MASSIVE Issue 1 2023: The Summer Issue

MASSIVE ISSUE 01

The Summer Issue

Kia ora koutou,

Welcome back from holidays <3 and welcome to a new year of amazing independent student media. Whether you had a sweet saccharine summer basking in the glow of the NZ sun (some of us had more sun than others) or had a big overseas adventure; we want to share the tea with you! One of the coolest things about this summer, I feel, has been a renewed sense of freedom. Many of us travelled about a great deal more than has been possible since 2020 and gosh that has been sweet. Although I started work here at the Massive office in Wellington early January, I’ve lived vicariously through friends’ holiday snaps of stunning beaches, delicious food and vibrant culture. I had my own little slice of a Kiwi holiday earlier in January, but it was a bit of a soggy one with a solid week of rain at the family house in the Wairarapa. As soon as I drove over the hill to Wellington, the sun shone through the clouds, and I knew this was going to be a fabulous year— full of fun and good vibes at Massive

Let’s remind ourselves of our tradition at Massive Magazine (though we are anything but traditional). We are an independent, fun, student magazine that proffers content you actually want to read and see. We’re always open for suggestions, tips and submissions, just throw a line editor@massivemagazine.org.nz. We hope this year will be an energising and exciting one, we’ve had way too little of the excitement factor during the pandemic and feel it’s time to embrace 2023 with what we do best– getting you pumped for a year of free creative expression. That means some giggles, some contemplation; some quality research and fact-checking; some utterly hilarious stories and always the juicy bits. Let us know what you want to see and read along the way and remember our office door is always open for a chat (except at night when we should probably lock it).

I’m Emily and I’m the Massive designer for 2023! I just finished my degree, bachelor of Design with Honours at Massey, at the end of last year and I’m absolutely stoked to be here at Massive!

I was in Central Hawkes Bay for my very rainy summer, where I grew up in a small historic rural village called Ongaonga, tucked under the Ruahine Ranges. But now I am back in Wellington where it finally feels like summer, and I get to work for an awesome magazine! I’ve been trawling through the old magazines we’ve got up here in our office and it seems I’ve got some great work to live up to. I’ll be sure to put my flair into this magazine and I hope you love reading through it this year just as much as I’m loving designing it. My aim as a designer is to create designs which are easy to read and understand while still being engaging to an audience. Graphic design plays an important role in visual communication and when used correctly can be incredibly powerful. I hope everyone had a wonderful summer and is super excited for the awesome year ahead!

What to look forward to

WEEKLY NEWS

Freshers must learn about consent before Toga Night for the first time

Sammy Carter (she/her)

Before the partying, drinking, and one-night stands begin, freshers must learn about consent at Massey halls. Students were not allowed to attend the Toga Night, one of the biggest O-Week events, without attending the consent education event.

The “Don’t Guess the Yes” sexual violence campaign spoke to Massey students in both Wellington and Palmerston North last week, and will be speaking in Auckland on the 28th of Feb.

Ellyn Rose Smith Whatley, Massey rainbow and takatāpui wellbeing adviser, said, “This event is the first of its kind, its more in-depth, more formal and not just internally run.”

In previous years, Massey Halls only held sex quizzes throughout the year, but no educational events.

Whatley said most students don’t learn consent in high school, so it’s important to teach them straight out of the gate.

“Consent, safe sex and partying do go hand-tin hand with O-Week.” Massey will continue to hold consent education before O-Week from now on, said Whatley.

“At a certain point in time, these presentations won’t be needed because everyone will know.”

Speaking to the crowd of students, Whatley used one of her own experiences from two weeks ago to show the importance of intervening in a suspicious situation.

She said, as her and her partner were walking home, they saw a barely conscious girl at a bus stop with a man who was not nearly as drunk.

student said, “There’s more of chance of something happening in the week of partying, so we are learning before the partying starts.”

Wiremu Johnston, first year screen arts student, said the campaign taught him more about how to intervene in a situation that doesn’t look right. “If it’s a gut feeling, act on it, you can feel bad about it later.”

He said consent is when both

One look at each other and Whatley’s partner quietly called the ambulance while she distracted the man by chatting. When the ambulance arrived the man quickly ran away and the woman was safe.

Eli Armstrong, fresher fashion

parties are 100% okay with what’s going to happen.

“You don’t wanna put yourself in a situation where you’re gonna hurt someone.”

First years from across Wellington halls gathered to learn about consent before O-Week. Photo / Sammy Carter

Tegan Jaggard (she/her)

Cyclone Gabrielle made its way off the East Coast after battering the North Island. Both Auckland and Hawkes Bay faced serious flooding and power outages. Outages in Hawkes Bay led to scarce communication in and out of the region and left those with loved ones stuck in Hawkes Bay panicked.

Roommates Cynthia Fan and Katelynne Tawhara moved to Albany from Napier to attend the Massey campus, leaving many friends and family behind. Neither were terribly impacted by the initial floods or the cyclone as they live on a hill. This left them with a skewed view of how bad things could get.

“Before we knew how bad the rain was going to get, it was the perfect temperature to frolic around,” Fan said, describing the

beginning of the cyclone. Fan went on to say that she felt like the rain was going to “flatten” her with how heavy it felt while picking up a friend at the airport. Fan also said that the heavy rain “sounded like a train” on the roof of their apartment building.

“My sports hall has to be completely rebuilt. The flood waters were up to six feet in the building. My friends that work there lost their jobs,” Fan said. Their experience in Auckland, however, did not prepare them for what was to come for their families in Hawkes Bay.

Neither of them had heard from their families except to say that they had been evacuated and were safe.

“I would hear nothing for two days and then my brother would send through some photos. All I could think was ‘holy shit’,” Fan said. Tawhara said, “My mum posted on Facebook about not being able to find gas or milk. She texted me to say they might only have two days of supplies left. I was pretty

worried for them. I was thinking ‘do I have to send them something?”

Tawhara expressed concern for how long the power outages were forecast to last. “How are they going to cook? How are they going to shower?”

Both Fan and Tawhara also were concerned for friends that were yet to be accounted for. “I’m sure she just doesn’t have data but I’m still really worried,” Tawhara said.

As for students who were trapped in the region, some were unsure when they would be able to return to their respective campuses. Not only because of road closures but because of the outages that left people unable to get petrol. A medical student, who asked to not be named, was forced to fly to Auckland on the first flight out with none of her belongings because she was not allowed to miss any classes.

Some students in Eskdale left, unsure how they could continue their studies, as they had lost everything to the floodwaters in the middle of the night.

Roommates in Auckland scared for their family in Napier, “I was pretty nervous for them”

Drone captures flooding on farm in Central Hawkes Bay. Photo / Supplied by Max Wilson

Hundreds of pool toys recycled by Mum transforming Wellington’s waste

Sammy Carter (she/her)

A mum of four is recycling inflatable pool toys and air mattresses from Wellington so her kids can grow up in a greener world.

Massey fashion graduate Ali Traynor has collected over 200 inflatable pool toys and air mattresses this summer alone, so that instead of going to waste

they will be recycled into water resistant bags.

Traynor said, “once I had children, you realise how wasteful all the plastic toys that don’t last are, the stuff they grow out of and break… things aren’t built to last anymore.”

Traynor’s daughters were gifted an inflatable unicorn sprinkler for Christmas three years ago that quickly broke. As her daughters needed swimming bags, she had the genius idea to use the sprinkler fabric to make them. Other parents and her kids’ teachers loved the bags, so

Traynor took to Facebook to find old pool toys and air mattresses to recycle.

“Everyone seems to be getting on board with trying to reduce waste, every bit helps,” she said.

“You really want the world to last as long as it can for them in the best possible way, otherwise what are you leaving to your kids and grandkids? If we don’t sort it out now, it’s gonna be a real mess for them.”

Inflatable unicorns, watermelons, cup holders and balls are the most common pool toys that Traynor receives.

Traynor’s kids love to show off their mum’s creations. “My kids love it, all their friends have them,” she said.

Traynor’s idea bloomed into a small business called Lilla Bean. The business has grown the most over the last year and half since she started a website and began attending markets around Wellington.

“I’m doing the Newtown festival in a couple of weeks and I’m really excited, that’s gonna be a fun one.” After graduating with a fashion diploma from Massey in 2002, Traynor went on to be a pattern maker in Wellington before becoming a stay-at-home-mum. With her youngest kid about to start kindergarten, she’ll have even more time to create very soon.

Ali Traynor and kids sporting recycled bags. Photo / Supplied

“Cool as hell”: Interpreter breaks Sign Language stereotypes

Sammy Carter (she/her)

With bold style and sass, Rihanna’s Super Bowl interpreter is breaking barriers of what we expect Sign Language to look like.

American Sign Language interpreter Justina Miles went viral after performing at Rihanna’s Super Bowl show where she had all the moves and hit every beat. Holly Kennedy, freshly graduated sign language student, said, “We’re so used to seeing interpreters like we do in the COVID briefings or the Presidential inauguration in the US. They’re wearing formal plain dark clothing and they look like they’re scared of everything, so people come to expect that.”

She said Miles’ performance was “awesome, cool as hell, great to see it.”

“I think it’s way more fun because some deaf people still have some hearing and they can feel the vibration of the music.”

“It’s a language like any other language so it’s expressive or not as expressive as you want it to be, in the same way that you can speak in very plain monotone language or you can use a lot of similes and metaphor and intonation in your voice.”

Kennedy said the interpreter world has taken big steps in the last few years to have “young stylish interpreters” like Miles. “Her as an interpreter is a big deal as is.”

Kennedy said Sign Language teachers are encouraging students to “add flare” to their articulation.

“You do notice the differences in the way that different people will sign the same thing, just like having an accent or a lisp.”

“It would be a bit weird to do a Rihanna song really formally like

the interpreters on the covid briefings, that would look strange.”

Kennedy is starring in a Fringe Festival show, Women Drink Hemlock, this March. The production fundraised for the show on the 9th of March to be New Zealand Sign Language interpreted.

Alice Mander, National Disabled Students Association founder, said, “People think that sign language is just like English translated but it’s in itself an entirely different language. It’s got its own culture, it’s got its own slang, humour, and comedy style and so you often do see these really moving performances.”

She felt more expressive styles of Sign Language help to include the Deaf community.

“I think we forget that Sign Language is one of our official languages in this country.” Mander felt the more people we encourage to learn Sign Language, the better.

ASL interpreter, Justina Miles goes viral for her performance at the Super Bowl.

Photo / New York Post

Who are chaplains and what do we do…??

Chaplains offer humanity and connection for students and staff. Often it’s just a coffee, something to eat and a chat. We know life can get pretty messed up and stressy; lonely even. So we offer a place where you can land with that, talk things through or just have a laugh.

Historically, you’ll usually find chaplaincy in difficult places, like in hospitals, the military, schools, university...places where people need some support and encouragement. While you don’t need to be having a hard time, we won’t mind if you are.

Chaplains are people of faith, spiritual people, but you don’t have to be ‘religious’ to spend some time with us. We think life makes way more sense when you have some faith, but that’s not all we talk or care about, most of us are Uni graduates and have a life. We’re people who care and like to connect with others.

On each campus we have regular ‘chapel’ time. That’s a time to gather, read scripture, pray and discuss things. We’re independent from any church, but as individuals, usually involved with them.

So please drop in, meet some other students, have a hot drink, chat about the weather…flatting…art…study… music… the meaning of life...

An easy way to look us up is by searching ‘chaplains at Massey’ or a similar word search; we’re on the three campuses.

-Albany: at the lower level of the Business School.

-Manawatu: at The Centre/Te Waiora on Colombo Rd.

-Wellington: usually at the Well-Being Space, between the Pyramid and Tussock.

The world we live in is diverse and each of us is spiritually, emotionally and physically unique. The chaplaincy is here to listen and come alongside and encourage students at this stage of life, as well as offering spiritual support.

‘Imago Dei’ Or ‘Image of God’. We are all created in the image of God, no matter what our faith, gender, race, income, sexual orientation or role on this earth is, all of us reflect an image or imprint of God.

Albany Facebook: Spiritual Wellbeing Auckland Palmerston North Facebook: Spiritual Wellbeing Manawatu Wellington Instagram: masseychaplaincywellington

SummerTime Radness

By Aiden Charles (they/them)

The summer song has been a music industry staple since Antonio Vivaldi published “The Four Seasons” in 1725.

Whilst not considered an ‘absolute banger’ summer classic by today’s standards, and unlikely to be viewed in the same light as something along the lines of Lana Del Rey’s “Summertime Sadness – Club Mix”, Vivaldi’s 1725 offering, “L’estate” (Summer) laid the groundwork for the subsequent summer anthems to come.

Basically, Vivaldi walked so Del Rey could run. That’s a fact, and not a baseless claim from a very tired music nerd currently stuffing apple into his mouth and listening to Nirvana.

Summer anthems are a given for a year’s music offerings. It’s expected that a handful will be released each year to coincide with that wonderful time where you can fry an egg on the bonnet of your car. These songs are (usually) upbeat, fun, good to listen to when at the beach or on a long drive to who knows where. A summer song doesn’t even need to be about the season, it just needs to invoke a certain vibe.

Summer songs are driving with the windows down, skating full speed down an incline before bailing onto the pavement, frolicking in the waves, eating an ice cream before it drips onto your sneakers.

Summer songs are an experience.

They’re capable of getting a bop outta ya in the middle of that gruelling roadie you all thought was a good idea before realising that holding your bladder too long is a struggle.

But alas, summer songs on their lonesome are crap. What is needed is a quintessential playlist, with only the best of the best summer bops being featured. But creating a playlist is hard; having opinions is dumb!

So instead of creating my own playlist for summer, I outsourced it to a chatbot AI -

Now aside from the fact that a chatbot cannot form opinions of its own, and therefore has just picked random songs including one by a very problematic musician (cough cough Kid Rock is the worst cough cough)… I’d say that’s a pretty okay list.

But why don’t we get some real opinions and song choices?

So, coming straight from the hearts of Massive Magazine staff, here is the OFFICIAL MASSIVE SUMMER PLAYLIST!

Chatbot AI: summer playlist

Hot in Herre – Nelly

Crazy in Love – Beyonce feat. Jay-Z

Summertime – DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince

I Gotta Feeling – The Black Eyed Peas

California Gurls – Katy Perry feat. Snoop Dogg

Summer of ‘69 – Bryan Adams

All Summer Long – Kid Rock

Blinding Lights – The Weeknd

I’m the One – DJ Khaled feat. Justin Bieber

Dynamite – BTS

Massive Magazine summer playlist

My Own Summer – Deftones

Dance of The Clairvoyants – Pearl Jam

Girls – The 1975

Life in The Fast Lane - Eagles

Delilah (pull me out of this) – Fred Again

Low – SZA

Summertime – DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince

I Like it Like That (feat. New Boyz) – Hot Chelle Rae

Fabulous – High School Musical 2 Soundtrack

You – Troye Sivan, Regard, Tate McRae

Lesbian Ponies with Weapons – Vylvetpony

Do You Like Me? – Daniel Caesar

I Wish You Roses – Khali Uchis

Neverita – Bad Bunny

Lying in the Sun – The Beths

By Leila Lois (she/her)

absence. My upbringing was very international. I was a ‘global nomad’ from a young age, as Sara Ahmed terms it, having moved with my parent’s career changes to several different countries. Consequently, our family is very spread out globally and I found the extended period of border closures imposed during the pandemic worrying and difficult. I will never forget the tears and embraces as I saw my grandmother again or met my three-year-old nephew for the first time. In those moments, the long waits in endless queues in understaffed airports and the extra paperwork and hassle to get through customs were forgotten. I was just so grateful to be reunited with the people and places that I love. However, I realise that I may need to manage my expectations and be ready to accept that these people and places may have been changed, just as I have, by the uncertain times that we have all lived through. Perhaps it’s an exercise in looking forward and not trying to chase the past. Things have changed. Irrevocably.

Wishing You a Happy Belated Chinese New Year

By Elizabeth Chan

By the time this is published, it will probably be way past the annual family gatherings, the explosion of fireworks, and the crackling of firecrackers that Chinese New Year brings about.

Personally, I just pig out at the dining table, sharing a jar of pineapple jam tarts with my mum. We then start complaining about how loud the fireworks are as our neighbours turn our block into a warzone by blasting both the firecrackers and the fireworks. Though we celebrate quietly every year, it isn’t Chinese New Year without the jam tarts.

Although, for most in Auckland, 2023 certainly kicked off to a wet start. While some of our festive spirit for the Lunar New Year may have been dampened, let’s welcome the Year of the Rabbit with this piece.

The Unsung Celebration

Before getting into the nitty-gritty of the Chinese zodiacs, merry belated Hokkien New Year to the Hokkiens in Aotearoa! But what exactly is the Hokkien New Year and how is it different from the Chinese New Year, you may ask? The Hokkien New Year takes place nine days after Chinese New Year. While it looks like the Hokkiens were late to the party, there is a reason for this belated celebration.

According to My Penang, among the several Chinese clans, the Hokkiens celebrated their New Year late because they were hiding from the Mongols who mercilessly hunted them during the Song Dynasty. This was because they were seen as a threat to the empire. As a result, many were killed by the Mongols except for one group that hid in a village among the sugarcane plants. By the ninth day, they could not find the remaining Hokkiens and gave up on their pursuit.

When the Hokkiens could finally emerge from hiding on the ninth day, their celebration was not merely a belated New Year’s celebration, but a commemoration of their survival. To give thanks, annually, they would offer a sugarcane to their god as a symbol of harmony.

Western Astrology vs. Chinese Zodiacs

In case you didn’t know, 2023 is the year of the Rabbit. But what does this actually mean? How are Chinese animal zodiacs different from Western astrology? Well, the main difference between the two is how the zodiacs are calculated. For instance, Chinese zodiacs are counted yearly, while Western astrology is calculated every few months. Rather than being distinguished by the elemental signs, there are twelve animals that represent the Chinese zodiacs. How exactly did we end up with animals as zodiacs?

The Story Behind the Animal Zodiacs

Even in ancient times, there was a rat race (pun intended) to be won.

The runners were the Rat, Ox, Tiger, Rabbit, Dragon, Snake, Horse, Sheep, Monkey, Rooster, Dog, and Pig. According to China Highlights, the race was held to create a time measurement for the people, in which there could only be twelve winners. In order to win, they had to cross a river and reach the finish line on the other side.

The Rat and the Ox woke up early for the race. Seeing its chance, the Rat jumped onto the Ox’s back to cross the river. Once they reached the other side, the Rat hopped off and dashed to the feet of the Emperor, taking first place. The Ox then came second place.

The Tiger came third and the Rabbit came fourth because they were fast and highly competitive, but the Tiger was faster.

It turns out that the Jade Emperor had a thing for looks, as the Emperor immediately noticed the Dragon because he was so good-looking and he finished fifth place. The Emperor then predicted that the Dragon’s son would come next and, speak of the devil, the Snake, the Dragon’s adoptive son, came in sixth.

The Horse and the Goat then arrived. They were kind and modest, as they kept allowing each other to go first. Seeing this, the Emperor ranked the Horse seventh and the Goat eighth. Writing this makes me proud to be born in the Year of the Horse.

The Monkey fell way behind but jumped through trees and zigzagged his way, finishing ninth. Following him were the Rooster, the Dog and the Pig.

Why is There No Cat?

There are several variations on why the cat was not included among the animal zodiacs, contrary to the Vietnamese astrology. Some variations of the myth said that the cat was too lazy and overslept on the day of the race. Meanwhile, others said that the cat and the rat were rivals and the rat managed to push the cat into the river. A rather brutal retelling of the tale, considering that the river’s currents were rapid. Hopefully, the cat made it out alive in the latter version.

There is one thing the variations have in common. The Rat finished first place in the race because it seized its opportunity by working smarter, not harder, because it piggy-backed the ox in order to cross the river. Who would have thought that there was a moral to the Chinese astrology?

Chinese Zodiac Signs and Horoscopes

Rat: quick-witted, resourceful, versatile, kind. Years: 1972, 1984, 1996, 2008, 2020, Good news, Rats! 2023 will not only be your year, but you might actually find that special someone this year. Make sure you work as hard as you play hard.

Ox: diligent, dependable, strong, determined. Years: 1973, 1985, 1997, 2009, 2021, 2023 looks like it’s going to be challenging for Oxen, but take heart because you might meet someone special this year! But, always stay wary, and watch out for those scams and people who are just as sus as those scams.

Pig: compassionate, generous, diligent. Years: 1947, 1959, 1971, 1983, 1995, 2007, 2019 Continue being generous, but not too generous. 2023 will be just fine if you continue to look after your health and stay out of juicy gossip in your workplace.

Rabbit: quiet, elegant, kind, responsible.

Years: 1951, 1963, 1975, 1987, 1999, 2011, 2023

Go out and have some fun, for 2023 is your year! But don’t get too crazy and be careful with your spendings. Don’t eat too many hard things, either. Seriously, care for your teeth.

Dragon: confident, intelligent, enthusiastic.

Years: 1940, 1952, 1964, 1976, 1988, 2000, 2012 While others may be partying hard, 2023 might feel like a real drag. But, don’t let the slump get to you and take care of your mental health. For those looking for a relationship, slow down. Going too fast will make anyone freak out.

Snake: enigmatic, intelligent, wise.

Years: 1941, 1953, 1965, 1977, 1989, 2001, 2013 This might sound like a very snake-ish thing to do, but use your relationships and connections because you might be seeing some great returns this year. As for relationships and work, things are looking slick for 2023. Look after your health vigilantly because 2023 may bring in some health problems.

Horse: animated, active, energetic.

Years: 1942, 1954, 1966, 1978, 1990, 2002, 2014 2023 is looking hopeful for Horses, so keep working hard and seize the golden opportunity whether in your workplace, finances or relationships!

Goat: calm, gentle, sympathetic.

Years: 1943, 1955, 1967, 1979, 1991, 2003, 2015 Avoid taking any big risks this year and 2023 should be smooth sailing for Goats. Avoid overdoing anything when it comes to your physical health.

Monkey: sharp, smart, curious.

Years: 1944, 1956, 1968, 1980, 1992, 2004, 2016 2023 may feel a little slow career-wise, but other than that, be humble and go with the flow. In other words, don’t buy into the overhyped “2023 is going to be my year” slogan and you’ll be fine.

Rooster: observant, hardworking, courageous.

Years: 1945, 1957, 1969, 1981, 1993, 2005, 2017 Be prepared to move to seek greener pastures because 2023 might be that time for a career switch. Roosters might be in a rut this year but, hey, there’s nothing like freedom when you’re a single Pringle.

Dog: lovely, honest, prudent.

Years: 1946, 1958, 1970, 1982, 1994, 2006, 2018 Those born in the Year of the Dog may be put under a little stress in the workplace, but don’t let that get to you and don’t overwork yourself too much. Good news: 2023 is looking bright for love.

Tiger: brave, confident, competitive, unpredictable. Years: 1962, 1974, 1986, 1998, 2010, 2022, Bad news: there’s a chance of losing some money this year. But, it is only a possibility, so keep your guard up against scams and people who may try to take advantage of you. This applies to your workplace because 2023 might bring in some workplace competition. Though you may be tempted to bear your fangs, stay humble and do your best. Some things are just out of your control.

Sexcapades

Just Roll With It

Last summer I was visiting a boy I was casually sleeping with at his family home for a few days. I’d eaten a bread roll earlier in the day (important context - I’m slightly gluten-intolerant), and so my stomach was feeling not so great. Basically, I was super gassy and bloated and I really needed to poop. Only problem is, his bedroom was right next door to the bathroom, so I was too embarrassed go and use it in case he heard.

Later in the evening, I told him I was going to have a shower - here was my opportunity! I turned the shower on to mask any noise, sat on the toilet and did my business, no worries. Right as I’m about to flush, I hear a knock at the door. It was him wanting to come in and join me, expecting a sexy scene of me all wet and soapy in the shower, when in reality I was still completely dry and sitting on the toilet. I yelled out “just a second”, stood up, and locked the door, trying to figure out what to do.

Turns out, however, that I actually UNlocked the door. So, in the next second he’s standing there in the bathroom staring at me, confused as to why I’ve seemingly just invited him in, but am standing there still un-showered and looking terrified. That’s when I realise - in my panic I still haven’t flushed the toilet. There was no hiding it. I just had to shuffle awkwardly back to the toilet and flush it away. Neither of us said anything. It was horrible. We stood there in silence for a few moments and then both just hopped into the shower and never spoke of it again.

Solicited Advice

From Pocket

Solicited advice is a weekly column where Massive’s own four-legged Agony Aunty, Pocket, shares her wisdom and experience with you all. She speaks only truths.

Where’s the best value supermarket to shop at? Everything has become so damn expensive. I saw broccoli for $7 at Chaffers New World the other day.

Personally I recommend looking cute for free food. It’s always worked for me. Make sure you wash your hair and you can get all the free food and pats you want, trust me. Sidle up to the peeps with freebies. I heard something about free coffee and bagels in o week at the MAWSA building. I’ll probably be there, helping myself to free kibbles (fyi Whiskas is my fave). If you have to go to the supermarket, try dumpster diving, lots of great barely out of date stuff in there. Last week I jumped into the bins at Moore Wilson’s fish market. That smoked mackerel was

I’m 22 and still on my learner’s license, should I be embarrassed?

Believe me, panic not. I’m 15 human years, that’s 77 in cat years, and I’m still on my learners.

But you’re a human so maybe just grow up?

Do you have a question you’re dying to have answered?

DM Massive Magazine on Instagram or editor@massivemagazine.org.nz and look out for next week’s issue - no question is too difficult for Pocket.

Studying Distance at Massey: A Personal Account

By Brooke Lynita (she/her)

‘I can’t make it, I’m studying. I can’t this weekend, I’m studying. Yes, you guessed it, I’m studying.” In late 2018 I embarked on an exciting journey to start my degree with Massey via distance learning. And this is that story so far.

I always wanted to study. I wanted that experience of meeting new life-long friends, creating wacky food recipes while being on a budget, stressing over exam results and landing my dream job in my chosen field. It all sounded so appealing. But I had one slight dilemma – I had no idea what it was I wanted to do in the world. So instead, I left high school, joined the army (decided I didn’t love it), and moved to Australia where I’ve been ever since. But I still had this yearning for higher education. I still wanted to earn a degree and found myself trying to find ways to make it happen. The blueprinting began, and Massey was the build. I’d been working in an office in Melbourne and enrolled for a Bachelor of Business with a major in Accountancy.

Semester One began. I’d leave for work around 5:00am, be at my desk by 6:15am with coffee and notebooks and start my study with recorded lectures and materials until work began at 8:30am. This became my ritual. Weekends thereafter were spent keeping up and trying to balance it all. Putting in time would pay off with essays and tests. Norwegian Student Bowls always helped with stress levels. But I still wanted more.

While I loved my work environment and the support from my peers, my dreams still bloomed for a career that could eventually project me onto a global stage – London, New York, Tokyo. My degree would certainly compliment this ambition, but I needed the right role, the right career. I had my sights and goals set for opportunities in the corporate ‘Big 4s’ commonly known as KPMG, Deloitte, EY and PwC, or the Big 4 Australian Banks like the Commonwealth Bank, NAB, Westpac and ANZ. I figured I would study hard, finish the degree and start applying for grad programs or consultancy roles, a common path for fresh

graduates (which I’m sure many of you are contemplating). I thought to myself, there was no possible way I would have the capacity to study 3 subjects per semester and learn a whole new full-time role. But fate, and we will call it fate, had an unexpected turn. A colleague approached me for an interview at ANZ at the end of 2019. I kept thinking to myself, it all felt too soon! How would I manage? The role was very senior, and I had no prior experience. The odds weren’t in my favour, but I figured I would go and just get some interview experience. To my surprise I was hired on the spot and offered a salary that could not be refused. Now what? Nerves started to kick in. I redirected my degree to Massey’s Finance major and amped up my inputs. Somehow, I was ahead of my 5-year plan by 6 years! I still had at least three more years ahead until I would graduate. But all of the possibilities I’d wanted had all seemed to align and fall into place — albeit, not in the way I had intended, but even better than I could have ever imagined.

Balancing has been the key ingredient to managing a full-time career and studying. It has not been without sacrifice and many late nights and at times tears and the complications of a changing world with the pandemic. There have been other wonderful experiences and surprises through distance learning with Massey. I have made other Kiwi friends based in Melbourne which has made me feel included and not as though I am the only person in the world who is studying and working full time. Being away from home for such a long time makes you appreciate local connections more, and I am so thankful to have made them.

I am now in my final year and only six more remaining subject to complete. I still recall when it was 24 subjects and 360 credits! But it all starts with you – take breaks, utilise your time well and never be afraid of your own success and goals you want to achieve. Set your goals high and work hard. You never know what this life has next!

Basic Witch

A humble review brought to you by a local Witch-about-Wellington, reviewing the places and things that will help you develop your pagan practices, revel in your arcane knowledge, and ascend to your highest self. This summer I’ve struck out to enjoy many of the wonderful things our city has to offer this season, like celebrating the solstice at the Island Bay drumming circle, shoplifting at Third Eye Cuba Street, and bumming a durry off the mangled ghost that haunts the bucket fountain. Here are some of my highlights and lowlights.

By Tui Lou Christie (she/they)

Fleetwood Whack at Gardens Magic

5 stars ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

This Fleetwood Mac tribute band, made up of local lead singer Hyacinth McKinnon and an assortment of feral animals on percussion, made a splash at Gardens Magic when they snuck into the soundshell after the evening’s act had left the stage. While some critics described the performance as “deranged” and “upsetting the children”, I thoroughly enjoyed their eclectic sound. If you haven’t heard Rhiannon played by several stoats on xylophones, you haven’t really heard it!

Event: book:

Notable Wellington Graves – Jedediah Carpenter

5 stars ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

With over 83,000 graves in Wellington, how is a witch to know which are worth the walk, or even which is which? Jedediah Carpenter (ironically, an undertaker) covers all the must-see hotspots for notable witches, criminals, hangmen, and politicians. You can consider this your own guided walking tour of our beautiful city. Or, if you’re one of those gifted with the Sight, you can consider it a meet-and-greet lineup!

One Fat Bird, Karori

2 stars ★ ★

False advertising— ZERO fat birds. Pizza OK. I am seething with rage.

Restaurant: Place:

Zealandia

1 star ★

The wildlife here was so mean to me. Tieke accused me of necromancy. Tuatara called me a h*g. Only witches can say that! Clearly, they didn’t learn their manners from the staff, who politely pretended not to notice me communing with the animals.

what time is it? Time to get a summer job

By Molly Richards (she/her)

Burnout is no joke, so the holidays are a blessing. That’s what I always thought. Turns out summer is less like the High School Musical 2 tune What Time Is It, and more like the High School Musical 2 tune Work This Out. Or, if you prefer a bit of Dolly, I’m no Jolene but I have been Workin’ 9 to 5

I wouldn’t call the three months out of the student rat race all that productive. During the semester, I longed for time away from deadlines and assignments. I had pipe dreams for some shelved projects. To get that looming portfolio started ahead of the game. To just START prepping for next semester. How dull – yes, I know. Don’t you worry, I did none of it. Instead, like many of you, I roped myself into a summer job. We’ve been there. StudyLink has dried up and you must make a choice; find a job, or watch that bank balance nosedive.

I’ve done the usual, hospo/retail. Be kind to hospo workers! One summer I got myself into a bar where I became a serial glass juggler. Customers don’t like their margarita express delivered to their lap. Not my finest moment.

Another summer I was a barista. This might upset my coffee enthusiast friends out there – but excuse me, you want me to make what? I had become a judgmental barista, and I’m so sorry. But Bullet Proof coffee? Why? This is what I imagine the tagline for Bullet Proof Coffee would go . . . Bullet Proof Coffee: have ever wanted to take a shot of burnt toast at 6.30am and traumatise your barista? Well, we’ve got the coffee for you! It’s a black coffee with butter and if you like this can you please tell me why.

Back to the matter. I was a dental assistant for a total of five hours. Technically it was a trial and unsurprisingly I didn’t get the job. Let’s face it, I’m not cut out for scrubs; I had no idea what I was doing.

I’ve made ice cream all summer. Let me tell you the wave of panic that sets in when you hand someone their ice cream and it goes to fall. I can’t handle that stress. I thought people held their ice creams at a 45° angle just to test my nerve.

I suppose we’ve all been there, it’s no fun being the lame friend with the summer job. Sorry guys I can’t come to that super cool festival, I have to work. If you are dragging yourself through that summer job, making coffees, serving tables, making ice cream, doing dentist stuff, remember it’s just a summer job. It’s a means to an end— and not to sound like my parents but it builds character. Also, know that it gets worse. Or rather, it could be worse. You could be like me, a fourth year, where my next summer job isn’t a summer job, it’s a job or it’s unemployment.

The Atua Have Spoken

By Cameron McCausland-Taylor

Cyclones, flooding, landslides and earthquakes all in one week? As @te.mahara said on Instagram, “It’s indicating you have angered the ātua”. The impact of these disasters is being felt heavily throughout Te- Ika-a-Māui, particularly in Te Tai Tokerau, Tairāwhiti and Hawke’s Bay, as well as Tāmaki Makaurau after their flooding a few weeks ago. However, as a Māori wahine, it’s the suffering of marae, hapū and iwi that really hits home. Ranginui, Tāwhirimātea, Papatūānuku, Hinemoana, ALL the ātua appear to be telling us something; it’s time to listen to mātauranga Māori more than ever in the face of climate change.

Firstly, our marae and urupā are deeply suffering, due to many of them being in costal or low-lying areas. Seeing the sheer amount of damage devastating these taonga of cultural significance is devastating, to say the least. It’s not just a physical structure; it impacts our people in emotional, mental, social, and physical ways. There are various marae around the country that are seriously having to consider moving their tūrangawaewae, which should have never been something that had to be contemplated.

The mauri of our whenua, moana and awa is also on a serious decline. Many of our whānau, rely on the likes of hunting, fishing, diving, and gathering to provide for their whānau. These are skills that our people have practiced for generations but are in severe jeopardy. Where I live in the Bay of Plenty, we’re feeling it in the lack of tuna in the river, the deteriorating pipi beds, and the erosion of our beaches. Again, it’s not just about the basic necessity of nourishing our whānau, but another loss of customs that lie within our culture. We’re trying to continue our way of life on a planet that is crumbling beneath us, impacting us on a multitude of levels.

For myself, and many other Māori, I am a firm believer that it’s not only our ātua that lie within our physical environment, but it’s our tīpuna too. I don’t just see awa overflowing, I see my tīpuna physically drowning in uncontrollable, contaminated waters. I don’t just see the shores eroding, I see my tīpuna being washed away to sea. I don’t just see our marae being torn to pieces, I see our tīpuna having their whare and whenua stripped from them again and again and again.

Throughout recent events, we have seen marae, hapū and iwi all around the motu step up and offer their whare as refuge for displaced peoples. Manaakitanga for manuhiri is in our blood and there was no hesitation in opening doors for any and all to take shelter. But as kaitiaki and tangata whenua of Aotearoa, we cannot do this on our own. We need the help of everyone in the motu to protect our environment. It’s hard to see people so against co-governance, Māori wards and the Three Waters reform, while our people remain so open and welcoming with their sacred places of tūrangawaewae.

As the 2023 general election approaches us, it’s so crucial that we’re electing those that are willing to make meaningful change and do the mahi to make it happen. No sugar-coating, no bullshit, just straight ACTION that will affect our communities on a grassroots level. It’s all fine to say we need people on the ground (which is true), but it’s fair to say that our most impactful change takes place within the policy makers. We need mātauranga Māori instilled within our environmental policies; we need purposeful relationships between Māori and the Crown; we need more Māori taking up positions of power. By starting at the top, these effects will trickle down to our communities, with our most vulnerable in desperate need. Throwing money at a situation isn’t going to cut it anymore.

Papatūānuku nurtures us, nourishes us, looks after us as her taonga. Yet, we do not offer her the same aroha. Māori don’t roll with the individualism game; we come together as a collective for the greater good. Climate change is impacting all of us, not just Māori, but it is the Māori spiritual connection to the likes of Papatūānuku that is going to save all of us if we follow that pathway.

Introducing our: 2023 Student Association Presidents

General/Distance President – Jake Law

Jake was the 2022 Albany Student Association President and has previously been the Campus Culture Coordinator.

Last year Jake secured a local board seat for Hibiscus and Bays Auckland Council.

Jake is a passionate and upbeat Student President and remains committed to fostering positive environments and supportive relationships between students and staff. Jake proactively liaises with diverse student groups and communicates ideas and concerns in a responsive manner. He is committed to consulting with students to improve academic quality and student experience.

Jake has a Bachelor of Arts in Chinese language and culture, a Post Graduate Diploma in Teaching and is currently a Social Policy: Politics Graduate Diploma student.

Manawhakahaere – Ramairoa Tawera

Ko Hikurangi te maunga

Ko Waiapu te awa

Ko Ngāti Porou te iwi

Ko Te Aitanga-a-mate te hapu

Ko Hiruharama te marae

Ko Ramairoa Tawera ahau

Ramairoa started his student representation journey as Kaiwhakahaere of Manawatahi, the Māori student association on the Manawatū Campus.

In 2022 he was the Ex-Officio Māori member of the MUSAF board. Ramairoa believes that his current governance and exposure will help provide stability and value for Te Tira Ahu Pae in the first year, post amalgamation.

Ramairoa is studying a Bachelor of Business, majoring in Finance on the Manawatū Campus.

Pasifika President – Aniva Feau

Talofa Lava, Mālo nī, Fakaalofa lahi atu, Ni sa Bula Vinaka, Talofa, Mālo e lelei, Kia Orana, Mauri, Talofa Laca, Noa’ia, Tēnā koutou katoa.

Aniva is based in Auckland and studies at the Albany Campus.

She was the 2021 President of Massey Albany Pasifika Students’ Association [MAPSA] and the Pasifika Ex-Officio member of the MUSAF board in 2022.

Aniva has served on the Auckland Youth Advisory panel, as a Le Va Mentor and Manatoa Mentor at Massey University.

She completed her Bachelor of Arts majoring in Politics and Psychology in 2021 and is currently completing her honours in Clinical Psychology in 2022.

Aniva is excited to have the opportunity to continue her journey with the new student association, Te Tira Ahu Pae, and consolidate the work of the MUSAF board and 2022 student representatives.

The Board: Te Tira Ahu Pae

The Executive

Nominations for elections for the newly amalgamated student’s association student representative positions open soon.

Representation activities are broad and there are both structured and unstructured opportunities to represent the interests of students. Student reps proactively look for opportunities to improve student life and address student needs. They provide feedback, influence, educate and comment on the many facets of Massey’s operation. Student reps collaborate, cooperate and partner with Massey to recognise and directly involve students’ ideas, experiences, questions and concerns into decisions at all levels from course development to service delivery.

Join the team…make a difference!

Over 55% of students surveyed in 2022 said they would be more interested in becoming a student rep if they were paid, were able to make a difference and had access to professional development. Student representation is absolutely your opportunity to make a difference to the lives of others. These roles are paid, and you will receive both professional and personal development opportunities!

Elections Coming Soon...

Nominations for 16 student representative positions will open on 1 March.

General, Māori, and Pasifika positions are contracted for 10 hours per week, the international and postgraduate roles, 15 hours per week. All roles will commence in April and end in November.

Student representatives are paid the 2023 living wage with full training and support provided. If you want to learn more about being a student representative, position deliverables can be found on our website tetiraahupae.ac.nz, alternatively you can request a copy by emailing representation@tetiraahupae.ac.nz.

To be nominated, students must complete the online form available on our website. Elections will open on March 22nd for seven days.

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