Overfilled

OVERFILLED Exams. I have exams all day.

Sine. Cosine. Tangent. SOH-CAH-TOA. Sacagawea. She led Lewis and Clark across America.

America’s achieved independence on July 4th, 1776. D-day was on June 6th, 1944. General Custer let down Little Big Horn. Wasn’t he in Night at the Museum? Bill Hader played him. Bill Hader was also on SNL. That style of show was based off of Vaudeville variety shows. It’s been on for 40 years. Wait, wait, back to business. Sine is the opposite measurement then the hypotenuse of the triangle. Cosine is the adjacent measurement and then the hypotenuse. Tangent is the opposite and adjacent angles. Yeah! I’m getting this. Some Old Horse, Caught Another Horse, Tripping on Acid. I wonder what it’s like to be on acid. I could probably ask my chemistry teacher, which I also need to study for. Li? Lithium. He? Helium, duh. H? Hydrogen.

Hg? Mercury. Pb? Iron! English. What do I need to study for English? They’re going to ask the same stupid questions of ‘which answer BEST describes this excerpt?’ Facetious: treating serious topics with humor. Abhor: regard with disgust or hatred. Colloquial: not formal language, but everyday language. If I want to write an essay about spirituality, I can write about Crime and Punishment. There were lots of Christian symbols there. I could even pull something from Their Eyes Are Watching God. If it asked me about a character study, I could talk about As I Lay Dying.

Faulkner was all about that stream of consciousness when writing his characters. Ulysses also used stream of consciousness, but that was for the whole book. How does anyone make sense of that book? Wait, is English even my first exam? Nope, it’s math. Right, got it. There are three types of triangles: right, isosceles, and scalene. A right triangle angles can only be 45, 45, and 90.

You can also use Pythagorean Theorem to figure out a missing angle. Why do the order of operations have to be the most important thing? Please Excuse My Dear Aunt Sally. PEMDAS. Parenthesis, exponents, multiplication, division, addition, and subtraction. I’ve got this! All my exams are in the bag! I know everything I need to know about everything!

I get to my desk and my first exam is laid out in front of me. 100 questions to answer.

Blank.