The Most Underrated Piece of Baby Advice

WRITTEN BY LORI JO BERG | PHOTO KELLY KUNTZ PHOTOGRAPHY

I’m not an extreme person by any sense of the imagination. For better or worse, I’m a middle-of-the road kind of gal.

But my first born changed that. For a period of time, at least.

Looking back, my approach to new motherhood was a bit on the extreme side. I read all the books, had a strict sleeping schedule, planned excessively and obsessed about her first foods. Her schedule consumed me as I timed naps and took notes. And when it all fell apart, which it did more often than not, I convinced myself I was failing.

I’d like to think I got a bit of my “happy medium” approach back with my third child. And yes, some of that may be that he’s simply the third child. But it’s also because I’ve learned to put the books down, turn Google off and focus on THIS…my gut instinct.

As I sit here and look at the must-have gift list for a friend’s upcoming baby shower, I see the dreaded “everything you need to know” 500page book. The one full of guidelines, charts, timelines, numbers, shoulds and should-nots. The same one I looked at multiple times a day.

I think there’s one piece of long-forgotten advice tossed around at baby showers or wherever: Swap the Google death spiral for your gut instincts. There’s a reason babies don’t come with manuals and I believe a big part of that reason is a mother’s (or caregiver’s) ability to feel what it is they need. It’s that inner voice that may go against all the top-rated baby books or the opinions of others.

I feel for new mothers today. The information overload they’re likely to experience must be utterly overwhelming. Whether it’s in the form of books, papers, manuals or links to popular baby blogs, every day it seems like there’s more pulling us away from our own intuition.

Now don’t get me wrong, I think these resources can come in handy here and there, but should they be our end-all be-all-guide? I think there can be a healthy happy medium between the two.

I personally feel if I would have listened to that inner voice a bit more, I could have saved myself massive amounts of anxiety and guilt.

So, as you approach your new journey to motherhood, I hope you can learn to listen to your gut and let it have a say in the many decisions that are sure to come your way. Read the books as you see fit, but also ask yourself, what do I think needs to happen?

And as always, self-given grace is necessary on this bumpy journey. We live and we learn.

Lori Jo Berg is a Montana Native, mother of three and freelance writer who enjoys writing about the tougher side of life and connecting with her audience on a deeper level.