25 YEARS OF
Last Word
Last Word
Neighborhoods are still some areas that could use help. One of them is the ‘Tourist Rail’ from I-64 to Busch Gardens. Our visitors are frequently less than caring about the roadsides along 199. The Adopt-a-Highway Program could use volunteers for more than one place around town. If you are looking for fresh air and exercise, check this program out. Your hometown will look better for it.” — March 25, 1995
Not so bad “I’m calling in regard to a comment on Ford’s Colony causing traffic problems. I would like to remind greater Williamsburg that our first sign of traffic problems came when Kingsmill was developed and interrupted the steady flow of traffic for Williamsburg residents going to work on Route 199.” — Jan. 28, 1987
Looking at junk “I live on Penniman Road. Williamsburg is spending a lot of money on Second Street to beautify and plant trees, build new sidewalks. And they are probably going to spend a couple hundred thousand dollars. Right behind Second Street, Penniman Road is starting to look like a junkyard. I feel ashamed for people who live on Penniman Road, having to drive by every day and look at junk all over.” Reed Nester, city planning director, said “The Second Street landscaping will cost no more than $40,000. The area the caller mentions is unsightly. It’s something we’re looking into.” — April 6, 1991
Red roof reaction “I can guarantee to all the environmentally conscious people of Kingsmill that 99.44% of the homeless people in Williamsburg and James City County wouldn’t be one bit concerned about the color of their neighbors’ roofs, that is, if they had a decent house to live in. Get real, Kingsmill. People are living in the woods, children are starving, oil wells are burning and causing environmental disaster that we have not even begun to realize the effects of. And you are worried about a red roof peeking through the foliage.” — April 17, 1991
Adopt-A-Highway “The Adopt-a-Highway Program does a fine job of keeping Williamsburg clean, but there
Kingsmill Express “To the Kingsmill resident who is confounded by traffic on Route 199 and needs an express lane: I have a better idea. Why not build a specific highway for Kingsmill residents? It can be called the KOV (Kingsmill Occupant Vehicle) road. Better yet, maybe a monorail system or private train to shuttle you to and from home would help you cope with nuisance traffic. I suspect VDOT is busy this time of year, so why not alert President Clinton, since he is a regular Kingsmill visitor? I’m sure he too has suffered long enough with the hideous traffic. I suspect he’ll get to it right after he gets the national health care legislation passed.” — June 3, 1995
Local real estate “When we were looking for a home in Williamsburg, our agent took us to the many large golfing communities. We purchased a home and are happy. However, I recently attended an open house in a small area called Graylin Woods and found it delightful. Local agents need to show prospective buyers all the areas available, not just the larger communities.” — Dec. 22, 2001
Vicious vandalism “On our way to church recently we noticed that six of the seven stop signs in Chickahominy Haven were down. Apparently, the people who did this have not been reading newspaper articles about the deaths on Centerville Road and Monticello Avenue. Spend more time reading the paper and less time vandalizing the neighborhood before someone gets seriously hurt.” — May 1, 2002
Where the rich live “Regarding the June 5 article ‘Where the very rich live,’ homeowners in the Vineyards are now cringing at a monstrous home under construction. What a nightmare.” — June 12, 2002
Fenced in “My husband and I purchased a home in Poplar Hall with a privacy fence for our dog. I can’t understand people who think they have the right to hang over our fence. One person told me that he and his small child were just looking, if I didn’t mind. Our Rottweiler weighs more than 100 pounds and is as tall as an adult when she stands on her hind feet. Our dogs are not in our yard for people to bother every time they take a stroll. I don’t want to see anyone get hurt.”
Suspicious activity “The government should name Williamsburg the national center for the new TIPS program to fight terrorists, where ordinary citizens would be trained to snoop on their neighbors and report suspicious activity. Having read many Last Word items, it is apparent that Williamsburg is uniquely qualified to administer this most important project for the sake of our nation.” — Aug. 3, 2002
— May 15, 1996
Pick up, please
Red roof “Colonial Williamsburg hasn’t said anything about the red roof on the Second Street McDonald’s. It is the city Architectural Review Board that is complaining about it. As for the split rail fence along Richmond Road, that’s an 18th century fence and is supposed to look the way it does. It is not dilapidated.” — July 11, 1998 49 - Twenty-five years of Last Word
“While leaving my subdivision recently, I observed one of my neighbors walking his dog. He had obviously just scooped up his dog’s business. I thought, ‘What a responsible dog owner.’ I was appalled to see the same man throwing what was in the pooper-scooper into a vacant lot between two homes. Picking up after your dog means taking it home with you and disposing of it properly.” — June 26, 2004
Peculiar
Last Word
across the interstate several miles ahead of me, acting in a very erratic manner. They were larger than an airplane, oval in shape, appeared to be aluminum-colored and to have yellow flames protruding from them in three different sections.”
Olympics coverage “I’ve been watching the Olympics, especially the swimming, and noticed that the swimmers tend to show a lot of teeth. I’m wondering if the chlorine in the water shrinks their gums.” — July 27, 1996
— Oct. 28, 1989
Missing pizza slice
Disclaimer lodged
Work to be done “On TV sporting events we can get an instant replay. Why can’t bagels be made a mite thinner so we could toast them in our toasters? We can travel several times faster than the speed of sound. We can add color to black and white movies; why can’t we outlaw plastic bags?” — Oct. 29, 1988
Happy Easter to you “We wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. This greeting comes to you from the Procrastinators Club.” — March 18, 1989
UFOs sighted
“The members of the Williamsburg Moose Lodge and the co-workers of the Women of the Moose chapter want it known that the fight that occurred at the Moose Lodge on Saturday, Jan 13, did not, repeat, did not occur at a Moose-related activity.” — Jan. 17, 1990
Sky portrait “Strange happenings in the air. I hope a lot of people were looking last week at a cloud over to the west shaped in the image of Abraham Lincoln with his hat off, his long beard and all. It just held there for a long while until a lot of us got a good look at it before it broke up and disappeared.” — March 14, 1990
“I’m calling to see if anybody else saw the three flying saucers that I spotted off Interstate 64 in the West Point area? While I was traveling eastbound on Interstate 64 heading toward Williamsburg on Sunday, Oct. 22 at about 3 p.m., I heard a loud noise first before I saw the flying saucers. I observed three of them traveling from south to north
More about gays “In reference to your article on gays hanging out at all the family parks, it is my belief that if there were any real men in the Williamsburg area there wouldn’t be any gays hanging around there after this weekend.”
“Regarding the item about a missing slice from two separate pizzas, some could say that instead of increasing prices pizza parlors have decided to use the marketing technique of slice reduction. The caller would have us believe that it was a random and statistically amazing incident. I think the caller should look into how the pizza is delivered. Maybe after placing the it on the counter and taking a moment to hang up a winter coat, his or her loving spouse or child quickly stole a serving.’” — Jan. 26, 2002
Festivus “My family and I had hoped that we would see more coverage of Festivus this year. Sadly, as in years past, Christmas, Hanukkah and Kwanzaa. I realized Festivus is still not widely celebrated, but an acknowledgment that it exists would be appreciated in the future. Perhaps some readers who celebrate Festivus could comment on this as well.” Our plans for Festivus coverage were canceled along with “Seinfeld,” which is where the fictitious holiday celebration originated.
— May 7, 1988
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50 - Twenty-five years of Last Word
— Jan. 5, 2000