LA VACA I HEARD IN THE EARLY AFTERNOON THEY ARE GOING TO KILL A COW . EVERYONE WAS TELLING ME , NOT YET .. NOT YET . I WAS WONDERING WHAT ARE THEY WAITING FOR . SOME MAN STARTED TO TIE THE ANIMAL TO A TREE ONE ROPE AFTER ANOTHER , SO SHE SLOWLY FALL ON THE GROUND . THEY BENT HER HEAD BACKWARD : HER BODY WAS TWISTED IN ORDER TO EXPOSE THE HEART. THE OLD MAN WITH CRAZY EYES WAS WALKING AROUND THE COW TRYING TO FIND THE BEST ANGLE . THERE WAS SILENCE EVERYWHERE . EVERYONE WAS WAITING STARING AT IT ALL, FOR A TIME THAT COULD HAVE BEEN SHORT BUT FOR ME WAS ETERNAL. THE COW BREATHING WAS VERY FAST. SHE SHITTED HERSELF SEVERAL TIMES . PROBABLY SHE KNEW WHAT WAS ABOUT TO HAPPEN . THE MAN STUBBED HER QUICKLY 3 OR 4 TIMES , I THINK HE MISSED THE SPOT AT THE BEGINNING . ANOTHER MAN BROUGHT A BUCKET; I WAS WATCHING THE BLOOD SPILLING OUT OF THE COW’S HEART . THE BLOOD WAS BRIGHT RED AND THICK . MORE LIKE CREAM THEN LIKE WATER . I STARTED TO BE CONSCIOUS OF MY OWN BLOOD RUNNING IN MY VEINS, MY HEART BEATING . THE MAN WAS FROM A FAMILY OF BUTCHERS . AFTER HE STUBBED THE COW , HIS SONS STARTED TO CHOP THE BODY QUICKLY . THE MEAT NEEDED TO BE PROCESS AS FAST AS POSSIBLE BECAUSE OF THE HEAT . THEY OPENED THE COW’S BODY AND STARTED TO TAKE OUT EVERYTHING FROM HER BELLY . I COULD FEEL THE WARM COMING OUT FROM INSIDE OF HER . THE WOMEN CAME . THEY STARTED TO WASH THE INTESTINES FROM THE HALF DIGESTED GRASS . THEY ALL SEAMED HIGH . I WAS FEELING HIGH AS WELL FROM THE SMELL OF THE COOLING BODY , THE HYPNOTIC PICTURE OF THE INSIDE OF THE ANIMAL LIKE AN EMPTY BOX . THEY ALL WERE MOVING VERY FAST . I WAS MOVING FAST TAKING PICTURES OF EVERYONE . SOMEONE BROUGHT SOME BEERS . I HAD ONE , I DIDN’T EVEN FEEL IT . I WAS SO OFF ALREADY . THE SCENT WAS A MIX OF GREENS FROM HER STOMACH AND MEAT .THE HEAT COMING OUT OF HER WAS MORE THEN THE OUTSIDE TEMPERATURE OF 40 C. IN TRADITIONAL CHINESE MEDICINE THEY NEVER USED SURGERY , INSTEAD - THEY WERE USING AGOPUNCTURE TO HEAL THE SUBTLE ENERGY FLOW IN THE BODY , AND HERBS . I HAD THIS THOUGHT WHILE I WAS WATCHING THE INSIDE OF THE COW, I THOUGHT OF IT AS SOMETHING INTIMATE AND PRIVATE OF HER . SO FASCINATING . JULIANA TOLD ME THEY WERE KILLING A COW EVERY TIME THERE WAS A “FIESTA” ( PARTY), AND THERE WAS A FIESTA NEARLY EVERY WEEKEND . THE FAMILY IN CHARGE OF THE PARTY , WAS PAYING FOR THE COW , BUT ALL THE INVITED PEOPLE WERE GOING TO HELP CLEANING THE MEAT AND COOKING. “ THE COW NEEDS TO BE EATEN IN A FEW DAYS” SAID JULIANA “ NOBODY EAT REFRIGERATED MEAT HERE . IF THEY DO - THE SELLER MUST SPECIFY THE MEAT COMES FROM A FRIDGE” . EVERY PART OF THE COW WAS CONSUMED INCLUDING BLOOD AND ORGANS . NOTHING WAS WASTED . THE SECOND TIME I SAW A COW’S SACRIFICE, IT WAS FOR VERO’S XV AÑOS . THE BUTCHERS WERE FROM ANOTHER FAMILY . INSTEAD OF TYING HER UP BEFORE THE STUBBING , THEY FIRST HAMMERED HER IN THE HEAD . THEY HAD TO DO IT 3 OR 4 TIMES BEFORE SHE FELL UNCONSCIOUS . I STILL CAN HEAR THAT SOUND IN MY MEMORIES. I HAD SOME BARBACOA MADE OF HER DURING THE PARTY.
ARITMIA THE FIRST DAY I GOT TO SAN JOSE MORELOS , SILVINA, JULIANA’S SISTER RECEIVED ME IN HER HOME . JULIANA ARRIVED SOME HOURS LATER . WHILE WAITING I TOOK A NAP ON A LONG CHAIR . I WAS VERY TIRED FROM THE TRIP : SEVERAL HOURS FROM PUERTO ESCONDIDO IN THE HEAT . LATER IN THE AFTERNOON JULIANA AND I TALKED ABOUT A COMMON PROJECT AND SHE SAND ME TO BED AT 8 PM . PEOPLE IN THE PUEBLO GO TO BAD VERY EARLY AND WAKE UP EARLY . I DIDN’T PROTEST , I IMMEDIATELY FELL ASLEEP . THE ENERGY IN THE PLACE IS CIRCULAR . EVERYTHING MOVES WITH THE RHYTHM OF NATURE VERONICA SLEEPS A LOT IN THE AFTERNOON . I SAW HER COLLAPSED IN THE HAMMOCK MANY TIMES . SHE REMINDED ME OF MYSELF : I USE TO WAKE UP VERY EARLY DURING HIGH SCHOOL : WE HAD VERY LONG HOURS SO I USED TO GO TO SLEEP AFTER COMING BACK FROM SCHOOL . MOSTLY MY MOTHER WAS SLEEPING AT THE TIME I WAS BACK . SHE ALWAYS LIKED TO TAKE A NAP AFTER LUNCH . I USE TO SLEEP A LOT WHEN I WAS IN THE COSTA CHICA . THE HEAT WAS VERY STRONG , AFTER THE MEAL AND CONVERSATION - THE EVENING WAS FADING INTO SLEEP . WHEN VERO HAD A FREE DAY SHE WAS ABLE TO SLEEP THE WHOLE DAY , WITHOUT EATING MUCH . JULIANA WAS WORRY ABOUT HER DAUGHTER. SHE TOLD ME VERO DOESN’T HAVE THAT MANY FRIENDS , SHE PREFERS TO BE ALONE . WHEN I GOT TO JULIANA’S HOUSE IN AUGUST 2017 , WE HAD A MOVIE NIGHT : WE WATCHED A COUPLE OF HORROR MOVIES ON A PROJECTOR , AND ATE POPCORN . SOME FRIENDS OF VERO WERE SUPPOSE TO COME OVER BUT THEY WEREN’T ALLOWED . JULIANA EXPLAINED ME THAT IS VERY UNUSUAL THAT PARENTS ALLOW GIRLS TO SLEEP OUT OF THEIR HOMES . VERONICA HAD ARITMIA . I DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT IT , IT COME OUT CLOSE TO THE XV AÑOS PARTY DATE , BUT APPARENTLY SHE HAD IT SINCE SHE WAS LITTLE . SHE SAYS SHE FEELS LIKE SHE’S SUFFOCATING . VERO’S GRANDFATHER WALKS HER TO SCHOOL AS WELL ( FROM A DISTANCE ) . SHE WAKES UP A 4 OR 5 AM , WASHES, MAKES HER HAIR , DRESSES AND WALKS TO SCHOOL . SHE SLEEPS A LOT IN THE AFTERNOON . ONE DAY JULIANA ASKED ME ABOUT MY FATHER AS I TOLD HER I GREW UP JUST WITH MY MOTHER . SHE WANTED TO KNOW HOW I FELT ABOUT IT, AND IF I HAD ANY RELATIONSHIPS WITH HIM. JULIANA AND VERO’S FATHER SPLITED UP WHEN SHE WAS PREGNANT OF VERO. SHE SAYS HER EMOTIONS PASSED OVER TO HER THAT’S WHY HER HEART WORKS DIFFERENTLY. JULIANA SAYS SHE CAN HEAR AND SEE HIDDEN THINGS SOMETIMES , BUT SHE SAYS SHE DOESN’T WANT TO KNOW MORE ABOUT “IT”. SHE’S BEEN TOLD BY A CURANDERA SHE IS A “BRUJA” ( WITCH), THAT’S WHY SHE COULD SEE AND FEEL CERTAIN THINGS . JULIANA HAD AN UTERUS CANCER . WHEN I WENT TO VISIT HER IN AUGUST SHE WAS SPENDING MOST OF HER TIME ON THE HAMMOCK .
BELEN - ETERNAL RECURRENCE DOÑA BELEN IS THE BEST HEALER IN JOSE MORELOS. I PHOTOGRAPHED HER ONE YEAR APART OF THE SECOND MEETING, AND SAW SHE CHANGED A LOT . SOMEHOW SHE LOOKED LIKE A DIFFERENT PERSON . I WENT TO MORELOS AFTER A DOG BITED ME IN MAZUNTE WERE I WAS LIVING . I WAS PRETTY EXHAUSTED AND SCARED. IT NEVER HAPPENED TO ME BEFORE . SHE CURED ME FROM “EL ESPANTO” (FRIGHT) . AN EFFECT OF A TRAUMATIC EVENT WHERE THEY BELIEVE PART OF THE PERSON’S SPIRIT GOES SOMEWHERE ELSE . THE HEALER BRINGS IT BACK AND CAN READ FROM WAX WHAT HAPPENED TO THE PERSON . IN MY CASE THE READING WAS PRETTY ACCURATE EITHER ABOUT THE DOGS AND OTHER OLDER DREADS . I DIDN’T TELL HER I WAS BITTEN BY A DOG . WHEN I ARRIVED SHE SAID TO ME : WE WERE WAITING FOR YOU . I HAD TO GO BACK THE DAY AFTER . THE RITUAL IS 2 DAYS LONG AS THE PROCESS CAN BE HEAVY FOR THE PATIENT . WHILE LOST PARTS OF MY SOUL WERE SLOWLY GOING BACK INTO PLACE SHE WAS LIGHTLY SITTING IN FRONT OF ME AND RELENTLESSLY TALKING ABOUT HER OWN STORY AND RANDOM THINGS. WHEN THE PROCESS WAS DONE SHE JUST STOPPED TALKING AND SAID TO ME : NOW YOU GONNA GO HOME AND RELAX . TOMORROW YOU’R GONNA BE OKEY . I HAD MANY QUESTIONS BUT I UNDERSTOOD THE CONVERSATION WAS OVER . DOÑA BELEN HAS 8 CHILDREN , ALL OF THEM LIVE IN UNITED STATES . SHE GOES VISIT THEM NOW AND THEN , AND SOMETIMES CURE PEOPLE THERE . “MY HUSBAND BET ME UP WHEN I WAS PREGNANT OF MY SECOND SON , TILL HE LEFT ME HALF DEAD ON THE FLOR AND LEFT, BECAUSE HE DIDN’T WANT ME TO CURE PEOPLE . “ I ASKED : “AND THE REST OF YOUR CHILDREN ARE FROM ANOTHER HUSBAND ? “NO! I TOOK A MAN FROM THE STREET, ‘CAUSE I DIDN’T WANT A HUSBAND ANYMORE. EVEN HIS WOMAN WANTED TO LEFT ME HER CHILDREN TO TAKE CARE OF. BUT NOT ME. I DON’T LIKE WHEN SOMEONE GIVES ME ORDERS.” - “ME NEITHER” I THOUGHT. WHEN I LAST WENT TO VISIT DOÑA BELEN SHE FIRST DIDN’T RECOGNISE ME . SHE HAD SEVERAL HEALTH PROBLEMS DURING THE LAST YEAR AND HER MIND WAS PLYING HER TRICKS . WE SET IN THE SUN IN HER YARD LIKE TWO OLD FRIENDS . SHE TOLD ME SHE WAS SLEEPWALKING , SO SHE ASKED HER SONS TO LOCK HER IN AT NIGHT OTHERWISE SHE WAS GOING AROUND THE PUEBLO . AFTER A SECOND OF PAUSE SHE SAID : “UNA VEZ ME FUI LEJOS. I NO ESTABA DORMIDA . ESTABA HARTA Y ME FUI A OTRO PUEBLO “ SHE TOLD ME SHE HAD TO TAKE CARE OF MANY NEPHEWS ALL THE TIME SO SHE GOT TIRED AND LEFT . SHE WENT TO SOME FAR FAMILY MEMBERS WHO WERE LEAVING IN CHACAGUA, A VILLAGE ON THE LAGOON . HER FAMILY HAD BEEN LOOKING FOR HER FOR DAYS TILL THEY PHONED TO THAT VILLAGE AND DISCOVERED WHERE SHE WAS . WE HAD A LONG LAUGH ABOUT IT . ABOUT FREEDOM . I SAID GOODBYE TO HER . I HAD A STRONG FEELING THAT , THAT WAS THE LAST TIME I GOT TO SEE HER. HER LITTLE DOG WAS PREGNANT AGAIN.
LENA Y LOS LAGARTOS ONE DAY I WAS SITTING IN LENA’S HOME . I HAD 3 NESCAFE ALREADY AND MY HEART WAS BITING VERY FAST . LENA SAID : MY HUSBAND LEFT ME FOR ANOTHER WOMEN , HE WENT TO LIVE TO A PUEBLO NEARBY. WHEN IT HAPPENED I WENT TO THE MOUNTAIN WITH REGINA AND I STARTED TO CUT WEEDS. I HAD BEEN CUTTING THE WEEDS WITH MY MACHETE FOR MANY DAYS TILL I HAD ENOUGH . “ WE MET IN THE RIVER . SHE WAS THERE, IN THE WATER FULLY DRESSED WITH A LONG SKIRT AND A BLUES , FISHING WITH HER HANDS IN THE MUD FRESHWATER SHRIMPS. WHEN I WAS A CHILD, I WAS GOING ON VACATION TO A LAKE WITH MY FAMILY . I REMEMBER I WAS THE SMALLEST OF ALL CHILDREN AND THE WATER WAS DARK . TO GET TO SWIM WITH THE OTHERS I NEEDED TO WALK THROUGH A CEMETERY OF DEAD SHRIMPS BODIES .. THEY WERE HARD AND THE MUD WAS SOFT : MY FEET WERE SINKING VERY FAST IN IT AND I REMEMBER THE GRASP OF MY FEAR. I HAVE NEVER GOT TO SEE THEM, BUT IT WAS A WEIRD SENSATION OF TOUCHING THE UNDERWORLD WITH MY TOES. THE WATER IN THE LENA’S RIVER WAS FAR WARMER, AND SHE WAS A HELL OF A FISHERWOMEN. JULIANA STAYED ON THE SHORE WHILE I GOT IN AND WENT FISHING A BIT WITH REGINA AND LENA . SOME DAYS THEY DIDN’T GOT IN THE WATER AS THE “LAGARTOS” ( THE CROCODILES) WERE GETTING MORE ARROGANT AND HUNGRY. IT’S A PRETTY DANGEROUS JOB, BUT BOTH WOMEN’S HUSBANDS LEFT SO.. LENA TOOK ME SELLING FISH WITH HER IN LA BOQUILLA WHERE SHE INTRODUCED ME TO MANY WOMEN. LICANDRA IS A VERY WELL KNOWN OLD HEALER. WHEN I WENT TO VISIT HER, SHE SHOWED ME A ROOM WHERE THERE WAS WAX ON THE FLOOR IN 4 POINTS : SHE COULD READ WHAT HAPPENED TO THE PATIENT FROM THE IT . SHE TOLD ME ABOUT THE “TONOS”, WHEN A PERSON IS BOUNDED TO AN ANIMAL IN THE MOUNTAIN . WHEN THE ANIMAL GET SICK OR HURT , THE PERSON GET SICK AS WELL . SOMETIMES, A PERSON WHO IS AN ANIMAL , WAKES UP ALL BEATEN UP, BECAUSE THE CORRESPONDENT ANIMAL WAS FIGHTING IN THE WOODS. BUT A HEALER CAN HEAL THIS KIND OF PERSON BY HEALING THE ANIMAL . THIS PERSON NEVER REVEALS HIS NATURE TO NO ONE. IT’S DANGEROUS FOR HIS CLAN . ONE DAY I WAS WALKING WITH ALEJANDRA, A MIDWIFE. ALEJANDRA KNOWS HOW TO PUT THE BABY IN PLACE IN A WOMAN’S BELLY WHEN SOMETHING WASN’T RIGHT. WE PASSED BY A MAN WITH BIG YELLOW EYES AND VERTICAL BLACK PUPILS. SHE SAD LAUGHING TO US BOTH : “LOOK THIS GUY TRIED TO BITE ME IN THE RIVER THE OTHER DAY, I KNOW IT WAS YOU OLD MAN, YOU ARE A LAGARTO”. THE MAN DIDN’T REACT , I LOOKED AT HIM AND I KNEW HE WAS ONE OF THEM.
MAYA ART 2017-2022
THIS BOOK IS DEDICATED TO MY MOTHER
THANKS TO : SONIA , ALESSANDRA, EDITH, FELIPA VERONICA, JULIANA, YADI, ANGUSTIA FELICIDAD, MARY, DOÑA BELÉN TIA EMA, MAYA, ADRIANA REGINA, LENA, ALEJANDRA C, EMPERATRIZ, ROSAURA, LORENZA... ...AND ALL THE WOMEN, FROM COSTA CHICA SPECIAL THANKS TO MY FAMILY FOR ALL THE LOVE AND SUPPORT
THIS BOOK HAS BEEN DEVELOPED DURING “INCUBADORA DE FOTOLIBROS 3” A PROGRAM BY HYDRA+FOTOGRAFIA IN MEXICO CITY, MEXICO © PHOTOGRAPHS AND TEXTS MAYA ART © TITLE RAMON PEZ + MAYA ART CREATIVE DIRECTION MAYA ART + HYDRA EDITORIAL COORDINATION HYDRA ENGLISH CORRECTION VIRGINIA MESSAGGI BOOKBINDING NINFA ALVARADO
VERY SPECIAL THANKS TO THE ACEVEDO FAMILY FOR ALL THE HELP THEY GAVE ME IN THE PROCESS OF DISCOVERING, UNDERSTANDING AND LOVING COSTA CHICA
PRINTED IN MEXICO IN 2022 AT HYDRA + FOTOGRAFÍA
SPECIAL THANKS TO ANA CASAS AND RAMON PEZ FOR ALL THE SUPPORT DURING THE JOURNEY
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THANKS TO JOHN EDWARD AND VIRGINIA MESSAGGI FOR THEIR HELP CORRECTING MY WRITINNG
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