Latest 7 Issue 318: 24-30 April 2007

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4/20/07

10:42 AM

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Cars The weekly listings and TV guide 24–30 April 2007 FREE

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highly paid professional positions letting staff lynda paine see page 48

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4/18/07

1:45 PM

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4/20/07

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latest 7 5 Cars

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09 Dare and do!

contents

Boldly go where you’ve never been before: Artists Open Houses

24 Latest hot list

The high-performance BMW M3 Coupé

25 Recipe

Raw entertainment and fishy business

7 What Katie says

Stir-fried noodles with wild mushrooms

26 Cinema

A new found respect for a supermodel

8 Eminemmylou

Local screenings listed and reviewed

28 Music

Disenfranchised with Morgan Nichols

8 Dani’s diary

Babyshambles, Deep Purple and more

30 Radio Reverb

Is there such a thing as Mr Perfect?

8 Backlash

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Connecting people by the forces of radio

30 Foxy Mamma Malone

Has Burlesque become too routine?

9 Fashion

Her animal instincts are not good ones

31 Nightlife

Mellow yellow and natural colours to keep it cool for summer

Upcoming club nights and late bars

32 Gay 10 Celebcity

The Pink Paradiso Cabaret returns

Brighton love stories – awww!

33 Brighton Festival 11 Competitions

Opera at the Dome and a global review

Don’t miss out on Miss Potter and more

34 Theatre 11 Crossword

Who’s treading the boards this month?

Test your knowledge in cryptic or quick

35 Events and kids 13 Cover feature

Your Big Sussex Weekend arrives

Stunning jewellery for the wedding season from Brighton’s Jeremy Hoye

36 Art Transforming discarded objects

14 Bare cheek 37 Latest listings

The coffee or tea debate

The hottest tickets for the week ahead

14 Stars Find your compatible sign in the stars

38 Reviews Casting a critical eye over recent shows

15 Stand-up comedy Victoria Nangle tackles London

39 Day-by-day guide Our complete guide to local events

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15 Marc the vet Show you care for National Pet Month

45 Venue directory Our guide to local venues

19 Beauty A testing time for hair products

46 Local elections

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The upcoming city council elections

21 Health Keep it natural inside and out

48 Latest jobs Top jobs and business news

23 Food The Open House pub cooks up a barbecue, plus fresh local produce

50 Latest TV Complete television listings guide

01273 818150 Editor Bill Smith Business Director Angi Mariani Advertising Director Lynne Edwards Creative Director Andrew Kay Production Director Fiona McTernan Finance Manager Sharon Caple Art Director Stephen King Production Manager Neil Ive Advertising Manager Kate Knight Website Manager Paul Burgess

Production Editor Victoria Nangle

Music Editor Jeff Hemmings

Production Assistant Zara Friend

Staff Writers Matt Chittock Craig Driver Katie Glass Miranda Glavin

Chief Sub-editor Wendy McAngus Senior Sub-editor Philippa Smith Sub-editors Ashley Bird Hayley Carmichael Joe Curtin Billy Imrie Colette Meacher Designers Anand Day Peter Knight Jamie Powell Steve Sawyer

Advertising Sales Rhoda Barker Emma Burton Administration Heather Holland Claire Peerless Stefan Reszczynski Latest Homes Unit 1, Level 5 North New England House New England Street Brighton BN1 4GH

Editorial: editorial@thelatest.co.uk Advertising: lynne@thelatest.co.uk

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Knock knock!

Who’s there?

The population of Brighton and Hove and miles around.

Yes, it’s that special nosy time of year, when you’ll soon be able to cross the thresholds of nearly 200 houses to look at all the cool art on the walls and floors. To help you get the most of the 14 trails plus independent houses, follow these handy tips.

1 Pick up a copy of the special Artists Open Houses brochure with details of all the art on offer in the houses, listing all the venues and maps.

2 Check out the fantastic website at www.aoh.org.uk, offering a great space for artists to showcase their work.

3 Look out for the May issue of Latest Art, hitting the streets on 1 May, a great magazine gallery for art in the festival.

4 Put on some comfy shoes and get walking, clutching an artistic cheque book or cashfilled purse.

5 Browse to taste!

Our top tips are Vanishing… Jay Collins’s paintings of Kemp Town’s vanishing townscape at Eastern Terrace Mews in Brighton (house 13, Kemptown Artists), and ‘Ooh Mr Darcy’ in Rochester Street (house 4, Kemptown Artists), an eclectic and charming collection of original paintings, sketches, photographs, cards, jewellery, scupltures, textiles and mixed media work by a selection of artists.

But don’t take our word for it, there are around 1,000 artists presenting their works, and we know that gems can be found in any and each of the houses and it all comes down to your taste, and your willingness to be charmed and challenged.

And once you’ve explored all the best art Brighton, Hove and beyond has to offer, be daring and take the opportunity to book a Festival Fringe ticket for something you know nothing about!

A great way to explore events is by booking something that’s unusual for you. There is so much going on that you won’t always have time to wait for the review or a recommendation from a friend, so take a chance and try a new genre.

Go see some dance, get involved with literature or do a workshop… You never know it may become your new bag, and if it doesn’t, at least it doesn’t cost as much as the new bags nowadays!

Our top tip is Brighton’s great singer and harp player, Magdalena Reising, appearing in a number of guises over the festival. There’s a harp and flute recital on 5, 6, 7 May; Two Golden Harps on 19 May; cabaret with Mandy and the Magdalenas on 11, 18, 25 May and jazz in From Hollywood to Brighton on 24 May. For more details text 07786 405221.

Go on book something now – we dare you!

Image: Jay Collins

6 Social diary

Our top restaurants, cafés and bars

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CARS

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CARS

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Pocket rocket

Simon Asphar looks at the latest generation of BMW’s compact with supercar performance: the M3 Coupé BMW UK has announced details of the new BMW M3 Coupé, a model that 21 years ago created an entirely new segment for superhigh-performance compact cars. In the past two decades and three previous generations, the M3 has proved a success on road and track. Originally powered by BMW’s first 16 valve four cylinder engine and subsequently by 3.0 litre and 3.2 litre powerplants, BMW M3 engines took top category honours on a record six successive occasions at the International Engine of the Year Awards.

Racing derivatives have also won more touring car titles than any other car as well as numerous endurance races.

With DNA connecting the new M3’s engine to that of the BMW Sauber F1 Team, the racing link is maintained in the fourth generation M3. The new M3 Coupé engine develops 420hp at 8,300rpm and 400Nm of torque at 3,900rpm from its 3,999cc V8 power unit, and red lines at 8,400rpm. To highlight the flexibility of the engine, 85 per cent of torque is available from 6,500rpm.

Power is transferred to the road by BMW M’s six-speed manual gearbox and variable M differential which conveys up to 100 per cent of available power to the wheel with most grip. Like its predecessor, the new V8powered BMW M3 easily breaks through the magical 100hp per litre barrier, offering 105hp per litre. This engine powers the car from zero to 62mph in 4.8 seconds and on to a limited top speed of 155mph. However, these supercar levels of performance do not compromise economy, with the car still delivering 22.8mpg on the combined cycle, being an eight per cent improvement over the outgoing car.

This relatively frugal economy is delivered, in part, thanks to BMW’s EfficientDynamics programme. Far from only influencing the smaller-engined cars in the range, EfficientDynamics offers benefits to one of the most sporting cars offered by BMW, courtesy of Brake Energy Regeneration. This technology uses an Intelligent Alternator Control and Absorbent Glass Mat battery to recognise when the engine is on over-run and activates the alternator to charge the battery with what would previously have been wasted energy.

“The engine powers the car from 0–62 in 4.8 seconds and on to a limited 155mph” Another facet of BMW’s EfficientDynamics programme is lightweight technology. The previous generation M3 CSL showed how carbon fibre could be used by BMW in limitedvolume production cars. The new M3 Coupé is the first full production car in its class to feature a carbon fibre reinforced plastic roof panel with exposed weave. In isolation, the carbon fibre roof panel saves 5kg over a conventional roof panel, but it also lowers the centre of gravity to contribute to the M3’s benchmark driving dynamics.

Like the larger BMW M5 and M6 models, the new M3 Coupé also features an MDrive button that brings together numerous personalised functions of the car. The settings for the optional Electronic Damper Control (normal, comfort and sport), three DSC+ traction control settings and three specific

engine control maps, plus the response rate of the Servotronic power steering can be controlled with one button on the steering wheel. Once the desired settings are created in the iDrive menu, part of the standard Professional navigation system, one push of the MDrive button transforms the M3 from a car to drive to the shops to a track day special.

While the new BMW M3 Coupé shares many design cues and components with the standard 3 Series Coupé model, only the doors, bootlid, windows and front/rear lamps are carried over. However, a number of subtle performance enhancements combine to deliver an unmistakably sporting outline. A striking powerdome and two air intakes in the aluminium bonnet cover the new V8 engine and help engine cooling. Primarily, the design of the front of the car is created by the need for significant volumes of air for the induction system. As a result, three large air ducts in the front lower valance keep the engine breathing.

In profile, the new M3 Coupé features 18inch double-spoke light-alloy wheels as standard, with a striking 19-inch wheel available as an option. Another BMW M trait, a side gill in the front wing, also includes the side direction indicator and the M3 logo. Such is the performance of the new car, even the exterior door mirrors enhance the aerodynamic characteristics of the car and provide a degree of downforce. From the rear, an aerodynamically efficient diffuser emphasises BMW M’s trademark twin double exhaust pipes protruding from beneath the valance. Start saving – you’ve got until September before this little German package of good things is available.

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4/19/07

11:45 AM

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LATESTDIARY Muriel Brown (Bardsley’s), Roy Brown (Bardsley’s), Andrew Kay (Latest Homes) and Neil Brown (Bardsley’s)

latestdiary With Tim Richardson

Raw talent on display I was kindly invited by the lovely Vicky Nangle (stand-up comedienne) to pop to the Joogleberry to see what RAW was all about on Tuesday 10 April. It’s a combination of music, comedy and innovative spoken word, the likes of which I’d never experience before. All of this, in one evening, at the same venue - who could ask for more? RAW is compered by the Brighton To London Poet and is a superb platform for up-and-coming performers of all genres to try out new material. If you’ve still got the energy and you’re looking for late-night shenanigans during the Fringe, then there’s going to be Late Night RAWs, starting at 11pm on 9, 16 and 23 May. Check it out.

Bernadette Cremin (poet)

Phil Dukes (comedian)

Vicky Nangle (comedienne)

Maddie Bridgett, The Brighton To London Poet (host)

For the love of cod On Monday 16 April, Bardsley’s fish and chips gurus Roy and Muriel Brown – and their son Neil – celebrated with family, friends and guests as Latest Homes’ Andrew Kay cut the ribbon that officially opened the latest expansion to the restaurant area. Bardsley’s, on Baker Street, continues to receive rave reviews in and around the city, with one recent assessment reading: “Without a doubt, by far the best fish you can eat anywhere in Brighton”. The ribbon had hardly even touched the floor by the time Roy, Muriel, Neil and some able helpers were dishing up platefuls of the the main reason for the restaurant’s 81 years of success.

Geoff Pope, Peggy Brown and Chris Ryan

Doug Edmonds and Muriel Brown (Bardsley’s)

Vet’s the way to do it Up-and-coming celebrity vet Marc Abraham – a regular on The Paul O’Grady Show and a Latest7 columnist – won the Petplan Special Recognition Award at the 8th Petplan Veterinary Awards. Marc beat other celebrity vets such as the well-known Bruce Fogle and Scandinavian Trude Mostue for the title of Britain’s favourite celebrity vet. Marc’s volunteering and charity work balances his more high profile television career, which has brought him global recognition, as he is due to guest star on a Hollywood TV show in May. Mark says: “As TV vets we are lucky to be in a position where we can change people’s attitudes towards animals, encouraging responsible pet ownership and improving the lives of our four-legged friends. I’m just glad to be playing a small part in all this.”

Muriel Brown (Bardsley’s) and Andrew Kay (Latest Homes) 6 latest 7

If you have an event you would like featured please email editorial@thelatest.co.uk

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4/18/07

11:07 AM

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KATIE’S COLUMN

What Katie says Katie senses that the question of race has never really gone away…

Back to black My favourite moment of the last few weeks was watching Naomi Campbell strut – a shiny metallic wonder – into the New York sunshine and the surging flashes of the paparazzi, after her stint of community service at the Department of Sanitation.

I’d never really cared for Campbell before, but as she posed for pictures, having completed her week of humiliation, in all her glistening glory – an $8,000 D&G dress and a priceless grin – she was a shimmering triumph of feminine magnificence.

And how proud they seemed, to have reduced a black woman to her knees, scrubbing toilets.

As if they had achieved something to be proud of; when all they’d really done was re-assert years of inequality and degradation.

It’s disingenuous to pretend that Naomi’s colour and sex do not have some bearing on the humiliation involved in her punishment. Rather, they are exactly what made it so poignant.

Certainly, watching the whining, spoilt, suit-faced Boy George harrumphing through a

sweeping shift didn’t prompt me to such sympathy. How could it?

It was the only interesting thing he’s done in years.

But the thought of noble Naomi on her knees, cleaning for these fat, white, smug New Yorkers was enough to bring a lump to my throat. Had she really done anything Elton wouldn’t do after a few glasses of fizz?

Naomi is apparently a diva. But while that title still means a woman who is strong, feisty and determined, now it seems to be something to be ashamed of.

When the week was up, I – and no doubt Naomi – could bare it no more. I wondered if they’d crushed her spirit as much as the pictures I’d seen, printed by the cruelly braying tabloid press, had crushed mine.

But when her work was done and she blazed out of the Sanitation department, in a trail of slim, silver splendour, I felt she was back up on the catwalk where she belonged.

Campbell has said herself that “black don't crack”. And this time, her beauty really did epitomize her spirit.

“How proud they seemed, to have reduced a black woman to her knees, scrubbing toilets”

Art is the word at the Joogleberry, from 5 May Reflections by Martin Middleton (pictured top) Leaving Las Vegas and Puff Dapple by Bex Czik (pictured middle and bottom) Joogleberry. 14 - 17 Manchester Street, Brighton. BN2 1TF 01273 687171 www.joogleberry.com

Image: Chris Ashfield

I was in awe; blinded by the light that reflected from her metal waistband.

All week I’d been reading about Naomi's punishment. Her sanitation supervisors gloating at her castigation.

“She was on her hands and knees at one point today. She did scrub the upstairs bathroom,” grinned deputy chief of sanitation, Albert Durrell.

A sanitation spokesman added that Campbell “cleaned the supervisor’s office a few days ago and it hasn’t smelled this clean in years”.

Wild at art

Comments, queries and general chitchat can be sent to: katie@thelatest.co.uk

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4/18/07

2:30 PM

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THE RHYME

Eminemmylou The UK’s first and only rap and spoken-word column. This week featuring Morgan Nichols A voice screams out like a hand reaching out under an avalanche of sand Most say: “Oh, that’s madness, they’re poorly, surely, we can’t try to understand!”

Is it only poets who try and read what we can do? To help? To connect?

And try and find a language that can make sense of something so disconnected.

Disenfranchised Sitting in the office and there is violent screaming upstairs.

I will be alone in this situation for at least an hour.

It’s only venting.

It’s only schizophrenia.

Bubbling up, Pushing boundaries, Any number of words we use To keep ourselves safe.

It’s no symphony.

It is real raw rage.

Rage at disempowerment of the mind.

Imagine being a thirty-nine-year-old woman Who wants to remain a child.

Who cuts her hair as short as it can possibly go And wears the baggiest clothes she can find So that she cannot see and feel the curves of womanhood.

Who is told what to eat and when.

Who was put out of the family home for reasons she cannot understand.

Who we cannot understand.

Reproduced from Get Lost Magazine, the new poetry magazine from Hammer & Tongue. Email angrysam@hammerandtongue.co.uk for a copy of this rare mag.

Send rhymes and a pic to: eminemmylou@thelatest.co.uk

The backlash starts here Colette Meacher wouldn’t shake a feather at yet another Popeye-tattooed burlesque performer The advertising slogan cum catch-all ‘va va voom’ has a lot to answer for.

Va va voom has long become synonymous with ‘sexy’, but the number of burlesque nights spawned under it have drained the phrase of all the erotic appeal it may have formerly promised.

Burlesque was made sexy in this city a few years back when La Clique first came to town with the Spiegeltent. A show of sexy girls and sexy guys doing sexy things with ropes and ribbons and song and swings. Suddenly, everyone wanted a bit of that vintage-clad wartime nostalgia, with its sepiatinged glow of smoky ballrooms, ripped fishnets, furtive sex with GIs and ‘let’s party like there’s a war on’ gung-ho, washed down with as much grog as you could gullet. That feeling of the carnival arriving in town once a year during Brighton Festival was fantastic; it breathed a bit of magic into the streets and made play the name of the game.

But the seedy glamour of a bit of stolen freedom fades fast if it becomes routine, mundane, found in every bar and club across town, in every sort of

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EMOTIONS

Dani’s diary Dani, former teenage strumpet, wants to know what love is, where to find it and how to keep it...

Last week I wrote about how men have never changed, and their ways seem to be stuck in stone. I knew this before I wrote the column and I am still very aware of it now. So why do us women folk think we can change our male partners? Why when we have been faced with years of history stating the opposite do we always believe we are the one to change that boy’s mind? What makes us think we have the power to change how men have behaved for centuries?

No matter how many times you hint, they will never bring those flowers home. No matter how many times you ask them not to pee on the loo seat you can guarantee there’ll be a stray dribble the next time you go. And no matter how many times you say something nice, you will only get a satisfactory reply once for every ten compliments you pay.

So having been through relationships before, what makes us think the next will be much different? Obviously the person will have different traits, you will do different things and see different places but when it all boils down to it, not much else changes. You promise yourself you won’t make the same mistakes in the next relationship as you did in the one before, but we all do, no matter how hard we try. And the irritating thing is that we don’t even realise we are making the same mistakes again until it’s too late.

“What makes us think we have the power to change how men have behaved for centuries?”

It’s weird, just as I’m writing this, that song comes on the radio…

“Just hold him, and kiss him, and love him and then you will be his.”

Great: you’ve held him and kissed him and loved him and what the hell has he done for you? Other than point out all your faults! We all so desperately want to be in love with Mr Perfect, but how often have we ever met one? Do we actually know anyone who has met one? Even when we think we’ve met one, there are people judging the relationship from the outside, picking it apart, turning your Mr or Mrs Perfect into a nightmare waiting to happen. If we all know that relationships are full of this kind of stuff, why do we so desperately want them and why when we’re in them do we try our best to save every last minute of it?

Men sing the best love songs, and we grow up surrounded by them, so when we get into the field of dating we expect men to be more like us. To act like they care about the relationship, and more importantly, the person they are in it with. We’ve all had relationships that don’t work and are all looking for one that will, but what makes us think we’re actually going to find one? It is said that men will only have three women in their lives: the first love, the one they marry and the one they want but can’t have. Which one are you? Which one am I? venue with every sort of clientele. Gone is that feeling of having stumbled upon a lost era by chance; instead, you’re more likely to find yourself in a packed-out venue surrounded by gangs of guys on stag nights hoping to cock a snook at a lipsticked nipple in between ten pints of gnat’s piss and a loosely packed kebab on the way home. You’re more likely to feel that you’ve been watching the cabaret night shift, having been cruelly shipwrecked on a round-the-world cruise, half expecting a Jimmy Saville lookalike to pop up and announce a free showgirl high-kick to any man willing to pick a cherry out from every dancer’s buttocks on stage with his teeth, while blindfolded and riding the shoulders of a Russian pygmy transvestite.

“Off with the Marigolds, on with the opera gloves...”

Bang went the voom the day I heard a couple of sow-faced social workers on the bus discussing how they might be able to spice up their flaccid sex lives by taking up pole dancing classes. Off with the Marigolds, on with the opera gloves and another buxom, brazen-ars*d housewife is ready to strip on stage and share her cellulite in the name of burlesque.

Take away the feather boas, the Popeye tattoos, the broken heels and pork-pie hats and you’ve got a spit’n’sawdust lunchtime striptease paid up by pounds chucked into a pint glass. Forget ‘the rising of the Sphinx’, as one act was once called; imagine instead ‘the rising of the sphincter’. And then, I think, you’ll have seen the whole show.

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FASHION

In a day’s work Go from beach to bar with Harriet Hoff’s summer picks The sun is shining and I’m off to catch some rays this weekend down on the beach. Time to get your beach cool-wear out. Pack an extra outfit in your beach bag and you’ll be ready for evening dinner dates and beach parties too. Let’s get some summer lovin’!

1 A simple white smock will look great against a tan and is easy to co-ordinate with most of your summer wardrobe. White smock top, £20, Dorothy Perkins 2 A pair of jeans are the only thing I couldn’t live without in my wardrobe. Invest in some new-style wide-leg jeans for summer styling.

Jeans, £35, Miss Selfridge 3 Accessories will change an outfit in seconds.

These hot belts are on the hit list. Belts, £3 each, Matalan 4 Soak up those gorgeous rays in an itsy bitsy teenie weenie yellow polka dot bikini, just like this Princess Tam Tam one. Bikini top, £35, and bottoms, £27, both John Lewis 5 Stick some stack heels in your bag for the evening. Shoes, £60, Faith 6 This top is going to be sold out before you know it – it’s hot to trot. Add this to your jeans for an evening look that’ll knock ’em out. Top, £65, French Connection 7 A classy beach bag will put you miles ahead on the cool-o-meter. Rocha by John Rocha bucket bag, £75, Debenhams 8 A scarf is an all-time must, to cover your burnt bits, tie your hair back or keep your jeans up!

Scarf, £10, Accessorize

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tasty sussex!

‘Seasonal’ and ‘local’ are the buzz words in food today and Sussex is at the forefront of that movement. Producers, suppliers and restaurants are all striving to give customers the very best of local produce as it comes to market and we plan to celebrate that success.

To join in our promotion of the very best of Sussex food call Kate now on 01273 818150 latest 7 9

010_LS318_celebcity

4/19/07

10:59 AM

Page 8

AROUNDTOWN

sponsored by

Celebcity with Jo Brooks

Seeing the light Robin Cousins in St Paul – the musical!

As usual, the 2007 annual Brighton Festival will see a host of famous faces converging on our dear little city by the sea, including Vic Reeves, Victoria Wood, and the prime minister – oops! – I mean, of course, the chancellor Gordon Brown.

Upping the celeb ante at this year’s festivities will be the world premiere of a ground-breaking musical starring none other than Brighton’s very own ice skating champ, Olympic gold medallist Robin Cousins.

Paul – Strange Kind of Hero is being hailed as the next generation of musical after the classics Godspell, Jesus Christ Superstar, and Joseph and The Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat.

The show, written by acclaimed director Sue Pomeroy, uses a mixture of rock, pop, orchestral music, and community choirs to tell the story of St Paul, who famously saw the light on the road to Damascus and was converted.

Brighton-based Robin, who is no stranger to the West End stage, will be joined by a cast of over 70 for the production, which is being staged at St Bartholomews in the city centre. Starring opposite him as his leading lady will be Simona Armstrong, the Romanian Maria catapulted on to the small screen by hit BBC1 show How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria?

The show runs from 10–20 May. Tickets are available from the Dome box office or www.ticketmaster.com.

Local lurve, part 1 I hear that congratulations are in order for Sussex resident Jamie Theakston, who recently announced his engagement to girlfriend Sophie Siegle. In true showbiz fashion, the pair met at the Oscars two years ago and have been inseparable ever since.

Regular readers will know that young Mr Theakston still lives in the idyllic Sussex countryside, and regularly drinks at everyone’s favourite country pub, The Bull at Ditchling.

A little bird tells me that his fiancée Sophie is the current manager of trendy London nightspot Soho House. That’s the reception sorted then!

Local lurve, part 2 Apparently love is also in the air for Brighton resident James Lance, who has recently been linked to star of stage and screen Denise van Outen, who he first dated at London’s Sylvia Young Stage School no less than 20 years ago.

The pair found love during their time at the legendary stage school, where I hear that Mr Lance was the first boy that young Denise ever kissed! They recently rekindled their romance over in LA, where they are both spending a lot of their time.

Ms Van Outen said of the romance, “He’s someone living the same life as I am, between LA and the UK. I’ve been out there for the last few months and we spent a lot of time there together.”

With Denise currently enjoying a stint as judge on West End reality TV show Any Dream Will Do, I’m sure it won’t be long before she takes a trip down to Brighton to visit her new flame’s home town.

Midday stroller Spotted! Dexys Midnight Runners frontman Kevin Rowland strolling along Brighton seafront in unseasonable 28° heat while wearing a whacking great leather jacket and broad-brimmed hat. Kevin, I do love you!

Who’s house I hear that, among the wealth of stunning artworks on display at this year’s Artists Open Houses, as part of the Brighton Festival, will be new works by acclaimed designer Bernard Lodge, who most famously designed the spooky title graphics for cult show Doctor Who in the 1970s.

Watch this space for more info on this year’s open houses, which – I can tell you – promises to be one of the best ever!

I’s spied Spotted! Extras star Stephen Merchant, hovering outside I’s Pies on Gardner Street. I hear that Mr Merchant, who co-wrote both Extras and The Office with his old mate Ricky Gervais, was seen deep in conversation with a mystery blonde!

Jo Brooks is director of Brighton-based PR company JBPR Ltd, 01273 622555 www.jb-pr.com

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To comment on any of these stories or send in any news stories email editorial@thelatest.co.uk

011_LS318_comps/Xword

4/19/07

3:00 PM

Page 3

COMPETITIONSXWORD

latestcrossword

In it to win it

solutions on page 30

Get your hands on these great giveaways!

Following the trend of adapting a novelist’s life rather than their novel (see Finding Neverland and the newly released Becoming Jane), Miss Potter tells the story of British icon Beatrix Potter. Released on DVD for the first time next week, discover the largely untold story of the famous author, brought to life by Renée Zellwegar. Set in 1902, this is a genuinely moving love story of the free-spirited Potter who defied the conventions of her Victorian upbringing, secretly fell in love and became engaged to her publisher. Released by Momentum Pictures, we have three copies on DVD to give away. See below for entry details.

London To Brighton – DVD Winner of Best UK Feature at the 2006 Raindance film festival, London To Brighton is a chilling film from new writer-director Paul Andrew Williams. Filmed with gritty urban style, Williams reveals what goes on in London’s underworld and highlights characters we pass every day on the streets. As one man lies bleeding to death, two girls burst into a run-down toilet, bruised, beaten and needing to get through the next 24 hours alive. This newly released DVD is packed with features including an alternative ending and director’s commentary. We have two copies to give away. See below for details. Entrants must be aged 18 or over.

Hugo Pepper – Book Winner of the Nestlé Prize 2006 silver medal, Hugo Pepper is a delightful tale for children of all ages. Join Hugo Pepper on a journey from the Frozen North, the land of the snow giants, to discover the truth about his birth parents. Ending up in the town of Harbour Heights, Hugo begins a quest to discover the secrets surrounding the sinister institute in Firefly Square and the truth about his parents. We have two copies of this hardback book to give away. See below for entry details.

Harsh Times – DVD Pathé Distribution Ltd present a gritty urban drama set on the mean streets of LA. From the makers of Training Day, Harsh Times follows the life of Jim, an ex-army ranger who can’t get his life back on track since he returned from the Gulf War. Spending time cruising the streets of South Central looking for trouble, dealing drugs and picking fights with gang members, he and his friend Mike are on a road to self destruction. A hard-hitting look at friendship and ambition, starring Christian Bale, Eva Longoria and Freddy Rodriguez. We have three copies to give away. See below for entry details. Entrants must be aged 18 or over.

© 2006 UK Film Council/Hopping Mad Distribution (IOM) Ltd. All Rights Reserved.

Miss Potter – DVD

Cryptic 89

9

Quick 89

ACROSS

DOWN

ACROSS

5 Celebrity bird has no fish (4) 7 Self-satisfied business member takes money from the French (10) 8 He’s stirred, boiled or fried (4) 10 Unseat Nero, the dunce in disarray (8) 11 Man in deep recession needs hair styled (6) 12 Russian vehicle made in north east town (6) 14 Certain measures bring cash (6) 16 Run round to the pictures (6) 17 In Shakespeare, the disturbed mind is a source of energy (8) 19 Tolstoy’s no heart for playthings (4) 21 The Alice place (10) 22 Scheme for tailless aircraft (4)

1 Arrange account with man in pain (4) 2 Sample fresh spice, chaps (8) 3 Down-to-earth type of gentry (6) 4 Gambling man’s improved (6) 5 Excite the heart of the toughest Irishman (4) 6 But Lady Ann is spoiled with plenty (10) 9 Rich lot are converted to a new form of oratory (10) 13 Char swallows bits of metal with delicacy (8) 15 Pub with broken canopy suits the emaciated (6) 16 Make backward bird count up (6) 18 Early girl? (4) 20 Team man misses New York (4)

5 Child (4) 7 Insect (10) 8 Girl (4) 10 Sail or fly (8) 11 Mountain plant (6) 12 Runner-up (6) 14 Thoroughfare (6) 16 Tropical grass (6) 17 With child (8) 19 Act (4) 21 Oddly (10) 22 Eye infection (4)

DOWN 1 Competent (4) 2 Glue (8) 3 Loll (6) 4 Cookers (6) 5 Hill (4) 6 Detain in talk (10) 9 Student of warfare (10) 13 Comic (8) 15 Hypnotic state (6) 16 Military engagement (6) 18 Stare open-mouthed (4) 20 Periods of time (4)

The Professor – DVD The award-winning director of Cinema Paradiso and Malena is back with The Professor (aka Il Camorrista). A violent but intelligent gangster thriller loosely based on the true-life story of Raffaele Cutolo. During the 1970s and early 1980s, Cutolo organised the Naples Mafia, Camorra, into a major crime syndicate. During a stint in prison after killing a man to defend his sister, the ‘professor’ in question starts a bloody rise to power behind bars. We have two copies to give away on DVD. See below for details. Entrants must be aged 18 or over.

Joy Division – DVD First-time British director Reg Traviss presents a thrilling spy film taking the audience from World War II Russia to the height of the Cold War in London’s swingin’ 60s. Joy Division centres on themes of memory, youth, identity and love, told in a series of recounted flashbacks against the fast-paced backdrop of war. We have two copies to give away on DVD. See entry details below. Entrants must be aged 15 or over.

To be in with a chance of winning email competitions@thelatest.co.uk with the title of the prize you wish to win in the subject box. Alternatively, write to us at the address in the front of the magazine. Don’t forget to give us your name, contact address and number.

To advertise call Kate on 01273 818150

Collection/delivery ordering service for

IKEA goods Tell us what you want, and we’ll deliver it. Simple as that.

No traffic. No queues. No rows. No hassle.

FEARLESS MIKE 01273 711166 As seen on TV.

admin@fearlessmike.com

www.fearlessmike.com

Ask about our flatpack assembly service We are an independent limited company and not part of the Ikea group.

For coverage in this magazine email editorial@thelatest.co.uk

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012_LS318_iTalk

4/18/07

11:26 AM

Page 1

013_LS318_Jeremy Hoye

4/20/07

12:23 PM

Page 1

JEWELLERY

_ÉäxËá ÄtuÉâÜá Ätáà Jeremy Hoye has created the Tulip wedding ring, the timeless way to express your enduring adoration With the wedding season upon us, Jeremy Hoye has created the much awaited wedding ring to complement this season’s Tulip collection (see cover).

Tulip’s feminine look has gone down a storm with the designer’s customers.

The new wedding ring is an incomplete band that sweeps into the solitaire to make a very strong, yet elegant and feminine set of rings. And at certain angles the engagement and wedding band together look like an Egyptian eye.

The simplicity and femininity of these rings together really make the stunning rings work. They are available in platinum or 18ct gold (white, yellow or red) and have the option of diamonds set into the ring in either white, black, blue or pink diamonds. Wedding bands start from £250.

Check out the website to view the other new Tulip additions, fantastic silver and semi-precious stone bracelets and necklaces set with specially cut drop-shape stones in iolite, amethyst, sky-blue topaz, peridot, garnet and moonstone. These can be mixed or matched and are perfect for the bride or bridesmaid, or just as a gift for your loved one. Diamond ring prices and sizes start from £925 for 0.15 points, up to 1.00 carat, and with many sizes in between to cater for every budget.

After many requests from customers, Jeremy has added a smaller heart locket to his Entwine collection which can be engraved inside or fit with a photograph of a loved one. The heart locket is available in silver or 18ct gold. Prices start at £195.

Another addition to the popular collection are deep rich pink sapphires (pictured) They have been added to complement the range of white and coloured diamonds already featuring among the range.

Don’t forget to check out the website for an easy to use, slick shop. It features search engines to get you where you want quickly and an email wish list that you can send to friends.

Why not sign on to the newsletter – the only way to receive discounts or promotional news from this inspirational, independent shop. This month’s exclusive discount is 25 per cent off Jeremy’s Signature Blue Collection. It’s also worth checking out what’s on the auction pages. They feature four items of jewellery under the hammer each month with starting bids at £1 and leading to frantic bidding at the end of the auction. Go on, get in there and get the bidding rush.

Jeremy Hoye, 22a Ship Street, Brighton.

Call 0845 094 3175 or see www.jeremy-hoye.co.uk latest 7 13

014_LS318_cheeky/stars

4/19/07

12:39 PM

Page 2

ONLY JOKING!

Bare cheek Stick your oar in!

Brian Mitchell and Joseph Nixon’s thoroughly scurrilous Brighton column

In & Out IN

OUT

• Bloat • The Lilt Man • Deciding to do the washing up but becoming transfixed instead by an episode of Lytton’s Diary on Granada Plus and watching it to the bitter end • Jive Bunny • Bed wetting

• “Beep Beep Now You B*stard” T-Shirts • The Scottish Widow • Being exaggeratedly revolted by a very slightly odd combination of foodstuffs being eaten by a colleague or friend, ie baked beans and garden peas • Sophie’s World • Piles

Spotted Coffee or tea? with Robert Burns I’ll ne’er regret that lousome day I saw a-walking doon the road A fellow, wi’ a suit so gay I thought I’d shoot ma load.

“I like coffee, I like tea, I like the Java Jive and it likes me.”

So sang the black American doo-wap group The Inkspots in 1940. But which is better – a lovely old cup of tea, or a nice old cup of coffee? We asked our favourite Brighton celebs which they prefer.

An occasional series in which we ask the opinion of both celebrities and lowly proles on a local issue. This week – who do you think is the mysterious developer behind the proposed renovation of the West Pier?

LOCAL COLUMNIST BARRY KIDDING “When this old warhorse was knee high to a grasshopper, the pier was a filthy, dilapidated ruin. Then it burnt down. Then bits of it fell off. Then it burnt down again. And that’s the way it should be. Like it says in some book – to every thing there is a season. A time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to live and a time to die, a time to obey a restricting order and a time to go round you ex-wife’s house at four in the morning and try to kick her front door in. Whoever this developer is, he had better remember this or face eternity boiling in molten lead in the darkest pits of hell.”

LEO SAYER Tea. CATE BLANCHETT Coffee.

JORDAN Tea. LOCAL COLUMNIST BARRY KIDDING Scotch.

NICK CAVE Definitely tea. It’s got to be Tetley though. I always loved those adverts with the little fellas on – Maurice, Gordon, Clarence, Tina – and poor old Sydney. He might have been a virtual imbecile but he had a heart of gold.

NICK CAVE “Strewth! I head through the grapevine that the bloke behind the redevelopment is fellow Aussie Clive James, who intends to build a ‘Jamesland’ theme park based around his novels and literary criticism, those records he made with Pete Atkin that nobody liked, and the Japanese TV show ‘Endurance’ that he made fun of back in the late 80s.”

MRS BETTY RAMSBOTTOM (79), PATCHAM “I think it’s almost certainly Darth Vader, and that he intends to build a ‘Death Pier’ that will travel around Britain destroying other piers like the ones at Blackpool and Southend for the glorification of his dark empire.”

FRED MARRIOTT (97), HANOVER “I dunno who it is, but I think we can be fairly sure that he or she will probably be a ****.”

ZOE BALL Half a cup of coffee mixed with half a cup of tea.

DAVID VAN DAY Tea. LUKE PRITCHARD Coffee.

LEAD SINGER WITH 1977 STARSKY AND HUTCH ANNUAL JED BOLTON Coffee. No, tea. No – definitely coffee. Or tea.

SIMON FANSHAWE Warm Panda cola PRESTON A lovely cup of piping hot jolly old Earl Grey to get the jolly old juices flowing. Pip pip!

Alas! He didnae speak tae me Puir fuil – it was his loss.

So, if yer reading this Jack Dee Go stick it up yer airse.

STARS

Astral Angi ★ Your week ahead ★

Buy the CD Bardsley’s, country music with c-hip s-hop beats at Bardsley’s and Borders NOW!

BARDSLEY’S

GROUNDHOG FISH N CHIPS 22/23/23A BAKER ST, BRIGHTON BN1 4JN

01273 681256

ARIES (MAR 21–APR 20)

CANCER (JUNE 22–JULY 22)

LIBRA (SEP 23–OCT 22)

CAPRICORN (DEC 21–JAN 19)

Your most compatible sign is Libra.

They just get you and will do things for you, like fetching and carrying. Click your fingers to get their full attention.

Your most compatible sign is Taurus, but they’ve run off with a Sagittarian.

Better luck next time. Go to Bardsley’s and check out the Leo talent.

Your most compatible sign is Capricorn. They’ll leave you be when you’re tired and cook for you when you’re hungry. They’re like Jesus.

Your most compatible sign is an earth, wind or fire sign. Ooh. Ah. Boogie wonderland. Check out the new 70s disco combos at Bardsley’s.

TAURUS (APR 21–MAY 21)

LEO (JULY 23–AUG 22)

SCORPIO (OCT 23–NOV 21)

AQUARIUS (JAN 20–FEB 19)

Your most compatible sign is Sagittarius. Yeah, yeah, I know all the other astrologers say it’s a no-no, but what do they know? Just trust me.

You’re possessive, they’re freespirited, the fireworks are guaranteed.

Your most compatible sign is Aquarius. Fire and air signs work a treat. Add a hurricane and some wailing sirens, and you really will have all the drama you could possibly need.

Your most compatible sign is Pisces, because they are cute and sexy. But you will have to disguise yourself as a Cancerian and head down to Bardsley’s if you want to snare yourself one.

Your most compatible sign is Leo. The Kama Sutra was written with a Leo and an Aquarian in mind. Geminis took the photos and Virgos proofread it. And they all went to Bardsley’s after working up an appetite.

GEMINI (MAY 22–JUNE 21)

VIRGO (AUG 23–SEP 22)

SAGITTARIUS (NOV 22–DEC 20)

PISCES (FEB 20–MAR 20)

Your most compatible sign is Gemini.

Just look into the mirror, and become your best friend. If you’re not already going out with yourself, then why not?

Your most compatible sign is Scorpio.

Their most compatible sign is Pisces, who in turn prefer Cancerians, so all in all, someone is not gonna be happy.

Your most compatible sign is Taurus. Yeah, yeah, I know they eat and worry a lot, but they really do dig you.

Your most compatible sign is Cancer, because they are soft and cuddly.

Find one at Bardsley’s ordering the giant Yank-size portions.

14 latest 7

To talk to Astral Angi please email angi@thelatest.co.uk

015_LS318_stand-up/vets

4/19/07

2:30 PM

Page 3

STAND-UP COMEDY

A laughing matter Victoria Nangle – on having an excellent comedic adventure in London

London beckoned and I responded to its curious call. Or rather – I sent a very polite email to a London booker and asked him please if I could have a stand-up new act gig. Pretty please. Please with cherries on. Not that I begged or anything. And ‘lo a gig came forth of the finest calibre in Camden Town, land of the trendies and the overstuffed pubs. I think I may have mentioned this a few weeks back, but at that point it was all trepidation and waiting and now it’s all blasé and ‘London, pah!’ Isn’t it great not to be scared of something any more simply because you’ve done it once?

In actual fact, the gig went very well. It was in a bizarrely shaped room above a pub on the high street. The room was at a right-angle with you, the comic, standing at the corner, turning from one side to the other so no one felt left out. The motley crew of mates and locals filed in and the tension built even further when I heard one of the bookers say: “I don’t think we have a ‘sold out’ sign”, shortly before ushering the comics away from the back of their side of the right-angle leg and bunging in more chairs for punters.

There was not an extra ticket to be had, and each ticket sold had been handed over with the question: “Who are you here to see?” Having Camden as my habitat before moving down to Brighton ensured that quite a few of these (eight, in fact!) were here to see me, which is why I think I was asked to open the second act.

“The lovely time after telling your gag, when the crowd laugh for longer than you expected” Oh, the bliss. The lovely time after telling your gag, when the crowd laugh for longer than you expected so that you’re left standing and waiting for the nice people to be ready for the next bit. If all London gigs are like this, then fear begone.

However, I do realise that they’re not all going to be like that. There will be times when I’m heckled, harumphed and intimidated – so I’ve sent off another nice email to get my next London gig. This could be anywhere in or around London, but I think: feel the fear and do it anyway. Or feel the fear, turn up and then stage an emergency phone call and run away fast – which is what a fellow new act comic confessed to doing quite frequently when he first started.

The other acts at the Camden gig were good, but still learning, so I didn’t feel that any of our Brighton stand-ups would be out of place there.

My mates fed back that they thought it was a bit of a hit and miss night, but that’s what you get in most new act clubs. Personally, I just enjoyed the level of creativity that could be found in that room. Whether it worked for the audience or not, there was a wonderful amount of original thought in that there oddly shaped pub in North London.

☺

Stand-up wisdom 38: “What happens when pasta meets anti-pasta?” Helmut

image

Individual Images for Individual People

catcher T i m R i c h a r d s o n Freelance Photographer 01273 881832 07977 140002 www.image-catcher.co.uk tim.richardson@image-catcher.co.uk 32a Carlisle Road, Hove, East Sussex BN3 4FS

PETS

Marc the vet Paul O’Grady Show’s Marc Abraham says ‘happy Wet Nose Day’ to you all!

Did you know that 24 April is Wet Nose Day, the national fundraising day for our pets? Aimed at promoting responsible pet ownership, this annual awareness campaign is the highlight of National Pet Month (7 April–7 May), encouraging organisations to hold events and fun days to raise much-needed funds for our local and national animal charities. All events are then entered into a countrywide competition and awarded accordingly for their innovation and contribution to our pet-loving community.

Last year, PETS won the overall national competition for our rather successful Sussex PETS Awards, raising hundreds of pounds for our friends at Sussex Pet Rescue. So this year, to defend our crown, we’ve come up with something even more special… PETS are searching for the Bravest Pet In Sussex!

“One thing that amazes me is the survival instinct in-built into every pet. I really think they deserve some recognition for it” One thing that amazes me as a vet is the survival instinct in-built into every pet. I really think they deserve some recognition for it. So, do you know of a courageous canine who’s had a caesarian? Or a fearless feline who’s found their way home after being forgotten? Maybe a heroic hamster that was nearly a has-been? We want to know about them.

Now the word ‘brave’, like ‘emergency’, means different things to different people. At PETS, we see such a variety of medical and surgical conditions that all need to be overcome, both physically and emotionally, by the pet – from the classic road-traffic accidents and gastric torsions in larger dogs, to the simpler and more common cat-bite abscesses or cut paws. There are also poorly pets that have to remain in our hospital for days or even weeks, on drips and being syringe-fed by our fantastic nurses, until they can go home. Sometimes, pets are brought in that have travelled miles under the bonnets of random cars or have been knocked down and picked up off the road by caring passers-by.

So, if you know of any pet, large or small, young or old, that you think deserves the title of Bravest Pet In Sussex, then visit our website www.pets-brighton.com, sign up for our free monthly newsletter, and you’ll receive instructions on how to nominate very soon. The chosen finalists will all be put forward for a public online vote and the winner chosen later on this summer at the Annual PETS Garden Party in September, featuring our charity auction. For more information, visit www.nationalpetmonth.org.uk.

Any comments for Marc email editorial@thelatest.co.uk 12,000 students attend the University of Sussex.

The only way to reach these potential clients is through the University of Sussex Students’ Union.

The badger is the Students’ Union’s tabloid newspaper, published every Thursday and read by 84% of students*.

The pulse, our termly magazine, has been awarded the best UK Student Magazine twice by The Guardian and Independent newspapers.

To advertise in either publication, phone the USSU marketing team on 01273 678151 or email ussu-marketing@sussex.ac.uk * Student Lifestyle Questionnaire 2002

latest 7 15

016-017_LS318_udderbelly

4/20/07

1:41 PM

Page 2

UDDERBELLY

Caesar Twins The La Clique stars return with double the excitement and thrills in their brand new show If you didn’t manage to see them last time, then be sure to catch their new show in the Udderbelly tent this festival. The Caesar Twins are the acclaimed act that have audiences crying out for more as they perform amazing acrobatic feat upon feat.

One minute above the ground, the next underwater – they’re lithe, energetic and breathtakingly elegant.

Their physicality is, of course, beyond impressive but there is humour too, a rapport between the guys as they challenge each other to go that extra mile.

Now, their new show is ready, and packed with even more feats of daring, brilliant effects and spectacular sound. It’s too amazing to express in words, so take a look at these extraordinary images or better still, book your seats now as this is surely one of this festival’s not-to-bemissed shows.

Udderbelly, Old Steine, 7-13, 15, 18, 21-27 May, 9pm; 14, 20, 28 May, 7pm; and 19 May, 1pm, £14/£16 (£10 for previews 7-9 May). Call 01273 709709 or see www.udderbelly.co.uk

This Way For The Gas, Ladies & Gentlemen Thought-provoking musical drama “I wanted to write a musical that mattered as much as ‘Cabaret’. A musical which did not deal with genocide as a boring history lesson, but was about life today, and difficult though it is, a musical which is also life enhancing. I wanted to deal with why genocide is happening still in Darfur? Why does the world still look on and look away, as they did at Auschwitz?” says writer Bill Smith.

The critics think it is as good as ‘Cabaret’, full of moving pieces like the title song, based on Tadeusz Borowski’s gallows-humour story about a day in the gas chambers of Auschwitz.

The story is drawn from the words of real people, sadly in real camps, and includes two Nobel Prize winners, Czeslaw Milosz and Elie Wiesel and also great writers like Paul Celan, Nina Cassian and Kevin Carey. The musical drama tells four overlapping stories, the poet Borowski; the writer Micheline Maurel; the photographer, Joan from Darfur and the great artist Arnold Daghani who later came to live in Hove, and whose work is largely stored at the University Of Sussex.

The Life And Death Orchestra create an extraordinary epic score. The orchestra includes Eddie Myer from Turin Brakes, 16 latest 7

Hollywood film composer Chris Page, and Tristan Banks who has played with many top bands including Massive Attack, the Bays, Turin Brakes and Terry Callier. It is conducted

by Dominic Nunns of the Lost & Found Orchestra from Stomp (described by The Times as the ‘great British hope for music conducting’), and augmented by top Brighton choir The Rainbow Chorus, and the cream of the young musicians in Sussex from the Brighton Youth Orchestra. The score also includes a Fatboy Slim remix of a Real Sounds Of Africa tune. Plus, there’s a special message from George Clooney on the plight of the people of Darfur.

Starring great actors and singers – Seth Morgan as Borowski, Guy Picot (Footballers’ Wives and Holby City writer) as Daghani, Ross Gurney-Randall as The Guard, the beautiful Adele Zizi as Maria and amazing singers Jenny James as Nanino, Kerri McLean as Joan and Angi Mariani (better known as rap artist Eminemmylou – www.myspace.com/eminemmylou, over one million hits in six months) as Micheline Maurel.

Udderbelly, Old Steine, 22-27 May, 5pm, £8/£10. Call 01273 709709 or see www.udderbelly.co.uk

016-017_LS318_udderbelly

4/20/07

1:41 PM

Page 3

UDDERBELLY

What I Heard About Iraq Award-winning political theatre

The Yarnbards Improv fun for the whole family Have you heard the tale of the werewolf, the zombie and the tourist from Cornwall?

Perhaps you’d like to see an uplifting show about an unhappy elephant, a magic stamp maker or a radio DJ who lives in a cupboard?

Whatever combination of weird and wonderful things are in your head, these could all end up on stage when you go to see The Yarnbards.

Co-founded by the king of improv, Richard Vranch (Whose Line Is It Anyway, Smack The Pony, Paul Merton’s Improv Chums), and actor/director Leisa Rea, the Yarnbards turn audience suggestions into clever, funny and often bizarre tales. Previous inventions include

If someone asked you what was going on in Iraq right now, what would you say? It’s easy to feel lost in the swirling sluice of 24-hour news and commentary. What I Heard About Iraq cuts through the confusion, to give a voice to those directly affected by the war and remind us all of what we used to know. From 2001, when Condoleeza Rice and Colin Powell declared Saddam Hussein posed no threat, to our entry into Iraq, to the sublime ridiculousness of Dick Cheney’s press conference appearances.

What I Heard About Iraq is a piece of verbatim theatre, based on an article that originally appeared in the London Review Of Books. It uses statements from politicians, soldiers and civilians and is constantly updated to create a living, breathing picture of Iraq.

Developed in the US, the show premiered in the UK at the Edinburgh Fringe, winning a coveted Fringe First award. Last year, readings were held in over 47 locations worldwide, including Durban, Athens and Berlin to mark the anniversary of the invasion of Iraq.

Udderbelly, Old Steine, 7 May, 5pm, £8/£10. Call 01273 709709 or see www.udderbelly.co.uk

a ‘who can be the nastiest’ competition between a horrible auntie and a bad wizard, a cow on a boat in the Mediterranean looking for pizza, talking hippos, magic broccoli and haunted fruit.

Although the show is recommended for ages 7 and up, it’s not just for children. The performers all come from adult theatre and comedy backgrounds and the sheer bizarreness of the suggestions and the actors’ improv skills ensure this is a show that works for everyone.

Udderbelly, Old Steine, 12 and 26 May, 1pm, £6/£8. Call 01273 709709 or see www.udderbelly.co.uk

Think No Evil Of Us My Life With Kenneth Williams

by David Benson This one-man show is much more than a run of the mill biographical tribute. Using Williams’ diaries and other background material, David Benson has created a fully rounded character that gives a glimpse behind the public persona of one of Britain’s best loved comedians.

He has succeeded in building a portrait of a highly complex man: vulnerable, insecure and capable of taking your breath away. “I want to portray Williams as a character rather than as an historical figure,” said Benson, admitting he is fascinated by Williams’ ability to “continually redeem himself by turning his

private torment into blistering comedy.”

Weaving an autobiographical strand into the performance, Benson tells of his own link to Williams (courtesy of a Jackanory competition at the age of 13) and compares his own confusion with his emerging sexuality.

His resemblance to the much-beloved Carry On star is uncanny – so much so that friends and colleagues of Williams have given it their seal of approval, including Barbara Windsor, Nicholas Parsons, and Barry Took.

Udderbelly, Old Steine, 5 May, 4.45pm, £10/£12. Call 01273 709709 or see www.udderbelly.co.uk

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018_LS318_BrightonCentre

4/18/07

1:06 PM

Page 1

019_LS318_beauty

4/19/07

5:59 PM

Page 1

BEAUTY

Bright& beautiful Thinking of a new hair colour? Whatever your shade, keep your colour vibrant with these great products for ultimate staying power, tried and tested for your convenience. Reviewed by Zara Friend, Kate Knight, Sharon Caple, Heather Holland and Karen Holland

VO5 Fade Defy Rich and Vibrant Conditioning Masque, £2.19, 150ml, from all good chemists and supermarkets This intensive conditioner made my hair really shiny, bringing out the colour.

Lavera Mango Milk Care Treatment, £5.75, 150ml, available from The Dolphin House Shop, 15 New Road, Brighton, 01273 721720, www.thedolphinhouseshop.org.uk A new range made from natural ingredients. The mango milk left my hair extremely soft and manageable, while enhancing its colour.

Boots Camomile and Lemonbalm Shampoo, £1.29, 300ml, exclusive to Boots Great value, this shampoo left my hair looking a lot lighter, and very soft.

(Also try the Henna and Horse Chestnut for red heads/brunettes.)

★★★✩✩

MOP (Modern Organic Products) C-System Clean Shampoo, £9.99, 300ml, available from professional salons and online at www.mophair.com New from MOP, this cleansing shampoo is sulphate and fragrance free, and gave my hair a gentle and thorough cleanse.

★★★★★

★★★★✩

★★★★✩

TRESemmé Vitamin E & Aloe Colour Lock UV Filter Leave In Conditioning Spray, £3.99, 250ml, available from all good chemists I don’t usually use these products, but this leave-in conditioner left my hair soft and shiny and is very useful if you’re in a rush.

Would recommend.

★★★✩✩

VO5 Fade Defy Shampoo, £2.19, 400ml, available from all good chemists and supermarkets A gentle shampoo that left my hair colour looking bright.

★★★★✩

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Best for long-lasting hold John Frieda Sheer Blonde Crystal Hold spray, £4.49, 250ml, available from all good chemists and larger supermarkets A fantastic new hairspray that dries clear and glossy to enhance blonde hair, adding plenty of shine, without feeling greasy or too heavy.

Best for dry hair Origins 100% Organic Nourishing Oil For Hair, £20, 30ml, for stockists call 0800 731 4039 or buy online at www.origins.co.uk A nourishing non-greasy hair oil, ideal for distressed hair that’s been colour-treated and exposed to UV rays. Hair feels silky smooth and shimmers with shine.

Best for straightening John Frieda Brilliant Brunette Simply Sleek Straightening Balm, £4.49, 100ml, available from all good chemists and larger supermarkets This new product from the popular John Frieda range leaves hair – and the bank balance – looking great.

Botanics Glossy Brunette Shampoo, £2.99, 250ml, available from Boots This shampoo left my hair feeling silky and had a very shiny effect. It was a good shampoo for my hair colour and left it feeling soft and thick.

Joico Color Endure Leave-In Protectant, £10.99, 300ml, available from professional salons. For your nearest Joico salon call 01282 683100 or buy online at www.joico.bathandunwind.com Excellent spray-on and leave conditioner, which didn’t cling to my hair like some others do, and left it looking brighter and livelier.

★★★★✩

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And for fun...

Fudge Paint box – Purple Haze, £7.95, 75ml, for stockists call 01282 683100 or visit www.fudge.com A fun and funky creative conditioning colour that’s ammonia and peroxide free.

Leaves hair in a great condition while adding a fun and new colour.

Best for volume TRESemmé Body & Shine UV Filter Mousse, 300ml, from all good chemists and larger supermarkets, £3.99 Brand new to stores this month, this light mousse adds subtle volume, instead of weighing hair down, while prolonging the radiance of colourtreated locks.

Best colour-protecting duo Fudge Colour Lock Shampoo and Conditioner, 300ml, £9.95 each, for stockists call 01282 683100 or visit www.fudge.com A hydrating shampoo that protects hair colour against environmental stresses. The gentle conditioner reduces hair-drying time, meaning less distress caused to hair from heat.

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4/19/07

11:17 AM

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HEALTH

See more health tips at wavemagazine.co.uk

Au naturelle

Health & fitness

Keeping it natural will leave you looking and feeling your best says Miranda Glavin

Abs Blast With Martin.

Fitforall, 6pm, £3 Ashtanga Yoga Brighton Buddhist Centre, 12.45–2pm and 6–7.30pm, £6/£4 BE Pilates Mat Class Rehab/basic classes.

01273 273074 for info.

Back2Balance, 5.45–6.45pm, & 7–8pm, £45 for six weeks Boxing Class Drop-in.

Cheetahs Boxing Gym, 7.30–9pm, £4 (also every Fri 7–8pm, Sat 12–1.30pm and Mon 6–7pm, all £4) Children’s Kungfu Ages 7–11.

Cornerstone Community Centre, 4–5pm, £4 Contemporary Dance Class St Joseph’s Studio, Milton Road, 7.30–8.30pm, £3.50 Dharma, Dialogue and Meditation Bodhi Garden, 7–9.30pm, please call for £ Flamenco Dance Lower/Int. The Dance Station, 8.15–9.15pm, £8.50 Flamenco Dance Technique Contact Ana for more info. The Dance Station, 7–8.15pm, £8.50 General Pilates Pre-book with Penny on 07904 472605.

The Acupuncture Clinic, 6.45–7.45pm, £48 for 6 wks Tai Chi & Qi Gong The Acupuncture Clinic, 8–10pm, £7 drop-in Yoga (Scaravelli) Revitalise, 12pm, £30 for 6/£6 drop-in

TUESDAY 24

From radical potions to needles and knives, with all heavily advertised quick fixes out there it‘s hard to believe you can be happy and healthy from something as simple as the right diet and chemical-free products. So for those in need of a makeover and interested in perhaps a less dramatic, but no less potent recipe for natural beauty, read on.

Inside…

©istockphoto.com

Research has demonstrated again and again that people who consume antioxidant-rich food, such as fruits and vegetables, are at a lower risk of developing diseases, have greater energy and experience less weight gain. Their mineral, vitamin, phytonutrient (disease-fighting chemicals) and fibre-filled content counteract the effects of cellular damage.

While remembering what to eat, it’s just as important to be aware of what not to. Coffee may be part of your daily routine but it’s worth remembering one cup of coffee flushes around two glasses of water from your system. Without water, the body cannot detoxify properly and the skin will inevitably become less supple and bright. So be sure to drink a minimum of six to eight glasses of fresh, clean water daily.

In terms of looks, a supplement which particularly benefits the skin is fish oil. This is because it is high in the essential fat omega-3. As well as being critical to every cellular function in the body, omega-3 makes your hair softer and shinier. You can also get it through eating cold-water fish, flax oil, nuts and seeds.

And, of course, nothing ages the skin quicker than smoking. The average cigarette depletes the body of approximately 60mg of vitamin C. That and the many other detrimental effects to your health mean the quicker you quit the better.

…and out The skin is the body’s largest detoxifying organ. Consider then the constant barrage of tight clothing, antiperspirants and heavy moisturising lotions, and you’ll have an idea why the body cannot always do its job efficiently. For the body, dry brushing is one method to help your skin breathe and detoxify more effectively.

When it comes to the face, just checking the ingredients in most of your normal products will run up a list in the hundreds. Going without make-up once in a while will let your skin breathe a little. If, however, the idea of leaving the house without it brings you out in hives, then it may be worth investing in some natural make-up. There are plenty of brands now offering products with natural (usually from plant origins) and often organic ingredients which your skin will thank you for.

Natural products can also be applied to your clothing. Materials such as hemp let your skin breathe and are often offered by companies with fair-trade objectives – so you’re not just helping yourself.

Nothing however, will protect you from the elements as much as a good laugh (which increases your body’s ability to fight off infection) followed by the regenerative effect of a good night’s sleep.

FRIDAY 27 Tai Chi Chuan Class For over 50s. Contact Ian on 07900 193230 for more details.

Leach Court, 11.30am, £3 Tai Chi Peacehaven Leisure Centre, 7.30pm drop in, £4.30 Yoga And Meditation Brighton Buddhist Centre, 10–11.30am, £6/£4 Yogalates Coral Health & Fitness, 6.30pm, £3.50

SATURDAY 28 BE Pilates Mat Class Beg/Improvers. 01273 273074 for info. Coast Chiropractic, 10–11am & 11am–12pm, £45 for six weeks Coretastic! With James.

Fitforall, 10am,£4 Children’s Ki & Aikido For ages 4–7. Brighton Ki Centre, call Bob for info: 01273 323315. 9–9.45am, £2.50 Hatha Yoga (Scaravelli) 90-minute class. Coral Health and Fitness,12pm, £4.50 Indoor Cycling Coral Health & Fitness, 9am & 10.15am £3.50 Self Defence and Fitness Dorothy Stringer Sports Complex. Kids class 10-11am, adults 11am–12pm, (and Tuesdays kids class 6.30–7.30pm and adults 7.30–8.30pm

WEDNESDAY 25 Abs and Backs Dean’s Leisure Centre, 8–8.20pm, £1 Aerobics Circuits Dean’s Leisure Centre, 7–8pm, £4 Ashtanga Yoga Brighton Buddhist Centre, 12.45–2pm, £6/£4 Baby Massage The Acupuncture Clinic, 1.45–2.45pm, £45 for 5.

Dynamic Yoga Orchid Health.

8–9.30pm and Mondays 7–8.30pm, £5 Eight Treasures Qi Gong St Mary Magdalen Community Centre, 6.15–7.15pm, also same time Monday, £8 Ki & Aikido Basics Bob: 01273 323315. Brighton Ki Centre, 7–9pm, £6 Morning Soto Zen Meditation Bodhi Garden, 7.30–8.30am, suggested donation £5 Shaolin Tai Qi – Rou Quan St Mary Magdalen Centre, also same time Monday.

7.15pm–8.15pm, £8, (£25 for all four classes at the centre) Sivananda Yoga Beg/int. Call Helen 07722 046865.

Revitalise, 9.30–10.45am Yoga Drop-in with Jackie Coulson. Wendy Whatling School of Dance, 9.15–10.45am (also Thu 7.45–8.45pm) Yummymummys Fitforall, 10.30am, £4 Yoga With Joanne. Coral Health/Fitness, 1.30pm, £3.50

THURSDAY 26 BE Pilates Semi-Private Matwork Classes Carla for info: 01273 273 074. BE Pilates Studio, Westdene, 10.15am and 6.30pm, (also same time Mondays) £75 for six weeks.

Body Control Pilates Mixed & advanced classes. Holistic Health Centre, 8–9.15pm, £60 for 6 weeks Hatha Fusion Yoga The Acupuncture Clinic, 9.30–10.30am, £6 Step and Tone Coral Health & Fitness, 10.15am, £3.50 Vajrasati Yoga Brighton Buddhist Centre, 1–2.15pm, and 6–7pm, £6/£4

If you would like to comment on this story please email editorial@thelatest.co.uk

Yoga With Jo. Fitforall, 7.15pm, £4

SUNDAY 29 Adult Tap Wendy Whatling.Beg: 7–8pm and intermediate 8–9pm Aquarobics King Alfred.

10.30am–11.15am, £4.10 Hangover Spin Fitforall, 10am, £4 Legs, Bums and Tums Coral Health & Fitness, 10.15am,£3.50 Women’s Yoga The Acupuncture Clinic, 11am–12.15pm, £40 for six

MONDAY 30 Chen Tai Chi All levels, Davigdor School, 6–7pm, £7.

Info: 07799 097776 Fertility Talk With specialists in nutrition, acupuncture and more. The Acupuncture Clinic, 8.15–9.30pm, free Hatha Yoga (Scaravelli) Coral Health & Fitness. 12pm & 7.10pm, £3.50 Latino Mix With Marta, Fitforall, 6pm, £4 Latin Dance With Ricardo, Coral Health and Fitness, 8.10–9.10pm, £3.50 (also Fridays 7.30pm) Legs, Bums And Tums Deans Leisure Centre. £4, 5.30–6.30pm and 6.30–7.30pm Post/Ante Natal Pilates Babies welcome. Pre-book with Penny on 07904 472605.

The Acupuncture Clinic, 12.30–1.30pm, £60 for 6 wks Scaravelli Inspired Yoga With Peta Trousdell at Unit 4.

Call 01273 846722 for more info. 10–11.30am Shaolin Kungfu All levels, Davigdor School. 7–8pm, £7 Tai Chi Chuan Class More info: 07900 193230. All Saints Church Hall, 8pm, £5 Unguided Meditation Bodhi Garden, Alan: 07888 821524, 6–7pm, suggested donation £5 Women's Yoga (Scaravelli) The Acupuncture Clinic.

6.30–8pm, £9 drop-in,£32 for 4 Yoga (Scaravelli) All levels.

Revitalise, 9.30–10.30am, £35 for 6/£7 drop-in Yoga All levels, Coral Health & Fitness, 12pm (also 7.10pm) £3.50

DIRECTORY The Acupuncture Clinic 143 Portland Road, Hove 01273 722422 All Saints Church Hall Eaton Road, Hove Ian Kendall: 07900 193230 www.ik-taichi.com Anahata Health Clinic 119–120 Edward Street, Kemp Town, 01273 698687f Back2Balance 35 Goldstone Villas, Hove 01273 206 868 BE Pilates Studio 121 Eldred Ave, Westdene Carla: 01273 273074 Bodhi Garden Centre 7 Ship St Gardens, Brighton Call Richard 07796 331167 Brighthelm Community Centre North Road, Brighton Brighton Buddhist Centre 17 Tichborne Street, Brighton 01273 772090 Brighton Ki Centre 12 Queens Square, Brighton Barry: 07854 389606 Brighton Natural Health Centre Regent Street, Brighton 01273 600010 Brighton Reiki Centre Viaduct Road, Brighton 07968 982136 Cheetahs Boxing Gym Next King Alfred Centre, Kings Way, Hove. 01273 206644 Coast Chiropractic 198 Church Road, Hove, 01273 321144 Coral Health And Fitness Orchard Road, Hove 01273 731262 Cornerstone Community Centre Church Road, Hove The Dance Station Unit 4, 57 North Street, Portslade. 01273 419977 Davigdor Infants School Somerhill Road, Hove Bernie: 07799 097776 Dean’s Leisure Centre Longhill School Karen: 01273 305827 The Dharma School Ladies Mile Road, Patcham Diamond Way Buddhist Centre Montpelier Road, Brighton Ingrid: 07736 061108 Dorothy Stringer Sports Complex Loder Road, B’tn.

Info on 07895 066321.

Fitforall Unit 1, Portland Road Trading Estate, Hove, 01273 415515 Holistic Health Clinic 53 Beaconsfield Rd, Brighton 01273 696295 Johnson Page Healthcare Chiropractic & Medical Acupuncture, 15 Ship Street 01273 724777 King Alfred Leisure Centre Kingsway, Hove 01273 290290 Komaja Centre 21a Upper Market Street, Hove. Cela: 01273 771472 Leach Court Eastern Road, Brighton. Ian Kendall: 07900 193230 More Bar/Restaurant 98 Trafalgar Street, Brighton 07717 584738 Patcham Community Centre Ladies Mile Road, Patcham Peacehaven Leisure Centre Greenwich Way, Peacehaven, East Sussex 01273 588858 Revitalise (Planet Janet) 86 Church Road, Hove 01273 738389 St Mary Magdalen Community Centre 55 Upper North St, Brighton, 01273 676992 Unit 4 20–26 Roundhill St, Brighton Wendy Whatling School of Dance Unit 11a Dyke Road Mews, Brighton. wendywhat ling@btconnect.com

List for FREE in this section.

Email health events to editorial@thelatest.co.uk with the date, place, time and cost

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THE VAULT BAR BISTRO NEW SPRING/SUMMER MENU 2 COURSE LUNCH £7.95 TUES–THURS LIVE JAZZ EVERY WEDNESDAY RELAXED, MODERN & FRIENDLY DRINK EAT CHAT

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01273 730040 22 latest 7

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ANDREW KAY’S FOOD & DRINK

Open House farmers market

Sponsored by challenge of achieving flavoursome, wellcooked and aesthetically pleasing dishes within the two-hour time constraint. Recipes were only given to competitors 45 minutes before the start of the cook-off. They were also cooking in front of a host of photographers and film crews.

Armand says: “This is the most fantastic point in my career. I am just so thrilled and I look forward to every aspect of the year ahead. City College gave me an excellent grounding as a chef. My tutors spotted my potential and pushed me to my limits, which I’m now very grateful for.”

Michael Buckman, the programme area leader of City College’s Catering And Hospitality department says: “Armand was an outstanding student here and maintains strong links with the college. We’re delighted to see him win such a prestigious honour. This is great news for City College and it also shows that Brighton is producing some world-class chefs.”

Michel Roux, chairman of the judges, says: “All too often chefs focus on presentation to the detriment of flavour. Today, flavour triumphed, especially in Armand’s dishes. His flavours were superb – from the sauce, through to the soufflé, the beef and including the garnish. And we were lucky to have some of the finest beef fillet that anyone will have tasted.”

Armand works for Andre Garrett, the 2002 Roux Scholar, and this is the second time in the history of the competition that a previous Roux Scholar has nurtured one of his young chefs to reach the same high standard. As well as winning the all-important scholarship, Armand has won £3,000 cash, plus up to three months training at a three Michelinstarred establishment in Europe, and trips to New York, Champagne and Milan, as well as a host of other prizes for him and his employer.

Celebrating good eating and raising money for B&H Food Partnership How nice to see that some of my favourite things have got together in May. The Open House pub and Brighton and Hove Food Partnership are joining forces to hold an eventful street party and farmers market on the opening and closing days of the Brighton Festival. If you’re in the Fiveways area, trawling the many open houses on show during those weekends, make a diversion via the Open House pub and check out the events.

There will be an array of market stalls in the street outside the pub, offering local produce, arts and crafts and fine local wines. Local bands and Morris dancers will be entertaining the shoppers throughout the day and into the evening along with face painters, Hands On pottery and the Smoothie Bike Man will be there to keep the children entertained all day.

The Open House kitchen will be cooking up a barbecue and sample menu of the fresh produce offered by the stalls during the day, and a local wine merchant will be offering up some local samples to boot.

With the promise of fabulous weather and the newly refurbished garden you’ll be hard pushed to drag yourself away!

If that’s not enough to entice you, there will be two separate exhibitions on show at the Open House throughout the festival. The Fiveways Artist Group’s artwork – compiled especially for the festival – will be exhibited in the lounge room and a combined exhibition by local artists Emma Brownjohn, Becky Blair, Tiffany Lynch and Edwina Roberts will be on show in the upstairs function room.

Open House Farmers Market and Street Party, Saturday 5 May and Sunday 27 May. Market stalls open 12pm-5pm, entertainment 12pm-late

Passionate about property, fanatical about food 59 Church Road, Hove 01273 735237 www.callaways.co.uk

Brighton chef wins top prize Armand Sablon (26), a young Brighton chef who studied at City College Brighton and Hove, recently competed with five other finalists to carry off the title Roux Scholar 2007. The Roux Scholarship, which attracts applications from right across the UK catering industry, is widely respected as the most prestigious competition in the UK for young chefs aged 22-30. Armand’s interpretation of the classic dishes Escoffier Tournedos Rachel and Roux Bordelaise Sauce, together with a Macaroni Soufflé, clinched the award. His success was announced by Michel Roux at an awards ceremony in the presence of 300 culinary ‘glitterati’ at London’s Mandarin Oriental, Hyde Park.

The esteemed judging panel – Gary Rhodes, Brian Turner, Heston Blumenthal, David Nicholls and Andrew Fairlie – is headed by competition founders, Michel and Albert Roux, joined by their respective sons Alain and Michel Junior. As two of the other finalists had also competed with Armand in the 2006 finals, competition this year was particularly intense.

In the ‘cook-off’, under the watchful gaze of the judges, the six finalists chopped, diced, sliced, stirred and tasted. Tensions ran high, but tempers remained calm, as competitors were faced with the difficult

New Exciting Menus Dinner Menu (3 course) £25.00 Sunday to Thursday 6pm till close ~~~~~

Lunch Menu (2 course) £11.95 Sunday to Friday 12pm to 5pm Or choose from our à la Carte menu ~~~~~ Please visit our web site to view menus

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FOOD & DRINK

latest hot

The Gourmet Fish & Chip Company

LIST

The Gourmet Fish and Chip Company at Brighton Marina has taken the dish into the 21st century. Diners can enjoy fantastic top-grade fish and chips in a trendy diner environment and even enjoy a beer while they wait for their takeaway order. Check out the gourmet fish platter and lunch-time specials. The restaurant is located on the ground-floor level of the waterfront and is open seven days a week. Fully licensed.

The Walk of Fame, 18 Waterfront, Brighton Marina, 01273 670701 www.gourmetfishandchipcompany.com

RESTAURANTS & BARS

RESTAURANTS BRITISH AND MODERN EUROPEAN Bardsley’s Probably Brighton’s most popular fish and chip shop and restaurant with a large loyal clientele. Totally traditional and family-run with all your favourites, but also an excellent blackboard of daily fish specials.

They’re open for lunch and dinner Tuesday to Saturday and it’s also a great party venue. There are massive fish platters and good seasonal seafood. Fish can be fried, grilled or poached, plus vegetarian choices.

22–23a Baker Street, Brighton, 01273 681256

Blanch House The restaurant at Blanch House is an inhouse affair. All involved are dedicated to excellence in food, service and wines but with no pretensions. You can sit back and take pleasure in the relaxed atmosphere of dinner at your best friend’s house while enjoying innovative food, attentive and personal service, and superb wine and cocktail lists. The menu changes with the seasons and availability to ensure that only the freshest high-quality produce is used.

Meat, dairy products and other ingredients are locally sourced and organic where possible. Fish is from the local day boats when available.

17 Atlingworth Street, Brighton, 01273 603504, www.blanchhouse.co.uk

Café Belge Café Belge offers award-winning food (Café Belge Eastbourne received a gold star for food from the prestigious Harden’s Guide 2006) – 50 ways to eat a fresh mussel, salmon fishcakes, award-winning 12” wild boar and beer sausage, fresh sea bass, steak Béarnaise, Toblerone fondue, Belgian waffles – just to give you an insight into what to expect. They also stock more than 100 beers all served in their own glasses, from light and delicious fruit beers to Trapist Monk beers to Belgian Guinness as well as a fine wine list.

64 Kings Rd (corner of West St & seafront), 01273 733290, www.cafebelge.co.uk

The Coach House Friendly restaurant bar in the city centre serving an excellent range of hearty homecooked food, separate evening and lunch menus, and always a selection of roasts on Sunday. Great mussels, steaks, soups and a good wine list. In the winter a central open fire roars, in summer people soak up the late sun on the pretty terrace. The warm atmosphere and good value pricing make this a popular local haunt.

59 Middle Street, Brighton, 01273 719000 www.coachhousebrighton.com

New Steine Bistro Cosy French bistro with regular art exhibitions creating the perfect setting for the appreciation of traditional homemade French cuisine either with friends or for a romantic night out. A hidden gem in the heart of Kemp Town, and very reasonable too! With its daily evening menu at £10.50 weekdays and £14.50 Friday and Saturday.

A la carte menu Tuesday to Saturday 6pm to 10pm for last orders. Available for all celebrations and party bookings with tailormade menu to your needs including live entertainment.

12a New Steine, Brighton, 01273 681546 reservation@newsteinehotel.com www.newsteinehotel.com

Polar Bar East The Polar East is pleased to introduce the new spring/summer menu. Freshly cooked British and European food using locally sourced produce. Great local atmosphere.

Beer garden with barbecue. Main meals from £3. All meat is supplied by Brampton's Premium Butchers.

8 St George’s Road, Kemp Town, Brighton, 01273 683334

Ruby Tate’s Situated at the heart of cosmopolitan Kemp Town, Ruby Tate’s oyster and champagne bar really is the pearl of Brighton. From moules marinière to lobster Thermidor, this is a paradise for seafood lovers. The restaurant’s stylish décor and trademark friendly service ensure that diners enjoy the gourmet food and fine champagne in a relaxed, informal atmosphere.

40 St James’s Street, Brighton, 01273 693251 Terraces Bar, Grill and Dining Room

Sevendials Restaurant A smart restaurant in so many ways, excellent food and a sensible variety of menus in chic surroundings. Chef Sam runs a team of food-lovers who deliver time after time, from a simple lunch to a full à la carte dinner. Cooking reflects the seasons rather than fashion, and quality is paramount, with great locally caught fish, game in season and desserts that are a delight plus a wine list that is full of treats without being expensive too. Make the most of the terrace while the weather is warm or the private dining room for a treat.

1 Buckingham Place, Brighton, 01273 885555 www.sevendialsrestaurant.co.uk

The Terraces Bar, Grill and Dining Room Terraces bar and grill offers customers a relaxed approach to drinking, eating and hospitality. The lower level is available for private parties, wedding receptions, corporate events, Christmas parties, formal dinners or product launches. Whatever you want, you can be sure of an experience as consistently satisfying as the breathtaking views across Brighton seafront.

Madeira Drive, Brighton, 01273 570526, www.the-terraces.co.uk

GREEK Symposio Greek Taverna In a city with very few Greek eateries it’s great to find somewhere warm and inviting to indulge in some Greek food. From magnificent mezze to classic grilled meats, Symposio has a great taverna atmosphere and the lively style of the venue adds a great ambience to what can be a terrific party venue. Also fabulous for a romantic dinner, family outing or business meal. The moussaka is a must and also the deep red wine-soaked sausages and crisp calamari.

121 Western Road, Hove 01273 779474 www.ipanemarestaurants.com

INDIAN Nooris Indian Cuisine One of Brighton’s longest-standing Indian restaurants and justifiably so. Smart service and a menu that, as well as offering all our favourite dishes, has some interesting and unusual dishes on offer.

Great central location just off the seafront.

Portions are on the very generous side so order carefully. We have always been particularly impressed by the vegetarian menu, especially the malai kupta. Excellent breads and side dishes too. £6.95 for a twocourse meal and £11.95 for a three-course meal with wine.

70 Ship Street, Brighton 01273 329405

ITALIAN Donatello The flagship venue of this local family-run business serving excellent-value Italian food in stylish and spotless surroundings. It is popular with locals in the week but at the weekend it draws an audience from London. There are brilliant-value meal deals on blackboards outside – two courses £6.95, three £8.95 – as well as à la carte. The haunt of celebs in season from soap stars to politicos. Fun, friendly and fabulous value.

Brighton Place, Brighton, 01273 775477, www.donatello.co.uk

Fat Leo Supposedly the budget branch of the Donatello stable but you’d be hard-pressed to see why. Once again, quality family dining in the Italian mould but a little less expensive. Very popular with students and families with young children, Fat Leo has trendy interiors, including the toilets, and a menu that is utterly affordable with the company’s signature set-price boards proclaiming any two courses £5.95, any three courses £7.95.

16–17 Market Street, Brighton, 01273 325135

LATIN AMERICAN Las Iguanas Brazilian cooking has come to town and with it all the fun of the caipirinha. Spicy, fun and inexpensive, this Latin newcomer is already proving popular, especially the two-for-one cocktail deals and an excellent £7 two-course lunch menu. Whacky interiors and a cool cocktail bar give the place a carnival feel all the time and the staff are friendly and fun too. If you don’t know what cachaca is, then it’s time to find out.

7–8 Jubilee Street, Brighton, 01273 573550, www.iguanas.co.uk

SOUTH EAST ASIAN Bali Brasserie Located in a 1960s mansion block, this very popular Indonesian-Malaysian restaurant has a rijsttafel buffet dining menu at £16.95 with a wide and generous range of dishes that are constantly replenished. There is also an à la carte menu. Nice original retro décor, bamboo and cane, pink and gilt, with lots of oriental puppets, jazz playing and a friendly atmosphere. Very Simon Templar.

Kingsway Court, First Avenue, Hove, 01273 323810, 12-2pm, 6.30-10.30pm (till 11pm Friday and Saturday)

To have an entry in the latest hot list call 01273 818150 24 latest 7

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FOOD & DRINK SPANISH La Tapa De Oro This large upper room is home to great and authentic Spanish cooking. Tapas has been trendy for years but here the emphasis is on real Iberian food. Favourites include sweet slices of octopus on boiled potato slices dressed with olive oil, lovely ensalad Russe and great jamon Serrano. Informal and friendly, this is a great place for a romantic dinner, family outing, business meal or party.

123 Western Road, Hove 01273 779474 www.ipanemarestaurants.com

THAI Chokdee Possibly the first of its kind, this premium take-away offers fantastic-quality Thai food to your door if you use the home-delivery service or to take away if you are passing.

You can eat in too, as there is a stylish dining area. Counter service does away with additional service charges, so you can enjoy Thai food as often as you like without the fuss. At Chokdee it’s the food that’s the thing. Foodies – start the queue!

98 Goldstone Villas, Hove, 01273 720370, open every day (12pm–3pm and 5pm–11pm)

Sawadee The Thai restaurant that people love, for parties and celebrations, and because they always give the best of times. And why not; this well-priced restaurant pleases repeatedly with dishes we have all grown to love, and some new ones too. We were impressed by the use of authentic ingredients, such as pea aubergines where others use peas. Lots of fish dishes too with bass and pomfret and a great sliced beef salad.

87 St James’s Street, Brighton, 01273 624233, www.sawadeethai.co.uk

VEGETARIAN Revitalise (formerly Planet Janet) This popular and stylish Hove café restaurant offers delicious healthy hot and cold food in combination with being an excellent centre for therapies, treatments and classes. Healthy breakfasts, chunky sandwiches, soups, main meals, jacket potatoes and salads form the core of the menu. Freshly pressed fruit and vegetable juices in delicious revitalising combos, delicious fair-trade teas and coffee, vegan and gluten-free options. Open seven days a week, families welcome. You can eat for less than a fiver!

86 Church Road, Hove, 01273 738389, www.revitalise-u.com

The Bell This friendly, traditional pub reopened its doors at the end of last year after having undergone extensive refurbishment and is now under new ownership. Tucked away off Blatchington Road, it already has a name for itself for its great value food, freshly made every day from locally sourced products, including fantastic roasts on Sundays. The pub is child friendly and there’s often something extra going on, from quiz nights to live music. There’s also a function room available to hire and happy hours every Monday to Friday from 4-7pm.

15-17 Belfast Street, Hove, 01273 770773

The award-winning cocktail bar is located on the ground floor of the five-storey building and offers an eclectic range of superbly made cocktails. The owner, Chris Edwardes, has managed many renowned bars, restaurants and clubs in London, including the Groucho Club, The Pharmacy, as well as opening the Jazz Café, The Atlantic, and the Ge Club for Conran. His cocktail skills have been described as ’legendary’ by those in the know and with over 30 years’ experience in the industry it was only a matter of time before he opened his own quality venue.

17 Atlingworth Street, Brighton, 01273 603504, www.blanchhouse.co.uk

The Eagle Great atmosphere, warm welcome, good beer and above all, great food from this gastropub. Hearty, modern food inspired by global cuisine and sensibly priced – you won’t go home hungry or broke. Right in the heart of the North Laine, an excellent place for lunch or dinner. Voted Latest 7 Pub Of The Year.

125 Gloucester Road, Brighton, 01273 607765

GinGin Sophisticated cocktail chic at this stylish St James’s Street bar. Try one of the head barman’s innovative cocktails using unusual mixes and fresh herbs. Cool interiors and a warm and friendly atmosphere which, for once in a city that worships youth, is not ageist.

St James’s Street, Kemp Town, Brighton, 01273 671119

The Hop Poles Great central pub with off-the-wall décor and a loyal clientele of the city’s fashionable best. A fantastic menu of wellpriced food means it gets very busy and seats are at a premium, even in winter on the heated terrace, so get there early.

Excellent free-range meat is specially sourced, while vegetarians are well catered for too.

13 Middle Street, Brighton, 01273 710444

Koba Koba hosts a happy hour between 5pm and 7pm all week. Three bars over three floors with a dedicated team of mixologists. This venue stands as a flagship of quality in Brighton and has been nominated in the top ten bars/clubs in the UK by The Independent. Good beers, a sensible wine list and, of course, champagne for those special occasions or just the sheer love of it. The perfect venue for a private party or an atmospheric night out. Live music on Thursdays, DJs on the weekend. For free K-list membership go to the website.

135 Western Road, Brighton, 01273 720059, www.kobauk.com

Preston Park Tavern This stunning new gastro-pub is situated on Havelock Road in Fiveways. Fresh, locally sourced food is served seven days a week from the open-plan kitchen. A separate children’s menu is available in this totally non-smoking venue. It boasts a great range of real ales and lagers as well as a 17 bin wine list, all served by the glass or bottle.

88 Havelock Road, Brighton, 01273 542271

What’s cooking this week?

70 Simple Noodle Recipes Kit Chan The versatility and universal appeal of noodles makes this new recipe collection by Kit Chan a worthwhile investment for any kitchen.

A comprehensive introduction provides noodle know-how and full information on the exotic and exciting ingredients used in the recipes.These are quick and easy dishes that capture the unique oriental flavours of China, Japan and South-East Asia – the hardest part is stocking up on the ingredients beforehand! From vegetarian dishes and noodle soups to crisp pork meatballs and seafood noodle dishes, the variety on offer ensures you will never tire of creating simple meals with different types of noodles.

With 250 colour photographs and step-by-step instructions, this is a pleasing recipe guide for those who love their food savoury. And there’s a sweet surprise at the end too, with desserts such as Caramelized Apple and Rhubarb Noodle Pudding, Classic Noodle Pudding, and Fried Wontons and Ice Cream. Who said you can have too much of a good thing?

Zara Friend

Stir-fried Noodles with Wild Mushrooms Ingredients 350g/12oz broad flat egg noodles 45ml/3tbsp vegetable oil 115g/4oz rindless back or streaky bacon, cut into small pieces 225g/8oz wild mushrooms, trimmed and cut in half

115g/4oz garlic chives, snipped 225g/8oz bean sprouts 15ml/1tbsp oyster sauce 15ml/1tbsp soy sauce Salt and freshy ground black pepper Serves 4

1. Cook the noodles in a large saucepan of boiling water for about 3–4 minutes or until just tender. Drain, rinse under cold water and drain well.

2. Heat 15ml/1tbsp of the oil in a wok or large frying pan. Add the bacon and fry until golden.

3. Using a slotted spoon, transfer the cooked bacon to a small bowl and set aside until needed.

4. Add the rest of the oil to the wok or pan. When hot, add the mushrooms and fry for about 3 minutes. Add the garlic chives and bean sprouts to the wok and fry for 3 minutes, then add the drained noodles.

5. Season with salt, pepper, oyster sauce and soy sauce. Continue to stir-fry until the noodles are thoroughly heated through. Sprinkle the crispy bits of bacon on top and serve.

70 Simple Noodle Recipes, by Kit Chan, is out now published by Southwater Books, £4.99, ISBN 978-1-84476-431-0 Image: Southwater Books/Anness Publishing Ltd

BARS & PUBS

Blanch House

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FILM www.odeon.co.uk

0871 224 4007 Tuesday 24

Thursday 26

300 (15) 8.40 ALPHA DOG (15) 12.20, 3.15, 5.55, 8.45 BLADES OF GLORY (12A) 3.00, 5.30, 8.00 CURSE OF THE GOLDEN FLOWER (15) 12.55, 3.30, 6.10, 8.50 FRACTURE (15) 12.25, 3.10, 5.50, 8.40 MEET THE ROBINSONS (U) 1.00, 3.20 ME BEAN’S HOLIDAY (PG) 12.10, 2.30, 4.30, 6.45, 9.00 SHOOTER (15) 5.35 SUNSHINE (15) 12.15, 2.45, 5.45 THE LIVES OF OTHERS (15) 12.00 WILD HOGS (12A) 1.00, 3.30, 6.00, 8.30 DIRECTOR’S CHAIR: 9TH COMPANY (15) 8.15

300 (15) 8.40 ALPHA DOG (15) 12.20, 3.15, 5.55, 8.45 BLADES OF GLORY (12A) 3.00, 5.30, 8.00 CURSE OF THE GOLDEN FLOWER (15) 12.55, 3.30, 6.10, 8.50 FRACTURE (15) 12.25, 3.10, 5.50, 8.40 MEET THE ROBINSONS (U) 1.00, 3.20 ME BEAN’S HOLIDAY (PG) 12.10, 2.30, 4.30, 6.45, 9.00 SHOOTER (15) 5.35 SUNSHINE (15) 12.15, 2.45, 5.45, 8.15 THE LIVES OF OTHERS (15) 12.00 WILD HOGS (12A) 1.00, 3.30, 6.00, 8.30 SENIOR SCREEN: AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH (U) 10.30am

Wednesday 25 300 (15) 8.40 ALPHA DOG (15) 12.20, 3.15, 5.55, 8.45 BLADES OF GLORY (12A) 3.00, 5.30, 8.00 CURSE OF THE GOLDEN FLOWER (15) 12.55, 3.30, 6.10, 8.50 FRACTURE (15) 12.25, 3.10, 5.50, 8.40 MEET THE ROBINSONS (U) 1.00, 3.20 ME BEAN’S HOLIDAY (PG) 12.10, 2.30, 4.30, 6.45, 9.00 SHOOTER (15) 5.35 SUNSHINE (15) 12.15, 2.45, 5.45, 8.15 THE LIVES OF OTHERS (15) 12.00 WILD HOGS (12A) 1.00, 3.30, 6.00, 8.30

Films showing Friday 27–Monday 30 300 (15) ALPHA DOG (15) BLADES OF GLORY (12A) CURSE OF THE GOLDEN FLOWER (15) FRACTURE (15) MEET THE ROBINSONS (U) MR. BEAN’S HOLIDAY (PG) THE HITCHER (18) SUNSHINE (15) WILD HOGS (12A) PLEASE CHECK WITH CINEMA BEFORE TRAVELLING

www.picturehouses.co.uk

01273 626261 Tuesday 24

Saturday 28

HALF NELSON (15) 3.30, 6.00 HAXAN – GEOFF SMITH LIVE (15) 9.00 THE LIVES OF OTHERS (15) 12.30

CURSE OF THE GOLDEN FLOWER (15) 1.00 THIS IS ENGLAND (18) 3.30 KID’S CLUB: CHARLOTTE’S WEB (U) 11.00am

Wednesday 25

Sunday 29

HALF NELSON (15) 11.00, 4.30, 7.00 THE LIVES OF OTHERS (15) 1.30, 9.30

BEAT GIRL (12) 1.00 CURSE OF THE GOLDEN FLOWER (15) 6.00 THIS IS ENGLAND (18) 3.30, 9.00

Thursday 26 HALF NELSON (15) 3.30, 9.00 THE LIVES OF OTHERS (15) 12.30, 6.00

Friday 27 CURSE OF THE GOLDEN FLOWER (15) 1.00, 6.00 THIS IS ENGLAND (18) 3.30, 9.00 LATE SHOW: FREAKS (12) 11.30pm

Monday 30 CURSE OF THE GOLDEN FLOWER (15) 1.00, 6.00 THIS IS ENGLAND (18) 3.30, 9.00 PLEASE CHECK WITH CINEMA BEFORE TRAVELLING

www.cineworld.co.uk

01273 818094 Tuesday 24

Thursday 26

300 (15) 12.40, 3.20, 6.00, 8.50 BLADES OF GLORY (12A) 11.50, 2.30, 4.50, 7.10, 9.30 CURSE OF THE GOLDEN FLOWER (15) 3.00, 5.50, 8.40 FRACTURE (15) 1.30, 4.10, 6.45, 9.20 MEET THE ROBINSONS (U) 12.00 MR BEAN’S HOLIDAY (PG) 1.20, 3.50, 6.10, 8.30 SHOOTER (15) 4.00, 9.10 SUNSHINE (15) 1.40, 6.50 THE REAPING (15) 12.20, 2.40, 5.00, 7.20, 9.40 WILD HOGS (12A) 11.40, 2.00, 4.20, 6.40, 9.00

300 (15) 12.40, 3.20, 6.00, 8.50 BLADES OF GLORY (12A) 11.50, 2.30, 4.50, 7.10, 9.30 CURSE OF THE GOLDEN FLOWER (15) 3.00, 5.50, 8.40 FRACTURE (15) 1.30, 4.10, 6.45, 9.20 MEET THE ROBINSONS (U) 12.00 MR BEAN’S HOLIDAY (PG) 1.20, 3.50, 6.10, 8.30 SHOOTER (15) 4.00, 9.10 SUNSHINE (15) 1.40, 6.50 THE REAPING (15) 12.20, 2.40, 5.00, 7.20, 9.40 WILD HOGS (12A) 11.40, 2.00, 4.20, 6.40, 9.00

Wednesday 25 300 (15) 12.40, 3.20, 6.00, 8.50 BLADES OF GLORY (12A) 11.50, 2.30, 4.50, 7.10, 9.30 CURSE OF THE GOLDEN FLOWER (15) 3.00, 5.50, 8.40 FRACTURE (15) 1.30, 4.10, 6.45, 9.20 MEET THE ROBINSONS (U) 12.00 MR BEAN’S HOLIDAY (PG) 1.20, 3.50, 6.10, 8.30 SHOOTER (15) 4.00, 9.10 SUNSHINE (15) 1.40 THE REAPING (15) 12.20, 2.40, 5.00, 7.20, 9.40 WILD HOGS (12A) 11.40, 2.00, 4.20, 6.40, 9.00

Films showing Friday 27–Monday 30 300 (15) BLADES OF GLORY (12A) CURSE OF THE GOLDEN FLOWER (15) FRACTURE (15) MEET THE ROBINSONS (U) MR BEAN’S HOLIDAY (PG) SHOOTER (15) SUNSHINE (15) THE REAPING (15) WILD HOGS (12A) PLEASE CHECK WITH CINEMA BEFORE TRAVELLING

Worthing Cinema

Tue 24

01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk please call for times

Fri 27-30

HANNIBAL RISING (18) 300 (15) PLEASE CHECK WITH CINEMA BEFORE TRAVELLING

26 latest 7

Also showing...

A quick look at all this week’s releases 300 (15) Dir: Zack Snyder Based on Frank Miller’s graphic comic 300 concerns the 480 BC Battle of Thermopylae in which 300 Spartans fought against a 100,000strong Persian army. Pure proto-fascism mixed in with a sweaty dollop of homoeroticism. (3/5) Showing at Cineworld, Odeon, and Worthing 9th Company (15) Dir: Fyodor Bondarchuk This Russian military epic is both bloody and sombre. Following the ill-advised invasion of Afghanistan in the 1980s, the film focuses on a young set of recruits struggling to justify their fighting for a country that would soon cease to exist. Brutal but authentic. (3/5) Showing at Odeon Alpha Dog (15) Dir: Nick Cassavetes A dire but finely polished thriller, this new film from Cassavetes, son of infamous cult director John, documents the life and crimes of Jesse James Hollywood, the youngest person ever to be on the FBI’s most wanted list. Justin Timberlake stars alongside Bruce Willis in this grimy, pimped-out indulgence. (3/5) Showing at Odeon An Inconvenient Truth (U) Dir: Davis Guggenheim This slick but vital documentary follows former vice president Al Gore as he spreads his message of global warming. Not exactly a thrilling experience, but this remains an essential film for our modern world and has helped propel the environmental debate centre stage in recent months. (4/5) Showing at Odeon Beat Girl (12) Dir: Edmond T Gréville With the superbly trashy tag line ‘My mother was a stripper… I want to be a stripper too’, this 1960 camp classic gets a rare big screen outing. With a penchant for jazz and sordid rock ‘n’ roll, this is a flimsy but incredibly endearing slice of rebellion propaganda. With a debut appearance by Oliver Reed and a young Christopher Lee, this is British cinema at its most puerile and immediate. (4/5) Showing at Duke Of York’s Blades Of Glory (12A) Dir: Josh Gordon and Will Speck This farcical comedy based around the theatrics and camp wonder of professional figure skating stars Will Ferrell and Jon Heder.

After being banned from the sport, Olympic rivals Ferrell and Heder team up as the first all-male duo. Inevitably madness, mishaps, and general silliness ensue. (3/5) Showing at Cineworld and Odeon Charlotte’s Web (U) Dir: Gary Winick This recent adaptation of EB White’s classic tale is high on special effects and boasts a voice cast of the highest order with the likes of Steve Buscemi, Julia Roberts, John Cleese, Oprah Winfrey, and Robert Redford providing their vocal talents to a variety of farmyard animals. Cute stuff, but the saccharine sentiment is ever present. (2/5) Showing at Duke Of Yorks Curse Of The Golden Flower (15) Dir: Yimou Zhang Set in 10th century China, on the eve of the Chong Yang Festival, this is epic melodrama at its most ornate and indulgent. The most expensive film ever to come out of China, the grandiose theatrics on display may be impressive, but they cloud the narrative. (3/5) Showing at Duke of York’s, Cineworld and Odeon

Freaks (12) Dir: Tod Browning This 1932 oddity is a much lauded classic of the horror genre. Telling the story of a beautiful trapeze artist who marries the leader of a circus of ‘freaks’, this is a deft and often shocking portrait of physical deformity. A film that certainly lives up to the promise inherent in the title. (4/5) Showing at Duke of York’s Half Nelson (15) Dir: Ryan Fleck Ryan Gosling delivers an Oscar-nominated performance in this charming but brutal tale of class, drugs, sex, and friendship. Gosling plays a Brooklyn history teacher whose unorthodox methods make him more popular with his students than his principal. Out of class he tries to numb his idealism with drugs, sex and alcohol until his two worlds collide. Shareeka Epps gives a subtle but powerful performance as Gosling’s accidental confidante. (4/5) Showing at Duke of York’s Hannibal Rising (18) Dir: Peter Webber Hannibal the cannibal gets squeezed for his final dollar in this shameful instalment.

Gaspard Ulliel delivers an MTV performance as the teenage Hannibal as he develops his first taste for human flesh. (2/5) Showing at Worthing Theatres The Lives Of Others (15) Dir: Florian Henckel von Donnersmark Donnersmarck’s astounding movie debut focuses on the horrifying system of observation in the former East Germany in the early 1980s. Winner of Best Foreign Language Film at this year’s Oscars, this is a superb film with an evocative portrayal of love, loss, and personal liberty. (4/5) Showing at Duke Of York’s and Odeon Meet The Robinsons (U) Dir: Stephen J Anderson Another animated adventure from Disney finds the usual mix of thrills, spills, and general nausea. This time the story focuses on a young inventor and his battle to save the world. The big name voices are noticeably absent but the film retains a unique style that follows The Incredibles a bit too closely. (2/5) Showing at Cineworld and Odeon Mr Bean’s Holiday (PG) Dir: Steve Bendelack Mr Bean returns with his goofy ways as he travels to the south of France. Traditional British slapstick fun. (3/5) Showing at Cineworld and Odeon Shooter (15) Dir: Antoine Fuqua Mark Wahlberg plays an assassin on the run in this slick but dated tale of intrigue, doublecrossing, and revenge. Danny Glover and the excellent Ned Beatty also star. (2/5) Showing at Cineworld and Odeon Sunshine (15) Dir: Danny Boyle Set 50 years into the future, this sci-fi epic sees Danny Boyle resurrect a genre that hasn’t been at full strength since the heady days of Aliens or Outlander. (4/5) Showing at Cineworld and Odeon Wild Hogs (12A) Dir: Walt Becker Defiantly oddball cinema with John Travolta, Tim Allen, William H Macy, and Martin Lawrence. This is a somewhat acquired taste and hits just as often as it misses in its defiantly eccentric meandering. (2/5) Showing at Cineworld and Odeon

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FILM

L7 lowdown King of England New releases reviewed

7 Selects

This Is England (18)

Director Shane Meadows Set in 1983 this coming-of-age story follows the life of troubled 12-year-old Shaun (the superb Thomas Turgoose) who lives at home with his mother after his father was killed in the Falklands War. After meeting a bunch of local skinheads his life takes on a thrilling new slant as girls, parties, and friendships take hold. Things turn sour when a racist skinhead (an excellent if chilling turn from Stephen Graham) returns from prison and Shaun is drawn into uncomfortable territory. There is no cloying modesty, here only hard truths, gentle humour, and a thrilling confidence.

Craig Driver Showing at Duke Of York’s Duke Of York’sShowing at Duke Of York’s

The Hitcher (18)

Fracture (15)

Director Gregory Hoblit This arcane tale of an assistant DA and his cat-and-mouse struggle with an elusive businessman is pure cinematic tripe. After attempting to murder the DA’s wife, evil mastermind Ted Crawford (Anthony Hopkins) is released on a technicality. The DA (the usually reliable Ryan Gosling) then attempts to nail Crawford for his crimes before it’s too late. With a series of vague Hitchcockian pretensions and utterly risible one liners this is defiantly terrible stuff. Hopkins should know better and is quickly nailing the lid shut in the coffin of his career, while the direction of Hoblit is mediocre at best.

Boring, daft, and dull, this is Hollywood cinema crawling blindly into obscurity.

Showing at Cineworld and Odeon

Häxan (15)

Director Benjamin Christensen A searing documentary detailing the practices of witchcraft told through a series of slide shows, film clips, amateur dramatics, and ghoulish fun.

Banned here for nearly 30 years, the film, with its horrifying claim to authenticity and vivid collection of misfits and miscreants, delivers more true chills and icy terror than the majority of modern day slasher flicks.

The film company behind The Blair Witch Project took its name from this shady classic and borrowed more than a few tricks too. Catch this rarely seen film while you can.

Showing at Dukes of York’s howing at

Director Dave Meyers Twenty years on, the 80s slasher horror starring Rutger Hauer gets remade for the iPod generation. Gone is the scary Dutchman and in comes the always gruff but far less scary Brit Sean Bean.

The story remains the same as a young couple travel across America on spring break, only to encounter the murderous and devious hitcher. As the couple struggle to keep their lives and reputations intact, the whole film takes on a heady mix of gore, terror, and heavy metal songs. Why this film exists except as an exercise in commercial profiteering is a mystery. Without ever truly being scary this sad little film is a true horror show.

Showing at Odeon

The Reaping (15) Director Stephen Hopkins This generic but decidedly ambitious film follows a former Christian missionary (an overly serious Hilary Swank) who specialises in debunking religious phenomena, as she investigates a small town which seems to be suffering from the ten biblical plagues. Cue special effects as rivers turn to blood and locusts descend from the sky. The production values are low and the script, often weighed down by religious dogma, is banal at best. Swank delivers a mediocre performance in a film that falters under the ridiculous nature of its central premise.

Showing at Cineworld

Helen Jack examines the life and career of Shane Meadows as his new film This Is England is released

Turning his back on the onslaught of banality that has emerged in the form of the all-to-common British gangster flick, from the minds of Guy Ritchie (Snatch, Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels) and Nick Love (The Football Factory, The Business), Shane Meadows has produced some brilliant pieces of work that have managed to inject some hope into our flailing film industry.

Meadows began filmmaking in his early twenties while living in Nottingham, funding his creative projects with benefit money and affording himself the thrifty luxury of a non-professional cast made up of friends and acquaintances. Making numerous short films on a budget of virtually zero, the director proved himself to be in it for the creative rewards rather than the pay cheque, which eventually propelled him into enrolling on a performing arts course at Burton Technical College where he met the talented Paddy Considine. The pair teamed up for the first time as Considine gave an outstanding performance in Meadows’ hugely underrated film, A Room for Romeo Brass (1999) which later led to his lead role in Dead Man’s Shoes (2004) which proved simultaneously to be a critical and box office success (a rare occurrence) and secured the director a foothold in the industry. The film itself, with its Taxi Driver leanings and brutal, but deft, plot, has recently become a bit of an institution among young British filmmakers.

Gliding into the stream of his ‘kitchen sink’ predecessors, Meadows has followed the lead of veteran British filmmakers such as Ken Loach and Mike Leigh, while holding his own and proving himself as a contemporary director that could document the political struggles of the 1980s, where he learnt his most important adolescent lessons in identity and social positioning. His latest film, This is England, explores the disillusionment of the skinheads that roamed the streets and council estates of Thatcher’s England in 1983, looking at the fractured societies that formed in an ever-growing multi-cultural nation, and one affected by war. Based on autobiographical insights, the film looks at both sides of the struggle and attempts to give its audience an informed picture of a problem that is often looked at from the safety of middle class comfort and ignorance.

While being a consummate professional and a rare talent, it remains Meadows’ modesty that is so often profound and deeply moving, and sets him apart from his contemporaries. Never one to suggest that he is anything more than a filmmaker trying to reflect something personal, Meadows effortlessly draws his audience into his own distinctive world of complex characters and environment without the slightest hint of pretension or moral high ground. Shane Meadows has been put on a pedestal by critics, and heralded as the saviour of British cinema – a huge burden for anyone to carry. But is the future so dim? With Andrea Arnold’s debut feature, Red Road (2006) and the films of Lynne Ramsay (Ratcatcher, Morvern Callar) proving to be examples of mature filmmaking, perhaps there is hope for this country’s film industry yet.

With the release of This Is England we finally have a film that refuses to pander to the American dollar and takes pride and pleasure in the complexities of an England born from experience, pain, and pride, and is not simply from the floral pen and parchment of Richard Curtis.

This Is England is on general release from 27 April Shane Meadows

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MUSIC

THE BIG GIG

THIS WEEK Deep Purple Formed in 1968 with Rod Evans on vocals, the classic Purple line up of Blackmore, Paice, Gillan, Lord and Glover took shape in 1970, releasing a string of no-nonsense hard rock and proto-metal albums and one big hit, ‘Black Night’.

It didn’t last long though, Gillan and then Blackmore leaving before the band fully imploded in 1976. They did resurface for a few years in the mid-80s and today the three members of the classic quintet (Paice, Gillan and Glover) have been supplemented by Steve Morse on guitar and Don Airey on keyboards.

A rare chance to see a genuinely legendary and hugely successful hard rock band. Whether or not they play that wretched ‘Smoke On The Water’ remains to be seen though…

Sun 29 April, Brighton Centre, 0870 900 9100

Australian Pink Floyd

Babyshambles Pete Doherty and band hit the road. What state they will be in when they arrive here, God only knows…

Sun 25 November, Brighton Centre, 0870 900 9100

Latest 7’s Top 5 records Arctic Monkeys Favourite Worst Nightmare (album Domino) Hard to gauge how this band will do second time around – their strippeddown, basic rock’n’roll tuneage is largely a continuation of the first album.

It is perhaps the rawness, yet classic blues structures that explains part of the appeal. They also still have a knack for pop hooks and big riffs and with the resonating and reverb- drenched spoken vocal of Alex, married to a tremendous mosh-inducing dynamism and a subversive finger to the industry machine, well, it’s easy now to see what all the fuss is about.

1

Black Rebel Motorcycle Club Baby 81 (album Drop The Gun Recordings/Island)) Another superb lesson in Stooges/garage/sleaze rock dynamics with a bit more of modern Primal Scream and Jesus & The Mary Chain thrown in.

2

Maria McKee Late December (album Cooking Vinyl) Extraordinary musical vision from McKee with homages to Bowie, Dusty Springfield, Patti Smith and Queen. There’s country, glam, rock, music hall and sixties-style lounge here. A unique talent.

3

Tom McRae Kings Of Cards (album Polydor) Fourth album from superb singer-songwriter with another raft of intelligently crafted tunes.

4

Ash Then & Now (album Infectious) Crunching and fuzzed-up guitar blasts of pop from these veterans of the Brit pop scene back in the 1990s.

5

The inexorable rise of tribute bands continues apace. I could never really figure out the appeal of them, but I suppose I wouldn’t know as I have never ever been to one except to see this lot.

All I can say is that I can imagine tribute bands playing better versions than the actual original performers, because usually they copy it note for note, just like the records, which is often how fans want it.

The Australian Pink Floyd are an exception in that they do embellish Pink Floyd material a bit, but not enough to annoy punters who are generally there to hear how it sounds on record, and to re-live their gig-going years. They also have a sense of humour, incorporating a huge kangaroo within their live shows…

Mon 30 April, Brighton Centre, 0870 900 9100

The Copper Family The Copper Family have worked in and around Rottingdean for centuries. In 1897, a Mrs Kate Lee collected the songs from James ‘Brasser’ Copper and his younger brother Tom that would inspire the formation of the English Folk Song Society. In 1936, James’s son, Jim wrote the words of the family songs into a book. And, in 1950, Jim heard one of their songs sung on the radio. Persuaded by his son Bob, he wrote to the radio show in question, and from there the Copper family were re-discovered, the rich Sussex harmonies of Jim, Bob, Jim’s brother John and son Ron filling the airwaves. Now another generation of Coppers are out singing regularly again.

Mon 30 April, The Greys, Brighton, 01273 680734

For music listings see our day-to-day guide starting on page 39 28 latest 7

If you would like your event listed please email listings@thelatest.co.uk

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3:16 PM

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MUSIC

BRIGHTON SCENE

THE MONTH AHEAD

A weekly round-up of what’s happening in the local Brighton and Sussex music scene

3 by 5

Brighton is really quite an extraordinary place when it comes to music making.

You can find anything you want here, all genres, sub-genres, micro-genres and genres that don’t even exist yet. And although it is better known as a place for the alternative and experimental, there is also a place for more traditional and classic song writing. And this is what 3 by 5 (Tues 24 April, Joogleberry) do: write polished, classic pop songs with a retro-soul edge. Featuring three brothers within the five piece (hence the name of the band), they are launching their debut single (‘Mr. Nice Guy’) on South Coast Records at this gig. We never tire of old style class, and on that basis, plus a clutch of great Stars of Aviation songs, they could go very far…

Getting back to the weird and wonderful, Stars of Aviation (Tues 24 April, Sussex Arts Club) head up a bill of leftfield pop, alt-country and generally melancholic loveliness. They love their French pop, it seems, and a bit of folk as well. Also on the bill are Blanket, a very surreal three-piece who make childlike lo-fi folktronica-style tunes of simplicity, while Diamond Family Archive are quite possibly the most downbeat and melancholy band in all of England. All three make me want to curl up in the fetal position, and lie in front of my parents’ roaring fire while being read a bedtime story…

On the release front, there’s Kate Walsh an intriguing offering from the classically trained pianist turned acoustic singer-songwriter Kate Walsh. She recorded an album, Tim’s House, for next to nothing, released via her own label, and largely through word of mouth, her MySpace site (and some helpful iTunes marketing sass), the album made number one in the iTunes download chart and have been flying through the portals of cyberland. It’s full of whimsical, laid-back songs, many about growing up in the Norfolk fishing village of Burnham-on-Crouch. Major labels are apparently queuing around the block…

The monthly Albert Sessions (Sun 29 April, Prince Albert) provides a live outlet for winners of the BBC South:Live demo The Telegraphs competitions. This month sees the energetic ska, rock and dub hybrid of Fitsroy meet up with the rockier sounds of The Telegraphs who draw influences from the likes of Idlewild, Radiohead, Constantines, Hope Of The States and Jeff Buckley.

Send your music and news to Jeff Hemmings, Music Editor, Latest 7, Unit 1, Level 5, New England House, New England Street, Brighton BN1 4GH. Listen to Jeff and guests from the Latest magazine stable on the Latest Live show on Radio Reverb, Mon–Fri, 46pm, 97.2FM or via www.radioreverb.com

latest 7 on the radio Tune into RadioReverb 97.2FM Mon-Fri, 4-6pm, for the latest music, art, culture, politics, community and entertainment news, with Jeff Hemmings and guests.

If you would like your event listed please email listings@thelatest.co.uk

Simon Kirke Legendary drummer with Free and Bad Company, he’s played on some monster hits in his time including ‘All Right Now’ and ‘Can’t Get Enough’. An accomplished multi-instrumentalist, he’ll be turning in an intimate show playing guitar and piano, telling stories and singing songs from his Free and Bad Company days, as well as introducing his own melodic songs, some of which came out on his debut solo album a couple of years ago!

Thurs 3 May, Komedia, Brighton, 01273 647100

Win Great Escape Tickets Do you want to access over 150 bands in over 15 venues over the course of three days? Of course you do! Here’s your chance to win a pair of tickets that will enable you to see some of the best and most promising bands and singer-songwriters from around the world at The Great Escape Festival, 17-19 May in Brighton. The winners will also get guest passes for The Magic Numbers gig which takes place as part of the festival. All you have to do is answer the following question. What famous American actor took the lead role in the film The Great Escape? Answer please to: Great Escape Competition, Unit 1, Level 5, New England House, New England Street, Brighton BN1 4GH. You must include a daytime telephone number with your answer. Deadline: 1 May 2007. Winners will be informed The Magic Numbers

by Wednesday 3 May.

NOWBOOKING James Burton and Billy Swan 7 May, Concorde 2 Chris Difford 8 May, Komedia The loveGods 10 May, Komedia Shooglenifty 11 May, Komedia The Great Escape 17-19 May, various venues in Brighton, www.escapegreat.com Willy Mason 18 May, Pavilion Theatre Tom McRae 20 May, Concorde 2 Ray Davies 26 May, Brighton Centre G4 24 May, Brighton Centre Girls Aloud 29 May, Brighton Centre Pet Shop Boys 30 May, Brighton Centre Manic Street Preachers 6 June, B’ton Dome CocoRosie 12 June, Komedia, Brighton

Allen Toussaint 15 June, Brighton Dome INXS 17 June, Brighton Dome Ronan Keating 21 June, Stanmer Park Devo 18 June, Brighton Dome The Best of OMD 22 June, Brighton Dome Blackmore’s Night 23 June, Brighton Dome Jools Holland & Lulu 23 June, Borde Hill Garden, Haywards Heath Royal Philharmonic 24 June, Stanmer Park Don McLean 23 Oct, Brighton Centre Ian Hunter 30 Oct, Komedia, Brighton Dio, lommi, Butler and Appice 11 Nov, Brighton Centre Babyshambles 25 Nov, Brighton Centre From The Jam 21 Dec, Brighton Centre

latest 7 29

030_LS318_RR/Molly

4/20/07

11:06 AM

Page 2

RADIOREVERB

Foxy Mamma Malone Malone bemoans leaving windows open in summer in our flat-intensive city

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latest soup Brighton’s favourite magazine dishes up a tasty broth of chat, music and interviews Hosted by Latest 7’s music commander Jeff Hemmings with new tunes, old classics and hot local talent. Tune in Monday to Friday 4-6pm

every Monday 4-6pm...

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Latest Art’s Colette Meacher gets stuck into the arts scene every Wednesday 4-6pm...

Latest Sounds with top live guests every Thursday 4-6pm...

From Arnie to art house, Craig Driver + guests catch up with the latest talk on the big screen

I’m not looking forward to summer because it means my neighbours will open their windows. Not the neighbours above me, I love them. I ring them asking what tune they’re playing and can they turn it up. No, I mean the others. They have a dog. Say no more, I hear you say. Not just any dog but a little yippy dog. It comes out to the patio area below my baby’s bedroom to do its toilet and yips loudly, usually as I’m just trying to settle her to sleep.

The first day they moved in, the only reason I discovered I had new neighbours, was this barking dog. Hours it barked. Not a deep loud bark, more a squealing yip.I looked out of my bedroom window and saw a few feet below me in their patio, (you know what these Brighton converted flats are like) a scrawny little terrier dog. It was the height of summer – 80 degrees – and they’d left it no water that I could see. My initial thoughts of throwing it some poisoned steak dissipated into feeling sorry for it.

Poor thing. I’m not a dog lover, mind – I don’t see the point of owning a pet. Maybe if I lived in 17th century rural Wales, on a farm, maybe I’d get it then. But in a basement flat in Brighton in the noughties? I figure if you need companionship, make friends. Seems to me people have pets because pets have to love you, unlike other relationships which require effort. Pets love unconditionally and don’t answer back: a vast improvement on kids and partners!

“They were doing it not just at bedtime like good law-abiding Christians – doing it in the daytime!”

Everything about pets annoys me, the very fact that they will always need feeding and faeces dealing with. At least with kids you know one day they will grow out of all that (the faeces, not the feeding. Oh no.

What if one day my child wants a cat or dog?). Anyway, the neighbours eventually came back from watching the World Cup, and let him in. Ahh, peace. But no. They then had to throw a party to celebrate moving in, spending the whole night on the patio below my room, talking rubbish, chain smoking, which drifted into my bedroom (it’s only feet away!). I got up shouting, “Shut up you selfish bleeping bleeps!” I didn’t actually say bleep, I used real swear words that started with ‘f’ and yes, indeed, the big ‘c’. I didn’t care it was 3am – I was 9 months pregnant and I didn’t want to inhale their fag smoke or listen to their nonsense any more. I couldn’t go out partying any more, so why, dammit, should anyone else?

If that wasn’t enough they then had to christen every room, in the way that couples do when they move into a new place. Every day for months they were christening the bedroom. They weren’t ‘christening’ anymore, they were rubbing my face in it now. Doing it twice a day every day, and not just at bedtime like good law-abiding Christians – doing it in the daytime! If I can hear them doing that, then I guess they can hear me fart and sing out of tune. Great. Can’t wait for summer…

For comments and chit chat email editorial@thelatest.co.uk

and every Friday 4-6pm...

Join Latest Homes’ resident fat boy Andrew Kay with his extra special guests from the worlds of theatre, food and drink Listen live at radioreverb.com or get in touch by emailing studio@radioreverb.com 30 latest 7

Crossword solutions Solution to Cryptic 89 ACROSS: 5 Star 7 Complacent 8 Eric 10 Dethrone 11 Permed 12 Redcar 14 Pounds 16 Prints 17 Windmill 19 Toys 21 Wonderland 22 Plan.

DOWN: 1 Ache 2 Specimen 3 Landed 4 Better 5 Stir 6 Abundantly 9 Rhetorical 13 Daintily 15 Skinny 16 Pullet 18 Dawn 20 Side.

Solution to Quick 89 ACROSS: 5 Baby 7 Bluebottle 8 Emma 10 Navigate 11 Alpine 12 Second 14 Street 16 Bamboo 17 Pregnant 19 Deed 21 Peculiarly 22 Stye.

DOWN: 1 Able 2 Gelatine 3 Lounge 4 Stoves 5 Berg 6 Buttonhole 9 Militarist 13 Comedian 15 Trance 16 Battle 18 Gape 20 Days. © Crossword Shop

For coverage in this magazine email editorial@thelatest.co.uk

031_LS318_barsbarreview/clubs

4/20/07

10:56 AM

Page 3

BARS &CLUBS

★Latest 7 explores the karma at The World’s End It is easy to overlook London Road’s bars in the canon of Brighton’s boozeries. But over the past nine months there’s been a pubbing revolution happening here.

The World’s End is a pub that is never standing still, and Richard, the manager, does a sterling job. The welcome you receive from him and his staff is always warm and friendly. There are drinks promos every day from 6pm–9pm and an excellent new menu and a no-smoking area and comfy sofas to fully enjoy it in. Every Wednesday is film night with a newish film at 9pm and a classic at 6pm. The pub games range from the traditional – pool and darts – to the ancient: carrom, the Indian disc board game. Thursday sees quiz night and Friday brings the excellent blues/rock/funk/soul deejaying of Vinyl Lives. Every first and third Sunday showcases local talent with an open mic night. Free wi fi and seating outside makes it a great place to sup a pint as you check your email.

Frankie the buddha casts a serene presence over proceedings and his karmic energies have helped the pub win the All Bar None Bar of the Year Award. The World’s End – redefining London Road drinking.

Viva la revolution!

Eliot de Brouillard The World’s End is at 60–61 London Road, Brighton, BN1 4JE, 01273 692311

THIS WEEK AND THE MONTH AHEAD Temple Hedz and System 7 @ Concorde2 Somewhere, in a field deep in Glastonbury, covered in a thousand roaches and stomped flat by the DMs of a million dread-heads, there’ll be a corner that’s forever System 7. Now the elder statesmen of the psy-trance scene, they were busy marrying Timothy Leary samples and spidery guitar lines to pounding techno long before the current crop of fluoro kids donned their trance pants. Tonight Steve and co will be taking a keen Brighton audience to deep space with a formidable live show, while able support comes from the equally interstellar Banco de Gaia.

Concorde 2, Madeira Drive, Thursday 26 April, 9pm–2am, £15/£12.

DJ Yoda @ The Zap After passing out from the rucksack ‘n’ baseball cap hip hop fraternity to the rank of proper party DJ with his canny cut and paste albums, DJ Yoda has been making clubbers across the world extremely happy with his scratchy-scratchy live show. Expect rap bangers and tongue in cheek cheese served up in equal amounts and punctuated along the way by some stunning AV action.

The Zap, 189–192 Kings Road Arches, 27 April, 11pm–3am, £10

Obsession @ The Beach At one time the average Guardian reader’s token hip hop artist of choice (through no fault of her own) Ms Dy-na-mite-e-e has had a rough time of it recently, which has hopefully toughened up her sound in time for this Brighton club date. Bringing the noise for the rest of the night will be Beach club regulars Rampage and Outbreak playing hip hop and garage to a clued-up crowd.

The Beach, 171–181 Kings Road Arches, 27 April, 11pm–3am, £8 before 11.30

Wrong Music @ Volks At the end of May comes National Noise Day (apparently), so prepare to endure lashings of the loud stuff when Wrong Music turn everything up to 11 and let you lot deal with the consequences. On the dance side there’s the usual splatterbreaks and grindcore merchants, while the punk/metal fraternity will enjoy a delicate set from original noisecore nutters Extreme Noise Terror.

Volks, 3 The Colonnade, Madeira Drive, 31 May, 10pm–4am, £8/£7

LATE NIGHT BARS

It’s past midnight, you’re still thirsty, but don’t want to go clubbing; here’s our guide to after-hours drinking Above Audio 10 Marine Parade, Brighton, 01273 606906 Sun–Thu, until 1am, Fri–Sat, until 2am Aqua Bar 23 Waterfront, Brighton Marina, 01273 819800, Sun–Thu, 11am–12am, Fri–Sat, 11am–2am Arc Bar 160 King’s Road Arches, Brighton, 01273 770505, Mon–Sun, until 2am Cosmopolitan Bar The Cosmopolitan Hotel, 29-31 New Steine, Marine Parade, Brighton, Mon–Thu, 4pm–12am, Fri 4pm–2am, Sat 3pm–2am, Sun 12pm–11.30pm Earth and Stars 46 Windsor Street, Brighton, 01273 722879, Sun–Thu, until 1am, Fri–Sat, til 2am The Fiddler’s Elbow 11 Boyce’s Street,Brighton, 01273 325850, Sun–Thu, until 2am, Fri–Sat, until 3am Fish Bowl 74 East Street, Brighton, 01273 777505, Sun–Wed, until 2am, Thu–Sat, until 3am The Freebutt 1 Phoenix Place, Brighton, 01273 603974, Sun–Thu, until 12am, Fri–Sat, until 1am The Globe 78 Middle Street, Brighton, 01273 770685, Sun–Wed, until 2am, Thu–Sat, until 3am Grand Central 29-30 Surrey Street, Brighton, 01273 329086, Sun–Wed, until 12am, Thu–Sat, until 2am The Hope 11-12 Queen’s Road, Brighton, 01273 325793, Sun–Wed, until 12am, Thu–Sat, until 2am

The Joogleberry 14-17 Manchester Street, Brighton, 01273 687171, Mon–Sat, 11am–1am, Sunday until 12am Koba 135 Western Road, Brighton, 01273 720059, www.kobauk.com.

Mon–Thu, until 5am, 24 hours over the weekend.

Rehab Bar Waterfront, Brighton Marina, 01273 675007, Sun–Thu, until 12am Riki Tik 18A Bond Street, Brighton, 01273 683844, until 3.30am Fri and Sat Saqqara 158 North Street, Brighton, 01273 779701, until 2am Sidewinder 65 St James’s Street, Brighton, 01273 608571, Sun–Thu, until 1am, Fri–Sat, until 2am St. Christopher’s The Palace Hotel, 10–12 Grand Junction Road, Brighton, 01273 202035, open until 2am Vanilla 73A Western Road, Hove, 01273 748182, Tue–Thu, 5.30pm–1.30am, Fri–Sat, 5pm–2.30am, Sun 12pm–1am, closed Mondays Western Front 11 Cranbourne Street, Brighton, 01273 725656, Sun–Wed, until 2am, Thu–Sat, until 3am Zoot Street Bar 8 Queen’s Road, Brighton, 087 1223 5776, Sun–Wed, 5pm–11pm, Thu–Sat, 5pm–1pm

For bar/club listings see our day-to-day guide starting on page 39 latest 7 31

032_LS318_gay

4/18/07

5:20 PM

Page 2

GAY

News

for the Tuesday performance to a charity of our choice. We’ve decided to name Stonewall as our charity for this fundraiser and the money will be put towards its Education For All programme to stop homophobic bullying in schools. Tickets for the Pink Paradiso are £17 each with tables for 10 at £150 and tables for six at £100, from the Old Market box office on 01273 736 222.

Harlequin becomes the HQ

3SIXTY’s benefit night for Stonewall The Pink Paradiso is back by popular demand next month for a run at the Old Market from Tuesday 12 to Saturday 16 June. The cabaret line-up will see old favourites, as well as new faces, in a show offering song, high-camp sketches and the odd crooner. Miss Jason will be back, with Lady James and Mark Inscoe – who played Dean Martin in the West End musical The Rat Pack. 3SIXTY is proud to be supporting the show with advertising and promotion and, as a result, the organisers have kindly agreed to donate £5 from each ticket sold

Pubs & bars Amsterdam, 11 Marine Parade Bar, hotel, sauna and popular summer terrace. Food available every day. 01273 688825 www.amsterdam.uk.com Aquarium, 6 Steine Street Traditional backstreet boozer.

01273 605525 www.pleisure.com Barley Mow, 92 St George’s Road Mixed and friendly local in Kemp Town serving good food.

Nice outside terrace too.

01273 682259 Brighton Rocks, 6 Rock Place Fabulously stylish bar and restaurant with outside decking. 01273 601139 Bulldog, 31 St James’s Street Landmark gay pub for 25 years.

Entertainment, happy hours.

01273 694097 www.bulldogbrighton.com Charles Street, 8 Marine Parade Huge, swish café-bar serving food, has outside terrace, ’til 3am Fri/Sat. 01273 624091 www.charlesstreetbar.com Doctor Brighton’s 16–17 Kings Road Popular pub with huge vodka selection.

01273 328765 www.pleisure.com Fountain Inn High Street, Handcross Gay oasis in the countryside near Gatwick and very popular.

01444 400218 www.fountainpub.co.uk Jack Horner, 80 High Street, Worthing Worthing’s only gay pub. Some themed nights. 01903 236427

32 latest 7

Legends Bar, Dance and Hotel 31-34 Marine Parade Recently reopened after a multimillion pound refit.

Marine Tavern, 13 Broad Street Cosy, traditional and friendly boozer with real beer.

01273 681284 www.marinetavern.co.uk Marlborough, 4 Princes Street Large pub popular with the girls, with a great theatre upstairs.

01273 570028 www.marlboroughtheatre.co.uk PV, 22 Upper North Street Great mixed pub with cool interior and regular live music.

01273 325491 www.thepv.co.uk Queen’s Arms, 7 George Street Opens 3pm daily. Top acts every night. 01273 696873 www.queensarmsbrighton.com R-Bar, 7 Marine Parade Open till 2am, Sun–Thu; 24 hours, Fri–Sun. 01273 608133 www.revenge.co.uk Revue Bar, 19 New Steine Stylish bar, friendly atmosphere.

01273 607456 Star Inn, 5–9 Manchester Street Traditional style pub in Kemp Town for bears with quiz on Thursdays with extensive lunch and dinner menu every day plus great Sunday roasts. 601450 Vavoom, 31 Old Steine Video bar, right next door to Revenge. 01273 603010 www.vavoom.co.uk White Horse, 30 Camelford St Friendly mixed local.

01273 603726 The Zone, 33 St James’s Street Bar promising something different for Brighton’s drinkers.

01273 626442

The Harlequin bar is now the HQ, following a rebranding this month. HQ has a new look and logo and has lots of new nights to keep you entertained.

Every Thursday is quiz and gameshow night, hosted by Lady James.

Every Friday night is Shaft – men only please!

Sunday 27 May, there’s a special ‘May Pole’ Fetish Lounge Club, in association with Vinylla from 10pm-4am. Advance tickets details from www.vinylla.co.uk.

Out mag lists stars in the closet America’s Out magazine has named a series of Hollywood stars it claims are gay in its May issue. The article is making waves in the States and any legal action is yet to be decided, so we’d best not say any more!

Clubs Audio Hosts Sunday Sundae 10 Marine Parade Weekly chill out with occasional specials and drink promos.

01273 606906 Candy Bar, 129 St James’s Street UK’s only lesbian nightclub, ’til 3am, Fri/Sat. 01273 622424 www.thecandybar.co.uk Charles Street Club, 8 Marine Parade Sleek club above Charles Street Bar, nightly promoters.

10pm–2am, 01273 624091 Harlequin, 43 Providence Place Bar/nightclub, cabaret/stripper, Fri/Sat nights. 9pm–4am, Fri/Sat. 01273 620630 www.harlequin-brighton.co.uk Monkey, Brighton Gloucester, 27 Gloucester Place Every Saturday night. www.wildfruit.co.uk 01273 688011 Revenge, 32 Old Steine Huge two-floor club. 10pm-3am, Sun–Thu ’til 5am Fri/Sat ’til 6am www.revenge.co.uk Therapy @ Rehab Waterfront, Brighton Marina A weekly gay night at Brighton Marina. Every Friday. A lovely stylish big bar!

V2, 5 Steine Street Open every night from 8pm ’til late. 01273 603010 Wildfruit, Creation, 78 West Street Usually once a month with themed nights. One for your calendar! www.wildfruit.co.uk

CHOICE V2 Club Music videos upstairs and karaoke downstairs until 12am. Open 10pm-late

Danger banging away upstairs with the fabulous Lollipop Girls hosting downstairs. 10.30pm-5am, £5 before 11/£7 after

Wed 25 April

Sat 28 April

Tue 24 April

Queen’s Arms Back To School! Food, wi-fi access and happy hour ’til 7pm. Cabaret with Glam and Glitz @ 9.30pm.

Open 2:30-11:30pm

Star Inn Food served from noon ’til 4pm. Proud To Bear night starts at 8pm.

Open 11am-1am

Thu 26 April

Audio Sunday Sundae. The ace weekly hang-out returns for the summer. 6pm-late, £2 before 7pm/£4 before 8pm/£5 after

Charles Street Club Religion. Hosted by Mother Superior Joan Bond, with DJs Richard Jones and Tony B on the decks. 10.30pm-3am, £5/£4 flyer/£3 NUS

Fri 27 April Revenge Lollipop Vs Kinky Dangerous. DJ Dulcie

Sun 29 April

Mon 30 April Marlborough Students social night from 6pm. Games, pool and tunes. Open 12pm-12am

3SIXTY is Brighton’s brightest monthly gay magazine with news, interviews, features and listings for the gay scene around Brighton and Hove.

May’s edition is out now. Pick up your free copy across the city.

You can also now download a full issue at www.3sixtymag.co.uk 3SIXTY T: 01273 570570 E: info@3sixtymag.co.uk

033_LS318_festival

4/19/07

12:17 PM

Page 3

BRIGHTON FESTIVAL

Welcome to the future In Futurology: A Global Review the future will never be the same again Oil is running out, temperatures are rising, China is on the rise – what can we do?

This collaboration between Suspect Culture and the National Theatre of Scotland features a contortionist, a clown, a stand-up comedian and a tango dancer – all in a show that forecasts the end of the world.

The premise is a global conference, but the format is cabaret. At the centre of the story is Patrice. Patrice is the delegate of the tiny Sandwich Islands where her home is sinking.

So too are her hopes. At the global conference she struggles to negotiate the complex politics, conference sexual game playing and the heady topic of name-badge etiquette.

What do you do in times of crisis? Do you resort to distraction tactics or do you call a conference and be seen to be doing something, even if what you are seen to be doing is all but useless.

Futurology points the finger and suggests that we are all fidddling while a Rome-like global catastrophe starts to burn.

Suspect Culture have been described by The Times as, “The most innovative, most in-tunewith-the-times theatre company in Britain”, and this is a chance to see them in the exciting and provocative English premiere of their new work with the National Theatre of Scotland Futurology: A Global Review is at the Corn Exchange, Brighton Dome, Sat 5–Thu 10 May, 8pm, £18/£15. Postshow talk Mon 7, free to ticket holders. Call 01273 709709 or see www.brightonfestival.org

Operation opera

drama to the trenches of World War I. The story is the struggle between Britons and Saxons, a thinly disguised allegory of the contemporary struggle and political tensions of Charles II’s reign. The underlying theme however is one of the power of love to unite and heal warring factions.

This is a world premiere performance of what promises to be yet another operatic triumph for these contemporary masters of the Baroque classics.

King Arthur is at The Theatre Royal, Brighton, Thu 17 May, £22.50/£15/£10/£5. Call 01273 709709 or see www.brightonfestival.org

Contrasting Purcell productions, Verdi and Mozart Two chances to enjoy the work of Henry Purcell this year. The first on 16 May when a massively rebuilt version of Dido and Aeneas is staged in the concert hall at the Brighton Dome.

This popular, but short, piece was first performed in the 1680s in the form that most of us are familiar with. But by 1700 it had been adopted by the commercial theatre of the time and expanded into a full evening’s entertainment. The theatre’s musical director back then, John Eccles, added additional musical numbers and far more colourful and ambitious orchestrations.

Now the acclaimed company, who so successfully staged L’Orfeo in the 2004 festival programme, return to Brighton with their new reconstruction of this later and longer 1700 production of the Purcell masterpiece.

Phillip Pickett with New London Consort give full rein to this full-length version of the original with a 28-strong ensemble playing on period instruments in a proms-style performance for one night only.

Dido And Aeneas is at The Concert Hall, Brighton Dome, Wed 16 May, 8pm, £25/£20/£15, proms £7.50.

Call 01273 709709 or see www.brightonfestival.org

King Arthur The second chance to enjoy the work of Purcell comes later in the festival when the Theatre Royal will play host to The Armonico Consort and their production of King Arthur.

Last year they delighted Brighton audiences with a stunning The Fairy Queen that involved aerial acrobatic artists and puppets alongside stunning visual interpretations, and of course, excellent musicianship.

This year they promise more of the same magic as they shift the action of this historic

Call 01273 709709 to book tickets or visit www.brightonfestival.org

The Magic Flute The Armonico Consort continue their week with two performances of Mozart’s foray into popular theatre, The Magic Flute. This time they use the jungle styling of Henri Rousseau’s painting as a setting for a theatrical romp and mystery that contains some of Mozart’s best-loved music.

With their passion for circus, puppets and high wire antics, they give full rein to the fantasy and magic of this masterpiece in a flamboyant production that promises to thrill and entertain even the most inexperienced of opera goers.

The Magic Flute is at The Theatre Royal, Brighton, Fri 18 and Sat 19 May, 7.30pm, £26/£22/£18/£15/£6.

Call 01273 709709 or see www.brightonfestival.org

latest 7 33

034_LS318_stagelistings

4/19/07

2:31 PM

Page 2

STAGE

THEATRE LISTINGS

From Tuesday 24 April to Monday 21 May 2007 BRIGHTON DOME 01273 709709 www.brightondome.org Futurology: A Global Revue The English premiere – a darkly comic show of dance and cabaret, looking at global issues including climate change and low supplies of fossil fuels.

•Sat 5–Thu 10 May, 8pm, £15–£18 Run Lola Run Featuring a live soundtrack from The Bays, this stage performance based on the BAFTA award nominated film tells the story of Lola, who has to come up with 100,000 marks to save her boyfriend from his gangster nemesis.

•Sat 5 May, 8pm, £16 Simon Armitage and Robert Macfarlane Simon Armitage and Robert Macfarlane delve into the English classic Sir Gawain And The Green Knight. A ghost story, thriller, romance, myth and morality tale rolled into one.

•Sat 5 May, 7.30pm, £7.50 Brighton Festival Youth Choir The dynamic young choir perform choral classics from Purcell to Britten.

•Mon 7 May, 1pm, £7.50 Tom Crean – Antarctic Explorer A multiaward-winning one-man show, from Aidan Dooley, looking at the life of Tom Crean.

•Mon 7 May, 1pm, £7.50 Czech National Symphony Orchestra Bringing rich Eastern European sound to the Brighton Festival.

•Wed 9 May, 8pm, £10–£28.50 Wish I Was Here – Jackie Kay Two tragically funny short stories presented by Jackie Kay. Set to a specially commissioned soundscape.

•Fri 11 May, 9pm, £7.50 Import/Export – Les Ballet C De La B. A stunning performance combining dance, acrobatics, live music and song exploring the theme of powerlessness •Sat 12–Tue 15 May, 8pm, £15–£22.50 Sarmistha Guha – Indian Dance Classical Indian dance with rising young Bengali star.

•Sat 12 May, 1pm, £7.50 Michael Clark Company Contemporary dance.

•Sat 19 May, 8pm, £6–£22.50

BRIGHTON LITTLE THEATRE 01273 777748 www.the-little.co.uk The Merchant Of Venice One of Shakespeare's best-known plays. A comedy portraying the tormented character of Shylock who is also a tormenter, creating changing views for the watching audience. Book through the Brighton Festival at www.brightonfestivalfringe.org.uk •Sat 5–Sat 12 May, 7.45pm, £7.50/£8.50

THE CAPITOL, HORSHAM 01403 750220 www.thecapitolhorsham.com Gormenghast Meet the grotesque characters and witness the mysterious rituals at gothic Gormenghast Castle. Unravel a web of secrets along this extraordinary tale of greed, madness and love.

•Tue 24–Wed 25 April, please call for times and prices Tosca Puccini’s classic opera about art, love and politics. A political prisoner is hiding out in a church and opera singer Floria Tosca is intent on protecting her lover who has some involvement with the prisoner.

•Fri 27 Apr, please call for times and price Swing And Sinatra A night of songs from the swing era, with familiar hits from the Rat Pack, Glenn Miller and Ella Fitzgerald.

•Sat 28 Apr, please call for times and price Dangerous Corner Ian Dickens Productions present J B Priestley’s classic thriller where one loose word leads to an explosion of emotions and suspicions.

•Fri 4–Sat 5, please call for times and prices Daisy Pulls It Off Hit And Run Theatre Company present a story about life in an English girl’s boarding school. Daisy must fight off prejudices from snobby classmates while 34 latest 7

searching for the hidden treasure that will save the fortunes of the school.

•Wed 9–Sat 12 May, please call for times and prices Russian Cossack Dance Company Direct from Moscow, 50 dancers, musicians and singers present a dynamic production packed with energy, performed to a live orchestra.

•Sun 6 May, please call for times and prices Two Kinds Of Magic A show of two halves: acclaimed concert of Queen hits and then the legendary songs of Electric Light Orchestra.

•Wed 9 May, please call for times and prices Big Chris Barber Jazz, swing, blues and big band sounds from 1950s legend Chris Barber.

•Thu 10 May, please call for times and prices

CHICHESTER FESTIVAL THEATRE 01243 781312 www.cft.org.uk Office Suite A double-bill from Alan Bennett on the apparent predictability of life in an office, starring Patricia Routledge.

•Tue 24–Thu 12 May. SOLD OUT The Last Confession The world premiere of this new thriller set in one of the most highly guarded institutions: the Vatican. (Pre-show talk on 3 May.) •Fri 27 Apr–Thu 19 May, please call for show times. £10–£32

THE HAWTH, CRAWLEY 01293 553636 www.hawth.co.uk The Comedy Of Errors 07 A Community Arts Production. Please call for more details.

•Thu 26–Sat 28 Apr, please call for times and prices Skin Tight A moving, magical and brutal play about love and the human condition. Elizabeth is dying and she must make the most of her time left with Tom, sharing memories and dreams.

•Sat 19 May, please call for times and prices

KOMEDIA, BRIGHTON 01273 647100 www.komedia.co.uk Cowboy Cabaret Komedia is transformed into a Western saloon in this raunchy burlesque comedy complete with gun-slingers and live music.

•Sat 28 Apr, 7pm, £10–£15 The Elves And The Shoemaker Kids show using magical puppets to tell the story of Elvis Schumacher, who creates beautiful footware but finds people are buying boring shoes from the evil businessman. Can anyone help Elvis? 3+ •Sun 29 Apr, 2pm, £5 Mayday! The Musical Following the popular Improvability Drive, the Maydays return in a completely improvised musical extravaganza.

•Fri 4–Sat 5 May, 9pm, £8/£7. Tickets from www.ticketsource.co.uk Brecht On Magic Three gods from Bertolt Brecht's play come to earth looking for socialist culture in capitalist society. Settling for a performance by magician Ian Saville, the Gods make his act more revolutionary. From Brechtian Theatre, a blend of stand-up comedy, magic, ventriloquism and political commentary.

•Fri 11–Wed 16 May, 6.45pm, £5/£3.50 Cassandra A huge hit on the Canadian Fringe circuit, this is a post-9/11 re-working of the story about Cassandra, who had a gift to see the future but whose curse was not to be believed. An intense drama.

•Fri 11–Sat 12 May, 9.30pm, £6/£5 Clay Time A kids’ play with clay, where the audience are invited to participate. Interactive theatre with amazing animals and morphing monsters based on the imagination of the young theatre-goers. Ages 3–6 years.

•Sun 13 May, 12pm and 2pm, £6/£5 ‘I’m Your Late Night Evening’ – Slowly I Turn Theatre/cabaret work with two female performers, with the name ‘Slowly I Turn’ based

on the popular Vaudeville skit.

•Thu 17–Sat 19 May, 6.30pm, £5/£3 Anne Pigalle: Spirit of Ecstasy/Blank Productions: Life Studies French post-punk cabaret artist Anne Pigalle performs contemporary music with a decadently romantic Baudlerian edge, feasting on love, sex and intrigue. Mark Hewitt paints evocative ‘nudes in words’ in an experimental live literature production.

•Sun 20 May, 6.30pm, £7/£5 The Adventures Of Tom Thumb A modern-day telling of the Brothers Grimm tale, with Tom as a bedridden 80-year-old, dreaming of escaping his nursing home for one last adventure. On stage as a tiny puppet and a fully-grown man, Tom sets about to prove his size. Ages 6+/ •Sun 20 May, 2pm, £6/£5

MARLBOROUGH THEATRE, BRIGHTON 07782 278521 www.marlboroughtheatre.co.uk When The Script Hits The Fan The Maydays turn audience suggestions into improvised sketches in this unique stage show.

•Sat 28 Apr, 8pm, £6 Shoe Baby Puppet Show Sing-along adventure about a baby who takes to the sea, the air and the zoo – all in a shoe! Ages 2–6.

•Sat 5–Sun 6 May, 4pm and 5pm, £6 Bring Me Einstein/ Robin Fry: Rock Historian Katy Schutte explores the funny side of Hitler’s least favourite genius and Robin Fry gives us a speedy history of rock.

•Sat 5, Fri 11 and Sat 12 May, 10.30pm, £6/£5 Hamlet Halcyon Productions present Max Day’s Hamlet, looking at the possibility of a man going his whole life without really knowing who he is.

•Mon 7–Sat 12 May, 8pm, £10/£8, tickets on 07786 984900 Four Play Revised Edition Theatre Company present new plays written by Cavendish School students, performed by professional actors.

•Tue 8–Thu 10 May, 6.30pm, £5 Smoke And Mirrors Three interlocking monologues based around love, loss, family and relationships, presented by Writers Block.

•Sat 12–Sun 13 May and Sat 26–Sun 27 May, 4pm, £6/£5 Träuma A sketch show about seafarer facing a dilemma. Meanwhile, a zoophile raconteur realises his true love. Equal parts disturbing and ludicrous.

•Fri 11–Sun 13 May, 6pm, £8/£6. Tickets on 07786 984900.

Little Howard And The Magic Pencil Of Life And Death Family show from the awardwinning star of CBBC’s The Slammer. Little Howard meets his maker The Pencil Of Creation, but unfortunately on the other end is The Rubber Of Doom.

•Sat 12–Sun 13 May and Sat 26–Sun 27 May, 2pm, £5/£4. Tickets on 07786 984900.

Raised In Brighton Second-year acting students from Varndean College present theatre created in response to growing up in Brighton.

•Tue 15–Sun 16 May, 6pm, £5 Caviar And Chips VIP Theatre Company present the story of three unlikely friends who run to Wrigley. Original comic routines, tequila nights and more.

•Thu 17–Sun 20 May, 6pm, £8/£6 Menno in “BUTCH – A Queen's Struggle To Become A King” Part love story, part musical, Menno is tired of being the token gay guy and decides to ‘butch up’ and get in touch with his masculine side. This is important as he’s fallen for an ultra-masculine, straight-acting army captain who hates anything camp...

•Tue 15–Thu 17 May, 8pm, £8/£6 These Four Walls The tale of Lena, a young cellist in 1930’s Berlin, who hid her Jewish family in her apartment. Now, there is only the cupboard to hide in...

•Fri 18–Sun 20 May, 8pm (Fri and Sat) 2pm (Sat and Sun), £7/£5

NIGHTINGALE THEATRE, BRIGHTON 01273 702563 www.nightingaletheatre.co.uk Lunatics Intense and physical look at Jesus’ death and the formation of the Christian Church.

Explicit language/violence – ages 16+ only.

•Sat 5–Mon 7 May (post performance discussion on Sun 6) 8pm, £6.50/£8.50

Nordic Night Presented by Mara Lloyd and guests. Please contact the venue for more information.

•Tue 8 May, 8pm, £8.50/£6.50 Idyll – A Comic Lament Presented by Unpacked. Please contact the venue for further information.

•Wed 9–Fri 11 may, 8pm, £8.50/£6.50 The Little Girl Who Was Too Fond Of Matches Presented by Impetous Kinship.

Suitable for ages 12+. Please contact the venue for further information.

•Sat 12–Mon 14 May, 8pm, £8.50/£6.50

THEATRE ROYAL, BRIGHTON 08700 606650 www.theambassadors.com/theatreroyal Kean Passionate and funny theatre centred around Edmund Kean, the greatest romantic actor of the 19th century.

•Tue 24–Sat 28 April, 7.45pm plus 2.30pm Thu and Sat, £16–£27 Charley’s Aunt Stephen Tompkinson stars in this comedy about mistaken identity, cross dressing, deranged uncles and ravishing young ladies in Edwardian Oxford.

•Mon 30 Apr–Sat 5 May, 7.45pm plus 2.30pm Thu and Sat, £16–£26 Dublin By Lamplight Set in the filth and fury of 1904 Dublin, fading stars, rebels, whores and romantics feature in this compelling concoction of vaudeville and tragi-comedy. Hilarity and theatrical invention ensues •Tue 8–Sat 12 May, 7.30pm plus 2.30pm Sat, £10–£20 Me: Moir Join the man best known by his stage name Vic Reeves – actor, writer and comic – for an evening of reminiscences on life as Jim Moir.

•Wed 16 May, 7.30pm, £10 King Arthur Henry Purcell’s opera transporting us to the trenches of World War I with an enchanting score mirroring the vision of the Western Front.

•Thu 17 May, 7.30pm, £5–£22.50

WORTHING: CONNAUGHT THEATRE 01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk Coppelia English Youth Ballet present the story of Dr Coppelius, whose greatest desire is to bring his beloved doll to life.

•Thu 26–Sat 28 Apr, 7.30pm, £14/£16 Danny The Champion Of The World A thrilling adventure based on Roald Dahl’s bestloved book. Danny lives in a caravan with his dad, but they face eviction from landowner Mr Hazell. The battle is on to save their home!

•Tue 1–Sat 5 May, times and prices vary – please contact the venue

WORTHING: PAVILION THEATRE 01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk Calamity Jane New Southern Musical Productions present the story of Jane – who travels to the windy city, transforming herself from a boyish gun-slingin’ gal into a proper lady.

•Wed 25–Sat 28 Apr, 7.45pm plus 2.45pm Sat, £9–£12 Sing-Along–A–ABBA Tribute to the Swedish group – sing along to their well-loved hits .

•Wed 2 May, 8pm, £16 The Dolly Parton Story Mandy Winters, backed by a full band, explores the triumphs and heartaches of Dolly’s life.

•Fri 4 May, 7.30pm, £14/£12.50 Vienna Festival Ballet Present Swan Lake Stunning music by Tchaikovsky, wonderful dancing, lavish costumes and stunning scenery.

•Sat 5 May, 2.30pm and 7.30pm, £14–£19 Our Times Productions Presents Follies The legendary musical featuring Stephen Sondheim’s Tony Award-winning score. Over 50 performers and musicians perform songs including ‘Losing My Mind’ and ‘Broadway Baby.’

•Sun 6 May, 7.30pm, £12–£15 Sussex Musical Productions Present The King And I Stunning musical based on the English widow, Anna, her young son and their life at the Royal Palace in Bangkok. Summoned by the King to serve as a tutor, Anna and the King grow to respect one another.

•Tue 15–Sat 19 May, 7.30pm (Wed and Sat matinees 2.30pm), £12/£10

If you would like your event listed please email listings@thelatest.co.uk

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KIDS

Safe summer Zara Friend finds a product to keep children safe on their holidays and protected from the sun, too Parents are aware of the need to have some form of identity for their children while on holiday abroad or out on a day trip, as it can be so easy to lose sight of them in a busy theme park or on the beach.

However, the new Kids Label® ID bracelet from CN Sales and Marketing can help put parents’ minds at ease.

As a watch-shaped identity bracelet, with a unique sun-strength indicator built into the watch face, children can be kept protected from the elements and the busy environment.

Four faces indicate the strength of the sun, with a very smiley face, a smiley face, a neutral face and a sad face, which guide parents to the level of protection required for safe play in the summer sun.

Suitable for children from 12 months upwards, Kids Label® ID bracelets are soft, flexible and waterproof, making them comfortable to wear. Available in blue or pink, they are attractive too.

The bracelet has space to write the child’s identity or contact details and any medical information that may be necessary should they become separated from the rest of the family.

Kids Label ® ID bracelets are available direct from CN Sales and Marketing Ltd, RRP £3.99 for a pack of two. Alternatively see www.cn-sales.co.uk for a list of UK distributors, call 01635 255725 or email sales@cn-sales.co.uk

To feature in kids email editorial@thelatest.co.uk

To advertise here to over 100,000 people Call Kate on

01273 818150 and find out how effective and inexpensive it is to promote your business

If you would like your event listed please email listings@thelatest.co.uk

EVENTS

THIS WEEK’S PREVIEWS Creepy Crawlies Day Not one for the faint hearted, the popular Creepy Crawlies Day returns to Sussex zoo Drusillas Park this Sunday 29 April.

Creep on down and meet some amazing mini monsters displayed at the Discovery Centre, which is open between 11am and 4pm.

The zoo will be swarming with weird insects, scary spiders and slimy molluscs to name but a few! Experts from the British Tarantula Society will also be available to answer your creepy-crawlie-based questions.

Creepy Crawlies Day at Drusillas Park, Afriston, Sunday 29 April. Call 01323 874100 for opening times and prices of the zoo or see www.drusillas.co.uk

Your Big Sussex Weekend The second Your Big Sussex Weekend takes place this Saturday 28 and Sunday 29 April. Sussex residents can take advantage of discounted rates to top local tourist attractions right on their doorstep.

Over 70 attractions are involved in the weekend-long event, including the stunning Borde Hill gardens in Haywards Heath. Just provide proof of your Sussex address to take advantage of the Your Big Sussex Weekend.

Your Big Sussex Weekend, Saturday 28 and Sunday 29 April. For details of the attractions and to download discount vouchers for reduced entry, see www.bigsussex.co.uk or call in at your nearest Tourist Information Centre.

UPCOMING HIGHLIGHTS Open House Farmers Market and Street Party Brighton and Hove Food Partnership and the Open House pub have joined forces to celebrate the beginning and end of the Brighton Festival in style, with a street party and farmers’ market.

Held on Saturday 5 May and Sunday 27 May, the festivities kick off in the Fiveways area with Open Houses on show, events at the Open House pub and market stalls in the street outside.

The stalls will offer local produce, fine local wines and arts and crafts while local bands and Morris dancers will keep shoppers entertained well into the evening. Children will be kept busy with face painting and the ‘Smoothie Bike Man’ while parents browse the goods on offer or take part in the hands-on pottery demonstrations. If that isn’t enough to tickle your tastebuds, the Open House kitchen will be offering food.

The stallholders will put together a raffle later in the day, raising funds for the Brighton and Hove Food Partnership.

There will be also two exhibitions displayed at the Open House pub throughout the festival, with artwork from the Fiveways Artists Group, compiled especially for the event, displayed in the lounge room. A combined exhibition by local artists will be on display in the upstairs function room.

Celebrating good eating and raising money for Brighton and Hove Food Partnership, the Open House Farmers’ Market and Street Party takes place Saturday 5 and Sunday 27 May. Market stalls open 12pm–5pm with entertainment from 12pm to late.

Saadi Youssef Acknowledged as Iraq’s foremost living poet, Saadi Youssef appears at Brighton Dome on Tuesday 8 May – an educational event that gives a voice to one of Iraq’s main literary figures.

Since 1952, Youssef has had over 20 volumes of poetry published.

Deceptively subtle and simple in style, they give a rare insight into everyday life in his homeland. Youssef has also had fiction, essays and major translations published, and, like many Iraqi intellectuals, was forced to flee Iraq when Saddam Hussein assumed absolute power in 1978.

Saadi Youssef, Brighton Dome’s Pavilion Theatre, Tuesday 8 May, 8.30pm, £7.50. For tickets call 01273 709709 Zara Friend latest 7 35

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ART

See more at latest-art.co.uk PHOENIX GALLERY

THEATRE ROYAL

Waterloo Place, Brighton 01273 603700 Double Acts A celebration and mini-survey of collaborative practice in the UK today, featuring work and new commissions by Ayling and Conroy, Karin Kihlberg and Reuben Henry, The Library Of Unwritten Books and much more.

28 April-9 June, Tue-Sat 11am-5pm

New Road, Brighton PerSona Cambridge Jones has photographed the Queen, Tony Blair and a whole host of actors, politicians and musicians. This is a collaboration with Philippa Stanton who is synesthetic, a condition which allows her to see sound in colour, shape and texture. her compelling paintings depict a vivid and personal response to the spoken word.

Together, these contrasting images allow a familiar subject to be viewed in a unique way.

20 subjects have undergone the ‘portrait’ treatment including Richard E Grant, Greta Scacchi, Timothy Spall and David Suchet.

Until 27 May, during Theatre Royal opening hours and 11am-5pm on Sundays.

ROYAL PAVILION Royal Pavilion Gardens, Brighton 01273 290900 Stig Evans Artist in residence at the Pavilion, he’s been working with the Pavilion’s conservation department, looking into the history of the building’s painted decorative schemes.

A series of his works, inspired by the project, are being exhibited. Until 26 Apr, Mon-Sun 9.45am5.45pm (hours until end of September)

UNIVERSITY OF BRIGHTON GALLERY

Recycled words

Grand Parade, Brighton 01273 643101 Drawing Upon Drawing: 50 Years of Illustrating by John Vernon Lord Major retrospective of this illustrator whose work graces books, magazines and advertising media.

Until 5 May, Mon-Sat 10am-5pm

In an intriguing installation at Hove Museum, see how discarded objects – in this case unwanted books – can be transformed into a finished paper sculpture. Susan Edwards’ new display takes over the sample drawers in the contemporary craft galleries at Hove Museum and ranges from inspirational material to pieces showing different ways of manipulating paper, and a selection of finished sculptures. The display gives a fascinating insight into this multi-disciplinary artist’s working processes.

Susan Edwards says: “My ideas come from everyday objects like the layering of mushroom gills or the coiling of shells. I sometimes introduce elements of stitch or decoration, and the discarded book takes on a new life. I have become intrigued with the way the form of a book can be altered by folding its pages to form a three-dimensional structure. I alter the usual form of a book using techniques like rolling, folding and pleating. This turns the book into a powerful new object.”

Susan Edwards, Hove Museum & Art Gallery, until 1 July

ART LISTINGS ART AT FIVE 5 Bartholomews, Brighton 01273 774222 Showcase of original artwork from emerging creative talent, as well as more established artists. Mon-Sat 10am-6pm, Sun 11am-5pm

ARTHOUSE Western Road, Hove 01273 770083 Christina Sanders Retrospective exhibition of her photographs on the theme of memories.

Until 30 April, Mon-Fri 4pm-late, Sat and Sun 2pm-late

BRIGHTON MUSEUM AND ART GALLERY Church Street, Brighton 01273 290200 Rogues Gallery: Images of Crime and Punishment Display of popular prints featuring notorious crimes and punishments, mainly from the 18th and 19th centuries, including enemies of the state and real-life murderers. Until 30 Sept, Tues 10am-7pm, Wed-Sat 10am-5pm, Sun 2-5pm

CHALK GALLERY North Street, Lewes 01273 474477 21 professional artists from across all media.

Featuring Edith Barton – humourous and textural 3D artist. Mon-Sun 10am-5pm

CRANE KALMAN, BRIGHTON Kensington Gardens, Brighton 01273 697096 Scenes of Sussex: Where The Hills Meet The Sea Featuring six superb photographers including Fay Godwin, Tim Hall, John Holloway, Linda McCartney, Steve Pyke and Bruce Rae. Until 1 May, Mon-Sat 10am6pm, Sun 10.30am-4.30pm

GRANGE GALLERY The Grange, The Green, Rottingdean 01273 301004 36 latest 7

Threads Textile Arts: Identity An exhibition of textile art. Until 30 April, Mon-Sat 10am4pm, Sun 2-4pm

HOVE MUSEUM AND ART GALLERY New Church Road, Hove 01273 290200 Paper Cuts Eight artists employ paper cutting techniques to reflect on our culture and environment. Paper cutting has been used by different cultures throughout history to mark events and religious occasions, and the delicate nature of paper relates to our vulnerability, dreams and ambitions. Until 1 July Susan Edwards Unwanted books that have been transformed into paper sculptures (see above). Until 1 July, Wed-Sat 11.30am-5pm, Sun 2-5pm

NORTH LAINE PHOTOGRAPHY GALLERY Upstairs, Snooper’s Paradise, Kensington Gardens, Brighton 01273 686506 Miss Aniela The world’s largest portal for exchanging every kind of photography online is www.flickr.com. Miss Aniela is a local photographer registering over a million hits in the last six months. Her site embodies the empowerment of self portrayal, combining stunning imagery with the intimacy of ordinary snapshots of her life. This is her first exhibition.

Until 30 April, Mon-Sat 10.15am-5.45pm, Sun 10.15am-3.45pm

O CONTEMPORARY Trafalgar Street, Brighton 01273 698500 D*face: Eyecons The notorious urban artist was part of the revolutionary 11 Spring Street event in New York, which attracted a lot of attention. He’ll be exhibiting one of the iconic images from that event along with new subverted icons. Until 6 May, Tue-Fri 10am5.30pm, Sat 10am-6pm, Sun 12am-5pm

WORTHING MUSEUM AND ART GALLERY Chapel Road, Worthing 01903 221448 Luke Dickinson Sensual stone carvings.

Until 23 Jun Tues-Sat, 10am-5pm Water, Water Everywhere 40 treasures from the museum’s stores, exploring watery themes.

Until 16 Jun, Tues-Sat 10am-5pm

The Pool Of Tears – Miss Aniela at North Laine Photography

Sales Executive required for busy advertising dept To manage the sales for Latest 7 as well as working on other titles. Responsible for managing existing accounts as well as developing new areas of advertising revenue within the magazine group.

You will be required to have: • Minimum of two years experience • Proven track record in face to face sales and negotiation skills • Ability to work on own initiative and be highly motivated • Be extremely organised and able to work to deadlines • Excellent customer service skills • Energetic & enthusiastic approach Apply by emailing your CV to lynne@thelatest.co.uk or call Lynne Edwards on 01273 818150 ex. 112 for an informal chat Latest Homes Ltd Unit 1, Level 5 North, New England House New England Street, Brighton BN1 4GH 01273 818150 www.thelatest.co.uk

latest homes

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LISTINGS

YOUR COMPLETE LISTINGS GUIDE STARTS HERE

latestlistings The hottest tickets for the week ahead 24–30 April ★MUSIC★ The Church

Legendary cult band from Oz, best known for 1988 album Starfish.

Concorde 2, Brighton, Saturday 28 April, 7pm, £12

★MUSIC★

Cinematic Orchestra With a new album due soon, this outfit make music of profound beauty, exploring the intersection of jazz and dance with a panoramic vision that takes in everything from trip hop and drum and bass to strings, samples and electronica.

Komedia, Brighton, Sunday 29 April, 7.30pm, £14

★MUSIC★ McFly

McFly

Tom, Danny, Harry and Dougie make up this stoopidly successful pop rock outfit who have the girls screaming and the boys feeling vaguely inadequate.

Brighton Dome, Monday 30 April, 7.30pm, £22.50

★MUSIC★

Money Mark + Lucky Jim Producer and musician Mark Ramos-Nishita first came to notice via his collaborations with The Beastie Boys. He’s been making quirky pop funk records via his keyboard and a love of The Beatles since the mid-1990s. The new record has just come out on Jack Johnson’s label. Lucky Jim are riding high on the back of the use of their ‘You’re Lovely To Me’ on the Windmill bread advert.

Audio, Brighton, Tuesday 24 April, 7pm, £10

Rabbit In The Headlights

★STAND-UP★

Laurence And Gus: Next In Line The Radio 4 stars and award-winning comedy double act come to Brighton to provide a sketch show with a difference. Quirky and completely unique.

Komedia, Brighton, Thursday 26 April, 8pm, £10/8

★STAND-UP★

Rabbit In The Headlights

Laurence And Gus

A mixture of new acts and new material as you catch tomorrow’s stars today.

The Marlborough Theatre, Brighton, Friday 27 April, 8pm, £6

The Church

For venue details see page 45 latest 7 37

038_LS318_reviews

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Need a music video making or a gig filmed?

Page 2

Under review Recent shows with a sprinkling of home-grown talent Annie Mac

Call Artforms Productions Ltd - The production company behind all the filming for Latest 7, Latest Homes and Latest Records.

We’re always making professional looking DVDs/music videos/ promotional films at the most affordable prices.

Whether you’re rock, indie, hip-hop or folk, we will create the right video for you.

All budgets catered for – from glossy MTV-style videos to filming pub gigs for your myspace page.

Ring Stef now for a quote and examples of our work.

07712 588136 or artformstef@gmail.com

Annie Mac Is Annie Mac the nicest DJ in the world? Possibly – but then she’s so good that she doesn’t have to rely on either a) a previous career as a Big Brother contestant or b) a Wonderbra to further her career; just a bagful of CDs and an innate sense of what rocks a crowd. Train spotters may have demanded some more tunes from the left field, but this capacity bank holiday crowd lapped up her heady electro house.

Audio, 7 April ✌✌✌✌

The Hanover Band Chorus performing St John’s Passion It’s quite long at over two hours, it’s in German and you can read the translation as you go – if you so desire. Bach’s St John’s Passion was a challenge to this Philistine reviewer. The Hanover Band are renowned as one of the finest period-instrument orchestras, and there were runs where, under the direction of Andrew Arthur, the chorus combined with subliminal ease. The soloists Julia Doyle and Allan Clayton shone. The overall impression – and perhaps this is down to seeing Handel’s Messiah previously on a grander scale at St Bart’s – was that the performance came into its own towards the end, yet needed a bigger punch throughout.

St Nicholas Church, April 4 ✌✌✌ Jan Goodey The Hanover Band Chorus

Matt Chittock

Chungking After a long silence, Brighton born and raised Shaun Hennessy and Jesse Banks are back with a new band, a new sound, and a new album. Their first gig for over a year, their sweet psychedelic soul music has given way to a harder, dancier, electro edge as evidenced on their new single ‘Love Is Here To Stay’.

Jesse is still a powerful force of nature – a truly bewitching presence on stage and one of the most distinctive and lovely voices in the business. With a few more gigs under their belt, their time may yet come this time around.

Komedia, 5 April ✌✌✌✌ Jefferson

Rob and Scatz

Mess. A Jason Donovan lookalike delivered ‘oral cinema’ with guitar riffs, topped off with a gaggle of comics including Latest 7’s own Vicky Nangle in a warmly charming comedy set. All in all there was something for everyone to either love or hate.

Joogleberry Playhouse, April 10 ✌✌✌ Mark David

Raw! A cross-section of local virginal raw talent and raw material was broken in: poets, singers, storytellers and stand-up comics; some resident, some from off the street. Hosted

by The Brighton To London Poet, poetry was served with the panache and drama of Bernadette Cremin, promoting her book Perfect

Easter Sunday @ Sidesplitters We’re so spoilt in this city! Easter Sunday laying for us yet another unmissable stand-up golden egg.

After a disappointing Butlins-style opening by the bunny-suit-wearing compere, the audience was rescued by some of the comedic crème of our locally grown produce – the excellent Toby Whithouse and two shining starsto-be, Seann Walsh and Jim Holland, serving up honest, organic and stylish portions, beautifully delivered too.

Simon Plotkin and musical duo Rob and Scatz cleverly rounded off yet another entertaining Sunday night out, securing this popular weekly as the jewel in Sunday’s drinking crown.

The Providence, 8 April ✌✌✌✌ Marc Abraham

Jesse Banks from Chungking

38 latest 7

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tuesday 24

THIS ADVERT for just

£20 a week

Call Kate

818150

Money Mark, Audio, 7pm

3 By 5 Brighton-based five-piece (which includes three brothers, hence the name) making superbly crafted pop rock with hints of Stevie Wonder, Herbie Hancock and Maroon 5.

Joogleberry, 8pm, £5 Carrie Tree + Jono McCleery + Justin Love Acoustic triple-header. The Globe, 8pm, £4 Dan Powell + Made Out Of Wool + Gross Consumer Experimental electronica brought to you courtesy of Spirit Of Gravity promotions.

Marlborough Theatre, 7.30pm, £4/£3 Enrique Adams Trio Jazz. Arthouse, 8.30pm, free Left Hand Red + The Victorians + Intraverse + Go Johnny Go Rock Riot night with four alternative bands from the south. Hope, 8 pm, £4/£3 Money Mark + Lucky Jim Producer/musician and Beastie Boys collaborator Mark RamosNishita makes quirky pop funk records via his keyboard and love of The Beatles. His new album ‘Brand New By Tomorrow’ has just come out on Jack Johnson’s label. Lucky Jim – aka Edinburghborn troubadour Gordon Grahame – is riding high thanks to his ‘You’re Lovely To Me’ song featuring on a bread advert. Audio, 7pm, £10 Nell Bryden + Emily Barker + Doon MacDonald Classy New York-based singersongwriter, with tinges of folk and roots to her music. Cella, 7.30pm, £6/£5 Open mic Brunswick, 8pm, free Stars Of Aviation + Blanket + Diamond Family Archive Three top low-key and downbeat country and folk-flavoured bands.

Sussex Arts Club, 8pm, £3

Casablanca Tequila Tuesday. Party tunes with DJ Scotty Le Funk (he must be French) and that oh-so-potent wormy beverage at just £1 a shot.

Yikes. 10.30pm-3am, free Creation S.E.X. It stands for ‘students expect xtra’. Very clever. Big night of alcohol-fuelled dancefloor mayhem though. It’s in exile from the Event 2 which is currently being renovated.

10pm-2am, £3/free before 11pm Funky Buddha Lounge Kinky Robot. Various shades of house, electro, breaks and techno.

10:30-3am, £3/free before 11pm Hare & Hounds Free pool. Great for hustlers on a budget. Free The Jazz Place Roots Garden. Reggae and roots sounds all night long. 10pm-2am, £3.50/£2/2.50 Ocean Rooms Sunset Sessions. Funky house behaviour with drinks promos and laughing gas.

No, really. £3/£2/free before 11pm Po Na Na Pop. Confusingly monickered night of ’sexy urban sounds‘. That‘s ’urban‘ as in R’n’B, not roadworks and car horns. 10.30pm-3am, £5 Providence ‘Curry & Pint’ night with drink promos and table football. Perhaps not for a first date. From 6pm Suga Qube Industry. A weekly blow-out for the hard-working bar workers and door staff of our beloved city. The slack ones can go too. 9pm2am, free Volks The Speakeasy. Gangster-styled fun but without the killing and stuff. Includes live music from Will Harmonica Wild And The Neptunes Blues Band and more. 8pm-12am, £6 The Zap Smash Hits. DJs Sean Quinn and Mr P throw out some top pop classics to a crowd of tune-hungry drunkards. Great fun. 10pm-3am, £3/£2/free before 11pm

Bars and clubs

Gay

Arc Expelled. Multi-genre student mash-up.

10.30pm-3am, £2/£1 before 10:30pm Audio Snide. Indie rock tunes old and new at this super-cool night for those with very tight jeans. 10pm-2am, £2 Belushi’s Revision. Student night with drink promos. 9pm–3am, free with NUS card Caroline Of Brunswick Quiz. 8.30pm, £1

Legends Dance Toxic. Selected drinks £2 each.

11pm–4am, free Marine Tavern Nat’s Quiz Night. 9pm Marlborough Ladies’ Night. Open till 12am Queen’s Arms Spice Up Your Life! The fabulous Spice hosts her own karaoke show. 9pm R-Bar Student night. Discounted tickets for Revenge. 9pm-2am, free

Live music

check with venue before travelling. ➧ Please See our venue directory for details

Revenge Student night. Drinks from £1.50.

10:30pm–3am, NUS free all night/others free before 11 then £3 Vavoom Your choice videos. Open till 4am V2 club Music videos upstairs and karaoke downstairs until 12am. 10pm–late, free

Theatre Gormenghast Based on the gothic, surrealist Mervyn Peak novels, this stage adaptation will take you on a journey into the mysterious rituals and grotesque characters of Gormenghast castle. The Capitol, Horsham, please call for times and prices Kean Edmund Kean was the greatest romantic actor of the 19th century and his private life was as colourful as the roles he played. Similarly fascinating thespian Sir Anthony Sher plays the man in this sexy, funny work by Jean-Paul Sartre.Theatre Royal Brighton, 7.45pm, £16–£27

Events Cuban Salsa Night Dance lessons for all levels from Cubashe Dance Promotions.

Hanbury Club, 8.30pm–9.30pm for beginners, 9:30pm-10:30pm for beginners/intermediate/ advanced levels. £6 for one class, £10 for both Drop In And Draw Handle some museum artefacts (careful!) and use charcoal, pencils or felt tips to do your own observational drawings.

Brighton Museum, 3.30–4.30pm, free Greyhound racing ’They’re just like little horses‘ as Homer Simpson once said. He’s not wrong, only horses don‘t roll over for belly tickles. Brighton and Hove Greyhound Stadium.

Evening race – please call 01273 204601 to confirm details Whose Reading Is It Anyway? Part of the City Reads 2007 event, this debating exercise will see five panellists (one academic, two students and two others) each read and interpret a section from Daphne du Maurier’s Rebecca. The audience will then vote for the interpretation they’re most convinced by. Could get ugly. Call 01273 877888 for more info.

University of Sussex, 6.30pm, free

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wednesday 25 Wednesday Night Originals Weekly showcase of local bands. Portland, 7.30pm, £3

Bars and clubs

IS NOW OPEN

Arc Don’t Tell Ya Mum And Dad. Intelligent dance tunes with bits of electro, space crunk and indie in the mix. 10pm-late, £3/£2 Audio Supercharged. Top breaks and beats action with tonight’s special guest Slyde.

10:30pm-2:30am, £3-£5 The Beach Born In The 80s. The decade we all love to hate. Or is it hate to love? Either way, you’ll probably hear some Wham. 10pm-late, £3/80p Brighton Gloucester The Pit. Gnarly rock and metal for those who like their dancefloor aggressive and sweaty. 10pm-2am, £3/£2 Casablanca Fun Ki Disco. Two floors of upbeat funkery. Upstairs is a Spanish theme – buy Sangria and get free tapas. 9:30pm-2am, £2/£1/free before 11pm Funky Buddha Sabotage. Indie rock stylings for lovers of all things guitar-based. 10.30pm3am, £2 Honey Club No Nonsense. Eclectic mix for students and the official night of the University of Sussex SU Sports Federation. 10pm-3am, £2.50-£5 The Juggler Bar Quiz. General and themed rounds. Prizes available. 8.30pm Kooklub Current and classic indie at this new night. 10pm-3am, £3 Suga Qube Funk N Stuff. Raregroove, funk, disco and house from DJ Dave Morpeth. Free

1st FLOOR COCKTAIL BAR

BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE FREEMASONS 38-39 WESTERN RD, HOVE

to reserve a table please call

01273 732043

Gay Marlborough Quiz. Prizes for winners. 8pm The PV Quiz. 8pm Queen’s Arms Back To School! Cabaret with Glam and Glitz. 9.30pm R-Bar Go Double Baby. From 9pm, any double just £1 extra. Open till 2am Revenge Strut your stuff at 1970s heaven.

Selected drinks just £1.50. 10.30pm–3am, free entry if dressed to theme or £3/£2 before 11pm Vavoom Your choice videos. Happy hour till 6pm. Open till 4am V2 Club Music videos upstairs and karaoke downstairs until 12am. 10pm–late

info@thefreemasonstavern.com

OSTRAKA MOSAICS BESPOKE TILE DESIGN

BY AN ORIGINAL MOSAIC ARTIST

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Contact: EDI MANDALA Tel. 01273 623469 / Mob. 07790 920 614 Web. www.OstrakaMosaics.com Email. E.mandala@btinternet.com

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Jo Enright @ Comic Boom, Komedia, 8pm

Live music 36 Crazyfists Emo/metal quartet originally from Alaska but now based in Oregon. They’re named after a Jackie Chan movie and fronted by a man named Brock Lindow. For those about to Brock... we salute you. Concorde 2, 7pm, £12.50 Auro Jazz Quartet Brazilian and Latin music, from choro to samba via bossa. Brunswick, 8pm, £3 Bee’s Mouth Open Mic Arthouse, 8.30pm, free Children Of Voodoo + MC Cashback Experimental rock and future hip hop at this Saeturn presentation. DJ Randy Andy will fill in the gaps. Hope, 8pm, £5/£4 Circle Of Friends Acoustic night with local

singer-songwriters baring their souls for the assembled drinkers. Cosmopolitan Bar, 8.30pm, free Nelson King Acoustic set from this Brighton blues-based singer and guitarist. Marlborough Theatre, 8pm, £5/£4 Open mic London Unity, 9pm, free Pitch Invasion + Flick Everett + JEB Local indie bands shooting for greatness. Pav Tav, 8pm, free Sweet Hove Chicago Eight-piece Chicago blues band. From Hove! Prince Albert, 8pm, £tbc Tuberats + Blisstrooper + Move Zig For Great Justice + The AKA Band Weekly White Noise rock night with four up-and-coming bands. Pressure Point, 8pm, £4/£3

Calamity Jane Fun musical take on the story of the gun-slingin’ tomboy, performed by the New Southern Musical Productions group. Worthing Pavilion Theatre, 7.45pm, £9–£12 Gormenghast Based on the gothic, surrealist Mervyn Peak novels, this stage adaptation will take you on a journey into the mysterious rituals and grotesque characters of Gormenghast castle.

The Capitol, Horsham, please call for times/prices Kean Edmund Kean was the greatest romantic actor of the 19th century and his private life was as colourful as the roles he played.

Similarly fascinating thespian Sir Anthony Sher plays the man in this sexy, funny work by JeanPaul Sartre.Theatre Royal, 7.45pm, £16–£27

Comedy Comic Boom! Compered by Brighton's own Jo Enright, this unique show takes the risk out of seeing new acts by handpicking some of the best, and topping it off with headlining act Hal Cruttenden. Komedia, 8pm, £7.50/£5.50

Events Greyhound racing If your social life has gone to the dogs, go to the dogs. Brighton and Hove Greyhound Stadium. Evening race – please call 01273 204601 to confirm details Flamenco Regular night of live music, dancing and Spanish cuisine. Joogleberry Playhouse, 8pm, £4 check with venue before travelling. ➧ Please See our venue directory for details

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thursday 26 Live music Are You Taking The Mic? Original performers only, no covers for this open mic night. Register by e-mailing andersdmoney@yahoo.co.uk.

Providence, 8pm, free Brighton Stripped Local acts stripped down and in the raw – musically speaking of course.

Bands to be confirmed. Sussex Arts Club, 7.30pm, £tbc Cella Sessions Open mic night for original music. Sign up by 8pm. Cella, 7.30pm, free Goofer Dust Kick ass ’acoustic country blues‘.

Arthouse, 8.30pm, free Michael Marra One of Scotland’s finest songwriters, writing in a modern folk style with hints of country. An outstandingly funny man to boot. Royal Oak, Lewes, 8pm, £5 Republic Of Heaven + Them Amazing Babies + Elks + The Subliminals Cable Club local band night. Pressure Point, 8pm, £4/£3 Rumiko Jr + The Long Goodbye + Sweet Sweet Lies Summery-sounding slices of American-style pop with West Coast harmonies to soften their depressing tales of love and alcohol abuse. They’re from Hastings.

Joogleberry, 8pm, £5 Temple Hedz + System 7 + Banco de Gaia Sound System Breakbeat, ambient grooves and global rock inform this Brighton outfit. Also on the bill are veteran live progressive techno band System 7, led by legendary experimentalist Steve Hillage. Concorde 2, 9pm, £12

Killer Pool. 8pm The PV Cocktails v Clittails. 6pm-9pm Queen’s Arms Karaoke with Betty. 9pm R-Bar Cabaret with Maisie Trollette and John Bruzon. 9:30pm Revenge Manzone. Back by popular demand!

Strictly men only. Stripper from midnight.

10.30pm–3am, £2 Star Inn Big Dave’s Quiz. Open till midnight Vavoom Thirsty Thursday. Music videos all night long. Open till 4am V2 Club Music videos upstairs and karaoke downstairs until 12am. Open 10pm-late

Theatre Calamity Jane Fun musical take on the story of the gun-slingin’ tomboy, performed by the New Southern Musical Productions group. Worthing Pavilion Theatre, 7.45pm, £9–£12 Coppelia English Youth Ballet present Delibes’ story of Dr Coppelius, whose greatest desire is to bring his beloved doll to life. Worthing Connaught Theatre, 7.30pm, £16/£14 Kean Edmund Kean was the greatest romantic actor of the 19th century and his private life was as colourful as the roles he played.

Similarly fascinating thespian Sir Anthony Sher

plays the man in this sexy, funny work by JeanPaul Sartre.Theatre Royal, 7.45pm, £16–£27

Comedy Maydays Improvised Comedy Drop-In Class Your chance to join in with the mirth-making and learn improvisation from the most respected improv troupe in Sussex.The Open House, 7.30pm, £7 Laurence And Gus: Next In Line The Radio 4 stars and award-winning comedy double act come to Brighton touting a sketch show with a difference. Quirky and completely unique.

Komedia, 8pm, £10/£8

Events Art And Craft Classes For children aged 18 months to five years old. A fun weekly arts and craft class, letting youngsters explore their creativity. Malling Community Centre, Lewes.

For more info/to book please call 01273 488616.

Greyhound racing More hound-centric gambling fun. Brighton and Hove Greyhound Stadium. Evening races – please call 01273 204601 to confirm details.

Bars and clubs Audio Dynamite Boogaloo. Legendary pop/kitsch blow-out, popular with the students. £4/£3, 10pm-2am The Beach Big choons. House, dance and R’n‘B classics with The Brighton Allstars. 10:30pm3am, £4/free before 11pm Brighton Gloucester Mad For It. Indie anthems, record release celebrations and more boozy behaviour from the hard working Lout Promotions team. 10pm-2am, £3/£1.50 Casablanca Sambanation. Sunny Brazilian flavours. 9.30pm-2am, £2/£1 Cosmopolitan Bar Spinner Stays On. If the DJ’s good enough to stay on, let them know! If not, vote them off. Don’t throw tomatoes, veggies or gravel though, you might damage the decks. 7.30pm, free Creation Floorfillers. Pop encounters of the very biggest and brashest kind. 10pm-2am, £2/90p Funky Buddha Lounge Warm Your Soul.

Classic soul and funk for a slinky night out.

10pm-3am, £2/free Honeyclub Contagious. Classic house. 10pmlate, £4/£2 KooKlub Hellenic Unity. House, R’n’B and reggaeton. 10pm-3am, £5/free for ladies Pav Tav The Resurrection. Indie for the masses in this popular, centrally located sweatbox.

10pm-2am, £3/£1.50 Suga Qube Weekend warm-up with soulful and funky house. 9pm–2am, free Volks Square Roots. Dubstep and jungle.10pm3am, £6 The Zap Chopper Choons. Kitsch and cool 70s grooves, hip hop and proper R’n’B tunes for discerning dancers. And sweaty students.10pm3am, £4/free for NUS

Gay Charles Street Bar Mad Cow. Super-cheap drinks at this popular night. 8-11pm, £1 Charles Street Club Religion. House night hosted by Joan Bond with DJs Richard Jones and Tony B on the decks. 10.30pm-3am, £5/£4 flyer/£3 NUS. Harlequin Quiz and gameshow with Lady James. 8pm–2am, free Legends Dance Squeeze. 11pm–4am, free Marine Tavern Man Trap. 12pm–12am Marlborough Free pool 6pm onwards, then check with venue before travelling. ➧ Please See our venue directory for details

Coppelia, Worthing Connaught Theatre, 7.30pm

BRIGHTON AUTHOR'S FIRST NOVEL OUT NOW! latest 7 41

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friday 27 Drookit Dogs, Hope, 8pm

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Chair massage Holistic and Aromatherapy massage Reflexology Open 7 days a week – 11am till 9pm 28 Elder Place, Brighton, BN1 4GF (Off London Road, opposite London Road car park) 01273 690096

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Live music The Caretakers Live blues. Arthouse, 8.30pm, free Curst Sons Local hillbilly band with a sense of humour, and a huge repertoire of original songs.

The Half Brick, Worthing, 9pm, free Doll & The Kicks Much-touted indie band with American rock and punkish leanings, led by the big-voiced Doll, who comes across like Gwen Stefani. The Engine Room, 7.30pm, price to be confirmed Drookit Dogs + The Dirty Socials + The Voxx Hard-gigging punk-folk three-piece headlining their own residency. Hope, 8pm, £3 Frank Harrison Trio The cool sounds of the Brighton Jazz Club. Sussex Arts Club, 7.30pm, price to be confirmed Gren Bartley A new name on the folk circuit, combining guitar wizardry with mature vocals.

The Beachcomber, Seaford, 8.15pm, price to be confirmed Ska Toons Eight-piece ska, rocksteady, funk and jazz covers band. Joogleberry, 8pm, £7 Smokestack Brilliant blues, jazz grooves, hip hop beats, harmonica and slide guitar. Neptune, 8.30pm, free Soul Reality Brunswick, 8pm, £3 The Spectors + The Lanes + The Exits Providence, 8pm, £1 The Sunshine Underground + The Rumble Strips Popular and exciting Leeds band with tunes that rock the dancefloor. They’ve just completed a sell-out NME ’New Rave‘ tour with CSS and the Klaxons. The brilliant Dexysinfluenced Rumble Strips support. Concorde 2, 7pm, £10 Yann Tierson French avant garde musician and composer, best known for his Amelie soundtrack. He switches seamlessly between instruments in his unpredictable live sessions.

Influenced by French folk music and the musette waltz, as well as rock and classical. Komedia, 8.30pm, £10/£8

Bars and clubs Ali Cats Flow. Electro, breaks and booty bass in this subterranean hangout. 8pm-12am, free Aqua Bar 70s, 80s and 90s night. What’s wrong with the poor old noughties? Huh? 9pm2am, free Arc Candy. Hip hop, soul and ragga featuring resident DJs Da Playaz and guests. 10.30pm4am, £8/£5 before 12am Audio The Hook Up. Indie, drum and bass, reggae, electro and breaks with DJ set from the Bees. 11pm-3am, £5 Beach Obsession. R’n’B, hip hop, garage and house, with Ms Dynamite guesting. 10.30pm-

3am, £8 Belushi’s Madness. Sexy chart cheese and club classics. £2 selected drinks until midnight.

10pm–3am, free Brighton Gloucester Kick Out The Jams. Indie and rock collide in a Saturday night feast of guitars and grooves. 10.30pm-2am, £4/£3 Casablanca Mirror Ball. Funky disco, as you would expect from the name. 10.30pm-3am £6/£5/£4 Concorde 2 Ape X. Techno from Billy Nasty.

12am-late, £6 Cosmopolitan All Time Top 100. One of Brighton’s most diverse music-focused nights out. 8pm-2am, free Creation Popdaparty. Three rooms of commercial tunery to cop off to. 9pm-3am, £5/free before 11pm Engine Rooms Deviant. goth, industrial and indie for those of a more sinister persuasion.

11pm-3am, £5/£4 Funky Buddha Thank Funk It’s Friday. With DJs Sean Quinn and Stuart Ross. 10pm-3am £8/£6 before 11pm Funky Buddha 3am. Early morning acid for insomniac dancefloor dynamos. Tonight with Dulcie Danger on the decks. 3pm-7am £8/£5 Funky Fish Funk, soul and classic rock ‘n’ roll with a party vibe. 10pm-3am, £5/£4 before 11:30 Honeyclub Hed Kandi. Glam house at this wellknown clubbers’ paradise. 10pm-3am £13/£11 Jazz Place Basement Soul. Sexy sounds for a smooth night out. 10:30pm-3am, £5/£4 KooKlub Something Of Nothing. Fun club night with R’n‘B and house music. 10pm-3am, £4/£3 Komedia Detournement. Anti-muso post-punk with a pinch of electro. Not one of Delia’s better-known recipes. 11pm-3am, £5 Lo Lounge The House Sessions. Nothing to do with Hugh Laurie, this is quality floor-filling music with regular guests. 10pm-3am, £5 Ocean Rooms Dirty Weekend. Featuring Goose and mash-up meister IDC .11pm-4am, £5 Pressure Point Electric Playboys Club. Eclectic tunes from Sick l’il Monkeys. 12am-4am, free Pav Tav Rip It Up. Indie anthems to kick-start a weekend of excess. 10pm-2am, £4/£3 Suga Qube Evening mass. Sexy, soulful house.

9pm–late, free Volks Cutterz Choice. Drum and bass plus dubstep to get you moving. 11pm-5am, £6 The Zap DJ Yoda. The scritchy-scratchy one cuts it up rough. Amazing he can reach the decks being so short and green and everything.

11pm-3am, £10

Gay Candy Bar Pop Rock Vs Booty Call. 9pm-morning.

Charles Street Bar Fairylea. Cheesy, camp tracks with DJs Ruby Roo & Connie Conway.

10.30pm-late Charles Street Club Revo. New funky electro club night with DJ Tom Logan. 10.30pm-3am, £5 Harlequin Shaft. Strictly men only. 9pm-4am, £5 Legends Bar Pre-Yo-Yo. 11am-5am Legends Dance Yo-Yo. Commercial dance and chart sounds with DJ Alex Baker. 11pm-4am, £5/free before midnight Marlborough Live DJ from 9pm. Open till 2am The PV Easy, cheesy Friday. 12pm-1am Queen’s Arms Andy B’s Camp Attack.Open till 1am R–Bar Official Lollipop warm-up party.

Open till 2am Revenge Lollipop Vs Kinky Dangerous. DJ Dulcie Danger banging away upstairs with the fabulous Lollipop Girls hosting downstairs.

10.30pm–5am, £5 before 11pm, £7 after.

Rehab Therapy. Brighton Marina’s swish new weekly gay night. 9pm-4am Vavoom Bar Boyz. Promos till 6pm and when certain tracks play. Dance music videos all night Open till 6am V2 Club Music videos upstairs and karaoke downstairs until 12am. 10pm-late, members free

Theatre Calamity Jane Fun musical take on the story of the gunslingin’ tomboy from the New Southern Musical Productions group. Worthing Pavilion Theatre, 7.45pm, £12/£9 Coppelia English Youth Ballet present Delibes’ story of Dr Coppelius, whose greatest desire is to bring his beloved doll to life. Worthing Connaught Theatre, 7.30pm, £16/£14 Kean Edmund Kean was the greatest romantic actor of the 19th century and his private life was as colourful as the roles he played.

Similarly fascinating thespian Sir Anthony Sher plays the man in this sexy, funny work by JeanPaul Sartre.Theatre Royal, 7.45pm, £27/£16 Tosca Music Theatre 2000 present a fullystaged version of Puccini’s classic opera, sung in Italian and performed with an orchestra. The story itself is a tense thriller based around art, love and politics. The Capitol, Horsham, please call for times and prices

Comedy Kronenbourg Krater Comedy Club Kev McCarthy, TV's Rob Deering and Andrew Maxwell provide a triple-bill of high class comedy, compered by the lovely Stephen Grant.

Komedia, 7.30pm, £12/£10 Rabbit In The Headlights A mixture of new acts and new material, giving you the chance to catch tomorrow’s stars today. The Marlborough Theatre, 8pm, £6 check with venue before travelling. ➧ Please See our venue directory for details

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saturday 28 Live music Cara Dillon Leading light of the new generation of young traditional artists with a string of superb albums under her belt. Pavilion, Hailsham, 7.30pm, £17.50 The Church Legendary cult band from Australia best known for their 1988 album Starfish.

Concorde 2, 7pm, £12 The Jesse Love Band Joyful soul and love vibes with some serious grooves. Very musical, recalling Stevie Wonder and Omar. Joogleberry, 8pm, £8 The Mekano Set The Engine Room, 7.30pm, price to be confirmed Nigel Clarke + Nat Jenkins + Flavor Country Ex-Dodgy frontman who’s just released a great solo album, 21st Century Man, full of melody and classic-sounding tunes. Pressure Point, 8pm, £4 One Night Of Queen Queen tribute band fronted by Gary Mullen who won the 2000 Stars In Their Eyes TV competition. He will, he will rock you. Hopefully. Brighton Centre, 7.30pm, £20 Samsara + Hey Falcone + Will Rendle Ska and reggae-flavoured night with the marvellous dub-heavy Samsara headlining. Providence, 8pm, £1 Soul Reality Soul, funk and psychedelic grooves from these London sessioners. Cella, 7.30pm, £6 Starbase 109 + Torque + Will ‘Harmonica’ Slide & Neptune Blues Band + Slim Tim Slide The Real Music Club presents another diverse musical evening. Expect everything from industrial futurism to traditional blues.Ocean Rooms, 7.30pm, £5/£4 The Stuart James Band British blues-rock with a great reputation. Brunswick, 8pm, £3 Educated Animals + Silvery Eclectic and upbeat mix of live music, performance and DJs. Hope, 8pm, £2.50 Sweet Hove Chicago Eight-piece Chicago blues band. From Hove! The Mill House, 8pm, price to be confirmed

Bars and clubs Ali Cats Uni-Fi. Nu-skool and old-skool breaks.

8pm-12am, free Audio Stompa Phunk. The very best in underground house with Leftfield’s Paul Daley guesting. 11pm-4am £8/£6 Arc Holdup! Brighton’s favourite indie night with regular guests and dancefloors on two levels.10pm–4am, £5 The Beach Fever. Disco and funk at this upbeat weekend session. 10.30pm-4am, £10/£8 Belushi’s Utopia. 80s classics and club

anthems. £2 selected drinks until midnight.

10pm–3am, free Casablanca Batcuda. Live Latino and classic tunes with new school funk thrown in. Quite a party. 11pm-4am, £7/£6/£5 Concorde 2 Devotion. Banging drum and bass night, tonight with Goldie as a special guest.

8pm-late, £10 Core Club Mo’ Money. Hip hop with Bill Blast.

10pm-4am £8/£5 Creation Anthems. Dress to impress and expect the unexpected at this bangin’ weekly party.

9pm-late, £10/free before 10pm Engine Rooms Lowlife. Rock and indie mix in this loveably scuzzy club. 10.30pm-4am, £5 Funky Buddha Lounge Buddha Soul. Funk and soul of course. 10pm-2am £10/£7 Funky Buddha Lounge Bright ’n‘ Early. Late night house so you can pretend you’re in Ibiza.

3am-8am, £8 Funky Fish Funk, soul and classic rock ‘n’ roll with a party vibe. 10pm-3am, £6/£5 before 11 Hectors House DISC Indie/electro in a big studenty pub with Tim Jenson and residents.

9pm-2am, free Honeyclub Seven Sins. Funky big room house with Matt Hardwick and Simon Patterson.

10.30pm-5am £12/£7 Jazz Place Jazz Rooms. Russ Dewbury spins jazz, funk, afro and latin tunes. 10.30pm-3am £6/£5 Ocean Rooms The Real Music Club. See ’Live music‘ section. 7.30pm-11pm £5/£4 Ocean Rooms Blow. Electro after-party.

3.30am-10am, £5/£4 The Penthouse L’Amour Electronique. Synth pop. 8pm-late, free Po Na Na Good Turn. Modern soul. 10pm-3am £10/£8 Pressure Point Rapture. With Redford and DJ Devestate. 12am-4am, £5 Suga Qube Qubed. Rare groove and funk 6pm9pm, upfront and energetic house 9pm-late.

6pm-late Volks Bloc. Techno, drum and bass, rave. Back to help you launch the summer with some top gadgies from north of the border. Expect fast track dynamic assault from people who care.

Headliner is B*Wilder. 11pm-4am, £6/£5 The Zap Playroom. House music in a unique setting to appeal to your playful side. 10.30pm5am £15/£10

Gay Brighton Gloucester Monkey. Wild Fruit’s Saturday nighter. Brighton’s favourite DJs playing some top tunes. 10pm-4am, NUS £5 all night, others £5 before 11pm/£7 before midnight/£9 after

Candy Bar FTPA. Homo-electric disco with DJs W*nker and A-dam. Google the name for a better idea of what to expect. 10pm-5am, £5 Charles Street Club Nervous Twitch by Shibby Shabblers. Top indie night. 11pm-3am, £5 Harlequin Titty la Camp on stage. 9pm-4am, free before 11pm/£5 after Legends Bar Pre-Ignition.11am–5am Legends Dance Ignition. Commercial house and chart sounds with DJ Peter Castle. 11pm4am, free before 11pm, £5 after Marlborough Live DJ from 9pm. Open till 2am The PV DJ Dave from 9pm. Open till 1am Queens Arms Julie Glitter’s Karaoke Party. 9pm R-Bar Open 24 hours! Pop videos all night. Great food all day. Discount tickets for Revenge available.

Revenge Queercarnage. DJs Dusty O and Nik C. All drinks £2 before 12. 10.30pm-6am, free before 11pm/£5 before 12am/£7 after 12am/£3 after 3am, NUS £3 Star Inn Proud To Bear night. 8pm-1am Vavoom Underwear Party. Open till 6am V2 Club Underwear Party continues. Open from 10pm-late, members get free entry, others £2/free before midnight

Theatre Calamity Jane Fun musical take on the story of the gunslingin’ tomboy from the New Southern Musical Productions group. Worthing Pavilion Theatre, 2.45pm and 7.45pm, £12-£9 Coppelia English Youth Ballet present Delibes’ story of Dr Coppelius, whose greatest desire is to bring his beloved doll to life. Worthing Connaught Theatre, 7.30pm, £16/£14 Cowboy Cabaret Komedia is transformed into a Western saloon in this raunchy burlesque comedy complete with gunslingers and live music. Komedia, 7pm, £15-£10 Kean Edmund Kean was the greatest romantic actor of the 19th century and his private life was as colourful as the roles he played. Sir Anthony Sher plays the man in this sexy, funny work by Jean-Paul Sartre.Theatre Royal, 2.30pm and 7.45pm, £27-£16 Swing And Sinatra A night of songs from the swing era, with familiar hits from the Rat Pack, Glenn Miller and Ella Fitzgerald. The Capitol, Horsham, please call for times and prices

Comedy Kronenbourg Krater Comedy Club Kev McCarthy, TV's Rob Deering and Andrew Maxwell provide a triple-bill of high-class comedy, presented by the delectable Rob Heeney. Komedia, 7pm and 10.30pm, £16 When The Script Hits The Fan Improv comedic anarchy from the highly-praised Mayday Improvisation troupe. Book early as this sells out fast. The Marlborough Theatre, 8pm, £6

Events

Cara Dillon, Hailsham Pavilion, 7.30pm

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Art Masterclass Join artist and illustator Su Hendra and learn different skills to develop your art. Brighton Museum, ages 13 and over, 1.304pm, £4 Your Big Sussex Weekend Encouraging local people to discover the attractions right on their doorstep, with discounted entry to over 70 top attractions across East and West Sussex. Proof of address required. Visit www.thebigsussex.co.uk to see the attractions involved and to download discount vouchers or call in at the nearest Tourist Information office.

Creative Writing And Photography Bring along a pen, paper and a photo (if you like!) to share and learn how photography can sharpen your focus and develop your creative writing.

You don’t even need to own a camera! A great insight into creative writing for those looking to write a novel, short story, memoir or poem. With Claire Collison. Brighton Writers’ Centre, 10 places available (minimum of 8 places need to be booked for this course to run). Pre-book with Ella on 01273 571700. 10am-1pm, £15/£14/£13

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818150 Enjoy the KOBA ‘Happy hour’ Two cocktails for the price of one between 5-7pm every day in the front bar. Apply for free K-list membership at www.kobauk.com

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EXCITING NEW ROUTES AT BRIGHTON’S CLIMBING WALL! YOUNG PEOPLE AND ADULTS GROUPS Youth and Community • Schools and Colleges • Birthday Parties • Corporate Special events • Regular kids clubs Equipment provided • Qualified Instruction

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Experienced: Open session every Tuesday 6-10pm and Thursday 7-10pm. Equipment hire available

The Rock Court is at Stanley Deason Leisure Centre Wilson Avenue, Brighton CONTACT US FOR DETAILS OF OUR REGULAR KIDS CLUBS AND OTHER AVAILABILITY

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sunday 29 Live music Acoustic jam session Weekly chilled evening of acoustic jamming (with PA). Portland, 8pm, free Anemo + Hannah Talbot + Lisa Theunissen Acoustic vibes for a laid-back Sunday night. Pav Tav, 8pm, free The Autons + Kick! + EJ Norman Shifty Disco-signed indie band who claim to have met auditioning to be extras in Dr Who. Pressure Point, 8pm, £4/£3 Capdown Livewire political punk band with ska and reggae in the mix. Very popular, they’ve toured with US ska superstars Less Than Jake and many more. Concorde 2, 6pm, £9 Cinematic Orchestra With a new album due soon, this outfit makes music of profound beauty, exploring jazz and dance, with a panoramic vision that takes in trip-hop and drum & bass via strings, samples and electronica.

Komedia, 7.30pm, £14 Deep Purple The legendary rockers are back with Ian Gillan at the helm and featuring original members Roger Glover and Ian Paice.

Brighton Centre, 6.45pm, £31.50 Fitsroy + The Telegraphs The South:Live Albert Sessions is a monthly showcase for unsigned bands. Tonight sees ska, punk and rock fusioneers Fitsroy and epic rockers The Telegraphs treading the boards. Prince Albert, 7.30pm, free Haves And Carling As in Janis Haves and Tony Carling – a singer-songwriter double act.

Neptune, 8.30pm, free Katya Gorrie An Archie’s Music Club night featuring the Canadian jazz vocalist. The Capitol, Horsham, 7.30pm, £8 Kaz Simmons + Eliza Wren Payne Mix of originals and covers with Spanish and Brazilian classical guitar styles and orchestral pop influences. Joogleberry, 8pm, £6 Kris Bell & Friends Weekly acoustic shindig hosted by Kris Bell, with friends playing a mix of covers and originals. Chequers 8.30pm, free Mungo Momby Inventive rock’n’roll influenced

by Zappa, Queen, the Beatles and more. Cella, 7.30pm, £5/£4 Peter Lorenz & Paul Jazz duo. Brunswick, 3pm, free Steve Hicks From ragtime and story songs to South American virtuoso guitar pieces, dance tunes and Celtic melodies. The Normandy Centre, Denne Road, Horsham, 8pm, £2-£6 Thee More Shallows + The Chap Signed to super-cool Anticon, this lot have a rabid fanbase Thee More Shallows, Hope, 7.30pm

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who can’t get enough of their leftfield and experimental hotch-potch of generally spooky sounds and melancholy vibes. Hope, 7.30pm, £8/£6.50

Bars and clubs Cosmopolitan Bar The Full Moon pub quiz and Sunday roasts. Quiz starts 7.30pm, roasts from 1–6pm Honeyclub Sundelicious. Big room electro to cap off your weekend and balls up your Monday morning at work. 10pm-2am £1/free St. Christopher’s Open mic night. Open until 2am Suga Qube Carry On Sunday. House with John Byrne, Make:Waves and Charmain. Free The Zap Sunday School. Funky tribal house, but no stories about Jesus (just in case you were wondering). 10pm-late £5/£3

Gay Candy Bar Club Tropicana. From 9pm, free Charles Street Club Sunday Service. Religion’s new Sunday night party. 10.30pm–3am, £4 Legends Bar Kandy Kane as Laquisha Jonz.

11am–5am Legends Dance Embrace.11pm–4am, free Marlborough Live acoustic music. 6pm The PV Matty Eeles provides music. 6pm Queen’s Arms Super Sunday! Cabaret with Davina Sparkle at 5.15pm then Betty’s Karaoke Show. Open till 11pm R-Bar Cabaret with Tony Page on stage at 4.30pm. Open till 2am Revenge Dance, chart and funky house.

10.30pm–3am, £2 before midnight then £3 Star Inn Bears’ Beer Bash! 4pm–late Vavoom Chill-out music videos all day. Open till 3am

Theatre The Elves And The Shoemaker Kids show using puppets to tell the story of Elvis Schumacher, who creates beautiful footwear but finds people are buying boring shoes from the evil businessman instead. 3+, Komedia, 2pm, £5

Comedy Kronenbourg Krater Comedy Club Kev McCarthy, TV's Rob Deering and Andrew Maxwell provide a triple bill of high-class comedy, compered by the lovely Stephen Grant.

Komedia, 8pm, £9/£6 NUS Sidesplitters Rob Heeney headlines this regular Sunday funny show, accompanied by an opening set from Ross Ashcroft. The Providence, 8pm, £4

Events Car Boot Sale Weekly car boot. No stalls before 12.30pm, Plumpton Racecourse, BN7 3AZ, £10 vans/£8 cars, 50p adults entry Creepy Crawlies Day Meet some mini monsters including scary spiders and weird insects in this special event for all the family.

Experts from the British Tarantula Society will be on hand to answer questions. Drusillas Park, Alfriston, 01273 847100. 11am-4pm, please call for prices.

Greyhound racing Pick a winner, then spend your money on a slap-up meal in the Skyline restaurant. Brighton and Hove Greyhound Stadium. Evening races – please call 01273 204601 to confirm details.

Your Big Sussex Weekend Encouraging local people to discover the attractions right on their doorstep, with discounted entry to over 70 top attractions across East and West Sussex. Proof of address required. Visit www.thebigsussex.co.uk to see the attractions involved and to download discount vouchers or call in at the nearest Tourist Information office.

McFly, Brighton Dome, 7.30pm

Live music Australian Pink Floyd Classic prog rock, Antipodean-style. Brighton Centre, 8pm, £24.50 Can U Joogle? Open mic night. Send a demo to Carly at the venue to get on the bill.

Joogleberry, 8pm, free Charlie Dore Respected UK songwriter who had a hit back in the 80s with ‘Pilot Of The Airwaves’. Last year’s Cuckoo Hill album was an outstanding collection of melodic tunes and subversive lyrics. The Ravenswood, Sharpthorne, 8pm, £10 The Copper Family Extraordinary Sussex family of traditional folk singers who have strived long and hard to keep the legacy alive.

The Greys, 8pm, £6 McFly Tom, Danny, Harry and Dougie make up this stoopidly successful pop rock outfit who have the girls screaming, and the boys feeling vaguely inadequate. Brighton Dome, 7.30pm, £22.50 NY Loose & The Sweet Zeroes New group featuring members of Brit-rock favourites The Wildhearts Engine Room, 7.30pm, £4 Tiger Army + Deadline + Kitty Hudson Psychobilly rockers who transcend genres with an intoxicating mix of vintage punk, rock‘n’roll and bittersweet melody. They’ve been around for 10 years now. Concorde 2, 7.30pm, £12.50

Bars and clubs Audio We Is 100. Party on with the Source magazine’s birthday bash. 9pm-2am, free Beach We Love 90s. Tunes from way back when.

Well, not that far back. 10.30pm-3am, £2/90p Casablanca Now That’s What I Call The Eighties. Tunes from a bit further ‘back when’.

10.30pm-3am, free Cosmopolitan Bar Parlour Games. Have a drink and play some games. Bring your own games or choose from the selection at the bar.

Anyone for Hungry Hippos? Free Funky Buddha Lounge Caramel. R’n’B, hip hop and funk. 10.30pm-3.30am £3/£1 Honey Club Stardust versus Corrosion. Cheese and rock catch-all double header. £4.50/£1.50 11pm-4am Suga Qube 2-4-1 on cocktails. It’s a dangerous game to play on a school night. 5pm–2am, free Volks Tip Top present Strictly Reggae. Dancehall, bashment and roots. 10pm-late, £4.50/£3.50

Gay Charles Street Club Studio 150. Party tunes with DJs Luke and Ali and sexy dancers.

10.30pm–3am, £1.50 Legends Dance Mojo. Classics from across the decades. 11pm-4am, free Marine Tavern Elsie’s Chillout. 12pm-12am Marlborough Student social night with games, pool and tunes. From 6pm R-Bar Miss Jason’s Madhouse. 10pm-late Revenge Boogaloo Stu’s Shinky Shonky. All drinks £2.10.30pm-3am, free

Theatre Charley’s Aunt Stephen Tompkinson (he of Brassed Off, Ballykissangel and lots of other stuff fame) stars in this comedy about mistaken identity, cross dressing, deranged uncles and ravishing young ladies in Edwardian Oxford.

Theatre Royal Brighton, 7.45pm, £16–£26

In partnership with Brighton and Hove Council

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check with venue before travelling. ➧ Please See our venue directory for details

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A-Z venue directory Brighton and Hove Ali Cats 80 East Street, Brighton 01273 220902 Amsterdam 11 Marine Parade 01273 688825 www.amsterdam.uk.com Aqua 23 Waterfront Brighton Marina 01273 819800 Aquarium 6 Steine Street, Brighton 01273 605525 www.pleisure.com Arc 160 Kings Road Arches 01273 770505 Arthouse Gallery 10 Western Road, Hove 01273 770083 Audio 10 Marine Parade 01273 606906 www.audiobrighton.com Bar Bamboogy 78 West Street, Brighton www.creationbrighton.com Barley Mow 92 St George’s Road 01273 682259 The Beach 171–181 Kings Road Arches, Brighton 01273 722272 Belushi’s 10-12 Grand Junction Road, Brighton 01273 202035 Brighton Centre Kings Road, Brighton 0870 900 9100 www.brightoncentre.co.uk Brighton College Eastern Road www.brightoncollege.net Brighton Dome 29 New Road, Brighton 01273 709709 www.brighton-dome.org.uk Brighton Gloucester 27 Gloucester Place 01273 688011 Brighton and Hove Greyhound Stadium Nevill Road, Hove 01273 204601 www.trap6.com/hove Brighton Museum & Art Gallery Royal Pavilion Gardens, 01273 290900 Brighton Peace & Environment Centre Brighton Ecocentre, 39–41 Surrey Street 01273 766610 Brighton Rocks 6 Rock Place 01273 601139 Brighton Women’s Centre 72 High Street, Brighton 01273 698036 The Brunswick 1 Holland Road, Hove 01273 733984 Bulldog, 31 St James’s Street 01273 696996 www.bulldogbrighton.com Candy Bar 129 St James’s Street 01273 622424 www.thecandybar.co.uk Caroline of Brunswick 39 Ditchling Road, Brighton 01273 624434 Casablanca Middle Street, Brighton 01273 321817 Cella at Sanctuary Café 51–55 Brunswick St East, Hove 01273 770006 Charles Street Bar & Club 8 Marine Parade 01273 624091 www.charlesstreetbar.com Cineworld Brighton Marina Village 01273 818094 www.cineworld.co.uk Clair Hall Perrymount Road, Haywards Heath 01444 455440 Concorde 2 Madeira Drive, Brighton 01273 673311 www.concorde2.co.uk Core Club 12–15 King’s Road, Brighton 01273 326848 Corn Exchange 29 New Road, Brighton 01273 709709 www.brighton-dome.org.uk Cornerstone Community Centre Church Road, Hove 01273 327757 Cosmopolitan Bar 29-31 New Steine 01273 682461 The Cowley Club 12 London Road, Brighton 01273 696104 www.cowleyclub.org.uk Creation 78 West Street, Brighton 01273 321628 www.creationbrighton.com Doctor Brighton’s 16–17 Kings Road 01273 328765 www.pleisure.com Dome 29 New Road, Brighton 01273 709709 www.brighton-dome.org.uk Duke of York’s Picturehouse Preston Circus, Brighton 01273 626261 www.picturehouses.co.uk Education Room Brighton Pavilion 01273 296971 Engine Room 5 Preston Street, Brighton 01273 728999 www.engineroomclub.com Enigma 10 Ship Street, Brighton 01273 328439 www.theenigmabrighton.co.uk The Fishbowl 74 East Street 01273 777505 Fitzherberts 25 New Road 01273 682401 Freebutt 1 Phoenix Place 01273 603974 Freemasons 38 Western Road, Hove 01273 732043 Funky Buddha Lounge 169–170 Kings Road Arches, Brighton 01273 725541 Gap Club 61a Western Road, Hove 0844 999 6349 Gardner Arts Centre, University of Sussex campus, Falmer 01273 685861 www.gardnerarts.co.uk The George 5 Trafalgar Street, Brighton 01273 681055 The Globe 78 Middle Street, Brighton 01273 727114 The Greys 105 Southover Street, Brighton 01273 680734 The Hanbury Club 83 St George’s Road, Brighton 01273 605789 Hare & Hounds 75 London Road, Brighton 01273 681163

Harlequin 43 Providence Place, Brighton 01273 620630 www.harlequin-brighton.co.uk Hobgoblin 31 York Place, Brighton 01273 602519 Honeyclub 214 Kings Road Arches, 01273 202807 www.thehoneyclub.co.uk The Hope 10–12 Queen’s Road, Brighton 01273 325793 Hove Museum & Art Gallery 194 Church Road, Hove 01273 290200 Hove Town Hall, Norton Road, Hove 0870 900 9100 www.brighton-hove.gov.uk Jazz Place 10 Ship Street, Brighton 01273 328439 www.thejazzplacebrighton.co.uk Joogleberry Playhouse 14–17 Manchester Street, Brighton 01273 687171 www.joogleberry.com Juggler Bar 21 Western Road, Hove 01273 724195 King and Queen 13 Marlborough Place, Brighton 01273 606207 Komedia Gardner Street, Brighton 01273 647100 www.komedia.co.uk Koo Klub 10 Pool Valley, Brighton 01273 888000 www.kooklub.co.uk Lo Lounge 106 Kings Road, Brighton 01273 715077 Marlborough Bar & Theatre 4 Princes Street, Brighton 07782 278521 www.marlboroughtheatre.co.uk Marine Tavern 13 Broad Street, Brighton 01273 681284 www.harlequin-brighton.co.uk Mint Meeting House Lane 0871 2072 088 Mojo’s Bar & Restaurant 103 North Road, Brighton 01273 622522 New Madeira Hotel 19-23 Marine Parade, Brighton 01273 698331 New Venture Theatre Bedford Place 01273 746118 www.newventure.org.uk Ocean Rooms 1–2 Morley Street, Brighton 01273 699069 Odeon Cinema West Street, Brighton 0871 224 4007 www.odeon.co.uk Ohso Social 250a Kings Road Arches, Brighton 01273 746067 The Old Market Upper Market Street, Hove 01273 736222 www.theoldmarket.co.uk The Park Crescent Pub 39 Park Crescent Terrace, Brighton 01273 604993 Pavilion Tavern 7–8 Castle Square, Brighton 0844 999 6331 Pavilion Theatre 29 New Road, Brighton 01273 709709 www.brighton-dome.org.uk Penthouse (above the Freebutt), 1 Phoenix Place, Brighton 01273 603 974 Pintxo People 95-99 Western Road, Brighton 01273 732323 www.pintxopeople.co.uk Portland Rock Bar 153 Portland Road, Hove 01273 383840 www.portlandrockbar.co.uk Po Na Na Unit 2, 75-79 East Street, Brighton 01273 777904 www.ponana.com Pressure Point 33 Richmond Place, Brighton 01273 702333 www.pressurepoint.me.uk Preston Manor Preston Drove, Brighton 01273 292770 Prestonville Arms 64 Hamilton Road, Brighton 01273 701007 Prince Albert 48 Trafalgar Street, Brighton 01273 730499 The Providence 130 Western Road, Hove 01273 727822 PV 22 Upper North Street, Brighton 01273 325491 www.thepv.co.uk Queen’s Arms 7 George Street, Brighton 01273 696873 R-Bar 7 Marine Parade, Brighton 01273 608133 www.revenge.co.uk Red Roaster Café 1d St James’s Street, Brighton 01273 686668 Rehab Brighton Marina 01273 675007 www.rehabbrighton.com Rendezvous Casino Brighton Marina 01273 605602 www.rendezvouscasino.com Revenge 32 Old Steine, Brighton 01273 606064 www.revenge.co.uk Revue Bar 19 New Steine, Brighton 01273 607456 Riki Tik 18a Bond Street, Brighton 01273 683844 Saqqara 158 North Street, Brighton 01273 779701 Sky Bar 54-55 Meeting House Lane, Brighton www.skybarbrighton.com Star Inn 5–9 Manchester Street, Brighton 01273 601450 Suga Qube 5 Castle Square 01273 770246 Sumo 9–12 Middle Street 01273 749465 Sussex Arts Club 7 Ship Street 01273 778020

Comprehensive list of venues to complement our listings

Theatre Royal New Road 08700 606650 www.theambassadors.com/theatreroyal V2 5 Steine Street, Brighton 01273 609672 Vanilla Bar 73a Western Road, Hove 01273 748182 Vavoom 31 Old Steine, Brighton 01273 603010 Volks The Colonnade, 3 Madeira Drive, Brighton 01273 682828 www.volksclub.co.uk Western Front Near Churchill Square, Brighton 01273 725656 White Horse 30 Camelford St, Brighton 01273 603726 Wild Fruit @ Creation, 78 West Street, Brighton www.wildfruit.co.uk West Hill Hall Compton Avenue, Brighton The Zap Kings Road Arches, Brighton 01273 202407 Zoot Street Bar Queens Road, Brighton 01273 737770 The Zone 33 St James’s Street, Brighton 01273 626442

Around Sussex The Anchor Inn Anchor Lane, Barcombe 01273 400414 www.anchorinnandboating.co.uk Ashdown Forest Broadstone car park, second left from Wychcross Assembly Hall Connaught Theatre Pavilion Theatre, Union Place, Worthing 01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk The Black Horse High Street, Findon, Worthing 01903 872301 Bluebell Railway Sheffield Park Station, East Sussex 01825 720800 Café Blue Pevensey Road, Eastbourne 07834 405675 The Capitol North Street, Horsham 01403 750220 Chichester Festival Theatre Oaklands Park 01243 781312 www.cft.org.uk Clair Hall Perrymount Road, Haywards Heath 01444 455440 Congress Theatre Carlisle Road, Eastbourne 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Devonshire Park Theatre Compton Street, Eastbourne 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Fountain Inn High Street, Handcross 01444 400218 www.fountainpub.co.uk The Half Brick 221 Brighton Road, Worthing 01903 234196 The Hawth Hawth Avenue, Crawley 01293 553636 www.hawth.co.uk Horsham Folk Club The Normandy Centre, Denne Road, Horsham 01306 875653 www.horshamfolkclub.co.uk Jack Horner 80 High Street, Worthing 01903 236427 Malling Community Centre Spences Lane, Lewes 01273 477931 www.mallingcommunitycentre.com Martlets Martlets Hall, Civic Way, Burgess Hill 01444 242888 Royal Hippodrome Theatre 108 Seaside Road, Eastbourne 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Royal Oak Station Street, Lewes 01273 478124 St Thomas à Beckett Church Hall Cliffe High Street, Lewes United Reformed Church Clinton Place, corner of Broad Street, Seaford Winter Garden Theatre Compton Street, Eastbourne 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Worthing Museum & Art Gallery Chapel Road, Worthing 01903 221140 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk Worthing Connaught Theatre Union Place, Worthing 01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk Worthing Pavilion Theatre Marine Parade, Worthing 01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk

■ We try to ensure all event details are correct but regret we cannot be held responsible for any inaccuracies. Please check directly with the venue before travelling ■

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City council elections 2007 With Brighton and Hove City Council elections coming up, Latest 7 shines a light on the city’s political landscape, asking a candidate from each party why they are standing

David Van Day Conservative Party Planning “I believe the planning system should work in the interests of local people. I will work to limit the attack on unsuitable land sites and urge developers to build properties with adequate car parking. Affordable homes need to be available for the whole community.”

Transport “Transport policy in the city needs to be re-balanced, recognising the need for car use as well as encouraging sustainable transport options. By more sensible road layouts we will encourage faster-flowing traffic.”

NHS “I believe that local health services should be properly funded by central government. The Conservatives will work with the NHS to put jointly provided services on a firm financial basis.”

Education “I want to see all schools improved so parents from across the city will feel confident about the education their children will receive.”

Transparency “A Conservative council will work with the grain of local people and carefully listen to all views. We will improve consultation, keep the open committee system and re-connect with residents who feel their views are ignored by the present administration.”

Karen Barford Labour Party “Early in my adult life, I realised that I identified more closely with the Labour Party than any other political group,” says Karen Barford. “Living, working and bringing up my four children in Brighton under the Labour council has reinforced this view.

“I embraced the opportunity to stand in Woodingdean, feeling that I am well equipped to represent local residents. I have a strong interest in local issues and the local impact of national policy and legislation.

“I feel that it is important to encourage people to participate in decisions that will affect their daily lives. I am especially keen to ensure that hard-to-reach groups are given equal opportunity to access information and services.

Labour’s achievements have been outstanding but there is still so much to do. This is a crucial election. Voting anything other than Labour could mean a Tory council.”

46 latest 7

Rachel Fryer Green Party Rachel Fryer is a well-known local pianist, teacher and Green Party activist, who lives in Queens Park. Always passionate about environmental issues, she quickly realised just how much could be achieved as a result of the strong support for Green politics in the area and decided to get involved.

“I am standing for the Green Party in this election, because I think it is vital that the council addresses environmental issues in a far more radical and effective way,” she said.

“We are the only party with the vision and policies capable of delivering the kind of sustainable changes needed to produce a more fulfilling lifestyle for everyone in our city, while treating the earth with the respect it deserves.”

James Ledward Liberal Democrats For the past 15 years James Ledward has been the editor of Gscene magazine and during that time has been a vocal critic of the city council’s funding of the voluntary sector. He believes that local politicians have surrendered too much power to council officers who make decisions on a daily basis without reference to voters. Consultation happens but the council doesn’t listen with too many decisions made outside the political process.

He supports the city’s major developments, as he sees them necessary to move the city forward both as a tourist and conference destination, creating more jobs and providing more business for the hotel and leisure sector.

He believes that Labour has not delivered a coherent parking regime for the city and everyone should be able to park near their home.

He believes that parents should be able to send their children to schools of their choice. A new school for central and East Brighton is the only remedy to the present problems.

Health workers are demoralised and feel undervalued. He believes we need a complete review of National Health workers’ salaries.

Please note: the views expressed in this feature do not necessarily reflect the views of Latest 7

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Photo: Peter Knight

Other parties and independents We would love to have featured everyone standing in the local elections, but with over 250 candidates standing we simply do not have enough space. The candidates featured were selected at random from the parties represented in the election. Other parties and independent candidates that are also standing across the city include: Ben Potter (English Democrats), Brian Ralfe (Independent), Gemma Furness (Independent), Nigel Furness (Independent), Peter Poole (Independent), Nick Savvides (Independent), Jo Offer (Independent), Tracey-Ann Ross, John Walshe (Independent), Debbie Dawes (Independent) and Jayne Patricia Bennett (Independent).

Tony Greenstein Alliance for Green Socialism “I am standing for the Alliance for Green Socialism because we need to create a society that is based on the needs of people, not the greed of the privatisers and asset strippers. How can we tackle global warming when it is capitalism which, through blind and unplanned production, is destroying the planet. Look at Microsoft with its new Vista system, designed to run only on new computers, necessitating the dumping of perfectly good computers that are ‘obsolete’. People not profit!”

Robert Stuart Nemeth Conservative Party “I’m standing because I simply enjoy and take pride in doing my bit. But, I’m also running as a Conservative because I believe that families, friends, neighbours, charities and societies are better at solving problems than inefficient governments.

Architecture is my thing and I believe that the built environment generally has a massive bearing on people’s happiness. I and my Regency Ward running mate, Mike Macfarlane, hope to inject some real energy and passion into what should be Europe’s most exciting city!”

David Bangs Respect “Brighton is becoming a place where ordinary people cannot live. The housing market has gone mad and no new affordable public housing is built. Private landlords rip off tenants. We need homes and an end to poverty wages. Labour and Tory serve the rich. Greens and Lib Dems fudge the issues. Respect opposes privatisation, immoral wars and the destruction of nature.”

John McLeod Socialist Labour Party “I’m a lifelong socialist who joined the Socialist Labour Party at its birth in 1997 because I took the view, as many others did, that to fight for a socialist society was no longer practical within Blair’s New Labour Party. In Brighton, eight out of ten council housing tenants voted against transfer to a Housing Association and I’m proud to have chaired this local campaign, and to be endorsed by councillors Tonks and Hazelgrove who served on the housing committee.”

Please note: the views expressed in this feature do not necessarily reflect the views of Latest 7

Tony Davenport Brighton & Hove Independent “I, like many residents, have had enough of the shameful way political parties and the council have treated us, conducting sham consultations where the results are foregone conclusions, ignoring residents’ opinions and objections. I love Brighton and Hove and believe that our city needs – and deserves – a fresh start and proper representation for residents: in fact, genuine democracy.”

Mark Stack Protest Vote Party “We want to end the culture of politicians ignoring the electorate and getting away with it. We give people the right to vote ‘None of the Above’.

“As we say on our website www.ProtestVoteParty.org, it’s not that people can’t be bothered to vote, it’s just that there’s no one suitable to vote for.”

Philip Clarke Socialist Alternative “The Socialist Party are standing along with the Alliance for Green Socialism to give voters in Hollingbury and Stanmer a chance to vote for a pro-public services, anti-cuts and anti-privatisation candidate.

We are working towards building a large new party for working people to offer a true Socialist Alternative to the parties of big business.”

Stuart Bower UK Independence Party “Both Labour and Conservatives are committed to giving away our nation’s sovereignty without reference to the British people.

“The people of Britain should have the right to choose whether or not they wish to be governed by foreign politicians from Brussels, who know nothing of our country, who in all probability do not even speak English, or British politicians democratically elected to Westminster.”

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JOBS

Principal boy City College appoints a new principal The board of City College, Brighton and Hove, have announced that they have appointed Phil Frier to the post of principal and chief executive with effect from August 2007. Frier is currently executive director at Sussex Downs College which has campuses in Lewes and Eastbourne, and was formerly principal of Park College, Eastbourne before it merged with Sussex Downs College in 2003.

The appointment has been made following the announcement last November by the current principal Ann Smith, that she would be retiring in January 2008. City College then announced in February this year that it would be seeking funding to completely rebuild its estate and because of the complexity of these negotiations, Ann Smith agreed that it would be in the best interests of the college strategically for the new principal to lead the bid process and so she will now be retiring in August.

The chairman of City College, Martin Perry, is thrilled to have secured the services of such an experienced educational leader to take over the helm at City College. “We face huge challenges ahead and Phil Frier demonstrated to us that he shares our vision for the college,” says Perry. “He has the expertise and determination to deliver a college that has a reputation for high-quality teaching and learning and is at the heart of our local education and business community.

“He has an enviable track record in the further-education sector, coming from Sussex Downs College, which is a very successful college with an excellent reputation,” Perry continues. “Phil has built productive collaborative partnerships with other education providers and sectors and these skills will be a vital ingredient for the job in Brighton and Hove. I’m really looking forward to working with him.”

Appointee Frier is delighted to have been appointed to this important post at City College. “Brighton and Hove is a vibrant and exciting city that deserves only the best educational provision,” he says. “I share the view of board members in believing that City College should be a real

centre of excellence providing outstanding education and skills training. I’m really looking forward to working in close partnership with the other college principals and school heads in the city, and forging effective working links with the city council and local businesses and arts groups.

“Brighton is a fast-evolving world-class city and I want City College to be a key part of that development in terms of the new campus accommodation, but more particularly in terms of the quality of teaching and learning available to both our young people and members of the adult community.”

On the importance of the college to Brighton and Hove, Perry adds: “The selection panel from the board were supported by external members representing both the education and business community. Part of the selection process included a buffet laid on

by City College students where all the candidates were invited to meet external stakeholders with an interest in the college. I am extremely grateful to all of those who took part in the process. The attendance at the reception clearly demonstrated the huge support the college enjoys and what an important part it plays in the educational landscape of the city.”

SITUATION VACANT: Experienced Letting Staff Required For busy central Hove office, successful candidate will be required to have at least six months Letting experience, be able to work on their own initiative along with working as part of a team. The ability to multitask is essential as is good general knowledge of Letting Software with excellent co-ordination and administration skills. A clean driving licence and own car are essential.

Please e-mail or send CV with covering letter to:

Lynda Paine 62 Church Road, Hove, East Sussex BN3 2FP Lynda@lyndapainelettings.co.uk

Property Recruitment Specialists

LETTINGS Sales Manager

Hove

Our clients are a multi-branch highly successful independent agent who require a customer focused, professional individual with a proven track record. If you already have experience at this level or feel you are ready to take the next step up then call us immediately.

Letting Negotiator

East Sussex

Unlimited potential for a hard working, motivated individual preferably with experience but full training will be provided for the right candidate.

Sales Negotiator

Bognor Regis

If you consider yourself to have excellent communication skills along with a strong desire to succeed in a sales environment then call us for further details.

Covering East & West Sussex, Kent, Surrey & Hampshire.

everyone has a price on their head

to maximize your potential call us now on:

0845 130 1188 fax 0845 130 1189

48 latest jobs

email enquiries@lca-jobs.com

EXPERIENCED LETTINGS NEGOTIATOR

Brighton

We require a dynamic high achiever that is looking to join a well respected independent firm with prospects.

Fantastic opportunity not to be missed!

Sales Negotiator

Hall’s Lettings are looking to recruit for the following position

Lettings Negotiator needed to head up the city centre office.

We are looking for an individual who has had experience in conducting viewings, valuations and property management to take over our city centre portfolio. If you have had previous lettings experience, are self motivated and are looking for an exciting challenge please drop your CV into the head office at 27 New Road, Brighton, BN1 1UG or call 01273 244 444 for an informal chat about the position.

Email: lettings.brighton@halls-estate.com

web www.lca-jobs.com

hundreds of jobs every week...

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JOBS

PROPERTY SALES & LETTINGS ADMINISTRATOR / NEGOTIATOR

HARRINGTONS LETTINGS NEEDS YOU! EXPERIENCED LETTINGS NEGOTIATOR OTE £40,000+ FULLY EXPENSED CAR WE are Harringtons, who since 1993 have been letting properties in Brighton & Hove. In the last three years, our growth has been far greater than anticipated, and we now need to recruit an experienced negotiator.

YOU are sitting down reading this advert, believing that you can do a bigger job than your current one, and that you are ready for the challenge…and the rewards that come from taking on more responsibility.

You will have a proven track record that demonstrates your ability to sell, drive profitability, showing innovation, think on your feet, deal with problems as they arise, and act in a professional manner with both colleagues, prospects and customers. You believe in hard work, the ethos of the team, are results driven, take pride in your job and believe your efforts will be rewarded where it matters the most – IN YOUR POCKET! If you believe you meet the criteria we are looking for then please send your CV by email to:charlotte@harringtonslettings.co.uk or to Harringtons, 109 Western Road, Hove, East Sussex BN3 1FA. Tel: 01273 724000

...to advertise call our sales team on 01273 818150

Full time person required to provide support for a busy sales, lettings, holiday rental and property management company.

You will require good IT and interpersonal skills. Versatility is the key to this position and would suit a motivated, hands on person who is also a team player.

Experience preferred. Salary according to age and experience.

NO AGENCIES Apply with CV and covering letter to:

Mr Leigh Ryan, Palms Properties 25 Waterfront, Brighton Marina, East Sussex BN2 5WA Email: leigh@palmsagency.co.uk

KINGS FRAMERS Are looking to train a full time framer and sales person, to work in our busy Lewes shop.

Applicants must be highly motivated, smart and have an excellent manner.

You will need the ability to work closely within our friendly team and have the initiative to be unsupervised.

Immediate start, permanent position.

Apply CV only to Peta King, 57 High Street, Lewes, East Sussex, BN7 1XE

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latestTV

Dani on TV

She says it how she sees it

Films on TV

SATURDAY 28

8 Mile ★★★★✩

Hope Floats ★★✩✩✩

(2002, ITV2, 10.30pm. Dir Custis Hanson) Eminem goes back to his roots in this tale of a troubled white boy rapper growing up on the wrong side of the tracks. Proving that words, rather than violence can form an escape route from poverty and danger, this is a well played story rather than typical exploitation fare.

Victoria Nangle

(1998, ITV1, 11.45pm. Dir Forest Whitaker) A misguided vehicle for Sandra Bullock, Hope Floats is a routine romantic comedy in which she stars as a former small town prom queen who’s forced to return to her roots after her marriage skids off the rails.

Bullock tries to breath some life into the script, but is drowned by ten tonnes of nasty American schmaltz.

MC

WEDNESDAY 25

Carnival of Souls ★★★★✩

(2002, BBC3, 10pm. Dir Gore Verbinski) The American version of the film previously seen in the East comes to the West all ready to scare your socks off. Naomi Watts plays a single parent who comes across a terrifying video that curses the viewer – with horrifying results…

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It’s infuriating, but America’s Next Top Model has Dani hooked on one particular channel I am addicted to Living TV. Monday nights are signed off to watch America’s Next Top Model.

Series seven has just come to an end, but there is another series that will be hitting our screens later this year. To watch this, you don’t even have to have any interest in modelling. Former supermodel Tyra Banks hosts the show and is one of the panel of judges who the contestants stand before once each week.

Each series starts with Tyra whittling down a group of hundreds of girls to just 13. These lucky 13 get to move into a big, posh house together. And that’s where it gets interesting, and funny. Most of the girls in the house are full of confidence and have already decided that they will win. Watching a clash of thirteen girls who all think they are the best thing since sliced bread can be very entertaining.

Once they have all settled into the house, Tyra takes them to get a make-over, which is fantastic viewing, because at least two girls will break down and refuse to have their hair cut this way or that. Surely these girls must have watched previous series of this, why are they so shocked to find that Tyra Banks doesn’t like their hair do!? Once they have been strapped to chairs and had their hair cut off, they get to start doing some photo shoots, which instigates bickering and lots of attempts to outdo each other.

Each week, the girls all go before the panel to be judged on their performance that week, and one girl is sent packing. Now, the thing that gets me is that each week the panel of judges change their mind about what they are looking for. They say they want a girl with personality, but when a girls walks in wearing something that makes her stand out she is told that she looks crap. Then, when all the girls look the same, they are told to try and look different. It’s infuriating to watch, but for some reason I can’t stop looking.

Fantastically, Living TV have also started showing The X Files from the very beginning, every week night at 7. Dana Scully has fluffy hair and chubby cheeks. Fox Mulder has an obsession with UFOs and a baby face. If you never got the chance to catch any X Files before, now is your chance. Living also has CSI, Close To Home and the new show The Real Extras, which is also pretty funny.

50 latest 7

Movies on the box this week

TUESDAY 24

The Ring ★★★✩✩

Better living

24–30 Apr

THURSDAY 26 Scream 2 ★★★✩✩ (1997, Channel 4, 10.35pm.

Dir Wes Craven) Sydney Prescott’s (Neve Campbell) teenage years have hardly been plain sailing, what with her mother being killed before the Scream franchise began and then being stalked by both her boyfriend and mate. Looks like college isn’t likely to be better – especially with Wes Craven’s patent triple red herrings and knowing slasher scenes.

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FRIDAY 27 Napoleon Dynamite ★★★★✩ (2004, Sky Movies Indie, 9pm.

Dir Jared Hess) The movie that turned the post-MTV generation on to the wonder of geek chic. Jon Heder stars as the allAmerican loser of the title who refuses to believe that he’s not a legend in his own lunchbag. Eccentric without being irritating, it’s one of the best American indie flicks of the noughties.

Matt Chittock Carrie ★★★✩✩ (1976, E4, 10.30pm. Dir Brian De Palma) It’s split-scene gore all the way in Brian De Palma’s still-harrowing arch exploitation movie. Sissy Spacek is fantastic as the put-upon teen who appears doomed to be a classroom freak for ever until she exacts a nasty (though wholly justified) revenge. The shock ending still has the power to make audiences jump, even after multiple viewings.

MC

(1962, Film 4, 12.55am. Dir Herk Harvey) Want to understand the eerie id from which the best of David Lynch comes from? Look no further than this cult horror curio in which a woman survives a car accident, but is haunted by feelings of disassociation from the world around her. Beware – this movie will nest in your brain for years.

MC

SUNDAY 29 Gods and Monsters ★★★★✩ (1998, TCM, 9pm. Dir Bill Condon) A warm testament to James Whale, the Brit ex-pat responsible for some of Hollywood’s best early horror. McKellen excels as the gay director who is ‘inspired’ in his dotage by hunky gardener Brendan Fraser. A cutesy stroll through the footnotes of film lore, think Ed Wood with fewer dresses and more heart.

MC

MONDAY 30 Get Shorty ★★★✩✩ (1995, Five, 11pm. Dir Barry Sonnenfeld) Freshly hot from his Pulp Fiction reinvention, John Travolta is entirely convincing as Chilli Palmer, a nasty Miami loan shark who finds himself right at home among the movers and shakers of the LA movie world. One of the better Elmore Leonard adaptations, a pinch of Tarantino-inspired dialogue plus some snappy direction make for a sophisticated treat.

MC 8 Mile, Tuesday, ITV2, 10.30pm

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4/18/07

3:41 PM

Page 1

tuesday 24 Horizon BBC2, 9pm We stole it from the gods and they’ve never forgiven us – fire, the one fear that all sensible animals share. And Professor Jose Torero of the University Of Edinburgh’s Fire Safety Engineering Centre has spent the last 10 years developing a system to revolutionise the way fires are fought. Look out gods.

Britain’s Drowned World: Time Team Special Channel 4, 9pm Thousands of years ago things were different. Not just ‘no MP3 players’ different. More like ‘lower sea levels’ and ‘Britain being geographically connected to Europe’. Yes, it’s a shock. Tony Robinson and co travel across the Channel and find mammoth bones and tiger teeth.

The Bull**** Detective BBC3, 8pm Exposing humbugs and frauds willy nilly, Alasdair Jeffrey is on the trail, cutting through more blather in 21st century Britain.

And it’s fun to watch. Exposing the truth behind sofa sales, the price of cinema food and drink and the rubbish salesmen will say to sell you the latest gadgets, you know he’ll never run out of topics.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Missing 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.30 Car Booty 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News; Weather 1.30 Regional News And Weather 1.40 Neighbours 2.05 Doctors 2.35 Diagnosis Murder 3.20 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3.25 Lazytown 3.50 Watch My Chops 4.00 The Basil Brush Show 4.30 Extreme Animals 5.00 Blue Peter 5.25 Newsround 5.35 Neighbours

6.00am – 10.15 CBeebies 10.30 Primary History: Britain Since 1948 10.50 Landmarks: Pakistan And Its People 11.10 Churchill’s Bodyguard 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Pod’s Mission (x2) 1.30 World Championship Snooker 5.55 Party Election Broadcast By The Liberal Democrats

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 2.00 Midsomer Murders 4.00 Daily Cooks 5.00 The Royal

6.25am The Hoobs (x2) 7.15 Freshly Squeezed 7.45 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.15 Just Shoot Me (x2) 9.10 Frasier 9.45 Will And Grace 10.10 ER (x2) 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 Designers Under Pressure 12.40 FILM: Jane Eyre (1944) 2.25 Life Begins Again 3.30 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The New Paul O’Grady Show

6.00am Soccer AM: The Best Bits 7.00 WWE Afterburn 8.00 Football League 9.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 10.30 PFA Awards 2007 12.00pm Football League 1.30 PFA Awards 2007 3.00 LIVE Cricket World Cup (x2) 12.00am Revista De La Liga 1.00 Tennis: Fed Cup

6.00 BBC News And Weather 6.30 South East Today; Weather 7.00 Castaway Danny drops in on the castaways’ camp to deliver a predicament. Bet he was popular.

7.30 EastEnders Pat keeps a close eye on Shirley as Denise’s hen night celebrations get underway. If those two get into a barney it’ll be almost like Prisoner Cell Block H. Stop eyeballing.

8.00 Holby City Sam reaches crisis point with Jade. About time too.

9.00 Life Line Two-part supernatural thriller. After fifteen years abroad, Peter Brisco comes home and has a chance encounter with his one true love, Katy Adair. This ignites a whirlwind romance, but tragedy strikes when Katy is killed. Peter seeks solace on Life Line, a mysterious chat line for the bereaved.

Spooky Tuesday night. Oo-ooh!

10.00 BBC News; Regional News; Weather 10.35 ONE Life Doc going behind the scenes at Grazia magazine, as the production team go about their work.

Working on a magazine is loads of work. Really, loads. Just see!

11.15 Cricket World Cup Highlights 12.15am FILM: Pushing Tin (1999) 2.15 Sign Zone: See Hear 3.15 Hairy Bikers Ride Again 3.45 Animal 24:7 4.30 Joins BBC News 24 5.00 Cricket World Cup Highlights

6.00 Eggheads General knowledge quiz. But if you don’t know the answers it doesn’t mean you’re thick.

6.30 Great British Menu 14 of the nation’s top chefs compete to convince the French that we can match them in gastronomic prowess.

Cos convincing the French of anything is what we Brits do best. Not. 7.00 World Championship Snooker The World Snooker Championship at the Crucible Theatre in Sheffield. Hazel Irvine introduces live action as former champion Mark Williams aims to secure his place in the second round. Look at the pretty balls thwacking around the table.

8.00 The Underdog Show It’s the final and the remaining three celebs and their canine friends now have to battle it out for the Championship. Do they look like their pets yet?

9.00 Horizon See highlights.

9.50 A Wild Yorkshire River No taming these wet things – rivers.

10.00 The Underdog Show: Results Which underdog will become a wonder-dog and reign as the first-ever Underdog Champion?

Try to care.

10.30 Newsnight 11.20 World Championship Snooker It’s all maths y’see. Speed, angles, clonking balls. Enjoy.

12.10am World Championship Snooker – Extra 2.00 GCSE Bitesize (x2)

6.00am Save-Ums! 6.10 Fifi & The Flowertots 6.25 Franny’s Feet 6.35 Bird Bath 6.45 Funky Town 6.50 Milkshake!

7.20 Miss Spider’s Sunny Patch Friends 7.30 Little Princess 7.45 Make Way For Noddy 8.00 Say It With Noddy 8.05 Fifi & Flowertots 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.40 Old Bear Stories 8.50 Mio Mao 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha 11.30 News 12.00pm Home & Away 12.30 The C.H.A.O.S. Clinic 1.00 HouseBusters 1.30 Russell Grant’s Postcards 1.35 FILM: Sweet Hostage (1975) 3.35 News 3.40 FILM: Catch A Falling Star (1999) 5.30 News 6.00 Home And Away Brad tries to reason with Johnny in an attempt to free Ric. Reason and Johnny? Surly not in the same sentance. Madness.

6.30 Two And A Half Men 7.00 Five News 7.15 Big Ideas That Changed The World Terry Waite discusses his time as a hostage and offers his opinions on the modern dilemma of terrorism.

8.00 The Philosopher’s Stone: The True Story Documentary examining the medieval myth of the Philosopher’s Stone, a Holy Grail-type relic which supposedly held the key to alchemy and immortality. Nothing to do with Lord Voldemort. Really.

9.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Nick and Keppler investigate when a charred body is discovered with most of the internal organs removed. Yuk! 10.00 CSI: Miami After a man turns up dead, the CSI team investigate a group of male ‘pickup artists’ who were out to score.

11.00 Law And Order: Special Victims Unit A young gymnast is found murdered, forcing the detectives to look into her pressured lifestyle for a possible suspect.

12.00am Arrest And Trial 12.30 Arrest And Trial 12.55 NBA Basketball 4.20 FIM Motocross World Cup 5.10 IndyCar Series

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.25 Party Election Broadcast By The Liberal Democrats 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Lisa fears that she is losing Zak. She’s not being trying hard enough to lose him yet – more mislay.

7.30 UEFA Champions League Semi-final: Manchester United V AC Milan Steve Rider presents live coverage from Old Trafford of tonight’s Champions League semifinal, first-leg game between Manchester United and AC Milan.

The Italian side will be hoping to restore some national pride after United’s 7-1 hammering of Roma in the quarter-final. Commentary comes from Clive Tyldesley and David Pleat.

10.00 Marbella Belles Today, the girls get in the festive spirit to celebrate Christmas on the Costa del Sol. Jo Alexandrou indulges herself with a New York shopping trip to buy presents solely for herself. Louise Marriott treats herself to a new luxury villa, and Lisa and Joe Johnson spend time with their family.

10.30 ITV News; Weather 11.00 Real Crime: A Killer Came Calling He was the double glazing salesman turned killer.

12.00am ITV Play: Glitterball 4.05 DJs Forever 5.00 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks O.B. is thrilled when Yasmin pays him a visit, but Tom is unimpressed when he discovers Yasmin’s son is his nemesis, Tristan Burgess. Junior school fight!

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 Selling Houses Abroad Andrew tackles more problem homes in Normandy, Spain and Cyprus.

9.00 Britain’s Drowned World: Time Team Special See highlights.

10.30 Sex On Trial: The Soapstar Story Doc reliving the events of one of the most well-known libel cases of recent times – soap actress Gillian Taylforth’s battle with The Sun in 1994. Mucho publicity Gill. Not what you really wanted was it?

11.35 Get Your Act Together With Harvey Goldsmith With a debt of £120,000, Deighton Working Men’s Club is struggling to pull in the punters and keep the bailiffs out. But Harvey is on hand. Bless.

12.35am PartyPoker.com Poker Nations Cup 1.40 Avon Tyres British GT Championship 2.10 Velux 5 Oceans Ultimate Solo Challenge 2.35 KOTV Classics 3.30 Gumball 3000 (x2) 4.25 Adrenalin Rush 4.50 Supporting Acts 5.00 Monster Garage

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 On The Edge 7.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 7.30 On The Edge 8.00 Fishing: Bass Fishing 9.00 On The Edge 9.30 Wild Spirits 10.00 World Motor Sport 12.30pm Speedway: Elite League 2.30 World Motor Sport 5.00 Rally Fever 6.00 On The Edge 6.30 Revista De La Liga 7.30 LIVE Greyhound Racing 10.00 Poker: Sports Stars Challenge 12.00am Rally Fever 1.00 Squash: PSA Tour

Sky Sports 3 7.00am British Rally Championship 8.00 Speedway: Elite League 10.00 Fishing: Bass Fishing 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Squash: PSA Tour 1.00 British Rally Championship 2.00 On The Edge 2.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 3.30 Football League 5.00 WWE Smackdown 7.00 Sports Unlimited 8.00 Tennis: Fed Cup 9.00 Karting: Stars Of Tomorrow 9.30 Texaco Havoline Ginetta Championship 10.00 Revista De La Liga 11.00 Tennis: Fed Cup 12.00am Fishing: Thinking Tackle 1.00 Fishing: Bass Fishing 2.00 Karting: Stars Of Tomorrow 2.30 Sports Unlimited

Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

9.00am Project Runway 10.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 12.00pm Angel 1.00 Buffy The Vampire Slayer 2.00 Cold Case 3.00 Las Vegas 4.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 6.00 Stargate Atlantis 7.00 The Simpsons (x4) 9.00 Battlestar Galactica (x2) 11.00 Cold Case 12.00am Las Vegas 1.00 Stargate Atlantis 1.50 Red Light Girls

7.00pm Spendaholics Saved My Life 8.00 The Bulls*** Detective. See highlights.

9.00 The Panic Room 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Ideal 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps (x2) 12.45am The Panic Room 1.40 Ideal 2.10 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps (x2)

7.00pm Meetings With Remarkable Trees 7.10 Shadow Of The Noose 8.00 The World 8.30 Never Mind The Full Stops 9.00 The Diary Of A Nobody 9.30 The League Of Gentlemen 10.00 Operation Good Guys 10.30 Storyville: Cuba! Africa!

Revolution! 11.30 The Diary Of A Nobody 12.00am Never Mind The Full Stops

12.30pm Coronation Street 1.00 Emmerdale 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.40 The Ricki Lake Show 4.25 Sally Jessy Raphael 5.15 Airline USA 5.45 Judge Judy 7.00 American Idol (x2) 9.00 WAGs Boutique: The Final Score 10.30 FILM: 8 Mile (2002) 12.40am FILM: Intolerable Cruelty (2002)

12.55pm Mapp And Lucia 1.55 Never The Twain 2.30 Tales Of The Unexpected 3.00 Cagney And Lacey 4.00 Pie In The Sky 5.05 Quantum Leap 6.05 Rising Damp 6.40 Movies Now 6.50 Lovejoy 8.00 The Bill: Pride Before A Fall 9.00 City Lights 10.00 Inspector Wexford: The Speaker Of Mandarin 12.10am Lovejoy

2.05pm Switched 2.35 One Tree Hill 3.30 Smallville 4.25 Hollyoaks 4.50 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 The War At Home 7.55 Friends (x2) 9.00 The OC 10.00 Sex In Court 10.30 Derren Brown: Trick Or Treat 11.05 Peep Show 11.40 Scrubs (x2) 12.35am Get Your Act Together: The Showdown

1.10pm Deal Or No Deal 2.00 ER 3.00 Third Watch 4.00 FILM: Easter Parade (1948) 5.55 3 Minute Wonder (x2) 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs Abroad 8.00 More4 News 8.30 The Daily Show 9.00 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares 10.00 Secret Life 11.30 NYPD Blue 12.30am The Daily Show

12.00pm Maury 12.55 The Fix 1.00 Will And Grace (x2) 2.00 Bewitched (x2) 3.00 Close To Home 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 The X Files 8.00 The Real Extras 9.00 Sensing Murder 10.30 Most Haunted 11.30 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.30am Most Haunted Extra 1.00 Most Haunted

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

2.25pm The Good Life 3.00 Porridge 3.40 Only Fools And Horses 5.05 One Foot In The Grave 5.45 Some Mothers Do ‘Ave ‘Em 6.25 Keeping Up Appearances 7.00 New Tricks (x2) 9.00 Sharpe 11.10 Men Behaving Badly 11.50 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps 12.30am Early Doors 1.10 Have I Got 2002 For You (x2)

2.00pm Frasier (x2) 3.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 4.00 King Of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Less Than Perfect (x2) 7.00 Scrubs (x2) 8.00 That 70s Show (x2) 9.00 Scrubs (x2) 10.00 Sex And The City 10.35 South Park (x2) 11.35 Comedy Blue 12.05am The World Comedy Tour 2004

12.00pm Mythbusters 1.00 Deadliest Catch 2.00 The FBI Files 3.00 Forensic Detectives 4.00 Time Team 5.00 How It’s Made (x2) 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 Mythbusters 8.00 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls 9.00 Deadliest Catch 10.00 World’s Lost Tribes 11.00 Forensic Factor 12.00am The FBI Files

11.00am FILM: Knight Rider 2000 (1991) 1.00pm Star Trek 2.00 The Lost World 3.00 FILM: Lightning: Bolts Of Destruction (2003) 5.00 Tru Calling 6.00 The Lost World 7.00 Roswell 8.00 Tru Calling 9.00 FILM: The Fifth Element (1997) 11.30 Medium 12.30am FILM: Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)

1.10pm Tarantula (1955) 2.40 A King In New York (1957) 4.30 Classics Close Up 4.55 All About Eve (1950) 7.15 Move Over, Darling (1963) 9.00 The Life And Times Of Judge Roy Bean (1972) 11.05 Tarantula (1955) 12.30am O Lucky Man! (1973) 3.25 Guns Of August (1964)

12.00pm Jules Et Jim (1961) 2.00 Love, Etc (1996) 4.00 China’s Hollywood 5.00 Roads To Koktebel (2004) 6.50 Jules Et Jim (1961) 8.40 Action & Thriller Close-Up 9.00 Mulholland Falls (1996) 11.00 The Cook, The Thief, His Wife And Her Lover (1989) 1.05am Love, Etc (1996)

1.00pm Howards End (1992) 3.40 Cattle Empire (1958) 5.15 The Wicked Lady (1945) Not the nutty Ken Russell remake but the class James Mason original. Top stuff. 7.15 Run Silent, Run Deep (1958) 9.00 I, Robot (2004) 11.10 Once Upon A Time In The Midlands (2002) 1.10am The Kid Stays In The Picture (2002)

8.50am Boys’ Night Out (1962) 11.00 The Last Time I Saw Paris (1954) 1.10pm Adam’s Rib (1949) 3.00 Viva Las Vegas (1964) 4.35 The Public Enemy (1931) 6.15 Four Horsemen Of The Apocalypse (1961) 9.00 The Wrong Man (1956) 10.55 How The West Was Won (1962) 1.40am The Strawberry Statement (1970)

Classics

Indie

052_LS318_TV_Wed

4/18/07

5:27 PM

Page 1

wednesday 25 I Know What You Ate Last Summer Five, 8pm It’s the last in the series as the overweight Brit teenagers set out in the wilderness of cowboy country. Ahh. Adam’s reaching breaking point and the kids get their final weigh in. Have they discovered the merits of midnight barbecued chipmunk or is the weight really gone? Find out.

Natural World BBC2, 9pm And you thought your weekend was rough. Bet you didn’t think about those living near the Japanese giant hornet, one of the deadliest insects on earth. Watch as one giant hornet queen builds up a colony in an old temple garden and then sets them all to terrorise the villagers. Hangover doesn’t seem so bad now, eh?

Deadline ITV2, 10pm Celebs trying to run a celebspotting magazine, run by hardnosed no-nonsense taking editor Janet Street-Porter and pap extraordinaire Darryn Lyons.

Oh no, it’s celebs having to do work, like wait for celebs to turn up – heh, heh – or take pictures of other people, or even do things when they don’t feel like it. Bless.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Missing 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.30 Car Booty 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News; Weather 1.30 Regional News And Weather 1.40 Neighbours 2.05 Doctors 2.35 Diagnosis Murder 3.20 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3.25 Lazytown 3.50 The Cramp Twins 4.00 Prank Patrol 4.30 Extreme Animals 5.00 Blue Peter 5.25 Newsround 5.35 Neighbours

6.00am Fimbles 6.20 The Story Makers 6.35 Balamory 7.00 Arthur 7.15 ChuckleVision 7.30 Get 100 8.00 The Story Of Tracy Beaker 8.15 Krypto The Superdog 8.30 Tommy Zoom 8.40 Numberjacks 9.00 Nina And The Neurons 9.15 Lunar Jim 9.25 Me Too! 9.45 Mama Mirabelle’s Home Movies 10.00 Postman Pat 10.15 The Roly Mo Show 10.30 In Search Of Myths And Heroes 11.30 The Daily Politics 1.00pm Garden Invaders 1.30 Working Lunch 2.00 Championship Snooker 5.55 Party Election Broadcast

By The Conservative Party 6.00 Eggheads Have you applied for the next series? Are you feeling that bright after a full Wednesday’s work?

6.30 Great British Menu Both chefs competing to represent Northern Ireland have chosen to serve lamb for the main course. Will there be enough mint sauce to go around?

7.00 World Championship Snooker Ray Stubbs introduces live action from the World Championship at the Crucible Theatre. Not to be watched on a black and white telly.

8.00 Neneh And Andi Dish It Up Neneh and Andi prepare an intimate double date with Neneh’s husband Cameron and Andi’s boyfriend Garfield. Ever think you’re being told too much about a presenter?

8.30 Sweet Baby James Chef James Martin shares his love of puddings. the best part of any meal.

9.00 Natural World See highlights.

9.50 New Forest Badgers 10.00 The Apprentice: You’re Fired Adrian Chiles grills the newly fired candidate from The Apprentice, in the company of art critic Brian Sewell and art collector Alvin Hall.

10.30 Newsnight 11.20 World Championship Snooker Clunk clink pot.

12.10am World Championship Snooker – Extra 2.00 BBC Learning Zone: Schools: GCSE Bitesize 4.00 GCSE Bitesize: Maths 1

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 2.00 Midsomer Murders 4.00 Daily Cooks 5.00 The Royal

6.00am Water Stories 6.10 The Hoobs (x2) 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.55 Just Shoot Me (x2) 8.55 Frasier 9.50 Will And Grace 10.15 ER 11.05 Without A Trace 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 3 Minute Wonder: The Hunt 12.35 FILM: Kiss Tomorrow Goodbye (1950) 2.25 Life Begins Again 3.30 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The New Paul O’Grady Show

6.00am Revista De La Liga 7.00 WWE Heat 8.00 Cricket World Cup 9.00 Revista De La Liga 10.00 Cricket World Cup 11.00 Poker: Sports Stars Challenge 1.00pm Cricket World Cup 2.00 LIVE Cricket World Cup 6.30 Big Fight Countdown 7.00 LIVE Football: UEFA Champions League 10.30 You’re On Sky Sports 11.30 Big Fight Countdown 12.00am Total Rugby 12.30 European Tour Weekly 1.00 Poker: Sports Stars Challenge 3.00 Big Fight Countdown 3.30 You’re On Sky Sports

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.25 Party Election Broadcast By The Conservative Party 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Zak and Lisa finally clear the air. It had loads of knick knacks all over it.

7.30 Coronation Street Paul bribes Sally with a promotion to get her onside. No Sally, not that slippery slope of boss-onside-at-work again.

8.00 The Bill After successfully solving a case, Heaton and Mia are unable to resist each other and give in to temptation. But will Mickey find out? Worse than ‘stEnders here.

9.00 City Lights Colin tries to take Howie’s mind off his marriage problems by taking him to a local pub quiz night, but things go from bad to worse during a disastrous Mr and Mrs round, when he realises that his wife doesn’t want to be with him anymore.

10.00 Get A Grip Ben Elton and Alexa Chung investigate the phenomenon of shrinking celebrities.

Just how small is Keira Knightley compared to Marilyn Monroe?

10.30 ITV News; Weather 11.00 Ronnie Wood’s Orange Playlist 11.35 Danny Dyer’s Orange Playlist 12.00am ITV Play: Glitterball 4.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 5.00 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Jessica and Kris are at odds with Zoe and Zak. As Will watches Zak and Zoe getting closer on CCTV, he decides to teach Zoe a lesson. Bad news. Really not good.

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder: Made In India - The House Remembers 8.00 Property Ladder In Aylesbury, adventurous couple Stuart and Marje have just recovered from a disastrous start on their first development.

9.00 Grand Designs Kevin catches up with a Scottish couple’s attempt to design and build an avant garde home based on a Norwegian Longhouse. The three year project ran into problems from the start and financial difficulties meant the design might never reach completion.

10.00 Desperate Housewives With Tom laid up with a bad back, Lynette has to run the pizzeria all by herself.

Some people’s dream come true.

Just, some people adore pizza. Mmm. 11.00 Gordon Ramsay’s F Word Gordon’s food magazine show.

12.10am Peep Show 12.45 Balls Of Steel 1.30 The War At Home 1.55 The Osbournes (x2) 2.45 The Jamie Kennedy Experiment 3.35 Your Face Or Mine?

4.05 Off Centre 4.30 Wild Things 5.15 Countdown

6.00am The Save-Ums! 6.10 Fifi & The Flowertots 6.25 Franny’s Feet 6.35 Bird Bath 6.45 Funky Town 6.50 The Milkshake! Show 7.20 Miss Spider’s Sunny Patch Friends 7.30 Little Princess 7.45 Make Way For Noddy 8.00 Say It With Noddy 8.05 Fifi & The Flowertots 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.40 Old Bear Stories 8.50 Mio Mao 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha 11.30 News 12.00pm Home & Away 12.30 The CHAOS Clinic 1.00 HouseBusters 1.30 FILM: Columbo(1975) 3.30 FILM: Columbo (1993) 5.30 Five News 6.00 Home And Away Macca is disappointed to learn how Cassie really feels about their life in the city.

Does that mean he hits her again?

6.30 Two And A Half Men 7.00 Five News 7.15 Lemur Island Wildlife series following the lives of two warring troops of ring-tailed lemurs in Madagascar. Wait, soon there’ll be a Blackadder the Lemur, just you see.

8.00 I Know What You Ate Last Summer Ice cream? See highlights.

9.00 FILM: The Rookie (1990) Starring Clint Eastwood, Charlie Sheen, Raul Julia, Sonia Braga, Tom Skerritt and Lara Boyle. Hard-hitting action film about a veteran police officer forced to break in a new young partner while trying to bust an international stolen-car ring. When the veteran cop is kidnapped by the crooks, it falls upon the hot-headed rookie to save the day, putting into practice everything the old pro has taught him. Can you guess who plays who in the cast list? Go on. Try. 11.25 Disorderly Conduct US documentary series featuring footage of real-life car crashes, drug busts and high-speed pursuits. Just the thing to set you on the way to pleasant dreams. Not. 12.25am PartyPoker.com European Open III 1.55 Major League Baseball 5.10 FIM Motocross World Cup

6.00 BBC News And Weather 6.30 South East Today; Weather 7.00 Demolition In Bristol artwork in a squat is unappreciated by Keith and his 70 tonne digger. Philistines.

7.30 The Green Green Grass Boycie considers a move into local politics. Watch out Tony Blair.

8.00 Watchdog Scrutinising more neglectful wheelers and dealers.

8.30 Car Wars PCs Wilbraham and Fox are involved in a high speed pursuit which comes to a dramatic conclusion. Cue dramatic music.

9.00 The Apprentice The teams are set the task of selling photographs of their choosing in a trendy East London gallery. They don’t know much but they know what they like.

10.00 BBC News; Regional News; Weather 10.35 The National Lottery Draws Dream times a go-go.

10.40 Dog House Five disruptive teenagers embark on an emotional journey by learning how to train assistance dogs for disabled people.

11.20 Cricket World Cup Highlights 12.20am FILM: Tall, Dark And Deadly (1994) 1.50 Sign Zone: The Gardener’s Year 2.20 Mission Africa 2.50 My Life As A Child 3.20 Orangutan Diary 3.50 Animal 24:7 4.35 Joins BBC News 24 5.00 Cricket World Cup Highlights

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 On The Edge 7.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 7.30 On The Edge 8.00 Sports Unlimited 9.00 On The Edge 9.30 Tennis: Fed Cup 10.30 Football: UEFA Champions League (x4) 12.30pm LIVE Sailing: America’s Cup 3.30 Texaco Havoline Ginetta Championship 4.00 Football: UEFA Champions League (x4) 6.00 European Tour Weekly 6.30 LIVE Cricket World Cup 11.00 Sailing: America’s Cup 12.00am Pool: World Cup Of Pool 1.00 Squash: PSA Tour 2.00 Total Rugby 2.30 British Motocross Championship

Sky Sports 3 9.30am Karting: Stars Of Tomorrow 10.00 Fishing: Thinking Tackle 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Squash: PSA Tour 1.00 Rally Fever 2.00 Tennis: Fed Cup 3.00 Poker: Sports Stars Challenge 5.00 WWE The Bottom Line 6.00 WWE Afterburn 7.00 Pool: World Cup Of Pool 8.00 Pony Of The Year Show 2007 9.00 Sailing: America’s Cup 10.00 Big Fight Countdown 10.30 Pool: World Cup Of Pool 11.30 Trans World Sport 12.30am Pony Of The Year Show 2007 1.30 Sailing: America’s Cup 2.30 Pony Of The Year Show 2007

Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

12.00pm Angel 1.00 Buffy The Vampire Slayer 2.00 Cold Case 3.00 Las Vegas 4.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 6.00 Stargate Atlantis 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Futurama (x2) 9.00 The Dresden Files 10.00 Lost 11.00 Cold Case 12.00am Las Vegas 1.00 I’m Still Alive 1.50 So You Think You’re Safe?

7.00pm Castaway 7.30 Conning The Conmen 8.00 New Wedding Stories 9.00 F*** Off I’m A Hairy Woman 10.00 FILM: The Ring (2002) 11.45 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps (x2) 12.45am American Dad (x2) 1.30 F*** Off I’m A Hairy Woman 2.25 Castaway 2.55 Two Pints Of Lager (x2)

7.00pm Child Of Our Time 8.00 The World 8.30 Thoroughly Modern: The Snapshot Camera 9.00 Menace Of The Masses 10.00 Greg Dyke On Lord Reith 11.00 The Guernica Children 11.40 Thoroughly Modern: The Snapshot Camera 12.10am Menace Of The Masses 1.10 Greg Dyke On Lord Reith

1.30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.40 The Ricki Lake Show 4.25 Sally Jessy Raphael 5.15 Airline USA 5.45 Judge Judy 7.00 Smallville 8.00 FILM: Intolerable Cruelty (2002) 10.00 Deadline. See highlights. 11.00 Coronation Street 11.30 Jack Osbourne: Adrenaline Junkie II 12.30am Deadline

12.55pm Mapp And Lucia 2.00 Never The Twain 2.30 Tales Of The Unexpected 3.00 Cagney And Lacey 4.00 Pie In The Sky 5.05 Quantum Leap 6.05 Rising Damp 6.35 Film File 6.45 Lovejoy 7.55 Bramwell 9.00 Rising Damp 9.30 FILM: Dr Strangelove (1964) 11.30 Lovejoy 12.40am Mapp And Lucia 1.45 Heartbeat

12.00pm Nothing But...

Scots 1.00 Gareth Gates He’s Changed 2.05 Switched 2.35 One Tree Hill 3.30 Smallville 4.30 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x3) 6.30 Scrubs 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Friends (x3) 9.00 Ugly Betty 10.00 Miss Match 11.00 Desperate Housewives 12.00am Scrubs 12.25 Smallville

4.00pm FILM: Trouble Along The Way (1953) 6.00 3 Minute Wonder 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs Abroad 8.00 More4 News 8.30 The Daily Show 9.00 Shrink Rap 10.00 Grand Designs: Trade Secrets 10.30 Travels With My Camera: Is This My Country? 11.35 NYPD Blue 12.30am The Daily Show

1.00pm Will And Grace (x2) 2.00 Bewitched (x2) 3.00 Close To Home 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 The X Files 8.00 America’s Next Top Model 9.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 10.00 Criminal Minds 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am The X Files

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

12.50pm Pride And Prejudice (x2) 2.50 Sharpe 5.00 One Foot In The Grave 5.40 Some Mothers Do ‘Ave ‘Em 6.20 Keeping Up Appearances 7.00 New Tricks (x2) 9.00 Dalziel And Pascoe 11.20 Men Behaving Badly 12.00am Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps 12.40 Dalziel And Pascoe

3.00pm Two And A Half Men (x2) 4.00 King Of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Less Than Perfect (x2) 7.00 Scrubs (x2) 8.00 That 70s Show (x2) 9.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 10.00 Sex And The City 10.35 South Park (x2) 11.35 Comedy Blue 12.05am The World Comedy Tour 2004

1.00pm Deadliest Catch 2.00 The FBI Files 3.00 Forensic Detectives 4.00 Time Team 5.00 How It’s Made (x2) 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 Mythbusters 8.00 How Do They Do It? 8.30 How It’s Made 9.00 How Do They Do It? (x2) 10.00 Mythbusters 11.00 Oil, Sweat And Rigs 12.00am The FBI Files

1.00pm Star Trek 2.00 The Lost World 3.00 FILM: Combustion (2004) 5.00 Tru Calling 6.00 The Lost World 7.00 Roswell 8.00 Tru Calling 9.00 Heroes 10.00 FILM: Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991) 12.35am Erotic Misadventures Of The Invisible Man 2.25 FILM: Galaxy Of Terror (1981)

8.50am The Great Dictator (1940) 10.55 McLintock!

(1963) 1.05pm Walk, Don’t Run (1966) 3.00 Funeral In Berlin (1966) 4.45 Kiss Me, Stupid (1964) 6.50 McLintock! (1963) 9.00 Funeral In Berlin (1966) 10.45 Walk, Don’t Run (1966) 12.40am Sunday, Bloody Sunday (1971)

12.00pm The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou (2004) 2.00 Hidden (2003) 4.00 Le Bossu (1998) 6.10 Galapagos 7.00 The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou (2004) 9.00 Boxcar Bertha (1972) 10.40 Indie Close-Up 11.00 Tie Me Up! Tie Me Down! (1990) 12.55am 5 X 2: Cinq Fois Deux (2004)

1.00pm The Dark Corner (1946) 2.55 Run Silent, Run Deep (1958) 4.45 The Man In The Iron Mask (1977) 6.45 Always (1989) 9.00 Equilibrium (2002) Christian Bale kills people who feel anything.Great dad. 11.00 Dead Man’s Shoes (2002) 12.45am Tell Them Who You Are (2002) 2.35 Notre Musique (2004)

7.00am The Americanization Of Emily (1964) 9.05 The Liquidator (1966) 11.00 To Have And Have Not (1944) 12.55pm Silver River (1948) 3.00 Penelope (1966) 4.45 The Opposite Sex (1956) 7.00 Three Godfathers (1948) 9.00 Ryan’s Daughter (1970) 12.30am Tortilla Flat (1942) 2.25 Greed (1925)

Classics

Indie

053_LS318_TV_Thu

4/18/07

5:34 PM

Page 1

thursday 26 Human Footprint Channel 4, 9pm This is apparently a ‘landmark film’. Whether it can help you find your way home during wartime is neither here nor there, what is relevant is the fusion of science and art demonstrating the impact a single human being has upon the planet in its lifetime. From chocolate wrappers to birthday cards and snot – it’s all here.

Shark Five, 10pm James Woods’ super sharp courtroom shooter gets shoved a case he really doesn’t want.

When four women die in a sweatshop fire, someone tips off the media and the mayor promises a conviction – even though it’s already been ruled an accident. Social conscience comes a-calling. Good stuff.

The Diary Of A Nobody BBC4, 10pm Andrew Davies’ adaptation of the fantastic socially satirical novel from George and Weedon Grossman, showing the scrapes and flusters an archetypal ‘little man’ gets into at the turn of the 19th century. Charles Pooter is an endearing and annoying man, put up with by his long-suffering wife.

Brilliantly perfect.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Missing 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.30 Car Booty 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News; Weather 1.30 Regional News And Weather 1.40 Neighbours 2.05 Doctors 2.35 Diagnosis Murder 3.20 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3.25 Lazytown 3.50 Watch My Chops 4.00 The Basil Brush Show 4.30 Extreme Animals 5.00 Blue Peter 5.25 Newsround 5.35 Neighbours

6.00am – 10.15 CBeebies 10.30 Look And Read 10.50 Music Makers 11.10 English Express 11.30 Big Slam Poetry 11.50 Primary Geography 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 World Championship Snooker 5.55 Party Election Broadcast By The Labour Party

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 2.00 Midsomer Murders 4.00 Daily Cooks 5.00 The Royal

6.00am The Treacle People 6.10 The Hoobs (x2) 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Just Shoot Me (x2) 8.55 Frasier (x2) 9.50 Will And Grace 10.20 Without A Trace (x2) 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 3 Minute Wonder: The Hunt 12.35 FILM: Doctor In Clover (1965) 2.25 Life Begins Again 3.30 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The New Paul O’Grady Show

6.00am You’re On Sky Sports 7.00 WWE Experience 8.00 Cricket World Cup 9.00 Sailing: America’s Cup 10.00 Cricket World Cup 11.00 LIVE European Tour Golf 1.00pm Cricket World Cup 2.00 Trans World Sport 3.00 Big Fight Countdown 3.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 4.00 Live European Tour Golf 6.00 Guinness Rugby Club 7.30 LIVE Darts: Premier League 11.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 11.30 Guinness Rugby Club 1.00am Darts: Premier League

6.00 BBC News And Weather 6.30 South East Today; Weather 7.00 Castaway The castaways face another predicament as Danny forces them to reflect on island life. Meanie.

7.30 EastEnders With Pat and Shirley confined to a police cell, Kevin and Denise’s wedding day fails to go without a hitch. So Cell Block H. Really, all you need now is the laundry room. Launderette anyone?

8.00 Waterloo Road Drama series set in a failing comprehensive school.

Jack tries to track down the source of the drugs, but his determination to protect the children distracts him from the rising mayhem being wrought by the school’s new sponsor governor.

Hardly the stuff of ‘Baggy Trousers’.

9.00 Life Line Two-part supernatural thriller. Life Line, a mysterious chat line for the bereaved, which leads Peter to Catt, an enigmatic young woman. But is enigmatic any good when you want to discuss the state of the nation and Valentine’s dates?

We think not.

10.00 BBC News; Regional News; Weather 10.35 Question Time 11.35 This Week 12.25am Sign Zone: Panorama 12.55 Return To Lullingstone Castle 1.25 Sleep Clinic 1.55 Orangutan Diary 2.25 Animal 24:7 3.10 Joins BBC News 24

6.00 Eggheads Feeling clever after a great day at work? Put your intelligence to the test with this general knowledge quiz.

6.30 Great British Menu For the dessert course, Noel decides on a trio of rhubarb and Richard serves up carrageen moss pudding. Yum. 7.00 World Championship Snooker World Championship at the Crucible Theatre. Time to get potted.

8.00 Hairy Bikers Ride Again Things get surreal in Brussels when Si and Dave walk their way into a Magritte painting. Yellow ocre isn’t what it used to be.

8.30 It’s Not Easy Being Green Doc series in which Dick and James Strawbridge help other people to ‘go green’. Sneezing not involved.

9.00 The Catherine Tate Show Derek Faye meets Bonnie Langford, and Lauren receives a proposal.

9.30 Roman’s Empire Comedy series. Roman Pretty is a self-made millionaire with three beautiful daughters. King Lear with giggles.

10.00 The Graham Norton Show Dustin Hoffman is one of his guests.

10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Desi DNA 11.50 World Championship Snooker Going potty.

12.40am World Championship Snooker – Extra 2.00 BBC Learning Zone: Schools: GCSE Bitesize Revision: Maths

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.25 Party Election Broadcast By The Labour Party 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Val admits that she wants to see Sharon get married. Maybe Shadrach’s available at short notice.

7.30 Cathedral Cities Residents step back in time at Rochester’s Dickens Festival.

8.00 The Bill Robbery witness Josh Carey confesses to Nikki that he is worried about his feelings for young girls. We’re worried too now. A worry shared is a worry doubled.

9.00 Taggart A missing teenage girl’s body is found on a piece of wasteland near a fairground.

Tensions between locals and the show people have already been running high. The team must tread carefully if they are to catch the murderer - but opinions differ on how to handle the case. By the handle we think, but that’s not important at a time like this.

10.30 ITV News 10.50 Regional News 10.54 & Regional Weather 10.58 ITV Weather 11.00 Meridian Soccer Night 11.30 The Way We Were 12.00am UEFA Cup Highlights 12.55 ITV Play: Make Your Play 5.00 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Wayne is quick to accept Sonny’s party invitation and even quicker to tell Michaela that she isn’t welcome.

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder: Made In India – English & I 8.00 A Place In The Sun Finding a reasonable home in the pricey resort of Algarve in Portugal is Amanda’s next difficult task. Anyone know a good campsite in Faro?

8.30 Chaos At The Chateau Ann and David discover not everyone in the village loves them, as things go missing from the hotel and a local farmer disrupts their first conference.

Events pale into insignificance though when tragedy strikes. Oh dear.

9.00 Human Footprint See highlights.

10.35 FILM: Scream 2 (1997) Starring Neve Campbell, Courteney Cox, David Arquette, Liev Schreiber, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Jamie Kennedy, Jada Pinkett Smith and Jerry O’Connell. Sequel to the boxoffice smash horror movie in which high-school students were stalked by a serial slasher. Makes yer jump.

12.45am Red Bull Beat Battles 1.35 Rockfeedback 2.10 Honeymoon 2.40 FILM: Man Who Cried (2000) 4.25 Dispatches 5.25 Countdown

6.00am The Save-Ums! 6.10 Fifi & The Flowertots 6.25 Franny’s Feet 6.35 Bird Bath 6.45 Funky Town 6.50 The Milkshake! Show 7.20 Miss Spider’s Sunny Patch Friends 7.30 Little Princess 7.45 Make Way For Noddy 8.00 Say It With Noddy 8.05 Fifi & The Flowertots 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.40 Old Bear Stories 8.50 Mio Mao 9.00 Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha 11.30 News 12.00pm Home & Away 12.30 HouseBusters 1.30 FILM: The Tracker: Fever Of The Hunt (2000) 3.35 News 3.40 FILM: Buckskin (1968) 5.30 News 6.00 Home And Away Belle struggles to appear unaffected by Drew’s new relationship.

6.30 Two And A Half Men 7.00 Five News 7.15 How Not To Decorate Interior design series presented by Colin McAllister and Justin Ryan, following the real drama behind makeover shows. And Scottish men bickering.

8.00 Ann Maurice: Interior Rivalry The five remaining contestants must make a business pitch to a pair of top estate agents, before home staging the ground floors of two houses in less than a day. Beautiful Darling!

9.00 House The team treat a morbidly obese man who is admitted in a coma. Meanwhile, House pays for his rude behaviour towards a patient by spending the night in jail.

10.00 Shark See highlights.

11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation For his final proficiency test, Greg has to determine how the Sherlock Holmes of a Sherlock Holmes club was killed.

Meanwhile, Nick and Warrick try to determine how the driver of a jeep was killed when the car ran off the road. They never get to rest, those guys. And Catherine’s being kept a close eye on.

12.00am Football Night 1.00 Quiz Call I 4.00 Dutch Football 5.10 Football Argentina

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 On The Edge 7.00 Sailing: America’s Cup 8.00 Watersports World 9.00 Big Fight Countdown 9.30 Irish Greyhound Racing 10.00 Pool: World Cup Of Pool 11.00 Total Rugby 11.30 Trans World Sport 12.30pm Big Fight Countdown 1.00 LIVE Sailing: America’s Cup 3.30 Total Rugby 4.00 Pool: World Cup Of Pool 5.00 Race World 6.00 On The Edge 6.30 Trans World Sport 7.30 Golf Night 10.00 Sailing: America’s Cup 11.00 ATP Tennis 11.30 Golf Night 2.00am Sailing: America’s Cup

Sky Sports 3 8.00am Squash 9.00 Pony Of The Year Show 2007 10.00 British Motocross Championship 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Watersports World 1.00 On The Edge 1.30 European Tour Golf 3.30 Texaco Havoline Ginetta Championship 4.00 Watersports World 5.00 WWE Heat 6.00 Extreme Carp 6.30 NBA Action 7.00 LIVE Boots N All Special 7.30 LIVE Rugby League 10.00 WWE Late Night Raw 12.00am Extreme Championship Wrestling 1.00 Boots N All Special 1.30 Rugby League

Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

12.00pm Angel 1.00 Buffy The Vampire Slayer 2.00 Cold Case 3.00 Las Vegas 4.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 6.00 Stargate Atlantis 7.00 The Simpsons (x4) 9.00 Bones 10.00 Cold Case (x2) 12.00am Las Vegas 1.00 Stargate Atlantis 1.50 Very Worst... 2.40 Star Trek: Voyager 3.30 So You Think You’re Safe?

7.00pm The Panic Room 8.00 The Real Hustle 8.30 Rush Hour 9.00 The Bulls*** Detective 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 The Real Hustle 11.00 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps (x2) 12.00am Rush Hour 12.30 The Bulls*** Detective 1.25 The Real Hustle 1.55 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps (x2)

7.10pm The Avengers 8.00 The World 8.30 Once A Soldier 9.00 The Edwardians In Colour: The Wonderful World Of Albert Kahn 10.00 The Diary Of A Nobody. See highlights.

10.30 Edwardian Supersize Me 11.30 Once A Soldier 12.00am The Edwardians In Colour: The Wonderful World Of Albert Kahn

1.00pm Emmerdale 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.35 The Ricki Lake Show 4.25 Sally Jessy Raphael 5.15 Airline USA 5.45 Judge Judy 7.00 Smallville 8.00 WAGs Boutique: The Final Score 9.00 Katie And Peter: The Next Chapter 10.00 Deadline 11.00 Supernatural 12.00am Sally Morgan: Star Psychic

12.55pm Mapp And Lucia 2.00 Never The Twain 2.30 Tales Of The Unexpected 3.00 Cagney And Lacey 4.00 Pie In The Sky 5.05 Quantum Leap 6.05 Rising Damp 6.40 Movies Now 6.50 Lovejoy 8.00 The Two Ronnies 9.00 Blue Murder 10.30 FILM: Jaws 3 (1983) 12.25am Hack 1.20 Mapp And Lucia 2.15 Hornblower

12.00pm Nothing But...

Scousers 1.00 Ne-Yo – Here We Go 2.00 Switched 2.30 One Tree Hill 3.30 Smallville 4.30 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 The War At Home 8.00 Friends 9.00 ER 10.00 Sex In Court 10.30 FILM: Domestic Disturbance (2001) 12.20am Scrubs (x2)

2.00 ER (x2) 4.00 FILM: Victim (1961) 5.50 3 Minute Wonder (x3) 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs Abroad 8.00 More4 News 8.30 The Daily Show 9.00 Grand Designs 10.00 Grand Designs: Trade Secrets 10.35 Without A Trace 11.30 NYPD Blue 12.35am The Daily Show

1.00pm Will And Grace (x2) 2.00 Bewitched (x2) 3.00 Close To Home 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 The X Files 8.00 Kath And Kim 8.30 Campus Ladies 9.00 CSI: Miami 10.00 Boston Legal 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am The X Files 1.00 Boston Legal

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

4.20pm Open All Hours 5.00 One Foot In The Grave 5.40 Some Mothers Do ‘Ave ‘Em 6.20 Keeping Up Appearances 7.00 New Tricks (x2) 9.00 Jim’ll Fix It Strikes Again 9.30 TV Now And Then 10.10 Only Fools And Horses 11.15 Men Behaving Badly 11.55 Jim’ll Fix It Strikes Again 12.30am TV Now And Then

4.00pm King Of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Less Than Perfect (x2) 7.00 Scrubs (x2) 8.00 That 70s Show (x2) 9.00 Everybody Hates Chris (x2) 10.00 Sex And The City 10.35 South Park (x2) 11.35 Comedy Blue 12.05am The World Comedy Tour: Melbourne 2003 1.10 Sex And The City

1.00pm Deadliest Catch 2.00 The FBI Files 3.00 Forensic Detectives 4.00 Time Team 5.00 How It’s Made (x2) 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 Mythbusters 8.00 How Do They Do It? 8.30 How It’s Made 9.00 My Shocking Story 10.00 World’s Lost Tribes 11.00 Extreme Medical Stories 12.00am The FBI Files

3.00pm FILM: The Adventures Of Buckaroo Banzai Across The Eighth Dimension (1984) 5.00 Tru Calling 6.00 The Lost World 7.00 Roswell 8.00 Tru Calling 9.00 Stephen King’s Desperation 10.00 FILM: Dracula II: Ascension (2003) 11.35 FILM: Emmanuelle 2000: Jewel Of Emmanuelle (2000)

1.35pm The High And The Mighty (1954) 4.05 The Idle Class 4.45 North To Alaska (1960) 7.00 Pal Joey (1957) 9.00 The Abominable Dr Phibes (1971) 10.40 Dr Phibes Rises Again (1973) 12.15am A Lovely Way To Die (1968) 2.15 A Woman Of Paris (1923) 4.00 Pay Day (1922) 4.30 City Lights (1931)

12.00pm Garden State (2004) 2.00 The Machinist (2004) 4.00 Les Diaboliques (1955) 6.00 Indie Close-Up 6.25 Into The Deep 7.10 Garden State (2004) 9.00 Two Days In The Valley (1996) 11.00 The Machinist (2004) 12.45am Action & Thriller Close-Up 1.05 Les Diaboliques (1955)

1.00pm It Should Happen To You (1953) 2.45 Cleopatra (1963) Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton show us how history really rocked back in the day.

7.05 Memoirs Of An Invisible Man (1992) 9.00 The Core (2003) 11.35 Kung Fu Hustle (2004) 1.25am Assault On Precinct 13 (1976)

6.55am San Quentin (1937) 8.15 Home From The Hill (1960) 11.00 Julius Caesar (1953) 1.15pm My Favourite Year (1982) 3.00 The Asphalt Jungle (1950) 5.05 Bhowani Junction (1956) 7.15 Billy The Kid (1941) 9.00 Maybe Baby (2000) 11.00 The Last Run (1971) 12.45am Victor/Victoria (1982)

Classics

Indie

054_LS318_TVfri

4/18/07

3:37 PM

Page 1

friday 27 Death Of The British Seaside: Tonight ITV1, 8pm Michael Nicholson investigates the individual errors that have ultimately plunged some northern seaside towns into terminal decline – and looks at the few resorts bucking the trend (and that means you, Brighton). Feel smug, and be glad that you don’t live up North.

Peep Show Channel 4, 10.30pm Currently being hailed as nothing less than the second coming in some quarters, this is one show that’s worth the hype. Tonight, Mark avoids Sophie by joining a gym, but doesn’t realise that his trainer takes his exercise regime far too seriously. Meanwhile Jeremy discovers what’s going on with his ex-wife.

Freaky Eaters: Addicted to Chocolate BBC3, 8pm Rachel Renton is a typical Geordie lass with a deep, dark secret: she can’t stop binging on chocolate. Tonight it’s up to psychological coach Benjamin Fry and nutritionist Natalie Savona to sort her out. Can they cure her junk food addiction in just four weeks?

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Missing 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.30 Car Booty 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News; Weather 1.30 Regional News And Weather 1.40 Neighbours 2.05 Doctors 2.35 Diagnosis Murder 3.20 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3.25 Lazytown 3.50 The Likeaballs 4.00 Totally Doctor Who 4.30 Extreme Animals 5.00 The Underdog Show On CBBC 5.25 Newsround 5.35 Neighbours

6.00am Fimbles 6.20 The Story Makers 6.35 Balamory 7.00 Arthur 7.15 ChuckleVision 7.30 Get 100 8.00 The Underdog Show 8.30 Tommy Zoom 8.40 Numberjacks 9.00 Nina And The Neurons 9.15 Lunar Jim 9.25 Me Too! 9.45 Mama Mirabelle’s Home Movies 10.00 Postman Pat 10.15 The Roly Mo Show 10.30 The Maths Channel (x2) 10.50 Watch 11.05 Tales Of Europe 11.20 Focus 11.40 Primary History: Saxons And Vikings 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.30 Snooker 5.55 Party Election Broadcast 6.00 Eggheads General knowledge quiz.

6.30 Great British Menu 7.00 World Championship Snooker Hazel Irvine introduces action from the World Championship at the Crucible Theatre in Sheffield, where the first quarter-finalist will be decided. The commentary team is Clive Everton, Dennis Taylor, John Virgo, Willie Thorne, Terry Griffiths and Neal Foulds.

7.30 Christine’s Garden September arrives in the garden and the summer heat gives way to the first smells of autumn.

8.00 Gardeners’ World I 9.00 Timewatch Telling the stories of four children hidden in France to avoid concentration camps during World War II. 9.50 Deer In The City 10.00 QI David Mitchell, Andy Hamilton, John Sessions and Alan Davies get to grips with doves.

10.30 Newsnight 11.00 Newsnight Review Round-table arts discussion series.

11.35 World Championship Snooker Hazel Irvine introduces highlights from the evening’s secondround matches of the World Championship at the Crucible.

12.25am World Championship Snooker – Extra 2.25 Star Trek (x2) 4.05 Malcolm In The Middle

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 2.00 Midsomer Murders 4.00 Daily Cooks 5.00 The Royal

6.05am Making It 6.10 The Hoobs (x2) 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Just Shoot Me (x2) 8.55 Frasier (x2) 9.50 Will And Grace 10.15 Without A Trace (x2) 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 Room For Improvement 1.00 Channel 4 Racing From Sandown Park 2.30 Life Begins Again 3.30 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The New Paul O’Grady Show

6.00 Meridian Tonight Local news magazine. Including Meridian weather.

6.25 Party Election Broadcast By The Liberal Democrats By the Liberal Democrats.

6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather The latest national and international news.

7.00 Emmerdale Rosemary blackmails Hari. Val and Sharon reach an uneasy truce.

7.30 Coronation Street Carla’s anger stirs up trouble among the Connors. Blanche realises she has returned to an unhappy home.

8.00 Death Of The British Seaside: Tonight See highlights.

8.30 Midsomer Murders Barnaby and Scott delve into the murder of a visitor to Plummer’s Relish factory.

10.30 ITV News; Weather The latest national and international news, plus national weather.

Including local news programmes.

11.00 WAGs Boutique: The Final Score After 13 gruelling weeks of fashion and feuding, the WAGS face their final and toughest challenge yet as they struggle to make their final sales.

12.30am ITV Play: Make Your Play ITV’s interactive game show with big prizes.

4.10 60 Minute Makeover 5.00 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning NewsT

6.00 The Simpsons Homer and Marge are sent to bad parent school when Bart catches head lice and Lisa loses her shoes.

6.30 Hollyoaks Will watches as Zak, Jessica and Kris discover the comatose Zoe, then pretends to be shocked when he walks in.

7.00 Channel 4 News Including sport and weather.

7.35 Unreported World Evan Williams and James Brabazon report from the Ivory Coast.

8.00 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away .

9.00 Ugly Betty Comedy drama.

10.00 Derren Brown: Trick Or Treat Derren teaches a pensioner how to play poker professionally.

10.30 Peep Show Comedy series about two socially dysfunctional losers See highlights.

11.05 Peter Kay’s Phoenix Nights Will fire safety officer Keith Lard succeed in closing the Phoenix Club?

11.40 Transmission With T-Mobile 12.45am 4 Music: Red Bull Music Academy: Melbourne 1.15 4 Music: The JD Set Presents: Cold War Kids 1.30 Goalissimo!

2.25 Gumball 3000 2.55 KOTV 3.20 Supporting Acts 3.30 Trans World Sport 4.25 Adrenalin Rush 4.55 Supporting Acts

6.00am Save-Ums! 6.10 Fifi And The Flowertots 6.25 Franny’s Feet 6.35 Bird Bath 6.45 Funky Town 6.50 Milkshake! 7.20 Sunny Patch Friends 7.30 Little Princess 7.45 Noddy 8.05 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.40 Old Bear Stories 8.50 Mio Mao 9.00 Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 Five News 12.00pm Home And Away 12.30 HouseBusters 1.30 Russell Grant’s Postcards 1.35 FILM: Seasons Of The Heart (1994) 3.35 News 3.40 FILM: Danielle Steel’s No Greater Love (1995) 5.30 Five News 6.00 Home And Away Johnny’s appearance at Rocco’s funeral rattles everyone.

6.30 Two And A Half Men When Alan gets apprehensive about an upcoming medical procedure, Charlie convinces him to take a trip to Las Vegas.

7.00 Five News National and international news.

7.30 Mean Machines This edition investigates the world of logging, with a look at cutting edge loggers, including a fully remote controlled logger, and a tree-chopping submarine.

8.00 Super Bears Documentary studying some of the world’s biggest bears, the largest and strongest landdwelling carnivores on Earth.

9.00 NCIS When an ambulance carrying the body of a dead marine explodes, the agents uncover evidence of subterfuge that leads them to suspect that the marine’s family has something to hide.

10.00 Law And Order: Criminal Intent Detectives Gorem and Eames become curious about an altruistic Good Samaritan.

11.00 Raised By The Hand Of God: Hidden Lives 12.00am Prison Break Michael and Lincoln attempt to expose the Company.

1.00 Quiz Call 5.35 Wildlife SOS

6.00am Trans World Sport 7.00 WWE Raw 9.00 Sailing: America’s Cup 10.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 10.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 11.00 Live European Tour Golf 1.00pm FIFA Futbol Mundial 1.30 Guinness Rugby Club 3.00 Trans World Sport 4.00 LIVE European Tour Golf 6.00 Soccer AM’s All Sports Show 7.00 Premier League Preview 7.30 LIVE Super League 10.00 LIVE Friday Fight Night 12.00am Cricket World Cup 1.30 Premier League Preview 2.00 Friday Fight Night 4.00 Soccer AM’s All Sports Show 5.00 Premier League Preview 5.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial

6.00 BBC News And Weather The latest news and weather.

6.30 South East Today; Weather Regional news magazine.

7.00 A Question Of Sport Sports quiz hosted by Sue Barker with regular captains Ally McCoist and Matt Dawson and guests David Bentley, Joe Lydon, Graeme Sharp and James Hook.

7.30 Rogue Traders Matt Allwright and Dan Penteado go undercover in search of service providers who try to rip off their clients.

8.00 EastEnders Denise is left reeling by Shirley’s admission.

Phil proposes to Stella.

8.30 My Family Handsome millionaire art collector, James Garrett, reappears in Susan’s life and Ben feels jealous when the two of them share a hotel bedroom.

9.00 Have I Got News For You Comedy quiz show with Ian Hislop and Paul Merton.

9.30 Ruddy Hell! It’s Harry And Paul 10.00 BBC News; Regional News; Weather 10.35 Friday Night With Jonathan Ross Guests include Tobey Maguire and Kirsten Dunst, plus music from Jamie T. 11.35 FILM: Timecop (1994) Futuristic thriller with Jean-Claude Van Damme.

1.15am Joins BBC News 24

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 On The Edge 7.00 Sailing: America’s Cup 8.00 Guinness Rugby Club 9.30 On The Edge 10.00 Boots ‘n’ All 10.30 Rugby League 1.00pm LIVE Sailing: America’s Cup 3.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 4.00 Race World 5.00 Premier League Preview 5.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 6.00 Cricket World Cup 7.30 LIVE Football League 10.00 Soccer AM’s All Sports Show 11.00 Premier League Preview 11.30 Sailing: America’s Cup 12.30am Golf Night 3.00 Sailing: America’s Cup 4.00 Rally World 4.30 Cricket World Cup

Sky Sports 3 7.30am Darts: Premier League 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Trans World Sport 1.00 On The Edge 1.30 European Tour Golf 3.30 NBA Action 4.00 Fishing: Bass Fishing 5.00 WWE Raw 7.00 Rally World 7.30 Gillette World Sport 8.00 World Cup Cricket - Final Preview 9.30 Sailing: America’s Cup 10.30 WWE Late Night Smackdown 12.30am WWE Late Night Bottom Line 1.30 Football League 3.00 Football: UEFA Champions League (x3)

Matt Chittock

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

9.00am Project Runway 10.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 12.00pm Angel 1.00 Buffy The Vampire Slayer 2.00 Cold Case 3.00 Las Vegas 4.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 6.00 Stargate Atlantis 7.00 The Simpsons (x3) 8.30 Crash Test Dummies 9.00 FILM: Footloose (1984) 11.00 Back Inside Britain’s Fattest Man 12.00am Cold Case

7.00pm Castaway 8.00 Freaky Eaters: Addicted To Chocolate. See highlights 9.00 Doctor Who 9.45 Doctor Who Confidential 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Two Pints Of Lager... (x2) 11.30 Two Pints Outtakes 11.35 Jonathan Ross’s Japanorama 12.05am Ideal 12.35 Family Guy (x2)

7.00pm 10 Best Elgar 8.00 The World 8.30 In Concert 9.00 Originals: Robyn Hitchcock 10.00 BBC Four Sessions 11.00 Never Mind The Full Stops 11.30 The Avengers 12.20am Originals: Robyn Hitchcock 1.20 BBC Four Sessions 2.20 10 Best Elgar 3.20 Never Mind The Full Stops 3.50 Close

1.00pm Emmerdale 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.40 The Ricki Lake Show 4.25 Sally Jessy Raphael 5.15 Airline USA 5.45 Judge Judy 7.00 Smallville 8.00 Airline 8.30 American Idol (x2) 11.30 Sally Morgan: Star Psychic 12.30am Coronation Street 1.00 Katie And Peter: The Next Chapter 2.00 ITV Play

2.35pm Tales Of The Unexpected 3.05 Cagney And Lacey 4.05 Pie In The Sky 5.10 Quantum Leap 6.10 Rising Damp 6.40 Film File 6.50 Lovejoy 8.00 Pie In The Sky 9.00 FILM: Jaws 3 (1983) 10.55 Tales Of The Unexpected (x2) 11.55 Lovejoy 1.05am Mapp And Lucia 2.05 The Ruth Rendell Mysteries: Front Seat

2.00pm Switched 2.30 One Tree Hill 3.30 Smallville 4.30 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 The War At Home 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Wife Swap 10.00 Wife Swap: The Aftermath 10.30 FILM: Carrie (1976) 12.25am Scrubs (x2) 1.25 FILM: Carrie (1976) 3.10 Smallville

12.00pm A Place In The Sun 1.10 Deal Or No Deal 2.00 ER (x2) 4.00 FILM: Belle Starr (1941) 5.35 A Place In The Sun 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs Abroad 8.00 More4 News 8.30 The Daily Show 9.00 Without A Trace 10.00 The Closer 11.00 The World’s Biggest Penis 12.00am ER

12.00pm Maury 12.55 The Fix 1.00 Will And Grace (x2) 2.00 Bewitched (x2) 3.00 Close To Home 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 The X Files 8.00 Close To Home 9.00 Criminal Minds 10.00 CSI: Miami 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am The X Files 1.00 Criminal Minds

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

3.55pm Only Fools And Horses 5.00 One Foot In The Grave 5.40 Some Mothers Do ‘Ave ‘Em 6.20 Keeping Up Appearances 7.00 New Tricks (x2) 9.00 The Vicar Of Dibley (x2) 10.20 EuroMillions: Boom Bang A Bang 10.30 FILM: Terminator 3: Rise Of The Machines (2003) 12.45am FILM: Raw Deal (1986)

2.00pm Frasier (x2) 3.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 4.00 King Of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Less Than Perfect (x2) 7.00 Scrubs (x2) 8.00 That 70s Show (x2) 9.00 South Park (x5) 11.30 Comedy Blue 12.00am Badly Dubbed Porn 12.30 Sexy Cam (x3) 2.00 Comedy Blue

12.00pm Mythbusters 1.00 Deadliest Catch 2.00 The FBI Files 3.00 Forensic Detectives 4.00 Time Team 5.00 How It’s Made (x2) 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 Mythbusters 8.00 How Do They Do It? 8.30 How It’s Made 9.00 Mythbusters 10.00 How Do They Do It? (x2) 11.00 True Crime Scene 12.00am The FBI Files

11.00am FILM: The Adventures Of Buckaroo Banzai Across The Eighth Dimension (1984) 1.00pm Star Trek 2.00 The Lost World 3.00 FILM: Faultline (2004) 5.00 Tru Calling 6.00 The Lost World 7.00 Roswell 8.00 Tru Calling 9.00 FILM: The I Inside (2003) 10.50 FILM: Fight Club (1999) 1.25am Heroes

6.15am Modern Times (1936) 8.05 The Party (1968) 9.45 Lawrence Of Arabia (1962) 1.20pm Billion Dollar Brain (1967) 3.40 The Party (1968) 5.25 Lawrence Of Arabia (1962) 9.00 Billion Dollar Brain (1967) 10.50 Rosemary’s Baby (1968) 1.10am Monsieur Verdoux (1947)

12.00pm The Eighth Day (1996) 2.00 Love, Etc (1996) 4.00 Napoleon Dynamite Special Edition (2004) 5.45 Indie Close-Up 6.15 The Last Buffalo (1990) 7.00 The Eighth Day (1996) 9.00 Napoleon Dynamite Special Edition (2004) 11.00 Ong-Bak (2004) 12.55am Love, Etc (1996)

1.00pm The Mark Of Zorro (1974) Swash-buckling action. 2.20 Autumn Leaves (1956) 4.30 Prince Valiant (1954) 6.25 The Train (1964) 9.00 Close Encounters Of The Third Kind (1977) Epic sci-fi 11.35 The Proposition (2005) Nick Cave-scripted antipodean cowboy flick.

1.35am The Great Silence (1969)

8.25am Anchors Aweigh (1945) 11.00 Mutiny On The Bounty (1935) 1.35pm 20,000 Years In Sing Sing (1933) 3.00 Three Little Words (1950) 4.55 Across The Wide Missouri (1951) 6.35 The Champ (1979) 9.00 The Pelican Brief (1993) 11.35 The Hunger (1983) 1.20am The Gypsy Moths (1969)

Classics

Indie

055_LS318_TVsat

4/20/07

10:40 AM

Page 1

saturday 28 Grease Is The Word: Live ITV1, 7.30pm Brighton’s favourite presenter Zoe Ball hosts the first live extravaganza of the series as the final eight couples fight it out to become the next onstage Danny and Sandy. On hand to bitch and cajole the contestants will be producer David Ian, ex-Mr Liza Minelli David Gest and ex-pop star Sinitta.

Prince Charles: The Bachelor Years Channel 4, 7pm Anyone who’s only familiar with the nation’s favourite German through his current whey-faced incarnation will be shocked to discover that Chaz used to be a bit of a player in his youth.

Tonight, Channel 4 recreates the babe-studded bachelordom of Prince Charles.

Secret Life More 4, 10.05pm A controversial drama from More 4 questioning the lack of measures in place to prevent convicted sex offenders from re-offending. When a child molester is released from prison after serving his sentence, stability collapses when he’s cast into the community. Harrowing, near-to-the-knuckle stuff.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 10.00 Saturday Kitchen 11.30 Great British Menu 12.00pm BBC News; Weather 12.10 Football Focus 1.00 World Championship Snooker 4.30 Final Score 5.15 BBC News; Regional News; Weather 5.35 Just For Laughs

6.00am Teletubbies 6.30 Balamory 6.50 Step Inside 7.00 Batfink 7.10 Arthur 7.35 The Underdog Show On CBBC 8.00 Watch My Chops 8.15 Mona The Vampire 8.35 The Story Of Tracy Beaker 9.00 Hider In The House 10.00 The Underdog Show On CBBC 10.30 Totally Doctor Who 11.00 The Story Of Tracy Beaker 11.30 The Fairly Odd Parents 11.45 Sportsround 12.00pm See Hear 12.30 FILM: The Magnificent Showman (1964) 2.50 FILM: The Riddle Of The Sands (1979) 4.30 Superstorm 5.30 World Championship Snooker 8.30 Porridge Fletcher is incensed when a third cellmate arrives, and to add insult to injury, he turns out to be one of his old enemies. But why is everyone being so polite to this new prisoner?

9.00 The Return Of ‘Allo ‘Allo The cast and characters of the classic sitcom return with brand new scenes specially written by Jeremy Lloyd and a documentary revealing the history behind the show.

10.45 ‘Allo ‘Allo! With Maria and the Fallen Madonna caught by Von Klinkerhoffen, a brave rescue attempt is planned, in fact, three rescue attempts.

11.20 Have I Got A Bit More News For You Paul Merton and Ian Hislop continue to entertain in the extended version of the classic news quiz. Fern Britton plays guest host, with Reginald D Hunter as guest panellist.

12.00am The Apprentice Sir Alan calls the candidates to Christie’s in London’s St James, where works of art are regularly sold for hundreds of thousands of pounds. The rival teams are set the task of selling art photographs of their choosing in a trendy East London gallery, but are split on whether to take a subtle, persuasive approach with the artists and their customers or to go for the hard sell.

1.00 World Championship 1.50 World Championship Snooker

6.00am GMTV 9.25 Horrid Henry 9.40 Grizzly Tales For Gruesome Kids 9.50 Tricky Quickies 9.55 Art Attack 10.20 The Amazing Adrenalini Brothers 10.25 Tricky Quickies 10.30 Jungle Run 11.00 King Arthur’s Disasters 11.30 Drake And Josh 12.00pm Saturday Cooks 1.30 ITV News; Weather 1.35 Meridian News And Weather 1.40 American Idol 2.40 Planet’s Funniest Animals 3.00 FILM: Smokey And The Bandit II (1980) 4.55 Meridian News And Weather 5.10 ITV News; Sports Results; Weather 5.25 You’ve Been Framed!

6.25 Vernon Kay’s Gameshow Marathon The next stop on the Gameshow Marathon is The Golden Shot and this week we’re playing live. This classic 70’s show is given a 2007 make-over, with our celebrity contestants taking aim and firing crossbows to win points.

7.30 Grease Is The Word: Live See highlights.

9.00 Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? Chris Tarrant is back with the 21st series of the show where ten contestants compete in the fastest finger round for a place in the hot seat and the chance of walking away with the top prize of one million pounds.

10.00 Grease Is The Word Results The two couples with the lowest votes from the public will perform again in a sing off in front of our panel of celebrity judges - and we say goodbye to our first pair of Danny and Sandy hopefuls.

10.30 ITV News; Weather 10.45 The Dame Edna Treatment Tonight’s guests include British MP Boris Johnson and, ex-MASH star Alan Alda.

11.30 Itv Weekend News 11.43 ITV Weather 11.44 Regional Weather 11.45 FILM: Hope Floats (1998) 1.50am ITV Play: Make Your Play 3.50 Don’t Move, Improve 5.00 ITV Nightscreen

6.10am The Hoobs (x2) 7.00 Goalissimo! 8.00 The Morning Line 8.55 Nothing But... Natasha Bedingfield 9.25 Musicool 10.30 Popworld 11.20 Friends 11.50 Natasha Bedingfield: T4 Special 12.25pm Shipwrecked 2007: The Hut Cam Diaries 12.55 Shipwrecked 2007: Battle Of The Islands 2.00 Channel 4 Racing From Sandown Park And Ripon 4.10 Location, Location, Location 4.45 Deal Or No Deal Classic 5.35 Monarchy By David Starkey

6.00am Sunrise 6.55 Franklin 7.25 Mist: Sheepdog Tales 7.35 Little Princess 7.45 Make Way For Noddy 7.55 Say It With Noddy 8.00 Harry And His Bucket Full Of Dinosaurs (x2) 8.30 The Book Of Pooh 9.00 Ebb And Flo 9.05 Peppa Pig 9.15 Fifi And The Flowertots 9.30 Jane And The Dragon 10.00 World’s Strongest Man 11.00 Making Of The World’s Strongest Man 12.00pm FILM: Whispering Smith (1948) 1.40 FILM: Six Black Horses (1962) 3.10 FILM: Columbo: Double Shock (1973) 4.45 FILM: Born To Be Wild (1995) 6.35 FILM: Blind Date (1987) Farcical comedy about a businessman who tries to climb the corporate ladder but pays a high price for ignoring his beautiful escort’s allergy to alcohol.

8.10 Five News And Sport The latest national and international headlines.

8.30 NCIS Tony goes undercover to help a prisoner escape from a military detention camp in order to recover millions of dollars worth of Iraqi art.

Little does he know that the man he is trying to help may also be a dangerous killer.

9.25 CSI:NY When a rich real estate agent is found dead in a brownstone, Mac and Stella work with evidence that suggests he was either the perpetrator or victim of a kidnap.

Across town, Danny and Hawkes become immersed in the popular sport of grocery cart races when a player becomes a victim.

10.25 Law And Order The team experience mixed feelings when they find themselves prosecuting a priest for the murder of an evil drug dealer.

11.25 Grey’s Anatomy Bailey instructs an unenthusiastic Cristina to look after her baby.

12.25am Grey’s Anatomy A series of deaths at the hospital brings out the superstitious side of the doctors.

1.25 Quiz Call 5.35 Wildlife SOS

6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Premier League Preview 7.00 Soccer AM’s All Sports Show 8.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 8.30 Premier League Preview 9.00 Soccer AM 12.00pm Ford Football Special 3.00 Gillette Soccer Saturday 5.30 LIVE Super League 8.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 8.25 Football First: Game Of The Day 10.15 Football First: Match Choice (x5) 5.45 Sky Sports Classics

6.05 The National Lottery People’s Quiz 6.45 Doctor Who As a new Dalek Empire rises in 1930s New York, the Doctor must enter an unholy alliance.

7.30 Any Dream Will Do With 10 potential Josephs remaining, the musical hopefuls battle it out live in front of the expert panel and under the watchful eye of Andrew Lloyd Webber.

8.35 Casualty Josh has to face some difficult decisions.

9.25 The National Lottery People’s Quiz 9.45 Any Dream Will Do Another potential Joseph leaves the competition.

10.15 BBC News; Weather BBC News; Weather.

10.30 Match Of The Day Gary Lineker presents highlights of eight Premiership matches.

11.50 Cricket World Cup Highlights Manish Bhasin, Jonathan Agnew and Rishi Persad present highlights of the World Cup final in Barbados.

12.50am Friday Night With Jonathan Ross Guests include Hollywood stars Tobey Maguire and Kirsten Dunst.

1.55 Sign Zone: Hairy Bikers Ride Again 2.25 Horizon 3.15 To Buy Or Not To Buy 4.00 Joins BBC News 24 5.00 Cricket World Cup Highlights

6.35 Channel 4 News Including sport and weather.

7.00 Prince Charles: The Bachelor Years See highlights.

8.00 Face Of Britain Neil Oliver travels to Orkney to investigate if the islands’ inhabitants are descended from Viking warriors, and examines the archaeological and linguistic evidence left by the Norse and Celtic legacy.

9.00 FILM: Phone Booth (2002) Starring Colin Farrell, Kiefer Sutherland, Forest Whitaker, Radha Mitchell and Katie Holmes. Suspense thriller in which a slick media consultant answers a ringing phone in the street only to be trapped in the booth after being told by the caller - a serial killer with a sniper rifle - that he’ll be shot dead if he hangs up.

10.30 FILM: The Firm (1993) Starring Tom Cruise, Jeanne Tripplehorn, Gene Hackman, Hal Holbrook, Holly Hunter and Ed Harris. A newly-graduated lawyer rejects big city law companies to join a small Memphis firm, but soon finds himself immersed in corruption and murder. Based on the best-selling novel.

1.20am 4 Music Presents... Lost Prophets Tunes and chat from the Welsh straight-edgers.

1.50 Rockfeedback 2.15 FILM: Slam (1998) 4.00 FILM: Hav Plenty (1998) 5.25 Countdown

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Sports Unlimited 7.00 Sailing: America’s Cup 8.00 Max Power 9.00 Cricket World Cup 10.30 LIVE Rugby Union: Super 14 12.30pm LIVE Sailing: America’s Cup 2.00 LIVE Cricket: World Cup Final (x2) 11.00 Motor Racing: A1 Grand Prix 1.00am Super League 2.30 Speedway 5.30 On The Edge

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Fishing: Bass Fishing 7.00 Friday Fight Night 9.00 Racing News 10.00 WWE Smackdown 12.00pm Rally World 12.30 Sky Sports Classics 12.45 Ford Football Special 2.45 LIVE Rugby Union 5.30 WWE Smackdown 7.30 Golf Night 9.00 LIVE Spanish Football 11.00 Extreme Championship Wrestling 12.00am WWE Smackdown 2.00 WWE The Bottom Line 3.00 Sailing: America’s Cup 4.00 Motor Racing: A1 Grand Prix

Matt Chittock

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

12.00pm Best Of Bones (x3) 3.00 Relic Hunter 4.00 The Dog Whisperer (x2) 5.00 Malcolm In The Middle (x4) US comedy.

7.00 Futurama (x2) 8.00 Cold Case 9.00 Bones 10.00 24 11.00 Nip/Tuck 12.05am Cold Case 1.00 I’m Still Alive 1.50 Naked In Blackpool 2.40 Red Light Girls

7.00pm The Real Hustle 7.30 Doctor Who Confidential 8.15 Top Gear 9.15 Little Britain 9.45 FILM: Enigma (2001) 11.40 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps (x2) 12.40am Ideal 1.10 Rush Hour 1.40 The Real Hustle 2.10 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps (x2) 3.10 Ideal 3.40 Rush Hour

7.00pm Europe: A Natural History 7.50 The Lost World 9.05 Edwardian Supersize Me 10.05 The Edwardian Larder 11.05 Shopping For England 12.05am 10 Best Elgar 1.05 Originals: Robyn Hitchcock. Music doc. 2.05 Europe: A Natural History 2.55 Edwardian Supersize Me

5.35pm Planet’s Funniest Animals 6.00 Nanny 911 7.00 Smallville 8.00 Filthy Homes From Hell 9.00 Greased Lightnin’ 10.00 Planet’s Funniest Animals 10.30 Greased Lightnin’ Results 11.00 FILM: Twins (1988) 1.10am Grease Is The Word: Live 2.30 Grease Is The Word Results

4.15pm Kevin Whately: Morse And Me 4.20 Inspector Morse 6.25 The Music Of Morse 7.30 There’s Something About...

Morse 8.30 Kevin Whately: Morse And Me 8.35 Inspector Morse 10.35 Kevin Whately: Morse And Me 10.40 Inspector Morse 12.55am Super Sleuths: Inspector Morse

1.30pm Pussycat Dolls Present: The Search For The Next Pussycat Doll 2.30 Hollyoaks Omnibus 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 The Simple Life: Interns (x2) 6.55 Wife Swap 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Desperate Housewives (x3) 12.00am Pussycat Dolls Present: The Search For The Next Pussycat Doll

9.00am Velux 5 Oceans Ultimate Solo Challenge 9.30 A Place In The Sun 10.00 Time Team (x4) 1.00pm Grand Designs Abroad (x5) 6.25 Snowmail 6.30 FILM: Man With The Gun (1955) 8.00 The Year The Earth Went Wild 10.05 Secret Life. See highlights.

11.35 The Closer 12.30am Grand Designs Abroad

10.00am The Golden Girls (x2) 11.00 Wonder Woman 12.00pm The Amazing Race 1.00 The Bachelor USA 2.00 Will And Grace (x2) 3.00 America’s Next Top Model (x5) 8.00 The X Files 9.00 Most Haunted 10.00 Hotel Babylon 11.05 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am Most Haunted

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

12.30pm My Family (x3) 2.25 Keeping Up Appearances (x3) 4.25 My Family (x3) 6.25 FILM: Junior (1994) 8.30 Jim’ll Fix It Strikes Again 9.00 FILM: Terminator 3: Rise Of The Machines (2003) 11.15 FILM: Raw Deal (1986) 1.20am Have I Got 2001 For You 2.00 Room 101 2.35 House of Elliott (x6)

2.00pm King Of Queens (x2) 3.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 4.00 King Of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 King Of Queens (x2) 7.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 8.00 Everybody Hates Chris (x2) 9.00 South Park (x2) 10.05 FILM: Beverly Hills Cop III (1993) 12.05am Badly Dubbed Porn

12.00pm Forensic Detectives (x6) 6.00 Seven Wonders Of Ancient Rome 7.00 The First Pompeii 8.00 Oil, Sweat And Rigs 9.00 True Crime Scene 10.00 My Shocking Story 11.00 The FBI Files 12.00am The FBI Files 1.00 Code Of Silence 2.00 Forensic Detectives 3.00 My Shocking Story 3.50 True Crime Scene

12.05pm Firefly (x6) 6.25 FILM: Waterworld (1995) Fabled sci-fi flop with Kevin Costner. 9.00 FILM: Superman III (1983) 11.20 Heroes 12.20am Erotic Misadventures Of The Invisible Man. Selfexplanatory horror-tinged skin flick. 2.10 FILM: The I Inside (2003) 4.00 The Outer Limits (x2)

10.20am Guadalcanal Diary (1943) 11.55 The Big Clock (1948) 1.35pm A King In New York (1957) 3.30 Classics Close Up 3.55 Guadalcanal Diary (1943) 5.30 The Blue Dahlia (1946) 7.15 The Big Clock (1948) 9.00 Seconds (1966) 11.00 Soldier Blue (1970) 1.00am The Rain People (1969)

12.00pm The Hudsucker Proxy (1994) Inspired comedy. 2.00 Shoot The Pianist (1962) 3.50 Don’t Move (2004) 6.05 Space Station 3D 7.05 The Hudsucker Proxy (1994) 9.00 Asylum (2005) 11.00 Blue Velvet (1986) 1.05am Shoot The Pianist (1962) 2.55 Space Station 3D

1.00pm The Iron Petticoat (1956) 2.45 Queen Bee (1955) 4.30 The Man From Colorado (1948) 6.25 Close Encounters Of The Third Kind (1977) 9.00 Austin Powers: International Man Of Mystery (1997) 10.45 Jacob’s Ladder (1990) 12.55am Carnival Of Souls (1962) 2.35 Notre Musique (2004)

3.00pm The Maltese Falcon (1941) 4.50 Please Don’t Eat The Daisies (1960) 7.00 Mrs Soffel (1984) 9.00 Interview With The Vampire (1994) 11.15 Classic Shorts - Silence Is Golden 11.35 Classic Shorts - Tokyo Jim 11.55 The Dirty Dozen (1967) 2.40am Classic Shorts Icicle Melt

Classics

Indie

056_LS318_TVsun

4/20/07

10:39 AM

Page 1

sunday 29 Victoria’s Empire BBC1, 8pm New series in which comedienne Victoria Wood visits countries that used to be part of the British Empire. Tonight it’s Calcutta – where she finds well-preserved Victorian buildings – and then on to Hong Kong where she gets her love life analysed by a fortune teller. Fluffy stuff with our Vic making an amiable guide.

The South Bank Show ITV1, 11pm With his new opus This Is England looking set to get tongues wagging, Sir Melvyn of Bragg presents a timely look at the work of director Shane Meadows. The Braggster visits the set and talks to Shane about his childhood, the filming process and the recurring themes that haunt his movies.

Kevin Whatley: Morse and Me ITV3, 9.40pm Whatever YouTube and the internet explosion does to television as a whole there’ll always be a part of cyberspace, videotape or whatever on which Morse and Lewis are still doing their double act. This moving documentary looks at the duo’s relationship on and off-set.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 7.35 Match Of The Day 9.00 Sunday AM 10.00 Heaven And Earth With Gloria Hunniford 11.00 Countryfile 12.00pm The Politics Show 1.00 Keeping Up Appearances 1.30 ’Allo ’Allo! 2.00 Diagnosis Murder 2.45 Cash In The Attic 3.15 EastEnders 5.10 Points Of View 5.25 Songs Of Praise

6.00am Teletubbies 6.30 Balamory 6.50 Step Inside 7.00 Batfink 7.10 Legend Of The Dragon 7.30 Smile 10.00 Something For The Weekend 11.30 FILM: The Black Rose (1950) 1.30pm Premiership Rugby 1.55 European Gymnastics 3.00 World Championship Snooker 5.30 Big Cat Diary: Family Histories

6.00am GMTV 9.25 Mr Bean: The Animated Series 9.35 Feodor 9.45 Curious George 9.55 Pocoyo 10.05 Jim Jam And Sunny (x2) 10.30 The Championship 11.30 The Sunday Edition With Andrew Rawnsley And Andrea Catherwood 12.30pm Meridian News And Weather 12.35 American Idol 2.35 Bennett’s British Superbike Championship 4.05 Grease Is The Word: Live 5.35 Grease Is The Word Results

6.10am The Hoobs (x2) 7.00 Trans World Sport 7.55 Velux 5 Oceans Ultimate Solo Challenge 8.20 New Shoots: Films From Disabled Directors 8.50 Friends 9.20 Hollyoaks Omnibus 11.50 Shipwrecked 2007: The Hut Cam Diaries 12.20pm Musicool 1.25 Vodafone TBA: Amy Winehouse 1.55 Pussycat Dolls Present: The Search For The Next Pussycat Doll 2.55 The OC 3.55 Ugly Betty 4.55 Deal Or No Deal 5.40 Scrapheap Challenge

6.00am The Save-Ums! 6.10 Fifi And The Flowertots 6.25 Franny’s Feet 6.40 Sailor Sid 6.45 Bird Bath 6.50 Franklin 7.15 Mist: Sheepdog Tales 7.30 Little Princess 7.45 Noddy 8.00 Harry And His Bucket Full Of Dinosaurs (x2) 8.30 The Book Of Pooh 9.00 Ebb And Flo 9.05 Peppa Pig 9.15 Fifi And The Flowertots 9.30 Jane And The Dragon 10.00 Property Developing 11.00 Build A Life In The Country 12.00pm Holiday House Guest 1.00 FILM: Frenchie (1950) 2.30 FILM: Zeppelin (1971) 4.30 News 4.50 FILM: Doctor Dolittle 2 (2001) 6.20 Everybody Hates Chris Rochelle decides to get involved with a neighbourhood watch group and ends up in a competition with new neighbour Louise. Chris asks out a new girl in the neighbourhood, hoping not to get rejected again.

6.45 Everybody Hates Chris Rochelle decides Julius must reduce the stress in his life after he is diagnosed with high blood pressure.

7.10 Joey Joey is on the set of Deep Powder but the fate of his character is still unknown.

7.35 Joey Determined to have a second chance at an audition, Joey bursts back into the audition room asking the producers for one more chance.

8.00 Grey’s Anatomy George begins to overstay his welcome.

9.00 Grey’s Anatomy Izzie grills George.

10.00 FILM: Thelma And Louise (1991) Oscar-winning road movie in which two Arkansas women become fugitives from the law when they take a weekend break from their dull relationships and dead-end lives.

Starring Geen Davis.

12.30am Great BUPA Run Ireland A host of world class distance runners and thousands of fun runners take part in this year’s Great BUPA run in Ireland.

1.05 Major League Baseball 4.30 Major League Soccer

6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 7.00 Football First: Match Choice (x2) 10.00 Jimmy Hill’s Sunday Supplement 11.00 Goals On Sunday 1.00pm LIVE Football League 3.30 Ford Super Sunday 6.30 Super Sunday: The Last Word 7.00 Football League Review 8.00 LIVE Spanish Football 10.00 Ford Football Special 11.30 Super Sunday: The Last Word 12.00am Football League Review 1.00 LIVE WWE Backlash

6.00 Castaway The overstretched resources have to go even further, as a new castaway comes ashore.

6.35 Antiques Roadshow Michael Aspel takes a more detailed look at the stories surrounding some of the objects after they left the Roadshow, including a scrap of paper bearing a few jotted thoughts which turned out to be an important piece of British comedy history.

7.35 BBC News; Weather 8.00 Victoria’s Empire See highlights.

9.00 Superstorm Futuristic drama series which follows a team of scientists as they investigate ways of diverting and weakening storms. The team have inadvertently created a superstorm which is now heading for New York.

10.00 BBC News; Weather 10.15 The BBC One Sessions The artist formerly known as Cat Stevens gives his first full concert in nearly three decades, in an exclusive BBC performance at the Porchester Hall, London.

11.05 3lbs A married woman has a tumour that tricks her body into thinking she is pregnant.

11.45 FILM: Simply Irresistible (1999) Romantic comedy.

1.20am Sign Zone: Antiques Roadshow 2.10 Holby City 3.10 To Buy Or Not To Buy

6.00 Snow Geese In A Mexican Desert 6.10 Natural World The Giant Japanese Hornet is one of the deadliest insects on earth. This film follows the remarkable life of one giant hornet queen, as she builds up a colony in an old temple garden. Her army of warriors will terrorise this mountain valley in their constant struggle to find food for their grubs.

The hornets massacre thousands of bees, although one honeybee has a remarkable defensive strategy.

7.00 World Championship Snooker Live second round action continues at The Crucible. Former champions, Steve Davis and John Parrott, join Ray Stubbs in the studio.

The commentary team is Clive Everton, Dennis Taylor, John Virgo, Willie Thorne, Terry Griffiths and Neal Foulds.

10.00 The Science Of Superstorms Third of three films exploring the science behind the weather modification that informs the BBC1 show..

10.30 Match Of The Day 2 Adrian Chiles presents highlights of the Premiership match between Arsenal and Fulham at the Emirates Stadium.

11.15 Graham Norton Uncut Dustin Hoffman is one of Graham’s guests.

12.00am Roman’s Empire Comedy about a dysfunctional family.

12.30 World Championship Snooker

6.05 10 Years Of Monkey Business 6.30 Meridian News And Weather Latest regional news and weather.

6.45 ITV News; Weather The latest national and international news, plus national weather.

7.00 Emmerdale Hari and Louise go to the police while Bob throws caution to the wind.

7.30 Coronation Street Liam comes clean to Michelle about the murky past of the Connors.

8.00 The Royal Stella struggles to come to terms with her ordeal, while Dr Ormerod deals with a dangerous armed man.

9.00 Kingdom Drama. Aeste, a young woman from Eastern Europe, arrives in distress at Peter’s office.

10.00 ITV News; Weather The latest national and international news, plus national weather.

10.15 This Is David Gest New reality show featuring the jungle survivor at large in a London town house.

11.00 The South Bank Show See highlights.

12.05am The Moral Of The Story Alastair Stewart and a studio panel examine the week’s biggest stories from a moral point of view.

12.30 Faith And Music ‘ 1.20 ITV Play: Glitterball 4.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 5.00 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.40 Shipwrecked 2007: Battle Of The Islands Both tribes pull out all the stops to impress new arrival Kim, including a revealing show from Tiger boy band Reef Shoes. Meanwhile, posh student Francesca reveals her plans to defect to the Sharks after choosing the Tigers at the Sunday Beach Party, and a casket arrives with messages from home for the castaways.

7.40 Channel 4 News Including sport and weather.

8.00 Wife Swap In an explosive episode, a mother-of-five, who dotes on her children and allows them near total freedom, swaps with a strict matriarch who believes adults should have total control over their offspring’s lives.

9.00 TBA 10.00 TBA 11.45 Vodafone TBA: Amy Winehouse Amy Winehouse.

12.30am The JD Set Presents: Birthday Frank Black, Richard Hawley and Guy Garvey get together with some music legends to perform a unique and intimate show in Lynchburg, Tennessee.

1.10 Six Shooter 1.40 Erotomania 2.40 My Other Wheelchair Is A Porsche 2.55 Can’t Stop Eating 3.55 Ozone 4.15 TBA

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Sailing: America’s Cup 7.00 Motor Racing: A1 Grand Prix 9.00 Super League 10.30 LIVE Cricket: Friends Provident Trophy 4.30pm LIVE Cricket: Friends Provident Trophy 6.30 Sky Sports Classics 7.00 Gillette World Sport 7.30 Golf Night 10.00 Sailing: America’s Cup 11.00 Cricket: Friends Provident Trophy 12.00am Golf Night

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Rugby Union 7.30 Spanish Football 9.00 WWE Afterburn 10.00 WWE Heat 11.00 Gillette World Sport 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Wild Spirits 12.30 LIVE Sailing: America’s Cup 1.30 A1 Grand Prix 5.00 LIVE Motor Racing: Indy Car Series 7.30 British Superbikes 11.00 US Superbikes (x2) 1.00am Motor Racing: Indy Car Series

Matt Chittock

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

12.00pm Robot Wars Extreme 1.00 Star Trek: The Next Generation (x2) 3.00 Relic Hunter 4.00 The Simpsons (x8) 8.00 Dream Team 9.00 24 10.00 Lost 11.00 Rescue Me 12.00am The Dresden Files 1.00 Battlestar Galactica (x2) 2.40 Star Trek: The Next Generation (x2) 4.20 Very Worst...

7.30pm Dog Borstal Unleashed 8.00 Doctor Who 8.45 Doctor Who Confidential 9.00 F*** Off I’m Ginger 10.00 The Panic Room 10.55 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps (x2) 12.00am Rush Hour 12.30 F*** Off I’m Ginger 1.25 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps (x2)

7.00pm Legends: Carmen Miranda - Beneath The Tutti Frutti Hat 8.00 The Lost World Of Mitchell And Kenyon 9.00 The Worst Journey In The World 10.00 FILM: Scott Of The Antarctic (1948) 11.45 Frank Hurley: The Man Who Made History 12.45am The Edwardians In Colour

9.25am Movies Now 9.35 Emmerdale Omnibus 12.20pm FILM: Twins (1988) 2.30 Coronation Street Omnibus 4.55 Vernon Kay’s Gameshow Marathon 6.00 American Idol 7.00 American Idol 9.00 Supernatural 10.00 Coronation Street 10.30 FILM: Daylight (1996) 12.40am Deadline (x2)

12.40pm Inspector Morse 2.40 Kevin Whately: Morse And Me 2.45 Inspector Morse 4.45 There’s Something About... Morse 5.45 Kevin Whately: Morse And Me. See highlights. 5.50 Inspector Morse 8.00 Morse At The Royal Albert Hall 9.40 Morse And Me. See highlights 9.45 Inspector Morse 11.55 The John Thaw Story

2.05pm Popworld 2.55 Shipwrecked 2007: Battle Of The Islands 4.00 Friends (x2) 5.00 One Tree Hill 6.00 The OC 7.00 Friends (x2) 8.00 Ugly Betty 9.00 Wife Swap: The Aftermath 9.30 ER 10.30 Desperate Housewives 11.30 One Tree Hill 12.30am Porn: A Family Business (x2) 1.40 Wife Swap: The Aftermath

10.00am Scrapheap Challenge (x5) 3.10pm Time Team 4.10 FILM: Kidnapped (1971) 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 6.55 The Worst Jobs In History 8.00 The West Wing 9.00 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares 10.00 Cutting Edge: Killer Road 11.05 Father Ted (x2) Comedy. 12.10am Sex In The 90s

1.00pm The Bachelor USA 2.00 Wild Weddings 2 3.00 FILM: Police Academy 7: Mission To Moscow (1994) 4.45 The Fix 5.00 Will And Grace (x2) 6.00 Top Chef 7.00 The Real Extras 8.00 Extreme Makeover 9.00 CSI: Miami 10.00 Criminal Minds 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am Most Haunted

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

1.00pm FILM: Junior (1994) 3.05 The Thin Blue Line 3.45 Dinnerladies 4.25 Open All Hours 5.05 Jim’ll Fix It Strikes Again 5.40 TV Now And Then 6.20 Some Mothers Do ’Ave ’Em 7.00 The Thin Blue Line 7.40 Dinnerladies 8.20 Open All Hours 9.00 Dalziel And Pascoe 11.00 Only Fools And Horses

2.00pm King Of Queens (x2) 3.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 4.00 King Of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 King Of Queens (x2) 7.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 8.00 King Of Queens (x2) 9.00 South Park (x2) 10.00 Keith Barret Live 11.35 Edinburgh And Beyond

9.00am The FBI Files (x9) 6.00pm Return Of The Prime Predators 7.00 Deadliest Catch Special 9.00 World’s Lost Tribes 10.00 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls 11.00 Mythbusters 12.00am The FBI Files 1.00 Last Seen Alive 2.00 Forensic Detectives 3.00 World’s Lost Tribes 3.50 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls

6.00am Robot Wars (x2) 8.00 Teleshopping 11.00 Firefly (x8) 6.40pm FILM: Superman III (1983) 9.00 Medium 10.00 Heroes 11.00 Stephen King’s Desperation 12.00am FILM: Dracula II: Ascension (2003) Horror. 1.35 FILM: Galaxy Of Terror (1981) 3.05 Heroes 4.05 The Outer Limits (x2)

7.15am The Men (1950) 8.50 From Here To Eternity (1953) 10.50 Classics Close Up 11.15 Gypsy (1962) 3.30pm From Here To Eternity (1953) 5.30 The Men (1950) 9.00 Gypsy (1962) 11.25 The Pit And The Pendulum (1961) 12.50am The Killing Of Sister George (1968)

2.00pm Apres Vous (2003) 4.00 House Of Flying Daggers (2004) 6.00 China: The Panda Adventure (2001) 6.55 Lords Of Dogtown (2005) 8.45 Lai See (2007) 9.00 House Of Flying Daggers (2004) 11.00 Performance (1970) 1.00am A Home At The End Of The World (2004)

1.00pm Leave Her To Heaven (1946) 3.15 Harriet Craig (1950) 5.05 Operation Amsterdam (1959) 7.15 The Beverly Hillbillies (1993) Comedy remake of the TV show.. 9.00 The Sum Of All Fears (2002) 11.15 Buffalo Soldiers (2001) Black comedy set in the US military. 1.10am Girlfight (2000)

11.00am Mrs Miniver (1942) 1.30pm The Belle Of New York (1952) 3.00 Marlowe (1969) 4.50 Doctor Zhivago (1965) 8.25 Offset: Michael Caine 9.00 Gods And Monsters (1998) 11.00 Classic Shorts Venom 11.15 Classic Shorts - Tokyo Jim 11.25 The Outfit (1973) 1.20am Classic Shorts - Cubs

Classics

Indie

057_LS318_TVmon

4/20/07

10:41 AM

Page 1

monday 30 Million Dollar Pigeon BBC2, 9pm Quirky documentary following British hopefuls on their journey to win the most lucrative pigeon race in the world – the Million Dollar Pigeon race in South Africa. Will competitors Derek from South Wales and Eddie from East London be flying high while ruffling a few feathers, or will the whole thing be a dead duck?

Rich Boys’ Toys: Jets Five, 7.15pm With the Cold War ancient history, many of the planes that would have previously been employed to destroy the West as we know it are now being used as play things by capitalist lackeys. Five looks at the fighters (and even a nuclear bomber) now owned by millionaires with more money than sense.

Ricky Gervais: Politics E4, 10.40pm It may have received some mixed reviews in the press, but most fans agree that Ricky Gervais’s recent Politics tour was a winner.

If you weren’t there, see what all the fuss is about with this document of the live performance. Also includes a look behind the scenes with the comedy fat guy done good.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Found 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.30 Car Booty 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News; Weather 1.30 Regional News And Weather 1.40 Neighbours 2.05 Doctors 2.35 Diagnosis Murder 3.20 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3.25 Lazytown 3.50 The Likeaballs 4.00 Prank Patrol 4.30 Extreme Animals 5.00 Beat The Boss 5.30 Newsround 5.35 Neighbours

6.00am Fimbles 6.20 Story Makers 6.35 Balamory 7.00 Arthur 7.15 ChuckleVision 7.30 Get 100 8.00 Tracy Beaker 8.15 Krypto 8.30 Jackanory 8.40 Numberjacks 9.00 Nina And The Neurons 9.15 Brum 9.25 Me Too! 9.45 Something Special 10.00 Postman Pat 10.15 The Roly Mo Show 10.30 Pathways Of Belief 10.50 Pathways Of Belief 11.10 Social Inclusion 11.50 Internet Guide 12.00pm Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Watch 1.15 Something Special 1.30 World Championship Snooker 5.55 Election Broadcast.

6.00 Eggheads 6.30 Great British Menu Atul Kochhar, a finalist in 2006, faces stiff competition in the form of Stuart Gillies in this battle to represent the South East in the national finals.

7.00 World Championship Snooker The quarter final line-up will soon be complete. Ray Stubbs introduces live action from the remaining second round matches. The commentary team is Clive Everton, Dennis Taylor, John Virgo, Willie Thorne, Terry Griffiths and Neal Foulds.

9.00 Million Dollar Pigeon See highlights.

10.00 Ruddy Hell! It’s Harry And Paul Harry Enfield and Paul Whitehouse star in a sketch show, joined by Morwenna Banks and Laura Solon.

10.30 Newsnight Comprehensive coverage of today’s important national and international news stories.

11.20 World Championship Snooker Ray Stubbs introduces highlights and looks ahead to the quarter finals.

12.10am World Championship Snooker Extra Hazel Irvine introduces second round highlights from The Crucible in Sheffield.

2.00 Eurografters 4.00 Working With The Spanish 4.30 Working With The French

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 2.00 Midsomer Murders 3.00 Half Ton Hospital With Jeremy Kyle 4.00 Daily Cooks 5.00 The Royal

6.10am The Hoobs (x2) 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.25 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.55 Just Shoot Me (x2) 8.55 Frasier (x2) 9.50 Will And Grace 10.15 Without A Trace (x2) 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 TBA 12.55 FILM: Ministry Of Fear (1944) 2.30 Life Begins Again 3.30 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The New Paul O’Grady Show

6.00 Meridian Tonight Local news magazine. Including Meridian weather.

6.25 Party Election Broadcast By The Conservative Party 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather The latest national and international news.

7.00 Emmerdale Laurel’s devastated when she gets some bad news and Bob panics over the christening costs.

7.30 Coronation Street Steve offers Michelle a listening ear and Molly has a novel idea on how to make looking after Vera more fun.

8.00 Road To Ruin: Tonight Britain’s roads are now in such a dangerous condition, experts believe a decade of continuous work is required to mend them.

8.30 Coronation Street Emotions run high in the Rovers when Michelle decides to open up to Steve.

9.00 Taggart When a local activist is found murdered in her flat, the Taggart team suspect a local property developer of foul play.

10.30 ITV News; Weather 11.00 FILM: Total Recall (1990) Sc-fi action.

1.00am UEFA Champions League Weekly Vicky Gomersall and Trevor Harris look ahead to the Champions League semi-final.

1.30 ITV Play: Glitterball 4.03 ITV News Headlines 4.05 ITV At Reading 2005

6.00 The Simpsons When Bart sells his soul to Milhouse for five dollars, strange things start to happen.

6.30 Hollyoaks Zoe comes home from hospital and the other students don’t know how to deal with her.

7.00 Channel 4 News Including sport and weather.

7.55 3 Minute Wonder Three minute spectacular.

8.00 Dispatches Behind-the-scenes investigation into a story yet to hit the headlines.

9.00 Cutting Edge Another edition of the award-winning documentary series.

10.00 ER Drama series set in the busy emergency room of Chicago’s County General hospital.

11.00 The Sopranos Christopher’s new girlfriend announces that she is pregnant as Christopher proposes marriage.

12.00am Sex And The City Girlabout-town comedy. Carrie ponders quitting smoking when she realises it is ruining her chances with her new crush, Aidan.

12.30 Sex And The City 1.00 Six Feet Under 2.00 4 Music: Transmission With T-Mobile 3.00 Dispatches 4.00 Unreported World 4.30 3 Minute Wonder 4.35 Empires Of Stone 5.35 The Mummy Road

6.00am The Save-Ums! 6.10 Fifi And The Flowertots 6.25 Franny’s Feet 6.40 Bird Bath 6.45 Funky Town 6.50 Milkshake! 7.20 Miss Spider’s Sunny Patch Friends 7.30 Little Princess 7.45 Noddy 8.05 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.40 Old Bear Stories 8.50 Mio Mao 9.00 Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 Five News 12.00pm Home And Away 12.30 HouseBusters 1.30 Russell Grant’s Postcards 1.35 FILM: The Belarus File (1985) 3.35 News 3.40 FILM: Mystery Woman (2005) 5.30 News 6.00 Home And Away The lives of Kit and Rachel hang in the balance after a terrible accident. Martha makes a shocking discovery.

6.30 Two And A Half Men Judith goes on holiday and leaves Jake in Charlie’s hands.

7.00 Five News National and international news.

7.15 Rich Boys’ Toys: Jets See highlights.

8.00 Fifth Gear Tom Ford finds out what it’s like to be a paparazzi photographer hot on the trail of celebrities in an unassuming black Kia Cee’d.

9.00 Short Angry Men: Hidden Lives Documentary about men whose height has seriously affected their lives in very different ways.

10.00 Prison Break C-Note gets into a tricky situation when a robber holds up the diner he’s eating in.

11.00 FILM: Get Shorty (1995) Comedy about a loan shark for the Miami mob who, sent to LA to collect a debt from a producer of tacky films, pitches him an idea for a picture instead of breaking his legs - and pretty soon the shark finds himself in his element with predators of the Hollywood variety.

12.55am NASCAR Nextel Cup 1.45 USPGA Golf 2.35 NHL Ice Hockey 5.10 French Football - Le Championnat

6.00am Football League Review 7.00 WWE The Bottom Line 8.00 Ford Football Special 9.30 Super Sunday: The Last Word 10.00 Football League Review 11.00 Spanish Football 1.00pm Ford Football Special 2.30 Super Sunday: The Last Word 3.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 3.30 Ford Football Special 5.00 Super Sunday: The Last Word 5.30 Football League Review 6.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 7.30 LIVE Ford Monday Night Football 10.15 You’re On Sky Sports 11.45 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 12.45am Ford Monday Night Football 2.15 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 3.15 You’re On Sky Sports

6.00 BBC News And Weather The latest news and weather.

6.30 South East Today; Weather Regional news magazine.

7.00 Victoria’s Empire 8.00 EastEnders Bradley comes to a decision about his relationship with Preeti. Billy and Honey disagree over their unborn child. Ian tries to scupper Peggy’s application for a late licence.

8.30 Panorama BBC researcher Hayley Cutts worked as a volunteer in Barnet Hospital in London and St Mary’s Hospital in Manchester, where she met midwives and patients who felt that understaffing and lack of resources were affecting patient care. Jeremy Vine asks why, with NHS spending at an all-time high, women around the country are having dreadful experiences.

9.00 New Tricks An elderly lady’s body is discovered, part consumed by her hordes of cats.

10.00 BBC News; Regional News; Weather 10.35 Not Going Out Sitcom.

11.05 Inside Sport 11.45 FILM: DOA (1988) Remake of the classic 1950 thriller.

1.25am Sign Zone: Ms Dynamite In Search Of Nanny Maroon 2.25 Sleep Clinic 2.55 It’s Not Easy Being Green 3.25 To Buy Or Not To Buy 4.10 Joins BBC News 24

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 On The Edge 7.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 7.30 On The Edge 8.00 Golf Night 10.30 British Superbikes 2.00pm US Superbikes (x2) 4.00 British Superbikes 7.30 LIVE Speedway: Elite League 9.30 On The Edge 10.00 Wild Spirits 10.30 FEI Equestrian World 11.00 Speedway: Elite League 1.00am World Motor Sport

Sky Sports 3 7.00am A1 Grand Prix 9.00 Cricket: Friends Provident Trophy 10.00 Pool 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm On The Edge 12.30 Motor Racing: Indy Car Series 3.00 A1 Grand Prix 5.00 WWE Raw 7.00 FEI Equestrian World 7.30 On The Edge 8.00 NBA Basketball 10.00 WWE Late Night Bottom Line 11.00 WWE Late Night Afterburn 12.00am Extreme Championship Wrestling 1.00 WWE Heat 2.00 WWE Late Night Raw

Matt Chittock

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

12.00pm Stargate SG-1 1.00 Best Of Bones 2.00 Cold Case 3.00 Las Vegas 4.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 6.00 Stargate Atlantis 7.00 The Simpsons (x4) 9.00 Project Runway 10.00 FILM: Footloose (1984) 12.00am Law And Order 1.00 Naked In Blackpool 1.50 So You Think You’re Safe?

7.00pm Castaway 7.30 Spendaholics 8.30 Dog Borstal Unleashed 9.00 Little Britain 9.30 Ideal 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Rob Brydon’s Annually Retentive 11.00 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps (x2) 12.00am American Dad (x2) 12.45 Rob Brydon’s Annually Retentive

7.00pm An Awfully Big Adventure 7.50 Diary Of A Nobody: Shorts 8.00 The World 8.30 The Phoenix And The Carpet 9.00 The Double Life Of Saki 10.00 Smiley’s People 11.00 Time Shift: Spy Stories 12.00am The Double Life Of Saki 1.00 Legends: Carmen Miranda - Beneath The Tutti Frutti Hat

3.00pm The Ricki Lake Show 3.50 Sally Jessy Raphael 4.40 Airline USA 5.10 Airline USA 5.40 Judge Judy 6.55 Grease Is The Word 8.30 Grease Is The Word Results 9.00 FILM: Daylight (1996) 11.10 Coronation Street (x2) 12.10am FILM: The Hand That Rocks The Cradle (1992) 2.20 Glitterball

12.55pm Mapp And Lucia 2.00 Never The Twain 2.30 Tales Of The Unexpected 3.00 Cagney And Lacey 4.00 Pie In The Sky 5.05 Quantum Leap 6.05 Rising Damp 6.40 Film File 6.50 Lovejoy 8.00 Rising Damp 8.30 Rising Damp 9.00 FILM: See No Evil, Hear No Evil (1989) 11.05 Bad Girls 12.05am Lovejoy

1pm Will Ferrell Or Won’t He? 2.00 Switched 2.25 One Tree Hill 3.25 The OC 4.30 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 The War At Home 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 FILM: Domestic Disturbance (2001) 10.40 Ricky Gervais: Politics. See highlights 12.20am Scrubs (x2) 1.15 The OC

2.00pm ER (x2) 4.00 FILM: Trouble Along The Way (1953) 6.00 3 Minute Wonder: Mouthing Off 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs Abroad 8.00 More4 News 8.30 The Daily Show Global Edition 9.00 Relocation, Relocation 10.00 Mark Of Cain 11.50 NYPD Blue 12.50am The Daily Show

12.55pm The Fix 1.00 Will And Grace (x2) 2.00 Bewitched (x2) 3.00 Close To Home 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 The X Files 8.00 Top Chef 9.00 Extreme: Skinny Celebrities 3 10.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (x2) 12.00am The X Files 1.00 Extreme: Skinny Celebrities

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

12.00pm Dallas 1.00 The Inspector Lynley Mysteries 3.00 Dalziel And Pascoe 5.00 Dallas (x2) 7.00 My Family (x2) 8.20 My Family 9.00 Only Fools And Horses 10.30 One Foot In The Grave 11.10 Men Behaving Badly 11.50 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps 12.30am One Foot In The Grave

4.00pm King Of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Less Than Perfect (x2) 7.00 Scrubs (x2) 8.00 That 70s Show (x2) 9.00 Stacked (x2) 10.00 Sex And The City 10.35 South Park 11.05 South Park 11.35 The World Stands Up 12.05am The World Comedy Tour: Melbourne 2003

2.00pm The FBI Files 3.00 Forensic Detectives 4.00 Time Team 5.00 How It’s Made (x2) 6.00 American Chopper Special 7.00 Mythbusters 8.00 How Do They Do It? 8.30 How It’s Made 9.00 American Chopper 10.00 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls 11.00 Salvage Squad 12.00am The FBI Files

12.00pm Farscape 1.00 Star Trek 2.00 The Lost World 3.00 FILM: Combustion (2004) 5.00 Tru Calling 6.00 The Lost World 7.00 Roswell 8.00 Tru Calling 9.00 Medium 10.00 Heroes 11.00 FILM: Post Impact (2004) 12.55am FILM: Retroactive (1997) 2.55 Heroes 4.00 Profiler

11.00am Modern Times (1936) 12.30pm The Ipcress File (1965) 2.30 Monsieur Verdoux (1947) 4.40 The Great Dictator (1940) 6.50 Private Life Of Sherlock Holmes (1970) 9.00 The Ipcress File (1965) 11.00 A Lovely Way To Die (1968) 12.50am Tales Of Terror (1962)

12.00pm The Sea Inside (2004) 2.10 Garden State (2004) 4.00 Les Diaboliques (1955) 6.00 The Sea Inside (2004) 8.05 China’s Hollywood 9.00 Garden State (2004) 10.45 5 X 2: Cinq Fois Deux (2004) 12.30am The Top 10 Show 12.50 Love, Etc (1996) 2.50 China’s Hollywood

1.00pm It Should Happen To You (1953) 2.40 The Wicked Lady (1945) 4.50 Storm Over The Nile (1955) 6.55 Bogus (1996) 9.00 Charlotte Gray (2001) Wartime drama. 11.15 Dead Man’s Shoes (2002) Violent drama with Shane Meadows behind the lens.

12.55am Tell Them Who You Are (2002)

11.00am The Adventures Of Don Juan (1948) 1.00pm Butterfield 8 (1960) 3.00 The Man Who Came To Dinner (1942) 5.15 Kissin’ Cousins (1964) 7.00 Ziegfeld Follies (1945) 9.00 Get Carter (1971) 11.10 Sweet Bird Of Youth (1962) 1.20am Rogue Cop (1954) 3.00 Crossroads (1942) 4.45 Teleshopping

Classics

Indie