Latest 7: No. 872

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BRIGHTON FREE | 27 March – 2 April 2018 | Issue 872

/latestbrighton on

Channel 7 Channel 159

online at thelatest.co.uk

THE NEW PALACE ON THE PIER

I LOVE PARRIS The Mash Report’s Rachel Paris comes to Latest Musicbar BRIGHTON FRINGE PORTRAITS From acclaimed photographer James Bellorini

Contemporary styling meets traditional fare at Palm Court on Brighton Palace Pier Restaurant Page 4

Victoria Nangle interviews

Bill Bailey page 7

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Junior & Senior Full Stack Web Developers – The Changing Workplace (Haywards Heath) SharePoint, Office 365 + Azure Developer – JDFI Consulting Ltd (Brighton & Hove) Junior Quality Assurance Engineer – Hack & Crack Ltd (Brighton & Hove) Designer – Tomango (Lewes) Head of Visual Design – Brightwave Group (Brighton & Hove) Junior Developer – Cyclr (Eastbourne) Senior UX Designer – Unit (Brighton & Hove) Account Executive – Insight Mobile (Brighton & Hove) Business Development Manager – Zoonou Ltd (Eastbourne)

Looking for someone – to re-create a basic Tetris-style game. Budget: £1,500 Agile delivery manager – to undertake a digital transformation project for a gov client. Budget: Negotiable Learning Technologist – to explore best practices for the use of virtual reality within the classroom. Budget: £150 a day

Girl Game Maker Day – 24h March at Unity Technologies, Brighton Funding New Products and Services: Accessing R + D tax credits – 27th March at The FuseBox, Brighton Wired Sussex Members' Spring Meetup – 17th April at Patterns, Brighton

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from the

Louis Michael

@latestvicky

EDITOR

@Louisxmichael

LOUDMOUTH

Pick ‘n’ choose

Waste measurements

E

R

verything is witnessed. Much has already been written about oversharing on social media, from the shape of pancakes on Instagram to reactions to X Factor on Twitter. Sometimes it’s helpful, useful even, as I’ve witnessed several times as calls for help on Facebook have been answered in both very emotional and practical ways.

I do love a good anecdote too. Especially one with an excellent ‘reveal’, that has uncles and aunts shifting abruptly from being contentedly happy after three courses to startled surprise when brought up in a Best Man’s speech.

Lately though, I’ve savoured the idea of keeping some aspects of my life away from being ‘witnessed’. It’s not about the big things, about keeping secrets. It’s about finding a corner of quiet and selecting what events I might need to talk about, rather than keeping a constant newsfeed going straight out of my mouth. A return to how we used to engage in conversations. Stepping away from the anxiety of there being a silent moment between friends, filling the gap with something that doesn’t need saying – I’ve done that enough times when out on the lash. Who hasn’t shouted “It’s a lamppost!!!” with all the urgency of a new continent freshly discovered? No, it’s about choosing to share as much as choosing not to.

In the same way that I love a night in so that when I choose to go out I’m not just along for the ride but really up for a great night – I could apply that kind of choice to other parts of my life too. I’m all for talking rubbish, making up new characters that live in the moon, and generally running off at the mouth.

But perhaps if my nose itches I can keep that to myself. ‘Inside voices’ are valuable too. And a run at being quiet is one sure­fire route to finding that self­ editing spirit.

Victoria Nangle

ecently I’ve been thinking about going zero waste. For those of you who don’t know what that means (or can’t guess) it’s when someone makes a conscious effort to produce absolutely zero waste in every aspect of their daily lives. No litter is the obvious one, but it extends to no food wastage, no unnecessary water use, no excessive electricity. Sound daunting? It is. As soon as you make the decision to attempt the feat you realise just how wasteful we actually are. And I don’t mean to sound sanctimonious, I was genuinely as surprised as anyone else!

Yesterday I was out in town and it was well past lunchtime and I was starving. So I popped into Tesco like I would normally and reflexively went straight to the sandwich section where I knew that my reliable good old meal deal was waiting for me. But as I reached my hand out to snatch up my falafel and humus wrap I remembered my new commitment. The wrap was in a cardboard and plastic box, and when I was done with the wrap I would throw that box into a bin that would then be added to the hundreds of thousands of tons of rubbish that England produces every single day. And I know it may seem like my little lunch wouldn’t do much harm, but every single item of rubbish that our country produces adds itself to the collective whole. Individually, no, one piece of rubbish isn’t a big deal, but collectively, we’re producing a catastrophic 31 million tonnes of waste annually. I think you’ll agree that’s not particularly sustainable.

The person who inspired me to start thinking about the waste I produce was my sister, and it was actually food wastage that she introduced me to.

For a while she volunteered at a charity that reallocated supermarket food that was past its sell by date to shelters and food banks. Now, I’m grateful that I can say I don’t waste as much food as a supermarket, but I'm definitely forced to throw away the odd fruit and veg that I accidentally let go out of date. I think at some point today I'm going to have to raid the fridge for anything mouldy.

editorial@thelatest.co.uk

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THE NEW PALACE ON THE PIER Palm Court on Brighton Palace Pier has been redesigned in a modern elegant way for generations of new residents and visitors to enjoy

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righton Palace Pier is iconic, it’s the pier that comes to mind whenever the word ‘pier’ is uttered, it’s the sign that you are home when flying home over the south coast, and it’s the go­to attraction for both visitors and residents here in Brighton and Hove. Others might be older or taller, but are they as much fun?

Since it opened back in 1899, the pier has been a Mecca for everything that is good about seaside entertainment. Back in the day, Stan Laurel and Charlie Chaplin played the end of the pier theatre. It has appeared on screen in more films and TV ads than perhaps any other structure in the UK, well maybe that other palace in London tops it. But there’s little doubt that Brighton’s Palace Pier is a national and even international treasure.

“ Brighton’s Palace Pier is a national and even international treasure ”

It’s as relevant today as it was 119 years ago. The pier is home to the very best of seaside fun, great rides and amusements, quality food and drinks and without doubt the very best views of the city’s famous seafront. The newly refurbished Palm Court restaurant now takes advantage of those views, with windows looking out across the sea to the city. It has been returned to its former glory, a bright and light place to meet friends for a meal or – should you be in the market for a wedding – that very special occasion.

Parties are just so special when you are in such a wonderful location.

Horatio’s Bar has undertaken a radical transformation too. An interior that would not be out of place in trendy Shoreditch, a beautiful terrace overlooking the Madeira Terraces, great food at sensible prices and a well stocked bar that is equally well priced now feature. Again a brilliant place to party!

As we move into spring and summer look out for a new programme of entertainment, live music, comedy and Brighton’s very own Treason Show will be there sparking laughter as the nights get lighter.

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A PLACE IN HISTORY

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he story of Brighton's piers is at the heart of Brighton's history, and the Brighton Palace Pier takes care to preserve its heritage, with old photographs and history displayed on the pier as well as on its website, brightonpier.co.uk Brighton's first pier, The Chain Pier was destroyed by a huge storm in 1889 which led to the building of the Palace Pier. On 20 May 1899 the Brighton Marine Palace & Pier opened with a grand ceremony. The pier cost £27,000 to build (£2 million in today's money) and 3,000 lightbulbs illuminated the pier (67,000 today). Early machines on the pier included ‘The Lady Palmist’ and ‘Punch Ball’ machine. In 1907, the Brighton Pier Concert Hall opened, on the site where the current Palm Court sits.

Captain Weeks was the longest serving pier master, presiding over the pier from 1928 to 1955. In 1940 the war office forced the pier to close to prevent the pier from being used for sea­borne invasion.

With Grade II listing, new style arcade machines and new rides, the pier has evolved over the decades to respond to the tourism needs of the city. New management in 1984 made the pier free to visit, with free deckchairs and new food outlets including fish and chips.

Heston Blumenthal declared that Brighton Pier is the “spiritual home of fish and chips”, and fish and chips have moved up in the world in their new home at Palm Court.

Brighton Pier now employs 400 people from around the world and secures Brighton's place as a top tourist city in the UK and across the world.

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CATCH OF THE DAY Latest 7’s food editor Andrew Kay enjoys a taste of tradition in a palace of fun

I

’m unapologetically northern and proud of it. Despite having written about food and drink now for over 25 years I am also not ashamed to reveal that in the top five of my list of food favourites comes fish and chips. Yes, I know regular readers think that I live on a diet of caviar and foie gras but nothing could be further from the truth. Fish and chips is a treat but one that does not come at a high price. It still remains one of the most affordable dining options, available to all, and don’t ever dare to tell me this is fast food.

No indeed, good fish and chips take time and love and patience.

Brighton Palace Pier is the perfect place to enjoy a great plate of fish and chips, and now that the Brighton Marine Palace Pier company has invested a huge amount of money in re­inventing its Palm Court restaurant at the centre of the historic structure it is better than ever!

In a normal review, if I waffle on about the interior, it can be a sign that I found little to report on the food. Well this time nothing could be further from the truth. The new format, the interior setting, the décor and detail, from seating to lighting, cutlery to ambience – they have pulled out all the stops.

It looks good, as good as any fashionable London eatery, smart and modern in one sense but at the same time nodding to and respecting the history of this great building.

As for the food, well here we go. I was joined by fish and chip aficionado Mrs M, long battered and fried. We started with a plate of whitebait and a plate of calamari, one traditional and one modern in terms of seaside fare. Both generous, both piping hot and

fried fish has to be haddock and I could not have been happier. The fish was perfectly cooked, the batter – crisp and golden – had created that all essential seal around the fish that means it is steamed rather than fried, evidence that the oil was at the right temperature. My chips, clearly freshly cut and not some ersatz frozen product, were golden too and piping hot.

I had mushy peas, proper mushy peas and not the softy­

“ This is a great place to sit and eat

and take in the beautiful views of our fabulous city by the sea ”

both tasty. I love squid and this was crisp and tender, the whitebait crunchy outside and soft within. When I return I could be easily tempted to order both again just for me and move straight on to dessert.

Ms M is a lover of plaice and was delighted by hers, although I was somewhat shocked by her choice of coleslaw, creamy mash and salad as side orders – she was clearly bucking tradition, but it all put a big smile on her face.

I went with both tradition and a guilty secret. Being from Lancashire my first choice of

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southerner version of squished frozen peas, and hooray for that. Oh yes, my guilty secret, curry sauce! Yes I know, it does not taste like the curries that we have come to love and I am sure my Indian chef friends would baulk at the thought, but I love this weird retro delicacy, dipping chips into the pale and slightly spicy gravy, and yes, this was the retro dish, not re­invented for modern tastes but just like the memory from my childhood.

So, the secret out, we moved on to puddings. Yes, we simply went the whole three

courses for your reading. Ms M chose a peach melba torte, a delight that she wolfed down with a big grin. I felt obliged to go the route of a sundae and in doing so opted for the Brighton Palace Pier special. My eyes may have been bigger than my belly, as my grandmother would have said, but I too scoffed the lot – from the candy floss cap through the jam doughnuts, cream and Brighton rock ice­ cream down to the jammy bottom of my sundae glass. I loved it. It was a trip down memory lane, a sweet and sticky treat that had me waddling home with a huge smile on my face. Only one thing could have made me smile more and that would have been a traditional long stemmed sundae spoon, but I was thrilled to see that my main course came appropriately with a proper fish knife. I may well be an old fashioned kind of guy, but when it’s done well I really want to celebrate it, and this is a great place to sit and eat and take in the beautiful views of our fabulous city by the sea.

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THE

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HOT LIST

Chaula’s, Lewes

The Restaurant at Drakes, Brighton

Chaula’s is renowned for its signature dishes, distinctive décor and friendly staff. All meals are made fresh to order and every curry has its own distinctively flavoured sauce. There is also a wide variety of vegetarian and vegan, as well as gluten and wheat­free dishes.

Buffet available 12pm–3pm, Monday to Saturday.

Lewes, BN7 2LP, 01273 476707 www.chaulas.co.uk

An Evening in Bordeaux at Drakes Thursday, April 12th at 7.30pm Combining classic Bordeaux dishes, using the best Sussex produce and perfectly paired with boutique Bordeaux wines.

French wine specialists, Department 33 will present the wines 4­course dinner with wine pairing £69 per person Call us on 01273 696934 to buy your tickets The Restaurant at Drakes Hotel, 43­44 Marine Parade, Brighton, BN2 1PE 01273 696934, www.drakesofbrighton.com

Chaula’s, Brighton

Boho Gelato, Brighton

A second venue for this brilliant Indian restaurant is now open here in Brighton. Chaula and her team breathe fresh air into the idea of Indian food with authentic recipes served in stylish surroundings.

The cooking has an altogether healthier approach – but not at the cost of flavour. Thali Deals available 12pm­3pm; Meal Deal £9.99.

Brighton, BN1 1HT, 01273 771661, www.chaulas.co.uk

24 ever­changing Italian Ice Cream flavours ranging from Vanilla to Violet, Mango to Mojito and Apple to Avocado taken from an ever growing list of now over 400! Handmade on site daily at 6 Pool Valley Brighton – Off East Street near the Palace Pier and also available at their new shop in Ship Street. www.bohogelato.co.uk | 6 Pool Valley, Brighton New Shop – 31 Ship Street, Brighton | 01273 727205

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BILL BAILEY The marvellous musical comedian and actor Bill Bailey speaks exclusively with Victoria Nangle about his current live show Larks In Transit, his involvement with Idris Elba’s new television project In The Long Run, and a love of gongs.

You’re very playful with musical instruments in Larks In Transit. Are there any instruments that you'd like to persue, because you seem to adventure from one to another?

Yes, certainly, that's right.

There's a couple of things that I'm trying to master in terms of to work into the tour as it goes on. One of them is the accordion, an instrument I've wanted to play for a long time.

And it seems to make perfect logical sense to me, as a keyboard which is something I can find my way around now, but also there's – for me anyway as a solo performer – there's quite a pleasing visual aspect to it as well. You know, walking around with it, accordion round me neck, reminiscent of street performers… It's something I wanted to try and master.

It is a lot harder than it looks to be honest. It's a lot trickier.

It requires a lot more concentration, hand to eye co­ordination – it's eluded me up to now, but I'm really enjoying making an effort to get a hold of it.

And the other thing is a new technique – well, it's not a new technique, it's been around for a while, but a new technique to me – which is to play the electric guitar with a violin bow.

The Larks tour you're taking out – is it similar to Christmas Larks, or the show you were doing before Christmas at all?

It'll be Christmas Larks, with some more elements, and with almost certainly the more Christmassy elements, weeded out.

I have to say, I so much enjoyed playing 'God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen' I'm tempted to just keep going with that.

See how far into the tour I can go, and people are going: "What?! We're still singing

carols in May?!" I think carols throughout the year – they only come out at Christmas – but they're great songs, great singsongs, so I don't know.

We'll see.

In The Long Run is hitting our screens soon. I was wondering what you thought of Idris Elba's comic timing…

I think he's a very good actor anyway, but he's got a very sort of, yeah… great sensitivity towards it. I was really

What do you think the role of comedian is in modern politics at the moment?

Well, you know I think you can't ignore it because it's so front and centre – it's on the news, in social media, people are much more involved.

Particularly now in Britain after Brexit. It dominates the whole debate – there's barely a day when it isn't in the news for some reason. And so it's very hard to avoid that.

It's part of the job of comedy to mirror what is

“ He (Idris Elba) was also very up for a bit of comic improvisation ” impressed. He was also very up for a bit of comic improvisation as well. He would take the script and then say "well, why don't you try this"? He was always up for changing it, improving it, improvising scenes. It was really good fun.

around us and to try and almost filter it in a way. To make it accessible, try and pick apart the absurdity of it, and show it back to an audience.

Something familiar but, you know, you've put it through a comic filter just to make sense of it, or make fun of it, poke

fun at hypocrisy or absurdity.

That, I think, has always been the role of comedy. I think that's probably one of its main roles.

Finally, do you still have that segway and gong from your Tinselworm tour, years ago (Bill sped across the Brighton Centre’s stage on a segway to hit the gong at the other side)?

Well sadly the segways ­ and this is something that I've come to regret ­ were rented.

But in all the palaver and the kerfuffle and renting of it I could've just bought one and just kept it. I sort of do regret that.

But the gong ­ which you rightly remember. Well, the gong again was rented. I mean these things, there are very few of them about. In fact, that wasn't the largest gong available. The largest one was a much bigger one, that was on tour with Roger Taylor (of Queen). So again, it's something I'd love to have.

I have actually got a gong ­ it's not quite as impressive at that, it's more sort of an aesthetic an item. It's not really a practical gong. I think if I was to use a gong…

In fact I am actually writing a song which includes a gong right now, which is sort of kind of a real bit of a piss­take of Ed Sheeran's 'Galway Girl'.

Because, you know, (sings) 'Oh, me pretty little Galway Girl' (sings) ‘ooh de doodle doodle doo doo doo’ – kind of like that. So I've got a song where he falls in love with a girl who works in a percussion ensemble so (sings) 'my lovely little percussion ensemble girl', and then he whacks a gong and you can't really hear anything I sing for about five minutes.

Bill Bailey: Larks In Transit, Brighton Centre, Friday 20 April, 7pm, from £30.65 Photo credit: Andy Hollngworth

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PUBLIC NOTICE THE LICENSING ACT 2003 (PREMISES LICENCES AND CLUB PREMISES CERTIFICATES) REGULATIONS 2005 Regulation 25 Advertisement TO: WHOM IT MAY CONCERN I Colin Beaddie do hereby give notice that it is my intention to apply to Brighton & Hove City Council in the county of East Sussex for the variation of a premises licence to use or permit the use of premises known as Baked 69 Church Road Hove, BN3 3GN for the following proposed variation which it is proposed will be carried on, on or from the premises: the addition of off sales for the same licensable hours as existing hours.

Any person who desires to make a representation to the grant should send to Head of Regulatory Services, Environmental Health and

PUBLIC

NOTICES Are you looking to place affordable Public Notices in a recognised publication?

Contact us today to find out how.

01273 818150

Licensing, Bartholomew House, Bartholomew House, Brighton, BN1 1JP no later than 18/04/2018 a brief written statement of the grounds of his/her objection. The register and records of applications may be viewed at the above council office during normal office hours; summaries are available via www.brighton-hove.gov.uk/licensing.

It is an offence knowingly or recklessly to make a false statement in connection with an application and the maximum fine for which a person is liable on summary conviction for the offence is currently £5000 [level 5].

Dated this: 21 March 2018

COME CELEBRATE YOUR WEDDING HERE WITH US

THIS LOT HAVE ALL PERFORMED

AT THE LATEST: Royal Blood ★ Ben Howard Rizzle Kicks ★ Amy Winehouse James Bay ★ Newton Faulkner Turin Brakes ★ Kooks Gabrielle Aplin ★ Toploader

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STAGE

Sameena Zehra

Acclaimed photographer James Bellorini’s striking exhibition of Brighton Fringe portraits opens at Brighton Railway Station

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f you ever wondered about what makes Brighton Fringe, or indeed ‘who’ makes Brighton Fringe, then look no further than Brighton Station.

James Bellorini’s new exhibition opens this April in advance of the merry month of May Fringe madness and creativity, and gives a clear insight into the people in and behind the scenes of what has become one of the most important fringe festivals in the world.

With the aim of responding in an entertaining way to the unique character and energy of each of the performers, the exhibition shines a light on some of the artistic, creative and cultural talents that make Brighton Fringe the success it

James Bellorini

Sammy Silver

Sameena Zehra

is today. Working in collaboration with the subjects over the past few months, Bellorini captured 35 individuals in the run­up to Fringe 2018, ranging from seasoned performers, producers and creatives, to those who are embarking on their very first Fringe.

Fringe this year, as well as a unique visual interpretation of the people, ideas, and locations behind England’s largest arts festival and the city of Brighton itself.

Since its beginning in 1967, Brighton Fringe has seen a vast amount of talent come through its doors, capturing

“ The portraits beautifully embody

the diversity of Brighton Fringe, capturing their subjects’ creativity and imagination ” Bellorini is a local Brighton talent, working nationally and globally on assignments. He has collaborated with many well­known prestige lifestyle and cultural brands, as well as entrepreneurs, businesses, performers, DJs and musicians.

The exhibition provides an overview of what you can expect to see at Brighton

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the imaginations of all of those who have attended.

Growing to become the largest annual arts festival in England and one of the largest fringe festivals in the world, 4,000 performances at 155 venues are scheduled across the four weeks it runs for in 2018.

Julian Caddy, managing director of Brighton Fringe,

commented; “James is an incredibly talented photographer and such an important asset to help capture the colour and excitement of Brighton Fringe, so we’re extremely proud to be working with him on this exhibition.

“Brighton Fringe is constantly growing and developing thanks to everyone involved, so it is really wonderful to show appreciation and recognition to both longstanding and new performers as is done through James’ exhibition.

“The portraits beautifully embody the diversity of Brighton Fringe, capturing their subjects’ creativity and imagination.”

The exhibition will be on show at Brighton train station, where the portraits will be setting the scene and embodying the spirit of Brighton Fringe, available to view from Thursday 5 April, free of charge. www.brightonfringe.org

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REVIEWS Shows to entertain, amuse and make you think, from across then South East

Gallowglass allowglass is a Celtic word for chief’s servant. It describes the central relationship of this Ruth Rendell thriller which is set up when Sandor saves suicidal Joe, he then becomes the de facto slave to Sandor’s master. They plot to kidnap young, beautiful and rich Nina who is married to much older Ralph (her third husband) and lives in a remote mansion. As you can see this is almost written by numbers as all sorts of characters are assembled with sketchy pasts, mainly to keep us off track, which it does for most of the considerable running time. It would have benefited from some trimming but the production stuck slavishly to the book.

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Kiri Pritchard­McLean: Appropriate Adult iri Pritchard­McLean has a delightfully dark sparkle in her eye, one that bagged her the Chortle Awards Best Compere and Best Club Comic earlier this week, and that endows her with the confidence of every one of her audience members knowing that if she goes off on a tangental whim it’ll be worth the wander.

As a quarter of dark and twisted humour sketch group Gein’s Family Gift Shop, Pritchard­McLean is not averse to mining the comedy seam less travelled, not flinching at material others fear to tread on. But woven through is a real concern to do good – to be good in the world – from feminist ideals to committing to volunteer youth work on a very real basis, which is where the main story for this show comes from.

She’s skilful, she’s entertaining, she’s very funny in that way that makes you laugh at something you never thought you’d find funny, and she’s a bit inspiring, sending us all out into the chill night with an agitation scratching at our social conscience.

A class act.

K

Eastbourne Theatres, 20 March 2018 Martin Baron

★★★

The Old Market, 21 March 2018 Victoria Nangle

★★★★★

Kiss of the Spider Woman iss of the Spiderwoman tells the story of two inmates in an Argentian prison; gay Molina and straight Valentin, and the intimate relationship that they embark upon.

The action takes place in a grey prison cell, with the only colour coming from projections, which illustrate the tales that Molina tells to raise their spirits. This gives the production a claustrophobic quality, which draws the audience in.

The two central performances are beautifully acted and believable. The sometime graphic content is handled sensitively, which gives the relationship further credence. Even though we know the relationship would be doomed in the real world, the fantasy ending can’t help but warm the heart.

K

“ Pritchard­McLean is not averse to mining the comedy seam less travelled ”

Menier Chocolate Factory, Until 5 May 2018 Cliff Harris

★★★★

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B R I G H TO N L I G H T S W H AT TO D O I N T H E C I T Y

MUSIC, ENTERTAINMENT & COMEDY WITH VICTORIA NANGLE

1

With the release of their .eighth studio album, Invisible Storm, in January, Turin Brakes showcase why it is the rockers have sold over a million records worldwide.

Concorde2, Good Friday 30 March, 7pm, £20

2

Celebrate Easter by .moshing the weekend in with the rap/pop duo that were stuck in everyone’s heads at the turn of the century – Daphne & Celeste. From ‘Ooh – Stick You’ to ‘U.G.L.Y’ and on to their own inimitable cover of Alice Cooper’s ‘School Out’. Plus, a brand new album of tracks for fresh dirty sugar­highs.

Hope & Ruin, Good Friday 30 March, 7.30pm, £11

5

After monopolising social media streams .each morning after The Mash Report went out on BBC2, Rachel Parris’s own brand of bullet­fast razor­sharp satire with a smile has gone stratospheric. So, wisely, now that the show has gone on hiatus Parris is off on tour with her solo show Keynote. Under the premise that she is a guest speaker at her old school she explores what kind of message she’d like to pass on to impressionable minds via the mediums of stand­up, character and musical comedy.

Latest Musicbar, Thursday 29 March, 8pm, £10

6

Shazia Mirza is back from Channel 4’s .Celebrity Love Island with a new stand­up show – With Love From St Tropez – promising to be about lies, nudity and the periodic table.

Off the back of her acclaimed last show, The Kardashians Made Me Do It, exploring politically correct liberalism, the intrusion of ISIS into British lives and Jihadi brides, expect a mix of politically charged and pop culture humour from this respected comic.

Komedia, Tuesday 27 March, 8pm, £14/12

@latestvicky

3

Poised between the .solemnity of Good Friday and the joy of Easter Sunday, this special concert by the massed ranks of two great choirs and one of the country’s finest orchestras ensures a spectacular evening of musical talent and artistry this Easter weekend. Brighton Festival Chorus and the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra perform Crucifixus.

Brighton Dome, Saturday 31 March, 7.30pm, £25/20/15/12.50

4

In the run up to a possible .weekend of feasting and decadence, join Simon Topping for his talk on Fat People In History, re­assuring yourself that you’re actually quite moderate. With tall tales, shocking facts, and exploding corpses, journeying from medieval Europe to more recent fads to surprise us all. Part of Hove Grown Festival.

Sweet@The Welly (Duke Of Wellington), Wednesday 28 & Thursday 29 March, 8pm, £7

To discover 20 more things to do this week, watch Brighton Lights show on Latest TV every Monday at 8.30pm.

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MOVIES ON LATEST TV All day & late night

Tuesday 27 March

Friday 30 March

6.00am The Princess & The Pirate 1944. Adventure. Stars Bob Hope, Virginia Mayo, Walter Brennan & Victor McLaglen. When pirates attacks cowardly actor Sylvester's ship, he isn't quite the hero he said he was.

6.00am Here Come The Huggetts 1948. Comedy. Director Ken Annakin. Stars Jack Warner, Kathleen Harrison, Petula Clark. The Huggetts have a telephone installed, along with a niece who causes disruption when she turns up.

7.50 Ghost of Greville Lodge 2000. Mystery. Directed by Niall Johnson and starring Jon Newman, Prunella Scales, Marc Danbury and George Cole. A teenager stays at his uncle's mansion, where he discovers the house's many secrets.

9.40 Unpublished Story 1942. War. Director: Harold French. Stars Richard Greene, Valerie Hobson & Basil Radford. A war correspondent during WW2 returns to London and becomes suspicious of a peace organisation.

11.50 Defence Of The Realm 1985. Thriller. Directed by David Drury and stars Gabriel Bryne, Greta Scacchi, Denholm Elliott and Robbie Coltrane. After an expose article is published, an MP dies in mysterious circumstances.

1.50pm The Great Milk Bottle Mystery 1950s short film made by the British Milk association on the loss of 6.4 million milk bottles a week. It's time to do your bit before the coal runs out. Can you help Mrs Jones of 22 Acacia Grove?

3.00 Hot Enough For June FILM OF THE DAY 1964. Comedy. Directed by Ralph Thomas and starring Dirk Bogarde, Sylva Koscina, Robert Morley and Leo McKern. British Intelligence sends a Czech-speaking British writer to Prague on a mission.

5.00 Big Ben Calling 1935. Musical about a cafe proprietress, a radio salesman and a composer who set up a pirate radio station. Starring Leslie French, Hughie Green & Mary Lawson.

7.50 SOS Pacific 1959. Drama. Directed by Guy Green. Starring Richard Attenborough, Pier Angeli & John Gregson. A seaplane fire forces its passengers, including a prisoner, to make a disastrous water landing.

9.40 Floodtide 1949. Drama. Directed by Frederick Wilson. Starring Gordon Jackson, Rona Anderson, John Laurie and Elizabeth Sellars. David becomes a ship designer and falls in love with his boss's daughter.

11.30 The Intelligence Men FILM OF THE DAY 1965. Comedy. Director: Robert Asher. Stars Eric Morecambe, Ernie Wise, William Franklyn & April Olrich. A humble coffee shop manager is forced into the world of spies in swinging London.

3.00pm The Beachcomber 1954. Comedy-drama. Directed by Muriel Box and starring Glynis Johns, Robert Newton and Donald Sinden. Drunken womaniser, Ted, is sent to a tropical island by his family where he meets new friends.

4.40 Private Information 1952. Drama starring Jill Esmond, Jack Watling, Carol Marsh and Gerard Heinz. Charlotte suspects that the council is corrupt and building defective drains that could cause public health issues.

The Intelligence Men

Sunday 1 April

Wednesday 28 March 6.00am The Miracle Of The Bells 1948. Drama. Granting her final request, a Hollywood press agent brings the dead body of an actress back to her hometown for burial.

Starring Frank Sinatra & Fred MacMurray.

6.00am Riders of Rockies 1937. Director: Robert N Bradbury. Stars Tex Ritter, Louise Stanley, Horace Murphy & Snub Pollard. Formerly a 'lost' western. Tex joins an outlaw gang to clear the names of his framed & jailed pals.

8.35 Demobbed 1944. Comedy. Demobbed from the army, four troublesome soldiers are reunited with their old Sergeant. Starring Norman Evans, Nat Jackley and Dan Young, Directed by John E Blakely.

7.05 Monster From Green Hell FILM OF THE DAY 1957. Sci-fi. Directed by Kenneth G. Crane. A scientific expedition in Africa investigates wasps that have been exposed to radiation and mutated into giant, killing monsters.

10.25 The Black Tent 1956. Romance. Directed by Brian Desmond Hurst. Starring Donald Sinden, Anna-Maria Sandri and Donald Pleasence. After the war, a young man sets out in search of his missing older brother.

8.25 Interrupted Journey 1949. Thriller. Director: Daniel Birt. Stars Valerie Hobson, Richard Todd, Christine Norden & Tom Walls. John's wife appears to have been shot after finding her body in the wreckage of a train crash.

12.15pm The Million Pound Note FILM OF THE DAY 1954. Comedy. Director: Ronald Neame. Stars Gregory Peck, Wilfrid Hyde-White, Ronald Squire & Joyce Grenfell. Two wealthy brothers loan a penniless man 1 million pounds, in the form of one note.

Monster From Green Hell

12.00pm Convict 99 1938. Comedy. Directed by Marcel Varnel. Stars Will Hay, Moore Marriott, Graham Moffat & Googie Withers. A school master is mistaken for a prison governor and assigned the charge of a prison.

3.00 Man In The Moon 1960. Comedy. Directed by Basil Dearden and starring Kenneth More, Shirley Anne Field and Michael Hordern. Scientists are looking for the perfect man to send to the moon.

1.45 Street Corner 1953. Drama. Stars Peggy Cummins, Anne Crawford, Rosamund John & Terence Morgan. A pseudo-docu-drama with an emphasis on the daily work and routine of female police.

10.00 Soft Beds, Hard Battles 1973. Comedy. Director: Roy Boulting. Stars Peter Sellers, Curt Jurgens, Francoise Pascal, Rula Lenska & Jenny Hanley. In Nazi occupied France, Maj. Robinson works with a brothel to aid the resistance.

3.40 Nobody Runs Forever 1968. Action. Director: Ralph Thomas. Stars Christopher Plummer, Rod Taylor & Lilli Palmer. An Australian detective arrives in London to arrest a top diplomat for the murder of his first wife.

Thursday 29 March 6.00am Shipmates O' Mine 1936. Musical. Directed by Oswald Mitchell. Stars John Garrick, Jean Adrienne, Wallace Lupino. Throughout The Years story with songs and sentiments following the life of a sailor.

7.40 Scarlet Thread 1951. Crime drama directed by Lewis Gilbert and starring Kathleen Byron, Laurence Harvey and Sydney Tafler. Two high flying crooks take part in a robbery that goes very wrong.

9.10 Convict 99 1938. Comedy. Directed by Marcel Varnel. Stars Will Hay, Moore Marriott, Graham Moffat & Googie Withers. A school master is mistaken for a prison governor and assigned the charge of a prison.

10.55 Invasion 1966. Fantasy. Director: Alan Bridges. Stars Edward Judd, Yoko Tani & Valerie Gearon. An English army unit come up against strange beings from another planet who have landed on earth.

12.30pm They Can't Hang Me FILM OF THE DAY 1955. Drama. Director: Val Guest. Stars Terence Morgan, Yolande Donlan & Anthony Oliver. A senior civil servant is condemned to hang for murder but he claims to have top secret security information.

3.00 The Sandwich Man 1966. Comedy. Stars Michael Bentine, Harry H Corbett & Norman Wisdom. A man with a sandwich-board goes around London meeting people from all walks of life.

Demi­Paradise

10.00 When The Bough Breaks 1947. Drama. Directed by Lawrence Huntington. Stars Patricia Roc, Rosamund John & Bill Owen. A young mother hands over her baby to foster parents, but struggles to let go emotionally.

Monday 2 April Saturday 31 March 6.00am Juggernaut 1936. Mystery. Director: Henry Edwards. Stars Boris Karloff, Joan Wyndham & Mona Goya. An evil doctor and the greedy wife of a rich man plot to poison him so they can get their hands on his money.

7.15 Target Earth 1954. Sci-Fi. Directed by Sherman A. Rose. Starring Richard Denning.

A large city is ordered to be completely evacuated as an army of robots, believed to be from the planet Venus, attack it.

8.50 Gentle Trap 1960. A locksmith on his first burglary is on the run when a rival gang wants his haul. Stars Spencer Teakle & Martin Benson.

12.00pm Enchantment 1948. Drama. Director: Irving Reis. Stars David Niven, Farley Granger, Evelyn Keyes & Teresa Wright. An American ambulance driver stationed in London visits her reclusive grand-uncle.

5.00 Action Stations 1957. Drama. Directed by Cecil H. Williamson and starring Paul Carpenter and Mary Martin. A forger flees to Spain but his daughter is kidnapped by a gang.

FILM OF THE DAY 2.00 Demi-Paradise 1943. Drama. Directed by Anthony Asquith. Stars Laurence Olivier, Penelope Ward, Margaret Rutherford & Felix Aylmer. A Russian engineer recounts his time in England during WW2.

11.25 Cosh Boy 1953. Drama. Director: Lewis Gilbert. Stars James Kenney, Hermione Baddeley, Joan Collins & Hermione Gingold. In post WW2 London, Roy and his gang drift into more and more serious offenses.

4.15 Too Many Crooks 1959. Comedy. Directed by Mario Zampi and starring Terry-Thomas, George Cole and Sidney James. 'Fingers' runs an unsuccessful gang.

When they decide to rob a wealthy man, things don't go to plan.

6.00am Chance of a Lifetime 1950. Comedy. Director: Bernard Miles. Stars Basil Radford, Bernard Miles, Kenneth More, Patrick Troughton & Hattie Jacques. The staff of an engineering firm take over after going on strike.

8.00 Piccadilly Incident 1946. War. Director: Herbert Wilcox. Stars Anna Neagle, Michael Wilding, Coral Browne & Edward Rigby. A missing Wren returns from a desert isle and finds her husband has a new wife and son.

10.00 The Flemish Farm 1943. War drama. Directed by Jeffery Dell and starring Jane Baxter, Clifford Evans and Philip Friend. An injured pilot and his nurse are separated when Belgium surrenders to the Nazis.

FILM OF THE DAY 11.50 Esther Waters 1948. Drama. Director: Ian Dalrymple & Peter Proud. Stars Dirk Bogarde, Kathleen Ryan & Cyril Cusack & Ivor Barnard. Esther goes into service in Victorian England, only to be seduced by a footman.

3.00 Innocent Sinners 1958. Drama. Directed by Philip Leacock. Stars Flora Robson, June Archer, David Kossoff & Christopher Hey. A girl finds expression of her sensitive side by creating a garden.

11.10 The Naked Kiss 1964. Drama. Directed by Samuel Fuller. Stars Constance Towers, Anthony Eisley, Michael Dante & Virginia Grey. A prostitute, traumatised by a past experience, tries to find solace in Grantville Town.

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TV LISTINGS

on

Come Home BBC1, 9pm New three-part drama from the folks that brought us Happy Valley and Trust Me, sets the scene with Marie leaving her husband Greg of 19 years and her three children – apparently out of the blue. Episode one is from Greg’s perspective, juggling parenthood, family and the idea of moving on.

The Great Celebrity Bake Off For Stand Up To Cancer Channel 4, 8pm The fourth episode in this heart-tickling series that somehow manages to link Sport Relief week to cake (our kind of exercise!) has a new batch of celebrities – Lee Mack, Griff Rhys Jones, Melanie Sykes and Joe Lycett – hard at the bakeface. Plus, raising monies for Cancer Research UK.

Tuesday 27 6.00pm Latest News 6.30 The Vote Guests from the world of politics discuss local and national issues.

7.00 Football Weekly Darren 'The Hartman' Hart looks back at the week's football with the help of his studio guests.

7.30 Football Fanatics More nostalgic football stories looking at the absolute legends of the game.

8.00 Latest News 8.30 Live From the Roadee Live music from the Roadee - a mobile recording studio.

9.00 AK Soufflé Andrew Kay introduces special guests in this LGBT-focused chat show.

9.30 Queer Say Andrew Kay's look at LGBT news and media from around the world with the help of their studio guest.

10.00 The Vote Guests from the world of politics discuss local and national issues.

10.30 Football Weekly Darren 'The Hartman' Hart looks back at the week's football with the help of his studio guests.

11.00 Football Fanatics More nostalgic football stories.

11.30 The Arun Valley Postcard Trail 11.45 Guy Lloyd's 2-Minute Telly Show 11.50 Guy Lloyd's 2-Minute Telly Show 11.55 FILM: Invasion (1966)

BBC1

6.00pm BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show If it's got Britain talking then it will get talked about on The One Show. Presented by Matt Baker and Alex Jones.

7.30 EastEnders Mitch has charmed his way back into Karen's life. Jack is the envy of the square with a brand new sports car.

7.57 BBC News And Regional News 8.00 Holby City No Matter Where You Go, There You Are - Part Two. Ollie refuses to relinquish his determination to become a surgeon once again. But when a memory resurfaces, he finally sees a new way forward. Unable to shake the guilt over Fiona's death, Essie is hell bent on uncovering what went wrong. How far will she go for answers? With Jac gone and Fletch wanting answers, Frieda faces an interminable night shift on Darwin.

9.00 Come Home See highlights.

10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.30 South East Today 10.45 This Country The Vicar's Son. Mockumentary exploring the lives of young people in modern rural Britain.

When the vicar's son, Jacob, returns from living in Bristol, can Kurtan help him re-adjust to village life?

Meanwhile, Kerry continues to try to give back to the local community by visiting an elderly neighbour.

11.10 TBA 12.10am Weather For The Week Ahead

BBC2

6.00pm Eggheads Jeremy Vine hosts the show where every day a new team of challengers take on probably the greatest quiz team in Britain. Can the challengers triumph or will the cash prize roll over to the next show?

6.30 The Repair Shop 7.00 Mountain: Life At The Extreme Rockies. Wildlife series from the BBC's Natural History Unit which uses breathtaking photography to take viewers to the greatest mountain ranges of the world to reveal the extraordinary animals and remarkable people who make their home there. .

8.00 Great Indian Railway Journeys Jodhpur to Delhi. Bradshaw's 1913 Handbook of Indian, Foreign and Colonial Travel in hand, Michael Portillo embarks on a stunning rail journey from the Thar Desert in Rajasthan to the Indian capital, taking in desert landscapes and dazzling historic palaces.

9.00 Amazing Hotels: Life Beyond The Lobby Documentary.

10.00 Mum Subtle family sitcom seen through the eyes of Cathy, following a year in her life as she moves on from the death of her husband.

10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day's headlines with Kirsty Wark.

11.15 Reggie Yates: Searching For Grenfell's Lost Lives 12.15am MasterChef

AK SOUFFLE Andrew Kay

ITV1

6.00pm ITV News Meridian 6.30 ITV Evening News 7.00 Emmerdale Tracy is on the warpath, Ross is pushed to the limit, and Bernice clashes with Daz. 7.30 International Football: England v Italy Live Mark Pougatch is joined by Slaven Bilic, Ian Wright and Lee Dixon for action from Wembley Stadium as England continue their preparations for the 2018 World Cup in a clash with Italy. Gareth Southgate's side qualified with ease for this summer's tournament in Russia, so all thoughts have turned to improving on their showing in the last World Cup in Brazil. Italy surprisingly failed to qualify but should still provide top-tier opposition. Commentary is provided

by Clive Tyldesley and Glenn Hoddle.

10.15 ITV News at Ten The day's national and international news with reporting and analysis from ITV's Correspondents in the UK and around the world. The programme provides a fresh perspective on the major stories of the day.

10.50 ITV News Meridian 11.05 International Football Highlights: England v Italy With less than three months to go until the start of the 2018 World Cup in Russia, Gareth Southgate gets a chance to look at the players who are hoping to make the final cut for his England squad.

12.05am Play To The Whistle

Channel 4

6.00pm The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks DS Roxy reveals some life-changing news to Adam but what will he decide to do next? Shane and Simone have a heart to heart and she sees through his bad boy demeanour.

7.00 Channel 4 News 8.00 The Great Celebrity Bake Off For Stand Up To Cancer See highlights.

9.15 Seven Year Switch As the bonds between the switched couples strengthen, therapist Lee Valls drops a bombshell when he reveals pictures of what their real-life partners have been up during their time apart. Some of the photos send shockwaves across the group. In particular, a photo of George's wife Michelle - who George thinks is sunbathing naked with her switch partner Tom. 10.20 Gogglebox Another chance to see Friday's new episode as the biggest and best TV moments of the week get a grilling from Britain's sharpest armchair critics.

11.25 Before We Die: Walter Presents Walter Presents - which showcases the best foreign language drama series from around the world continues with the conclusion of this compelling Swedish thriller in which a police detective must step in to handle an informant when her colleague goes missing.

12.35am Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA

Victoria Nangle

@latestandrew

Desperate times

Q

ueer Say is a fascinating week­on­week part of my life.

Trawling the web for global stories that relate to LGBT+ issues is a murky business, murky because on the whole the picture is still pretty grim. It’s 2018 and we have come so far, we have rights that once we could only dream of here in the UK. But at the same time we seem to be heading through darker times, in part here and most definitely across the rest of the globe.

Homophobia is alive and not just kicking but fighting tooth and nail, and behind it are some strange motivators.

“ Real horror struck my heart but also

real anger – did I read right, was this a state­funded school? ” Last week we had a story of donor organs being rejected by a doctor in New Zealand, a 12­year­old boy committing suicide after homophobic bullying from his class mates, and here in the UK a TV quiz person – I am refusing to name her or call her a star – making a transphobic jibe on day time television. I mean really, really? Someone needs to have a word!

But these are only the tip of an iceberg of hate, hate and lunacy. The vilest story was not necessarily related to LGBT+ issues but to the tyranny of beauty and the beauty industry.

It related to the production of a new facial serum that is made from the foreskins of Korean boys. I think that fact that they are Korean comes from the fact there is a surplus of boy foreskins there due to the continued fashion for circumcision. But that is of no matter, the horror lies in the concept that by using them, or dare I say harvesting them, certain people think they can ward off the ravages of old age. Really? Desperate or what? Get a life, we all get old, get used to it.

Finally though my heart sank at the story that a state­funded Jewish School, Yesodey Hatorah Senior Girls’ school in Stamford Hill, has admitted to blacking out all references to homosexuality in its schoolbooks. In one such instance, a history book about Nazi persecution now reads: “They persecuted any group that they thought challenged Nazi ideas: [redacted] were a threat to Nazi ideals on traditional family life.”

So we move on from Holocaust denial to homo­sex denial. Real horror struck my heart but also real anger – did I read right, was this a state­funded school? If so, surely this is criminal vandalism?

So who will charge the people behind this act of vandalism, is this a hate crime too?

We love the good news stories but by shouting out about the bad news perhaps we can do more good. Shout out! Get your voice heard.

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TV LISTINGS Are You Autistic?

Wednesday, Channel 4, 10pm Current figures state that 1 in 100 people in the UK are thought to have autism, but experts think the figure is even higher and that there is a ‘lost generation’ of adults without diagnosis.

Anna Richardson uncovers the true face of autism today.

The Secret Helpers Wednesday, BBC2, 8pm Ever wanted a voice in your ear of excellent advice, that doesn’t involve fine men in white coats taking you away? Behold... ten Brits set off on one of the toughest weeks of their lives but with the support and advice of worldly-wise strangers! Good advice straight to your brain.

Thursday 29

Wednesday 28 6.00pm Latest News 6.30 Democracy Now! 7.00 Extra Time An interesting, insightful and humourous look at the latest news in the world of football.

7.30 Football Heroes A chance to relive the careers of some of the biggest icons of football from the last 15 years.

8.00 Latest News 8.30 Democracy Now! Politics and discussion from the USA. 9.00 The Rosies The Rosies interview single mom Cath Whilby, and discuss the challenges of raising a disabled child.

9.30 Queer Say Andrew Kay's look at LGBT news and media from around the world with the help of their studio guest.

10.00 Under The Radar Paul and Jeff present music by Hawkwind, The Aliens, Ariel Pink, Red Crayola and Ozric Tentacles.

10.30 Under The Radar Paul and Jeff present music.

11.00 FILM: Soft Beds, Hard Battles (1973) Comedy.

12.50am FILM: Bitter Harvest (1963)

BBC1

6.00pm BBC News At Six The latest national and international news stories from the BBC News team, followed by weather.

6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show If it's got Britain talking then it will get talked about on The One Show.

Presented by Matt Baker and Alex Jones.

7.57 BBC News And Regional News 8.00 MasterChef Restaurateur John Torode and fruit and veg man Gregg Wallace look for Britain's next masterchef.

9.00 DIY SOS: The Big Build Nick Knowles and the team issue a call to arms and recruit friends, family and local trades to help transform the homes of families across Britain.

10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.30 South East Today 10.45 A Question Of Sport's Golden Oldies A chance to look back at some of the best shows.

11.15 Film 2018 The latest film reviews, news and interviews.

11.45 TBA 1.00am Weather For The Week Ahead

BBC2

6.00pm Eggheads Jeremy Vine hosts the quiz show.

6.30 The Repair Shop 7.00 Mountain: Life At The Extreme Strange and exotic creatures live in the Himalaya - the chiru, with the warmest wool in the world, snakes bathing in hot springs and wild yak competing in their annual rut.

8.00 The Secret Helpers See highlights.

9.00 The Assassination Of Gianni Versace American Crime Story Drama about the shocking true story of a manipulative, narcissistic fantasist with a fatal charm.

9.55 Live At The Apollo Stand-up comedy from the Hammersmith Apollo. In the penultimate episode of the series, the brilliantly energetic Russell Kane is the host, introducing E4's Game Face and Man Down star Roisin Conaty and the unique Nick Helm.

10.30 Newsnight 11.15 Amazing Hotels: Life Beyond The Lobby 12.15am David Attenborough's Natural Curiosities

ITV1

6.00pm ITV News Meridian 6.30 ITV Evening News 7.00 Emmerdale Charity offers a helping hand.

7.30 Coronation Street Phelan convinces Eileen to join him on a seaside break.

8.00 Britain's Brightest Family The third of the quarter-finals sees two bright families aim for a place in the semi-finals of the knockout quiz.

8.30 Coronation Street Gary and Seb hunt for a murder weapon.

9.00 The Real Full Monty: Live One of the biggest TV hits of 2017 is back for a full frontal extravaganza, and this time it is in Sheffield, the home of the original Full Monty. Ashley Banjo and Alexander Armstrong's even bigger and bolder show features Jeff Brazier, Ugo Monye, James Argent, Tom Parker, John Hartson, Ainsley Harriot and Johnny Partridge.

10.30 ITV News at Ten 11.00 ITV News Meridian 11.20 easyJet: Inside The Cockpit Documentary series.

12.15am Heathrow: Britain's Busiest Airport

Channel 4

6.00pm The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Leela gets some news about Tegan and a familiar face returns to the village with an announcement prepared.

7.00 Channel 4 News 8.00 The Supervet Take That's Mark Owen brings some celebrity dazzle to the surgery when he arrives with his 18-month-old Doberman, who needs treatment on a limp.

9.00 One Born Every Minute The awardwinning documentary series highlights the extraordinary highs and lows at Birmingham Women's Hospital maternity ward as parents' lives change forever when they welcome new babies into the world.

10.00 Are You Autistic?

See highlights.

11.05 999: On The Frontline When a cyclist is crushed by a 20-tonne lorry, paramedic David Hastie and student paramedic Esme Jenkins rush to Leamington Spa. 12.05am Live From Abbey Road Classics

BBC1

6.00pm Ready Or Not 6.30 BBC News The latest national and international news.

6.40 South East Today 6.45 Pointless Celebrities A special celebrity world champions edition of the general knowledge quiz in which four teams try to come up with the answers that no-one else could think of.

Presented by Alexander Armstrong and co-host Richard Osman.

Featuring Steve Davis and Sarah Ayton, Trina Gulliver and Eric Bristow, Kriss Akabusi and John Regis, Steve Collins and Jayne Torvill.

7.35 Who Dares Wins 8.20 Casualty Glen faces a heartbreaking decision on what should have been the happiest day of his life.

9.10 Troy: Fall Of A City 10.10 BBC News 10.30 Match Of The Day Gary Lineker presents highlights and analysis from the day's Premier League fixtures. The action includes Manchester City's visit to Goodison Park to play Everton and Newcastle United hosting Huddersfield Town.

12.00am TBA

6.00pm Latest News 6.30 The Vote The People's Republic of Brighton and Hove Takeover. An isle of sanity in a sea of blue.

7.00 TerraPura NonLeague Show All the latest non-league football news and action from the region.

8.00 Latest News 8.30 Digital Nation The best of Local TV from across the UK. 9.00 AK Souffle Andrew Kay introduces special guests in this LGBTfocused chat show.

9.30 Out With Allan Jay Your weekly guide to what's on and where with a behind-thescenes look at LGBTfriendly venues in and around Brighton.

10.00 TerraPura NonLeague Show All the latest non-league football news and action from the region.

11.00 The Arun Valley Postcard Trail 11.15 The Call 11.25 FILM: Cosh Boy (1953) Drama.

1.00am FILM: Whirlpool (1959) Drama.

BBC1

B

BBC1

B

6.00pm BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders It is a big day for Bernie. The Albert Square residents are still angry at the Slaters.

7.57 BBC News And Regional News 8.00 MasterChef Restaurateur John Torode and fruit and veg man Gregg Wallace look for Britain's next masterchef.

9.00 Not Going Out Sitcom. Unburdened by ambition or drive, Lee drifts from one illadvised job to another, living off the goodwill and generosity of his landlady, Kate, a cleanliving Californian.

9.30 Still Game South Africa. Comedy series.

Jack and Victor persuade Navid to lend them his caravan for one night only.

10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.30 South East Today 10.45 Unsolved 11.45 This Week A political review of the week.

12.30am Weather For The Week Ahead

6 J q 6 7 T is r h h e a 8 D f C 9 T S t t R 1 P G w p d t L 1 d a b h D 1 1

Easter Sunday

Saturday 31 6.00pm Latest News 6.30 DJ Box Get to know the world of DJing and dance music.

7.00 Football Heroes A chance to relive the careers of some of the biggest icons of football from the last 15 years.

7.30 Football Heroes A chance to relive the careers of some of the biggest icons of football from the last 15 years.

8.00 Latest News 8.30 Adrenalize Highpowered thrills and spills from the world of extreme sports.

9.00 Queer Say Andrew Kay's look at LGBT news and media from around the world with the help of their studio guest.

9.30 Queer Say Andrew Kay's look at LGBT news and media from around the world with the help of their studio guest.

10.00 Because We Did Not Choose Documentary looking at the journey made by the labourers from North East India to the front during the first World War. 12.00am Guy Lloyd's 2Minute Telly Show

Lee And Dean Friday, Channel 4, 10pm Brand new comedy following the lives of two best mate builders in Stevenage. After being inseparable for most of their lives, Dean’s nose is put out of joint when his pal falls for new girl Nikki. Before he knows it she’s moved into their flat and is organising Lee’s birthday party, but some things only a best pal can do.

BBC2

5.15pm Big Cats Documentary series following life at the Big Cat Sanctuary in Kent.

Maya is now seven weeks old and is becoming extremely determined and vocal.

Giles feels overwhelmed about the enormity of what he has taken on with the sanctuary but pays close attention to Maya's health.

6.15 Easter From King's Music and readings for Holy Week and Easter from the Chapel of King's College, Cambridge.

7.30 Dad's Army The Honourable Man. Classic wartime sitcom.

Captain Mainwaring is annoyed when a death elevates Sergeant Wilson to the fringes of the aristocracy.

8.00 Attenborough's Wonder Of Eggs 9.00 Hamlet Hamlet captures the Almeida Theatre's 2017 acclaimed production of William Shakespeare's great play, recorded aslive in its West End transfer on the stage of London's Harold Pinter Theatre.

12.15am Civilisations

ITV1

6.00pm ITV Evening News 6.15 ITV News Meridian 6.30 You've Been Framed! Harry Hill unleashes more disasters caught on viewers' digital devices.

7.00 Ant & Dec's Saturday Night Takeaway Saturday Night Takeaway is back with the Happiest 90 Minutes of the Week!

Stephen Merchant takes over duties as the Star Guest Announcer and Paloma Faith will be taking to the stage in the End of the Show Show.

8.30 The Voice UK It's the live Semi-Final of The Voice UK as the eight remaining singers perform for a place in next week's live Final.

10.00 ITV News 10.15 FILM: The Bourne Identity (2002) Starring Matt Damon, Franka Potente, Clive Owen.

Action thriller. The bullet-riddled body of a young man is pulled out of the Mediterranean off the coast of Marseilles by the crew of a French fishing boat.

12.20am Goodwood Members' Meeting

Channel 4

5.30pm The Secret Life Of The Zoo 6.30 Channel 4 News 7.00 Coastal Railways With Julie Walters Julie Walters, one of the country's best-loved actors, continues her tour of the most beautiful and interesting stretches of coastal railway routes in the UK. 8.00 Britain At Low Tide Tori Herridge explores the extraordinary stories from Britain's maritime, industrial and natural history that are revealed when the tide goes out.

9.00 FILM: Taken 3 (2015) Liam Neeson, Famke Janssen, Maggie Grace and Forest Whitaker star in the third part of the action-thriller franchise.

Having previously saved the lives of his daughter Kim and his now exspouse Leonore in Paris and Istanbul, former CIA agent Bryan Mills has returned to Los Angeles to celebrate Kim's birthday.

11.10 FILM: AVP Alien Vs. Predator (2004) Sanaa Lathan stars in Paul WS Anderson's rollercoaster sci-fi action-horror.

1.00am Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmare’s USA

6.00pm Latest News 6.30 Family, Faith and Fun Sarah Hopwood presents the happiness debate.

7.00 British Wrestling Weekly All the latest happenings from the British Wrestling Coalition.

8.00 Latest News 8.30 Brighton Album Chart Show Anthea Clarke introduces February's top 10 based on physical album sales at Brighton's cult independent record store, Resident Music.

9.00 AK Souffle Andrew Kay introduces special guests in this LGBTfocused chat show.

9.30 Out With Allan Jay Your weekly guide to what's on and where with a behind-thescenes look at LGBTfriendly venues.

10.00 FILM: When The Bough Breaks (1947) Drama. Stars Patricia Roc, Rosamund John & Bill Owen. A young mother hands over her baby to foster parents, but struggles to let go emotionally.

11.40 FILM: The Culpepper Cattle Co (1972) 1.30am Brighton Album Chart Show

6.05pm BBC News 6.20 South East Today 6.30 Countryfile Shropshire. As the birthplace of the industrial revolution, this is a landscape rich in coal and iron. But the legacy of one of the ancient coal shafts is a river that is colourful for all the wrong reasons - it runs bright orange with iron-rich ochre from the rocks below.

7.30 Hold The Sunset Comedy.

8.00 MasterChef Restaurateur John Torode and fruit and veg man Gregg Wallace look for Britain's next masterchef.

8.30 RAF At 100 With Ewan And Colin McGregor 10.00 BBC News 10.20 South East Today 10.30 FILM: War Of The Worlds (2005) Science fiction remake of the 1953 adaptation of HG Wells's classic novel about a dock worker's fight to get his children to safety when merciless aliens attack Earth. Starring Tom Cruise, Dakota Fanning, Justin Chatwin, Tim Robbins.

12.15am The Women's Football Show

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on Lenny Henry: The Commonwealth Kid Easter Monday, BBC1, 9pm Sir Lenny Henry, born in Dudley but Jamaica bred, connects his own heritage with the Commonwealth. He sets off on a world tour to speak with the people of the Commonwealth (not all of them) about what membership means to them.

Ordeal By Innocence Easter Sunday, BBC2, 9pm Agatha Christie is pretty darn nifty at these ensemble pieces, and the BBC are pretty rootin tootin impressive at re-shooting this one, originally scheduled for Christmas.

Ed Westwick (allegations still pending) is replaced by Christian Cook, joined by Anna Chancellor, Bill Nighy and Alice Eve. Whodunnit?

Dave Allen At Peace Easter Monday, BBC2, 9pm A night celebrating the taboochallenging godfather of modern stand-up, starting with this dramatisation of his life starring Aidan Gillen. Exploring his comic roots, genius, family loss (and loss of a digit), death threats from the IRA, and the wrath of the Catholic church.

Good Friday BBC2

6.00pm Eggheads Jeremy Vine hosts the quiz show.

6.30 The Repair Shop 7.00 Mountain: Life At The Extreme The Andes is the longest mountain range in the world and home to astonishing hidden worlds, extraordinary animals and remarkable people.

8.00 Big Cats Documentary series following life at the Big Cat Sanctuary in Kent.

9.00 Civilisations The Triumph of Art. Simon Schama examines how traditions developed in the years following the Renaissances.

10.00 MOTD: The Premier League Show Gabby Logan hosts the weekly magazine programme, featuring indepth interviews with the biggest Premier League stars.

10.30 Newsnight Indepth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day's headlines with Evan Davis.

11.15 Top Gear 12.15am MasterChef

ITV1

6.00pm ITV News Meridian 6.30 ITV Evening News 7.00 Emmerdale Pete starts a frantic search for Ross.

7.30 Can Brexit Fix Britain? Tonight With one year to go until Britain exits the EU, Tonight asks if Brexit will deliver the dreams of those who voted to leave.

8.00 Emmerdale Drama.

8.30 Coronation Street Gary and Seb unearth more than they bargained for.

9.00 The Real Full Monty: Ladies' Night Hot on the heels of the return of 'The Real Full Monty: Live', eight female celebrities have been gearing up for the performance of their lives. Following Coleen Nolan, Victoria Derbyshire, Sally Dexter, Megan McKenna, Michelle Heaton, Helen Lederer, Ruth Madoc and Sarah-Jane Crawford.

10.30 ITV News at Ten 11.00 ITV News Meridian 11.15 FILM: Kingpin (1996) Woody Harrelson, Randy Quaid. Comedy.

1.15am Jackpot247

Channel 4

6.00pm The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Ryan is panicking about the recent news on Tegan could the truth be closing in on him?

7.00 Channel 4 News 8.00 Location, Location, Location This time Kirstie Allsopp is with Emma and Lee, who are searching in Barry in South Wales. Phil Spencer's in the Wye Valley with Will and Aby. 9.00 Indian Summer School Five British boys who have failed their core GCSEs are given a second chance at a school like no other.

Inspired by studies which suggest white working class boys do better academically in ethnically mixed classrooms, the boys take part in a study programme at the world famous Doon School in India.

10.00 20 Kids And Conuting Britain's biggest family face their biggest year yet.

11.05 Gogglebox Comedy TV review series.

12.05am One Born Every Minute

6.00pm Latest News 6.30 The Vote Guests from the world of politics discuss local and national issues.

7.00 Under The Radar Paul and Jeff show videos.

7.30 Brighton Album Chart Show February's top 10 based on physical album sales at Resident Music.

8.00 Latest News 8.30 Live From the Roadee Live music from the Roadee - a mobile recording studio.

9.00 Tales From The Margins Extra This Little Father Obsession (2016) Directed by Selim Mourad. A man confronts his own sexuality while taking his father on a quest inside their family tree.

10.00 Charlie's Letters Drama based on the experiences of director Elliott Hasler's greatgrandfather during World War Two. 11.30 Guy Lloyd's 2Minute Telly Show 11.35 FILM: A Taste Of Honey (1961) Drama.

Director: Tony Richardson. Stars Rita Tushingham, Dora Bryan & Murray Melvin.

BBC1

6.00pm BBC News At Six 6.20 South East Today 6.30 TBA 7.00 The One Show 7.40 The Silent Child 7.57 BBC News And Regional News 8.00 EastEnders Hunter tries to stop Jack pursuing his mum.

8.30 Room 101 Frank Skinner hosts the comedy panel show.

Stephen Mangan, Phil Wang and Holly Walsh guest.

9.00 MasterChef Restaurateur John Torode and fruit and veg man Gregg Wallace look for Britain's next masterchef.

9.30 Mrs Brown's Boys Comedy series about a loudmouthed Irish matriarch.

10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 FILM: Spooks: The Greater Good (2015) Action thriller that sees a disgraced intelligence chief team up with a former agent when a terrorist escapes from custody. Starring Peter Firth, Kit Harington.

12.10am Weather For The Week Ahead

Victoria Nangle

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

6.00pm Eggheads Jeremy Vine hosts the quiz show.

6.30 The Repair Shop 7.00 David Attenborough's Natural Curiosities Ferocious Fighters. Sir David Attenborough examines the mysteries behind some of nature's most fascinating creatures and plants.

7.30 Mastermind: The Final Four contestants are interrogated on a chosen subject, plus a general knowledge round, in the famous black chair, to compete for the grand title of Mastermind.

8.30 Gardeners' World 9.00 Pilgrimage: The Road To Santiago 10.00 TBA 10.30 The Assassination Of Gianni Versace American Crime Story Drama about the shocking true story of a manipulative, narcissistic fantasist with a fatal charm.

11.25 FILM: The Way (2010) Drama. Starring Martin Sheen, Emilio Estevez.

1.25am Civilisations

6.00pm Paul O'Grady: For the Love of Dogs Paul meets Twinkle - a young lurcher who was abandoned and left tied to a gate - four-monthold terrier cross Buddy who has a severe case of ADD. 6.30 ITV News Meridian 6.45 ITV Evening News 7.00 Emmerdale Jimmy is embroiled in a power game.

7.30 Coronation Street The truth about Phelan finally catches up with Eileen.

8.00 Love Your Garden Garden makeover series presented by Alan Titchmarsh.

8.30 Coronation Street Eileen refuses to let Phelan get away with his crimes, Eva unwittingly raises Aidan's hopes.

9.00 FILM: Fast & Furious 7 (2015) Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Jason Statham. Deckard Shaw seeks revenge against Dominic Toretto and his family for his comatose brother.

Director: James Wan 11.30 ITV News at Ten 11.50 Bear's Mission with Anthony Joshua 12.40am The Durrells

6.00pm The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Ryan turns to Glenn for help but will he agree?

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.30 Food Unwrapped Jimmy Doherty, Kate Quilton and Matt Tebbutt present more of their favourite investigations.

8.00 Britain’s Favourite Food Simon Rimmer looks back at our favourite food brands from Angel Delight to Smash to Ski yoghurt, Findus Crispy Pancakes and many others exploring what really went into them and why we lapped them up.

9.00 Gogglebox The biggest and best TV moments of the week get their weekly grilling from Britain's sharpest armchair critics.

10.00 Lee And Dean See highlights.

10.30 8 Out Of 10 Cats Does Countdown Jimmy Carr hosts the comedy panel show with team captains Rob Beckett and Aisling Bea. 11.15 Rob Beckett’s Playing For Time Rob Beckett and celebrity pals travel back in time to play the greatest video games in history.

11.50 Rude Tube

Easter Monday BBC2

6.00pm The Big Painting Challenge 7.00 Countryfile The people and the stories at the heart of the British countryside.

8.00 The Generation Game Mel and Sue front this Sunday night comeback Easter special, in which couples face all manner of challenges, including remebering a cuddly toy.

9.00 Ordeal By Innocence See highlights.

10.00 BBC News The latest national and international news, with reports from BBC correspondents worldwide.

10.20 South East Today 10.30 Match Of The Day 2 Mark Chapman and guests provide highlights and in-depth analysis from the big games of the day as Chelsea host London rivals Tottenham and Stoke visit Arsenal.

There is also a round-up of every goal and major talking point from Saturday's fixtures.

11.30 The Women's Football Show The latest highlights and talking points from the women's game.

12.05am Weather For The Week Ahead

ITV1

6.00pm The Chase: Celebrity Special Bradley Walsh hosts as four celebrities come together as a team in order to take on one of the country's finest quiz brains. Fiona Bruce, Rick Edwards, Kate Humble and Joe Swash join forces.

7.00 Change Your Tune Baz Ashmawy hosts a musical game show.

8.00 The Durrells Lighthearted drama series based on Gerald Durrell's Corfu memoirs.

After arriving in Bournemouth at Aunt Hermione's house, Larry quickly sets off to visit friends in London.

9.00 The Good Karma Hospital India-based hospital drama series.

Gabriel joins Ruby on an outreach programme to a tea plantation, but he discovers that she has not been open about her motive for the trip.

10.00 ITV News 10.15 FILM: Sherlock Holmes (2009) Starring Robert Downey Jr., Jude Law, Rachel McAdams.

Action-packed murder mystery.

12.40am Marcella

Channel 4

5.15pm The Great Celebrity Bake Off For Stand Up To Cancer 6.30 Channel 4 News 7.00 Homes By The Med Charlie Luxton visits the beautiful Spanish island of Mallorca.

8.00 Escape To The Chateau As the leaves turn to gold at the chateau, Dick and Angel are battening down the hatches for winter. Top of Dick's never-ending to do list is fixing the crumbling stucco.

9.00 Homeland a move, and Wellington has a reckoning. Meanwhile, Saul expands an operation.

10.05 FILM: The Green Mile (1999) Prison drama. In 1935, in a Louisiana prison, Paul Edgecomb (Tom Hanks) is head guard on the death row, which is known locally as the green mile. He's a kind man who aims to make life as easy as possible for everyone. But when John Coffey (Michael Clarke Duncan) - a manmountain with learning disabilities who has been convicted of raping and murdering two girls arrives things start to get strange.

1.25am The Supervet

6.00pm Latest News 6.30 The Vote Guests from the world of politics discuss local and national issues.

7.00 TerraPura NonLeague Show All the latest non-league football news and action from the region.

8.00 Latest News The latest news where we are, the latest sports news, plus national and international updates.

8.30 Brighton Lights Jamie Walker presents a roundup of the week's must-see events in Brighton, Hove and beyond.

9.00 Tales From The Margins Extra This Little Father Obsession (2016) Directed by Selim Mourad. A man confronts his own sexuality while taking his father on a quest inside their family tree.

10.00 TerraPura NonLeague Show All the latest non-league football news and action from the region.

11.00 Guy Lloyd's 2Minute Telly Show 11.05 Guy Lloyd's 2Minute Telly Show 11.10 FILM: The Naked Kiss (1964) Drama.

1.00am FILM: We Joined The Navy (1962)

BBC1

6.00pm BBC News At Six 6.20 South East Today 6.30 Mastermind Celebrity Special John Humphrys puts the questions to some of the UK's cleverest celebrities.

7.00 The One Show If it's got Britain talking then it will get talked about on The One Show.

7.30 MasterChef Restaurateur John Torode and fruit and veg man Gregg Wallace look for Britain's next masterchef.

8.00 EastEnders Another visit to the residents of Albert Square.

8.30 Classic Mary Berry 9.00 Lenny Henry: The Commonwealth Kid See highlights.

10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.20 South East Today 10.30 Michael McIntyre: Happy & Glorious Michael McIntyre is back. Happy & Glorious was recorded at the O2 in London, where Michael has now performed 27 times, more than any other artist in the world.

11.30 Live At The Apollo Stand-up comedy.

12.15am Weather For The Week Ahead

6.00pm Eggheads Jeremy Vine hosts the quiz show.

6.30 The Repair Shop In the repair shop today, three cherished family heirlooms are brought back to life.

7.00 Top Gear Motoring magazine show.

8.00 Only Connect Quiz show presented by Victoria Coren Mitchell.

8.30 University Challenge Quiz series for students.

9.00 Dave Allen At Peace See highlights.

10.00 Dave Allen: God's Own Comedian Told by family and friends, with rare unseen archive, this documentary reflects on the career of Dave Allen, who became a TV star in Australia in his twenties, before returning home to dominate the schedules in Britain. With contributions from Stephen Berkoff, Stephen Frears, and Dame Maggie Smith, among others.

11.00 The Unique Dave Allen 11.30 Conspiracy Files: Murder In Washington Documentary series.

12.30am David Attenborough's Natural Curiosities

6.00pm Paul O'Grady: For the Love of Dogs Paul O'Grady meets more of the canine residents at Battersea Dogs and Cats Home.

6.30 ITV News Meridian 6.45 ITV Evening News 7.00 Emmerdale Brenda struggles to contain her emotions.

7.30 Coronation Street Shocking news reaches the residents of Coronation Street.

8.00 The Kyle Files Current affairs programme.

8.30 Coronation Street Shona tackles David about their non-existent love life.

9.00 Marcella Having discovered a key fact about the killer, Marcella returns to Nigel Stafford's home to uncover the truth behind his false allegations about Vince, but the truth leads to tragedy for the team.

10.00 ITV News at Ten 10.20 The Real Full Monty: Live One of the biggest TV hits of 2017 is back for a full-frontal extravaganza, and this time it is in Sheffield, the home of the original Full Monty.

11.50 The Durrells 12.40am The Kyle Files

6.00pm The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Sienna surprises Joel with a present.

7.00 Channel 4 News 8.00 The Million Pound Holiday Club Four celebrities are thrown into the gold-plated world of luxury reportage, as they're assigned to review holidays and experiences that most of us could only dream of.

8.30 Travel Man: 48 Hours In Brussells Richard Ayoade returns to provide much needed guidance and inspiration to would-be minibreakers.

9.00 The Island With Bear Grylls For the fifth series, two separate groups are abandoned at opposite ends of a remote uninhabited island in the Pacific Ocean.

10.00 Kiss Me First Bryan Elsley's (Skins, Dates) innovative thriller series combines live action with stunning state-of-the-art computer-generated virtual world sequences in a TV drama first.

11.05 Greg Davies: The Back Of My Mum’s Head 12.05am Lee And Dean