Inggris: Emotional Abuse

Emotional Abuse

Oleh : Kholifatul Mufti L.P. | Desainer : Salsabilla Az-Zahra | Ilustrator : R. Satrya Bramantya

Has someone ever made fun of you or degrading you in front of other, and when you feel uncomfortable about their action, instead of apologize to you, they say that your out of base and being sensitive?

If that ever happened to you, than you might be trapped on ‘emotional abuse’.

According to the American Psychological Association, emotional abuse defines as a pattern of behaviour wherein someone repeatedly and deliberately harms others and overall well-being through non-physical acts. Emotional abuse is the consistent pattern of being treated unfairly over a period of time by the same person.

Emotional abuse is harder to spot but also easier to deny. So, here are some warning signs of emotional abuse!

As I said in the first paragraph, being degraded by someone frequently is one of the signs. Commonly, they will intimidate you on purpose and make you completely loss your confidence. For example, you remind your friend to stop eating junk food because she or he is already make a promise, but their reaction is out of base, and instead of thanking you for remain her, she or he talks back and intimidates you.

Second, when someone dominates or controls your life. In this sign, you’re not only feel controlled but also diminished by someone. For example, when you tell someone about your opinion and then they aren't accepting because they think your opinion is stupid, or unimportant. Every time you move, you feel that you are being dominated and you can't make a decision by yourself, then you are considered as a victim of emotional abuse. They think it was a good idea because they could easily control you when you madea mistake.

The next signs are accusing and blaming. If you have ever met someone who blame other too much for his or her mistake and refuse to apologize, then he or she might be an abuser. So, you should avoid them.

When someone has already done something bad to you, what will you do to them? are you going to remind them or you keep quiet and treat them like they don't exist? If you choose the second option, then its a bad option. It is the sign of emotional abuse and its not a normal type of punishment.

The last sign is codependency. Thats the sign of someone assuming you are the same as she or he, like you are their past. They will say, "I know what you have to do." Its look like the second sign, but it goes deeper inside. When they’re not studying for exam, skip the class so they force you to do the same thing. Why? because they are pretending like what they want. The ‘emotional abuser’ feels you are the same person like she or he, thats why they did it.

If you have had two or more signs above, then you are trapped on ‘emotional abuse’ without realizing. The question is what should we do then? you finally realize what was happening to you, you must speak up about it. Find another friend and tell him or her what you feel in your heart, because this is a serious matter. One thing you have to do is to be a firm person. If you don’t want or can't do it, say no. If you can or want it, say yes. Try to build your confidence and think that you are better than them. I mean you deserve better from everyone. If you realize that you are in an abusive relationship with your friend, soulmate or even your parents, take a deep breath and apologize to them.