Mental Health Facing
Fears and Anxieties: A Normative Part of Growing Up WRITTEN BY SARA SILVA
At some time or another, we have all felt a quick, LOUD thump of our heart when something surprises us and triggers a feeling of fear or the sick-to-the-stomach sensation when we are confronted by something that worries us and makes us nervous. Many of us have also experienced times when a worrying thought goes around and around in our head until it seems to grow bigger and bigger—taking up all the space in the room and sucking all the air out of it. Feelings such as fear, anxiety and nervousness are all part of the human experience and very much a part of growing up. These feelings are such an integral part of growing, that children universally tend to fear similar things at similar ages:
Ç Infants tend to fear separation from their loved ones, strangers, loud noises and changes to the familiar (like daddy shaving off his beard).
Ç Toddlers tend to fear little and really BIG things (to them) such as bugs and animals. They also tend to fear loud noises (especially those they do not make themselves), costumes and the dark (particularly if they are left by themselves in the dark).
Ç Preschoolers begin to fear imaginative things such as monsters, witches,
ghosts and other imaginary and supernatural beings. They may fear masks, costumes, storms, fire and bad guys. They also may fear being alone, especially in the dark…We may also begin to see some of these themes popping up in their play.
Ç School-age children begin to fear more real things, such as accidents and death. They may fear something happening that would cause harm to themselves or their loved ones. They may also begin experiencing social anxiety and worry about being rejected by their peers.
Validate My Feelings
Fear is there to keep us safe. Let your little one know that it is OK to feel afraid or worried sometimes. These are feelings like all of our other feelings, and they come and go throughout the day. We can support our children by coming alongside them and sitting with them in their experience at that moment, with compassion and empathy. We can reflect back to them what we see and what we hear – validating their feelings and experiences. We can also reassure them that they won’t feel like this forever, that feelings come, and they go and that we are here to help keep them safe. We can be bigger and stronger than their worries and fears and we can speak honestly to them about these feelings.
20
may 2022
