june 2020
Grads & Dads Let the celebration begin!
MEET the class of 2020 Why resiliency is so important Easy gift: Books for grads CONTINUING PANDEMIC COVERAGE
Sending your child back to daycare? How to keep your child as safe as possible
MONTEREY BAY PARENT • june 2020
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MONTEREY BAY PARENT • june 2020
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Contents June 2020
Monterey Bay
PARENT
P.O. Box 806 Pacific Grove, CA 93950 MontereyBayParent.com 831-582-1373
Publisher Andrea Breznay abreznay@ montereybayparent.com 831-582-1373 Sales Executive Cherilyn Miller cmiller@ montereybayparent.com 831-582-1770 Cover Photographers Michelle Findlay Tatiana Scher Contributing Writers KIMBERLY BLAKER LISSA CARLSON Katie Raquel tricia vlasak rob weisskirch
THE CLASS OF 2020 12
Books for Grads. If you’re in need of a little gift for a high school grad, we have suggestions for almost every grad on your list.
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Seven Ways to Grow Resilience. Is your grad armed with the protective skills needed to face life’s toughest challenges? Carlson has suggestions on how to help grads learn this vital skill. by Lissa Carlson
16-17 Grad Gallery. Check out this small sampling of Monterey County high school grads. You can see the entire Grad Gallery online at MontereyBayParent.com. happy father’s day 20
A Day for Dad. Make this Father’s Day one to remember for the fathers in your life with our suggestions for special celebrations. by Kimberly Blaker
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Pandemic Parenting. Make this Father’s Day one to remember for the fathers in your life with our suggestions for special celebrations. by Katie Raquel
summer fun 24
Let the Summer Fun Begin. Fun new products that will make summer playtime even better. by Elena Epstein
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Use Your Head. How to choose and fit your child’s bike helmet.
continuing coronavirus coverage Editorial Submissions are welcome. We reserve the right to edit, reject or comment editorially on all material contributed. We cannot be responsible for return of any unsolicited materials. Articles and advertisements in Monterey Bay Parent do not necessarily reflect the opinion of the publisher nor does the publisher assume responsibility for statements made by our advertisers or editorial contributors. Acceptance of advertising by Monterey Bay Parent does not constitute an endorsement of the products, services or information. We do not knowingly present any product or service which is fraudulent or misleading in nature. Monterey Bay Parent is available free of charge at over 250 distribution points throughout Monterey and Santa Cruz counties as well as digitally at www. MontereyBayParent.com. Monterey Bay Parent is ©2020 by Monterey Bay Parent, LLC. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or part without written permission is strictly prohibited.
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Sending Your Child Back to Daycare? There are some basic precautions that can help minimize the dangers of transmission once you send your child back to daycare.
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Preserving Memories With a Covid Time Capsule. A time capsule is a great way to capture memories during this unprecedented time. We have easy suggestions on what to include and how to create your family’s capsule.
in each issue: 08 Father’s Day Local dad, Rob Weisskirch covers parenting topics from a dad’s point of view. 10 Grandma Says An experienced grandmother of two offers insight and advice.
on the cover
Dexter (7) and Duke (4) are the sons of our cover photographer, Tatiana Scher and their dad, David. They currently live and attend school in Carmel. Their favorite activities during the current shelter in place are boogie boarding, jumping on the trampoline, making giant bubbles, watching movies, and eating mommy’s bagels. Photo by Tatiana Scher 831-566-7225 • www.tscher.com
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from the publisher… Graduation, Father’s Day, and Reopening June is always busy with graduations, weddings, Father’s Day, and the start of summer camp. This year looks quite a bit different. The graduations are still happening, without the in-person ceremonies and pomp and circumstance. Weddings are mostly postponed or have turned into very small immediate family-only events. Father’s Day might look a little different but most families are finding alternative ways to enjoy dad’s special day. But summer camps? Wow, that’s one activity that really looks different this year! Right up until (a delayed) press time, we had hoped to update our summer camp directory and bring you some options in the print issue Unfortunately, camp providers are still scrambling to make alternative plans for the summer. Many have already cancelled, some have switched to a virtual format, a few are planning on in-person camps and many are in limbo. We are working on updating information as quickly as possible and will have it on our website at MontereyBayParent.com. Suffice it to say, this summer is going to look very different for most families and you’re going to have to resign yourself to being creative. The group most affected will be working parents who had counted on camp to be their childcare for the summer. Hopefully, more options will be shared in the next few days. This year we decided our high school grads needed some extra love so we did a GRAD GALLERY online. Parents could upload a photo and brief bio of their graduate. On June 6, we’ll choose two random grads to win a prize package each. You can also see the video slide show at MontereyBayParent.com of all the entered grads. And, on pages 16-17 you’ll find a selection of the entered students. We couldn’t fit all of them so we went with the earliest entries. We also highlighted graduations this month with two of our articles. Lissa Carlson writes about resilience (talk about timely!) on pages 14-15. While Lissa’s article is aimed at graduates, it’s advice we all could use right now because if there’s one trait that will get your through a pandemic–and just about anything else–it’s resilience. We also have some fun book suggestions for easy gift giving. Tuck some cash inside a book and you have the most-requested, most appreciated grad gift. Congratulations to all of the Class of 2020! We haven’t forgotten that summer is almost here. Bike riding has been a pandemic staple for many families and we want to be sure that your entire family is wearing a properly-fitted helmet on your rides. We have tips on how to do exactly that on page 26. Finally, we know that many of you are going back to work soon and have questions on sending your child back to daycare. We talked to a few experts to gather the information you need to ask the right questions and make the decision on how best to keep your family safe. Read that article on page 28. Happy June. Be safe.
Andrea Breznay/Publisher
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W
ith Father’s Day this month, I think about the stories kids will tell of their fathers. As humans, we evolved to be around people--to work together, to compete, to laugh, to cry, and to tell stories. For many, telling stories can be describing to others what just happened or an elaborate tale with a humorous ending. As a dad, I tell stories all the time to my daughter–whether that is reading a book, explaining how something works, or retelling a past event. So, the question is, what stories will your kids tell about you? Nowadays, there are few opportunities to slay dragons, save the city from evil, or lead a rebellion. Kids don’t
need extraordinary acts to have stories of you. Dads leave an impression of who they are on their children by how they interact daily and, in particular, when times are tough. Think of your growing up years and how you would characterize the kind of person your dad was. There is little doubt that growing up during a pandemic and experiencing radical changes will leave an impact on children. They get their cues of how to respond when things are tough, and tough like now, from how their parents handle the situation. Parents can become the filter through which kids see the world. It may be worthwhile to think about what kinds
Father’s day by Rob Weisskirch
of emotions the kids see from you, as the dad, in the current situation. I don’t think anyone has been immune from feeling the anxiety of not knowing what will happen next. Have I been stressed? Yes. Has homeschooling my daughter been unpleasant? Yes. Has doing my job from home been hard? Yes. Has there been more screen time than I would like? Yes. Have I been a less-than-perfect parent? Yes. Shelter in place has stretched at the seams of this fabric of fatherhood, but overall, this has been a chance to create the plotline of how our family handled the pandemic and everything associated with it. The past generation that faced a pandemic and adversity raised a gen-
The Story of Dad As a dad, I tell stories all the time to my daughter–whether that is reading a book, explaining how something works, or retelling a past event. So, the question is, what stories will your kids tell about you?
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MONTEREY BAY PARENT • june 2020
eration that went on to do great things. We will too. I hope the story my daughter tells will go something like this: During the pandemic, Daddy and I did a lot of arts and crafts. We went for walks all over Marina and the beach. We made rope swings on random trees in the parks, planted lots of stuff in the garden, and made Kool-aid pickles (yes, it’s a thing–look it up). Mommy baked lots of yummy things, and we played games. I hope that the story doesn’t become one of deprivation and isolation but rather one that was faced with innovation and ingenuity. In our family, we stay optimistic that things can always get better. Dads can help set the theme of the story. So, you can choose for the Kool Aid Pickles Yep, Kool Aid Pickles are a thing! theme to be bleak or to be full of potential. If you want to give it a try, this The extraordinary recipe is from tornadoughalli.com. acts worthy of stories are the most ordinary ones– giving your kids a stable home, treating people with respect, providing food and shelter, pushing your kids to be better people, and making them feel safe. These are the ways that a child’s story Ingredients gets written. On this Fa1 32 oz jar dill pickle spears ther’s Day, I do think there 1 packet Kool Aid in any flavor are many dads out there (The most popular flavors used who especially deserve are Tropical Punch and Cherry. recognition, doing their But you can use any flavor.) essential services jobs 3/4 cup sugar and risking their health to benefit all of us. Then, Instructions there are the “everyday • In large bowl drain your pickheroes” of dads who enle juice from jar. Add Kool Aid gage fully with their kids powder and sugar to the juice and assume their equal and whisk together until disresponsibilities as a parsolved. ent. These are the stories • Pour back into jar with pickles, we should all tell. • Seal top and shake. Writer Umberto Eco • Place in refrigerator for 5-7 wrote, “I believe that what days shaking once a day. we become depends on what our fathers teach us at odd moments when they aren’t trying to teach us. We are formed by little scraps of wisdom.” All this time together has become an opportunity to teach the kids through our interactions together. The good thing is that the story of dad continues to be written, and the current events are just one chapter. As a dad, you can craft a happy ending to your child’s story.
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The so-called “traditional” family is no longer as typical as it once was. Mom and dad, two moms, two dads, grandparents raising their children’s children, a mix of parents and stepparents, are all common and valid and beautiful families. Some of these complex family configurations mean the role of grandparents has changed. I married my husband when my daughter was eighteen years old, and my son had just turned nine. My daughter moved out on her own shortly after that. Because of the timing, my husband has never really played the role of a father to her. He knew she was too old for him to move into that role, so he wisely took on a role as more of a loving uncle: there when she needed him, but never too pushy or opinionated about parenting issues having to do with her. That worked for a long time. However, our first grandchild came along four years ago, and my husband’s role changed yet again. He is the only grandpa my grandkids know. My daughter’s children are OUR grandchildren. And I’m pretty sure nothing thrills him more than to hear our granddaughter screech, “Grandpa!” and run into his arms. Watching the love between them is one of the most precious things in the world. Now, to show that a stepfather’s role is ever-evolving, my husband’s place in my daughter’s life has changed again: my daughter and her husband just bought their first home. Watching them navigate new homeownership has been fun. But it has also allowed my husband to fill yet another role: handyman. He has spent hours at their home fixing leaks, trimming trees, and advising on the issues that go along with homeownership. I know it makes my husband feel good to know that my daughter trusts him and seeks out his expertise. It also strengthens his role as “grandpa” because he is building friendship and trust with my daughter, which is lovely to see. Thinking about June, and Father’s Day, made me want to shout out to men…especially the ones who are playing those important “father” roles in place of someone else. It is not an easy position to be in, and it is often thankless. It is not always simple to
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celebrating grandma says
by Tricia Vlasak
Meet the StepParents (& Step-Grandparents) learn the unwritten rules of step-parenting or step-grandparenting. But just from observing these last few years and the relationship my husband has built with the grandkids, I can tell he has learned to navigate those waters. I asked him for some pointers on making step-grandparenting a successful and fulfilling relationship: • Be patient and let the relationship come to you. If you force it, it feels awkward and uncomfortable. But if you remember just to be yourself, relax, and take a genuine interest in the children, the relationship will develop. • Don’t overstep your bounds by offering unsolicited parenting advice or opinions to the grandchild’s parents. • Be available and consistent. • Build a hobby or interest together; some activity that is all yours. For example, my husband does woodworking and enjoys chopping firewood. My granddaughter loves spending time in the garage with him, building things. She also loves to follow him around on our property, moving chopped firewood and stacking tree cuttings. It’s their
“thing,” and she’s always excited when she gets to “work” with Grandpa. • Accept the grandchild as your own. This one is important. In our situation, there are no biological grandfathers in the picture, and my husband’s biological daughter does not have children yet. So, there are no issues regarding treating biological and step grandkids differently. But, in some families, there are several sets of grandparents and a mix of bio and step-grandchildren. It is important to learn about each child and have a relationship with each of them based on their own merits, not on who “created” them. Being a part of a blended family is not easy. So, on this Father’s Day, here’s to the men who take the challenge on with humor, patience, humility, and a lot of love. tricia vlasAK is a mother, grandparent, and wife. She works in law enforcement when she isn’t writing about parenting, hiking with her dogs, or going on Jeep adventures. MONTEREY BAY PARENT • june 2020
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Books for Grads It’s what every graduate needs as they leave high school behind and head to college, the military, vocational school or their first adult job: another book. We’re serious! Here are a handful of gift ideas for the high school grad in your life. FOR GRADS HEADING TO COLLEGE The Naked Roommate by Harlan Cohen A New York Times bestselling book, “The Naked Roommate” is filled with expert tips and advice about everything from classes and friends to dorm life and sex. The 5 Ingredient College Cookbook by Pamela Ellgen Healthy cooking expert and cookbook author Ellgen sticks to 5 easy-to-find main ingredients per recipe. The recipes make it simple for students to cook delicious, healthy food. Wolfpack: How to Come Together, Unleash Our Power, and Change the Game by Abby Wambach Based on her commencement speech to Barnard College’s graduates, two-time Olympic gold medalist, and FIFA World Cup champion Wambach delivers an empowering rally cry for women to unleash their power and unite with their pack. FOR THE GRAD WHO ISN’T SURE WHAT’S NEXT Undecided: Navigating Life and Learning After High School by Genevieve Morgan This comprehensive handbook outlines the options available to teens after high school and provides suggestions on how to follow each path successfully. It covers everything from trade school pros and cons to advice on how to prepare for life in the military.
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In Conclusion, Don’t Worry About It by Lauren Graham In this expansion of her 2017 commencement speech at her hometown Langley High, Graham reflects on growing up, pursuing your dreams, and living in the here and now. A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Future: Twists and Turns and Lessons Learned by Michael J. Fox Fox abandoned high school to pursue an acting career, but went on to receive honorary degrees from several universities and garner the highest accolades for his acting, as well as for his writing. In his book, he motivates graduates to recognize opportunities, maximize their abilities, and roll with the punches. FOR THE GRAD TAKING A GAP YEAR The Bucket List: 1000 Adventures Big & Small by Kath Stathers This guide to creative adventures features an eclectic range of ideas that will serve as inspiration to graduates who are taking some time off before their next step. MONTEREY BAY PARENT • june 2020
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Ways to Grow Resilience
On 9/11/2001, I was driving to work when a radio report announced that a plane had crashed into one of the World Trade Center’s twin towers. It sounded like a terribly unfortunate accident. But when I arrived at work and a co-worker told us that a second plane had crashed into the other tower, we knew it was no accident. The news was especially gut-wrenching because I was three months pregnant. I remember telling another coworker how unsettled I was about the idea of bringing a child into a world where something as tragic and evil as 9/11 could occur. She reassured me that it was going to be OK by reminding me that she’d been pregnant during another time of national angst: the Vietnam War. And while my now 18-year-old son prepares to enter a new chapter in his life as a high school graduate during a pandemic, I’m reminded that somewhere, there’s a pregnant or new mom who might be having the same worries I did during yet another trou-
bling and uncertain time. What protects us from believing the world is a dangerous place to live when hard times strike? Resilience. And it’s something our current high school graduates have had lots of opportunity to practicing, going back as far as the womb. As they transition to adulthood, you can help them gain the skills they’ll need to flourish as adults. Fortunately, resilience is a set of skills we can be taught, says Lacie Kettelhut, trauma informed community coordinator for Gundersen Health System, who identified trauma informed care as a Population Health strategic priority in 2019. These seven valuable insights gleaned from her expertise and that of others provide clear advice in uncertain times for our newest batch of high school graduates. 1. Find healthy and supportive relationships. YOU can be the healthy and supportive relationship for your graduate. Carolyn Colleen Bostrack, author of “F.I.E.R.C.E.: Transforming Your Life in the Face of
Adversity 5 Minutes at a Time,” says that if you’re in need of your own relationship and struggling to find it, it’s OK to pick anyone positive. For instance, Oprah is one of hers. On days she struggles, she asks herself what would Oprah do. Encourage graduates to identify positive role models to emulate in your physical absence. 2. Take care of yourself. In order to be strong for others, you must first be strong for yourself. Teach your graduates to speak to themselves as they would a dear friend. Forgive others and let go. Ensure they place value on adequate sleep, good nutrition, and reliable daily routines. Live intentionally. Even using Sunday afternoons to set intentions for the coming week, however small, can help prioritize our efforts and find more meaning in life, Bostrack says. 3. Know where to find support when you need it. Where can you find support at all lev-
Is your grad armed with the protective skills needed to face life’s toughest challenges? 14
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MONTEREY BAY PARENT • june 2020
els of your life, whether it’s a therapist or a friend who’s a good listener? What resources could your graduate turn to based on life needs, such as community programs to assist them financially, or to end an addiction or abusive relationship? Who are the 5 most important people in their life? This might be friends or family, fellow church members, or co-workers. Bostrack says she found solace in like-minded people she met in online groups and through conferences when she was lacking such people in her immediate life. 4. Reframe, change the narrative, and keep a long-term view. Our thoughts frame our mindset. Speak kindly to yourself and help your graduate do the same. For example, a graduate who is struggling with friendships might need to be reminded that some of us take longer to find our tribe, and that you know they’re lovable enough that they will eventually. Or when Kettelhut’s daughter’s perfectionism has her focused on the two wrong on a quiz with 25 questions, she’ll counter that with, “So if you got two wrong, how many does that mean you got right?”
MONTEREY BAY PARENT • june 2020
5. Face your fears and adversity, five minutes at a time. Carolyn offers a technique known as the BFF in her book. The idea? You can do anything for five minutes. B = Take a deep Breath. F = Focus on the present. F = Take Fierce action. (You’ll have to read the book, available at CarolynColleen.com, for details on Fierce actions.) 6. Be aware of your past and your triggers. While we can’t use our past as an excuse for our behavior or a predictor of our future, we can use it as a learning opportunity to do better. Awareness of how our own behavior contributes to our struggles is a critical step toward resilience. What patterns do you or your graduate recognize in their life? These are hard questions that may require the expertise of a therapist. 7. Find meaning and celebrate success. To help graduates gain resilience, ask them the “why” about what gives them meaning; it’s not so much what you do but why you want to do it. When your graduate finds a driving force, how to gain it becomes clearer. For instance, Carolyn says she
wanted to be Whitney Houston growing up, and she realized it was because she wanted to have the same impact on others that Whitney’s music had on her. While she’s not a singing superstar, she has impacted the lives of others through her story of resilience. What gives you meaning gives you life, Carolyn says. Encourage your graduate to set small goals and celebrate them. Something as small as making healthy eating and sleeping choices for one week can be cause to be energized. Congratulations! You’ve parented your child full circle from 9/11 to COVID-19. You both deserve to celebrate that success. And if there is anything history has taught us, it’s that life will surely continue to offer us lessons in resilience as parents and graduates, and we’ll continue to learn and grow in resilience because of them.
Lissa Carlson is the publisher of a parenting magazine in Wisconsin and the mother of two boys, ages 15 and 18.
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This is just a small sampling of the awesome class of 2020!
Francesca Aguon
isaiah allen
Jonah Baeza
Mercedes Iree Cervantes
brandon chun
Tristan Cortez
Elijah Garcia
natalia garcia
malena hall
harrison herendeen
Angelo Kelly
Kira Kitayama
kai raine lee
rebekah lee
Jhonatan Mejia
jose enrique meza
Aaliyah Reyes
victoria rivas
Congratulations, Grads. May your best days be ahead of you.
Our GRAD GALLERY sponsors
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montereybayparent.com cassie stroud
Samantha Mariel Suarez
alizandra momipar
Pablo Valle-Sanchez
julian nathanial
cesar jimenez Salinas
MONTEREY BAY PARENT • june 2020 Mariah Trinity
Valerye Trevizo
Aiyana Barlese
Jerome Anthony Brown lll
alexander cabanilla
Natalie Casapia
David Castaneda-Fuentes
Danielle & David
abdullah elijah diallo
nicole dizon
Abner ‘AJ’ Escalante
andrea escobedo
dagon herring
Cameron Hill
kaylee horn
annalicia isadore
Trevone Johnson
natalia lizarbe
kelly lucha
Nora MacKinnon
giovanni madrigal
Connor Manley
Jose Pamatz North
renee ortega
SERENA PACI
Oakley Rose Pelton
angel ramon
Madeleine Schmidt
destiny sell
kodey sommer
Amber Soto
julianna sampaoio
Thank you to our prize sponsors
MONTEREY BAY PARENT •jordan junewilleford 2020 Ferdie jr Villanueva
To view the entire GRAD GALLERY and the slideshow of entrants go to MontereyBayParent.com montereybayparent.com
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ff o s t a H
YORK SCHOOL CLASS OF 2020
Cheyenne Avina • Sophie Barth • Jupiter Berrysmith • Nora Butler • Josefina Camacho • Francesco Carriglio Stuart Carruthers • Hayden Concepcion-Deyo • Matthew DaCosta • Henriette Diouf • Kaeden Ellawendy • Vivian Fei Yulissa Flores-Ibanez • Juan Galarza • Matthew Galloway • Edwin Gao • Fletcher Gaucher • Jordan Goodwin Jared Griffith • Thomas Hall • Rikiya Jochi • E’raya Johnson • Sooyeon Kim • Madison Kimball • Alexander Lin Jiacheng Liu • Matteo Lorenz • Tobey Malone • Albert Matei • Nathan Nguyen • Annabelle Norman • Alexa Ortiz Luke Rosenblum • Sophia Sanico • Micheal Scholis • Rohan Sethi • Luke Song • Vianne Storrs • Daisy Swanson Annushka Veliko-Shapko • Justin Vu • Samuel Wisner • Stone Yang • Owen Yu • Jonathan Zhao Andy Zhou • Guanjia Zhu Members of the York School Class of 2020 have contributed over 8,500 hours of service to the community. In addition to financial aid, the 47 graduates were offered more than $3.5 million in scholarship and merit awards. We’re proud of them and their accomplishments, and we wish them all the best! The Class of 2020 was accepted to 94 colleges and universities, including: The University of Arizona Arizona State University Boston University University of Calgary University of California, Berkeley University of California, Davis University of California, Irvine University of California, Los Angeles University of California, Merced Unversity of California, Riverside University of California, San Diego University of California, Santa Barbara University of California, Santa Cruz Cal Poly University, Pomona Cal Poly University, San Luis Obispo California Lutheran University California Northstate University College of Health Sciences California State University, Chico California State University, Long Beach
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California State University, Monterey Bay California State University, Northridge Central Washington University Chapman University University of Chicago University of Colorado at Boulder Colorado School of Mines Colorado State University University of Denver Drexel University University of Georgia The George Washington University Goucher College University of Hawaii at Manoa Hawaii Pacific University Howard University Hult International Business School Humboldt State University University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign
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Indiana University at Bloomington University of Iowa Kenyon College The King’s College Lehigh University Lewis & Clark College Loyola Marymount University Loyola University Chicago University of Massachusetts, Amherst University of Miami University of Minnesota The University of Montana Monterey Peninsula College New York University Northeastern University Northern Arizona University Northwestern University Oberlin College Occidental College University of Oregon
Oregon State University University of the Pacific Pepperdine University Pitzer College University of Portland University of Puget Sound Reed College Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute University of Rochester University of San Diego Saint Mary’s College of California San Diego State University University of San Francisco San Francisco State University University of St. Andrews San Jose State University Santa Clara University University of Southern California Scripps College Seattle University Smith College Sonoma State University
University of Southern California Southern California Institute of Architecture Southern Methodist University Southern Oregon University Swathmore College Tufts University University of Victoria University of Utah University of Washington Washington State University Wellesley College Whitman College Whittier College University of Wisconsin-Madison
MONTEREY BAY PARENT • june 2020
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A Day for Dad
Make This Father’s Day One to Remember
Father’s Day is just around the corner; so don’t be caught scrambling for the perfect way to show you care. Try some of these ideas, and make it a special day just for Dad that both of you will enjoy. Video Surprise Make a “World’s Best Dad” video that he’ll treasure for years to come. Put on your brainstorming cap for your own ideas, or try some of these. On videotape, share special memories of your dad, sing to him, read him a poem, or do skits. Get the whole family involved and conduct interviews with each other with Dad as the main topic. Don’t forget your props such as a banner or collection of his prized possessions including sports trophies or equipment that tell who he is. Finally, be sure to let him know just how much he means to you. King for the Day It isn’t everyday that dad is waited on hand and foot. Offer to be his loyal servant for the day, and bring him coffee and toast in bed; fetch his newspaper; lie out his clothes, bath towel, and mat; be host or hostess and serve his beverages and snacks; clean up after him and anything else to give him the royal treatment. Memories of Dad Purchase a scrapbook, and create a record of memories about
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MONTEREY BAY PARENT • june 2020
your father and you. Include photos of special outings, events, and holidays you’ve had together and other memorabilia from family vacations and activities such as concert or sporting event ticket stubs, postcards, and brochures. Next to each photo or item, describe your memories of those times together with your father. A Man to Remember Get your creative juices flowing, and write a poem for your dad. You need not be a poet to come up with a few thoughtful words to say how much he means. Describe the impact he’s had on your life, how he’s helped you to become the person you are today, and what he is to you. Then print it on stationery, mat, and frame it. Togetherness Takes Two Has your dad been putting off the dreaded task of cleaning out his attic, basement, or garage? Give him a gift of shelving materials and brackets, wall racks and ceiling hooks, and storage crates. Then spend the day helping him to get it organized while catching up on old times.
WELCOME NEW PATIENTS!
Reid Giedt, MD
Just the Two of Us Put together a photo collage of you and your father. There are many ways to do this. Find instructions at your nearby craft store and create a Decoupage photo collage, keep it simple with a multi-photo frame, or purchase a unique 3D Photo Collage frame which can be found through a number of stores online.
Christine McCuistion, MD
and associates
World’s Greatest Let dad know that he’s the greatest 365 days a year! Give him a “World’s Greatest Dad” coffee mug, t-shirt, book cover, book marker, wallet card, or other trinket that he’ll see or use regularly. Father’s Day Feast As the old adage goes; the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. So, treat dad to a mouth-watering meal on the bar-be-que. Fix him his favorite: steak, ribs, chicken, burgers, or chops for starters, and don’t forget the grilled potatoes or squash, garlic bread or rolls, fresh green beans or asparagus, sweet corn, potato salad, and last but not least, his favorite dessert.
Jerrie Lim, MD
Tonya Blakemore, MD
Robert Naimark, MD
Hieu Nguyen, MD
We are excited to welcome Jennae Lee, M.D.
Take a Stroll Enjoy a peaceful walk together in the park or the country. Better yet, gather your bikes or roller blades, hit a scenic bike path, and enjoy the summer breeze. Certificates of Appreciation Show Dad you appreciate his hard work by returning the favor. Make coupons that say: “In appreciation for all that you do, Dad, please redeem this certificate for a hassle-free car wash by me!” Other favors include sweeping out the garage, mowing the lawn, or any other task for which he normally takes responsibility. Catch a Flick…..or two Treat your dad to a movie fest. Rent a couple newly released videos or some of his long time favorites. Don’t forget the hot, buttered popcorn, candy, and soft drinks. Kimberly Blaker is a freelance parenting and lifestyle writer. She’s also founder and director of KB Creative Digital Services, an internet marketing agency, at kbcreativedigital.com MONTEREY BAY PARENT • june 2020
Jennae Lee, MD.
Comprehensive pediatric outpatient care at the office and inpatient care at Salinas Valley Memorial Hospital
831-757-8124 260 San Jose Street, Salinas, CA 93901 Visit our website at
PacificCoastPediatrics.com montereybayparent.com
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Pandemic Parenting Tools for stay at home dads
O
ne of the many lifestyle shifts triggered by Covid-19? More dads than ever are home with their kids. And just like us moms, they need community support, self-care and tools to navigate a shifting set of responsibilities. Unlike moms, they may be less likely to reach out for help. So guess what - I did a bit of reaching for you! The advice below is a compilation of tips from half a dozen all-star dads. Do what you love and bring your kids into it. Are you into woodworking, gardening, baking, painting, hiking, playing the guitar? Keep doing what you love and bring your kids in. One dad wrote, “I’ve found solace in gardening with my 3 and 8 year old sons. I used to work at a horticulture therapy facility where we had a farm, nursery and landscaping company, so I know how healthy for the mind and spirit getting your hands dirty can be. Seeing joy on their faces when something pops up feeds my soul.” Another writes, “We ride bikes and fish. Both kids learned to ride their 2-wheel bikes during quarantine.” One dad found that it’s possible to get plenty of work done in the yard with his 2-year-old son nearby, thanks to a mini-wheelbarrow, a shovel and the directive to “find as many worms as you can!” Figure out what you need to keep your mind and body strong. Whether it’s working out from home, listen-
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ing to motivational podcasts or taking a few hours to decompress with a walk in the woods - the dads I spoke with are putting effort into keeping their minds and bodies healthy so they can show up well for their families. With complete control over their meals, some are putting more thought into managing portions and eating more whole foods. To stay connected with friends, some are texting and video calling more often - even writing letters and mailing packages. [As an aside, the resurgence of pen-pals is a trend that I am 100% behind!] Get to really know your kids. One dad writes, “The days are long but the years are short… I try to remember that this time is precious and I have a real opportunity here.” Another suggests: “Get down on their level, and just really listen to them. What kinds of activities are exciting for them? What kinds of cool ideas could you introduce them to? When you create a fun space for them to play in, it’s great to just see their imagination go wild. I have so much time with them compared to when I was working; I feel like I already know them better.” Connect with other parents. If you know a friend is going through a similar transition, shoot them a quick text to see how they’re doing. Ask what they and the kids are up to. And if you’re stuck, reach out to them for advice. Check out a stay-at-home dad
Facebook group, browse “fatherly” articles, regularly read Monterey Bay Parent (holla!) and start building up your own network. I don’t know how I would have survived working from home without mine. Truly, it’s worth braving a little awkwardness to make it happen. Find a healthy way to decompress. A common thread when talking with these dads: they take this job seriously and that was true before Covid-19. The difference lies in how much time they’re actually spending with their kids. As stay-at-home moms know, those long hours are a mixed bag. Loads of beautiful moments. Loads of stress. It can help for dads to spend some time reflecting on what helps them feel good, and then communicate those needs to their partner. If needed, online therapy can be a good option, and you don’t have to wait until something is “really wrong.” We could all use a little more support these days. When in doubt, one dad suggests “Count to ten, take a deep breath and sip - don’t gulp! - the whiskey.” You’ve got this, guys. Happy Father’s Day. Katie Raquel is the founder of Katie’s Coldpress, a Realtor with Over the Moon Realty and the author of SQUEEZED: The Raw Truth About Work-Life Balance. She lives with her family in Monterey County. MONTEREY BAY PARENT • june 2020
PEBBLE BEACH GRADES 9–12 DAY & B OA R D I N G
A SELECTIVE SCHOOL FOR COLLEGE-BOUND B O A R D I N G A N D D AY S T U D E N T S
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Let the Summer Fun Begin Fun new products that will make summer playtime even better. Squishy Water Beads Science Lab Learn about the characteristics of gases, liquids and solids while creating a squishy stress ball, a scented mini mood lamp, and a calming mood tube with Squishy Water Beads Science Lab! $34.99, ages 5+, hand2mind.com
By Elena Epstein Director of the National Parenting Product Awards
Rainbow Ring Play Center Transform your backyard into a water park. Includes a slide, wading pool, water sprayer, ring toss, ball roller and toss ball games. Attaches to a garden hose to keep kids cool all summer. $54.99, ages 2+, intexcorp.com Young Explorers Adventure Climber Slide, climb, crawl and drive fun. This indoor and outdoor playset encourages children to use their imaginations while engaging in active play. $229.99, ages 1-6, simplay3.com
SwimWays Fairy Tails and Aqua Monsters Play make-believe with these magical pool toys. The fairy transforms into a mermaid and changes colors. $8.99, ages 5+, swimways.com/fairy-tails. The monsters swim erratically like real sea creatures, $14.99, ages 5+, swimways. com Globber Explorer Trike Series The 4-in-1 baby tricycle adapts as your child grows. It easily converts from a tricycle to a balance bike and includes a 5-point safety bar for added toddler security. $199.99, ages 10 months - 5 years, globber.com
Wing-A-Bubbles Dip the whimsical characters into the solution, wave and create tons of bubbles. $1.99, ages 3+, zing.toys
Light-Up Ice Hoop Take hula hooping to the next level with Light-Up Ice Hoops. Fun for kids and parents. $9.99, ages 6+, kess.co
WompleBox Travel the world from your living room with this subscription box, inspiring adventure and cultural curiosity. Includes an early-reader chapter book, fold-out map & country guide with kid-friendly recipes, craft activities, collectible items, stickers and more. $24.99/per month, ages: 6-11, womplestudios. com Micro Maxi Deluxe Scooter A three-wheeled, lean-to-steer design, offers a stable ride that supports children as they curve and carve the sidewalk. Lightweight with an adjustable T-handlebar. $139.99, ages 5-12, microkickboard.com Birdie Golf Create your own course anywhere. Set the ball on its uniquely designed, builtin “birdie-tail” stand, and F-O-R-E! The ball goes flying, and its birdie tail keeps it in play, no matter how powerful the swing! $39.99, ages 4+, hogwildtoys.com
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Use Your Head
Summer Safety
Choosing and Fitting Your Child’s Bike Helmet Kids have been sidelined from a lot of their daily activities by the Coronavirus. But one thing that is still on the “can do” list is bike riding. It’s a great way to get fresh air and exercise, and it’s easier to keep a safe distance from others on a bike than in many other sports. The most important way to keep your child safe on their bike is by wearing a properly fitted helmet every time they get on a bike. Every year 350,000 children under the age of 15 are seen in hospital emergency rooms and urgent care centers with injuries from bicycle accidents. About one-third of those visits involve head injuries. According to the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC), you can reduce your child’s risk of a serious injury by 85% by requiring them to wear a helmet every time they ride.
fits correctly and that your child knows how to correctly put it on. Helmets should never be purchased to “grow into,” and the child should be present when you are buying it so they can try several different sizes and styles to find the right fit for them. The helmet should sit on the top in a level position and should not rock forward or backward or side to side. The helmet should sit level on the head and low on the forehead— one or two finger-widths above the eyebrows. The helmet should be snug but not tight. The helmet straps must always be buckled, but not too tightly. If your child is between two sizes, choose the bigger one. Most helmets come with extra pads to help you get a good fit. Also, some helmets have a mechanism on the back of the helmet to tighten or loosen it once it’s on.
easiest way to be sure that your child always wears a helmet is to make it a hard and fast rule from the day they first get on a bike: no helmet, no riding. Do not allow exceptions and be sure you’re modeling safe behavior by wearing one every time you ride. Also, any child riding in a carrier on your bike or being towed in trailer should be wearing a helmet. While your child should always have the helmet on when riding, they should always take the helmet off before playing at the playground or climbing on trees. The straps can get caught and prevent your child from breathing.
SAFETY STANDARDS All bike helmets have to meet uniform safety standards issued by the CPSC, so the brand isn’t as important as the fit. It’s essential that the helmet
BUILD GOOD HABITS According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention only 15 percent of kids use a helmet most or all of the time when riding bikes. The
For more information on bicycle safety, visit the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration website at www.nhtsa.dot.gov/bicycles.
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KNOW WHEN TO REPLACE Replace your helmet when it has been in a crash; damage is not always visible.
MONTEREY BAY PARENT • june 2020
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Sending Your Child Back to Daycare? There are some basic precautions that can help minimize the dangers of transmission once you send your child back to daycare.
M
any Monterey Bay parents who have been working from home since we began sheltering in place in mid-March are now looking at a return to their workplaces shortly. Some have family in the area to care for their children or one parent staying at home. But for many parents, daycare or another form of childcare is a necessary component to their ability to work outside of the home. The risk to children and babies, and the role children play in transmitting COVID-19 is not yet completely clear. The rate of confirmed COVID-19 cases among children has so far been low compared to the broader population. According to the Monterey County Health Department, nine children under the age of 18 have contracted Covid-19 as of May 15. But many studies have suggested that children can be asymptomatic carriers of the coronavirus. In addition, an emerging inflammatory syndrome which may also be connected to the coronavirus is adding to parents’ worries. Pediatric inflammatory, multisystem syndrome, which appears to be related to having had COVID-19, has been diagnosed in 93 New York children and has been reported in a few other states. Overall, though, severe illness has been less frequent in children than adults with COVID-19, researchers say. Whether you’re sending your child back to the daycare they attended before or require a new center for your children; some basic precautions can help minimize the dangers of transmission.
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According to Dr. Mathew Trokel, Medical Director of Pediatric Services at MoGo Urgent Care: “While coronavirus is very transmissible and children are well known for their lack of adherence to social distancing, with just a few simple techniques, daycare centers can reduce the ability for the virus to spread within their facility.”
NEW PROCEDURES FOR CENTERS AND PARENTS
Both daycare providers and parents will need to adapt to a new set of procedures. While centers need to adopt strict new guidelines, it is equally important that parents observe the guidelines for implementation. Parents: don’t rely on the center staff to keep you up to date, ask lots of questions, and observe. They will not be offended to have you taking an active role in your child’s health and wellbeing. If they aren’t forthcoming or you see questionable behavior, you may want to consider changing providers.
household or room or been together for a while) with anyone who has a confirmed case of the coronavirus or is showing symptoms? 4 If someone in the household of you or one of your staff has recently recovered from the coronavirus, do you have proof of medical clearance? 4 Are you aware of the newest guidelines from the Monterey County Department of Health for daycare providers, and have you implemented their procedures?
WHAT TO ASK BEFORE SENDING YOUR KIDS TO DAYCARE
Care.com is advising parents to add the following questions to caregiver interviews: 4 Have you or anyone on your staff been diagnosed with the coronavirus? 4 Have you or anyone on your staff been in close contact (e.g., shared a
MONTEREY BAY PARENT • june 2020
DAYCARE SAFETY RULES q Parents should take their child’s temperature before leaving their home or upon arrival at the facility. Children with elevated temperatures–even without other symptoms–should not enter. q Parents should not be entering the facility, greetings should happen outside, and parents should use their pen to sign in their child. q The center should perform daily health checks that include taking the child’s temperature. Staff should also monitor children for shortness of breath, dry cough, gastrointestinal symptoms, or a skin rash. There should be a rapid assessment and isolation of any person who becomes ill during the day with follow-up to ensure that person stays away from the center until they have fully recovered. q The center should provide hand sanitizer or handwashing stations at the entrance, children and staff should clean their hands before entering. q There should be frequent handwashing during the day for children and staff. Dr. Trokel says: “There should be multiple opportunities for the children to wash their hands during the day, especially before eating. Under normal circumstances, children under five-years-old should not use hand sanitizers; however, during the COVID-19 outbreak, this recommendation has been amended. If no soap and water are available, all children should use hand sanitizers.“ MONTEREY BAY PARENT • june 2020
About Pediatric Inflammatory MultiSystem Syndrome
q When feasible, staff members and older children should wear face coverings within the facility. Cloth face coverings should not be put on babies under age two because of the danger of suffocation. q Regular cleaning and disinfecting of the facilities is imperative. All high-contact surfaces (tables, highchairs) should be cleaned before and after use. Childcare areas should be cleaned several times during the day and disinfected at the end of the day. Special attention should be paid to anything related to eating or drinking. q An effort should be made to circulate as much fresh air throughout the center as possible. q Snacks and meals should be individually served, and no food or utensils should be shared. q The center should consider removing some furniture from the facility and spacing what remains. It will be easier for staff to keep hard surfaces disinfected, and there is less chance for passing infection. q Children should be in small groups and assigned to one provider. If someone gets the coronavirus, the whole childcare center won’t be exposed, and it will be easier to do contact tracing. q Toys that cannot be cleaned and sanitized should not be used. q Each child’s bedding should be kept separate and stored in individually labeled bins, cubbies, or bags. Cots and mats should be labeled for each child.
On May 14, the CDC released a health advisory describing a new syndrome in children. A small subset of children who become infected with the COVID-19 virus undergo a systemic inflammatory response currently called Multisystem Inflammatory Syndrome in Children (MIS-C) or Pediatric Inflammatory Multisystem Syndrome (PMIS). This is a very rare complication and there is very little known about this disorder. Studies are currently underway to get us more information. To date, there are some case reports that have shown that: • All children present with several days of persistent fever. • Around 80% had gastrointestinal symptoms (abdominal pain >diarrhea> vomiting) • 40% had conjunctivitis (red eyes) • Other associated finding include rash, chest pain or racing heart, lethargy or confusion. If PMIS becomes a concern, the obtaining lab work is vital. While there is no specific blood test that can diagnoses PMIS, lab work is still key to understanding how your child is doing. If the lab work shows no evidence of any inflammation, then PMIS would be very unlikely. If there is evidence of inflammation, then further testing would be needed. Overall, children do well with this disorder. Of those admitted to an ICU, 30% had a mild or moderate severity of illness and 60% did not require intubation. Unfortunately, some children did become very sick requiring advanced, life saving measures including long term ventilation (up to 10 days), multi organ system failure (8%) and death (4%). As further studies become published, we will know more about this condition and our ability to test, diagnose and treat will improve. Dr. Mathew Trokel is an Emergency Department doctor at Community Hospital of the Monterey Peninsula, is medical director of pediatric services at MoGo Urgent Care, and also works for Pediatric Group of Monterey. montereybayparent.com
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Preserving Memories with a
Covid Time Capsule
major news events like 9/11, the challenger explosion, the 2008 economic recession, and now, a pandemic mark our lives. It’s a crazy time! COVID-19 is affecting almost every part of our daily life. Years from now, our children will tell their grandchildren about living through the 2020 pandemic. Eventually, it will be a distant memory even if that day seems far off. An inexpensive and fun family project that will help us remember this moment in time is building a Covid Family Time Capsule. Yes, you will have digital memories: photos and videos you’ve recorded from the past two months. But having a tangible reminder of this time is a different experience than looking at pictures or videos on your phone or iPad. The process is simple, gather items of significance to your family that will remind you of this point in time to be safely buried or stored away. Then, choose a time in the future to open the capsule as a family. Choose your container based on how you will store your time capsule. If you want to go all in, purchase a waterproof, stainless steel capsule that can be buried safely for many years (available from Amazon.com). If your capsule will reside in the attic or a storage closet, a sturdy box will suffice.
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You can exercise your creativity and decorate the container itself or simply label it “Covid-19 Time Capsule” with the date to be opened.
• Things you could include: • A “porch photo.” These photos of families assembled on their front porch or near their front door have become quite popular while we shelter at home. You can set up your phone on a timer or enlist a friend or neighbor to take the photo from a safe distance. • A newspaper. If you have a copy of the Salinas Californian or Monterey Herald from the first day of shelter in place (March 17), that would make a great addition. Or print a few of the important stories from the pandemic found on the newspaper’s website. • Journal entries or a written record of time sheltering. Ask the kids to write a short essay about what it’s been like to be at home with family 24/7. For those too young to write, ask them leading questions, and write the answers for them. Make sure mom and dad get into the act with essays of their own. Be honest–talk about the good and the bad. • Have the kids draw a map of the house. Where are they doing their
• • • •
•
• •
school work? Which room has become the office for mom or dad? Where are you gathering to play games and read? Family letters. Ask each family member to write a letter to their future self at the age they will be when the capsule is opened. Where do you hope to be, and what do you expect to be doing? A scorecard from a game you played as a family Handprint tracing of each family member A list of the shows you watched on TV A list of things you are looking forward to when the shelter in place is lifted A mask, a 6-foot piece of string (a reminder of socially distancing), a square of toilet paper, or other tangible symbols of time sheltering in place Homeschooling schedule Food delivery order sheet
A COVID time capsule is a great way to capture memories during this unprecedented time. It also serves as a useful exercise in exploring feelings and creating a space for your family members to discuss what sheltering in place has been like for each of you. MONTEREY BAY PARENT • june 2020
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Now is the time to take care of you, whether it’s braces or Invisalign® we’ve got you covered! Get your smile on with only $129 a month.
• Our #1 team goal is to provide the highest quality orthodontic
care highest in a friendly,quality fun, family-based, high-tech care practice.in a • Our #1 team goal is to provide the orthodontic • Using proven state-of-the-art technology to enhance your friendly, fun, family-based, high-tech practice. experience, I utilize the most advanced procedures and equipment available to ensure that every patient achieves I • Using proven state-of-the-art technology to enhance your experience, a healthy and beautiful smile. utilize the most advanced procedures and equipment available to en• Dr. Auger is proud to be an Elite Invisalign Provider. sure that every patient achieves a healthy and beautiful smile. ®
FREE
• Dr. Auger is proud to be an Elite Invisalign® Provider. Payments starting at
FREE
Orthodontic Consultations including X-rays Expires June 30, 2020
Orthodontic consultations Payments including X-rays starting at
129 831-373-3765 With this card. Offer expires 30 days from mailing.
$
129mo.
$
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Tim A. Auger, DMD
“Excellent staff, everyone in the “Excellent staff, everyone in the office was very friendly and office was very friendly walked felt us walked us through the entire process. and My seven-year-old very comfortable all the way through the appointment.” through the entire process. My seven— Casey Minson year-old felt very comfortable all the way through the appointment.” – Casey Minson
Call to make an appointment today!
month
Call for an appointment today!
www.AugerSmiles.com
831-373-3765
www.AugerSmiles.com MONTEREY BAY PARENT • june 2020
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Think differently? Think Chartwell. Call or email for information. We are available to answer your questions. For students in grades 2 to 12 with dyslexia and other learning differences. Admission and financial aid information available
Summer Camp now enrolling!
Visit chartwell.org For over 35 years Chartwell has been leading the way in research-based education for students with language-based learning differences.
Stop struggling. Start learning.
Chartwell School | 2511 Numa Watson Rd. | Seaside, CA 93955 admissions@chartwell.org | 831.394.3468 32
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MONTEREY BAY PARENT • june 2020
