Latest 7 Issue 322: 22-28 May 2007

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latest

Cars The weekly listings and TV guide 22–28 May 2007 FREE

£4,990

up close and seasonal fabulous food from local producers this way for the gas, ladies & gentlemen don’t miss this inspirational musical at the udderbelly

top of the shops a new era of retailing in the hannington quarter

£14,490 from tempest4cars see page 4

on the radio! latest soup 97.2FM mon-fri 4-6pm

latest

jobs highly paid professional positions registered nurses brighton see page 51

open at the

udderbelly

pasture bar from 12.30 daily

electrical engineer near gatwick see page 51

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latest 7 5 Cars

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contents 25 Food

Citroën’s Picasso is a work of art

7 What Katie says

Roast dinner at The Ram Inn, Firle

26 Latest hot list

Quick lit makes dinner party chat easy

8 Eminemmylou

Our top restaurants, cafés and bars

27 Recipe

Spoken word featuring the Bard himself

8 Dani’s diary

Low-fat Mediterranean cooking

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28 Cinema

What’s the best way to deal with anger?

9 Social diary

This week’s films reviewed and rated

30 Music

The launch of Water Margin and Kabuki

The one-day music and arts festival Loop and other gig news

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And the winner is...

10 Celebcity Funny man Jimmy Carr closes Fringe festivities in style at the Latest Awards

11 Competitions

32 Radio Reverb Connecting people by the forces of radio

32 Foxy Mamma Malone

Win tickets to Music Park 2007

Skinny jeans and smock tops? Malone’s bewildered by post-baby fashion trends

We give you the lowdown on the Brighton Festival Fringe

11 Crossword Test your knowledge in cryptic or quick

33 Nightlife Club events and a trip to The Katarina

12 Bare cheek The Cheeky Boys’ ‘Ask a guru’ column

34 Gay A gay paper and nude male shopper

12 Stars Things aren’t looking easy in the stars

35 Theatre Blonde Bombshells of 1943 previewed

13 Stand-up comedy Victoria plans on laughing right to the end as the festival draws to a close

13 Marc the vet

Cover Image: Dress by Noli; available at Indigo Roses, www.indigoroses.com

37 Events and kids Scalextric fun at Race-A-Way in Hove

38 Art

Watch out for bats leaving hibernation

14 Udderbelly

John Simpson’s art at O Contemporary

39 Latest listings

Don’t miss This Way For The Gas, Ladies & Gentleman

The hottest tickets for the week ahead

40 Reviews 16 Brighton Festival

Casting a critical eye over recent shows

End the festival with The Big Splash

41 Day-by-day guide 17 Shopping

Our complete guide to local events

Smart and exclusive retail at the Hanningtons Quarter in Brighton

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48 Venue directory Your comprehensive venue guide

18 Body and soul The benefits of colonic hydrotherapy

50 Latest jobs Highly paid professional positions

19 Health Find a fitness class to suit you

52 Latest TV

21 Sussex food and drink A look at the best local producers

Complete television listings guide, TV movies and Dani’s take on recent TV programmes

01273 818150 Editor Bill Smith Business Director Angi Mariani Creative Director Andrew Kay Production Director Fiona McTernan Finance Manager Sharon Caple Art Director Stephen King Production Manager Neil Ive Website Manager Paul Burgess Production Editor Victoria Nangle Production Assistant Zara Friend

Chief Sub-editor Wendy McAngus Senior Sub-editor Philippa Smith Sub-editors Ashley Bird Hayley Carmichael Viv Craske Joe Curtin Hugh Farmar Billy Imrie Anita Wilkinson Designers Anand Day Peter Knight Jamie Powell Steve Sawyer Music Editor Jeff Hemmings

Staff Writers Matt Chittock Craig Driver Katie Glass Dani Winch

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Advertising Director Lynne Edwards Advertising Manager Kate Knight Advertising Sales Marie Viviani Administration Heather Holland Claire Peerless Stefan Reszczynski Latest Homes Unit 1, Level 5 North New England House New England Street Brighton BN1 4GH

Editorial: editorial@thelatest.co.uk Advertising: lynne@thelatest.co.uk

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Everyone’s always a winner at the Latest Brighton Festival and Fringe Awards, and this year is no different with another winning combination of stariness, real-life grittiness and nail-biting suspense.

Get your tickets now for the Latest awards show at the Udderbelly on Bank Holiday Monday 28 May at 9pm. Starring Jimmy Carr as the awards meister, and featuring some great acts, the night promises to be a surprising and exciting finale to this year’s biggest ever festival. Tickets are available from the ticket office on 01273 709709, but hurry to join the lucky winners of seats.

There’s some great theatre this week. At the well-loved Komedia, catch 20,000 Leagues Under The Office, Taylor Mac, Hysteria and Queen Of The Slaughter. For more info go to www.brightonfestivalfringe.org.uk Also, if you can’t get enough festivaling, why not catch a festival within a festival on 22–24 May with The Critical Incident. It’s a three-day celebration of creativity and innovation on personal and working life, including live and recorded performance, photography, visual art, research, literature and debate. A celebration of rational madness!

See www.thecriticalincident.com or call 07903 012346. And we’ve a special offer for Latest 7 readers: a 2 for 1 Critical Incident pass, including free entry to Death By PowerPoint at the Sussex Arts Club, 21–23 May at 7.30pm.

Book one three-day pass via www.brightonfestivalfringe.org.uk and bring the ticket on the first day to pick up a second three-day pass!

This week is also your last chance to catch the new musical, This Way For The Gas, Ladies & Gentlemen being performed by The Life & Death Orchestra, the Rainbow Chorus and conducted by Dominic Nunns. The show is performed 22, 23, 25, 26 and 27 May at the Udderbelly, Old Steine, Brighton. Ring 01273 709709 for tickets. See page 14 for details.

To find out what else is new, and who’s in the know, tune in to Latest Soup on Radio Reverb 97.2FM, Monday to Friday, 4pm–6pm.

Hosted by Jeff Hemmings, the most laid-back man in radio with a sexy voice to boot, hear interviews with the coolest bands, the funniest comedians, the artiest artists, and the most talented actors. latest 7 3

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State of the art The five-seat Citroën C4 Picasso has been unveiled – could it be a masterpiece? Simon Asphar gives it the once-over...

To many, Picasso, as a word conjures up an image of a MPV these days, rather than faces with their features re-arranged at new jaunty angles. Citroën were onto a big success with this one. With its distinctively different styling, the five-seat C4 Picasso slips naturally into Citroën’s compact MPV range between the established, best-selling Xsara Picasso and the award-winning seven-seat version, which will now be known as the Grand C4 Picasso. With three compact MPVs and the full-size C8 people carrier, Citroën now boasts the broadest MPV range in its history.

The new five-seat C4 Picasso benefits from the same forward-thinking that shaped the design of the recently launched Grand C4 Picasso, with outstanding all-round visibility, a light and airy interior, leading cabin and boot space, incorporating a new version of Citroën’s Modubox folding trolley, and the use of high quality materials. The easy-to-use and flexible interior layout combines with the uncluttered interior space and the highest levels of comfort to ensure that travelling is a pleasurable experience. Citroën’s newest model sports a fresh, dynamic look, with a body style that is at once compact, flowing and eye-catching.

The assertive-looking front end features a newstyle bumper with oversized air intakes covered in black mesh, while the unique wave of the waistline, highlighted in chrome, creates an attractive side profile.

However, it is at the back where the fiveseat C4 Picasso’s distinctive personality and styling really shines through. The rear pillars are masked by the quarter-lights and,

combined with the rest of the huge glazed area, give the impression that the upper half of the vehicle is completely surrounded by glass.

The saloon-style rear end features lights with a unique horizontal design. The interior of Citroën’s newcomer is refreshingly light, with outstanding visibility provided by the huge windscreen, slim pillars and optional panoramic sunroof. Artificial lighting also plays a major role with the availability of various useful features, such as automatic welcome lights under the door mirrors, a portable torch in the boot and reading lights on the back of the front seats, all designed to make journeys easier.

“A fresh, dynamic look, with a body style that is compact, flowing and eye-catching” The exterior dimensions (4.47m long, 1.83m wide and 1.66m tall) give the C4 Picasso an extremely spacious interior. This feeling of space is enjoyed by all passengers, with those in the front benefiting from the simple, uncluttered design of the dash and those in the back from three individual, full-size seats and a flat floor. The innovative seating design, first seen in the Grand C4 Picasso, allows the rear seats to be quickly and easily folded flat into the floor. When all five seats are in use, the new model leads the class with 500 litres of boot space underneath the luggage cover, extending to a maximum 1,734 litres once the

rear seats are folded down. Helping to keep the boot tidy, the five-seat C4 Picasso can also be equipped with a new version of Citroën’s renowned Modubox. This innovative, removable trolley makes it easy to divide boot space and to transport objects outside of the vehicle.

The new five seat C4 Picasso provides a relaxing journey for all occupants. Suspension comfort can be further enhanced by the optional pneumatic rear suspension, while laminated acoustic side windows can be specified to make it even quieter inside. An automatic electronic parking brake and Hill Start Assist are fitted as standard and make everyday driving easier.

Thoughtful extras such as individual air flow controls for back seat passengers, an air quality sensor and a scented air freshener can all add to the pleasant onboard atmosphere. A high quality stereo system and folding video screens in the back of the front seats are also available to keep passengers entertained. Developed on the same platform as the Grand C4 Picasso, which scored five stars in Euro NCAP tests, the new C4 Picasso meets the most stringent criteria for occupant protection, offering the likes of four Isofix seats, audible seatbelt warnings for all seats and seven airbags as standard.

The five seat C4 Picasso is available with a choice of four fuel-efficient engines: 127hp 1.8i 16V and 143hp 2.0i 16V petrol units, and 110hp 1.6HDi and 138hp 2.0HDi diesel powerplants, both fitted with Diesel Particulate Filter Systems. Dependent on engine there is a choice of gearboxes: manual, automatic or a 6-speed electronic gearbox system with paddle-shift gear change.

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KATIE’S COLUMN

What Katie says The compact editions of classic novels will fill the gaps in Katie’s reading. And help her pull…

Cut to the chase So, you’re at a dinner party…

Have I lost some of you already?

Seriously, don’t panic – my idea of a dinner party involves waking up in someone’s bed and sharing a pizza with them. Now then, let’s try again…

You’re at a dinner party and the conversation turns to books. And then, more specifically to a book that you haven’t actually read.

“Really great literature inspires us and challenges our view of the world.

It brings us together, even if just in standing us apart”

Joogle it Three reasons to go to the Joogleberry Playhouse this June:

Diva-ine souls sessions by Aydenne Simone, Saturday 9 June, £8

Brighton’s Drag Idol winner, Trudi Styles in Streetlife.

Tuesday 12 June, 8pm, £7

Dubtastic, funky hip hop from Bad Science, Wednesday 20 June, 8pm, £5 Joogleberry Playhouse 14–17 Manchester St 01273 687171 www.joogleberry.com Image: Chris Ashfield

As is always the case, there’s someone there you fancy – so what do you do?

Keep quiet and fiddle with your pepperoni? Admit all, hoping that not having read every friggin’ thing in the Penguin back catalogue just shows you have a life (as opposed to a literacy problem)? Or lie about having read said book and attempt to bluff your way through?

Personally, I always go for option three. And since I’ve got a first in English literature and a very aggressive attitude – I usually find it works for me.

I don’t feel bad about lying about what I’ve read because, as everybody knows, if literature is good for anything at all then it’s making small talk.

Struggling your way through Jude The Obscure, deciphering A Clockwork Orange or tackling a bit of Burroughs, is not half as interesting as talking to your friends about it afterwards.

Really great literature is great because it inspires and challenges our view of the world.

It brings us together, even if just in standing us apart. And, hence, it makes an interesting conversation starter.

But if, as my dinner party scenario suggests, there is one problem with literature – it’s that no one’s got the time, not to mention the willpower, to get through all of it.

The most readerly people I know all still have gaps in their libraries where some great tome of literary genius should be.

Indeed, even though I can scan read my way through an average novel in an afternoon, I could never make it past the first chapter of War and Peace.

So imagine my joy when I heard that Orion are to print ‘compact editions’ of some great literary works: Anna Karenina, David Copperfield and Vanity Fair, among them.

Bemoaning the amount of ‘padding’, that the literary classic contains, Orion’s editors have created a collection of reduced works that you can read ‘in half the time’. With their MD (a man after my own heart) explaining: “Many regular readers think of the classics as long, slow and, to be frank, boring. You’re not supposed to say this, but I think that one of the reasons Jane Austen always does so well in reader polls is that her books aren’t that long.”

Unsurprisingly, the literati are miffed. Which, when you’ve forgone a lifetime of clubbing to sit holed up in the library, seems fair enough. But personally, I’d like to shake Orion by their collective hand. Because now, next time I’m at a dinner party, bluffing my way through the collected works of Wilde, with information collated from the blurbs on the back, at least whoever I’m chatting to will be able to join in.

Comments, queries and general chitchat can be sent to: katie@thelatest.co.uk

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THE RHYME

Eminemmylou The UK’s first and only rap and spoken-word column.

This week featuring William Shakespeare Your starter for ten, name the plays in which these couplets live And you’ll be a rhymer’s rhymer, with a memory unlike a sieve From the rapper born and died on the same April 23rd day Over to Will Shakey, a Taurean with a way with words, what can I say?

Doubt the stars are fire, doubt the sun doth move Doubt truth to be a liar, but never doubt I love True hope is swift and flies with swallow’s wings; Kings it makes gods, and meaner creatures kings Neither a borrower nor a lender be For loan oft loses both itself and friend Here she comes, curst and sad, Cupid is a knavish lad Thus to make poor females mad Dost thou think, because thou art virtuous, There shall be no more cakes and ale?

Too hot, too hot, to mingle friendship far Is mingling bloods In nature there’s no blemish but the mind None can be call’d deform’d but the unkind True, I talk of dreams, which are the children of an idle brain Begot nothing but vain fantasy You juggler! You cankerblossom!

You counterfeit, you puppet you!

You taught me language, and my profit on’t Is, I know how to curse.

The first set of correct answers out of the hat wins some poetry books. Send your entries to the email address below.

Send rhymes and a pic to: eminemmylou@thelatest.co.uk

EMOTIONS

Dani’s diary Dani tries to decide when it is OK to lash out and mulls over her four years of column-writing Do you ever sometimes feel really angry with someone or something, but instead of showing the anger you smile and push all the feelings inside? Do you ever sometimes feel like you want to cry but instead of letting it out you suck it all in and get that weird feeling in your stomach?

I did, all the time and then I had a nervous breakdown. So the moral of the story is to let out your feelings. But that is not always the best way to behave, acting like a child, constantly telling everyone how they p*ss you off, randomly bursting into tears or screaming your face off. So how do you know when it’s OK to let off some steam?

I did consider joining a kick boxing club, thinking that once a week kicking the life out a punch bag would help. I still think it would help but I can’t afford to go.

I know people who deal with anger and hurt in many different ways.

Some of us cry, some of us punch walls, some of us get diarrhoea, some of us just tell the people making us feel that way, and some of us don’t say anything at all. So what’s the best way to deal with it? If you were expecting me to tell you, you’d be very wrong because I have no idea. All I know is that whole count to ten thing is a load of rubbish!

“You only get trained to deal with stress and anger if you’ve been arrested or sent to a therapist. What about everyone else?”

It’s a bit strange that you only get trained in how to deal with stress and anger if you have been arrested or sent to see a therapist. What about everyone else?

I’m not entirely sure why I feel it’s so important to write a column about dealing with frustration; I suppose it must be because I’m feeling a bit peeved and I’m not sure how to go about getting rid of it. What I feel I need is a good rant, but I don’t want to rant here, I’ll phone a friend and bend their ear!

Time feels like it’s getting faster, it feels like I wrote my last column yesterday when in actual fact it was a week ago. I keep forgetting what day it is, what time it is, what I’m supposed to be doing and that makes me angry. I’m just not in a good mood this morning and I’m sorry, I should have waited and written something cheery, but let’s face it, I am one of the least cheery people I know, so why pretend? My wisdom teeth are kicking themselves through my gums, I had a bad anxiety attack last night and I feel I need to sleep for a week. With any luck by next week I’ll be feeling better and I’ll have real news to report.

Hopefully by next week I will have learnt to deal with feeling mad!

I have written one column every week for nearly four years. That is a bloody long time, and it sometimes feels like I have written the same thing over and over! And to a certain extent, I have. For four years I have written 600 words a week about my life: that’s a lot of words, and chances are they have been the same words a few times! So I’m thinking that sometimes when I ask these questions, I should look back through my columns. Perhaps I’ve already written myself the answers!

12,000 students attend the University of Sussex.

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The badger is the Students’ Union’s tabloid newspaper, published every Thursday and read by 84% of students*.

The pulse, our termly magazine, has been awarded the best UK Student Magazine twice by The Guardian and Independent newspapers.

To advertise in either publication, phone the USSU marketing team on 01273 678151 or email ussu-marketing@sussex.ac.uk * Student Lifestyle Questionnaire 2002

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LATESTDIARY

latestdiary With Tim Richardson

Fringe city frenzy

Decadent Japanese style On Thursday 3 May, the all-new Water Margin and Kabuki, located on Middle Street, Brighton, opened its doors for a private launch party.

Upstairs the Water Margin offers stylised luxury, atmospheric lighting, a contemporary backdrop and an opulent bar. And don’t forget the dim sum menu. As you descend into Kabuki, you enter a space that takes inspiration from traditional Japanese theatre. Reserve a booth with waitress service and be entertained by some of Brighton’s best DJs, artists and producers.

If after the children’s parade on Saturday 5 May you were lost for something to do (yeah right!), you should have headed down to a totally free, one-day celebration of all that is Fringe, ‘Fringe City’. Right in the heart of our festival-frenzied city at Jubilee Square, you could see some of the most exciting bits of the Fringe programme over five stages. Competitions and huge giveaways were in abundance with 200 free pairs of Fringe show tickets up for grabs. There were jugglers, dancers and even the chance of breaking a world record in a track stand competition. If you missed out, then no worries, as next year will see “The Return of Fringe City.”

Mike Ashby and Liz Li (Juice Brighton)

Roberto Valentino (right) and friend

Unit 03 Gallery is number one

Lindsay Alkin (gallery director), Trafford Parsons (exhibiting artist) and Dan Hipkin (studio director)

Trafford Parsons (exhibiting artist), Lester Magoogan (artist) and Marion Magoogan

Unit 03 Gallery is Brighton’s newest and most exciting art space. It opened on Friday 27 April with an exhibition by artist and gallery owner, Barry Surtees. Barry creates constructivist works from building materials found in the average skip – plaster, lead, steel, rusty cogs – which are then placed in relief on brightly painted, primary canvases, or monochromes which explore the tension between light and shade.

These are great big works that make an immediate and powerful impact, and will be on display in Unit 03 Gallery for the inaugural exhibition. Unit 03 Gallery will be open every weekend during the Brighton Festival as part of the Artists’ Open Houses trail, so there’s really no excuse not to check out the newest and most exciting addition to the local art scene, helping put Brighton arts on the map.

Unit 03 Gallery, 20 Wellington Road, Portslade BN41 1DN

Anna Kyriacou (artist) and Charlotte Wyatt

From the ashes... the Ink_d Gallery As one creative art – The Blue Dragon Tattooist – moves on, a new one -– The Ink_d Gallery – has risen, phoenix-like, from its ashes, at 96 North Road, Brighton. And on Thursday 26 April they threw open their doors for a private viewing for up-and-coming British artist, Trafford Parsons, as well as for their official opening on the next day, just in time for the Brighton Fringe Festival. There were mermaids serving up ice-cold beer and ‘tentacles of terror’ to be caught up in.

There are three floors of gallery space with a screen-printing and print studio in the basement, producing limited editions from all the shows. For more information visit www.ink-d.co.uk.

Anna Carey (Ambrose Harcourt PR) and Diana Frangi Chris Ellison (artist/actor)

Colette Meacher (Latest Art), Barry Surtees (artist and gallery owner) and Julie Surtees

If you have an event you would like featured please email editorial@thelatest.co.uk

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AROUNDTOWN

sponsored by

Celebcity with Jo Brooks

Start the Carr Comedian Jimmy to head up end-of-festival awards I’m sure you will agree with me when I say that the entertainments on offer at this year’s Brighton Festival and Festival Fringe have been among the best ever. Well, what better way to see May out with a bang for another year than with a glittering awards ceremony, hosted by none other than acid-tongued funnyman Jimmy Carr.

That’s right, folks!

Monday 28 May sees the third annual Latest Festival Awards, which were first set up in 2005 by this very magazine to recognise and applaud the cream of events, music, comedy and arts from the Brighton Festival and Festival Fringe.

I hear that this year’s awards ceremony is going to be bigger and better than ever before, and is taking place in the unique surroundings of the Udderbelly tent on the Old Steine. Well, I for one can’t think of a better venue in which to honour the stars of the Brighton Festival and Fringe than a giant, purple, inflatable, upside-down cow!

Past winners of coveted Latest Festival Awards have included TV chef Keith Floyd, camp comedian Julian Clary and last year’s hit festival show La Clique. And who knows what stars of stage and screen will be honoured with their own awards this year?

Tickets are still on sale from the Udderbelly box office, or at www.underbelly.co.uk/brighton, and cost a very reasonable £20. Twenty notes for Jimmy Carr? What are you waiting for?!

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Heather hits the streets Speaking of the Brighton Festival, a little bird tells me that Hove resident Heather MillsMcCartney was spotted causing a bit of a stir down at the Streets Of Brighton events earlier this month.

According to my spotter, the estranged wife of music legend Sir Paul McCartney had taken her daughter Beatrice along to watch the festivities on New Road, which this year included a mechanical horse and a trio of incredible drag queens.

But instead of just watching the show with the rest of the audience, I hear that Ms Mills took up a position behind the stage (where, quite incidentally, she was in full view of everybody), and surrounded herself with a very noticeable looking band of security guards.

It’s a hard life being in the public eye, isn’t it?

Velvet goldmine Recently, a celebrity vortex seems to have opened up in the centre of Brighton, drawing a host of famous faces down Bond Street and – more specifically – into the cute and quirky furniture emporium that is Velvet.

Last week, chanteuse and celeb sibling Natasha Bedingfield dropped by and picked up a garden bench, shortly followed by Chantelle and Preston who bought a large armoire, very similar (in fact) to the one purchased by ex-S Clubber and Primeval star, Hannah Spearritt who popped in later that day with boyfriend and co-star Andrew-Lee Potts.

Other past celebrity browsers have included Alistair McGowan, Nick Berry, Lacey Turner (aka Stacey from EastEnders) and – my personal favourite – Declan Donnelly (or is it Ant I like?).

Velvet owner Emma Harrop followed in her father George’s footsteps by opening the new furniture shop – her second in Bond Street – earlier this year.

Victorious Wood I spent a very enjoyable evening in the company of Victoria Wood (and several hundred others) at the Brighton Dome Concert Hall recently. She was, as you would expect, funny and engaging and during the course of the evening she let slip that her favourite type of music is jazz funk and her favourite artist is none other than Brighton-based DJ Mr Scruff!

Andre’s OK And finally, you might have heard that Sussex-based celeb Peter Andre was a bit of a poorly boy earlier this month, when he suddenly came down with a bout of viral meningitis. I’m pleased to hear that Pete is now out of the woods, and is looking forward to spending the coming months recovering and generally taking it easy, in the company of wife Katie Price and kids Junior and Harvey.

On behalf of all at Latest 7, hope you feel better soon, Pete!

Comedy celebrity anagram of the week: Nigella Lawson = ‘Lasagne... now ill!’

Jo Brooks is director of Brighton-based PR company JBPR Ltd, 01273 622555 www.jb-pr.com

To comment on any of these stories or send in any news stories email editorial@thelatest.co.uk

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COMPETITIONSXWORD

In it to win it

latestcrossword

solutions on page 32

Get your hands on these great giveaways!

Music Park 2007 – Tickets: Ronan Keating

Stanmer Park will be the venue for Brighton’s new fourday music festival Music Park this June.

Kicking off celebrations on Thursday 21 June will be the monumentally successful Ronan Keating performing from his 2006 album Bring You Home. He has sold over 19 million albums worldwide, and holds the Guinness World Record position of Longest Complete Run Of Top 10 Hit Singles with 30 in total.

Ronan beats even Madonna and Elvis on this score! Ronan says: “I’m delighted to be playing down South to such a great audience as I’m sure will greet me in Brighton”. The concert will start at 7.30pm. The lovely people behind Music Park are giving away a pair of tickets to Latest 7 readers for each night of the festival. See next week’s issue for tickets to the show on Friday 22 June.

To stand a chance of winning tickets to see Ronan on 21 June, answer this question: Which boy band had success under Ronan’s management? See below for entry details.

Bobby – DVD An all-star cast including Anthony Hopkins, Demi Moore, Sharon Stone and Lindsay Lohan star in this new release DVD written and directed by Emilio Esteves. A cinematic triumph at the Venice Film Festival and Golden Globes, Bobby looks at the 1968 assassination of Senator Robert F Kennedy, blending real events with fictional characters. A remarkable DVD, not to be missed. We have two copies to give away. To stand a chance of bagging one, answer this question: Which trilogy of films did Emilio Esteves appear in as the coach to a young ice hockey team?

Diary Of A Lost Girl – DVD Diary Of A Lost Girl (1931) was the second pairing of the filmmaker GW Pabst with actress Louise Brooks. Their first collaboration was Pandora’s Box (1929). Brooks plays Thymiane who gives birth to a child and subsequently rejects her family’s expectations for marriage. The baby is stripped from her care and Thymiane is relegated to a purgatorial reform school. Escaping, Thymiane learn the fate of her child, and enters a brothel, where she nonetheless flourishes emotionally and sexually, and life begins anew. To be in with a chance of winning one of two copies, answer the following question: What does the GW in director GW Pabst’s name stand for? Entrants must be 18 or over.

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ACROSS

DOWN

ACROSS

1 It’s disaster the morning after Capone gets in town (8) 5 Century man or beast (4) 9 There’s no parking for aircraft in narrow roads (5) 10 Part of the surreal is merely a practical view (7) 11 Man has a way with loud celebrity, a generous woman (12) 13 Showbusiness town falls silent (6) 14 Keep still while unchained animal has bra removed (6) 17 Monsieur Rufus Nelson is overcome by sorrow (12) 20 Put down tree seed, you hear!

(7) 21 Be prepared to study the question (5) 22 Cupid bends over in pain (4) 23 Rush mats need deep weaving (8)

1 Shout about everything (4) 2 To the French, seabird from the north is a source of light (7) 3 Female mischief? (12) 4 Walk round hospital with twine (6) 6 Girl writes article on pests (5) 7 His overthrow separates the celebrated from the starving (8) 8 Crazy rat bit German carrying offensive weapon (9,3) 12 Human organs can break down Scots ham (8) 15 Capture the returning age four ways (7) 16 Turkish minaret has no middle tower (6) 18 Moonlike arrangement of bones (5) 19 Rubber product may suffer fatigue, it is said (4)

1 Tiny portion (8) 5 Association (4) 9 Fable-teller (5) 10 100 kilograms (7) 11 Olibanum (12) 13 Person in institution (6) 14 Late meal (6) 17 Caterer (12) 20 Knotty (7) 21 Sequence (5) 22 Require (4) 23 Restrained (8)

Dead Or Alive Final – DVD Released on 28 May by Tartan Video, Takashi Miike’s Dead Or Alive Final is the final title in an explosive trilogy. A mad, gritty sci-fi romp filled with gun-toting cops, giant robots, there’s reference to many sci-fi classics including Blade Runner and The Terminator.

This film stands alone, however, as a wild and original leap into uninhibited imagination. To be in with a chance of winning one of three copies, tell us: What year was Takashi Miike’s first Dead Or Alive film released? Entrants must be 18 or over. See below for details.

Eisenstein Boxset Vol. 1 – DVD This stunning new boxset collects together three great films from the late director Sergei Eisenstein, one of the masterful auteurs of the silent era. Featuring Strike (1924) , October (1924) and the hugely influential (and originally banned) Battleship Potemkin (1925), this is a collection for all film enthusiasts, marking the fantastic work of this acclaimed director. The famous Odessa steps scene from the latter film has been borrowed in a number of movies since, including The Untouchables and Star Wars III. A legendary film maker for raising suspense, don’t miss out on this new Eisenstein collection. To win one of three copies: Tell us the alternative title of the film October.

To be in with a chance of winning email competitions@thelatest.co.uk with the title of the prize you wish to win in the subject box. Leave your answer to the question in the body of the email along with your name, contact address and number. Alternatively, write to us at the address at the front of the magazine. (Closing date for entries: 5 June)

For coverage in this magazine email editorial@thelatest.co.uk

DOWN 1 Scheme (4) 2 Platform (7) 3 Impervious (12) 4 Fluid (6) 6 Ancient language (5) 7 Blue fruit (8) 8 Uncivil (12) 12 Gas (8) 15 Pillage (7) 16 Card game (6) 18 Disgrace (5) 19 Frame of bars (4).

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IKEA goods Tell us what you want, and we’ll deliver it. Simple as that.

No traffic. No queues. No rows. No hassle.

FEARLESS MIKE 01273 711166 As seen on TV.

admin@fearlessmike.com

www.fearlessmike.com

Ask about our flatpack assembly service We are an independent limited company and not part of the Ikea group.

latest 7 11

012_LS322_cheeky/stars

5/16/07

4:06 PM

Page 2

ONLY JOKING!

Bare cheek

Dear guru, Well thanks a lot. That was a big help.

FK Smith, Portslade

Brian Mitchell and Joseph Nixon’s thoroughly scurrilous Brighton column

Aha, my friend. Be not sarcastic. Let not anger enter into the palace of your soul. Is the swallow angry with the thunderstorm? Is the mighty oak furious with the squirrel?

In & Out IN • Pimple • Helium • Canderel Spoonful • Those aprons with a picture of a nude woman’s body wearing nipple tassels • Rage

FESTIVAL HIGHLIGHTS • MUSIC Wear ‘em out Wilf – The Opera Richard Thomas and Stewart Lee’s musical adaptation of the Whizzer and Chips comic. Contains incredibly strong language.

Theatre Bourgeoisie, 25 May, 8pm, £10/£8 The Girls and the Dogs Candida Postgate’s electrifying 19piece play their usual songs of love and death, while you drift off into a lovely fantasy about walking along the beach hand-in-hand with her on a blustery October evening, kissing with numb lips and skimming pebbles together across an ocean that seems to be made of light.

Booglejerry Showhouse, 29 May, 8pm, £6/£5

Dear guru, I really like this coat I saw in Zara. I can’t really afford it, but I really want it.

Should I buy it?

Ms J Greene, Brighton

OUT • Chiefy • Shed Seven • Risk assessment • Rockcliffe’s Babies • Saying, “Good thinking, Batman”

Ask a guru Mahamandaleshwar Kamalananda Giriji brings spiritual enlightenment to those who seek understanding

• PERFORMANCE Arse Hat Monkey Co-operative People in white-face make-up doing something that hovers frustratingly between comedy, theatre and performance art, without ever actually being funny or exciting.

The Lower Ground Floor, 25 May, 7.30pm, £6/£5 • LITERATURE Will Self talks to Will Self The novelist in conversation with another, identical Will Self. Contains words you don’t understand.

Kommune, 26 May, 6.30pm, £8/£6 Goon Moaning Arthur Bostrom, who played the English spy pretending to be a French policeman in ‘Allo ‘Allo, reads excerpts from his autobiography.

La Mer Posh, 27 May, 2pm, £25/£18

Dear guru, What’s it all about, eh?

FK Smith, Portslade

Aha, my friend. What is clothing, but a meaningless frippery? Does the mongoose concern himself with matters of fashion? Do the clouds pine for the latest styles? Anyway, red makes you look fat.

Dear guru, So basically, you don’t know, do you?

You’ve no idea what it’s all about. All you do is posit rhetorical questions concerning animals and elemental forces, you fraud.

FK Smith, Portslade

Aha, my friend. Does the flower ask why it rains? Does the humble fish seek knowledge of the ocean? One may as well ask why the sky is blue, why the stars shine, or whether the 81 bus is ever going to turn up. I say to you – seek not knowledge, but only the truth.

Aha, my friend. Does the corn fear the field mouse? Bring not your questions to me like birthday favours.

Rather, stick them where the sun does not shine.

Dear guru, Why do bad things happen to good people?

Miss C Porter, Hove

Dear guru, You borrowed my lawnmower six months ago. When can I have it back?

Rishi Mahamandaleshwar Shambavanada, Chhattisgarh

Aha, my friend. When the great guru Mahamandaleshwar Mohananandagiri Maharaj walked six hundred miles to bring sweet plums to his ailing grandmother and received, for his pains, a kick in the knackers, he did not question why, but instead offered up thanks that he possessed knackers to kick. Follow his example and you will find the true path to awareness.

Aha, my friend. You can whistle for it.

For I have already sold it and used the money to buy a new Scalextric. Ha ha!

In your face.

Well my friends, I’d better go and achieve Truth-Consciousness-Bliss.

See ya next week, chums.

THE GURU XXX

STARS

Astral Angi ★ Finding truth in the stars★

Buy the CD Bardsley’s, country music with c-hip s-hop beats at Bardsley’s and Borders NOW!

BARDSLEY’S RECYCLED FISH N CHIPS

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01273 681256

ARIES (MAR 21–APR 20)

CANCER (JUNE 22–JULY 22)

LIBRA (SEP 23–OCT 22)

CAPRICORN (DEC 21–JAN 19)

It’s not easy being an Aries. You have to wear red clothes all the time, and be pioneering and bossy and sometimes you just want to be a slacker.

It’s not easy being a Cancerian. You have to be soft and cuddly and domestic, and sometimes you just want to be ruthless and dead ‘ard.

It’s not easy being a Libran. Always balanced and refined, when sometimes you want to take sides and eat baloney sandwiches all day.

It’s not easy being a Capricorn. You have to be sensible and think about your finances each week, when you just want to spend, spend, spend.

TAURUS (APR 21–MAY 21)

LEO (JULY 23–AUG 22)

SCORPIO (OCT 23–NOV 21)

AQUARIUS (JAN 20–FEB 19)

It’s not easy being a Taurus. You have to eat copious meals and be a gros gourmand and be musical and artistic and sometimes you just want to be a slim scientist.

It’s not easy being a Leo. You have to be showbiz personified and sometimes you just want to sit on the porch on a rocking chair knitting a pair of socks.

It’s not easy being a Scorpio. You have to wear trench coats and be sexy and mysterious every day, when sometimes you just want to wear a sensible cagoule.

It’s not easy being an Aquarian. You have to be original and zany and wear unique clothes and be intelligent, when sometimes you just want to copy everyone else.

GEMINI (MAY 22–JUNE 21)

VIRGO (AUG 23–SEP 22)

SAGITTARIUS (NOV 22–DEC 20)

PISCES (FEB 20–MAR 20)

It’s not easy being a Gemini. You have to be flirtatious and vivacious and chatty and batty and party all night, and sometimes you just want to stay at home.

It’s not easy being a Virgo. You have to be tidy and neat and organised and responsible, and sometimes you just want to be a freak like those redclothes-wearing Aries types.

It’s not easy being a Sagittarian. You have to be free and easy and travel all the time and have masses of casual sex, when sometimes you just want to settle down.

It’s not easy being a Pisces. You have to be soft and caring, when sometimes you just want to laugh an evil laugh, twirl your moustache, and tell people to get a life.

12 latest 7

To talk to Astral Angi please email angi@thelatest.co.uk

013_LS322_stand-up/vets

5/16/07

3:52 PM

Page 1

STAND-UP COMEDY

A laughing matter Victoria Nangle gets set to see out the festival in celebratory style

“Perhaps over your own pizza-drive deliberating, you too may find you’d like to do your own awards show” The best bit, to me, about doing your own awards is the various categories you can come up with that don’t quite fit into officialdom. The Best Show For Making Me Laugh When I Wasn’t Supposed To. The Best Surprise Sing-a-long. The Most Original Title For A Show. There’ll be contenders for all of these in my own private awards ceremony, and you’ll have your own magical reflections upon what made the festival for you this year. Not forgetting that we’ve still got the last week to enjoy, with late contenders for all categories able to jump in at the last possible moment.

Alternatively, if this seems like too much trouble you could just make sure you catch a great show on the last day of the festival. It’s a bank holiday, for goodness sake – even if you just see an afternoon extravaganza and then go home, we’ve all got to take advantage of the gift of no work on a regular work day.

The main thing is that we all appreciate just how lucky we have been for the past month. It may have been manic at times but we got the best from all the other festivals, the new and the innovative right on our doorsteps – at reasonable prices – for an entire month. Celebrating the new and valuing the old sure is a good thing to do every year. Especially if there’s an off-chance it’ll be in an upside-down inflatable purple cow.

☺

Stand-up wisdom 42: “I’m an apathetic obsessive compulsive. I like everything to be symmetrical, but I can’t be arsed.” Neil Topley

image

Marc the vet The New Paul O’Grady Show’s Marc Abraham asks: are you batty about bats?

Pipistrelle bat Traditionally, May is the month that bats emerge from their winter hibernating roosts.

However, due to the warm weather we have been experiencing, bats have been seen on the wing much earlier this year.

In the UK we have 17 species of bats and they all have their own favourite habitats ranging from woodland edges to open water. Most common is the pipistrelle bat (pictured) and the chances are if you see a bat while taking a walk one summer evening or when you are outside, enjoying the last of the light in your garden, it will be a pipistrelle.

Bats are usually seen at dusk when they leave their daytime roosts in search of food. They hunt by echolocation – a sophisticated process involving the bat emitting high-frequency sound waves in order to distinguish its insect prey from other creatures and objects. Despite the well-known phrase ‘blind as a bat’ they actually have very good eyesight and can probably see better than humans at dusk. However, they cannot hunt by sight once darkness falls and so have developed the echolocation system for hunting in the dark. They eat mainly invertebrates and enjoy feasting on midges, mosquitoes, mayflies and small moths.

Sadly bat populations have dropped dramatically in the past 50 years and as a result both bats and their roosts are protected by law. But despite this protection, bat populations are still vulnerable to agricultural practices and species that like to roost in buildings have suffered due to renovation work and the treatment of timber.

Photograph: Hugh Clark

It’s the last week of the Fringe and the Brighton Festival celebrations.

Ahh. Have you had a good time? Have you dashed around from pillar to post seeing one fantabulous show after another, mixing genres, taking in a bit of improv, a sprinkling of mime and a large dollop of classic original stand-up? I bet you’ve even got your best and the worst of the fest, what floated your boat and what sank your battleship on the sea of entertainment. So have we.

On Monday – that’s the Bank Holiday Monday – the Latest Awards are being hosted by the excellent Jimmy Carr at the Udderbelly. The powers that be at Latest Towers have been deliberating and scrutinising and ordering pizza for non-stop chitter chatter about what they class as the absolute crème de la crème of the last month’s festivities. And they’ve come to their own conclusions. If you have a ticket or are working the show then it should be a great night, with snippets from the festival to keep all entertained. However, may I suggest that if that’s not the case, you mark the last night of the fest in your own inimitable style. Perhaps, over your own pizza-driven deliberating, you too may find you’d like to do your own awards show celebrating your Golden Globes and ultimate Razzies of the Brighton Festival.

PETS

“Bats hunt by echolocation – a sophisticated process involving the bat emitting high-frequency sound waves” At this time of year, Laura Bristow, wildlife information officer at Sussex Wildlife Trust, receives phone calls from concerned cat owners who either find injured bats outside in their gardens or who are presented with a bat by their pets. Her advice is to try to ensure your cat is safely inside about half an hour before dusk as it is at this time – when bats are leaving roosts – that they are most vulnerable.

The Sussex Bat Group and the Sussex Mammal Group are planning a survey this summer to assess bat populations in Brighton and are appealing for volunteers to help with this survey. If you are batty about bats and would like to help (full training will be given) please contact Cath Laing by email: cath.laing@talk21.com or telephone her on 01273 383833.

For further information about bats or what to do if you find an injured one, please call Laura on the WildCall information hotline: 01273 494777. Thanks to Sussex Wildlife Trust for helping me compile this column. For more information, please visit www.sussexwt.org.uk

Any comments for Marc email editorial@thelatest.co.uk

Individual Images for Individual People

catcher T i m R i c h a r d s o n Freelance Photographer 01273 881832 07977 140002 www.image-catcher.co.uk tim.richardson@image-catcher.co.uk 32a Carlisle Road, Hove, East Sussex BN3 4FS latest 7 13

014_LS322_udderbelly

5/16/07

4:04 PM

Page 2

UDDERBELLY

Till the cow goes home The last week of Udderbelly has rockin’ good news for all, and a recycled ticket stub for many

Saturday night’s dress code is ‘farming community’, in keeping with the cow/pasture theme of the Udderbelly. It’s the Village Disco courtesy of the VD boys. At time of writing, we still don’t know if that includes skittles, meat bingo and a tumble in the hay, but here’s hoping.

“But how can I gain access to this garden of delights?” I hear you cry. Why, with the simple stub of a festival ticket. Yes, like a magical second ticket, your stub allows you inside the Udderbelly for free. Yes, free, gratis, totally without charge! What else were you planning on doing with your ticket stub? Leaving it in your pocket to disintegrate in the washing machine and scatter itself through your wash? Sticking it carefully in your scrapbook? No! Release the power of the ticket stub, and use it for fun and laughs. Of course, if you don’t have a ticket stub for a festival show you will be reduced to grubbing through bins for someone else’s. Or you could retain your dignity and pay the £5 entrance fee.

Festival Club at the Udderbelly, 5–28 May, Sun–Wed 10.30pm– 12.30am, Thu–Sat 10.30pm–2am. Call 01273 709709 or see www.udderbelly.co.uk

Come, make haste, ‘tis the final week, the last hurrah of the festival, and thus your last chance to gambol in the pasture with the Udderbelly cow.

DJs Longerie and Stylus have been keeping the Udderbelly pumping with top tunes, plus their themed party nights – previous entertainments have seen a Can Can night, a Mexican Shakedown and even (yee-hah!) a good ole fashioned hoe-down. Get out your Brylcreem for this Thursday’s Rock‘n’Roll Night. The Double Six Club lay on dancers and get down to some good rockin’ beats from the 40s and 50s, get ready to swing, jive and rock‘n’roll your bobby socks off.

Friday nights are laid on by those grand purveyors of burlesque cabaret and darkly beguiling entertainment, Voodoo Vaudeville. Hosted by the master of the macabre, Chris Cresswell, Voodoo’s legendary mix of glamour, art and filth has become a big hit with crowds in Brighton, playing at Komedia and last year’s Spiegeltent. They’ve recently collaborated with Proud Gallery in Camden and the world-famous Torture Garden. Voodoo Vaudeville is an experience: expect to see everything from aerial acts, dance performance, gorilla striptease, contortionists, belly dance, plus live musicians on stage. With special guests, films from Junk TV, eccentric characters and spectacular walkabouts animating the space, this is a night of truly original and inventive entertainment. And it rounds off with a frantic mix of fabulous tunes from some of the hottest DJs around.

Inspirational matters Thought-provoking musical drama An astonishing new musical, This Way For The Gas, Ladies & Gentlemen, returns to Brighton’s Fringe Festival for five nights, from Tuesday 22 to Sunday 27 May (not including Thursday). Showing at the Udderbelly, this show is full of moving pieces like the title song, itself based on Tadeusz Borowski’s gallows-humour story about a day in the Auschwitz gas chambers.

The story is drawn from the tragic words of real people incarcerated in camps, including two Nobel Prize winners, Czeslaw Milosz and Elie Wiesel, and also great writers such as Paul Celan, Nina Cassian and Kevin Carey. The musical drama tells the four overlapping stories of the poet Borowski, the writer Micheline Maurel, Joan from Darfur, and the great artist Arnold Daghani, who later came to live in Hove, and most of whose work is stored at the University Of Sussex.

The extraordinary and epic score was composed by Bill Smith and Bim Sinclair of The Life And Death Orchestra, which also includes Eddie Myer from Turin Brakes and Hollywood film composer, Chris Page.

The score also includes a Fatboy Slim remix of a Real Sounds Of Africa tune.

In addition to The Life And Death Orchestra, the performance includes top local choir, The Rainbow Chorus, plus The Brighton Youth Orchestra, featuring the cream of Sussex’s young musicians. It is conducted by Dominic Nunns, of the Lost & Found Orchestra from Stomp (described

by The Times as the ‘great British hope for music conducting’).

The show stars great actors and singers, with Seth Morgan as Borowski, Guy Picot (Footballers’ Wives and Holby City writer) as Daghani, the beautiful Adele Zizi as Maria, amazing singers Jenny James as Nanino, Helen Webb as Joan, and Angi Mariani as Micheline Maurel.

Written by Micheline Maurel from behind the concentration camp wire at Ravensbruck, “Be Happy” is an example of the striking lyrics: 14 latest 7

Be happy, oh how happy You who die a death as normal as life In hospital beds or in your homes Be happy, all of you Millions of people envy you.

The writers spent two years getting permissions from the poets or their families, many of whom were survivors, to set the words to music. An extremely powerful piece.

This Way For The Gas, Ladies & Gentlemen is at Udderbelly, Old Steine, 22-27 May, 7pm, £10/£6. Call 01273 709709 or see www.udderbelly.co.uk

000_LS322 Caesar Twins FP

5/16/07

4:08 PM

Page 1

016_LS322_festival

5/18/07

9:41 AM

Page 2

BRIGHTONFESTIVAL

Simply splashing It’s back and it’s bigger than before!

There was a time when we all went ooh and aah at a few fireworks to mark the end of the festival. Well those days are well and truly gone and these days we all expect a whole lot more – which is why these days the producers of The Big Splash deliver exactly that.

It’s a fun event for the whole family and fun is certainly is the name of the day, or two days should we say. This year this popular free extravaganza is delighted to be featuring some spectacular international street performers from all corners of the globe.

Add to the mix a sensational artistic pyrotechnic display and a tidal wave of international street art and aqua-themed entertainment – it could only be The Big Splash. It’s a light-hearted, big-hearted, wet, wild and fiery way to say adieu to Brighton Festival 2007 and one we can all join in with.

Brighton Marina, Sunday 27 May, 1pm-dusk and Monday 28 May, 1pm-5pm, free

Sunday 27th May 2007

Monday 28th May 2007

Time 1.00-5.00pm

Act Workshops In The Octagon Face Painters Kidzone 1 Kidzone 2 Science & Magic The Makers

Time 1.00-5.00pm

Act Workshops In The Octagon Face Painters Kidzone 1 Kidzone 2 Science & Magic The Makers

1.00-8.30pm 1.00 1.30 2.00 2.30 3.00 3.30 4.00 4.30 5.00 5.30 6.00 6.30 7.00 7.30 8.00 8.30-10pm 8.30 9.15 9.45 10.03pm

Shows in Marina Square Dragon Heart Beats Elm Grove Samba Band Katraska Ledbouy – Dynamogen Panyata & Robbie Dream State Matzos Pixielated Dynamogen Katraska Ledbouy Dream State Upswing Matzo’s Matzo’s/Anton Evening Show Boardwalk Southern FM Dragon Heart Beats The Dragons Eye END

1.00-8.30pm 1.00 1.30

Shows in Marina Square Dragon Heart Beats Elm Grove Samba Band

2.00 2.30 3.00 3.30 4.00 4.30

Katraska Teatro Pachuco Dynamogene/Leighton Panyata & Robbie Katraska Dream State

5.00 5.00

Dragon Heart Beats FINALE ALL PERFORMERS WHERE POSSIBLE

16 latest 7

Walkabout & Boardwalk Shows Pixielated – Teatro Marionetas Cod Quoir – Robbie Teatro Marionetas – Picto Facto Marbles – Pixielated Marionetas – Cod Quoir Dynomegen – Marbles Teatro Marionetas – Picto Facto Cod Quoir – Upswing Marbles – Dave Teatro Marionetas – Robbie

Sponsored by

Walkabout & Boardwalk Shows Cod Quoir – Robbie – Teatro Marionetas Marbles – Pixielated Picto Facto Teatro Marionetas – Upswing Pixielated – Marbles Teatro Pachuco – Robbie – Dave Upswing – Teatro Marionetas – Marbles

With thanks to

East Breakwater/Harbour Positive Productions Flaming Fun & Fantastic Fireworks

Visit www.brightonfestival.org for more information about this and other events

017_LS32s_hanningtons

5/18/07

10:14 AM

Page 3

SHOPPING

We are being served Stylish shopping in The Hannington Quarter When Hanningtons finally closed its doors, the people of Brighton and Hove collectively shed a tear. It was the end of an era, the age of the grand old department store was dead, where else would we go for our haberdashery, our smart clothes and tasteful gifts?

A few years on and the truth is more than apparent – we go to what has become known as the Hanningtons Quarter, a collection of stylish boutiques and style emporiums that have shed that fusty and old-fashioned Are You Being Served? atmosphere in favour of a style of shopping that Brighton has long been famous for.

In an age where the mall strives to be king, Brighton champions the role of the smaller retailer and the more exclusive high street brands. Nowhere will you find such a good range of shopping opportunities and so many of them are gathered together on the site of the once-famous Hanningtons.

Starting in North Street, we are all familiar with The Pier and their own style of relaxed home furnishings. Their name is synonymous with affordable style, brilliant colour and eyecatching design, while their ever-changing range of homewares and furnishings remains a popular choice.

Lombok, too, are home stylists but in a far cooler and more esoteric vein. Their cool Eastern-influenced furnishings reflect an ever-present love of Oriental design, especially good here in Brighton, the spiritual home of Chinoisserie. But they also play a great role in today’s minimalist look with the clean-lined styling of much of their design, a look that works as well in a modern home as it will in a period property.

Staying with home design, it’s no great leap to home computing and at Solutions Inc the classic designs of Apple Macintosh can be found. Macs – as they are known – are the must-haves of home computers: sleek, discreet and easy to use. They are the designers’ choice for obvious reasons – because they are beautiful design icons in their own right but also because they are beautiful to use.

From Macs to lingerie is an easy step to take in the Hanningtons Quarter and at

Bravissimo they specialise in what they describe as beautiful lingerie, swimwear and clothing for ‘big boobed women’. Well, here at Latest 7 we might have been more discreet and said ‘Rubenesque’, or ‘fuller-figured’, but hey, if that’s what they do then who are we to dispute it? They offer a full fitting service on Saturdays, which can be pre-booked. Each appointment takes 20 minutes and I have it on good authority that properly fitted lingerie is a life-changing experience.

Fashion is well represented here too, in the form of a number of international brands – from the exclusive but also affordable shoes at Kurt Geiger, Dune and LK Bennett to the classic European look of Benetton. Sporty girls need look no further than She Active with their full range of exercise and leisure fashions and accessories. At Strawberry Bunny the store is packed with fashion essentials and great accessories from jewellery and bags to umbrellas and sunglasses. Buffalo have great casual looks for both men and women.

Indigo Roses have great collections this season from Casch Copenhagen, CCDK and Noli, with accessories by Modula, Sassy And Rose and Willow Organics. The look is soft, luxurious and definitely feminine. Ollie & Nic also have a strong feminine look with bags, umbrellas and sunglasses in fun prints and funky designs, but it’s not all for the girls and there are now new products exclusively for men too.

For those with an outdoor bent, Snow+Rock have an extensive range of clothing and accessories as well as specialist equipment.

From tents to snowboards, sunglasses to running gear and in ranges for grown-downs as well as grown-ups.

Jeweller Jan Warrington has carved a niche for himself in Brighton’s busy jewellery world and his exclusive and exquisite designs already have a large following locally and internationally.

So, is Hanningtons dead?

Well maybe, but that spirit of smart and exclusive retail lives on at the heart of Brighton’s busy shopping district.

Brighton Place

latest 7 17

018_LS322_Body&Soul

5/16/07

3:59 PM

Page 1

BODY&SOUL

Calming waters Discover the soothing benefits of colonic hydrotherapy at Body and Soul Body and Soul describes itself as a tranquil urban retreat. On their brochure is a quote from Heather Mills recommending their massages and facials. But has she tried their colonic hydrotherapy? I am used to inner cleansing, but this experience was going to be more of a physical nature than spiritual.

However I really did feel I was entering tranquillity – clean, crisp and calm, but also welcoming. When going for such a personal treatment it is important to feel faith in the environment.

Each room at Body and Soul is beautifully designed and utterly perfect, and all the staff are attentive and kind.

The client record is reassuringly very detailed. On a sofa surrounded with calming sights and sounds and smells, relaxation CDs sit next to natural beauty products. You can purchase anything that takes your fancy – including the furniture. Special monthly offers make trying new things soothing for the finances as well.

The owner, Julie Hoole, had just had a baby, so my treatment was with one of her colleagues. I was fully informed by the time we began. She talked me through the treatment and made sure I was comfortable and happy, as well as chatting about nutrition, health and wellbeing. We were in a small, cosy room and at no point did I feel exposed or vulnerable. It is a gentle and lengthy process which remarkably feels non-invasive. Water under very low pressure and controlled temperature is introduced into the colon. In combination with massage the water helps soften and detach faecal matter, which is piped away with the waste water (which you need not see).

Colonics enhance the spread of friendly bacteria in the bowel, is not habit forming, nor dangerous and can enhance muscle tone.

With the lifestyles and eating habits of our generation as they are, it is a welcome preventative and curative tool.

Body and Soul, 1 Hampton Place, Brighton BN1 3DA. Call 01273 245261 or see www.bodyandsoulspecialists.com

Yoga for peace of mind

with Jo Rowkins Postures, breathing and relaxation for a healthy, supple body and a calm, focused mind Hatha Yoga (Sivananda). All levels Tuesdays 8.00-9.30pm Cornerstone Community Centre, Church Rd, Hove £7 drop-in or £20 for 4 weeks Thursdays 10.00-11.15am Alive Gym, Castle St, Brighton £6 drop-in, £2 for gym members, pre-paid card also available

One-to-one tuition also available, or small private groups by arrangement

Call Jo on 07961 331787 Email: jorowkins@hotmail.com Summer offer: Present this ad and get a free class (Valid until end June)

18 latest 7

019_LS322_health listings

5/17/07

2:18 PM

Page 1

HEALTH

See more health tips at wavemagazine.co.uk

Top of the class

Health & fitness

Zara Friend takes a look at different health and fitness classes and their benefits

TUESDAY 22

When it comes to health and fitness, there is no diet and exercise regime to suit all.

Dragging yourself out of the house of an evening may be the last thing you feel like doing after a day at work, but it’s a lot easier with the support of those around you. Across Sussex, there are a variety of classes to choose from, so find one that suits you, make new friends and take a step towards a healthier and happier new you.

Which class is for me?

Choosing a class is the hard part, because finding one is easy. In Brighton and Hove, a number of classes take place each day in health and fitness centres and community halls. Forget the Saturday morning aerobics after a Friday night out (unless this time of the week suits you, of course!). Fitness classes run frequently throughout the week from early morning, lunchtimes and evenings. There is also an awareness that people have commitments and can’t necessarily make the same time each week, so rather than pay for six weeks/six months or a year-long membership, drop-in classes may suit you. The drop-in session is a growing trend and is convenient if you feel motivated to work out one day and not the next!

Meet new people Attending a fitness class makes you more likely to succeed in your goals, whether it’s to stay in shape, lose weight or just to lead a healthier lifestyle. At home there is no one to motivate you, and while joining a class with strangers can make you feel self-conscious at first, it’s important to remember that you are all in the same boat and are there for the same reason. Exercising with a friend is more fun than going at it alone, but if you do join a class, it won’t take long to meet new friends as you already have something in common.

Relaxing or intensive?

Overwhelmed by the number of classes around? Go by recommendations or seek advice from your GP on the best form of exercise to undertake.

Yoga and Pilates are ever-popular choices but even these take on various forms. Iyengar yoga focuses on skeletal alignment, stretching and balance, while Kundalini yoga is centred around the nervous system. Hatha yoga focuses on breathing, and Ashtanga yoga around movement. During pregnancy, yoga is often the best choice as it’s a gentle form of exercise based around wellbeing and staying in shape. Posture is improved and the back problems that are common with pregnancy can be prevented or eased with a yoga class. Post-natal yoga is a great way to get back in shape as the abdominal muscles are strengthened.

If you’re after a more intensive fitness class, then circuit training is a great way to increase energy levels. A class is usually packed into an hour, with around three minutes spent on each activity including jumping jacks, press-ups, lunges and running on the spot. It’s tough going but makes you feel great afterwards.

See our health and fitness listings for a variety of classes each week.

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Abs Blast With Martin.

Fitforall, 6pm, £3 Astanga Yoga Brighton Buddhist Centre, 12.45–2pm, & 6–7.30pm, £6/4 BE Pilates Mat Class Rehab/basic classes. 01273 273074 for info.

Back2Balance. 5.45–6.45pm, & 7–8pm, £45 for six weeks Boxing Class Drop-in. Cheetahs Boxing Gym. 7.30–9pm, £4 (also every Fri 7–8pm, Sat 12–1.30pm and Mon 6–7pm, all £4) Children’s Kung Fu Ages 7–11. Cornerstone Community Centre. 4–5pm, £4 Flamenco Dance Lower/Int. The Dance Station.

8.15–9.15pm, £8.50 Flamenco Dance Technique Contact Ana for more info. The Dance Station. 7–8.15pm, £8.50 Hypnotherapy Free consultations with Peter J Hassell: smoking, anxiety and other issues. 07884 213 599 Iyengar Yoga Brighton Buddhist Centre, 1–2.15pm,. £6/4 Kundalini Yoga Holistic Health Clinic, 6.30 –8pm, £6 drop-in, £20 for 4 Low Impact Aerobics Dean’s Leisure Centre. 8–9pm, £4 Tuesdays 7-9.30pm Lunchtime Oasis Meditation Brighton Buddhist Centre, 1.15–1.45pm, £3/2 Mindfulness-Based Life Change Info: Rory 07739 556438. Bodhi Garden, 7–9.30pm, £10

WEDNESDAY 23 Komaja Love Meditation Meditation, spiritual singing and talks at Komaja Centre, 7.30-9.30pm.

Morning Soto Zen Meditation Info: Jay & Heather 01273 682974. Bodhi Garden. 7.30–8.30am, Suggested donation: £5.

Open Meditation Evening Info: Richard 07796 331167.

Bodhi Garden, 7.30–9pm, suggested donation: £5.

Shaolin Tai Qi – Rou Quan St Mary Magdalen Centre, also same time Monday.

7.15pm–8.15pm, £8, (£25 for all four classes at the centre) Sivananda Yoga Beg/int.

Revitalise. Call Helen 07722 046865. 9.30–10.45am Yoga Drop-in with Jackie Coulson. Wendy Whatling School of Dance.

9.15–10.45am (also Thu 7.45–8.45pm) Yummymummys Fitforall, 10.30am, £4 Yoga With Joanne. Coral Health/ Fitness. 1.30pm, £3.50 Yoga (Scaravelli inspired) with Hayley North. The Acupuncture Clinic, 7.30–9pm, £8 drop-in/£35 for 5 classes

THURSDAY 24 BE Pilates Semi-Private Matwork Classes Carla for info: 01273 273 074. BE Pilates Studio, Westdene, 10.15am and 6.30pm, (also same time Mondays) £75 for six weeks.

Body Control Pilates Mixed & advanced classes. Holistic Health Centre, 8–9.15pm, £60 for 6 weeks Brighton Jamyang Group .

Info: Ian 07758 150722. Bodhi Garden, 7.30–9.30pm, suggested donation: £5.

Hatha Fusion Yoga The Acupuncture Clinic, 9.30–10.30am, £6

Hatha Yoga Patcham Comm Centre. 07986 850029.

9.45–11.15am, £6 Hip Hop/R’n’B Dance Class Peacehaven Leisure Centre.

8pm drop in, £4.30 Polestars Beginners course starts today (2 hours for six weeks). Circus Circus, Brighton. For more info contact www.polestars.net or call 0207 2744865. 7–9pm

FRIDAY 25 Tai Chi Peacehaven Leisure Centre. 7.30pm drop in, £4.30 Vajrasati Yoga Brighton Buddhist Centre, 6–7.30pm, £6/4 ViniYoga The Acupuncture Clinic, 9.30–10.30am, £7 dropin/£35 for 6 Yoga And Meditation Brighton Buddhist Centre, 10–11.30am, £6/£4 Yogalates Coral Health & Fitness, 6.30pm, £3.50

SATURDAY 26 BE Pilates Mat Class Beg/Improvers. 01273 273074 for info. Coast Chiropractic.

10–11am & 11am–12pm, £45 for six weeks Coretastic! With James.

Fitforall, 10am, £4 Children’s Ki & Aikido For ages 4–7. Brighton Ki Centre, call Bob for info: 01273 323315. 9–9.45am, £2.50 Dynamic Flow Yoga With Tara and Niki. The Acupuncture Clinic, 11.15am–12.45pm, £8 Hatha Yoga (Scaravelli) 90minute class. Coral Health and Fitness,12pm, £4.50 Indoor Cycling Coral Health & Fitness, 9am & 10.15am £3.50

SUNDAY 27 Adult Tap Wendy Whatling.Beg: 7–8pm and intermediate 8–9pm Aquarobics King Alfred.

10.30am–11.15am, £4.10 Hangover Spin Fitforall, 10am, £4 Legs, Bums and Tums Coral Health & Fitness, 10.15am, £3.50 Women’s Yoga The Acupuncture Clinic, 11am–12.15pm, £40 for six

MONDAY 28 Chen Tai Chi All levels, Davigdor School. 6–7pm, £7.

Info: 07799 097776 Legs, Bums And Tums Deans Leisure Centre. £4, 5.30–6.30pm and 6.30–7.30pm Morning Meditation Info: Alan 07966 046524. Bodhi Garden, 7.30–8.30am Post/Ante Natal Pilates Babies welcome. The Acupuncture Clinic. Pre-book w/ penny on 07904 472605, 12.30–1.30pm, £60 for 6 wks Scaravelli Inspired Yoga With Peta Trousdell at Unit 4.

Call 01273 846722 for more info. 10–11.30am Scaravelli Yoga The Acupuncture Clinic, 9.30–11am, £7 Shaolin Kung Fu All levels, Davigdor School. 7–8pm, £7 Tai Chi Chuan Class More info: 07900 193230. All Saints Church Hall, 8pm, £5 Unguided Meditation Info: Alan 07966 046524.

Bodhi Garden, 6–7pm, Suggested donation: £5.

Vajrasati Yoga All levels, Brighton Buddhist Centre, 1–2.15pm, £6/4 Women’s Yoga (Scaravelli) The Acupuncture Clinic.

6.30–8pm, £9 drop-in,£32 for 4 Yoga (Scaravelli) All levels.

Revitalise, 9.30–10.30am, £35 for 6/£7 drop-in

DIRECTORY The Acupuncture Clinic 143 Portland Road, Hove 01273 722422 All Saints Church Hall Eaton Road, Hove Ian Kendall: 07900 193230 www.ik-taichi.com Anahata Health Clinic 119–120 Edward Street, Kemp Town, 01273 698687 Back2Balance 35 Goldstone Villas, Hove 01273 206 868 BE Pilates Studio 121 Eldred Ave, Westdene Carla: 01273 273074 Bodhi Garden Centre 7 Ship St Gardens, Brighton Call Richard 07796 331167 Brighthelm Community Centre North Road, Brighton Brighton Buddhist Centre 17 Tichborne Street, Brighton 01273 772090 Brighton Ki Centre 12 Queens Square, Brighton Barry: 07854 389606 Brighton Natural Health Centre Regent Street, Brighton 01273 600010 Brighton Reiki Centre Viaduct Road, Brighton 07968 982136 Cheetahs Boxing Gym Next King Alfred Centre, Kings Way, Hove. 01273 206644 Coast Chiropractic 198 Church Road, Hove, 01273 321144 Coral Health And Fitness Orchard Road, Hove 01273 731262 Cornerstone Community Centre Church Road, Hove The Dance Station Unit 4, 57 North Street, Portslade. 01273 419977 Davigdor Infants School Somerhill Road, Hove Bernie: 07799 097776 Dean’s Leisure Centre Longhill School Karen: 01273 305827 The Dharma School Ladies Mile Road, Patcham Diamond Way Buddhist Centre Montpelier Road, Brighton Ingrid: 07736 061108 Dorothy Stringer Sports Complex Loder Road, B’tn.

Info on 07895 066321.

Fitforall Unit 1, Portland Road Trading Estate, Hove, 01273 415515 Holistic Health Clinic 53 Beaconsfield Rd, Brighton 01273 696295 Johnson Page Healthcare Chiropractic & Medical Acupuncture, 15 Ship Street 01273 724777 King Alfred Leisure Centre Kingsway, Hove, 01273 290290 Komaja Centre 21a Upper Market Street, Hove. Cela: 01273 771472 Leach Court Eastern Road, Brighton.

Ian Kendall: 07900 193230 More Bar/Restaurant 98 Trafalgar Street, Brighton 07717 584738 Patcham Community Centre Ladies Mile Road, Patcham Peacehaven Leisure Centre Greenwich Way, Peacehaven, East Sussex 01273 588858 Revitalise (Planet Janet) 86 Church Road, Hove 01273 738389 St Mary Magdalen Community Centre 55 Upper North St, Brighton, 01273 676992 Unit 4 20–26 Roundhill St, Brighton Wendy Whatling School of Dance Unit 11a Dyke Road Mews, Brighton. wendywhat ling@btconnect.com

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SUSSEX FOOD&DRINK

Miles better, miles less Sussex food producers lead the way, with delicious delights from close to home The key words for all foodies are fresh, seasonal and local – OK, you can throw in organic and free range too. It’s what true food lovers are now striving for, an awareness of where and how our produce is grown and reared. And here in Sussex, food producers, restaurants and retailers are at the forefront of that battle against mass production, fast food and convenience foods. It’s a concentrated campaign that in many ways heralds a change in the way national brands approach food, but hats off to those smaller local companies that have spearheaded the campaign.

It’s not all been easy. Take Chilli Pepper Pete for instance – who would have thought that Sussex could produce a wide variety of chilli peppers for gourmands and lovers of fiery foods, but they do, and each year with greater success and a wider range of fresh chillis and chilli-based products. Woodies are a similar success story. Starting small and making excellent pickles, sauces and chutneys that they sold mainly through farmers markets, they are now supplying major retail chains with their delicious products. My favourite is a beetroot and chilli relish.

Cocoa Loco again have striven to produce excellent quality organic chocolate products and that perseverance is paying off with great acclaim in their tasty goods, from spicy chilli choc to luxurious chocolate cookies.

“Who would have thought that Sussex could produce a variety of chilli peppers?”

Russell’s Sussex Farm Goods Store and Deli in Poets Corner does what we all want to do and that is bring a bit of the country into the city.

For those of us who choose not to drive a car this is a great option, a local food shop with a conscience. It’s a similar story at Sussex and the City in the heart of the Lanes, where the shop is brim-full of local foods, wines and beers, all of which are sourced from within a 50-mile radius of the city centre but most of which come from far nearer.

Fresh, local and seasonal may once have seemed a pipe dream, but for a hard-working core of specialists it’s a dream that they are fast making a reality.

Jethro’s Marinades What a scorcher!

We Brits do better on the barbecue these days than the scary pinkcentred sausage of death or the incinerated chicken wing. We approach the embers with style and panache, deliciously marinated food in hand, well-dressed salads waiting on the side.

But what if you don’t have masses of time to prepare the epicure’s dream? Don’t worry, help is at hand!

Jethro’s is a fabulous local food company producing everything you need for the summer. Based in Hove, it turns out a range of completely original and natural marinades, sauces, dips and dressings. It’s been around for nearly 15 years, so we could be preaching to the converted, but if not, you need to get informed.

You can find a wide range in Sensational Foods, Taj and Sussex and the City, but there’s also a great mail-order service if you’re too lazy to even go to the shops, or you decide your best friend in Bristol needs to try some.

Jethro’s Marinades, 7 East Street, Portslade. Call 01273 417405 or see www.jethros.co.uk

Cocoa Loco From the heart of Sussex, Cocoa Loco lovingly handmakes organic chocolate products for all occasions.

It is the newly crowned ‘Sussex Food Producer of the Year 2006/7’ and has quickly become a much sought-out chocolate treat.

Launched in 2005, from predominately being a creator of chocolate brownies (albeit chilli, coconut, gluten free and orange to name but a few), it has spread its wings to embrace chocolate in a number of classic and ingenious concoctions… from dark-chocolate cookies to hazelnut and orange chocolate truffles.

Cocoa Loco is committed to high ethical standards, its chocolate is fairly traded and its packaging is recyclable and compostable. It sells a range of gifts via the internet, and chocolate treats can also be found at selected retailers. To bring a smile to someone’s face, why not spread some chocolate love by sending a gift?

Cocoa Loco, 1 Maple Cottage, High Street, Partridge Green, West Sussex. Call 01403 713130 or see www.cocoaloco.co.uk

Woody’s Homemade Food In the Bible, Paul had one of those moments on the way to Damascus – you know, a bolt of lightning, gust of wind, then his life was changed for evermore. A similar moment came for the owners of Woody’s (thankfully with no gust of wind) at The Greenhouse restaurant run by chef Garry Rhodes. They ordered smoked mackerel with piccalilli. What arrived was an excellent portion of mackerel – but the piccalilli was out of this world. The only piccalilli they had eaten up to that point was the mass-produced version.

This normally consists of some kind of mush, a couple of whole pickled onions and several lumps of cauliflower, the whole lot covered in a bright yellow gloop which has the look of a by-product from Chernobyl and a similar taste. Garry Rhodes’ piccalilli was nothing like that. It was smooth and crunchy with small particles of identifiable vegetable. The sauce was slightly mustardy but very mellow. They managed to buy a jar of the piccalilli from the restaurant and, from that moment on set out on a mission to make edible pickles and chutneys for the world.

Since then, Woody’s have gone on to produce a range of awardwinning mustards, relishes and ketchups.

Woody’s mustards, relishes and sauces are available from Sussex and the City and most other good food shops in the area. They are always at Shoreham Farmers’ Market on the second Saturday of the month.

Woody’s Homemade Food, Shoreham-by-Sea. Call 01273 702800, write to woodys.homemade@ntlworld.com or see www.woodyshomemade.com latest 7 21

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SUSSEX FOOD&DRINK

Russell’s Sussex Farm Goods Store and Deli

Sussex and the City

Tucked away in the back streets of Poets Corner, Russell’s Sussex Farm Goods Store and Deli celebrates three years of bringing local and organic produce to an everexpanding band of loyal customers. Opened in May 2004 by Glaswegian Russell Irvine, the shop was described

by The Observer as ‘a temple to local food’. Like many others, Russell realised the way forward was sourcing locally long before the term ‘food miles’ became the hip soundbite it is today. He says: “To me it makes sense on so many fronts. It’s environmentally beneficial, economically it supports local farmer and producers and creatively awakens people to the brilliant variety of produce available in Sussex, it’s pretty obvious really.”

A trip to the local supermarket (the dreaded T-word) confirms that it’s not the quantity but the quality of choice that matters. Amongst the produce available in his shop, Russell sells locally smoked meats and fish, organic cheese, fresh breads, local dairy ice-cream, organic apple juices and weekly organic veg boxes supplied by Ashurst Organic Farm in Plumpton. Russell says: “The organic veg boxes represent the epitome of the whole thing, great quality local veg grown by really nice people just doing what they do.” So before the supermarkets buy out every farmer and producer in Sussex, pop in to Russell’s, have a coffee, grab a sandwich, buy some local produce and have a nice day!

Russell’s Sussex Farm Goods Store & Deli, 40 Wordsworth Street, Hove. Call 01273 776789 or see www.russellsdeli.co.uk

This part of May is always an eventful time in Brighton and Hove. The festival is reaching its climax, the summer starts here and the Lady Boys go home.

At Sussex and the City, winner of Sussex Best Food Shop 06/07 at the Sussex food awards, they will be celebrating a lot too.They will host their first birthday party on 24 May at the shop, between 3pm and 8pm, and all are welcome.

Also on 24 and 25 May they will be offering 20 per cent discount to everyone who spends more than £10.

English wine week starts on 26 May. Not that you should need an excuse to try the excellent local wines in stock. Prices start at £5.95 a bottle and you get a 10 per cent discount when you buy six bottles.

Whether it is award-winning sparkling wines from Ridgeview in Ditchling, or a glass of English Rosé from Chapel Down, the taste of summer is here.

The company is also offering free delivery in BN1, BN2 and BN3 on all purchases from its new website. Whatever you are celebrating, Sussex and the City has something for you.

Sussex and The City, 12c Meeting House Lane, Brighton. Call 07815 467465 or see www.sussexandthecity.co.uk

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The Blue Man North African Restaurant 11 Little East Street, Brighton (On former site of Momma Cherri’s)

01273 325529 Due to the success of our original restaurant we have now moved to the Lanes!

Serving up a selection of traditional full flavoured North African cuisine.

The Blue Man is now a fully licensed venue offering a wide range of North African, French & Spanish wine & beer Separate banquet room perfect for parties

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ANDREW KAY’S FOOD&DRINK

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Sheep may safely graze Andrew Kay has his faith restored in the Ram Inn at Firle Ah, the joys of Sussex in May. Or not as it happens. No sooner had the Brighton Festival started when the freakish hot spell abated and we descended into a week of wind and drizzle. Of course, I shouldn’t complain as the gardens and fields are now all a lush green, as is my drive, where poppies are breaking through the fine layer of badly laid concrete.

The festival always starts with a great concert at Glyndebourne.

Over the years I have enjoyed some extraordinary performances there from some of the world’s greatest musicians, and this year was to be no exception.

But where to lunch first? With a 3pm start there was time to have a nice Sunday lunch in a country pub. Logistically, however, I needed to collect my companion for the day from sunny Seaford and then take a bit of a dog’s leg turn, inland to Glynde.

The obvious choice was the Ram at Firle. An old favourite and haunt of my early days in Sussex when we would go to regular folk evenings and listen to great local musicians and storytellers, some of whom must no longer be with us.

A year or so ago I went there with friends for dinner. It had been recommended by friends who we trust, so off we hopped. Sadly it didn’t quite cut the mustard and there were too many faults with the whole experience. I gave it a poor review on these very pages.

Still, it was some while ago so I decided that enough time had passed for me to return and give it a second chance. It was, after all, ideally located for my musical outing. I called to book and was told that they had two sittings – 12 noon and 2.30pm – not ideal, but manageable.

Before long the roast arrived. The meat was good and there was more than enough of it. The vegetables were good too, as was the Yorkshire pud. The weakest link were the roast potatoes: tasty but not crisp. The parsnips, however, were crisp and the mashed carrot was packed with flavour. I rather wish that the gravy had come separately, as I like my gravy on the vegetables and not on the meat – old habits die hard. But it’s a small complaint for what I reckoned to be a great Sunday lunch and with a bill of around £42 for the two of us, including the bottle of wine, not an expensive one. The Ram has retained all its country charm – it looks and behaves like a pub – so hats off to them for achieving that. My faith has been restored.

The Ram Inn, Firle, Nr Lewes, East Sussex. Call 01273 858222

Passionate about property, fanatical about food 59 Church Road, Hove 01273 735237 www.callaways.co.uk

“How could we resist asparagus with salad leaves, parmesan shavings and hollandaise?”

We arrived bang on time and the place was pretty empty, not a bad thing I might add as by being early we were at the head of the queue in the kitchen on a list that was to rapidly expand.

Before long, the place was buzzing with custom and the gaggle of waiting staff who had been clustered at the bar were in full flow.

Drinks, it turned out, had to be ordered at the bar but food at the table, odd but not a problem. We had both spent most of the journey extolling the virtues of a light lunch before a concert, a plan that soon derailed when we read the menu. How could we resist asparagus with salad leaves, parmesan shavings and hollandaise – as a starter? We both decided we could not, and followed it with the roast beef. I liked the fact that there was one choice of roast plus a nut roast. It means that the kitchen is concentrating and that there is a good chance of getting beef gravy and not meat gravy.

At the bar I asked for two large glasses of Malbec, but quickly decided that for a few pounds more a bottle was better value. Always worth looking at that as an option. I have in the past ended up spending more on repeated individual glasses than the bottle price. It was good red too, nice and sturdy with an old world flavour for a new world wine.

The asparagus arrived and not only did it look good, it tasted good too. The spears where served in a healthy portion, piled on to nice salad leaves. There was plenty of cheese too, and the shavings were delicate rather than great big potato peeling-sized shards which would have overpowered the asparagus and the sauce. The hollandaise was good: warm, creamy and in just the right quantity. I was impressed, this was a good seasonal dish – well balanced, well seasoned and well put together. We cleared our plates – so much for a light lunch.

New Exciting Menus Dinner Menu (3 course) £25.00 Sunday to Thursday 6pm till close ~~~~~

Lunch Menu (2 course) £11.95 Sunday to Friday 12pm to 5pm Or choose from our à la Carte menu ~~~~~ Please visit our web site to view menus

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FOOD & DRINK

latest hot

LIST RESTAURANTS & BARS

The Gourmet Fish & Chip Company The Gourmet Fish and Chip Company at Brighton Marina has taken the dish into the 21st century. Diners can enjoy fantastic top-grade fish and chips in a trendy diner environment and even enjoy a beer while they wait for their takeaway order. Check out the gourmet fish platter and lunch-time specials. The restaurant is located on the ground-floor level of the waterfront and is open seven days a week. Fully licensed.

The Walk of Fame, 18 Waterfront, Brighton Marina, 01273 670701 www.gourmetfishandchipcompany.com

New Steine Bistro

RESTAURANTS BRITISH AND MODERN EUROPEAN Bardsley’s Probably Brighton’s most popular fish and chip shop and restaurant with a large loyal clientele. Totally traditional and family-run with all your favourites, but also an excellent blackboard of daily fish specials.

They’re open for lunch and dinner Tuesday to Saturday and it’s also a great party venue. There are massive fish platters and good seasonal seafood. Fish can be fried, grilled or poached, plus vegetarian choices.

22–23a Baker Street, Brighton, 01273 681256

Blanch House The restaurant at Blanch House is an inhouse affair. All involved are dedicated to excellence in food, service and wines but with no pretensions. You can sit back and take pleasure in the relaxed atmosphere of dinner at your best friend’s house while enjoying innovative food, attentive and personal service, and superb wine and cocktail lists. The menu changes with the seasons and availability to ensure that only the freshest high-quality produce is used.

Meat, dairy products and other ingredients are locally sourced and organic where possible. Fish is from the local day boats when available.

17 Atlingworth Street, Brighton, 01273 603504, www.blanchhouse.co.uk

Café Belge

Cosy French bistro with regular art exhibitions creating the perfect setting for the appreciation of traditional homemade French cuisine either with friends or for a romantic night out. A hidden gem in the heart of Kemp Town, and very reasonable too! With its daily evening menu at £10.50 weekdays and £14.50 Friday and Saturday.

A la carte menu Tuesday to Saturday 6pm to 10pm for last orders. Available for all celebrations and party bookings with tailormade menu to your needs including live entertainment.

12a New Steine, Brighton, 01273 681546 reservation@newsteinehotel.com www.newsteinehotel.com

Polar Bar East The Polar East is pleased to introduce the new spring/summer menu. Freshly cooked British and European food using locally sourced produce. Great local atmosphere.

Beer garden with barbecue. Main meals from £3. All meat is supplied by Brampton's Premium Butchers.

8 St George’s Road, Kemp Town, Brighton, 01273 683334

Ruby Tate’s Situated at the heart of cosmopolitan Kemp Town, Ruby Tate’s oyster and champagne bar really is the pearl of Brighton. From moules marinière to lobster Thermidor, this is a paradise for seafood lovers. The restaurant’s stylish décor and trademark friendly service ensure that diners enjoy the gourmet food and fine champagne in a relaxed, informal atmosphere.

40 St James’s Street, Brighton, 01273 693251

Sevendials Restaurant

Café Belge offers award-winning food (Café Belge Eastbourne received a gold star for food from the prestigious Harden’s Guide 2006) – 50 ways to eat a fresh mussel, salmon fishcakes, award-winning 12” wild boar and beer sausage, fresh sea bass, steak Béarnaise, Toblerone fondue, Belgian waffles – just to give you an insight into what to expect. They also stock more than 100 beers all served in their own glasses, from light and delicious fruit beers to Trapist Monk beers to Belgian Guinness as well as a fine wine list.

64 Kings Rd (corner of West St & seafront), 01273 733290, www.cafebelge.co.uk

A smart restaurant in so many ways, excellent food and a sensible variety of menus in chic surroundings. Chef Sam runs a team of food-lovers who deliver time after time, from a simple lunch to a full à la carte dinner. Cooking reflects the seasons rather than fashion, and quality is paramount, with great locally caught fish, game in season and desserts that are a delight plus a wine list that is full of treats without being expensive too. Make the most of the terrace while the weather is warm or the private dining room for a treat.

1 Buckingham Place, Brighton, 01273 885555, www.sevendialsrestaurant.co.uk

The Coach House

The Terraces Bar, Grill and Dining Room

Friendly restaurant bar in the city centre serving an excellent range of hearty homecooked food, separate evening and lunch menus, and always a selection of roasts on Sunday. Great mussels, steaks, soups and a good wine list. In the winter a central open fire roars, in summer people soak up the late sun on the pretty terrace. The warm atmosphere and good value pricing make this a popular local haunt.

59 Middle Street, Brighton, 01273 719000 www.coachhousebrighton.com

Terraces bar and grill offers customers a relaxed approach to drinking, eating and hospitality. The lower level is available for private parties, wedding receptions, corporate events, Christmas parties, formal dinners or product launches. Whatever you want, you can be sure of an experience as consistently satisfying as the breathtaking views across Brighton seafront.

Madeira Drive, Brighton, 01273 570526, www.the-terraces.co.uk

CROATIAN AND BOSNIAN Kaskada Kaskada brings the traditions of the Mediterranean to the UK. The first Croatian and Bosnian brasserie in Brighton, Kaskada promises professional friendly service, a warm cosy environment and honestly priced, well presented organic meals made completely from scratch – even the chips! Whether you are looking for a quick convenient bite, an impressive organised event or even a romantic evening, trust the creativity and excellence of the dishes or the warmth and friendliness of the surroundings, dining at Kaskada is a delightful experience.

Brighton’s best-kept secret. Open Sunday to Thursday 11am-midnight, and Friday to Saturday 11am-1am.

35 Queens Road, Brighton, 01273 321320

GREEK Symposio Greek Taverna In a city with very few Greek eateries it’s great to find somewhere warm and inviting to indulge in some Greek food. From magnificent mezze to classic grilled meats, Symposio has a great taverna atmosphere and the lively style of the venue adds a great ambience to what can be a terrific party venue. Also fabulous for a romantic dinner, family outing or business meal. The moussaka is a must and also the deep red wine-soaked sausages and crisp calamari.

121 Western Road, Hove 01273 779474 www.ipanemarestaurants.com

INDIAN Nooris Indian Cuisine One of Brighton’s longest-standing Indian restaurants and justifiably so. Smart service and a menu that, as well as offering all our favourite dishes, has some interesting and unusual dishes on offer.

Great central location just off the seafront.

Portions are on the very generous side so order carefully. We have always been particularly impressed by the vegetarian menu, especially the malai kupta. Excellent breads and side dishes too. £6.95 for a twocourse meal and £11.95 for a three-course meal with wine.

70 Ship Street, Brighton 01273 329405

ITALIAN Donatello The flagship venue of this local family-run business serving excellent-value Italian food in stylish and spotless surroundings. It is popular with locals in the week but at the weekend it draws an audience from London. There are brilliant-value meal deals on blackboards outside – two courses £6.95, three £8.95 – as well as à la carte. The haunt of celebs in season from soap stars to politicos. Fun, friendly and fabulous value.

Brighton Place, Brighton, 01273 775477, www.donatello.co.uk

Fat Leo Supposedly the budget branch of the Donatello stable but you’d be hard-pressed to see why. Once again, quality family dining in the Italian mould but a little less expensive. Very popular with students and families with young children, Fat Leo has trendy interiors, including the toilets, and a menu that is utterly affordable with the company’s signature set-price boards proclaiming any two courses £5.95, any three courses £7.95.

16–17 Market Street, Brighton, 01273 325135

LATIN AMERICAN Las Iguanas Brazilian cooking has come to town and with it all the fun of the caipirinha. Spicy, fun and inexpensive, this Latin newcomer is already proving popular, especially the two-for-one cocktail deals and an excellent £7 two-course lunch menu. Whacky interiors and a cool cocktail bar give the place a carnival feel all the time and the staff are friendly and fun too. If you don’t know what cachaca is, then it’s time to find out.

7–8 Jubilee Street, Brighton, 01273 573550, www.iguanas.co.uk

SOUTH EAST ASIAN Bali Brasserie Located in a 1960s mansion block, this very popular Indonesian-Malaysian restaurant has a rijsttafel buffet dining menu at £16.95 with a wide and generous range of dishes that are constantly replenished. There is also an à la carte menu. Nice original retro décor, bamboo and cane, pink and gilt, with lots of oriental puppets, jazz playing and a friendly atmosphere. Very Simon Templar.

Kingsway Court, First Avenue, Hove, 01273 323810, 12-2pm, 6.30-10.30pm (till 11pm Friday and Saturday)

Blanch House

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This large upper room is home to great and authentic Spanish cooking. Tapas has been trendy for years but here the emphasis is on real Iberian food. Favourites include sweet slices of octopus on boiled potato slices dressed with olive oil, lovely ensalad Russe and great jamon Serrano. Informal and friendly, this is a great place for a romantic dinner, family outing, business meal or party.

123 Western Road, Hove 01273 779474 www.ipanemarestaurants.com

THAI Chokdee Possibly the first of its kind, this premium take-away offers fantastic-quality Thai food to your door if you use the home-delivery service or to take away if you are passing.

You can eat in too, as there is a stylish dining area. Counter service does away with additional service charges, so you can enjoy Thai food as often as you like without the fuss. At Chokdee it’s the food that’s the thing. Foodies – start the queue!

98 Goldstone Villas, Hove, 01273 720370, open every day (12pm–3pm and 5pm–11pm)

Sawadee The Thai restaurant that people love, for parties and celebrations, and because they always give the best of times. And why not; this well-priced restaurant pleases repeatedly with dishes we have all grown to love, and some new ones too. We were impressed by the use of authentic ingredients, such as pea aubergines where others use peas. Lots of fish dishes too with bass and pomfret and a great sliced beef salad.

87 St James’s Street, Brighton, 01273 624233, www.sawadeethai.co.uk

VEGETARIAN Revitalise (formerly Planet Janet) This popular and stylish Hove café restaurant offers delicious healthy hot and cold food in combination with being an excellent centre for therapies, treatments and classes. Healthy breakfasts, chunky sandwiches, soups, main meals, jacket potatoes and salads form the core of the menu. Freshly pressed fruit and vegetable juices in delicious revitalising combos, delicious fair-trade teas and coffee, vegan and gluten-free options. Open seven days a week, families welcome. You can eat for less than a fiver!

86 Church Road, Hove, 01273 738389, www.revitalise-u.com

BARS & PUBS The Bell This friendly, traditional pub reopened its doors at the end of last year after having undergone extensive refurbishment and is now under new ownership. Tucked away off Blatchington Road, it already has a name for itself for its great value food, freshly made every day from locally sourced products, including fantastic roasts on Sundays. The pub is child friendly and there’s often something extra going on, from quiz nights to live music. There’s also a function room available to hire and happy hours every Monday to Friday from 4-7pm.

15-17 Belfast Street, Hove, 01273 770773

Anness Publishing Ltd 2007

SPANISH La Tapa De Oro

Blanch House The award-winning cocktail bar is located on the ground floor of the five-storey building and offers an eclectic range of superbly made cocktails. The owner, Chris Edwardes, has managed many renowned bars, restaurants and clubs in London, including the Groucho Club, The Pharmacy, as well as opening the Jazz Café, The Atlantic, and the Ge Club for Conran. His cocktail skills have been described as ’legendary’ by those in the know and with over 30 years’ experience in the industry it was only a matter of time before he opened his own quality venue.

17 Atlingworth Street, Brighton, 01273 603504, www.blanchhouse.co.uk

The Eagle Great atmosphere, warm welcome, good beer and above all, great food from this gastropub. Hearty, modern food inspired by global cuisine and sensibly priced – you won’t go home hungry or broke. Right in the heart of the North Laine, an excellent place for lunch or dinner. Voted Latest 7 Pub Of The Year.

125 Gloucester Road, Brighton, 01273 607765

GinGin Sophisticated cocktail chic at this stylish St James’s Street bar. Try one of the head barman’s innovative cocktails using unusual mixes and fresh herbs. Cool interiors and a warm and friendly atmosphere which, for once in a city that worships youth, is not ageist.

St James’s Street, Kemp Town, Brighton, 01273 671119

The Hop Poles Great central pub with off-the-wall décor and a loyal clientele of the city’s fashionable best. A fantastic menu of wellpriced food means it gets very busy and seats are at a premium, even in winter on the heated terrace, so get there early.

Excellent free-range meat is specially sourced, while vegetarians are well catered for too.

13 Middle Street, Brighton, 01273 710444

Koba Koba hosts a happy hour between 5pm and 7pm all week. Three bars over three floors with a dedicated team of mixologists. This venue stands as a flagship of quality in Brighton and has been nominated in the top ten bars/clubs in the UK by The Independent. Good beers, a sensible wine list and, of course, champagne for those special occasions or just the sheer love of it. The perfect venue for a private party or an atmospheric night out. Live music on Thursdays, DJs on the weekend. For free K-list membership go to the website.

135 Western Road, Brighton, 01273 720059, www.kobauk.com

Preston Park Tavern This stunning new gastro-pub is situated on Havelock Road in Fiveways. Fresh, locally sourced food is served seven days a week from the open-plan kitchen. A separate children’s menu is available in this totally non-smoking venue. It boasts a great range of real ales and lagers as well as a 17 bin wine list, all served by the glass or bottle.

88 Havelock Road, Brighton, 01273 542271

What’s cooking this week?

The Low Fat Mediterranean Diet Consultant editor: Anne Sheasby Planning a Mediterranean holiday this coming summer? Even if you’re staying in rainy old Britain with the hope of seeing the hottest summer on record, a copy of this new recipe book should be added to your collection.

This brings the Mediterranean dining experience to your own home, the only down side is having to cook it yourself, rather than leaving it in the hands of a capable chef in a restaurant abroad.

The up side? Mediterranean cooking is made easy with 110 delicious, healthy and varied recipes. An introduction looks at fats in our diet, with advice on what to cut down on and fat-free cooking methods.

This section is followed by a guide to vegetables, fruit, fish and meat, including those available in the UK but traditionally found in Mediterranean dishes bursting with exotic flavours (okra, figs, clams and polenta).

This is a book packed with meal ideas, including desserts and breads such as the yogurt cake with pistachio nuts or the pane toscano. Discover Mediterranean cooking and eat and live well. Just like the Spanish.

Zara Friend

Okra and tomato tagine Ingredients 320g/12oz small okra 5–6 tomatoes 2 small onions 2 garlic cloves, crushed 1 fresh green chilli, seeded 5ml/1tsp paprika

A small handful of fresh coriander (cilantro) leaves 15ml/1tbsp olive oil Juice of 1 lemon 120ml/4fl oz water Serves 4

1 Preheat the oven to 190°C/325°F/Gas 5. Trim the okra, then cut the pods into 1cm/1⁄2in lengths. Set aside.

2 Skin the tomatoes, remove the seeds, then roughly chop the flesh.

Set aside. Chop one of the onions, place in a food processor with the garlic, chilli, paprika, coriander and 60ml/4tbsp water. Blend to a paste.

3 Slice the second onion. Heat the oil in a flameproof casserole and sauté the onion for 5–6 minutes, or until it turns golden brown.

Transfer 20ml/2tbsp sautéed onions to a plate and set aside.

4 Reduce the heat and pour the onion and coriander paste over the sautéed onions. Cook for 1–2 minutes, stirring frequently, then add the okra, tomatoes and lemon juice. Pour in the water and stir well to mix. Cover tightly and transfer to the oven. Bake for about 15 minutes, until the okra is tender.

5 Transfer the tagine to a serving dish, sprinkle with the reserved sautéed onion rings and serve immediately.

Variation: Canned, chopped tomatoes can be used instead of fresh tomatoes in this recipe – simply add the contents of a 200g/7oz can with the okra in step 4.

The Low Fat Mediterranean Diet is published by Southwater Books, priced £9.99, ISBN-978-1-84476-343-6

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FILM www.odeon.co.uk

0871 224 4007 Tuesday 22

Thursday 24

28 WEEKS LATER (18) 1.00, 3.30, 6.00, 8.30 ALPHA DOG (15) 3.15, 8.40 BRIDGE TO TERABITHIA (PG) 1.00, 3.30 FRACTURE (15) 5.50 MAGICIANS (15) 12.15, 2.30, 4.45, 7.00, 9.15 SPIDER-MAN 3 (12A) 12.30, 1.30, 2.30, 4.00, 5.00, 6.00, 7.30, 8.30, 9.15 SUNSHINE (15) 12.15, 6.10 ZODIAC (15) 12.30, 4.30, 8.30 DIRECTOR’S CHAIR: FLAGS OF OUR FATHERS (15) 8.30

28 WEEKS LATER (18) 1.00, 3.30, 6.00, 8.30 MAGICIANS (15) 12.15, 2.30, 4.45, 7.00, 9.15 PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: AT WORLD’S END (12A) 10.00, 11.00, 12.00, 1.00, 2.00, 3.00, 4.00, 5.00, 6.00, 7.00, 8.00, 9.00, 10.00 SPIDER-MAN 3 (12A) 10.00, 1.30, 5.00, 8.30 ZODIAC (15) 12.30, 4.30, 8.30 SENIOR SCREEN: FLAGS OF OUR FATHERS (15) 10.30am

Wednesday 23 28 WEEKS LATER (18) 1.00, 3.30, 6.00, 8.30 ALPHA DOG (15) 3.15, 8.40 BRIDGE TO TERABITHIA (PG) 1.00, 3.30 FRACTURE (15) 5.50, 8.30 MAGICIANS (15) 12.15, 2.30, 4.45, 7.00, 9.15 SPIDER-MAN 3 (12A) 12.30, 1.30, 2.30, 4.00, 5.00, 6.00, 7.30, 8.30, 9.15 SUNSHINE (15) 12.15, 6.10 ZODIAC (15) 12.30, 4.30, 8.30

Films showing Friday 25–Monday 28 28 WEEKS LATER (18) MAGICIANS (15) PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: AT WORLD’S END (12A) SPIDER-MAN 3 (12A) ZODIAC (15) PLEASE CHECK WITH CINEMA FOR CONFIRMATION OF FILMS SHOWING FROM FRIDAY FROM FRIDAY

www.picturehouses.co.uk

01273 626261 Tuesday 22

Saturday 26

JOE STRUMMER (15) 4.00, 9.00 MY BEST FRIEND (12A) 1.30, 6.30

JINDABYNE (15) 1.30, 7.00 ZODIAC (15) 4.00, 9.30 KIDS CLUB: THE CAT RETURNS (U) 11.00am

Wednesday 23 JOE STRUMMER (15) 4.00, 9.00 MY BEST FRIEND (12A) 1.30, 6.30 BIG SCREAM: JOE STRUMMER (15) 11.00am

Thursday 24 JOE STRUMMER (15) 4.00, 9.00 MY BEST FRIEND (12A) 1.30, 6.30

Friday 25

Sunday 27 JINDABYNE (15) 6.30 MUTUAL APPRECIATION (15) 1.00 ZODIAC (15) 3.30, 9.00

Monday 28 JINDABYNE (15) 1.00 ZODIAC (15) 3.30, 9.00

JINDABYNE (15) 12.45, 6.15 ZODIAC (15) 3.15, 8.45 LATE NIGHT: INLAND EMPIRE (15) 11.30pm

www.cineworld.co.uk

01273 818094 Tuesday 22

Thursday 24

28 WEEKS LATER (18) 12.10, 2.30, 4.50, 7.10, 9.40 BRIDGE TO TERABITHIA (PG) 2.10, 4.30, 6.45 MAGICIANS (15) 12.30, 2.45, 5.00, 7.15, 9.20 MY BEST FRIEND (12A) 8.50 SPIDER-MAN 3 (12A) 11.00, 11.45, 1.00, 2.00, 3.00, 4.15, 5.15, 6.15, 7.30, 8.30, 9.30 THE LAST KING OF SCOTLAND (15) 11.00am THE PAINTED VEIL (12A) 12.20, 5.50 THIS IS ENGLAND (18) 3.15, 9.10 ZODIAC (15) 11.00, 2.15, 5.30, 8.45

28 WEEKS LATER (18) 2.30, 4.50, 7.10, 9.40 BRIDGE TO TERABITHIA (PG) 11.50am MAGICIANS (15) 12.30, 2.45, 5.00, 7.15, 9.20 PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: AT WORLD’S END (12A) 10.45, 11.30, 12.15, 1.00, 2.45, 3.30, 4.15, 5.00, 6.45, 7.30, 8.15, 9.00 SPIDER-MAN 3 (12A) 11.00, 2.00, 5.15, 8.30 ZODIAC (15) 11.00, 2.15, 5.30, 8.45

Wednesday 23 28 WEEKS LATER (18) 12.10, 2.30, 4.50, 7.10, 9.40 BRIDGE TO TERABITHIA (PG) 11.50, 2.10, 4.30, 6.45 MAGICIANS (15) 12.30, 2.45, 5.00, 7.15, 9.20 MY BEST FRIEND (12A), 8.50 SPIDER-MAN 3 (12A) 11.00, 11.45, 1.00, 2.00, 3.00, 4.15, 5.15, 6.15, 7.30, 8.30, 9.30 THE PAINTED VEIL (12A) 12.20, 5.50 THIS IS ENGLAND (18) 3.15, 9.10 ZODIAC (15) 11.00, 2.15, 5.30, 8.45

Worthing Cinema

01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk please call for times

Thu 24-Mon 28 PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: AT WORLD’S END (12A)

28 latest 7

Films showing Friday 25–Monday 28 28 WEEKS LATER (18) BRIDGE TO TERABITHIA (PG) MAGICIANS (15) PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: AT WORLD’S END (12A) SPIDER-MAN 3 (12A) ZODIAC (15) PLEASE CHECK WITH CINEMA FOR CONFIRMATION OF FILMS SHOWING FROM FRIDAY

Also showing...

A quick look at all this week’s releases 28 Weeks Later (18) Dir: Juan Carlos Fresnadillo This entirely unnecessary sequel to the excellent 28 Days Later transplants wit and nerve for all-out gore and shock tactics. Set six months after the initial outbreak. This time the US army are drafted in to help quell a further outbreak as things go all zombie yet again. Robert Carlyle stars as the perpetual running-away-from-horde-of-zombies character while Rose Byrne adds a touch of classy grit. While not quite as subtle or original as the previous outing this is still packed with scares and thrills. (3/5) Showing at Cineworld and Odeon Alpha Dog (15) Dir: Nick Cassavetes Drama based on the life of Jesse James Hollywood, a drug dealer who became one of the youngest men ever to be on the FBI’s most wanted list. Justin Timberlake stars. (2/5) Showing at Odeon Bridge to Terabithia (PG) Dir: Gabor Csupo Based on the 1970s classic book by Katherine Paterson, this faithful rendering tells the story of two reluctant childhood friends and their adventures in a fantasy world. (2/5) Showing at Cineworld and Odeon Flags Of Our Fathers (15) Dir: Clint Eastwood A wartime epic from double Oscar winner Eastwood, this is a strong contender for most ponderous film of the year. The story tells of the six soldiers who raised the flag at the battle of Iwo Jima and their attempt to deal with grief, guilt, death, and love. Eastwood directs with his customary gruff grace and manages to coax a number of excellent performances out of a young cast consisting of Ryan Phillipe, Paul Walker, and our own ballet dancing Jamie Bell. (3/5) Showing at Odeon Fracture (15) Dir: Gregory Hoblit This dire and often turgid melodrama follows assistant DA Ryan Gosling as he does battle with wily but murderous businessman Anthony Hopkins. The script is mundane, as is the direction from the excellently named, if artistically impotent, Hoblit. This is surely another nail in the coffin of perpetual under performer Hopkins who hasn’t made a truly great film since the heady days of Merchant Ivory. He may be getting a bigger pay cheque now that he’s gone all Hollywood but his critical kudos is quickly vanishing. (1/5) Showing at Odeon Inland Empire (15) Dir: David Lynch Mr super-spooky David Lynch returns with his most complete expression of nihilistic beauty.

The film itself is mostly a stream of consciousness piece with odd little motifs, surreal characters, and a host of sometimes breathtaking artistic flourishes. Laura Dern is superb as the actress at the centre of all this madness trying to get a job done as best she can. Jeremy Irons co-stars alongside Lynch regular Justin Theroux as the film slowly, and I mean s-l-o-w-l-y, reveals its mysterious secrets. A gallery of freaks and misfits for sure but with Lynch at the helm it all somehow makes sense. (4/5) Showing at Duke of York’s The Last King of Scotland (15) Dir: Kevin Macdonald Forest Whitaker deservedly won the Best Actor Oscar for his powerhouse performance as Ugandan President General Idi Amin. The film itself is more of a melodramatic thriller than a true biopic but the direction is suitably

restrained and captures perfectly the climate of fear in seventies Uganda. The superb James McAvoy stars as Amin’s personal physician and confidante and it is this central relationship that gives the film its strength and character. It may not be pretty but as a character study of man as much an entertainer as he is a dictator, this is riveting stuff. (4/5) Showing at Cineworld Joe Strummer: The Future is Unwritten (15) Dir: Julien Temple The titular Clash frontman finally gets a documentary all to himself. Punk stalwart Temple patches together a series of interviews, home video, and live footage to weave a a rich tapestry of a man both humble and yet full of fire. Among the talking heads on display, Bono is the most hyperbolic while Steve Buscemi the most unique. Johnny Depp and Jim Jarmusch add a touch of indie class to proceedings but, in the end, it is the man himself who shines the most brightly. In a similar vein to the recent Scott Walker and Leonard Cohen documentaries, this is a gripping portrait of a man whose spirit and nerve is sorely missed. (4/5) Showing at Duke of York’s My Best Friend (12A) Dir: Patrice Leconte The always excellent Daniel Auteuil teams up with Leconte yet again in this whimsical and funny film. Auteuil plays a middle-aged man who finds out that none of his friends actually like him. With a delicate panache this is gallic charm at its most accessible. (3/5) Showing at Cineworld and Duke Of York’s Spider-Man 3 (12A) Dir: Sam Raimi Spidey is back again in this darkly sweet third installment. Venom, The Sandman and The Green Goblin all make villainous returns. (4/5) Showing at Cineworld and Odeon Sunshine (15) Dir: Danny Boyle Epic sci-fi adventure as Cillian Murphy and a host of international stars reignite a dying sun in order to save earth. Inventive but mildly confusing. (3/5) Showing at Odeon The Cat Returns (U) Dir: Hiroyuki Morita This 2002 offering from Miyazaki’s Studio Ghibli never quite matches up to the high standard set by Spirited Away or the excellent My Neighbour Totoro but it still works better than the usual animated fare.

After helping a cat, a young girl finds herself involuntarily engaged to a cat prince in a magical world where her only hope of freedom lies with a dapper cat. The story may be irksome and the animation occasionally derivative but the charm and wit of studio Ghibli shine through. (3/5) Showing at Duke of York’s The Painted Veil (12A) Dir: John Curran Based on the novel by W. Somerset Maugham, The Painted Veil is a love story set in the 1920s played out with grace by Edward Norton and Naomi Watts. (3/5) Showing at Cineworld This Is England (18) Dir: Shane Meadows Without doubt the best British film of the last few years this follow up to the excellent Dead Man’s Shoes finds Meadows hitting his stride with confidence. Recounting his own upbringing in the mid-eighties this is a provocative but tender account of an England divided by politics, music, and friendships.

(5/5) Showing at Cineworld

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L7 lowdown Battle of the summer New releases reviewed

Zodiac (15)

7 Selects

Director: David Fincher This latest offering from David Fincher is based on the Robert Graysmith books about the real life Zodiac, a serial killer who terrorised San Francisco with a string of murders during the 1960s and 1970s.

Jake Gyllenhaal is superb as the journalist at the centre of the investigation. The excellent Robert Downey Jnr adds some grit, as does Mark Ruffalo and a superbly unhinged Brian Cox. Imbued with layer upon layer of suspense this is a film that treads similar ground to such seventies classics as All the President’s Men and The Parallax View. At last this is Fincher back at his pernickity and forthright best.

Craig Driver Showing at Cineworld, Duke of York’s, and Odeon

Mutual Appreciation (15)

Jindabyne (15)

Director: Ray Lawrence This offbeat and sometimes dark film tells the tale of an Irishman (Gabriel Byrne) living in the Australian town of Jindabyne, who on a fishing trip in isolated hill country discovers the body of a murdered girl in the river.

Rather than return to the town immediately, he and his friends continue fishing. Laura Linney plays the put-upon wife struggling to deal with her husband’s lies. A powerful film about the struggle of relationships and the way in which our past can haunt us.

Showing at Duke of York’s

Magicians (15)

Director: Andrew O’Connor This big screen caper from the creators and stars of Peep Show is bound to cause comparison with the outstanding Channel 4 show. It tells the story of a pair of rival stage magicians who fall out over a guillotine mishap, when they compete against each other in a magic competition. The two leads from Peep Show David Mitchel and Robert Webb are excellent as rivals, and are aided with admirable support from Spaced star Jessica Stevenson and a host of British comic talent. The jokes are sharp and the running time short, both of which make for a warm and acidic little treat.

Showing at Cineworld and Odeon

Director: Andrew Bujalski This US indie flick is the follow-up to cult director Bujalski’s quirky film, Funny Ha Ha. Telling the twisted tale of drifter Alan who turns up in New York in an attempt to pursue his rock’n’roll aspirations. This is a film without a real plot or script and instead relies heavily on the charm of its lead actors. Justin Rice is suitably off-beat as Alan while Rachel Clift, as the woman Alan fancies, is perfectly pretty. This may be a bit too obscure for most but with its lo-fi charm this is an admirable film with heart.

Showing at Duke of York’s

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End (12A)

Director: Gore Verbinski This third and final instalment in the Captain Jack show sees Captain Barbossa, Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann sail off the edge of the map, navigate treachery and betrayal, and make a final last stand in the sea battle to end all battles. All this whilst trying to save Jack from his own demise. Chow Yun Fat pops up as a rival Singapore pirate, while a certain Rolling Stone makes a much anticipated cameo with dreadlocks and all. Like the previous film this is far too showy to be truly brilliant but Johnny Depp saves the day with his wasted and dilapidated charm.

Showing at Cineworld, Odeon, and Worthing

With the blockbuster season fast approaching Craig Driver looks at the films set to rule the multiplexes

With sequels to Shrek, Spider-Man, and Pirates of the Caribbean out this summer it looks set to be popcorn crazy over the coming months.

Despite the oodles of fun to be had at the cinema this summer, questions are being raised as to whether the traditional blockbuster is still relevant or, indeed, financially viable. With Spider-Man 3 costing a reputed $260m plus $150m for marketing, can Hollywood justify another season of mindless financial indulgence?

Sony/Columbia lead the race with Spider-Man 3 already released and doing good business. The first two instalments set opening-day box office records, and the franchise has already raked in over $1.6bn worldwide, not bad for a dorky teenage web-slinger. Next up is Buena Vista’s third instalment to the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End. Captain Jack Sparrow’s third outing is the summer’s second all-out extravaganza. Unlike the Spider-Man franchise, the last one banked more than the first, breaking the usual trend of diminishing returns for sequels. With Johnny Depp once again doing a spot-on impersonation of Keith Richards this is a film full of bravado if not wit. That all sadly got washed away with the tide when the budget swelled to $225m and the first two films took in excess of $1.7bn worldwide. 20th Century Fox continue the superhero trend with the release of Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer. Marvel’s first family of superheroes makes a return to the big screen just two years after their first dismal outing. Jessica Alba might look good in spandex but even such mild titillation would be hard pushed to save this film. Fox has apparently been working on reshoots, a sure sign that studio bosses are not happy with the final product. The addition of the Silver Surfer may add a bit of chic but, as a metallic cosmic being who surfs around the universe preparing worlds to be eaten by a giant cosmic super entity that takes the form of a cloud, it may just be too hard a sell.

Bruce Willis keeps up the sense of history repeating itself as he returns as super cop John McClane in the fourth Die Hard instalment, Die Hard 4. Twelve years after the last instalment this is a film hoping that the promise of an “old-school” action flick without any CGI magic will hit the mark with moviegoers. By complete contrast, the CGI orgy that is Transformers gets a cinematic release through Paramount. Based on the cult 1980s favourite, this epic adventure of duelling alien robots travelling through the galaxy has Steven Spielberg as executive producer.

With a reported $150m CGI blowout this film may just be a tad too expensive for its apparent 15 rating. Finally, Warner Brothers release Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. The fifth release from superrich JK Rowling’s literary revolution finds Daniel Radcliffe, fresh from full frontal nudity on the West End, squaring up to Lord Voldermort amidst political uprising at Hogwarts. Having taken well over $2bn so far, the boy wizard franchise looks set to make even more money for Rowling and her teenage fantasy epic.

Despite the hesitations of most sensible people the summer blockbuster looks set to keep raping our wallets. With Spider-Man 3 taking an estimated $148m in its opening weekend in the US alone and an estimated $227m worldwide in just two days it would seem money is the language by which cinema will continue to be ruled. Just remember to pick your indulgence carefully and buy enough popcorn and nachos to last the course.

Fantastic Four: The Rise of the Silver Surfer

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THE BIG GIG

THIS WEEK Ray Davies Former frontman of The Kinks, and one of this country’s most enduring and popular songwriters, Davies only got around to releasing his first full solo album last year, Other People’s Lives.

Known for his mature, sophisticated and subtle songs he has been called the ‘greatest humanist in rock’.

While his lyrics are often deceptively simple, focused on time-honoured rock themes such as love, sexual attraction and partying, they often contain elements of satire, on songs such as ‘Well Respected Man’. The Kinks finished for good back in 1996, but Davies, forever the troubled soul, soldiers on, making music and writing lyrics that match his extraordinary 60s output.

Sat 26 May, Brighton Centre, 0870 900 9100

Loop

Scout Niblett

This new one-day music and digital arts festival will be spread across four areas in Victoria Gardens. The line-up includes The Aliens, Husky Rescue, Bonobo, The Bays and, of course, the Go! Team.

Sat 18 August, Victoria Gardens, Brighton 01273 709709

Scout gave up piano lessons when she was nine, because “I didn’t want to learn other people’s songs” and when she was 19 she took herself to an arts college in Nottingham. In 1999 she hooked up with drummer Kristian Goddard, and released her rare-ashen’s-teeth debut album, Sweet Heart Fever, on Secretly Canadian in 2001.

Scout Niblett’s second album, I Am, took just four days to make at legendary producer Steve Albini’s studio in Chicago. Heavy drums accompanied by Scout’s squeals and coos pretty much make up the sound, along with her guitar.

Tue 22 May, Komedia, 01273 647100

Latest 7’s top 5 records Nina Nastasia & Jim White You Follow Me (album Fat Cat) Collaboration between cult American songstress Nastasia and Australian Dirty Three drummer Jim White. Overall, the mood is haunting, gothic even, and the sound a stripped-back affair where Nastasia’s sometimes breathy and sometimes howling voice and circumspect guitar meets White’s expansive, almost jazzy drumming.

Famed producer Steve Albini makes sure it sounds organic and raw.

1

Von Sudenfed Tromatic Reflexxions (album Domino) Featuring Mark E Smith of The Fall, and Mouse on Mars’s Andi Toma and Jan St Werner, these often brutal, yet groovy, electro dirges contain some pop moments. It’s a Fall record in all but name!

2

Mumm-Ra These Things Move In Threes (album Sony BMG) On the verge of big things thanks to their ability to write big, guitardriven indie-rock numbers that appeal to those who struggle with difficult, or leftfield, music. Highly functional and competent.

3

Chris Cornell Carry On (album Suretone) The former Soundgarden frontman unleashes his husky blues growl on a number of nicely stripped-back tunes that still carry a punch within the easy flowing rhythms.

4

Marillion Somewhere Else (album Intact Records) Another example of a band who are continuing to enjoy significant success by doing it independently, and via their large fanbase. Nothing particularly challenging here, but if you’re into old-school Genesis-type progressive rock then look no further.

5

Eleanor McEvoy Eleanor McEvoy achieved star status in Ireland in 1992 when her song ‘Only A Woman’s Heart’ inspired the title for and appeared on, the A Woman's Heart anthology album. It has since become the best-selling album in Irish history, even eclipsing records by such renowned Irish artists as Van Morrison and U2. A beautifully restrained songwriter, she has co-written with the likes of Lloyd Cole and has had her songs covered by the likes of Emmylou Harris, Phil Coulter and Mary Black. Caroline Lavelle’s version of the McEvoy composition ‘All I Have’ is featured in the cult USA television series Six Feet Under.

Mon 28 May, The Greys, Brighton, 01273 680734

For music listings see our day-to-day guide starting on page 41 30 latest 7

If you would like your event listed please email listings@thelatest.co.uk

030_031_LS322 music

5/17/07

11:02 AM

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MUSIC

BRIGHTON SCENE A weekly round-up of what’s happening in the local Brighton and Sussex music scene It’s the last week of the Fringe, and if you haven’t done so already it’s about time you got your cultural teeth embedded into the artsy landscape of Brighton. It’s your chance, as is the custom, to get stuck into the weird, exotic, unusual, and often wonderful, with all kinds of musical events that don’t normally get a look in. Check the Fringe programme in particular for some local delights. From brass to recitals, world music to rock, there is a veritable potpourri of idiosyncratic delights just waiting for an audience.

A highlight of the fringe is a rare gig by local band Oom (Thurs 24 May, Prince Albert). Led by former Massive Attack guest vocalist Debbie Clare and featuring Ed Chivers on beats/samples/guitar/noise, Alex Hay on guitars and Darren Lindridge on Oom drums, their music is a mix of dark ambience, distorted beats, beautiful vocals and noisy guitars.

Not from Brighton, but based on the local Catskills label, are Coventry three-piece The Ripps (Mon 28 May, Pressure Point), whose recent album Long Live The Ripps unashamedly plagiarises punk and Two Tone, but somehow manages to sound fresh and just as invigorating as the best of those genres. Made up of two Chilean brothers (their parents were refugees from General Pinochet’s dictatorship) and a lady drummer, their new single ‘Holiday’ is a wicked little summer pop tune.

With Brighton continuing to blossom in all ways musical, it’s no surprise to see the Barfly group build on the Great Escape festival by opening a venue in town. The 350-capacity Barfly Brighton joins the existing venues in London, Cardiff, Glasgow, Liverpool, Birmingham and York, consolidating Barfly’s march to being one of the country’s leading music promoters, specialising in indie music. They’ve taken over the long neglected Brighton Gloucester nightclub and already a decent line-up of new and up-and-coming talent has been booked, including Nine Black Alps, The Crimea, Tiny Dancers, Hell Is For Heroes and We Are The Physics. In addition to the live programme, Barfly will continue to run a number of regular club nights at the venue including Mad For it and Kick Out The Jams.

Finally, get your diaries out because Brighton Live is back later in the year for another celebration of local music. Now in its fifth year there are many strands to the event – from indie to rock, world music to classical, there are shows for all ages, lunchtime gigs and shows in unusual venues, such as shop fronts. Bands and artists are being encouraged to submit demos for consideration. The deadline is 1 June, so get your skates on. Please visit www.brightonlive.net for the The Ripps online submission form.

Send your music and news to Jeff Hemmings, Music Editor, Latest 7, Unit 1, Level 5, New England House, New England Street, Brighton BN1 4GH. Listen to Jeff and guests from the Latest magazine stable on the Latest Soup show on Radio Reverb, Mon–Fri, 46pm, 97.2FM or via www.radioreverb.com

latest 7 on the radio Tune into Radio Reverb 97.2FM Mon-Fri, 4-6pm, for the latest music, art, culture, politics, community and entertainment news, with Jeff Hemmings and guests.

If you would like your event listed please email listings@thelatest.co.uk

THE MONTH AHEAD NME New Music Tour With British indie music in rather rude health, here’s the latest batch of up-and-coming bands who have already had some of the music press salivating in anticipation of big things to come. A particularly varied line-up this time around, there’s the strippedback, Dexys-inspired The Rumble Strips, along with the abrasive two-piece Blood Red Shoes, the superb indie pop melodies and feel-good vibes of America’s The Little Ones, plus Pull Tiger Tail.

Wed 30 May, Concorde 2, Brighton, 01273 673311

The Rumble Strips

Girls Aloud At the opposite end to the NME-anointed new bands above, there’s this feisty five, an ITV reality show lovechild that has gone on to become wildly successful. They’ve had 15 consecutive top ten hits plus four platinum-selling albums already, and it seems nothing will stop them.

The tabloids stay hungry for all the lascivious gossip and tittle-tattle, and all five (Cheryl, Nadine, Sarah, Nicola and Kimberly) enjoy being voted into FHM’s yearly top 100 sexiest women lists. But they have also enjoyed an enormous amount of praise (and attention, of course) from the broadsheet press, and holier-than-thou music titles such as NME. That’s kinda hard to take, but you do have to admire the brilliant image that has been conjured up.

Tue 29 May, Brighton Centre, 0870 900 9100

NOWBOOKING Girls Aloud 29 May, Brighton Centre NME New Music Tour 30 May, Concorde 2 Pet Shop Boys 30 May, Brighton Centre Tom McRae 5 June, Concorde 2 Manic Street Preachers 6 June, B’ton Dome Gary Moore 9 June, B’ton Dome CocoRosie 12 June, Komedia, Brighton Allen Toussaint 15 June, Brighton Dome INXS 17 June, Brighton Dome Devo 18 June, Brighton Dome Ronan Keating 21 June, Stanmer Park Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark 22 June, Brighton Dome Jools Holland & Lulu 23 June, Borde Hill Garden, Haywards Heath Royal Philharmonic 24 June, Stanmer Park Blackmore’s Night 23 June, Brighton Dome Rufus Wainwright 24 June, Brighton Dome

Suzanne Vega 2 July, Brighton Dome Damien Rice 14 July, Brighton Dome The Be Good Tanyas 24 July, St George’s Church Loop 18 August, Victoria Gardens James Last Orchestra 22 September, Brighton Centre Natasha Bedingfield 26 September, Brighton Dome Don McLean 23 Oct, Brighton Centre Dio, lommi, Butler and Appice 11 Nov, Brighton Centre Alice Cooper + Motorhead 13 Nov, Brighton Centre Beverley Knight 24 Nov, Brighton Dome Babyshambles 25 Nov, Brighton Centre Status Quo 13 Dec, Brighton Centre From The Jam 21 Dec, Brighton Centre

latest 7 31

032_LS322_RR/Molly

5/16/07

4:10 PM

Page 2

RADIOREVERB

Foxy Mamma Malone Shop assistants, skinny jeans, new rave.

Some things make Malone feel old

97.2FM

latest soup Brighton’s favourite magazine dishes up a tasty broth of chat, music and interviews Hosted by Latest 7’s music commander Jeff Hemmings with new tunes, old classics and hot local talent. Tune in Monday to Friday 4–6pm

every Monday 4–6pm...

Latest 7 funny girl Vicky Nangle has a giggle with guests from the comedy circuit every Tuesday 4–6pm....

Latest Art’s Colette Meacher gets stuck into the arts scene every Wednesday 4–6pm...

Latest Sounds with top live guests every Thursday 4–6pm...

From Arnie to art house, Craig Driver and guests catch up with the latest talk on the big screen

Things that annoy me about being a parent… Many people think your life has ended now you have a child. They don’t call any more.

Pavements are not designed for buggies. People park on the pavement so you have to push the buggy into the road, then back on to the pavement. Lifts where they have a spoken announcement – ‘Ground floor!’ – that wakes the sleeping baby. Churchill Square mall. The fact that you now have to get in a lift to go to Mothercare. I now boycott it.

That’ll learn ‘em. I’m sure they miss my custom. Er, what else do I hate? I hate smocks! I’m not pregnant any more, I don’t want to look pregnant. Why are all the clothes in every shop designed like big frilly tents? When I was pregnant it was the other way round.

“Some kids flyering didn’t offer me a flyer. They probably thought, ‘Nah, she looks past clubbing’” Right what else… Ah, yes. Young shop assistants in Topshop who think that mothers with buggies should not be allowed into fashion clothing stores, and certainly not their changing rooms. They look at you like you’re 80 years old, and say things like: “Maybe you should try bootcut jeans? They might flatter your shape better.” As they stand there casually looking good in just a T-shirt and skinny jeans (we called them drainpipe jeans in my day). Personally I think only nine-year-olds look good in skinny jeans. Saying that, I have three pairs I don’t wear. And some are the ones I bought from Topshop maternity! Skinny jeans for pregnant women – they look ridiculous. But I didn’t care, I was pregnant: it was my job to look ridiculous. My ex said to me the other week: “Can I ask you something?” I said, “What?” as I sat down preparing myself for something big – this sounded serious. Was it about money? Access? Looking at me seriously, he said: “Do you think I’d suit skinny jeans?”

Today some kids flyering outside HSBC didn’t offer me a flyer. That says it all doesn’t it? They probably thought, “Nah, she looks past clubbing.” I felt like shouting: “Didn’t wanna go anyway!” Probably some wrung-out drum and bass night, or a retro back-to-the-old-skool house night. I should have gone up to them and said: “I remember when these tunes came out the first time!” And what’s all this ‘new rave’ rubbish? New rave? It’s not new – it’s just the same: big bright horrible colours in big baggy T-shirts with dumb writing on. Neon colours and plastic jewels doesn’t make it new. The only thing new about the new rave scene is that the kids don’t know what old rave was.

I don’t even know what I’m talking about – what kind of music is new rave? Maybe I’ll look new rave up in iTunes. Hang on a minute. Hmmm, it’s quite good, actually; it’s just bands like The Klaxons and The Gossip, erm, apparently. You can’t Google youth though can you? I’m not down with the scenes, I’m Googling them. I’m old.

For comments and chit chat email editorial@thelatest.co.uk

and every Friday 4–6pm...

Join Latest Homes’ resident fat boy Andrew Kay with his extra special guests from the worlds of theatre, food and drink Listen live at radioreverb.com or get in touch by emailing studio@radioreverb.com 32 latest 7

Crossword solutions Solution to Cryptic 93 ACROSS: 1 Calamity 5 Calf 9 Lanes 10 Realism 11 Benefactress 13 Tinsel 14 Freeze 17 Mournfulness 20 Conquer 21 Ready 22 Sore 23 Stampede DOWN: 1 Call 2 Lantern 3 Misdemeanour 4 Thread 6 Alice 7 Famished 8 Battering ram 12 Stomachs 15 Ensnare 16 Turret 18 Ulnar 19 Tyre Solution to Quick 93 ACROSS: 1 Particle 5 Club 9 Aesop 10 Quintal 11 Frankincense 13 Inmate 14 Supper 17 Restaurateur 20 Gnarled 21 Order 22 Need 23 Measured DOWN: 1 Plan 2 Rostrum 3 Impenetrable 4 Liquid 6 Latin 7 Bilberry 8 Discourteous 12 Nitrogen 15 Plunder 16 Bridge 18 Shame 19 Grid © Crossword Shop

For coverage in this magazine email editorial@thelatest.co.uk

033_LS322_barsbarreview/clubs

5/16/07

3:55 PM

Page 3

BARS &CLUBS

THIS WEEK AND THE MONTH AHEAD ★Latest 7 inspects the refurb of the The Katarina With the attractive waterfront bars and restaurants opening down at Brighton Marina, it seemed The Katarina was being overlooked. People bypassed it to the charm of the Master Mariner in the Octagon, or the chic Aqua bar, or to the waterfront and the newbies such as Karma.

Bloodied, it seemed, but not beaten, The Katarina closed for a major refurbishment, opening again just in time for summer. The attractive new outdoor seating was left empty, however, as heavy rain made an appearance. Inside, the new lighter décor, creates a warm atmosphere, in spite of the inclement elements outside. Behind the bar, apples sit decoratively above four wine barrels (Spanish wine, rosé and white wine among these), alluding to the selection of fresh fruit juices to choose from. It was time to find a table, and despite being lunchtime, the ample seating made it easy to find a spot to relax, with large comfy sofas, long cushioned seats and individual chairs to choose from. Upstairs, the restaurant was open for business; previously a Beefeater, The Katarina is now part of the popular Harvester chain. Menus on the table preview the dishes on offer – traditional English pub food that’s good value for money. A worthwhile break on an afternoon’s shopping trip, or a refuel after traipsing round Asda.

Zara Friend The Katarina, Brighton Marina, BN2 5WA, 01273 606268

Circus Burlesque @ Wild Fruit Now that even Daily Mail readers have a pair of M&S nipple tassels to relight the fire of Mr Middle England, is burlesque still considered kinky?

Those Wild Fruit peeps think so, and have dedicated their legendary bank holiday bash to the joys of bountiful brassieres, shocking stockings and a bit of old-fashioned slap and tickle. As usual, it’s worth dressing up for the other fabulous fruits and enjoying the teasing and tantalising musical stylings of Mr Haywood. Also on hand will be drag superstar Dizzire Dubfire keeping naughty boys in check.

Creation, 78 West Street, Sunday 27 May, 10pm–3am, £12/£10/£9/£8

Sevensins Special @ Honeyclub International superstar DJ, softly spoken trance pioneer and brother of Dick (arf), Paul van Dyk’s fine productions and epic sets have seen clubbers metaphorically wet their Mickey Mouse pants the world over.

Now he’s over in Blighty to celebrate the nation’s day off with a headlining gig at one of the seafront’s most salubrious clubs. With no breakdown left unbroken, it’s going to be a haven for rave monkeys with a taste for the softer, smoother stuff.

Honeyclub, 214 Kings Road Arches, Friday 25 May, 10.00pm–5am, £21.50 VIP/£16.50

Stick It On @ King and Queen Now a firm fixture in the discerning (or drunk) clubber’s calendar, the night that aims to democratise deejaying returns to the King and Queen for a day of boozing and boogieing. As well as the usual favourites (a casino, breaks room, salsa lessons and Brighton’s best deejaying punters) punning local attractions the Brown Stripes (fnar, fnar) will be playing popular classics. Stand up, get drunk and be counted.

King and Queen, 13 Marlborough Place, Sunday 27 May, 3pm–late, price to be announced

Cavalcade of Pop @ Po Na Na Providing party-pop-on-a-wonk, Boogaloo Stu (pictured in all his glory) will be playing everything from Justin Timberlake to My Robot Friend. Upping the ante, the live act this time around will be Partyshanks, an act described on the press release as: ‘2Unlimited dressed up like a hotdog’.

Where were they when the Eurovision Song Contest needed them?

Po Na Na, 75–79 East Street, Tuesday 29 May, 9.30pm–late, £4/£3

For bar/club listings see our day-to-day guide starting on page 41 latest 7 33

034_LS322_gay

5/16/07

3:40 PM

Page 2

GAY

News New gay newspaper for Brighton launches A new free newspaper for Brighton and Hove’s gay community is being launched this week.

The twicemonthly title One80News will offer news and information about events in the city, as well as reviews and entertainment.

It’s being produced by the same team that brings you 3SIXTY magazine every month. “We want to bolster our ability to report on Brighton and Hove stories in a much more localised way,” says managing editor David Harvey. “3SIXTY is very much a regional title now covering the whole of the south of the UK, and Wales, and a local newspaper for Brighton will allow us to explore local issues and news in the city much more.” The new editor will be Paul Disney, who was the brains behind AXM magazine.

Pick up your free copy from venues across the city on 25 May. “ONE80 will be a great addition to life in our vibrant city,” says Councillor Simon Burgess, leader of Brighton and Hove City Council. “It just shows how much is going on and how

Pubs & bars Amsterdam, 11 Marine Parade Bar, hotel, sauna and popular summer terrace. Food available every day. 01273 688825 www.amsterdam.uk.com Aquarium, 6 Steine Street Traditional back-street boozer.

01273 605525 www.pleisure.com Barley Mow, 92 St George’s Road Mixed and friendly local in Kemp Town serving good food.

Nice outside terrace too.

01273 682259 Brighton Rocks, 6 Rock Place Fabulously stylish bar and restaurant with outside decking. 01273 601139 Bulldog, 31 St James’s Street Landmark gay pub for 25 years.

Entertainment, happy hours.

01273 694097 www.bulldogbrighton.com Charles Street, 8 Marine Parade Huge, swish café/bar serving food. Outside terrace. Open till 3am Fri/Sat. 01273 624091 www.charlesstreetbar.com Doctor Brighton’s 16–17 Kings Road Popular pub with huge selection of vodkas.

01273 328765 www.pleisure.com Fountain Inn High Street, Handcross Gay oasis in the countryside near Gatwick and very popular.

01444 400218 www.fountainpub.co.uk Jack Horner, 80 High Street, Worthing Worthing’s only gay pub. Some themed nights. 01903 236427

34 latest 7

Legends Bar, Dance and Hotel 31-34 Marine Parade Recently reopened after a multimillion pound refit.

Marine Tavern, 13 Broad Street Cosy, traditional and friendly boozer with real beer.

01273 681284 www.marinetavern.co.uk Marlborough, 4 Princes Street Large pub popular with the girls, with a great theatre upstairs.

01273 570028 www.marlboroughtheatre.co.uk PV, 22 Upper North Street Great mixed pub with cool interior and regular live music.

01273 325491 www.thepv.co.uk Queen’s Arms, 7 George Street Opens 3pm daily. Top acts every night. 01273 696873 www.queensarmsbrighton.com R-Bar, 7 Marine Parade Open till 2am, Sun–Thu; 24 hours, Fri–Sun. 01273 608133 www.revenge.co.uk Revue Bar, 19 New Steine Stylish bar, friendly atmosphere.

01273 607456 Star Inn, 5–9 Manchester Street Traditional-style pub in Kemp Town for bears, with quiz on Thu. Extensive lunch and dinner menu every day, plus great Sunday roasts. 01273 601450 Vavoom, 31 Old Steine Video bar, right next door to Revenge. 01273 603010 www.vavoom.co.uk White Horse, 30 Camelford St Friendly mixed local.

01273 603726 The Zone, 33 St James’s Street Bar promising something different for Brighton’s drinkers.

01273 626442

much people want to get involved in this great city of ours.”

“I’ve always thought that a city like Brighton and Hove should have an informative gay newspaper,” says Paul, who’s lived in the city for five years. “There is such a big gay community here and it’s what the city needs, as a newspaper will give more immediacy on news and information than monthly magazines.”

Official statistics show that one in five men in Brighton is gay. The lesbian, bisexual and transgender community has yet to be officially measured, but an acknowledged estimate of the LGBT community in total is 50,000. The city is also a huge magnet for gay visitors.

The 3SIXTY team has just celebrated the fifth birthday of the magazine. 3SIXTY has gone from strength to strength and expands again in size this month due to its popularity.

Notre your ordinary dames A lesbian couple that staged a mock wedding at the Notre Dame church in Paris has been fined one euro by a court. The women, in wedding dresses, exchanged rings and kissed in front of shocked tourists. The stunt was intended to make a statement about gay rights.

CHOICE Tue 22 May Queen’s Arms 2.30-11.30pm. Food, wi fi access and happy hour till 7pm. The new Crooners piano bar, complementary sandwiches.

Wed 23 May R-BAR Noon–2am. Go double baby! From 9pm, any double just £1 extra.

5–9pm happy hour.

Thu 24 May Charles Street Club 10.30pm–3am. Religion hosted by Mother Superior Joan Bond with DJs Richard Jones & Tony B on the decks. £5/£4 flyer/£3 NUS.

Fri 25 May Revenge 10.30pm–5am. Lollipop vs

Kinky Dangerous. DJ Dulcie Danger banging away upstairs with the fabulous Lollipop Girls hosting downstairs. £5 before 11, £7 after.

Sat 26 May HQ 9pm–4am. Maisie Trollette on stage at 10.30pm. Free before 11pm, £5 after.

Sun 27 May Audio 6pm–11pm. Sunday Sundae has returned for a summer of sexy sizzling fun! £2 before 7pm, £3 before 8pm, £5 after.

Mon 28 May Marlborough 12pm–12am.

Drag Music Night.

Fundraiser for Pride. £1 entry from 7pm.

Nude man in heels scares shoppers Shoppers in McMinnville, Oregon got more than they bargained for when a man wearing nothing but high heels hot-footed his way through the town’s mall. A 911 call was made and the building was locked down. Despite this, police couldn’t find the man, in his 40s, who was last seen mincing down a hallway towards an exit.

3SIXTY is Brighton’s brightest monthly gay magazine with news, interviews, features and listings for the gay scene around Brighton and Hove.

May’s edition is out now. Pick up your free copy across the city.

You can also now download a full issue at www.3sixtymag.co.uk

To comment on these stories

3SIXTY T: 01273 570570 E: info@3sixtymag.co.uk

please email editorial@thelatest.co.uk

Clubs Audio Hosts Sunday Sundae 10 Marine Parade Weekly chill out with occasional specials and drink promos.

01273 606906 Candy Bar, 129 St James’s Street UK’s only lesbian nightclub, till 3am, Fri/Sat. 01273 622424 www.thecandybar.co.uk Charles Street Club, 8 Marine Parade Sleek club above Charles Street Bar. Nightly promoters.

10pm–2am, 01273 624091 HQ, 43 Providence Place Bar/nightclub, cabaret/strippers, Fri/Sat nights. 9pm–4am, Fri/Sat. 01273 620630 www.hq-brighton.co.uk Monkey, Brighton Gloucester, 27 Gloucester Place Every Saturday night. www.wildfruit.co.uk 01273 688011 Revenge, 32 Old Steine Huge two-floor club.

10pm–3am, Sun–Thu till 5am Fri and Sat till 6am. www.revenge.co.uk Therapy @ Rehab Waterfront, Brighton Marina A weekly gay night at Brighton Marina, every Friday. A lovely stylish big bar!

V2, 5 Steine Street Open every night from 8pm until late. 01273 603010 Wildfruit, Creation, 78 West Street Usually once a month, with themed nights. One for your calendar! www.wildfruit.co.uk

035_LS322_stage

5/16/07

4:08 PM

Page 1

STAGE

Monster hit Love&Madness Ensemble present a bold new adaptation of Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein Victor Frankenstein is an ambitious young philosophy student who discovers how to give life to inanimate material. As the ultimate proof of his discovery he assembles a creature from a collection of dead human body parts and succeeds in bringing it to life. Horrified by the result, Victor abandons his ‘creation’, leaving it to fend for itself, learn of the cruelness of mankind, and ultimately exact its terrible revenge.

Here is an opportunity to see a unique preview of this ambitious new production before it undertakes a major tour later in the year. The performance will be followed by a discussion with the creative team where comments will be welcomed.

Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein, Hawth Theatre, Hawth Avenue, Crawley, Fri 15 June, 7.45pm, £10.50/£8.50.

Call 01293 553636

Siren call Blonde Bombshells Of 1943 by Emmy and BAFTA award-winner Alan Plater comes to the Theatre Royal Brighton After a sell-out success in London and based on the award-winning TV film The Last Of The Blonde Bombshells, starring Judi Dench, this warm and witty musical play is filled with live performances of 1940s classics by a sensational eight-piece live swing band.

Bandleader Betty has a problem. Every time the Blonde Bombshells play a GI camp, they all go AWOL! With jobs looming, Betty needs to find new musicians fast. Among those drafted in are schoolgirl Liz on clarinet, uppercrust saxophonist Miranda, Lily the singing nun and male drummer Patrick, prepared to don a frock to avoid a drafting. With the line-up complete, the band prepares to make the dangerous journey to a secret BBC recording and potential fame and fortune! There are

elements of Some Like It Hot in there and who can resist the sounds of wartime swing music when desperate times led to people kicking back their heels and making the best of a bad thing.

Packed with toe-tapping classics by Fats Waller, The Andrews Sisters, Ella Fitzgerald, Glenn Miller and many more, including ‘Don’t Sit Under The Apple Tree’, ‘Goodbye-ee’ and ‘T'ain't What You Do’ – drive away the blues with this hilarious musical play that will ring a note of nostalgia for older audiences and give younger ones an insight into just how wild granny might have been!

Blonde Bombshells Of 1943, Theatre Royal Brighton, Mon 11 to Sat 16 June, 7.45pm (2.30pm matinees on Thurs and Sat), £15-£24. Call 08700 606650

Take your partners Strictly nostalgic tea dances and lessons Having written about the heyday of swing music, I was delighted to note that over at Komedia they are hosting a series of tea dances. Well, who can blame them for riding on the crest of a dance wave caused by the phenomenon that is Strictly Come Dancing?

Not exactly theatre, then, but totally theatrical and in a theatre setting. Why not trip the light fantastic as Desert Ivan Discs spins favourite sounds from the roaring 20s, 30s and 40s?

Ragroof Theatre hosts the stylish afternoon tea dance, which they promise is for all ages and experiences. By popular demand, the first hour will be dance classes in waltz, foxtrot, tango, cha cha, jive and many more, followed by two hours of dancing.

Tea Dance – Lesson & Dance, Komedia, Brighton, Sun 10 Jun, 2-5pm (dance class 2-3pm), £8/£6. Call 01273 647100 latest 7 35

036_LS322_stagelistings

5/18/07

10:05 AM

Page 2

STAGE

THEATRE LISTINGS

From Tuesday 22 to Monday 18 June 2007 BRIGHTON DOME 01273 709709 www.brightondome.org Breakin’ Convention A chance to see the world’s finest poppers and breakers in action, with Electric Boogaloos, Frank Ejara, and Franck II Louise. Amazing dance.

•Fri 25–Sat 26 May, foyer events from 6pm, show 7.30pm, £20/£15/£10 Festival Ceilidh With kids’ cocktails, bar for adults and resident caller to show you the moves.

•Sun27 May, 7pm, £26 family ticket (two kids max), £9 adults/£6 children Ricky Gervais Live: Fame Additional show date – last few tickets remain! Strictly over 18s.

• Fri 8 June, 7.30pm, £25

BRIGHTON LITTLE THEATRE 01273 777748 www.the-little.co.uk Blue/Orange Two psychiatrists argue over the diagnosis of a black patient who claims to be the son of Idi Amin.

•Tue 22–Sat 26 May, please book through Brighton Festival website

THE CAPITOL, HORSHAM 01403 750220 www.thecapitolhorsham.com Cannon and Ball A chance to see the great double act who have been in show business for over 40 years.

•Wed 23 May, please call for times and prices Truman Capote Talk Show Bob Kingdom’s portrayal as the tortured, adorable and wicked writer of Breakfast at Tiffany’s makes its farewell tour – share in the unique, bitchy and heartbreaking evening with the infamous Truman Capote.

•Wed 30 May, please call for show times and prices Beyond The Barricade Leading theatre musical concert now its its record-breaking eighth year.

•Fri 1 June, please call for show times and prices Cash On Delivery Ian Dickens Prodcutions present a comical farce about a man who’s pocketed thousands through fraudulent DSS claims. Mayhem follows when his lodger opens the door to the DSS inspector…

•Thu 7–Fri 8 June, please call for show times and prices Clownderella Join Krazy Kat Kinny Gardner for clowning around, colourful costumes, tunes from Rossini’s opera, puppertry and dance.

Features fully integrated sign language, Suitable for 4–8 year olds and their families.

•Sat 16 June, please call for show times and prices

CHICHESTER FESTIVAL THEATRE 01243 781312 www.cft.org.uk Macbeth Patrick Stewart leads a company of actors in a portrayal of one of Shakespeare’s most bloody tradgedies about Macbeth, the man who murders king and comrade in a quest for the crown.

•Fri 25 May–Sat 1 Sept, please call for show times, £25/£19 Babes In Arms Rodgers and Hart, one of Broadway’s finest partnerships, presents Babes In Arms, with songs including ‘The Lady Is A Tramp’, one of musical comedy’s finest.

•Tue 29 May–Mon 2 July, please call for show times, £10–£35

THE HAWTH, CRAWLEY 01293 553636 www.hawth.co.uk CYT Show Crawley Youth Theatre present a play about kids on a school trp to Alton Towers – with an unexpected twist on their journey.

•Tue 12–Wed 13 June, please call for times and prices

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Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein A bold new adaptation of Mary Shelley’s classic novel.

Frankenstein is now Victor, an ambitious young philosophy student who gives life to inanimate material. Horrified by his creation, Victor leaves it to exact its terrible revenge due to the cruelness of human kind.

•Sat 16 June, please call for show times and prices.

EASTBOURNE: CONGRESS THEATRE 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Halfway To Paradise – The Billie Fury Story Billy Fury’s own band, Fury’s Tornados, joins Colin Gold as Billy Fury to celebrate ten years of the smash hit show telling the Billy Fury story.

•Thu 31 May, 7.30pm, £16.50 Voulez Vous Recreating the magic of Abba for over 15 years, Voulez Vous hits the stage in Eastbourne with all the best-loved Abba hits.

•Sat 2 June, 7.30pm, £10 Derren Brown An all-new stage show with the Olivier Award winner Brown, blending psychology, illusion and showmanship.

•Sat 9 June, 7.30pm, £21.50/£19.50

EASTBOURNE: DEVONSHIRE PARK THEATRE 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Thoroughly Modern Millie Musical theate set in 1922’s New York. Millie moves to the city filled with intrigue and jazz to start a new life for herself. A new heroine for the ages.

•Thu 24 May–Sat 2 June, 7.30pm (no performance Sunday 27 May) Mats Sat 26 May, Wed 30 May & Sat 2 June 2.30pm, £12/£10 Sam And I Enter the world of Samuel Pepys – his world, his women. Gossip, horrors, the Great Fire of London and his fiery relationships.

•Mon 11 June, 7.45pm, £12 Dylan Thomas: Return Journey presented

by Richard Jordan The 21st anniversary (and farwell) tour of the one man show. Starring Bob Kingsom as Dylan Thomas.

•Tue 12–Wed 13 June, 7.45pm Tue, 2.30pm Wed, £12 The Truman Capote Talk Show The farewell tour with Bob Kingdom as the adorable and wicked writer of Breakfast At Tiffany’s.

•Wed 13 June, 7.45pm, £12.50 Hanging Hooke A look at the 17th century genius Robert Hooke, loathed by Issac Newton and loved by Christopher Wren.

•Thu 14 June, 7.45pm, £12 David Bradley in The Quiz A new play about stage production – you remember your lines and your OK, but what if you’ve had a few too many sherries, your stage manager is AWOL and it’s your dream to conk out on stage?

•Sat 16–Sun 17 June, 2.30 and 7.45pm, (2.30pm Sun) £12 Flanders And Swann: At The Drop Of A Hippopotamus See Tim Fitzhingham and Duncan Walsh Atkins breathe new life into wonderful songs including ‘The Hippopotamus Song’, ‘The Gas Man Cometh’, ‘The Gnu Song’, combined with witty and satirical humour.

•Sun 17 June, 7.30pm, £15

EASTBOURNE: ROYAL HIPPODROME 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Unforgettable: The Nat King Cole Story A celebration of an unforgettable talent.With Nat’s greatest hits including Nat’s best-loved songs, ‘When I fall in Love’, ‘Let there be Love’, ‘Unforgettable’ and many more.

•Sat 16 June, 8pm, £15/£14

KOMEDIA, BRIGHTON 01273 647100 www.komedia.co.uk Taylor Mac Performance art and comedy with gender-bending surrealism, exploring the human condition. A sociopolitical tirade.

•Tue 22–Wed 23 May, 9.30pm, £12.50/£10.50

Gamarjobat European premiere of Rock ‘n’ Roll Penguin, with Brighton Fringe Festival award winners, Gamarjobat •Wed 23–Sat 26 May, please call for show times, £12.50/£10.50 Hysteria An awkward dinner date with an academic whose research is threatening his sanity and an events manager who is terrified of missing the party.

•Thu 24–Sat 26 May, please call for show times, £12.50/£10.50 Queen Of The Slaughter Live music, dance and theatre. A man leaves home to fight on the frontline for a cause he believes in.

•Fri 25–Sun 27 May please call for show times, £10/£5 20,000 Leagues Under The Office On a lunch break, two office workers suddenly find themselves plunging towards the centre of the earth – sensational comedy debut from Publick Transport filled with parody and melodrama.

•Sat 26–Sun 27 May, 8pm, £12.50

MARLBOROUGH THEATRE, BRIGHTON 07782 278521 www.marlboroughtheatre.co.uk Blame Us Drama-based sketches with young trainee executives with a unique approach to corporate learning.

•Tue 22–Thu 24 May, 6.30pm, £5 The Elevator Man 5d Theatre Company presents a comedy about a hapless dreamer who meets a dream woman.

•Tue 22–Thu 24 May, 8pm, £8/£6 Cuss The World A shocking exploration into lives of 21st century teenagers.

•Fri 25–Sun 27 May, 6pm, £7/£5 A Public Kind Of Prviacy Dubbed as a Dr Faustus experience – a rising political star comes face to face with her past.

•Fri 25–Sat 26 May, 8pm, £7/£5 Boutique Theatre Festival burlesque spectacular with sensual striptease and twisted physical theatre.

•Fri 25–Sat 26 May, 10pm, £8/£6 Smoke And Mirrors Three interlocking monlogues about disappointment, hope and strength, relationships, love and loss.

•Sat 26–Sun 27 May, 4pm, £6/£4 Little Howard And The Magic Pencil Of Life And Death Family show combining animation and real life. Little Howard meets his maker – The Pencil of Creation.

•Sat 26–Sun 27 May, 2pm, £5/£4 Thomas Kett’s Odd Tales For kids aged 6–11: Tom imitates the people he’s met, pets he’s owned and his naughty friend Jessie.

•Sat 26–Sun 27 May, 12pm, £5/£4 Don’t Feed The Poets End of festival cabaret with funny wordsmith Rob Gee and more.

•Sun 27 May, 8pm, £6/£5 Spirit Of Gravity Eclectic performances with Brighton’s foremost electronica collective.

•Tue 29 May, 8pm, £4/£3

NEW VENTURE THEATRE, BRIGHTON 01273 746118 www.newventure.org.uk American Buffalo Three small-time crooks plot a midnight robbery, but in the hours leading up to the heist, friendship becomes the victim in a conflict between loyalty and business.

•Tue 22–Sun 27 May, please call for show times and prices

NIGHTINGALE THEATRE, BRIGHTON 01273 702563 www.nightingaletheatre.co.uk Believe by Linda Marlowe Please call or visit the website for more details.

•Tue 22 May, 8pm, £10/£8 Bacon by Pip Utton. Please contact the venue for more information.

• Wed 23–24 May, 8pm, £8.50/£6.50

Aida The magnificent story of war, jealousy and revenge – the doomed love of the beautiful slave girl, Aida, and the Egyptian hero, Radames. Verdi’s classic opera.

•Mon 28–Sat 2 June, 7.30pm plus 2pm Sat, £14.50–£30 Tosca Chisinau National Opera with a company of 170 present Puccini’s Tosca. A stroy of love, torture and treachery set against the backdrop of Rome at its bloodiest.

•Thu 31–Fri 1 June, 7.30pm and 2.30pm Thu, pm, £12.50–£30 Boogie Nights The 10th birthday of the smash hit 1970s muscial on stage in Brighton. Relive the disco hits and boogie on down.

•Mon 4–Sat 9 June, 7.45pm Mon–Wed, 5.30pm and 8.30pm Fri & Sat., price to be confirmed Blonde Bombshells A sparkling musical comedy, Blonde Bombshells of 1943 features classics by Fats Waller, the Andrews Sisters, Ella Fitzgerald and more.

•Mon 11–Sat 16 June, 7.45pm Mon–Wed, 7.45pm, plus 2.30pm Thu & Sat, £15–£24

WORTHING: CONNAUGHT THEATRE 01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk Worthing Musical Comedy Society Presents: Thoroughly Modern Millie Musical set in New York. Discover a brave heroine in this brand new stage version that includes a full score of both old and new songs.

•Tue 22–Sat 26 May, 7.30pm and 2.30pm, mat Wed and Sat, £15/£10 Dangerous Corner Ian Dickens Productions present JB Priestley’s classic drama about Robert Caplan, who insists on uncovering the truth about his brother Martin's suicide. Many revelations ensue.

•Tue 5–Sat 9 June, 7.30pm and 2.30pm mat Wed and Sat, please call for prices

WORTHING: PAVILION THEATRE 01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk Humpty Dumpty And The Incredibly Daring Rescue Of The Alien Princess In Deep Space Half-term fun for kids in the show with one of longest titles ever! Gags, laughs and audience participation.

•Tue 29 May, 2pm, £7.50 The Tale Of Little Red Riding Hood Half-term special telling the classic story of Little Red, Grandma and the wolf. New scenery plus an ultraviolet woodland sequence.

•Thu 31 May, 2pm, £7.50 That’ll Be The Day A feel-good party atmosphere with over 100 songs featuring hits from the 50s, 60s and 70s rock‘ n’ roll era.

•Sun 3 June, 7.45pm, £17–£19 The Secret Land Beneath The Sea The tale of Admiral Gull’s daughter who disguises herself as a cabin boy and runs away to sea. An original story staged as a dance production.

•Sat 9–Sun 10 June, 7pm, plus 2.30pm Sun, £11/£8 The Billie Holliday Story Stage show, with Rain Pryor, daughter of the legendary comedian Richard Pryor portraying Billie Holliday. Starring alongside her is Louis Emerick, known as Mick Johnson from Brookside.

•Mon 11–Wed 13 June, 7.45pm, plus 2.30pm Wed, £16/£14.50, £12.50 matinee The Motown Show Slick and high-energy stage show, recreating the 60s and 70s Motown era, celebrating The Four Tops and The Temptations.

•Fri 15 June, 7.45pm, £16/£14.50

Mahabharata, Theatre Royal, see left for details

THEATRE ROYAL, BRIGHTON 08700 606650 www.theambassadors.com/theatreroyal Mahabharata World premiere of new musical theatre, telling the epic story of ancient India, revealing a mythical world of conflict and beauty.

•Tue 22–Sat 26 May, 7.45pm and 2.30pm Thu and Sat, £16–£23

If you would like your event listed please email listings@thelatest.co.uk

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KIDS

EVENTS

THIS WEEK’S PREVIEWS Knights in action at Arundel Castle

Scalextric dream

Zara Friend finds Scalextric fun for kids at RaceA-Way in Hove, a unique racing centre in Sussex

Hands up all those who want a scalextric set, or wanted one as a child?

Well, now the exciting slot-car racing experience can be enjoyed by all ages and both sexes.

Race-A-Way (RAW) is the first slot car centre in the south of England.

And the good news is it’s right on our doorstep, just a few minutes from the King Alfred Centre on Hove seafront, next to the Ginger Pig pub. If you are seeking to reward or motivate groups, foster team-building skills, celebrate a birthday, anniversary or success, or you are simply looking for a unique and entertaining activity, slot-car racing is great fun for all.

Terry Grover opened RAW in December 2006 after nearly a year of careful planning and the initial response was excellent, with families and groups of friends coming along for a different type of entertainment. He now plans to increase trade mid-week by starting clubs for both children and adults. Terry explains: “The clubs will primarily be for fun, but with the aim of starting some kind of a league, and also as informative sessions teaching, especially youngsters, some of the mechanics of Scalextric for maintenance, repair and tuning of the cars.”

As a chance to live the racing dream – on a smaller scale than Formula 1 – the RAW Scalextric racing facility is great for keeping the kids entertained in a welcoming environment.

The five, four-lane tracks are based around famous British tracks: Goodwood, Brands Hatch, Silverstone, Cadwell Park and a street circuit of Brighton! You get to race 1/32 scale cars on all five circuits, with the number of laps completed counted by a trackside computer.

“There are only two centres like it, that I know of, in the whole of England,” Terry continues enthusiastically. “I have a competition running in May to win a Carrera Aston V12 James Bond 007 Die Another Day Vanquish slot car. I will also be doing a competition in July to tie in with the British Grand Prix to win an F1 car.”

A great place for individuals, families and friends of all ages and abilities, check out RAW for racing fun in the south.

Race-A-Way, 5 Hove Street, Hove, (near the King Alfred Centre). Call 01273 734385 or email terry@race-a-way.co.uk for more information. Alternatively, visit www.race-away.co.uk. Tuesday–Sunday, 12–6pm (closed Monday’s except bank holidays) Booking outside these time can be from 10am to 10pm (last booking 8.30pm) weekdays and Saturday and 10am to 9pm (last booking 7.30pm) Sunday

With another Bank Holiday this weekend – don’t you just love May? – there’s plenty going on in the historic town of Arundel just past Worthing.

Take a step back in time and experience the thrills of a jousting tournament in the grounds of glorious Arundel Castle.

Knights will be competing for glory and visitors can meet both them and their horses and relive the exciting atmosphere that surrounded medieval tournaments in their heyday.

There will be exciting hunting games, skill-at-arms and arming of the knights, as well as the jousting itself.

Award-winning re-enactment group Raven Tor will take up residence in the castle grounds, offering an insight into all aspects of 15th century life. Dressed in character, Raven Tor will present weapons and show the public skills such as weaving and armour-making from their tented encampment.

There’s also an opportunity to have a go at archery!

Arundel Castle,10am-5pm. The historical special events are included in the normal full admission rates which are: £12 for adults, £9.50 for seniors, £7.50 for children or £32 family ticket (2 adults and up to 5 children) for Castle, Fitzalan chapel, gardens, grounds, gift shop and restaurant. Contact Arundel Castle on tel: 01903 882173, www.arundelcastle.org

The Critical Incident Following on from last year’s festival success, The Critical Incident returns this Tuesday 22 May. Fusing together training, workshops, theatre, music, art, research and debate, this is a jampacked festival celebrating all things creative.

The event is suitable for business professionals, people in creative industries and anyone else who has an interest in being informed and entertained!

Workshops and debates focus on a wide range of subjects including ‘How to Write your own Headlines’. Tickets for unlimited participation in all elements of The Critical Incident are only £30/£25. Details of The Critical Incident timetable can be found at www.thecriticalincident.com where there is a full breakdown of all workshops, events, plays and meetings.

The Critical Incident. Tuesday 22 May, 7.30–11pm, Wednesday 23–Thursday 24 May, 10am–11pm, The Freeman Centre, Sussex University.

UPCOMING HIGHLIGHT Bravest Pet In Sussex

To feature in kids email editorial@thelatest.co.uk If you would like your event listed please email listings@thelatest.co.uk

The Priory Emergency Treatment Service (PETS) is on the lookout for the bravest pet in Sussex. Nominate a brave pet you know or own and they could win the Bravest Pet In Sussex Award, to be held later this year and sponsored by Latest 7 magazine.

If you know of a courageous canine who’s had a caesarean or own a fearless feline who’s found its way home after being forgotten, PETS wants to know.

The term ‘bravest’ pet means different things to different people, and PETS wants you to interpret ‘brave’ whichever way you like. They see a variety of medical and surgical conditions that need to be overcome, both physically and emotionally by the pet.

Any pet, large or small, young or old, could win the title of Bravest Pet in Sussex. If you know one that deserves the title log on to www.petsbrighton.com, sign up for their free monthly newsletter, and you’ll receive instructions on how to nominate soon.

The chosen finalists will be put forward for a public online vote, and the winner chosen later on this summer at the Annual PETS Garden Party in September.

Zara Friend latest 7 37

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ART

See more at latest-art.co.uk O CONTEMPORARY

JENNIE RICKETTS GALLERY

Trafalgar Street, Brighton 01273 698500 John Simpson Long-awaited first show by this highly collectable artist, whose influences range from the urban to Goya and Redon. Until 17 June.

Mixed Show Painting, photography and limited edition signed prints by artists such as Brian Jones, Takashi Murakami, Bridget Riley and Marcos Torres. Until 17 June, Tue–Fri 10am–5.30pm, Sat 10am–6pm, Sun 12am–5pm

8 Arundel Mews, Arundel Place, Brighton 01273 232921 Beatrice Haverich Photographs of trees from the book The Whisper Of A Million Leaves by Brighton-based Haverich, which highlights the resilience of trees despite some immense environmental challenges. Until 31 May, Tues–Fri 11am–6pm, Sat 12–6pm

PHOENIX GALLERY

Chapel Road, Worthing 01903 221448 Luke Dickinson Sensual stone carvings.

Until 23 Jun Tues-Sat, 10am-5pm Water, Water Everywhere 40 treasures from the museum’s stores, exploring watery themes.

Until 16 Jun, Tues–Sat 10am–5pm

Waterloo Place, Brighton 01273 603700 Double Acts A celebration and mini-survey of collaborative practice in the UK today, featuring work and new commissions by Ayling and Conroy, Karin Kihlberg and Reuben Henry, The Library Of Unwritten Books and much more.

Until 9 June, Tue–Sat 11am–5pm

WORTHING MUSEUM AND ART GALLERY

Animal behaviour Now having his first ever solo show, John Simpson’s prints and drawings originally made an impact with installations for streetwear brands and collaborations with fashion designer Wale Adeyemi.

His imagery fuses the graphic traditions of artists such as Francisco Goya and Odilon Redon with modern street graphics. He then uses the print process to extend the possibilities of drawing, using anything that applies pressure to the surface, even his hands.

Throughout his work, Simpson explores his interest in animal symbolism, human identity and anthropomorphism, inspired by folk tales and the history of imagery in narrative graphic art.

This show brings together new work in the form of limited edition lambda prints (restricted to ten) and handmade monoprints.

John Simpson: New Work, O Contemporary, Trafalgar Street, until 17 June

ART LISTINGS UNIT 03 GALLERY

CRANE KALMAN, BRIGHTON

20 Wellington Road, Portslade 01273 417741 Barry Surtees New art gallery with opening exhibition featuring Barry Surtees’ vibrant and abstract 3D canvases, plus there is work by Patsy Palmer, Chris Ellison and Phil Tufnell.

Until 27 May, open every weekend 11am–6pm

Kensington Gardens, Brighton 01273 697096 Mary McCartney A photographic study of the Royal ballet, after hours! Until 17 June, Mon–Sat 10am–6pm, Sun 10.30am–4.30pm

BRIGHTON MEDIA CENTRE 15-17 Middle Street, Brighton 01273 201100 Cradle to Cradle Environmental artist Sally Kidall transforms an urban courtyard with one of her inventive, unpredictable and living installations, using a wide range of unstable and vulnerable materials. Until 28 May, Mon–Fri 9am–6pm

BRIGHTON MUSEUM AND ART GALLERY Church Street, Brighton 01273 290200 Rogues Gallery: Images of Crime and Punishment Display of popular prints featuring notorious crimes and punishments, mainly from the 18th and 19th centuries, including real-life murderers. Until 30 September Nicholas Sinclair – Six Public Telephones Six dramatic photographs taken in a subway station in Budapest by local photographer. Until 5 Aug, Tues 10am–7pm, Wed–Sat 10am–5pm, Sun 2–5pm Stagestruck! 200 years of the Theatre Royal by way of vintage prints and photographs, costumes and props, and reconstructions of ‘special effects’ of the 19th century stage.

Until 2 September

CHALK GALLERY North Street, Lewes 01273 474477 21 professional artists from across all media.

Featuring Edith Barton – humourous and textural 3D artist. Mon–Sun 10am–5pm 38 latest 7

GREY AREA Lower Ground Floor, 31 Queens Road, Brighton Bob & Roberta Smith On 5 May the artist re-enacted JMW Turner’s heroism by tying himself to the mast of his floating studio, from where he performed readings of the stories painted on the studio. The floating studio was then transported to the gallery and is being exhibited with a film of the performance. Until 27 May, Wed–Sun, 1–5pm

HOVE MUSEUM AND ART GALLERY New Church Road, Hove 01273 290200 Paper Cuts Eight artists employ paper-cutting techniques to reflect on our culture and environment. Paper cutting has been used by different cultures throughout history to mark events and religious occasions, and the delicate nature of paper relates to our vulnerability, dreams and ambitions.

Until 1 July Susan Edwards Unwanted books that have been transformed into paper sculptures.

Until 1 July, Wed–Sat 11.30am–5pm, Sun 2–5pm

NORTH LAINE PHOTOGRAPHY GALLERY Upstairs, Snooper’s Paradise, Kensington Gardens, Brighton 01273 686506 Petrusco Finalist in the 2006 ‘Essence of Brighton & Hove’ competition has his first solo exhibition. Until 31 May, Mon–Sat 10.15am–5.45pm, Sun 10.15am–3.45pm

Nicolas Sinclair @ Brighton Museum & Art Gallery

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LISTINGS

YOUR COMPLETE LISTINGS GUIDE STARTS HERE

latestlistings The hottest tickets for the week ahead 22–28 May Charles Mingus

That fantastic Japanese mime duo – offering so much more than words – are back, with a brandnew show. Don’t miss the standout hit of last year’s festival.

Komedia, 23-27 May, various times, £12.50- £15

★FESTIVAL★

Latest 7 Festival & Fringe Awards Award-winning TV comic Jimmy Carr comperes this collection of the best of the festival, with snippets from all of the big-hitting shows. This’ll round-off the bank holiday with a bang.

Udderbelly, Brighton, 28 May, 9pm, £20/£15

★DANCE★

Breakin’ Convention Sadler’s Wells’ Hip Hop Dance Theatre Festival brings together national and international artists including Electric Boogaloos.

Brighton Dome, 25 & 26 May, 8pm, £10–£20

★MUSIC★

Mingus Big Band Fourteen-piece band do a fine job of keeping the phenomenal Charles Mingus legacy alive.

Brighton Dome, 23 May, 8pm, £18-£22.50

★MUSIC★

Jess Klein + The Jamestown Union + The Bluehearts Americana vibes with Brighton’s own Jamestown Union and The Bluehearts, and their special guest, Jess Klein from the USA. Sussex Arts Club, 24 May, 8pm, £8/£7

★MUSIC★

Breakin’ Convention

Rose Royce + Three Degrees + Tavares + Odyssey + George McRae Disco heaven with some of the biggest sellers of the disco era, and some of the best-known tunes including ‘Car Wash’, ‘Can You Feel The Force’ and ‘Going Back To My Roots’.

Brighton Centre, 25 May, 7.30pm, £32.50

★COMEDY★

Gamarjobat – Rock ’n’ Roll Penguin Gamarjobat

For venue details see page 48 latest 7 39

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Need a music video making or a gig filmed?

Page 2

Under review We tell it like it was – a round-up of recent local shows

Call Artforms Productions Ltd - The production company behind all the filming for Latest 7, Latest Homes and Latest Records.

Julie Andrews

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Whether you’re rock, indie, hip-hop or folk, we will create the right video for you.

All budgets catered for – from glossy MTV-style videos to filming pub gigs for your myspace page.

Ring Stef now for a quote and examples of our work.

07712 588136 or artformstef@gmail.com

Bill Hicks: Slight Return

Bill Hicks: Slight Return “You’re not Bill Hicks! ...Parasite! ...Where does the money go?!”

Such heckling of Chas Early’s studied portrayal of Hicks was understandable. Bill inspired devotion for his ideals as well as his jokes. It is only natural that fans would be suspicious. But Early is a fan too and responded: “What did you expect to see? The real Bill Hicks?!” This is a brave attempt to keep Bill’s memory alive. Some of the money goes to The Bill Hicks Foundation for the Protection of Wildlife Rehabilitation, and to his family.

Udderbelly, 5 May ✌✌✌✌ James Holland

Liberace Of Baghdad Think of Nosferatu; think of Saddam Hussein: then meet Samir Peter, former concert pianist to the stars in Iraq, reduced to playing virtuoso performances from a basement hotel lounge with bombs dropping all around him. This beautifully elegant, on-the-fly documentary from Sean McAllister takes us on a road trip through the chaos of a country torn apart by war. Through the eyes of an entirely charismatic artist we come to feel the effects of the economic sanctions, the allied occupation and the alarming toll of daily lives lost. A brilliant portrait of the human cost of a truly unholy war.

The Old Ship Hotel, 6 May ✌✌✌✌✌ Colette Meacher

Maydays: The Musical The Maydays were already a highly respected improvisational troupe long before they introduced music into the mix.

Good just got even better.

Starting with a warm-up of regular Mayday improv games, calling for words and objects from the audience, the tone was set for quick-thinking and hilarious displays

40 latest 7

Cave, the sometimes haunting lyricism of folk and, one of my alltime favourites, Thin White Rope.

Dave Bramwell made a guest appearance, while French-born Ben Blake did a superb solo version of a Brel song. A mesmerising, confident and accomplished band with a bagful of good songs that added up to more than the sum of its parts.

Joogleberry Playhouse, 13 May ✌✌✌✌

of wit. After a short break, the musical element was introduced, bringing the more disciplined structure of a beginning, middle and end – rather than fun and then abandonment. These guys were excellent, with a ballad to broken pets, an upbeat song and dance number, but sustaining all of the funny quips of the straight Maydays improv. This showed just how clever and entertaining people can be even without a script.

Komedia Studio, 4 May ✌✌✌✌ Victoria Nangle

Desperate Ones The enduring legacy of Jacques Brel shines through bands such as this. A large, but ever-changing ensemble, and led by the shimmering vocals of raven-haired Eliza Skelton, they come across not as desperate, but as lighthearted lovers of all things macabre, gloomy and dark. Brel is really just a starting point – they are also in love with the surreal spag westerns of Ennio Morricone, the gothic hues of Velvet Underground and Nick

Robin Ince Ricky Gervais’s support act and tour victim is surprisingly energetic when he hits the stage, rattling off his set at a frenetic pace. As a bookish middle-class, middle-aged man his arch-enemies are impertinent youths, burly men and Daily Mail readers, all of whom are dispatched with literary allusions and dark surreal tangents. Ince is intelligent and endearing and although he does not snap out a list of gags, it is a pleasure to share his company for a while and listen to his thoughts.

The Marlborough Theatre, 9 May ✌✌✌✌ James Holland

Off The Cuff This latest comedy improv troupe, from Sussex University, all demonstrated strong performance potential. However, the various themes for improvisation were not thought out as well as they might have been, and the show lurched incongruously from the subjects of joyriding to phone booths to jam.

I’ve learned myself, first hand, that the relationship of scenes to each other is the quintessential element that keeps the fire of improvised comedy burning, along with knowing when to say ‘cut’. That said, these guys and gals were never short of commitment, even if only mildly amusing.

Hobgoblin, 10 May ✌✌ Mark David Robin Ince

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tuesday 22 Scout Niblett, Komedia, 8.30pm

Live music Blue Note Jazz 1955-65 Seven jazz musicians celebrate Blue Note’s golden age with the music of Miles Davis, Coltrane and others. Prince Albert, 8.30pm, £9/£7 From Autumn To Ashes 14+ ages show for this American hardcore emo outfit. Pressure Point, 8pm, £9 Johnny Lloyd Rollins + Sam Isaacs + The Wonderfuls Slick 1950s-style Texas rock’n’roller supported by local goovesters The Wonderfuls. Sanctuary Cella, 8pm, £5 My Club Local bands. Concorde 2, 7.30pm, free Neil Cowley Trio Prodigious pianist who previously made a name for himself via the Brand New Heavies and Zero 7. Now he’s venturing into the territory inhabited by the likes of Acoustic Ladyland, Bill Evans and EST. Pavilion Theatre, 1pm, £7.50 Open mic Brunswick, 8pm, free Raissa & The Mummers Orchestral sounds from new Brighton collective. Joogleberry Playhouse, 8pm, £7/£5 Scout Niblett A pretty girl in a wig playing the drums and electric guitar and singing so loudly and gleefully it sounds like her lungs might burst. A cult hit from the USA. Komedia, 8.30pm, £8/£6 Talkestra Play New Music Talkestra ‘talk’ you through the mysteries behind the creation of new work. Unitarian Church, 8pm, £8/£6 Three Plus One Jazz. Arthouse, 8.30pm, free Zombina & The Skeletones Flesh-eating pop, punk and rockabilly craziness. Part of Boogaloo Stu’s Cavalcade Of Pop club night. Po Na Na, 9.30pm, £4/£3

Bars and clubs Arc Expelled. Multi-genre student mash-up.

10.30pm–3am, £2/£1 before 10.30pm Audio Snide. Indie tunes old and new at this super-cool night for tight-jeaned young things.

10pm–2am, £2 Belushi’s Revision. Student night with drink promos. 9pm–3am, free with NUS card Caroline Of Brunswick Quiz. 8.30pm, £1 Casablanca Tequila Tuesday. Party tunes with DJ Scotty Le Funk. 10.30pm–3am, free check with venue before travelling. ➧ Please See our venue directory for details

Creation S.E.X. Big night of alcohol-fuelled dancefloor mayhem in exile from the Event 2.

10pm–2am, £3/free before 11pm Funky Buddha Lounge Kinky Robot. Various shades of house, electro, breaks and techno.

10.30pm–3am, £3/free before 11pm The Jazz Place Roots Garden. Reggae and roots sounds all night long. 10pm–2am, £3.50/£2/£2.50 Ocean Rooms Sunset Sessions. Funky house behaviour with drinks promos and other wacky stuff. £3/£2/free before 11pm Po Na Na Cavalcade Of Pop. Wonky pop with Brighton legend Boogaloo Stu. 9.30pm–3.30am, £4 Suga Qube Industry. Weekly blow-out for Brighton’s hard-working bar workers and their slack mates. 9pm–2am, free The Zap Smash Hits. DJs Sean Quinn and Mr P throw out top pop classics. Great fun.

10pm–3am, £3/£2/free before 11pm

Gay Bulldog Kruz. Strictly men only night, with DJ Justin K playing the latest dance music.

11pm–2am, free Legends Dance Toxic. Selected drinks £2 each.

11pm–4am, free Marine Tavern Nat’s Quiz Night. 9pm Marlborough Ladies’ Night. Open till 12am Queen’s Arms Crooners Lounge. Piano bar with complementary sandwiches. 2.30–11.30pm, free R–Bar Student night. Cabaret with Lady James at 9.30pm. Discounted tickets for Revenge.

9pm–2am, free Revenge Student night. 10.30pm–3am, free Vavoom Your choice videos. Open till 4am V2 club Music videos upstairs and karaoke downstairs until 12am. 10pm–late, free The Zone Piano bar. 1pm–12am, free

Theatre American Buffalo David Mamet’s play exploring the clash between business and friendship. New Venture Theatre, please call for show times and prices Believe by Linda Marlowe. Please call or visit

the website – www.nightingaletheatre.co.uk – for more details. Nightingale Theatre, 8pm, £10/£8 Blue/Orange Two psychiatrists argue over the diagnosis of a patient who claims to be the son of Idi Amin. Brighton Little Theatre, please book through Brighton Festival website The Elevator Man 5d Theatre Company presents a comedy about a hapless dreamer who meets a dream woman. Marlborough Theatre, 8pm, £8/£6 Mahabharata World premiere of a new musical telling the epic story of ancient India.

Theatre Royal Brighton, 7.45pm, £16–£23 Pre-Paradise, Sorry Now German playwright Rainer Werner Fassbinder’s rarely performed masterpiece: a controversial world of pimps, thugs and human experiments. Ages 18+. The Hope, 7.30–9pm, £5 Tales From The Shed Colourful characters and fun stories in an interactive performance for under 5s and their families. The Udderbelly, 1pm, £6/£4 This Way For The Gas, Ladies and Gentleman Astonishing musical about Darfur and Auschwitz. The Udderbelly, 7pm, £10/£6 Whatever Happened To Lyn Roe? Exploring the mystery and legend of the sex symbol of the 50s and 60s. Sussex Arts Club, 9–9.45pm, £12/£10 Worthing Musical Comedy Society Presents: Thoroughly Modern Millie Classic musical set in New York in the 1920s. This brand new stage version includes a full score of both old and new songs. Worthing Connaught Theatre, 7.30pm, £15/£10

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Comedy Andrew O’Neill – Winston Churchill Was Jack The Ripper The long-haired comic explains one of his more bizarre historical theories. Marlborough Theatre, 9.30pm, £6/£5 Blame Us Drama-based comedic sketches about young trainee executives. Marlborough Theatre, 6.30pm, £5 The Interlopers – Let Us Blow Your Lines Improv mayhem. No script, no props, no idea what will happen next. (Adults only). Cella at Sanctuary Cafe, 6pm, £5/£4 Jo Neary’s Little Moments One talented woman with an abundance of characters.

Komedia, 7.30pm, £10/£8 Taylor Mac Described as ‘a flamboyant chameleon of words, music and sociopolitical tirades’, and ‘comedy’s answer to David Bowie’.

A unique experience. Komedia, 9.45pm, £12.50/£10.50

Events Brighton Victorian Sewers Tour Southern Water take you on a tour of Brighton with a difference. Meet under Brighton Pier, 6.30–7.30pm, £10/£7.50/£5 The Critical Incident Three-day celebration of creativity and innovation with live and recorded performance, literature, art and debate. The Freemans Centre, 7.30–11pm, £30/£25 for the three days Most Haunted Old Town Venture out to explore Brighton’s oldest and spookiest streets and alleys. Meet Brighton Town Hall, 8–9.20pm, £5.50 The Old Police Cells Museum Visit the old cells, where Constable Solomon was murdered by a prisoner in 1844, and view the collection of police memorabilia and artefacts.

The Old Police Cells Museum, 10.30am and 11.30am, free Shami Chakrabarti Join Shami Chakrabarti, barrister turned civil rights campaigner as she addresses the protection of civic and personal liberties. Brighton Dome, 7.30pm, £7.50 Visions Of Our Future STEPS Research Centre members debate how science and technology can contribute to poverty reduction. Jubilee Library, 6–7.30pm, £3

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Live music Acapella etc Local a capella girl group Decibelle (get it?) plus musicians on fiddle, bass, piano and guitar play a mix of musical styles including Gaelic, jazz, Spanish and satirical close-harmonies! St Andrew’s Church, Waterloo Street, Hove, 7.30pm, £6/£4 Beats & Pieces + The Squadron Leaders + Extravagatron Local indie bands, with funkpop from the headliners. Pav Tav, 8pm, free Ben Poole + Lethal Fixx + Vamps & Gypsies + Mama Hoochie Bang White Noise rock night. Pressure Point, 8pm, £4/£3 Children Of Voodoo + Stasi + MC Cashback Experimental rock and hip hop collide for a night of underground vibes. Hope, 8pm, £4/£3 Circle Of Friends Acoustic night with local singer-songwriters. Cosmopolitan Bar, 8.30pm, free The Legendary Bee’s Mouth Open Mic Arthouse, 8.30pm, free Manlouch Trio Gypsy jazz. Brunswick, 8pm, £3 Mingus Big Band 14-piece band keeping the phenomenal Charles Mingus legacy alive.

Brighton Dome, 8pm, £18–£22.50 Naked Voices + Geoff Robb Unaccompanied songs from Brighton’s Naked Voices plus classical guitarist Robb. Old Market, 8pm, £8/£6 Open mic London Unity, 9pm, free Royal String Quartet Warsaw Music Academy graduates perform Haydn and Beethoven.

Pavilion Theatre, 1pm, £7.50 Tudo Bem Brazilian sounds: from bossa nova to samba funk. Joogleberry, 7.30pm, £5/£4 Wednesday Night Originals Weekly showcase of local bands. Portland, 7.30pm, £3

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Arc Don’t Tell Ya Mum And Dad. Electro, space crunk (eh?) and indie mix. 10pm–late, £3/£2 Audio Supercharged. Top breaks and beats action from the one and only Kid Kinobe.

10.30pm–2.30am, £5/£3 The Beach Born In The 80s. The decade we all love to hate, or is it hate to love? 10pm–late, £3/80p Casablanca Fun Ki Disco. Two floors of upbeat funkery. 9.30pm–2am, £2/£1/free before 11pm Funky Buddha Lounge Sabotage. Indie rock stylings for lovers of all things guitar-based.

10.30pm–3am, £2 Honeyclub No Nonsense. Official night of the University of Sussex SU Sports Federation.

10pm–3am, £5/£2.50 KooKlub Current and classic indie gets an airing. 10pm–3am, £3 Suga Qube Funk N Stuff. Raregroove, funk, disco and house from DJ Dave Morpeth. Free Sussex Coaster Quiz – 10 rounds, wine for the

winners! 8.30pm, 50p per person Volks Tramps With Amps. Electroclash, breaks plus drum and bass from Lux and friends.

10pm–3am, £4/£3

Gay Bulldog BBB. It stands for Bulldog Brighton Bears. 11pm–2am, free Caledonian 2 Dave Lynn – cabaret. 9.30pm Marlborough Quiz. Prizes for winners. 8pm The PV Quiz. 8pm Queen’s Arms Midweek Cabaret Party. With Mandy Muden and DJ Andy B. 9.00pm R-Bar Go Double Baby. From 9pm, any double is just £1 extra. Open till 2am Revenge Strut your stuff at 1970s heaven.

Selected drinks just £1.50. 10.30pm–3am, free entry if dressed to theme or £3/£2 before 11pm Vavoom Your choice videos. Happy hour till 6pm. Open till 4am V2 Club Music videos upstairs and karaoke downstairs until 12am. 10pm–late The Zone 50s, 60s and 70s sounds. Open till 12am

Theatre American Buffalo David Mamet’s play exploring the clash between business and friendship. New Venture Theatre, please call for show times and prices Bacon by Pip Utton. Please contact the venue for more information. Nightingale Theatre, 8pm, £8.50/£6.50 Blue/Orange Two psychiatrists argue over the diagnosis of a patient who claims to be the son of Idi Amin. Brighton Little Theatre, please book through Brighton Festival website The Elevator Man 5d Theatre Company presents a comedy about a hapless dreamer who meets a dream woman. Marlborough Theatre, 8pm, £8/£6 Mahabharata World premiere of a new musical telling the epic story of ancient India.

Theatre Royal Brighton, 7.45pm, £16–£23 Polly Deluxe, It’s All About Me The story of Polly, told by Polly (reality TV/Eurovision star).

Grand Parade Foyer, University of Brighton, 7–8pm, £5 This Way For The Gas, Ladies and Gentleman Astonishing musical about Darfur and Auschwitz. The Udderbelly, 7pm, £10/£6 Whatever Happened To Lyn Roe? Exploring the mystery and legend of the sex symbol of the 50s and 60s. Sussex Arts Club, 9–9.45pm, £12/£10 Worthing Musical Comedy Society Presents: Thoroughly Modern Millie Classic musical set in New York in the 1920s. This

brand-new stage version includes a full score of both old and new songs. Worthing Connaught Theatre, 2.30pm and 7.30pm, £15/£10

Comedy Blame Us Drama-based comedic sketches about young trainee executives. Marlborough Theatre, 6.30pm, £5 Cannon And Ball A chance to see the double act who have been in show business for over 40 years. The Capitol, Horsham, please call for times and prices Gamarjobat – Rock ’N’ Roll Penguin The fantastic Japanese mime duo are back with a brand new show. Don’t miss the stand-out hit of last year’s festival. Komedia, 7.30pm, £12.50/£10.50 Taylor Mac Described as ‘a flamboyant chameleon of words, music and sociopolitical tirades’, and ‘comedy’s answer to David Bowie’.

A unique experience. Komedia, 9.45pm, £12.50/£10.50 New Act Night The graduates from this term’s Jill Edwards Beginners Stand-Up Comedy Class prove their mettle. Komedia, 8pm, £7/£5 Late Night Raw Raw’s usual mix of comedy, music and spoken word taking you later into the night. Joogleberry Playhouse, 11pm, £3, free to Fringe performers The Interlopers – Let Us Blow Your Lines Improv mayhem. No script, no props, no idea what’ll happen next. (Adults only). Cella at Sanctuary Cafe, 6pm, £5/£4

Events The Critical Incident See Tuesday 22. The Freemans Centre, 10am–11pm, £30/£25 for the three days Exploring Kemp Town Village A walk between Rock Gardens and Sussex Square, an area full of character and historic interest.

Meet St George’s Church, 2.30–4pm, £5 Leslie Phillips Say ‘heeello’ to a true British movie legend, perhaps best-known as the suave English rogue in the early Carry On films. Brighton Dome, 7pm, £7.50 The Old Police Cells Museum See Tuesday 22. The Old Police Cells Museum, 10.30am and 11.30am, free Pathways Into Darwin’s World: Life, Text And Art Discussing themes and theories in Darwin’s work with artists and historians.

Friends’ Meeting House, 7.30–9.30pm, £4/£2 Visions Of Our Future Peter Kaufman explores the factors that cause the ups and downs in our happiness and wellbeing. The Freeman Centre, 1–2.30pm, free check with venue before travelling. ➧ Please See our venue directory for details

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thursday 24 Live music Are You Taking The Mic? Original performers only, no covers for this open mic night. Register by emailing andersdmoney@yahoo.co.uk.

Providence, 8pm, free Gaurav Mazumdar Indian sitar master who developed under the wing of Ravi Shankar.

Pavilion Theatre, 1pm, £7.50 G4 Final chance to see the hunky pop-opera boys who recently announced their imminent split. Brighton Centre, 7.30pm, £28.50 The Grams + Third Time Lucky + Lazy Baby Indie-rock hopefuls. Pav Tav, 8pm, free Jess Klein + Jamestown Union + The Bluehearts Americana vibes with Brighton’s own Jamestown Union and The Bluehearts and their special guest Jesse Klein from the USA. Sussex Arts Club, 8pm, £8/£7 Letz Zep Authentic Led Zeppelin tribute band.

Concorde 2, 7.30pm, £12/£10 Mr Eugene Poet and troubadour who will be performing with Nickova in a unique ‘interactivation’ between his violin playing and her expressive painting. Caroline Of Brunswick, 8pm, £6/£5 Oom ‘Glitch’ rock band featuring vocalist Debbie Clare, who has sung for Massive Attack.

Prince Albert, 8pm, free Paris Bianco + The Le Brocks + Slow Graffiti + The Great Outdoors Cable Club local band night. Pressure Point, 8pm, £4/£3 Positive Noise Hosted by RedZebra and supporting Christian Aid’s HIV/AIDS work, this promises to be an energetic, unforgettable experience of audience participation Afro-beat, samba, gospel and body percussion. No musical experience required. Dorset Gardens Methodist Church, 7.30pm, £5/£3 Scott Hamilton + Alan Barnes Quintet Echoes of Ben Webster and Coleman Hawkins.

Old Market, 8pm, £15 Steve Knightley One half of Show Of Hands and former guitar teacher to PJ Harvey, Knightley is a prolific and talented songwriter with an astounding voice. Komedia, 8pm, £12 Tim Laycock + Mike Nicholson + Will Duke + Dan Quinn Lewes Folk Club event. Royal Oak, Lewes, 8pm, £7.50 Wood’n’Juice + Parody Indie rockers. Hope, 8pm, £5

Bars and clubs Audio Dynamite Boogaloo. Legendary pop/kitsch blow-out, popular with students.

10pm–2am, £4/£3 Barfly @ Brighton Gloucester Mad For It. Indie and boozey behaviour from Lout Promotions. 10pm–2am, £3/£1.50 The Beach Big Toons. House, dance and R’n‘B classics with The Brighton Allstars. 10.30pm–3am, £4/free before 11pm Casablanca Sambanation. Sunny Brazilian flavours. 9.30pm–2am, £2/£1 Cosmopolitan Bar Spinner Stays On. If the DJ’s good enough to stay on, let them know!

If not, vote them off. Don’t throw cabbages, hot Bovril or gravel though, you might damage the decks. 7.30pm, free Creation Floorfillers. Pop encounters of the very biggest and boldest kind. 10pm–2am, £2/90p Funky Buddha Lounge Warm Your Soul.

Classic soul and funk for a slinky night out.

10pm–3am, £2/free Heist Mr Bongo Recordings. Night of sultry Afro jazz and soul. 9pm–late, free Honeyclub Contagious. Classic house from way back. 10pm–late, £4/£2 KooKlub Hellenic Unity. Upfront blend of house, R&B and Reggaeton. 10pm–3am, £5 Pav Tav The Resurrection. Indie for the masses in this popular, centrally-located sweatbox.

10pm–2am, £3/£1.50 Suga Qube Soulful and slamming beats from Lee Garrett and friends. 9pm–2am, free Volks French Connection. Embedded and Sam Wise play acid and wonky electro.

10.30pm–3am, £4/£3 check with venue before travelling. ➧ Please See our venue directory for details

The Zap Chopper Choons. Kitsch and cool 70s grooves and hip hop for sweaty students.

10pm–3am, £4/free for NUS

Gay Bulldog Cabaret Night. Hosted by Joe MC Joe. 11pm–2am, free Charles Street Bar Mad Cow. Super-cheap drinks at this popular night. 8–11pm, £1 Charles Street Club Religion. House night hosted by Joan Bond with DJs Richard Jones and Tony B on the decks. 10.30pm–3am, £5/£4 flyer/£3 NUS. HQ Quiz and gameshow with Lady James.

8pm–2am, free Legends Dance Squeeze. 11pm–4am, free Marine Tavern Man Trap. 12pm–12am Marlborough Dragaphone, Pride fundraiser.

Live music and comedy. 12pm-12am, £1 Queen’s Arms Shag Tag! Plus karaoke with Betty. 9pm R-Bar Cabaret with Maisie Trollette and John Bruzon. 9.30pm Revenge Manzone. Back by popular demand!

Strictly men only. Stripper from midnight.

10.30pm–3am, £2 Star Inn Big Quiz. Open till midnight Vavoom Thirsty Thursday. Music videos all night long. Open till 4am V2 Club Music videos upstairs and karaoke downstairs until 12am. Open 10pm–late The Zone Piano bar. Open 1pm–12am

Theatre American Buffalo David Mamet’s play exploring the clash between business and friendship. New Venture Theatre, please call for show times and prices Bacon by Pip Utton. Please contact the venue for more information. Nightingale Theatre, 8pm, £8.50/£6.50 Blue/Orange Two psychiatrists argue over the diagnosis of a patient who claims to be the son of Idi Amin. Brighton Little Theatre, please book through Brighton Festival website The Elevator Man 5d Theatre Company presents a comedy about a hapless dreamer who meets a dream woman. Marlborough Theatre, 8pm, £8/£6 Five Years Of Happiness Dealing with themes of intimacy and voyeurism, the windows of the Old Ship Hotel light up with the performance of a woman’s love tragedy. The audience watch this performance from a building across the street. Sussex Arts Club, 8pm & 9.30pm, £12/£10 Hysteria An awkward dinner date with an academic whose research is threatening his sanity and an events manager who is terrified of missing the party. Komedia, 8pm, £12.50/£10.50 Mahabharata World premiere of a new musical telling the epic story of ancient India.

Theatre Royal Brighton, 2.30pm and 7.45pm, £16–£23 Polly Deluxe, It’s All About Me The story of Polly, told by Polly (reality TV/Eurovision star).

Grand Parade Foyer, University of Brighton, 7–8pm, £5 Thoroughly Modern Millie Classic musical set in New York in the 1920s. Eastbourne Devonshire Park, 7.30pm, £12/£10 Worthing Musical Comedy Society Presents: Thoroughly Modern Millie Classic musical set in New York in the 1920s. This brand new stage version includes a full score of both old and new songs. Worthing Connaught Theatre, 7.30pm, £15/£10

last year’s festival. Komedia, 6pm, £12.50/£10.50 Stephen Grant: Attention To Detail Krater Club founder and regular compere Grant revels in his pendantic side, picking holes in deeply held beliefs and over-analysing trivia in his brand new show. Komedia, 10pm, £12.50/£10 The Power Of 3 Three gents, three ideas from an audience and three unique situations – put ’em together and you’ll get: ‘funny’. Pokeno Pies, 9pm, £3/£2

Events Art And Craft Classes For children aged 18 months to five years old. A fun weekly class, letting youngsters explore their creativity.

Malling Community Centre, Lewes. For more info/to book please call 01273 488616.

Brighton Horror Walk Not for the fainthearted – ghoulish accounts of the city’s illustrious past.

Meet Royal Pavilion South Gate, 8–9.20pm, £5.50 Brighton Victorian Sewers Tour See Tuesday 22. Meet under Brighton Pier, 6.30–7.30pm, £10/£7.50/£5 Catalyst Club Special: Tom Hodgkinson The co-founder of Idler magazine on ‘How To Be Free’. Practical ways to free yourself from debt, guilt and unhappiness! Ages 18+. Joogleberry Playhouse, 8–11pm, £8 The Critical Incident See Tuesday 22. The Freemans Centre, 10am–11pm, £30/£25 for the three days Global Development: Small World, Same Difference Local Treatment Citizens: Global Aids Activists. Discussing what role there is for local activists in global policy. Jubilee Library, 6.30–8pm, £3 The Old Police Cells Museum See Tuesday 22. The Old Police Cells Museum, 10.30am and 11.30am, free Polestars Taster Class For women. Fun poledancing fitness workout taster session. Check out their website for courses starting in Brighton. Circus Circus, Brighton. Call 0207 274 4865 for more information or visit www.polestars.net

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Comedy Blame Us Drama-based comedic sketches about young trainee executives. Marlborough Theatre, 6.30pm, £5 Gamarjobat – Rock ’N’ Roll Penguin The fantastic Japanese mime duo are back with a brand new show. Don’t miss the stand-out hit of

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Barron Brady Interpreters of English folk song and contemporary folk songwriters. The Beachcomber, Seaford, 8.15pm, £tbc Café Noir Cabaret night featuring Mandy & The Magdalenas. Brunswick, 8pm, £8/£6 Dave Ellis Promoting new CD Travellin’ Riverside Blues. Neptune, 8.30pm, free Deadbeat Descendant Contort Yourself night with live bands and DJs playing ‘no wave’, surf, psych, freakbeat, garage, etc. Hope, 8pm, £2.50 John Myerscough & Alasdair Beatson Award-winning cellist and pianist come together for a performance featuring Bach, Mendelssohn and Brahms. Pavilion Theatre, 1pm, £7.50 Los Albertos Blarin’ brass and kickin’ ska from Brighton legends. Joogleberry Playhouse, 8pm, £8 No Jacket Required Fully staged Phil Collins tribute. Concorde 2, 7.30pm, £10 Pip Pyle’s Bash A Brighton Jazz Club event.

Sussex Arts Club, 7.30pm, £12/£10 Rachel Fryer Piano works from Eastern Europe including Scriabin, Suk, Chopin and Rachmaninov. St. Luke’s Church, 7.30pm, £8/£5 Rose Royce + Tavares + The Three Degrees + Odyssey + The Real Thing + George McRae Disco heaven with some of the era’s biggest names. Brighton Centre, 7.30pm, £32.50 Ska Toons Brighton ska-jazz band present their big band side. Old Market, 8pm, £10/£8 Until Escape + Alarum Within + Origin Local moody rock crew headline. Providence, 8pm, £1

Bars and clubs Ali Cats Flow. Electro, breaks and booty bass in this subterranean hangout. 8pm–12am, free Arc Candy. Hip hop, soul and ragga featuring resident DJs Da Playaz. 10.30pm–4am, £8/£5 before 12am Audio Positive Sounds. The original Brighton soundsystem play breaks and beats. 11pm–4am, £tbc Barfly @ Brighton Gloucester Kick Out the Jams. Butt-kicking, reliably popular indie night.

10.30pm–2am, £4/£3 The Beach Narni Shakedown. Old skool jungle including Fabio & Grooverider and Kenny Ken. 10.30pm–6am, £7 Belushi’s Madness. Sexy chart cheese and club classics. £2 selected drinks until midnight.

10pm–3am, free Casablanca Mirror Ball. Funky disco, as you would expect. 10.30pm–3am, £6/£5/£4 Concorde 2 Insight Dynamiks. Trance from Reality Grid and Freaky Frequency. 12am–late, £10 Core Club Mo Money. Hip hop with Bill Blast and mates. 10pm–4am, £8/£5 Cosmopolitan All Time Top 100. One of Brighton’s most diverse music-focused nights out. 8pm–2am, free Creation Popdaparty. Three rooms of commercial tunery to cop off to. 9pm–3am, £5/free before 11pm Engine Rooms Deviant. Alternative sounds.

11pm–3am, £5/£4 Funky Buddha Lounge Thank Funk It’s Friday.

Funk and soul with DJs Sean Quinn and Stuart Ross. 10pm–3am, £8/£6 before 11pm Funky Buddha Lounge 3am Nocturnal. Top notch house with Ash Huntingdon DJing till dawn. 3–8am, £8/£5 Funky Fish Funk, soul and classic rock ‘n’ roll with a party vibe. 10pm–3am, £6/£5 before 11

Honeyclub Seven Sins Special. Pumping house and driving electro from superstar DJ Paul Van Dyke. 10.30pm–5am, £tbc Jazz Place Basement Soul. Sexy sounds for a smooth night out. 10.30pm–3am, £5/£4 Kabuki Kabuki Fridays. Mike Panteli plays urban soul and house. 11pm–late, £7/£6 Komedia Detournement. Future rock ‘n’ roll, riot pop and no-wave disco. 11pm–3am, £5 KooKlub Something Of Nothing. Fun club night with R’n‘B and house music. 10pm–3am, £4/£3 Lo Lounge Fridays Are Funky. 70s and 80s soul and disco classics for over 25s only. 9pm–2am, £5 Pav Tav Rip It Up. Indie anthems to kick-start a weekend of excess. 10pm–2am, £4/£3 Pressure Point Electric Playboys’ Club. Funky house twinned with late night messiness.

11.30pm–late, £tbc Suga Qube Electronica of all kinds from the Suga Qube Allstars team. 9pm–late, free Sussex Arts Club Friday Fish Fry. Jumpin’ jivin’ swing, latin and ska from DJ Manello.

10.30pm–2am, £5 Volks Autopsy. Scary drum and bass with Limewax and Identity .11pm–5am, £7 The Zap Bliss. Third birthday spectacular featuring electro house from Jamie Wadman.

11pm–5am, £5

Gay Bulldog Dance and pop with DJs Marcia and Chris Reardon, plus karaoke upstairs. Open 63 hours through weekend Charles Street Bar Fairylea. Cheesy, camp tracks with DJs Ruby Roo and Connie Conway.

10.30pm–late Charles Street Club Revo. New funky electro club night with DJ Tom Logan. 10.30pm–3am, £5 HQ Shaft. Strictly men only. 10pm–4am, free before £5/£3 Legends Bar Pre-Yo-Yo. 11am–5am Legends Dance Yo-Yo. Commercial dance with DJ Alex Baker. 11pm–4am, £5/free before 12 Marlborough Live DJ playing alternative tunes. Open till 2am Queen’s Arms Andy B’s Camp Attack with Spice. Text the DJ! Open till 1am R–Bar The Long Weekend. Open till 2am on Monday Revenge Lollipop Vs Kinky Dangerous. DJ Dulcie Danger upstairs, the Lollipop Girls downstairs. 10.30pm–5am, £7/£5 before 11 Rehab NRG. Funky house night. 9pm–3.30am, £7 or £5 before 12am Star Inn FBI – Friday Bears Inc. From 8pm Vavoom Bar Boyz. Promos and dance music videos all night. Open till 6am V2 Club Disco Inferno – tracks from 60s to 00s.

10pm–late, members free The Zone Cabaret with Fanny Dazzle. Open till 12am, free

Theatre American Buffalo David Mamet’s play exploring the clash between business and friendship. New Venture Theatre, please call for show times and prices Blue/Orange Two psychiatrists argue over the diagnosis of a patient who claims to be the son of Idi Amin. Brighton Little Theatre, please book through Brighton Festival website Boutique Theatre Festival burlesque spectacular with sensual striptease and twisted physical theatre. Marlborough Theatre, 10pm, £8/£6 Cuss The World A shocking exploration into the lives of 21st century teenagers.

Marlborough Theatre, 6pm, £7/£5 Five Years Of Happiness Dealing with themes of intimacy and voyeurism, the windows of the Old Ship Hotel light up with the performance of a woman’s love tragedy. The audience watch this performance from a building across the street. Sussex Arts Club, 8pm & 9.30pm, £12/£10 Gite A La Mer Audio play about a couple

forced to live in a beach hut because of house prices. Performed in probably the world’s smallest theatre! Beach Hut 48, Hove Seafront, 12–8pm, free Hysteria An awkward dinner date with an academic whose research is threatening his sanity and an events manager who is terrified of missing the party. Komedia, please call for show times, £12.50/£10.50 Look Now Site-specific performance about a soundless space, waiting for visitors... The Regency Town House, 7–8pm and 9–10pm, £8/£6.50 Macbeth Patrick Stewart leads a company of actors in Shakespeare’s most bloody tragedy.

Chichester Festival Theatre, please call for show times, £25/£19 Mahabharata World premiere of a new musical telling the epic story of ancient India.

Theatre Royal, 7.45pm, £16–£23 Polly Deluxe, It’s All About Me The story of Polly, told by Polly (reality TV/Eurovision star).

Grand Parade Foyer, University of Brighton, 7–8pm, £5 A Public Kind Of Privacy Dubbed as a Dr Faustus experience – a rising political star comes face-to-face with her past. Marlborough Theatre, 8pm, £7/£5 Queen Of The Slaughter Live music, dance and theatre. A man leaves home to fight on the frontline for a cause he believes in. Komedia, please call for show times, £10/£5 This Way For The Gas, Ladies and Gentleman Astonishing musical about Darfur and Auschwitz. The Udderbelly, 7pm, £10/£6 Thoroughly Modern Millie Classic musical set in New York in the 1920s. Eastbourne Devonshire Park, 7.30pm, £12/£10 Worthing Musical Comedy Society Presents: Thoroughly Modern Millie Classic musical set in New York in the 1920s. This brand new stage version includes a full score of both old and new songs. Worthing Connaught Theatre, 7.30pm, £15/£10

Comedy Gamarjobat – Rock ’N’ Roll Penguin The fantastic Japanese mime duo are back with a brand new show. Don’t miss the stand-out hit of last year’s festival. Komedia, 6pm, £12.50/£10.50 Stephen Grant: Attention To Detail Krater Club founder and regular compere Grant revels in his pedantic side, picking holes in deeply held beliefs and over-analysing trivia in his brand new show. Komedia, 10pm, £12.50/£10 Kronenbourg Krater Comedy Club Terry Alderton, Glenn Wool, Rev Obadiah Steppenwolf III and MC Geoff Whiting entertain you in this regular weekend comedy club.

Komedia, 7.30pm, £12/£10 Mayday! The Musical Showing off their wit, talent and comic timing – this is improv with music. Brilliant. Komedia Studio, 9pm, £7/£6.

Doug Devaney – Mein Gutt A rotund man remembers how it all happened. The Cella @ The Sanctuary, 9.15pm, £6/£5 La Di Da Sing Sparkling Whines Female comedy duo mixing classy sounds with satirical tales of murder and other unsavoury topics.

Belgrave Hotel, 8.30pm, £5

Events Corporeal Mime Workshop A workshop designed to enhance the use of the body in creative expression. Alive, 12–4pm, £40/£30 David Dimbleby: How We Built Britain An insight into the extraordinary buildings that have defined Britain. Brighton Dome, 7pm, £7.50 The Old Police Cells Museum See Tuesday 22. The Old Police Cells Museum, 10.30am and 11.30am, free Theatrical Make-Up Bring along brushes and learn the basics of professional stage make-up including bullet wounds, scars and ageing!

Ages 15+. Ascension Church Hall, Westdene, 5–9pm, £40/£35 check with venue before travelling. ➧ Please See our venue directory for details

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saturday 26 Live music The Bobby McGee’s + Lorraine Bowen Experience + Bemsha Swing + Rubylux + Judge Trev Real Music Club night headlined by dark alt-folksters. Ocean Rooms, 8pm, £5/£4 The David Ingledew Band + Three Girl Rumba Performance of Ingledew’s ‘The Cuckoo Sings’ choral piece. St George’s Church, 8pm, £10/£8 G2 – Tribute to Genesis See the Phil Collins tribute at the Concorde 2 on Friday, then this.

Assembly Hall, Worthing, 8pm, £13/£11 Kemal Kusabbi Kwintet Funk fusion, soul, Latin and jazz. Joogleberry, 8pm, £7 The Purcell Singers Leading chamber choir from London. Pavilion Theatre, Brighton, 1pm, £7.50 Ray Davies Lead singer with The Kinks who’s finally released his first ever solo album.

Brighton Centre, 7.30pm, £27.50 Slightly Stoopid Acoustic rock, blues, reggae, hip hop and punk. A phenomenon in the States.

Engine Room, 7pm, £7.50 Spyros Dendrinos Classical guitarist who combines Italian and Spanish works with trad Greek music. Unitarian Church, 8pm, £tbc Swervin’ Merv + Heavy Traffic + The Four Angry Dwarves Stomping funk rock from the bill-toppers. Providence, 8pm, £1 Vogue Gyrator Named after the Lewes Road Vogue Gyratory, these are appropriately wiggly, festival funk vibes. Brunswick, 8pm, £3

Bars and clubs Ali Cats Uni-Fi. Nu-skool and old skool breaks.

8pm–12am, free Arc Holdup! Brighton’s favourite indie night gets another outing.10pm–4am, £5 Audio Stompa Phunk. A rare appearance (!) from a Mr Norman Cook. 11pm–4am, £tbc The Beach Fever. Disco and funk at this upbeat weekend session. 10.30pm–4am, £10/£8 Belushi’s Utopia. 80s classics and club anthems. 10pm–3am, free Casablanca Batcuda. Live Latino and classic tunes. 11pm–4am, £7/£6/£5 Concorde2 Devotion. Drum and bass from Ed Rush and Optical. 11pm–4am, £10 Creation Anthems. Bangin’ weekly party.

9pm–late, £10/free before 10pm Engine Rooms Lowlife. Rock and indie mix in this lovably scuzzy club. 10.30pm–4am, £5 Funky Buddha Lounge Buddha Soul. Cool classics with Mike Panteli. 10pm–3am, £10/£7 Funky Fish Funk, soul and classic rock ‘n’ roll with a party vibe. 10pm–3am, £6/£5 before 11 Honeyclub Seven Sins. Stylish glam-house sesh. 10.30pm–3.30am, £13/£11 The Jazz Place Street Jazz. Jazz, funk, Afro and latin. 10.30pm–3am £6/£5 Kabuki Kabuki Saturdays. Dance music from across the spectrum. 11pm–late, £7/£6 KooKlub Sweet Boutique. Sugary fun with a house soundtrack. 10pm–4am, free Lo Lounge Saturday Soul. Funk and disco anthems from DJ Mick Fuller. 10pm–3am, £5 Ocean Rooms Dirty Weekend. Cutting edge electro with IDC and more. 11pm–4am, £5 Po Na Na Good Turn. Modern soul, electro and pop. 10pm–3.30am, £10/£8 Suga Qube Electronica of all kinds from the SugaQube Allstars team. 9pm–late, free Sussex Arts Club Mojo-to-go-go. 60s fun with DJ Jules. 10.30pm–2am, £5 Volks Breathless Bank Holiday Special. Cut loose with the underground party peeps.

10pm–4am, £tbc The Zap Playroom. Dirty house, a bouncy castle, massages and more. 10.30pm–5am, £15/£12/£10

Gay Barfly @ Brighton Gloucester Monkey. Wild Fruit’s big Saturday. 10pm–4am, NUS £5 all night, others £5 before 11pm/£7 before

midnight/£9 after Bulldog Club mix with DJs V John and Justin K. 11am-late, free Candy Bar FTPA. Homo electro punk disco hosted by the one and only DJ W*nker.

10pm–5am, £5 Charles Street Club Wet Pussy.

10.30pm–3am, £5 HQ Maisie Trollette on stage. 9pm–4am, free before 11pm/£5 after Legends Bar Pre-Ignition.11am–5am Legends Dance Ignition. Big tunes with DJ Peter Castle. 11pm–4am, £5/free before 11pm Queens Arms Julie Glitter’s Karaoke Party. 9pm Revenge Queercarnage. DJs Dusty O and Nik C. Upstairs: DJ Richard Jones. 10.30pm–6am, free before 11pm/£5 before 12am/£7 after 12am/£3 after 3am, NUS £3 Star Inn Proud To Bear night. 8pm–1am Vavoom Beach Wear Theme. Open till 6am V2 Club Beach Wear Theme continues.

Open 10pm–late, members free, others £2/free before 12

Theatre 20,000 Leagues Under The Office Sensational comedy debut from Publick Transport. Komedia, 8pm, £12.50 American Buffalo David Mamet’s play exploring the clash between business and friendship. New Venture Theatre, please call for show times and prices Bite Size – Short and Sweet 10-minute plays filled with drama, comedy and eccentricity.

Cella @ Sanctuary Café, 12.30–1.30pm, £6/£5 Blue/Orange Two psychiatrists argue over the diagnosis of a patient who claims to be the son of Idi Amin. Brighton Little Theatre, please book through Brighton Festival website Boutique Theatre Festival burlesque spectacular with sensual striptease and physical theatre. Marlborough Theatre, 10pm, £8/£6 Colette, A Near Tragedy From Too Much Normal Mesmerising puppet show, with ticket price including a Massaman curry and cabaret band. Baobab Café, 6.30–7.30pm, £8.50/£7.50 Cuss The World A shocking exploration into the lives of 21st century teenagers.

Marlborough Theatre, 6pm, £7/£5 Five Years Of Happiness The windows of the Old Ship Hotel light up with the performance of a woman’s love tragedy. The audience watch this performance from a building across the street. Sussex Arts Club, 8pm & 9.30pm, £12/£10 The Game Of Life Created by students from Kingston Grammar School – a comical, satirical look at the absurdity of what we call ‘daily living’. Joogleberry Playhouse, 3–4pm, £8/£5 Gite A La Mer Audio play about a couple living in a beach hut because of house prices. Played back in probably the world’s smallest theatre!

Beach Hut 48, Hove Seafront, 12–8pm, free Hysteria An awkward dinner date with an academic whose research is threatening his sanity and an events manager who is terrified of missing the party. Komedia, 6pm, £12.50/£10.50 James Dean Is Dead (Long Live James Dean) Exposé on the legendary James Dean.

Cella @ Sanctuary Café, 3.15pm–5pm, £8/£6 Little Howard And The Magic Pencil Of Life And Death Family show combining animation and real life. Marlborough Theatre, 2pm, £5/£4 Look Now Site-specific performance about a soundless space, waiting for visitors. The Regency Town House, 7–8pm and 9–10pm, £8/£6.50 Macbeth Patrick Stewart leads a company of actors in Shakespeare’s most bloody tragedy.

Chichester Festival Theatre, please call for show times, £25/£19 Mahabharata World premiere of a new musical telling the epic story of ancient India.

Theatre Royal, 2.30pm and 7.45pm, £16–£23 A Public Kind Of Privacy A rising political star comes face-to-face with her past.

Marlborough Theatre, 8pm, £7/£5 Queen Of The Slaughter Live music, dance

Ray Davies, Brighton Centre, 7.30pm

and theatre. Komedia, 4pm, £10/£5 Secret Agents Funny, shocking but true story of the man who blew himself up on the London Eye. Redroaster Café, 8.30pm–10pm, £7/£5 Smoke And Mirrors Interlocking monologues about disappointment, hope, strength, relationships, love and loss. Marlborough Theatre, 4pm, £6/£4 This Way For The Gas, Ladies and Gentleman Astonishing musical about Darfur and Auschwitz. Udderbelly, 7pm, £10/£6 Thomas Kett’s Odd Tales For kids aged 6–11: Tom imitates the people he’s met, pets he’s owned and his naughty friend Jessie.

Marlborough Theatre, 12pm, £5/£4 Thoroughly Modern Millie Classic musical set in New York in the 1920s. Eastbourne Devonshire Park, 2.30pm and 7.30pm, £12/£10 The Yarnbards Improvised stories and adventures. The Udderbelly, 1pm, £8/£6

Comedy The Ornate Johnsons Award-winning sketch comedy show. Udderbelly, 5pm, £10/£8 Kronenbourg Krater Comedy Club Terry Alderton, Glenn Wool, Rev Obadiah Steppenwolf III and MC Geoff Whiting entertain you in this regular weekend comedy club.

Komedia, 7pm & 10.30pm, £16 Gamarjobat – Rock ’N’ Roll Penguin The fantastic Japanese mime duo are back.

Komedia, 2pm & 10pm, £12.50/£10.50 & £15 Mayday! The Musical Brilliant improv with music. Komedia Studio, 9pm, £7/£6 La Di Da Sing Sparkling Whines Female comedy duo mixing classy sounds with satirical tales. Belgrave Hotel, 8.30pm, £5

Events Brighton Rock Walk Bringing 30s Brighton to life via locations from Brighton Rock. Meet at Brighton Pier entrance, 2–3.30pm, £5.50/£5 Brighton Victorian Sewers Tour See Tuesday 22. Meet under Brighton Pier, 9.30–10.30am and 11am–12pm, £10/£7.50/£5 Corporeal Mime Workshop See Friday 25.

Alive, 12–4pm, £40/£30 Embassy Court Tours Discover the history of Brighton’s most important 20th-century building.

Embassy Court, 11–12pm, £6/£4 Exploring Kemp Town Village See Wednesday 23. Meet St George’s Church, 2.30–4pm, £5 The Extreme Dirty Weekend The biggest action sports and music festival on the South Coast. The best skateboarders and BMXers in the UK, DJs and more. Seafront, 11am–7pm, free. www.extremedirtyweekend.co.uk Heart Writing Workshop designed to teach you to release what you love, think and believe.

Adults only. Brighton Buddhist Centre, 10.30am–5pm, £30/£20 Most Haunted Old Town See Tuesday 22.

Meet Brighton Town Hall, 12–1.20am, £5.50 The Old Police Cells Museum See Tuesday 22. The Old Police Cells Museum, 10.30am and 11.30am, free Radical Books and Zine Fair Lots of books you won’t find at Borders. The Cowley Club, 10am–5pm, free.

Theatrical Make-up See Friday 25. Ages 15+.

Ascension Church Hall, Westdene, 1–5pm, £40/£35

ITALIA CONTI The UK’s Longest Established Stage School (1911) Tried, Tested and Proven!

For Nearly 100 Years!

GO WITH THE BEST! Performing Arts Training

NEW We are coming to Brighton and Hove!

(Sep 2007) Free Trial Day/VIP Day Saturday June 9th I.S.T.D. Ballet, Tap, Modern, Voice/Dialect, L.A.M.D.A. Acting, Singing, Musical Theatre, Jazz, Street Dance, Film and TV, Agency, Latin American

Email: lindaedwards@italiaconti.co.uk Web: www.italiacontibrightonhove.co.uk

020 7608 7513 or 01273 325209 Are you watching…?

Grease Is The Word!

Any Dream Will Do! (we have 3 current students in the finals!)

PATRONS: Bonnie Lythgoe – Carole Todd

check with venue before travelling. ➧ Please See our venue directory for details

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sunday 27 Live music

Enjoy the KOBA ‘Happy hour’ Two cocktails for the price of one between 5-7pm every day in the front bar. Apply for free K-list membership at www.kobauk.com

Functions rooms available for all kinds of parties of 10-190 guests Free venue hire Sunday – Thursday contact info@kobauk.com or call Tel: 01273 720059

135 Western Road, Brighton BN1 2LA www.kobauk.com

MADWHACKER PRODUCTIONS presents

Acoustic Jam Session Weekly chilled evening of acoustic jamming, with a PA. Portland, 8pm, free Austin Powers: Boogie Night International Band Of Mystery Groovy 60s and 70s tunes, baby! Joogleberry, 8pm, £7/£8 Fitsroy + Gedogen Local ska-punkers, plus DJs, magic and a raffle in aid of Rocking Horse Appeal. Hope, 8pm, £5/£3 Key + Waxed Apple + Gay Army + Toupe Techno-based sounds. Pressure Point, 8pm, £tbc Kris Bell & friends Weekly acoustic shindig hosted by Kris Bell with friends playing a mix of covers and originals. Chequers, 8.30pm, free Mad Professor Dub, trip hop and reggae artist who has been making music since the age of ten, and has collaborated with the likes of Lee Perry, Massive Attack and Jah Shaka. Concorde 2, 10.30pm, £7 Passion Dance With Robin Jones and Ian Millican playing jazz and world music. Neptune, 8.30pm, free Rob Key + Stephen Boniface Acoustic vibes.

Pav Tav, 8pm, free Scallywags Wacky instrumental ensemble performing interpretations of traditional folk while you sip your cuppa. Also Mon 28. Pavilion Gardens, 2pm, free Sesame Jazz Forum Jazz trio. Brunswick, 3pm, free Song & Dance Horsham Folk Club event. The Normandy Centre, Denne Road, Horsham, 8pm, £6-£2 Soul Reality Soul, funk and psychedelic grooves from London-based sessioneers and guests including singer Alison David. Cella, 7.30pm, £6 Steve Dummer and Yoko Ono New pieces for clarinet and piano by Brighton composers Peter Copley and Patrick Harrex plus pieces by Debussy, Joseph Horovitz and Ric Graebner.

Friends Meeting House, 3pm, £7.50/£5.50 Yiri Baa Authentic African roots from The Gambia, Senegal and Mali – ‘high life’ music led by one of The Master Drummers Of Africa, Bucarr Ndow. Udderbelly, 3pm, £8/£6

Bars and clubs

Maddie Live 'Talking Up the Fringe' For the first time ever, the Brighton Festival Fringe brings you a hot new talk show. Come and meet the stars of this year’s Festival as they tell all and perform like never before.

May 28, 2007 – The End Featuring the very best of the Fringe, this show will wrap up with live music, comedy and spoken word and end with a massive bang.

Special performance by The Dutchess. Don’t miss it!

Tickets: £7/£5 2 For 1 Brighton Dome Ticket Office Tel : 01273 709 709 Venue: The Hanbury Club 83 St. George’s Road, Brighton www.maddielive.com

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Concorde 2 Mad Professor. Live show from the deep dub pioneer. 10.30pm–late, £7 Cosmopolitan Bar The Full Moon pub quiz and Sunday roasts. Quiz starts 7.30pm, roasts from 1–6pm Honeyclub In Bed With Space. Uplifting Bank Holiday house with Jay C and Drunk Punks.

10.30pm–5am, £tbc King And Queen Stick It On All-Dayer. Drunken shenanigans with special guests and democratic DJs. 3pm–12am, £13 Kooklub Funky City. House from across the spectrum with Adam Butterworth. 10pm–3am, £4 Volks Northern Soul All-Dayer. All your talcumtwirling mod classics, garage and vintage soul.

3pm–2am, £5 Zap Front Of House. Uplifting funky house provided by Brighton icon, Pete Haywood.

11pm–5am, £10/£8

Gay The Beach Rebel. Official Wild Fruit after party featuring the deep sound of early morning. 37am, £6 Bulldog DJ Wayne rocks the main bar, with Cash Karaoke upstairs. 11pm–2am, free Charles Street Club Sunday Service. Religion’s new Sunday night party. 10.30pm–3am, £4 Creation Wild Fruit Burlesque-themed sesh with Mr Haywood on DJ duties. 10pm–3am, £12/£10/£9/£8 HQ May Pole. Fetish lounge club in association with Vinylla. See www.vinylla.co.uk. 10pm–4am Legends Dance Embrace.11pm–4am, free The PV Matty Eeles provides music. 6pm Queen’s Arms Super Sunday! Cabaret with

Trashville Tennessee at 5.15pm then Betty’s Karaoke Show. Open till 11pm R-Bar Cabaret with Sandra. 4.30pm Revenge Dance, chart and funky house.

10.30pm–3am, £2 before midnight then £3 Star Inn Bears’ Beer Bash! 4pm–late Vavoom Chill-out music videos all day.

Open till 3am The Zone Cabaret with Davina Sparkle.

Open till midnight, free

Yiri Baa, Udderbelly, 3pm

Theatre 20,000 Leagues Under The Office On a lunch break, two office workers suddenly find themselves plunging towards the centre of the earth. Sensational comedy debut from Publick Transport. Komedia, 8pm, £12.50 American Buffalo David Mamet’s play exploring the clash between business and friendship. New Venture Theatre, please call for show times and prices Bacchic A blend of aerial theatre, story-telling, music and movement questioning our faith in heroes. Udderbelly, 5pm, £10/£8 Bite Size – Short and Sweet 10-minute plays filled with drama, comedy and eccentricity.

Cella @ Sanctuary Café, 7.30–9.30pm, £9/£7 Cuss The World A shocking exploration into the lives of 21st century teenagers.

Marlborough Theatre, 6pm, £7/£5 Don’t Feed The Poets End-of-festival cabaret with funny wordsmith Rob Gee and more.

Marlborough Theatre, 8pm, £6/£5 Five Years Of Happiness Dealing with themes of intimacy and voyeurism, the windows of the Old Ship Hotel light up with the performance of a woman’s love tragedy. The audience watch this performance from a building across the street. Sussex Arts Club, 7pm and 8.30pm, £12/£10 The Game Of Life Created by students from Kingston Grammar School – a comical, satirical look at the absurdity of what we call ‘daily living’. Joogleberry Playhouse, 3–4pm, £8/£5 Gite A La Mer Audio play about a couple forced to live in a beach hut because of house prices. Played back in probably the world’s smallest theatre! Beach Hut 48, Hove Seafront, 12–8pm, free James Dean Is Dead (Long Live James Dean) An exposé on the legendary James Dean. Cella @ Sanctuary Café, 3.15pm–5pm, £8/£6 Little Howard And The Magic Pencil Of Life And Death Family show combining animation and real life. Little Howard meets his maker – The Pencil Of Creation. Marlborough Theatre, 2pm, £5/£4 Look Now Site-specific performance about a soundless space, waiting for visitors. The Regency Town House, 7–8pm and 9–10pm, £8/£6.50 Queen Of The Slaughter Live music, dance and theatre. A man leaves home to fight on the frontline for a cause he believes in. Komedia, 4pm, £10/£5 Secret Agents The very funny, very shocking but very true story of Verloc, the man who blew himself up on the London Eye. Redroaster Café, 8.30pm–10pm, £7/£5 Smoke And Mirrors Interlocking monologues about disappointment, hope, strength, relationships, love and loss. Marlborough Theatre, 4pm, £6/£4 This Way For The Gas, Ladies and Gentleman Astonishing musical about Darfur and Auschwitz. Udderbelly, 7pm, £10/£6 Thomas Kett’s Odd Tales For kids aged 6–11: Tom imitates the people he’s met, pets he’s owned and his naughty friend Jessie.

Marlborough Theatre, 12pm, £5/£4

Comedy Kronenbourg Krater Comedy Club Terry Alderton, Glenn Wool, Rev Obadiah Steppenwolf III and MC Stephen Grant entertain

you in this regular weekend comedy club.

Komedia, 8pm, £9/£6 Gamarjobat – Rock ’N’ Roll Penguin The fantastic Japanese mime duo are back with a brand new show. Don’t miss the stand-out hit of last year’s festival. Komedia, 2pm & 10pm, £12.50/£10.50 & £15 Mayday! The Musical Showing off their wit, talent and comic timing – this is improv with music. Brilliant. Komedia Studio, 9pm, £7/£6 Sidesplitters Headliner Eddie Brimson, an opener and three new acts all providing a fantastic comedic Sunday night out. The Providence, 8pm, £4

Events The Big Splash A two-day fiesta as Brighton Marina is transformed into an open-air tidal wave of international street art and aqua themed entertainment. Brighton Marina, 1pm–dusk, free Brighton Horror Walk See Thursday 24. Meet Royal Pavilion South Gate, 10–11.20pm Brighton Rock Walk See Saturday 26. Meet at Brighton Pier entrance. 2–3.30pm, £5.50/£5 Embassy Court Tours See Saturday 26.

Embassy Court, 11–12pm, £6/£4 The Extreme Dirty Weekend See Saturday 26. Extreme Dirty Weekend, 11am–7pm, free.

Visit www.extremedirtyweekend.co.uk Festival Ceilidh A Celtic flourish to finish off the festival with a frenzy of polkas, rels, jigs and waltzes. With a chill-out room for under 8s, fully stocked bar for the adults and fun, fruity cocktails for youngsters. Brighton Dome, 7pm, £9/£6 Festival Firework Finale Bidding adieu to the Brighton Festival, Brighton Marina’s Big Splash rounds off events with a fantastic fireworks display. Brighton Marina, dusk, free Haunted Pubs Crawl Visit three haunted hostelries and experience intoxicating spirits both sides of the bar. Ages 18+. Meet Hanningtons taxi rank, 7.30–9.20pm, £5.50 Knights In Action At Arundel Castle Medieval history comes alive in this reconstruction of 15th century life at Arundel Castle. Fun for all the family. Arundel Castle, 10am-5pm. £12/£9.50/£7.50, great value £32 family ticket (2 adults + up to 5 children) The Original Brighton Cemetery Visit a cast of remarkable characters from the past in a walk through the parkland in the Woodvale and Extra-Mural Cemeteries. Woodvale Cemetery, 2–3.30pm, £6/£5 Romance Of Rottingdean A ramble through the historic coastal village. Meet outside the White Horse Pub, 11am–12.20pm, £5 Taste Of France An event for children to explore the world of food. Café Paradiso, Seattle Hotel, Waterfront, Brighton Marina, 01273 679799, 12.30pm, free check with venue before travelling. ➧ Please See our venue directory for details

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monday 28 Live music Can U Joogle? Acoustic showcase. Send or drop a demo in for the attention of Carly, marked ‘Can U Joogle?’. Joogleberry, 8pm, free The Changes Chicago four-piece who are winning many high-profile fans and support slots including Stephen Malkmus, Kaiser Chiefs and The Futureheads. Hope, 8pm, £5 Eleanor McEvoy She achieved star status in Ireland in 92 when her song ‘Only A Woman’s Heart’ appeared on the A Woman’s Heart anthology album. It has since become the bestselling album in Irish history, even eclipsing records by such legendary Irish artists as Van Morrison and U2. The Greys, 8.30pm, £8 Elgar Anniversary Concert Celebrating the 150th anniversary of Elgar’s birth, Sir Andrew Davis conducts a performance of his choral piece Dream Of Gerontius. Dome, 8pm, £10–£28.50 Jeff Howlett Trio Jazz and funk. Arthouse, 8.30pm, free Katy Moffatt Country, blues, rock and pop inform the work of this cult musician who released her first album back in 1975 on Columbia. Anchor Inn, Barcombe, 8pm, £10 The Ripps Coventry three-piece invoking the memory of Two Tone, punk and The Clash. A superb live band, their debut album has just been released on Brighton’s Catskills label.

Pressure Point, 8pm, £tbc Scallywags See Sun 27. Pavilion Gardens, 2pm, free

Bars and clubs Beach We Love 90s. Tunes from way back when. 10.30pm–3am, £2/90p Casablanca Now That’s What I Call The 80s.

10.30pm–3am, free Cosmopolitan Bar Parlour Games. Have a drink and play some games. Bring your own games or choose from the selection at the bar. Free Funky Buddha Lounge Caramel. R’n’B, hip hop and Funk. 10.30pm–3.30am, £3/£1 Honeyclub Stardust Summer Sale! 70s and 80s

party tunes making for a proper start to the week. 10pm–2.30am, £3/90p KooKlub Student Mondays. Student night with a twist and a pop/cheese soundtrack.

10pm–3am, £3 Suga Qube Late Night Lounging. Hip hop, soul and Downtempo. Open till 4am, free Volks Tip Top Presents Strictly Reggae.

Dancehall, bashment and roots. 10pm-late, £4.50/£3.50

Macbeth Patrick Stewart leads a company of actors in Shakespeare’s most bloody tragedy.

Chichester Festival Theatre, please call for show times, £25/£19 Thoroughly Modern Millie Classic musical set in New York in the 1920s. Eastbourne Devonshire Park, 7.30pm, £12/£10

Gay

Latest 7 Festival & Fringe Awards Jimmy Carr hosts this collection of the best of the festival, with snippets from all of the big hit shows. This will round the Bank Holiday off with a bang. Udderbelly, 9pm, £20/£15 Maddie Live – Talking Up The Fringe Fringe talk show with some of the stars of the festival joining Maddie in her bath for a chat. Hanbury Club, 7pm, £7/£5 Daniel Kitson Rescheduled show from last week with the randomly great comic.

Marlborough Theatre, 8pm, £6/£5

Bulldog Marcia’s Glitter Ball. 70s and 80s disco classics. 11pm–2am, free Candy Bar Shibby Shabblers. 10pm–2am, £3/£2 Charles Street Club Studio 150. Party tunes with DJs Luke and Ali K, plus sexy dancers.

10.30pm–3am, £1.50 Legends Dance Mojo. Classics from across the decades. 11pm–4am, free Marine Tavern Elsie’s Chillout. 12pm–12am Marlborough Drag music night. Fundraiser for Pride. 12pm-12am, £1 from 7pm Queen’s Arms Dave Lynn followed by karaoke.

5.15pm R-Bar Miss Jason’s Madhouse. 9.30pm–late Revenge Cabaret with Dave Lynn and a stripper.10.30pm–3am, free The Zone Reggae.Open till 12am

Theatre Aida The magnificent story of war, jealousy and revenge – the doomed love of the beautiful slave girl, Aida, and the Egyptian hero, Radamesopera. Theatre Royal Brighton, 7.30pm, £14.50–£30 The Farside By Courttia Newland 2HeavyProductions question how we can rebuild a community torn apart by murder and injustice.

Brighton Media Centre, 3–5.30pm and 7–9.30pm, £7/£5 Look Now Site-specific performance about a soundless space, waiting for visitors. The Regency Town House, 7–8pm and 9–10pm, £8/£6.50

Comedy

Events The Big Splash See Sunday 27. Brighton Marina, 1pm–5pm, free Bounce Your Balls For Cancer – World Record Attempt Join 1,000 others on Hove Lawns to help raise awareness of testicular cancer, by attempting to bounce the furthest on spacehoppers. Spacehoppers provided. Visit www.bounceyourballs.com for details.

Children under 16 should be accompanied by an adult. Hove Lawns, 12–2pm, £10/£6 Famous Brighton Back Passages Twittens and catcreeps, not what you’re thinking. Meet at Brighton Town Hall, 11–12.50pm, £5.50 Knights In Action At Arundel Castle See Sunday 27. Arundel Castle, 10am-5pm. £12/£9.50/£7.50, great value £32 family ticket (2 adults + up to 5 children) The Old Police Cells Museum See Tuesday 22. The Old Police Cells Museum, 10.30am and 11.30am, free

The Big Splash, Brighton Marina, 1pm–5pm

check with venue before travelling. ➧ Please See our venue directory for details

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A-Z venue directory Brighton and Hove Ali Cats 80 East Street, Brighton 01273 220902 Amsterdam 11 Marine Parade 01273 688825 www.amsterdam.uk.com Aqua 23 Waterfront Brighton Marina 01273 819800 Aquarium 6 Steine Street, Brighton 01273 605525 www.pleisure.com Arc 160 Kings Road Arches 01273 770505 Arthouse Gallery 10 Western Road, Hove 01273 770083 Audio 10 Marine Parade 01273 606906 www.audiobrighton.com Bar Bamboogy 78 West Street, Brighton www.creationbrighton.com Barley Mow 92 St George’s Road 01273 682259 The Beach 171–181 Kings Road Arches, Brighton 01273 722272 Belushi’s 10-12 Grand Junction Road, Brighton 01273 202035 Bom-Bane’s 24 George Street, Brighton 01273 606299 Brighton Centre Kings Road, Brighton 0870 900 9100 www.brightoncentre.co.uk Brighton College Eastern Road www.brightoncollege.net Brighton Dome 29 New Road, Brighton 01273 709709 www.brighton-dome.org.uk Brighton Gloucester 27 Gloucester Place 01273 688011 Brighton and Hove Greyhound Stadium Nevill Road, Hove 01273 204601 www.trap6.com/hove Brighton Museum & Art Gallery Royal Pavilion Gardens, 01273 290900 Brighton Peace & Environment Centre Brighton Ecocentre, 39–41 Surrey Street 01273 766610 Brighton Rocks 6 Rock Place 01273 601139 Brighton Women’s Centre 72 High Street, Brighton 01273 698036 The Brunswick 1 Holland Road, Hove 01273 733984 Bulldog, 31 St James’s Street 01273 696996 www.bulldogbrighton.com Candy Bar 129 St James’s Street 01273 622424 www.thecandybar.co.uk Caroline of Brunswick 39 Ditchling Road, Brighton 01273 624434 Casablanca Middle Street, Brighton 01273 321817 Cella at Sanctuary Café 51–55 Brunswick St East, Hove 01273 770006 Charles Street Bar & Club 8 Marine Parade 01273 624091 www.charlesstreetbar.com Cineworld Brighton Marina Village 01273 818094 www.cineworld.co.uk Clair Hall Perrymount Road, Haywards Heath 01444 455440 Concorde 2 Madeira Drive, Brighton 01273 673311 www.concorde2.co.uk Core Club 12–15 King’s Road, Brighton 01273 326848 Corn Exchange 29 New Road, Brighton 01273 709709 www.brighton-dome.org.uk Cornerstone Community Centre Church Road, Hove 01273 327757 Cosmopolitan Bar 29-31 New Steine 01273 682461 The Cowley Club 12 London Road, Brighton 01273 696104 www.cowleyclub.org.uk Creation 78 West Street, Brighton 01273 321628 www.creationbrighton.com Doctor Brighton’s 16–17 Kings Road 01273 328765 www.pleisure.com Dome 29 New Road, Brighton 01273 709709 www.brighton-dome.org.uk Duke of York’s Picturehouse Preston Circus, Brighton 01273 626261 www.picturehouses.co.uk Education Room Brighton Pavilion 01273 296971 Engine Room 5 Preston Street, Brighton 01273 728999 www.engineroomclub.com

48 latest 7

Enigma 10 Ship Street, Brighton 01273 328439 www.theenigmabrighton.co.uk The Fishbowl 74 East Street 01273 777505 Fitzherberts 25 New Road 01273 682401 Freebutt 1 Phoenix Place 01273 603974 Freemasons 38 Western Road, Hove 01273 732043 Funky Buddha Lounge 169–170 Kings Road Arches, Brighton 01273 725541 Gap Club 61a Western Road, Hove 0844 999 6349 Gardner Arts Centre, University of Sussex campus, Falmer 01273 685861 www.gardnerarts.co.uk The George 5 Trafalgar Street, Brighton 01273 681055 The Globe 78 Middle Street, Brighton 01273 727114 The Greys 105 Southover Street, Brighton 01273 680734 The Hanbury Club 83 St George’s Road, Brighton 01273 605789 Hare & Hounds 75 London Road, Brighton 01273 681163 HQ 43 Providence Place, Brighton 01273 620630 www.harlequin-brighton.co.uk Hobgoblin 31 York Place, Brighton 01273 602519 Honeyclub 214 Kings Road Arches, 01273 202807 www.thehoneyclub.co.uk The Hope 10–12 Queen’s Road, Brighton 01273 325793 Hove Museum & Art Gallery 194 Church Road, Hove 01273 290200 Hove Town Hall, Norton Road, Hove 0870 900 9100 www.brighton-hove.gov.uk Jazz Place 10 Ship Street, Brighton 01273 328439 www.thejazzplacebrighton.co.uk Joogleberry Playhouse 14–17 Manchester Street, Brighton 01273 687171 www.joogleberry.com Juggler Bar 21 Western Road, Hove 01273 724195 King and Queen 13 Marlborough Place, Brighton 01273 606207 Komedia Gardner Street, Brighton 01273 647100 www.komedia.co.uk Koo Klub 10 Pool Valley, Brighton 01273 888000 www.kooklub.co.uk

Comprehensive list of venues to complement our listings

Brighton 01273 732323 www.pintxopeople.co.uk Portland Rock Bar 153 Portland Road, Hove 01273 383840 www.portlandrockbar.co.uk Po Na Na Unit 2, 75-79 East Street, Brighton 01273 777904 www.ponana.com Pressure Point 33 Richmond Place, Brighton 01273 702333 www.pressurepoint.me.uk Preston Manor Preston Drove, Brighton 01273 292770 Prestonville Arms 64 Hamilton Road, Brighton 01273 701007 Prince Albert 48 Trafalgar Street, Brighton 01273 730499 The Providence 130 Western Road, Hove 01273 727822 PV 22 Upper North Street, Brighton 01273 325491 www.thepv.co.uk Queen’s Arms 7 George Street, Brighton 01273 696873 R-Bar 7 Marine Parade, Brighton 01273 608133 www.revenge.co.uk Red Roaster Café 1d St James’s Street, Brighton 01273 686668 Rehab Brighton Marina 01273 675007 www.rehabbrighton.com Rendezvous Casino Brighton Marina 01273 605602 www.rendezvouscasino.com Revenge 32 Old Steine, Brighton 01273 606064 www.revenge.co.uk Revue Bar 19 New Steine, Brighton 01273 607456 Riki Tik 18a Bond Street, Brighton 01273 683844 Saqqara 158 North Street, Brighton 01273 779701 Sky Bar 54-55 Meeting House Lane, Brighton www.skybarbrighton.com Star Inn 5–9 Manchester Street, Brighton 01273 601450 Suga Qube 5 Castle Square 01273 770246 Sumo 9–12 Middle Street 01273 749465 Sussex Arts Club 7 Ship Street 01273 778020 Theatre Royal New Road 08700 606650 www.theambassadors.com/theatreroyal

Lo Lounge 106 Kings Road, Brighton 01273 715077

V2 5 Steine Street, Brighton 01273 609672 Vanilla Bar 73a Western Road, Hove 01273 748182 Vavoom 31 Old Steine, Brighton 01273 603010 Volks The Colonnade, 3 Madeira Drive, Brighton 01273 682828 www.volksclub.co.uk

Marlborough Bar & Theatre 4 Princes Street, Brighton 07782 278521 www.marlboroughtheatre.co.uk Marine Tavern 13 Broad Street, Brighton 01273 681284 www.harlequin-brighton.co.uk Mint Meeting House Lane 0871 2072 088 Mojo’s Bar & Restaurant 103 North Road, Brighton 01273 622522

Western Front Near Churchill Square, Brighton 01273 725656 White Horse 30 Camelford St, Brighton 01273 603726 Wild Fruit @ Creation, 78 West Street, Brighton www.wildfruit.co.uk West Hill Hall Compton Avenue, Brighton

New Madeira Hotel 19-23 Marine Parade, Brighton 01273 698331 New Venture Theatre Bedford Place 01273 746118 www.newventure.org.uk

The Zap Kings Road Arches, Brighton 01273 202407 Zoot Street Bar Queens Road, Brighton 01273 737770 The Zone 33 St James’s Street, Brighton 01273 626442

Ocean Rooms 1–2 Morley Street, Brighton 01273 699069 Odeon Cinema West Street, Brighton 0871 224 4007 www.odeon.co.uk Ohso Social 250a Kings Road Arches, Brighton 01273 746067 The Old Market Upper Market Street, Hove 01273 736222 www.theoldmarket.co.uk The Park Crescent Pub 39 Park Crescent Terrace, Brighton 01273 604993 Pavilion Tavern 7–8 Castle Square, Brighton 0844 999 6331 Pavilion Theatre 29 New Road, Brighton 01273 709709 www.brighton-dome.org.uk Penthouse (above the Freebutt), 1 Phoenix Place, Brighton 01273 603 974 Pintxo People 95-99 Western Road,

Around Sussex The Anchor Inn Anchor Lane, Barcombe 01273 400414 www.anchorinnandboating.co.uk Ashdown Forest Broadstone car park, second left from Wychcross Assembly Hall Connaught Theatre Pavilion Theatre, Union Place, Worthing 01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk The Black Horse High Street, Findon, Worthing 01903 872301 Bluebell Railway Sheffield Park Station, East Sussex 01825 720800 Café Blue Pevensey Road, Eastbourne 07834 405675 The Capitol North Street, Horsham 01403 750220 Chichester Festival Theatre Oaklands Park 01243 781312 www.cft.org.uk Clair Hall Perrymount Road, Haywards Heath 01444 455440 Congress Theatre Carlisle Road, Eastbourne 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Devonshire Park Theatre Compton Street, Eastbourne 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Fountain Inn High Street, Handcross 01444 400218 www.fountainpub.co.uk The Half Brick 221 Brighton Road, Worthing 01903 234196 The Hawth Hawth Avenue, Crawley 01293 553636 www.hawth.co.uk Horsham Folk Club The Normandy Centre, Denne Road, Horsham 01306 875653 www.horshamfolkclub.co.uk Jack Horner 80 High Street, Worthing 01903 236427 Malling Community Centre Spences Lane, Lewes 01273 477931 www.mallingcommunitycentre.com Martlets Martlets Hall, Civic Way, Burgess Hill 01444 242888 Royal Hippodrome Theatre 108 Seaside Road, Eastbourne 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Royal Oak Station Street, Lewes 01273 478124 St Thomas à Beckett Church Hall Cliffe High Street, Lewes United Reformed Church Clinton Place, corner of Broad Street, Seaford Winter Garden Theatre Compton Street, Eastbourne 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Worthing Museum & Art Gallery Chapel Road, Worthing 01903 221140 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk Worthing Connaught Theatre Union Place, Worthing 01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk Worthing Pavilion Theatre Marine Parade, Worthing 01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk

■ We try to ensure all event details are correct but regret we cannot be held responsible for any inaccuracies. Please check directly with the venue before travelling ■

This Way…

5/16/07

4:13 PM

Page 1

‘DESTINED FOR THE WEST END’ ABSOLUTE BRIGHTON ‘A MASTERPIECE’ METRO ‘UNMISSABLE’ EDINBURGH GUIDE ‘A MONUMENTAL WORK’ THE ARGUS

AN ASTONISHING MUSICAL ABOUT DARFUR & AUSCHWITZ

with the rainbow chorus and members of brighton youth orchestra conducted by dominic nunns STARRING

SETH MORGAN, ADELE ZIZI, GUY PICOT, ANGI MARIANI AND JENNY JAMES

22ND – 27TH MAY 7PM £10 (£6) THE UDDERBELLY BOX OFFICE 01273 709709 www.udderbelly.co.uk

www.lifeanddeath.org

050_LS322_JobsCV

5/17/07

2:00 PM

Page 2

JOBS

Global fantasies Gaming company SilentManager spreads its wings SilentManager, the Brighton-based ‘fantasy sports games specialist’ is opening its second office on the other side of the world in Sydney, Australia.

As of 21 May, SilentManager (Australia) Pty Limited was born. The business that started as a drunken conversation about fantasy football at a barbecue is set to go global, in what feels like a single bound.

Started five years ago as a back-bedroom company, it has gone from strength to strength in a relatively short period of time and now has a 12-strong team based in the

Queen’s Park area of Brighton.

“If you had told me at that barbecue five years ago that come mid May of 2007 SilentManager would have an office in Sydney, Australia, I would have been pleased, but I doubt whether I would have entirely believed you”, exclaims Jon Trigg, managing director and co-founder of the company.

Jon leaves sunny Sussex, home to the head office and his beloved Brighton and Hove Albion, to embark on the next exciting chapter of the SilentManager story. The company has doubled in size over the past two years, and

opened its virtual doors to the four millionth fantasy game player last September – a major accomplishment by any standards!

SilentManager currently has games played in 11 different countries and is working with O2, Guinness, the Metro, EA Sports and LG (to name a few) on games covering several different sports including football and rugby.

The company already has a global presence and an additional office will only seek to galvanise this and spread the SilentManager name all over the world.

“Anyone joining SilentManager has always been aware of the plan to take the company to Australia, but now the realisation is here and the office here is a buzz with excitement and we are all looking forward to where we will take the company next”, beams Jon. For more information contact Jennifer Wallace on 01273 682277 or jennifer.wallace@silentmanager.co.uk

Sales Executive Property Recruitment Specialists

Residential Sales Senior Branch Manager Senior Branch Manager Listers Sales Negotiator Sales Negotiator Trainee Negotiator Trainee Negotiator Trainee Negotiator

Brighton East Sussex Horley Surrey North/East/Mid Kent Horsham East Sussex Tonbridge Kent Redhill Surrey Reigate Surrey Horsham Mid Sussex

Residential Letting Branch Manager Letting Manager Letting Negotiator Letting Negotiator

Guildford Horsham Redhill Horsham

Surrey Mid Sussex Surrey West Sussex

Other Investment Consultants HR Director (CIPD) Land Manager

Fareham Surrey Sussex Mid Sussex Leatherhead Surrey

Secretarial Floating Secretary Brighton East Sussex Administrator Hove East Sussex To register a position or find out further details please contact one of our consultants in confidence.

everyone has a price on their head

to maximize your potential call us now on:

0845 130 1188 fax 0845 130 1189

50 latest jobs

email enquiries@lca-jobs.com

web www.lca-jobs.com

required for busy advertising dept The top media sales position in Sussex is available as Latest Magazines expands! Latest Homes Ltd cover a variety of titles including property, health and art. Be a part of our creative team and work in a fast-paced environment, managing existing accounts and developing new client contacts.

If you can answer yes to the following, then you could be who we are looking for to join our successful team: • Energetic & enthusiastic approach • Minimum of two years experience • Proven track record in face to face sales • Highly motivated with the ability to work as part of the team and on your own initiative • Organised and able to work to deadlines • Excellent customer service skills Apply by emailing your CV to lynne@thelatest.co.uk or call Lynne Edwards on 01273 818150 ex. 112 for an informal chat Latest Homes Ltd Unit 1, Level 5 North, New England House New England Street, Brighton BN1 4GH 01273 818150 www.thelatest.co.uk

latest homes

hundreds of jobs every week...

051_LS322_Job Ads

5/16/07

4:24 PM

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JOBS

Brighton / Hove PA, £22k pa CAD Technician, c £20k pa Shoreham-by-Sea New Product Development Coordinator, £19k–£22k pa Lancing Customer Service Advisor £14k pa pro rata

Near Gatwick Electrical Engineer, c £40k pa South West London Software Developer, c £35k pa plus benefits and bonus Visual Merchandiser, c £30k pa plus benefits, bonus and car allowance / car

Worthing Outbound Sales / Customer Service Advisors (No cold calling), £15,017 OTE £24k pa Near Hassocks Sales Executive (Aviation), c £30k pa AutoCAD Technician (3 month contract), £20–£25k pa (pro rata) Newhaven Procurement Manager, c £35k pa plus bonus

Lettings Coordinator Cambridge Residential are one of Brighton & Hove’s leading independent letting and estate agencies, standing out from the crowd in a highly competitive market. Due to our constant portfolio growth we now require a full time office coordinator to join our vibrant Western Road offices.

The position is public facing and will mainly comprise of administrative support to a team of busy negotiators, as well as meeting and registering new applicants and viewing appointments.

Previous agency experience will be useful but not essential. The ideal candidate will have excellent communication and organisational skills and will thrive working in a lively and busy environment. Basic IT skills and a UK driving licence are of course essential.

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If you enjoy being part of a busy team environment, and love property and people, then this might just be the job for you. If you have what it takes and are interested in this exciting position then please apply with your CV and covering letter to: caroline@cambridge-residential.co.uk or to Caroline Obolensky Cambridge Residential 117 Western Road, Hove, BN3 1DB Alternatively, please call for further information on 01273 204037 Applications will be treated in the strictest of confidence

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Harvey John is a Brighton based independent recruitment agency specialising in accountancy and legal vacancies across the Sussex region.

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latest jobs 51

052_LS322_TVIntro

5/18/07

11:19 AM

Page 2

latestTV

Dani on TV

She says it how she sees it

Films on TV

Oceans Eleven, Monday 28, ITV1, 9pm

I know what you ate last summer

TUESDAY 22 The Bunker ★★★✩✩ (2001, BBC1, 11.35pm. Dir Rob Green) Set during the dying days of World War Two, this chiller follows a group of defeated stock-Nazi characters who become prey to something far more scary than the American bombs that lurk down the tunnels in which they hide. A neat premise, but the shocks are only mildly frightening.

Matt Chittock

WEDNESDAY 23 The Horse Whisperer ★★★✩✩ (1998, Five, 7.30pm. Dir Robert Redford) Sandy-haired heart-throb Robert Redford directs and stars in a sentimental romantic drama that had them weeping in the aisles on release.

Rob stars as a no-nonsense cowboy who can talk to horses and might, just might, also be able to heal Scarlett Johansson’s broken soul.

MC

THURSDAY 24 Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels ★★✩✩✩ (1998, Channel 4, 10pm.

Dir Guy Ritchie) The nadir of 1990s blokey cinema, this gangster flick from Guy Ritchie aims for Goodfellas gravitas but achieves the excitement of a duff Sweeney episode.

A high-stakes card game kicks off the action, but Dexter Fletcher, Jason Statham and co (plus mod-ish soundtrack) deliver style, not substance.

MC

FRIDAY 25 Transamerica ★★★★✩ (2005, Sky Movies Indie, 10.50pm.

Dir Duncan Tucker) A well-acted indie quirkfest, this drama stars Desperate Housewives’ Felicity Huffman as a man about to undergo the final stage of male-tofemale surgery when he gets a call from his long-lost son. Cue a soapy road trip that exudes intelligence.

MC

52 latest 7

Movies on the box this week The Player ★★★★✩ (1992, Film 4, 11.10pm.

Dir Robert Altman) The ultimate meta-movie about the film industry, Robert Altman never topped his hatchet job on Tinsel Town that’s packed with self-lacerating cameos from the great and good. Tim Robbins is fantastic as a wiley studio exec whose paranoia goes nuclear when he receives threatening letters from a spurned screenwriter.

MC

Five Life, Monday 28 May A fifth of British teenagers are clinically obese – that’s ridiculous! So we are sending six to California, to a kind of fat camp, where nutritionists, counsellors and trainers will work their magic to hopefully change the way these teenagers think, eat and live. These kids each weigh more than double me and they eat 90 bags of sweets a week!

In this first episode, the group all meet at Heathrow, eat their last bags of chips, say goodbye to their families, all crying (for the families or the chips, I’m not sure) then jump on a plane to head off to sunny California, all saying: “When I get back I will be skinny.” And God help me I want them to be skinny when they get back too.

During the interviews before the kids go away, nearly all of them mention being bullied at school. They are bullied for being big and to make themselves feel better they eat a bit more; they are living in a vicious circle and perhaps by going somewhere totally out the way and living with other people in the same situation, they will be given the break and be able to turn themselves around.

At the camp they do the smart thing of disguising exercise as fun activities and for the most part it works. A trip snorkelling gets the kids active and they actually enjoy it, everyone that is apart from Adam, who doesn’t really want to do anything and, if you ask me, shouldn’t be there. He obviously has no interest in helping himself. But the next day, his home sickness has worn off slightly so he feels a bit more interested in getting involved.

When the kids are at home, even though they enjoy exercise they won’t do it because they are too ashamed of the way they look, so when they get the chance to do actual exercise many of them relish it!

This is so heart-warming to watch. The kids are sent to do a one-mile run, but they are given no time limits and are told they can walk it, run it, crawl it or do whatever they want to get it done, and all of them apart from two run it and when they all finish they are all really happy with themselves, which gives them more oomph to try harder.

This camp Wellsprings is a magic idea, teaching the kids how to go shopping and shop well, how to eat and eat well, how to exercise and exercise well, and all with no hard pressure or yelling drill men or weird doctors. With obesity on the rise, I can’t understand why we haven’t created places like this here – it’s hard for the kids, but it really does make a difference. It’s all very well us having adverts telling us about five a day, but when they are sandwiched in between adverts for Burger King it doesn’t appear to make much difference.

There is an episode on each night on Five Life and I can’t wait to see what happens.

22–28 May

SATURDAY 26 The Station Agent ★★★★✩ (2003, BBC2, 11.20pm.

Dir Thomas McCarthy) Melancholic dwarves seeking a new life? Welcome back to indieville for this wonderful, gripping movie following Fin (Peter Dinklage) and his attempts to reclaim life. Still waters run deep in an enchanting film that gets right under the skin.

MC

Apocalypse Now ★★★★✩ (1979, Channel 4, 12.20am.

Dir Francis Ford Coppola) The war movie gets a poetic, phantasmagoric rerub in Francis Ford Coppola’s legendary epic starring Martin Sheen as a soldier on a secret, surreal mission deep into Cambodia.

Marlon Brando broods, Dennis Hopper does freaky and The Doors finish things up in a long, strange trip that’s worth staying up late for.

MC

SUNDAY 27 Psychomania ★★★★✩ (1971, BBC2, 1.30am. Dir Don Sharp) What do you get when the Brits try and shoot a Hell’s Angels horror flick?

Basically, this cult piece of black comedy starring Nicky Henson as a biker who comes back from the dead (on his trusty Harley) to wreak havoc across England. Kitsch underground fun with (studded) tongue firmly in cheek.

MC

MONDAY 28 Oceans Eleven ★★★✩✩ (2001, ITV1, 9pm. Dir Steven Soderbergh) A slick, soulless remake of a Sinatra movie that wasn’t much cop in the first place, this Hollywood heist flick wins out through star appeal (George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Julia Roberts et al) and directorial chutzpah. The plot is predictable, but it’s all about watching the eye candy and enjoying Steven Soderbergh’s easy-going big budget B-movie style.

MC

053_LS322_TV_Tue

5/17/07

5:56 PM

Page 1

tuesday 22 Driving Me Crazy ITV1, 9pm Jo Brand’s not happy with the age group that causes more accidents per mile than any other – the over 80s. She wants those gallivanting snail-paced joyriders to be given new rules to make the roads a safer place. But if your mobility’s going anyway with hip ops and the like, isn’t a car more important than ever?

Longford Channel 4, 10.05pm Drama on the last 30 years in the life of Lord Longford, the cabinet politician who campaigned to win parole for Moors murderess Myra Hindley. With a stellar cast of Jim Broadbent as Longford and Samantha Morton as Hindley, this looks at the man’s motives and the way the prison system has worked over decades.

The Ornate Johnsons’ Edwardian Spectacular BBC4, 9pm The Brighton-based comedy sketch outfit (playing at the Udderbelly on Saturday) star in this one-off skewed but funny perspective of the Edwardian era.

With a couple of their writers providing regular contributions to Latest 7 in the Bare Cheek page, you know what to expect.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Animal Park 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.30 Cash In The Attic 12.30pm RHS Chelsea Flower Show 1.00 BBC News; Weather 1.30 Regional News And Weather 1.40 Neighbours 2.05 Doctors 2.35 Murder, She Wrote 3.20 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3.25 Pitt And Kantrop 3.50 Watch My Chops 4.00 The Basil Brush Show 4.30 Roman Mysteries 5.00 Blue Peter 5.25 Newsround 5.35 Neighbours

6.00am –10.15 CBeebies 10.30 Primary History: Britain Since 1948 10.50 Landmarks: Pakistan And Its People 11.10 Churchill’s Bodyguard 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Pod’s Mission (x2) 1.30 Animal Park 2.00 Living In The Sun 3.00 Escape To The Country 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Ready Steady Cook 5.15 The Weakest Link

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 2.00 Inspector Wexford 3.00 For The Rest Of Your Life 4.00 Midsomer Murders

6.00am The Treacle People 6.10 The Hoobs (x2) 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Just Shoot Me (x2) 9.00 Frasier 9.30 Giving Up The Weed 10.30 Make Me A Grown Up 11.00 Sex, Lies And Soaps 11.30 Teen Taboos 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 Great British Brands 12.45 A Place Down Under (x2) 1.50 FILM: Incident In A Small Town (1993) 3.30 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The New Paul O’Grady Show

6.00am Soccer AM: The Best Bits 7.00 WWE Afterburn 8.00 How The 2007 FA Cup Was Won 10.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 10.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 11.30 How The 2007 FA Cup Was Won 1.30pm Soccer AM: The Best Bits 2.30 LIVE Cricket: Friends Provident Trophy (x2) 10.00 Football: UEFA Champions League 11.00 Revista De La Liga 12.00am European Seniors Tour Golf 1.00 Golf 2.00 Football: UEFA Champions League 3.00 Revista De La Liga

6.00 BBC News And Weather 6.30 South East Today; Weather 7.00 Castaway Another one bites the dust. Not literally – someone just gets evicted. Otherwise they’d have a mouthful of dirt.

7.30 EastEnders Phil’s post-crash emotions reach the surface, leading to a shock announcement that leaves Stella feeling sidelined. Danger, Will Robinson!

8.00 Holby Blue John and the relief launch a big raid on local gangster Neculai Stenga. Not a klingon despite rumours to the contrary.

9.00 Whistleblower Following tipoffs from whistleblowers, reporters go undercover to investigate the health and safety of food in some of Britain’s supermarkets.

10.00 BBC News; Regional News; Weather 10.35 Imagine... Scott Walker Alan Yentob tells the story of one of the enigmas of modern music, Scott Walker, who gave up pop stardom in the 1960s. Featuring rare exclusive interview material.

11.35 FILM: The Bunker (2001) Starring Jack Davenport, Jason Flemyng. Claustrophobic supernatural World War Two horror.

1.10am Sign Zone: See Hear 1.40 Timewatch: The People’s Coronation 2.30 Hairy Bikers Ride Again 3.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 3.30 Joins BBC News 24

6.00 Eggheads Let’s get quizzical.

6.30 Great British Menu The seven regional finalists return to cook their entire menus again for the panel of food aficionados. Lucky aficionados.

7.00 The Apprentice The candidates have to create a new brand of trainer.

Alan has laid on one of the country’s top advertising agencies for them to work with, but the creativity is theirs.

Getting down with the kids. Yo. 8.00 RHS Chelsea Flower Show Alan Titchmarsh, Joe Swift and Carol Klein present coverage. The allimportant medals are announced.

9.00 Andrew Marr’s History Of Modern Britain In the first episode of a five-part series, Andrew Marr revisits Britain in 1945 and finds the country victorious but nearly bankrupt.

10.00 QI Stephen Fry hosts the quiz show in which contestants are rewarded more if their answers are `quite interesting’. This edition features Alan Davies, Liza Tarbuck, Jeremy Clarkson and Neil Mullarkey tackling the subject of dogs.

10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Reader, I Married Him Daisy Goodwin presents a series about the romantic novel. How the much maligned genre actually lowers stress levels, amongst other things.

12.20am Joins BBC News 24 2.00 BBC Learning Zone: Schools: Technology 4.00 Technology

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Jo’s joy at Andy’s proposal soon turns sour. For Pollard, revenge is very sweet indeed. Maybe he stuffed it full of liquorice.

7.30 Falklands 25 Veterans relive the memories of 25 years ago, when a task force sailed from Southampton, Portsmouth and Chatham to re-invade the Falklands.

8.00 House Of Horrors Jonathan Maitland and his team catch cowboy traders red handed. Today, they tackle a pest control man whose fraudulent claims and shocking scare tactics lose him his job, and other fraudulent scamsters.

9.00 Driving Me Crazy See highlights.

10.00 Teen Sex: Too Much Too Young This week the series investigates why the number of sexually active children in Britain today is growing. We meet 14-yearold Caz Brown, who has been having sex for two years already. Now her dad wants to take her for a sexual health check to make sure she hasn’t caught an STI. 10.30 ITV News; Weather 11.00 UEFA Champions League Final: Preview From Athens 12.00am ITV Play: Glitterball 4.05 Soundtracks Forever 5.00 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Darren tries to convince Steph to adopt a baby from the Third World, but when looking after Charlie proves to be too much, Steph has a radical rethink. Less ‘accessory’, more ‘eating and pooping machine’.

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder: Home Fronts 8.00 How To Look Good Naked Stylist Gok Wan meets 36-year-old Lisa Mayall, whose self confidence is so low she covers her petite figure in baggy clothes. Plus, Gok conducts the biggest TV consumer test ever on anti-wrinkle creams. Still no solution to Nora Batty’s stockings though.

9.00 Gordon Ramsay’s F Word Top Gear’s James May takes on Gordon in the recipe challenge and Denise van Outen joins the diners in his restaurant.

10.05 Longford See highlights.

11.50 PartyPoker.com Premier League Poker Twelve of the world’s best poker players complete.

12.55am The British Premier League Tennis Tournament 1.50 KOTV Classics 2.45 KOTV 3.15 Adrenalin Rush 3.40 Supporting Acts 4.00 Victorian Scots (x2) 4.30 Eureka: The Vikings (x3) 5.15 Jamaica (x3)

6.00am The Save-Ums! 6.10 Fifi And The Flowertots 6.25 Franny’s Feet 6.35 Bird Bath 6.45 Hi-5 7.20 Roary The Racing Car 7.30 Rupert Bear 7.45 Make Way For Noddy 8.00 Say It With Noddy 8.05 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.40 What Makes Me Happy 8.50 Mio Mao 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha 11.30 News 12.00pm Home And Away 12.30 House 1.30 Russell Grant’s Postcards 1.45 FILM: Lip Service (2000) 3.30 Five News Update 3.40 FILM: Confessions Of A Young Bride (2005) 5.30 News 6.00 Home And Away Kit and James are really hitting it off – again.

Make up your minds.

6.30 Joey 7.00 Five News 7.15 Gavin Stamp’s Orient Express Gavin Stamp follows the old route of the Orient Express from London to Istanbul. Gavin takes a detour off the old Orient Express route to visit Bosnia and Serbia.

8.00 Return Of The Tribe The Insect Tribe are near the end of their extraordinary visit to Britain when six inches of snow throws them into confusion. Freaky wet white stuff.

9.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation When five showgirls are found dead in their Green Valley home, Sara arrives at the scene in time to hear a few strained words from yet another victim before she dies. Not ‘Rosebud’.

10.00 CSI: Miami Alexx publicly campaigns against a convicted sex offender who moves into her neighbourhood, then becomes embroiled in controversy when the man is murdered.

11.00 Law And Order: Special Victims Unit The detectives run into difficulties while investigating the murders of two convicted rapists.

12.00am Murder Trail 1.00 NBA Basketball 4.20 World Motocross 5.10 Seniors Golf

Sky Sports 2 6.00am LIVE Test Cricket 12.00pm Sky Sports Classics 12.30 Cycling 1.30 LIVE Sailing: America’s Cup 4.00 Ocean 4.30 How The 2007 FA Cup Was Won 6.30 Revista De La Liga 7.30 Football: UEFA Champions League 8.30 Texaco Havoline Ginetta Championship 9.00 Rally Fever 10.00 Poker: Sports Stars Challenge 12.00am Women’s Pool (x2)

Sky Sports 3 9.00am Women’s Pool 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Women’s Pool 2.00 Ocean 2.30 World Motor Sport 5.00 WWE Smackdown 7.00 F1 UIM World Championship 7.30 LIVE Greyhound Racing 10.00 Sports Unlimited 11.00 Rally Fever 12.00am Sailing: America’s Cup 2.00 F1 UIM World Championship 2.30 Rally Fever

Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

12.00pm Best Of Angel 1.00 Law And Order 2.00 Cold Case 3.00 Las Vegas 4.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 6.00 Malcolm In The Middle (x2) 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Brainiac: Science Abuse 9.00 Road Wars 10.00 Badger Or Bust 11.00 Ross Kemp On Gangs 12.00am Law And Order

7.00pm Say No To The Knife 8.00 The Real Hustle 8.30 The Scam Squad 9.00 Filthy Rich And Homeless 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Sex... With Mum And Dad 11.25 Family Guy (x2) 12.10am Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps (x2) 1.10 Sex... With Mum And Dad 2.10 The Real Hustle 2.40 The Scam Squad

7.00pm The Edwardians In Colour: The Wonderful World Of Albert Kahn 8.00 The World 8.30 Marcus Brigstocke’s Trophy People 9.00 The Ornate Johnsons’ Edwardian Spectacular.

See highlights. 9.30 The League Of Gentlemen 10.00 Operation Good Guys 10.30 Black Sun 11.40 Farther Than The Eye Can See

12.30pm Coronation Street 1.00 Emmerdale 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.40 The Ricki Lake Show 4.30 Sally Jessy Raphael 5.15 Airline USA 5.45 Judge Judy 7.00 American Idol (x2) 9.00 FILM: Along Came Polly (2004) 10.45 Big Day 11.15 FILM: Shakespeare In Love (1998) 1.45am ITV Play: Glitterball

2.00pm Never The Twain 2.30 Is It Legal? 3.00 Pie In The Sky 4.05 Cagney And Lacey 5.05 Quincy, ME 6.05 Is It Legal? 6.40 Movies Now 6.50 Lovejoy 8.00 The Bill: Lies That Kill 9.00 Ruth Rendell’s Inspector Wexford: Kissing The Gunner’s Daughter 11.00 Bramwell 12.05am Lovejoy 1.15 Quantum Leap

2.00pm Switched 2.30 Ed 3.30 The OC 4.30 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 The War At Home 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 What About Brian 10.00 Derren Brown: Trick Or Treat 10.30 Peep Show 11.00 Skins 12.05am Scrubs (x2) 1.05 Derren Brown: Trick Or Treat 1.35 Peep Show

12.00pm Property Ladder Revisited 1.05 Deal Or No Deal 2.00 ER (x2) 4.00 FILM: Sullivan’s Travels (1941) 5.40 A Place In The Sun 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 More4 News 8.30 The Daily Show 9.00 Animal Farm 10.00 FILM: Angela’s Ashes (1999) 12.45am The Daily Show 1.15 Countdown

1.00pm Will And Grace (x2) 2.00 I Dream Of Jeannie (x2) 3.00 Grey’s Anatomy 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 The X Files 8.00 Exposed: Kate Moss 9.00 Most Haunted: Recurring Nightmares 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am The X Files 1.00 Most Haunted

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

12.00pm Charlie’s Angels 1.00 My Family 1.40 Keeping Up Appearances 2.20 Open All Hours 3.00 New Tricks (x2) 5.00 Dallas 6.00 Charlie’s Angels 7.00 Sharpe 9.00 Jonathan Creek 10.10 New Tricks 11.30 I’m Alan Partridge (x2) 12.50am Porridge 1.30 Room 101 2.05 Have I Got 2002 For You 2.35 The Good Life

3.00pm Two And A Half Men (x2) 4.00 King Of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Frasier (x2) 7.00 Becker (x2) 8.00 That 70s Show (x2) 9.00 King Of Queens (x2) 10.00 Sex And The City (x2) 11.10 South Park 11.40 The World Stands Up 12.10am Jack Dee Live At The Apollo 1.10 Sex And The City (x2)

1.00pm Deadliest Catch 2.00 The FBI Files 3.00 Forensic Detectives 4.00 Time Team 5.00 How It’s Made (x2) 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 Mythbusters 8.00 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls 9.00 Deadliest Catch 10.00 The World’s Toughest Tribes 11.00 Lobstermen: Jeopardy At Sea 12.00am The FBI Files

12.00pm Farscape 1.00 Star Trek 2.00 The Lost World 3.00 FILM: Disappearance (2002) 5.00 Dark Angel 6.00 The Lost World 7.00 Roswell 8.00 Dark Angel 9.00 FILM: The Thirteenth Floor (1999) 10.55 Medium 12.00am Erotic Misadventures Of The Invisible Man 1.50 Medium 2.50 George Lucas In Love

2.55pm The Great Moment (1944) 4.20 Chaplin Today: The Great Dictator 4.55 The Great Dictator (1940) 7.00 The Browning Version (1951) 9.00 Rio Grande (1950) 10.50 Dr Phibes Rises Again (1973) 12.25am The Phantom Of The Opera (1943) 2.10 I Want To Live! (1958)

12.00pm Best (1999) 2.00 The Holy Girl (2004) 4.00 Bed And Board (1970) 6.00 The Last Buffalo (1990) 6.45 A Home At The End Of The World (2004) 8.30 Indie Close-Up 9.00 La Dolce Vita (1960) 11.55 Fandango (1984) 1.30am Best (1999) 3.20 The Last Buffalo (1990)

1.00pm Cottage To Let (1941) 2.45 The Lady In Question (1940) 4.20 The Undefeated (1969) 6.35 Stepmom (1998) Julia Roberts is the new wife and Susan Sarandon the old one. Kids in the middle.

9.00 Clear And Present Danger (1994) 11.40 Infernal Affairs 3 (2003) 1.55am Manic (2001)

6.50am The Sea Of Grass (1947) 8.55 Brass Target (1978) 11.00 Little Women (1933) 1.10pm It’s Always Fair Weather (1955) 3.00 Clash Of The Titans (1981) 5.10 The Shoes Of The Fisherman (1968) 8.00 No Guts, No Glory: 75 Years Of Stars 9.00 Mutiny On The Bounty (1962) 12.10am The Haunting (1963)

Classics

Indie

054_LS322_TV_Wed

5/17/07

6:00 PM

Page 1

wednesday 23 Joey Five, 6.30pm This spin-off with the delectable doofus of the Friends gang seems to have been relegated to a less than prime spot. Maybe this was because he never really had many of his own stories back in Friends. No matter, this one’s a goodie as he gets to date the girl he idolised as a teen, and she seems more interested in her ex.

Bars, Booze And Bouncers: Confessions ITV1, 10pm Out each night with that holiday feel now the summer’s here?

Indulge that carefree feeling with a wary eye, as this show tells tales of a professional footballer sold cheap fizz instead of bubbly, barkeepers spiking drinks and others ripping you off. Cheers?

Not really.

Breaking Up With Shannen Doherty ITV2, 7.30pm That 90210 actress with a reputation for being ‘difficult’ has got a new show, helping people find extravagant ways to break up with their significant others.

Bet being ‘difficult’ doesn’t seem like such a good idea now. This first episode involves a psychic chef and a beauty queen. Class.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Animal Park 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.30 Cash In The Attic 12.30pm RHS Chelsea Flower Show 1.00 BBC News; Weather 1.30 Regional News And Weather 1.40 Neighbours 2.05 Doctors 2.35 Murder, She Wrote 3.20 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3.25 Pitt And Kantrop 3.50 The Cramp Twins 4.00 Prank Patrol 4.30 Raven 5.00 Blue Peter 5.25 Newsround 5.35 Neighbours

6.00am Fimbles 6.20 Story Makers 6.35 Balamory 7.00 Arthur 7.15 Chucklevision 7.30 Get 100 8.00 Tracy Beaker 8.15 Krypto The Superdog 8.30 Take A Bow 8.35 Koala Brothers 8.45 Come Outside 9.00 Boogie Beebies 9.15 Pingu 9.25 Me Too! 9.45 Something Special 10.00 Postman Pat 10.15 Roly Mo Show 10.30 Britain’s Greatest Buildings 11.30 Daily Politics 1.00pm Garden Invaders 1.30 Working Lunch 2.00 Living In The Sun 3.00 Escape To The Country 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Ready Steady Cook 5.15 The Weakest Link 6.00 Eggheads Eggs-actly the thing for a quizzical person.

6.30 Great British Menu Top chefs compete to convince the French that we can match them in gastronomic prowess. Mais, bien sur!

7.00 Jonathan Meades: Abroad Again Jonathan Meades investigates the short and lustrous career of that most mysterious of High Victorian architects, Cuthbert Brodrick.

7.50 Coast: Wales - The Smalls Neil Oliver is on the coast of South Wales and uncovers a real-life horror story on the Smalls Lighthouse.

8.00 RHS Chelsea Flower Show Coverage continues from the fragrant grounds of the Royal Hospital, Chelsea. Blooming marvellous!

9.00 Natural World Documentary.

Britain has spectacular colonies of puffins, guillemots, kittiwakes and skuas, but recently many birds have failed to breed. In the summer of 2006, bird expert Roy Dennis travelled in search of answers.

9.50 The Sheep Beside The Sea Documentary telling the unlikely story of a banished flock of stoic sheep.

10.00 The Apprentice: You’re Fired Get the sack and then grilled. Nice.

10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Reader, I Married Him Series about the romantic novel.

12.20am Joins BBC News 24 2.00 BBC Learning Zone: Schools: Technology

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 2.00 Inspector Wexford 3.00 For The Rest Of Your Life 4.00 Midsomer Murders

6.00am The Treacle People 6.10 The Hoobs (x2) 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Just Shoot Me (x2) 9.00 Frasier 9.30 The Big Drugs Debate 10.30 Make Me A Grown Up 11.00 Sex, Lies And Soaps 11.30 Teen Taboos 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 Great British Brands 12.45 A Place Down Under (x2) 1.50 FILM: Widow On The Hill (2005) 3.30 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The New Paul O’Grady Show

6.00am The Save-Ums! 6.10 Fifi And The Flowertots 6.25 Franny’s Feet 6.35 Bird Bath 6.45 Hi-5 7.20 Roary The Racing Car 7.30 Rupert Bear 7.45 Make Way For Noddy 8.00 Say It With Noddy 8.05 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.40 What Makes Me Happy 8.50 Mio Mao 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha 11.30 News 12.00pm Home And Away 12.30 House 1.30 Russell Grant’s Postcards 1.35 FILM: Columbo: Swan Song (1974) 3.35 News 3.40 FILM: Murder Among Friends (2001) 5.30 News 6.00 Home And Away Tony is left reeling when he discovers the bar has been robbed.

6.30 Joey See highlights.

7.00 Five News 7.30 FILM: The Horse Whisperer (1998) Starring Robert Redford, Kristin Scott Thomas, Scarlett Johansson, Sam Neill, Dianne Wiest and Chris Cooper. Romantic drama adapted from Nicholas Evans’s bestselling novel. After a riding accident has left both a young girl and her horse deeply scarred, her mother takes them to a rancher with a reputation for treating traumatised animals. During the healing process, the daughter rediscovers her lost confidence and the mother finds herself falling in love in the beautiful Montana countryside.

10.40 FILM: Fled (1996) Starring Laurence Fishburne, Stephen Baldwin, Will Patton, Robert Burke and Salma Hayek. High-speed adventure about a pair of escaped convicts who are handcuffed together and must learn to trust one another if they are to stay free. Sound familiar?

See if you can name that rip off.

12.30am PartyPoker.com - Poker Den: The Big Game International poker action from the first in a series of eight programmes from the Partypoker.com Poker Den. 2.00 Major League Baseball Major 5.00 NHRA Drag Racing

6.00am Revista De La Liga 7.00 WWE Heat 8.00 Revista De La Liga 9.00 Football: UEFA Champions League (x4) 1.00pm Revista De La Liga 2.00 Football: UEFA Champions League (x4) 6.00 LIVE UEFA Champions League Final 10.30 Rugby Union 12.30am UEFA Champions League Final 2.00 Poker: Sports Stars Challenge 4.00 Women’s Pool (x2)

6.00 BBC News And Weather 6.30 South East Today; Weather 7.00 RHS Chelsea Flower Show Alan Titchmarsh and Joe Swift present coverage from the 85th RHS Chelsea Flower Show. On a day devoted entirely to beautiful blooms, Chelsea’s leading exhibitors reveal their personal plant passions. Triffids?

8.00 Incredible Animal Journeys: On The Trail Of The Caribou Steve Leonard struggles with the extreme winter in the Yukon as he attempts to migrate across Canada with a heavily-pregnant caribou.

9.00 The Apprentice The candidates have to select groundbreaking and unusual products from around the world to introduce into the UK market.

10.00 BBC News; Regional News; Weather 10.35 The National Lottery Draws 10.45 I’m A Child Anorexic Documentary which follows the progress of 12-year-old Natasha and 13-year-old Naomi through their treatment at Rhodes Farm.

11.45 FILM: The Statement (2003) Starring Michael Caine, Jeremy Northam and Tilda Swinton. Thriller.

1.40am Sign Zone: The Gardener’s Year 2.10 My Life As A Child 2.40 Neneh And Andi Dish It Up 3.10 Sweet Baby James 3.40 To Buy Or Not To Buy 4.10 Joins BBC News 24

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 UEFA Champions League Final: AC Milan V Liverpool Steve Rider presents live coverage from the Olympic Stadium in Athens of the UEFA Champions League final between AC Milan and Liverpool – a repeat of the 2005 final in Istanbul, where Liverpool staged a remarkable second-half comeback. Milan were impressive when they beat Manchester United in the semi-final, and will be looking for revenge this time. Commentary comes from Clive Tyldesley and David Pleat, studio analysis from Andy Townsend and Robbie Earle.

10.00 Bars, Booze And Bouncers: Confessions Bar staff serve up a cocktail of their juiciest secrets and reveal some of the tricks they use to swindle the unsuspecting British public. They talk about some of the nasty ‘extras’ they add to drinks, which could include anything from eye drops to Tabasco. See highlights.

10.30 ITV News; Weather 11.00 New Homes From Hell Explosions, floods and maggots. Plus, a house that looks great from the front but tells a different story from the back. Like a lot of frocks.

12.00am ITV Play: Glitterball 4.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 5.00 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Carmel couldn’t feel worse following Aleksander’s hysterics over her fake breasts.

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder: Home Fronts 8.00 Property Ladder Martin and Teresa get to work on a two-up-twodown terrace in Lincolnshire with the intention of doing all the work themselves. But they have no experience in property developing so everything that can go wrong does go wrong. Cautionary tale time.

9.00 Grand Designs Pat Becker, who lives in a Georgian family house overlooking the sea in Devon, has decided to build a new home at the bottom of the garden. Not for the fairies, but for her to live in.

10.00 Desperate Housewives Secrets are revealed and relationships tested as Bree returns from her honeymoon.

11.05 Celebrity Sex Tapes Unwound The ten most popular celebrity sex tapes on t’Internet.

12.10am Peep Show 12.40 Balls Of Steel 1.30 The Osbournes (x2) 2.20 Your Face Or Mine?

2.50 Home Road Movies 3.00 The Bernie Mac Show (x2) 3.50 Greetings From Tucson (x2) 4.40 Wild Things 5.25 Countdown

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Ocean 7.00 Sailing: America’s Cup 9.00 Poker: Sports Stars Challenge 11.00 Golf 12.00pm European Seniors Tour Golf 1.00 Powerboating 1.30 LIVE Sailing: America’s Cup 4.00 European Seniors Tour Golf 5.00 European Tour Weekly 5.30 Total Rugby 6.00 LIVE Rugby Union 8.00 Golf: Euro Pro Tour 10.00 Watersports World 11.00 Trans World Sport 12.00am Golf: Euro Pro Tour 2.00 European Tour Weekly 2.30 Trans World Sport 3.30 Sailing: America’s Cup

Sky Sports 3 9.00am Test Cricket 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Rally Fever 1.00 Sports Unlimited 2.00 Texaco Havoline Ginetta Championship 2.30 Wild Spirits 3.00 Poker: Sports Stars Challenge 5.00 WWE The Bottom Line 6.00 WWE Afterburn 7.00 Motor Sport 8.00 Tenpin Bowling: World Masters 9.00 Max Power 10.00 Motor Sport 11.00 Tenpin Bowling: World Masters 12.00am Sailing: America’s Cup 2.00 Race World

Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

12.00pm Best Of Angel 1.00 Law And Order 2.00 Cold Case 3.00 Las Vegas 4.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 6.00 Malcolm In The Middle (x2) 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Futurama (x2) 9.00 Pandemic 10.00 Lost 11.00 Law And Order 12.00am Las Vegas 1.00 Star Trek: Voyager 1.50 Mile High

7.00pm Castaway 8.00 Wedding Stories: Tantrums And Tiaras 9.00 Britain’s Worst Teeth 10.00 FILM: Platoon (1986) 11.55 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps (x2) 12.55am Britain’s Worst Teeth 1.50 Dog Borstal Unleashed 2.20 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps (x2) 3.20 Filthy Rich And Homeless

7.00pm The Edwardians In Colour: The Wonderful World Of Albert Kahn 8.00 The World 8.30 Indian School 9.00 A Tabloid Is Born! 10.00 Greg Dyke On Lord Reith 11.00 Indian School 11.30 A Tabloid Is Born! 12.30am The Edwardians In Colour: The Wonderful World Of Albert Kahn 1.30 A Tabloid Is Born!

3.40pm The Ricki Lake Show 4.30 Sally Jessy Raphael 5.15 Airline USA 5.45 Judge Judy 7.00 Hollywood Nights Gone Bad 7.30 Breaking Up With Shannen Doherty. See highlights 8.00 FILM: 10 Things I Hate About You (1999) 10.00 Katie & Peter: The Next Chapter 11.00 Generation Xcess 12am Hollywood Nights Gone Bad

12.55pm Robin Of Sherwood 2.00 Never The Twain 2.30 Is It Legal? 3.00 Pie In The Sky 4.05 Cagney And Lacey 5.05 Quincy, ME 6.05 Is It Legal? 6.40 Film File 6.50 Lovejoy 8.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 Rising Damp 9.35 FILM: See No Evil, Hear No Evil (1989) 11.40 Lovejoy 12.45am Heartbeat

2.00pm Switched 2.30 Ed 3.30 The OC 4.30 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 The War At Home 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Ugly Betty (x2) 11.00 Miss Match 12.00am Scrubs (x2) 12.55 Switched 1.25 The War At Home 1.45 Miss Match 2.25 Porn: A Family Business (x2) 3.25 Ed

12.00pm Property Ladder Revisited 1.05 Deal Or No Deal 2.00 ER (x2) 4.00 FILM: The Indian Fighter (1955) 5.40 A Place In The Sun 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 More4 News 8.30 The Daily Show 9.00 True Stories: Dying For Drugs 10.00 Sex Change Hospital 11.00 NYPD Blue

1.00pm Will And Grace (x2) 2.00 I Dream Of Jeannie (x2) 3.00 Grey’s Anatomy 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 The X Files 8.00 Canada’s Next Top Model 9.00 CSI: Miami 10.00 Boston Legal 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am The X Files 1.00 Boston Legal

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

12.00pm Charlie’s Angels 1.00 My Family 1.40 Keeping Up Appearances 2.20 Open All Hours 3.00 Dalziel And Pascoe 5.00 Dallas 6.00 Charlie’s Angels 7.00 Sharpe 9.00 Dalziel And Pascoe 11.20 I’m Alan Partridge (x2) 12.40am Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps 1.20 Room 101

3.00pm Two And A Half Men (x2) 4.00 King Of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Frasier (x2) 7.00 Becker (x2) 8.00 That 70s Show (x2) 9.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 10.00 Sex And The City (x2) 11.10 South Park 11.40 The World Stands Up 12.10am Edinburgh And Beyond

12.00pm Mythbusters 1.00 Deadliest Catch 2.00 The FBI Files 3.00 Forensic Detectives 4.00 Time Team 5.00 How It’s Made (x2) 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 Mythbusters 8.00 How Do They Do It? 9.00 Decoding Disaster 10.00 Most Deadly 11.00 Minutes From Disaster 12.00am The FBI Files

4.35pm Psychic Detectives 5.00 Dark Angel 6.00 The Lost World 7.00 Roswell 8.00 Dark Angel 9.00 Heroes 10.00 FILM: The Darkroom (2006) 11.35 George Lucas In Love 11.45 Medium 12.45am FILM: Emmanuelle’s Private Collection: Sexual Spells (2006) 2.35 Psychic Detectives 3.00 ReGenesis

12.00pm Never Weaken (1921) 12.35 A Sailor-Made Man (1921) 1.30 Grandma’s Boy (1922) 2.35 Hellfighters (1969) 4.40 Chaplin Today: The Kid 5.15 DOA (1950) 7.00 Marty (1955) 9.00 Hellfighters (1969) 11.05 House Of Usher (1960) 12.30am The Pit And The Pendulum (1961)

12.00pm Les Diaboliques (1955) 2.00 Stolen Kisses (1968) 4.00 The Four Hundred Blows (1959) 5.50 Lai See (2007) 6.10 The Dream Is Alive (1985) 7.00 Les Diaboliques (1955) 9.00 The Four Hundred Blows (1959) 10.45 Mulholland Falls (1996) 12.40am Fade To Black (2004)

1.00pm Lost (1955) 2.55 Pushover (1954) 4.40 Operation Amsterdam (1959) 6.50 Manon Des Sources (1986) 9.00 Four Weddings And A Funeral.

It’s a Richard Curtis/Hugh Grant festival with this British movie double bill.

(1994) 11.15 Notting Hill (1999) 1.35am The Golden Coach (1953)

9.00am Lady L (1965) 11.00 Tribute To A Bad Man (1956) 12.45pm Lust For Life (1956) 3.00 Murder Most Foul (1964) 4.40 Three Daring Daughters (1948) 6.50 Designing Woman (1957) 9.00 Forbidden Planet (1956) 10.50 Brainstorm (1983) 12.45am All Fall Down (1962) 2.40 Teleshopping

Classics

Indie

055_LS322_TV_Thu

5/17/07

6:03 PM

Page 1

thursday 24 This World: Race Hate In Louisiana BBC2, 7pm Three nooses were found dangling from trees at a high school in Louisiana. This wasn’t during slave trading in the 1800s, nor even during race riots in the 60s, but was last September. With a black presidential candidate coming up in the USA, how far have race relations really come?

Mao’s Bloody Revolution Revealed Five, 7.15pm Mao is one of the 20th century’s most controversial leaders. This in-depth doc looks at his time, from childhood through to death and talks to some of his inner circle. History was made by him and is still influenced by him today. Maybe we’ll find out who he was.

Hack ITV3, 9pm Quite a good but chiefly overlooked new series from the States about a disgraced former cop who’s now a cabbie. He knows everyone’s secrets, takes them to the rendezvous, and all with a heart of gold. Nice, eh?

Plus he’s a bit of a man mountain so not to be crossed. Today he’s helping protect a young girl. Ahh.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Animal Park 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.30 Cash In The Attic 12.30pm RHS Chelsea Flower Show 1.00 BBC News; Weather 1.30 Regional News And Weather 1.40 Neighbours 2.05 Doctors 2.35 Murder, She Wrote 3.20 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3.25 Pitt And Kantrop 3.55 Watch My Chops 4.10 The Basil Brush Show 4.35 Dinosapien 5.00 Blue Peter 5.25 Newsround 5.35 Neighbours

6.00am – 10.15 CBeebies 10.30 Look And Read 10.50 Music Makers 11.10 English Express 11.30 Primary History: Black History - Gandhi 11.40 Primary History: Black History Mandela 11.50 Primary Geography 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Animal Park 1.30 Golf: The PGA Championship

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 2.00 Inspector Wexford 3.00 For The Rest Of Your Life 4.00 Midsomer Murders

6.10am The Hoobs (x2) 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Just Shoot Me (x2) 9.00 Frasier 9.30 Drugs: The Lowdown On Getting High 10.30 Make Me A Grown Up 11.00 Sex, Lies And Soaps 11.30 Teen Taboos 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 A Place Down Under 1.00 A Place Down Under 1.35 FILM: War Of The Wildcats (1943) 3.30 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The New Paul O’Grady Show

6.00am Trans World Sport 7.00 WWE Experience 8.00 Rugby Union 10.00 UEFA Champions League Final 11.30 Rugby Union 1.30pm LIVE Sailing: America’s Cup 4.00 Ocean 4.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 5.00 Boots ‘n’ All 6.00 LIVE Golf Night 8.00 International Football 9.30 Golf Night 11.30 International Football 1.00am Golf Night 3.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 3.30 International Football 4.00 Boots ‘n’ All 5.00 LIVE Test Cricket

6.00 BBC News And Weather 6.30 South East Today; Weather 7.00 Castaway The castaways wait to hear who’s next to be evicted from the island. Patience is a virtue.

7.30 EastEnders Darren unwittingly gets Libby in trouble with the law.

Div boy.

8.00 Holby City Jac’s plan to manipulate Lord Byrne backfires with devastating consequences. About time too! Plus Sam shows Connie just how far he’s prepared to go for Grace. Not a toy – a daughter.

9.00 Hustle Drama series about a team of con artists. Clarissa Bartwell is an immoral woman with a passion for fashion. Using the story of the emperor’s new clothes as inspiration for the con, Billy steps up to play the inside with Danny. However, there’s someone hanging around who’s threatening to blow their cover unless Billy hands over £20,000. Tricksy.

10.00 BBC News; Regional News; Weather 10.35 Question Time Topical debate from Basingstoke chaired by David Dimbleby.

11.35 This Week The Abbott and Portillo show discussing the latest in politics. So chic!

12.25am Panorama 12.55 Sign Zone: Victoria’s Empire 1.55 To Buy Or Not To Buy 2.25 Joins BBC News 24

6.00 Eggheads Quiz-tastic!

6.30 Great British Menu Top chefs compete to convince the French that we can match them in gastronomic prowess. The final decision is almost here. From the public. Who can’t taste the telly. Bit annoying really.

7.00 This World: Race Hate In Louisiana See highlights.

7.30 The Museum The British Museum wants to bring some of China’s Terracotta Army to London, but will they get the warriors they want, and how much will it all cost?

8.00 RHS Chelsea Flower Show Alan Titchmarsh, Joe Swift and Carol Klein present coverage.

9.00 Mystery Flights CIA flights have been landing secretly in Poland.

Was Europe the site of a secret prison where top al Qa’eda suspects were held? Olenka Frenkiel reports on the plane spotters, civilians, judges, lawyers and journalists piecing together the jigsaw.

10.00 The Graham Norton Show A show that shouldn’t hit the weekend tabloids this time.

10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Reader, I Married Him A series about the romantic novel.

12.20am FILM: One More Kiss (1999) Romantic drama.

1.55 The Witness 2.00 BBC Learning Zone: Schools: Art: Contemporary 4.00 BBC Learning Zone: Schools: The Art

6.00am The Save-Ums! 6.10 Fifi And The Flowertots 6.25 Franny’s Feet 6.35 Bird Bath 6.45 Hi-5 7.20 Roary The Racing Car 7.30 Rupert Bear 7.45 Make Way For Noddy 8.00 Say It With Noddy 8.05 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.40 What Makes Me Happy 8.50 Mio Mao 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha 11.30 News 12.00pm Home And Away 12.30 House 1.30 Russell Grant’s Postcards 1.45 FILM: Gun For A Coward (1957) 3.35 News 3.40 FILM: Into Thin Air: Death On Everest (1997) 5.30 News 6.00 Home And Away Ric and Matilda take their relationship to the next level. Now he’s out of the clink.

6.30 Joey Joey takes Donna to a romantic bed-and-breakfast, but his plans are thrown into disarray by the arrival of her husband. Oh matron!

7.00 Five News 7.15 Mao’s Bloody Revolution Revealed See highlights.

9.00 House House becomes increasingly desperate as his painkillers are cut off and he is pressured into accepting a deal with the police. Meanwhile, Cuddy takes charge of House’s team in order to treat a 15-year-old girl with dwarfism whose collapsed lung develops into something more serious.

10.00 Shark When a married socialite, who happens to be one of Devlin’s best friends, shoots a man dead she claims that he was an exlover and that she killed him in selfdefence - but Stark isn’t convinced that she is telling the truth.

11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation When a major Las Vegas player is found dead, Ecklie orders both CSI teams to investigate the case. Turns out the dead fella, who knew everyone else’s secrets, was harbouring a rather big one himself.

12.00am Quiz Call 4.00 Dutch Football 5.10 Football Argentina

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Laurel’s mum wakes up - but her first request is hardly music to her daughter’s ears.

7.30 Country Ways A film portrait of the Vale of Berkeley in Gloucestershire, shot during a week in November, and taking in the people, the wildlife, the character and the natural history of the area.

8.00 The Bill Nikki thinks that man threatening to jump from a factory building could be a lead in exposing a child pornography ring. As you do.

9.00 The Last Detective When a London cabbie discovers a briefcase containing two million pounds in the back of his taxi, he decides to start a whole new life and disappears without a word to his wife. Ten years later, Dangerous investigates the murder of a chauffeur who has been found dead in a stretch limousine having been stabbed in the neck with a broken champagne bottle.

10.30 ITV News; Weather 11.00 Tarrant On TV Chris Tarrant presents another collection of highlights from television and advertising from around the world.

11.35 Sharon Osbourne’s Orange Playlist 12.00am ITV Play: Make Your Play 4.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 5.00 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Warren almost catches Justin and Katy in a clinch.

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder: Home Fronts 8.00 How Clean Is Your House?

Kim and Aggie answer an emotional plea from a family in Basildon. Four months ago, Nigel Doggett passed away suddenly leaving his wife Ingrid and their four children devastated.

8.30 Embarrassing Illnesses Patients in today’s show are suffering from psoriasis, problem perspiration, uncontrollable dandruff and bunions.

9.00 Dispatches: Bin Wars The current affairs series investigates whether the nation’s anger over cuts to our rubbish collection is justified.

10.00 FILM: Lock, Stock And Two Smoking Barrels (1998) Starring Jason Flemyng, Dexter Fletcher, Nick Moran, Jason Statham, Vinnie Jones.

Stylish black comedy.

12.05am 4 Music: 4Music Presents... Badly Drawn Boy 12.35 4 Music: Red Bull Beat Battles 1.25 4 Music: 4Play: The Rumble Strips 1.35 FILM: Beautiful Creatures (2000) 3.10 The Birthday 3.25 Dispatches 4.20 Battle For The Holy Land: Love Thy Neighbour 5.20 3 Minute Wonder: Made In India 5.25 Countdown

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Ocean 7.00 Sailing: America’s Cup 9.00 Ocean 9.30 Irish Greyhound Racing 10.00 Tenpin Bowling: World Masters 11.00 Powerboating 11.30 Motor Sport 12.30pm Women’s Pool 1.30 UEFA Champions League Final 3.00 Total Rugby 3.30 Rugby Union 5.30 Ocean 6.00 Mountain Biking 7.00 LIVE Horse Racing 9.00 Trans World Sport 10.00 Mountain Biking 11.00 Women’s Pool 12.00am Boots ‘n’ All 1.00 Mountain Biking

Sky Sports 3 9.30am Rallyzone 10.00 Motor Sport 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Watersports World 1.00 Mountain Biking 2.00 Ocean 2.30 Irish Greyhound Racing 3.00 Motor Sport 4.00 Tenpin Bowling: World Masters 5.00 WWE Heat 6.00 Extreme Carp 6.30 ATP Tennis 7.00 Race World 8.00 Mountain Biking 9.00 WWE Late Night Raw 11.00 Extreme Championship Wrestling 12.00am Sailing: America’s Cup 1.00 Rally Fever

Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

9.00am Project Catwalk 10.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 12.00pm Best Of Angel 1.00 Law And Order 2.00 Cold Case 3.00 Las Vegas 4.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 6.00 Malcolm In The Middle (x2) 7.00 The Simpsons (x4) 9.00 Bones 10.00 Cold Case 11.00 Law And Order 12.00am Las Vegas 1.00 Star Trek: Voyager

7.00pm Football Gaffes Galore 8.00 Filthy Rich And Homeless 9.00 Is It Cos I Is Black? 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Gavin And Stacey 11.00 Pulling 12.00am Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps (x2) 12.55 Filthy Rich And Homeless 1.55 Is It Cos I Is Black?

2.55 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps (x2)

7.00pm Sounds Of The Sixties 7.10 The Avengers 8.00 The World 8.30 Once A Soldier 9.00 The Edwardian Family Album 10.00 The Ornate Johnsons’ Edwardian Spectacular 10.30 Never Mind The Full Stops 11.00 Once A Soldier 11.30 The Edwardian Family Album 12.30am Nation On Film Special

1.00pm Coronation Street 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.40 The Ricki Lake Show 4.30 Sally Jessy Raphael 5.15 Airline USA 5.45 Judge Judy 7.00 Smallville 8.00 House Of Horrors 9.00 Katie & Peter: The Next Chapter 10.00 Generation Xcess 11.00 Supernatural 12.00am Katie & Peter: The Next Chapter

12.00pm Cagney And Lacey 1.00 Robin Of Sherwood 2.00 Never The Twain 2.35 Is It Legal? 3.05 Pie In The Sky 4.05 Cagney And Lacey 5.05 Quincy, ME 6.10 Is It Legal? 6.40 Movies Now 6.50 Lovejoy 8.00 The Two Ronnies 9.00 Hack. See highlights 10.00 The Commander 11.30 Lovejoy 12.35am Heartbeat

2.05pm Switched 2.35 The OC (x2) 4.30 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 The War At Home 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 ER 10.00 Sex In Court: What Happened Next 10.30 Sex In Court: What Happened Next 11.00 Roy Chubby Brown: Britain’s Rudest Comedian 12.05am Scrubs (x2)

12.00pm Property Ladder 1.05 Deal Or No Deal 2.00 ER (x2) 4.00 FILM: The Adventurers (1950) 5.35 A Place In The Sun 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 More4 News 8.30 The Daily Show 9.00 Grand Designs 10.30 Without A Trace 11.30 NYPD Blue 12.30am The Daily Show

1.00pm Will And Grace (x2) 2.00 I Dream Of Jeannie (x2) 3.00 Grey’s Anatomy 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 The X Files 8.00 Kath And Kim 8.30 Campus Ladies 9.00 Grey’s Anatomy (x2) 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am The X Files 1.00 Kath And Kim 1.30 Campus Ladies

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

12.00pm Charlie’s Angels 1.00 My Family 1.40 Keeping Up Appearances 2.20 Open All Hours 3.00 New Tricks (x2) 5.00 Dallas 6.00 Charlie’s Angels 7.00 Sharpe 9.00 TV Now And Then (x2) 10.20 Only Fools And Horses 11.25 I’m Alan Partridge (x2) 12.45am Little Britain 1.25 Room 101 2.00 Have I Got 2002 For You

3.00pm Two And A Half Men (x2) 4.00 King Of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Frasier (x2) 7.00 Becker (x2) 8.00 That 70s Show (x2) 9.00 Scrubs (x2) 10.00 Sex In The City (x2) 11.10 South Park 11.40 The World Stands Up 12.10am Edinburgh And Beyond 1.10 Sex In The City (x2)

1.00pm Deadliest Catch 2.00 The FBI Files 3.00 Forensic Detectives 4.00 Time Team 5.00 How It’s Made (x2) 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 Mythbusters 8.00 How Do They Do It? 8.30 How It’s Made 9.00 My Shocking Story 10.00 Deadliest Catch 11.00 The World’s Toughest Tribes 12.00am The FBI Files

12.00pm Farscape 1.00 Star Trek 2.00 The Lost World 3.00 FILM: Earthstorm (2006) 4.35 Psychic Detectives 5.00 Dark Angel 6.00 The Lost World 7.00 Roswell 8.00 Dark Angel 9.00 Stephen King’s Nightmares And Dreamscapes 10.00 Stephen King’s The Stand 11.00 Heroes 12.00am Medium

2.40pm The High And The Mighty (1954) 5.10 Blackbeard’s Ghost (1968) 7.00 A Taste Of Honey (1961) 9.00 The High And The Mighty (1954) 11.30 Tales Of Terror (1962) 1.05am The Loneliness Of The Long Distance Runner (1962) 3.05 Guns Of August (1964)

12.00pm Roads To Koktebel (2004) 2.00 Hidden (2003) 4.00 The Sea Inside (2004) 6.15 Into The Deep (1994) 7.05 AFI Sean Connery Tribute 9.00 Hidden (2003) 11.00 The Portrait Of A Lady (1996) 1.25am Roads To Koktebel (2004) 3.15 Into The Deep (1994)

1.00pm Ticket To Tomahawk (1950) 2.55 Julia (1977) 5.20 That Riviera Touch (1966) 7.10 The Englishman Who Went Up A Hill But Came Down A Mountain (1995) 9.00 Notting Hill (1999) 11.20 Movie Rush 11.25 The Rules Of Attraction (2002) 1.30am Never Die Alone (2004)

7.00am Undercurrent (1946) 9.05 The Barretts Of Wimpole Street (1956) 11.00 Arsenic And Old Lace (1944) 1.10pm 7 Faces Of Dr Lao (1964) 3.00 Sergeant York (1941) 5.25 Penelope (1966) 7.10 Escape From Fort Bravo (1953) 9.00 The Bridge On The River Kwai (1957) 12.05am Children Of The Damned (1964)

Classics

Indie

056_322_TV_fri

5/17/07

6:07 PM

Page 1

friday 25 Snake Attack Five, 8pm Just what happens when the delicate relationship between a man and his snake breaks down?

If you’ve already seen Snakes On A Plane you’ll already know that it’s not pretty… Tonight Five looks at some real-life examples of nasty bites, strangulation and even death caused by the ugly, slithery little critters.

Transmission With T-Mobile Channel 4, 11.35pm The mobile phone-branded indiefest continues with merry funsters Steve Jones and Lauren Laverne presenting the best in new music. Tonight’s show comes from good old Brighton and features tunes and chat from camp popsters Scissor Sisters (left) and outrageous punk funkers the Gossip.

Big Brother: After They Were Housemates E4, 10pm As the nation girds its collective loins for 2007’s summer soulsapping popularity contest for morons, E4 turns back the clock to find out what happened to the housemates from the first Big Brother. Remember them? No us neither. Answers on a postcard to the usual address…

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Animal Park 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.30 Cash In The Attic 12.30pm RHS Chelsea Flower Show 1.00 BBC News; Weather 1.30 Regional News And Weather 1.40 Neighbours 2.05 Doctors 2.35 Murder, She Wrote 3.20 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3.25 Pitt And Kantrop 3.50 The Likeaballs 4.00 Prank Patrol 4.30 Raven 5.00 Totally Doctor Who 5.25 Newsround 5.35 Neighbours

6.00am Fimbles 6.20 The Story Makers 6.35 Balamory 7.00 Arthur 7.15 ChuckleVision 7.30 Get 100 8.00 Bring It On 8.30 Take A Bow 8.35 The Koala Brothers 8.45 Come Outside 9.00 Boogie Beebies 9.15 Pingu 9.25 Me Too! 9.45 Something Special 10.00 Postman Pat 10.15 The Roly Mo Show 10.30 The Maths Channel (x2) 10.50 Watch 11.05 Tales Of Europe 11.20 Primary History: Black History - Black Britons (x2) 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.30 Golf: The PGA Championship 6.00 Eggheads 6.30 Great British Menu Which chefs will be flying the flag for British food at the British Ambassador’s dinner and who will be going home disappointed?

7.00 The Chewing Gum War As Cadbury launches its first chewing gum in Britain, Libby Potter goes behind the lines to investigate the strategy, the tactics and the fall-out in the gum war.

7.30 Johnny Kingdom: A Year On Exmoor 8.00 RHS Chelsea Flower Show 9.00 The Princess Spy Documentary about Noor Inayat Khan, who in 1943 became the first woman wireless operator to be sent into war-torn France.

9.50 Storm Geese Natural history show.

10.00 Balderdash & Piffle Arthur Smith tries to get to the bottom of why we go to the ‘loo’ - and discovers a surprising royal connection!

10.30 Newsnight Gavin Esler introduces comprehensive coverage of the day’s main national and international news stories.

11.00 Newsnight Review 11.40 Later With Jools Holland 12.40am FILM: Sleepstalker (1995) Supernatural horror.

2.20 Star Trek (x2) 3.55 Malcolm In The Middle

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 2.00 Inspector Wexford 3.00 For The Rest Of Your Life 4.00 Midsomer Murders

6.10am The Hoobs (x2) 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Just Shoot Me (x2) 9.00 Frasier 9.30 Booze: A Young Person’s Guide 10.30 Make Me A Grown Up 11.00 Sex, Lies And Soaps 11.30 Teen Taboos 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 Will And Grace 1.00 A Place Down Under (x2) 2.00 FILM: Terror In A Texas Town (1958) 3.30 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The New Paul O’Grady Show

6.00am The Save-Ums! 6.10 Fifi And The Flowertots 6.25 Franny’s Feet 6.35 Bird Bath 6.45 Hi-5 7.20 Roary The Racing Car 7.30 Rupert Bear 7.45 Make Way For Noddy 8.00 Say It With Noddy 8.05 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.40 What Makes Me Happy 8.50 Sandy And Mr Flapper 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 Five News 12.00pm Home And Away 12.30 House 1.30 FILM: Greener Fields (1998) 3.30 FILM: A Painted House (2003) 5.30 Five News 6.00 Home And Away Tony is furious when he learns that Matilda didn’t come home last night.

6.30 Joey Continuing second series of the underwhelming Friends spinoff. Joey is up for a part in a new show described as ‘Baywatch on skis’.

7.00 Five News National and international news.

7.15 Cricket On Five Mark Nicholas presents highlights from Headingley of day one of the second npower Test match between England and the West Indies.

8.00 Snake Attack A natural history programme with extra bite takes a look at what happens when snakes turn nasty. See highlights.

9.00 NCIS A Pentagon cryptographer is found dead amid suspicions that she may have committed suicide after leaking information.

10.00 Law And Order: Criminal Intent When five young people are found dead by the railway tracks, Goran and Eames initially write them off as suicides.

11.00 Prison Break Michael has a productive discussion with the President. Bellick and Sucre form an unlikely alliance when T-Bag makes a slip-up in Mexico.

12.00am Quiz Call Interactive quiz show giving viewers the chance to answer questions for money.

5.35 Wildlife SOS

6.00am LIVE Test Cricket (x3) 7.00pm FIFA Futbol Mundial 7.30 LIVE International Football 10.15 Test Cricket 12.15am International Football 1.45 Test Cricket 3.45 Sky Sports Classics 4.00 Moto + 4.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 5.00 LIVE Test Cricket

6.00 BBC News And Weather The latest news and weather.

6.30 South East Today; Weather Regional news magazine.

7.00 Crash: One Fatal Day On The Roads This documentary takes to the streets to join campaigners all over the country who are fighting for change to stop children dying needlessly.

8.00 EastEnders Max tries to worm his way out of trouble after Stacey backs him into a corner, but he is left facing an impossible decision.

8.30 My Family Some old friends of Susan and Ben are having marriage trouble, and Susan is out to prove that a trouble shared is a very dangerous thing.

9.00 Have I Got News For You With team captains Paul Merton and Ian Hislop and host Alexander Armstrong.

9.30 Ronni Ancona And Co Comedy series starring impressionist Ronni Ancona taking off Kate Moss, Amy Winehouse and Nicole Kidman.

10.00 BBC News; Regional News; Weather 10.35 Friday Night With Jonathan Ross Wossie’s special guests include Doctor Who assistant Freema Agyeman and rock madman Ozzy Osbourne.

11.35 FILM: Rambo: First Blood Part II (1985) 1.10am FILM: The Ghoul (1974)

6.00 Meridian Tonight Local news magazine. Including Meridian weather.

6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather The latest national and international news.

7.00 Emmerdale Marlon and Donna hit an all time low while Jo finally comes clean to Andy.

7.30 Coronation Street Maria reckons that Fiz needs to be honest with Kirk about John and Liz goes to spy on Derek’s wife.

8.00 Coronation Street Family Album When the McDonalds burst onto our screens in 1989, we knew that life on the Street would never be the same again.

8.30 Agatha Christie’s Marple: The Sittaford Mystery Another Marple murder mystery gets under way..

10.30 ITV News; Weather Latest news and weather.

11.00 It Shouldn’t Happen On A TV Soap Cast and crew from the country’s top-rated soaps give a hilarious insight into life behind the scenes in soapland for this blooper compilation show.

12.00am ITV Play: Make Your Play ITV’s interactive game show (moneyspinner) giving the chance for drunks and insomniacs to win big!

4.10 60 Minute Makeover 5.00 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.00 The Simpsons Apu faces deportation when a referendum on illegal immigrants is placed on the Springfield ballot.

6.30 Hollyoaks Katy is feeling down after hearing the truth about Justin.

7.00 Channel 4 News Including sport and weather.

7.35 Unreported World Documentary which examines the UN’s plan to make Kosovo Europe’s newest state, independent from Serbia.

8.00 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away A couple of bell-ringers are in search of a perfect retirement pad, but have to decide between Devon and the south of France.

9.00 Ugly Betty Betty, feeling let down, does her best to avoid Daniel, 10.00 Ugly Betty Betty tries to come up with the cash needed to resolve the latest Suarez family crisis.

11.00 8 Out Of 10 Cats 11.35 Transmission With T-Mobile See highlights.

12.40am 4 Music: The JD Set Presents: Forward Russia A live set from the Leeds-based alternative band.

12.55 4 Music: 4Play: Wiley 1.05 Get Your Act Together With Harvey Goldsmith 2.05 Goalissimo!

2.55 PartyPoker.com 3.55 Trans World Sport 4.50 Supporting Acts

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Ocean 7.00 Sailing: America’s Cup 9.00 Ocean 9.30 Poker Week 10.00 Boots ‘n’ All 11.00 International Football 12.30pm FIFA Futbol Mundial 1.00 ATP Tennis 1.30 Boots ‘n’ All 2.30 International Football 4.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 4.30 Boots ‘n’ All 5.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 6.00 LIVE Golf Night 8.00 Test Cricket 10.00 Golf Night 12.00am Rugby Union 2.00 Golf Night 4.00 International Football 5.30 Gillette World Sport

Sky Sports 3 10.30am IAAF Athletix Weekly 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Trans World Sport 1.00 Race World 2.00 Ocean 2.30 NBA Action 3.00 Trans World Sport 4.00 Race World 5.00 WWE Raw 7.00 Rally World 7.30 LIVE Super League 10.00 WWE Late Night Smackdown 12.00am WWE Late Night Bottom Line 1.00 Super League 3.00 Gillette World Sport 3.30 Super League 5.30 Karting: Stars Of Tomorrow

Matt Chittock

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

10.00am Stargate SG-1 (x2) 12.00pm Best Of Angel 1.00 Law And Order 2.00 Cold Case 3.00 Las Vegas 4.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 6.00 Malcolm In The Middle (x2) 7.00 The Simpsons (x3) 8.30 Crash Test Dummies 9.00 FILM: Alien Resurrection (1997) 11.00 Law And Order 12.00am Las Vegas

7.00pm Castaway 8.00 TV Gaffes Galore 9.00 Doctor Who 9.45 Doctor Who Confidential 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps (x2) 11.30 Family Guy (x2) 12.15am Rob Brydon’s Annually Retentive 12.45 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps (x2) 1.45 TV Gaffes Galore

7.00pm The Edwardians In Colour: The Wonderful World Of Albert Kahn 8.00 The World 8.30 Reputations 9.30 FILM: She Wore A Yellow Ribbon (1949) 11.10 The Avengers 12.00am Marcus Brigstocke’s Trophy People 12.30 The Edwardians In Colour: The Wonderful World Of Albert Kahn

12.30pm Airline 1.00 Emmerdale 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.40 The Ricki Lake Show 4.30 Sally Jessy Raphael 5.15 Airline USA 5.45 Judge Judy 7.00 Smallville 8.00 Big Day 8.30 American Idol: The Finale (x2) 11.30 Katie & Peter: The Next Chapter 12.30am Coronation Street

12.55pm Robin Of Sherwood 2.00 Never The Twain 2.30 Is It Legal? 3.00 Pie In The Sky 4.00 Cagney And Lacey 5.00 Quincy, ME 6.05 Is It Legal? 6.40 Film File 6.50 Lovejoy 8.00 Pie In The Sky 9.00 FILM: The Natural (1984) 11.45 Tales Of The Unexpected (x2) 12.55am Lovejoy 2.00 FILM: The Natural (1984)

2.00pm Switched 2.30 The OC (x2) 4.30 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 The War At Home 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Wife Swap 10.00 Big Brother: After They Were Housemates. See highlights. 11.05 Big Brother: According To Russell Brand 12.15am Scrubs (x2)

12.00pm Relocation, Relocation 1.05 Deal Or No Deal 2.00 ER (x2) 4.00 FILM: Three Came Home (1950) 6.00 3 Minute Wonder: Second Lives 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 More4 News 8.30 The Daily Show 9.00 Without A Trace 10.00 The Closer 11.00 Debbie Does Dallas Uncovered

12.00pm Maury 12.55 The Fix 1.00 Will And Grace (x2) 2.00 I Dream Of Jeannie (x2) 3.00 Grey’s Anatomy 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 The X Files 8.00 Close To Home 9.00 Criminal Minds 10.00 CSI: Miami 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am The X Files

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

1.00pm My Family 1.40 Keeping Up Appearances 2.20 Open All Hours 3.00 Dalziel And Pascoe 5.00 Dallas 6.00 Charlie’s Angels 7.00 Sharpe 9.00 Fawlty Towers 9.40 One Foot In The Grave 10.20 EuroMillions: Boom Bang A Bang 10.30 FILM: The Long Riders (1980) 12.30am Fawlty Towers

3.00pm Two And A Half Men (x2) 4.00 King Of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Frasier (x2) 7.00 Becker (x2) 8.00 That 70s Show (x2) 9.00 South Park (x2) 10.00 Happy Tree Friends 10.30 Jackass 11.00 Dirty Sanchez 11.30 The World Stands Up 12.00am Edinburgh And Beyond

1.00pm Deadliest Catch 2.00 The FBI Files 3.00 Forensic Detectives 4.00 Time Team 5.00 How It’s Made (x2) 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 Mythbusters 8.00 How Do They Do It? 8.30 How It’s Made 9.00 The World’s Toughest Tribes 10.00 Decoding Disaster 11.00 Most Deadly 12.00am The FBI Files

1.00pm Star Trek 2.00 The Lost World 3.00 FILM: The Adventures Of Buckaroo Banzai Across The Eighth Dimension (1984) 5.00 Dark Angel 6.00 The Lost World 7.00 Roswell 8.00 Dark Angel 9.00 Stephen King’s The Langoliers 10.50 Stephen King’s The Langoliers 12.40am FILM: The Bride (1985)

9.30am From Here To Eternity (1953) 11.30 Chaplin Today: City Lights 12.00pm Kid Brother (1927) 1.30 Speedy (1928) 3.05 McLintock! (1963) 5.15 Clambake (1967) 7.00 From Here To Eternity (1953) 9.00 McLintock! (1963) 11.10 Soldier Blue (1970) 1.10am Clambake (1967)

12.00pm All About My Mother (1999) 2.00 Transamerica (2005) 4.00 Rice Rhapsody (2004) 6.00 Indie Close-Up 6.30 Galapagos (2007) 7.15 The Holy Girl (2004) 9.00 All About My Mother (1999) 10.50 Transamerica (2005) 12.40am The Holy Girl (2004) 2.40 Indie Close-Up

1.00pm The Kidnappers (1953) 2.45 The African Queen (1951) romantic adventure classic. 4.45 The Man Who Would Be King (1975) 7.20 Carry On Abroad (1972) 9.00 Patriot Games (1992) Meagre thriller. 11.10 The Player (1992) 1.35am Carnival Of Souls (1962) Eerie cult spooker.

7.15am The Walking Stick (1970) 9.00 Betrayed (1954) 11.00 Royal Wedding (1951) 12.45pm Love Me Or Leave Me (1955) 3.00 The Unsinkable Molly Brown (1964) 5.20 Interrupted Melody (1955) 7.20 Code Name: Emerald (1985) 9.00 The Searchers (1956) 11.10 The Naked Spur (1953) 12.50am Mr Ricco (1975)

Classics

Indie

057_LS322_TV_sat

5/18/07

9:29 AM

Page 1

saturday 26 Vernon Kay’s Gameshow Marathon ITV1, 6.50pm Vernon Kay’s retro gameshow series climaxes tonight as Michael Le Vell and Graeme Le Saux battle it out to be crowned champion for their chosen charity. Tonight the weapon of choice is Brucie’s luck-of-thedraw classic Play Your Cards Right. Let battle commence.

Seven Ages Of Rock BBC2, 9.05pm Tonight rock‘n’roll prepares to grow up, freak out and frug around a lava lamp as pop takes the brown acid and goes all psychedelic. Inspired by one Mr Andrew Warhola, the Velvet Underground mix art and music while elsewhere boys meets girl becomes boy meets boy (with a girl on drums). Like, crazy man.

Cracked Actor BBC4, 11.35pm Following on from the earlierevening BBC2 rock session comes this excellent vintage documentary featuring David Bowie at his most creative, enigmatic… and coked up. Shot in 1974 it features Bowie flouncing and sniffing his way around Hollywood as he prepares his new character, Ziggy Stardust.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 10.00 Saturday Kitchen 11.30 Great British Menu 12.00pm BBC News; Weather 12.10 Football Focus 1.00 Golf: The PGA Championship 5.25 BBC News; Regional News; Weather 5.45 The Best Of Just For Laughs

6.00am Teletubbies 6.30 Balamory 6.50 Step Inside 7.00 Batfink 7.10 Arthur 7.35 Watch My Chops 8.00 Mona The Vampire 8.30 The Story Of Tracy Beaker 9.00 Hider In The House 10.00 Beat The Boss 10.30 Totally Doctor Who 11.00 The Story Of Tracy Beaker 11.25 Scooby-Doo 11.45 Sportsround 12.00pm See Hear 12.30 Coast 12.40 Animal Park 1.25 FILM: The Horse Soldiers (1959) 3.20 FILM: True Grit (1969) 5.25 International Rugby Sevens

6.00am GMTV 9.25 Horrid Henry 9.35 Grizzly Tales For Gruesome Kids 9.50 Jungle Run 10.20 King Arthur’s Disasters 10.50 My Parents Are Aliens 11.20 American Idol: The Finale 12.20pm ITV News; Weather 12.25 Meridian News And Weather 12.30 F1: Monaco Grand Prix Qualifying 2.30 FILM: Apollo 13 (1995) 5.05 Creature Comforts 5.20 Meridian News And Weather 5.35 ITV News; Sports Results; Weather 5.50 You’ve Been Framed

6.10am The Hoobs (x2) 7.00 Goalissimo! 8.00 The Morning Line 8.55 Friends 9.25 Popworld 10.15 Friends 10.45 Big Brother: After They Were Housemates 11.50 Pirates Of The Caribbean 3: T4 Movie Special 12.20pm Shipwrecked 2007: The Hut Cam Diaries 12.50 Shipwrecked 2007: Battle Of The Islands 2.00 Channel 4 Racing From Newmarket, Haydock Park And Beverley 4.00 Red Bull Air Race 5.00 Deal Or No Deal Classic 5.45 Monarchy By David Starkey

6.00am LIVE Test Cricket 9.00 Cricket AM 10.30 LIVE Test Cricket 7.00pm LIVE Spanish Football 9.00 LIVE International Football 11.00 Scottish Cup Final 12.00am Football League 12.30 International Football 2.30 Spanish Football 4.30 Football League 5.00 LIVE Test Cricket

6.25 Natural World Nature documentary featuring the wildlife of Hawaii’s famous surf zone and the surfers and scientists who are fighting to protect it.

7.15 The Culture Show A topical series featuring the best arts and culture stories of the week.

8.05 RHS Chelsea Flower Show 9.05 Seven Ages Of Rock A journey through the history of rock music.

Rock enters its second age. See highlights.

10.05 Have I Got A Bit More News For You Extended version of the classic news quiz. Alexander Armstrong is the guest host.

10.50 Balderdash & Piffle Arthur Smith tries to get to the bottom of why we go to the ‘loo’ and uncovers an intriguing royal connection.

Meanwhile Victoria tracks down one of Britain’s first glamour models to discover when the word ‘glamour’ finally lost its playful innocence to the page three girls.

11.20 FILM: The Station Agent (2003) Critically acclaimed indie drama in which a dwarf inherits a train depot in New Jersey and moves to the tiny town in order to start his life over again from scratch 12.45am The Culture Show A topical series featuring the best arts and culture stories of the week.

1.35 FILM: When Brendan Met Trudy (2000)

6.50 Vernon Kay’s Gameshow Marathon Final of the gameshow marathon, as Michael Le Vell and Graeme Le Saux battle it out to be crowned champion. Presented by Vernon Kaye. See highlights.

7.55 Grease Is The Word: Live The search to find a leading couple for a brand new production of Grease in London’s West End continues, and the competition hots up as two more hopefuls say goodbye.

9.25 Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? Chris Tarrant presents the gameshow in which ten contestants compete for a place in the hot seat to gain the chance to walk away with the top prize of one million pounds. Hopefully Chris won’t resort to chucking forks at the contestants.

10.25 The Big Fight Live Jim Rosenthal presents live coverage from ringside at London’s ExCeL Arena, as Matt Skelton defends his Commonwealth heavyweight title against Michael Sprott.

11.40 ITV News; Weather The latest national and international news, plus national weather.

12.00am ITV Play: Make Your Play ITV’s interactive game show invites the lonely and/or drunk to phone in to win big cash prizes.

3.50 Don’t Move, Improve (x2) 5.00 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.50 Channel 4 News Including sport and weather.

7.20 FILM: Porridge (1979) Screen version of the classic television comedy about the habitual prison inmate Norman Stanley Fletcher and his cellmate Lennie Godber. When the pair stumble on an escape plan during a celebrities-against-prisoners football match, they are forced to take part in the escape - but they then find themselves having to break back in.

9.05 50 Films To See Before You Die Channel 4 counts down the 50 best films of all time, as voted for by a panel of film experts. Using contributions from such leading actors and filmmakers as Quentin Tarantino and Sir Ben Kingsley, the programme offers behind-the-scenes insights into the production process and deciphers the appeal of some truly iconic films.

12.20am FILM: Apocalypse Now (1979) Powerful, controversial Vietnam War epic in which a battlefatigued captain is assigned to seek out and execute a deranged war hero who has set up a brutal dictatorship deep in the jungle. Worth watching just because it’ the movie that nearly finished off director Francis Ford Coppola.

3.00 3 Minute Wonder: War Torn (x2) 3.15 FILM: Cannonball Run II (1984) 5.15 Grudge Match

6.00am Sunrise 6.55 The Milkshake!

Show 7.25 Mist: Sheepdog Tales 7.40 Rupert Bear 7.55 Noddy (x2) 8.10 Harry And His Bucket Full Of Dinosaurs 8.25 The Book Of Pooh 9.00 Ebb And Flo 9.05 Peppa Pig 9.15 Fifi 9.30 Jane And The Dragon 10.00 Fifth Gear 11.00 Australia’s Giant Lizard: Austin Stevens Adventures 12.00pm FILM: Columbo: Murder Under Glass (1978) 1.35 FILM: Columbo: The Most Crucial Game (1972) 3.10 FILM: My Stepmother Is An Alien (1988) 5.05 FILM: Cutthroat Island (1995) 7.15 Cricket On Five Highlights of the second day’s play of the second npower Test match in the best of four series between England and the West Indies at Headingley.

8.00 Five News And Sport The latest national and international headlines.

8.10 NCIS A woman claims to have witnessed the murder of a sailor.

With scant physical evidence, there is little to go on, but McGee forges ahead, sensing that there is more to the woman’s story than meets the eye.

9.05 CSI:NY Mac and Danny investigate when a delusional ex-con who was building an ark is found dead on top of a bed of cash.

Meanwhile, Stella and Flack find a male corpse dressed in a cigarette costume that appears to have burned to death. And Stella administers lifesaving CPR to Sid Hammerback after he suffers an allergic reaction.

10.05 Law And Order When an offduty police officer is shot, detectives Briscoe and Green investigate whether the victim was targeted because of her uniform.

11.05 Angela’s Eyes Drama series about an FBI agent who works as a human lie detector.

12.05am Quiz Call Viewers get the chance to answer questions for money.

5.35 Wildlife SOS

6.15 The People’s Quiz The countrywide search for the UK’s best quizzer continues, as 10 of the 16 remaining contenders are put through their paces by Jamie Theakston and Kate Garraway.

7.10 Doctor Who England, 1913, and a schoolteacher called John Smith dreams of adventures in space.

7.55 The National Lottery Draws Ainsley Harriott is live at Lottery HQ to present the Thunderball, Dream Number and Lotto draws.

8.05 Any Dream Will Do Will the potential Josephs raise their game in order to secure their place in the competition?

9.05 Casualty Nathan does everything in his power to prevent Selena from going ahead with the abortion. Dixie’s decision about the transfer is made for her.

9.55 Any Dream Will Do Graham Norton reveals which Joseph doesn’t make the grade and leaves the competition for good.

10.25 BBC News; Weather BBC News; Weather.

10.45 FILM: Training Day (2001) Taut urban crime drama following a rookie cop’s first day of training in an elite LAPD narcotics squad headed by a veteran policeman.

12.40am Friday Night With Jonathan Ross 1.40 FILM: The Satanic Rites Of Dracula (1973)

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Test Cricket 8.00 NBA Basketball 10.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 10.30 LIVE International Rugby Union 1.00pm Live International Rugby Union 4.30 Karting: Stars Of Tomorrow 5.00 WWE Smackdown 7.00 WWE The Bottom Line 8.00 Golf Night: Live 11.00 Test Cricket 1.00am Golf Night 4.00 Super League 5.30 Gillette World Sport

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Sports Unlimited 7.00 Super League 9.00 Racing News 10.00 WWE Smackdown 12.00pm WWE The Bottom Line 1.00 Max Power 2.00 Rally World 2.30 Live Football League 5.30 Moto + 6.00 LIVE Super League 8.00 Test Cricket 10.00 Extreme Championship Wrestling 11.00 WWE: Smackdown 1.00am WWE: Late Night Bottom Line 2.00 Speedway 5.00 Sports Unlimited

Matt Chittock

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

12.00pm Star Trek: The Next Generation (x3) | 3.00 Relic Hunter 4.00 Futurama (x2) 5.00 Malcolm In The Middle (x2) 6.00 Brainiac: Science Abuse 7.00 Futurama (x2) 8.00 Cold Case 9.00 Bones 10.00 Road Wars 11.00 Football Years 12.00am 24 1.00 Brainiac: Science Abuse

7.00pm TV Gaffes Galore 7.25 The Real Hustle 7.55 Doctor Who Confidential 8.40 Top Gear 9.45 FILM: Signs (2001) 11.25 Gavin And Stacey 11.55 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps (x2) 12.50am Coming Of Age 1.20 Rob Brydon’s Annually Retentive 1.50 The Real Hustle

7.00pm The Guernica Children 7.40 Goodbye Children Everywhere 8.40 Mark Lawson Meets The Teletubbies 9.05 Children’s TV On Trial: The Kids’ Verdict 10.05 FILM: Ziggy Stardust And The Spiders From Mars 11.35 Cracked Actor: David Bowie. See highlights.

12.30am Children’s TV

1.55pm Holiday Showdown 3.00 Holidays Undercover 4.00 Holiday Airport: Lanzarote 5.00 Planet’s Funniest Animals 5.30 Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?

6.30 Smallville 7.30 Nanny 911 8.25 Honeymoons From Hell 9.25 Greased Lightnin’: Results 10.25 FILM: The Flintstones (1994) 12.05am Grease Is The Word

12.20pm Agatha Christie’s The Secret Adversary 2.50 Film File 3.00 Jeeves And Wooster 4.05 Pie In The Sky 5.10 Agatha Christie’s Partners In Crime 6.20 The Two Ronnies 7.20 Inspector Morse 9.25 Taggart 12.20am The Vice 1.50 The Bill 2.50 The Cosby Mysteries 3.35 Savage Planet

1.30pm Pussycat Dolls Present: The Search For The Next Pussycat Doll 2.30 Hollyoaks Omnibus 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 The Simple Life: Interns (x2) 6.55 Wife Swap 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 FILM: The Hole (2001) 11.00 Big Brother Funniest Moments 12.00am Big Brother: Most Outrageous Moments

9.00am Time Team (x4) 1.00pm Grand Designs (x5) 6.25 Snowmail 6.30 FILM: Very Important Person (1961) 8.25 Time Team Special 9.30 FILM: True Stories: Capturing The Friedmans (2003) Fascinating account of Us paedophiles-at-large. 11.40 The Closer 12.40am Grand Designs

12.00pm Bewitched (x2) 1.00 So You Think You Can Dance 2.00 Will And Grace (x2) 3.00 Charmed (x4) 7.00 Canada’s Next Top Model 8.00 The X Files 9.00 Grey’s Anatomy 10.00 Hotel Babylon 11.05 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am Most Haunted 1.00 Outrageous Fortune

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

5.40pm Wallace And Gromit: The Wrong Trousers 6.20 Last Of The Summer Wine 7.00 Some Mothers Do ’Ave ’Em 7.40 Porridge 8.20 Open All Hours 9.00 FILM: Terminator 3: Rise Of The Machines (2003) 11.00 I’m Alan Partridge 11.40 Doctor Who 12.40am Have I Got 2001 For You

6.00pm Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 7.00 King Of Queens (x2) 8.00 Two And A Half Men 8.30 Rules Of Engagement 9.00 South Park (x2) 10.00 Al Murray: Giving It Both Barrels 11.30 Comedy Store 12.00am Phill Jupitus At The Comedy Store 12.30 Keith Barret Live 2.05 Badly Dubbed Porn

8.00am How Do They Do It? (x2) 9.00 Time Team 10.00 The Worst Jobs In History 11.00 Tony Robinson’s Romans 12.00pm Big Machines (x7) 7.00 Outback Cowboys: The Great Australian Cattle Drive 8.00 Deadliest Catch (x3) 11.00 A Haunting 12.00am The FBI Files 1.00 The Black Widow

6.00am Robot Wars 7.00 Robot Wars 8.00 Teleshopping 11.00 Dark Angel (x5) 3.45pm The Day Of The Triffids (x2) 4.45 Invasion: Earth (x2) 6.50 Ultraviolet (x2) 9.00 Heroes (x3) 12.00am Stephen King’s Nightmares And Dreamscapes 1.00 Heroes (x3) 4.00 The Outer Limits (x2)

9.30am Tarantula (1955) 11.10 The Quiet Man (1952) 1.20pm Alfie (1966) 3.20 Tarantula (1955) 4.50 The Mark Of Zorro (1940) 6.30 Classics Close Up 7.00 Alfie (1966) 9.00 The Quiet Man (1952) 11.10 Invasion Of The Body Snatchers (1956) 12.40am Curse Of The Werewolf (1961)

12.00pm The Chorus (2004) 1.50 Don’t Move (2004) 4.00 Broken Flowers (2005) 5.50 Sci-Fi & Horror CloseUp 6.20 China’s Hollywood 7.20 The Chorus (2004) 9.00 Broken Flowers (2005) 10.50 Blue Velvet (1986) 12.50am Don’t Move (2004) 3.00 China’s Hollywood 4.00 Close

1.00pm Run Silent, Run Deep (1958) 2.55 Oliver Twist (1948) Classic gruelgrabbing tale. 5.10 The Drum (1938) 7.00 Jungle 2 Jungle (1997) 9.00 Clear And Present Danger (1994) Harrison Ford stars in a bythe-numbers action yarn.

11.40 The Eye (2002) 1.35am The Godless Girl (1929)

9.05am King Solomon’s Mines (1950) 11.00 The Postman Always Rings Twice (1946) 1.05pm Dodge City (1939) 3.00 The Last Time I Saw Paris (1954) 5.10 Elvis: That’s The Way It Is (1970) 7.00 Three Godfathers (1948) 9.00 Lenny (1974) 11.00 Friday The 13th (1980) 12.45am Shoot The Moon (1982)

Classics

Indie

058_LS322_TV_sun

5/18/07

9:30 AM

Page 1

sunday 27 Bring Back… Dallas Channel 4, 9pm Hairy comedian Justin Lee Collins continues on his quest to hassle former primetime TV stars until they agree to step back into the limelight one last time.

Tonight he attempts to reunite the original cast of 80s glam soap Dallas, in order to get them to attend his own Oil Baron’s Ball in Los Angeles.

Pirate Ship… Live!

Five, 8pm Comedian, actor and cuckolded genius Sir Victor of Reeves steps into the breach for a special two-hour mainbrace-splicing extravaganza telling the story of a pirate ship that sank off Cape Cod nearly 300 years ago. Highlights include a live dive on the wreck (hence the ‘live’ tag) plus specially filmed dramatic pieces.

Hotel California: LA From The Byrds To The Eagles BBC4, 10pm Yet another quality music documentary this week, with another chance to see the sterling rock-doc that reveals how the LA music scene turned folky strummings into hard cash and lost its soul along the way.

Featuring some great footage from the Byrds and Joni Mitchell.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.00 Sunday AM 10.00 Pentecostal Service 11.00 Countryfile 12.00pm BBC News; Weather 12.05 ‘Allo ‘Allo! 12.35 Keeping Up Appearances 1.05 Cash In The Attic 2.05 Murder, She Wrote 2.50 EastEnders 4.45 Shaun The Sheep 4.55 Points Of View 5.10 Songs Of Praise 5.45 Star Portraits With Rolf Harris

6.00am Teletubbies 6.30 Balamory 6.50 Step Inside 7.00 Batfink 7.10 Legend Of The Dragon 7.30 Smile 10.00 Something For The Weekend 11.30 Inside Sport 12.15pm Animal Park 1.00 Golf: The PGA Championship 5.30 International Rugby Sevens

6.00am GMTV 9.25 Art Attack 9.50 American Idol: The Finale 11.50 ITV News; Weather 11.55 Meridian News And Weather 12.00pm F1: Monaco Grand Prix Live 3.30 FILM: Mission: Impossible (1996) 5.30 The Unforgettable... Les Dawson

6.10am The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Trans World Sport 7.55 Lloyds TSB Insurance British F3 International Series 8.25 New Shoots: Films From Disabled Directors 8.55 Popworld 9.45 Hollyoaks Omnibus 12.20pm Shipwrecked 2007: The Hut Cam Diaries 12.55 Big Brother: According To Russell Brand 2.00 Pussycat Dolls Present: The Search For The Next Pussycat Doll 3.00 Ugly Betty 4.00 Ugly Betty 5.00 Deal Or No Deal 5.45 Scrapheap Challenge

6.00am Save-Ums! 6.10 Fifi And The Flowertots 6.20 Franny’s Feet 6.35 Bird Bath 6.45 Milkshake! 7.15 Sheepdog Tales 7.40 Noddy (x2) 8.00 Harry And His Bucket Full Of Dinosaurs (x2) 8.30 Book Of Pooh 9.00 Ebb And Flo 9.05 Peppa Pig 9.15 Fifi And The Flowertots 9.30 Jane And The Dragon 10.00 Property Ladder 11.00 Build A New Life In The Country 12.00pm Interior Rivalry 1.00 Nice House 1.30 FILM: Horatio Hornblower (1951) 3.40 Making Of Pirates Of The Caribbean 4.10 FILM: Muppet Treasure Island (1996) 6.00 Everybody Hates Chris Everything goes right for Chris when Julius lends him his lucky socks.

Drew enters the school talent show, but nobody wants to tell him the truth about his voice.

6.30 Everybody Hates Chris Things don’t go well when Chris and Julius take Christmas jobs at a department store.

6.55 Five News And Sport The latest national and international headlines.

7.15 Cricket On Five Highlights of the third day’s play of the second npower Test match between England and the West Indies. The home side won an incredible match inside two days the last time the two sides met at Headingley in 2000.

8.00 Pirate Ship... Live! See highlights.

10.00 FILM: Red Water (2003) Horror about a quartet of people being hunted by a freshwater shark on a Louisiana river. The shark’s potential dinner includes a divorced couple who are searching for a new source of energy, and a pair of thieves who are looking for some stolen goods that may lie at the bottom of the river.

12.00am BriSCA Formula One Stock Car Racing 12.50 Major League Baseball 4.20 Boxing USA 5.10 Major League Soccer

6.00am LIVE Test Cricket 9.30 Cricket Writers On TV 10.30 LIVE Test Cricket 4.30pm LIVE Test Cricket 7.00 Football League 8.00 LIVE Golf Night: Live 11.00 Football League 12.00am Spanish Football 2.00 Football League 3.00 Test Cricket 5.00 Moto + 5.30 Gillette World Sport

6.15 Castaway Danny Wallace announces the result of the final viewers’ vote and reveals the name of the winning castaway.

6.50 Antiques Roadshow Experts invite members of the public to bring along their antiques for examination.

7.35 BBC News; Regional News; Weather 7.55 Regional News And Weather 8.00 Lusitania: Murder On The Atlantic Drama based on the events of May 1915, when the passenger liner Lusitania was sunk just off the coast of Ireland by a single torpedo fired from the German submarine U20 and almost 1,200 passengers and crew lost their lives.

9.30 The Vicar Of Dibley 10.00 BBC News; Weather 10.20 Medium Supernatural drama series.

11.00 Seven Ages Of Rock A journey through the history of rock music.

12.00am FILM: Girl From Rio (2003) Comedy about a Samba-obsessed London clerk who, upon discovering his wife is sleeping with his boss, robs a bank on Christmas Eve and flees to Rio de Janeiro. The cast, including Hugh Laurie and Vanessa Lunes fail to generate much heat.

1.40 Sign Zone: Holby City 2.40 Antiques Roadshow 3.30 Missing 4.15 Joins BBC News 24

7.30 Big Cat Diary: Family Histories Saba Douglas-Hamilton follows the life of Bella the leopard and her family. Bella is in her prime, about 8 years old and owner of a territory centred around a stretch of the Talek river in the Masai Mara in Kenya.

8.00 The Best Of Top Gear The best bits of the motoring magazine.

9.00 Tribe Documentary series with explorer Bruce Parry. He continues his three-month expedition through a remote African valley, staying with a tribe whose young men prove themselves by jumping over a line of cattle. Bruce is challenged to join the ritual.

10.00 Graham Norton Uncut Miriam Margolyes and Ardal O’Hanlon are Graham’s guests.

10.45 Radio 1’s Big Weekend Live music from Radio 1’s souped-up roadshow featuring Scissor Sisters, LCD Soundsystem and a raft of wunnerful Radio 1 DJs. 11.45 FILM: The Glass Shield (1994) Police thriller about a pair of rookie cops who find themselves victims of corruption within their own force. The first black officer in the Sheriff’s Department struggles against the racially-hostile attitudes of the other officers, but finds an ally in the only female member of the department.

1.30am FILM: Psychomania (1971)

6.00 Tiger Island Chris Packham presents a series which follows the day-to-day lives of the keepers and the exotic big cats at the Isle of Wight Tiger Sanctuary.

6.25 Meridian News And Weather Latest regional news and weather.

6.40 ITV News; Weather The latest national and international news, plus national weather.

7.00 Coronation Street Family Album Celebrating the lives of the Duckworths, who moved into Coronation Street over 30 years ago.

7.30 Coronation Street The Street rallies round to help the Peacocks after the fire and Kirk’s hopes of winning Fiz back are dashed.

8.00 Heartbeat A valuable pendant is stolen from a guest at the Aidensfield Arms.

9.00 Kingdom Lyle is feeling totally undervalued and Peter, realising that unless he gives him some responsibility he’ll leave, sends him off to meet an old Polish Auschwitz survivor.

10.00 ITV News; Weather 10.15 This Is David Gest David decides to cement his success in the UK by moving to the country.

11.00 F1: Monaco Grand Prix Highlights Highlights from the Monaco Grand Prix.

12.05am Motorsport UK 12.40 ITV Play: Glitterball 4.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show

6.45 Shipwrecked 2007: Battle Of The Islands Desert island reality series in which two rival groups are marooned on neighbouring islands in the South Pacific. It’s the final week and tensions run high as the tribes await the final verdict.

7.45 Channel 4 News Including sport and weather.

8.00 Wife Swap A flamboyant Vegas mum who pampers her four children swaps places with a Texas mother proud of her messy household.

9.00 Bring Back... Dallas Justin Lee Collins continues his quest to doorstep former entertainment stars and bring them back into the limelight. See highlights.

10.30 Big Brother: After They Were Housemates 11.35 Big Brother: According To Russell Brand Former Big Brother’s Big Mouth presenter Russell Brand takes a surreal, sideways look at the show.

12.40am Corinne Bailey Rae: Live In New York The acclaimed songstress’ sold-out performance at New York’s Webster Hall in Autumn 2006.

1.25 4Play: Jack Savoretti 1.40 Get Your Act Together With Harvey Goldsmith 2.40 Silver Surfers 3.40 How To Cope With Death 3.45 Dancing Under The Dustcover

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Test Cricket 8.00 International Football 10.00 Scottish Cup Final 11.00 Football League 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Spanish Football 2.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 2.30 LIVE Football League 5.30 Gillette World Sport 6.00 LIVE Spanish Football 10.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 10.30 Test Cricket 12.30am Golf Night 3.30 Spanish Football 5.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Watersports World 7.00 International Rugby Union 9.00 WWE Afterburn 10.00 WWE Heat 11.00 Gillette World Sport 11.30 Speedway 2.30pm US Superbikes 4.30 WWE Experience 5.30 LIVE Indianapolis 500 10.00 WWE Late Night Afterburn 11.00 WWE Heat 12.00am Watersports World 1.00 Indianapolis 500 3.30 Watersports World 4.30 Rally World 5.00 LIVE Test Cricket

Matt Chittock

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

1.00pm Star Trek: The Next Generation (x2). Sci-fi action. 3.00 So You Think You’re Royal? 4.00 Project Runway 5.00 Malcolm In The Middle 5.30 Best Of Malcolm In The Middle 6.00 The Simpsons (x4) 8.00 Dream Team 9.00 24 10.00 Lost 11.00 Lost 12.00am Badger Or Bust 1.00 Deadwood

7.00pm Castaway Exposed 7.30 Dog Borstal Unleashed 8.00 Doctor Who 8.45 Doctor Who Confidential 9.00 Gavin And Stacey 9.30 Little Britain Abroad 10.00 Filthy Rich And Homeless 11.00 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps (x2) 12.00am Gavin And Stacey

7.00pm In Concert: The Eagles 7.35 Animation Nation 8.35 Did You See? The Biddy Baxter Story 9.00 Children’s TV On Trial 10.00 Hotel California: LA From The Byrds To The Eagles.

See highlights. 11.30 California Comes To The Whistle Test 12.30am Children’s TV On Trial 1.30 Hotel California

1.00pm FILM: The Flintstones (1994) 2.45 Coronation Street Omnibus 4.50 Vernon Kay’s Gameshow Marathon 6.00 American Idol: The Finale (x2) 9.00 Supernatural 10.00 Generation Xcess: Sex & Celebrity 11.00 FILM: Spun (2002) 1.05am Coronation Street 1.35 ITV Play: Glitterball

2.05pm Agatha Christie’s: Seven Dials Mystery 4.55 Inspector Morse 7.00 The Magnificent Seven 8.00 The Best Of The Royal Variety 9.00 Super Sleuths: Inspector Wexford 10.00 Kingdom... Behind The Scenes 11.05 FILM: The Mirror Has Two Faces (1996) 1.30am Where The Heart Is

1.35pm Pirates Of The Caribbean 3: T4 Movie Special 2.05 Popworld 2.55 Shipwrecked 2007: Battle Of The Islands 4.00 Friends (x2) 5.00 One Tree Hill 6.00 What About Brian 6.55 Friends (x2) 8.00 Ugly Betty 9.00 Ugly Betty 10.00 ER 11.00 One Tree Hill 11.55 Robbie Williams: Live At Abbey Road

12.30pm Come Dine With Me (x5) 3.10 Time Team 4.10 FILM: The History Of Mr Polly (1949) 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 6.55 The Real Dad’s Army 8.00 The West Wing 9.00 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares 10.00 Cutting Edge: Meet The Au Pairs 11.05 Father Ted (x2) clerical comedy. 12.10am Sex In The 70s

3.00pm FILM: Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle (2003) 5.00 Will And Grace (x2) 6.00 The Bad Girls Club 6.30 Tori And Dean: Inn Love 7.00 Exposed: Kate Moss 8.00 Abbey And Janice: Beauty And The Best 9.00 CSI: Miami 10.00 Criminal Minds 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am Most Haunted

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

5.15pm The Thin Blue Line (x2) 6.35 Only Fools And Horses 7.40 One Foot In The Grave 8.20 The Vicar Of Dibley 9.00 Dalziel And Pascoe 10.55 Jack Dee’s Happy Hour 11.35 Men Behaving Badly 12.15am Silent Witness 2.30 Charlie’s Angels (x3) 5.00 Yes, Minister 5.30 Icons 5.35 Neighbours

3.00pm Stacked (x2) 4.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 5.00 Stacked (x2) 6.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 7.00 Stacked (x2) 8.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 9.00 South Park (x2) 10.00 Lee Evans XL Tour 2005 Live 11.20 Peter Kay At The Comedy Store 11.50 Jack Dee Live At The Apollo 1.30am Badly Dubbed Porn

12.00pm My Shocking Story (x7) 7.00 The Real Life Thumbelina 8.00 The World’s Toughest Tribes 9.00 Deadliest Catch 10.00 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls 11.00 The World’s Strangest UFO Stories 12.00am My Shocking Story 1.00 Unsolved History 2.00 Forensic Detectives

1.55pm FILM: Disappearance (2002) 3.45 The Day Of The Triffids 4.15 The Day Of The Triffids 4.45 Invasion: Earth 5.50 Invasion - Earth 6.50 Ultraviolet 7.55 Ultraviolet 9.00 Medium 10.00 Heroes 11.00 Stephen King’s Nightmares And Dreamscapes 12.00am Stephen King’s The Stand

12.00pm Zulu (1964) 2.20 The Italian Job (1969) 4.05 The Top 10 Show 4.25 The Gold Rush 5.00 The Little Foxes (1941) 7.00 All About Eve (1950) 9.20 Zulu (1964) 11.40 The Party (1968) 1.20am Kiss Me, Stupid (1964) 3.25 Monkey Business (1952) 5.05 The Party (1968)

12.00pm L’enfant (2005) 2.00 The Beat My Heart Skipped (2005) 4.00 The Edukators (2004) 6.15 Survival Island 7.00 Mad Hot Ballroom 9.00 L’enfant (2005) 10.40 Ong-Bak (2004) 12.30am Mad Hot Ballroom 2.30 Action & Thriller Close-Up 3.00 Survival Island

1.00pm The Godless Girl (1929) 3.00 The Man In The Iron Mask (1977) 5.05 The Undefeated (1969) 7.20 The Brady Bunch Movie (1995) 9.00 I, Robot (2004) Sci-fi with Will Smith as humanity’s last hope against the robot menace.

11.05 You Can Count On Me (2000) 1.10am The Hustler (1961)

1.05pm The Wizard Of Oz (1939) Fantasy classic with Dorothy & Co. 3.00 Some Came Running (1958) 5.30 Murder, She Said (1961) 7.10 Soylent Green (1972) 9.00 Absolute Power (1997) 11.15 The Exorcist (1973) 1.30am Tarzan The Ape Man (1932) 3.15 Teleshopping 3.35 The Sheepman (1958)

Classics

Indie

059_LS322_TV_mon

5/18/07

9:31 AM

Page 1

monday 28 Let Me Entertain You BBC2, 6.30pm Entertainment regular Brian Conley presents the variety show with a twist – through the magic of TV, the studio audience decides how long each amateur act will spend in the limelight; if only we had this option when it was Chico time. A timely reminder that variety’s not dead, it just smells a bit funny.

Power To The People BBC2, 9pm Political agent provocateur Tim Samuels (left) turns his attentions this week toward helping some of the most neglected old people in Britain break the pop charts.

Nope it’s not the Rolling Stones – but the Zimmers, a 40-strong troupe with a combined age of over 3,000, led by 90-year-old band leader Alf.

Indian School BBC4, 11.05pm Fascinating series following two secondary schools in the IT boom city of Pune, India. Bhojwani Academy is an alternative school catering to Pune’s more liberal middle-class families. Nine-yearold Rahul is the naughtiest boy in his class, but rather than receiving a quick cuff round the ear meditation brings him into line.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.00 Animal Park 9.45 Homes Under The Hammer 10.45 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.10 Cash In The Attic 11.55 Bargain Hunt 12.40pm BBC News; Weather 12.55 Regional News And Weather 1.05 ‘Allo ‘Allo! 1.35 Keeping Up Appearances 2.05 Murder, She Wrote 2.50 FILM: The Parent Trap (1998) 4.50 FILM: Father Of The Bride 2 (1995)

6.00am Fimbles 6.20 The Story Makers 6.35 Balamory 7.00 Postman Pat 7.15 Come Outside 7.30 Springwatch 8.00 Springwatch Trackers 8.30 Scooby-Doo 8.50 SMart 9.15 Mona The Vampire 9.40 Watch My Chops 10.05 Best Of Friends 10.35 Even Stevens 10.45 Pathways Of Belief: Sikhism 11.00 FILM: High School Musical (2006) 12.35pm FILM: The Comancheros (1961) 2.15 Living In The Sun 3.15 Escape To The Country 4.00 Flog It! Ten Of The Best 4.45 Eggheads 5.15 The Weakest Link 6.00 The People’s Quiz 6.30 Let Me Entertain You See highlights.

7.00 Facing The Truth 8.00 Springwatch Bill Oddie, Kate Humble and Simon King follow the fortunes of a cast of unforgettable wildlife characters at the climax of spring.

9.00 Power To The People See highlights.

10.00 FILM: The Pledge (2001) Atmospheric drama following a veteran detective as he investigates a child murder in small-town Nevada, a case he carries over into his retirement by moving into the neighbourhood where the killing occurred.

12.00am Springwatch Nightshift The Springwatch team train their cameras on the nightshifters of the animal world, including badgers, bats, owls and anything that goes bump in the night, for a privileged look behind the scenes in the wild.

2.00 BBC Learning Zone 3.30 Schools: Spain Inside Out

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 60 Minute Makeover 11.30 60 Minute Makeover 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 2.00 Inspector Morse 3.00 For The Rest Of Your Life 4.00 FILM: Agatha Christie’s Sparkling Cyanide (1983)

6.10am The Hoobs (x2) 7.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 8.00 Just Shoot Me (x2) 8.55 Frasier 9.20 FILM: Mighty Morphin Power Rangers (1995) 11.00 Friends (x2) 12.00pm Pirates Of The Caribbean 3: T4 Movie Special 12.25 A Place Down Under (x2) 1.25 FILM: Alaska (1996) 3.30 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The New Paul O’Grady Show

6.00am The Save-Ums! 6.10 Fifi And The Flowertots 6.25 Franny’s Feet 6.35 Bird Bath 6.45 Hi-5 7.20 Roary 7.30 Rupert Bear 7.45 Noddy (x2) 8.00 8.05 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.40 Miss Spider’s Sunny Patch Friends 8.55 Sandy And Mr Flapper 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 Five News 12.00pm House Doctor 12.30 House 1.30 FILM: The Madness Within (1977) 3.30 FILM: Perry Mason: The Case Of The Lost Love (1987) 5.30 Five News 5.40 FILM: Airplane! (1980) 7.10 Five News National and international news.

7.15 Cricket On Five Mark Nicholas presents highlights of the fourth day’s play of the second npower Test match between England and the West Indies at Headingley. Commentary and analysis provided by Geoffrey Boycott, Simon Hughes and Ian Bishop.

8.00 Fifth Gear Motoring magazine show.

9.00 Paul Merton In China Series following Paul Merton as he travels through China. Paul tries his hand at kung fu at the Shaolin Temple, famed as the birthplace of Zen Buddhism, before visiting a Tibetan monastery and meeting nomads who live on the plains.

10.00 Prison Break Sara is forced to sacrifice herself in order to enable Michael and Lincoln to get out of the States.

11.00 FILM: Anaconda (1997) Daft, misconceived comedy action adventure about a documentary film crew’s encounter with a terrifying 40ft snake. Stars the stellar acting talent of Jennifer Lopex and Ice Cube.

12.35am NASCAR Nextel Cup Highlights from the latest round of the Nextel Cup. 1.25 USPGA Golf 2.15 NBA Basketball 5.10 A1 Grand Prix

6.00am Football League 7.00 Spanish Football 9.00 Football League 10.00 Morning Report 11.00 Morning Report 12.00pm LIVE Super League 2.00 LIVE Football League 5.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly 6.00 LIVE Darts: Premier League 12.00am Test Cricket 2.00 Super League

6.30 South East Today; Weather Regional news magazine.

7.00 Celebrity MasterChef Sally Gunnell, Martin Hancock and Emma Forbes take on two tests for a place in the quarter-final, by cooking for the judges and for paying restaurant customers at Quaglino’s.

7.30 Open All Hours Arkwright invents a saint’s day so that Granville can check the pockets of a foreign visitor whom he suspects of shoplifting.

8.00 EastEnders Denise finds Libby and Darren in a compromising situation. Sean returns, but will he be able to win back Chelsea? May’s visitor strengthens her resolve.

8.30 Panorama A report about how a British woman swapped Manchester for life with the Sicilian Mafia.

9.00 New Tricks 10.00 BBC News; Regional News; Weather 10.35 Not Going Out Kate and Lee are forced to take in a lodger – a surly 14-year-old boy Nicky.

11.05 Inside Sport 11.45 FILM: Arthur’s Dyke (2001) Three university friends reunite 20 years after walking Offa’s Dyke to recreate the feat.

1.35am Sign Zone: Superstorm 2.35 It’s Not Easy Being Green 3.05 Demolition 3.35 Missing

6.00 You’ve Been Framed! A comical plane crash and a flying dog are among the clips featured in this latest compilation of home video howlers, presented by Harry Hill.

6.25 Meridian Tonight Local news magazine. Including Meridian weather.

6.40 ITV Evening News; Weather The latest national and international news.

7.00 Emmerdale Everyone’s confused when Len turns up at his own wake while Edna is horrified when a drunken Pearl makes a pass at Alan.

7.30 Coronation Street Claire is investigated by the police - and is arrested in connection with the fire.

8.00 Airline 8.30 Coronation Street Claire only digs herself in deeper when she tries to explain to the police about Casey.

9.00 FILM: Ocean’s Eleven (2001) Slick crime caper in which a thief, recently released from prison, rounds up a team of top criminals to rob three Las Vegas casinos.

11.05 ITV News; Weather 11.20 Championship Play-Off Final Matt Smith and Robbie Earle present extended highlights of the 2007 Championship play-off final.

12.20am UEFA Champions League Weekly 12.45 ITV Play: Glitterball 4.05 Everything Must Go

6.00 The Simpsons In an attempt to gain a better understanding of today’s music, Homer takes Bart and Lisa to the Hullabalooza music festival.

6.30 Hollyoaks Josh is desperate to get back together with Amy but faces obstacles in Mike Barnes and Michaela.

7.00 Channel 4 News Including sport and weather.

7.05 FILM: Star Trek: Nemesis (2001) Captain Jean-Luc Picard and the crew of the USS Enterprise take on a diplomatic mission to initiate peace with the Romulans.

9.00 Brits Get Rich In China Documentary following the risky business ventures of three British entrepreneurs as they attempt to cash in on China’s booming economy.

10.15 ER Kovac feels the pressure when he has to deal with an overflow of cases before the ER is closed down for renovations. Sam befriends a terminally ill photojournalist with a negative outlook.

11.20 Sport’s Dirty Secrets Twopart programme uncovering eighteen of the most shocking scandals to have hit sport over the last century.

12.20am Garbage: Video Exclusive 12.25 Sex And The City 1.35 Six Feet Under 2.40 Transmission With T-Mobile 4.20 FILM: Highly Dangerous (1950) 5.55 In Your Dreams

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Test Cricket 8.00 Indianapolis 500 10.30 LIVE Test Cricket (x2) 7.00pm Ocean 7.30 Wild Spirits 8.00 Test Cricket 10.00 Rugby Union 12.30am Football League 2.30 World Motor Sport

Sky Sports 3 6.00am LIVE Test Cricket 12.00pm Ocean 12.30 NBA Basketball 2.30 LIVE Rugby Union (x2) 7.30 Football League 9.30 Wild Spirits 10.00 WWE Late Night Bottom Line 11.00 WWE Late Night Afterburn 12.00am Extreme Championship Wrestling 1.00 WWE Heat 2.00 WWE Late Night Raw 4.15 Sky Sports Classics 4.30 Wild Spirits 5.00 LIVE Test Cricket

Matt Chittock

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

9.00am Malcolm In The Middle (x2) 10.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 12.00pm Buffy (x2) 2.00 Best Of Bones (x2) 4.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 6.00 Malcolm In The Middle (x2) 7.00 The Simpsons (x4) 9.00 Project Runway 10.00 So You Think You’re Royal? 11.00 FILM: Alien Resurrection (1997) 1.00am Best Of Bones

7.00pm The Scam Squad 7.30 Freaky Eaters 8.30 Dog Borstal Unleashed 9.00 Little Britain 9.30 The Scum Also Rises 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Rob Brydon’s Annually Retentive 11.00 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps (x2) 12.00am The Scum Also Rises 12.30 Gavin And Stacey

7pm It Started With Swap Shop 9.00 Children’s TV On Trial 10.00 Ivor The Engine And The Story Of Small Films 10.25 The Clangers 10.35 Blue Peter: John Noakes 11.05 Indian School.

See highlights 11.35 Are We Having Fun Yet? 12.35am Children’s TV On Trial 1.35 Indian School 2.05 Are We Having Fun Yet?

1.30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.40 FILM: Dennis The Menace Strikes Again (1998) 5.25 Airline USA 5.55 Judge Judy 7.10 Planet’s Funniest Animals 7.25 Grease Is The Word 9.00 Teen Boob Jobs: Too Much Too Young 9.30 Teen Sex: Too Much Too Young 10.00 FILM: Spun (2002) 12.05am Coronation Street (x2)

1.40pm The Two Ronnies 2.40 Ronnie Corbett: Ronnie And Me 2.45 The Two Ronnies 3.45 Ronnie Corbett: Ronnie And Me 3.50 The Two Ronnies (x3) 6.50 Ronnie Corbett: Ronnie And Me 6.55 The Two Ronnies (x5) 11.40 Ronnie Corbett: Ronnie And Me 11.45 The Two Ronnies (x3) 2.45am Ironside

2.00pm Switched 2.30 The OC (x2) 4.30 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 The War At Home 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 FILM: Memoirs Of An Invisible Man (1992) 11.00 Big Brother: After They Were Housemates 12.05am Scrubs (x2) 1.05 The War At Home 1.35 Switched

9.00am Deal Or No Deal 9.45 Property Ladder US 10.30 How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 11.30 Relocation, Relocation 12.35pm A Place In The Sun 1.05 Deal Or No Deal 2.00 ER 3.00 The Practice 4.00 FILM: A Man Alone (1955) 5.50 The 100 Greatest War Films (x2) 12.10am NYPD Blue

4.00pm Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 The X Files 8.00 The Bad Girls Club 8.30 Tori And Dean: Inn Love 9.00 Abbey And Janice: Beauty And The Best 10.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am The X Files 1.00 Abbey And Janice: Beauty And The Best 2.00 Charmed

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

2.50pm The Vicar Of Dibley 3.30 FILM: Carry On Henry (1971) 5.20 Porridge 6.00 FILM: Roxanne (1987) 8.10 The Vicar Of Dibley 9.00 The Worst Week Of My Life 9.40 Only Fools And Horses 10.45 The Vicar Of Dibley 11.35 One Foot In The Grave 12.15am Only Fools And Horses 1.25 Porridge 2.05 The Worst Week Of My Life

2.15pm Scrubs (x2) 3.15 Less Than Perfect (x2) 4.15 Scrubs (x2) 5.15 Less Than Perfect (x2) 6.15 Scrubs (x2) 7.15 FILM: Wayne’s World 2 (1993) 9.00 Two And A Half Men 9.30 Rules Of Engagement 10.05 FILM: Forrest Gump (1994) 12.45am Edinburgh And Beyond 1.45 Badly Dubbed Porn 2.15 Ally McBeal (x2)

3.00pm Da Vinci Declassified 4.00 Outback Cowboys: The Great Australian Cattle Drive 5.00 The World’s Strangest UFO Stories 6.00 The World’s Greatest Conspiracy Theories 7.30 Conspiracies On Trial 8.00 Mythbusters 10.00 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls 11.00 My Shocking Story 12.00am The FBI Files

11.00am FILM: Thirst (1998) 12.40pm First Born (x2) 3.45 The Day Of The Triffids (x2) 4.45 Invasion: Earth 5.50 Invasion: Earth 6.50 Ultraviolet (x2) 9.00 Medium 10.00 Heroes 11.00 Who Wants To Be A Superhero?

12.00am FILM: The Mating Habits Of The Earthbound Human (1999) 1.55 Medium 3.00 ReGenesis 4.00 Profiler

9.00am The Ipcress File (1965) 11.00 Funeral In Berlin (1966) 1.00pm Billion Dollar Brain (1967) 3.00 The Glenn Miller Story (1954) 5.00 The Ipcress File (1965) 7.00 Funeral In Berlin (1966) 9.00 Billion Dollar Brain (1967) 10.50 Seconds (1966) 12.45am The Rain People (1969)

1.50pm Breakfast On Pluto (2007) 4.00 Bombon, El Perro (2004) 5.45 Sci-Fi & Horror Close-Up 6.15 Blue Planet (1990) 7.15 WalMart: The High Cost Of Low Price (2005) 9.00 Pecker (1998) 10.30 Mulholland Falls (1996) 12.40am WalMart: The High Cost Of Low Price (2005)

1.00pm The Ghost And Mrs Muir (1947) 3.10 That Riviera Touch (1966) 5.00 The Pink Panther Strikes Again (1976) 7.00 The Thomas Crown Affair (1968) Modish Sixties intrigue. 9.00 Enduring Love (2004) 10.50 Some Voices (2000) 12.50am Scenes From A Marriage (1974)

6.55am Action Of The Tiger (1957) 8.35 Mrs Parkington (1944) 11.00 Butterfield 8 (1960) 1.05pm Hearts Of The West (1975) 3.00 Seems Like Old Times (1980) 5.00 One, Two, Three (1961) 7.00 There’s A Girl In My Soup (1970) 9.00 Arthur (1981) 10.50 Wise Guys (1986) 12.30am Cool Breeze (1972)

Classics

Indie