Polit ekonomikuri satira 3 emzar jgerenaia eng

EMZAR JGERENAIA

It is dedicated to the memory of my father.

He could not return to Abkhazia in this world!

Political – Economic Satire – 3

Tbilisi, 2016 -1-

332 page Tbilisi, 2016

Was published by the Non – government Organization Free Economy and Business Institute

Autor E. Jgerenaia, TSU Professor, PhD Political – Economic Satire – 3 The above paper – Political – Economic Satire – 3 has presented a publicist analysis of economic problems for the last ten years. It should be noted that the paper describes not only scientific view, analysis of economic problems (which is a red line running through the society which is at the border of transformation) which our society has faced during this period but light humorous cartoon as well. Here you can find the contours of certain economic history, dialect and humour of various problematic economic issues.

The delicate bar – column of the orginality of the paper represents the complex trial of intercrossing economy and humour and it is given in the form of blogs.

EDITORS: Ivane Javakhishvili Tbilisi State University Professor

David Narmania Ivane Javakhishvili Tbilisi State University Professor Eka Lekashvili

TECHNICAL EDITORS: Sophiko Sitchinava, Nino Arveladze, Nana Jgerenaia, Maka Ghaniashvili DESIGN: Nana Jomidava CORRECTORS: Sophiko Sitchinava, Khatuna Gvelesiani, Nino Uchava

You can send your suggestions and notes to the following e-mail address: emzari6@gmail.com Web site: www.emzari.ge

ISBN 978 – 9941-0-8869-8 (Geo.) ISBN 978-9941-0-8830-8 (Eng.)

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I Edition 2004., Tbilisi II Edition 2009., Tbilisi III Edition 2016., Tbilisi

CONTENTS PREFACE TO THE THIRD EDITION.................................................................. 8

INTRODUCTION FOR THE SECOND EDITION............................................... 17 INTRODUCTION FOR 2004 EDITION............................................................... 21 ECONOMY MOVING STUBBORNLY TO ABYSS............................................ 25 GEORGIA IN DISORDER.................................................................................... 28 DIAGNOSIS........................................................................................................... 30 WEATHER OF ECONOMIC NATURE................................................................ 32 GENERAL, GENERAL .... MEETING................................................................. 38 DO NOT JUDGE AND YOU WILL NOT BE JUDGED...................................... 43 BREACH OF ANTIMONOPOLY LAW IN ELECTIONS.................................... 46 SHOW MUST GO ON........................................................................................... 48 CORRUPTION AS ECONOMIC CATEGORY..................................................... 51 SEPTEMBER......................................................................................................... 53 IT STARTED!......................................................................................................... 55 WHAT MAKES US HAPPY? - IS IT A HOPE?.................................................... 57 THE YEAR OF GOAT IS A YEAR OF CATACLYSMS....................................... 59 CRUSADE AGAINST LEGAL BUSINESS.......................................................... 62 EVERYTHING WILL BE ALL RIGHT................................................................. 66 IRAQ RESCUED, WHAT ABOUT US?................................................................ 68 THE FORMULA IS FOUND!................................................................................ 69 PLATO AND WE.................................................................................................... 71 THE COUNTRY GOT ROTTEN........................................................................... 73 GEORGIA IS LEFT!.............................................................................................. 74 DON’T WORRY, BE HAPPY! DON’T WORRY, “HAPPY” NATION............................................................................................... 77 WHAT SHOULD WE HOPE FOR?....................................................................... 80 AM(E)N-ESTY....................................................................................................... 81 MY, OUR OR SOMEBODY ELSE’S GEORGIA................................................. 84 THEORY OF TAXING THE DEAD...................................................................... 86 STORY OF A GEORGIAN WASP AND ECONOMIC SPACE OR GEORGIA FOR SALE.................................................................................... 89 THE THEORY OF THE GEORGIAN CONCEPT OF FREE ASPHALT AND EMPLOYMENT ....................................................................... 92 WITHOUT GODFATHERS................................................................................... 95 ABOUT “HENPECKING” ECONOMIC CATEGORY........................................ 98 CONTEMPORARY MODERNISTIC THEATRE OR SHOW CALLED “TENDER PERFORMANCE”........................................... 102 COUNTRY OF PROFESSORS AD PHILOSOPHERS......................................... 104 2005 - IS A YEAR OF UPTURNS?....................................................................... 106 STORY ABOUT MEDEA’S TRAGEDY AND JONJOLI INDEX........................ 108 GEORGIANS HAVE INVENTED A NEW WEAPON......................................... 111 ABOUT GEORGIAN OIL BUSINESS AND OPEC WAR................................... 114 ADVERTISMENT MIRACLES IN GEORGIA OR

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EVERYTHING IS POSSIBLE IN THIS COUNTRY............................................ 117 IN REMEMBRANCE OF ACADEMICIAN VASIL CHANTLADZE...................................................................................................... 119 MURPHY LAW ..................................................................................................... 123 ALCHEMISTS OR WHAT IS TWICE TWO........................................................ 125 BLESSED NOTARIES OR HOW 15 000 IS EQUAL TO 30 000 AND 140 000 ............................................................................................. 128 WHY WE ARE MORE CATHOLICS THAN THE POPE, OR WHY INDEPENDENT LEGISLATORS DO NOT UNDERSTAND GEORGIA.................................................................................. 129 PECULIARITIES OF THE LAW ADOPTED HAVING A NEW YEAR HANGOVER AND THE PROBLEMS OF PROTECTION OF THOSE CRAPULENT IN GEORGIA DURING THE TRANSITIONAL PERIOD.................................................................................... 131 THE CRISIS OF KANT’S THEORY AND THE REALITIES OF MODERN ECONOMY IN GEORGIA............................................................ 133 THE PROBLEMS OF SEASONALITY AND SELECTIVITY OF LAWS OPERATING IN GEORGIA, OR WHY THE MINISTER OF ECONOMY WILL BE ARRESTED AND WHEN GOBEJISHVILI WILL BE IN PRISON................................................... 135 GEORGIAN PECULIARITIES OF WESTERN ECONOMIC VALUABLES OR VAKE PIGLET TASIKO’S CHARM AND WHAT TENDER MEANS..................................................................................... 138 PRESS AS AN ECONOMIC PHENOMENON AND ITS PECULIARITY IN THE TRANSITIONAL PERIOD.................................. 141 WHY CONCEAL IT FROM YOU AND THE GEORGIAN CONSULTING BUSINESS................................................................................... 144 TEA AND PEOPLE, OR THE ADVANTAGE OF THE “FAST TEA” THEORY......................................................................................... 146 THE TREASURE THE KAZAKHS BOUGHT AND THE PLEASURE TBILISIANS LOSE – WHAT A PITY..................................... 148 WHAT IS “URODA” OR WHO IS “URODA” .................................................... 151 THE FOUNDER OF THE GEORGIAN PR (EURIPIDES).................................. 154 KARMA - CLEAN THE KARMA IN THE NEW YEAR..................................... 156 HERE IS THE STORY OF INDIAN-RUSSIAN KHINKALI AND KEBAB, OR WHAT DO WE NEED HASSP FOR?................................... 158 COMPLETELY EXCLUSIVE – CONCERNING THE INVASION OF EXTRATERRESTRIAL OR ALIEN ECONOMISTS AND THEIR SECRET ACTIVITIES.......................................... 162 KEYNES FROM KUTAISI OR WHAT MISTAKES MADE BY JOHN FOUND GEORGIAN SCHOLAR ECONOMISTS................ 165 WHO HAS STOLEN THE SPRING?.................................................................... 168 “BE WHAT YOU ARE” – NIETZSCHE, THUS

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SPAKE ZARATHUSTRA....................................................................................... 171 ABOUT SOCIAL-ECONOMIC ASPECTS OF COCA-COLA BUSINESS IN HI-TECH EPOCH................................................. 173 “TELASI” IMMORTALS OF SEN SIMON, FURIES AND OWEN OR KOJORI VARIATION OF PARIS COMMUNE........ 176 THEORETICAL ASPECTS OF HOSPITALITY AND WHETHER VAZHA-PSHAVELA WAS OR NOT THE FOUNDER OF ECONOMY SCHOOL..................................................................................... 180 LET’S ABOLISH ANNOYING INFLATION, IT’S HOPPING AND JUMPING........................................................................... 183 HOW HAS NEUROSIS BECOME AN ECONOMIC CATEGORY?.......................................................................................................... 185 HOW WE DEFEATED LAPLAND IN JOKER.................................................... 187 HOW I FLOODED AUSTRALIA, HOW THE VERY FIRST ELECTIONS TOOK PLACE, OR WHY DON JUAN WAS THE FOUNDING FATHER OF MULTI- STEP MARKETING.......................................................................... 189 MUNICIPAL SERVICE OF CLEANING AND BUSINESS CLEANING, OR CLEANING BUSINESS...................................... 194 BADRI IN HISTORICAL HOMELAND OF THE TURKISH............................. 198 THE MEDICI EFFECT AND GEL FUTURE EXCHANGE RATE THIS IS A STORY OF SHAKIRA’S SONGS AND SHREK’S SMILE.................................................... 201 “IN THE LONG TERM WE ARE ALL DEAD”- JOHN MAYNARD KEYNES.......................................................................................... 207 ANNIVERSARY OF THE SUN, THE GREATEST LOGISTIC TASK OF HUMANITY AND THE GEORGIANS’ ROLE IN BURYING THE SUN OR WHY GEORGIA WILL NOT BE RUSSIA’S NEIGHBOUR...................................................................... 209 DID HUMANS EVOLVE FORM MONKEYS’ ANCESTOR OR VICE VERSA?........................................................................... 213 MONETARISM IS DEAD, KEYNES HAS RISEN AND HE IS WITH US! THE WAY OUT OF CRISIS IS ALREADY FOUND – IT GOES ACROSS THE BRIDGE........................................................................................ 216 PUBLIC DEFAULT................................................................................................ 220 “EXPERIENCE AND HISTORY TEACHES US – NATIONS AND GOVERNMENTS LEARN NOTHING FROM HISTORY!” GEORGE WILHELM FRIEDRICH HEGEL....................................................... 220 CRISIS SYMPHONY AND CACOPHONY EXPECTATION GEORGIAN PARAMETERS OF EDGEWORTH BOX FROM EMPIRICAL STANDPOINT........................... 222 HOW CICERO EVALUATED MODERN

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GEORGIAN SITUATION AND WHY CRISIS DOESN’T WANT TO TALK WITH US.................................................................................. 225 WHAT IS LASHING?............................................................................................ 228 MINISTERS’ HANGOVER AND ECONOMIC STABILITY............................................................................................................ 231 CHANGES IN THE THEORY OF EXCHANGE ANALYSIS AND CONSTANT BULL TREND.................................................... 234 ECONOMICS ASPECTS OF HARD DRINKING AND NEW WAY OUT OF CRISIS........................................................................ 237 HOW CAUCASUS ONLINE BECAME CAUCASUS OFFLINE IN GEORGIA AND WHY WOMEN ARE DOMINATING IN WORLD ECONOMY................................... 241 WORLD CRISIS AND IN SEARCH OF INNOVATORY AND HISTORICAL ROLE OF GEORGIA AT THE BOTTOM.......................... 243 CHRISTMAS TREE OF WORLD DEBTS AND POOR TIGER IN CAPTIVITY OF SCHUMPETER’S THEORY.................................... 246 CAUSE AND EFFECT RELATION BETWEEN CLIMATE CHANGE AND THAT OF BOTH WITH THE ECONOMY.............. 250 WHY KEYNES SHOULD BE RESPONSIBLE FOR CONSTRUCTION OF THE OVERHEAD ROAD AT THE SQUARE OF HEROES IN TBILISI........................................... 253 MONDAY SYNDROME........................................................................................ 256 ELECTIONS AND COMMUNISM....................................................................... 258 WHO SUPPORTS US, OR STORY ABOUT IMMIGRANT GEORGIA AND REMAINED GEORGIANS............................... 260 WE ARE AHEAD OF OUR TIME AND ACCOMPLISH A MIRACLE.......................................................................................................... 263 RE-EXPORT OF RUSSIAN WOMEN AND IMPORT OF RUSSIAN WIVES............................................................................................ 265 VAT CONTENT IN KHACHAPURI WITH MILLET AND PARAMETERS OF THE EDGEWORTH BOX FOR THE NEW YEAR FEAST – UNSEEN COMPETITION................... 267 WHAT WAS THE HARM TO HEGEL DUE TO LACK OF KNOWLEDGE IN GEORGIAN TAX CODE...................................................................................... 269 HOW WE DISOBEY EUROPE AND WHY GEORGIA CAN NOT RECEIVE THE SCHOOL LEAVING CERTIFICATE............................................................ 271 WHY SMITH, MARX AND LINCOLN HAVE FOUND THEMSELVES AT THE URGENT ASSISTANCE DEPARTMENT OF THE REPUBLIC HOSPITAL TOGETHER WITH GIGI...................................................................................... 274 WORLD HAS CHANGED ................................................................................... 278 TSKALTUBO MOON IS ABSENT, ECONOMY IS OUT .................................. 280

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WHY DID KHORENA BRING TO LIFE MALTUS IN BAKURIANI, WHO HAS BEEN KILLED BY CHICAGO SCHOOL AND HOW LADY GAGA HAS BECOME AN ECONOMIC CATEGORY .................................................. 282 WHAT WE LIKED IN SINGAPORE DO NOT LIKE IN AGMASHENEBELI ........................................................................................ 287 PROBLEMS OF MONKEY TRANSFORMATION AND CORRUPTION COMBATING IN THE MODERN IMPUDENCE ART EPOCH.............................................................. 291 HOW ECONOMIC THEORIES ARE BEING DEMOLISHED TOGETHER WITH GUDAURI-KOBI ROAD AND WHAT ARE THE TALKS AT THE MARKET ................................................................. 294 WHAT RESEARCH IS FUNDED WITH 17 BILLION BY APPLE? .......................................................................................... 296 UH! DON’T YOU SEE WHERE IS THE HEAD OF ALL THE PROBLEMS?! I.E. ECONOMIC PROBLEMS IN COSMIC PRISM ........................................................................ 299 WHAT HAPPENED TO EUROPE? BARROSO APPEARS TO BE YOUNG MAOIST, HOLLANDE – REACTIONARY, I.E. WHY DON’T WE BECOME MEMBERS OF THE EUROPEAN UNION AND WHAT KILLED THE HORSE OF MERAB NATCHKEBIA ................................................................... 302 RETURN THE SUN TO US AND TAKE THE CITY PARK TO HELL..................................................................................................... 306 MAYOR WAS CAUGHT ...................................................................................... 309 HERE IS THE STORY OF ALTERNATE, INCLUSIVE ARISTOCRATIC MODEL OF RESCUING GEORGIAN ECONOMY AND GEORGIAN WORN WAY OF MAKING MONEY I.E. GOD SAVE US! ............................................................................ 312 PROBLEM OF THE BACKGROUND AND MUTUAL ASSESSMENT IN THE ECO-POLITICS OF GEORGIA.................................... 316 STRANGE SHADES OF GEORGIAN GREEN MOVEMENT, OR HOW GREEN IS AT THE SAME TIME BLACK, RED, YELLOW AND EVEN MOTLEY........................................................................................... 319 ABOUT THE REGULARITIES OF STENDHAL’S DEATH OF SYPHILIS AND ECONOMIC PARADIGMS OF CONTEMPORARY GEORGIA, OR FOR WHICH POLITICIAN IT WOULD BE ADEQUATE TO DIE OF EBOLA.................................................................. 320 WHAT IS THE PRICE OF LOVE, OR THE LAW IN THE EMPTINESS ABOUT EMPTINESS FOR THE EMPTY COUNTRY.............................................................................................................. 323 SIMILARITIES OF SINGAPORE AND THE IDEA OF GEORGIAN MANHATTAN....................................................................................................... 326 ANGLERS HAVE DEFEATED BANKERS..........................................................330

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PREFACE TO THE THIRD EDITION Welcome! The time has come and we have assembled again.

Seven years ago, the reader got introduced to the second edition.

This is not the mere 7 years – this is the whole epoch for Georgia. Not only because that during 2012 – 2013 years, one ideology – dominance of the Nationals was changed by the dominance of the Georgian Dream but because the world has changed completely and we are still expecting change.

It’s worth saying that we, the Georgians are no longer looking for a golden cradle at the bottom of the Bazaleti Lake, nor Medea, in our national consciousness we are trying to search the world’s most famous Georgian and his return to Georgia. Moreover, we don’t even know whether the image or a picture of the most famous Georgian exists that we have not exhibited but we neither boast by the murder of Ilia nor with the fact that Baratashvili became cold due to our indifference and besides, we have not found the tomb of Rustaveli till now! So, there is the progress!

13.7 billion years have passed (according to scientists) since the great explosion and the universe barely got the today’s image though we have not found out so far how it happened. We, the last free state of Georgia have existed for a total of 25 years and it’s natural that we cannot find out what we want and how we want. The number one economist of modernization Thomas Pickett1 writes “... The main purpose of Kuznets Curve (which claims that the imbalance/ gap between the levels of society gets much smaller, the more this society develops)2 is to leave the developing countries at the orbit of the free world” – we have 1 Piketty T. Capital In The Twenty-First Century, The Belknap Press Of Harvard University Press 2 Kuznets S. Economic Growth And Income Inequality, P. 12-18

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more or less solved this task today. In addition, we acquired the world function (it depends on at what expense but still we did) and still we are terribly unsatisfied.

You look back and it turns out that real 25 years have passed (but after the great explosion and according to the measure of physicists, even a second has not passed), once again we have a free country and are involved in building the state. However, even after these 25 years, we are still facing the issue of being the state. They take away either one part or another from us but we are still again! Amiran unchained himself and broke through the rock, with his pinched, tattered chest he deeply breathed in the air saturated with incense – candle, besotted by the scream of Kolkhi mother of the kidnapped child and saturated with a -9-

neighbor’s vodka and slowly went to the direction of his haven – to Europe. The ground under his feet was given to fire, Aeetes Bulls were woken up and made them attack him. Dizzy and poisoned Medea was made kill her brother and step her father’s neck full of royal dignity, finally she was made kill her children with enchanted hands! And what kind of children? – all great, distinguished men! Their body looked like a Colchis oak, height – eucalyptus, flexible like Abkhazian plane tree and shouldered like Kartli chestnut and ... still, Amiran goes ahead as well as Georgia – ahead, to freedom.

He does not stop and does not stop the Satan! Then from him was taken away his lover, the sky was covered with black clouds and disappeared the mid sun, his day was broken and his eyilids became wet. His bloody tears were falling like hail, eyes dried and biting his tongue bitterly! Blood filled his mouth but he did not complain. His face wrinkled like the slopes of Caucasian mountains and still he did not move away from the direction he had chosen!

This pain, running for 25 years, gave it some experience and taught it how to evaluate the enemy and well-wisher, it realized which direction to move but could not totally understand, how. It is difficult to learn diplomacy in 25 years, national thinking, war, distinguish of the right and wrong and fight against the devil. It did not understand what it loses, finds and what the happiness is.

As Kant writes... “the imperatives of reasonableness would completely coincide with the imperatives of capability and it would be exactly as analytical if it were so easy to define the concept of happiness. In reality, in this case, it would be possible to say: those who want to gain the aim, also want to use (must be in compliance with the mind) all the facilities which - 10 -

are at their disposal to gain it. However, unfortunately, the concept of happiness is such an indefinite term that every person wants to achieve happiness and say what he wants.

The reason for this lies in the fact that all the elements that belong to the concept of happiness, is of empirical nature”.

That’s why we, the Georgians cannot decide on – what kind of Georgia we would like to have...3 Moreover, we cannot realize and understand that the economy is the foundation of everything, that’s the economy what metropolises were interested in earlier and today as well. And today, for a small, developing and young Georgia, the circular paradigm under the strong “gaze” of Russia – Turkey – Iran, should be created in a particular and original individuality!

Therefore, on the one hand, we obtained the free trade Agreement with Europe as a reference for building the future economic system and visa –free travel in Europe and on the other hand – always a difficult relationship with the neighboring country with a multi – million population.

Civil war and burned Abkhazia and Samegrelo ... Tskhinvali and Tbilisi! Raids of bandits and parade of special agents. The generation lost in crisis – starvation – darkness and millions of Georgians gone abroad for earning money, as well as the fee that we have paid for freedom and hope ... the hope that someday we will become a member state of NATO! The manifest of Zviadists for independence and scars of April 9 on the chest. Thinking about whether we had a more peaceful way. Shevardnadze’s rule, appearance of state institutions and paraphernalia – introduction of Lari, building the banking financial system and establishment of the military or law enforcement 3 Immanuel Kant, Fundamentals of Metaphysics Spirituality, p. 192, Moscow, 1999

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institutions, international recognition and creation of economic lines. Return of international function and Baku – Ceyhan pipeline, withdrawal of Russian troops from Akhaltsikhe, Batumi, Tskhinvali, Abkhazia. All of us, probably clearly remember the black and white plots of this film as well as the return of Russia in 2008. The history about it will be written later, it’s just a pity how mockingly some of our fellows watch this disaster and how they saw and how patiently and delicately the European looked at this epic.

On Saturday, April 9, 2016 “ISET” was visited by Norwegian young people. The director of ISET Eric Livny and Jacques Fleury4 hosted them.

4 Jacques Fleury started his career as a consulting manager. He has held various senior management positions in food industry in Iran, Morocco, Egypt, Greece, Ukraine, Russia and Georgia. In 1997 – 2009 Fleure was the Head of IDS-Borjom. In 1997, the shareholders of “Borjomi” invested $3 million, after the reorganization of the company and dealing with various challenges in that period, by 2012 the value of the company, from 3 million USD increased by 500 million USD. In 2002 Jacques Fleury, togather with Georgian partners established “Chateau Mukhrani”, the company restored Mukhrani products which, at present, integrate modern and traditional technologies. Today, Jacques Fleury is the director of “Chateau Mukhrani”. He is also the member of the board of the Association “Georgian Wine” and since 2014 – member of International School of Economics (ISET). Jacques Fleure has graduated from the University of Paris and London School of Economics.

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Jacques told the students that he arrived in Georgia in 1996 for the first time and he encountered only one car driving to the opposite direction on the highway of Tbilisi – Borjomi. Hardly, he reached Borjomi and started to work with Georgian friends (Mamuka Khazaradze’s team) in the country where there was no natural gas, electricity and water. He began water business with European, modern standards, he also started building European business institution. Factory – where everything was destroyed, where bandits and uniformed unknown people were in charge of everything, where one truch could barely be loaded with the well known water – Borjomi.

Jacques and his family’s attitude was amazing – “When I called at home or connected them through telex, there was no other means of communication that time – he recalls – my wife knew that as I am calling, this means that I have electricity and if I have electricity, so we can pump water as well, today I will have a bath and sleep bathed!” (You can imagine the evaluation of Europeans about such country) “at night everything was full of darkness and here and there you could here the sound of “Kalashnikov” which broke the sky, the sound reached up to the canyon, towards Bakuriani. The country was trying to escape from the primitive chaos” – said Jacques. “-Of course, the country, in which the Minister’s salary was 100 USD and the pension – 10USD, got involved in corruption completely, both ordinary and elite” – he said, raising his eyes toward the ceiling and sank into distant memories – “No! No corruption! It was survive! Everybody tried to save himself and family as they could!” “In such circumstances, we started building a new Georgia with my friends Mamuka Khazaradze, Badri Japaridze and others and now... tomorrow you will come!”- he addressed to the guests – - 13 -

“with us and see the first miracle, Georgian history and modern European business – Chateau Mukhrani and Borjomi new plant which is the etalon of correct modern management and investment, useful application of national resources, revitalization of history and care for national roots... This is the synthesis of modern global business with deep Georgian identity by maintaining its traditions!”

As Jacques said, “they managed it! This particular business – anthology has been formed by Khazaradze and his team and European – Georgian cooperation. You must overturn corruption by the development of economy, transparency, attraction of investments and increase of local entrepreneurs”. Patriotism does not mean anti globalization and being European does not mean to lose Georgian spirit. The whole power lies in the synthesis, which according to Jacques, he and his friends under Mamuka Khazaradze’s leadership have done. To be a state means to move and act, build and introduce innovations and relevance of time.

It’s surprising how beautifully the foreigner sees this which in most cases we don’t see – sorrow chokes us and can’t appreciate ours or we appreciate it so excessively that we think as if the history of Georgia had started in 2003!

However, Georgia is firmly following the way where now Amiran is stepping with his wounds, tattered bloody chest. The devil continues his tricks and Amiran – his way!

During Saakashvili period, they started counting from 2003 in a country of three thousands years which, of course, was not right. Jacques saw the history of our country much better than Saakashvili and his chroniclers, in 2008, due to his mistakes, the Russian troops came back again, they destroyed Amiran’s body again, cut different parts of the body! Then there came the crisis - 14 -

and change. Georgian Dream and lots of hope. But the direction to which Amiran was going is firm and unchanged. Many are trying to speculate and relate the European Azimuths to their names (for example, if I am not there, the country will stray from the European road) but No! This is the people’s choice.

Politicians always need the icon of an enemy, white and black, since the period of Pharaohs to the present, they emphasize their exclusiveness and missionary work in order to be forgiven for the wrong behavior and deception under whcih they are covered.

The reality is one thing – that does not exist in the mentality of people, it won’t be developed and that, what already exists, it can’t be removed. We are totally Europeans and Amiran is also going to this direction where they could neither break him and make change his direction for thousands of years nor they will make him change it now.

We are talking exactly about this way in the new edition. Politicians sometimes liked the way of Singapore and sometimes Hong Kong but Georgia has its own choice and way. It is neither Singapore nor Liechtenstein, it is Georgia (!!!), European Georgia and it also has its own image, body and soul. It is doomed, doomed yes ... for victory! But when? We should decide this together.

Elections are approaching, festival of lies begin and I remembered one joke: “At the office two friends, Beshe and Shakro are talking: - our friend Nachkebia is a big liar! But he is a fair man.

Beshe said: - How can a liar be fair? – very simply, said Shakro – he lies to everyone regardless! So here we expose everyone and everything in satirical language that prevents the construction of the foundation of our country’s economy and its integration in European market in order not to let anyone lie us and build the - 15 -

country!

It will ease your everyday life before the elections! We do not change the style and in satirical mood, provide our readers the problems saturated with bitter, economic defects and their solutions. It is difficult to track your eye along the countless number of boring economic theses and problems, so I try to mix humor with it which I think is more acceptable, it is clearly visible and makes us move forward.

PhD, TSU Professor Emzari Jgerenaia Easter, 2016

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INTRODUCTION FOR THE SECOND EDITION First edition of Political economic satire found its way to the hearts of the readers pretty soon. It is said that economics is complicated and boring subject. It is not twofaced and double- natured; instead it has many faces and many hands like Buddha. Even economists do not trust each other and thus one cannot two economists praising each other in the whole world. This especially might be said about Georgia. Everybody, here is inborn fathers of economics and experts of final instance (though nobody have ever seen them to be in a relation with mothers of economy).

Have you though that I would say priest? No, this word is not fashionable in Georgia any more. Now it is in fashion to say – experts. Therefore, we have experts in abundance and we hatch young experts by color, size and purpose like chickens. Moreover, we included wonders of genetic engineering and achieved brilliant success - we hatch experts of high breeding. The case even came down to cloning of some celebrated experts. Thus, the same expert is successfully working in various fields by means of clones. Georgia is a country of experts, revolutions and economic ratings. In recent years, I have been cooperating with foreigners. I am a representative of ABLOY, Saint-Gobain corp. (Weber-Vetonit) in Caucasus.

So, I frequently have to travel in Europe and Southern Caucasus.

Everybody is going mad and claim that they have never seen an economy written on the paper. We overshadowed Singapore in ratings, but we drop behind with Nicaragua in consumption level and volume of market, together with CPI and PPI indices! They are asking the same – where are your economists? I’m fed up with you!- I told them. In response they told me an anecdote: “Three hunters were boasting of their booties. One said that recently he caught such a big fish that the head was in the end of village and - 17 -

tail was in the beginning. When it came to evisceration, we called people from metro construction.” The second hunter said: “Once I went in a grove for hunting after rabbits and while I was chasing them, suddenly I saw a deer. I shot and killed it. I was dragging the deer and suddenly I saw ranger Jorjoliani. He wanted to arrest me.

What could I do, I shot him too. Now I was dragging both of them and I met patrolling Tamaz Alania. He also wanted to arrest me and thus I had no choice but to kill him. Now I was dragging all of them near Aragvi bank and I saw bus full of tourists near Tsitelsofeli, they were going to Bejana to eat Mtsvadi (Georgian national dish). Suddenly third hunter shouted to the first one, Temur Kurashvili – Shorten your fish or Nabucco pipe, or Natchkebia will kill whole bus of tourists.

So, foreigners advised to shorten our ratings. However, we cannot do this – as it is our style!

People say he is a cool boy, but... and then it begins: those who know nothing about debit-credit are criticizing our knowledge of accounting. Those who were made to repeat a year three times, criticize our manner of writing, or those who appropriated student’s yearly essay and claimed that it was his scientific work. The truth is one – in economics and politics, the more they criticize you the tougher you are. Recall “One Hundred Years of Solitude” by Marquez. People are born and then disappear and nobody notices this even in their homes. Naturally some of them create epoch and bullets and slush are aimed at them! – Nobody shoots a quail, until it flies away, a poet said once. However, this beautiful bird has never changed its mind about flying away. It has beautiful and brave nature, so it lives in the field, fusses and keeps own household, just like economists. Just like quail, economists fly away when they feel that it’s necessary to do this. We have been walking in the fields - 18 -

already ten years. During these times, we searched, wrote, tried to fly away. They were praising, criticizing, and slandering us. We fell and rise again. We had hard times – but we have never cried and always said our say.

Five years have passed since first publishing of the book and I decided to lay it before you, my readers once again, and thus see how far we have ability of foretelling. How far our thinking and economic laboratory are close to the truth. One thing is obvious – people and time are wise and fair. Time will put everything in its own place, this might be painful and delayed but this will happen anyway. I tried to say something new, and I added new letter to old ones. I tried to make my friends laugh and you decide whether I succeeded in this or not. I am ready for criticism.

I have never pronounced eulogy on somebody. Some people claim that I did. I am interested when and where? Oh, you do not know exactly? But, there is no sun without shadow and I am not innocent either. I am an ordinary economist; sometimes I boast with my achievements; I have my enemies, slander, truth and ethnicity. I do not want nation’s spirit and identity to be sacrificed to globalization. I neither want these things to become obstacles on the way of nations’ development at globalization arena. Recently, I was reading book by my favorite author, economist and journalist, Robert Heilbroner - The Worldly Philosophers. The book has second title also – life and activities of greatest economist-thinkers.

Robert says that economists have never ruled armies, they have never been commanders-in-chief or emperors, they have never sent people to scaffolds, and they have never been heroes of history textbooks. However, empires and continents were destroyed because of their actions. Sometimes they toppled down heads of the - 19 -

states and sometimes they ascended them. Upon their call, one class of a society confronted another, one nation confronted another. All this happened not because of their plans, cruelty or evilness, but because of strength of their cosmic ideas. Robert reckons that economists are like shadows of the past. Even alive, they live behind the scenes; they think, create models and carry out experiments on society without their awareness. They are preparing revolution and tsunami, like the recent crisis.

Robert says – “There is a saying that economics doubtlessly is an important science, ruled and not very attractive. This idea is not true. Those who think this way, forget that economics leads people to barricades. Economy creates nameless and strong party that cannot be bribed; one cannot compromise or punish it”. The same – that happens in Georgia is a result of economics.

“Theories of great economists changed the world and their mistakes appeared to be disastrous for mankind” – I reckon that these words of Heilbroner are all-time and universal. These words are actual especially for Georgia, at every stage of reformatory, postreformatory and anti-reformatory phases during last 15 years. I have been lecturing at Tbilisi State University for twenty years.

Therefore, I was moving in economists’ circle during this period.

All the time, I was hearing endless claims: a) If the things were going well for politicians and for people (I even do not remember such times), they were claiming that economists know nothing. If the things were going bad everybody was asking – b) where are economists?! This phrase has no time or homeland. So, economists of whole world have the same fate – they are trusted by halves and fully blamed! That’s cool! That is why economists are fed up to be in this position. So tragedy grew into comedy and we got satire.

In this way, people better understand boring issues or researches - 20 -

of economists. They cry, laugh, sometimes they call me and tell me that they really enjoyed the reading. So, for me this is my Oscar and Nobel. This is the prize and praise of researcher. If, in these interesting times, I managed to ease tension of your nervous system strained like strings of Chonguri (Georgian national musical instrument) and you enjoyed it, well I thank God, my aim is reached.

Entrust to Robert, economics is not such a boring thing at all.

Associate Professor at Business and Economics department of Tbilisi State University Ph.D Emzar Jgerenaia P.S. And the last thing, I recalled Keynes’ words –Practical men, (famous businessmen) who reckon that they are not influenced intellectually, as a rule are slaves of some celebrated economist of the past. John Maynard Keynes, The General Theory Of Employment, Interest and Money, p. 383

- 21 -

INTRODUCTION FOR 2004 EDITION Georgians are fantastic people: they have everything special and unique – country, language, writing, consciousness, mentality and state building style. We have made three revolutions in a short space of time. For 200 years people sodden with Russia’s colonial and communist filth (we beg our pardon to communists and Russians) have done their best to turn within 15-20 years into prosperous and flourishing free Europeans to the innermost of their hearts – both from economic and political point of view. We are truly worth Genius, but here the most serious and important thing is economic and political metamorphosis the direct result of which should be free market, free economy and free, really free Georgian citizen. It is an axiom and there is nothing new and innovative in it unless we mention one trait in Georgian character – all Georgians have inborn knowledge of everything, all Georgians are born kings, ministers, managers, businessmen and scientists. We are particularly strong in economics, politics let alone general education and mutual respect.

One of my friends Jemal Inaishvili told me about a certain person who asked him for sponsorship of his book in the amount of 1000 laris. He was very surprised when looking through the manuscript he saw that the title of the book was “The way of making business and earning money”. Then he inquired about the person’s occupation. The author replied he was almost unemployed. Mr. Jemal asked him whether he had ever had any business. The author answered that his business was writing.

Such are people – they cannot raise 1000 laris, but they teach others how to earn 100 000.

Is it not a wonder? Yet, it is nothing. I know a person who issues 6- 7 books a year; it is as difficult to count his monographs as sand in seas or stars in the sky. In his books he describes peculiarities and technology of hedgers in Nasdaq stock exchanges, yet his - 22 -

life has always been confined to Saburtalo, one of Tbilisi districts and even now he thinks that computers are the devil’s malicious intent. Perhaps, it is a charisma and we cannot do without it. It is such a reality as many of those who day and night speak on market economy as one of real salvation ways, but at the same time all of our other postulates are Bolshevik-leftist ones. We grew up in the epoch when abusinessman was called a shop superintendent and he was also a thief, when a trader was called merchant Mejganuashvili1 or huckster, when there was time of “anonymous letters” and complaint books, when we did not have our own face. Hence, for the fifteen years our internal mental metamorphosis has been very important behind the wild outburst of revolutions, criminality and politics. It has developed very slowly and still it has gradually moved towards the western world vision. We have reread Smith’s books and realized that a human being was but a knot of passions.

We are skeptical towards private things, but still we have taken them for granted. Difficult as it was, but we gave a spur to business and we have even started giving a thought to democracy and civil society.

When in 1997 the bellow of the cannon abated and economy embarked on its development way, I and my friends, who are members of the editorial board of journal “Macro-Micro Economics”, made an arena of economic thought, sort of discussion club or agency that brought together economic science (that still exists in Georgia, no matter whether it is good or bad), analytics, world experience and debate, dispute – how could we pass the 40 years to the Land of Promise, how could we endure Mosaic desert without losing our way of life and face so that to enter into the narrow integration together with world’s developed markets and, what is more important, to change in a gradual, but docile way our mentality, economic views and attitudes towards business and economic thought. The latter is more important as people in Georgia pay less - 23 -

attention to what economists say, but if something goes wrong in economy or social sphere, we do not hesitate to criticize them.

Apart from my job as an editor-in-chief of the journal, I have for eight years been fulfilling one important mission (or, perhaps, not so important). Each publication of the journal has a chief editor’s article where one small issue of the day is viewed only with tearmixed humour because along with a song it is the only thing that our nation has preserved. This very thing helped our nation to endure ordeals.

It is impossible to look at past year’s events in an entirely sober way. That is why we chose satire: my opponents might criticize me by saying that it does not look like satire in fibula and so on and so forth, but this is economic satire and I like it more. I have recently reread my 8 years works, and I had a feeling I was reading history or chronicles in economic and political sense. I enjoyed it much. I would like you to enjoy it, too. I want you to call to mind the events that led us to the present situation and to find out how long way we passed through Mosaic desert, whether we reached the Land of Promise where we, if not I, but at least my grandchildren – Lukacho and George – are sure to come to.

I have brought to your judgment everything I have thought about for eight years. Do not hesitate to judge me, do not spare me as I appreciate any ideas if it is an idea, and ideas are common to human in this world. Moreover, if they are free! To the innermost of heart, from thinking to behaviour, from policy to economy freedom is the greatest grace endowed on us by the Saviour.

Emzar Djgerenaia Christmas month 2004

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ECONOMY MOVING STUBBORNLY TO ABYSS This column has not appeared in our journal for a long time, because we thought that discussion and consideration of economic problems would exasperate and irritate my people who are already very exhausted with columns and theories. Yet, there is a multitude of problems that we do not even try to solve. We have the impression that we attend to another business; like a river, economics more and more disgorges towards the abyss.

Envy, demagogy and political mania intensified. Unemployment, obscurity and vagueness served to disturb people’s judgment so that they cannot make out who is right and who is wrong – can we find bread and justice by means of demagogy or by means of hard labour. Whom should they follow? – Those who promise correct and thorny way or those who proclaim “Hop and you are already in the paradise.” No, no, we still cannot learn sense. Perhaps, the people do not care who is right and who is wrong. Perhaps, they long for gas, electricity, peacefulness and work and do not care who is who in politics? They are mistaken herein. Good economic life and workplaces will not come by themselves like a season.

The people themselves create a society. As our saviour says, when a grain fell on the surface of good land, it grew rapidly, yet it became quickly sun-dried. The grain that fell deep into the thorns, grew hard and bloomed.

Where do Georgians have all this envy and feud? Everything is explicable, but deceiving people by demagogy and leading them towards the abyss – no!

The Georgians must get used to one thing – they themselves - 25 -

must struggle for the better future. Those, who promise to people future without need of working, sufferings and labour, lead them to abyss and to perpetual civil war. It already happened and there is nothing new in it! It is immoral to sacrifice people for this purpose – people who prefer a sweet fairy tale to the bitter truth. And the bitter truth is that on the day of economy no economist will appear before the Court with any doctrines. The bitter truth is that scientist-economists do not tolerate each other, and the government does not tolerate them. Non-economists say – where are you economists, the country is ruined. And economists say – non-economists give up the battlefield, let us save the country. Time flies in sophisticated polemics – and the crisis grows deeper.

There is a disorder in science. The precedent professorate does not want a new generation of specialists to grow up. In order to restrain the young they initiated multi-stage experts’ councils. We destroyed the USSR, but not the methods. We still like bureaucracy. It is to common knowledge that in our country many people have scientific degree just for fashion. They cannot even write an article or distin- guish one economic category from another, but they “defend” a thesis and become doctors or, to be more exact, theorists who try to instruct others. But will an article published by them become a filter in the ten international agencies. Of course, no! They will be able to achieve even this. The victims will be enthusiastic scientists and youth. Is there anything bad in wishing to become a doctor for image? Their works will help the people, society to make out who is who. This would be the fairest way. Is someone afraid of the young? Is anybody afraid of sound political ideas in Georgia? It is possible. The new generation is not what it used to be before. So, make way for them, attach priority to gift and business. In this hard time someone tries to destroy Georgian - 26 -

scientists – it is a shame!

There can be no talk of international abstracting now when in Moscow and Philadelphia abstracting costs 1200 dollars (post and other expenses). If you aspire to real recognition, you will need internet version and translation of publications into a foreign language, which will cost you even more. Our journal managed to do this and gave the chance to young scientists to make publication of their works (however, the experts’ council has not yet entered us on the register). The economic section has already submitted our journal for consideration. They will, probably, make a decision in October. Yet, how many of young scientist will be able to afford such a luxury?

And, yet, in these hard times anyone who is busy with books and work needs encouragement. No, we do have love for each other and for the country. We love only ourselves. The main thing for us is to achieve political victory. The most important for us is demagogy, superficial struggle with attempt to create an image of a spectacled, thin “honourable” person in this political filth. People?

What people? They are used to sufferance and patience. They will suffer again. They get used to everything so that they consider sequestration to be a necessary measure. Sequestration in last year, in this year, next year. People really think that three things are necessary – sequest- ration, tough reforms and struggle with corruption. People, eco- nomy? No one has any time for it. It is time for the Georgian to become self-confident and to learn the ways of constructing their country.

September, Year 2001

- 27 -

GEORGIA IN DISORDER Complete chaos in Georgia! We thought everything was going to be all right, but in reality, it failed to do so. We look at Bazaleti Lake and seek for a golden cradle. We are waiting for the Saviour.

We live without doing anything and hope that someone will create better life for us, will provide us with better future. No, we must not struggle ourselves. We spend time dreaming of easy life and follow the national ritual at Georgian table and on weak-ends. We drink for the country, children, for us, Georgians, and for real men. And who are these real men? No, I do not write any composition about Chav- chavadze’s creative works. I simply mean that we became indifferent to dead people, robbers, kidnappers and murderers. The way we blame the police. Where do all these robbers and bandits come from who prevent us from attending to real business and ensuring future for our country? The way we pat our relatives, friends and neighbours who rob and murder people. What can the police do when all the society stands up for robbers? When the Georgians do not care about others who are robbed and murdered thinking that this cup will pass them. Thieves and bandits are an authority with us. Georgia is the only country where mothers, wives and children are not ashamed of the fact that their close relative is a bandit and villain. We say - what else can we do, life is hard.

I really believe that if a cannibal had Mtsvadi he would not have eaten human meat. However, poverty is not an excuse. The Georgians should understand that they must not shut their eyes to evil; they must not conceal the truth. People prefer sweat lie, demagogue and populism. They do not want to see reality. We praise villain corrupted politicians as “decent honourable� boys. We are probably blind or we praise politicians just as much as they are useful for us.

- 28 -

And, last of all, do we really wish to create a civil society? Do we want our children to walk safely in the streets? Do we want to make our business safely? Let us break bureaucratic carton and the Chinese walls of the clans, let us make politicians serve the country. Yet, what do we do? - Nothing! All the time we criticize politicians and quietly watch people who are murdered and robbed just before our eyes. Yet, we refrain from reporting to the police because we are afraid of murderers. We do so, until misfortune befalls us. Then we begin complaining of the police. As Deil Carnegie once said, a man is ready to blame everyone but himself. We, too, put all the blame on the police because we can not blame ourselves. The God himself can not save a country where people do not even want “to stir a finger� to help themselves, not to mention police. Thanks God, there is the police. Otherwise, people would slaughter each other. Why is it so? It is because their morality is not good.

My favourite people!

We must build our country ourselves. We should not sit at the same table with bandits and drink toasts to real men; we should not shut our eyes to robbery and murder of our neighbours. No one will do our business for us. ...

Globalization is inevitable just as Noah flood and world integration, but our country is more important for us. Let us struggle against the evil!

On one golden October day, in the stone embankment people celebrated Tbilisoba. Bacchus held sway on the both sides of embankment. People enjoyed sounds of beautiful Georgian music.

Pain in the left side became more poignant, went by heart and stopped at the lungs. I prayed to God that we would become as united as now in business and in our devotion to the motherland.

October, Year 2001 - 29 -

DIAGNOSIS I am eager to please my readers on Christmas Eve and assure them that everything will be all right. Yet, they are waiting for something more but I cannot console them by anything. In the Y2001 the economic crisis has deepened, decrease in the production level exceeded 12%; the number of investments fell catastrophically.

Budget revenues have considerably decreased, too. The fiscal policy does not change and is still directed against business and entrepreneurs. We did not listen to the advice of our economic experts. Nor are we eager to listen to Balzerovich’s advice. There is still no single strategy and conception of economic development. Yet, we do not know what we really want. The Parliament dissolved the whole Government and then appointed the same government again in spite of the fact that a majority of deputies threatened that they would not appoint any of the former ministers. This was the end of the “amateur parliamentarianism� epoch in Georgia. Next year a new constitutional Parliament of two houses will be elected. And in spring shortly before the elections new ministers will come (of course, partly). So there will be no end to our emotions. Someone will drive students out into the streets (it is a demonstration of force in a way) or will set up a clamour in the Parliament. There is nothing surprising in it. It is a struggle for power, search for vector and pillar in a political sector.

No one will have any time to attend to economy in the background of the political horserace in 2002 - the year of government change and new elections). We will go on with the battle of reforms, a tacit struggle against the corruption and a populist horserace in this absurd world. Economic decline will serve as a background for these events. Financial state will gain pace and budget revenues will fall considerably as compared to the Y2001. Besides, the - 30 -

number of up- front sums in the budget has reached a catastrophic figure, which will certainly have an effect on the next year. There will be money and investment deficit, which will deepen inflation and deteriorate life standard. The tariff on energy power and public utilities will increase again.

The level of income will fall and the number of the unemployed will grow. The Georgian businessmen will be driven out of the sphere of small proprietorship (shops, restaurants) and social environment will deteriorate. Salaries of ministers and officials will drop and the temptation of corruption will increase still more.

Yet, we come to know that thousands of people in Georgia receive a grand award (ranging from 500 to 3000) in the form of grants.

However, the country cannot boast of their achievements. First of all, a decent man would declare openly what he needs this grant for; he would report of the achieved results. Secondly, it would be more useful to suspend the issue of grants to our young friends whose salaries are 30 times more than those of ministers and to issue these very grants to officials. Our state is unable to give high salaries to ministers. Yet, it is impossible to prevail over corruption otherwise. The only way out is what I have just offered. So, give up grants, gentlemen, in favour of ministers. With their incomes running into 2500-3000 thousand dollars a month, corruption will suffer a severe repulse and the executive branch will become more competent. Give up the Y2002 grants in favour of ministers and live on your 170 GEL. This will be a great help for the country.

What should we hope for in 2002? First, the wisdom of Georgian people that does not surrender to political provocation and is able to solve its own problems. Therefore, people start to adapt to the market economy. The self-preservation instinct will help them to find small sources of income and survive the next year catalyst. Sec- 31 -

ondly, western partners who care about us and start to implement gigantic projects on oil pipeline, which will result in the increase of work places and in the number of investments. This will not concern every Georgian, of course, but the Y2002 will be decisive for Georgia, on the whole. The pipeline will bring new investments for 2003-2004 and will save the nation from the world integration.

Thanks god – at least, the USA cares about us - and we have no time to do so ourselves.

So, my people, everything will be OK, God is gracious.

November, Year 2001

WEATHER OF ECONOMIC NATURE There is an unusually cold winter in Georgia, and what is more, it expanded its limits at the expense of two beautiful autumn months - October and November. There were very cold days in the end of September and in the beginning of October, which has gone on till now. It looks like winter is also going to include spring and its first month - March that is likely to be cold, too.The frost will not, probably, leave us till Easter.

Some people would, probably, ask, “What makes these economists worry about weather?” The matter is that economists associate coldness with diminishing abundance of energy supply. The frost has spread in both nature and economy. Therefore, economic activity and coldness are two harmonious processes. Nature and economy conspired against Georgia.

By the end of 2002, circulation of funds has decreased thrice.

Energy resources occupy 34% in the population’s basket of goods (oil, gas, electricity). Consumption goods (bread, sugar, potatoes) make up 56,0% . Communications (mobile telephones, transport) - 32 -

make up 10,0%. Consumption of light industry goods is 37% down on last year. At first sight, construction business seems to flourish. In reality, there is a deep crisis in this sphere, too. The source of this crisis is the so-called “black money” and the “gift” of our business- men to make their business “this way” hoping for the better future. People do not have money today, they will have far less tomorrow. Flats will be sold for nothing and afterwards, bargained away. New shops and restaurants are set up, but their profitableness equals 0. They (the owners) are not expecting profits yet, - they (excepting two or more) are just establishing a system.

The amount of (real) bank accounts is decreasing. We may regard M0 M1 as money indices. Yet, there is no money for fulfilling the function of bank accounts. There are no prospects that there will ever be money to invest in business.

There is nothing new in economy and what is more, the “Argentine syndrome” is becoming quite obvious. Our research has shown that income from a private business totals 0. Businessmen are losing economic stimulus. They pay their employees less and less so that the latter lose their work motivation. The greater part of their salary (60-150 GEL in private business) goes on transport - 30-40 GEL per month. It is more and more difficult to find a job. Six pensioners fall at one worker in our country whereas in developed countries 2.5-3.5 workers fall at one pensioner. Given this fact, there will always be indebtedness of pensions. Those who are employed now, lose their work motivation. No matter how much they work, their pensions will not increase. Moreover, the great part of superannuation funds (160- 180 mln. GEL) is filled by collaborators of state sector who receive their salaries from the state budget. It looks like the country takes money from one pocket and puts it into another.

Profitableness of trade and legal business is decreasing day by day - 33 -

and is unable to stand the growing “pressure of taxation”.Naturally this causes legal business to transform into illegal one, which serves to destroy economy. Unfortunately, illegality is the only way out for saving business. The state must save legal business, inure everyone ranging from petty street merchants to coaches, taxi drivers and ministers to legal life. Yet, the matter is only confined to talks and discussions.

The situation in the regions is getting worse and worse. Everything depends on agriculture here. The situation in agricultural business is much worse. Peasants’ productions does not reach consumers (buyers). There is a middleman between them who adds 30-50% to the value. For example, a peasant (farmer) sells his production at 3.8-4 GEL, a consumer buys it at 6.0 GEL with 50% extra charge.

This year price for meat is 50% up from last year. It cost 4 GEL + 10% of inflation. These testify to the 60% deterioration of buyers’ life standard. Despite it, a producer does not gain his money back, he does not have any economic stimulus. That is why grain, meat, poultry and grease production was 23.0-34.0% down on last year.

Among other things, import of this production has fallen considerably. Given the fact that a great part of population receives less than 1400-1500 calories, buyers’ health is placed under threat, too. They have crossed the poverty line. Percentagewise, this amount ranges from 35 to 55% (of all population).

Commodity turnover and production of electric power has considerably decreased. The principal part of the whole industry, except these two ones, falls at the share of food industry, non- alcoholic drinks and grain products. Export structure in 2001 that was built on metal, ore, aluminium and wood is a clear example of it. Added to this are investments from international organizations, which, naturally, become a reason of “Argentine syndrome”.

- 34 -

All this is influenced by stagnation in the world economy and economic downturn. An important thing is that freeze both in the economy and in the nature, is presented in the politics in the same proportion, or vice versa, economic icicles are huning down in politics due to freezing.

Nothing important will happen in the politics within next few years.There is no “strong” leader power. The present Parliament will not allow self-liquidation. There is a general awareness that there are political battles, small intrigues and the so-called “protest actions” with their participants standing before the microphones and demanding something unreal. One party plays up to the other and “launches operative measures”. This is the way the political establishment tries to recreate, and it is now waiting for regular holidays to go to Bakuriani or Gudauri, to the weather-beaten forests and hospitals.

The USA has appointed a new ambassador hoping that nothing will happen till he comes here. I call to mind a funny story that was popular in Brejnev’s times. Leonid Iliich travelled in a train. The train has suddenly stopped and he was told about it. Brejnev ordered: “Swing, pretend that you move.” Time flies. We are “swinging”. That is why we are so cold.

No, the year of horse does not make us happy. Can there be any talk of investments and production development with such a “lame” budget? We are waiting impatiently for the pipeline project to start working. Yet, investors can hardly trust the country that is stuck in crisis and social problems. They are at a loss.

However, in spite of such a difficult situation western countries still spend $200 million on Georgia. It is still helpful though not a single cent goes on our home industry. True, this assistance is provided for political aims only and implies concrete rights for en- 35 -

ergetic, trans- port and law-enforcement ministries. We agree to it without putting up any protests. It is criticized neither by Media nor by non- government organizations.

And here turns up our alternative “investor” - Tbilisi businessman, who is offended with us and who has escaped the dictatorship of the Russian Government, Badri Patarkatsishvili... A legend arises that he helps us to pay out debts for gas because he wants to put up “bill- boards” - advertisement hoarding - around the city. By the way, I would like to inform authors of the legends that city administration does not forbid it. Besides, “billboards” are imposed by high taxes that are difficult to evade. The main thing is not hoarding, but the question of what to stick to it. One may think that business is pros- perous in the country and that there are great queues for advertise- ment. It is, certainly, absurd! Or will the investment of money in the production of silk and wool in Georgia brings him great profit? Or, perhaps, “Dinamo” is radiant with world standard stars that one can sell in Europe and derive a profit from it? Moreover, we are afraid lest he should buy anything else. What are we afraid of? Will he shoulder it and take it somewhere? Are we really able to care for ourselves or does anyone try to deprive us of it?

When you have such a rival as Putin, you try to obtain a foothold in your country. Mr. Badri is not, probably, a “philanthropist”, but when you control world’s sixth-eighth firm, you try to create elementary conditions for your friends, classmates, neighbours in Tbilisi. Frozen Tbilisi can hardly be of someone’s interest as far as business is concerned. A decent businessman would not worry. Given the world scale, it would be funny to call him a “businessman”.

What is going on? Where does this disturbance wave against Patar- katsishvili come from? Why are the frozen city’s nerves so tickled? Mr. Badri is trying to make business! Will he really manage - 36 -

to do anything? Will he really create workplaces for thousands of people? Will he really manage to promote one of the branches? It is even more terrible if Mr. Badri will not be among our friends.

Mr. Badri does not need any apologetics at all. I remember him inviting some people from the USA, Europe and Georgia to dinner and asking, “What is going on in economy?” Why did the Georgian businessmen keep silent? Why were Georgian entrepreneurs so embittered? Why can not politicians understand that the only way out lays in real market values, in the eradication of bureaucracy and in the management of economy by means of economic methods?

We really have a unique country. What is the matter? Why do not we move forward? What is going on in economy? What can we do to help it?

He just asked, but the question generated many opponents. Why did he ask? What does it matter to him? What is the program?

What does his care for people mean? He thought that there could, probably, be some way out of this crisis - and, God forbid, one half of “nation’s children” will really “fly”...

We are like a dog in the manger. What are we afraid of? Perhaps, it is that this businessman is not our co-worker or our subordinate? God forbid!

There are frequent unusual cold days in Tbilisi. Tbilisi population became cold towards each other, too. People became querulous. They do nothing. Shares come in fashion because it is easier to get warm together. The main thing is that we are in full view of those who are on the top. Thus, we will not be able to bring any good...

December, Year 2001

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GENERAL, GENERAL .... MEETING I would like to make an apology for the late publication of the first magazine number in 2002. Yet, I would like to say that our magazine still keeps to its principles and ideals - despite the tension in the economic and political situation. As before, we try not to serve anyone’s interests, not to be anyone’s apologist, and we try to consider all viewpoints no matter whether they are radically different from our own one.

Scientific political pluralism is a credo of our existence. The magazine has been and it will serve as a stage for young economists and a tribune for famous scientific experts. We want to serve a worthy country - Georgia; the only and the most favourable country for us; the worthy, educated and cultural people in the whole world.

One “official” has lately been removed. He at once “rushed” to summon a “general meeting” of inhabitants of his region, then “general meeting” of inhabitants of my region (I am from Abkhazia).

There has recently been a “general meeting” of pedagogues. Now malicious gossips go about that there will be a “general meeting” of Parliament members, “meeting of religious minorities”, “meeting of reformers”, “meeting of peasants”, etc. Finally, there will be a “general meeting of all meetings”.

We turned Georgia into a country of meetings and demagogue.

Organizers of these very meetings are well aware that it is nothing else but show of strength. We must show the President and western countries that we have strength - and people will follow us. This is the main thing - we do not care about the problems of ordinary people. Moreover, this is no more but demagogy. No one speaks of real mechanism. Where can we raise additional dozens of millions for delegates of the meeting in such economic conditions?

We promise people to increase their salaries and pensions, to over- 38 -

come corruption and establish democracy - is it other but demagogy? On the other hand, we officially say, “we are not interested in business”. However, business and businessmen must interest us because, in reality, they feed the country. Any policy must serve business and businessmen!

It is a good thing when people wish to reach welfare at the expense of business, but not at the expense of bribes. If one does not care for better life, then what does he aim at? Why spending so much money? What is all this Pharisaism for? Capital is “worshipped” in the whole world. Yet, we proclaim bolshevist ideas with our left-wing orientation, words and business in Georgia.

According to the data of the World Bank, 522 millions of people in South Asia, 291 millions of people in Africa, 271 millions in East Asia, 78 millions in Latin America and 24 millions in Central and East Asia have income of less than 1 dollar per day. More than half of the world population (approximately 1 billion two hundred thousands) has income amounting to less than 60 GEL per month.

Yet, we want the minimal salary in Georgia to equal 80 GEL. Therefore, we mislead illegal economy to greater illegality. We are well aware that it is unreal in the given stage; we are well aware that business and private property in Georgia is not yet well developed.

So what? People still prefer sweet lie and we prefer votes.

Politics and business, moreover illegal business is inseparable.

Tell people about it! Tell them that events like “Enron” bankruptcy occur even in very democratic and civilized countries such as the USA. “Enron” is one of the largest gas traders in America that financed both Clinton and Bush and made money by means of purposeful machinations. This company has spent approximately 6 billion US dollars for the Congress Committees.

In 1989-2000, both parties have spent 10 billion dollars on elec- 39 -

tions. Where, in which country is “pure business” made? All of us remember corruption scandal in the Euro Commission. No one in Brussels is surprised at bribes. Three years ago the whole leadership of Euro Commission and the head of the Commission Jacque Saunter retired because of the Dutchman Paul Van Buite Enenli (he was the main accuser). Twenty thousands collaborators were accused of bribery then. Such scandal is now foreshadowed. The member of anti-corruption Council of Euro Commission, German Gabriel Stunner said in his interview that nothing has been changed in Euro Commission and bribery is still a usual thing there. Experts in education system discovered a non-existing contract financed by the Euro Commission. We do not try to defend anything. Yet, the only way of struggling with corruption is introduction of market economy principles, development of business and transparent regulation of economy and budget. There is no need in describing business as fire stripping Draco and businessman as a profiteer.

However, we do not want to have anything in common with the so-called business made by “the Red directors” and state officials that do not create anything new. After reaching the power, they start to delegate state functions to private firms. What a cynicism it is to tell people that you live on a salary of 140 GEL with you paying 50 GEL for electricity, 20 GEL for gas, 10 GEL for water, and 60 GEL for telephone? Do you mean that you eat nothing?

What a cynicism it is to promise pedagogues a real increase in salaries and pensions knowing the state of our economy. What a cynicism it is to blame someone that mass media created nervousness that made man commit a suicide whereas no one could excel you in casting aspersions on people that are not to your liking; no one could excel you in setting journalists at them. These are journalists of the “free channel” controlled by you. They describe you - 40 -

as an angel and all others as corrupted agents of Russia, enemies of the West and your own country. At the same time, you level with the ground those who are more superior, more decent and cleverer than you with the support of mass media. By doing so, you try to find favour in the eyes of the western friends so that they could see who really “destroys the country”, who has pro-Russian orientation and who I, “your noble knight”, fight with. Yet, you are ready to have all your political opponents eliminated, to drag your country through the mire, to inspire the Georgians with deficiency complex as if we are brute cannibals, cowards, corrupted and treacherous people.

If there were a chance, you would even blame the Almighty God in corruption by allegedly appealing to the discredit information. You will launch and finance such a campaign in press that would even make Jesus Christ go through crucifixion for a second time! Who are you, cynical directors? Are you the kind of people who think about one thing, say other things and do other ones?

Yet, it is a main game rule. It is a policy - the more virtuously you play and act as a Pharisee, the more success you will have in politics. Policy has its own purposes and people - it is just means of achieving them. I beg your pardon, gentlemen, if I showed up your rules. People need the truth! This truth must be imparted to them by those who have moral right to it. More than 80% population in Georgia as well as in all other developed countries of the world lives on illegal income. It has repeatedly been said. Therefore, talk about legal life must issue from you, but not from tax declarations.

These tax declarations are only aimed at paying off political scores. Even today we appeal to the names of our opponents without having any reason for it (with rare exception) just to show the West that these very people live illegally and that these very people - 41 -

are opponents of reforms. In view of it, we would like to remind you that in 1946 Barne Siegel founded Las-Vegas city with the population of 5 million people at the expense of Los-Angeles Mafia.

“Hilton Flamingo” founded by Barne Siegel brought him one thousand hundred millions’ worth profit. Just imagine how much he cont- ributed to the budget of Nevada State and federal budget. In that desert, all population was employed in services industry. This is the very West where “Watergate”, “Enron gate”, “Iran gate” and other Clinton’s donatives saw the light. We should not be cynical towards our own people - we should not publicly abuse things that we serve, things that are our life-style. We should abandon Pharisaism.

No one can excel us in casting aspersions on people, in making a mountain out of a molehill and in laying information on your own country to the West. I swear to God, you are incomparable alchemists.

Have mercy to people! This is the very people that wrote its history in golden letters even in time of misery and managed to live up till present days not by means of hostility and dissention, but thanks to the example of Tsotne Dadiani. God will punish you!

Freedom must not be a unilateral movement. I have not seen anyone who is preaching freedom and is loyal to criticism. On the contrary, if anyone criticizes freedom, he is either “corrupted” or he is a “spy”. Why is it so “dear” and “desirable” to us? Do you really need 1000 GEL of president salary? Abandon Pharisaism!

My reasonable people, way to salvation lies through conceptual, purposeful, strategic economic program, steady political will, tireless labour and torments, unification of whole nation in settling Abkha- zian issue and in the idea of creating market economy. If you chance to meet a Satan in your way to the Mosaic “land of - 42 -

promise”, who will try to tempt you into easy settlement of problems and into quick creation of Georgia, do not even listen to him, just drive him away,.

Georgia is a country of Pharisees and “general meetings”. The death of Nugzar Sajaia will probably help us to awaken. “Both the God and the land need blood of “Peculiar People”.-wrote K. Gamsakhurdia at the beginning of last century. Perhaps, someone shed this blood for us.

Georgian economy is more like a train that ran out of fuel and rushes forward along the rails without any brakes. It is in great difficulty now. Careful, my Pharisees, do not forget that you are in the same train, too. You might become a machinist of this train that will fall into abyss leaving rails and pipeline behind.

Georgia has been country of Pharisees and “general... general... meetings” up to now.

January, Year 2002

DO NOT JUDGE AND YOU WILL NOT BE JUDGED “No one is surprised at the oncoming of another spring. I say God knows, because no one knows when we started life or how many years ago we killed Abel. We certainly mean the first Abel, but not an ordinary Abel that, perhaps, dies each minute in this world. There- fore, people destined by the God to be Abels should be very careful, especially this spring. (Otar Chiladze, Abelum, page 22, 1995).How can one make money? It is a rhetoric question that has interested mankind for centuries and has finally reached Georgia. It is remark- able for its diversification of forms.

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Evil forces of the world are driven by envy and bile. It is a historically known fact that the poor hate the rich. He does not need to be acquainted with him at all: the ugly hate the beautiful, the silly hate the clever, the failures hate the fortunate, the short hate the tall, etc. Generally speaking, this bile causes revolutions, terror, and chaos. Fanatics start chaos and villains warm their hands on the consequences of it. True, a French thinker said these words two centuries ago, but they have become topical for Georgia now.

A reader will justly ask – what is all this philosophic scholasticism for? Such a variety of business as blackmail prospers in Georgia. Blackmail, demagogue is a main source of income in our country. With this purpose special organizations are formed with naive names: Truth Order and Freethinkers League and Georgian Bureau for saving dolphins or historical inheritance in the Zulu tribe. These blessed ones have their business in Georgia; they take grants and care for the light future. Yet, the main thing for us is not the “invest- igations” they conduct in their free time with regard to particular persons. It begins with this: pay this or that sum or I will tell everybody that you dug tunnel from Bombay to Madrid or that you were going to rape “English queen Elizabeth” or, rob the treasury of Peter I? What does it matter, I will say, - you just try to prove it. Someone will smile and say: “But there is court! I will respond with a phrase published in one of the publications of British edition “Mirror”. . Naomi Campbell considered this phrase insulting and applied to court. Six months later she won the lawsuit.

According to the legal decision a defendant had to pay the claimant 5000 thousand dollars in moral damages. Yet, Campbell spent 155 000 dollars for all. Thus, justice is worth quite much money. Our businessmen- blackmailers are aware of this. There is no other way.

Rapists are paid. They receive money as well as orders. Sometimes - 44 -

law enforce- ment structures get involved in this business – bring this or that sum of money, otherwise we will inform this or that agency that you took bribes, used your post for sordid purposes, did not cross the road correctly and gave a vulgar look at a neighbour’s wife. In other words, there is a multitude of topics. As always, representatives of criminal world are also involved in this business – “Guy, you did not greet the man in a right way 10 years ago...”. So Georgia became divided into two parts – blackmailers and blackmailed. What is the number of people employed in this business? A large part of elec- torate makes money in this way; the other part has the aims that we have already mentioned above. What should we do to bring over electorate? We should create chaos and set Georgians against each other. To tell one that he is Arsena and must deprive the rich of their property. But the poor - do they have to take everything for them- selves and have their revenge on their brother Abel. What if they do not obey? They are so embittered and hungry that they believe serials, imagine inheritance and amnesia everywhere. The unregis- tered property law, for which we are ready to make amendments in the Constitution, represents an attempt to set Cains and Morosovs on our own people, relatives and the whole country with the sole pur- pose of collecting political marks and satisfying ambitions. If we want to return property to the budget, we must pay 5% tax; eradicate discrimination between legal and natural persons and to clear 20000 dollars worth average flat from taxes. In these conditions property will return to budget in a legal way in approximately 100 years’ time. If we do not want the society to be divided into two parts, the chan- ges should concern it. What can we do? We need chaos and elec- torate! How can we raise money? By blackmail, certainly, blackmail and chaos! My dears, this business is popular now until we are caught and lose our - 45 -

fingers, tongues and tails.”All of us are guilty of everything. This is the sense of our existence. As all of us are guilty, we do not have the right to blame another person of anything, at least, of anything (Otar Chiladze, page 15, 1995).

February, Year 2002

BREACH OF ANTIMONOPOLY LAW IN ELECTIONS Georgia celebrates Easter with its rules and obligations once again. Electioneering starts again with people plunging into the cascade of promises. Irrespective of our wishes, market economy machine gains pace and rushes everybody – both high-ranking and ordinary people in an unknown direction. It is unknown because no one has azimuth that would bring Georgians to the Land of Promise. The Holy Land is seized with fire, Christ’s motherland is burning and the orthodox cannot get close to sanctities. During the elections to local self-government our people will not be able to get close to the real power. Compared to previous period, the difference is that the right to manipulate elections belonged to two political organizations, but now others can enjoy this privilege, too; the antimonopoly law will not be broken during the election fraud.

Nevertheless, it is a great achievement for us because competition will sharpen; political forces will try to play the role of “fervent and fair defenders of working people and helpless pensioners”. During this game, they will probably make some good deeds. Our people who constantly expect some changes and reforms do not need anything as much as their good deeds.

At this time, economy moves in a groove. The greatest burden lies on energy expenses. Everybody tries to “steal” energy by various methods as high electricity charges result increase of prices and - 46 -

decreases the buying ability of the population. Yet, this channel of theft gets limited on a daily basis; price of production and services rises. We forecasted 25% increase of consumer goods basket in the first quarter of 2002 as compared to the year 2001 indices, which affected gravely the common growth rate of trade and services and resulted in 18% decrease.

In the conditions of common economic boom, the first quarter was a period of real regression. As far as we know, economic activity declines. Added to this, are tense relations with Russia, lack of real and conceptual reforms. We have not only “folded” Georgia like a “napkin” from the institutional viewpoint of customs system, but also united Kazbegi with Vale, Lagodekhi with Tbilisi (I swear to God, we are alchemists), we want to reduce the current 18 kinds of taxes to 4 and we intend to create investment, hothouse and gift agency. Generally speaking, there is a complete stillness in economy, and we are in a “teasing” mood.

All this gives us the grounds to forecast that nothing will change in the second quarter and stagnation will not end. Is there anything new in it? – Nothing, only that contrasted with earlier periods, business will become expensive due to the energy payment, not to mention new rise in prices. Yet, life runs in a groove and economy moves forward. My well-informed reader will, probably, ask: “Forward, but where?” You’d better ask this question to political leaders before elections when they offer their programmes that are as similar to each other as two halves of an apple.

Yet, I would like to remind you something –Bismarck said that never people say as much lies as after hunting, during the war and before elections. You should have the patience of the Almighty, so get ready for it.

Easter is nearing again in our country. The Holy Land is seized - 47 -

with fire; sanctities are grieving. Elia Mountain has been endowed with God’s new grace as well as with flowers of almond tree. Let us pray because good deeds have been “postponed” till autumn. At least prays might heal our wounds.

March, Year 2002

SHOW MUST GO ON I hope that my reader has not felt bored of late. Yet, can it really be so with there being so many ongoing shows? On the one hand, it is football show in the form of world championship, on the other one - political show in the form of elections and, what is more important, permanent show of our day-to-day life that seems to be infinite and full of surprises like in “Santa Barbara”.

Could anyone think that France and Portugal would let us down like this and would make Japan and USA happy? Or that “Citizen’s Union” would be defeated by Nationalists and “Socialists” would be defeated by “Labourists”? Who would ever think that electricity would be provided on schedule after so many numerous downfalls, or that after such a triumphant implementation of budget plans, pensions and salaries would not be issued and consumer basket would increase by 49%.

Who could ever think that we would buy berry for 4 laris and meat for 6 laris in the middle of summer? No, we have not really expected it! To tell you the truth, what else could we expect from this lazy Zidan who imagined being the centre of the Universe?

What could we expect from this multimillion Figo or from politicians who forgot about policy, professionals and reality? Or, perhaps, their methods became outdated so they do not notice things going on in reality because like Zidan they imagined themselves to be the centre of the Universe. They try to make policy by threat- 48 -

ening people. They live on slogans during elections as well as after them.

Certainly, they can deceive people and care about their own well- being, but there is a limit to everything that prevents one from being entangled in the web of intrigues. You should remember that making someone do what he is not accustomed to do would turn him into your enemy as no one can be more wicked than a slave undeservedly dressed in a mantle of a free, educated and worthy Roman, the way a son who was given whole world by a loving father, killed his parent because he did not know what he did. Neither Figo nor Zidan appre- ciated laurels and glory that were prematurely conferred to them. Yet unknown and devoted Japanese and Koreans struggled in the field and pleased both people and their country.

Georgia is divided into eight parts: Ruling elite of all levels - 1%; Elite of the rich (politician business- men) - 3%; Ballast of politician-amateurs - 4%; Professional political demagogues - 6%; Criminals with and without shoulder straps - 5%; Nihilists - 1%; Discontent socialist-arsenist-revanchists - 50%; Kitchen politicians and more reserved people - 30%.

Recently held elections, anatomy of country’s economic develop- ment were a clear example of it. The problem of Georgian nation- hood is that its constructive force - kitchen politicians – thinks that a certain X would come and solve the problems they argue about in the kitchens. They cannot understand that they represent a main cons- tructive force of the country and if they do not start to 1) Create laws and respect them afterwards; 2) Build civil society, country, street (without it nothing would help us no matter how much we complain); 3) Create moral codeaccording to which people would not shake - 49 -

hands with thieves, deceivers, betrayers; 4) Respect other’s property, liberty and opinion.

We must do it ourselves, but not “see the speck in our brother’s eye”. We must do it slowly and gradually being inspired by the idea that each child of Georgia is able to save the country and habitants.

Constructive-salvage force of Georgia was first concentrated in the kitchen instead of coming to the foreground and forcing professional politicians to make policy that is useful for the country, only in this way can we discourage the rich elite to do “Monopolistic business”, to chain “criminals” and entertain ourselves by listening to the twitter of nihilists and amateurs. On behalf of the people that have three thousand years of history, I appeal to you with request not to miss the chance of building Georgian state and civil society, not to let the people of the world say that Georgians can only boast at tables, swear and live in slavery.

Heads of French and Portuguese teams will have to strictly reconsider places of their excited defenders - Zidan and Figo. I wonder what our politicians would do. Will they change their strategy until they have time or will they give up arena to the “kitchen” politicians? However, like Moulen Rouge, the show will go on in the world championship as well as in our policy and “Santa Barbara”.

May-June, Year 2002

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CORRUPTION AS ECONOMIC CATEGORY World economy is seized with serious crisis and oh, wonder, the reason of it is nothing more but corruption. Each foreign delegation that comes to Georgia sharply criticizes rampant corruption in our country and calls it a source of all our misfortunes. They criticize Georgia – the country with budget less than half a billion dollars and with its business being of consumer type as compared to world economic activity. As for the rest of the world, there is a real corruption there!

“WorldCom” alone boosted its assets by 80 billion dollars. This figure equals budget of Georgia for 160 years. What does this mean in human language: the company did not make it “for show”, but rather cheated investors i.e. simply speaking, people, millions of teachers, pensioners, etc. in the whole world who invested their savings in the company in order to keep their families and receive worthy pensions, but at what cost? The company boosted its incomes in order to increase price of shares and sell shares at four dollars, i.e. those who bought 10 thousands’ worth shares have paid 40 thousands for them. This means that “WorldCom” earned 60 billion dollars through this fraud. Opponents might say - Where is corruption here? The matter is that this and other companies would not be able to make this operation if the State Commission and other controlling state agencies would not shut their eyes to such frauds. The reader, probably, knows what makes them condone such machinations. If it were only “WorldCom”, we would not pay our attention to it, but such facts have already grown into a tendency.

The history of Enron and other latest events are a clear example of it. Thus, the USA should be thankful to corruption for the business boom of the nineties. It turns out that corruption stimulates business. Nowadays, world economy goes through its hardest days – business indices of all developed countries have fallen catastroph- 51 -

ically for the whole length of July. From May to the end of July Dow Jones fell from 10400 to 7600 points. “NASDAQ” (high technologies stock) fell from 1750 to 1200 points. This was followed by crisis in Europe where Dux “Germany” has fallen from 5075 to 3500 points during the same period not to mention crisis in Asian markets. Subsequently, there was an unseen fall of dollar against Euro that collapsed due to the corruption in the world.

Yet, specialists forecast that it is only a beginning as many other facts of corruption are to be discovered yet. Then you should see what will happen! Added to this will be a scandal in the Euro Commission concerning the same corruption that, according to specialists, would be even greater than that of the last century.

It seems there is no way out as we, Georgians, thought that corrup- tion was a disease of our young Georgian state. However, it turned out that corruption seems to be a necessary condition for the develop- ment of business. No, you will not be able to read this in books of Machew and Samuel, but what we have seen from world practice, is, certainly, resentful. Yet, why should the Georgians lag behind the world practice in this field? Missionaries visiting Georgia assert that we are the most corrupted in the world.

We believed in it and even turned red with shame for resembling inhabitants of the North America not only in colour, but also in level of corruption. It means that one can never see a beam of wood in other people’s eyes.

Yet, it would not be a bad thing to give a leave to our institutions and anti-corruption organs in summer at the expense of grants and send them not to Kobuleti, but to California to help put out the fires. We would be glad to speak to our reader on a more pleasant subject during summer holidays, but it is not time for summer with world economy being in a slump.

July-August, Year 2002

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SEPTEMBER September was a tense and important month for us, Georgians.

Though we, Georgians, still have to pass a long way to indepen-dence, the world community considers Georgia to be a state as Georgian people have regained the lost international function.

Events going on in Baku on 18 September when a foundation was laid for the construction of Baku-Tbilisi-Jeikhan pipeline have contributed much to our factual recognition on the world map. From now on, no one would say that we are not a state. Opponents might still start arguing about it, but the fact is that this event received our enemies’ unambiguous estimation and triggered Russia’s sharp respond that even grew into a threat of physical destruction on 11 September. Russia loses territories that it has “owned” for 200 years.

There are many stories in the world history about disintegration of mother countries from its colonies. As a rule, they remain under economic influence of former mother countries as, f.e., England, France, India and African countries. The same concerns Australia and New Zealand where economic expansion of former mother countries has been preserved till now.

In our case, Russia not only loses the role of economic dominant, but its former colony turns into its competitor also. As far as passing of pipeline through the territory of Georgia is concerned.

Russia lost the competition. It did its best to cause instability of territorial and economic situation in Georgia. Later, Russia described Georgia as a country sheltering terrorists and even accused it of aggression against Russia. Collaterally, it razed half Chechnya to the ground with the purpose of regaining full control of the territory.

At the same time, Russia immediately grew power in the direction of Aktau (Kazakh- stan) - Novorosisk, but this did not help either.

Russia failed to win support of Georgia’s western colleagues though many of them colla- borate with Russia on a number of issues. They supported us once, and Georgia was granted international function - 53 -

under the auspices of the USA. Yet Russia lost the territory and business.

On 11 September when the whole world was grieving about the tragedy in America, Russia threatened Georgia with bombing. This threat will not be the last one. Russia will show Georgia clutches of its two headed eagle again. However, the world already needs Georgia!

The West that Russia has to reckon with will not give up Georgia. The world has changed after the 11 September tragedy in USA. Nowadays, USA mainly supports small developing countries, especially Georgia. The latter became sphere of its interests. Where before the US provided it with economic assistance, now it is ready to provide military one. Tyranny and dictate, would this be Iraq or Russia, are equally fatal to mankind. The world should fear not only nuclear or biological weapons, but also the destructive role of Iraq and similar dictatorships in the development of the world business with oil sold at dumping prices and bribery spread in governmental levels. There is one approach - those who shelter bandits, criminals, robbers are apologists of dictatorship posing threat for the whole world. Therefore, the whole world united around Georgia and progressive America in its struggle with terrorism and dictatorship, and it supports them in the struggle. Dictate, dictatorship and terrorism are inseparable notions meaning evil as dictatorship being often of a short-lived nature, tries to maintain power through violence and terror. Thus, these two synonymous words are equally dangerous for small and big countries.

Economic situation of Georgia has not improved in September.

We now celebrate economist’s day and prepare for elections, but in September, the USA helped Georgia to prove its statehood.

September, Year 2002

- 54 -

IT STARTED! It started even earlier than we expected. Turmoil started in political establishment and the golden autumn in Georgia is flushed by the volcano of electoral demagogue. No, we cannot say we have not expected it as our political forecasters and populist surveyors long ago have made logical forecasts saying that a show that starts in Georgia before elections will even make Moulen rouge feel jealous and it would develop in accordance with such a tragicomic scenario that would even overshadow Moliere. Yet, reality has surpassed our expectations as we have not anticipated such a mixture of the elements of sophism and scholastics.

I called to mind one anecdote of my childhood times: a boy was walking along the street and came across a hooligan. The hooligan asked the boy to give him cigarettes “Prima�. The boy answered that he has not got them because he is not smoking. The hooligan got angry and beat the boy. Next day, the same hooligan met the boy again. The boy gave him a package of cigarettes hoping he would not be beaten again. This time the hooligan became angry because the child did not have filter-tipped cigarettes, and he beat the boy again. On the third day the boy came across the hooligan again and gave him filter-tipped cigarettes, but then the hooligan wanted matches and beat the boy because he did not have matches.

Finally, the boy put matches in his pocket and went on his usual way. When the hooligan saw that the boy had everything with him, he struck him a blow because he did not have his hat on.

Yesterday, all of us criticized the government (it does not lack criticism) because it accumulated so many external debts that would become a burden for our future generation. Now we and our creditors understood that notwithstanding the benefits granted to us after reconstruction under Houston terms, we will not be able - 55 -

to repay either 160 million next year or 500 millions in 2004 in the existing economic and political situation. The government started to give a thought to the way of having our debts written off. I think we are losing the sense of reality.

Though, the thinking of developed countries has changed as coming out from Argentina syndrome they started to talk about new approach toward debtor countries (it is considered a polygon for successful experiments of World Financial Organizations).

They want to raise a question of country’s bankruptcy that will not be tantamount to default.

According to reliable sources, England, being the most important member of Parisian club of creditors, and large investor of the century projects in Georgia raised a question of writing off our debts like it was done in Poland. Yet, these are only assumptions and nothing else. We have started agiotage too early. Probably, this is a part of pre-election show. Today, there is hunting for broad topics of criticism. Debates in the Parliament have become sharper (bawdry and hand-to-hand fighting that would even Kandelaki make feel jealous). Political groups unite frequently, but life does not become better. Today, political forces christened as opposition do not approve anything. Moreover, the government itself becomes opposition.

And even we, ordinary mortals do not like anything. That is how the lack of themes to criticize and abundance of criticism appeared that is the best sphere for business. Think up a broad topic for criticism, and we will help to realize it at minimal commission fee!

One might ask: what does economy have to do with it? There is no time for economy with there being terrorists in Russia, a sniper in America and upcoming elections in our country! By the way, - 56 -

my driver has recently asked me about the debt: “What do you think about struggle for debts on TV and Houston- Naples variant?

Which is better?” I ask: “And what do you think?” He answers: “If you are interested in my opinion, I would say that Naples is closer to us. We have much in common with Italians. That is why I think Naples is better”. Who knows? The driver might be right, his opinion is competent. But, really, why the boy has not had his hat on in that autumn?

October, Year 2002

WHAT MAKES US HAPPY? - IS IT A HOPE? Since December another attribute - hurry-scurry of New Year’s Eve - has been added to our everyday problems. We feel anxiety, we suffer, fuss and grumble, but still we are waiting for New Year with great excitement. We are happy with the coming of New Year, snow and cold wind blowing outside.

In my free time I’ve often thought about what makes us so happy, but I have not yet found an answer. On December 31 when the clock hands are approaching 12, I have often seen people hurrying home as if they are running away from someone or something.

People are hurrying without looking behind as if they are afraid of remembering the past. They are going home at a nervous pace as if after coming home they will find themselves in a paradise where all their dreams and desires will come true and problems will be solved. Why are we so happy with New Year’s coming? Is not it because we hope that A new benchmark will begin and past problems will be solved, the world will change and the villain who lives on robbery and theft will turn into a decent man; - 57 -

Murderers will not kill people any more and kidnappers will not kidnap; Son who betrayed his father will repent sincerely and lead a decent life; Schemer-neighbour and wicked mother-in-law will turn into angels; The government will tell no lies and will make something useful for the country; People with shoulder-straps will not rob and oppress poor people and judges won’t sell justice for candies; Big countries will feel pity for the small ones, will return their territories, help them to create strong army and forgive their debts; Elections have always been a farce, but there will be fair elections once; Demagogues will be ashamed and tell truth; Drug addicts will take no drugs, the “rotund” will get thinner, thieves will not steal, indecent will become decent and poor will become rich; A beloved one will return feelings and he who found the love will not lose it; At least, this year we will have electricity; Economy will prosper and salaries will increase; Good will triumph over evil. Thus, we are happy with our own hopes! And yet New Year is just a first day of a month like all other days, it is the same mirage as triumph of the good over the evil, like a New Year fairy tale. Thus what are we happy with? We are happy with hope that we entertain on one winter night that fades away the next day as life moves in a groove.

We deceive ourselves with vague hopes and we are well aware that the evil is stronger than the good, a kind man faces more obstacles, the country belongs to robbers, bandits, villains, cruel, indecent - 58 -

men and politicians, and the others are left to perform the role of decorations. It seems that, hope and self-deceit are as sweat as New Year Gozinaki. That is why we are so happy; else it is impossible to change people as well as our life. Happy New Year! Do not lose hope as it is yet free of charge. It is as pure as this Christmas light.

Happy New Year and Christmas my dear readers and unlike you, I hope that this year you will still read our magazine. Subscribe to it and all of us will be happy with the hope because I still have hopes too, and let our hopes come true! If this year the hopes do not come true, this will happen on next New Year!

December, Year 2002

THE YEAR OF GOAT IS A YEAR OF CATACLYSMS The year 2003 is the year of goat according to Chinese horoscope. As a rule, it is a time of cataclysms and deep crisis. Perhaps, not only goat is guilty of events going on in world economy as the stormy days of modern world economy took a start in previous years.

As it was forecasted by the experts, the US stock market dwindled already in the beginning of the year. Dollar depreciated unpreceden- tedly, exchange rate between the US dollar and Euro fell from 1.00 to 0.92 for the first time. According to widespread information, a whole number of central banks in Asian countries have not only stopped buying US exchequer bonds and investing in this sphere, but even have started to sell them rapidly. Obviously leak of several trillions of Asian money can have a bad result for America eventually. Moreover, economic team of the White House has been replaced. Laurence Lid, a liberal by vocation, President’s council on economic issues, was replaced by monetarist Steven Friedman, - 59 -

finance ministry Paul O’Neil was replaced by John Snow. O’Neil was criticised by lobby of American entrepreneurs for hard currency. Naturally, new railwayman minister will not be criticised for financing election campaign of George Bush and for his old sins, but for his monetary policy. There are talks that Glenn Hubbard head of administration’s councillor group - will be replaced just like Harvard man Gregory Menk. It is anticipated that hard monetary policy is likely to move to the background. That is why investors are leaving. Petrol price increased up to $30-34 per barrel and gold was $360 per ounce. Experts reckon that this trend will last till gold price reaches $420 per ounce, i.e. the year 1996 level.

Dow Jones and NASDAQ indices are falling catastrophically. In 2002 stock price decreased by 20%. This trend will last this year too. Despite the fact that profit performances of leading firms are quite satisfactory, their stock prices are falling because profit is not derived from turnover (increase of trade volume), but rather from financial operations.

Unemployment rate in the US increased and purchasing capacity of markets fell. Dramatic approach to the consumption and production of goods might lead to a deep crisis that is likely to last till 2003.

The greatest problem is the situation in Iraq where war is about to break out at any day. This causes tension in the world market. Iraq holds the second place by his oil reserves. This is the strategic target that economic stability of 2003 will be sacrificed for.

Experts reckon that the war will not be lasting and thus all changes in eco- nomy will regain its course.

Georgian business took another swipe due to strengthening of Euro. Georgian business that was oriented on European goods and American currency faced serious difficulties - businessmen had to - 60 -

pay higher prices for goods than usual. At the same time, they will have to raise prices in order to compensate losses, which due to population’s low purchasing capacity will lead to reduction of turnover and concealment of profits from tax department and turning into illegal business. If GEL maintains its stability, export will get expensive and face difficulties. At the same time import increases due to construction of oil pipeline that deteriorates of balance of payments deficit. Internal trade turnover decreases and consumer price index goes down. 2003 Budget performance is quite doubtful in such situation as there will not be enough revenue from taxes. Budget revenue from taxes should increase by 12-17 million monthly in comparison with previous years.

Revenue from taxes performance looks grave either. The World Bank has changed its policy toward our country and local taxes (from state property privatisation, credit repayment and state dividends are under question. The goat year does not bode well for either the world or Georgian economy.

There is one way out - to forget economy of 2003 and start thinking of politics. Many interesting things are going on in Georgia politics. There will be “entrance examinations” in the Parliament and soon list of candidates will be published. The main thing now is who will pass the exams as disciplines are quite difficult ranging from hand-to- hand fighting, political prostitution and demagogue, introduction to corruption, lobbyism- clannish behaviour and basics of treachery. Leading TV channels have already broadcast statements of private tutors.

They are experienced figures of the second, third Parliament session who will bring up future star boys according to their own experience.

Hurry up, places are limited!

- 61 -

I wonder how much one should bribe to pass the exam. One might ask – what the hell do you need it for? But I do! Because if this goes on, no workplaces will soon be left in Georgia except in the Parliament! What on earth should one do - die from lack of money and idleness? At least, this way one can find weapon - who knows what will happen in this absurd country with its economy sunk into oblivion.

January, Year 2003

CRUSADE AGAINST LEGAL BUSINESS The greatest tragedy of Christian world was the devastation of Byzantine Empire by Muslims and up today we were blaming Turkish tribes who came from Asia in this and conquered an unapp- roachable citadel that thousand years of permanent sieges and wars could do no harm to. On the contrary, after receiving trading and political-military strategic inheritance from Ethos, Byzantine streng- thened and got rich even more. Christians destructed Byzantine in the name of Christ and Christians.

During the lazy oncoming of spring Georgians are enjoying eco- nomic and political Bacchanalia and warming their benumbed bodies with the fire burning from it, mentioning of Constantinople’s and shame of Christians might seem sarcastic to someone. My society! Defender of Iraqi working masses! Do not hurry to make conc- lusions.

Let us remember which city did armed crusaders who gathered in Venice and were going to free holy places from infidels under the leadership of blind doges, devastated on the way to Jerusalem by the Pope’s order a century before Turks would have approached - 62 -

walls of the holy wall? Let us remember how Prince Constantine from Cons- tantinople went to the crusaders and blind doges Enrique Dandaloo in Venice imploring them to overthrow Byzantine authorities and promising to them, Byzantine people, gold, unnumbered privileges, improved life conditions, rivers of honey and milk, prosperity of Christianity and enrichment in return of his mounting the thrown. And the prince managed to convince crusaders and part of his popul- ation through his demagogue. Medieval Europe knows no such shame. With Crosses in their hands crusaders who gathered to protect Christians, had devastated Byzantine for the sake of its son, power- thirsty prince Constantine, a century earlier. Constantine became king though he could not maintain power even for a year and died from the same sword that he used against his country. We could put a period to historical excursion here, but this is not our purpose. Country devastated by crusaders weakened and never reached the previous glory. Inner discord and wars began. Economy of Byzantine fell. Constantine’s demagogue lived as long as soap bubble in the air.

Constantine was, certainly, punished, but what was the fault of people deluded by demagogue who lost peace and wealth. Byzantine was defeated by Byzantines. Turks only reft crutches from a cripple with slogans of people’s liberation and care for welfare of Byzantine people.

What parallel can we draw with the present? I will leave this to you, my reader, but I will say you one thing: Due to multitude of reasons, the year 2003 will be a difficult one for the world economy as we have already mentioned in the previous magazine number.

The main reason is, certainly, war against Iraq with its modern attendant processes. In this situation all countries take extraordinary measures and try to save business and production growth, promote - 63 -

the consum- ption stability, and protect legal business.

And what about us? First we increased electricity price (I am not an electrician. Nor I know whose fault it is, but rumours are going that state bureaucratic structures of other countries representing pseudo private business structures laid hands to the normalised system of Telasi). This led to 30% price increase in legal business.

Despite the price increase, we launched inexplicable lawsuits and turned off light in legal businesses again (usual periodical explosions). We promised benefits to population, but not to business. We did not even connect decent payers to a separate line so that electricity would not be switched off here along with non-payers (Telasi made a great mistake and it will have financial problems unless it does not correct it). Criminal situation becomes uncontrollable.

Businesses and business- men are murdered, kidnapped and robbed in broad daylight, their family members are terrorised. Representatives of the criminal world are not alone in this Bacchanalia. They are often supported by repre- sentative of law enforcement agencies that soon after learning about a successful legal business, attack it immediately. And in these con- ditions we pass law on so called legalisation of illegal incomes that is nothing else but supply of new and complete information for oppres- sors of legal business. Then they will kidnap a child or brother and thereby destroy a man. We do not oppose the law, but we should not pass it in this form and in this situation. The law should contain austere mechanism of business protection. I remember with what triumph we passed law on property declaration of high-rank officials. And what then? Has the corruption reduced or increased? Did we get any results? All we got is patently ordered articles about certain offi- cial and political dirt.

We should speak about the law only after all citizens of Georgia fill in the obligatory income declaration form and criminal chaos - 64 -

is liquidated. According to the law on illegal income legalisation, due forces will be secretly aware of every transfer of 30 000 GEL; thus they will calculate legal profit and afterwards “Clean- ing out mechanisms� of law enforcement agencies and criminal world will be launched. What is the way out? Start illegal business on time and you will be safe! Pay to everybody but not to the state because the state does not care for you, my legal businessmen - saviour and keepers of the country! Antimonopoly service joined the Crusaders. There is no other problem except Georgian inscription on imported production. I can compete in love for Georgian language with both anti-monopoly and monopoly services, but with all my respect towards the leader of the service, I agree to it that the produc- tion should, at least, have annotation in the Georgian language so that a consumer could receive the necessary information in case of need, but in this stage such big information on each separate product is nothing else but utopia and struggle against legal business. What else can we do in the country where we can not control non-excised cigarettes and contraband goods and where fairs are the only form of trading? How can we control fairs? Do you take responsibility for this, my friends? I will tell you what you will control - legal business of which only almost nothing is left here.

On the other hand, Georgia is a too small country from the view- point of business. Suppliers are not interested in stopping their mach- ines and in attaching labels in Georgian language for the sake of a small consignment of goods. Ask businessmen - most of goods come from Russia except for some world’s monster companies that gained monopoly in Georgia. What shall we do? Should all of us drink Nes- cafe? A real crusade started against legal business in Georgia. Cru- saders are approaching the political top, too. Be vigilant! God will, certainly, punish Constantine, but he might not - 65 -

save Byzantine and its people. I express my deep and timid apologies, my reader, I over- strained you and did not offer you my usual humour in the back- ground of armour clank and lazily approaching spring, but I love you and I want you to be vigilant. Humour?

Humour is frozen.

February, Year 2003

EVERYTHING WILL BE ALL RIGHT Georgians build a new country and new economy. Metamorphoses in Georgia coincided with the establishment of new order in the world. Iraqi war is not a conflict between two worlds, but rather a crisis of international organisations – their helplessness and inability to efficiently solve issues of national and international conflicts, problems of economic balance between rich and poor countries and catastrophically increasing indebtedness as well as recover justice in the distribution of resources and technologies.

Globalisation that was once the only possible way for the development of mankind turns into a barrier in this way. Moreover, dictator countries that live in accordance with criminal laws represent a constant threat for the world, let alone their own people.

It becomes clear that ruling the world by means of resolutions is impossible. Crisis in developed countries is obvious.

Three centres have recently been formed - America, Europe and Japan. Business becomes more and more technological and power- intensive. Those who hold trump cards and market (whether Russian or Chinese market) win.

Which of them will Georgia join? Georgia will join the winner – it has no other way out. Our economy will neither be power-intensive nor technology-intensive. It rather has the role of append- 66 -

age. Unfortunately, it will never be able to play its own role and its economy will always be dependent on great economy on regional level. The greater economy we will join, the better we will fuse with it and lose our face. Have we ever had our own face, original national face and economic institute? It is much better and safer to be swallowed by a powerful state without having to think about either economic systems or theories. All we have to do is to follow the wave and enjoy life. We will not have our face, but we will live.

No economy, just politics and everything will be all right.

These are after Iraq war international order, world centres and small countries like the parts of these centres or satellites.

It does not matter that we live in the conditions of permanent lack of electricity and political demagogue. Everything is solved already. A century ago a certain not very popular politician said (I do not dare to assert) that we will build a country where even a cook can hold a public position. He was sharply criticised for this and I think in vain because the politician might have meant Georgian cooks. The latter are clever and organised folk. They will be able to do this moreover if they do not have to rule, but rather to drift with the tide.

Some Georgians have turned into pacifists due to the war. Some of them started to pay for electricity as a sign of protest, others paid taxes, etc. Moreover, leaders of opposition nearly refused to take part in the forthcoming elections as a sign of protest while government just declined elections.

Yet, I said everything would be all right!

March, Year 2003

- 67 -

IRAQ RESCUED, WHAT ABOUT US? “It is impossible to argue with fools frankly and honestly� Michel Montaigne There is season of endless and full-scale arguments in Georgia.

Economists argue about which code is better for the improvement of tax system, which model is better for economists, which expert is more competent and so on and so forth.

The same is in politics. There are debates about everything and everywhere - in the Parliament, government, streets, kitchens, whorehouse. Debates are dominant here not because we are sick for wise philosophers, not because we are eager to learn the truth, but rather because we are guided by envy and mercantilism: smugglers allegedly fight against smuggling, clever falsifier against election fraud, separatists against separatism, and demagogues against demagogy and courtesans against prostitution. It is truly Second Advent.

I have got one idea: if I were a chemist, I would invent a mass destruction weapon and as I am not a chemist, I should steal it from my neighbour so that someone would pay attention to my country and finally, we would have luck, too, like Iraq that entered the recovery phase in three weeks, but we...

We now celebrate Easter hoping that education, competency, professionalism will win in Georgia and we will not have to argue with fools any more.

God save my country!

April, Year 2003

- 68 -

THE FORMULA IS FOUND! “After the number of art specialists (experts) has increased, art has become a rarity itself” Richard Wagner “The more foolish things I do, the more popular I become” John Kennedy We have finally got rid of winter and plunged into the much desired green. The warmth has brought with it lofty thoughts, love, poetic mood and splendour of bee murmur in the bud of almond-tree flowers.

Everything around has been covered with green. There are more blue, grey and white colours, but green one is the most appealing to us. It comforts us as buoyant leaves comfort plane trees growing on the bank of Enguri. Besides, green is a good background. Black, yellow, red and blue colour goes with it. In one word, green reminds me of billiard. Billiard is a great game - a game of kings and politicians. Just look: all balls are yours and at the same time, they are others’. All holes belong to you and at the same time, they serve others. Everything depends on time and space. Besides, you will not be able to do anything with blague and demagogue. If you have strong hand and quick eye, you win, no matter in which hole you lay egg, sorry, ball.

Billiard resembles neither politics, nor economy where you can say that you have a programme of saving Georgia, a new economic plan, innovations that you have brought from abroad and that you do not impart to anyone, but you present them and assert that “Georgia has no economists” so no one will be able to understand it. And already you become Messiah... But what does May have to do with it?

Is not it because sun shines, someone feasts and others bawl and - 69 -

squall at meetings. Yet, who denies innovations, presentations and expertise?

No, it is definitely the fault of sun. May is a strange month there is much sun and ferocious heat.

Fantastic game is billiard. If you can, you should strike, if you cannot, take something else instead of cue. In fact, there is the same in economy: if you know, you should write, and we will see. If you cannot, then go to factory and shoot the breeze there. Georgia is a small country and it does not bear giants. Tbilisi is also a small city and there are so many experts of economy that some decided not to interfere and went to Guria to grow grapes, others decided to play billiard.

Oh, billiard is a special game. If you can, you should strike. If you cannot, go to Jericho! A certain expert is said to have arrived from Georgia. We have enough experts here, but of such level...

Spring and spirit is rejoicing. We celebrate arrival of expert, sorry, super-expert, rather than Independence Day and pipe laying in Kakheti. No, it is definitely the fault of sun.

Fools rush in where angels fear to tread. Recover, Georgia! Rejoice economists - the formula is found!

May, Year 2003

- 70 -

PLATO AND WE And the different forms of government make laws democratical, aristocratical, tyrannical, with a view to their several interests; and these laws, which are made by them for their own interests, are the justice which they deliver to their subjects, and him who transgresses them they punish as a breaker of the law, and unjust.

And that is what I mean when I say that in all states there is the same principle of justice, which is the interest of the government; and as the government must be supposed to have power, the only reasonable conclusion is, that everywhere there is one principle of justice, which is the interest of the stronger.

“Republic” Plato Night and day we hear one and the same phrase from a certain TV channel - Europe is anxious. I love Europe - wonderful world, rich houses, great traditions, untold wealth and luxurious palaces.

I wonder what this all-loved old Europe is worried about, what her storm-beaten eyes, body, heart and pocket might see what they have not seen before. Yet, it is a real wonder - Europe is worried by the Georgian Election Law what if elections will be held in accordance with this law.

Are you fighting for fair elections, fair code and fair committee?

Were you unfair until now? This is what you were hiding from Europe?

We are fed up to the teeth! We want to have working business environment, to have competent government rather than demagogue and populist Parliament. We need recovering economy and country that wishes to unify. But as we know, life is not all cakes and ale! Let us leave Europe alone. The young should not bother the old. I have recently been in the West and I have heard somebody speaking behind the fence: “Oh, I look at Georgia and my - 71 -

heart bleeds. It used to be paradise on the earth, now it has turned into a chaos of groans. I wail for people who used to be unconquerable and brave and now serve the devil. I wail for the land where once lambs browsed grass, the land that once was the land of promise where people followed Christ’s Covenant, the land where now only thorns and weeds grow. I wail for the country whose population has once enlightened the world and that now has turned into the shelter for ignorance and stupidity. I wail for the country that has given birth to antique Greek wisdom and has now turned into a source of ignorance. People fell into the abyss because of their blindness; it is the country where all gods are forgotten”.

I did not understand whether this was wail or pre-election meeting of “worldly”, pushing, well-groomed, but still irreconcilable opposition. I looked out - it turned out to be neither one nor another. It was small boy who read Christopher de Castella’s “Records and albums about Georgia” with a detached, indifferent air and who did not at all understand what made Europe worry and why things created by the government are fair and why the fair suddenly becomes unfair eight years later.

Only Plato and Parliament, to be more exact, the former Parliament might know this.

Yet, how many varieties of justices are there in the world? For people it is well being, but for the Parliament this depends on...

June, Year 2003

- 72 -

THE COUNTRY GOT ROTTEN Unusually cold summer is close to the end...

Instead, exceptionally “hot” autumn is ahead. We are so unlike the West - people there wait for rains, but we dream of sun because we became all wet through and rotten due to the rains. To be more exact, not rotten, but the other way round – we are quite successful in coming off clear.

For instance, Telas has been on sale for a year already, but we lear- ned about it just now and “went in for dramatics”. 65% of energy supply has fallen at the share of Russia for the past ten years, but we have learned about this as well as about the fact that our fate depen- ded on Putin’s caprices only now. And at once we rushed to “defend our people”.

Georgian economy has been consumer economy during the last few years; consumption is thrice as much as production; imports are thrice as much as export. Stability of currency is more dependent on international injections than on its own economy; the amount of debts has far more exceeded all admissible norms, but at the same time, there happened “wonder” of economic growth here – 8.7%.

Though budget revenues do not exceed even the Y1996 level, we have not seemed to suspect it and have learned about it just now.

Yes, we have got rotten through, but not by ourselves, but due to heavy rains. We never remembered economy, its situation has got worse day after day; population became poorer with each year, basket of goods becomes more expensive, market contracts and masses become insolvent. Tell me then, what most of our western friends need us for? Our country has become unattractive for business.

There has been terrible business situation in the country of the late years. Added to this is flush of criminality (that helps us to hold elections) and controlling structures. There has been merging of - 73 -

business- state and criminal structures of late years. This process has already been completed and as a result, single organism has been formed. How-ever, we have learned of it only now.

Is not it strange that we have learned of it only after we have lost our posts? How can one be so rotten, how can one lie to people that you have not known anything before and have done nothing similar? Perhaps, you are mushrooms that have come to this world in this wet summer after the usual heavy rain? Are not there too many poisonous mushrooms for such a small country as Georgia?

And you sit now and discuss whom the country belongs to Russia or America. Is it not better to make out who we are and what we need in policy and economy?

No, people of the country have got finally rotten due to frequent rains in this summer.

July-August, Year 2003

GEORGIA IS LEFT! We, Georgians, are strange people. We like running to extremes - we are either right or left, we belong either to the West or Russia, we are either extremely kind or extremely cruel and irreconcilable.

We were very glad when the USA declared that our country was in their sphere of interest, and we gave a sigh of relief: our tortures are finally over; we will not have to think of our economy or people!

Now they will take care of everything (incidentally, the same was when we belonged to Russia).

However, we forget that US interests are as changeable as time and scales. We have keenly approved the war against Iraq and declared that the turn of Abkhazia would come soon. It has not occurred to us that the country that won the war might suffer a defeat - 74 -

in the world policy as modern wars begin after military operations are over, and if this process becomes lengthy, such countries as the USA might face a serious threat. On the other hand, the new world order has not become the way we had expected it to be. Other “disobedient” countries were not afraid, but on the contrary, they thought that if the country with such finances and armament failed to bring Iraq down to its knees, it would not manage to do anything to Russia or other countries.

The States realised this and decided to begin large-scale co- operation with Russia. America is keen on this co-operation as it has been abandoned by its former allies – European countries (especially Germany and France) due to disagreement on economic issues (we wrote about their interests in spring).

American-English coalition could not carry the heavy burden of Iraqi war for long...It decided to involve the whole world in it. Yet, the world and especially NATO allies do not seem to hurry. On the contrary, they continue to criticise the US. Added to this is constant decrease of Bush’s rating. He faces serious problems in the forthcoming elections of 2004.

In the meantime, US budget deficit exceeded 550 billion dollars.

War in Iraq cost the country more than 85 billion dollars. Bush’s administration will need as much money for anti-terrorist activities in Iraq in 2004. Yet, peace will not be established in Iraq even in 2004-2005 as its partisans have quite great funds. Besides, peace in Iraq is suitable neither to Europe nor Russia.

The lengthier is the process, the softer will be US attitude to Russia’s assets. Russia might regain not quite 8 billions, but at least 4 billion dollars and make the USA include its firms in the further process of rehabilitation and realisation of oilfields.

Besides, OPEC countries decided to decrease oil output from 25 - 75 -

million barrels to 24. This will lead to the increase of oil prices by minimum 20% since 1 November, thus adding new problems to the problematic American economy. Russia is not a member of Cartel and it can balance situation by increasing oil output thereby helping America to avert crisis. Russia will not have economic benefit from it. On the contrary, its currency reserves grow through oil sales, and after the end of military actions the reserves will decrease considerably: Russia needs currency and in big amounts. So it is ready to sacrifice its economic interests to political concessions. Political concessions imply permission to the conduct of new- colonial, new imperialistic policy in its former colonies including Georgia. They also imply support of Putin in the Parliament and presidential elections, creation of the image of Western model democratic politician and his recognition as legally competent partner in the world market sharing. The West has made the issues more acute by giving B. Berezovsky political shelter in England and forwarding his letters to Putin who was hurrying to the meeting with Kemp Davids so that to remind the President of Russia that he needs this image as the world knows him as adherent of dictatorship and violator of human rights and democracy principles. After Kemp Davids’s speech in UN, Putin will be cordially met and promised co- operation on the principle of exchange of interests. What does Georgia care for? What about the promise to solve Abkhazian problem and increase annual aid provided Georgia supports coalition. Instead, the aid was reduced to 75 millions. The IMF has disappeared mysteriously somewhere and became suddenly very strict to the government. The aid promised by the IMF has disappeared like “Itera” gas.

Europe, our old and strict Europe deprives us of the promised aid.

It became suddenly discontent with the high level of corruption and governors’ dispute with power engineering specialists. As if - 76 -

everything was different before. It reminds me of Titiko’s wedding when David’s family waited for Dariko’s band to flight it (a famous Georgian film of S. Dolidze).

Georgia was left to the mercy of fate! Everyone left it! All branches of state authority are worried with one and the same thought - why not leaving the country, too. It would not be such a bad idea: this would make life easier for the country. It would not be worse anyway. Yet, is Dariko so impatient to start the attack? At first, we will be made to ask for light, and then several businessmen will start to discharge gas because former enemies have suddenly turned into business partners and because our patron is in a predicament while no one in big policy cares for Georgia. They remember us; they come to us, give us a leg-up, chide us and go. Georgia was left as a romantic amorous schoolgirl alone in the street at night.

We should save our country ourselves! Neither Yanks nor Russia, but we! Our predecessor said we should become a state with its own ideology, principles, interests, policy and economy.

But stop, what is the noise? Ah, it is a rehearsal of election performance. Though it is late, I still would like to ask then conductor to rewrite the script. It is better to do this later than never.

September, Year 2003

DON’T WORRY, BE HAPPY! DON’T WORRY, “HAPPY” NATION Abundant, boon, and golden autumn has come, laden with the blood of the grape.Tender nature and countrymen rejoicing with cups full of wine and rewarding toil.

I was strolling purposelessly in a street covered with yellow and red carpet of leaves...And greedily breathing the cool air of the au- 77 -

tumn and doubtfully contemplating my city. Someone was offering me grapes. Fruits were in abundance here, and human prattle resembled a symphony. Someone was repairing gas pipes, an electrician was checking the reliability of electric lines, a worker dressed in black was going to lay asphalt with pitch. Life was ebullient in the country and steam stood over the city.

Suddenly, a boy and a girl appeared in the idyll like Red Riding Hood’s mushrooms. The couple beamed with smiles. One might think they did not live in this forsaken country, but they have rather been a prince and princess from a fairy-tale land. They carried a bag looking like the Red Riding Hood with its basket. The couple offered me some brochures instead of buns. As I was going to read something anyway, I decided to take the brochure and read it carefully instead of reading press with its long stories like novels of Dumas and with its boring articles like reports of the government.

Yes, it was a pre-election programme of a certain party. I read it in detail, and the promises seemed so sweet to me. The Red Riding Hood’s buns were nothing to it! Then other star- boys and girls gave me another brochure. I have already had seven of them by the end of the street. As seven is a sacred, holy number, I did not take any more of them. I read them to all of my students: we will provide you with jobs - Oh, it is good! We will employ you, cure you - I liked it, many people need this; we will regain Abkhazia, we will bring democracy and freedom, we will make economy prosperous (I thought May was month of prosperity), we will form army and provide electricity and gas free of charge (they did not make any allusions as to what gas was meant).

I was very pleased. Then I gathered all of the programmes together and looked up at the sky to see whether the heavenly paradise came down to us. No, the sky was in its place but I can say - 78 -

nothing of paradise. I thought to myself, do not worry, forworn toilers, glory to you. The long-wished time has come. I gathered the promises of all parties - they were alike as two peas, but on the whole, they were like a fairy-tale, the Red Riding Hood fairy-tale...

I was joyful and I wanted to cry - people, wake up, do not worry, be happy! Yet, something was missing: the fairy-tale had no character. Ah yes, the wolf was nowhere to be seen. I was scared and I left the street stealthily like a thief. Someone shouted “That’s enough”, someone begged, there was a cry of a hungry child somewhere, someone wailed over sons killed in the war, someone wailed over the lost dream, someone looked for manna in the garbage, someone’s cartilage was broken.

I left the street quietly and my heart was full of joy again. I reproached myself for believing fairy-tales. Are not the lies, sorry, the fairy-tales, too sweet. Fairy-tales have been read to us five times for the past ten years.

Once again I found myself standing in queue for fruits and rejoic- ing in autumn, having come from virtual abundance to reality. I thought suddenly that it was not the prosperous economy that made me pleased, but rather bumper crop. I was also glad that only fruit was sold, but not votes and conscious, I did not buy any votes and I did not pay either false fairy-tales or money for it. I said to myself: Do not worry. The virtual Red Riding Hood fairy-tale would be good but for the wolf. Golden autumn stood in the street and elegiac deep sleep overcame people (they lost their vigilance): people can not tell sheer lie from truth, a cup with poison from the Holy Grail. They will give votes to unworthy people – and they will reap what they have sawn!

Do not worry, “happy” nation.

October, Year 2003 - 79 -

WHAT SHOULD WE HOPE FOR? Time slips by and nothing can change its stream. Mankind cannot control time and space - no one can change them. One can only use time in his own favour.

The time wheel has taken away the year 2003 and brought the new one giving hope to us, people. As supposed, 2003 was an extremely difficult year for economy. It was not because we have in advance planned and approved budget that was impracticable even theoretic- ally in those conditions and with that team (see number 12, 2002), but rather because as expected, nothing was done in the year of elections and therefore, the existing stagnation grew to real crisis. You might probably ask what we should hope for in the next year with it being remarkable for cascade of elections. The peculiarity of the situation is that interest towards our country grew more than ever before. The High and Mighty of this world expect decisive reforms in economy and public administration.

It is a chance for Georgia, and the country should by no means lose it. It is necessary to differentiate political battles and strategic plan of economic reorganisation. We have the chance to build economic fundament that will be adjusted to the political system formed on the basis of nation’s interests and harmonisation of our partners’ aims. It will be late to do this tomorrow, yet today there is the chance for 2004 to become a transition year and to pave the way for programs (including donors), new budget, public administration, new fiscal legislature, reorganisation of law enforcement structures and management of social structure.

It is necessary to single out several priorities.

We should find out what kind of country we would like to have.

We should view all transformations in cause-effect relations. This must be initiated with nation-wide agreement, mobilisation, and - 80 -

develop- ment of single state ideology. 2004 will be the year of cataclysms in financial sphere. There will be an unseen overturn that will change the rules of political game. We should use it in our interests. The only thing to prevent is destabilisation and inactivity.

December, Year 2003

AM(E)N-ESTY During my forty years, I have heard many words like: communists, Marxists, Trotskyite, opportunists, Stalinists, Zviadists (the latter have even been chastised, now they are not), Shevarnadzists (it is yet punishable), revanchists, economists, but today am(e)nesty is the most popular, i.e. person who is am(e)n-ist. The popular word amnesty comes from it.

The word “Amen” is sacred for each Christian, we say it after prayer or when we hear somebody asking God for something and express our consent or wish that the God should fulfil somebody’s prayer. Thus, for instance, when somebody asks God to forgive his sins before the tax policy for concealing his incomes, as it is said render to Caesar the things that are Caesar’s or when somebody promises he would never do the same sin any more, a man standing next to you will say - amen, God will hear you. This man is the very amenist as he agrees to the friend’s request and he himself becomes a mediator before the God - he asks the God to forgive his friend.

Do not think that I speak of tax policy; I mean only that am(e)nesty is a good thing. For instance, my grandson Luca received full and unconditional amnesty on March 6. Am(e)nesty was very pleasing to me in these cold spring days. The spring with its blossom of almond tree flowers and its wonderful colour gamut of field roses - 81 -

brings hope. You look for something new, for something or somebody that you have never experienced or seen before.

Nature seems to be born anew and involuntarily it occurs to you that perhaps you could begin everything anew like Luca who was given the chance to live. We should begin everything anew because we have lived through 15-years’ cold winter and have all the time covered ourselves with warm blankets that have not even reached to our genitals, let alone our heels. We were hungry, frozen, neighbours threw stones at us, it was dark and we lived on what we could snatch at. We would not survive otherwise. Certainly, if we run business, we sinned. Especially since 1998. Till that time people could still run legal business and there were many of them then. For instance, in 1992-1993 import was tax-exempt in Georgia by the decree of the Prime Minister, while export and barter were subject to tax. There was certainly no notion of smuggling then. Import was completely legal. For instance, the epoch of change in currency reserves: in 1991- 1993-1995-1996-1998 dealing operations developed similarly and money was made legally. At that time firms registered in Georgia exported metals, iron, oil, etc. from Europe to Russia in re-export regime, but in 1997-1998 the situation changed and winter did not only become cold, but unbearable.

Besides, neighbouring Russia that used to provide us with firewood and feed us after the 1998 crisis has ceased to do so. And we found ourselves thrown to the mercy of fate in the gorge of our tax code. Taxes turned into a web: Vat; Excise; Customs tax; Land tax; - 82 -

Income tax; Trade tax; Ecology tax; Profit tax; Business tax; Advertisement tax; Property tax; Road charges; Healthcare tax; Unemployment tax; Social tax; Tax on the transfer of property; Besides, calculation methods of each of them have changed for 3000 times being constantly exposed to reforms. New codes have been passed two times a month. It was difficult to follow the changes both physically and morally. Nobody can say that in 1999-2000 he made completely legal business. All of us are sinners in this country. That is why the country needs to move forward towards the best future. We should not be burdened with the past, envy, rancour and wish to kill others. Christ’s precepts saying that one should forgive and love fellow creatures must prevail.

This spring at the end of the Lent and before the Easter we should prevail over ourselves and our personal emotions. We should think of changing game rules so that man would cease to be a slave and captive of the system. Economy needs free vision of problems, way of thinking and initiative. Then both the West and East will say Amen to the God in our prayers for prosperous economy, eradication of unemployment, solution of domestic problems and improvement of social state!

However, before anybody tells us amen, we should themselves - 83 -

become amen-ists. We should say that Georgia is an amen-ist country. A country can not be built on rancour and envy. Instead, we can do this by forgiving, supporting and praying for each other. Pray before Easter and be amen-ists. Just think how good it is to be called amen-ist. If you do not believe me, ask the little Luca.

He meets Easter for the first time and he will receive unconditional amn- esty. He is not sinful yet.

March morning and burgeons on the branches are wonderful.

One gets the impression that my country and its economy will blossom in this spring.

When I look into the eyes of little Luca, I believe that he is an amen-ist, and you?

March, Year 2004

MY, OUR OR SOMEBODY ELSE’S GEORGIA All evils and misfortunes begin with “my and yours”. Yet, it started when humankind came into being and one savage said to another in the first cave - it is my place and that prey is ours. Since that time nothing has changed in human’s instincts that we, unlike Pavlov, call interests and not instincts. Nothing has changed except for their wrapping. The more the humankind develops, the more perfect become the wrapping. The constant subject for debates my or our - is a struggle of two great thinkers that has continued till present: the first of them is Plato with his ideal society, Atlantis, unsuccessfully sought by the world till present day (as it might have existed only in Plato’s conscious), with his vision of common property and humanism of mankind based on it; the second one is Aristotle with his realism based on human instincts and aspiration towards private property.

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In all epochs property has been cause for all wars and conflicts, and this subject has not been exhausted till now becoming more current than ever. Property right far exceeds the notion of possessing a certain thing, property - be that land or factory. Perhaps, it is the most incomplete and primitive notion.

I think the main thing is to lead a life of one’s own. This condition is the most complex in its anatomy and hardly attainable. I think it was this that the Great Ilia implied in his words about the formation of civil society where society would consist of free proprietors that would create a territorial and political formation and obtain the right to the greatest property on earth - right to establish taxes. This is the very initial substance explaining everything - global, local, political or economic. All territorial wars and conflicts have been caused by this very property as it is connected with disposal of the wealth obtained from taxation.

Policy consists in determining game rules for establishing tax in economy and disposal of property as well as determination of real proprietor. Thus, policy in local and global scales implies gaining property right for the establishment and disposal of taxes.

The rest is entourage and packaging technology.
The third level of property is right to the possession of natural wealth as the XXI century is an epoch of strained wars for the redistribution of resources. One of my wise friends, Mr. Vladimir Papava, has even recently told me that by 2020 drinking water would become a subject of much more intrigues than oil today. I got much worried as our country would become a sphere of interest for dinosaur countries and no one knows what will happen then ... today our property is only geo-policy for which we are torn into pieces. If we add water resources to this! Our country holds the second or third place in water resources. By this time people who would think and speak in - 85 -

Georgian would become a rarity in Georgia.

Therefore, the keys to economic recovery lie in clarification of property right and it is time to begin with this. Perhaps, we started it long ago and decided whose property we are? I joke, I know that we decided on it and I even know whose we are, and I only asked a question. Yet, let us finally solve it as soon as possible for Georgia will not stand serving both patrons for long. Moreover, three ones.

Once the patron is chosen, let us declare this publicly, as it is not love that, as Rustaveli says, one should conceal. I know it but tell me once again whom we belong to. I know the answer will make me pleased and I will finally be able to say to my country washed with May rains and warmed with timid spring sun that Plato’s and Aristotle’s dispute about my and ours has been solved here in Georgia.

Why are Georgians always first and original in everything?

Yet why not? Let us solve property issue and the problems of country will be settled too. True, I, too, do not belong to myself - this is my grandson’s fault. Kindly let me only know who possesses the right of imposing taxes and whom my country belongs to.

Please, tell me, I will be glad.

April, Year 2004

THEORY OF TAXING THE DEAD Georgia has got wet. May rains have washed away grief, pain, old sins and “new visions” .It is strange and surprising for us that someone in Georgia is engaged in calculation of incomes and earnings of alive people, but it is much more humane than what occurs abroad. Recently I read “Playboy” magazine. Do not laugh, I did that not for admiring beautiful torsos but to read articles on eco- 86 -

nomic problems, and I have found out a very interesting one among them. It appears that abroad, in particular, in London, they calculate not only incomes of alive people, but also (you will not believe) dead. So, for example, in 2003 deceased Elvis Presley had the biggest income - 40 million, John Lennon earned 19 million, his friend Harrison “earned” 16 million lying in a coffin. Dead men make 40 million a year; just imagine what they would do if they were alive!

In a heat of the fiscal reforms which are being carried out in Georgia I reflected on one professional question: what would tax inspectors do if, for example, deceased Elvis Presley didn’t pay the income tax from his 40 million? Probably in England they do not know the answer to this question, but our inspectors know perfectly well what they would do - would dig him out of his grave. In other words, if you bring money you will be buried, if you do not bring it they will get you out of grave. These rainy May days the ground has got wet and it is not difficult to dig out someone from it. As they say, one will not be given rest even in the other world.

Whatever you may say, the western dead men are good fellows unlike our state in which there are about 300 large enterprises that, according to the budget law, in 2004 are going to bring to the country $8 million in all, i.e. half of the sum that Harrison earned last year lying in a coffin and the fifth part of the sum dead Elvis Presley earned. But why our 300 enterprises, the most part of which has strategic importance and is a subject of pride of the whole country, are better than dead Elvis Presley?

There was the time in ancient Rome when taxes were not collected and citizens lived on incomes from the state property.

Thanks God, our country has no hope of incomes from its own property; otherwise we would starve to death. It is very difficult to do business and our state has experienced it itself.

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But why is it so? Isn’t our state a good enough founder and manager? The state controls a huge amount of reserves and money. And time has come for production incomes to constitute the significant part of state revenue. From this point of view almost nothing has changed lately. How can dead John Lennon, let alone Elvis Presley, be better than the whole state?

What a misfortune these rains are! You can’t go outside, and staying at home you may think up a lot. For some reason the incomes of foreign dead men and the scientific - methodological issue of their fiscal effect worries me very much.

Yes, it would be quite good to write a scientific research on this subject. Imagine, even if I make a mistake, who will have legal proceedings with me?

What people these dead men are: more quiet, more diffident, than alive. It was before their death that they were spongers and terrible “cavillers”, but after death everyone becomes quiet and silent, of course, better than many of those alive. Well, is it fair that Elvis Presley died, and some of our industrial complexes, enterprises and their directors are still alive?

I wonder how long the rains will continue. Everything has become covered with mould and moss because of dampness; soon we may become mange. I do not know about people alive, but one cannot complain of dead man.

May, Year 2004

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STORY OF A GEORGIAN WASP AND ECONOMIC SPACE OR GEORGIA FOR SALE Thank God, it has got warm. Not so long ago I was in the country. I lay down under a tree ready to think about a bright future of humankind. I just could not miss such wonderful weather! But, alas, suddenly my air space was intruded by a wasp and like a scampish mother-in-law (or like one journalist on one of the TV channels) it started to disturb my comfort without remorse. I expected such aggression from anyone but a wasp, as I had a clear idea of the species after a certain international parliamentary scandal. What scandal?

Several years ago Italians decided to purchase our nation’s pride, strategically important “honey factory” – they wanted to buy the world’s known and recognized beautiful honeybees. As the matter concerned a strategic unit, it was submitted for ratification to the previous parliament, and there began heated debates (at that time our parliament gathered with its full complement to discuss purchase and sale issues and appointments). In other cases, for instance, during the discussions of main directions of monetary policy the session hall was so empty that once an office-cleaner thought it was a day off and started sweeping and cleaning. But what can one do? It was not their fault that the matter was too difficult and complicated for them. From the didactic point of view, consideration of such topics is unaccept- able in elementary grades. But let us not forget the wasp. The Italians were ready to take into account the strategic importance of our bees and pay 3 dollars for each bee, but Georgian deputies did not agree on less than 5 dollars (no one had thought of the poor bee before the Italians did; the species was on the verge of extinction).

However, since Italians wanted to pay for it and Georgians do - 89 -

not like selling anything (we can easily give anything as a gift, scatter it to the winds, change for accumulated debts like Jerusalem Cross monastery; we can lose something out of inattentiveness or give it to good fellows for nothing, we can do anything but sell).

The debate was spiced with Mexican pepper and Megrelian adjika.

As a result, parliamentary debates around the issue were more severe than the Basiani battle. Deputies said that our bee cost 5 dollars, and Italians suddenly became stubborn like Kakhetians (The people of one of Georgian regions Kakheti, are known for their stubbornness).

An international scandal broke out – oh, our bee, pride of our nation, what forms, what manners and industry! – shouted some deputies. Georgia is being sold, - exclaimed others. Yet, at that time deputies’ statements were quite understandable from economic point of view as a bee, being main production force, might be sold; it has wings, it can fly away to the Apennine peninsula and suddenly, get out of your economic space. The wealth produced by it, its honey, will be enjoyed by some Italians. And we? No, we cannot leave our country in misery. The way out was found by Khuta Mamladze, a wise deputy. He did not offend either Georgians or Italians. He offered to sell to the Italians not bees but no less wonderful and strategically important Georgian wasps for three dollars.

Yet, you know that our wasps are known to be most poisonous.

Honey is too sweet and it might cause diabetes in Italians, but poison of wasps is said to be useful, and what else do we have to do in the parliament but to care for the Italians’ health. Thus, the Georgian pride, national strategic wasp was sold to the Italians. From the viewpoint of economic science, this sale was much peculiar and significant as in this case a wasp goes or flies away from our economic space, and that is why I did not expect a wasp here. I was - 90 -

surprised to see its appearance and aggressiveness this summer in a comfortable fir- grove, in the area saturated with Georgian strategic air. I was not surprised at the aggressiveness of the wasp, but rather at the aggres- siveness of Georgians who started talking on Russian economic landing and on the ways of selling our strategic units – ports and railways, electric power plants or residences – to them.

Russians are ready to invest in Georgia and use to our benefit the wealth they derived from oil. They wish to earn money and create wealth in Georgia as Georgia, being a state, has the right to re-distribute profits (wealth) from any business activity to the benefit of Georgians and Georgia. Yet what shall we do with Georgians who wished to buy the units? If they want to buy them, we should make a buyer register the units as joint stock companies so that they become quoted on the market. Any Georgian or his offspring will buy shares and become a proprietor.

They will buy as much as they can afford. So what’s bitten them?

They wish to have it free of charge, conserve it or sell as scrap metal, spend on debts or scatter to the winds with good fellows, as it was done before; a special group of Georgian experts was formed to study the possibility of selling Poti or Batumi ports or Georgian Railroad out of Georgian economic space. Hypothetically, there is one chance – like the Brainsick (Characters of G. Shengelia film “Brainsicks”), Russians can equip ports and railroads with wings or engine and fly them to their motherland - Kerch or Murmansk (He who has mother-in-law from Poti should get ready for taking visas).

And what if they come like the wasp and flop down somewhere to my fir-grove or to Kakheti? God forbid! Suddenly, I imagined on my head the port that fled from the Georgian economic space and came back like a wasp. I got worried. There it will begin: why the port is here, does it have visa, why it came here at this time. My - 91 -

reflections were interrupted by the sting of the bothersome wasp.

Oh, I was taken away by my thoughts. You do not imagine how pleased I was to find out that I was bitten by a wasp and that there was a wasp, but no port over my head. Money and capital are said to have no motherland. It is not clear why the origin of Russian money is so important. I am not Apollo. Nor am I an apologist of Russia.

I am only a chubby economist, but what has bitten us, Georgians.

If somebody buys our property at real price and invests money in it, the budget will have gains from the investment. We will have peace, territorial integrity and workplaces. What else do we need?

Opponents might say that it is practical, but hypothetically, they may fly away and leave our economic space?! If you wish hypothetically and virtually, you may come to me, we may lie down and idle around, and fed and drunk, reflect on the bright future of humankind. This wasp was good, it still came back!

June, Year 2004

THE THEORY OF THE GEORGIAN CONCEPT OF FREE ASPHALT AND EMPLOYMENT Human is a human when he is free. Freedom is a divine trace in human. Who is free in the Union? - No one. Grigol Robakidze What is a person’s economic freedom and country of free economy – a serious danger for human as a cultural and social originality or the only form of his existence? Does a person need economic freedom? Who were Adam and Eva in Eden – careless slaves who had everything they wanted? They needed neither economy nor freedom of speech nor free economy. They had light, water, roads, but they did not have the main thing – freedom.

This is the thing we have in abundance; instead we do not have - 92 -

all the rest. Thus, we are in the position of Adam and Eva, only the other way round: we have freedom, but no conditions. Yet, we can discern the good from the evil. Instead of freedom we have roads full of holes, like Swiss cheese, with 1234 holes per cubic meter and 345 patches. View from above is such that the sky gets ashamed and continuously rains down on them. The nature entertains itself this way all the summer. It rains constantly, but still roads do not get better. Thus, the most experienced workers of road service here are like jewellers. It is not like abroad where people build wide spacious roads and then have no work for years! Our scientists have developed the theory of permanent employment. We lay roads by means of the so called pin-point blows. Imagine road with 1234 holes for one square meter – the depth of the hole is 1, 4 cubic centimetres. Can you imagine how difficult it is to lay such road!

Beka or Beshken Opizari would find it difficult to make such accurate work. How do you like the idea of asphalt laying into a hole of 1,4 cubic centi- metres, so that it would “easily” come out of it a month later! Some think that asphalt needs no freedom and that it should lie on roads for centuries. Nothing of the kind, my foreign colleagues, by the end of the summer pieces of our plump asphalt also go for a holiday to the sea and get lost as they travel around the world.

That is why we lay other ones instead of them. Thanks to this, our people are always at work. And not only road workers. Cars get out of order and we constantly have to repair them. Thus, we surpass the world’s leading countries in the number of employed repairmen and car repair frequency. We, Georgian economists, have been working out the permanent employment theory and now we are preparing a scientific project for introducing our know-how abroad. Everything is ready except one thing. We do not have one - 93 -

small thing. In parti- cular, it is not clear how we will manage to spoil their well-groomed roads and bring them to our standards.

We hope collaborators of our road service will impart the mystery to us, and we will be able to employ the whole world.

It is incredible, but 70-year old Socrates took to his mouth a cup of poison given to him by an executioner and drank it happily.

There is nothing strange about it – for 70 years he lived on the broken roads of Old Athens. After this it is not even frightful to drink poison. If he had to walk on Georgian roads, use water by schedule once in three days and work at 112.4 voltage, he would be happy to drink poison at the age of 25. If Adam and Eva had to walk on such roads, they would never think of eating the apple.

I will correct our great ancestor; freedom is a divine trace of both human and asphalt, for asphalt also needs to move as well as a human needs to be employed and free. ...

The rain has begun again. New workplaces will appear and we will obstinately get down to laying asphalt by means of the proven point- patch method. We will spend budget funds and employ people. The power of economic theory is really very great, asphalt is sweet, and grand is the power of freedom as well as freedom of asphalt. We have breathed life and movement into it. Hardly the asphalt is laid it disappears. This is the credo, substance and empiric expression of the causal effect of man and asphalt. We have not doomed our asphalt to eternal slavery and boring service on roads, as it is abroad. Instead, the previous asphalt quietly leaves giving way to new one.

Permanent constant rotation continues, and asphalt flies freely away... This is what our humanity has led to!

Freedom is the lot of free people; it could neither appear in the Union nor grow in 10 years or moreover, build free economy.

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It needs time, yet we have grown on methodological and systematic eavesdropping, complaints and discontent, pride and boasting. We have always been a country of generals with chronic deficit of soldiers, but asphalt pavers have always been in abundance here. It is high time for us to grow soldiers. It is fine that our roads do not let us stay alone with ourselves; shaking and quaking they give us no chance of thinking, suffering – one can only have the feeling of vivacity and freedom. It is pity that one realizes the reality of asphalt’s freedom and impracticability of our freedom only when the road ends.

It is raining and pouring again. Rains have once again driven away heaps of asphalt into nowhere. Workplaces will appear again and everything will begin anew... Asphalt is really free, and you?

July-August, Year 2004

WITHOUT GODFATHERS “Free market economy can not exist without complete and true legality, honourable administration, reliable banks and protected private property”. “Freedom (including economic one) without order and justice is anarchy”. Margaret Thatcher, “Public administration science”, I miss you much! Rainy and windy autumn-like summer was left behind, and now we enjoy the rays of summer-like autumn sun. It looks like seasons have changed their essence, yet we, Georgians, remain to be the same. We are still eager for freedom, but justice is perceived in other way, i.e. you are right if you are strong.

We wish to have free economy, but without open and transparent privatization and free foreign investments. We wish to introduce western values here, yet we can not give up family and clan ties, - 95 -

we want freedom, but we do not oppose slavery that exists around us, at work, among friends and partners. If anybody resists enslavement, we sweep him out of our way. We wish freedom for ourselves, but not for people, we want legality for ourselves and not for co-brothers. Private property should belong to no one but us. We are pleased to hear that someone is fined for non-payment of taxes and we resent when we are made to pay. Only we, but no one else need freedom and order. In no way can we understand the meaning of freedom as well as economic one. Justice itself and its honourable defenders exist either for everybody or for nobody. There are no other values and examples of state structure.

Plato said: “To keep watchdogs, who, from want of discipline or hunger, or some evil habit, or evil habit or other, would turn upon the sheep and worry them, and behave not like dogs but wolves, would be a foul and monstrous thing in a shepherd?

And therefore every care must be taken that our auxiliaries, being stronger than our citizens, may not grow to be too much for them and become savage tyrants instead of friends and allies?

In the first place, - says the philosopher, - none of them should have any property of his own beyond what is absolutely necessary ... they should agree to receive from the citizens a fixed rate of pay, enough to meet the expenses of the year and no more”.

(Plato “The Republic”, page). Humankind has long found the way of salvation. Private property is necessary for the existence of state and well-being of people. A state should not regulate business directly, politicians should work on the laws that would make business completely independent from a state, and market will become free for entering and resources will be available for everybody.

These are only words that will mean business only after they are included in budget 2005. Society should not think that present - 96 -

events are unjust as order can be established only in this way, and personal well-being of each of us is dependent on it.

Otherwise, watchdogs are even worse than wolves and they will turn upon the sheep, and this will continue endlessly; fighter with corruption will take bribes, representatives of law enforcement agencies will be the first to break the law and rhetorician who passes laws on freedom will create barriers for business and will afterwards take money for assistance in overcoming the barriers.

We crave for reforms and changes, but as a result of it some of our relatives and friends will lose their jobs or source of corruption, which will, certainly, be much displeasing to us. We will start complaining: - “This reformer is an agent, corruptive person (no one sees beam in one’ eye), bandit”. There will begin backstage wars and quarrels. No one would ever admit to be driven by mercantile interests and care for one’s own pocket. On the contrary – how anyone dared to appoint someone to some position due to his gift and capabilities, how anyone dares to implement economic reforms that serve to cut illegal income sources for us and our relatives, how dares anyone to sell something behind out backs without giving us a share that is due to us; what is free economy without us? Where can this ever be found? In what theory? My dear watchdogs, (these are Plato’s words, I would not myself dare to address you so) there starts a new era in Georgia. Law is for all, freedom for all, privatization without friendship and relations, economy and business without roofs and corruption, politics without bribes and Georgia without godfathers.

You still exist, but justice is, as usual, only Sophocles’ farce and tragedy. Your relatives are still appointed to positions through your telephone calls, you still weave plots and destruct a great deal of innocent people who do not wish to obey you and who have no - 97 -

authoritative persons.

Yet, a new era started in Georgia. Do you think this does not concern you? No, this concerns everybody. These are performances about reforms written in accordance with old scenario, it is a game of democracy and market economy with the wealth of the whole country being concentrated in the hands of dozens of families. Free market is a panacea for Georgia just like justice and New Year come on December 31. Then there will be no places left for those like you. You will still remain dogs, but no one would entrust a herd to you. Are you offended? Well, I beg your pardon. Freedom is everything. It is something that is worth living for – economic freedom and justice, it is Georgia as a country with western valuables that spread among all Georgians as well as among dogs. Sunny, plenteous and joyous autumn is beauti- ful, but it becomes more beautiful when you learn that a herd is not tended by dogs in wolf skins, but noble and proud Georgian Caucasian sheep dogs.

September, Year 2004

ABOUT “HENPECKING” ECONOMIC CATEGORY -Yet many a gem lies hidden still Of whom no pick-axe, spade, or drill The lonely secrecy invades; Bodler I was preparing for a long-waited conversation with you, my educated and intellectually gifted readers, when suddenly the light went out (God bless people who turned it off. The atmosphere became even more cozy and intimate. Only my laptop screen emitted light, and thoughts about the future of humankind and working masses came to my old, wrinkled brain. And then understood what - 98 -

a nightmare this electricity was – you pay money for it and it shines shamelessly into your eyes and chains you to TV screen and plenty of night shows transmitted by all channels so that you cannot take your eyes off. Electricity is very harmful for thinking, let alone demography). It is no big deal, you might say. But, please, do not hurry. This was why my muse visited me!

Electricity went out and muse came! Suddenly at night with the sun shining and the moon falling asleep today, I thought of different treasures and remembered Bodler’s words. I do not know what the great poet meant, but I was thinking about the treasures of our earth as well as energy resources, minerals and other treasures.

Georgia is a rich country!

We have a little bit of everything. If our country had natural economy, this would last us for the whole life. However, we remain to be poor with there being globalization everywhere. I remembered that there was plenty of oil in Saudi Arabia, but 30% of population is unemployed and 60% has no education let alone creative and cultural level. True, the royal family of the country has a 180-billion capital in the US, but what do people have to do with it?

The matter is in laziness! Take, for instance, our friendly country Japan. They have no treasures in the earth, but they have them in their head. And a question occurred to me about where our part of treasures was hidden here in Georgia? Have you ever thought of it? Economics scientists speak about capitalized geopolitics and transit. Someone has discovered oil on the bottom of the Black Sea and in desert. But there is also Borjomi and Marganese.

There is no limit to the polemics of scientists about the potential of our country; but can we call treasures things that are hidden 20,000 meter deep under earth? May be not yet. We have treasures on surface, too: water, earth, air, etc.

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Here electricity was turned on. Its ignorance is so annoying that it gives one a headache. As for head... That is where Georgian treasures are concealed – in head, brain, and consciousness. Here is our salvation! We are reasonable, gifted so that we can turn the whole world over, but we conceal it carefully. We are not afraid of strangers, but of our people because if someone turns out to be cleverer than others he will be “henpecked”, as our great writer said. As all of us are clever, we constantly and mercilessly “henpeck” each other. The recipe of our salvation is said to be concealed in education, free economy and market system, in territorial integrity, but not in envy and hatred to neighbours, in arrogance and mutual hostility!

We must stop being at enmity with each other as Georgian gene is unique, it can even render a stone habitable and make the whole world surprised!

The greatest discovery of Adam Smith (for your information, he was head of customs in Scotland), the greatest economist of all epochs, was that human being was a knot of passions. He called the passions egoism, i.e. private interest. All his further research was based on this theory.

We are the same people, but we reveal the passion in interrelations with each other. It is our national peculiarity. We give more thought to taking our revenge on somebody, destructing, taking something from somebody, squealing, defaming, arresting somebody, doing someone harm than to the way of building something in the future. That is why we are not free and we have a little bit of everything as well as a little bit of electricity. We meet God knows who with outstretched arms, but we reproach our neighbours. Such are customs of hospitality.

We imitate and copy all strange and foreign things, but we destruct ours. We are children of our time. If we stop “henpecking” - 100 -

each other, we find our treasures (in each other) that are hidden in the consciousness of each Georgian, and the country will start recovering. There is so much hatred in us that sometimes I think that Orthodox religion has not reached us.

We started to make first steps, declared financial amnesty, started to appreciate Georgian business and support domestic investments. At the same time, we try to carry our reforms in economy and education fields, but the main thing is, probably, a mental metamorphosis, i.e. reform of consciousness. As scientists say, it is the most complex and lasting kind of reforms as a result of which a human becomes internally free and creatively-minded when economy becomes led by private property and initiative. At it turns out that striving to mutual “henpecking” is an integral part of the reform. Otherwise we find ourselves in a vicious circle – we have treasures in our head, in our consciousness and talent, but one cannot reach it with a shovel because we are afraid of each other and are hiding it since we know that the poet said “no one knows anything about a partridge until it flies up”. We will not get rid of it till we have implemented other reforms. But still what should we begin with? What should we attach a prerogative to? Yet we need the treasures like air.

Electricity went out. Again different thoughts occur to me. This time I decided to think of mutual henpecking as economic category and its role in the issues of economic safety.

Where our treasures are really concealed – in head, earth or...?

October, Year 2004

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CONTEMPORARY MODERNISTIC THEATRE OR SHOW CALLED “TENDER PERFORMANCE” We have borrowed much from abroad, we develop. We often use the word “free market”, “transferable business politics”, “competitive environment”, etc. that remind of a famous Georgian film character’s words – “you may, but you may not”. In our case market is free, but it is not free. Against this background we introduced tender as an element of free competitive market. What is tender? – It is a performance with many parts that are written as a script of a Columbian TV serial according to one scheme, i.e. there is backbone plot in the form of laws on purchases and often after specific scenes heads of state and private organizations and their “apparatchiks” write the script according to the topic of the show.

The finale is known. He who “settles” a deal with a show producer or director wins. It is like in Hollywood – it is claimed that if one wishes to receive a role there, one should, as minimum, give a share to an agent and at least once give “something else” to the producer.

Therefore, we observe all international norms.

The difference is only that our participation costs 500 laris and we have no result. We spend time and money to draw up documents and take part in the show. It is a modern theatre where a performance is staged on economic subject: profit is obtained by a producer and one of participants who gave something to the producer and agents.

A number of specialists are involved in the process to show that everything goes in accordance with the script: for instance, most computers are produced in China, Taiwan and Korea. You can give any name to the techniques, for instance, your mother-in-law’s name – Zhuzhuna or your girl-friend’s name – Angelika.

Maintenance of computers, warranty dates or data are absolute- 102 -

ly the same. If you wish to win in a performance called “tender”, you should write a famous brand name on it even if it has “made in China” label. Accordingly, you should write a script. Producer conceals dialogues and requirements to the end of the show, and no one knows what he really wants and finally, as it is in the “Wonderlands” TV show a box is opened and a winner is declared without explaining any reasons. Why? What is most important, an organization often purchases things that it often does not need proceeding from its objectives. You offer a script yourself and it turns out that the organisation needs quite other things. But, really, everything looks good – both style and plot are preserved. A state or an owner of the firm pays 30-40% more for the dull performance. But the main thing is that market is free and competitive. It is said - “give Caesar what belongs to Caesar”. Will you ask me if this time has passed now? No, it did not pass. Imagine, the time did not even fall asleep. On the contrary, it feels very fresh. Georgian producers and participants from the USA have recently received invitation to take part in a theatre festival to stage a performance called “Georgian tender” arranged by a group of producers. It is claimed that all tickets have already been sold and that Europe has never seen such tragic and exquisite performance.

Free economy, competitive environment and performances on economic subject – “Georgian tender” – are a good thing. The time will come when Hollywood will stage films in accordance with our script. Where else might they see such plot? God help makers of free economy and tender-show!

Everything is done very interestingly and with interest.

November, Year 2004

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COUNTRY OF PROFESSORS AD PHILOSOPHERS To tell you the truth I, plump and chubby man, was going to speak on humorous things, for instance, about ice city, laser new year, the New Year jocundity of Georgian feasts and ... in short, about “super light” things, but alas, thoughts come even on these Christmas days and make one think about something very serious.

I remembered an anecdote: people of Guria decided to declare war on our close neighbour China. The whole Guria gathered and discussed strategy and tactics (they have a grudge against it since the times of Pipinia’s Port Arthur). Gurians arranged everything thinking that success was guaranteed, but suddenly Spiridon spoke up: “All right, we kill them and win, but where do we bury so many people?” All right, we implemented the higher education reform according to which a 23- year old greenhorn becomes a professor as soon as he (greenhorns are in fashion now) completes magistracy.

Then you might inquire about our present 70-year old professors?

They will also be professors as well as 30-40 year old candidatures of science.

God bless you, we should overtake progressive developed countries at least in something.

At the same time, the doctors who have never heard of Kant will become philosophers (by the way, damnatory of our economy saw Kant in paradise, I mean his excellent works). Hence, all of us will be professors and philosophers. Professorship will lose its value. What is bad in it? Nothing, the whole civilized world lives in the same way, but the name will be long and difficult.

For instance, associate professor of Feast faculty in Shukri Turmanidze (all Universities and Institutes in our country bear somebody’s name) Keda-Khuloshuakhevi Special University Tedo Zhorzholiani. How can one remember such a long name, yet you - 104 -

might have troubles if you make a mistake in it. All holders of master’s degree and assistant professors will receive good present for New Year: they will soon become professors if they make deal in dean’s office. There is more autonomy and freedom, what else do we need? Do you want to become a professor? You can become one.

But like the problem of Guria and China, where do so many professors go? It is a good and honourable thing. We encourage people to become professors, but instead we oppress them in scientific degrees. For instance, if one defended thesis in 1937 or 1963 (my birth date) about the peculiarities of social competition and economic effect on well-being of middle-aged population of Zemo Chkorotsku area or for instance, the well-known doctoral thesis on economic problems relating to the early digging of tea in mountainous Sachkheri in 1967-72 (the years are correct. Since that time in Shevarnadze’s period correspondence started and no one dug and this important problem lost its actuality), then according to the new law he would be a doctor and the one who defended Ph. D. thesis in October 2004 on actual modern subject will become nothing! Is it justice? And if old doctors do not represent doctors of new philosophy, where should new doctors defend their thesis.

Georgia will be left without doctors, i.e. to sum up, Georgia will become a country of philosophers and professors and with these indices it will leave behind such educated countries as Korea and Japan since 2005. Why not – such is Georgian spirit: they want either everything or nothing.

Where before we were God Mother’s country, now we turn into a country of professors. How can one remember so many regalia and where do so many professors go? If we have a great deal of vacancies, why not making the candidatures into doctors?

If it is a boom, let it be a boom. If it is not so, they will declare - 105 -

hunger-strike (hunger will be useful for some people, while many have been starving for 15 years all the same). If we consider the state of our economy and budget, the salary will still remain at 50 laris and in Georgia where the art of swearing and cursing reached its renaissance, a new form will be established: cursing will sound like this - your son-in-law will be a professor and swearing will be like – go away, you, professor, etc.

Was not it light. I congratulate you, children of professor country, on Christmas. I hope you will avoid grave fate of professors in 2005.

December, Year 2004

2005 - IS A YEAR OF UPTURNS? There have been many innovations in economy: tax code, financial amnesty, new deregulation package, entry of many large investors onto our market and another important stage of integration into Europe and NATO. Naturally enough, the amnesty will serve to toughen the degree of tax bodies’ administration. As a matter of fact, the articles of the new code concern all citizens in different senses. Thus, Georgian business community needs much encouragement as well as economic, legal support and consulting to prevent business from being lost in investors’ racing.

Education reform and enforcement of law on science is of much importance for economic science. From this point of view, young and elderly scientists need substantial arena, as well as advertisement and informational support of the same education reform.

Hence, we decided to implement a new project with the new partner? Chamber of Commerce and Industry? And to completely - 106 -

change the style, attach attention to the support of businessmen and consideration of their problems. We should point to their problems and concerns. In each publications of the journal we will consider issues of tax code, government’s economic reform and business establishment, among them such issues as the ways of creating and managing companies, book-keeping, obtaining a credit in banks, attracting investors and studying market. The journal will include free economic and legal advice, assistance in practical work and search for jobs as well as for qualified specialists. In the education column we will highlight problems related to science and higher education, and we will help persons wishing to receive education abroad. We will facilitate in retraining people who lost their jobs and wish to change profession. Jointly with the Chamber of Commerce and Industry we will offer them the chance of participating in international exhibitions to make it possible for them to widely advertise their goods and services in order to find partners.

Of much importance is consideration of each European integration- related problem and identification of our businessmen’s role and place within the integration. We hope we will be able to help you in this difficult stage of economic reforms and to support Georgian business in gaining a large market segment.

To realize the targets effectively, we formed “Institution of Free Economy” jointly with the Chamber of Commerce. The institution will do its best to become a centre for economic development, business support, population’s economic education and employment, discovery of new markets and investments, and approaching European structures. We will work for you and Georgia.

January, Year 2005

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STORY ABOUT MEDEA’S TRAGEDY AND JONJOLI INDEX For though woman be timorous enough in all else, and as regards courage, a coward at the mere sight of steel, yet in the moment she finds her honour wronged, no heart is filled with deadlier thoughts than hers. Euripides “Medea” Exchange rate of lari strengthens against dollar and falls against Jonjoli Professor Misha Jibuti is really strange, if there is Big Mac index, why should not there be Johnjoli index? Perhaps, it is favourite food of a small country’s noble people that unlike Big Mac makes no one fat? And what? Time will come and the world fighting with fatness will start eating jonjoli that is very useful and has few calories. Jonjoli index is still young. Misha Jibuti brought the index to life only a few years ago, and it does not yet stand firm on its feet, but strikes the whole population like a whip.

Inflation is said to make up 5.5%. The five is, certainly, a good number, but what is its meaning? Everything depends on against what and in what case. Here everything starts all over again. I have recently gone hunting to the Aragvi Gorge. To tell you the truth, my friend and I have for a long time trampled down the snow, breathed cold air, but found nothing but TU-154 flying over us.

How could we start shooting at it, moreover, there was a foreign flag on it, hence the matter might turn into an international scandal.

Upon returning to a cabin, we were met by Valeri, a local inhabitant and our friend, who in rough-and-ready fashion roasted pork and washed it down with vodka that had been imported from Tbilisi to Choporti. I resented: “Where are beasts lost?” - To this Valeri answered with sad smile that people had nothing to eat; some died - 108 -

of hunger, others went abroad ? Let alone beasts. I say that there are berries and something of the kind in the woods. He says that here forest berries are usually given to children and women to eat.

Sometimes your mouth is even watering at green leafs. There is nothing for local people, not to mention others. But how, - I persisted, - you work and you do something (according to statistical data, 1 200 000 people are unemployed in Georgia). Indeed, - Valeri says, - indeed, we do something. We get up in the morning, it is cold, there is neither electricity, nor food, but my wife still manages to scratch up something for children, and I look from afar with my mouth watering. God help you that you came here hunting, as I have not eaten anything for a week. If one sells a box of apples one buys 10 litres of petrol, and we also pay for electricity. If I sell a pig in Tbilisi , I buy a sack of bran. And to grow up a pig we spent five sacks of bran.

When I listened to him, I recalled to my mind Jonjoli index.

This peasant spoke honourable about tough economy as a good economist, and he was right. I explained to him that business was legalized, smuggling was eradicated and budget revenues increased, pensions were now paid out and reforms would start, economy would recover and everything would be good. “When this happens, beasts will appear again”, - answered the peasant.

While he was complaining of his life, I caught eye of a huge pipe. “What is it”, - I asked? He said that it was Trans Caucasian gas pipeline that was going to be sold, but we did not allow it to. I wondered: - “Why. This pipe has long been here, it is old and you might hardly have any use of it. If it is sold, the country will have gas, money and many problems will be solved”. He answered: “Yes, but I will not sell it to Russians, because they contradict our political tastes. It is our strategic unit and our wealth”. I ask: “What is - 109 -

more important to you, your children who have no gas, you yourself starving because there are no jobs or who will be the pipeline owner? Besides, no one would heap the pipeline onto shoulders and carry it away. It will remain lying in Georgia and serving Georgians. “I’d rather let my children die than sell the pipe...”

Again I called Medea to mind. I do not know whether Euripides invented it or she really got angry with her children and husband and killed them. I looked at the peasant and wondered what he had in common with Medea, only origin?

On my way back to the village, my friend and I were accompanied by Valeri. Wonderful fields and meadows stretched out in front of us. A forsaken farm was seen somewhere in the distance and a bit farther there were messy stacks and forsaken orchards. ?

The places look so affluent!? I uttered my thoughts. ? “What is the use of it? – The peasant says. “All this requires good care”. - “And what about you yourself? - I asked. “You have so great prospects here. You should not always lay hopes on the government. You should not think that everything will somehow be settled and the state will help to feed hungry wives and children”.

My dear compatriots know well how many kilowatts of electric power comes to Georgia, which units work, how many stations we have, what happens in “Alaverdi” and “Kavkasioni”. They know well how much we owe for gas and the way negotiations are held with the Gasprom, but they also know that we do not have enough pressure in gas pipelines and that price of flour, cigarettes, drinks and petrol increased. They have never eaten Big Mac and have never heard of any inflation, but they know that jonjoli price rose.

They do not want to go back home, they do not want war, but they know that their children need clothes and meals, that there should be warmth and light in their houses, and they themselves need jobs - 110 -

to pay for it.

Although, theory of jonjoli index has not yet been written, yet if you want to make sure you can go to the Aragvi Gorge. There you will learn everything without any theories; you will be taken hunting and sent home with empty hands, without any prey, but instead with a heap of heavy thoughts.

February, Year 2005

GEORGIANS HAVE INVENTED A NEW WEAPON - or we will not give food to cold war instigators? We will give them “Saperavi” to drink The Lent has started. All Orthodox Christians and naturally enough, all Georgians have special mood. As far as we know, red wine is so holy for us that we identify it with Christ’s blood, and we drink it during the Holy Communion ritual to expiate our sins. Red wine has been a sign of closeness to the God from time immemorial, as it is one of components of communion service. Hence, if there is no wine, we will remain without communion. It has always been the worst curse in Abkhazia and in the whole of Megrelia: “Papash ziareba vamortchishabadasia”, i.e. meaning “Leave the world without communion”.

Georgian-Russian relations have become strained. Russia does not wish to give up its imperialistic ambitions openly declaring it.

Nor Georgia agrees to give up its independence and the wish to access the NATO and European Union. Russia starts cold war policy by daily bombings, gas supply interruptions and threats of internal war. What should Georgians do? Russian has modern weapons, and their technologies are unfamiliar to us. Thus, Georgians recalled to their minds the old phrase -We will not give khinkali to cold war instigators. And there it started? Georgians decided to leave Rus- 111 -

sians without communion!

90% of Georgian red wines go to Russia and with this market being the main consumer of Georgian wines, the cold war instigators will not drink our “Khvanchkara”, “Saperavi”, “Odjaleshi”, “Mukuzani” and “Otskhanuri”. We substituted them for water, spirit and dyestuff, and as there is no communion without red wine, Russians will remain without it - so they fast in vain. True, they make our life a misery, but we will give them no rest in paradise. They cannot take their nuclear bombs and gas or their imperialistic ambitions to the other world (I hope we will not be their neighbours there). Yet, considering the opinions of Georgian experts (there are plenty of them) and politicians (oh and they are even more), Georgia is full of falsified wines, only dyed water and spirit is exported, we lose strategic branch, Chile and France outstripped us, not to mention Australia. But experts do not seem to know that it is meant for our security: Georgians have invented a new weapon - falsified wines. Fierce struggle against foes is waged in two directions: for one thing, cold war instigators will never drink “Saperavi” and “Khvanchkara”, and for another thing, they will never receive communion and they will have a bad life if not in this world, but, at least, in afterlife.

It is a superbly noble purpose, but who will appreciate the efforts? It has always been like this. Great deeds have never been appreciated in any countries and times.

Yet, our farmers spend much effort on making this heavenly liquid: expensive fuel and chemicals, low purchase price for grape.

Then there comes fermentation (let our enemies ferment with bullets). Should we give the juice of vine to them to let them get drunk and make threats at us? Nothing of the kind! Let them gulp down spirits and dyestuffs! Let them remain without communion, and we - 112 -

see if Russians will still be in the mood of getting sulky like turkeys.

Yet, turkey is a good bird. What if it has no brains, instead it has good meat. And they also have plenty of it.

I was informed on the conception in Metekhi by organizers of a conference of recently formed World Wine Falsifiers’ International Association. The topic of the conference was: “The role of falsifiers in security of the country”.

I was delighted: one cannot even imagine a better punishment for cold war instigators. It turned out that 90% of Georgian red wine on the market is falsified 3-dollar wine. Oh poor fellows, they will never know the taste of Saperavi, and these very sinful people will leave the world without communion.

It is wonderful!

By the instruction of the President, the Prime Minister Nogaideli has recently passed an order on the elaboration of a strategic plan against falsification. The Chamber of Commerce got involved in it.

The president of the Commerce Chamber Jemal Inaishvili invited wine-makers for participation in the joint programme and crusade against falsification.

Yet, they do not seem to know the security concept; otherwise they would change their minds. Instead, this concept is well familiar to some Georgian “patriot” wine-makers. They make holy war on Russia. They spend the whole day in their plants and look to it that their neighbours should remain without communion. It is a purely partisan war with the use of a new weapon. Everything is good, but what about the irreparable damage to Georgian economy? Yet Instead, Russians will go to the other world without communion, and they will die without tasting true “Odjaleshi”. Besides, the weapon proved so effective that we started selling patents to Ukraine, Baltic countries and the whole Europe.

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Scientists work on the perfection of the weapon, and when I am invited to the second International Congress of Falsifiers, I will let you know novelties. I wish you good Easter and the Lord spare “noble” falsifiers, as they do not know what they do.

March, Year 2005

ABOUT GEORGIAN OIL BUSINESS AND OPEC WAR It’s incredible, but the fact is that a special meeting has recently been convened in OPEC headquarters (international oil cartel). The meeting dealt with oil business in Georgia and the danger threatening oil prices and positive trends in the world’s oil business.

It is really past laughter, and I will try to impart certain details to you. At the end of April and in early May Alan Grinspan, as he earlier promised, increased the rate by 0.25% to annual 3%. As a result, the exchange rate of dollar against Euro strengthened and stabilized at 1.294 instead of earlier 1.3102. The European bank left this measure without response and maintained the rate at the level of annual 2% - in the first half of 2005. The growth of rate in US was 3.1%. The rate is 0.7% lower against that of last year’s fourth quarter, but much higher than the similar indicator of 1.8% in the Euro Union countries. Alan Grinspan is supposed to increase the rate up to 4% till the end of the year resulting in the dollar’s growth up to 1,25 Euro, since the Central Bank of the European Union is not going to increase the rate. I am telling you about this in serious as downward trend of oil prices observed at the end of April has lasted till present. According to all calculations, since OPEC has increased oil produc- tion up to 29.9 million barrels a day, Russia has increased the indi- cator by 11%, now making up 3,9 mln barrels a day, and on top of all, 2.2. mln. barrels a day are produced above - 114 -

Iraqi quota - all this is a guarantee that oil prices will decrease and business activity in the US will grow. In the meantime, incredible commercial oil reserves have been created. This was what the countries did in the course of 2004. The oil reserves made up 324.4 million barrels in the US only. This means that if no conditions impeding the oil price growth arise, the oil prices might reach 35-38 dollars per barrel. The world man- aged to curb the growth of oil prices and increase business activity.

And that’s what happens in Georgia in the meantime: in 2002, the petrol prices were at the level of 1,2 laris per litre, in 2003 - 1,25 and in 2004 - 1,3. Today, petrol price is 1,58 laris. The dynamics obser- ved in our country is shocking. Oil prices play a multiplicating role in the general system of prices, and their increase is imminently, in two-three months’ time, followed by the growth of essential goods prices. This leads to the fact that now meat costs 8 laris and price of cheese is no less than 7.5-8 laris. Besides, growth of oil prices is inversely proportional to business activity. It is noteworthy that with oil prices reaching 60 dollars in the world market, petrol prices re- mained unchangeable in our country. Yet, after world oil prices declined by 20%, the oil prices jumped by 20% in our country.

The OPEC meeting in Geneva did its best to explain this wonder. They cannot understand why oil business in our country develops in inverse direction to the world trends. Besides, as Geneva meeting participants said, petrol prices growth has been followed by growth of petrol consumption. Representatives of European Commission said, up to now cars have been imported to Georgia from Europe, but now our compatriots “skim the cream” off American auctions.

The given situation was described as the war waged by Georgia - 115 -

against OPEC as this organization steadily struggles for price decrease (if it does not, Saudi Arabia will increase oil output and will finally knock down prices, which will be much losing for them), but Georgian businessmen struggle for price increase. What will the rest of the world say to it that Georgians buy petrol at such a high price? If Georgians buy, why others should not do it, - they will say it and try to increase the prices, but might suffer big losses as revolt might rise. These are the problems facing OPEC. But Georgian business- men are not much worried by it, they are not going to abandon the trend and their purpose is that by the end of the year petrol price in Georgia should become much higher than in Europe - we should outstrip Europe in something at least. There is nothing to say - they might be right. At this stage, OPEC’s extraordinary meeting ended in no result as Georgian oil businessmen did not give up their positions. I do not know when OPEC’s meeting is going to be held on this issue, but our oil businessmen will not for the world give up high pet- rol prices, rather a hungry wolf would give up a sheep. Though, it is much easier for a sheep - it will be eaten up without batting an eye- lid, but our “petrol businessmen” will skin us gradually. And then you will have only yourself to blame.

P.S. According to statistics, in our country a petrol tank costs one month’s salary - 100 laris.

April, Year 2005

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ADVERTISMENT MIRACLES IN GEORGIA OR EVERYTHING IS POSSIBLE IN THIS COUNTRY Advertisement miracles in Georgia or everything is possible in this country. It’s a miracle but a new era begins in Georgia. To see these miracles, it’s not necessary to go to Alice’s wonderland (maybe this land is here too), all you have to do is switch in electricity (if you have it, of course) and everything will be explained to you. For example, if you want to have iron teeth, which cut like milling cutter and treat wood like machine tool, it’s enough to use “Colgate” tooth- paste! It’s a new “know how!” A technological revolution...

Or if you want to “pick up” a girl, chew “Orbit” and she’s yours!

Since this chewing gum had been invented, top models and tender women strengthened their bodyguard because of their fright of someone’s “Orbit” odour and don’t allow anyone to approach them; they say that it has a stronger effect than “Viagra”. Or it’s enough to drink “Sprite” – the chemical magic powder with sugar - and your wonders begin, you become very “tough” and self-confident. What can Natakhtari water and Agara sugar do in this respect? If you don’t believe, watch the advertisements. The next wonder – “Sauna Belt” – put it on and in 10 minutes you’ll melt for 2 cm. But if you happen to forget to take it off and leave it for a night, the next morning you will look like Osvencim prisoner!

I say nothing about the appearance of a new cable channel that is called “Chat channel” and it is frankly written there: “You want love”.

It’s startling how “pleasure” fell in price. Just send an SMS to the number 10-70 and you will have plenty of it.

It is written on one cigarette brand – “smoke and feel the American soul” (today there are many of those who wish to do it), and they smoke this cigarette and then look for this soul! We ask them: did you feel the soul? They answer that they didn’t yet, but they are still hoping!

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Or take advertisement slogan of “Davidoff” cigarettes – “Know much more”; there is no need in books and computers - smoke “Davidoff” and you’ll know much more and soon may become Einstein!

It is written in the Jewish “Torah” – “Don’t lend your friend money with interest”. And there is a wonder – Georgian banking sector and some businessmen were inspired by it and announce interest free credits and interest free instalments. There is much more written in the “Torah”, but who reads the “Torah” to the end? Even SMSs are not read to the end! The volume of the interest is included in the price of goods and here are your interest free instalments.

My old friend Shukri Turmnanidze had been brushing his teeth with “Colgate” paste for one year, then he wanted to break a brunch of a cherry tree and left all his 32 teeth on it, and now he is still being treated. My other aristocrat friend Zhorzholiani is walking with “Sauna Belt”, his stomach is about to burst and he has gained 32 cm. Gia Ruadze is still smoking “Viceroy” in hope of feeling of the American soul! He’s like Elios – is waiting again and again may be what is said in the advertisement will come true some day?

They are looking at these wonderful phrases believing them and are happy and deceived.

Today this is called “wonders of the advertisement business” and a lot of money is made on it, my dear friends, and, of course, at your expense, and this kind of wonders cannot be found even in Alice’s wonderland.

By the way, a new product appeared on the market of these happy people – on mail.ru web site – you’ll be taught English in a week without English – just pay 150 000 USD and the next week you’ll be able to speak to anybody in perfect English. On top of all, they are looking for dealers in Georgia – that’s what we need to be absolutely happy!

Georgia is a wonderful country and the advertisement business is a magic one.

June, Year 2005 - 118 -

IN REMEMBRANCE OF ACADEMICIAN VASIL CHANTLADZE In eighties of 20th century the students of Tbilisi State University had two idols: Vasil Chantladze and Paata Gugushvili – the people who often passed ahead of the epoch, burnt with national spirit, devotedly and with love served the science and the cause of students’ education.

They were our esteemed coryphaei.

It was 1981. Young people from all over Georgia, with sparkling eyes and fulfilled dreams, have just sat at the desks at the University and are waiting for something new and important that will let them feel that this is the University of Javakhishvili and Gogichaishvili. Here the door opens and there enters a short old man with a promising and kind smile radiating an unusual warmth. He starts speaking about finances with Rustaveli, he looks for greatness in our roots. With an unusual excitation he speaks about financial and economic reforms of King David the Builder, and about the system which he created along with Chkondideli. He goes still deeper to the foundations of finance and credit system of ancient Kolkhida and will touch upon the mechanisms of their regulation. Each of his lectures is a new intrigue against the background of Soviet finances. Considerable details of Georgian statehood, our great history, background, inspiration, independent and progressive country, the foundation of which is finances; we had and governed it for a long time, and we will by all means create and govern this kind of state in the future.

Frequent discussions on finances’ functions, but behind this are often forbidden scientific labyrinths, problems and unanswered questions... books and sources, now scattered everywhere, but forbidden at that time, and touching upon them was a shock to - 119 -

the students. This extraordinary man aroused in us ideas that our homeland is not the Soviet Union, that Georgia is a country of ancient science and culture, and that “The Knight in a Tiger Skin” is not only a story which we were taught at school, but a historical treatise on the politics and economics of that time. Non-party academician that was unimaginable then, was tenderly cultivating in us a feeling of national self-consciousness, and the principles of Georgian science and finances as the basis of the state’s independence.

He was meticulously selecting talented young people, and in each of them he was searching for not only the giving for science and research, but, very often, he taught them how to live, be free, and have a feeling of national self-consciousness.

With special fondness he treated students from province. I was one of students from Abkhazia. He often invited me to dinner, madam Dzabuli and their numerous guests taught me etiquette. She was always very tactful and never reproved openly. For him and his family members, all good students were like their own children. He regretted that his son had not become an economist. He used to say: “I wonder who Tengiz has taken after”. Deep in our heart we all answered that he took after his father since he himself was a real humorist. If he felt that the students were tired of complex financial matters, he immediately enlivened them with his perfect humour.

It was so, even when we worked in his large home library. He always spared time for studying books and themes of other senior scientists, a discussion would start on terminology, and generally on the foundations of Georgian economic school. We never missed anything in order to learn the art of discussion, what rhetoric was, and how to win in the discussions. He gave much attention to the work on the material, and the culture of writing. Having a titanic patience he taught us to express our ideas briefly and exactly, how - 120 -

to put a question correctly, proceed from general to concrete, from simple to complex, and clearly and vividly bring it to the audience.

“If there is a talent – it is wonderful, but its correct application, bringing of your ideas to the audience, to scientific circles is more wonderful”, - he often told us.

He was simultaneously educating his students as financiers, researchers, free personalities, and as people with exquisite manners, since he used to say that even if you are a good financier but a bad person you have no love and national self-consciousness in your heart, you will not solve any issues on earth. He was really noble and peaceful; he had a character of a real Christian with a soul of a knight. He tore with a smile anonymous letters against him, which were very widespread then. He promoted and blessed his enemies and those who cursed him, giving us an example of how you should live according to the Bible.

Refined and exquisite intelligent he distinguished himself with his clothes and manners. He was always calm and balanced. His principle was: “Jupiter, are you angry? You are wrong!” He worked with postgraduate students individually and with special thoroughness. He did not leave me without his attention even for a minute in spite of the fact that I was Gedevan Khelaia’s postgraduate student.

Each chapter, each question we were discussing in his library in the evenings. He engaged other postgraduate students as well and there was serious discussions and criticism. A man of great talent and energy, a wonderful pedagogue, he, even in the extreme old age, did not lose interest to research work and capacity for work. Till the end of his life he kept his humour and aristocratic refinement.

I remember presentation of my thesis in 1989 (then dissertations were considerable, rare, and difficult, especially so called “closed subjects”). He was the head of the board. I was quite young – 26 - 121 -

years old and was very upset when I looked around the hall and did not find many of my “friends and colleagues” there. Because of my lack of experience it reflected on my face. Before the presentation had started he called me up and told me the words that are with me all my life: “You are offended and you feel pain, aren’t you? – Quite right, - I said, - know that science is a talent haunted by envy. That is why there is a lot of spite, especially among the economists. Your colleagues will tell you everything that you are a good fellow, good friend, from a good family, with a good upbringing, but they will never tell you: “This man is a good and talented scientist. That is why you should often look upon your life with humour or it will tread you down”.

Up to this moment my generation tries to turn all his instructions into the rules of our life, and keep firmness even when life treads us down and be patient towards our enemies just to do the main thing – our business!

Mr. Vasil Chantladze was a titan and phenomenon of Georgian economic and state life, and those are lucky who were led by this legend.

July, Year 2005

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MURPHY LAW A unique discovery of scientists concerning immune exclusiveness of Georgians, and Murphy Law. Believe it or not, not long ago the experts of Columbian University laboratory, after difficult and jittering experiments, came to a sensational conclusion: the Georgians who gave Europe a first man (according to the latest archaeological excavations in Dmanisi) distinguish themselves by unique features – they eat and drink everything that walks, crawls, and moves. They have come to this conclusion based on the analysis of the produce that is exported and produced there. According to their statement, the Georgians have such a big immune base that they have liquidated all controlling institutions – standards, metrology, gave up technical specifications, and amalgamated veterinary service with customs. No butterflies or this kind of creatures represent any danger for them. They with pleasure eat sausage that contains at best 20% of meat or does not contain it at all, or drink coffee mainly containing dye stuffs and chemicals, and they see Nescafe coffee only in TV advertisements, that is why ageing from meat eating and complications from caffeine are not in store for them.

According to the scientists, in Georgia, as early as in 1950s during the soviet period, quality and standards control system was intro- duced. And starting from 1970 there took place its systematization and a so called State Standard was introduced. Besides that ministries and industries had their own standards, and the country’s pride – “Made in USSR” sign and a pentagonal quality mark were intro- duced as well. It was a source of corruption and the party punish- ment. But the State Standard inscription can still be seen on many products. They think about the international standards but a similar system has existed in independent Georgia as - 123 -

well, it has been a long time since new laws and by-laws have been passed but the system was the same. The Georgians took a decision to reform this sphere, but after prolonged discussions they came to a conclusion that it was a difficult task and decided to liquidate the standards and control over technical specifications at all. This was followed by liquidation of veterinary control, as a source of corruption. Then you can import and eat anything you want, the country will not be ruined because of that; everything is all right.

The scientists are attentively keeping an eye on this process – how Georgians eat minced meat produced of animals’ claws instead of ham, and sausages and wurst made of 50 years old meat, canned goods of uncertain origin, starch instead of yoghurt, and dissolved in spirit powder instead of wine. Their elect- ric current frequency oscillates from 12.3 to 23 instead of 50 hertz, but all technique still works in spite of it, their stomachs can bear most chemically contaminated and non standard food. They drink water that cannot be used even for technical purposes containing half of Periodic Table’s elements, and everything seems to be normal.

Based on the above stated the scientists have come to two conclusions: in order to eradicate corruption we have to liquidate controlling units, the Ministry of Economy is going to be liquidated in the nearest future (though it has been liquidated a long time ago), then, one after another, the same will happen to the Finance Ministry and other bodies, the police and the court (the last one was actually liquidated a long time ago. It will be voluntary – they will summon you if you want, but if you do not want they will not.

There will be real democracy without any corruption, and business will flourish. It will be for the first time in the world. This is not a new theory. In 1960s, its founder – Murray N. Notbard created a theory according to which the existence of a state is not necessary.

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The second conclusion –it turns out that for solving of world food problems eating of artificial and bad products, and that ecology is an unnecessary luxury for humankind. The experiment is going on and now it is at the stage of clinical research. With liquidation of standardization and other bodies as well as with incomprehensible reorganizations, one of Murphy’s laws comes true: “Nothing feeds so well as unsettled problems”.

In this summer heat I remember an old anecdote: A patient complaining of stomach aches came to the doctor. He was urgently operated on, and then the doctor gladdened him by saying that his kidneys had been removed. When the surprised patient said that he had had stomach aches he was told that they will gradually reach it as well.

August,Year 2005

ALCHEMISTS OR WHAT IS TWICE TWO After hissing sea waves, summer rains and idle vacation days it is difficult to discourse on hard and serious matters, but still it is necessary to take care of the economy, people, their bright future and eternal interests. That is why upon my arrival from the land of rains and fogs - I mean our sea shore, I immediately fell upon the figures, the figures about the economy. I wondered what had been going on during my absence, since during this period I did not now anything except for the fact that near Ureki I filled up my car with gasoline at the price of 1.81 GEL per litre, and at the market bought meat for 8 GEL. I could not believe my eyes – the official statistics was speaking about miracles; they are real alchemists – those statisticians. In general, statistics is an unusual thing.

One statistician would say that after formula one competition for - 125 -

the big Brazilian prize the 24 years old Spaniard – Alonso won the third place and lost the race. The other one would say that Alonso became the youngest world champion in formula one. Which of them is wrong? None of them. They are both right. The same thing is with us. In spite of the fact that in view of a great number of subjective and objective reasons for which the prices for fuel and many necessary products have considerably gone up, according to the statistical data rising in price of the basket of goods almost has not taken place. The subsistence minimum is nearly the same, and inflation is heroically standing close to zero. Is there any inaccuracy in it? It depends on the instance. If in calculation of the basket of goods we exclude gasoline from table, and put apples or peaches in it instead, we shall get the result that everything is all right and the price of the basket has not gone up. If we do not resort to this alchemy and calculate the basket by fuel, sugar, bread, transport, then we shall get 20% rising in prices. Let us, for example, take the unemployment indicator. If out of two million of able-bodied population we consider as unemployed only those who applied to the labour exchange office, then the unemployment rate is normal, since the rest of them will be considered as self-employed. Thus a person is self-employed, but this is not registered anywhere.

The whole world looks upon the economy growth indicators with a sinking heart. The projection of the IMF for 2006 is disturbing – 3.4% for the whole world, the predicted growth in the whole of CIS, including Georgia – 5.5%, but we introduced 7.8% GDP growth as the basis of the 2006 budget parameters. Who is right: we or the IMF? Believe it or not – both. Because we, in calculation of the GDP, make a correction by agriculture and domestic production, which is a huge figure, and we get necessary figure this way.

You want a 10% growth – you will get it, if you want 5.5 – it will - 126 -

be as you say. For example, we have a growth in foreign trade. But if look at the deficit, it is enormous as well. That is why an ordinary man may ask: is it good or bad that the turnover has increased? We shall answer that it depends on the instance. The hell with us! But how does the Ministry of Economy make calculations and forecasts with these figures? That is why it dies not make them at all, it has enough of its own problems. After the reforms it was charged with property management and privatization issues, and now nothing connects it with the economy, except for the name.

The opponents ask: has it always and everywhere been so? Yes, it used to be and will be so. For example, if you ask a statistician: who is a greater artist – Modigliani or Picasso, he will answer that Picasso because he painted 100 times more paintings. But if ask an artist, his answer will be – Modigliani, since he is a genius though he has painted a little. Paolo Coelho reminded me an alchemist, his hero in a work with the same name says: “The desert taught me silence”. Life taught statisticians silence, that is why they are alchemists, they love only percents, percents and nothing more. At first glance, what can be more trustworthy than figures? The figures, but not statistical ones.

Alchemy is an amazing thing, but still, what twice two?

September, Year 2005

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BLESSED NOTARIES OR HOW 15 000 IS EQUAL TO 30 000 AND 140 000 “Notary” is pronounced in Georgian like “notorious” All kinds of miracles may happen in an economy, especially in Georgia, and particularly when Christmas and the New Year are approaching. Not long ago, on a cold autumn day a nice elderly woman came to the editorial office and asked for help. Are you interested what about? She wanted to sell a flat in Gamskhurdia Avenue and went to a notary office. There she was shown Sakrebulo’s decision where, according to the new Tax Code, a property tax was cons- ciously introduced. But it is interesting that Sakrebulo compiled an extraordinary table, according to which a new theory of value fixing was worked out –a very simple and at the same time unusual one. In a few words, it is just a table and you just have to multiply by the coefficient and that is all. For instance, this lady’s neighbour sold a basement in the same building, and the same coefficient was mat- ched. Another neighbour sold a space on the first floor suitable for commercial activities – and again with the same coefficient. That is, they equated with each other this lady’s flat costing 30 thousand, the neighbour’s basement costing 15 thousand, and the third neighbour’s space on the first floor costing 140 thousand, and demanded paying the same tax to the budget as the income one (have they known the Code so well they would demanded paying the social tax as well). All of the three items were valued at 45000 USD. Another important detail – which made this appraisal?

The notaries, of course. Now, according to this document, notaries became property appraisers. “Notorious” means “unfavourably known” in English. Do they need this nickname as well?! This method of property appraisal deserves the Nobel Prize in the field - 128 -

of economics, but firstly now it is too late for nomination, and secondly we do not know who personally should be nominated, and who the author of this method is. Sakrebulo, the notaries, both of them or some concrete brilliant economist – don’t you know that by any chance? How can we help this lady, who will appraise the property and why 15 000 = 30 000 = 140 000?

October, Year 2005

WHY WE ARE MORE CATHOLICS THAN THE POPE, OR WHY INDEPENDENT LEGISLATORS DO NOT UNDERSTAND GEORGIA On these Christmas days there came up an idea of how we, Georgians, like to be more Catholics than the Pope. We are Orthodox believers, and it is difficult to understand, why we assume priority in matters that have nothing to do with us.

In Georgia, law and statutory acts making institutes exist separately – isolated in a flask. They have assumed socialist or some other incomprehensible obligations to create a legislative situation which will be progressive on the whole but absolutely unacceptable for Georgia at this stage. The economy is dragging itself along, and the laws are rushing of their own accord. At first we promptly draw up plans, and are pleased when fulfil them, but then we give the alarm and start to criticize them. We set up commissions for studying them, and... what else do you want! That is the intrigue.

People are employed, we have a subject to be criticized, and we are preoccupied with concern for the people.

Someone invented a turnover register and we unanimously recognized it (they are looking for him to nominate for the Nobel - 129 -

Prize). It turned out that the whole country is busy writing for the register. They gave up commerce, business, everything, and started filling in registers. Georgia, during the period of its existence, has not seen so much writing and so many writers. But still we got tired, could not write and became bored with paying big fines.

Thus, many people preferred to pay a fine to writing. We started to sharply criticize it, changed everything ourselves, and cancelled it by the New Year the way we formerly adopted it.

First we passed a law on money laundering one cannot find fault with, and which is extremely necessary. Then we complicated this harmless law and demanded that banks should send notifications concerning everything to Gegutsadze, for transferring to the National Bank, with consequent transferring of the same sum to the banks for inter-bank credits. The Baltic countries, that are members of the EU, have not received this kind of demands yet, and by doing so did much benefit to their economies. We are more Catholics then they are. We work ahead of schedule and have damaged the banking system with fines, and the investment sphere and economy – with confidence. And what of it, but our law is the strictest and it is a big business already. It is not a proper time for economy and business, the main thing is the law, fining for the sake of law, and then saying complacently: what did they think – those bourgeoisies!

And finally, still fresh news – 1000 and 25000 GEL fines for not issuing a cash register cheque. Here we surpassed everybody, and it will finally bury small and average-scale business. That serves them right. Large-scale business will get it too. First we shall pass this law, and then start criticizing it, and in future we may cancel it at all. But, in accordance with what obligations or conventions do we do it? Oh, I have forgotten that we are the best Catholics.

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I wish merry Christmas and happy New Year to everyone – Catholics, Orthodox believers! But please be gracious and come back to the earth. Our Saviour himself was here once.

December, Year 2005

PECULIARITIES OF THE LAW ADOPTED HAVING A NEW YEAR HANGOVER AND THE PROBLEMS OF PROTECTION OF THOSE CRAPULENT IN GEORGIA DURING THE TRANSITIONAL PERIOD Last year I attended some regular conference in Belorussia, in Minsk. I took a keen interest in how their economy worked in conditions of absolute dictatorship and what problems their working masses confronted with. The first thing I was told is that there was a state monopoly for vodka and that 40 varieties of the same kind of vodka – “Crystal”, if I remember it right after a hangover, are produced by the state enterprise only. The assortment is very impressive. All food stores in the city also work with old logo and design (hypermarkets are located outside the city), planned supply of pro- ducts and, which is most important, with the list of strictly approved assortment. “The Book of Complaints and Proposals” is also hanging there, that is if a customer or Belarusian drunkard writes down in it that vodka with pepper or laurel aroma or of turquoise colour indi- cated in the assortment is not sold in this particular food store, the head of this unit will be eliminated at Lukashenko’s personal initiative in accordance with the adopted law. The talk is not of price and quality control; everything is totally controlled there – but the assortment in particular. The same used to be in the Soviet Union and in Georgia of that time. It is understandable that - 131 -

it used to be then, but how can it be now, in market conditions?!

What is happening there is clear, but in late December here, in our country we adopted an innovative “Law on Harm and Quality of Products”, in which the following definition is openly written – “falsification of food pro- duct’s ingredients, characteristics, discrepancy in the assortment and origin in relation to the established requirements or to the data indicated in the enclosed documents and the label”. What’s this and what the assortment has to do with it?? Now I think that it is obviously a technical mistake, since it was adopted on December 27 and crept in a holiday atmosphere, but an entrepreneur has to fulfil it.

By this law we protect consumers when they very much want “Nikora’s” crispy sausages, but if they are not very good “Nikora” will be punished, since this particular kind of sausages and horseradish go with “hangover” very well. That is right! Why should we spoil a person’s pleasure, that is why it should punish ... but whom??? It is clear that it must be a poor entrepreneur, in this instance “Nikora” that made a falsification and did not observe the assortment’s list. That man has had enough having a hang-over; we cannot punish him since he is already punished. It is possible there, in Belorussia, but here in Georgia, in a country with free economy it is awkward, and there is hope that we shall correct it after the New Year hangover at the spring session.

January, Year 2006

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THE CRISIS OF KANT’S THEORY AND THE REALITIES OF MODERN ECONOMY IN GEORGIA “Time and space – these are the basis of any cognition and judgment. They become obligatory since it is impossible to make a single step till we recognize it in time and space” Emanuel Kant, “The Fundamentals of Moral’s Metaphysics” This Kant will drive a man crazy, there is much he says about and makes others think of. What is the use of thinking everything over in time and space? Why do we have to recognize in time and space the judgment that 7 and 5 is 12. Maybe it was necessary then, but now everything is different, everything has changed, my Kant.

Time and space has remained the same but what do you want, the result - zero.

No, no, Kant’s philosophy is evidently in crisis, there are new laws of metaphysics now.

What does it mean? Oh, you want me to explain to you on 2 pages what that genius expressed in a 1500 page book (thus, Kant is lucky that he does not live now, especially in Georgia, or he would have remained for the world. Who will read 3000 pages now, especially in Georgia?) In short, substitute any economic doctrine, and even a law, and there is no necessity in any calculation, any consideration as to why, when, where or what is the subsequent result, why it is good or bad. We cannot really follow Kant’s ravings, it is necessary to be so and that is all. In conditions of ongoing globalization and permanent economic reforms, Kant’s theory is considered as an evident obstacle. Moreover, within several years’ period we have to catch up with Hong Kong, Singapore... but it is true that now we are far behind of even Vietnam, but we shall catch up. First we shall cancel the customs tax, it was the load that made our airplane heavier, then – VAT, and then we shall eradicate this tenfold spending state institution and fly. No matter where and then. It was in Kant’s time when there was time and space, and that - 133 -

is why the progress dragged on so slowly. I recall one interesting incident: one Megrelian deputy asked some state minister – when we shall catch up with Europe from the economic point of view. He became pensive, calculated and said, - if we go very fast and rebuild our economy’s management, and if there will be a fair international wind, then within a 50 years’ period. “What are you saying, man”, - the deputy cried out, - “and what if we run very fast?” “Then in 35 years’ period”, - the minister said. “What?!” – The deputy shrieked, - “shall not we be able to catch up in 3-4 years?!” – “No” – Answered the minister. “What?” and whispered in his year – “do they know about it on the top?” he said raised his eyes full of fright at the sun. “Of course, they do.”

However, if, for instance, we lived in accordance with Kant’s philosophy, we would have to calculate where from we could get 150 million for the budget which the customs tax would have brought, then we would have calculated how we could render assistance to agriculture, food industry and other industries, and how much we would have lost if they had stopped, or how much we would have gained in terms of raw materials and installations by these 12% privileges, and would have treated all this taking into account time and space, our economy would be put in order.

Oh, it is Kant again, we are there again, and it is not a proper time for calculations, especially in time and space, cancel it and that is all. Bananas will become cheaper, as well as trotters and spicery that are imported from Argentine. There is good spicery there, just for kharcho soup. We shall drink imported juices, etc., simply as it is. Now in Georgia there is a time of new economic theories, down with Kant, his philosophy is in crisis. There is greatness in simplicity – cancel it and that is all. Maybe, Kant was a German and he was not taught in France. Oh, maybe. Now everything is possible, it depends on time and space.

February, Year 2006 - 134 -

THE PROBLEMS OF SEASONALITY AND SELECTIVITY OF LAWS OPERATING IN GEORGIA, OR WHY THE MINISTER OF ECONOMY WILL BE ARRESTED AND WHEN GOBEJISHVILI WILL BE IN PRISON Oh, that’s cool! It is difficult to think out such a long heading which is so vague and saying nothing at that. It looks like TV appearances of some of our ministers. However, there is something antique, charming and attractive in this heading. For instance, why will the Minister of Economy be arrested? Or who is highly respected and honourable and at the same time profoundly dishonoured and ... Gobejishvili with the code 877 555999?

Imagine that in Georgia, to our regret and grief, there is labour legislation (there is no such thing in China and this problem does not worry them though, fortunately, they do not have ministers like Chogovadze) in accordance with which the state is obliged to pay a two months’ compensation to an employee in case his workplace is liquidated. And this law is for the Ministry of Finance that draws a budget and for the departments that has carried out liquidation of some institution and have to give compensations to its employees and envisage it in their supply, especially because they have increased own salaries 5 times and more at the expense of liquidation. In their time they did not get round to reading this law’s article and appealed to the Constitutional Court that confirmed our quotation from the law. That is, thousands of former workers of the Ministry of Economy, whose workplaces were ruthlessly and energetically liquidated, were to receive compensation. Moreover, the budget, including the local ones, was to receive corresponding taxes out of this compensation, by means of which we would pave our littered and abundantly scented with Voulez-vous roads (you know that our roads are awfully fashionable, they have one cover- 135 -

ing in winter and another one in summer, and then in autumn they are patched up and so on. So they are constantly transfigured and change their covering). This compensation was to be made in autumn by the Minister of Economy, and the Ministry of Finance was to envisage it in the budget, since liquidation of all state institutions or offices is made according to the law, then by the government passes a resolution, the Ministry of Finance signs these documents and commissions are charged with taking decisions on these issues.

But they do not care a damn for anything – they do not fulfil either the law or the govern- ment’s resolution. Why? It is not the season and Gobejishvili is still not in prison. Then it was put off till winter, but, according to Chogovadze’s lawyers, this law does not work in autumn-winter season, and now the poor liquidated ones are waiting for spring. However, there is a problem here too – Gobejishvili did not give consent to enabling of this law in spring and they are waiting for him (he, the Deputy Minister of Finance – Mr. Gobejishvili has no time since he permanently carries out attestations at the customs or tax administration, for the fifth time over past year and, according to malicious gossips, absolutely ignorant persons passed attestation in his hands, then re-attestation, and now are preparing for super attestation. Yet, is there any competence?

Maybe the examiner lacks something, but what?... He picks none of the phones and, in spite of the President’s strict warning, even the mobile one which he, by the way, uses at the state expense. If you do not believe, try to dial the number 877 555999. No, Gobejishvili does not fulfil the President’s instruction, and he is still not in prison.

Whereas, in accordance with Article 332 of Georgian Criminal Code, the abuse of the official position as a result of which the losses in the amount of 12% of 115 000 GEL (this is an especially big - 136 -

amount) were inflicted to the state, as well as to citizens and the budget since citizens demand a fine in the same amount which is envisaged by the code to tax payers through the fault of the Minister of Economy who, because of negligence and abuse of the official position and gross violation of the law, along with Gobejishvili caused damage to the state and, according to the law, arrest is in store for the them.

Some people will become excited and tell us that the case should be taken to court since this is a lawful state. They did so and succeeded but did not get anything. In the second case the judge did not accept the claim at all. “I will not consider the case since Gobejishvili has not envisaged the sum in the budget. You are supposed to get what you want, you are such good people, but you will not get it, everything depends on means”, - the judge shed tears.

It’s so strange, March has come and this law on compensations should have become operative already, but this Gobejishvili is still not in prison, and the Minister of Economy does not give compensations to people without Gobejishvili’s resolution, and meanwhile he can be dismissed. Then someone else will come to this post and it will last for ever and ever while fulfilment of the law depends on the minister’s mood – he fulfils it if he wishes and does not if he does not want. However, if a tax payer does not fulfil his liabilities, he will be arrested. Nevertheless, the minister and his deputy are not arrested for the same behaviour. “Where is this law from?” – You may ask. It is local. However, I wonder when the season of the law’s work comes? When the compensations will be given out?

When the ministers that break the law will be called to account for oppression of people, and when they will be in prison together with their deputies?

It is strange, as if we are really the country that is governed - 137 -

by one’s mood instead of law. Ask Gobejishvili and Chogovadze whether it is so or not – force of law takes places not only in time and space, but also in mood and temper. This is a contemporary peculiarity and a modernist-symbolist Western-Norman trend in the Georgian legislative space.

March, Year 2006

GEORGIAN PECULIARITIES OF WESTERN ECONOMIC VALUABLES OR VAKE PIGLET TASIKO’S CHARM AND WHAT TENDER MEANS First of all I would like to wish you the advent of the longawaited summer. The cold, rainy, and severe days have come for poor flowers and for us as well. They will not bear fruit this year.

We should try to adapt to the western valuables in the way that will give us an opportunity of surviving in a severe climate of the world market.

“What a thing you are saying”, - you may say, - “you have not said anything new”. Nothing indeed, since we have already taken over a lot from the west and are trying to implement these novelties here. We have also learnt a new game – announcing of a so called tender in purchasing of goods and services that is a choosing of the best and optimal ones from among the bids offered by the firms based on the competition principle. And here a Georgian peculiarity has crept into this good product. We are not trying to make equal conditions for business in our country, but we know it in advance whose products we are buying. However, we are arranging a performance as a blind pretending that we are making a choice though everything is obvious to anyone. Imagine that someone is asking - 138 -

you to buy the Easter piglet for 30 GEL (6 kilogram, crispy – one cannot imagine the Easter festive table without a piglet, just like one cannot imagine a train running without the rails). But you say that it must be bought for 50 GEL. Do you know why? – Because it is an “elite” piglet, raised in Vake, on the 9th floor. Its name is Tasiko and has an interesting figure and what is most important – it has never had a Megrelian accent in his life.

And what family man will waste 20 GEL for Tasiko, what does he need Tasiko’s figure for? A piglet is a piglet! The main thing is that it should not be fat, the one that hung itself or having being strangled by the kisses of a neighbour’s piglet, and that the prices should be acceptable. No, we shall surely not buy it for home, but it is different with large enterprises, especially in the state business.

For instance, our railway (department) has held a tender for the purchase of computer techniques and somehow accepted the offer (nothing would have prevented them from doing it) which was 30% more expensive than other ones. Why? Because in our country it is not a tender but a tend-er! What does it mean?

Tendentious nation! There are still tendentious people among the people that hold tenders, which is very regrettable for the development of business. They make people, firms pay fees for nothing and waste time. Even the theatrical society does not remember a case when people take part in a performance under compulsion.

My tendentious people, this performance does not fit for the development of business and the country. Why do you make the country pay so much money for the same commodity? What’s the difference how a piglet or a computer will be packed? You at least have to require the parameters and tell the people that you want this “brand”, and they will not take part and will not suffer losses. In your performance the state and business are the losers, for the time - 139 -

being you are playing a lossless game, but fortunately it is a different time now and this performance will not stay on the stage for a long time. It is time that this noble kind of competition should be ridded of the Georgian tinge, so that business could develop and the country should not suffer losses. But... But you are tend-ers, how long are you going to be tendentious!?

Generally speaking, I have nothing against Tasiko, maybe it is a good piglet, it turns out that its owner fed it with julienne and took him for a walk to Vake park every day. Still, Megrelian piglet is better, it is cheap and industrious. A living Tasiko cannot make the round of 20 people, while a Megrelian piglet fried all over in the oven will be just enough for 20 people. So, the ones who made a choice in favour of Tasiko for this Easter, apparently bought it on mother-in-law’s money, and there is hope that your taste and “tend”-erity will change and for the next Easter you will make a choice in favour of a real Lesitchine piglet.

P.S. In relation to a Megrelian piglet I remembered an occasion when during a live appearance on TV some respected corpse sent me an SMS – “Go to your Gali and impose order there”. Thank you very much for reminding me that Gali is mine, let the God hear you, but how shall I manage alone if such a big country has failed to do it. Do you know why? Because we are this kind of tend-er.

Since we prefer Tasiko to a refined, noble Lesitchine pig- let. We won’t get used to free principles of business, and cannot get rid of the sorrow because of others’ good. We do not want to see each laid brick and raised piglet. I believe that the chief of the rail- way is from Gali too and hope that he will leave the tend-ers in the past, thus step by step we shall go to the west, and Gali is there too.

It will certainly get warm and spring will come The tender money will change - 140 -

Particularly, their heart will become a patriotic one The lost territory will be recovered Tasiko and its fans will remain alone April, Year 2006

PRESS AS AN ECONOMIC PHENOMENON AND ITS PECULIARITY IN THE TRANSITIONAL PERIOD Not long ago a friend of mine (Irma, who has been working on these problems for a long time) came to me and spoke on her dissertation work. The conversation was about economic aspects of media and information. It was a very interesting view since information was considered as property and peculiarity of press business management had a sign characteristic of transitional countries. To tell the truth, at first it was difficult for me to fully apprehend this project. I thought that it would not be a very sharp one. But I was very mistaken...

Not long ago a rather successful media publication devoted a special page to the results of the Georgian Railway Department’s work. In particular, there was a headline – “The Speed is Gradually Increasing” – the rail-track service has carried out large-scale repair works and (Oh, miracle!) ”the tracks at Tbilisi junction – Tbilisi switching were replaced and... the speed has increased from 40 km/h to 100 km/h”. The same happened at Grakali-Uplistsikhe span; here the speed has increased to 100 km/h as well. I suddenly imagined how an engineer started his locomotive with its 40 cars in Didube and raced to Isani at a speed of 100 km/h, and somewhere at the central railway station he was stopped by a patrol for speeding.

Oh, what have we come to, is it a miracle or reality?! In Georgia trains’ speed has been a subject of international criticism for years – it ranged from 5-7 km/h to 34-75 km/h, and the country suffered - 141 -

serious losses for this reason. The situation in this sphere has been deteriorating for years. For instance, in Chaladidi – 5 km/h, Vale – 8 km/h, at the pass 3-4 km/h, and at last we caught up with Europe where they have reached the bound of 100 km/h. If they had tried harder, we would have passed ahead of it. Experts have no idea if repairs could be of any help in this respect. Henceforth be careful, do not be surprised if the train rushes you at a speed of 100 km/h.

Paper will bear everything, one can just go crazy with it! This is really a subject for a dissertation; I want to advise my friend to study this information.

It is good, the commodity turnover will increase, a new section will appear in “Patrol” television project – “patrol on the railway”, and it will be full of interesting stories – a train going at a speed of 100 km/h failed to dodge a tank-car train going at a speed of 120 km/h and damaged its wing or collided with it (and escaped at a high speed); patrol arrived to the occurrence site and the rest will be established by the investigation, and further like in a usual text. Information is a miracle! There is so much one can hear about!

And it has a purely economic “niche” –happy carriers are already counting how much time they will save. After that publication we rechecked what is going on the rail-tracks, and you should not have any headache over it any more. Somebody will say that this is “PR”, what a misfortune is it? It, dear sirs, is a shocking, nicely packed truth. Is it new? No, it is a long forgotten and revived anew one – it looks like what used to be written in notorious newspapers – “a collective farmer Sonia assumed a new obligation – she will milk three cows at a time by hand”, or another one – “Shakro will mow with two scythes in order to fulfil the assumed socialist obligations”, or “Zalikia from Chiatura will give more black stone on Monday morning”, and “Dzuku has picked in a day a ton of tea from a plan- 142 -

tation that withered a long time ago”, etc. Now everything is clear since it is old in a new form and under a new name, it is not worth worrying and it will not be of use to economic activities.

Our transport workers got angry and shouted with annoyance: “Aristophan, I was joking, man. Why do I have to fondle with everybody?”

It is good that you were joking, my “PR workers”, but infor- mation has a serious economic load (I have no idea about it. Irma, my clever author of dissertation, has told me so), so be careful so that the engineer should not read it, should not rush his locomotive at a speed of 100 km/h at Uplistsikhe and should not find himself in the Mtkvari river. But it is nice that engineers drive their train so slowly and spend so much time on the trip from Poti to Biukia- siviki that then they have time for sleep only, and they do not read newspapers and do not know what “PR” is.

Or take a horoscope in a newspaper. One acquaintance of mine read the following: “Today financial success is expecting you at work, your salary will be raised.” He believed it and went to his boss and pressed the point. And? And he was fired at all. Another example from a newspaper horoscope – another acquaintance read that he would be lucky in gaming today, went to a casino and lost everything.

No, there is a peculiarity – in the west one should read press since information contained in it can help to you to make millions or warn as to what should be done in order not to lose them. You should not read newspapers in our country for two reasons: firstly in order not to lose everything, or secondly – not to be detained by patrol for speeding in a locomotive, or not to find yourself together with a locomotive in cold Mtkvari on these cold May days, and not to develop a sore throat and avoid falling in Machavariani’s hands - 143 -

for excising of a part frozen by anaesthesia. Do you want to have problems? If you don’t, beware of PR in a country with transitional economy.

May, Year 2006

WHY CONCEAL IT FROM YOU AND THE GEORGIAN CONSULTING BUSINESS I know that you shall not believe, but it is so. Being exhausted by the play of Brazilian and Argentinean teams in this universal and total football heat, I decided to splash in the Internet since I could not leave Tbilisi. And, my dear sir, in the middle of the swimming I noticed a Georgian website – Odishi. I apologize to all corners of the country, but, as it was so unexpected, my heart dropped out of the chubby breast and started to palpitate on the table, I thought that the matter concerned my exhausted land which I miss so much, that I would learn something pleasant and plunged into it. So, when I plunged my eyes started out of my head, I did not believe it but it is a fact – it was written in black and white: “Do not pay at the customs more than it is envisaged by the law.

Often many newly-fledged businessmen have to spend considerably more money and time at the customs. For the most part we can put it down to their lack of experience. In spite of toughening of rules on the part of the state, which is trying to maximally protect importers’ rights, simplify and reduce the price of all procedures, there still exists a great number of “legal” ways for you to leave more money at the customs, which, you can be sure, will not get in the state budget. Preparation for custom clearance begins in advance with collection of all necessary documents. A mistake made in the very beginning may inflict a rather big financial losses.

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Even one incorrect word entered in the document is enough to enable the toughened taxation rules against you. It is necessary to know to which custom house it is better to bring your cargo, the amount of total expenses and how long it will take to make custom clearance of the cargo. The hope that you will pay only the officially envisaged sum is vain, remember that time spent on custom clearance works against the client, especially in Georgia.

We shall help you in the rational solution of the problem. Preliminary calculation of expenses (white, black), determination of possible complications and their eradication. Contact us in advance, do not wait for coming of the cargo. Tel: 899 13 90 83 “We shall help you in efficient calculation and payment of white and black expenses”. I have not seen this kind of public demonstration. He knows the exact amount of “black” expenses and optimal one at that, publicly recognizes it and is not afraid that this will be read in the corresponding structures and this consulting will come to a bad end. He must have a lion’s heart, my brother, even Merrill Lynch would envy this kind of consulting. It is a serious feature of Georgian consulting business not only from the viewpoint of direction but transferability of transparency and boldness as well. Why conceal this, it is business! Probably the authors of this know-how have the hope that Financial Police sees everything anyway, it will reveal everything and make them answer, that is why they think that there is no point in concealing, but there is a novelty – publicity of “black” business. I know what legalization of business is, and it is a serious economic problem, but this kind of transferability of “black” business and bribes may be a novelty for the fathers of the world economy. We astonish the world.

So, importers, why conceal it, those who wish to make use of - 145 -

Georgian consulting service may visit the following site in the Internet: www.forms.ge.

The phone number is given above, so make use of the new service in the Georgian wonderland and, to be on the safe side, hire a lawyer and take along the necessary things as who knows what will happen.

Then you will have to be in coolness – it is also the Georgian reality, and transferable at that.

June, Year 2006

TEA AND PEOPLE, OR THE ADVANTAGE OF THE “FAST TEA” THEORY Someone would say that is not time to think of tea in the summer heat, when we are sweating all over and gasping for breath, when the heat pesters even persons that are very sensitive to cold.

Or what do the people have to do with it? Yet, it is just the people that have to do with it. Besides, now this kind of headlines is in fashion in the television space under the name of serials, and we are also telling about one long serial.

It was a long time ago when hot Abkhazian sun was burning not only Tbilisians, but the tea plantations spreading there as well.

They were very beautiful, smooth, portly, fresh and proud. I remember that foreign tourists were often brought to have a look at them, and I was very surprised seeing an ignorant child among them – I wondered what they were astonished at and what they were examining so feverishly. Yet, I was glad since they gave chewing gum to the children of the communist ideology playing there.

Then the whole country was living on that tea and made money.

Tea-growers had good incomes, let alone the purveyors and the - 146 -

secretaries of regional party committees – they wallowed in money.

I remember even more: Georgian tea wrapped in foil, produced for Tbilisians at an unsightly factory located opposite my house, was a nice gift. We often secretly stole into this factory’s laboratory to steal flasks for fishing, there was an aroma there, about which I had read in “The Arabian Nights”. I also know that they brought tea in boxes from distant Ceylon and mixed it up with the local one in order to make it better. The plantations were endless, the whole country was one big plantation.

Then we grew up and now drink “Mariam”, “Webner” and – one can go crazy with it – “Beseda”. We, the Georgians, children of the tea country, drink Russian tea “Beseda”. I wonder, on which frozen field this tea is grown. Or let us take this “Mariam”, no one knows what kind of tea it is, maybe it is not tea at all, possibly it is really so, since scientists and some highly educated specialists (and we have plenty of them) have established after many investigations that Ceylon tea is better than the Georgian one, as far as tonus is concerned. And, in general, it is better to drink dye stuff instead of tea – it is made quickly and will not raise your tonus, you need not brew, wait, it is fast food – “fast tea”: just drop a bag full of dust and dye into hot water and the dyed water is ready. It does not matter whether it is tea or not, the main thing is that it is dark, besides you do not feel nervous that your blood pressure will rise or tonus will decline. The point is that it is foreign and advertised one.

For instance, “Rita” and “Izolda” tea broke a record – they darkened hot water before putting into a cup. You will not believe what the Georgian tea is needed for – it does not really have this kind of properties. Besides, so many people were employed in this business, there was corruption and so on, including upward distortions.

Everything is over – there is no tea, no people, and no problems.

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Besides, in 15 years Kenya has become the fourth largest tea supplier in the world, they are negroes and deserve picking tea, but we are not negroes, it is not worthy of us to be involved in this business. “Emperors” of ignorance tell me over and over again that our tea is not of this or that quality, that our people cannot do it, we are the chosen people. They say it in order drink Russian tea “Beseda” with a big dose of sugar and, according to the new fashion, discourse on bad quality of Georgian products. We annually import 50 million worth tea, of which real English and Ceylon tea makes up 5%, the rest is dye stuff. But our tea is very good, it has its place in the world and the world market needs it, and they do not need it. Let them ask us, the fans of “Mariam” and “Beseda”, whether we need it.

Let the modern technologies and “fast tea” be blessed. Just drop and drink. We, the Georgians, are genius, especially when we drink Russian “Beseda” tea and think of the bright future of humankind and the hard lot of Kenyan tea-growers and not about our own economy.

July, Year 2006

THE TREASURE THE KAZAKHS BOUGHT AND THE PLEASURE TBILISIANS LOSE – WHAT A PITY Hello! I am glad to have an opportunity of speaking to you again.

It is a serious chance to exchange impressions about the summer “holidays” (let’s chatter in French, it is in fashion now) and speak about the economy again. The summer was really sultry. It has been a long time since we had such lovely sunny days and interesting events in Georgia. We are full of impressions and want to share them with each other, but in the heat of market economy we have - 148 -

no time for direct intercourse and cooing, so we try to use modern but habitual electronic systems of communication, especially because the new networks are in abundance now – mobile phones of different generations and origin, “Skype”, “ISQ” and god knows what else. Oh, there are forums as well! Fathers of the world communication really consider these forums as something new. What is a forum? Your mobile phone has a menu, where you can simultaneously speak to several respondents or subscribers (here “that” invisible ear that is constantly hearing or listening to our telephone calls is not meant – it is a separate issue), the same applies to “Messenger”, “Skype” or “ISQ”. Big deal. It is common knowledge that they were introduced in Georgia a long time ago. But what do you need it for, who appreciates it? Each Tbilisian knows this forum.

For example – you pick up the phone and about four or five groups are talking to each other. You hear confidential news and enjoy.

“Courier” is nothing compared to it, all latest news and information as well as beau-monde, social, love and political news are collected here. You can sprawl out in a soft armchair and listen to what is happening all over the world. And this is not all – you can also be connected or listened to or be called names. But what do you need it for?!

It did not occur to poor leaders of communication to patent it on the world market and share their experience with the giants of the world communication. What a pity that so much money has been lost. Besides, do not think that it is a local network, it is an international one. The whole world is connected to it, that is why I said that you hear the world events.

Not long ago I called home from Paris (I shall brag about Paris and Montmartre, the voyage spent in Cite, of course by phone).

I wanted to find out what was going on in Tbilisi, the phone was - 149 -

picked up by a little child and he could not understand anything, but a lot of voices could be heard – Zhuzhu was jabbering with Zizi, Ksenia – with Liana, Bondo – with Karaman, Natasha – with Lestamber and Justan – with Justin. It was a serious forum. There was an intense hum but still I heard what was going on in politics, economy, who was unfaithful to whom and who picked up a tough man as well as what medleys and parties took place in the heat of summer. Besides, intensive swearing could be heard. The relationship between Zhuzhuna and her lover became strained, Ninutsa’s boy-friend nearly dishonoured her – they were even telling a joke about it – a child is telling his father: “You know, father – today boys burst into the bar and dishonoured everyone but Tsitsa”. The father asks: “Why did not they dishonored her, did not she wanted to?..”

One can learn a lot in the forum. Being satisfied and infor- med, I rang off. I was glad that everything was all right. How amazing our talent is – we can invent so many things, but we are poor in finalizing of matters and making of international market- ing money – we are shy. But the most terrible thing is that even cables do not bear such a great number of listeners, sometimes such things happen at the forum that it becomes disconnected. Then you call 99999 times the repair service, they say that the cable is damaged and that it will be repaired soon. They torment you this way for a month and infringe the human right of receiving information on what is happening in the city and the whole world. No one remonstrates against this vandalism and informational discrimination. The Kazaks were astonished when they bought this telephone network –”What we have seen! How do you manage to do it, what Babel?”

– And were going to inculcate it in Astana, but alas. It turns out that their hissing cables are laid so that they proved to be useless for the Georgian forum since voices do not pass into one another, so now - 150 -

they are going to extract this cable and take it to Kazakhstan. It is their property and let them use it as they please if they take it, but just imagine how dull it will become in Tbilisi – how we shall learn our news, they are like a serial. Then you wonder how this story ended, what the lover finally did.

So, while there is time and your line has not been disconnected yet, pick u the phone and enjoy the world wonder – Tbilisi’s telephone communication and the jabber, I am sorry – forum, taking place in it. What a fascination. One might as well ask the Kazakhs not to change anything and not to deprive the beau-monde of the source of informational existence. There is an idea to create a society of the telephone forum’s protection and retain this Geor- gian colouring for the public, moreover – to share our unique experience with the world, let them enjoy it as well and see what kind of system we have in the 21st century. By selling it we shall increase our export potential and monetary reserves. What treasure do we have underground? The Kazakhs have bought not a tele- phone exchange but a real Tbilisi collaring and even do not know its economic and social human price.

Enter the forum in time and tell fresh summer news about yourself to the city and common people, but if you don’t – “they” know it even without it August, Year 2006

WHAT IS “URODA” OR WHO IS “URODA” Why the Russians and the Europeans understand one and the same word in absolutely different ways, or why it means “fine” in Polish and “freak” in Russian On a golden October day in Warsaw, in the yard of the Institute - 151 -

of Europe, I and my friend professor were walking in the shade of a centenary oak. Being recognized in Poland, this political scientist was talking to me about the relations of Georgia with its neighbour, Europe’s attitude and the Polish experience of its struggle with the “bear”. Suddenly enraptured, he exclaimed: What an “uroda” weather! My country is very “uroda” in this time of year. I was stunned and did not know what to say. Probably I was so shocked that it could be seen by my expression, and my interlocutor burst out laughing. I know why you are embarrassed – we and the Russians often understand one and the same phenomenon in an absolutely different way. For example, for Russia the conquest of Chechnya, Ingushetia, Ossetia or Dagestan and drowning of the craving for freedom in blood is establishment of peace, for us – this phenomenon is the evil of the Russian empire and a crime against humanity. For us, the threat to Georgia’s territorial integrity on the part of the separatist marionettes and Russian security services’ agents is a murderous attack against Georgia’s independence and freedom, but for Russia – protection of small nations allegedly fighting for freedom with the purpose of estab- lishment of peace. For us, and probably for the whole democratic world, Georgia’s integration into the European structures and NATO is the task related to stability, for Russia – encroachment upon its interests and stability. November 11 is Poland’s Liberation Day, the onset of its economic prosperity and political power, but for Russia – the day of the empire’s diminution and weakening of its economic interests.

The same is here – in Polish “uroda” means “fine”, while in Russian – “freak”. That is why the Poles and the Russian has never understood each other.

It is startling! It is not only we whom they understand the wrong - 152 -

way! It turns out that we and the Russians cannot reach mutual understanding because they understand everything in a different way, or want to understand it so. For example, when they ask: “What does Georgia want?” – We reply: “The freedom wished for centuries, protection of identity and economic prosperity.” They do not understand it! But they will understand it well if we say: “We want slavery, regeneration and distress.” It is natural that we do not understand each other, we understand one and the same word, phenomenon, fact and act in a different way. It is easy to come to an agreement with Russia, but you have to speak conversely. It is natural. Even now the country lives according to the principle – “right is the one who has more rights” and they use one and the same word in absolutely different meanings. It is so not because they fall short of words, but because they have always been slowwitted, unidentified “urodas”.

Not long ago economist and the Nobel Prize laureate Smith visited Tbilisi and delivered a lecture on the benefits of open economy and free trade to all countries and nations, why one should not steal, take away, oppress, how harmful it is for the one who steals and oppresses. However, the Russians do not want to understand Mr. Smith either. They have their own business interests in Georgia – in electric power distribution, nitrogen, banks and gold mining. Hundreds of thousands of Georgians are working now for the development of the Russian economy and culture. But they still do not understand, since what is fine for Europe is ugly for Russia.

No, they really have “uroda” politicians and “uroda” politics. In what language do I use the word “uroda”? Find it out yourselves.

October, Year 2006

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THE FOUNDER OF THE GEORGIAN PR (EURIPIDES) 2400 years ago, standing on the Athos Mountain, the greatest tragedian of the mankind and an incomparable PR maker for Georgia – Euripides looked at the sun for the last time. On the verge of life and death he for the last time remembered Colchis and Medea. He died and left the most famous Georgian – Medea’s Georgia to the mankind. Since then the humankind knows Georgia as Medea’a homeland. However, at that time Euripides did not realize that he was the greatest PR maker for Georgia.

Long live the power of PR! It has more megawatts than all turbi- nes of Inguri power station. Besides, the modern PR is an astonish- ing phenomenon; it greatly differs from the old classical one. For instance, you can impart some charm to some person – beard, spectacles, and then, like Ostap Bender, with a composed air proclaim him or her the father or the mother of democracy and economics, depending on what you need. Then promote him on all TV channels and make him appear with senseless “presentation” at all meetings and suddenly you will get a newly-fledged giant, a giant of thinking, and an ordinary nonentity will become a great scientist, politician or expert. What are you grieving over?

He is a real treasure! Let us say you want to bring some lame idea to people and convince them that the Earth has a shape of a rugby ball. Or if the things done by you in politics or in management that have collapsed were not that bad, or you are not a very sanguinary businessman as the public thinks and not very foolish and brainless, then you will put in action your weapon and he will appear in all available media and lead the people convincing them that a certain Chkhirichamiashvili is a defender of the nation and that nothing worries him except for Georgia’s prosperity. It does not matter that he is uneducated, that is still better! Where have - 154 -

you seen an educated person be good to anybody? They are very stubborn and that is why they are burnt in fire like Giordano Bruno. But Mr. Chkhirichamiashvili is an honest and plain man. He would agree to everything if only he had money and fame. He can tell lies hundred times a day and then correct it thousand times.

He has big eyes and humble look like a lamb before immolation, though he is so thick-skinned that can do any loathsome thing. He is a personage, he thinks of spirituality, but what else can he do, he has no soul at all. After such lecture people are sure to believe him. People think that this bearded expert is a bigwig. They do not know that he is a demagogue and Chkhirichamiashvili’s image will suddenly improve and again he will walk over people as ever.

This bearded person was created as a result of PR and thanks to it he acquired a halo of grandeur. Do you understand now? No? It is difficult, but it so. Everything is wrong side out.

Eh, PR is a great power. It is good that Euripides is not alive or he would not learn about this tragedy and would not bear it.

The genius’s methods have become out of date – both the time and PR have changed. The society has become divided into PR makers and PR consumers, everything has become simpler. What else? O! There are still people who remember the 2400th anniversary of Euripides’s death, the beginning of PR’s epoch, and still believe that that Centuries are formed into millenniums, Medea is still treating the sick, She calls to herself those stray by PR Always leaving us lonely And lays a laurel wreath On cursed PR magicians.

Eh! What a time it was, do you remember Euripides’s PR ep- 155 -

och?! Then PR was not an economic category, but, probably, there were Chkhirichamiashvilis, since they always exist as jesters in the king’s court.

November,Year 2006

KARMA - CLEAN THE KARMA IN THE NEW YEAR Strange, how this New Year of the pig has sneaked up and who knows what this aggressive fiery boar will bring? This is the question that worries all of us. It involves energetics, politics and love.

Not long ago I listened to the astrologer in the media, you know whom I imply, and all of you listen to him stealthily. I have much respect for this ancient and most honourable science, but when I listen to this man it seems to me that I speak to my mother – do not trust everybody, it will be a useful year for bilateral meetings, do not take ill-considered steps, do not make enemies to yourselves (mother always lectures and pesters us this way), and when the Sagittarius enters the Jupiter’s areal, beware of walking in the street in the dark, especially avoid unknown persons and long trips.

It turns out to be a good period (i.e. 2007) for carrying out operations on joints and I suddenly thought maybe we should make a couple of operations since the period is so favourable. And in the end he added that one should clean the karma. Here is karma again, gas and smoke.

I did not think that these kinds of questions are also solved by the stars in the sky. At this moment a voice from the street was heard from a microphone – “I clean the karma”. “Be blessed”, - I thought at heart, - “come, the New Year is approaching and it turns out that it is necessary to clean the karma”, I said. The person came and asked: “Where is the karma?” “I do not know, ask the emperor - 156 -

of this zodiac”, I said and pointed to the TV set. The moustached craf- tsman glanced at me in doubt and looked up, but I do not know why he looked up. He whistled and rushed out like a meteor.

Here, I started to speak in cosmic terms too. But we have so much to do and we do not know what karma we should clean and how?!

I dragged out my concerned, stunned and stooped body. I was walking along cold Tbilisi streets (on top of that a cold weather has set in when the whole world is disturbed by excessive warming – here our neighbouring Russia has become snowed up by petrodollars but falls short of snow, but it would be better vice versa.

Ices in the Antarctic split up and started to drift, but for the time being nobody knows where they are going and whether they have a visa - I hope that they will not be able to reach our country. They say that they started to melt away, the sun has flared up like a Fantomas and is sending some terrible depression to the Earth as well as excessive rays, but spares them for us; I wonder what have we have done wrong to it; thinking what karma to clean and where.

But the year of the piglet has come and the Jupiter is going to be angry. I met a chubby elderly neighbour of mine and he, like me, was pre- occupied with universal problems. “Uncle Vakho, we should clean the karma”, I said and told him about the astrologer’s words and my torment. He was thinking for a long time and then said: “If you have no karma, buy it and give it for cleaning”. “How much is it?” – I asked. “The price of two piglets”. “And cleaning?” – “The price of three kilograms of nut”. The astrologer’s advice turns out to be expensive. “Everything has risen in price in this world, so why the advice of this unfortunate astrologist seem expensive to you”, uncle Vakho said and told me where karma was sold. I went there, but they did not sell it to me! “You do not need this karma, you’ve got it”. “Which one?” “The one astrologist was speaking about”. But - 157 -

I swore on the piglet looking like Tutankhamen’s mummy bought in September for the New Year’s party that I did not have it (being afraid that it would rise in price I calculated the piglet’s futures price in conditions of the existing trend and estimated how to buy it cheap in September, and now in my refrigerator I have the stock keeping of which costs me more than Tutankhamen’s mummy cost to Egypt).

After holding one-hour forum I was convinced that we have kar- ma (it’s good that it doesn’t work on gas or we would die) some- where between gall-bladder and kidneys or between brain and lar- ynx and it ought to be cleaned. I was stunned since another compo- nent – cleaning of karma was added to the New Year’s expenses! But my grandfather has not cleaned it for 100 years. However, there was neither gas nor karma and there were no such expensive New Years. Still, which karma should be cleaned – ours or the Czechs’? What New Year has come – people give up their wives and chil- dren and thousands of other things and we would not be able to give up a piglet? We shall say that probably you will have to! Two karmas, two headings, two bricks and...

Congratulations. Clean both karmas, who knows, what will happen!

December, Year 2006

HERE IS THE STORY OF INDIAN-RUSSIAN KHINKALI AND KEBAB, OR WHAT DO WE NEED HASSP FOR? One may think we have changed our profile against the background of this bitter winter frost and switched to the analysis of the issues related to the food industry’s technologies. Do not make haste – khinkali is a purely economic category, not to mention kebab elongated to one and a half meters and squeaky like a wick- 158 -

et of a wooden village house. If you ask Georgians whether they ate Indian-Russian kebab, they will toss up a stone and put their head under it. What are you speaking about – we have not seen it, khinkali is a purely Georgian dish. However, hundreds of thousands of Georgians daily eat khinkali with non-standard Indian meat wrapped up in Russian second grade wheat flour. Just water is Georgian. Georgian cuisine is that a half of the world will not guess it – so attractively they cook them. And if you wash it down with 100 grams of alcohol, you will think that they were wrapped in Khevsureti region (the motherland of the dish). Now look how kebab’s length has increased, how pleasantly it creaks as if it were not meat, but some substitute. It is a pure import, an Indian one, so they do not spare this cheap meat – eat it as much as you like. Indian goods are in fashion now, and in India they were added one point in Standard & Poor’s rating. Do we have anything against it? Just nothing, but we have to know what we eat. Therefore, we should know HASSP. Do you know about it? No? Oh...it is very important!

For instance, we eat starch instead of matsoni and yoghurt of one or more than one firm. We consume soya instead of meat, dye stuff – instead of tea, foul fish – instead of canned one, bran – instead of bread, powder mixed with concentrate – instead of coffee, aspirin – instead of Viagra. Besides, in the morning you ate sour cream that had been boiled, milk in which there was something wrong with lactose, dried milk powder, out of which cottage cheese was prepared, had been made of ill-conditioned milk, and the sausages that you ate had some strange taste – here the technological process was broken.

You remember January 2, 2006 – when the minister appeared on television and predicted bringing 40% of Georgians to the grave.

After that chicken meat production went bankrupt and this - 159 -

business suffered losses of many millions. We completely stopped this process. Why? HASSP was not inculcated and we could not understand to what particular critical point some impudent bacterium would steal. Imagine that you are very hungry and eating a crisp chicken trotter. You have no wish to look for these poor viruses, and HASSP will take care of you if you implement it. Besides, according to the rule, you should know at which farm and on what feed the bird that is rapidly rushing to your stomach was raised. They used to say – first take a look at mother, father and then at their child, and now it is as follows – take a look at mother, father, hen-coop, and the feed and the hen, then boil it – here is HASSP’s rule. Now imagine that you went to India and, according to HASSP’s issues, in order to find out the history of the meat that comfortably settled down in khinkali you should ask the cows that escaped with their life, and then you will never eat either beef or khinkali. How do you guess, why Indians themselves do not eat this meat? They have learnt its history and do not eat it. In general, the whole periodic table is lurking behind beautiful labels at our markets. I remember when I was a child, Russians made caviar out of oil. It was not bad when I tasted it, but it had nothing to do with caviar except for the appearance. How far the science has gone?!

Eh! You eat sausage, pork and reckon the amount of proteins with a calculator in your hand in order not to get the excess amount of it. Do not worry, dear – there is almost no protein in it. Or they say that one should not drink coffee before going to bed, since caffeine will not let you sleep – on the contrary, there is no caffeine in our coffee – drink a big cup and sleep quietly. When you are hungry, even cold mchadi (Georgian meal) seems sugar to you (every third Georgian, including me, has diabetes because we like mchadi). It is true, mchadi contains more sugar and cacao than the chocolate - 160 -

in our trading network. After a number of years all this will end up in the fact that this chemistry will bring serious diseases to us – we shall forget both hunger and khinkali. You do not believe me? Ask the Europeans. Why we are not admitted to the European food market? – Inculcate the system of safety and control over food products. First you should find out what you eat and then bring it to us, i.e. first eat it and then share it with us. They gave us money, wrote a law for us, but we do not like HASSP, every year we drag out its adoption and eat Indian-Russian khinkali. The squeak of Indian kebab is so attractive to us that we shall not control what we eat, it is not necessary to know it or our hearts will break. Therefore, we take care of the people so that their hearts should not break and, for this reason, it is better for them not to know and die happy.

Or what should we do in Europe? We have a lot to do here. Do you still want to find out what HASSP is? Is it necessary for you to know it? Then the whole restaurant and market business will go bankrupt, and I do not want to cause damage to either the country’s economy or the fame of Indian-Russian khinkali and kebab.

In such cases they say: if you know a lot, you will grow old soon.

There are so many critical points in us that we shall not be able just count them, and it makes no sense anyway.

January, Year 2007

- 161 -

COMPLETELY EXCLUSIVE – CONCERNING THE INVASION OF EXTRATERRESTRIAL OR ALIEN ECONOMISTS AND THEIR SECRET ACTIVITIES “Socrates, what does kindness mean to you – knowledge, comfort or something else?” Socrates: “Do you think that it is fair when a person speaks about something that he does not know and passes himself off as an expert?” “What a venomous tongue you have, Socrates! - Trasimac said, - can one understand my words the wrong way round?” Plato, “Republic”, translated by Bachana Bregadze, Tb. 2003, pp. 20, 243.

The community of scientific economists of Georgia is seriously anxious: there are rumours that unknown economists invaded the Georgian space, study the Georgian economy and publish articles in different magazines under others’ names. One might say that on the whole the articles are not bad and they even win positive and rapturous appraisals of sceptics, but who are they? It must not be so!

The respected scientific community has become anxious and, to tell the truth, quite justly. It is spring and the first of April is coming, but everything has its limits!

Not long ago mister Paata, a professor asked one of my collaborators – Miss. Nino: “Was not it you who wrote this article?” (The matter concerned the Editor’s Column placed in “SE” !1 that was embellished with my signature.) Why did this idea occur to Mr. Paata? Because a foreign word “HASSP” was used there, this means control and monitoring of critical points in checking pro- duction and safety of food products. “But what particular is there here?” – My educated reader may ask. “Nothing!” – The adequate answer would be. Except for one thing – in my opinion, in Georgia there is only one specialist in this field. So, who could discourse on these issues? Either that one or an alien. There is no other opinion. And - 162 -

what about the signature??? It was ascribed to something written by other person as it is said by anxious Plato: “Do you think that it is fair when a person speaks about something that he does not know and passes himself off as an expert?”

Plato is right, but with respect to whom? Now it is being studied by the Georgian economic science – to the only specialist in this field or to the signature. That signatory rarely signs his articles because he writes often and does not want the public to be bored with him and often puts someone else’s name to his economic articles, that is why the discussion’s logic became simpler – he would not have signed something written by someone else! However, there is an ongoing search aimed at exposure of aliens. Moreover, one respected professor kindly tells me that here (“Sakartvelos Ekonomika” magazine is implied) there are so many analytical articles that we discussed who writes them. An inter- mediate study carried out in the aforementioned club ascertained that it is aliens that write a lot, take it to the editorial office and then the editor picks out the material; or there is another variant – such a big honorarium is to these alien economists that they write for this magazine with pleasure.

God be praised! I did say that aliens exist, that one should look for our saviours not at the bottom of Bazaleti but in the sky! Here is the result – they have come down and are here, and, for some reason, they have chosen economic journalism as the sphere of their activities and, if one ask me, to absolutely no purpose. Anyway, no one will believe or listen to them! Thus, this kind of illegal activities will not bring anything good to them, but since “alien” experts focused their attention on Georgia, the matter stands as follows: 1. either they are very needy since there is a high unemployment there and they are attracted by local honorariums, - 163 -

2. or we are so hard up that they are sorry for us and write articles in economics.

In both cases a direct kinetic analysis is very interesting from the viewpoint of practical geometry and the chaos theory as well as a pure neo-modernistic and neo-virtual economy.

“Oh, what a venomous tongue you have, Socrates!” So we, our magazine became interested in this phenomenon and announced a prize in the amount of 666 (this figure is a magic sign of the sceptics) USD to the person who will find the alien that is an incognito writer of this article, since if he were an earthly and local economist, our all-knowing professorate would certainly know him and, besides, I think that they do not have his like. Time is running, gentlemen!

The die is cast, All strength is spent, All words are translated, Vain chatter is ashes, The writer of the analytical article is a brick He seems to be knowing, And if you tried this prize You should find this alien, Lazarus; If not – stop the jabber.

No, Socrates is right! Kindness is justice!

I beg you to find me till the first of April and I shall have a rest from so much writing and you will be awarded with pink bilberry.

Yours faithfully Emzar Jgerenaia February, Year 2007

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KEYNES FROM KUTAISI OR WHAT MISTAKES MADE BY JOHN FOUND GEORGIAN SCHOLAR ECONOMISTS “Let us take Investment first. In popular usage it is common to mean by this the purchase of an asset, old or new, by an individual or a corporation. Occasionally, the term might be restricted to the purchase of an asset on the Stock Exchange. But we speak just as readily of investing, for example, in a house, or in a machine, or in a stock of finished or unfinished goods; and, broadly speaking, new investment, as distinguished from reinvestment, means the purchase of a capital asset of any kind out of income.”

The General Theory of Employment, Interest and Money by John Maynard Keynes Kutaisi, 1995, page: 88.

Oh, I started very hardly, so hardly that I actually surprised myself. That is classical and principally unchanged explanation of investments up to now and fits the spring very much. Lots of hardships appear in spring. Since more then 60 thousand young people leave school and more then 30 thousand complete their undergraduate studies, 5 thousand graduate form professional collages and 5000 thousand take their master` s degrees. Just 15 000 of them will keep continue studying at the universities and other ones will enter the labour-market in search of job. According to experts’ calculations our labour-market can offer only 1500 working places.

Do not think that such thing happens only in Georgia. There is the same situation in whole world – employment of young people is very hard issue. What the Keynes has to do at that? This Cambridge graduator, father of economy discovered “basic psycho- logical rule” of the society –one’s aspiration for consumption is less than his interest in increasing own income.

But Keynes did not mean Georgia while creating his postulates - 165 -

in Cambridge, because consumption equals income in 98% of cases. Why? Because we do not like Keynes and we do not trust his one hundred page books? Or Georgian economic school has own fathers and runs its path? Or Georgian economy is full orphan? No, no and no!!!!! . . .

We have our national peculiarities and if Keynes would have been alive I would proudly and tell him the following in face: that is important factor; we are and were expense and spree lover nation from ancient times. So, these fundamental models and schemes of Keynes cannot be put into practice among us. And for instance the same his attitude towards unemployment, inflation and money amount.

No, we are or neo- neoKeynesians or may be the best ones anti – Keynesians.

Investment boom flourishes in Georgia, what is followed with inflation rumble and unemployment hubbub. Keynes tells about voluntary unemployment and illusion of complete employment.

We, Georgian economists moved further and created self- employment category. In Keynes and his teachers –A. Marshal and A. Purig times, there existed households, but they haven’t even think of moving it to employment category. However, we managed to do this, and self – employment takes up army of newly baked 100 000 unemployed people. Yes, there are talks that they lack of qualification in the west and they were not educated at our sky-blue coloured west based newly established institutes.

Yes, they are talking about bad qualification level in the west and did not receiving education at our sky-blue coloured west based newly created institutes. Is that right? – Exactly. All of us want the west MBA>PHD and like that. But the rest? Other ones will be self - employed. But the price of these west marks and de- 166 -

grees include 5000 Euros and 12 000 USD, while the salary of the specialists in Georgia is 500 -800 USD considering optimal variant?

Oh, did you guess what the role of investments is? Keynes war repeatedly mis- taken, he should have added – investing in education and if he did not, the only one he might blame is himself. We added and created cascade of new theories – study investments. However, we faced just one problem, and again according to Keynes, when he is talks about marginal effectiveness of the capital (page: 159), effective- ness of the field leaves much to be desired. That’s not a problem, new Georgian economic science works concerning the issue and will try its best. The bottom line is that we have discovered new type of employment: self-employment. So, I would like tell all these 100 000 young people: employee yourself immediately in self – employment. What does it mean? Oh, you should have learnt investment theory of several Georgian economists, instead that of Keynes and you would understand the deal and would not face the problem. They have already taken care of this issue and published Keynes employment, percentage and money general theory in Georgian language in Kutaisi. They say the book is all about us, but who believes Keynes from Kutaisi; if he were from Cambridge the things would have been different. Stop telling me that he is that Keynes and if he is what has he lost in Kutaisi and how he could make so many mistakes???!!!

I wonder where these 100 000 young people will go? Or what would have been Keynes response if he were alive? No, I must look though the Keynes again, may be I’ll find out something else, except just the self-employment.

March, Year 2007

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WHO HAS STOLEN THE SPRING? “Inflation is Plunder!” Robert Christiansen, IMF Representative to Georgia Tbilisians are awaiting summer hopelessly, but they are not alone in this expectation. Indeed, stubborn summer is late. The winter lasted and appearing of summer is probably expected in several up-coming weeks. We are anxious, where the spring has gone?

What’s going on? There are phone calls to weather bureau, turmoil and moaning. No one heard about such snow fall in April, non stopping cold and freeze is really terrible, our brains and other part of the body are almost frozen.

Our complaints have passed in vain; the spring was already made to answer for own actions, and saw off where it was necessary. Reliable agiler informed us that the spring has accumulated debts of last year. It had deficiency in warmth. That was the reason of excessive consumption of gas and electricity in 2006.

Therefore, first gas price increased last year and then the electricity price this year, or vice versa, but it doesn’t matter anyway.

And what is more, Its Highness spring masterminded everything and how would “they” miss this point... They summoned the spring still in winter concerning matters of last year.

As it turns out, spring waste last year’s warmth that caused increase of office maintenance expenses and thus the budget is missing huge funds from it. First, the expenses of budget organiza- tion went up, and then the costs of office heating and keeping secretaries warm increased. Naturally these funds were put to expenses in the balance sheet that finally was resulted in decrease of taxable income.

Correspondingly, the fewer funds were collected from income tax in the budget. Spring is accused in everything; this is a serious - 168 -

accusation... And that’s not all – “corresponding organs” sent a letter to the sky and checked back spring’s activities... Marvel... what one might not hear. It appeared that spring has given our portion of warmth and sunshine days to Europe. That is why it is extremely hot in Europe and Europeans are burning under the sun, while we are freezing of cold.

There have been talks that the reason of good attendance at presidential election in France was that people were trying to save electricity in their own houses and at the same time to get cool via air conditioners installed at polling stations.

So, it became angry about that spring has taken bribe for that.

Briefly, it is accused under third clause in bribery and in selling our portion of warmth to others. Moreover, they blame spring in last year inflation – 12-14% and of current inflation – 10-14%. What it was expecting? As big economists and representatives of international organizations say inflation is a classical thievery. Just imagine that you have a salary of 1000 GEL, while inflation is 14%, i.e. actually they are paying you 860 GEL and the rest is stolen. If salary and inflation remains the same this year, then your wage will amount 700 GEL. If Beso Jugeli project passes and they make us to pay more for gas and electricity as compared with the payment doe to our spring frolicking, then the salary will amount 450 GEL. Now tell me, isn’t it a thievery? Now, recalculate this sum for 700 thousand employed people, 1.2 million self-employed and imagine that spring is being accused in this.

Poor Spring... I feel pity for it. According to inter-seasonal and international criminal law code, if guiltiness of spring is to be proved then 30 light years of confinement is expecting it. It won’t get away with freezing and suffering Georgian people.

- 169 -

So, there are talks that spring is in prison and thus how would it come to us? Yes, it won’t get away with it, but what is our fault in this that we are suffering of snow and rain. Everything is for better, as you will not need cloak.

Moreover, we are the first country in the world where the spring is abolished and this is especially important. In addition, we are the first who made spring to answer for own actions.

There is another problem – I cannot help myself of not saying it, according to the same reliable source, spring has got a mobile phone in jail and it called Neptune. The last is going to revenge and he is going to bring floods and downpours upon us. Neptune is acting in collusion with sun and they put a claim - either free spring and exculpate it or you won’t avoid floods. So, there are discussions whether to exculpate spring or not. Maybe they will sentence it to nine months imprisonment and spring will return to us in the future March. Who knows, maybe it would be possible to reach procedural agreement, if the spring would have witnessed against its superiors. They might have freed it at all. However, it refuses. It doesn’t want to pay the sum.

I told you the truth, but unfortunately I couldn’t make you happy. The spring is not coming. I wonder who has stolen spring. Or in what economic crime is it guilty of? Will it come next year?

We will bear snow, downpours and rains, but what is more, they have to return spring to us.

No, indeed, who stole the spring?

April, Year 2007

- 170 -

“BE WHAT YOU ARE” – NIETZSCHE, THUS SPAKE ZARATHUSTRA “Ye have made your way from the worm to man, and much within you is still worm. Once were ye apes, and even yet man is more of an ape than any of the apes.” Page 8 Publishing house “Misi” 1990, page 171 Human nature is amazing. As Nietzsche used to say, it is a rope, cord, stretched between animal and superman. A rope, which stretches over abyss; the abyss is his greed and cupidity mixed with evilness. Greed is a perfect and natural economic category, its cause- effect relationship lies between human’s demand satisfaction and lack of resources and what can one do, he is acting according to economic laws. How can he move up the stream? Greed is close to motivation and greedy man or businessmen to motivated person, so coming out of his nature, everything is justified on this way. I sharply debated with my colleague, the University professor Mrs. Mzia on the subject whether business and moral are compatible elements. She was prov- ing that this is possible, but I argued the opposite. To my mind it is impossible big business to be moral under such competitive, dog eat god rules and in terms of current politicization. So, according to this economy law, naive young souls of young people are defrauded. Most media or non –media business, moreover, their instinctive ani- mal taste may be absolutely human, and thus one earns money by bare feelings. Is there anything new? Nothing, but still...

Just put your hand on your heart for the praise of 1400 years old cross bless, and tell your view on whose words are “Be What You Are!” frequently heard in commercials of “Sprite” and “Cosmo”?

These words are even in the advertisement and slogan of Cosmopolitan.

- 171 -

“Be What You Are and be Special” – and how is that if I am not special, but I am exactly who I am. However, that philosophical dilemma is absolutely inoffensive if we do not fully apprehend Cosmopolitan “soul” and if do not become “Cosmo girl”. You might ask how? Read the last issue of Cosmo and you will understand.

There is nothing new –sex poses, that is new Georgian Kama sutra, (especially important and useful pose is small cart) “why husband does not allow wife min...doing?” “I like oral sex, but he believes that is abnormal”. “What to do, when I am eager for perfect sex?

“Page 22. Want an advice – pay 8 GEL. That` s nothing, it` s very cheap by calculations for the solution of generation problem. Oh, one friend of mine divorced, because after reading the article he asked wife in “small –cart” pose, that` s new, he told. She told that had no enough strength in hands, and the response was: why got married if haven’t had enough strength. And he got divorced. One important circle of GDP creators separated and economy suffered serious damage, the same went with budget, because while living together had at least 40 000 profit and made common tax payments, but the profit separated and are no more payers (some misfortune is fortune). Everything seems difficult, what` s your view on that?

And what are the views of teenagers while reading Cosmo willing to become Cosmo girls. No we are not inquisition, God Bless Us! But has money any moral side despite of economy values? I guess we are turmoil in vain, it has not! I would not cry just a word, but economy is in problems, Chinese and Indian goods trade failed, because wo- men colored underwear and bikini are not sold any more. Why? Because women were strictly advised: what are you doing? If you will be invited by beloved and he offers you to have sex with him, leave aside your colored, flower pictured underwear and put on black “La-Perla”. Pity small and average business bankrupted. No, that is fantastic magazine and good that such sort of things exist in reality, just advices our citizens and responses on - 172 -

their questions. But we should secure economy and brain of teenagers, who like the maga- zine and not for the advices. But, still it is important economic issue how to behave in bed with a man. No I am not inquisitor, and not censurer, Georgia is a free country, but are we the apes Nietzsche told about?

So there is no importance in reminding ourselves –be what you are! Or there is really something of earthworm in us? Many people were thinking about these issues in May, except for the author of the article. And what about you?

May, Year 2007

ABOUT SOCIAL-ECONOMIC ASPECTS OF COCA-COLA BUSINESS IN HI-TECH EPOCH New “charitable foundation” of Coca- Cola or Georgian care about health of people, workers, youth and socially unsecured people.

Torrid heat came at last! I guess summer started and musty people (of recent spring rains) appeared in the streets. They felt thirsty in such a hot weather and started to nervously seek for cooling drinks. Recent times have passed already-when you could came across the boxes in every corner of the street that looked like a gipsy camps. What one might not see in these dirty streets – you could drink, eat fifty-tetri Khachapuri or one GEL and fifty tetri Ham- burger, a fish caught in 1907 and smoked in 1939 with beer coloured spirit mixed water (this is pure Georgian recipe and quite cland- estine) and could just have a real dinner while walking to the under- ground. But now? Everything is cleaned and sparkling now and the street has lost its attraction. Tired or bored Tbilisi citizens are dragg- ing to the underground yawningly, there is nothing - 173 -

new happening, what can they do?!

Oh, just wait! Oh, miracle, God will not doom to tedium the people that are walking in the streets starched like linen. There is a new box, just the box, dressed like a betrothed form Imereti region with sparkling eyes, familiar colour of Coca-Cola and strange shy expression. I remembered bulletin of the National Bank of Georgia reporting about high- tech achievements of monetary business.

The report was saying that NBG issued of one lari coin (but the coin is really cool designed and valued) and thus gave Coca-Cola opportunity to place automated boxes in the streets. So Coca-Cola has put this box in the corner of Belinski street, just 200 metres from under- ground. God bless you! Have a glory tortured worker! So, they placed such sort of machine at the corner of Belinsky Street, 200 meters long from the underground. Time of some sweets having has come. I searched one lari coin in my pocket and with trembling hand dropped it into the mysterious section with regret, following the instructions; I pushed a finger on the button with desired bottle and waited with patience, but in vain. I remembered words of Vazha- Pshavela – “expectation of enemies is endless”, that gave me strength; another thirsty citizen came and repeated the same process, stood next to me and waited, but also in vain. We begged the automat: do not kill us thirsty but it did not give out a bottle of Coca- Cola.

There was mobile phone numbers and a prescription, something like –phone in the case of hardships and we will come immediately.

We phoned number with huge hope, planning to ask for a help, the answer was that they were just for the issue there and be at the place soon. We phoned back in ten minutes and the phone was already disconnected, we called the other number were told the same and it appeared being disconnected also, we called the city number - 174 -

and a lady that just drank “Espresso” and “Bonaqua” responded, she assured us to investigate the occurrence and inform us lately. We disconnected the phone with hope and suddenly it downed upon us: how was she going to inform us if she even has not asked a telephone number?

While wiping sweat from my face I suddenly heard cynical laugh of a lady, turned back and saw natural flowers and land seller, looking at me with screwed up eyes - do not worry, the hell with it, the box bolts down the coins and yet it hasn’t given a bottle of cola to anyone, she said. They come in the evening, take out coins, laugh and go back gladly. They do not answer the phone because they are caring about your health condition, the other said: no Cola-Cola established a charitable foundation that way.

I grow torpid, as they told about health I thought, maybe the automat has special sensor which was informed about my diabetes and does not give any Coca- Cola (the techniques has really progressed, I looked at my suffered friend with fear and he turned out also to be plump and maybe he was forbidden to drink sweet), the third person was thin, but I thought he just made donation at the corner of Belinsky street. Now I understand meaning of the words about putting the street into order –Coca- Cola become needy and receives donations; or cares about our health, not to let us catch the cold and to put weight. However, my respectable readers suffering of torrid heat before pulling little coin into the magic box find out which category you belong to first.

Automat will not give Cola, Complain Mullah, Or give tribute Bobola, Do not take debt, Do not loss Gel - 175 -

You will receive no “Bonaqua” water, Do not worry, Do not ask for coin, Do not get into trouble, Dot not make a call, will you win a victory over Coca-Cola army?

Go back to the life calmly, You may drink the water somewhere else, Auto-bandit stands in the street, Do not imitate him, Walk up the street, Back to home, Do not seek for the justice, Do not gain Coca-Cola debt, Do not check the blame, Do not look at obscenity, Automat is caring, Do not lose a second just, Bolted down?

Take it easy!

Calm down with no care!

But just imagine the high-tech, Coca-Cola cares about us very, how it was informed about my diabetes and that I was plump? But now I am aware of socially oriented business-aspects... that`s really cool! But do not donate even a lari anyway.

June, Year 2007

“TELASI” IMMORTALS OF SEN SIMON, FURIES AND OWEN OR KOJORI VARIATION OF PARIS COMMUNE Thanks God that we were able to get rid of socialism! People sighed with relief and excited with freedom and private property - 176 -

instincts they started to build market economy in the way they could do it, based on their mentality, individualism and western advices. Those who have not lived in socialist times will not be able to understand the power of common property and socialistic mentality. For instance, if your friend in Zestaponi could not mine enough volume of black stones and devote it to homeland, while you were working hard and mining excessive amount of stones, you would not receive any bonus or percent or complementary (often real reimburse). Everything was common and one should have answered for behaviour of the others. The same was in agri- cultural sector – if Domentia (old Georgian first name) would gather less tea due to hangover, you would stay without bread and butter.

So, such policy failed, the socialism came to the end and went with history. But the issue is not so easy. The team spirit is still alive, but not in our hearts, but in counters.

“Telasi” managers reported that everything new is well forgotten old. They went to Public Library, were the electricity was cut, by their order, opened Utopian Socialism treatises, written by French classics Sen Simon and Furies and created new, but now typical, mentioning commune of real electricity counters. In this epoch of technique and industrial world this work was not surprising for anybody, but why they chose counters. Georgia became experi- mental basis and especially, its much suffered Kojori, poor Kojori (it is really unfortunate, Russians invaded Kojori in the name of Red Army first and then with Telasian electricity army did the same). Entire Kojori population united under one electricity commune and established power consumption according all wishes and demands, and payment – according abilities.

They “ignored” the counters and “Supervisor Manager” himself, looking like Furies`s Assistant, wrote off debts and estimated him- 177 -

self who and how much should pay, he ordered: make him pay 2000 lari, her – 1600 lari and that one 100 lari. He was asked: “but why?” And the response was: “that`s rule of commune, we have implemented it”. Besides, they supply electricity to poor Kojori when they wish-seasonally. As, for instance, they cut electricity in September of 2006 and turned on in December for several days, because of winter coming, then the electricity supply was restored on Easter and now at the end of July. What`s up?! They did not fail a season. “Telasi” has no time elucidating who and how much power used in commune, when he is facing such a huge deal, let Kojori residents elucidate who, when and how much has con- sumed.

Following principle of our great ancestor – “rob the rich and give to the poor”. This doubt goes further – from raging epoch of Sen Simon to Plato. Just remember, Aristotle and Plato debated about the same – is it good or bad to have private property? So, one should not reject merit of ancestors, but pay honour and follow “Telasi” opinion about commune and commune properties to be the best, and if one is owner of property and monopolist, he may cut power immediately to any if telling him just a word. Moreover, the idea was “sold” to “Tbilisi Water”, which schedules water communes creating. And my neighbours from downstairs are al- ready protesting – he is weighing is 135 kilograms and drinks five litres of water a day, and just imagine how much he will use in Jacuzzi, they say.

One of “protester” neighbours has a son and a dog; the family have no shower and drink water at neighbours till today. I got frightened, imagining my neighbour Giuli, standing in my bathroom and shouting “stop bathing”!

We still feel nostalgia for socialism, but with Kojori new accent.

Capitalist “Telasi’ top managers want to have population united under communes and live in socialism. There is nothing new here; - 178 -

Central Committee (“CEKA”) secretaries lived as bourgeoisie, but kept people in communes.

I just want to tell you, that neither Sen Simon is Kojori dweller or Plato from Imereti region, and Telasi will not manage to turn back time, even with its voltage megawatts flittering like butterfly wings. So, let alone experiments or read Sen Simon together with history of France. Otherwise this matter will not end well. To my mind, it very beneficial that Telasi and Rao AES are in energy business and not in any other field such as for instance healthcare.

If they were managing maternity hospitals, we would have had common children as it was in Sparta, centuries ago. Maybe they have not read the history of Sparta and privatization process of healthcare objects is just started. So, the future will show.

Oh, just a moment! It` s not a bad idea! Jester among friends (especially of Jhorjholiani) or suffering of poor women with catchword – “to be hero mother or mother of son” will come to the end, and we will equally have boys and girls and childlessness problem will be solved –with common children of commune. And... the commune in 21st century? I am selling the idea to “Telasi” and “Tbilisi Water”, and what is you view on Sen Simon`s Spartan – Georgian commune implementation in Georgia, will this “knowhow” work in communal maternities? I`ll sell the idea to “Telasi” and “Tbilisi Water” in half of price, if they express any interest, swear light remembrance of Furies.

Emzar Jgerenaia, fan of commune July, Year 2007

- 179 -

THEORETICAL ASPECTS OF HOSPITALITY AND WHETHER VAZHA-PSHAVELA WAS OR NOT THE FOUNDER OF ECONOMY SCHOOL Or Vazha-Pshavela`s version of PhD in Tourism for the first time in the world.

I would like to warn my philologist friends in advance – I’ll never intervene in their competence, save me God! I just went back to everlasting topic of hospitality once again, as I had no idea about its theoretical and economic backgrounds and that it is a object of PhD research in Georgia. I just thought for myself –what a strange people we, economists are. We discovered that what nation considers being its genealogical property, has economic characteristics and began to research it, we moved it from Philology to economic laboratory. By the way, I can’t exactly tell you what is to be resear- ched. Is it continuation of Vazha’s ideas or is it just a good promo- tion of tourism and increasing the number of well trained waiters/ waitresses. In case the issue is connected to Vazha, we should think about the problem of highly qualified policemen and law enforce- ments system development, so that tourists feel safe.

Or we might think about what a tourist bus driver should wear.

Why not? Doesn’t the side, from which the waiter brings Khinkali to the table at Tsiskvili restaurant matter? It was an art before and became a science now.

I suddenly imagined a foreign advertisement and methods of Hotel reservation. That is a sphere full of details. So many hotels are being built; it would be a shame to employ there cooks who have finished only six months training courses or receptionists who’ve reached the positions without having fundamental and scientific knowledge.

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Just imagine an advertisement – You are being served by cook Jhujhuna, Doctor of Hospitality studies – Sounds fine! Tourists will be amazed. Their appetite will rise and they will start telling legends about us. Although I’m involved in research, I got confused.

By the way, the World Tourism Organization conducted a conference at Sheraton Metechi Palace Hotel by the end of September.

I listened attentively to the number of participants from different counties. They don’t have PhD degree in tourism because those undeveloped countries have not started PhD Programs in Tourism yet (We’ll bring them here and assist them to become doctors). But that is just part of business, and anything new from the sphere of economy is the part of international business.

I asked everyone if they knew Doctors of Tourism. They all were surprised and said they’ve never heard of it. They asked me to tell about Economic theory and a new school of hospitality, also about PhD School. Well, I couldn’t say anything, just several names that have serious intentions regarding this issue in Georgian economy.

The World Tourism Organization got interested in the initiative and was quite enthusiastic about it. But later I was asked about the object and means of research. Of course I wasn’t able to give an answer. I just told them about Vazha. They were surprised to know that tourism has a long history in Georgia and said that our country is the first one preparing Doctors (PhDs) in this field. Represen- tatives of so called Tourism Mecca were astonished.

An active and energetic girl came up and brought coffee to us.

Another yet beardless young man changed our ashtray. A grown– up Georgian came out from the hotel reception and discussed depar- ture agenda with our guests, checked plane tickets once again and offered them to visit Mtskheta with a guide as their next day was free. He was a real host! I asked him where he had learned all these hospitality issues, and he said he had done two months courses in Bratislava. ‘What do you mean,’ I asked, ‘Haven’t you got - 181 -

a PhD degree’? He said he had never heard of the thing like that.

See, he had no idea about our Know-How, although he could deal with the hospitality issues quite well. The World Trade Organization added that they intend to open a six months school in tourism with their financial support, they plan to prepare highly qualified managers and bring specialists from abroad.

As for PhD, well... they said they have no specialists in this field and have never thought about it.

Well, well, well... I laughed to myself with sarcasm and almost jumped up of happiness. I discovered the fact that for the first time in the world Georgian University has PhD and will have Doctors in this sphere. We are the best in the theory of tourism. This will make Poor Vazha turn in his grave when he hears about it. Economist greatly valued Vazha’s work. They made his work as the world top issue. We might have no tourism, but have Doctors of tourism, so what?

Number of waiter (waitress) and tour operators will be increased. Aren’t we cool? We are keen on being leaders. We have the cleverest person at the university – Mr. Zimmerman from Germany, advisor to the Rector, who also teaches at the London School of Economics and knows a lot about the system of higher education. I asked him too, but he had no idea and had never heard about it. We, the Georgians may shock anyone.

Well, I know people in Tbilisi, able to be the Hospitality Doctors – Givi Sikharulidze and Reno Inashvili.

We are the nation with traditions, for sure! We are the first!

The others had no idea about tourism when Vazha –Pshavela was writing on theories of hospitality.

September, Year 2007

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LET’S ABOLISH ANNOYING INFLATION, IT’S HOPPING AND JUMPING Hard times have come, everyone found a spare time for us. It is said USD has devaluated and everyone started buying oil, while fuel prices rise in Georgia, price of a Metric ton is USD 900 already. Fuel will soon cost 2 GEL. What happened to wheat price?

It has also increased, USD 320-340 per tone, i.e. it has increased by 20 %. The same happens with sugar and fat. Prices increase on everything, still inflation holds firm.

Economists are at a deadlock. Theory postulates are mixed up, formulas have become lazy and don’t work, and new era is on the way in the theory of economy. It becomes more and more difficult to stand the word ‘Inflation’. People have gone mad. What is the inflation rate – 8.5% or 13%?

By the way, 13 is a number bringing misfortune. Perhaps number 8 is better. 5 is the most beautiful and lucky number. Am I naughty? Well, was it me who started? No, gentlemen, we couldn’t get it what the inflation rate was, what the inflation itself is, and who is the magician calculating all this. It reminds me of a joke: patient to a doctor: I have a blood pressure, doctor to a patient: be happy, it means, you are alive!

Therefore, be happy! If there is inflation, there is an economy as it is an accompanying process. But what the inflation rate is? This bears great importance, and all the tracks are lost here, the answer is the following: the rate is what we want it to be. It depends on our point of view.

I went to ask about it to the representatives of International Monetary Fund. They did not give me any answer – they said they leave Georgia and end their program. Then I visited the World Bank office and got the same answer – they said they leaving Geor- 183 -

gia and abolishing the program. I went to World Bank office and got the same answer that they are leaving too, they were claiming that their term has expired. We started market research ourselves – petrol price increased by 25% in 2007, bread – 30%, sugar – 23 %, flat (accommodation) – 30 % , medicine – 40%, education – 20 %, oil – 30 %, fruit – 20 % that means that even without any kind of economic education, if we take an average, the rate is 18 %.

Is this a complete list? It’s Amazing! How much inflation? I do not analyse the year of 2007, but the year of 2008, you think of what will happen, what will be, there are the problems existing on the world market. Why do we put the blame on ourselves when it is a world’s fault? Or, maybe coping with inflation is our obligation?

No, it’s too hard.

I have the way out. The best way out is not to think about this economic category. Its over! Let’s not utter a word on inflation from this day on, let’s take its name away, and let’s not talk about it at all. The problem will be solved this way.

Oh, at last we can calm down. Inflation, inflation is over! We have abolished it and it does not exist any more. Generally, these economists are useless; they are annoying with all their micro- economic indicators. Let us bind a currency to other stable currency, abolish inflation and shortage, count GDP once in a five years, fix prices once and forever and that’s it!

It’s time to free ourselves from the economists and their theories. Now we guess why the Monetary Fund has been left unemployed in Georgia and why the program is closed.

We are saved, I guess...

October, Year 2007

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HOW HAS NEUROSIS BECOME AN ECONOMIC CATEGORY? The History “Great events make me quiet and calm; it is only trifles that irritate my nerves”.

Queen Victoria “The good writing of any age has always been the product of someone’s neurosis”.

William Styron “Money is the best calmative”.

Leonard Louis Levinson And...neurosis as economic category, the indicator of consumption market and the multiplier of inflation. It is great! I already like it – neurosis – the multiplier of inflation! Neurosis has become a serious part of our life. We have become so nervous that every small thing gets on our nerves. But it is not surprising as it turns out the Queen Victoria was getting irritated by trifles. For example, everything like constant traffic-jams, rising costs of living, political tensions and everything in general – globalization, warming climate, loss of our football team, fundamentalists is getting on our nerves and that`s why medicine has become an indivisible part of our lives. If we enumerate advertisements on TV and more over, what is spoken (which medicine is good for which disease) we see that there is almost no disease which is not completely and success- fully cured and as a result everybody would have been recovered and nobody would need any kind of treatment. But everything is neurosis’ fault and it is incurable. Why??? Because its cure is mo- ney!

Oh, and it is not easily obtainable, it is tend to be a chronic deficit.

After energy and oil import the medicine import is on the fifth position by amount and is followed by wheat import amount in - 185 -

Georgia. In 2007 the total imported medicine was worth of $105 million, that is to say average $25 per capita, and if we add the local production we see that our average consumption of medicine is 100 Gel per capita a year. When there is imported wheat worth of $89 million, according to the same calculations we get $22 per capita and totally 75 Gel per capita.

It is quite a worrying and pondering figure, because according to the recent statistical data the number of ill people has increased, everything is the fault of neurosis otehrwise what does this disease have to do in blessed Georgia?! The nature is fantastic – air, water, food, drinks, humour, songs, careless feast and etc. The main thing is lack of money and on its generated basis regenerated atius nervius brams sins.

Is it incomprehensible for you? For me either and because of it do we have the regeneration of neurosis. Do you understand now?

Why? Oh, this is a fact, everything we have is Western: laws, taxes, words, manners, moans (Oh, my god!) and in general everything – prices of electricity, water and any other prices and taxes are Western, neurosis and incomes are local. That’s why diseases are increasing together with medicine expenditures. The last economic researches have shown that medicine expenditures are in serious opposition with the coalition of electricity and gas prices, however, recently prices of food are going to seek shelter in market trade union and to fight by combined forces for the superiority in basket of goods. This is the new phenomena in the prolonged history of basket of goods research. It is said about: That is what we have lived without – neurosis as an economic category and the new met- hod of its research. Thus, I can offer you the Dostoevski`s old ad- vise – when you are tortured by neurotic sleeplessness don`t get angry, these are devils! Pray, cross yourself and say the pray of St. Fiodor - 186 -

Dovstoevski. It is better, because neurosis is very expen- sive and its cure is money! Buying money is impossible you must earn it! And if you can`t earn money, like Victoria –you let these small things get on your nerves and take medicine again, and so on endlessly until money for medicine or soul for life expires.

Perhaps it is the new characteristic of the world economy too and especially in the countries of economic transitions, such as Georgia, the biggest part of population income is spent on medicine and mainly for treatment of neurosis and diseases related to it.

In this way a harmless and invisible neurosis has become an economic category and now the Institute of Neuropathology al- ready works with economic-medicine profile, certainly! It has a dual initial. You want to know the meaning of dual? I`ll tell you later. By the way, there is a cheaper way out too: Do not care!

November, Year 2007

HOW WE DEFEATED LAPLAND IN JOKER I travelled to Lapland this summer to visit Santa Claus. I’m serious this time... It sometimes happens so that I do not cheat at all (lie has lost its price, everyone started cheating, supply exceed- ed demand and, as it usually happens, lie has become priceless, its not worth to take it up). I know it seems hard to believe me, but that’s the way it is. I went on a conference to Finland and didn’t miss an opportunity to meet Santa.

By the way, I didn’t really adore Lapland. It’s an ordinary tundra, located at 1000 meters above the sea level, one can’t state, it is full of fir-trees. Strict, cheerless nature and kind, absolutely unique Santa.

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We had a business meeting regarding New Year preparations.

One may laugh and tell me with jester that only my 4 years old grandson Luka believes all these, although it’s not an easy case and well... if you still don’t believe then ...

Santa and I concluded several agreements and I hoped New Year would be full of surprises, promises and presents in my country.

Although the meeting took place in August!

According to our agreement I contacted Santa as soon as I hearted New Year coming along an icy path. Santa’s response greatly surprised me – he has read a lot about our country through press, watched TV and thought that there is no place for him among the number of Santas that have appeared during the pre-New Year or pre-election period in Georgia. He said, his fairy tails are nothing in comparison to those retold by Georgian Santas.

This is the most interesting New Year that had ever been in Geor- gia – lots of promises and presents. One could think of anything, but I really could never imagine seeing suntanned Shakira on Rik- he in this frost. Who could have thought of increased pensions and salaries, receiving number of New Year presents, employment, promises. It’s a unique New Year and elections are amazing.

It would be a great idea to agree on traditionally holding elections every New Year. We are really very good in it. Moreover, a journalist worried: what if even the half of all these promises are kept, what happens next, inflation will increase. I tried to calm the journalist down: don’t worry, if the promises are kept, inflation will be the least important increased issue.

Well, in my opinion too much of something is bad, even New Year Promises. No, I still intend to phone to Lapland and ask Santa to visit us.

He should see what a real Santa should be like. Its time for - 188 -

Lapland to change its place as well as its name! From now on the world’s New year celebration place is Geoland (Saqland)! That’s it!

We have won Joker and got the first place. You will probably ask me what the category was. It doesn’t matter. We have got the first place, that’s what matters.

Wish you a Happy New Year and a satisfied, peaceful Rat. December, Year 2007

HOW I FLOODED AUSTRALIA, HOW THE VERY FIRST ELECTIONS TOOK PLACE, OR WHY DON JUAN WAS THE FOUNDING FATHER OF MULTISTEP MARKETING An amazing year has started! The rat turned out to be such a strange thing, it turned everything upside down. Its +1°C in Moscow, 0°C in Minsk, Kiev and St. Petersburg, not talking about Helsinki +2 °C and – 10° -15° C in Tbilisi, - 5 °C in Vorkuta, - 25°C in Vale! Where is the South and where is the North, even nature is confused. We were claiming about worming climate. Well, one cannot tell this when looking at Georgia, as the country is freezing.

Where does a climate meridian cross Economics? – You might ask. The answer will be Greenwich and Tbilisi. All types of constructions are stopped and transportation is hindered. Economic growth has evidently decreased in January. What I really think is that a rat hasn’t come out of its burrow yet; there is year of the Pig thus far. We hope rat will come in February and will put everything in their right places. The South will be the South and the North will be the North. Economics, Business and Education will be taken care of.

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Snowy winter is followed by thoughts, endless thoughts! One sits near a fireplace while it’s snowing outside; one sits and thinks ab- out thousands of things, of compass, climate and a country that are all entangled. A human being was created for thinking; I watch TV, ‘A new TV’ – balanced one. One sees that assets and liabilities as well as balance have moved to media and we all should be balan- ced and adequate. The other day one of the officials of the Parlia- ment stated on TV – ‘the issue is quite sensitive’, did you hear that? I couldn’t believe it! He actually used this word and TV just repe- ated it. Do you think a person who doesn’t speak English may not watch Georgian TV channels? Or hasn’t anyone advised that politi- cian, who by the way is not really fluent in English, that the word is not good and fashionable?

‘Teenagers are quite creative and sensitive and it’s obvious that they looked with a nice image on a party‘- this is what I hared through second famous channel the very next day! Well. . . lots of things are mixed up this year! Did you get anything? Did you find a single Georgian word there? Well, it’s ok. I simply turned TV off, it was impossible to watch it. One of the TV channels (I’ll tell you a secret, it was ‘MZE’), a small girl’s motion of speech apparatus (lips) made me think she was going to force her way through a screen.

She was angrily shouting – Flood in Australia – as though I have left the tap open and flooded my neighbours downstairs, Aus- tralians. This ‘new’ journalist tries to imitate Inga Grigolia, still I wasn’t able to find out who the sensitive politician tried to imitate. Well, probably Americans; the one with ridiculously moving lips at least plumped them. She started banging with her plumped lips at different places: floor, our years and sometimes on ‘Time’.

Therefore lip plumping is not enough to be Inga Grigolia... Well, as I was angry, I turned on radio and – RJ, a girl speaks ab- out her - 190 -

new work with the music producer. A young producer – ‘Actually this clip became a sound and leading’. I listened with the greatest attention. Not a single Megrelian word in the above seve- ral words!!!!!! What is going on? What a language? Where have Georgia and identity gone? Is this a language? Is this a country?

I nearly had a heart attack, so I decided to read some newly published magazine (I need to do something in this freeze, its freeze’s fault; otherwise, I would not do it). ‘Journal’ has an interesting and distinguished title ‘Business Express’. It’s only a third edition and I came across an amazing ‘headline’ (Do you like it? Ha-ha-ha) ‘A-Z of Business, I am tough. Bless its creator; I had a lot of fun. Business ‘graduate’ problems are of great importance in the world (in case you don’t follow ask me later); according to the latest data 70 % of MA is MBA. Bologna process is actively on: curriculums to lead our students, who to assign as their tutors, what to offer in their syllabus, which are the better modules to result in market adequate BAs and MAs. We need innovations, dear Sirs; during eighties and nineties whole Western management had been thorou- ghly seeking and introducing these innovations, billions had been spent on searching optimal business management versions and all in vain.

The Western business loses its positions; Asia is on the offensive with its kaizen. Imagine how difficult it is to teach business –Michael Dell has not graduated collage, Bill Gates hasn’t gra- duated Harvard, neither Oracle and Google creators done a lot for learning business and have no MBA certificates; Anyway, these illiterate people are Business Management giants. Let me ask you if you have ever seen a chemist without special education, a math- ematician, a linguist or a professor of history. It is easy to notice that business is the only sphere where you may become a giant without corresponding business education.

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This is the way business is. You will never know where the South and the North is. It is all confusing, still most of people study busi- ness, everybody seeks the formula of making money and all lead- ing business textbooks (except charlatans) begins with it. In case you look for a success and money formula, it is not a book for you! What does this naked and transparent truth has to do with journal ‘Business Express’? The problem was easily solved there, besides it was solved greatly! Really cool!

Creative attitude was found towards this sensitive problem. I would definitely take Marketing and business terms on pg 12 as a New Year joke, but there was a promise in Leads that I would be assisted whether I am ready to start business or not and what type of business should I start, where to get money etc; the beginning covers an intention to define term Marketing, but this is not inter- esting! MLM (multilevel marketing) definition seemed really interesting – ‘You flirt with a beautiful woman, then with her elder sister, then with her nice aunt etc, - this is what a multi-level mar- keting is’. Let me tell you dear Sirs that this is lechery, and it has nothing to do with marketing. By the way, it is a paraphrase of Don Juan story and accordingly we may state that Don Juan was the greatest economist and a researcher, as well as a founding father of multi-level marketing.

Definitions of economic terms are followed then (Paata Gugushvili would turn in his grave). ‘you see a beautiful lady at the party, you come up to her and say: I have a cool friend, who would love to get acquainted with you and I am perfectly sure that you will enjoy meeting him a lot- this is a trade representation’ – reads the article.

This is a panderage my dear!

And finally, I would like to give you another definition form Mr. George Lortkipanidze’s work (New School of business) ‘You go to - 192 -

a party; you are a handsome guy and feel quite self-confident. You are sure you can attract attention of the most beautiful woman.

Although, each lady is accompanied by her gentleman and your desire to spend an evening with a nice lady remains unfulfilled – this is market economy’. Well, one can’t say anything! This is the easiest way of teaching business, world economics and graduate problems.

I just forgot about the headline, and I’ll tell you – in the year of the rat everything is confusing: the North and the South; warmth and cold, the Universe has changed and even democracy and elections have undergone changes!

Though, it always used to be like that, even when the very first elections took place: Adam was told to choose a wife when Eva was taken to him.

Tbilisi, - 10°C, Snow January, Year 2008

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MUNICIPAL SERVICE OF CLEANING AND BUSINESS CLEANING, OR CLEANING BUSINESS We have left snow and socialism behind long ago. Serfdom is abolished (well, at any rate it is said so), we have taken a deep breath of air full of free market oxygen (although it depends on oxygen as well) and got down to building a new country. Where the jackal was wailing, we have rooted out a tea plantation. So, there is neither jackal nor tea. Pure European penalty system and utility or administrative tariffs, transitional economy and socialistic approaches – this is the mixture we have got as a result. In general, we have business, private property and free market. Oh! I’ve recited it as a Marx manifest! biznesi (business is Georgian)! Sounds well!

The same can not be said about ‘bazari’ (market in Georgian language)! We don’t need anything that is related to ‘bazari’(Georgian slang – means talking) and discussion, that’s it! Besides, it pronounces roughly. The word reminds me of piglets and cheese – Sulguni and Satsivi spices at a bazari (means fair in Georgian). I don’t want to hear about a Georgian word ‘Bazari’, English version - Market sounds far better. It is more convincing. So, we have sown market economy and democracy on a soil saturated by socialist mentality.

Anyway, it didn’t turn out to be free! Why? I don’t know. We say we need freedom, but do not act... and!

Let’s take our Administration code or tariffs as an example and everything will be clear: an individual pays 1.4 GEL for water, legal person – 4.8 GEL per 1 kb/m water. But what do you think, what is the amount of water the company needs? A lot if it is a large con- sumer. But if otherwise, we could at least leave equal. One more national characteristics of business – it is mostly discriminated in Tbilisi. They don’t have similar tariffs in Poti and Kutaisi.

Let’s take another example: gas supply – population pays 210 USD - 194 -

and companies pay 360 USD. The same is about electricity: those who use more - the companies, have to pay more. Strange, it will seem to you that these blessed people do not want to sell and earn more. Now take a look at fines in case the seal of your counter is out of order - the one that is installed outside and may be damaged by any neighbouring mischievous child. No matter an individual (physical person) has stolen a gas or not he/she is fined with 600 Gel. A company is fined with 5000 Gel. It may take a company a whole year to get this amount and its blame may not be confirmed just because it is a legal person – representative of business. Experienced lobbyists at Mayor’s office have added to it fines related to cleaning. Oh, you should have seen that! Kekelidze- Zhvania Street has been full of dust, garbage and mud for a half century. Millions of letters have been sent to the Mayors office. The street is named after a mother of previous mayor – Mrs. Nina Jhvania. Anyway, no rescue, neither then, nor now. In spring when it is raining the place is so flooded that it will remind you of Amazon delta. The following famous people living there: State ministers (Gagoshidze) and MP (Kakha Giuashvili) may confirm that it is a perfect place for constructing electric stations on hydro flows as well as on garbage.

What a pity, what a waste of energy! Municipal Service of Cleaning can not remember this street! Actually, it’s not exactly so. It really depends on the type of cleaning. The other day, in the beginning of November one of our neighbours have neatly collected 7 packs of garbage and put them in the corner of the street. Then he called to a service of cleaning to take it away. They sent their inspector the very next day instead of taking garbage away. They even wrote a minute: how did you dare to put these sacks of garbage in the tidy Kekelidze Street and you didn’t even call. At the same time they warned neighbours and made them sign a paper that implied taking - 195 -

the garbage very next day. They didn’t even utter a word on minute, complain or article 52. So, there was a notice from a court after three months infor- ming on a debt. It said that there were some sacks of garbage put in a street three months ago. The most amazing part of the story is that the fine was delivered to a neighbour, not to the owner of sacks with the notice: Without right to appeal. You have to walk down Kekelidze - Zhvania streets with magnifying glass to find the above mentioned sacks. Dogs and special equipment were pro- bably hired by those ‘garbages’ to find that garbage.

And so, they cleaned 1000 GEL out of the pocket of the organization. If it was an individual they would have demanded 200 GEL from him/her. Upper neighbours constantly throw garbage in this street and none of them has been fined yet. You know why? Probably because only business is chased and cleaned in this country.

Therefore one more word should be added to the following title: Municipal Service of Cleaning - Business. It reminds me of an old joke: in a compartment at a socialism time a General, passenger tells to the other passenger (it’s a real joke, otherwise why was the general in a compartment): take this bag away form the table. The other responded: no, I will not take it. The angry general threw the bag out of a window. The other passenger responded with a smile on his face: ‘Eta ne moi chemodan’ (It is not my suitcase).

Socialism does not leave; it remains in jokes, in business and of course cleaning. The main content is that we hate business like a stepmother hates her stepchildren. There is a refined, exquisite, fine stepmother with a very long tongue stating that she adores her stepchildren. What she really would like to see, is their dying out.

The same is true about our Service of Cleaning and Administrative Code – they say they pray for business (it fills their budget) but they discriminate and sap its development.

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Free market economy is strange for us. A businessman is still a bourgeois. I am sure lots of officials read Marx manifest and work by the great leader ‘Socialism and Property’ at night thinking.

Wow, what a great people. They enjoy it a lot.

They have texts prepared by neat, sexy press service instead of coffee in the morning. The text is about market economy, support of free entrepreneurship development and of course on cleaning – taxes on the one hand and fines, as well as keeping lawyers and notices on the other hand.

We have only taken number of fines from Europe, that it. Nothing else. Anyway, we have taken business discrimination from socialism – ‘Tsekhaviks’. Just confess, maybe it is even better. This word would have been more appropriate instead of word business.

That’s what they are probably thinking of while ‘Cleaning’.

February, Year 2008

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BADRI IN HISTORICAL HOMELAND OF THE TURKISH I wasn’t so delighted to see spring coming with its glory and boom, as to see January and February statistical data on foreign trade. At last, Russia is not our major foreign trade partner. It is even excluded from the top ten export list. To put it in my students’ words – we kicked it off. Excluded just like Top Muller. By the way, import is dying too, it’s temporarily on 7th or 8th position.

Gas from Azerbaijan that cost so expensive to Tbilisi residents with the greatest help of ‘KazTransGaz’ (What was that!? What a winter. ‘KazTransGaz’ increased prices on gas three or four times more.

Even David Copperfield would have envied this trick – the company took away lots on money from each Tbilisi residents using its low quality gas and no one opposed. So what?) We got rid of this huge Russian market after all and moved to Turkey. It occupies the first position at historical pedestal. We are directed to Turkey in foreign trade. Well, we are. As for Turkey, it is not directed to us at all (perhaps the issue of orientation does not really matter to the modern world at all). Let’s remember the fact of singing free trade agreement when our previous Minister of Economics informed with the voice of Didgori traveler – That’s it. Our good will flow to Turkey and taxes will not be imposed on us. Well, it turned out the agreement with Turkey doesn’t actually work yet. Scandal is breaking. This type of agreement doesn’t seem convenient for Turkey. The issue is quite troublesome and there is no light at the end of tunnel. Now let’s take a look at our and our major partner’s trade balance – during two months of 2008 Turkey imported goods of USD 26292,6 thousands from Georgia, including : Wastes and scrap metal – 13 millions; Wastes and aluminium scrap – 2 millions; Wastes and copper scrap – 1 million; woods etc. It mainly takes scrap. Its Georgia’s cleaner. Neighbouring Turkey - 198 -

cleans this country. On the one hand, there is nothing to quarrel about. Although on the other hand it brings serious garbage back to Georgia. Namely, import from Turkey: paper, metal construction, family chemicals. It means that turkey takes materials, processes it and gives back with 5 times higher prices. This is not the right way of country’s development. Free trade agreement will obviously not work this way. We have put an end to Russia, although this kind of relation of the Turkish to us, or our relation to Turkey will put an end to us. Import amounted to USD 882 in January and February in Georgia. It is about GEL 300 million due to this year’s exchange rate. Last year indicator (663.3*1.82) of the same period of time amounted to 1 207 billion. Growth in comparison with the previous year is 100 million GEL, it means 9%, not 33%. The same is with export. Last year, in the same period it increased form 250 millions to 288 millions with the help of ores, copper ore, ferroalloy and scrap. Excluding Russia from the list and putting Turkey instead is quite a painful issue. Turkey should have signed the Open Door Policy agreement with us instead of Free Trade Relations. But they don’t understand Georgian attitude to neighbourhood and push to Turkish- European attitude, when you should let it have all (make compromises) and they let you have only some things.

Besides, please, take into consideration that if GEL exchange rate would have equalled last year’s level, exporters would have gained GEL 100 millions more from export revenues, but now they suffer losses and Turkish have gained about 100 million GEL. Do you really understand it? No, you don’t. Mr. Badri (one of the honourable Georgians) entered Middle Asian market – Turkmenistan and Kyrg- yzstan, with Georgian tea (I don’t want to discuss problems of Georgian tea now. I have heart troubles. Besides, its spring, a dif- ficult and changeable season and I dot want to have high blood pressure). It’s a fact that Bardi has lost Gel 254 000 per each mil- lion USD for exported goods to Middle Asian market. It’s also - 199 -

a fact that he doesn’t know what to pay to peasants in Guria. As he states, he doesn’t care about his own profit any more. Turkish tea ‘Mariam’ has flooded Georgian market. It has long had an advan- tageous supporting regime and throws Georgian product from mar- ket with its dumping prices. Still they don’t sign quite well cut agreement on free trade. Where does this strange type of friendship and neighbourhood come from? Well, it’s their type of friendship!

As for our type, actually it does not exist! I couldn’t imagine that Turkish would oppress us after centuries. I didn’t expect it from them. Although, I guess, one should blame not them but us! Caspian Sea from one side and Black Sea from the other side. We have a wrong foreign trade policy. We have taken off all our clothes and meet visitors naked – come, dear sirs, and enjoy yourselves! As for them, they don’t even show their face and walk on the world market with yashmak. Can you give me the name of this new approach in economic theory? Can some scientific economist write to me or to Badri about his tea export and ‘Mariam’ tea that has pushed him away from here, lead him to Avitsena country, to Bukhara and Samarkand deserts. He tried to seek his fortune there. But No! We sent GEL exchange rate after him, we made ‘Mariam’ tea so happy.

The same exchange rate enables to drink Turkish garbage nearly for free and makes your health and Badri’s nerves pay a fatal price.

No, dear sirs. I suppose even Adam Smith would find it extremely difficult to understand this foreign trade system. Therefore, Badri moved to Khataeti. Nestan has changed to ‘Mariam’ and feels free and healthy here.

March, Year 2008

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THE MEDICI EFFECT AND GEL FUTURE EXCHANGE RATE THIS IS A STORY OF SHAKIRA’S SONGS AND SHREK’S SMILE “Traditional borders between politics, culture, technologies, finances, national securities and ecology are disappearing today ever more” Thomas Friedman - The Lexus and the olive Tree On this smooth and soft, velvety spring evening I was sitting at the editorial office by myself and was driving my thought away.

I was really worried about the fact, that whatever happens in the world, from political, as well as from economic point of view, neither correspond to Keynes-Fisher- Friedman- Louise schemes, nor to Bjezinsky political predictions. We get something new and different. It’s clear that something definitely new is forming. Metamorphose era has began.

Everything is changing in the world, reasons and outcomes are interconnected; everything takes place on the boundary, on cross roads. Nothing is isolated and put separately. Stereotypes, approaches as well as rules are breaking down, borderlines are disappearing and if we do not analyze everything on boundaries and cross roads, we’ll not be able to get the idea of an event. Yes, I have mixed it up too much! DNA structure and my grandson’s locks can’t be so tangled. But the night, when I was racking my brain and driving thoughts unmercifully like Alazani Valley breeze to the yards of cognition, I came across a strange book, Harvard Business School Press edition, The Medici Effect by Frans Johansson. It turned out that Frans and I think alike – traditional approaches are breaking down, values are created only at cutting areas. Existence of cross road is caused by the following three major factors: 1. Migration, 2. bringing sciences together; 3. drastic development of computers and technique. According to Frans, it is a miracle when scien- 201 -

tists that had separated several years before and specialization took place, now are uniting. For example, famous scientific magazine Smithsonian published article on company Nexia’s biotechnological operations. These techno- logies transplanted silkworm’s gene that was responsible for production of this fibre, into goat and thus goat would give the milk of which the silk could be weaved. Goat’s silk was demon-strated to be stronger than steel and more elastic than hair thread. It’s used in thousands of spheres. Do you think its fantasy? Well, yes, sir, but it’s a fact. After the project was presented, the com- pany’s shares rates increased several times. The same can be said about Shakira. She is Columbian, although her father comes from Lebanon and is a very good musician. He has interbred Arabian tunes to those of Latin American, then added nice buttocks to Shakira. As a result we have got a super girl who has travelled around the world in 14 months and earned millions. With her mixed pop-rock she has driven the whole world crazy. This bru- nette Libyan is thought to be Columbian and generally, American. This hybrid, being the result of a migration, gave a new sound and a new style of singing to the world. There was a time when we liked Vinnie Pooh. Later the series of cartoon was sold across the ocean and turned into Vinnie. It seemed quite lovely to me when I was a child. But now children are bored with it. They find the ugliest Shrek to be the loveliest character and Shakira – to be the blond Goddess (sorry Shrek, don’t be mad at me. I talk about you like a politician, because this is what business requires now. You know I secretly like you). Everything has mixed up and changed. The same happens in economics. The thing that was forbidden yesterday is allowed today. Moreover, it is necessary. We don’t want to manipulate with these old doctrines.

Let us take an example: according to every old theory, GEL ex- 202 -

change rate is conditioned by economic, political, human, psychological and elemental circumstances. All currency exchange rates share the common formula. Even my laziest student Nozadze is well aware of it. According to these calculations, the prime factors are of economic character. Economic growth indicators are the leading and problematic in this case. The same is true on export volume, employment and inflation. However, GEL is stable. Do you think economists believe if you would have told them some time ago that emigrants keep Georgia’s balance of payments? They wouldn’t!

They would start racking brains. Well, nowadays Zezva and Mzia send fixed 866 millions (this is an official data; unof- ficially it may be even double) working on fruits and vegetables in Vorkuta. Or Ia, cleaning a house in Athens in the morning and working in apple plantations in the evening. Everything is their fault. They send USDs out of there and even do not care. National Bank together with the stock exchange has to work hard on their sterilization and exchange. So, there is no demand on USD. Every- one wants GEL. Zezva’s and Ia’s relatives take control over the money, buy apartments and cause the price increase. This is why inflation is coming up to us in secret. It did not take place before. As economics discussed it as a demographical problem and finan- cial science did not take all the above said into consideration. I repeat the Medici Effect lies in the following: you should be aware of everything, like Da Vinci. You should control and monitor entirely everything...

Appendix: I wouldn’t like to hide the following: Certain ‘serious’ attempts were made in Georgian printed media to explain GEL stability and balance negative microeconomic indicators’ influence on GEL exchange rate. For example, the article printed in ‘24 Hours’ newspaper (April 2007, #93 edition, business part) explains everything - 203 -

quite simply and blames those poor working migrants for everything. They have used a formula for internal monetary flow in currency circulation and somehow, for unknown reasons made huge mistakes (well, what can be done about it, it happens quite often while making deep economic analysis. 24 Hours make deep economic analysis quite ‘often’!?). Investment of USD 1, 65 billon, export of USD 0,5 billion, Auto export indicator grown with USD 0,25 billion, grants and subsidiaries of USD 0,5 billion, secret investments when agreement formula while purchasing and selling lands of property amounts to USD 1 million in transaction and 2 millions in cash – all the above mentioned missed while drawing up and calculating balance of payments (this is what you were actually doing, darling however, you haven’t used this term). You see what a big mistake is made? This new researcher took advice of some genius and used a simple and classical formula: MV= PT M – Stock of money V - Velocity of monetary unit turnover P – Prices on goods and services T - Volume of market transaction The same calculations applied to sugar (however, my darling, 1 Kg. of sugar costs 1, 3 GEL and its annual consumption is 180 000 tones) that overcoming trade deficit is possible by means of money circulation. Well, if the money circulates while import as well, it turns out that we don’t have any deficit. Maybe, everything is possible. Especially now when all borders have disappeared. I like this courage in researches. Look, how well has the formula been drawn up – V=PT/m – or real and virtual hen. Do you remember that very scientific joke? Our friend’s Tedo Zhorzholiani’s son, Nika told his father in Tskaltubo while sitting at Easter table: Daddy, do you want me to prove you that there are two cooked hens on the table?

Tedo did not resist and said: yes, son, maybe. But I’m going to eat - 204 -

this, real one. You can help yourself with the one you prove... Nika was left hungry. Let’s be more optimistic, not put the entire fault on working migrants and USD 866 millions sent by them. The Medici effect and discovered synthesis are to blame. If you, my young researcher, have discussed this classical formula on the boundary and crossroads of sciences, everything would have been just fine. Maybe you could have even discovered our balance of payment and GEL exchange rate peculiarities (I emphasize GEL exchange rate).

If you prefer the easier way of knowing exchange rate, you can go to Nona at remains of Saburtalo market to buy Sulguni (cheese) for 13 Laris and hen for 20 Laris. There you’ll see!

You still don’t believe me??! I’ll provide example of Frans Johansson again. George Cowen, great American scientist, founded private institute in Mexico, Santa Fe where they apply mathematical methods while researching. Biologists together with economists and stock exchange market analytics carried out a research there to understand stock exchange brokers behaviour while speculation agreement by means of mathematical methods. They have come to a conclusion that their behaviour as well as evolution of financial strategies from mathematical point of view greatly reminded the formula by means of which biologists described ‘predator – prey’ system population. One can get crazy!!! Discussing theoretical postulates makes no sense. Therefore, according to old postulates GEL exchange rate against worn out, exhausted USD that is really tired of diets, should be 1-22. Let’s not talk about Euro rate – 1-3.1. But no! These new crossroads and new scientific approaches Lari is becoming more and more stable. This is the world sensation.

Defeating USD is not a new issue is economic theory, although such a great victory over Euro and winning the second score is really too much.

You may ask: what do Shakira and the Medici effects have to do with all these? Well, even we don’t know the answer to your - 205 -

ques- tion yet. We just suppose. Since the science, including economic science has completed its job and now everything is done on the boundary of sciences by means of synthesis, we have no idea on what’s going with GEL and therefore we are not able to explain it using traditional currency rate method. Moreover, even though inflation caused us, as well as NBG, troubles, they have increased registration percentage to 10. It happens while the whole world’s central banks decrease rates to save economics from recession and support production growth.

Our National Bank does not worry about production growth. It bravely increases interests, enters the market like a matador and sells GEL 200 000 each week. On the other hand, market volume is 4.5 billions. Well, what really matters is that it sells and percentage as well.

It is not easy to understand all this. Accordingly, we need to form a special institution on the crossroads of sciences and include anatomy in it. Microbiology and country studies would be a nice idea too. It would help us to understand peculiarities of Lari’s such strange behaviour. It should be done as soon as possible or in June and in August GEL may go back to its usual clinical situation. 2.2 exchange rates will become a subject of a dream. Since, of course, Euro-obligations do not introduce asymmetrical changes in accordance with fractal geometry and do not leave GEL again on a high pedestal.

The world and especially science has changed a lot. After joining finances and biology with mathematics, the border line has disap- peared. I agree with Thomas L. Friedman. Do you?

April,Year 2008

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“IN THE LONG TERM WE ARE ALL DEAD”- JOHN MAYNARD KEYNES You can tell me that I am not serious and I’m upstart. Well, all right, that may be true, but researches have proved that language in Georgia changes into English-Georgian- Phoenician - financial hybrid. Besides, English enters spoken Georgian by means of Ger- und forms. You want a proof? You can have the latest examples applied in Georgian politics and economics: Targeting - to make a thing or group of things a target, to select it or them to be acted upon Target - Objective, goal.

Target data - figures, indicators, and data.

Target Indicator - Data which provide information about or predict the overall health of the economy or the financial markets; and budgeting.

Well, I can understand how sensitive and creative we are towards all positive and ‘foreigner’ fashion has nothing to do with that but inflation [Ta: geit] is a very nice Georgian word, economic cate- gory and term and probably Georgian sounds better. Although we should take into consideration that: ‘Since father take to Petersburg for study, you has forget Georgian’.

That is why budgeting and banking sounds better. The problem is that scientists have not come to a conclusion: which one is better: [Ta ( r ) geiting] or [Ta ( r ) geiting]. According to modern ling- uists, T – t (Georgian T) with a direct pronounce does not exist in English. Neither does T. Therefore, these new scientist creators hope to invent new letter in Georgian to settle this equivalence.

Well, before we do that, you can use both. As for ing it still remains vague and we can’t use it yet. Besides, we have not swal- lowed this ‘schwa’ yet and we can not pronounce English R in Georgian. Oh, - 207 -

this ‘schwa’! That is why Americans and the Eng- lish get angry – pronounce targeting correctly and do not cross the limit in relation to R. We can freely use inflation targeting or vice versa. Anyway, in human old Georgian it means planned upper level or upper level of goods prices growth dynamics. You can say that rising prices on goods has no limits. Well it may be a bit dif- ficult to define what is going on from the point of scientific and economic view. But if we take conditional limits of 14% annual, it will be out lightening. Well, sometimes inflation may go forward. So what? What really matters is a targeting process. Georgian eco- nomic idea got confused. It struggles against the world problems and this inflation targeting suffers it. Besides, what is going on in the world economic and political speech – thousands of new words come into use during election period, and Georgian economic science is particularly rich from this point of view (speech instead of action).

Time, when we’ll learn General Georgian and economic Georgian is near. Economic Georgian is something intermediary between American English and Georgian Iberian languages. Scientists hope that the language will soon have number of followers unlike inflation. Targeting itself is a perfect thing. Target, motivation of movement is eternal aspiration towards something better. Hegel’s absolute and Ilia’s eternal movement. But this inflation is not good!

We do not like it- it is like a thief, a professional thief, invisible one that takes our money and soul out of our pockets and we can not see it. What is the name of a place, where people live? – ‘Human society’. Yes, so there where a human society is, inflation exists too. The great American said: two things are inevitable – taxes and death.

No, inflation is inevitable too. Therefore three things turn out to be inevitable – inflation, taxes and death...

According to Keynes inflation and taxes are inevitable in short - 208 -

run. As John Maynard Keynes said ‘In the long term we are all dead.’ Target will stay immortal and new Georgian language is a shining bomb together with inflation target.

The research will not spot here, it will continue if of course by that time at least one Georgian word remains in economics and business. This is a question! The way of pronunciation targeting: either Georgian version or an international one does not really matter. Use whatever in a short run. As for it, itself rapes everyone and everything it meets on its way, and call it whatever you want to.

Would anything happen if we used merging indicator or vice versa?

May, Year 2008

ANNIVERSARY OF THE SUN, THE GREATEST LOGISTIC TASK OF HUMANITY AND THE GEORGIANS’ ROLE IN BURYING THE SUN OR WHY GEORGIA WILL NOT BE RUSSIA’S NEIGHBOUR Our Sun is a hero of an anniversary this year; it is going to turn 4.59 billion years. 4.60 billions, and in addition, according to astronomers, it will live 4-5 billion years more. Well, it means that the sun is of middle aged. The Sun is about halfway through its main-sequence evolution. It’s amazing, astronomers have even found a heir – quite a perspective and promising star - V 838 Monocerotis, that is located by the end of our galaxy, on a bridge and does not shine really brightly, its rays reaches us only after two years. However astronomers forecast its progressive growth and consider it to be an indisputable heir. When after 4 billion years the sun turns into a red planet, its volume will increase hundred times, and cover temperature will decrease to 3000 degrees. As a result it - 209 -

will be substituted by its heir.

Well, before that, the sun is a hero of an anniversary and waits to celebrate the event. Coming story of the sun and the earth is even more romantic. According to the scenario worked out by resear- chers, the sun and the earth will die together, like Romeo and Juliet, as due to the increase of the sun’s volume, it will come nearer to the earth and even the remaining temperature will be enought to vanish everything on the earth. Every living thing will disappear and even the earth may dispel – in four billion years the earth will disappear together with the sun.

However, Stephen Hawking, the greatest physicist of the world doesn’t really believe in this romantic story. He believes, the time to colonize other planets has come – it is the only way of saving mankind. The universe processes will turn this place unfit for living and it will die before something happens to the sun.

Therefore we should not wait for romanticism. The earth is not devoted to the sun and will not support it on its most difficult stage of existence. It seems that the earth is a bit tired; probably it doesn’t want to be a constant partner of the sun. What if it wants to turn into a dust and join the galaxy? It may even appear in another galaxy and start a new life while the sun will have an opportunity to care about other planet and give warmth to it.

Moreover, some physicists believe that the sun is enormously rich with minerals and fossils and contains amazing Klondike – gold, iron, nickel, etc. we used to find in any encyclopaedia that the sun is made up of helium and hydrogen, gas. It generates its energy by nuclear fusion of hydrogen nuclei into helium (atomic explosions turn out to be quite useful and pleasant. While watching the sunrise one would have never thought that all these are explosions).

- 210 -

In 1975 Oliver Manuel proved with his researches that the above said is not true. Outer planets consist mostly of hydrogen, helium and other light elements, and the inner planets are made of heavier elements like iron, sulphur and silicon, Manuel says. He has also proved that hydrocarbons and maybe even distillates will be created by means of light isotopes. Therefore, inexhaustible resources for human usage will appear.

The task now is to choose the planet for colonization; it should have a special location: not too far from sun, so that fossils are not expensive for transportation and not too near, so that they are not burnt by the sun. Besides, a necessary requirement is that V838 is at convenient distance from newly born sun, so that we are not disturbed by its heat.

Mankind faces the greatest logistic task to solve and we, Georgians have to contribute in this amazing distribution. Maybe we should mark our territory on new planet, full of minerals and wealth; perhaps we’ll not be located between two seas and right under Russia. Let’s choose our spot, the bigger one, far from Russia and choose our neighbours as well: Switzerland, Nether- lands or New Zealand. Maybe in about 4 billion years will live in peace with our new neighbours on a new planet. Isn’t it cool? Great. You’ll not sleep tonight while thinking of it.

My intriguer opponent may ask why I thought of it now.

I thought about it because the older the sun is, the hotter it is!!!

When it was just a baby, an infant, or when it when to school, it generated only 70% of shine, compared to present. It will shine 30% more in the future. So, it’s the sun who is to blame for global warming, not ecology. The sun heats and burns more and more every year. It’s the age, old age that is to blame, not ecology (I have tried it myself in June). So, each birthday of the sun costs more - 211 -

and more expensive to us. Things will remain the same during the coming 4 billion years.

What we shall do before that, you may ask. We have to solve the hardest logistic issue of humanity before – we should choose the planet for colonization and mark the territory on the planet. Is there anything more important to worry about than the sun? You will enjoy it and the country will calm down. You’ll not trouble yourself on thinking about some mortal problems and start discussing cosmic ideas.

Don’t lose time. We’ll have to celebrate the sun’s anniversary.

It passes away in about 4 billion years and the same may happen to the earth. So, we have to arrange all these issues. Let’s start thinking and acting about it from tomorrow. We will enjoy it a lot!

What a pity. The sun is burning...

June, Year 2008

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DID HUMANS EVOLVE FORM MONKEYS’ ANCESTOR OR VICE VERSA? I never think about the future.’

Albert Einstein ‘There is no sin except stupidity.’

Oscar Wilde I have been wondering about the question since childhood – have we really evolved from monkeys, or what was the greatest sin on earth? The very first book that I came across after ‘Uncle Tom’s Cabin’ and Gulliver’s travel was ‘Evolution’ by Charles Darwin (green cover appealed to me). To tell you the truth, it seemed really complicated to me and I found it rather difficult to read. Probably that is why I remember it so bitterly. Yet the ques- tion – did we really evaluate from monkeys - constantly worried me. Why are we so cynical, so cruel towards our generation? We are ready to sacrifice humanity for business and money. Do we have it from monkeys? On the other hand a monkey directly says what it wants, it’s honest and straightforward. We have conscious- ness, we think of democracy, market economy, free economy, and competition on market, freedom and thousands of other nonsense. However, the world economy has never ever been as undemocratic and depended before. Everything is regulated by them – G8. Prob- ably this cheat is for low developed economies, so that they inc- rease resources and offer their rules of game to developing coun- tries on behalf of democracy and human rights. Everything be- longs to strategic interests and if you are not included in it, then you have problems. Did we really get this kind of thing from mon- key??? I have made up my mind to visit the author of the idea- Darwin in this hot month of July in Westminster Abbey. Therefore, I asked him to answer several questions. He preferred to keep sil- ence – leave - 213 -

me alone, I changed my mind, it was just a joke – he said. Go and ask gorilla, see how noble it is. So, I moved to Lon- don zoo. Gorilla was lying in a shadow, it kept it shaggy hands under its head (its hand was covered by hair, just like Alazani Valley if covered by forest). Gorilla was staring at cloudy London sky with its amazing sad eyes. Gorilla was thinking, probably about bright future of human beings, protecting labour masses and leading English nobility being forgotten by Gordon Brown administration.

It looked like a human being – with its hands, legs, body, face, sexual lips and particularly attractive back. I had never seen gorilla before and never thought it would resemble a human being so much. The fact does not even require Darwin and theories – it is just a copy. All this reminded me of an old joke: USSR era, perestroika, era of transition began. Lion arranged a meeting in a forest (or in London zoo, it does not matter) and announced to animals: we need to be transmitted; it is a government’s request, as there is a perestroika. Everyone agreed except for a monkey. Why are you against? - asked the lion. If I change, I’ll turn into a human being.

And when I become a human, I need to keep my family. It means that I need to act like a monkey and turn back into a monkey. So what’s the sense? – answered a monkey.

Therefore a human being is a monkey that began to act like a monkey. That’s right! Gorilla was a real copy of a human being, although it seemed to be calmer, honest, more considerate towards its friends and more knightly. Well, I did not doubt about anything.

But since I was already there, I made up my mind to ask – where did we humans evaluate from? It gazed at me with a gloomy sight (it seemed to be worried about human’s behaviour and future).

The look was hypnotizing; it moved me to the Mesozoic era for an instant and I imagined gorilla as an owner of the universe. As - 214 -

it was late in answering, I decided to offer it a bribe (People like it very much, although they call it an interest: strategic or private) and threw a banana to it. Gorilla awkwardly threw it back to me as though it was telling – I am not a beggar. Take it to the guys round Gmirta Moedani (square in Tbilisi) in zoo, they are starving to death. I eat pudding and Caesar Salad here, you idiot. I can’t have a sober look at you, humans, so I drink 2 bottles of whisky every day. As I reminded the question it pointed with its dark black eyes - leave me alone, go away from here. We look like each other cynically, but as for internal features . . . ‘look at our noble society’ it said and pointed to its friend lying nearby, that never cared about future and never knew that a stupidity is the greatest sin in the world. ‘No, that doesn’t seem to be truth’, said gorilla, it looks like a Darwin’s silly story... right over here; a very clever man lies in his tomb. He lived right in that period of time.

You can hardly believe it, but gorilla advised to go and ask it to Marx. So, I moved up, round Swedish cottages and visited Mr. Marx in a beautiful garden asking – what did you want from us? Why did you kept on speaking about communism and labour theory of values?

He laughed a lot when he found out where I was from – ‘I was constantly stating it is forbidden to adjust the system to this crazy country’, he said- ‘however nobody believed me. These mad men came and attached it to you – Lenin and German security service.

So go and ask him. As for Darwin, we all thought alike by that time.

Although as time passes monkey becomes more and more noble.

You destroy everything human – neither theory can survive, nor time. Today Malthus’ population theory is most active. You have a potential to increase rapidly and life becomes harder. As for value, humans create supply and demand again, just as they used to do - 215 -

it before. You have deleted me from a list, but I am next to Adam Smith and David Ricardo in London. Don’t blame me for the fact that you don not like Economics and theory’.

We blame you? – I asked being astonished – you have destroyed us with your theories so that even today lots of Georgian economist and politicians mean Marxism while talking about market economy together with state monopolization over free competitive environment and state regulation of socialism. So, who do you suggest to blame for this? You are lying here, in the centre of London and enjoy yourself in the capital of the world capitalism.

You should better ask us?! – said I desperately.

What’s the matter? - Asked Marx nervously. I told him everything!!!... and he turned over in his grave.

So I left, I had no other way out... I was walking down a street.

It was a quiet summer evening in London and I was still thinking by myself – do you think humans evolved form monkey’s ancestor or vice versa?

And which is the greatest sin on the earth? Emzar Jgerenaia London, July, Year 2008

MONETARISM IS DEAD, KEYNES HAS RISEN AND HE IS WITH US! THE WAY OUT OF CRISIS IS ALREADY FOUND – IT GOES ACROSS THE BRIDGE I gave all these things a serious title to show you that the war between Keynesians and monetarists (Milton Friedman, “Chicago school”, and modern libertarians’ kindred spirits) finished with the defeat of the last mentioned ones. The main principle of monetarism - policy of non-interference in economics and regulating it - 216 -

only with monetary policy – is already in the past. In addition, I think that meddling in economics and issue bailouts became the best business.

When Paulson issued 350 billion dollar bailout, Obama added 838 billions and in my opinion this is not the last aid. It does not have the end. Keynes is celebrating in the grave; he told them that it was necessary to fix and regulate the problem immediately, but they even didn’t listen to neo-Keynesians. In early thirties John Maynard Keynes was telling to spend as much money as we could during recession. His logic was very simple – let’s say that the prices and salaries are fixed during the recession (the last men- tioned are already fixed in Georgia long ago) to fix the balance between demand and supply. During recession there appears a lack of demand on the market, as it is in Georgia or in the world nowa- days. In such kind of period everybody is interested in the future actions of Gilauri’s government, how to revive market and recover demand (I will just mention that Obama’s team is busy with sort- ing out the same problem). Can he rehabilitate the demand? Key- nes has a very simple answer - yes! According to his point of view, the only necessary thing is to increase the government’s expenses. For instance, this can be done by reconstructing bridges and new roads, or constructing new buildings or cities. In this case, cons- truction companies and their employees gain additional income. Let’s say that these people will spend 80 Tetri from each GEL they get and save 20. According to Keynes, the demand in economy will increase up to 1 GEL, at the expense of construction plus 0.8 GEL, 0.8 GEL spent by workmen, plus 0.8 multiplied by 0.8, at the expenses of those who sell their products to workmen. In the lump, GDP increases 1+0.8 +0.8X0.8+0.8X0.8X0.8=5 GEL. This effect is called Keynes multiplier, when the state spends 1 Gel and it in- 217 -

creases GDP by 5 GEL. To tell shortly and to return to our budget, if Georgian government spends 1 billion GEL on building bridges, the GDP will increase up to 5 billion GEL. Was it all? Will we save our economics in this way? There is one more thing to do.

During recession we must decrease taxes and as the employment is the most actual problem of 2009, we must reduce taxes on the labour. Was it told by Keynes? No, it wasn’t. American economists, Mark Bills and Pitt Kleno, expressed their opinion in their works. They say that if the tax on the labour decreases to 5- 6%, it increases employment up to 4.2%. And what has the government done? They reduced taxes from 25% to 20%. That means that they fulfilled this promise and got the result; the unemployment reduced by 2.8%. That’s absolutely right! Obama’s team and our government are rubbing shoulders. Who is in Obama’s team? You may ask. Lawrence H. Summers, Christina D. Romer, Paul Walker and others. Who is in Gilauri’s team? The same type of people!

Everything seems to be so easy, glory to Keynes’ name! Down with Friedman and Monetarism! Neo- Keynesianism time has come and nowadays whole world is seized by Neo-Keynesianism (I knew it and that’s why Keynes portrait is hanging on the wall of Arveladze cabinet and not in my own. Who knows what is going to happen.

Is it otherwise? Don’t be a prophet of doom! How is it then?

Keynes multiplier isn’t 5? How much is it then? Who said this?

Experts? Who has asked those weak-headed experts? We want and it will be. Keynes doesn’t know and Georgian experts do? We and Obama will spend 1 billion on bridges and increase GDP, economy and market by 5 billion. Moreover, we will support construction and increase demand. They think that I believe in these greenhorn experts’ forecasts and not in Keynes! Generally, after Galaktioni there should have been no other poets, as he has exhausted the - 218 -

poetry, the same is about Keynes, as after him there shouldn’t have been any other experts. Keynes should be dead and some of the experts alive? It is a pity! What the TV screen is bearing? Where is the justice? Beggars, loafers, and they are begrudging of multipliers! This man left to us legacy – 5 is this multiplier! These ignorant people are obstinate. Don’t believe?

I hope you remember who was reporting in Switzerland last year’s Davos economical forum. (This year they were so hard up of economists that the main reporter was Putin (maybe they want him to share the fate of the previous reporter) Lehmann Braider was the main reporter last year – the president of 160 years old investment bank. I remember how all the businessmen and economists were looking at him with respect and writing down his forecasts and prospects of 2008 economic development. However, after nine months in September 2008, everybody was bombarding him with abuse and called him a swindler and ignorant. This is all what your expert can do! Down monetarism and long live Keynes! We have found way out of crisis – this way is passing through a bridge!

January, Year 2009

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PUBLIC DEFAULT “EXPERIENCE AND HISTORY TEACHES US – NATIONS AND GOVERNMENTS LEARN NOTHING FROM HISTORY!” GEORGE WILHELM FRIEDRICH HEGEL It is hard to watch an upcoming raging wave of ten meters high; how tsunami is reaching and you are sitting in a small boat. Alternatively, you are running away like the hero of Georgian tale Tsikara and giants are chasing you, you want to take out of your pocket the magic comb and threw it away, but you don’t have it.

Alternatively, like Natsarkekia (Georgian tale), you want to stick an awl into the shoulders of the giant but an awl is blunt. You want to shout – “wolf is coming”, but like Kajana you have no voice.

It is strange why I remembered Tsikara during this raging crisis or where does the bull come in? It doesn’t bring you a happiness!

Take as an example Merrill Lynch! You might remember how its bull was boasting and now it is jobless! Who cares for the bull of bankrupted company? You see, the bull died in the year of a bull.

This is dangerous superstition! The story of a mouse accused in the crisis was more humane (2008 was the year of Mouse). They just arrested him. However, they haven’t condemned him yet. They couldn’t determine the motive of accusation as the defendant mouse wasn’t caught in the act of starting the crisis. Whose fault is this crisis? Why did they catch the mouse and what is the fate of the bull? Where has the “Invisible hand”, magician of the economy, stolen away? Why should state pay for the bonuses eaten by the top managers? – There are many questions like these ones. However, the most interesting question is what economic rules is using world today and where does the bull come in this bear trend?

Recently, at the award of small and average businessmen held by - 220 -

Chamber of Commerce annually, one celebrated businessman Mr. Jumber Khatiashvili expressed his opinion toward the crisis: some years will pass and world overcomes the crisis. Some new economical theories will be established and some people will be awarded Nobel prizes for that. We will learn lesson from this situation, but certainly, there will be other worse crisis that will be caused by other reason and different system. This is a curious situation. There is a saying that they won’t lock the barn door till after the horse is stolen. However, the horse is already stolen, but the barn door is not locked yet. Moreover, last year we thought that everything bad already happened and the crisis was in its peak. Because of this we put everybody in jail, including the hero of the last year – mouse.

However, it appeared that all was done in vain. The raging wave of crisis is reaching and this year will be most disastrous. What was called recession last year, now has become mature, strong and turned into crisis. If in next year, the crisis becomes stronger and turns into giant have a mercy upon us Lord. One might ask Tsagareli what animal is ruling the next year. How are the planets and Br---a disposed toward us? Moreover, can we take operation on stomach without necessity, as there will be shortage in food? Economic forecasts have lost the sense and maybe it’s better to listen to astrological prognosis. Maybe Tsagaerli will be able to solve the matter of economy’s fate, as the economic institutions keep the mum.

However, economic experts are “so scarce” nowadays that I won’t be surprised if one day we hear that economic expert Mikhail Tsagareli will speak about economic intentions of the planets and the state of demand-supply rule. Why not! He knows more about Bull and Mouse. Nobody is aware what kind of economy are we living in, so maybe planets are aware of these issues more. Maybe they know how to stop raging crisis, fill the sieve with wa- ter and - 221 -

return the debts by talking or in which constellation should we be now? I think it’s a good idea – astrologer and economic ex- pert together - Mikhail Tsagareli. Does it matter will it be Tsagareli or Magareishvili? The value is one – nobody listens to them!

Meanwhile crisis is raging and coming. Mouse is in jail, bull is howling. We are not releasing this crisis and we are doing the right thing. Let it be in Wall Street! We will trust Tsagareli and if we do not be able to justify Hegel’s ideas, we will learn the lesson. The public default is taking a start now, as people won’t be able to pay the debts anymore. Maybe we should ask Tsagareli, when it would be better to pay the overdue debts and go on default.

February, Year 2009

CRISIS SYMPHONY AND CACOPHONY EXPECTATION GEORGIAN PARAMETERS OF EDGEWORTH BOX FROM EMPIRICAL STANDPOINT Georgia is an amazing country and unique people live here. They say something once and then they are defending this thesis by all means. One of my students told a story about my colleague professor, who was proving that value-added tax (VAT) is a direct tax. My student is from Jvari region. He was asserting that the professor was wrong and VAT is an indirect tax. Professor remained adamant! - “Nonsense!” You think I do know nothing? It is a direct tax, when some funds come in the organization; they cut off the VAT immediately!!!

Well, what can I say? Maybe my colleague was angry on VAT or maybe once he said something then he didn’t change his mind. This is a matter of principle! I understand him. Empirically it seemed so and thus he didn’t use the in-depth deduction method. The same - 222 -

thing is about Marques. He was bearing family line and faithfully protected it! He was small and couldn’t or didn’t move into depth.

This feature is indigenous!

Similarly, once we said that there is no crisis here and that was it... We do not change our minds. Long ago we said that in spring 2009, construction business would be collapsed and crisis of nonpayment and defaults would begin in summer. However, constructors were stubbornly declaring that there is no crisis and construction business is flourishing! They disregarded the fact that crisis is spread in whole world, especially in construction business. How can it be so that this field is flourishing only in Georgia? Numbers became so strained that our statistics burn out and now we are going to restart statistics with already destroyed motherboard. However, its virtual memory is still alive. Isn’t it a wonder!!! One fine day, somebody cried help, construction business is collapsing, but this is banks’ fault.

This is how happens in empiricism – when teenager squanders money, when he wagers all his money in totalizator like my laziest, smattering, but polite students Nozadze and Kapanadze. Afterwards he goes to his mother and tells her - If you would have lend me the money, I would waged more and won! There was a suggestion of truth in what he said. The fact is that construction bubble is blowing out! I imagine urinary bladder and I have heard about it even in empiricism. However, I haven’t heard of a cons- truction bubble. Suddenly I imagine urinary bladder of twenty- storey house that blows out.

Full toxicity is endangering society! In modern economy language this is called appearing of a seabed. Seabed appearing is quite important. Now whole world is looking for the seabed of the crisis.

Afterwards we might know what is awaiting us and how long will - 223 -

it last. Something is laid on the seabed that points us how long and in which direction the crisis is developing. Cleverness of Georgians and their uniqueness is expressed in the fact that in re- mote past, our ancestor was creating the theory of the seabed! We were always looking for something in the bottom of Bazaleti Lake! We are quite experienced both in empiricism and n searching for the bottom. Like Suliko we have not managed to find it yet, but we are quite good at searching it. One thing is important, Bazaleti Lake has limited boundaries and one cannot exceed them – this is our full recourse. This is called Edgeworth box and its main thesis is satisfying one’s interests at the expense of the other and this is called Pareto effectiveness. In other words Bazaleti Lake is the same as Edgeworth box.

The time has come to recognise the parameters of the crisis and the fact that the first accord of the crisis – Do will be stroked by construction business, while Re accord will be played by banks.

They will do this gently as they are used to – sensitively. My will be – industry and afterwards deficit together with inflation. Until theses accords sound by turns, the symphony in the country’s economy will be endurable. This lasts till summer and then... Some “Invisible hand” will strike all the keys together and what happens?

– Empirical cacophony, disorder of Edgeworth box on a scientific language, blowing out of the bubble on a PR scene. This will be people’s tragedy that will be called in the banks because of their debts. This will be a cascade of indebtedness in whole society – banks, construction companies, developers and population.

It’s time to change ourselves like spring does. It’s time to change our colour like the nature and recognise the problems of Edgeworth box. We shouldn’t be stubborn. Let’s create state program of lightning guard. I don’t think that it would be easy to listen to the - 224 -

cacophony and it’s better to change the nature during the empi- ricism. The character is most significant. Don’t we know what type of tax is VAT? Don’t we know that we have had Bazaleti Lake theory before Edgeworth box. We haven’t had the meaning of ordinate and abscissa and it’s time to find it.

Georgians, we are extraordinary people. We are empirically good people, we have polyphonic character and we are not afraid of cacophony. However, Edgeworth box and Pareto effectiveness are most significant.

March, Year 2009

HOW CICERO EVALUATED MODERN GEORGIAN SITUATION AND WHY CRISIS DOESN’T WANT TO TALK WITH US “I would make mistake together with Plato rather than arrive at the truth with modern Greeks (experts)” Cicero When the hostility appeared between Pompeii and Cesar Cicero said then: “I know whom I should ran away from, but I do not know where to”.

Plutarch Every one of us is a sinner. These words seem more topical during Easter time. That is why we keep the fast so carefully, we are happy of confession and forgiving of our sins. We have hope of Easter. Spring and scattered rain are mixed with political economical dirt. That is why I recalled Cicero and Plutarch. Two things existed always – search for the truth and the experts seeking for it.

People were always claiming that thinkers know nothing either in economics or politics. People did not like them, but at the same time they did not know what would be better. On the other hand, - 225 -

Plato always will be old former philosopher for these experts, while Suliko Bugalashvili is a prospective genius. Earth is strong and it can bear even such things so that it doesn’t break except of rare cases.

Moreover it gets used to such gibberish and the vaguer it is the more it bears. It says – you see, he is talented; so what if he has not got such logical mind as Cicero and it is not clear what he says.

The main things are tone, phrase and absurd demagogy. One year they are economic experts; then they get bored of it and become political ex- perts. In the future if they have time they might try a chance in show business or in religion or become writers. So what if they write noth- ing. Writing is not necessary at all; they can be writers without writ- ing. They might not receive Tsero award, but they do not bother. Can one be a professor-economist, doctor and expert and write nothing? Of course! We do not want to be economic experts; there is no dem- and for them at the market and thus one should become political expert or a writer. In principle these two things are the same. There have been many talks about one thing – when world and local crisis will be finished and what will be its consequences? Opinion is divided into three directions: first – the president saying that in autumn we will know the length of a snake and its full scale; sec- ond – European; Europeans do not know what is going to happen, but they have some hopes; third – Chinese; Chinese are praying for prolongation of crisis; If Europeans know where are they running to and they are deeply concerned as always, Chinese exactly know where are they going and as Rome’s great commander would say – rising star has more followers than that of setting. The country of rising sun China is in the same situation. We are not classified yet. We do not speak about crisis and do not recognize it. Therefore, crisis is angry with us and - 226 -

it doesn’t visit us. It is stubborn you know. It doesn’t like our cold reception. You do not appreciate me, so I will not visit you! So we are left without crisis and economic experts are left without jobs.

There is big demand on political experts in the market. Journalists are asking you: what type of experts you are. You can choose the one that is popular. Inter alia, crisis has heard of this and it became indignant: Who should study my behavior and character together with my cause-effect here- ditary connections with my ancestors?

This is a case sensitive and demands serious expert research. As all the experts and govern- ment are involved in politics and have no time for economy, I will not visit Georgia.

So crisis is angry with us and it left us without ratings. The country which is mad of ratings and nobody is aware the names of these ratings. However, the history will know it and future gene- ration will be deeply concerned due to our achievements or failures. We were included in any list or rating and we were proud of it. We have nothing in economy – neither currency export profit nor investments, neither industrial growth nor employment. However, we are included in the ratings?! For instance, we could be the most indifferent country to crisis or the country that frightened crisis itself. Everything is possible, but crisis is not visiting us. It is angry with Georgia, with its economy and experts. Crisis is standing behind the door and doesn’t know what to do or where to go. We are at a deadlock. Neither crisis, nor experts and ratings.

It is a heavy Easter and we are expecting summer with deep con- cern. One thing bothers me – Plato is a philosopher or former philo- sopher?

April, Year 2009

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WHAT IS LASHING? “Ricardo conquered England as completely as the Holy Inquisition conquered Spain” “That its teaching, translated into practice, was austere and often unpalatable, lent it virtue.”!

John Maynard Keynes – “General theory of employment, interest and money”, Kutaisi, 1995. Page 39 Summer and spring are muddled. We miss hot weather and tranquility. Economy yawned, stretched and slumbered. We have plenty of time to think about and discuss aims of our existence.

Economists have more time for thinking then other, Economy and economists are amazing – they know and see everything. They lock the stable door when the horse is stolen – external factors, inner forces, adverse conditions, Edgworth box, Tibo model etc. To say in one word, they are not sure of anything. Darwin was the toughest guy ever!

Inter alia, Darwin’s 150th anniversary is planned to be celebrated in village Lesichine, Chkhorotsku region. They have even established organization committee. There are big preparations and they are going to invite guests from all over the world. Do not think that they are doing this with loving care, they are just criticizing him.

Just you wait! We will show you how it is to be a monkey. Englishmen are angry with Darwin. They said that as Darwin reckoned that apes were his ancestors, let apes celebrate his anniversary. So all eyes are turned to experts from Lesichine, who are trying to prove that mankind originated from Megrelians, instead of apes!

As I already mentioned there are big preparations in Lesichine. I have exact information that Sopho Sitchinava is the member of the committee. She is in charge of third B part criticism and analysis.

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Third B part concerns chromosomes and genetic net. That is why Megrelians are not active during the protest marches.

Darwin exactly knew what he was talking about. He was right when he said that we originated from apes. Inter alia, scientists have studied economic and political order among horde of monkeys. It seems that their order is something between thimocracy and democracy with democratic-socialist tinge. Darwin was real expert. You might think like some of Georgians that who chose Darwin as expert. He traveled for five years in jungles, he came back from nowhere, gained experience and developed a theory and thus he became expert.

The same thing is in economy. You work on some subject for years, keep it up, analyze, study, and thus gain experience and become expert in the field of your studying. Then you might be asked for some advice. If one endowed with talent of foreseeing then he/ she might become competent analytic and enjoy respect and trust of people.

It is very hard! Ricardo was such expert and that is why Keynes compared him with inquisition. He was severe and man of principle, pure and honest, but they didn’t like him. They even didn’t like his ideas. Growing bourgeoisie liked his ideas, but not authorities. That is always in this way. Nobody likes economists, especially politicians. Economists are talking too much truth and they are too severe. That is why holly crusade has been started against experts and politicians never miss a trick to criticize them either at home or aboard. Moreover, they are criticizing true experts and praise artificial ones. Nobody needs expert, neither those in the power or the ones who plan to come to the power. Everybody wants to have own, domestic expert – who will talk advantageous things, or in other words carrions (word “lash” in Georgian language means - 229 -

carrion). This is where term lashing is derived of!

At present I am working for accomplishment of my old dream – I soon complete book about international trade and banking. My book starts with the words – “What is lashing”. And I finish the book with the same words. Word lashing with its initial meaning is wonderful transport term. However, Georgians assigned another meaning to the word – lashing (carrion) lover, a person leading depraved life of carrion (lash). In other words, a person, an expert who consciously tries to be a lash (carrion) and to turn this into lifestyle.

What all these things have to do with experts? – It is in direct connection. There are two methods of creating “experts” and manipulating society’s opinion – first, to hatch greenhorn child “expert”, who is wet behind the ears, by means of genetic engineering.

Second, one can incline some old expert in your favor. Both methods are fashionable and both of them are connected to lashing. That is why carrion experts created by means of genetic engineering are so frequent.

Lashings are wide spread in Georgia and Darwin’s anniversary is approaching in Lesitchine.

May, 2009

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MINISTERS’ HANGOVER AND ECONOMIC STABILITY Ministers’ relations with Zeus have become apparent I was born to love not to hate Sophocles, 496-406 B.C I have two greatest celebrations in my life – New Year and summer (of course if they don’t spoil it). Despite heavy rains and floods, the sun sitting on almost blocked and built-up Makhata mount, with terribly charming eyes, is slyly and gracefully bending its neck and languishing lovely eyes. Despite its long distance, it fills life with energy and makes you to feel the beauty of life – that’s fantastic, even during crisis! In the times when crisises (What? Crisis is uncountable? Nuts! We have countable crisises and if something doesn’t coincide with grammar rules then coming out from the ongoing situation we should changes them by people’s demand) are raging, one minister, handsome like Dartanian appeared and blackened the world.

He declared with big self-confidence (where he took this self-confidence from, one might don’t have such, even in the heaven. Both heaven and economics are helpless toward nature, but it appears that ministers do not share their fate) that in the nearest future, maybe tomorrow 90% of the territory of crisis Georgia will be flooded and washed away by water. Everybody recalled the Flood, they left their houses and arable, gathered and started debates – is it true or false. People said – he is not an ordinary man, he is a minister and might have some contacts in heaven. Country and media were paralyzed. Everybody was talking about Noah’s Ark and new Deluge. It was amazing that weather bureaus and Ministries of neighboring countries were not telling a word about it. People went mad, is this flood only for us? It was a real end of the world - 231 -

and expectation of apocalypses. It was already daylight. It was 11 o’clock in the morning. Sun was shining stubbornly and its eyes were running shyly. The sun was feeling uncomfortable, as there were no clouds to justify minister’s prognosis.

It is midday – sun is shining, life is going on, there are no signs of yesterday’s flood. The fans of entering the books of history – eh… we thought we had the chance to enter the history, but we came a cropper. Somebody said that he might have a hangover and he joked. Someone answered, that this is not a joke when you terrify and paralyze whole country. It happens so… As I have already mentioned, my second most favorite celebration is a New Year. Few years ago, one of the ministers appeared on TV and he was having a hangover also. I was in a fine fettle and in a lovely mood, the one that a person might have once in few years and the one that absorbs whole demand-supply and Edgeworth Box… Suddenly, with terrible and severe voice minister declared (I guess he has acquaintance in upper levels also) that bird flu is going to attack Georgia either from North-West or South-East and it might kill 80% of Georgian population! Yes that’s true! The minister of Health care and of connection with heaven had no navel. Our ministers are holding two positions at the same time.

So it started… The farms constructed with new investments were closed, all the birds were killed, and property was destroyed.

Business and people suffered huge damages. We were dreaming of chickens at night. However, nobody has seen the mentioned flu in Georgia, while economy suffered huge damage, while ministry attracted millions of grants. There were queues for coffins and people were measuring places at cemeteries! This was a real expectation for apocalypses! What else might one minister do, he killed such a number of chickens, nothing to say about turkeys. Business stopped - 232 -

and it cannot stand on its feet up today. Then we killed pigs also, one cannot find Georgian pig or piglet in the restaurant or at the market. It’s easier to marry off a daughter than to buy a piglet for her wedding!!! We miss old things. You cannot find Mtsvadi (Georgian dish) of pork with bones. These times have passed away. Now we are asking: – Please, bring some bones with these five skewers of pork.

– No, this pig had no bones!

– My brother, is your pig a cucumber not having some bones?

Who has seen a pig without bones?

So bones are in deficit! Then? So, this hard working minister who showed his worth in killing chickens (the blood of all the chickens is laying at his door) was sent to rest and share the experience in Czech Republic. Pigs and chickens have unprecedentedly bred there.

Why do you blame Dartanian? He killed chickens, but this one is killing people. The number of heart attacks increased hundred times in these days, people couldn’t sleep at night. So what… Few lives were sacrificed and that’s why Flood didn’t occur. Maybe I sacrilege, but fact is one – if there were no contacts of the ministers with heaven, even prognoses about flood might have come true.

No, they are tough ones, they are new Vangas – they hit the bull’seye.

Wake up Georgia! Now we should have been in Noah’s Ark. We would have solved our territorial and Euro integration issues. We would storm into Europe with this ark and would have become EU and NATO members. Who would dare to stand against flood! Did you take the hint? That’s cool… Now, they will promote this minister also. Where? I guess they will send him to Ararat mount. He loves mountains and nature and ark stopped there!

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In an economic theory, especially in the part of dealing and risk management, there are some political hangover risks. However, two things have not been ever separated – upper contacts and deriving information from heavens and apocalyptic issue of prognoses. This requires research studies with new method of modeling, in order to calculate scrupulously how much a “hangover” and upper contacts might cost.

June, 2009

CHANGES IN THE THEORY OF EXCHANGE ANALYSIS AND CONSTANT BULL TREND Bull was always worshiped and respected in Georgia. It was considered as helper of Georgian people. My book – Political Economic Satire-2 saw the light this month. On the cover of the book I placed caricature known for every economist – picture of brotherhood of bull and bear! And it started… Everybody was asking what is the sense, where do animals or bear come in here? Some even started discussing the role of a bull in Georgian mythology. I was surprised by such estrangement, but then I understood everything! I realized that Georgian economy is not acquainted with bear trend, especially now when there is constant bull trend in pricing policy!

One idea came to my mind – to analyze bull trend and inflation issues with the example of pricing policy. How? For instance: Together with changes in global climate, in the times when earth’s temperature is falling catastrophically, prices at world market are falling also and deflation endangers whole world. Inflation dragon is strolling in Georgia.

Everything is getting cheaper and cheaper everywhere, even money is for free. However, only in Georgia everything becomes - 234 -

more expensive and inflation is enjoying itself. Bank service rate increased in 2009, just like interest rate. Moreover, Bank Republic increased monthly fee for safe deposit boxes from GEL 25 to GEL 30 or by 20%. The same increase is observed in the fees of other bank products and quite often this increase is concealed. You might wonder how is this possible and in vain. Every bank has its own insurance company. Despite the fact that many imperfections of risk management have been improved this one remains the same.

Why? – Because, while restructing bad loans in own companies everything is reinsured and thus incomes from insurance areincreased. The number of blacklisted payers increases in the same way and it already exceeded quarter of a million. Executive business is the toughest and most terrible at the same time. Ongoing things there remind Massacre of St. Bartholomew! There is no salvation. Prices in the restaurants are increasing; price of Georgian pig shish kebab is 14-15 Laris, while the price of turkey remains the same. The volume of shish kebab is reduced either – from 400 grams to 250 grams in best case. One friend of mine told me not long ago – I’ve been always eating one skewer of shish kebab and I was sated, now everything changed and thus I am ordering two skewers of shish kebab.

Consumption level of Indian meat has increased and it drew away Georgian national products. Most of Sulguni is made of powder and that’s why they are seemingly milky, but in reality they are watery. The prices of Sulguni are increased either, nothing to say about gasoline and construction materials. Gas, electricity and water prices are holding steady positions. Despite price reduction of the mentioned products at the world markets, gas price in Georgia is not lowering and it maintains 80-Tetri pedestal. I guess it likes being there. Somehow, there are talks that this pity Kaztrans… and - 235 -

some else gas is not beneficial!!! One might go crazy, where this super profit goes away?

The same might be said about electricity, mobile service rate and medicines. Rates of city phones are breaking records; they might even exceed mobile phones service rates. Situation is the same for university and school fees. Nothing to say about fruit prices in supermarkets. Celebrated and familiar unemployment is increasing either. To cut a long story short, current world processes are developing in Georgia in the opposite direction. This is the peculiarity of Georgians. Therefore, many scientists and experts are proving that Georgian economy doesn’t obey world economic rules. It did not believe in Smith, Marx and Keynes. It’s natural that monetarists suffered a wreck. There is unique pricing policy in Georgia and it is called – local rule. They are not interested in demand-supply or elasticity. Whole society is wondering and searching for a cat in a dark room or on the contrary looking for a panther in lightened room.

And they are asking: Is there a monopolist at Georgian market? All of them are monopolists, aren’t they? Ask anyone, who owns sugar, gasoline business or first top twenty of consumption basket. To write down the names of those who are operating in this business means to make a long list of super-monopolists. So what? Nothing.

Simply, ratings and lists are making us happier. Time for economic law to start operating has not come yet in Georgia. Very well, they are not even necessary! Free market is guilty in all the miseries of the west; it drove the world crazy, brought Bird Flu, freedom of abortion and crisis. We have determined prices on electricity, communications services and fuel once and they are stable over the years. Is it better to watch Bloomberg and Reuters monitors whole day and night and wait for rate changes with trembling heart? They remember nothing about feeding or debts. Those were the reasons - 236 -

of world crisis and thus consumption decreased. Everything needs simplicity and steadiness. There is no need in economic rules and theories; we are fed up with other rules already. Therefore, we are the firsts who set high prices under the conditions ofraging crisis and deflation.

Then they start: bull trend, bear trend… We are not interested!!!

We have constant bull trend, if not at exchange then in prices anyway. We worship bulls and just … this is a local tradition! We will have the prices that are necessary for business and politics. How such economy might be called? – Local!

July, 2009

ECONOMICS ASPECTS OF HARD DRINKING AND NEW WAY OUT OF CRISIS What is a free economic zone?

I adore September. First, because many my favorite people including myself were born this month. Second, because this is a fascinating and beautiful time in Georgia, full of colors, abundant and plentiful.

September is bringing misfortune for United States of America. Serious economic catastrophe happened in September last year – American biggest investment bank Lehman Brothers that was dominant in engineering of global securities got bankrupted on 15 September. This was quite logical – main guilty in crisis left the scene. However, hysteria started year ago proved to be wrong – capitalism did not die. GDP reduction made up 4% in USA, 5% in England, 6% in Germany and 8% in Japan, while 10% in Russia1.

(Only Georgia escaped such fall. According to our official data, no - 237 -

matter how surprising it might look, economic growth has made up 6%. This is unbelievable reality of national statistics)2, but game rules still remain the same on financial and business map of the world – America is still dominating, and USD is still subject to income and constant disputes. However, everything is not as simple as it seems -economic theories and conceptions have changed in developing countries and everything is entangled in economic theories – everyone forgot License Fire principle and Adam Smith’s “invisible hand”. Everybody is talking about regulation and state intervention. Approaches, categories and economic concept are being changed. For instance, in the past, free economic zone meant a vast territory that was separated from the rest territory of some country. The business and bureaucracy were full of swing and taxes were set to minimum in three major zones of Dubai and China.

Today, Kutaisi habitants invented new definition – free economic zone is a separated, roofed, asphalt-paved and completely free territory, where there is no production or sales, the territory is just free.

This is a new and comprehensive definition and to my mind quite correct! If one calls some territory a free, it might be actually free!!!

Economic dictionary of XXI century will be extremely different and what is more interesting Georgians will take a part in establishing some definitions. Anyway, new variant of definition of free economic zone belongs to us.

Russians are creating new definitions for the dictionary in amazing field. State regulations – President Medvedev issued a special decree that orders a government to decrease consumption of alcoholic spirits up to the end of this year3! How? – One might ask?

Simply – consumption should be reduced and that’s all! This is a state regulation. And the schedule is already planned -15 December so that population would meet New Year completely sober. Turn- 238 -

over of illegal alcoholic spirits must be eradicated till 1 December.

According to experts illegal turnover of alcoholic spirits amounts 35% of total turnover! (Oh, then you’ll see revolution in Russia). As a man to man, I understand Medvedev – Putin doesn’t allow him to get into the swing of things and thus he has nothing left to do, but to take care of alcoholism in Russia (I guess this idea came to him after summit of Big Eight). Maybe, he cannot get rid of Putin by himself and is trying to do this by means of revolted alcoholics. Anyway, the president ordered his population to drink less, a population for whom drinking is a lifestyle. Therefore, now this is Putin’s headache how to manage this! Maybe he sews their mouths or makes them to swear on mother!

Sober Russia might be quite dangerous!!! Vodka is an economic category and indivisible part of a management in Russia. So it should be regulated… I guess. We might expect that other states start to decrease consumption of other goods. For instance, Germany and Czech Republic reduce beer consumption, Italy decreases consumption of Spaghetti, Kazakhs stop eating so much pilaff, and Chinese won’t drink much tea. This is quite acceptable, in principle! Why not? If business and homeland require this and this even might be the way out of crisis. Imagine, if Georgians reduce consumption of first ten commodities in the basket of goods of import.

These are petrol, gas, bread, sugar, medicines, cigarettes, meat and cars… Every problems would have been solved – we wouldn’t eat bread and get slimmer (Sitchinava would become so delighted and sales of Ksenikal would fall). We wouldn’t use sugar and thus be healthier, we would reduce petrol consumption and stop polluting environment, and we wouldn’t smoke cigarettes and have stronger lungs and thus take less medicines and become free of chemicals!

That would be great; we would direct billions to domestic invest- 239 -

ment. Economics theories are quite surprising. New dissertation and scientific works will be written – “Role of a diet in overcoming economic crisis”, or Alcohol and problems of transitive economy”.

How do you like this? (Then we would read our scientific reports at world economic forums and they would give us a certificate that our report was the best. What, there is no such certificate? This is individual, for some people it exists and for some it doesn’t. We would establish separate program on this issue, it would have become serious subject and we would win a contest for having such an innovative subject, my eye!), or less cigarettes and more investments, Tchiatura and Zestaponi habitants would say – less black smoke and more coal for the homeland. Monographs on the subject – “Down with medicine, long live to grass!” – Or the real way to restoration of an economy.

It seems that first problems for research are already revealed.

For instance, in order to decrease consumption of alcoholic spirits and cigarettes it was said that they kill people. So, due to such life and problems they have no desire to live and thus smoke more and drink more. It seems that Medvedev is a great creator – it is easier to imagine Russia without air than Russia without vodka! Power of economic theory is bottomless, bless your creator! Man might see and experience everything in this life! I should change my profession; I do not want to be an economist any more. I have never thought that vodka would become economic category and alcoholism – economic theory. I will become a lawyer – everything is easy there; there is one good phrase – “it depends on case”.

September, 2009

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HOW CAUCASUS ONLINE BECAME CAUCASUS OFFLINE IN GEORGIA AND WHY WOMEN ARE DOMINATING IN WORLD ECONOMY I have never thought that economists would have nothing to do, but to discuss the Nobel prize in research of management processes of American 76 years old Eleanor Ostrom and 77 years old Olivier Williams.

First time in a history, woman became a Nobel Prize laureate in economics and this happened, in the times when people of such age are not allowed to enter Higher Universities in Georgia. The most important is the fact that Nobel Prize juries were ashamed to award the prize to economists and thus they awarded political scientist on the subject – “management of communities: evolution of the institution of collective actions”.

It should be noted that none of the world’s separate states managed to overcome the current crisis alone and thus they are trying to defeat the crisis with joint forces and are establishing kolkhoz type unions like Big Twenty. I.e. economists have become disabled people and they are not able to act without state intervention and they were right when they closed the door to Nobel Prizes for economists.

Soros and Buffett are declaring that they have no idea what kind of new world should we expect. It is of common knowledge that the world somehow continues existing. Economists resemble fortune tellers – they are not sure in anything and speak only with assumptions.

For instance, while fundamentally analyzing macroeconomics of Georgia, none of celebrated rating agencies, like Standard&Poors or Moody’s, that are attentively scrutinizing our country, moreover, even the World Bank, which is indulging us with ratings, knew - 241 -

what to do and thus decided to establish the new index of technical analysis – level and freedom of internet space in a country.

By the way, it should be noted (it’s unbelievable) that Belorussia in holding the third place by doing business, according to the World Bank’s rating. Lukashenko has been recognized as the father of economic reforms. Experts (not economists) declare that firm might be founded in Belorussia with just one call or SMS. It doesn’t matter that everything, started from vodka and finished with groceries, are monopolized. Kolkhoz is a normal part of ordinary rural life and one cannot enter market without permission of “father”.

However, rating is doubtless. (Source: World Bank).

Let’s return to the theme of internet space quality and freedom.

Georgia is holding the last but one place in this sector. Why? Because, there is only one monopolist in Georgia – Caucasus “Offline”.

It did not expect having such a large number of consumers. Why constantly feasting Georgians would care about internet? At the same time, new internet connection – GE-Link is not regulated… and Caucasus has spent so heavily that now it cannot pay the debt of another monopolist in the country – Georgian Telecom. By the way, the last should have no right to be internet provider as it is the owner of the cables in Georgia. However, it desires to be the first monopolist in the country. So, the big muddle started… Caucasus Online almost stopped working and Tbilisi was left without internet in XXI century. That’s how Georgia became leader of the offline rating.

It is unbearable to hear this. I went out. Golden October was comforting and telling me not to worry. We should have bad ratings also. Yes, it’s true that we do not have internet now, but we will manage to fix this too. Sooner or later, offline becomes online, this is Georgian character of cyclic development of economy.

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They have never thought that so many Georgians would consume internet. Caucasus has not studied calculation of demand-supply and GE-Link passability at the University and it hung. Now, you see the reasons. We are hung.

We should learn management of the community; economists should trust women and politicians. We can comfort ourselves that we have offline, while others may even have no online.

October, 2009

WORLD CRISIS AND IN SEARCH OF INNOVATORY AND HISTORICAL ROLE OF GEORGIA AT THE BOTTOM Here is the story of nanotechnology in scientific research of Mr. DICK and imperative PR imperia of empirical persons Whole world is absorbed in thoughts and deliberately searches for a bottom. Disturbances are reaching their peak. Someone in Europe shouts – hurray! The bottom is seen and then it appears that it was only an illusion. Then, you might hear another emotional exclaim – That’s it! And again no! Obama himself went to Asia, in China to look for the bottom and he couldn’t make it. Disappointed Americans got angry on their favorite president and his rating fell below 50 percent since his election. He beat the records of Ford and Clinton in the speed of rating falling. Whole world is worried and asking where is the bottom! When this nightmare comes to an end, indeed? Oh, they have no idea that it is not an easy task to find the bottom. We, Georgians have been looking for it since 19th century and we call it Bazaleti Lake theory instead of bottom theory. We are looking for the bottom and a cradle at the bottom, and someone who’s lying in this cradle. Today’s world is starting to - 243 -

use one-century old theory of Georgians. Georgians are tough guys, and innovators. They constantly outrun storm of world thinking!

If we have had a little bit more appreciation, we would make a name of tough theoreticians. But, unfortunately, nobody believes us.

Here is the last huge example of bottom theory: we are the first who found the bottom of the crisis in the country. Our National Bank declared about this and adduced arguments that many people have registered houses and flats in public register (Poor ones! it hasn’t finished…) at the same time, banks appeared to be having funds (of course, they have money, as they were not lending it to anybody…) and thus economy is going up. They do not believe anyway. Ben Bernanke declared that slump still continues and they are just expecting side trend at the market instead of correction of bull trend. Once again Ben Bernanke left the world without bottom, but we still continue to insist that we’ve found it (just between ourselves, our ancestors were looking for it over the centuries and how did we manage to find it so quickly?!) and those Americans and Europeans cannot find it yet. So, what can we do now? Is anything bad in the fact that we outdid everybody?!

They don’t believe us, claiming that macroeconomic estimations and Monetary Fund prognoses are telling the other. The devil takes this Monetary Fund. It constantly changes its mind, saying one and another. Georgians have own innovative method. Isn’t it possible to change this moss-grown macroeconomic system and not repeat again and again GDP, PPI and SPI, is it? If it is possible to interbreed one group of molecules with another using nanotechnologies and receive substance non-existent in the nature, then why it is impossible to use new method in macroeconomics and specifically in search for this bottom.

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Recently, one of the celebrated fathers of Georgian economy declared that serious financial collapse is anticipated in the first quarter of 2010. Mr. Ohno has conducted economic research together with Mr. Dick. They have used one of the well-known methods in economy – method of observation. Empirism is natural habitat of their existence and they are known as super economists. The research results were explained as follows – phone calls to friends and relatives for money borrowing have become frequent. If there was only one call in a year, now the number of calls made up ten in October and twenty-three in November. In dynamics this implies that people have exhausted all resources to pay current liabilities of the banks. Whole summer, they were disturbing honest friends and somehow they handled the job. But, it seems that all resources are run out and now they have to address such mean scum of society like us. Thus, people are in very grave situation because of old credits, despite the fact that banks have reserved everything they could under bad loans. The number of bad debtors is almost half of people employed by contracts – 340,000. Fierce credit war is awaiting us and we haven’t found bottom yet. New hobby has become fashionable in Georgia. Research has showed that each citizen has about ten plastic cards and five of them are credit cards – like Orange Card. They spend GEL 2000 and then go to some friend and borrow GEL 2200 for a day. You cover the credit card debt and after a day withdraw the money again. Of course, the sum will be GEL 200 less, so what, he will return the money lately, and creditor is satisfied as he has not lost everything. Then you might withdraw money from another credit card and so on. Epoch of credit cardholders is coming to an end, as there are no friends or relatives left to borrow money. Bottom of credit cards is approaching – the study has showed. New wave of financial collapse is anticipated and big - 245 -

disaster will happen. I asked them, how their research was related with Georgian bottom theory and classic economic calculations.

This is a nanotechnology in economic thinking and it’s based on Georgian old Bazaleti bottom theory – they answered. I went out; I was completely astonished. I breathed fertile Georgian air and thought that I was hiding from giant Georgian talent. I ran down the slope. I confused PR and empirism. Astonished with finding of Mr. Mr. Dick angry about stubbornness of ungrateful fathers of western economy, I joined the crowd of slowly and unemotionally buzzing people on Melikishvili Avenue. I thought to myself – thank God that these people have no idea about Mr. Dick discovery and they are diligently preparing for New Year. (Their calm faces told me that they were looking for bottom of Bazaleti Lake and cradle at the bottom and someone in that cradle, just like their ancestors.

And they were happy). They knew something that Ben Bernanke does not.

So, Georgians are the first who searched bottom and who found it. Anyway, we are on our own and this crisis is per se. What? Don’t you understand? Neither I. November, 2009

CHRISTMAS TREE OF WORLD DEBTS AND POOR TIGER IN CAPTIVITY OF SCHUMPETER’S THEORY “Despite everything there is a way out of this dead end – use of financial means to save system of excessive savings by means of crises and devaluation” John Arig, Adam Smith in Beijing, 2009, pg 249 Oh, miracle, economic theories are going to a dead end one by one. Starting from 2001 and in his latest book Alan Greenspan was - 246 -

emphasizing that this crisis is bearing Schumpeter’s style. This will be followed by “creative destruction” (this is a category created

by Joseph Schumpeter). Many economists reckon that the main achievement of 20th century is theory of economic development

by Schumpeter. Alan Greenspan was carrying out monetary policy in accordance with this theory. The theory that brought huge benefits to USA and world together with current crisis. However, Greenspan, just like Schumpeter was accusing financial circles and structures in boundless liberalism. A foundation for a new theory is being constructed now – curing illness with illness. Though, it might be not new (illnesses are cured by means of bacteria in medicine aren’t they?!)

World in crisis of debts (crisis appears to have many names, just like flu). Some of the countries are living with constant debts.

For instance, exemplary country Japan issues $600 billion bonds in 2009 that exceeds its annual taxation incomes ($416 billion). Government is planning to issue bonds with the value of $400 billion as it cannot service old debt other way. National debt of Japan made up 200 percent of GDP in 2009. According to forecasts it might reach 227 percent in 2010. 65 percent of state budget is spent on paying interest rate of old debts. And this in the times, when tax incomes are decreased by 20 percent in 2009 and economic growth made up 9.5 percent. Yen is hardening against dollar. National debt of Greece might amount 120% of GDP in 2010. $40 debt is accounted per capita, while budget deficit is 12.7 percent. Italy has joined this team with 120 percent. Germany, Britain, Spain and Ireland are the members of 80 percent club. They are not having a bad life at all. According to recognized macroeconomic standards, countries should have been in default long ago, they should have been starving right now. However, despite crisis and huge debt, they are - 247 -

living a good life more or less. They are expecting inflation and are hoping to cure bacillus by means of bacillus (debt with inflation).

Debt sucks out and will be written off and then they start over to accumulate debts. What else might be said about USA with its $11 trillion debt!!!

Theories and economics are changed. Crisis seems to be necessary to write off everything and increases demand!!! Schumpeter is right and Adams theory is the truth, but treating indebtedness with debts is a new and lively theory! It might be said that it is very attractive in this Tiger’s New Year. Moreover, Tiger is in captivity of Schumpeter and it is sitting in debts cell, but it is free and happy! How? This is a new theory – Neo Schumpeterism! Georgians have the tradition not to meet New Year with debts. It seems that everything is upside down. One should not meet New Year without debts. Everybody will be loaded with debts at New Year’s Eve. This is a new theory!

If you want to see the list of happy ones, take a look at credit-info dossier with more than 3,000 people. They are the followers of new debt theory. Clever people who are sitting and waiting for devaluation of dollar so that to easily cover debts. There is nothing to worry about. Everything will be all right. Debts are oppressing not only you but the dream countries like Japan and USA; nevertheless they manage to live like a king, don’t they?!

Debts were considered as shame in the past. Now it is prestigious. If you can borrow money, you are respected and tough guy!

What else do you want? Is it not enough? What then? Comes crisis, pig flu or sheep flu or bird flu and all the debts will be written off.

Our main task is to include whole Georgian population in the list of bad creditors of Credit Info. And whole Georgia will be black listed. What will the banks do then? They will have left nobody to - 248 -

issue credit to. Thus they will tear this list by themselves. Recently, one attractive lady has come to my office and offered me… do not think of anything bad… She offered me some service – to buy a list, so called black list. List of bad payers. I told her that I did not need it as I could simply take the election list, exclude political elite from it and that’s all. Moreover, we could make the list international and include our friends: America, Japan, Greece, Spain and whole country will be us.

I recalled one New Year anecdote – Dzuku has 1000 Laris debt of his neighbor. Once the neighbor asked to return the debt and Dzuku told him he had no money. Then the neighbor went to Dzuku and asked to give at least 800 laris. Dzuku told him that he would try to return debt. Angry neighbor went to Dzuku on New Year’s eve and told to give him at least 500 laris right now. Dzuku told the neighbor – “What’s the problem, I am paying the debt gradually!”

This is a very old anecdote, but theoretically Dzuku is very close to Schumpeter.

Thus, the things are not so bad. Everything will be all right in the New Year, long live to the world of debts! Whole world in the name of debtors wishes you happy New Year. Wish you this year the life of America and Japan loaded with debts.

This is an economics of innovations, the country is changing, approaches and theories are changing. Hope our economy, standards of living, debt attitude and credit info list will change.

December, 2009

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CAUSE AND EFFECT RELATION BETWEEN CLIMATE CHANGE AND THAT OF BOTH WITH THE ECONOMY The sensational discovery was made by DEVI experts and confirmation of these researches by the recent events in the environment protection sphere and in our society, or why no Olympic Games will be held in Russia Year 2010 is indeed a strange one and not because even a tiger is helpless in this crisis period or not because the Easter is earlier than Annunciation, but because there is a new phenomenon on the earth – humans become colder while the nature becomes warmer and more unpredictable and this becomes a purely economic category. Just imagine, there is no snow in Vancouver and it is so warm that Olympic Games are endangered, there was no enough snow in Gudauri and Bakuriani to ski for even one week and the same could be said about Austria and Salzburg! The Swiss mountain resorts and generally, tourism business suffer huge losses. Instead, people become increasingly become cold-hearted, they are almost like icebergs. By the way, the in-depth scientific research showed that this is an economic phenomenon as well. You just imagine, when a human has the heart and nature similar to iceberg, his/her temperature is lower and in winter they need less heat. They feel more comfortable in cold.

Why have I looked into such depth? I have a new hobby – from the company Devi, the daughter company of Danish Danfoss producing electronic heating systems. And when making calculations of needed heat, one should take into consideration this factor! For example, the Danes are quite cold (maybe Mr. Rasmussen was so cool to our request on joining to NATO) and they spend very small amounts for heating! They feel comfortable in the cold.

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The Cypriots are hot and their costs for heating, per square meter, per average Cypriot, with supposedly one heart, are 23% higher than that of the Danes! Don’t you believe me? You can see www.

Devi.com.

The great objective of the mankind was improvement of the effectiveness factor, creation of the golden balance between the humans and nature. Seeking of the solution of this problem has led the Danes to the new invention in the heating sector. Earlier the head was heated and later they discovered that if a person has cold or ice heart, nothing can help, if heating is not provided from beneath! And the Danes have found a new formula – increase of the environment temperature, warming of climate is in inverse proportion with the fall of the human’s internal temperature and extent of freezing of the heart. This sensational discovery was made by the DEVI experts and the recent events in environment protection and our society have confirmed this.

Based on these calculations the heat losses and energy consumption in the revolutionary Danish electric heating systems are computed! Do you think it is a common humor? Not at all! After calculations it turned out that in Russia there are so many people with cold and frozen hearts that at Krasnaya Polyana, in Sochi, it is hot and there is no snow at all and this has endangered Winter Olympic Games. According to the same calculations, the cold-heartedness and internal freezing in Russia will achieve to such level that the temperature will rise by several degrees and according to the statement of the official government, if the things go in this way no Olympic Games will be held and maybe, on Baykal the summer beaches will be arranged.

Ilarionov, the expert agrees with this opinion. At the lecture at Tbilisi Free University he said that global warming is an invented - 251 -

issue and it is associated with the economic phenomena.

In 2010, sensational discovery of the Danes has impressed the world but it could not withstand such cruel and cold-hearted people.

Moreover, the European scientists went further in their researches and discovered that there is a deficiency of love on the Earth and the ozone hole and deficiency of its layer is not as dangerous as love deficiency. Both of them become the parts of contemporary cosmic space as they reflect from humans, travel to cosmic space and return back. That’s why there occur such earthquakes, floods, storms and other cataclysms. All these are caused by love deficiency and become absolutely adequate economic category. Even if we consider this at the micro level – a person without love is less motivated and hence he/she lacks productivity, like the frozen person – creativity. Each case of anger is 1234 watt per second and each case of cruelty – 321 watt per minute, indifference to the pain and problems of the other person (e.g. Europe’s attitude to Georgia) is 7432 watt per minute and that’s why there was so cold in the entire Europe and particularly its western part!!! In 2010, scientific economic researches moved to the different area. Perhaps this is the innovative economy in this ovation world!

I must establish the unified economic society of the cardiologists and economists to study the climate changes and the people with frozen hearts.

Let the economists save the world – join us.

January 2010

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WHY KEYNES SHOULD BE RESPONSIBLE FOR CONSTRUCTION OF THE OVERHEAD ROAD AT THE SQUARE OF HEROES IN TBILISI “Spinoza’s god is doomed to the permanent changes” “It is absolutely accidental for the triangle that it is a right-angled one” Immanuel Kant, Metaphysics, p. 356, 367 “How do you want when he rouse his hand and threatened the city with his sword” Bible, Wisdom of Zyrach, Chapter 46, page 645 “Let the truth flow like water and be the truth an uninterrupted flow” Moses, Chapter 5, p. 833 With spring new headache and problems raised in Tbilisi, why the triangle has turned into the circle? Who is responsible for this?

What could it mean? Some people say that this is the City Hall’s advertising before the elections (yes, it would be a good billboard) and the others say that the triangle was bored to be a triangle and turned into the circle (as Kant has said, this is not a triangle’s guilt, it is an accident and in addition, it is possible if one follows the laws of metaphysics) and some say even that this was the fault of John Menard Keynes. He was the author of the idea and it was realized by the young neo-Keynesians.

I understand, my dear readers will think that this is an April joke, but the citizens have nothing else to think about. Some of them think that this gorge is a soul of Tbilisi and the body may belong to someone but the soul – never. People were confused most of all by mentioning of Keynes, they wondered, what this Keynes wanted of them (God bless him), he made the entire world crazy there and now he has reached us! The matter is that he has left the - 253 -

will, according to which, the money spent for construction of the bridges, overhead roads and similar advertising thinks will return into economy five times increased. Just imagine, for year 2010, 750 million is intended for such structures and its multiplication by five will give 3.5 billion and this is one fourth of our GDP!!! Great formula!!! It is worth to satisfy oneself with the body and turn the triangle into the circle. They say that at a time of the Great Depression they have commenced construction of West-East road in the USA and they could not capture the soul of prairies but they have saved America. Don’t you believe? You just ask the Americans!

I see, you don’t believe me, neither have you believed Keynes and Kant – about unintentional transformation of the triangle and in addition, you don’t trust the laws of metaphysics but it is the fact that after completion of this bridge the battle for gaining the position of Tbilisi Mayor became much more extensive.

All people move to the cities and regarding that Tbilisi economy comprises 2/3 of the country’s total economy and they intend to change the law after elections and make the mayor the main political figure in the country. He/she will change the taxes, supply water for free, the electricity – for 5 tetri and return back the USSR and lost deposits – do you believe in this? And why don’t you believe in Keynes’s words? Yes, let’s the soul and metaphysics belong to you and give up the bridge, body and multiplier, even if they want it for the billboard. You just imagine, if each elections on Georgia result in construction of one overhead road, the country would flourish.

By the way, one of my friend ladies did not like the bridge’s body, the other – its soul. Dies the bridge have the soul? – Maybe, as they say so, it has the soul, they say that it has a very elegant body, maybe it was subjected to plastic surgery like Shorena Begashvili the other one said that the soul of the bridge could not be pure – it - 254 -

was close to the circus.

Some people even say that construction of this bridge was lobbied by those who work near the circus, not to become wet in rain and feel more comfortable under the bridge. I don’t know, maybe this is true. This means that the bridge has the social function! Now they will stand under the bridge and instead of singing “the river under the bridge...” now we shall sing: “ the women under the bridge...”

God bless Keynes, he took care about them as well! Can you understand the mystic metamorphose – circle, women and eternity, similar to Keynes and his multiplier? Can you understand, what is the relation between Keynes and the bridge on the Square of Heroes? I think, this is a reliable argument, it is of social nature, in addition to economic and this is for sure.

This spring all came to the city and “how do you want when he rouse his hand and threatened the city with his sword”.

And they go on building of the bridge; it was restored at a time of Easter. I don’t know what about the soul but its body, like the bodies of women standing in the vicinity of circus, will belong to all Tbilisi citizens and in addition, this will be a good example of elections propaganda and metamorphose, and we are waiting for it as longingly as we wait for the spring!

So you should blame no one, everything is Keynes’s guilt.

March 2010

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MONDAY SYNDROME We often ask, why our economy is not doing well; and why we are still poor, why, with the high ratings our absolute indicators are still low.

This question is a complex and rhetoric one! We are building a new country. No, this country has existed before, for many centuries, with our forefathers and they have been doing something as well. Now we are attempting to do the same thing and by the way, the problems are the same. Why King Erekle wrote to his envoy in Russia to provide military support and at the same time he was not sure whether this was the correct step or not. He knew something for sure – such a small country and its economy badly needed the supporter.

And Agha Mohammad Khan wrote to Erekle, not to make alliance with Russia, he offered his support. While Erekle was seeking for the third way and we are seeking this third way even today and it seems that we have found it and it seems that we have not. This is the situation in our economics. We always seek for external assistance! We think each time that we start from the very beginning and we do something new but mostly these are old things. Though we always start and seek.

All smokers intend to give up smoking from Monday and forget their intentions by Saturday. All fat people intend to start dieting from Monday. This is some Monday syndrome. We intend to start everything from Monday, which Monday, this is the question. And these Mondays never end, we start but never finish.

We always have some hindering factors, sometimes these are Persians, sometimes – Turks and sometimes – Russians; sometimes we claim that the Europeans do not care about us. We still seek the external causes and wait for the Monday. This is the main problem - 256 -

– Monday and nothing can help, except for cancellation of Mondays!

We commence the reforms from the top and before they reach the bottom we forget about them and start again. This is the case with education reform as well – we have started many times and it turned out that we have start again from the very beginning.

Finally, we have the situation where only 35.000 people desire to receive higher education while there are 37.000 places, even if we take young people from the streets, we cannot fill the reformed universities. Among 400.000 unemployed one could not find even 400 professionals and we desire that the others educated out children.

Again, the “others” interrupt us, we believe that the others will be kind to us, while world has its own interests and they are quite pragmatic ones, unlike us, the emotions never influence them.

We started economic reforms and abandoned them. We called reforms the cancelations, simplified something, left something unfinished and remained to wait for Monday and seek the third way.

We have changed the tax code while the instructions were left unchanged and this way, we are half way again and the main cause is Monday! This is like Churchill said, for whole week we are making plans and later we have to offer excuses for another week for non-fulfillment of these plans.

No, we have to cancel this Monday and third way theory. There are two ways: to the east and the west and there is no chance to arrange the east below the waist and the west above the waist. They do not want our chest, they want everything.

If there is no Monday, we shall not make the promises and immediately start to act. Instead of introducing of the school wardens’ institute and turning the schools into the open institutions similar - 257 -

to the prisons, we shall directly make the children and students to study. Initially we identify what should be transformed in the economy and further make such transformations and go to the end.

Thus, if we cancel Monday, we’ll do better. Anyway, it is a heavy day and it serves right!

April 2010

ELECTIONS AND COMMUNISM My god, what a wonderful month is May – the Earth flourishes, the peach branches with colored flowers sway and people’s hearts open up in vivid expectation of miracle, the passions are high awaiting for the fairy tale. It is so beautiful, the Mother Nature, erupting like the volcano of Island and humans, high and as weak as a man in love. Even light touch of frost and wind may leave only buds and pollen on them, brought by the bees with great efforts.

Looking on this, one is ready to believe in the fairy tales and whisper of May breeze, trembling of the leaves and romantic oaths sound like beautiful music. Oh yes, we have forgot about a new participant of this beautiful morning – Georgian voter, listening longingly and with great pleasure to the promises of party leaders, how they intend to return to them the lost bank deposits, supply water for free, while costs for this exceed GEL 80 million, as well as free natural gas, electricity, how they intend to create new jobs, provide favorable medical services and so on. No, this is really fantastic, like love promises, everything before sex! They promise everything and what is most important it has a beautiful name – not spring but economic program. Something is new and something has already commenced, while so many things are to be done, some things are even taken from Marx’s ideas. We are not able to leave poor Marx - 258 -

even in his grave while we scold him every day (as though he cares about this, he lies there in the center of London and sleeps quietly). But just listen to the commercials and look more carefully to the amazing May programs. You will recall Marx’s “a spectre is haunting Georgia, the spectre of Communism”! In June we shall be on the moon, but it is so good to hear – everything will be free, all problems will be dealt with and only one thing will be left – to enjoy our lives.

It is really May! But the hum of bees is replaced with the screaming of the politicians and they collectively, simultaneously swear that they love us!

While entire Europe is expecting crisis with fear and trembling, like the apricot flower of frost or left lover in rainy Tbilisi, we are building communism! What one can tell to people, it is spring, time of miracles and perhaps they believe, just till June. And how one cannot believe in what was said in the name of democracy and absolutely and excessively democratic elections. Indeed, there is something common between the communism, absolutely democratic elections and election promises. I can recall Guram Rcheulishvili – “the truth is like a nape, we know where it is but we an never see it”. Yes ... we can never see either communism or absolutely democratic elections and fulfillment of the promises.

The promises and peach flowers have something common – both of them disappear in May, no peach flowers will appear before the next May and no promises will appear before the next elections!

The same is with love - the ears are pleased to hear! Especially in May, when everything flourishes, trembles and heart is full of miraculous hopes, even self-deception is good in May! It is hard not to enjoy Galaktioni, May and love; similarly with the elections, it is some kind of love, love to fight for the interests of the people, - 259 -

worker masses and advanced intelligent people.

The main thing is how it sounds, whether it looks like the singing of birds, it is easy to write the economic programs, one has just to open Marx’s book and there it is, everything is written there!

Yes, you have to remember to emphasize eternity in love and democracy in the election programs!

I wish you happy May and sweet tales, as well as coming true of all your dreams, before the next spring comes!

May, 2010

WHO SUPPORTS US, OR STORY ABOUT IMMIGRANT GEORGIA AND REMAINED GEORGIANS Terrible heat and fall of lari rate attached Georgia this summer!

It is the boom of economic theory boom! There are many questions about climate changes and economic problems! World cannot understand, whether the climate became warmer or colder?! Does the temperature grow or fall?! Someone has even mentioned that climate change problem was invented to make money at international level. They say also that these financial bubble and crisis were arranged to redistribute the world without any war! So, in this heat, one can hear variety of rumors but the main thing is the answer to the question. The scientists can explain the phenomena based on the objective laws but the questions are left without answers yet! For example, how the exchange rate of lari to US dollar is established and whether there is the guarantee that the June events would not occur again tomorrow or the day after tomorrow and lari will not fall, where the currency flows come from to improve the exchange rate etc.

Surprisingly, the analysis showed that the flow of currency - 260 -

comes to Georgia from the emigrants – migrant Georgians remit almost one billion US dollars to Georgia every year. Amazingly, this is much more than country’s total revenues from export, as most part of the sectors oriented to production of export goods are created by foreign investments and the most part of the currency incomes go to the countries from where these companies are. For example, most part of the Madneuli revenues go to Russia and this does not strengthen lari! This is made specially, based on thorough scientific researches. As a result it became clear that proud and stable lari is not beneficial for the export-oriented enterprises.

According to the theory, perhaps, this is not beneficial for the commercial banks as well as most loans are issued in US dollars while their balance sheets are in lari. They improve their balances and dynamic indices and issue less loans, thus decreasing the risks!

Absurd? Not at all! This is a new, modernist theory in economics called magic numbers – or there is and at the same time, there is not! For example, if over 60 per cent of budget revenues is gained from import taxation and most part of the invoices is in US dollars, 20% fall of lari exchange rate would significantly increase the revenues. But this can boost up the prices and lead to inflation. This is even better, we shall tell the department of statistics and it will underestimate the inflation rate! Thus, it turns out that even inflation is useful – it simply depends!

Now the economic theory is a real mess! Thus, who strengthens lari? – The refugees, immigrant Georgians do! Migration from Georgia is not bad at all – moreover, it is patriotic. Now, imagine, one million Georgians have left Georgia and remit one billion and if we send one more million Georgians abroad, they will remit two billions in average and ... and people are employed, they will even improve their qualification. Hence, we should elaborate a new eco- 261 -

nomic doctrine – all abroad!

It is cool! A country does not need the investments or investment climate! The only investment will be increase of number of Georgians! And the sexual act will be the most important production process. Thus the country would flourish; this is the point of the modernist economic theory! One detail only – Georgians love their country and they don’t want to leave. Therefore, we have to force them to leave ... and how? – By poor life conditions and unemployment – taxes at the level of Switzerland and incomes at the level of Ghana. This is so cool! For this situation the 20% unemployment rate and at least 60% self-employment rate are required!

Such key targets are easy to achieve. We shall employ people who stay in Georgia in tourism, we shall have no factories and enterprises at all and even climate changes and air pollution will not bother us!

We shall be where there are jobs in the world and make our country flourish. In relation with this doctrine I recall an old funny story: One Russian asks another – just theoretically, imagine that all vodka in Russia disappears, what would happen? After long theoretical discussions the other Russian said – nothing in the world disappear fully, if vodka disappears here, it will appear in other place and Russian will be there (can you now understand, why Russians have conquered Caucasus full of chacha vodka?)> And we shall do the same, Georgians will go to where there are cheap jobs, but whether Georgia would exist then, it is unclear! Some fool may ask, what we need such flourished Georgia for, if 2 million Georgians live abroad? We need it to please the eyesight of the whole world!

What is more important, we or Georgia with stable currency? Yes ... one should think about this carefully. At one glance such economic may seem complex and cruel but it has the noble and global - 262 -

purpose. Our native land will be a flourishing oasis and we shall visit it as tourists, from the warm countries to cool ourselves with the rain in Chakvi, to please ourselves with the beautiful sights and stable lari. Thus, lari is not endangered. And we? I don’t know what about us! Maybe you do or any other economic doctrine?

June 2010

WE ARE AHEAD OF OUR TIME AND ACCOMPLISH A MIRACLE At last, the bad time when Georgians were behind of all and were late always and everywhere has ended (Tokyo incident was the exclusion and the last case). Moreover, we are ahead of time.

You don’t believe? Here are the facts: do you remember that the flights at Tbilisi Airport were always delayed? When the tourists bored of terrible smell, with the dull faces and wet and red eyes as though they had a pepper in their throats, begging the girl sitting at the help desk and looking like a Gucci model, the most popular person in the hall to say, when they will leave? And this time is ended in our country, the planes depart in time and moreover, they can even start before the scheduled time... Not in time, like the whole civilized world, but ahead of time. Don’t you believe?

Yes, it is hard to believe in good things! The best example occurred this year, on the Day of Godmother. Airzena has made great present to its passengers. Instead of 9 AM, as set out in the tickets, the plane departed 45 minutes ahead and those, who came to the airport in time, have lost their chance and they were left at home!

So, we are ahead of time, now, in our country, the airplanes leave the airports not at scheduled time but earlier! This is very good for tourism development! That’s why the price of Airzena’s tickets is - 263 -

two times higher and it is not surprising, generally, the innovations are expensive! As they told to our reporter, at Airzena’s press center, they intend to improve this record based on nanotechnologies and patience of the Georgians and introduce new forms of being ahead of time. For example, time for the new flights will be set similar to TV show “Intuition”, with the title: “Guess when we start”! Airzena intends to get international patent for this invention and sell it as know-how. The new method was very appreciated in the countries of south and equatorial Africa and we hope that the agreement will be signed soon!

In late September, international business community was very impressed by the information that the end of month could be regarded as the end of recession. The key indices have increased, the prices and economies have grown and so on. Recession has ended in the US economy as well and therefore, Obama’s economic advisor and initiator of the reforms has left his post – he went home with the feeling that he has fulfilled his duties and he had nothing more to do. Why are they so glad? In Georgia this process has ended much earlier – we have ended recession in the beginning of the year – we have put the end to it and again, we are ahead of time!

But there was no international resonance. You know, a small country would never have a chance to be advertised by “Bloomberg” and they are a bit jealous as well, and they did not emphasize this fact. But we know, we are ahead of time, don’t we? Their stock exchanges are overloaded and each case of growth causes excitement, as there are too many companies enlisted, while in our country there are only two companies enlisted at the stock exchange – Bank of Georgia and People’s Bank. That’s why they say that Lado Gurgenidze is a part-time president of the stock exchange. This is the reason why NASDAQ refused to enter into Georgia – what can we - 264 -

do at the stock exchange where there is Lado, they are ahead of time while we still trade in real time!

We added a new load to the time, it became an economic category and the main creator of GDP. Therefore, our GDP growth comprises 6%, this is a significant know how, it is easy to record statistically, only stop-watch is required. Though we have too much time, much more than even dead man, but we are ahead of it and we can control it! We desire to share this experience with the foreign countries and make it a source of export revenues, cool!

In the 21st century, the classical economic theories turn upside down, it is the age of innovations now, including the time innovations and therefore, we are in a hurry and we are ahead of time; we have replaced the old proverb “haste makes waste”, now we use “no haste, no success!” Let’s be ahead of time!

July 2010

RE-EXPORT OF RUSSIAN WOMEN AND IMPORT OF RUSSIAN WIVES http://www.regnum.ru/news/fd-abroad/abxazia/1337004.html#ixzz13Hqq16mx I was sure that in the 21st century there would be a revolution in the economic theory but I could not imagine that the export-import structure and the balance of payments were changed so dramatically. Recently I worked on the economic situation in Abkhazia and opened the portal, perhaps, the official one: www.abkhazia. com and I was astonished as among the strategic export resources I have found two new details – one item in the export economy – Russian women and Russian wives... Maybe it would be better to write “re-export of Russian women and import of Russian wives”, as these goods move at the customs in different modes, but on the - 265 -

other hand, there were no such goods in the harmonized system of the goods nomenclature before, perhaps, they were imported in a new mode. Or, Russia regards that there is no Abkhazia, there is only Sokhumi Province and it should not be the party of a foreign country. Though, it is not surprising as at one of the portals I read: Sverdlovsk Region and Abkhazia have signed the agreement on cooperation! Cool! What could be said? A province makes agreement with the other province. I like Russian approach, if its province makes agreement with Georgian province, as the respective part of the foreign country. But if one of its provinces makes agreement with the other one, the Abkhazians should be at a loss, together with the Georgians.

When I was young, this export item was considered not as re-export, it was called prostitution business and human trafficking though I cannot recall the name of export & import of wives. And generally, this is either economic term or Russian-political one and it is Russification.

Please, we offer cheap Russian wives, CIF conditions, or in the temporary import mode. Though, perhaps, the item of Russian women has always been in the tourist potential, but it was not regarded formally as an economic category. Maybe this is a new paradigm of 21st century! Generally, this is an interesting new idea.

People may do strange things in crisis - they can even export their wives. Abilities of the economy are really unlimited and huge. Simply, there are so many new things that there are many questions.

For example, correlation with the monetary policies and inflation, compliance with WTO regulations and GAAT provisions, relation with the law on competition and demographic issues as this is almost non-waste industry.

Overall, perhaps this is a good item for export or import, depending on approach.

September 2010 - 266 -

VAT CONTENT IN KHACHAPURI WITH MILLET AND PARAMETERS OF THE EDGEWORTH BOX FOR THE NEW YEAR FEAST – UNSEEN COMPETITION I thought about what to say to my readers this New Year. How we have gone through 365 days, 8760 hours, 525600 minutes, suffered pain and difficulties, how many senseless or crazy things we have done and how many of them we shall do in the next 365 days.

Or, maybe, we should discuss nuclear explosion of the widely appreciated buckwheat prices, together with the piglet and garlic! But you will discuss this without me at your kitchens and I am sure, you will discuss this at the New Year parties as well. Just recently, I had a foreign quest and I invited him to Radisson Sas restaurant.

They brought the menu. We looked at the prices and made the order. No one has warned us that this was a new style restaurant.

Yes, I am not kidding, an Italian one, but with a new tax education conception. In the bill they have brought, there was written the price of supper, further the tax and subtotal and further the total.

Do you understand? When you eat, you should know the amount of VAT, income or excise taxes in the price of your khachapuri or steak... People can get used to the tax code more easily, in this way. So, we have to invite the students and small entrepreneurs to Radisson Sas for training. And why not? Just imagine, when having the chicken, both legs – VAT (that’s why I don’t like either chicken legs or VAT), further, pope’s nose – income tax, chicken breast – excise tax and only wings are for profit and its tax. That’s why this chicken is so thin and small. Before we eat so senselessly and that’s why we were so dark and ignorant. Now you can ask your friend to give you VAT in sauce, or piglet excise and so you can easily remember everything about tax code and calculations at the feast.

This economic phenomenon has another aspect as well – spending - 267 -

more time at the table, you can look at the bill and see with the patriotic pride, how many you contribute to the country’s budget and feeding of the starving. And you will have better appetite and be more proud, when you realize that you are not eating alone, you are feeding the country and the extent is specified in the bill, in the item “taxes”. This economic trend has a new name – supper-training and feast – tax school and the fan club is created as well and it intends to widely introduce this know-how at the other wellknown restaurants.

By the way, just recently, I was at the restaurant in Svaneti and when they brought the bill, we saw that they have missed not only the amount of taxes but also prices of kubdari and khachapuri with millet. When we told them about this, they said that this was not a problem and that the tourism brought pleasure to the mountainous area. But we have to introduce a new school in Svaneti. They should learn, what the VAT share in khachapuri price is. This is inevitable.

By the way, there is announced formal award – GEL 50.000 for calculation of VAT share in the piglet, khachapuri and satsivi. And Radisson Sas will award the winner. If you find out, which piece of food was for VAT and what is the relation of all these with the Edgeworth box, you will win the grand prix!

Yes, I am kidding, whole life is kidding, except for the taxes and beyond the actual parameters of Edgeworth box.

December 2010

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WHAT WAS THE HARM TO HEGEL DUE TO LACK OF KNOWLEDGE IN GEORGIAN TAX CODE “Nothing is eternal under the moon, except for the idea about the eternity” Hegel I know for sure, you missed me and frankly, I missed you as well! Winter is ending and soon the frost and cold will leave us and the nature and mood will change, as it always happens! Only some economic postulates will remain unchanged and this is not because Hegel was not a genius or because there was some new discovery in the contemporary natural sciences about development of the world, no, he simply was unaware in Georgian Tax Code and moreover, he could not know the subordinated normative acts.

And he has lost much - the theory of world cognizing will not be full without this, as well as Hegel’s theory of objective mind. Really, studying this theory, when I was a student, I thought that it lacks something and now I understand, it lacks perception of the tax code in time and space. If he has seen this code, he would understand that everything changes, with the exception of the sizes of operations to be included into the costs!

Ehh... who knows, how many tax codes, parliaments and governments have changed one another, everything changes, the generations cannot be seen anymore, at the horizon, even the climate has changed and even me! But not these subordinated normative acts! Now, if you have assignment to Batumi or Mestia, you can spend only GEL 15 for accommodation, transport and food, any excessive amount is subject to taxation! Don’t you believe? You can just look at this document, or wait for the scheduled revision. Maybe, if you limit your food with cheap pies and tea in Batumi, you - 269 -

can comply with this limit, but will you survive this? If you want to taste kubdari and Adjarian khachapuri, this has nothing common with business. Perhaps, the representatives of business should be hungry, regarding the principle that the hungry people have built this country! If they could do what they want, they would go from one restaurant to the other and further these restaurants will make much money and their owners will become unlucky.

One can think this way. Or they can spend everything they have earned when they are at their assignments, you know the Georgians and they will maintain nothing to impose taxes or to take home. So we care about business. If they desire to have roast meat, with doubled prices, due to inflation, let them pay VAT and generally, it is time that business started dieting and took more care about accumulations and taxes! The same could be said about the hotels. New hotels are built in Batumi and Mestia and they are not intended for Georgian businessmen. They cannot record their expenditures. There, in the holy instructions, there is written that the costs should correspond to the average level hotel prices, without specifying exactly the meaning, whether these are Sheraton, Radisson or Sanapiro? Therefore, one can regard as average anything he likes, for example, the cottages in Kvariati, frequently more expensive that Intourist Palace. And what about the fuel costs? Oh, this is really crazy! I can recall the soviet waybills, as though we have returned to there. You have to provide detailed description of the vehicle, with the engine capacity, engine thrust, mileage, direction, stating for what you have traveled and what results were obtained!

And this is right! I know the businessmen, who dive to meet their friends, they even take their mothers in law to the market!

Oh, I have lied, there are no more markets ... I have forgotten, to the supermarkets.

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Fuel costs are the enemies of the budget and they require serious control, irrespective that the vehicles must be fuelled formally, with the invoice and in a form approved by the vendor. So, if we don’t help Georgian business, they will not be able to control their money and overpay for the fuel! They could not learn now to control their assets and they need state control in their business.

Things went on so, from the time of communists and later, in the transition period. Yes, but now, at a time of extensive reforms, I could not expect that we could shale Hegel and leave unchanged the eternal postulates! Corrosion and rust affect everything, even the heat in love and what about this?

Perhaps Hegel could not understand the paradigms of world development, there are some holy things that never change – tax code and complex instructions.

January/February 2011

HOW WE DISOBEY EUROPE AND WHY GEORGIA CAN NOT RECEIVE THE SCHOOL LEAVING CERTIFICATE Though we are adolescents (Georgians are implied) and we have serious “teen syndrome” we do not want to study and pass the European integration exam. But we permanently declare that we move towards the Europe and approach Europe within the scopes of the Neighborhood Program and Eastern Partnership but it seems that we never do our homework. Therefore, Europe is angry with us and it is monishing us. Ah, sorry, I am nervous and I speak not very clearly. But it would be surprising, if I spoke clearly. So, what all this is about? It is about European integration, i.e. integration of Georgia with the Europe. What we need it for? To sell Sulguni of - 271 -

Obuja and greens from Opshkviti in Amsterdam streets and open branches of the restaurant “Shemoikhede Genatsvale” near Bastille and receive there what we cannot get here, or vice versa!

Here are many dark labyrinths. Though supposedly, past year the secret strategy for European integration was developed, specifying, as they say, what where and when, Europe, also treating this significant document as a secret one, is not satisfied and our examination center has changed its tone. They are not satisfied with implementation of the food safety law, as well as the pace of amending of the laws on competition, reformation of the Statistics Department, disintegration of the system of technical regulations and standardization, labor legislation, as well as protection of intellectual property etc.

Yes... We cannot receive the school leaving certificate in this way. What strategy could help, perhaps, we have never been so far from the Europe. Or tell us, please, what was the strategy you have written, maybe we have something to say about this, otherwise, we are excessively bothered of the European notes. We import to the Europe only 28 of the 7200 thousand-item list of the preferential goods and only 3 of these goods are basically the real ones.

Yes, they give us the preference buy what we need them for? We cannot use them and frequently we don’t know about them. One of the representatives of the Ministry of Economics said: yes, we have taken the hazelnut producers and winemakers to the USA and explained to them what does GDP means there.

You could not explain this to them in Ozurgeti? What you have spent so much money for? And the Europeans got angry because Georgians have traveled so much and now they look black upon us.

If one asks the Georgian party, they say that they will fully implement the food quality and safety law, no low quality food will - 272 -

be produced in Georgia anymore and the cervelat sausages will cost GEL 4 instead of GEL 1. And instead of such price increase, it would be better if people eat cheap and low quality food, anyway, they have got used and they are satisfied.

If we change the labor laws – they said – the labor costs will increase, workers will demand protection of their rights, the investors will go away and standardization will kill business and Georgian industry. We like everything extraordinary and non-standard.

What one can say? The logic is perfect. What does the Europe want us to do? Maybe we don’t want to accelerate European integration?

Yes, we want the grants and we don’t want European integration yet. Yes, we have a wonderful strategy, and therefore, we attempt that the enemies could not see our secrets and put an evil eye upon it. In addition, Europe does not pay well for this integration, it wants to decoy these angel-like Georgians into Europe with ots developed economy, while USA pays 90 millions for this. Yes, we are the Europe but what can we do with our ideas?!

And generally, why we should obey to the Europe? Let it obey us and let them give us time! We have written the strategy, further we shall start researches and gain couple of grants, further we shall conduct the analysis and workshops, somewhere in New Zealand, no, Argentina or Brazil would be even better, the peaceful place, with joyful people. And we shall discuss fiercely the significant issues. Of course, in absolute secrecy – it turned out that this is the requirement of the Europeans. Then we shall discuss the main framework of free trade and so on... slowly and step by step. Maybe the Europeans don’t know Georgian proverb – “haste makes waste”!

We fight like the upper-form pupils and our angry parents attempt to teach us the program of 5 years of 50 subjects in 5 months, before the school exams and they don’t know how to inject in our - 273 -

small heads so many formulas, dates and rules. No, at this stage, we will be left without school leaving certificate and that’s all right, this would be a relief for us and for the Europe ...

Christ has risen!

March 2011

WHY SMITH, MARX AND LINCOLN HAVE FOUND THEMSELVES AT THE URGENT ASSISTANCE DEPARTMENT OF THE REPUBLIC HOSPITAL TOGETHER WITH GIGI Just recently I had a dream, there was Smith, he had got his arm broken and Marx, dressed in white coat, attempted to make bandage, soured told him – they said that this hand was to be invisible, but the fracture is quite visible and clear. In the corner there was sitting Abraham Lincoln with the open wound, after the shot made one and half centuries ago and cried.

Lincoln’s birthday is on 12 February, I wanted to wish him happy birthday and ask him to sign autograph, the greatest politician of all times, as, in my opinion, he has created not only the contemporary America, but the entire world, to certain extent, as after the civil war the USA has rapidly transformed into the industrial country, from the agrarian one and the new horizon of freedom gave birth to the American eternal movement and gravity – aspiration to the free market and business. That’s why over 16.000 books were written about this person. No, don’t be afraid, I am not going to write one ore book. I know, this issue is indeed great and I cannot assess it. Simply I wanted to express my respect and get his autograph on the five-dollar note with his portray (oh, this five is everywhere) and for the entire January I have been visiting the Urgent Assistance Department as Gigi was wounded (my relative - 274 -

child, no, he has nothing common with the economic theories and politics. I would say, he is closer to Othello and Shakespeare). I have got significant experience of delivery of the medicines and supplies, making bandages and so one, briefly – caring of the sick. It is fantastic, you come to the Urgent Department, pay GEL 500 and that’s all. And further, you can bring there anything you like, at your own account – blankets, medicines, supplies. You can take all these freely, they never intervene, because they have no any such things, but it is still cool – they have good beds for GEL 500. This is briefly, about healthcare and market economy...

Let’s turn back to my dream. Lincoln was so worried and he cried so bitterly that I stopped astonished with mu 5-dollar note. I thought that the wound was painful for him but when I came closer and listened more carefully, I found that he cried about the fate of today’s capitalism and worried about the yokes of free market and current confusion at the world market. He said, if the words of this barbate Marx about capitalism come true, I shall shoot myself once again and brake the other visible hand of Smith.

It was indeed terrible to see this disappointed giant and I got off this terrible hospital. Fear of apocalypse awoke me. I looked at Tbilisi streets covered with the downy white blanket of snow.

Everything was so peaceful and pure that one could not make even a step. Winter and frost surrounded me. I realized that this was a nightmare and everything was quiet – neither this volatile market & financial world bothered us and no invisible hand was there.

Frankly, we have not ever seen the Marxist socialism as well. It’s so good that nothing affects us – I thought, scared of the nightmare and what I saw? I had a five-dollar bill in my hand, Abraham Lincoln...

Suddenly, my blackberry screamed with terrible sound, tell- 275 -

ing that I have a new message so early this morning. I opened it.

I wanted to think about something pleasant – never mind, what is going on there, “nothing ever affects” us in Georgia.

The letter was from Financial Times. Martin Wolf wrote: The shocks inflicted on the world by the upheavals of the past few years make a thoroughgoing overhaul urgent. I was so stressed – he was again asking the terrible question about the future of capitalism and gave loud answers to the questions about financial-economic crisis, whether the crisis would repeat, weak regulation; imbalance between the population strata, better protection of the consumers’ interests; dictate of the managers at the 21st century joint stock companies and only formal rights of the owners; taxes and their distribution among different areas require improvement (though, I, personally, doubt that this would solve the problem of Edgewrth box (See magazine “Economics of Georgia” 3/2009). And that the finances should be separated from the economy as, in his opinion, all problems come from there and should be strictly controlled. And finally the happy end conclusion that irrespective of all gaps the capitalism has no alternative and it is best thing of all created by the mankind!

Ooh!.. I was astonished. Now I understood, why Smith’s hand was broken and why Marx was in the role of doctor, what Lincoln worried about – we regulated and suppressed world market so much that the state regulation was brought to the first place, politics and economics have fully and productively merged with one another and their intimate relations have opened. We intervene openly into not only macroeconomics but also into the microeconomics, to gain the political capital, as though we take the huge foreign and domestic loans and lead world’s leading economies into the deadlock to ensure social equality – and we desire to impose more and more - 276 -

taxes to ensure control of the government over the greater amounts of resources, we desire to take more loans. We cannot understand how China or Russia can become the market-economy country by 2016? Or, in general, how it has occurred that western capitalism cannot exist without Chinese socialism?! Whether the free market disappeared or we have ruined it with so many “bail outs”? Whether all this imply that the private business will become the state one?

Poor Smith, I recalled my dream, that’s why is invisible hand was broken by the absolutely visible hand of the state. That’s why Marx was dissatisfied and why Lincoln was worried, as he has left a free country, with the free ideas at the expense of his life and regarded it as a basis for the entire world.

Where the world is going to and why we don’t study the leas, why we desire to explain on the basis of old theories the new phenomena resulting from quantitative changes, technological and mental revolution? Why do we think that regulation, politicization and turning of the entire world into the unified ministry of finances would be a solution? I looked into the window. Tbilisi, covered with snow was still silent. Peaceful Sunday morning was not disturbed even by the cars. There was a TV broadcast Davos meeting.

There was snow as well but everything simmered there. I make voice louder, I thought, maybe they know what is not clear for me and maybe they can answer my questions. I listened and – no, they said nothing new, even the snow. Please, forgive us Smith, breaking of your hand is so painful for as well!

January, 2012

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WORLD HAS CHANGED “Everything has changed and a great age of the history of humanity has finished. And what about us?”

World has changed and it is researching a new content and may be a new form. In generation if you read a Newsweek or Time it was so cool!. I remember we were so interested in each page and each word in magazines and read and read again each comment.

Those magazines were windows to the world for us. And then there was freedom . . . Eltsin’s drunk voyages to the forests of Belorussia and annunciation of independent. Borders were reopened and we could satisfy our overwhelming desires. After that there was internet and digital format.

And now my feelings are the same, when I see magazines in newsvendor’s I cannot control myself and I always buy them with great pleasure in my country and abroad. It’s so strange that this world giant presents that it wants to leave printed media market because it is no more profitable and chooses digital format.

14 years ago when Georgian economy magazine was starting up there were no other magazines in Georgia. Sarke magazine started only after 6 months and we were oriented to Newsweek, Time and The Economist. We tried and dreamed to keep step with world and European and American values. I and my friends did our best to do this and to improve economic and political culture in Georgia.

And now they are leaving printed media market. A world age has finished.

I remember 1986. I was a young laboratory assistant then and Mr. Rezo Koiava started a problem laboratory in University and I and my friend Giga Maisuradze brought computer from the Moscow first time. It was Robotron made in Eastern Germany with Basic and Fortran programs. It was amazing thing that time. Kakha - 278 -

Gogolashvili was working with programming and we were working with economy. When internet appeared it developed too fast and killed the greatest thing of the history of humanity – printing media.

The first Dilling Room was started in 1993 in Sakeksimbank with support of Deutsche Bank and we were so happy when we were opening and closing operations, we were making several transactions a day but nowadays robot can make 4 thousand transactions.

I catch myself that I always keep Kindle Fire in my hand and I read and read books and press. It is a new age!

But we cannot understand is liberal European economy suffering or Chinese becomes more profitable? What are we, Georgians, thinking about? What is our way? Or we are going to nowhere?

Sometimes I think that we are now starting to print magazines and to speak using classic economists’ phrases, we are talking about innovations in economy and no word is important. Everybody knows everything about economy and we are moaning all time of deficiency of economists. Do we know what economy is? Or maybe we are transforming? Or maybe we don’t like to read printing media as well as digital. Classic economy is based on balance conception, equilibrium, competition and access to information. Maybe the most important is theory and chaos and no balance?

I remember a joke: Mikho came to the Office for the Dead and asked: Why the dead man does not wear a tie? Someone answered: Because he did not like it. Oh! But I know that he was not keen on balm but he is embalmed now! – said Mikho. Maybe the world without printing media is not a tragedy?

It is clear: everything has changed and a great age of the history of humanity has finished. And what about us?

October, 2012 - 279 -

TSKALTUBO MOON IS ABSENT, ECONOMY IS OUT It was one Tskaltubo evening. I was guest at Prometheus and was looking into park in front of a house. I was breathing with light radon air so greedily as is somebody was trying to deprive this air in that perfect silence. I looked up, there was an infinite Universe. The moon was run away as electorate that National Party counted and registered, there were only stars in the sky. Maybe the moon has holiday on Tuesdays?!

Maybe the moon has been sequestered as a project of reconstruction of this park?! When looking at stars I remember a joke: Svan was asked: does there somebody live at the moon? Svan answered: I know exactly that somebody live at the moon because there is light in his house. I think cleaning charge is different there and is not so expensive. Leaves were asleep and nature too. And birds were flown away as deputies that were playing poker in a hall of the hotel, and were so noisy with their 50-cent counters and were disturbing Prometheus. TV was announcing: head of FBI had sent anonymous letters from women and when is became known he went out. That women applied to FBI agent who liked that woman and on her hand she found out that woman liked general of forces in Afghanistan and they had wrote to each other about 20 000 letters (I remember Stendhal). Can you imagine?! That general wrote a lot of letters in Afghanistan. He was waiting to his transfer to Europe, but they did not transferred him because if it become known that a general or somebody else in army has lover or is unfaithful to spouse he or she may be arrested 7000 km. far. Illegal sex is banned strongly, head of FBI was fired.

USA is a wonderful country. Poor people are punished in this country by strange reasons. Poor Petrius and that FBI agent. I’m afraid of that woman. There was silent in Tskaltubo and I had no - 280 -

confidence in FBI that secures the world and Georgia from terrorism and other dangers. As classic Charley says (or my aunt Nargiza should make conclusion) maybe that woman had poisoned everybody, maybe with raven or wolf fat. People said it makes men completely crazy.

Might was hard. Love to Petrius was worrying me. This old Romeo was composing poems but nobody had estimated. 16-17-old teenagers can do everything but if you are 40 – no, you will be punished. It’s so unfair. I remember, 53 years old Soros was marrying 27 years old Angela. Is she Jew? So when crowning the priest asked: Are you agree to marry her, to take care over her during all your life and to share with her your property and your happiness? Soros became blanch with question, he invited his lawyer and asked, what are they asking? Lawyer said: you can say “yes”, Soros said “yes” and added: in Hungarian “not really”. You see, 50 years old men have different thinking and different crowning.

Tskaltubo is sad and there is silent again. Parliament is in fire and I worry about everything – where is the moon . . . or somebody not to pay much for light on the stars. And what about Tskaltubo park and palms there; deputy that loose poker, FBI without Petrium and general loved that woman? But his wife is happy and why are worrying others? I read a book of Soros and I think he did not become a philosopher and did not write theory of reflex. He can’t tell exactly what he thinks. It’s difficult for him. Poor man. Hard night, so many problems. . . Will something turn for the better.

Classic Charley said “happy end” but what ends?

December, 2012

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WHY DID KHORENA BRING TO LIFE MALTUS IN BAKURIANI, WHO HAS BEEN KILLED BY CHICAGO SCHOOL AND HOW LADY GAGA HAS BECOME AN ECONOMIC CATEGORY Wow… we caught our breath! The world is saved, 21st has passed. It costed us only 5.5 point earthquake and as TV Imedi announced beverages were severely destroyed on the market shelves.

What if Devil passed through Anaklia and when he saw these “expensive” beverages greed prevailed upon him and he sold the soul to another Devil, drank it and had a spicy Megrelian Kupati (sausages) that even the Devil can make thirsty. The Devil became so drunk that he even forgot why he came to the earth in the end of December month.

That’s why so painlessly have passed 21st and 22nd of December.

Thus the Devil’s mission remained impossible. Georgia has rescued the humanity. Of Course?! What cannot come to the Megrelian mind and keen camera of TV Imedi has not missed this. However, all in vain, who appreciates this at home or outside? In this fostered Anaklia, Kvareli and everywhere caws are strolling. It seems that due to exactly and reasonably conducted agrarian reform they have bred and even appeared in beau monde and became bolder. They do not hide their views or lifestyle. Uh… that’s right! They are going to stay on this territory for a long time. They have tasted the taste of democracy and failure of dictatorship. The times when caws where locked in four walls are over! Now they are walking in the Training Centre of Justice until reorganization is being conducted at Agrarian University or there is a deficit of tourists in Anaklia. Artificially as if big money was spent on keeping of tourists, while caws can give us at least the milk and we can make Sulguni cheese – not virtual, but real one. There is a risk that if a caw becomes so educated - 282 -

that it establishes non-governmental organizations protecting the rights of caws! Then we will have things to worry about, you want to pen the cattle the caws are shouting about pressure or you want to milk the caw and they are shouting about – rape! This limitless democracy is very dangerous. Who would do or think about it before?! – nobody – that’s the thing! We wanted to employ people and instead we employed caws. People still remain unemployed.

It’s pity, none of the representatives of foreign media appreciated or broadcasted this. Neither have the foreign politicians appreciated our dedication – this is the thing to worry about. Nobody has even posted it to Facebook. Facebook has 50 million members all over the world (they evaluate this) and 25 million of them are fans of Lady Gaga (this too). Imagine if she runs for US presidency, she wins the elections without any problem. Will not she? Why not, if Klichko did why Gaga should not? The world has changed so much, the Devil changed his mind of destroyed us, he became pity of us.

Politics always was a theatre, but of politicians and not of absurd and it had its own game rules. Now the country belongs to Gaga and her plastic tits. People have tits like a wax, natural and man does not want them, they are crazy of Gaga’s artificial ones and spent millions of dollars. She cannot even sing normally, only to shout like a monkey. But, who cares, she is enlarging GDP. Economy of 21st century is set in different paradigms. Real sector of economy went to shadow, computers and special effects have conquered the world and economic market. Economic growth depends on it.

Economic School of Chicago find it difficult to recognize this, but this is so. Digital-virtual world is decisive here. They are measuring whole world except of India with Big-Mac index in vain, in India it’s called Maharaja index, while in Georgia its Jonjoli (bladder nut) index (Misha Jibuti “implemented” it). It appears that Switzerland - 283 -

is eating the most expensive Big-Mac, while India does the cheapest one, nothing to say about us.

And what is most important the world is equal in terms of currency exchange rate, this is the only field where equality exists (just like snow covered Bakuriani forests – every tree is equal towards the frost), the rest is total unfairness. It is difficult to apprehend electronic goods as an economic category. Though it is a fact. It is also a part of the show, but it’s a fact – one should not build a factory, but one should bring up Gaga. So, Georgian stars are falling at the TV screens! Have you understood the essence of economic politics? They will save Georgia – 16 years old hackers and TV stars. If we bring up ten Gagas and ten Zuckerbergs … our economic growth makes up 12-15% and the country is saved. That’s why according to politicians economic plan and program is necessary.

Moreover, the scientists are shouting – we have defeated Malthus!

Yes, of course he would have been defeated, we were fighting with him over three centuries, even more than Crusaders were conquering Jerusalem and who has defeated Malthus? – Of course Gaga, and Zuckerberg together with Steve Jobs. We don’t need cohabitation here, this is not a good job. Cohabitation of Saladin and King of England, Brave Heart had a good result. This was first example of cohabitation and it lasted 5 years and ended with crash of Christians. After that Christians are allergic to this term.

Wow, what a New 2012 year. We avoided bloodshed in the country, the collapse of the world, but could not survive cohabitation.

Not a bad result. No dreams came true? – Give us some time, New Year’s Eve is still awaiting. And now we take care of everything along with Santa Claus, the New Year is a time for dreams!

The color of the sky and the earth is the same. It’s snowing mercilessly. Heaven and earth are satisfied – the sky got rid of the snow, - 284 -

the earth receives it and puts on a cloak. The earth is horrible to see, like Gaga without make-up. Quietly standing trees with their bowed heads, as if they have also learned about the defeat Malthus and they became sorry.

Here, the story of changing world has reached the world of silence, mountains of Bakuriani. Cows do not appear here, as the Ministry of Justice Education Center is not built here. What can one say, here nobody has ever believed the collapse of the world, not a global warming myth. Here everything has its dreams snow as well as fir trees and snow covered land, and they are waiting for NEW YEAR. And, a question – how the economy grows – the language of the local people so it sounds: How to increase snow cover. Bearded Khorena is standing there (more precisely, as ACC might say, a beard like a moss) with wrinkled face and dreaming of the snow to ride its iron horse – snowmobile and earn some money to keep his family cheerfully locked up in cold Abastumani. Malthus is still alive here and well Smith with his invisible hand is still respected. They do not care about the opinion of the scientist of Chicago school, because everyone has their own dream. I recalled a joke, the Svan wanted to be Santa Claus and named his grandson Snow!

Each of us need to take 2013 steps towards the dream, nothing will come of itself, even the snow. Khorena’s Prayers brought the snow so that not to remain unemployed.

He brought back the dream and also embodied Malthus, he is struggling for survival, because he knows that wishing are many bounty is small. This caw also knows this, this territory belonged to it before they built something there, the caws were freely eating ecologically clean, excise-tax free grass, (they did not managed, otherwise they would also impose excise tax on grass from January - 285 -

1; who would dare to say no, if they were going to do the same with Nabeglavi and Borjomi). Khorena does not believe we would bring up Gaga and Zuckerberg either and that’s why he cuts the wood, cleans the road and snowmobiles. That’s why he is looking up to the sky and fondles every snowflake like a Kakhetian peasants his cluster. Sometimes he looks towards Kokhta and Didveli – checks the thickness of snow cover, if you ask him, all white are not white, everyone has their own truth, but his truth is that: warmth at home, food in the pot, decorated Christmas tree and happy family. Khorena takes care of his home, thus he is taking care of the country. He does not know the GDP, but he contributes to its growth devotedly. He know nothing of Malthus, but he blows and gives life to him.

For a long time I was watching the sky, Kokhta and Didveli covered with white cloak, white fir trees or fine trees, nature whim like a wife and I understood Khorena brings New Year and embodiment of dreams too! He is aware of market and the competition, he knows he cannot work on two snowmobiles as much as he physically cannot do it and there will be as many snowmobile owners as the market demands. Even he has his little calculations and strategy, though, is not in in Long ran, but the country must have it!

Dream, but do not forget to act!

Happy New Year to you my patient reader pure like a snow in Bakuriani!

January, 2013

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WHAT WE LIKED IN SINGAPORE DO NOT LIKE IN AGMASHENEBELI Over the years, we wanted to be Singapore and Singapore was the main benchmark. Georgians are weird – and I wonder why?

It is a small city – state, of New – York’s size and which gained its formal independence from Britain in 1965, its composed of only port, swine farms, fishermen villages and houses of rich foreigners.

In 2011, there were 188 000 millionaire apartments. The country of strict dictatorship, governed by the President Lee Kuan Yew from 1965 to 1990 and after that. We liked this I suppose. We liked formal democracy, and the fact that they have strictest laws.

Spitting, chewing a gum is prohibited, there were times when the number of children was managed too, and today, despite 5 – million population, Singapore faces a demographic disaster. Yes, GDP per capita increased from $ 560 to $ 53000 and in 2013 it is the most desirable place in which Asians would like to be born, but living for locals is expensive and very heavy. They learn and work so much that have no time to marry and upbring children. According to experts, there is a catastrophic demographic system in Singapore and soon there will no indigenous population.

So, the president liked Singapore – the idea of eternal power Singapore and at the same time democratic as considered by the West; even though the government has not changed for many decades, even – Obama called Lee a legendary man. In fact, it is a Western and Asian Millionaires Club, harbor of speculative market; offshore, where the modern wealth seekers achieve their goals with teeth and claws.

Muscular, disciplined business – soldiers are fighting every day for amorphous, combined, national, ideals of modern capitalism, and financial survival. This is a real war arena, this is the place for - 287 -

only the richest. There is no spirit or moral, there is only money alone … Dictatorship or democracy – nobody cares about, more important is peace, calm and secured future for capital war.

Singapore is not a country, it’s a brutal world of the beasts and wolves.

Do we have a chance to be Singapore? – Perhaps Laborites have a bigger chance to be elected as the majority party in parliament than us to be Singapore. Did we know? _ Yes, we did. So, what did we want? – We just liked the idea of a rich country, governed by one family and which is called legendary and democratic in the West. Local residents will extinct soon, as said. Well, perhaps, a new ethnos -creation of Singapora should be expected. The main purpose is to breed the “Singapora”, this new man. By the way, humanity has always suffered from this idea, acceptable and easily manageable communities, or experiment of breeding new people.

The first such experiment was started by Spartans in practice and in theory by Plato.

All is Plato’s fault, though harmless philosopher, who created city of good – Atlantis. In fact he was such a villain, that the human race has ever seen. He doomed Misha too. Imagine, in Plato’s Atlantis a society had four layers of tillers, workers, guards and philosophers. They had no right to mix blood and have relationship with each other. There was no private property, including personal. Your wife was anyone’s wife. Children were raised in a boarding facility, like Communists. When a young person became 20-yearold special council of philosophers was assigning them according to their skills. They decided, who would become an artisan, a defender or a philosopher.

Two men … But, they do not ask people? Where is love, feeling, betrayal, dreams? (There’s no need to dream. And why society is - 288 -

needed without dreams?!). Plato under the guise of a man of kindness and caring unilaterally decided the fate of people. It is horrible!

Wanted to breed a new man, then in the 15th – century Utopists attempted the same. In 20ies – the Marxists, Communists in Russia, Jamakhiria in Libya, Mao in China and Misha in Georgia. Generally, every new dictator, was breeding an obedient and disciplined nation acceptable for him, to both Lee in Singapore and Misha in Georgia. Do you see, how he appeared under the influence of Platonism? He loved… not, excuse me, three: Plato, Machiavelli and Lee. He went crazy, dreamed and at night, from Makhata mountain and Shavnabada he talked and realized their ideas in life – the ideas of breeding new man, new society and eternal kindness. More precisely, he wanted to realize them. Everybody was against him, nation, and even David. Who asked this David to take capital from Kutaisi to Tbilisi? If he have not taken it from there this would not have become reason for such quarrels. People are ungrateful and there is no sense of doing much good. They forgave everything to David the Builder, except of taking capital to Tbilisi. Now, they had to invent a new economic theory that is called the neo – Kaynse – Nationalism theory. It is a brand new theory, raw, and its idea is that as long as the financial crisis is wrapped in warm coals like a barbecue on a grill and is looking for new paradigms, the Georgians found formula of overcoming crisis, economic growth and regional development – moving of capital from one city to another and building your own Atlantis or Lazika. That’s it, and the country will prosper. Why, Keynse? Some scientists say these theses are similar to Keynsian multiplier, but research has confirmed that this is the original modern economic theory and nationalist version of Keynsialism. Therefore, every – day this idea becomes more popular in the world.

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Englishmen picked up the idea and they are moving parliament to Edinbara. However, they are saying that they are demolishing this 200 – year-old Big Ben and moving it, soon they do the same with Westminster Abby. So, where to burry respected parliamentarians. The House of Lords is against, but the country needs this and what can they do. David Cameron declared in Davos that Georgian’s theory has saved the people of the United Kingdom and categorically demanded Continental Europe to use this theory as guidance to save economy, otherwise, he would leave the EU. Georgian economists and, in principle, Asian researchers also introduced the authors of the idea for the Nobel Peace Prize in economics. However, this world won’t make anyone happy for a long time. Do not want upbringing of a new man, new multinational super – international – Platonic society with Singapore powder? – You won’t have one. Do not want a new economic theory? – Dream, though, here in the second decade the capital city would become Zugdidi and sometime after even Ozurgeti in Guria. So the country would prosper and become full of jobs about in 200-300 years. As Lela Kakulia said, she sees fallen Russia in about 300 years… We would return Abkhazia, conquer Krasnodar. These Georgians are impatient, real descendants of King David – moved quickly the capital to Tbilisi and kicked out creative Nationals. So, you deserve to live in this overcrowded Tbilisi.

Time comes, when you will be longing for Plato and Singapore, especially when grumbling of your wife drives you crazy and you start to stare at someone else’s wife with watering mouth. Poor, what is better than Singapore and Atlantis, but Georgians have never had brains, and perhaps, never will. They will take their David King’s ideals and freedom to the grave.

Eeh … I wonder, will they at least invite us when they move - 290 -

the capital to Edinbara? The Englishmen are not ungrateful, in the end when they slip Paris to Marseille, I think we do not miss the inauguration, as well as invitation to Stockholm for receipt of the Nobel legacy. Yes, they appreciate it either here or there.

Fabruatu, 2013

PROBLEMS OF MONKEY TRANSFORMATION AND CORRUPTION COMBATING IN THE MODERN IMPUDENCE ART EPOCH Human nature and behavior is indeed an amazing one and it is not true that only the Georgians are strange. World’s leading 20 countries controlling 80% of world’s economy and hence, 80% of the corruption, arranged a meeting in Moscow, in the world’s capital city of corruption and they discussed the issues of combating of corruption. It is unclear, who is going to do this?

Summit in Moscow recalled me a funny story: in the ancient times, the animals arranged a meeting in the forest and the lion was a chairman. He stated that the transformation epoch came to their country (“perestroika”) and the animals were to transform themselves as well. Do you agree? asked the lion. All of them gave their consent, except for the monkey. To the lion’s question, why he was against transformation, the monkey said: “if I transform myself, I shall become a human. When I will be a human, I shall need to get money and I shall need to behave like a monkey to doo this. What is the sense then?”

The same is the situation of Russia, China and other participants.

Therefore, this issue, similar to the currency wars, is a simple twaddle. This is some kind of the war of 21st century. The financiers, bankers and politicians of the world’s largest countries use to meet somewhere in Toronto, or Mexico, or Moscow, have tequila, vodka - 291 -

or whisky, chatter there and go home then.

At the same time, there is an extensive currency war. Ms. Christine Lagarde said in Moscow that she has heard nothing about the currency wars. Japan has slightly weakened the yen exchange rate, but they understood its export problems, USA has weakened dollar and achieved 0.1% economic growth in the last quarter of 2012; China is weakening and weakening its yuan; and does it matter, whether Europe has problems caused by the debts of the European zone countries or by the stable Euros? Just tell me, what else is the currency war? Even China has signed the agreement with the UK Central Bank on sale of options in yuans and it gained the 13th place in the international settlement operations, according to the swift data and weakened the role of dollar as a settlement currency.

No, this is not a war - this is a beginning of Deluge.

Here all fight against all and pretend scared that they cooperate with all. So amazing, all rejects that the currency war exists while the war is so extensive, all fight with the corruption and the corruption flourishes. Like everything other, corruption in the 21st century is super modernized. When I am holding my I-phone-5, or Samsung Galaxy Note-10, I use to think, amazed, how far the technologies have developed?! The similar is the situation with the currency war, recalling the system of golden standards and looking to the current currency system I am astonished to the changes from simple clearing to the today’s Forex. The similar is the situation with the corruption. There is no more place for the common people there, only elite of the large corporations and country’s government participate in corruption. I can recall Saakashvili’s famous phrase: “the corruption is either in the upper strata or it is nowhere”. This is a contemporary, modernized corruption. This is the situation, we reject, we combat and we actually are engaged in it. This is the style of 21st century and the sensation of the centuries – Russia chairs the world assembly on combating corruption. This is like - 292 -

the dictator’s chattering about democracy or Al Capone or Yaponchik fighting against the criminals. Ehh, poor Moliere, where is he, how many fables would he have now?! Though, it is not excluded that his sarcastic heart was unable to stand this situation. Perhaps, strangeness is a illness of humans and – it is either in the upper strata or it is nowhere – this is a recognition. This looks like: “I was killed, grandpa”... And still, I recall Machiavelli, his soul is still feeds the world, all, participating in this farce, I would call Machiavelli the father of impudence and the 21st century – not the age of Apple and Facebook but the age of the modern impudence art driving the world.

Therefore, please, mu readers, never show surprise. I can recall Plato. Socrates attempts to go to the city and his accompanies prevent him. Socrates asked them, how would you prevent me? They answered, look, how many we are, we shall persuade you. Socrates gave the genial answer... “How can you persuade me, if I don’t listen to you?” Perhaps, G20 acts like Socrates. We, ordinary Georgians should act like Socrates as well, when someone attempts to persuade us in their innocence. People are different, maybe this is said about their cloths and internally they are similar, in all times, from Plato till now and all of them are right, including the monkey participating in the forest meeting...

March 2013

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HOW ECONOMIC THEORIES ARE BEING DEMOLISHED TOGETHER WITH GUDAURI-KOBI ROAD AND WHAT ARE THE TALKS AT THE MARKET Strange things happen at Dunai. We cannot understand whether economic crisis is over or not, whether economic laws work or not, whether spring has come or not and have the Nationals gone or not. By the way, as regards economic laws, there is a full hysteria – according to the laws when a currency strengthens, export of that country should decrease, because goods become expensive.

During recent months Euro is totally strong, though German export is increasing and increasing. Inflation rate is high, but despite this investments in China are rising. According to the theory – if GDP or indicator of foreign debt is up to 60% economics is strong and there is no danger, but in Cyprus there were such indicators just before crisis. Well, economic science is muddled, GDP and its accompanying targets are confusing us. Attempt to fashion and formularize economics ended in big failure and thus scientific society cannot understand – is this market economy or not.

It is market economy isn’t it?!

Georgians are confused, we cannot understand what’s better inflation or deflation. We were convinced that inflation is bad and thus we strengthened monetary policy, rode deflation horse and are having fun there. Economy is in big trouble, but we strictly hold on to deflation. That’s right, we restored Bagrati temple, but in a way that not only foreigners, but also we cannot recognize it. At the same time we were unable to restore Kobi-Gudauri road.

We maintain Kobi Gudauri road in the shape as it was when Ilia passed on it. We take care of his footprints, we do not repair the road not to erase Ilias footprints there. We don’t want Tergi to remind us movement theory and we hid it in the tunnel. That - 294 -

serves this restless right. It is such a pain with its movement and movement. Moreover, so that nobody drinks it and brings ideas from Russia we hid it underground. Imagine if we have repaired Kobi-Gudauri road the new generations would not have been able to see how Ilia struggled on his way back home. No, we will restore this part of the road, but so that world’s any architect would be jealous, even Fuxe. As if we have restored it, but still it maintains its initial shape. Restoration of Bagrati reassured us that this is the right method. We have restored it, but at the same time it is not restored. When we restored Bagrati whole world went crazy saying it has lost its initial face. That’s why we maintain its initial form. Here it is – geniality of Georgian nation. Besides this we have changed orientation: as this road leads to Russia, it should be so damaged to prevent us from walking towards Russia intensely.

Even more when moving towards Russia this road should remind us how difficult and dangerous is the road to Russia! If road does not shakes you, melts your brains, mixes your stomach you cannot understand what is a motherland! Maintaining this road this way also has social-economic destination. It ensures full employment of Stepantsminda and its surroundings. Something always happens here. This is what we have to talk about. If due to bad weather the road is blocked, they drag you by tow-rope that costs you 300 laris.

If you hit the car and your tire is cut, but you are still alive, this costs you 700 laris.

For decades this road was feeding local population. The problem is that this road destroys Georgia, as a country in economic transition, but it is marketable for the population of Stepantsminda.

Capitalism has developed there and they exactly know how to earn money in terms of capitalism. That’s why it is a market economy.

Finally, we should find out – what do we want, what do we - 295 -

need to restore and how. We should also find out what the talks at the market are and what works on the basis of free market principle. What’s better unrepaired Kobi-Gudauri road, that truly has appearance of 19th century road, or Bagrati temple with its green roof. What’s better inflation and stimulation of economy or numb economy? There are a lot of things to talk about at the market, aren’t there? But who knows?

April, 2013

WHAT RESEARCH IS FUNDED WITH 17 BILLION BY APPLE? At last, we have seen the sun. Winter ends and we jumped into the summer. What’s surprising? We are studying this year in an accelerated pace – we missed one season. And we did the right thing.

I wonder what was worth of noting in the spring, what could be better than hot rays of the sun. Turtle Lake area was filled, overcrowded. The whole city gathered – some recall the old government bitterly like a taste of wild green plum, some – new.

Life boils there, a thousand things can be heard, people are worried about thousand things and grumbling. Hot rumours are in the air and soft nature of characters of the new TV series is disapproved, some don’t not like game style of “Real”, some minority and some majority.

Meanwhile, the sun stubbornly laughs, I still came and defeated the winter. I recall a joke about it – child is born at maternity hospital, and suddenly starts horse-laughing. Midwife goes mad, doctors say – he should be crying instead of horse laughing. Doctors wonder what’s wrong with him. They see that child’s fist is clenched severely and he does not stop laughing loudly. Mad doctor opens - 296 -

his fists with force… You’ll never guess what’s in his fist- birth control pills, and ironically he continued laughing – I am still born!

The same is with the sun – at least I brought the summer! Every morning I go my way up to the sun and to news. Once, I heard long forgotten, but still very familiar sound from the front of my car. It seemed familiar, but I still could not recall it… shortly I was confused. I could not believe – this rhythmic knocking was of a woodpeckers flirting with the wood or of 8th cylinder of my car. I recalled my childhood: when I refuel with hardly gotten and thousand times raped “93”, the car made so rhythmic “kkkk” that it could deafen everyone. We did not care, as we have paid 5000 Manats for the car and 20 copecks for the fuel. No, I don’t believe, but it’s a fact, it was really knocking and I could really hear the sound of my childhood. Surprised I asked the driver, what gasoline did you supply and where? He told – that he refuelled with premium gasoline in “Gulf” at Kostava street. However, we know that “Super” is not imported in Georgia at all and this “Premium” should be the best. Then we refuelled at Vake-Saburtalo road. Then at Elbakidze down. The same was everywhere. It seems that they have raped this 2.25 Lari gasoline and it is absolutely of no quality.

Imagine, someone has turned this into the norm in Georgia – quality or the amount is not checked. So we are robbing poor Georgian consumers. This appears to be free market economy and liberalism in the field of control.

Due to recession, oil prices in whole world have decreased almost by 30 dollars, thou they stubbornly do not change here and they even supply lower quality fuel. Just like Kaztransgaz, when in January-February they supplied us with such a bad quality gas that maddened counters counted triple amounts, counters, which surprising are covered with cellophanes by Kaztransgaz. I guess they think that counters might catch cold. In fact, it seems that gasoline seller companies and Kaztransgaz doubled their prices and nobody - 297 -

is raising voice about this. During the daylight they are deceiving people, making bad name for new government and nobody punishes them, it’s quite over there.

I raised this issue at the international arena of Turtle’s Lake and received such answer: this is paradigm of new market economy, which is called – everyone is happy. It’s like sex. Consumers think that prices of fuel and gas go down, while actually prices go up for the sellers of fuel and gas. Such a regulation of demand and supply under the conditions of inelastic demand appears to be essence of this new paradigm! You see, how much effort has been put here?!

This is even worse than, you take contraceptive and you are still impregnated.

Chicago School is surprised and has sent experts to Georgia in order to learn this study more perfectly. There was no place at the Turtle Lake and they could not come, soon they will come and study this phenomenon in-depth and then advice to the economy researchers and the president. This was named as the know-how of Silk Road Countries; whole Wall Street is went crazy and Apple is issuing bonds worth of 17 billion for better funding of such researches. So that it could finance this wonder of market economy and then use its spring seedling for strategic development of the company. God bless you! This isn’t a park of Turtle Lake, this is true people’s techno-fin-cult-phis-rumour institution. Moreover, you are conducting experiments on cars, fuel, gas, sun, water, people, you study and at the same time enlighten people. We have surprised the world once again. Georgia is the country of wondersonly here Porsche can run with kerosene and natural gas evaporate diesel fumes while burning. Here, new born child can hold contraceptive in his hands and spring can have a vacation.

God bless this unique country, happy Easter to you!

May, 2013

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UH! DON’T YOU SEE WHERE IS THE HEAD OF ALL THE PROBLEMS?! I.E. ECONOMIC PROBLEMS IN COSMIC PRISM Big, huge moon, glittering in the darkness of mysterious fir trees and shrilling soundtrack of blackbirds was delighting the world.

Somewhere below, under the background of shimmering lights, Tbilisi was deep asleep, seeing the middle of its dream. Singing of blackbirds was some kind of ritual, which was like a cure to Kojori forest witness of many hardships. I listened and it seemed as if trio of blackbirds was singing to the moon.

Or, maybe they were saying prayers? One thing was obvious – their muse or the object of their commendation was that big fat moon. I looked at it too and it seemed that the moon proudly was looking down at me. As if, it emphasized its greatest importance in my and generally in the life of humankind. As if it was obliging us to thank him on the facts proved by the science repeatedly: moon is the largest moon in the galaxy of the sun, it governs tides in the oceans and million years ago the first living creature appeared on the land of the earth due to tides, that due to moon’s attraction earth goes round the sun so slowly. Without the moon, according to scientists, the earth would turn much faster and there would have been severe frosts and unbearable hot weathers (in both cases the company Danfos would benefit – air conditioners and heating would have become much demanded. Uh.. What a business would we have?!). Besides this, it protects atmosphere that covers us and takes care for us not to get overheated. However, it appears that this might not last forever. If the moon slightly moves away from us, we shall expect truly terrible things. Nevertheless, it gradually drifts apart from us. Can it really be true that these blackbirds know this?

They understand the importance of the moon and that’s why they - 299 -

sing to it? I wonder, what is our fault against the moon, how did we deserve such a wrath? Let the moon alone, without the earth and people, it would not exists at all. Look at this lazybones. It gets tired, and rests it legs – so it is getting colder, climate changes and it is hailing. Then we have to pay allowance to hundreds of people due to income destroyed by the loafing of the moon or just not existing income. It’s his entire fault that they say in Kakheti – lend me some money until the next hailing or they chose new car according to the weather forecast and watch calendar – when they are going to buy a Mercedes. Why the moon should care, it’s all about us…

It is too pompous and grandiloquent with its cut face. I think he is a Mason and Masons started to cut stone from there, from its surface. Yes, moreover, 24 of June is the birthday of Masons. They started to celebrate this day 3 centuries ago in England (I would like to congratulate with all my heart and soul this memorable day to every Mason, I’ll sent you a gift, at the same time special tour is announced to the country of Masonic lodge, pilgrims are going to visit sacred places).

That’s great, but what is the fault of our economy – summer does not look like summer and spring does not look like spring. Hail and catastrophes are all the time. We are still struggling for paying the allowance due to the hail and on the other hand, increase of heating season up to 7 months and law quality gas of “Tbilgas”, for which one pays triple amount in order to heat the house (though, risks of moon behaviour are not mentioned in the risk-management theory of banks and finances, then tell me whose fault is this). Has the moon lived on Rustaveli avenue we would have arranged one good old, strike! But no, it lays for itself and frowns. What we would do without the moon, they say. But this isn’t the case here. We would bring Mars and assign it the position of the moon, moreover considering how long he’s been craving for this position. It’s just that - 300 -

the sun told to cohabitate and that is why it strolls up and down and has become red with the moon’s behaviour. Then we would preach him to move in such a speed that is needed for us and we would not have either too much cold or hail. The country would be filled with harvest, we would save money on energy, whole world would flourish, and even blackbirds would not disturb our dreams with their mezzo-soprano. Uh! Now you see where is the beginning of the problem?! – in the moon. We thought the problem was in us, no and no! – It is above, beginning of every misfortune lies above. That’s why clever Georgians have established whole army of non-governmental organizations under the name of – Intergalactic institute of Mars Legalization (It appears that Mars is in the minority in the sun galaxy, it has its rights and some – either sun or moon – violates them, so someone has to protect it). They are called – Martians and they demand restoration of Mar’s legal rights, we are fed up with the yellow moon and we want red Mars.

We cannot look at this pompous moon. Mars is the other case, it is modest and loving. In the nearest weeks, after the Masons birthday, their parade and protest action is planned to take place. Those willing can join and let’s together rescue our country and whole world. This is too global and too complicated. We thought that we belonged to ourselves… Brother, everything isn’t as we wish.

Everything is complicated. Everything is decided above, not here!

Happy Masons’ day and I think it’s time to learn stone cutting.

Instead of doing nothing, but cutting Sulguni and hearts of each other.

So my dear moon, things aren’t so simple as they seem. Though, I understand you – everybody is looking for own place under the sun, but what we, Georgians have to do with this? We are fed up with that unending hail and…

June, 2013 - 301 -

WHAT HAPPENED TO EUROPE? BARROSO APPEARS TO BE YOUNG MAOIST, HOLLANDE – REACTIONARY, I.E. WHY DON’T WE BECOME MEMBERS OF THE EUROPEAN UNION AND WHAT KILLED THE HORSE OF MERAB NATCHKEBIA Montmartre saturated with sun and army of artist-pilgrims, rustling of modern French artists and coffee with croissants. As if whole world has arrived here to touch the spirit of Modigliani, Monet and Pissarro, feel the air full of paints and heavenly colours of impressionism. I’m sitting along and thinking of faraway past – here, somewhere, together with Gauguin, Akhvlediani and Gudiashvili were strolling and ordering continental breakfast or French nectar Sauvignon to these waiters in berets.

This place, I suppose, is the island of past glory in the modern Europe, Mecca of artists, while this sea of people – artists-pilgrims.

Why this graveyard was attracting these immortal people, who were not destined to die, whose spirits they are guarding and phosphorus of whose grave were they torturing, what connection this pantheon has to supernatural colours of Monet. While I was sinking in these thoughts, Arveladze offered me some coffee, I smoked lazily and again sank into my thoughts. Meanwhile I asked garçon, grinning from ear to ear like a cheese seller, to bring ashtray, though I did not quite grip whether he was smiling to me or to Arveladze balled from Parisian morning chill. “Throw it on the ground” – said the garcon in response. I was astonished. Suddenly, step-by-step impressionists flew away of my thoughts, I thought that I heard these words in the middle of Europe, -lover of order, always concerned about other’s behaviour and permanently preaching Europe. I did not expect this from it. What?! – I shouted bitterly, as if I’ve just heard about death of Manet. I looked around. In the lines of cof- 302 -

fee drinkers’ club, everyone had small, tambourine-sized tables in front of them, everyone was smoking and everyone was throwing the ashes on the ground. I thought this too, I guess, is the rule of Montmartre and tried to do the same.

This was not the end of cohabitation of modern Europe and me.

I moved to Avenue des Champs Elysées. I wanted to think about all the republics of France and Marxism of Hollande. Under the sycamore trees cut in the style of Nanette haircut, near the centuries old Arc de Triomphe, I had coffee and croissants again and started to think of French revolution. I even did not manage to go on with the First Republic and see the rolling head of Marie-Antoinette when I desired to smoke a cigarette again. Nicotine helps thinking and again I asked for ashtray garcon with the face crumpled like a wrestler’s ears, whose, dander was up I guess, and he answered – “Simply, throw it on the ground”. Then I flew to Lion and from the opposite side of the river shore I was looking at Gothic architecture. I received the same response there too, throw the ashes on the ground, we even do not have an ashtray here! Hm… yes, Europe has changed, its problems are not only strengthening of socialists and raising from the dead of Marx’s ghost (by the way, today is 4th of July, the day of signing the US Declaration of Independence and the day of publishing “Communist Manifest” of Marx and Engels.

This is amazing, a real mystic) but also growth of domestic debts and internal transformation.

Herald Tribune 1 of 26th June writes that the President of Czech Republic, Milosh Zeman has proposed candidate of the new prime minister for adoption, as on June 13 police arrested 9 high-rank officials with the charge in corruption! Oh my God! What do my ears here?! Corruption is even in the government of Europe. No, “il est impossible “! This happens in the heart of Europe, and no word - 303 -

about persecution of political opponents and pressure. By the way, president appears to be representative of the other party, but still.

In the same newspaper, I read that French President, Francois Hollande and Jose Manuel Barroso are killing and cursing each other.

In the past Barroso was young Maoist. Mao was the odious chieftain of Chinese communist party (when he defeated his friend general and established communist dictatorship in China and still does).

Mr. Barroso, you were Maoist, and yet you threw dust into our eyes and frightened us with Russia? I remember one anecdote about this: Megrelian and Svan are walking in the jungles together. They encounter a lion. Megrelian bent and took a handful of sand and threw it into hungry lion’s eyes. And, he immediately climbed up on the tree. The lion became mad, he roares, cannot see anything and Megrelian shouts to Svan from the tree – climb up, hurry before lion cannot see anything (as you know, lion is quite capricious creature, it will not eat anything if it does not have a good look of its victim and make sure that it is well washed up and ecologically pure and that it’s not made by genetic engineering). Svan told him, why should I run and climb up the tree, it was not I who threw sand into lion’s eyes?! You say that we are not ready for Europe, you were the former Soviet Union. Yes Sir, we are former communists, but prime minister of Europe appears to be the former Maoist, so what? This Maoist, in his interview with New York Times, ten days prior to meeting of presidents of G-8 (these bosses were discussing the issues of transferring big amount of money to offshore and money laundering) accused governing circles of France, Hollande’s party in hindering conclusion of free trade agreement with USA and in implementing anti-globalist policy and called them reactionaries openly (How one can talk about criticism of Georgia

by European parties and European institutions). Barroso said that - 304 -

Hollande is a reactionary! They say, elections are upcoming in European parliament and Barroso will have to run for the next term, that’s why he accused French president and won their hearts, who as well do not like Hollande, so that they could support Barroso after one year. In short, what Europeans won’t do for keeping their chairs? Here, this Ben Bernanke made whole world nervous – they don’t know whether he will buy these securities or not; will Dollar become a hard currency or not. And, at the same time, he teaches whole world – “Never explain, never excuse”. Why don’t you say this from the beginning, instead of preaching us how to catch and how to manage? We are fed up with the membership of the European Union and NATO. First, you handle your issues in the European Union, correct you economy, decrease state expenses and budget deficit, learn cohabitation, eradicate corruption and then we might think of your membership. Somehow or other! Until you don’t handle you business, Georgia won’t step into that European Union. Now, you can be nervous and in “Deeply Concern”.

I remember – Jacob had debt of his neighbour and he was obliged to pay his debt in the morning. Jacob, just like everybody else in Georgia, did not have money and could not return debt. He was very nervous about this. His wife, Sara told his husband, I’ll handle this issue. He went to the neighbour and told him: – Does my husband have you debt?

– Yes, he does – answered the neighbour.

– He should pay his debt tomorrow, shouldn’t he?

– Yes, he should – answered the neighbour.

– Well, he won’t – Proudly told Sara and went home. When she entered home, she told Jacob – now, let him worry and be nervous about it. Well, Georgians, now let European be nervous, and you needn’t to worry about anything. Unless they learn to use ashtrays - 305 -

and hang the doors in the toilets, we won’t step into Europe. In the times of 19th century, Impressionists were denied access to salons and arranging exhibitions there. Because of this, impressionists arranged open-air exhibitions. So this how new epoch of art was created. The same is in Georgia, it is denied to access the European Union and it should create its own Montmartre.

Now we can be in “deeply concern” and not because the fact that there is a corruption and economic recession in Europe, but because of the fact that the finest and spoilt horse of Merab Natchkebia died suddenly due to eating hay created by genetic engineering. Generally, one should know what we are eating!

July, 2013

RETURN THE SUN TO US AND TAKE THE CITY PARK TO HELL Tbilisi style business Sky over Batumi is closed and the sun, perhaps, has its summer vacations. Permanent rain and cold has made summer season similar to winter. Everything changes, except for Al Jarreau and City Park. I wonder why the sun is angry with us or who made it angry this time? I understand, it is tired of watching us but it is too much, poor people, with the only resort is the most expensive and moist Batumi. In bad weather the boredom reaches its peak and people move to the center of the city. And I moved together with them.

After long searching I found a parking for my car.

I left the car and went to the cafe. I attempted to cheer myself up and relief the trauma caused by one-week rain. But ... When I returned, I found the parking ticket on my windshield – Batumi City Park imposed GEL 10 fine on you. I grew angry and dangerous - 306 -

like Black Sea! - In this season I have paid GEL 50 the City Park service fee – I told a man from Batumi standing near by - No, said the man, you have paid the fees to Tbilisi City Park and here we have our own fees. That’s because in Tbilisi they impose fines on the cars from Batumi - he said.

I was astonished – each city of Georgia should impose its own City Park fines? – I asked. Why not, my opponent said, have not you seen the sign at Adlia customs office near Kvariati, saying that Batumi is controlled by City Park? I immediately recalled this expensive and senseless blue sign and started to think – now Kobuleti will introduce such fees, further Lanchkhuti, Samtredia, Kutaisi and so on and before I get to Tbilisi, I shall have to pay about GEL 1000, this was a terrifying picture and I exploded – Down the City Park!

Such fees are collected all over the world by means of the parking meters and this has the only single purpose – limit traffic in the center of the city to prevent overloading and if you don’t park your car in such places, you shall never have to pay such fees.

Initially, this was the case in Tbilisi as well. They wanted to deal with this problem by means of such service but as usually, the result was quite opposite. Someone Bekauri decided to monopolize this business together with his friends from Israel, desiring to get easy money. City Hall thought that this Bekauri was a professional in transport issues, as he was a professional driver with long work experience, before he was elected as a Parliament Member by the Nationals. Relying on the “two-cylinder” mind of this “transporter” they decided to transform this sector in European manner and as usually, we have obtained the African robbery system. Initially they announced the tender, then the winner was expelled and the - 307 -

service was transferred to the City Hall and people. Finally, we rejected the parking meters, the City Hall imposed GEL 25 fees, and later increased them to GEL 50. We have got rid of everything except for these City Park robbers. Down the City Park robbing the people! This is one of the channels created by the Nationals, together with waste disposal services, to finance their activists and their entertainment. And we pay obediently and say nothing! They are right in Batumi – all should impose such fees – let’s divide Georgian into City Parks: Sighnaghi City Park, Chkhorotsku City Park and so on.

Apart of City Park, they have left the parking workers as well and they rob us too. They collect about GEL 3 million annually.

That’s how City Gall gives jobs to people on our account. I understand, luxury life style, visiting of bars and strip-clubs is expensive, but people has no enough money to support the City Hall personnel and we must tell them that everything is over between us!

They had to arrange the parking areas and install the parking meters. They had to construct the parking areas but they have done nothing, except for imposing fines. So, in aggregate, they collect about GEL 10 million and enjoy their lives on people’s account.

We shall immediately terminate additional funding to Ugulava and Akhvlediani and cancel the City Park fees. And remove these parking workers from the streets.

Now I understand where is the sun – it seems that City Park has taken it away with its tow truck as it has not paid the parking fees.

Return us the sun and take your City Park to hell with your tow truck!

August 2013

- 308 -

MAYOR WAS CAUGHT “I have wondered at times what the Ten Commandments would have looked like if Moses had run them through the US Congress.” ― Ronald Reagan “Superior man blames himself, inferior man blames others” Confucious 525 BC ”When you have a gun it’s much easier to talk with a man” Dwight D. Eisenhower, the US President We’ve been arguing about governments and self-governments for ages. All of us criticize and demand them to be strong and cornerstones of the country and its economy. We’re constantly arguing, creating new concepts or laws and complain that nothing’s done and they are as ridiculous and paralyzed like Kutaisi Mayor’s Office.

However, if these self-governments are real, then why the Minister of Regional Development travels day and night like a king’s spy either in Kakheti to clean the flooded huts, or in Adjara to restore the bridge, or in Samegrelo to warm the calf wet of the rain.

Because there is no local self-government and don’t even think that only I see this from terrace of Zegofredo in Tbilisi.

The locals, as soon as it hails and after multiple attempts small, lovely springs overcome their shores which are like thick fingers of Natuka, the same moment the central channels are called and people with heavy accent give interview telling that water has flooded everything, they miss Noah times and his ark, so that they could save two chickens, a sack of flour and three apples rescued of worms. They demand categorically the Minister himself to come from the centre and by no chance a Deputy Minister or God save us Chief of some Department. They demand the Minister to clean everything himself. That’s right! I agree! How can one compare - 309 -

something cleaned by pretty hands of a Minister to something cleaned yourself – it has got quite different charm. However, you cannot change their mind, journalists rush and give away ministers telling that they do not go to the villages themselves and do not help them. Then you’ll see!!! What is the local government doing this time? They are too busy with repairing their newly bought apartments in Tbilisi by the order of mother-in-law. Yes, that’s right! Was it good when they were dumb for 9 years? If they dare to raise voice then they would have been in trouble. Government recalled them only during elections. They were afraid because the gun was pointed to them in an American way and they were silent and even forget how to talk. Therefore, they demanded everything from the central government. Both people and local government were expecting heroism from them. Like Confucius they harshly criticized the Central government. They receive only salaries, some money for bread as a bonus and they should do their best just for this? Of course No! Who will appreciate this anyway?

Recently, during some disaster, the students in Kakheti were asked whose heroism they want to repeat. Of course, they were expecting that the kids would say – of some minister, who in front of cameras rushed into furious spring, got all wet and rescued a sinking chicken, so that housewives could cook Chakhokhbili out of it. They thought that they would have recalled heroism of local Governor and express wish to be like him, who promptly delivered information through the central television that the spring has flooded everything. Can you imagine what the students’ answer was? They wished they could have repeat Casanova’s heroism. Yes! Now, whose fault is this? Casanova’s?

We don’t want governments on site; otherwise we wouldn’t leave them with the hope of equalizing transfer, but instead amend - 310 -

tax system so that they could have had real incomes. No government can exist with unreal and virtual incomes, but we don’t let this money go, thus local government is not responsible for local economy or the disaster in place. What is self-government? Who used this term! Or why do you diminish government. Yes, local government needs to be full-pledged and with no self-governing.

The central government is fed up with that bighead governmental scheme, they cannot assign a guard without Tbilisi, cannot even change direction of a single spring without them, and cannot take apple’s rind as they don’t want to hurt worm’s feelings. So what?

Isn’t it better Narmania to be responsible for everything? They can sit in warmth and mourn.

There in the United States with actual local government, Mayor of Detroit was caught, as the town got bankrupted! Can you imagine if Chkhototsku or Akhmeta get bankrupted, what would local governors do? Don’t want to even think about this! They don’t want to have transfer and prefer loitering. How they would get used to the system like Georgian Water – it decided from Tbilisi whether should they open or close water supply tap in Tchiatura, Tetritskaro or Akhaltsikhe; should they turn on or off the broken engine. Why? Can’t you give the right to close a water tap to the regions? You don’t trust them in taxes, opening-closure of water taps, land sales, negotiations with investors; you treat them like a mother would treat her only child -doesn’t allow anything. Thus, it is not responsible for anything, except of its salary and bonuses.

If anyone deserves bonus then, this should be Dato Narmania. On their side, they aren’t responsible for either town’s bankruptcy and they are happy that their town or district can never become Detroit and thus they won’t share the fate of its Mayor.

One cannot manage everything from Tbilisi! Give districts and - 311 -

mayors actual rights. Let people understand that there is a local government’s office, mayor’s office and sometimes you can see a Mayor like Kutaisi has. Why Kutaisi is so variable? Because they demand so much that a single Mayor is unable to do, thus it became variable and changeable. He took the money and went, and then again. If you make him responsible like Detroit’s Mayor, then he won’t go anywhere and will repeat at least Ugulava’s heroism, if not of Kazanova’s.

People, let’s move – let’s give rights and incomes to the local governments, and then let them be responsible. If they don’t agree, then we should seek some advice with the US president.

October, 2013

HERE IS THE STORY OF ALTERNATE, INCLUSIVE ARISTOCRATIC MODEL OF RESCUING GEORGIAN ECONOMY AND GEORGIAN WORN WAY OF MAKING MONEY I.E. GOD SAVE US! In fall, society was boiling like Khakhetian tatara: here is the new way of electing new president and new government, there we have unique event in the history – the current first person wilfully resigned and society is still shocked – why he left us and suddenly… I read that the prince was baptized in Mtskheta! I thought that I appeared in Turkish TV series, where Suleiman’s son was baptized. Everything can happen in movies, but I didn’t expect this in modern Georgia, I was astonished.

Though, shock did not end with this, show goes on. Fall distinguished itself by drop of economic growth to 2.5 percents, the budget lacks cash income, people are annoyed with unemployment, lack of money and cabal bank credits. Everyone was both- 312 -

ered with the same question – what’s going to happen? and here… the sky opened and bright beam appeared, what’s the point of naive ideas of Chicago school or monetary ideas of Milton Freedman and Phelps. This is brand new, some features resemble Keynes, but God save us from plagiarism, and this is pure original! Georgia has never experienced lack of ideas.

Not so long ago, on a beautiful morning with a mixture of grown old and feeble sun and bold frost, I read: To: Catholicos-Patriarch of Georgia, Archbishop of Mtskheta-Tbilisi, Metropolitan of Bitchvinta and Tskhum-Abkhazia, His holiness and blissfulness Ilia II and Prime-Minister of Georgia Mr. Bidzina Ivanishvili Explanatory note Your holiness and blissfulness bless us!

Mr. Bidzina!

Once again with belief and hope we, on behalf of Assembly of Aristocrats of Georgia, the members of monarchist movement “Royal Crown”, parents and teachers of School-Lyceum named after Niko Bagrationi, address you, the spiritual father and physical saviour of the nation regarding urgency of the concept of constitutional monarchy in today’s Georgia.

With devoted efforts of our Patriarch, our beliefs and thoughts, in accordance with national spirit, we inform you that the expectation of God blessed King, refusal to institutions of the discredited former president has found huge support in the society.”

Don’t you believe? Me neither, but I’ll indicate the source (http:// www.sakartvelos-tavadaznauroba.ge/openletter/) – even with all the brain-storming I couldn’t invent and think up this. Yes, while we were celebrating new president and his inauguration, it appears - 313 -

that he has been discredited and now we should restore monarchy.

This will save us.

I was always wondering – who were kings of Georgia before IX-X centuries? They are the Bagrations of whom King Erekle couldn’t even gather 5000 people (even his sons were hiding) for the war with Aga-Mahmud Khan and the one whose funeral was attended by 50000 people. Neither father nor uncle resigned of the throne in favour of King Bagrat. I don’t know! I am not a historian, but economic miracle awaits you below. Whole history is written in the letter and in the end, there is a conclusion that institution of aristocrats should be restored. Why? Because a King needs his escort. These aristocrats will need lands, palaces, stables, special schools, lyceums, and finally pocket money. And Keynes ideas have been revived: ”15. In the accomplishment of these ideas, long-term, law interest rate credit will help us, that eventually will be returned to Georgia”.

I cited Paragraph 15 as I had already briefed you about the rest of it, what are their desires, what they would like to purchase and create. For that reason they need several tens of millions. Why not?! Simply the word grant is better than credit. They won’t be able to pay the credit anyway and will be disgraced. Then they will start to sell those lands, as they did in the past and it won’t be easy to resurrect Ilia Chavchavadze in order him to establish Aristocratic Bank once again for rescuing Georgia, though I agree with them in the desire to receive money and this is an inclusive, aristocratic economic concept, grand plan of the country’s development.

You should give them some money, Mr. Bidzina, to these members of Aristocratic Club. They’ll start building palaces and royal establishments and those temporary unemployed workmen will be - 314 -

employed, markets of inert and other construction materials will be revived, indicator of industrial growth increases, then they will buy cars, luxurious clothes, gold, trade revives too and in general, all these require services, don’t they? They’ll hire servants, footman, – people get employed, GDP exceeds 8-10 percents and it amounts 15 000 USD per capita.

God bless you! What a wonderful idea, dear! It resembles something like when Keynes called for state motivation of economy in thirties with his multiplier and made the world to think; but in our case, it is also mixed with salt of Georgian naivety and pepper of Georgian slyness.

Dear Sirs and Madams, if you want to have fun do it yourself, the county and people have nothing to do with your monarchy and king. They struggled and built one of the most democratic countries in the region, without any reign, and they’ll take care of that economy too. You, either Ostap Benders or Kvahi Kvachantiradzes, are mistaken with a century.

Are you planning to create economy of zombies or inclusive one! I remember one good old anecdote: Armenian bought Zaporozhets and drove it into garage. At the end of a week, he opened the door and the garage was empty, the car stolen. He bought another Zaporozhets, though the new car faced the same fate, it was stolen too. The third time when he bought a Zaporozhets and opened the garage door, there was a Volga, with a title on it: “If you wanna drive do it, but don’t you disgrace own nation”! If you want to have fun, do it, this is a free country, but, please, do it at your own expense and don’t bother people and the country.

I’ve also recalled one antique fable – a goat was mocking a wolf from the balcony of its owner, the wolf muttered bitterly, the place you are sitting on that mocks me not you. I don’t want someone - 315 -

to mock my nation from a special balcony, this is Georgia – democratic and free country, if you can put a brick – do it! Though don’t you dare to misappropriate the bricks laid by others, you joked and that’s enough, send my kind regards to the prince from the mother’s side (When have we started to transfer surname from mother to son, are we Jews or what?).

Though, it’s worth of considering this new idea – Georgian economic-inclusive-aristocratic theory of the country’s economic development – original!

By the way, don’t write an explanatory note, it not correct, even more, you should be more precise, don’t forget to calculate credit and cash flow! And, in the end, the credit requires debt security and it seems you forgot this aspect, and you should include this for sure, Consider this at the council meeting.

Wish you success and let St. George blesses you!

23 of November, 2013

PROBLEM OF THE BACKGROUND AND MUTUAL ASSESSMENT IN THE ECO-POLITICS OF GEORGIA The best financial advice I ever got was ”Price yourself high and see what happens.”

Scott Adams, creator of ”Dilbert” and author of ”How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big” It is a cold winter. Frost spits, trembles and wants to penetrate into our flesh, like a sorrow. It is so cold that I think, even the frost feels frozen, seeking some warmth in our poor bodies. It does not know that we are even colder and crueler than it is. It is cold but silent and pure and we – cold, cruel and speaking different pharisaic and dirty thinks. Frost kills a human and further, it maintains the body beautiful and peaceful, undamaged and we kill one anoth- 316 -

er with our senseless words and further decay them. Sometimes I think that if Lord could really see all our actions, sins, hear all our words, his heart would burst of all these. Perhaps he shouts angrily – no, how all these could be forgiven or heard on the day of doom.

Were we come from, so haughty and why can we see each small mistake of the others and cannot notice any of our great sins?

Do you know why Cain has killed Abel? Do you want to know the great secret? Cain told Abel, that he had a poor background!

Your forefather has escaped to Armenia in his ark at a time of Deluge said he and killed his brother because of this (at least, Gela Khanishvili, my old friend and now solid wastes killer). Before Abel died, he thought, let a man more innocent than I am throw the stone to me and kill me with the dagger but people could not hear this.

People who have gained their promotion and success by chance or a politician always forget their past and see the other person’s past in dark colors, while their past, in their opinion is as white and pure as snow in Bakuriani. They never remember their own background and from where and how they have come and they are interested in the other peoples’ background only.

This is a political way of action for them – be as impudent and as haughty as possible. Covered with mud and blood, they say to their friends, if they can remember the small cuts on their faces. When the angels in the heaven hear speech of these people, they are concerned, they think, what angels are there, on the Earth, even greater angels than we are and bend their heads down ashamed.

But such people lack what Galaktioni has told to one weak poet: one of weak poets asked Galaktioni, they say that I am as great poet as Ilia was and what do you think about this? Maybe you are like him, said Galaktioni. What is the similarity, asked the man. Maybe because you are fat, or you have mustaches, answered the great poet. No, tell me, what exactly is difference between Ilia and me, - 317 -

what do I lack - insisted the intruder. Galaktioni got angry and said – you lack a bullet in your forehead.

People often ask me, what the problem was in Georgian economy in 2013. Maybe, the background not so good! I think so and generally, ot would be better, if each person takes care about is own background and we take care of the background of our economy.

When Cain told Abel that he had a poor background and the previous government told to the current one that it had a poor economic background, why the heaven does not fall down, why the cows do not lose their milk and the sky – its snow (maybe they have lost and that’s why sulguni cheese costs 15 lari and there is no snow in Gudauri).

I was thinking about all these and suddenly an elderly hunter standing by my side squeezed my hand like December frost and whispered that a bear was coming out of the wood. I felt thrill of fear. I did not expect this and asked him, but the bears should sleep in winter, or not? The hunter told me: they hear such things that even bear cannot sleep in winter.

So, be careful, the bears don’t sleep, Caen does not like Abel’s forefathers and someone thinks that he is like Ilia.

I wish you merry Christmas and Happy New Year, my dear readers.

As Napoleon Hill sais, our noble nature makes us be unsatisfied with ourselves and allow some scoundrels to talk about our backgrounds.

The year best advice, raise your head as high as you can, price yourself, trust the American genius and one more thing – I recall US president – “Never explain, never excuse”.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

January 2014

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STRANGE SHADES OF GEORGIAN GREEN MOVEMENT, OR HOW GREEN IS AT THE SAME TIME BLACK, RED, YELLOW AND EVEN MOTLEY On the beautiful April day, when whole world celebrated the Day of Earth, in the bright sun (it was good weather in the morning), the Green Movement has celebrated it as well. For this day the Greens arranged so called performance and there they named as the representatives of “green business” the leaders of the largest oil companies. The nature became so angry for this obscenity that that night it sent unseen thunder, storm and showed and the lightening to Mtatsminda Mast. Furious nature has sent the lightening to the impudence and phariseeism of the Green Movement.

Green Movement, sometimes screaming because of not cutting of the trees but even for taking of each leave, nothing to say about the big dustup with Hudon HPP, unexpectedly named the five oil companies importing low quality petrol into Georgia as the poster-boys of green business.

If we look more carefully to the issue of this low quality fuel, we shall see that such low quality implies content of the lead and other chemical admixtures in the fuel and they directly cause the cancer.

Many specialists have made their reports but for some reason no one pay attention to such reports and these oil companies first of all. They don’t care. They poison us, steal and in addition, make us pay excessive money. No one makes them responsible, even Green Movement, directly committed to protect our green planet.

I would like to apply to my friends from Green Movement, in these Easter days, please, stop this phylactery. Please, don’t invite the representatives of oil companies under the aegis of green business and don’t make them the image of green business, please, reject some grants and be honest. There are some values higher than - 319 -

money, for example, conscience, human trust, fairness. But what are we talking about, we are the phylactery lovers, sometimes we desire to join NATO, sometimes – EU and sometimes we don’t want to join anyone; we like the fairy tales, we express our protest when the restaurant is built in Vake Park but we say nothing when the area in front of Sports Palace, the favorite place of our children now is full of large buildings and for some reason I don’t remember that the Greens have said anything about this. We fight with construction of Hudon HPP while poison the country with the chemical admixtures in the fuel and moreover, we award the people responsible for this in a most pharisaic manner – as green business. In think, the greatest enemy of the Georgians is phylactery. We should deal with this sin first and further fight against the external and internal enemies and think about where to be, with the Europe or Asia.

April 2014

ABOUT THE REGULARITIES OF STENDHAL’S DEATH OF SYPHILIS AND ECONOMIC PARADIGMS OF CONTEMPORARY GEORGIA, OR FOR WHICH POLITICIAN IT WOULD BE ADEQUATE TO DIE OF EBOLA “... I cannot guarantee that I shall not be nervous” Stendhal Winter creeps slowly, with the frost, pain and melancholy. Sun is defeated and colorless veil of cold covers the nature and soul full of summer joy and love!

Perhaps, everything has its time, everything is perishable, but sometimes I think – people simply sooth themselves by these senseless words and attempt to cover their mistakes with dust or attrib- 320 -

uting them to the others – to the nature or even sun. Maybe because it is the most painful thing to recognize one’s own mistakes.

The regularities, seemingly inevitable, actually are the certain dogmas and Shania laws emerged in human mind, pumped into the worm-eaten layers of their coconsciousness and people don’t know why they follow them.

In this world, the number one theologian of love, Stendhal, killed by syphilis, the Cupid’s measles, maybe someone believes that this is normal?! As he said: “death, life, eternity – these are too simple concepts for those who are quite educated”. (1. Stendhal, “Red and Black”, Tb. 2014, p. 291) We all are the slaves of our ambitions, with the exception of the chosen people and further we start to seek those who are guilty all over the world, to say that they have forced to do something bad...

Matilda followed her beloved person’s body to the grave. Many priests and people followed the coffin. No one knew that Matilda set in the coach with the curtains down and she had a head of a man she loved so much on her knees.”

The mankind have not listened to Stendhal and it plunges with great pleasure into the swamp of dogmatism, creates the legends and bases the paradigms on some simple and senseless rules, the azimuths of the ways, actually false and after discovering this, it commences endless excuses, Why have I recalled in this grey, wet and dull morning of Tbilisoba Stendhal, creator of the greatest picture of love philosophy and human ignorance? Because this trend has moved from love to the economy. This disease has infected entire world and our country like light and quite expensive Ebola virus.

Just imagine, how many people have hardships in Georgia and start to dream about... and further there will be only moulds: free - 321 -

kindergarten; free school; free textbooks; free healthcare; increased allowances for the vulnerable people and refugees and exemptions of taxes, hanging on our economy like heavy boulders and hindering its progress, like the idea of moral love and moral life and seeking of the truth in the dogmas, with Stendhal’s characters.

Of course, socialism is a good thing, but it is too expensive! And as at this stage we have no any other source of finances, it is time to leave the dreams about social equalization and act reasonably in actual situation. Get free of the dogmas and create the paradigms based on the actual resources and values and tell the truth to ourselves – the truth about the fact that the world was stressed by fall of the oil prices. Price for barrel of oil has decreased by almost $30 while in Georgia the prices are the same as 4-5 months ago. Moreover, Wissol has increased price up to GEL 2.24 for super, when we were lying, now or before? What will be tomorrow? The investors have abandoned us and perhaps they have forgotten us at all.

Why? What we are going to do? We have established the antitrust agency, but it seems that it has given the vow of silence, what are we doing? For 3 years the budget is about 9 million and in the next year there will be the elections, what are we going to do? I heard that on the Titanic a lover was having the last bottle of Champaign, telling his lover that everything will be all right! No, we are not on the Titanic yet, and we are not Julian from Stendhal’s book, telling himself before execution that everything is all right, because he is not trembling but maybe it would be better to reject the stereotypes; follow the reality and commence the reforms, be frank, as there is too little time, it is cold and winter is coming!!!

October 2014

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WHAT IS THE PRICE OF LOVE, OR THE LAW IN THE EMPTINESS ABOUT EMPTINESS FOR THE EMPTY COUNTRY It is better not to be born rather than to be born dead The emptiness is the most expensive space of the mankind. The most significant part of the entire market is the action for covering of the emptiness. People spend most money for filling of the emptiness and frequently they do this unconsciously. Perhaps, no one has calculated but human relations, in a monetary form, achieve quite significant amount. I mean that relations with the people making one’s life beautiful are very valuable, those, with whom we share our emotions, thoughts; whom we make smile, whom we support or give love, warmth, romanticism, love. We spend time with them – friends, beloved people, family members. But all these has some costs: presents for the various significant dates, parties, everyday rituals of having coffee and tea at the cafe, visiting restaurants etc; friendship, love, relations with the children – all these are quite expensive relations.

To fill the emptiness, this disease of 21st century, people can even use the equipment: computers, mobile phones, various gadgets. Frequently they replace real relations, but similarity is that we pay for them as well. Out attitude to them is almost maniacal, we became their slaves, we are chained to them like Amiran to the cliff. Unlike us, Amiran attempted to get free while we become slaves to greater and greater extent - we attempt to follow the technical innovations and replace one model with another to better fill the emptiness.

When thinking about this, I found out that this would be a good idea for the beginner businessmen. How can a man make money?

Of course by providing the most demanded products and if we look to the human emptiness in material aspect and translate it into the - 323 -

categories able to fill such emptiness, we shall find that the best business is the one serving to filling of the emptiness of the mankind – people pay the greatest amounts without regret not for the food, clothes or defense but for filling of the emptiness.

One of such “instruments” for filling of the emptiness is having home pats – for example, small, white and fluffy puppy like Roy, with its needle-like teeth and scratching paws. Though, you should not think that filling of the emptiness is limited to pleasure of watching of how this adorable creature plays. Now, it has its price you have to pay in its direct meaning: in 2014, after dealing with all their problems, the Parliament of Georgia and Ministry of Environment Protection turned to our pets and adopted the law, and according to this law, you shall pay the fine, if your fluffy emptiness filler has a dump in the street and you fail to remove it. Where else can you see such picture, where people walk their expensive dogs and further bear responsibility for their excrements? Of course, these are Vake, Vera, Rustaveli, Saburtalo and Batumi Boulevard.

My congratulations, this is a record in world jurisprudence and civil law – we have adopted the law written for five districts of the country. It is hard to imagine that in Chkhorotsku or Chokhatauri a dog was aired by its owner, instead, I have seen the dogs walking in the streets and satisfying their natural requirements. I wonder, if they find a dog alone in the street, who must pay the fine? Maybe the dog itself? Maybe City Park inspector will issue the bill and hang it on the dog’s neck? or the dogs will be numbered, with the badges and in case of violation send the bills to their owners? Your dog has had a good dump in the specified territory, and please pay GEL 50 as the fine.

I think, the government has realized that they can make money for filling of the emptiness and introduced this new fine. Though, - 324 -

the beginner businessmen can benefit from this. Has your pet done something in the street? You just need to make a call to our company and our operators will immediately clean everything up for GEL 5. In case of three calls per day, the fourth call will be for free. Believe me, this will be a good business. The fate of the other districts will be regulated by the subordinated act developed by the Ministry, based on the world’s best practice and taking into consideration the strange nature of Georgians.

Hey, people, I wonder, whether this country has nothing to do except for this? Fill the other empty places, why have you come to this? Let these excrements stay in the street, I think they will be more useful that some civil servants at the state positions, sitting and doing nothing and getting people’s money for nothing. They fill the emptiness in the rooms only while the excrements fertilize the soil. It’s time to adopt the laws to be complied with all over the country and before their adoption make conclusion, whether it is implementable or not, whether we desire to implement it or not, where it will fill the emptiness or don’t adopt them at all, it would be better not to give birth rather than to give birth to a dead.

I wish you happy New Year, less emptiness and... Maybe I should wish you a dog’s luck? Now you can see that the dogs became the part of economy, the element of GDP, poor dogs, they have to be responsible for human duplicity, fill the emptiness left by the beloved people and you have to pay for the excrements.

December 2014

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SIMILARITIES OF SINGAPORE AND THE IDEA OF GEORGIAN MANHATTAN Just recently I had a debate with a lady of Tbilisi about “greenness” and she argued that “green” means the wild, intact nature and no money and investments are required for maintenance of such nature and hence, she was against the project of Georgian Manhattan! In her opinion, it does not imply greenness?.. It’s amazing, no one desires to listen to the arguments and suddenly I recalled the Singapore (we are of the same age, that lady, I and Singapore). It has 50th anniversary and it is a symbol of unique combination of green flora, skyscrapers. This is an Asian Manhattan and you can judge, whether it is successful or not. Its author, Lee Kuan Yew regarded it as a prototype of Manhattan. This is the charm of this city, for this it attracts the bankers and the businessmen and for this it became one of the key centers of the world’s business elite!

As George Orwell wrote, when people are 50, each of them has the face he/she deserves. Singapore, which will celebrate the 50th anniversary of its independence on 9 August, can be proud of its young energy. This is a mythical and magic city: with the skyscrapers, well regulated traffic congestions, and outstanding representatives of globalization, like HSBC, UBS, Alianz, Citi and others; with the tankers in the sea, ferryboats and container ships; with one of the most loaded container port of Asia in the west and the largest factories and oil & chemical complex. In the eastern end of Singapore there is one of the most beautiful airports in the world. Nevertheless, the city remains “green”. In this context, today, the declarations of the Singapore government that they were building the city in the garden does not seem strange. Singapore has deserved the word frequently used by its government – a “special place” and this status is conditioned by - 326 -

many of its qualities: the only fully functional city state; real international hub of trade, finance, marine transport and travel; and one and single among the richest countries of the world, which has not replaced its governing party.

This year, the Prime Minister of Singapore (Lee Hsien Loong) said, in his speech that “to survive you should be a special one” .

This speech gave answers to many questions about why Singapore is so successful for 50 years. But the question, whether it will go on its way with similar success was left without answer. Singapore has passed 50 years of success and flourish but in the following half of century it will face some difficulties The greatest challenge for Singapore, perhaps, will be its self-confidence – the belief that the policies proven to be success for 50 years will be able to deal with the world’s new challenges.

In 1965, Singapore was in the Malaysian Federation, the country located to the north from it, connected with the bridge with it.

Father of Lee Kuan Yew, current Prime Minister of Singapore, who became the Prime Minister in 1959, initially regarded Singapore within the Malaysian Federation but Singapore has gained its independence in 1965. After this, Lee was sure that Singapore, mostly populated with Chinese people, will always be success die to Malaysian policies.

Lee passed away this year, in March, in age of 91. The days of mourning showed many things. Singapore can be proud of its people and their response, standing in the long queue all day long, in the rain and sun. People’s response showed one more miracle: a country, never existent before, has emerged from the immigrants of different races – most of them are Chinese (74%), Malaysians (13%) and Indians (9%). Nevertheless, the citizens of Singapore have showed their national identity. People expressed not only - 327 -

mourning for the death of Lee but also they showed the celebration of their patriotism.

Current Prime Minister has contributed to the “special” nature of Singapore. He rules the country since 1990 and he is distinguished with the pragmatic governance style. He rules Singapore as a benevolent dictator. International Security Act, adopted in the colonial period, in 1960, eliminated the opposition forces. Now Parliament is basically the echo of the Prime Minister, rather than actual executive power. No opposition candidate has had a place there since 1981. Local mass media follows the government’s line, moreover, the political bankrupted opposition parties and opponents to the government are not able to attract the attention from the side of the foreign mass media as well. At best, they can appear in the invisible places of the western press.

Singapore is often called the Lighthouse of Asia located in the geographical heart of the continent, without any chaos, dirt, low quality water and any traffic jams. It is also called the Lighthouse of Democracy, with almost all components of democracy but at the same time, without any pre-election mess. Singapore is special, as it has a single-party but legitimate government for 56 years, since Lee’s People’s Action Party (PAP) has gained the power. The system has numerous supporters, both, within the country and abroad.

The level of crimes in Singapore is very low and the formal corruption is almost absent there. It is one of the world’s leaders with respect of human development, high per capita GDP and low infant mortality. And still there is a question, whether a system built by Lee will be able to deal with the current reality or not?

It has two challenges: the first one is absence of strong opposition. Though the government successfully fulfills its duties but its actual testing is possible only in presence of the string opposition.

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Second, PAP may become the victim of its own success and relatively weak achievements in the elections (2011) evidence this.

Singapore high class schools, colleges and universities have graduated the well educated generation, global citizens less tolerant to PAP, than their parents’ generation. In 13th June, 28.000 people came to the parade to support the LGBT and they clearly showed their dissatisfaction with the conservative policies of PAP. In addition, the young citizens of Singapore are not afraid to be in opposition of PAP. One more achievement of PAP, now working against it, is increasing life standards. The share of aged people increased and they feel that PAP has broken the main promise given to them, with respect of their careless elderly age. Not only pensioners are dissatisfied. Many of Singapore citizens are bored with the significant inflow of immigrants. The great number of immigrants causes two significant problems: increasing population and lack of space.

Regarding all these, the question, whether the following 50 years will be as successful as past half of century for Singapore, becomes more and more significant. It has a simple answer – regarding that Asia is the most rapidly developing region of the world and the quantity of money in this region, including tax protecting and tax evading measures – Singapore will be success. It will have more green cover and unique skyscrapers in harmony side by side! This is Manhattan and profit of the Manhattanization idea. Maybe it is worth to think about!

Source: The Economist July 2015

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ANGLERS HAVE DEFEATED BANKERS SOS! BREXIT is becoming a reality! Today the world has not slept, quite frankly, it has not slept and at 10.00 o’clock by our time and at 7.00 o’clock by London’s time, unbelievable results of the referendum of the United Kingdom were announced – England is quitting the EU!!!!

I think, in general, a new era begins for Europe – first, at the end of the World War II, a world new financial – political system was formed in the USA, New Hampshire, Bretton Woods which, according to Professor Denorodrik, has become a globalization trilemma. It can be said that it often and permanently becomes the subject of criticism from economists like Joseph Stiglitz, V. Papava and others but despite of the fact, they still are the determiners of the globalization mainstream and this was confirmed by the crisis of Greece.

The second – in old Europe money has devoured democracy and identity and the English people could not stand it as well as the multi-billion European bureaucracy. Bureaucracy which infinitely torments small, hard-working Georgia fighting against a monster and acts towards it with the principle “why don’t you wear a cap” in the visa liberalization issue while it forgives billions of debt for socialist, wasteful Greece, corruption for Bul- 330 -

garia and anti – socialism and reformism for Moldova.

The third is about double standard – it forgives one party for torturing people with disgusting methods, violation of property rights and waves the finger to another one for normal procedural incidents of ordinary prisoners!

The fourth – completely unprecedented – British anglers turned out the powerful bankers and exchanges! What happened in England is worth thinking over again – do not make reforms by force, involve people in it. The economics described in Thomas Picket’s capital is a modern today and that’s why a lot of things need rethinking, do not be boastful, we are calling on every Authority, listen to people!

If Europe now considers that what began this morning only England and English people are guilty in it, then big cataclysms will take place – since Bretton Woods, Steel union 1956 and customs union including tirda ATA Carnet, free movement of automobiles, since the economic union of Europe, from Ecu to Maastricht and till the introduction of Euro, the scheme of European integration has always had ascending trend and it’s the first time it moved to bear trend which is an alarming sign of thrombosis, correction will be quite deep if they do not carry out relevant lessons and eliminate double standards. They should immediately accept the countries in their rows such as Georgia - 331 -

– where, economically and politically there is no corruption but high level of democracy and relevant quality of reforms! It’s time for Brussels bureaucracy to think once again of – what has happened today and why, what the solution is in!

Georgian authorities will also have to think about – what BREXIT will bring to the country and what steps we have to take!! We obviously need a new paradigm as the new global era begins!!

Are we ready?

24 June 2016