Latest 7 Issue 317: 17-23 April

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4/13/07

10:48 AM

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www.latest7.co.uk

latest

Cars The weekly listings and TV guide 17–23 April 2007 FREE

£15,990

£9,990 from tempest4cars see page 4

on the radio! latest soup 97.2FM mon-fri 4-6pm

square deal join café society at the square

latest

jobs highly paid professional positions web manager william reed publishing see page 49

sting in the tale on tour with the maccabees

great escapism lose yourself in music

part-time secretary woodingdean see page 48

000_LS317_BrightonCentre

4/12/07

4:11 PM

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4/13/07

11:45 AM

latest 7 5 Cars

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contents 22 Food

A new model as the Fiat 500 turns 50

6 Social diary

Dining at the Hind’s Head Hotel in Bray

24 Latest hot list

Celebrating Karma while Alan B’ Stard MP meets his public

Our top restaurants, cafés and bars

Caesar Twins

25 Recipe 7 What Katie says

Udder worldly

A guide to the GL diet and health plan

Just Jack and a fickle thing called fame

28 Cinema 8 Eminemmylou

Local screenings reviewed and rated

Rap and the spoken word

30 Music 8 Dani’s diary

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From The Jam and other music news

Is King Henry VIII alive in modern man?

32 Radio Reverb 8 Backlash

Connecting people by the forces of radio

Clucking hens in stilettos cause grief

32 Foxy Mamma Malone 9 In depth

Unwanted attention on public transport

The Maccabees on their year ahead

33 Nightlife 10 Celebcity

Upcoming club nights and late bars

Charlie Dimmock sighted and G4 go their separate ways

34 Gay Plans for Brighton’s Alternative Panto

11 Competitions Win a signed copy of the Hot Fuzz CD

35 Theatre Ballet, confessions and the Bard

11 Crossword Cryptic or quick? The choice is yours

37 Events and kids A submarine experience at Brighton’s Sea Life Centre

13 Cover feature Dining at Brighton’s newest café, The Square, in the heart of the Lanes

38 Art A new artwave with Persona

14 Bare cheek Relationship problems solved

39 Latest listings The hottest tickets for the week ahead

14 Stars The week ahead with Astral Angi

40 Reviews Casting a critical eye over recent shows

15 Stand-up comedy Comedy club nights take over Brighton

41 Day-by-day guide

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Our complete guide to local gigs, clubs, comedy, theatre and family events

15 Marc the vet Train your dog for everyone’s safety

47 Venue directory 17 The Great Escape

Our guide to local venues

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A plethora of musical talent set for May

48 Latest jobs 19 Brighton Festival

Top new positions every week

Planned festivities at the Brighton Dome

52 Latest TV 21 Health Hands-off healing for added relaxation

Complete television listings guide, must-see TV movies and Dani on TV

01273 818150 Editor Bill Smith Business Director Angi Mariani Advertising Director Lynne Edwards Creative Director Andrew Kay Production Director Fiona McTernan Finance Manager Sharon Caple Art Director Stephen King Production Manager Neil Ive Advertising Manager Kate Knight Website Manager Paul Burgess

Production Editor Victoria Nangle

Music Editor Jeff Hemmings

Production Assistant Zara Friend

Staff Writers Matt Chittock Craig Driver Katie Glass Miranda Glavin

Chief Sub-editor Wendy McAngus Senior Sub-editor Philippa Smith Sub-editors Ashley Bird Hayley Carmichael Joe Curtin Jim Holland Billy Imrie Colette Meacher Designers Anand Day Peter Knight Jamie Powell Steve Sawyer

Advertising Sales Rhoda Barker Emma Burton Administration Heather Holland Claire Peerless Stefan Reszczynski Latest Homes Unit 1, Level 5 North New England House New England Street Brighton BN1 4GH

Editorial: editorial@thelatest.co.uk Advertising: lynne@thelatest.co.uk

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There’s lots going on, so be sure to go Udderbelly up this May Hooves up – who’s seen the pictures of the upside-down cow, the Udderbelly, coming to graze on the Old Steine in Brighton for the whole of May? The Udderbelly programmes have hit the streets, and now’s a good time to snap up the tickets, before you get trampled underfoot. One thing you can’t miss out on are the awesome Caesar Twins, the two good-looking Polish twins who ran away to the circus as youngsters, never to look back.

Well actually, they can look every which way, being extremely double or is that quadruplejointed. Their acrobatic feats and underwater gymnastics are mesmerising.

There are special preview shows on 7–9 May for £10 or book tickets at £16/£14 for the other dates throughout May on 01273 709709 or online at www.udderbelly.co.uk or www.brightonfestivalfringe.org.uk. See the Udderbelly brochure for dates and details.

Other (or is that udder?) Udderbelly highlights include Pluck – Musical Arson on 6–7 May, Priorite à Gauche – Remastered on 5 May, Jerry Sadowitz on 7 May, the beautiful young Tina C with If you can’t live without me (why weren’t you dead when I met you?) on 9–11 May, and the equally beautiful and older Ida Barr with Slipped Disco, afternoon bingo on 13 May. You can have comedy with the best standup ever (well actually, 41st Best Stand-Up Ever) with Stewart Lee on 21 May, or you can have musical depth and darkness with This Way For the Gas, Ladies & Gentlemen, by the Life and Death Orchestra on 22–27 May, an astonishing musical about Darfur and the Holocaust, with we’re told, a guest appearance (on film) by George Clooney.

“The Fringe is becoming known as the best place to win prizes in town,” says Holly Payton of the Brighton Festival Fringe. “So far this year they have given out 100s of excellent gifts already.

“Currently available to win on the Fringe website is a hamper from Sussex In The City. You win it by guessing how many pairs of shoes Chris, the site’s webmaster owns.

You can also win £100 of Borders vouchers by just giving your opinions on the Fringe.

But if you’re an artist and your exhibiting in the Fringe you could be up for winning the biggest prize of all, a big fat lump sum in the prestigious Visual Arts Prize award. Look out for the winners of that.”

There will be many more prizes given away in the run-up to the Festival, so keep an eye on www.brightonfestivalfringe.org.uk.

What are you waiting for? Get a moo-ve on and get into the festival groove. latest 7 3

005_LS317_cars

4/11/07

5:04 PM

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latest

CARS

Cars

Birthday party Fiat is celebrating the 50th anniversary of the Fiat 500 with a new model. Simon Asphar discovers it’s a party on four wheels Some cars go down in history for their technological or styling innovations. Others deserve to be remembered for the role they have played in the daily life of an entire generation or an entire country. Few succeed in combining the two: technology and sentiment. They leave an indelible mark, becoming an icon of their age. A bit like Stephen Hawking.

The original Fiat 500 is one of these. In a career lasting 18 years, from 1957 to 1975, exactly 3,893,294 were built (counted them all), and it helped Italians and numerous other Europeans to satisfy a need for individual mobility that began to gain momentum from the early 50s. The 500, even more than the 600 (1955), also brought the end of the postwar emergency period for motorisation and the automotive industry in Italy, and the start of the striving for comfort, albeit minimal and economical. At the time of the 500, the country of the ‘poor but beautiful’ became less poor, but above all, able to move around more freely.

The 500 also concluded the rebirth of Fiat, and of its product range, after the devastation of the Second World War. Dante Giacosa, the ‘father’ of the 500, but also of the previous 500 Topolino and of numerous other models, said in his book Progetti alla Fiat prima del computer (Design At Fiat Before The Computer), that when the 500 was launched on 4 July 1957, Fiat “realised its programme of renewing its models, to replace those born before the Second World War.” At two-year intervals, the 1400, 1900, 1100 and the 500 and their derivatives were launched on the international market. In just 10 years, Fiat had conceived and begun the manufacture of four completely new basic models that had their roots in the technological culture that had grown up in its own offices and laboratories. Fifty years after

that summer of 1957, in an age when television is even available on mobile phones, with shots and reports from all over the world, it is entertaining to read that the launch was held in great style, as national television installed itself in the Mirafiori workshop on a boiling hot evening in July.

Eighteen years after that ‘boiling hot evening in July’, during which time almost 3.9 million cars were built, another very hot day dawned, 4 August 1975, the day on which the ‘last’ car, at least of the 1957-75 Nuova Fiat 500 series, was built. This summer, on 4 July 2007, exactly 50 years to the day from its original launch, and once again in Turin, the company will be presenting its new Fiat 500, which will go on sale immediately after the launch. This new car will also mark an important cycle of revival for Fiat.

Developed by the Fiat Style Centre and manufactured in Fiat’s Tychy plant in Poland, the new 500 is a 3-door model with very compact measurements: 355cm long, 165cm wide, 149cm tall and a wheelbase of 230cm. Produced with three engine options: a 75 bhp 1.3 16v MultiJet turbodiesel and two petrol engines, a 69 bhp 1.2 8v and a 100 bhp 1.4 16v, with five or six speed manual gearboxes, the new Fiat 500 is designed to be notably entertaining to drive.

The new car’s arrival confirms Fiat’s undisputed leadership in this category – a result of the company’s extraordinary heritage of technical, design and human experience accumulated over more than a century – and the new Fiat 500 takes a quality leap forward in terms of comfort and safety, technology and equipment for this segment.

The new Fiat 500 is the most up-to-date solution for motorists who enjoy their car in complete freedom, and appreciate it for day-today use, but also wish to drive a vehicle that is entertaining and practical, environmentally

“The new Fiat 500 is designed to be notably entertaining to drive”

friendly and accessible, but also appealing and full of fun. The new Fiat 500 will go on sale in the UK early next year. With its funky, retro styling it’s the perfect celebration of the Fiat 500’s fiftieth. Happy birthday. Or buon compleanne as they say in Turin.

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006_LS317_Diary

4/12/07

12:02 PM

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LATESTDIARY

latestdiary With Tim Richardson

Good karma The seductive Moroccan-themed venue, Karma, celebrated their third birthday in fine style at Brighton Marina on Friday 6th April. Visitors were greeted at the door by the adorable Miss Marilyn Slightly, but only after they had weaved their way through an amazing display of fire-eaters and acrobat entertainers. Strawberry Champagne and delectable nibbles were only the beginning of the festive evening, as the DJ mixed-up some cool ambient tunes that continued late into the evening.

A B’Stard politician you can believe If you were in the vicinity of The Theatre Royal on Tuesday 3rd April, then you might have been accosted by the impeccably pinstriped Alan B’Stard (aka Rik Mayall). Direct from a sell-out West End run, he was doing a walkabout on the streets of Brighton to promote the brand new instalment of The New Statesman – Episode 2007. If you missed this year’s performances at the Theatre Royal Brighton, then you really, really did miss out!

Verity Smart (Karma) and Paul Craig (Karma)

Marilyn Slightly

Maddie Bridgett (Maddie Live) and Will Waghorn

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If you have an event you would like featured please email editorial@thelatest.co.uk

007_LS317_Katie

4/11/07

2:22 PM

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KATIE’S COLUMN

What Katie says Katie sees the dividing line between celebs and the rest of us is becoming ever more blurred

Fame game All week I’ve been humming that Just Jack song, ‘Starz In Their Eyes’. You know, the one that goes: Now why’d you wanna go and put starz in their eyes It’s the same old story, well they just didn’t realise And it’s a long way to come from the dog and duck karaoke machine And Saturday night’s drunken dreams…

It’s great, it’s chirpy, it’s something on the radio while I’m straightening my hair. I liked it. And then I actually listened to the lyrics…

Each of them a bitter bullsh*tter Wrapped up in the cloak of fake glamour, getting lost in the camera Well footprints are fool’s gold, diamond crusts on their one-off plimsolls So little time for these one-off ars*holes Rigor mortis Ken and Barbie dolls A pair of big shades and a pushup bra…

“When Warhol met Big Brother, together they offered all of us our 15 minutes of fame – and quick as we could we took it” Witness Jordon slagging off Jodie, Posh’s hatred of the WAGs, or even Jade’s bitching at Shilpa.

After they’ve cashed in their own ticket to the hall of fame,

Dear Katie Dear Katie, I usually enjoy your witty, intelligent column, but felt I had to comment about your ‘Kids today, eh?‘ article. The kids of today are not something to be proud of, they are rude and in need of a great deal of discipline and order.

I find the youngsters on the buses today intimidating. Why do they feel the need to play their crap rap music at full volume? Why can’t they just put headphones on like they used to? Bring back the bus conductors to get rid of this menace from our buses.

Regards, Toby Morris Katie, Your column last week ‘Demon drinkers?’ was ridiculous.

So you think that women binge drinkers are a sign of women’s financial, personal and sexual independence? If that was really true then there’s never been a better argument against Women’s Lib. T

Image: Chris Ashfield

Hmmm, how original.

When Jack mocks the starryeyed youth, he’s just joining in the chorus from the rest of the world: knocking the new kids scaling their way up the celeb block. Why wouldn’t he?

Clinging perilously to the edge of Heat magazine’s pages, they make pretty easy targets. So, like everyone else, Jack decided to take a pop shot – arrogant enough to ignore the irony that he’s doing it from the vantage point of exactly where they want to be. And how typical.

It’s funny that as vindictive as

the press and the public can be of wannabes, their cruelest critics so often come from the celebrity ranks themselves.

celebrities are queuing up to laugh at anyone else trying to get in the door. It seems that once you’re famous, suddenly there is nothing more distasteful than wanting to be. But that’s hardly surprising is it?

When Warhol met Big Brother, together they offered all of us our 15 minutes of fame – and quick as we could, we took it.

Nietzsche told us G-d was dead.

And, instead of making ourselves in his image, we just assumed his place on the podium.

Facebook, YouTube and MySpace co-conspired to give us all a stab at some kind of celebrity. But, like a gig where the whole crowd storms the stage and there’s no longer an audience left to watch – if we all start playing the fame game who’s going to witness our rise?

The more of us that become celebrities the less the word, or their world, holds any meaning.

It’s not surprising that celebs are scared of what the wannabe generation stands for – the blurring of the boundary between ‘us’ and ‘them’.

Because when we can all reach the stars, what is to be the likely result? That we might just discover they weren’t as shiny as we thought they’d be. Or even, that actually we can all shine just as bright.

Katie, I am finding your inadequacies as a journalist hard to bear.

Many of the journals/blogs I read, write compellingly, for the sake of writing, instead of forcing their biased, bourgeois, apathetic views for money or notoriety (I do not know you). Their controversy arises not from the second-hand, forced opinions of the journalist, but from the subject they present or discuss. And if you were truly ‘Brighton’s most controversial journalist’ then you would give your place to someone who does not have to force their opinions and has something interesting to say.

Yours sincerely, Brendan Curtis-Burton

Comments, queries and general chitchat can be sent to: katie@thelatest.co.uk

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008_LS317_angidani/backlash

4/12/07

4:10 PM

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THE RHYME

Eminemmylou The UK’s first and only rap and spoken word column. This week with Legs MC

At school, I used to fight with conkers, they used to call me scrapper But seriously, Legs MC is speaking out, like any self-respecting rapper Asking questions, not pointing blame, or like the media appointing shame It's right what he's saying and learning how to fight a fair fight is good not learning how to maim

What happened to the old fashioned fights that we used to have? before all these kids were getting stabbed and shooting gats, I used to throw a few punches and it was over, now fights are ending with someone dead or in a coma, and there is no coming back from it, no apologies, justified by TV with its “Glamour-Guns” monopoly, the only truth's the news and even that’s all smoke and mirrors, no-one understands what makes a 15 year old a killer, I reckon its lack of understanding about the value of life, we should be teaching them to fight so they don't have to carry a knife, punchbags in PE, to vent out their frustration, and the media should follow up the childrens education, “But that’s what the teachers for!”, so we pass the buck, so none of us are responsible, “it can't be down to us” well, I’m afraid that it is, we need to speak aloud, it seems the source of all the problems are these kids just reaching out.

Legs MC’s exciting new project, “Cheyne Stokes” will be available by the summer on Latest Records. For more info please visit: www.myspace.com/legsmc

Send rhymes and a pic to: eminemmylou@thelatest.co.uk

The backlash starts here Rose Gunn talks about soft pink tails, fluffy bunny ears, and why all such rabbits should be hunted down A few evenings ago, I had a drink in London with an old TV Agent friend, who told me that she was due to attend her cousin’s hen weekend in Brighton the following weekend. Not being the sort of person who suffers fools gladly, she was anticipating the event with all the horror and dread usually associated with an impending double wisdom tooth extraction, and was indeed rather wishing that she could administer a general anaesthetic in order to get through the event as painlessly as possible.

I too would rather have a minor operation than go to a hen night, and even before they became the tack-stravaganza they are now, I shied away from them – although I do have hazy memories of attending two in one night in the late ‘80s, which must have hammered home the fact that they are – without exception – a load of rubbish. Living in Brighton and often attending nightclubs, I am getting extremely fed up of having to contend with clucking hell on stilettos every Saturday night.

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EMOTIONS

Dani’s diary Dani, former teenage strumpet, has a primary awakening, and reinforces some self-fulfilling paradigms When I was at Primary school I was given the parts of Anne of Cleves and Margaret Thatcher in our end of year six play. I was hugely disappointed with being Anne of Cleves. I wanted to be Anne Boleyn, but that part was given to the girl who got to play Mary in the Nativity play. Worse still, as we had all learned that term, Anne of Cleves was ugly. I was happy with the part of Margaret Thatcher; it had been saved especially for me so I was pretty proud. But the fact I had to play the ugly queen hung over the whole thing like a rain cloud. During the play I had to go on stage and smile adoringly at the kid playing Henry, while he looked disgusted and ordered a divorce. It probably wasn’t all that far from the truth. Henry was, no doubt, played by some kid I had a crush on, and the look he gave to Anne of Cleves was probably one he’d made at me in the past. The funny thing is, remembering the play led me to make a remarkable discovery: Men never change.

“The fact that I had to play the ugly queen hung over the whole thing like a rain cloud” Henry VIII got through six wives, often cheating on one with the next, and finding excuses to either divorce or behead them. And that’s not too far from what happens today, without the beheading obviously!

But women are the same now too. Anne Boleyn was a lady in waiting to Catherine of Aragon, Henry’s first wife, but even that didn’t stop her.

She flirted her little ass off, but withheld sex, knowing that was what would drive the King crazy. And she was right. He wrote her love letters, signing his name in a heart and promising they would marry, while Anne was still a lady in waiting. All his life, he traded one wife in for a younger, prettier version, and each saw it as their chance to be queen.

And it still happens today. Men trade in their long-term girlfriends for fresh new ones, then in a years time, the same things happen. Women are blinded by what’s in front of them, don’t see anyone else in the equation, and therefore hurt people without knowing.

It’s funny how something that we all know about, and that most of us were taught about, can still be seen happening all around us. The only difference is that we now describe the men doing this as having mid-life crises, and the women involved? Sluts! And that’s not really all that different, because many of Henry’s wives were accused of either cheating on him or having previously been sluts.

So having realised that nothing is ever going to change – men will always be led by their peckers and women will most definitely follow – it doesn’t give you much hope does it? We often hear people saying that, back in the day, people stayed married, but how far back would you really have to go to find that?

These freaky, feverish, fluffy-eared fiascos are usually organised so that they are inevitably to be at great expense to all those who are obliged to attend, with the future bride of Funkenstein expecting all her hard-up, credit-crushed mates to fork out for beauty treatments, weekends abroad, T-shirts bearing profoundly idiotic slogans and thousands of drinks. Furthermore, these lacklustre and woundingly predictable events usually take place at least two years before the actual wedding. I’m guessing that the protracted run-up is there so that all vomitstains and STDs picked up on the hen night will be long gone before the Big Day. Furthermore, if the unfortunate Bride To Be did end-up chained naked to railings in Glasgow Central Station, she’d have a good year or so in which to get back.

“I’d rather have a minor operation than go on a hen night” My own hen night was spent the night before my actual wedding day, with my husband to be. We accidentally drank all the champagne we’d bought for the Big Day, went to bed ridiculously late and felt so ill during the ceremony, that my husband almost vomited during the vows. This, I’m afraid set a precedent for the rest of our marriage and I made my husband sick almost every day right up until our divorce 10 years later. Bitter and twisted? No, I’m all for the sanctity of love and marriage, just not for the insanity of walking round in a pair of rabbit ears and a stupid t-shirt on a Saturday night.

009_LS317 Maccabees

4/11/07

4:18 PM

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INDEPTH

Creating a buzz Brighton’s The Maccabees are set to make their mark this year.

Jeff Hemmings met up with Orlando Weeks and Felix White You may have noticed that Brit-pop is back.

But not in the same way as the heavily mediacontrived campaign of a few years ago when Oasis and Blur battled it out à la The Beatles and The Rolling Stones. It’s more organic, widespread and deeper this time round.

Bands and artists like the Arctic Monkeys, Futureheads, Good Shoes, The Kooks, Jamie T and Jack Penate are a part of, and extending, the Great British tradition of pop music – the city street observations, small-town England vignettes, character sketches and the unique English humour, both light hearted and sometimes drily vicious – that has the ‘guitar’ scene being revitalised like at no other time since the new-wave era.

And the quietly confident The Maccabees are another such band who are currently making big waves here and abroad.

Brought up in South London, in and around Clapham Common, Orlando Weeks (vocals), Felix White (guitar), Hugo White (guitar), Rupert Jarvis (bass) and Robert Dylan Thomas (drums) found themselves drawn together in an area known better for the drum and bass and dubstep scenes. “We were the only people in the area who wanted to be in a band,” says Felix. “We dreamt it up, really. We didn’t know how to play, and we made up pretend festivals in my back garden. The neighbours used to tell us to shut up because we were rubbish!”

“All we had was three really out-of-tune guitars and no drummer,” says Orlando. “But there was a lot of performing going on.”

While dreaming about playing in a rock’n’roll band, members of the group were inspired by watching a DVD of vintage performances from the BBC TV programme The Old Grey Whistle Test and watching Martin Scorsese’s film The Last Waltz, about the final performance of The Band. “We saw bands like XTC, Dr Feelgood and Talking Heads for the first time,” says Felix. “Bands with a real genuine quirkiness and edge. We wanted to sound like that.”

Only Felix had played in a band before, with rising star Jack Penate in Jack’s Basement.

“We always thought Jack was going to be a star. Either he was going to be a celebrity or he was going to be nothing,” says Felix.

They all then moved down to Brighton with a view to going to university (only Orlando completed his degree, in illustration at Brighton University) and, soon after, started gigging and released their first single, ‘X-Ray’, which helped them get support slots with the likes of Arctic Monkeys and Maximo Park. They then released a follow-up, ‘Latchmere’ (about the swimming pool in Battersea Park), on the respected indie label, Fierce Panda, which led to a deal with Fiction, who are about to release their debut album, Colour It In. Built around the fast, but intricate guitar playing of the White brothers, and a blistering rhythm section, the band’s overall sound is fully realised by Orlando’s distinctive and powerful warble, and their ability to come up with pop hooks. “I like to write about things I know about,” says Orlando.

It’s very much a band effort – there is a unique chemistry there, much like other bands they admire such as The Clash and The Strokes. “When we started we didn’t know how to play our instruments,” says Orlando.

“We are all self-taught, and our sound has developed organically.” It is a sound both nervy yet tuneful, electrifying yet calm, and it has captured the attention of the media, always on the prowl for the latest cutting-edge indie band with talent.

This year is a very big one for the band. Not only is the debut album being released, but they are just about to set off on a long UK tour, followed by an American jaunt, supporting Bloc Party, and then some festivals during the summer. “It’s all very new and very exciting. We’re going to be in a nice big bus,” says a happy Felix.

“We’ve been touring in a little van up to now, using our guitar cases as duvets,” says Orlando. “And none of us has ever played in America before. It’s going to be amazing.”

And then there’s the increasingly important festival circuit, including the big prize, Glastonbury. “We’ve heard so many things about it, and it’s going to be great not to watch it on TV and hear Jo Wiley say, ’You really should be here!’”

The Maccabees seem like a very tight unit, raucous on occasion, but a band who do things on their own terms. “By the time we recorded the album it was all set in stone, we hardly did any pre-production,” says Felix. “We knew exactly what to do – can you play something better? Can you not play at all, or can you play quieter?” he laughs.

It’s all happened very quickly for The Maccabees, as Orlando points out. “With this kind of thing there is no right or wrong: a lot of it is chance, the right person being at the right show. We do feel lucky and blessed.”

“We have a really good team around us,” chips in Felix. “We do the artwork ourselves, get our friends to make the videos, and we write the songs together. To be honest, those people are as important as the band – our tour manager, the guitar tech, our manager…”

This self-contained virtue of the band is one reason why fans have gravitated towards them. Felix reckons that people like the band because they can see there’s a lot of passion in what they do. They’ve also developed a strong rapport with their audiences. “We get kids at the front of our gigs and they look at us the way I used to look at bands,” says Felix. “It means something to them. And that means something to us.”

The Maccabees will be at The Old Market, Hove on 18 and 19 April, with support from The Rumble Strips, Peggy Sue & The Pirates and Derek Meins. Colour It In will be released on 14 May

“The neighbours used to tell us to shut up because we were rubbish!”

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010_LS317_celebcity

4/12/07

11:57 AM

Page 8

AROUNDTOWN

sponsored by

Celebcity with Jo Brooks

G4 no more Pop opera’s Mr Nice Guys turn on each other!

You might want to take a seat for a moment, because I’m afraid I have a bit of bad news for you: south coast singing sensations G4 have announced that they are splitting up because they can no longer work together.

You may well laugh, but the classically trained quartet have built up a legion of fans as ‘pop-opera’ pioneers, after being runners-up on The X Factor in 2004. Despite the group going on sell-out tours and releasing three platinum-selling albums, niggling personal differences between them have apparently grown to prove insurmountable.

Tenor Ben Thapa recently commented on the split: “We did not want to drag on for another couple of years, growing increasingly resentful of each other. We are still friends and we want to stay friends but we won’t if we carry on in G4.”

The quartet, one of whom hails from rock ’n’ roll Bognor Regis and another from Redhill in Surrey, have been living in each other’s pockets for the best part of five years after meeting at university, busking together, appearing on the ITV series, making and promoting three albums, then touring the world three times.

After a string of heated rows which – according to newspaper reports – have frequently verged on the physical, the four recently went to see their management company to say their fourth tour will be their final one.

According to group member Jon Ansell, from nearby Redhill: “We would be bitterly fighting in the back of a limo, or rowing backstage, and then have to put these fake smiles on for the fans and carry on as if nothing was wrong.”

Tell you what; you never had that sort of trouble with the three tenors.

Mostly because they couldn’t all fit in the back of the same limousine!

It’s Pimm’s o’clock!

Brighton beach must be one of the best places in the country to relax, soak up the sun, and enjoy a refreshing jug of Pimm’s. Which is perhaps why the drinks manufacturer recently picked our fair stretch of coastline as the location for their latest television advert, starring none other than comedian Alexander Armstrong.

The advert, which will be gracing TV screens nationwide from next month, features Mr Armstrong in a traditional Victorian bathing costume surrounded by some very scantily clad ladies.

Perhaps this will help us give our neighbours on Worthing beach a run for their money, after their shingles were also recently featured in an advert, this time for fast-food giant McDonald’s. In the ad, a giant metallic dog was installed on the beach as part of the restaurant chain’s Monopoly promotion.

Spotted!

Flame-haired television gardener Charlie Dimmock, at Brighton Station at the end of the Easter break. The green-fingered goddess, who shot to fame on BBC1’s Ground Force for her eye-catching ‘water features’, was waiting patiently for a train.

These tomatoes are well ‘ard...

An unusual spot from the Falmer village farm shop this week. ExEastEnder Dean Gaffney – AKA the Square’s Robbie Jackson – picking over various fruit and vegetables over the Easter weekend. Makes a change from Martin Fowler’s stall, I’m sure!

Thanks to Fiona from Rottingdean for that little gem.

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Comedy celebrity anagram of the week: Charlie Dimmock = “Chick? I’m old mare!”

Jo Brooks is director of Brighton-based PR company JBPR Ltd, 01273 622555 www.jb-pr.com

To comment on any of these stories or send in any news stories email editorial@thelatest.co.uk

011_LS317_comps/Xword

4/12/07

3:13 PM

Page 3

COMPETITIONSXWORD

In it to win it

latestcrossword

solutions on page 32

Get your hands on these great giveaways!

Hot Fuzz – Signed CD Soundtrack Following a star signing at HMV, Oxford Circus, we have two signed copies of Hot Fuzz – Music From The Motion Picture CD to give away. Signed by Hot Fuzz star/co-writer Simon Pegg, co-writer Edgar Wright and others, this CD is a must-have for every fan of the film. This 22-track collection features music from The Fratellis, Supergrass, the ’Hot Fuzz Theme’ by David Arnold and more. To win one of two signed CD soundtracks, see below for entry details.

Dead Like Me Series 2 – DVD Twentieth Century Fox Home Entertainment have just released the second and final series of Dead Like Me. Series two of the critically acclaimed black comedy sees George struggling to come to terms with the afterlife, while things are not so rosy either back in the world of the living. Features all 15 episodes from the last series.

We have three copies up for grabs. See below for details of how to enter.

Big Nothing – DVD Another prize for Simon Pegg (Hot Fuzz) fans with the release of the hilarious black comedy Big Nothing on DVD. Also starring David Schwimmer (Friends), the story sees Pegg and Schwimmer hatching a ‘fool-proof’ plan to make a million – and pull off the biggest blackmailing scam of the decade! See for yourself the lengths they go to in this fresh comedy that gets away with murder! We have three copies to give away. See below for entry details.

My Bollywood Bride – DVD A romantic comedy starring Jason Lewis (Smith Jerrod from Sex and the City) and based on the true life of writer/producer Brad Listermann. My Bollywood Bride is a delightful summer romance taking us on a journey from LA to Mumbai as we follow the fortunes of an adventure novelist in search of true love. With romance, comedy, dance and action, this is a fantastic feel-good film. To win one of two copies, see below.

We Love Grease – CD/DVD Grease is back and it’s still the word. We have an unmissable giveaway for those who fancy themselves as a Sandy or Danny at home. This complete party package features hit songs from the film on CD, a bonus DVD where you can learn all the dance moves, karaoke versions of ten tracks plus tips on getting the look for a Grease-themed party. So become a Pink Lady or T-Bird, learn the moves and sing along to your favourites. We have three copies to give away. See below for details.

Cryptic 88

9

Quick 88

ACROSS

DOWN

ACROSS

1 Overpricing observed with daylight (7) 5 Container or big hole for the most part (5) 8 Name soldiers going back to Mother (9) 9 No learner PC should have a paunch (3) 10 Tart with Oriental ingredient makes a feast (5) 12 Make monotonous sound with instrument (7) 13 This clue is about a floodgate (6) 14 Sad tripper – not Jack – takes back something from Havana (6) 17 Reminiscence is mostly a pain (7) 19 Find musket in Corfu’s illegal arsenal (5) 21 Captain’s beginning to go downhill (3) 22 Pious girlies cavort about the university (9) 24 There’s a lot of fruit where deer and antelope play (5) 25 Idealist doctor gives me organ transplant (7)

1 Steer into place again (5) 2 Back-chat leads to the sack (3) 3 Good man and I appear in lace that’s loose and flexible (7) 4 No mother may shout about immature people (6) 5 A topping idea! (5) 6 Serve up something sweet after snake and a vegetable (9) 7 Put a stop to crazed rodents being confined to a particular area (7) 11 The learned have had it (9) 13 No charity walk should be without one (7) 15 Leaders of Uruguay, Ghana and Egypt break free from exile (7) 16 Song boy needs a degree of learning at first (6) 18 King out east inhabits a ravine (5) 20 Get new parts for the vanquished (5) 23 Where the electrician’s ’eart is? (3)

1 Unwelcoming (7) 5 Begin (5) 8 Confession (9) 9 Winter hazard (3) 10 Body parts (5) 12 Approximate (7) 13 Oppose (6) 14 Dominion (6) 17 Fishing boat (7) 19 Portable organ (5) 21 Mimic (3) 22 Sweetener (9) 24 Woman (5) 25 Medically calmed (7).

DOWN 1 Shrubland (5) 2 Addition (3) 3 Maintains persistently (7) 4 Evoke (6) 5 Scorch (5) 6 Giving movement (9) 7 Playhouse (7) 11 Show of spite (9) 13 Shine (7) 15 Walked resolutely (7) 16 Builds (6) 18 Sense (5) 20 Covered on the inside (5) 23 Furrow (3).

The Pleasure Drivers – DVD A darkly comic thriller where multiple storylines collide. Set in Los Angeles, The Pleasure Drivers follows a group of nefarious characters seeking out their next fix. These deeply flawed individuals are after instant gratification, but more than anything, they want power over their seemingly hopeless situations. We have two copies to give away.

Entrants must be aged over 18.

Dead Famous Series 2 – DVD Join Gail Porter and paranormal investigator Chris Fleming as they travel across America in search of the world’s most famous celebrity ghosts. Dead Famous – The Complete Series 2 is out now on DVD from Contender Home Entertainment and we have two copies to give away. This three-disc set sees the investigative team unlock the stories of Bonnie and Clyde, John Lennon, Buddy Holly and delves into the mystery surrounding the spooky schoolhouse from Hitchcock thriller The Birds.

To be in with a chance of winning email competitions@thelatest.co.uk with the title of the prize you wish to win in the subject box. Alternatively, write to us at the address at the front of the magazine. Don’t forget to include your name, contact address and number.

To advertise call Kate on 01273 818150

Collection/delivery ordering service for

IKEA goods Tell us what you want, and we’ll deliver it. Simple as that.

No traffic. No queues. No rows. No hassle.

FEARLESS MIKE 01273 711166 As seen on TV.

admin@fearlessmike.com

www.fearlessmike.com

Ask about our flatpack assembly service We are an independent limited company and not part of the Ikea group.

For coverage in this magazine email editorial@thelatest.co.uk

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000_LS317_The Square

4/11/07

1:57 PM

Page 1

013_LS317_thesquare

4/12/07

12:21 PM

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FOOD&DRINK

Hip to be square The Square, in Castle Square, is Brighton’s newest and freshest café If you were going to open a new café in the heart of Brighton’s famous Lanes, what kind of café would you open? Brighton is a seaside town, a family town and a tourist town. It’s also the hippest, most happening place to live in the South East. For years its pubs, bars, restaurants and nightlife have reflected that.

But Brighton is also baby-boom central, with a massive number of families with young children. Those same hip clubbers of the last 20 years have grown up to become parents and business people.

Enter The Square: a cafe that doesn’t pretend to be re-inventing the wheel. On the contrary, it seems intent on taking us back to a time when a café was a place where it was OK to take the kids and simply sit with a coffee or a Coke under no pressure to eat.

There is – of course – food on offer too, though. A good selection of premium quality dishes, in fact, from filled freshly baked baguettes to a variety of freshly baked pasties, with cakes, pastries, muffins and cookies too.

Add to this a wide range of coffees, teas and tissanes and a good selection of wines and beers, juices, soft drinks and smoothies.

The Square also embraces a concept that is popular in Australia, that of staying open late.

How often do you leave the cinema or theatre and fancy a coffee, but don’t want to go into a pub or bar? It’s particularly difficult in the summer, when you have children along with you, to find a suitable place to stop and relax and have a drink or a light snack rather than a full meal. The Square aims to be the answer to that problem.

Occupying a pretty Castle Square property – in the past home to a jewellers and a pub – the

The Square is the first in a series of similar venues that this new company will be opening across the south. The business will be based and run from Brighton and already they have plans to open in Hastings, Windsor, the New Forest and Oxfordshire. “We will start with four and our target is to have 16 to 20,” they explain. “But we do not see this as a franchise operation. Each of our Squares will be run to suit the specific needs of its location, and the demands of the local clientele. There is no blueprint formula for making this work, just a belief that there is a public out there who want a relaxed, alternative place to meet.”

The Square, 28 East Street, Brighton. Call 01273 773327

“It is our vision to change the eating culture” new owners have completely refitted the building in a smart and traditional style. Period details have been retained and the chic monochrome look stands out in this busy city centre meeting place. With seats for over 40 inside and masses of outdoor seating in good weather, waiter service, quality foods and a welcome for all, The Square promises to become a destination for anyone seeking refuge throughout the day.

The owners are also keen to emphasise their quality, affordable lunches for busy business people with little time for a full restaurant lunch. All of their baguettes will be made to order, ensuring freshness. “We aim to raise the standard and we are confident that we can do that,” they say. “It is our vision to change the eating culture.”

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014_LS317_cheeky/stars

4/12/07

1:08 PM

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ONLY JOKING!

Bare cheek Brian Mitchell and Joseph Nixon’s thoroughly scurrilous Brighton column

In & Out IN • Babylon Zoo • Ed Begley Jr • Referring to your genitalia as ‘the crown jewels’ • Ethelred the Unready • Sassafras

OUT • Kingmaker • Ed Begley Sr • Bert Rigby, You're A Fool • Scratching your arse with a pencil, fork, or similar • Gumboils

Spotted with Galactus Paying for her petrol and a newspaper with a gold credit card in a Hove garage… pathetic human Cheryl Tweedy.

Walking down Western Road in a smart new leather jacket… paltry and foolish earthling Ross Kemp.

Talking loudly on a mobile phone while queuing outside Wagamama… insignificant mortal, who is lower than a worm to me, Christopher Biggins.

Looking at properties around Kemp Town… chisel-cheeked heart-throb and trivial life form, who is to me as an infinitesimal speck of dust, Mark Owen from Take That.

Looking at engagement rings in a Lanes jewellers (sorry girls!)… singer-songwriter James Blunt, the passing of whose life is, to one such as I as, the single beat of a butterfly’s wing. Ha! All shall bow down before me for I am Galactus, eater of planets. See you next week for more celeb gossip!

Ask Uncle Nick Nick Cave is back to solve all your relationship problems Dear Uncle Nick, My husband’s always been very workoriented, but lately he’s got much worse. He missed our anniversary because he was away at a meeting, and the so-called ‘romantic weekend’ in Paris he arranged to make up for it was ruined by him being constantly on his mobile and laptop. I’m sick of it, to be frank. What should I do?

Ms l, Portslade Uncle Nick says: Strewth! This drongo sounds like he needs a swift bash in the jatz crackers with a heavy object, possibly a billabong. What a galah! Although, to be fair, he might feel that he has to work so hard in order to provide for you. I suggest that you switch off the phone, unplug the laptop, and sit down together for a nice chat about your feelings. If that doesn’t work, there’s always that kick in the nuts.

Dear Uncle Nick, Since giving up smoking late last year, I’ve really started to pile on the pounds. From hints she’s dropped I think my girlfriend finds me less attractive like this. Should I go on a diet for the sake of my relationship?

DM, Hove

Uncle Nick says: Strewth! Listen mate, I’ll let you into a little secret. When I was writing my celebrated novel, And The Ass Saw The Angel (available for only £7.99 from all good – and some bad – bookshops, Cave fans!), I wasn’t getting much exercise, and I was eating a lot of junk food – choccy bars and the like. I was particularly fond of Wagon Wheels. Remember them?

Anyway, by the end of chapter five I was like a bleeding keg on legs.

Elisabeth Recker, my girlfriend of the time, took to referring to me as ‘Fatty Cave’ and intimating that the name of my band The Birthday Party was appropriate because I looked like I’d eaten the entire cake. Well I wasn’t going to put up with that, so I cut out the Wagon Wheels and took up jogging, and I was back to my old slim self in a jiffy. So my answer is – yeah, go on a diet, you bludger. Not only will your old lady fancy you again, but you’ll feel more attractive and improve your self esteem. So get to it, chubby!

Dear Uncle Nick, I cheated on my wife and she found out. Now she’s left me – I’ve tried everything to get her back but she refuses even to see me. What can I do?

PK, Brighton Uncle Nick says: Strewth! Rearrange the following words, mate – galah, are, a, you. You’ve screwed up, sunshine. You’ve betrayed the sacred bond of trust between a man and his missus. You are a drongo.

And a bludger. And most definitely a galah. There’s only one thing you can do to get this woman back – record an album of dark, brooding love songs (or possibly even murder ballads) full of intense and violent imagery about her.

She’ll be back peeling the spuds before you can say Jim Robinson. Trust me.

Well cobbers – I’d best be off to do the ironing. See you later!

STARS

Astral Angi ★ Your week ahead ★

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ARIES (MAR 21–APR 20)

CANCER (JUNE 22–JULY 22)

LIBRA (SEP 23–OCT 22)

CAPRICORN (DEC 21–JAN 19)

You are mentally and emotionally equipped to enjoy a decent life. And if you have any doubts then seek guidance at Bardsley’s in Baker Street.

Golden opportunity awaits. Important doors fling open. Walk through them.

Stride purposefully up to the counter: “The usual please, Roy”

It’s time for a cleansing detoxification of your body and mind, Libra. Purify everything. Then you can treat yourself at Bardsley’s. Lovely!

Start new projects. Seek new faces.

Source new ideas. Then get moaned at for never finishing anything. Hide at Bardsley’s.

TAURUS (APR 21–MAY 21)

LEO (JULY 23–AUG 22)

SCORPIO (OCT 23–NOV 21)

AQUARIUS (JAN 20–FEB 19)

Goodness arises from everywhere and everyone and everything. Read Latest 7 every week at Bardsley’s for heaps of goodly stuff.

The romantic stirrings in your heart wills the stars to deliver a big, big love.

Run now before you get squashed by some bloke looking like Shrek.

Don’t hurry or force things to happen Scorpio. Everything happens in its own good, perfect, slow but sure time.

Yeah sure!

You have been cooped indoors too long. Go outside and breathe.

Ask Neil at Bardsley’s how to do proper Buddhist breathing exercises for maximum energy.

GEMINI (MAY 22–JUNE 21)

VIRGO (AUG 23–SEP 22)

SAGITTARIUS (NOV 22–DEC 20)

Love yourself, Gemini. Love everybody and everything, and don’t blame me if you get into a few Confessions Of A Window Cleaner-type scrapes.

You can survive or you can thrive in life, but really does anybody ever really thrive? Stop worrying and nod sadly at a corner table in Bardsley’s.

This week you should trust your inner voices and act accordingly.

OK, do nothing then. I can’t hear them either.

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PISCES (FEB 20–MAR 20) Your home planets are all nice and cosy. Things are looking up Pisces.

Hurrah!

To talk to Astral Angi please email angi@thelatest.co.uk

015_LS317_stand-up/vets

4/12/07

12:42 PM

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STAND-UP COMEDY

A laughing matter Victoria Nangle says comedy is thriving in Brighton, and it’s not just the locals who have noticed I was right. I just want everyone to know that. Months and months ago – and that’s longer ago than saying ‘last year’ – in this very column I pointed out that we were all set for an abundance of comedy nights. A veritable plethora. And sure enough, here they seem to be. If you can’t find a comedy club to your liking in Sussex you’re obviously not looking hard enough.

From the Joogleberry’s Funnyhaha to its mixture of creatives at Raw, from The Marlborough’s Rabbits In The Headlights to one-off shows from award-winning comedians like Josie Long and Robin Ince. The Komedia is a constant, with Bent Double, Krater Club and The Treason Show. And there’s more, in the form of Clapped Out Comedy, Easy Comedy and Sidesplitters, to name but a few. It’s comedy spring I tell you.

Everything’s coming up roses.

Admittedly, a number of these were around before, but with few exceptions all of them have grown stronger with time, with bigger headliners coming down to entertain us and a new genre of clubs starting up right here in jolly Brighton with the introduction of Comic Boom. Comic Boom has a headliner and vetted new acts, taking the risk

“If you can’t find a comedy club to your liking in Sussex, you’re obviously not looking hard enough” out of seeing any show with new acts on the bill. In fact, more of these nights are vetting their new acts, raising the overall quality of what you get to see on stage. Don’t promoters work hard for you?

Acts are also deciding that they like certain venues best, and passing on the word. When Perrier-award winner Josie Long took to the stage of The Marlborough t’other day it was with a text from recent Channel 4 top 100 comedians includee Daniel Kitson in her pocket, saying: “Are you playing that nice little theatre in Brighton? Good, isn’t it?”

Brighton and East Sussex’s reputation is good. No it’s more than that, it’s gooo-ooood. And we’re reaping the benefits. October’s Paramount Comedy Festival is only the other side of summer, and with the Dome and the Brighton Centre catching the big names on their tours of larger cities than us – Ricky Gervais and Lenny Henry, you know who you are – our appetites are whetted for good-quality laughs.

It’s even more fortunate, then, that we have such good talent right here on our doorsteps. With Stephen Grant, Rufus Hound, Zoe Lyons and Jo Enright living here, along with new talent already recognised outside of Sussex, like Toby Whithouse and Paul McCaffrey residing in Brighton, it’s hardly surprising we’re getting a good reputation for comedy. Aren’t we lucky? Now there’s no excuse not to go out and support local comedy. It’s all so good!

☺

Stand-up wisdom 37: “How are you doing with this 24-hour drinking? It’s darn near killing me.” Boothby Graffoe

image

Individual Images for Individual People

catcher T i m R i c h a r d s o n Freelance Photographer 01273 881832 07977 140002 www.image-catcher.co.uk tim.richardson@image-catcher.co.uk 32a Carlisle Road, Hove, East Sussex BN3 4FS

PETS

Marc the vet Paul O’Grady Show’s Marc Abraham says don’t blame dogs for their lazy owners “Whatever his weight in pounds, shillings and ounces, He always seems bigger because of his bounces.”

AA Milne – The House At Pooh Corner Certainly the above is true of dogs. The other day an owner asked me to help extract her dog out of the back of her car for me to examine. “I cannot get a lead on him because he will not stand still,” she said. “He jumps around all over the place.” The dog in question is a cocker spaniel, but he seemed more like a frisky racehorse and I can't say the job was that easy.

Quite apart from the inconvenience of a dog leaping around, there is a very real danger factor. I’ve heard recently of someone putting a lead on to a frisky dog and attaching the clasp, not to the ring intended for the purpose, but to the spring holder for the name tag. One big pull and the spring unravelled, leaving the lead unattached to the collar, and so off raced the dog.

“It’s no good saying ‘the dog is untrainable’ unless the dog is mentally unstable, and that is rare“ Dogs that romp around in cars are a menace, for they distract the driver and try to push through the windscreen. On arrival at the destination, they can leap out with fearful consequences.

I am surprised at some of the accidents involving people that are reported. Most often it is an elderly person being knocked over by a dog jumping up at them. But recently I saw someone nursing a finger in plaster. “The dog did it,” she said. It wasn’t a bite, though, she’d in fact grabbed the dog by the ring on the collar in order to put a lead on him, but the dog swerved around and the finger – which was still in the ring – was broken.

Dogs that are not properly trained are a real menace, and not just to their owners. People are reluctant to take them anywhere as they can be a pain to the general public. Let me make one thing clear: it is not the dog’s fault. It is the fault of the owner who is too lazy to train the dog.

It’s no good saying ‘the dog is untrainable’ or ‘silly dog’ unless the dog is mentally unstable, and that is very rare indeed.

All dogs are trainable. However, the sooner you start the better. A good plan is to start at 9-10 weeks, as soon as he or she leaves the mother. The mother is an excellent trainer at the early stage. She scolds when the pup misbehaves and she praises when the pup is good by licking its head, the equivalent of patting. All dogs love to please the owner they love and respect. They dislike making him or her cross.

Praise and scold. Above all, be fair, be firm, and be friendly.

Please consider this serious matter. You will make life so much easier for everyone.

For more information contact top local dog trainer Linda Dewey on 01273 241008

Any comments for Marc email editorial@thelatest.co.uk 12,000 students attend the University of Sussex.

The only way to reach these potential clients is through the University of Sussex Students’ Union.

The badger is the Students’ Union’s tabloid newspaper, published every Thursday and read by 84% of students*.

The pulse, our termly magazine, has been awarded the best UK Student Magazine twice by The Guardian and Independent newspapers.

To advertise in either publication, phone the USSU marketing team on 01273 678151 or email ussu-marketing@sussex.ac.uk * Student Lifestyle Questionnaire 2002

15 latest 7

If you would like your event listed please email listings@thelatest.co.uk

000_LS317_UDB

4/11/07

2:15 PM

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017_LS317 Great Escape

4/11/07

4:50 PM

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GREATESCAPE The Magic Numbers

The Great Escape Making its debut last year the Great Escape quickly established itself as one of Europe’s best global export-ready showcase festivals.

Jeff Hemmings takes a look at this year’s event In plain English, the festival is a platform for bands and solo artists to showcase what they can do, to an audience that includes music industry professionals from around the world.

For three days last May, acts from around the world flew in to try to grab the attention of the music industry and media.

But the Great Escape is also for the ordinary music fan who wants to catch today’s talent, playing at a number of venues within short walking distances of each other. So, like other events of this kind around the world, and with one ticket (or rather wristband) you can go from venue to venue during the course of the three days (this year it takes place on 17–19 May), and see acts from around the world. Last year there were 20 venues in which to see 180 bands. There will be a similar number of venues used and acts playing this year, and the quality looks to be of the same high standard, along with the addition of new venues such as the Pavilion Theatre and Corn Exchange.

“It’s all about the discovery of new music,” says co-event organiser John McIIowdie, who along with Martin Elbourne, organises the Great Escape on behalf of Channelfly, a company that has many interests within the world of music including running the Barfly chain of venues, publishing The Fly magazine, and managing and running a record label.

“That’s why we use a lot of venues – people can take a risk, and discover new acts for themselves, some of whom have never played in the UK before!”

Last year saw the likes of The Kooks (a legendary gig at the famous Spiegeltent), The Klaxons, The Gossip and The Fratellis, playing small and intimate venues. This year there is an ever-growing number of acts booked for the three-day bash including The Magic Numbers, The Rakes, CSS, Willy Mason and Mumm-Ra. But it’s really the bands who are not so well known – those that are beginning to make their mark, and are ready to ‘export’ their music – that make the Great Escape a golden opportunity to see a fantastic array of very exciting and cutting-edge talent from around the world. Where else would you get the chance to see, in the course of three days, bands such as Children Collide (Australia), Bonde do Role (Brazil), The Immediate (Ireland), Good Shoes (UK), The Besnard Lakes (Canada), Spleen (France), Adjagas (Norway), Elvis Perkins (USA) and Die Die Die (New

Zealand)? These names may not mean much to you at the moment, but they, along with over 100 other acts, are making some serious noises within the industry and among those music fans who follow new bands. More than 20 countries will be represented this year, making the Great Escape a truly global festival of some of the best new talent. Of course, the UK will be the country represented most and this year’s festival will again demonstrate what rude health the ‘creative’ side of the music industry is in at the moment. Acts such as Jack Penate, Archie Bronson Outfit, Art Brut, Indigo Moss, Kate Nash, Hot Club de Paris, Pigeon Detectives, The Heights and Vincent Vincent & The Villains will be playing.

My Federation, British Sea Power, Passenger, My Little Problem, Young Soul Rebels, Drookit Dogs, Jason Pegg, and Make Good Your Escape are among the homegrown talent being given a chance to shine in the spotlight.

This year will also see the launch of the Alternative Escape, a kind of ‘fringe’ to the main event, where local promoters and venues are being encouraged to organise their own events, but which will be publicised as a Great Escape event in the main programme. So, look out in particular for a large number of Brightonbased bands and singer songwriters who were not able to make it on to the main programme!

Moreover, there will be a vast array of club nights and late-night parties under the Great Escape, many hosted by respected record labels, DJs and club promoters.

The Great Escape is also host to a number of talks, workshops and debates. Last year saw Michael Eavis (founder of Glastonbury Festival), Laurence Bell (Domino Record’s head honcho), Rob Da Bank (Radio One DJ/ Bestival founder) and a whole host of high ranking record industry executives talking and debating on a range of subjects. This year, there are two main strands: The Music Ally Music in Media day (a one-day conference looking at the business of music in advertising, film, TV and games), and The Music Ally Digital day (a one-day conference focusing on the latest developments in the digital music and media worlds).

All in all, the perfect music holiday!

The Great Escape Festival, 17–19 May, various venues.

Tickets available from Rounder Records and Resident Records or call the ticket hotline on 08700 600100, or see www.escapegreat.com

“It’s all about the discovery of new music” And Brighton will have a decent representation, as befitting its growing status as one of the most creative and prolific places for new music in the UK. Acts such as Blood Red Shoes, Peggy Sue & The Pirates,

Willy Mason

CSS

latest 7 17

Life&Death fest ad

4/12/07

5:37 PM

Page 1

‘DESTINED FOR THE WEST END’ ABSOLUTE BRIGHTON ‘A MASTERPIECE’ METRO ‘UNMISSABLE’ EDINBURGH GUIDE ‘A MONUMENTAL WORK’ THE ARGUS

AN ASTONISHING MUSICAL ABOUT DARFUR & AUSCHWITZ

with the rainbow chorus and members of brighton youth orchestra conducted by dominic nunns STARRING KERRI MCLEAN with

ANGI MARIANI

(EMINEMMYLOU)

& GUY PICOT (HOLBY CITY & FOOTBALLERS’ WIVES WRITER)

22ND – 27TH MAY 7PM £10 (£6) THE UDDERBELLY BOX OFFICE 01273 709709 www.udderbelly.co.uk

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019_LS3174_festival

4/12/07

6:12 PM

Page 3

BRIGHTON FESTIVAL

Powerful blend Les Ballet C de la B explores the state of powerlessness in a unique and powerful blend of dance, performance, music and song On 25 May 2006, Koen Augustijnen, choreographer with Ghent-based Les Ballets C de la B dance company, wrote to Anne Van Lancker, a Flemish member of the European Parliament, on the subject of a human and ecological disaster taking place in Lake Victoria in central Africa, one of the world’s largest and most abundant freshwater lakes. The letter went on to highlight the results: “…famine, (child) prostitution, Aids, orphaned children sleeping rough on the streets, reduced to melting down whatever is left of fish packaging to be able to sniff, just to briefly forget the misery and their craving for food.”

A month later came a reply: “Dear Koen, First of all, please accept my apologies for this belated reply. We are finally starting to make some headway in the situation surrounding the Nile perch in Lake Victoria…” It was the start of a correspondence that was to inspire and form the core of Les Ballet C de la B’s new production Import Export.

Les Ballets C de la B first appeared at the Brighton Festival in 2004 to enormous critical

and public acclaim. Their style, a powerful blend of dance, performance, acrobatics, live music and song, expands the conventions of a traditional ballet company into a broader world of performance theatre, in which they can use those skills to advance and develop ideas in live performance. In Import Export the company tackles the global problem of powerlessness in the face of corporate and aggressive international political pressure.

Koen Augustijnen again collaborates with countertenor Steve Dugardin with a cast of six dancers/acrobats and the all-female Kirke string quartet for what must surely be one of the most intimate and moving events to be seen in this year’s festival.

In July, Anne Van Lancker wrote: ‘‘It is true to say our actions will not be able to put an immediate stop to all the injustices in the world. But those who fail to put up a fight can neither lose …nor win.”

Les Ballets C de la B Import Export is at the Corn Exchange, Brighton Dome, Sat 12–Tue 15 May, £15–£22.50. Call 01273 709709 or see www.brightonfestival.org

Bah to Bollywood For a real taste of epic Indian culture try Mahabharata Award-winning writer Stephen Clark joins forces with award-winning composer and cult music star Nitin Sawhney to stage India’s verse epic Mahabharata – a story filled with conflict, blood, demons, gods, princes, kings and sages. The whole is seen through the eyes of Draupadi, a woman who defies her destiny, marries five brothers and becomes the catalyst for a terrible war.

The production features a massive international cast of 27 dancers, singers and musicians in feats of dance, drama, puppetry and visual trickery. It is bound to become one of this year’s festival highlights.

Mahabharata is at Theatre Royal Brighton, Tue 22–Sat 26 May, £16–£23. Call 01273 709709 or see www.brightonfestival.org

Give me a break International Festival of Hip Hop Dance Theatre breaks out After the massive success last year of Warp Moves, hip hop drops into the festival again for a welcome return. Start the evening in the foyer with a chance to join in the freestyling, with displays of graffiti art and workshops. After that Jonzi D hosts an evening packed with an amazing line-up that boasts the legendary Electric Boogaloos from the USA, originators of ‘popping’ and ‘boogaloo’ styles, Frank Ejara (Brazil) who fuses movement and sound and Franck II Louise (France) who continue to push the boundaries with their classic work Drop It! Breakin’ Convention is at the Concert Hall, Brighton Dome, Fri 25 and Sat 26 May, £10–£20.

Call 01273 709709 or see www.brightonfestival.org

Call 01273 709709 to book tickets or visit www.brightonfestival.org

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020_LS317_ads

13/4/07

11:46 AM

Page 1

We are all trying to live in the flow of the universe.

ReikiBabies presents reiki attunements for mothers and fathers to encourage them in bringing their babies up with the healing energy of reiki. In pregnancy, at delivery time, and in the early years, we can feel supported by this ancient energy.

The first attunement includes advanced chakra and colour therapy, and other energetic modalities, specifically geared to pregnancy and birth.

The second attunement includes elements of home alignment, feng shui for babies space, and using the healing on a wider scale.

To support mothers and babies, a small range of 100% organic oil blends have been formulated to time honoured recipes. Made by reiki master using the energy, these pure oils hold the healing vibration.

Including a ‘Perineum Massage Blend’ to prepare for delivery, and ‘Babies First Wash’ these are wise and wonderful ways to care for yourself and baby.

Call 01273 582022 or visit www.RiekiBabies.co.uk

20 latest 7

REIKI with Debi Mairèsse

PROFESSIONAL COURSES WITH A HOMELY TOUCH

• Two attunements on each course • Numbers limited to six • Easy-to-follow study guides • Delicious vegetarian lunches provided • Certificate of attendance • Ongoing support and sharing groups Start a new chapter in your life today, contact Debi: Tel: 01273 235661 or 07723 013 375 Web: www.debi-reiki-sussex.blogspot.com / Email: debi-reiki-sussex@hotmail.com

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HEALTH

Healing hands Relax with some hands-off healing says Miranda Glavin The gentle approach of healing without (or with very little) touch may seem like a strange idea, but to those who have experienced the natural healing of reiki the benefits immediately dispel any reservations.

Its very non-invasive nature means reiki can be used on a wide variety of people from long-term sufferers of illness to children. At the very least it is deeply relaxing but it can also help with a range of conditions, treating both the origin and the symptoms.

Who it can help From the Japanese word meaning ‘universal life energy’ (like the Chinese ‘chi’), reiki was rediscovered from ancient texts in the 1800s by the Japanese doctor Mikao Usui. It is a form of hands-on healing (though no clothes need to be removed as during a session the practitioner’s hands don’t necessarily touch the patient). The practitioner gently places his or her hands non-intrusively in a sequence of positions which cover the whole body, treating the whole person rather than specific symptoms and strengthening the body’s own healing powers. Reiki works on many levels, getting to the root cause of symptoms such as stress, allergies and skin complaints. It can also help with fertility, pregnancy, babies and children. This is a particular benefit of reiki, that it is accessible to everyone (also, it isn’t attached to a particular belief system) and it is marvellously calming.

Everyone can study reiki and everyone can receive it.

What’s on offer As with many alternative practices in Sussex there are a fair few teachers, many of whom specialise in different areas. Brighton Reiki is run by Rifa Bhunnoo. Healing and teaching clients for over six years, she has more than 300 clients on her books. She is passionate about taking reiki into the mainstream and teaches workshops every weekend. And although most of her clients are Sussex-based, people travel from as far as Wales, Scotland and even Russia to learn with her.

Deborah Mairesse’s practice is in Southwick, where she does reiki treatments as well as teaching it. During a reiki session she aligns the body’s energy, improving the immune system and making you more energetic and stronger. She says, “With reiki you can always make someone feel better. I guarantee you by my ten years’ experience, any child will fall asleep after a few minutes of receiving reiki. It is bliss!”

Lynne Carr specialises in baby reiki and often uses colour, and crystal and plant solutions and oils, which she asks the client to choose.

“Each has its own healing vibration and I direct this property toward the relevent chakras.”

Whoever you choose, perhaps the most important point to practise is the first of Dr Usui’s spiritual principles: “Just for today, do not worry.”

Manage that and you’ll go a long way towards inner peace.

Rifa Bhunnoo, Brighton Reiki, call 07968 982136 or see www.brightonreiki.co.uk Deborah Mairesse, call 01273 235661 or 07723 013375 Lynne Carr, call 01276 471151 or 07880 775700

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01273 818160 If you would like to comment on this story please email editorial@thelatest.co.uk

See more health tips at wavemagazine.co.uk

Health & fitness TUESDAY 17 Abs Blast With Martin.

Fitforall, 6pm, £3 BE Pilates Mat Class Rehab/basic classes.

01273 273074 for info.

Back2Balance 5.45–6.45pm, & 7–8pm, £45 for 6 weeks Boxing Class Drop-in.

Cheetahs Boxing Gym. 7.30–9pm, £4 (also every Fri 7–8pm, Sat 12–1.30pm and Mon 6–7pm, all £4) Flamenco Dance Technique Contact Ana for more info. The Dance Station. 7–8.15pm, £8.50 General Pilates The Acupuncture Clinic. Pre-book w/ Penny on 07904 472605, 6.45–7.45pm, £48 for 6 weeks Hatha Yoga All levels. Info call Sandy: 01273 505433, Unit 4, 9.30–11.00am, £6 Hypnotherapy Free consultations with Peter J Hassell: smoking, anxiety and other issues. 07884 213599 Iyengar Yoga Brighton Buddhist Centre, 1–2.15pm, £6/£4 Komaja’s Love Meditation Meditation and mantra singing. Komaja Centre, Hove. 7.30–9.30pm, £donation Kundilini Yoga Holistic Health Clinic, 6.30–8pm, £6 drop-in, £20 for 4 Low Impact Aerobics Dean’s Leisure Centre. 8–9pm, £4 Rev’s Up! Indoor Cycling Fun fitness session at Peacehaven Leisure Centre.

7.45pm (also Mon 7.45pm, Thu 6pm) £4.30 drop-in Tai Chi & Qi Gong The Acupuncture Clinic, 8–10pm, £7 drop-in

WEDNESDAY 18 Abs and Backs Dean’s Leisure Centre. 8–8.20pm, £1 Aerobics Circuits Dean’s Leisure Centre. 7–8pm, £4 Ashtanga Yoga Brighton Buddhist Centre, 12.45–2pm, £6/£4 Dynamic Yoga Orchid Health.

8–9.30pm and Mon 7–8.30pm, £5 Sivananda Yoga Beg/int.

Revitalise. Call Helen 07722 046865. 9.30–10.45am Yoga Drop-in with Jackie Coulson. Wendy Whatling School of Dance.

9.15–10.45am (also Thu 7.45–8.45pm) Yoga With Joanne. Coral Health/ Fitness. 1.30pm, £3.50 Yummymummys Fitforall, 10.30am, £4

THURSDAY 19 BE Pilates Semi-Private Matwork Classes Carla for info: 01273 273074. BE Pilates Studio, Westdene, 10.15am and 6.30pm (also same time Mon) £75 for 6 weeks Body Control Pilates Mixed and advanced classes.

Holistic Health Centre, 8–9.15pm, £60 for 6 weeks Hatha Yoga Patcham Com/ Centre. 07986 850029, 9.45–11.15am, £6 Hip Hop/R’n’B Dance Class Peacehaven Leisure Centre.

8pm drop-in, £4.30 Mindful Hatha Yoga With Taravajra, call 07985 314181 for info. Unit 4. 11.30–1pm Pilates Beginners mat-based class. Pre-book with Francesca on 07958 204211.

Wendy Whatling School of Dance, 9.45–10.45am, £54 for 6 weeks Vajrasati Yoga Brighton Buddhist Centre. 1–2.15pm, and 6–7pm, £6/£4 Yoga With Jo. Fitforall, 7.15pm, £4

FRIDAY 20

DIRECTORY

Back Care Pilates The Acupuncture Clinic. Pre-book w/ Penny on 07904 472605.

11–12pm, £60 for 6 weeks Sahaja Yoga Class Meditation. Info call Martin: 01273 202610. Brighthelm Centre. 7–9pm, free Sivananda Yoga Beg/int with Kelly: 07828 829965, Revitalise.

9.30–10.45am, £6 or £30 for 6 Tai Chi Peacehaven Leisure Centre. 7.30pm drop-in, £4.30 Tai Chi Chuan Class For over 50s. Contact Ian on 07900 193230 for more details.

Leach Court, 11.30am, £3 Yoga And Meditation Brighton Buddhist Centre, 10–11.30am, £6/£4

The Acupuncture Clinic 143 Portland Road, Hove 01273 722422 All Saints Church Hall Eaton Road, Hove Ian Kendall: 07900 193230 www.ik-taichi.com Anahata Health Clinic 119–120 Edward Street, Kemp Town, 01273 698687f Back2Balance 35 Goldstone Villas, Hove 01273 20868 BE Pilates Studio 121 Eldred Ave, Westdene Carla: 01273 273074 Bodhi Garden Centre 7 Ship St Gardens, Brighton Call Richard 07796 331167 Brighthelm Community Centre North Road, Brighton Brighton Buddhist Centre 17 Tichborne Street, Brighton 01273 772090 Brighton Ki Centre 12 Queens Square, Brighton Barry: 07854 389606 Brighton Natural Health Centre Regent Street, Brighton 01273 600010 Brighton Reiki Centre Viaduct Road, Brighton 07968 982136 Cheetahs Boxing Gym Next King Alfred Centre, Kings Way, Hove. 01273 206644 Coast Chiropractic 198 Church Road, Hove 01273 321144 Coral Health And Fitness Orchard Road, Hove 01273 731262 Cornerstone Community Centre Church Road, Hove The Dance Station Unit 4, 57 North Street, Portslade. 01273 419977 Davigdor Infants School Somerhill Road, Hove Bernie: 07799 097776 Dean’s Leisure Centre Longhill School Karen: 01273 305827 The Dharma School Ladies Mile Road, Patcham Diamond Way Buddhist Centre Montpelier Road, Brighton Ingrid: 07736 061108 Dorothy Stringer Sports Complex Loder Road, B’tn.

Info on 07895 066321.

Fitforall Unit 1, Portland Road Trading Estate, Hove. 01273 415515 Holistic Health Clinic 53 Beaconsfield Rd, Brighton 01273 696295 Johnson Page Healthcare Chiropractic & Medical Acupuncture, 15 Ship Street 01273 724777 King Alfred Leisure Centre Kingsway, Hove 01273 290290 Komaja Centre 21a Upper Market Street, Hove. Cela: 01273 771472 Leach Court Eastern Road, Brighton. Ian Kendall: 07900 193230 More Bar/Restaurant 98 Trafalger Street, Brighton 07717 584738 Patcham Community Centre Ladies Mile Road, Patcham Peacehaven Leisure Centre Greenwich Way, Peacehaven 01273 588858 Revitalise (Planet Janet) 86 Church Road, Hove 01273 738389 St Mary Magdalen Community Centre 55 Upper North St, Brighton 01273 676992 Unit 4 20–26 Roundhill St, Brighton Wendy Whatling School of Dance Unit 11a Dyke Road Mews, Brighton.

SATURDAY 21 BE Pilates Mat Class Beg/improvers. 01273 273074 for info. Coast Chiropractic.

10–11am and 11am–12pm, £45 for 6 weeks Biodanza Therapeutic dance workshop. Knoyle Hall, Knoyle Road, Brighton. All welcome! 2–6pm, £25/£22 Coretastic! With James.Fitforall, 10am, £4 Children’s Ki & Aikido For ages 4–7. Brighton Ki Centre, call Bob for info: 01273 323315. 9–9.45am, £2.50 Hatha Yoga (Scaravelli) 90-minute class. Coral Health and Fitness.12pm, £4.50

SUNDAY 22 Adult Tap Wendy Whatling.

Beg: 7–8pm and intermediate 8–9pm Aquarobics King Alfred.

10.30am–11.15am, £4.10 Hangover Spin Fitforall, 10am, £4 Women’s Yoga The Acupuncture Clinic, 11am–12.15pm, £40 for 6 Yoga Morning With Jo. Brighton Buddhist Centre, 10–1pm, £10–£20

MONDAY 23 Chen Tai Chi All levels, Davigdor School. 6–7pm, £7.

Info: 07799 097776 Fitness Pilates Drop-in class.

Dean’s Leisure Centre.

7.30–8.30pm, £5, (also a 5-week course Tue, 9.30–10.30 and 7.30–8.30pm) Flamenco Dance Beginners.

The Dance Station. 7–8.15pm, £8.50 Hatha Yoga Weekly class.

The Dharma School. Call 07986 850029. 5.30–6.45pm, £30 for 6 weeks Hatha Yoga (Scaravelli) Coral Health & Fitness.

12pm & 7.10pm, £3.50 Inspiring Yoga All levels.

Holistic Health Clinic.

6.15–7.45pm, £7 Kundalini Yoga For LGBT, Anahata Health Clinic.

7.45pm, £4/£5 Latino Mix With Marta, Fitforall, 6pm, £4 Legs, Bums And Tums Dean’s Leisure Centre. £4, 5.30–6.30pm and 6.30–7.30pm Post/Ante Natal Pilates Babies welcome. The Acupuncture Clinic. Pre-book w/ Penny on 07904 472605, 12.30–1.30pm, £60 for 6 weeks Scaravelli Inspired Yoga With Peta Trousdell at Unit 4.

Call 01273 846722 for more info. 10–11.30am Shaolin Kungfu All levels, Davigdor School. 7–8pm, £7 Tai Chi Chuan Class More info: 07900 193230. All Saints Church Hall, 8pm, £5 Unguided Meditation Bodhi Garden, Alan: 07888 821524, 6–7pm, suggested donation £5 Women’s Yoga (Scaravelli) The Acupuncture Clinic.

6.30–8pm, £9 drop-in,£32 for 4

wendywhat ling@btconnect.com

List for FREE in this section.

Email health events to editorial@thelatest.co.uk with the date, place, time and cost

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3:41 PM

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ANDREW KAY’S FOOD&DRINK

Heston services Andrew Kay couldn’t get a table at The Fat Duck so went to the pub instead I knew that I was going to be a few miles down the road from Bray, so in a moment of optimism I called to see If I could get a table at Heston Blumenthal’s famous restaurant. Of course it was blind optimism but I was in dogged mood and dialled the pub down the road. Not as daft an idea as it sounds, as Mr Blumenthal also owns The Hind’s Head Hotel.

A lovely lady answered the phone and announced that she had space for two. I almost bit her arm off – difficult by telephone I know.

The booking was for 1pm but we arrived at 12.25 so great was my anticipation. The Hind’s Head is as unspoilt a pub as you could hope to find, all beams and dark wood and proper beer. They even sell crisps.

We went to the bar and ordered a couple of Bloody Marys, made with their own spiced tomato juice, and I strongly resisted ordering the day’s bar snacks which were devils on horseback and Scotch quail eggs. A member of staff came over and politely suggested that as we were a little early we might like to go through and avoid the one o’clock rush. We took his advice and drifted through, all the time looking at dishes that had already arrived in the bar in the hope that it might help me choose.

The menu is short but not too short. There was nothing on it that I would not have been happy to eat, which makes life rather hard. I finally settled on soused herrings with a beetroot and horseradish. Years of floppy pickled herrings can be a real turn-off, but these were as firm as a rower’s buttock, gently sour, delicately sweet and still tasting of the fish (the herring that is). The beetroot was earthy and just the right side of crunchy; the dressing held the spice of horseradish. I used some of the delicious bread to clean the plate.

Sponsored by sugar crystals out, I dipped each into the gravy. Broccoli with almonds and anchovies, the Spanish soused variety, was amazingly successful.

Champ, although delicious, was a dish too far.

I was too, too full for pudding but had one anyway. Eccles cakes with potted Stilton has to be tried does it not? It does, I promise you.

Mr L in a brave moment chose sherry trifle, which if not promising enough alcohol is, we were informed, with a goodly slosh of cider too.

He managed to polish it off in spite of being already full. It was, once again, a large serving. One coffee and one fresh mint tea and we were finished. Well almost – there were two divine chocolate truffles.

A waiter arrived with the bill, £103, which included the two Bloody Marys, two glasses of white wine, one small glass of red and a large glass of red.

I have paid more for pub food – £110 at The Stag in Titley for a meal only half as good. Here the price I paid was high by some standards but not high for food and service of this quality. Our main courses were £13.50 and £14 each, a price that I see topped only too often here in Sussex for food that really doesn’t come close to this. The service by the way is exemplary and many top restaurants could take note of what Mr Blumenthal has achieved in his pub. They all knew everything about the food, where it was from, how it was cooked, where the recipe had been found…

When our waiter asked where we were from she was concerned that we might fade on our journey home, and brought a foil package containing two more truffles. I can assure you I did not eat again until lunchtime the next day, and a Blumenthal truffle is sustenance in itself.

Perfection is what Blumenthal strives for and in this simple display of the very best of British food he gets there.

The Hind’s Head Hotel, The High Street, Bray, Berkshire. Call 01628 626151 or see www.thehindsheadhotel.com

Passionate about property, fanatical about food 59 Church Road, Hove 01273 735237 www.callaways.co.uk

‘‘My pudding sat in majestic isolation in a bowl surrounded by the darkest and stickiest gravy you can imagine’’ My friend, and that’s ‘friend’ friend and not ’friend’ euphemism, Mr L, chose a daily special of dandelion salad with bacon and quail eggs. A large mound of perfect greenery was bejewelled with tiny crouton, perfect lardon and implausible quail eggs. How do you cook a quail egg without the yolk setting? These were sliced open and the yolks ran into the simply-dressed leaves.

Mr L followed with a Gloucester Old Spot chop and pease pudding.

Within minutes he was waxing lyrical about the immaculate meat and the delicate smoky flavour of the grill. I grabbed a taste and he was right. The pease pudding too was divine – comfort food of the highest order.

I finally settled on an oxtail and kidney pudding although I did feel guilty, as a Lancashire boy, for not trying the hotpot, which I later discovered contained oysters. The pudding arrived in a portion that would comfortably have served two. It sat in majestic isolation in a bowl surrounded by the darkest and stickiest gravy you can imagine. My fork broke the suet case and out came rich chunks of totally tender beef. The flavour was intense, glorious, silencingly good.

I made a brave foray into the side dishes, not brave because they were odd but brave because the food here is big. The infamous triplecooked chips have to be had. The fluffiest white inside, and crisp like 22 latest 7

New Exciting Menus Dinner Menu (3 course) £25.00 Sunday to Thursday 6pm till close ~~~~~

Lunch Menu (2 course) £11.95 Sunday to Friday 12pm to 5pm Or choose from our à la Carte menu ~~~~~ Please visit our web site to view menus

023_LS317_ads

4/11/07

3:22 PM

Page 1

216 Church Road, Hove

10% discount on take away Opening hours: 12.00pm-2.30pm and 6.00pm-11.30pm Offers exclude bank holidays

01273 722216 01273 770704

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FOOD & DRINK

latest hot

The Gourmet Fish & Chip Company

LIST

The Gourmet Fish and Chip Company at Brighton Marina has taken the dish into the 21st century. Diners can enjoy fantastic top-grade fish and chips in a trendy diner environment and even enjoy a beer while they wait for their takeaway order. Check out the gourmet fish platter and lunch-time specials. The restaurant is located on the ground-floor level of the waterfront and is open seven days a week. Fully licensed.

The Walk of Fame, 18 Waterfront, Brighton Marina, 01273 670701 www.gourmetfishandchipcompany.com

RESTAURANTS & BARS

RESTAURANTS BRITISH AND MODERN EUROPEAN Bardsley’s Probably Brighton’s most popular fish and chip shop and restaurant with a large loyal clientele. Totally traditional and family-run with all your favourites, but also an excellent blackboard of daily fish specials.

They’re open for lunch and dinner Tuesday to Saturday and it’s also a great party venue. There are massive fish platters and good seasonal seafood. Fish can be fried, grilled or poached, plus vegetarian choices.

22–23a Baker Street, Brighton, 01273 681256

Blanch House The restaurant at Blanch House is an inhouse affair. All involved are dedicated to excellence in food, service and wines but with no pretensions. You can sit back and take pleasure in the relaxed atmosphere of dinner at your best friend’s house while enjoying innovative food, attentive and personal service, and superb wine and cocktail lists. The menu changes with the seasons and availability to ensure that only the freshest high-quality produce is used.

Meat, dairy products and other ingredients are locally sourced and organic where possible. Fish is from the local day boats when available.

17 Atlingworth Street, Brighton, 01273 603504, www.blanchhouse.co.uk

Café Belge Café Belge offers award-winning food (Café Belge Eastbourne received a gold star for food from the prestigious Harden’s Guide 2006) – 50 ways to eat a fresh mussel, salmon fishcakes, award-winning 12” wild boar and beer sausage, fresh sea bass, steak Béarnaise, Toblerone fondue, Belgian waffles – just to give you an insight into what to expect. They also stock more than 100 beers all served in their own glasses, from light and delicious fruit beers to Trapist Monk beers to Belgian Guinness as well as a fine wine list.

64 Kings Rd (corner of West St & seafront), 01273 733290, www.cafebelge.co.uk

The Coach House Friendly restaurant bar in the city centre serving an excellent range of hearty homecooked food, separate evening and lunch menus, and always a selection of roasts on Sunday. Great mussels, steaks, soups and a good wine list. In the winter a central open fire roars, in summer people soak up the late sun on the pretty terrace. The warm atmosphere and good value pricing make this a popular local haunt.

59 Middle Street, Brighton, 01273 719000 www.coachhousebrighton.com

New Steine Bistro Cosy French bistro with regular art exhibitions creating the perfect setting for the appreciation of traditional homemade French cuisine either with friends or for a romantic night out. A hidden gem in the heart of Kemp Town, and very reasonable too! With its daily evening menu at £10.50 weekdays and £14.50 Friday and Saturday.

A la carte menu Tuesday to Saturday 6pm to 10pm for last orders. Available for all celebrations and party bookings with tailormade menu to your needs including live entertainment.

12a New Steine, Brighton, 01273 681546 reservation@newsteinehotel.com www.newsteinehotel.com

Polar Bar East The Polar East is pleased to introduce the new spring/summer menu. Freshly cooked British and European food using locally sourced produce. Great local atmosphere.

Beer garden with barbecue. Main meals from £3. All meat is supplied by Brampton's Premium Butchers.

8 St George’s Road, Kemp Town, Brighton, 01273 683334

Ruby Tate’s Situated at the heart of cosmopolitan Kemp Town, Ruby Tate’s oyster and champagne bar really is the pearl of Brighton. From moules marinière to lobster Thermidor, this is a paradise for seafood lovers. The restaurant’s stylish décor and trademark friendly service ensure that diners enjoy the gourmet food and fine champagne in a relaxed, informal atmosphere.

40 St James’s Street, Brighton, 01273 693251 Blanch House

Sevendials Restaurant A smart restaurant in so many ways, excellent food and a sensible variety of menus in chic surroundings. Chef Sam runs a team of food-lovers who deliver time after time, from a simple lunch to a full à la carte dinner. Cooking reflects the seasons rather than fashion, and quality is paramount, with great locally caught fish, game in season and desserts that are a delight plus a wine list that is full of treats without being expensive too. Make the most of the terrace while the weather is warm or the private dining room for a treat.

1 Buckingham Place, Brighton, 01273 885555 www.sevendialsrestaurant.co.uk

The Terraces Bar, Grill and Dining Room Terraces bar and grill offers customers a relaxed approach to drinking, eating and hospitality. The lower level is available for private parties, wedding receptions, corporate events, Christmas parties, formal dinners or product launches. Whatever you want, you can be sure of an experience as consistently satisfying as the breathtaking views across Brighton seafront.

Madeira Drive, Brighton, 01273 570526, www.the-terraces.co.uk

GREEK Symposio Greek Taverna In a city with very few Greek eateries it’s great to find somewhere warm and inviting to indulge in some Greek food. From magnificent mezze to classic grilled meats, Symposio has a great taverna atmosphere and the lively style of the venue adds a great ambience to what can be a terrific party venue. Also fabulous for a romantic dinner, family outing or business meal. The moussaka is a must and also the deep red wine-soaked sausages and crisp calamari.

121 Western Road, Hove 01273 779474 www.ipanemarestaurants.com

INDIAN Nooris Indian Cuisine One of Brighton’s longest-standing Indian restaurants and justifiably so. Smart service and a menu that, as well as offering all our favourite dishes, has some interesting and unusual dishes on offer.

Great central location just off the seafront.

Portions are on the very generous side so order carefully. We have always been particularly impressed by the vegetarian menu, especially the malai kupta. Excellent breads and side dishes too. £6.95 for a twocourse meal and £11.95 for a three-course meal with wine.

70 Ship Street, Brighton 01273 329405

ITALIAN Donatello The flagship venue of this local family-run business serving excellent-value Italian food in stylish and spotless surroundings. It is popular with locals in the week but at the weekend it draws an audience from London. There are brilliant-value meal deals on blackboards outside – two courses £6.95, three £8.95 – as well as à la carte. The haunt of celebs in season from soap stars to politicos. Fun, friendly and fabulous value.

Brighton Place, Brighton, 01273 775477, www.donatello.co.uk

Fat Leo Supposedly the budget branch of the Donatello stable but you’d be hard-pressed to see why. Once again, quality family dining in the Italian mould but a little less expensive. Very popular with students and families with young children, Fat Leo has trendy interiors, including the toilets, and a menu that is utterly affordable with the company’s signature set-price boards proclaiming any two courses £5.95, any three courses £7.95.

16–17 Market Street, Brighton, 01273 325135

LATIN AMERICAN Las Iguanas Brazilian cooking has come to town and with it all the fun of the caipirinha. Spicy, fun and inexpensive, this Latin newcomer is already proving popular, especially the two-for-one cocktail deals and an excellent £7 two-course lunch menu. Whacky interiors and a cool cocktail bar give the place a carnival feel all the time and the staff are friendly and fun too. If you don’t know what cachaca is, then it’s time to find out.

7–8 Jubilee Street, Brighton, 01273 573550, www.iguanas.co.uk

SOUTH EAST ASIAN Bali Brasserie Located in a 1960s mansion block, this very popular Indonesian-Malaysian restaurant has a rijsttafel buffet dining menu at £16.95 with a wide and generous range of dishes that are constantly replenished. There is also an à la carte menu. Nice original retro décor, bamboo and cane, pink and gilt, with lots of oriental puppets, jazz playing and a friendly atmosphere. Very Simon Templar.

Kingsway Court, First Avenue, Hove, 01273 323810, 12-2pm, 6.30-10.30pm (till 11pm Friday and Saturday)

To have an entry in the latest hot list call 01273 818150 24 latest 7

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FOOD & DRINK SPANISH La Tapa De Oro This large upper room is home to great and authentic Spanish cooking. Tapas has been trendy for years but here the emphasis is on real Iberian food. Favourites include sweet slices of octopus on boiled potato slices dressed with olive oil, lovely ensalad Russe and great jamon Serrano. Informal and friendly, this is a great place for a romantic dinner, family outing, business meal or party.

123 Western Road, Hove 01273 779474 www.ipanemarestaurants.com

THAI Chokdee Possibly the first of its kind, this premium take-away offers fantastic-quality Thai food to your door if you use the home-delivery service or to take away if you are passing.

You can eat in too, as there is a stylish dining area. Counter service does away with additional service charges, so you can enjoy Thai food as often as you like without the fuss. At Chokdee it’s the food that’s the thing. Foodies – start the queue!

98 Goldstone Villas, Hove, 01273 720370, open every day (12pm–3pm and 5pm–11pm)

Sawadee The Thai restaurant that people love, for parties and celebrations, and because they always give the best of times. And why not; this well-priced restaurant pleases repeatedly with dishes we have all grown to love, and some new ones too. We were impressed by the use of authentic ingredients, such as pea aubergines where others use peas. Lots of fish dishes too with bass and pomfret and a great sliced beef salad.

87 St James’s Street, Brighton, 01273 624233, www.sawadeethai.co.uk

VEGETARIAN Revitalise (formerly Planet Janet) This popular and stylish Hove café restaurant offers delicious healthy hot and cold food in combination with being an excellent centre for therapies, treatments and classes. Healthy breakfasts, chunky sandwiches, soups, main meals, jacket potatoes and salads form the core of the menu. Freshly pressed fruit and vegetable juices in delicious revitalising combos, delicious fair-trade teas and coffee, vegan and gluten-free options. Open seven days a week, families welcome. You can eat for less than a fiver!

86 Church Road, Hove, 01273 738389, www.revitalise-u.com

BARS & PUBS The Bell

The award-winning cocktail bar is located on the ground floor of the five-storey building and offers an eclectic range of superbly made cocktails. The owner, Chris Edwardes, has managed many renowned bars, restaurants and clubs in London, including the Groucho Club, The Pharmacy, as well as opening the Jazz Café, The Atlantic, and the Ge Club for Conran. His cocktail skills have been described as ’legendary’ by those in the know and with over 30 years’ experience in the industry it was only a matter of time before he opened his own quality venue.

17 Atlingworth Street, Brighton, 01273 603504, www.blanchhouse.co.uk

The Eagle Great atmosphere, warm welcome, good beer and above all, great food from this gastropub. Hearty, modern food inspired by global cuisine and sensibly priced – you won’t go home hungry or broke. Right in the heart of the North Laine, an excellent place for lunch or dinner. Voted Latest 7 Pub Of The Year.

125 Gloucester Road, Brighton, 01273 607765

GinGin Sophisticated cocktail chic at this stylish St James’s Street bar. Try one of the head barman’s innovative cocktails using unusual mixes and fresh herbs. Cool interiors and a warm and friendly atmosphere which, for once in a city that worships youth, is not ageist.

St James’s Street, Kemp Town, Brighton, 01273 671119

The Hop Poles Great central pub with off-the-wall décor and a loyal clientele of the city’s fashionable best. A fantastic menu of wellpriced food means it gets very busy and seats are at a premium, even in winter on the heated terrace, so get there early.

Excellent free-range meat is specially sourced, while vegetarians are well catered for too.

13 Middle Street, Brighton, 01273 710444

Koba Koba hosts a happy hour between 5pm and 7pm all week. Three bars over three floors with a dedicated team of mixologists. This venue stands as a flagship of quality in Brighton and has been nominated in the top ten bars/clubs in the UK by The Independent. Good beers, a sensible wine list and, of course, champagne for those special occasions or just the sheer love of it. The perfect venue for a private party or an atmospheric night out. Live music on Thursdays, DJs on the weekend. For free K-list membership go to the website.

135 Western Road, Brighton, 01273 720059, www.kobauk.com

Preston Park Tavern This stunning new gastro-pub is situated on Havelock Road in Fiveways. Fresh, locally sourced food is served seven days a week from the open-plan kitchen. A separate children’s menu is available in this totally non-smoking venue. It boasts a great range of real ales and lagers as well as a 17 bin wine list, all served by the glass or bottle.

88 Havelock Road, Brighton, 01273 542271

What’s cooking this week?

GL Diet Recipe Book & Health Plan Maggie Pannell Summer is quickly approaching and the thought of stepping out in shorts, skirts, T-shirts and strappy tops can be daunting, especially after indulging at Easter and over the cold winter months.

To put you back on track for summer, Lorenz Books have released a new title devoted to the GL (glycaemic loading) diet. If the term is unfamiliar, then pay attention to the science bit: the popular GI (glycaemic index) diet grades carbohydrates by the speed at which they are digested and converted to sugar. The GL diet goes one step further, but is based on GI values.

The difference is, a further calculation is made on the actual amount of carbohydrates in a typical food serving, making it more accurate.

Following the recipes in a GL diet results in natural, steady weight loss and control over fluctuating energy levels.

This glossy hardback book gives advice on shopping, preparation, which foods to choose and which to cut down on. It’s nice to see a variety of foods covered, with moderation being the key rather than banning foods we love to indulge in every once in a while. With over 70 recipe ideas and stunning colour photographs to accompany the easy-to-follow recipes, this is a collection worthy of trying out.

Furthermore the recipe ideas are filling (lamb casserole) and delicious (soufflé omelette with strawberries), which makes this a diet plan easy to stick to.

Zara Friend

Lentil soup Ingredients 275g/10oz brown or green lentils 150ml/1⁄4pint extra virgin olive oil 1 onion, thinly sliced 2 garlic cloves, crushed 1 carrot, thinly sliced 400g/14oz can chopped tomatoes

15ml/1tbsp tomato purée (paste) 2.5ml/1⁄2tsp dried oregano 1 litre/13⁄4 pints hot water Salt and ground black pepper 30ml/2tbsp roughly chopped fresh herb leaves, to garnish GL per serving: 10.8

1. Rinse the lentils thoroughly, drain, then put them in a large pan with enough cold water to cover. Bring the water to the boil and boil rapidly for 3–4 minutes. Strain, discarding the liquid, and set the lentils aside.

2. Wipe the pan clean and add the extra virgin olive oil. Place over a medium heat until hot and then add the thinly sliced onion and sauté until translucent. Stir in the garlic, then, as soon as it becomes aromatic, return the lentils to the pan. Add the sliced carrot, tomatoes, tomato pureé and oregano. Stir in the hot water and a little ground black pepper to taste.

3. Bring the soup back to the boil, then lower the heat, cover the pan and cook gently for 20–30 minutes, until the lentils feel soft but have not begun to disintegrate. Season to taste with salt and garnish with the chopped fresh herbs just before serving.

GL Diet, Recipe Book & Health Plan by Maggie Pannell is out now from Lorenz Books, priced £9.99, ISBN-978-0-7548-1717-8

Image: Lorenz Boos/Anness Publishing Ltd

This friendly, traditional pub reopened its doors at the end of last year after having undergone extensive refurbishment and is now under new ownership. Tucked away off Blatchington Road, it already has a name for itself for its great value food, freshly made every day from locally sourced products, including fantastic roasts on Sundays. The pub is child friendly and there’s often something extra going on, from quiz nights to live music. There’s also a function room available to hire. If that’s not enough, they also have happy hours every Monday to Friday from 4pm-7pm.

15-17 Belfast Street, Hove, 01273 770773

Blanch House

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FILM www.odeon.co.uk

0871 224 4007 Tuesday 17

Thursday 19

300 (15) 2.45, 5.30, 8.15 AMAZING GRACE (PG) 12.00 BLADES OF GLORY (12A) 2.30, 4.45, 7.00 CURSE OF THE GOLDEN FLOWER (15) 12.15, 3.00, 5.45, 8.15 MEET THE ROBINSONS (U) 12.20 MR BEAN’S HOLIDAY (PG) 1.00, 3.30, 6.00, 8.30 SUNSHINE (15) 12.30, 3.00, 5.30, 8.00 SHOOTER (15) 12.30, 3.15, 6.00, 8.45 THE LIVES OF OTHERS (15) 2.30, 5.30, 8.30 WILD HOGS (18) 11.45, 2.00, 4.30, 7.00, 9.15 DIRECTORS CHAIR: RUNNING WITH SCISSORS (15) 9.00

300 (15) 2.45, 5.30, 8.15 AMAZING GRACE (PG) 12.00 BLADES OF GLORY (12A) 2.30, 4.45, 7.00, 9.15 CURSE OF THE GOLDEN FLOWER (15) 12.15, 3.00, 5.45, 8.15 MEET THE ROBINSONS (U) 12.20 MR BEAN’S HOLIDAY (PG) 1.00, 3.30, 6.00, 8.30 SUNSHINE (15) 12.30, 3.00, 5.30, 8.00 SHOOTER (15) 12.30, 3.15, 6.00, 8.45 THE LIVES OF OTHERS (15) 2.30, 5.30, 8.30 WILD HOGS (12A) 11.45, 2.00, 4.30, 7.00, 9.15 SENIOR SCREEN: THE HOLIDAY (12A) 10.30am

Wednesday 18

300 (15) BLADES OF GLORY (12A) CURSE OF THE GOLDEN FLOWER (15) MEET THE ROBINSONS (U) MR. BEANS HOLIDAY (PG) SUNSHINE (15) SHOOTER (15) THE LIVES OF OTHERS (15) WILD HOGS (12A)

300 (15) 2.45, 5.30, 8.15 AMAZING GRACE (PG) 12.00 BLADES OF GLORY (12A) 2.30, 4.45, 7.00, 9.15 CURSE OF THE GOLDEN FLOWER (15) 12.15, 3.00, 5.45, 8.15 MEET THE ROBINSONS (U) 12.20 MR BEAN’S HOLIDAY (PG) 1.00, 3.30, 6.00, 8.30 SUNSHINE (15) 12.30, 3.00, 5.30, 8.00 SHOOTER (15) 12.30, 3.15, 6.00, 8.45 THE LIVES OF OTHERS (15) 2.30, 5.30, 8.30 WILD HOGS (12A) 11.45, 2.00, 4.30, 7.00, 9.15

Films showing Friday 20–Monday 23

PLEASE CHECK WITH CINEMA BEFORE TRAVELLING

www.picturehouses.co.uk

01273 626261 Tuesday 17

Saturday 21

SUNSHINE (15) 1.00, 6.15 THE LIVES OF OTHERS (15) 3.15, 8.45

HALF NELSON (15) 4.15, 9.30 THE LIVES OF OTHERS (15) 1.30, 6.30 KID’S CLUB: HAPPY FEET (U) 11.00am

Wednesday 18 SUNSHINE (15) 11.00, 1.00, 6.15 THE LIVES OF OTHERS (15) 4.00, 9.30

Thursday 19 SUNSHINE (15) 1.00, 6.15 THE LIVES OF OTHERS (15) 3.15, 8.45

Friday 20 HALF NELSON (15) 3.30, 9.00 THE LIVES OF OTHERS (15) 12.30, 6.00 LATE SHOW: ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW (12) 11.30pm

Sunday 22 HALF NELSON (15) 3.30, 9.00 THE LIVES OF OTHERS (15) 12.30, 6.00

Monday 23 HALF NELSON (15) 3.30, 9.00 THE LIVES OF OTHERS (15) 12.30, 6.00 PLEASE CHECK WITH CINEMA BEFORE TRAVELLING

www.cineworld.co.uk

01273 818094 Tuesday 17

Thursday 19

300 (15) 12.40, 3.20, 6.00, 8.50 BLADES OF GLORY (12A) 11.50, 2.10, 4.30, 6.50, 9.10 CURSE OF THE GOLDEN FLOWER (15) 3.10, 5.50, 8.40 MEET THE ROBINSONS (U) 1.40, 4.00 MR BEAN’S HOLIDAY (PG) 12.00, 1.30, 2.20, 3.50, 6.10, 8.30 PERFECT STRANGER (15) 7.00, 9.30 SHOOTER (15) 12.50, 3.40, 6.30, 9.20 SUNSHINE (15) 4.40, 7.10, 9.40 THE LAST MIMZY (PG) 1.00 WILD HOGS (12A) 11.40, 2.00, 4.20, 6.40, 9.00

300 (15) 12.40, 3.20, 6.00, 8.50 BLADES OF GLORY (12A) 11.50, 2.10, 4.30, 6.50, 9.10 CURSE OF THE GOLDEN FLOWER (15) 3.10, 5.50, 8.40 MEET THE ROBINSONS (U) 1.40, 4.00 MR BEAN’S HOLIDAY (PG) 12.00, 1.30, 2.20, 3.50, 6.10, 8.30 PERFECT STRANGER (15) 7.00, 9.30 SHOOTER (15) 12.50, 3.40, 6.30, 9.20 SUNSHINE (15) 4.40, 7.10, 9.40 THE LAST MIMZY (PG) 1.00 WILD HOGS (12A) 11.40, 2.00, 4.20, 6.40, 9.00

Wednesday 18

Films showing Friday 20–Monday 23

300 (15) 12.40, 3.20, 6.00, 8.50 BLADES OF GLORY (12A) 11.50, 2.10, 4.30, 6.50, 9.10 CURSE OF THE GOLDEN FLOWER (15) 3.10, 5.50, 8.40 MEET THE ROBINSONS (U) 1.40, 4.00 MR BEAN’S HOLIDAY (PG) 12.00, 1.30, 2.20, 3.50, 6.10, 8.30 PERFECT STRANGER (15) 7.00, 9.30 SHOOTER (15) 12.50, 3.40, 6.30, 9.20 SUNSHINE (15) 4.40, 7.10, 9.40 THE LAST MIMZY (PG) 1.00 WILD HOGS (12A) 11.40, 2.00, 4.20, 6.40, 9.00

300 (15) ALPHA DOG (15) BLADES OF GLORY (12A) CURSE OF THE GOLDEN FLOWER (15) MEET THE ROBINSONS (U) MR BEAN’S HOLIDAY (PG) PERFECT STRANGER (15) SHOOTER (15) SUNSHINE (15) WILD HOGS (12A)

Worthing Cinema

01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk please call for times

Tue 17-19 HOT FUZZ (15)

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PLEASE CHECK WITH CINEMA BEFORE TRAVELLING

Fri 20-23 MR BEAN’S HOLIDAY (PG)

Sun 22 DREAMGIRLS (12A) PLEASE CHECK WITH CINEMA BEFORE TRAVELLING

Also showing...

A quick look at all this week’s releases 300 (15) Dir: Zack Snyder Based on Frank Miller’s graphic comic, 300 concerns the 480 BC Battle of Thermopylae in which 300 Spartans fought against a 100,000 strong Persian army. Pure proto-fascism mixed in with a sweaty dollop of homoeroticism.

Daft but brilliantly flashy, this is a no holds barred thrill ride which takes pride and pleasure in the trappings of war. (3/5) Showing at Cineworld and Odeon Amazing Grace (PG) Dir: Michael Apted This worthy but trite retelling of Wilberforce and his struggle to abolish slavery in the British Empire is a timely release what with the recent 200 year anniversary of the abolishment of slavery. Sadly with only one black actor among the cast this struggles to serve the weight of the issues it tackles. (2/5) Showing at Odeon Curse Of The Golden Flower (15) Dir: Yimou Zhang Set in 10th century China, on the eve of the Chong Yang Festival, Yimou’s much anticipated follow up to his double whammy of Hero and House Of Flying Daggers stars Chow Yun Fat and Li Gong. This is epic melodrama at its most ornate and indulgent. (3/5) Showing at Cineworld and Odeon Dreamgirls (12A) Dir: Bill Condon This slick but slightly tacky musical piece charts the rise and fall of a female group not entirely dissimilar to The Supremes. Beyoncé stars and warbles like a pro, but it’s American Idol reject Jennifer Hudson who delivers alongside a rejuvenated Eddie Murphy. (2/5) Showing at Worthing Theatres Happy Feet (U) Dir: George Miller Yet another animated kiddies’ flick gets an early morning screening at Duke of York’s.

With an oddly eco-friendly slant this is the tale of a young penguin who can’t sing. Elijah Wood and Robin Williams provide voices. (2/5) Showing at Duke Of York’s The Holiday (12A) Dir: Nancy Meyers Painfully indulgent christmas fare starring Jude Law, Kate Winslet, Jack Black, and Cameron Diaz. A love story without any real heart. (2/5) Showing at Odeon Hot Fuzz (15) Dir: Edgar Wright Superb new offering from the Shaun of the Dead crew. This time it’s the turn of the local bobby to get the comic actioner treatment. The cream of British comedy cram themselves into the picture with everyone from Steve Coogan, Bill Nighy, Martin Freeman, Timothy Dalton and Edward Woodward working their magic. (4/5) Showing at Worthing Theatres The Last Mimzy (PG) Dir: Robert Shay Two siblings begin to develop special talents after they find a mysterious box of toys. Soon the kids, their parents, and even their teacher are drawn into an often terrifying but always cute world. A faithful adaptation of Lewis Padgett’s short story. (2/5) Showing at Cineworld The Lives Of Others (15) Dir: Florian Henckel von Donnersmark Donnersmarck’s astounding movie debut focuses on the horrifying system of observation in the former East Germany in the early 1980s. Winner of Best Foreign Language Film at this year’s Oscars, the film is a subtle examination of Cold War politics and a harsh but evocative portrayal of love, loss, and

personal liberty. (4/5) Showing at Duke Of York’s Meet The Robinsons (U) Dir: Stephen Anderson More animated frolics in the latest from Disney. Lewis is a brilliant inventor with a penchant for the absurd. When his most prized invention, the Memory Scanner, is stolen he must travel back in time to to save the world and his own fate. A film with a cheeky grin for sure, but it still falls short of Pixar. (2/5) Showing at Cineworld and Odeon Mr Bean’s Holiday (PG) Dir: Steve Bendelack Mr Bean returns with his goofy ways as he travels to the south of France. While on holiday mishap and mayhem predictably ensue as Bean ends up having his video diaries screened at the Cannes Film Festival. (3/5) Showing at Cineworld, Odeon and Worthing Rocky Horror Picture Show (12) Dir: Jim Sharman The ultimate in feel good cult classics, the time warp twist returns to Duke of York’s. Tim Curry plays the sweet-talking transvestite, while Richard O’Brien, Susan Sarandon and Meatloaf add some able support. Pure thrills and sheer joy, this is a film to watch and relish with glee. (4/5) Showing at Duke Of York’s Running With Scissors (15) Dir: Ryan Murphy Augusten Burroughs’ excellent memoir gets adapted in this brash and decidedly kooky film which portrays an eccentric family of misfits and intellectuals. (3/5) Showing at Odeon Sunshine (15) Dir: Danny Boyle Set 50 years into the future, this sci-fi epic sees Danny Boyle resurrect a genre that hasn’t been at full strength since the heady days of Aliens or Outlander. Set in a world where the sun is beginning to die, the film sees a crew of astronauts sent on a mission to revive the sun and save the world. This is a film with a prescient global warming nerve. (4/5) Showing at Cineworld, Duke of York’s, and Odeon Wild Hogs (12A) Dir: Walt Becker Defiantly oddball cinema gets an airing with an eclectic cast in this comedy farce. John Travolta, Tim Allen, William H Macy, and Martin Lawrence team up for a road trip amid a series of slapstick goofs. (2/5) Showing at Cineworld and Odeon

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L7 lowdown The hipster king New releases reviewed

Half Nelson (15)

7 Selects

Director Ryan Fleck Ryan Gosling delivers an Oscarnominated performance in this charming but brutal tale of class, drugs, sex, and friendship. Gosling plays a history teacher in Brooklyn whose unorthodox methods in the classroom make him far more popular with his students than his principal. Out of the class he tries to numb his idealism with drugs, sex, and alcohol until his two worlds collide and events become serious.

Shareeka Epps gives a subtle but powerful performance as Gosling’s accidental confidante. This is a film that almost slipped under the radar on its original release, but its warmth and honesty shine.

Craig Driver Showing at Duke Of York’s

Shooter (15)

Blades Of Glory (12A)

Directors Josh Gordon & Will Speck Will Ferrell goes back to doing what he does best in this icy farce set in the all too ripe for satire world of figure skating. Set in the 2002 Olympics, Ferrell stars alongside John Heder (Napoleon Dynamite) as the two of them are stripped of their gold medals and banned from their sport only to find an unconventional and somewhat ridiculous loophole which allows them to skate together. While the jokes may at times seem like outtakes from from any number of the frat pack comedies, the continual sense that this is done defiantly tongue in cheek keeps it sweet. When you have subject matter so ripe for ridicule, it’s hard not to hit the funny bone.

Showing at Cineworld and Odeon

Perfect Stranger (15)

Director James Foley This steamy tale of intrigue and double crossing in business is a film with more budget than brains. Bruce Willis stars as a high flying businessman under investigation by undercover reporter Halle Berry. A cat and mouse game begins as the two leads circle each other amid contrived cinematography and a script so leaden it sinks from the very off. Director, Foley has sunk a long way since the excellent Glengarry Glen Ross and could do with some real character actors here to flesh out the weak dialogue.

Showing at Cineworld

Director Antoine Fuqua This gruff but occasionally effective thriller sees Mark Wahlberg play an exgovernment assassin called back into duty to save the president, only to be double crossed and hunted. It’s been done before in a similar vein, but here Fuqua injects some neat touches and slick action sequences to breathe new life into the whole ‘me-against-theworld’ concept. Wahlberg is able as the excellently named assassin, Bob Lee Swagger, but it’s old timer Ned Beatty, he who was ‘pig-raped’ in Deliverance, who steals the show.

Showing at Cineworld and Odeon

Alpha Dog (15)

Director Nick Cassavetes This grimy little film charts the rise and fall of Jesse James Hollywood, a drug dealer who became the youngest person ever to feature on the FBI’s most wanted list. Bruce Willis and Harry Dean Stanton add some grizzly sleaze as a pair of older associates, while Sharon Stone delivers a suitably sour performance as the mother in strife. While the film might not reach the dour heights of Nick Cassavetes’s father and his approach to cinema, this remains a strong if dramatically flawed account of a life lived in the servitude of debauchery and crime. With over 300 uses of the word ‘f*ck’, this is intense stuff, but for all its bluster it’s never truly convincing.

Showing at Cineworld

Helen Jack listens in as original indie king Richard Linklater talks about his new film Fast Food Nation

“I don’t feel comfortable being dubbed the voice of a generation,” says the man on centre stage, as he squirms awkwardly in the constraints of his chair. Looking nondescript in a pair of jeans, a black t-shirt and trainers, the self-taught writer-director from Houston, Texas is more modest than one would expect as he discusses his latest project Fast Food Nation and his influential filmmaking career.

Richard Linklater first emerged from the indie circuit in the spring of 1991 with his underground hit Slacker. Slowly gaining credibility and recognition, he eventually got funding for his brilliant stoner comedy Dazed and Confused (1993) two years later. With filmic achievements such as Before Sunrise (1995), Waking Life (2001) and more recently, A Scanner Darkly (2006), Linklater has displayed his taste for diverse projects. Suspending his education in 1982 to work on an off-shore oil rig, Linklater would use the time he had on shore in movie theatres, watching up to three or four films a day. He describes the cinematic experience as, “entering a parallel universe that is much more appealing than everyday life.” A sentiment most of us can relate to.

Leaving the Gulf of Mexico, Linklater eventually relocated to Austin, Texas, where he began writing short stories and screenplays, living off the money he had saved. His first investment was in an 8mm camera, a projector, film stock and editing equipment. He fervently believes that anyone can make a film and plays down the importance of formal film education: “People can teach themselves by reading books and watching films. That’s what I did! I had friends in film school and I hated the way they were always being judged. I hate being judged.” Linklater jokes about his habit of comparing his work to that of others. After making his first short, Woodshock (1985) at twenty-five, he would often look back on the achievements of Orson Welles at the same age and dismiss his own projects as futile. An anxiety he now recognises as ridiculous. “You can’t compare yourself to other people all the time,” he says. “That’s not how it works.”

Linklater returns several times during the interview to the pleasures he has found in collaborating with actors. “Directing is egotistical. It’s about convincing other people that you have a great idea and that they should help you complete your project,“ he explains. “But, it’s also very ego-less to work with actors and mould the script to them. When the text meets the person, this is the greatest moment in filmmaking.”

When working on Before Sunrise with Ethan Hawke and Julie Delphy, Linklater explains that it took a long time for the two actors to feel at ease. “People have this idea that the film was all improvised and that there wasn’t a script. This wasn’t the case at all. It takes a lot of practice to create performances that appear so unrehearsed!” When asked how he felt about his films often being described as plotless, Linklater was keen to defend his position: “I don’t understand the plot in most films that I see. My 13-year-old daughter has to explain it to me!”

Linklater shies away from the notion that he was a ray of hope to the disaffected twenty-somethings of Generation X during the 90s. He is more forthcoming in lending this appraisal to author Douglas Coupland, whose book first branded the term. Linklater is stripped of pretension as he explains he only ever wanted to make films about his friends and how they dealt with unemployment, boredom and their artistic drives.

These themes of socialist thought and Marxist prerogative are apparent in most of Linklater’s films. His existential influences stem from philosophical French literature and European art films, most notably directors such as Eric Rohmer and Robert Bresson. Whether or not he likes the idea, Richard Linklater seems destined to be remembered as a seminal filmmaker and the voice of several generations.

Fast Food Nation is on limited release now

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THE BIG GIG

THIS WEEK Pop Levi Ninja Tunes’ Pop Levi, the former Ladytron bassist, produces a sound so brittle and lush it swishes, struts and seduces. Hailed as being a missing link between Eddie Cochran, Prince and The White Stripes, Mr Levi calls himself ‘a truly bizarre whirlwind’.

Musically, he inhabits the rarefied world of astral funk-folk of the space cadet variety. Debut album The Return To Form Black Magick Party is out now.

Wednesday 18 April, Audio, Brighton, 01273 606906

David Kitt

From The Jam The Jam’s last ever concert was at the Brighton Centre in 1982. Now, 25 years later Messrs Foxton and Buckler have got together again.

21 Dec, Brighton Centre, 0870 900 9100

Latest 7’s Top 5 records Switches Heart Tuned To DEAD (album Atlantic) Irreverent they may be, but Southend’s finest have found a winning formula with stompin’ glam and 70s soft rock. They’ve shamelessly pilfered from the good books of Supertramp, T Rex, Slade, Queen and all those bombastically rocking acts that made the 70s such a brilliant decade for music in general. Think about it – it started with The Beatles’ demise, and ended with new wave and post-punk in full flow. What a decade! Anyway, I digress – like The Feeling, it truly is all about sloganeering, easy-to-digest nuggets of uplifting and hedonistic la la las. Shameless good fun!

1

Polytechnic Down Til’ Dawn (album Shatterproof) Manchester five-piece who deal in sun-drenched melodies over faintly hypnotic grooves, with Byrds-type guitars.

2

The Waterboys Book Of Lightning (album W14 Music) Return to form for Mike Scott, and a more eclectic collection than normal, with plenty of raw rhythmic riffing that sounds a bit like The Replacements. There’s still some classic Waterboys epic folk roots action for those who fell in love with This Is The Sea and Fisherman’s Blues.

3

Bright Eyes Cassadaga (album Polydor) Another bewitching collection of cinematic country and lounge vibes from Conor Oberst. There’s a big, epic soundscape here, like a Bruce Springsteen record.

4

Grant-Lee Phillips Strangelet (album Cooking Vinyl) Laid-back alt-rock and acoustica that coasts along pleasantly enough without demanding too much of the listener. There’s a bit of reverbdrenched Bolan in among the intimate and generally-sparse production.

5

Prolific singer songwriter from Ireland who has just released his fifth album on Rough Trade, Not Fade Away, a continuation of a relaxed style that effortlessly harmonises texture, rhythm and melody. Art-rock guitar, Germanic synthesisers, hip hop patterns, loved-up soul, and a natural, unaffected voice are the basic ingredients. Earlier this year he did a UK tour with his mates, The Magic Numbers, who also performed on a couple of the new album’s tracks.

Sat 21 April, Audio, Brighton, 01273 606906

Fields This Anglo-Icelandic electronic/indie band formed in London, and only started gigging at the beginning of last year, sparking a typically ugly bidding war among UK record companies, eventually won by Atlantic. Their debut album, the austere epic indie of Everything Last Winter has just been released. Within the sometimes oppressive swirl of indie bombast and burbling electronics, there is a healthy seam of off-kilter pastoralism running through their music: an interesting proposition from a band who make a point of releasing their records on vinyl, and who have a love of bands such as Pentangle.

Thurs 19 April, Pavilion Theatre, Brighton, 01273 709709

Skatalites Amazing and legendary ska band who practically invented the genre back in the early 60s when the original line-up played on countless Jamaican records at the cusp of the ska revolution.

Still featuring several original members (who are all in their 70s!), their show last year at the Corn Exchange demonstrated what a silky yet raw, clear yet fully rounded sound the band produce, generally creating the warmest of grooves and most uplifting vibe.

Sun 22 April, Komedia, Brighton, 01273 647100

For music listings see our day-to-day guide starting on page 41 30 latest 7

If you would like your event listed please email listings@thelatest.co.uk

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BRIGHTON SCENE

THE MONTH AHEAD

A weekly round-up of what’s happening in the local Brighton and Sussex music scene Windmill If you can get over the very whiney voice then you could well be rewarded by an unusual talent in the form of Windmill (Sun 22 April, Prince Albert). Sounding like he could come from the southern states of America, Matthew Thomas Dillon is acquiring a bit of a cult following for his one-man sound, built around a piano – Mercury Rev and Grandaddy spring to mind. New album Puddle City Racing Lights is an often gloomy affair, but then again there’s a lot of gloom-mongers out there who feel uplifted when listening to records of this kind!

Mechanical Bride are in support.

The rather provocative The Death Of Nightlife is the name of the new album by Help She Can’t Swim Help She Can’t Swim (Mon 23 April, Pressure Point). They obviously need to get out a bit more and let their hair down (as opposed to playing loud and deafening music in smoky venues to bored kids!), as this is a caustic, almost vitriolic tirade against, yes, you guessed it, hedonistic partying and nightlife culture. Where are the B-52’s when you need ‘em?! Nevertheless they are accumulating quite a large, underground following who appreciate that the classy and dynamic punk racket they make has ‘art school’ written all over it.

The psychedelic electro rockers My Federation finally have their Honey Bee EP see the light of day through Eye Industries. As well as being involved in the multi-media music, film and comedy extravaganza that is the They Can And They Will club night, Lee ‘Muddy’ Baker and crew are set to play at this year’s Great Escape in Brighton. Other local talents hawking their musical wares at Brighton’s answer to South By Southwest on 17–19 May are Drookit Dogs, smallwhitelight, British Sea Power, Paul Steel, Lucky Jim and Beardyman.

Send your music and news to Jeff Hemmings, Music Editor, Latest 7, Unit 1, Level 5, New England House, New England Street, Brighton BN1 4GH. Listen to Jeff and guests from the Latest magazine stable on the Latest Live show on Radio Reverb, Mon–Fri, 46pm, 97.2FM or via www.radioreverb.com

The Church These legendary psychedelic rockers from Australia are best known for their 1988 album Starfish. Their music is a very broad palette whose foundations are laid by the unique guitar sounds of Marty Willson Piper and Peter Koppes, complemented by the surrealistic and dreamy vocals of bass-playing Steve Kilbey. Consistently popular since the 1980s they had the honour of playing in front of 100,000 people at the opening ceremony of the Commonwealth Games in Melbourne recently.

Sat 28 April, Concorde 2, Brighton, 01273 673311

Miss Dynamite Niomi MacLean-Daley was born in London to a Scottish mother and Jamaican father, the eldest of 11 siblings! After working briefly with So Solid Crew, she released her debut album, A Little Deeper in 2002, which featured two hits ‘It Takes More’ and ‘Dy-Na-Mi-Tee’. And it was an immediate hit with critics and fans alike, culminating in her winning the Mercury Music Prize (she donated the £20,000 prize to the NSPCC).

Her first public performance was not until the closing ceremony of the 2002 Commonwealth Games at the City of Manchester Stadium! And just three years later she performed at the Live 8 concert in Hyde Park, London. It’s quite a story for someone who was effectively discovered in a West End club. Her latest album Judgement Days is a reflection of acute political and social concerns.

However, she has withdrawn quite substantially from the public eye, and this is a rare chance to see her. She will be performing with her brother Akala, a respected MC in his own right.

Fri 27 April, The Beach Club, Brighton, 01273 722272

NOWBOOKING

My Federation

latest 7 on the radio Tune into Radio Reverb 97.2FM Mon-Fri, 4-6pm, for the latest music, art, culture, politics, community and entertainment news, with Jeff Hemmings and guests.

If you would like your event listed please email listings@thelatest.co.uk

Miss Dynamite 27 Apr, The Beach Club The Church 28 Apr, Concorde 2 One Night of Queen 28 Apr, Brighton Centre Deep Purple 29 Apr, Brighton Centre Australian Pink Floyd 30 Apr, B’ton Centre Jason Donovan 1 May, Brighton Dome James Burton + Billy Swan 7 May, Concorde 2 Chris Difford 8 May, Komedia The loveGods 10 May, Komedia Shooglenifty 11 May, Komedia The Great Escape 17-19 May, various venues in Brighton, www.escapegreat.com Willy Mason 18 May, Pavilion Theatre Tom McRae 20 May, Concorde 2 G4 24 May, Brighton Centre Ray Davies 26 May, Brighton Centre Girls Aloud 29 May, Brighton Centre Pet Shop Boys 30 May, Brighton Centre Manic Street Preachers 6 June, B’ton Dome

CocoRosie 12 June, Komedia, Brighton Allen Toussaint 15 June, Brighton Dome INXS 17 June, Brighton Dome Ronan Keating 21 June, Stanmer Park Devo 18 June, Brighton Dome The Best of OMD 22 June, Brighton Dome Blackmore’s Night 23 June, Brighton Dome Jools Holland & Lulu 23 June, Borde Hill Garden, Haywards Heath Royal Philharmonic 24 June, Stanmer Park Donny Osmond 13 Oct, Brighton Centre Don McLean 23 Oct, Brighton Centre Ian Hunter 30 Oct, Komedia Dio, lommi, Butler and Appice 11 Nov, Brighton Centre Alice Cooper + Motorhead 13 Nov, Brighton Centre Babyshambles 25 Nov, Brighton Centre From The Jam 21 Dec, Brighton Centre

latest 7 31

032_LS317_RR/Molly

4/12/07

5:15 PM

Page 2

RADIOREVERB

Foxy Mamma Malone On a train, Malone receives some unwanted attention near the toilets

97.2fm

Good reverberations Latest 7 talks to Stuart Ross about community cohesion and Brighton’s new, life-enhancing local radio station, RadioReverb Radio with a true voice In Brighton and Hove we all walk through the same Laine, sit on the same beach and enjoy the unique atmosphere that is characteristic of our city… but how many of us actually know who our neighbours are?

Now into its second month of broadcasting, RadioReverb on 97.2 FM has caused a ripple in the city by re-connecting people and introducing them to aspects of our city that they may have otherwise never encountered. Through an inimitable 24/7 schedule that is packed with shows that have a strong voice, RadioReverb is reinventing radio and its purpose, by informing as well as entertaining its listeners.

RadioReverb has re-claimed the word ‘community’ and its sole mission is to get communities making programmes. Brighton and Hove is comprised of many diverse communities and we all belong to at least one, whether this is the business community, the artistic community, the lesbian and gay community, your street community, and all have a space on air with RadioReverb.

Stuart Ross, a director at RadioReverb comments: “RadioReverb successfully utilises the two-way platform of communication that is radio and that many broadcasters have forgotten. Our programme makers are not professional journalists or DJs, but local people who have something interesting to communicate and believe that it will also enhance the lives of those who are listening.”

He continues: “The station will bring people closer together and make previously disparate groups and individuals aware of their commonalities. RadioReverb is a station to serve every resident in the city, whatever their background or radio experience.”

RadioReverb broadcasts 24/7 on 97.2 FM and can be heard online at www.radioreverb.com

“I wish that was my baby, you tell your man when you get home tonight, how lucky he is, yeah?” Okay-ee. “I like your trainers,” he says, touching his black eye. “They’re fake,” I reply, getting up to walk towards the doors of the train. It’s not my stop, but these guys are bugging me now. “Just say if we’re intimidating you, and we’ll go,” says the boy. He drops his beer and looks up sheepishly. “We’re a bit drunk y’know.”

Rocking the baby back and forth I say, “Well, as long as you’re happy.”

“You girl could make me a lot happier,” he replies. Yuck.

If I weren’t standing there with my baby trying to get her to have a lunchtime nap, if I had been on my own, I would have walked away. But I was trapped, because Great Britain likes to build trains where you can’t actually push a buggy or a wheelchair down the aisle of the train.

Instead, they prefer to store us second class citizens next to the toilets, therefore becoming the butt of drunken idiots requiring the toilet, but finding it not in working order. “I need to p*ss man, I need to p*ss.” He goes near the toilets. “I wouldn’t walk over there lady,” he advises. Gee, thanks. “So how come you going to Brighton?” he asks. I think about telling him to do one, but I can’t work out if they’re all right and just drunk, or if they are actually nasty pieces of work. Ignoring them isn’t an option, so I play bored mum trying to get her baby to sleep and hope they will go away. I just can’t relax.

“Great Britain likes to build trains where you can’t actually push a buggy or a wheelchair down the aisle of the train” I’ve just been up at the allergy clinic in London, found out the baby has a rare wheat allergy – not just an intolerance where it makes you bloated, but an actual allergy like people have to nuts. I’m tired and want to relax, not have to keep my guard up the whole journey. Luckily the baby is being good, even taking a long nap while I’m being hassled by these fools. “Well, I live in Brighton”, I say, rocking the buggy, hoping she’s asleep now, and his loud slurring won’t wake her. “Is it!” he exclaims. Rubbing his black eye he asks: “Did you move to get away from trouble?” “I moved from London for a better quality of life.

Where’d you get your black eye?” I ask, motherly. “I wanted a one-onone fight but they all come for me with tools, man.” I read the paper and watch TV, and teenagers are being killed everywhere with ‘tools’. What happened to just a good ol’ fashioned fight? Kids these days are just lazy, they can’t even beat someone up without using a weapon to do it.

I blame Sony PlayStations, Mr Muscle kitchen cleaner, and remote controls. In my day you had to walk six feet to turn the TV over! We knew about hard work… ahem. The boys notice another girl (one without a pram) and move on. I hear one say: “Mate, you’ve more chance with the one with the baby.”

For comments and chit chat email editorial@thelatest.co.uk

Crossword solutions Solution to Cryptic 88 ACROSS: 1 Robbery 5 Crate 8 Signature 9 Pod 10 Treat 12 Humdrum 13 Sluice 14 Tragic 17 Otalgia 19 Fusil 21 Ski 22 Religious 24 Range 25 Dreamer.

DOWN: 1 Reset 2 Bag 3 Elastic 4 Youths 5 Cream 6 Asparagus 7 Endemic 11 Education 13 Sponsor 15 Refugee 16 Ballad 18 Gorge 20 Loser 23 Ohm. Solution to Quick 88 ACROSS: 1 Hostile 5 Start 8 Admission 9 Ice 10 Hands 12 Inexact 13 Resist 14 Empire 17 Drifter 19 Regal 21 Ape 22 Saccharin 24 Elsie 25 Sedated.

DOWN: 1 Heath 2 Sum 3 Insists 4 Elicit 5 Singe 6 Animating 7 Theatre 11 Nastiness 13 Radiate 15 Marched 16 Erects 18 Taste 20 Lined 23 Rut. © Crossword Shop

32 latest 7

For coverage in this magazine email editorial@thelatest.co.uk

033_LS317_barsbarreview/clubs

4/12/07

11:58 AM

Page 3

BARS &CLUBS

★A star performance at The Old Barn, Felpham OK, this one may not be local, but the weather is warmer and the evenings lighter – so weekends out exploring the surrounding areas of Sussex are in order.

And with good reason too, as heading west towards Bognor Regis lies The Old Barn, recently voted ‘Star Performer’ by London-based brewer and pub operator Fuller Smith and Turner.

The Old Barn received this rating from customer reviews submitted to www.proudofyourpride.com. London Pride drinkers can register on the site and vote for where they sampled the premium cask ale London Pride.

As a converted thatched barn in the village of Felpham, near Bognor Regis, The Old Barn is a traditional free house where a warm welcome goes alongside ales like Discovery Blonde beer and of course, London Pride.

Ideal for a Sunday stop-off after a walk through the village, bask in the local charm and character of this free house.

Zara Friend

THIS WEEK AND THE MONTH AHEAD Honey @ Honey Club When every third club press release that pings through the Latest 7 inbox seems to promise the ‘second coming’ (complete with a DJ set from Judge Jules) it’s nice to see a night keeping it simple. Honey’s raison d’être ain’t pushing the boundaries, it’s just about looking good and having fun – a sterling remit by anyone’s standards. Turn up on Friday for a quality house set from glamour bunny Kate Lawler – and before you ask: yes, she can mix all by herself, which is more than you can say for certain other bigname DJs. Honey Club, 214 King’s Road Arches, Fri 20 April, 10pm–4am, £8/£5.

Erisian Discharge @ Volks Named after the kind of condition you should probably see a doctor about, it’s no surprise that Erisian Discharge aren’t messing around with anything as namby-pamby as house music. Your £4 door tax grants you access to a dark underworld that’s grimier than Frank Bough’s dungeon, featuring lashings of breakcore and dubstep from people with tricky names like eN and F***nose. Grr. Scary.

Volks, 3 Madeira Drive, 17 April, 11pm–4am, £4/£3

Born Bad @ Komedia A haven for modern rockabilly types who revel in being born under a bad sign (baby), Born Bad offer delinquent rhythms designed to titillate discerning hep cats and kittens. Christened ‘Brighton’s Best Night Out’ by someone from The Guardian who’s never left West London, it’s still eminently worthy of your rock’n’roll attentions, and frankly there’s nowhere else you can hear surf-style sleaze next to rococo exotica.

Komedia, 44-47 Gardner Street, 20 April, 11pm–3am, £6/£5

Slackers Convention @ Concorde 2 For a night that’s named itself after the Brighton underground’s propensity for a good old jazz-cigarette-assisted lie down, this lot sure have a lot of night-time energy. Cutting the slack this time around will be breaks hero General Midi, who unleashes his new Y4K album on the known universe tonight. Elsewhere Cursor Miner, DirtPop and DJ Space will be quenching nasty beat pangs with titanium-plated breaks and beats.

Concorde 2, 3 Madeira Drive, 21 April, 11pm–5am, £10/£8/£5 advance

The Old Barn, 42 Felpham Road, Felpham, Bognor Regis. Call 01243 821564.

LATE NIGHT BARS

It’s past midnight, you’re still thirsty, but don’t want to go clubbing; here’s our guide to after-hours drinking Above Audio 10 Marine Parade, Brighton, 01273 606906 Sun–Thu, until 1am, Fri–Sat, until 2am Aqua Bar 23 Waterfront, Brighton Marina, 01273 819800, Sun–Thu, 11am–12am, Fri–Sat, 11am–2am Arc Bar 160 King’s Road Arches, Brighton, 01273 770505, Mon–Sun, until 2am Cosmopolitan Bar The Cosmopolitan Hotel, 29-31 New Steine, Marine Parade, Brighton, Mon–Thu, 4pm–12am, Fri 4pm–2am, Sat 3pm–2am, Sun 12pm–11.30pm Earth and Stars 46 Windsor Street, Brighton, 01273 722879, Sun–Thu, until 1am, Fri–Sat, til 2am The Fiddler’s Elbow 11 Boyce’s Street,Brighton, 01273 325850, Sun–Thu, until 2am, Fri–Sat, until 3am Fish Bowl 74 East Street, Brighton, 01273 777505, Sun–Wed, until 2am, Thu–Sat, until 3am The Freebutt 1 Phoenix Place, Brighton, 01273 603974, Sun–Thu, until 12am, Fri–Sat, until 1am The Globe 78 Middle Street, Brighton, 01273 770685, Sun–Wed, until 2am, Thu–Sat, until 3am Grand Central 29-30 Surrey Street, Brighton, 01273 329086, Sun–Wed, until 12am, Thu–Sat, until 2am The Hope 11-12 Queen’s Road, Brighton, 01273 325793, Sun–Wed, until 12am, Thu–Sat, until 2am

The Joogleberry 14-17 Manchester Street, Brighton, 01273 687171, Mon–Sat, 11am–1am, Sunday until 12am Koba 135 Western Road, Brighton, 01273 720059, www.kobauk.com.

Mon–Thu, until 5am, 24 hours over the weekend.

Rehab Bar Waterfront, Brighton Marina, 01273 675007, Sun–Thu, until 12am Riki Tik 18A Bond Street, Brighton, 01273 683844, until 3.30am Fri and Sat Saqqara 158 North Street, Brighton, 01273 779701, until 2am Sidewinder 65 St James’s Street, Brighton, 01273 608571, Sun–Thu, until 1am, Fri–Sat, until 2am St. Christopher’s The Palace Hotel, 10–12 Grand Junction Road, Brighton, 01273 202035, open until 2am Vanilla 73A Western Road, Hove, 01273 748182, Tue–Thu, 5.30pm–1.30am, Fri–Sat, 5pm–2.30am, Sun 12pm–1am, closed Mondays Western Front 11 Cranbourne Street, Brighton, 01273 725656, Sun–Wed, until 2am, Thu–Sat, until 3am Zoot Street Bar 8 Queen’s Road, Brighton, 087 1223 5776, Sun–Wed, 5pm–11pm, Thu–Sat, 5pm–1am

For bar/club listings see our day-to-day guide starting on page 41 latest 7 33

034_LS317_gay

4/12/07

4:27 PM

Page 2

GAY

News

Fancy strutting your stuff in the Alternative Panto?

Fresh from sell-out performances last Christmas, Brighton’s Alternative Panto organisers are looking for characters for the show. Have you got what it takes to shake your magic beans at Sleeping Beauty Maisie Trollette? Could you escape the long claws of Dave Lynn? Next year’s panto, in February 2008, will be a camp tribute to the fantastic pantos of the 1960s and 1970s. If you’re game for a laugh and fancy a bit of ‘he’s behind you’ fun, email brianralfe@aol.com.

Oh do BHAVE! BHAVE: Brighton and Hove Alternative Vehicle Enthusiasts are a social group with a keen interest in various modes of classic transport.

They meet once a month at The Hub on St James’s Street and visit events throughout the year. Whether cars, double decker buses or tanks float your boat, they want to hear from you at bhavegroup@googlemail.com

Filipino cops can’t mince Filipino police chiefs are warning gay officers not to sway their hips when on duty. Cops say that although the force doesn’t discriminate against gays, any ‘abnormal’ conduct might get them sacked.

Amsterdam, 11 Marine Parade Bar, hotel, sauna and popular summer terrace. Food available every day. 01273 688825 www.amsterdam.uk.com Aquarium, 6 Steine Street Traditional backstreet boozer.

01273 605525 www.pleisure.com Barley Mow, 92 St George’s Road Mixed and friendly local in Kemp Town serving good food.

Nice outside terrace too.

01273 682259 Brighton Rocks, 6 Rock Place Fabulously stylish bar and restaurant with outside decking. 01273 601139 Bulldog, 31 St James’s Street Landmark gay pub for 25 years.

Entertainment, happy hours.

01273 694097 www.bulldogbrighton.com Charles Street, 8 Marine Parade Huge, swish café-bar serving food, has outside terrace, ’til 3am Fri/Sat. 01273 624091 www.charlesstreetbar.com Doctor Brighton’s 16–17 Kings Road Popular pub with huge vodka selection.

01273 328765 www.pleisure.com Fountain Inn High Street, Handcross Gay oasis in the countryside near Gatwick and very popular.

01444 400218 www.fountainpub.co.uk Jack Horner, 80 High Street, Worthing Worthing’s only gay pub. Some themed nights. 01903 236427

34 latest 7

Legends Bar, Dance and Hotel 31-34 Marine Parade Recently reopened after a multimillion pound refit.

Marine Tavern, 13 Broad Street Cosy, traditional and friendly boozer with real beer.

01273 681284 www.marinetavern.co.uk Marlborough, 4 Princes Street Large pub popular with the girls, with a great theatre upstairs.

01273 570028 www.marlboroughtheatre.co.uk PV, 22 Upper North Street Great mixed pub with cool interior and regular live music.

01273 325491 www.thepv.co.uk Queen’s Arms, 7 George Street Opens 3pm daily. Top acts every night. 01273 696873 www.queensarmsbrighton.com R-Bar, 7 Marine Parade Open till 2am, Sun–Thu; 24 hours, Fri–Sun. 01273 608133 www.revenge.co.uk Revue Bar, 19 New Steine Stylish bar, friendly atmosphere.

01273 607456 Star Inn, 5–9 Manchester Street Menus every day, Sunday roasts. Live big screen sports.

01273 601450 www.starinnbrighton.com Vavoom, 31 Old Steine Video bar, right next door to Revenge. 01273 603010 www.vavoom.co.uk White Horse, 30 Camelford Street Friendly mixed local.

01273 603726 The Zone, 33 St James’s Street Bar promising something different for Brighton’s drinkers.

01273 626442

Tue 17 Apr

Fri 20 Apr

V2 club Open 10pm-late. Music videos upstairs and karaoke downstairs until 12am.

Revenge 10.30pm-5am. Lollipop Vs Kinky Dangerous. DJ Dulcie Danger upstairs with the fabulous Lollipop Girls hosting downstairs. £5 before 11, £7 after.

Wed 18 Apr Queen’s Arms 2:30-11:30pm. Food, wi-fi access and happy hour ’til 7pm. Back to school!

Cabaret with Lola Lasagne at 9.30pm.

Thu 19 Apr Charles Street Club 10.30pm-3am. Religion. As always, hosted by notorious Mother Superior Joan Bond with DJs Richard Jones and Tony B on the decks. £5/£4 flyer/£3 NUS.

Sat 21 Apr Star Inn 11am-1am. Food 12-4pm.

Proud To Bear night 8pm.

Sun 22 Apr Charles Street Club 10.30pm-3am. New! Sunday Service from the fabulous Religion team. £4/£3 NUS.

Mon 23 Apr Marlborough 12pm-12am. Students’ social night from 6pm.

Games, pool and tunes.

3SIXTY is Brighton’s brightest monthly gay magazine with news, interviews, features and listings for the gay scene around Brighton and Hove.

April’s edition is out now. Pick up your free copy across the city.

You can also now download a full issue at www.3sixtymag.co.uk 3SIXTY T: 01273 570570 E: info@3sixtymag.co.uk

Maisie Trollette, aka David Raven

Pubs & bars

CHOICE

Clubs Audio Hosts Sunday Sundae 10 Marine Parade Weekly chill out with occasional specials and drink promos.

01273 606906 Candy Bar, 129 St James’s Street UK’s only lesbian nightclub, ’til 3am, Fri/Sat. 01273 622424 www.thecandybar.co.uk Charles Street Club, 8 Marine Parade Sleek club above Charles Street Bar, nightly promoters.

10pm–2am, 01273 624091 Harlequin, 43 Providence Place Bar/nightclub, cabaret/stripper, Fri/Sat nights. 9pm–4am, Fri/Sat. 01273 620630 www.harlequin-brighton.co.uk Monkey, Brighton Gloucester, 27 Gloucester Place Every Saturday night. www.wildfruit.co.uk 01273 688011 Revenge, 32 Old Steine Huge two-floor club. 10pm-3am, Sun–Thu ’til 5am Fri/Sat ’til 6am www.revenge.co.uk Therapy @ Rehab Waterfront, Brighton Marina A weekly gay night at Brighton Marina. Every Friday. A lovely stylish big bar!

V2, 5 Steine Street Open every night from 8pm ’til late. 01273 603010 Wildfruit, Creation, 78 West Street Usually once a month with themed nights. One for your calendar! www.wildfruit.co.uk

www.latest7.co.uk

tasty sussex!

‘Seasonal’ and ‘local’ are the buzz words in food today and Sussex is at the forefront of that movement. Producers, suppliers and restaurants are all striving to give customers the very best of local produce as it comes to market and we plan to celebrate that success.

To join in our promotion of the very best of Sussex food call Kate now on 01273 818150

035_LS317_stage

4/12/07

1:02 PM

Page 1

STAGE

Ballet high West Sussex dance students are given a unique opportunity to perform a classic

Corruption & the church Chichester Festival Theatre’s 2007 season continues with The Last Confession Corruption, conspiracy and the murder of a Pope converge as the Vatican meets Chichester Festival Theatre with the world premiere of The Last Confession this April.

A new play by New York lawyer Roger Crane, The Last Confession delves into the dark chambers of one of the most highly guarded institutions in the world to explore the mystery surrounding the sudden death of Pope John Paul I in 1978. Found dead just 33 days after being elected, suspicions are aroused when it is revealed that the new Pope had warned three of his most influential but hostile Cardinals that they would be replaced only the evening before his death.

The English Youth Ballet are proud to present, for the very first time in Worthing, the timeless classical masterpiece Coppelia – a unique collaboration between world-renowned principal ballet dancers and local dance students.

The English Youth Ballet are a company who pride themselves on being able to give more young performers who live outside the London area the opportunity to benefit from professional teaching and to dance in a full length, traditional ballet.

This fully staged, dazzling production of Coppelia will feature over 100 young dancers from West Sussex and the surrounding area. The students, aged between eight and 18 years were chosen from an extremely large and competitive audition, held at the Connaught Theatre back in November 2006.

Since being selected, the talented youngsters have been benefiting from professional ballet classes, with choreography built around their individual talent level, and are enjoying the social interaction, discipline and anticipation that being part of a professional project involves.

The stunning costumes, uplifting music and beautiful dance sequences will bring the story of Dr Coppelius and his treasured doll to life before your very eyes – don’t miss it!

Coppelia will be on at Connaught Theatre, Worthing on 26–28 April, 7.30pm with 2.30pm Saturday matinee, £14 –£16.

Call 01903 206206 or see www.worthingtheatres.co.uk

The Vatican refuses to conduct an official investigation into the death, typifying the 15 years of controversy and machination within the Church. Distinguished actor David Suchet plays Cardinal Benelli. Trapped in the centre of the furore, he is the only one with the authority to challenge the dead Pope’s enemies. The Last Confession explores the exercise and corruption of power, not only endemic in the Vatican in 1978 but in influential institutions everywhere, where the need to present a uniform front is paramount.

Suchet has had a long and varied career, most recently appearing in Once In A Lifetime at the National Theatre and Man And Boy in the West End and on tour. His many roles with the Royal Shakespeare Company include Lago, Shylock and Caliban and he is well known to television audiences for playing the title role in Agatha Christie’s Poirot on ITV. Director David Jones previously worked with Suchet on the RSC’s Love’s Labours Lost at the Aldwych Theatre in 1975. He also directed The Hothouse at Chichester in 1995.

Roger Crane lives and works in New York and The Last Confession is his first play.

The Last Confession is at Chichester Festival Theatre on 27 April–19 May, £10–£32. Call 01243 781312 or see www.cft.org.uk

Measured performance Latest Award nominees, Hello Id, present Shakespeare’s darkest of dark comedies Hello Id have set the dark Shakespeare comedy Measure For Measure in the darkest and grimmest corners of Victorian London. In attempting to shine a light on the murkiest corners of this vice-ridden town the Duke uncovers a dastardly plot striking closer to home: can a young virgin save her brother’s life?

Can a mysterious stranger save the day? And what is the terrible secret hidden within the moated grange? Through the eyes of the lowliest beggars and whores the truth of human nature is exposed in this wickedly dark and desperate comedy. Evocative, highly theatrical, allconsuming performances provide suspense, thrills, shrieks and gasps!

After the success of their 2006 Fringe debut, Othello (acknowledged for Best Male Performer and Best Play by Three Weeks 2006), Hello Id are headlining an exciting programme of events in the heart of the new cultural quarter, at the Brighton Unitarian Church, transforming this impressive building into a theatre for this inventive production of Measure For Measure.

This is a truly collaborative community event like no other. The original music will be performed by internationally renowned, Brightonbased musicians, including pianist Simon Young.

Costumes and make-up are being provided by local trainees and graduates, and the production itself features a diverse, richly talented cast.

Hello Id was founded in 2005 by a group of young actors/musicians/directors who, through experience gleaned at the Edinburgh Fringe, the Brighton Fringe, Glyndebourne and The National Theatre, saw that young people in Brighton needed an opportunity to showcase their talents to a wider audience.

Last year the company were showered with press acclaim: “A joyous production… accomplished with ease.” There is also praise from participants: “Hello Id has given me a rare chance to experience what it might be like to work in a professional company,.” “It has opened up a pathway to actors and directors who wouldn’t otherwise have the opportunity to work like this. I am proud to be a part of it,” and “Involvement in Hello Id has given me the opportunity to explore and develop my acting and directing skills amid an atmosphere of creativity and genuine passion for the art form.”

Measure For Measure by Hello Id is at Brighton Unitarian on 9–12 May, 7pm with 2pm Saturday matinee, £7/£6. Call 01273 709709 or see www.hello-id.co.uk latest 7 35

036_LS317_stagelistings

4/12/07

4:13 PM

Page 2

STAGE

THEATRE LISTINGS

From Tuesday 17 April to Monday 14 May 2007 BRIGHTON DOME 01273 709709 www.brightondome.org Futurology: A Global Revue The English premiere – a darkly comic show of dance and cabaret, looking at global issues including climate change and low supplies of fossil fuels.

•Sat 5–Thu 10 May, 8pm, £15–£18 Run Lola Run Featuring a live soundtrack from The Bays, this stage performance, based on the BAFTA award nominated film, tells the story about Lola who has to come up with 100,000 marks to save her boyfriend from his gangster nemesis.

•Sat 5 May, 8pm, £16 Simon Armitage and Robert Macfarlane Simon Armitage and Robert Macfarlane delve into the English classic Sir Gawain And The Green Knight. A ghost story, thriller, romance, myth and morality tale rolled into one.

•Sat 5 May, 7.30pm, £7.50 Brighton Festival Youth Choir The dynamic young choir perform choral classics from Purcell to Britten.

•Mon 7 May, 1pm, £7.50 Tom Crean – Antarctic Explorer A multi-award winning one-man show, from Aidan Dooley, looking at the life of Tom Crean.

•Mon 7 May, 1pm, £7.50 Czech National Symphony Orchestra Bringing rich Eastern European sound to the Brighton Festival.

•Wed 9 May, 8pm, £10–£28.50 Wish I Was Here – Jackie Kay Two tragically funny short stories presented by Jackie Kay. Set to a specially commissioned soundscape.

•Fri 11 May, 9pm, £7.50 Import/Export – Les Ballet C De La B A stunning performance combining dance, acrobatics, live music and song, exploring the theme of powerlessness •Sat 12–Tue 15 May, 8pm, £15–£22.50 Sarmistha Guha – Indian Dance Classical Indian dance with rising young Bengali star.

•Sat 12, 1pm, £7.50

BRIGHTON LITTLE THEATRE 01273 777748 www.the-little.co.uk The Merchant Of Venice One of Shakespeare’s best-known plays – a comedy portraying the tormented character of Shylock, who is also a tormenter, creating changing views for the watching audience. Book through the Brighton Festival at www.brightonfestivalfringe.org.uk •Sat 5–Sat 12 May, 7.45pm, £8.50/£7.50

THE CAPITOL, HORSHAM 01403 750220 www.thecapitolhorsham.com Girls’ Night Out Delve into a hen night and discover the saucy goings on and naughty modern views of a group of females.

•Tue 17–Sat 21 April, please call for times and prices

Tosca A tense thriller based around art, love and politics. A political prisoner is hiding out in a church and opera singer Floria Tosca is intent on protecting her lover, who has some involvement with the prisoner.

•Fri 27 Apr, please call for times and price Swing And Sinatra A night of songs from the swing era, with familiar hits from the Rat Pack, Glenn Miller and Ella Fitzgerald.

•Sat 28 Apr, please call for times and price Dangerous Corner Ian Dickens Productions present J B Priestley’s classic thriller where one loose word leads to an explosion of emotions and suspicions.

•Fri 4–Sat 5, please call for times and prices Daisy Pulls It Off Hit And Run Theatre Company present a story about life in an English girl’s boarding school. Daisy must fight off prejudices from snobby classmates while searching for the hidden treasure that will save the fortunes of the school.

•Wed 9–Sat 12 May, please call for times and prices Russian Cossack Dance Company Direct from Moscow, 50 dancers, musicians and singers present a dynamic production packed with energy, performed to a live orchestra.

•Sun 6 May, please call for times and prices Two Kinds Of Magic A show of two halves: acclaimed concert of Queen hits and then the legendary songs of Electric Light Orchestra.

•Wed 9 May, please call for times and prices Big Chris Barber Jazz, swing, blues and big band sounds from 1950s legend Chris Barber.

•Thu 10 May, please call for times and prices

CHICHESTER FESTIVAL THEATRE 01243 781312 www.cft.org.uk Office Suite A double bill from Alan Bennett on the apparent predictability of life in an office, starring Patricia Routledge.

•Tue 17–Thu 12 May. SOLD OUT The Last Confession The world premiere of this new thriller surrounding one of the most highly guarded institutions: The Vatican. (Preshow talk on 3 May.) •Fri 27 Apr–Thu 19 May, please call for show times. £10–£32

THE HAWTH, CRAWLEY 01293 553636 www.hawth.co.uk You Don’t Need To Know That Comic mayhem as a man wakes up to find a policeman at the end of his bed. Did he really commit a crime he can’t recall?

•Tue 17 Apr, 7.45pm, please call for prices The Lesson A charged political piece on how capitalism is following the same pattern as Nazi Fascism, in a country led by capitalist greed and consumer righteousness.

•Fri 20 Apr, please call for times and prices The Comedy Of Errors 07 A Community Arts Production. Please call for more details.

•Thu 26–Sat 28 Apr, please call for times and prices

KOMEDIA, BRIGHTON

Get Up And Go Children’s presenter Dave Benson Phillips joins Big Bear, singing songs together in this fantastic show based on the popular children’s video.

•Sunday 22 April, please call for times and prices Gormenghast Meet the grotesque characters and mysterious rituals at gothic Gormenghast castle. Unravel a web of secrets along this extraordinary tale of greed, madness and love.

•Tue 24–Wed 25 April, please call for times and prices 36 latest 7

01273 647100 www.komedia.co.uk The Little Mermaid Story-tellers Flotsam and Jetsam invite you under the sea to experience the adventures of The Little Mermaid who falls in love with a human prince and, desperate to meet him, casts a deal with the sea witch. Kids show (ages 4+) •Sun 22 Apr, please call for start time, £6/£5 Cowboy Cabaret Komedia is transformed into a Western saloon in this raunchy burlesque comedy complete with gun-slingers and live music.

•Sat 28 Apr, 7pm, £10–£15 The Elves And The Shoemaker Kids show using magical puppets to tell the story of Elvis Schumacher, who creates beautiful footwear but finds people are buying boring shoes from the evil businessman. Can anyone help Elvis?

(Ages 3+.)

•Sun 29 Apr, 2pm, £5

Mayday! The Musical Following the popular Improvability Drive, the Maydays return in a musical extravaganza completely improvised!

•Fri 4–Sat 5 May, 9pm, £8/£7. Tickets from www.ticketsource.co.uk Brecht On Magic Three gods from Bertolt Brecht's play come to earth looking for socialist culture in capitalist society. Settling for a performance by magician Ian Saville, the Gods make his act more revolutionary. From Brechtian Theatre a blend of stand-up comedy, magic, ventriloquism and political commentary.

•Fri 11–Wed 16 May, 6.45pm, £5/£3.50 Cassandra A huge hit on the Canadian Fringe circuit, this is a post-9/11 re-working of the story about Cassandra, who had a gift to see the future but whose curse was not to be believed. An intense drama.

•Fri 11–Sat 12 May, 9.30pm, £6/£5 Clay Time A kids play with clay, where the audience are invited to participate. Interactive theatre with amazing animals and morphing monsters, based on the imagination of the young theatre-goers. Ages 3–6 years.

•Sun 13 May, 12pm and 2pm, £6/£5

•Tue 17–Sat 21 April, 7.45pm, plus 2.30 matinee Thu and Sat. £16–£26 Pam Ann Join Pam Ann – A-list air hostess to the stars (including Elton John) in this special one-night show •Sun 22 April, 7.30pm, £17.50 Kean Passionate and funny theatre based on Robert Kean, the greatest romantic actor of the 19th Century.

•Tue 24–Sat 28 April, 7.45pm plus 2.30pm Thu and Sat, £16–£27 Charley’s Aunt Stephen Tompkinson stars in this comedy about mistaken identity, crossdressing, deranged uncles and ravishing young ladies in Edwardian Oxford.

•Mon 30 Apr–Sat 5 May, 7.45pm plus 2.30pm Thu and Sat, £16–£26 Dublin By Lamplight Set in the filth and fury of 1904 Dublin, fading stars, rebels, whores and romantics feature in this compelling concoction of vaudeville and tragicomedy. Hilarity and theatrical invention ensues •Tue 8–Sat 12 May, 7.30pm plus 2.30pm Sat, £10–£20

WORTHING: CONNAUGHT THEATRE MARLBOROUGH THEATRE, BRIGHTON 07782 278521 www.marlboroughtheatre.co.uk Boutique Burlesque performance with twisted physical theatre and sensual striptease. Come dressed to impress!

•Sat 21 Apr, 8pm, £8/£6.

(Also Fri 4–Sun 6 May) When The Script Hits The Fan The Maydays turn audience suggestions into improvised sketches in this unique stage show.

•Sat 28 Apr, 8pm, £6 Shoe Baby Puppet Show Sing-along adventure about a baby who takes to the sea, the air and the zoo – all in a shoe! Ages 2–6 •Sat 5–Sun 6 May, 4pm and 5pm, £6 Bring Me Einstein/ Robin Fry: Rock Historian Katy Schutte explores the funny side of Hitler’s least favourite genius and Robin Fry gives us a speedy history of rock.

•Sat 5, Fri 11 and Sat 12 May, 10.30pm, £6/£5 Hamlet Halcyon Productions present Max Day’s Hamlet, looking at the possibility of a man going his whole life without really knowing who he is.

•Mon 7–Sat 12 May, 8pm, £10/£8, tickets on 07786 984900 Träuma A sketch show about a seafarer facing a dilemma. Meanwhile, a zoophile raconteur realises his true love. Equal parts disturbing and ludicrous.

•Fri 11–Sun 13 May, 6pm, £8/£6. Tickets on 07786 984900.

Little Howard And The Magic Pencil Of Life And Death Family show from the awardwinning star of CBBC’s The Slammer. Little Howard meets his maker The Pencil Of Creation, but unfortunately on the other end is The Rubber Of Doom.

•Sat 12–Sun 13 May, 2pm, £5/£4. Tickets on 07786 984900.

NIGHTINGALE THEATRE, BRIGHTON 01273 702563 www.nightingaletheatre.co.uk Lunatics Intense and physical look at Jesus’ death and the formation of the Christian Church.

Explicit language/violence – ages 16+ only..

•Sat 5–Mon 7 May (post-performance discussion on Sun 6) 8pm, £8.50/£6.50 Nordic Night Presented by Mara Lloyd and guests. Please contact the venue for more information.

•Tue 8 May, 8pm, £8.50/£6.50 Idyll – A Comic Lament Presented by Unpacked. Please contact the venue for further information.

•Wed 9–Fri 11 may, 8pm, £8.50/£6.50 The Little Girl Who Was Too Fond Of Matches Presented by Impetous Kinship.

Suitable for ages 12+. Please contact the venue for further information.

•Sat 12–Mon 14 May, 8pm, £8.50/£6.50

THEATRE ROYAL, BRIGHTON 08700 606650 www.theambassadors.com/theatreroyal Bargain Black comedy about a man who makes a deal with Mother Teresa of Calcutta, only for his body to be found floating in the Atlantic three years later...

01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk September Tide Daphne du Maurier’s bestselling story of passion and romance, as a widowed woman finds herself falling for her daughter’s new husband.

•Tue 17–Sat 21 Apr, 7.30pm, 2pm Wed and Sat, please call for prices.

The Lesson Presented by the Icarus Collective. Exploring the tutor-pupil relationship. When the pupil displeases the tutor we begin to see a different side in this light, classroom farce and chilling drama.

(Note: contains scenes of a violent nature.)

•Mon 23 Apr, 7.30pm, £12.50 Coppelia English Youth Ballet present the story of Dr Coppelius whose greatest desire is to bring his beloved doll to life.

•Thu 26–Sat 28 Apr, 7.30pm, £16/£14 Danny The Champion Of The World A thrilling adventure based on Roald Dahl’s best-loved book. Danny lives in a caravan with his Dad but face eviction from landowner Mr Hazell. The battle is on to save their home!

•Tue 1–Sat 5 May, times and prices vary – please contact the venue.

WORTHING: PAVILION THEATRE 01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk The Spirit Of Broadway – A Star-Spangled Celebration High energy show with lavish costumes and hit songs from the likes of Grease, Chicago and Cats.

•Tue 17 Apr, 8pm, £15–£19 We’ll Meet Again Relive the spirit of the 1940s in this show paying tribute to Vera Lynn, Bing Crosby and more.

•Wed 18 Apr, 2pm, £10 Calamity Jane New Southern Musical Productions present the story of Jane – who travels to the windy city, transforming herself from a boyish gun-slingin’ gal into a proper lady.

•Wed 25–Sat 28 Apr, 7.45pm plus 2.45pm Sat, £9–£12 Sing-Along–A–Abba Tribute to the Swedish group – sing along to the well-loved hits .

•Wed 2 May, 8pm, £16 The Dolly Parton Story Mandy Winters pays tribute to one of the world’s most successful county entertainers. Backed by a full band, explore the triumphs and heartaches of Dolly’s life.

•Fri 4 May, 7.30pm, £14/£12.50 Vienna Festival Ballet Present Swan lake Stunning compositions by Tchaikovsky tell the well-known love story through dance and music, with lavish costumes and stunning scenery.

•Sat 5 May, 2.30pm and 7.30pm, £14–£19 Our times Productions Presents Follies The legendary musical featuring Stephen Sondheim’s Tony Award-winning score.

Over 50 performers and musicians perform songs including ‘Losing My Mind’ and ‘Broadway Baby.’

•Sun 6 May, 7.30pm, £12–£15

If you would like your event listed please email listings@thelatest.co.uk

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KIDS

EVENTS

Under the sea

THIS WEEK’S PREVIEWS Become a Seven Sisters explorer

Zara Friend discovers a thrilling new submarine experience surfacing at Brighton’s Sea Life Centre

Join the Sussex Wildlife Trust, exploring the scenery and wildlife around the Seven Sisters Country Park near Seaford, this Saturday 21 April.

The special event includes an invigorating four-mile walk over the top of the Downs, enjoying the breathtaking views over the Cuckmere Valley to where the river winds its way down to the open sea.

A designated Area Of Outstanding Natural Beauty, the first of five monthly walks – beginning this Saturday – is a chance for the family to enjoy the great outdoors under the expert guidance of the Sussex Wildlife Trust. Following a habitat trail to Haven Brown – the first of the famous chalk cliffs – discover a view of Sussex which local residents may rarely see and appreciate.

The first walk in the series – Over The Top To Haven Brow – takes place this Saturday 21 April, 10am–1pm, at Seven Sisters Country Park. Suitable for seven years and upwards.

Meet at the Pump Barn (behind the Visitors Centre). Please bring a packed lunch and suitable footwear for some steep climbs. Members £3/£2, family ticket £8; non-members £4/£3, family ticket £12. Booking essential on 01273 497561

A new attraction has surfaced at Brighton Sea Life Centre this month – a fantastic Victorian submarine experience.

The Submarine Adventure takes visitors, both young and old, on an educational journey through the world’s oceans.

From the wild to the restless seas, this unique experience makes a fantastic outing. Toby Forer, senior general manager of the Sea Life Centre says: “Dramatic audio-visual technology create a 360° themed experience, in which our visitors will feel as if they are being submerged within a grand Victorian submarine.”

The Submarine Adventure provides an exciting entertainment experience, similar to the great white shark attraction of last year. Toby and his team are confident the new feature will complement the marine life displays perfectly: “The Victorian theme of the submarine will guarantee that it fits comfortably alongside the ornate Victorian architecture in this, the world’s oldest operating aquarium,” says Toby.

Frequent visitors to the popular seafront attraction will be pleased to see a new addition to the Sea Life Centre experience, alongside the spectacular marine life that attracts families and schools throughout the year.

“The object will be to provide a thrilling and entertaining experience,” Toby says. “And at the same time deliver a powerful marine conservation message.”

Take the high-speed underwater voyage and see black-tipped reef sharks, the tropical reef, complete with its own shipwreck, and a close encounter with a giant squid!

The Victorian Explorer was officially launched over Easter, providing a spectacular finale to a visit to Brighton’s Sea Life Centre.

The Submarine Adventure is open now at Brighton’s Sea Life Centre, opposite Brighton Pier. For opening times and prices call 01273 604234 or visit www.sealifeeurope.com

UPCOMING HIGHLIGHT Your Big Sussex Weekend

To feature in Kids, email editorial@thelatest.co.uk

Now in its second year, Your Big Sussex Weekend takes place Saturday 28 and Sunday 29 April.

Families in both the East and West Sussex areas can experience over 70 attractions involved in the event, with old favourites and new discoveries to be made as the weekend unfolds.

The Big Sussex Weekend is a Tourism East Sussex initiative and sees top attractions including Arundel Wetland Centre and Borde Hill Garden offering 50 per cent and more off entry prices and some offering free entry to Sussex residents.

These venues attract visitors from out of town but Your Big Sussex Weekend is a chance for residents to discover what’s right on their doorstep and take advantage of special offers and events happening over the weekend.

Jackie Ellis, project manager of Tourism East Sussex explains: “We are delighted to be able to offer the people of Sussex these discounted rates to top tourist attractions. It’s also a great way for tourism businesses to say thank you to the residents for the warm welcome they provide to visitors.”

Don’t miss out on this special annual weekend, with a chance to discover the rich heritage and entertainment our county has to offer.

Your Big Sussex Weekend, Saturday 28 and Sunday 29 April. For details of the attractions involved and to download discount vouchers for reduced entry visit www.bigsussex.co.uk or call in at the nearest Tourist Information Centre. Proof of address required.

Zara Friend

To advertise here to over 100,000 people Call Kate on

01273 818150 and find out how effective and inexpensive it is to promote your business 37 latest 7

If you would like your event listed please email listings@thelatest.co.uk

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ART

See more at latest-art.co.uk

Alex James

NORTH LAINE PHOTOGRAPHY GALLERY

Mariella Frostrup

Upstairs, Snooper’s Paradise, Kensington Gardens, Brighton 01273 686506 Miss Aniela The world’s largest portal for exchanging every kind of photography online is www.flickr.com. Miss Aniela is a local photographer registering over a million hits in the last six months. Her site embodies the empowerment of self portrayal, combining stunning imagery with the intimacy of ordinary snapshots of her life. This is her first exhibition.

Until 30 April, Mon-Sat 10.15am-5.45pm, Sun 10.15am-3.45pm

ROYAL PAVILION Royal Pavilion Gardens, Brighton 01273 290900 Stig Evans Artist in residence at the Pavilion, he’s been working with the Pavilion’s conservation department, looking into the history of the building’s painted decorative schemes. A series of his works, inspired by the project, are being exhibited. Until 26 Apr, Mon-Sun 9.45am-5.45pm (hours until end September)

UNIVERSITY OF BRIGHTON GALLERY Grand Parade, Brighton 01273 643101 Drawing Upon Drawing: 50 Years of Illustrating by John Vernon Lord Major retrospective of this illustrator whose work graces books, magazines and advertising media. Until 5 May, Mon-Sat 10am-5pm

THEATRE ROYAL

Richard E Grant

Different strokes PerSona is a unique exhibition featuring the collaborative work of Philippa Stanton and Cambridge Jones, and offers two very different ways of looking at the same subject.

Award-winning photographer Cambridge Jones has photographed everyone from the prime minister to the Queen, as well as a whole host of subjects from the music industry, politics and the acting world. Philippa Stanton is synesthetic, a recognised condition which allows her to see sound in colour, shape and texture (where others can only hear it). Her compelling paintings depict a vivid and personal response to the spoken word. When viewed together these two extraordinarily contrasting images allow a familiar subject to be viewed in an entirely new way.

PerSona will feature Timothy Spall, Johnny Vegas, Jo Brand, David Suchet, Toyah Wilcox, Richard E Grant, Mariella Frostrup, Matthew Rhys, Aidan McArdle and Mark Rylance to name but a few. The exhibition coincides with Theatre Royal Brighton’s bicentenary.

PerSona, Theatre Royal Brighton, 23 April–27 May

ART LISTINGS

mainly from the 18th and 19th centuries including enemies of the state and real-life murderers. Until 30 Sept, Tues 10am-7pm, Wed-Sat 10am-5pm, Sun 2-5pm

CHALK GALLERY North Street, Lewes 01273 474477 21 professional artists from across all media.

Featured artist is Kate Penoyre with her innovative and abstract Sussex landscapes.

Mon-Sun 10am-5pm

CRANE KALMAN, BRIGHTON

Retrospect by Christina Sanders at Arthouse

Kensington Gardens, Brighton 01273 697096 Scenes of Sussex: Where The Hills Meet The Sea Featuring six superb photographers including Fay Godwin, Tim Hall, John Holloway, Linda McCartney, Steve Pyke and Bruce Rae. Until 1 May, Mon-Sat 10am6pm, Sun 10.30am-4.30pm

GRANGE GALLERY ART AT FIVE 5 Bartholomews, Brighton 01273 774222 Showcase of original artwork from emerging creative talent, as well as more established artists. Mon-Sat 10am-6pm, Sun 11am-5pm

The Grange, The Green, Rottingdean 01273 301004 Threads Textile Arts: Identity An exhibition of textile art. Until 30 April, Mon-Sat 10am4pm, Sun 2-4pm

ARTHOUSE

HOVE MUSEUM AND ART GALLERY

Western Road, Hove 01273 770083 Christina Sanders Retrospective exhibition of her photographs on the theme of memories.

Until 30 April, Mon-Fri 4pm-late, Sat and Sun 2pm-late

New Church Road, Hove 01273 290200 Paper Cuts Eight artists employ paper cutting techniques to reflect on our culture and environment. Paper cutting has been used by different cultures throughout history to mark events and religious occasions, and the delicate nature of paper relates to our vulnerability, dreams and ambitions. Until 1 July Susan Edwards Unwanted books that have been transformed into a paper sculpture. 17 April-1 July Wed-Sat 11.30am-5pm, Sun 2-5pm

BRIGHTON MUSEUM AND ART GALLERY Church Street, Brighton 01273 290200 Rogues Gallery: Images of Crime and Punishment Display of popular prints featuring notorious crimes and punishments, 38 latest 7

The Oak Chest: Miss Aniela at North Laine Photography

O CONTEMPORARY Trafalgar Street, Brighton 01273 698500 D*face: Eyecons The notorious urban artist was part of the revolutionary 11 Spring Street event in New York, which attracted a lot of attention. He’ll be exhibiting one of the iconic images from that event along with new subverted icons. Until 6 May, Tue-Fri 10am5.30pm, Sat 10am-6pm, Sun 12am-5pm

New Road, Brighton PerSona Cambridge has photographed the Queen, Tony Blair and a whole host of actors, politicians and musicians. This is a collaboration with Philippa Stanton who is synesthetic, a condition which allows her to see sound in colour, shape and texture. her compelling paintings depict a vivid and personal response to the spoken word.

Together, these contrasting images allow a familiar subject to be viewed in a unique way.

20 subjects have undergone the ‘portrait’ treatment including Richard E Grant, Greta Scacchi, Timothy Spall and David Suchet. 23 April-27 May, during Theatre Royal opening hours and 11am-5pm on Sundays.

PHOENIX GALLERY

WORTHING MUSEUM AND ART GALLERY

Waterloo Place, Brighton 01273 603700 Taking Off! Rocket Artists Group New work by this group, consisting of eight artists with learning disabilities who have been working in collaboration with University Of Brighton students. Until 21 April, Tue-Sat 11am-5pm

Chapel Road, Worthing 01903 221448 Luke Dickinson Sensual stone carvings.

Until 23 Jun Tues-Sat, 10am-5pm Water, Water Everywhere 40 treasures from the museum’s stores, exploring watery themes.

Until 16 Jun, Tues-Sat 10am-5pm

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LISTINGS

YOUR COMPLETE LISTINGS GUIDE STARTS HERE

latestlistings The hottest tickets for the week ahead 17–23 April Pam Ann The Maccabees

★STAND-UP★ Pam Ann

Camp, glam and very funny, the A-list air hostess to the stars and her crew take the audience on the trip of a lifetime. The alter-ego of popular Aussie comic Catherine Reid, Pam Ann recently provided in-flight entertainment for Elton John, no less.

Theatre Royal Brighton, Sunday 22 April, 7.30pm, £17.50

★STAND-UP★ Easy Comedy

★MUSIC★

With a headline set from Funny Women and So You Think You're Funny 2006 finalist Holly Walsh, this promises to be an excellent night.

But on top of that, there’s also the prospect of excellent funnies from Roisin le Bourhis, Graham Standing, Netty Wendt and Mike Switzer.

Smashing stuff all round.

Easy Bar, Brighton, Tuesday 17 April, 8pm, £3

The Waterboys Best known for the hit ‘The Whole Of The Moon’, Mike Scott and band are back with their best album for years, Book Of Lightning. It’s a record that is bound together by Scott’s lyrical talents, Steve Wickham’s electric fiddle, and some truly great songs.

Brighton Dome, Sunday 22 April, 6.45pm, £22.50

★THEATRE★

The Spirit Of Broadway – A Star-Spangled Celebration

The Waterboys

High-energy, feel-good live show with lavish costumes and hit songs from musicals such as Grease, Chicago and Cats.

Worthing Pavilion Theatre, Tuesday 17 April, 8pm, £15-£19

James Taylor

★MUSIC★

★MUSIC★

Legendary 1970s singersongwriter. With no less than 40 gold, platinum and multi-platinum albums and five Grammy awards under his belt, Taylor is back on the road, oddly augmented by a big home-made drum machine.

Expect all the classics: ‘Fire And Rain’, ‘Sweet Baby James’, ‘Carolina In My Mind’, and the ubiquitous ‘You’ve Got A Friend’.

Brighton Dome, Wednesday 18 April, 7.15pm, £40

Brilliant Brighton band on the cusp of big things. Led by the distinctive vocals of Orlando Weeks, this fivepiece make dynamic, melodic indie pop. Their debut album is due in May, as well as a tour with Bloc Party in the USA and more. There should be plenty of support acts for this one including Jack Penate, Blood Red Shoes, Rumble Strips and Peggy Sue & The Pirates.

The Old Market, Hove, Wednesday 18 and Thursday 19 April, 8pm, £9.50

James Taylor

The Maccabees

For venue details see page 47 latest 7 39

040_LS317_reviews

4/12/07

12:08 PM

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Page 2

Under review Recent shows with a sprinkling of home-grown talent

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All budgets catered for – from glossy MTV-style videos to filming pub gigs for your myspace page.

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Bicentenary of the Abolition of the Transatlantic Slave Trade Act On 25 March 2007 it was 200 years to the day that a Parliamentary Bill was passed to abolish the slave trade in the then British Empire. To launch a season of arts events to commemorate the bicentenary, Brighton and Hove City Council presented a free concert featuring the vocal talents of 200 local artists and award-winning musician Cleveland Watkiss, whose vocal range and stage presence really wowed the crowd. Local community choirs performed inspirational a capella routines then joined together to form a mass choir to sing a very moving rendition of Bob Marley’s classic ‘Redemption Song’. The event was attended by over 600 people who all paid tribute to victims of slavery – past and present – by holding a two-minute silence.

Brighton and Hove seafront, 25 March ✌✌✌✌✌ Jenni Lewin-Turner

Comic Boom!

The talent level for this show was exceptionally high as Jo Enright kicked off the night, introducing Rosie Wilby, Funny Women 2006 finalist. She was ably followed by the 100 per cent funny Seann Walsh. Paul Beckett’s measured delivery kept the smiling crowd fully engaged, giving Amanda Severn a warmed-up crowd with

whom to jovially consider the upside of singledom. And just when the bar had been raised all the way up to ‘perma-giggle’, double act Ginger and Black came on and racked it up further still. They blew the audience away with a hilarious and original set that headliner Simon Evans could only struggle to follow, despite the high quality of his act. Great night.

Komedia, 28 March ✌✌✌✌✌ Victoria Nangle

My Little Problem + Paul Mosley If they gave an award for the greatest number of musicians and instruments on stage in one evening at the bijou Joogleberry then this show would definitely be in the running. The infectiously jolly Paul Mosley got the night off to a dazzling start with his intricately crafted songs about death interspersed with filthy banter. He was joined by a deft percussionist and a string quartet that included an astounding glamgoth harpist. The seven members of the My Little Problem troupe then took to the stage to produce their meandering, woozy sounds enhanced by trumpet, banjo, laptop and glorious cello. All in all, an evening that proved, just sometimes, more is more.

Joogleberry Playhouse, 3 April ✌✌✌✌✌ Wendy McAngus

My Little Problem

40 latest 7

Tracy Beaker Gets Real Jaqueline Wilson’s most famous creation may suffer from overexposure – stand up CBBC – but there is no doubt that the trials of feisty care-home kid Tracy resonate with lots of young girls.

This was theatre for tweenies at its best. The comic book characters came alive with all-too human emotions, the story stayed true to the book’s themes of abandonment and acceptance, and the pace was kept up with the musical numbers, which moved the story on. It ain’t over till the social worker sings, and Elaine the Pain did just that for a hysterical finale. But why do so many

parents pay over £14 for theatre tickets for their children to talk, eat, move around noisily and kick my seat?

Theatre Royal, Brighton, 27 March ✌✌✌✌ Candy McNamara

The New Statesman Alan B’Stard, the MP who follows the power, and schemes not for Britain but for himself, is back with that wonderfully dangerous glint in his eye. Involving kidnap, terrorism, a US invasion of Norway and the usual dollop of blackmail.

Marks and Gran’s creation is still as charismatically evil as possible – something that could only be achieved by the fine Mr Rik Mayall.

With a good ensemble cast and a slightly haphazard plot this was a grand night out.

Theatre Royal, Brighton, 9 April ✌✌✌✌ Victoria Nangle

The New Statesman

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tuesday 17

THIS ADVERT for just

Camera Obscura, Komedia, 8pm

£20 a week

Call Kate

818150

Live music :( Yes, just like !!!, here’s a band where words cannot do them justice! Engine Room, 7.30pm, free Camera Obscura Scottish indie pop band who recently released ‘Let’s Get Out Of This Country’, hence their current invasion of England, including the lovely southern seaside resort of Brighton. Komedia, 8pm, £8 The Mojo Fins + Restlesslist + Toby Barelli They’ve been around for a few years this lot, but this year sees them move up a level with their glorious bitter-sweet debut single ‘Pinata Face’ about to be released on the Amazon label.

Restlesslist are an excellent beat/breaks/indie band with an experimental bent. Joogleberry, 8pm, £4/£3 The Mummers Brighton collective making their debut – apparently their ballads incorporate strings and horns. DJ Oli B will also be there.

Sussex Arts Club, 8pm, £6 Open mic Brunswick, 8pm, free Three Plus One Jazz. Arthouse, 8.30pm, free Zoox + The Underlings Delicate balance of strings, wind and percussion from this traditional and melodic trio. Plus Jon from folkrockers The Fold collaborating with Dave Underwood for an alt country-ish sound. Cella, 7.30pm, £5

Bars and clubs Above Audio Late bar, until 1am Ancient Mariner Late bar, until 1am Arc Expelled. Student mash-up. 10.30pm3.30am £2/£1 Audio Snide. Indie old and new. 10pm-2am £2 Caroline Of Brunswick Quiz 8.30pm, £1 Casablanca Tequila Tuesday. 10.30pm-late, free Cosmopolitan Bar Open house – hang out at your new favourite local The Fiddler’s Elbow Late bar, until 2am The Fishbowl Late bar, until 2am The Globe Late bar, until 2am Jazz Place Roots Garden. Reggae and roots.

10pm-2am £3.50/2.50 The Joogleberry Late bar, 11am–1pm Koba Late bar, until 5am Hare & Hounds Free pool Po Na Na Pop. R‘n’B action. 10.30pm-3am £5 Providence Curry & Pint Night with drink promos and table football. From 6pm check with venue before travelling. ➧ Please See our venue directory for details

Suga Qube Industry night – bar workers/door staff’s night off. Free Volks Erasian Discharge. Jungle with Debaser and Tester. 11pm-4am £4/£3 The Zap Funkylicious. Funky house anthems.

10pm-3am, free

Gay Amsterdam 11am–11pm. Food served up to 8pm. Sauna 3pm–4am Aquarium 12pm–11pm Brighton Oasis Sauna. 12pm–12am Bright ‘n’ beautiful Sauna. 12pm–10pm Bulldog 11am–2am Candy Bar 9pm–2am Charles Street Bar 12pm–11pm Legends Bar 11am–5am Legends Dance Toxic. 11pm–4am, free Marine Tavern Nat’s quiz night, 9pm.

12pm–12am Marlborough Ladies’ night.12pm–12am The PV. 5-7pm deals on selected drinks.

12pm–12am Queen’s Arms Food, wi-fi access, and happy hour ’til 7pm. The fabulous Spice hosts her own karaoke show from 9pm. 2.30–11.30pm R-Bar Student night. 12pm-2am. Sussex beacon fundraiser! Student night. Lady James on stage at 9.30pm, selected drinks £2 all night.

5-9pm happy hour.

Revenge Student night. Drinks from £1.50.

NUS free all night/others free before 11 then £3, 10.30pm–3am Star Inn Food 12–3pm and 6–9pm.

11am–12am Vavoom Your choice videos. Open ’til 4am V2 club Music videos upstairs and karaoke downstairs until 12am. 10pm–late The Zone 1pm–12am

Theatre Bargain Black comedy about a man who makes a deal with Mother Teresa of Calcutta, only for his body to be found floating in the Atlantic three years later. Theatre Royal, Brighton, 7.45pm, £16–£26 Girls’ Night Out Delve into a hen night and discover the saucy goings-on and naughty modern views of a group of females. The Capitol, Horsham, please call for times and prices Office Suite A double bill from Alan Bennett on

the apparent predictability of life in an office, starring Patricia Routledge. Chichester Festival Theatre, SOLD OUT September Tide Daphne ’Du Maurier’s bestselling story of passion and romance, as a widowed woman finds herself falling for her daughter’s new husband. Worthing Connaught Theatre, 7.30pm, please call for prices.

The Spirit Of Broadway – A Star-Spangled Celebration High-energy show with lavish costumes and hit songs from the likes of Grease, Chicago and Cats. Worthing Pavilion Theatre, 8pm, £15-£19 You Don’t Need To Know That Comic mayhem as a man wakes up to find a policeman at the end of his bed. Did he really commit a crime he can’t recall? The Hawth, Crawley.

7.45pm, please call for prices

Comedy Easy Comedy With a headline set from Funny Women and So You Think You’re Funny 2006 finalist Holly Walsh, this promises to be an excellent night. But on top of that there’s also the prospect of excellent funnies from Roisin le Bourhis, Graham Standing, Netty Wendt and Mike Switzer. Smashing.

Easy Bar, 8pm, £3

Family and friends Drop In And Draw Handle some of the museum artefacts and do some independent observational drawing. Use charcoal, pastels, felt tips or pencils. All ages. Brighton Museum, 3.30–4.30pm, free Greenspeak: Fuelling A Food Crisis A discussion looking at our reliance on petroleum which will one day run out, and the impact of the industrialisation of farming, fertilisers, biofuel and packaged food. Terraces Bar And Grill, Marine Parade (above Sea Life Centre) Brighton, 7.15–9pm, donation Greyhound racing Enjoy the races with friends – place a bet or watch the action with a meal in the Skyline Restaurant. Brighton And Hove Greyhound Stadium. Evening races – please call 01273 204601 to confirm details The Hairy Bikers Dave Myers and Si King discuss their new book The Hairy Bikers Ride Again. Presented by City Books. The Old Market, Hove, 6.30pm, £6 (includes glass of wine)

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wednesday 18 Will Calderbank of Shoreline, Sussex Arts Club, 8pm

Gay Amsterdam 11am–11pm. Food served up to 8pm. Sauna 3pm–4am Aquarium 12–11pm Brighton Oasis Sauna. Noon–12am Bright ’n’ Beautiful Sauna. 12pm–10pm Bulldog 11am-2am Candy Bar 9pm-2am Charles Street Bar 12pm–11pm Legends Bar 11am-5am Legends Dance 11am-4am, free Marine Tavern Elsie’s Chill 12pm–12am Marlborough Quiz at 8pm. Prizes for winners.

12pm–12am The PV Quiz night from 8pm. 12pm–12am Queen’s Arms Food, wi-fi access and happy hour till 7pm. Cabaret with Lola Lasagne at 9.30pm R-Bar Go Double Baby. From 9pm, any double just £1 extra. 12pm–2am Revenge Strut your stuff at 1970s heaven. £2 before 11pm, £3 after. Free entry if dressed to theme. Selected drinks just £1.50.

10.30pm–3am Star Inn Food 12–3pm and 6–9pm. 12pm–12am Vavoom Happy hour ’til 6pm. Your choice videos. Open ’til 4am V2 Club Music videos upstairs and karaoke downstairs until 12am. 10pm–late The Zone 1pm-2am

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The Maccabees Brilliant Brighton band who are on the cusp of big things. Led by the distinctive vocals of Orlando Weeks, this five-piece make a dynamic and melodic indie pop sound, full of hooks. Debut album due in May, as well as a tour with Bloc Party in USA and much else besides.

There should be plenty of support acts for this one including Jack Penate, Blood Red Shoes, Rumble Strips and Peggy Sue & The Pirates. Also on Thurs 19 April. Old Market, 8pm, £9.50 Pop Levi Former Ladytron bassist whose debut album was released on Ninja Tunes offshoot earlier this year. A whirlwind of dirty funk and avante-indie by this much fancied space cadet.

Audio, 7pm, £7/6 Peter Lorenz & Friends Brunswick, 8pm, £3 The Rubbish + Without Warranty + Your Army Local indie bands. Pav Tav, 8pm, free Special Benny London band who recently supported Alabama Three on tour. Two acoustic acts will be playing live as well as part of Soundtank’s Make A Mr Potato Head night.

Bring a potato and get £1 off door fee. Hot prizes to be won for the best creations. You have been duly warned. Hope, 8pm, £5/4 Moosbrugger + Cato Street Conspiracy + My Waiting Gold + The Sound Theory White Noise rock night. Pressure Point, 8pm, £4/3 Circle Of Friends Acoustic night with local singer songwriters. Cosmopolitan Bar, 8.30pm, free The Legendary Bee’s Mouth Open Mic Arthouse, 8.30pm, free Wednesday Night Originals Weekly showcase of local bands. Portland, 7.30pm, £3 Open mic London Unity, 9pm, free 65 Days Of Static + Youth Movie Soundtrack + Strategies + Cats & Cats & Cats Mixing alt-rock with dark and complex electronica, this instrumental band are a popular underground band in the mould of Mogwai.

Concorde 2, 7pm, £7 Julie Matthews Contemporary folk music from Matthews who has played with both The Albion Band and Chris While. The Famous Willows Folk Club. Arundel Football Club, Arundel, 8pm, £5

Winnebago Deal + Vile Imbeciles Formerly on the Fierce Panda label this hardcore outfit are a hard gigging delight who like to aurally assault their fans! Engine Rooms, 7.30pm, £6 Shoreline + Sons of Noel & Adrian + Miserable Rich + Leisure Society Folk, orchestral folk, twisted folk and anti-folk night from local bands. Sussex Arts Club, 8pm, £5/3 Cuatro Monos Brighton-based Cuban salsa band whose five members share a passion for the precursor to modern salsa music, known as ‘son’. Joogleberry, 8pm, £4 Sweet Hove Chicago Eight piece Chicago blues band from Hove! Prince Albert, 8pm, £tbc James Taylor Classic singer songwriter of yesteryear whose biggest hit was ‘You’ve Got A Friend’. Dome, 7.15pm, £40

Bars and clubs Above Audio Late bar, until 1am Ancient Mariner Late bar, until 1am Born in the Eighties The Beach. Eighties tunes. £3/80p 10-late £3/80p Don’t Tell Ya Mum and Dad Arc. Proper dance tunes. 10-2am £3 The Fiddler’s Elbow Late bar, until 2am The Fishbowl Late bar, until 2am Fun ki Disco Casablanca. Funky Sounds £2/£1/£free 10-late The Globe Late bar, until 2am The Joogleberry Late bar 11am–1pm The Juggler Bar Quiz night – general and themed rounds. Prizes available. 8.30pm Koba Late bar, until 5am No Nonsense Honey Club. Eclectic mix for students and their friends. £5/2 10-2am The Pit Gloucester. Rock and metal. 10-2 £3/£2 Playgroup Volks. Electronica and live beats.

10-3am £5/4 Sabotage Funky Buddha Lounge. Indie rock stylings. 10.30-3 £2 Smash Hits The Zap. Poptastic Classics. 102am £3/2 Suga Qube Live and direct. A showcase of Brighton talent, 9pm–2am, free Supercharged Audio. Breaks and beats from Lee Coombs. 10-2am £4/£2

Bargain Black comedy about a man who makes a deal with Mother Teresa of Calcutta, only for his body to be found floating in the Atlantic three years later. Theatre Royal, Brighton, 7.45pm, £16–£26 Girl’s Night Out Delve into a hen night and discover the saucy goings on and naughty modern views of a group of females. The Capitol, Horsham, please call for times and prices Office Suite A double bill from Alan Bennett on the apparent predictability of life in an office, starring Patricia Routledge. Chichester Festival Theatre, SOLD OUT September Tide Daphne Du Maurier’s bestselling story of passion and romance, as a widowed woman finds herself falling for her daughter’s new husband. Worthing Connaught Theatre, 2pm and 7.30pm, please call for prices.

We’ll Meet Again Relive the spirit of the 1940s in this show paying tribute to Vera Lynn, Bing Crosby and more. Worthing Pavilion Theatre, 2pm, £10

Comedy Cooked Up Comedy New acts and old try out new material in a drop-in environment for a laid back evening of entertainment. Kitchen Bar, 8pm, free

Family and friends Greyhound Racing Enjoy the races with friends – place a bet or watch the action with a meal in the Skyline Restaurant. Brighton and Hove Greyhound Stadium, 01273 204601, Evening race – please call to confirm details.

Jubilee Book Quiz Join a team or bring your own – and test your literary knowledge. Prizes for the winning team. Book early. Wine and soft drinks for sale. Jubilee Library, 01273 294071, 6.45pm, £3.50 Speed Dating Night For ages 18+. Attendees will be divided into four groups and meet 15-20 people of the opposite sex in one of Brighton’s biggest speed-dating nights ever. A licensed bar will be serving alcohol and soft drinks. Info at www.brightonbanter.com/martlets.htm or call 01273 747455. All entrance money goes to The Martlets. Brighton College, 7.30pm, £15 check with venue before travelling. ➧ Please See our venue directory for details

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thursday 19 Live music The Maccabees Brilliant Brighton band who are on the cusp of big things. Led by the distinctive vocals of Orlando Weeks, this fivepiece make a dynamic and melodic indie pop sound, full of hooks. Debut album due in May, as well as a tour with Bloc Party in USA and much else besides. There should be plenty of support acts for this one including Jack Penate, Blood Red Shoes, The Rumble Strips and Peggy Sue & The Pirates. Also on Wed 18 April. Old Market, 8pm, £9.50 Fields + Hush The Many Somewhat menacing, epic and almost desolate sounding indie rock from this outfit. Debut album Everything Last Winter just released Pavilion Theatre, 8pm, £8 Are You Taking The Mic? Original performers only, no covers for this open mic night. Register by e-mailing andersdmoney@yahoo.co.uk.

Providence, 8pm, free Auro Quartet Brazilian jazz. Arthouse, 8.30pm, free Bruce Molsky Old timey guitar, banjo and fiddle player. Royal Oak, Lewes, 8pm, £5 Cella Sessions Open mic night for original music. Sign up by 8pm. Cella, 7.30pm, free Bad Sandwich + Mean Poppa Lean + The Laser Crabs + The Cinemascopes Local band Cable Club night including the wickedly funky and vintage sounds of Mean Poppa Lean.

Pressure Point, 8pm, £4/3 Zoe Lewis + The Ukes Of Hazzard Songs, worldbeat grooves and travel tales from this Brighton-born gal. Komedia, 7pm, £9/7 Little Trophy Playing live as part of All Turn Native, DJ Digitalis’s alternative music night.

Prince Albert, 8pm, £2 Beats & Pieces + Fitsroy + Class War Pav Tav, 8pm, free The Christians + Black 20th anniversary tour for Gary Christian and band with support from Colin Vearncombe and Black making this a night of classic 80s pop. The Capitol, Horsham, 8pm, £tbc All That Remains + Signals + Textures + Eternal Lord + Centurion Grinding riffs and the unrelenting rhythms of death metal from this awesome band. Concorde 2, 7pm, £9 Chris Hollands Band brother of Jools, and a superb pianist in his own right. Brunswick, 8pm, £5 Bad Science + Outerlectuals Dubby, bassedup grooves with added funk and lyrical gymnastics from this superb local band. They were recently shortlisted for the Glastonbury Unsigned competition and will be playing a number of summer festivals this year.

Joogleberry, 8pm, £5 Tosca – Giacomo Puccini Opus I Opera presents. Pavilion Theatre, Worthing, 7.30pm, £24-8

Mad for It Brighton Gloucester. Indie. 10-2am £3/1.50 Suga Qube Weekend warm-up with soulful and funky house. 9pm–2am, free Sambanation Casablanca. Sunny Brazilian flavours. 9.30-2am £2/1 The Resurrection Pav Tav. Indie for the masses. 10-2am £3/1.50 Warm Your Soul Funky Buddha Lounge.

Classic soul and funk. 10-3am £2/free Western Front Late bar until 3am

Gay Amsterdam Food served up to 8pm. Sauna 3pm–4am. 11am–11pm Aquarium 12–11pm Brighton Oasis Sauna 12pm–12am Bright’n’Beautiful Sauna 12–10pm Bulldog 11am–2am Candy Bar 9pm–2am Charles Street Bar Mad Cow, 8pm. Hosted by Joan Bond with DJs Richard Jones and Tony B on the decks. 12pm-11pm, £1 Charles Street Club Religion. Hosted by Joan Bond with DJs Richard Jones and Tony B on the decks. 10.30pm-3am, £5/4 flyer/£3 NUS. Harlequin Quiz and gameshow with Lady James.8pm–2am, free Legends Bar 11am–5am Legends Dance Squeeze. 11pm–4am, free Marine Tavern Man Trap. 12pm–12am Marlborough Free pool 6pm onwards. Killer pool at 8pm12pm–12am The PV Cocktails v Clittails 6pm9pm.12pm–12am Queen’s Arms Karaoke with Betty 9pm. Open 2.30pm-11.30pm R-Bar Cabaret with Maisie Trollette and John Bruzon, 9:30pm. 5pm-9pm happy hour. 12pm-2am Revenge Manzone is back by popular demand!

Strictly men only. Stripper from midnight.

10.30pm–3am, £2 Star Inn Big Dave’s quiz. Food served 12–3pm/6–8pm. 12pm–midnight Vavoom Thirsty Thursday. Music videos all night long. ’Til 4am V2 Club SMusic videos upstairs and karaoke downstairs until 12am. 10pm–late The Zone 1pm–12am

Theatre Bargain Black comedy about a man who makes a deal with Mother Teresa of Calcutta, only for his body to be found floating in the Atlantic three years later. Theatre Royal, Brighton, 2.30pm and 7.45pm, £16–£26 Girl’s Night Out Delve into a hen night and discover the saucy goings on and naughty modern views of a group of females. The Capitol, Horsham, please call for times and prices Office Suite A double bill from Alan Bennett on the apparent predictability of life in an office, starring Patricia Routledge. Chichester Festival Theatre, SOLD OUT September Tide Daphne Du Maurier’s bestselling story of passion and romance, as a widowed woman finds herself falling for her daughter’s new husband. Worthing Connaught Theatre, 7.30pm, please call for prices

Comedy Maydays Improvised Comedy Drop-In class Your chance to join-in with the mirth-making and learn improvisation from the most respected Improv troupe in Sussex.The Open House, 7.30pm, £7

Family and friends Art and Craft Classes For children aged 18 months to five years old. A fun weekly arts and craft class, letting youngsters explore their creativity. Malling Community Centre, Lewes.

For more info/to book please call 01273 488616.

The Big Boat A workshop on writing for children with children’s literature specialist Laura Atkins. Fabrica, 40 Duke Street, Brighton, for info call The South on 01273 571700, 7pm–9pm, £10/9 Greyhound Racing Enjoy the races with friends – place a bet or watch the action with a meal in the Skyline Restaurant. Brighton and Hove Greyhound Stadium, 01273 204601, Evening race – please call to confirm details

Bars and clubs Above Audio Late bar, until 1am Ancient Mariner Late bar, until 1am Back in the Day Po Na Na. Old Skool hip hop.

10-2am £3 Bar Bamboogy Live DJs. 8pm–2am, free Belushi’s Rock bar, £1.50 vodka/mix and selected pints £2. 8pm–2am, free Chopper Choons The Zap Kitsch and Cool tunes. 10-3am £4/free for NUS Contagious Honeyclub. Classic house 10-late £4/2 Cosmopolitan Bar Spinner stays on – If the DJ’s good enough to stay on, let them know! If not, vote them off, 7.30pm start, free Dynamite Boogaloo Audio. Legendary pop/kitsch night. £4/3 10-2am The Fiddler’s Elbow Late bar, until 2am The Fishbowl Late bar, until 3am Floorfillers Creation. Pop anthems. 10-2am £2/90p The Globe Late bar, until 3am The Joogleberry Late bar, 11am–1pm Koba Late bar, until 5am check with venue before travelling. ➧ Please See our venue directory for details

BRIGHTON AUTHOR'S FIRST NOVEL OUT NOW! September Tide, Worthing Connaught Theatre, 2pm & 7.30pm

Book signing at Waterstones, Brighton, 21st April, 12 o'clock – all welcome. latest 7 43

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friday 20 Bargain, Theatre Royal, 7.45pm

Heavenly massage Warm hospitality A peaceful environment An unforgettable experience Male & female therapists

Chair massage Holistic and Aromatherapy massage Reflexology Open 7 days a week – 11am till 9pm 28 Elder Place, Brighton, BN1 4GF (Off London Road, opposite London Road car park) 01273 690096 www.littleoceanmassagecentre.co.uk

Live music Alison David Former Red Snapper vocalist, this soul diva brings along a superb band including Robin Scott, Gary Liedeman, Terry Lewis and Steevi Bacon. Also on Sat 21 April. Hanbury Club, 7pm, £10 (guests)/£5 (members) Anglo-Swedish Quintet Brighton Jazz Club.

Sussex Arts Club, 7.30pm, £12/£10 Attrition + Swarf + Freudstein Industrial electronic carnage. Engine Room, 7.30pm, £5 Babyhead + Dates Big hip hop funk ska and dub band from Bristol who have been doing the rounds for ten years plus. New album just came out. Support comes from Bob Grover’s (exBrighton legends The Piranhas) new band Dates.

Komedia, 8.30pm, £10/8 The Blues Amigos Acoustic blues, jazz and swing with a Django Rheinhardt feel. Neptune, 8.30pm, free Caramel Jack + Guests Great cinematic, almost baroque, country influenced band from Brighton. Cella, 7.30pm, £5 Ensemble Zaiti French gypsy jazz trio.

Arthouse, 8.30pm, free Martin Curtis New Zealand singer-songwwriter in the folk tradition. The Beachcomber, Seaford, 8.15pm, price to be confirmed Rubber Jack Pressure Point, 7.30pm, £5 The Shofar Allstars Brunswick, 8pm, £3 Sketchbeat + The Wasp Factory + Facing South Sound Factory night. Providence, 8pm, £1 South Coast Idol The final! The winner moves on to the grand final in Portsmouth. Concorde 2, 6.30pm, £7.50 Steviewonderland Tribute to Stevie Wonder from this five-piece. Joogleberry, 8pm, £7

44 latest 7

01273 696555

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The Laughing Onion

Bars and clubs Above Audio Late bar, until 2am Ali Cats Bar Flow. Electro, breaks and booty bass. 8pm–12am, free Ancient Mariner Late bar, until 2am Aqua Bar 70s, 80s and 90s hits, 9pm–2am, free Arc Candy. Hip hop, soul and ragga.

10.30am–4am, £8/£5 Beach Sugar Pop. Party anthems. 10.30–3am £3 Belushi’s Madness. Sexy chart cheese and club classics. £2 selected drinks until midnight.

10pm–3am Casablanca Mirror Ball. Funky disco.

10.30–3am £6/5/4 Concorde 2 Hell Yeah! New metal, punk and emo night with resident DJs Leander (Terrorizer) and RAW. Live band for tonight is Reuben.

11pm, £5/£4, Creation Glittter Baby. R’n’B and house.

9.30–3am £6/£4 Engine Room Deviant. Goth, industrial and

indie. 11-3am £5/4 The Fiddler’s Elbow Late bar, until 3am The Fishbowl Late bar, until 2am Funky Buddha Lounge Unkool. Robot funk from Mr William Bobot. 3-8am £8/5 The Globe Late bar, until 3am Gloucester Kick Out The Jams. Indie.

10.30–2am £4/£3 Honeyclub Honey. Fun house session with Kate Lawler. 10–3am £8/5 The Joogleberry Late bar 11am–1pm Komedia Born Bad. Red hot rockabilly and rock‘n’roll. 11–3am £6/£5 Koba 24-hour bar!

Lo Lounge The House Sessions. Quality house with regular guests. 10–3am £5 Ocean Rooms Rebel Presents… Asian Dub Foundation (tbc).11pm-4am £8 Pav Tav Rip It Up. Indie anthems. 10-2am £4/£3 Pressure Point Geek. With Fickle System.

12am–4am, £5 Riki Tik Late bar, until 3.30am Suga Qube Evening Mass. Sexy, soulful house, 9pm–late.

Volks Dubpressure. Drum and bass and grime.

11pm–4am price to be confirmed.

Western Front Late bar until 3am The Zap Ocentribe. Featuring Alex Clavert. 105am £7/£6

Gay Amsterdam Sauna: 3pm–6am, 11am–5am Aquarium 12pm–1am Brighton Oasis Sauna open 24 hours!

Bright ’n’ Beautiful Sauna. 12pm–10pm Bulldog 11am–late Candy Bar Pop rock vs booty call. 9pm–morning.

Charles Street Bar Fairylea. Cheesy, camp tracks from 10.30 with DJs Ruby Roo & Connie Conway. 12pm–late Charles Street Club Revo. New funky electro club night with DJ Tom Logan. 10.30pm-3am, £5 Harlequin Shaft. Strictly men only. 9pm–4am, £5 Legends Bar Pre-Yo-Yo. 11am–5am Legends Dance Yo-Yo. 11pm–4am, free before midnight, £5 after Marine Tavern 12pm–12am Marlborough Live DJ from 9pm. 12pm–2am The PV Easy, Cheesy Friday. 12pm–1am Queen’s Arms Food, wi-fi access and happy hour ’til 7pm. Andy B’s Camp Attack with spice.2.30pm–1am R–Bar 12pm–2am Official Lollipop warm-up party 5–9pm happy hour Revenge Lollipop vs Kinky Dangerous. DJ Dulcie Danger banging away upstairs with the fabulous Lollipop Girls hosting downstairs.

10.30pm–5am £5 before 11pm, £7 after.

Rehab Therapy, Brighton Marina’s swishy new

weekly gay night. 9pm-4am Star Inn Food 12pm–3pm and 6pm–9pm.

11am–1am Vavoom Bar Boyz. Promos till 6pm and when certain tracks play. Dance music videos all night Open till 6am V2 Club Open 10pm–late. Music videos upstairs and karaoke downstairs until 12am.

Members free The Zone 1pm–midnight

Theatre Bargain Black comedy about a man who makes a deal with Mother Teresa of Calcutta, only for his body to be found floating in the Atlantic three years later... Theatre Royal, Brighton, 7.45pm, £26–£16 Girl’s Night Out Delve into a hen night and discover the saucy goings on and naughty modern views of a group of females. The Capitol, Horsham, please call for times and prices The Lesson A charged political piece on how capitalism is following the same pattern as Nazi Fascism, in a country led by capitalist greed and consumer righteousness. The Hawth, please call for times and prices Office Suite A double bill from Alan Bennett on the apparent predictability of life in an office, starring Patricia Routledge. Chichester Festival Theatre, SOLD OUT September Tide Daphne Du Maurier’s bestselling story of passion and romance, as a widowed woman finds herself falling for her daughter’s new husband. Worthing Connaught Theatre, 2pm and 7.30pm, please call for prices.

Comedy Kronenbourg Krater Comedy Club Steve Harris, Gavin Webster and Simon Brodkin provide the laughter in this high quality regular comedy night. Compered by Rufus Hound.

Komedia, 7.30pm, £12/£10

Family & friends South Coast Idol The Sussex regional finals of the singing talent contest as local talent compete for a spot in the final. See the progress of the competition at www.southcoastidol.co.uk Concorde 2, Madeira Drive, Brighton, £7.50 including guest celebrity act, under 17s show £5. Under 18s need to be accompanied by an adult. Doors open for Under 17s show at 6.30pm show starts at 6.45pm doors open for 17 and over at 8.15pm show starts at 8.30pm prompt. check with venue before travelling. ➧ Please See our venue directory for details

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saturday 21 Live music Alison David Former Red Snapper vocalist, this soul diva brings along a superb band including Robin Scott, Gary Liedeman, Terry Lewis and Steevi Bacon. Also on Fri 20 April. Hanbury Ballroom, 7pm, £10 (guests)/£5 (members) Are You Experienced? Hendrix tribute act.

Assembly Hall, Worthing, 8pm, £15/£13.50 The Bluehearts Country pop from these Brighton veterans. Brunswick, 8pm, £3 David Kitt Seasoned Irish singer-songwriter with several acclaimed albums under his prolific belt. Highly textured, rhythmic music with impressionistic lyrics and a natural, unaffected voice. Audio, 7pm, £8.50 Dogntank + White Hills + Burning Idiot Noise Stoner rock plus the experimental postrock noise of Brighton’s Burning Idiot Noise! The Engine Room, 7pm, £6 Farmer Jason Child-friendly country music.

Yee-haw! West Hill Community Hall, 2pm, £3 Jason Ringenberg One of the most riveting, exhilarating performers on the scene. Prince Albert, 8pm, £6.50 The Livingston Freeman + Civilian + Oxygen Thief Alternative rock night with DJ Neil By Mouth. Providence, 8pm, £1 The Magic Number Excellent gypsy jazz swing covers band with musicians from varous Brighton bands including The Hat, Mountain Firework Company and Big Hairy Band.

Joogleberry, 8pm, £7 The Pope Of Pop + Stingo Ra + We Are Janet + Mungo Momby Eclectic and upbeat mix of live music, performance and DJs. Hope, 8pm, £3 Raychel Stone + Ben Tolliday + Andy Walker Band Trio of sweet, serene and melodic acoustic folk music. Cella, 7.30pm, £5 Rylics + Beyond Ashes + Forget Me Not Pressure Point, 8pm, £4/3 Seasick Steve + The Gemma Ray Ritual Recent appearance on Jools Holland’s Later show gave us an insight into this trainhopping, jailbirding, cowboying, carnival working, migrant farm picking, surviving old hobo of the old America! Komedia, 8pm, £10

Bars and clubs Above Audio Late bar, until 2am Ali Cats Bar Uni-Fi, Nu-skool and old skool breaks, 8pm–12am, free Ancient Mariner Late bar, until 2am Aqua Bar Resident DJ. 9pm–2am, free Arc Holdup. Brighton’s favourite indie night with regular special guests..10pm–2.30am, £5 Audio Stompa Phunk. Underground house.

11pm–4am £8/6 Belushi’s Utopia. 80s classics and club anthems.. £2 selected drinks until midnight.

10pm–3am Concorde 2 Slackers Convention. General Midi and guests. 11-early £10/£8/£5 Engine Room Classic Rock. From AC/DC to Zeppelin. 10.30-4am £5 The Fiddler’s Elbow Late bar, until 3am The Fishbowl Late bar, until 3am Funky Buddha Lounge La Manana. Late night house with Alex T. 3am-8am £10 The Globe Late bar, until 3am Hector’s House DISC. Indie/electro. Tim Jenson and residents, 9pm–2am Honeyclub Seven Sins. Funky big room house with Olav Basoski. 10.30-5am £12/7 The Joogleberry Late bar 11am–1pm Koba 24 hour bar Madeira Hotel Funky Fish Club. Funk, soul and jazz. £4 before 11pm/£5 after Ocean Rooms Fervor. Gaiser live with Ninja Cowboys. 11-4am £8 Pressure Point Rapture. With Redford and DJ Devestate. 12-4am £5 Riki Tik Late bar, until 3.30am Suga Qube Qubed. Rare groove and funk, 6pm–9pm, upfront and energetic house, 9pm–late.

Sussex Arts Club Da Do Ron Ron. 60s girl pop check with venue before travelling. ➧ Please See our venue directory for details

a go go. 10-3am £6/5 Volks Darklight. Drum and bass with Bryan G. 10-5am £7/5 Western Front Late bar until 3am The Zap Junk Box. Funky electro with De Puta Madre. 11-4am £10

Gay Amsterdam Sauna 3pm–4am, 11am–2am Aquarium 12pm–11pm Brighton Oasis Sauna 12pm–7am Bright’n’Beautiful Sauna 12–10pm Bulldog 11am–late Charles Street Bar 12pm–late Charles Street Club Nervous Twitch by Shibby Shabblers. Top indie night. 11pm–3am, £5 The Gloucester Monkey. Wild Fruit’s Saturday nighter. Brighton’s favourite DJs playing some top tunes. Drinks promos. 10pm–4am, NUS £5 all night, others £5 before 11pm/£7 before midnight/£9 after Harlequin Titty la Camp on stage. 9pm–4am, free before 11pm//£5 after Legends Bar Pre-Ignition.11am–5am Legends Dance Ignition. 11pm–4am Marine Tavern 12pm–12am Marlborough Live DJ from 9pm. 12pm–2am The PV DJ Dave from 9pm. 12pm–1am Queens Arms Food, wi-fi access and happy hour till 7pm. Julie Glitter’s Karaoke Party at 9pm.

R-Bar Open 24 hours! Pop videos all night. Great food all day. Discount tickets for Revenge available.

Revenge Downstairs: Queercarnage with DJs Dusty O and Nik C. All drinks £2 before 12.

10.30pm–6am, free before 11pm/£5 before 12am/£7 after 12am/£3 after 3am. NUS £3 Star Inn Food 12pm–6pm. Proud To Bear night 8pm. 11am–1am Vavoom St George’s theme with promos and dance videos all night. Open ’til 6am V2 Club St George’s theme night continues.

Open from 10pm–late Members get free entry The Zone 1pm–12am

Theatre Bargain Black comedy about a man who makes a deal with Mother Teresa of Calcutta, only for his body to be found floating in the Atlantic three years later... Theatre Royal, Brighton, 2.30pm and 7.45pm, £26–£16 Boutique Burlesque performance with twisted physical theatre and sensual striptease. Come dressed to impress! Marlborough Theatre,

8pm, £8/£6 Girls’ Night Out Delve into a hen night and discover the saucy goings on and naughty modern views of a group of females. The Capitol, Horsham, please call for times and prices Office Suite A double bill from Alan Bennett on the apparent predictability of life in an office, starring Patricia Routledge. Chichester Festival Theatre, SOLD OUT September Tide Daphne Du Maurier’s bestselling story of passion and romance, as a widowed woman finds herself falling for her daughter’s new husband. Worthing Connaught Theatre, 7.30pm, please call for prices.

Comedy Kronenbourg Krater Comedy Club Steve Harris, Gavin Webster and Simon Brodkin provide the laughter in this high quality regular comedy night. Compered by Rufus Hound.

Komedia, 7pm & 10.30pm, £16

Family and friends Become A Seven Sisters Explorer Join the Sussex Wildlife Trust with a four mile walk over the downs. A great event to get the whole family out in the fresh air exploring the countryside. Suits ages 7 and up. Meet at the Pump Barn, behind the visitor centre. Seven Sisters walk, 10am–1pm, £2–£4, family ticket £12/£8 The Brighton Children’s Book Festival: Children Of The South Celebrating and showcasing the creation of children’s books in Brighton and the South. Sallis Benney Theatre, University of Brighton, Grand Parade, Brighton, BN OJY. 10am–7pm, £25/£20/£18 (ages 10–16 accompanied by an adult: £10) Brilliant Bag Day Pick up a special bag of fun and games to play around the museum and take part in some arty activities. Booth Museum, 1–5pm, free drop in.

Music Workshop Open day for local musicians aged 14 and over with workshops and a tour of the facilities. Teachers, parents and career advisors also welcome. Scream Studios, C1 Enterprise Point, Melbourne Street, Brighton.

More info on 01273 628363. 10am–6pm

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sunday 22 Live music Acoustic Jam Session Weekly chilled evening of acoustic jamming with PA. Portland, 8pm, free Andy Yorke + Oom Former frontman of Unbelievable Truth. Brighton’s Oom are fronted by the stunning vocals of Debbie Clare who has sung with Massive Attack. They make a mix of dark ambience, distorted beats and noisy guitars, although tonight they will be playing an acoustic set. Cella, 7.30pm, £10 Anemo + Hannah Talbot + Lisa Theunissen Acoustic vibes. Pav Tav, 8pm, free Ensemble Zaiti + Diego Parada Paris-based Adrien Moignard and Mathieu Chatelain are at the cutting-edge of ‘manouche’, the expressive, acoustic gypsy-jazz style developed in 30s Europe, and spearheaded by the Hot Club de France. Joogleberry, 8pm, £6 Great Lake Swimmers + Joe Gideon & The Shark An aquatic night of raking strokes with Canadian goth country and baroque pop band taking on two former members Bikini Atoll (Jesus, what is it with the watery imagery?) who tell dark and adult stories as if Leonard Cohen was duetting with Lee Hazlewood. A night of drowning dream Hope, 7.30pm, £6 Kris Bell & friends Weekly acoustic shindig hosted by Kris Bell with friends playing a mix of covers and originals. Chequers, 8.30pm, free The Sesame Forum Jazz Trio Brunswick, 3pm, free The Simon and Sleeze Acoustic Blues Show Neptune, 8.30pm, free The Skatalites legendary Jamaican ska and rocksteady band who virtually invented ska back in the early 60s, and had a major UK hit with the much-covered Guns of Navarone. Still a brilliant live outfit with several original members. Komedia, 8.30pm, £17 So Long Angel Acoustic folk and blues duo with Fran McGillivray on vocals, bass and flute, and Mike Burke on guitar and vocals. The Normandy Centre, Denne Road, Horsham, 8pm, £6-2 Thoughts Collide + Seventh Sky + Beyond The Deafening Pressure Point, 8pm, £4/3 The Waterboys + St Jude Mike Scott and band are back with their best album for years, Book Of Lighting, which is bound together by Scott’s lyrical talents, Steve Wickham’s electric fiddle, and some truly great songs. Dome, 6.45pm, £22.50 Windmill + Mechanical Bride Intriguing and very quirky piano-based singer songwriter who has his debut album out. Prince Albert, 8pm, £6 The Zico Chain Top Brighton rockers. The Engine Room, 7.30pm, £5

Bars and clubs Above Audio Late bar, until 1am Ancient Mariner Late bar, until 1am Bangers and Mash Up Volks. Jungle from Mr Finn. 11-4am, £3 Cosmopolitan Bar The Full Moon pub quiz and Sunday-roasts. Quiz starts 7.30pm, roasts from 1–6pm The Fiddler’s Elbow Late bar, until 2am The Globe Late bar, until 2am The Joogleberry Late bar. Until 12am Koba 24 hour bar!

St. Christopher’s Open mic night, open until 2am Suga Qube Carry-on Sunday, free Sunday School The Zap. Funky tribal house.

10-late £5/3 Sundelicious Honey Club. Big room electro.

10-2am Free/£1

Gay Amsterdam Sauna 3pm–4am, 11am–2.30am Aquarium 12pm–11pm Brighton Oasis Sauna 12pm–6pm Bright’n’Beautiful Sauna 12–8pm Bulldog 11am–2am.

Candy Bar Club Tropicana. From 9pm, £free Charles Street Bar Sunday lunches.12–10.30pm Charles Street Club Sunday service. Religion’s new Sunday night party. 10.30pm–3am, £4 Legends Bar Kandy Kane as Laquisha Jonz.

11am–5am Legends Dance Embrace.11pm–4am, free Marine Tavern 12pm–12am Marlborough Sunday mega-roast lunches 12–7pm plus live acoustic music at 6pm.

12pm–12am The PV Eeles from 6pm. 12–11pm Queens Arms Super Sunday! Cabaret with Davina Sparkle at 5.15pm then Betty’s Karaoke Show. 2:30pm–11pm R-Bar Cabaret with Tony Page on stage at 4.30pm. 6–9pm happy hour. Open until 2am Revenge 10.30pm–3am, £2 before midnight then £3 Star Inn Sunday lunches 12–4pm then Bears’ Beer Bash! 12pm–late Vavoom Chill-out music videos all day. ‘til 3am The Zone 1pm–12am

Theatre The Little Mermaid Story-tellers Flotsam and Jetsam invite you under the sea to experience the adventures of The Little Mermaid who falls in love with a human prince and, desperate to meet him, casts a deal with the sea witch. Kids show (ages 4+) Komedia, please call for start time, £6/£5

Comedy Kronenbourg Krater Comedy Club Steve Harris, Gavin Webster and Simon Brodkin provide the laughter in this high-quality regular comedy night. Compered by Stephen Grant.Komedia, 8pm, £9/6 students Pam Ann: One World Alliance A-lister hostess to the stars and her crew take you on a trip unlike any you've travelled before. Character comedy. Theatre Royal, 7.30pm, £17.50 Sidesplitters Barry Dodds headlines this regular Sunday funny show, accompanied by an opening set from Edward Aczel and new acts Chris Pacey and Vicky Nangle. The Providence, 8pm, £4

Family and friends A Day Of Yoga Suits all levels of experience in singing and yoga asanas. Telscombe Village Hall, Telscombe Village, East Sussex, 01273 516616, 10am–5pm, £50/40 Car Boot Sale Weekly car boot. No stalls before 12.30pm, Plumpton Racecourse, BN7 3AZ, £10 vans/£8 cars, 50p adults entry Greyhound Racing Enjoy the races with friends – place a bet or watch the action with a meal in the Skyline Restaurant. Brighton and Hove Greyhound Stadium, 01273 204601, Evening race – please call to confirm details.

Vicky Nangle @ Sidesplitters, The Providence, 8pm

mon 23 Live music Charlie Dore Inspired melodies, big harmonies, and clever, quietly subversive lyrics. The Greys, 8.30pm, £9 Help She Can’t Swim + Tiger Force Second album of emo-pop from these semi-Brightonians is due now. Pressure Point, 8pm, £6 Ghosts Of A Thousand Engine Room, 7.30pm, £tbc Spotlight Kid + Cottonmouth + Feverfew Harder version of the early 90s shoegazing sound by ex-Six By Seven’s Chris Davis and Bent singer Katty Heath. Hope, 7.30pm, £tbc Leader + Everything On Black + Iconcrash Power pop with a rocky feel. Prince Albert, 8pm, £4 Sharon Lewis + J Kriste Masters Of Disguise + Jim Willis + Edwall Cella, 7.30pm, £5 Hatebreed Metal band whose lead singer Jamey Jasta is presenter of MTV’s Headbangers Ball. Concorde 2, 7.30pm, £12.50

Bars and clubs Above Audio Late bar, until 1am Ancient Mariner Late bar, until 1am Beach We Love 90s. Tunes from way back when. £2/90p 10.30pm-3am Belushis Eccentric, eclectic and mostly electric.

9pm–2am, £2 selected drinks. £2 entry.

Caramel Funky Buddha Lounge R&B, Hip Hop and Funk. 10.30pm-3.30am £3/1 Casablanca Now That’s What I Call the Eighties. £free 10.30pm-3am Cosmopolitan Bar Parlour Games: Have a drink and play some games. Bring your own games or choose from the selection at the bar.

The Fiddler’s Elbow Late bar, until 2am The Fishbowl Late bar, until 2am The Globe Late bar, until 2am Casablanca Now That’s What I Call the Eighties. 10.30pm-3am, free Honey Club Stardust versus Corrosion. Cheese and rock double header. £4.50/1.50 11pm-4am The Joogleberry Late bar 11am–1pm Koba Late bar until 5am Suga Qube 2-4-1 on cocktails, 5pm–2am Volks Strictly Reggae. Dancehall, bashment and roots. £4.50/3.50 10-late

Gay Amsterdam Sauna 3pm–4am, 11am–11pm Aquarium 12pm–11pm Brighton Oasis Sauna 12pm–12am Bright’n’Beautiful Sauna 12pm–10pm Bulldog 11am–2am Candy Bar 10am-2pm, £3 Charles Street Bar 12pm–11pm Charles Street Club Studio 150.

10.30pm–3am, £1.50 entry, drinks from £1.50 Legends Bar 11am-5am Legends Dance Mojo. 11pm-4am, free Marine Tavern Elsie’s Chillout. 12pm-12am Marlborough Student social night from 6pm.

Games, pool and tunes. 12pm-12am Queen’s Arms Food, wi-fi access and happy hour ‘til 7pm. 2:30pm-11:30pm R-Bar Miss Jason’s Madhouses, 9.30pm, Happy Hour 5pm-9pm. 12pm-2am Revenge Boogaloo Stu’s Shinky Shonky. All drinks £2.10.30pm-3am, free Star Inn Food 12-3pm and 6-9pm. 11am-11pm Vavoom Until 4am The Zone 1pm-12am

Theatre The Lesson Presented by the Icarus Collective.

Exploring the tutor: pupil relationship. When the pupil displeases the tutor we begin to see a different side in this light, classroom farce and chilling drama. (Note: Contains scenes of a violent nature) Worthing Connaught Theatre, 7.30pm, £12.50

In partnership with Brighton and Hove Council

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A-Z venue directory Brighton and Hove Ali Cats 80 East Street, Brighton 01273 220902 Amsterdam 11 Marine Parade 01273 688825 www.amsterdam.uk.com Aqua 23 Waterfront Brighton Marina 01273 819800 Aquarium 6 Steine Street, Brighton 01273 605525 www.pleisure.com Arc 160 Kings Road Arches 01273 770505 Arthouse Gallery 10 Western Road, Hove 01273 770083 Audio 10 Marine Parade 01273 606906 www.audiobrighton.com Bar Bamboogy 78 West Street, Brighton www.creationbrighton.com Barley Mow 92 St George’s Road 01273 682259 The Beach 171–181 Kings Road Arches, Brighton 01273 722272 Belushi’s 10-12 Grand Junction Road, Brighton 01273 202035 Brighton Centre Kings Road, Brighton 0870 900 9100 www.brightoncentre.co.uk Brighton College Eastern Road www.brightoncollege.net Brighton Dome 29 New Road, Brighton 01273 709709 www.brighton-dome.org.uk Brighton Gloucester 27 Gloucester Place 01273 688011 Brighton and Hove Greyhound Stadium Nevill Road, Hove 01273 204601 www.trap6.com/hove Brighton Museum & Art Gallery Royal Pavilion Gardens, 01273 290900 Brighton Peace & Environment Centre Brighton Ecocentre, 39–41 Surrey Street 01273 766610 Brighton Rocks 6 Rock Place 01273 601139 Brighton Women’s Centre 72 High Street, Brighton 01273 698036 The Brunswick 1 Holland Road, Hove 01273 733984 Bulldog, 31 St James’s Street 01273 696996 www.bulldogbrighton.com Candy Bar 129 St James’s Street 01273 622424 www.thecandybar.co.uk Caroline of Brunswick 39 Ditchling Road, Brighton 01273 624434 Casablanca Middle Street, Brighton 01273 321817 Cella at Sanctuary Café 51–55 Brunswick St East, Hove 01273 770006 Charles Street Bar & Club 8 Marine Parade 01273 624091 www.charlesstreetbar.com Cineworld Brighton Marina Village 01273 818094 www.cineworld.co.uk Clair Hall Perrymount Road, Haywards Heath 01444 455440 Concorde 2 Madeira Drive, Brighton 01273 673311 www.concorde2.co.uk Core Club 12–15 King’s Road, Brighton 01273 326848 Corn Exchange 29 New Road, Brighton 01273 709709 www.brighton-dome.org.uk Cornerstone Community Centre Church Road, Hove 01273 327757 Cosmopolitan Bar 29-31 New Steine 01273 682461 The Cowley Club 12 London Road, Brighton 01273 696104 www.cowleyclub.org.uk Creation 78 West Street, Brighton 01273 321628 www.creationbrighton.com Doctor Brighton’s 16–17 Kings Road 01273 328765 www.pleisure.com Dome 29 New Road, Brighton 01273 709709 www.brighton-dome.org.uk Duke of York’s Picturehouse Preston Circus, Brighton 01273 626261 www.picturehouses.co.uk Education Room Brighton Pavilion 01273 296971 Engine Room 5 Preston Street, Brighton 01273 728999 www.engineroomclub.com Enigma 10 Ship Street, Brighton 01273 328439 www.theenigmabrighton.co.uk The Fishbowl 74 East Street 01273 777505 Fitzherberts 25 New Road 01273 682401 Freebutt 1 Phoenix Place 01273 603974 Freemasons 38 Western Road, Hove 01273 732043 Funky Buddha Lounge 169–170 Kings Road Arches, Brighton 01273 725541 Gap Club 61a Western Road, Hove 0844 999 6349 Gardner Arts Centre, University of Sussex campus, Falmer 01273 685861 www.gardnerarts.co.uk The George 5 Trafalgar Street, Brighton 01273 681055 The Globe 78 Middle Street, Brighton 01273 727114 The Greys 105 Southover Street, Brighton 01273 680734 The Hanbury Club 83 St George’s Road, Brighton 01273 605789 Hare & Hounds 75 London Road, Brighton 01273 681163

Harlequin 43 Providence Place, Brighton 01273 620630 www.harlequin-brighton.co.uk Hobgoblin 31 York Place, Brighton 01273 602519 Honeyclub 214 Kings Road Arches, 01273 202807 www.thehoneyclub.co.uk The Hope 10–12 Queen’s Road, Brighton 01273 325793 Hove Museum & Art Gallery 194 Church Road, Hove 01273 290200 Hove Town Hall, Norton Road, Hove 0870 900 9100 www.brighton-hove.gov.uk Jazz Place 10 Ship Street, Brighton 01273 328439 www.thejazzplacebrighton.co.uk Joogleberry Playhouse 14–17 Manchester Street, Brighton 01273 687171 www.joogleberry.com Juggler Bar 21 Western Road, Hove 01273 724195 King and Queen 13 Marlborough Place, Brighton 01273 606207 Komedia Gardner Street, Brighton 01273 647100 www.komedia.co.uk Koo Klub 10 Pool Valley, Brighton 01273 888000 www.kooklub.co.uk Lo Lounge 106 Kings Road, Brighton 01273 715077 Marlborough Bar & Theatre 4 Princes Street, Brighton 07782 278521 www.marlboroughtheatre.co.uk Marine Tavern 13 Broad Street, Brighton 01273 681284 www.harlequin-brighton.co.uk Mint Meeting House Lane 0871 2072 088 Mojo’s Bar & Restaurant 103 North Road, Brighton 01273 622522 New Madeira Hotel 19-23 Marine Parade, Brighton 01273 698331 New Venture Theatre Bedford Place 01273 746118 www.newventure.org.uk Ocean Rooms 1–2 Morley Street, Brighton 01273 699069 Odeon Cinema West Street, Brighton 0871 224 4007 www.odeon.co.uk Ohso Social 250a Kings Road Arches, Brighton 01273 746067 The Old Market Upper Market Street, Hove 01273 736222 www.theoldmarket.co.uk The Park Crescent Pub 39 Park Crescent Terrace, Brighton 01273 604993 Pavilion Tavern 7–8 Castle Square, Brighton 0844 999 6331 Pavilion Theatre 29 New Road, Brighton 01273 709709 www.brighton-dome.org.uk Penthouse (above the Freebutt), 1 Phoenix Place, Brighton 01273 603 974 Pintxo People 95-99 Western Road, Brighton 01273 732323 www.pintxopeople.co.uk Portland Rock Bar 153 Portland Road, Hove 01273 383840 www.portlandrockbar.co.uk Po Na Na Unit 2, 75-79 East Street, Brighton 01273 777904 www.ponana.com Pressure Point 33 Richmond Place, Brighton 01273 702333 www.pressurepoint.me.uk Preston Manor Preston Drove, Brighton 01273 292770 Prestonville Arms 64 Hamilton Road, Brighton 01273 701007 Prince Albert 48 Trafalgar Street, Brighton 01273 730499 The Providence 130 Western Road, Hove 01273 727822 PV 22 Upper North Street, Brighton 01273 325491 www.thepv.co.uk Queen’s Arms 7 George Street, Brighton 01273 696873 R-Bar 7 Marine Parade, Brighton 01273 608133 www.revenge.co.uk Red Roaster Café 1d St James’s Street, Brighton 01273 686668 Rehab Brighton Marina 01273 675007 www.rehabbrighton.com Rendezvous Casino Brighton Marina 01273 605602 www.rendezvouscasino.com Revenge 32 Old Steine, Brighton 01273 606064 www.revenge.co.uk Revue Bar 19 New Steine, Brighton 01273 607456 Riki Tik 18a Bond Street, Brighton 01273 683844 Saqqara 158 North Street, Brighton 01273 779701 Sky Bar 54-55 Meeting House Lane, Brighton www.skybarbrighton.com Star Inn 5–9 Manchester Street, Brighton 01273 601450 Suga Qube 5 Castle Square 01273 770246 Sumo 9–12 Middle Street 01273 749465 Sussex Arts Club 7 Ship Street 01273 778020

Comprehensive list of venues to complement our listings

Theatre Royal New Road 08700 606650 www.theambassadors.com/theatreroyal V2 5 Steine Street, Brighton 01273 609672 Vanilla Bar 73a Western Road, Hove 01273 748182 Vavoom 31 Old Steine, Brighton 01273 603010 Volks The Colonnade, 3 Madeira Drive, Brighton 01273 682828 www.volksclub.co.uk Western Front Near Churchill Square, Brighton 01273 725656 White Horse 30 Camelford St, Brighton 01273 603726 Wild Fruit @ Creation, 78 West Street, Brighton www.wildfruit.co.uk West Hill Hall Compton Avenue, Brighton The Zap Kings Road Arches, Brighton 01273 202407 Zoot Street Bar Queens Road, Brighton 01273 737770 The Zone 33 St James’s Street, Brighton 01273 626442

Around Sussex The Anchor Inn Anchor Lane, Barcombe 01273 400414 www.anchorinnandboating.co.uk Ashdown Forest Broadstone car park, second left from Wychcross Assembly Hall Connaught Theatre Pavilion Theatre, Union Place, Worthing 01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk The Black Horse High Street, Findon, Worthing 01903 872301 Bluebell Railway Sheffield Park Station, East Sussex 01825 720800 Café Blue Pevensey Road, Eastbourne 07834 405675 The Capitol North Street, Horsham 01403 750220 Chichester Festival Theatre Oaklands Park 01243 781312 www.cft.org.uk Clair Hall Perrymount Road, Haywards Heath 01444 455440 Congress Theatre Carlisle Road, Eastbourne 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk

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Devonshire Park Theatre Compton Street, Eastbourne 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Fountain Inn High Street, Handcross 01444 400218 www.fountainpub.co.uk The Half Brick 221 Brighton Road, Worthing 01903 234196 The Hawth Hawth Avenue, Crawley 01293 553636 www.hawth.co.uk Horsham Folk Club The Normandy Centre, Denne Road, Horsham 01306 875653 www.horshamfolkclub.co.uk Jack Horner 80 High Street, Worthing 01903 236427 Malling Community Centre Spences Lane, Lewes 01273 477931 www.mallingcommunitycentre.com Martlets Martlets Hall, Civic Way, Burgess Hill 01444 242888 Royal Hippodrome Theatre 108 Seaside Road, Eastbourne 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Royal Oak Station Street, Lewes 01273 478124 St Thomas à Beckett Church Hall Cliffe High Street, Lewes United Reformed Church Clinton Place, corner of Broad Street, Seaford Winter Garden Theatre Compton Street, Eastbourne 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Worthing Museum & Art Gallery Chapel Road, Worthing 01903 221140 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk Worthing Connaught Theatre Union Place, Worthing 01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk Worthing Pavilion Theatre Marine Parade, Worthing 01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk

■ We try to ensure all event details are correct but regret we cannot be held responsible for any inaccuracies. Please check directly with the venue before travelling ■

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JOBS

latest

jobs Brilliant staff Burt Brill and Cardens welcome a new conveyancing solicitor Burt Brill and Cardens have announced the arrival of Martine Pelosi as conveyancing solicitor in their East Grinstead office. Martine previously worked at a Croydon practice undertaking family work after qualifying in 2001. She grew up in East Grinstead and returned to live in the area having studied at Loughborough University and Nottingham Law School.

Martine enjoys skiing and foreign travel as well as keeping fit, and is planning to participate in a charity run later this year for Cancer Research.

David Edwards, managing partner, says: “I’m delighted to welcome Martine back to East Grinstead. Her local knowledge will be invaluable in providing a quality service to our many clients in the area.”

Green thinkng Go green with EcoFair and The Big Lemon Local businesses and residents are being urged to get involved to help make the launch of Sussex’s first EcoFair a success. The groundbreaking event, which is taking place in St John's Park, Burgess Hill, on Saturday 23 June, is the first of its kind in the region and comes at a time when local residents’ concern for the environment is at an all-time high.

EcoFair has been set up by ecotecture (www.ecotecture.co.uk), an ecological architectural practice based in Bolney, and is being run in conjunction with Burgess Hill Environmental Issues Forum and Mid Sussex District Council. EcoFair will have a series of zoned streets criss-crossing the park with stalls offering everything from information on sustainable building materials and energy efficiency to Fairtrade crafts and local produce.

Joanna Saady, who is a co-director of ecotecture and the founder of the EcoFair event, is calling on the support of local businesses and residents to help put the event on the map. She says: “EcoFair is an exciting event and the first of its kind in the mid Sussex area. It has been set up to educate local people on the ethos of sustainability and raise awareness of the environmental issues that have dominated society in recent months. In my experience people want a greener way of life – they just need some help to take the first step.

The EcoFair will be a starting point that gives people from across Sussex easy access to expert advice as well as sustainable products and services.”

Another way of becoming directly involved with an eco venture is to take up the offer of shares in the eco-friendly bus company The Big Lemon (www.thebiglemon.com). It has already built a name for itself over the last six months, will provide the city’s first mode of carbon-neutral public transport and offer the public a cheaper, quicker and better-quality alternative to current services. MD Tom Druitt is calling on local residents to get on board. He says: “We want to create an enterprise in which the needs of the customers, the staff, the shareholders, the community and the environment are all met without sacrificing one for the sake of another. Shares are priced at £100 each and investors benefit from half price bus travel as well as a share of dividends.”

Companies interested in supporting the EcoFair or taking part should contact Melanie Laurie on 0845 026 4636 for more information.

For more information on The Big Lemon see www.thebiglemon.com

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JOBS lettings@young-lee.co.uk

Full time negotiator/administrator Required for busy Brighton letting office.

Top Media Jobs Senior Project Manager – Kerb

The applicant should have good knowledge of Word and Excel together with a full driving licence. Previous lettings experience essential. Office hours are Mon–Fri 9am–5.30pm and the successful applicant would be required to work saturday mornings on a rota basis.

Please apply in writing to : Juliette Lee 6 St George's Road Kemp Town Brighton BN2 1EB or by e-mail juliettelee@young-lee.co.uk All enquires will be treated in the strictest confidence.

5a Wilbury Grove Hove BN3 3JQ Telephone: 01273 747947

6 St Georges Road Kemp Town BN2 1EB Telephone: 01273 819438

Our Project Managers are at the heart of what Kerb produces so we’re looking for a general all rounder who is creatively minded, client facing, commercially savvy, technically competent and financially numerate.

E-learning Developers – Kineo E-learning designers and developers required – freelance or fulltime, short or long contracts. Kineo is a rapidly growing e-learning company with an international reputation in the area of rapid e-learning.

Freelance Audio / Visual Engineer – Public-i Candidates should ideally have knowledge and experience of audio and video encoding and editing as well as other multimedia areas. A good working knowledge of internet technologies with a keen desire to keep up with the latest developments in all areas of work is essential.

Technical Producer / TSO – Epic We are looking for a Technical Producer (TP) or Technical Support Officer (TSO) to work closely with the technology and development teams in helping facilitate the smooth running of the technical production process at Epic.

Junior Web Developer – Active Parity Ltd. Are you a bright and ambitious Web Developer with excellent XHTML and CSS skills that can create standards compliant websites adhering to the latest accessibility guidelines? Can you work both as a team member and be self-motivated to work on your own initiative?

Web Manager – William Reed Publishing We are looking for a further Web Manager to oversee all aspects of the retail and manufacturing websites, including the marketing, content management and development, functional development, traffic analysis, revenue opportunities and management of any subsidiary digital communications.

Account Manager / Director – Spannerworks Spannerworks require an Account Manager to proactively retain and develop the client relationship and income to Spannerworks. You will be responsible for a wide portfolio of blue-chip clients.

Business Development Manager – Spannerworks Spannerworks require a Business Development Manager for the generation and development of both inbound and outbound new business opportunities. The successful candidate will be a consummate and credible sales professional.

Data Analyst – Spannerworks Spannerworks is looking for a Data Analyst to interpret web analytics, specifically relating to traffic derived from search engines, into actionable business tasks.

Senior web programmer – Nixon McInnes We need someone who understands that a good developer does more than just write solid code. You understand that a specification is more than a two-page Word document that nobody actually reads. You know that to properly test something you have to do more than just play with it for a bit and see if it breaks.

Senior Web Designer – Nixon McInnes Want to be the champion of design and front end coding at Nixon McInnes? We are looking for a talented web designer who can also produce xhtml/css templates and has experience working with Flash.

Junior A/C Exec / Office Admin – Blue Design & Marketing Ltd Supporting the Client Services team, your organisational skills are top notch. From sourcing quotes and managing filing systems, to ordering ink cartridges, you relish the opportunity to get involved in all aspects of the business.

News Plug-in Media Nominated for the "Oscars of the Internet" The Webby Awards, the leading international award for the Web, today nominated Flash specialists Plug-in Media for the Best Professional Services website of 2007.

£10,000 Killer Competition in April and May Brighton based advertising agency, Killer Creative, has launched its new website this month and to celebrate, the agency is offering the chance to win a £10,000 advertising campaign.

Futurmedia Signs First Commercial Partner Futuremedia plc (NasdaqCM: FMDA) a leading learning and brand communications provider today announced a new contract with Britvic Soft Drinks plc, a leading UK soft drinks manufacturer, to make elifeTM available to Britvic’s 2,700 employees.

Toaster Productions Website Launch Hastings-based film production company Toaster Productions are proud to announce the launch of their exciting new website www.toasterproductions.co.uk.

...to advertise call our sales team on 01273 818150

latest jobs 49

050_LS317_Job Ads

13/4/07

12:51 PM

Page 2

JOBS

e are looking for estate agents and mortgage advisors to join our hugely successful team.

The reason for our success is simple – we have the best people working for us. Our award winning training and development is second to none so don’t worry if you have no previous experience – if you have high energy, a smile and a background in sales – we will do the rest! You will need to be able to drive, so if you fit the bill and want to find out more, our team will be at The Preston Park Hotel, 216 Preston Road, Brighton, BN1 6UU between 3pm and 7pm.

W

Appointments may be pre-arranged by contacting Angela Jarrett on 01795 535725 or just drop in bringing your CV & passport size photo.

DO YOU THINK YOU CAN DO YOUR BOSSES JOB? IF THE ANSWER IS YES, COME AND WORK WITH ME!

HARRINGTONS LETTINGS NEEDS YOU! EXPERIENCED LETTINGS NEGOTIATOR OTE £40,000+ FULLY EXPENSED CAR WE are Harringtons, who since 1993 have been letting properties in Brighton & Hove. In the last three years, our growth has been far greater than anticipated, and we now need to recruit an experienced negotiator.

VARIETY, CHALLENGE, JOB SATISFACTION, RESULTS, REWARDS! OVER £25,000 P.A. You will be working on all property matters, ranging from management of client portfolios, to purchasing properties on behalf of investors.

Due to expansion this has resulted in the creation of a new position; senior personal assistant, reporting directly to the owner.

YOU are sitting down reading this advert, believing that you can do a bigger job than your current one, and that you are ready for the challenge…and the rewards that come from taking on more responsibility.

You will have a proven track record that demonstrates your ability to sell, drive profitability, showing innovation, think on your feet, deal with problems as they arise, and act in a professional manner with both colleagues, prospects and customers. You believe in hard work, the ethos of the team, are results driven, take pride in your job and believe your efforts will be rewarded where it matters the most – IN YOUR POCKET! If you believe you meet the criteria we are looking for then please send your CV by email to:charlotte@harringtonslettings.co.uk or to Harringtons, 109 Western Road, Hove, East Sussex BN3 1FA. Tel: 01273 724000

50 latest jobs

Ideally, you will have some legal experience in property, conveyancing etc with either solicitors or other employment within property management in the past. You will be someone who relishes a challenge, who thrives under pressure, takes initiative, makes decisions and enjoys dealing with people both face to face and on the phone.

You will be computer literate, commercially orientated, and above all you will be a self-starter who does not need to be told what to do every day!

If you think you are the right person to take on this challenge, please send your detailed CV to mark@harringtons-property.co.uk

hundreds of jobs every week...

051_LS317_DWL

4/12/07

12:25 PM

Page 1

JOBS

Business aid

Ian Wilson of local solicitors Dean Wilson Laing gives invaluable advice to the city’s thousands of small companies and employees This week: Staff absence

QUESTION: As an employer I am concerned about the levels of absence amongst my staff. Is there anything I can do about it?

ANSWER: According to the latest CBI figures over £13 billion is lost a year as a direct result of employee absence – or an average £600 per employee per year. There are many steps employers can take but arguably the best way to tackle the problem is to look at the underlying causes of absence.

Short and long term absences require different approaches and it is crucial to have an Absence Management Policy in place.

QUESTION: What should the Absence Management Policy cover?

ANSWER: Firstly employees (or someone on their behalf) should be required to promptly report any absence, say by 9.30 am on the first day of absence and each day

thereafter. It would also be a good idea to set out trigger points in the policy so as to identify persistent absentees and make it clear that individuals will be subjected to a review meeting where their attendance falls below the accepted level. At the review targets should be set for attendance levels and explain that failure to meet those targets may result in disciplinary action being taken.

QUESTION: What about long term absence?

ANSWER: With long term absences the focus should be different. Medical evidence should always be obtained in these cases and a medical expert should be asked to provide detailed advice as to how you can assist the employee in returning to work – for example a phased return to work or a change in duties may be appropriate.

QUESTION: Can I discipline or even dismiss staff for unsatisfactory attendance?

ANSWER: You can yes, but only if you have followed a fair procedure before dismissing them and you must follow the Statutory Dismissal Procedure as well. It is always sensible to seek legal advice before dismissing an employee so as to ensure you have followed the correct procedure and don’t end up defending yourself against an unfair dismissal or disability discrimination claim.

QUESTION: What else can I do?

ANSWER: Prevention is better than cure so you could try to incentivise your workforce to reduce their own absences.

Promote and provide advice on the benefits of a healthy lifestyle, consider encouraging good attendance with financial and non-

Ian Wilson is senior partner of six-partner Brighton solicitors Dean Wilson Laing and specialises in employment law. He was a part-time chairman of the Employment Tribunals for nine years. He is also a board member of The Prince’s Trust (Sussex). financial benefits such as a prize draw or an extra day’s holiday for those with a 100 per cent attendance record.

Do you have a question on employment law for Ian? Send it to Latest Homes at our usual address, or by email to editorial@thelatest.co.uk

DWL

SOUND ADVICE Dean Wilson Laing • Employment law • Personal injury • Family lawyers • Will & probate • Buying & selling your home

contact

Sue Ines si@dwl.uk.com 96 Church Street•Brighton•BN1 1UJ t: 01273 327241 f: 01273 770913 thelawyers@dwl.uk.com•www.dwl.uk.com

51 latest jobs

Community Legal Service

Specialist Help Point Housing, Family and Personal Injury Law

hundreds of jobs every week...

052_LS317_TVIntro

4/13/07

12:11 PM

Page 2

latestTV

Dani on TV

She says it how she sees it

Don’t look now When The Jeremy Kyle Show is on Dani turns off in disgust. It’s the programme she loves to hate “The Jeremy Kyle Show is already Britain’s most loved, watched and talked about talk show!” That’s a quote from the ITV website by the way, it is in no way my opinion.

Most loved, my foot! Does anyone actually watch this for more than its comic value? Even then, the comic value isn’t enough to make me watch it. The comic value doesn’t make Jeremy Kyle any less of a slimy prat! After GMTV I recoil if I forget to turn over and The Jeremy Kyle Show starts, so I hear his voice shouting at anyone who talks, telling everyone they are absolutely useless and crap with his shiny little suit and ugly-looking mouth. How anyone can watch this, let alone apply to appear on the show is beyond me!

And funnily enough, I know for a fact I am not the only person who absolutely loathes Jeremy Kyle, lots and lots of people do, and just like me there is not one massive reason why, but a series of little ones that make the show the most irritating thing on our TV screens.

I suppose ITV did a kind of smart thing getting the guy that started off his career working in the sales department at Orchard FM before moving through a few different radio stations with his show Jezza’s Confessions before ITV grabbed him and put him on the air waves. Is it even legally right for the guests on his show to be verbally abused, called scum and taunted by a man whose only qualification is a sociology degree?

At least Jerry Springer was as naughty as his guests and therefore had (in a weird way) more of a right to have an opinion and be rude.

What I want to know is if any of the guests on Jeremy’s show actually thought it helped? Did they leave thinking, “Thank goodness for Jeremy Kyle. If he hadn’t of called me scum I wouldn’t have left my cousin to date the father of my baby’s daddy!”

Are the guests even real? And if so, where do they find them? And if you’re thinking ‘on an estate somewhere’ you could quite possibly be right. But even if that is true, surely he would have run out of people willing to go on the show?

It’s embarrassing to watch, so why is it still on the air? It must be because people like me constantly write about how horrible it is so people tune in to make their own decision, therefore there are always people watching! That must be it, I can’t think of any other reason for consciously turning the TV channel over to that. Trisha was pretty crap, but I’d take that any day over slimy Jeremy Kyle!

52 latest 7

Films on TV

17–23 Apr

Movies on the box this week

TUESDAY 17

SATURDAY 21

Dante’s Peak ★★✩✩✩ (1997, ITV2, 11.45pm. Dir Roger Donaldson) If you’re up in the early hours of a school night then this should appeal to your sense of random destruction and natural disaster, with Linda Hamilton and Pierce Brosnan trying to save a suburb from a volcano and grab a snog at the same time. Fast, furious and not half fun.

Victoria Nangle

House Of Sand And Fog

WEDNESDAY 18

Coming To America ★★★★✩ (1988, ITV1, 11.15pm. Dir John Landis) A guilty pleasure from the days when Eddie Murphy was better known for his stand-up comedy than knocking up Scary Spice, this fish-out-of-water picture ain’t subtle but still has plenty of un-PC gags to enjoy – that is if the ITV censor isn’t feeling particularly clip-happy tonight.

MC

Twelve Monkeys ★★★★✩ (1995, BBC3, 10pm. Dir Terry Gilliam) Bruce Willis is a convict travelling back in time to save the world from a virus that devastated the planet thanks to a few well-placed germ terrorists. With Brad Pitt as a nutty nutcake, this is Gilliam on form.

With a coherent story. Always helps.

VN

THURSDAY 19 Jackie Brown ★★★✩✩ (1997, Channel 4, 10.30pm.

Dir Quentin Tarantino) Starring Pam Grier as a feisty air hostess smuggling for her gun-toting pals, our lovely lady gets caught red-handed and is compelled to put a plan of her own into action in order to avoid being scuppered by either her mates or the police. Retro cool with a great script and a funky 1970s soundtrack.

VN

FRIDAY 20 Muriel’s Wedding ★★★★✩ (1994, UKTV Gold, 12.55am.

Dir P.J. Hogan) Superior bittersweet rom-com in which Toni Collette stars as an Antipodean ugly duckling desperate for the big wedding of her dreams.

The expected laughs come thick and fast, but like the twinkly Abba soundtrack there’s darker depths to the movie than the jaunty first half might suggest.

Matt Chittock

Jet Li’s The Enforcer ★★★✩✩ (1995, BBC1, 12.35am Dir Corey Yuen) This satisfying bit of super-powered chop-sockey stars Li as an undercover police officer who is forced into deep cover in order to infiltrate a gang of dangerous criminals. Rib-cracking martial arts scenes and a nice sense of its own absurdity make up for the often ho-hum story.

MC

★★★✩✩ (2003, BBC2, 9pm. Dir Vadim Perelman) Based on one of Oprah Winfrey’s favourite novels, this problematic, but engrossing drama stars the oftenoverlooked Jennifer Connelly as a homeless substance abuser in search of absolution. It’s a self-consciously ‘heavy-weight’ movie that still has the power to suck viewers in.

MC

SUNDAY 22 Gangs Of New York ★★✩✩✩ (2002, Channel 4, 10pm.

Dir Martin Scorsese) Whatever the truth behind rumours that producer interference bowdlerised what was initially a labour of love for director Martin Scorsese, this strangely cartoonish action film misses a chance to show the violent birth of modern New York. Still – watch out for Daniel Day-Lewis relishing the part of a vicious gang leader.

MC

MONDAY 23 Bang ★★★✩✩ (1994, Sky Movies Indie, 11pm. Dir ‘Ash’) Almost the definition of guerilla filmmaking this punk-style production was shot fast on the cheap. A character called ‘the Girl’ (it’s that sort of movie) mugs an LA cop and sees what his power feels like for a day. Indie aficionados will find plenty of bang for their buck.

MC Gangs Of New York Sunday 22, Channel 4, 10pm

053_LS317_TV_Tue

4/12/07

5:27 PM

Page 1

tuesday 17 The Apprentice BBC2, 7pm Sir Alan Sugar – that multimillionaire bloke who scowls a lot and has a knack of saying ‘You’re fired’ to unsuspecting egomaniacs each week – started his first business with £100 and a white van. Now he wants the contestants to see what they can make from these treasures. It was 40 years ago, Sir Alan!

Kidnapped Channel 4, 11.05pm This really is getting gripping, in an extended episode of 24 or Lost kind of a way. The kidnappers are splintering into separate groups and in-fighting, the mole in the FBI may be surfacing, and all the guys are looking smoochy in a dirty, justchased-a-baddie-down-the-road fashion. Excellent stuff.

Family Guy BBC3, 11pm Two – count ‘em – two episodes back to back of the dysfunctional family with the despotic baby Stewie and intellectual dog Brian.

With celebs queuing around the block to guest star and stories that go off on tangents the Simpsons have only dreamt of, this is a very enjoyable way to round off any given Tuesday.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Missing 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.30 Car Booty 12.15pm Cash In The Attic 1.00 BBC News; Weather 1.30 Regional News And Weather 1.40 Neighbours 2.05 Diagnosis Murder 2.50 Bargain Hunt 3.20 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3.25 Lazytown 3.50 Watch My Chops 4.00 The Basil Brush Show 4.30 The Slammer 5.00 Blue Peter 5.25 Newsround 5.35 Neighbours

6.00am CBeebies 7.00 CBBC 10.30 FILM: When Zachary Beaver Came To Town (2003) 11.50 The Flying Gardener 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Coast: East Coast - Fish Fingers And Butlins 1.10 Animal Park 1.55 Escape To The Country 2.55 Through The Keyhole 3.40 Flog It! 4.25 Ready Steady Cook 5.10 The Weakest Link 5.55 Party Election Broadcast By The Conservative Party

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 2.00 Midsomer Murders 4.00 Daily Cooks 5.00 The Royal

6.10am Inuk 6.25 The Hoobs (x2) 7.15 Freshly Squeezed 7.45 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.15 Just Shoot Me 8.45 Just Shoot Me 9.10 Frasier 9.40 Will And Grace 10.10 ER 11.05 ER 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 3 Minute Wonder: Heavy Petting 12.35 The Savoy: Checking Into History 12.55 FILM: Smoky (1946) 2.25 Life Begins Again 3.30 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The Paul O’Grady Show

6.00am The Save-Ums! 6.10 Fifi And The Flowertots 6.25 Franny’s Feet 6.35 Clangers 6.45 Funky Town 6.50 The Milkshake! Show 7.20 The Beeps 7.30 Little Princess 7.45 Noddy 8.00 Fifi 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.40 Old Bear Stories 8.50 Mio Mao 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 Five News 12.00pm Home And Away 12.30 The C.H.A.O.S. Clinic 1.00 HouseBusters 1.30 FILM: Mr And Mrs Loving (1996) 3.35 News Update 3.40 FILM: Profoundly Normal (2003) 5.30 News

6.00am Soccer AM: The Best Bits 7.00 WWE Afterburn 8.00 Cricket World Cup 9.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 10.00 Cricket World Cup 11.00 FA Youth Cup Final 12.30pm Wild Spirits 1.00 Cricket World Cup 2.00 Live: Cricket World Cup 7.30 LIVE Ford Football Special 10.30 You’re On Sky Sports 11.30 Revista De La Liga 12.30am Ford Football Special 2.00 Revista De La Liga 3.00 You’re On Sky Sports 4.00 Ford Football Special

6.00 BBC News And Weather 6.30 South East Today; Weather 7.00 Castaway Danny forces the castaways to reflect on island life.

He’s found a darn big mirror.

Ingenious, really.

7.30 EastEnders Kevin and Denise make a decision about their wedding.

A taffeta space theme perhaps?

8.00 Holby City There’s a clash for Ric as he has to decide whether to stake his reputation on supporting his fiancee Thandie. Ric and his ladies.

It’s just like old times.

9.00 Sea Of Souls Professor Monaghan arrives at a remote house to investigate paintings which are linked to a Victorian spiritualist group. Karen, the newly-bereaved owner of the mansion, becomes convinced that a presence is there.

Rattling chains a go-go.

10.00 BBC News; Regional News; Weather 10.35 ONE Life Doc following the British Wheelchair Dance Association Championships, as teams from Scotland and England fight it out.

11.15 Cricket World Cup Highlights 12.15am FILM: Atomic Twister (2002) No new Blondie dance here.

1.50 Sign Zone: See Hear 2.35 Timewatch: Hijack 3.25 Hairy Bikers Ride Again 3.55 Beat The Bailiff 4.40 Joins BBC News 24 5.00 Cricket World Cup Highlights

6.00 Eggheads Dermot Murnaghan hosts a general knowledge quiz.

6.30 Great British Menu Fourteen of the nation’s top chefs compete to convince the French that we can match them in gastronomic prowess.

Proper British grub. Mmmm.

7.00 The Apprentice See highlights.

8.00 The Underdog Show Celebrities are paired up in a Cruftsstyle competition with untrained and previously unloved rescue dogs. Will both respond to scratches behind the ears? Or snuggles? Tune in.

9.00 Horizon Horizon takes seven people who are some of the highest flyers in their field and puts them through a battery of tests to measure their intelligence. Looking for evidence of intelligence in the brain, in the genes and in upbringing, this programme uses some of the latest theories to see which of the seven has the highest intelligence.

9.50 Wild Scotland Grr. 10.00 The Underdog Show: Results The latest doggy duo is eliminated by a trio of professional judges and the viewers. Ahhhh.

10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Return Of The Hero Documentary which explores the reinvention of the adventure book in the 21st century.

12.20am FILM: The Abduction Club (2002) Period romantic comedy 2.00 Vocational Bitesize (x2)

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.25 Party Election Broadcast By The Conservative Party 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Andy lies to get Billy arrested. The rogue!

7.30 Climate Change - Make A Difference Ian Axton and Sangeeta Bhabra go to Legoland to see the South in miniature and find out where viewers can make a difference. Maybe the Harry Potter castle should go.

8.00 My Big Fat Property Fortune Craig Kelly narrates this entertaining and amazing programme that unearths the best ever house buys, as the biggest winners in the housing boom are revealed.

9.00 Half Ton Hospital: Tonight Special Children are paying the price of fatty diets and a modern lifestyle.

Bill weighs 50 stones and his last hope of losing weight is Brookhaven Hospital. But the worry for Bill and his 30-stone wife is the future of their 14-year-old son.

10.00 Marbella Belles Louise Truelove goes under the knife.

10.30 ITV News; Weather 11.00 Real Crime: Killed By A Perfect Son The story of 19-year-old murderer Brian Blackwell.

12.00am ITV Play: Glitterball 4.05 Protest Songs Forever 5.00 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Tina has an identity crisis after dumping Dominic. Who’s she going to be now? Catwoman?

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder: Lee Kern’s A To Z... Of Love 8.00 Selling Houses Abroad Andrew tackles an unwanted home in Spain, an unfinished apartment in Cyprus and an uninhabitable property in France. Avez-vous un chateaux?

9.00 Get Your Act Together With Harvey Goldsmith Losing £50,000 every month, the Big L radio station in Essex is in dire need of assistance.

The disc jockeys, including Mike Reid, play whatever they like and are reluctant to accept that the station is in trouble. As one of the founders of Xfm, Harvey knows a thing or two about radio. Can he fix it?

10.00 Mr Miss World An unusual insight into the remarkable world of transgender beauty contests.

11.05 Kidnapped See highlights.

1.30am PartyPoker.com Poker Nations Cup 2.30 Lloyds TSB Insurance British F3 2.55 FIA GT Championship 3.25 KOTV Classics 4.20 Velux 5 Oceans Ultimate 4.45 Water Stories 4.55 Freesports On 4: Hike And Ride 5.25 Supporting Acts 5.40 Six Experiments That Changed The World

6.00 Home And Away Beth bids the Bay farewell to embark on a soulsearching adventure in Europe. Panto?

6.30 Two And A Half Men 7.00 Five News 7.15 Big Ideas That Changed The World Benazir Bhutto, former Prime Minister of Pakistan, examines the history of Islam, from its foundations in the seventh century AD to the present day.

8.00 Herod The Great: The True Story Documentary exploring one of the greatest tyrants in history, King Herod the Great.

9.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation The team is divided when Catherine reluctantly agrees to help Keppler deceive their colleagues in order to catch a murderer. Tricky, tricky, Catherine. The guys aren’t thick y’know.

10.00 CSI: Miami The CSIs investigate when a rapist is brutally murdered after his identity was exposed.

11.00 Law And Order: Special Victims Unit A young woman is raped during the gala opening of a high-profile family hotel.

12.00am Arrest And Trial 12.30 Arrest And Trial 12.50 NBA Action 4.20 Now Is The Time: Night Of Combat - Kick Boxing 5.10 Race And Rally UK 5.35 Motorsport Mundial

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 On The Edge 7.00 Sailing: America’s Cup 8.00 Fishing: Bass Fishing 9.00 On The Edge 9.30 Wild Spirits 10.00 World Motor Sport 12.30pm On The Edge 1.00 LIVE Sailing: America’s Cup 5.00 Wild Spirits 5.30 The Dogs 6.00 On The Edge 6.30 Revista De La Liga 7.30 LIVE Cricket World Cup 11.00 Poker: Sports Stars Challenge 1.00am Sailing: America’s Cup

Sky Sports 3 7.30am FA Youth Cup Final 9.00 Speedway: Elite League 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Speedway: Elite League 2.00 On The Edge 2.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 3.30 FA Youth Cup Final 5.00 WWE Smackdown 7.00 Sports Unlimited 8.00 Freeskiing 8.30 Johnny Mowlem’s Racing Travels 9.00 Sailing: America’s Cup 10.00 Sports Unlimited 11.00 Fishing: Bass Fishing 12.00am Tennis: ATP Masters 2.00 Johnny Mowlem’s Racing Travels

Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

6.00pm Stargate Atlantis 7.00 The Simpsons (x4) 9.00 Battlestar Galactica 10.00 Ross Kemp: Teenage Gangs Of South London 11.00 Cold Case 12.00am Brainiac: Science Abuse 1.00 Red Light Girls 1.50 Uncut! The Villa 2.40 Battlestar Galactica 3.30 Best Of Buffy 4.20 Star Trek: Voyager (x2)

7.00pm Spendaholics Saved My Life 8.00 The Bulls*** Detective 9.00 Panic Room 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Ideal 11.00 Family Guy (x2) See highlights. 11.45 Two Pints Of Lager & A Packet Of Crisps (x2) 12.45 Panic Room 1.40 Ideal 2.10 Two Pints Of Lager (x2) 3.10 Lucy: Teen Transsexual

7.00pm Meetings With Remarkable Trees 7.10 A Pocketful Of Posies 8.00 The World 8.30 Never Mind The Full Stops 9.00 Ripping Yarns 9.30 The League Of Gentlemen 10.00 Frontline Iraq 10.30 A Story Of People In War And Peace: Storyville 11.40 Silent Britain 1.10am Never Mind The Full Stops

1.00pm Emmerdale 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.40 The Ricki Lake Show 4.25 Sally Jessy Raphael 5.15 Airline USA 5.45 Judge Judy 7.00 American Idol (x2) 9.00 WAGs Boutique 10.00 FILM: Ali G Indahouse (2002) 11.45 FILM: Dante’s Peak (1997) 1.40am ITV Play: Glitterball 4.00 Teleshopping

2.30pm Tales Of The Unexpected 3.00 Cagney And Lacey 4.00 Pie In The Sky 5.05 Quantum Leap 6.05 Rising Damp 6.40 Movies Now 6.50 Lovejoy 8.00 The Bill: End Of The Affair 9.00 City Lights 10.00 Inspector Wexford: Some Lie And Some Die 1.05am Lovejoy 2.05 Chancer 3.00 Pie In The Sky 4.00 Teleshopping

7.00pm Hollyoaks 7.30 The War At Home 7.55 Friends (x2) 9.00 The OC 10.00 Get Your Act Together: The Showdown 10.30 Sex In Court 11.00 Derren Brown: Trick Or Treat 11.35 Peep Show 12.05am Scrubs (x2) 1.05 Smallville: Superman The Early Years 1.50 Get Your Act Together: The Showdown 2.20 Sex In Court

4.00pm FILM: The Law And Jake Wade (1958) 5.35 A Place In The Sun 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 More4 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares 10.00 Ghosts 12.00am NYPD Blue 12.55 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 1.20 Countdown

7.00pm The X Files 8.00 The Real Extras 9.00 Sensing Murder 10.30 Most Haunted 11.30 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.30am Most Haunted Extra 1.00 Most Haunted 2.00 The L Word 3.00 Veronica Mars 3.50 Love Is In The Heir (x2) 4.40 6ixth Sense With Colin Fry (x2) 5.30 Home Shopping

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

7.00pm The Thin Blue Line 7.40 One Foot In The Grave (x2) 9.00 Sharpe 11.05 Men Behaving Badly (x2) 12.25am Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps 1.05 Have I Got 2001 For You 1.45 One Foot In The Grave 2.20 Room 101 2.50 The House Of Eliott 3.45 Wogan: Now And Then

7.00pm Scrubs (x2) 8.00 That 70s Show (x2) 9.00 Scrubs (x2) 10.00 Sex And The City 10.35 South Park (x2) 11.35 Comedy Blue 12.05am Jack Dee Live At The Apollo 1.05 Sex And The City 1.40 South Park (x2) 2.40 Comedy Blue 3.10 Badly Dubbed Porn 3.40 Sexy Cam 4.00 Scrubs (x2) 5.00 Sir Leslie Quint: A Life In Film (x2)

5.00pm How It’s Made (x2) 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 Mythbusters 8.00 How Do They Do It? (x2) 9.00 Deadliest Catch 10.00 World’s Lost Tribes 11.00 Forensic Factor 12.00am The FBI Files 1.00 Guilty Or Innocent? 2.00 Forensic Detectives 3.00 World’s Lost Tribes 3.50 Deadliest Catch (x2) 5.30 How It’s Made

3.00pm FILM: Tornado Warning (2002) 5.00 Tru Calling 6.00 The Lost World 7.00 Roswell 8.00 Tru Calling 9.00 FILM: Fight Club (1999) 11.40 Medium 12.40am FILM: Emmanuelle’s Private Collection: Sexual Spells () 2.30 FILM: Brain Damage (1988) 4.00 Star Trek 5.00 The Lost World

12.15pm The Pilgrim (1923) 1.05 The Raven (1963) 2.35 The Young Lions (1958) 5.25 Marty (1955) 7.05 Buchanan Rides Alone (1958) 8.35 Classics Close Up 9.00 The Conqueror (1956) 10.50 The Young Lions (1958) 1.40am The Raven (1963) 3.25 Miracle On 34th Street (1947) 5.10 City Lights (1931)

12.00pm I Heart Huckabees (2004) 2.00 The Four Hundred Blows (1959) 4.00 Ballets Russes 6.05 Fires Of Kuwait 6.45 The Edukators (2004) 9.00 Mean Creek (2004) 11.00 I Heart Huckabees (2004) 12.50am Fires Of Kuwait 1.40 The Edukators (2004)

1.00pm Jassy (1947) 3.00 The Maverick Queen (1956) 4.40 Texas (1941) 6.25 The Bridges Of Madison County (1995) Clint Eastwood is a photographer, Meryl Streep isn’t. Love is unspoken, making it difficult to understand, the end. 9.00 Cypher (2002) 10.45 Predator 2 (1990) 12.50am Palindromes (2004)

1.05pm Merry Andrew (1958) 3.00 The Trouble With Girls (1969) 4.50 King Solomon’s Mines (1950) 6.55 The Sunshine Boys (1975) 9.00 The Exorcist (1973) 11.20 Coma (1978) 1.30am Private Potter (1963) 3.10 The Alphabet Murders (1966) 4.45 Teleshopping 5.00 Cairo (1963)

Classics

Indie

054_LS317_TV_Wed

4/12/07

1:20 PM

Page 1

wednesday 18 Dog House BBC1, 10.40pm Five disrutpive teenageers – it’s a good thing we have so many of them otherwise who would be in the various telly programmes about learning and growth and stuff? – encounter a bit of concentration as they learn how to train assistance dogs for disabled folk. Warming, growing, sharing. Bless the children.

Peep Show Channel 4, 12.05pm The mega-accalimed moron’seye-view comedy show is back.

Partly due to popular demand and party due to the success of the Mitchell and Webb brand. For whatever reason, we now have Mark engaged to Sophie, because he’s too embarassed not to be, and meeting the parents. With Jeremy. Not a good idea. Bad.

Shrink Rap More4, 9pm Clever idea this. Not only is Dr Pamela Connolly (she of the married to Billy fame) interviewing her celebs but she’s using trained skills to ask leading questions and get right to the heart of the issue. Really the most revealing conversations you’ll see on telly. Stephen Fry tries out the couch tonight.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Missing 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.30 Car Booty 12.15pm Cash In The Attic 1.00 BBC News; Weather 1.30 Regional News And Weather 1.40 Neighbours 2.05 Diagnosis Murder 2.50 Bargain Hunt 3.20 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3.25 Lazytown 3.50 The Cramp Twins 4.00 Prank Patrol 4.30 The Slammer 5.00 Blue Peter 5.25 Newsround 5.35 Neighbours

6.00am CBeebies 8.00 CBBC 10.30 The Munsters 10.55 The Munsters 11.20 Coast: Cuttlefish And Pompey 11.30 The Daily Politics 1.00pm Lifeline 1.10 The Flying Gardener 1.30 Working Lunch 2.00 Animal Park 2.25 Escape To The Country 2.55 Through The Keyhole 3.40 Flog It! 4.25 Ready Steady Cook 5.10 The Weakest Link 5.55 Party Election Broadcast By The Liberal Democrats

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 2.00 Midsomer Murders 4.00 Daily Cooks 5.00 The Royal

6.10am Inuk 6.25 The Hoobs (x2) 7.15 Freshly Squeezed 7.45 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.15 Just Shoot Me (x2) 9.10 Frasier 9.40 Will And Grace 10.10 ER (x2) 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 Great British Brands 12.45 FILM: Dark Command (1940) 2.25 Life Begins Again 3.30 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The Paul O’Grady Show

6.00am The Save-Ums! 6.10 Fifi And The Flowertots 6.25 Franny’s Feet 6.35 The Clangers 6.45 Funky Town 6.50 The Milkshake! Show 7.20 The Beeps 7.30 Little Princess 7.45 Noddy 8.00 Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.40 Old Bear Stories 8.50 Mio Mao 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 News 12.00pm Home And Away 12.30 The C.H.A.O.S. Clinic 1.00 HouseBusters 1.30 FILM: To Love, Honor And Deceive (1996) 3.30 Five News Update 3.35 FILM: Columbo: A Bird In The Hand (1991) 5.30 Five News 6.00 Home And Away Rachel becomes increasingly uncomfortable with her involvement in Kit and Kim’s baby plans. There is such a thing at too modern.

6.30 Two And A Half Men 7.00 Five News 7.15 Lemur Island The Graveyard Gang welcomes two new arrivals while its oldest member decides to pack his bags. Sounds a lot like Shipwrecked.

8.00 I Know What You Ate Last Summer Six overweight British teenagers undergo a pioneering wilderness weight-loss course in California. The group return from their mountain hike. Nyondo gets into trouble when he breaks the camp rule forbidding romance, and Alyssa finally turns a corner. Hopefully not behind Nyondo’s makeshift bike shed.

9.00 FILM: Dean Koontz’s Sole Survivor (2000) Starring Billy Zane and John C McGinley. After the death of his wife and daughter in a plane crash, a reporter discovers that the crash may have been related to a scientific experiment involving children. Spooky.

12.10am PartyPoker.com European Open III 1.40 Major League Baseball 4.30 NHRA Drag Racing

6.00am You’re On Sky Sports 7.00 WWE Heat 8.00 Cricket World Cup 9.00 Revista De La Liga 10.00 Cricket World Cup 11.00 Ford Football Special 12.30pm The Dogs 1.00 Cricket World Cup 2.00 LIVE Cricket World Cup 7.00 Big Fight Countdown 7.30 LIVE Ford Football Special 10.30 Spanish Cup Football 12.00am Ford Football Special 1.30 Poker: Sports Stars Challenge 3.30 Ford Football Special

6.00 BBC News And Weather 6.30 South East Today; Weather 7.00 Demolition Follow demolition crews as they smash, crush and blast their way through Britain’s and Ireland’s unwanted buildings. Like being in the sand box – but bigger.

7.30 The Green Green Grass Sleepless nights, confusion over chemicals and an EU farm inspection.

A normal day on the farm for Boycie and Marlene. Oh, how we chuckled.

8.00 Watchdog Looking after our own. Consumers, not fierce telly folk.

8.30 Car Wars With Manchester’s specialist car crime squad.

9.00 The Apprentice Sugar sets the teams the task of manufacturing sweets to sell at London Zoo. Bun flavour, perhaps?

10.00 BBC News; Regional News; Weather 10.35 The National Lottery Draws 10.40 Dog House Five disruptive teenagers learn how to train assistance dogs for disabled people.

We grew, we wept, we became better people. See highlights.

11.20 Cricket World Cup Highlights 12.20am FILM: Running Scared (1986) 2.10 Sign Zone: The Gardener’s Year 2.40 Mission Africa 3.10 My Life As A Child 3.40 Beat The Bailiff 4.25 Joins BBC News 24 5.00 Cricket World Cup Highlights

6.00 Eggheads Grab those questions and shake out all those appropriate answers. You can do it, Buster.

6.30 Great British Menu Nick Nairn and Jeremy Lee are cooking their main courses, each hoping to go through and represent Scotland in the national final. Scrumdidillyumptious.

7.00 My Life As A Child India (9), Persis (11) and Chelsea (11) deal with moving house and new siblings, and also show an interest in fashion, make-up and style. Grow up so fast.

7.30 Friends For Dinner Celebrity chefs come to the aid of people in culinary need. Me! Me! Me! Please.

8.00 Neneh And Andi Dish It Up Neneh Cherry and Andi Oliver cook Sunday lunch for 12 people. Loads.

8.30 Sweet Baby James James returns to his old school and themes his puds on childhood classics.

9.00 Natural World Nature documentary. Wildlife biologists Rick Sinnott and Jessy Coltrane believe dangerous animals can live happily in the biggest city in Alaska. Like in The Flintstones’ Bedrock?

9.50 New Forest Ponies 10.00 The Apprentice: You’re Fired Adrian Chiles grills the newly-fired candidate from The Apprentice.

10.30 Newsnight 11.20 The Real Casino Royale 12.20am FILM: The Stranger (1946) 2.00 BBC Learning Zone: Schools: Vocational Bitesize (x2)

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.25 Party Election Broadcast By The Liberal Democrats 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Andy softens slightly when Billy’s willing to do time for him. Oh, that’s all it takes is it?

7.30 Coronation Street Will Leanne finally give in to Liam’s charms? And how much will it cost, darlin’?

8.00 The Bill Lewis and Roger attend the scene of an assault, the victim doesn’t want to press charges - but it seems that he was beaten up for refusing to take part in a security van heist. Cheeky!

9.00 City Lights Hatton and Cully turn the screws on Tate, who can hardly believe his luck when Pauline phones him in desperation. As she pours her heart out to him, he tries to find out the exact whereabouts of her husband. Busy, busy, busy.

10.00 Get A Grip This week Ben and Alexa consider the brevity of celebrity marriages, calling for a new form of civil union in Britain, to be called getting OK’d. Like it.

10.30 ITV News; Weather 11.00 Harry Hill’s TV Burp Harry Hill presents another televisual feast.

11.35 Zoe Lucker’s Orange Playlist 12.00am ITV Play: Glitterball 4.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 5.00 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Nancy feels awkward after her drunken row with Jake. Now she really is becoming Becca. Oops!

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder: Lee Kern’s A To Z... Of The Monarchy 8.00 Property Ladder A Northampton couple run into trouble while attempting to convert a former massage parlour. Too many red lightbulbs?

9.00 Grand Designs Revisited Kevin McCloud revisits Monty and Clare in their extraordinary experimental home in Peckham, and discovers whether the compact home suits their newly-expanded family.

10.00 Desperate Housewives Lynette tries to change the uniforms at the pizzeria. More frills maybe?

11.05 Gordon Ramsay’s F Word Gordon Ramsay hosts a fast-paced food magazine show featuring recipes, consumer stories and cooking challenges.

12.05am Peep Show See highlights.

12.40 FILM: Hallo Panda 1.15 The War At Home 1.40 The Osbournes (x2) 2.25 The Jamie Kennedy Experiment 3.30 Blowing It 3.40 Bob And Margaret (x2) 4.30 Humdrum 4.40 Wild Things 5.25 Countdown

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 On The Edge 7.00 Sailing: America’s Cup 8.00 Sports Unlimited 9.00 On The Edge 9.30 Freeskiing 10.00 Poker: Sports Stars Challenge 12.00pm On The Edge 12.30 Spirit Of Yachting 1.00 Live Sailing: America’s Cup 5.00 Trans World Sport 6.00 Total Rugby 6.30 European Tour Weekly 7.00 LIVE Cricket World Cup 11.00 Total Rugby 11.30 European Tour Weekly 12.00am Sailing: America’s Cup 1.00 Pool: World Cup Of Pool 2.00 Pool: World Cup Of Pool

Sky Sports 3 7.00am Fishing: Bass Fishing 8.00 Johnny Mowlem’s Racing Travels 8.30 British Formula Ford Championship 9.00 Pool: World Cup Of Pool 10.00 Pool: World Cup Of Pool 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Johnny Mowlem’s Racing Travels 12.30 Revista De La Liga 1.30 Ford Football Special 3.00 Poker: Sports Stars Challenge 5.00 WWE The Bottom Line 6.00 WWE Afterburn 7.00 Pool: World Cup Of Pool 8.00 Pool: World Cup Of Pool 9.00 Sailing: America’s Cup 10.00 Big Fight Countdown 10.30 Watersports World 11.30 Trans World Sport 12.30am Tennis: ATP Masters

Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

4.00pm Stargate SG-1 (x2) 6.00 Stargate Atlantis 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Futurama (x2) 9.00 The Dresden Files 10.00 Lost 11.00 Cold Case 12.00am Brainiac: Science Abuse 1.00 I’m Still Alive 1.50 Uncut! The Villa 2.40 Battlestar Galactica 3.30 Best Of Buffy 4.20 Star Trek: Voyager (x2)

7.00pm Castaway 7.30 Conning The Conmen 8.00 Wedding Stories 9.00 The 34 Stone Teenager: Six Months On 10.00 FILM: Twelve Monkeys (1995) 12.05am Two Pints Of Lager & A Packet Of Crisps (x2) 1.00 American Dad (x2) 1.45 The 34 Stone Teenager: Six Months On 2.45 Castaway

7.00pm Child Of Our Time 8.00 The World 8.30 Thoroughly Modern: The Corset 9.00 The Edwardian Larder 10.00 Frontline Iraq 10.30 Masters And Commanders: No 10 And The Generals 11.30 The Edwardian Larder 12.30am Ready Meals: Britain In A Box 1.10 Thoroughly Modern: The Corset

12.30pm Coronation Street 1.00 Emmerdale 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.40 The Ricki Lake Show 4.25 Sally Jessy Raphael 5.15 Airline USA 5.45 Judge Judy 7.00 Smallville 8.00 FILM: Dante’s Peak (1997) 10.00 Deadline 11.00 Coronation Street 11.30 FILM: U-Turn (1997) 1.55am Deadline

3.00pm Cagney And Lacey 4.00 Pie In The Sky 5.05 Quantum Leap 6.05 Rising Damp 6.40 Film File 6.50 Lovejoy 7.55 Bramwell 9.00 Rising Damp 9.30 FILM: Ghosts From The Past (1996) 12.10am Heartbeat 1.10 Hornblower 3.05 Chancer 4.00 Tales Of The Unexpected 4.30 Teleshopping

7.00pm Hollyoaks 7.30 The War At Home 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Ugly Betty 10.00 Miss Match 11.00 Desperate Housewives 12.00am Scrubs (x2) 1.00 Smallville: Superman The Early Years 1.50 Miss Match 2.30 Porn: A Family Business (x2) 3.30 The War At Home 3.50 One Tree Hill 4.30 Switched (x4)

5.55pm 3 Minute Wonder: Mouthing Off (x2) 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 More4 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 Shrink Rap. See highlights.

10.00 Grand Designs: Trade Secrets 10.30 Travels With My Camera 11.35 NYPD Blue 12.35am The Daily Show With Jon Stewart

7.00pm The X Files 8.00 America’s Next Top Model 9.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 10.00 Criminal Minds 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am The X Files 1.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 2.00 The L Word 3.00 Veronica Mars 3.50 Love Is In The Heir (x2) 4.40 6ixth Sense With Colin Fry (x2) 5.30 Home Shopping

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

5.45pm Some Mothers Do ‘Ave ‘Em 6.25 Keeping Up Appearances 7.00 The Thin Blue Line 7.40 One Foot In The Grave (x2) 9.00 Dalziel And Pascoe 11.25 Men Behaving Badly (x2) 12.45am Dalziel And Pascoe 3.00 The House Of Eliott 3.55 Wogan: Now And Then 4.45 The House Of Eliott 5.35 Neighbours

7.00pm Scrubs (x2) 8.00 That 70s Show (x2) 9.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 10.00 Sex And The City 10.35 South Park (x2) 11.35 Comedy Blue 12.05am Jack Dee Live At The Apollo 1.05 Sex And The City 1.40 South Park (x2) 2.40 Comedy Blue 3.10 Linc’s 3.40 Sexy Cam 4.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2)

7.00pm Mythbusters 8.00 How Do They Do It? 8.30 How It’s Made 9.00 How Do They Do It? (x2) 10.00 Big Machines 11.00 Oil, Sweat And Rigs 12.00am The FBI Files 1.00 Conspiracies On Trial (x2) 2.00 Forensic Detectives 3.00 Big Machines 3.50 How Do They Do It? (x2) 4.40 Deadliest Catch

2.00pm The Lost World 3.00 FILM: Storm (1999) 5.00 Tru Calling 6.00 The Lost World 7.00 Roswell 8.00 Tru Calling 9.00 Heroes 10.00 FILM: The Fifth Element (1997) 12.30am Erotic Misadventures Of The Invisible Man 2.20 FILM: Phantom Force (2004) 4.00 Star Trek 5.00 The Lost World

1.30pm Move Over, Darling (1963) 3.15 The Bitter Tea Of General Yen (1933) 4.45 Bite The Bullet (1975) 7.00 Move Over, Darling (1963) 9.00 The Quiet Man (1952) 11.10 The Killing Of Sister George (1968) 1.35am The Rain People (1969) 3.25 A Lovely Way To Die (1968) 5.20 Modern Times (1936)

12.00pm Garden State (2004) 2.00 Love, Etc (1996) 4.00 Broken Flowers (2005) 5.50 Hail Columbia! 6.50 Bed And Board (1970) 8.35 Indie Close-Up 9.00 Broken Flowers (2005) 11.00 Garden State (2004) 1.00am Love, Etc (1996) 3.00 Hail Columbia!

1.00pm Conspiracy Of Hearts (1960) 3.10 Blowing Wild (1953) 4.50 The Girl Can’t Help It (1956) 6.40 Some Like It Hot (1959) 9.00 Independence Day (1996) 11.50 The War Zone (1999) Tim Roth’s directorial debut starring Ray Winstone. Gritty and all that. 1.40am I’m Not Scared (2003)

3.00pm Lili (1953) 4.30 That’s Entertainment!

(1974) 6.55 Summer Stock (1950) 9.00 Crimes And Misdemeanors (1989) 11.00 The Appointment (1969) 1.05am The Green Helmet (1961) 2.45 Ten Thousand Bedrooms (1957) 4.45 Teleshopping 5.00 The Safecracker (1958)

Classics

Indie

055_LS317_TV_Thu

4/12/07

5:28 PM

Page 1

thursday 19 Britain’s Rich List ITV1, 9pm In this time of footballers’ wives and cheap flights, it’s difficult to tell who’s rich and who’s on the blag. This’ll set you straight. With an exclusive preview into the The Sunday Times Rich List proper, as well as contributions from the people on the list itself, this certainly lets you know how the other half live – and think.

Secret Life Channel 4, 9pm This one-off drama questions the lack of effective measures in place to stop convicted child sex offenders from re-offending once they’ve rejoined the community.

This sees a fella, released in his thirties, set adrift after the facility he’s elected to attend is closed.

With no help and no lifeline, you can feel the danger growing.

Katie And Peter: The Next Chapter ITV2, 9pm We’ve seen them courting in the jungle, we saw them get married – why not impose upon their first year of marriage too? Go on! You know you want to. Today you get the chance to sticky beak into how the golden couple recover from son Harvey’s nasty New Year’s Eve accident.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Missing 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.30 Car Booty 12.15pm Cash In The Attic 1.00 BBC News; Weather 1.30 Regional News And Weather 1.40 Neighbours 2.05 Diagnosis Murder 2.50 Bargain Hunt 3.20 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3.25 Lazytown 3.50 Watch My Chops 4.00 The Basil Brush Show 4.30 Best Of Friends: Africa 5.00 Blue Peter 5.25 Newsround 5.35 Neighbours

6.00am Fimbles 6.20 The Story Makers 6.35 Balamory 7.00 Arthur 7.15 ChuckleVision 7.30 Get 100 8.00 The Underdog Show On CBBC 8.30 Tommy Zoom 8.40 Numberjacks 9.00 Nina And The Neurons 9.15 Lunar Jim 9.25 Me Too! 9.45 Mama Mirabelle’s Home Movies 10.00 In The Night Garden 10.30 FILM: The Shaggy DA (1976) 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.25 London Marathon 1.55 Escape To The Country 2.55 Through The Keyhole 3.40 Flog It! 4.25 Ready Steady Cook 5.10 The Weakest Link 5.55 Party Election Broadcast 6.00 Eggheads Insert your favourite ‘egg’ pun left over from Easter here.

6.30 Great British Menu Nick Nairn and Jeremy Lee will now cook their entire menus for the food experts, Prue Leith, Matthew Fort and Oliver Peyton. Want it. Mmmm...

7.00 Wainwright’s Walks Julia Bradbury explores the work of the great British fell walker and author, Alfred Wainwright.

7.30 Christine’s Garden Christine and Reg have decided to enter their tomatoes into a local show. The heat is on.

8.00 Gardeners’ World Monty builds a melon frame in the vegetable garden as part of his spring gardening tasks.

9.00 Timewatch: The Wave That Destroyed Atlantis Documentary examining new evidence which suggests that Europe’s first great civilisation, the Minoans, was destroyed by a natural disaster. Freaky.

9.50 Stoats Of Kedleston Hall 10.00 QI Stephen Fry hosts the informative, humourous quiz show.

10.30 Newsnight 11.00 Newsnight Review 11.35 Arcade Fire: Culture Show Special Lauren Laverne meets two members of Arcade Fire.

12.05am FILM: Lawn Dogs (1997) 1.40 Star Trek (x2) 3.20 Malcolm In The Middle

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 2.00 Midsomer Murders 4.00 Daily Cooks 5.00 The Royal

6.10am Inuk 6.25 The Hoobs (x2) 7.15 Freshly Squeezed 7.45 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.15 Just Shoot Me (x2) 9.10 Frasier 9.40 Will And Grace 10.10 ER (x2) 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 Checking Into History 12.50 FILM: The Million Pound Note (1954) 2.25 Life Begins Again 3.30 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The Paul O’Grady Show

6.00am The Save-Ums! 6.10 Fifi And The Flowertots 6.25 Franny’s Feet 6.35 The Clangers 6.45 Funky Town 6.50 The Milkshake! Show 7.20 The Beeps 7.30 Little Princess 7.45 Noddy 8.00 Fifi 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.40 Old Bear Stories 8.50 Mio Mao 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 Five News 12.00pm Home And Away 12.30 The C.H.A.O.S. Clinic 1.00 HouseBusters 1.30 Russell Grant’s Postcards 1.40 FILM: Seventh Cavalry (1956) 3.10 Five News Update 3.20 FILM: Search And Rescue (1994) 5.30 Five News 6.00 Home And Away Martha gives Ash an ultimatum. Way to feel like the good one – ‘it’s me or the wife!’

6.30 Two And A Half Men 7.00 Five News 7.15 How Not To Decorate Interior design series presented by Colin McAllister and Justin Ryan, following the real drama behind makeover shows. The show travels to Eastbourne. Ooh! It may be someone you know!

8.00 Ann Maurice: Interior Rivalry House Doctor Ann Maurice oversees a contest to choose a top new interior-design talent.

9.00 House House treats a young married couple whose confusing symptoms may or may not be related.

Meanwhile, a patient in the clinic objects to House’s rude bedside manner and demands an apology. Ha! 10.00 Shark Stark and the team encounter problems when they attempt to prosecute three students accused of gang rape, and Stark realises that he has been neglecting his daughter Julie when she gets suspended from school for plagiarism.

11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation The team investigate a five-year-old’s death by starvation.

12.00am Football Night 1.00 Quiz Call 4.00 Dutch Football 5.10 Football Argentina

6.00am European Tour Weekly 6.30 LIVE Euro Tour Golf 10.30 Big Fight Countdown 11.00 Ford Football Special 12.30pm Total Rugby 1.00 Cricket World Cup 2.00 LIVE Cricket World Cup 7.30 LIVE FA Youth Cup Final 10.00 Guinness Rugby Club 11.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 12.00am FA Youth Cup Final 1.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 1.30 Guinness Rugby Club 3.00 FA Youth Cup Final

6.00 BBC News And Weather 6.30 South East Today; Weather 7.00 Castaway Danny reveals the latest trials and tribulations from the island. Oh! It’s trying!

7.30 EastEnders Stella continues to torment Ben. Phil gets the wrong advice from Kevin and Max. When does anyone get the right advice on EE? When they ignore it.

8.00 Waterloo Road The school’s healthy eating initiative goes out the window when a local gang targets the school selling burgers. Events take a sinister turn when a pupil collapses and is rushed into hospital.

Bad burger – naughty!

9.00 Sea Of Souls Drama series about a fictional parapsychology unit at a university and the team’s endeavours to explain the seemingly inexplicable. Conclusion to Tuesday’s thought-provoking quandary.

10.00 BBC News; Regional News; Weather 10.35 Question Time Topical debate from Liverpool, chaired by David Dimbleby.

11.35 This Week 12.25am Sign Zone: Panorama 12.55 Return To Lullingstone Castle 1.25 Sleep Clinic 1.55 Bill’s Food 2.25 Beat The Bailiff 3.10 Joins BBC News 24 5.00 Cricket World Cup Highlights

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Jack puts his foot down when Diane wants to give Billy a job. You show her who’s man of the farm, Jack.

7.30 Cathedral Cities Hannah ScottJoynt visits the south’s cathedral cities to discover what makes them unique. Being different would do it.

8.00 The Bill Will and Diane are called to a nail bar where the owner’s new equipment has been stolen.

Suspicion falls on a former employee who was sacked and set up on her own. No hiding the gear, then.

9.00 Britain’s Rich List See highlights.

10.30 ITV News; Weather 11.00 Meridian Soccer Night News and action from all the region’s local teams, plus the latest goals and interviews with the players and managers making the headlines.

Presented by Andy Steggall.

11.30 The Way We Were A nostalgic look back in time featuring unseen footage from the south and the memories of local personalities. In this edition: ‘going on a grand day out in an era when a day trip really was a day trip’. What is it now? A week trip? Fred Dinenage narrates.

12.00am ITV Play: Make Your Play 4.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 5.00 ITV Nightscreen

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks An exhausted Nancy considers desperate measures to make sure she takes her exams.

Hiring a hitman for her adjudicator?

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder: Lee Kern’s A To Z... Of How Much A Laugh These Times Are 8.00 A Place In The Sun London couple Harry and Selina Bansal search for a peaceful retreat in France’s rural Champagne region.

8.30 Chaos At The Chateau Fly-onthe-wall series following Essex couple Ann and David Darrell as they leave the UK to set up a new life running a luxury hotel in Slovakia.

9.00 Secret Life See highlights.

10.30 FILM: Jackie Brown (1997) Starring Pam Grier, Samuel L Jackson, Robert De Niro, Michael Keaton, Robert Forster and Bridget Fonda. Crime drama in which a middle-aged air stewardess smuggles cash for a ruthless gun salesman.

When she is arrested, federal officers expect her to talk in return for a light sentence. However, she has other plans. Don’t mess with this lady.

1.20am Rockfeedback 1.50 FILM: The Young Poisoner’s Handbook (1995) 3.45 Angry George Irons 4.00 Unreported World 4.25 Ghetto Britain 5.25 Countdown

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 On The Edge 7.00 Sailing: America’s Cup 8.00 Cricket World Cup 9.00 On The Edge 9.30 Irish Greyhound Racing 10.00 Cricket World Cup 11.00 On The Edge 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Irish Greyhound Racing 12.30 Big Fight Countdown 1.00 LIVE Sailing: America’s Cup 5.00 Big Fight Countdown 5.30 NBA Action 6.00 Guinness Rugby Club 7.30 LIVE Darts: Premier League 11.00 Boots ‘n’ All 12.00am Sailing: America’s Cup 1.00 Darts: Premier League 4.30 Sailing: America’s Cup

Sky Sports 3 7.00am WWE Experience 8.00 Watersports World 9.00 British Rally Championship 9.30 Spanish Cup Football 11.00 British Rally Championship 11.30 Euro Tour Golf 3.30pm British Rally Championship 4.00 Ford Football Special 5.30 WWE Heat 6.30 LIVE Boots ‘n’ All 7.30 LIVE LIVE Cricket World Cup 10.00 WWE Late Night Raw 12.00am Extreme Championship Wrestling 1.00 Netball: Super League 3.00 Race World

Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

3.05pm Brainiac: Science Abuse 4.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 6.00 Stargate Atlantis 7.00 The Simpsons (x4) 9.00 Bones 10.00 Cold Case (x2) 12.00am Brainiac: Science Abuse 1.00 Very Worst... 1.50 Uncut! The Villa 2.40 Battlestar Galactica 3.30 Best Of Buffy 4.20 Star Trek: Voyager (x2)

7.00pm Panic Room 8.00 The Real Hustle 8.30 Rush Hour 9.00 The Bulls*** Detective 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 The Real Hustle 11.00 Conning The Conmen 11.30 Two Pints Of Lager & A Packet Of Crisps (x2) 12.30pm Rush Hour 1.00 The Bulls*** Detective 1.55 Two Pints Of Lager (x2) 2.55 F*** Off I’m Small

7.00pm Sounds Of The Sixties 7.10 The Avengers 8.00 The World 8.30 Once A Soldier 9.00 The Edwardians In Colour 10.00 Frontline Iraq 10.30 Mission Accomplished: Langan In Iraq 12.00am Once A Soldier 12.30 The Edwardians In Colour 1.30 Mission Accomplished: Langan In Iraq

3.40pm The Ricki Lake Show 4.25 Sally Jessy Raphael 5.15 Airline USA 5.45 Judge Judy 7.00 Smallville 8.00 WAGs Boutique 9.00 Katie And Peter: The Next Chapter.

See highlights. 10.00 Deadline 11.00 Supernatural 11.50 Sally Morgan: Star Psychic 12.50am Deadline

3.00pm Cagney And Lacey 4.00 Pie In The Sky 5.05 Quantum Leap 6.05 Rising Damp 6.40 Movies Now 6.50 Lovejoy 8.00 The Two Ronnies 9.00 Blue Murder 10.30 FILM: Jaws 2 (1978) 12.45am Hack 1.40 Hornblower 3.25 Chancer 4.20 Tales Of The Unexpected 4.50 Film File 5.00 Teleshopping

6.05pm Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 The War At Home 7.55 Friends (x2) 9.00 ER 10.00 Sex In Court 10.35 FILM: Extreme Ops (2002) 12.25am Scrubs (x2) 1.20 Smallville: Superman The Early Years 2.15 Porn: A Family Business (x2) 3.10 Sex In Court 3.35 The War At Home 4.00 One Tree Hill 4.40 Switched (x3)

6.05pm Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs Abroad 8.00 More4 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 Grand Designs Revisited 10.00 Grand Designs: Trade Secrets 10.35 Without A Trace 11.35 NYPD Blue 12.35am The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 1.00 Countdown 2.00 Close

7.00pm The X Files 8.00 Kath And Kim 8.30 Campus Ladies 9.00 CSI: Miami 10.00 Boston Legal 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am The X Files 1.00 Boston Legal 2.00 The L Word 3.00 Veronica Mars 3.50 Love Is In The Heir (x2) 4.40 6ixth Sense With Colin Fry (x2) 5.30 Home Shopping

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

7.00pm The Thin Blue Line 7.40 One Foot In The Grave (x2) 9.00 Jim’ll Fix It Strikes Again 9.30 TV Now And Then 10.10 Only Fools And Horses 11.15 Men Behaving Badly (x2) 12.35am Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps 1.15 Columbo 2.55 The House Of Eliott 3.50 Wogan: Now And Then

7.00pm Scrubs (x2) 8.00 That 70s Show (x2) 9.00 Everybody Hates Chris (x2) 10.00 Sex And The City 10.35 South Park (x2) 11.35 Comedy Blue 12.05am Jack Dee Live At The Apollo 1.05 Sex And The City 1.40 South Park 2.10 Badly Dubbed Porn 2.40 Sexy Cam 3.00 Ally McBeal 4.00 Comedy Blue 4.30 South Park

7.00pm Mythbusters 8.00 How Do They Do It? 8.30 How It’s Made 9.00 My Shocking Story 10.00 World’s Lost Tribes 11.00 Extreme Medical Stories 12.00am The FBI Files 1.00 Behind The Crime 2.00 Forensic Detectives 3.00 World’s Lost Tribes 3.50 My Shocking Story 4.40 Deadliest Catch 5.30 How It’s Made

5.00pm Tru Calling 6.00 The Lost World 7.00 Roswell 8.00 Tru Calling 9.00 Stephen King’s Desperation 10.00 FILM: The Sender (1997) 11.50 FILM: Emmanuelle 2000: Intimate Encounters (2000) 1.40am FILM: Dark Waters (2003) 3.30 Psychic Detectives 4.00 Star Trek 5.00 The Lost World

12.05pm The Glenn Miller Story (1954) 2.00 Mr Music (1950) 3.55 The Steel Helmet (1951) 5.25 Lawrence Of Arabia (1962) 9.00 The Glenn Miller Story (1954) 11.00 The Steel Helmet (1951) 12.35am I Want To Live! (1958) 2.40 Guns Of August (1964) 4.30 Mr Music (1950)

5.45pm Indie Close-Up 6.10 Survival Island 7.10 The Beat My Heart Skipped (2005) 9.00 Transamerica (2005) 10.45 House Of Flying Daggers (2004) 12.50am 5 X 2: Cinq Fois Deux (2004) 2.25 Indie Close-Up 2.45 Survival Island 3.40 Action & Thriller Close-Up

1.00pm Carmen Jones (1954) 3.00 Golden Boy (1939) 5.00 The Bravados (1958) 6.50 A Room With A View (1986) 9.00 I, Robot (2004) Will Smith looks dashing and then does some dashing in this futuristic tale of robotic paranoia. 11.10 Dogville (2003)

1.25pm Harum Scarum (1965) 3.00 Bad Day At Black Rock (1955) 4.35 Song Of The Thin Man (1947) 6.20 Ice Station Zebra (1968) 9.00 Pat Garrett And Billy The Kid (1973) 11.15 They Were Expendable (1945) 1.45am The King’s Thief (1955) 3.15 Lost In A Harem (1944) 4.45 Teleshopping

Classics

Indie

056_LS317_Fri_TV

4/12/07

5:29 PM

Page 1

friday 20 Timewatch: The Wave That Destroyed Atlantis BBC2, 9pm Timewatch thoroughly examines the legend of Atlantis, looking at brand-new evidence that suggests Europe’s first great civilisation was destroyed by a watery disaster. Could this be the source of Plato’s version of Atlantis – the fabled city beneath the waves?

Unreported World Channel 4, 7.35pm A look at what impact the demand for Chinese-made goods like MP3 players and laptops has had on Central Africa, where the actual workers involved face pollution, poor working conditions and low wages. Another example of the horrors of globalisation, or a mini economic boom? Channel 4 aims to find out more.

Scrubs E4, 6.00pm Once a massive American hit, the wacky hospital sitcom continues its popular afterlife on British cable. Tonight it’s a flashback to series two as Turk is thwarted at every turn as he desperately tries to propose to Carla. Meanwhile, Elliot threatens Kelso’s plan to extend his office by campaigning for a women’s locker room.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Missing 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.30 Car Booty 12.15pm Cash In The Attic 1.00 BBC News; Weather 1.30 Regional News And Weather 1.40 Neighbours 2.05 All About Me 3.05 Wildlife On One 3.20 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3.25 Lazytown 3.50 The Likeaballs 4.00 Prank Patrol 4.30 The Underdog Show On CBBC 5.00 Totally Doctor Who 5.25 Newsround 5.35 Neighbours

6.00am Fimbles 6.20 The Story Makers 6.35 Balamory 7.00 Arthur 7.15 ChuckleVision 7.30 Get 100 8.00 The Underdog Show On CBBC 8.30 Tommy Zoom 8.40 Numberjacks 9.00 Nina And The Neurons 9.15 Lunar Jim 9.25 Me Too! 9.45 Mama Mirabelle’s Home Movies 10.00 In The Night Garden 10.30 FILM: The Shaggy DA (1976) 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.25 London Marathon 1.55 Escape To The Country 2.55 Through The Keyhole 3.40 Flog It! 4.25 Ready Steady Cook 5.10 The Weakest Link 5.55 Party Election Broadcast 6.00 Eggheads 6.30 Great British Menu 7.00 Wainwright’s Walks Julia is in Britain’s wettest vale, the Borrowdale Valley, to climb to the summit of Castle Crag.

7.30 Christine’s Garden Christine and Reg have decided to enter their tomatoes into a local show, going head to head for the title of Tomato King.

8.00 Gardeners’ World Monty builds a melon frame in the vegetable garden as part of his spring gardening tasks.

9.00 Timewatch: The Wave That Destroyed Atlantis See highlights.

9.50 Stoats Of Kedleston Hall Short documentary about the stoats that live in the grounds of Kedleston Hall in Derbyshire.

10.00 QI Featuring Alan Davies, Sean Lock, Andy Parsons and Clive Anderson tackling the subject of death.

10.30 Newsnight 11.00 Newsnight Review Roundtable arts discussion series with Kirsty Wark.

11.35 Arcade Fire: Culture Show Special Including exclusive concert footage from the cult rock act.

12.05am FILM: Lawn Dogs (1997) Bizarre American suburban indie drama starring Sam Rockwell.

1.40 Star Trek (x2) 3.20 Malcolm In The Middle

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 2.00 Midsomer Murders 4.00 Daily Cooks 5.00 The Royal

6.10am Inuk 6.25 The Hoobs (x2) 7.15 Freshly Squeezed 7.45 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.15 Just Shoot Me (x2) 9.10 Frasier 9.40 Will And Grace 10.10 ER (x2) 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 FILM: Hombre (1967) 2.30 Life Begins Again 3.30 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The New Paul O’Grady Show

6.00 Meridian Tonight Local news magazine. Including Meridian weather.

6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather The latest national and international news.

7.00 Emmerdale Northern soap action. Carl warns Chas to let go of her jealousy of Carrie while Rita rescues Paddy.

7.30 Coronation Street Jason takes drastic action to teach Eileen a lesson.

8.00 Car Wars: Tonight Morland Sanders investigates how stolen cars are increasingly being shipped abroad by international criminals and sold on at a huge profit, tracing the trade from the UK to its centre in Dubai.

8.30 Midsomer Murders tongue in cheek ‘tec drama. When a solicitor falls from a roof to his death, Barnaby and Scott investigate whether it was suicide or murder.

10.30 ITV News; Weather The latest national and international news, plus national weather.

Including local news programmes.

11.00 WAGs Boutique The girls face their penultimate challenge - but will they have what it takes for the final push?

12.00am ITV Play: Make Your Play ITV’s interactive game show with big prizes to be won by lucky viewers.

4.10 60 Minute Makeover 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.00 The Simpsons Homer comes across a con artist.

6.30 Hollyoaks Warren wants to know why Justin is talking to Calvin while Louise tries to find out where Sean has gone.

7.00 Channel 4 News Including sport and weather.

7.35 Unreported World See highlights.

8.00 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away Nottingham newlyweds Tony and Clare McGorisk want a dream holiday home before their first baby is born.

9.00 Ugly Betty The masked woman’s announcement leaves Mode in chaos, and the Meades at each other’s throats.

10.00 Derren Brown: Trick Or Treat This week, an IT consultant has his controlled lifestyle upended by being given a split personality.

10.30 Peep Show Mark panics when he is asked to give a presentation at the annual JLB conference.

11.05 Peter Kay’s Phoenix Nights 11.40 Transmission With T-Mobile With Kasabian and Just Jack.

12.45am 4 Music: 4Music In Session: Damien Rice 1.15 4 Music: The Maccabees 1.30 Dogs Mercury 1.55 Goalissimo!

2.55 KOTV 3.20 Trans World Sport 4.10 Wild Things

6.00am The Save-Ums! 6.10 Fifi 6.25 Franny’s Feet 6.40 The Clangers 6.45 Funky Town 6.50 The Milkshake!

Show 7.20 The Beeps 7.30 Little Princess 7.45 Noddy 8.00 Fifi 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.40 Old Bear Stories 8.50 Mio Mao 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 Five News 12.00pm Home And Away 12.30 The C.H.A.O.S. Clinic 1.00 HouseBusters 1.30 Russell Grant’s Postcards 1.40 FILM: Dr Quinn: The Heart Within (2001) 3.30 Five News Update 3.35 FILM: Mermaid (2000) 5.30 Five News 6.00 Home And Away Kelli’s manipulation leads to a surprise engagement. Belle finally admits her true feelings for Drew – but is it too late? Cassie is shaken when Macca reveals his controlling streak again.

6.30 Two And A Half Men Charlie writes the theme song for a new cartoon based on one of Jake’s favourite comics.

7.00 Five News National and international news.

7.30 Mean Machines A look at the world’s most innovative trains.

8.00 Super Cats Documentary studying some of the world’s most dangerous cats, focusing on lions and tigers.

9.00 NCIS The severed head of a marine is found hidden in the boot of a car, triggering a search for the rest of the body and the man’s killer.

10.00 Law And Order: Criminal Intent When a promising chef mysteriously disappears following the murder of a restaurant critic, Detectives Goren and Eames probe the uneasy relationship between the missing man’s wife and his father-in-law.

11.00 Three In A Bed: Hidden Lives A gruesome look at threesomes in South Wales.

12.00am Prison Break Michael and Lincoln are back on the run.

1.00 Quiz Call 5.35 Wildlife SOS

6.00am FIFA Futbol Mundial 6.30 LIVE Euro Tour Golf 10.30 Cricket World Cup 11.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 12.00pm FA Youth Cup Final 1.00 Cricket World Cup 2.00 LIVE Cricket World Cup.coverage from the Super Eights stage of the 2007 Cricket World Cup, in which the top two teams from each group compete in a league system for a place in the semi-finals. 11.00 Soccer AM’s All Sports Show 12.00am Premier League Preview 12.30 Football League 2.00 Friday Fight Night 4.00 Soccer AM’s All Sports Show 5.00 Premier League Preview 5.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial

6.00 BBC News And Weather The latest news and weather.

6.30 South East Today; Weather Regional news magazine.

7.00 A Question Of Sport Sports quiz hosted by Sue Barker with regular captains Ally McCoist and Matt Dawson.

7.30 Inside Out Surprising real-life stories from around the country.

8.00 EastEnders Carly tries to stop Deano spiralling out of control. Phil unwittingly condones Stella’s treatment of Ben. 8.30 My Family Susan wants to renew her wedding vows with Ben. 9.00 Have I Got News For You Comedy quiz show.

9.30 Ruddy Hell! It’s Harry And Paul 10.00 BBC News; Regional News; Weather 10.35 Friday Night With Jonathan Ross A mix of music and celebrity chat with Jonathan Ross. Guests include actress Patsy Kensit plus artists Gilbert and George.

11.35 Cricket World Cup Highlights Highlights of the Antipodean clash of the tournament as New Zealand and Australia meet for the first time since the Kiwis’ whitewash two months’ ago.

12.35am FILM: Jet Li’s The Enforcer (1995) 2.20 BBC News 24 5.00 Cricket World Cup

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 On The Edge 7.00 Sailing: America’s Cup 8.00 Cricket World Cup 9.00 On The Edge 9.30 Darts: Premier League 1.00pm Euro Tour Golf 5.00 Premier League Preview 5.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 6.00 Soccer AM’s All Sports Show 7.00 Premier League Preview 7.30 LIVE Football League.overage of the Championship clash between Derby County and Luton Town at Pride Park. 10.00 LIVE Friday Fight Night 12.00am Golf Night 2.00 Soccer AM’s All Sports Show 3.00 Football League 4.30 Trans World Sport 5.30 Gillette World Sport

Sky Sports 3 7.00am WWE Raw 9.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 9.30 FA Youth Cup Final 10.30 On The Edge 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm On The Edge 12.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 1.00 Netball: Super League 3.00 Guinness Rugby Club 4.30 NBA Action 5.00 WWE: Raw 7.00 Rally World 7.30 LIVE Super League 10.00 WWE Late Night Smackdown 12.00am WWE Late Night Bottom Line 1.00 Fishing: Bass Fishing 2.00 Max Power 3.00 Super League 4.30 Rally World 5.00 Fishing: Bass Fishing

Matt Chittock

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

6.00pm Stargate Atlantis 7.00 The Simpsons (x3) 8.30 Crash Test Dummies 9.00 FILM: Flashdance (1983) 10.45 Cold Case 11.45 Brainiac: Science Abuse 12.45am Toughest Villages In Britain 1.40 Uncut! The Villa 2.35 Battlestar Galactica 3.30 Best Of Buffy 4.20 Star Trek: Voyager 5.10 Zoids (x2)

7.00pm Castaway 8.00 Freaky Eaters: Addicted To Cheese 9.00 Doctor Who 9.45 Doctor Who Confidential 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Two Pints Of Lager & A Packet Of Crisps (x2) 11.35 Jonathan Ross’s Japanorama 12.05am Ideal 12.35 Family Guy (x2) 1.20 Two Pints Of Lager (x2) 2.15 Castaway

7.00pm 10 Best Bernstein 8.00 The World 8.30 In Concert: Oscar Peterson 9.00 Originals: Dinah Washington 10.00 The BBC One Sessions 10.50 Never Mind The Full Stops 11.20 The Avengers 12.10am Originals: Dinah Washington 1.15 Never Mind The Full Stops 1.45 10 Best Bernstein

3.40pm The Ricki Lake Show 4.25 Sally Jessy Raphael 5.15 Airline USA 5.45 Judge Judy 7.00 Smallville 8.00 Airline 8.30 American Idol (x2) 10.30 Sally Morgan: Star Psychic 11.30 Katie And Peter: The Next Chapter 12.30am Coronation Street 1.00 ITV Play: Make Your Play 4.00 Teleshopping

4.05pm Pie In The Sky 5.10 Quantum Leap 6.10 Rising Damp 6.40 Film File 6.50 Lovejoy 8.00 Pie In The Sky 9.00 FILM: Jaws 2 (1978) 11.15 Tales Of The Unexpected (x2) 12.25am Lovejoy 1.35 The Ruth Rendell Mysteries: The Double 2.35 Chancer 3.30 Tales Of The Unexpected 4.00 Teleshopping

3.25pm Smallville: Superman The Early Years 4.25 Hollyoaks 4.55 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) See highlights 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 The War At Home 7.55 Friends (x2) 9.00 Wife Swap 10.00 Wife Swap: The Aftermath 10.35 Kidnapped 1.05am Scrubs (x2) 2.00 Kidnapped 4.00 Smallville

4.00pm FILM: Victim (1961) 5.50 3 Minute Wonder (x3) 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs Abroad 8.00 More4 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 Without A Trace 10.00 The Closer 11.00 Chopped Off: The Man Who Lost His Penis 12.00am NYPD Blue 12.55 Countdown

6.00pm America’s Next Top Model 7.00 The X Files 8.00 Close To Home 9.00 Criminal Minds 10.00 CSI: Miami 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am The X Files 1.00 Criminal Minds 2.00 The L Word 3.00 Veronica Mars 3.50 Wacky Weddings 4.40 6ixth Sense With Colin Fry (x2) 5.30 Home Shopping

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

7.00pm The Thin Blue Line 7.40 One Foot In The Grave (x2) 9.00 The Vicar Of Dibley (x2) 10.20 EuroMillions: Boom Bang A Bang 10.30 FILM: The Jackal (1997) 12.55am FILM: Muriel’s Wedding (1994) 2.50 The House Of Eliott 3.45 Wogan: Now And Then 4.35 The House Of Eliott 5.30 Icons 5.35 Neighbours

7.00pm Scrubs (x2) 8.00 That 70s Show (x2) 9.00 South Park (x5) 11.30 Comedy Blue 12.00am Jack Dee Live At The Apollo 1.00 Badly Dubbed Porn 1.30 Sexy Cam 2.00 Comedy Blue 2.30 Ally McBeal 3.30 Linc’s 4.00 South Park (x2) 5.00 Sir Leslie Quint: A Life In Film (x2) 5.10 That 70s Show (x2)

7.00pm Mythbusters 8.00 How Do They Do It? 8.30 How It’s Made 9.00 Mythbusters 10.00 How Do They Do It? (x2) 11.00 True Crime Scene 12.00am The FBI Files 1.00 Most Evil 2.00 Forensic Detectives 3.00 How Do They Do It? (x2) 3.50 Mythbusters 4.40 Deadliest Catch 5.30 How It’s Made

3.00pm FILM: Avalanche (1994) 5.00 Tru Calling 6.00 The Lost World 7.00 Roswell 8.00 Tru Calling 9.00 FILM: Universal Soldier II: Brothers In Arms (1998) 10.50 FILM: Universal Soldier III: Unfinished Business (1998) 12.40am Heroes 1.40 FILM: Post Impact (2004) 4.00 Star Trek 5.00 The Lost World

12.50pm The Professionals (1966) 2.50 Sunset Boulevard (1950) 4.50 All About Eve (1950) 7.10 Pal Joey (1957) 9.00 Anzio (1968) 11.00 The Professionals (1966) 1.00am The Comedy Of Terrors (1964) 2.35 A King In New York (1957) 4.30 City Lights (1931)

12.00pm Rice Rhapsody (2004) 1.50 Sideways (2004) 4.00 Tube Tales (1999) 5.35 Indie Close-Up 6.00 China’s Hollywood 7.00 Rice Rhapsody (2004) 9.00 Sideways (2004) 11.10 Tube Tales (1999) 12.50am The Star Maker (1995) 2.50 China’s Hollywood

1.00pm Cattle Empire (1958) 2.35 Jassy (1947) 4.35 Mr Smith Goes To Washington (1939) 7.05 Memoirs Of An Invisible Man (1992) Forgettable farce with Chevy Chase.

9.00 Vanilla Sky (2001) With Tom Cruise. 11.35 Kung Fu Hustle (2004) 1.25am Martin Lawrence Live: Runteldat

1.10pm Uncertain Glory (1944) 3.00 Mr Skeffington (1944) 5.20 Where Were You When The Lights Went Out? (1968) 7.05 End Of The Affair (1954) 9.00 Arthur (1981) 10.50 Zabriskie Point (1969) 1.10am Our Mother’s House (1967) 3.10 The Thin Man (1934) 4.45 Teleshopping

Classics

Indie

057_LS317_TVSat

4/13/07

12:18 PM

Page 1

saturday 21 Superstorm BBC2, 6pm The Beeb presents a dramatic peek into the near future where the advent of global warming has led to ferocious hurricanes whipping their way around the globe. This episode looks at the further adventures of a group of photogenic scientists as they investigate ways to divert and weaken storms.

Face Of Britain Channel 4, 8pm Archaeologist Neil Oliver (left) reveals and explores the fascinating results of a landmark DNA study into the genetics of the British population, discovering who our ancestors really were. Tonight Neil heads to East Anglia and the North East in search of the natives’ AngloSaxon and Viking heritage.

Medical Mavericks BBC4, 7pm The slightly icky show that looks at the darker side of medical pioneers investigates the story of 18th-century surgeon John Hunter. So keen was Hunter to prove that syphilis and gonorrhea were two stages of the same disease that he stabbed himself in the groin with the pus of an infected patient. Yoinks!

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 10.00 Saturday Kitchen 11.30 Great British Menu 12.00pm BBC News; Weather 12.10 Football Focus 1.00 World Championship Snooker 4.30 Final Score 5.10 BBC News; Regional News; Weather 5.25 All New Just For Laughs 5.55 The National Lottery People’s Quiz

6.00am Teletubbies 6.30 Balamory 6.50 Step Inside 7.00 Batfink 7.10 Arthur 7.35 The Underdog Show On CBBC 8.00 Watch My Chops 8.15 Mona The Vampire 8.35 The Story Of Tracy Beaker 9.00 Hider In The House 10.00 The Underdog Show On CBBC 10.30 Totally Doctor Who 11.00 The Story Of Tracy Beaker 11.30 The Fairly Odd Parents 11.45 Sportsround 12.00pm See Hear 1.00 Animal Park 2.00 FILM: The Inn Of The Sixth Happiness (1958) 4.35 World Championship Snooker 5.35 Meerkat Manor 6.00 Superstorm See highlights.

7.00 World Championship Snooker Action from the World Championship at the Crucible Theatre in Sheffield.

8.30 Porridge Classic comedy series about the inmates of Slade Prison, where Ronnie Barker’s habitual offender Norman Stanley Fletcher dispenses pearls of wisdom to a literally captive audience, including naive young first-timer Lennie Godber who shares his cell.

9.00 FILM: House Of Sand And Fog (2003) Award-winning drama in which a woman finds her home repossessed and sold to an Iranian political refugee who is eager to start a new life for his family.

11.00 Have I Got A Little Bit More News For You Adrian Chiles is the guest host.

11.45 The Apprentice Sugar sets the teams the task of manufacturing sweets to sell at London Zoo, and their target market is the toughest consumers in the world - parents and children.

12.45am World Championship Snooker Hazel Irvine introduces highlights from the evening’s matches, as Graeme Dott aims to beat the ‘Crucible Curse’ in the semi-finals.

1.35 World Championship Snooker – Extra 3.35 FILM: Scream Of Fear (1961)

6.00am GMTV 9.25 Horrid Henry 9.40 Grizzly Tales For Gruesome Kids 9.55 Tricky Quickies 10.00 Art Attack 10.20 The Amazing Adrenalini Brothers 10.30 Jungle Run 11.00 King Arthur’s Disasters 11.30 Drake And Josh 12.00pm Saturday Cooks 1.30 ITV News; Weather 1.35 Meridian News And Weather 1.40 American Idol 2.40 Planet’s Funniest Animals 3.05 FILM: Smokey And The Bandit (1977) 4.50 Meridian News And Weather 5.05 ITV News; Sports Results; Weather 5.20 New You’ve Been Framed!

6.10am The Hoobs (x2) 7.00 Goalissimo! 8.00 The Morning Line 8.55 Friends 9.20 Musicool 10.25 Popworld 11.20 High School Dance 12.20pm Shipwrecked 2007: The Hut Cam Diaries 12.55 Shipwrecked 2007: Battle Of The Islands 2.00 Channel 4 Racing From Newbury And Ayr 4.10 Location, Location, Location 4.35 Deal Or No Deal Classic 5.30 Monarchy By David Starkey

6.00am Sunrise 6.55 Franklin 7.25 Mist: Sheepdog Tales 7.35 Little Princess 7.45 Make Way For Noddy 7.55 Say It With Noddy 8.00 Harry And His Bucket Full Of Dinosaurs (x2) 8.30 The Book Of Pooh 9.00 Ebb And Flo 9.05 Peppa Pig 9.15 Fifi And The Flowertots 9.30 Jane And The Dragon 10.00 The Gadget Show 10.55 World’s Strongest Man 11.55 Man Eaters: Big Cats 12.55pm FILM: Three Violent People (1957) 2.40 FILM: The Assassination Bureau (1969) 4.50 FILM: Time At The Top (1998)

6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Premier League Preview 7.00 Soccer AM’s All Sports Show 8.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 8.30 Premier League Preview 9.00 Soccer AM 12.00pm Gillette Soccer Saturday 5.00 Ford Football Special 7.30 European Rugby Special 8.25 Football First: Game Of The Day 10.15 Football First: Match Choice (x5) 5.45 Sky Sports Classics

6.20 Vernon Kay’s Gameshow Marathon With Ben Shephard through to the quarter-finals, the Marathon continues for the other celebrity contestants.

7.25 Grease Is The Word David Gest, David Ian, Sinitta and Brian Friedman open the doors to Grease Bootcamp for the remaining Dannys and Sandys, who must face three gruelling days of training lives.

9.00 Who Wants To Be A Millionaire Chris Tarrant presents the fast-paced gameshow where ten contestants compete for a place in the hot seat and the chance to walk away with the top prize of one million pounds.

10.00 The Dame Edna Treatment Spa Edna is open for business again as another host of big names join Dame Edna in her exclusive resort to de-stress, unwind and undergo The Dame Edna Treatment. Tonight’s guests include Ian McShane, Susan Sarandon, and Kimberly Stewart.

11.00 ITV News; Weather The latest national and international news, plus national weather.

11.15 FILM: Coming To America (1988) Comedy about an African prince who travels to America.

1.20am ITV Play: Make Your Play Catch ITV’s interactive game show.

3.50 Don’t Move, Improve (x2) 5.00 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.35 Channel 4 News Including sport and weather plus a round-up of today’s stories.

7.00 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls Former Special Forces adventurer Bear Grylls demonstrates how to survive in the world’s most extreme environments.

8.00 Face Of Britain See highlights.

9.00 FILM: Swordfish (2001) Stylish and fast-paced action thriller about a computer hacker who is persuaded by a suave master spy to help steal billions of dollars from an illegal government fund. Stars John Travolta in one of his slightly less plump action roles.

10.50 FILM: Wayne’s World (1992) Cult comedy about the misadventures of two small-town heavy metal fans, who broadcast their own cable television show from a basement.

They get picked up by a corporate backer, but soon become disenchanted. Includes a breakthrough role from Mike Myers.

12.30am PartyPoker.com Poker Nations Cup Late-night poker action.

Players from Great Britain, the United States, Denmark, Sweden, Holland and Germany compete for the first prize of $100,000. Can Britain retain the title won last year?

1.35 FILM: The Rounders (1965) 3.35 FILM: Confessions Of A Trickbaby (1999) 5.25 Countdown

6.35 Doctor Who The Doctor finds his oldest enemies at work on top of the Empire State Building when he and Martha travel to 1930s New York.

7.25 Any Dream Will Do Graham Norton presents Andrew Lloyd Webber’s search for a new leading man for Joseph and the Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat.

8.35 Casualty Charlie is concerned when Guppy’s adulation of Stitch risks the life of a young boy. Selena learns the identity of her baby’s father. Jeff encourages Dixie to talk about her feelings for Cyd. 9.25 The National Lottery People’s Quiz Jamie Theakston, Kate Garraway, Myleene Klass and William G Stewart continue their countrywide search for the UK’s best quizzer.

9.50 Any Dream Will Do 10.15 BBC News; Weather BBC News; Weather.

10.30 Match Of The Day Gary Lineker presents highlights of eight Premiership games.

11.55 Cricket World Cup Highlights West Indies meet England in Barbados.

12.55am Friday Night With Jonathan Ross Guests include actress Patsy Kensit and artists Gilbert and George.

2.00 BBC News 24 5.00 Cricket World Cup Highlights

6.40 FILM: Over The Top (1987) Starring Sylvester Stallone, Robert Loggia, Susan Blakely, Rick Zumwalt, David Mendenhall and Chris McCarty.

Action drama in which a truck driver with a lucrative sideline in arm-wrestling takes his estranged 12-year-old son on the road after the boy’s mother falls seriously ill.

8.15 Five News And Sport The latest national and international headlines.

8.30 NCIS The team is called to investigate a marine’s wife, who has killed an intruder who tried to rape her. However, all is not as it first seems and the team are quickly led to sordid internet chat rooms and the possibility that a serial rapist is on the loose.

9.25 CSI:NY When Mac and Stella investigate the shooting of a deaf woman, the truth about Lindsay’s traumatic past comes to light. Danny takes on the case of a murdered figure skater, and wonders if the victim was really the killer’s target. Mac attempts to make peace with Peyton.

10.25 Law And Order 11.25 Grey’s Anatomy A face from Derek and Addison’s past arrives in Seattle to shake things up.

Medical drama.

12.25am Grey’s Anatomy 1.25 Quiz Call 5.35 Wildlife SOS

Sky Sports 2 6.00am On The Edge 6.30 LIVE Euro Tour Golf 10.30 Rally World 11.00 Super League 12.30pm LIVE Tennis: ATP Masters 2.00 LIVE Cricket World Cup. coverage from the Super Eights stage of the 2007 Cricket World Cup, as the West Indies face England. 8.00 LIVE Cricket World Cup 11.00 Motor Racing: Indy Car Series 1.00am Spanish Football 3.00 Golf Night 5.00 Gillette World Sport 5.30 British Formula Ford Championship

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Sports Unlimited 7.00 Football League 8.30 LIVE Rugby Union: Super 14 (x2) 12.30pm LIVE European Rugby: Heineken Challenge Cup 2.30 LIVE European Rugby 5.00 Max Power 6.00 LIVE Super League 8.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly 9.00 LIVE Cage Rage 11.00 Extreme Championship Wrestling 12.00am WWE Smackdown 2.00 Cage Rage 4.00 WWE The Bottom Line 5.00 European Rugby Special

Matt Chittock

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

3.00pm Relic Hunter 4.00 The Dog Whisperer (x2) 5.00 Malcolm In The Middle (x4) 7.00 Futurama (x2) 8.00 Cold Case 9.00 Bones 10.00 24 11.00 Nip/Tuck 12.00am Street Wars 1.00 Naked In Blackpool 2.00 Brainiac: Science Abuse 2.55 Red Light Girls 3.50 Star Trek: The Next Generation (x2)

7.00pm The Real Hustle 7.15 TV Gaffes Galore 7.25 Doctor Who Confidential 8.05 Top Gear 9.05 Little Britain 9.35 FILM: The Ring (2002) 11.20 Two Pints Of Lager & A Packet Of Crisps (x2) 12.20am Ideal 12.50 Rush Hour 1.20 The Real Hustle 1.50 Two Pints Of Lager (x2) 2.45 Ideal 3.15 Rush Hour

7.00pm Medical Mavericks.

See highlights. 8.00 The Rebel Physician: Nicholas Culpeper’s Fight 9.00 Backhander: The Poulson Affair 10.00 FILM: Brothers (2004) 11.50 Medical Mavericks 12.50am The Rebel Physician: Nicholas Culpeper’s Fight 1.50 Backhander: The Poulson Affair

4.35pm Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? 5.35 Planet’s Funniest Animals 6.00 Smallville (x2) 8.00 Weather From Hell 9.00 Greased Lightnin’ 10.00 FILM: Sister Act (1992) 12.05am Grease Is The Word 1.40 Greased Lightnin’ 2.40 ITV Play: Make Your Play 3.40 Emmerdale Omnibus

10.30am Only When I Laugh (x2) 11.30 Rising Damp (x2) 12.30pm Jeeves And Wooster (x2) 2.40 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 4.50 Pie In The Sky 5.50 Goodnight Sweetheart 6.30 Kavanagh QC 8.00 Inspector Morse 10.10 Taggart 12.15am The Bill (x2) 2.15 The Cosby Mysteries 3.05 Mapp And Lucia 4.00 Teleshopping

6.00pm The Simple Life: Interns (x2) 6.55 Wife Swap 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 TV Adverts’ Greatest Hits 11.10 One Tree Hill 12.10am Transmission With T-Mobile 1.10 TV Adverts’ Greatest Hits 3.10 One Tree Hill 3.55 Pussycat Dolls Present: The Search For The Next Pussycat Doll 4.35 Switched (x3)

9.30am A Place In The Sun 10.00 Time Team (x3) 12.55pm Grand Designs (x2) 3.05 Grand Designs Revisited 4.10 Grand Designs Abroad (x2) 6.25 Snowmail 6.30 FILM: Apache (1954) 8.05 Ten Days That Made The Queen 9.45 Ghosts 11.45 The Closer 12.45am Grand Designs Abroad

7.00pm America’s Next Top Model 8.00 The X Files 9.00 Most Haunted 10.00 Hotel Babylon 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am Most Haunted 1.00 Outrageous Fortune 2.00 The L Word 3.00 FILM: Staying Alive (1983) 4.40 6ixth Sense With Colin Fry (X2) 5.30 Home Shopping

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

6.35pm My Family (x3) 8.30 Jim’ll Fix It Strikes Again 9.00 Jonathan Creek 10.15 FILM: Muriel’s Wedding (1994) 12.20am Jonathan Creek 1.35 Have I Got 2002 For You 2.10 The House Of Eliott 3.05 Wogan: Now And Then 3.55 Icons 4.00 The House Of Eliott 4.55 Icons 5.00 Starstruck Classics 5.05 The House Of Eliott

7.00pm Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 8.00 Everybody Hates Chris (x2) 9.00 South Park (x2) 10.05 FILM: The Golden Child (1986) 11.50 Badly Dubbed Porn 12.20am Naked And Funny 12.50 Sexy Cam (x2) 1.30 Ally McBeal (x2) 3.30 Linc’s 4.00 Less Than Perfect (x2) 5.00 Sir Leslie Quint: A Life In Film (x2)

7.00pm Pleasure Seekers Of The Ancient World 8.00 Oil, Sweat And Rigs 9.00 True Crime Scene 10.00 My Shocking Story 11.00 The FBI Files 12.00am The FBI Files 1.00 Code Of Silence 2.00 Forensic Detectives 3.00 My Shocking Story 3.50 True Crime Scene 4.40 How Do They Do It? 5.30 How It’s Made

6.00am Robot Wars (x2) 8.00 Teleshopping 11.00 Psychic Detectives 11.30 Star Trek (x5) 4.40 FILM: Hercules In New York (1970) 6.30 FILM: The Fifth Element (1997) 9.00 FILM: Fight Club (1999) 11.40 Heroes 12.40am Erotic Misadventures Of The Invisible Man 2.10 FILM: The Sender (1997)

1.05pm People Will Talk (1951) 3.05 The Odessa File (1974) 5.20 Fantastic Voyage (1966) 7.00 People Will Talk (1951) 9.00 Hellfighters (1969) 11.00 The Odessa File (1974) 1.10am Tales Of Terror (1962) 2.40 Song Of Norway (1970) 5.05 The Great Dictator (1940)

2.10pm The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou (2004) 4.10 Lords Of Dogtown (2005) 6.00 Mission To Mir 6.45 The Edukators (2004) 9.00 Lords Of Dogtown (2005) 10.50 The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou (2004) 12.50am Love, Etc (1996) 2.40 Action & Thriller Close-Up

1.00pm His Majesty O’Keefe (1953) 2.50 The Man In The Iron Mask (1977) Literary adaptation.

5.00 Texas (1941) 6.45 Always (1989) 9.00 The Core (2003) 11.35 Predator 2 (1990) Alien creature feature. 1.40am Assault On Precinct 13 (1976) Classic sci-fi action adventure from John Carpenter.

3.00pm The Honeymoon Machine (1961) 4.40 The Glass Bottom Boat (1966) 6.50 Les Girls (1957) 9.00 The Outlaw Josey Wales (1976) 11.25 Pennies From Heaven (1981) 1.25am Operation Crossbow (1965) 3.35 The Golden Arrow (1936) 4.45 Teleshopping 5.00 Wonderful World Of The Brothers Grimm (1962)

Classics

Indie

058_LS317_TVSun

4/13/07

12:21 PM

Page 1

sunday 22 Autumnwatch Special: Seal Diary BBC2, 9pm Prepare for bucketfuls of cute as cameraman Gordon Buchanan’s trip to witness spectacular scenes at Europe’s largest seal colony gets an extended rerun.

Chuckle as sweet newborn seal pups are looked after by their mums and thrill to the sight of males having a scrap.

This is David Gest ITV1, 10.15pm After his ‘success’ in the Australian jungle David Gest has been installed in a London penthouse at the behest of ITV, along with a TV crew for company. Along for the ride are his ever-present minder Imad and a smattering of celeb friends.

Tonight Davey boy meets Beyoncé and rethinks his hair.

F*** Off I’m a Hairy Woman BBC3, 9pm This charmingly titled documentary looks at a very prickly issue: women’s body hair.

Comedian Shazia Mirza is, by her own admission, a very hairy lady.

Over a period of six months she shuns her shaver in a scientific experiment to see if she can learn to love her hair and even convince the world to love it too.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 7.05 Match Of The Day 8.30 London Marathon 2007 2.00pm The Politics Show 3.00 Wildlife On One 3.15 EastEnders 5.10 Shaun The Sheep 5.20 Points Of View 5.35 Songs Of Praise

6.00am Teletubbies 6.30 Balamory 6.50 Step Inside 7.00 Batfink 7.10 Legend Of The Dragon 7.30 Smile 10.00 Something For The Weekend 11.30 Animal Park 12.30pm Moto GP 2007: Istanbul 2.00 World Championship Snooker

6.00am GMTV 9.25 Mr Bean: The Animated Series 9.35 Feodor 9.45 Curious George 9.55 Pocoyo 10.05 Jim Jam And Sunny 10.20 Jim Jam And Sunny 10.30 The Championship 11.30 The Sunday Edition With Andrew Rawnsley And Andrea Catherwood 12.30pm Meridian News And Weather 12.35 American Idol 1.35 Planet’s Funniest Animals 2.05 Grease Is The Word 3.40 FILM: King Ralph (1991) 5.30 Steve Irwin Special: Crikey! What An Adventure

6.10am The Hoobs (x2) 7.00 Trans World Sport 8.00 Velux 5 Oceans Ultimate Solo Challenge 8.30 New Shoots: Films From Disabled Directors 9.00 Popworld 9.45 Hollyoaks Omnibus 12.15pm Shipwrecked 2007: The Hut Cam Diaries 12.50 Musicool 1.55 Pussycat Dolls Present: The Search For The Next Pussycat Doll 2.55 The OC 3.55 Ugly Betty 4.55 Deal Or No Deal 5.40 Scrapheap Challenge

6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Football First: Match Choice (x2) 9.30 Jimmy Hill’s Sunday Supplement 10.30 Goals On Sunday 12.00pm LIVE Football League. Championship match between Wolverhampton Wanderers and Birmingham City at Molineux, kick-off 12.00pm. 2.30 Jimmy Hill’s Sunday Supplement 3.30 Ford Super Sunday 6.15 Super Sunday: The Last Word 6.45 Football League Review 7.45 LIVE Spanish Football 10.00 Ford Football Special 11.30 Super Sunday: The Last Word 12.00am Football League Review 1.00 Spanish Football

6.10 Antiques Roadshow A second visit to Lacock Abbey in Wiltshire for Michael Aspel and the team.

7.00 Castaway Danny drops in on the castaways’ camp to deliver another predicament.

7.35 BBC News; Weather The latest news.

8.00 Play It Again MP Diane Abbott travels to Jamaica to rediscover her family’s musical roots as she learns to play the piano from scratch.

9.00 Superstorm Futuristic drama series which follows a team of scientists as they investigate ways of diverting and weakening storms.

10.00 BBC News; Weather 10.15 Extras Sitcom starring Ricky Gervais with celebrity chums in tow.

10.45 3lbs US medical drama. When a troubled teenager crashes on his motorcycle he starts an emotional war between his severe mother and goth girlfriend.

11.25 FILM: The Breakfast Club (1985) Teen-angst comedy drama about five school kids - an athlete, a spoiled rich kid, a brainy nerd, an introverted loner and a rebellious punk - who are brought together on a day-long detention. 80s classic from director John Hughes.

1.05am Sign Zone: Holby City 2.05 Sign Zone: Antiques Roadshow 2.55 Orangutan Diary 3.25 Animal 24:7 4.10 Joins BBC News 24

6.10 London Marathon Jonathan Edwards presents the highlights from the 27th Flora London Marathon, in which 35,000 runners set out to tackle the world famous course from Greenwich Park to the Mall.

7.00 World Championship Snooker Ray Stubbs, Steve Davis and John Parrott introduce live action from the World Championship at the Crucible Theatre in Sheffield.

8.00 Best Of Top Gear Classic clips from the archives including ‘the car that won’t die’.

9.00 Autumnwatch Special: Seal Diary See highlights.

9.50 Ravens Return Natural history programme examining ravens in their original habitat.

10.00 The Science Of Superstorms The second of three films exploring the science behind weather modification.

10.30 Match Of The Day 2 Adrian Chiles presents highlights of two Barclays Premiership matches.

Chelsea face an awkward trip to Newcastle, where they were beaten 11.15 Graham Norton Uncut Extended version of the one shown last Thursday.

12.05am Roman’s Empire Comedy series following a dysfunctional family..

12.35 World Championship Snooker 1.25 World Championship Snooker – Extra

6.30 Meridian News And Weather Latest regional news and weather.

6.45 ITV News; Weather The latest national and international news, plus national weather.

7.00 Emmerdale David and Katie are spotted whilst in the throes of passion.

7.30 Coronation Street David’s tricks humiliate Gail on her birthday while Eileen and Jason are still at war over Holly.

8.00 The Royal A mix-up over job offers at the Royal means someone ends up disappointed.

9.00 Kingdom New drama. Peter Kingdom’s brother has disappeared, his clothes were found on the local beach but no body has been discovered.

10.00 ITV News; Weather 10.15 This Is David Gest See highlights.

11.00 The South Bank Show Featuring Chilean novelist Isabel Allende who was exiled from her homeland following the 1973 coup which toppled her uncle, President Salvador Allende, and brought General Augusto Pinochet to power.

12.05am The Moral Of The Story 12.30 Faith And Music 1.25 Dunlop British Touring Cars 1.50 ITV Play: Glitterball 4.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 5.00 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.40 Shipwrecked 2007: Battle Of The Islands Reality show. New arrival Francesca settles into Shark Island and the 20-year-old student is an instant hit with Stevie, whose behaviour does not go unnoticed by girlfriend Amy. 7.40 Channel 4 News Including sport and weather.

8.00 Wife Swap A former stripper whose life revolves around her pole dancing club trades her family with a child-centred mother who homeschools her nine-year-old daughter.

9.00 Superskinny Me: The Race To Size Double Zero Two journalists take part in a radical weight loss experiment to expose the physical and mental health dangers involved in extreme dieting.

10.00 FILM: Gangs Of New York (2002) Starring Daniel Day-Lewis, Leonardo DiCaprio and Cameron Diaz.

In a city riven with corruption and tribal warfare, a young man returns from a stay in reform school to the Five Points area, seeking to avenge his father’s murder.

1.00am 4 Music: 4Play: Mika 1.30 4 Music: Rockfeedback 2.00 The Crippendales 2.30 Soft Short 2.50 Boyz To Men 3.50 Chrono-Perambulator 4.00 Private Lives Of The Pharaohs 5.00 The Mummy Road Show Carlin, 5.30 Countdown

6.00am The Save-Ums! 6.10 Fifi 6.25 Franny’s Feet 6.35 Sailor Sid 6.40 The Clangers 6.50 Franklin 7.20 Mist: Sheepdog Tales 7.30 Little Princess 7.40 Noddy 7.50 Say It With Noddy 8.00 Bucket Full Of Dinosaurs (x2) 8.30 Pooh 9.00 Ebb And Flo 9.05 Peppa Pig 9.10 Fifi 9.25 Jane And The Dragon 10.00 Property Developing Abroad 11.00 New Life In The Country 12.00pm Holiday House Guest 1.05 Divine Designs 1.35 News 1.40 FILM: Under Ten Flags (1960) 3.30 FILM: A Civil Action (1998) 5.35 News And Sport 5.50 FILM: Toys (1992) 8.00 Grey’s Anatomy Medical drama following Meredith Grey and her fellow first year interns as they try to cope with the demands of life both inside and outside the hectic hospital.

Bailey instructs an unenthusiastic Cristina to look after her baby. Derek and Addison come to terms with their relationship. Denny continues to be an obstacle for Alex.

9.00 Grey’s Anatomy A series of deaths at the hospital brings out the superstitious side of the doctors and makes Izzie nervous about Denny’s surgery. Darek and Addison discuss living arrangements. Richard treats a very special, old friend.

10.00 Greatest Ever Romantic Movies Giles Coren presents a celebration of 40 of the finest love stories ever committed to celluloid, as voted for in an exclusive poll of Five’s viewers and readers of The Times newspaper. He is joined by an array of famous faces who have been exclusively interviewed for the programme, including Omar Sharif, Olympia Dukakis, Molly Ringwald, Miriam Margolyes and Martine McCutcheon.

12.40am Major League Baseball Baseball from the USA with a game featuring one of the great rivalries in sport - the Boston Red Sox and the New York Yankees.

4.00 Major League Soccer 5.10 A1 Grand Prix

Sky Sports 2 6.00am On The Edge 6.30 LIVE Euro Tour Golf 10.30 Cricket World Cup 11.30 Gillette World Sport 12.00pm Snowboarding 12.30 LIVE European Rugby: Heineken Challenge Cup 2.30 LIVE European Rugby 5.00 Seamaster Sailing 5.30 Motor Racing: Indy Car Series 7.30 Golf Night 10.00 Sailing: America’s Cup 11.00 European Rugby Special 1.00am Golf Night

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Watersports World 7.00 Cricket World Cup 8.00 Sailing: America’s Cup 9.00 WWE Afterburn 10.00 WWE Heat 11.00 Wild Spirits 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Seamaster Sailing 12.30 LIVE Sailing: America’s Cup 5.00 WWE Experience 6.00 Watersports World 7.00 European Rugby Special 9.00 WWE Experience 10.00 WWE Late Night Afterburn 11.00 WWE Heat 12.00am Sailing: America’s Cup 1.00 Seamaster Sailing 1.30 Watersports World 2.30 Sailing: America’s Cup

Matt Chittock

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

12.00pm Robot Wars Extreme 1.00 Stargate Atlantis (x2) 3.00 Relic Hunter 4.00 The Simpsons (x8) 8.00 Dream Team 9.00 24 10.00 Lost 11.00 Rescue Me 12.00am The Dresden Files 1.00 Battlestar Galactica 1.50 Very Worst... 2.40 Star Trek: The Next Generation (x2) 4.20 Best Of Angel

7.00pm Help! My Dog’s As Fat As Me 7.35 Castaway Exposed 8.00 Doctor Who 8.45 Doctor Who Confidential 9.00 F*** Off I’m A Hairy Woman. See highlights. 10.00 The Panic Room 10.55 Two Pints Of Lager & A Packet Of Crisps 11.25 Two Pints 12.00am Rush Hour 12.30 F*** Off I’m A Hairy Woman

7.00pm Val Doonican Rocks 8.00 The Lost World Of Mitchell And Kenyon 9.00 Shopping For England 10.00 FILM: The Winslow Boy (1999) 11.40 Val Doonican Rocks 12.40am Shopping For England 1.40 10 Best Bernstein.

Countdown. 2.40 Val Doonican Rocks 3.40 Shopping For England

1.35pm FILM: Sister Act (1992) 3.35 Coronation Street Omnibus 6.00 Vernon Kay’s Gameshow Marathon 7.00 American Idol (x2) 9.00 Supernatural 10.00 Coronation Street 10.30 FILM: Bridget Jones: The Edge Of Reason (2004) 12.35am Deadline 1.35 Deadline 2.35 ITV Play: Glitterball 4.00 Teleshopping

10.10am The Adventures Of Sherlock Holmes (x2) 12.20pm Kavanagh QC 1.55 Inspector Morse 4.00 Dunlop British Touring Cars 5.30 Jane Austen’s Emma 8.00 Inside The Actors Studio 10.00 FILM: Dog Day Afternoon (1975) 12.25am The Vice 1.30 A Woman’s Guide To Adultery 2.30 Chancer 3.30 Film File

7.00pm Friends (x2) 8.00 Ugly Betty 9.00 Wife Swap: The Aftermath 9.30 ER 10.30 Desperate Housewives 11.30 Porn: A Family Business (x2) 12.40pm Wife Swap: The Aftermath 1.10 One Tree Hill 2.05 Young, Sexy And...

Busted 2.45 Shipwrecked 2007: Battle Of The Islands 3.45 Popworld

4.15pm FILM: Where Angels Go Trouble Follows (1968) 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 6.55 The Worst Jobs In History 8.00 The West Wing 9.00 The River Cottage Treatment 10.00 Cutting Edge: Meet The Foxes 11.05 Father Ted (x2) 12.10am Rod Hull: A Bird In The Hand 1.15 A Place In The Sun

7.00pm The Real Extras 8.00 Extreme Makeover 9.00 CSI: Miami 10.00 Criminal Minds 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am Most Haunted 1.00 The Real Extras 2.00 The L Word 3.00 The Father Dowling Mysteries 3.50 I Married A Princess (x2) 4.40 6ixth Sense With Colin Fry (x2) 5.30 Home Shopping

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

7.00pm The Thin Blue Line 7.40 Dinnerladies 8.20 Open All Hours 9.00 Dalziel And Pascoe 11.00 Only Fools And Horses 12.30am Dalziel And Pascoe 2.20 Have I Got 2002 For You 2.50 Alistair McGowan’s Big Impression 3.00 The House Of Eliott (x2) 4.50 Icons 4.55 Starstruck Classics 5.00 Sitcom Showdown 5.35 Neighbours

7.00pm Less Than Perfect (x2) 8.00 Scrubs (x2) 9.00 South Park (x2) 10.00 Al Murray: Giving It Both Barrels 11.30 Al Murray: A Glass Of White Wine For The Lady 12.55am Edinburgh And Beyond 1.55 Badly Dubbed Porn 2.25 Sexy Cam (x2) 3.00 South Park 3.30 Linc’s 4.00 Ally McBeal

7.00pm Engineering The World Rally 8.00 Big Machines 9.00 Lobstermen: Jeopardy At Sea 10.00 World’s Lost Tribes 11.00 Mythbusters 12.00am The FBI Files 1.00 Poisonous Women 2.00 Forensic Detectives 3.00 World’s Lost Tribes 3.50 Lobstermen: Jeopardy At Sea 4.40 How Do They Do It?

12.50pm FILM: Lightning: Bolts Of Destruction (2003) 2.40 FILM: Tornado Warning (2002) 4.35 FILM: Storm (1999) 6.30 FILM: Waterworld (1995) 9.00 Medium 10.00 Heroes 11.00 Stephen King’s Desperation 12.00am FILM: Waterworld (1995) 2.30 Heroes 3.30 Psychic Detectives 4.00 The Outer Limits (x2)

12.55pm The Ipcress File (1965) 2.45 A Day’s Pleasure (1919) 3.15 The Party (1968) 4.55 Clambake (1967) 6.40 Romeo And Juliet (1968) 9.00 The Ipcress File (1965) 11.00 The Party (1968) 12.40am A Lovely Way To Die (1968) 2.40 DOA (1950) 4.15 The Mark Of Zorro (1940)

12.00pm King Of The Hill (1993) 1.50 The Sea Inside (2004) 4.00 Garden State (2004) 5.50 Blue Planet 6.50 Action & Thriller Close-Up 7.10 King Of The Hill (1993) 9.00 The Sea Inside (2004) 11.10 Garden State (2004) 1.10am 5 X 2: Cinq Fois Deux (2004) 3.00 Blue Planet 4.00 Close

1.00pm The Wicked Lady (1945) 3.00 The Bravados (1958) 5.00 Prince Valiant (1954) 6.55 Made In America (1993) 9.00 The Day After Tomorrow (2004) Eco-disaster drama which apparently wasn’t a hit with George Bush.

11.20 Cypher (2002) 1.05am Strange Days (1995) futuristic sci-fi.

1.15pm On The Town (1949) 3.00 Ride The High Country (1962) 4.45 Lovely To Look At (1952) 6.45 Arsenic And Old Lace (1944) 9.00 Amores Perros (2001) 11.55 Destination Tokyo (1943) 2.20am The Strip (1951) 3.55 No Guts, No Glory: 75 Years Of Stars 4.45 Teleshopping 5.00 The Barretts Of Wimpole Street (1956)

Classics

Indie

059_LS317_TVMon

4/13/07

12:23 PM

Page 1

monday 23 Mission Africa BBC1, 7pm The reality show continues as 15 trainees attempt to build a game reserve for Kenya in just six weeks. Tonight the team only have a few hours left and, as Samburu tribespeople look on, it looks like they might make it. But they haven’t taken into account Nick’s dodgy shoulder, which looks like it might break again…

Panorama BBC1, 8.30pm Can you really trust your favourite TV shows? That’s the question that the public have been faced with following the recent scandal about broadcasters’ use of premium-rate phone lines. All well and good – but with ad revenues falling how will the ailing commercial sector fund shows in the future?

Jonathan Ross’s Japanorama BBC3, 11pm Wossy continues his surprisingly insightful look at Japanese trash culture by meeting the Gyaru (roughly translated as ‘feisty young women’). The image of Japanese women as submissive geisha girls may be all-prevailing, but the programme investigates how the younger generation are beating the stereotypes.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

Channel 4

ITV1

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Missing 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.30 Car Booty 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News; Weather 1.30 Regional News And Weather 1.40 Neighbours 2.05 Doctors 2.35 Diagnosis Murder 3.20 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3.25 Lazytown 3.50 The Likeaballs 4.00 Prank Patrol 4.30 Extreme Animals 5.00 Beat The Boss 5.30 Newsround 5.35 Neighbours

6.00am CBeebies 7.00 CBBC 10.30 Pathways Of Belief 10.50 Pathways Of Belief 11.15 Hands Up! 11.30 Hands Up! 11.45 Hands Up! 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Watch 1.15 Something Special 1.30 World Championship Snooker 5.55 Party Election Broadcast

6.15am The Treacle People 6.25 The Hoobs (x2) 7.15 Freshly Squeezed 7.45 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.15 Just Shoot Me (x2) 9.10 Frasier 9.40 Will And Grace 10.10 ER (x2) 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 FILM: The League Of Gentlemen (1960) 2.30 Life Begins Again 3.30 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The Paul O’Grady Show

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 2.00 Midsomer Murders 4.00 Daily Cooks 5.00 The Royal

6.00am Football League Review 7.00 WWE The Bottom Line 8.00 Ford Football Special 9.30 Super Sunday: The Last Word 10.00 Football League Review 11.00 Ford Football Special 12.30pm Super Sunday: The Last Word 1.00 Spanish Football 3.00 Ford Football Special 4.30 Super Sunday: The Last Word 5.00 Football League Review 6.00 PFA Awards 2007 7.30 LIVE Football League 10.00 PFA Awards 2007 11.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 12.30am Football League 2.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 3.00 PFA Awards 2007

6.00 BBC News And Weather The latest news and weather.

6.30 South East Today; Weather Regional news magazine.

7.00 Mission Africa See highlights.

7.30 Super Vets Frodo the dog is rushed into intensive care, but what’s caused his sudden collapse?

8.00 EastEnders Jim is unhappy about Dot’s plans to introduce Tomas to the family.

8.30 Panorama See highlights.

9.00 New Tricks The discovery of an armoured security van involved in the disappearance of one person and the unsolved murder of another provides the impetus for the team to look into the case again.

10.00 BBC News; Regional News; Weather 10.35 FILM: Good Will Hunting (1997) Poignant story of a troubled young genius who finds his allegiance to his friends and bluecollar background challenged by new opportunities.

12.40am Sign Zone: Louis Theroux: The Most Hated Family In America Louis Theroux struggles to come to terms with the infamous Phelps family from Topeka, Kansas.

1.40 Timewatch: The Wave That Destroyed Atlantis 2.30 It’s Not Easy Being Green 3.00 Orangutan Diary (x2) 4.00 Animal 24:7 4.45 Joins BBC News 24

6.00 Eggheads Dermot Murnaghan hosts a general knowledge quiz in which teams from all over the UK battle to beat the formidable Eggheads, quiz champions including millionaire winner Judith Keppel.

6.30 Great British Menu Richard Corrigan is defiantly defending his title against new boy Noel McMeel in this battle to represent Northern Ireland in the national finals.

7.00 World Championship Snooker The World Championship at the Crucible Theatre in Sheffield.

8.00 Johnny Kingdom: A Year On Exmoor The Exmoor pony is one of England’s rarest breeds and this week Johnny is busy filming the pony round up.

8.30 Return To Lullingstone Castle Autumn at the castle, and Tom faces the colossal and risky annual task of uprooting his most exotic plants to bring them into the shelter of the polytunnel.

9.00 Hair Wars Documentary by Morgan Matthews following two stories of competition hairdressers.

10.00 Ruddy Hell! It’s Harry And Paul Harry Enfield and Paul Whitehouse star in a sketch show.

10.30 Newsnight 11.20 World Championship Snooker 12.10am World Championship Snooker – Extra 2.00 Ma France 1-4

6.00 The Simpsons Bart decides, following an inspirational speech from Marge, to do his bit for the community and discover who has stolen the town’s lemon tree.

6.30 Hollyoaks Zoe wants to end her relationship with Will.

7.00 Channel 4 News Including sport and weather.

7.55 3 Minute Wonder Short film about a journey down the road which separates Bengal from Bangladesh.

8.00 Dispatches Journalist Ziauddin Sardar examines how divisions between the military and the mullahs has created a political conflict within Pakistan.

9.00 Cutting Edge: Killer Road Poignant documentary about the A46 in Lincolnshire, one Britain’s most dangerous roads.

10.00 ER 11.05 The Sopranos Tony is tempted by a real estate offer.

12.10am Sex And The City When Carrie runs into Mr Big’s seemingly perfect partner, she wonders if there are women in the city who live for the sole purpose of making other women feel bad about themselves.

12.45 Sex And The City 1.20 Six Feet Under 2.20 4 Music: Transmission With T-Mobile S 3.20 3 Minute Wonder: Busker Symphony 3.30 The Last Slave

6.00 Meridian Tonight Local news magazine.

Including Meridian weather.

6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather The latest national and international news.

7.00 Emmerdale Lisa becomes suspicious when Zak stays at work late. David is keen to keep his night with Katie a secret from Del. And Paul is surprised when Sharon turns up.

7.30 Coronation Street Paul’s desire to restore normality to Underworld arouses suspicion among the workers.

8.00 Tonight With Trevor McDonald Headline-making investigations and exclusive interviews, with Trevor McDonald and the Tonight team.

8.30 Coronation Street Factory workers probe the Connors about Kasia’s death.

9.00 Diamond Geezer Des plays Robin Hood.

10.30 ITV News; Weather 11.00 The Dame Edna Treatment Spa Edna is open for business again as another host of big names join Dame Edna.

12.00am UEFA Champions League Weekly Clare Tomlinson and Trevor Harris look ahead to the Champions League semi-final.

12.30 ITV Play: Glitterball 4.05 ITV At Reading 2005

6.00am The Save-Ums! 6.10 Fifi 6.25 Franny’s Feet 6.35 Clangers 6.45 Funky Town 6.50 The Milkshake! Show 7.20 Miss Spider’s Sunny Patch Friends 7.30 Little Princess 7.45 Noddy 8.00 Say It With Noddy 8.05 Fifi 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas 8.40 Old Bear Stories 8.50 Mio Mao 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 Five News 12.00pm Home And Away 12.30 The C.H.A.O.S. Clinic 1.00 HouseBusters 1.30 FILM: Krippendorf’s Tribe (1998) 3.20 News 3.25 FILM: Perry Mason: The Case Of The Notorious Nun (1986) 5.30 News 6.00 Home And Away Amanda and Peter are desperate to protect their secret. Martha is still unaware of Ash’s deceit. Peter has some distressing news for Ric. 6.30 Two And A Half Men American sitcom about a well-off bachelor whose life is disrupted when his brother and young nephew move in with him. Charlie is surprised to learn why a woman rejected his overtures.

7.00 Five News National and international news.

7.15 Rich Boys’ Toys What toy would you buy if you had unlimited wealth?

8.00 Ice Storm: Perfect Disaster Documentary series, combining dramatisations, special effects and scientific testimony.

9.00 Raised By The Hand Of God: Hidden Lives This edition looks at three families in the UK and US whose ideas on the upbringing and disciplining of their children are directly informed by the Bible.

10.00 Prison Break Michael and Lincoln attempt to expose the company by sending a video to the local news.

11.00 FILM: Good Guys Wear Black (1979) Action thriller.

12.50am USPGA 1.40 NASCAR Nextel Cup 2.30 NHL Ice Hockey 5.10 French Football

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 On The Edge 7.00 Sailing: America’s Cup 8.00 Seamaster Sailing 8.30 European Rugby Special 10.30 Golf Night 1.00pm European Rugby Special 3.00 Fishing: Bass Fishing 4.00 Golf Night 6.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 7.30 LIVE Speedway: Elite League 9.30 Wild Spirits 10.00 British Rally Championship 11.00 World Motor Sport 1.30am Speedway: Elite League 3.30 British Rally Championship

Sky Sports 3 8.30am Tennis: ATP Masters 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Indy Car Racing 2.00 On The Edge 2.30 Tennis: ATP Masters 5.00 WWE Raw 7.00 Seamaster Sailing 7.30 Wild Spirits 8.00 NBA Basketball 10.00 WWE Late Night Bottom Line 11.00 WWE Late Night Afterburn 12.00am Extreme Championship Wrestling 1.00 WWE Heat 2.00 WWE Late Night Raw

Matt Chittock

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

4.00pm Stargate SG-1 (x2) 6.00 Stargate Atlantis 7.00 The Simpsons (x4) 9.00 Back Inside Britain’s Fattest Man 10.00 FILM: Flashdance (1983) 11.45 Cold Case 12.45am Naked In Blackpool 1.45 Las Vegas 2.40 Stargate Atlantis 3.30 So You Think You’re Safe?

4.20 Uncut! The Villa 5.10 Star Trek: Voyager

7.00pm Castaway 7.30 Spendaholics 8.30 Dog Borstal Unleashed 9.00 Little Britain 9.30 Ideal 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Rush Hour 11.00 Jonathan Ross’s Japanorama. See highlights.

11.30 Two Pints Of Lager & A Packet Of Crisps (x2) 12.30 American Dad (x2) 1.15 Rush Hour 1.45 Jonathan Ross’s Japanorama 2.15 Castaway

7.00pm Meetings With Remarkable Trees 7.10 An Awfully Big Adventure 8.00 The World 8.30 The Phoenix And The Carpet 9.00 The Real Mr Pooter 10.00 Smiley’s People 11.00 Middle Classes: Their Rise And Sprawl 11.50 The Real Mr Pooter 12.50am The Edwardians In Colour:

1.30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.40 The Ricki Lake Show 4.25 Sally Jessy Raphael 5.10 Airline USA 5.40 Judge Judy 6.25 Grease Is The Word 8.00 Greased Lightnin’ 9.00 FILM: Bridget Jones: The Edge Of Reason (2004) 11.10 Coronation Street (x2) 12.10am FILM: 8 Mile (2002) 2.20 ITV Play: Glitterball 4.00 Teleshopping

2.35pm Tales Of The Unexpected 3.05 Cagney And Lacey 4.05 Pie In The Sky 5.05 Quantum Leap 6.05 Rising Damp 6.40 Film File 6.50 Lovejoy 8.00 The Bill: Exit Wound 9.00 Numb3rs 10.00 Rose And Maloney 11.00 Bad Girls 12.05am Mapp And Lucia 1.10 Hornblower 3.00 Chancer 3.50 Film File

7.00pm Hollyoaks 7.30 The War At Home 7.55 Friends (x2) 9.00 FILM: Nutty Professor II: The Klumps (2000) 11.00 The 7 Stupidest Things To Escape From 12.00am Scrubs (x2) 1.05 FILM: Nutty Professor II: The Klumps (2000) 3.00 Smallville: Superman The Early Years 3.45 One Tree Hill 4.25 Switched (x4)

4.00pm FILM: The Law And Jake Wade (1958) 5.35 A Place In The Sun 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs Abroad 8.00 More4 News 8.30 The Daily Show Global Edition 9.00 Relocation, Relocation 10.00 Looking For England 11.05 NYPD Blue 12.05am The Daily Show Global Edition 12.35 Countdown

7.00pm The X Files 8.00 Top Chef 9.00 America’s Next Top Model 10.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (x2) 12.00am The X Files 1.00 America’s Next Top Model 2.00 The L Word 3.00 The Father Dowling Mysteries 3.50 I Married A Princess (x2) 4.40 The Jerry Springer Show (x2) 5.30 Home Shopping

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

7.00pm New Tricks 8.00 New Tricks 9.00 Only Fools And Horses 10.30 One Foot In The Grave 11.10 Men Behaving Badly 11.50 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps 12.30am One Foot In The Grave 1.10 Room 101 1.45 Room 101 2.20 Have I Got 2002 For You 2.50 The House Of Eliott (x3) 5.35 Neighbours

7.00pm Scrubs (x2) 8.00 That 70s Show (x2) 9.00 Stacked (x2) 10.00 Sex And The City 10.35 South Park (x2) 11.35 Comedy Blue 12.05am Jack Dee Live At The Apollo 1.05 Sex And The City 1.40 South Park 2.10 Comedy Blue 2.40 South Park 3.10 Badly Dubbed Porn 3.40 Sexy Cam 4.00 Stacked (x2)

7.00pm Mythbusters 8.00 How Do They Do It? 8.30 How It’s Made 9.00 American Chopper 10.00 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls 11.00 Salvage Squad 12.00am The FBI Files 1.00 Psychic Witness 2.00 Forensic Detectives 3.00 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls 3.50 American Chopper 4.40 Deadliest Catch

1.00pm Star Trek 2.00 The Lost World 3.00 FILM: Knight Rider 2000 (1991) 5.00 Tru Calling 6.00 The Lost World 7.00 Roswell 8.00 Tru Calling 9.00 Medium 10.00 Heroes 11.00 FILM: Judgement Day (1999) 12.50am FILM: Veronica 2030 (2000) 2.25 FILM: Ed Gein (2001) 4.00 Star Trek 5.00 The Lost World

1.25pm The Barbarian And The Geisha (1958) 3.15 City Lights (1931) 4.45 A Farewell To Arms (1957) 7.20 Bus Stop (1956) 9.00 Support Your Local Sheriff!

(1969) 10.35 The Barbarian And The Geisha (1958) 12.25am A Taste Of Honey (1961) 2.10 Irma La Douce (1963) 4.35 Limelight (1952)

12.00pm We Don’t Live Here Anymore (2004) 2.00 Bombon, El Perro (2004) 4.00 The Holy Girl (2004) 5.50 The Dream Is Alive 6.35 Indie Close-Up 7.00 The Eighth Day (1996) 9.00 Fade To Black (2004) 11.00 Bang (1994) 12.40am We Don’t Live Here Anymore (2004) 2.20 Bombon, El Perro (2004)

1.00pm Carmen Jones (1954) 3.00 The Mark Of Zorro (1974) 4.25 The Man From Colorado (1948) 6.20 Howards End (1992) 9.00 Solaris (2002) Solid remake of the arty sci-fi original.

10.45 The Proposition (2005) Violent Australian Western from Nick Cave.

12.45am The Newton Boys (1998)

11.00pm Ivanhoe (1952) 1.00pm Dinner At Eight (1933) 3.00 Catlow (1971) 4.50 Boom Town (1940) 7.05 Dodge City (1939) 9.00 Where Eagles Dare (1968) 11.50 Shoot The Moon (1982) 2.05am The Red Badge Of Courage (1951) 3.20 Captain Sindbad (1963) 4.45 Teleshopping 5.00 Across The Pacific (1942)

Classics

Indie