Chapter Nine - Divine Relationships – A Soulmate

Part Two

Chapter Nine Divine Relationships – A Soulmate

“Our universe grants every soul a twin - a reflection of themselves - the kindred spirit – And no matter where they are or how far away, they are from each other - even if they are in different dimensions, they will always find one another. This is destiny; this is love.” — Julie Dillon

Dr. P. Madhurima Reddy

Who is a Soulmate?

Several people have defined the word 'Soulmate' in several different ways for nearly two centuries since the great English poet Samuel Taylor Coleridge first used the word in 1822. A soulmate is one who is a complete reflection of yourself in another form; someone with whom you feel a bond so strong that it appears almost unearthly. It is a bond one experiences with someone in such a way that no other relationship comes close. A soulmate is one who accepts you and you accept the person completely, in an understanding that can never fall apart. A soulmate while is usually considered romantic, can be of many ways; it can be one’s spouse, a live-in partner, a platonic relationship or can include a close friendship, and not necessarily of the opposite gender. A soulmate is someone in whom you visualize yourself and feel part of. Your soulmate actually completes you. It is a divine relationship that gives your life proper course and meaning. Did you ever experience such a closeness to someone? A someone with whom you feel close in every possible way, a someone who you feel has been born only for you? A someone who also thinks and feels the same of you? Someone you know will always be there for you and never leave you? Then you are most fortunate. Because you have already found your soulmate! Why is a Soulmate Important? Even if a person has lived all his life and has not been able to connect with anyone in such a bond, it is likely the person has never attempted to want one, and it is certain the person has never found happiness in life. A life without a soulmate may be an empty life that has not found the right degree of happiness or the required level of satisfaction. It is extremely important for one to have a soulmate in life, as such a partner can define your life, can add meaning to your life, add value to your life and lets you see things

in a more positive perspective. It is said that the universe creates a soulmate for everyone and in time we would be able to find ours. But in order to know who our soulmate is, we have to look for signs that communicate that he or she is just around. A soulmate can give you such happiness just by being around, even when everything in your life has temporarily failed. And that happiness will redouble your energy to fight for an even more successful life. Such is the role of a true soulmate.

“I seem to have loved you in numberless forms, numberless times… In life after life, in age after age, forever.”

— Rabindranath Tagore

Who is your soulmate? We are all connected by a divine force. We are the results of its intention. Just as we are inseparable from the cosmic energy and cosmic dust from which we were created, we share a connection with everything and everyone around us. There are no good people or bad people in our lives. Everyone whom we met and shared either a relationship or an association definitely have some impact on our lives. Whether good or bad, they leave us with experiences that have taught us something important, based on which we change our outlook of life, and strive to be better. But what if who you call the right person, who has all the attributes you wished for and always dreamt of, desired, yearned for, is just around you? What if you have not recognised the one who should matter to you? You may question where the person is! The truth could be that the person may have always been around. You may have just not recognised it! Why could you not recognise it? It is because you have not allowed your thoughts to accept that the person is around. You would have probably been thinking that you are not worth, or powerless to attract, or that you just don't have the right traits to

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draw people to you. When your mind is filled with these negative thoughts, it is impossible for the universe to act contrary to what you are thinking constantly. So even when the right subjects are being sent to you, you are choosing to ignore them purely by your resistance. You are not using your energies to actually manifest your ideal partner. But if you strongly believe in your intention of attracting the right partner, you will be able to see the world in a different and a more positive and colourful perspective. When you have faith, belief, and trust in your honest intention, the inevitable soon shows up. Just be willing to receive. And you surely will. There was this old friend of mine who was enamoured by one of my female colleagues. He always spoke respectfully of her, would try to draw her attention, choosing to be most helpful in her work, always at her side, and supporting her in team meetings and even personally. He would be the first to wish her, place flowers on her table each day, shower her with gifts and demonstrated such goodness that people would be dumbstruck with his devotion, which sometimes also worried and perhaps annoyed her. Though she enjoyed his attention the lady never reciprocated his affection, choosing to believe it was her right to be so treated, because she hailed from a rich family and was good looking, but looked down upon him with conceit and disapproval, all the while accepting his gifts. She later confessed to me that she did not like the man, though she did not have any valid reasons not to like him. He was a senior, better paid, handsome and had all the qualities that every woman would wish for, though not from as rich a family as her. She simply could not accept him, the way he wanted to be. This went on for two years without any positive result for the man. In time her parents began to look for matches for her and when the news came to him, instead of being disappointed, he simply smiled and said that he believed in the power of his intention and if they

were noble, she would definitely be his. And he believed it with such strength that sometimes people would find it laughable the way he believed it and how contrarily she treated him. Though her parents found several matches, none of them matched the quality she desired. Finally, when several colleagues spoke to her and told her that he was one of the most deserving men ever, and that her life would be definitely meaningful with him, she began to develop a more positive and receptive attitude towards him. In time his efforts paid off, and the two were united in wedlock, being accepted by both their families. With two grown up children now, and successful entrepreneurs, they remain one of the happiest couples, I have seen. His intention and focus were very clear from the beginning, and he never faltered in his belief that she would inevitably be his. The power of his faith was so great that even though she could not bring herself to like him, eventually she did.

Several years later when I met her again, I asked her how she changed into accepting him. She said that she was unclear in her own mind at that time and had only negative thoughts. She felt too superior to everyone and could not bring herself to marry a man who was not too rich. But when she allowed her arrogance and dislike of him to dissipate, she realised what a great mistake it would have been if she had rejected him. In other words, this is just one example of how powerful your belief can be and how your intent can manifest and make you realise what you have always dreamt of. A soulmate can be anyone who is close to you, with whom you can relate at the highest level; someone beyond whom you cannot see anyone or anything else. When there is complete trust, affection, understanding and respect for each other, without expectations, the very person may be your soulmate, that one person who would always stand by you, no matter what. However,

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your soulmate may just be around the corner, and you may have not even realised it. The universe keeps sending signals of your soulmate and if you are looking for your soulmate, you must endeavour to identify them and understand them, and follow them. Eventually when you do, you will find your soulmate and can lead a fulfilling life. Characteristics of your Soulmate • Someone who shares your interests, aspirations, goals, visions, and ideas.

• Someone who has similar likes and dislikes.

• Someone with whom you feel an instant connect. • Someone in whose presence you feel most safe, secure, and comfortable.

• Someone with whom you feel extremely happy and always desire to be with.

• Someone who is never jealous of you. • Someone who never judges you. • Someone who respects your opinions though who may differ with you occasionally, and is transparent, and honest with you in everything. • Someone in whose presence you never feel threatened or intimidated.

• Someone who doesn’t question your intentions or decisions but supports you in each and every aspect of your life. • Someone who knows your flaws and accepts them instead of questioning them. • Someone who knows your strengths and weaknesses and

always encourages you to overcome your weaknesses and helps you do it. • Someone who knows immediately if you are in any kind of pain or discomfort and goes out of the way to ensure your pain is reduced. • Someone who can actually visualize your own thoughts.

Someone who gives you complete peace and satisfaction. • Someone with whom you can feel completely free and boundless.

• Someone who gives and shows you a purpose of life. • Someone who shares both your pain and pleasure. • Someone who loves you infinitely. However, your soulmate need not necessarily be a romantic partner, though most of us do find a higher degree of satisfaction in such relationships. A soulmate can also be a friend who shares most of your traits, your ideas, your goals, and is unquestioningly willing to stand by you, come what may. In case you are now looking for your soulmate, it is time you begin manifesting one. The universe will help you if you simply follow the symptoms and signals it is sending you across. You may have met the person long back, and perhaps you just could not recognise it. Who is Not your Soulmate? First and foremost, the law of attraction says that you cannot target a certain individual and expect only that specific person to be your soulmate. You may like the person, love the person, or do everything that makes him or her happy. But the universe doesn't guarantee that the individual will be your soulmate. It is a matter of free will of an individual upon whom you cannot impose.

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It is however likely that with your honest and genuine efforts you may invite the attention of the person or even make the person fall in love with you, but unless the person reciprocates your interest mutually, within a reasonable span of time, it is fruitless to pursue such an individual. Rather you must look for other signs from other people that will indeed direct you to your true soulmate.

Also, if a person is so obsessed with an individual and uses his or her power to make them surrender by force or gratification, such a relationship is never fulfilling, nor would it signify any happiness in their lives. Even though such relationships do occur all the time, they are filled with toxicity and unhappiness often leading to some catastrophe. No one must ever compel an individual to be coerced into a relationship. Such partners can never be soulmates. We constantly see broken relationships, or one-sided afflictions which cause disasters. Trying to force, or oblige, or coax a person into a relationship can rarely give successful results.

Let us understand that no one is absolutely perfect in any way. It is impossible, unjustifiable, and even unfair to expect a partner who is perfect in every sense. We ourselves may be imperfect in several ways that we don't even know. As such, for a relationship to truly work, there should be a strong compatibility of values between partners. Howsoever close two partners may be, it is not possible to accept each other’s views and opinions all the time.

Having similar backgrounds socially, professionally, and financially, sharing similar likes and dislikes, having similar tastes, eating habits, viewing issues in a similar perspective, sharing similar habits and hobbies, sharing similar opinions, perceptions and perspectives and such things which are common between partners, go a long way in keeping a relationship well nurtured, strong, and

steady. For a relationship to last, if the degree of compatibility is high, absorbing, and flexible, it definitely continues to remain strong and can weather even moderate conflict in the relationship. How Can You Find Your Soulmate?

Instead of making your intention subjective, i.e. making someone a target, you may take actions that can steer your desires in the direction of your soulmate, who need not necessarily be the person you may have expected to be so. However, most positive actions lead to successful results when your intention is honest, sincere and without expectations. Your relentless endeavours to connect to the person of your choice may still bear fruit, if you are able to make the person see how much he or she matters to you and to what extent you are willing to go to reach them. There are few measures that you can take that can inevitably yield positive results leading you to your perfect partner, your ultimate soulmate. What greater thing is there for two human souls than to feel that they are joined to strengthen each other, to be at one with each other in silent unspeakable memories.

–– George Eliot

When you actually have decided to find your soulmate, these aspects are important:

1. Have a genuine intention The power of intention is such that it will lead you to act in the direction of your goal. Your intention will enable you to create a roadmap towards your goal. Write down your intentions and organise your actions as to where to start, how to proceed, watch out for obstacles in your path, find the strength to move forward and consequently you will attain your goal. Once you charter down your plan, you will begin to understand where you stand and what

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you should do to gain strength and overcome any impediments across your path. Faith, belief, persistence, and determination will ensure your intention rewards you in the right manner. 2. Trust your instincts and your intuitions The first thing that happens to you when you are in the vicinity of your soulmate, is that you would begin to have intuitions about the individual. It could be someone you work with, a relative, a childhood friend, a classmate, or just someone you met somewhere. Your interactions with the person often give you a gut feeling, whether the person is going to be part of your life. Trust your instincts, since they are the first signs the universe is sending you. When you feel happy, comfortable, energized and even intimate when you are interacting with an individual, you are possibly being drawn towards each other. All further steps you take may be based on this intuition. 3. You become best friends

Like attracts like, is the chief principle of Law of Attraction. Constant interactions between people with similar interests and likes will lead to developing relationships. When you understand each other on a deeper level, converse frequently, meet each other, go out often, and help each other, you are laying the foundations for a strong relationship. Becoming best friends is one of them. Soulmates are always the best friends, between whom there is perfect harmony, joy and understanding. 4. You respect each other Respect for each other becomes critical in your search for your soulmate. Once you have found someone whom you might wish to get close to, you will begin to develop a lot of respect for each other. Once you begin to respect likes, dislikes, opinions, ideologies, goals, aspirations, interests, etc., your understanding of each other

becomes stronger and adds commendable value to the bonding. And this becomes a valuable step in your search for your soulmate. 5. You share your vision One of the key factors in developing a great relationship is when you realise that you have shared values and ambitions. Once both of you have a common goal and begin to realise that you can count on each other for support in pursuing that goal, you will find your bonding growing more intense. If you do not have the same vision, it is unlikely that the relationship will progress further. When you meet someone who thinks, acts, and does things like you, you are already on the path of finding your ultimate partner. 6. You challenge each other Partners who respect each other should work to identify mutual weaknesses in each other and challenge each other to get the best of themselves. In discussing these openly, you are giving each other a chance for mutual support and personal development and growth. Genuinely concerned partners should strive to allow their partners to move out of their comfort zones and venture to further their careers and their lives. This leads to gratitude in the future and is a constant reminder of the understanding you mutually have. 7. You resolve differences and fight for the relationship Conflict is integral to any relationship, even of soulmates. In the path to life, you are bound to experience hurdles, which could be in the form of financial, familial, health, work, or something else. Sometimes partners may find elements of mutual discord on these aspects. But together when both of you struggle and fight these obstacles, you will find that you have greater strength together, showing that you are keen on making your relationship last rather than allow your individual egos to disrupt the relationship. True soulmates always fight for the relationship and that is how find each other. Learning not to be judgemental of your partner and learning

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to forgive each other even when wrong, will strengthen mutual trust and respect. All trying times in life for us, are the ones that show the true power of a relationship, and when we look back upon them in the future, our bonds with our partners only get stronger. 8. Desire to be together No partners can always be together 24/7, due to various reasons, even if sharing a common residence or otherwise. It is about striking a proper balance between being with each other and being away from each other. Here mutual trust and faith are essential aspects. Being away from each other can still cause factors such as jealousy, suspicion, or anxiety to creep in. When partners enjoy quality time together, and openly discuss their obligations for being away for a certain period, it gives scope for a stronger relationship and the bonding can weather all rough times and temporary separations through such strong mutual trust. 9. Being transparent An extremely important part of a relationship is the ability of the partners to be mutually honest with each other. A lack of transparency between partners can lead to serious discord ruining any relationship. Being open, honest, frank, and unpretentious with your partner are essential to keep a relationship as strong as possible. It can be a profound factor in developing stronger intimacy with each other as it is a demonstration of the trust you mutually have of each other. True soulmates have the highest degree of transparency between them which becomes a strong basis for a lasting relationship, even for a lifetime. 10. Being grateful This is one of the strongest aspects of any relationship. When you are grateful to everything that has happened to you, and to

everyone whom you have met in your life, things will begin to move in your favour. Gratitude is the greatest force in the universe. When you show thankfulness to your being, to everything around, in your thoughts and your actions, you draw tremendous power from the universe, that makes you even more stronger in every possible way. Be grateful not just for the good things that happened to you, but even for setbacks, disappointments, bitter moments, for they have taught you something valuable. It is from such moments that we learn more of life and the people we live among, and that should be cause enough for your gratitude. Your gratitude displayed in your attitude will be simply magnetic and soon someone will come your way and make you complete. Divine Relationships Divine relationships should be based on You + Me = One. It is about being completely together, as One Team, not You Versus Me. It may be soulmates, partners, friends, or family members. It is only thence that a relationship becomes divine. The relationship thus becomes almost sacred, completely dedicated to mutual support, aspiring towards each other's elevation in all aspects of life. It can define itself through its profoundness of spirituality, mysticism, and energy, transcending into a love of impeccable order. In order to sustain and grow a healthy relationship, there are certain mandatory rules which must be followed by all: 1. Understanding importance of expressions between partners. 2. Discuss how you feel about each other regularly. 3. Invest quality time on your relationship. 4. Nurture your relationship through demonstrating that you care for your partner. Small things as remembering your

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partner’s birthday, favourite food, actor, colour, music, travel experiences; showing genuine concern for an issue and helping it ease down, and several such things can strengthen a relationship considerably. 5. Allow for more discussions than debates.

6. Have a more and genuine kinaesthetic approach through a sense of touch to your partner, such as hugs, pecks, and such things as an expression of the language of love. These touches must be with a pure intention and can be between partners, friends, parents and children, siblings etc.

You will know that it is your soulmate only when that someone makes you begin to question and see things in a different light, and completely changes your reality, unlike never before, and perhaps never after. It is an experience like no other you have felt; it’s so revolutionising and possessing and you will feel that, you are being recreated, because of that someone

— Dr. P. Madhurima Reddy

Dr. P. Madhurima Reddy