Matooke Republic 17-23 March 2016

BARBIE’S COLUMN

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Sharing parenting tips ... P.17

ON THE SCENE

Hijab and Kanzu red carpet show... P.8-9 Thursday, March 17-23, 2016

FR

MATOOKE

REPUBLIC

www.matookerepublic.com FRESHLY PEELED INFO

Meet Fullstop.

Uganda’s shortest man BAD BLACK Tell all interview ... P6

Standing at 84cm, he is shorter than the average two-year-old.

#ELECTION PETITION. ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW ... P3

SPORTS

Commentary by Supersport’s Kabuura... P.23

2 MATOOKE REPUBLIC/ Thursday March 17-23, 2016

Seven Days

Social Media I Trending I Vibe

HOT TOPIC

Bad Black returns Good Brown Van Essie: Hands up Bad Black. U didn’t give up Hun. We need these kind of women, strong n bold. Mbu “wats up with Meddie Sentongo,” the news reporter asked. Den Bad Black said, “What is Sentongo? Is it some kind of food?”...aaaaarrrrrh! May God bless

Mp Bakireke Nambooze‎: “Nze ndi mukyala mulokole.....mwe abawala benalinga nabo temunsemberera muli ba Gold diggers” Anti kale.... this Bad black thing is good for sad minds... light moment to cheer me as I reflect on the Kasese cold blood murders.

Stan-Lee Kaweesa: What makes Shanita Namuyimbwa aka Badblack’s release newsworthy? I asked myself why does the media give so much prominence to a person of that nature? Aren’t there more “serious” stuff like infant mortality, HIV, lack of medicines to make the front news? On thinking about it further behind every “serious” issue is a thief. Why are there no drugs in hospitals, why do we have potholes, why are the 2016 elections disputed in court, unemployment name it all!

Isn’t it really about thieves? So for the media it’s a choice between one thief or the other... Truth is, if media stopped writing about thieves we risk having no news at all.

Tweny Ben Ali: Bad Black’s release from jail makes me admire to go to jail. I also want to come out a muzungu. #Darkblack# Brownblack Muhame Kariisa Bruce: Who burnt Bad black in Luziira ?? This must be fully investigated by the police, this is unacceptable, two years in jail and you come out looking this burnt? This is serious...

Enock K Kimbowa: I need to see the ‘before’ pictures when #BadBlack went to jail. Or see an optician.

Omoding David: At least Bad Black wasn’t in Tubonga nawe so she’s one of us let’s listen to her.

Mwanje Jethro Mimz: Kikyo atti Shanitah, Bad Black it’s like am seeing Bad Brown.

Wilfred Businge: But why are TVs showing us #BadBlack really, are we that idle? A full three minutes airtime wasted! This Banana Republic is interesting!! She looks scary!

Zisabusolo The-Critic: I think that some gudu should change from #BadBlack to #GoodBrown.

Mya Mai: She looks like albino. Anything is possible with money.

Sho Ez: Money?... Jik si wabitaano?

Josh S’Khandy: Bad black yekubye Sadolin... oba oyo gwebayita brilliant white!!#

jhtheafricangirl: It has been said, ‘time heals all wounds.’

I do not agree. The wounds remain.

In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never ggggone. #FOREVEREMMA babe_zarimond: Always the ragga king kagirihakie: We miss you Emma. sheebahricherthisyear: May God Continue Resting You In Peace.

Innocent Nahabwe: The papers are awash with news that convicted fraudster Bad Black has been released. Recently, I saw a TV interview on a kids show where one said she wanted to be like Bad Black when she grows up.

Theft and fraud in this country is so endemic that bigger thieves are now glorified. They are now the role models.

I like her transfiguration. .from Black to whatever colour it is but man....I cry for what we have become as a society ..... ani atuloga?

Shawn Mubiru Jr: Is it allowed for the Petitioner to fire some of his lawyers and appoint new ones at this stage? #UGPetition16.

Arinaitwe Otim Rugyendo: Star #UGPetition16 Lawyer Jude Byamukama topped country in 2003 A’levels.‬

Jude Byamukama

Tumwekwasize Bahene Francis: This Young Smart Young Lawyer by the names of Jude Byamukama almost made me pick interest in the ongoing 2016 Presidential Election petition.

During his brilliant submission he said. ‘’What looks like a landslide victory may actually be a narrow victory.

If the quality of the voting process is poor then numbers become irrelevant in that instance ‘’ This is the lawyer to be looked at.

Where have you been hiding my brother?

Chris Obore: If the Supreme Court rules in favour of the petitioner, it will be praised as independent and the judges will be said to be people of integrity and have Uganda’s interests at heart. But if they rule in favour of the defendants, the court will be been seen as cadres of the regime whose interest is only their jobs and that they have no love for the country. In other words, either way the court is damned. That is the real challenge in this country. We cry for institutions yet unwilling to respect decisions of the institutions. If you don’t believe in the institution, why petition it?

Just for laughs

Alan Kasujja @kasujja: Thinking about #UgPetition16. Amicus guidelines are now streamlined. It used to be up to the courts to ‘invite’ Amicus. So, precedent is set .

Patoranking @pyepar: Being a lawyer requires the utmost patience tht I dnt have!! I cnt stand people defending something they know is wrong too #UgPetition16 Nvannungi @she_infinite: Can social Media status updates be submitted as Affidavits in court? Shouldn’t Verified accounts be considered at least? #UgPetition16

Thursday 17-23 March, 2016/ MATOOKE REPUBLIC 3

18

Context I Depth

News Feature

A blonde’s guide to the election petition Amicus what? The Supreme Court this week began hearing Amama Mbabazi’s election petition. We explain everything about it.

BY HENRY H. SSALI

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n March 1, former prime minister and candidate in February’s presidential poll, John Patrick Amama Mbabazi petitioned the Supreme Court to nullify President Yoweri Museveni’s election, citing irregularities in the poll. The President was jointly sued with the Electoral Commission and the Attorney General.

Just in time

Museveni team lawyer Kiryowa Kiwanuka makes a submission.

The Constitution requires that a candidate with a presidential election petition files it not later than 10 working days from the announcement of the election results. Mbabazi’s legal team filed its petition on the last day, just a few minutes to the deadline.

(Monday and Tuesday) to present their case. The subsequent three days were awarded to each of the three respondents.

30 days

Amicus curiae

The Supreme Court is required to hear an electoral petition and make its ruling within 30 days from the date the petition is filed. The Supreme Court has set March 31 as the day it will make its ruling.

Early twist

Before the hearing started, Mbabazi’s legal team successfully applied to amend its petition on the grounds that they had made general allegations and wanted to improve the petition by narrowing down to specifics. Team Mbabazi added 15 new grounds to their original submission.

Amama’s demands

Among Mbabazi’s key demands are for court to order fresh elections, a recount of votes in 45 districts including Kampala, Wakiso, Jinja, Luweero, Apac, Moroto, Rukungiri, Butambala, Kanungu and Soroti, as well as an order for President Museveni to meet the costs of the petition.

The bench

The nine judges hearing the petition are led by Chief Justice Bart Katureebe. The eight other judges on the petition are justices: Jotham Tumwesigye, Dr Esther Kisaakye, Mary Stella Arach-Amoko, Augustine Nshimye, Eldad Mwangusya, Rubby Aweri-Opio, Faith Mwondha and Prof Lillian Tibatemwa Ekirikubinza.

Legal teams

More than 60 lawyers (from all sides) are arguing the petition. Some of the prominent names on the petitioner’s side include Severino Twinobusingye, Fred Muwema and Mohmed Mbabazi, while the main respondent’s team includes Kiryowa Kiwanuka, Macdusman Kabega, Oscar Kambona and Oscar Kihika.

Peerless

Justice Katureebe is the only one of the nine justices hearing the petition to have been involved with a presidential petition previously.

He was part of the bench in 2006 when Dr Kizza Besigye petitioned the Supreme Court seeking to overturn the election of President Museveni.

The hearing

Once the actual hearing started on Monday this week, Mbabazi and his legal team had two days

The catchphrase that has come to be associated with this petition is the term ‘amicus curiae’ or ‘friend of the court’ which gained popularity in after nine Makerere University dons successfully applied to court to join the petition as non-partisan

legal experts offering guidance and assistance wherever they might see the need. They include Oloka Onyango, Sylvia Tamale, Kakungulu Mayambala, Kabumba Busingye, Christopher Mbaziira, Rose Nakeyi, Daniel Ruhweza among others.

Eight civil society members who applied to join the petition as friends of the court had their request denied, on grounds including the fact that some had proved partisan in the aftermath of the election.

Third petition

It is the third time President Museveni’s election victory is being contested in the Supreme Court. In 2001 and 2006, Dr Besigye similarly petitioned against the incumbent’s victories.

But in both cases court ruled that although there had been irregularities in the electoral processes, they had not substantially affected the outcome of those elections hence the results were not overruled.

Amama team allegations nThat the Electoral Commission acted against the law to allow President Museveni to be nominated later than the stipulated deadline. nThat President Museveni ‘bribed’ voters in Busoga by donating to them (30,000 families) 500 hectares of Bukaleba forest reserve in Bukatuube sub-county. nThat Mr. Museveni on several occasions threatened to arrest fellow presidential candidates and used derogatory and reckless language when he stated that they and their supporters had touched “the anus of a leopard.” nThat the President bribed voters in West Nile with hoes. nThat the president used elements of the Police and the military forces to oppress his opponents and their supporters and tilt the electoral process in his favour. nThat Electoral Commission officials/agents ticked ballot papers in President Museveni’s favour and later stuffed them into ballot boxes or gave them to voters to put in.

4 MATOOKE REPUBLIC / Thursday March 17-23 2016

Feature

Profile I One of a Kind

As tall as a toddler:

MEET FULLSTOP Uganda’s shortest man Standing at 2 feet 7 inches (84cm), the Amarula Family comedian is aptly named Fullstop, because he comfortably claims the accolade for shortest adult Ugandan measured. He told Matooke Republic’s Joseph Ssemutooke his story.

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am at Kulekana trading centre along Salaama Road, only a few kilometres from the upscale lakeside suburb of Munyonyo. I am in no doubt this is the spot where, less than four minutes ago, Amarula Family comedian Dan Kizito, stage name Fullstop, asked me to find him.

I am about to reach for my phone to call and tell him I’ve arrived but do not see him when a deep masculine voice rings out: “I’m here, I’m here!” I turn and there he is, competing in height with a boda boda tyre. He had been walking in the direction of our car, but with a height disadvantage against everyone else on the road, it was inevitable that I initially missed him.

As he leads me to his house, from where he will tell me his story, nearly everyone we meet along the way seems to have something nice to say to him; a neighbour teasing him, another feigning envy because of Fullstop’s “privileged status” as a ‘media magnet’. Two or three others address him as ‘Celeb’, while children rush to pose with him for pictures once they notice a camera. All of them easily dwarf him.

Seen on television, Fullstop appears to be about the height of a lower-level primary school child. In person, he doesn’t look like he could beat many toddlers in a height contest.

His 2 feet 7 inch (84cm) frame is the height a child should be at 22 months old. In fact his son, only one year and six months old, is already taller than him.

Average normal height for boys and men Birth 1 mths 6 mths 1 yr 2 yr 3 yrs 4 yrs 5 yrs 8 yrs 12 yrs 15 yrs 18 yrs 20 yrs

49.8 cm (19.6in) 54.8 cm (21.6 in) 67.5 cm (26.6in) 75.7 cm (29.8in) 86.8 cm (34.2in) 95.2 cm (37.5in) 102.3 cm (40.3”) 109.2 cm (43.0in) 128 cm (50.4in) 149.1cm (58.7in) 170.1cm (67.0in) 175.7cm (69.2in ) 177 cm (69.7in)

Normal until polio struck Yet Fullstop, 25, was born normal. But very early in life the comedian would meet with tragedy. “I suffered a polio attack when I was Three generations: Fullstop three months old with his mother and his baby, and the medication who is now taller than him. administered in an attempt to curb the disease affected my muscles and caused stuntedness,” Fullstop told me. “All my siblings and relatives are of normal height, some even really tall.”

His misfortune immediately caused problems. “My dad abandoned me when I got sick,” the comedian continued. “When he realised I wasn’t growing to be of normal height, he stopped turning up to see me and my mum”.

Fullstop would later learn from his mum that his father once asked if he was the child of a goat.

And that was only the beginning. When he started

school about a kilometre from home it wasn’t only physically challenging to get there, the other children teased him viciously, and it took him until P5 to get used to them, after his older sister talked to him about not minding them.

But from very early on, Fullstop figured he had a gift: his height was going to be his special gift.

“From primary school, I was good at singing, dancing, acting and playing instruments. Adding this to my height, I became a treasure in Music, Dance and Drama (MDD) all through school,” he said. Indeed, his talent ensured he studied on either a half or full bursary all the time.

“My headmaster, Nelly Kalyango Kasenene (also a disabled man), found my talent priceless and never wanted to let go of me. For about two years after I left primary school he would call me back, give me the school uniform and have me help the school during district competitions,” Fullstop reminisced.

Joining professional comedy Fullstop with his neighbours. One His undeniable talent in the arts came in is 11 and the other is a nursery handy when, after completing his O’ Levels school going five-year-old. at Trinity College Lweza, and adding to that two technical courses in basic computer science and shoe-making, he still found himself without a job. He had heard, though, that Amarula Family recruited talented Finding Yudaya his love people into their ranks so he gave Sitting with Fullstop outside his two-roomed it a try. rental lets me into another part of the comedian’s “At Amarula I started off with world: a world where the comedian is adored miming and dancing to songs by women. More cries of ‘Celeb’ ring out as one on stage,” Fullstop told me. woman after the other make their way past his “They would play a song and house, each making sure to add a quick lightI would stand there miming hearted comment. One is very specific, asking or dancing. But after a while, Fullstop to “keep her shoes well”. That lets me I learned the other parts like into yet another world of the diminutive comedian acting in scripted skits, and I Fullstop the businessman. was then given a full contract.

Fullstop said he does no more than chit-chat “A full contract is good bewith these women. He is, after all, a committed cause you are part of every gig Born-again Christian and in a stable relationship. the company gets and you are “I have lived with my wife for almost three years paid more money after every show, now,” the comedian told me, his face beaming a unlike those who only come in to act special pride. “Her name is Yudaya Lunkuuse and once in a while.” she will be 19 this year. We have a child of one year Comedy, in fact, has turned out so well that it and six months- Victor Nsubuga.” even brought his father back into his life. Fullstop He believes being on TV helped his case. Yudaya said his father is today very proud of him and who hails from his village initially rejected his tells friends that “the famous Fullstop of Amarula advances, causing him to return to Kampala Family is his son”. The comedian explained that dejected. “It was only when I went back after some he forgave his dad for previously abandoning him, months that she accepted,” he said adding that he and now the two have such a good relationship thinks it was “because she had seen me on TV”. they even visit each other.

Thursday March 17-23 2016, MATOOKE REPUBLIC 5

Profile I One of a kind

He uses his height deficiency to his advantage as a comedian with Amarula Family.

Fullstop the businessman The lady that implored Fullstop to keep her shoes is one of his regular customers in the used women’s shoes business the comedian started using money earned from Amarula Family. He operates from a stall in Katwe, but also has someone who hawks the shoes around in the afternoons, while some people buy from him at home. Business, he said, is really tough as one isn’t assured of always taking something out, unlike drama.

“In our line, we buy the bales at about Shs250,000 each.

There are good days where you can make Shs450,000 after selling the shoes, but one can even fail to recover their money because from a bale you might find there are only a few [good] pairs of shoes, ” Fullstop said.

world's shortest men nChandra Bahadur Dangi (1939–2015) from Nepal. Shortest human adult ever documented and verified to this date. Measured 54.64 cm (21.51 inches), height confirmed by Guinness World Records. nGul Mohammed (1957–1997) from India. Shortest man ever verified up to 2012 when he lost the title to Chandra Bahadur Dangi. Measured 57 cm (22 inches). nJunrey Balawing (1993-) from Philippines. At 60 cm (24 inches), he is currently the world’s shortest living person following Chandra’s death in September last year. nIstván Tóth (1963-1911) from Hungary. At 65 cm (26 inches), he was shortest man at some time. nKhagendra Thapa Magar (1992–) from Nepal. At 67 cm (26 inches) he was shortest man in the world until 2011. nLin Yü-chih (1972–) from Taiwan.

67.5 cm (26.6 inches), former shortest man in the world until 2009. nEdward Niño Hernández (1986–) from Colombia. 70.21 cm (27.64 inches).

Named the shortest man after Pingping died, but lost the title in October 2010 to Magar.[9] nHe Pingping (1988–2010) from China. 74 cm (29 inches).Once officially verified as shortest living man.

DIAL *134#

O N O W O’F

Context

n i m 30

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ONLY A

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Chandra Bahadur, the shortest man that has ever lived.

Junrey Balawing, the shortest human being alive.

6 MATOOKE REPUBLIC / Thursday March 17- 23 2016

Interview

Celebs I People in the News

S D R O W R E IN H

brown After a bleaching job, Black now spots a light complexion

BAD BLACK Socialite Shanita Namuyimbwa was released from Luzira amidst fanfare on Monday. She is already causing a storm on the social scene, writes Jane Nkalubo.

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fter spending two years behind the coolers, she was back to pick up her life in the limelight from where she left off, immediately calling a press conference. It was all lights, camera and action as even mainstream NTV afforded her a live interview during their Luganda news bulletinAkawuungezi. We bet if she was fluent in the Queen’s language, she would also have made the cut for the 9pm Prime Time news.

First things first, what have you learnt from your sentence in Luzira.

I have learnt that Luzira is really the University of Understanding and I thank Justice Catherine Bamugemereire for sentencing me to all that time behind bars because I have learnt a lot. When I went in, I was young, but I have matured during the sentence. I have learnt a lot.

I have learnt to budget and that money is worked for. But then again, I have also worked for what I have. I took the mzungu’s money, but I have worked for it by being arrested for two years!

We are told you had special treatment in Luzira because you are loaded.

I wasn’t given special treatment. There was no special care. I have been a convict, working for the government of Uganda.

How was your sentence like?

It was tough and I even contemplated suicide. But I found Christ and I am now born again. This helped me understand that everything happens for a reason and I came to accept my conditions, patiently waiting for my time to come out.

We heard that you are planning a big homecoming party…

Yes I am planning a party, but I first have to release my song and music video, so I have something to show my fans. I’m hitting the studio to record the music first.

You are into music now?

Yes. I am a princess, which means I cannot do that labourious work like running a boutique and other things women do, yet I have to survive, so I am taking on music to earn a living.

Do you think you will make a hit song, because if the song flops then you can’t make money…

Yes. I have money to buy a good song.

And besides, I am already famous, so I will organise a concert and get some quick money. Because I am famous,

people will come, even if they hear that I am just going to sing three lines… I already have six songs by the way.

So you still have a lot of money like you used to?

Look at me to answer your question. I look like money, yet there is no bank account in Luzira. If I am looking like this straight out of jail, imagine how I will look like a year from now.

Speaking of looks, we can see you are almost a mzungu … how did you become light skinned?

I went to Thailand and I was given six injections and later tablets. I didn’t use those funny funny lotions women use, that is why you see that I don’t have any dark spots. In fact I now want to look like a Chinese (hehehe).

But if you want to become a musician, then people must know how you look so that they follow you…

I want to keep them on their toes guessing who I am and how I look… Hehehe.

We didn’t see any of those girls you used to hang around with during your good old days coming to welcome you from Luzira, yet you used to buy them clothes and cars…

I have put those girls in the category of gold diggers, when the storm comes they disappear. They just wanted money and they abandoned me when I went to Luzira. I have a message for them: girls don’t come near me.

Money and love Black was given a four-year jail term in a case where she was co-accused, along with another socialite Meddie Ssentongo for swindling up to $11m from British national David Greenhalgh of Daveshan Development Ltd, a company Black had formed with the mzungu when they were lovers. In her defence, Black said the money from Greenhalgh was in form of “gifts” and he only reported the embezzlement case as a jilted lover.

And what about your partner in crime Meddie Ssentongo, who you were arrested with over the same crime?

Who is Meddie? I don’t know him.

You must be kidding us, Meddie your accomplice, your Facebook page was even Black Meddie Ssentongo before you were arrested.

Maybe Luzira made me forgetful, but I don’t remember him… I am even going to change my Facebook page.

And what about your friends that you left in Luzira?

I will go back to check on them. I also ask the government to pardon ladies serving long sentences. You cannot imprison a woman for 40 to 50 years, even 20.

And what are your immediate plans?

Travelling. I have to see the world, because I have been locked up for two years.

How are your children?

They are all grown up and speaking.

Bad Black: Shanitah Namuyimbwa before she bleached.

Ex convict: Bad Black looks like she had it easy behind bars.

Thursday March 17-23 2016, MATOOKE REPUBLIC 7

18

Their Words I Ideas

HELLO FROM THE OTHER SIDE

Columns

the incorrigible wiseacre

ABDU KIYAGA

JOSEPH SSEMUTOOKE

Yanked off the highway and nearly paying the price for maalo

Forget universities, let’s build Bad Black institutes of prosperity

L

iving in Kampala teaches you a lot, but multitasking arguably the best of the lot. You have the ability to schedule six appointments and meet in two hours. I carried the same mentality and scheduled two meetings, thirty minutes apart. The hustle to make them taught me the American lesson.

The night prior, I stuffed myself with three double burgers. The body did not object, what it did, however, douse me into a baby’s sleep for it to complete the digestion process. I set the alarm for 6:30am but woke up 30 minutes later.

I had to break many records to be at the bus stop in time. Yet I painfully watched as the bus, 200 feet in sight, took off. Here, buses are not like Kampala commuters that have conductors ask a person carrying a jerry can to the water source, “Ssebo ogenda?”

Not even my desperate waving of the arms could make the driver hold a second. He must have merely shifted his stick to ‘D’ as he watched with bemusement from the rear view mirror what my agony face was like. He left me the banner that read, “Metro bus. Connecting you to places, on time.”

With my shirt untucked, panting, I rumbled for a few minutes and remembered that my destination was a 15-minute walk from the bus stop. As a child, I walked from Bweyogerere to school in the city centre, so the distance here would be a rolex meal.

One. Two... My feet started prodding forward as cars sped by on the six-lane freeway. Lamborghinis, Jaguars, and Mustangs hurtled past as the Ugandan in me beat the tarmac.

And then it happened. A white Chevrolet with two officers, clad in their navy blue bicep hugging uniforms complete with a side arm, pulled to the side.

“Wh’re you heading buddy?” a ginger-haired one I could only identify as Rolando from his name tag asked. Before I could open my mouth, he added, “You know you ain’t supposed to be here, right?”

“I have been here for only three weeks, I didn’t know about this,” I retorted. He looked at me with a I-smell-a-fart face and said, “If I get you here again, you will have to go with me or pay a $70 fine.”

The realisation that while in Kampala one could virtually walk anywhere except when afraid of muggers, in Obamaland, there are ‘no pedestrian’ segments on busy highways.

Cars are moving at a steady 60 miles an hour and you can be penalised for driving slower than that, hence creating traffic.

Rolando threw me to the caged back seat and passed me a doughnut to munch on as he drove me back to my ‘rat’ place. In all honesty, I commend him for not asking me about Idi Amin, but Eddy Kenzo and his kindergarten arithmetic.

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have realised that scores of Ugandans feel the country has been terribly mistaken and misguided in placing the now yellow socialite Shanitah Namuyimbwa, aka Bad Black, in the bright lights ever since her release from Luzira prison earlier this week.

A friend has told me of how he was confounded by the fact that while local media has made Black a shining diamond, many Ugandans return from overseas with PhDs in very esoteric fields of study and with grandiose plans of putting all their learning to the further advancement of the country, yet they find not even houseflies have gathered to have a look at them and record what they have to say. My patriotic and morally straight homie Innocent has lamented what it means for the nation’s little girls to see the former lady of the night shining on all media platforms, yet the same young girls have never heard of the Ugandan ladies winning accolades in serious fields like science and technology and law and writing.

It’s to put all such concerns to bed that I’m forthwith explaining why the newborn ex-convict is actually a priceless national treasure, deserving as much adoration and adulation and emulation as The Pearl of Africa can muster.

Principally, Bad Black has shown Ugandan girls and women how they can quickly contribute to the country’s economic development without wasting a lot of time in school. By venturing out of the country, aligning themselves with rich chaps in developed countries, conning those chaps of billions (here the more ambitious might rob the chaps outright) and bringing that bounty back home into our economy which needs the money to grow. If you haven’t yet done the maths, a woman who takes this path will in one short year yield the country more than one hundred ladies with Ivy League PhDs will fetch in over ten years.

The fresh ex-convict has also illustrated to us all Ugandans that it doesn’t matter how you make your money, rather that it’s all about getting that money and being totally unapologetic about how you made the paper. Especially if you made that money through means the moral police disapproves, Bad Black has shown us that you should intrepidly stand up and show no remorse about your past whatsoever, because you’re now rich and money rules everything.

Bad Black is also living testimony that one shouldn’t remain trapped in a physical appearance one doesn’t like. Call her our own version of Michael Jackson in this regard, she has shown that if you fancy yourself looking Caucasian, go get some injections and tablets to transform you to whatever look you fancy - Chinese, Arabian, Hispanic. And while at it, pay not a single thought about possible health consequences of what you are up to, just go in.

Space is already sounding its war drums; suffice to say that government ought to embrace the recently-released former lover of David Greenhalgh and make of her a national voice and model who goes around speaking to people on how they can follow her lead and contribute significantly to building the country. Or even much better: instead of building more universities and vocational training institutions, government might begin establishing around the entire country Bad Black Insitutes of Prosperity for the ex-convict to go around passing on to the populace her moneymaking skills and knowledge.

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TIO I S O P Y N AN

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-Abdu Kiyaga is a Ugandan living and working in the US

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“Many Ugandans acquire PhDs in esoteric fields but not even houseflies give them attention.”

-jssemutooke@matookerepublic.com

8 MATOOKE REPUBLIC / Thursday March 17-23 2016

On the Scene

On point: Even if the Quran allows four, having this one would be enough.

Photos I Events I Going Out

Swahaba: A male model in one of the stylish kanzus.

Two good: And thanks to Allah, we can have both.

SOMETHING ABOUT S R E T S I S MUSLIM hijab & kanzu show

The Hijab and Kanzu red carpet fashion affair took place at Hotel Africana last Friday. It was a day out for our Muslim brothers and sisters, showcasing the fashion elegance of their religion. Musician Karim Saava provided the entertainment.

Pretty in pink: We also like the gold detail.

Attitude: All that is missing is a smile.

All covered up: When Bad Black went to jail, her friend Rasheedah Masudi became good.

Thursday March 17-23 2016, MATOOKE REPUBLIC 9

Photos I Events I Going Out

On the Scene

Four of them: All these could belong to one Hajji

Emerald: Like a jewel from the orient.

Radiant: Miss Uganda Zaharah Muhammed can make you brave the knife.

Little ones: We don’t know if the peace sign is for swag or FDC.

10 MATOOKE REPUBLIC / Thursday March 17-23 2016

Gossip

Who I What I Where

Bobi names his Easter Monday concert Toka Kwa Barabara B obi Wine might have crafted social media posts and sang songs that suggested he is a supporter of opposition leader Dr Kizza Besigye, but his latest move leaves no room for doubt. The Dembe singer recently changed the name of his annual Easter Monday concert from Ensasage ya Easter Monday, to Ensasage Toka kwa Barabara.

Toka kwa Barabara, Swahili for ‘get out of the way,’ is one of the lines in new music star Adam Mulwana’s Songa Mbele campaign hit song. The song became an overnight hit because it was opposition leader Dr Kiiza Besigye’s 2016 presidential campaign anthem. In the song, Mulwana tells president Museveni to ‘get his bus out of the way for Dr Besigye to enter State House’. We are waiting for Bobi to expound on who exactly should give way at Busabala.

Maurice Kirya’s Sound Cup opening this Friday at Village Mall Bugolobi A

fter the closure of his Sound Cup café at Garden City, singer Maurice Kirya posted a photo of him trimming a boy’s hair in a salon. Kirya went ahead to joke that “he was taking on a new job as a barber”.

Many online sites and tabloids didn’t get the joke though; so they rushed to run stories that the singer had sold off Sound Cup to get into salon business.

The real story is Kirya is setting up a new Sound Cup at Village Mall Bugolobi. Over the weekend, we bumped into Kirya supervising works at Bugolobi and he told us that the café opens Friday this week.

The singer however promised that there would be a grand opening a few weeks later. Congs Kirya!

THUG BREAKS INTO NRM'S MAFABI'S HOUSE A

t about 3.20am last Saturday, presidential adviser David Mafabi woke up to find an unexpected visitor standing at the foot of his bed at his home in Bweyogerere. Mafabi narrated that he shouted at the man and “sprang up in an attempt to grab him”. But “He dashed off very swiftly, and I gave the chase – through the back door which was unbolted, around to the front yard until he disappeared through the gate.”

To Mafabi’s shock, however, “no window or door was broken or forced. Everything was intact, except he had made off with one of my laptops and flash disks.”

Mafabi thinks the thug took advantage of a heavy downpour with strong winds to find his way into his house.

MP Judith Babirye not quitting music If you thought gospel artiste Judith Babirye will be quitting the stage, to concentrate on legislative duties as Buikwe Woman MP, better think again. Babirye who was elected MP in last month’s General Election says she will continue to perform to ensure she wins more hearts for the Lord.

“I might not be able to do as many shows as was the case in the past, but I will still sing for the Lord and the Lord’s people,” Babirye told us at the NRM MPs’ retreat in Kyankwanzi. She also said her going to parliament will definitely bear fruits for the music industry.

“I am going to help musicians shine and I will help them in every possible way I can.”

Boring is Over

And you are oh so over it

Get ready for the brand new, better and twice faster

www.campusbee.ug

Thursday March 17-23 2016, MATOOKE REPUBLIC 11

Who I What I Where

HATERS CALL

DIAMOND PLATNUMZ

I T A N I M U L IL

L

ike any other iconic music star in any part of the world today, Tanzanian singer Diamond Platnumz is time and again hit with charges that he is a member of the alleged powergiving order Illuminati. The charges show up every time someone finds something about Diamond to link to the Illuminati myth, and the grounds based on to declare the Tanzanian singer Illuminati always range from the ridiculous to the ludicrous to the comic to the spooky.

The latest reason people have been yet again declaring Diamond Illuminati is the Tanzanian singer’s recent meeting up with American stars rumoured to be Illuminati and taking pictures with them.

Last week, while visiting the US, Diamond met up and took pictures with rapper Kanye West, as well as Empire series star Bryshere Yashawn Gray (who plays Hakeem Lyon on the popular Holywood production). And from the moment images of Diamond with the American stars hit cyber space, rumours have made the rounds afresh that the Tanzanian singer is Illuminati --the images being pointed to as evidence.

It hasn’t helped matters that in some of the images Diamond was wearing clothes emblazoned with symbols alleged to belong to Illuminati, while in the image with Hakeem the American also made a hand sign alleged to be an Illuminati code.

killin' it again: sa's patty monroe, bebe to record new duet B

ebe Cool might be dealing with threats by fans to boycott his concerts, but his troubles at home have not diminished his international appeal one bit. After his duet with celebrated South African female rapper Party Monroe turned out an instant hit, we have it on good authority that Bebe and Monroe are working on another collabo that will be out at the end of June. When we asked for more details about this latest project, Bebe insisted he was not about to serve unready products from the kitchen.

Gossip

Funnyman Dolibondo changes venue for his Jinja Camp Comedy Comedian Felix Jesero aka Dolibondo will be using a new venue for his annual Camp Comedy show slated for Good Friday. On Monday, the comedian announced a change of venue for the camp comedy show that is slated to take place in Jinja, from Nile Discoveries to Forever Resort- formerly Baraza.

Asked why he switched venues just two weeks to the event, Dolibondo told us that the earlier venue had conditions that were not suitable for both his sponsors and his fans. And speaking of sponsorship, Dolibondo recently landed a juicy sponsorship deal from the Kololo-based tours and travel agency Pearl of Africa Safaris- to the tune of $10,000 (Shs34m).

Singer Khalifa Aganaga sets date for second concert They say it doesn’t matter how many times you fall, what matters is that you always get up, dust yourself and try again. Singer Khalifa Aganaga is a living example of this philosophy. He might have had a tough debut album launch concert last year, but clearly Aganaga has moved on. The singer recently announced that he will be holding another concert this May. Aganaga recently dropped his fourth studio album which he will be officially launching at a VVIP concert scheduled for May 26 at Theatre Labonita. The concert is dubbed Kazindalo 4x4! and Aganaga’s manager Emma Carlos told us celebrated actor and comedian Abbey Mukibi will host the VVIP show. Thereafter, Aganaga will embark on a tour that will see him hold concerts under the same theme at Afro Club, Kasangati on Friday May 27 followed by another gig at Satellite Beach Mukono on Saturday May 28, before winding up with a beach show at Bobi Wine’s One Love Beach on Sunday May 29.

12 MATOOKE REPUBLIC / Thursday March 17-23 2016

Camera

Glamour I Red Carpet I Stars

AFRICA MEETS

N A P A J It was a silent disco affair as Talent Africa, an all-round entertainment company launched their new premises that also double as Yujo Japanese Restaurant in Kololo. As usual Kampala’s party animals didn’t miss in the mix, but it was a good cosmopolitan multi-racial crowd, with almost all continents represented.

We dem boyz: Radio City’s Mckenzie, Flames’ Gareth Onyango, Toniks and DJ Apeman.

Coupled Up: Serious with the silent disco.

FOOD & SHOWBIZ

shion Smiley Faces: Fa koma Lu n collector Helle edan.

De y’s Cit o di and Ra

Beside every successful man: Man of the hour Aly Alibhai and his fiancée Sylvia Namutebi.

Brotherhood: Yap, colour is just skin deep.

Guess who is in the building: Rabadaba and Atlas just chilling.

Bringing a taste of Japan: The man behind Yujo Japanese Restuarant.

Muzungu Republic: You would think we were in Europe not Matooke Republic

Time to play: Roofings boss Oliver Lalani took some time off his tight schedule.

It don’t matter if yo black or white: As long as you wear a nose pin...

NBS Always: Though we are sure they didn’t cover this one live.

From the Far East: They represented, after all the cuisine was oriental.

Wednesday March 9-15 2016, MATOOKE REPUBLIC 13

Music I Going Out

TALKING MUSIC

Showbiz

KENZO LEAKED

O B A L L O C A D N LI

Amakula International Film Festival Venue: Uganda Museum.

When: March 16-20.

What: Daily drive-in cinema experience, screening of movies.

Tax: Shs50,000 for full festival pass.

With the way Chris Evans and Rema Namakula have so ridden on Linda over the last few months, we’ve certainly had many questions lingering in our minds about it. So when we got the chance to have the two singers talk about the song... here we go.

Conceiving the idea of the song Releasing the song Chris Evans: I wrote the song with the idea that Chris Evans and Rema: We had planned to a female singer I won’t mention would record it. release the song at the start of this year. But on However, when I took it to her she didn’t like it. I his studio rounds Eddy Kenzo happened to land on contemplated singing it myself, but then I had writit and got carried away with it. Before we knew he ten it for a female character and it wouldn’t fit a had distributed it to the DJs and it was playing man. As I looked around for an alternative female all over. singer to pitch it to, I remembered that we share a manager with Rema and that she is a good friend.

Evaluating the track I took it to her, with a twist that I would also be part Chris Evans: I think it is one of the best of it, and she liked it. songs I have ever done. The message is Rema: Chris brought me the song and asked if great, we put in effort to make the vocals we could do it together, and I immediately liked and arrangement tick... I would rate it it. I also haven’t done many collaborations, which as number three of my best ever songs, made really eager to pick up this chance to behind only Ndikusasulaki and do a promising one with a very gifted Mulungi.

OUR singer. The rumours that I sang it for Rema: It’s hard to VERDICT Kenzo are a lie, because the song really rate one’s Everything has been was never my idea at all and all work, but I will said about the greatness I did was sing what Chris had say it is a very of this track, so we shall only conceptualised and written. good song reiterate that it is a delectable indeed. I like piece of art. From the lyrics, to Hitting studio its message, the way the singers deliver those Rema: When Chris brought especially lyrics to convey their feeling, to the song I was a new mother because it the chemistry the singers and didn’t have a lot of desire can apply manage to forge, tick, to be back to studio - you know to almost tick. the tight and tiring schedule of a everyone in a new mother, breast-feeding and all. relationship.

Yet still I told Chris to go ahead and make arrangements for us to record it. And when we got The rewards the song has served to Paddyman’s Audio One studio, the producer was Chris Evans: The song has done me so excited about the song and liked it even more so much good. I had taken sometime without doing a song that turns out a than us. It’s when I began thinking it could really monster hit, and this one did it for me. be something. I recorded my part in one session I even named my most recent and and returned to my new mother’s role, leaving the very successful concert Linda-Nantale rest to the producer and Chris. because Linda was my most popular Chris Evans: Recording the song was really a tough ride for me. As I had written the song for a of the period, and it really made the woman, there was a lot of work to fit myself into concert a success. There is also the fact that it enabled me cross over to the picture. For about two months I would go back the type of music fan who listens to to studio almost every week to work on the song Rema - that fan who previously had --perfect my part, re-organise, harmonise.

never approved me because maybe they felt my style wasn’t cool.

Rema: The song came at a time when I didn’t really have much fresh music because I was busy with my responsibilites as a new mother, with Lean On Me expiring at the time.

So it really enabled me to keep trending, and it was of a very good quality too. I have also already said that it enabled me to add another duet to my body of work.

Individually performing the track Chris Evans: It hasn’t been hard performing the song when Rema isn’t around.

Since ladies comprise the biggest chunk of my fanbase, they always flock the stage and offer to sing or mime Rema’s part, which makes everything easy.

Rema: I have also found it easy to sing the song in Chris’s absence. Since I’m all over the song, more than Chris, I’m able to quickly run over his part and get back to mine.

St. Patrick’s Day Venue: Bubbles Olearys When: Friday March 18.

What: St. Patrick’s Day; celebrating the Irish way.

A complementary dish + 3 free Guinness beers. Live band from Ireland...

Tax: Shs50,000.

Board Game Night Venue: Dancing CupPlot 15, Luthuli Avenue, Bugolobi When: March 17th What: A night of board games and/or card Games.

Tax: Shs 15,000- for a drink and all the game playing action or Shs35,000 for all the above and dinner.

14 MATOOKE REPUBLIC / Thursday March 17-23 2016

Fashion

Trends I Slaying I Killing It

D APART E P P I R Here is how to pull off the ripped look and not look like a homeless person

Abryanz is versatile

celeb style

I

am not the biggest fan of Kanye West, the designer, and I am yet to find a single piece in his two collections that I would be caught dead wearing! However, when it comes to his personal style, I believe he is the king of the ripped clothing trend.

Ripped clothing, whether it’s on jeans or a tee is always a sure way to make a statement. Not sure how to pull off this fashion frenzy?

For starters, try to keep it as minimal as possible. Having too much of ripped clothing may turn you from looking like a fashionista to more like a homeless person.

So try to keep the rips on at least one item in your look.

Also keep in mind that ripped clothing may not be ideal for certain settings like your office work place or to a meeting.

And if you are the kind that isn’t good with risk-taking when it comes to fashion, stick to the ripped jeans. These are safe and very easy to pull off.

How would you describe your style?

I wouldn’t zero it down to a particular description. I am a very adventurous guy when it comes to fashion. I like making bold statements, whether it’s with my hair, or my shoes, or even my accessories.

What is your worst wardrobe buy ever?

I wouldn’t zero down on anything. I am a prompt buyer, and when I purchase anything, I am already in love with it.

street style

What styling trick works for you all the time?

I let my imagination go as far as it can get, when it comes to choosing what to wear. I am always looking to be the best dressed when I step out. So I am going to come up with the wildest of ideas. My hair is proof of that.

Not a fan of ...

Chains! Anything blingy is just not my style.

Colour block: We were beginning to forget how great the blue and red colour block looks.

Can’t do without

As if in winter: Clearly Leilah knows nothing of your kasana woes. That fux fur clad jacket is testament to that.

Shoes! I never have enough of those. I am always buying a new pair all the time.

Killing it: We are glued to Gravity Omutujju’s style.

Thursday March 17-23 2016, MATOOKE REPUBLIC 15

Study I Chillax I Live It

Support from former Guild aspirant Namulindwa Stella

by lyn tukei

B

azil Mwotta emerged victor in the recently concluded Guild presidential elections at Makerere University and here is why he emerged winner.

Creative chart-like posters During the start of his campaigns, Mwotta’s posters were uncommon, all you could see were manilla papers written on “MWOTTA.” This kept on intriguing students as they kept on asking each other who this rare creature could be. The intrigue led them to voting for him.

Choice of Programs are Market driven Self-Employment Programs Employment-Oriented Programs Research Excellence Top Class Facilities

Market Driven Lecturers Creating Scholars

Victoria Towers, Plot 1 - 13 Jinja Road, Kampala, Tel: +256 417 727 000 or +256 759 996 146 / 130, admissions@vu.ac.ug

In all the rallies, it was evident that Mwotta captured the ladies. Even the holders of the charts were shockingly female.

This earned Bazil attention, which translated into votes.

Political background Mwotta’s leadership has been tested before as he was the Guild Representative Councillor (GRC) at school of Education.

Funds It is never easy to contest in a Guild presidential race in Makerere University and emerge victorious without spending heavily. Mwotta had to satisfy the “hard to please” Makererians with no logistics. Right from the early stages, Mwotta had to form convoys in order to accommodate his voters and hence his win.

Investing in the culture box

International Foundation Program Undergraduate Programs

Faculty of Health Sciences Bachelor of Science in Public Health (BScPH) - Full Time: 3 years; Bachelor of Environmental Health Sciences (BEHS) 3 years; Bachelor of Nursing Science (BNS) - 4 years; Bachelor of Midwifery Science (BMS) - 2 years; Bachelor of Science in Human Nutrition and Dietetics (BHND) - 4 years.

Faculty of Business and management Bachelor of Business Administration (BBA) - 3 years; Bachelor of Business Banking and Finance (BBF) - 3 years; Bachelor of Procurement and Logistics (BPL) - 3 years; Bachelor of Tourism & Hotel Management (BTM) - 3 years; Diploma in Procurement and Logistics (Dip PL) - 2 years; Diploma in Tourism and Hospitality Management (Dip THM) - 2 years.

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The total number of valid votes were 12749 and invalid votes being 395.

In Makerere election campaigns, there is a culture that requires candidates to offer whatever amount of money they can to a special electoral committee box. The heavier the pocket, the higher the popularity. As rallies were being conducted in

Foundation for English/Non-English Speaking Students (1 year)

Bazil Mwotta - 4594 (36.3%) Ssemboga Roy - 4276 (33.6%) Nsubuga Umar - 463 (3.63%) Anomugisha Dick (FDC) - 380 (2.89%) Mandela Nkunda (NRM) - 495 (3.88%) Nviiri Sospeter - 62 (0.49%) Ssekidde Nicholas - 45 (0.35%) Ssenyonga Simon - 1142 (8.96%) Shafik Kalyango - 124 (0.97%) Kasozi Ismael - 456 (4.58%) Dennis kiyingi - 77 (0.60%) Luyinda Fred (Go Forward) - 275 (2.16%) Brian Nassala 451 (3.54%)

-campusbee. ug

IUIU Mbale guild race on The political storm is sweeping across all campuses, and IUIU nominated five students for the Guild President race on Monday. They are; Mugamba Shahali, Mohamud Abubakar, Mohammed Dahir, Muganza Ibrahim Ali and Jamaldin Katende.

Four ladies including Nankoole Halima, Nugera Sugida Kenyangi, Nasra Ali Mohamud and Asena Halima, all second year students at the Mbale-based institution, were nominated for the Lady Vice post.

However, they were yet to go through a vetting process by the strict Islamic institution by press time.

Faculty of Science and Technology Bachelor of Computer Science (BCS) - 3 years; Bachelor of Business in Information Systems (BBIS) - 3 years; Bachelor of Business Computing (BBC) - 3 years; Bachelor of Information Technology (BIT) -3 years; Diploma in Business Information Systems (Dip BIS) - 2 years; Diploma in Information Technology (Dip IT ) 2 years; Faculty of Humanities and Social Sciences Bachelor of Public Administration and Management (BPAM) - 3 years; Bachelor of Social Work and Social Administration (BSWSA) - 3 years; Bachelor of Journalism and Media Studies (BJMS) - 3 years; Bachelor of Human Resource Management (BHRM) - 3 years; Bachelor of International Relations and Diplomatic Studies (BIRDS) - 3 years; Diploma in Social Work and Social Administration (Dip SWSA) 2 years; Diploma in International Relations and Diplomatic Studies (Dip IRDS) 2 years.

Department of Petroleum and Energy Studies Bachelor of Science in Oil & Gas Accounting (BScOGA) - 3 years.

victoria university kampala uganda

+256 700 3000 88

@vukampala

NT GET S A FR DE EE TU

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Culture of Entrepreneurship

Publicity dominated by females

The DP-affiliated former guild aspirant, who happened to be the only female in the 2015/ 2016 Guild presidential race, was as well behind Mwotta’s win. She offered herself as a mentor boosting his support.

the various halls with in the university, Mwotta always had something heavy to deposit which indeed earned him popularity.

OP PT LA

Dedicated Staff Support

Matooke Republic’s crush this week is Miss University Uganda, Lillian Ruzindana. She is also Miss Makerere University and she was the first runner-up in the Miss Tourism Western region edition. Ruzindana is also a model.

MUK GUILD RACE

Mwotta who is pursuing a Bachelor of Arts in Education Studies polled close to 2,000 votes in his favour from his course mates and college alone.

Location, Convenience & Accessibility

#MR CRUSH

N O W A T T O W M Y WH

Support from School of Educ

TEN (10) REASONS TO JOIN VICTORIA UNIVERSITY

are through with the exam period.

According to the communications officer of the challenge, Mr George W. Sonko, it is up to the unversities to select three participants who will represent. They don’t necessarily have to be economics students.

Those who don’t make the cut are free to participate in the mini challenge on Facebook.

ms

pp

ly

OUR INTAKES: JAN - FEB AUG - SEPT

Bank of Uganda officials held a debrief session at Victoria University in Kampala.

In this year’s challenge, university students from over 30 accredited and licensed higher institutions of learning will participate in games, quizzes and debates.

The challenge training is set to begin in April and the real shooting of the challenge between JuneJuly when all campuses

S

The Bank of Uganda Challenge, an infotainment programme that aims to inculcate financial literacy among young people will this year feature university students.

The challenge that used to be held among secondary school students since its inception in 2014 is currently interesting university students to take part when it starts in April. Last week

EAC H

BOU Challenge debrief at VU

Campus Buzz

& Co

n d iti o n

sA

“An Accredited Victoria University Partner”

t Internship Oppportunities t Free Laptop ( T&C’s apply) t Job Placement Opportunities

16 MATOOKE REPUBLIC / Thursday March 17-23 2016

Body & Soul

Living I Relating

HEALTH

Farting: All about the stinky situation E

verybody farts. We fart at home, we fart at work, when we know it’s a stinker, we fart with a smirk (that rhymed!). But how much do you really know about those mysterious smelly toots of yours? What IS a fart?

We’ve got answers. Disgusting, delicious, smelly answers. The word “fart” may be considered vulgar but it’s actually derived from an Old English word “feortan,” which means “to break wind.”

health - possibly cause anything

The average human being farts 14 times a day.

The tighter the anus, the louder

You fart enough every day to fill a medium-sized balloon.

The foods that get you farting the most include broccoli, cauliflower, kale, eggs, red meat, dairy products, garlic and foods high in yeast. Beans are notorious for producing flatulence, but they don’t tend to generate that sulfurous stink that repels discriminating nostrils.

The average speed of a fart entering the world is about 10 feet per second or about 9.5 km/hr.

The rancid rotten egg smell comes from a gas called hydrogen sulphide which makes up for all but 1% of a fart.

Women’s farts smell worse than men’s farts. Higher hydrogen sulphide content, yo!

But your own farts will never smell as bad to you as someone else’s. It is scientifically proven that one becomes habituated to the stinks and odours one’s own body generates.

Yes, disgusting people, it absolutely is possible to light a fart on

fire.

Farting was as commonplace among the ancients as it is among our extended family. Roman Emperor Claudius declared that “all Roman citizens should be allowed to pass gas whenever necessary,” which is an ancient variant of the modern maxim, “Wherever you be, let the wind blow free.” The ancient Japanese were said to have held “farting contests” to see who could break wind the loudest and longest. The Greek physician Hippocrates decreed that “Passing gas is necessary to well-being.”

Farting is a fetish. The official term for such supreme sexual arousal by flatulence is eproctophilia .

from headaches to haemorrhoids or a distended bowel. But in most cases, farts held in just make their way out when you sleep.

In fact, inhaling farts can be healthy.

Research proves that sniffing small amounts of hydrogen sulphide can reverse mitochondrial damage and help avert strokes, dementia, cancer, and heart attacks.

the fart. Yep, it’s true. Tight-ass has a whole new meaning.

For up to three hours after death and before rigor mortis sets in, dead human bodies have

been known to continue burping and farting.

The Yanomami tribe in South America greet one another with a loud, friendly blast of anal gas.

No kidding!

Dogs love the smell of farts. Man’s best friends, they adore the aroma of flatulence and that is pretty much the reason they often poke their snout in your ass to get a whiff.

Fart-filtering clothing is a fullfledged industry with several companies such as Shreddies manufacturing underwear and other garments that are designed to trap bad smells.

If that doesn’t work, science brings you pills that’ll actually make your farts smell like chocolate or, better yet, roses. There are in fact also a host of natural remedies that are proven to diminish the assault of flatulence, including peppermint, ginger, yogurt and cardamom.

The animal kingdom is a huge fartfest too. Termites, for one, are the biggest farters on planet Earth. Some beetles, namely the female Southern Pine Beetles fart to attract mates. Herring actually communicate underwater by farting.

There are at least 60 apps for the iPhone that recreate farting noises. Yes, humans continue to regress even as technology progresses.

M L O H STOCK SYNDROME When you sympathise with your batterer

T

he most frequently asked question concerning a battering situation is, why does the victim stay? Some even sympathise with their batterer, in a situation that has come to be known as the Stockholm Syndrome. Below are major reasons why women stay with their batterers.

Blinded by love: In some cases, the victim loves the batterer and decides to brave his battering sessions.

Fear: The victim fears the batterer, believing the batterer to be almost “godlike.” Often threats are made against the victim, for example, the batterer will kill the victim if the beatings are reported to anyone. Police, in the victim’s eyes, offer no long-term.

figures to be in good relationships, so to keep the “dignity” that comes with being a married woman, they stay with the batterer. Religious and cultural beliefs also keep women in relationships with batterers, till death do them part.

For the sake of the children: Often the victims stay in relationships for the sake of the children “needing a father”. Sometimes the batterer frequently threatens to take the children away from the victim if the victim leaves, and the victim believes the batterer.

No trust in the law: Many battered women don’t have trust in the law and police when it comes to reporting battering cases.

Unlocking the matters of the heart

The batterer could bribe police and mete out a bigger punishment, so they choose to suffer silently, hoping that the battering will one day stop.

Thinking they deserve the beating: Sometimes the victim may rationalise the beatings, believing that they must have “deserved” the “punishment” because they probably did something “wrong.”

Blaming the alcohol: Some batterers only beat their women under the influence of alcohol. Such women blame the actions on the alcohol not the man, “after all he is sweet when sober.” They believe it is an alcohol problem, which they can help their partners overcome.

Apologetic batterers: Some batterers become quite gentle, apologetic, loving, and may promise never to beat the victim again, only that this goes on and on.

Money matters: The victim may be economically dependent on the batterer and, not having a marketable job skill, the victim has no realistic alternative to the batterer’s financial support.

Status in society: Society expects people, especially public

relate

Case closed: Singer Leilah recently reported a case of assault against lover SK Mbuga, but made a u-turn and asked court not to charge him and the case was dismissed.

From a battering family: The victim may have lived in a home in which one parent beat the other and/or the children and sees violence as an inevitable part of the way in which couples relate.

-Jane Nkalubo

a problem shared...

He ignores conjugal duties I have been married to my husband for five years. But for the last one year, he does not want to have sex as much as I want to, in fact he almost never wants do it anymore. Every night he has an excuse: “I’m tired, I have work to do, I just don’t feel like it anymore, we’re fighting too much, etc, etc.” Yet I am sure that he’s not cheating on me, because he now works really long hours and only rotates between home and office. The problem really began when we had an incident with his family three years ago, and he didn’t stand up for me. Since then, our sex life began deteriorating slowly, till today when it’s grown very big. Now, I’m fine with his family, but our sex life has refused to improve. When I try to talk to him, he either falls asleep right in front of me, or blocks me out, or he says he doesn’t wanna talk or he just becomes a wall, and ignores me. I tried everything, I don’t know what to do anymore.

Rhoda, Kireka Holding in farts can be bad for your I would advise you to go with him and see a counsellor. There might be a problem with your communication,

or he is just tired of you, or something else that a professional counsellor will be able to figure out.

Aisha, Ntinda What if he got a biological dysfunction that made him suddenly unable to perform in bed, yet he doesn’t want you to know it? Because, really, what biologically normal man would choose to go long periods without hitting it when it is there? Unless he is cheating on you, he has a biological problem in his capital city.

Aida, Makerere I think you became monotonous and boring to him.

You must have made him start to find it drudging being with you. You need to recreate the experience you give him. Begin to adventure to new twists and tricks in bed, begin to dress more attractively, to smell excitingly different... You will give him a reason to always be hungry for you again.

-Jamo Kansanga

Thursday March 17-23 2016, MATOOKE REPUBLIC 17

18

Kids I Mums I Dads

Parenting

barbie kyagulanyi PARENT TO PARENT

mama sandy

E D A R T T ' N D L U I WO TIME WITH THE KIDS FOR ANYTHING Never too We are always too busy chasing

And then came Karyn White, with her medleys, leaving a lasting impression at the eight edition of Nile Gold Jazz Safari. The band was awesome and on point and so for her vocalists who were so smooth.

Kampala Serena Hotel could not hold back. She sang, danced and connected well with her audience. Revelers warmed up to the old skool American singer for her good performance, of sultry funk and rhythm and blues. She was inviting. Two Ugandan dudes did not shy from an opportunity to make the international star feel some cozy intimacy as they joined her hug, and extended it into a tight squeeze. They invited her to sit on their laps and as they did all this, she got a little carried away in the moment.

She was inviting. Two Ugandan dudes did not shy from an opportunity to make the international star feel some cozy intimacy as they joined her hug, and extended it into a tight squeeze.

They invited her to sit on their laps and as they did all this, she got a little in the moment. he carried recentlyaway concluded holiday was one to remem-

early to interest them in saving

money for the kids, but they also need our time

T

G

rowing up, I saw my dad and mum go to work and return home together. We had evening tea and dinner as a family. Sitting at a round dining table we listened to the news on Radio Uganda and each child was required to give a summary of what they had heard in the news.

Sometimes we had to go through a pile of newspaper pullouts dad carried home; to choose topics to read to the family after evening tea. Day after day this activity became a culture. I realised in my teens that my interest in English literature and story composition was influenced by the reading and storytelling culture we had at home.

Fast forward to today and we barely look at our children’s homework. We are too tired to help them solve Maths equations.

We don’t even know what their handwriting is like. We don’t bathe their little bodies or brush their teeth anymore. Talking of losing motherly duties to nannies, when I visited my friend Susan last Sunday, I realised her children call her Auntie Jalia (the nanny’s name). When they fought over the remote the young one came to the mother crying “Auntie Jalia, Auntie Jalia…” and at this point the mother had to correct her: “I am not Jalia, I am your mother!” Wow! We keep complaining about simple things. “My children chew food with their mouths open. My daughter sits with both legs apart. My son confides in our neighbour’s husband. I did not know my baby had squinted eyes!”

We are too busy chasing the money and in the process the opportunity cost becomes the family. We work extra hours, do more than one job to earn that extra coin and our children and families become a by the way. By all means spend time on social

ber. I had never felt my pockets swept clean like I did these past three months of holiday. No wonder I was swiftly beaten out of my comfort zone and straight into real hustle. Catch me sleeping at 5am?

Are you kidding me? I have to get my pancakes and chapatti swimming in heated cooking oil and ready for delivery to my customers who are outside my gate by 7am. The catchword is HUSTLE. And you will be amazed how this hustle thing has spread to everyone in the house.

The other day I watched proudly as my children strategised on how to get money, where to keep it and how the spending is for mummy. Their piggybank might have just a few coins at the moment but trust me come January next year it will be too stuffed to even cough.

Which got me thinking; sometimes we claim they are too young to start saving but do you realise teaching them to save might help them to appreciate money and motivate them to work hard to earn it. It can never be too early to interest them in saving.

- Musimentas@ gmail.com

media catching up with friends, but it is important that you divide your time and accommodate everybody that has meaning to your lives, especially your kids.

It’s fine to flock bars and watch your favourite football team play, but remember to teach your son what you learned from your own father or support them in their own talents. Read your daughters bedtime stories. Let them go to bed when you are already home (sometimes) only then will they feel secure in the night. Children believe their dads are their heroes and that they are the stron-

gest person they have ever seen! Will you please prove this by just being there when they have fears to overcome?

If we trade our time for money we risk raising families where there’s no bonding, no memories, nothing learned from each other, no family values taught or learned and we might be wasting a great opportunity to make friends with our children. Celebrate birthdays if you can.

Go hard and discipline them if you have to. Family time is an expensive commodity in this age but it’s not something I would trade for anything.

Happy b-day

Happy birthday to these lil munchkins of mine. Maya turns 6 years today (15th March) while lil Honourable turns 1 tomorrow (16th March)!

Don’t ask me how .

Val Okecho

Safe and sound

Our beautiful Princess Juliana Bamanyisa was rescued from Kawempe. She is safe and sound. Thanks all for your prayers and kind thoughts. Glory to God Mcy Tim Agb

Share with us your joys and challenges of parenting. E-mail info@ matookerepublic.com

18 MATOOKE REPUBLIC / Thursday March 17- 23 2016

Business

Money I Trade I Executives

FOREX RATES Currency USD GBP EUR KSH JPY

Buying 3,300 4,600 3,660 31 27

Selling 3,410 4,825 3,790 34 31

Whether on a work assignment or personal business, travel is very much part of many people’s work. It could be abroad or upcrountry. Here are the Apps to easen the experience

BY EVELYN MASABA

2

016 is not the year to slacken, it is the year to go and explore the world. It does not have to be all over the world, but your immediate environment. There are several apps that have been developed to make travel planning easy for you.

briefing

Level of incompetence “For a business, if you realise that you the entrepreneur can’t handle all the inquiries, can’t take out two tours at the same time, be the office messenger at the same time CEO, then you have reached your level of incompetence and that is when you start bringing other people on board.

The people you bring on board will most likely reach their level of incompetence as well and when that happens, don’t use emotion, please let them move on. ” Amos Wekesa, CEO at Great Lakes Safaris

Essential TRAVELLING APPS

Flight Planning Apps These apps help you book flights easily and know which aviation companies available in your location have promotions running and they show you flight plans, routines, luggage weight, stopover among others. Apps include; TripAdvisor Flights, FlightGear Free, CoPilot Aviation Flight Planning, Aviation tools, QRouting and many more.

Picture and Videos When on the go and trying to share the amazing scenery or happenings where you are, you need Apps that help you edit images and send them easily to the people you care about upload on your social networks. You will need Snapseed (high editing), Periscope (videos), Snapchat (Short videos and imagery) among others to document your journey.

Food and Dining Who doesn’t want to try out new things like tasty

cuisines in different country? Every country you travel to will have several different dishes unique to that location and it would not be a worthwhile trip if you didn’t try them on your journey. Use Apps such as; Zamato Restaurant Finder, Restaurant Finder, Bondi Group Restaurant Finder etc. When you want to dine in; try Hellofood for Uganda.

Mapping and Location Starting with your basic Google Maps, Tripomatic and LiveTrekker will help you make travelling in unfamiliar territory more easier for you to map out and not get lost.

Translation Apps There are times you need to talk to the people in your new location but the language barrier becomes a stress factor. Try Google Translate, Bravolol, Duolingo apps that will help you navigate through language anywhere you go.

Hotel and Lodgings You do not have to wait upon reaching your destination to get a hotel or lodgings, there a several Apps such as Jovago and TripAdviser that help you get lodgings without moving an inch, all you have to is; type in your destination and several hotels within the area will pop up and you will find them ranging from 5 Star plus below. The best part is, you don’t even have to worry about overbooking or other amenities because people rate the hotels.

Africell’s Commercial Director, Milad Khairallah.

Africell’s Shs500 voice bundle hits the market Africell on Wednesday launched a new voice bundle, the O’fwono Tooti bundle, which is now the lowest and most affordable bundle offer on any telecom network in Uganda. For this one, atShs500, Africell customers can now get 30 voice minutes charged per second to be used in a period of one hour.

The Ofwono Tooti bundle further strengthens Africell’s position as one of the telecom companies with the cheapest offers on the market, as it adds to the the King of the Bundles offer which the company unleashed last year.

Milad Khairallah, Africell’s Chief Commercial Officer, said the telecom company has strongly put emphasis on the need for affordable call rates to enhance easy communication and facilitate faster business transactions, especially for the growing number of SME’s that run then Ugandan economy.

- Edward Kalema

STRIVE MASIYIWA

If you plan to get to the top, you must read

W

“

“You must buy and own books.

You are not a reader if you prefer to only borrow books.”

hat is the most important skill you need?

If you want to be successful, you’ll need many specialised business skills, but probably the most important one will surprise you: it’s the capacity to READ! Yes, READ! I’m sure you’ve heard the expression: “(Great) leaders are readers.”

You must have the capacity to read a lot, if you want to be successful. All the greatest leaders I’ve ever met, from any walk of life, had this in common: they liked to read books, journals, and articles.

On one of my travels, I met someone who asked me a simple question: “Where do you live?”

“I have a house in London and one in Johannesburg, but I spend most of my time in airports,” I replied.

“Where are your books?” she asked.

“In Johannesburg.”

“Ah, that is where you live, because books are your most prized possession.”

You must buy and own books. It must be a constant investment. You’re not a read-

er if you prefer only to borrow books. It means you’re not committed. If you have children, take them to bookshops. Buy or build them bookshelves. Encourage them to own and treasure books. Take them to libraries, galleries and museums.

For the African continent to grow and prosper, we must build a greater culture of reading in our young generations!

There’s not a moment to waste.

The pastor of a great church asked a young man, “Where is your Bible?”

“I can’t afford one, sir” the young man replied.

“Then sell your shoes!” the pastor replied.

This is the attitude you must build towards the ownership of all other books, too: “If you think books are too expensive then you have not yet realised their value to you, and your family.”

Reading is by far and away the thing I do most in my day: # I start my day by reading the Bible for at least an hour. I read it cover to cover at least once a year. # Before I go to work or start my day, I

delve through at least five newspapers that I subscribe to. # Then I read reports, mostly about what’s going on in our various businesses. I also read the latest developments in our industries. # I read emails (I don’t allow an email to go unanswered for more than 24 hours).

Generally, I read every email that gets into my inbox. This is why I don’t like all sorts of emails to clutter my box. I manage emails very strictly because if I don’t, I’ll lose control of my agenda. # Throughout the day, I’m reading reports and responding to them. I can read very fast.

I hate rituals, but if you must have a ritual, this is it: Read every day to understand, reflect upon and follow what’s going on around you that affects you.

Remember what I’ve said before: things happening far across the world can seriously affect you, too!

In closing, the other day I went to see a play in New York about Alexander Hamilton, one of America’s founding fathers.

It was a remarkable musical production and worth all the rave reviews it’s getting.

I only had one problem: it was a musical performed in “rap” by a mostly young African-American cast; for a long time, I didn’t understand a thing they were saying! But I could still follow the story very well, because I’d read the book on which it was based more than 10 years earlier.

If I must see a movie, I need to read the book as well.

Someone who has a smartphone or tablet is reading (quantitatively) more than 100x what their peers read 20 years ago. Nevertheless, the key to reading capacity requires an interest in reading books, even those in electronic format.

Be smart, be wise; buy and read books.

If you’re planning to get to the top, one book a week should be your minimum target.

Strive Masiyiwais a London-based Zimbabwean businessman and philanthropist. He is the founder and chairman of international telecommunications group Econet

Thursday March 17-23 2016, MATOOKE REPUBLIC 19

Work I Innovation I Enterprise

Business

GROWING WEALTH

Kintu found his PASSION FAO recognises two Ugandans for promoting agriculture The Ugandan chapter of the Food and Agricultural organisation on Monday awarded two medals to two Ugandans in recognition of their efforts to promote agriculture and food safety.

Charles Ogwang, the president of the Uganda National Farmers’ Federation and chief organiser of the annual Agricultural Show in

Jinja, was honoured along with New Vision’s veteran journalist Joshua Kato, who for eons has edited the paper’s farming magazine called Harvest Money.

The two were handed their medals by FAO Country Director Al Haji Jallow at the FAO offices in Wandegeya.

- John Katongole

corporate images

Passion fruit changed Kintu’s fortunes.

BY PAUL ISABIRYE

A

Motivation: NIC Holdings staff cut a cake to celebrate the birthdays of those born in January, February and March.

MTN’s Ms. Isabella Odida poses for a photo with students of Bududa Secondary School after handing out re-usable sanitary towels to the school. These are to help reduce the number of girls dropping out of school owing to lack of these accessories.

sk 33-year-old Stephen Kintu if he is able to support himself and his family through passion fruit growing, and the resident of Kimbejja village in Sembabule district proudly tells you that he is not only comfortably supporting his family, but also trying to make some real wealth.

And his wife Ms Jackline Katushabe affirms that indeed, right now they are able to meet all the basic requirements they need to survive as a family, take their children to school and generally live happily.

But it hasn’t always been like this for Kintu, who readily tells of how his life was difficult before he discovered and picked up passion fruit growing just over two years ago.

Despair before passion fruit Kintu says that before he began growing passion fruit, his life was miserable courtesy of hard-biting poverty. He says at that time he didn’t really specialise in any one crop, but kept jumping from this to that every season, consequently suffering poor yields and never having enough to support him and his family.

“I had lost hope and decided to let life drift me to whatever cruel fate it wanted,” the farmer says. “I was living hand-to-mouth, but even in that situation I didn’t always find what to transfer from the hand to the mouth.”

Discovering the passion fruit gold mine In December 2013, Kintu got an opportunity to attend a passion fruit-growing workshop organised in his sub-county by the Ugandan chapter of the Food and Agricultural organisation (FAO) together with its implementing partner the Lutheran World Federation (LWF).

FAO and LWF had earlier mobilised a total of 40 farmers from Kintu’s village (Kintu inclusive) into a farmers’ group that also served as a savings group, and the two organisations had taught the group such things as early planting practises, weekly record keeping, savings as well as modern adronomic practises.

Kintu says that at the twoweek-long workshop, he participated in a number of study visits to the orchards of succesful, large-scale passion fruit growers, and he reckons the greatest lesson he got was on how to start a passion fruit orchard on a large scale.

Starting Out Returning home with the conviction that he had discovered a golden key, Kintu approached the Village Savings Team where he was a member and managed to borrow Shs200,000 for starting his own orchard on a one-acre piece of land which he rented.

“

“I borrowed Shs200,000 from our local savings group and my first harvest yielded fruits worth Shs2m.”

And from his first harvest Kintu yielded Shs2m, which excited him and gave him the encouragement to aim at operating at an even bigger piece of land. He used some of his earnings to rent a bigger plot of land, ultimately buying his own three-acre piece. His plan is to soon be operating on 10 acres.

“I went on learning more secrets of passion fruit growing as time went on,” Kintu says. “It doesn’t take a long time to learn the basics and then start acquiring expert knowledge.”

Famous farmer, trainer of colleagues Today Kintu is not only thriving as a passion fruit farmer, he has actually made himself a name throughout out his sub-county of Lwebitakuli, the entire Sembabule district and even as far as Masaka and Kampala. He goes around with organisations training farmers in practical passion fruit growing skills, and hosts study trips and exchanges where visitors pay him some additional income. He also sells passion fruit seedlings and has also used some earnings from passion fruit to venture into poultry.

20 MATOOKE REPUBLIC / Wednesday March 9- 15 2016

Working

Careers I Jobs I Networks

career guide

When your boss is a workaholic it’s time to talk or bolt

Y

ou’ve probably had one (or have one): that workaholic boss who expects you to emulate him/ her. This might mean working ridiculous hours, lunch at your desk (or skipping it altogether), and even sacrificing your weekends.

The negative impact of such a manager is pervasive, and having to report to a person like this can be detrimental to both your career and home life.

Studies consistently link a lack of support for work-life balance by managers to more on-the-job mistakes. What’s more, a bad boss may literally be making you sick: one study found that 77% of employees experienced physical symptoms as a result of poor relationships with their bosses.

The added pressure may not only have you considering jumping ship at your current job, but may follow you home, leaving you on edge long after you leave the office. If you find yourself answering to a workaholic, you may be heading for burnout. And if you don’t crash, then you’re probably riddled with anxiety that if you fail to measure up to your boss’ impossible standards, you’ll be shown the door.

It’s important to take action, even if you feel intimidated or fearful of his/her response. For starters, if your goal is to get your boss to understand that you value your life outside the office, you should not, under

any circumstances, enable his/ her workaholism. Career author Melody Wilding advises that one should by all means avoid giving praise when a result is obviously due to overworking. If you know your boss stayed up all night creating a presentation, praising his sacrifice can be counter-productive. This reinforces that the behavior is not only acceptable, but it also suggests you are impressed with it and might be inclined to follow suit.

Communicate clearly Approaching a workaholic supervisor can be intimidating, but it is critical for the two of you to have open and productive communication. If you’re learning the job skills from a workaholic supervisor, the concern is that you are susceptible to falling into the same bad habits he/she possesses.

An honest conversation would help you set some basic rules of engagement. For instance, in regards to nightly emails, you could suggest a cut-off time after which, it becomes acceptable to respond the following morning.

If after repetitively discussing work-life boundaries with your supervisor and seeing no change in expectations, it may be time to do some soul searching—or job searching, for that matter.

- Internet

Age is not an issue IF YOU DELIVER RESULTS Zaninka Lyz Cynthia is a PR Executive at Brainchild Burson-Marsteller

W

hen did you join the employed ranks?

I first joined the employed ranks as a sales executive at Solution Errands in 2013. It was a short stint for a Jazz Safari Project and I was earning 500k per month. During that time, I was actually in my final year at university. When the project ended, I concentrated on my academics then joined to Fireworks Advertising in 2014, where I’d worked as an intern the previous year. I got offered a job as a trainee in the PR department until I was promoted to PR executive, a position I hold to date at the agency’s public relations arm- Brainchild BursonMarsteller.

What plans do you have for your future?

My work background is 90 per cent advertising/agency but I hope to join a corporate company at the appropriate time and eventually start my own consultancy.

Who do you look up to professionally?

After a training we had last year with Ms Robyn De Villiers, founder/ CEO of Burson-Marsteller Africa, I got a new role model. She is very well read, has a strong character and is brilliant. I admire her.

What motivates you in your work?

I am motivated by what my work can do and knowing that my input is what has propelled a given brand’s reputation, consumer base and sales.

What kind of challenges do you encounter?

In our industry, most people hold a person with a media industry background in higher regard than a person straight out of university. While I believe it is vital to have that background, I’ve always believed one can get that knowledge through relationship building with the media. For me to do that, I don’t necessarily have to have spent years working in a media house.

My second challenge has been the “age” element. Hahaha! I’ve met clients and employers who at first sight, believe I am too young for the job but again, that’s catered for when I deliver.

on the job

What books do you read?

I’m a fiction-thriller addict. So I’ll read anything within that line for as long as I feel it somehow connects back to real life.

Tell us about yourself...

I am 25 years old. Not searching and no children. I graduated from Uganda Christian University and I’m currently pursuing a diploma in CAM from the Chartered Institute of Marketing. I grew up with my mum, a very strong-willed, loving, honest and kind woman that I absolutely adore.

We lived in Luzira then Kyanja and now Najjera. My position in the family is unique. I’m the second born in a family of five. I’m followed by identical twins and a beautiful girl that I can’t help but brag about and I hope that I set the right example for them. I am a strong minded person, very sociable and treasure my inner circles (friends and family). I love to challenge myself and put life to the test so I’d say I live on the wild side of life.

“

“I believe one can acquire knowledge through relationship building.”

jobs Assistant business development manager

Organisation: Britam Requirements: Bachelor of commerce degree or equivalent. 5 years’ experience. Good advancement in CII Credits.

Deadline: March 18th Contacts: recruitments@britam. co.ug

Network Engineer

Organisation: UbuntuNet Requirements: a Degree in Electrical or electronics Engineering or equivalent. 6 years of experience Deadline: April 30th Contacts: info@renu.ac.ug

UCC Vacancies.

Head of Public and International Relations, Head Legal Affairs, Senior Officer (Gulu and Mbarara), Senior Recruitment and Rewards,

Contacts: pm@lunch4learning.org

Senior Officer systems.

For more information visit their website: www.ucc.co.ug Deadline: March 28th

Civil Aviation Safety and Security Oversight Agency vacancies

Marketing Manager

Senior Information Technology Officer, Deputy Executive Director.

Organisation. UMEME Requirements: A degree in B.Com, BBA marketing or equivalent.

Deadline: March 23rd Contacts: recruit.hr@umeme.co.ug

Administration Officer

Organization: giz Requirements: 3 years of experience Deadline: March 24th Contacts recruitment-uganda@giz. de

Fundraising Officer

Organization: Lunch4Learning Requirements: 2 years demonstrated experience in donations. Degree in a relevant field of study Deadline: March 25th

Age Requirements: Not above 55.

For more information visit their website www.eac.int Deadline: April 15th

Parts Warehouse supervisor and Parts Sales Supervisor

Organization: ENGSOL Requirements: Highly effective supervisory skills. Knowledge of warehouse software packages and MS office proficiency. Proven inventory management / supervisory experience.

Deadline: March 19th Contacts: admin@engsol.co.ug or P.O Box 25349 Kampala. Plot 7 spring Close off 5th street, industrial area, Kampala

Wednesday March 9-15 2016, MATOOKE REPUBLIC 21

Digs I Gardening I Improvement

Brokers are A NECESSARY EVIL

ON SALE 5 acres near Rosebud at Namulanda. Ideal for school or farm.

Call 0794 600060

While they are a pain in the wrong places, avoid them at your own peril

M

usa Kyewalabye, a property broker in Namungoona, acknowledges that very often brokers are a pain in the wrong part of the body. That there are several reasons why you might want to avoid brokers in your hunt for real estate.

“We endlessly ask for small amounts to take you around to check what’s available on the market, sometimes even when we know that has been taken,” Kyewalabye says, “And then sometimes we inflate the prices or the rent of property for our own benefit.”

But then Kyewalabye quickly adds that brokers are a necessary evil in the business of real estate everywhere across the world.

“Despite our faults, most times it is to your loss when you overlook us in your hunt for real estate,” the broker says. Then he ventures to give me two reasons why anyone looking for real estate to buy or rent shouldn’t overlook his colleagues.

“First and foremost, brokers save a prospective buyer a lot of time and legwork in the process of finding a good deal to seal,” Kyewalabye says. “Being that the we go around identifying whatever offer is on the market and gathering information about it, a prospective buyer or tenant who goes through us will not have to spend their time and

featured property

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Suitable for hostel. Serious buyers only.

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energies going around scouring for what’s on the market. The buyer will find it all gathered in one place and will simply make their choice.

Kyewalabye adds that a prospective buyer or tenant who goes through a broker often has the luxury of making a choice from a wide array of alternatives. “Since finding out what’s available on the market and marketing it is the broker’s full-time job, we often know of every offer that’s available in their vicinage, and this wide knowledge is what a person going through us gets to tap.”

“There is also the fact that sometimes we brokers have special access to the original owners selling or letting property,” says broker Elijah Isabirye of Kireka.”Some owners work exclusively with certain brokers and rely on them to be the gatekeepers to bring them suitable clients, and as you may not be able to call them up directly you will miss out on the chance if you don’t go through the broker,” Isabirye adds.

“We brokers also often know the specific details of a property --the history, the genuineness of the sellers, the behaviours of landlords,” adds yet another broker, Hamza Mukasa of Ntinda.

“You might overlook us and sign up with a cannibal landlord when we would have warned you beforehand.”

Hardware City

Landscaping

Compound designer for exquisite landscaping and gardening. Call 0777913860

advertise here. call 0392 000124

landscaping 101

Going for straight or curved lines?

BY ANNET NASSOLO & JOSEPHINE NASSIWA

H

H

ardware City along Entebbe Road is a one-stop shopping centre for hardware in the whole of East Africa, from the largest of vendors to the one starting out the hardware business.

It has parking space for over 105 cars, apartments on the upper levels and shops of all sizes. It has eight levels with two at the ground level access as well as 66 apartments ranging in size from one to three bedrooms that come with a fitted kitchen, hot water supply and a beautiful view from the city centre of the capital city.

It also has 287 shops up for retail and office space. The building is also fitted with access for disabled individuals as well as the latest safety standards.

Hardware City has access from three main (Entebbe Road, Sinai Bin Amir Street and Market Street) roads that traders use for buying and transporting goods around Kampala and Uganda as a whole.

Hardware City is one of the several properties owned and managed by Crane Management Services (CMS) a leading real estate company that is a subsidiary of the Ruparelia Group of Companies.

Property

ave you ever walked into a breathtaking compound, say of a home or a hotel and could not help but wonder how the designer pulled off. Well we are here to help you with some DIY (do it yourself) tips on how to design your compound from scratch. Today we bring you one of the four elements of landscaping.

Element number one is lines. Lines trigger emotional and physical response to your landscape. Lines can are used for example when making a foot path or when making a boundary between the grass, paved area or a flower bed. Whereas straight lines create a formal compound, curved lines create a natural informal feel in the compound.

We advise that straight lines be used for more formal spaces like office compounds and curved lines be used for home compounds.

“

Straight lines are for more formal settings.

22 MATOOKE REPUBLIC / Thursday March -  

Sport

Play I Watch I Support

������� ���� � � 

Wednesday (March , ) EUROPE: Champions League 20:00

Barcelona-Arsenal

1 & Over 2.5

22:45

Bayern Munich-Juventus

Over 2,5 1

d e i f e d t a h t Athletes disease to play again Uganda’s goalkeeper Abel Dhaira was diagnosed with cancer, but we hope he pulls through like Kanu and others who had life-threatening ailments �� ������ ������

�

21:00

Bayer Leverkusen - Villarreal

Over 2.5

21:00

Lazio- Sparta Prague

1X

21:00

Valencia - Ath Bilbao

Over 2.5

21:00

Anderlecht – Shakhtar

X2

23:05

Braga- Fenerbahce

GG

23:05

Manchester United- Liverpool

1X

23:05

Sevilla – Basel

1

he cloud hanging over the sports fraternity in Uganda last week was a particularly dark shade of grey after the news came in that Cranes goalkeeper Abel Dhaira had been diagnosed with cancer. The 28-year-old who is contracted to Icelandic side IBV Vestmannaeyjar had been reported to be in poor health over the last few months, but not many would have predicted the maverick shot-stopper’s affliction was a case of abdominal cancer. Matooke Republic dug up cases from around the sports world of athletes that heroically overcame one ailment or other to resume their careers and should provide hope for our own Dhaira.

23:05

Tottenham - Dortmund

Over 2.5

Nwankwo Kanu (Heart defect)

Thursday (March , ) EUROPE: Europa League - Play Offs

(March , ) Friday FRANCE: Ligue  01:30

Marseille - Rennes

GG

GERMANY: Bundesliga 22:30

Schalke - B. Monchengladbach

Over 2.5

NETHERLANDS: Eredivisie 22:30

Utrecht - Excelsior

Over 2.5

SPAIN: Primera Division 22:45

Getafe - Eibar

X2

March ,  (Saturday) ENGLAND: Premier League 15:45

Everton - Arsenal

Over 2.5

18:00

Chelsea - West Ham

GG

18:00

Crystal Palace - Leicester

X2

18:00

Watford - Stoke City

X

18:00

West Brom - Norwich

1

20:30

Swansea - Aston Villa

1

FRANCE: Ligue  19:00

St Etienne - Montpellier

Over 2.5

22:00

Angers - Lorient

1

22:00

Caen- Troyes

1

22:00

Lille - Toulouse

1x

22:00

Reims- Guingamp

Over 2.5

23:00

Lyon- Nantes

1

GERMANY: Bundesliga 17:30

FC Koln - Bayern Munich

Everything seemed to be going right for Nwankwo Kanu’s career in 1996. He had just joined Inter Milan from Ajax, and had captained Nigeria to Olympic gold.

Then a routine medical examination at Inter and Kanu had a serious heart defect. He underwent surgery in November 1996 and did not return to his club until April 1997. Yet he would go on to fashion an impressive career after, especially at Arsenal FC. Kanu’s experience inspired the founding of the Kanu Heart Foundation, to help predominantly young African children who suffer heart defects.

Lance Armstrong (Testicular cancer)

In October 1996, a 25 year old Lance Armstrong was diagnosed as having stage three (advanced) testicular cancer. The cancer had spread to his brain, lungs and abdomen. His doctor reportedly gave him no chance for survival, even after a medical procedure to remove the diseased testicle. Yet after a cocktail of medical interventions the American cycling great was declared cancer-free in February 1997 and would go on to dominate cycling, notwithstanding a doping controversy that would later tarnish his name.

Eric Abidal (Liver tumour)

On 15 March 2011, Barcelona announced that

Khalilou Fadiga (Heart defect)

Bolton Wanderers winger Khalilou Fadiga was taking part in a warm-up ahead of a game against Tottenham in October 2004 when he went down. His though was a unique case. Bolton were actually aware he had a heart defect when they signed him, but it wasn’t until after his collapse that the Senegalese star was fitted with a pacemaker (a small device that is placed in the chest or abdomen to help control abnormal heart rhythms). He carried on playing until he retired in 2011.

Jonas Gutiérrez (Testicular cancer)

Newcastle favourite Jonas Gutiérrez stung the football world with the revelation in a September 2014 interview that he was being treated for testicular cancer and had one final session of chemotherapy left. He had battled with his condition for a year, having even quietly undergone surgery to remove a cancerous testicle. Discharged from hospital in November 2014, the Argentine resumed playing in March 2015 and memorably tattooed the lyrics “I am alive again, more alive than I have been in my whole entire life” from Eminem’s “No Love” onto his arm.

Super Sunday (Complete ticket)

Super Saturday (Complete ticket ) 2

their French defender Eric Abidal had been diagnosed with a tumour in his liver, and the player underwent surgery two days later. He would go on to feature in games after that announcement, but less than a year later—in March 2012—it was revealed he required a liver transplant. Following an operation he was out of the game for more than a year, but the consummate winner Abidal is would have the last word in this battle and had resumed playing in April 2013.

19:00

Sfaxien - Sidi Bouzid

1

17:30

Wattens - Kitzbuhel

1

17:30

Hamburger SV - Hoffenheim

Over 2.5

17:30

Hertha Berlin - Ingolstadt

1

21:45

Zwolle - Willem II

1

17:30

Werder Bremen - Mainz

X2

17:30

FC Koln - Bayern Munich

2

20:30

Eintracht Frankfurt - Hannover

GG

18:00

West Brom - Norwich

1

18:00

Gijon - Atl. Madrid

2

19:30

Augsburg - Dortmund

2

18:30

BATE - Slutsk

1

05:00

Alajuelense

1

17:00

Torino - Juventus

2

18:00

Villarreal

2

04:00

Monterrey - Guadalajara Chivas

- Belen - Barcelona

Warning! Betting involves high psychological and financial risk. Matooke Republic will not take any responsibility for any loss or damage as a consequence of decisions based on information, betting tips or other links provided in this publication. You are warned to act exclusively at your own discretion and risk.

1

Thursday March - , MATOOKE REPUBLIC 23

Opinions I News I Trivia

 

�

n Saturday, like most of my weekends, I decided to catch a soccer game at a popular Kampala bar. Luckily for me, for the sake of the atmosphere, I was joined by over 30 other football fans.

As the tradition goes, at half time we all engaged in various football debates, most relating to the first half. I believe City should have taken the lead. Some disagreed. It’s fine.

Anyway that’s not the point. The point is why don’t we Ugandans have the same energy used to dissect the EPL when it to comes to the Uganda Premier League? The energy used by some of fans to explain their points was amazing.They know the entire squads, team numbers, players’ origin and some even know how many children each player has. Plus, the wife’s name. It’s amazing!

The Uganda Cranes finished fourth in the 1962 Africa Cup of Nations and did even better in 1978, only losing to Ghana in the final. Back home, thousands always made a date with the then Uganda Super League. Legends were made as Ugandan football soared. All this has, unfortunately, changed.

We barely know our own stars anymore. We now even place bets on European teams because we know a lot about them that we make judgments even before kick-off. The young are massively pledging their loyalty to various teams before they even learn how to spell their own names. From a nationalistic perspective, it’s sad.

Premier League matches were first screened in Uganda in 1995 and this could easily be the biggest mindset-changing event of the century. Why and how did we all forget

HOW WE CAN REVIVE LOCAL SOCCER our local game, our pride! What happened?

Even with the European leagues getting stronger, fans in Ghana (Asante Kotoko vs Hearts of Oark), Egypt (Al Ahly vs Zamalek), South Africa (Chiefs vs Pirates), Tanzanaia (Simba vs Yanga) and in our neighbourhood Kenya (Gor Mahia vs AFC leopards) the attitude towards their local games, especially the derbies, has never changed. In some, it’s even gotten more vibrant.

Remember those very countries have more players in these European leagues meaning they naturally have a bigger inclination to follow those leagues.

Today, the big matches between traditional giants like KCC, SC Villa and Express attract fewer than 3000 fans compared to an average 15,000 some 10 or 15

years ago. So what got Ugandans away from the stadia?

In my opinion, it’s because human beings are naturally fickle. We love watching what we consider better and richer. We in turn, ignore ours. Of course issues like quality come into play.

We aren’t far behind the rest of Africa. We just don’t believe we have piles of talent. We don’t believe we can have 70% of locally based lads play for the Cranes.

Like it’s done in Egypt, Tanzania or even South Africa.

We must focus on the basics.

Go back to the drawing board. We must package football better. We must go back to the grassroots, force teams into having academies at various age groups. We must mind facilities. We must work with government to avail more of our taxes for football

Sport

Miya in losing debut at Standard Liège �

UDQHV PLGÀHOGHU )DURXN 0L\D ÀQDOO\ PDGH KLV GHEXW IRU Standard Liège, but it was one he will want to forget quickly after his side suffered a comprehensive 4-0 away defeat at KV Mechelen. Miya joined the Belgian giants from Vipers SC at the end of January but had not featured at all until last weekend when he came on as a half-time substitute as his team trailed 3-0. The Cranes star managed to get himself booked as Liège only fell further behind.

development. We must appreciate sports science to enhance performance. We must train coaches.

We must advertise the matches to fans and we must learn from those better organised. We must stick to the right TV deals for the development of our game.

It would seem safe to predict that until standards improve dramatically in the local Ugandan league; fans looking for more thrilling entertainment will stay glued to TV screens showing “better” football. Certainly the Federation and the new UPL management seem to be thinking about most of these. We should support them.

Andrew Kabuura is a Supersport commentator and Radio City presenter. @andrewkabuura

Vivo Energy pumps Shsm into motorsport

Otile heading down South

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From page 

ivo Energy has given rally aces Ronald Sebuguzi and Arthur Blick Junior as well as Speedway motorsport club Shs150 million for motorsport activities. Sebuguzi and Blick Junior received Shs65 million each from Shell V-Power and Shell Helix respectively, while Speedway motorsport received Shs20 million from Shell Advance as sponsorship towards the motocross championship.

Vivo Energy Managing Director Hans Paulsen commended Sebuguzi and Blick Junior for their H[SHUWLVH LQ WKH ÀHOG RI UDOO\LQJ DQG HQFRXUDJHG WKHP WR XWLOLVH WKH SURÀFLHQW 6KHOO SURGXFWV WR propel them scale the heights in their respective rallying careers. “We are proud to be associated with champions like Ronald Sebuguzi and Arthur Blick Junior and we pledge to support them in their championships,” Paulsen added.

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ut the greatest feat of them all is that Otile has already won himself a three-year golf scholarship at the Tuks Golf Academy, located at University of Pretoria’s High Performance Centr Ein South Africa. Otile has already registered for a Champ Elite Golf course.Daniel Baguma, another enterprising \RXQJVWHU IURP )RUW 3RUWDO ZKR is playing caddy for Otile in Nairobi this week, is the only other Ugandan with a chance to be PHQWRUHG DW $IULFD·V ÀQHVW DPDteur golf institution, as he also

recently won a scholarship to pursue a PGA Diploma Golf Course.Otile and %DJXPD Á\ WR 6RXWK $IULFD WR HPEDUN their scholarships on March 28, to pursue the two courses that are key for the pair that harbours ambitions of turning ‘pro’

24 MATOOKE REPUBLIC / Thursday March 17- 23 2016

FEATURE

columns

Dhaira hope in stars that beat disease to continue playing... P.22

Andrew Kabuura on reviving local soccer... P.23

OTILE TEES UP A STORM The golf prodigy has conquered the local scene; now he’s destined for SA training that readies him for global stage

r

onald Otile does not need any more introduction. If ever there was a Ugandan golfer that announced their arrival with a bang, Otile was just that.

For a week last July, the 20-yearold commanded back pages and sports segments of radio and TV when he clubbed his way to the 73rd Uganda Amateur Open title and 10th Uganda Professional Open – the firstever individual to scoop local golf’s most prized diadems.

Life has not been the same for him since. An ‘Otile Fund’ spearheaded by former Uganda Golf Union (UGU) president Kiryowa Kiwanuka was set up to ensure the youngster harnesses his talent in either Scotland or South Africa with Professor Anthony Kerali, the primary contributor to the project

with Shs24m.

On hearing about his heroics and how he spurred Team Uganda to Africa Zone VI silverware, Kenya Golf Union (KGU) tore the original script to shreds and invited him for the Barclays Kenya Open, which is the season opener of the European Challenge Tour.

The phenomenal Otile writes another chapter into his already eyecatching CV when he becomes the first Ugandan amateur to play in the 220,000 Euros (Shs820m) cash-rich event that tees off at the Karen Country Club in Nairobi on Wednesday.

This event attracts many elite golf names from across the world.

Sport MATOOKE REPUBLIC

FACT FILE Name: Ronald Otile Age: 20 Handicap: Scratch or Zero Honours: 2014 EA Challenge Trophy, 2015 Africa Zone V1 title, 2015 Amateur Open, 2015 Professional Open Feats: First and youngest amateur to win a Professionals Open, second youngest to win Amateur Open, first golfer from Tooro to win both Opens Local idol: Deo Akope International idol: Matteo Manassero (Italian pro) Other sports of interest: Football Favourite football team: Arsenal Weird ritual: Putting with the glove on because he finds it comfortable

-To page 23

BETTING TIPS: YOU CAN BET ON US... P.22 vivo fuels motorsport... P.23 Published by Matooke Republic Media Ltd. P.O. Box 11393, Kampala Uganda. Plot 1835 Block 217, Ntinda.Tel: 0392 000124 info@matookerepublic.com.