Latest 7 Issue 320: 8-14 May 2007 by Latest Homes

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5/4/07

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www.latest7.co.uk

latest

Cars The weekly listings and TV guide 8–14 May 2007 FREE

fringe benefits gosh! it’s the brighton festival fringe

£14,490

£6,990 from tempest4cars see page 4

latest

jobs highly paid professional positions art gallery assistant brighton

carry on camping innuendo at the udderbelly

see page 53

lettings co-ordinator hove

classically entertained music for refined tastes personal touch wedding jewellery for every bride

see page 52

open at the

udderbelly

pasture bar from 12.30 daily

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latest 7 5 Cars

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contents 23 Food

Beware the optional extras on your motor that leave you out of pocket

Dining at Okini Pan-Asian Restaurant

25 Latest hot list 7 What Katie says

Our top restaurants, cafés and bars

Katie gets pleasure with wish lists

27 Recipe 8 Eminemmylou

The delights of Cooking With Chimineas

Call Me: Portraits Lit By A Mobile Phone

The Poet In Me by Steve Baggs

28 Cinema 8 Dani’s diary

The low-down on the latest screenings

Fringe fun

Dani feels guilty eyeing up another guy

30 Music 8 Backlash

Devo’s big gig and local music news

The misery of changing health trends

32 Radio Reverb 10 Celebcity

We give you the low-down on the Brighton Festival Fringe

Connecting people by the forces of radio

Brighton actor Jason Hughes gets up close with Heather Graham

32 Foxy Mamma Malone Baby secrets no one tells you

11 Competitions Win a fantastic Magners Experience

33 Nightlife Club events and late night bars

11 Crossword Cryptic or quick? The choice is yours

34 Gay The latest news and events with 3sixty

12 Bare cheek What’s in, comedy made-up jobs and looking back in ‘I remember...’

35 Theatre Cuss The World and Robin Cousins in Paul: Strange Kind Of Hero

12 Stars Finding thanks in the star signs

37 Events and kids Sewer tours and a top young chef

13 Stand-up comedy Bank holidays leave more time for fun

39 Art Trafford Parsons’ monster creations

13 Marc the vet Falcons soar at Sussex Heights

41 Latest listings The hottest tickets for the week ahead

14 Udderbelly Must-see shows at Brighton’s extraordinary upside-down purple cow

16 Fringe Festival

42 Reviews Casting a critical eye over recent shows

43 Day-by-day guide

Festival fever where anything goes

16 Brighton Festival

Our complete guide to local events

50 Venue directory

The Dome gets classical

Find your venue with our handy guide to complement our listings

18 Jewellery Stunning finds for your wedding day with Baroque Bespoke Jewellery

21 Health

51 Latest jobs Highly paid professional positions

54 Latest TV

Ancient treatment for modern illnesses

Complete television listings guide, must-see TV movies and Dani on TV

01273 818150 Editor Bill Smith Business Director Angi Mariani Creative Director Andrew Kay Production Director Fiona McTernan Finance Manager Sharon Caple Art Director Stephen King Production Manager Neil Ive Website Manager Paul Burgess Production Editor Victoria Nangle Production Assistant Zara Friend

Chief Sub-editor Wendy McAngus Senior Sub-editor Philippa Smith Sub-editors Ashley Bird Hayley Carmichael Viv Craske Joe Curtin Hugh Farmar Billy Imrie Anita Wilkinson Designers Anand Day Peter Knight Jamie Powell Steve Sawyer Music Editor Jeff Hemmings

Staff Writers Matt Chittock Craig Driver Katie Glass Dani Winch Advertising Director Lynne Edwards Advertising Manager Kate Knight Advertising Sales Marie Viviani Administration Heather Holland Claire Peerless Stefan Reszczynski Latest Homes Unit 1, Level 5 North New England House New England Street Brighton BN1 4GH

Editorial: editorial@thelatest.co.uk Advertising: lynne@thelatest.co.uk

A lovely present inside Latest 7 today, is your free guide to all that’s happening in the Festival: The Three Weeks Guide is produced by the coolest and most incisive people in the UK (we reckon!), letting us know what they think about all the festival shows. Check out the guide and see what they measure as hot. There will be three weeks worth of guides, produced in association with Latest 7, so look out for more reviews on 15 and 22 May too. We’ve given you our top tips over recent weeks, including the exciting Artists’ Open Houses, open weekends throughout May. Also we recommend the amazing Udderbelly, the bright purple cow tent now officially standing (upside-down) at the Old Steine in Brighton and hosting a range of events, such as the jaw-dropping Caesar Twins, the funny Yarnbards, the heroic Bacchic, and the heart-stirring, This Way For The Gas, Ladies & Gentlemen. See the Udderbelly brochure for details or contact the box office on 01273 709709. Holly Payton, the girl in the know, and one of the energetic team who makes it all happen at the Brighton Festival Fringe has given us her recommendations for getting the most out of the Festival. “For amazing events check out our favourite venues: Udderbelly, Komedia, Marlborough, Nightingale, Friends’ Meeting House, Brighton Media Centre, Joogleberry, New Venture, I could go on…” she says. “Be brave and take a risk! The Fringe brings in such a huge range of events that this is a chance to try something new and unusual. Explore events by booking something totally random. With so much going on there’s not always the time to wait for reviews or friends’ recommendations. “At the end of a night there are many options for after-show activities. Joogleberry has a late bar, the Komedia studio is perfect for a chill out, or go all out and find yourself on the dancefloor in the Udderbelly at the festival’s club venue. “If you need to relax before heading to the shows, then switch on Brighton’s cool new radio station, Radio Reverb on 97.2FM and listen to Latest Soup every day from 4–6pm, bringing you up to the minute news and chat from the city. “Oh, and another thing… For something a little bit different, pop along to Call Me: Portraits Lit By A Mobile Phone, from now until 11 June at Blanch House, Atlingworth Street, Brighton. Acclaimed photographer Kevin Mason, aka DarkDaze, has produced a unique exhibition of exactly what it says on the tin: portraits lit by a mobile phone.” See www.darkdaze.org/callme for more information latest 7 3

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CARS

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CARS

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Optional despair Be careful in your choices of optional extras when buying a new car, says Simon Asphar. The wrong ones could cost you a packet on its used value Motorists should take more care with the options they fit to their new cars, as making the right decision could improve used values by hundreds of pounds, according to a Manheim Auctions survey. Worryingly, making the wrong decision can cost drivers literally thousands. Manheim, which has 19 auction sites across the UK, quizzed nearly 100 of its top used car buyers for their views on the impact of optional extras on the second-hand values of cars in the family, compact executive and executive car sectors. Desirable options, now expected on virtually all types of car include leather, metallic paint and a decent sound system. Satellite navigation is increasingly sought after and healthy premiums are paid for cars with this as a factory-fitted option. Not surprisingly it’s the luxury cars in the executive sector which are most sensitive to the right specification. There is a huge price reduction for having the wrong gearbox – the survey showed that having a manual transmission on larger executive cars is highly undesirable and can reduce values by as much as £2,500. The mantra for drivers is that well-specified new cars can help reduce rather than increase a car’s overall cost of ownership, which heavily influences future used values. That’s quite often the reason why professional contract hire companies provide luxury cars such as BMWs and Mercedes with free metallic paint, as they will see the benefits at the back end of the contract in better used prices. Commenting on the research, Rob Barr, Manheim’s group communications director said: “This research simply reflects what trade buyers think, and it’s these guys who really determine the price of used cars. The message is simple – motorists should ignore options at their peril when buying their next

new car. They may be lucky and get it right, but if they get it wrong they’ll suffer the financial consequences.” Used car buyers also said that the wrong colour paint can also make a car so unpopular that they wouldn’t even bid on it at auction, especially one in a solid rather than a metallic paint finish. Nearly all buyers agreed that after-market options fitted during a car’s life may add some value but nothing like that of factory-fitted options.

“The survey showed that having a manual transmission on larger executive cars can reduce values by £2,500” Two years ago EurotaxGlass’s reported that black had overtaken silver as the most popular colour for prestige-brand used cars. Now the publisher of Glass’s Guide says the premium being paid for metallic or even solid black paint has risen to unprecedented levels – up to £500 more than for any other colour on selected used vehicles after one year and 12,000 miles. “Forecourt asking prices for prestige models in black are typically several hundred pounds higher, and exceptional retail demand means customers are much less able to negotiate a discount,” explains Richard Crosthwaite, prestige car editor at EurotaxGlass’s. “We are consequently seeing a significant difference in transaction prices for

black prestige cars compared to those finished in the next most popular colours.” Lower-value prestigebrand vehicles, such as compact executive saloons (for example the BMW 3 Series, Mercedes C-Class), will typically have premiums of £250 for black paint. On larger models, such as SUVs (like the Audi Q7, BMW X5) and large luxury cars (such as the Audi A8, BMW 7 Series), buyers can expect to pay £500 extra. “While the prestige market generally favours muted colours, there are exceptions,” adds Crosthwaite. “For example, vibrant colours – notably solid red – are less likely to have a negative impact on residual values in the sports car segment, as buyers accept it as being in keeping with the character of the car. However, on larger prestige saloons, solid red paint is no longer even available as a standard option, and on a compact executive model you could expect a residual value penalty of £1,000 after just one year.” Despite media reports to the contrary, Crosthwaite adds that white is continuing to prove highly unpopular on most prestige-brand cars. “Unless you are the owner of a niche Porsche 911, such as the GT3 derivative, white is still very detrimental to a prestige-brand car’s value. On most prestige saloons – regardless of size – the penalty is around £1,500, and on SUVs this increases to £2,500.” Looks like Amy Winehouse was one step ahead of us – Back to Black was a fortuitous title for her chart-topping CD. I always thought she was a wise old soothsayer.

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KATIE’S COLUMN

What Katie says Katie finds a new obsession, which spawns a dangerous new way to shop…

Lists of fury Recently, I have become obsessed with lists. Lists I have made this week: • People I intend to snog • Things I own but don’t want, so will sell on eBay • Karaoke songs I am good at • People I will invite to my birthday party • Songs to include on the mixtape I’m making for the boy I’m in love with this week • Novelty restaurants I shall try to blag freebies from • Chapter titles for the book I will never find the time to write • Thing to achieve before I turn 26. Next week. In addition to the more pragmatic lists in my life, in the kitchen I keep a magic blackboard, which I

believe to yield any item listed on it. Among the chalky dreams currently scribbled over it are: • Get a job at The New York Times • Find a phone company willing to give me a contract • Get my bedroom tidied • Get some filthy red high heels I can’t walk in That last one, thanks to my noble patron, is crossed off. Lists are brilliant things. They bring some glimmer of order to my scrappy, scruffy life. Crossing

“Crossing off items, one by one gives me an almost sexual pleasure”

Image: Chris Ashfield

off listed items, one by one, like jumped hurdles, gives me an almost sexual pleasure. Lists provide the visual proof that I am doing something with my life. Now, imagine my joy this week when I discovered Amazon’s Wish Lists. Mmmmmm. Amazon – how did you read my mind? And just in time for my birthday too! So, I’ve spent the past week floating around Amazon’s ethereal shelves like a virtual kleptomaniac, piling my imaginary basket high with all the books I’ve never read but always claimed I had. Day by day my Amazonian Wish List grows ever longer, and so too does the scope of my desire, because Amazon’s Wish Lists are as dangerous as they are delightful. For every book I choose, another is recommended to me, in a vicious list-increasing cycle destined to go on for ever. “You like Kerouac?” Asks Amazon, as I tick the box for On The Road, “Why, then you’ll love Burroughs!” So I add Naked Lunch to my wish list. And then Junky. “What about The Soft Machine?” coos Amazon. Oh go on then, I think. And so on it goes. But as my list gets longer and longer I’m ever more aware that something is wrong. Amazon, the friendly face of capitalism, has sneakily changed the nature of my lists – from things I really want, from challenges, plans and achievements, to idle consumerism borne of the feeling I can never get enough. By the end of the week, I decide I don’t like Amazon. It has turned my lists from achievable entities that make me feel clever into empty and impossible dreams that aren’t even mine. Instead of encouraging me to set goals for myself, Amazon seems to revel in pointing out how futile my efforts are. Amazon, perhaps like capitalism itself, may be the Wish List that keeps on giving, but ultimately it yields nothing at all. PS: Interested parties can find my Amazon birthday Wish List at www.amazon.co.uk under ‘Katie Glass’. :-D

Dear Katie Re: Back to black Enough with the PC bollocks. Sorry to say, but as a black woman, I did not find Naomi Campbell’s punishment in the least bit offensive. For years she has been getting away with treating people like utter crap (I know this first hand). Naomi has humiliated so many people: those in her inner circle and those that have looked up to her and seen her as a role model. Thank goodness someone in their right mind has had the guts to do the same to her. Naomi needed this reality check because she lives in a world where she thinks happy slapping is the norm. And it’s not.

Shameless plug Every now and again a book comes along that seems so much like it was made for Brighton, it’s almost cackling in our faces. Introducing Paul Burston’s latest novel: Lovers and Losers. Back in the 80s – the decade that taste forgot – when it was acceptable to have a mullet, Krazy Color your hair and wear dayglo in the sunshine, a boy-girl duet rose to fame. Lovers and Losers is published by Little, Brown, £6.99

Comments, queries and general chitchat can be sent to: katie@thelatest.co.uk

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THE RHYME

Eminemmylou The UK’s first and only rap and spoken-word column. This week featuring Steve Baggs The poet within a poet has rhymed for us again Getting beat up like jack kerouac, both zany and zen “Pull my daisy, tip my cup... cut my thoughts for coconuts... Hop my heart on, harp my height... hip my angel, hype my light”

The poet in me I’ve got a poet stuck in my throat. He’s coughing up rhythm, and he’s coughing up rhyme. I’m feeling villanelle most of the time. I’ve got words blistering all over me. It’s like swallowing a rhyming dictionary. I can’t eat anything but poetry. I’ve had four books already for my tea. I’m nasal like John Cooper Clarke. The ring poems around my eyes are dark. I’ve tried an anti-poetic lotion, But now my stomach feels like Its going to have an Andrew Motion. I’ve got writer’s blocked nose. Iambic pentameter throbbing in all five toes. I’m dressing like Betjeman, and drinking like Byron. But most of the time, I’m feeling like Larkin! Send rhymes and a pic to: eminemmylou@thelatest.co.uk

The backlash starts here Annette Wendt hates trendy health kicks Health trends make me sick. They give false hope, boast outlandish results, then leave us deflated. I realise many of you are probably engaging one or more of these trendy regimes and no doubt feeling the benefit, but the initial euphoria is invariably short-lived. Aren’t you the same lot who three years ago were spouting the efficacy of ‘hot yoga’ and two years previously, my particular favourite, the stupefying ‘step aerobics’? Why the sweaty hell didn’t you just stay home and run up and down the stairs? These trends are by nature ephemeral. At the time of writing, Pilates is looking decidedly old hat compared with sexy new girotonics. Every boot sale reveals this sorry secret of failed-hopes-for-better-health in the form of unwanted exercise bikes, over-sized beach balls and over-ambitious dumbbells. Every discarded chest expander tells a painful story, every Thigh Master represents a broken dream, or worse, a broken inner thigh. The same is true of food fads. It all smacks of quackery. The cabbage soup and Atkins diets have disappeared like a fart on the breeze. If we took on board every pearl of wisdom cultivated by women’s mags and morning television, we’d be rattling with the accumulative content of berries (every

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EMOTIONS

Dani’s diary Dani’s in a lather over the man in the Aero advert, but feels guilty even looking Are us heterosexual ladies lucky or what? The new Aero advert – the one with Jason Lewis from Sex And The City – has us all dribbling. That is unless we are watching the TV with our partners and it pops on to our screens, when we have to try our best to keep our mouths from falling open! It makes a change for us girlies having something to look at. For as long as I can remember the women on our TV screens have always been the pick of the crop – the elite few who represent what is considered attractive to that generation – and the men were either ‘funny’ or ‘sweet’. But now, we are getting something back. Everywhere you look there are girls, girls, girls, girls. Just look at MTV. Nearly every music video has half a dozen girls in skirts too short, dancing up against poles, but the boys in the videos are less than appealing. So, having spent too long sitting next to our significant others while images of arses, boobs and air-brushed unrealistic beauty are flashed on our screens, it’s time for us to have a bit of fun.

“Why do we feel so naughty just looking at a guy on the TV?” But have you noticed that we feel bad for looking at the image of this gorgeous man on TV? We feel slightly guilty for even glimpsing him, while on many other occasions we haven’t been able to hold down a conversation with our partners without them looking away to see what’s tempting them from the TV, on the bus or in the supermarket. Why do we feel so naughty just looking at a guy on the TV? Why do we feel like we have to look away, in case we offend anyone? Apparently, it’s healthy to look at other people, playing out fantasies in your head. Supposedly, it stops you acting them out in life. So why do us girls have this view? Why do we get a little bit hurt (but ignore it) when our other half looks in the direction of a leggy blonde? And then, when we look – intentionally or not – at someone of the opposite sex why do we never hear the end of it? I’ve been in relationships when the other half doesn’t even notice where I’m looking and I’ve been in relationships when the other half notices too much. I couldn’t tell you which irritated me more. But if it’s healthy, why do we all get so upset when we witness our other half’s wandering gaze? If you’re like me, you will take notice of who they are looking at and think about all the things that person might have that you don’t and then you end up trying so hard to be all the people they notice that you lose sight of yourself. I can’t believe the Aero advert has been the subject of a whole column for me, but the man in the advert is gorgeous and each time I write that I feel guilty. I’m not sure if I should feel that or not. At least I’m being honest about it. Let’s make a pact, girls: just like the boys, we will look and enjoy it while it lasts! variety especially cranberry, blue and acai), pomegranate, kiwi, flaxseed (oil and seed), avocado, quinoa, pumpkin seeds, (oh sod it, every seed) nori seaweed, ginseng, green tea extract, milk thistle... I’ll just stop now because the point of this rant is that this list is actually endless! My argument is that if we’ve learned anything from this charade, it’s that a little bit of everything does you good. Going overboard Gillian McKeith-style will make you a stressed-out health freak or, equally life depleting, repel you into becoming a confirmed couch potato and junk-food addict.

“Every boot sale reveals this sorry secret of failed hopes for better health” No single exercise routine will solve the problem of obesity. No one berry, whether it hails from our humble hedgerows or the darkest depths of the rainforest, will cure our ills. There is no panacea. Let’s just enjoy life. To my mind, exercise equals half an hour every day of doing anything physical you love, by that I mean anything that makes you move and leaves you glowing. Running along the seafront is my choice and it costeth nothing. Eat well, but we all know the rules, if it tastes absolutely bloody marvellous it’s probably crap so don’t cane it. Lastly, it might be contentious but I believe if you eat too much, are fat and love it and if you think beauty is in the pie of the beholder, then don’t make yourself miserable in the pursuit of physical perfection. Life’s too short. And so’s Gillian McKeith.

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AROUNDTOWN

Sponsored by

Banyan to rights Andrew Kay gets a new taste experience at Okini in Brighton If, like me, you are of an age where nouvelle cuisine is a horrid and hungry blot on your culinary memory you will probably have an aversion to overly fiddled-with dolly portions of food. OK, they may be prime and expensive ingredients and, yes, it does look lovely, but half an hour later you don’t half need another one. I spent a few years lunching in smart restaurants and then calling in for a sandwich on the way back to the office. It was a clever movement, and let’s face facts, a good way for businesses to increase margins. The clever ones, of course, would not only have served Lilliputian food to diners but also bought a sandwich shop close by to mop up that profit. I do like my food to look nice on the plate though, and I had a good idea that Okini was going to do that. What I had not expected was the vast palette of colours, flavours and textures that they would employ, nor was I expecting to be quite so full. We started with two favourite dishes. Mr C chose salt-and-pepper squid which came in a cornet of woven banyan leaf (more of them later). The squid was piping hot and the dry dressing a zingy blend of salt and chilli. I had the same dish on the same site in a previous restaurant years ago, with the much-missed Pete McCarthy, but this was better – in taste and presentation. My soft-shell crab was fabulous, big and crispy, full of soft and funky flesh that tasted of the sea, of real crab and not the sweet blandness of white crab meat. Alongside came a timbale of crab tartare. God it was good, so good that I ate it very slowly indeed. The spicing was expertly handled. Our generous host also furnished us with a plate of marvellous scallops on a lime-leaf-infused mash with confit mushrooms and blue potato chips. Another big wow – loads of effort but worthwhile given the succulent quality of the shellfish involved. I could have left happy at that point but there was more, so much more.

distance. The wine list, too, is first class with sensible house wines as well as some great top-end choices. It may sound like an expensive night out, and given how much we ate I would be the first to admit that it was. But we did get the royal treatment. We could have eaten less and been very happy, and there are a great set menu offers that do not read like poor people’s choices. We will certainly be back with friends very soon. Okini Pan-Asian Restaurant, 70 East Street, Brighton. Call 01273 779933 or see www.okini-restaurant.co.uk

Passionate about property, fanatical about food 59 Church Road, Hove 01273 735237 www.callaways.co.uk

“I’m not really a lobster fan but I would certainly order this dish again” In true banquet style our next course arrived, a lobster, Golden Sands lobster to be precise. It too was a picture, a slightly surreal one. The flesh had been removed, crumbed, fried and dusted with spices. A pillar of crisp white noodles stood to the side ready to be dipped into a sweet-sour sauce. Methi leaves had also been deep-fried and sprinkled about. It was pretty amazing stuff. I’m not really a lobster fan but I would certainly order this dish again. On then to a tiny sorbet of tropical fruits, nice, if perhaps a bit too sweet to cleanse, but certainly refreshing. Unlike your average oriental food, dishes here are perhaps not designed for sharing so we chose carefully. Mr C opted for belly pork which arrived in a thick disc, cooked long and slow until it surrendered to the merest wave of a fork. I chose a dish of monkfish in a galangal flower sauce served in a yam basket with a bean curd sail. The fish was great, and there was more than enough of it, but the sauce was epic, a vibrant yellow in colour, rich and creamy but with a taste sensation I was virgin to. Galangal flowers, it turns out, are so delicate that our host’s grandmother crops, dries and sends them to him from Malaysia. I want some, and despite almost bursting from eating, I could not stop eating this deliciously strange dish. Our host joined us for a plate of braised brisket, a favourite Chinese dish of mine but here executed with the same panache and wit. I tasted it and it was better than good, it too was great. On the side, as if we needed them, we had great noodles, intensely herb-flavoured rice and fried bak choi, all first class. I never get to puds in oriental restaurants because they tend to disappoint, a factor that our host is well aware of, which is why the offerings tend to be Eastern takes on Western classics. Mr C had a coconut crème brûlée that really did make sense. I had a banyan iced parfait. Now banyan leaves are long, dark green and could not look less edible. They do, however, impart an addictively odd flavour – grassy, herbal, tea-like? I’m not sure, just rather good. Both puddings also had very well executed biscuits, both different, a sign of real skills in this kitchen. Coffee was good and the whole experience left us inspired and happy. It’s rather nice to see an oriental kitchen fighting back at the vagaries of Pacific rim cooking, with a Western slant on the traditional flavours of the Far East. I loved the style of the place. The room is amazing with a wall of bright red glass that stretches far into the

New Exciting Menus Dinner Menu (3 course) £25.00 Sunday to Thursday 6pm till close ~~~~~

Lunch Menu (2 course) £11.95 Sunday to Friday 12pm to 5pm Or choose from our à la Carte menu ~~~~~ Please visit our web site to view menus

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FOOD & DRINK

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INDIAN Nooris Indian Cuisine

Sevendials Restaurant

One of Brighton’s longest-standing Indian restaurants and justifiably so. Smart service and a menu that, as well as offering all our favourite dishes, has some interesting and unusual dishes on offer. Great central location just off the seafront. Portions are on the very generous side so order carefully. We have always been particularly impressed by the vegetarian menu, especially the malai kupta. Excellent breads and side dishes too. £6.95 for a twocourse meal and £11.95 for a three-course meal with wine. 70 Ship Street, Brighton 01273 329405

LIST RESTAURANTS & BARS

RESTAURANTS

ITALIAN Donatello

BRITISH AND MODERN EUROPEAN Bardsley’s Probably Brighton’s most popular fish and chip shop and restaurant with a large loyal clientele. Totally traditional and family-run with all your favourites, but also an excellent blackboard of daily fish specials. They’re open for lunch and dinner Tuesday to Saturday and it’s also a great party venue. There are massive fish platters and good seasonal seafood. Fish can be fried, grilled or poached, plus vegetarian choices. 22–23a Baker Street, Brighton, 01273 681256

Blanch House The restaurant at Blanch House is an inhouse affair. All involved are dedicated to excellence in food, service and wines but with no pretensions. You can sit back and take pleasure in the relaxed atmosphere of dinner at your best friend’s house while enjoying innovative food, attentive and personal service, and superb wine and cocktail lists. The menu changes with the seasons and availability to ensure that only the freshest high-quality produce is used. Meat, dairy products and other ingredients are locally sourced and organic where possible. Fish is from the local day boats when available. 17 Atlingworth Street, Brighton, 01273 603504, www.blanchhouse.co.uk

Café Belge Café Belge offers award-winning food (Café Belge Eastbourne received a gold star for food from the prestigious Harden’s Guide 2006) – 50 ways to eat a fresh mussel, salmon fishcakes, award-winning 12” wild boar and beer sausage, fresh sea bass, steak Béarnaise, Toblerone fondue, Belgian waffles – just to give you an insight into what to expect. They also stock more than 100 beers all served in their own glasses, from light and delicious fruit beers to Trapist Monk beers to Belgian Guinness as well as a fine wine list. 64 Kings Rd (corner of West St & seafront), 01273 733290, www.cafebelge.co.uk

The Coach House Friendly restaurant bar in the city centre serving an excellent range of hearty homecooked food, separate evening and lunch menus, and always a selection of roasts on Sunday. Great mussels, steaks, soups and a good wine list. In the winter a central open fire roars, in summer people soak up the late sun on the pretty terrace. The warm atmosphere and good value pricing make this a popular local haunt. 59 Middle Street, Brighton, 01273 719000 www.coachhousebrighton.com

The Gourmet Fish & Chip Company The Gourmet Fish and Chip Company at Brighton Marina has taken the dish into the 21st century. Diners can enjoy fantastic top-grade fish and chips in a trendy diner environment and even enjoy a beer while they wait for their takeaway order. Check out the gourmet fish platter and lunch-time specials. The restaurant is located on the ground-floor level of the waterfront and is open seven days a week. Fully licensed. The Walk of Fame, 18 Waterfront, Brighton Marina, 01273 670701 www.gourmetfishandchipcompany.com

New Steine Bistro Cosy French bistro with regular art exhibitions creating the perfect setting for the appreciation of traditional homemade French cuisine either with friends or for a romantic night out. A hidden gem in the heart of Kemp Town, and very reasonable too! With its daily evening menu at £10.50 weekdays and £14.50 Friday and Saturday. A la carte menu Tuesday to Saturday 6pm to 10pm for last orders. Available for all celebrations and party bookings with tailormade menu to your needs including live entertainment. 12a New Steine, Brighton, 01273 681546 reservation@newsteinehotel.com www.newsteinehotel.com

Polar Bar East The Polar East is pleased to introduce the new spring/summer menu. Freshly cooked British and European food using locally sourced produce. Great local atmosphere. Beer garden with barbecue. Main meals from £3. All meat is supplied by Brampton's Premium Butchers. 8 St George’s Road, Kemp Town, Brighton, 01273 683334

Ruby Tate’s Situated at the heart of cosmopolitan Kemp Town, Ruby Tate’s oyster and champagne bar really is the pearl of Brighton. From moules marinière to lobster Thermidor, this is a paradise for seafood lovers. The restaurant’s stylish décor and trademark friendly service ensure that diners enjoy the gourmet food and fine champagne in a relaxed, informal atmosphere. 40 St James’s Street, Brighton, 01273 693251

Sevendials Restaurant A smart restaurant in so many ways, excellent food and a sensible variety of menus in chic surroundings. Chef Sam runs a team of food-lovers who deliver time after time, from a simple lunch to a full à la carte dinner. Cooking reflects the seasons rather than fashion, and quality is paramount, with great locally caught fish, game in season and desserts that are a delight plus a wine list that is full of treats without being expensive too. Make the most of the terrace while the weather is warm or the private dining room for a treat. 1 Buckingham Place, Brighton, 01273 885555 www.sevendialsrestaurant.co.uk

The Terraces Bar, Grill and Dining Room Terraces bar and grill offers customers a relaxed approach to drinking, eating and hospitality. The lower level is available for private parties, wedding receptions, corporate events, Christmas parties, formal dinners or product launches. Whatever you want, you can be sure of an experience as consistently satisfying as the breathtaking views across Brighton seafront. Madeira Drive, Brighton, 01273 570526, www.the-terraces.co.uk

GREEK Symposio Greek Taverna In a city with very few Greek eateries it’s great to find somewhere warm and inviting to indulge in some Greek food. From magnificent mezze to classic grilled meats, Symposio has a great taverna atmosphere and the lively style of the venue adds a great ambience to what can be a terrific party venue. Also fabulous for a romantic dinner, family outing or business meal. The moussaka is a must and also the deep red wine-soaked sausages and crisp calamari. 121 Western Road, Hove 01273 779474 www.ipanemarestaurants.com

The flagship venue of this local family-run business serving excellent-value Italian food in stylish and spotless surroundings. It is popular with locals in the week but at the weekend it draws an audience from London. There are brilliant-value meal deals on blackboards outside – two courses £6.95, three £8.95 – as well as à la carte. The haunt of celebs in season from soap stars to politicos. Fun, friendly and fabulous value. Brighton Place, Brighton, 01273 775477, www.donatello.co.uk

Fat Leo Supposedly the budget branch of the Donatello stable but you’d be hard-pressed to see why. Once again, quality family dining in the Italian mould but a little less expensive. Very popular with students and families with young children, Fat Leo has trendy interiors, including the toilets, and a menu that is utterly affordable with the company’s signature set-price boards proclaiming any two courses £5.95, any three courses £7.95. 16–17 Market Street, Brighton, 01273 325135

LATIN AMERICAN Las Iguanas Brazilian cooking has come to town and with it all the fun of the caipirinha. Spicy, fun and inexpensive, this Latin newcomer is already proving popular, especially the two-for-one cocktail deals and an excellent £7 two-course lunch menu. Whacky interiors and a cool cocktail bar give the place a carnival feel all the time and the staff are friendly and fun too. If you don’t know what cachaca is, then it’s time to find out. 7–8 Jubilee Street, Brighton, 01273 573550, www.iguanas.co.uk

SOUTH EAST ASIAN Bali Brasserie Located in a 1960s mansion block, this very popular Indonesian-Malaysian restaurant has a rijsttafel buffet dining menu at £16.95 with a wide and generous range of dishes that are constantly replenished. There is also an à la carte menu. Nice original retro décor, bamboo and cane, pink and gilt, with lots of oriental puppets, jazz playing and a friendly atmosphere. Very Simon Templar. Kingsway Court, First Avenue, Hove, 01273 323810, 12-2pm, 6.30-10.30pm (till 11pm Friday and Saturday)

To have an entry in the latest hot list call 01273 818150 latest 7 25

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‘DESTINED FOR THE WEST END’ ABSOLUTE BRIGHTON ‘A MASTERPIECE’ METRO ‘UNMISSABLE’ EDINBURGH GUIDE ‘A MONUMENTAL WORK’ THE ARGUS

AN ASTONISHING MUSICAL ABOUT DARFUR & AUSCHWITZ

with the rainbow chorus and members of brighton youth orchestra conducted by dominic nunns STARRING KERRI MCLEAN with

ANGI MARIANI

(EMINEMMYLOU)

& GUY PICOT (HOLBY CITY & FOOTBALLERS’ WIVES WRITER)

22ND – 27TH MAY 7PM £10 (£6) THE UDDERBELLY BOX OFFICE 01273 709709 www.udderbelly.co.uk

www.lifeanddeath.org

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FOOD & DRINK SPANISH La Tapa De Oro This large upper room is home to great and authentic Spanish cooking. Tapas has been trendy for years but here the emphasis is on real Iberian food. Favourites include sweet slices of octopus on boiled potato slices dressed with olive oil, lovely ensalad Russe and great jamon Serrano. Informal and friendly, this is a great place for a romantic dinner, family outing, business meal or party. 123 Western Road, Hove 01273 779474 www.ipanemarestaurants.com

THAI Chokdee Possibly the first of its kind, this premium take-away offers fantastic-quality Thai food to your door if you use the home-delivery service or to take away if you are passing. You can eat in too, as there is a stylish dining area. Counter service does away with additional service charges, so you can enjoy Thai food as often as you like without the fuss. At Chokdee it’s the food that’s the thing. Foodies – start the queue! 98 Goldstone Villas, Hove, 01273 720370, open every day (12pm–3pm and 5pm–11pm)

Sawadee The Thai restaurant that people love, for parties and celebrations, and because they always give the best of times. And why not; this well-priced restaurant pleases repeatedly with dishes we have all grown to love, and some new ones too. We were impressed by the use of authentic ingredients, such as pea aubergines where others use peas. Lots of fish dishes too with bass and pomfret and a great sliced beef salad. 87 St James’s Street, Brighton, 01273 624233, www.sawadeethai.co.uk

VEGETARIAN Revitalise (formerly Planet Janet) This popular and stylish Hove café restaurant offers delicious healthy hot and cold food in combination with being an excellent centre for therapies, treatments and classes. Healthy breakfasts, chunky sandwiches, soups, main meals, jacket potatoes and salads form the core of the menu. Freshly pressed fruit and vegetable juices in delicious revitalising combos, delicious fair-trade teas and coffee, vegan and gluten-free options. Open seven days a week, families welcome. You can eat for less than a fiver! 86 Church Road, Hove, 01273 738389, www.revitalise-u.com

BARS & PUBS The Bell This friendly, traditional pub reopened its doors at the end of last year after having undergone extensive refurbishment and is now under new ownership. Tucked away off Blatchington Road, it already has a name for itself for its great value food, freshly made every day from locally sourced products, including fantastic roasts on Sundays. The pub is child friendly and there’s often something extra going on, from quiz nights to live music. There’s also a function room available to hire and happy hours every Monday to Friday from 4-7pm. 15-17 Belfast Street, Hove, 01273 770773

Blanch House The award-winning cocktail bar is located on the ground floor of the five-storey building and offers an eclectic range of superbly made cocktails. The owner, Chris Edwardes, has managed many renowned bars, restaurants and clubs in London, including the Groucho Club, The Pharmacy, as well as opening the Jazz Café, The Atlantic, and the Ge Club for Conran. His cocktail skills have been described as ’legendary’ by those in the know and with over 30 years’ experience in the industry it was only a matter of time before he opened his own quality venue. 17 Atlingworth Street, Brighton, 01273 603504, www.blanchhouse.co.uk

The Eagle Great atmosphere, warm welcome, good beer and above all, great food from this gastropub. Hearty, modern food inspired by global cuisine and sensibly priced – you won’t go home hungry or broke. Right in the heart of the North Laine, an excellent place for lunch or dinner. Voted Latest 7 Pub Of The Year. 125 Gloucester Road, Brighton, 01273 607765

GinGin Sophisticated cocktail chic at this stylish St James’s Street bar. Try one of the head barman’s innovative cocktails using unusual mixes and fresh herbs. Cool interiors and a warm and friendly atmosphere which, for once in a city that worships youth, is not ageist. St James’s Street, Kemp Town, Brighton, 01273 671119

The Hop Poles Great central pub with off-the-wall décor and a loyal clientele of the city’s fashionable best. A fantastic menu of wellpriced food means it gets very busy and seats are at a premium, even in winter on the heated terrace, so get there early. Excellent free-range meat is specially sourced, while vegetarians are well catered for too. 13 Middle Street, Brighton, 01273 710444

Koba Koba hosts a happy hour between 5pm and 7pm all week. Three bars over three floors with a dedicated team of mixologists. This venue stands as a flagship of quality in Brighton and has been nominated in the top ten bars/clubs in the UK by The Independent. Good beers, a sensible wine list and, of course, champagne for those special occasions or just the sheer love of it. The perfect venue for a private party or an atmospheric night out. Live music on Thursdays, DJs on the weekend. For free K-list membership go to the website. 135 Western Road, Brighton, 01273 720059, www.kobauk.com

What’s cooking this week? Cooking With Chimineas Wendy Sweetser There is nothing like eating outside in summer. Flavours taste richer and dining with friends and family is an enjoyable experience – maybe because it’s so rare to eat al fresco in England. Whatever the reason, Cooking With Chimineas is the way to cook and eat outside this summer. Originating from Mexico, chimineas offer a greater versatility than the traditional barbecue, as food can be grilled, steamed or roasted! Chimineas also make a great decorative feature in the garden, and can even be used as a heater, enabling you to sit outside long after the sun has set. Tempted? Then a copy of Wendy Sweetser’s new book is essential. For those who already own a chiminea and those looking to buy one, this handy-sized paperback has everything you need to know about chimineas, from cooking times, temperatures and fuels to stockists. Of course, there are the recipes too, and here you will find an extensive variety. I often rave about the number of recipe ideas offered in new books, but this one definitely takes the lead with 150 suggestions to make the most of your chiminea and outside dining. There are the traditional hot-dog baguettes and quarter-pounders but also chilli scallops with lime and coriander, prawn, pepper and pineapple skewers, goat’s cheese-stuffed mushrooms and more! From party food to meat and vegetarian dishes, salads, pickles and dressings, this packed recipe book will keep the chef busy long into September. Zara Friend

Devilled Mackerel Ingredients 4 whole mackerel, cleaned 1tbsp paprika 1tsp ground coriander 1tbsp Worcestershire sauce

3tbsp white wine vinegar 1tsp English mustard powder 1 lemon, cut into 8 wedges Serves 4

1 Slash the skin of the mackerel several times on each side and lay them side by side in a shallow dish. Whisk together the paprika, coriander, Worcestershire sauce, vinegar and mustard powder and spoon over the fish. Turn over and leave to marinade for 1 hour. 2 Grill the mackerel on a rack for about 5 minutes on each side or until cooked. Squeeze the lemon wedges over the fish and serve.

Roasted Sweet Potato Wedges Ingredients 3 medium-sized sweet potatoes 6tbsp olive oil 1tsp fresh garlic purée 4tbsp orange juice

1tbsp finely chopped fresh rosemary To serve: soured cream and/or guacamole Serves 6

Preston Park Tavern This stunning new gastro-pub is situated on Havelock Road in Fiveways. Fresh, locally sourced food is served seven days a week from the open-plan kitchen. A separate children’s menu is available in this totally non-smoking venue. It boasts a great range of real ales and lagers as well as a 17 bin wine list, all served by the glass or bottle. 88 Havelock Road, Brighton, 01273 542271

1 Scrub the sweet potatoes, pat dry with kitchen paper and cut into thick wedges. 2 Cook the wedges in a pan of boiling water on a conventional hob for 6–7 minutes or until just tender when pierced with a skewer. Drain and pat dry the wedges on kitchen paper or a clean tea towel. 3 In a bowl, mix together the olive oil, garlic purée, orange juice and rosemary. Add the still warm wedges, turning them over so they are well coated. Leave to marinade for 5–6 hours or overnight. 4 Lift the wedges from the marinade and grill on the rack for about 5 minutes on each side, until tender and lightly scorched, basting with any leftover marinade as they cool. Serve with soured cream and guacamole. Cooking With Chimineas by Wendy Sweetser is out 7 June, published by New Holland Publishers, priced £9.99, ISBN-978-1-84537-724-3

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FILM www.odeon.co.uk

0871 224 4007 Tuesday 8

Thursday 10

ALPHA DOG (15) 12.45, 3.15, 6.00, 8.45 BRIDGE TO TERABITHIA (PG) 1.00, 3.30, 6.15, 8.45 FRACTURE (15) 5.30 GOYA’S GHOST (15) 11.45, 2.15, 5.15, 8.00 NEXT (12A) 2.15, 4.30, 7.00, 9.30 SPIDER-MAN 3 (12A) 12.30, 1.30, 2.30, 4.00, 5.00, 6.00, 7.30, 8.30, 9.15 SUNSHINE (15) 8.00 WILD HOGS (12A) 12.45, 3.00

Wednesday 9 ALPHA DOG (15) 12.45, 3.15, 6.00, 8.45 BRIDGE TO TERABITHIA (PG) 1.00, 3.30, 6.15, 8.45 FRACTURE (15) 5.30 GOYA’S GHOST (15) 11.45, 2.15, 5.15, 8.00 NEXT (12A) 2.15, 4.30, 7.00, 9.30 SPIDER-MAN 3 (12A) 12.30, 1.30, 2.30, 4.00, 5.00, 6.00, 7.30, 8.30, 9.15 SUNSHINE (15) 8.00 WILD HOGS (12A) 12.45, 3.00

Films showing Friday 11–Monday 14 ALPHA DOG (15) BRIDGE TO TERABITHIA (PG) FRACTURE (15) GOYA’S GHOST (15) NEXT (12A) SPIDER-MAN 3 (12A) SUNSHINE (15) WILD HOGS (12A) PLEASE CHECK WITH CINEMA FOR CONFIRMATION OF FILMS SHOWING FROM FRIDAY FROM FRIDAY

www.picturehouses.co.uk

01273 626261 Tuesday 8

Saturday 12

DANS PARIS (15) 4.00, 9.00 THIS IS ENGLAND (18) 1.30, 6.30

AWAY FROM HER (12A) 1.30, 6.30 MY BEST FRIEND (12A) 4.00, 9.00 EUROVISION PARTY (TBC) 7.00

Wednesday 9 DANS PARIS (15) 4.00, 9.00 THIS IS ENGLAND (18) 1.30, 6.30 BIG SCREAM: MUSIC AND LYRICS (PG) 11.00am

Sunday 13

Thursday 10

Monday 14

DANS PARIS (15) 4.00, 9.00 THIS IS ENGLAND (18) 1.30, 6.30

AWAY FROM HER (12A) 1.30, 6.30 MY BEST FRIEND (12A) 4.00, 9.00

Also showing... A quick look at all this week’s releases Alpha Dog (15) Dir: Nick Cassavetes A dire, but finely polished, thriller. The new film from Cassavetes, son of cult director John, documents the life of Jesse James Hollywood, the youngest person ever to be on the FBI Most Wanted list. Justin Timberlake stars alongside Bruce Willis in this grimy, pimped-out indulgence. (2/5) Showing at Odeon Amazing Grace (PG) Dir: Michael Apted This timely exploration of the slave trade is a film with admirable intentions but a somewhat dry and muddled execution. Ioan Gruffudd plays William Wilberforce as he attempts to persuade parliament to abolish slavery. Two hundred years after abolition was passed, this is a flawed epitaph. (2/5) Showing at Worthing Dans Paris (15) Dir: Christophe Honoré This Gallic tale of love, loss and depression may sound miserable, and it often is, but the lightness of touch and wit employed throughout make this a treasure in desperate need of discovery. (4/5) Showing at Duke of York’s

AWAY FROM HER (12A) 1.30, 6.30 MY BEST FRIEND (12A) 4.00, 9.00

AWAY FROM HER (12A) 1.30, 6.30 MY BEST FRIEND (12A) 4.00, 9.00 LATE NIGHT: DONNIE DARKO – DIRECTOR’S CUT (15) 11.30

01273 818094 Tuesday 8

Thursday 10

BRIDGE TO TERABITHIA (PG) 12.30, 2.40, 4.45, 7.00, 9.00 FRACTURE (15) 6.00 MR BEAN’S HOLIDAY (PG) 12.50, 3.10 NEXT (12A) 3.20, 8.50 SPIDER-MAN 3 (12A) 10.45, 11.45, 1.00, 2.00, 3.00, 4.15, 5.15, 6.15, 7.30, 8.30, 9.30 THE PAINTED VEIL (12A) 12.20, 5.50 THE UPSIDE OF ANGER (15) 3.40, 6.30, 9.10 THIS IS ENGLAND (18) 12.40, 3.30, 8.40 WILD HOGS (12A) 11.15, 1.30

Wednesday 9

Films showing Friday 11–Monday 14

BRIDGE TO TERABITHIA (PG) FRACTURE (15) MR BEAN’S HOLIDAY (PG) NEXT (12A) SPIDER-MAN 3 (12A) THE PAINTED VEIL (12A) THE UPSIDE OF ANGER (15) THIS IS ENGLAND (18) WILD HOGS (12A)

Worthing Cinema

Tue 8–10

01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk please call for times

Tue 8–14 SPIDER-MAN 3 (12A)

28 latest 7

PLEASE CHECK WITH CINEMA FOR CONFIRMATION OF FILMS SHOWING FROM FRIDAY

THE ILLUSIONIST (PG)

Sun 13 AMAZING GRACE (PG)

Next (12A) Dir: Lee Tamahori Phillip K Dick’s story The Golden Man gets a haphazard adaptation here as Nicholas Cage plays a man with the ability to see three minutes into the future. Julianne Moore co-stars as the government agent ordered to bring him in to help quash a terrorist attack. It’s fun and it’s trashy, but ultimately this a forgettable affair. (3/5) Showing at Cineworld and Odeon Spider-Man 3 (12A) Dir: Sam Raimi Spidey gets a third instalment in the most ambitious and darkly sweet member of the comic book franchise. Venom, Sandman and Green Goblin all make villainous returns as Tobey Maguire’s web-slinger struggles with fame, ego, and love. (4/5) Showing at Cineworld, Odeon, and Worthing Sunshine (15) Dir: Danny Boyle Set 50 years into the future, this sci-fi epic sees Danny Boyle resurrect a genre that hasn’t been at full strength since the heady days of Alien or Outlander. Boyle regular Cillian Murphy heads an international cast that also includes Michelle Yeoh, Hiroyuki Sanada, Rose Byrne and Chris Evans. (3/5) Showing at Odeon The Illusionist (PG) Dir: Neil Burger Following The Prestige we get a second helping of magical cinema with this slightly more frothy addition. Ed Norton (or Edward as he now likes to be known) plays a court magician who uses his skills to try and win the love of Jessica Biel’s socialite. (4/5) Showing at Worthing

Friday 11

www.cineworld.co.uk

co-starring Drew Barrymore. Grant plays a washed-up 80s pop star trying to write the perfect three-minute hit. (2/5) Showing at Duke of York’s

Donnie Darko – Director’s Cut (15) Dir: Richard Kelly This modern existential classic is complicated a little with Kelly’s extended cut. Despite the slightly skewed ending this remains a beautiful, ruthless, and often hilarious film. Jake Gyllenhaal has never been better than the maladjusted youth with a penchant for rabbits. Just watch out for Patrick Swayze as he steals the show, proving there is life after Dirty Dancing and Ghost. (4/5) Showing at Duke Of York’s Fracture (15) Dir: Gregory Hoblit An early contender for worst film of the year, this insipid thriller finds Anthony Hopkins as a businessman-turned-killer pitted in a battle of wills and intellect against the Assistant DA played by the usually dependable Ryan Gosling. (1/5) Showing at Cineworld and Odeon Mr Bean’s Holiday (PG) Dir: Steve Bendelack Mr Bean returns with his goofy ways as he travels to the south of France. Traditional British slapstick fun as Mr Bean’s video diaries accidentally get a gala screening at the Cannes Film Festival. Silly for sure but Rowan Atkinson has the mildly autistic Bean down to a tee. (2/5) Showing at Cineworld Music And Lyrics (PG) Dir: Marc Lawrence Hugh Grant delivers another flawless but mundane performance in this sickly rom-com

The Last King of Scotland (15) Dir: Kevin Macdonald Forest Whitaker deservedly won the Best Actor Oscar for his portrayal of Idi Amin in this thrilling and often disturbing film. (4/5) Showing at Odeon The Painted Veil (12A) Dir: John Curran Based on the epic novel by W Somerset Maugham, The Painted Veil is a love story set in the 1920s where love and loss are played out with grace by the two leads, Edward Norton and Naomi Watts. Beautifully shot but sweetly sick. (3/5) Showing at Cineworld This Is England (18) Dir: Shane Meadows Without doubt the best British film of the last few years, this follow-up to the excellent Dead Man’s Shoes finds Meadows hitting his stride with confidence. A biographical rendering of Meadows’ own life growing up in the 80s, the film follows young ruffian Shaun as he struggles with life under Maggie. At last, this is a British film unafraid to be authentic and assured without resorting to Richard Curtis stereotypes or melodrama. (5/5) Showing at Cineworld and Duke of York’s Wild Hogs (12A) Dir: Walt Becker Defiantly oddball cinema with John Travolta, Tim Allen, William H Macy, and Martin Lawrence. Ray Liotta makes a welcome addition as an irate biker, but the film never quite recovers from the shock of John Travolta’s ever-increasing waistline. (2/5) Showing at Cineworld and Odeon

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L7 lowdown Little Shop of Roger New releases reviewed

My Best Friend (12A)

7 Selects

Director: Patrice Leconte The always excellent Daniel Auteuil delivers a much subtler performance than his turn in the recent 36 in this tale of human relationships. Auteuil plays Francois, a middle-aged man working as an antique dealer who, at a dinner with his closest friends, discovers that none of them actually like him. As a result his business partner challenges him to reveal his best friend as Francois struggles to find a true understanding of himself. With genuine sentiment and a delicate but funny pathos throughout, this is an original concept delivered expertly and with panache. Craig Driver Showing at Duke of York’s

and Queen. The story itself is sweet enough but this seemingly innocent tale of childhood delivers a few dark twists along the way and is at the very least an attempt to stand out from the usual animated dross. Showing at Cineworld and Odeon

Goya’s Ghosts (15)

Away From Her (12A)

Director: Sarah Polley Produced by cult director Atom Egoyan, this directorial debut from indie favourite Sarah Polley is an insightful look into growing old and dealing with dementia and loss. Starring 1960s icon Julie Christie and Gordon Pinsent as the old couple struggling with memory loss, this is a film that truly deserves the label ‘emotive’. Both Christie and Pinsent act with dignity and style in a film that doesn’t do much, but says a hell of a lot. This is a brave film in the style of Iris, but where that film was always about Judi Dench’s grandstanding performance, this is a low-budget gem that will move even the hardest of cynics to tears. Showing at Duke of York’s

Bridge To Terabithia (PG)

Director: Gabor Csupo Based on the 1970s classic book by Katherine Paterson, this faithful – if tired – rendering chooses style over content. Telling of two children at first reluctant to be friends – Jesse and Leslie – this is a story of how they quickly bond and invent a fantasy world called Terabithia where they crown themselves King

Director: Milos Forman Polish living legend Milos Forman finally makes another film after his early success of One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest and the superb The People Vs. Larry Flynt. The problem this time though is that instead of being thoroughly modern Forman has taken a step back into history in order to tell the story of painter Francisco Goya (Javier Bardem) and his relationship with his muse (Natalie Portman). The film is sumptuous to look at and the central performances suitably powerful but it does at times feel like an extended perfume advert. Forman has made better films in his career but never one that has looked so ravishing. Showing at Odeon

As Roger Corman enters his 80th year Garth Twa looks back at the true king of cult cinema

Penny-pinching, exploitative, with little regard for logic, let alone continuity, Roger Corman has brought us 50 years worth of bikers, tripping hippies, brain eaters, buckets of blood, reformed school girls, crab monsters, and breasts… so many breasts…Viking women breasts, sorority girl breasts, cobra-women breasts, breasts in women’s prisons. Despite this dubious obsession, this gentle giant of Hollywood may just be the most important man in movie history. Roger is responsible for over 400 films and counting: either producing, directing, writing or acting. He has done what few others have, or would ever even consider doing. He holds the record for fastest production of a 35mm feature film (two days, for Little Shop of Horrors), he invented the overripe ‘student nurse’ genre, and he even released Ingmar Bergman’s Cries and Whispers in drive-in movie theatres. Bergman in a drive-in? That alone deserves a Special Oscar. He created the template for the modern independent filmmaker, and is the only director known to have turned down a project because the budget was too big. With no money and no time – and often shooting a second film on the same location to save both – he is unstoppable. The usual method of production was to find a lurid title and make an equally lurid poster to raise money. Then, if there was time, perhaps write a script. After finishing production on The Raven, Corman had several days left on Boris Karloff’s contract so, before the sets were torn down, he decided to shoot another movie. He called it The Terror. The cast improvised and tried to keep from laughing, and Jack Nicholson was drafted in to not only act, but to direct (in shifts, along with Corman). ‘Waste not, want not’ was not just a proverb to Corman, it was a mantra. There was no genre too lurid or debased for pillage: cannibals, hot rods, stewardesses, radioactive beasts, beach parties, or Edgar Allen Poe. These films were fodder for drive-ins, where what was on the screen was of far less concern than what was going on in the back seat. Roger Corman practically invented the teenager. His films have almost never lost money. But Corman is not King Of The B-movie, as he’s often labelled. Bmovies were produced by the studios on lower budgets and tighter schedules to fill out the lower half of a double-bill. For Corman, Teenage Caveman and The Wasp Woman were his A-pictures. Without Roger Corman we wouldn’t have some of the best American films ever. (I would not want to live in a world without Attack of the Giant Leeches). Corman also brought us – among others – Martin Scorsese, Francis Ford Coppola, Peter Bogdanovich, Jonathan Demme, and Ron Howard, not to mention Peter Fonda, Dennis Hopper, and Robert De Niro. James Cameron (who got his start on Piranha II) is right to credit his success to attending ‘the Roger Corman Film School’. There would be no Raging Bull without Boxcar Bertha, and no Godfather without Dementia 13. There would be no Silence of the Lambs without Caged Heat. There would be no Beautiful Mind without Death Race 2000 (well, perhaps not all progress is positive). So before the high-budget winking exploitation of Tarantino and Rodriguez’s Grindhouse film hits your local multiplex why not treat yourself to the real thing, Roger Corman. You might want to allow yourself some time, however, because there’s a lot to get through. The Roger Corman Classics Gift Set featuring Death Race 2000 , Hollywood Boulevard, Piranha and Rock 'n' Roll High School is out now.

The Upside of Anger (15)

Director: Mike Binder This frothy but steel-eyed melodrama tells the story of a sharp-witted suburban wife and her daughters as they juggle their romantic dilemmas and family dynamics after their husband/father suddenly disappears. Kevin Costner pops his ugly mug into the film as a romantic interest but it is the central circle of female leads who make this more than just a cheesy rites of passage film. Joan Allen and Alicia Witt are especially good as the pressures of love and family take hold. Showing at Cineworld latest 7 29

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THE BIG GIG

THIS WEEK Brighton Festival Lunchtime Concerts

Kris Drever

Always some of the highlights of the annual Brighton Festival are the lunchtime concerts that take place every day (except Sundays) at the Pavilion Theatre. Featuring a highly eclectic range of music from traditional folk to contemporary classical, they provide a relatively cheap opportunity to see some brilliant singers and musicians during your lunch hour. Highlights this year include the superb Scottish folk singer Kris Drever (Fri 11 May) who writes sublime and soulful Celtic folk, the Russian-born violin prodigy Alexander Sitkovetsky (Thurs 10 May), contemporary Chinese music courtesy of The Silk String Quartet (Tues 15 May), Dutch-born French jazz guitarist Misja Fitzgerald-Michel (Thurs 17 May) and Indian sitar master Gaurav Mazumdar (Thurs 24 May). See Brighton Festival programme for details and day-by-day listings within this magazine. Until 26 May (except Sundays), Pavilion Theatre, 01273 709709

Devo Those ker-azee American post-punk dudes are looking rather silly now in those pot plants and sanitation overalls. Still, their sartorial social commentary is as relevant now as it was back then. Sat 14 July, Brighton Dome, 01273 709709

Latest 7’s Top 5 records Squeeze Essential Squeeze (album Universal) As they gear up for a reunion tour later in the year, here’s a timely reminder why Difford and Tilbrook were once called the new Lennon and McCartney, producing a long and steady stream of bona fide classics that combined brilliant musicianship, a sharp ear for melody and memorable and often witty lyrics. From ‘Take Me, I’m Yours’ to ‘Cool For Cats’ and ‘Another Nail In My Heart’ to ‘Is That Love?’, they are all here…

Loney, Dear Loney, Noir (album Regal) Mulit-instrumentalist and audio home-cooking expert Emil Svanängen combines synthesizers with ornate pop to create textured sonic landscapes that surround hypnotic melodies. Gorgeous.

Dizzy Gillespie All-Star Big Band One of the all-time greats of jazz, Gillespie was essentially a jazz trumpeter. But he was also a magnificent composer, arranger and band leader. Moreover, along with Charlie Parker, he was the key architect of the seismic shift from swing to bebop. Formed in 1998 to perform his bigband repertoire, the 18-piece Dizzy Gillespie All-Star Big Band features Gillespie alumni such as trombonist Slide Hampton, alto-sax player James Moody and bassist John Lee. Also in the band are contemporary jazz musicians such as pianist Tomoko Ohno and vocalist Roberta Gambarini. Together the band will be performing classic arrangements of vintage Gillespie along with new slants on his extensive songbook. Thurs 10 May, Brighton Dome, 01273 709709

Shooglenifty Beneath their folky-looking exterior lurk electric instruments, samples and programming, customised hi-tech banjos and plenty of effects, distortion, feedback and improvisation. This Edinburgh-based six-piece marries traditional tunes, primarily Scottish in style, with contemporary dance music. And along with Afro-Celt Sound System, they are considered pioneers in Celtic/clubland fusion. Fri 11 May, Komedia, Brighton, 01273 647100

Elliot Smith New Moon (album Domino) New compilation of long-lost early songs from this cult hero who tragically died a young man a few years ago. Some brilliant material.

Tori Amos American Doll Posse (album Epic) Truly brilliant, maverick and unique songstress who continues to release top-quality albums of fierce intelligence allied to an understanding of pop melodies.

James Greatest Hits (album EMI) It took almost a decade for James to achieve commercial success, but, once they found it, it never stopped until they called it a day in 2001. However, they have reformed this year, hence the release of their best singles from 1989 onwards.

For music listings see our day-to-day guide starting on page 43 30 latest 7

If you would like your event listed please email listings@thelatest.co.uk

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MUSIC

BRIGHTON SCENE A weekly round-up of what’s happening in the local Brighton and Sussex music scene It’s festival fever this month as the Brighton Festival and Fringe get their cultural teeth embedded into the artsy landscape of Brighton. It’s your chance, as is the custom, to get stuck into the weird, exotic, unusual, and often wonderful. The month ahead will feature all kinds of musical events that don’t normally get a look in. Check the Fringe programme in particular for some local delights. From brass to recitals, world music to rock, there is a veritable potpourri of idiosyncratic delights just waiting for an audience. But for now here are some Fringe highlights… The country noir four piece She Said! (Tues 8 May, She Said! Udderbelly) are led by the charismatic Dominique Noiret, and combine elements of country, rockabilly, psychobilly and cinematic widescreen into their dark and brooding sound. It’s cool and kitsch, but somehow manages to stay the right side of camp. Although now Paris-based The loveGods (Thurs 10 May, Komedia) will always have a special place in the hearts of Brightonians. Capable of performing both intensely fragile and brittle songs, together with full-on rock numbers, there is also plenty of humour and stagecraft within the band, particularly via their extraordinary frontwoman, the Amazonian Déah. They have a new line-up The loveGods and there will be special guests at this homecoming gig. The Hat (Wed 9 May, The Hat Komedia) are another enduring and popular Brighton band, but this time one without leaders. They contain four gifted multiinstrumentalists, singers and songwriters, the resulting chemical reaction being a unique and utterly engaging fusion of storytelling, bohemia, folk and pop hooks. They’ve just signed a deal with Rob da Bank’s Sunday Best label, and this gig will see the launch of their debut single. For something a little bit different but equally as musical and innovative check out Nick Pynn’s Box Of Acoustic Delights (8, 10, 11 and 12 May, Bom Bane’s Restaurant) where the talented multi-string instrumentalist will play two solo shows and two with guests (8 May sees ‘I am the God of hell-fire’ Arthur Brown, while 12 May has the brilliant musical comedian Boothby Graffoe) as part of his four Fringe gigs at this restaurant. Pynn has performed with many musicians and comedians over the years including Steve Harley, Otis Lee Crenshaw, B*witched, Richard Durrant, Stomp and Arthur Brown. Send your music and news to Jeff Hemmings, Music Editor, Latest 7, Unit 1, Level 5, New England House, New England Street, Brighton BN1 4GH. Listen to Jeff and guests from the Latest magazine stable on the Latest Live show on Radio Reverb, Mon–Fri, 4–6pm, 97.2FM or via www.radioreverb.com

latest 7 on the radio Tune into Radio Reverb 97.2FM Mon-Fri, 4-6pm, for the latest music, art, culture, politics, community and entertainment news, with Jeff Hemmings and guests.

If you would like your event listed please email listings@thelatest.co.uk

THE MONTH AHEAD Great Escape This will perhaps be your last chance to get tickets for this three-day bash that features over 150 bands in over 15 venues across Brighton. Bands and venues keep being added every day and some recent additions include a reformed Happy Mondays (featuring Shaun Ryder and Bez), plus Brighton’s British Sea Power and The Holloways. They will join a long list of contemporary indie bands and singer-songwriters such as The Magic Numbers, Willy Mason, CSS, The Rakes, Mr Hudson, Kate Nash, Good Shoes, The Noisettes, Archie Bronson Outfit and Jack Penate. The festival will continue to spring up surprises in the form of unexpected guests, last-minute gigs and secret performances. In addition there will be an extensive Alternative Escape which will throw up a lot of local bands organised by local promoters in a variety of venues. As well as the three-day ticket there will be a small number of one-day passes closer to the event. 17-19 May, various venues in Brighton, www.escapegreat.com

Brighton Beach Boys If you cannot be dealing with all these new bands and hark back (like so many of the older generation do, sadly) to purer, more innocent days, then this should satisfy your soul. Formed in late 2001, the Brighton Beach Boys are a ten-piece tribute band led by actor Ralph Brown, playing the best of Brian Wilson’s music, from the earliest hits such as ‘Surfin‘ USA’ through to songs from Pet Sounds, Smile and beyond. Following last year’s success, they are back for another Sgt Pepper vs Pet Sounds duel, this time featuring 15 musicians, including woodwind, strings and brass. By all accounts, they are superb. Fri 18 and Sat 19 May, St George’s Church, Brighton, 01273 709709

NOWBOOKING The Great Escape 17-19 May, various venues in Brighton, www.escapegreat.com Willy Mason 18 May, Pavilion Theatre Mingus Big Band 23 May, Brighton Dome G4 24 May, Brighton Centre Ray Davies 26 May, Brighton Centre Joan As Policewoman 27 May, Concorde 2 Girls Aloud 29 May, Brighton Centre Pet Shop Boys 30 May, Brighton Centre Tom McRae 5 June, Concorde 2 Manic Street Preachers 6 June, B’ton Dome Gary Moore 9 June, Brighton Dome CocoRosie 12 June, Komedia, Brighton Allen Toussaint 15 June, Brighton Dome INXS 17 June, Brighton Dome Devo 18 June, Brighton Dome Ronan Keating 21 June, Stanmer Park Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark 22 June, Brighton Dome Jools Holland & Lulu 23 June, Borde Hill Garden, Haywards Heath

Royal Philharmonic Orchestra 24 June, Stanmer Park Blackmore’s Night 23 June, Brighton Dome Rufus Wainwright 24 June, Brighton Dome Suzanne Vega 2 July, Brighton Dome Damien Rice 14 July, Brighton Dome The Be Good Tanyas 24 July, St George’s Church, Kemp Town James Last Orchestra 22 September, Brighton Centre Natasha Bedingfield 26 September, Brighton Dome Don McLean 23 Oct, Brighton Centre Dio, lommi, Butler and Appice 11 Nov, Brighton Centre Alice Cooper + Motörhead 13 Nov, Brighton Centre Beverley Knight 24 Nov, Brighton Dome Babyshambles 25 Nov, Brighton Centre Status Quo 13 Dec, Brighton Centre From The Jam 21 Dec, Brighton Centre

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032_LS320_RR/Molly

5/2/07

4:55 PM

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RADIOREVERB

Foxy Mamma Malone Malone discovers six scary secrets they don’t tell you before you have a baby

97.2FM

latest soup Brighton’s favourite magazine dishes up a tasty broth of chat, music and interviews Hosted by Latest 7’s music commander Jeff Hemmings with new tunes, old classics and hot local talent. Tune in Monday to Friday 4–6pm

every Monday 4–6pm...

Latest 7 funny girl Vicky Nangle has a giggle with guests from the comedy circuit every Tuesday 4–6pm....

Latest Art’s Colette Meacher gets stuck into the arts scene every Wednesday 4–6pm...

Latest Sounds with top live guests every Thursday 4–6pm...

From Arnie to art house, Craig Driver and guests catch up with the latest talk on the big screen

Before I had a baby these are the things no one told me about, which I think anyone about to have a baby (or considering getting up the duff), should know. Number one is that pregnancy is supposed to be nine months in duration, but is in fact 40 weeks long. This is more like ten months, as only five per cent of babies are delivered on their due date. It’s a blummin’ long time not to have a good piss-up or go horse riding. OK, maybe not the horse riding, but I definitely missed dancing like an idiot in nightclubs when I was pregnant. And to cap it off, since I’ve had the baby, all the bars stay open late with these new laws so no one goes dancing any more in clubs. To be honest, after a day with the baby, I flake out after a few hours of drinking and talking crap in bars. Anyhow the second thing no one tells you about this parent malarkey is that after the birth of the baby you have to give birth to an organ called the placenta! Well, I didn’t have to as I had a caesarean. Instead mine was removed by a complete stranger who I’ll never meet again. But they did offer it to me to take home if I desired, like some sort of doggy bag. So thoughtful! Some people eat theirs or use it as fertiliser. OK, I’m a spiritual hippy type, but I’m not down with that. I don’t care how nutritious it is and how it fed my baby for nine, actually ten, months. Call me old-fashioned, but I don’t want to eat my own organs.

“They did offer me the placenta. Call me oldfashioned but I don’t want to eat my own organs” The third thing no one tells us ladies about baby-making is that some women don’t get a period for over a year after having a baby. This is one of the very few bonuses of parenting, so read it and leap. A whole year! Something to do with hormones. I got mine after three months and feel cheated. Number four is that children don’t come with teeth, they have to have them pierce through their gums and this displeases them. Displeased babies are not fun. But the real clanger is that teething goes on till your child is two or three years old! Hopefully it won’t be constant. My baby still has no teeth so I actually don’t know what I’m talking about. Perhaps it will be fine. Number five is that your lovely baby’s inoffensive newborn poos start to smell just like an adult’s once they start eating solids. So keep them on a milk diet until they go to college. It will save on loo paper too. Six is that complete strangers now have a right to come up to you and speak to you on the bus/train saying things like, “Wow haven’t you got your figure back?”; “She hasn’t got your eyes has she?” and “Is she a boy?” I would recommend replying, “Thanks, her name is Esmerelda” or “Chilli Pepper” just to hear them say, “Oh, that’s a nice name dear” and watch them lie through their goddamned teeth.

For comments and chit chat email editorial@thelatest.co.uk

and every Friday 4–6pm...

Join Latest Homes’ resident fat boy Andrew Kay with his extra special guests from the worlds of theatre, food and drink Listen live at radioreverb.com or get in touch by emailing studio@radioreverb.com 32 latest 7

Crossword solutions Solution to Cryptic 91 ACROSS: 7 Arrange 8 Tulle 9 Cedar 10 Tedious 11 Malingerer 14 Degenerate 17 Tornado 19 Night 20 Oasis 21 Integer. DOWN: 1 Griddle 2 Entrance 3 Centre 4 Stud 5 Floor 6 Persistent 9 Combustion 12 Eternity 13 Baggage 15 Exotic 16 Grass 18 Apse. Solution to Quick 91 ACROSS: 7 Mixture 8 Blind 9 Largo 10 Reserve 11 Tambourine 14 Astronomer 17 Torment 19 Eager 20 Rabid 21 Resolve. DOWN: 1 Extreme 2 Humorous 3 Terror 4 Ibis 5 Mitre 6 Adventurer 9 Literature 12 Nonsense 13 Smuggle 15 Return 16 Tribe 18 Eddy. © Crossword Shop

For coverage in this magazine email editorial@thelatest.co.uk

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5/2/07

4:22 PM

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BARS &CLUBS

THIS WEEK AND THE MONTH AHEAD ★Latest 7 visits The Haywaggon Inn, Hartfield The 16th-century Haywaggon Inn sits in the pretty picturesque high street in Hartfield, East Sussex. The area is better known as Pooh Country, as this is where Winnie-the-Pooh author AA Milne lived, writing stories for his son Christopher Robin Milne. Hartfield is quaint, a perfect place to explore the history of the popular author, and The Haywaggon Inn pub and restaurant is as traditional as the street it sits in. A few yards down the road from Pooh Corner Shop, the pub makes an ideal stop after a walk to Pooh Bridge (the spot where the friends play Pooh Sticks in AA Milne’s tales). The Haywaggon Inn has a sunny garden with plenty of seating – the perfect place to catch some afternoon rays. If it’s cooling off you’re after following a walk to the bridge, then the pleasant interior through the low entrance is a marvellous place to relax, with a number of bar seats and tables. It takes a while for your eyes to adjust after being out in the bright sunlight, but when they do adjust, you catch sight of the impressive chalk board menu, tempting you to the delights on offer in the restaurant beyond the bar. An enjoyable day out, exploring the country, enjoying a drink in a friendly local atmosphere while discovering the heritage of Winnie-thePooh before he took up residence at Disney World. Zara Friend Dynamite Sal, We Luv Pop!

Simian Mobile Disco @ Stompa Phunk They once claimed that because of their friendship I’d never be alone again – but they lied. Day after day I sink into a bog of pure misery as my indie disco favourites refuse to answer my calls, emails or hastily written letters wrapped around bricks. Maybe at this exclusive Brighton date they’ll acknowledge my existence again, but somehow I very much doubt it. Damn you, your rather excellent Bugged Out! Mix CD, your wonderful soon-to-come artist album and your acclaimed live shows in which you twist your top tunes into acid-friendly club stompers – damn you to hell! Audio, 10 Marine Parade, Saturday 12 May, 11pm–4am, £10/8

We Luv Pop! @ Sussex Arts Club We may have a failing economy, sky-high drinks prices and the longest working hours in Europe, but by God us Brits know a good tune when we hear one! Saturday’s We Luv Pop! aims to celebrate this proud fact by pulling out the best of Brit Pop from the Kinks to the Arctic Monkeys and all points in between. Flying the flag from behind the decks will be the lovely Dynamite Sal while a legion of pop-pickers ensure the sun never sets on British pop stars (until they leave en masse for LA). Sussex Arts Club, 7 Ship Street, Saturday 12 May, 10pm–3am, £6/5

Bust the Box @ Volks It’s a sad fact of nature that girls can’t DJ. Everybody knows that their inbuilt inability to judge distances makes them poor at cueing up records and they are often too busy applying make-up to realise when one song has finished and another started. But being charitable types the good folks at Bust the Box are giving them a turn, with a girls versus boys playground-style DJ contest. Expect handbags (but hopefully no handbag house) before, during and quite possibly after dawn. Volks, Marine Parade, 12 May, 11pm–late, £5

Random @ Vudu Kicking off the venue formerly known as Havana is Random, a fresh night in which DJs Matt and Rose guide clubbers through an eclectic journey covering all bases from hip hop to salsa, with a few fabulously rare grooves kicked out along the way. Go and appease the gods of chaos, you know it makes sense. Vudu Lounge, Preston Street, 11 May, 10pm–early, £5

The Haywaggon Inn, High Street, Hartfield, East Sussex, TN7 4AB. Call 01892 770252.

LATE NIGHT BARS

It’s past midnight, you’re still thirsty, but don’t want to go clubbing; here’s our guide to after-hours drinking Above Audio 10 Marine Parade, Brighton, 01273 606906 Sun–Thu, until 1am, Fri–Sat, until 2am Aqua Bar 23 Waterfront, Brighton Marina, 01273 819800, Sun–Thu, 11am–12am, Fri–Sat, 11am–2am Arc Bar 160 King’s Road Arches, Brighton, 01273 770505, Mon–Sun, until 2am Cosmopolitan Bar The Cosmopolitan Hotel, 29-31 New Steine, Marine Parade, Brighton, Mon–Thu, 4pm–12am, Fri 4pm–2am, Sat 3pm–2am, Sun 12pm–11.30pm Earth and Stars 46 Windsor Street, Brighton, 01273 722879, Sun–Thu, until 1am, Fri–Sat, until 2am The Fiddler’s Elbow 11 Boyce’s Street, Brighton, 01273 325850, Sun–Thu, until 2am, Fri–Sat, until 3am Fish Bowl 74 East Street, Brighton, 01273 777505, Sun–Wed, until 2am, Thu–Sat, until 3am The Freebutt 1 Phoenix Place, Brighton, 01273 603974, Sun–Thu, until 12am, Fri–Sat, until 1am The Globe 78 Middle Street, Brighton, 01273 770685, Sun–Wed, until 2am, Thu–Sat, until 3am Grand Central 29-30 Surrey Street, Brighton, 01273 329086, Sun–Wed, until 12am, Thu–Sat, until 2am The Hope 11-12 Queen’s Road, Brighton, 01273 325793, Sun–Wed, until 12am, Thu–Sat, until 2am

The Joogleberry 14-17 Manchester Street, Brighton, 01273 687171, Mon–Sat, 11am–1am, Sunday until 12am Koba 135 Western Road, Brighton, 01273 720059, www.kobauk.com. Mon–Thu, until 5am, 24 hours over the weekend. Rehab Bar Waterfront, Brighton Marina, 01273 675007, Sun–Thu, until 12am Riki Tik 18a Bond Street, Brighton, 01273 683844, until 3.30am Fri and Sat Saqqara 158 North Street, Brighton, 01273 779701, until 2am Sidewinder 65 St James’s Street, Brighton, 01273 608571, Sun–Thu, until 1am, Fri–Sat, until 2am St. Christopher’s The Palace Hotel, 10–12 Grand Junction Road, Brighton, 01273 202035, open until 2am Vanilla 73a Western Road, Hove, 01273 748182, Tue–Thu, 5.30pm–1.30am, Fri–Sat, 5pm–2.30am, Sun 12pm–1am, closed Mondays Western Front 11 Cranbourne Street, Brighton, 01273 725656, Sun–Wed, until 2am, Thu–Sat, until 3am Zoot Street Bar 8 Queen’s Road, Brighton, 087 1223 5776, Sun–Wed, 5pm–11pm, Thu–Sat, 5pm–1pm

For bar/club listings see our day-to-day guide starting on page 43 latest 7 33

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5/2/07

4:13 PM

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GAY

News Cat and John, the presenters of Up and Out

Brighton’s great gay scene and has regular interviews with the faces that make it all happen. Guests to date have included Ben Davie, the promoter of the Religion night at Charles St Club and DJ Dulcie Danger. “It’s great to have a gay show on in a primetime slot, rather than buried in the graveyard shift,” says DJ John Byrne, who also DJs for Tonker at Bar Code in Soho and Vauxhall. Copresenter Cat, a club hostess, says the show has something for everyone: “We want to get the whole of the city up and out of bed and ready for the day with a smile and a boogie, and we know from our listeners that we are the real alternative breakfast show.” Up And Out: RadioReverb 97.2FM, weekdays 8am to 10am. Up And Out is also looking for show sponsors, particularly from gay businesses. Call them on 01273 323040.

Take pride

Wake up the gay way every week day! Brighton and Hove’s first gay breakfast show has started broadcasting in the city. Up And Out, on community radio station Radio Reverb, offers a mix of upbeat music and regular features. Presented by Cat and John, the show is on air for two hours from 8am, Monday to Friday. It features The Gay Today - a mix of local, national and international news. The discussion slot includes such intriguingly named topics as ‘the devil wears Primark’ and ‘are dolphins gay?’. The show also focuses on

Pubs & bars Amsterdam, 11 Marine Parade Bar, hotel, sauna and popular summer terrace. Food available every day. 01273 688825 www.amsterdam.uk.com Aquarium, 6 Steine Street Traditional back-street boozer. 01273 605525 www.pleisure.com Barley Mow, 92 St George’s Road Mixed and friendly local in Kemp Town serving good food. Nice outside terrace too. 01273 682259 Brighton Rocks, 6 Rock Place Fabulously stylish bar and restaurant with outside decking. 01273 601139 Bulldog, 31 St James’s Street Landmark gay pub for 25 years. Entertainment, happy hours. 01273 694097 www.bulldogbrighton.com Charles Street, 8 Marine Parade Huge, swish café/bar serving food. Outside terrace. Open ’til 3am Fri/Sat. 01273 624091 www.charlesstreetbar.com Doctor Brighton’s 16–17 Kings Road Popular pub with huge selection of vodkas. 01273 328765 www.pleisure.com Fountain Inn High Street, Handcross Gay oasis in the countryside near Gatwick and very popular. 01444 400218 www.fountainpub.co.uk Jack Horner, 80 High Street, Worthing Worthing’s only gay pub. Some themed nights. 01903 236427

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Legends Bar, Dance and Hotel 31-34 Marine Parade Recently reopened after a multimillion pound refit. Marine Tavern, 13 Broad Street Cosy, traditional and friendly boozer with real beer. 01273 681284 www.marinetavern.co.uk Marlborough, 4 Princes Street Large pub popular with the girls, with a great theatre upstairs. 01273 570028 www.marlboroughtheatre.co.uk PV, 22 Upper North Street Great mixed pub with cool interior and regular live music. 01273 325491 www.thepv.co.uk Queen’s Arms, 7 George Street Opens 3pm daily. Top acts every night. 01273 696873 www.queensarmsbrighton.com R-Bar, 7 Marine Parade Open till 2am, Sun–Thu; 24 hours, Fri–Sun. 01273 608133 www.revenge.co.uk Revue Bar, 19 New Steine Stylish bar, friendly atmosphere. 01273 607456 Star Inn, 5–9 Manchester Street Traditional-style pub in Kemp Town for bears, with quiz on Thu. Extensive lunch and dinner menu every day, plus great Sunday roasts. 01273 601450 Vavoom, 31 Old Steine Video bar, right next door to Revenge. 01273 603010 www.vavoom.co.uk White Horse, 30 Camelford St Friendly mixed local. 01273 603726 The Zone, 33 St James’s Street Bar promising something different for Brighton’s drinkers. 01273 626442

Pride is looking for volunteers for various activities at and before Pride this year. If you can help in any of these areas, please contact the Pride office on 01273 775939 or email office@brightonpride.org stating where you can help. All volunteers are also encouraged to join Pride as members. Details can be found on www.brightonpride.org.

World’s biggest gay church A Texan pastor is upsetting religious leaders by boasting that he has the world’s biggest gay church. Senior Pastor Jo Hudson says around 90 per cent of 3,500 members of the Cathedral Of Hope in Dallas are gay. The church was founded in 1970 as a safe place for gays to worship. Texan religious leaders are calling the church ‘sinful’.

Clubs Audio Hosts Sunday Sundae 10 Marine Parade Weekly chill out with occasional specials and drink promos. 01273 606906 Candy Bar, 129 St James’s Street UK’s only lesbian nightclub, ’til 3am, Fri/Sat. 01273 622424 www.thecandybar.co.uk Charles Street Club, 8 Marine Parade Sleek club above Charles Street Bar. Nightly promoters. 10pm–2am, 01273 624091 HQ, 43 Providence Place Bar/nightclub, cabaret/strippers, Fri/Sat nights. 9pm–4am, Fri/Sat. 01273 620630 www.hq-brighton.co.uk Monkey, Brighton Gloucester, 27 Gloucester Place Every Saturday night. www.wildfruit.co.uk 01273 688011 Revenge, 32 Old Steine Huge two-floor club. 10pm–3am, Sun–Thu ’til 5am Fri and Sat ’til 6am. www.revenge.co.uk Therapy @ Rehab Waterfront, Brighton Marina A weekly gay night at Brighton Marina, every Friday. A lovely stylish big bar! V2, 5 Steine Street Open every night from 8pm until late. 01273 603010 Wildfruit, Creation, 78 West Street Usually once a month, with themed nights. One for your calendar! www.wildfruit.co.uk

CHOICE Tue 8 May

Fri 11 May

Bulldog Kruz. Strictly men-only night, with DJ Justin K playing the latest dance in the main bar. ‘Kruz’ the lads there or venture up to the top bar with men-only videos as the backdrop and Scottie as your host. 11pm-2am, free

HQ Shaft. Strictly men-only. 10pm–4am, £5/£3 for members. For membership: www.hq-brighton.co.uk.

Wed 9 May Queens Arms Midweek cabaret party. With Raychel HarveyJones and DJ Andy B from 9pm. 2.30pm–11.30pm, free

Thu 10 May Charles Street Club Religion. Hosted by Mother Superior Joan Bond with DJs Richard Jones and Tony B on the decks. 10.30pm–3am, £5/£4/£3 NUS

Sat 12 May R-Bar Eurovision on the screens. Great food. Discount tickets for Revenge available. Open 24hrs!

Sun 13 May Audio Sunday Sundae Returning for a summer of sexy sizzling fun! 6pm–11pm, £2 before 7pm, £3 before 8pm, £5 after

Mon 14 May Marlborough Students’ social night from 6pm. Games, pool and tunes. 12pm–12am, free

3SIXTY is Brighton’s brightest monthly gay magazine with news, interviews, features and listings for the gay scene around Brighton and Hove. May’s edition is out now. Pick up your free copy across the city. You can also now download a full issue at www.3sixtymag.co.uk 3SIXTY T: 01273 570570 E: info@3sixtymag.co.uk

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5/3/07

11:46 AM

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STAGE

Local hero

Robin Cousins has a road to Damascus experience in Paul: Strange Kind Of Hero

!@? *

Cuss The World will take you on a shocking but highly compelling journey into the teenage world

Spanner in the Works make their Brighton festival debut this year, with a provocative and compelling new drama, Cuss The World. The company are based in Belfast, and are one of Northern Ireland’s best small theatre companies. Originally set up to give a platform to female actors in the region, Spanner have developed a reputation for hard-hitting and often controversial productions, with their use of drama to tackle a range of social issues including drug abuse, domestic violence and joyriding. Written and directed by Patricia Downey, Cuss The World is a play exploring the darker side of life, dealing with the serious issues affecting young people in our communities. Set in a run-down park in Belfast, it follows the lives of five young teenagers whose lives are growing increasingly out of control. Meet Jane, whose brother Peter is doing time for drug-dealing and joyriding; there’s David and Douglas who spend time trying to avoid their violent father; Amy, whose 15-year-old sister is pregnant and who looks like she may follow in her footsteps; and finally Anna, whose current hobbies include getting stoned and joyriding. Along the way, we also get to meet two mothers, who share their thoughts about bringing up troubled teenagers. Cuss The World does not make for comfortable viewing, but it is utterly compelling. The play contains language which might cause offence to some people. It also contains scenes which some people might find disturbing, and is not suitable for people under the age of 16. Cuss The World is at Marlborough Theatre, 4 Princes Street, Brighton, Fri 25–Sun 27 May, 6pm, £7/£5. Call 01273 709709 or see www.marlboroughtheatre.co.uk

Robin Cousins is best known as the Olympic Gold medal-winning ice skating champion. Recently he has chaired the panel of judges on ITV’s popular Dancing On Ice where his sound views always seemed to have the respect of both the competitors and audience. Real skating fans will also know that he has been a key creative force for the Endemol-owned Holiday On Ice for several years, responsible for bringing the skating into the 21st century and creating some of its best work to date. Real fans will also know that Robin is no stranger to the musical stage and has appeared in several West End shows, in The Rocky Horror Show (as Frank N Furter) and Cats. He has even performed his own cabaret act, singing a selection of his favourite songs. Now he is to star in a ground-breaking musical with a top professional West End cast being premiered at the Brighton Festival. Paul: Strange Kind of Hero is being hailed as the next generation of musical after the classics Godspell, Jesus Christ Superstar and Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. The show, written by acclaimed Brightonbased director Sue Pomeroy, features rock, pop, orchestral music and community choirs to tell the dramatic story of Saul who famously saw the light on the road to Damascus and later became St Paul. “The show is great entertainment for all the family” explains Sue, artistic director of Good Company Media. “I hope that people who come to see the show will find it inspirational and liberating.”

The production will transform the vast space of St Batholomew’s Church – one of Brighton’s most exciting venues – with ambitious staging and advanced lighting and sound technology to create a breath-taking and spectacular event. It has been performed to critical acclaim in Belfast and The Roundhouse in London. Now a brand new version has been re-worked and developed for the Brighton Festival, combining powerful drama and promenade performance that puts the audience right at the heart of the action. The musical is packed with more than 20 songs penned by Sue and songwriter Chris Eaton, whose works have been recorded by many pop greats including Donna Summer, Janet Jackson, Amy Grant and Michael Ball. He also wrote Cliff Richard’s massive Christmas hit Saviour’s Day which topped the charts in 1990. Sue and Chris have also written two new songs to showcase Robin’s singing talents. The cast also includes Simona Armstrong, the Romanian singing star catapulted to fame when she reached the finals of How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria? and Jack MacKenzie, whose extensive film and TV credits include The Empire Strikes Back and Taggart. Sue Pomeroy’s directing credits include the Warehouse Theatre, Croydon as artistic director, the National Theatre as resident director, the world-famous Berliner Ensemble and major tours both in the UK and internationally. Paul: Strange Kind Of Hero is at St Batholomew’s Church, 10–20 May, 7.30pm, plus matinees Thu and Sat 2.30pm and Sun 3pm, £10–£20. Call 01273 709709 or see www.brightonfestivalfringe.org.uk

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5/3/07

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STAGE

THEATRE LISTINGS

From Tuesday 8 to Monday 4 June 2007 BRIGHTON DOME 01273 709709 www.brightondome.org Futurology: A Global Revue A darkly comic show of dance and cabaret, looking at global issues including climate change and low supplies of fossil fuels. •Tue 8–Thu 10 May, 8pm, £15–£18 Czech National Symphony Orchestra Bringing rich Eastern European sound to the Brighton Festival. •Wed 9 May, 8pm, £10–£28.50 Wish I Was Here – Jackie Kay Two tragically funny short stories presented by Jackie Kay. Set to a specially commissioned soundscape. •Fri 11 May, 9pm, £7.50 Import/Export – Les Ballet C De La B. A stunning performance combining dance, acrobatics, live music and song, exploring the theme of powerlessness •Sat 12–Tue 15 May, 8pm, £15–£22.50 Sarmistha Guha – Indian Dance Classical Indian dance with rising young Bengali star. •Sat 12 May, 1pm, £7.50 Michael Clark Company Contemporary dance. •Sat 19 May, 8pm, £6–£22.50 Laurence Olivier’s Henry V Celebrating Oilvier’s centenary, a digitally remastered print of the Henry V. film set to the first ever live performance of William Walton’s original orchestral score. •Mon 21 May, 7.30pm, £12.50–£50, SOLD OUT Breakin’ Convention A chance to see the world’s finest poppers and breakers in action, with Electric Boogaloos, Frank Ejara, and Franck II Louise. Amazing dance. •Fri 25–Sat 26 May, foyer events from 6pm, show 7.30pm, £10–£20 Festival Ceilidh With kids' cocktails, a chillout room for under 8s, fully stocked bar for adults and resident caller to show you the moves. •Sun 27 May, 7pm,£26 family ticket (2 kids max), £9 adults/£6 children

BRIGHTON LITTLE THEATRE 01273 777748 www.the-little.co.uk The Merchant Of Venice One of Shakespeare's best-known plays – a comedy portraying the tormented character of Shylock, who is also a tormenter, creating changing views for the watching audience. Book through the Brighton Festival at www.brightonfestivalfringe.org.uk •Tue 8–Sat 12 May, 7.45pm, £7.50/£8.50 Blue/Orange Two psychiatrists argue over the diagnosis of a black patient who claims to be the son of Idi Amin. •Tue 22–Sat 26 May, please book through Brighton Festival website

THE CAPITOL, HORSHAM 01403 750220 www.thecapitolhorsham.com Daisy Pulls It Off A story about life in an English girl’s boarding school. Daisy must fight off prejudices from snobby classmates while searching for the hidden treasure that will save the fortunes of the school. •Wed 9–Sat 12 May, please call for times and prices Two Kinds Of Magic A show of two halves: an acclaimed concert of Queen hits and then the legendary songs of Electric Light Orchestra. •Wed 9 May, please call for times and prices Big Chris Barber Jazz, swing, blues and big band sounds from 1950s legend Chris Barber. •Thu 10 May, please call for times and prices Cannon And Ball A chance to see the comedy double act who have been in showbusiness for over 40 years. •Wed 23 May, please call for times and prices Beyond The Barricade Leading theatre musical now its its record-breaking 8th year. •Fri 1 June, please call for show times and prices 36 latest 7

Truman Capote Talk Show Bob Kingdom's portrayal as the tortured, adorable and wicked writer of Breakfast At Tiffany's has been a sellout in London’s West End and offBroadway.Now making its farewell tour – audiences can share in a unique, bitchy and heart-breaking evening with the infamous Truman Capote. •Wed 30 May, please call for show times and prices

CHICHESTER FESTIVAL THEATRE 01243 781312 www.cft.org.uk The Last Confession New thriller set in one of the most highly guarded institutions: The Vatican. •Tue 8–Thu 19 May, please call for show times. £10–£32 Macbeth Patrick Stewart leads a company of actors in one of Shakespeare’s most bloody tragedies. Stewart plays Macbeth, the man who murders King and comrade in his quest for the crown. •Fri 25 May–Sat 1 Sept, please call for show times and prices Babes In Arms Rodgers and Hart, one of Broadway’s finest partnerships present Babes In Arms, with songs including ‘The Lady Is A Tramp’. One of musical comedy’s finest. •Tue 29 May–Mon 2 July, please call for show times and prices,

THE HAWTH, CRAWLEY 01293 553636 www.hawth.co.uk Augustine Set in Paris in 1890, when an outbreak of hysteria is sweeping the city. At a notorious asylum, 4000 patients are treated by the world’s greatest living doctor. He studies bodies to discover a new science of the mind. 15-year old Augustine is his favourite case. With a company of five dancers, secret stories of the body are told. •Thu 10 May, please call for times and prices Noisy Kids 2007 A lively classical concert for all the family – an ideal way to introduce youngsters age 5–12 to popular classical music. •Sat 12 May, please call for times and prices Chuckle Brothers Paul and Barry Chuckle are in trouble again as they find themselves trapped in a haunted hotel! Fun and laughter for all the family. •Mon 14 May, please call for prices, 4.15pm and 7pm Yippeee!!! The Cholmondeleys and The Featherstonehaughs in a highly theatrical spectacle not for the fainthearted! An enthralling and controversial dance. Suits ages 14+. •Thu 17 May, please call for show times prices Skin Tight A moving, magical and brutal play about love and the human condition. Elizabeth is dying and she must make the most of her time left with Tom, sharing memories and dreams. •Sat 19 May, please call for times and prices Little Howard’s Kids’ Show Big (human!) Howard is back with Little Howard – a cartoon animation in an all-new comedy show for all the family to enjoy. •Sat 19 May, please call for times and prices

KOMEDIA, BRIGHTON 01273 647100 www.komedia.co.uk Brecht On Magic Three gods from Bertolt Brecht’s plays come to earth looking for socialist culture in capitalist society. A blend of stand-up comedy, magic, ventriloquism and political commentary. •Fri 11–Wed 16 May, 6.45pm, £5/£3.50 Cassandra The bits the film ‘Troy’ left out! A huge hit on the Canadian Fringe circuit, this is a post-9/11 re-working of the story of Cassandra, who had a gift to see the future but

whose curse was not to be believed. An intense drama. •Fri 11–Sat 12 May, 9.30pm, £6/£5 Clay Time A kids play with clay, where the audience are invited to participate. Interactive theatre with amazing animals and morphing monsters based on the imagination of the young theatre-goers. Ages 3–6 years. •Sun 13 May, 12pm and 2pm, £6/£5 ‘I’m Your Late Night Evening’ – Slowly I Turn Theatre/cabaret work with two female performers, with the name‘Slowly I Turn’ based on the popular vaudeville skit. •Thu 17–Sat 19 May, 6.30pm, £5/£3 Anne Pigalle: Spirit of Ecstasy/Blank Productions: Life Studies A double bill exploring the themes of love, sex and intrigue in Anne Pigalle, plus Mark .Hewitt's evocative nudes in words with an experimental live literature production. •Sun 20 May, 6.30pm, £7/£5 The Adventures Of Tom Thumb Modern-day telling of the Grimm brothers' tale with Tom as a bedridden 80-year-old dreaming of escaping his nursing home for one last adventure. Ages 6+. •Sun 20 May, 2pm, £6/£5 Gamarjobat European premiere of Rock ‘N’ Roll Penguin, with Brighton Fringe Festival awardwinners Gamarjobat •Wed 23–Sat 26 May, please call for show times, £12.50/£10.50 Hysteria An awkward dinner date with an academic whose research is threatening his sanity and an events manager who is terrified of missing the party. Thrown into the mix is a waiter haunted by visions of global catastrophe. Irreverent humour and a fight for survival. •Thu 24–Sat 26 May, please call for show times, £12.50/£10.50 Queen Of The Slaughter Live music, dance and theatre blend in this show about a man who leaves home to fight on the front line for a cause he believes in. •Fri 25–Sun 27 May, please call for show times, £10/£5 20,000 Leagues Under The Office On a lunch break, two office workers suddenly find themselves plunging towards the centre of the earth. Sensational comedy debut from Publick Transport, filled with slapstick, parody and melodrama. •Sat 26–Sun 27 May, 8pm, £12.50 Mayday! The Musical Totally improvised musical extravaganza with The Maydays. •Sat 26–Sun 27 May, please call for show times, £8/£7

MARLBOROUGH THEATRE, BRIGHTON 07782 278521 www.marlboroughtheatre.co.uk Katy Schutte: Bring Me Einstein/Robin Fry: Rock Historian Katy Schutte explores the funny side of Hitler’s least favourite genius and Robin Fry gives us a speedy history of rock. •Fri 11 and Sat 12 May, 10.30pm, £6/£5 Hamlet Halcyon Productions present Max Day’s Hamlet, looking at the possibility of a man going his whole life without really knowing who he is. •Tue 8–Sat 12 May, 8pm, £10/£8, tickets on 07786 984900 Four Play Revised Edition Theatre Company present new plays written by Cavendish School students, performed by professional actors. •Tue 8–Thu 10 May, 6.30pm, £5 Smoke And Mirrors Three interlocking monologues based around love, loss, family and relationships, presented by Writers Block. •Sat 12–Sun 13 May and Sat 26–Sun 27 May, 4pm, £6/£5 Träuma A sketch show about a seafarer facing a dilemma,. meanwhile a zoophile raconteur realises his true love. Equal parts disturbing and ludicrous. •Fri 11–Sun 13 May, 6pm, £8/£6. Tickets on 07786 984900. Little Howard And The Magic Pencil Of Life And Death Family show. Little Howard meets his maker – The Pencil Of Creation – but unfortunately on the other end is The Rubber Of Doom. •Sat 12–Sun 13 May and Sat 26–Sun 27 May, 2pm, £5/£4. Tickets on 07786 984900. Raised In Brighton Second year acting students from Varndean College present theatre

created in response to growing up in Brighton. •Tue 15–Sun 16 May, 6pm, £5 Caviar And Chips The story of three unlikely friends who run away. Original comic routines. •Thu 17–Sun 20 May, 6pm, £8/£6 Manno in “BUTCH – A Queen's Struggle To Become A King” Part love story, part musical, Manno is tired of being the token gay guy and decides to ‘butch up‘ and get in touch with his masculine side. •Tue 15–Thu 17 May, 8pm, £8/£6 These Four Walls The tale of Lena, a young cellist in 1930s Berlin, who hid her Jewish family in her apartment. Now, there is only the cupboard to hide in... •Fri 18–Sun 20 May, 8pm (Fri and Sat) 2pm (Sat and Sun), £7/£5 Blame Us Drama-based sketches with young trainee executives with a unique approach to corporate learning. •Tue 22–Thu 24 May, 6.30pm, £5 The Elevator Man 5d Theatre Company presents a comedy about a hapless dreamer who meets a dream woman. •Tue 22–Thu 24 May, 8pm, £8/£6 Cuss The World A shocking exploration into lives of 21st century teenagers. . •Fri 25–Sun 27 May, 6pm, £7/£5 A Public Kind Of Privacy Original and intriguing political satire. A rising political star comes face to face with her past. •Fri 25–Sat 26 May, 8pm, £7/£5

NIGHTINGALE THEATRE, BRIGHTON 01273 702563 www.nightingaletheatre.co.uk Nordic Night Presented by Mara Lloyd and guests. Please contact the venue for more information. •Tue 8 May, 8pm, £8.50/£6.50 Idyll – A Comic Lament Presented by Unpacked. Please contact the venue for further information. •Wed 9–Fri 11 may, 8pm, £8.50/£6.50 The Little Girl Who Was Too Fond Of Matches Presented by Impetous Kinship. Suitable for ages 12+. Please contact the venue for further information. •Sat 12–Mon 14 May, 8pm, £8.50/£6.50 Fierce by Fireraisers. Please contact the venue for further information. •15–16 May, 8pm, £8.50/£6.50 Gospel of Matthew by George Dillon. Please contact the venue for further information. •17 May, 8pm, £8.50/£6.50 The Confessions of Punch & Judy by NACL. Please contact the venue for further information. •18–21 May, 8pm, £8.50/£6.50 Believe by Linda Marlowe. Please contact the venue for further information. •22 May, 8pm, £10/£8 Bacon by Pip Utton. Please contact the venue for further information. •23–24 May, 8pm, £8.50/£6.50

THEATRE ROYAL, BRIGHTON 08700 606650 www.theambassadors.com/theatreroyal Dublin By Lamplight Set in the filth and fury of 1904 Dublin with fading stars, rebels, whores and romantics aplenty. •Tue 8–Sat 12 May, 7.30pm plus 2.30pm Sat, £10–£20 Me: Moir Join Vic Reeves, actor, writer and comic for an evening of reminiscences on life as Jim Moir (Vic Reeves is his stage name). •Wed 16 May, 7.30pm, £10 King Arthur Henry Purcell’s opera transporting us to the trenches of World War I with an enchanting score mirroring the fantastical vision of the Western Front. •Thu 17 May, 7.30pm, £5–£22.50 The Magic Flute A reinvention of Mozart’s classic tale of heroes, damsels in distress and magical spells. •Fri 18–Sat 19 May, 7.30pm, £15–£26 Mahabharata World premiere of this new musical telling the epic story of ancient India, revealing a mythic world of conflict and beauty. •Tue 22–Sat 26 May, 7.45pm and 2.30pm Thu and Sat, £16–£23 Aida The magnificent story of war, jealousy and revenge, the doomed love of the slave girl, Aida, and the Egyptian hero, Radamesopera. •Mon 28–Sat 2 June, 7.30pm plus 2pm Sat, £14.50–£30

If you would like your event listed please email listings@thelatest.co.uk

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KIDS

EVENTS

Cook up a treat Talented local chef’s wanted for Rotary’s Young Chef Competition 2007/2008, discovers Zara Friend Filippo Berio, producers of the UK’s favourite olive oil, has announced it will be working with Rotary and Fifteen, the restaurant founded by Jamie Oliver to support Rotary’s local Young Chef Competition 2007/2008. Now in its seventh year, the competition starts locally, with individual Rotary Clubs (there are1,845 spanning the UK and Ireland) organising heats at a local venue, such as a school or college. The winners then go on to a district competition, a regional final and ultimately to the Great Britain and Republic of Ireland final. Open to budding young chefs (all of secondary school age can enter), children will have to prepare a healthy three-course meal for two people for a fixed cost, showing their ability to create great food without expensive ingredients and, crucially, to follow a healthy diet. They have a set amount of time to prepare the food, Ready Steady Cook style, for the judges. The young chefs will be judged on their healthy menu, organisational skills, hygiene, and the taste and presentation of the final dishes. A potentially life-changing event, prizes for the winners include a day working at Fifteen and a trip to Filippo Berio’s olive groves in Lucca, Tuscany. The competition is aimed at anyone who enjoys cooking or who wants to have a go, and not just for experienced young cooks. Filippo Berio’s Country Manager, Walter Zanré, explains: “Filippo Berio spends a great deal of time promoting the importance of healthy eating and simple cooking. The key reason we wanted to support Young Chef is that it was a truly ‘open’ competition that encouraged all young people to take part.” The 2008 final will be held at Westminster Kingsway College in London in April 2008, and feature a prestigious panel of experts and celebrity judges. Open to all secondary school children in the UK and Ireland. To enter, simply email your contact details to youngchef@ribi.org or contact your local Rotary Club direct and ask them about Young Chef. (To find your nearest club, look on the Rotary website www.rotary-ribi.org. Alternatively, call Robin Freeman at Rotary on 01789 765411.) Entrants’ details must be in by 30 September 2007.

Last year’s Rotary Young Chef winner

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THIS WEEK’S PREVIEWS Black Crayon Café It’s not just the kids who can have fun with crayons, as the public are invited to add their own waxwork wonder to the 300-strong Black Crayon Café collection. As part of the Open Houses, the Black Crayon Café is open every weekend throughout the Festival offering you, as the amateur artist army, a chance to contribute to the crayon collection. All efforts will be displayed throughout the Festival to inspire future recruits. Join Daniel Benians, brainchild of the Black Crayon Café. His crayon obsession began eight years ago after creating his own postcards for friends when he couldn’t find any suitably bad enough! Take part or go along and see the waxwork creations for yourself. Flat 7, 1 Clarendon Terrace, Kemp Town. Saturday 12 and Sunday 13 May, 10am–5pm, free.

Brighton Victorian Sewer Tours If there’s one thing to see a plenty of this May, it’s guided tours around our city. From a haunted pubs crawl and horror walk to Brighton’s Murders Most Foul, there is a tour everyone will enjoy. Lurking below the streets of the city, a popular attraction is Brighton’s Victorian sewers. Southern Water take visitors on a guided tour of the magnificent sewers, which are among the finest examples of civil engineering from Victorian times. Learn how the workmanship from that period still plays a vital role to make Brighton’s sewerage system one of the most efficient in Europe. Tickets for this event always sell fast and pre-booking is essential to secure a place. Brighton Victorian Sewer Tour with Southern Water. Meet under the Brighton Pier, Tuesday 8 May and Thursday 10 May, 6.30–7.30pm, also Saturday 12 May, 9.30–10.30am and 11am–12pm. Book with Chris Hazell on 01903 272606 or email chris.hazell@southernwater.co.uk

UPCOMING HIGHLIGHT Big Splash Back and bigger than ever – the Big Splash is a packed two-day fiesta of fun down at Brighton Marina on Sunday 27 and Monday 28 May. See Brighton Marina transformed into an open-air tidal wave of international street art and aqua-themed entertainment. Around the Octagon area of Brighton Marina, many ‘make and take’ workshops will be held, providing fun for all age groups. Hailing from Spain, Katraska will provide comedy, mime and music, and Picto Facto, a popular act from last year, return. In the form of two strange beings, Picto Facto come complete with inflatable backpacks on scooters, speaking cartoon. South American Teatro Pachuco creates magic with his suitcase full of surprises and a child participant from the audience, and Teatro Marionetas, the amazing frog marionette, launches into complex piano pieces with a passion. From the UK, Positive Productions bring a huge mobile dragon to entertain the masses, and The Maharaja’s Feast is a colourful spectacle not to be missed. Sunday night’s Big Splash gives an explosive adieu to Brighton Festival with the The Dragon‘s Eye show, a pyro-musical extravaganza of acrobatics and dare-devil fire stunts. The Big Splash, Brighton Marina, Sunday 27 May, 1pm–dusk, Monday 28 May, 1pm–5pm Zara Friend

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ART

See more at latest-art.co.uk HOVE MUSEUM AND ART GALLERY

O CONTEMPORARY

New Church Road, Hove 01273 290200 Paper Cuts Eight artists employ paper cutting techniques to reflect on our culture and environment. Paper cutting has been used by different cultures throughout history to mark events and religious occasions, and the delicate nature of paper relates to our vulnerability, dreams and ambitions. Until 1 July Susan Edwards Unwanted books that have been transformed into paper sculptures (see above). Until 1 July Wed–Sat 11.30am–5pm, Sun 2–5pm

Trafalgar Street, Brighton 01273 698500 John Simpson Long-awaited first show by this highly collectable artist, whose influences range from the urban to Goya and Redon. 12 May–17 June Mixed Show painting, photography and limited edition signed prints by artists such as Brian Jones, Takashi Murakami, Bridget Riley and Marcos Torres. 12 May–17 June Tue–Fri 10am–5.30pm, Sat 10am–6pm, Sun 12am–5pm

PHOENIX GALLERY NORTH LAINE PHOTOGRAPHY GALLERY Upstairs, Snooper’s Paradise, Kensington Gardens, Brighton 01273 686506 Petrusco One of the finalists from the 2006 ‘Essence of Brighton & Hove’ competition has his first solo exhibition. Until 31 May, Mon–Sat 10.15am–5.45pm, Sun 10.15am–3.45pm

Waterloo Place, Brighton 01273 603700 Double Acts A celebration and mini-survey of collaborative practice in the UK today, featuring work and new commissions by Ayling and Conroy, Karin Kihlberg and Reuben Henry, The Library Of Unwritten Books and much more. Until 9 June, Tue–Sat 11am–5pm

JENNIE RICKETTS GALLERY 8 Arundel Mews, Arundel Place, Brighton 01273 232921 Beatrice Haverich Photographs of trees from the book The Whisper Of A Million Leaves by Brighton-based Haverich, which highlights the resilience of trees despite some immense environmental challenges. Until 31 May, Tue–Fri 11am–6pm, Sat 12–6pm

WORTHING MUSEUM AND ART GALLERY

Monster happening Trafford Parsons’ mischievous work is the inaugural exhibition for the new Ink_d gallery, situated in the heart of the North Laine. With a prolific musical past as a DJ and performance artist, Trafford Parsons’ art immerses us in what has been happily described as ‘domestic terror’. Absurdist as well as quirky, his passion draws on 1960s B-movies and British popular culture. A fascination with screen-printing gives silky results that show our vulnerability, with echoes of film noir. And Godzilla. All part of his ongoing Gaia series, Trafford has produced a series of new, exclusive limited-edition screenprints and sculpture that are available at the gallery during the exhibition. Ink_d is an independently run art gallery, screenprinters and publishers based in Brighton. They exhibit work from the cream of young, up-andcoming British artists and future exhibitors include Dan Baldwin and Jimmy Cauty. Trafford Parsons, Ink_d, 96 North Road, Brighton, until 19 May, Mon–Sat 11am–6pm

ART LISTINGS UNIT 03 GALLERY

CHALK GALLERY

20 Wellington Road, Portslade 01273 417741 Barry Surtees New art gallery with opening exhibition featuring Barry Surtees’ vibrant and abstract 3D canvases, plus there is work by Patsy Palmer, Chris Ellison and Phil Tufnell. Open 11am–6pm every weekend through the festival.

North Street, Lewes 01273 474477 21 professional artists from across all media. Featuring Edith Barton – humourous and textural 3D artist. Mon–Sun 10am–5pm

BRIGHTON FISHING MUSEUM 201 Kings Rd Arches, Brighton 01273 723064 More Plastic Than Plankton Lou McCurdy’s installation is created from plastic found on one Brighton beach in one year. Supported by Surfers Against Sewage and Marine Conservation Society. Until 22 May, Mon–Sun, 10am–5pm

BRIGHTON MUSEUM AND ART GALLERY Church Street, Brighton 01273 290200 Rogues Gallery: Images of Crime and Punishment Display of prints featuring crimes and punishments, mainly from the 18th and 19th centuries, including enemies of the state and real-life murderers. Until 30 September Nicholas Sinclair – Six Public Telephones Six dramatic photographs taken in a subway station in Budapest by a local photographer. Until 5 August Stagestruck! 200 years of the Theatre Royal by way of vintage prints and photos, costumes, props and reconstructions of ‘special effects’ of the 19th-century stage. Until 2 Sep Tues 10am–7pm, Wed–Sat 10am–5pm, Sun 2–5pm

Chapel Road, Worthing 01903 221448 Luke Dickinson Sensual stone carvings. Until 23 Jun Water, Water Everywhere 40 treasures from the museum’s stores, exploring watery themes. Until 16 Jun Tue–Sat 10am–5pm

Charles Kemble as Hamlet. Original poster exhibited at Brighton Museum as part of Stagestruck!

Out Now

CRANE KALMAN, BRIGHTON Kensington Gardens, Brighton 01273 697096 Mary McCartney A photographic study of the Royal Ballet after hours. Until 17 June, Mon–Sat 10am–6pm, Sun 10.30am–4.30pm

GREY AREA Lower Ground Floor, 31 Queens Road, Brighton Bob & Roberta Smith Last weekend, the artist was launched into the sea, tied to the mast of a ‘floating studio’. He then performed readings of the stories painted on it. The floating studio has now been transported to the gallery and is exhibited with a film of the performance. Until 27 May, Wed-Sun, 1-5pm

INK_D 96 North Road, Brighton 01273 645299 Trafford Parsons New gallery and screenprinting studio with debut exhibition ‘Tentacles Of Terror’ by Trafford Parsons. His work features Godzilla and Star Wars characters set in improbable situations. It’s mad, irreverent, B-movie stuff. Until 19 May, Mon–Sat 11am-6pm

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LISTINGS

YOUR COMPLETE LISTINGS GUIDE STARTS HERE

latestlistings The hottest tickets for the week ahead 8–14 May

Sonic Boom Six

performance in the opulent surroundings of the Royal Pavilion. Royal Pavilion, Brighton, 8 and 10 May, 7.30pm, £45

★EVENT★

Streets Of Brighton

Chris Difford

★MUSIC★ Chris Difford

★MUSIC★

Squeeze lyricist responsible for ‘Cool For Cats’, ‘Up The Junction’ et al. He’s now based in Brighton and a solo act, although he will be returning to the Squeeze fold later in the year for a reunion tour. Komedia, Brighton, Tuesday 8 May, 8.30pm, £12.50

Sonic Boom Six Big-sounding and popular Manchester band influenced by The Clash, Specials et al, mixing up ragga, hip hop, bhangra, dub, punk and jungle. Like the Notting Hill Carnival with punk attitude. Local dynamite ska band Los Albertos should kick things off in true skanking style. Engine Room, Brighton, Sunday 13 May, 7.30pm, £7

★EVENT★

Gordon Brown, The Man Behind The Politics The man most likely to succeed Tony Blair talks about his life and personal motivations in his transformation from Scottish minister’s son to hot contender for Number Ten. Brighton Dome, Sunday 13 May, 3pm, £10

★STAND-UP★ Robin Ince

★STAND-UP★

Sean Hughes

The comic, actor, novelist and panelist shows us why he won the Perrier Award aged only 24, almost 18 years ago. Udderbelly, Brighton, Saturday 12 May, 7pm, £12/£10

A rolling programme of events, plays and installations in locations across the city including the North Laine and Pavilion Gardens. Includes a new open-air multimedia extravaganza, Play Rec(ord), from acclaimed French company Komplex Kapharnaum on the old Brighton Station car park site – now the New England development – at 8.30pm daily. Locations around Brighton, Thursday 10 May evening, Friday 11 May and Saturday 12 May, 1.30–5.30pm, free

★MUSIC★ La Traviata

Venician opera group Ensemble Music A Palazzo present Verdi’s classic opera as a promenade

British Comedy Award nominee 2006. Time Out Comedy Award Winner 2006. Chortle Award Winner 2006. The man just can’t help but be recognised for his laughter. Fresh from touring with genius Ricky Gervais – here’s Robin. Marlborough Theatre, Brighton, Wednesday 9 May and Monday 14 May, 10.30pm/9.30pm, £6/£5 For venue details see page 50 latest 7 41

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Need a music video making or a gig filmed?

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Under review Recent shows with a sprinkling of home-grown talent

Wendy McAngus

Call Artforms Productions Ltd - The production company behind all the filming for Latest 7, Latest Homes and Latest Records. We’re always making professional looking DVDs/music videos/ promotional films at the most affordable prices. Whether you’re rock, indie, hip-hop or folk, we will create the right video for you. All budgets catered for – from glossy MTV-style videos to filming pub gigs for your myspace page. Ring Stef now for a quote and examples of our work.

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sharp witty lyrics they were excellent scene setters for a great night out. Komedia, Friday 20 April ✌✌✌✌

Midlake

Comic Boom These fledgling comics must know they are due for take off. Sublime compere, Jo Enright introduced an eclectic bunch, starting with brilliantly outraged everyman Paul McCaffrey, Canadian neurotic Elizabeth Kuyper and reality-twisting cheeky genius Chris Pacey. The next section brought ukulele-toting gagsmith Katy Schutte, charming dour thinker Neil Topley and hedonistic Aussie Mum, Pam Ford. Top standup Simon Evans, driven by the competition, was so funny, we demanded an encore. This is a consistently hilarious night out, featuring new comedians due for higher things. Watching them take flight felt great. Komedia, Wednesday 25 April ✌✌✌✌✌ James Holland

Midlake Four months after hearing the song ‘Head Home’ for the first time courtesy of Radio 1’s Edith Bowman, I head to the Concorde 2, a down-to-earth setting that represents Brighton perfectly. It’s the ideal venue to see Midlake – a

Texan five-piece, whose songs contain echoes of Radiohead and Travis and, according to singer/songwriter Tim Smith, are influenced by 70s rock. To pick any single moment from the evening would be wrong. The music flowed effortlessly through and beyond the singles ‘Roscoe’ and ‘Head Home’. Do yourself a favour, take a few minutes from your day and listen to Midlake. You won’t be sorry. Concorde 2, Thursday 12 April ✌✌✌✌✌ Luke Drysdale

Babyhead + Dates The eight beige-suited members of Babyhead exploded on to the stage like a modern-day Madness, whipping the crowd into a bobbing frenzy with precision rhythms and gyratory ensemble dance moves. Babyhead has taken the Two Tone template and updated it for the 21st century with rappy interludes and gangsta poses. This lively Friday party at the Komedia was opened by local boys, Dates, fronted by grown-up Dennis The Menace, Bob Grover. With their powerful guitar riffs and stiletto-

The Maccabees Brighton’s biggest hope for 2007 are a band keeping in the Brighton tradition. What do I mean by that? Well, there’s a strong sense of fun with them, as befits what must be the most fun place in Britain. Also, they inhabit a slightly leftfield world, despite being lumped in with the current crop of razorsharp, stop-start indie type bands. Their artistic leanings (from the band’s artwork right through to their learn-as-we-go-along musical ethic) sits perfectly within the experimental leanings of the city. Live, they kick ass – powerful buzzsaw guitar rhythms providing the foundation for an original and melodic sound which has their home crowd purring with appreciation. Old Market, Wednesday 18 April ✌✌✌✌✌ Jeff Hemmings

Zoe Lewis Rottingdean’s prodigal daughter returned from her Cape Cod exile for a night of classy, feel-good cabaret in league with the Ukes Of Hazard. Coming across like a tomboy Joyce Grenfell, Lewis blended bongo-powered Cuban numbers such as ‘Gringo’ with piano blues, torch songs and jazz. A naturally engaging storyteller, she drew us in with funny and poignant tales of her childhood, travels in the USA, an elephant orchestra in Thailand and a trip to Bruges with her 93year-old mother. Her rapport with the audience was exemplary, even if half of them were old school friends and bridgeplaying chums of her mother. Komedia, Thursday 19 April ✌✌✌✌ Wendy McAngus

The Maccabees

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tuesday 8 Chris Difford, Komedia, 8.30pm

dutchtub at Brighton Festival www.dutchtub.info

0800 0121795

Live music Bunny Rabbit Banging electro-pop from NYC. Playing as part of Boogaloo Stu’s Calvacade of Pop night. Po Na Na, 9.30pm, £4/£3 Chris Difford Squeeze lyricist responsible for ‘Cool For Cats’, ‘Up The Junction’ et al. Now based in Brighton and a solo act, though he will be returning to Squeeze later in the year for a reunion tour. Komedia, 8.30pm, £12.50 King Size Slim Contemporary boogie blues. Arthouse, 8.30pm, free Little Hellfire Club Acoustic music and comedy showcase. Cella, 7.30pm, £5 Nick Pynn’s Box Of Acoustic Delights Multi-string instrumentalist plays two solo shows and two with guests (tonight it’s Arthur Brown, and on 12th it’s Boothby Graffoe) as part of his four Festival Fringe gigs. Bom-Bane’s Restaurant, 9pm, £7/£5 Open mic Brunswick, 8pm, free She Said! Brighton’s favourite noir country rockabilly band have a new single out and, as usual, a bagful of heart-wrenching weepies. Udderbelly, 7pm, £8/£6 Ted Barnes Long-term collaborator with Beth Orton, Barnes’ seven-piece pocket orchestra of cellos, trombones, violins and piano are matched by his sweet melancholia. Pavilion Theatre, 1pm, £7.50

Bars and clubs Arc Expelled. Multi-genre student mash-up. 10.30pm-3am, £2/£1 before 10:30pm Audio Snide. Indie rock tunes old and new at this super-cool night for those with very tight jeans. 10pm–2am, £2 Belushi’s Revision. Student night with drink promos. 9pm–3am, free with NUS card Caroline Of Brunswick Quiz. 8.30pm, £1 Casablanca Tequila Tuesday. Party tunes with DJ Scotty Le Funk and that oh-so-potent wormy beverage at just £1 a shot. Yikes. 10.30pm–3am, free Creation S.E.X. It stands for ‘students expect xtra’. Very clever wordplay there. It’s a big night of alcohol-fuelled dancefloor mayhem in exile from the Event 2 which is currently being renovated. 10pm–2am, £3/free before 11pm Funky Buddha Lounge Kinky Robot. Various shades of house, electro, breaks and techno. 10.30pm–3am, £3/free before 11pm The Jazz Place Roots Garden. Reggae and roots sounds all night long. 10pm–2am, check with venue before travelling. ➧ Please See our venue directory for details

£3.50/£2/2.50 Ocean Rooms Sunset Sessions. Funky house behaviour with drinks promos and other wacky stuff. £3/£2/free before 11pm Po Na Na Cavalcade Of Pop. With the everpopular Boogaloo Stu. Bunny Rabbit play live (See Live music). 9.30pm–3.30am, £4 Suga Qube Industry. A weekly blow-out for the hard-working bar workers and door staff of our beloved city. The slack ones can go too. 9pm–2am, free The Zap Smash Hits. DJs Sean Quinn and Mr P throw out some top pop classics to a crowd of tune-hungry drunkards. Great fun. 10pm–3am £3/£2/free before 11pm

Hamlet Halcyon Productions present Max Day’s Hamlet. Marlborough Theatre, 8pm, £10/£8, tickets on 07786 984900 The Last Confession New thriller set in one of the most highly guarded institutions: The Vatican. Chichester Festival Theatre, please call for show times. £10–£32 The Merchant Of Venice One of Shakespeare’s best-known plays. Book on www.brightonfestivalfringe.org.uk. Brighton Little Theatre, 7.45pm, £7.50/£8.50 Nordic Night Presented by Mara Lloyd and guests. Please contact the venue for more information. Nightingale Theatre, 8pm, £8.50/£6.50

Gay

Comedy

Bulldog Kruz. Strictly men only night, with DJ Justin K playing the latest dance music. 11pm–2am, free Legends Dance Toxic. Selected drinks £2 each. 11pm–4am, free Marine Tavern Nat’s Quiz Night. 9pm Marlborough Ladies’ Night. Open till 12am Queen’s Arms The Crooners Lounge. Piano bar with complimentary sandwiches. 2.30–11.30pm, free R-Bar Student night. Discounted tickets for Revenge. 9pm–2am, free Revenge Student night. Drinks from £1.50. 10.30pm–3am, NUS free all night/others free before 11 then £3 Vavoom Your choice videos. Open till 4am V2 club Music videos upstairs and karaoke downstairs until 12am. 10pm–late, free The Zone Patrick plays piano. 1pm–12am, free

Slaughterhouse Live’s TV Spazzatura Winners of Brighton Fringe Best Comedy Show 2005, the Comedy Store’s character cabaret returns. Joogleberry Playhouse, 8pm, £6/£5

Theatre Caesar Twins Preview. The stars of La Clique bring their action-packed, gravity-defying show to Brighton. The Udderbelly, 9pm, £10 Dublin By Lamplight Set in the filth and fury of 1904 Dublin, fading stars, rebels, whores and romantics feature in this compelling concoction of vaudeville and tragi-comedy. Theatre Royal Brighton, 7.30pm, £10–£20 Four Play Revised Edition Theatre Company present new plays written by Cavendish School students, performed by professional actors. Marlborough Theatre, 6.30pm, £5 Futurology: A Global Revue A darkly comic show of dance and cabaret, looking at global issues.Brighton Dome, 8pm, £15–£18

Events Brighton Murders Most Foul Explore the trail of the ‘trunk murders’. Meet Trafalgar Place, 8–9.20pm, £5.50 Carmen Mesa Seville-based five-piece flamenco group featuring dancer Carmen Mesa accompanied by singers, guitar and percussion. Komedia, 8pm, £15 Visions Of Our Future: Science, Our Future And A Tale Of Gay Sheep Jenny Gristock of Science And Technology Policy Research talks about scientific developments and what they mean for society. The Jubilee Library, 6–7.30pm, £3 Visions Of Our Future: Reality Literature Professor Nicholas Royle explores the current state of literature and the possibilities of the word ‘reality’. Brighton And Sussex Medical School Lecture Theatre, 6.30–7.30pm, free Sushi Making Classes At Moshi Moshi Join Moshi Moshi’s master chefs and learn the art of cutting fish and the four main types of sushi. Other course dates: 10, 15 and 17 May. Moshi Moshi, 3pm–5pm, £50 World War II School Air Raid Shelter Tour Experience what life was like for children in Whitehawk during WWII in the air raid shelters. Whitehawk Primary School, 4.30–5.30pm, £1.50/£1.20/50p, under 4s go free

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wednesday 9 £3/£2 before 11pm, or free entry if dressed to theme Vavoom Your choice videos. Happy hour till 6pm. Open till 4am V2 Club Music videos upstairs and karaoke downstairs until 12am. 10pm–late

The Hat, Komedia, 9pm,

IS NOW OPEN

Theatre

1st FLOOR COCKTAIL BAR

BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE FREEMASONS 38-39 WESTERN RD, HOVE

to reserve a table please call

01273 732043

Live music

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Fri 18 May, Lo Lounge (Under The Hilton Brighton Metropole, Kings Road) 9pm–2am £5 www.losalbertos.co.uk

+ The Happiness

info@thefreemasonstavern.com

1st Annual Harmonium Festival Of Brighton Lorraine Bowen and Jane Bom-Bane heave their electric and pedal-powered harmoniums (and mechanical hats!) into the restaurant. BomBanes’s Cafe Restaurant, 8pm, £7/£5 Circle Of Friends Acoustic night with local singer-songwriters. Cosmopolitan Bar, 8.30pm, free Czech National Symphony Orchestra Conducted by Libor Pesek and featuring works by Dvorak and Janacek. Brighton Dome, 8pm, £28.50–£10 Day Of The Jackal + The Rubbish White Noise rock night featuring great local bands. Pressure Point, 8pm, £4/£3 Echo Union + Scenic Routes + Daniel Sanders Acoustic duo influenced by Counting Crows and Alanis Morrissette. Cella, 7.30pm, £5 Ensemble Scratch The Surface A contemporary music group bringing together musicians, composers, video artists and choreographers. Sallis Benney, 7.30pm, £7/£5 From Burgundy To Paris: The Pastores Ensemble French early music from Dufay to Couperin, performed on lute, mandolin, recorders and viols. St John The Baptist Church, 7.30pm, £8/£6 Glavion + Grace Solero + The Lazer Crabs Local indie bands. Pav Tav, 8pm, free The Hat Mixing storytelling with pop hooks, gospel-style harmonies and cinematic music, this multi-talented foursome are one of Brighton’s most popular bands. Komedia, 9pm, £8/£6 The Ian Price Quartet Popular jazz band – orginals and standards. Brunswick, 8pm, £3 The Legendary Bee’s Mouth Open Mic Arthouse, 8.30pm, free Maria Taylor Soft acoustic strumming, velvety textures and fragile tones from this seductive singer-songwriter whose second album Lynn Teeter Flower is winning wide acclaim. Hope, 8pm, price to be confirmed Open mic London Unity, 9pm, free Praise Bob Brighton-based singer-songwriters, including Kit Ashton and David Hoffbrand, pay tribute to Bob Dylan. Komedia, 8.30pm, £6/£4 Sarah Tynan & Stephanie Marshall The soprano Tynan is joined by mezzo singer Marshall, both acclaimed English National Opera soloists. They’ll be accompanied by pianist Anna Tilbrook for a recital of songs and duets by Debussy, Strauss and Britten. Pavilion Theatre, 1pm, £7.50 Thriller – Live Fully choreographed Michael

Jackson and Jackson 5 tribute. Brighton Centre, 7.30pm, £27.50/£19.50 The Twang Recent NME cover stars with a swaggering, big-hearted approach to their indie rock. Concorde 2, 7.30pm, £8.50 Wednesday Night Originals Weekly showcase of local bands. Portland, 7.30pm, £3

Bars and clubs Arc Don’t Tell Ya Mum And Dad. Intelligent dance tunes with bits of electro, space crunk and indie in the mix. 10pm–late, £3/£2 Audio Supercharged. Top breaks and beats action from the one and only Krafty Kuts. 10.30pm–2.30am £3-£5 The Beach Born In The 80s. The decade we all all love to hate. Or is it hate to love? Either way, you’ll hear probably hear some Wham. 10pm–late, £3/80p Brighton Gloucester The Pit. Gnarly rock and metal for those who like their dancefloor aggressive and sweaty. 10pm–2am, £3/£2 Casablanca Fun Ki Disco. Two floors of upbeat funkery. Upstairs is a Spanish theme – buy Sangria and get free tapas. 9.30pm–2am, £2/£1/free before 11pm Funky Buddha Lounge Sabotage. Indie rock stylings for lovers of all things guitar-based. 10.30pm–3am, £2 Honeyclub No Nonsense. Eclectic mix for students and the official night of the University of Sussex Students’ Union Sports Federation. £2.50–£5, 10pm–3am The Juggler Quiz. General and themed rounds. Prizes available. 8.30pm KooKlub Current and classic indie at this new night. 10pm–3am, £3 Suga Qube Funk N Stuff. Raregroove, funk, disco and house from DJ Dave Morpeth. Free Volks Access. Drum and bass with Envy plus hip hop from Afro Dons. 10pm–late, £3

Gay Bulldog BBB. It stands for Bulldog Brighton Bears. 11pm–2am, free Caledonian 2 Dave Lynn – cabaret. 9.30pm Marlborough Quiz. Prizes for winners. 8pm The PV Quiz. 8pm Queen’s Arms Midweek Cabaret Party. With Raychel Harvey Jones and DJ Andy B. 9.00pm R-Bar Go Double Baby. From 9pm, any double just £1 extra. Open till 2am Revenge Strut your stuff at 1970s heaven. Selected drinks just £1.50. 10.30pm–3am,

Caesar Twins Preview. The stars of La Clique bring their action-packed, gravity-defying show to Brighton. The Udderbelly, 9pm, £10 Daisy Pulls It Off A story about life in an English girls’ boarding school. The Capitol, Horsham, please call for times and prices Dublin By Lamplight Set in the filth and fury of 1904 Dublin, fading stars, rebels, whores and romantics feature in this compelling concoction of vaudeville and tragicomedy. Theatre Royal Brighton, 7.30pm, £20–£10 Four Play Revised Edition Theatre Company presents new plays written by Cavendish School students, performed by professional actors. Marlborough Theatre, 6.30pm, £5 Futurology: A Global Revue A darkly comic show of dance and cabaret, looking at global issues. Brighton Dome, 8pm, £18–£15 Hamlet Halcyon Productions presents Max Day’s Hamlet. Marlborough Theatre, 8pm, £10/£8, tickets on 07786 984900 Idyll – A Comic Lament Presented by Unpacked. Please contact the venue for further information. Nightingale Theatre, 8pm, £8.50/£6.50 The Last Confession New thriller set in one of the most highly guarded institutions: The Vatican. Chichester Festival Theatre, please call for show times. £32–£10 Measure For Measure Shakespeare’s classic play, first performed in 1604. Brighton Unitarian Church, 7pm, £7/£6 The Merchant Of Venice Another of Shakespeare's best-known plays. Book at www.brightonfestivalfringe.org.uk. Brighton Little Theatre, 7.45pm, £8.50/£7.50 That’s The Way To Do It Punch and Judy are back in the 21st century. Grotesque and politically incorrect as ever. Traditional clowning, masks and comedy. Suit ages 12+. Brighton Media Centre, 6.30pm, £8/£6 Two Kinds Of Magic A show of two halves: Queen hits and then the legendary songs of Electric Light Orchestra. The Capitol, Horsham, please call for times and prices

Comedy Tina C – If You Can’t Live Without Me (Why Weren’t You Dead When I Met You?) Country music icon and presidential ‘hopeful’ for 2008. Udderbelly, 7pm, £12/£10 Robin Ince Fresh from touring with Ricky Gervais, Robin Ince brings his one-man show to a more intimate venue. Marlborough Theatre, 10.30pm, £6/£5 Late Night Raw Raw’s usual mix of comedy, music and spoken word, later into the night. Joogleberry, 11pm, £3/free to Fringe performers

Events The Arts Debate – Have Your Say Bring along your questions to the panel of experts as they debate the future of public funding for the arts. Jubilee Library, 7–8.30pm, free Lewes Ghosts And Graveyards Exploring local graveyards as the sun sets. Meet Lewes Castle entrance, 8–9.20pm, £5.50 Michael Robin’s Historic Central Brighton Tour Visit historic stables, Georgian villas and St Michael’s. Meet outside St Nicholas Church, 4–5.15pm, £6/£6.50 World War II School Air Raid Shelter Tour Experience what life was like for children in Whitehawk during WWII in the air raid shelter. Whitehawk Primary School, 4.30-5.30pm, £1.50/£1.20/50p, under 4s go free.

check with venue before travelling. ➧ Please See our venue directory for details

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thursday 10 Live music Alexander Sitkovestsky Child violin prodigy who became a star pupil at the Yehudi Menuhin School. He’ll be joined by pianist (and his mother!) Olga Sitkovestsky to perform works by Franck, Bach and Sarasate. Pavilion Theatre, 1pm, £7.50 Are You Taking The Mic? Original performers only, no covers for this open mic night. Leave your Damien Rice songbook at home. Register by emailing andersdmoney@yahoo.co.uk. Providence, 8pm, free Chris Barber Band Traditional jazz and blues from this legendary bandleader and trombonist – he set up his first band in 1949! The Capitol, Horsham, 8pm, price to be confirmed The Diago Parada Trio + The Hot Club of Belleville Two superb gypsy and 20s swing bands from Brighton, playing as part of Club Chat Noir. Sussex Arts Club, 8pm, £8/£6 Dizzy Gillespie All-Star Big Band One of the great trumpeters, band leaders, composers and arrangers of the 20th century, he was also responsible (along with Charlie Parker) for the seismic shift from swing to bebop. This 18-piece tribute band features former Gillespie alumni. Dome, 8pm, £22.50–£18 Falling Victim + Anxiety + The Rubbish Young emo rockers headline. Pav Tav, 8pm, free J’M & H Live funky remix. Arthouse, 8.30pm, free Joey Nightmare + Lords Spiritual Cable Club local band night. Pressure Point, 8pm, £4/£3 John Crampton One of the best acoustic slide and steel guitarists around. Brunswick, 8pm, £3 The loveGods Now based in Paris, Déah and Arty return to Brighton as part of the Festival Fringe. Very popular, their music moves from the fragile and delicate to fiery intensity with influences including Pink Floyd and Led Zeppelin. Komedia, 8.30pm, £8/6 Mark Wright Band Acoustic, country and folk with Mark and guests. Cella, 8pm, £5/£4 Mr Eugene And Nickova’s Secret A unique ‘interactivation’ between poet/troubadour Mr Eugene’s violin playing and Nickova’s expressive painting. Caroline of Brunswick, 8pm, £6/£5 Nick Pynn’s Box Of Acoustic Delights See 8th. Bom-Banes’s Cafe Restaurant, 9pm, £7/£5 Open mic Singer-songwriters welcome. Hare & Hounds, 9pm, free Roy Bailey Veteran performer on the folk circuit. A Lewes Folk Club event. Royal Oak, Lewes, 8pm, free The Tacet Ensemble Contemporary chamber music performing pieces by Michael Finnissy, Alison Kay, and a world premiere by Barry Mills. Friends Meeting House, 7.30pm, £6/£4

Bars and clubs Audio Dynamite Boogaloo. Legendary pop/kitsch blow-out, popular with the students. 10pm–2am, £4/£3 Bar Bamboogy Live DJs. 8pm–2am, free The Beach Big Toons. House, dance and R’n‘B classics with The Brighton Allstars. 10.30pm–3am, £4/free before 11pm Brighton Gloucester Mad For It. Indie anthems, record release celebrations and more boozey behaviour from the hard-working Lout Promotions team. 10pm–2am £3/£1.50 Casablanca Sambanation. Sunny Brazilian flavours. 9.30pm-2am £2/£1 Cosmopolitan Bar Spinner Stays On. If the DJ’s good enough to stay on, let them know! If not, vote them off. Don’t throw cabbages, hot Bovril or gravel though, you might damage the decks. 7.30pm, free Creation Floorfillers. Pop encounters of the very biggest and boldest kind. 10pm–2am £2/90p Funky Buddha Lounge Warm Your Soul. Classic soul and funk for a slinky night out. 10pm–3am, £2/free Honeyclub Contagious. Classic house. 10pm–late £4/£2 Pav Tav The Resurrection. Indie for the masses check with venue before travelling. ➧ Please See our venue directory for details

in this popular, centrally located sweatbox. 10pm–2am £3/£1.50 Suga Qube Weekend warm-up with a mix of soulful and slamming beats from Lee Garrett and friends. 9pm–2am, free Sussex Arts Club Club Chat Noir – Festival Special. 1920s swing with live bands and DJs. 8pm–2am, £8/£6 Volks Totally Techno. Pounding techno and tough house from Lisa Peaches. 11pm–6am, £4/£3 The Zap Chopper Choons. Kitsch and cool 70s grooves, hip hop and proper R and B tunes for discerning dancers. And sweaty students. 10pm–3am £4/free for NUS

Gay Bulldog Cabaret Night. Hosted by Joe MC Joe. 11pm–2am, free Charles Street Bar Mad Cow. Super-cheap drinks at this popular night. 8–11pm, £1 Charles Street Club Religion. House night hosted by Joan Bond with DJs Richard Jones and Tony B on the decks. 10.30pm–3am, £5/£4 flyer/£3 NUS. HQ Quiz and gameshow with Lady James. 8pm–2am, free Legends Dance Squeeze. 11pm–4am, free Marine Tavern Man Trap. 12pm–12am Marlborough Free pool 6pm onwards, then killer pool at 8pm. The PV Cocktails v Clittails. 6pm–9pm Queen’s Arms Shag Tag! Plus karaoke with Spice. 9pm R-Bar Cabaret with Maisie Trollette and John Bruzon. 9:30pm Revenge Manzone. Back by popular demand! Strictly men only. Stripper from midnight. 10.30pm–3am, £2 Star Inn Big Dave’s Quiz. Open till midnight Vavoom Thirsty Thursday. Music videos all night long. Open till 4am V2 Club Music videos upstairs and karaoke downstairs until 12am. Open 10pm–late

Theatre Augustine Darkin Ensemble present a piece of dance theatre set in a Paris asylum in 1890.The Hawth, Crawley, please call for times and prices Big Chris Barber Jazz, swing, blues and big band sounds from 1950s legend Chris Barber. The Capitol, Horsham, please call for times and prices Caesar Twins The stars of La Clique bring their action-packed, gravity-defying show to Brighton. The Udderbelly, 9pm, £14/£16 Daisy Pulls It Off A story about life in an English girls’ boarding school. The Capitol, Horsham, please call for times and prices Dublin By Lamplight Set in the filth and fury of 1904 Dublin, fading stars, rebels, whores and romantics feature in this compelling concoction of vaudeville and tragicomedy. Theatre Royal Brighton, 7.30pm, £20–£10 Four Play Revised Edition Theatre Company present new plays written by Cavendish School

students, performed by professional actors. Marlborough Theatre, 6.30pm, £5 Futurology: A Global Revue A darkly comic show of dance and cabaret, looking at global issues. Brighton Dome, 8pm, £18–£15 Hamlet Halcyon Productions presents Max Day’s Hamlet. Marlborough Theatre, 8pm, £10/£8, tickets on 07786 984900 Idyll – A Comic Lament Presented by Unpacked. Please contact the venue for further information. Nightingale Theatre, 8pm, £8.50/£6.50 The Last Confession New thriller set in one of the most highly guarded institutions: The Vatican. Chichester Festival Theatre, please call for show times. £32–£10 Measure For Measure Shakespeare’s classic play, first performed in 1604. Brighton Unitarian Church, 7pm, £7/£6 The Merchant Of Venice Another of Shakespeare’s best-known plays. Book at www.brightonfestivalfringe.org.uk. Brighton Little Theatre, 7.45pm, £8.50/£7.50 That’s The Way To Do It Punch and Judy are back in the 21st century. Grotesque and politically incorrect as ever. Traditional clowning, masks and comedy. Suit ages 12+. Brighton Media Centre, 6.30pm, £8/£6

Comedy Mark Thomas The controversial and intelligent funnyman from TV’s The Mark Thomas Product. Concorde 2, 8pm, £14/£10 Tina C – If You Can't Live Without Me (Why Weren't You Dead When I Met You?) Country music icon and presidential ‘hopeful’ for 2008. Udderbelly, 7pm, £12/£10 100% Recycled Improv Comedy Anything can happen – it’s improvised! Hobgoblin, 8.20pm, £5/£4

Events Art and Craft Classes For children aged 18 months to five years old. A fun weekly arts and craft class, letting youngsters explore their creativity. Malling Community Centre, Lewes. For more info/to book please call 01273 488616. Brighton Coding Dojo Night Exploring group programming in a social and friendly environment. Ages 18+. InQbate, University Of Sussex. 7–10pm, £3/£2 Global Development: Small World, Same Difference? Looking at the food we eat. How can we eat ethically, addressing the rights of migrant workers? Jubilee Library, 6.30–8pm, £3 Lewes Horror Walk Delve into local history with gruesome accounts of executions, plagues and disasters over the years, including the Jack The Ripper murders. Meet at Lewes Castle entrance, 8–9.30pm, £5.50 World War II School Air Raid Shelter Tour Experience what life was like for children in Whitehawk during WWII in the air raid shelter. Whitehawk Primary School, 5.30–6.30pm, £1.50/£1.20/50p, under 4s go free

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friday 11 Caesar Twins, The Udderbelly, 9pm

Live music

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Actress Hands + Le Reno Amps Local indie pop band with new album ready to go. Engine Room, 7.30pm, £5.50 Byron Wallen’s Indigo A Brighton Jazz Club event. Sussex Arts Club, 7.30pm, £14/£12 Café Noir Cabaret night featuring Mandy & The Magdalenas. Brunswick, 8pm, £8/£6 The David Ingledew Band + The People of Brighton + Camine A night of Beatles songs from this jazz sextet which includes Herbie Flowers. The People of Brighton is a visual project, filmed on the streets of Brighton. Friends Meeting House, 7.30pm, £10/£8 Fretful Federation Mandolin Orchestra Concert Their 12th consecutive festival appearance. St George’s Church, 8pm, £8/£5 John Hylton – Real Diamond Neil Diamond tribute. Hove Centre, 8pm, £16/£14 Kris Drever A star of the new generation of Scottish folksters. Pavilion Theatre, 1pm, £7.50 Les Ouefs + Rubylux + The Youg Guns Local rock bands. Providence, 8pm, £1 Mika Scissor Sisters-esque pop geezer. Re-scheduled. Concorde 2, 7.30pm, SOLD OUT Nick Pynn’s Box Of Acoustic Delights See 8th. Bom Bane’s Restaurant, 9pm, £7/£5 Nick Stuart & Shauna Parker Country duo. Neptune, 8.30pm, free Ralfe Band + Restlesslist + Brian Jacket Letdown The Ralfe Band are a Balkaninfluenced music box of folk delights. Restlesslist are a harsh guitar/electronics threepiece. Audio, 7.30pm, £5 Seany Clarke & The Hedz Charismatic Hardkandy vocalist doing his more soulful pop thing. Joogleberry, 8pm, £7 Shooglenifty Edinburgh sextet who marry traditional Celtic rhythms with contemporary grooves. Komedia, 8.30pm, £12/£10 Smokestack Superb blues fusion from this hard-rockin’ trio. Arthouse, 8.30pm, free Stephen Fretwell Scunthorpe-born singersongwriter whose 2004 debut, Magpie, was a big success. Red Roaster, 8pm, price tbc Two Spot Gobi + Silvermaker + Friday Night Hero Trio of Brighton bands, spanning rock, funk and indie. Ocean Rooms, 8pm, £4/£3 The Vibrators + Afterbirth From the class of ‘76, The Vibrators seem to prove the adage that ‘old punks never die’ Pressure Point, 8pm, £6 Wizz Jones Folk and blues performer. The Beachcomber, Seaford, 8.15pm, price tbc

46 latest 7

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Bars and clubs Arc Candy. Hip hop, soul and ragga featuring resident DJs Da Playaz and guests. 10.30pm–4am, £8/£5 before 12am Ali Cats Flow. Electro, breaks and booty bass in this subterranean hangout. 8pm–12am, free Aqua Bar 70s, 80s and 90s night. 9pm–2am, free Audio Shogun. Drum ‘n’ bass from DJ Friction and MC Dynamite. 11pm–4am, £8/£6 The Beach Glasshouse presents Ibiza With Love. Electro house. 10.30pm–5am, £8/£7/£6 Belushi’s Madness. Sexy chart cheese and club classics. £2 selected drinks until midnight. 10pm–3am, free Brighton Gloucester Kick Out The Jams. Buttkicking indie. 10.30pm–2am, £4/£3 Casablanca Mirror Ball. Funky disco, as you would expect from the name. 10.30pm–3am, £6/£5/£4 Corncorde 2 Full And Mighty Nations. Heavy

dub reggae with guest MCs and DJs. 10pm–3am, £6/£5 Core Club Mo’ Money. Hip hop with Bill Blast. 10pm–4am, £8/£5 Cosmopolitan All Time Top 100. One of Brighton’s most diverse music-focused nights out. 8pm–2am, free Creation Popdaparty. Three rooms of commercial tunery to cop off to. 9pm–3am, £5/free before 11pm Engine Room Lowlife. Rock and indie mix in this loveably scuzzy club. 10.30pm-4am, £5 Enigma Resistance. Goth and industrial. 11pm–3am, £5/4 Funky Buddha Lounge Thank Funk It’s Friday. Funk and soul with DJs Sean Quinn and Stuart Ross. 10pm–3am, £8/£6 before 11pm Funky Buddha Lounge 3am. House music for night owls with DJ Ash Huntington. 3–8am, £8/£5 Funky Fish Funk, soul and classic rock ‘n’ roll with a party vibe. 10pm–3am, £6/£5 before 11 Honeyclub Time presents DJ Sneak. Hedonistic house bash featuring the portly king of disco cut-ups. 10pm–4am, £10 Jazz Place Basement Soul. Sexy sounds for a smooth night out. 10.30pm–3am, £5/£4 Kabuki Kabuki Fridays. Mike Panteli plays urban soul and pumping house. 11pm–late, £7/£6 Komedia It Came From The Sea. Experimental disco. 11pm–3am, £6/£5 KooKlub Something Of Nothing. Fun club night with R’n‘B and house music. 10pm–3am, £4/£3 Pav Tav Rip It Up. Indie anthems to kickstart a weekend of excess. 10pm–2am, £4/£3 Po Na Na Somewhere In The Universe There Must Be Something Better Than Man. Electro, pop and indie floorfillers. 10pm–3am, £5/£3 Suga Qube Electronica of all kinds from the Suga Qube Allstars team. 9pm–late, free Sussex Arts Club DJ Manello. Funk and soul. 10.30pm–2am, £5/£4 Volks Carbon. Drum ‘n’ bass from Insight and Prolax. 11pm–early, £3 The Zap Peach. Trance, house and electro from Ben Gold. 10:30pm–4am, £8/£6

The Udderbelly, 9pm, £16/£14 Cassandra The bit the film Troy left out, this is a post-9/11 re-working of the story of Cassandra. An intense drama. Komedia, 9.30pm, £6/£5 Daisy Pulls It Off A story about life in an English girls’ boarding school. The Capitol, Horsham, please call for times and prices Dublin By Lamplight Set in 1904 Dublin, a concoction of vaudeville and tragicomedy. Theatre Royal Brighton, 7.30pm, £20–£10 Four Play Revised Edition Theatre Company present new plays written by Cavendish School students, performed by professional actors. Marlborough Theatre, 6.30pm, £5 Futurology: A Global Revue A darkly comic show of dance and cabaret, looking at global issues. Brighton Dome, 8pm, £15–£18 Hamlet Halcyon Productions present Max Day’s Hamlet. Marlborough Theatre, 8pm, £10/£8, call 07786 984900 for tickets Idyll – A Comic Lament Presented by Unpacked. Please contact the venue for further info. Nightingale Theatre, 8pm, £8.50/£6.50 The Last Confession Thriller set in The Vatican. Chichester Festival Theatre, please call for show times. £10–£32 Measure For Measure Shakespeare’s classic play. Brighton Unitarian Church, 7pm, £7/£6 Mein Gutt A one-man show by Doug Devaney, part stand-up, part lecture, part gothic drama. Cella at Sanctuary Café, 9.15pm, £6/£5 The Merchant Of Venice Another of Shakespeare’s best-known plays. Book through www.brightonfestivalfringe.org.uk. Brighton Little Theatre, 7.45pm, £7.50/£8.50 That’s The Way To Do It Punch and Judy are back in the 21st century. Grotesque and politically incorrect as ever. Suit ages 12+. Brighton Media Centre, 6.30pm, £8/£6 Wish I Was Here – Jackie Kay Two tragically funny short stories presented by Jackie Kay and set to a specially commissioned soundscape. Brighton Dome, 9pm, £7.50

Gay

Tina C – If You Can't Live Without Me (Why Weren’t You Dead When I Met You?) Country music icon and presidential ‘hopeful’ for 2008. Udderbelly, 7pm, £12/£10 Kronenbourg Krater Comedy Club Rudi Lickwood, Tommy Campbell and Martin Beaumont, plus cracking MC Dan Atkinson. Komedia, 7.30pm, £12/£10 Robin Fry and Katy Schutte – Rock Historian and Bring Me Einstein Members of the Maydays with their own stand-up shows. Marlborough Theatre, 10.30pm, £6/£5 Träuma Silly, dark and hilarious sketch show. Marlborough Theatre, 6pm, £8/£6 100% Recycled Improv Comedy Anything can happen! Hobgoblin, 8.20pm, £5/£4

Bulldog Dance and pop with DJs Marcia and Chris Reardon, plus karaoke upstairs. Open 63 hours through weekend Candy Bar Pop Rock Vs Booty Call. 9pm–morning. Charles Street Bar Fairylea. Cheesy, camp tracks. 10.30pm–late Charles Street Club Revo. New funky electro club night with DJ Tom Logan. 10.30pm–3am, £5 HQ Shaft. Strictly men only. 10pm–4am, £5/£3 Legends Bar Pre-Yo-Yo. 11am–5am Legends Dance Yo-Yo. Commercial dance with DJ Alex Baker. 11pm–4am, £5/free before 12 Marlborough DJ from 9pm. Open till 2am The PV Easy, cheesy Friday. 12pm–1am Queen’s Arms Andy B’s Camp Attack. Open till 1am R–Bar Official Lollipop warm-up party. Open till 2am Revenge Lollipop Vs Kinky Dangerous. DJ Dulcie Danger upstairs, the Lollipop Girls downstairs. 10.30pm–5am, £7/£5 before 11 Rehab NRG. Funky house night. 9pm–3.30am, £7 or £5 before 12am Vavoom Bar Boyz. Promos till 6pm and when certain tracks play. Dance music videos all night. Open till 6am V2 Club Music videos upstairs and karaoke downstairs until 12am. 10pm–late, members free The Zone Cabaret with Lady James. Open till 12am, free

Theatre Brecht On Magic A blend of stand-up comedy, magic, ventriloquism and political commentary. Komedia, 6.45pm, £5/£3.50 Caesar Twins The stars of La Clique bring their action-packed, gravity-defying show to Brighton.

Comedy

Events Famous Brighton Back Passages Explore little-known byways, rarely visited. Meet Brighton Town Hall, 11am–12.50pm, £5.50 Haunted Pubs Crawl Three spooky haunted hostelries. Ages 18+. Meet Hanningtons taxi rank, 7.30pm, £5.50 (excl drinks) Momma’s Jazz & Gospel Brunch Live music and cookery, exploring the history of soul food. Momma Cherri’s Big House, 12–1.30pm, £10/£7.50 Most Haunted Old Town Spooky late night activities in Brighton’s oldest streets and alleys. Meet Brighton Town Hall, 12am–1.20am, £5.50 Romance Of Rottingdean A tour through the historic seaside village. Meet outside the White Horse Pub, 2.30pm–3.50pm, £5 World War Two School Air Raid Shelter Tour Experience what life was like for children in Whitehawk during World War Two. Whitehawk Primary School, 5.30–6.30pm, £1.50/£1.20/50p, under 4s go free

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saturday 12 Live music Back To Basie Orchestra Tribute orchestra playing the music of the Count. Pavilion Theatre, Worthing, 7.45pm, £15/£13.50 The Curst Sons Local hillbilly trio. Hector’s House, time tbc, free The Eavesdroppers Accomplished Sussexbased Irish trad trio. Brunswick, 8pm, £5/£3 Edson Cordeiro This Brazilian counter-tenor is the embodiment of camp pop. Pavilion Theatre, Brighton, 9.30pm, £12.50 Emma Christian Celtic music by candlelight. St Bartholomew’s Church, 8pm, £12/£10 Kenny Jones & The Jones Gang Kenny Jones of Small Faces and The Who, Rick Willis of Peter Frampton Band and Robert Hart of Bad Company. Concorde 2, 7.30pm, £15 King Naat Veliov & The Original Kocani Orkester + A Hawk And A Hacksaw Brass, Turkish/Bulgarian rhythms and Eastern-style solos from King Naat Veliov. Plus Alburquerque’s Balkan-influenced A Hawk And A Hacksaw, joined by Hungarian Gypsy musicians. Brighton Dome, 7.30pm, £18/£15 Marty Wilde One of the original and best British rock’n’roll pioneers. Assembly Hall, Worthing, 8pm, £19.50/£17.50 My Name Is Red + Muzikashii + Subliminals Indie rock courtesy of the Rock Brighton boys. Ocean Rooms, 8pm, £5 Nick Pynn’s Box Of Acoustic Delights See 8th. Bom Bane’s Restaurant, 9pm, £7/£5 Paris Bianco + Fitsroy + Sparker Local indie pop hopefuls. Providence, 8pm, £1 Sahaj High-energy Bhajan group. Brighthelm Centre, 7.30pm, £7/£4 Tony Lewis Band Perrier-nominated swing and funk vocalist. Joogleberry, 8pm, £7

Bars and clubs Ali Cats Uni-Fi. Nu-skool and old skool breaks. 8pm–12am, free Arc Holdup! Brighton’s favourite indie night.10pm–4am, £5 Audio Stompa Phunk. The very best in underground house with Simian Mobile Disco playing live. 11pm–4am, £8/£6 The Beach Fever. Disco and funk at this upbeat weekend session. 10.30pm–4am, £10/£8 Belushi’s Utopia. 80s classics and club anthems. 10pm–3am, free Casablanca Batcuda. Live Latino and classic tunes. 11pm–4am, £7/£6/£5 Concorde 2 Positive Soundsystem presents David Mothersole. Party beats. Magnus Asberg and Pure Science live. 12pm–6am, £8/£7/£5 Core Club Mo Money. Hip hop with Bill Blast. 10pm–4am, £8/£5 Creation Anthems. Bangin’ weekly party. 9pm–late, £10/free before 10pm Engine Rooms Lowlife. Rock and indie mix in this loveably scuzzy club. 10.30pm–4am, £5 Funky Buddha Lounge Buddha Soul. Cool and funky classics with DJ Mike Panteli and friends. 10pm–3am, £10/£7 Funky Buddha Lounge La Manana. Hedonistic after-party for clubbers who don’t want to go home. 3am–8am, £10 Funky Fish Funk, soul and classic rock ‘n’ roll with a party vibe. 10pm–3am, £6/£5 before 11 The Forager Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now. Indie pop. 8pm–late, free Hectors House DISC. Indie and electro with Tim Jenson and residents. 9pm–2am, free Honeyclub Seven Sins. Funky house with guest DJ Brandon Block. 10.30pm–5am, £12/£7 The Jazz Place Street Jazz. Jazz, funk, Afro and latin. 10.30pm–3am, £6/£5 Kabuki Kabuki Saturdays. Dance music from across the spectrum. 11pm–late, £7/£6 KooKlub Sweet Boutique. Sugary fun with a house soundtrack. 10pm–4am, free Lo Lounge Soul, funk and disco. 10pm–2am, £7/£5 Ocean Rooms Rebel. People Under The Stairs play live. 10pm–3am, £tbc The Penthouse L’Amour Electronique. Synth

pop. 8pm–late, free Po Na Na Good Turn. Modern soul, electro and pop. 10pm–3:30am, £10/£8 Suga Qube Electronica of all kinds from the SugaQube Allstars team. 9pm–late, free Sussex Arts Club We Luv Pop! Frug along to fabulous Britpop hits from The Smiths to Blur. 10pm–2am, £6/£5 Volks Bust The Box – Boys Vs Girls. A dance music battle of the sexes. 11pm–4am, £5 The Zap Hat Club. Funky house and electro with headgear compulsory. 10pm–5am, £10

Dublin By Lamplight, Theatre Royal Brighton, 2.30pm and 7.30pm

Gay

Sarmistha Guha – Indian Dance Classical Indian dance with rising young Bengali star. Brighton Dome, 1pm, £7.50 Smoke And Mirrors Three interlocking monologues based around love, loss, family and relationships. Marlborough Theatre, 4pm, £6/£5 That’s The Way To Do It Punch and Judy are in the 21st century. Grotesque and politically incorrect as ever. Suit ages 12+. Brighton Media Centre, 1.30pm and 6.30pm, £8/£6

Babylon Lounge Women only. 8pm–2am, £5 Brighton Gloucester Monkey. Wild Fruit’s big Saturday. 10pm–4am, NUS £5 all night, others £5 before 11pm/£7 before midnight/£9 after Bulldog Non-stop club mix with DJs V John and Justin K, plus karaoke upstairs. Open 63 hours through weekend Caledonian 2 Cookie. Cabaret. 9.30pm Candy Bar FTPA. Homo-electric disco with DJs W*nker and A-dam. 10pm–5am, £5 Charles Street Club Nervous Twitch by Shibby Shabblers. Top indie night. 11pm–3am, £5 HQ Rose Garden on stage. 9pm–4am, free before 11pm/£5 after Legends Bar Pre-Ignition.11am–5am Legends Dance Ignition. Big tunes with DJ Peter Castle. 11pm–4am, £5/free before 11pm Queens Arms Julie Glitter’s Karaoke Party. 9pm R-Bar Big-screen Eurovision. Open 24 hours, free Revenge Queercarnage. DJs Dusty O and Nik C. All drinks £2 before 12am. 10.30pm–6am, free before 11pm/£5 before 12am/£7 after 12am/£3 after 3am, NUS £3 Star Inn Proud To Bear night. 8pm–1am Vavoom Theme night. Open till 6am V2 Club Theme night continues. Open 10pm–late, members free, others £2/free before 12am

Comedy Kronenbourg Krater Comedy Club Rudi Lickwood, Tommy Campbell and Martin Beaumont, plus cracking MC Dan Atkinson. Komedia, 7pm and 10.30pm, £16 Ornate Johnsons Sharp, award-winning comedy sketch show. Udderbelly, 5pm, £10/£8 Sean Hughes The comic, actor, novelist and panelist. Udderbelly, 7pm, £12/£10 Träuma Silly, dark and hilarious sketch show. Marlborough Theatre, 6pm, £8/£6 Robin Fry and Katy Schutte – Rock Historian and Bring Me Einstein Two members of the Maydays with their own shows. Marlborough Theatre, 10.30pm, £6/£5 100% Recycled Improv Comedy Anything can happen! Hobgoblin, 8.20pm, £5/£4

Theatre

Events

Bite-Size: Short and Sweet The best of this year’s Sydney/Melbourne International tenminute play festivals. Suit ages 14+. Cella at Sanctuary Café, £6/£5, 12.30pm Brecht On Magic Comedy, magic, ventriloquism and politics. Komedia, 6.45pm, £5/£3.50 Caesar Twins The stars of La Clique bring their action-packed, gravity-defying show to Brighton. The Udderbelly, 9pm, £14/£16 Cassandra The bit the film Troy left out, an intense post-9/11 re-working of the story of Cassandra. Komedia, 9.30pm, £6/£5 Daisy Pulls It Off A story about life in an English girl’s boarding school. The Capitol, Horsham, please call for times and prices Dublin By Lamplight A concoction of vaudeville and tragicomedy. Theatre Royal Brighton, 2.30pm and 7.30pm, £10–£20 Hamlet Halcyon Productions present Max Day’s Hamlet. Marlborough Theatre, 8pm, £10/£8, call 07786 984900 for tickets Import/Export – Les Ballets C. De La B. Dance, acrobatics, live music and song, exploring the theme of powerlessness. Brighton Dome, 8pm, £15–£22.50 The Last Confession New thriller set in The Vatican. Chichester Festival Theatre, please call for show times. £10–£32 The Little Girl Who Was Too Fond Of Matches Presented by Impetous Kinship. Suitable for ages 12+. Contact venue for further info. Nightingale Theatre, 8pm, £8.50/£6.50 Little Howard And The Magic Pencil Of Life And Death Family show. Marlborough Theatre, 2pm, £5/£4. Call 07786 984900. Measure For Measure Shakespeare’s classic. Brighton Unitarian Church, 2pm and 7pm, £7/£6 Noisy Kids 2007 A classical family concert and ideal way to introduce kids aged 5–12 to music. The Hawth, Crawley, call for times and prices The Merchant Of Venice Another of Shakespeare's best-known plays. Book through www.brightonfestivalfringe.org.uk. Brighton Little Theatre, 7.45pm, £7.50/£8.50

Art And Anthems Bid for art by celebrities, local artists and everyday folk. St Peter’s Church, 7-10pm, £5/£4 Black Crayon Café The Black Crayon Café offers you a chance to contribute to the crayon collection. Flat 7, 1 Clarendon Terrace, Kemp Town, Sat 12 and Sun 13 May, 10am–5pm, free. Famous Brighton Back Passages Explore little-known byways, rarely visited. Meet Brighton Town Hall, 11am–12.50pm, £5.50 Flamenco Con Fusion Contemporary dance with high-energy Flamenco. Udderbelly, 3pm, £9/£6 Flamenco/Spanish Guitar Show Singing and dancing with the passionate guitar of Tomas Jiminez (12.30–2pm) and an exhibition of Spanish guitars from the UK’s leading luthiers. All Saints Centre, 10am–5pm, £10/£5 Looking After Our World Sample meditation classes with a talk at 1pm. Brighton Buddhist Centre, 11am–4pm, free Open Weekend With Brighton Quakers Music, comedy, verse and Quaker art. Friends’ Meeting House, 2pm–9.30pm, free Seven Sisters Storytelling Storytelling and song to lighten the spirits. Seven Sisters Coachouse, 3pm–7pm, £3.01/£2.01 Stories From Sussex And Around The World Open house story-telling session. Listen or join in. The Boathouses, 12–2.30pm, free Torture And Terror: Ethics, Politics and the War on Terror Is torture justified in response to terrorist threats. CAPPE, University Of Brighton, 3–6pm, £5/£2.50 Victorian Sewers Tour Guided underground tour. Book on 01903 272606. Ages 11+. Meet under Palace Pier, 9.30–10.30am, 11am–12pm, £10/£7.50/£5 World War Two School Air Raid Shelter Tour Experience life for children in Whitehawk during World War Two. Whitehawk Primary School, 10.30–11.30am, 50p–£1.50, under 4s free The Yarnbards Family comedy with Comedy Store Players’ Richard Vranch. Audience suggestions dramatised. Udderbelly, 1pm, £8/£6

ITALIA CONTI The UK’s Longest Established Stage School (1911) Tried, Tested and Proven! For Nearly 100 Years!

GO WITH THE BEST! Performing Arts Training

NEW We are coming to Brighton and Hove! (Sep 2007) Free Trial Day/VIP Day Saturday June 9th I.S.T.D. Ballet, Tap, Modern, Voice/Dialect, L.A.M.D.A. Acting, Singing, Musical Theatre, Jazz, Street Dance, Film and TV, Agency, Latin American

Email: lindaedwards@italiaconti.co.uk Web: www.italiacontibrightonhove.co.uk

020 7608 7513 or 01273 325209 Are you watching…?

Grease Is The Word! Any Dream Will Do! (we have 3 current students in the finals!) PATRONS: Bonnie Lythgoe – Carole Todd

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sunday 13 Stunning performance combining dance, acrobatics, live music and song, exploring the theme of powerlessness. Brighton Dome, 8pm, £15–£22.50 The Little Girl Who Was Too Fond Of Matches Presented by Impetus Kinship. Suitable for ages 12+. Please contact the venue for further information. Nightingale Theatre, 8pm, £8.50/£6.50 Little Howard And The Magic Pencil Of Life And Death Family show. Little Howard meets his maker, The Pencil Of Creation, but unfortunately on the other end is The Rubber Of Doom. Marlborough Theatre, 2pm, £5/£4. Tickets on 07786 984900. Secret Agent The very funny, very shocking and very true story of the man who failed to blow up the London Eye. Funky Buddha, tickets on 01273 709709, 7.30pm, £7/£5 Smoke And Mirrors Three interlocking monologues based around love, loss, family and relationships, presented by Writers Block. Marlborough Theatre, 4pm, £6/£5

Ida Barr, Udderbelly, 5pm

£20 a week

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818150 Enjoy the KOBA ‘Happy hour’ Two cocktails for the price of one between 5-7pm every day in the front bar. Apply for free K-list membership at www.kobauk.com

Comedy

Functions rooms available for all kinds of parties of 10-190 guests Free venue hire Sunday – Thursday contact info@kobauk.com or call Tel: 01273 720059

135 Western Road, Brighton BN1 2LA www.kobauk.com

MADWHACKER PRODUCTIONS presents

Maddie Live 'Talking Up the Fringe' For the first time ever, the Brighton Festival Fringe brings you a hot new talk show. Come and meet the stars of this year’s Festival as they tell all and perform like never before.

May 14, 2007 – The Middle Featuring Carol Cleveland, Mayday Players, Phil Grabsky, Fake Bush, Mike Hatchard, Ralph Brown from the Brighton Beach Boys, Kitsch Kittens and Django Spears. Special performance by Jake Stigers.

Tickets: £7/£5 2 For 1 Brighton Dome Ticket Office Tel : 01273 709 709 Venue: The Hanbury Club 83 St. George’s Road, Brighton www.maddielive.com

Live music Acoustic jam session Evening of acoustic jamming, with a PA. The Portland, 8pm, free Carrie Rodriguez and Linda McLean Singer and fiddler Rodriguez is an eclectic performer, singing hot and steamy numbers alongside more traditional country numbers. Anchor Inn, 8pm, £10 David Wheeldon + Jo Morris + Daniel Wheeler + Joe Woodham Acoustic vibes. Pav Tav, 8pm, free The Desperate Ones Desert-scorched echoes of Ennio Morricone, PJ Harvey and The Velvet Underground combined with the band’s Jacques Brel obsession. Joogleberry, 8pm, £7/£6 Edson Cordeiro See 12th. Pavilion Theatre, Brighton, 9pm, £12.50 In Bob We Trust Local singers and musicians celebrating the work of Bob Dylan. Sussex Arts Club, 7pm, £7.50 Kris Bell and friends Weekly acoustic shindig hosted by Kris Bell with friends playing a mix of covers and originals. Chequers, 8.30pm, free Mandy & The Magdalenas Glamorous jazz trio. The Brunswick, 3pm, free Sam Chara Superb jazz vocalist with Mike from Fridge Magnets on guitar. Neptune, 8.30pm, free Sonic Boom Six + JB Conspiracy + Los Albertos Big-sounding and popular Manchester band mixing up ragga, hip hop, bhangra, dub, punk and jungle. Local dynamite ska band Los Albertos should kick things off in true skanking style. Engine Room, 7.30pm, £7 Tim Laycock Popular folk singer and concertina player with particular interest in the songs and traditions of the West Country and East Anglia. Horsham Folk Club event. The Normandy Centre, Denne Road, Horsham, 8pm, £2–£6

Bars and clubs Audio Sunday Sundae. Hang out on the sun terrace with the city’s finest DJs. 6pm–11am, £5/£3/£2 Honeyclub Sundelicious. Sabbath house of the electro variety. 10pm–late, £2/£1

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Suga Qube Carry On Sunday. House with John Byrne, Make:Waves and Charmain. Free The Zap Sunday School. Electro and tribal techhouse. 10pm–late, £4/free

Gay Bulldog DJ Wayne rocks the main bar, with Cash Karaoke upstairs. 11pm–2am, free Caledonian 2 Jamming with Jamie and Josh, then cabaret with Polara. 3.30pm/8pm Candy Bar Club Tropicana. From 9pm, free Charles Street Club Sunday Service. Religion’s new Sunday night party. 10.30pm–3am, £4 KooKlub Cash Queen. With DJs Mick Fuller, Dulcie Danger and guests. 10.30pm-3am, £4–£7 Legends Dance Embrace.11pm–4am, free The PV Matty Eeles provides music. 6pm Queen’s Arms Super Sunday! Cabaret with Dolly Diamond at 5.15pm then Betty’s Karaoke Show. Open till 11pm R-Bar Sassy Stryker on stage. 4.30pm Revenge Dance, chart and funky house. 10.30pm–3am, £2 before midnight, then £3 Star Inn Bears’ Beer Bash! 4pm–late Vavoom Chill-out music videos. Open till 3am The Zone Cabaret with Sweet FA. Open till midnight, free

Theatre 4 Poofs And A Piano – Strictly Neurotic The stars of Friday Night With Jonathan Ross are back with their unique brand of high energy camp cabaret. The Udderbelly, 7pm, £12/£10 Brecht On Magic Three gods from Bertolt Brecht’s plays come to earth looking for socialist culture in capitalist society. A blend of stand-up comedy, magic, ventriloquism and political commentary. Komedia, 6.45pm, £5/£3.50 Caesar Twins The stars of La Clique bring their action-packed, gravity-defying show to Brighton. The Udderbelly, 9pm, £14/£16 Clay Time A kids play with clay where the audience are invited to participate. 3–6 years. Komedia, 12pm and 2pm, £6/£5 Import/Export – Les Ballets C. de la B.

Kronenbourg Krater Comedy Club Rudi Lickwood, Tommy Campbell and one more tbc, with MC Noel Britten. Komedia, 8pm, £9/£6 students Punt And Dennis Stars of The Mary Whitehouse Experience, BBC Radio’s The Now Show and Mock The Week, they now bring the funniness to Brighton. Komedia, 6.45pm, £15/£13 Ida Barr – Slipped Disco Afternoon bingo with this gangsta grandma ex-music hall star. Udderbelly, 5pm, £12/£10 Sidesplitters Headliner Micheal Fabbri, an opener and three new acts all providing a fantastic comedy Sunday night out. The Providence, 8pm, £4 Träuma Silly, dark and hilarious sketch show. Marlborough Theatre, 6pm, £8/£6 Big Day Out Three men of varying sizes present a mixture of characters and sketches. Marlborough Theatre, 8pm, £7/£5

Events Black Crayon Café As part of the Open Houses, the Black Crayon Café offers you a chance to contribute to the crayon collection. All efforts will be displayed throughout the festival to inspire future recruits. Flat 7, 1 Clarendon Terrace, Kemp Town, Saturday 12 and Sunday 13 May, 10am–5pm, free. Brighton’s Most Interesting Shopping Street Explore the original character of St James’s Street. Meet at One Stop Travel. 11am–12.20pm, £5 Car Boot Sale Weekly car boot. No stalls before 12.30pm. Plumpton Racecourse, £10 vans/£8 cars, 50p adults entry Clay Time Unique and interactive play with clay. Suit ages 3-6. Komedia, 12–1pm and 2–3pm, £6/£5 Famous Brighton Back Passages Explore little known byways, rarely visited. Meet Brighton Town Hall, 2.30–4.20pm, £5.50 Flamenco Con Fusion Contemporary dance group with high-energy Flamenco music Udderbelly, 3pm, £9/£6 Open Weekend With Brighton Quakers Music, comedy, verse and Quaker art. Friends’ Meeting House, 1.30pm–4.30pm, free Seven Sisters Storytelling Storytelling and song to lighten the spirits. Seven Sisters Coachouse, 3pm–7pm, £3.01/£2.01 Stop Smoking For Good The Big Wheeze campaign, looking to help 1,000 people stop smoking this year. Money back when you complete the workshop. Ages 16+. Community Base, 1–4.30pm, £20/£10 Stories From Sussex And Around The World Open house story-telling with tales from around the world. Listen or join in. The Boathouses, 12–2.30pm, free

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monday 14 Les Ballets C. de la B. Brighton Dome, 8pm

Live music Corrine West + Piefinger From the open meadows of California’s Sierra mountains, Corrine spins addictive and penetrating tales. The Ravenswood, Sharpthorne, 8pm, £10 Edson Cordeiro See 12th. Pavilion Theatre, Brighton, 9pm, £12.50 Ensemble na Mara Scottish ensemble made up of soloists and chamber musicians, performing a repertoire that includes traditional music from Scotland and contemporary works. Pavilion Theatre, 1pm, £7.50 Herbie Flowers Fez Bar This man has played on more hit singles than he’s had hot dinners, and if he ever set his story in print, it would make a rivetting rock’n’roll read. Tonight, he presents audio-visual crew Mondo Leone and Leon Giesen, a Dutch filmmaker. Komedia, 8pm, £12/£10 Incognito One of the main players in the UK’s jazz funk scene, Incognito’s uplifting dance tunes are full, fat and funky. Komedia, 9pm, £12 Laura Vane + Anna Robinson Superb soul funk singer who has sung with Gnarls Barkley and The Streets. Joogleberry, 10pm, £6 Roberto Fonseca Quintet + Marta Topferova Pan-Latin double header from two rising stars of the ‘new Latin spirit’. Dome, 7.30pm, £18/£15 The Spirit Of Native America Musical and visual feast of traditional and contemporary Native American music, dance, songs and storytelling. Featuring several Native Americans including Ant Hatcher (Cherokee) and Anuki Coats (White Mountain Apache). Sallis Benney Theatre, 7.30pm, £11/£8

Bars and clubs Beach We Love 90s. Tunes from way back when. 10.30pm–3am, £2/90p Casablanca Now That’s What I Call The 80s. 10.30pm–3am, free Cosmopolitan Bar Parlour Games. Have a check with venue before travelling. ➧ Please See our venue directory for details

drink and play some games. Bring your own games or choose from a selection at the bar. Free Funky Buddha Lounge Caramel. R’n’B, hip hop and funk. 10.30pm–3.30am £3/£1 Honeyclub Stardust versus Corrosion. Cheese and rock double header. 11pm–4am, £4.50/£1.50 KooKlub No Class. Student night with pop, cheese and old skool. 10pm–3am, £3 NUS Suga Qube Late Night Lounging. Hip hop, soul and Downtempo. Open till 4am, free Volks Tip Top presents Strictly Reggae. Dancehall, bashment and roots. 10pm–late, £4.50/£3.50

theme of powerlessness. Brighton Dome, 8pm, £15–£22.50 The Last Confession New thriller set in one of the most highly guarded institutions: The Vatican. Chichester Festival Theatre, please call for show times. £10–£32 The Little Girl Who Was Too Fond Of Matches Presented by Impetus Kinship. Suitable for ages 12+. Please contact the venue for further information. Nightingale Theatre, 8pm, £8.50/£6.50

Gay

Jim Jeffries: The Second Coming The X-rated sell-out show from Edinburgh is now at your doorstep. Udderbelly, 9pm, £10/£8 Maddie Live: Talking Up The Fringe Fringe talk show with some of the stars of the festival joining Maddie in her bath for a chat. Hanbury Club, 7pm, £7/£5 Robin Ince Fresh from touring with Ricky Gervais, Robin Ince brings his one-man show to a more intimate venue. Marlborough Theatre, 9.30pm, £6/£5

Bulldog Marcia’s Glitter Ball. 70s and 80s disco classics. 11pm–2am, free Charles Street Club Studio 150. Party tunes with DJs Luke and Ali, plus sexy dancers. 10.30pm–3am, £1.50 Legends Dance Mojo. Classics from across the decades. 11pm–4am, free Marine Tavern Elsie’s Chillout. 12pm–12am Marlborough Student social night with games, pool and tunes. From 6pm R-Bar Miss Jason’s Madhouse. 10pm–late Revenge Boogaloo Stu’s Shinky Shonky. All drinks £2.10.30pm–3am, free

Theatre Brecht On Magic Three gods from Bertolt Brecht’s plays come to earth looking for socialist culture in capitalist society. A blend of stand-up comedy, magic, ventriloquism and political commentary. Komedia, 6.45pm, £5/£3.50 Caesar Twins The stars of La Clique bring their action-packed, gravity-defying show to Brighton. The Udderbelly, 7pm, £14/£16 Import/Export – Les Ballets C. de la B. Stunning performance combining dance, acrobatics, live music and song, exploring the

Comedy

Events Poets Cornered New Moon Rising Local poets, artists and musicians. All welcome. Portland Hotel and Rock Bar, 7.30–10.30pm, £5/£3 Visions Of Our Future Blay Whitby, lecturer in computer science and AI, talks about the use of robots in our daily lives. The Freemans Centre, 6–7.30pm, £3 World War Two School Air Raid Shelter Tour Experience what life was like for children in Whitehawk during World War Two in the air raid shelter. Whitehawk Primary School, 4.30–5.30pm, £1.50/£1.20/50p, under 4s go free

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A-Z venue directory Brighton and Hove Ali Cats 80 East Street, Brighton 01273 220902 Amsterdam 11 Marine Parade 01273 688825 www.amsterdam.uk.com Aqua 23 Waterfront Brighton Marina 01273 819800 Aquarium 6 Steine Street, Brighton 01273 605525 www.pleisure.com Arc 160 Kings Road Arches 01273 770505 Arthouse Gallery 10 Western Road, Hove 01273 770083 Audio 10 Marine Parade 01273 606906 www.audiobrighton.com Bar Bamboogy 78 West Street, Brighton www.creationbrighton.com Barley Mow 92 St George’s Road 01273 682259 The Beach 171–181 Kings Road Arches, Brighton 01273 722272 Belushi’s 10-12 Grand Junction Road, Brighton 01273 202035 Bom-Banes Restaurant 24 George Street, Brighton 01273 606299 Brighton Centre Kings Road, Brighton 0870 900 9100 www.brightoncentre.co.uk Brighton College Eastern Road www.brightoncollege.net Brighton Dome 29 New Road, Brighton 01273 709709 www.brighton-dome.org.uk Brighton Gloucester 27 Gloucester Place 01273 688011 Brighton and Hove Greyhound Stadium Nevill Road, Hove 01273 204601 www.trap6.com/hove Brighton Museum & Art Gallery Royal Pavilion Gardens, 01273 290900 Brighton Peace & Environment Centre Brighton Ecocentre, 39–41 Surrey Street 01273 766610 Brighton Rocks 6 Rock Place 01273 601139 Brighton Women’s Centre 72 High Street, Brighton 01273 698036 The Brunswick 1 Holland Road, Hove 01273 733984 Bulldog, 31 St James’s Street 01273 696996 www.bulldogbrighton.com Candy Bar 129 St James’s Street 01273 622424 www.thecandybar.co.uk Caroline of Brunswick 39 Ditchling Road, Brighton 01273 624434 Casablanca Middle Street, Brighton 01273 321817 Cella at Sanctuary Café 51–55 Brunswick St East, Hove 01273 770006 Charles Street Bar & Club 8 Marine Parade 01273 624091 www.charlesstreetbar.com Cineworld Brighton Marina Village 01273 818094 www.cineworld.co.uk Clair Hall Perrymount Road, Haywards Heath 01444 455440 Concorde 2 Madeira Drive, Brighton 01273 673311 www.concorde2.co.uk Core Club 12–15 King’s Road, Brighton 01273 326848 Corn Exchange 29 New Road, Brighton 01273 709709 www.brighton-dome.org.uk Cornerstone Community Centre Church Road, Hove 01273 327757 Cosmopolitan Bar 29-31 New Steine 01273 682461 The Cowley Club 12 London Road, Brighton 01273 696104 www.cowleyclub.org.uk Creation 78 West Street, Brighton 01273 321628 www.creationbrighton.com Doctor Brighton’s 16–17 Kings Road 01273 328765 www.pleisure.com Dome 29 New Road, Brighton 01273 709709 www.brighton-dome.org.uk Duke of York’s Picturehouse Preston Circus, Brighton 01273 626261 www.picturehouses.co.uk Education Room Brighton Pavilion 01273 296971 Engine Room 5 Preston Street, Brighton 01273 728999 www.engineroomclub.com

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Enigma 10 Ship Street, Brighton 01273 328439 www.theenigmabrighton.co.uk The Fishbowl 74 East Street 01273 777505 Fitzherberts 25 New Road 01273 682401 Freebutt 1 Phoenix Place 01273 603974 Freemasons 38 Western Road, Hove 01273 732043 Funky Buddha Lounge 169–170 Kings Road Arches, Brighton 01273 725541 Gap Club 61a Western Road, Hove 0844 999 6349 Gardner Arts Centre, University of Sussex campus, Falmer 01273 685861 www.gardnerarts.co.uk The George 5 Trafalgar Street, Brighton 01273 681055 The Globe 78 Middle Street, Brighton 01273 727114 The Greys 105 Southover Street, Brighton 01273 680734 The Hanbury Club 83 St George’s Road, Brighton 01273 605789 Hare & Hounds 75 London Road, Brighton 01273 681163 Harlequin 43 Providence Place, Brighton 01273 620630 www.harlequin-brighton.co.uk Hobgoblin 31 York Place, Brighton 01273 602519 Honeyclub 214 Kings Road Arches, 01273 202807 www.thehoneyclub.co.uk The Hope 10–12 Queen’s Road, Brighton 01273 325793 Hove Museum & Art Gallery 194 Church Road, Hove 01273 290200 Hove Town Hall, Norton Road, Hove 0870 900 9100 www.brighton-hove.gov.uk Jazz Place 10 Ship Street, Brighton 01273 328439 www.thejazzplacebrighton.co.uk Joogleberry Playhouse 14–17 Manchester Street, Brighton 01273 687171 www.joogleberry.com Juggler Bar 21 Western Road, Hove 01273 724195 King and Queen 13 Marlborough Place, Brighton 01273 606207 Komedia Gardner Street, Brighton 01273 647100 www.komedia.co.uk Koo Klub 10 Pool Valley, Brighton 01273 888000 www.kooklub.co.uk

Comprehensive list of venues to complement our listings

Brighton 01273 732323 www.pintxopeople.co.uk Portland Rock Bar 153 Portland Road, Hove 01273 383840 www.portlandrockbar.co.uk Po Na Na Unit 2, 75-79 East Street, Brighton 01273 777904 www.ponana.com Pressure Point 33 Richmond Place, Brighton 01273 702333 www.pressurepoint.me.uk Preston Manor Preston Drove, Brighton 01273 292770 Prestonville Arms 64 Hamilton Road, Brighton 01273 701007 Prince Albert 48 Trafalgar Street, Brighton 01273 730499 The Providence 130 Western Road, Hove 01273 727822 PV 22 Upper North Street, Brighton 01273 325491 www.thepv.co.uk Queen’s Arms 7 George Street, Brighton 01273 696873 R-Bar 7 Marine Parade, Brighton 01273 608133 www.revenge.co.uk Red Roaster Café 1d St James’s Street, Brighton 01273 686668 Rehab Brighton Marina 01273 675007 www.rehabbrighton.com Rendezvous Casino Brighton Marina 01273 605602 www.rendezvouscasino.com Revenge 32 Old Steine, Brighton 01273 606064 www.revenge.co.uk Revue Bar 19 New Steine, Brighton 01273 607456 Riki Tik 18a Bond Street, Brighton 01273 683844 Saqqara 158 North Street, Brighton 01273 779701 Sky Bar 54-55 Meeting House Lane, Brighton www.skybarbrighton.com Star Inn 5–9 Manchester Street, Brighton 01273 601450 Suga Qube 5 Castle Square 01273 770246 Sumo 9–12 Middle Street 01273 749465 Sussex Arts Club 7 Ship Street 01273 778020 Theatre Royal New Road 08700 606650 www.theambassadors.com/theatreroyal

Lo Lounge 106 Kings Road, Brighton 01273 715077

V2 5 Steine Street, Brighton 01273 609672 Vanilla Bar 73a Western Road, Hove 01273 748182 Vavoom 31 Old Steine, Brighton 01273 603010 Volks The Colonnade, 3 Madeira Drive, Brighton 01273 682828 www.volksclub.co.uk

Marlborough Bar & Theatre 4 Princes Street, Brighton 07782 278521 www.marlboroughtheatre.co.uk Marine Tavern 13 Broad Street, Brighton 01273 681284 www.harlequin-brighton.co.uk Mint Meeting House Lane 0871 2072 088 Mojo’s Bar & Restaurant 103 North Road, Brighton 01273 622522

Western Front Near Churchill Square, Brighton 01273 725656 White Horse 30 Camelford St, Brighton 01273 603726 Wild Fruit @ Creation, 78 West Street, Brighton www.wildfruit.co.uk West Hill Hall Compton Avenue, Brighton

New Madeira Hotel 19-23 Marine Parade, Brighton 01273 698331 New Venture Theatre Bedford Place 01273 746118 www.newventure.org.uk

The Zap Kings Road Arches, Brighton 01273 202407 Zoot Street Bar Queens Road, Brighton 01273 737770 The Zone 33 St James’s Street, Brighton 01273 626442

Ocean Rooms 1–2 Morley Street, Brighton 01273 699069 Odeon Cinema West Street, Brighton 0871 224 4007 www.odeon.co.uk Ohso Social 250a Kings Road Arches, Brighton 01273 746067 The Old Market Upper Market Street, Hove 01273 736222 www.theoldmarket.co.uk The Park Crescent Pub 39 Park Crescent Terrace, Brighton 01273 604993 Pavilion Tavern 7–8 Castle Square, Brighton 0844 999 6331 Pavilion Theatre 29 New Road, Brighton 01273 709709 www.brighton-dome.org.uk Penthouse (above the Freebutt), 1 Phoenix Place, Brighton 01273 603 974 Pintxo People 95-99 Western Road,

Around Sussex The Anchor Inn Anchor Lane, Barcombe 01273 400414 www.anchorinnandboating.co.uk Ashdown Forest Broadstone car park, second left from Wychcross Assembly Hall Connaught Theatre Pavilion Theatre, Union Place, Worthing 01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk The Black Horse High Street, Findon, Worthing 01903 872301 Bluebell Railway Sheffield Park Station, East Sussex 01825 720800 Café Blue Pevensey Road, Eastbourne 07834 405675 The Capitol North Street, Horsham 01403 750220 Chichester Festival Theatre Oaklands Park 01243 781312 www.cft.org.uk Clair Hall Perrymount Road, Haywards Heath 01444 455440 Congress Theatre Carlisle Road, Eastbourne 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Devonshire Park Theatre Compton Street, Eastbourne 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Fountain Inn High Street, Handcross 01444 400218 www.fountainpub.co.uk The Half Brick 221 Brighton Road, Worthing 01903 234196 The Hawth Hawth Avenue, Crawley 01293 553636 www.hawth.co.uk Horsham Folk Club The Normandy Centre, Denne Road, Horsham 01306 875653 www.horshamfolkclub.co.uk Jack Horner 80 High Street, Worthing 01903 236427 Malling Community Centre Spences Lane, Lewes 01273 477931 www.mallingcommunitycentre.com Martlets Martlets Hall, Civic Way, Burgess Hill 01444 242888 Royal Hippodrome Theatre 108 Seaside Road, Eastbourne 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Royal Oak Station Street, Lewes 01273 478124 St Thomas à Beckett Church Hall Cliffe High Street, Lewes United Reformed Church Clinton Place, corner of Broad Street, Seaford Winter Garden Theatre Compton Street, Eastbourne 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Worthing Museum & Art Gallery Chapel Road, Worthing 01903 221140 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk Worthing Connaught Theatre Union Place, Worthing 01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk Worthing Pavilion Theatre Marine Parade, Worthing 01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk

■ We try to ensure all event details are correct but regret we cannot be held responsible for any inaccuracies. Please check directly with the venue before travelling ■

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latest

The £50,000 worth of grants will be given away during Danny and Nicky in the morning at the beginning of June. Every day up to £10,000 will be handed out in grants to successful new projects that can be completed by the end of 2007. A special V panel will be set up to consider proposals for new volunteering opportunities created by the projects. Projects should be taster, short-term sessions that enable young people to get a flavour of volunteering and a sense of its potential value both to themselves and their local community. The panel will include four young volunteers to help identify the successful applications. Projects can cover a variety of ideas that will benefit the community as a whole and can cover a diverse range of activities including music, sports, the arts and the environment, to name but a few. Southern FM wants to hear from organisations that can deliver innovative projects that will create new volunteering opportunities and could make use of up to £10,000 to make them happen. Think big with your ideas, but don’t delay because proposals need to be in by 17 May. For more information or an application form go to www.southernfm.com/vproject or call 0870 202 8000

jobs Build a better community Southern FM is giving grants for volunteer projects

The Breakfast Team on Danny and Nicky in the Morning

Southern FM is giving away £50,000 to local community organisations in Sussex to come up with new volunteering opportunities for young people. The station has teamed up with V, the new youth volunteering charity, to fund exciting projects in this area. • V is committed to increasing the quantity, quality and diversity of volunteering opportunities for young people • V is working to inspire one million more volunteers aged 16-25 years in England across the next three years • GCap Media, Southern FM’s parent company has pledged £3–4m in kind to help V achieve its vision

Sales Executive Property Recruitment Specialists

Letting Negotiator

Brighton

We require a very enthusiastic, energetic individual that is eager to learn, professional, well presented and has lots of ambition to succeed! No experience is necessary as full training will be provided. Fantastic opportunity with a well established company.

Sales Negotiator

Brighton

Have you at least one year’s industry experience and feeling undervalued? Would you like to join one of the best agents in Brighton? Come and join this very successful team and take your career to the next level!

Sales Progressor

Brighton

If you consider yourself to have excellent communication skills and experienced in progressing sales through to a successful conclusion then call us today!

Senior Property Manager

Brighton

Our clients require an experienced property manager with block management experience to join a well established team covering Sussex. Only experienced candidate’s need apply.

Part-Time Secretary

Woodingdean

Required for 16 hours per week, fantastic opportunity not to be missed!

Covering East & West Sussex, Kent, Surrey & Hampshire.

everyone has a price on their head

to maximize your potential call us now on:

0845 130 1188 fax 0845 130 1189

email enquiries@lca-jobs.com

web www.lca-jobs.com

required for busy advertising dept The top media sales position in Sussex is available as Latest Magazines expands! Latest Homes Ltd cover a variety of titles including property, health and art. Be a part of our creative team and work in a fast-paced environment, managing existing accounts and developing new client contacts. If you can answer yes to the following, then you could be who we are looking for to join our successful team: • Energetic & enthusiastic approach • Minimum of two years experience • Proven track record in face to face sales • Highly motivated with the ability to work as part of the team and on your own initiative • Organised and able to work to deadlines • Excellent customer service skills Apply by emailing your CV to lynne@thelatest.co.uk or call Lynne Edwards on 01273 818150 ex. 112 for an informal chat Latest Homes Ltd Unit 1, Level 5 North, New England House New England Street, Brighton BN1 4GH 01273 818150 www.thelatest.co.uk

To get your recruitment event or business CV listed email editorial@thelatest.co.uk

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Lettings Co-ordinator Cambridge Residential are one of Brighton & Hove’s leading independent letting and estate agencies, standing out from the crowd in a highly competitive market. Due to our constant portfolio growth we now require a full time office coordinator to join our vibrant Western Road offices. The position is public facing and will mainly comprise of administrative support to a team of busy negotiators, as well as meeting and registering new applicants and viewing appointments. Previous agency experience will be useful but not essential. The ideal candidate will have excellent communication and organisational skills and will thrive working in a lively and busy environment. Basic IT skills and a UK driving licence are of course essential. In return for your hard work and commitment we offer stylish and lively offices, genuine career prospects, and a competitive salary. If you enjoy being part of a busy team environment, and love property and people, then this might just be the job for you. If you have what it takes and are interested in this exciting position then please apply with your CV and covering letter to: caroline@cambridge-residential.co.uk or to Caroline Obolensky Cambridge Residential 117 Western Road, Hove, BN3 1DB Alternatively, please call for further information on 01273 204037 Applications will be treated in the strictest of confidence

jonathan rolls NEGOTIATOR REQUIRED

01273 684997

Well established independent estate agents require an experienced negotiator to join our team. Must have a minimum of two years’ experience, be the kemp town enclosures highly motivated and able tospecialists work as part of a team. A clean driving licence is also essential. Apply with CV to: Matt Evans Jonathan Rolls Estate Agents 244 Eastern Road Kemp Town Brighton East Sussex BN2 5TA Tel: 01273 684997 Web: www.jonathanrolls.com Email: matt@jonathanrolls.com

52 latest jobs

Brighton / Hove

Hassocks

Part Time Administrator £negotiable (15–20 hours) CAD Technician, c £20k pa

Technical Sales / Account Manager, £15k–£17k plus bonuses

Lancing

Newhaven

Customer Service Advisor (9 months maternity cover) £14k pro rata

Sales Manager, £25k pa plus bonuses

Customer Service Advisor, upto £14,750 pa

AutoCAD Technician (3 month contract), £25k pa pro rata

Worthing Outbound Sales / Customer Service Advisors (No cold calling), £15,017 OTE £24k pa

hundreds of jobs every week...

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LETTINGS Hall’s Residential Lettings has a vacancy for a

SALES AND LETTING NEGOTIATOR This position is full time • The ideal candidate will have good communication skills • Some sales/letting experience preferable • Administration experience would be an advantage • Must have a full driving license For an interview please send in your CV to: Rachel Bannister rachel.bannister@halls-estate.com 27 New Road, Brighton, East Sussex, BN1 1UG or call 01273 244 444

12,000 students attend the University of Sussex. The only way to reach these potential clients is through the University of Sussex Students’ Union.

DEAN & CO

The badger is the Students’ Union’s tabloid newspaper, published every Thursday and read by 84% of students*. The pulse, our termly magazine, has been awarded the best UK Student Magazine twice by The Guardian and Independent newspapers.

Due to an internal promotion we now have a rarely available opportunity to join our highly successful estate agency.

To advertise in either publication, phone the USSU marketing team on 01273 678151 or email ussu-marketing@sussex.ac.uk

Duties to include typing including audio, computer and telephone skills essential, arranging viewings, accompanied viewings on one in four saturdays. Immediate start available.

SECRETARY/ADMINISTRATOR (Hours & salary negotiable)

* Student Lifestyle Questionnaire 2002

SATURDAY ASSISTANT (Every other Saturday)

requires part time experienced assistant. Must be professional, computer literate and outgoing, with initiative and good interpersonal skills. Some artistic background preferred. Please email your CV to: mondoarts@aol.com ...to advertise call our sales team on 01273 818150

Office based duties to include meet and greet clients, arranging appointments, telephone and computer skills essential. Position to commence June 2007.

Please apply with covering letter and CV to: Mr Les Newman MNAEA, Managing Partner. Or email: les@dean-property.co.uk

1 THE PARADE, HANGLETON ROAD, HOVE

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latestTV Dani on TV

She says it how she sees it

Return of the Tribe Tuesday 8 May, Five, 8pm Last May, a man from London went to stay with the ‘insect tribe’ who live in Papua New Guinea. There he found that the tribe, who live in the middle of nowhere, have a deep interest in our country. Papua New Guinea is part of the Commonwealth and our Queen is its Head of State. They learn English and study our history, and when asked if they wanted to travel to England to see how we Brits live, all 250 of the tribe said yes. Sadly the man from London couldn’t take all of them, so six were chosen to travel across the world, to see where it is that the traveller comes from. Seeing the face of one of the tribesmen as the plane takes off is something I will never forget. The confusion they have over the fact that it’s autumn and the trees have no leaves, and the fascination they have over the American-style fridge that gives ice and water is wonderful. Persuading the group to go on the London Eye is difficult, as they work on instinct and being up that high is not natural. Once off the wheel they decide it’s run by magic. This is heart-warming stuff, and it doesn’t get any more interesting then this. I hate London at the best of times, and hearing this tribe who have never seen anything even remotely like this before, describe the buildings in the capital as, “a lot of trees all connected together,” hits me as a wonderfully oxymoronic analogy. When the chief of the tribe can’t get in to meet the Queen, his confusion is understandable. As the chief of his village, he sees himself as the Queen’s representative in Papua New Guinea, and he is clearly hurt that the Queen doesn’t want to see him. This type of programme might not be for everyone, but if you like these fish-out-of-water documentaries, this is one of the better ones. We take so much for granted in our little bubble, like the fact that we can go to the supermarket to get our food and not have to hunt for it. When the tribe are taken to a supermarket they are reluctant to buy anything they don’t need. When looking at the clothes they are only looking for the fabrics they can’t get in the city in their own country. They don’t look at anything they might want, only what they need. We can learn big lessons from these people, who don’t over hunt because they might waste food, who see the London Eye as something that’s worked by magic, and who can’t understand why the churches are among the smallest buildings in London when the ‘money buildings’ tower above everything. In the next episode, the tribe are split into two groups and they go and stay with two regular British families in different parts of the country. It looks like it’s going to be an eye-opener for the tribe as well as the host families. I really do recommend this. As interesting TV documentaries go, this is right up there!

Films on TV

Movies on the box this week

TUESDAY 8

SATURDAY 12

Unfaithful ★✩✩✩✩ (2002, BBC1, 11.25pm. Dir Adrian Lyne) A tinpot version of Claude Chabrol’s 1969 original, Richard Gere plays the wronged hubby and Diane Lane his adulterous wife in a marital thriller that plays like Fatal Attraction in reverse. Long on unintentional comedy, short on cinematic sauce, your average stagnant bog creates more heat than this lot. Matt Chittock

The Shooting Party ★★★✩✩

WEDNESDAY 9 About a Boy ★★★★✩ (2002, ITV2, 8pm. Dir Chris Weitz, Paul Weitz) Hugh Grant forgoes his floppy haircut for a faithful adaptation of Nick Hornby’s book. He manages to convince as an accidental millionaire happy to be on his own until his heart is melted (in a non-Hollywood way) by a dysfunctional child. MC

THURSDAY 10 The Aristocrats ★★✩✩✩ (2005, Channel 4, 12.05am. Dir Paul Provenza) The dirtiest joke in the world (apparently) gets the documentary treatment from comedy luminaries like Billy Connolly, Carrie Fisher and Eric Idle in a movie that’s funnier to imagine than actually watch. MC

FRIDAY 11 Wal-Mart: The High Cost of Low Price ★★★✩✩ (2005, Sky Indie, 4pm Dir Robert Greenwald) With poverty-level wages, unionbusting bosses and dodgy environmental practices who’d want to work for Wal-Mart? Brave, but slightly boring, this is a worthy attack on an evil American empire. MC

Air America ★★★✩✩ (1990, BBC1, 11.35am. Dir Roger Spottiswoode) Mel Gibson and Robert Downey Jnr are two fliers trading wisecracks in between bullets as they carry out Nixon’s dirty work in a Vietnam-era action comedy lacking any real political sting. MC

54 latest 7

8–14 May

(1984, BBC 4, 10.30pm. Dir Alan Bridges) A clever addition to the Beeb’s season devoted to the Edwardians, this glossy period piece examines the social mores of an aristocratic group on a jolly weekend away, unaware that the First World War is just around the corner. Classy detail makes for a sharp sketch of the era and its values. MC

Blow Dry ★★★★✩ (2001, BBC2, 12.15am. Dir Paddy Breathnach) A plucky English comedy about the intrigue ignited when the British Hairdressing Championships descend on a small Yorkshire village. A hit-andmiss script doesn’t bag big laffs, but gets by fine on comic quirks. Among the contestants are Bill Nighy and Josh Hartnett (with an awful accent). MC

SUNDAY 13 Sideways ★★★★✩ (2004, Sky Indie, 11.10pm. Dir Alexander Payne) A cute indie buddy movie with a nicely evolved melancholic streak, Paul Giamatti and Thomas Haden Church are two middle-aged losers taking out their neuroses on an ill-fated Californian wine country tour with comic consequences. Not the revelation some critics reckoned, but a fantastic evocation of the male menopause. MC

MONDAY 14 All the Queen’s Men ★✩✩✩✩ (2001, BBC1, 11.45pm. Dir Stefan Ruzowitzy) Like a Viz cartoon come to life (with even fewer gags), Matt LeBlanc and Eddie Izzard win the war but lose the battle against duff material as a troop of soldiers dressed as women to infiltrate a Nazi stronghold during WWll. Twice as bad as it sounds, it’s a movie best forgotten. MC

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tuesday 8 SuperSlim Me: A Mischief Special BBC2, 7pm Calling this a ‘Mischief Special’ does seem to trivialise the topic of eating disorders. Dawn Porter is a ‘curvy’ UK size 12 who is on a quest to become a US size zero, while talking to stylists, designers and agents about the issues. Pitched at tea time, is this moralising or training teens?

Holby Blue BBC1, 8pm The ever-expanding home of the helpful and the scheming, gets a new addition to its geography. The police officers and CID unit are obviously being underappreciated and this has got to stop. With finding out about Lucy’s baptism of fire and DI Keenan’s marriage strife, they’ll soon be part of the family.

What About Brian? E4, 9pm A comedy series about a thirtysomething bachelor and his quest to find Miss Right. Is the male biological clock ticking or is it just that all of his friends are coupled up? Who knows what his incentive is, but this week he’s going at it with gusto as he dates two different women within 24 hours. Livin’ the dream. Sort of.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00 Breakfast 9.15 Animal Park 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.45 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News; Weather 1.30 Regional News And Weather 1.40 Neighbours 2.05 Doctors 2.35 Murder, She Wrote 3.20 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3.25 Pitt And Kantrop 3.50 Watch My Chops 4.00 The Basil Brush Show 4.30 Roman Mysteries 5.00 Blue Peter 5.25 Newsround 5.35 Neighbours

6.00am–10.30 CBeebies 10.30 Primary History: Britain Since 1948 10.50 Landmarks: Pakistan And Its People 11.10 Churchill’s Bodyguard 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Pod’s Mission (x2) 1.30 Animal Park 2.00 Living In The Sun 3.00 Through The Keyhole 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Ready Steady Cook 5.15 The Weakest Link

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 2.00 Midsomer Murders 3.00 For The Rest Of Your Life 4.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot

6.00am The Treacle People 6.10 The Hoobs (x2) 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Just Shoot Me (x2) 9.00 Frasier 9.30 Take Away My Takeaway 10.00 Don’t Make Me Angry 10.30 Underdogs 11.30 The Deadly Knowledge Show 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 Supporting Acts 12.40 Life Begins Again 1.40 FILM: The Wicked Lady (1945) 3.30 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The New Paul O’Grady Show

6.00 BBC News And Weather 6.30 South East Today; Weather 7.00 Castaway Danny drops in on the castaways’ camp to deliver another predicament. Won’t he be a popular fellow?! 7.30 EastEnders The feud between the Beales and the Mitchells steps up when Ian finds a brick wall in his back yard. Better than in his kitchen. 8.00 Holby Blue See highlights. 9.00 CCTV: You Are Being Watched Britain is the most watched nation on earth with more than four million surveillance cameras. Jamie Theakston narrates the history of CCTV, revealing how it spread and where it’s going. A great big dark video library in the ground? 10.00 BBC News; Regional News; Weather 10.35 Imagine... Gilbert And George: No Surrender For 40 years, the work of British artists and ‘living sculptures’ Gilbert and George has taken a provocative, often uncomfortable look at their lives. Alan Yentob is invited into the couple’s East End home for an intimate insight into their longstanding partnership. 11.25 FILM: Unfaithful (2002) Starring Richard Gere. Thriller. 1.25am Sign Zone: See Hear 1.55 Maxwell 3.25 Horizon 4.15 Hairy Bikers Ride Again 4.45 Joins BBC News 24

6.00 Eggheads Cracking quiz. Geddit? 6.30 Great British Menu It’s the second round of the South West heat and Michael Caines is defending his title against Mark Hix. It’s spatulas at dawn. 7.00 SuperSlim Me: A Mischief Special See highlights. 8.00 The Apprentice The ten have to sell British food to French people in France. With market stalls laid on by Sugar in a northern Gallic town, the teams spend a day sourcing produce in Kent before crossing the Channel to flog their British grub to the fussiest foodies in Europe. If it was easy everyone would be doing it. 9.00 Horizon With the help of forensic scientists and real-life murder investigations, Horizon explores whether it is possible to commit a perfect murder. Hitchcock eat your heart out. 9.50 This World International investigative documentary series. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 First Rites – From The Cradle To The Prom: Timeshift Documentary looking at how the rituals that mark our milestones in life are changing in today’s society. The film reveals the new milestones for the Blair generation. 12.20am Joins BBC News 24 2.00 English File: Death Of A Salesman 4.30 The Merchant Of Venice

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Eli and Debbie concoct a devious plan to raise much-needed cash. More devious Dingle plotting afoot. 8.00 Midsomer Murders When Dr Alan Delaney is killed by a hit-andrun driver, Barnaby realises that the real target was Delaney’s senior partner, Dr James Kirkwood. Is the killer trying to prevent James from marrying beautiful divorcee Delyth Mostyn? How is the death linked to the £30,000 which is missing from the surgery account? Barnaby and Jones travel to Snowdonia to unravel the truth. Because truth loves going on mountain walks. And lollipops. 10.00 Nightmare Nannies: Confessions Thousands of households let nannies into their homes to care for their children, but can they be really trusted? This programme reveals tales of broken marriages, wrecked homes and shortcuts to childcare taken by some nannies. Daycare was never so scary. 10.30 ITV News; Weather 11.00 Real Crime: Nailing The Nail Bomber Dramatic documentary about the police manhunt for David Copeland, the nail bomber. 12.00am ITV Play: Glitterball 4.05 Reggae And Ska Forever 5.00 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.00 The Simpsons Troy McClure hosts this special show, with highlights from the first Simpsons shorts and brand new footage. 6.30 Hollyoaks Elliot and Steph are overjoyed when a rocket scientist offers to help them with their plans. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 How To Look Good Naked Wear good glasses. 9.00 Gordon Ramsay’s F Word Dawn French helps Gordon launch Find Me a Fanny, his search for a new female TV cook and Janet Street-Porter slaps Food ASBOs on ‘anti-social food behaviour’. 10.00 The Seven Sins Of England Joseph Bullman challenges the belief that England is in the midst of an unprecedented surge of anti-social behaviour by showing the nation’s heritage of hooliganism, bingedrinking and violence. S’in the genes. 11.05 Roy Chubby Brown: Britain’s Rudest Comedian Tour doc. 12.05am PartyPoker.com Poker Nations Cup 1.10 British GT Championship 1.35 Velux 5 Oceans Ultimate Solo Challenge 2.05 KOTV Classics 3.30 Gumball 3000 3.55 3 Minute Wonder 4.00 Tudor Times 4.40 Animated Tales Of The World 5.55 Making It

6.00am The Save-Ums! 6.10 Fifi & The Flowertots 6.25 Franny’s Feet 6.35 Bird Bath 6.45 Hi-5 7.15 Roary The Racing Car 7.30 Little Princess 7.45 Make Way For Noddy 8.00 Say It With Noddy 8.05 Fifi & Flowertots 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.40 Old Bear Stories 8.50 Mio Mao 9.00 Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha 11.30 News 12.00pm Home & Away 12.30 Colin & Justin On The Estate 1.30 Russell Grant’s Postcards 1.40 FILM: Heart Full Of Rain (1997) 3.35 News 3.40 FILM: King & Queen Of Moonlight Bay (2003) 5.30 News 6.00 Home And Away Alf and Sally learn the reasons behind Martha’s erratic behaviour. She’s preggers! 6.30 Two And A Half Men 7.00 Five News 7.15 Gavin Stamp’s Orient Express In the first edition, Gavin travels to the Gare de l’Est in Paris where the restored Orient Express will take him to Austria. Nice trip if you can get it. 8.00 Return Of The Tribe Documentary series in which Donal MacIntyre guides six members of a remote Papua New Guinean tribe around Britain. 9.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Grissom is sent a miniature crime scene in a cardboard box and attempts to solve a murder before it is committed. 10.00 CSI: Miami When evidence suggests that a series of murders is linked to organised crime, Horatio and the team are called to investigate. They are led to a pair of film students. Creatives, eh?! 11.00 Law And Order: Special Victims Unit When a best-selling singer’s son is killed in an accident, the detectives realise that parental neglect could kill her daughter too. 12.00am Arrest And Trial 12.30 Arrest And Trial 12.55 NBA Basketball Game 4.20 Supercross World Championship 5.10 BriSCA Formula One Stock Car Racing

6.00am Football League Review 8.00 Ford Monday Night Football 9.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 10.30 Conference Football 12.00pm Ford Monday Night Football 1.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 2.30 Conference Football 4.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 5.00 Ford Monday Night Football 6.30 Revista De La Liga 7.30 LIVE Conference Football 10.00 You’re On Sky Sports 11.00 Revista De La Liga 12.00am Conference Football 1.30 Revista De La Liga 2.30 You’re On Sky Sports 3.30 Poker: Sports Stars Challenge

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 On The Edge 7.00 WWE Afterburn 8.00 On The Edge 8.30 Wild Spirits 9.00 British Superbikes 12.00pm LIVE Tennis: ATP Masters Series 6.00 Heritage Grand Touring Car Challenge: HGTCC - Donington 6.30 Rally Fever 7.30 LIVE Tennis: ATP Masters Series 9.30 Heritage Grand Touring Car Challenge: HGTCC Donington 10.00 Poker: Sports Stars Challenge 12.00am Surfing 1.00 Sports Unlimited 2.00 Fishing: Thinking Tackle

Sky Sports 3 7.00am Cricket: Friends Provident Trophy 8.30 World Motor Sport 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Speedway: Elite League 2.00 British Superbikes 5.00 WWE Smackdown 7.00 Wild Spirits 7.30 LIVE Greyhound Racing - Grand National 10.00 Sports Unlimited 11.00 Fishing: Thinking Tackle 12.00am Rally Fever 1.00 On The Edge 1.30 Heritage GT

Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

More4

Living

9.00am Project Catwalk 10.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 12.00pm Angel 1.00 Best Of Bones 2.00 Cold Case 3.00 Las Vegas 4.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 6.00 Stargate Atlantis 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Brainiac: Science Abuse 9.00 Road Wars 10.00 Badger Or Bust 11.00 Law And Order 12.00am Las Vegas

7.00pm Spendaholics Saved My Life 8.00 The Bulls**t Detective 9.00 The Panic Room 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Ideal 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.40 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps (x2) 12.40am The Panic Room 1.40 Ideal 2.10 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps (x2) 3.05 The Bulls**t Detective

7.00pm Art Of The Garden 8.00 The World 8.30 Marcus Brigstocke’s Trophy People 9.00 The Diary Of A Nobody 9.30 The League Of Gentlemen 10.00 Operation Good Guys 10.30 Oswald’s Ghost: Storyville 12.00am The Diary Of A Nobody 12.30 How The Edwardians Spoke 1.30 Oswald’s Ghost: Storyville

12.30pm Coronation Street 1.00 Emmerdale 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show 2.35 The Ricki Lake Show 3.20 The Jeremy Kyle Show 4.25 Sally Jessy Raphael 5.10 Airline USA 5.40 Judge Judy 7.00 American Idol (x2) 9.00 FILM: The Fast And The Furious (2001) 11.00 FILM: About A Boy (2002) 1.00am ITV Play: Glitterball

12.55pm Hannay 2.00 Never The Twain 2.30 Tales Of The Unexpected 3.00 Pie In The Sky 4.05 Cagney And Lacey 5.05 Quantum Leap 6.10 Rising Damp 6.40 Movies Now 6.50 Lovejoy 8.00 The Bill: Day Of Reckoning 9.00 City Lights 10.00 Inspector Wexford: Shake Hands Forever 12.10am Lovejoy

2.05pm Switched 2.40 Ed 3.30 The OC 4.30 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 The War At Home 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 What About Brian. See highlights. 10.00 Derren Brown: Trick Or Treat 10.30 Peep Show 11.00 Skins 12.05am Scrubs (x2) 1.05 Ed 1.55 Derren Brown

12.00pm Property Ladder 1.05 Deal Or No Deal 2.00 ER (x2) 4.00 FILM: Boy On A Dolphin (1957) 6.00 3 Minute Wonder 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 More4 News 8.30 The Daily Show 9.00 Animal Farm 10.00 FILM: Privates On Parade (1984) 12.05am NYPD Blue 1.00 Countdown

12.00pm Maury 12.55 The Fix 1.00 Will And Grace (x2) 2.00 Bewitched (x2) 3.00 Close To Home 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 The X Files 8.00 Exposed: Angelina Jolie 9.00 Sensing Murder 10.30 Most Haunted 11.30 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.30am Most Haunted Extra

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

1.45pm Some Mothers Do ‘Ave ‘Em 2.30 The Good Life 3.10 Porridge 3.50 Only Fools And Horses 4.55 Icons 5.00 Dallas 6.00 Charlie’s Angels 7.00 FILM: Carry On Dick (1974) 9.00 Jonathan Creek 10.10 New Tricks 11.20 Men Behaving Badly (x2) 12.40am Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps 1.20 Room 101

2.00pm Becker (x2) 3.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 4.00 King Of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Frasier (x2) 7.00 Becker (x2) 8.00 That 70s Show (x2) 9.00 King Of Queens (x2) 10.00 Sex And The City (x2) 11.10 South Park 11.40 The World Stands Up 12.10am Live At The Fringe

12.00pm Mythbusters 1.00 Deadliest Catch 2.00 The FBI Files 3.00 Forensic Detectives 4.00 Time Team 5.00 How It’s Made (x2) 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 Mythbusters 8.00 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls 9.00 Deadliest Catch 10.00 Giant Squid 11.00 Sinking Of An Aircraft Carrier 12.00am The FBI Files

11.00am Andromeda 12.00pm Farscape 1.00 Star Trek 2.00 The Lost World 3.00 FILM: Ground Zero (2000) 5.00 Dark Angel 6.00 The Lost World 7.00 Roswell 8.00 Dark Angel 9.00 FILM: Stargate (1994) 11.20 Medium 12.25am Erotic Misadventures Of The Invisible Man 2.00 Medium 3.00 ReGenesis

12.00pm A Day’s Pleasure (1919) 12.25 The Kid (1921) 1.25 The Browning Version (1951) 3.10 Move Over, Darling (1963) 4.55 Sunset Boulevard (1950) 6.50 Drama Close-Up 7.20 Bus Stop (1956) 9.00 Gypsy (1962) 11.25 A Lovely Way To Die (1968) 1.20am Move Over, Darling (1963)

12.00pm Apres Vous (2003) 2.00 Tube Tales (1999) 4.00 Roads To Koktebel (2004) 5.50 Indie Close-Up 6.20 Mountain Gorilla (1992) 7.05 Apres Vous (2003) 9.00 Mulholland Falls (1996) 10.50 Tube Tales (1999) 12.30am Roads To Koktebel (2004) 2.30 Sci-Fi & Horror Close-Up

1.00pm Affair In Trinidad (1952) 3.05 Blanche Fury (1948) 4.55 Dragonwyck (1946) 6.55 The Madness Of King George (1994) 9.00 The Long Kiss Goodnight (1996). Geena Davies goes from 50s-style housewife to backside kicking killer in a formulaic thriller. 11.10 Northfork (2003) 1.10am Man On Fire (1987)

12.40pm Romeo And Juliet (1936) 3.00 Captain Nemo And The Underwater City (1969) 4.55 Where The Boys Are (1960) 6.45 The Treasure Of The Sierra Madre (1948) 9.00 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968) 11.30 Demon Seed (1977) 1.15am Moonfleet (1955) 2.45 Teleshopping

Classics

Indie

056_LS320_TV_Wed

5/3/07

12:57 PM

Page 1

wednesday 9 Property Ladder Channel 4, 8pm The Beeney is back in Brighton – try saying that six times in a row fast – and she’s come to revisit Myles Gilbert, the fine young man with the great big dreams about an extravagant penthouse on the seafront. At last it’s finished, but now he’s got some new projects. And some new debts to go with them. Oh dear.

The World’s Most Offensive Joke Channel 4, 11.05pm The release of The Aristocrats – a documentary about a grotesque joke that has been told since the vaudeville era – has brought offensive jokes back into sight. This thought-provoking doc reveals the history of the ‘bad’ joke, its place in society and relationship with freedom of speech.

My Big Breasts And Me BBC3, 9pm Not a Barbie-meets-Pamela Anderson love affair but a tale of backache, ogling and condescension, all due to mammoth mammaries. With the shape du mode being ‘skinny girl with boyish chest’, fashion student Maddie finds it hard to be taken seriously. But why are big boobs something to laugh about?

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Animal Park 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.45 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News; Weather 1.30 Regional News And Weather 1.40 Neighbours 2.05 Doctors 2.35 Murder, She Wrote 3.20 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3.25 Pitt And Kantrop 3.50 The Cramp Twins 4.00 Prank Patrol 4.30 Raven 5.00 Blue Peter 5.25 Newsround 5.35 Neighbours

6.00am – 10.15 CBeebies 10.30 In Search Of Myths And Heroes 11.30 The Daily Politics 1.00pm Garden Invaders 1.30 Working Lunch 2.00 Living In The Sun 3.00 Through The Keyhole 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Ready Steady Cook 5.15 The Weakest Link

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 2.00 Midsomer Murders 3.00 For The Rest Of Your Life 4.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot

6.00am The Treacle People 6.10 The Hoobs (x2) 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Just Shoot Me (x2) 9.00 Frasier 9.30 Take Away My Takeaway 10.00 Don’t Make Me Angry 10.30 Underdogs 11.30 The Deadly Knowledge Show 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 Life Begins Again 1.30 Channel 4 Racing From Chester 3.30 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The New Paul O’Grady Show

6.00am You’re On Sky Sports 7.00 Revista De La Liga 8.00 Conference Football 9.30 Poker: Sports Stars Challenge 11.30 Revista De La Liga 12.30pm Conference Football 2.00 Poker: Sports Stars Challenge 4.00 Revista De La Liga 5.00 Conference Football 6.30 Total Rugby 7.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 7.30 LIVE Ford Football Special 10.30 Spanish Cup Football 12.30am Ford Football Special 2.00 Spanish Cup Football 4.00 Close

6.00 BBC News And Weather 6.30 South East Today; Weather 7.00 Demolition A Torquay hotel that hosted stars like Jimmy Cricket and Des O’Connor is pushed off a cliff. Critics, eh? 7.30 The Green Green Grass Marlene’s pursuit of a more holistic way of life proves to be crunch time for Boycie and something of an eye opener for Beth. No blinking allowed. 8.00 Watchdog Bad guys being told they’re bad. On your behalf. 8.30 Car Wars Doc series following Manchester’s specialist car crime squad. Eat your heart out, Herbie. 9.00 The Apprentice It’s a scavenger hunt. The candidates have one day to buy ten items from a list for the least money possible and get back to the boardroom by 6pm. 10.00 BBC News; Regional News; Weather 10.35 The National Lottery Draws 10.40 One Foot In The Grave The Meldrews return from a disastrous holiday to discover that their home has burnt down. Don’t believe it? 11.10 Match Of The Day 11.55 FILM: Disturbing Behaviour (1998) Starring James Marsden, Katie Holmes. Tongue-in-cheek horror. 1.15am Sign Zone: The Gardener’s Year 1.45 My Life As A Child 2.15 Natural World 3.05 To Buy Or Not To Buy 3.35 Joins BBC News 24

6.00 Eggheads Quiz time! 6.30 Great British Menu Mark provides a modern rabbit and crayfish stargazy pie, and Michael goes for sophistication with honey roast duck. 7.00 Jonathan Meades: Abroad Again Jonathan revisits the places his father (a biscuit rep) took him to as a child. Nice. 7.50 Coast: South Coast – Alderney Neil uncovers the horrific history of Nazi atrocities in Alderney. 8.00 Neneh And Andi Dish It Up Neneh Cherry’s brother Eagle Eye is in London and to celebrate they invite some guys round for traditional Caribbean food. 8.30 Sweet Baby James James Martin and his best dessert recipes. 9.00 Natural World Nature documentary featuring the wildlife of Hawaii’s famous surf zone and the surfers and scientists who are fighting to protect it. 9.50 Secret Fawns Of Yellowstone 10.00 The Apprentice: You’re Fired Adrian Chiles and guests grill the newly-fired candidate. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Wedding Rites: In Sickness And In Health Doc looking at how and why weddings are on the increase and divorce rates in decline. 12.20am Joins BBC News 24 2.00 BBC Learning Zone: Schools: Macbeth 4.00 English – The Birth Of Horror / Shock Horror

6.00am The Save-Ums! 6.10 Fifi & The Flowertots 6.25 Franny’s Feet 6.35 Bird Bath 6.45 Hi-5 7.15 Roary The Racing Car 7.30 Little Princess 7.45 Make Way For Noddy 8.00 Say It With Noddy 8.05 Fifi & The Flowertots 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.40 Old Bear Stories 8.50 Mio Mao 9.00 Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha 11.30 News 12.00pm Home & Away 12.30 Colin & Justin On The Estate 1.30 Russell Grant’s Postcards 1.40 FILM: Dying To Belong (1997) 3.25 News 3.30 FILM: Columbo (1995) 5.30 News 6.00 Home And Away Ric accepts a lifeline in prison – but there are strings attached. It’s a puppet lifeline! 6.30 Two And A Half Men 7.00 Five News 7.15 Lemur Island The members of the Graveyard Gang find their territory desecrated, and the two packs come into direct conflict. Fight! 8.00 How The Other Half Learns Documentary series in which six GCSE pupils from two vastly different schools embark on a student exchange. 9.00 FILM: Maid In Manhattan (2002) Starring Jennifer Lopez, Ralph Fiennes, Natasha Richardson, Stanley Tucci. Romantic comedy about a New York single mother who, through a case of mistaken identity, is thrown together with a handsome millionaire. When the modern day Cinderella meets and falls for the high-powered politician, their differences become evident as they discover that the distance between their lives is far greater than the subway ride from Manhattan to the Bronx. 11.05 Who Is The Real Jennifer Lopez? Documentary about the singer and actress. 12.10am PartyPoker.com European Open III 1.40 Major League Baseball 4.45 NHRA Drag Racing

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Eli and Debbie celebrate their success in true Dingle style. That would involve alcohol and mayhem we suppose. 7.30 Coronation Street Jerry refuses to see the giant shed as a problem. Its plot to take over the world has not yet become apparent. 8.00 The Bill A man is accused of attacking a woman with a golf club while attempting to steal her car – he claims he won the car in a poker game. A likely tale. 9.00 City Lights An injured Colin and Howie wake up in a caravan face-toface with Scott Sweeney, who is convinced that they are in possession of a missing stash of drugs. What a mistakea to makea. 10.00 Get A Grip This week Ben Elton and Alexa Chung discuss alternative lifestyles and inner growth. Tarot cards, birth stones and energising crystals – are they just a load of rubbish? And if our generation is truly in touch with itself, why do we need printed information to tell us when a yogurt is off? 10.30 ITV News; Weather 11.00 Weather From Hell A truly British Hell. 12.00am ITV Play: Glitterball 4.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 5.00 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Craig is gutted when he sees John Paul and Spike together, and his bad moods begin to annoy Sarah. Moody so and so. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder: The Seven Sins Of England 8.00 Property Ladder See highlights. 9.00 Grand Designs Kevin McCloud is in Tuscany to review the progress of a couple who bought a ruined castle in 1999 only to spend four years battling the Italian authorities for planning permission to convert it into a five bedroom home. All they really wanted was to live in a castle. Not much to ask, is it? 10.00 Desperate Housewives Travers’s birthday party spells trouble for Mrs McCluskey. 11.05 The World’s Most Offensive Joke See highlights. 12.05am Peep Show Comedy series about two socially dysfunctional losers. Jeremy gets a job working as a handyman for his hero, techno musician Russell, but Mark suspects Russell’s motivation. 12.40 Balls Of Steel 1.25 The Osbournes (x2) 2.15 Your Face Or Mine? 2.45 Off Centre (x2) 3.35 The Bernie Mac Show (x2) 4.25 Wild Things 5.15 Countdown

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 On The Edge 7.00 WWE Heat 8.00 Sports Unlimited 9.00 On The Edge 9.30 Heritage Grand Touring Car Challenge: HGTCC - Donington 10.00 Fishing: Thinking Tackle 11.00 Rally Fever 12.00pm LIVE Tennis: ATP Masters Series 6.00 On The Edge 6.30 Irish Greyhound Racing 7.00 European Tour Weekly 7.30 LIVE Tennis: ATP Masters Series 9.30 European Tour Weekly 10.00 Golf: Euro Pro Tour 10.30 Total Rugby 11.30 European Tour Weekly 12.00am Poker: Sports Stars Challenge 2.00 Golf: Euro Pro Tour 3.00 Close

Sky Sports 3 10.00am Surfing 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Sports Unlimited 1.00 Rally Fever 2.00 On The Edge 2.30 Wild Spirits 3.00 Surfing 4.00 Sports Unlimited 5.00 WWE The Bottom Line 6.00 WWE Afterburn 7.00 FIA GT Championship 8.00 Tenpin Bowling: World Masters 9.00 On The Edge 9.30 Irish Greyhound Racing 10.00 Watersports World 11.00 Trans World Sport 12.00am FIA GT Championship 1.00 On The Edge 1.30 Irish Greyhound Racing 2.00 Trans World Sport 3.00 FIA GT Championship 4.00 Irish Greyhound Racing 4.30 LIVE International Cricket

Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

More4

Living

9.00am Project Catwalk 10.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 12.00pm Angel 1.00 Best Of Bones 2.00 Cold Case 3.00 Las Vegas 4.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 6.00 Stargate Atlantis 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 FILM: Volcano (1997) 10.00 Lost 11.00 Law And Order 12.00am Stargate Atlantis 1.00 Las Vegas

7.00pm Castaway 7.30 Honey We’re Killing The Kids Revisited 8.00 Wedding Stories 9.00 My Big Breasts And Me. See highlights. 10.00 FILM: Kill Bill Vol 1 (2003) 11.40 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps (x2) 12.40am American Dad (x2) 1.25 My Big Breasts And Me. See highlights.

7.10pm A Study In Sherlock 7.50 Diary Of A Nobody: Shorts 8.00 The World 8.30 Thoroughly Modern: The Bicycle 9.00 Miss Marie Lloyd: The Queen Of The Musical 10.20 A Study In Sherlock 11.00 The Man Who Loved Sherlock Holmes 12.00am Miss Marie Lloyd: The Queen Of The Musical

12.30pm Emmerdale 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show 2.35 The Ricki Lake Show 3.20 The Jeremy Kyle Show 4.25 Sally Jessy Raphael 5.15 Airline USA 5.40 Judge Judy 7.00 Smallville 8.00 FILM: About A Boy (2002) 10.00 Coronation Street 10.30 Deadline 11.30 Jack Osbourne: Adrenaline Junkie II 12.30am Deadline

12.55pm Hannay 2.00 Never The Twain 2.30 Tales Of The Unexpected 3.00 Pie In The Sky 4.05 Cagney And Lacey 5.05 Quantum Leap 6.05 Rising Damp 6.35 Film File 6.50 Lovejoy 8.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 Rising Damp 9.30 FILM: Sleuth (1972) 12.15am Lovejoy 1.25 Heartbeat 2.25 Brideshead Revisited

2.05pm Switched 2.40 Ed 3.30 The OC 4.30 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 The War At Home 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Ugly Betty 10.00 Miss Match 11.00 Desperate Housewives 12.00am Scrubs (x2) 12.55 Ed 1.40 Miss Match 2.25 Porn: A Family Business (x2)

2.00pm ER (x2) 4.00 FILM: The Fighting Seabees (1944) 5.55 3 Minute Wonder (x2) 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 More4 News 8.30 The Daily Show 9.00 Shrink Rap 10.00 Grand Designs: Trade Secrets 10.35 Seven Days That Shook The Weathermen 11.35 NYPD Blue 12.35am The Daily Show

1.00pm Will And Grace (x2) 2.00 Bewitched (x2) 3.00 Close To Home 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 The X Files 8.00 Canada’s Next Top Model 9.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 10.00 Criminal Minds 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am The X Files

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

12.00pm Charlie’s Angels 1.00 Catherine Cookson’s The Cinder Path 4.00 The Afternoon Play: Turkish Delight 5.00 Dallas 6.00 Charlie’s Angels 7.00 FILM: Carry On Doctor (1967) 9.00 Dalziel And Pascoe 11.20 Men Behaving Badly (x2) 12.40 Early Doors 1.20 Room 101 2.00 Have I Got 2002 For You

2.00pm Becker (x2) 3.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 4.00 King Of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Frasier (x2) 7.00 Becker (x2) 8.00 That 70s Show (x2) 9.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 10.00 Sex And The City (x2) 11.10 South Park 11.40 The World Stands Up 12.10am Live At The Fringe

2.00pm The FBI Files 3.00 Forensic Detectives 4.00 Time Team 5.00 How It’s Made (x2) 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 Mythbusters 8.00 How Do They Do It? 8.30 How It’s Made 9.00 Decoding Disaster 10.00 Perfect Disaster: Mega Flood 11.00 Minutes From Disaster 12.00am The FBI Files 1.00 Murder Trail

12.00pm Farscape 1.00 Star Trek 2.00 The Lost World 3.00 FILM: Earthstorm (2006) 5.00 Dark Angel 6.00 The Lost World 7.00 Roswell 8.00 Dark Angel 9.00 Heroes 10.00 FILM: Devil’s Den (2006) 11.50 Medium 1.00am FILM: Emmanuelle’s Private Collection: Sex Goddess (2004) 3.00 ReGenesis

2.00pm The Disorderly Orderly (1964) 3.45 Chaplin Today: The Great Dictator 4.20 The Greatest Story Ever Told (1965) 7.30 The Disorderly Orderly (1964) 9.00 The Abominable Dr Phibes (1971) 10.40 Sunday, Bloody Sunday (1971) 12.40am Tales Of Terror (1962) 2.15 The Party (1968)

12.00pm All About My Mother (1999) 1.55 Don’t Move (2004) 4.00 A Home At The End Of The World (2004) 5.40 Space Station 3D (2002) 6.30 Indie CloseUp 7.00 Les Diaboliques (1955) 9.00 Mean Creek (2004) 10.35 All About My Mother (1999) 12.20am Don’t Move (2004)

1.00pm Down To Earth (1947) 3.05 The Silent Enemy (1958) 5.10 Night Train To Munich (1940) 7.05 Brewster’s Millions (1985) Richard Pryor stars in this comedy as a man challenged to spend millions to inherit a billion. 9.00 Downfall (2004) 11.55 To Kill A King (2003) 1.55am Whisky (2004)

6.55am The Green Helmet (1961) 8.30 Till The Clouds Roll By (1946) 11.00 The VIPs (1963) 1.15pm Jailhouse Rock (1957) 3.00 Mrs Soffel (1984) 5.05 The Yellow Rolls-Royce (1965) 7.20 My Favourite Year (1982) 9.00 Point Blank (1967) 10.40 Marlowe (1969) 12.25am Eye Of The Devil (1967)

Classics

Indie

057_LS320_TV_Thu

5/3/07

12:59 PM

Page 1

thursday 10 Saddam’s Tribe Channel 4, 9pm Feature-length drama portraying the story of family loyalty, rivalry and betrayal lying behind the fall of Saddam Hussein’s regime in 2003. It’s enough to make Shakespeare wish he’d written it. The struggle between the dictator’s son Uday and son-inlaw Hussein Kamel is both illuminating and frightening.

House Five, 9pm When an 18-year-old man has a heart attack, it falls to the medical Scooby gang to find out what went wrong. The pesky kids get into their prognosis huddle and House manages to do the unthinkable and upset his great friend Wilson. Wilson’s under pressure from the police for lying about House’s meds. Oops.

Eurovision Song Contest Semi-Final 2007 BBC3, 8pm As there are now 42 countries competing in the Eurovision, if they all went up against each other at once we’d be listening to melodies until Christmas. So here are 28 of them. With ten qualifying at the end of the show for Saturday’s final, you can pick your favourites now.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Animal Park 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.45 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News; Weather 1.30 Regional News And Weather 1.40 Neighbours 2.05 Doctors 2.35 Murder, She Wrote 3.20 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3.25 Pitt And Kantrop 3.55 Watch My Chops 4.10 The Basil Brush Show 4.35 Dinosapien 5.00 Blue Peter 5.25 Newsround 5.35 Neighbours

6.00am CBeebies 7.00 CBBC 10.30 Look And Read 10.50 Music Makers 11.10 English Express 11.30 Big Slam Poetry 11.50 Primary Geography 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Animal Park 1.45 Living In The Sun 2.45 Escape To The Country 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Ready Steady Cook 5.15 The Weakest Link

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 2.00 Midsomer Murders 3.00 For The Rest Of Your Life 4.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot

6.00am The Treacle People 6.10 The Hoobs (x2) 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Just Shoot Me (x2) 9.00 Frasier 9.30 Take Away My Takeaway 10.00 Don’t Make Me Angry 10.30 Underdogs 11.30 The Deadly Knowledge Show 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 Life Begins Again 1.30 Channel 4 Racing From Chester And Goodwood 3.30 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The New Paul O’Grady Show

6.00am Spanish Cup Football 8.00 Ford Football Special 9.30 Golf: Euro Pro Tour 10.30 European Tour Weekly 11.00 LIVE European Tour Golf 1.00pm Total Rugby 1.30 Ford Football Special 3.00 Irish Greyhound Racing 3.30 Total Rugby 4.00 LIVE European Tour Golf 6.00 Guinness Rugby Club 7.30 LIVE Ford Football Special 10.15 FIFA Futbol Mundial 10.45 Guinness Rugby Club 12.15am Ford Football Special 1.45 FIFA Futbol Mundial 2.15 Boots ‘n’ All

6.00 BBC News And Weather 6.30 South East Today; Weather 7.00 Castaway The castaways face another predicament as Danny forces them to reflect on island life. 7.30 EastEnders Max chooses to spend time with Stacey on his birthday. A fair virtuoso in playing with fire is our Max now. 8.00 Holby City Kyla struggles to hold it together as her world lies in ruins. Nobody knew she was from Babylon. 9.00 Hustle Danny is convinced the team needs a new grifter and begins interviews, but the candidates aren’t quite what the rest of the team are expecting. What do you expect a con man to look like? If he looked like that he wouldn’t be a very good con man. Duh. 10.00 BBC News; Regional News; Weather 10.35 Question Time Topical debate chaired by David Dimbleby. 11.35 This Week A political review of the week presented by Andrew Neil and his resident helpers Michael Portillo and Diane Abbott. 12.25am Sign Zone: Panorama An investigation into the increasing separation and segregation between Muslim Asians and whites. 12.55 Victoria’s Empire 1.55 Return To Lullingstone Castle 2.25 New Year New You: To Buy Or Not To Buy 2.55 BBC News 24

6.00 Eggheads Quiz fun. 6.30 Great British Menu 14 of the nation’s top chefs compete to convince the French that we can match them in gastronomic prowess. 7.00 Wild Wensleydale The flora and fauna in Yorkshire’s Wensleydale. 7.30 The Museum Behind the scenes at the British Museum. 8.00 Hairy Bikers Ride Again Si and Dave head into the film town of Ouarzazate. 8.30 It’s Not Easy Being Green Dick and James Strawbridge help other people to ‘go green’. 9.00 The Catherine Tate Show Award-winning comedy sketch series. 9.30 Roman’s Empire When Roman has a brush with death, he hands over his empire to Nikki. 10.00 The Graham Norton Show Trademark Norton comedy, chat, eccentric stories and characters. Tori Amos guests for extra eccentricity. 10.30 Newsnight With Jeremy Paxman. No Tori Amos here, sadly. 11.20 Desi DNA Asian arts, culture and entertainment magazine. 11.50 FILM: The Legend Of 1900 (1998) Starring Tim Roth, Pruitt Vince, Clarence Williams III, Bill Nunn and Melanie Thierry. Fantasy about a piano virtuoso who spends his entire life aboard a cruise ship. 2.00am BBC Learning Zone: Schools: The Animated Canterbury Tales 4.00 The Animated Epics

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Lisa and Viv try to stop Debbie and Eli getting closer. Surely getting closer is what being a Dingle is all about? 7.30 Emmerdale Family Album A look through the album of one of Emmerdale’s longest-serving families – the Sugdens. Featuring interviews with Clive Hornby, Elizabeth Estensen, Sammy Winward. 8.00 The Bill Diane and Mickey question Maggie Carpenter, who claims to be a mugging victim. Smithy thinks she’s just being a drama queen, but she tells them she’s working undercover for Scotland Yard. So there, Smithy. 9.00 The Last Detective When DC Davies and his team investigate the murder of an old man, they discover a disturbing tape in his possession which implicates him in the murder of a young woman years previously. Dum, dum, DUM! Twisting and turning like a confused sherbert dip. 10.30 ITV News; Weather 11.00 Meridian Soccer Night 11.30 The Way We Were A nostalgic look back in time featuring vintage footage from the South and the memories of local personalities. 12.00am ITV Play: Make Your Play 4.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 5.00 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks The McQueen kids all seem to be keeping secrets from mum Myra. John Paul won’t discuss his boyfriend Spike, while Carmel and Jacqui continue their secret affairs, until one of them is discovered. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder: The Seven Sins Of England 8.00 A Place In The Sun Not on the pavement. Just ‘cause the sun happens to fall there doesn’t make it a reason for a TV show. 8.30 A Place In The Sun Still not pavement – this one’s all about Tuscany. 9.00 Saddam’s Tribe See highlights. 11.05 Hitler: The Comedy Years A look at how Hitler and the Nazis have figured prominently in British humour, providing material for everyone from Monty Python to Spike Milligan, Freddie Starr and even Prince Harry. 12.05am The Aristocrats The most filthy and obscene joke in the world is told by over 100 comedians. 1.45 FILM: Disco Pigs (2001) Moving drama. A boy and a girl are born within moments of each other. 3.25 Love Me Or Leave Me Alone 3.40 The Seven Sins Of England 4.40 3 Minute Wonder 4.45 Unreported World 5.10 3 Minute Wonder 5.15 In Your Dreams 5.25 Countdown

6.00am The Save-Ums! 6.10 Fifi 6.25 Franny’s Feet 6.35 Bird Bath 6.45 Hi-5 7.15 Roary The Racing Car 7.30 Little Princess 7.45 Noddy 8.00 Say It With Noddy 8.05 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.40 Old Bear Stories 8.50 Mio Mao 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 Five News 12.00pm Home And Away 12.30 Colin And Justin On The Estate 1.35 Russell Grant’s Postcards 1.45 FILM: Al Jennings Of Oklahoma (1951) 3.20 Five News Update 3.25 FILM: Cutaway (2000) 5.30 Five News 6.00 Home And Away A jealous Belle makes a hasty decision. She’s good at those. 6.30 Two And A Half Men 7.00 Five News 7.15 How Not To Decorate Interior design series presented by Colin McAllister and Justin Ryan. Count the flounces. 8.00 Ann Maurice: Interior Rivalry House Doctor Ann Maurice oversees a contest to choose a top new interior-design talent. The two remaining contestants must home stage an entire house before one of them is declared the winner. Magnolia at the ready. 9.00 House See highlights. 10.00 Shark A black girl from Compton is murdered at a party that Stark’s daughter Julie also attended. The media suspect that the crime is racially motivated, but Stark believes it may have something to do with a romance gone wrong. 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Catherine, Warrick and Nick find the bodies of two women at a construction site buried under tar. Sara and Catherine have a dispute, while Sara opens up to Grissom about her past. Yes! Juicy secrets about the Sidle. 12.00am Quiz Call 4.00 Dutch Football 5.10 Football Argentina

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 On The Edge 7.00 WWE Experience 8.00 Watersports World 9.00 On The Edge 9.30 Irish Greyhound Racing 10.00 Motor Sport 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm LIVE Tennis: ATP Masters Series 6.00 ATP Tennis 6.30 Extreme Carp 7.00 NBA Action 7.30 LIVE Tennis: ATP Masters Series 9.30 ATP Tennis 10.00 Boots ‘n’ All 11.00 Netball: Super League 1.00am Guinness Rugby Club

Sky Sports 3 9.00am LIVE International Cricket 12.30pm Watersports World 1.30 Irish Greyhound Racing 2.00 FIA GT Championship 3.00 Spanish Cup Football 5.00 WWE Heat 6.00 International Cricket 8.00 Boots ‘n’ All 9.00 WWE Late Night Raw 11.00 Extreme Championship Wrestling 12.00am International Cricket 2.00 On The Edge 2.30 Race World

Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

More4

Living

3.00pm Las Vegas 4.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 6.00 Stargate Atlantis 7.00 The Simpsons (x4) 9.00 Bones 10.00 Cold Case 11.00 Badger Or Bust 12.00am Law And Order 1.00 Stargate Atlantis 1.50 Las Vegas 2.40 Mile High 3.30 Hot Summer Downunder 4.20 Uncut! Reps In Ibiza 5.10 Star Trek: Voyager

7.00pm The Panic Room 8.00 Eurovision Song Contest Semi-Final 2007. See highlights. 10.40 EastEnders 11.10 Two Pints Of Lager & A Packet Of Crisps (x2) 12.10am Football Gaffes Galore 1.05 Booze Bird: Mischief 2.05 Two Pints Of Lager & A Packet Of Crisps (x2) 3.00 The Panic Room

7.00pm The Avengers 7.50 Diary Of A Nobody: Shorts 8.00 The World 8.30 Once A Soldier 9.00 The Edwardians In Colour: The Wonderful World Of Albert Kahn 10.00 The Diary Of A Nobody 10.30 Never Mind The Full Stops 11.00 How The Edwardians Spoke 12.00am Once A Soldier 12.30 The Edwardians In Colour

2.35pm The Ricki Lake Show 3.20 The Jeremy Kyle Show 4.25 Sally Jessy Raphael 5.15 Airline USA 5.45 Judge Judy 7.00 Smallville 8.00 Staff From Hell 9.00 Katie And Peter: The Next Chapter 10.00 Deadline 11.00 Supernatural 12.00am Deadline 1.00 ITV Play: Make Your Play 4.00 Teleshopping

2.30pm Tales Of The Unexpected 3.00 Pie In The Sky 4.10 Cagney And Lacey 5.10 Quantum Leap 6.10 Rising Damp 6.40 Movies Now 6.50 Lovejoy 8.00 The Two Ronnies 9.00 Hack 10.00 The Commander 11.35 Lovejoy 12.45am Heartbeat 1.40 Brideshead Revisited 2.35 The Jewel In The Crown 3.30 Teleshopping

6.00pm Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 The War At Home 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 ER 10.00 Sex In Court 10.30 FILM: The Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell Of Fear (1991) 12.05am Scrubs (x2) 1.05 Ed 1.55 Sex In Court 2.25 Porn: A Family Business (x2) 3.20 The War At Home 3.40 The OC 4.25 Switched (x4)

5.35pm A Place In The Sun 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 More4 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 Grand Designs 10.00 Grand Designs: Trade Secrets 10.35 Without A Trace 11.35 NYPD Blue 12.35am The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 12.55 Countdown

7.00pm The X Files 8.00 Kath And Kim 8.30 Campus Ladies 9.00 CSI: Miami 10.00 Boston Legal 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am The X Files 1.00 Boston Legal 2.00 The Division 3.00 Body Of Evidence (x2) 3.50 The Hairdresser (x2) 4.40 The Jerry Springer Show (x2) 5.30 Home Shopping

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

7.00pm FILM: Carry On Don’t Lose Your Head (1966) 8.50 Alistair McGowan’s Big Impression 9.00 Jim’ll Fix It Strikes Again 9.30 TV Now And Then 10.10 Only Fools And Horses 11.15 Men Behaving Badly (x2) 12.35am Early Doors 1.15 Room 101 1.50 Have I Got 2002 For You 2.20 The Bill 3.10 Casualty

7.00pm Becker (x2) 8.00 That 70s Show (x2) 9.00 Scrubs (x2) 10.00 Sex And The City (x2) 11.15 South Park 11.45 The World Stands Up 12.15am Live At The Fringe 1.15 Sex And The City (x2) 2.30 The World Stands Up 3.00 South Park 3.30 Linc’s 4.00 Scrubs (x2) 5.00 Sir Leslie Quint: A Life In Film (x2)

7.00pm Mythbusters 8.00 How Do They Do It? 8.30 How It’s Made 9.00 My Shocking Story 10.00 Deadliest Catch 11.00 Perfect Disaster: Mega Flood 12.00am The FBI Files 1.00 True Crime Scene 2.00 Forensic Detectives 3.00 Deadliest Catch 3.50 My Shocking Story 4.40 Mega Builders

5.00pm Dark Angel 6.00 The Lost World 7.00 Roswell 8.00 Dark Angel 9.00 Stephen King’s Nightmares And Dreamscapes 10.00 Stephen King’s The Stand 11.00 Heroes 12.00am Medium 1.05 Erotic Misadventures Of The Invisible Man 3.00 ReGenesis 4.00 Profiler 5.00 The Lost World

3.55pm Classics Close-Up 4.25 Around The World In 80 Days (1956) 7.20 Buchanan Rides Alone (1958) 9.00 Private Life Of Sherlock Holmes (1970) 11.15 Days Of Wine And Roses (1963) 1.15am The Comedy Of Terrors (1964) 3.00 Drama Close-Up 3.30 Around The World In 80 Days (1956)

2.00pm Transamerica (2005) 4.00 The Eighth Day (1996) 6.00 The Dream Is Alive 6.50 Lai See (2007) 7.10 Mad Hot Ballroom (2005) 9.00 Transamerica (2005) 10.45 The Portrait Of A Lady (1996) 1.10am The Libertine (2004) 3.10 The Dream Is Alive (1985)

1.00pm Phffft! (1954) 2.40 The Gift Horse (1952) 4.35 The Count Of Monte Cristo (1975) 6.35 Chariots Of Fire (1981) 9.00 The Day After Tomorrow (2004) Time to scare yourself silly with day of judgement weather, with pretty Jake Gyllenhaal waiting to be rescued by Dad. 11.25 Twisted (2004) 1.15am Roma (1972)

12.40pm Alfred The Great (1969) 3.00 In The Good Old Summertime (1949) 4.55 Skyjacked (1972) 6.45 2010 (1984) 9.00 Being There (1979) 11.20 The Sunshine Boys (1975) 1.20am The Strawberry Statement (1970) 3.10 Teleshopping 3.30 Northern Pursuit (1943) 5.00 Kill Or Cure (1962)

Classics

Indie

058_LS320_TVfri.qxd

5/4/07

10:58 AM

Page 1

friday 11 The Blair Rich Project BBC2, 7pm Just how much could Tony earn when he finally stands down? In this cheeky Money Programme, special reporter Anna Adams investigates the earning powers of a post-PM Blair including the memoirs, TV appearances and the US lecture tours (á la Thatcher) – and that’s not counting the generous pension...

Balderdash And Piffle BBC2, 10pm Easy-on-the-eye posh totty par excellence Victoria Coren returns with this surprisingly entertaining look at the stories lurking behind commonly used words. Tonight Jo Brand (left) returns to her mental health haunts to reveal how words like ‘moron’ and ‘cretin’ were originally actual medical diagnoses.

Music Hall Meltdown BBC4, 10.30pm Phill Jupitus and Marcus Brigstocke host a comedy, variety and music show that recreates the sights and sounds of the original Edwardian music hall in a modern context. Getting in on the act are Harry Enfield, Madness and Jo Caulfield as well as incongruous indie act Mr Hudson And The Library.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Animal Park 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.45 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News; Weather 1.30 Regional News And Weather 1.40 Neighbours 2.05 Doctors 2.35 Murder, She Wrote 3.20 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3.25 Pitt And Kantrop 3.50 The Likeaballs 4.00 Prank Patrol 4.30 Raven 5.00 Totally Doctor Who 5.25 Newsround 5.35 Neighbours

6.00am Cbeebies 7.00 CBBC 10.30 The Maths Channel (x2) 10.50 Watch 11.05 Tales Of Europe 11.20 Focus 11.40 Primary History: Saxons And Vikings 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.30 The Flying Gardener 1.45 Living In The Sun 2.45 Escape To The Country 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Ready Steady Cook 5.15 The Weakest Link

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 2.00 Midsomer Murders 3.00 For The Rest Of Your Life 4.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot

6.10am The Hoobs (x2) 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Just Shoot Me (x2) 9.00 Frasier 9.30 Take Away My Takeaway 10.00 Don’t Make Me Angry 10.30 Fame Asylum 11.30 The Deadly Knowledge Show 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 Life Begins Again 1.30 Channel 4 Racing From Chester 3.30 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The New Paul O’Grady Show

6.00am Boots ‘n’ All 7.00 Trans World Sport 8.00 Ford Football Special 9.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 10.00 Boots ‘n’ All 11.00 LIVE European Tour Golf 1.00pm FIFA Futbol Mundial 1.30 Ford Football Special 3.00 Boots ‘n’ All 4.00 LIVE European Tour Golf 6.00 Soccer AM’s All Sports Show 7.00 Premier League Preview 7.30 LIVE Football League 10.00 LIVE Friday Fight Night 12.00am Football League 1.30 Premier League Preview 2.00 Friday Fight Night 4.00 Soccer AM’s All Sports Show 5.00 Premier League Preview 5.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial

6.00 BBC News And Weather The latest news and weather. 6.30 South East Today; Weather Regional news magazine. 7.00 A Question Of Sport Guests are French rugby captain Raphael Ibanez, England cricketer Phil Tufnell, athletics great Colin Jackson and former Scotland striker Joe Jordan. 7.30 Inside Out Surprising real-life stories. 8.00 EastEnders Max bares his soul to Tanya. 8.30 My Family An old drinking mate from Ben’s youth has changed much more than he had expected. 9.00 Have I Got News For You Comedy quiz show. 9.30 Ruddy Hell! It’s Harry And Paul New characters the Divorcing Couple join established favourites the Posh Scaffolders, the Computer Billionaires and the Ritchies. 10.00 BBC News; Regional News; Weather 10.35 Friday Night With Jonathan Ross Guests include Alan Sugar and singer Rufus Wainwright, while music comes from the Kaiser Chiefs. 11.35 FILM: Air America (1990) Lighthearted action tale about a pair of maverick US pilots who smuggle anything and everything for a covert CIA operation during the Vietnam War. 1.20am FILM: Theatre Of Blood (1973)

6.00 Eggheads Quiz. 6.30 Great British Menu Fourteen of the nation’s top chefs compete to convince the French that we can match them in gastronomic prowess. 7.00 The Blair Rich Project See highlights. 7.30 Wainwright’s Walks Julia faces the ultimate Wainwright challenge – Scafell Pike, England’s highest peak. 8.00 Gardeners’ World This programme comes from the 22nd annual Malvern Spring Gardening Show held at the Three Counties Showground in Worcestershire. 9.00 Timewatch Documentary exploring the history of gladiators. 9.50 A Portrait Of The Dales Documentary short about the wildlife, landscapes and ever changing moods of the Yorkshire Dales. 10.00 Balderdash And Piffle See highlights. 10.30 Newsnight Kirsty Wark introduces comprehensive coverage of today’s important national and international news stories. 11.00 Newsnight Review 11.35 Later...with Jools Holland Travis and Grinderman perform with Beverley Knight. 12.35am FILM: Out Cold (2001) Laddish US comedy set among the snowboard slacker set. 2.00 Star Trek 3.40 Malcolm In The Middle

6.00 Meridian Tonight Local news magazine. Including Meridian weather. 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather The latest national and international news. 7.00 Emmerdale David and Del’s scam is exposed – but who wins the battle? 7.30 Coronation Street Deirdre is pushed to the limit when confronted by Ken and Denise while Paul presents Steve with a shady deal during golf. 8.00 Home Sale DIY: Tonight Estate agents are set to be regulated under new laws this summer, but is it too late to save them? 8.30 Agatha Christie’s Marple A murder is announced in the personal columns of the Chipping Cleghorn Gazette – is it just a game? 10.30 ITV News; Weather 11.00 It Shouldn’t Happen To... A Showbiz Reporter Rory McGrath narrates this guide to tackling the highs and lows of press conferences, junkets, and live on-the-spot reports with the most unpredictable of species... the celebrity. 12.00am ITV Play: Make Your Play Play from home using your skill and judgement for a chance to win nightly cash prizes of up to £50,000. 4.10 60 Minute Makeover 5.00 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Sarah, Amy and Kathy keep a vigil at Mike’s bedside. 7.00 Channel 4 News Including sport and weather. 7.35 Unreported World Documentary which visits one of China’s most rapidly expanding cities and finds an economic boom built on the back of mistreated migrant labourers and farmers who have been evicted from their lands. 8.00 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away Bristol couple Bob and Jenny Lait are planning their retirement. 9.00 Ugly Betty Marc convinces Betty to pretend to be his girlfriend. 10.00 Derren Brown: Trick Or Treat A participant gets the chance to experience life as a`street madman’ and Martin Freeman is shown the power of new age crystals. 10.30 Peep Show 11.05 Peter Kay’s Phoenix Nights 11.40 Transmission With T-Mobile Tonight’s show features Dizzee Rascal and Happy Mondays. 12.40am 4 Music: The JD Set Presents: CSS 12.55 4 Music: 4Play: Tom McRae 1.10 4 Music: Ibiza Rocks 1.40 Goalissimo! 2.30 PartyPoker.com 3.30 Adrenalin Rush 4.00 Trans World Sport 4.55 Countdown

6.00am The Save-Ums! 6.10 Fifi And The Flowertots 6.25 Franny’s Feet 6.35 Bird Bath 6.45 Hi-5 7.15 Roary The Racing Car 7.30 Little Princess 7.45 Noddy 8.00 Say It With Noddy 8.05 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.40 Old Bear Stories 8.50 Mio Mao 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 Five News 12.00pm Home And Away 12.30 Colin And Justin On The Estate 1.35 FILM: The Dance Goes On (1991) 3.35 Five News Update 3.40 FILM: Love’s Abiding Joy (2006) 5.30 Five News 6.00 Home And Away Colleen ropes everyone to help with preparations for the Hospital Ball. Kelli’s games put Amanda in danger. Rachel and Kim rediscover the fun in their relationship. 6.30 Two And A Half Men Knockabout US comedy with Charlie Sheen. Charlie sleeps with a gorgeous young woman without realising she’s married to an elderly man. 7.00 Five News National and international news. 7.30 Sky Monsters Documentary that follows scientists’ attempts to construct a mechanical replica of the awesome flying pterosaur, a winged dinosaur that soared in the skies between 65 million and 200 million years ago. 9.00 NCIS A student at Quantico holds his classmates hostage after strapping a bomb to his body. 10.00 Law And Order: Criminal Intent When a couple who were in a witness relocation scheme are found dead in their home, the only survivor is their 20-year-old daughter. 11.00 Prison Break Michael, Sara and Lincoln ask an old friend for help, T-Bag and C-Note both run out of options, and Sucre’s quest is finally over. 12.00am Quiz Call 5.35 Wildlife SOS

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 WWE: Raw 8.30 LIVE Rugby Union: Super 14 10.30 Trans World Sport 11.30 ATP Tennis 12.00pm Live Tennis: ATP Masters Series 6.00 On The Edge 6.30 Sailing: America’s Cup 7.30 LIVE Tennis: ATP Masters Series 9.30 Moto + 10.00 Soccer AM’s All Sports Show 11.00 Premier League Preview 11.30 Moto + 12.00am Rugby Union 2.00 Soccer AM’s All Sports Show 3.00 Football League 4.30 LIVE International Cricket

Sky Sports 3 10.30am The Poker Show 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Rugby Union: Super 14 2.00 The Poker Show 2.30 NBA Action 3.00 Netball: Super League 5.00 WWE Raw 7.00 Rugby Union: Super 14 9.00 Sailing: America’s Cup 10.00 WWE Late Night Smackdown 12.00am WWE Late Night Bottom Line 1.00 Sailing: America’s Cup 2.00 Squash 4.00 Rugby Union: Super 14

Matt Chittock

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

More4

Living

6.00pm Stargate Atlantis 7.00 The Simpsons (x3) 8.30 Crash Test Dummies 9.00 FILM: Philadelphia (1993) 11.25 Law And Order 12.25am Stargate Atlantis 1.25 Star Trek: Voyager 2.15 Las Vegas 3.05 DNA Trickster 3.55 So You Think You’re Safe? 4.55 Footballers’ Pads 5.10 Malo Korrigan

7.00pm Castaway 8.00 Freaky Eaters: Addicted To Junk Food 9.00 Doctor Who 9.45 Doctor Who Confidential 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Two Pints Of Lager & A Packet Of Crisps (x2) 11.30 Ideal 12.00am Family Guy (x2) 12.40 Two Pints Of Lager (x2) 1.40 Rob Brydon’s Annually Retentive

7.00pm Pocketful Of Posies 7.50 Diary Of A Nobody: Shorts 8.00 The World 8.30 Young Guns Go For It 9.00 If It Ain’t Stiff 10.30 Music Hall Meltdown. See highlights. 12.00am The Avengers 12.50 Marcus Brigstocke’s Trophy People 1.20 If It Ain’t Stiff 2.50 Music Hall Meltdown 4.20 Close

2.35pm The Ricki Lake Show 3.20 The Jeremy Kyle Show 4.25 Sally Jessy Raphael 5.15 Airline USA 5.45 Judge Judy 7.00 Smallville 8.00 Airline 8.30 American Idol (x2) 10.30 Katie And Peter: The Next Chapter 11.30 Coronation Street 12.00am FILM: Species III (2004) 2.00 ITV Play: Make Your Play

4.00pm Cagney And Lacey 5.00 Quantum Leap 6.00 Rising Damp 6.35 Film File 6.50 Lovejoy 8.00 Pie In The Sky 9.00 FILM: Jagged Edge (1985) 11.15 Tales Of The Unexpected (x2) 12.20am Lovejoy 1.30 The Jewel In The Crown 2.30 Ironside 3.20 Tales Of The Unexpected 3.50 Film File 4.00 Teleshopping

7.00pm Hollyoaks 7.30 The War At Home 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Wife Swap 10.00 Wife Swap: The Aftermath 10.30 FILM: The Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Insult (1994) 12.05am Scrubs (x2) 1.05 Ed 1.55 Wife Swap 2.55 Wife Swap: The Aftermath 3.20 The War At Home 3.45 The OC 4.25 Switched (x4)

4.00pm FILM: Freedom Radio (1941) 5.45 3 Minute Wonder: Beside The Seaside (x4) 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 More4 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 Without A Trace 10.00 The Closer 11.00 Pyromania 12.00am NYPD Blue 1.00 Countdown 1.45 Close

6.00pm America’s Next Top Model 7.00 The X Files 8.00 Close To Home 9.00 Criminal Minds 10.00 CSI: Miami 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am The X Files 1.00 Close To Home 2.00 The Division 3.00 Body Of Evidence (x2) 3.50 The Hairdresser (x2) 4.40 The Jerry Springer Show (x2)

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

7.00pm FILM: Carry On Matron (1972) 9.00 Fawlty Towers 9.45 One Foot In The Grave 10.25 EuroMillions: Boom Bang A Bang 10.35 FILM: Virus (1999) 12.35am Fawlty Towers (x2) 1.55 Room 101 2.25 Have I Got 2002 For You 2.55 The Bill 3.45 Casualty 4.35 The House Of Eliott 5.25 Close Up 5.35 Neighbours

7.00pm Becker (x2) 8.00 That 70s Show (x2) 9.00 South Park (x2) 10.00 Happy Tree Friends 10.30 Jackass 11.00 Dirty Sanchez 11.30 The World Stands Up 12.00am Jack Dee Live At The Apollo 1.00 Badly Dubbed Porn 1.30 Sexy Cam 2.00 The World Stands Up 2.30 Ally McBeal 3.30 Linc’s

7.00pm Mythbusters 8.00 How Do They Do It? 8.30 How It’s Made 9.00 Perfect Disaster: Mega Flood 10.00 Decoding Disaster 11.00 True Crime Scene 12.00am The FBI Files 1.00 Trace Evidence: The Case Files Of Dr Henry Lee 2.00 Forensic Detectives 3.00 Decoding Disaster 3.50 Perfect Disaster: Mega Flood

11.00am Andromeda 12.00pm Farscape 1.00 Star Trek 2.00 The Lost World 3.00 FILM: Terror Peak (2003) 5.00 Dark Angel 6.00 The Lost World 7.00 Roswell 8.00 Dark Angel 9.00 Salem’s Lot (x2) 12.45am FILM: Donnie Darko (2002) 3.00 ReGenesis 4.00 Profiler 5.00 The Lost World

4.20pm The Blue Dahlia (1946) 6.20 Chaplin Today: The Gold Rush 6.55 How Green Was My Valley (1941) 9.00 The Towering Inferno (1974) 11.45 Curse Of The Werewolf (1961) 1.30am The Lost Weekend (1945) 3.20 Curse Of The Werewolf (1961) 5.05 The Gold Rush (1925)

2.00pm The Machinist (2004) 4.00 Wal-Mart: The High Cost Of Low Price (2005) 5.45 Lai See (2007) 6.05 China’s Hollywood (1998) 7.05 Rice Rhapsody (2004) 9.00 The Machinist (2004) 10.45 WalMart: The High Cost Of Low Price (2005) 12.40am Don’t Move (2004) 2.50 China’s Hollywood (1998)

1.00pm The Eve Of Saint Mark (1944) 2.55 Heaven Can Wait (1943) 5.05 Heaven Can Wait (1978) 7.00 Silver Streak (1976) 9.00 Sleeping With The Enemy (1991) 10.55 Being John Malkovich (1999) Mind-bending drama. 1.05am The Blair Witch Project (1999) Classic lowbudget shocker.

11.00am The Americanization Of Emily (1964) 1.15pm I Am A Fugitive From A Chain Gang (1932) 3.00 Gone With The Wind (1939) 6.55 The Year Of Living Dangerously (1982) 9.00 Unforgiven (1992) 11.25 El Mariachi (1993) 1.00am The Hunger (1983) 2.40 Teleshopping 3.00 Task Force (1949)

Classics

Indie

000_LS320_TVsat

4/5/07

9:39 AM

Page 1

saturday 12 Eurovision Song Contest BBC1, 8pm After the horrific voting scandal that tainted Britain’s 2007 Eurovision entry can Sir Terry of Wogan return some decorum to this most distinguished of contests? Find out as the 52nd Eurovision song contest gets underway bearing the toxic fruits of the EU’s diseased music industry. God help us all.

Daphne BBC2, 9pm Proving that best-selling authors were also big fans of rumpypumpy, this drama highlights the inner sexual struggles that informed the themes of Daphne du Maurier’s most compelling stories. Not exactly a fresh insight, but an interesting look at the years between Rebecca and her famous short story, The Birds.

How to be Edwardian BBC4, 9.30pm Actor Nicholas Craig, with moustache wax in one hand and a copy of The Chap in the other, takes us on a journey through the rigours of Edwardian acting. Using copious examples from the Beeb’s archive he answers burning questions including ‘How should you kiss a lady’s hand’ and ‘Where did I put my house boy?’

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 10.00 Saturday Kitchen 11.30 Great British Menu 12.00pm BBC News; Weather 12.10 Football Focus 1.00 Racing From Ascot and Haydock Park 2.30 Rugby League: Challenge Cup Fifth Round 4.35 BBC News; Regional News; Weather 4.55 My Family 5.25 Just For Laughs 5.55 Weakest Link

6.00am Teletubbies 6.30 Balamory 6.50 Step Inside 7.00 Batfink 7.10 Arthur 7.35 Watch My Chops 8.00 Mona The Vampire 8.30 The Story Of Tracy Beaker 9.00 Hider In The House 10.00 What’s New Scooby-Doo? 10.20 The Cramp Twins 10.30 Totally Doctor Who 11.00 The Story Of Tracy Beaker 11.30 The Fairly Odd Parents 11.45 Sportsround 12.00pm See Hear 12.30 The Sky At Night 1.00 Coast: Shipwrecks 1.10 Animal Park 1.40 FILM: Philadelphia Story (1940) 3.30 FILM: Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner (1967) 5.15 FILM: Rebecca (1940) 7.20 The Culture Show A topical series featuring the best arts and culture stories of the week. 8.10 Rick Stein In Du Maurier Country Rick Stein pays a personal tribute to the novelist Daphne du Maurier, setting out on a journey to rediscover the locations that she brought to life in novels such as Frenchman’s Creek, Jamaica Inn and Rebecca. 9.00 Daphne Drama charting the story of Daphne du Maurier’s unrequited passion. See highlights. 10.30 Have I Got A Bit More News For You Paul Merton and Ian Hislop continue to entertain in the extended version of the classic news quiz. Kirsty Young is the guest host and Bob Marshall-Andrews and Dr Phil Hammond are the panellists. 11.15 TOTP2 Goes Eurovision! Steve Wright presents a special celebration of the very best (and the very worst) of Eurovision in advance of the 2007 contest. 12.15am FILM: Blow Dry (2001) Plucky British comedy following the British hairdressing championships. Stars Bill Nighy, Alan Rickman and Natasha Richardson.. 1.40 The Culture Show

6.00am GMTV 9.25 Horrid Henry 9.35 Grizzly Tales For Gruesome Kids 9.50 Jungle Run 11.20 American Idol (x2) 12.20pm ITV News; Weather 12.25 Meridian News And Weather 12.30 F1: Spanish Grand Prix Qualifying 2.20 Bennett’s British Superbike Championship 3.20 FILM: Agatha Christie’s Murder In Three Acts (1986) 5.10 Meridian News And Weather 5.25 ITV News; Sports Results; Weather 5.40 You’ve Been Framed!

6.05am Making It 6.10 The Hoobs (x2) 7.00 Goalissimo! 8.00 The Morning Line 8.55 Musicool: The Live Show 10.35 Popworld 11.20 Friends (x2) 12.25pm Shipwrecked 2007: The Hut Cam Diaries 12.55 Shipwrecked 2007: Battle Of The Islands 2.00 Channel 4 Racing From Lingfield Park And Nottingham 4.00 Red Bull Air Race 4.50 Deal Or No Deal Classic 5.35 Monarchy By David Starkey

6.00am Sunrise 6.55 The Milkshake! Show 7.25 Mist: Sheepdog Tales 7.35 Little Princess 7.45 Noddy 8.00 Say It With Noddy 8.05 Harry And His Bucket Full Of Dinosaurs (x2) 8.35 The Book Of Pooh 9.00 Ebb And Flo 9.05 Peppa Pig 9.15 Fifi And The Flowertots 9.30 Jane And The Dragon 10.00 Fifth Gear 11.00 Man-Eating Python: Austin Stevens Adventures 12.05pm FILM: Columbo: Murder By The Book (1971) 1.40 FILM: Asteroid (1997) 4.25 FILM: The Monster Squad (1987)

6.00am Premier League Preview 6.30 Football League 8.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 8.30 Premier League Preview 9.00 Soccer AM 12.00pm LIVE Football League 2.00 LIVE Football: FA Trophy Final 4.30 LIVE Football League 7.30 Football: FA Trophy Final 8.30 LIVE Spanish Football 11.00 Football League 1.00am UEFA Champions League Weekly 1.30 Spanish Football 3.00 Football: FA Trophy Final 4.00 Football League

6.40 Vernon Kay’s Gameshow Marathon It’s the quarter final, and the five qualifying celebrities return with their real-life husbands, wives and partners to play a new version of the classic Mr & Mrs game show. 7.45 Grease Is The Word: Live The search for a brand new Danny and Sandy continues as our remaining six couples perform for viewers’ votes. 9.25 Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? Chris Tarrant presents the series in which ten contestants compete for a place in the hot seat and the chance to walk away with the top prize of one million pounds. 10.25 Parkinson Michael Parkinson’s guests today are veteran comic actor Gene Wilder, Private Eye editor and Have I Got News For You team captain Ian Hislop, and Star Trek and X-Men star Patrick Stewart. With live music from Joe Cocker. 11.25 ITV News; Weather The latest national and international news, plus national weather. 11.40 Regional Weather 11.45 TV’s Naughtiest Blunders More risque outtakes and unbleeped bloopers, as famous TV faces share their hilarious televisual missteps and blunders. 12.00am ITV Play: Make Your Play The chance to win nightly cash prizes of up to 50,000 pounds. 3.50 Don’t Move, Improve 5.00 ITV Nightscreen

6.35 Channel 4 News Including sport and weather. 7.00 Three Kings At War Documentary revealing the royal feud between first cousins King George V, Tsar Nicholas II of Russia and Kaiser William II of Germany, played out against a backdrop of global war and revolution. 8.00 Antony Gormley: Making Space Intimate documentary following acclaimed sculptor Antony Gormley as he creates new work for a major exhibition at London’s Hayward Gallery. 9.00 FILM: The Transporter (2002) High-octane action thriller in which a former Special Forces operative, now working as a mercenary package deliverer, finds his life in great danger when he breaks the golden rule of his ask-no-questions job. 10.40 FILM: Arlington Road (1999) Paranoid conspiracy thriller about a college professor who is prompted to research extreme right-wing groups after his wife is killed in a bungled FBI anti-terrorist operation. 12.50am Ibiza Rocks With Sony Ericsson The series from the Ibiza Rocks festival continues with The Futureheads performing their biggest hits and more - all sweating a bit in the sun. 1.25 FILM: Next Friday (1999) 3.10 FILM: The Sunchaser (1996) 5.15 Countdown

6.00 FILM: The Distinguished Gentleman (1992) Political satire about a con man who gets himself elected to Congress and thrives in the world of political wheeler-dealing until he meets a desperately ill little girl who has been living in the shadow of a dangerous power plant, and is prompted to reconsider his priorities. 7.50 Five News And Sport The latest national and international headlines. 8.05 NCIS The team link a petty officer’s murder to a prescription drug ring. 9.00 CSI:NY Stella and Danny follow the trail of a professional shoplifter who they believe has murdered a security guard. 10.00 Law And Order Brisco and Green think they have found the murderer of a car salesman who was bludgeoned to death, but there is more to the killing than meets the eye. 11.00 Grey’s Anatomy The interns deal with a family involved in a car accident. Derek lets his emotions get the best of him. Burke and Izzie make a suggestion to Denny. 12.00am Grey’s Anatomy Finn gives a health update on Doc while Meredith is assigned to work with Callie for the day. 1.00 Quiz Call 5.35 Wildlife SOS

6.00am International Cricket 12.30pm Rally World 1.00 Friday Fight Night 2.00 LIVE Rugby Union 5.00 Rally World 5.30 Moto + 6.00 LIVE Speedway 9.00 Rugby Union 10.30 Rugby Union: Super 14 12.30am Rugby Union 2.00 International Cricket 4.00 Rugby Union 5.30 Heritage Grand Touring Car Challenge: HGTCC - Donington

6.45 Any Dream Will Do Graham Norton presents Andrew Lloyd Webber’s search for a new leading man for Joseph and the Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat. 7.50 The National Lottery Draws Michael Ball presents the draws live from Lottery HQ, including the Thunderball, Dream Number and Lotto draws, and looks ahead to the Eurovision Song Contest. 8.00 Eurovision Song Contest Final 2007 See highlights. 11.15 BBC News; Weather BBC News; Weather. 11.35 FILM: Dragonfly (2002) Starring Kevin Costner, Alison Lohman, Joe Morton, Kathryn Erbe, Linda Hunt and Leslie Hope. Sci-fi drama. A doctor struggles with grief after his wife is killed while working with the Red Cross in Colombia, but when he sees a pattern in the sketches of children in his hospital, he becomes convinced that she is trying to contact him. 1.15am Friday Night With Jonathan Ross A mix of music and celebrity chat with Jonathan Ross. Guests include Alan Sugar and singer Rufus Wainwright, while music comes from the Kaiser Chiefs. 2.20 Joins BBC News 24

Sky Sports 2

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Sailing: America’s Cup 7.30 Friday Fight Night 8.30 LIVE Rugby Union: Super 14 10.30 Moto + 11.00 LIVE European Tour Golf 3.00pm On The Edge 3.30 Moto + 4.00 WWE Smackdown 6.00 NBA Basketball 8.00 International Cricket 10.00 Extreme Championship Wrestling 11.00 WWE Smackdown 1.00am WWE The Bottom Line 2.00 Speedway: Polish Grand Prix 5.00 British Motocross Championship

Matt Chittock

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

More4

Living

7.00pm Malcolm In The Middle (x2) 8.00 Cold Case 9.00 Bones 10.00 24 11.00 Road Wars 12.00am Brainiac: Science Abuse 1.00 Best Of Angel 1.50 Naked In Blackpool 2.40 Born To Kill 3.30 Star Trek: The Next Generation (x2) 5.10 World’s Craziest Videos 5.35 America’s Dumbest Criminals

7.00pm Football Gaffes Galore 8.00 Top Gear 9.00 FILM: Tombstone (1993) 11.00 Two Pints Of Lager & A Packet Of Crisps (x2) 12.00am Ideal 12.30 Rob Brydon’s Annually Retentive 1.00 Football Gaffes Galore 1.55 Two Pints Of Lager (x2) 2.55 Ideal 3.25 Rob Brydon’s Annually Retentive

7.00pm Europe: A Natural History 7.50 Meetings With Remarkable Trees 8.00 How The Edwardians Spoke 9.00 Ripping Yarns 9.30 How To Be Edwardian. See highlights. 10.30 FILM: The Shooting Party (1984) 12.00am How To Be Edwardian 1.00 Mark Lawson Talks To Nicholas Craig 2.00 Europe

3.55pm Holidays Undercover 4.55 Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? 5.55 FILM: Space Jam (1996) 7.30 Smallville 8.30 Nanny 911 9.25 Greased Lightnin’: Results 10.25 FILM: Bill And Ted’s Excellent Adventure (1989) 12.10am Grease Is The Word 1.50 ITV Play: Make Your Play

11.30am Jeeves And Wooster (x2) 1.40pm Pie In The Sky 2.50 The Casebook Of Sherlock Holmes 3.50 FILM: The Taming Of The Shrew (1967) 6.15 Kavanagh QC 7.50 Inspector Morse 9.55 Taggart 12.50am The Vice 2.20 The Bill: Blood Money 3.20 The Bill: To Honour And Obey 4.20 Film File

6.00pm The Simple Life: Interns (x2) 6.55 Wife Swap 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 50 Greatest Magic Tricks 11.20 FILM: The Wedding Planner (2001) 1.20am Transmission With TMobile 2.25 Pussycat Dolls Present: The Search For The Next Pussycat Doll 3.15 Wife Swap 4.15 The Simple Life: Interns (x2)

10.00am Time Team (x3) With Tony Robinson. 1.00pm Grand Designs (x5) Property porn. 6.25 Snowmail 6.30 FILM: The Cassandra Crossing (1977) Drama. 9.00 Jamestown: America’s Birthplace: A Time Team Special 10.00 Human Footprint 11.35 The Closer 12.35am Grand Designs

2.00pm Will And Grace 3.00 America’s Next Top Model (x4) 7.00 Canada’s Next Top Model 8.00 The X Files 9.00 Most Haunted 10.00 Hotel Babylon 11.05 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am Most Haunted 1.00 Outrageous Fortune 2.00 The Division 2.55 Body Of Evidence (x2)

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

6.30pm Some Mothers Do ‘Ave ‘Em 7.10 Porridge 7.50 Open All Hours 8.30 Jim’ll Fix It Strikes Again 9.00 Jonathan Creek 10.20 FILM: Lightning Jack (1994) 12.15am I’m Alan Partridge 12.55 Have I Got 2001 For You 1.55 Room 101 2.25 Icons 2.30 Dallas (x2) 4.10 Icons (x3) 4.25 My Family And Other Animals

7.00pm King Of Queens (x2) 8.00 Two And A Half Men 8.30 Rules Of Engagement 9.00 South Park (x4) 11.05 FILM: Soapdish (1991) 12.50am Badly Dubbed Porn 1.20 FILM: Soapdish (1991) 3.05 Sexy Cam 3.30 Linc’s 4.00 Becker 4.30 Frasier 5.00 Sir Leslie Quint: A Life In Film (x2) 5.10 Becker 5.35 Frasier

12.00pm Mythbusters (x3) 3.00 The FBI Files (x2) 5.00 Forensic Detectives (x2) 7.00 The FBI Files 8.00 Deadliest Catch (x3) 11.00 Minutes From Disaster 12.00am The FBI Files 1.00 Torso In The Thames 2.00 Forensic Detectives 3.00 Deadliest Catch (x2) 4.40 How Do They Do It? (x2) 5.30 How It’s Made

7.00am Robot Wars 8.00 Teleshopping 11.00 Dark Angel (x4) 3.00pm FILM: Ground Zero (2000) 4.50 FILM: Dark Storm () 6.40 FILM: Stargate (1994) 9.00 FILM: The Bride (1985) 11.20 Heroes 12.20am FILM: Emmanuelle 2000: Intimate Encounters (2000) 2.10 FILM: Circuitry Man (1990) 4.00 The Outer Limits

2.05pm The Guns Of Navarone (1961) 4.45 The Phantom Of The Opera (1943) 6.30 Classics Close Up 7.00 Blackbeard’s Ghost (1968) 9.00 The Guns Of Navarone (1961) 11.40 On The Waterfront (1954) 1.40am Walk, Don’t Run (1966) 3.45 The Phantom Of The Opera (1943)

4.00pm The Sea Inside (2004) 6.10 China: The Panda Adventure (2001) 7.15 Love On The Run (1979) 9.00 The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou (2004) 11.00 Ong-Bak (2004) 12.50am We Don’t Live Here Anymore (2004) 2.50 China: The Panda Adventure (2001)

1.00pm Affair In Trinidad (1952) 3.05 Smoky (1946) Old school Western. 4.55 The Silent Enemy (1958) Dull thriller starring Joe Pesci 7.10 An Ideal Husband (1999) 9.00 The Long Kiss Goodnight (1996) Clever action movie with a twist. 11.10 The Sin Eater (2003) 1.10am Man On Fire (1987)

12.35pm The Yearling (1946) 3.00 The Philadelphia Story (1940) 5.05 Scaramouche (1952) 7.10 The Maltese Falcon (1941) 9.00 Rio Bravo (1959) 11.35 Cool Hand Luke (1967) 1.50am Ride Him Cowboy (1932) 2.50 Teleshopping 3.10 36 Hours (1964) 5.00 The House Of The Seven Hawks (1959)

Classics

Indie

000_LS320_TVsun

4/5/07

9:46 AM

Page 1

sunday 13 Supergrass BBC2, 9pm In a lively mix of drama and testimony, the Beeb examines the ‘supergrass’ system and how it helped 70’s fuzz do criminals up like the proverbial kipper. The controversial informers’ network proved the key to cracking down on London gangs, but it also carried a terrible risk - with often violent repercussions.

Frost and Pegg’s Perfect Night In Channel 4, 9pm Slacker comedy heroes-donegood Simon Pegg and Nick Frost return to Channel 4 to pick their night of perfect telly, from Blakes 7, to vintage Doctor Who. Afterwards there’s another (long overdue) opportunity to see the series that started it all: seminal noughties sitcom Spaced.

Miss Marie Lloyd: The Queen of the Musical BBC4, 9.30pm Bag the cheap seats for a unique drama inspired by the lives and loves of London’s East End legend, Marie Lloyd. After early fame and a broken marriage Marie courted controversy with a music hall strike, while her champagne lifestyle saw her scandalising polite society.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.00 Sunday AM 10.00 Heaven And Earth with Gloria Hunniford 11.00 Countryfile 12.00pm The Politics Show 1.00 ’Allo ’Allo! 1.30 Keeping Up Appearances 2.00 Cash In The Attic 2.30 EastEnders 4.25 Lifeline 4.35 Final Score 5.15 Points Of View 5.30 Shaun The Sheep 5.40 Songs Of Praise

6.00am Teletubbies 6.30 Balamory 6.50 Step Inside 7.00 Batfink 7.10 Legend Of The Dragon 7.30 Smile 10.00 Something For The Weekend 11.30 Inside Sport 12.15pm Animal Park 1.00 Premiership Rugby Union 1.45 Rugby League: Challenge Cup 3.45 Paralympic World Cup 5.40 Big Cat Diary: Family Histories

6.00am GMTV 9.25 Art Attack 9.45 Mr Bean: The Animated Series 10.00 Feodor 10.10 Pocoyo 10.15 Jim Jam And Sunny (x2) 10.45 Pocoyo 10.50 Tricky Quickies 10.55 The Sunday Edition With Andrew Rawnsley And Andrea Catherwood 11.55 Meridian News And Weather 12.00pm F1: Spanish Grand Prix Live 3.10 FILM: The Alamo (1960)

6.00am The Treacle People 6.10 The Hoobs (x2) 7.00 Trans World Sport 7.55 Velux 5 Oceans Ultimate Solo Challenge 8.25 New Shoots: Films From Disabled Directors 8.55 Popworld 9.40 Hollyoaks Omnibus 12.10pm Shipwrecked 2007: The Hut Cam Diaries 12.40 Beyonce: T4 Special 1.15 Musicool 2.20 Pussycat Dolls Present: The Search For The Next Pussycat Doll 3.20 Friends 3.50 Ugly Betty 4.50 Deal Or No Deal 5.40 Scrapheap Challenge

6.00am The Save-Ums! 6.10 Fifi 6.25 Franny’s Feet 6.35 Bird Bath 6.45 Milkshake! 7.10 Mist: Sheepdog Tales 7.25 Little Princess 7.40 Noddy 8.00 Bucket Full Of Dinosaurs (x2) 8.30 Pooh 9.00 Ebb And Flo 9.05 Peppa Pig 9.15 Fifi 9.30 Jane And The Dragon 10.00 Property Developing Abroad 11.00 New Life In The Country 12.05pm Nice House, Shame About The Garden 12.35 News 12.40 FILM: Posse From Hell (1961) 2.20 FILM: Washington Square (1997) 4.25 News 4.45 FILM: The Seventh Voyage Of Sinbad (1958) 6.20 Everybody Hates Chris Chris loses his job after the store is robbed on his watch. Julius brings home a Betamax VCR. 6.45 Everybody Hates Chris Mr Edwards, the new school principal, has Chris and Caruso become buddies on a school field trip. Rochelle’s favourite earrings go missing, and Tanya is the prime suspect. Julius looks for a Wayne Gretzky jersey for Drew. 7.10 Joey After receiving a large pay cheque from his new movie, Joey goes on a shopping spree and tries to buy the house of his dreams. When the owner says she prefers a family man with children, Joey and Gina attempt to present the perfect family. 7.35 Joey In order to woo a beautiful woman who is taking a class in English as a second language, Joey also enrols in her class. Gina needs to help Bobbie find a new client. 8.00 Grey’s Anatomy Izzie and George attend to Denny as the race is on to find him a heart. 9.00 Grey’s Anatomy Richard interrogates Addison. 10.00 FILM: Romeo Must Die (2000) Martial arts action thriller featuring DMX. 12.15am Great Edinburgh Run |Highlights from the Scottish run. 1.05 Major League Baseball 4.10 Boxing USA 4.40 Major League Soccer

6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 7.00 Football: FA Trophy Final 8.00 Football League 10.00 Jimmy Hill’s Sunday Supplement 11.00 Goals On Sunday 12.00pm LIVE Football League 2.00 Ford Super Sunday 6.00 LIVE Football League 8.30 Football First: Game Of The Day 10.00 Football First: Match Choice (x5) 5.50am Close

6.15 Castaway Danny Wallace presents the first live show from the island, as the first results of a national phone vote are announced and the castaway with the least votes is kicked off the island. 6.50 Antiques Roadshow Michael Aspel and the Roadshow antiques experts visit Mount Stewart in Northern Ireland. 7.35 BBC News; Weather 7.50 Regional News And Weather 8.00 Victoria’s Empire Victoria Wood visits countries that used to be part of Queen Victoria’s British Empire. 9.00 Dalziel And Pascoe Detective drama series. Dalziel and Pascoe are forced to look beyond the everyday and explore the darkest corners of the occult in a case where no-one and nothing is what it seems. 10.00 BBC News; Weather 10.20 Match Of The Day Gary Lineker is joined by Alan Hansen and Alan Shearer to analyse the action and reaction on the final day of the Premiership season. 11.50 FILM: Where The Money Is (2000) Romantic comedy drama about an ageing but immensely charming bank robber who has a stroke in prison. 1.15am Sign Zone: Holby City 2.15 Antiques Roadshow 3.05 To Buy Or Not To Buy 3.50 Joins BBC News 24

6.10 Natural World Australia’s deadly saltwater crocodiles make a dramatic comeback. 7.00 Cooking In The Danger Zone Stefan Gates journeys to two very different places united by the fact that what the people are eating there could very well kill them. 8.00 The Best Of Top Gear The best bits of the motoring magazine that didn’t involve one of the presenters crashing. 9.00 Supergrass See highlights. 10.30 Graham Norton Uncut Tori Amos gets the Graham norton treatment. 11.15 Roman’s Empire When Roman has a brush with death, he hands over the running of his empire to Nikki. 11.45 Family Guy Cult cartoon. Stewie finds out that his life in the future is miserable. So he decides to go back in time and change events for the better. 12.10am FILM: The Three Stooges (2000) Biopic of the legendary American comedy trio. As a TV executive tries to convince the Stooges to reunite for some publicity, Moe Howard reminisces in 1959 about the previous 30 years, including the early vaudeville days with his brother Shemp and Larry Fine as stooges to comic Ted Healy. 1.35 FILM: Incense For The Damned (1970)

6.00 10 Years Of Monkey Business Celebrating the last 10 years of the series Monkey Business, which has followed the day-to-day lives of apes and monkeys at one of the largest primate rescue centres in the world. 6.25 Meridian News And Weather Latest regional news and weather. 6.40 ITV News; Weather The latest national and international news, plus national weather. 7.00 Emmerdale Family Album The arrival of the Tates in 1989 was heralded as Dallas with dung. 7.30 Coronation Street Michelle and Steve finally make a decision. Maria watches as Fiz and John get closer. 8.00 Heartbeat 9.00 Kingdom Gloria hasn’t shown up for work, Beatrice is plotting to win Alan back - by using Lyle, and there’s a squirrel in the attic. 10.00 ITV News; Weather 10.15 This Is David Gest David continues to enjoy his new-found fame in the UK. 11.00 The Classical Brit Awards 2007 Fern Britton presents the classical music event of the year from the Royal Albert Hall. 12.15am F1: Spanish Grand Prix Highlights 1.20 ITV Play: Glitterball 4.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 5.00 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.40 Shipwrecked 2007: Battle Of The Islands Trailing the Sharks by four, the Tiger boys are desperate to win new arrival Fliss, but are furious when the girls refuse to make an effort. 7.40 Channel 4 News Including sport and weather. 8.00 Wife Swap Labour Party councillor Julie Young, whose political interests often take priority over her children, trades places with image-conscious Tina Griffiths whose family rarely spend time together. 9.00 Frost And Pegg’s Perfect Night In Mini-series giving comedy’s favourite stars the chance to choose their ideal night of television. See highlights. 11.10 Spaced A courier friend of Tim’s offers to take everyone out for a night of hedonism and repetitive beats. 11.40 Spaced Daisy and Tim come face to face with an old enemy on a night on the town. 12.15am 4 Music: 4 Music Presents... Linkin Park George Lamb interviews Linkin Park, who perform exclusive songs from their new album Minutes to Midnight along with hit track Numb. 12.50 Ibiza Rocks With Sony Ericsson 1.20 Get Your Act Together 2.20 Saddam’s Tribe 4.20 Get The Picture Film short. 4.30 Wild Things

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Rugby Union 7.30 Speedway 10.30 LIVE Cricket: Friends Provident Trophy 6.30pm Sky Sports Classics 7.00 Sailing: America’s Cup 8.00 LIVE Spanish Football 10.00 Football League 12.00am Spanish Football 2.00 Football League 4.00 Close

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Wild Spirits 6.30 Spanish Football 8.00 WWE Afterburn 9.00 WWE Heat 10.00 LIVE European Tour Golf 2.00pm Heritage GT 2.30 Moto + 3.00 Ford Super Sunday 5.00 WWE Experience 6.00 Moto + 6.30 Golf Night 8.30 LIVE NBA Basketball 11.00 WWE Afterburn 12.00am WWE Heat 1.00 Cricket: Friends Provident Trophy 2.30 Wild Spirits 3.00 Close

Matt Chittock

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

More4

Living

12.00pm Robot Wars: The Sixth Wars 1.00 Stargate Atlantis (x2) 3.00 Relic Hunter 4.00 Project Runway 5.00 The Simpsons (x6) 8.00 Dream Team 9.00 24 10.00 Lost 11.00 Rescue Me 12.00am Badger Or Bust 1.00 Best Of Angel 1.50 Star Trek: The Next Generation (x2) 3.30 Relic Hunter 4.20 Born To Kill

7.00pm TV Gaffes Galore 7.15 FILM: Sweet Home Alabama (2002) 9.00 Gavin And Stacey (x2) 10.00 My Big Breasts And Me 11.00 Two Pints Of Lager & A Packet Of Crisps (x2) 12.00am Gavin And Stacey (x2) 1.00 My Big Breasts And Me 1.55 The Panic Room 2.55 Two Pints Of Lager (x2) 3.55 Close

7.00pm Never Mind The Full Stops 7.30 Thoroughly Modern: The Bicycle 8.00 Legends: Alma Cogan Fabulous 9.00 More Dawn French’s Girls Who Do: Comedy 9.30 Miss Marie Lloyd: The Queen Of The Musical. See highlights. 10.50 Music Hall Meltdown 12.20am Alma Cogan - Fabulous

1.45pm FILM: Bill And Ted’s Excellent Adventure (1989) 3.30 Coronation Street Omnibus 5.55 Vernon Kay’s Gameshow Marathon 7.00 American Idol (x2) 9.00 Supernatural 9.50 FILM: Johnny English (2002) 11.35 Coronation Street 12.05am Deadline (x2) 2.05 ITV Play: Glitterball 4.00 Teleshopping

2.20pm Kavanagh QC 3.55 Inspector Morse 6.00 Robin Of Sherwood 7.00 The Magnificent Seven 8.00 Ray Charles - Live At Edmonton 9.00 The Odyssey 11.00 The Big Easy 12.00am The Magnificent Seven 1.00 The Odyssey 2.35 Savage Planet 3.00 Film File 3.10 Emmerdale Omnibus

4.00pm Friends (x2) 5.00 One Tree Hill 6.00 What About Brian 6.55 Friends (x2) 8.00 Ugly Betty 9.00 Wife Swap: The Aftermath 9.30 ER 10.30 Desperate Housewives 11.30 Skins 12.30am One Tree Hill 1.25 Porn: A Family Business 2.00 Shipwrecked 2007: Battle Of The Islands 3.00 Skins 4.00 Popworld

9.00am Codex 10.00 Scrapheap Challenge (x5) 3.10 Time Team 4.10 FILM: Flying Tigers (1942) 6.00 Deal Or No Deal 6.55 The Worst Jobs In History 8.00 The West Wing 9.00 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares 10.00 Cutting Edge: Trapped By My Twin 11.05 Father Ted (x2) 12.10am Sex In The 80s

7.00pm Exposed: Angelina Jolie 8.00 Extreme Makeover 9.00 CSI: Miami 10.00 Criminal Minds 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am Most Haunted 1.00 Exposed: Angelina Jolie 2.00 Da Vinci’s Inquest 2.55 Body Of Evidence (x2) 3.50 The Hairdresser (x2) 4.40 The Jerry Springer Show (x2)

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

7.00pm Dalziel And Pascoe 9.00 The Vicar Of Dibley. Clerical comedy. 9.40 One Foot In The Grave 10.20 The Catherine Tate Show 11.00 Men Behaving Badly 11.40 Dalziel And Pascoe 1.30am The Catherine Tate Show 2.00 Have I Got 2001 For You. Aged satire. 2.30 Room 101 3.00 Charlie’s Angels (x2)

7.00pm Frasier (x2) US sitcom. 8.00 Becker (x2) 9.00 South Park (x2) 10.00 Lee Evans Live From The West End 11.40 Badly Dubbed Porn 12.10am Naked And Funny 12.40 Sexy Cam (x2) 1.30 Ally McBeal (x2) 3.30 Linc’s 4.00 South Park (x2) 5.00 Sir Leslie Quint: A Life In Film (x4) 5.20 Ally McBeal

12.00pm Time Team (x8) 8.00 Perfect Disaster: Mega Flood 9.00 Deadliest Catch 10.00 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls 11.00 Decoding Disaster 12.00am My Shocking Story 1.00 The Jury 2.00 Forensic Detectives 3.00 Deadliest Catch 3.50 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls 4.40 How Do They Do It? (x2)

6.30pm FILM: The Fifth Element (1997) 9.00 Medium 10.00 Heroes 11.00 Stephen King’s Nightmares And Dreamscapes 12.00am Stephen King’s The Stand 1.00 FILM: The Curse (1987) 2.35 Stephen King’s Nightmares And Dreamscapes 3.35 Psychic Detectives

2.15pm Support Your Local Sheriff! (1969) 3.50 Hondo (1953) 5.35 Miracle On 34th Street (1947) 7.15 The Top 10 Show 7.35 Road To Morocco (1942) 9.00 Hondo (1953) 10.30 Tales Of Terror (1962) 12.15am The Killing Of Sister George (1968) 2.35 Miracle On 34th Street (1947)

12.00pm The Chorus (2004) 1.50 Sideways (2004) 4.00 Breakfast On Pluto (2007) 6.10 Mission To Mir 7.10 The Chorus (2004) 9.00 Breakfast On Pluto (2007) with Cillian Murphy. 11.10 Sideways (2004) 1.20am Mulholland Falls (1996) Weird thriller. 3.10 Mission To Mir

1.00pm Tonight And Every Night (1944) 2.45 Music Behind The Scenes 3.45 The River’s Edge (1957) 5.25 Night Train To Munich (1940) 7.20 The Hound Of The Baskervilles (1959) Classic mystery thriller. 9.00 Sleepy Hollow (1999) 11.00 Southern Comfort (1981) 1.00am Bound (1997)

1.05pm Ivanhoe (1952) 3.00 Kelly’s Heroes (1970) 5.40 Murder Ahoy (1964) 7.25 The Law And Jake Wade (1958) 9.00 Bonnie And Clyde (1967) 11.00 The Long Kiss Goodnight (1996) 1.10am Pick A Star (1937) 2.25 Teleshopping 2.45 Objective, Burma! (1945) 5.00 The Safecracker (1958)

Classics

Indie

000_LS320_TVmon

4/5/07

9:33 AM

Page 1

monday 14 Driving Me Crazy ITV1, 9pm For the first in a new series in which select celebrities vent their anger about motoring issues, John Sergeant takes on the dreaded 4x4. Are they simply safe and practical vehicles (no, unless you live half way up a mountain) or uneccessary middle class status symbols (yes, yes and yes again)?

Teen Boob Jobs: Too Much Too Young ITV1, 10pm In a new series aimed at titillating the head-shaking majority, ITV investigates the world of underage breast enhancements. Amanda, for instance, has cajoled her divorcing parents into buying her a boob job. A nice pony would have been far more traditional.

Ian Hislop’s Scouting for Boys BBC 4, 9pm The Private Eye posho uncovers the truth behind Baden-Powell’s Scouting for Boys, the 1908 best seller that launched the scouting movement. Apparently, behind all the woggles, Baden-Powell actually addressed radical ideas about citizenship and social responsibility. Who’d a thunk it?

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Animal Park 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.45 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News; Weather 1.30 Regional News And Weather 1.40 Neighbours 2.05 Doctors 2.35 Murder, She Wrote 3.20 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3.25 Pitt And Kantrop 3.50 The Likeaballs 4.00 Prank Patrol 4.30 SMart 5.00 Beat The Boss 5.25 Newsround 5.35 Neighbours

6.35am Balamory 7.00 Arthur 7.15 ChuckleVision 7.30 Get 100 8.00 The Story Of Tracy Beaker 8.15 Krypto The Superdog 8.30 Jackanory Junior 8.45 Numberjacks 9.00 Boogie Beebies 9.15 Pingu 9.25 Me Too! 9.45 Something Special 10.00 Postman Pat 10.15 The Roly Mo Show 10.30 Primary Geography (x5) 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Watch 1.15 Something Special 1.30 Animal Park 2.00 Living In The Sun 3.00 Escape To The Country 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Ready Steady Cook 5.15 The Weakest Link 6.00 Eggheads 6.30 Great British Menu Fourteen of the nation’s top chefs compete to convince the French that we can match them in gastronomic prowess. 7.00 York Minster It’s Easter at one of the busiest cathedrals in Europe and that means a lot more than chocolate eggs. 7.30 Johnny Kingdom: A Year On Exmoor It’s early January, normally a quiet time of year for filming wildlife. But suddenly some wild boars are let loose and Johnny and the media descend on Exmoor to try and find them. 8.00 Edwardian Supersize Me Restaurant critic Giles Coren and writer and performer Sue Perkins spend the week on the diet of a wealthy Edwardian couple. 9.00 Power To The People Presenter Tim Samuels joins an entire Cornish village, which is on the brink of extinction, as they pack up sheep, cows and morris dancers to travel en masse to London to get their voice heard. 10.00 Ruddy Hell! It’s Harry And Paul 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Balderdash And Piffle 11.50 FILM: Bedrooms And Hallways (1998) Romantic ensemble piece. 1.20am BBC News 24 2.00 Hindi Urdu Bol Chaal 1-10

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 2.00 Midsomer Murders 3.00 For The Rest Of Your Life 4.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot

6.00am The Treacle People 6.10 The Hoobs (x2) 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Just Shoot Me (x2) 9.00 Frasier 9.30 Take Away My Takeaway 10.00 Teen Tycoons 10.30 Tricky Business Two 11.00 The Market 11.30 The Deadly Knowledge Show 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 A Place Down Under 1.30 FILM: The Big Circus (1959) 3.30 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The New Paul O’Grady Show

6.00am The Save-Ums! 6.10 Fifi 6.25 Franny’s Feet 6.35 Bird Bath 6.45 Hi-5 7.20 Roary The Racing Car 7.30 Little Princess 7.45 Make Way For Noddy 8.00 Say It With Noddy 8.05 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.40 Old Bear Stories 8.50 Mio Mao 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 Five News 12.00pm Home And Away 12.30 House 1.30 FILM: Her Hidden Truth (1996) 3.20 Five News Update 3.25 FILM: The Week Of Fear (1975) 5.30 Five News 6.00 Home And Away Kit’s past catches up with her when an old flame comes back to the Bay. Cassie’s decision to return to the Bay has shocking consequences. 6.30 Joey Joey makes a huge mistake when he turns down a part in a hit show about male nurses. 7.00 Five News National and international news. 7.15 Big Ideas That Changed The World David Blunkett MP, and former home secretary, examines the history of nationalism and its impact on British national identity today. 8.00 Fifth Gear 9.00 The Man Whose Arms Exploded: Hidden Lives Cautionary documentary following the rise of steroid abuse both in the US and the UK. 10.00 Prison Break Michael, Lincoln and Sara attempt to make contact with somebody who can be trusted with the recording. 11.00 FILM: Fair Game (1995) Explosive thriller in which a Miami lawyer is forced to go on the run with her police guard when she becomes the target of a criminal mastermind and a KGB hit squad. 12.40am USPGA Golf Highlights of the Players Championship from the Ponte Vedra Beach Course in Florida. 1.30 NASCAR Nextel Cup 2.20 NHL Ice Hockey 5.10 French Football

6.00am Football First: Match Choice (x5) 1.30 LIVE Sailing: America’s Cup 4.00 FA Cup Classics 4.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly 5.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 6.00 Hold The Back Page 7.30 LIVE Football League 10.00 Hold The Back Page 11.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 12.30am FA Cup Classics 1.00 Football League 2.30 Hold The Back Page 4.00 FA Cup Classics 4.30 LIVE International Cricket

6.00 BBC News And Weather The latest news and weather. 6.30 South East Today; Weather Regional news magazine. 7.00 Victoria’s Empire Victoria Wood visits countries that used to be part of Queen Victoria’s British Empire. 8.00 EastEnders Libby gives Darren short shrift and gets carried away with online dating. 8.30 Panorama John Sweeney investigates the Church of Scientology, endorsed by Hollywood celebs such as Tom Cruise and John Travolta, but which continues to face the criticism that it is less of a religion and more of a cult. 9.00 New Tricks When Brian’s dog finds a body on a common, it prompts two people to confess to murder. but who is the real culprit? 10.00 BBC News; Regional News; Weather 10.35 Not Going Out sitcom about a slacker and a clean-living Californian. 11.05 Inside Sport Gabby Logan introduces a new weekly sports show. 11.45 FILM: All The Queen’s Men (2001) Dire World War II comedy. 1.30am Sign Zone: Real Spooks: Panorama Special 2.30 It’s Not Easy Being Green 3.00 Demolition Series 3.30 To Buy Or Not To Buy 4.15 Joins BBC News 24

6.00 Meridian Tonight Local news magazine. Including Meridian weather. 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather The latest national and international news. 7.00 Emmerdale Eddie’s quick to get his feet firmly under Viv’s table while. Paddy goes full frontal to win back Rita. 7.30 Coronation Street Steve and Michelle realise their relationship is not going to be an easy ride. 8.00 Road To Ruin: Tonight Britain’s roads are now in such a dangerous condition, experts believe a decade of continuous work is required to mend them. 8.30 Coronation Street Kirk’s proposal goes horribly wrong. 9.00 Driving Me Crazy See highlights. 10.00 Teen Boob Jobs: Too Much Too Young See highlights. 10.30 ITV News; Weather 11.00 FILM: Predator (1987) Sci-fi horror. 12.55am UEFA Champions League Weekly Clare Tomlinson and Trevor Harris look back at how each club made it to the Champions League final in Athens, with a detailed review of both semi-finals. 1.25 ITV Play: Glitterball 4.05 Reading Festival 2005 5.00 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.00 The Simpsons The Simpsons apply for membership of a posh country club. 6.30 Hollyoaks Josh is terrified when Mike tells him that he remembers everything and gives him an ultimatum. 7.00 Channel 4 News Including sport and weather. 7.55 3 Minute Wonder: I Am What I Spend Series of short films analysing people’s shopping habits. 8.00 Dispatches: Gordon Brown Fit For Office? Political commentator Peter Oborne examines why so many of the chancellor’s former colleagues have spoken out against the prime minister-elect. 9.00 Cutting Edge: Mind Your Fing Language Documentary series. A look at how one school in Wolverhampton are attempting to tackle their students’ incessant swearing. 10.00 ER The team treat the victims of a collision between a truck and a family car. , 11.05 The Sopranos Carmela comes over all philosophical on a trip with Rosalie. 12.15am The Sopranos Phil Leotardo seeks to continue a cycle of retaliation between the New York and New Jersey families. 1.25 Sex And The City 2.00 Six Feet Under 3.00 Transmission With T-Mobile

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 On The Edge 7.00 WWE The Bottom Line 8.00 On The Edge 8.30 FA Cup Classics 9.00 Football League 11.00 FA Cup Classics 11.30 Spanish Football 1.30pm FA Cup Classics 2.00 Football League 4.00 Moto + 4.30 On The Edge 5.00 Wild Spirits 5.30 Netball 7.30 LIVE Speedway: Elite League 9.30 Sailing: America’s Cup 10.30 Speedway: Elite League 12.30am Sailing: America’s Cup 1.30 Netball 3.30 Sailing: America’s Cup

Sky Sports 3 7.00am Cricket: Friends Provident Trophy 8.30 Golf Night 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm World Motor Sport 2.30 Golf Night 5.00 WWE Raw 7.00 NBA Basketball 9.00 Netball 11.00 WWE Late Night Afterburn 12.00am Extreme Championship Wrestling 1.00 WWE Heat 2.00 WWE Late Night Raw

Matt Chittock

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

More4

Living

4.00pm Stargate SG-1 (x2) 6.00 Stargate Atlantis 7.00 The Simpsons (x4) 9.00 Project Runway 10.00 So You Think You’re Royal? 11.00 Law And Order 12.00am Las Vegas 1.00 Star Trek: Voyager 1.50 Mile High 2.40 British Sex 3.30 Hot Summer Downunder 4.20 Guilty! 5.10 Star Trek: Voyager

7.00pm Castaway Exposed 7.30 Castaway 8.00 The Real Hustle 8.30 Dog Borstal Unleashed 9.00 Little Britain 9.30 Ideal 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Rob Brydon’s Annually Retentive 11.00 Two Pints Of Lager & A Packet Of Crisps (x2) 12.00am American Dad 12.45 Rob Brydon’s Annually Retentive

7.00pm When We Were Scouts 8.00 The World 8.30 The Phoenix And The Carpet 9.00 Ian Hislop’s Scouting For Boys. See highlights 10.00 Smiley’s People 11.00 The Edwardians In Colour: The Wonderful World Of Albert Kahn 12.00am Ian Hislop’s Scouting For Boys. 1.00 The Double Life Of Saki

3.20pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 4.25 Sally Jessy Raphael 5.15 Airline USA 5.45 Judge Judy 7.00 Planet’s Funniest Animals 7.20 Grease Is The Word 9.00 FILM: Johnny English (2002) 10.45 Coronation Street (x2) 11.45 FILM: Ghost Ship (2002) 1.35am ITV Play: Glitterball 4.00 Teleshopping

3.00pm Pie In The Sky 4.00 Cagney And Lacey 5.00 Quantum Leap 6.05 Rising Damp 6.40 Film File 6.50 Lovejoy 8.00 The Bill: Blood Money 9.00 Law And Order: Trial By Jury 10.00 Cracker 11.00 Bad Girls 12.05am Lovejoy 1.10 Brideshead Revisited 2.10 The Jewel In The Crown 3.10 Ironside

3.30pm The OC 4.30 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 The War At Home 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 FILM: Addams Family Values (1993) 10.45 Skins 11.45 Scrubs (x2) 12.40am FILM: Addams Family Values (1993) 2.25 Ed 3.10 The War At Home 3.35 The OC 4.15 Switched (x4)

1.05pm Deal Or No Deal 2.00 ER (x2) 4.00 FILM: Undercover Man (1949) 5.35 A Place In The Sun 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 More4 News 8.30 The Daily Show Global Edition 9.00 Relocation, Relocation 10.00 Saddam’s Tribe 12.00am NYPD Blue 1.00 Countdown

7.00pm The X Files 8.00 Top Chef 9.00 Abbey And Janice: Beauty And The Best 10.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (x2) 12.00am The X Files 1.00 Abbey And Janice: Beauty And The Best 2.00 Charmed 2.55 Body Of Evidence (x2) 3.50 The Hairdresser (x2) 4.40 The Jerry Springer Show (x2)

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

7.00pm Keeping Up Appearances 7.40 Dinnerladies 8.20 One Foot In The Grave 9.00 Only Fools And Horses 10.05 One Foot In The Grave 10.45 The Catherine Tate Show (x2) 12.05am One Foot In The Grave 12.45 2point4 Children 1.25 Room 101 2.00 Have I Got 2002 For You 2.30 The Bill

7.00pm Becker (x2) 8.00 That 70s Show (x2) 9.00 Two And A Half Men 9.30 Rules Of Engagement 10.00 Sex And The City (x2) 11.10 South Park 11.40 The World Stands Up 12.10am Jack Dee Live At The Apollo 1.10 Sex And The City (x2) 2.20 Badly Dubbed Porn 2.50 Sexy Cam 3.00 Ally McBeal

7.00pm Mythbusters 8.00 How Do They Do It? 9.00 American Chopper 10.00 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls 11.00 Salvage Squad 12.00am The FBI Files 1.00 Psychic Witness 2.00 Forensic Detectives 3.00 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls 3.50 American Chopper 4.40 Mega Builders 5.30 How It’s Made

2.00pm The Lost World 3.00 FILM: Descent (2005) 5.00 Dark Angel 6.00 The Lost World 7.00 Roswell 8.00 Dark Angel 9.00 Medium 10.00 Heroes 10.59 George Lucas In Love 11.10 FILM: Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991) 1.50am Medium 2.50 George Lucas In Love 3.00 ReGenesis 4.00 Profiler

4.00pm Vertigo (1958) 6.20 Classics Close Up 6.50 Gunfight At The OK Corral (1957) 9.00 The Barbarian And The Geisha (1958) 10.50 Vertigo (1958) 1.00am The Loneliness Of The Long Distance Runner (1962) 3.00 The Chaplin Revue (1959) 5.00 The Earth Dies Screaming (1964)

12.00pm Tube Tales (1999) 1.30 The Portrait Of A Lady (1996) 4.00 Wal-Mart: The High Cost Of Low Price 5.50 Indie Close-Up 6.20 Galapagos 7.10 Mad Hot Ballroom 9.00 Tube Tales (1999) 10.30 The Portrait Of A Lady (1996) 1.00am WalMart: The High Cost Of Low Price 3.00 Galapagos

1.00pm The Left Hand Of God (1955) 2.50 Blanche Fury (1948) 4.40 Good Morning, Miss Dove (1955) 6.55 The Madness Of King George (1994) Atmospheric psychological period piece. 9.00 Secrets And Lies (1995) Drama from Mike Leigh starring timothy Spall. 11.40 Bully (2001) 1.50am Manic (2001)

12.40pm A Tale Of Two Cities (1935) 3.00 Home From The Hill (1960) 5.45 Across The Wide Missouri (1951) 7.15 The Gang That Couldn’t Shoot Straight (1971) 9.00 Ride The High Country (1962) 10.45 Billy The Kid (1941) 12.30am Fame (1980) 2.50 Teleshopping 3.10 Goodbye Mr Chips (1939)

Classics

Indie