Latest 7 Issue 323: 29-4 June 2007

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5/24/07

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latest

Cars The weekly listings and TV guide 29 May–4 June 2007 FREE

£11,990

£4,990 from tempest4cars see page 4

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show time! the burt brill and cardens’ university of brighton graduate show

jobs highly paid professional positions

sounds fantastic win tickets to 80s night at music park

software developer brighton

let us spray perfect tanning the easy way

marketing assistant fdm group, brighton

see page 47

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Latest Cars

contents

latest cars

5/24/07

22 Latest hot list

Simon Asphar discovers a virtual showroom of great classic cars

Our top restaurants, cafés and bars

24 Cinema 7 What Katie says

Local listings reviewed and rated

Katie on the abortion debate

26 Music 8 Eminemmylou

Rufus Wainwright and the latest music news from the local scene and beyond

Gram Parsons’ Hippie Boy

8 Dani’s diary

28 Radio Reverb

On the hunt for work – and new shoes

9 Social diary

19

28 Foxy Mamma Malone

The Brighton Hip Hop Festival launch

10 Celebcity

Baby Malone is on the move

29 Nightlife

Extending thanks for a successful Brighton Festival Fringe 2007

Club nights and our bar of the week

30 Gay 11 Competitions

A man looking to sue over a gay kiss

Win tickets to the Music Park 2007

31 Theatre 11 Crossword

Waltz, dance and sweet soul music

Test your word knowledge

33 Events & kids 12 Bare cheek

The Big Culture Show 2007 is here

The locals’ view on the recent Festival

34 Art 12 Stars

Modern-day art with unique pictures captured by the light of a mobile phone

The week ahead with Astral Angi

13 Stand-up comedy

26

35 Latest listings

What’s behind every great comedian...

13 Marc the vet

This week’s must-sees

36 Reviews

Under the sea at Adur World Oceans Day

14 Fashion

Casting a critical eye over recent shows

37 Day-by-day guide

How to get glamour on a budget

Our complete guide to local gigs, clubs, comedy, theatre and family events

15 Graduate Show Fashion and more at the University of Brighton’s spectacular Graduate Show

19 Bridal Open Day

43 Venue directory Your comprehensive venue guide

Fancy a career change? See our jobs section for top new positions

latest jobs

A natural summer glow with the St Tropez air spray tan at Beauty Works

48 Latest TV

21 Food

Complete television listings guide, must-see TV movies and Dani’s take on some of this week’s shows

Andrew Kay visits Cromwells at Golding Barn, Small Dole, and on page 14 visits The Blue Man’s new Brighton premises

01273 818150 Production Director Fiona McTernan Finance Manager Sharon Caple Art Director Stephen King Production Manager Neil Ive Website Manager Paul Burgess Production Editor Victoria Nangle Production Assistant Zara Friend

Chief Sub-editor Wendy McAngus Senior Sub-editor Philippa Smith Sub-editors Ashley Bird Hayley Carmichael Viv Craske Joe Curtin Hugh Farmar Billy Imrie Jane Utting Anita Wilkinson Designers Anand Day Peter Knight Jamie Powell Steve Sawyer Music Editor Jeff Hemmings

Staff Writers Matt Chittock Craig Driver Katie Glass Dani Winch

Starts page 7

Latest Listings The Brighton, Hove and Sussex day-by-day guide to what’s on, with highlights of music, nightlife, film, art, comedy, stage and other events Starts page 24

Latest TV

Advertising Director Lynne Edwards Advertising Manager Kate Knight Advertising Sales Marie Viviani Administration Heather Holland Claire Peerless Stefan Reszczynski Latest Homes Unit 1, Level 5 North New England House New England Street Brighton BN1 4GH

Editorial: editorial@thelatest.co.uk Advertising: lynne@thelatest.co.uk

In-depth look at local companies and the best highly paid jobs this week Starts page 44

31 latest tv

Creative Director Andrew Kay

All the best columnists: Katie, Dani, Eminemmylou, Marc the vet, Andrew Kay, Victoria Nangle, Cheeky Boys and Mamma Malone

Latest Jobs

20 Health

Business Director Angi Mariani

Latest 7 Upfront

44 Latest jobs

Join the wedding experts at Simultane

Editor Bill Smith

Hundreds of quality cars for sale every week with Tempest4cars See page 4

15

Connecting people by the forces of radio

latest listings latest 7 upfront

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The best-loved TV guide in the world… probably! Your complete inimitable guide to what’s on TV this week, plus the best films and Dani’s unique take on what’s on Starts page 48

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CARS

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CARS

Cars

Cast your net Simon Asphar goes surfing for a great classic car deal and finds the perfect site My old mate Harry is a classic car bore – endless weekend meets in windy fields and tedious drives holding up the Saturday traffic are his idea of fun. Well, what can you expect from an ex-public schoolboy? Just kidding!

Actually, Harry’s a top bloke and he put me on to this brilliant web site I thought may be of interest to some of you, and not just the expublic schoolboys among you (there are other web sites out there for you!).

Owners looking to sell their cherished historic vehicle have immediate, no-cost access to millions of potential buyers across the world through the ‘virtual showroom’ provided by www.classiccarsforsale.co.uk.

Now celebrating its fifth birthday, the website regularly hits the number 1 spot as the mostvisited classic car industry site in Britain, with a market share approaching 50 per cent. In addition, it is in the top three per cent of all British automotive sites and is consistently one of the top ten per cent most visited of all the hundreds of thousands of websites, irrespective of subject, in the UK. The site receives an average of 0.5 million hits per day – 15 million a month. 225,000 unique visitors currently use it each month, and that figure is steadily growing, giving sellers an unrivalled opportunity to showcase their vehicle. Sellers can upload full details of their car, along with a selection of images, and it is immediately catalogued and displayed on the site, together with the vendor’s contact details. There is no charge to private vendors listing a car and no commission charged when it sells. Classic car dealers have also welcomed the immediate access to the vast audience that the site provides, so trade ads appear along with those from private sellers,

giving potential buyers plenty of scope to track down the car of their dreams. Over 700 dealers are already registered with the site – including 200 from overseas – and new dealer enquiries are received every day.

The site is free to use for buyers, who can narrow their search down precisely, using several criteria, including marque and model, year, price, LHD/RHD and even colour. They can also register their requirements in the ‘Classic Cars Wanted’ section, allowing vendors to contact them should they have a suitable vehicle on offer. Or, they can use the ‘Classic Car Alert’ facility, whereby they input the make and model they are looking for, and the site automatically emails them when such a vehicle is listed for sale.

“As well as acting as a 24/7 online collectors’ car showroom, it is now a thriving community” Charles Leith, classiccarsforsale.co.uk’s sales director says: “We have had a tremendous response. Private sellers are delighted to have the opportunity to display their car online, free of charge, to potential buyers across the world, and dealers have been quick to promote vehicles through the site, appreciating again the unrivalled access it offers. And, whether they’re looking for a restoration project or a Concours beauty, buyers value the chance to search for a car at any time, day or night.”

www.classiccarsforsale.co.uk features cars for all tastes and budgets, ranging from starter classics like a Mini or Morris Minor for under £1,000 up to six-figure supercars and rare collectors’ machines. Private and trade vendors have found new homes for thousands of cars through the site, from venerable veterans to popular or exotic classics from the 1930s, 40s, 50s, 60s and 70s, up to ‘contemporary classics’ – or classics of tomorrow – from the 1990s and the present decade. Saloons, sportscars, estates, rally machines and racers have all sold to buyers who discovered them on the site.

One very happy vendor sold his 1991 Mercedes 300SL in just seven days. During that time there were 126 online views and the owner received five emails and four phone calls from prospective buyers. Another private vendor commented, “Fantastic site. I sold my car easily and effortlessly following a very good response to the advert. Very friendly and helpful staff made the whole business hasslefree. It is by far the best online site for selling a classic or vintage car.”

To mark its fifth anniversary, www.classiccarsforsale.co.uk has expanded its scope. As well as acting as a 24/7 online collectors’ car showroom, it is now a thriving community for classic car owners and fans.

The ‘Workshop’ section carries comprehensive listings of historic motoring and motorsport events, links to a vast range of car clubs and classic dealers, and a database of marques. www.classiccarsforsale.co.uk issues a regular e-newsletter, keeping its visitors up to date on the classic car scene, and hosts a lively online forum for enthusiasts to discuss all manner of things classic motoring-related.

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KATIE’S COLUMN

What Katie says What’s the point stating you’re pro-abortion says Katie – who wouldn’t be these days?

Choice words

many unplanned and unwanted babies were born into unprepared lives.

I don’t waste time claiming to be proabortion for the same reason that I don’t state I am pro women’s right to vote. Because the reason we have both those ’rights’ is that, this side of the 20th century, no one is stupid enough to argue we shouldn’t.

But mainly, I am not pro-abortion because, for all the feminist fights I have sought to pick, the pro-abortion battle does not even appear on my radar. Who fights for something so depressing?

If this looks like a pro-abortion column then I might as well warn you at the beginning that it’s not meant to be one. I don’t want to turn just anything into columns. And a column championing abortion was the last thing I ever meant to write.

Why? For a start, because stating you are ’pro-abortion’ always strikes me as as futile a declaration as stating you are pro-breathing.

I mean, hell, this is 2007, right? It’s obvious isn’t it? Who would be anti a woman’s right to choose?

Who could be short-sighted enough to have forgotten how bad things were for women, and their children as well, in the days when

Rap it up This is Zuby. Pretty isn’t he?

Ahem. Actually that’s not the only reason I’ve included him in my side column, he’s also a rather fine rapper.

A bit of an anomaly in the world of rap, Zuby’s an Oxford-educated student who knows his a cappella from his assonance and his nine bars from his nuances.

Meanwhile he manages to keep his lyrics tight, compelling and original, whether he’s writing rhymes about poignant politics or freestyling about student life.

“I don’t pretend that I’ve done or been through things that I haven’t,” says Zuby. “I try to express myself and make entertaining, positive music. God has blessed me and I want to be successful so that I can help the people who need it. That’s the dream that keeps me going.”

So much more than a pretty face…

See www.zubymusic.com or www.myspace.com/zubyuk

“Women enjoy abortions about as much as men enjoy vasectomies”

Image: Chris Ashfield

Women shouldn’t have to beg for their right to have abortion because – it may surprise you to learn – we don’t want them.

There are far better things I can think of doing with my day off.

While some women claim to have found their terminations no more intrusive than a cleansing colonic – and others are left dealing with the psychological damage for months, or even years, after – no woman (one imagines) would claim an abortion is a barrel of laughs.

Women enjoy abortions about as much as men enjoy vasectomies – and of course we have them for the same reasons. So why aren’t the pro-lifers campaigning outside those clinics?

Ironically, of course, women who have abortions do so because they are pro-life. But they are not naive, or selfish enough, to underestimate the amount of care it takes to bring a life into this world. Nor do they underestimate the damage that a child will wreak on their own lives (not to mention their bodies and careers).

Finally, of course anti-abortionists who criticise women always conveniently forget one thing – that all too often women’s ’choice’ has been prompted by some boy lurking behind the scenes.

So maybe if anyone should be writing pro-abortion columns, it should be them.

Comments, queries and general chitchat can be sent to: katie@thelatest.co.uk

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THE RHYME

Eminemmylou The UK’s first and only rap and spoken-word column.

This week featuring Gram Parsons Hippie Boy I was walking down the street the other day A sight came before my eyes It was a little hippie boy I must have been twice his size His appearence typified his strange breed Gaudy clothes long stringy hair hanging down I’d seen perhaps a thousand in my early trips to town As he walked on beside me on down the block I noticed no unpleasing smell He might have been on weed or even LSD But if he was I couldn’t tell So we walked together that way through this neighbourhood Finally he turned around to me And he said friend we’re a million miles apart But you know something we can enjoy the sunshine and the weather So why don’t we put our differences aside and just talk to each other You see this box beneath my arm to you it’s plain it has no charm But to someone dearest to my heart this box has played a tragic part This little one can’t tell you himself about his life and how he died But if anyone else could speak for him I guess I’m qualified This boy was in Chicago he didn’t know why he was there He was with his friends and family and he didn’t really care You might have been one of those who saw the struggle there On your television screen The tragic thing is so much else happened that no one else could have seen Stranger handed this boy a dollar to do a simple chore To carry a package to a nearby hotel And when he returned he’d get two more But when he came back he sort of lost his way walking thru the crowd One of them things you ask yourself, how the Lord allowed But when he was found he was like he is now, dreaming sweet and still And in his hand was a crumpled dollar bill Now you can take that dollar, get four cents on it compound it quarterly At any downtown bank So they can back some hot new tank or atom bomb Well what I’m going to tell you now, you can stay or you can leave You kind of listened to my story so far but just one more thing It’s the same for any hippie, bum or hillbilly out on the street Just remember this little boy and never carry more than you can eat Now could you help us sing this song, please There will be peace in the valley for him now we pray I will think of the little hippie boy that way Copyright © 1969 Irving Music Inc. (BMI)

Send rhymes and a pic to: eminemmylou@thelatest.co.uk

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EMOTIONS

Dani’s diary Dani contemplates her return to the world of work, and decides it could be the only remedy for her shoe addiction I have a job interview. Hurrah! I’m kind of excited, but not massively so.

But then, who ever is? Well, having an interview is a good excuse to wear those smart shoes I just had to buy. And getting a job will fund further unnecessary shoe purchases.

God I’m such a clichéd girl. I have about 100 pairs of shoes and I only ever wear about four pairs in rotation, but something makes me buy more! I just love shoes more than most things and I’m not ashamed to admit it. So I have a shoe addiction. And now a job interview.

It’s funny really, because when I had the breakdown last year and had to stop working, I didn’t think once about what job I’d go into when I got better, and it feels like as soon as I got better and could leave the house I was immediately asked by everyone: “When are you going to get a job?”

So I have a job interview, mainly because other people think I should and not because I want to. Occasionally I feel I want to but, in truth, I’m really enjoying having some time to myself. I worked weekends when I was at secondary school. I worked in between classes and at the weekends when I started college. I worked six days a week after dropping out of college. I worked five days a week in an office. I worked five days and five nights and I worked three days and four nights. And then I had a breakdown.

“I’m such a clichéd girl. I have about 100 pairs of shoes, but something makes me buy more” Now I am enjoying the fact that for the first time ever I don’t have to go to work and I don’t understand why people see that as such a problem. I don’t claim benefits, and I don’t really borrow money, I get a tiny pay cheque for writing this and I make it last as long as possible. If I need extra cash I can normally pick up a couple of days work somewhere.

Students get to have a year off – why can’t I have a ‘gap year’? So far all the time I’ve had off I’ve been panicking, so I would quite like to spend some more time healing.

Granted it would be nice to have a bit more money, but that’s the only real downside. But I suppose that’s the reason most people get jobs in the first place – to earn money. I don’t think anyone works in a call centre for the sheer enjoyment. But if you do – no hard feelings!

There are lots of things I want to do and nearly all of them involve having lots of money, so you have to work really, to do things that you like. No one wants to live to work – you want to work to live. But trying to sort that out can be pretty difficult, because no matter how hard you try most people seem to be ruled by their jobs: they are tired because they have been at work; they can’t go and do that because they have work in the morning; you must dress like this and think like that and talk like them. I must just be weird, but I just don’t like the idea. Perhaps I could start a brave new band of people who only do the things they want to! Or maybe not. So I’ll be going to work instead. Wish me luck.

12,000 students attend the University of Sussex.

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To advertise in either publication, phone the USSU marketing team on 01273 678151 or email ussu-marketing@sussex.ac.uk * Student Lifestyle Questionnaire 2002

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LATESTDIARY

latestdiary

Loop the loop At Above Audio on Monday 14 May, Brighton’s first outdoor festival for the best part of a decade was launched. Some of the UK’s hottest bands will be performing at the all-new Loop – a one-day music and digital art festival spread across four specially created performance areas in the heart of the city. It kicks off on 18 August in Victoria Gardens, Brighton. For more information, and to find out how to get hold of discounted admission tickets to a number of LoopLate venues, visit www.loopbrighton.com.

With Tim Richardson

Johnny (Transformer), Laura (Skint Records), Jason Clarke (Loop), Kat (Loop), Danny (Harmony) and Dan (DV8) breakdancing

MC Buzz Nina Horton, Kate Spencer and Kerri McLean Baba Brinkman (www.babasword.com) Dizraeli (Bad Science)

Phil Jackson and Mark Scarratt

Dan Duce (Brighton artist)

Hip hop won’t stop The official launch of the Brighton Hip Hop Festival (BHHF) took centre stage at the Sallis Benney Theatre at the University of Brighton on Saturday 19 May 2007. The festival, now in its fourth year, is the UK’s largest celebration of hip hop culture. At the launch there were live showcases from Dirty Diggers, English, Buzz and Dizraeli, and it went into the evening with live hip hop, B-boy battles, spoken word and film screenings. For more information on the upcoming BHHF, that runs from Friday 19 June to Saturday 14 July, visit www.bhhf.org.

If you have an event you would like featured please email editorial@thelatest.co.uk

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5/24/07

11:17 AM

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AROUNDTOWN

sponsored by

Celebcity with Jo Brooks

Every one’s a winner This Monday saw the return of one of the most glamorous nights in the Brighton events calendar: the Latest 7 Festival & Fringe Awards.

Now in its third year, the awards were set up to honour the very best of the Brighton Festival and Festival Fringe, and this year’s event certainly did not disappoint! With fantastic food, free-flowing drink and some truly show-stopping performances, the 2007 Latest 7 Festival & Fringe Awards truly were a night to remember.

But all this could not have been possible without the kind support of our sponsors, and we would like to take this opportunity to thank each and every one of them for helping to make the night a real success. Here’s to the Latest 7 Festival & Fringe Awards 2008!

Compass Bars Compass Bars are proud to support the arts in Brighton & Hove. With several locations in Brighton and the surrounding area, Compass Bars are the perfect place to enjoy a corporate lunch, traditional ales, relaxing afternoons and evening meals.

drakes “Imagine the home of your most treasured friend, spending an effortless weekend in the comfortable surroundings of someone who cares about you. Couple this with an unbeatable seafront location in the heart of Brighton, breathtaking design, the ultimate in personal service and you have drakes.” drakes… a hotel as individual as you are. www.drakesofbrighton.com

The Lanes Health & Beauty Situated on Market Street, The Lanes Health & Beauty offers the latest exclusive celebrity treatments right on your doorstep. Enjoy Madonna’s favourite facial and Victoria Beckham’s favourite UV-free tan delivered by experienced therapists in Brighton’s favourite boutique spa. www.thelaneshealthandbeauty.com

Donatello Donatello is a well-established family-run Italian restaurant situated in a prime position right in the heart of the historic Lanes. The menu contains an authentic range of excellent value pasta, pizza, meat and fish dishes, served by enthusiastic staff in relaxed surroundings. www.donatello.co.uk

Las Iguanas Las Iguanas has got Brighton sizzling with its South American menu, fearsome cachaça cocktails and contemporary interiors. Brazilian chef Fernando serves up a delicious array of authentic Latin dishes cooked fresh to order, while the Cachaça bar is perfect for lounging. Grab a Caipirinha, some tapas, and dream of Copacabana beach. www.iguanas.co.uk 10 latest 7

Juniper Take a real passion for good, uncomplicated food. Add to this the skill and expertise of a team of highly-trained chefs, and simmer gently in a bespoke industrial kitchen. Then just add a dash of innovation, a splash of good humour, and serve with the highest standard of enthusiasm.

This is Juniper, Brighton’s foremost catering service. www.junipercatering.com

Asahi Japan’s number one beer Asahi is available in venues such as Wagamama, Yo! Sushi, Pitcher & Piano, and some of the finest bars and clubs in the country. Asahi is also readily available at all leading supermarkets and off-licences. This premium brand is brewed and marketed under licence by Shepherd Neame. www.asahibeer.co.uk

JBPR JBPR is a Brighton-based national PR consultancy. Its clients cover the entire business spectrum, from national brands to regional projects like the new Royal Alexandra Children’s Hospital and the proposed Brighton International Arena. JBPR is proud to support Brighton & Hove’s thriving arts and media community. www.jb-pr.com

Leonardo Award-winning Leonardo Restaurant strives to produce food of the highest quality using only the best ingredients. Recognised as the best Italian eaterie in Brighton & Hove by many, Leonardo manages to serve mouthwatering dishes without breaking the bank. The service is warm and professional. This genuine Italian family-run business really hits the spot. www.leonardo-restaurant.com

Leaders Established in 1983, Leaders has become synonymous with the highest standards in the letting and management of rented properties. It offers clients all the benefits and security of one of the largest independent specialist letting agents in the UK but with the personal service and care you’d expect from a local letting agent. www.leaders.co.uk

Arscotts Arscotts Solicitors takes a modern approach to the legal profession and offers a whole range of different legal services, including residential and commercial conveyancing, wills and probate, personal injury, family law, mediation and landlord and tenant. With its two local offices the company is able to cover the whole of Sussex and it is proud to support Brighton & Hove in the 2007 Latest 7 Festival & Fringe Awards. www.arscotts.co.uk The Hannington Quarter The Hannington Quarter is Brighton’s newest shopping destination.

Formerly the Hanningtons department store, the area is now home to a range of boutiques, including high street favourites LK Bennett, Dune and Lombok, together with independent retailers Indigo Roses, Strawberry Bunny and Warrington Jewellers. It’s the place to go for something special.

To comment on any of these stories or send in any news stories email editorial@thelatest.co.uk

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COMPETITIONSXWORD

In it to win it

latestcrossword

solutions on page 28

Get your hands on these great giveaways!

Music Park 2007 – Tickets: The Eighties Here & Now

Stanmer Park will be the venue for Brighton’s new four-day music festival – Music Park – this June. Even if you missed last week’s chance to win tickets to the first event, then rest easy, as we have more tickets to give away. This week, we are offering two pairs of tickets for the The Eighties Here & Now night, taking place on Friday 22 June. Following Ronan Keating’s appearance on the Thursday, the 80s show is a musical celebration with ABC and Kim Wilde live on stage.

They will be joined by Howard Jones, Go West, Limahl, Altered Images and Paul Young. Music Park is organised in support of the Mayor’s local charities Martlets Hospice and Whoopsadaisy. See www.themusicpark.co.uk for more information on the events over the four days. Keep checking Latest 7 for tickets to the Saturday and Sunday night events, as the lovely people behind Music Park are giving away a pair of tickets for each night to Latest 7 readers.

To stand a chance of winning tickets to Music Park – The Eighties Here & Now on Friday 22 June, answer this question: Which glamorous bombshell had success on both sides of the Atlantic with ‘Kids In America’? See below for entry details.

Heavy Water – DVD

Cryptic 94

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Quick 94

Heavy Water – A Film For Chernobyl is a new release from Seventh Art Productions. Based on an award-winning booklength poem, the film tells of the events that took place on 26 April 1986. As May Day celebrations began, an enormous radioactive cloud hung over Northern Ukraine and neighbouring Belarus. Kept secret from the rest of the world, in just three days an area the size of England was contaminated with radioactive dust. Here, David Bickerstaff and Phil Grabsky tell the story of the firefighters, the soldiers and the families who dealt with the disaster. Extraordinary filmmaking. To be in with a chance of winning one of two copies on DVD, answer the following question: Who penned the award-winning poem Heavy Water? See below for entry details.

ACROSS

DOWN

ACROSS

1 & 9 An evening of ceramics?

(5,2,3,5) 8 Needing fluid, a number take in the last of the drinks (7) 9 See 1 across 10 Stranger introduces editor to us (8) 11 Shorten tent with sword (4) 13 Put everything into evil song (6) 15 Germans adopt very French accent (6) 17 Take part in physical exercise like an idiot (4) 18 I go up with Lee for the conclusion (8) 21 Workers group creates vegetable with new head (5) 22 Noted element of harem in enterprising country (7) 23 Little man consumes roast concoction prepared for epicure (10)

2 I do it haphazardly as an imbecile (5) 3 Shop around with foreigner (not Ian) from health centre (8) 4 Heartless young beasts go out for a bit of air (6) 5 Goodbye to a pair of part-timers (2-2) 6 Surpass cyclist equipment in two ways (7) 7 Mess about in compliance with valuation (10) 8 Translate from Urdu: “To rob a poet” (10) 12 Put creature in stable number one backwards (7) 14 Deformed foot appears in fish and bird (7) 16 Make a soft fruit become visible (6) 19 After violent wind, the moon starts to shine (5) 20 The burden is nothing to students (4)

1 Food (10) 8 Indecent (7) 9 Covered with powder (5) 10 State of perfection (8) 11 Young horse (4) 13 Lay on (6) 15 Zig-zag race (6) 17 Man (4) 18 Mineral (8) 21 Select (5) 22 Three-legged stands (7) 23 Amiability (10).

CSI: 6.13–6.24 – DVD CSI: series 6, part 2 is released on DVD on 4 June by Momentum Pictures (www.behindthetape.co.uk). One of the most successful television shows on global screens, join Vegas’ finest as they scrutinise and solve a selection of confounding crime scenes from gang shootings to pseudo-Nazi torture chambers. Quentin Tarantino was nominated for a directing Emmy® Award for the Series 5 finale, and is a famous fan of the franchise. Since the series launched over seven years ago, the number of students studying forensic science at colleges and universities around the world has soared. The second installment of Season 6 on DVD features a host of extras and all the drama from the closing episodes of the series. To be in with a chance of winning one of two copies, tell us: What year did the first ever episode of CSI first air in the US? Entrants must be aged 15 or over. See below for entry details.

The Very Best Of Bucks Fizz – CD/DVD Sony BMG have released a fantastic pop CD/DVD pack featuring the UK’s 1981 Eurovision Song Contest entrants (and winners!) Bucks Fizz. Far from disappearing into the Eurovision has-been pile, Bucks Fizz went on to release a string of hits throughout the 1980s. This all-new CD contains 18 classic tracks with bonus videos on the DVD. To be in with a chance of winning one of three copies, tell us: What song did Bucks Fizz sing in the 1981 Eurovision Song Contest? See below for entry details.

DOWN 2 Squander (5) 3 Aid to sight (8) 4 Exchange of air (6) 5 Finishes (4) 6 Plunder (7) 7 Without organic structure (10) 8 Begun (10) 12 Dog (8) 14 Stuffing (7) 16 Artist’s material (6) 19 Religious paintings (5) 20 Vegetable (4).

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012_LS323_cheeky/stars

5/23/07

5:39 PM

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ONLY JOKING!

Bare cheek Hove factually Brian Mitchell and Joseph Nixon’s thoroughly scurrilous Brighton column

In & Out IN • King Rollo • Saying, “Super smashing great,” like Jim Bowen • Dame Anna Neagle • Catching your mum and dad at it • Um Bongo

OUT • Paulus The Woodgnome • Gonzo porn • Doing that Smash Hits thing where you refer to yourself as (for example), “Lord Martin of Johnson” • Saying, “Lorra lorra laughs”

Stick your oar in!

An occasional series in which we ask the opinion of both celebrities and lowly proles on a local issue.

This week – what did you think of the 2007 Brighton Festival?

LOCAL COUNCILLOR MIKE GUULEY “I’m very happy to say that the festival has proved yet again an invaluable contribution to my pocket – I mean the cultural wellbeing of the bribes – money – town. I mean town. I look forward to next year’s, when I intend to buy a Mercedes.”

ADAM TOSSER, FALMER “Did you see that Udderbelly? An upside down purple cow?! What – were they on drugs or something?

Eh? Eh? I bet they were on drugs.

Or something. An upside down cow. Wooooo!”

LOCAL COLUMNIST BARRY KIDDING “When this old warhorse was knee high to a grasshopper, the festival was host to such august names as Sir John Barbirolli, Michael Redgrave and the ever-graceful Margot Fontayne. These days it seems to be overrun with filth-mouthed, so-called ‘comedians’, burlesque nights, plays about gay sex, and ladyboys. Call me old-fashioned if you will, but I think they should all be rounded up and slowly garroted.”

NICK CAVE “There’s a festival on? Strewth!

I thought there was a lot of people about”

More facts you probably didn’t know about fantabulous Hove...

1) In German musical nomenclature, ‘Hove’ stands for the first four notes of the theme tune to Merry Christmas Mr Lawrence.

2) Hove is the second largest manufacturer of chocolate willies in the universe, the first being Gallifrey .

3) The Johnny Cash lyric ‘I shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die’, was originally ‘I talked to a man in Aldrington about the chances of the SDP breaking the two-party system’, but was changed after a genie came to the legendary country singer in a dream and told him it was a rubbish lyric and would substantially harm his career.

4) One in every three Hove residents is a Mexican bandit.

5) A recent poll, asking people to name their favourite thing about Hove, revealed that ten per cent cited the vibrant nightlife, eight per cent opted for its ethnic diversity, eleven per cent favoured its heady sensuality and barely repressed erotic charge, while the rest went for the new Tesco on Church Road.

Betty Ramsbottom

Barry Kidding

MRS BETTY RAMSBOTTOM (79), PATCHAM “Eeee. I do love those Open House trails. I so enjoy having a bit of a nose round, seeing what other people have got, running my fingers along their picture rails to see how clean they are, stealing their identities and messing their duvets.

Can’t stick the art though – it’s crap.”

happy to say, it’s brimming over with filth-mouthed comedians, burlesque nights, plays about gay sex, and ladyboys. They all make Brighton and Hove the vibrant, diverse city we all know and love.”

LOCAL COLUMNIST BARRY KIDDING “When this old warhorse was knee-high to a grasshopper, the festival was host to such boring old fuddy-duddies as Sir John Barbirolli, Michael Redgrave, and the evertedious Margot Fontayne. They were duller than a wet weekend in Sidcup playing cribbage with your maiden aunt. These days, I’m

SOPHIE CLAIRE, BRIGHTON “I for one was very sad to see that the Gardner Arts Centre has closed down. As I used to run it.”

FRED MARRIOTT (97), HANOVER “Would these street-theatre performers like it if I started walking my dog, buying groceries, crossing the road, chatting to friends I happened to bump into and parking my car at their venues? I bet they f*****g wouldn’t, the *****.”

STARS

Astral Angi ★ Finding truth in the stars★

Buy the CD Bardsley’s, country music with c-hip s-hop beats at Bardsley’s and Borders NOW!

BARDSLEY’S UPLIFTING FISH N CHIPS

22/23/23A BAKER ST, BRIGHTON BN1 4JN

01273 681256

ARIES (MAR 21–APR 20)

CANCER (JUNE 22–JULY 22)

LIBRA (SEP 23–OCT 22)

CAPRICORN (DEC 21–JAN 19)

This week skip, don’t walk! Putting a spring in your step will show people just how interesting you can be, leading the way to making new friends.

Everything is falling into place for you this week. A trip to Bardsley’s will be the perfect finishing touch, making everything else go right.

It’s the wrong time, wrong place and wrong weather to carry out those plans with your loved one. Instead, do something spontaneous this week.

Don’t wait to enjoy life. Take the plunge and go for it (Bardsley’s is a good place to start). Your daring will be rewarded.

TAURUS (APR 21–MAY 21)

LEO (JULY 23–AUG 22)

SCORPIO (OCT 23–NOV 21)

AQUARIUS (JAN 20–FEB 19)

You’re feeling the need to be needed this week. Maybe you need to get yourself down to Bardsley’s and meet new people. Failing that meet some new cod and chips.

Try sitting with your back to the world this week. If you can’t see them, they can’t see you and in your current state of mind that’s probably quite a good thing!

Be bold! The stars are in your favour this week so it’s time to take control and do exactly what you want. The world is at your feet. Use this as a springboard for world domination – or some chips.

It seems you can’t put a foot wrong this week. Everything keeps getting better and better! Remember, nothing lasts forever so make the most of it while you can.

GEMINI (MAY 22–JUNE 21)

VIRGO (AUG 23–SEP 22)

SAGITTARIUS (NOV 22–DEC 20)

PISCES (FEB 20–MAR 20)

Things are all getting a bit much for you at the moment. Try to relax and go with the flow for a while. Who knows where you’ll end up. Possibly at Bardsley’s for some cracking nosh.

Honesty is the best policy this week Virgo, and you would do well to bear that in mind. However, all is not lost if you venture into Bardsley’s. Their chips are the best – honest!

Watch the stars this week and follow your zodiacal destiny. Try to avoid being led astray by duty or responsibility. Although being led to Bardsley’s would be advantageous.

Everything is getting out of control. It’s time to slow down and look around you. You really need to rediscover the real you. You’ll probably find yourself at Bardsley’s.

12 latest 7

To talk to Astral Angi please email angi@thelatest.co.uk

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5/24/07

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STAND-UP COMEDY

A laughing matter Victoria Nangle lets us in on a comedian’s secret – ‘the book’

“If a comedian goes on stage without having learned their set, it’s like paying for a bus ticket and having to sit on the roof. Or not getting ketchup with your chips” In case you’re worried, Bob did get his book back in the end safe and sound. But if you see comics trying out new material, maybe after the main show has finished, like Reginald D Hunter and Sarah Millican did when they last passed through the Komedia, that should be the only time you get to see a professional comic’s book. In fact, Reg was so used to going on stage without his book that he forgot it when he came back out and had to shout for someone to fetch it for him. Oh the power in those pages. And that is the only time you’ll see it, because if a comic hasn’t learned their set before they set foot on that stage, and you’re paying to see them, it’s a bit of a chizz really. It’s like not putting your new jumper in a bag when you leave the shop – unless you’re wearing it of course. Or being denied ketchup for your chips. Or paying for a bus ticket and having to sit on the roof. It’s just not what you bargained for and it’s not the full deal. But if you do get to see the book – in an appropriate environment – appreciate the diamonds in the rough.

☺

Stand-up wisdom 43: “I used to sell furniture for a living.

The trouble was, it was my own.” Les Dawson

image

Marc the vet The New Paul O’Grady Show’s Marc Abraham marvels at the world under the sea Picture: Roger Young

Every comic has a book. I’m not talking about something to read on the long train journeys to and from gigs – although sometimes it can be used for that – I’m talking about a jotter for notes, amusements, high jinx and downright gags. Each book is that comedian’s most precious possession. Promise.

A comedian will often start their book when they first start pondering the idea of doing stand-up, so these books are like diaries. But funny ones. Every gag that they thought sounded quite good in their head but may have fallen flat on punters’ ears and then been dismissed in disgrace, and every mulling that got whittled into a chuckle and then into a fully fledged hilarious rant comes from these pages. So the biggest way to terrify any comic is to make them think they’ve lost their book. It’s only a funny thing to do until they find out and punch you. Or disintegrate into a puddle of shaking tears. Depending on the comic’s stage persona.

About 10 years ago legendary workhorse comic Bob Monkhouse had his book stolen. Tailspin alert immediately and huge amounts of money offered as a reward for its safe return. Not only had he lost all of his gags he’d so carefully tailored but he’d lost all of the gags he might allegedly have acquired from professional gag writers. There’s money in them thar rib-ticklers and if you’ve forked out for a doozie of a chuckler and know that you’re the only one with rights on it, it might make you a tad fretful if your safety deposit box on a page goes missing. Bit of a whoops all right.

PETS

I’d ask my friends to come and see An octopus’s garden with me I’d like to be under the sea In an octopus’s garden in the shade.

The Beatles – Octopus’s Garden, 1969 Did you know that Ringo Starr penned those lyrics after learning how octopuses travel along the sea bed picking up stones and shiny objects with which to build gardens?

It was one of the happiest things he had ever heard. But have you ever Lesser Octopus wondered what octopuses really keep in their garden?

Well, this Saturday, you’ll never have a better chance to find out, as what lives both under the sea and what’s hidden in the shade will be on show for all to enjoy and touch.

“Have you ever wondered what octopuses really keep in their garden? This Saturday, you can find out” For us thousands of nature lovers lucky enough to live in Sussex, we all share a fascination, great respect and even an obsession for, the sea. From phenomenal year-round hypnotic sunsets to those crazy winter storms, daily mackerel fishing boats or even just simple walks on the beach – there really is so much to captivate and entrance our sensitive souls.

So if what lives and breathes in and on our seas also fascinates you, your kids, or even your mother-in-law, then this Saturday’s Adur World Oceans Day is a definite date for your diary.

Personally, I love this event and wouldn’t miss it for the world – it’s a unique opportunity to introduce children to the mysterious undersea and seashore world. There are not only live exhibits of hardy marine creatures such as lobsters, crabs and fish, but also a variety of exhibits on the ocean environment, including strandline touch tables, sea anemones, mermaid’s purses and even prawns.

Shoreham-by-Sea has a long history of sea-faring and fishing, so why not celebrate this tradition and local connections with the sea, as well as promoting the protection of the marine environment.

Organised by the British Marine Life Study Society with Adur and West Sussex councils, the Priority Emergency Treatment Service (PETS) is once again proud to support this event – and I’ll be helping out with the lobsters and crabs! Bring the whole family and allow at least a couple of hours to participate in the activities. Refreshments will be available on the Green and nearby cafés and shops. See you there!

Adur World Oceans Day, Saturday 2 June, 10am–4pm, Coronation Green, Shoreham-by-Sea, West Sussex, free admission. For more information, see the British Marine Life Study Society website at www.glaucus.org.uk

Any comments for Marc email editorial@thelatest.co.uk

Individual Images for Individual People

catcher T i m R i c h a r d s o n Freelance Photographer 01273 881832 07977 140002 www.image-catcher.co.uk tim.richardson@image-catcher.co.uk 32a Carlisle Road, Hove, East Sussex BN3 4FS latest 7 13

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23/5/07

3:53 pm

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FASHION&FOOD

Rich pickings

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Harriet Hoff shows how to glam it up on a budget Feeling a bit broke? Credit card hiding in the deepest pocket of your purse? Does your bank manager not like the Prada shoes as much as you do? Well don’t fret – just because the kitty is low doesn’t mean you need to stop looking good. Here’s how to look a million dollars, even if your budget is just £25.

1 Accessories are a great way to make you feel special and will transform any old outfit. Why not try a bit of fake bling? Ring, £12, Accessorize 2 Add a bit of sparkle around your neck to light up your smile! Sparkle necklace, £10, Accessorize 3 A simple summer dress will look great with a tan, a pair of flip flops or some skinny jeans if the weather turns.

Strapless dress, £24.99, River Island 4 Supermarkets are a great place to get affordable fashion, and on the fashion stakes they are pretty damn hot right now. Cherokee white ruffle blouse, £15, and denim roll-up shorts, £10, both Tesco 5 Give your bod and your boy a treat – buy some new undies! Floozie by Frost French bra, £14, and hipsters, £6, both Debenhams 6 Add some saucy hot pink heels and there will be smiles all round! Pink heels, £25, from Dorothy Perkins 7 Cover up in style and shine through when the rain clouds open in this silver metallic colour coat from our favourite bargain store. Coat, £20, Primark Now go keep that bank manager at bay!

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Majic Majid Andrew Kay talks to Majid Bensliman about The Blue Man’s new premises Majid is Tuareg, descended from a desert tribe and raised in Algeria.

He has been in the UK for the last 16 years and first came here when he was playing professional international football as part of the Algerian team. ‘‘I had played in France and there was a chance of playing for an English team but it never happened. It was then that I decided it was time to realise my childhood dream and open a restaurant called The Blue Man. It was an idea I first had when I was only 14, even the name.’’

As the youngest in a family of 13, Majid spent a great deal of his childhood in the kitchen helping his mother and grandmother with cooking and chores. ‘‘Food became my language and it has remained with me. At The Blue Man it is me in the kitchen cooking those dishes from my childhood and using many of my grandmother’s recipes. My mother comes over regularly to help with the menus and recipes for the restaurant. Back home she is Mrs Food – if there is a wedding and my mother is not cooking then it’s not a very special wedding.’’

Majid first opened in Edward Street six years ago with his partner Georgi. ‘‘We had only 12 chairs and no menu, I would simply cook what was in the kitchen and tell the customers what was available each day.

We lived upstairs and my daughter grew up there. We used to have no licence so we were BYO but in our new premises we can sell drinks.

Even so I would like to give my customers great value so our house wines are £9.50 and from North Africa.’’

The premises in the centre of town are warm and welcoming, the décor is traditional with rich hangings, coloured lanterns and low leather seating. Already Majid is making it his own, a new carved front door, a rail to be installed outside for drinking fresh mint tea… Regulars love the new venue but new people are discovering the delights of Majid’s North African magic.

The Blue Man North African Restaurant, 11 Little East Street, Brighton. Call 01273 325529 14 latest 7

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5/24/07

5:21 PM

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GRADUATE SHOW

The Burt Brill & Cardens’ Graduate Show 2007 University of Brighton, Grand Parade Saturday 2 – Thursday 7 June Will Thorburn

Eclectic collections

Sally Cresswell

Over 500 students from the University of Brighton will be showcasing their work from 2-7 June at the acclaimed Burt Brill and Cardens’ Graduate Show 2007.

An annual highlight of the arts calendar for the south, the university’s renowned Faculty of Arts and Architecture is transformed into a massive gallery displaying work in a staggering range of medias and subject areas from 25 courses.

Attracting over 15,000 visitors each year, the graduate show is accompanied by a bumper programme of activities in the university garden, including the much talked about Graduate Fashion Show on Saturday 2 June (tickets are required) and a Family Day with the return of the hugely popular Big Knit where novices and professionals come together with their knitting needles on Sunday 3 June. There is also the Charity Fashion Show by first and second year students on Tuesday 5 June and live music performances at lunchtimes.

The university prides itself on producing some of the UK’s most talented artists and designers.

Past graduates include legendary Biba designer Barbara Hulanicki and Turner Prize-winners Keith Tyson and Rachel Whiteread.

Fashion graduate Julien Macdonald was voted British Designer of the Year 2001 and Gresham Blake has become modish tailor to style-conscious stars and listed in Time Out as one of Brighton’s new wave of entrepreneurs. Keren Craig has also had outstanding success as one half of fashion duo Marchesa, the British couture label and must-have brand among Hollywood celebrities.

This is an ideal opportunity to discover the next generation of budding artists; you can explore exhibits, commission artwork or build an art collection from students before they become stars. latest 7 15

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GRADUATE SHOW Tamara Elliott

Alexandra Geldenhuys

Nikki Fishpool

Jill Robertson

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GRADUATE SHOW

Designers of the future…

Katharine Beech

Rebecca Friell

Those exhibiting their work this year include critical and fine art practice students Will Thorburn, with an explicit and edgy take on the fusion of art and science, and Sally Cresswell, whose exhibition was inspired by her community work at Moulsecoomb allotments.

Fashion and textiles student Tamara Elliott, who has just secured a job in New York with American Eagle, will be showcasing her collection alongside Jill Robertson’s asymmetric designs. A vibrant collection will be showcased by Nikki Fishpool who completed a successful placement with Marks & Spencer.

Knitwear student Alexandra Geldenhuys has used recycled and organic materials to produce her collection, not only to reduce her impact on the environment but to demonstrate the potential use of these resources.

Wood-carved fashion accessories by Katharine Beech from the ever-popular wood, metal, ceramics and plastics course add yet another dimension to this exhibition of fresh talent. On graduating she intends to set up a studio in Brighton to continue her designs.

Inspirational new trends in building design will be unveiled by the School of Architecture, including a human-powered walking wheel by architecture student Konstantinos Chalaris.

This design won a prize from the Royal Society of Arts.

Graphic designer Alex Bec has combined his time at university with starting a publication and company by the same name – If You Could. His project entitled ‘The Eye is Blind if the Mind is Absent’ uses photography to trick the eye of the viewer.

For more information about studying at the university or attending the shows go to www.brighton.ac.uk latest 7 17

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5/24/07

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GRADUATE SHOW

People’s Art Award Burt Brill and Cardens’ David Edwards proudly reintroduces the University of Brighton Graduate Show’s prize – the People’s Art Award sponsored by Latest Homes and Juice 107.2. Back by popular demand for the second year running, the prize will be awarded to a successful graduate from the university’s Faculty of Arts and Architecture.

David heads one of Brighton’s most reputable and long-standing firms of solicitors, Burt Brill and Cardens, which has been sponsoring the University of Brighton degree shows for the past 12 years. The firm’s support has enabled it to become one of the main highlights in the city’s cultural calendar, attracting over 15,000 visitors over five days every June.

David’s enthusiastic support has ensured that every graduating artist and designer is given the invaluable opportunity to showcase their talent. Indeed without Burt Brill and Cardens’ long-standing loyalty, the massive public exhibition of work could not exist.

David acknowledges his company’s integral role: “It’s so important to nurture artistic talent, especially in a world where creative expression can be eclipsed by monetary value. When I visit the degree shows, I am consistently impressed by the variety and quality of work, in particular the passionate ideas and thought processes that drive the work.”

Burt Brill and Cardens’ commitment to raising the profile of significant students’ achievements is demonstrated by its investment in important awards, including the People’s Art Award, which is backed by Latest Homes and Juice 107.2. The People’s Art Award will invite the general public to vote for their favourite graduate’s work.

“The People’s Art Award is a great opportunity for every visitor to say which piece they like – which may be quite different to work selected from the academic staff at the university,” David explains.

“I think people will have a pretty good view of what is a great piece of art or design; indeed, the collective wisdom has a great deal going for it! I’m really looking forward to seeing what people think.”

You can take part in the Burt Brill and Cardens’ People’s Art Award by filling in a voting card available at the university reception on Grand Parade. The award will be presented to the winning student on Thursday 7 June and an interview will be broadcast on Juice 107.2. You can also read about the winner and see a portfolio of their work in Latest Homes.

Programme of events Burt Brill & Cardens’ Graduate Show 2007, University of Brighton, Grand Parade Sat 2-Thu 7 June; Sat 12-6pm; Sun 12-6pm; Mon/Tue/Wed 10am-8pm; Thu 10am-4pm, free.

Fashion Show: Sat 2 June, doors open 8:30pm, 9pm start, tickets £10.

Charity Fashion Show: Tue 5 June, doors open 8pm, 8.30pm start, tickets £7. This show is in aid of Breast Cancer and the Kanji Project.

Please contact the University of Brighton for all tickets: 01273 644099.

18 latest 7

Konstantinos Chalaris

Alex Bec

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5/24/07

4:47 PM

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FASHION

Wedding belles Creating your special day just got easier, thanks to the Bridal Open Day at Simultane Brighton fashion house Simultane is holding a Bridal Open Day on Sunday 10 June to showcase some of Brighton’s best bridal companies alongside the complete Sarah Arnett Bride collection.

Simultane is home to Brighton designer Sarah Arnett, who regularly shows in Paris and Milan and whose ready-to-wear collection now sells in 80 stores across 20 countries worldwide.

The Open Day is an opportunity to meet Sarah and her team and to view some of her latest bridal creations. With dresses starting from £1,000 and a made-to-order and bespoke service, visitors can also look behind the scenes in Sarah’s studio and workshop in order to see how a dress is made.

There will be lots of goodies, cakes and cocktails on the day, which runs from 11am to 4pm.

Simultane, 52 Ship Street, Brighton BN1 1AF. Call 01273 777535 or see www.saraharnett.co.uk There will also be a chance to see some of Brighton’s best bridal suppliers, including: • Due South – the award-winning beachside restaurant, which ensures that 80 per cent of its food is sourced within 20 miles of Brighton and which is the only venue on the beach with a licence to hold weddings and civil partnership ceremonies.

• Baroque Jewellery – showcasing the finest in designer jewellery, created in-house by four master goldsmiths and featuring influential designers such as Vivienne Westwood and Stephen Webster.

• Gunns – the gorgeous florists who specialise in creating beautiful and individual bridal designs for each occasion.

• Ed Hepburne-Scott Photography – Ed is an award-winning photographer who has worked with magazines such as Vogue, i-D and The Face.

• Trevor Sorbie – the award-winning hairdressers which was recently voted Creative Team of the Year at the British Hairdressing Awards.

• Anthea’s Perfect Cakes – beautifully individual and bespoke to each wedding, displayed on delightful vintage cake stands and recently featured in You and Your Wedding.

• Nails by Buff – offer a calming and sensual manicure prior to your big day so that you can relax and know that your hands and nails are in tip-top condition.

• Make-up by Janeen Witherspoon at Square Roots – Janeen has worked internationally for US Vogue, Elle and

Harper’s and accentuates each bride’s individuality, offering a truly personal service.

• Lavender Room lifestyle boutique – offers unique wedding accessories, including stunning lingerie collections, boutique shoes and exquisite evening purses.

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020_LS323_health /listings

5/24/07

4:37 PM

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HEALTH

See more health tips at wavemagazine.co.uk

Golden brown

Health & fitness

Centre. 07986 850029.

9.45–11.15am, £6 Hip Hop/R’n’B Dance Class Peacehaven Leisure Centre.

8pm drop in, £4.30

Zara Friend leaves it to the professionals at Beauty Works and gets a perfect pre-holiday St Tropez tan

TUESDAY 29

FRIDAY 1

A pre-holiday checklist might contain the following: new swimwear, sun hat, flip-flops and a St Tropez spray tan. As more of us opt for a pre-holiday tan, selftanning product sales have soared, and it seems we really are spoilt for choice. However, with the good inevitably comes some bad, whether it’s a streaky tan, the not so attractive Tango orange look or the products that wear off on your light-coloured clothes.

It’s a minefield out there, and for an easy and professional option celebrities swear by, the St Tropez air spray tan is the only way to fake it.

I was invited along to Beauty Works in Portslade to try out the latest in self-tanning innovation.

Before tanning Beauty Works prepare clients with some advice before going along. Top of the list was to exfoliate the night before, preparing the skin for the tan application, paying special attention to the elbows, knees and feet.

You are also told not to shave or wax on the day of the treatment and to avoid wearing make-up and perfume, which may affect the tanning. On the day, wear dark, loose-fitting clothing. For the actual tanning, paper panties are provided or you can take along your own swimwear. The St Tropez air spray tan is UV-free, meaning it’s completely safe. Some clients choose to have one done every few weeks for a natural tan all year round. A treatment can make a great gift or it can just be done for you before you step out in your new beachwear. Male and females both go for the air spray tan, as the application is easier and applied more evenly than bottled lotions.

The St Tropez experience Greeted by the experienced St Tropez-trained team in the relaxing surroundings at Beauty Works, a gown is provided while the tanning booth is prepared. Hair is wrapped in a turbietowel, leaving the face and ears exposed for tanning. Stepping into the booth, the tanning liquid is prepared in a bottle ready to airspray on. A member of the Beauty Works team applies the spray tan with the air brush, starting with the face. The spray is quite cold but it’s not an uncomfortable experience in the slightest. It’s an easy application that covers the entire body, paying careful attention to the underarms, hands and feet to ensure an even tan all over. After a once-over, a second application is made immediately to ensure no areas have been missed. The tanning takes just 10 minutes, and the air spray gives a perfect, streak-free finish that forms a natural golden brown tan.

Aftercare Right away, the skin takes on a healthy bronzed glow. The tan develops fully in four to eight hours, but you are dressed just minutes after the application. It’s a truly stress-free pampering experience that was so simple. Forget DIY lotions and opt for a lasting natural tan care of a professional team. St Tropez offers a great aftercare set too, with a special moisturiser to maintain the tan, an exfoliating body polish to ensure it fades evenly and a bottle of self-tanning lotion to use between treatments.

Special reader offer at Beauty Works Experience the St Tropez air spray tan firsthand at Beauty Works, Portslade. Beauty Works are offering 25 per cent off spray tans (usually £35) until 16 June and a further opportunity to win a free tan when you pick up a scratch card in the salon.The first 15 people who book an appointment mentioning this article in Latest 7 will receive the St Tropez aftercare set (rrp £15) for free. Contact Beauty Works for more details and start summer with a natural golden tan.

Beauty Works, 2 Burlington Parade, Burlington Gardens, Portslade. Call 01273 420198 or see www.beautyworks.net 20 latest 7

Abs Blast With Martin.

Fitforall, 6pm, £3 Astanga Yoga Brighton Buddhist Centre, 12.45–2pm, & 6–7.30pm, £6/4 BE Pilates Mat Class Rehab/basic classes. 01273 273074 for info.

Back2Balance. 5.45–6.45pm, & 7–8pm, £45 for six weeks Boxing Class Drop-in. Cheetahs Boxing Gym. 7.30–9pm, £4 (also every Fri 7–8pm, Sat 12–1.30pm and Mon 6–7pm, all £4) Children’s Kung Fu Ages 7–11. Cornerstone Community Centre. 4–5pm, £4 Flamenco Dance Lower/Int. The Dance Station.

8.15–9.15pm, £8.50 Flamenco Dance Technique Contact Ana for more info. The Dance Station. 7–8.15pm, £8.50 Hypnotherapy Free consultations with Peter J Hassell: smoking, anxiety & other issues. 07884 213 599 Iyengar Yoga Brighton Buddhist Centre, 1–2.15pm,. £6/4 Kundilini Yoga Holistic Health Clinic, 6.30 –8pm, £6 drop-in, £20 for 4.

Low Impact Aerobics Dean’s Leisure Centre. 8–9pm, £4 Tuesdays 7-9.30pm.

Lunchtime Oasis Meditation Brighton Buddhist Centre, 1.15–1.45pm, £3/2.

Mindfulness-based Life Change Info: Rory 07739 556438. Bodhi Garden, 7–9.30pm, £10.

WEDNESDAY 30 Komaja Love Meditation Meditation, spiritual singing and talks at Komaja Centre, call Cela for info, 7.30–9.30pm.

Morning Soto Zen Meditation Info: Jay & Heather 01273 682974. Bodhi Garden. 7.30–8.30am, Suggested donation: £5.

Open Meditation Evening Info: Richard 07796 331167.

Bodhi Garden, 7.30–9pm, suggested donation: £5.

Shaolin Tai Qi – Rou Quan St Mary Magdalen Centre, also same time Monday.

7.15pm–8.15pm, £8, (£25 for all four classes at the centre) Sivananda Yoga Beg/int.

Revitalise. Call Helen 07722 046865. 9.30–10.45am Yoga Drop-in with Jackie Coulson. Wendy Whatling School of Dance.

9.15–10.45am (also Thu 7.45–8.45pm) Yummymummys Fitforall, 10.30am, £4 Yoga With Joanne. Coral Health/ Fitness. 1.30pm, £3.50 Yoga (Scaravelli inspired) The Acupuncture Clinic, 7.30–9pm, £8 drop-in/£35 for five classes

THURSDAY 31 BE Pilates Semi-Private Matwork Classes Carla for info: 01273 273 074. BE Pilates Studio, Westdene, 10.15am and 6.30pm, (also same time Mondays) £75 for six weeks.

Body Control Pilates Mixed & advanced classes. Holistic Health Centre, 8–9.15pm, £60 for six weeks Brighton Jamyang Group Info: Ian 07758 150722. Bodhi Garden, 7.30–9.30pm, suggested donation: £5.

Hatha Fusion Yoga The Acupuncture Clinic, 9.30–10.30am, £6 Hatha Yoga Patcham Comm

Tai Chi Peacehaven Leisure Centre. 7.30pm drop in, £4.30 Vajrasati Yoga Brighton Buddhist Centre, 6–7.30pm, £6/4 ViniYoga The Acupuncture Clinic, 9.30–10.30am, £7 dropin/£35 for six Yoga And Meditation Brighton Buddhist Centre, 10–11.30am, £6/£4 Yogalates Coral Health & Fitness, 6.30pm, £3.50

SATURDAY 2 BE Pilates Mat Class Beg/Improvers. 01273 273074 for info. Coast Chiropractic.

10–11am & 11am–12pm, £45 for six weeks Coretastic! With James.

Fitforall, 10am, £4 Children’s Ki & Aikido For ages 4–7. Brighton Ki Centre, call Bob for info: 01273 323315. 9–9.45am, £2.50 Dynamic Flow Yoga With Tara and Niki. The Acupuncture Clinic, 11.15am–12.45pm, £8 Hatha Yoga (Scaravelli) 90-minute class. Coral Health and Fitness.12pm, £4.50 Indoor Cycling Coral Health & Fitness, 9am & 10.15am £3.50

SUNDAY 3 Adult Tap Wendy Whatling.

Beg: 7–8pm and intermediate 8–9pm Aquarobics King Alfred.

10.30am–11.15am, £4.10 Hangover Spin Fitforall, 10am, £4 Legs, Bums and Tums Coral Health & Fitness, 10.15am, £3.50 Vajrasati Yoga Drop-in with Charlotte, all levels.

Alexandra Dance Academy, 11am–12.30pm, £6/£5 Women’s Yoga The Acupuncture Clinic, 11am–12.15pm, £40 for six

MONDAY 4 Chen Tai Chi All levels, Davigdor School. 6–7pm, £7.

Info: 07799 097776 Ki & Aikido Four-week intro class starts today, Brighton Ki Centre, call Barry 07854389606 for details, 7–9pm, £25 Legs, Bums And Tums Deans Leisure Centre. £4, 5.30–6.30pm and 6.30–7.30pm Morning Meditation Info: Alan 07966 046524. Bodhi Garden, 7.30–8.30am Post/Ante Natal Pilates Babies welcome. The Acupuncture Clinic. Pre-book w/ penny on 07904 472605, 12.30–1.30pm, £60 for 6 wks Scaravelli Inspired Yoga With Peta Trousdell at Unit 4.

Call 01273 846722 for more info. 10–11.30am Scaravelli Yoga The Acupuncture Clinic, 9.30–11am, £7 Shaolin Kung Fu All levels, Davigdor School. 7–8pm, £7 Tai Chi Chuan Class More info: 07900 193230. All Saints Church Hall, 8pm, £5 Unguided Meditation Info: Alan 07966 046524.

Bodhi Garden, 6–7pm, Suggested donation: £5.

Vajrasati Yoga All levels, Brighton Buddhist Centre, 1–2.15pm, £6/4 Women's Yoga (Scaravelli) The Acupuncture Clinic.

6.30–8pm, £9 drop-in,£32 for 4 Yoga (Scaravelli) All levels.

Revitalise, 9.30–10.30am, £35 for 6/£7 drop-in

DIRECTORY The Acupuncture Clinic 143 Portland Road, Hove 01273 722422 Alexandra Dance Academy 11 Howard Road, Hanover All Saints Church Hall Eaton Road, Hove Ian Kendall: 07900 193230 www.ik-taichi.com Anahata Health Clinic 119–120 Edward Street, Kemp Town, 01273 698687 Back2Balance 35 Goldstone Villas, Hove 01273 206868 BE Pilates Studio 121 Eldred Ave, Westdene Carla: 01273 273074 Bodhi Garden Centre 7 Ship St Gardens, Brighton Call Richard 07796 331167 Brighthelm Community Centre North Road, Brighton Brighton Buddhist Centre 17 Tichborne Street, Brighton 01273 772090 Brighton Ki Centre 12 Queens Square, Brighton Barry: 07854 389606 Brighton Natural Health Centre Regent Street, Brighton 01273 600010 Brighton Reiki Centre Viaduct Road, Brighton 07968 982136 Cheetahs Boxing Gym Next King Alfred Centre, Kings Way, Hove. 01273 206644 Coast Chiropractic 198 Church Road, Hove, 01273 321144 Coral Health And Fitness Orchard Road, Hove 01273 731262 Cornerstone Community Centre Church Road, Hove The Dance Station Unit 4, 57 North Street, Portslade. 01273 419977 Davigdor Infants School Somerhill Road, Hove Bernie: 07799 097776 Dean’s Leisure Centre Longhill School Karen: 01273 305827 The Dharma School Ladies Mile Road, Patcham Diamond Way Buddhist Centre Montpelier Road, Brighton Ingrid: 07736 061108 Dorothy Stringer Sports Complex Loder Road, B’tn.

Info on 07895 066321.

Fitforall Unit 1, Portland Road Trading Estate, Hove, 01273 415515 Holistic Health Clinic 53 Beaconsfield Rd, Brighton 01273 696295 Johnson Page Healthcare Chiropractic & Medical Acupuncture, 15 Ship Street 01273 724777 King Alfred Leisure Centre Kingsway, Hove, 01273 290290 Komaja Centre 21a Upper Market Street, Hove. Cela: 01273 771472 Leach Court Eastern Road, Brighton.

Ian Kendall: 07900 193230 More Bar/Restaurant 98 Trafalgar Street, Brighton 07717 584738 Patcham Community Centre Ladies Mile Road, Patcham Peacehaven Leisure Centre Greenwich Way, Peacehaven, East Sussex 01273 588858 Revitalise (Planet Janet) 86 Church Road, Hove 01273 738389 St Mary Magdalen Community Centre 55 Upper North St, Brighton, 01273 676992 Unit 4 20–26 Roundhill St, Brighton Wendy Whatling School of Dance Unit 11a Dyke Road Mews, Brighton. wendywhat ling@ btconnect.com List for FREE in this section.

Email health events to editorial@thelatest.co.uk with the date, place, time and cost

If you would like to comment on this story please email editorial@thelatest.co.uk

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ANDREW KAY’S FOOD&DRINK

Barn to rights Andrew Kay joins friends at Cromwells at Golding Barn in Small Dole Given my recent lack of enthusiasm for drink I had absolutely no problem nominating myself as driver for a trip out to dinner with friends.

Daniel and Lynne live in Bramber, one of the county’s prettiest villages and as yet remarkably unspoiled. They had already been to Cromwells and were enthusiastic enough to persuade me to join them for dinner. I gladly accepted the offer and by 7pm on a sunny late spring evening joined them for a pre-dinner tipple at their home before making the short journey to Small Dole. It’s not the prettiest of place names is it and, frankly, few could actually get to see how pretty it is as the main road that runs north to Henfield is filled with speeding traffic. More fool them as the view west is amongst the best in Sussex. The flood plain of the Adur looks almost untouched, small fields are dotted with small dwellings and in the distance, on a clear day, you can see Bramber Castle rising above the village.

Sponsored by Lynne’s duck was a far prettier affair and one that she declared delicious. In fact it was almost impossible for even Dan to get a taste.

We drank a good bottle of Italian red, Dan’s choice, and sat and enjoyed the busy atmosphere as the sun finally settled over Steyning in the distance.

When the waiter returned for our dessert choices, Lynne rather cleverly excused herself and popped to the ladies. A clever ruse I guess to avoid the agony of reading about puddings when you perhaps feel that you should not have one – although, quite frankly, she has little to worry about as she has the figure of a mere slip of a girl, no doubt one of the reasons why Dan is so clearly infatuated with her. There is something very nice about spending time with people who are inordinately fond of each other but can express their love without making you feel like a spare rick at the hay wain.

I of course had no qualms about ordering a bread and butter pudding with crème Anglaise. It was good too but the bread I thought too much like cake and therefore a tad too sweet. I also don’t think that a good bread and butter pudding requires custard, after all the mortar that holds it together is exactly that – eggy custard.

Dan chose an apple spring roll which was a good idea, prettily presented but rather heavy-handed in the making. The pancake casing was just a touch too thick. Lynne returned from her ablutions in time to wield a spare spoon cleverly provided by the waiter.

Coffee was excellent, double espressos served piping hot just as I like them. We chattered and eventually went out into the crisp, clear night where the garden was lit with candles and lanterns. The owners certainly go the whole way to make this an enjoyable experience and our bill at around £30 each seemed more than fair. Judging by how full they were I guess that booking has become essential but they are always open for breakfast, lunch and tea if you are passing.

Cromwells at Golding Barn, Henfield Road, Small Dole, West Sussex.

Call 01903 815999 or see www.cromwellsatgoldingbarn.co.uk

Passionate about property, fanatical about food 59 Church Road, Hove 01273 735237 www.callaways.co.uk

‘‘It sounded an odd combination but one that I sensed, if they could pull it off, would be rather good. It was’’ It was a clear day too but at that point not warm enough to dine outside, sad really as the grounds and gardens at Cromwells are very nice indeed. We went in and were led to our table by a sombrero-toting waiter. I started to panic – was I in for some Tex-Mex nightmare, never my favourite cuisine.

It appeared that it was a part of a series of dining around the world events but happily for me there was no Mexican food left so we could head straight to the à la carte without any qualms.

The building itself is quaint and pretty, designed with a Provençal feel that strangely does not seem out of place. It’s also spotlessly clean, squeakily so, and the staff are uniformly attractive. I did have a slight Stepford Waiters moment but I was soon distracted by the food.

The dinner menu was pleasantly short but not without plenty of temptations. Lynne settled on smoked salmon with little hesitation, a choice I have seen her make several times, and with Springs Smokery just down the road it seemed like the intelligent choice. She was not disappointed.

Both Dan and I fancied the scallops, which came with caramelised cauliflower purée. Now I have no idea how you set about caramelising cauli but have to report that it was rather good, nutty perhaps, certainly not burnt. The scallops too were good if a little small, but they were well treated, sweet and juicy and barely cooked, just right in fact.

Dan and I stuck to matching main courses too, both attracted to the saddle of Sussex lamb stuffed with a cumin pesto. It sounded an odd combination but one that I sensed, if they could pull it off, would be rather good. It was. The meat was meltingly tender, the fat in a fine line sweet and creamy and the skin crisp. The stuffing, with its rich Indian spicing, made a perfect balance and celeriac mash a good bland foil for the other parts. The sauce was good too. Strangely however the presentation was clumsy, a surprise after our very prettily arranged starters. The pommes dauphinoise was perfect, just the right amount of cream and seasoning to hold the sliced waxy potatoes together.

New Exciting Menus Dinner Menu (3 course) £25.00 Sunday to Thursday 6pm till close ~~~~~

Lunch Menu (2 course) £11.95 Sunday to Friday 12pm to 5pm Or choose from our à la Carte menu ~~~~~ Please visit our web site to view menus

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FOOD & DRINK

latest hot

LIST RESTAURANTS & BARS

The Gourmet Fish & Chip Company The Gourmet Fish and Chip Company at Brighton Marina has taken the dish into the 21st century. Diners can enjoy fantastic top-grade fish and chips in a trendy diner environment and even enjoy a beer while they wait for their takeaway order. Check out the gourmet fish platter and lunch-time specials. The restaurant is located on the ground-floor level of the waterfront and is open seven days a week. Fully licensed.

The Walk of Fame, 18 Waterfront, Brighton Marina, 01273 670701 www.gourmetfishandchipcompany.com

New Steine Bistro

RESTAURANTS BRITISH AND MODERN EUROPEAN Bardsley’s Probably Brighton’s most popular fish and chip shop and restaurant with a large loyal clientele. Totally traditional and family-run with all your favourites, but also an excellent blackboard of daily fish specials.

They’re open for lunch and dinner Tuesday to Saturday and it’s also a great party venue. There are massive fish platters and good seasonal seafood. Fish can be fried, grilled or poached, plus vegetarian choices.

22–23a Baker Street, Brighton, 01273 681256

Blanch House The restaurant at Blanch House is an inhouse affair. All involved are dedicated to excellence in food, service and wines but with no pretensions. You can sit back and take pleasure in the relaxed atmosphere of dinner at your best friend’s house while enjoying innovative food, attentive and personal service, and superb wine and cocktail lists. The menu changes with the seasons and availability to ensure that only the freshest high-quality produce is used.

Meat, dairy products and other ingredients are locally sourced and organic where possible. Fish is from the local day boats when available.

17 Atlingworth Street, Brighton, 01273 603504, www.blanchhouse.co.uk

Café Belge

Cosy French bistro with regular art exhibitions creating the perfect setting for the appreciation of traditional homemade French cuisine either with friends or for a romantic night out. A hidden gem in the heart of Kemp Town, and very reasonable too! With its daily evening menu at £10.50 weekdays and £14.50 Friday and Saturday.

A la carte menu Tuesday to Saturday 6pm to 10pm for last orders. Available for all celebrations and party bookings with tailormade menu to your needs including live entertainment.

12a New Steine, Brighton, 01273 681546 reservation@newsteinehotel.com www.newsteinehotel.com

Polar Bar East The Polar East is pleased to introduce the new spring/summer menu. Freshly cooked British and European food using locally sourced produce. Great local atmosphere.

Beer garden with barbecue. Main meals from £3. All meat is supplied by Brampton's Premium Butchers.

8 St George’s Road, Kemp Town, Brighton, 01273 683334

Ruby Tate’s Situated at the heart of cosmopolitan Kemp Town, Ruby Tate’s oyster and champagne bar really is the pearl of Brighton. From moules marinière to lobster Thermidor, this is a paradise for seafood lovers. The restaurant’s stylish décor and trademark friendly service ensure that diners enjoy the gourmet food and fine champagne in a relaxed, informal atmosphere.

40 St James’s Street, Brighton, 01273 693251

Sevendials Restaurant

Café Belge offers award-winning food (Café Belge Eastbourne received a gold star for food from the prestigious Harden’s Guide 2006) – 50 ways to eat a fresh mussel, salmon fishcakes, award-winning 12” wild boar and beer sausage, fresh sea bass, steak Béarnaise, Toblerone fondue, Belgian waffles – just to give you an insight into what to expect. They also stock more than 100 beers all served in their own glasses, from light and delicious fruit beers to Trapist Monk beers to Belgian Guinness as well as a fine wine list.

64 Kings Rd (corner of West St & seafront), 01273 733290, www.cafebelge.co.uk

A smart restaurant in so many ways, excellent food and a sensible variety of menus in chic surroundings. Chef Sam runs a team of food-lovers who deliver time after time, from a simple lunch to a full à la carte dinner. Cooking reflects the seasons rather than fashion, and quality is paramount, with great locally caught fish, game in season and desserts that are a delight plus a wine list that is full of treats without being expensive too. Make the most of the terrace while the weather is warm or the private dining room for a treat.

1 Buckingham Place, Brighton, 01273 885555, www.sevendialsrestaurant.co.uk

The Coach House

The Terraces Bar, Grill and Dining Room

Friendly restaurant bar in the city centre serving an excellent range of hearty homecooked food, separate evening and lunch menus, and always a selection of roasts on Sunday. Great mussels, steaks, soups and a good wine list. In the winter a central open fire roars, in summer people soak up the late sun on the pretty terrace. The warm atmosphere and good value pricing make this a popular local haunt.

59 Middle Street, Brighton, 01273 719000 www.coachhousebrighton.com

Terraces bar and grill offers customers a relaxed approach to drinking, eating and hospitality. The lower level is available for private parties, wedding receptions, corporate events, Christmas parties, formal dinners or product launches. Whatever you want, you can be sure of an experience as consistently satisfying as the breathtaking views across Brighton seafront.

Madeira Drive, Brighton, 01273 570526, www.the-terraces.co.uk

CROATIAN AND BOSNIAN Kaskada Kaskada brings the traditions of the Mediterranean to the UK. The first Croatian and Bosnian brasserie in Brighton, Kaskada promises professional friendly service, a warm cosy environment and honestly priced, well presented organic meals made completely from scratch – even the chips! Whether you are looking for a quick convenient bite, an impressive organised event or even a romantic evening, trust the creativity and excellence of the dishes or the warmth and friendliness of the surroundings, dining at Kaskada is a delightful experience.

Brighton’s best-kept secret. Open Sunday to Thursday 11am-midnight, and Friday to Saturday 11am-1am.

35 Queens Road, Brighton, 01273 321320

GREEK Symposio Greek Taverna In a city with very few Greek eateries it’s great to find somewhere warm and inviting to indulge in some Greek food. From magnificent mezze to classic grilled meats, Symposio has a great taverna atmosphere and the lively style of the venue adds a great ambience to what can be a terrific party venue. Also fabulous for a romantic dinner, family outing or business meal. The moussaka is a must and also the deep red wine-soaked sausages and crisp calamari.

121 Western Road, Hove 01273 779474 www.ipanemarestaurants.com

INDIAN Nooris Indian Cuisine One of Brighton’s longest-standing Indian restaurants and justifiably so. Smart service and a menu that, as well as offering all our favourite dishes, has some interesting and unusual dishes on offer.

Great central location just off the seafront.

Portions are on the very generous side so order carefully. We have always been particularly impressed by the vegetarian menu, especially the malai kupta. Excellent breads and side dishes too. £6.95 for a twocourse meal and £11.95 for a three-course meal with wine.

70 Ship Street, Brighton 01273 329405

ITALIAN Donatello The flagship venue of this local family-run business serving excellent-value Italian food in stylish and spotless surroundings. It is popular with locals in the week but at the weekend it draws an audience from London. There are brilliant-value meal deals on blackboards outside – two courses £6.95, three £8.95 – as well as à la carte. The haunt of celebs in season from soap stars to politicos. Fun, friendly and fabulous value.

Brighton Place, Brighton, 01273 775477, www.donatello.co.uk

Fat Leo Supposedly the budget branch of the Donatello stable but you’d be hard-pressed to see why. Once again, quality family dining in the Italian mould but a little less expensive. Very popular with students and families with young children, Fat Leo has trendy interiors, including the toilets, and a menu that is utterly affordable with the company’s signature set-price boards proclaiming any two courses £5.95, any three courses £7.95.

16–17 Market Street, Brighton, 01273 325135

LATIN AMERICAN Las Iguanas Brazilian cooking has come to town and with it all the fun of the caipirinha. Spicy, fun and inexpensive, this Latin newcomer is already proving popular, especially the two-for-one cocktail deals and an excellent £7 two-course lunch menu. Whacky interiors and a cool cocktail bar give the place a carnival feel all the time and the staff are friendly and fun too. If you don’t know what cachaca is, then it’s time to find out.

7–8 Jubilee Street, Brighton, 01273 573550, www.iguanas.co.uk

SOUTH EAST ASIAN Bali Brasserie Located in a 1960s mansion block, this very popular Indonesian-Malaysian restaurant has a rijsttafel buffet dining menu at £16.95 with a wide and generous range of dishes that are constantly replenished. There is also an à la carte menu. Nice original retro décor, bamboo and cane, pink and gilt, with lots of oriental puppets, jazz playing and a friendly atmosphere. Very Simon Templar.

Kingsway Court, First Avenue, Hove, 01273 323810, 12-2pm, 6.30-10.30pm (till 11pm Friday and Saturday)

SPANISH La Tapa De Oro This large upper room is home to great and authentic Spanish cooking. Tapas has been trendy for years but here the emphasis is on real Iberian food. Favourites include sweet slices of octopus on boiled potato slices dressed with olive oil, lovely ensalad Russe and great jamon Serrano. Informal and friendly, this is a great place for a romantic dinner, family outing, business meal or party.

123 Western Road, Hove 01273 779474 www.ipanemarestaurants.com

THAI Chokdee Possibly the first of its kind, this premium take-away offers fantastic-quality Thai food to your door if you use the home-delivery service or to take away if you are passing.

You can eat in too, as there is a stylish dining area. Counter service does away with additional service charges, so you can enjoy Thai food as often as you like without the fuss. At Chokdee it’s the food that’s the thing. Foodies – start the queue!

98 Goldstone Villas, Hove, 01273 720370, open every day (12pm–3pm and 5pm–11pm)

To have an entry in the latest hot list call 01273 818150 22 latest 7

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FOOD & DRINK Sawadee

The Eagle

The Thai restaurant that people love, for parties and celebrations, and because they always give the best of times. And why not; this well-priced restaurant pleases repeatedly with dishes we have all grown to love, and some new ones too. We were impressed by the use of authentic ingredients, such as pea aubergines where others use peas. Lots of fish dishes too with bass and pomfret and a great sliced beef salad.

87 St James’s Street, Brighton, 01273 624233, www.sawadeethai.co.uk

Great atmosphere, warm welcome, good beer and above all, great food from this gastropub. Hearty, modern food inspired by global cuisine and sensibly priced – you won’t go home hungry or broke. Right in the heart of the North Laine, an excellent place for lunch or dinner. Voted Latest 7 Pub Of The Year.

125 Gloucester Road, Brighton, 01273 607765

VEGETARIAN Revitalise (formerly Planet Janet) This popular and stylish Hove café restaurant offers delicious healthy hot and cold food in combination with being an excellent centre for therapies, treatments and classes. Healthy breakfasts, chunky sandwiches, soups, main meals, jacket potatoes and salads form the core of the menu. Freshly pressed fruit and vegetable juices in delicious revitalising combos, delicious fair-trade teas and coffee, vegan and gluten-free options. Open seven days a week, families welcome. You can eat for less than a fiver!

86 Church Road, Hove, 01273 738389, www.revitalise-u.com

BARS & PUBS The Bell This friendly, traditional pub reopened its doors at the end of last year after having undergone extensive refurbishment and is now under new ownership. Tucked away off Blatchington Road, it already has a name for itself for its great value food, freshly made every day from locally sourced products, including fantastic roasts on Sundays. The pub is child friendly and there’s often something extra going on, from quiz nights to live music. There’s also a function room available to hire and happy hours every Monday to Friday from 4-7pm.

15-17 Belfast Street, Hove, 01273 770773

Blanch House The award-winning cocktail bar is located on the ground floor of the five-storey building and offers an eclectic range of superbly made cocktails. The owner, Chris Edwardes, has managed many renowned bars, restaurants and clubs in London, including the Groucho Club, The Pharmacy, as well as opening the Jazz Café, The Atlantic, and the Ge Club for Conran. His cocktail skills have been described as ’legendary’ by those in the know and with over 30 years’ experience in the industry it was only a matter of time before he opened his own quality venue.

17 Atlingworth Street, Brighton, 01273 603504, www.blanchhouse.co.uk Terraces Bar, Grill and Dining Room

GinGin Sophisticated cocktail chic at this stylish St James’s Street bar. Try one of the head barman’s innovative cocktails using unusual mixes and fresh herbs. Cool interiors and a warm and friendly atmosphere which, for once in a city that worships youth, is not ageist.

St James’s Street, Kemp Town, Brighton, 01273 671119

The Hop Poles Great central pub with off-the-wall décor and a loyal clientele of the city’s fashionable best. A fantastic menu of wellpriced food means it gets very busy and seats are at a premium, even in winter on the heated terrace, so get there early.

Excellent free-range meat is specially sourced, while vegetarians are well catered for too.

13 Middle Street, Brighton, 01273 710444

Koba Bar & Club Koba hosts a happy hour in the public front bar between 5pm and 7pm all week. With three bars over three floors with a dedicated team of mixologists, this venue stands as a flagship of quality in Brighton and has been nominated in the top ten bars/clubs in the UK by The Independent.

Good beers, a sensible wine list and, of course, champagne for those special occasions (or just the sheer love of it). The perfect venue for a private party or an atmospheric night out. Live music on Thursdays, DJs on the weekend. For free K-list membership with access to the club, go to the website.

135 Western Road, Brighton, 01273 720059, www.kobauk.com

Preston Park Tavern This stunning new gastro-pub is situated on Havelock Road in Fiveways. Fresh, locally sourced food is served seven days a week from the open-plan kitchen. A separate children’s menu is available in this totally non-smoking venue. It boasts a great range of real ales and lagers as well as a 17 bin wine list, all served by the glass or bottle.

88 Havelock Road, Brighton, 01273 542271

216 Church Road, Hove

10% discount on take away Opening hours: 12.00pm-2.30pm and 6.00pm-11.30pm Offers exclude bank holidays

01273 722216 01273 770704 latest 7 23

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FILM www.odeon.co.uk

0871 224 4007 Tuesday 29

Thursday 31

28 WEEKS LATER (18) 1.00, 3.30, 6.00, 8.30 BRIDGE TO TERABITHIA (PG) 10.15, 12.30, 2.45 CHARLOTTE’S WEB (U) 10.30am PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: AT WORLD’S END (12A) 10.00, 11.00, 12.00, 1.00, 2.00, 3.00, 4.00, 5.00, 6.00, 7.00, 8.00, 9.00, 10.00 SPIDER-MAN 3 (12A) 10, 12.30, 1.30, 4.00, 5.00, 8.30 ZODIAC (15) 5.00, 8.30 DIRECTOR’S CHAIR: LETTERS FROM IWO JIMA (15) 8.30

28 WEEKS LATER (18) 3.30, 8.30 BRIDGE TO TERABITHIA (PG) 10.15, 12.30, 2.45 CHARLOTTE’S WEB (U) 10.30am PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: AT WORLD’S END (12A) 10.00, 11.00, 12.00, 1.00, 2.00, 3.00, 4.00, 5.00, 6.00, 7.00, 8.00, 9.00, 10.00 SPIDER-MAN 3 (12A) 10, 12.30, 1.30, 4.00, 5.00, 7.30, 8.30 WEDDING DAZE (15) 1.00, 6.00 ZODIAC (15) 5.00, 8.30 SENIOR SCREEN: VENUS (15) 10.30am

Wednesday 30 28 WEEKS LATER (18) 3.30, 8.30 BRIDGE TO TERABITHIA (PG) 10.15, 12.30, 2.45 CHARLOTTE’S WEB (U) 10.30am PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: AT WORLD’S END (12A) 10.00, 11.00, 12.00, 1.00, 2.00, 3.00, 4.00, 5.00, 6.00, 7.00, 8.00, 9.00, 10.00 SPIDER-MAN 3 (12A) 10, 12.30, 1.30, 4.00, 5.00, 7.30, 8.30 WEDDING DAZE (15) 1.00, 6.00 ZODIAC (15) 5.00, 8.30

Films showing Friday 1–Monday 4 28 WEEKS LATER (18) PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: AT WORLD’S END (12A) SPIDER-MAN 3 (12A) WEDDING DAZE (15) ZODIAC (15) PLEASE CHECK WITH CINEMA FOR CONFIRMATION OF FILMS SHOWING FROM FRIDAY FROM FRIDAY

www.picturehouses.co.uk

01273 626261 Tuesday 29

Friday 1

JINDABYNE (15) 1.00, 6.30 ZODIAC (15) 3.30, 9.00

JINDABYNE (15) 3.00, 9.00 ZODIAC (15) 12.00, 6.00 LATE NIGHT: TBC 11.30pm

Wednesday 30 JINDABYNE (15) 1.30, 7.00 ZODIAC (15) 4.00, 9.30 BIG SCREAM: JINDABYNE (15) 11.00am

Saturday 2

Thursday 31

Sunday 3

JINDABYNE (15) 1.00, 6.30 ZODIAC (15) 3.30, 9.00

ZODIAC (15) 3.30, 6.30

ZODIAC (15) 4.30, 7.30 KIDS CLUB: ROBOTS (U) 11.00am

Monday 4 JINDABYNE (15) 4.00, 9.30 ZODIAC (15) 1.00, 6.30

www.cineworld.co.uk

01273 818094 Tuesday 29

Thursday 31

28 WEEKS LATER (18) 9.20 BRIDGE TO TERABITHIA (PG) 11.45, 2.15, 4.30 MAGICIANS (15) 10.50 PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: AT WORLD’S END (12A) 10.45, 11.30, 12.15, 1.00, 2.45, 3.30, 4.15, 5.00, 6.45, 7.30, 8.15, 9.00 SPIDER-MAN 3 (12A) 11.00, 12.20, 2.00, 3.20, 5.10, 6.20, 8.30 ZODIAC (15) 1.45, 5.20, 8.40

28 WEEKS LATER (18) 9.20 BRIDGE TO TERABITHIA (PG) 11.45, 2.15 MAGICIANS (15) 10.50 PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: AT WORLD’S END (12A) 10.45, 11.30, 12.15, 1.00, 2.45, 3.30, 4.15, 5.00, 6.45, 7.30, 8.15, 9.00 SPIDER-MAN 3 (12A) 11.00, 12.20, 2.00, 3.20, 5.10, 6.20, 8.30 WEDDING DAZE (15) 4.50, 7.10, 9.15 ZODIAC (15) 1.45, 5.20, 8.40

Wednesday 30 28 WEEKS LATER (18) 9.20 BRIDGE TO TERABITHIA (PG) 11.45, 2.15 MAGICIANS (15) 10.50 PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: AT WORLD’S END (12A) 10.45, 11.30, 12.15, 1.00, 2.45, 3.30, 4.15, 5.00, 6.45, 7.30, 8.15, 9.00 SPIDER-MAN 3 (12A) 11.00, 12.20, 2.00, 3.20, 5.10, 6.20, 8.30 WEDDING DAZE (15) 4.50, 7.10, 9.15 ZODIAC (15) 1.45, 5.20, 8.40

Films showing Friday 1–Monday 4 28 WEEKS LATER (18) BLACK SNAKE MOAN (15) BRIDGE TO TERABITHIA (PG) MAGICIANS (15) PARADISE LOST (18) PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: AT WORLD’S END (12A) SPIDER-MAN 3 (12A) THE HITCHER (15) ZODIAC (15) PLEASE CHECK WITH CINEMA FOR CONFIRMATION OF FILMS SHOWING FROM FRIDAY

Worthing Cinema

01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk please call for times

Tue 29-4 PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: AT WORLD’S END (12A)

24 latest 7

Fri 1 MR BEAN’S HOLIDAY (PG)

Fri 1-4 THE HITCHER (15)

Also showing...

A quick look at all this week’s releases 28 Weeks Later (18) Dir: Juan Carlos Fresnadillo This entirely unnecessary sequel to the excellent 28 Days Later transplants wit and nerve for all out gore and shock tactics. Set six months after the initial outbreak, this time the US army are drafted in to help quell a further outbreak as things go all zombie yet again. Robert Carlyle stars as the perpetual running-away-from-horde-of-zombies character while Rose Byrne adds a touch of classy grit. While not quite as subtle or original as the previous outing, this is still packed with scares and thrills. (3/5) Showing at Cineworld and Odeon Bridge to Terabithia (PG) Dir: Gabor Csupo Based on the 1970s classic book by Katherine Paterson, this faithful rendering tells the story of two reluctant childhood friends and their adventures in a fantasy world. While without the charm of classic Disney or Pixar, this is a film that works to its own distinctive beat and offers something a little different to the usual kiddie fodder. (3/5) Showing at Cineworld and Odeon Charlotte’s Web (U) Dir: Gabor Csupo This latest big screen adaptation of the classic E B White story follows Wilbur the pig as the end of the farming season approaches and Wilbur realises he’s destined for the dinner table. He quickly hatches a plan with Charlotte, a spider that lives in his pen, to ensure his survival. Pretty much the whole of Hollywood turns up to add their vocal talents to various farmyard animals. Steve Buscemi is a Rat, Julia Roberts the spider, Oprah Winfrey a goose, John Cleese a sheep, Robert Redford a horse, and perhaps most oddly Andre 3000 from Outkast stars as a crow. Dakota Fanning is the token cute child in a film that is as sweet as it is sentimental. (3/5) Showing at Odeon Jindabyne (15) Dir: Ray Lawrence This tale of guilt and responsibility in the Australian outback stars Gabriel Byrne and the always excellent Laura Linney. The story tells of a man (Byrne) who goes hunting with his friends only to come across the body of a dead girl. They decide to continue on their hunting trip before reporting the missing girl to the local authorities. Upon his return Byrne encounters his wife (Linney) who questions her husband’s moral virtue. The direction is suitably restrained and the two central performances are perfectly pitched. (3/5) Showing at Duke of York’s Magicians (15) Dir: Andrew O’Connor This big screen offering from the people behind the fantastic Channel 4 comedy, Peep Show, is a mixed bag. While both Mitchell & Webb are present, as are a host of other key performers and writers from the show, the film never quite manages to fully fill out the screen. Telling the tale of two rival magicians who fall out after a guillotine trick goes horribly wrong, this is British comedy in its most average guise. Don’t get me wrong, the jokes hit the mark and an acidic wit runs throughout, but something vital is lost in translation from the small screen to the big screen. (3/5) Showing at Cineworld Mr Bean’s Holiday (PG) Dir: Steve Bendelack Rowan Atkinson returns in his second cinematic caper as the hapless Mr Bean. This time Bean goes on holiday only for his video diaries to be accidentally screened at the illustrious Cannes Film Festival. Willem Defoe co-stars as Atkinson delivers another mildly

autistic performance as Bean in a film best described as average. (2/5) Showing at Worthing Theatres Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End (12A) Dir: Gore Verbinski This third and hopefully final installment in the Captain Jack Sparrow show sees Captain Barbossa, Will Turner, and Elizabeth Swann sail off the edge of the map, navigate treachery and betrayal, and make one last heroic stand at sea. All this whilst trying to save Jack and fight for survival. Chow Yun Fat pops up as a Singapore pirate captain and a certain Rolling Stone makes a much anticipated cameo with dreadlocks and all.

Still totally indulgent nonsense, but fun nonetheless. (3/5) Showing at Cineworld, Odeon, and Worthing Robots (U) Dir: Chris Wedge and Carlos Saldanha This 2005 offering from 20th Century Fox is a mildly diverting animated effort. Telling the story of robot Rodney Copperbottom as he tries to make it in Robot City. The basic premise is pretty much your usual underdog triumph story but the vocal talents of Robin Williams, Ewen McGregor, Halle Berry, James Earl Jones, Mel Brooks, Paul Giamatti, and Jim Broadbent give the film a certain kudos.

Despite the big budget and famous stars this still doesn’t match the originality of Pixar. (3/5) Showing at Duke of York’s Spider-Man 3 (12A) Dir: Sam Raimi The third installment in the Spidey franchise sees the webslinger multitask as he fights enemies on three fronts as well as his own burgeoning ego. The Green Goblin makes a return alongside new villians, The Sandman and Venom. This time round Peter Parker’s life is going swimmingly until a strange black goo from outer space lands on earth. Spiderman must fight for his family, Mary Jane, and – somewhat predictably – the inhabitants of New York City. The effects are outlandish and the story somewhat convoluted but the humanity and energy of the film shines through. (3/5) Showing at Odeon and Cineworld Venus (15) Dir: Roger Michell This recent award-touting film finds Peter O’Toole at his most crusty and debauched.

With a script by resident novelist extraordinaire, Hanif Kureisihi, the film tells the story of two ageing actors whose lives are turned upside down when they encounter a young and brash teenage girl. O’Toole is matched at every corner by a rejuvenated Leslie Phillips (for once free of his catchphrase stereotyping) and the always dependable Richard Griffiths, so brilliant in Withnail & I and The History Boys. While at times seeming cloying and slightly pervy, the overall feeling of lives lived to the full forges a soft but nervy film, full of charm. (3/5) Showing at Odeon Zodiac (15) Dir: David Fincher Fincher returns after a long break with this adaptation of the Robert Graysmith books about the real-life serial killer from the 60s and 70s, Zodiac. Jake Gyllenhall is superb in the lead role while Robert Downey Jr and Brian Cox add some charm and grit. While not as riveting or fast paced as Fincher’s previous efforts, Seven or Fight Club, this is still a clever little thriller in a similar vein to such seventies classics as All the President’s Men and The Parallax View. A dark and muddled gem that takes its time to warm up but, once it does, exerts a fascinating grip. (3/5) Showing at Cineworld and Odeon

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5/24/07

12:29 PM

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FILM

L7 lowdown Hear the tiger roar New releases reviewed

7 Selects

Black Snake Moan (15) Director: Craig Brewer This new film from Hustle & Flow director Brewer is a somewhat odd account of a God-fearing bluesman (Samuel L Jackson) who enslaves a wild young woman (Christina Ricci). She, as a victim of childhood sexual abuse, keeps looking everywhere for love and yet never quite finds it. While the central conceit is at times painfully misogynistic, the two leads give outstanding performances and offer a heartfelt mix of love, hate, pain, and regret. The script does occasionally slip into the mundane but this is a film with a sweet authenticity, even if that sweetness is at times politically questionable.

Craig Driver Showing at Cineworld

The Hitcher (15)

Letters From Iwo Jima (15)

Director: Clint Eastwood This companion piece to Eastwood’s Flags of our Fathers is far more effective than its American counterpart and offers a Japanese viewpoint of the fateful battle at Iwo Jima. Ken Watanabe heads a cast made up of some of the finest actors to come out of Japan, China, and Korea. Where Eastwood’s American effort sometimes felt laboured and irksome this film manages its subtleties with far more dignity and grace. A sombre but poetic film.

Showing at Odeon

Paradise Lost (18)

Director: Scott Derrikson Perhaps the most cheeky movie to be released in quite some time, this is a big screen adaptation of John Milton’s 1667 epic poem. With a budget in excess of $100 million the film focuses on the actual war of archangels – the battle between God’s and Satan’s army – instead of the Adam/Eve storyline.

While the film couldn’t ask for more impressive source material the fact that director Derrikson is responsible for such duds as Hellraiser: Inferno and the screenplay for Urban Legends: Final Cut should have academics choking on their thesauruses. Silly, violent, and undeniably flawed this is an experience best described as surreal.

Showing at Cineworld

Director: Dave Meyers Twenty one years on from the original Robert Harmon flick Hollywood has deemed it time to remake a film that wasn’t even that good first time round.

In this new and gory offering Rutger Hauer is replaced by human breeze block Sean Bean as he continues his one man attempt to bore the world.

The basic premise centres around a young couple who must run for their lives from a murderous hitcher. With a running time of 97 minutes this is a film an hour and a half too long.

Showing at Cineworld and Worthing

Craig Driver licks his lips in anticipation as the 2007 Tiger Film Festival hits our fair city for the first time

Running from 31 May to 3 June, OORT and Terracotta Media present a four-day showcase of the latest Far East films, mixed with a wide array of club nights and themed events in and around Brighton.

The Tiger Festival – unsurprisingly sponsored by Tiger beer – is a brand new addition to the international film festival circuit and sees Asian cinema finally get some much deserved exposure down by the sea. The opening night party on 31 May will be held at Concorde 2. It will feature the finest quality hip hop, breaks and soul from the visionary producer (and one half of 4hero) Marc Mac, plus The Qemists (the new signing to Ninja Tunes) with an inventive three-man DJ set.

The film festival, itself, starts on 1 June and will feature six new films from the Far East, all to be screened at Brighton’s home of independent cinema, the Duke Of York’s Picturehouse. With titles ranging from action and drama to melodrama and comedy, this looks set to be a festival with a difference.

It opens with Satoshi Kon’s award-winning animé epic Paprika on 1 June.

Telling the story of a machine that allows therapists to enter their patients’ dreams, this is animé at its most surreal and ambitious. On 2 June, the festival continues apace as Zhang Yimou’s latest festival favourite, Riding Alone For Thousands Of Miles hits the screen. Unlike his recent martial arts efforts, this is a much more understated, deeply poetic film about a Japanese father who travels to China to film a famous folk-opera singer.

On the same day (in the evening) there is a screening of the 2004 Thai horror, Shutter. Telling the story of a couple who are haunted by their photographs, this will be remade in Hollywood next year, so catch the original while you can. After the screening there is a Tiger Festival party taking place at Sussex Arts Club. Bringing together the UK’s best upcoming soul, electronica and hip hop talent, the event will feature Elmore Judd and Eric Lau plus guests. Elmore Judd – the alter ego of Jesse Hackett – is performing with his full band, including brother Louis Slipperz (aka RawDog). Gilles Peterson is a fan, and you should be too.

The final day of the Tiger Film Festival kicks off in the morning with Johnny To’s Hong Kong cop thriller, PTU. This is followed in the afternoon by a screening of Xiaogang Feng’s, The Banquet, a loose adaptation of Hamlet set in the 10th century Chinese Tang Dynasty. The film stars Ziyi Zhang of Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon fame. The festival closes with Wilson Yip’s explosive martial arts epic, Dragon Tiger Gate.

This year, the Tiger Festival will serve as a brief-but-thrilling forerunner to next year’s week-long festival, which will occupy a post-Cannes slot.

With some of the most original and surprising films to come out of the East, the festival crams more into three days than most festivals do in a week. To blag one of 300 free tickets to the opening night party just email your name and favourite Far East film to party@tigerfestival.com.

Don’t delay, though, it’s first come first served!

See www.tigerfestival.com or www.myspace.com/tigerfestival

Wedding Daze (15)

Director: Michael Ian Black This frothy but ambitious romantic comedy finds Jason Biggs fresh out of a relationship with the perfect girl and looking for love. Dared by his best friend to propose to the first girl he sees, he gets down on one knee and proposes to waitress Isla Fisher.

Mayhem ensues as she agrees and the couple find themselves meeting the parents and friends, all the time trying to get to know each other. This kind of schtick only really works when the script is tight and, unfortunately with Wedding Daze, this is not the case. Biggs is charming while Fisher is suitably kooky but, in the end, this is farcical stuff brimming over with sentiment.

Showing at Cineworld and Odeon latest 7 25

026_027_LS323_music

5/23/07

4:56 PM

Page 2

MUSIC

THE BIG GIG

THIS WEEK Kevin Montgomery and Tommy Allsup Mouth-watering double bill of American roots music. While the contemporary yet timeless feel of Kevin Montgomery’s (pictured) music is strongly influenced by the California country rock of artists like Gram Parsons, The Eagles and Roger McGuinn, his deeply resonant songwriting also recalls the Americana-flavoured storytelling of Bruce Springsteen and Jackson Browne. On the other hand, Tommy Allsup is a living legend having made music since the late 1940s. A massive supporter of ‘western swing’, he most famously played lead guitar with Buddy Holly & The Crickets in the final year of Holly’s life (he escaped the fatal plane crash that killed Holly and two members of his band by tossing a coin to determine if either himself or Ritchie Valens would take the last seat) and produced many of the greats of country music including Bob Wills & The Playboys and Willie Nelson.

Mon 4 June, The Greys Pub, 01273 680734

Pet Shop Boys Rufus Wainwright With a new album out, Rufus continues to enthrall with his exceptional talent as a singer, composer and performer.

Brighton Dome, Sun 24 June, 01273 709709

Latest 7’s Top 5 records James Yorkston Roaring The Gospel (album Domino) Following last year’s rather dreary and depressing The Year of the Leopard, Yorkston has a skip in his step, and a warm glow in his heart as he and his friends (including King Creosote) pleasantly amble their way through some inspired country, roots and folk numbers.

Influenced by English and Scottish folk as well as esoteric music from around the world, here is a gorgeous collection of ramshackle traditionals and originals that demonstrate a finely-tuned grasp of the dynamics of story-telling, and which sound perfectly suited to lazy, hazy summer days in the park.

1

Josh Pyke Memories & Dust (album Island) Aussie singer songwriter in the story-telling mould. Fluid, gorgeous songs in Elliot Smith style.

2

The Pigeon Detectives Wait For Me (album Dance To The Radio) New indie punks who swagger like The Clash and The Strokes but with a poppier, more yoofful edge.

3

Candie Payne I Wish I Could Have Loved You More (album Deltasonic) Well-produced homage to 1960s film scores and lounge vibes. All the songs sit atop a funky groove while Payne impresses with a bit of Beth Gibbons and Dusty Springfield.

4

Bonde do Role With Lasers (album Domino) Brazilian eccentric and leftfield electro mash-up. Like CS, but with a bit more depth and despair.

5

What is it about dour, robo-bands from the UK that make megabucks such as Depeche Mode and these boys? Chris Lowe’s and Neil Tennant’s highly synthesised melodic pop and dance music is overlaid with pseudo-intelligent lyrics about fashionistas, trendies, eccentrics and wannabes. Sure, the lyrics often contain hidden meanings and an antiestablishment slant that endears them to the more liberal, leftof-centre in us. And, yes, their ‘anti-rock’ manifesto is suited to the surprisingly large numbers of people out there who really don’t like traditional music. But personally I’ve never managed to find any satisfaction whatsoever in their limp, insipid, mediocre and soulless synth pop manifesto that refuses to grow into anything beyond an icy, ‘arty’ and frigid coolness. And yet, I still take my hat off to them for managing to con so many…

Wed 30 May, Brighton Centre, 0870 900 9100

The Thermals Portland, Oregon threepiece signed to Sub Pop (famously home to Nirvana) currently in the middle of a UK tour supporting Wakefield’s The Cribs. This is a oneoff headlining show for this driving, no-frills, indie-rock band who are influenced by the 1980s hardcore scene that shook the complacency of American punks via such incendiary bands as Minutemen, Hüsker Dü and Fugazi. Brighton’s Shrag are in support.

Wed 30 May, Ocean Rooms, Brighton, 01273 699069

For music listings see our day-to-day guide starting on page 37 26 latest 7

If you would like your event listed please email listings@thelatest.co.uk

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5/23/07

12:12 PM

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MUSIC

BRIGHTON SCENE A weekly round-up of what’s happening in the local Brighton and Sussex music scene Aussie boys The Stirring (Fri 1 June, Komedia) re-located as a band (they were known as Audience in Australia) last year to Brighton where they have been ploughing their no nonsense, straight-ahead rock furrow. This gig is being recorded with a view to releasing the result later in the year. Supporting them is Lee ‘Muddy’ Baker and his My Federation who recently played a couple of gigs at The Great Escape festival and have been winning praise for their upbeat psychedelic-based rock.

A couple of local bands to look out for this week are the wonderful Aaron King Band (Tues 29 May, Joogleberry) and Shrag (Wed 30 May, Ocean Rooms). Aaron is a very talented pianist and singer songwriter who writes dark indie pop music that combines Shrag evocative harmonies with double-edged lyrics and irresistible hooks. They are Matt Eaton of Actress Hands supporting Britonica.

Meanwhile, art rockers Shrag (featuring former Latest 7 writer Russell Warrior on bass) write witty, none-too-subtle new wave type ditties that have seen them being snapped up by the Where It’s At Is Where You Are label. They are currently in the middle of a tour with The Cribs and The Thermals, although for this gig there will only be The Thermals to contend with.

Local indie rockers Actress Hands are signed to the local Life Is Easy label and have a new single out this week, the (hopefully) appropriately entitled Summer Days. Matt Eaton and co strip back to the basics with a driving, harmony-drenched and rhythmic homage to hay fever. New album Show Madelaine should see the light of day next month.

It’s a busy month in the world of music venues – as well as Barfly taking over the Brighton Gloucester for a mixed bag of live indie music and club action, it’s also been announced that the Academy Group has taken over the fabulous Hippodrome in Middle Street (previously a venue for all the greats of music and comedy such as The Beatles (yes, them!) and Laurel & Hardy, and more recently (eyes down now) bingo.

Let’s hope that these music ‘chains’ don’t attempt to commodify and homogenise the generally eclectic, independent and adventurous music scene here in groovy little ‘ole Brighton. A case in point is the Joogleberry Playhouse which has strived long and hard to be a full-time live venue, often promoting unknown acts and sticking their necks out a bit. Well, it celebrates its fourth birthday on 4 June, raising a glass to another great year for this essential live venue. The night kicks off at 6pm and will feature tapas, and live band Ed Meme & The Forms, Brighton funk ambassadors.

Send your music and news to Jeff Hemmings, Music Editor, Latest 7, Unit 1, Level 5, New England House, New England Street, Brighton BN1 4GH. Listen to Jeff and guests from the Latest magazine stable on the Latest Soup show on Radio Reverb, Mon–Fri, 46pm, 97.2FM or via www.radioreverb.com

latest 7 on the radio Tune into Radio Reverb 97.2FM Mon-Fri, 4-6pm, for the latest music, art, culture, politics, community and entertainment news, with Jeff Hemmings and guests.

If you would like your event listed please email listings@thelatest.co.uk

THE MONTH AHEAD Tom McRae Highly regarded singer songwriter who is rightfully recognised for his intelligent song craft and beguiling vocals. His new album King of Cards has just been released, and is another superb collection of heartfelt lyrics (based around the theme of escape, identity and disappearance) and memorable melodies. Part of the initial wave of singer songwriters that sprang up at the end of the last century, his previous three albums, including the Mercury Music prize nominated debut Tom McRae, have all been highly acclaimed.

Tues 5 June, Concorde 2, Brighton, 01273 673311

Manic Street Preachers Back in the pre-New Wave of New Wave days (for those who don’t remember, it was a thankfully short-lived movement of glam obsessed new wave bands in the early 1990s) there was a Welsh punk band who combined politicised lyrics and actions with a punk rock aesthetic infused with a touch of rock glam. Catching the imagination in a time of hedonistic Madchester (no bad thing) and the self-loathing shoegazing (almost invariably risible) movement the band quickly collected a rabid following who lapped up their sophisticated media manipulation techniques, and stated desire to sell out and get out quickly. Of course, history has not been so kind to the Manics – they persist, and will be remembered as the band that hammered the last nail in the coffin of rock’n’roll as rebellion. Send Away The Tigers is their new album.

Wed 6 June, Dome, 01273 709709

NOWBOOKING Tom McRae 5 June, Concorde 2 Manic Street Preachers 6 June, Brighton Dome Gary Moore 9 June, Brighton Dome CocoRosie 12 June, Komedia, Brighton Allen Toussaint 15 June, Brighton Dome Terry Reid 17 June, Komedia, Brighton Tiny Dancers 17 June, Barfly at Brighton Gloucester INXS 17 June, Brighton Dome Devo 18 June, Brighton Dome Ronan Keating 21 June, Stanmer Park Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark 22 June, Brighton Dome Jools Holland & Lulu 23 June, Borde Hill Garden, Haywards Heath Royal Philharmonic 24 June, Stanmer Park Blackmore’s Night 23 June, Brighton Dome Rufus Wainwright 24 June, Brighton Dome Suzanne Vega 2 July, Brighton Dome

Damien Rice 14 July, Brighton Dome The Be Good Tanyas 24 July, St George’s Church Loop 18 August, Victoria Gardens James Last Orchestra 22 September, Brighton Centre Natasha Bedingfield 26 September, Brighton Dome Show of Hands, 14 Oct, Komedia Don McLean 23 Oct, Brighton Centre Ian Hunter, 30 Oct, Komedia Dio, lommi, Butler and Appice 11 Nov, Brighton Centre Alice Cooper + Motorhead 13 Nov, Brighton Centre UB40 24 Nov, Brighton Centre Beverley Knight 24 Nov, Brighton Dome Babyshambles 25 Nov, Brighton Centre Status Quo 13 Dec, Brighton Centre From The Jam 21 Dec, Brighton Centre

latest 7 27

028_LS323_RR/Molly

5/24/07

1:54 PM

Page 2

RADIOREVERB

Foxy Mamma Malone Malone might be feeling rough but baby wants to flick through mum’s old records

97.2FM

latest soup Brighton’s favourite magazine dishes up a tasty broth of chat, music and interviews Hosted by Latest 7’s music commander Jeff Hemmings with new tunes, old classics and hot local talent. Tune in Monday to Friday 4–6pm

every Monday 4–6pm...

Latest 7 funny girl Vicky Nangle has a giggle with guests from the comedy circuit every Tuesday 4–6pm....

Latest Art’s Colette Meacher gets stuck into the arts scene every Wednesday 4–6pm...

Latest Sounds with top live guests every Thursday 4–6pm...

From Arnie to art house, Craig Driver and guests catch up with the latest talk on the big screen

I’m ill. The baby is sitting up pulling out all of my record collection – luckily that shelf is mostly records from my childhood, such as Five Star. She is currently dribbling all over a Richard Pryor album that I didn’t even know I owned. It wouldn’t matter if it was a prized rare Jazzman 7-inch, my head feels like it has been under the wheels of a bus. I can’t move. My head is stuffed up, my throat is sore and I have a stye – I look like one of Liam Gallagher’s ex-wives, blonde and rough.

The baby is chewing on my record bag. I should really stop her but, hey, maybe it’s helping her teeth pierce through the gum… No one tells you the teeth take ages to grow out once they first appear. I thought the appearing through the gum was the tedious bit, but it’s been three weeks and still one tooth is only halfway out. It looks like she has a bit of cottage cheese permantly stuck in her mouth. She just put her fingers in the VHS player. I said “no” in a firm voice but no, instead she laughs and giggles so cutely and says something like “gugggugg”, obviously delighted to have got any response from me this morning at all. OK now she has my Stone Roses EP out… I’ve gotta get up and put the records back.

Oh, by the way, the baby is standing and crawling! It all happened in about two days, she went from a sitting baby at eight months to this moving, independent child. I was trying to write an article in a mad rush, ignoring her giggling. I looked up to see what was delighting her so much and there she was, holding onto the side of my record box, smiling and looking so proud of herself. See! Working does not go with mothering. I almost missed out on her first standing! Well that’s it now, the game is up, as my dad said. I now have to have eyes in the back of my head.

“I have a sore throat and a stye – I look like one of Liam Gallagher’s ex-wives, blonde and rough” No more just leaving stuff on the coffee table, such as cups of tea or important bills, they are now quite grabbable by the baby and highly desired objects. Anything she has not seen before is a highly desired object. If I put her Early Learning Centre £20 toy on the table next to a wooden spoon she’d go all guns out to get the spoon if she hadn’t seen or chewed on it before.

The crawling is funny, it’s not quite how I imagined. It’s very slow and she stops every foot to sit up and look around the room, probably looking for snipers and checking her ammo. Satisfied, she continues until her object of desire is within reach and no futon sofa bed or amount of cushions will get in her way – she will have that wooden spoon!

Wish she’d do something useful like put the kettle on and make me a Lemsip…

For comments and chit chat email editorial@thelatest.co.uk

and every Friday 4–6pm...

Join Latest Homes’ resident fat boy Andrew Kay with his extra special guests from the worlds of theatre, food and drink Listen live at radioreverb.com or get in touch by emailing studio@radioreverb.com 28 latest 7

Crossword solutions Solution to Cryptic 94 ACROSS: 1 & 9 Night on the tiles 8 Thirsty 10 Outsider 11 Epee 13 Ballad 15 Stress 17 Dope 18 Epilogue 21 Union 22 Eminent 23 Gastronome.

DOWN: 2 Idiot 3 Hospital 4 Oxygen 5 Ta-ta 6 Eclipse 7 Assessment 8 Troubadour 12 Stallion 14 Lapwing 16 Appear 19 Gleam 20 Onus.

Solution to Quick 94 ACROSS: 1 Sweetbread 8 Obscene 9 Dusty 10 Ideality 11 Colt 13 Impose 15 Slalom 17 Andy 18 Calamine 21 Elite 22 Tripods 23 Gentleness DOWN: 2 Waste 3 Eyeglass 4 Breath 5 Ends 6 Despoil 7 Systemless 8 Originated 12 Alsatian 14 Padding 16 Pastel 19 Icons 20 Bean © Crossword Shop

For coverage in this magazine email editorial@thelatest.co.uk

031_LS323_barsbarreview/clubs

5/24/07

12:41 PM

Page 3

BARS &CLUBS

THIS WEEK AND THE MONTH AHEAD Hospital Records hits Audio: the NHS mixed wards crisis was worse than originally thought

★ Latest 7 takes in the view at The Park View A stone’s throw from Preston Park, the somewhat misnomered Park View – the view now obscured by a pretty church and Victorian housing – is a great watering hole to refresh after the vigours of physical exercise in the park… or to rehydrate after a sunbathing session.

With a huge timber-raised garden lush with plants and trees, you would be forgiven for thinking that its name refers to your surroundings rather than Preston Park itself. Inside, the rich chocolate brown décor with exposed brickwork lends an opulent, yet modern extension to the gardens. The already excellent and extensive contemporary European menu has been improved with the arrival of new head and second chefs, and with both expected and unusual lagers and beers, this is more than your standard boozer. Intelligent music is played at a sensible volume while you sup, and the art, by local artists, pays homage to Battle of the Planets and Transformers and lends an air of reminiscence to proceedings. There is regular live music, salsa classes on Wednesday evenings, Tuesday is quiz night and Thursday’s the night of the sock monkeys.

Keep an eye out too as it regularly holds barbecues and events such as beer and cider festivals during the summer months. The Park View – a stylish pub for a sensible crowd.

Llewellyn Zybrnowski The Park View, 71 Preston Drove, Brighton, BN1 6LD, 01273 544121

Hospitality @ Audio All hail Hospital Records – one of the few independent labels that has helped drag drum and bass out of its current ‘one-louder, one-faster’ rut.

Tonight label boss London Elecktricity heads a line-up with féted newcomer Nu:Tone and dependable D‘n’B don Logistics, with MCs Stapleton and ID providing the babbly bits between the beats.

For a taste of what Brighton is in for, sign up for the always entertaining Hospital podcast at www.hospitalrecords.com, where various guests argue about the state of jungle, in between demos and the odd bootyshaking tune.

Audio, 10 Marine Parade, Friday 1 June, 11pm-4am, £8/£6 before 11.30, £10 after

Pussycat Club @ The Zap Now on the verge of the terrible teens, Brighton’s legendary Pussycat Club prepares to blow out the candles on its 12th birthday cake with help from the Audio Pimps, Nippa and Alex Outram. The dress code is pink and black – so prepare to glam up in your flounciest clubbing finery for an evening of saucy house and electro with the regular top-notch Pussycat production values.

The Zap, 189–192 Kings Road Arches, Saturday 2 June, 10.30pm–5am, £12/£10

The Do @ Core Club Annoyed that even the crustiest ex-funky house DJs are now slipping The Gossip into their sets and pretending to go all rock ‘n’ roll? This lot should be, they were playing The Fall records to Day-Glo kids centuries before it became clubbing law. Triumphantly returning to the fray for summer, The Do are ready to rock Brighton to its very foundations with a bleeding edge mix of proper indie and basement noise you can actually dance to.

Rejoice children – the second coming of DIY decadence is at hand.

Core Club, 12–15 Kings Road, Friday 1 June, £6/£5, 11pm–3am.

Zero Culture @ Concorde 2 Yet another birthday this week, as underground types Zero Culture present the cream of Brighton beats, including Mr Natural bashing out his unique brand of junglizm in the main room alongside guests EZ Rollers and Lo Fidelity Allstars. Elsewhere dance pioneers Unique 3 party like it’s 1987. Why not break out your Altern-8 remixes and join them?

Concorde 2, Madeira Drive, Saturday 2 June, £5 in advance 11pm–4am

For bar/club listings see our day-to-day guide starting on page 37 latest 7 29

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GAY

News

CHOICE Tue 29 May Queen’s Arms 2.30–11.30pm. Food, wi-fi access and happy hour till 7pm. New – Crooners Lounge. Piano bar with complimentary sandwiches

3SIXTY goes pink for Stonewall

Wed 30 May

Don’t forget! 3SIXTY is partnering up with The Pink Paradiso on Tuesday 12 June to hold a fundraiser for gay-equality organisation Stonewall. The benefit night will feature a cabaret line-up of old favourites as well as new faces in a show offering song, camp sketches and the odd crooner. Miss Jason is back, joined by Lady James and Mark Inscoe, who played Dean Martin in the West End musical The Rat Pack. 3SIXTY is proud to be supporting the show and the organisers have kindly agreed to donate £5 from all of the ticket money to Stonewall. The money will go to help fund the charity’s Education For All programme to stop homophobic bullying in schools. Tickets are £17 per person, or for a table for ten it’s £150 and tables for six at £100. For table bookings call David at 3SIXTY on 01273 570570. Individual tickets from the Old Market box office on 01273 736222.

R-bar Noon–2am. Go Double Baby! From 5pm, any double just £1 extra.

5–9pm happy hour.

Old dogs, new tricks?

This year’s Pride Dog Show, in association with Coastway Veterinary Group and Denes Natural Pet Care, will take place on Sunday 8 July from 1pm at Hove Rugby Club, Old Shoreham Rd, Hove from noon. Show off your pooch. See www.brightonpride.org for more information.

Pubs & bars Amsterdam, 11 Marine Parade Bar, hotel, sauna and popular summer terrace. Food available every day. 01273 688825 www.amsterdam.uk.com Aquarium, 6 Steine Street Traditional back-street boozer.

01273 605525 www.pleisure.com Barley Mow, 92 St George’s Road Mixed and friendly local in Kemp Town serving good food.

Nice outside terrace too.

01273 682259 Brighton Rocks, 6 Rock Place Fabulously stylish bar and restaurant with outside decking. 01273 601139 Bulldog, 31 St James’s Street Landmark gay pub for 25 years.

Entertainment, happy hours.

01273 694097 www.bulldogbrighton.com Charles Street, 8 Marine Parade Huge, swish café/bar serving food. Outside terrace. Open till 3am Fri/Sat. 01273 624091 www.charlesstreetbar.com Doctor Brighton’s 16–17 Kings Road Popular pub with huge selection of vodkas.

01273 328765 www.pleisure.com Fountain Inn High Street, Handcross Gay oasis in the countryside near Gatwick and very popular.

01444 400218 www.fountainpub.co.uk Jack Horner, 80 High Street, Worthing Worthing’s only gay pub. Some themed nights. 01903 236427

30 latest 7

Legends Bar, Dance and Hotel 31-34 Marine Parade Recently reopened after a multimillion pound refit.

Marine Tavern, 13 Broad Street Cosy, traditional and friendly boozer with real beer.

01273 681284 www.marinetavern.co.uk Marlborough, 4 Princes Street Large pub popular with the girls, with a great theatre upstairs.

01273 570028 www.marlboroughtheatre.co.uk PV, 22 Upper North Street Great mixed pub with cool interior and regular live music.

01273 325491 www.thepv.co.uk Queen’s Arms, 7 George Street Opens 3pm daily. Top acts every night. 01273 696873 www.queensarmsbrighton.com R-Bar, 7 Marine Parade Open till 2am, Sun–Thu; 24 hours, Fri–Sun. 01273 608133 www.revenge.co.uk Revue Bar, 19 New Steine Stylish bar, friendly atmosphere.

01273 607456 Star Inn, 5–9 Manchester Street Traditional-style pub in Kemp Town for bears, with quiz on Thu. Extensive lunch and dinner menu every day, plus great Sunday roasts. 01273 601450 Vavoom, 31 Old Steine Video bar, right next door to Revenge. 01273 603010 www.vavoom.co.uk White Horse, 30 Camelford St Friendly mixed local.

01273 603726 The Zone, 33 St James’s Street Bar promising something different for Brighton’s drinkers.

01273 626442

Thu 31 May Charles Street Club 10.30pm–3am. Religion.

Hosted by Mother Superior Joan Bond with DJs Richard Jones & Tony B on the decks. £5/£4 flyer/£3 NUS.

Fri 1 June Revenge 10.30pm–5am. Lollipop vs

Kinky Dangerous. DJ Dulcie Danger banging away upstairs with the fabulous Lollipop Girls hosting downstairs. £5 before 11, £7 after.

Sat 2 June HQ 9pm–4am. 10.30pm: Glam and Glitz on stage. Free before 11pm/£5 after.

Sun 3 June Audio – Sunday Sundae 6pm–11pm. Sunday Sundae has returned for a summer of sexy sizzling fun! £2 before 7pm, £3 before 8pm, £5 after

Mon 4 June Marlborough 12pm–12am. Student night social from 6pm. Games, pool and tunes.

School sued over gay kiss The grandfather of a 12-year-old girl is suing the Chicago Board of Education for showing Brokeback Mountain to her. Kenneth Richardson claims his granddaughter was traumatised by seeing a gay relationship. He is seeking $500,000 in damages.

To comment on these stories

please email editorial@thelatest.co.uk

Clubs Audio Hosts Sunday Sundae 10 Marine Parade Weekly chill out with occasional specials and drink promos.

01273 606906 Candy Bar, 129 St James’s Street UK’s only lesbian nightclub, till 3am, Fri/Sat. 01273 622424 www.thecandybar.co.uk Charles Street Club, 8 Marine Parade Sleek club above Charles Street Bar. Nightly promoters.

10pm–2am, 01273 624091 HQ, 43 Providence Place Bar/nightclub, cabaret/strippers, Fri/Sat nights. 9pm–4am, Fri/Sat. 01273 620630 www.hq-brighton.co.uk Monkey, Brighton Gloucester, 27 Gloucester Place Every Saturday night. www.wildfruit.co.uk 01273 688011 Revenge, 32 Old Steine Huge two-floor club.

10pm–3am, Sun–Thu till 5am Fri and Sat till 6am. www.revenge.co.uk Therapy @ Rehab Waterfront, Brighton Marina A weekly gay night at Brighton Marina, every Friday. A lovely, stylish, big bar.

V2, 5 Steine Street Open every night from 8pm until late. 01273 603010 Wildfruit, Creation, 78 West Street Usually once a month, with themed nights. One for your calendar. www.wildfruit.co.uk

3SIXTY is Brighton’s brightest monthly gay magazine with news, interviews, features and listings for the gay scene around Brighton and Hove.

May’s edition is out now. Pick up your free copy across the city.

You can also now download a full issue at www.3sixtymag.co.uk 3SIXTY T: 01273 570570 E: info@3sixtymag.co.uk

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STAGE

Top Tamla Escape for an evening with some sweet soul music in Worthing

Union Dance has a mission to explore and express an identity through dance which reflects the growing cultural fusion of contemporary society. Heaven on Earth is a programme of work that embraces the notion of collaboration on a creative level with the intention of conveying peace with integrity. The creative theme driving this project focuses on finding our place in the world; a space to believe in, bringing comfort and strength.

Heaven on Earth expresses a state of being connected to time and the world, of belonging to the here and now. Through exploring shared experience, emotion and human spirit, this production proposes that

all of us can enjoy heaven on earth. No answers will be given but an evocation of emotions that touch the senses, and an experience shared with the audience based on the philosophy of pleasure.

The project consists of two choreographies, one created by French choreographer Tayeb Benamara and the other by Michael Joseph of Union Dance.

Visual images, Afro-European music and Hip hop influences will meet to create a breathtaking yet emotive context.

Heaven on Earth, Thursday 21 June at 7.30pm The Hawth Theatre, Hawth Avenue, Crawley. Call 01293 553636 or see www.hawth.co.uk Tickets priced £12.50, Discounts £9.50, Schools £7.50

All cultured out after the Brighton Festival? Then why not celebrate the vocal talents of The Four Tops and The Temptations with this slick recreation of the Motown era that brings together all your favourite hits in a high voltage and high energy production. With tributes to many other legendary artists, Ben E King, Smokey Robinson and Marvin Gaye to name but a few, this show is crammed full of all-time classics, fancy footwork and outstanding choreography. Backed by The Peter Brent Orchestra, an eight-piece band including a fourpiece horn section, this superb show will get you up and in the aisles while the night is still young.

Some of America’s greatest vocalists of the 1960s signed to Tamla Records in that decade, and epitomised the Motown sound. Started in Detroit, the label enabled the music of many underprivileged black Americans to enter the predominantly white charts, and artists such as The Temptations and The Four Tops took it to new heights.

Tamla Records was started with just $800 and in the mid-1960s record sales rocketed and Motown was in its element.

Come and listen to the music we all know and love, in a show guaranteed to have up you in the aisles, clapping, singing and most definitely dancing. Now in its fifth successive year, this promises to be an outstanding action-packed evening, a night that will be long remembered.

Get ready ‘cause here they come…

Worthing Pavilion Theatre, Friday 15 June, 7.45pm Call 01903 206206 or see www.worthingtheatres.co.uk. Tickets: £16/£14.50

Waltz time

including Al Weaver (Coram Boy, National Theatre) as Gaston and Catherine Russell (Talking to Terrorists, Out of Joint) as Ghislaine. Bowles last appeared at Chichester Festival Theatre in Pygmalion in 1994 and most recently appeared alongside Judi Dench in Hay Fever at the Haymarket Theatre. His numerous London theatre credits include The Old Masters, The Misanthrope and Gangster No 1.

Maggie Steed appeared as Mrs Lintott in The History Boys at the National Theatre and on tour. Other theatre credits include Lady Bracknell in The Importance Of Being Earnest at Oxford Playhouse, Felicity in Relative Values at Salisbury Playhouse and Lavinia Penniman in The Heiress at the National Theatre.

Associate Director at Chichester Festival Theatre, Angus Jackson directs this production. Jackson directed Festival 06’s full scale musical, Carousel in the Festival Theatre and August Strindberg’s The Father in the Minerva Theatre. Jackson was BAFTA nominated for the TV version of his pioneering production of Elmina’s Kitchen at The National Theatre.

Ranjit Bolt’s work includes Le Cid and Tartuffe at the National Theatre, The Venetian Twins at the Royal Shakespeare Company and The School for Wives, Lysistrata and The Misanthrope for Sir Peter Hall.

Waltz Of The Toreadors opens at Chichester’s Minerva Theatre on Saturday 16 June at 7.45pm, running in repertoire with Macbeth until 4 August. Call the Box Office on 01243 781312 or see www.cft.org.uk. Tickets priced £25/£19

Union matters Union Dance takes its vision of Heaven on Earth to the Hawth Theatre

Peter Bowles and Maggie Steed at Chichester Ranjit Bolt’s brand new adaptation of Jean Anouilh’s comic masterpiece, Waltz Of The Toreadors, opens at Chichester’s Minerva Theatre on 16 June.

Peter Bowles plays General Saint Pé, the once-debonair lieutenant now desperately clinging to his youth. Twenty years ago the orchestra played the romantic ‘Waltz of the Toreadors’ and the General first set eyes on the beautiful Ghislaine. Years have passed and now, portly and past it, with a hypochondriac wife (Maggie Steed) and two rather unattractive daughters, the General’s former paramour, Ghislaine, surprisingly reappears wanting to revive their past relationship. But the General now finds himself competing for Ghislaine’s affections with his young amanuensis, Gaston.

Peter Bowles heads up a cast of eleven,

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STAGE

THEATRE LISTINGS

From Tuesday 29 to Monday 25 June 2007 THE BARN THEATRE, SOUTHWICK

EASTBOURNE: CONGRESS THEATRE

01273 597094 The Last Meeting The 50th anniversary of John Dighton’s hilarious and heart-warming play that was also made into a film.

•Wed 6–Sat 9 June, 7.45pm, £8/£7.50

01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Halfway To Paradise – The Billy Fury Story Billy Fury’s own band Fury’s Tornados join Colin Gold to celebrate ten years of the hit show.

•Thu 31 May, 7.30pm, £16.50 Voulez Vous Recreating the magic Abba for over 15 years, Voulez Vous hit the stage in Eastbourne with all the best-loved Abba hits.

•Sat 2 June, 7.30pm, £10 Derren Brown All-new stage show with the Olivier award winner Brown, blending psychology, illusion and showmanship.

•Sat 9 June, 7.30pm, £21.50/£19.50 Joseph And The Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat The biblical story of Joseph, his 11 brothers and the coat of many colours. Non-stop action, music and dance.

•Mon 18–Sat 23 June, 7.30pm Mon, 2.30pm & 7.30pm Tues–Thurs, 5pm & 8pm Fri, 2pm, 5pm & 8pm Sat, £11–£24.50

BRIGHTON DOME 01273 709709 www.brightondome.org The Last Meeting Trapeze, song, dance and musical theatre tell a funny and moving account of leaving home for a new life in a foreign land.

•Thu 14 June, 8pm, £6/£3 Watercolours The story of Charlie, a young boy, and a photojournalist called Cressida who lives in the attic, who confront their anxieties together and build a friendship. Ages 5–8.

•Sat 16 June, 11am, £6 African Snow The poignant and gripping story of two men drawn into the slave trade, who later gave the world the hymn Amazing Grace.

•Tue 19–Sat 23 June, 7.30pm, Wed and Sat mat 2.30pm, £15/£10 NT Connections Over four nights, eight school and youth theatres perform some of the finest new work for young people.

•Thu 21–Sat 23 June, 7pm, £7/£6

THE CAPITOL, HORSHAM 01403 750220 www.thecapitolhorsham.com Truman Capote Talk Show Bob Kingdom's portrayal as the tortured, adorable and wicked writer of Breakfast At Tiffany's.

•Wed 30 May, please call for show times and prices Beyond The Barricade Leading theatre musical concert now in its 8th year.

•Fri 1 June, please call for show times and prices Cash On Delivery Ian Dickens Productions presents a comical farce about a man who’s pocketed thousands through fraudulent DSS claims.

•Thu 7–Fri 8 June, please call for show times and prices Clownderella Clowning around, colourful costumes, tunes from Rossini's opera, puppetry and dance. Suitable for 4–8 year olds.

•Sat 16 June, please call for show times and prices That’s Entertainment The debut show from the Forest Amateur Musical Entertainers.

•Fri 22–Sat 23 June, please call for show times and prices

CHICHESTER FESTIVAL THEATRE 01243 781312 www.cft.org.uk Babes In Arms Songs by Rodgers and Hart, one of Broadway’s finest partnerships, including ‘The Lady is a Tramp’ •Tue 29 May–Mon 2 July, please call for show times, £10–£35 Macbeth Patrick Stewart stars in one of Shakespeare’s most fear-filled tragedies.

•Tue 29 May–Sat 1 Sept, please call for show times and prices The Waltz Of The Toreadors Ranjit Bolt’s new translation of Jean Anouilh’s comic masterpiece – a bitter-sweet farce.

•Sat 16 June–Sat 4 Aug, please call for show times and prices

THE HAWTH, CRAWLEY 01293 553636 www.hawth.co.uk CYT Show Crawley Youth Theatre presents a play about kids on a school trip to Alton Towers – with an unexpected twist on their journey.

•Tue 12–Wed 13 June, please call for times and prices Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein New adaptation of Mary Shelley's classic novel. Frankenstein is now Victor, an ambitious young philosophy student who gives life to inanimate material.

•Sat 16 June, please call for show times and prices.

32 latest 7

EASTBOURNE: DEVONSHIRE PARK THEATRE 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Thoroughly Modern Millie Musical theatre set in 1922’s New York. Millie moves to the city to start a new life for herself.

•Tue 29 May–Sat 2 June, 7.30pm, mats Wed 30 May & Sat 2 June 2.30pm, £12/£10 Sam And I Enter the world of Samuel Pepys – his world – his women. Gossip, horrors and the Fire of London.

•Mon 11 June, 7.45pm, £12 Dylan Thomas: Return Journey presented

by Richard Jordan The 21st anniversary (and farewell) tour of the one-man show starring Bob Kingdom as Dylan Thomas.

•Tue 12–Wed 13 June, 7.45pm Tue, 2.30pm Wed, £12 Truman Capote Talk Show The farewell tour with Bob Kingdom as the adorable and wicked writer of Breakfast At Tiffany’s.

•Wed 13 June, 7.45pm, £12.50 Hanging Hooke A look at the 17th century genius Robert Hooke, loathed by Isaac Newton Halfway To Paradise – The Billy Fury Story, Congress Theatre, Eastbourne, Thu 31 May, 7.30pm

and loved by Christopher Wren.

•Thu 14 June, 7.45pm, £12 David Bradley in The Quiz A new play about stage production – you remember your lines and you’re ok, but what if you’ve had a few too many sherries and your stage manager is AWOL? •Sat 16–Sun 17 June, 2.30 and 7.45pm, (2.30pm Sun) £12 Flanders And Swann: At The Drop Of A Hippopotamus Wonderful songs including ‘The Hippopotamus Song’, ‘The Gas Man Cometh’, ‘The Gnu Song’, combined with witty and satirical humour.

•Sun 17 June, 7.30pm, £15 Deadlock Darkly funny psychological thriller about a man who seems to have everything going for him, but all is not as it seems.

•Mon 18–Sat 23 June, 7.45pm, mat Wed and Sat 2.30pm, £13.50–£19.50

01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Unforgettable; The Nat King Cole Story Tribute to Nat King Cole, with greatest hits including 'When I Fall In Love' & 'Unforgettable.'

•Sat 16 June, 8pm, £15/£14

slave girl, Aida, and the Egyptian hero, Radames opera.

•Tue 29 May–Sat 2 June, 7.30pm plus 2pm Sat, £14.50–£30 Tosca Puccini’s Tosca – a story of love, torture and treachery set against the backdrop of Rome at its bloodiest.

•Thu 31 May–Fri 1 June, 7.30pm plus 2pm Thu, £12.50–£30 Boogie Nights The 10th birthday of the smash hit 1970s musical on stage.

•Mon 4–Sat 9 June, 7.45pm Mon–Wed, 5.30pm and 8.30pm Fri & Sat, £9 Blonde Bombshells A sparkling musical comedy, The Blonde Bombshells Of 1943 features classics by Ella Fitzgerald and more.

•Mon 11–Sat 16 June, 7.45pm Mon–Wed, 7.45pm, plus 2.30pm Thu & Sat, £15–£24 High Society Cole Porter’s classic champagnefuelled musical blending romance and humour.

•Mon 18–Sat 23 June, 7.45pm, plus 2.30pm Thu & Sat., £17–£27 The Unexpected Guest Agatha Christie’s mischievous whodunnit about a man who seeks refuge only to stumble across a murder.

•Mon 25–Sat 30 June, 7.45pm, plus 2.30pm Thu & Sat., £12–£24

MARLBOROUGH THEATRE, BRIGHTON

THE SHOREHAM CENTRE

07782 278521 www.marlboroughtheatre.co.uk Spirit Of Gravity Electric performances with Brighton’s foremost Electronica collective.

•Tue 29 May, 8pm, £4/£3 First Eleven New comedy following the trials and tribulations of the village cricket team, who win a compeittion and wind up playing Australia on their local green.

•Thu 21–Sat 23 June, 8pm, £6/£5

01273 591933.

Fawlty Towers Adur Theatre Company presents three episodes – ‘Communication Problems’, ‘The Hotel Inspectors’ and ‘A Touch Of Class’ from the hit TV series Fawlty Towers.

•Wed 30 May–Sat 2 June, 7pm, please call for prices

EASTBOURNE: ROYAL HIPPODROME

NEW VENTURE THEATRE, BRIGHTON 01273 746118 www.newventure.org.uk Splendour Abi Morgan’s fourth play exploring decadence, desire and dictatorship as four women talk in a stately home while snow falls outside and civil war looms.

•Sat 23–Sat 30 June, please call for show times and prices

WORTHING: CONNAUGHT THEATRE 01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk Dangerous Corner Ian Dickens Productions presents JB Priestley's classic drama about Robert Caplan who insists on uncovering the truth about his brother Martin's 'suicide'.

•Tue 5–Sat 9 June, 7.30pm and 2.30pm mat Wed and Sat, please call for prices Nicola Miles Theatre Studio Present: Random A showcase of ballet, contemporary, jazz, tap and performing arts.

•Sun 17 June, 2.30pm and 7pm, £11/£10/£8

THEATRE ROYAL, BRIGHTON 08700 606650 www.theambassadors.com/theatreroyal Aida The magnificent story of war, jealousy and revenge – the doomed love of the beautiful

WORTHING: PAVILION THEATRE 01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk Humpty Dumpty And The Incredibly Daring Rescue Of The Alien Princess In Deep Space Half-term fun for kids in the show with one of the longest titles! Gags, laughs and audience participation.

•Tue 29 May, 2pm, £7.50 The Tale Of Little Red Riding Hood Half-term special telling the classic story of Little Red Riding Hood, her Grandma and the wolf. New scenery plus an ultra-violet woodland sequence.

•Thu 31 May, 2pm, £7.50 That’ll Be The Day A feel-good party atmosphere with over 100 songs featuring hits from the 50s. 60s and 70s Rock’n’Roll era.

•Sun 3 June, 7.45pm, £17–£19 The Secret Land Beneath The Sea The tale of Admiral Gull’s daughter who disguises herself as a cabin boy and runs away to sea. An original story staged as a dance production.

•Sat 9–Sun 10 June, 7pm, plus 2.30pm Sun, £11/£8 The Billie Holiday Story Stage show, with Rain Pryor, daughter of the legendary black comedian Richard Pryor, portraying Billie Holiday. Starring alongside her is Louis Emerick, also known as Mick Johnson from Brookside.

•Mon 11–Wed 13 June, 7.45pm, plus 2.30pm Wed, £16/£14.50, £12.50 matinee The Motown Show Slick and high-energy stage show, recreating the 60s and 70s Motown era, celebrating The Four Tops and The Temptations.

•Fri 15 June, 7.45pm, £16/£14.50 Tony Stockwell, TV’s Psychic Detective Tony’s extraordinary psychic abilities and often humorous communication with the two worlds provide an entertaining and emotional evening.

•Mon 18 June, 7.30pm, £17.50 The Cross And The Switchblade Saltmine Theatre Company reveals 1950s New York – a city of gangs, drugs and violence where only the toughest survive.

•Tue 19 June, 7.45pm, £10/£7.50

If you would like your event listed please email listings@thelatest.co.uk

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KIDS

Got to be joking

EVENTS

THIS WEEK’S PREVIEWS

Zara Friend discovers a hilarious new competition at Komedia, with a holiday prize for all the family Komedia, the popular entertainment venue in Brighton (and home to the Krater comedy club) are running a fantastic competition for kids, with a superb prize. Award-winning Neilson Holidays, renowned for their entertaining and active getaways, have joined forces with Komedia to offer a holiday for the entire family!

So, how can you win this great prize? Easy. Your kids have to tell the Komedia crew a joke. Simple as that! Send your child’s funny line to them and you can be in with a chance of winning.

If your child is stuck for ideas, tell them to think of things they’ve seen or heard. It’s great if the joke’s about them. Keep in mind that some words, animals or situations are funnier than others. Tell them to try things out on family members and see what tickles their funny bones. They may annoy you in the process, but if you win the top prize getaway, they’ll soon be forgiven!

The competition is open to anyone under the age of 11. Komedia only want the children’s input, so grown-ups should resist sticking their oars in!

Neilson holidays are Brighton-based and offer fun-packed adventures to suit all ages. Older kids and adults enjoy sailing and mountain biking and there are kids’ clubs and crèches for youngsters. All their holiday activities are supervised, meaning mums and dads are free to relax if they choose.

Send your imaginative joke to kidscomp@komedia.co.uk or on the back of a postcard to ‘Joke Competition’, Komedia, 44 Gardner Street, Brighton, BN1 1UN. Closing date for entries is 31 July 2007. Open to children under 11.

Classic Car Event Over 300 classic automobiles will congregate at historic Borde Hill Garden this Sunday 3 June. Attracting car enthusiasts from all walks of life, the event will feature a stunning display of vehicles dating from the 1930s to the present day.

Over 100 classic cars from the MG Car Club South East Centre and the East Sussex MG Owners Club will be displayed, as a new attraction for 2007. The Lamborghini Club UK will show a selection that will demonstrate the passion of Ferruccio Lamborghini and those who followed him in creating some of the world’s most evocative cars.

Vehicles will arrive from 10am and will be on view at various specially selected areas of the garden. Over 100 Porsches will take their marks overlooking the Ouse valley and the Rolls-Royce and Bentley motor cars will park up on the South Lawn, framed by the magnificent backdrop of Borde Hill House with views over the parkland.

This is a unique chance to view great vehicles and network with likeminded enthusiasts, while enjoying the truly beautiful gardens.

Borde Hill Gardens, Sunday 3 June, 10am–4pm, admission for the event and garden is £6.50 adults, £5.50 senior citizens/groups and £3.50 children.

The Big Culture Show 2007

To feature in Kids, email editorial@thelatest.co.uk

To advertise here to over 100,000 people Call our sales team on

01273 818150 and find out how effective and inexpensive it is to promote your business

If you would like your event listed please email listings@thelatest.co.uk

Brighton Festival may be over but things in Mid Sussex are hotting up this week as The Big Culture Show 2007 takes place in Haywards Heath. Starting this Thursday 31 May, events take place over three days, with an array of stars including legends Chas And Dave, Bob The Builder and Brit-nominated rock band The Feeling all set to appear.

There will be Futsal (small sided football), Capoeira (Brazilian martial art) and breakdancing. DJs and local bands will provide entertainment and a stunning fireworks spectacle will end the day. The event celebrates the best in music, theatre, arts, food, poetry, sports and of course, Sussex heritage. At The Big Culture Show, there really is something for all ages.

The Big Culture Show 2007, Victoria Park, Haywards Heath. For the full line-up visit www.thebigcultureshow.co.uk, tickets cost £10–£20, toddlers go free.

UPCOMING HIGHLIGHT Practical Tools For Writers For all budding and accomplished writers alike, join author and creativity coach AnnA Rushton for tips and advice with your own writing at the Brighton Writers’ Centre on Saturday 9 June.

AnnA uses the well-tested GROW model, a practical framework that will help you whether you are beginning a writing project, are stuck halfway through or just unable to finish a piece.

Participants will learn how to structure their time, stay motivated and overcome creative blocks that are holding them back. In this three-hour session, writers will gain invaluable advice and guidance to keep their writing – whether as a hobby or career – moving forward.

Brighton Writers’ Centre, 49 Grand Parade, Brighton, Saturday 9 June, 10am–1pm, £15/£14 Zara Friend latest 7 33

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ART

See more at latest-art.co.uk highly collectable artist, whose influences range from the urban to Goya and Redon. Until 17 June Mixed Show painting, photography and limited edition signed prints by artists such as Brian Jones, Takashi Murakami, Bridget Riley and Marcos Torres. Until 17 June, Tue–Fri 10am–5.30pm, Sat 10am–6pm, Sun 12am–5pm

JENNIE RICKETTS GALLERY 8 Arundel Mews, Arundel Place, Brighton 01273 232921 Beatrice Haverich Photographs of trees from the book The Whisper Of A Million Leaves by Brighton-based Haverich, which highlights the resilience of trees despite some immense environmental challenges. Until 31 May, Tue–Fri 11am–6pm, Sat 12–6pm

PHOENIX GALLERY Waterloo Place, Brighton 01273 603700 Double Acts A celebration and mini-survey of collaborative practice in the UK today, featuring work and new commissions by Ayling and Conroy, Karin Kihlberg and Reuben Henry, The Library Of Unwritten Books and much more.

Until 9 June, Tue–Sat 11am–5pm Petrusco, North Laine Photography Gallery

Night vision Shot in complete darkness, except for the light of a mobile phone, the portrait subjects of Kevin Mason (aka Dark Daze) are denied their normal perceptions of the realities around them as they are exposed over 15-30 seconds for each image. An uneasy dialogue between subject and photographer develops throughout the shoot with the phone just a small patch of light amidst the pitch black.

Mason explains thus: “Essentially, the people I shoot in this way are initially disorientated by the scenario, then withdraw into themselves at the oddity of the situation. Finally, I aim to capture them still somewhat uncomfortable, as they inevitably will be, but relaxed enough that an inner personality is captured. Fundamentally they are in a different state of self awareness. One that I hope the final images convey.” The Saatchi Gallery thinks so, and one of Mason’s pictures has been sent up to London to be exhibited.

Dark Daze: Portraits Lit By A Mobile Phone, Blanch House, 17 Atlingworth Street, until 11 June

ART LISTINGS BLANCH HOUSE

CRANE KALMAN, BRIGHTON

17 Atlingworth Street, Brighton 01273 603504 Dark Daze Kevin Mason, well-known music photographer and writer (who covers the UK graffiti scene for New York based Graphotism magazine) turns his hand to an exhibition of portraits shot in almost complete darkness, thereby denying the subjects any normal perceptions of reality. Until 11 June, Mon–Sun 11am–late

Kensington Gardens, Brighton 01273 697096 Mary McCartney A photographic study of the Royal ballet after hours. Until 17 June, Mon–Sat 10am–6pm, Sun 10.30am–4.30pm

BRIGHTON MUSEUM AND ART GALLERY Church Street, Brighton 01273 290200 Rogues Gallery: Images Of Crime And Punishment Display of popular prints featuring notorious crimes and punishments, mainly from the 18th and 19th centuries, including enemies of the state, and real-life murderers. Until 30 Sept Nicholas Sinclair – Six Public Telephones Six dramatic photographs taken in a subway station in Budapest by a local photographer.

Until 5 Aug Stagestruck! 200 years of the Theatre Royal by way of vintage prints and photographs, costumes and props, and reconstructions of ‘special effects’ of the 19th century stage. Until 2 September, Tues 10am–7pm, Wed–Sat 10am–5pm, Sun 2–5pm

CHALK GALLERY 4 North Street, Lewes 01273 474477 21 professional artists from across all media.

Featuring Edith Barton – humourous and textural 3D artist.

In The Frame With featured artist Phyllis Hall – colour-driven paintings based on landscape and creative forces. Until 3 June, Mon–Sun 10am–5pm 34 latest 7

HOVE MUSEUM AND ART GALLERY New Church Road, Hove 01273 290200 Paper Cuts Eight artists employ paper cutting techniques to reflect on our culture and environment. Paper cutting has been used by different cultures throughout history to mark events and religious occasions, and the delicate nature of paper relates to our vulnerability, dreams and ambitions. Until 1 July Susan Edwards Unwanted books that have been transformed into paper sculptures (see above). Until 1 July, Wed–Sat 11.30am–5pm, Sun 2–5pm

INK_D 96 North Road, Brighton 01273 645299 Dan Baldwin New work by the rising star of contemporary art. Until 16 June, Mon–Sat 11am–6pm

NORTH LAINE PHOTOGRAPHY GALLERY Upstairs, Snooper’s Paradise, Kensington Gardens, Brighton 01273 686506 Petrusco Finalist in the 2006 ‘Essence Of Brighton & Hove’ competition has his first solo exhibition. Until 31 May, Mon–Sat 10.15am–5.45pm, Sun 10.15am–3.45pm

O CONTEMPORARY Trafalgar Street, Brighton 01273 698500 John Simpson Long awaited first show by this

WORTHING MUSEUM AND ART GALLERY Chapel Road, Worthing 01903 221448 Luke Dickinson Sensual stone carvings.

Until 23 Jun Tue–Sat, 10am–5pm Water, Water Everywhere 40 treasures from the museum’s stores, exploring watery themes.

Until 16 Jun, Tue–Sat 10am–5pm

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LISTINGS

YOUR COMPLETE LISTINGS GUIDE STARTS HERE

latestlistings The hottest tickets for the week ahead 29 May–4 Jun ★MUSIC★

Girls Aloud

Girls Aloud

Stupendously successful band who in effect came together by public vote via Popstars: The Rivals. The customer is, after all, always right!

Brighton Centre, Tuesday 29 May, 7.30pm, £26

★COMEDY★

Cooked Up Comedy New acts and new material are on display in this open spot show with an intimate atmosphere.

Kitchen Bar, Preston Street, Brighton, Wednesday 30 May, 8pm, free

★MUSIC★

NME New Music Tour Great line-up of diverse new talent as part of the NME New Music Tour. Headliners The Rumble Strips are an exhilarating Dexys Midnight Runners sound alike outfit, complete with trumpet and sax.

Pull Tiger Tail, The Little Ones and Brighton’s Blood Red Shoes also play.

Concorde 2, Brighton, Wednesday 30 May, 7pm, £7.50

★MUSIC★

★MUSIC★

Icelandic electro rock nutters who have been signed to Fatboy Slim’s Southern Fried label. Expect plenty of glitter, largin’ it and more havin’ it from these messy buggers.

Audio, Brighton, Friday 1 June, 7.30pm, price to be confirmed

Re-born and Bopping tour – it’s the tenth year of touring for this Marc Bolan tribute act.

Pavilion Theatre, Worthing, Saturday 2 June, 8pm, £14.50/£13.50

Trabant

T-Rextasy

T-Rextasy

Lucy Porter

★COMEDY★ Bent Double

Zoe Lyons hosts this regular gayfriendly monthly comedy night, with guests Lucy Porter, Jen Brister and Angie McEvoy.

Komedia, Brighton, Sunday 3 June, 7.30pm, £9.50/£7.50 The Rumble Strips

For venue details see page 43 latest 7 35

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5/23/07

3:05 PM

Need a music video making or a gig filmed?

Page 2

Under review We tell it like it was – a round-up of recent local shows Vic Reeves

Call Artforms Productions Ltd - The production company behind all the filming for Latest 7, Latest Homes and Latest Records.

Happy Mondays

We’re always making professional looking DVDs/music videos/ promotional films at the most affordable prices.

The joyous sense of imminent collapse may have been lost with the slick new band, but there’s still a celebratory, ‘coomin’ oop’ vibe to this show. The drugs have gone, but the 24-hour party people are back, no plastic faces, and huge smiles all round. Hallelujah!

Horatio’s Bar, Brighton Pier (part of The Great Escape), 17 May ✌✌✌✌✌

Whether you’re rock, indie, hip-hop or folk, we will create the right video for you.

All budgets catered for – from glossy MTV-style videos to filming pub gigs for your myspace page.

Billy Imrie

Ring Stef now for a quote and examples of our work.

07712 588136 or artformstef@gmail.com Richard III It’s a tale of machination and political manoeuvring, of the wishes of the many trampled over by the selfish, naked ambition of a psychopath and resulting in the spilt blood of the guilty and innocent alike. The NVT’s production of Richard III strikes a powerful chord in today’s political climate. Updated from its medieval setting to the era of ‘The War On Terror’, the parallels are striking.

In changing the ‘lesser-bred’ status of King Edward’s wife Elizabeth in Shakespeare’s original for a Muslim family, Martin Nichols’ production confronts us with Islamophobia.

Powerful performances, a showstealing turn from Rob Maloney as Richard (frighteningly like George W Bush) and perfectly paced direction – with some great devices – from Nichols made this a thoroughly enjoyable, thought-provoking experience.

New Venture Theatre, 12 May ✌✌✌✌

The loveGods

than drifting away from their core sound. Accompanied alternately by a Parisian cellist in some funky boots and local sax man Jeff, the band followed the sound they wanted, rather than sticking to something with the noisemakers they had, resulting in a truly unique yet cohesive approach that had the seated audience on their feet more than once.

Yes, they’re back here because Brighton adores a band that not only has excellent music but can also perform. As ever, the loveGods rocked the house.

Komedia, 10 May ✌✌✌✌✌ Victoria Nangle

Sèosamh Mac Curtìn

The loveGods Back from their various incarnations and self-imposed exile in their hometown of Paris, the loveGods core of Déah and Arty have returned to Brighton briefly, before recording their new album this summer. New material mixed in smoothly with old – they’re getting funkier and fresher rather

36 latest 7

bombastic ‘Reverend Black Grape’ from Ryder and co’s other incarnation.

Happy Mondays “I wrote for luck, and they sent me you.” Yes, Shaun, Bez, Rowetta and Gaz are back with their much-missed hippie-go-funky psychedelic stew. In addition to all the Happys’ staples, including ‘Kinky Afro’ and ‘Step On’, there were at least three new songs – more hypno-rock than dance trance – plus an ever-jubilant,

Vic Reeves He was an avid birdwatcher who collected birds’ eggs carefully. He always felt like an alien child. He grew up to become a factory worker and took tea with a serial killer. Later, he developed a fascination with licking people’s hair, especially those with barnets like ice cream. Who he? Why, the inimitable Vic Reeves, no less.

Reading from his cleverly titled and recently published book Me: Moir (his real name is Jim Moir), this was a cosy evening spent discussing the finer points of life, like where to purchase doilies, why club singers end every word with an ‘o’ and how “mundane things are always the most exciting”. Fabbo!

Theatre Royal Brighton, 16 May ✌✌✌✌✌ Colette Meacher

Topping & Butch A variety show of the campest order pitched its tents inside the purple cow. From the first moment the two very well-spoken gentlemen, kitted out in a mere sprinkling of rubber and leather and not much else, stepped on to the stage it was sure to be a night of good-humoured crudity and well-mannered joviality.

Involving a plethora of special guests, including Brighton’s own Zoe Lyons taking her Cherie Blair impersonations to Westminster in a short film accompanied by one of T&B’s cutting sparky songs, as well as Shazia Mirza fresh from her Hairy Woman crusade on BBC3, it was as if a Saturday night oldschool variety show had crashlanded in Revenge and the two had absorbed each others’ DNA. Highly entertaining stuff.

Udderbelly, 18 May ✌✌✌✌ Victoria Nangle

037_LS323_List_Tue

5/24/07

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tuesday 29 dutchtub www.dutchtub.info

Andy Bass

0800 0121795

The Leadheads, Cella, 8pm

Live music Britonica + Aaron King Band Piano-crafted angular dark indie pop combining evocative harmonies with double-edged lyrics from Britonica and irresistible hooks from Aaron King.

Worth going for the support act alone.

Joogleberry, 8pm, £5/£4 Girls Aloud Stupendously successful girl band who came together by public vote via Popstars: The Rivals. Brighton Centre, 7.30pm, £26 The Great Indoors + The Leadheads Classic indie songwriting and countrified acoustica (in case you don’t fancy/can’t afford Girls Aloud).

Cella @ Sanctuary Café, 8pm, £5/£4 Isis Often complex progressive metal band held in the highest regard by those in the know.

Concorde 2, 7pm, £12 Open mic Brunswick, 8pm, free Partyshanks Er, apparently a bit like 2Unlimited dressed up as a hotdog, whatever that means. Part of Boogaloo Stu’s Calvacade Of Pop club night. Po Na Na, 9.30pm, £4/£3

Bars and clubs Arc Expelled. Multi-genre student mash-up.

10.30pm–3am, £2/£1 before 10.30pm Audio Snide. Indie tunes old and new at this super-cool night for tight-jeaned young things.

10pm–2am, £2 Belushi’s Revision. Student night with drink promos. 9pm–3am, free with NUS card Caroline Of Brunswick Quiz. 8.30pm, £1 Casablanca Tequila Tuesday. Party tunes with DJ Scotty Le Funk – the son of Mr and Mrs Le Funk, presumably. 10.30pm–3am, free Creation S.E.X. Big night of alcohol-fuelled dancefloor mayhem in exile from the Event 2, which is being refurbished. 10pm–2am, £3/free before 11pm Funky Buddha Lounge Kinky Robot. Various shades of house, electro, breaks and techno.

10.30pm–3am, £3/free before 11pm The Jazz Place Roots Garden. Reggae and roots sounds all night. 10pm–2am, £3.50/£2.50/£2 KooKlub Blow. Sociable house and pop night.

10pm–2am, £3 Ocean Rooms Sunset Sessions. Funky house check with venue before travelling. ➧ Please See our venue directory for details

behaviour with drinks promos. 10pm–3am, £3/£2/free before 11pm Po Na Na Cavalcade Of Pop. Wonky pop with Brighton legend Boogaloo Stu. 9.30pm–3.30am, £4 Suga Qube Industry. Weekly chance for Brighton’s hard-grafting bar workers to booze and dance themselves silly. 9pm–2am, free The Zap Smash Hits. DJs Sean Quinn and Mr P throw out top pop classics. Great fun.

10pm–3am, £3/£2/free before 11pm

Gay Bulldog Kruz. Strictly men-only night, with DJ Justin K playing the latest dance music.

11pm–2am, free Legends Dance Toxic. Selected drinks £2 each.

11pm–4am, free Marine Tavern Nat’s Quiz Night. 9pm Marlborough Ladies’ Night. Open till 12am Queen’s Arms Crooners Lounge. Piano bar with complimentary sandwiches.

2.30–11.30pm, free R–Bar Student night. Cabaret with Lady James at 9.30pm. Discounted tickets for Revenge.

9pm–2am, free Revenge Student night. 10.30pm–3am, free Vavoom Your choice videos. Open till 4am V2 club Music videos upstairs and karaoke downstairs until 12am. 10pm–late, free The Zone Piano bar. 1pm–12am, free

Theatre Aida The magnificent operatic story of war, jealousy and revenge centred around the doomed love of the beautiful slave girl, Aida, and the Egyptian hero, Radames. Theatre Royal Brighton, 7.30pm, £14.50–£30 Babes In Arms Rodgers and Hart’s most hitladen musical comedy with songs including ‘The Lady Is A Tramp’. Chichester Festival Theatre, please call for show times, £10–£35 Fawlty Towers Adur Theatre Company present three episodes – ‘Communication Problems’, ‘The Hotel Inspectors’ and ‘A Touch Of Class’ from the hit TV series. The Shoreham Centre, 7pm, please call for prices

Humpty Dumpty And The Incredibly Daring Rescue Of The Alien Princess In Deep Space Half-term fun for kids who like long show titles! Gags, laughs and audience participation. Worthing Pavilion Theatre, 2pm, £7.50 Macbeth Patrick Stewart stars in one of Shakespeare’s most fear-filled tragedies.

Chichester Festival Theatre, please call for show times and prices Spirit Of Gravity Brighton’s foremost electronica collective. Marlborough Theatre, 8pm, £4/£3 Thoroughly Modern Millie Stage adaptation of the classic musical comedy film set in New York in the 1920s. Eastbourne Devonshire Park, 7.30pm, £12/£10

Comedy The People vs Stand-up Comedy Brand-new pub comedy in Stirling Place, Hove. The Forager, 8pm, £3

Events Clown Day Fun and games in the picnic area with Charlie The Clown and friends throughout the afternoon. Drusillas Park, Alfriston, visit the website www.drusillas.co.uk for opening times and prices.

David Mitchell The author (not the comedian) reads from and discusses his new book Black Swan Green. The Old Market, 6.30pm, £6 (ticket price includes glass of wine) An Edwardian Evening Of Elegance And Mystery A guided tour taking you back in time and unravelling the mysteries of Preston Manor’s famous ghost. Preston Manor, book on 01273 292770, 7–8.30pm, £15 includes wine/nibbles Fashion Fun Bring along an item of cotton clothing and apply fabric paints to create something new. All ages. Brighton Museum, 2–4pm, free Strictly For Kids Learn to dance ballroom, Latin, the waltz, the foxtrot and more! Fun for 5–15 year olds. Worthing Assembly Hall, 6.15–7pm, £3

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wednesday 30 Live music

IS NOW OPEN 1st FLOOR COCKTAIL BAR

BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE FREEMASONS 38-39 WESTERN RD, HOVE

to reserve a table please call

01273 732043 info@thefreemasonstavern.com

CAFÉ

BAR

Arabian Spice Arabian sounds, food and belly dancing. Joogleberry, 7.30pm, £5 The Be Be See + Dan Mangan Psychotronic glam pop from headliners who recently supported Good Shoes on tour. Mangan has just played Brighton’s The Great Escape. Hope, 8pm, £tbc Circle Of Friends Acoustic night with local singer songwriters. Cosmopolitan Bar, 8.30pm, free Ghosts Of Pain + We Are Them + Joseph Szise Local indie bands. Pav Tav, 8pm, free The Legendary Bee’s Mouth Open Mic Arthouse, 8.30pm, free Open mic London Unity, 9pm, free Pet Shop Boys Synth pop from the masters.

Brighton Centre, 7.30pm, £26.50 Rumblestrips + Pull Tiger Tail + The Little Ones + Blood Red Shoes Great line up of diverse new talent as part of the NME New Music Tour. Headliners The Rumble Strips are an exhilarating Dexys Midnight Runners-style outfit complete with trumpet and sax. Concorde 2, 7pm, £7.50 Terry Seabrook Central figure on the Brighton jazz scene. Brunswick, 8pm, £3 The Thermals + Shrag + boypatient American punk influenced three-piece supported

by Brighton’s very own art-rockers Shrag. Ocean Rooms, 8pm, £8 Wednesday Night Originals Weekly showcase of local bands. Portland, 7.30pm, £3

funkery. 9.30pm–2am, £2/£1/free before 11pm Funky Buddha Lounge Sabotage. Indie rock stylings for lovers of all things guitar-based.

10.30pm–3am, £2 Honeyclub No Nonsense. Official night of the University of Sussex SU Sports Federation.

10pm–3am, £5/£2.50 Suga Qube Funk N Stuff. Raregroove, funk, disco and house from DJ Dave Morpeth.

9pm–2am, free

Gay Bulldog BBB. It stands for Bulldog Brighton Bears. 11pm–2am, free Caledonian 2 Dave Lynn – cabaret. 9.30pm Candy Bar Bring It On 9pm–2am Legends Dance Whoop! 11pm–3.30am, free Marlborough Quiz. Prizes for winners. 8pm The PV Quiz. 8pm Queen’s Arms Midweek Cabaret Party. With The Drag With No Name and Jamie Watson. DJ Andy B provides the sounds. 9.00pm R-Bar Go Double Baby. From 9pm, any double is just £1 extra. Open till 2am Revenge Strut your stuff at 1970s heaven.

Selected drinks just £1.50. 10.30pm–3am, free entry if dressed to theme or £3/£2 before 11pm Vavoom Your choice videos. Happy hour till 6pm. Open till 4am V2 Club Music videos upstairs and karaoke downstairs until 12am. 10pm–late The Zone 50s, 60s and 70s sounds. Open till 12am

Bars and clubs

Theatre

Arc Don’t Tell Ya Mum And Dad. Electro, space crunk (eh?) and indie mix. 10pm–late, £3/£2 Audio Supercharged. Top breaks and beats action with regular guests. 10.30pm–2.30am, £5/£3 The Beach Born In The 80s. The decade we all love to hate, or is it hate to love? 10pm–late, £3/80p Casablanca Fun Ki Disco. Two floors of upbeat

Aida The magnificent operatic story of war, jealousy and revenge centred around the doomed love of the beautiful slave girl, Aida, and the Egyptian hero, Radames. Theatre Royal, 7.30pm, £14.50–£30 Babes In Arms Rodgers and Hart’s most hitladen musical comedy with songs including ‘The Lady Is A Tramp’. Chichester Festival Theatre, please call for show times, £10–£35

Fawlty Towers Adur Theatre Company present three episodes – ‘Communication Problems’, ‘The Hotel Inspectors’ and ‘A Touch Of Class’ from the hit TV series. The Shoreham Centre, 7pm, please call for prices Macbeth Patrick Stewart stars in one of Shakespeare’s most fear-filled tragedies.

Chichester Festival Theatre, please call for show times and prices Thoroughly Modern Millie Stage adaptation of the classic musical comedy film set in New York in the 1920s. Eastbourne Devonshire Park, 2.30pm and 7.30pm, £12/£10 Truman Capote Talk Show Bob Kingdom's portrayal of the tortured, adorable and wicked writer of Breakfast At Tiffany's. The Capitol, Horsham, please call for show times and prices

Comedy Cooked Up Comedy New acts and new material on display in this intimate open spot show. Kitchen Bar, Preston Street, 8pm, free Sam Chara A cabaret night of song and costume. Marlborough Theatre, 8pm, £6/£5

Events An Audience With Peter James Best-selling Sussex-based crime writer Peter James talks about his latest book in the Roy Grace series – Not Dead Enough. Jubilee Library, 7pm, £3.50 Family Art Day Take inspiration from museum artefacts and create your own paintings, clay and prints. All ages. Brighton Museum, 10.30–12pm and 1.30–3pm, £5 Ghost Tour As seen on television’s Most Haunted, take a tour around Preston Manor unravelling its spooky stories. All ages. Preston Manor, 2–3pm and 3.30–4.30pm, £6.50/£3.50 Tony Wheeler Reading from and discussing his new book Badlands – A Tourist On The Axis Of Evil, plus his experiences in Iran, Iraq and North Korea. The Old Market, ticket price includes glass of wine. 6.30pm, £6

BRASSERIE

Kaskada brings the traditions of the Mediterranean to the UK. The first Croatian and Bosnian brasserie in Brighton, Kaskada promises professional friendly service, a warm cozy environment and honestly priced, well presented organic meals.

Sunday – Thursday 11am – Midnight Friday – Saturday 11am – 1am 35 Queens Road, Brighton East Sussex, BN1 3XB T: 01273 321320 38 latest 7

The Thermals, Ocean Rooms, 8pm

check with venue before travelling. ➧ Please See our venue directory for details

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thursday 31 Halfway To Paradise – The Billy Fury Story, Eastbourne Congress, 7.30pm

Live music Are You Taking The Mic? Original performers only, no covers at this open mic night. Register by emailing andersdmoney@yahoo.co.uk.

Providence, 8pm, free Avro Trio Brazilian jazz. Arthouse, 8.30pm, free Cella Sessions Open mic night for original music (no covers). Sign up by 8pm. Cella, 7.30pm, free MiMi Soya + Class War + Inertia Pav Tav, 8pm, free The Missing Fingers + Gordian Knot + The Self Cable Club local band night. Pressure Point, 8pm, £4/£3 Nick Harper Son of psychedelic folkie Roy, Nick has carved out a genuinely successful career as a hard-working, acoustic guitar wielding showman with both uptempo and downbeat tunes. Komedia, 8.30pm, £10 Noel Dumbrell An evening of old-fashioned Sussex songs and a caseful of harmonicas. A Lewes Folk Club event. Royal Oak, Lewes, 8pm, £4 Rubylux + ardentjohn Brighton pop rock fourpiece with Scots band in support. Joogleberry, 7.30pm, £5/£4 Simon Webbe Ex-Blue, now sounding like the lightweight soul of Lighthouse Family. Brighton Centre, 7.30pm, £23.50

Bars and clubs Audio Dynamite Boogaloo. Legendary pop/kitsch blow-out, popular with students.

10pm–2am, £4/£3 Barfly @ Brighton Gloucester Mad For It. Indie and boozy behaviour at one of the city’s best-loved nights. 10pm–2am, £3/£1.50 The Beach Big Toons. House, dance and R’n‘B classics with The Brighton Allstars. 10.30pm–3am, £4/free before 11pm Casablanca Sambanation. Sunny Brazilian flavours. 9.30pm–2am, £2/£1 Cosmopolitan Bar Spinner Stays On. If the DJ’s good enough to stay on, let them know!

If not, vote them off. Don’t throw cabbages, hot Bovril or gravel though, you might damage the decks. 7.30pm, free Creation Floorfillers. Pop encounters of the very biggest and boldest kind.

10pm–2am, £2/90p Funky Buddha Lounge Warm Your Soul.

Classic soul and funk for a slinky night out.

10pm–3am, £2/free Heist Mr Bongo Recordings. Night of sultry Afro jazz and soul. 9pm–late, free The Hope Vive La Fip! Celebrating the noodly French radio station in all its Gallic glory.

9pm–late, free Honeyclub Contagious. Classic house from way back. 10pm–late, £4/£2 KooKlub Hellenic Unity. Upfront blend of house, R&B and Reggaeton. 10pm–3am, £5 Ocean Rooms Chemical Generation. New monthly house and breaks night.

Time and price tbc Pav Tav The Resurrection. Indie for the masses in this popular, centrally-located sweatbox.

10pm–2am, £3/£1.50 Suga Qube Soulful and slamming beats from Lee Garrett and friends. 9pm–2am, free The Zap Chopper Choons. Kitsch and cool 70s grooves and hip hop for sweaty students.

10pm–3am, £4/free for NUS

Gay Bulldog Cabaret Night. Hosted by Joe MC Joe. 11pm–2am, free Candy Bar Get2gether Launch Party.

9pm–2am, free Charles Street Bar Mad Cow. Super-cheap drinks at this popular night. 8–11pm, £1 Charles Street Club Religion. House night hosted by Joan Bond with DJs Richard Jones and Tony B on the decks. 10.30pm–3am, £5/£4 flyer/£3 NUS. check with venue before travelling. ➧ Please See our venue directory for details

HQ Quiz and gameshow with Lady James.

8pm–2am, free Legends Dance Squeeze. 11pm–3.30am, free Marine Tavern Man Trap. 12pm–12am Marlborough Dragaphone, Pride fundraiser.

Live music and comedy. 12pm–12am, £1 Queen’s Arms Shag Tag! Plus karaoke with Betty. 9pm R-Bar Cabaret with Maisie Trollette and John Bruzon. 9.30pm Revenge Manzone. Back by popular demand!

Strictly men only. Stripper from midnight.

10.30pm–3am, £2 Star Inn Big Quiz. Open till midnight Vavoom Thirsty Thursday. Music videos all night long. Open till 4am V2 Club Music videos upstairs and karaoke downstairs until 12am. Open 10pm–late The Zone Piano bar. Open 1pm–12am

Theatre Babes In Arms Rodgers and Hart’s most hitladen musical comedy with songs including ‘The Lady Is A Tramp’. Chichester Festival Theatre, please call for show times, £10–£35 Fawlty Towers Adur Theatre Company present three episodes – ‘Communication Problems’, ‘The Hotel Inspectors’ and ‘A Touch Of Class’ from the hit TV series. The Shoreham Centre, 7pm, please call for prices Halfway To Paradise – The Billy Fury Story Billy Fury's own band Fury's Tornados join Colin Gold to celebrate ten years of the hit show.

Eastbourne Congress. 7.30pm, £16.50 Macbeth Patrick Stewart stars in one of Shakespeare’s most fear-filled tragedies.

Chichester Festival Theatre, please call for show times and prices The Tale Of Little Red Riding Hood Half-term special telling the classic story of Little Red, her Grandma and the wolf. New scenery plus an ultra-violet woodland sequence. Worthing Pavilion Theatre, 2pm, £7.50

Thoroughly Modern Millie Stage adaptation of the classic musical comedy film set in New York in the 1920s. Eastbourne Devonshire Park, 7.30pm, £12/£10 Tosca Puccini’s story of love, torture and treachery set against the backdrop of Rome at its bloodiest. Theatre Royal, 2pm and 7.30pm, £12.50–£30

Events Art And Craft Classes For children aged 18 months to five years old to have fun exploring their creativity. Malling Community Centre, Lewes. For more info/to book please call 01273 488616.

The Big Culture Show 2007 A fun three-day festival in mid Sussex with workshops and demonstrations, guest appearances and music including The Feeling and Chas And Dave, fantastic fireworks spectacle and more. Victoria Park, Haywards Heath, book tickets on 08704 450 550, see the complete line-up at www.thebigcultureshow.com, £10–£20, toddlers go free Dinosaur Workshop – Archaeology Children’s event exploring the world of dinosaurs. Pre-booking required on 01903 221448. Worthing Museum, 10.30am–12pm Paper Cuts Artist Bruce Ingram demonstrates the paper cutting techniques used to make collage designs. Pop along to see the work in progress. All ages. Hove Museum, 10am–12.30pm and 1.30–4.30pm, free Perfect Paper Inspired by the Paper Cuts exhibition, make paper dolls, create your very own flip book or weave paper. All ages. Hove Museum, 1–4pm, free Wrestling Half Term Special Grapple fans, see some giants of the ring throw their weight around in this big night of thrills and drama.

Anyone remember Kent Walton? Worthing Assembly Hall, 7.45pm, £8.50/£7.50 or £30/£28 (family of four)

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friday 1 My Federation, Komedia, 8pm

Charles Street Bar Fairylea. Cheesy, camp tracks with DJ Ruby Roo. 10.30pm–late Charles Street Club Revo. New funky electro club night with DJ Tom Logan. 10.30pm–3am, £5 HQ Shaft. Strictly men only. 10pm–4am, free before £5/£3 Legends Bar Pre-Yo-Yo. 11am–5am Legends Dance Yo-Yo. Commercial dance with DJ Alex Baker. 11pm–4am, £5/free before 12 Marlborough Get The Party Started. Get into the weekend mood. Open till 2am Queen’s Arms Andy B’s Camp Attack. Text the DJ on 07946 792444! Open till 12.30am R–Bar Kinky Lollipop warm-up with DJs Marcus Patrick and Jackie B (Heaven) playing old school house and camp hits.

Open 24 hours, free Revenge Lollipop Vs Kinky Dangerous. DJ Dulcie Danger upstairs, the Lollipop Girls downstairs. 10.30pm–5am, £7/£5 before 11 Rehab NRG. Funky house night. 9pm–3.30am, £7 or £5 before 12am Star Inn FBI – Friday Bears Inc. From 8pm Vavoom Bar Boyz. Promos and dance music videos all night. Open till 6am V2 Club Disco Inferno – tracks from 60s to 00s.

10pm–3am, members free The Zone Jamie Watson. 9pm

Theatre Live music

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01273 696555

Bars and clubs 3 Courses £17.95

Open every other Saturday

Jean-Jacques Jordane “Sings Paris”

The Laughing Onion

Ben Weaver + Dawn Landes Gravel-voiced Minnesotan with bleak, compulsive ‘six-feet under’ Americana. Support comes from Hem associate Dawn Landes and her ‘junk shop folk’.

Hope, 8pm, £6 Health & Pleasure Quirky covers band. Mint, 8pm, free Soundlocker Rock Night Providence, 8pm, £1 Spengler’s Lab Cheeky, upbeat, countryrockabilly and surf from 50 and 60s. Brunswick, 8pm, £3 The Stirring + My Federation + Officer Rosie The headliners are a Brighton-based Aussie band who play dynamic, straight-ahead rock. My Federation are also Brighton-based, recently graced The Great Escape festival and have just released their Honey Bee EP. Komedia, 8pm, £7.50/£6 Tanakh Italian indie folk band. Cella, 7.30pm, £tbc The Matzos Kicking klezmer and soulful Eastern European melodies infused with Latin, Arabic and Celtic grooves. Joogleberry, 8pm, £7 Trabant Icelandic electro-rock nutters who have been signed to Mr. Daft’s (aka Fatuous Boyzone Slim) Southern Fried label. Expect plenty of glitter, largin’ it and more havin’ it from these messy buggers. Audio, time and price tbc Viva Santana Six-piece rockers who celebrate the music of the legendary Carlos Santana.

Assembly Hall, Worthing, 8pm, £13/£11

Ali Cats Flow. Electro, breaks and booty bass in this subterranean hangout. 8pm–12am, free Arc Candy. Hip hop, soul and ragga featuring resident DJs Da Playaz. 10.30pm–4am, £8/£5 before 12am Audio Hospitality. Drum and bass from London Elektricity and Logistics. 11pm–4am, £tbc Barfly @ Brighton Gloucester Kick Out The Jams. Butt-kicking, reliably popular indie night.

10.30pm–2am, £4/£3 The Beach University Of Brighton Arts Students’ After Party. Get off your face when the private view is over. 10.30pm–4am, £4/£3 Belushi’s Madness. Sexy chart cheese and club classics. £2 selected drinks until midnight.

10pm–3am, free Casablanca Mirror Ball. Funky disco, as you would expect. 10.30pm–3am, £6/£5/£4

Concorde 2 Etch. Trouser jazz returns to Brighton as Mr Scruff hits the decks.

10pm–3am, £8/£7 Core Club The Do. Indie basement noise party with Indian Jewelry live. 11pm–3am, £6/£5 Cosmopolitan All Time Top 100. Where great songs take precedence over floor-fillers.

8pm–2am, free Creation Popdaparty. Three rooms of commercial tunery to cop off to. 9pm–3am, £5/free before 11pm Engine Rooms Deviant. Alternative sounds.

11pm–3am, £5/£4 Enigma Resistance. Visit the dark side with goth, alternative and EBM. 11pm–3am, £5/£4 Funky Buddha Lounge Thank Funk It’s Friday.

Funk and soul with DJs Sean Quinn and Stuart Ross. 10pm–3am, £8/£6 before 11pm Funky Buddha Lounge Pork Chop Express.

Late night party breaks and bootlegs. 3–8am, £8/£5 Funky Fish Funk, soul and classic rock ‘n’ roll with a party vibe. 10pm–3am, £6/£5 before 11 Honeyclub Hard South. Hard dance from Lisa Pin-Up and the Colonel. 11pm–5.30am, £10/£8 Jazz Place Basement Soul. Sexy sounds for a smooth night out. 10.30pm–3am, £5/£4 Kabuki Kabuki Fridays. Mike Panteli plays urban soul and house. 11pm–late, £7/£6 Komedia Little Sisters. Femme-fronted tracks from Chelsea Girl to Riot Girlz. 11pm–3am, £5 KooKlub Something Of Nothing. Fun club night with R’n‘B and house music. 10pm–3am, £4/£3 Lo Lounge Fridays Are Funky. 70s and 80s soul and disco classics for over 25s only.

9pm–2am, £5 Ocean Rooms Rebel. Drum and bass pressure from Andy C and guests. 10pm–5am, £tbc Pav Tav Rip It Up. Indie anthems to kick-start a weekend of excess. 10pm–2am, £4/£3 Pressure Point Ultraviolet. Deep funky house from Ross Warm. 12am–5am, free Suga Qube Electronica of all kinds from the Suga Qube Allstars team. 9pm–late, free Volks White Rhino. Dirty great breaks for a fantastic wildlife cause. 11pm–4am, £6/£4 The Zap Sexxxy. DJ Just-Le-Funk’s birthday bash with dancers, greeters and funky house.

11pm–4am, £9/£6

Gay Bulldog The Long Weekend. Big Brother 8 played on screens. Strictly men only. Open 63 hours through weekend

Babes In Arms Rodgers and Hart’s most hitladen musical comedy with songs including ‘The Lady Is A Tramp’. Chichester Festival Theatre, please call for show times, £10–£35 Beyond The Barricade Leading theatre musical concert now in its 8th year. The Capitol, Horsham, please call for show times and prices Fawlty Towers Adur Theatre Company present three episodes – ‘Communication Problems’, ‘The Hotel Inspectors’ and ‘A Touch Of Class’ from the hit TV series. The Shoreham Centre, 7pm, please call for prices Macbeth Patrick Stewart stars in one of Shakespeare’s most fear-filled tragedies.

Chichester Festival Theatre, please call for show times and prices Thoroughly Modern Millie Stage adaptation of the classic musical comedy film set in New York in the 1920s. Eastbourne Devonshire Park, 7.30pm, £12/£10 Tosca Puccini’s story of love, torture and treachery set against the backdrop of Rome at its bloodiest. Theatre Royal, 7.30pm, £12.50–£30

Comedy Kronenbourg Krater Comedy Club Micky Flanagan, Greg Davies, Michael Fabbri and MC David Hadingham entertain you in this regular weekend comedy club. Komedia, 7.30pm, £12/£10

Events The Big Culture Show 2007 A fun three-day festival in mid Sussex with workshops and demonstrations, guest appearances and music including The Feeling and Chas & Dave, fantastic fireworks spectacle and more. Victoria Park, Haywards Heath, book tickets on 08704 450 550, see the complete line-up at www.thebigcultureshow.com, £10–£20, toddlers go free Chinese Paper Dragons Inspired by Margaret Bateson-Hill’s storytelling, make a 3D dragon mask and Chinese paper crafts. Ages 8 and over. (See also Fold It, Cut It And Turn It Around below.) Hove Museum, 2–4pm, £6.50 Creative Day A chance to make a mess, without the tidying up, using paints and clay. All ages. Booth Museum, 10.30am–12pm and 1.30–3pm, £5 Fold It, Cut It And Turn It Around Creative Chinese paper craft and storytelling workshop, taking a fantasy mini trip to China. 4–7 years.

Hove Museum, 10.30am–12.30pm, £6.50 check with venue before travelling. ➧ Please See our venue directory for details

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saturday 2 The Blues Corporation Eight-piece funk outfit, an endearing Brighton musical institution.

Brunswick, 8pm, free Czar Creek + The Sweet FA Bluesy altrockers from Brighton plus the Small Faces-ish sound of The Sweet FA at this Stash night.

Hope, 8pm, £4 Koma Katz + Hollywood Suicide + 2nd Hand Coffin + Sweet Sweet Lies Kicksville rockabilly club and band night presented by Brighton Rumble. Engine Rooms, 8pm, £5 Martin Messent + Chris Austwick Beachfire acoustic night. Cella, 8pm, £4 Red Jackson Old American blues with double bass. Mint, 8pm, free Rubylux + Lostaura + Cusp Indie/rock night with DJ ‘Neil By Mouth’. Providence, 8pm, £1 Three Plus One Jazz outfit featuring Jeff Howlett, John Harris, Keith Baxter and singer Ela Southgate. Joogleberry, 8pm, £6 T-Rextasy – Reborn And Bopping Tenth year of touring for this Marc Bolan tribute. Pavilion Theatre, Worthing, 8pm, £14.50/£13.50

men only. Open 24 hours, free Charles Street Bar Bliss Birthday Party. With appearance by Lee Ryan. Free Charles Street Club Bliss Birthday Party continues with performance from Lee Ryan.

10.30pm–late, £tbc HQ Maisie Trollette on stage. 9pm–4am, free before 11pm/£5 after Legends Bar Pre-Ignition.11am–5am Legends Dance Ignition. Big tunes with DJ Peter Castle. 11pm–4am, £5/free before 11pm Queens Arms Julie Glitter’s Karaoke Show. 9pm R-Bar Glitterati. A brand new swanky Saturday night with funky vocal house from top London DJ Drew Palmer. 8.30pm–11pm, free Revenge Shine. DJ Dusty O on level one and uplifting house on level two. 10.30pm–6am, free before 11pm/£5 before 12am/£7 after 12am/£3 after 3am, NUS £3 Star Inn Proud To Bear night. 8pm–1am Vavoom Theme Night. Open till 6am V2 Club Drinks promos from just £1.

Open till 3am, members free, others £2/free before 12 The Zone Jerome singing and Patrick on piano.

9pm

caption Festival Theatre, please call for Chichester show times and prices Thoroughly Modern Millie Stage adaptation of the classic musical comedy film set in New York in the 1920s. Eastbourne Devonshire Park, 2.30pm and 7.30pm, £12/£10 Voulez Vous Having been recreating the magic of Abba for over 15 years, Voulez Vous hits the stage in Eastbourne with all the best-loved Abba hits. Eastbourne Congress, 7.30pm, £10

Bars and clubs

Theatre

Events

Ali Cats Uni-Fi. Nu-skool and old skool breaks.

8pm–12am, free Arc Holdup! Brighton’s biggest indie night with guest DJs and lots of corners to dance in.10pm–4am, £5 Audio Stompa Phunk. Grizzled dance veteran Andrew Weatherall takes to the decks.

10pm–4am, £tbc The Beach Fever. Disco and funk at this upbeat weekend session. 10.30pm–4am, £10/£8 Belushi’s Utopia. 80s classics and club anthems. 10pm–3am, free Casablanca Batcuda. Live Latino and classic tunes. 11pm–4am, £7/£6/£5 Concorde 2 Zero Culture 2nd Birthday.

Junglism from Mr Natural plus a rare turn from Unique 3. 11pm–4am, £5 Creation Anthems. Bangin’ weekly party.

9pm–late, £10/free before 10pm Engine Rooms Lowlife. Rock and indie mix in this lovably scuzzy club. 10.30pm–4am, £5 Funky Buddha Lounge Buddha Soul. Cool classics with Mike Panteli. 10pm–3am, £10/£7 Funky Buddha Lounge Bright ‘n’ Early. After Party action for sexy peeps with DJ Matt Tolfrey. 3am–8am, £10/£7 Funky Fish Funk, soul and classic rock ‘n’ roll with a party vibe. 10pm–3am, £6/£5 before 11 Honeyclub Seven Sins. Pumping house and driving electro from Lucien Foort. 11–5.30am, £10/8 The Jazz Place Street Jazz. Jazz, funk, Afro and latin. 10.30pm–3am £6/£5 Kabuki Kabuki Saturdays. Dance music from across the spectrum. 11pm–late, £7/£6 KooKlub Sweet Boutique. Sugary fun with a house soundtrack. 10pm–4am, free Lo Lounge Saturday Soul. Funk and disco anthems from DJ Mick Fuller. 10pm–3am, £5 Po Na Na Good Turn. Modern soul, electro and pop. 10pm–3.30am, £10/£8 Pressure Point One 70. Live drum and bass with Dr Meaker. 12am–late, £4/£3 Suga Qube Electronica of all kinds from the Suga Qube Allstars team. 9pm–late, free The Zap Pussycat Presents The Pink And Black Party. The funky felines celebrate 12 years in existence with burlesque dancers and dancefloor decadence. 10pm–4am, £tbc Volks Psydelicious. Trance, psychedelic-style from Bedouin and M-Theory. 11pm–5am, £10/£6

Aida The magnificent operatic story of war, jealousy and revenge centred around the doomed love of the beautiful slave girl, Aida, and the Egyptian hero, Radames. Theatre Royal, 2pm and 7.30pm, £14.50–£30 Babes In Arms Rodgers and Hart’s most hitladen musical comedy with songs including ‘The Lady Is A Tramp’. Chichester Festival Theatre, please call for show times, £10–£35 Fawlty Towers Adur Theatre Company present three episodes – ‘Communication Problems’, ‘The Hotel Inspectors’ and ‘A Touch Of Class’ from the hit TV series. The Shoreham Centre, 7pm, please call for prices Macbeth Patrick Stewart stars in one of Shakespeare’s most fear-filled tragedies.

The Big Culture Show 2007 A fun three-day festival in mid Sussex with workshops and demonstrations, guest appearances and music including The Feeling and Chas & Dave, fantastic fireworks spectacle and more. Victoria Park, Haywards Heath, book tickets on 08704 450 550, see the complete line-up at www.thebigcultureshow.com, £10–£20, toddlers go free Brighton Ghost Walk An unusual way to see the sights of the city, from spooky lanes to scary cemeteries. Meet Brighton Town Hall, 8pm prompt departure, £6/£3.50 Radio Club Children’s event delving into the world of radio. Pre-booking required on 01903 221448, Worthing Museum, 10am–12pm

Live music

Gay Barfly @ Brighton Gloucester Monkey. Wild Fruit’s big Saturday celebrates its first birthday.

10.30pm–late, NUS £5 all night, others £5 before 11pm/£7 before midnight/£9 after Bulldog The Long Weekend continues, strictly

Comedy Kronenbourg Krater Comedy Club Micky Flanagan, Greg Davies, Michael Fabbri and MC Stephen Grant entertain you in this regular weekend comedy club. Komedia, 7pm and 10.30pm, £16 Comedy Academy 4 Kids A chance for children to air their jokes and learn how to be funny from those who do it for a living.

Komedia, 10am £tba Comedy Club 4 Kids Names from the mainstream stand-up circuit tailor their gags for a younger audience. Komedia, 2pm, £6

Czar Creek, Hope, 8pm

ITALIA CONTI The UK’s Longest Established Stage School (1911) Tried, Tested and Proven!

For Nearly 100 Years!

GO WITH THE BEST! Performing Arts Training

NEW We are coming to Brighton and Hove!

(Sep 2007) Free Trial Day/VIP Day Saturday June 9th I.S.T.D. Ballet, Tap, Modern, Voice/Dialect, L.A.M.D.A. Acting, Singing, Musical Theatre, Jazz, Street Dance, Film and TV, Agency, Latin American

Email: lindaedwards@italiaconti.co.uk Web: www.italiacontibrightonhove.co.uk

020 7608 7513 or 01273 325209 Are you watching…?

Grease Is The Word!

Any Dream Will Do! (we have 3 current students in the finals!)

PATRONS: Bonnie Lythgoe – Carole Todd

check with venue before travelling. ➧ Please See our venue directory for details

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New to

MASSAGE Drop in classes & courses available Members and non-members welcome.

If you have always wanted to know how to give a good massage this course could be for you!

For further information

Call- 01273 666405 Enjoy the KOBA ‘Happy hour’ Two cocktails for the price of one between 5-7pm every day in the front bar. Apply for free K-list membership at www.kobauk.com

Functions rooms available for all kinds of parties of 10-190 guests Free venue hire Sunday – Thursday contact info@kobauk.com or call Tel: 01273 720059

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sunday 3

mon 4

Live music

Gay

Kevin Montgomery, Greys, 8.30pm

Acoustic Jam Session Weekly chilled evening of acoustic jamming with PA. Portland, 8pm, free Berenice + Shiseido Red + Elissa Franceschi Three soulful singer songwriters.

Joogleberry, 8pm, £5 Diego Parada Gypsy jazz to enjoy with your roast. Brunswick, 3pm, free Kris Bell & Friends Weekly acoustic shindig hosted by Kris Bell with friends playing a mix of covers and originals.

Chequers, 8.30pm, free The Little Man + Sarah Haywood + Johnny Martyr + Rob Acoustic vibes. Pav Tav, 8pm, free Silicon Vultures + This City Local indie hardcore types. Engine Rooms, 7.30pm, £tbc

Bulldog Gay Pop Idol 2007. Heat one. 11–2am Charles Street Club Sunday Service. Religion’s new Sunday night party. 10.30pm–late, £4/£3 Marlborough Live music from Stoni. 6pm Queen’s Arms Super Sunday! Cabaret with Miss Jason then Betty’s Karaoke Show. Open till 11pm R-Bar Cabaret with Dave Lynn. Open till 2am Revenge Dance, chart and funky house.

10.30pm–3am, £2 before midnight then £3 Star Inn Bears’ Beer Bash! 4pm–late Vavoom Chill-out music videos all day. Till 3am The Zone Titty Bon Bon. 9pm

Live music

Bars and clubs Cosmopolitan Bar The Full Moon pub quiz.

7.30pm Honeyclub Sundelicious. Sabbath house of the electro variety. 10pm–late, £2/£1 KooKlub Cash Queen. Slinky, sexy house music from Dulcie Danger and friends.

10pm–3am, £7/£5 St. Christopher’s Open mic night.

Open till 2am Suga Qube Carry On Sunday. House with John Byrne, Make:Waves and Charmain. Free The Zap Sunday School. Electro and tribal tech house.

10pm–late, £4/free

Theatre That’ll Be The Day A feel-good party show with over 100 songs featuring hits from the 50s, 60s and 70s rock ’n’ roll era. Worthing Pavilion Theatre, 7.45pm, £17–£19

Comedy Kronenbourg Krater Comedy Club Micky Flanagan, Greg Davies, Michael Fabbri, Greg McHugh and MC Stephen Grant entertain you in this regular weekend comedy club. Komedia, 8pm, £9/£6 students Bent Double Zoe Lyons hosts this regular gayfriendly monthly comedy night, with guests Lucy Porter, Jen Brister and Angie McEvoy. Komedia, 7.30pm, £9.50/£7.50 Sidesplitters Two established comics and three new acts all providing a fantastic funny Sunday night out. The Providence, 8pm, £4

135 Western Road, Brighton BN1 2LA www.kobauk.com

Can U Joogle? Acoustic showcase. Send or drop a demo in for the attention of Carly, marked ‘Can U Joogle?’. Joogleberry, 8pm, free Die! Die! Die! + Fanfalo Artfully rocking Kiwis who deconstruct and refine disco pop. Fanfalo are one of Bowie’s fave new bands and sound not too dissimilar to the Pale White Duke. Hope, 8pm, £5 Jeff Howlett Trio Jazz and funk. Arthouse, 8.30pm, free Kevin Montgomery & Tommy Allsup The legendary Allsup teams up with the more contemporary Montgomery for a masterclass in country, western swing and roots. Allsup was a member of Buddy Holly’s Crickets. SOLD OUT. Greys, 8.30pm, £15 Vin Garbutt Folk legend. Chequer Mead, East Grinstead, 8pm, £12/£10

Bars and clubs Beach We Love 90s. Tunes from way back when. 10.30pm–3am, £2/90p Casablanca Now That’s What I Call The 80s.

10.30pm–3am, free Cosmopolitan Bar Parlour Games. Bring your own games or choose from the selection. Free Funky Buddha Lounge Caramel. R’n’B, hip hop and funk. 10.30pm–3.30am, £3/£1 Honeyclub Stardust Summer Sale! 70s and 80s party tunes. 10pm–2.30am, £3/90p KooKlub Student Mondays. Student night with a pop/cheese soundtrack. 10pm–3am, £3 Suga Qube Late Night Lounging. Hip hop, soul and downtempo. Open till 4am, free Volks Tip Top Presents Strictly Reggae.

Dancehall, bashment and roots. 10pm–late, £4.50/£3.50

Gay

EXCITING NEW ROUTES AT BRIGHTON’S CLIMBING WALL!

Bulldog Marcia’s Glitter Ball. Open till 2am Charles Street Club Studio 150. Party tunes with DJs Luke and Ali. 10.30pm–3am, £1.50 Legends Dance Mojo. Classics from across the decades. 11pm-3.30am, free Marlborough Student social night with games, pool and tunes. Open till 12am Queen’s Arms The Spice Is Right. Karaoke show. 2.30–11.30pm R-Bar Miss Jason’s Madhouse. 10pm-late Revenge Showtime. Hosted by Miss Jason. with strippers and cabaret.10.30pm-3am, £3/£2 The Zone DJ Mikolos. Reggae night. 9pm

YOUNG PEOPLE AND ADULTS GROUPS Youth and Community • Schools and Colleges • Birthday Parties • Corporate Special events • Regular kids clubs Equipment provided • Qualified Instruction

INDIVIDUAL CLIMBERS!!

Novices: £15 for two and a half hours instruction in basic climbing techniques and safety (contact us for dates and times)

Theatre

Experienced: Open session every Tuesday 6-10pm and Thursday 7-10pm. Equipment hire available

Babes In Arms Rodgers and Hart’s most hitladen musical comedy. Chichester Festival Theatre, please call for show times, £10–£35 Boogie Nights The tenth birthday of the smash hit 70s musical. Theatre Royal, 7.45pm, £tbc Macbeth Patrick Stewart stars in one of Shakespeare’s most fear-filled tragedies.

Chichester Festival Theatre, please call for show times and prices

The Rock Court is at Stanley Deason Leisure Centre Wilson Avenue, Brighton CONTACT US FOR DETAILS OF OUR REGULAR KIDS CLUBS AND OTHER AVAILABILITY

Comedy 01273 681058 info@aultd.org www.aultd.org 64 Edward Street Brighton BN2 0JR

Lucy Porter guests @ Bent Double, Komedia, 7.30pm

Top Banana Comedy A collection of new acts and new material from Brighton and London.

Cella @ The Sanctuary, 8pm, £5/£4

In partnership with Brighton and Hove Council

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A-Z venue directory Brighton and Hove Ali Cats 80 East St, Brighton 01273 220902 Amsterdam 11 Marine Parade 01273 688825 www.amsterdam.uk.com Aqua 23 Waterfront Brighton Marina 01273 819800 Aquarium 6 Steine Street, Brighton 01273 605525 www.pleisure.com Arc 160 Kings Road Arches 01273 770505 Arthouse Gallery 10 Western Road, Hove 01273 770083 Audio 10 Marine Parade 01273 606906 www.audiobrighton.com Bar Bamboogy 78 West Street, Brighton www.creationbrighton.com Barley Mow 92 St George’s Road 01273 682259 The Beach 171–181 Kings Road Arches, Brighton 01273 722272 Belushi’s 10-12 Grand Junction Road, Brighton 01273 202035 Bom-Bane’s 24 George Street, Brighton 01273 606299 Booth Museum Of Naural History 194 Dyke Road, Brighton 01273 292777 Brighton Centre Kings Road, Brighton 0870 900 9100 www.brightoncentre.co.uk Brighton College Eastern Road www.brightoncollege.net Brighton Dome 29 New Road, Brighton 01273 709709 www.brighton-dome.org.uk Brighton Gloucester 27 Gloucester Place 01273 688011 Brighton and Hove Greyhound Stadium Nevill Road, Hove 01273 204601 www.trap6.com/hove Brighton Museum & Art Gallery Royal Pavilion Gardens, 01273 290900 Brighton Peace & Environment Centre Brighton Ecocentre, 39–41 Surrey Street 01273 766610 Brighton Rocks 6 Rock Place 01273 601139 Brighton Women’s Centre 72 High Street, Brighton 01273 698036 The Brunswick 1 Holland Road, Hove 01273 733984 Bulldog, 31 St James’s Street 01273 696996 www.bulldogbrighton.com Caledonian 2 161 Edward Street, Brighton 01273 323087 Candy Bar 129 St James’s Street 01273 622424 www.thecandybar.co.uk Caroline of Brunswick 39 Ditchling Road, Brighton 01273 624434 Casablanca Middle Street, Brighton 01273 321817 Cella @ Sanctuary Café 51–55 Brunswick St East, Hove 01273 770006 Charles Street Bar & Club 8 Marine Parade 01273 624091 www.charlesstreetbar.com Chequers 45 Preston Street, Brighton 01273 738718 Cineworld Brighton Marina Village 01273 818094 www.cineworld.co.uk Clair Hall Perrymount Road, Haywards Heath 01444 455440 Concorde 2 Madeira Drive, Brighton 01273 673311 www.concorde2.co.uk Core Club 12–15 King’s Road, Brighton 01273 326848 Corn Exchange 29 New Road, Brighton 01273 709709 www.brighton-dome.org.uk Cornerstone Community Centre Church Road, Hove 01273 327757 Cosmopolitan Bar 29-31 New Steine 01273 682461 The Cowley Club 12 London Road, Brighton 01273 696104 www.cowleyclub.org.uk Creation 78 West Street, Brighton 01273 321628 www.creationbrighton.com Doctor Brighton’s 16–17 Kings Road 01273 328765 www.pleisure.com Dome 29 New Road, Brighton 01273 709709 www.brighton-dome.org.uk Duke of York’s Picturehouse Preston Circus, Brighton 01273 626261 www.picturehouses.co.uk

Education Room Brighton Pavilion 01273 296971 Engine Room 5 Preston Street, Brighton 01273 728999 www.engineroomclub.com Enigma 10 Ship Street, Brighton 01273 328439 www.theenigmabrighton.co.uk The Fishbowl 74 East Street 01273 777505 Fitzherberts 25 New Road 01273 682401 The Forager 3 Stirling Place, Hove 01273 733134 Freebutt 1 Phoenix Place 01273 603974 Freemasons 38 Western Road, Hove 01273 732043 Funky Buddha Lounge 169–170 Kings Road Arches, Brighton 01273 725541 Funky Fish Club, New Madeira Hotel, 19-23 Marine Parade, Brighton 01273 698331 Gap Club 61a Western Road, Hove 0844 999 6349 Gardner Arts Centre, University of Sussex campus, Falmer 01273 685861 www.gardnerarts.co.uk The George 5 Trafalgar Street, Brighton 01273 681055 The Globe 78 Middle Street, Brighton 01273 727114 The Greys 105 Southover Street, Brighton 01273 680734 The Hanbury Club 83 St George’s Road, Brighton 01273 605789 Hare & Hounds 75 London Road, Brighton 01273 681163 The Heist 57 West Street, Brighton 0844 999 7217 HQ 43 Providence Place, Brighton 01273 620630 www.harlequin-brighton.co.uk Hobgoblin 31 York Place, Brighton 01273 602519 Honeyclub 214 Kings Road Arches, 01273 202807 www.thehoneyclub.co.uk The Hope 10–12 Queen’s Road, Brighton 01273 325793 Hove Museum & Art Gallery 194 Church Road, Hove 01273 290200 Hove Town Hall, Norton Road, Hove 0870 900 9100 www.brighton-hove.gov.uk Jazz Place 10 Ship Street, Brighton 01273 328439 www.thejazzplacebrighton.co.uk Joogleberry Playhouse 14–17 Manchester Street, Brighton 01273 687171 www.joogleberry.com The Jubilee Library Julbilee Street, Brighton 01273 290800 Juggler Bar 21 Western Road, Hove 01273 724195 Kabuki 9-12 Middle Street, Brighton King and Queen 13 Marlborough Place, Brighton 01273 606207 Kitchen Bar 36 Preston Street, Brighton Komedia Gardner Street, Brighton 01273 647100 www.komedia.co.uk KooKlub 10 Pool Valley, Brighton 01273 888000 www.kooklub.co.uk

Comprehensive list of venues to complement our listings

01273 699069 Odeon Cinema West Street, Brighton 0871 224 4007 www.odeon.co.uk Ohso Social 250a Kings Road Arches, Brighton 01273 746067 The Old Market Upper Market Street, Hove 01273 736222 www.theoldmarket.co.uk The Park Crescent Pub 39 Park Crescent Terrace, Brighton 01273 604993 PavTav (Pavilion Tavern) 7–8 Castle Square, Brighton 0844 999 6331 Pavilion Theatre 29 New Road, Brighton 01273 709709 www.brighton-dome.org.uk Penthouse (above the Freebutt), 1 Phoenix Place, Brighton 01273 603 974 Pintxo People 95-99 Western Rd, Brighton 01273 732323 www.pintxopeople.co.uk Portland Rock Bar 153 Portland Road, Hove 01273 383840 www.portlandrockbar.co.uk Po Na Na Unit 2, 75-79 East Street, Brighton 01273 777904 www.ponana.com Pressure Point 33 Richmond Place, Brighton 01273 702333 www.pressurepoint.me.uk Preston Manor Preston Drove, Brighton 01273 292770 Prestonville Arms 64 Hamilton Road, Brighton 01273 701007 Prince Albert 48 Trafalgar Street, Brighton 01273 730499 The Providence 130 Western Road, Hove 01273 727822 The PV 22 Upper North Street, Brighton 01273 325491 www.thepv.co.uk Queen’s Arms 7 George Street, Brighton 01273 696873 R-Bar 7 Marine Parade, Brighton 01273 608133 www.revenge.co.uk Red Roaster Café 1d St James’s Street, Brighton 01273 686668 Rehab Brighton Marina 01273 675007 www.rehabbrighton.com Rendezvous Casino Brighton Marina 01273 605602 www.rendezvouscasino.com Revenge 32 Old Steine, Brighton 01273 606064 www.revenge.co.uk Revue Bar 19 New Steine, Brighton 01273 607456 Riki Tik 18a Bond Street, Brighton 01273 683844

The Anchor Inn Anchor Lane, Barcombe 01273 400414 www.anchorinnandboating.co.uk Ashdown Forest Broadstone car park, second left from Wychcross The Black Horse High Street, Findon, Worthing 01903 872301 Bluebell Railway Sheffield Park Station, East Sussex 01825 720800 Café Blue Pevensey Road, Eastbourne 07834 405675 The Capitol North Street, Horsham 01403 750220 Chequer Mead De La Warr Road, East Grinstead 01342 302 000 Chichester Festival Theatre Oaklands Park 01243 781312 www.cft.org.uk Clair Hall Perrymount Road, Haywards Heath 01444 455440 Drusillas Park Alfriston, Polegate 01323 874100 Eastbourne Congress Theatre Carlisle Road, Eastbourne 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Eastbourne Devonshire Park Theatre Compton Street, Eastbourne 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Eastbourne Royal Hippodrome Theatre 108 Seaside Road, Eastbourne 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Eastbourne Winter Garden Theatre Compton Street, Eastbourne 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Fountain Inn High Street, Handcross 01444 400218 www.fountainpub.co.uk The Half Brick 221 Brighton Road, Worthing 01903 234196 The Hawth Hawth Avenue, Crawley 01293 553636 www.hawth.co.uk Horsham Folk Club The Normandy Centre, Denne Road, Horsham 01306 875653 www.horshamfolkclub.co.uk

Saqqara 158 North Street, Brighton 01273 779701 Sky Bar 54-55 Meeting House Lane, Brighton www.skybarbrighton.com Star Inn 5–9 Manchester Street, Brighton 01273 601450 St Christophers 10-12 Grand Junction Road, Brighton Suga Qube 5 Castle Square 01273 770246 Sussex Arts Club 7 Ship Street 01273 778020

Jack Horner 80 High Street, Worthing 01903 236427

Theatre Royal New Road 08700 606650 www.theambassadors.com/theatreroyal

The Shoreham Centre 2 Pond Road, Shoreham-By-Sea 01273 454686 St Thomas à Beckett Church Hall Cliffe High Street, Lewes

Legends Bar & Dance 31-34 Marine Parade, Brighton Lo Lounge 106 Kings Road, Brighton 01273 715077 London Unity 131 Islingworth Road, Brighton 01273 681285

V2 5 Steine Street, Brighton 01273 609672 Vanilla Bar 73a Western Road, Hove 01273 748182 Vavoom 31 Old Steine, Brighton 01273 603010 Volks The Colonnade, 3 Madeira Drive, Brighton 01273 682828 www.volksclub.co.uk

Marlborough Bar & Theatre 4 Princes Street, Brighton 07782 278521 www.marlboroughtheatre.co.uk Marine Tavern 13 Broad Street, Brighton 01273 681284 www.harlequin-brighton.co.uk Mint Meeting House Lane 0871 2072 088 Mojo’s Bar & Restaurant 103 North Road, Brighton 01273 622522

Western Front Near Churchill Square, Brighton 01273 725656 White Horse 30 Camelford St, Brighton 01273 603726 Wild Fruit @ Creation, 78 West Street, Brighton www.wildfruit.co.uk West Hill Hall Compton Avenue, Brighton

New Madeira Hotel 19-23 Marine Parade, Brighton 01273 698331 New Venture Theatre Bedford Place 01273 746118 www.newventure.org.uk

The Zap Kings Road Arches, Brighton 01273 202407 Zoot Street Bar Queens Road, Brighton 01273 737770 The Zone 33 St James’s Street, Brighton 01273 626442

Ocean Rooms 1–2 Morley Street, Brighton

Around Sussex

Malling Community Centre Spences Lane, Lewes 01273 477931 www.mallingcommunitycentre.com Martlets Martlets Hall, Civic Way, Burgess Hill 01444 242888 Royal Oak Station Street, Lewes 01273 478124

United Reformed Church Clinton Place, corner of Broad Street, Seaford Worthing Assembly Hall Connaught Theatre, Pavilion Theatre, Union Place, Worthing 01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk Worthing Museum & Art Gallery Chapel Road, Worthing 01903 221140 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk Worthing Connaught Theatre Union Place, Worthing 01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk Worthing Pavilion Theatre Marine Parade, Worthing 01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk ■ We try to ensure all event details are correct but regret we cannot be held responsible for any inaccuracies. Please check directly with the venue before travelling ■

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044_LS323_JobsCV

5/24/07

11:44 AM

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JOBS

Greet expectations Top notch cards business is regional finalist in major business awards “A shining example of how to successfully grow from a very small beginning.” That’s what the judges said after meeting Jeremy Corner and hearing him talk about his business Blue Eyed Sun Ltd, which is a regional finalist in the manufacturing category of the the British Small Business Champions awards 2007.

Started by artist Jo Kirby and her partner Jeremy Corner in a Brighton bedsit in 2000, Blue Eyed Sun designs and makes handmade greeting cards. Now it employs ten staff with its own workshops and sells thousands of cards to shops around the world including John Lewis, Fortnum And Mason, House Of Fraser and Fenwick.

Blue Eyed Sun greetings cards are upmarket and include glass enamel cards containing removable fridge magnets that are hand-fired in Blue Eyed's own kilns and Suncatchers, which won a Gift Of The Year award and have a detachable hand-painted decoration to hang in a window, make into a hanging mobile or put on Christmas trees.

The UK card industry is worth over £1.2bn annually (more than tea and coffee combined) and is the most successful in the world. The British buy more cards per person (55 each year) than any other country. Because the UK leads the way, design standards are very high and competition is fierce. Jeremy Corner says: “Blue Eyed’s focus is on designing and making the most gorgeous cards, keeping our products fresh and turning orders around very quickly.”

In support of his company’s industry, Jeremy Corner has – for the past three years – been the keynote speaker at the Ladder Club, an annual event organised by the Greeting Cards Association to help new card publishing start-ups.

The British Small Business Champions awards are the only national awards exclusively for small businesses. Established in 2003 by the Federation Of Small Businesses to celebrate the achievements and raise the profile of the UK’s four million small businesses.

Jeremy Corner, MD of Blue Eyed Sun, taken when he went to meet the judges to tell them why his is a champion business

Property Recruitment Specialists

Residential Letting Branch Manager Branch Manager Letting Negotiator Letting Negotiator Letting Negotiator

Burgess Hill East Sussex Guildford Surrey Ramsgate Kent Burgess Hill East Sussex Guildford West Sussex

Residential Sales Senior Branch Manager Branch Manager Listers Sales Co-ordinator Sales Negotiator Sales Negotiator

Brighton East Sussex Dorking Surrey North/East/Mid Kent Brighton East Sussex Crawley East Sussex East Grinstead Mid Sussex

Other Property Manager Burgess Hill East Sussex Property Manager Brighton East Sussex Investment Consultants Fareham Surrey HR Director (CIPD) Sussex Mid Sussex Land Manager Leatherhead Surrey Recruitment Administrator Brighton East Sussex Secretary Brighton East Sussex To register a position or find out further details please contact one of our consultants in confidence.

everyone has a price on their head

to maximize your potential call us now on:

0845 130 1188 fax 0845 130 1189

44 latest jobs

email enquiries@lca-jobs.com

web www.lca-jobs.com

hundreds of jobs every week...

045_LS323_Job Ads

5/23/07

3:51 PM

Page 1

JOBS TM

FULL TIME NEGOTIATOR/ADMINISTRATOR REQUIRED FOR OUR KEMP TOWN LETTINGS OFFICE An excellent opportunity for a highly motivated, well presented person with lettings experience. Perhaps you currently carry out the administration within a letting company/department or you are simply looking for a change and want to join a modern expanding company.

You must have a full UK driving licence as a pool car will be provided.

Office hours are Monday – Friday 9am–5.30pm and the successful applicant would be required to work Saturday mornings on a rota basis.

Please apply in writing to : Juliette Lee 6 St George’s Road Kemp Town Brighton BN2 1EB Or by e-mail juliettelee@young-lee.co.uk All enquires will be treated in the strictest confidence

RECRUITING NOW Your local independent pizza delivery company Is now recruiting for key positions in most areas.

OWNER DRIVERS * Uniform provided * Meal on duty * Great rates * Part-time/full time positions (flexible too) * Evenings only from 5pm start * Good local knowledge required * Smart appearance/good clear English a must

INSTORE STAFF * As above also required For all postions call manager now on

Tel 07891 375433 Or e-mail your interest at:

opportunities@famousmoes.com Or call into your local store now for an application form.

SECRETARY A vacancy has arisen in the Survey & Valuation Department at our Brighton office for an experienced Secretary/Audio Typist Duties to include: • Audio typing (55-80 words a minute) • Applicant must be computer ‘Word’ literate.

• Good telephone manner and general communication skills required as duties will include some reception cover.

• Excellent organisation skills required to support Partner and Chartered Surveyor.

Negotiator / Trainee Negotiator – Brighton Area Part Time Negotiator (WEEKENDS) – Brighton Area An opportunity has arisen for both a full time & part time negotiator in the Brighton area. All applicants must be committed to providing flawless customer service and have a flair for developing relationships. Some sales background is preferred. A current driving licence and own car is essential.

Competitive salary Hours: 9am–5:30pm Monday–Friday

To apply for either of these vacancies, please email your CV to:

Apply in writing to: Paul Holder MRICS Parsons Son & Basley 32 Queens Road, Brighton East Sussex BN1 3YE E-Mail: paulholder@psandb.co.uk

Jon.barnes@sequencehome.co.uk or post to: Jon Barnes, Area Director, 117/118 Western Road, Brighton, BN1 2AD

...to advertise call our sales team on 01273 818150

latest jobs 45

000_LS323 FDM

5/23/07

12:52 PM

Page 1

047_LS323_Job Ads

5/23/07

3:58 PM

Page 1

JOBS

jonathan rolls NEGOTIATOR REQUIRED

Well established independent estate agents require an experienced negotiator to join our team. Must have a minimum of two years’ experience, be highly motivated and able to work as part of a team.

A clean driving licence is also essential.

Apply with CV to:

01273 684997

Top Media Jobs Administrator/Project Support – Virtusales.com Limited You will have worked in an administrative role for a minimum of a year and be keen to progress your career with a company that is leading the way in software for book publishers.

SEO/Natural Search Consultant – PROPELLERNET Propellernet is a market leading search agency. We specialise is strategic and integrated search engine marketing solutions and work with a blue chip client base. Our growing team of 20 experts are the best in the industry and are based between our Brighton and London offices.

Matt Evans, Jonathan Rolls Estate Agents 244 Eastern Road, Kemp Town the kemp town enclosures specialists Brighton, East Sussex BN2 5TA Tel: 01273 684997 Web: www.jonathanrolls.com Email: matt@jonathanrolls.com

Boom Ting Account Manager – Nixon McInnes This opportunity is for an organised people-person to join us and develop strong, mutually-beneficial longterm relationships with our clients.

Web developer – DOT We're looking for a talented, enthusiastic and friendly developer. A sound knowledge of PHP, MySQL, XHTML and CSS is essential, along with plenty of experience developing content management systems and ecommerce websites.

Software Developers – Cell Telecom Ltd We are looking for experienced software developers/testers to join our rapidly expanding team based in Brighton. You will be working on one of our cutting edge development projects.

Mac Operator/Junior Artworker – G2 International Marketing Limited We're seeking a talented Mac Operator/Junior Artworker to join our busy design studio. G2 International Marketing's creative portfolio spans a wide variety of projects from Brand Identity, Brochures, Direct Marketing and Exhibitions through to all forms of e-marketing.

Project Manager – Wordtrans Ltd You will need to be able to communicate effectively with suppliers and clients, be able to multi-task, possess good computing experience, and have an eye for detail. Ongoing training will be provided for Déjà Vu, a Translation Memory System.

Sales Director – Oyster Healthcare Communications Ltd We are seeking an open-minded, creative, strategic thinking Sales Director to drive new business. Join a dynamic, creative and growing business where you can work independently, flexibly, be well rewarded and see your best ideas developed and implemented.

.NET Software Developer – Cell Telecom The successful candidate will join our fast growing development team of E-commerce systems where mobility and e-learning projects are examples of up-coming projects.

Sales Executive – Silentworld Ltd Your role will be selling 'white label' fantasy sport games to marketing decision makers in large blue chip brands and medium sized companies.

News Worth continue growth with new account manager Worth, the Brighton based digital communications agency, has continued its growth this year by further recruiting a new Account Manager, Abi Mellor.

Harvey John is a Brighton based independent recruitment agency specialising in accountancy and legal vacancies across the Sussex region.

Experienced consultants are skilled in their particular markets offering permanent and temporary opportunities within Commerce and Industry, Public Practice and the Public Sector/N4P for accountancy vacancies as well as In-house and Private Practice for legal vacancies.

All current vacancies can be found on the website at www.harveyjohn.com or call for more information on 01273 820808.

Plug-in Media Nominated for the "Oscars of the Internet" BRIGHTON, UK 10th April 2007 – The Webby Awards, the leading international award for the Web, today nominated Flash specialists Plug-in Media for the Best Professional Services website of 2007. The site can be seen at www.pluginmedia.net

Killer Creative wins national bathroom showroom account Brighton advertising agency Killer Creative has won a four way pitch to promote national bathroom specialists Reflections Bathrooms. The campaign, comprising lifestyle magazines, local press and local radio campaigns will re-position the brand in addition to promoting the expansion of Reflections and their two new showrooms in Reading and Woking.

The leading nursing and social care recruitment specialist.

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...to advertise call our sales team on 01273 818150

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048_LS323_TVIntro

5/24/07

6:07 PM

Page 2

latestTV

Dani on TV

She says it how she sees it

Films on TV

Super Fly, Friday 1, BBC2, 12.40am

House of Horrors

TUESDAY 29 Fight Club ★★★★✩ (1999, Sci Fi, 9pm. Dir David Fincher) An accessible black comedy that accurately pinpoints and sends up the modern male metropolitan malaise, Edward Norton is perfect as a yuppie whose life changes forever when he turns up for the illegal urban spars organised by Brad Pitt. Startling, sexy and subversive – it’s funny too.

Matt Chittock

WEDNESDAY 30 Saving Private Ryan ★★★★✩ (1998, Five, 9pm. Dir Steven Speilberg) Speilberg’s canny take on the classic WWII flick has transcended its cheesy origins to become a modern classic.

Moving and evocative – the sustained violence of the first 20 minutes is undercut by the occasional schmaltz present in the well-worn plot.

MC

THURSDAY 31 Factotum ★★★✩✩ (2005, Sky Movies Indie, 9pm.

Dir Bent Hamer) Matt Dillon is the boozy ‘man of many jobs’ referred to in the title of this bonedry indie comedy based on the work of cult scribbler Charles Bukowski. If you’re a fan of Chuck’s work and bleak worldview there’s much to appreciate , but for the casual viewer it lacks any real interest.

MC

The Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner ★★★✩✩

SATURDAY 2 Lords of Dogtown ★★✩✩✩ (2005, Sky Movies Indie, 7pm.

Dir Catherine Hardwicke) A dramatic version of the skater story told in the superior documentary Dogtown and the Z-Boys, this average teen drama outlines the rise to cult fame of a group of raggedy skateboarders hanging out and perfecting moves in 70s California.

Great action footage abounds, but the story becomes too hokey as the movie progresses.

MC

Tommy ★★★✩✩ (1975, BBC2, 11.45pm.

Dir Ken Russell) Never one for restrained dignity, Ken Russell went full-on bananas for his bizarre screen adaptation of The Who’s turgid rock opera about a deaf, dumb and blind kid who sure played a mean pinball. Totally ludicrous in design and scope it’s nevertheless a true British avant garde original.

MC

SUNDAY 3 The Harder they Come

FRIDAY 1

★★★★✩ (1973, BBC2, 12.10am. Dir Perry Henzell) A tough Jamaican coming-of-age story that became an instant underground hit courtesy of the excellent reggae soundtrack. Jimmy Cliff stars as a musician who turns outlaw when he kills a corrupt policeman. Cool and ironic, it’s also a clever look at the lure and pitfalls of fatal fame.

MC

Super Fly ★★★★✩

MONDAY 4

(1972, BBC2, 12.40am.

Dir Gordon Parks Jr) Ron O’Neal is the 70s superfly guy taking everyone higher with cheeky lines of cocaine snorted through his crucifix and a cool and deadly funk soundtrack. One of the best period blaxploitation flicks, it’s best viewed behind a couple of rum ‘n cokes and a fug of smoke.

MC

48 latest 7

Movies on the box this week

(1962, Sky Movies Classics, 1.10am.

Dir Tony Richardson) Tom Courtnenay is narkier than ever as a borstal boy with a talent for cross country who cocks a snook at 50s Britain in a classic piece of kitchen-sink drama. Moody and magnificent, the anger still resonates, although some of the New Wave film trickery shows its age.

MC

ITV, Tuesday 5 June You’ve gotta kind of love these programmes. Nothing is more satisfying than seeing people set up, and watching to see whether they rip someone off or not.

This particular programme seems to have been around for ever and, in this show, the ‘set up’ house is in the West Midlands, and the two women living there, one young and one old, are posing as nurses.

The first problem in the house is a spot of damp, so the older lady calls in a company, that has already had complaints, to fix the problem.

Instantly, the expert sitting behind the hidden camera explains that the man fixing the problem is talking rubbish and charging far too much.

My dad is a plumber, and whenever I watch these I am always very nervous that he, or one of his mates will appear on the screen. I’m sure it’s the same for anyone else with a relative or a friend in a trade, but I suppose that’s half the fun of watching: you want to see if a company you have used or a person you know will appear!

After calling the company to see if they can fix the damp in the kitchen, the next fake problem is the aerial for the TVs in the house.

The expert, who will watch the rogue trader, has pulled a couple of wires out of the little box in the loft, and has said that it’s one of the easiest jobs to put right. The traders don’t even look in the loft to see if there’s a problem there, they just tell her they should fit a new everything and rip the old lady off for £300.

Watching this makes me so sad. It’s horrible to think that loads of old and young people are conned each year. It’s even harder to take that old people are conned. I can deal with young people being ripped off, but it’s so hard to deal with seeing old people being done over.

In the second half of this show there is a big piece on these two blokes who preyed on lonely old men to con them out of everything.

They have, including their homes. The two con men have been caught, but the two old men featured have been left with nothing.

It’s horrific to think that people do this. How can they? I have trouble taking a fiver off my nan when she’s offering it, let alone steal everything from her. Still, I suppose the one good thing about watching programmes like this is that they make you slightly more prepared if someone comes knocking on your door, offering their services!

29 May–4 June

Maybe Baby ★✩✩✩✩ (2000, BBC1, 11.45pm. Dir Ben Elton) A pre-House Hugh Laurie is a TV exec fighting both writer’s block and infertility in a characteristically unfunny comedy from Ben Elton. The occasional digs at TV jargon come across well, but Hugh’s role isn’t interesting enough to make you care.

MC

049_LS323_TV_Tue

5/24/07

4:20 PM

Page 1

tuesday 29 E-17 Reunited Channel 4, 10pm Take That got back together so now their ‘rivals’ – the band formerly known as East 17 – are taking their second slice of the pie too. Except this must be their third or fourth slice and it’s getting skinnier by the minute.

Could be more Spinal Tap than great reunite, but this is still worth a gander.

The Old Grey Whistle Test Story BBC2, 11.20pm Fond memories and nostalgia for music lovers everywhere. Jo Brand narrates the life and loves of the old BBC flagship music show that ran from 1971 until 1987, hosted mostly by whispering Bob Harris. With some star turns and inside stories, this covers a music icon.

Children’s TV On Trial BBC4, 9pm For ages the cable BBC channels seemed to be clogged up with British Sex On Trial, examining the dos and don’ts of the British bedroom. Now it’s kids TV’s turn in the dock as 50 years of Listen With Mother and Sooty gets strung up for assessment. Bound to have some good nostalgia clips but rather silly concept.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Animal Park 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.30 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News; Weather 1.30 Regional News And Weather 1.40 Neighbours 2.05 Doctors 2.35 Murder, She Wrote 3.20 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3.25 Pitt And Kantrop 3.50 Watch My Chops 4.00 The Basil Brush Show 4.30 Roman Mysteries 5.00 Blue Peter 5.25 Newsround 5.35 Neighbours

6.00am Fimbles 6.20 The Story Makers 6.35 Balamory 7.00 Postman Pat 7.15 Come Outside 7.30 CBeebies Springwatch 8.00 Springwatch Trackers 8.30 Scooby-Doo 8.50 SMart 9.15 Mona The Vampire 9.40 Watch My Chops 10.05 Best Of Friends 10.35 Even Stevens 11.00 FILM: Whispers: An Elephant’s Tale (2000) 12.10pm Dangermouse 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Garden Invaders 1.30 Animal Park 2.15 Living In The Sun 3.15 Escape To The Country 4.00 Flog It! Ten Of The Best 4.45 Eggheads 5.15 The Weakest Link 6.00 The People’s Quiz – Wildcard Nine challengers compete each day for the chance to win the Wildcard place in the People’s Quiz Grand Final and play for £200,700. Strange amount.

6.30 Let Me Entertain You Brian Conley and Christine Bleakley present the variety show with a timer – if you don’t cut the mustard you’re cut from the show. Brutal.

7.00 The Apprentice The candidates have to select groundbreaking and unusual products from around the world to introduce into the UK market.

8.00 Springwatch Slinkys are so hynotic to gaze at. Oh. Different kind of Springwatch. Flowers ‘n’ stuff.

9.00 Andrew Marr’s History Of Modern Britain The 1950s were a period of apparent calm, order and prosperity for Britain, but much of the populace was hungry for change, many began to distrust the government and protesters and satirists led people to question and mock their rulers. Times a-changin’.

10.00 QI Features Alan Davies, John Sessions, Phill Jupitus, Jimmy Carr.

10.30 Newsnight Jeremy Paxman scares politicians. Yay! 11.20 The Old Grey Whistle Test Story See highlights.

12.00am Springwatch Nightshift 2.00 BBC Learning Zone: Schools: Quinze Minutes 4.00 Vingt Minutes

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 2.00 Inspector Morse 3.00 For The Rest Of Your Life 4.00 Midsomer Murders

6.10am The Hoobs (x2) 7.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 8.00 Just Shoot Me (x2) 8.55 Frasier 9.20 FILM: The Cowboys (1972) 11.40 Small Railway Journeys 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 DEC Darfur And Chad Crisis 12.35 Supporting Acts 12.45 A Place Down Under (x2) 1.45 FILM: The Spanish Gardener (1956) 3.30 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The New Paul O’Grady Show

6.00am The Save-Ums! 6.10 Fifi And The Flowertots 6.25 Franny’s Feet 6.35 Bird Bath 6.45 Hi-5 7.20 Roary The Racing Car 7.30 Rupert Bear 7.45 Make Way For Noddy 8.00 Say It With Noddy 8.05 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.40 Miss Spider’s Sunny Patch Friends 8.50 Sandy And Mr Flapper 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 Five News 12.00pm Home And Away 12.30 House 1.30 FILM: Mogambo (1953) 3.35 FILM: Dawn Anna (2005) 5.30 Five News 6.00 Home And Away Belle makes a horrifying discovery about her abduction. She was smothered in jam and put in an ants’ nest?

6.30 Payday Game show hosted by Colin Murray in which players must find out how much their fellow contestants earn. Like every civilised dinner party.

7.00 Five News 7.15 Cricket On Five Highlights of the final day’s play. If it’s called Test Cricket does that mean they haven’t got it right yet?

8.00 MacIntyre: Edge Of Existence Donal MacIntyre goes to live among ancient peoples in the most demanding locations known to man.

9.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Grissom and Greg investigate a drive-by shooting on a limo that left one man dead.

10.00 CSI: Miami The investigation into an apparent case of road rage uncovers the theft of a $4 million necklace and two bodies.

11.00 Law And Order: Special Victims Unit The mysterious rape of a police officer turns into a nightmare investigation as Internal Affairs try to thwart the squad’s efforts.

12.00am Murder Trail 1.00 NHL Ice Hockey 4.00 Race And Rally UK 4.25 Boxing USA 5.10 French Football – Le Championnat

6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Ocean 7.00 WWE Afterburn 8.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 8.30 Football League 10.30 LIVE Test Cricket (x2) 5.30pm European Seniors Tour Golf 6.30 Revista De La Liga 7.30 LIVE Rugby Union 10.00 Revista De La Liga 11.00 Ladies Euro Tour Golf 12.00am Test Cricket 2.00 Revista De La Liga 3.00 Poker

6.00 BBC News And Weather 6.30 South East Today; Weather 7.00 Celebrity MasterChef Sue Cook, Jeff Green and Nadia Sawalha take on two tests for a place in the quarter-final. Or better still, a higher profile and the possibility of some more telly work.

7.30 EastEnders Bradley convinces Stacey to help him find the elusive Marge. Surely she’s in Springfield.

The carnage as The Simpsons meet The Slaters.

8.30 Holby Blue In his dealings with a local tramp, PC Clifton discovers his compassionate side. It’s on his left side, apparently.

9.30 Ronni Ancona And Co Comedy series starring impressionist Ronni Ancona. She takes off Jordan, Jennifer Saunders, Andie McDowell and Katie Holmes.

10.00 BBC News; Regional News; Weather 10.35 Imagine In the 20th century, Surrealism changed perceptions and broke down the barriers between the world of dreams and the world of everyday reality. Alan Yentob traces the history of the movement.

11.25 FILM: The Last Seduction (1994) Starring Linda Fiorentino, Peter Berg. Erotic thriller.

1.15am Sign Zone: See Hear 1.45 Mystery Flights 2.45 Power To The People 3.45 Missing 4.30 Joins BBC News 24

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Sharon’s choice of fiance sparks some doubts from her family. How many did she get to choose from?

8.00 House Of Horrors This week they come face to face with a plumber who invents jobs that don’t need doing before he quadruples the bill. The team also look at some of the dirty tricks aerial fitters use to make people part with their hardearned cash. Freeview not so free.

9.00 Manhunt – Solving Britain’s Crimes After the first programme was broadcast in December, four of the ten suspects named were arrested as a result. Tonight, Mark Austin and Sarah Heaney come up with a new list of Britain’s ten most wanted men and women‚ sought by police for offences ranging from theft to multiple murder. Keep ‘em peeled.

Plus new scam warnings to make sure you don’t get conned.

10.30 ITV News; Weather 11.00 Cops With Cameras New, high-octane series in which miniature cameras fitted to police uniforms take you to the heart of the action, as police officers around the UK carry out raids and arrest suspects.

12.00am ITV Play: Glitterball 4.05 And Ever... Forever 5.00 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.00 The Simpsons While on summer vacation, Lisa sheds her bookish image in an effort to make new friends. Featuring the guest voice of Christina Ricci.

6.30 Hollyoaks Nancy is thrilled when she discovers that Jake has bought her vampy new shoes for her birthday. Straight to a girl’s heart.

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder: Where There’s A Will 8.00 How To Look Good Naked Stylist Gok Wan meets married mumof-one Becky, who has lost all confidence when it comes to wearing a bikini. Who starts out with bikini confidence? Anyone?

9.00 Gordon Ramsay’s F Word Blur bassist Alex James takes on Gordon in the recipe challenge and David Gest joins the diners in his restaurant.

10.00 E-17 Reunited See highlights.

11.05 Sport’s Dirty Secrets Twopart programme uncovering eighteen of the most shocking scandals.

12.10am PartyPoker.com Premier League Poker 1.10 Red Bull Air Race 2.10 Freesports On 4 2.35 KOTV 3.05 FIA GT Championship 3.35 Lloyds TSB Insurance British F3 International Series 4.00 KOTV Classics 5.00 Monster Garage

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Test Cricket 8.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 8.30 Wild Spirits 9.00 Ocean 9.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 10.00 Darts: Premier League 1.00pm Football League 3.00 Wild Spirits 3.30 Ocean 4.00 Darts: Premier League 7.00 Ladies Euro Tour Golf 8.00 Test Cricket 10.00 European Poker Masters 11.30 Sports Unlimited 12.30am Rugby Union 2.30 The Dogs 3.00 Test Cricket

Sky Sports 3 6.00am LIVE Test Cricket 12.00pm Sky Sports Classics 12.30 Super League 2.30 World Motor Sport 5.00 WWE Smackdown 7.00 Ocean 7.30 The Dogs 8.00 Test Cricket 10.00 European Seniors Tour Golf 11.00 Women’s Squash 12.00am Women’s Squash 1.00 Women’s Pool 3.00 European Seniors Tour Golf

Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

1.00pm Catch-Up Project Runway 2.00 Best Of Bones (x2) 4.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 6.00 Malcolm In The Middle (x2) 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Brainiac: Science Abuse 9.00 Road Wars 10.00 Badger Or Bust 11.00 Best Of Bones 12.00am Law And Order 1.00 Star Trek: Voyager 1.50 Ultimate Super Villains

7.00pm Say No To The Knife 8.00 The Real Hustle 8.30 The Scam Squad 9.00 Filthy Rich And Homeless 10.00 EastEnders 11.00 Sex... With Mum And Dad 12.00am Family Guy (x2) 12.45 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps (x2) 1.45 The Scam Squad 2.15 Sex... With Mum And Dad 3.10 Two Pints Of Lager (x2)

7.30pm Children’s News 8.10 Doctor Who 8.55 The Magic Roundabout 9.00 Children’s TV On Trial. See highlights. 10.00 You Must Be Number One – Shanghai Circus School: Storyville 11.20 Children’s News 12.00am Children’s TV On Trial 1.00 You Must Be Number One – Shanghai Circus School: Storyville

12.30pm Coronation Street 1.00 Emmerdale 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.40 The Ricki Lake Show 4.25 Sally Jessy Raphael 5.15 Airline USA 5.45 Movies Now 6.00 American Idol: The Finale (x2) 9.00 FILM: Bridget Jones: The Edge Of Reason (2004) 11.00 Big Day 11.30 FILM: American Pie II (2001)

12.55pm Robin Of Sherwood 2.00 Never The Twain 2.35 Is It Legal? 3.05 Pie In The Sky 4.10 Cagney And Lacey 5.15 Quincy, ME 6.15 Is It Legal? 6.50 Lovejoy 8.00 The Bill: Inner Demons 9.00 Ruth Rendell’s Inspector Wexford: Kissing The Gunner’s Daughter 11.00 Bramwell 12.05am Lovejoy

2.00pm Switched 2.30 The OC (x2) 4.30 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 The War At Home 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 What About Brian 10.00 Big Brother: According To Russell Brand 11.05 Big Brother: The Love Stories 12.05am Scrubs (x2) 1.05 The War At Home

1.05pm Deal Or No Deal 2.00 ER 3.00 The Practice 4.00 FILM: Three Came Home (1950) 6.00 3 Minute Wonder 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 More4 News 8.30 The Daily Show 9.00 The River Cottage Treatment 10.00 Lie Of The Land 11.35 NYPD Blue 12.35am The Daily Show

1.30pm Will And Grace (x2) 2.30 I Dream Of Jeannie 3.00 Grey’s Anatomy 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 The X Files 8.00 Exposed: Paris Hilton 9.00 Most Haunted: Recurring Nightmares 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am The X Files 1.00 Most Haunted

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

12.00pm Doctor Who 1.00 My Family 1.40 Keeping Up Appearances 2.20 Open All Hours 3.00 New Tricks (x2) 5.00 Dallas 6.00 Doctor Who 7.00 FILM: Carry On Girls (1973) 8.45 Alistair McGowan’s Big Impression 8.55 Icons 9.00 Jonathan Creek 10.10 New Tricks 11.30 Jack Dee’s Happy Hour (x2) 12.50am Porridge

3.00pm Two And A Half Men (x2) 4.00 King Of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Frasier (x2) 7.00 Becker (x2) 8.00 That 70s Show (x2) 9.00 King Of Queens (x2) 10.00 Sex And The City (x2) 11.10 South Park 11.40 Comedy Store 12.10am The World Comedy Tour 2004 1.10 Sex And The City (x2)

12.00pm Mythbusters 1.00 Deadliest Catch 2.00 The FBI Files 3.00 Forensic Detectives 4.00 Time Team 5.00 How It’s Made (x2) 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 Mythbusters 8.00 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls 9.00 Deadliest Catch 10.00 The World’s Toughest Tribes 11.00 Most Deadly 12.00am The FBI Files

12.00pm Farscape 1.00 Star Trek 2.00 The Lost World 3.00 FILM: Lightning: Bolts Of Destruction (2003) 5.00 Dark Angel 6.00 The Lost World 7.00 Roswell 8.00 Dark Angel 9.00 FILM: Fight Club (1999) 11.35 George Lucas In Love 11.45 Medium 12.45am Erotic Misadventures Of The Invisible Man

9.35am Lawrence Of Arabia (1962) 1.10pm Private Life Of Sherlock Holmes (1970) 3.20 Evil Of Frankenstein (1964) 4.55 Walk, Don’t Run (1966) 6.50 Private Life Of Sherlock Holmes (1970) 9.00 Lawrence Of Arabia (1962) 12.35am One Of Our Aircraft Is Missing (1942) 2.35 Guns Of August (1964)

12.00pm Apres Vous (2003) 2.00 Tube Tales (1999) 4.00 The Last Mitterand (2005) 6.00 China: The Panda Adventure (2001) 7.00 Apres Vous (2003) 9.00 Mean Creek (2004) 10.35 Bang (1994) 12.20am Tube Tales (1999) 2.00 The Last Mitterand (2005) 4.00 Close

1.00pm The Vicious Circle (1957) 2.45 Whirlpool (1949) 4.55 Ticket To Tomahawk (1950) 6.40 Ed TV (1999) 9.00 One Hour Photo (2002) 10.45 The Football Factory (2004) 12.25am Rumble Fish (1983) Great 80s indie flick with Matt Dillon and Mickey Rourke. 2.10 Senseless (1998)

6.55am Ten Thousand Bedrooms (1957) 9.00 Waterloo Bridge (1940) 11.00 Bachelor In Paradise (1961) 1.00pm High Society (1956) 3.00 The Tender Trap (1955) 5.00 Sunday In New York (1963) 7.10 The Prisoner Of Zenda (1952) 9.00 The Dirty Dozen (1967) 11.45 Operation Crossbow (1965) 2.05am Teleshopping

Classics

Indie

050_LS323_TV_Wed

5/24/07

11:23 AM

Page 1

wednesday 30 Big Brother: Live Launch Show Channel 4, 9pm It’s baaack! After attacks, police enquiries, international scandal and Jade Goody getting dropped from Comic Relief, the regular Davina-hosted ‘please do not swear’ pleb version is hitting our screens again. And everyone’s saying they won’t watch it. But they will really. Including you.

Mumbai Calling ITV1, 10pm Sanjeev Bhaskar – he of Goodness Gracious Me – is back in the comedic drama fold, starring in this tale of a man sent to run a newly acquired call centre in Mumbai, accompanied by his boss’s pampered daughter Tiffany and battling against the unscrupulous motives of manager Dev. Poor boy.

Agatha Christie’s Poirot ITV3, 9pm Determined to avoid Big Brother?

Where better to hide your head in the sand at the time of its launch than with David Suchet and his little grey cells. Yes, we’re talking about that unstoppable Belgian detective Hercule Poirot. A murder mystery weekend turns foul and the moustachioed one steps into the breach. Our hero.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Animal Park 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.30 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News; Weather 1.30 Regional News And Weather 1.40 Neighbours 2.05 Doctors 2.35 Murder, She Wrote 3.20 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3.25 Pitt And Kantrop 3.50 The Cramp Twins 4.00 Prank Patrol 4.30 Raven 5.00 Blue Peter 5.25 Newsround 5.35 Neighbours

6.00am Fimbles 6.20 The Story Makers 6.35 Balamory 7.00 Postman Pat 7.15 Come Outside 7.30 CBeebies Springwatch 8.00 Springwatch Trackers 8.30 Scooby-Doo 8.50 SMart 9.15 Mona The Vampire 9.40 Watch My Chops 10.05 Best Of Friends 10.35 Even Stevens 11.00 FILM: International Velvet (1978) 1.05pm Dangermouse 1.30 Working Lunch 2.00 The Flying Gardener 2.15 Living In The Sun 3.15 Escape To The Country 4.00 Flog It! Ten Of The Best 4.45 Eggheads 5.15 The Weakest Link

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 2.00 Inspector Morse 3.00 For The Rest Of Your Life 4.00 Midsomer Murders

6.00am The Treacle People 6.10 The Hoobs (x2) 7.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 8.00 Just Shoot Me (x2) 8.55 Frasier 9.20 FILM: The Three Musketeers (1948) 11.45 Proud Parents 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 Supporting Acts 12.50 A Place Down Under (x2) 1.55 FILM: Titanic (1996) 3.30 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The New Paul O’Grady Show

6.00am Revista De La Liga 7.00 WWE Heat 8.00 Ladies Euro Tour Golf 9.00 Test Cricket 11.00 Rugby Union 1.00pm Golf: Euro Pro Tour 3.00 Ladies Euro Tour Golf 4.00 Rugby Union 6.00 European Tour Weekly 6.30 Total Rugby 7.00 LIVE International Football 9.45 Golf: Euro Pro Tour 11.45 International Football 1.15am Total Rugby 1.45 Speedway: Elite League 3.45 European Poker Masters

6.00 BBC News And Weather 6.30 South East Today; Weather 7.00 Celebrity MasterChef Matthew Wright, Lorne Spicer and Jeremy Edwards take on two tests for a place in the quarter-final.

Looking pretty doesn’t count.

7.30 The Green Green Grass Llewellyn’s farm is doing badly and Boycie’s farm is doing well, so Llewellyn challenges him to a pub quiz in the hope of winning £5,000.

No rural lessons here, just drinking.

8.00 Traffic Cops Documentary series about traffic police.

9.00 The Apprentice The teams are challenged to sell goods live on TV. But before this, they have to choose the products they think will bring in the cash. One team goes for safe mid-price items, while the other decides to take a risk on some higherpriced products. Oh, the tightrope of the boardroom beckons.

10.00 BBC News; Regional News; Weather 10.35 The National Lottery Draws 10.45 The 34 Stone Teenager: Six Months On Update on Bethany Walton, Britain’s fattest teenager.

11.45 FILM: The Governess (1997) Starring Minnie Driver and Jonathan Rhys-Meyers. Period drama.

1.40am Sign Zone: Horizon 2.30 Neneh And Andi Dish It Up 3.00 Sweet Baby James 3.30 Missing 4.15 Joins BBC News 24

6.00 The People’s Quiz – Wildcard Nine challengers compete each day for the chance to win the Wildcard place in the People’s Quiz Grand Final and play for £200,700. Want it.

6.30 Let Me Entertain You Television talent show with a gong element. One ‘gong’ and you’re gone.

7.00 Jonathan Meades: Abroad Again Jonathan Meades tells the story of Letchworth, the first British garden city.

7.50 Coast: Wales – Severn Bore Nicholas Crane explores the coast of South Wales.

8.00 Springwatch Bill Oddie, Kate Humble and Simon King present wildlife stories from around the country, including a new instalment of Fox Diary from the heart of Glasgow. Yes, Glasgow. You never heard of city foxes?

9.00 Natural World Wildlife documentary.

9.50 Wild Dive: HMS Scylla 10.00 The Apprentice: You’re Fired Adrian Chiles and guests grill the newly fired candidate from The Apprentice. The fired one hunkers down and pretends to be at one with the chair.

10.30 Newsnight Jeremy Paxman grills the rulers of this country.

11.20 Wedding Stories 12.15am Springwatch Nightshift 2.00 BBC Learning Zone: Schools: Clementine 4.00 Isabel

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale There are fireworks when Val can’t hold her tongue at Sharon’s wedding. It’s very difficult to get a grip on one’s own tongue. It’s wet, y’see.

7.30 Coronation Street Kirk tries to piece his life back together after losing Fiz. Find the corners first and then work your way in.

8.00 The British Soap Awards 2007 Phillip Schofield and Fern Britton present the British Soap Awards 2007, as the UK’s top five soaps – Coronation Street, Doctors, EastEnders, Emmerdale and Hollyoaks – compete for the 17 awards on offer, in a star-studded, glamorous evening of entertainment. Hang on – when did Doctors become a top 5 soap?!

Re-educate yourself with what the execs think you’re watching and giggle ruthlessly into a cushion.

Or just raucously out loud.

10.00 Mumbai Calling See highlights.

10.30 ITV News; Weather 11.00 Neighbours From Hell Yet more tales of nightmare neighbours from across Britain. More than a simple tennis ball in the guttering.

12.00am ITV Play: Glitterball 4.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 5.00 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.00am The Save-Ums! 6.10 Fifi And The Flowertots 6.25 Franny’s Feet 6.35 Bird Bath 6.45 Hi-5 7.20 Roary The Racing Car 7.30 Rupert Bear 7.45 Make Way For Noddy 8.00 Say It With Noddy 8.05 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.40 Miss Spider’s Sunny Patch Friends 8.50 Sandy And Mr Flapper 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 Five News 12.00pm Home And Away 12.30 House 1.30 Russell Grant’s Postcards 1.40 FILM: Columbo (1973) 3.40 FILM: The Pilot’s Wife (2002) 5.30 News 6.00 Home And Away Martha gets more than she bargained for at the Rocket Club. No Frissi Bar then?

6.30 Payday Game show in which players must find out how much their fellow contestants earn. Frightfully rude, really!

7.00 Five News 7.15 Game Ranger Diaries A team of rangers searching for a missing white rhino eventually find it – with a two day old baby. Ahh. Actually, it’s probably quite protective and likely to charge. Step away from the baby.

8.00 Families At War Five families will each spend three days at a country house in a beautiful part of Norfolk, where the calming country air can work its magic. Trisha Goddard’s first family consists of a group of sisters at war. Bound to be over the TV remote control.

9.00 FILM: Saving Private Ryan (1998) Starring Tom Hanks, Ed Burns, Tom Sizemore, Ted Danson, Matt Damon and Jeremy Davies. Oscarwinning World War II drama combining the story of an unusual rescue mission with an overwhelmingly powerful recreation of the D-Day landings.

12.20am PartyPoker.com - Poker Den: The Big Game 1.50 Major League Baseball 4.50 Motorsport Mundial 5.10 IndyCar Series

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Zoe is still wary of going into Will’s room, but she wants to move on and is happy to offer it to Gilly. But when Elliot appears, Zoe offers the room to him too.

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder: Where There’s A Will 8.00 Property Ladder Sarah Beeny meets a couple who have ploughed their money into an old cargo ship they intend to renovate as a houseboat, but they need a good mooring location to enable it to increase in value. Location, eh?

9.00 Big Brother: Live Launch Show Davina McCall hosts a live programme to launch the eighth series. See highlights.

10.15 Desperate Housewives Bree and Orson return to Wisteria Lane for Gaby and Victor’s wedding, and there’s a surprise wedding in an unexpected place.

11.20 Big Brother’s Big Mouth The Big Brother debate show. Not hosted

by Russell Brand. Ooh! Controversial.

11.50 Paul McCartney: Video Exclusive 11.55 Balls Of Steel 12.45am Paul McCartney: Video Exclusive 12.50 Big Brother Live 4.40 Greetings From Tucson 5.05 The Bernie Mac Show 5.30 Countdown

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Test Cricket 8.00 Sports Unlimited 9.00 Ocean 9.30 Heritage Grand Touring Car Challenge 10.00 Powerboating 10.30 European Poker Masters 12.00pm Ladies Euro Tour Golf 1.00 Revista De La Liga 2.00 Squash (x2) 4.00 European Seniors Tour Golf 5.00 European Poker Masters 6.30 Trans World Sport 7.30 LIVE Speedway: Elite League 9.30 Irish Greyhound Racing 10.00 Trans World Sport 11.00 Ocean 11.30 Irish Greyhound Racing 12.00am European Tour Weekly 12.30 Golf: Euro Pro Tour

Sky Sports 3 6.30am Women’s Pool 8.30 Women’s Squash (x2) 10.30 The Dogs 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Women’s Pool 2.00 Ocean 2.30 Heritage Grand Touring Car Challenge 3.00 The Dogs 3.30 Ocean 4.00 Sports Unlimited 5.00 WWE The Bottom Line 6.00 WWE Afterburn 7.00 Irish Greyhound Racing 7.30 Showjumping 8.30 Ocean 9.00 Total Rugby 9.30 Watersports World 10.30 Tenpin Bowling: World Masters 11.30 European Tour Weekly 12.00am Showjumping 12.30 Watersports World 1.00 Women’s Pool 2.00 Watersports World 3.00 Max Power

Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

9.00am Malcolm In The Middle (x2) 10.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 12.00pm Buffy 1.00 Catch-Up Project Runway 2.00 Best Of Bones (x2) 4.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 6.00 Malcolm In The Middle (x2) 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Futurama (x2) 9.00 Pandemic 10.00 Lost 11.00 Lost 12.00am Best Of Bones 1.00 Law And Order

7.00pm Little Shopping Horrors! 8.00 Wedding Stories: Odd Couples 9.00 FILM: Species (1995) 10.40 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps (x2) 11.40 The Real Hustle (x2) 12.40am Football Gaffes Galore 1.10 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps (x2) 2.10 The Real Hustle (x2)

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 The Story Of Jackanory 8.30 Indian School 9.00 Children’s TV On Trial 10.00 In Teenagers’ Bedrooms: Teenland 11.00 Are We Having Fun Yet? 12.00am Children’s TV On Trial 1.00 In Teenagers’ Bedrooms: Teenland 2.00 Are We Having Fun Yet?

3.40pm The Ricki Lake Show 4.25 Sally Jessy Raphael 5.10 Airline USA 5.35 Judge Judy 6.00 The British Soap Awards 2007: The Stars Arrive 7.00 Smallville 8.00 Builders From Hell 9.00 FILM: American Pie II (2001) 11.00 The British Soap Awards 2007: The Party 12.00am Coronation Street

12.50pm Robin Of Sherwood 2.00 Never The Twain 2.30 Is It Legal? 3.00 Pie In The Sky 4.05 Cagney And Lacey 5.05 Quincy, ME 6.10 Is It Legal? 6.45 Film File 7.00 Lovejoy 9.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot.

See highlights. 10.05 Rising Damp 10.40 FILM: Mr And Mrs Bridge (1990) 1.10am Lovejoy

2.00pm Switched 2.30 The OC (x2) 4.30 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 The War At Home 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Ugly Betty 10.00 Funny Cuts: Musical Storytellers Ginger And Black 10.15 Big Brother Live 12.45am Big Brother’s Big Mouth 1.15 Big Brother Live

12.35pm A Place In The Sun 1.15 Deal Or No Deal 2.00 ER 3.00 The Practice 4.00 FILM: The Adventurers (1950) 5.35 A Place In The Sun 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 More4 News 8.30 The Daily Show 9.00 The Child Sex Trade 10.00 Sex Change Hospital 11.05 NYPD Blue 12.00am The Daily Show

1.30pm Will And Grace (x2) 2.30 I Dream Of Jeannie 3.00 Grey’s Anatomy 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 The X Files 8.00 Canada’s Next Top Model 9.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 10.00 Boston Legal 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am The X Files

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

12.00pm Doctor Who 1.00 My Family 1.40 Keeping Up Appearances 2.20 Open All Hours 3.00 Dalziel And Pascoe 5.00 Dallas 6.00 Doctor Who 7.00 FILM: Carry On Up The Khyber (1968) 9.00 Dalziel And Pascoe 11.20 Jack Dee’s Happy Hour (x2) 12.40am Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps

3.00pm Two And A Half Men (x2) 4.00 King Of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Frasier (x2) 7.00 Becker (x2) 8.00 That 70s Show (x2) 9.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 10.00 Sex And The City (x2) 11.10 South Park 11.40 Comedy Store 12.10am The World Comedy Tour 2004

12.00pm Mythbusters 1.00 Deadliest Catch 2.00 The FBI Files 3.00 Forensic Detectives 4.00 Time Team 5.00 How It’s Made (x2) 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 Mythbusters 8.00 How Do They Do It? 8.30 How It’s Made 9.00 Superships 10.00 Most Deadly 11.00 Minutes From Disaster 12.00am The FBI Files

12.00pm Farscape 1.00 Star Trek 2.00 The Lost World 3.00 FILM: Tornado Warning (2002) 5.00 Dark Angel 6.00 The Lost World 7.00 Roswell 8.00 Dark Angel 9.00 Heroes 10.00 FILM: Death Row (2006) 11.50 Medium 1.00am FILM: Emmanuelle’s Private Collection: Sex Lives Of Ghosts (2005)

2.45pm Steptoe And Son (1972) 4.45 The Big Clock (1948) 6.35 Chaplin Today: A King In New York 7.10 The Far Country (1955) 9.00 Steptoe And Son (1972) 10.55 A Lovely Way To Die (1968) 12.55am I Want To Live! (1958) 3.05 A Lovely Way To Die (1968) 5.05 The Palm Beach Story (1942)

12.00pm The Portrait Of A Lady (1996) 2.30 Shoot The Pianist (1962) 4.00 The Last Metro (1980) 6.10 Hail Columbia! (1982) 7.00 The Consequences Of Love (2004) 9.00 The Ice Storm (1997) 10.55 The Portrait Of A Lady (1996) 1.20am The Consequences Of Love (2004)

1.00pm The Day Will Dawn (1942) 3.00 The Drum (1938) 4.50 Julia (1977) 7.05 Brewster’s Millions (1985) 9.00 Trading Places (1983) The film that first brought Eddie Murphy to your attention, back when he worked hard for it. 11.15 The Business (2005) 1.05am You Can Count On Me (2000)

6.55am The Power (1968) 8.45 The Green Years (1946) 11.00 Show Boat (1951) 1.00pm San Antonio (1945) 3.00 The Women (1939) 5.30 Father Of The Bride (1950) 7.15 Many Rivers To Cross (1955) 9.00 Fearless (1993) 11.15 Zabriskie Point (1969) 1.20am San Quentin (1937) 2.35 Teleshopping 2.55 The Champ (1979)

Classics

Indie

051_LS323_TV_Thu

5/24/07

11:33 AM

Page 1

thursday 31 Hustle BBC1, 9pm Oh, the boys and girl are feeling chuffed. Another con has gone their way and they’ve got away with the loot. They’re enjoying their celebrations at Eddie’s bar until this bloke turns up. Oops.

‘Apparently’ they’ve dishonoured his family and he’s very cross.

Surely not our heroes! Well, probably. Trouble looms.

Mary, Queen Of Shops BBC2, 9pm What Kitchen Nightmares did for restaurants, Mary Portas promises for small shops – starting with Brighton’s very own Ju-Ju. Run by Soly and Tim for over a decade, this fashion store is having a hard time competing with the low-cost clothing jamming up the high street. Time for some Mary magic.

Big Brother’s Little Brother E4, 7.30pm If you build it they will come.

And so they did to the new Big Brother house. And what Big Brother would be complete without the competitions, interviews, commentary and downright enthusiasm for the whole BB kit and caboodle you can only get from Dermot O’Leary. Time to feast on fun.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Animal Park 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.30 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News; Weather 1.30 Regional News And Weather 1.40 Neighbours 2.05 Doctors 2.35 Murder, She Wrote 3.20 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3.25 Pitt And Kantrop 3.55 Watch My Chops 4.10 The Basil Brush Show 4.35 Dinosapien 5.00 Blue Peter 5.25 Newsround 5.35 Neighbours

6.00am Fimbles 6.20 The Story Makers 6.35 Balamory 7.00 Postman Pat 7.15 Come Outside 7.30 CBeebies Springwatch 8.00 Springwatch Trackers 8.30 Scooby-Doo 8.50 SMart 9.15 Mona The Vampire 9.40 Watch My Chops 10.05 Best Of Friends 10.35 Even Stevens 11.00 FILM: The Three Caballeros (1945) 12.10pm Dangermouse 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Garden Invaders 1.30 Animal Park 2.15 Living In The Sun 3.15 Escape To The Country 4.00 Flog It! Ten Of The Best 4.45 Eggheads 5.15 The Weakest Link 6.00 The People’s Quiz – Wildcard Nine challengers compete each day for the chance to win the Wildcard place in the People’s Quiz Grand Final and play for £200,700. S’mine.

6.30 Let Me Entertain You Variety gong show – the best way to put extra stress on a televised performer.

Oh, the gladiatoral ring is not dead.

7.00 This World International investigative documentary series.

7.30 The Museum Documentary that goes behind the scenes at the British Museum. Looking at the outside of the BM instead of the inside.

8.00 Springwatch Marathon wildlife event. No races or old styley chocolate included though.

9.00 Mary, Queen Of Shops See highlights.

10.00 The Graham Norton Show Graham Norton presents a show focusing on people, trends, stories and the aspects of celebrity culture that interest him most, featuring trademark Norton comedy. Graham is joined by Matt Lucas and Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber.

10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Wedding Stories Val and Lisa are planning a Rocky Horror-style wedding, complete with coffin. Wow! Not much more you can say to that.

12.15am Springwatch Nightshift 2.00 BBC Learning Zone: Schools: Susanne 4.00 Le Cafe Des Reves

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 2.00 Inspector Morse 3.00 For The Rest Of Your Life 4.00 Midsomer Murders

6.15am The Treacle People 6.25 The Hoobs (x2) 7.15 Just Shoot Me 7.45 Big Brother: Live Launch Show 9.00 Frasier 9.25 FILM: The Prince And The Pauper (1977) 11.40 Small Railway Journeys 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 Supporting Acts 12.50 A Place Down Under (x2) 1.50 FILM: Titanic (1996) 3.30 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The New Paul O’Grady Show

6.00am The Save-Ums! 6.10 Fifi And The Flowertots 6.25 Franny’s Feet 6.35 Bird Bath 6.45 Hi-5 7.20 Roary The Racing Car 7.30 Rupert Bear 7.45 Make Way For Noddy 8.00 Say It With Noddy 8.05 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.40 Miss Spider’s Sunny Patch Friends 8.50 Sandy And Mr Flapper 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 Five News 12.00pm Home And Away 12.30 House 1.30 FILM: Before Winter Comes (1969) 3.30 FILM: The Battle Of The V1 (1960) 5.30 Five News 6.00 Home And Away The lads bare all for a good cause. Ratings.

6.30 Payday Game show hosted by Colin Murray in which players must find out how much their fellow contestants earn. Rich man’s bluff?

7.00 Five News 7.15 Getting On The Property Ladder First programme in the series of the property show. Wannabe homeowners Bronwen and Matt search for their ideal first home in the beautiful rural setting of Shropshire.

8.00 Build A New Life In The Country Architect George Clarke meets people chasing dream homes and new lives. They run fast!

9.00 House A fireman is treated for suspected male menopause, before House’s team realise that he has actually suffered a series of heart attacks. What a mistake-a to make-a!

10.00 Shark Stark’s attempt to bring down an arms dealer brings him into conflict with the FBI and has deadly consequences for one of his people.

11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Grissom’s team track a killer to a convention for plus-sized people; and Catherine’s team investigate when a large sum of cash and betting slips are found near a badly mutilated body.

12.00am Quiz Call 12.45 NHL Ice Hockey 4.00 Dutch Football 5.10 IndyCar Series

6.00am Trans World Sport 7.00 WWE Experience 8.00 International Football 9.30 Total Rugby 10.00 LIVE Euro Tour Golf 1.00pm International Football 2.30 LIVE Cricket: Friends Provident Trophy (x2) 10.00 Trans World Sport 11.00 Golf Night 1.30am Trans World Sport

6.00 BBC News And Weather 6.30 South East Today; Weather 7.00 Celebrity MasterChef Angela Rippon, Christopher Bisson and Darren Bennett take on two tests for a place in the quarter-final. What qualifies one as a celebrity these days? And who’s Darren Bennett?

7.30 EastEnders Carly sets out to wreak revenge on Chelsea. Bury one ‘Enders family feud only to see another blossom up in its place.

8.00 Holby City Joseph sets out to save his parents’ marriage. Will Lady Byrne’s appearance be enough to change Jac’s mind? Jac – woman of steel, feel guilt? Could happen.

Maybe. In theory. Hmm. 9.00 Hustle See highlights.

10.00 BBC News; Regional News; Weather 10.35 Question Time Topical debate from Stratford-upon-Avon, chaired by David Dimbleby.

11.35 FILM: The Fourth Protocol (1986) Starring Michael Caine, Pierce Brosnan, Joanna Cassidy, Ned Beatty, Ray McAnally and Ian Richardson.

Espionage thriller about a British agent who uncovers – and attempts to foil – a Russian plot to set off a nuclear bomb near a US air base.

Based on a Frederick Forsyth novel.

1.35am Sign Zone: Panorama 2.05 Rick Stein In Du Maurier Country 2.55 Natural World 3.45 Missing 4.30 Joins BBC News 24

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Val’s attempts to apologise go horribly wrong. Lisa worries about Debbie’s recent behaviour. Only recent?

7.30 Country Ways A film portrait of the village of Cocking in West Sussex, shot during a week in late August. Recognise anyone?

8.00 The Bill It’s Phil’s last day in uniform and he’s determined to see some action on the streets, so Smithy pairs him up with a reluctant Leela.

After the pair witness a mugging, Phil finds £15,000 in the victim’s bag. Not a quiet last day. Yay! 9.00 The Last Detective When local businessman Daniel Boden is found stabbed to death at the wheel of his car, DC Dangerous Davies discovers he was caught up in a lucrative insurance scam set up by a secret gentlemen’s club. Did the butler do it?

10.30 ITV News; Weather 11.00 Dating The Enemy Single glamour model Daniela would never dream of dating a Northerner, but DJ Tony believes he is the one Northern lad who can change her mind. How attractive snobbery can be. Not. 11.35 Marilyn Manson’s Orange Playlist 12.00am ITV Play: Make Your Play 4.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 5.00 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.00 The Simpsons The Simpsons relocate to another community after Homer unwittingly takes a job with a company controlled by a super-villain.

6.30 Hollyoaks Steph is annoyed that Jake fell asleep in the same bed as Nancy, and decides to find Nancy a boyfriend, setting her up on a date with Zak. That’ll learn her.

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder: Where There’s A Will 8.00 How Clean Is Your House?

Kim and Aggie are in called in by Tower Hamlets Council in London to help out with their rat problem. Just what you want to see at dinner time.

8.30 Embarrassing Illnesses Patients in today’s show are suffering from asymmetrical breasts, STD nightmares, deformed toenails and in-growing hair. Nice.

9.00 Queen Camilla Looking at the inside story of Charles and Camilla’s relationship, as friends and former staff break their silence. Not very good friends, then.

10.00 Big Brother Highlights of the first 24 hours in the new BB house.

11.05 FILM: Wolf Creek (2005) Starring Cassandra Magreth.

Australian horror film.

1.00am Big Brother Live 3.35 Trans World Sport 4.25 Greetings From Tucson 4.55 The Bernie Mac Show 5.15 Countdown

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Ocean 7.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 7.30 Ocean 8.00 Watersports World 9.00 Ocean 9.30 Speedway: Elite League 11.30 European Poker Masters 1.00pm Speedway: Elite League 3.00 LIVE Euro Tour Golf 6.00 IAAF Athletix Weekly 6.30 Powerboat: P1 World Championship 7.30 Golf Night 10.00 Netball: Super League 12.00am Poker Week 12.30 Race World 1.30 Rugby League 3.30 Boots N All Special 4.00 Extreme Carp

Sky Sports 3 8.30am Showjumping 9.30 Irish Greyhound Racing 10.00 Women’s Pool 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Watersports World 1.00 Women’s Pool 2.00 Ocean 2.30 Wild Spirits 3.00 Showjumping 4.00 Tenpin Bowling: World Masters 5.00 WWE Heat 6.00 Extreme Carp 6.30 NBA Basketball 7.00 ATP Tennis 7.30 LIVE Rugby League 9.30 LIVE Boots N All Special 10.00 WWE Raw 12.00am Extreme Championship Wrestling 1.00 IAAF Athletix Weekly 2.00 Race World 3.00 Poker Week

Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

12.00pm Buffy 1.00 CatchUp Project Runway 2.00 Best Of Bones (x2) 4.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 6.00 Malcolm In The Middle (x2) 7.00 The Simpsons (x4) 9.00 Best Of Bones 10.00 Cold Case 11.00 Best Of Bones 12.00am Law And Order 1.00 Star Trek: Voyager 1.50 Buffy 2.40 Ultimate Sci-Fi Top 10: Moments

7.00pm Little Shopping Horrors! 8.00 Filthy Rich And Homeless 9.00 Road Rage Revenge 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Gavin And Stacey 11.00 Pulling 11.30 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps (x2) 12.30am Filthy Rich And Homeless 1.30 Road Rage Revenge 2.30 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps (x2)

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 The Avengers 8.20 From Grange Hill To Albert Square... And Beyond 9.00 Children’s TV On Trial 10.00 Mark Lawson Talks To Biddy Baxter 11.00 Are We Having Fun Yet? 12.00am Children’s TV On Trial 1.00 Mark Lawson Talks To Biddy Baxter 2.00 Are We Having Fun Yet?

1.00pm Emmerdale 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.40 The Ricki Lake Show 4.25 Sally Jessy Raphael 5.15 Airline USA 5.45 Judge Judy 7.00 Smallville 8.00 House Of Horrors 9.00 Katie & Peter: The Next Chapter..... Meningitis And Me 10.00 Generation Xcess: Drugs & Drink 11.00 Supernatural

12.00pm Cagney And Lacey 1.00 Robin Of Sherwood 2.05 Never The Twain 2.35 Is It Legal? 3.05 Pie In The Sky 4.10 Cagney And Lacey 5.10 Quincy, ME 6.10 Is It Legal? 6.45 Movies Now 6.55 Lovejoy 8.00 The Two Ronnies 9.00 Hack 10.00 The Commander 11.30 Lovejoy 12.40am Heartbeat

12.25pm Big Brother: Live Launch Show 1.40 Big Brother Live 4.05 Hollyoaks 4.40 Friends (x2) 5.40 Big Brother: Live Launch Show 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Big Brother’s Little Brother. See highlights. 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 ER 10.00 Celebrity Wife Swap 11.00 Big Brother’s Big Mouth 11.35 Big Brother Live

12.35pm A Place In The Sun 1.05 Deal Or No Deal 2.00 ER 3.00 The Practice 4.00 FILM: The History Of Mr Polly (1949) 5.45 3 Minute Wonder (x4) 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs Revisited 8.00 More4 News 8.30 The Daily Show 9.00 Property Ladder 10.00 Without A Trace 11.00 NYPD Blue

1.30pm Will And Grace (x2) 2.30 I Dream Of Jeannie 3.00 Grey’s Anatomy 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 The X Files 8.00 Kath And Kim 8.30 Campus Ladies 9.00 CSI: Miami 10.00 Grey’s Anatomy 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am The X Files

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

2.20pm Open All Hours 3.00 New Tricks (x2) 5.00 Dallas 6.00 Doctor Who 7.00 FILM: Carry On Loving (1970) 8.45 Alistair McGowan’s Big Impression 8.55 Icons 9.00 TV Now And Then (x2) 10.20 Only Fools And Horses 11.25 Jack Dee’s Happy Hour (x2) 12.45am Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps 1.25 Room 101 (x2)

3.00pm Two And A Half Men (x2) 4.00 King Of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Frasier (x2) 7.00 Becker (x2) 8.00 That 70s Show (x2) 9.00 Scrubs (x2) 10.00 Sex And The City (x2) 11.10 South Park 11.40 Comedy Store 12.10am Live In Brighton 1.10 Sex And The City (x2) 2.20 South Park

2.00pm The FBI Files 3.00 Forensic Detectives 4.00 Time Team 5.00 How It’s Made (x2) 6.00 American Chopper: Mikey Special 7.00 Mythbusters 8.00 How Do They Do It? 8.30 How It’s Made 9.00 Scientific Guinea Pigs 10.00 Deadliest Catch 11.00 The World’s Toughest Tribes 12.00am The FBI Files

1.00pm Star Trek 2.00 The Lost World 3.00 FILM: Avalanche (1994) 4.35 Psychic Detectives 5.00 Dark Angel 6.00 The Lost World 7.00 Roswell 8.00 Dark Angel 9.00 Stephen King’s Nightmares And Dreamscapes 10.00 Stephen King’s The Stand 11.00 Heroes 12.00am FILM: Fight Club (1999)

12.25pm Romeo And Juliet (1968) 2.45 Hell In The Pacific (1968) 4.40 Shadow Of A Doubt (1943) 6.30 Chaplin Today: Limelight 7.05 Mr Music (1950) 9.00 Romeo And Juliet (1968) 11.20 Hell In The Pacific (1968) 1.05am Modern Times (1936) 2.50 Song Of Norway (1970)

12.00pm Rice Rhapsody (2004) 2.00 Factotum (2005) 4.00 The Eighth Day (1996) 6.00 The Top 10 Show 6.20 The Dream Is Alive (1985) 7.00 Les Diaboliques (1955) 9.00 Factotum (2005) 10.35 Pecker (1998) 12.05am Rice Rhapsody (2004) 2.00 The Eighth Day (1996)

1.00pm The Silver Fleet (1943) 2.40 Whirlpool (1949) 4.50 Oliver Twist (1948) 7.00 Jungle 2 Jungle (1997) 9.00 I, Robot (2004) 11.05 Movie Rush 11.10 The Firm (1993) Tom Cruise stars, in this first John Grisham legal thriller adaptation, as an idealistic young lawyer. 2.00am That Night (1992)

6.55am Trial (1955) 8.45 Jumbo (1962) 11.00 Destination Tokyo (1943) 1.30pm Challenge To Lassie (1949) 3.00 Ice Station Zebra (1968) 5.40 Father’s Little Dividend (1951) 7.20 The Honeymoon Machine (1961) 9.00 Poltergeist (1982) 11.05 The Formula (1980) 1.15am Terror On A Train (1953)

Classics

Indie

052_LS323 TVfri

5/23/07

5:24 PM

Page 1

friday 1 june Virtual World, Real Millions BBC2, 7pm Listen to the Second Life hype and you’ll believe that millions of people are opting out of the real world and living a virtual existence instead. But is it really possible to earn a living from inside an online game? The Money Programme’s Max Flint finds out if he can get in on the act and make a virtual fortune.

Built For The Kill: Predators Of The Deep Five, 7.30pm Making a beeline for a foreign beach over the weekend? You might think twice after witnessing Five’s roll-call of predators that have learned to thrive in the deep. With whales, tiger sharks and jumbo squid all looking for a scrap you’d be best sticking to an ice cream on the shore.

When The Stranglers Met Roland Rat BBC4, 9pm Or, to put it another way: what happens when the worlds of pop and kids’ TV collide? The Beeb has another delve in the archives to unearth the weird kids, hungover rock acts and bizarre incidents that have spiced up Saturday TV. Pundits include Sarah Greene and Mike Read.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Animal Park 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.30 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News; Weather 1.30 Regional News And Weather 1.40 Neighbours 2.05 Doctors 2.35 Murder, She Wrote 3.20 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3.25 Pitt And Kantrop 3.50 The Likeaballs 4.00 Prank Patrol 4.30 Raven 5.00 Totally Doctor Who 5.25 Newsround 5.35 Neighbours

6.00am Fimbles 6.20 The Story Makers 6.35 Balamory 7.00 Postman Pat 7.15 Come Outside 7.30 CBeebies Springwatch 8.00 Springwatch Trackers 8.30 Scooby-Doo 8.50 SMart 9.15 Mona The Vampire 9.40 Watch My Chops 10.05 Best Of Friends 10.35 Even Stevens 11.00 FILM: The Magic Pudding (2000) 12.10pm Dangermouse 12.30 Working Lunch 1.30 Racing From Epsom 4.30 Flog It! Ten Of The Best 5.15 The Weakest Link

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 2.00 Inspector Morse 3.00 For The Rest Of Your Life 4.00 Midsomer Murders

6.00am The Treacle People 6.10 The Hoobs (x2) 7.00 Just Shoot Me 7.30 Big Brother’s Little Brother 8.00 Big Brother 9.00 Frasier 9.25 FILM: Always (1989) 11.40 Small Railway Journeys 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 3 Minute Wonder: Where There’s A Will 12.35 A Place In The Sun 1.35 FILM: Man Of The West (1958) 3.30 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The New Paul O’Grady Show

6.00am Powerboat: P1 World Championship 7.00 WWE Raw 9.00 Trans World Sport 10.00 Live Euro Tour Golf 1.00pm Poker Week 1.30 Trans World Sport 2.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 3.00 LIVE Euro Tour Golf 6.00 Trans World Sport 7.00 Rally World 7.30 LIVE Super League 10.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 10.30 International Football 12.00am Super League 1.30 Gillette World Sport 2.00 Friday Fight Night 4.00 International Football 5.30 Gillette World Sport

6.00 BBC News And Weather The latest news and weather.

6.30 South East Today; Weather Regional news magazine.

7.00 Celebrity MasterChef The four winning chefs from the heats battle it out for two semi-final places.

7.30 Match Of The Day Live Gary Lineker introduces live coverage of the first international to be held at the redeveloped Wembley Stadium, with England taking on five-time world champions Brazil. England need a positive performance to build confidence ahead of next week’s Euro 2008 qualifier in Estonia, while Brazil are unbeaten in their last six against England. Expert analysis is provided

by Alan Hansen, Alan Shearer and Brazilian World Cup winner Leonardo.

Commentary from John Motson and Mark Lawrenson.

10.00 BBC News; Regional News; Weather 10.35 Friday Night With Jonathan Ross A mix of music and celebrity chat with Jonathan Ross.

11.35 FILM: Rambo III (1988) Violent adventure sequel in which reluctant one-man army John Rambo goes into action against Soviet invaders in Afghanistan. Sought out in a Buddhist monastery retreat (!), Rambo declines his former commander’s request to return to action. At first.

1.10am FILM: Orca... Killer Whale (1977)

6.00 The People’s Quiz – Wildcard Jamie Theakston hosts the companion show to BBC1’s The People’s Quiz.

6.30 Let Me Entertain You Brian Conley presents the variety show with a twist, in which interactive studio audience voting determines how long the performances will last.

7.00 Virtual World, Real Millions See highlights.

7.30 Derby Day Preview 8.00 Springwatch Bill Oddie, Kate Humble and Simon King look back at recent highs, lows, surprises and the positively strange from the wild world of Springwatch, including updates on the animal characters.

8.30 Gardeners’ World Monty plants out irises for full sun in the long borders and irises for the water margins by the pond.

9.00 Sea Of Fire Falklands War documentary.

10.00 Balderdash & Piffle Suggs joins the hunt for the original Jack the Lad, taking him on a tour of 1970s music.

10.30 Newsnight 11.00 Newsnight Review Kirsty Wark is joined by Damien Hirst.

11.35 Later... With Jools Holland The White Stripes, Silversun Pickups and Pink Martini.

12.40am FILM: Superfly (1972) 2.10 Star Trek (x2) 3.50 Malcolm In The Middle

6.00 Meridian Tonight Local news magazine. Including Meridian weather.

6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather The latest national and international news.

7.00 Emmerdale Rosemary returns but is far from welcome at Home Farm.

7.30 Coronation Street Carla susses Leanne’s secret, while an innocent Liam tells Steve that she’s his soulmate.

8.00 Mind The Gap Year: Tonight As thousands of students prepare to take a gap year in exotic locations, one mother is still waiting for her son to return, almost three years after he left.

8.30 Lewis: Whom The Gods Would Destroy Feature-length drama following on from the Inspector Morse series.

10.30 ITV News; Weather The latest national and international news, plus national weather.

Including local news programmes.

11.00 It Shouldn’t Happen To A TV Presenter A behind-the-scenes look at the challenges and pitfalls involved in presenting TV shows, as Eamonn Holmes, Esther Rantzen and Carol Vorderman reveal career lows.

12.05am ITV Play: Make Your Play 4.10 60 Minute Makeover 5.00 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.00 The Simpsons Homer becomes a professional boxer.

6.30 Hollyoaks Nancy isn’t particularly happy about her date with Zak. 7.00 Channel 4 News Including sport and weather.

7.35 Unreported World Documentary which examines the break down in law and order in East Timor, one of the world’s youngest democracies.

8.00 A Place In The Sun Series on holiday homes abroad.

8.30 Big Brother Highlights of the past 24 hours in the house.

9.30 Ugly Betty Betty and her family go to Guadalajara to solve Ignacio’s visa problems. Betty questions her aunt and cousin about her late mother.

10.30 Big Brother All the latest news from the house.

11.05 Friday Night Project Tonight’s guest host is David Walliams.

12.10am Big Brother’s Big Mouth Big Brother debate show giving fans the chance to answer back.

12.40 4 Music: Transmission With T-Mobile.

1.40 4 Music: The JD Set Presents: Young Knives 1.50 4 Music: Tiscali Sessions 2.05 Big Brother Live 3.55 Goalissimo!

4.45 Countdown 5.30 New Shoots

6.00am The Save-Ums! 6.10 Fifi And The Flowertots 6.25 Franny’s Feet 6.35 Bird Bath 6.45 Hi-5 7.20 Roary The Racing Car 7.30 Rupert Bear 7.45 Noddy (x2) 8.05 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.40 Miss Spider’s Sunny Patch Friends 8.50 Sandy And Mr Flapper 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 Five News 12.00pm Home And Away 12.30 House 1.30 FILM: Rescuers: Stories Of Courage - Two Families (1998) 3.40 FILM: Danielle Steel’s Mixed Blessings (1995) 5.30 Five News 6.00 Home And Away Lucas struggles to deal with Belle and Drew’s relationship. Amanda is shocked to discover that Ethan is still alive.

6.30 Payday Game show hosted by Colin Murray.

7.00 Five News National and international news.

7.30 Built For The Kill: Predators Of The Deep Nature documentary series. See highlights.

8.00 Killer Big Cats Wildlife documentary looking at increasingly common big cat attacks.

9.00 NCIS A routine murder investigation soon becomes personal when Abby is nearly killed, making it clear that someone staged the initial crime in order to lure her into a trap.

10.00 Law And Order: Criminal Intent When a young actress is murdered, Goran and Eames focus their attention on a young man who had showed an unusual interest in the victim and her boyfriend.

11.00 Prison Break Sara is forced to sacrifice herself in order to enable Michael and Lincoln to get out of the States, C-Note is offered a way out and Bellick and Sucre head south on T-Bag’s trail.

12.00am Quiz Call Interactive quiz show giving drunk/deluded viewers the chance to bump up their phone bills in the hope of a prize.

5.35 Wildlife SOS

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Ocean 7.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 7.30 Ocean 8.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 8.30 Race World 9.30 Ocean 10.00 Poker Week 10.30 Rugby League 12.30pm Boots N All Special 1.00 ATP Tennis 1.30 LIVE Sailing: America’s Cup 4.00 Race World 5.00 Moto + 5.30 Gillette World Sport 6.00 Ocean 6.30 Moto + 7.00 Gillette World Sport 7.30 Golf Night 10.00 LIVE Friday Fight Night 12.00am Golf Night 2.30 Rally World 3.00 Moto + 3.30 Golf Night

Sky Sports 3 10.30am IAAF Athletix Weekly 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Powerboat: P1 World Championship 1.00 Race World 2.00 Ocean 2.30 NBA Action 3.00 Netball: Super League 3.30 Trans World Sport 4.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 5.00 WWE Raw 7.00 LIVE Winning Post 9.00 Gillette World Sport 9.30 Rally World 10.00 WWE Late Night Smackdown 12.00am WWE Late Night Bottom Line 1.00 Sailing: America’s Cup 2.00 The Premiership Years 4.00 Sailing: America’s Cup 5.00 Ocean

Matt Chittock

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

10.00am Stargate SG-1 (x2) 12.00pm Catch-Up Project Runway (x2) 2.00 Best Of Bones (x2) 4.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 6.00 Malcolm In The Middle (x2) 7.00 The Simpsons (x3) 8.30 Crash Test Dummies 9.00 Road Wars 10.00 Ross Kemp On Gangs 11.00 Best Of Bones 12.00am Law And Order 1.00 Star Trek: Voyager

8.00pm Dog Borstal 9.00 Doctor Who 9.45 Doctor Who Confidential 10.00 Football Gaffes Galore 11.00 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps (x2) 12.00am Family Guy (x2) 12.45 Sex... With Mum And Dad 1.40 Rob Brydon’s Annually Retentive 2.10 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps (x2)

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 The Magic Roundabout Story 8.30 In Concert: The Eagles 9.00 When The Stranglers Met Roland Rat. See highlights.

10.00 Children’s TV On Trial: The Kids’ Verdict 11.00 The Avengers 11.50 When The Stranglers Met Roland Rat 12.50am Hotel California

1.00pm Emmerdale 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.40 The Ricki Lake Show 4.25 Sally Jessy Raphael 5.15 Airline USA 5.45 Judge Judy 7.00 Smallville 8.00 Big Day 8.30 FILM: Hulk (2002) 10.55 Katie & Peter: The Next Chapter.....

Meningitis And Me 11.55 Coronation Street 12.25am Entourage (x2)

2.00pm Never The Twain 2.30 Is It Legal? 3.00 Pie In The Sky 4.05 Cagney And Lacey 5.05 Quincy, ME 6.10 Is It Legal? 6.40 Film File 6.50 Lovejoy 8.00 Pie In The Sky 9.05 FILM: In The Name Of The Father (1993) 11.35 Tales Of The Unexpected 12.10am Lovejoy 1.15 FILM: In The Name Of The Father (1993)

6.00am Big Brother Live 12.25pm Big Brother’s Little Brother 12.55 Big Brother 1.55 Big Brother Live 4.25 Hollyoaks 4.55 Friends (x2) 5.55 Big Brother 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Big Brother’s Little Brother 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.05 Supernanny US (x2) 11.00 Big Brother Live 1.00am Big Brother’s Big Mouth

2.00pm ER 3.00 The Practice 4.00 FILM: Very Important Person (1961) 5.55 3 Minute Wonder: Beside The Seaside (x2) 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs Revisited 8.00 More4 News 8.30 The Daily Show 9.00 Without A Trace 10.00 The Closer 11.00 Hitler: The Comedy Years 12.00am NYPD Blue

1.30pm Will And Grace (x2) 2.30 I Dream Of Jeannie 3.00 Missing 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 Extreme: Skinny Celebrities 7.00 The X Files 8.00 Close To Home 9.00 Criminal Minds 10.00 CSI: Miami 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am The X Files 1.00 Criminal Minds 2.00 Da Vinci’s Inquest

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

2.20pm Open All Hours 3.00 Dalziel And Pascoe 5.00 Dallas 6.00 Doctor Who 7.00 FILM: Carry On Columbus (1992) 8.50 Alistair McGowan’s Big Impression 9.00 Fawlty Towers 9.40 One Foot In The Grave 10.20 EuroMillions: Boom Bang A Bang 10.30 FILM: DOA (1988) 12.30am Fawlty Towers

3.00pm Two And A Half Men (x2) 4.00 King Of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Frasier (x2) 7.00 Becker (x2) 8.00 That 70s Show (x2) 9.00 South Park (x2) 10.00 Happy Tree Friends 10.30 Jackass 11.00 Dirty Sanchez 11.30 Comedy Store 12.00am Just For Laughs, Just For Paramount

2.00pm The FBI Files 3.00 Forensic Detectives 4.00 Time Team 5.00 How It’s Made (x2) 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 Mythbusters 8.00 How Do They Do It? 8.30 How It’s Made 9.00 The World’s Toughest Tribes 10.00 The Real Da Vinci Code 11.00 True Crime Scene 12.00am The FBI Files

12.00pm Farscape 1.00 Star Trek 2.00 The Lost World 3.00 FILM: Nature Unleashed: Fire (2004) 5.00 Dark Angel 6.00 The Lost World 7.00 Roswell 8.00 Dark Angel 9.00 Stephen King’s Desperation (x3) 12.00am FILM: Vicious Lips (1985) 1.35 Heroes 2.35 Psychic Detectives 3.05 ReGenesis 4.05 Profiler

9.15am Pal Joey (1957) 11.15 Patton (1970) 2.05pm Classics Close Up 2.35 The Conqueror (1956) 4.35 Blackbeard’s Ghost (1968) 6.30 Classics Close-Up 7.00 Patton (1970) 9.50 Pal Joey (1957) 11.45 The Comedy Of Terrors (1964) 1.10am The Loneliness Of The Long Distance Runner (1962)

12.00pm La Cage Aux Folles (1978) 2.00 Bombon, El Perro (2004) 4.00 Ridicule (1996) 6.00 China’s Hollywood (1998) 7.15 La Cage Aux Folles (1978) 9.00 2 Days In The Valley (1996) 10.50 5x2: Cinq Fois Deux (2004) 12.25am 2 Days In The Valley (1996) 2.20 Bombon, El Perro (2004)

1.00pm The Ghost And Mrs Muir (1947) 3.00 The Way Ahead (1944) 5.20 The Man In The Iron Mask (1977) 7.20 The Brady Bunch Movie (1995) 9.00 Enduring Love (2004) Literary thriller. 10.50 Short Cuts (1993) Acclaimed Altman action. 2.20am Slums Of Beverly Hills (1998)

7.05am Interrupted Melody (1955) 8.50 Silk Stockings (1957) 11.00 The Thin Man (1934) 12.40pm National Velvet (1944) 3.00 Show Boat (1951) 5.00 Alfred The Great (1969) 7.15 The Last Voyage (1960) 9.00 Mad Max (1979) 10.45 El Mariachi (1993) 12.15am Cool Breeze (1972) 2.05 Teleshopping

Classics

Indie

053_LS323_tvsat

5/24/07

4:51 PM

Page 1

saturday 2 Sgt Pepper: ‘It Was 40 Years Ago Today…’

BBC2, 10.45pm …since four lads from Liverpool high on ambition (and lysergic acid) recorded a psychedelic pop monster of an album that changed the world for ever.

Tonight, the original engineer returns to the studio to recreate classic tracks with today’s top bands (and Razorlight, left).

Lie Lab Channel 4, 7pm Sensationalist stuff from Channel 4 as a team of scientists use Magnetic Resonance Imaging to work out if people at the centre of high-profile cases are telling the truth. The first programme investigates the ‘Tipton Taliban’ – men released without charge from Guantanamo. Will the show clear their names for ever?

Once Upon A Time In New York BBC4, 10pm It’s all about the rock docs this week as BBC4 reveals how the mean streets of New York gave birth to the music that would take over the known world. With swanky Studio 54 out of bounds to black New York, Bronx DJs created their own parties and hip hop was born on the streets.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 10.00 Saturday Kitchen 11.30 Ever Wondered About Food 12.00pm BBC News; Weather 12.10 Ready Steady Cook 12.55 Derby Day 5.05 BBC News; Regional News; Weather 5.25 Weakest Link: Music Extravaganza

6.00am Teletubbies 6.30 Balamory 6.50 Step Inside 7.00 Batfink 7.10 Arthur 7.35 Watch My Chops 8.00 Mona The Vampire 8.30 The Story Of Tracy Beaker 10.00 Beat The Boss 10.30 Totally Doctor Who 11.00 The Story Of Tracy Beaker 11.25 What’s New Scooby-Doo? 11.45 Sportsround 12.00pm See Hear 12.30 Coast 12.40 The Flying Gardener 1.10 Animal Park 2.10 FILM: Getting Even With Dad (1994) 3.55 FILM: Carry On Cabby (1963) 5.25 International Rugby Sevens

6.00am GMTV 9.25 Horrid Henry 9.35 Horrid Henry 9.50 Jungle Run 10.20 The Giblet Boys 10.50 King Arthur’s Disasters 11.20 My Parents Are Aliens 11.55 Drake And Josh 12.25pm Tricky Quickies 12.30 The New Adventures Of Superman 1.30 ITV News; Weather 1.40 Meridian News And Weather 1.45 FILM: Gentlemen Prefer Blondes (1953) 3.30 FILM: Death Becomes Her (1992) 5.25 Meridian News And Weather 5.40 ITV News; Sports Results; Weather 5.55 You’ve Been Framed!

6.00am The Treacle People 6.10 The Hoobs (x2) 7.00 Goalissimo! 8.00 The Morning Line 8.55 Big Brother’s Little Brother 9.25 Friends 10.00 Popworld 10.50 Big Brother 11.50 Big Brother 12.20pm Shipwrecked 2007: The Hut Cam Diaries 12.55 Shipwrecked 2007: Battle Of The Islands 2.00 Channel 4 Racing From Folkestone And Musselburgh 3.35 How Clean Is Your House? 4.05 Location, Location, Location 4.40 Deal Or No Deal Classic 5.30 Monarchy By David Starkey

6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 International Football 8.00 LIVE International Rugby Union (x2) 1.00pm LIVE International Rugby Union 4.00 LIVE Rugby Union 7.00 LIVE International Football 11.00 International Rugby Union 1.00am International Football 2.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 3.00 Sailing: America’s Cup 4.00 International Football 5.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial

6.25 Flog It! Presenter Paul Martin pulls no punches with a trip to one of the UK’s most famous boxing clubs.

7.10 The Culture Show Arts and culture magazine. Presenter Lauren Laverne meets Paul McCartney to discuss his new album, Memory Almost Full, and the impending 50th anniversary of his first meeting with John Lennon.

8.00 The Victoria Cross: For Valour In September 1944, Major Robert Cain won what was described as the finest Victoria Cross of World War Two. Tonight, BBC2 looks at what he did to get it.

9.00 Seven Ages Of Rock The journey through the history of rock music hits the punk years.

10.00 Graham Norton Uncut The camp Irish comedian takes a look at current affairs. this week Graham is joined by Little Britain’s Matt Lucas and Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber, and there’s music from Sinead O’Connor.

10.45 Sgt Pepper: ‘It Was 40 Years Ago Today...’ Celebrating The Beatles’ best album with a raft of modern acts including Razorlight and Kaiser Chiefs. See highlights.

11.45 FILM: Tommy (1975) Ken Russell’s ‘flamboyant’ treatment of The Who’s rock opera about a deaf, dumb and blind boy who sure plays a mean pinball.

1.35am The Culture Show 2.25 FILM: Soylent Green (1972)

6.55 Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? Chris Tarrant hosts the award-winning quiz show in which contestants can double their cash prize with each correct answer and win up to a million pounds.

7.55 Grease Is The Word: Live It’s Sandy semi-final week as the girls sing solo, and by the end of the show two will be going through to the final while the unlucky two will be going home.

9.25 This Is Your Life Special edition of the biography show.

10.25 Parkinson Tonight Michael Parkinson chats to Irish comedian Dara O’Briain, iconic TV presenter David Dimbleby and singer Russell Watson.

11.25 ITV News; Weather The latest national and international news, plus national weather.

11.40 TV’s Naughtiest Blunders Neil Morrissey presents another collection of saucy outtakes and unbleeped bloopers, from stars including Adrian Edmondson, Des O’Connor and Melanie Sykes, Chris Tarrant, Phillip Schofield and Fern Britton, Ian Wright, and the casts of Emmerdale and Fat Friends.

12.00am ITV Play: Make Your Play Interactive game show with big prizes of up to £50,000.

3.50 Don’t Move, Improve (x2) 5.00 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.30 Channel 4 News Including sport and weather.

7.00 Lie Lab New lie detection technology is used to test the people at the heart of high-profile cases. See highlights.

8.00 Whicker’s War First of two films in which seasoned reporter and traveller Alan Whicker reveals some remarkable footage captured by his own army unit during the Italian campaign of World War II. 9.00 FILM: Mean Girls (2004) Teen comedy. A 15-year-old with a sheltered upbringing arrives at her new Chicago school ill-equipped for the backstabbing and unwritten social rules of the classroom. Stars Lindsay Lohan in one of her more grown-up roles.

10.50 FILM: Get Over It (2001) Teen comedy about a high-school boy who is devastated when his girlfriend jilts him, so he decides to audition for a role in the school production of A Midsummer Night’s Dream in a bid to prove his love. Starring Kirsten Dunst and Ben Foster.

12.25am 4Music Presents... Kaiser Chiefs Lauren Laverne interviews the indie stars and they perform a selection of exclusive tracks from their long-awaited second album.

1.00 Big Brother Live 4.30 Greetings From Tucson 4.55 The Bernie Mac Show 5.15 Countdown

6.00am Sunrise 6.55 The Milkshake!

Show 7.25 Mist: Sheepdog Tales 7.35 Rupert Bear 7.50 Make Way For Noddy 8.05 Say It With Noddy 8.10 Harry And His Bucket Full Of Dinosaurs 8.25 The Book Of Pooh 9.00 Ebb And Flo 9.05 Peppa Pig 9.15 Fifi And The Flowertots 9.30 Jane And The Dragon 10.00 Fifth Gear 11.00 Valley Of The Monster Pythons: Austin Stevens’ Adventures 12.00pm Pimp My Ride UK 12.35 FILM: Saddle Tramp (1950) 2.05 FILM: Dunkirk (1958) 4.35 FILM: The Strongest Man In The World (1974) 6.25 FILM: S Club: Seeing Double (2003) Light-hearted film starring members of the pop group S Club.

When the band complains how tough life at the top is, they are replaced with clones and the fake band goes on a world tour, leaving the real pop stars to fend for themselves without the help of personal assistants and all the other accessories of fame.

7.55 Five News And Sport The latest national and international headlines.

8.05 NCIS 9.00 CSI:NY After a string of magictrick inspired murders occur, including a woman being cut in half while inside a wooden box and a man being burned to death, Mac and Stella try to tie popular illusionist Luke Blade to the crimes. Meanwhile, Danny goes to Montana to support Lindsay as she testifies against the man who murdered her friends.

10.00 Law And Order When a cab driver is found stabbed to death under his taxi, Briscoe and Green discover that his last fare was a former convict and aspiring writer.

11.00 Angela’s Eyes Angela is the bridesmaid at her closest friend’s wedding but is distracted by the investigation into death threats towards a TV presenter.

12.00am Quiz Call 1.00 NHL Ice Hockey 3.45 Football Argentina

6.15 The People’s Quiz The search for the UK’s best quizzer continues, as 10 of the 14 remaining contenders are put through their paces by Jamie Theakston, Kate Garraway, Myleene Klass and William G Stewart.

7.10 Doctor Who 1913, and war comes to England a year in advance, as the terrifying Family hunt for the Doctor.

7.55 The National Lottery Draws Andrew Castle hosts the Thunderball, Dream Number and Lotto draws, live from Lottery HQ. 8.05 Any Dream Will Do The pressure is on as the boys must make a last push to ensure their place in the final.

9.00 Casualty After a terrible accident on the hospital premises, Nathan must rely on Stitch’s brilliance to save a man’s life and stop them from being sued.

9.50 Any Dream Will Do Graham Norton reveals which Joseph doesn’t make the grade and leaves the competition for good.

10.15 Have I Got News For You 10.45 BBC News; Weather BBC News; Weather.

11.05 Derby Highlights 11.25 FILM: Nightwatch (1994) International crime thriller based on an Alistair MacLean story.

1.00am Friday Night With Jonathan Ross 2.05 Joins BBC News 24

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Sailing: America’s Cup 7.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits (x2) 9.00 Cricket AM 10.30 Friday Fight Night 12.30pm Rally World 1.00 International Football (x2) 5.00 NBA Basketball 7.00 Gillette World Sport 7.30 Golf Night 10.00 Sailing: America’s Cup 11.00 Max Power 12.00am Golf Night 2.30 Sports Unlimited 3.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits (x2) 5.30 Gillette World Sport

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Sports Unlimited 7.00 Friday Fight Night 9.00 Racing News 10.00 WWE Smackdown 12.00pm WWE The Bottom Line 1.00 LIVE Euro Tour Golf 5.00 WWE Smackdown 7.00 WWE The Bottom Line 8.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 9.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 10.00 Extreme Championship Wrestling 11.00 WWE Smackdown 1.00am WWE Late Night Bottom Line 2.00 Moto + 2.30 WWE Late Night Smackdown 4.30 WWE Saturday Night Main Event - Live

Matt Chittock

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

12.00pm Star Trek: The Next Generation (x3) 3.00 Relic Hunter 4.00 Futurama (x4) 6.00 Brainiac: Science Abuse 7.00 Futurama (x2) animated action. 8.00 Cold Case 9.00 Best Of Bones 10.00 Premiership’s Greatest Foreign Players 12.00am 24 1.00 Brainiac: Science Abuse 1.50 Best Of Angel

7.00pm Football Gaffes Galore 7.25 The Real Hustle 7.55 Doctor Who Confidential 8.40 Top Gear 9.45 FILM: The Jackal (1997) 11.40 Gavin And Stacey 12.10am Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps (x2) 1.10 Rob Brydon’s Annually Retentive 1.40 The Real Hustle

7.00pm Chopin Prelude In F# Major 7.05 Monitor: Elgar 8.00 Samuel Johnson Prize Contenders 9.00 Beryl’s Last Year 10.00 Once Upon A Time In New York. See highlights. 11.00 New York Rock At The BBC 12.00am Beryl’s Last Year 1.00 Once Upon A Time In New York 2.00 New York Rock At The BBC

6.00am GMTV2 9.25 Emmerdale Omnibus 12.40pm Coronation Street Omnibus 3.00 The British Soap Awards 2007 5.00 Holiday Airport: Lanzarote 6.00 Nanny 911 6.55 FILM: Hulk (2002) 9.25 Greased Lightnin’: Results 10.25 FILM: Disclosure (1994) 12.55am Grease Is The Word: Live

1.10pm Cadfael 2.50 Pie In The Sky 3.55 Agatha Christie’s Partners In Crime 5.05 FILM: Up Pompeii (1971) 6.55 The Two Ronnies 7.55 Inspector Morse 10.00 Taggart 12.50am The Vice 1.55 The Bill: Getting Away With Murder 2.55 The Cosby Mysteries 3.40 Mapp And Lucia 4.30 Teleshopping

2.00pm 4Music Presents...

2.30 Hollyoaks Omnibus 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 6.30 The Simple Life: Interns 7.00 Miss Match 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Big Brother (x2) 10.35 Bring Back... Dallas 12.15am Big Brother Live 1.00 Transmission With T-Mobile

12.00pm Time Team (x2). with Tony Robinson. 2.05 Grand Designs (x2) 4.15 Grand Designs Revisited (x2) Property porn show.

6.25 Snowmail 6.30 FILM: Distant Drums (1951) 8.25 Tony Robinson’s Titanic Adventure 10.00 Lie Of The Land 11.35 The Closer 12.30am Grand Designs Revisited

10.00am The Golden Girls (x2) 11.00 Wonder Woman 12.00pm Bewitched (x2) 1.00 So You Think You Can Dance 2.00 Will And Grace (x2) 3.00 Charmed (x4) 7.00 Canada’s Next Top Model 8.00 The X Files 9.00 Grey’s Anatomy 10.00 Hotel Babylon 11.05 CSI 12.00am The Jerry Springer Show (x2)

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

12.00pm Big Machines (x2) 2.00 Engineering The World Rally (x2) 4.00 Decoding Disaster (x2) 6.00 World’s Lost Tribes (x2) 8.00 Deadliest Catch (x3) 11.00 A Haunting 12.00am The FBI Files 1.00 Unsolved History 2.00 Forensic Detectives 3.00 Deadliest Catch (x2) 4.40 How Do They Do It? (x2)

12.00pm Dark Angel (x3) 3.00 Psychic Detectives (x2) 4.00 FILM: Lightning: Bolts Of Destruction (2003) 5.50 FILM: Thirst (1998) 7.25 FILM: Nature Unleashed: Fire (2004) 9.00 FILM: Fight Club (1999) 11.35 Heroes 12.35am FILM: Ghoulies (1985) 2.05 FILM: Night Of The Comet (1984) 4.00 The Outer Limits (x2)

Sky Movies Indie

TCM

3.00pm King Of Queens (x2) 4.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 5.00 King Of Queens (x2) 6.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 7.00 King Of Queens (x4) 9.00 Two And A Half Men 9.30 Rules Of Engagement 10.05 FILM: Top Secret (1984) 11.45 Badly Dubbed Porn 12.15am Naked And Funny 12.45 Sexy Cam

Sky Movies Classics

Film4

12.00pm Doctor Who 1.00 FILM: Doctor At Sea (1955) 2.55 Only Fools’ Top 40 Moments 4.55 Some Mothers Do ‘Ave ‘Em 5.35 Porridge 6.15 Open All Hours 6.55 Only Fools And Horses 9.00 Only Fools’ Top 40 Moments 11.00 Jack Dee’s Happy Hour 11.40 Jack Dee’s Happy Hour 12.20am I’m Alan Partridge

10.30am Classics Close Up 11.00 The Desert Rats (1953) 12.45pm Zulu (1964) 3.05 Move Over, Darling (1963) 5.00 The Glenn Miller Story (1954) 7.00 The Desert Rats (1953) 8.30 Classics Close-Up 9.00 Zulu (1964) 11.30 Move Over, Darling (1963) 1.30am The Bad Seed (1956)

10.00am AFI Sean Connery Tribute 12.00pm Lords Of Dogtown (2005) 2.00 The Sci-Fi Boys () 3.30 The Portrait Of A Lady (1996) 6.00 In The Cannes 7.00 Lords Of Dogtown (2005) 9.00 Blood Simple (1984) 10.40 Boxcar Bertha (1972) 12.25am The Sci-Fi Boys () 2.05 Blood Simple (1984)

1.00pm There’s No Business Like Show Business (1954) 3.15 The Spy In Black (1939) 4.50 The Scarlet Pimpernel (1934) 6.40 The Fighting Temptations (2003) 9.00 One Hour Photo (2002) 10.45 Scream (1996) Post modern horror movie.12.50am Blow Out (1981)

1.25pm Bad Day At Black Rock (1955) 3.00 The Shop Around The Corner (1940) 4.45 Kim (1950) 6.55 The Big Sleep (1946) 9.00 Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior (1981) 10.45 Goodfellas (1990) 1.25am Hit Man (1972) 2.55 Teleshopping 3.15 Shaft In Africa (1973) 5.00 The Wonderful World Of The Brothers Grimm (1962)

054_LS323_tvsun

5/24/07

5:15 PM

Page 1

sunday 3 The Great British Village Show BBC1, 6.50pm A quaint retro TV effort that make-believes the UK’s villages are beacons of eccentric individuality, not identikit Wetherspoon’s-infested clone towns. Alan Titchmarsh is on hand to find the heaviest marrows and best cakes – before jetting back to London.

Dirty Dali: A Private View Channel 4, 11.05pm Queer old art critic cove Brian Sewell presents a cheeky view of surrealist nutter, with whom he was friends in the late 1960s.

Sewell apparently witnessed Salvador Dali at work and talks about the complex sexual and psychological demons that inspired and also tempered the artist’s best art.

The View From River Cottage More 4, 9pm A welcome re-run of the uber toff’s show distilling the River Cottage Experience into six main principles for living a simple life.

First, get your own TV show, then tell people how they should be eating pig’s trotter soup while you’re doing foie gras by the plateful on the proceeds of your latest book deal. Simple innit?

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.00 Sunday AM 10.00 Heaven And Earth With Gloria Hunniford 11.00 Countryfile 12.00pm The Politics Show 1.00 ’Allo ’Allo!

1.25 Keeping Up Appearances 1.55 Cash In The Attic 2.40 Murder, She Wrote 3.25 EastEnders 5.20 Shaun The Sheep 5.30 Points Of View 5.45 Songs Of Praise

6.00am Teletubbies 6.30 Balamory 6.50 Step Inside 7.00 Batfink 7.10 Legend Of The Dragon 7.30 Smile 10.00 Something For The Weekend 11.30 Inside Sport 12.30pm Moto GP 2007 2.00 World Cup Rowing 3.00 Athletics 5.30 International Rugby Sevens

6.00am GMTV 9.25 Art Attack 9.45 Prove It! 10.10 Atomic Betty 10.25 Jim Jam And Sunny 10.40 Jim Jam And Sunny 10.55 Pocoyo 11.00 Pocoyo 11.10 Jim Jam And Sunny 11.25 Jim Jam And Sunny 11.40 Curious George 11.55 All Grown Up 12.25pm Planet Sketch 12.40 ITV News; Weather 12.50 Meridian News And Weather 12.55 FILM: Ocean’s Eleven (1960) 3.20 FILM: Shenandoah (1965) 5.15 The Unforgettable... Benny Hill 5.55 Tiger Island

6.00am The Treacle People 6.10 The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Trans World Sport 8.00 X-Box Big Day Out 8.25 New Shoots: Films From Disabled Directors 8.55 Popworld 9.45 Hollyoaks Omnibus 12.15pm Shipwrecked 2007: The Hut Cam Diaries 12.50 Big Brother’s Little Brother 1.55 Friends 2.30 Smallville: Superman The Early Years 3.30 Ugly Betty 4.30 Deal Or No Deal 5.15 Scrapheap Challenge

6.00am Milkshake! 8.00 Harry And His Bucket Full Of Dinosaurs (x2) 8.30 The Book Of Pooh 9.00 Ebb And Flo 9.05 Peppa Pig 9.15 Fifi And The Flowertots 9.30 Jane And The Dragon 10.00 Getting On The Property Ladder 11.05 The Hotel Inspector 12.10pm Nice House, Shame About The Garden 12.40 Five News Update 12.45 Britain’s Finest 2.15 FILM: Beaches (1988) 4.35 Five News And Sport 4.50 FILM: Black Beauty (1994)

6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 7.00 Sailing: America’s Cup 8.00 International Football 9.30 Cricket Writers On TV 10.30 LIVE Cricket: Friends Provident Trophy 6.30pm Gillette World Sport 7.00 LIVE Football: Northern Masters 10.00 WWE Experience 11.00 WWE Late Night Afterburn 12.00am WWE Heat 1.00 Live Wrestling

6.25 Meridian News And Weather Latest regional news and weather.

6.40 ITV News; Weather The latest national and international news, plus national weather.

7.00 Coronation Street Family Album Celebrating the lives of the Duckworths, who moved into Coronation Street over 30 years ago.

7.30 Coronation Street Carla plays detective – but can she catch Paul out? Meanwhile Liz is left squirming as her affair gets too close to home.

8.00 Heartbeat Lord Ashfordly’s new estate manager raises hackles with his rent hikes and other hardline methods he learned in South Africa.

David starts collecting Green Shield stamps and soon has more than he can lick – the glue seems to be going to his head.

9.00 Midsomer Murders When a photo of DCI Barnaby with another woman is displayed shortly before her estranged husband is murdered, he becomes a prime suspect in the crime.

11.00 ITV News; Weather 11.15 Victoria Wood: A South Bank Show Special 12.15am Dunlop MSA British Touring Car Championship 12.45 ITV Play: Glitterball.

Money-spinning phone-in quiz show.

4.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 5.00 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.15 Shipwrecked 2007: Battle Of The Islands With the final beach party just hours away, surprise arrivals John and Charlie have the difficult task of deciding which island deserves to win the competition.

7.45 Channel 4 News Including sport and weather.

8.00 Big Brother: On The Couch Davina McCall takes a look back at the key events in the Big Brother week and talks to cultural commentators and leading experts from the field of psychology about how life in the most watched house in Britain is affecting its residents.

9.00 Big Brother Highlights of the last 24 hours in the Big Brother house.

10.00 Making The Monkees Documentary charting the rise and fall of the first manufactured pop group.

11.05 Dirty Dali: A Private View A sideways look at the surrealist genius from art critic Brian Sewell.

See highlights.

12.05am Green Day: Video Exclusive An exclusive look at Green Day’s brand new video for Working Class Hero.

12.10 Dizzee Rascal: Bow Selector 12.45 PartyPoker.com 1.45 Big Brother’s Diary Room Uncut 2.45 Big Brother Live 4.50 Unreported World 5.15 Countdown

6.20 As Time Goes By Lionel’s jealousy is aroused when an old flame from Jean’s past gets in touch with her. But Jean cannot resist the invitation to dine with a boyfriend of so many years ago.

6.50 The Great British Village Show See highlights.

7.35 BBC News; Regional News; Weather 7.50 Regional News And Weather 8.00 The Chase The staff are stunned by the death of a loved colleague and Anna contemplates life as a single mother while Sarah must give an answer to Adrian’s proposal.

9.00 How We Built Britain David Dimbleby journeys through Britain, and through 1,000 years of our history, to discover the buildings that have made us who we are.

10.00 BBC News; Weather 10.20 Medium Allison is startled when she begins to have visions of the same day over and over, seeing new and important details on each occasion.

11.00 Seven Ages Of Rock A journey through the history of rock music.

12.00am 3lbs The treatment of a manic depressive patient puts Doug on a collision course with his ex-wife, Corine.

12.45 The Sky At Night 1.10 Sign Zone: Holby City 2.10 Antiques Roadshow

7.30 Running With Reindeer Saba Douglas-Hamilton travels to the Arctic Circle to live with Sami reindeer herders, and participate in the winter reindeer round-up.

8.00 Coast Geographer Nicholas Crane presents a 13-part journey around the coast of the United Kingdom, uncovering stories that have made us the island nation we are today.

9.00 The Apprentice – Beyond The Boardroom A profile of the most successful candidates from the 2007 series of The Apprentice, offering an insight into the real people behind the professional personas seen on the show. Which experiences have shaped them? How do they really feel about each other? Parents, friends and former bosses, along with Sir Alan’s trusted aides, Nick Hewer and Margaret Mountford, discuss the personalities, motivations, strengths and weaknesses of the apprentices.

10.00 Arena The Beeb’s documentary strand.

11.30 Have I Got A Little Bit More News For You Topical news quiz with Paul Merton and Ian Hislop.

12.10am FILM: The Harder They Come (1972) Seminal Jamaican drama about a country boy who heads for Kingston hoping to make it as a singer. Features a seminal mid-70s reggae soundtrack.

1.55 FILM: The Darkest Light (1999)

6.20 Everybody Hates Chris Chris is given an egg to take care of to teach him about parenting skills. Julius investigates a large electricity bill.

6.50 Everybody Hates Chris Chris gets no respect when he has hall monitor duty.

7.15 Joey In an effort to keep Joey away from his attractive new interior designer, Alex tries to teach him to play poker and gets creative with the rules of the game. Things become complicated, however, when Joey is asked to go on the television show Celebrity Poker.

7.35 Joey .

8.00 FILM: Six Days, Seven Nights (1998) Romantic adventure in which a handsome but ill-tempered pilot and a beautiful magazine editor crashland on a remote desert island and find themselves stranded.

10.00 Vanished When Sara Collins – a senator’s wife – vanishes, the investigation digs up secrets from her past and a possible connection to the kidnapping and murder of a child six months earlier.

11.00 Killer Instinct Drama series about the San Francisco police.

12.00am Disorderly Conduct US documentary series featuring footage of real-life car crashes, drug busts, high-speed pursuits and more.

1.00 Major League Baseball 4.20 Now Is The Time 5.10 Rolex Grand Am

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Watersports World 7.00 Gillette World Sport 7.30 Wild Spirits 8.00 Golf Night 10.30 International Football 12.00pm LIVE Euro Tour Golf 5.00 Jack’s Perfect Golfer 5.30 Jack’s Perfect Golfer 6.00 LIVE Super League 8.00 Golf Night 10.00 Sailing: America’s Cup 11.00 Super League 1.00am Golf Night 3.00 Super League

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Tenpin Bowling: World Masters 7.00 International Rugby Union 9.00 WWE Afterburn 10.00 WWE Heat 11.00 Wild Spirits 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Gillette World Sport 12.30 Ocean! 1.30 LIVE Sailing: America’s Cup 4.00 Gillette World Sport 4.30 Wild Spirits 5.00 WWE Experience 6.00 WWE Saturday Night Main Event 7.30 Ocean! 8.30 LIVE Motor Racing: Indy Car Series 11.00 Masters Football: Northern Masters 2.00am Motor Racing: Indy Car Series

Matt Chittock

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

3.00pm So You Think You’re Royal? 4.00 Project Runway 5.00 Best Of Malcolm In The Middle (x2) 6.00 The Simpsons (x2) 7.00 Life Without Lost 7.30 The Simpsons 8.00 Dream Team 9.00 24 (x2) 11.00 Badger Or Bust 12.00am Deadwood 1.10 Best Of Angel (x2) 2.55 Star Trek: The Next Generation (x2)

7.00pm The Real Hustle 7.30 Dog Borstal Unleashed 8.00 Doctor Who 8.45 Doctor Who Confidential 9.00 Gavin And Stacey 9.30 Little Britain Abroad 10.00 Filthy Rich And Homeless 11.00 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps (x2) 12.00am Gavin And Stacey 12.30 Filthy Rich And Homeless

7.00pm Journeys Into The Ring Of Fire 8.00 9/11: The Conspiracy Files 9.00 The State Within 10.00 Britain In Pictures 10.30 10 Things You Didn’t Know About Volcanoes 11.30 Lighting Up New York 12.30am Britain In Pictures 1.00 Journeys Into The Ring Of Fire 2.00 10 Things You Didn’t Know About Volcanoes

11.20am FILM: Dante’s Peak (1997) 1.20pm Emmerdale Omnibus 4.35 Coronation Street Omnibus 7.00 FILM: Dante’s Peak (1997) 9.00 Supernatural 10.00 Generation Xcess: Drugs & Drink 11.00 Coronation Street 11.30 FILM: Shaun Of The Dead (2004) 1.30am ITV Play: Glitterball

4.00pm British Touring Cars 5.35 Film File 5.45 Ronnie Corbett: Ronnie And Me (x3) 6.00 The Two Ronnies 7.00 The Magnificent Seven 8.00 The Best Of The Royal Variety 9.00 FILM: Mr Baseball (1993) 11.10 The Big Easy 12.10am The Magnificent Seven 1.10 FILM: Mr Baseball (1993)

6.00am Big Brother Live 1.00pm Popworld 2.00 Shipwrecked 2007: Battle Of The Islands 2.55 Big Brother’s Little Brother 4.00 Friends (x2) US comedy.

5.00 One Tree Hill 5.55 What About Brian 6.55 Friends (x2) 8.00 Ugly Betty 9.00 ER 10.00 Big Brother’s Diary Room Uncut 11.00 Big Brother Live

9.30am Scrapheap Challenge (x3) 12.35pm Come Dine With Me (x5) 3.10 Time Team 4.10 FILM: A Man Alone (1955) 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 6.55 The Real Dad’s Army 8.00 The West Wing 9.00 The View From River Cottage (x2) 10.00 The Seven Sins Of England 11.00 Father Ted (x2) 12.10am Sex In The 70s

5.00pm Extreme: Celebrity Love Splits 6.00 The Bad Girls Club 6.30 Tori And Dean: Inn Love 7.00 Exposed: Paris Hilton 8.00 Abbey And Janice: Beauty And The Best 9.00 CSI: Miami 10.00 Criminal Minds 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am The Jerry Springer Show (x2)

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

9.00am Charlie’s Angels 10.05 Dallas 11.10 Dallas 12.15pm Only Fools And Horses (x3) 5.00 Planet Earth 6.00 The Blue Planet 7.00 Only Fools And Horses 8.05 The Vicar Of Dibley 9.00 Dalziel And Pascoe 10.55 Only Fools And Horses 12.30am Absolutely Fabulous (x2) 1.50 Silent Witness 4.00 Icons

9.00am King Of Queens (x24) 9.00 South Park (x2) Animated anarchy. 10.00 Jo Brand: Barely Live 11.30 Badly Dubbed Porn 12.00am Sexy Cam 12.30 Naked And Funny 1.00 South Park (x2) 2.00 King Of Queens 2.30 Linc’s 3.00 Ally McBeal (x2) 5.00 Sir Leslie Quint: A Life In Film (x3) 5.15 Ally McBeal

12.00pm How It’s Made (x18) 8.00 The World’s Toughest Tribes 9.00 Deadliest Catch 10.00 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls 11.00 The Real Da Vinci Code 12.00am The FBI Files 1.00 Beyond The Bermuda Triangle 2.00 Forensic Detectives 3.00 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls 3.50 Deadliest Catch

12.05pm FILM: Lightning: Bolts Of Destruction (2003) 1.55 FILM: Tornado Warning (2002) 3.45 FILM: Solar Attack (2005) 5.45 FILM: Dark Storm (2006) 7.25 FILM: Thank Heaven (2001) 9.00 Medium 10.00 Heroes 11.00 Stephen King’s Nightmares And Dreamscapes 12.00am Stephen King’s The Stand

10.45am Vertigo (1958) 1.00pm Classics Close Up 1.30 The Towering Inferno (1974) 4.20 The Odessa File (1974) 6.30 Classics Close Up 7.00 Anzio (1968) 9.00 Vertigo (1958) 11.15 Rosemary’s Baby (1968) 1.35am 12 Angry Men (1957) 3.20 Sunday, Bloody Sunday (1971)

2.00pm Best (1999) 4.00 The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou (2004) 6.00 Mountain Gorilla 6.50 Action & Thriller Close-Up 7.20 Tube Tales (1999) 9.00 The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou (2004) 11.00 Tie Me Up! Tie Me Down!

(1990) 12.45am Bang (1994) 2.25 Tube Tales (1999)

1.00pm On Moonlight Bay (1951) 2.45 The Day Will Dawn (1942) 4.50 The Four Feathers (1939) Patriotic military adventure. 7.00 The Pink Panther Strikes Again (1976) Zany comedy sequel. 9.00 Trading Places (1983) Old school comedy.

11.15 The Shape Of Things (2003) 1.05am Senseless (1998)

9.00am Young Cassidy (1965) 11.00 White Heat (1949) 1.05pm The Time Machine (1960) 3.00 Cat On A Hot Tin Roof (1958) 5.00 Bhowani Junction (1956) 7.00 Pennies From Heaven (1981) 9.00 Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome (1985) 11.00 Friday The 13th (1980) 12.45am Mr Ricco (1975)

Classics

Indie

055_LS323_TVmon

5/24/07

2:17 PM

Page 1

monday 4 Traffic Wardens – Confessions ITV1, 10pm Traffic wardens, eh? Everybody hates their guts, but they still dish out the fines that generate over £282m every year. In this programme ITV catches them issuing tickets to police cars, the disabled and even animals.

Well, it’s a dirty job, but someone’s got to do it.

Cutting Edge: The Animal Au Pair Channel 4, 9pm Not quite as bizarre as it sounds (sadly, there’s no monkey childminders). Cutting Edge investigates the child-care crisis in the UK through the experience of mother and animal trainer Jackie Rowberry. After several duff applicants, will she find someone suitable for her kids?

War Oratorio More 4, 10pm A ground-breaking film telling the stories of three real people living in war-torn Afghanistan, Uganda and Kashmir set to a classical piece composed by Dominic Muldowney. Performed by a 40-strong choir, the oratorio also features original contributions from musicians based in the conflict zones.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.30 Car Booty 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News; Weather 1.30 Regional News And Weather 1.40 Neighbours 2.05 Doctors 2.35 Murder, She Wrote 3.20 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3.25 ChuckleVision 3.40 Arthur 4.05 What’s New Scooby Doo? 4.30 Serious Andes (x2) 5.25 Newsround 5.35 Neighbours

6.00am Fimbles 6.20 Story Makers 6.35 Balamory 7.00 Arthur 7.15 Chucklevision 7.30 Krypto 7.45 Tracy Beaker 8.00 Springwatch 8.30 The Koala Brothers 8.45 Come Outside 9.00 Boogie Beebies 9.15 Toddworld 9.30 Springwatch 10.00 Teletubbies 10.30 BBC Primary History (x2) 11.10 Wipe Out 11.40 Village In Bangladesh (x2) 12.00pm Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Something Special (x2) 1.30 Animal Park 2.15 Living In The Sun 3.15 Escape To The Country 4.00 Flog It! 4.45 Eggheads 5.15 Weakest Link 6.00 The People’s Quiz – Wildcard Jamie Theakston hosts the companion show to BBC1’s The People’s Quiz.

6.30 Let Me Entertain You The lineup includes stuntman Marcelo De Ramos, seven-year-old freestyle dancer Courtney Burns, magician Etienne Pradier and Lhamea, a singer from Birmingham, as well as the surprise fifth act.

7.00 York Minster Documentary series about life in York Minster.

7.30 Johnny Kingdom: A Year On Exmoor Spring is well under way and the bluebells will be out soon at Johnny’s new hide, which means he should be filming badger cubs any day now.

8.00 Springwatch With Bill Oddie Natural history series looking at wildlife around the UK. 9.00 Peter And Dan Snow: 20th Century Battlefields 10.00 QI Jo Brand, Jessica Stevenson, Alan Davies and Phill Jupitus discuss domesticity.

10.30 Newsnight 11.20 The Apprentice – Beyond The Boardroom An in-depth look at how Sirallun’s contestants are getting on.

12.20am Springwatch Nightshift 2.00 BBC Learning Zone: Schools: Talk French 1-6 3.30 BBC Learning Zone: Schools: France Inside Out

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 2.00 Inspector Morse 3.00 For The Rest Of Your Life 4.00 Foyle’s War

6.00am The Treacle People 6.10 The Hoobs (x2) 7.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 8.00 Big Brother 9.00 Frasier 9.30 The Story Of The Novel 10.30 How Music Works With Howard Goodall 11.30 My Crazy Media Life 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 Checking Into History 12.50 A Place In The Sun 1.55 FILM: South Of St Louis (1949) 3.30 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The New Paul O’Grady Show

6.00am The Save-Ums! 6.10 Fifi And The Flowertots 6.25 Franny’s Feet 6.35 Bird Bath 6.45 Hi-5 7.20 Roary The Racing Car 7.30 Rupert Bear 7.40 Noddy 8.00 Say It With Noddy 8.05 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.40 Miss Spider’s Sunny Patch Friends 8.50 Sandy And Mr Flapper 9.00 Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 Five News 12.00pm Home And Away 12.30 House 1.30 FILM: The Dream Team (1989) 3.35 News 3.40 FILM: Perry Mason: Case Of The Murdered Madam (1987) 5.30 Five News 6.00 Home And Away Amanda is fooled into believing that Ethan is out of her life forever. Kim struggles to maintain an involvement with Kit and their baby. James makes a nearfatal mistake.

6.30 Payday 7.00 Five News National and international news.

7.15 Mean Machines Of War Documentary series charting the development of some of the world’s most influential weapons of war.

8.00 Fifth Gear Tom Ford has 24 hours to get to Valencia in the BMW M5 Touring Car. 9.00 Paul Merton In China Paul sees some Sichuan Opera in Chengdu that almost makes him lose the will to live.

10.00 Prison Break Michael walks into a trap in his attempts to put T-Bag back in jail.

11.00 FILM: The Terminator (1984) Classic sci-fi action thriller about the battle between two time-travelling soldiers who arrive in modern-day LA from a future in which machines rule. Stars Arnold Schwarzenegger in his break through role.

1.00am NHL Ice Hockey Coverage of game four of the Stanley Cup Finals, a best-of-seven series forming the climax of the NHL season.

3.45 NASCAR Nextel Cup 4.35 USPGA Golf 5.10 Ironman

6.00am Sailing: America’s Cup 7.00 WWE The Bottom Line 8.00 Sailing: America’s Cup 9.00 Cricket: Friends Provident Trophy 11.00 Masters Football: Northern Masters 2.00pm Motor Racing: Indy Car Series 4.30 Masters Football: Northern Masters 7.30 LIVE Speedway 10.00 Golf Special 11.30 Speedway 2.00am Golf Special

6.00 BBC News And Weather The latest news and weather.

6.30 South East Today; Weather Regional news magazine.

7.00 Celebrity MasterChef Chef and restaurateur John Torode and food writer Greg Wallace search for the country’s top celebrity chef.

7.30 Super Vets Will Taggy the springer spaniel’s leg heal after two major skin graft operations?

8.00 EastEnders Carly tells Chelsea the truth about Sean, but will Chelsea believe her?

8.30 Panorama Shelley Jofre investigates whether Britain’s single biggest loss of military life in over two decades could have been avoided, and reveals a series of potentially-catastrophic faults with the RAF’s ageing fleet of spy planes.

9.00 New Tricks The team go after vicious criminal Chopper Hadley, back in the country for just one week.

10.00 BBC News; Regional News; Weather 10.35 Not Going Out Lee finally manages to get a job, as a caretaker.

11.05 Inside Sport 11.45 FILM: Maybe Baby (2000) Weak comedy about a couple desperate to have a child.

1.30am Sign Zone: Superstorm 2.30 It’s Not Easy Being Green but a 3.00 Demolition 3.30 Missing 4.15 Joins BBC News 24

6.00 Meridian Tonight Local news magazine. Including Meridian weather.

6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather The latest national and international news.

7.00 Emmerdale Carrie is blown away by Carl’s confession - but is it the truth?

7.30 Coronation Street Paul snaps and Leanne’s in the firing line. Liz decides to cool things down with Derek.

8.00 Future Fuel: Tonight Which fuel will replace petrol as the king of the road in the 21st century?

8.30 Coronation Street Paul clings on to life as Carla waits by his bedside.

9.00 Terror In The Skies: A Tonight Special Despite the events of September 11, tanks at Heathrow, and the chaos following last year’s ban on hand luggage, this programme explores how seriously airport security is being taken in 2007.

10.00 Traffic Wardens – Confessions See highlights.

10.30 ITV News; Weather 11.00 FILM: Monday Movie – Lethal Weapon (1987) Creaky action movie starring Mel Gibson and Danny Glover.

1.00am ITV Play: Glitterball 4.05 Everything Must Go Special 5.00 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.00 The Simpsons Mr Burns’s long-lost son tries to stage his own kidnapping. Featuring the guest voice of genius 80s comedian Rodney Dangerfield.

6.30 Hollyoaks Craig struggles to deal with Sarah’s success as she heads off to London for a modelling job, accompanied by Hannah.

7.00 Channel 4 News Including sport and weather.

7.55 3 Minute Wonder: Farewell Darcey Bussell A series of short films commemorating the famous ballerina.

8.00 God’s Waiting Room Director Heenan Bhatti explores the unique service provided by London undertakers Taslim Funerals.

9.00 Cutting Edge: The Animal Au Pair See highlights.

10.00 Big Brother Highlights from the past 24 hours in the Big Brother house.

11.05 ER 12.05am Isle Of Wight Festival: Classic Moments Legendary performances from one of the UK’s oldest festivals, tonight featuring The Who’s classic rendition of Who Are You. 12.10 Shariah TV 1.15 Sex And The City 1.45 Big Brother Live 3.00 Transmission With T-Mobile 4.00 Jamaica (x2) 4.30 We Are From…

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Ocean 7.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 7.30 Ocean 8.00 Golf Night 10.00 Sailing: America’s Cup 11.00 Moto + 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Golf Night 2.00 Sailing: America’s Cup 3.00 Ocean 4.00 Golf Night 6.00 Ocean 6.30 Wild Spirits 7.00 FEI Equestrian World 7.30 World Motor Sport 10.00 Fishing: Bass Fishing 11.00 FEI Equestrian World 11.30 World Motor Sport 2.00am Women’s Squash

Sky Sports 3 8.30am Motor Racing: Indy Car Series 11.00 WWE Heat 12.00pm WWE Afterburn 1.00 WWE Experience 2.00 WWE Heat 3.00 WWE The Bottom Line 4.00 WWE Afterburn 5.00 WWE Raw 7.00 WWE Smackdown 9.00 WWE One Night Stand 12.00am Athletics 1.00 Max Power 2.00 WWE Late Night Raw

Matt Chittock

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

9.00am Paul McKenna Will Make You Thin 10.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 12.00pm Jake 2.0 1.00 Law And Order 2.00 24 3.00 Las Vegas 4.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 6.00 Malcolm In The Middle (x2) 7.00 The Simpsons (x4) 9.00 FILM: Rocky (1976) 11.15 So You Think You’re Royal?

12.15am Best Of Bones

7.00pm The Scam Squad 7.30 Freaky Eaters: Addicted To Cheese 8.30 The Real Hustle 9.00 Little Britain 9.30 Tittybangbang2 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Rob Brydon’s Annually Retentive 11.00 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps (x2) 12.00am Biffovision 12.30 Tittybangbang2

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Journeys Into The Ring Of Fire 8.30 The Sky At Night 9.00 The State Within 10.00 How Vietnam Was Lost 11.20 Montana Cowboys 12.20am Indian School 12.50 Journeys Into The Ring Of Fire 1.50 How Vietnam Was Lost 3.10 The Sky At Night 3.40 Indian School

1.00pm Emmerdale 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.40 The Ricki Lake Show 4.25 Sally Jessy Raphael 5.15 Airline USA 5.40 Judge Judy 7.00 Planet’s Funniest Animals 7.30 Grease Is The Word: Live 9.00 FILM: Shaun Of The Dead (2004) 11.00 Coronation Street (x2) 12.00am FILM: Life (1999)

1.00pm Robin Of Sherwood 2.05 Never The Twain 2.35 Is It Legal? 3.05 Pie In The Sky 4.05 Cagney And Lacey 5.05 Quincy, ME 6.10 Is It Legal? 6.45 Film File 6.55 Lovejoy 8.00 Kingdom...

Behind The Scenes 9.00 Law And Order: Trial By Jury 10.00 Cracker 11.05 Bad Girls 12.10am Lovejoy 1.15 Quantum Leap

6.00am Big Brother Live 11.55 Big Brother’s Diary Room Uncut 12.55pm Big Brother 1.55 Big Brother Live 4.25 Hollyoaks 4.55 Friends (x2) 5.55 Big Brother 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Big Brother’s Little Brother 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Big Brother: On The Couch 10.00 FILM: The Long Kiss Goodnight (1996) 12.15am Big Brother Live

1.10pm Deal Or No Deal 2.00 ER 3.00 The Practice 4.00 FILM: Rage At Dawn (1955) 5.50 3 Minute Wonder (x3) 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 More4 News 8.30 The Daily Show Global Edition 9.00 Relocation, Relocation 10.00 War Oratorio. See highlights 11.35 The Making Of War Oratorio 12.10am NYPD Blue

2.30pm I Dream Of Jeannie 3.00 The X Files 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 The Bachelor USA 7.00 The X Files 8.00 The Bad Girls Club 8.30 Tori And Dean: Inn Love 9.00 Abbey And Janice: Beauty And The Best 10.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (x2) 12.00am The Jerry Springer Show (x2)

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

12.00pm Charlie’s Angels 1.00 My Family 1.40 Keeping Up Appearances 2.20 Open All Hours 3.00 Dalziel And Pascoe 5.00 Dallas 6.00 Charlie’s Angels 7.00 My Family (x3) 9.00 The Worst Week Of My Life 9.40 Only Fools And Horses 10.45 One Foot In The Grave 11.25 Absolutely Fabulous (x2)

4.00pm King Of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Frasier (x2) 7.00 Becker (x2) 8.00 That 70s Show (x2) 9.00 Two And A Half Men 9.30 Rules Of Engagement 10.00 Lee Evans Live At Her Majesty’s Theatre 11.20 Comedy Store 11.50 Edinburgh And Beyond 12.50am Badly Dubbed Porn

2.00pm Forensic Detectives 3.00 American Chopper 4.00 Deadliest Catch 5.00 Time Team 6.00 Mythbusters 7.00 How It’s Made (x2) 8.00 How Do They Do It? 8.30 Shocking Survival Videos 9.00 American Chopper 10.00 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls 11.00 Scientific Guinea Pigs 12.00am The FBI Files

12.00pm Farscape 1.00 Star Trek 2.00 The Lost World 3.00 FILM: Dark Storm (2006) 4.35 Psychic Detectives 5.00 Dark Angel 6.00 The Lost World 7.00 Roswell 8.00 Dark Angel 9.00 Medium 10.00 Heroes 11.00 Who Wants To Be A Superhero? 12.00am FILM: Boa vs Python (2004) 1.55 Medium 3.00 ReGenesis

10.10am Mr Music (1950) 12.10pm Guadalcanal Diary (1943) 1.55 I Was A Male War Bride (1949) 3.45 The Greatest Story Ever Told (1965) 7.00 Guadalcanal Diary (1943) 8.40 The Top 10 Show 9.00 Irma La Douce (1963) 11.25 Mr Music (1950) 1.20am The Comedy Of Terrors (1964)

10.00am The Chorus (2004) 12.00pm All About My Mother (1999) 1.50 The Sea Inside (2004) 4.00 The Chorus (2004) 5.45 Action & Thriller Close-Up 6.15 Survival Island (1996) 7.10 All About My Mother (1999) 9.00 Asylum (2005) 10.45 Mean Creek (2004) 12.20am Fade To Black (2004)

1.00pm By The Light Of The Silvery Moon (1953) 3.00 Where The Sidewalk Ends (1950) 4.45 Crash Dive (1943) 6.50 The Vikings (1958) 9.00 Gladiator (2000) Spectacular modern version of the old sword ‘n sandals epics. 11.50 Short Cuts (1993) US indie from Robert Altman.

7.15am Girl Happy (1965) 8.55 Kismet (1955) 11.00 Dark Victory (1939) 1.00pm Bachelor In Paradise (1961) 3.00 Brigadoon (1954) 5.00 Sunday In New York (1963) 6.55 Somebody Up There Likes Me (1956) 9.00 Gremlins (1984) 11.00 One, Two, Three (1961) 1.00am A Patch Of Blue (1965) 2.45 Teleshopping

Classics

Indie