 01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk Worthing Pavilion Theatre Marine Parade, Worthing 01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk

■ We try to ensure all event details are correct but regret we cannot be held responsible for any inaccuracies. Please check directly with the venue before travelling ■

latest 7 45

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JOBS

latest

jobs Right direction New operations manager brings wealth of experience to Compass Bars With the recent acquisition of the beautiful Crown And Anchor in Shoreham

by Sea and the historic New Inn in Hurstpierpoint, to add to The Bull in Ditchling and the Charles Napier and Dover Castle in Hanover, Compass Bars have had an exciting 12 months. To help manage their continued growth, owners Dominic Worrall and Jeremy Martin are delighted to announce the appointment of an operations manager, Justyn Brogan.

Raised in California, Justyn initially worked for various holiday companies in Europe, including Crystal and Thompson Holidays before moving to England in 2002 to take up the position of restaurant manager at the Best Western Tollgate Hotel in West Sussex. Soon afterwards, Justyn was promoted to food and beverage manager and ultimately deputy general manager. In October 2005, he moved to become general manager at the widely renowned and highly commended Jolly Sportsman in East Chiltington.

Compass Bars’ owners Dominic and Jeremy are delighted to welcome Justyn to their team, saying: ”We’re thrilled that Justyn has joined us as operations manager to oversee the smooth running of our current establishments and help drive our future expansion plans.”

Premier league PR company The Priory Partnership look forward to a £1m turnover this year Last month Brighton-based public relations and events agency, The Priory Partnership, announced it has doubled in size over the past two years, expecting to exceed a £1m turnover this year.

To maintain this growth, the South East agency has strengthened its management team, promoting PR director Paula Seager to managing director, and bringing its senior PR account director, Rochelle Humphrey, into the senior management team alongside business awards director Robin Fegan.

Seager, 39, who has led Priory’s PR department for five years overseeing the Paula Seager successful commercial growth of the company, said: “Priory is now in the top league of South East PR agencies and we aim to maintain the pace of our growth for the coming five years. In January 2007 we had a record month, bucking a downward trend in the UK PR market, and we are currently recruiting our third staff member in just three months, to bolster our new business team.

The Priory team is second to none when it comes to creative public relations and event management and we were delighted to win another gold at the Chartered Institute of Public Relations regional awards this month. The South East is our patch and we have top-notch relationships with the leading media and businesses in the region.”

Priory runs a range of prestigious awards schemes for business and the hospitality sector in South London, Surrey, Kent and Sussex, as well as handling PR accounts for a range of top business clients and public sector organisations.

Priory clients and sponsors include: Deloitte, Royal Bank of Scotland, Laing O’Rourke, Brighton Marina, Tourism South East, Learning and Skills Council, DMH Stallard, Brighton and Hove City Council and many more big names.

EXPERIENCED PROPERTY MANAGER REQUIRED Priors are an independent practice committed to providing a first class, professional service in the management of residential properties, mainly in Brighton & Hove.

To complement our existing hard-working team we require an experienced property manager who is seeking a challenging but satisfying position with responsibility.

CAN YOU ANSWER YES TO THE FOLLOWING? • Minimum of 5 years’ experience • Good knowledge of building construction and leasehold legislation • A mature approach in dealing with a wide variety of people • A methodical approach to problem solving • The ability to communicate clearly, impartially but concisely If so and you are looking for a secure position with a firm of ARMA and RICS standing, please write to me with your CV. Philip G Wilford BA FRICS Priors 90 Western Road Hove BN3 1GG email: management@wmprior.co.uk

46 latest jobs

TWO PART-TIME ADMINISTRATORS/RECEPTIONISTS Independent Letting Agent require two part time administrators/receptionists to work in a busy office in Hove.

The successful applicants must be computer literate with good knowledge of Word, possess good communication skills and be able to work on own initiative. Good rate of pay and hours negotiable.

Apply with CV to: Toby Carrington Carrington Estates 210 Church Road Hove BN3 2DJ

info@carrington-property.co.uk

01273 777680 hundreds of jobs every week...

047_LS316_Job Ads

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JOBS

Property Recruitment Specialists

Sales Manager

East Coastal

We require a high achiever who is motivated and dedicated to contribute towards the growth of this well-established busy office. Only experienced residential sales managers need apply.

Property Manager

Hove

To complement existing hard-working team we require an experienced property manager who is seeking a challenging but satisfying position with responsibility.

Trainee Negotiators

E.W Sussex

We are currently looking to recruit enthusiastic, professional, articulate and well-presented individuals for residential sales & letting agents. If this sounds like you then contact us immediately for further details.

Letting Negotiator

Burgess Hill

Unlimited potential for a hard working, motivated individual preferably with experience but full training will be provided for the right candidate.

Covering East & West Sussex, Kent, Surrey & Hampshire.

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Sales Executive required for busy advertising dept To manage the sales for Latest 7 as well as working on other titles. Responsible for managing existing accounts as well as developing new areas of advertising revenue within the magazine group.

You will be required to have: • Minimum of two years experience • Proven track record in face to face sales and negotiation skills • Ability to work on own initiative and be highly motivated • Be extremely organised and able to work to deadlines • Excellent customer service skills • Energetic & enthusiastic approach Apply by emailing your CV to lynne@thelatest.co.uk or call Lynne Edwards on 01273 818150 ex. 112 for an informal chat Latest Homes Ltd Unit 1, Level 5 North, New England House New England Street, Brighton BN1 4GH 01273 818150 www.thelatest.co.uk

...to advertise call our sales team on 01273 818150

latest homes latest jobs 47

048_LS316_TVIntro

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latestTV

Dani on TV

Films on TV

She says it how she sees it

SATURDAY 14

Pinero ★★★✩✩ (2001, BBC2, 12.20am. Dir Leon Ichaso) Settle in for a moving bio-pic chronicling the high life and low times of heroin addict, poet and playwright Miguel Pinero. Benjamin Britt exels at portraying a cult celebrity who was briefly caught in the flashlight of New York fame before ultimately succumbing to the gutter.

Matt Chittock

Casino Royale ★★★✩✩ (1967, ITV3, 1.50pm. Dir Ken Hughes) Bond fans beware, this spoof 60s spy caper has nothing to do with last year’s Daniel Craig effort. Instead it’s a kind of proto-Austin Powers with David Niven starring as an aged spy up against an all-star cast of enemies (including Woody Allen and Orson Welles). Period fun for 60s nuts.

MC

Legally Blonde ★★★✩✩

Sky’s the limit Dani looks at the positive fallout coming our way as two TV companies fight it out Those of you out there who have Sky, NTL or Virgin or whatever else they are called nowadays, will have witnessed the battle happening between Virgin TV and Sky. Virgin appeared on our TVs, we pressed red and were introduced to a host of cool TV shows for free. Yes, free.

Unlike Sky, Virgin were showing recent series for free, and it was great: Alias (which I’m now addicted to); Nip/Tuck; Grey’s Anatomy; Spooks; The Closer; and many more. And all for free. I couldn’t believe my luck. And it got better, didn’t it? Sky suddenly realised that they were being silly charging us 49p to £1.50 to watch programmes we’d missed, so they made most of their TV programmes free too. Bonus.

The only problem was that Sky, while having a tantrum, decided to punish us all for watching Virgin by taking away Sky One. But when you think about it, Nip/Tuck is a hell of a lot more interesting than reruns of The Simpsons, so it doesn’t really matter too much.

So, with Sky and Virgin giving us a whole host of free TV, what’s best to watch?

In the drama section on Sky On Demand there’s Teachers series two, three and four. Which is just great really, because who doesn’t love that series? If comedy is what you’re after, you have all the good old ones like Whose Line Is it Anyway?, Spaced, which many of us know and love, Hyperdrive, with Spaced’s Nick Frost playing the captain of a spaceship, and Garth Marenghi’s Dark Place (which needs no description, mainly because it’s difficult to give one, so I recommend you watch it and find out for yourself. And why not? It is free after all).

Who would have thought a fight between two companies putting shows out on our telly box would have resulted in such a good thing?

We have all this great TV at our fingertips, to watch whenever the fancy takes us.

Perhaps this is a sign of things to come. Perhaps one day there will no longer be TV schedules and we will all just be able to choose what we want to watch and when, and adverts will become a thing of the past (which is another great bonus of watching something from Virgin or Sky On Demand – no ads!).

The only problem with TV on demand is that they will have a whole series of a programme up to watch, you watch them all and then are stuck for what to do next. But it’s not all bad, because you can always start watching something else until the programmes are updated. New things are added all the time so you will never totally run out of good things to watch. So if ever you are sitting watching something great on telly for free and that you can pause – then say a little thank you to Virgin and Sky for being childish and trying to outdo each other!

48 latest 7

Movies on the box this week

TUESDAY 10

WEDNESDAY 11 Alias

10–16 Apr

(2001, Five, 9pm. Dir Robert Luketic ) Proof that blondes have more fun, Reese Witherspoon is brilliant as a dumb blonde who proves her chops by bluffing her way into Harvard Law School. The culture clash comedy may be predictable, but that doesn’t stop it being a very funny movie.

MC

I Capture The Castle ★★★★✩ (2003, BBC2, 6.40pm. Dir Tim Fywell) Welcome to English Bohemia: blocked writer James (Bill Nighy) rents a tumbledown property in search of his muse and drags his family along for the ride. Based on a novel by Dodie Smith this is a cosy, competent family drama with period detail to spare.

MC

SUNDAY 15 A Clockwork Orange ★★★★✩ (1971, Channel 4, 10.55pm.

Dir Stanley Kubrick) Anthony Burgess’ satiric story of a delinquent with a passion for ultra violence may be tame by today’s standards, but still has a nasty misogynistic streak. Malcolm McDowell is startling as the young man in question on what was a gruelling shoot – he managed to crack his ribs and injure his eye during filming.

MC

THURSDAY 12 Holy Smoke ★★★✩✩ (1999, Channel 4, 1.10am.

Dir Jane Campion) Kate Winslet puts her soul (and much of her body) into a curious movie about cult deprogramming.

She plays an Aussie in India philosophically and sexually matching up to deprogrammer Harvey Keitel in a battle of wills MC

FRIDAY 13 Death In Venice ★★★★✩ (1971, BBC2, 12.05am. Dir Luchino Visconti) A treat for cinephiles and lovers of Mahler (whose sombre sounds pervade the action) Visconti’s atmospheric adaptation of Thomas Mann’s philosophical novella is slow burning, but worth staying up for.

Pretentious it may be, but you’d have to have a heart of stone not to fall under its hypnotising spell.

MC

Bombón El Perro ★★★★✩ (2004, Sky Movies Indie, 4pm.

Dir Carlos Sorin) A shaggy dog story set in Patagonia, this story of a man caught on the downside of a depressed society is an understated delight. Suddenly fired from his job at a service station he ends up being given Bombón, the dog of the title, from a woman he helps at the roadside. But will his new canine friend help his fortunes? A concise road movie with elegant touches.

MC

MONDAY 16 Pollock ★★★✩✩ (2000, BBC2, 11.50pm. Dir Ed Harris) A labour of love for director and star, Pollock attempts to condense all the most exciting bits of the American abstract expressionist’s life into two hours of affairs, boozing and hissy fits.

Harris gives a macho performance suggesting a man who never found peace in his lifetime.

MC

049_LS316_TV_Tue10.qxd

4/4/07

5:40 PM

Page 1

tuesday 10 The World’s Worst Sex Change Surgeon Channel 4, 10pm There are some things in life you really do want done properly and having a sex change has to be one of them (unless you really are a sucker for punishment). Yet some people were mad and/or desperate enough to be operated on by one John Ronald ‘Butcher’ Brown. Ouch.

ONE Life BBC1, 10.35pm The Thames, we discover, is a hotbed of illegal activity. From absconding suspects attempting escape, to a dumped, weighteddown bag containing saws, and a body in a canal. Luckily we have the Marine Support Unit, 80 police officers in ten speedboats who patrol a 50 mile stretch for our safety.

Racism: A History BBC4, 11.50pm Blatant or institutionalised, racism rears its ugly head in the most and least obvious places.

Perhaps if we were more educated in the history of this most unpleasant characteristic of humanity, it might be better eradicated. This episode deals with the when, where and why of the origins of racism.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Animal 24:7 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.45 Car Booty 12.15pm Cash In The Attic 1.00 BBC News 1.30 Regional News 1.40 Neighbours 2.05 Doctors 2.35 Diagnosis Murder 3.20 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3.25 Lazytown 3.50 The Cramp Twins 4.00 50/50 4.30 The Slammer 5.00 Blue Peter 5.25 Newsround 5.35 Neighbours

6.00am Fimbles 6.25 The Story Makers 6.35 Balamory 7.00 In The Night Garden 7.30 Mama Mirabelle’s Home Movies 7.45 Tommy Zoom 8.00 Do Something Different 8.45 Arthur 9.10 Mona The Vampire 9.35 Watch My Chops 10.00 Best Of Friends 10.30 The Likeaballs 10.45 Wee Gems 11.00 FILM: Pete’s Dragon (1977) 12.40pm Dangermouse 1.00 Animal Park 2.00 Escape To The Country 3.00 Through The Keyhole 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Ready Steady Cook 5.15 The Weakest Link

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 2.00 Midsomer Murders 3.00 Daily Cooks 4.00 Rosemary And Thyme 5.00 Soapstar Superchef

6.10am The Hoobs (x2) 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.25 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.55 Just Shoot Me (x2) 8.55 The OC 9.55 Friends (x2) 10.55 Gwen Stefani: Live In Concert 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 Sunshine 1.00 FILM: At Gunpoint (1955) 2.25 Life Begins Again 3.30 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The New Paul O’Grady Show

6.00am Soccer AM: The Best Bits 7.00 WWE Afterburn 8.00 Cricket World Cup 9.00 Football League 10.00 Football First: Match Choice (x2) 1.00pm Cricket World Cup 2.00 LIVE Cricket World Cup 11.00 Revista De La Liga 12.00am FA Cup Classics 12.30 Super League 2.30 Revista De La Liga 3.30 FA Cup Classics 4.00 Close

6.00 Eggheads 6.30 Great British Menu Last year’s winner Bryn Williams, from North Wales, continues the competition against Matt Tebbutt from South Wales, this time with a fish course.

7.00 The Apprentice The teams are set the task of designing a new dog accessory to pitch to pet stores across London.

8.00 The Underdog Show Celebrities are paired up in a Cruftsstyle competition with untrained and previously unloved rescue dogs.

Could be easy to confuse with program before.

9.00 Horizon Man is returning to the moon. And this time he’s planning on staying.

9.50 One Man And His Honey Bees Devoted beekeeper Gerald Fisher talks about the sweet stuff.

10.00 The Underdog Show Woof.

10.30 Newsnight 11.20 John Buchan: Master Of Suspense Unfairly known as a onehit wonder for his noirish novel, The Thirty Nine steps, this dramadocumentary tells the story of the real John Buchan.

12.20am FILM: Pinero (2001) Biographical drama about Miguel Pinero, playwright and larger-than-life figure in the 1970s New York art scene.

2.00 GCSE Bitesize Revision (x2)

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Carrie enjoys getting one over on Matthew. Gray makes it clear that he’ll choose Perdy over Rosemary. Belle confesses to Turner that she sabotaged the pageant.

7.30 UEFA Champions League Live Steve Rider presents live coverage of one of tonight’s quarter-final, secondleg ties featuring Premiership clubs either Manchester United v Roma at Old Trafford, or Valencia v Chelsea from the Mestalla. Steve is joined by Andy Townsend and Robbie Earle for analysis of the action, and commentary comes from Clive Tyldesley and David Pleat.

10.00 Marbella Belles It’s a bad day at the office for Louise Marriott when an interview with a hairdresser for her new salon doesn’t go to plan.

Jo Alexandrou has a fun day out shopping in Gibraltar, and Lisa Johnson does a day’s work for the first time in seven years - then reveals some extra special news that’s not worth missing.

10.30 ITV News; Weather 11.00 UEFA Champions League Highlights 12.00am ITV Play: Glitterball 4.05 Hallowe’en Forever Old school rock.

5.00 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.00am Tickle, Patch And Friends 6.25 Franny’s Feet 6.40 The Clangers 6.45 Funky Town 6.50 The Milkshake! Show 7.20 The Beeps 7.30 Little Princess 7.45 Noddy 8.00 Fifi 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas 8.40 Old Bear Stories 8.50 Mio Mao 9.00 Funky Valley 9.05 House Doctor 9.35 Britain’s Worst Pet 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 Five News 12.00pm Home And Away 12.30 Greatest Ever... Machines 1.30 Postcards 1.40 FILM: Borrowed Hearts (1997) 3.40 FILM: More Than Meets The Eye: The Joan Brock Story (2003) 5.30 Five News 6.00 Home And Away 6.30 Two And A Half Men Judith is dating Jake’s paediatrician.

7.00 Five News 7.15 Big Ideas That Changed The World Jonathon Porritt, co-founder of the Green Party and former chairman of Friends of the Earth, examine consumerism.

8.00 The Roswell Incident: The True Story Another attempt to get to the bottom of the Roswell UFO incident.

9.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Four unidentified women murdered over 30 years.

10.00 CSI: Miami Drugs and guns prove as always a potent combination.

11.00 Law And Order: Special Victims Unit An officer’s wife charges him with rape, but both she and her husband have very different accounts of the events.

12.00am Arrest And Trial Police investigate a string of bank robberies in Albuquerque committed by a man dressed in a black Ninja-style outfit.

12.25 Arrest And Trial. A priest reports a burglary at his home, in which several precious religious artefacts were taken. A year later, an identical incident is reported by the priest and investigators suspect fraud.

12.50 NBA Action 4.20 Now Is The Time: Kickboxing

6.00 BBC News And Weather 6.30 South East Today; Weather 7.00 Castaway Brits learn to survive on an island off the New Zealand coast.

7.30 EastEnders Dot is determined to keep Thomas safe.

8.00 Holby City Jac is desperate to get involved with pioneering telesurgery that’s taking place at Holby led by Lord Byrne.

9.00 Life On Mars When CID hear of a dead miner, all roads lead to the notorious cop killer Leslie Johns.

They learn that the killing resulted from a fall-out over a planned heist, and by going undercover on the heist, they can catch the killer. But events unfold disastrously as CID begin to learn the truth about Sam just as the heist is in progress.

10.00 BBC News 10.35 ONE Life See highlights.

11.15 Cricket World Cup Highlights Super 8 stage of the World Cup. 12.15am FILM: Freebie And The Bean (1974) San Francisco. Two cop team.

2.10 Sign Zone: See Hear 2.55 Hairy Bikers Ride Again 3.25 An Island Parish 3.55 Beat The Bailiff 4.40 BBC News 24 5.00 Cricket World Cup

6.00 The Simpsons Homer enrols in clown college.

6.30 Hollyoaks 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder: The Hunt A truffle hunt.

8.00 Selling Houses Abroad Expats with too much money and too little sense.

9.00 Get Your Act Together With Harvey Goldsmith Popular in Eastern Europe and South America (isn’t everybody?), British metal veterans Saxon are struggling to attract an audience in the UK with their outmoded image and sound. But Harvey has his work cut out in trying to persuade head honcho Biff Byford that a change in direction is crucial for the band’s future. I can see them now in push up bras singing radio friendly cheese. Really.

10.00 The World’s Worst Sex Change Surgeon See highlights.

11.05 Kidnapped 12.45am PartyPoker.com 1.45 Velux 5 Oceans Ultimate Solo Challenge 2.15 KOTV Classics 3.10 Freesports On 4 3.40 Water Stories 3.45 Monster Garage 4.45 3 Minute Wonder: City Of Cranes 4.50 Countdown 5.35 Treats From The Edwardian Country House

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics Oz Style 6.30 High Altitude 7.00 Aerobics Oz Style 7.30 FA Cup Classics 8.00 Fishing: Bass Fishing 9.00 High Altitude 9.30 British Superbikes 12.30pm Speedway: Elite League 2.30 FA Cup Classics 3.00 Football First: Match Choice (x2) 6.00 FA Cup Classics 6.30 Revista De La Liga 7.30 Johnny Mowlem’s Racing Travels 8.00 LIVE Super League 10.00 Poker: Sports Stars Challenge 12.00am Tennis: Davis Cup 2007 1.00 Surfing 2.00 Fishing: Bass Fishing 3.00 Close

Sky Sports 3 7.00am Speedway: Elite League 9.00 The Premiership Years 11.00 Aerobics Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Masters Football: Central Masters 3.00 The Premiership Years 5.00 WWE Smackdown 7.00 Wild Spirits 7.30 LIVE Greyhounds 10.00 Sports Unlimited 11.00 Masters Football: Central Masters 2.00am Sports Unlimited 3.00 Johnny Mowlem’s Racing Travels 3.30 Close

Miranda Glavin

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

4.00pm Stargate SG-1 (x2) 6.00 Stargate Atlantis 7.00 The Simpsons (x4) 9.00 Battlestar Galactica 10.00 Street Wars 11.00 Cold Case 12.00am Brainiac: Science Abuse 1.00 Red Light Girls 1.50 Temptation Island (x2) 3.30 101 Things Removed From The Human Body 4.20 Star Trek: Voyager (x2)

7.00pm Spendaholics Saved My Life 8.00 TV Gaffes Galore 9.00 Panic Room 10.00 EastEnders 10.25 Ideal 10.55 Family Guy (x2) 11.40 Two Pints Of Lager & A Packet Of Crisps (x2) 12.40am Panic Room 1.40 Ideal 2.10 Two Pints Of Lager (x2) 3.10 My Man Boobs And Me 4.10 Close

7.00pm Arena: The Underground 8.00 The World 8.30 Never Mind The Full Stops 9.00 The Big Fat Art Of Fernando Botero 10.00 Five Days 11.00 Spiral 11.50 Racism: A History. See highlights. 12.50am The Big Fat Art Of Fernando Botero 1.50 Never Mind The Full Stops 2.20 Racism: A History 3.20 The Big Fat Art

1.30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.40 The Ricki Lake Show 4.30 Sally Jessy Raphael 5.15 Airline USA 5.45 Judge Judy 7.00 Planet’s Funniest Animals 7.30 American Idol (x2) 9.00 WAGs Boutique 10.00 FILM: Scary Movie (2000) 11.45 FILM: Van Helsing (2004) 2.10am ITV Play: Glitterball 4.00 Teleshopping

2.30pm Tales Of The Unexpected 3.00 Pie In The Sky 4.05 Cagney And Lacey 5.05 Rising Damp 5.35 Quantum Leap 6.40 Movies Now 6.50 Lovejoy 8.00 The Bill 9.00 City Lights 10.00 Inspector Wexford: No More Dying Then 12.15am Lovejoy 1.15 Robin Of Sherwood 2.10 Dandelion Dead 4.00 Teleshopping

7.00pm Hollyoaks 7.30 The War At Home 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 The OC 10.00 Get Your Act Together: The Showdown 10.30 Sex In Court 11.05 Bring Back...

The A Team 12.20am Scrubs (x2) 1.15 Smallville: Superman The Early Years 2.05 Get Your Act Together: The Showdown 2.30 Sex In Court

5.50pm 3 Minute Wonder: Mouthing Off (x3) 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 More4 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares 10.00 Mark Of Cain 11.50 NYPD Blue 12.45am The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 1.15 Countdown 2.00 Close

7.00pm The X Files 8.00 The Real Extras 9.00 New Most Haunted 10.00 Outrageous Fortune 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am The X Files 1.00 New Most Haunted 2.00 The L Word 3.00 Veronica Mars 3.50 Gastineau Girls (x2) 4.40 6ixth Sense With Colin Fry (x2) 5.30 Home Shopping

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

4.55pm FILM: Carry On England (1976) 6.40 Only Fools And Horses 7.45 FILM: Shanghai Noon (2000) 9.55 Sharpe 12.00am Men Behaving Badly (x2) 1.20 Room 101 1.55 Have I Got 2001 For You 2.25 Men Behaving Badly 2.55 Wogan: Now And Then 3.45 The House Of Eliott (x2) 5.35 Neighbours

7.00pm Scrubs (x2) 8.00 That 70s Show (x2) 9.00 Scrubs (x2) 10.00 Sex And The City 10.35 South Park (x2) 11.35 The World Stands Up 12.05am Live In Brighton 1.05 Sex And The City 1.40 Badly Dubbed Porn 2.10 Sexy Cam 2.30 South Park (x2) 4.00 Scrubs (x2) 5.00 Sir Leslie Quint: A Life In Film (x2) 5.10 That 70s Show (x2)

7.00pm Mythbusters 8.00 How Do They Do It? (x2) 9.00 Deadliest Catch 10.00 World’s Lost Tribes 11.00 Crimes That Shook The World 12.00am The FBI Files 1.00 Guilty Or Innocent? 2.00 Forensic Detectives 3.00 World’s Lost Tribes 3.50 Deadliest Catch (x2) 5.30 How It’s Made

5.00pm Tru Calling 6.00 The Lost World 7.00 Roswell 8.00 Tru Calling 9.00 FILM: Black Knight (2001) 10.50 Medium 11.50 FILM: Emmanuelle’s Private Collection: Emmanuelle Vs Dracula (2004) 1.40am FILM: Retroactive (1997) 3.30 Psychic Detectives 4.00 Star Trek 5.00 The Lost World

1.30pm Vertigo (1958) 3.40 Classics Close Up 4.05 Around The World In 80 Days (1956) 7.00 The Ipcress File (1965) 9.00 Vertigo (1958) 11.15 Guadalcanal Diary (1943) 1.00am I Want To Live!

(1958) 3.10 Look Back In Anger (1958) 5.00 Modern Times (1936)

4.00pm House Of Flying Daggers (2004) 6.00 Blue Planet 6.50 Rice Rhapsody (2004) 8.40 Lai See (2007) 9.00 House Of Flying Daggers (2004) 11.00 Broken Flowers (2005) 12.55am 5 X 2: Cinq Fois Deux (2004) 2.40 The Making Of Curse Of The Golden Flower 3.00 Blue Planet 4.00 Close

1.00pm Call Me Madam (1953) 3.15 Double Indemnity (1944) 5.20 Fathom (1967) 7.15 An Ideal Husband (1999) 9.00 Austin Powers: International Man Of Mystery (1997) 10.45 The Opposite Of Sex (1998) 12.40am Breaking The Waves (1996) 3.45 Close

11.00am Jezebel (1938) 1.00pm San Antonio (1945) 3.00 The Band Wagon (1953) 5.05 Interrupted Melody (1955) 7.05 Green Mansions (1959) 9.00 Stella (1989) 11.10 Betrayed (1954) 1.15am The Password Is Courage (1962) 3.25 Pick A Star (1937) 4.45 Teleshopping 5.00 The Main Attraction (1962)

Classics

Indie

050_LS316_TV_Wed11.qxd

4/4/07

5:41 PM

Page 1

wednesday 11 Shopping The Supermarkets BBC1, 7.30pm National TV comes to Brighton and Hove to discover what role food, and how we buy it, have in this ecological climate change time bomb. Two families take part in a shop swap challenge to see how green you can really be while still using a supermarket and a local producer also gets in on the act.

The Charlotte Church Show Channel 4, 12.10pm Britain’s very own bootlylicious and once very public teenage wreck head (now mama to be) brings on the girl power tonight.

First up Charlotte is joined by Katie ‘Jordan’ Price followed by Black Eyed Peas singer and excrack addict Fergie. Both should give her a run for her smart mouth.

Travels With My Camera More4, 10.30pm Journalist and pro-choice advocate Miranda Sawyer embarks on a trip through the heart of America’s Bible belt to discover a different insight into the thorny subject of abortion. A highly emotionally charged issue for many. Surprisingly Louis Theroux hasn’t yet braved facing this one.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Animal 24:7 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.45 Car Booty 12.15pm Cash In The Attic 1.00 BBC News; Weather 1.30 Regional News 1.40 Neighbours 2.05 Doctors 2.35 Diagnosis Murder 3.20 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3.25 Lazytown 3.50 The Cramp Twins 4.00 50/50 4.30 The Slammer 5.00 Blue Peter 5.25 Newsround 5.35 Neighbours

6.00am Fimbles 6.25 The Story Makers 6.35 Balamory 7.00 In The Night Garden 7.30 Mama Mirabelle’s Home Movies 7.45 Tommy Zoom 8.00 Do Something Different 8.45 Arthur 9.10 Mona The Vampire 9.35 Watch My Chops 10.00 Best Of Friends 10.30 Bring It On 11.00 FILM: The Brainiacs.com (2000) 12.35pm Dangermouse 1.00 Animal Park 2.00 Escape To The Country 3.00 Through The Keyhole 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Ready Steady Cook 5.15 The Weakest Link

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 2.00 Midsomer Murders 3.00 Daily Cooks 4.00 Rosemary And Thyme 5.00 Soapstar Superchef

6.05am Making It 6.10 The Hoobs (x2) 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Just Shoot Me (x2) 8.55 The OC 9.55 Friends (x2) 10.55 High School Dance 12.00pm News At Noon 2.30 FILM: Africa - Texas Style (1967) 2.25 Life Begins Again 3.30 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The New Paul O’Grady Show

6.00am Revista De La Liga 7.00 WWE Heat 8.00 Cricket World Cup 9.00 Revista De La Liga 10.00 Cricket World Cup 11.00 Super League 1.00pm Cricket World Cup 2.00 LIVE Cricket World Cup 7.00 LIVE Football: UEFA Champions League 10.30 You’re On Sky Sports 11.30 FA Cup Classics 12.00am Trans World Sport 1.00 Poker: Sports Stars Challenge 3.00 FA Cup Classics 3.30 You’re On Sky Sports 4.30 Close

6.00 Eggheads 6.30 Great British Menu Food glorious food.

7.00 Wild Mallorca A unique island tour of the Mediterranean’s Galapagos, seen through the eyes of local people and full of the rare wildlife they are helping to protect.

7.30 Rick Stein’s Food Heroes: Another Helping Rick visits his favourite local fish market in Looe.

8.00 Neneh And Andi Dish It Up On the menu are 100 garlic chickens.

8.30 Sweet Baby James Chef James Martin shares his love of puddings .

9.00 Natural World Film narrated by David Attenborough investigating why the Indian Tiger is in trouble.

9.50 Dancing Cranes Of Sweden Wildlife documentary. Each year in the heart of southern Sweden, a special lake hosts a natural spectacle. 10,000 migrating cranes stop off to dance in the melting snow.

10.00 The Apprentice: You’re Fired 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Adventure For Boys: The Lost Worlds Of Rider Haggard Documentary looking at the work of adventure writer Henry Rider Haggard, most famous today for his novel King Solomon’s Mines.

12.20am FILM: The Adventures Of Barry McKenzie (1972) An Aussie collides with Blighty.

2.00 BBC Schools: GCSE

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Carl confronts Carrie about sleeping with him and his dad.

7.30 Coronation Street Eileen spills the beans about Holly - but how will Jason react?

8.00 The Bill After spending the night at an hotel with her married lover, Gina is shocked when his wife appears at Sun Hill asking for help.

9.00 City Lights As part of the witness protection programme, the Armstrongs and the Scotts assume new identities as the Shearers and the Carrs, and are relocated to a safe house in London.

10.00 Get A Grip This week Ben and Alexa consider the alienation of men in society. Have they lost their way?

Are they now irrelevant in the home?

Are they failing in relationships? Are they in fact just a little bit rubbish and shortly to be replaced by turkey basters? Perhaps a little below the belt - but then that only really hurts men doesn’t it?

10.30 ITV News; Weather 11.00 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 11.35 Jade Jagger’s Orange Playlist This week Jayne Middlemiss meets model, designer and glamorous Rolling Stones offspring, Jade Jagger.

12.00am ITV Play: Glitterball 4.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 5.00 ITV Nightscreen

6.00am Tickle, Patch And Friends 6.25 Franny’s Feet 6.40 Clangers 6.45 Funky Town 6.50 The Milkshake Show 7.20 The Beeps 7.30 Little Princess 7.45 Noddy 8.00 Fifi 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.40 Old Bear Stories 8.50 Mio Mao 9.00 Funky Valley 9.05 House Doctor 9.35 Britain’s Worst Pet 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 Five News 12.00pm Home And Away 12.30 Greatest Ever... Machines 1.30 FILM: Midnight Lace (1960) 3.35 FILM: Columbo And The Murder Of A Rock Star (1991) 5.30 Five News 6.00 Home And Away 6.30 Two And A Half Men 7.00 Five News .

7.15 Lemur Island A drought tests the endurance of the lemurs and strains the fabric of their society.

8.00 I Know What You Ate Last Summer Six overweight British teenagers undergo a pioneering wilderness weight-loss course in California. Two weeks into the weight-loss course and there’s shock, temptation and pain.

9.00 FILM: Legally Blonde (2001) Starring Reese Witherspoon, Luke Wilson, Selma Blair, Matthew Davis, Victor Garber, Jennifer Coolidge, Raquel Welch and Holland Taylor. A gorgeous West Coast airhead is dumped by her East Coast boyfriend when he heads for Harvard’s graduate law school so, determined to get him back, she enrols too.

Inane, fairly empty yet easily digestible. The marshmallow of celluloid.

11.00 Disorderly Conduct US documentary series featuring footage of real-life car crashes, drug busts and high-speed pursuits.

12.00am PartyPoker.com European Open III 1.30 Major League Baseball 4.30 Boxing Classic 5.10 Race And Rally UK 5.35 Motorsport Mundial

6.00 BBC News And Weather 6.30 South East Today; Weather 7.00 Airport 7.30 Shopping The Supermarkets See highlights.

8.00 Watchdog 8.30 Car Wars Documentary series following Manchester’s specialist car crime squad on the trail of the gangs who steal expensive cars and then sell them on to unsuspecting buyers.

9.00 The Apprentice They have just one day to start a business from scratch and make as much money as they can.

10.00 BBC News 10.35 The National Lottery Draws 10.45 Dog House Five unruly, disruptive teenagers embark on an emotional journey of transformation, learning how to train assistance dogs for disabled people. Or, if all else fails, set the dogs on them.

11.25 Cricket World Cup Highlights 12.25am FILM: Final Jeopardy (2001) Drama in which a female DA is given police protection when a movie actress is shot dead outside her summer home.

1.55 Sign Zone: Jimmy’s Diaries 2.25 The Retreat 3.25 My Life As A Child 3.55 Beat The Bailiff 4.40 Joins BBC News 24 5.00 Cricket World Cup Highlights

6.00 The Simpsons Bart gets his hand stuck down the toilet. Obviously he didn’t listen to the ‘try everything once except putting your head down the loo’ advice.

6.30 Hollyoaks 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder: The Hunt There’s a moose loose.

8.00 Property Ladder The sublime Sarah tackles two separate cases of parents looking for a clever way of funding their children’s university fees.

9.00 Grand Designs Art Deco enthusiasts Andrew and Helen Berry plan to renovate their Surrey home to incorporate classic 1930s designs, while still retaining certain contemporary features like solar panels.

10.00 Desperate Housewives 11.05 Gordon Ramsay’s F Word 12.10am The Charlotte Church Show See highlights.

1.00 How To Cope With Rejection Short film directed and starring Chris Waitt. Booze, booze and...booze.

1.05 The War At Home (x2) 2.00 The Osbournes (x2) 2.50 Bob And Margaret 3.20 3 Minute Wonder 3.25 The Jamie Kennedy Experiment 3.50 3 Minute Wonder 3.55 Wild Things 4.45 Countdown 5.30 Edwardian Country House

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics Oz Style 6.30 High Altitude 7.00 Aerobics Oz Style 7.30 FA Cup Classics 8.00 Surfing 9.00 High Altitude 9.30 Johnny Mowlem’s Racing Travels 10.00 Poker: Sports Stars Challenge 12.00pm Tennis: Davis Cup 2007 1.00 Revista De La Liga 2.00 FA Cup Classics 2.30 Football: UEFA Champions League (x8) 6.30 FA Cup Classics 7.00 European Tour Weekly 7.30 LIVE Football: UEFA Champions League 10.00 Total Rugby 10.30 European Tour Weekly 11.00 Pool: World Cup Of Pool 12.00am Total Rugby 12.30 European Tour Weekly 1.00 Watersports World 2.00 Close

Sky Sports 3 7.00am Rally Fever 8.00 Tennis: Davis Cup 2007 9.00 The Premiership Years 11.00 Aerobics Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Masters Football 3.00 The Premiership Years 5.00 WWE The Bottom Line 6.00 WWE Afterburn 7.00 LIVE Cricket World Cup 11.00 Masters Football 2.00am Close

Miranda Glavin

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

3.00pm Brainiac: Science Abuse 4.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 6.00 Stargate Atlantis 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Futurama (x2) 9.00 The Dresden Files 10.00 Lost 11.00 Cold Case 12.00am Brainiac: Science Abuse 1.00 I’m Still Alive 1.50 Temptation Island (x2) 3.30 When Sharks Attack 4.20 Star Trek: Voyager (x2)

7.00pm Castaway 7.30 Conning The Conmen 8.00 Wedding Stories 9.00 Lucy: Teen Transsexual 10.00 FILM: Lake Placid (1999) 11.15 Two Pints Of Lager & A Packet Of Crisps (x2) 12.15am American Dad (x2) 1.00 Lucy: Teen Transsexual 2.00 Castaway 2.30 Two Pints Of Lager (x2) 3.25 F*** Off I’m A Hairy Woman

7.00pm Child Of Our Time 8.00 The World 8.30 Thoroughly Modern Antiques 9.00 Life On Mars 10.00 Five Days 11.00 Spiral 11.50 Racism: A History 12.50am Tales From The Front Room 1.50 First Rites - From The Cradle To The Prom: Timeshift 2.50 Thoroughly Modern Antiques

1.30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.40 The Ricki Lake Show 4.25 Sally Jessy Raphael 5.15 Airline USA 5.45 Judge Judy 7.00 Planet’s Funniest Animals 7.30 FILM: Van Helsing (2004) 10.00 Deadline 11.00 Coronation Street 11.30 FILM: Hulk (2002) 1.55am Deadline 2.55 ITV Play: Glitterball 4.00 Teleshopping

5.05pm Rising Damp 5.35 Quantum Leap 6.40 Film File 6.50 Lovejoy 8.00 Bramwell 9.00 Rising Damp 9.35 FILM: Fierce Creatures (1997) 11.25 Lovejoy 12.30am Heartbeat 1.30 The Beiderbecke Connection 2.25 Ulysees S Grant 3.25 Tales Of The Unexpected 3.55 Film File 4.00 Teleshopping

7.00pm Hollyoaks 7.30 The War At Home 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Ugly Betty 10.00 Miss Match 11.00 Desperate Housewives 12.00am Scrubs (x2) 12.55 Smallville: Superman The Early Years 1.45 Miss Match 2.30 The War At Home 2.50 Porn: A Family Business (x2) 3.45 Switched 4.10 One Tree Hill

5.50pm 3 Minute Wonder (x3) 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 More4 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 Shrink Rap 10.00 Grand Designs: Trade Secrets 10.30 Travels With My Camera. See highlights.

11.40 NYPD Blue 12.40am The Daily Show With Jon Stewart

7.00pm The X Files 8.00 America’s Next Top Model 9.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 10.00 Criminal Minds 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am The X Files 1.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 2.00 The L Word 3.00 Veronica Mars 3.50 Gastineau Girls (x2) 4.40 6ixth Sense With Colin Fry (x2) 5.30 Home Shopping

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

12.00pm Doctor Who 1.00 Sharpe 3.05 Sharpe 5.15 FILM: Carry On At Your Convenience (1971) 7.00 Porridge (x3) 9.00 Dalziel And Pascoe 11.20 Men Behaving Badly (x2) 12.40 Dalziel And Pascoe 2.50 Wogan: Now And Then 3.40 Icons 3.45 The House Of Eliott (x2) 5.35 Neighbours

7.00pm Scrubs (x2) 8.00 That 70s Show (x2) 9.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 10.00 Sex And The City 10.35 South Park (x2) 11.35 The World Stands Up 12.05am Stop You’re Killing Me 1.20 Sex And The City 1.55 South Park (x2) 2.55 Sexy Cam (x2) 3.30 Linc’s 4.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2)

7.00pm Mythbusters 8.00 How Do They Do It? 8.30 How It’s Made 9.00 How Do They Do It? (x2) 10.00 Big Machines 11.00 Oil, Sweat And Rigs 12.00am The FBI Files 1.00 Crimes That Shook The World 2.00 Forensic Detectives 3.00 Big Machines 3.50 How Do They Do It? (x2) 4.40 Deadliest Catch 5.30 How It’s Made

5.00pm Tru Calling 6.00 The Lost World 7.00 Roswell 8.00 Tru Calling 9.00 Heroes 10.00 FILM: Wing Commander (1999) 11.55 Erotic Misadventures Of The Invisible Man 1.45am FILM: Shadow Of The Vampire (2000) 3.25 Psychic Detectives 4.00 Star Trek 5.00 The Lost World

4.45pm 12 Angry Men (1957) 6.25 McLintock!

(1963) 8.35 Classics Close Up 9.00 Hell In The Pacific (1968) 10.45 The Life And Times Of Judge Roy Bean (1972) 12.55am The Pit And The Pendulum (1961) 2.40 Guns Of August (1964) 4.40 The Earth Dies Screaming (1964)

2.00pm Les Diaboliques (1955) 4.00 The Portrait Of A Lady (1996) 6.25 The Dream Is Alive 7.15 WalMart: The High Cost Of Low Price 9.00 The Portrait Of A Lady (1996) 11.25 I Heart Huckabees (2004) 1.15am Les Diaboliques (1955) 3.15 The Dream Is Alive 4.00 Close

1.00pm Double Indemnity (1944) 3.05 The Maverick Queen (1956) 4.50 Cheaper

By The Dozen (1950) 6.30 King Kong (1976) Try and not weep as the big gentle giant is cruelly manhandle by us lesser mortals. 9.00 We Were Soldiers (2002) 11.35 Orphans (1997) 1.35am Focus (2001) 3.50 Close

12.50pm Rhapsody (1954) 3.00 Woman Of The Year (1942) 5.05 That’s Dancing!

(1985) 7.05 The Wheeler Dealers (1963) 9.00 The Long Kiss Goodnight (1996) 11.15 Act Of Violence (1948) 12.50am Escape From East Berlin (1962) 2.35 The Sea Hawk (1940) 4.45 Teleshopping 5.00 Tarzan The Ape Man (1932)

Classics

Indie

051_L7316_TV_Thu12.qxd

4/4/07

4:13 PM

Page 1

thursday 12 My Life As A Child BBC2, 7pm Series made by children aged between seven and 11 who were given a camera and recorded their lives over several months.

Amy (11) from Swansea is having a rubbish year and Adam (11) from East Sussex dares anyone to mess with his younger sister. If only we'd had these opportunities in my day.

Longford Channel 4, 9pm Lord Longford (Jim Broadbent) was a devout Catholic and dedicated prison visitor, whose liberal views courted controversy in the government and national press. Especially when he campaigned to win parole for Moors murderess Myra Hindley, expertly and creepily played by Samantha Morton.

The Bulls*** Detective BBC3, 9pm Alasdair Jeffreys is a man with a mission: to expose, confront and mock the false and those that perpetrate it. Here he's on the trail of bottled water, crystal healing, and goes undercover to see if it’s possible to buy a bargain holiday for the price in the window. Watch out all you phoneys!

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Animal 24:7 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.45 Car Booty 12.15pm Cash In The Attic 1.00 BBC News; Weather 1.30 Regional News And Weather 1.40 Neighbours 2.05 Doctors 2.35 Diagnosis Murder 3.20 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3.25 Lazytown 3.50 The Cramp Twins 4.00 50/50 4.30 The Underdog Show On CBBC 5.00 Blue Peter 5.25 Newsround 5.35 Neighbours

6.00am Fimbles 6.25 The Story Makers 6.35 Balamory 7.00 In The Night Garden 7.30 Mama Mirabelle’s Home Movies 7.45 Tommy Zoom 8.00 Do Something Different 8.45 Arthur 9.10 Mona The Vampire 9.35 Watch My Chops 10.00 Best Of Friends 10.30 Bring It On 11.00 FILM: Pokemon 4 Ever - Celebi The Voice Of The Forest (2002) 12.20pm Dangermouse 12.45 Animal Park 1.45 Racing From Aintree 4.45 Flog It! 5.15 The Weakest Link

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 2.00 Midsomer Murders 3.00 Daily Cooks 4.00 Rosemary And Thyme 5.00 Soapstar Superchef

6.00am The Treacle People 6.10 The Hoobs (x2) 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Just Shoot Me (x2) 8.55 The OC 9.55 Friends (x2) 10.55 High School Dance 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 FILM: The Hot Rock (1972) 2.25 Life Begins Again 3.30 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The New Paul O’Grady Show

6.00am Tickle, Patch And Friends 6.25 Franny’s Feet 6.40 The Clangers 6.45 Funky Town 6.50 The Milkshake!

Show 7.20 The Beeps 7.30 Little Princess 7.45 Noddy 8.00 Fifi 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas 8.40 Old Bear Stories 8.50 Mio Mao 9.00 Funky Valley 9.05 House Doctor 9.35 Britain’s Worst Pet 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 Five News 12.00pm Home And Away 12.30 Greatest Ever... Machines 1.30 FILM: Deadly Encounter (1982) 3.30 FILM: Triumph Over Disaster: The Hurricane Andrew Story (1993) 5.30 Five News 6.00 Home And Away 6.30 Two And A Half Men 7.00 Five News 7.15 How Not To Decorate Or staple gun your hands together.

8.00 Ann Maurice: Interior Rivalry House Doctor Ann Maurice oversees a contest to choose a top new interior-design talent. For their fourth challenge, the would-be designers must redesign some luxury apartments at Princess Park Manor, a Victorian building in north London.

9.00 House US hospital drama about a maverick, anti-social New Jersey doctor. Believably Americanised House and his team treat an autistic boy whose only apparent symptom is uncontrollable screaming.

Meanwhile, House refuses to work in his office until Cuddy returns his blood-stained carpet.

10.00 Shark US drama about a charismatic former defence attorney who switches sides by joining the prosecutor’s office. A double murder leads to a corrupt private investigator who threatens to unearth secrets from Sharks past.

11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am Football Night 1.00 Quiz Call 4.00 Dutch Football 5.10 Football Argentina Highlights

6.00am You’re On Sky Sports 7.00 LIVE European Tour Golf 10.00 Cricket World Cup 11.00 Trans World Sport 12.00pm Total Rugby 12.30 FA Cup Classics 1.00 Cricket World Cup 2.00 LIVE Cricket World Cup 11.00 Football League Review 12.00am FA Cup Classics 12.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 1.00 Darts: Premier League 4.30 FA Cup Classics 5.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 5.30 Close

6.00 BBC News And Weather 6.30 South East Today; Weather 7.00 Castaway Danny drops in on the castaways’ camp to deliver another predicament.

7.30 EastEnders Jim makes his feelings very clear to Dot. 8.00 Waterloo Road Lorna plays cupid by taking Tom and Izzie away for a surprise treat in the countryside.

9.00 Hotel Babylon Babylon suffers a hostile takeover bid from the dictatorial head of a rival chain.

Rebecca is told she can keep two of her management team and must sack the rest.

10.00 BBC News 10.35 Rough Justice Five apprentice lawyers are set the task of finding the evidence to clear a man who has already spent five years in prison for a murder he says he didn’t commit.

Without their help a man will spend a life inside. The only evidence is circumstantial, so will fresh young minds make the breakthrough and free Simon Hall?

11.35 Cricket World Cup Highlights 12.35am FILM: Her Alibi (1989) Ludicrous romantic comedy.

2.10 Sign Zone: Return To Lullingstone Castle 2.40 Sleep Clinic 3.10 Beat The Bailiff 3.55 BBC News 24 5.00 Cricket World Cup Highlights

6.00 Eggheads 6.30 Great British Menu Bryn Williams representing North Wales goes for a strawberry souffle.

7.00 My Life As A Child See highlights.

7.30 The Good Life Barbara tries to remain a woman, despite her workworn hands and a ruined dress. Sure most males would agree she doesn’t have to try too hard.

8.00 Hairy Bikers Ride Again Dave and Si cook Patagonian lamb in a village where they still speak Welsh.

8.30 It’s Not Easy Being Green James meets Maggie, who is determined to decorate her 1930s house using eco-paints. I swear they must film all these programmes in Brighton.

9.00 The Catherine Tate Show Nan visits an old friend in hospital and Lauren takes a job at Billy’s Burger’s.

9.30 Roman’s Empire The Royal Tenebaums styled advert suggests this could be a entertainingly zany comedy series.

10.00 The Graham Norton Show 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Desi DNA Why buying a piece of south Asian art could be a good financial investment.

11.50 My Chemical Romance 12.20am FILM: Paid In Full (2002) 1980s Harlem and drugs.

2.00 BBC Learning Zone: Schools: GCSE Bitesize Revision: Science (x2)

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Pollard discovers David’s plot. Turner agrees to reschedule the pageant. Carrie realises that Chas is in the dark about her fling with Carl.

7.30 UEFA Cup Knockout: Tottenham Hotspur V Sevilla Matt Smith presents live coverage of the second leg of Tottenham’s UEFA Cup quarter final against Sevilla at White Hart Lane.

10.00 Murder Squad Detectives from a murder investigation team in South London are called to investigate the brutal killing of a young man who was mugged, beaten and stabbed outside a Brixton night club. They discover that the murder was caught on CCTV, and one of the men on the tape is known to local police.

10.30 ITV News; Weather 11.00 Meridian Soccer Night 11.30 The Way We Were Fred Dinenage, looks at growing up at home sweet home.

12.00am UEFA Cup Highlights Jim Rosenthal presents action from the UEFA Cup quarter-final.

12.55 ITV Play: Make Your Play 4.10 Make Me Perfect 5.00 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.00 The Simpsons Homer invests heavily in pumpkins.

6.30 Hollyoaks Justin is desperate to get Sean’s wallet back from Clare.

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder: The Hunt Falcons and their handlers, as they are called into London to help rid the buildings of pigeons.

8.00 A Place In The Sun Amanda Lamb continues her quest to help people find holiday homes abroad for a bargain price of 80,000 pounds. I’m in!

8.30 Chaos At The Chateau Essex boy David Darrell orders too much pork so conjures up a plan to make money out of the locals - ‘Pork Night’.

Genius.

9.00 Longford See highlights.

10.50 FILM: Basic Instinct (1992) What does it take to make a smash hit? No knickers and an unabashed Ms Stone.

1.10am FILM: Holy Smoke (1999) Kate Winslet loses herself in an Indian cult. Her parents are less than pleased. Then they make matters worse by employing exit counsellor Harvey Keitel.

3.15 F2.8 Short film drama.

3.40 The Bible Revolution 5.40 Treats From The Edwardian Country House

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics Oz Style 6.30 High Altitude 7.00 Aerobics Oz Style 7.30 FA Cup Classics 8.00 Cricket World Cup 9.00 High Altitude 9.30 Total Rugby 10.00 Watersports World 11.00 Irish Greyhound Racing 11.30 Pool: World Cup Of Pool 12.30pm Motocross 1.30 European Tour Golf 4.30 FA Cup Classics 5.00 Guinness Rugby Club 6.30 Football League Review 7.30 LIVE Darts: Premier League 11.00 Race World 12.00am Golf Night 2.30 Netball: Super League 4.30 Close

Sky Sports 3 7.00am WWE Experience 8.00 Watersports World 9.00 The Premiership Years 11.00 Aerobics Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Masters Football: Northwest Masters 3.00 The Premiership Years 5.00 WWE Heat 6.00 FA Cup Classics 6.30 NBA Action 7.00 LIVE Boots N All Special 7.30 LIVE Rugby League 10.00 WWE Late Night Raw 12.00am Extreme Championship Wrestling 1.00 Boots N All Special 1.30 Rugby League 4.00 Close

Miranda Glavin

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

3.00pm Brainiac: Science Abuse 4.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 6.00 Stargate Atlantis 7.00 The Simpsons (x4) 9.00 Bones 10.00 Cold Case (x2) 12.00am Brainiac: Science Abuse 1.00 Very Worst... 1.50 Temptation Island (x2) 3.30 World’s Most Dangerous Sports Events 4.20 Star Trek: Voyager (x2)

7.00pm Panic Room 8.00 The Real Hustle 8.30 Rush Hour 9.00 The Bulls*** Detective. See Highlights.

10.00 EastEnders 10.30 The Real Hustle 11.00 Conning The Conmen 11.30 Two Pints Of Lager & A Packet Of Crisps (x2) 12.30 The Bulls*** Detective 1.30 The Real Hustle 2.00 Conning The Conmen

7.00pm Sounds Of The Sixties 7.10 The Avengers 8.00 The World 8.30 Once A Soldier 9.00 Life On Mars 10.00 Five Days 11.00 Spiral 11.50 Racism: A History 12.50am TV’s Black Pioneers 1.20 Wedding Rites: In Sickness And In Health 2.20 Once A Soldier 2.50 Racism: A History 3.50 Close

1.30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.40 The Ricki Lake Show 4.25 Sally Jessy Raphael 5.10 Airline USA 5.40 Judge Judy 6.30 WAGs Boutique 7.30 FILM: Hulk (2002) 10.00 Deadline 11.00 Supernatural 12.00am Sally Morgan: Star Psychic 1.00 Deadline 2.00 ITV Play: Make Your Play 4.00 Teleshopping

4.05pm Cagney And Lacey 5.05 Rising Damp 5.40 Quantum Leap 6.40 Movies Now 6.50 Lovejoy 8.00 The Two Ronnies 9.00 Blue Murder 10.30 FILM: Jaws (1975) 12.50am Hack 1.50 Heartbeat 2.45 The Beiderbecke Connection 3.35 Tales Of The Unexpected 4.00 Teleshopping

3.30pm Smallville: Superman The Early Years 4.30 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 The War At Home 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 ER 10.00 Sex In Court 10.35 The 100 Greatest TV Ads 1.40am Scrubs (x2) 2.35 Smallville: Superman The Early Years 3.15 The War At Home 3.40 One Tree Hill

3.30pm FILM: Reach For The Sky (1956) 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 More4 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 Grand Designs 10.00 Grand Designs: Trade Secrets 10.30 Without A Trace 11.30 NYPD Blue 12.30am The Daily Show Global Edition 1.00 Countdown

7.00pm The X Files 8.00 Kath And Kim 8.30 Campus Ladies 9.00 CSI: Miami 10.00 Boston Legal 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am The X Files 1.00 Boston Legal 2.00 The L Word 3.00 Veronica Mars 3.50 Gastineau Girls (x2) 4.40 6ixth Sense With Colin Fry (x2) 5.30 Home Shopping

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

7.00pm Porridge (x3) 9.00 Jim’ll Fix It Strikes Again 9.30 TV Now And Then 10.10 Only Fools And Horses 11.15 Men Behaving Badly (x2) 12.35am TV Now And Then 1.15 Room 101 1.55 Have I Got 2001 For You 2.25 Have I Got 2002 For You 2.55 Wogan: Now And Then 3.45 The House Of Eliott (x2)

7.00pm Scrubs (x2) 8.00 That 70s Show (x2) 9.00 Everybody Hates Chris (x2) 10.00 Sex And The City 10.35 South Park (x2) 11.35 The World Stands Up 12.05am Al Murray: A Glass Of White Wine For The Lady 1.30 Sex And The City 2.05 South Park 2.35 Badly Dubbed Porn 3.05 Sexy Cam (x2)

7.00pm Mythbusters 8.00 How Do They Do It? 8.30 How It’s Made 9.00 My Shocking Story 10.00 World’s Lost Tribes 11.00 Extreme Medical Stories 12.00am The FBI Files 1.00 Scene Of The Crime 2.00 Forensic Detectives 3.00 World’s Lost Tribes 3.50 My Shocking Story 4.40 Deadliest Catch

5.00pm Tru Calling 6.00 The Lost World 7.00 Roswell 8.00 Tru Calling 9.00 Stephen King’s Desperation 10.00 FILM: Shadow Of The Vampire (2000) 11.35 Erotic Misadventures Of The Invisible Man 1.30am FILM: Dragon Storm (2004) 3.25 Psychic Detectives 4.00 Star Trek

11.55am The Great Dictator (1940) 2.05pm The Party (1968) 3.55 A King In New York (1957) 5.45 The Greatest Story Ever Told (1965) 9.00 The Party (1968) 10.40 Soldier Blue (1970) 12.40am Irma La Douce (1963) 3.10 Monsieur Verdoux (1947) 5.25 The Great Dictator (1940)

12.00pm Sideways (2004) 2.10 Love, Etc (1996) 4.00 China’s Hollywood 5.00 The Holy Girl (2004) 6.55 AFI George Lucas Tribute 8.40 Lai See (2007) 9.00 Sideways (2004) 11.10 Before Sunset (2004) 12.50am Love, Etc (1996) 2.50 China’s Hollywood 4.00 Close

1.00pm Kiki’s Delivery Service (1989) 3.05 Blowing Wild (1953) 4.50 Brief Encounter (1945) 6.30 The Battle Of Britain (1969) 9.00 The Passion Of The Christ (2004) 11.25 Mysterious Skin (2004) 1.25am I’m Not Scared (2003) 3.30 Close

11.00am The Gang That Couldn’t Shoot Straight (1971) 12.50pm That Forsyte Woman (1949) 3.00 Gigi (1958) 5.10 Waterloo Bridge (1940) 7.15 Ask Any Girl (1959) 9.00 Friday The 13th (1980) 10.45 Poltergeist (1982) 12.50am The 25th Hour (1967) 3.00 The Stratton Story (1949) 4.45 Teleshopping

Classics

Indie

000_LS316_TV_Fri13

4/4/07

4:14 PM

Page 1

friday 13 Ruddy Hell!

It’s Harry and Paul BBC1, 9.30pm After a spell in the wilderness (alternating between Sky and some dreadful British movies) Harry Enfield is reunited with his old chum Paul Whitehouse for some BBC sketch show action.

Watch out for new characters including Posh Scaffolders and a smattering of famous faces.

Derren Brown: Trick or Treat Channel 4, 10pm The clever showman whose schtick is approximately two thirds pushy estate agent to a third David Blaine returns to the small screen in this Halloween repeat. Stunts include Derren transporting a punter to Marrakech and masterminding a game of fate with the League of Gentleman and some mini rolls.

BBC Four Sessions: Ray LaMontagne BBC4, 9pm Fans of softly spoken American folk rock should prepare to stroke their collective beards in delight at this live session from the soulinfused singer-songwriter recorded in an intimate East London setting at the end of his recent UK tour. Expect a slice of smouldering alt country.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Animal 24:7 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.45 Car Booty 12.15pm Cash In The Attic 1.00 BBC News; Weather 1.30 Regional News And Weather 1.40 Neighbours 2.05 Doctors 3.05 Wildlife On One 3.20 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3.25 Lazytown 3.50 The Likeaballs 4.00 50/50 4.30 The Underdog Show On CBBC 5.00 Totally Doctor Who 5.35 Neighbours

6.00am Fimbles 6.25 The Story Makers 6.35 Balamory 7.00 In The Night Garden 7.30 Mama Mirabelle’s Home Movies 7.45 Tommy Zoom 8.00 Do Something Different 8.45 Arthur 9.00 The Underdog Show On CBBC 9.25 Mona The Vampire 9.40 Krypto The Superdog 9.50 Watch My Chops 10.00 Best Of Friends 10.30 Bring It On 11.00 FILM: The Incredible Journey (1963) 12.20pm Dangermouse 12.45 Animal Park 1.45 Racing From Aintree 4.45 Flog It! 5.15 The Weakest Link

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 2.00 Midsomer Murders 3.00 Daily Cooks 4.00 Rosemary And Thyme 5.00 Soapstar Superchef

6.10am The Hoobs (x2) 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Just Shoot Me (x2) 8.55 The OC 9.55 Friends (x2) 10.55 High School Dance 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 3 Minute Wonder: The Hunt 12.35 FILM: White Feather (1955) 2.25 Life Begins Again 3.30 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The New Paul O’Grady Show

6.00am Trans World Sport 7.00 LIVE European Tour Golf 10.00 Cricket World Cup 11.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 11.30 Football League Review 12.30pm FIFA Futbol Mundial 1.00 Cricket World Cup 2.00 LIVE Cricket World Cup. Coverage from the Super Eights stage of the 2007 Cricket World Cup, as Australia take on Ireland. 11.00 Soccer AM’s All Sports Show 12.00am Premier League Preview 12.30 Football League 2.00 Friday Fight Night 4.00 Soccer AM’s All Sports Show 5.00 Premier League Preview 5.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial

6.00 BBC News And Weather The latest news and weather.

6.30 South East Today; Weather Regional news magazine.

7.00 A Question Of Sport Sports quiz hosted by Sue Barker with regular captains Ally McCoist and Matt Dawson.

7.30 Inside Out It’s the best time of year for beachcombing, and the show investigates the goodies you can find.

8.00 EastEnders Dot and Jim are forced to deal with the consequences of Jim’s decision.

8.30 My Family A death in the dentist’s chair is not very good for business.

9.00 Have I Got News For You 9.30 Ruddy Hell! It’s Harry And Paul New comedy from the 90’s comedy duo. See highlights.

10.00 BBC News; Regional News; Weather 10.35 Friday Night With Jonathan Ross A mix of music and celebrity chat with Ursula Andress and Jamie Cullum.

11.35 Cricket World Cup Highlights Manish Bhasin introduces action from the Super 8 stage of the World Cup as Australia meet Ireland.

12.35am FILM: Ravenous (1999) Chilling hybrid of black comedy and gory horror set in the US during the 19th century.

2.15 BBC News 24 5.00 Cricket World Cup Highlights.

6.00 Eggheads General knowledge quiz.

6.30 Great British Menu 7.00 Wainwright’s Walks Four-part series in which Julia Bradbury explores the work of Britain’s greatest fell walker and author, Alfred Wainwright.

7.30 Bill Oddie Goes Wild In this edition he explores the highways and byways of North Norfolk by bicycle.

8.00 Christine’s Garden Summer is not Christine’s favourite time of year with her plants wilting under a relentless sun.

8.30 Gardeners’ World Spring is well under way.

9.00 Timewatch: Hijack Documentary.

9.50 Showdown In Elk Town 10.00 QI 10.30 Newsnight Emily Maitlis introduces comprehensive coverage of the day’s important national and international news stories.

11.00 Newsnight Review Roundtable arts discussion series with Martha Kearney and guests.

11.35 Grand National Preview Sue Barker and Clare Balding look ahead to the 160th running of the Grand National at Aintree.

12.05am FILM: Death In Venice (1971) Haunting literary adaptation with music from Gustav Mahler.

2.10 Star Trek (x2) 3.50 Malcolm In The Middle

6.00 Meridian Tonight Local news magazine. Including Meridian weather.

6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather The latest national and international news.

7.00 Emmerdale David senses that all is not well with Pollard while Donna and Marlon miss living together.

7.30 Coronation Street Eileen and Jason are at loggerheads over Holly.

Steve is horrified when Liz and Vernon make an announcement.

8.00 Battle Of The Bins: Tonight As Britain prepares for a major upheaval to meet European recycling targets, the programme goes on the trail of the illegal fly tippers who are turning rubbish into a lucrative trade.

8.30 Midsomer Murders Barnaby and Scott investigate a death in Midsomer Mere.

10.30 ITV News; Weather The latest national and international news, plus national weather.

Including local news programmes.

11.00 WAGs Boutique It’s handbags at dawn, as two teams of footballers’ wives and girlfriends compete to run the best fashion boutique in London.

12.00am ITV Play: Make Your Play Play from home for a chance to win nightly cash prizes of up to £50,000.

4.10 60 Minute Makeover 5.00 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.00 The Simpsons Springfield is shocked when a national survey reveals that their city is the least popular town in the United States.

6.30 Hollyoaks John Paul broods over what might have happened with Spike without Hannah’s interference.

7.00 Channel 4 News Including sport and weather.

7.30 Unreported World A film crew accompany UN troops as they face a daily battle to retake Cite Soleil.

8.00 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away Cheshire couple Susan and Colin Woods decide between a sunsoaked property on Portugal’s Algarve, and a cottage in Cornwall.

9.00 Ugly Betty Betty has to make sure Mode’s runway show goes off without a hitch.

10.00 Derren Brown: Trick Or Treat See highlights.

10.30 Peep Show Mark is having crippling doubts.

11.05 Peter Kay’s Phoenix Nights Sitcom repeat.

11.35 Transmission With T-Mobile Music from the Klaxons.

12.40am 4 Music: The JD Set Presents: Get Cape Wear Cape Fly 12.55 4 Music: Hot Club De Paris 1.10 Goalissimo!

2.05 PartyPoker.com 3.05 KOTV 3.35 Trans World Sport 4.30 Water Stories

6.00am Tickle, Patch And Friends 6.25 Franny’s Feet 6.40 The Clangers 6.45 Funky Town 6.50 The Milkshake!

Show 7.20 The Beeps 7.30 Little Princess 7.45 Noddy 8.00 Fifi 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas 8.40 Old Bear Stories 8.50 Mio Mao 9.00 Funky Valley 9.05 House Doctor 9.35 Britain’s Worst Pet 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 Five News 12.00pm Home And Away 12.30 Greatest Ever... Machines 1.30 Russell Grant’s Postcards 1.35 FILM: The Inheritance (1997) 3.40 FILM: Brian’s Song (2001) 5.30 Five News 6.00 Home And Away Macca is frustrated to learn how Cassie truly feels.

6.30 Two And A Half Men Charlie meets his match when he falls for a self-centred, manipulative narcissist who’s better at playing hard to get than he is.

7.00 Five News National and international news with John Suchet.

7.30 Mean Machines A look at some of the most cutting edge cranes in the world, including roller cranes, floating cranes, and a mini crane with artificial intelligence that can fit through doorways and handle radioactive material.

8.00 Super Snakes Documentary following a groundbreaking study by scientists to discover more about constrictors - snakes that literally squeeze their prey to death.

9.00 NCIS The wives of two marines are murdered and the team are desperate to find the killers before they attack another target.

10.00 Law And Order: Criminal Intent When the ‘little black book’ of an infamous hedonistic playboy is purchased at auction, the new owner is found murdered.

11.00 Muscle Worship: Hidden Lives 12.00am Prison Break Acclaimed US drama.

1.00 Quiz Call 5.35 Wildlife SOS

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics Oz Style 6.30 Guinness Rugby Club 8.00 Cricket World Cup 9.00 High Altitude 9.30 ATP Tennis 10.00 Darts: Premier League 1.30pm European Tour Golf 4.30 NBA Action 5.00 Premier League Preview 5.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 6.00 Soccer AM’s All Sports Show 7.00 Premier League Preview 7.30 LIVE Football League 10.00 LIVE Friday Fight Night 12.00am Golf Night 2.30 Premier League Preview 3.00 Football League 4.30 Fishing: Bass Fishing 5.30 High Altitude

Sky Sports 3 7.00am WWE Raw 9.00 The Premiership Years 11.00 Aerobics Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Masters Football: Grand Final 3.00 The Premiership Years 5.00 WWE Raw 7.00 Gillette World Sport 7.30 LIVE Super League 10.00 WWE Late Night Smackdown 12.00am WWE Late Night Bottom Line 1.00 Super League 2.30 Rally Fever 3.30 Super League 5.00 Rally Fever

Matt Chittock

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

6.00pm Stargate Atlantis 7.00 The Simpsons (x3) 8.30 Crash Test Dummies 9.00 FILM: Mrs Doubtfire (1993) 11.25 Cold Case 12.25am Best Of Brainiac: Science Abuse 1.25 Street Wars 2.15 I’m Still Alive 3.05 Temptation Island 3.55 America’s Dumbest Criminals 4.20 Star Trek: Voyager 5.10 Zoids (x2)

7.00pm Castaway 8.00 Freaky Eaters 9.00 Doctor Who 9.45 Doctor Who Confidential 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps (x2) 11.35 Jonathan Ross’s Japanorama 12.05am Ideal 12.35 Family Guy (x2) 1.20 Two Pints Of Lager (x2) 2.20 Castaway 2.50 Freaky Eaters

7.00pm 10 Best Choral Masterpieces 8.00 The World 8.30 In Concert: Bill Withers 9.00 BBC Four Sessions: Ray LaMontagne.

See highlights. 10.00 Five Days 11.00 Spiral 11.50 The Avengers 12.40am Never Mind The Full Stops 1.10 BBC Four Sessions: Ray LaMontagne 2.10 10 Best Choral Masterpieces

3.40pm The Ricki Lake Show 4.25 Sally Jessy Raphael 5.15 Airline USA 5.45 Judge Judy 7.00 Smallville 8.00 Airline 8.30 American Idol (x2) 10.30 Sally Morgan: Star Psychic 11.30 Coronation Street 12.00am FILM: Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein (1994) 2.20 ITV Play: Make Your Play 4.00 Teleshopping

5.05pm Rising Damp 5.35 Quantum Leap 6.40 Film File 6.50 Lovejoy 8.00 Pie In The Sky 9.00 FILM: Jaws (1975) 11.25 Tales Of The Unexpected (x2) 12.35 Lovejoy 1.40 The Ruth Rendell Mysteries: A Dark Blue Perfume 2.40 The Beiderbecke Connection 3.35 Tales Of The Unexpected 4.00 Teleshopping

4.30pm Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 The War At Home 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Wife Swap 10.00 Wife Swap: The Aftermath 10.30 Kidnapped 12.15am Scrubs (x2) 1.10 Smallville: Superman The Early Years 2.00 The War At Home 2.20 Kidnapped 3.45 One Tree Hill 4.25 Switched (x4)

4.00pm FILM: The Gentle Sex (1943) 5.35 A Place In The Sun 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 More4 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 Without A Trace 10.00 The Closer 11.00 The Perfect Penis 12.05am NYPD Blue 12.55 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 1.20 Countdown

7.00pm The X Files. spooky sci-fi. 8.00 Close To Home 9.00 Criminal Minds 10.00 CSI: Miami 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am The X Files 1.00 Criminal Minds 2.00 FILM: Roman Holiday (1953) Starring Audrey Hepburn.

4.20 The Fix 4.40 6ixth Sense With Colin Fry (x2) 5.30 Home Shopping

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

7.00pm Porridge (x3) 9.00 The Vicar Of Dibley (x2) 10.20 EuroMillions: Boom Bang A Bang 10.30 FILM: Universal Soldier: The Return (1998) 12.10am Doctor Who 1.10 Room 101 1.50 Have I Got 2001 For You 2.25 Room 101 2.55 Wogan: Now And Then 3.45 The House Of Eliott (x2) 5.35 Neighbours

7.00pm Scrubs (x2) 8.00 That 70s Show (x2) 9.00 South Park (x5) Anarchic animation. 11.30 The World Stands Up 12.00am Jo Brand: Barely Live 1.30 South Park (x2) 2.30 Badly Dubbed Porn 3.00 Sexy Cam 3.30 Linc’s 4.00 That 70s Show (x2) 5.00 Sir Leslie Quint: A Life In Film (x3) 5.15 Ally McBeal

6.00pm American Chopper 7.00 Mythbusters 8.00 How Do They Do It? 9.00 Mythbusters 10.00 How Do They Do It? (x2) 11.00 True Crime Scene 12.00am The FBI Files 1.00 Most Evil 2.00 Forensic Detectives 3.00 How Do They Do It? (x2) 3.50 Mythbusters 4.40 Deadliest Catch 5.30 How It’s Made

1.00pm Star Trek 2.00 The Lost World 3.00 FILM: Cave In (2003) 5.00 Tru Calling 6.00 The Lost World 7.00 Roswell 8.00 Tru Calling 9.00 Heroes 10.00 FILM: The Toxic Avenger (1985) 11.50 FILM: Tromeo And Juliet (1996) 2.00am FILM: Sgt Kabukiman NYPD (1991) 4.00 Star Trek 5.05 The Lost World

5.15pm People Will Talk (1951) 7.15 Move Over, Darling (1963) 9.00 Private Life Of Sherlock Holmes (1970) 11.10 A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum (1966) 12.50am A Lovely Way To Die (1968) 2.35 The Bad Seed (1956) 4.55 A Woman Of Paris (1923)

12.00pm Stolen Kisses (1968) 1.55 House Of Flying Daggers (2004) 4.00 Bombon, El Perro (2004) 6.00 Indie Close-Up 6.25 The Last Buffalo (1990) 7.05 Birth (2004) 9.00 Hard Eight (1997) 10.45 House Of Flying Daggers (2004) 12.45am Birth (2004) 2.25 Stolen Kisses (1968)

1.00pm American Madness (1932) 2.30 Golden Boy (1939) 4.25 The Ghost And Mrs Muir (1947) 6.25 The Bridges Of Madison County (1995) Modern weepie.

9.00 Independence Day (1996) Popular sci-fi flick starring Will Smith as the world’s last hope against alien attack. 11.50 Dogville (2003)

12.50pm The Courtship Of Eddie’s Father (1963) 3.00 Code Name: Emerald (1985) 4.45 The Big Sleep (1946) 6.55 The Year Of Living Dangerously (1982) 9.00 The Fugitive (1993) 11.20 Gun Glory (1957) 1.00am Moonfleet (1955) 2.35 The Fixer (1968) 4.45 Teleshopping 5.00 Battle Beneath The Earth (1967)

Classics

Indie

053_L7316 Sat 14 Apr.qxd

4/5/07

3:39 PM

Page 1

saturday 14 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls Channel 4, 7pm Whether you’re convinced by the former Special Forces adventurer's bravado or not anyone who can cope in the incredibly tough 110-degree heat and 3,600 square miles of terrain Moab desert of Utah can be in my team. Take notes as you just never know when you might end up lost in sand land.

Face Of Britain Channel 4, 8pm Archaeologist Neil Oliver reveals and explores the fascinating results of a landmark DNA study into the genetics of the British population, discovering who our ancestors really are and whether regional faces can be traced back to ancient tribes. Interesting fodder for the ‘who and what exactly is British’ debate.

Jim’ll Fix It Strikes Again UKTV Gold, 8.30pm If ever there was a case to prove Freud right, maternally fixated Jim is it. Somehow he has become ingrained in the British conscious.

Like the creepy, bizarre uncle at family gatherings -no one's quite sure where he came from, they wish he'd go away yet his 'quirky' nature provides a never ending entertainment.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 10.00 Saturday Kitchen 11.30 Great British Menu 12.00pm BBC News; Weather 12.10 Football Focus 1.00 The Grand National 5.10 BBC News; Regional News; Weather 5.25 Match Of The Day Live

6.00am Teletubbies 6.30 Balamory 6.50 Step Inside 7.00 Batfink 7.10 Arthur 7.30 The Underdog Show On CBBC 8.00 Watch My Chops 8.15 Mona The Vampire 8.30 The Story Of Tracy Beaker 9.00 Hider In The House 10.00 The Underdog Show On CBBC 10.30 Totally Doctor Who 11.00 The Story Of Tracy Beaker 11.30 The Fairly Odd Parents 11.45 Sportsround 12.00pm See Hear 12.45 FILM: An American In Paris (1951) 2.35 FILM: Lust For Life (1956) 4.30 Final Score 5.05 Meerkat Manor 5.30 Meerkat Manor 5.55 The Weakest Link 6.40 FILM: I Capture The Castle (2003) 1930s drama about two young girls falling in love for the first time with handsome American brothers.

Cassandra and her beautiful sister Rose live in a crumbling English castle with their penniless father and eccentric stepmother. They despair that they will ever escape and see life but when two wealthy young Americans move into the village, they seize their chance.

8.30 Porridge Fletch has fallen out with the governor.

9.00 FILM: The Human Stain (2003) Adaptation of a Philip Roth novel, in which a classics professor struggles to guard a terrible secret. Promising line-up of Anthony Hopkins, Nicole Kidman, Ed Harris, and Gary Sinise.

10.35 Have I Got A Little Bit More News For You Guests include Jeremy Clarkson and Krishnan GuruMurthy.

11.15 FILM: Steptoe And Son Ride Again (1973) I can’t imagine this is good. Please correct me if I’m wrong.

12.50am FILM: The Announcement (2001) Relationship drama set over one night and the morning after. First rule of getting embarrassingly drunk: it’s not to be discussed in the morning.

2.15 Close

6.00am GMTV 9.25 Horrid Henry 9.35 Bel’s Boys 9.55 Tricky Quickies 10.00 Saturday Cooks 11.30 F1: Bahrain Grand Prix Qualifying 1.20pm Bennett’s British Superbike Championship 2.20 ITV News; Weather 2.25 Meridian News And Weather 2.30 American Idol 3.30 American Idol 4.30 Planet’s Funniest Animals 5.00 Creature Comforts 5.10 Meridian News And Weather 5.25 ITV News; Sports Results; Weather 5.40 New You’ve Been Framed!

6.00am The Treacle People 6.10 The Hoobs (x2) 7.00 Goalissimo! 8.00 The Morning Line 9.00 Avril Lavigne: T4 Special 9.30 Musicool 10.35 Popworld 11.20 High School Dance 12.25pm Shipwrecked 2007: The Hut Cam Diaries 12.55 Shipwrecked 2007: Battle Of The Islands 2.00 Channel 4 Racing From Lingfield Park And Newcastle 3.30 Location, Location, Location 4.00 FILM: Paws (1997) 5.35 Monarchy By David Starkey

6.00am Sunrise 6.55 Franklin 7.25 Mist: Sheepdog Tales 7.35 Little Princess 7.45 Make Way For Noddy 8.00 Harry And His Bucket Full Of Dinosaurs (x2) 8.30 The Book Of Pooh 9.00 Ebb And Flo 9.05 Peppa Pig 9.15 Fifi And The Flowertots 9.30 Jane And The Dragon 10.00 The Gadget Show 10.50 World’s Strongest Man 11.55 FILM: The Young Guns (1956) 1.30pm FILM: The Mountain (1956) 3.30 FILM: Columbo: Double Exposure (1973) 5.00 FILM: A Kid Called Danger (1999)

6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Premier League Preview 7.00 LIVE Motor Racing: A1 Grand Prix 9.00 Soccer AM 12.00pm LIVE Scottish Cup Football 3.00 Gillette Soccer Saturday 5.45 LIVE Super League 7.55 Scottish Cup Football 8.25 Football First: Game Of The Day 10.15 Football First: Match Choice (x5) 5.45am Sky Sports Classics

6.10 Harry Hill’s TV Burp The Apprentice, Born Survivor: Bear Grylls and a new reality TV show Any Dream Will Do all deliver stiffled smirks.

6.40 Grease Is The Word The search continues to find a new leading Danny and Sandy as Grease prepares to return to London’s West End. This programme follows thousands of hopefuls as they audition in front of a creepy panel of judges comprising producer David Ian, impresario David Gest, choreographer Brian Friedman and pop singer Sinitta.Zoe Ball flitters around looking concerned.

7.40 Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?

8.40 Vernon Kay’s Gameshow Marathon Vernon continues to groom himself as the next Bruce Forsythe.

9.40 The Dame Edna Treatment Irritating duo Matt Lucas and David Walliams chat to the Dame.

10.40 ITV News; Weather 10.55 FILM: Election (1999) Smart, acerbic comedy starring Reese Witherspoon and Matthew Broderick on top form. Any budding teachers out there pray you don’t receive the over achieving student from hell.

12.50am ITV Play: Make Your Play 3.50 Don’t Move, Improve (x2) 5.00 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.35 Channel 4 News 7.00 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls See highlights.

8.00 Face Of Britain See highlights.

9.00 The World’s Greatest Comedy Characters The funniest comedy creations of the past 50 years are celebrated in this three-hour countdown, compiled by the British public, a panel of industry experts (who are these people?) and other critics.

12.05am X-Box Big Day Out Tim Westwood presents coverage and for that reason alone I won’t be watching.

12.40 FILM: Switch (1991) After a habitual womaniser is shot by three vengeful ex-girlfriends (that’ll teach him!) rather than go straight to hell he is offered redemption in the shape of the female body and the objective of finding someone who actually love him, womanly warts and all.Ellen Barkin delivers a critically acclaimed performance as the fox in a sheep’s clothing.

2.25 FILM: Love And Sex (2000) A witty yet familiar play on the old ‘relationship breakup’ plot. Lets face it; we’ve all been there before..

3.45 Seduction School: Size Doesn’t Matter 4.45 Fast Spin Fling 4.50 Psyche And Eros 5.20 Countdown

7.40 Doctor Who The Doctor takes Martha to New Earth, in the far future, only to find that an entire city has become a deadly trap.

8.25 Any Dream Will Do If it ain’t broke don’t fix it. After alpine Maria’s success Lloyd Webber was inevitably going to trawl through his extensive back catalogue. Hence Joseph and the Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat gets the treatment..

9.35 The National Lottery: Saturday Draws 9.45 Any Dream Will Do For one boy the dream’s over.

10.10 BBC News; Weather 10.30 Match Of The Day Ray Stubbs presents highlights from the Barclays Premiership and the FA Cup semi-final between Watford and Manchester United at Villa Park.

11.50 Cricket World Cup Highlights Foreign cricket fans get cheap beer and a swimming pool. We get soggy sandwiches and rain. No wonder we’re not very good.

12.50am Grand National Highlights Highlights of the 160th running of the world-famous Grand National from Aintree.

1.20 Friday Night With Jonathan Ross Ross goes about drooling over guest Ursula Andress.

2.25 Joins BBC News 24 5.00 Cricket World Cup Highlights

6.35 FILM: Curly Sue (1991) Ah she’s so sweet it’s almost, in fact it is, pretty sickly. Like a gorgonzola starter followed by a camembert main with a cheese board to finish.

Utterly wiffyly naff. But good if you’re in the mood.

8.30 Five News And Sport 8.45 NCIS A navy commander who apparently spontaneously combusts after surgery was coincidentally in the habit of making enemies.

9.35 CSI:NY Hawkes is in big trouble when he is identified as the perpetrator of a bar-room murder.

Faced with seemingly irrefutable evidence and an eyewitness, can Mac and his team prove their colleague’s innocence?

10.35 Law And Order Crime series.

An investigation into the murder of a wealthy teenage girl leads the detectives to an abandoned car and a second body.

11.35 Grey’s Anatomy Meredith’s fears of a bad day are realised when a medical case threatens the lives of everyone in the OR. 12.35am Grey’s Anatomy Despite the best efforts of the Seattle Grace staff, the code black situation escalates.

1.35 Quiz Call 5.35 Wildlife SOS

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Gillette World Sport 6.30 LIVE European Tour Golf 9.30 Gillette World Sport 10.00 Cricket World Cup 11.00 Motor Racing: A1 Grand Prix 1.00pm Cricket World Cup 2.00 LIVE Cricket World Cup (x2) 11.00 Super League 12.30am Scottish Cup Football 1.00 Golf Night 3.30 Scottish Cup Football 4.00 Super League 5.30 Scottish Cup Football

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Sports Unlimited 7.00 Soccer AM’s All Sports Show 8.00 Cricket World Cup 9.00 Racing News 10.00 WWE Smackdown 12.00pm WWE The Bottom Line 1.00 NBA Basketball 3.00 LIVE Rugby Union: Super 14 5.00 WWE Smackdown 7.00 Wild Spirits 7.30 Golf Night 10.00 Extreme Championship Wrestling 11.00 WWE Smackdown 1.00am WWE Late Night Bottom Line 2.00 Motor Racing: A1 Grand Prix 4.00 Rugby Union: Super 14

Miranda Glavin

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

3.00pm FILM: The Librarian: Return To King Solomon’s Mines (2006) 4.45 Futurama: Welcome To The World Of Tomorrow 5.00 Futurama 5.30 Malcolm In The Middle (x3) 7.00 Futurama (x2) 8.00 Cold Case 9.00 Bones 10.00 24 11.00 Nip/Tuck 12.05am Naked In Blackpool

7.00pm The Real Hustle 7.20 Top Gear 8.25 Doctor Who Confidential 9.10 Little Britain 9.40 FILM: Twelve Monkeys (1995) 11.45 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps (x2) 12.40am Ideal 1.10 Rush Hour 1.40 The Real Hustle 2.10 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps (x2) 3.10 Ideal 3.40 Close

7.00pm Medical Mavericks 8.00 Art Of Eternity 9.00 Mortgaged To The Yanks 10.00 FILM: Beautiful City (2004) 11.40 Spiral 12.30am Medical Mavericks 1.30 Art Of Eternity 2.30 Mortgaged To The Yanks 3.30 Medical Mavericks 4.30 Close

3.40pm Australian Princess 4.40 Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? 5.40 Smallville: Superman The Early Years 6.40 Australian Princess 7.40 Greased Lightnin’ 8.40 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 9.10 Planet’s Funniest Animals 9.40 FILM: Back To The Future, Part III (1990) 12.00am Grease Is The Word

11.30am Jeeves And Wooster (x2) 1.40pm Film File 1.50 FILM: Casino Royale (1967) 4.25 Pie In The Sky 5.30 Goodnight Sweetheart 6.10 Kavanagh QC 7.40 Inspector Morse 9.55 Taggart 12.05am The Bill: End Of The Affair 1.05 The Cosby Mysteries 2.05 Mapp And Lucia 2.55 Only When I Laugh (x2)

5.00pm Friends (x2) 5.55 The Simple Life: Interns 6.25 Shipwrecked 2007: The Hut Cam Diaries 6.55 Shipwrecked 2007: Battle Of The Islands 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 FILM: Weird Science (1985) 10.50 Bring Back... Grange Hill 11.50 Transmission With TMobile 12.55am FILM: Weird Science (1985)

9.00am Velux 5 Oceans Ultimate Solo Challenge 9.30 Time Team (x4) 1.25pm Grand Designs (x5) 6.55 Snowmail 7.00 FILM: The Kentuckian (1955) 9.00 Time Team Special 10.00 The First Emperor 12.05am The Closer 1.05 The Closer 2.00 Close

10.00am The Golden Girls (x2) 11.00 Wonder Woman 12.00pm The Amazing Race 1.00 The Bachelor USA 2.00 Will And Grace (x2) 3.00 Charmed (x4) 7.00 America’s Next Top Model 8.00 The X Files 9.00 New Most Haunted 10.00 Hotel Babylon 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am Most Haunted

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

12.20pm My Family (x3) 2.20 Keeping Up Appearances (x3) 4.20 My Family 5.00 FILM: Kate And Leopold (2001) 7.10 My Family (x2) 8.30 Jim’ll Fix It Strikes Again. See highlights. 9.00 Jonathan Creek 10.05 The Catherine Tate Show 10.45 FILM: AI: Artificial Intelligence (2001)

11.00am Becker (x2) 12.00pm Frasier (x2) 1.00 Becker (x2) 2.00 Frasier (x2) 3.00 Becker (x2) 4.00 Frasier (x2) 5.00 Becker (x2) 6.00 Frasier (x2) 7.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 8.00 Everybody Hates Chris (x2) 9.00 South Park (x2) 10.05 FILM: Vampire In Brooklyn (1995) 12.30am Naked And Funny

6.00am How It’s Made (x4) 8.00 How Do They Do It? 9.00 Mythbusters (x9) 6.00pm Seven Wonders Of Ancient Egypt 7.00 Riddle Of The Sphinx 8.00 Oil, Sweat And Rigs 9.00 True Crime Scene 10.00 My Shocking Story 11.00 The FBI Files (x2) 1.00am Angel Of Death 2.00 Forensic Detectives

6.00am Robot Wars: The Sixth Wars (x2) 8.00 Teleshopping 11.00 Star Trek 12.00pm A Town Called Eureka (x7) 7.10 FILM: Black Knight (2001) 9.00 Heroes (x3) 12.00am FILM: Emmanuelle 2000: Emmanuelle’s Sensual Pleasures (2000) 1.00 Heroes (x3) 4.00 The Outer Limits (x2)

8.30am Hondo (1953) 10.05 Lawrence Of Arabia (1962) 1.40pm Blackbeard’s Ghost (1968) 3.30 Hondo (1953) 5.25 Lawrence Of Arabia (1962) 9.00 Bullitt (1968) 11.00 Curse Of The Werewolf (1961) 12.40am A Taste Of Honey (1961) 2.35 I Want To Live! (1958) 4.40 City Lights (1931)

12.00pm Garden State (2004) 2.00 Fandango (1984) 4.00 I Heart Huckabees (2004) 6.00 Mountain Gorilla 7.00 AFI Sean Connery Tribute 9.00 Garden State (2004) 10.45 Fandango (1984) 12.20am I Heart Huckabees (2004) 2.15 AFI Sean Connery Tribute 4.00 Close

1.00pm Conspiracy Of Hearts (1960) 3.10 The Girl Can’t Help It (1956) 5.05 Carry On Up The Khyber (1968) 6.45 The Undefeated (1969) 9.00 Vanilla Sky (2001) 11.35 Dumplings (2004) 1.20am Torn Curtain (1966) 3.50 Close

2.25pm Arthur C Clarke: 2001: A Space Odyssey 3.00 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968) 5.35 2001: The Making Of A Myth 6.50 Logan’s Run (1976) 9.00 Mad Max (1979) 10.45 Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior (1981) 12.30am Demon Seed (1977) 2.15 Children Of The Damned (1964) 3.55 Little Off Set

Classics

Indie

054_L7316 Sun 15 Apr.qxd

4/5/07

4:00 PM

Page 1

sunday 15 Play It Again BBC1, 8pm Learning an instrument is hard enough – anyone suffering a new violinist’s tentative shrieks will vouch for that. So pity fertility expert Lord Robert Winston out of his depth in the world of the sax.

Though he hasn’t played a musical instrument since the age of 11, he now has to busk, play in a nightclub and then the Albert Hall.

Outside: Lost For Words Channel 4, 1.25am There’s something intriguing about other people’s passions.

The kagooled trainspotter, the binocular-wielding birdwatcher; how and why comes to mind?

This film follows the weird and wonderful world of Scrabble obsession – such as the disgruntled ex-world champion, who lost his title by one point.

Lost Sky One, 10pm Following the Virgin/Sky fiasco many customers of the former are sobbing for their lost Lost (but not so much to jump on the Sky bandwagon). So for those of you still watching (I fear it’s too late for me now) the castaways are elated at Jack’s return but then they realise one of the Others is accompanying him.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 7.35 Match Of The Day 9.00 Sunday AM 10.00 Heaven And Earth With Gloria Hunniford 11.00 Countryfile 12.00pm The Politics Show 1.00 Wildlife On One 1.10 Cash In The Attic 2.10 ‘Allo ‘Allo! 2.35 Diagnosis Murder 3.20 EastEnders 5.10 Lifeline 5.20 Points Of View 5.35 Songs Of Praise

6.00am Teletubbies 6.30 Balamory 6.50 Step Inside 7.00 Batfink 7.10 Legend Of The Dragon 7.30 Smile 10.00 Something For The Weekend 11.30 FILM: The Last Voyage (1960) 1.00pm Rugby Union: Adelaide Sevens 2.10 Rugby Union: AngloWelsh Final 4.40 Rugby Union: Premiership Highlights 5.20 Meerkat Manor 5.45 Meerkat Manor

6.00am GMTV 9.55 Pocoyo 10.05 Jim Jam And Sunny 10.20 The Championship 11.20 ITV News; Weather 11.25 Meridian News And Weather 11.30 F1: Bahrain Grand Prix Live 2.40pm Bennett’s British Superbike Championship 4.10 Planet’s Funniest Animals 4.30 Grease Is The Word 5.30 Steve Irwin Special: Ocean’s Deadliest

6.05am Making It 6.10 The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Trans World Sport 7.55 Velux 5 Oceans Ultimate Solo Challenge 8.20 New Shoots: Films From Disabled Directors 8.50 Popworld 9.35 Hollyoaks Omnibus 12.10pm Shipwrecked 2007: The Hut Cam Diaries 12.45 Musicool 1.50 Pussycat Dolls Present: The Search For The Next Pussycat Doll 2.55 The OC 3.55 Ugly Betty 4.55 Deal Or No Deal 5.40 Scrapheap Challenge

6.00am Tickle 6.25 Franny’s Feet 6.40 Sailor Sid 6.45 Clangers 6.55 Franklin 7.25 Mist 7.35 Little Princess 7.45 Noddy 8.00 Harry (x2) 8.30 The Book Of Pooh 9.00 Ebb & Flo 9.05 Peppa Pig 9.15 Fifi & The Flowertots 9.30 Jane And The Dragon 10.00 Property Developing Abroad 11.00 Build A New Life In The Country 12.00pm Divine Designs 12.35 Tim Marlow On... Hogarth With Ian Hislop 1.20 Five News Update 1.25 Killer Swarms 2.25 FILM: Flaming Feather (1952) 3.50 FILM: To Catch A Thief (1955) 5.50 Five News 6.05 FILM: My Girl 2 (1994) Guaranteed less of a weep fest since ole’ Macauly kicked the bucket.

8.00 Grey’s Anatomy A face from Derek and Addison’s past arrives in Seattle to shake things up. Burke learns Cristina’s secret. After a visit from her mother, Meredith looks into her family’s secret history.

9.00 Grey’s Anatomy Meredith and George are at odds at work. Bailey treats Addison for an unusual feminine issue. Alex is jealous when Izzie pays more attention to Denny.

10.00 FILM: Killing Me Softly (2001) Starring Heather Graham, Joseph Fiennes, Natascha McElhone, Ian Hart, Ulrich Thomsen and Jason Hugues. Thriller. A designer leaves her nice boyfriend and ordinary life behind when she forms a dangerously obsessive bond with a mysterious mountaineer, who turns out to have some secrets.

12.00am Laureus Sports Awards A-list sports stars and Hollywood celebrities gather at a gala event in Barcelona to name the top individual and team performances of the year.

1.00 Major League Baseball 4.15 101 Greatest Knockouts 4.45 Major League Soccer

6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 7.00 LIVE Motor Racing: A1 Grand Prix 9.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly 10.00 Jimmy Hill’s Sunday Supplement 11.00 Goals On Sunday 1.00pm Ford Super Sunday 3.30 LIVE FA Cup Football 6.30 LIVE Spanish Football 10.15 Ford Football Special 11.15 Football League Review 12.15am FA Cup Football 1.15 Spanish Football 3.15 FA Cup Football 4.15 Close

6.10 Antiques Roadshow Michael Aspel discovers a small pottery owl valued in the tens of thousands.

7.00 Castaway 7.35 BBC News 8.00 Play It Again See Highlights.

9.00 Superstorm In the near future a a team of scientists are given clearance to fly into a small hurricane and seed it with silver iodide to try divert and weaken the storm.

10.00 BBC News 10.15 Extras In pursuit of credibility Andy takes a role in a play directed

by Ian McKellen, a two-hander called A Month of Summers. If only his agent had told him it was about gay lovers.

10.45 3lbs US medical drama series.

Hanson has to perform a difficult operation on a patient which involves freezing her heart.

11.30 Cricket World Cup Highlights 12.30am FILM: Murder In Mind (1997) Psychological thriller. Accused of the cold-blooded murder of her millionaire husband, a woman is treated by an eminent hypnotherapist, revealing the darker side to her nature.But are they true?

Hmm never trust a hypnotist.

2.00 Sign Zone: Holby City 3.00 Antiques Roadshow 3.50 Beat The Bailiff 4.35 Joins BBC News 24 5.00 Cricket World Cup Highlights

6.10 Natural World Thirty years ago India set aside over 30 tiger reserves controlled by Project Tiger. However, in recent years hundreds of tigers have been poached from under the officials’ noses.

7.00 Francesco’s Italy: Top To Toe Francesco da Mosto travels the length and breadth of Italy. He discovers why Rome is the Eternal City and goes head to head with Mussolini.

8.00 The Best Of Top Gear Jeremy Clarkson, James May and Richard Hammond present a selection of classic clips from the archives.

9.00 Deer Diary Meet a family of British roe deer and a herd of sika deer, originally introduced from Japan.

9.50 Wild Scotland 10.00 The Science Of Superstorms If Superstorm over on one has left you baffles here’s some more seeding.

10.30 Match Of The Day 2 FA Cup semi-final between Blackburn Rovers and Chelsea at Old Trafford and two Barclays Premiership fixtures.

11.30 Graham Norton Uncut 12.15am Roman’s Empire Royal Tenebaums family styled comedy series.

12.45 Family Guy (x2) 1.30 FILM: Little City (1997) Romantic comedy about love and life. Or rather get some sleep.

6.30 Meridian News And Weather 6.45 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Viv provokes Lisa by trying to get Belle arrested for theft.

7.30 Coronation Street Liz takes her relationship with Derek to the next level.

8.00 The Royal Carnegie attempts to solicit money for the new hospital wing from a wealthy patient and an alcoholic father lets his family down when they need him the most.

9.00 Foyle’s War Foyle’s life is turned upside down when his goddaughter, Lydia, and her traumatised seven-year-old son, James, turn up on his doorstep.

11.00 ITV News; Weather 11.15 F1: Bahrain Grand Prix Highlights Steve Rider presents the best of the action from round three of the championship, from the Bahrain International Circuit.

12.15am The Moral Of The Story Alastair Stewart and a studio panel examine the week’s biggest stories from a moral point of view.

12.40 Faith And Music Paul Heaton, frontman of the hugely successful Beautiful South discusses his atheist views. Sensible views shame about the band.

1.40 ITV Play: Glitterball 4.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 5.00 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.40 Shipwrecked 2007: Battle Of The Islands 7.40 Channel 4 News 8.00 Wife Swap Strict Muslim Nuzhat finds herself confronting a recently come out lesbian.

9.00 FILM: Lost In Translation (2003) Sofia Coppola’s distinctive style epitomises the fish out of water sensation that totally unfamiliar surroundings create. Bill Murray and Scarlett Johansson are fantastic and believable as the lost travellers who through each other find themselves.

10.55 FILM: A Clockwork Orange (1971) Stylised, graphically violent yet utterly original film about a teenage boy who, after leading his gang to commit a series of violent crimes, becomes a guinea pig for the government’s new ‘conditioning’ programme. Dark as they come and considering the world today still has much to say.

1.25am Outside: Lost For Words See Highlights.

2.30 Rockfeedback Sleaze-rockers Eagles of Death Metal. Rock’n’roll like.

3.00 FILM: The End Of Violence (1997) Complex, gripping thriller about a producer of violent, exploitative films who hides out with a Mexican family.

5.00 FILM: The Cicerones (2002) Directorial debut of The League of Gentlemen’s Jeremy Dyson.

5.15 In Your Dreams 5.30 Countdown

Sky Sports 2 6.00am High Altitude 6.30 LIVE European Tour Golf 9.30 Wild Spirits 10.00 Cricket World Cup 11.00 Max Power 12.00pm LIVE Rugby Union 2.00 LIVE Cricket World Cup 8.00 LIVE Cricket World Cup 11.00 Sky Sports Classics 11.30 Sky Sports Classics 12.00am Golf Night 2.30 Close

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Watersports World 7.00 Spanish Football 9.00 WWE Afterburn 10.00 WWE Heat 11.00 Wild Spirits 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Motor Racing: A1 Grand Prix 2.00 European Tour Golf 5.00 Wild Spirits 5.30 Motor Racing: A1 Grand Prix 7.30 Golf Night 10.00 WWE Late Night Afterburn 11.00 WWE Heat 12.00am Rugby Union 2.00 Motor Racing: A1 Grand Prix 4.00 Close

Miranda Glavin

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

12.00pm Robot Wars Extreme 1.00 Stargate Atlantis (x2) 3.00 Relic Hunter 4.00 The Simpsons (x8) 8.00 Dream Team 9.00 24 10.00 Lost. See Highlights. 11.00 Rescue Me 12.00am The Dresden Files 1.00 Battlestar Galactica 1.50 Very Worst... 2.40 Best Of Angel 3.30 Star Trek:(x2)

7.00pm Help! My Dog’s As Fat As Me 7.35 Castaway Exposed 8.00 Doctor Who 8.45 Doctor Who Confidential 9.00 The 34 Stone Teenager: Six Months On 10.00 Panic Room 10.55 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps (x2) 11.55 Rush Hour 12.25am The 34 Stone Teenager: Six Months On

7.00pm Legends: Vera Lynn - Sincerely Yours 8.00 The Lost World Of Mitchell And Kenyon 9.00 The Piano: A Passion 10.00 FILM: The Importance Of Being Earnest (2002) 11.30 Spiral 12.20am The Piano: A Love Affair 1.20 Barenboim On Beethoven 2.20 32 Short Films About Glenn Gould 3.55 Close

1.25pm FILM: Back To The Future, Part III (1990) 3.40 Coronation Street Omnibus 6.00 Vernon Kay’s Gameshow Marathon 7.00 American Idol (x2) 9.00 Supernatural 10.00 FILM: Along Came Polly (2004) 11.45 Coronation Street 12.15am Deadline 1.15 Deadline 2.15 ITV Play: Glitterball

12.15pm The Adventures Of Sherlock Holmes 1.30 Kavanagh QC 3.00 Inspector Morse 5.10 The Casebook Of Sherlock Holmes 6.15 The Magnificent Seven 8.00 Inside The Actors Studio 9.00 FILM: Bonfire Of The Vanities (1990) 11.30 The Vice 12.35am Chancer

2.10pm Popworld 3.00 Young, Sexy And... Rockin’ 4.00 Friends (x2) 5.00 One Tree Hill 6.00 The OC 7.00 Friends (x2) 8.00 Ugly Betty 9.00 Wife Swap: The Aftermath 9.30 ER 10.30 Desperate Housewives 11.30 Porn: A Family Business (x2) 12.45am Wife Swap: The Aftermath 1.20 One Tree Hill

3.10pm Time Team 4.10 FILM: By The Light Of The Silvery Moon (1953) 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 6.55 The Worst Jobs In History 8.00 The West Wing 9.00 The River Cottage Treatment 10.00 Bodyshock: The Man Who Ate His Lover 11.05 Father Ted 11.40 Father Ted 12.10am Sex Secrets And Frankie Howerd 1.15 Close

2.00pm Wild Weddings 2 3.00 FILM: Slap Her, She’s French (2002) 4.50 The Fix 5.00 Extreme: Skinny Celebrities 2 6.00 Top Chef 7.00 The Real Extras 8.00 Extreme Makeover 9.00 CSI: Miami 10.00 Criminal Minds 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am Most Haunted 1.00 The Real Extras

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

5.15pm Jim’ll Fix It Strikes Again 5.45 TV Now And Then 6.25 Some Mothers Do ‘Ave ‘Em 7.00 The Thin Blue Line 7.40 Dinnerladies 8.20 Open All Hours 9.00 Dalziel And Pascoe 10.55 The Catherine Tate Show 11.35 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps 12.15am Dalziel And Pascoe 2.05 Room 101

12.00pm Frasier (x2) 1.00 Becker (x2) 2.00 Frasier (x2) 3.00 Becker (x2) 4.00 Frasier (x2) 5.00 Becker (x2) 6.00 Frasier (x2) 7.00 Becker (x2) 8.00 Frasier (x2) 9.00 South Park (x2) 10.00 Tommy Tiernan Live 11.40 Edinburgh And Beyond 12.40am Badly Dubbed Porn 1.10 Naked And Funny 1.40 Sexy Cam (x2)

12.00pm How It’s Made (x7) 7.00 Engineering The World Rally 8.00 Big Machines 9.00 Lobstermen: Jeopardy At Sea 10.00 World’s Lost Tribes 11.00 Mythbusters 12.00am The FBI Files 1.00 The Real Amityville Horror 2.00 Forensic Detectives 3.00 World’s Lost Tribes

1.00pm A Town Called Eureka (x5) 6.00 The Day Of The Triffids (x6) 9.00 Medium 10.00 Heroes 11.00 Stephen King’s Desperation 12.00am FILM: Emmanuelle 2000: Emmanuelle’s Sensual Pleasures (2000) 1.00 FILM: Ed Gein (2001) 2.35 FILM: Pumpkinhead II: Blood Wings (1994)

12.35pm Hellfighters (1969) 2.40 Bite The Bullet (1975) 4.55 Barefoot In The Park (1967) 6.45 Classics Close Up 7.10 Pal Joey (1957) 9.00 Hellfighters (1969) 11.00 Once Upon A Time In The West (1968) 1.45am Sunday, Bloody Sunday (1971) 3.45 The Great Dictator (1940)

12.00pm Love, Etc (1996) 2.00 Hidden (2003) 4.00 36 (2004) 6.00 The Secret Life Of Earth 6.50 AFI George Lucas Tribute 8.35 Indie Close-Up 9.00 Hidden (2003) 11.00 36 (2004) 12.55am Love, Etc (1996) 2.45 Indie Close-Up 3.10 The Secret Life Of Earth 4.00 Close

1.00pm Call Me Madam (1953) 3.20 Brief Encounter (1945) 5.05 Jungle Book (1942) 7.15 Addams Family Values (1993) 9.00 Equilibrium (2002) 11.00 Black Widow (1986) 1.00am Frenzy (1972) 3.20 Close

12.40pm Forbidden Planet (1956) 2.15 Little Off Set 2.35 Behind The Scenes 3.00 2010 (1984) 5.10 The Ice Pirates (1984) 6.55 Behind The Scenes 7.10 Soylent Green (1972) 9.00 Gremlins (1984) 11.00 Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome (1985) 12.55am Behind The Scenes 1.15 Westworld (1973)

Classics

Indie

055_L7316 Mon 16 Apr.qxd

4/5/07

4:02 PM

Page 1

monday 16 Blue Suede Jew BBC2, 9pm Documentary maker Morgan Matthews goes on an extraordinary journey from the Holy Land to Graceland with Gilles Elmalih ‘The Elvis from Jerusalem’, an Israeli living in the bitterly divided West Bank, who is convinced that Elvis’s music can restore world peace. Yes, along with Bush’s politics.

Dan Cruickshank And The Art In The Canal BBC2, 11.20pm Stealing a piece of famous art is fairly pointless unless you have the connections – imagine going down your local pawn shop with The Scream? So after hundreds of thefts French waiter Stephane Breitweiser was eventually caught and the art ended up in the Rhine-Rhone canal.

America’s Next Top Model Living, 9pm There are few women this hit series doesn’t appeal to and few men that it does. So for the ladies out there, the girls party down in Spain but a Flamenco lesson brings on the waterworks and hypothermia sets in during an icy photoshoot. Something tells me Tyra’s had enough and just wants to dish out some pain.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Missing 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.30 Car Booty 12.15pm Cash In The Attic 1.00 BBC News; Weather 1.30 Regional News And Weather 1.40 Neighbours 2.05 Diagnosis Murder 2.50 Bargain Hunt 3.20 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3.25 Lazytown 3.50 The Likeaballs 4.00 Prank Patrol 4.30 SMart 5.00 Beat The Boss 5.30 Newsround 5.35 Neighbours

6.00am Fimbles 6.20 Story Makers 6.35 Balamory 7.00 Arthur 7.15 ChuckleVision 7.30 Get 100 8.00Tracy Beaker 8.15 Krypto 8.30 Tommy Zoom 8.40 Numberjacks 9.00 Nina 9.15 Lunar Jim 9.25 Me Too! 9.45 Mama Mirabelle’s 10.00 In The Night Garden 10.30 FILM: Russkies (1987) 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Coast: East Coast 1.10 Animal Park 1.55 Escape To The Country 2.55 Through The Keyhole 3.40 Flog It! 4.25 Ready Steady Cook 5.10 Weakest Link 5.55 Party Election Broadcast By The Labour Party 6.00 Eggheads 6.30 Great British Menu 7.00 The Trees That Made Britain 7.30 Johnny Kingdom: A Year On Exmoor Just watch out for those escaped big cats.

8.00 University Challenge It’s the Grand Final, the Mancs vs the Warwicks. Let the fight commence..

8.30 Return To Lullingstone Castle High summer at the Castle and the tourist season is in full swing, but Trevor makes a drastic move to evict Tom from the part of the World Garden that Trevor owns.

9.00 Blue Suede Jew See highlights.

10.00 Ruddy Hell! It’s Harry And Paul Featuring a host of new characters including the Posh Scaffolders, the High Ranking Surgeons, footballer Didier Peskovitch and his manager Jose Arrogantio, the Cafe Polski waitresses, Bono and The Edge, plus many other famous and not-so-famous faces.

10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Dan Cruickshank And The Art In The Canal See highlights.

11.50 FILM: Pollock (2000) Jennifer Connelly and Jeffrey Tambor. Biography about the successes and inner demons of the American artist Jackson Pollock.

The one with all the splots.

1.45am Joins BBC News 24 2.00 Vocational Bitesize (x2)

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 2.00 Midsomer Murders 4.00 Daily Cooks 5.00 The Royal

6.15am The Treacle People 6.25 The Hoobs (x2) 7.15 Freshly Squeezed 7.45 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.15 Just Shoot Me (x2) 9.10 Frasier 9.40 Will And Grace 10.10 ER (x2) 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 3 Minute Wonder: Heavy Petting 12.35 FILM: The Court Martial Of Billy Mitchell (1955) 2.25 Life Begins Again 3.30 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The Paul O’Grady Show

6.00am Save-Ums! 6.10 Fifi & The Flowertots 6.25 Franny’s Feet 6.40 Clangers 6.45 Funky Town 6.50 Milkshake! Show 7.20 The Beeps 7.30 Little Princess 7.45 Noddy 8.00 Fifi & The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.40 Old Bear Stories 8.50 Mio Mao 9.00 Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 News 12.00pm Home & Away 12.30 The C.H.A.O.S. Clinic 1.00 HouseBusters 1.30 FILM: Emergency! (1972) 3.20 News 3.25 FILM: Perry Mason Returns (1985) 5.30 News 6.00 Home And Away Sally remembers who attacked her.

6.30 Two And A Half Men 7.00 Five News 7.15 The Gadget Show 8.00 Super Typhoon: Perfect Disaster Speculative documentary, featuring CGI effects, expert interviews and dramatisations. The Pacific breeds the most powerful hurricanes on earth. The 7 million inhabitants of Hong Kong have never yet felt their full power, but a change in the weather means the most powerful force of nature is heading their way.

9.00 Three In A Bed: Hidden Lives It might be every man’s fantasy (and a fair few women’s) but could you cope with it as your daily routine? John shares his wife Shanea with Noel, who also has a child with her. Funnily everyone seems to be Welsh or Aussie.

10.00 Prison Break 11.00 FILM: Evil Woman (2001) Comedy about a couple of dim former high school buddies – and Neil Diamond fans.

12.50am USPGA Golf 1.40 NASCAR Nextel Cup 2.30 NHL Ice Hockey 5.10 French Football – Le Championnat

6.00am Football League Review 7.00 WWE The Bottom Line 8.00 Cricket World Cup 9.00 Football League Review 10.00 Cricket World Cup 11.00 Ford Football Special 12.00pm FA Cup Football 1.00 Cricket World Cup 2.00 LIVE Cricket World Cup (x2) 11.00 Sky Sports Classics 11.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 12.30am FA Youth Cup Final 2.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 3.00 You’re On Sky Sports 4.30 Close

6.00 BBC News And Weather 6.30 South East Today; Weather 7.00 Mission Africa The volunteers have less than a week left before the game reserve is to open.

7.30 Shopping The Supermarkets 8.00 EastEnders Garry is uneasy about the connection between Minty and Garry’s mother. Ew. 8.30 Panorama 9.00 New Tricks Pullman’s infuriating mother Grace needs to go into a home, but the one she has chosen has recently had a suspicious and unsolved death.

Barred by Strickland from officially investigating the case, Pullman reluctantly agrees to let the boys go undercover in the home.

10.00 BBC News 10.35 Sleep Clinic The team decide whether 19-year-old Robert is the laziest teenager in Britain or whether he genuinely has a sleep disorder. I’m hedging my bets on the former.

11.05 Cricket World Cup Highlights 12.05am FILM: Play Dirty (1969) World War II drama, ironic ending.

2.05 Sign Zone: Top Gear 3.05 Timewatch 3.55 Beat The Bailiff 4.40 Joins BBC News 24 5.00 Cricket World Cup Highlights

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.25 Party Election Broadcast

By The Labour Party 6.30 ITV Evening News 7.00 Emmerdale Jimmy saves Roxy from choking to death.

7.30 Coronation Street Tragedy strikes at Underworld.

8.00 Tonight With Trevor McDonald Headline-making investigations and exclusive interviews with Trevor McDonald and the Tonight team.

8.30 Coronation Street Are the Connors in the clear?

9.00 Diamond Geezer A glamorous ex-MI6 agent approaches Des with a story about lost KGB gold, which leads the crafty con-man into a shadowy world of spies, doubledealing and Cold War secrets.

10.30 ITV News; Weather 11.00 The Dame Edna Treatment 12.00am Champions League Weekly 12.30 ITV Play: Glitterball 4.05 ITV At Reading 2005 Foo Fighters, Marilyn Manson, Dropkick Murphys, All American Rejects, Turbonegro and Alkaline Trio.

5.00 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder: Lee Kern’s A To Z... Of God Filmmaker Lee Kern explores religion by travelling to streets with holy names.

8.00 Ghetto Britain Dr Robert Beckford investigates the impact of the Race Relations Act, passed 30 years ago this year.

9.00 Cutting Edge: Meet The Foxes 10.00 ER 11.05 The Sopranos Tony hosts a banquet at Vesuvio’s to celebrate `new blood’ in Jersey and New York.

Chances are some will be spilled too.

12.15am Sex And The City When Carrie and her friends head to Staten Island to judge the New York City Fire Department’s `Calendar Contest’, Samantha fulfils her fireman fantasy, Charlotte believes she has found her knight in shining armour, and Miranda realises that being rescued is not always a sign of weakness.

12.50 Sex And The City 1.25 Six Feet Under David struggles with a clogged-up plumbing system.

In a morgue that isn’t good news.

2.15 4 Music: Transmission With T-Mobile Bloc Party, Klaxons and The Enemy.

3.15 The Yellow House 4.45 Empires Of Stone 5.45 Great Civilisations

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 On The Edge 7.00 Motor Racing: A1 Grand Prix 9.00 British Superbikes 12.30pm LIVE Sailing: America’s Cup 5.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 5.30 Football League Review 6.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 7.30 LIVE FA Youth Cup Final 10.00 You’re On Sky Sports 11.30 Speedway: Elite League 1.30am Sailing: America’s Cup 2.30 World Motor Sport 5.00 Close

Sky Sports 3 6.30am Golf Night 9.00 Rugby Union 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Fishing: Bass Fishing 1.00 Spanish Football 3.00 Ford Football Special 4.00 FA Cup Football 5.00 WWE Raw 7.00 Wild Spirits 7.30 LIVE Speedway: Elite League 9.30 Sailing: America’s Cup 10.30 On The Edge 11.00 WWE Late Night Afterburn 12.00am Extreme Championship Wrestling 1.00 WWE Heat 2.00 WWE Late Night Raw 4.15 Close

Miranda Glavin

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

3.05pm Brainiac: Science Abuse 4.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 6.00 Stargate Atlantis 7.00 The Simpsons (x4) 9.00 Ross Kemp: Teenage Gangs Of South London 10.00 FILM: An American Werewolf In London (1981) 11.55 Cold Case 12.55am Naked In Blackpool 1.50 Uncut! The Villa 2.40 Battlestar Galactica

7.00pm Castaway 7.30 Spendaholics 8.30 Help!

My Dog’s As Fat As Me 9.00 Little Britain 9.30 Ideal 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Rush Hour 11.00 Jonathan Ross’s Japanorama 11.30 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps (x2) 12.30am American Dad (x2) 1.10 Rush Hour

7.00pm People’s Century 8.00 The World 8.30 The Phoenix And The Carpet 9.00 Edwardian Supersize Me 10.00 Smiley’s People 11.00 Spiral 11.50 Edwardian Supersize Me 12.50am The Bad Food Guide 1.50 When Britain Went Bananas 2.50 Edwardian Supersize Me 3.50 Close

12.30pm Emmerdale 1.00 Emmerdale 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.40 The Ricki Lake Show 4.25 Sally Jessy Raphael 5.15 Airline USA 5.45 Judge Judy 7.00 Grease Is The Word 8.00 Greased Lightnin’ 9.00 FILM: Along Came Polly (2004) 10.45 Coronation Street (x2) 11.50 FILM: Ali G Indahouse (2002) 1.25am ITV Play

12.55pm Lovejoy 2.00 Never The Twain 2.30 Tales Of The Unexpected 3.00 Cagney And Lacey 4.00 Pie In The Sky 5.05 Quantum Leap 6.05 Rising Damp 6.40 Film File 6.50 Lovejoy 8.00 Amanda Holden: Really Wild At Heart 9.00 Numb3rs 10.00 Rose And Maloney 11.00 Bad Girls 12.05am Lovejoy

12.00pm Nothing But...

Pecs On The Beach 1.00 John Travolta Is The Word 2.05 Switched 2.35 One Tree Hill 3.35 Smallville 4.30 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 The War At Home 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 100 Greatest: The Ultimate Chart 12.05am Scrubs (x2) 1.05 Smallville

2.00pm ER 3.00 Third Watch 4.00 FILM: Where Angels Go Trouble Follows (1968) 5.45 3 Minute Wonder: Beside The Seaside (x4) 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 More4 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 Relocation, Relocation 10.00 Wedding Belles 12.00am NYPD Blue

1.00pm Will And Grace (x2) 2.00 Bewitched (x2) 3.00 Close To Home 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model.

See Highlights.7.00 The X Files 8.00 Top Chef 9.00 America’s Next Top Model 10.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (x2) 12.00am The X Files 1.00 America’s Next Top Model

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

5.00pm One Foot In The Grave 5.40 Some Mothers Do ‘Ave ‘Em 6.20 Keeping Up Appearances 7.00 The Thin Blue Line 7.40 One Foot In The Grave (x2) 9.00 Only Fools And Horses 11.00 Men Behaving Badly (x2) 12.20am Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps 1.00 Men Behaving Badly (x2) 2.15 Room 101

3.00pm Two And A Half Men (x2) 4.00 King Of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Less Than Perfect (x2) 7.00 Scrubs (x2) 8.00 That 70s Show (x2) 9.00 Stacked (x2) 10.00 Sex And The City 10.35 South Park (x2) 11.35 Comedy Blue 12.05am Jack Dee Live At The Apollo 1.05 Sex And The City

1.00pm Deadliest Catch 2.00 The FBI Files 3.00 Forensic Detectives 4.00 Time Team 5.00 How It’s Made (x2) 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 Mythbusters 8.00 How Do They Do It? 8.30 How It’s Made 9.00 American Chopper 10.00 Engineering The World Rally 11.00 Salvage Squad 12.00am The FBI Files

11.00am FILM: Avalanche (1994) 1.00pm Star Trek 2.00 The Lost World 3.00 FILM: Terror Peak (2003) 5.00 Tru Calling 6.00 The Lost World 7.00 Roswell 8.00 Tru Calling 9.00 Medium 10.00 Heroes 11.00 FILM: Fight Club (1999) 1.40am FILM: Mindwarp (1991) 3.30 Psychic Detectives

1.50pm Invasion Of The Body Snatchers (1956) 3.35 A King In New York (1957) 5.35 The Creature From The Black Lagoon (1954) 7.05 Classics Close Up 7.30 Evil Of Frankenstein (1964) 9.00 The Odessa File (1974) 11.10 The Abominable Dr Phibes (1971) 12.50am One Of Our Aircraft Is Missing (1942)

12.00pm The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou (2004) 2.00 Les Diaboliques (1955) 4.00 House Of Flying Daggers (2004) 6.00 China’s Hollywood 7.00 The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou (2004) 9.00 Before Sunset (2004) 10.25 House Of Flying Daggers (2004) 12.30am Les Diaboliques (1955)

1.00pm American Madness (1932) 2.30 Mr Smith Goes To Washington (1939) 5.00 His Majesty O’Keefe (1953) 6.55 Made In America (1993) 9.00 The Day After Tomorrow (2004) 11.20 Psycho (1998) 1.20am Martin Lawrence Live: Runteldat 3.30 Close

6.45am The Miniver Story (1950) 8.30 Till The Clouds Roll By (1946) 11.00 The Picture Of Dorian Gray (1945) 1.00pm It Happened At The World’s Fair (1963) 3.00 Vengeance Valley (1951) 4.35 Double Trouble (1967) 6.20 Cimarron (1960) 9.00 Shaft (1971) 10.55 Hit Man (1972) 12.35am The Walking Stick (1970)

Classics

Indie