MarriageToday Magazine - Winter 2007

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don’t miss

Christmas! inside: Jimmy Evans helps you avoid the pitfalls of the busy holiday season and offers meaningful truths for families at Christmas.

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prepare for peace

by Karen Evans

winter

2007

12

business & marriage

by Brenton Evans

20

six steps forward

by Ron Deal

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welcome

dear friend, There is a poignant scene in the movie Schindler’s List. After being taken from their homes and moved into ghettos, the Jews are being systematically dehumanized and imprisoned by the Nazis.

As one group of newly relocated Jews is standing together in the street, they are talking to each other about their dilemma. As they anxiously discuss their plight, one of the men makes an interesting observation. Here is a paraphrase of what I remember of his comments: “Why did we have to come to this terrible place to finally talk to each other? When we were OK we didn’t have time for one another. So it takes this to bring us to a point where we will spend time talking? Even though I hate this place, I really have missed being together like we are now.”

This story illustrates a truth that is relevant for all of us—life is about relationships. When our relationships are good—life is good. When they are bad—life is bad. The overall quality of our lives never reaches above the level of our relationships—especially our relationships with God and family.

In the twenty-second chapter of the gospel of Matthew, Jesus was questioned about the greatest commandment. He responded that the greatest commandment is this: “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.” He then added, “And the second is like it: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”

Then Jesus dropped the bombshell. He concluded that the entire Bible was fulfilled in those two commandments.

In other words, if we love God and others properly we have done everything God wants us to do. You see, neither God nor the Bible makes sense until we realize they are all about relationships.

In fact, life doesn’t make sense until it is about relationships.

We live in a crazy, fast-paced world where people are under more stress than ever before—but for what? Parents are spending less time with their children. Most couples are struggling to get time together when they aren’t exhausted.

More and more believers are compromising their relationships with God because of busy schedules and fatigue.

As in Schindler’s List, many people today never stop and focus on what really is important until tragedy strikes. I sat with a family once who had gathered for a funeral for one of their loved ones. As they ate a meal together after the funeral, they loved on each other, renewed their relationships, laughed, talked and cried. Several times I heard them saying, “Why do we only get together like this when someone dies?”

This edition of our magazine covers the season of two major holidays—Thanksgiving and Christmas. I encourage you to remember that both of these holidays are about God and family. Don’t let anything rob you of the joys of spending time worshipping God and enjoying each other.

It’s what life is all about and it shouldn’t take a tragedy to make it happen.

Have a blessed Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year, and I hope you enjoy the magazine.

Jimmy Evans

Copyright ©2007 by MarriageToday™ All rights reserved. Reproduction without permission is prohibited. Printed in the USA.

win te r 2007 | marriage to day.o rg

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by Jimmy Evans

h

ow was he to know?

How could he have foreseen that this was going to be the most momentous night in all of human history?

That frazzled innkeeper in Bethlehem didn’t get advance warning that the knock about to sound upon the door of his overcrowded establishment would be heard around the world.

What an opportunity! What potential blessing and joy stood at his threshold! Christmas came to him that night. But he missed it.

Why? He was simply too busy.

He wouldn’t be the last person to ever miss Christmas that way.

Far from it. In fact, as I look back on my own life I can see occasions in which I’ve had so many “urgent” things going on, I missed something truly important.

I’ve even missed a Christmas or two. Too busy.

Married couples can miss Christmas, too. I hear about it all the time. That’s why, here at the beginning of the busy holiday season, I feel compelled to bring this to your attention.

Let’s face it—life can be hectic. It takes a conscientious effort to prioritize our lives. And when holiday preparations, shopping and activities are added to an already full schedule, it is easy to become overwhelmed and leave the great blessing and joy of Christmas shivering on our doorsteps. »

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be out of control

That innkeeper wasn’t the only one to miss that first Christmas.

King Herod missed it, too. But not because he was too busy.

He missed it for a different reason. He was afraid.

As you’ll remember, when the wise men went to Herod, they said, “We’ve seen His star in the east, and we’ve come to worship this new King.”

Herod was fearful that somebody would take over his throne. He was so determined to stay in control that he, too, missed all the wonder and blessing that would have come with the privilege of looking upon and welcoming “Emmanuel”—God with us!

We shouldn’t be too quick to judge him, though. I come across couples every week who are just as fearful about the same thing. They’re scared stiff of the prospect of submitting their own agendas and wants to each other.

A blessed family is a family that daily surrenders to God. When you do that, you are acknowledging that you’re not in control—God is in control.

Small wars about different things have been fought without either party realizing “control” was the root cause. Contention in your home largely can be attributed to a battle of the wills, a tug-of-war between your will and your spouse’s.

The answer to this dilemma is fairly simple. You both must be submitted to one will—God’s will. He has your best interest at heart. His will is always good and right. When you and your spouse are yielded to God and daily saying to Him, “Thy will be done in our lives and in our marriage,”

love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind

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not only are you in agreement with each other, but you are also in agreement with God. And the door of blessing will open to you.

Before you begin your day—before you put on your makeup, or go Christmas shopping, or go to work, or begin decorating the house—submit your will to God. Every day, especially during the holidays, pray, “Thy kingdom come, thy will be done.”

A blessed family is a family that daily surrenders to God. When you do that, you are acknowledging that you’re not in control—God is in control. And when God is in control, fear loses its foothold.

Don’t be like Herod and miss Christmas because of fear— fear of surrendering all to Jesus, fear of surrendering control to each other.

enjoy the moment

The Pharisees, the Sadducees, and the rest of the religious establishment missed Christmas for an entirely different reason.

This is especially ironic because these people had spent their whole educational careers looking forward to the coming of the Messiah. When the wise men showed up and said, “We’ve seen the star of a new King. Where will this birth take place?” they immediately quoted Micah 5:2 and said, “Bethlehem!”

But they didn’t go to Bethlehem, did they? They didn’t bother to check it out. Yet it’s only about five miles from Jerusalem to Bethlehem!

They’d spent a lifetime anticipating the Messiah’s arrival.

Yet they stayed home.

Why? Because these religious leaders were so focused on something that was going to happen in the future, they missed the blessing of the present.

Life is not about yesterday or tomorrow. It’s not about attaining some future goal—it’s about today. Notice that the greatest commandments of all, Jesus said, are to “love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the first and great commandment.

And the second is like it: you shall love your neighbor as [you love] yourself. On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets” (Matthew 22:37–40 NKJV).

It’s sad to think that many of us ruin our lives and families by constantly looking for fulfillment in the future rather than enjoying the present.

In a nutshell, Jesus was communicating that we are to love God first and right now—not tomorrow, and not ten years from now. Today, love God and love the people around you. That isn’t hard to do when you realize that all of life’s true blessings and God’s rewards flow from relationships.

To God, life consists of the quality of our daily existence, and revolves around prioritized, loving relationships.

It’s sad to think that many of us ruin our lives and families by constantly looking for fulfillment in the future rather than enjoying the present. Each and every day we should be saying, “This is the day which the Lord has brought about;

we will rejoice and be glad in it” (Psalm 118:24). It’s interesting to note that the very next verse talks about success and prosperity: “Save now, we beseech You, O Lord; send now prosperity, O Lord, we beseech You, and give to us success!”

(The Amplified Bible).

Rejoicing in the day, and recognizing God in it, brings joy and blessings.

The Messiah was born and the religious leaders were too busy with their rituals and their religious activities to take notice. Rather than cultivating a relationship with God, they were caught up in the pursuit of knowledge and their hearts had grown cold and indifferent.

We can miss Christmas for that same reason. I see it all the time—Christians who at one time were stirred and touched by the reality that “God so loved the world” but now have heard the story so many times, they’ve lost their sense of wonder. They’ve lost the zeal that once consumed them. They no longer see the majesty of God in the moment.

But not everyone missed Christmas that night. »

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seek and ye shall find

When you contrast the shepherds and the wise men, you see something very interesting. Here you have the lowest rung of society and the highest echelons of the elite, kneeling side by side at the feet of a baby.

These people had something in common—all were seeking God. They all had an attitude of reverence and worship for the Lord. As a result, these men were privileged to witness what only a handful did.

This familiar passage of scripture tells us the shepherds were out in the field with their flock when the angel said to them:

“Do not be afraid, for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy which will be to all people. For there is born to you this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. And this will be the sign to you: You will find a Babe wrapped in swaddling cloths, lying in a manger.” And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying: “Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, goodwill toward men!”

So it was, when the angels had gone away from them into heaven, that the shepherds said to one another, “Let us now go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has come to pass, which the Lord has made known to us.” And they came with haste and found Mary and Joseph, and the Babe lying in a manger. Now when they had seen Him, they made widely known the saying which was told them concerning this Child. And all those who heard it marveled at those things which were told them by the shepherds (Luke 2:8–18 NKJV).

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It’s open for all people to come to Jesus— to worship Him, to have relationship with Him and know Him intimately.

Notice how these men were quick to act on what the Lord had made known to them. They immediately went to Bethlehem where their encounter with the Messiah changed their lives. God used them in a profound way.

The wise men had been seeking God with a sense of anticipation for they came to Jerusalem saying, “Where is He who has been born King of the Jews? For we have seen His star in the East and have come to worship Him” (Matthew 2:2 NKJV).

These men weren’t just going through religious motions— they were keenly in tune to the Spirit of God. He was in control of their lives. They were able to discern the signs of the times—not merely live for what would happen in the future or dwell on what had happened in the past. They did not miss out on what God had for them because they had taken time to establish relationship with Him and seek Him. As a result, the shepherds and wise men alike came to the same blessed assurance—that this was the Savior of the world! This was the Son of God. They didn’t miss Christmas.

And that tells us it’s available for everybody! It’s open for all people to come to Jesus—to worship Him, to have relationship with Him and know Him intimately.

Join me, won’t you, in purposing not to miss Christmas in your marriage and home this year?

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prepare for

“When the enemy comes in like a flood, the Spirit of the Lord will lift up a standard against him.�

I s ai ah 5 9 : 1 9 N K J V

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i

by Karen Evans

think we all can agree that the enemy is flooding the world.

Turbulent waters are all around us. However, the good news for Christians is that we have a banner of protection over our lives. We don’t have to be swallowed up by the cares of the world, or overwhelmed by waves of stress. Unfortunately, as we approach the holiday season, what should be a time of thankfulness and a time for enjoying family often can be spoiled by the pressure of buying, spending, hurrying and exhaustion. As we strive to create the holiday of our dreams, we spend time searching for the best recipes, preparing all the food we will eat, shopping for the right gifts, and then we’re left with trying to figure out how to pay for it! The stress of reaching all these goals can cause us to feel overwhelmed, frustrated and even disappointed. We can go into or come out of the holiday season feeling depressed.

In writing an article for the holidays, I could offer a lot of “good ideas” (and I will) but I am impressed to offer you Truth first.

practicing peace The truth is as Christians we have been given a gift. In John 14:27, Jesus tells us He has given us the gift of peace.

“I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart,” He said. “The peace I give is not like the world gives. So don’t be troubled or afraid.”

The Amplified Bible says it this way: “Stop allowing yourselves to be agitated and disturbed.”

Jesus has provided the answer to the need we have for peace in our hearts.

We must receive and act on that gift by faith—faith in Jesus and His Word. This

holiday season is a perfect time to practice and believe in this gift. You can begin obtaining that peace by telling God what you need and thanking Him for all He has done. Philippians 4:6–7 says, “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus” (New Living Translation).

The verse before this says we’re to “rejoice in everything.”

Jimmy and I can experience a lot of stress and pain from circumstances. But the Lord has told us to be thankful; also He has told us to pray and not worry. To do that, we need a lot of grace, His favor.

We both know that trouble is part of this world. When I am overwhelmed, I need the peace of God. His peace gives me the ability to take my eyes off the waves and keep them on Jesus.

I was encouraged this morning as I read Romans 14:17, which tells us that the Kingdom of God is not a matter of what we eat or drink, but of living a life of goodness, PEACE and joy. This chapter is exhorting Christians to accept each other and not to look down on others for their eating habits or celebrations. Our life IS more than eating, drinking, and shopping. It is all about relationships and loving each other.

make this a season for connecting This season of holidays let’s begin with our spouses. Walk in peace, pray about everything and be thankful for what the Lord has given us. In practical terms, we must strive to communicate honestly with each other and voice our expectations. Don’t make decisions without

each other. Discuss now the expectations of how you will spend your time, with whom and when. Talk about the money now. Don’t wait till your credit card is maxed out.

It’s also important to protect your time alone as a couple. If the only time you can squeeze in is having morning coffee together, going for a walk, or sharing a dessert somewhere—make that time meaningful. Tell each other that no one else is as important. When caught up in extended family gatherings, make sure to notice your spouse by word or touch.

I want to close by encouraging you to begin asking God for peace in your life now. It has been given to us, but we have to walk by faith. Go to your Bible and study peace. One of my favorite teachers, Joyce Meyer, says, “If you need it,” (peace, for example) “study and meditate on it.” She also wrote a good book on peace. Fill yourself with peace now, and then you will be able to give peace to others. Planning ahead helps with the stress.

Build your home on the foundation and truth of God’s Word—it never changes. This holiday is only a season. Remember what is really important: love for your spouse, and love for others. Walk in peace, joy and His love.

Know that Jimmy and I love you and we are praying this will be a season of peace and blessing for you and your family.

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&

BUSINESS

marriage T H E C O O P E R S T O R Y

o the refining process that business has on a marriage resembles the subtle nuances of bread baking. You take fresh ingredients, put them through the harshest of circumstances and in the end, if you’ ve follo w e d t h e p r o c e s s cor rectly, you have a beautiful, satisfying product.

B

ut why do sane couples become entrepreneurs?

Primarily, the reason is freedom. Most people desire financial liberation. Also, some people become so passionate about what they do, they can’t imagine doing anything else—and they can’t envision working for anyone else but themselves.

They need freedom from the ordinary, the mundane, the nine-to-five. It’s why every day you encounter “moms and pops” who own the dry cleaners, café, convenience store, etc. in your neighborhood.

What must a couple sacrifice, however, in order to achieve business success? How does a marriage hold up when it’s put under the ruthless demands of business pressure? We will discover the answer by taking a closer look at one entrepreneurial couple’s story.

“ We are very appreciative of the hard times we’ ve been through… One of us wa s a lway s l i f t i n g t h e other one up when the hard times came.”

by Brenton Evans

In the Beginning Meet Clint and Kim Cooper, a photogenic couple broaching their 30s. I had a chance to sit down with the Coopers recently and talk to them about the complexity and pressure that comes from mixing business and marriage. Even though they’ve only been married for a little more than six years, both possess business and relationship wisdom well beyond their years.

Clint and Kim met their last semester at Texas Tech. What attracted them to one another?

“It was his looks, of course,” Kim said with honest laughter, but went on to say that their connection was based more upon foundational aspects, including faith, personality and communication.

Communication meaning Kim did most of the talking.

She described Clint as the shy one. In fact, she said she was surprised that Clint approached her in the first place. But she was glad he made the first move.

“He was everything I dreamed of,” she admitted.

A Storybook Romance After college, Clint found himself on an accelerated career path with Dell Computers. Kim followed a different route and spent some time pursuing her design talents in New York. The two dated long distance for a time until Kim moved to Austin to be closer to Clint.

It wasn’t long before Clint was ready to “pop the question.”

He coordinated a trip back to New York and proposed to Kim at the top of the Empire State Building—and according to Kim, Clint was in full romantic fashion. »

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Exactly one year later to the day, Kim and Clint exchanged vows on the plains of the Texas panhandle, in the church built by Kim’s grandfather. Their wedding was of the storybook variety. “It was the most amazing hour of my life,” said Kim without hesitation. “The Holy Spirit was present.”

The newlyweds rounded off their romantic nuptials with a honeymoon in France, but the Coopers faced grim reality upon return.

Clint’s job as a top salesman at Dell was hanging in the balance with rumors of layoffs and cutbacks.

The Discovery of a Passion Both knew change was on the horizon, so they spent a lot of time praying and soul searching. It was during this process that Clint uncovered his true passion: Cooking. Remarkably, soon after this discovery, Clint applied and was accepted into the prestigious Le Cordon Bleu culinary institute in Phoenix, Arizona.

Kim didn’t feel like Phoenix was the right move, so they journeyed to Amarillo, Texas, instead to be closer to her family. Clint quickly found a job in consulting. Not only was the job unfulfilling for Clint, but when September 11, 2001 came around, it sent a discouraging blow to the local economy.

The small business Clint worked for didn’t make it, and the Coopers confess that this time period tested their faith.

As Clint was job hunting in Amarillo he visited a family friend to apply for a brokerage job. The gentleman didn’t have an opening for Clint, but was absolutely determined— once he learned of Clint’s culinary passions—to get Clint to help out in his family’s bakery.

Clint accepted, and started at a pay rate close to minimum wage. He recalls long days making $5.25 an hour until he was given a raise to $6 an hour. This was a humble adjustment from the six-figure salary he made at Dell.

But, even though the experience at the bakery in Amarillo was invaluable, eventually Clint and Kim knew it wasn’t going to pan out quite like they hoped. So they decided to move once more.

______________________________________________________________________________________________

Find out more about the Coopers at www.villagebakingco.com.

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In Pursuit of a Dream Off to Dallas they went, and it was back to the corporate world for Clint. He was good at his new job, and he excelled, but he still longed for the culinary life. It was all he could think and talk about. Kim knew how he felt and finally one day she spoke up.

“Honey, quit the bank, and let’s start our own bakery!”

Kim implored Clint over the phone one day. “We’re young, we don’t have kids and now is the time to take advantage of this opportunity.”

It didn’t take much prodding for Clint. That phone call was made on a Tuesday. By Thursday of the same week they had already found a spot for their bakery.

Clint went to San Francisco and spent some time studying exactly how he wanted to operate the bakery. And despite limited funds, in 2003, Clint and Kim opened the doors to their new bakery in Colleyville, Texas.

That’s when Stephanie, my wife, and I discovered them.

I can tell you firsthand that their bakery was sensational.

When you stepped through the door you felt like you were in a different city. It was a mixture of Paris, San Francisco and New York. The walls of the bakery were adorned with big black-and-white wedding photos of Kim and Clint, and a beautiful assortment of fresh pastries and breads filled a long display case. Kim worked behind the counter, greeting every customer with a smile, while Clint managed the kitchen and prepared the food.

There was obviously something contagious about what the Coopers were doing because word spread quickly about their new business. People told friends, who told their friends, and pretty soon the bakery was getting write-ups in large magazines and newspapers. Their dreams were coming true.

Sort of.

The Business Takes Its Toll The truth was that the bakery was exceptionally demanding.

Clint was up at 4 a.m. every morning preparing food for the day. Kim worked the front of the store and had her hands full attending to customers. There was no break. The bakery was their life.

“It took 16–17 hours a day of work, just to pay the bills.”

Clint recounted.

The bakery redefined the Coopers. Kim, once able to shop and enjoy time to herself, found there was neither time nor money to do anything she desired.

Add in the fact that Kim got pregnant soon after the bakery opened, and it’s easy to understand how the stress level wasn’t something they prepared for.

tips for

mixing

business & marriage 1 prioritize your relationships

4 avoid debt

Your priority list, in order of importance, should be: God, Spouse, Children, Business.

This is something not everyone is accustomed to doing, but you should definitely strive to grow your business debt-free!

2 prioritize your marriage This stands to be repeated. Set aside regular time each week to spend with your spouse and protect that time!

5 be pa tient Don’t expect to hit it big right off the bat.

Your payday will only come after much diligent effort.

3 find a mentor Look for someone you both trust and make sure this person shares your values.

“There was a point in time when I said to myself, ‘Who is this guy? This is not what I dreamed of. I live in a onebedroom apartment, I work like a slave and on top of that I’m pregnant. This is not what he promised me. He told me on the top of the Empire State Building that he wanted to make my dreams come true, and this is NOT making my dreams come true,’” said Kim. And the communication challenges that were present at the beginning of their marriage only grew during the tough times. “We’re always working on communication,” Clint said. And he admitted that he still struggles with this area.

The Financial Strain But the hard times were definitely there. Clint soberly remembered washing dishes, thinking how there was no money to pay their employees the next day. “I recall times where we had $300 in our bank account, but we actually needed $1700.”

Another caveat was the location of the bakery. Six to eight months after they opened, Clint realized the developer of their shopping center wasn’t going to live up to the promises he made. And after two years, Clint clearly saw the writing on the wall. He knew that the bakery—even with all the good reviews and loyal customers—would only barely survive if they stayed where they were. He also knew there were limitations on their business—and that those limitations would continue to put stress on their finances and marriage.

“We have a product here that people want,” Clint told Kim one day. “But we’re going to have to turn the bakery into a wholesale business if it’s going to succeed.”

Soon after this discussion they found their first wholesale customer, a well-known local deli.

Business & Risk Risk is repeatedly touted as something that defines success in business. An entrepreneur has to be willing to take calculated risks when the opportunity presents itself. Well, Clint is definitely a risk-taker. He took a risk when he decided to close the beloved bakery they’d worked so hard to build over the past two years and focus solely on selling his bread wholesale.

He began baking and delivering bread from his home.

It was back to humble beginnings, but fortunately Clint and Kim didn’t have to stay there long. Pretty soon the word got out about Clint’s new wholesale bread-baking company, and Kim and Clint had to find a place to handle the volume of orders they were receiving.

Investors came calling too. In a twist of fate, one of the investors was the uncle of Clint’s roommate from Austin.

A successful entrepreneur himself, he had the capital and the contacts to help get the Coopers’ wholesale business off the ground.

“It was absolutely a God thing,” Kim elated.

I interviewed Kim and Clint for this article at their current business location. They were two weeks away from moving to a warehouse three times larger.

“The business is doing great, and we’re about to start a frozen line of bread products that we believe will help our company do even better,” said Clint in a casual yet visionary style. With increasing orders from local grocery stores and restaurants, Clint believes that there is literally no end in sight for where the business could grow.

Leaving a Legacy I asked Clint if he’d recommend business ownership to other couples. “It all depends on the people involved,” he said.

He elaborated that it takes a solid relationship foundation and a dedication to working hard.

“We are very appreciative of the hard times we’ve been through,” Kim mentioned. And both said they look forward to the day when they can teach their kids the value of a strong work ethic.

When I asked them how they endured the financial pressure, Clint said, “One of us was always lifting the other one up when the hard times came.”

There is definitely a spirit of optimism among the couple.

“We want to leave a legacy for our children,” they both said.

Even though they still have a lot of hard work ahead of them, it’s easy to see that the Coopers are destined to achieve that legacy. They are well on their way to accomplishing a storybook ending to the romance that began years ago on the West Texas plains.

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something for your bookshelf

all of us at MarriageToday send you our warmest greetings this Christmas.

May the coming year be one of great increase, in your marriage, in your home and in every area of your life.

Here you will find some prayerfully selected resources that we believe will be a great help to you and to everyone you share them with. These make wonderful gifts because there are few greater blessings than that of strong, healthy relationships.

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two tickets…

secrets revealed

…to a marriage that is a paradise on earth. Believe it or not, that’s actually what God designed marriage to be! And as Jimmy Evans points out in his powerful book, a marriage that is a “secret paradise” for you and your spouse is something that is attainable, here and now. With God’s eternal principles as your roadmap, let Jimmy Evans show you how to get there.

Get this book!

What do the most successful families know and do that perhaps you don’t? That’s the question Jimmy Evans answers in his book, 7 Secrets of Successful Families. Inside, you’ll find solutions to common challenges such as how to communicate sensitive family issues, establish a healthy balance of affection and accountability, maintain correct priorities, and much more. Learn these secrets, treasure them…and your family won’t be the same.

Our Secret Paradise hardcover book by Jimmy Evans BK60 ................................$18.95

7 Secrets of Successful Families softcover book by Jimmy Evans BK07 ................................$12.95

for

everyone

this holiday season for your CD player

retreat to advance

freedom in 2008

rebuild your marriage

divorce proof!

The Mountaintop of Marriage: A Vision Retreat Guidebook for Couples is a powerful 40-page resource which guides you step-by-step on a journey of revelation and vision for your family. With thoughtprovoking questions and a 12-month planning calendar, couples can record what God speaks to them, as well as milestone events and family accomplishments. It will surely result in a treasured family keepsake to be referenced in the years to come.

By all means take a vision retreat as a couple, but be sure you take this guidebook with you when you go!

We live in a world filled with seductive imagery and explicit sexuality. At every turn lies a snare that can entangle even the most committed Christian. But here is good news: Jimmy Evans’ powerful 115page book entitled A Mind Set Free brings you the keys to freedom. On its pages, Jimmy Evans exposes The Secret of Satan’s Success, and reveals The Promise and Process of Biblical Meditation, as well as The Four Pillars of Moral Integrity. As you apply the truths from this book, you’ll find yourself equipped to fight and win the battle for your freedom.

Discover the accessible truths and insights that have been instrumental in putting countless couples on the road to harmony and happiness together. In Marriage on the Rock, Jimmy reveals little-known but powerful truths such as the Four Foundational Laws of Marriage and why ignoring them is so destructive to relationships, the characteristics of a Destructive Husband or a Destructive Wife and how they can be wondrously transformed, and so much more.

The Mountaintop of Marriage guidebook/journal by Jimmy Evans BK13 ................................$14.95

A Mind Set Free softcover mini book by Jimmy Evans BK16 ..................................$4.95

We’re living in a time in which weak and vulnerable relationships—even between committed believers—frequently shatter under the pressure. But it doesn’t have to be that way! In The Indestructible Marriage, you’ll discover the practical measures you can take to strengthen your relationship into a rock-solid fortress of love and harmony. In these powerful sessions Jimmy exposes the forces that weaken your marriage and shows you how to neutralize their corrosive effects. No matter what the current condition of your marriage, it can be truly “indestructible.” Let this powerful seminar series put you on that road to security and safety.

Marriage on the Rock audio teaching by Jimmy Evans 10 sessions on 5 CDs CD011 .............................$29.95

The Indestructible Marriage audio teaching by Jimmy Evans 6 sessions on 4 CDs CD78 ...............................$29.95

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…all DVDs are for your DVD player

abundance in God

go higher, do better

your successful family

our flagship marriage resource

Far too many people view God as stingy, hard and prone to withhold blessing from them. But as Jimmy Evans points out in this powerful series, the truth is just the opposite. As you listen, your faith, trust and confidence in God will grow, and your ability to receive from Him, right along with it. Discover the keys to experiencing true abundance in God. Discover The God of Too Much!

For too many and for far too long, the word “Christian” has been associated with poor quality and low standards.

It is as if we have believed that if it was for God it could be done badly as long as we meant well. Jimmy Evans shatters this myth in the revolutionary teaching titled, The Power of Excellence. In it, he not only shows us how excellence is the key to fulfilling our salt-and-light mission to the world, he points us to a higher level of relationship with God.

Families that thrive and prosper, that are fully functional and whole, have some common habits. In this important series, Jimmy Evans identifies those habits and shows you how to make them a part of your home. As you listen, you’ll find solutions to common challenges such as how to communicate sensitive family issues, establish a healthy balance of affection and accountability, maintain correct priorities and much more. Learn these secrets, treasure them…and your family won’t be the same.

Here, Jimmy Evans brings you the clear and powerful insights that have helped tens of thousands of couples turn disillusioned, divorce-bound marriages into satisfying, dream relationships. Session titles include Four Foundational Laws of Marriage, Understanding and Meeting Your Spouse’s Needs, Skills for Positive Communication, Sexual Fulfillment and much more.

The God of Too Much audio teaching by Jimmy Evans 3 sessions on 3 CDs CD61 ...............................$17.95

Power of Excellence audio teaching by Jimmy Evans 2 sessions on 2 CDs CD37 ...............................$11.95

7 Secrets of Successful Families audio teaching by Jimmy Evans 7 sessions on 6 CDs CD07 ...............................$35.95

Marriage on the Rock 10 sessions on 5 DVDs regularly $99.95..........now $74.95 MDVD01

To order, use the enclosed form, call toll-free 1-800-380-6330, or order online at marriagetoday.org

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25% off through the end of the year!*

ALL DVD S

25%

OFF *

when ordering online, use the 25% discount code MG1107DVD heaven on earth

you’ve been lied to

achieve relational greatness

Marriage was meant to be a paradise.

That’s not just a dream, a wish, or a childhood fantasy. Believe it or not, it’s actually what God designed marriage to be! And as Jimmy Evans points out in his powerful new seminar, a marriage that is a “secret paradise” for you and your spouse is something that is attainable, here and now.

In this new seminar, Jimmy helps you take hold of the triumphant reality that there is a place of harmony and mutual fulfillment waiting for you and your spouse.

With God’s eternal principles from the Bible as your roadmap, Jimmy Evans shows you how to get there!

In this timely teaching taken from Genesis 3, Jimmy Evans tears back the deceptive cover of Satan’s lies, his attacks on human sexuality, and his conspiracy to distort God’s perfect design for marriage. As you watch, you’ll come to understand: • the importance of sanctifying sex within the marriage relationship • the nature of adultery and the spirit behind it • common and current misconceptions about sex • the stigma of shame and how to replace it with God’s truth about sexual expression • the steps to walk free from shame and sexual sin

Truly great marriages have some common characteristics. They are the insights, viewpoints, habits and techniques that cause relationships to flourish. The good news is, you can put these elements to work in your relationship. And in his resource titled Every Great Marriage, Jimmy Evans shows you how! In this DVD series, Jimmy brings you deep, specific wisdom on each of the seven key elements that characterize the strongest, most fulfilling marriages. You’ll discover how to be a great wife, a great husband, and how to build a great home. But that’s not all. You get a special bonus session titled The Mountaintop of Marriage that deals specifically with the whys and hows of a marriage “vision retreat.”

Our Secret Paradise 7 sessions on 3 DVDs regularly $59.95..........now $44.95 MDVD60

The Fig Leaf Conspiracy 5 sessions on 2 DVDs regularly $59.95..........now $44.95 MDVD75

Every Great Marriage 5 sessions + bonus teaching on 2 DVDs regularly $59.95 ...........now $44.95 MDVD77

more DVDs at a special price!

The Indestructible Marriage 6 sessions on 2 DVDs MDVD78...............regularly $59.95 now $44.95 Building an Emotionally Healthy Marriage 4 sessions on 2 DVDs MDVD41...............regularly $39.95 now $29.95 Return to Intimacy 5 sessions on 2 DVDs MDVD76...............regularly $59.95 now $44.95

for your iPod or MP3 player Check out these new downloads now available at marriagetoday.org Return to Intimacy Building an Emotionally Healthy Marriage Freedom From Your Past The Sweet Life Intimacy With God Our Secret Paradise

marriagetoday.org *DVD discount valid through December 31, 2007 To order online, use the discount code MG1107DVD.

family life

...... is full of challenges and rewards. Stepfamily life is no different.

Sarah knows just what I mean: “My first marriage to John was a battle from the day it started. I wanted romance and an intimate union; he wanted independence and freedom. He finally found it with another woman. But this marriage to Hector is everything I dreamed about. We laugh, share decisions, and have the same outlook on life. God is the center of our marriage. Things would be great if it were just Hector and me, but it’s not. When my kids are with their father for the weekend, Hector and I relax and enjoy each other. But when they’re here, the house is tense. I feel guilty because of all the stress.”

......

It is estimated that 30% of all weddings in the U.S. today form stepfamilies.

Some follow the death of a spouse or a divorce; still others are formed when a marriage takes place after an out-ofwedlock birth. But no matter what preceded the union, stepfamilies—like

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all families—have unforeseen pressures and challenges that eventually give way to tremendous rewards. For Sarah, life may feel like two steps forward and one step back. But as long as they don’t look back, stepfamily success will come once they take these six steps forward.

by Ron L. Deal

forward >>

not looking back

STEP Up to discover a God who loves

STEP Down your expectations of how

Two STEP. The marriage relationship

and forgives those in stepfamilies. Stepfamilies are not always born from sinful behavior (as many Christians assume), but even “biblically innocent” stepfamilies often feel unworthy of God’s full redemption since their family doesn’t match God’s ideal design for the home.

That’s why many stepfamilies are relieved to realize that none of the Old Testament families were perfect, and most didn’t resemble God’s ideal family model. Still, God loved them and used them for His purposes. Abraham’s, Isaac’s, Jacob’s, and David’s families— just to name a few—were all less than ideal. Yet God’s redemption applied to them as well. Stepfamilies don’t have to live in fear that their spiritual past will forever haunt them, for God’s grace is always available to restore hope.

quickly your stepfamily will integrate.

“Why won’t my son talk to his stepfather when he has a question about school?”

Carol asked me. “Tim is a nice guy, and he’s a lot better at math than I am,” she continued. Carol wanted so much for her son Jamie to feel just as comfortable with his stepfather as he did with her that she pressured Jamie to pursue a deeper relationship with Tim. Jamie and Tim got along already, just not as well as Carol had hoped.

Stepfamilies must be patient with the process of relationship building— sometimes called integration. The average stepfamily needs around seven years to really form a family identity. Furthermore, pressure from parents often creates resistance in children, which means a big step backward for the stepparent.

Learning to accept and appreciate relationships as they are today, not worrying about tomorrow, contributes to a more relaxed family and greater harmony.

is by far the most important earthly relationship in the stepfamily home, yet it is often the weakest. Parents and children have a bond forged by blood; the new couple’s bond is literally an add-on relationship. Making the marriage a relational priority is critical to …for stepfamilies that hold God’s hand, and trust Him to show the way, the journey to the Promised Land is worth the wait.

family success. For biological parents, this means balancing time and energy given to children and the marriage, but it also means communicating to your children through actions that the marriage is unbreakable and that the couple will lead the home together. Children are often threatened by this change at first, but once they accept it, experience safety and security. »

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forward >>

not looking back

STEP in Line with all the adults (of both

homes) who have parental influence with the children. Children in stepfamilies often have three to five (sometimes more!) adults who contribute to their daily care. Adults must strive to work in cooperation with as many of the other adults as possible. For example, initially stepparents must learn to borrow power from the biological parent in order to carry out and enforce discipline. They can’t stand on their own power until they have developed a trustbond with the children; this can take many years, depending on the age of the child. Biological parents must show respect toward the stepparent and make them an equal partner in parenting decisions so that children also gain respect for the stepparent.

Children in stepfamilies frequently have another home to which they belong. Adults, especially ex-spouses, need to cooperate as the children move back and forth. However, strong negative emotions and a painful past make this level of cooperative co-parenting very difficult. Christian stepcouples need to demonstrate a significant amount of grace and forgiveness in these situations so that children aren’t caught in ongoing battles.

key stepping stones for the journey perseverance

flexibility

The first few years are often the most difficult. Set your mind to persevere until rewards come.

Because stepfamilies are different than biological families in many ways, you will have to find creative solutions to many everyday issues. You can’t afford to be rigid.

The average stepfamily takes 7 years to integrate. Warm relationships might not come for many years, so be patient.

listening Bio parents and stepparents experience their family differently, as do bio children and stepchildren. Learn to consider what it must be like to be another in your home so you can empathize with their concerns.

humor In the midst of a chaotic moment, humor is definitely the best medicine for stepfamilies. Humor helps you to step back from the crisis or circumstance and see it in a whole new light.

......

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even knowing it, many adults overlook common struggles within their home.

For example, children who continue to be sad about the loss of previous relationships need their grief acknowledged and should be granted permission to grieve. Connections to the past should be honored and respected, not shoved in the closet. In addition, traditions celebrating holidays and special days should be kept when appropriate while the new stepfamily creates some of their own unique traditions. This allows persons to carry their past with them while they connect with new relationships in the present.

STEP Through the wilderness with trust

......

patience

Side STEP common pitfalls. Without

and determination. Like Moses and the Israelites headed for the Promised Land, developing a healthy stepfamily is a journey—sometimes a long journey.

Remaining dedicated to gradually forming a family identity is critical. Stepcouples attending my stepfamily conference often ask, “So, where’s our honeymoon?”

I’m quick to give them hope: “There is a honeymoon for stepcouples. But as for the Israelites, the ‘honeymoon’ comes at the end of the journey, not at the beginning!”

Stepfamilies—just like all families— can be places of warmth, love, and belonging. They can also be filled with many unforeseen challenges. But for stepfamilies that hold God’s hand, and trust Him to show the way, the journey to the Promised Land is worth the wait. __________________________________________________________________

Ron L. Deal is Founder and President of Successful Stepfamilies and author of The Smart Stepfamily: Seven Steps to a Healthy Family. His ministry has been featured on numerous TV and radio broadcasts throughout the country. Find conference locations, resources, and sign up for his free monthly e-magazine at www.SuccessfulStepfamilies.com.

ask Jimmy!

Q:

My spouse and I have a difficult time communicating properly. We tend to say negative, hurtful words rather than encouraging each other more. How can we begin a more positive way of communicating in our marriage?

A:

That’s a vital question because a good relationship begins with good communication. A large volume of positive words is what creates a good marriage. If a couple does not communicate at all or if they do not speak positive words to each other, their marriage will be difficult.

Proverbs 18 is a very important scripture related to communication in marriage.

Verses 20–21 say, “A man’s stomach shall be satisfied from the fruit of his mouth; from the produce of his lips he shall be filled. Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” Many people are familiar with these verses but they don’t necessarily associate them with the next verse which talks specifically about marriage.

It says, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing.”

…to communicate effectively, first voice your commitment to your marriage, and then express the way you feel…

Literally, the power of death and life in our marriage resides within our tongues. All of us have the ability to speak life-giving words that will build a great relationship. In the same way, our words can have a devastating effect in our marriage. So, it’s important to learn how to address frustrations and problems without doing damage to the relationship.

According to research, a conversation never rises above the first three minutes.

If the tone of the conversation is negative at the onset, you’ll not be able to pull it around to a positive no matter how long you talk.

That means one key component in communicating well is to begin a conversation with your spouse with affirmation. You could say something like, “I think you are great. You know I love you. We are on the same team and right now I want to talk about some things that are troubling me.”

Then express your feelings. You have the right to complain but not the right to criticize.

Complaining means you are talking about you and how you feel.

Criticism accuses, interprets the meaning of the actions of the other person and passes judgment.

So, to communicate effectively, first voice your commitment to your marriage, and then express the way you feel about the incident. Using this technique, you and your spouse can work through frustrations and problems.

Take on one problem at a time. Be patient with the process, remembering a large volume of positive words produces a good marriage. _________________________________________________________________

need an answer? find it at marriagetoday.org… take advantage of our FREE extensive online resources and find biblical solutions for marriage, family and relationship issues.

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b r e a k i n g old resolutions brings resolution As 2007 draws to a close and we look ahead to 2008, it’s natural for us to stop and ask ourselves some hard questions, such as: “What have I accomplished this year? Have I grown or developed as a husband, father, wife or mother? Is my family better off than it was a year ago?

Have I achieved any of the goals or objectives I set for myself?”

For most of us, the answers to those questions—if we’re really honest about it—are a little disappointing. It’s so easy to live week-to-week in survival mode while a year slips away without us accomplishing any of the things that really matter.

As you may know, research shows that very few people follow through with their resolutions. Will that be the case in our lives again? Or will we be looking back 12 months from now at tangible spiritual growth and strengthened relationships in our homes?

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The fact is, this upcoming year can be a magnificent year of strengthened relationships and growth in God. Part of the key to that success is found in Habakkuk 2:2:

“Write the vision and make it plain on tablets, that he may run who reads it.”

If you and I are faithful to carry out the vision the Lord has given us, before 2008 draws to a close, we will be positioned to minister to our families and bless others in powerful new ways.

That said, what I’m about to write may surprise you.

Before you begin to make those fresh, new resolutions, I want to encourage you first to break some old ones!

Let me explain.

by Jimmy Evans

the problem with inner vows

Come on, Jimmy…are you trying to tell me that some vow I made to myself when I was a kid actually could be impacting my life today?

obstacles to a great marriage To begin with, I want you to know that Karen and I, along with the whole team here at MarriageToday, are more committed than ever to bringing you the tools to build an awesome marriage and a strong, stable home.

Your family really does have a great future! I can see it.

And I want you to see it too. And to live it. That’s why I plan to help you in every way I can to discover and apply the keys to having a great relationship. I want to help you remove the obstacles that stand between you and the great marriage God desires for you.

And there is one type of obstacle that is very common but little-known and little-understood. It is the source of a lot of conflict, misunderstanding and inability to make lasting changes in relationships.

That obstacle involves something very similar to a New Year’s resolution—only much more intense and spiritually significant.

I’m talking about something called “inner vows.”

An inner vow is a solemn promise you swear to yourself in your heart. It is a self-directed oath resulting from a deep hurt or wound. Often this hurt was inflicted by a parent or loved one when you were a child.

“I’ll never let anyone get that close to me again.”

“No one else is ever going to control me or tell me what to do.”

“I’ll never be disappointed like that again.”

“I’ll always buy anything I want and I’ll never do without.”

These are all common examples of inner vows that can influence your thoughts, attitudes and actions in profound but hidden ways.

Come on, Jimmy, you may be thinking, are you trying to tell me that some vow I made to myself when I was a kid actually could be impacting my life today?

I know it can. I’ve experienced it. I’ve seen it. And most importantly, the Bible talks about it.

Throughout the Word, we see examples of the power of words—in blessing, cursing and in oaths. These things are spiritually powerful and supernaturally significant. Inner vows are a rarely understood force that could be having a massive negative impact on your marriage.

If that’s the case in your life, you need to know it. And you need to take care of it. Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal these areas to you—pray about them, and break free from these binding chains to the past.

After taking that all-important step of recognizing and breaking inner vows, some of the things that previously have held you back will be defeated in your life. You’ll be primed and ready to move forward into a brand new year.

Imagine that. For the New Year, breaking past resolutions could be the answer to being able to go on to fulfill your destiny in God! ____________________________________________________________________________________________________

You can learn to break the power of the past! Don’t set this article aside without ordering [or requesting the free] the CD teaching Iniquities & Inner Vows. And if you can, please send along of gift of support for Marriage Today. We’d be very grateful!

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a d a y i n t h e l i f e o f M a r r i a g e To d a y

e

and us!

very Wednesday morning, the sound of footsteps awakens the stairwells leading to MarriageToday’s conference room. Staff

members step through the logo-etched glass doors, choose

a seat around the conference table and pass around a stack of paper still warm from the printer. On it are names of people we have never met and requests for prayer over situations we know very little about. But no matter where the requests come from, whether it’s across the globe or just down the street, each one is prayed for individually by a MarriageToday staff member. While we may not know all the details, we realize that God not only knows every person and situation intimately, but also works in ways that might not be obvious at the moment.

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To some degree the movie Evan Almighty demonstrated that point. Perhaps you saw the film in the theater last summer.

In the movie, Evan Baxter goes from being a television news anchor to a newly-elected Congressman, thanks to his popular “Change the World” campaign. Indeed his world is changed when God shows up and instructs him to build an ark, which costs Evan his reputation, his family and an absurd number of hammers to the thumb. But despite cheesy special effects, countless plot holes and sketchy theology, the movie did raise a question that perhaps all of us have pondered: How does God answer our prayers? More specifically,

by Jay Grisham

the movie asked if people pray for patience, does God really give them more patience? Or does God just give them the opportunity to be patient? Or when people pray for courage, does God really give them courage, or just the opportunity to be brave? And as I sat and watched the rest of the movie unfold on the screen before me, I couldn’t help but think how the questions relate to the prayer requests we receive here at MarriageToday.

If a man writes in and asks us to pray that his wife will show him more honor,

We count it an honor and privilege to lift up your needs to the Lord. will God cause the man’s wife to give him more honor, or will God give the man an opportunity to be honorable?

How about if a woman sends in an email and asks for prayer that her marriage will be restored? Will God simply restore the marriage, or will He give her an opportunity to be the redeemer?

While we may never know the answers to such questions, we do know that God sometimes works in mysterious ways. And, like Evan in the movie, what we often fail to realize is that when we pray for God to change the world, He usually changes us first. Perhaps the answers to our prayers are simply a different perspective away.

The staff at MarriageToday looks forward to receiving prayer requests from our friends. We count it an honor and privilege to lift up your needs to the Lord. So, know that when you send in a request, we will surely be praying. Just don’t be surprised if God breaks through in such a way that will not only change the world, but also will change you.

look what the Lord has done divorce “vacated” due to prayer After 10 months, our marriage ended in divorce. It was my fifth marriage, and my husband’s third. To put it bluntly, I was unable to heal from a sexually abusive past and divorce is what I knew. After being divorced for three years and finally experiencing a great degree of healing, I began to feel a conviction to attempt to restore a relationship with my husband if he would have me back.

I had no biblical reason for divorcing him and I realized I still loved him. I came across your program one Sunday morning and began watching it regularly. Immediately I emailed a prayer request for our situation and ordered the Return to Intimacy series too. On what would have been our fourth wedding anniversary, we filed to have our divorce “vacated” and it was granted. It is as though the divorce never occurred! We are a living testimony of the power of prayer and a perfect example of how our awesome, loving God never gives up on us. We both are so grateful for this ministry.

Vic & Karrie // Oklahoma

prayers of eternal value I sent a prayer request in for the salvation of my verbally abusive husband and asked you to pray that he would choose to counsel with my pastor. The following week he not only counseled with my pastor but also gave his life to Jesus. He goes to church with me every Sunday and God has put such a love in his heart for me. I am the one that God needs to change now. A million thanks to this ministry!

prayer brings renewed intimacy and remarriage Jimmy and Karen, I want to thank you both for allowing God to work through your lives and through your ministry. I also want to thank you for your prayers. Unfortunately last October my husband and I were divorced.

Our little 3-year-old girl withdrew and became a very solemn child. I emailed your ministry for prayer. I never thought an intimate relationship with my husband was possible until God spoke to me. We are now remarried and expecting another child. It is an amazing testimony of God’s love! I am so thankful to those who prayed on our behalf.

Christi // Texas

prayer bombardment over Kuwait I emailed you to pray for the healing of my marriage. My husband was in Kuwait and I wanted a divorce upon his return in July.

Even though I believed God and was standing on His word, I still felt led to send in a prayer request. Well, God immediately answered. My husband called and said he wants to be with his family and make our marriage work. I give God all the glory, but I would like to thank you for helping me bombard heaven to receive my promise. I will sow a seed into your ministry because, God knows, it is good ground!

Roxie // South Carolina

Sara // Texas

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testimonies

“With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”—Jesus Be encouraged and know your family has a great future! That’s the truth.

Restoration and unity can be yours no matter what your present circumstances. These testimonies are just a very small sampling of the many lives, marriages and families that are being helped and restored every day through the ministry of MarriageToday. there is better-than-ever life after failure I had a very rough childhood and was molested by two men for several years. I felt like God should have stopped the abuse or revealed it to someone who could rescue me, but that didn't happen. As a result, I was angry at God and men and I chose a lifestyle of adultery. I became addicted to sex with anyone other than my husband, because then I did not have to feel emotion. I am now 32 years old and God has helped me deal with this issue and get godly counsel. I have been able to reveal my dark secrets to my husband and although it hurt him very badly, he forgave me. Someone from church loaned us the Marriage on the Rock CDs and they have transformed our lives! We were amazed at all the things we were doing wrong. Our children had been so stressed from our constant fighting and bickering but now we pray and read the Bible together every night. Thank you for sharing your story and letting people know there is life after failure and that life can be better than ever!

Jennifer // Pennsylvania

out of the darkness—into the light Unknown to my wife, I had a problem with lust and had always engaged in extramarital affairs. After 12 years of marriage, my life of deception caught up with me. Much pain followed as details of my behavior came to light. Only the Holy Spirit could have enabled my wife to take me back. Over the last two years, God has healed me of impurity and my wife and I have worked hard at building a true commitment to our marriage. I am truly thankful for my family. We recently celebrated the birth of our third child and we know we are on the right track. Your ministry has helped us through the darkness. We continue to utilize your amazing resources and commit our support as Rock Solid Partners. Bless you and thank you!

Scott // Connecticut

a last ditch effort pays off big!

Seven years ago, I knew my self-centered, uncaring husband was the source of my problems. After 30 years of marriage, I decided I wanted to be happy even if that meant living alone. But as a last ditch effort, I ordered your Rock Solid Marriage monthly tapes. When my husband and I were together in the pickup, I would put in a CD. It is an hour and a half to town, so we could hear one teaching each trip. Though he pretended not to listen, I knew he was. Little by little we grew closer together. I thank God every day and I just wanted to tell you how glad I am I gave it one more chance! With your help and God’s, our marriage is so much improved.

I count you in the many blessings that God has used to keep us together for 37 years.

Cheri // Nebraska

note: Your gifts to MarriageToday enable us to continue encouraging you and others. We can’t do it without you. Please use the attached envelope to invest in changed lives and to plant a seed for relational restoration in your own life. What a difference you can make! ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The above testimonies have been edited for length, punctuation, grammar or clarity of meaning.

invest in your marriage join Jimmy Evans at an upcoming meeting or seminar!

Discover what hundreds of thousands of couples have experienced: That a little time invested in your marriage can yield remarkable returns—in intimacy, harmony and fulfillment. ..................................................

February 8 & 9, 2008 Gateway Church Southlake, Texas ..................................................

April 4 & 5, 2008 Word of Faith International Christian Center Southfield, Michigan ..................................................

April 18 & 19, 2008 Trinity Fellowship Church Amarillo, Texas .................................................. get details at marriagetoday.org (click “EVENTS”)

{ M arriag e in A m e ric a }

by Jimmy Evans

the results of a recent survey of young people surprised nearly everyone who saw them—especially MTV, the sponsor of the survey.

MTV, the music television network that consistently markets “Overwhelmingly, young people think marriage would raunchy, sex-saturated shows to teens, commissioned a make them happy and want to be married someday. survey of America’s young people, ages 13–24. They wanted Most also want to have kids.” to know how “happy” teens and young adults consider themselves to be, and what things in particular make them This highlights something I’ve been saying for some time happy. As I said, the results were surprising. now. People still dream of being happily married, but they’ve lost hope that it is actually possible for them. It is not the An Associated Press article summarized it this way: desire to be married that is disappearing in America. It is You’re between the ages of 13 and 24. What makes the hope that it can work. And as this survey shows, the you happy? A worried, weary parent might imagine desire for marriage—to have a best friend-companion-mate the answer to sound something like this: Sex, drugs, of the opposite sex for a lifetime—is hard-wired right into a little rock ’n roll. Maybe some cash, or at least the the human heart and soul. car keys. Turns out the real answer is quite different.

The survey also shows that we’re not too late. There’s still time to keep marriage from the edge of extinction as is the Different indeed. According to the AP article, about three- case in parts of Europe. That is why the partnership of quarters—73 percent—said their relationship with their MarriageToday with concerned Americans just like you is parents makes them happy. And when asked to name their so very important. Together we’re reaching into homes with heroes, nearly half of respondents mentioned one or both both hope and help. of their parents. The winner, by a nose: Mom. For several months now, the hope and help friends like Close to half said religion and spirituality are very impor- you provide has been able to reach twice as far and touch tant. And more than half—55 percent—said it is either a twice as many hurting people. That is because MarriageToday very important part of life or the single most important thing was offered a matching gift of up to $1 million by an anonin their lives. Beyond religion, simply belonging to an ymous donor. This special friend let us know that through organized religious group makes people happier. the end of 2007, he will match dollar-for-dollar any new gifts But one of the most interesting findings was that, in spite in support of our vitally important work. As you can see in of the appalling divorce rate in our country and the sky-high the chart on the next page, we have made significant progress rates of cohabitation—in spite of all the marital train wrecks in seizing the opportunity, but now time is running out. most kids have seen up close—America’s young people have That’s where you come in. Please prayerfully consider not given up on the dream of marriage. The report said: doing whatever you can to help us realize the full benefit of this opportunity. As you do, you can know that your gift is going twice as far in restoring marriages, healing homes and keeping kids’ parents together.

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Your gifts of support to MarriageToday always make a difference in the lives of families. But while time remains, your gift could have twice the positive impact!

As you may know, MarriageToday was recently offered a matching gift of up to $1 million by an anonymous donor. This special friend has let us know he will match dollar-for-dollar any new gifts in support of our vitally important work, but only until the end of 2007!

That’s where you come in. Don’t miss this opportunity to double your impact in restoring marriages, healing homes and keeping kids’ parents together. Please use the envelope form at the center of this magazine to make the most generous gift you can. Or give online by going to:

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laugh a lot, cry a little, and be encouraged every time you sit down to watch MarriageToday with Jimmy and Karen.

With refreshing transparency and down-toearth humor, Jimmy and Karen share their relatable life experiences as they intertwine transforming truths from God’s Word. So make a date with your spouse to snuggle up on the couch, turn on the broadcast and find out more about God’s plan for your life, marriage and family.

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november 4 – december 1 Discover the secret to a solid marriage! Become a better communicator.

Learn to stop destructive patterns. Acquire God’s “blueprint for marital bliss”!

All this and much, much more in the Marriage on the Rock broadcasts.

december 2 – january 5 Think back to the sense of expectancy and excitement you felt when you and your spouse were dating. Wouldn’t it be great to rekindle that kind of romance?

Of course it would! And a Return to Intimacy in your marriage is well within your grasp. This dynamic teaching equips you to reignite the passion in your relationship. Don’t miss it!

january 6 – february 16 There are some common traits and habits shared by every marriage that is truly great. Tune in and discover the seven key characteristics common to every strong, fulfilling marriage. Then get ready to instill them in your own relationship as you listen to Jimmy Evans explore Every Great Marriage. programs air daily monday–friday. // schedule is subject to change.

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