MASSIVE Issue 9: The Wellbeing Issue

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Issue 09 MAY 8/2023 The Wellbeing Issue
MASSIVE
Cover by Eden Laing

Editor’s letterThe wellbeing issue

This week’s issue is all about wellbeing or hauora <3

We’re looking into the services that surround us to help us through hard times and have some personal essays and practical tips to help you when you have a lull, or even a crisis. If you do find yourself needing extra support, please reach out to the counselling service and student union, details in the magazine. We have features this week on a wide variety of well-being related topics, from perfectionism, to counselling, to rongoā (Māori traditional healing).

Remember, if you are going through tough times, it is important to ask for support. We all go through it and if you reach out, you will find there are so many people out there who want to help. You’re always welcome to come for a cuppa with us at MASSIVE/ Te Tira Ahu Pae, and take some wellbeing tips from Pocket, our resident agony aunt and instant gloominess lifter. I find spending time with animals a great reprieve from the stress and silliness of human life, personally...

We hope you find time to breathe, connect with your mates, and have some ‘you’ time this week.

What to look forward to

Editor Leila Lois Designer Emily Wilson News Editor Sammy Carter Sub Editor Tui Lou Christie Staff Writer Aiden Charles Staff Writer Elizabeth Chan News Reporter Tegan Jaggard Feature Editor Molly Richards Illustrator Annick Harvey Illustrator Eden Laing Te Ao Māori Editor Cameron McCausland-Taylor
News Features Burnout To Be Perfect Leave Rongoā Māori to Tangata Whenua Burn Baby Burn The Highly Sensitive Person Letters to first year me A Scroll into the Media Black Hole Columns Sexcapades Solicited Advice Horoscopes Basic Witch 4 9 10 12 15 23 26 28 19 20 21 22

WEEKLY NEWS

Had bad high school counsellors? You might want to give university counselling a go

Tegan Jaggard (she/her)

Seeking help for mental health issues is a tough decision to make. For many people I’ve talked to, their first experiences going to a counsellor and seeking help didn’t go well and it put them off seeking help again, myself included.

I first tried seeking help in intermediate when I was outed as bisexual to my classmates. Those classmates started harassing me about my sexuality and I started experiencing panic attacks.

When I went to the counsellor about this issue, I was given a children’s book about anxiety and wasn’t offered any other sessions, and the classmates harassing me were not spoken to.

A couple years later in high school, a friend of mine passed away. My friends and I were told we could ditch class for a week, the counsellor

spewed some clichés about grief and then left us to deal with it by ourselves. These experiences left me extremely hesitant to try counselling here at Massey.

Fortunately, when I did decide to give Massey counselling a go, my first five sessions were free and after those they were only $10 a session.

I was, thankfully, able to get the help I needed at the time and when the help I needed was out of their expertise, they helped me find specialised care. It seems that I am not alone in this experience of having awful high school counselling experiences.

Sarah*, a third-year Massey student, said her high school counselling “didn’t uphold patient confidentiality”. “Counselling at Massey has been so much better compared to high school counselling. They’re able to refer you to the proper resources needed and help you through anything. In comparison, high school counsellors often didn’t give good advice.”

Gabby*, a third-year Massey student, first tried counselling in high school when she was

experiencing mood swings and depressive episodes.

“The counsellor told me it was probably just my hormones and to talk to my GP about birth control options.”

After trying multiple different kinds of birth control and mood swings and depressive episodes continued into university, Gabby started counselling with Massey.

“Massey counsellors can’t diagnose or anything, but they helped validate my feelings. Because even if it was just hormones, which it wasn’t, I still deserve emotional support.”

I talked to a group of design students on the Wellington campus and all of them were seeing the same counsellor. They had all recommended the same counsellor to each other because they found him so useful.

Rose*, one of the girls in the group, said, “I normally would ask specifically for a female counsellor, seeing that the male counsellors and doctors I’ve seen in the past haven’t taken my issues seriously, but this counsellor has been so great and understanding.”

If you’re interested in giving Massey counselling a go, you can walk into your campus health centre and book an appointment there or you can contact one of the numbers or emails below for your campus.

Auckland

Studenthealth.auckland@massey.ac.nz

+64 9 213 6700

Palmerston North

Studenthealth.manawatu@massey.ac.nz

+64 6 350 5533

Wellington

Studenthealth.wellington@massey.ac.nz

+64 4 979 3030

*All names have been changed for anonymity.

MASSIVE NEWS 8 MAY 2023 4
Massey students at the Manawatū campus Photo/Massey University website

Selena vs Hailey ‘feud’ pits women against each other OPINION

Sammy Carter (she/her)

I won’t lie, I can get caught up in celebrity drama, but when it comes to Selena vs Hailey, it’s getting old. The internet seems to think that celebrities Selena Gomez and Hailey Bieber have an ongoing feud— all over a boy. Selena famously dated Hailey’s now husband Justin Bieber in the 2010s.

With Selena’s huge success on both the stage and screen, she has millions of fans hating on Hailey’s every move. Supposedly, Hailey copies everything Selena does and makes subtle digs at Selena on social media, like posting videos lip syncing to sassy TikTok sounds.

Selena attempted to stop the hate most recently in March. She posted on her story, “Hailey Bieber reached out to me and let me know that she has been receiving death threats and such hateful negativity. This isn’t what I stand for. No one should have to experience hate or bullying.”

TikTok users were speculating that Justin Bieber texted Selena he still loved her the day before he married Hailey— and this somehow makes Selena better than her? Instead of pitting two girls against each other and bullying Hailey, we should think about Justin’s position in all this. Perhaps Justin should be sticking up for his wife and dispelling rumours that he’s still in love with his ex. If Hailey is copying Selena, perhaps we should think about if Justin is making her feel insecure or unloved for who she is. I don’t like that we are pitting girls against each other over a man. And

Justin Bieber of all men. Really. The same Justin who punched a fan and hit paparazzi with his truck. From just a quick scroll on one of Hailey’s most recent Instagram posts, comments said, “UNFOLLOWED. Mean rude stalker crazy fan”, “What a boring face”, and “I hope Justin divorces you”. All the hate towards Hailey had increased Selena’s popularity. Selena became the most followed woman on Instagram after hitting 400 million followers, beating out Kylie Jenner. Selena’s Instagram comments were looking a lot prettier with users writing, “You look like an angel”, “Selena for president” and “Justin is punching the air right now”.

Late last year, the two women took a photo together at the Academy Museum Gala to stop the rumours. Hailey then went on the Call Her

Daddy podcast to speak up about the lies of her ‘stealing’ Justin from Selena. When asked if she cheated with Justin, Hailey said, “When him and I started hooking up, or anything of that sort, he was not in any relationship … It’s not my character to mess with someone’s relationship, I was raised better than that.”

The model continued, “I understand how it looks from the outside, but that was a situation where I know for a fact that it was the right thing for them to close that door, but of course, there’s a very long history there and I respect that a lot. I don’t want to talk on either one of their behalf.”

However, it’s obvious fans aren’t ready to accept that the Jelena door is well and truly closed. But it’s not Hailey’s fault that they aren’t together anymore. These women are so much more than a man’s ex or wife.

MASSIVE NEWS 5 8 MAY 2023
Selena and Hailey took a photo together last year to dispel rumours. Photo / People

Massey students think twice about Colombia stereotypes after monthlong scholarship trip

From dancing on the street, to lush new food, to emeralds galore, Massey students find Colombia is not the drug dangerous country they expected. Seven other Massey students and I arrive back from Bogotá, Colombia, this Tuesday after spending a month there on a Prime Minister’s Scholarship for Latin America, studying Spanish and Theatre at the Universidad de Los Andes.

Luciano Lara said Colombia was “not as dangerous and people frame it”. Colombia is often known for its history in producing and trafficking cocaine in the 1990s, however, the country is more than just its narcotics past.

Lara loved the people and the food even more than the country itself. “People here are very human, very genuine. You feel like you can talk to anyone. It’s like they’re not afraid to be judged.”

I and the other students performed with Colombians originally from the Bronx, a neighbourhood destroyed by the national police in 2016 as its resolution to the drug problem.

Lara said, “they’ve seen a lot and still come to class with a smile.” He felt people from South America had “a lot of resilience”.

Lara is originally from Chile and hadn’t seen his Mum in over six years until she flew into Colombia to visit him.

This was such a special moment for him, “who else would do that for me? … she’s the purest thing I have”.

George Wilson said he didn’t have any idea what Colombia was really like other than watching the hit

Netflix show Narcos.

He said, “to my surprise, I haven’t felt threatened at all.”

Wilson said his friends had made drug jokes when he told them he was going to Colombia, but felt it was all 100% stereotypical.

“I think people would be surprised how modern it is.”

He felt the indigenous culture in Colombia shared similarities with Māori culture, “There’s quite a call to action for indigenous understanding.”

“They refer to water, and the Earth in general, as people.”

Aotearoa passed a law granting personhood status to the Whanganui River in 2017, declaring the river as a living whole from the mountains to the sea.

Irihapeti Moffat agreed with Wilson, saying it struck her how similar the indigenous Colombian culture was to Māori culture.

Moffat felt different about Colombia after living there for a month.

“I expected to feel more unsafe, but I really don’t.”

The trip included zip-lining, dancing, museums, markets, tango opera and amazing sight-seeing. However, Moffat felt the trip wasn’t all fun and games and also had a lot of depth.

Students performed plays with Colombian peers bringing awareness to climate change, specifically focusing on water.

“We’re learning about climate change from a new culture’s perspective,” Moffat said.

“It’s a wakeup call in a way, it’s inspiring.” Some students who went on the group scholarship may have caught the travel bug and are thinking about applying for an individual scholarship.

MASSIVE NEWS 6 8 MAY 2023
MASSIVE NEWS 7 8 MAY 2023

Burnout

It’s like an old friend for so many, that feeling of bone-deep tiredness, the urge to go back to bed and sleep for another ten hours- two hours after getting out of bed. The need to go back to sleep or else chug two energy drinks after going to one class. Constantly hearing your friends talk about how tired they are (we’re all tired!).

As uni students, as former high school students, as people on the planet, we all likely know the feeling of being burnt out. It’s become a staple of the university experience, just another thing we all must live with and somehow battle through to get our degree. We put in hours of research, hours of note taking, hours of creating, learning skills from the ground up and honing them until we have a piece of paper that tells us we can now get paid for them.

When you’re in the middle of it, it’s hard to realise how much we do in these 3-to-4 years, we can only think about what we have to do next, but it’s a tremendous amount. On top of it all, we still have to work to live. Precariously balancing uni with working to just barely scrape by, oftentimes in nasty and exploitative conditions. Because we are students, it’s just what we have to do to get to the other side.

It feels like a hamster wheel we have to keep spinning no matter how tired we are, or else the whole thing falls off its hinges. There have been many times when I have thought about when we’ll be able to get off the wheel, when we’ll be able to pause for a bit and take a rest. The answer: you can rest when you’re old, rich, or, increasingly, when you’re dead. In this late-stage capitalist society, we are encouraged to

work and work and work until we have achieved something noteworthy, something our parents can tell their friends about, NCEA, a degree or two, a high-paying job. Buying a house seems to be the arbitrary finish line, the big and increasingly unlikely goal, which, in a way, makes us almost want it more. I met someone at a party once who was a homeowner at 24 (and in Wadestown at that), after that bit of info came out people couldn’t stop asking him questions about how he’d done it. Such a rare success story from our generation, someone who has won at life.

But even then, we cannot escape the wheel, many working professionals have been more open about burnout in recent years. And while society encourages us to look after ourselves and take time to rest, in an era when time is money it feels like rest is something that only the wealthy can afford. Recovery from burnout will never come without at least a little guilt, at least for me. A passed-up opportunity, a blow to the bank account, a turned down social invitation.

But that doesn’t make rest any less important, simply because society does not find any value in rest, doesn’t make rest any less invaluable. So, the next time you wake up more tired than when you went to sleep, it’s probably best to stay in bed, hop off the wheel for a bit, those hinges are probably strong enough to last a day or so. Because without rest we are only surviving, not living.

(she/her)
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Illustration by Kai Laing

To Be Perfect

I always wanted to be number one at everything. Unlike the stereotypical ‘Asian family’ trope often portrayed in the media, my parents weren’t the ones who pressured me to achieve perfection.

They never pushed me to get straight As. Heck, they were just content that I even passed my assignments and exams. In fact, they’re just happy that I even got accepted into a university, even though it may not be the one everyone else I knew was aiming for.

Instead, the pressure to be on top of everything was something I placed upon myself. After all, being called ‘smart’ in front of my least favourite cousins felt amazing. I loved receiving praise from my teachers and lecturers after slaving away for my essays for two to three hours straight because it felt like I was worth it. The admiration and envy I garnered from my peers felt sinfully bittersweet.

Contrary to pop culture, it felt satisfying to be that perfectionist antagonist who always turned out to be evil and plotted world domination for some reason. Of course, the last part isn’t true. Personally, perfectionism was probably pure narcissism. Without realising it, I slipped into the unhealthy habit of relying on good grades for better mental health.

Once I achieved a record of good grades and began my life at uni, I then started to notice that good grades aren’t everything. Everyone around me was working a part-time job while studying. In fact, no one was aiming to get good grades, they were just aiming to pass their assignments. It was then I started to feel the pressure to get a part-time job since everyone else was doing it.

Even though I usually try to shut out peer pressure, this time, it felt different. It felt as if I would be seen as a person who was only ‘book-smart’, not ‘street-smart’ enough to survive in the working world. Other than that, working part-time had its benefits, like financial independence, finding new friends and, most importantly, making your CV look good.

To maintain that streak of being “the best” at everything, I became desperate to find a part-time job. Pressure just kept adding and adding as I looked at others around me, finding that it was easier for them to find a job, yet I was the only one who couldn’t. Looking back, it was difficult to find a part-time job because there just weren’t that many part-time job openings for students back then, even on the student job websites. In other words, it just meant that it wasn’t the right time to start working yet.

But 2021 me just wasn’t having it and made the mistake of rushing into working for a suspicious food vendor in a mall in Albany. All for the sake of leaving a perfect record for my future jobs. As a matter of fact, describing that restaurant

as ‘suspicious’ doesn’t cut it.‘Illegal’ might.

You might think that I’m writing that just to diss my former workplace, but I assure you, I’m not. Rather, I’m writing to spread awareness that there are some companies everywhere in the world that exploit students when given the chance. So, I ended up getting exploited from that parttime “job” by someone who pretended to be my manager. I wasn’t given an employment contract, was deceived, and physically assaulted by my former colleagues. I reported the company to the labour authorities, don’t worry. Because the company was already conducting illegal business by exploiting students (I honestly would not be surprised if they did more illegal stuff behind my back), it wasn’t something I could add to my resumé, in the end. Yet, at that time, I continued with that job because I was naïve, but I also wanted to be seen as an all-rounder in being book-smart and street-smart both to my peers and my future employers. It was then I started asking myself, “why am I striving so hard to be perfect?”

Accepting Imperfection

I guess my perfectionism came from my habit of overthinking, wanting to please others, and the fear of failure. I was always afraid to fail my tests from the moment I stepped into primary school. I just thought that it will be all over if I failed and that I would be seen as ‘stupid’ by my classmates if I had to redo my test.

Even though it never really bothered me to be seen as the “black sheep” amongst the other girls in my class, I began to overthink why I never really fit in during my uni years because I thought I was making the wrong choices. As much as I hate to admit, as the only child, there is a part of me that desires to please others, so I won’t feel abandoned or lonely.

As I write, I still am, unfortunately, a perfectionist. It isn’t something I can overcome immediately, but I did see things through a new light that helped improve my mental health that could help any of our readers struggling with being a perfectionist.

Firstly, see that no one is perfect and neither are you. It’s good to strive for the best, but if you don’t get there, it’s okay. When one door closes, another will open. In other words, flopping a test or not getting a job while everyone else is getting hired doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world. Of course, you should aim to get good grades and a job, but just try your best in achieving your goals. Nothing in life ever goes as planned, so why should you plan to please others when people and life itself are so unpredictable? Since life is unpredictable, it doesn’t mean that you’re a failure, some things just happen at the wrong time.

Lastly, love yourself. It’s probably a slogan you’ve seen everywhere in commercials, but seriously though, you are enough. No one else is like you.

Illustration by Annick Harvey

Leave Rongoā Māori to Tangata Whenua

When I think of my personal wellbeing, my connection to te ao Māori is a vital part of keeping myself happy, healthy and thriving in the world. One way I connect to te ao Māori is through rongoā Māori such as mirimiri, rongoā rākau, and matakite. I’m blessed to have a kare that has me up to my ears in kawakawa balm, and connections who can provide matakite readings when I need guidance. Growing up in te ao Pākeha, it’s been both refreshing and life changing to engage in te ao Māori through its various modalities of rongoā. However, the state of rongoā Māori in Aotearoa law is currently subject to change, with many rongoā practitioners fearing that history may be at risk of repeating itself.

Before we dive into the legality of it all, let’s talk a bit about what rongoā Māori encompasses. As told by Lily KeatsFarr in her 2022 Massey University thesis Exploring Everyday Engagement with Rongoā Māori and Well-Being, rongoā Māori are healing systems developed in pre-colonial society to support the health and wellbeing of Māori. It covers a range of different techniques such as mirimiri, rongoā rākau, karakia, matakite and purepure. Not only is it health and healing-centred, but it’s a way of life for Māori, contributing towards our cultural identity as well as connecting us with the spiritual realms, our whānau and te taiao. Overall, it’s about striking a balance between the mind, body, and soul in connection to the different aspects of our lives. In recent decades, Aotearoa has seen a massive revival in the world of rongoā Māori, with Keats-Farr suggesting possible factors for such a resurgence being the Māori cultural renaissance, a loss of trust in mainstream healthcare, lack of access to healthcare services for Māori, and the legal limitations imposed on healing.

At the end of November 2022, the Therapeutic Products Bill was introduced with an intention to provide thorough and safer regulations around therapeutic products, including rongoā Māori. On Radio New Zealand on March 4 this year, they shared that the government called this a “better system to protect rongoā Māori in law”. However, the bill also means that the ways in which rongoā Māori are created, trialled, publicized, and exported will be changed, with many rongoā Māori practitioners fearing this may be a repeat of the 1907 Tohunga Suppression Act. This act was created with the intention to stop traditional Māori healing practices from being used and replace them with Western medicine. On the New Zealand Parliament website, the bill has almost 17,000 public submissions, with many of the submissions objecting to it.

At Parliament’s first reading of the bill in December last year, Debbie Ngarewa-Packer of Te Pāti Māori pointed out why many Māori are likening this bill to the Tohunga Suppression

Act, with the main reason being the government’s failure to engage with tangata whenua in the process. In order to discuss protection of rongoā Māori through regulation, Ngarewa-Packer urges the government to include tangata whenua in the conversation, more specifically rongoā practitioners and kaimahi. “This bill doesn’t protect rongoā at all, but brings civil and criminal penalties into practice, which concerns us,” she said.

Rongoā Māori practitioners themselves have also come forward and shared kōrero with the media about their concerns. In a March 7 article by Tema Hemi of Te Ao Māori News, practitioner Renee MacDonald worried that the bill would “diminish” rongoā Māori: “Us going underground is a big deal because we don’t want to have to do that. And the Tohunga Suppression Act did that to us for a very long time and it shouldn’t be happening again … It is a little bit scary because I have a business to run.”

In another Massey University thesis, Rongoā Māori through the eyes of Māori healers, Glenis Mark’s kōrero with a range of healers further stressed the importance of keeping Māori knowledge self-governing in the face of colonisation. One healer saw rongoā Māori as a vehicle of decolonisation through uniting Māori: “At the end of the day, if we become united in our whakaaro… you don’t need the rest of the world to heal yourself. You can heal yourself and heal others just like that. Rongoā Māori starts here, because you are Māori” (Pp. 131).

Another healer tapped into the principles of tino rangatiratanga and mana motuhake, indicating that returning to the ways of thinking that our tīpuna aligned with would allow a pathway to live with wairua and create healing; “They took what they needed, so basically, go back to basics and if we can all start doing that, it can make us all a stronger base” (Pp. 132). This chapter of the thesis overall showed the ways in which holding on to the customs of our tīpuna, such as rongoā Māori, can begin to heal the impact of colonisation and act as a form of decolonisation, unifying Māori and keeping our knowledge and traditions intact. My kare Rangimarie Angell also shed some light on her whānau experience with rongoā Māori, with her māmā growing their whānau maara used for healing. Rangimarie regularly makes kawakawa tea whenever they’re feeling unwell or uses a steaming pot of kawakawa when whānau members experience panic attacks. She has used kawakawa balms for her son’s nappy rash and boiled kawakawa leaves to ease her son’s eczema as a baby. She shared how, like me, she did not grow up on the marae or

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speaking te reo. “We were whakamā to do anything Māori because of the Tohunga Suppression Act. So, for Mum to grow kawa, it was exciting … Rongoā isn’t just medicine. It’s healing, it’s spiritual, and it connects us to our ancestors, the atua, and the spirits of te taiao.”

The Therapeutic Products Bill may seem kei te pai, in theory. Like, safer products for all? Of course, people want that. But without the proper engagement with tangata whenua, we are at gigantic risk of losing such valuable knowledge and taonga for Māori. We’re in danger of losing a form of connection with our tīpuna, our atua and te taiao, a method of healing and decolonisation, and an avenue for strengthening our cultural identity. Considering many of our people are still healing from intergenerational trauma caused by the Tohunga Suppression Act, a possible repeat is terrifying for us. We can only hope that the government begins the engagement needed to make necessary adjustments to the bill that properly protect rongoā Māori, its tohunga, and its practitioners. I long for the day that our customs and traditions stop being dictated by Pākeha systems and are wholly placed in the hands of our people instead. By Māori, for Māori is forever the best way; honour Te Tiriti ALWAYS.

Rongoā- medicine, treatment

Mirimiri- massage

Rongoā rākau- plant remedies

Matakite- special intuition, clairvoyance

Kare- dear friend

Karakia- prayer

Purepure- Spiritual cleansing ceremony

Te taiao- nature

Kaimahi- workers

Kōrero- discourse, talk/s

Whakaaro- Understanding, idea

Tino rangatiratanga- total sovereignty

Mana Motuhake- self-governance

Tīpuna- ancestors

Wairua- soul, spirit

Maara/Māra- garden

Whakamā- Ashamed

Kei te pai- Good

Taonga- treasure/s

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Burn Baby Burn

Aside from being a series of racing games released in the early 2000s, burnout is an incredibly fun and not at all debilitating thing we humans experience from time to time. And if I’m being honest, I’m in the midst of it right now. I’m willing to bet many of you are, too.

It’s not surprising, the world is fucking scary, and things seem so hopeless right now. Rent and food are now a seemingly constant worry, and that’s on top of our studies. Studying just feels like a chore overall. It’s hard to remember why we even started this sometimes. I’m in my fourth year of study, having begun right at the start of a seemingly unstoppable and constantly evolving global pandemic. In short: things are kinda bonkers, and not in a fun Dizzie Rascal kinda way.

At a point, everything gets a bit much, and that’s the time where our mind and body decide to add more to our evergrowing plate in the form of depression, anxiety, brain fog, and overall fatigue. Then, you’re caught in a repeating cycle of not sleeping ‘cause you’re worried, growing evermore worried ‘cause you’re not sleeping, and so on.

At the time of writing, I’ve spent the last few days battling with my own mental health, finding myself unable to do anything except sit before my telly and play Doom. While I’ve been doing that, the pile of work I’ve had sitting there isn’t going away. It’s taken me a while to reach this conclusion, but ultimately that pile of work can just sit there. If we don’t take the time to look after ourselves, our bodies will make that time for us.

You can work yourself so hard to the point where you’re just unable to go on. You’ve burnt yourself out and have nothing left to give. The number of times I’ve gotten sick due to allnighters is astounding. Not to mention, the permanent state of sleep deprivation many of us get in. When we don’t stop and say “okay, now is the time for me to rest,” our bodies end up deciding when rest time is. And usually, that forced rest feels awful. It can leave you bed ridden, depressed, angry at the world, wondering if study is even worth it anymore.

My current state isn’t voluntary, it’s a result of pushing myself without taking a real break, one where I wasn’t stressing about uni work or substituting break time to do other things I’d consider “more productive”. As a quick sidenote, not considering rest time as productive is silly, it’s one of the most productive things we can do for ourselves. As students it feels like we’re constantly in crunch time. Once a deadline’s done, another rears its head. It feels like there’s no time for us to have… well, time for US.

Life is hard, studying just adds to that. Not to mention, the need for income means many of us are working on top of study. When the hell are we meant to rest? Finding time for ourselves can lead to us being up at three in the morning because we NEED that personal time to do nothing except rest and relax. Which then leads to getting over tired and yada yada yada.

This might all sound like a huge downer. Take it more as a sign to rest when you can, and properly rest. Just because you’re studying in bed and drinking a hot chocolate doesn’t mean you’re resting. Turn off study, push out the uni thoughts as best as you possibly can. It can be hard to do that, and you may even feel guilty for doing so, but as people, we NEED that time away from our work.

It’s the most beneficial thing you can do for yourself. It’s also so beneficial for your loved ones, too. Our friends and family don’t want to see us run ourselves into the ground or be left bedridden ‘cause of how hard we’re working, or so exhausted that all we can do is cry. They want us to thrive, just as much as we want to get our degrees done so we can go make big money in our respective fields.

If you’re struggling with your work, don’t be afraid to tell your lecturers, they want you to succeed. Talk to your friends and family about how hard you’re finding it, they might drop some nuggets of wisdom you didn’t expect.

Heck, if you and your friends, flatties, halls of residence buddies, or classmates are all in the same boat, why not relax together? Organise a chill hangout, have a book sharing day, go see a movie, play games, take a lovely walk, anything away from the thoughts of uni and study! Even just an hour of time for rest and relaxation can make a difference.

It’s only natural to get absolutely exhausted from time to time. Burnout is nothing to be ashamed about, everyone experiences it from time to time. It’s just a bump in the road, not a pitfall. As Thomas Wayne said in Batman Begins, we fall so we can learn to pick ourselves up. We get exhausted so we can learn to look after ourselves.

End of the day, your health, mental and physical, is the priority here. Assignments can take a backseat while you let yourself feel better. It might not feel productive at first, but rest is the single most productive thing you can do for your body.

So, if you all don’t mind, now that this article is done, I’m going to eat soup and play Doom.

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Sexcapades

Bluebird Blue balls

We were 17, in the back of his 1996 Nissan Bluebird. Underwear around our ankles, moans somewhere between a ‘70s pornstar and a 17-year-old virgin. We were parked up at the lookout, my parents thought I was at Claudia’s house, his parents, well, who really knows what he told them.

After awkwardly fumbling in the backseat and changing positions a few times, he finally got it in, and it felt lush— bar slightly uncomfortable. Nonetheless, I was on my way to being a bonafide non-virgin. Unfortunately, after a few thrusts we were disturbed by a bunch of stoners pulling up beside us.

The result? A half virginity loss and a buildup of blue balls. Fast forward three years, I’d just broken up with my toxic 6’5” boyfriend (need I say more) when we ran into each other at a uni party. After dating such a toxic lad for so long, all I wanted to do was wrap my legs around someone different for more than 30 seconds. So, I did what any horny, kind of heartbroken 20-year-old would do. Pulled down the front of my dress to show optimum cleavage, hiked it up to show optimum leggage, and conveniently stood

in his path so we could “accidentally” run into each other.

“Hey,” I smiled, admiring the way he had grown into his shoulders and dorky personality.

“Hi,” he confidently smirked. Within seconds, I knew this man f**ked. A lot. In the three years since the Bluebird blue balls incident, he had knuckled down at the school of bumpy cuddles and graduated, not with a Not Achieved, but with an Excellence. Things got heated over beer pong. He undressed me with his eyes, I tried to remember what his eggplant looked like and soon we were sneaking away to his bedroom. Clothes? Off. Condom? On. Three years of blue balls? Resolved. We shagged on every single piece of Kmart furniture in his room and only took breaks to giggle about how far we had come.

Safe to say, it was worth the wait.

Got a confession, a naughty tale, a sexy story? Email editor@massivemagazine.org.nz to submit yours 19
This story was written by Girls Get Off Instagram: @girlsgetoff Website: girlsgetoff.com

Solicited Advice

From Pocket

Solicited advice is a weekly column where Massive’s own four-legged Agony Aunty, Pocket, shares her wisdom and experience with you all. She speaks only truths.

Pocket, I’m having a hard time with my work/life balance. I feel taken advantage of at my job, but I have a hard time saying ‘no’. Any advice on getting over my people-pleasing tendencies?

All living creatures besides domesticated dogs and some species of fish have inherent worth and value, and that includes humans like you. There is so much potential inside your doughy, hairless bodies; creativity, empathy, intelligence, and the ability to open tinned food. You are devaluing your inherent worth by bowing to these unreasonable demands. Remember that capitalist overlords don’t create value, labour power does. Create a union, and if that doesn’t improve your working conditions, turn your boss into delicious meat chunks for lucky cats.

Do you have a question you’re dying to have answered? Massive Magazine on Instagram or editor@massivemagazine.org.nz and look out for next week’s issue - no question is too difficult for Pocket.

20

Aquarius Pisces Aries

Jan 20 - Feb 18

Dalby’s Carminative

A carminative is a drug that relieves gas, flatulence, and colic in infants, and Dalby’s claimed to help babies “afflicted with wind, watery gripes, fluxes and other disorders of the stomach and bowels”. During its widespread use in at the end of the 18th and the beginning of the 19th centuries, it was known as “mother’s friend” and was used as a sedative for fussy babies thanks to its active ingredient, a bunch of opium.

Feb 19 - Mar 20

Chlorodyne

Chlorodyne was one of the best known patent medicines during the 19 th century. Originally invented to treat cholera it was sold as a treatment for diarrhea, insomnia, migraines, and more. It was an effective pain reliever and sedative, as a mixturte of laudanum (an alcoholic opium solution), chloroform, and cannabis tincture. The high opiate content made is incredibly addictive, and it was common to see coroner’s reports describing a deceased overdose case being found in a flat littered with empty Chlorodyne bottles.

Mar 21 - Apr 19

Bib-Label Lithiated Lemon-Lime Soda

Charles Leiper Grigg invented this medicated beverage in 1929, lemon-lime flavoured with the addition of the mood-stabilising drug lithium citrate. Although they eventually rebranded to the ‘7-up’ we know today in 1936, they didn’t take the lithium out until 1948.

Taurus Gemini Cancer

Apr 20 - May 20

Dr. Williams’ Pink Pills for Pale People

These little pink pills were marketed in the late 19th and early 20th centuries and contained ferrous sulphate and magnesium sulphate. Dr. Williams claimed them to be a cure for chorea, rheumatism, heart palpitations, nervous headaches, and both male and female weakness. While it didn’t do most of these, the high concentration of iron made them an effective treatment for anaemia.

May 21 - June 21

A.B.C. Liniment

There’s not too much information out there on A.B.C Liniment, possibly because during its sale from 1880‒1935, there were numerous examples of the mixture causing extreme poisoning and at least one death. Although the topical pain relief might have been effective against the advertised conditions of back pain, sciatica, and rheumatism, the ‘A.B.C.’ of the title refers to its three primary ingredients, aconite, belladonna, and chloroform.

June 22 - July 22

Radithor

Radithor was manufactured from 1918 to 1928 by the Bailey Radium Laboratories in New Jersey, and the triple-distilled water contained at least 1 microcurie each of radium 226 and 228. Bailey, who was not a medical doctor, advertised the medicine as “A Cure for the Living Dead” and “Perpetual Sunshine”. When Eben Byers, socialite and avid Radithor user, passed away from using the incredibly carcinogenic mixture, he was buried in a lead-lined coffin. When exhumed for study in ’65, his body was still enormously radioactive.

Leo Virgo Libra

July 23 - Aug 22

Vin

Mariani

Vin Mariani was created by French chemist Angelo Mariani in the 1860s as a patent medicine, and it quickly became an incredibly popular coca wine. In fact, it was endorsed by Pope Leo XIII, and famously consumed by Pope Pius X, Thomas Edison, and Ulysses S. Grant. The ethanol in wine acts as a solvent for the added coca leaves, which means the final Vin Mariani contained 6mg of cocaine per fluid ounce for restoring health, energy, and vitality.

Aug 23 - Sep 22

Coca-Cola

When launched in 1886, Coca-Cola’s two key ingredients were cocaine and caffeine, from the coca leaf and the kola nut, hence the name. Marketed as a ‘temperance’ version of coca wine, as it did not contain alcohol, Coca-Cola claimed to be curative for morphine addiction, indigestion, nerve disorders, and impotence.

Scorpio Sagittarius

Oct 24 - Nov 21

Bile Beans

Bile Beans were created by chemist Charles Forde from a traditional recipe and utilised completely unheard of and exotic Australian vegetables. Aside from the facts that Forde was a made-up alias for the quack Charles Fulford (who was not a doctor) and it was made of pretty normal ingredients like rhubarb, liquorice, and menthol, it was actually harmless, unlike many other medicines on this list. It was listed as a cure-all tonic as well as a weight loss treatment, which it was to an extent because of its laxative properties.

Nov 22 - Dec 21

Buckfast Tonic Wine

The Benedictine monks at Buckfast Abbey first made the tonic wine in the 1890s, and it consists of pure caffeine added to fortified wine for “good health and lively blood.” The drink is still in production, and because of its high alcohol and caffeine content, it has earned nicknames in Scotland like ‘wreck the hoose juice’, ‘commotion lotion’, and ‘a bottle of “what the hell are you looking at?”’.

Sep 23 - Oct 23

Hamlin’s Wizard Oil

First produced in 1861 in Chicago by John Austin Hamlin, who was a former magician and not a doctor, it was advertised through a travelling show across the midwest. Although it was primarily alcohol, it also contained dangerous ingredients like turpentine, chloroform, and ammonia. Hamlin’s Wizard Oil claimed to be both a pain reliever for sore muscles and a cure for pneumonia, diphtheria, earache, toothache, headache, and cancer.

Capricorn

Dec 22 - Jan 19

Daffy’s Elixir

Daffy’s was marketed as a cure-all for children’s ailments and was common across Britain during the 18th century. According to one advertisement, it was used for the following ailments: Agues, Piles, Fits of the Mother, Vapours from the Spleen, Green Sickness, Worms, Rickets, Stones, Wind and Crudities, Gout, Stone or Gravel in the Kidnies, Griping of the Bowels, Dropsy, and Scurvy. Luckily, it was made of brandy and harmless herbs, so it didn’t kill any babies.

21

Basic Witch

A humble review brought to you by a local Witch-aboutWellington. Reviewing the places and things that will help you develop your pagan practices, revel in your arcane knowledge, and ascend to your highest self. This week, this Witch-about-Wellington has once again ventured beyond our city’s boundaries to explore further afield. However, unlike my trip to Palmerston North a few weeks ago, I travelled to Auckland on purpose. My broom steered me straight and true on an overnight flight up to the Massey Albany campus and some surrounding areas, as I was looking for wild Ngutukākā (the redflowering Kākābeak, Clianthus puniceus) to aid DOC’s conservation efforts in propagating seeds around Northland. It’s important to conserve this native flower, as I need it to create the potent painkiller that stops DOC workers from noticing that I’m harvesting their hair. While on my journey, I stopped a few places to review.

Albany Village Cemetery

5 stars ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

What a picturesque cemetery! Conveniently located opposite a high school for a true, visceral meditation on the continual cycles of death and life; the deep and unearthly reality of inhabiting flesh and bone, that unforgiving cradle. A death of ‘self’ and is there such a thing to begin with? The primal scream of a baby’s traumatic entrance to our side of life; cold and hard, the eternal light blazing, jaws full of teeth. Skin is ripped. Bones break. Death takes us all at once, restless wind, or little by little, shapeless cattle moving past the event horizon. According to findagrave.com, there are over 400 memorials here. Wow!

Sculpture:

The Golden Promise, or the giant gold chicken wing

5 stars ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

The Golden Promise sculpture was designed by established Auckland artist Reuben Paterson as an altar of sorts for the local witches. The giant chicken wing, made with precious metal no less, means you don’t need to slaughter your own chicken when you perform a rite that requires that in the square. All you’ll need to bring, other than your ritualistic dagger and your campus pass, is your own avian blood, which many of us have bottled anyway.

Place: Restaurant:

McDonalds Albany

3 stars ★ ★ ★

Even I, a highly astral-connected and enlightened witch, can’t resist the allure of the golden arches on occasion. High proportion of people sleeping (having a McNap) on the bench seats, but it was breakfast time and this doesn’t bother me. I got my usual order of a plain McMuffin, packet of maple syrup, and a small coffee with Big Mac sauce instead of milk (I’m lactose intolerant). Instead, I received an egg and cheese McMuffin, which is disappointing because again, no dairy, but I do have to say they nailed the coffee. Perfect texture. The wrong order didn’t bother me too much as I really come to a Maccas to collect the potent grease and salt runoff that gets washed down the gratings between meal services. Yumm-o!

2020 22
Illustration by Eden Laing

The Highly Sensitive Person (HSP)

I’d like you to imagine living with all your senses on high alert. Paired with a vivid and rich inner world where all your emotions are magnified. Sensory Processing Sensitivity is another name for Highly Sensitive. This personality feature involves a deeper cognitive processing of physical, social, and emotional stimuli, in addition to a heightened sensitivity of the central nervous system.

Being highly sensitive indicates that your nervous system is more susceptible to all types of stimuli. This includes visual cues like lights and auditory cues like music. Individuals who are Highly Sensitive are also more perceptive than the average person, including social cues like voice tone or subtle body language.

Highly Sensitive people experience external and internal stimuli to a more intense and deeper level than a non-Highly Sensitive person.

What is sensory overload?

When your senses are overstimulated, it is known as sensory overload. External stimuli in your environment cause this overstimulation to occur, when your senses gather more data than your brain can handle.

For instance, being exposed to really loud music may overload your sense of hearing. If you’re exposed to intense fluorescent lighting, your vision could also feel strained.

The following are some of the most typical causes of sensory overload: loud noise, certain textures, crowded spaces, strong smells, stress, and fatigue.

When I experience sensory overload, every little thing around me is suddenly intensified by 1000x and usually, it comes without warning. I’m not quite sure what triggers sensory overload for me, it’s different every time. But I think tiredness is my main one. This can happen if something is too loud, too bright, smells too strong, lots of people are talking at once, or there are just lots of emotions happening around me. If one of these senses are triggered, it starts a domino effect of everything being too much when just a minute ago it was all fine.

What does sensory overload look like?

Loud traffic noises may be too much for some people to handle. Some people could feel overstimulated by multiple discussions at once. When exposed to specific food textures, some people may become agitated. Some people would rather remain quiet and use their hands to block out loud noises or bright lights.

Some things that can cause sensory overload are; multitasking, feeling rushed, when we don’t have any downtime, when our feelings are minimized, and when our space is cluttered. Every Highly Sensitive person reacts differently but there are a few reactions which are common, like the urge to cover your ears and eyes, restlessness, extreme discomfort, panic, and physical, mental and emotional exhaustion.

How I cope with sensory overload

I find I need to have a set night routine. I notice that making sure I have alone time at the end of each day helps me get though the next day a little bit easier. This can be as simple as finding a show you like to watch by yourself. I usually watch Netflix, with dimmed lighting and a cup of peppermint tea in bed at the end of each day. This helps me unwind from the busyness of the day and everything that I process. I personally think this is a very important thing for me to do as a Highly Sensitive person, and I have control of my surroundings and environment at this point.

Why it’s so hard to explain sensitivity

The truth is that many children who are Highly Sensitive are told they are broken even when they are totally normal, and this stigma continues into adulthood. The largest difficulty might simply be the problem of perception. People that are Highly Sensitive have unique experiences with the world. Noises that seem like background to most sound intrusive to Highly Sensitive people. And to those who are extremely sensitive, everyone’s feelings that they believe they are hiding are on full display. For Highly Sensitive people, even tastes and textures can feel ‘louder, ‘busier,’ or ‘more salient’.

23

Letters to first year me

After a stressful return to study as a postgrad journalism student, I realised all I needed to do was think about what I would say to ‘first year me’. I also decided I would talk to a clinical psychologist, and other students around campus on post-it notes.

Over the past six weeks I have been through the rigmarole of moving cities to study at MasseyUniversity for the third time. I packed up all my life into my cousin’s van and paid him $100 and a full tank to use it for the move.

I found three flatmates on Facebook who I had never met. We chose ‘Location, Location, Location,’ over property. It is one of the worst houses on the street but 30 seconds from the beach. Two of us only saw the house via zoom.

When we moved in, we discovered our front door leaked, our garage door was jammed and half open. We have potholes in our driveway. Our toilet window wouldn’t shut - so we had an icy tush on a cold day. The neighbour said sand blows through our windows with a southerly. Our shower broke and was only hanging up by a piece of rope. We have a piece of unplastered MDF board in our lounge covering a hole where a door used to be, as our landlord divided one house into two. Our house number wasn’t even in the postal system. My bedroom is around 2.5m x 2.7m. Yeah, I am into shoebox-minimalist living. #studentlife.

I found it a very stressful transition and had many sleepless nights while getting settled.

The Monday of class, we had a ‘bootcamp week’ and were thrown into the deep end. That was the week I chose to drink decaf— I did not need the extra stimulation. I knew that I had to fight for my health and wellbeing. This was a time when I needed to be proactive and practice selfcare. Some thoughts of encouragement I had to myself were:

“This time it’s going to be different, I am a ‘real’ adult now.”

“Make time for people because they are important, and you need connection. Don’t just focus on work like last time.”

“Okay Kate, you need to remember to be gentle to yourself,” my internal counsellor said.

I recalled the words of my mother, “have a good work life balance.”

My current flatmates offered some advice and said, “don’t let your mind bully your body.”

As I brainstormed my mental health article, my flatmate

Lauren told me her story as a first-year student. When Lauren moved out of her hostel, she left a magazine cut out and wrote a letter with ‘you will get through this’ for the person moving in that year.

I thought, what a beautiful offer of support and way to reach out. How would I encourage first year me?

Me: Kate you have just had one of the biggest changes of your life. Your freedom level has gone from zero to 100. You live with an unknown, eclectic group of people. You know nothing about how to set boundaries yet or have healthy confrontation with flatmates. Give it time— you will.

P.S. don’t just eat Mi Goreng noodles, garlic butter and white bread, otherwise you will gain 10 KG and frequently get the flu. You need good nutrition for your temple. x

I asked Wellington clinical psychologist Dougal Sutherland the same question.

Dougal’s response: “You know what? Most things turn out okay and you would care less about what people thought of you if you realised how little other people think about you. We think ‘it’s all about me’. Actually, the things we think are really embarrassing or really silly/dumb, most other people don’t notice or they go ‘oh yeah I did that’. It’s no big deal.”

“I think the other thing I would say is be kinder to yourself and know that it’s okay not to get things right all the time. That is part of being alive and you never will. It will work out okay,” Dougal said.

I asked others on campus to write a note to first year you.

24

A Scroll into the Media Black hole

You might have heard the term before, and in this technological age it is likely you have fallen victim to the ever-horrifying ‘doom scroll’. If you are unfamiliar, doom scrolling is where you find yourself in a vicious and often cyclical media wormhole. Today I’ll be speaking directly to social media and from personal experience. I’m no expert but I have found myself in the scrolling spiral more times than I’d care to admit.

Before I continue, I want to congratulate you and thank you for picking up this bit of paper. Unlike me, even during this writing, I am distracted by the void on my phone. It’s a nightmare and, unfortunately, a habit I’ve caught myself doing. I don’t know about you, but I go to check the time and whilst I’m at it I might as well flood by eyeballs with content. Flick through various apps, and then lock my phone, completely forgetting what I was meaning to check. I’m not one hundred percent sure why, but I’ll open an app and just scroll for five minutes, but suddenly my phones on 5% and it’s dark outside. Why? It’s crazy how you can just scroll and scroll though videos, posts, texts without thinking. You always have access to endless media in your hand – scary right? Honestly horrifying, I hadn’t heard of a name for this phenomenon until recently, and immediately I knew what it meant.

There is something so familiar about scrolling through the social media of your choosing and staying there for undefinable amounts of time. I have often wondered why, especially when I’m not really interested in the content anyway. I assume it’s because I’m bored or have nothing better to do. This is a half-truth, almost always there is something better to do but it’s difficult to pull away from that blue light. And once you’re sucked in, it is hard to get out of the media wormhole. From watching videos of cats doing funny little dances, movie clips, and influencers reviewing random crap to the endless amounts of capybara clips circulating my feed, it’s increasingly difficult to escape. Not to say scrolling is an inheritably bad thing, it can be a welcome time out. However, when it passes into distraction and then (occasionally) followed by guilt, it’s not so good. What

is also surprising is how exhausting it is to scroll.

Taking in so much information constantly can’t be all that good for your wellbeing, right? Now, I shouldn’t get started on this because the thought frustrates me, but it must be said. A part 2? I can understand you might have a lot to say and in that case three minutes isn’t a long time. BUT I have just told myself this is the last clip I’m watching however you have left me on a cliff-hanger, and I must continue. How else will I ever know what happened to that dude with

the sunglasses on this obscure, overly specific, and mildly interesting first date? In these incidences, I will often spend upwards of two minutes scrolling through your page to find that dreaded part two. Which often leads to a part three and inevitable disappointment, after which I sit in the veil of darkness that has swallowed my room, frustrated with myself for wasting my own time.

So, I’ve had a think of ways to nip this scrolling in the metaphorical bud before I go completely insane. I once deleted all my social media apps for three months in high school. This wasn’t the worst idea but for a couple reasons, it didn’t work. On the positive side, I had three months of peace from the media rat-race and accompanying scroll into the black hole. On the flip side, my friends thought I’d disappeared. I was hard to reach in a world where social media is a major form of communication. Now, in the working world, social media is a tool that unfortunately I can no longer purge from my phone.

So, I suggest a time limit. Now you can set a limit on most social media apps to remind you of your location on the space-time continuum. Not a bad idea, I must say. Even if you snooze the time like me with my morning alarm, at least you know how long you’ve been there for. I tell you I dread the weekly screen report that pops up to mock me. Yet, I suppose that’s a good look in the mirror.

I must urge you not to be too hard on yourself, and I am in no position to judge your screen time. Media is designed to keep you watching, especially social media platforms like TikTok. It’s a tough predicament many of us find ourselves in daily. I only can say to keep moderation in mind, and if you find yourself doom scrolling like me, just remember that you’ll never reach the bottom of the explore page. Seriously, and mathematically, the odds are not in your favour.

26
Illustration by Kai Laing

Q and A with Massey Chaplins

What we do & what services we offer:

Chaplains provide relaxed spaces to connect and provide a listening ear that’s independent of (but supported by) the University. This takes different forms across the three campuses, but usually includes coffee, tea, free breakfasts, quiet areas, and support to have relaxing times and find community. We also run simple chapel services which are open to anyone, whether they see themselves as having faith, or being ‘religious’ or not.

We’re not counsellors but can link you with the full range of specific services when needed. Above all, we’re here to support students growing in their well-being in whatever ways are uniquely relevant for them while studying.

We think Te Whare Tapa Whā provides a wonderful approach to enhancing well-being; taha tinana, physical health; taha whānau, family or social health; taha hinengaro, mental health; and taha wairua, spiritual health.

Chaplains are people of faith, so we have a particular interest in taha wairua; the big questions like who am I? What’s my purpose? Is there a God/s? and so on.

What is your advice for staying happy and healthy while studying?

Each of us does our ‘being human’ in a unique and dynamic way, so being aware of all the dimensions of Te Whare Tapa Whā and attending to any that may out of balance is a helpful place to start, and to continue flourishing! We’re keen to offer caring and connection to support you as you’re navigating through your university study and life.

Challenges?

Campus chaplains recognise that the Covid pandemic has reduced in-person connections, which many of us had got used to not having so much of over the last three years. That’s taken a toll on mental health, particularly for young people, and there’s also increased financial stresses. We don’t have magic fixes for these, but so far in 2023 it’s been great to see more people and energy on campus! Plus, we’re open to hearing ideas students or staff may have to enhance student (and staff) well-being in any way.

Chaplaincy service on Auckland campus

Discover social events, worship services, language classes and more.

Location: Massey Business School building, level 1

Email: chaplain.auckland@massey.ac.nz

Phone: +64 9 213 6449

Instagram: @lui_thedog

Facebook: Spiritual Wellbeing Auckland

Chaplaincy service on Manawatū campus

Regular events are held at Te Waiora, including our famous pancake night on Wednesdays.

Location: The Centre – Te Waiora

Email: chaplain.manawatu@massey.ac.nz

Phone: +64 6 951 7730

Facebook: Spiritual Wellbeing Manawatu

Chaplaincy service on Wellington campus

Find us at Wellbeing Space (next to the Pyramid) on Wednesdays. Free breakfast and Chapel at noon.

Location: Student Services Trust building, block 9, level 2 (above Tussock)

Email: chaplain.wellington@massey.ac.nz

Phone: +64 4 979 3375

Facebook: Spiritual Wellbeing Wellington

Instagram: @masseychaplaincywellington

28

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