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Ways to Grow Resilience
On 9/11/2001, I was driving to work when a radio report announced that a plane had crashed into one of the World Trade Center’s twin towers. It sounded like a terribly unfortunate accident. But when I arrived at work and a co-worker told us that a second plane had crashed into the other tower, we knew it was no accident. The news was especially gut-wrenching because I was three months pregnant. I remember telling another coworker how unsettled I was about the idea of bringing a child into a world where something as tragic and evil as 9/11 could occur. She reassured me that it was going to be OK by reminding me that she’d been pregnant during another time of national angst: the Vietnam War. And while my now 18-year-old son prepares to enter a new chapter in his life as a high school graduate during a pandemic, I’m reminded that somewhere, there’s a pregnant or new mom who might be having the same worries I did during yet another trou-
bling and uncertain time. What protects us from believing the world is a dangerous place to live when hard times strike? Resilience. And it’s something our current high school graduates have had lots of opportunity to practicing, going back as far as the womb. As they transition to adulthood, you can help them gain the skills they’ll need to flourish as adults. Fortunately, resilience is a set of skills we can be taught, says Lacie Kettelhut, trauma informed community coordinator for Gundersen Health System, who identified trauma informed care as a Population Health strategic priority in 2019. These seven valuable insights gleaned from her expertise and that of others provide clear advice in uncertain times for our newest batch of high school graduates. 1. Find healthy and supportive relationships. YOU can be the healthy and supportive relationship for your graduate. Carolyn Colleen Bostrack, author of “F.I.E.R.C.E.: Transforming Your Life in the Face of
Adversity 5 Minutes at a Time,” says that if you’re in need of your own relationship and struggling to find it, it’s OK to pick anyone positive. For instance, Oprah is one of hers. On days she struggles, she asks herself what would Oprah do. Encourage graduates to identify positive role models to emulate in your physical absence. 2. Take care of yourself. In order to be strong for others, you must first be strong for yourself. Teach your graduates to speak to themselves as they would a dear friend. Forgive others and let go. Ensure they place value on adequate sleep, good nutrition, and reliable daily routines. Live intentionally. Even using Sunday afternoons to set intentions for the coming week, however small, can help prioritize our efforts and find more meaning in life, Bostrack says. 3. Know where to find support when you need it. Where can you find support at all lev-
Is your grad armed with the protective skills needed to face life’s toughest challenges? 14
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MONTEREY BAY PARENT • june 2020
