There is no shame in speaking about Suicide

The photography of the very talented Henry Curtis-Williams graced the cover of The Mix’s first edition of Monday Magazine. The young photographer got involved with The Mix three years ago, presenting stunning work which impressed the whole team so much that we used his images for the wrap around cover as well as the main feature inside. At 18 years old his portfolio already demonstrated a promising future in the photography industry, which only continued to grow during his degree at London College of Fashion.

Henry’s artistic talents didn’t stop with photography; he was also skilled in fashion & set design. “Cambell in Wonderland” won him the Ipswich Arts Society Award at the Anna Airy Award Exhibition which was held at the University College Suffolk in 2013.

The image, props and dress made from newspapers & bin liners were all his creations.

The Mix was so shocked and saddened to hear the devastating news of Henry

taking his own life earlier this year. We felt it was not only important to raise awareness of suicide, but to also celebrate the beautiful work that one of our young talents had created.

Henry’s parents feel let down by the system. Due to data protection laws and Henry’s age, they were not informed about previous episodes Henry suffered.

They both feel, that if they had known, there may have been a different outcome.

Sadly, we cannot change the law, but we can, as a community support one another through difficult times. If you are reading this and feel alone, please remember there is lots of support out there, including your friends & family.

If you are struggling to know where to turn, please come and see us at The Mix and the team will be happy to help you in anyway they can.

The Mix’s counsellor, Leah Orr, has written a piece from a professional’s point of view which highlights the importance of community support for those whose lives have been touched by suicide.

Cambell in Wonderland

Having been exposed to suicide through personal and professional experience, I remain inspired and grateful to Henry’s family for supporting The Mix in raising awareness of a subject that is in great need of attention. My thoughts have been with them since I was informed about Henry’s story.

Suicide remains a subject surrounded by stigma. It is a topic that seems to generate fear and discomfort in our society, something people feel unable to talk about in open conversation. The act of intentionally taking one’s life seems so unbearable to imagine, we would rather avoid it or pretend it’s not an important issue.

The World Health Organisation (WHO) reports suicide to be the cause of death for approximately one million people worldwide each year. This represents a global morality rate of one death every 40 seconds. It is further predicted that by 2020 the death rate will increase to one death every 20 seconds. In Britain alone, there are an estimated 6000 suicides each year — the biggest cause of death for young people aged between 20 and 34. In 2014, Papyrus (the national UK charity dedicated to the prevention of young suicide) reported a shocking 594 young people aged between 10 and 24 took their own lives. That’s not forgetting the many thousands each year that contemplate suicide, harm themselves or sit alone with frightening thoughts and emotions, afraid or unable to speak about how they are feeling.

Yet with high and increasing numbers of suicide emerging, it is still a subject engulfed in cultural taboo.

Some of the stigmas around suicide implicate that it’s an act of weakness,

associated with mental health disorders, or something that happens only within dysfunctional families. In truth, as the statistics verify, suicide can affect anyone. Although rates are high amongst those experiencing addiction, homelessness and mental health problems, suicide can and does results from many complex factors. Examples include: redundancy or retirement, bereavement, loss of a relationship, bullying, sexual orientation, gender identity, social isolation, and unresolved trauma such as childhood neglect or abuse. It is also more likely to occur in times of socioeconomic, individual or family crisis.

In Great Britain, gender differences play a big role around risks of suicide, with four out of five people who take their lives being male. This may have generational and cultural connotations linked to the idea around men being strong and providing for families making them less likely to talk about emotions and ask for help. Whereas a higher rate of women will access support with 1 in 4 women seeking treatment for depression compared to 1 in 10 men. The Maytree a charity in London that provides a safe, non-judgemental place and support for individuals feeling suicidal - records a higher number of women accessing their service than men. The exact cause for men to be more at risk than women is unknown. One theory is a tendency for men to be more socially isolated. They may also find it harder to engage with emotions.

Further factors contributing to the stigma may have stemmed from religious and social biases that reinforce the idea of suicide being a sin. Prior to 1961, a

failed attempt to end one’s life was the offence of ‘committing suicide’, a crime with the potential for prosecution and imprisonment. The suicide act (1961) decriminalized the behaviour but the term ‘committed suicide’ is still widely used in today’s society. SOB’s (Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide), the UK charity who offer support to those bereaved by suicide, have campaigned to get this term abolished from our language.

Importantly, this highlights the links between negative language and the stigma and shame attached to this type of bereavement.

Individuals bereaved by suicide are quite often left with a mixture of emotions that can be different from other forms of grief. Although grief can be unique in each path it channels, grief through suicide often begins with a state of shock, a numbness followed by a tornado of different thoughts, question and emotions. Survivors (the term used in reference to individuals bereaved by suicide) commonly experience feelings of guilt or responsibility, questions of ‘why?’ and ‘what could I have done?’.

Anger, rejection, confusion, betrayal, and feeling ashamed, are re-occurring themes, alongside a sense of relief, especially if the loved one had been harbouring emotional unease for some time. Exposure to suicide is a risk indicator linked to suicide attempts and completion. For me, this highlights the importance of people who have lost loved ones through suicide getting the support they need and space to talk about the associated emotions.

For the many that have been exposed to suicide, having a non-judgemental, safe space to discuss what they’re going

through can lead the way to ensuring they are not condemned to the same outcome. In my experience, people don’t know what to say or don’t want to confront the unimaginable, and so avoid mentioning the event. Listening to someone with compassion and without judgement can help that person make sense of what’s happened.

Individuals who have attempted to take their own life have reported feeling isolated, confused, inadequate, worthless, depressed, and hopeless.

They experience emotions such as guilt, shame and anger, to the point where owning the way they go seems like the only option. The misconception suicide is a selfish act contradicts reports that people who have made attempts believe themselves to be a burden and feel their families would be better off without them. Furthermore, suicidal ideation or thoughts can follow a series of traumatic blows that are not managed effectively.

Within communities we can lead the way to banishing the stigma that can often be a barrier to people seeking help by talking about suicide. As a topic, suicide is often met with silence, reinforcing the sense of shame and further isolating those experiencing suicidal thoughts.

People may fear that the topic being raised will reinforce suicidal ideas, scared they’ll say the wrong thing, feel pressured to remain upbeat or find solutions. Supporting someone through suicidal ideation can feel like a huge responsibility, and something I would not encourage individuals to do alone.

I would like to see communities working together with greater awareness and signposting to available treatment with the emergence of increased one to one support for individuals and their families alongside groups set up especially for those experiencing suicidal thoughts.

Page from Vanilla Magazine Canadian Ice Field

“Henry’s parents are currently working closely with Northgate School, where Henry was a pupil, to set up a memorial piece of one of his most memorable photographs. They are also working closely with Northgate School to form the Henry Curtis-Williams Photography Foundation which will enable student photographers to compete in an annual photography competition and win an internship with a local professional photographer. Next year there will be an exhibition of Henry’s work held locally more details to follow”.

Telephone support: Samaritans contact: 116 123 NHS: 111 Helpful information: Mind.org.uk NHS.uk/conditions/suicide.

Papyrus-uk.org Support groups: suffolk-sobs.org.uk maytree.org.uk

Henry Curtis-Williams