Latest 7: No. 871

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BRIGHTON FREE | 20 – 26 March 2018 | Issue 871

online at thelatest.co.uk

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Junior & Senior Full Stack Web Developers – The Changing Workplace (Haywards Heath) SharePoint, Office 365 + Azure Developer – JDFI Consulting Ltd (Brighton & Hove) Junior Quality Assurance Engineer – Hack & Crack Ltd (Brighton & Hove) Designer – Tomango (Lewes) Head of Visual Design – Brightwave Group (Brighton & Hove) Junior Developer – Cyclr (Eastbourne) Senior UX Designer – Unit (Brighton & Hove) Account Executive – Insight Mobile (Brighton & Hove) Business Development Manager – Zoonou Ltd (Eastbourne)

Looking for someone – to re-create a basic Tetris-style game. Budget: £1,500 Agile delivery manager – to undertake a digital transformation project for a gov client. Budget: Negotiable Learning Technologist – to explore best practices for the use of virtual reality within the classroom. Budget: £150 a day

Girl Game Maker Day – 24h March at Unity Technologies, Brighton Funding New Products and Services: Accessing R + D tax credits – 27th March at The FuseBox, Brighton Wired Sussex Members' Spring Meetup – 17th April at Patterns, Brighton

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from the

Tom Gabb

@latestvicky

EDITOR

COCKTALES

You’re history

‘Healthy’ Drinking

S

pring is springing, and Tinder is about to hit its annual sweet spot. Or at least, that’s how it seems. After a winter of hibernation eating warming carbs and spirit­bolstering chocolates (you’ve got to keep the long nights at bay somehow!)

I’ve now noticed that friends are updating their dating profiles and preparing to interview potential partners through trials combining booze and best­pal­interrogation. The last time I ventured out on a first date with a new person though it wasn’t their attention to my capacity for Tuaca I noticed (very low, I’m a lightweight), but their detailed knowledge of my pictures on Facebook.

It does feel a bit “stalky stalky” when someone you’ve only met once before asks if you still have that swirly blue top you wore in a pub at a birthday once five years ago. I know, I kept telling myself that we all do the old internet search on any prospective mate these day, it’s on a par with daydreaming at school whilst doodling the surnames of you and your newly beloved hyphenated on your maths book. Just a bit of escapism. But surly you don’t go waving the paper graffiti in your new beau’s face and expect them to have an opinion as to which font looks best when you’re on a second date. Where’s the mystery in that?

Keeping one foot in the old and one in the new way of dating can be a bit of a balancing act. How long do you wait before you message back? Should you judge that they might become too clingy if every one of their past profile pictures is of them in a couple? How many days before casually meeting a new person is it cool to Friend Request them? I shall watch my pals and learn from their stumbles. And maybe through a few of my own.

Victoria Nangle editorial@thelatest.co.uk

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S

ince my last column I turned 25 and it pains me to say that my once impressive metabolism has left without a farewell and my waist seems to be expanding exponentially. Now this may be due to many things, however when you consider that two bottles of beer are the calorie equivalent of a sirloin steak, it may be that I’m drinking too many steaks.

This epiphany has got me thinking about whether it’s possible to enjoy a boozy beverage without getting rotund. There a couple of problems with the whole being healthy and loving booze thing, first and foremost, drinks are full of empty calories. It’s not just beer either, that satisfying double G and T you are swigging down has the same calorie content as a chocolate filled pancake.

Secondly, calling drinks “satisfying” (see above paragraph) is an inaccurate adjective. Science shows that when we drink our calories, we don’t feel satisfied, literally. With the notable exception of milk, fluid intake typically isn’t sufficient to trigger production of the hormones that alert the brain that the stomach has been fed. Meaning that you can drink a lot without feeling full.

So, what can you do to stay skinny, healthy and drunk? There are quite a few options, some are certifiably mental, like vaping booze which is a thing if you want to search it. Other methods are more reasonable, like enjoying your spirits with no mixers. Spirits are relatively lower in calories and if you’re like me, you drink them slowly because the burn lets you know you are getting tipsy. If beer is your thing then Guinness and other stouts are a good option. Stouts and lager both have vitamins B12 and soluble fibre, but only stouts have antioxidants. Finally, an honourable mention goes out to Tequila, as its low in calories, is a probiotic and it helps digestion.

I hope this is all helpful but let’s be honest, the best way to be healthy and drink alcohol is to do so in moderation.

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Head of Sales & Marketing Lesley Lawrence CEO Bill Smith Editor Victoria Nangle Sales Manager Tracey Davidson Design/Production Kyle Moon TV Scheduling Dan Roberts TV Team Jamie Walker, Leon Gerigk, Matthew Enderby, Jodie Allan

LATEST HOMES, 14-17 MANCHESTER STREET, BRIGHTON, BN2 1TF Editorial: editorial@thelatest.co.uk

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HOT LIST

Chaula’s, Lewes

Chaula’s is renowned for its signature dishes, distinctive décor and friendly staff. All meals are made fresh to order and every curry has its own distinctively flavoured sauce. There is also a wide variety of vegetarian and vegan, as well as gluten and wheat­free dishes.

Buffet available 12pm–3pm, Monday to Saturday.

Lewes, BN7 2LP, 01273 476707 www.chaulas.co.uk

The Restaurant at Drakes, Brighton

The exceptional standards at The Restaurant at Drakes has again won them the top score in Brighton in The Good Food Guide ‘18.

Known for their imaginative, well executed dishes and created by an established team ensures every dining experience at Drakes is a memorable one.

The Private Dining Room adds intimacy and an extra special touch to any occasion and includes the service of a dedicated waiter.

3 course Lunch for the Price of 2 courses!

To redeem, quote The Latest when you book (max 6 people ­ valid Sun to Thurs)

The Restaurant at Drakes Hotel, 43­44 Marine Parade, Brighton, BN2 1PE 01273 696934, www.drakesofbrighton.com

Chaula’s, Brighton

Boho Gelato, Brighton

A second venue for this brilliant Indian restaurant is now open here in Brighton. Chaula and her team breathe fresh air into the idea of Indian food with authentic recipes served in stylish surroundings.

The cooking has an altogether healthier approach – but not at the cost of flavour. Thali Deals available 12pm­3pm; Meal Deal £9.99.

Brighton, BN1 1HT, 01273 771661, www.chaulas.co.uk

24 ever­changing Italian Ice Cream flavours ranging from Vanilla to Violet, Mango to Mojito and Apple to Avocado taken from an ever growing list of now over 400! Handmade on site daily at 6 Pool Valley Brighton – Off East Street near the Palace Pier and also available at their new shop in Ship Street. www.bohogelato.co.uk | 6 Pool Valley, Brighton New Shop – 31 Ship Street, Brighton | 01273 727205

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SIMPLE MINDS Hard to believe, but Glasgow legends have been going since 1977, forming from the ashes of punk band Johnny & Self Abusers. Jim Kerr and Charlie Burchill remain at the helm of this remarkable band who have stayed true to their origins and to the music they make, refusing to join the celebrity/cabaret/retro circuits, instead continuing to release original music that is always heartfelt, and euphoric in tone and atmosphere. Walk Between Worlds is their 18th studio album. Jim Kerr chats with Jeff Hemmings

Walk Between Worlds in your first album since 2014’s Big Music. Was there any different approach to making this one?

Big Music got a really good reaction from media and fans alike. Not just the positive things they said, but the language was good, you know.

‘Back to form’, and all this stuff. We were very buoyed up with the whole thing. So, we’d built up a little head of steam.

Then when our last tour rather conveniently finished in Scotland, Charlie and I… we work all the time.

I notice you’re playing some dates with The Pretenders in August.

What can I say!? We’re huge fans (of The Pretenders). To me, Chrissie is one of the true greats. She happens to be family as well in my case (Kerr was married to Chrissie Hyde, lead singer of The Pretenders in 1984 [divorced in 1990].

They have one daughter named Yasmin). We have kids, and grand kids. I see her quite often, but I hadn’t seen her play live for quite a while. And they were on outrageous form.

They’re amazing.

Can you tell me about the title track, ‘Walk Between Worlds’?

In a nutshell, it’s about empathy. It’s about this idea of putting yourself in someone else’s shoes. Can you feel what they’re feeling? Can you empathise? Can you feel for them when they’re going through something grave, some of the worst horrors imaginable? Can you emote?

It’s this idea, do we have an

the (Manchester) Arena. We were in Liverpool that night, which is very close. Had a great gig, jumped on the bus, and somebody said there’s a bit of a hold up going into Manchester. Something has happened. We found ourselves entering Manchester a couple of hours after that tragedy had taken place. No one knew what was going to happen, but we got up the next day and we didn’t know if

“ Can you feel for them when they’re

going through something grave, some of the worst horrors imaginable? ”

empathy gene? Do we have it? if we do have it, how come some people seem to have it more than others! So, the song is about walking in someone else’s shoes.

‘Dirty Old Town’, which is on the Deluxe version of the CD. It’s live recording, an old Ewan MaColl song. Why did you do that one?

We played it in Manchester the night after the bombing at

the gig was on, or even if we should play. But the promoter said the gig was on, and that the city wants to move ahead.

It was a great night, but as you can imagine it wasn’t an ordinary night, and at the soundcheck we said, ‘let’s do something for Manchester.

Let’s play this Ewan MacColl song that he had written for Manchester. We did it a couple of times at the soundcheck, and then at the

gig. The recording you hear is through our desk. The singer, Sarah Brown makes it.

It’s good to see you made headlines again, with your current battle with Justin Timberlake for the number one spot in the album charts!

If somebody told me ten years I’d be battling with Justin Timberlake I would never have believed them. But listen, somebody said to me the other day, ‘chart positions and all that stuff. Do you care about that’? And I said, ‘ummmmm… NO!!’ He said ‘Liar!’, and I said ‘You’re right’ But, I said, ‘We’re in a different game’. And he said, ‘What do you mean you’re in a different game? What different game is this’? And I said, ‘We’re in the game of trying to be f*****g great. We want to make great records, and play great shows’! We’ll get what we’re gonna get and we’ll be happy.

Simple Minds & The Pretenders, South of England Event Centre, Ardently, Sat 1 September www.simpleminds.com

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MICHAEL PARKINSON

Sir Michael Parkinson, a true broadcasting legend and certified national treasure, celebrates some of the defining moments of his tenure in the media with a live audience interview at Theatre Royal Brighton. We had a few questions for him ahead of his arrival in Brighton...

You are hosting An Audience With Sir Michael Parkinson at Theatre Royal Brighton. Can you let us know what the audience can expect?

Well actually I’m co­hosting.

The show is myself in conversation with my son and long term producer Mike, who takes me through my life and career with the help of some classic clips from the Parkinson archive. It’s the story of how I made it out of a pit village to the top of those famous stairs with all the highs and lows along the way in the company of Connolly, Ali, Lauren Bacall, Sir David Attenborough, Joan Rivers, Sir Michael Caine. Madonna, Dame Edna Everage... to name but a few. It’s a great show which I love doing and If I wasn’t on stage I would buy a ticket!

In your mind what is the role of the media in society?

I’ve never found a better description then the original mission statement of the BBC – to inform, educate and entertain.

Best interview?

Not one you would expect me to say: it was with the eminent scientist Professor Jacob Bronowski. He was the writer and presenter of that landmark book and television series The Ascent of Man. It was the one time that the shape and progression of the interview went exactly the way I had prepared. But that

we had all interviewed. We then showed each other (the answers) at the same time.

Each of us had written down Thor Heyerdahl, the Norweigan anthropologist most famous for the Kon­Tiki expedition in the Pacific. We all agreed he would not be our first choice as a crewmate on a deep sea cruise.

“ To be accepted into their inner circle without an ounce of musical talent is a real honour ”

was more to do with Professor Bronowski’s perfect command of the English language and his forensic mind than my interviewing skills.

Worst interview?

Once, when they were still with us, I sat down with Alan Whicker and David Frost, both of whom I liked and deeply admired, and we agreed to write down on a piece of paper the worst interviewee

Top three songs ever written?

Too many. Here’s three that are near the top of my list: ‘I’ve Got You Under My Skin’ by Cole Porter, sung by Frank Sinatra with the arrangement

by Nelson Riddle.

‘Summertime’ by George and Ira Gershwin, sung peerlessly

by Louis Armstrong and Ella Fitzgerald. ‘Love For Sale’, again by Cole Porter, played as an instrumental by the Buddy Rich Big Band.

Proudest moment from your career?

Being awarded Honorary membership of the Musicians Union. Music has given me such joy in my life and my respect for anyone with musical talent knows no bounds. To be accepted into their inner circle without an ounce of musical talent is a real honour.

What do you make of current British television?

Slick, brilliantly produced and full of talent yet sadly often soulless and derivative. I was lucky to come into television when I did.

Any advice to give for up and coming broadcasters / interviewers today?

It’s difficult to do so because the media environment they are coming into is not one I recognize, nor to be honest understand. The only piece of advice I can give any aspiring interviewer is do your homework and listen.

An Evening With Sir Michael Parkinson, Theatre Royal Brighton, Sunday 1 April, 7.30pm, from £29.15

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STAGE

REVIEW Of Mice and Men

Britain’s favourite magician, master of mind­control and psychological illusionist Derren Brown comes to Eastbourne

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overs of magic and mystery should already be getting excited about the news that Derren Brown is back on the road with yet another evening of intriguing illusion and mind play. Anyone who has had the pleasure of catching one of his incredible tours must surely have booked for this! And the

Derren Brown: The Push. The other two specials are a televised version of his celebrated live show Derren Brown: Miracle and a brand new special, the details of which are currently under wraps.

Tickets for Underground in Eastbourne have sold

“ The Olivier Award nomination for Derren Brown:

Underground is a big coup for Derren who is described variously as "illusionist, mentalist, trickster, hypnotist, painter, writer, and sceptic" ” Olivier Award nomination for Derren Brown: Underground in the Best Entertainment and Family category is a big coup for Derren, who is described variously as "illusionist, mentalist, trickster, hypnotist, painter, writer, and sceptic".

This comes after a worldwide distribution deal with Netflix to screen three TV specials, which began on 27 February 2018 with

10 | LATEST 7

exceptionally fast unsurprisingly, and due to demand restricted view seats, which are not usually allocated for sale, have had to be released. And extra screens will be in place to ensure that all audience members will have a good view of the proceedings.

Underground brings together a collection of his very best work and promises a jaw­

dropping experience of magical genius and epic showmanship not to be missed. Having seen several of his shows we know that this is true. Brown is the name to be conjured with when it comes to modern magic.

Derren Brown: Underground Devonshire Park Theatre 10 – 14 April, eastbournetheatres.co.uk Box Office on 01323 412000.

he dramatisation of classic fiction is a fashionable trend in British theatre and a trend that is fraught with pitfalls. Some companies pull it off with style whilst others simply try and fail. If you are an avid reader then the whole experience can either remind you of how great a book is or, leave you deeply dissatisfied that the heart of a book has been lost. This new production of John Steinbeck’s classic goes along way to succeeding and much of that is due to excellent performances from Richard Keigthley as George, Matthew Wynn as as Lennie and Andrew Boyer as Candy, and one should also mention Kevin Mathurin as Crooks. It’s a stylish production, beautifully set and lit, and it pulls no punches when it comes to gruesome elements of the story either delivering with full impact the bleak sadness of the tale. It only remains to say that this is a very good piece of work, but for me, no stage version could ever deliver the full package of Steinback’s beautiful command of language and its poetry.

Theatre Royal Brighton, 12 March 2018 ★★★★★ Andrew Kay

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B R I G H TO N L I G H T S W H AT TO D O I N T H E C I T Y

MUSIC, ENTERTAINMENT & COMEDY WITH VICTORIA NANGLE

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Godfathers of hair metal .music, the New Jersey kids with punk and metal attitude Skid Row play this surprisingly intimate gig on the seafront, mixing up new songs with old classics. Get your mosh on!

Concorde2, Wednesday 21 March, 7.30pm, £25

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After global domination .with One Direction, Niall Horan has embarked upon his very own Flicker World Tour, showcasing his solo work (his single ‘Slow Hands’ hitting the Number One spot in 44 countries). With VIP packages available for super fans too, swooning is to be expected.

Brighton Centre, Tuesday 27 March, 6.30pm, from £32.90

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One quarter of the darkly humorous top .quality Gein’s Family Gift Shop sketch group (she’s off stage on director and writer duties in case you didn’t recognise her) and one half of the popular serial killer podcast All Killa No Filla, Kiri Pritchard­McLean brings her second solo show Appropriate Adult to us. Such a strong relationship with the ‘wrong’ cannot go unrewarded when her deepest wish was to mentor vulnerable kids – and thus a morality show was born from an immoral comedian.

The Old Market, Wednesday 21 March, 8pm, £12.50/10

6

For a marvellous mixture of weekend .comedy (at a very affordable price tag) pop along to Mystery Meat Comedy and feast on Funny Women Variety Act award­winner Sooz Kempner. A very funny and talented musical comedian, if you haven’t seen her yet seize the chance. Plus support in the form of other award­winning comedians Lynne Ruth Miller and Martin Wratten. All hosted by your MC Anthony Ayton. Bonza.

Latest Musicbar, Saturday 24 March, 7.30pm, £7/5

@latestvicky

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After the band’s recent live .appearance in London, Brighton fans of Flight Of The Conchords are refusing to be left out with this specially themed disco. Joining too many dudes on the dancefloor and a spot of ‘Business Time’ will be New Zealand treasures (plenty of Dave Dobbyn), Simon and Garfunkel, rappers, nothing Australian, Daft Punk and The Muppets soundtrack. Muppets of a man may feel free to attend.

Komedia, Friday 23 March, 11pm–3am, £10/7/5 (18+)

4

At the culmination of the .Brighton Philharmonic Orchestra’s Education Programme of interactive workshops is the glorious idea of an Open Rehearsal for Children. An introduction to the orchestra, the instruments, and snippets of a few pieces ahead of this afternoon’s show.

Brighton Dome, Sunday 25 March, 10.15am­11am, £Places are free but must be booked in advance.

To discover 20 more things to do this week, watch Brighton Lights show on Latest TV every Monday at 8.30pm.

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MOVIES ON LATEST TV All day & late night

Tuesday 20 March

Friday 23 March

6.15am Blind Spot 1958. Crime Drama directed by Peter Maxwell. Starring Robert Mackenzie, Michael Caine and Delphi Lawrence. US Officer Adams, blinded during the war, is framed on a diamond-smuggling rap.

6.00am Yank In Ermine FILM OF THE DAY 1955. Comedy. An American air-man (Peter Thompson) inherits an English title but will he cope with English nobility? Starring Jon Pertwee and Sid James.

7.45 Escape Route 1952. Crime drama directed by Seymour Friedman & Peter Graham Scott. When nuclear scientists are kidnapped, an FBI man and a British agent must find the culprit. Sally Gray's last film.

9.30 Pride Of the Yankees 1942. Drama. Director: Sam Wood. Stars Gary Cooper, Babe Ruth, Teresa Wright & Walter Brennan. A biographical drama based on the life of baseball hall of famer Lou Gehrig.

12.00pm The Late Edwina Black 1951. Drama. Director: Maurice Elvey. Stars David Farrar, Geraldine Fitzgerald & Roland Culver. When a sickly Victorian woman dies, a postmortem reveals that her body contains a fatal dose of arsenic.

1.35 County Hospital FILM OF THE DAY 1932. Comedy. Director: James Parrott. Stars Stan Laurel, Oliver Hardy, Billy Gilbert & Dorothy Layton. Laurel and Hardy bring their antics to the hospital when Ollie is bed-ridden with a broken leg.

3.00 Life In Emergency Ward 10 1959. Drama. Based on the smash hit TV series about the daily life and the ups and downs of a hospital. Stars Michael Craig, Wilfred Hyde-White and Joan Simms.

4.45 The Black Rider 1954. Directed by Wolf Rilla and starring Jimmy Hanley, Rona Anderson and Lionel Jeffries. A local reporter discovers a group of enemy agents, but will the story get him promotion?

11.25 The Way to the Stars 1945. War. Stars Michael Redgrave, Sir John Mills, Rosamund John & Stanley Holloway. This tale of WW2 pilots highlights the impact that war has on soldiers and those at home.

7.40 An Alligator Named Daisy 1955. Comedy. Director: J Lee Thompson. Stars Donald Sinden, Jeannie Carson, James Robertson. When Peter Weston returns to England he finds that Daisy, a tame alligator, has been left in his care.

9.25 Story of Shirley Yorke 1948. Drama. Director: Maclean Rogers. Stars Dinah Sheridan, Derek Farr & John Robinson. Nurse Yorke assists her boss, Dr Napier, who is able of effecting a new treatment on the ailing wife of a Lord.

11.15 The Way to the Stars 1945. War. Stars Michael Redgrave, Sir John Mills, Rosamund John & Stanley Holloway. This tale of WW2 pilots highlights the impact that war has on soldiers and those at home.

3.00pm Man of the Moment 1955. Comedy. Directed by John Paddy Carstairs. Stars Norman Wisdom, Belinda Lee, Lana Morris & Jerry Desmonde. A Civil Servant, becomes a British delegate to a diplomatic conference in Geneva.

4.45 It's in the Bag 1943. Directed by Herbert Mason. Sisters Gert and Daisy find out an old dress of Granny's that they have sold had ÂŁ20,000 sewn into the hem. Can they get it back? Stars Elsie & Doris Waters.

10.15 The Cassandra Crossing 1976. Drama. Stars Sophia Loren, Richard Harris, Ava Gardner, Burt Lancaster & Martin Sheen. Passengers of a European train can't escape after a deadly virus is planted.

Wednesday 21 March

Ramrod

Sunday 25 March 6.00am Greed of William Hart 1950. Horror. Directed by Oswald Mitchell and screenplay by John Gilling. Set in Edinburgh in the 1800s and starring Tod Slaughter as William Hart the infamous grave robber.

7.55 Bombay Waterfront 1952. Directed by Maclean Rogers and starring John Bentley, Patricia Dainton and Peter Gawthorne. Follows Temple's efforts to aid the police in solving a series of gruesome murders.

6.10am Shadow of Fear 1963. Crime drama directed by Ernest Morris and starring Paul Maxwell, Clare Owen and Anita West. Waiting for his flight home from Baghdad, Bill takes a message from a British secret agent.

12.15pm Oh, Mr Porter!

1937. Comedy. Directed by Marcel Varnel. Stars Will Hay, Graham Moffatt & Moore Marriott. A hopeless railway employee is made stationmaster of Buggleskelly.

7.25 Our Girl Friday FILM OF THE DAY 1953. Comedy. Directed by Noel Langley. A British cast lead this story about a shipwrecked group on a tropical island. Stars Joan Collins, George Cole, Kenneth More & Peter Sellers voices the Parrot.

8.55 Quartet 1948. Drama. Director Ken Annakin, Arthur Crabtree, Harold French & Ralph Smart. Stars Cecil Parker, Dirk Bogarde & George Cole. Four of Somerset Maugham's stories brought to the screen.

1.55 Here Come The Huggetts FILM OF THE DAY 1948. Comedy. Director Ken Annakin. Stars Jack Warner, Kathleen Harrison, Petula Clark. The Huggetts have a telephone installed, along with a niece who causes disruption when she turns up.

11.25 Moulin Rouge 1952. Drama. Director: John Huston. Stars Jose Ferrer & Zsa Zsa Gabor. The story is that of the crippled artist who forgets his worries by drinking and mingling at the Moulin Rouge nightclub in Paris.

3.45 Demi-Paradise 1943. Drama. Directed by Anthony Asquith. Stars Laurence Olivier, Penelope Ward, Margaret Rutherford & Felix Aylmer. A Russian engineer recounts his time in England during WW2.

3.00pm Hour of Decision 1957. Crime. Stars Lionel Jeffries & Hazel Court. Reporter Joe (Jeff Morrow) finds his wife is the prime suspect in a murder investigation.

10.00 Mr Perrin & Mr Trail 1948. Drama. Directed by Lawrence Huntington. Stars David Farrar, Greta Gynt, Marius Goring & Raymond Huntley. A Schoolmaster is upset when a new teacher becomes an immediate success with the boys.

4.35 Undercover Girl 1958. Crime Drama. A reporter on the verge of exposing a drugs ring is killed before he can write the story. Stars Paul Carpenter & Jackie Collins.

11.00 Forbidden Cargo 1954. Drama. Directed by Harold French. Starring: Jack Warner, Nigel Patrick, Elizabeth Sellars and Terence Morgan. Narcotics agent Michael Kenyon receives a tip about a drug smuggling operation.

Thursday 22 March 6.00am Honeymoon 1947. Comedy. A prospective bride and groom have misadventures in Mexico City. Starring Shirley Temple, Franchot Tone.

7.25 Crooked Sky 1957. Crime drama directed by Henry Cass. An American detective & Scotland Yard must work together to crack a counterfeit gang. Stars Wayne Morris, Karin Booth and Anton Diffring.

8.55 No Trace 1950. Drama. Directed by John Gilling. Writer Robert Southley finds his lifestyle threatened by blackmail from a former American criminal associate. Stars Hugh Sinclair, Dinah Sheridan & John Laurie.

FILM OF THE DAY 10.30 Oh, Mr Porter!

1937. Comedy. Directed by Marcel Varnel. Stars Will Hay, Graham Moffatt & Moore Marriott. A hopeless railway employee is made stationmaster of Buggleskelly.

12.10pm Somewhere on Leave 1943. War Comedy. Stars Frank Randle, Harry Korris & Dan Young.

Wealthy Private Roy takes his soldier friends Randle, Enoch and Young to his palatial home to help him get his dream girl.

3.00 The Price of Silence 1959. Drama. Director: Montgomery Tully. Stars Gordon Jackson, June Thorburn & Mary Clare. Roger forges a new life for himself after his release from prison. But his past catches up with him.

4.35 House of Blackmail 1953. Crime. Directed by Maurice Elvey. An Army officer (William Sylvester) and Carol (Mary Germaine) must solve the murder of a blackmailer or be charged themselves.

Oh, Mr Porter!

Saturday 24 March 6.00am Carry On Admiral 1957. Comedy directed by Val Guest and starring David Tomlinson, Peggy Cummins & Alfie Bass. An MP is mistaken for his naval friend and put in charge of the fighting ship HMS Sherwood!

7.40 Below Zero 1930. Comedy. Director: James Parrott. Stars Stan Laurel, Oliver Hardy & Charlie Hall. Laurel and Hardy play street musicians struggling to earn money on a cold winter day.

8.05 Night Ride 1937. Drama. tars Jimmy Hanley, Wally Patch, Julian Vedey & Joan Ponsford. Two drivers, sacked by the crooked trucking company they work for, decide to form their own.

12.00pm This Happy Breed 1944. Drama. Director: David Lean. Stars Robert Newton, Celia Johnson, John Mills & Stanley Holloway. After WW1, a family lead an ordinary sort of life until the outbreak of WW2.

2.15 Forbidden Cargo 1954. Drama. Directed by Harold French. Starring: Jack Warner, Nigel Patrick, Elizabeth Sellars and Terence Morgan. Narcotics agent Michael Kenyon receives a tip about a drug smuggling operation.

4.00 Secret Mission 1942. War. Director: Harold French. Stars James Mason, Michael Wilding, Carla Lehmann & Hugh Williams. British intelligence are sent to assess the German defence of Nazi occupied France.

FILM OF THE DAY 10.05 Soldier of Fortune 1955. Drama. Director: Edward Dmytryk. Stars Clark Gable, Susan Hayward, Gene Barry and Michael Rennie. Jane Hoyt comes to Hong Kong to find her husband who has been missing for three months.

Monday 26 March 6.00am The Cowboy & the Lady 1938. Drama. Director: H C Potter. Stars Gary Cooper, Merle Oberon & Walter Brennan. An adventure is born when a presidential nominee's daughter is mistaken for a maid by a cowboy and falls in love.

7.50 Dry Rot 1956. Comedy. Director: Maurice Elvey. Stars Ronald Shiner, Brian Rix, Peggy Mount & Sid James. Three bookies attempt to recoup their losses by attempting to rig a horse race.

10.25 Piccadilly Third Stop 1960. Drama. Directed by Wolf Rilla. Starring Terence Morgan, YĂ´ko Tani & John Crawford. Morgan as a playboy petty thief looking for the big time & Crawford as a yank in London and bad tempered crook.

12.10pm The Lion Has Wings 1939. War. Stars Ralph Richardson, Merle Oberon, June Duprez & Flora Robson. Alexander Korda's film for the British war effort shows the world both at peace and on the verge of Nazi domination.

3.00 Ramrod FILM OF THE DAY 1947. Western. Connie Dickson (Veronica Lake) plans to marry a sheep rancher, but her father teams up with land baron Frank Ivey to drive the man out of town.

4.50 Captain's Table 1936. Crime drama starring Percy Marmont. On board a luxury liner, a passenger is murdered and suspects are plentiful. Can the Captain find the killer?

10.00 Hands Of The Ripper 1971. Horror. Director: Peter Sasdy. Stars Eric Porter, Jane Merrow, Angharad Rees & Dora Bryan. Jack the Ripper's daughter seems possessed by her father's spirit 15 years after her mother's murder.

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TV LISTINGS

on

The World’s Ugliest Pets ITV1, 8pm Beauty is clearly in the eye of the beholder as some of these ‘uglies’ are downright cutie pies. Although others aren’t.

Caroline Quentin shares her of ‘fugly’ with atrip to The World’s Ugliest Dog Contest in California, as well as meeting giant snails, hairless guinea pigs and more.

The Great Celebrity Bake Off For Stand Up To Cancer Channel 4, 8pm It’s a cunning and wiley programme that can pull on your heartstrings whilst also making your mouth water and entertain from start to finish – a ridiculous telly Holy Grail. And yet here it is, with Tim Minchin, Jamie Laing, Ella Eyre and Ruth Davidson building meringue towers to raise money to fight cancer.

Tuesday 20 6.00pm Latest News 6.30 The Vote Guests from the world of politics discuss local and national issues.

7.00 Football Weekly Darren 'The Hartman' Hart looks back at the week's football with the help of his studio guests.

7.30 Football Fanatics More nostalgic football stories looking at the absolute legends of the game.

8.00 Latest News 8.30 Live From the Roadee Live music from the Roadee - a mobile recording studio.

9.00 AK Soufflé Andrew Kay introduces special guests in this LGBT-focused chat show.

9.30 Queer Say Andrew Kay's look at LGBT news and media from around the world with the help of their studio guest.

10.00 Miss Jason's House Party An entertaining game show hosted by the talented Miss Jason.

11.00 Guy Lloyd's 2-Minute Telly Show 11.05 Guy Lloyd's 2-Minute Telly Show 11.10 The Arun Valley Postcard Trail 11.25 FILM: The Way to the Stars (1945) War. Director: Anthony Asquith.

Stars Michael Redgrave, Sir John Mills, Rosamund John & Stanley Holloway.

1.30am Glimpses: The History of Women in Film

BBC1

6.00pm BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show If it's got Britain talking then it will get talked about on The One Show. Presented by Matt Baker and Alex Jones.

7.30 EastEnders Another visit to the residents of Albert Square.

7.57 BBC News And Regional News 8.00 Holby City No Matter Where You Go, There You Are - Part One. The events surrounding Elaine Warren's death are relived in court. With new revelations emerging, can Ric fight for freedom? Desperate to no longer be Roxanna's pet patient, Ollie pushes himself to the brink. But what future awaits him on the other side? Jac has eyes for Fletch, but when things take a turn for the worse Frieda is the one she turns to for help.

9.00 Shetland Crime drama set on the remote Scottish islands. The personal and the professional collide for Perez, as he finally closes in on the truth.

10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.30 South East Today 10.45 This Country Minor Injuries.

Mockumentary exploring the lives of young people in modern rural Britain.

It's the first Saturday of the month and Kurtan tries to make a pilgrimage to Swindon to buy the new clothes of the season.

11.10 TBA 12.05am Weather For The Week Ahead

BBC2

6.00pm Eggheads Jeremy Vine hosts the quiz show.

6.30 The Repair Shop 7.00 Saving Lives At Sea Documentary series following the men and women of the Royal National Lifeboat Institution (RNLI).

8.00 Great Indian Railway Journeys 9.00 Amazing Hotels: Life Beyond The Lobby Ashford Castle, Ireland. Monica Galetti and Giles Coren hop across to Ireland to scale the imposing and ancient ramparts of Ashford Castle.

10.00 Mum Subtle family sitcom seen through the eyes of Cathy, following a year in her life as she moves on from the death of her husband.

10.25 The Archiveologists A Library in Action. Diane Morgan and Joe Wilkinson delve into the archives to parody a 1970s documentary about Luton Library.

10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day's headlines with Evan Davis.

11.15 Gareth Thomas' Silver Skydivers For Sport Relief Rugby legend Gareth 'Alfie' Thomas is a former British Lions captain, who represented Wales at both Union and Rugby League and broke 40 bones during his playing career. He was also the first professional rugby player to publicly announce that he was gay and has proven himself in sport and in life to be totally fearless.

12.15am MasterChef

AK SOUFFLE Andrew Kay

@latestandrew

The naked truth

I

’ve talked about porn here, a few times, its relevance in modern society, the fact that for many men it is the ‘sex’ in ‘sex education’. But strangely I have never talked about erotic art or even erotica, which I sometimes think is a lame way of qualifying the validity of pornography.

My guest on the show in a week’s time is the photographer Manel Ortega. Manel grew up in Granada, a place he described as having absolutely no gay presence in his childhood, and he moved to Barcelona where he satisfied his desire to be a photographer by taking the route of an apprenticeship rather than art school.

“ You can probably see more intrusive

images of the male nude in the Victoria and Albert Museum ” For the last 15 years he has lived in Brighton and focused his work on capturing the beauty of men, naked men. I first saw his work at the launch of Matthew Callow’s new album Neon Moon.

Matt had chosen some of Manel’s imagery to project as part of his show and I was not only impressed but amazed. And why? Well unlike so much naked photography, where we are presented by the conventional images of ripped young men, pretty men with perfect bodies, groomed to within an inch of their lives, male

ITV1

6.00pm ITV News Meridian 6.30 ITV Evening News 7.00 Emmerdale Debbie submits to Joe's demands, a shocking betrayal is revealed.

7.30 100 Year Old Driving School RoSPA have set up their campaign HQ at Hicks Gate Fire Station in Bristol, and watching their endeavours are a bemused set of firefighters.

8.00 The World's Ugliest Pets See highlights.

9.00 100 Years Younger in 21 Days The pressure is on as the well-worn famous subjects do everything that they can to shave some much-needed years off their brain, body and face ages before the Professor reveals their final results. Shaun gets his nose shrunk, Roy has an accident, Russell attempts to swim and gets sick, and two of the clinic's rejuvenation experts believe that the subjects won't make the collective target of 100 years younger in 21 days.

10.00 ITV News at Ten 10.30 ITV News Meridian 10.45 The Cruise: Voyage to Alaska It's Destination Alaska as the crew of the Star Princess voyage to one of the world's last frontiers.

11.10 Four Days That Shook Britain This landmark documentary tells the story of people who were directly affected by the wave of terror attacks that shook Britain across a period of four months in 2017.

12.30am Jackpot247

Channel 4

6.00pm The Simpsons When Bart is accused of playing a prank on the school marching band - which he says he didn't commit - Lisa defends her brother by acting as his attorney in youth court.

6.30 Hollyoaks Cindy prepares to launch her business while Tony is onto Milo.

7.00 Channel 4 News 8.00 The Great Celebrity Bake Off For Stand Up To Cancer See highlights.

9.15 Seven Year Switch Relationship expert Lee Valls sets the switched couples the excruciating task of reenacting a past argument - warts and all. The exercise can offer the couples significant clues as to what needs to change between them. Relationship coach Vena Ramphal gets everyone to open up about that most private subject: sex.

10.20 Gogglebox Another chance to see Friday's new episode as the biggest and best TV moments of the week get a grilling from Britain's sharpest armchair critics.

11.20 Before We Die: Walter Presents Walter Presents - which showcases the best foreign language drama series from around the world continues with this compelling Swedish thriller in which a police detective must step in to handle an informant when her colleague goes missing.

12.30am Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA Victoria Nangle

imagery that perpetuates the myth and tyranny of youth and conventional good looks, Manel photographs real men. There are hairy men, older men, chubby men and bald men. Yes there are the finely tuned bodies in that conventional sense, but they are only a part of Manel’s body of work.

Manel produces an amazing volume of work too, called Manolo.

He describes it as a magazine but the production values far exceed those that you usually find on the newsagent’s shelf, and to be honest you will not find it there. I see it far more as a catalogue or a book even. The first issue was only his work but in the second he invited other artists to contribute2 and the release of number three has seen not only an increase in the size but also in the print run, and as well as the imagery there are words, artists and writers collaborating. I was impressed. This is a self publishing venture that has an open heart.

Manel is charming, gentle and in no way invasive. There is a real sense of modesty and it manifests itself in his images. They are celebratory rather than voyeuristic, and whilst some are incredibly intimate many are simply sculptural. You can probably see more intrusive images of the male nude in the Victoria and Albert Museum – and I think that Manel’s work should be seen there!

You can buy Manel’s book Manolo at Magazine Brighton in Trafalgar Street, Tate Modern in London and online at www.manolomagazine.com

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TV LISTINGS Location, Location, Location Thursday, Channel 4, 8pm The property pair are back! It’s a brand new series of house escapism, letting you measure up and head out to pastures fresh without ever having to leave your comfy sofa spot.

This week Phil and Kirstie are in Reading.

Martin Luther King by Trevor McDonald Thursday, ITV1, 9pm Sir Trevor travels to the Deep South of America to on the anniversary of Martin Luther King’s death to find out more about the man that meant so much to him, along the way interviewing black role models from all walks of life.

Thursday 22

Wednesday 21 6.00pm Latest News 6.30 Democracy Now! 7.00 Extra Time An interesting, insightful and humourous look at the latest news in the world of football.

7.30 Football Heroes A chance to relive the careers of some of the biggest icons of football from the last 15 years.

8.00 Latest News 8.30 Democracy Now! Politics and discussion from the USA. 9.00 The Rosies Very special episode, The Rosies interview one of their own: plus-size model Kitty Underhill, to discuss body-positivity and health.

9.30 Queer Say Andrew Kay's look at LGBT news and media from around the world with the help of their studio guest.

10.00 Under The Radar Paul and Jeff present videos by PiL, Humble Pie, Blodwyn Pig, Motorhead, Deep Purple.

10.30 Under The Radar Paul and Jeff present a Bernie Worrell special.

11.00 FILM: Forbidden Cargo (1954) Drama.

12.45am FILM: The Late Edwina Black (1951)

BBC1

6.00pm BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show If it's got Britain talking then it will get talked about on The One Show.

Presented by Matt Baker and Alex Jones.

7.57 BBC News And Regional News 8.00 MasterChef Restaurateur John Torode and fruit and veg man Gregg Wallace look for Britain's next masterchef.

9.00 Zoe Ball's Hardest Road Home The DJ and presenter’s remarkable sports feat for Sports Relief, back gome to Brighton.

10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.30 South East Today 10.45 A Question Of Sport Sue Barker hosts the lighthearted sports quiz with team captains Matt Dawson and Phil Tufnell.

11.15 Film 2018 The latest film reviews, news and interviews.

11.45 FILM: Short Term 12 (2013) US drama that explores the dilemmas faced by a worker in a shelter for troubled teenagers.

1.15am Weather For The Week Ahead

BBC2

6.00pm Eggheads Jeremy Vine hosts the quiz show.

6.30 The Repair Shop 7.00 Saving Lives At Sea Documentary series following the men and women of the Royal National Lifeboat Institution (RNLI). In Southend, a family of five out sightseeing are a mile off shore and waist-deep in water after being caught out by the tide.

8.00 The Secret Helpers 9.00 The Assassination Of Gianni Versace American Crime Story Drama about the shocking true story of a manipulative, narcissistic fantasist with a fatal charm.

9.55 Live At The Apollo Series of cutting-edge stand-up comedy recorded at the Hammersmith Apollo.

10.30 Newsnight Indepth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day's headlines with Evan Davis.

11.15 Famously Unfit For Sports Relief 12.15am David Attenborough's Natural Curiosities

ITV1

6.00pm ITV News Meridian 6.30 ITV Evening News 7.00 Emmerdale Joe makes another enemy.

7.30 Coronation Street Fiz waits too long to be honest with Tyrone.

8.00 Britain's Brightest Family Having made it through to the quarterfinals, two bright families go head to head for a place in the semifinals.

8.30 Coronation Street Tyrone berates Fiz for letting Ruby take the blame.

9.00 Benidorm Joyce is not best pleased with Monty after the chaotic magic evening fiasco, but a chance meeting with entertainment allrounder Sammy Valentino means that he might get his job back.

10.00 ITV News at Ten 10.30 ITV News Meridian 10.45 easyJet: Inside The Cockpit Documentary series following new recruits as they train to become pilots for easyJet. 11.45 Heathrow: Britain's Busiest Airport Documentary series.

12.35 Stuck on You: The Football Sticker Story

Channel 4

6.00pm The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Cindy is preparing to make a speech to the village.

7.00 Channel 4 News 8.00 The Supervet A Labrador puppy has an elbow disease that Professor Noel Fitzpatrick says is as bad as it gets in a dog this young.

9.00 One Born Every Minute The awardwinning documentary series highlights the extraordinary highs and lows at Birmingham Women's Hospital maternity ward as parents' lives change forever when they welcome new babies into the world.

10.00 Damned The current series of the fearless topical comedy set at Elm Heath Social Services comes to an end. Rose is smitten with Dennis, but it's hard dating the boss's brother, and Lee is making a last ditch attempt to win her back.

10.30 24 Hours In Police Custody Another chance to see Monday's new episode.

11.35 999: On The Frontline 12.15am Pokerstars

BBC1

6.15pm BBC News 6.25 South East Today 6.30 TBA 6.45 Pointless Celebrities A special Grange Hill edition of the general knowledge quiz in which four teams try to come up with the answers that no-one else could think of.

7.35 Who Dares Wins 8.20 Casualty 9.10 Troy: Fall Of A City Battle on the Beach.

Eight-part adaptation of Homer's classic tale.

The Trojans receive a message from the gods and embark on a daring raid with new allies.

Helen's situation remains precarious.

Achilles is provoked into returning to battle.

10.10 BBC News 10.30 FILM: Guardians Of The Galaxy (2014) Action adventure from Marvel Studios. Peter Quill, an adventurer, becomes the subject of a bounty hunt after stealing a mysterious orb from under the nose of the evil Ronan the Accuser.

Starring Chris Pratt, Zoe Saldana, Dave Bautista, Vin Diesel, Bradley Cooper and Lee Pace.

12.20am Weather For The Week Ahead

6.00pm Latest News 6.30 The Vote The People's Republic of Brighton and Hove Takeover. An isle of sanity in a sea of blue.

7.00 TerraPura NonLeague Show All the latest non-league football news and action from the region.

8.00 Latest News 8.30 Digital Nation The best of Local TV from across the UK. 9.00 AK Souffle Andrew Kay introduces special guests in this LGBTfocused chat show.

9.30 Out With Allan Jay Your weekly guide to what's on and where with a behind-thescenes look at LGBTfriendly venues in and around Brighton.

10.00 Miss Jason's House Party An entertaining game show hosted by the talented Miss Jason.

11.00 Under The Radar 11.30 Guy Lloyd's 2Minute Telly Show 11.35 Guy Lloyd's 2Minute Telly Show 11.40 The Arun Valley Postcard Trail 11.55 FILM: Blanche Fury (1958) Crime.

BBC1

B

BBC1

B

6.00pm BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders Mitch continues to try and worm his way in with the Taylors.

7.57 BBC News And Regional News 8.00 MasterChef Restaurateur John Torode and fruit and veg man Gregg Wallace look for Britain's next masterchef.

9.00 Not Going Out Sitcom.

9.30 Still Game Grim Up North. Comedy series in which lifelong friends cope with everything modern life has to throw at them. Boabby is persuaded to have a lock-in at The Clansman to mark the passing of Craiglang's much respected undertaker.

10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.30 South East Today 10.45 Question Time Topical debate with a panel of prominent public figures and an invited audience.

11.45 This Week Andrew Neil reviews the political week with Michael Portillo and guests.

12.30am Weather For The Week Ahead

6 s 6 R S i c f 7 D f w N I 8 D C h d S c e c 9 E M t s t 1 P G w p d t L 1 1 1

Sunday 25

Saturday 24 6.00pm Latest News 6.30 DJ Box Get to know the world of DJing and dance music.

7.00 Football Heroes A chance to relive the careers of some of the biggest icons of football from the last 15 years.

7.30 Football Heroes A chance to relive the careers of some of the biggest icons of football from the last 15 years.

8.00 Latest News 8.30 Adrenalize Highpowered thrills and spills from the world of extreme sports.

9.00 Queer Say Andrew Kay's look at LGBT news and media from around the world with the help of their studio guest.

9.30 Queer Say Andrew Kay's look at LGBT news and media from around the world with the help of their studio guest.

10.00 Guy Lloyd's 2Minute Telly Show 10.05 FILM: Soldier of Fortune (1955) Drama.

Stars Clark Gable, Susan Hayward, Gene Barry and Michael Rennie.

Jane Hoyt comes to Hong Kong to find her husband who has been missing for three months.

12.05am FILM: Handgun (1984) Drama.

Sport Relief 2018 Friday, BBC1, 7pm Ain’t it great when Sport Relief explodes into a collage of entertainment and activities that’ll work up a sweat whilst putting a smile on your face? From footballers’ Strictly Come Dancing, to BBC vs ITV Celebrity Boat Race, peppered with Celebrity Boxing Battles and much more.

BBC2

6.00pm Hugh's Wild West In the final episode, nature lover Hugh pays tribute to the wildlife heroes who are protecting the West Country's creatures.

7.00 Amazing Hotels: Life Beyond The Lobby Monica Galetti and Giles Coren hop across to Ireland to scale the imposing and ancient ramparts of Ashford Castle.

8.00 David Attenborough's Natural Curiosities Sir David Attenborough examines the mysteries behind some of nature's most fascinating creatures.

8.30 Dad's Army We Know Our Onions.

Classic wartime sitcom.

9.00 Picasso's Last Stand 10.00 FILM: A Late Quartet (2012) Drama. As the world-renowned Fugue String quartet approaches its 25th anniversary, cellist Peter Mitchell announces that he has been diagnosed with Parkinson's disease. Starring Catherine Keener, Christopher Walken, Philip Seymour Hoffman.

11.40 FILM: Safe Haven (2013) Drama.

2.30am Civilisations

ITV1

6.00pm ITV Evening News 6.20 ITV News Meridian 6.30 You've Been Framed! Home video is dead! Instead, Harry Hill downloads digital disasters.

7.00 Ant & Dec's Saturday Night Takeaway Ant and Dec are back with the Happiest 90 Minutes of the Week! Alan Carr joins in the fun as Guest Announcer and there are more Places on the Plane up for grabs in 'Sofa Watch'.

8.30 The Voice UK The second of this series's Knockout shows sees 12 more acts sing for a place in the live semifinals. Coaches Jennifer Hudson, will.i.am, Sir Tom Jones and Olly Murs can pick only one act from their teams to progress in the competition, so there are some tough decisions to make.

10.30 ITV News 10.45 FILM: Fast & Furious 5 (2011) Starring Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Jordana Brewster.

Action thriller.

2.00am Jackpot247

Channel 4

5.35pm The Secret Life Of The Zoo 6.30 Channel 4 News 7.00 Coastal Railways With Julie Walters Julie Walters, one of the country's best-loved actors, travels along Britain's beautiful coastal railway routes, exploring dramatic landscapes and uncovering surprising historical secrets.

8.00 Britain At Low Tide Tori Herridge explores the extraordinary stories from Britain's maritime, industrial and natural history that are revealed when the tide goes out.

9.00 FILM: Everest (2015) Jason Clarke, Josh Brolin, Jake Gyllenhaal and Naoko Mori are among the ensemble cast. In May 1996, dedicated enthusiasts from around the world gather high up in the Himalayas to attempt an ascent of the world's highest mountain.

11.20 FILM: Predator 2 (1990) Danny Glover stars in director Stephen Hopkins's gory sequel to the original sci-fi actionthriller starring Arnold Schwarzenegger.

2.20am Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmare’s USA

6.00pm Latest News 6.30 Family, Faith and Fun Sarah Hopwood presents the happiness debate.

7.00 British Wrestling Weekly All the latest happenings from the British Wrestling Coalition.

8.00 Latest News 8.30 Brighton Album Chart Show Anthea Clarke introduces February's top 10 based on physical album sales at Brighton's cult independent record store, Resident Music.

9.00 AK Souffle Andrew Kay introduces special guests in this LGBTfocused chat show.

9.30 Out With Allan Jay Your weekly guide to what's on and where with a behind-thescenes look at LGBTfriendly venues in and around Brighton.

10.00 FILM: Mr Perrin & Mr Trail (1948) Drama.

Stars David Farrar, Greta Gynt, Marius Goring & Raymond Huntley. A Schoolmaster is upset when a new teacher becomes an immediate success with the boys.

11.45 FILM: Quartet (1949) 2.05am Guy Lloyd's 2Minute Telly Show

6.05pm BBC News 6.20 South East Today 6.30 Countryfile Shropshire. As the birthplace of the industrial revolution, this is a landscape rich in coal and iron. But the legacy of one of the ancient coal shafts is a river that is colourful for all the wrong reasons - it runs bright orange with iron-rich ochre from the rocks below.

7.30 Hold The Sunset Comedy.

8.00 MasterChef Restaurateur John Torode and fruit and veg man Gregg Wallace look for Britain's next masterchef.

8.30 RAF At 100 With Ewan And Colin McGregor 10.00 BBC News 10.20 South East Today 10.30 FILM: War Of The Worlds (2005) Science fiction remake of the 1953 adaptation of HG Wells's classic novel about a dock worker's fight to get his children to safety when merciless aliens attack Earth. Starring Tom Cruise, Dakota Fanning, Justin Chatwin, Tim Robbins.

12.15am The Women's Football Show

5 ( H G 7 R B a B e w w R N 8 L a B f 9 S L 1 D D t t J B N M 1 G d i L 1 ( S A F 1

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on The Queen: Her Commonwealth Story Monday, BBC1, 9pm Retracing the Queen’s first Commonwealth tour from 1953, George Alagiah explores how her role heading up this family of nations has affected her – as both a monarch and a person.

Starting in Tonga, on to Ghana, India and beyond.

The Durrells Sunday, ITV1, 8pm Perfect Sunday fodder – lighthearted drama in the rather stunning Corfu based on writer Gerald Durrell’s memoirs. Leslie discovers that Daphne is pregnant, and with responsibility for the sprog lying at his doorstep the mother-tobe’s father is super-keen for a proposal to arrive.

Thrifty Ways To...

Summer Holiday Monday, Channel 4, 8.30pm Brand new series hosted by Katie Piper outlining how to get the best bang for your buck in a variety of places, starting off with your holiday planning.

Katie is joined by industry insider Amar Latif.

Friday 23 BBC2

6.00pm Eggheads Quiz show.

6.30 The Repair Shop Resident clockmaker Steve tackles an intricate Boulle-work clock that hasn't ticked for over 15 years.

7.00 Saving Lives At Sea Documentary series following the men and women of the Royal National Lifeboat Institution (RNLI).

8.00 Big Cats Documentary. Giles Clark is embarking on his biggest mission to date: to turn the Big Cat Sanctuary in Kent into a centre of global excellence for big cat conservation.

9.00 Civilisations The Eye of Faith. Professor Mary Beard broaches the controversial, sometimes dangerous, topic of religion and art.

10.00 MOTD: The Premier League Show Gabby Logan hosts the weekly magazine programme, featuring indepth interviews with the biggest Premier League stars.

10.30 Newsnight 11.15 Top Gear 12.15am MasterChef

ITV1

6.00pm ITV News Meridian 6.30 ITV Evening News 7.00 Emmerdale Liv continues to seek solace.

7.30 Pets: The True Cost - Tonight There are more than 16 million dogs and cats in the UK; they're our most popular pets, but they come at an eyewatering cost.

8.00 Emmerdale Marlon makes a fatal error.

8.30 Coronation Street Martin's fresh start gives David food for thought, Fiz and Tyrone pick up the pieces, and Sally shows off her Italian designer wallpaper.

9.00 Martin Luther King

by Trevor McDonald See highlights.

10.00 ITV News at Ten 10.30 ITV News Meridian 10.45 The World's Ugliest Pets Pictureperfect pugs, cutesy kittens, and beautiful baby rabbits - the world is awash with adorable pets, but what about the ugly ones?

11.45 The Durrells 12.40 Lethal Weapon

Channel 4

6.00pm The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Buster and Brody clash over advice for Damon.

7.00 Channel 4 News 8.00 Location, Location, Location See highlights.

9.00 My Baby’s Life: Who Decides?

Incredible advances in medical science's ability to prolong life have huge cost implications for a financially strained NHS but prompt complex questions relating to quality of life. This powerful observational documentary series provides an intimate, sensitive and heartbreaking account of the lives of children who can be kept alive but probably never cured.

10.00 The Job Interview In the final episode of the series, the RAC interview candidates for a roadside patrol officer role, based in southwest England.

11.05 Gogglebox Comedy TV review series in which viewers share commentaries from the comfort of their sofas.

12.05am Seven Year Switch

6.00pm Latest News 6.30 The Vote Guests from the world of politics discuss local and national issues.

7.00 Under The Radar Paul and Jeff show videos.

7.30 Brighton Album Chart Show February's top 10 based on physical album sales at Resident Music.

8.00 Latest News 8.30 Live From the Roadee Live music from the Roadee – a mobile recording studio.

9.00 Tales From The Margins Extra This Little Father Obsession (2016) Directed by Selim Mourad. A man confronts his own sexuality while taking his father on a quest inside their family tree.

10.00 The Arun Valley Postcard Trail 10.15 FILM: The Cassandra Crossing (1976) Drama. Director: George P Cosmatos.

Stars Sophia Loren, Richard Harris, Ava Gardner. Passengers of a European train can't escape after a deadly virus is planted.

12.50am FILM: Operation Amsterdam (1958) War.

Victoria Nangle

BBC1

6.00pm BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 Sport Relief 2018 See highlights.

10.00 BBC News At Ten The latest national and international news, with reports from BBC correspondents.

10.25 South East Today The latest news, sport, weather and features from the South East of England.

10.35 Sport Relief 2018 Davina McCall joins Andrew 'Freddie' Flintoff as Sport Relief 2018 reaches its conclusion.

There are two more big Celebrity Boxing bouts and the climax of the non-stop football marathon, with Robbie Savage's All Stars completing 12 hours of play against teams from the FA People's Cup. There is also the climax to A Question of Sport Relief and live music from Rae Morris. Plus a special edition of Pop Star Penalties from A League of Their Own, and more from John Bishop and the England team.

1.00am Zoe Ball's Hardest Road Home

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

6.00pm Eggheads Jeremy Vine hosts the quiz show.

6.30 The Repair Shop 7.00 Saving Lives At Sea Documentary series following the men and women of the Royal National Lifeboat Institution (RNLI).

8.00 David Attenborough's Natural Curiosities David Attenborough looks at some of nature's most curious animals.

8.30 Gardeners' World At Longmeadow, Monty Don is making plans for the summer.

9.00 Pilgrimage: The Road To Santiago 10.00 A Question Of Sport Relief Sue Barker hosts a very special Sport Relief edition of the popular quiz programme.

10.30 Newsnight Indepth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day's headlines with Mark Urban.

11.10 The Assassination Of Gianni Versace American Crime Story Drama.

12.10am FILM: The Ones Below (2015)

6.00pm ITV News Meridian 6.30 ITV Evening News 7.00 Emmerdale Liv battles with temptation, Liv endures a day in court.

7.30 International Football: Holland v England Live England continue their World Cup preparations against a Holland team recovering from their failure to qualify for this summer's finals in Russia. This is the first of four pretournament internationals that Gareth Southgate has to fine-tune his World Cup plans as England go in search of their first win against Holland since Euro 96. Mark Pougatch is joined by Ian Wright, Lee Dixon and former Dutch international Patrick Kluivert for coverage of the match.

10.00 ITV News at Ten 10.30 ITV News Meridian 10.45 International Football Highlights: Holland v England Mark Pougatch presents highlights of England's friendly against Holland.

11.50 Play To The Whistle 12.40am Jackpot247

6.00pm The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Leah puts her plan into action but will it work?

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.30 Winter Paralympics Today 8.00 Britain’s Favourite Food In the last 50 years our diet has transformed. We've gone from home-cooked meat and boiled veg to convenience foods, ready meals, snacks and drinks of every type and every cuisine. In this two-part series, Simon Rimmer looks back at our favourite foods – from Angel Delight to Smash.

9.00 Gogglebox The biggest and best TV moments of the week get their weekly grilling from Britain's sharpest armchair critics.

10.00 The Last Leg The live, joyous, topical comedy extravaganza hosted by Adam Hills, Alex Brooker and Josh Widdicombe.

11.05 Rude Tube Alex Zane presents another top 50 countdown of hilarious and jawdropping internet clips.

12.10am FILM: The Net (1995) Thriller.

Monday 26 BBC2

5.00pm FILM: Real Steel (2011) Sci-fi. Starring Hugh Jackman, Dakota Goyo, Evangeline Lilly.

7.00 Down The Mighty River With Steve Backshall Adventurer and naturalist Steve Backshall sets out to explore one of the wildest rivers in the world, the mighty Baliem River in the island of New Guinea.

8.00 Top Gear Matt LeBlanc and Chris Harris attempt to speed up British roads – and farming.

9.00 Reggie Yates: Searching For Grenfell's Lost Lives Documentary.

10.00 Mock The Week Dara O Briain and Hugh Dennis look back over the week's events with the help of guests James Acaster, Angela Barnes, Kerry Godliman, Nish Kumar and Glenn Moore.

10.30 Top Gear: Extra Gear Rory's supercar dreams become reality in the form of a Lamborghini Countach.

10.55 FILM: Life Of Crime (2013) Comedy drama.

Starring Jennifer Aniston, Yasiin Bey, Isla Fisher, Will Forte.

12.30am Question Time

ITV1

6.00pm Paul O'Grady: For the Love of Dogs Dog lover Paul O'Grady continues the second series of the awardwinning show.

6.30 ITV Evening News 6.45 ITV News Meridian 7.00 Celebrity Catchphrase Host Stephen Mulhern and Mr Chips are on board for this very special celebrity edition of Catchphrase in which Tess Daly, Jonathan Ross and Linda Robson attempt to 'Say What They See'.

8.00 The Durrells See highlights.

9.00 The Good Karma Hospital Lydia discovers that a former patient is in the care of a herbal doctor and is determined to win back her patient's trust.

10.00 ITV News 10.20 Peston on Sunday Political magazine show featuring a mix of big political interviews, topical guests, authors, and a bit of satire.

11.20 FILM: Captain Corelli's Mandolin (2001) Penelope Cruz, Nicolas Cage, John Hurt.

Wartime romantic drama.

1.25am Jackpot247

Channel 4

5.15pm The Great Celebrity Bake Off For Stand Up To Cancer 6.30 Channel 4 News 7.00 Homes By The Med Architectural designer Charlie Luxton explores Croatia and its stunning Dalmatian coast and islands.

8.00 Escape To The Chateau Dick and Angel Strawbridge continue with their French adventure. It's Dick's birthday and Angel has organised a romantic balloon trip over the chateau with breathtaking views at sunrise.

9.00 Homeland The seventh series of the hit US thriller continues.

Saul calls an old friend, and Wellington has a problem. Meanwhile, Carrie enjoys a win.

10.15 8 Out Of 10 Cats Does Countdown Jimmy Carr hosts proceedings as the 8 Out of 10 Cats crew take over the words-and-numbers quiz.

11.10 FILM: Rush (2013) Chris Hemsworth and Daniel Brühl star in Ron Howard's fact-based drama about the intense rivalry between 1970s racing drivers James Hunt and Niki Lauda.

1.25am The Last Leg

6.00pm Latest News 6.30 The Vote Guests from the world of politics discuss local and national issues.

7.00 TerraPura NonLeague Show All the latest non-league football news and action from the region.

8.00 Latest News The latest news where we are, the latest sports news, plus national and international updates.

8.30 Brighton Lights Jamie Walker presents a roundup of the week's must-see events in Brighton, Hove and beyond.

9.00 Tales From The Margins Extra This Little Father Obsession (2016) Directed by Selim Mourad. A man confronts his own sexuality while taking his father on a quest inside their family tree.

10.00 FILM: Hands Of The Ripper (1971) Horror.

Stars Eric Porter, Jane Merrow, Angharad Rees & Dora Bryan. Jack the Ripper's daughter seems possessed by her father's spirit 15 years after her mother's murder.

11.40 FILM: The HitchHiker (1953) Thriller.

BBC1

6.00pm BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 MasterChef Restaurateur John Torode and fruit and veg man Gregg Wallace look for Britain's next masterchef.

7.57 BBC News And Regional News 8.00 EastEnders The pressure builds for the Slaters as everyone wants answers. Keegan meets up with Mitch in secret.

8.30 Classic Mary Berry Cookery programme.

Mary Berry returns to one of her most loved locations – Port Isaac on the Cornwall coast.

9.00 The Queen: Her Commonwealth Story See highlights.

10.00 BBC News At Ten The latest national and international news, with reports from BBC correspondents worldwide.

10.30 South East Today The latest news, sport, weather and features from the South East of England.

10.45 Imagine... Arts series.

11.40 TBA 12.30am Weather For The Week Ahead

6.00pm Eggheads Quiz show.

6.30 The Repair Shop 7.00 Top Gear Matt LeBlanc and Chris Harris attempt to speed up British roads - and farming.

8.00 Only Connect Quiz show presented by Victoria Coren Mitchell.

8.30 University Challenge Quiz series.

9.00 Hospital Filmed in January and February 2018, during the worst winter for the NHS on record, Hospital is the story of the health service in unprecedented times.

10.00 QI Sandi Toksvig looks at over and ova.

Learn some tricks you can do with eggs, meet a flying pig and join in as the studio audience sings along with western film themes.

With Bill Bailey, Jan Ravens, Grayson Perry and Alan Davies.

10.30 Newsnight 11.15 Pilgrimage: The Road To Santiago Seven people living in the public eye say goodbye to their hectic lives, don backpacks and walking boots, and set out on the famous Camino de Santiago pilgrimage.

12.15am Countryfile

6.00pm ITV News Meridian 6.30 ITV Evening News 7.00 Emmerdale An offer rouses Debbie's suspicions.

7.30 Coronation Street Audrey puts Rosemary to the test, David's plan to uproot his family causes tension.

8.00 The Kyle Files Jeremy Kyle investigates the war on drugs.

8.30 Coronation Street Simon's behaviour shocks Peter and Leanne.

9.00 Marcella The arrest of Vince Whitman causes massive fallout between Tim and Marcella. Meanwhile, Postfeed24's internet viral video leads the team to discover another body much closer to home.

10.00 ITV News at Ten 10.35 ITV News Meridian 10.50 100 Years Younger in 21 Days The pressure is on as the well-worn famous subjects do everything that they can to shave some muchneeded years off.

11.50 100 Year Old Driving School 12.15am Martin Luther King by Trevor McDonald

6.00pm The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Leah prepares to make an announcement at Amy's memorial.

7.00 Channel 4 News 8.00 Who Speaks For British Muslims?: Dispatches Across Britain, the police, local authorities and other public bodies are reaching out to Muslim groups in the fight against terrorism and extremism. John Ware investigates.

8.30 Thrifty Ways To...

Summer Holiday See highlights.

9.00 24 Hours In Police Custody The Bafta Award-nominated series that follows Bedfordshire Police's detective work around the clock returns for a new run.

10.00 The Great Spy Murder Mystery An attempted murder of a former Russian double agent, Sergei Skripal.

Delving in to Skripal's astonishing past, Matt Frei searches for clues to potential motives that could explain why he was targeted.

11.05 How To Get A Council House 12.05am The Job Interview