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LivingNotes
B E G I N N I N G OF THE E N D
“Olya!” - a voice from behind definitely says my n a m e. D i d I h e a r i t r i g h t ? M y e ye s s c a n t h e d a r k p a r k i n g l o t by t h e r e s t a u r a n t . A g i r l i s w a l k i n g t o w a r d s u s . Tw o m o r e g u y s a r e w a i t i n g by t h e c a r. A n o t h e r f r a c t i o n o f a s e c o n d a n d m y e ye s r e c o g n i z e M a i a , M i k e ’s p a r t n e r. “ I D I D h e a r r i g h t ! ” - m y l i p s s t r e t c h i n t o a s m i l e. I l i k e M a i a . S h e h a s a g e n u i n e a n d n i c e v i b e. “ W h a t a r e yo u d o i n g h e r e ? ” “ We a r e s i n g i n g a t t h i s r e s t a u r a n t . ” - M a i a ’s h a n d points to the place we considered for dinner just a second ago. Maybe we go back now? Seems like Maya sensed the doubt. “A r e yo u l o o k i n g f o r a g o o d p l a c e t o e a t ? G o t o L’ E s t a n c o E l Ja r d i n . I t ’s A M A Z I N G ! A n d i f yo u w a n t t o h e a r u s s i n g, c o m e t o m o r r o w ! I w i l l h av e M i k e s e n d yo u t h e a d d r e s s ! I ’v e g o t t o r u n n o w ” - h e r b o d y l e a n s i n f o r a h u g. I t t a k e s a second for my brain to respond: a hug still feels s o m e h o w a w k w a r d , e v e n a f t e r t h e v a c c i n e. C ov i d definitely has more effect on all of us than we r e a l i z e. M a i a w av e s g o o d bye a n d h e r g r o u p d i s a p p e a r s b e h i n d t h e r e d r e s t a u r a n t d o o r. “ I l i k e M a i a , ” - a n i m a g e o f a s m i l i n g, g e n u i n e g i r l p o p s i n m y m i n d . I c a n’ t i m a g i n e h e r n o t s m i l i n g. “ L e t ’s m a k e s u r e w e h e a r h e r s i n g t o m o r r o w n i g h t , ye s ? ” ... “ I t h i n k i t ’s M i k e, i s n’ t i t ? , - B o b by ’s e ye s f o l l o w m y g a z e. “ Ye p ! I t s u r e i s ” , - m y a n s w e r d r o w n s a m o n g t h e s u r r o u n d i n g s . B o b by ’s c a m e r a i s c l i c k i n g w i t h t h e s p e e d o f l i g h t . T h e m a r k e t i s f i l l e d w i t h p e o p l e, live music, food stations and craft kiosks. So many yo u n g p e o p l e t o o . “Lots of Americans here”, - my words are barely a u d i b l e a m o n g t h e l i v e l y n o i s e. H e a d t u r n s t o w a r d s B o b by : “ L e t ’s g o s e e t h e a p a r t m e n t h e w a s talking about and pick up the key”... …5 second is all I need to understand that this place is not going to work. There is no logical exp l a n a t i o n e x c e p t f o r a n ov e r b e a r i n g h e av y f e e l i n g a n d w o r r y t h a t ’s e s c a l a t i n g by t h e s e c o n d . E v e r y inter nal alar m is screaming “caution” on my internal “safety radar”. I t m a k e s n o s e n s e. My mind is split between the two.
O n o n e h a n d , M i k e s e e m s n i c e. E x c e p t f o r t h e f i r s t d a y, h e i s m o r e t h a n p l e a s a n t t o b e a r o u n d . O n t h e o t h e r h a n d … i s h e t o o p l e a s a n t ? To o n i c e ? Overly eager to be workable? T h o u g h t s a r e r a c i n g a h e a d o f e a c h o t h e r. U n s e t tled and confused, my brain is trying to refocus o n a c o nv e r s a t i o n . M i k e i s t e l l i n g B o b by s o m e t h i n g. M y e a r s t u n e i n . “ Yo u c a n c h e c k o u t a t a n y t i m e Fr i d a y. T h e r e a r e g u e s t s t h a t a r e c o m i n g, b u t yo u c a n l e av e yo u r bags in the room downstairs, and then just drop o f f t h e k e y t o t h a t r o o m a f t e r yo u p i c k u p yo u r b a g s . O r yo u c a n d r o p t h e m o f f b e f o r e w e g o d i v i n g i n t h e m o r n i n g ” , - M i k e ’s s m i l e r i g h t n o w d o e s n’ t s e e m t o b e h a l f a s g e n u i n e s o m e h o w. T h e conscious part of my brain attempts to step in and r e a s o n . C a n’ t l e t e m o t i o n s r u l e ov e r l o g i c . H e i s p r o b a b l y j u s t t i r e d . I t ’s n i g h t t i m e a f t e r a l l . “ O h , h e y. L e t m e i n t r o d u c e yo u t o o n e o f m y p a r t ners”, - my head tur ns the direction where Mike is l o o k i n g. A w o m a n , p r o b a b l y i n h e r e a r l y f o r t i e s , i s walking up the stairs. “ G u e s s w h a t . Yo u h av e s o m e t h i n g i n c o m m o n . S h e has 6 kids”, - The attempt for enthusiasm from M i k e d o e s n’ t s t i c k . S o m e t h i n g i s o f f . Ve r y o f f . Tw o m i n u t e s l a t e r a n d a s e m i - f a i l e d p o l i t e c o n versation makes one thing crystal clear: there is u n d e n i a b l e t e n s i o n a n d h e av i n e s s i n t h e a i r. M y l i p s m o u t h “ l e t ’s g o ” t o B o b by. A f e w m o r e s e c o n d s a n d w e a r e i n o u r c a r. “ T h o u g h t s ? ” , - B o b by ’s q u e s t i o n i s m o r e o f a f o r m a l i t y t h a n a n y t h i n g. We d o n’ t n e e d t o t a l k t o k n o w h e f e e l s t h e s a m e. “ I d o n’ t f e e l s a f e t h e r e. I t h a s a w e i r d v i b e. T h a t woman Mike introduced… something was very o f f a b o u t h e r. A n d h e r b r o t h e r, t o o . I d o n’ t w a n t t o s t a y t h e r e. ” - b o t h , m y c o n s c i o u s a n d s u b c o n scious are in definite agreement. M y f i n g e r s k e e p f i d d l i n g w i t h t h e p h o n e. E ye s c o n n e c t t o B o b by ’s . “ I a m g o i n g t o b o o k a d i f f e r e n t h o t e l . I d o n’ t f e e l safe”. “ We w i l l b o o k a d i f f e r e n t h o t e l t h e n . L e t ’s g o g e t some dinner first though. I’m hungry”, - a calming smile makes its way out of the cor ners of Bobby ’s l i p s . M y a g i t a t i o n i s s e t t l i n g d o w n . F i n g e r s t y p e i n t h e p a s s c o d e o n t h e p h o n e. L e t ’s s e e w h a t ’s av a i l a b l e o n b o o k i n g. c o m .
