celebrating moms
Kids y M d n u o r A e lv o v e R ’t My Mother’s Day Wono feel guilty about it! …and I refuse t
By Pam Moore
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ike orphaned socks, random game pieces, and naked dollies, my mom guilt pops up nearly everywhere. I wonder if I spend too much time on my phone and not enough time listening to my girls’ (repetitive) stories. I snap at my preschooler and mentally berate myself for staying up reading, which makes me tired, and consequently, impatient. I procrastinate asking my husband whether he minds putting the kids to bed so I can go out for a friend’s birthday because I feel guilty for leaving, regardless of the fact that I am home with my kids practically all day, every day. This Mother’s Day, my kids will probably give me homemade cards and pictures, which I’ll treasure. But the gift I’ll cherish most is the one my husband gave me via our shared Google calendar: An invitation to an event called “Pam do whatever Pam wants.” I plan to do exactly that—without guilt. Taking care of myself is not just good not just for me, but for my family, too. Here’s why.
Instagram feeds and wonder how everyone else makes it look so easy, if we’re doing it #allwrong. I’m not saying a day to yourself will cure insomnia or depression, but it can do wonders for your perspective. If you come back to your family refreshed and happy, that vibe will trickle down to the whole family as they catch your mood. My husband will be happy to tell you, giving me time to myself is more than worth the hassle of parenting solo while I’m out. But even if your family isn’t happy about the inconvenience of your yoga class, or you meeting a friend for a walk, Julie Burton, author of “The Self Care Solution: A Modern Mother’s Must-Have Guide to Health and Well-Being,” argues your self-care is still worth prioritizing. According to Burton, the earlier you establish your self-care routine, the easier it will be for your family to eventually accept it.
If Mama isn’t happy, no one is happy.
Even God rested on the seventh day. Moms are on call constantly. Since having kids, I have become that annoying person who sets their phone down on the table at a restaurant, in case the sitter texts. I refuse to sleep in a yurt in the mountains with my husband while our kids stay with their grandparents so I can be accessible just in case. (Also, I also don’t feel like sleeping in a yurt.) As mothers, even when we’re apart from our children, part of us, however small, remains focused on them. When we are with them, even when (or more accurately, especially when) we attempt to focus elsewhere, our children make it nearly impossible. I can’t be the only one who makes a phone call when my kids are engrossed in an imaginary fairy world, only to find they are
This old saying might sound like a manipulative way for Mama to get the whole family to bend to her every whim, but it’s not. In fact, emotions are contagious, and you can catch them from anyone. It just so happens that many women, feeling crushed by the stress of motherhood, battle insomnia for years after their babies sleep start sleeping well. We tend to carry the weight of not just our professional lives, but also commitments to the PTA, carpool, doctors’ appointments, dental visits, scheduling daycare and sitters and camps, and planning birthday parties. All the while, we scroll through our 22 May 2021 • siparent.com
Taking a break makes me a better mom.
