Carolina Parent May 2019

May 2019 • Free

THE TRUTH ABOUT LYING Part 1 of a series on understanding why children lie

Finishing Strong 2 Raleigh women reinvent charm school

28 May Festivals for Families to Enjoy

Parties That Give Back Show kids it can be more fun to give than to get carolinaparent.com | MAY 2019

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YOUR ESSENTIAL EVERYDAY RESOURCES. Our award-winning monthly magazine and annual guides feature the region’s best family calendar, health and wellness information, educational features, camp and school listings, and more!

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Chapel Hill Pediatrics

&Adolescents

Welcome NEW and Established Patients • Care from birth through college

Come Celebrate your Smile with us!

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Appointment Hours Chapel Hill Office:

Martha Ann Keels, DDS PhD Dylan S. Hamilton, DMD MS

8 am - 7 pm M-F; 9 am - 2 pm Sat-Sun

Durham Office: 8 am - 5 pm M-F

We Welcome New Patients!!

2711 North Duke Street Durham, NC 27704

919-220-1416

www.dukestreetsmiles.com

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919-942-4173

Check our website for holiday hours.

2 locations Chapel Hill: 205 Sage Road., Suite 100 Durham: 249 East NC Hwy 54, Suite 230

www.chapelhillpeds.com

4/17/19 1:46 PM

At UNC Physicians Network we believe exceptional health care goes beyond medical excellence. It’s about going the extra mile and providing a personalized and unique patient experience — like quality visits with our doctors, access to counseling and health care advocates, and clustered offices for convenient, whole family visits. We call ourselves a network, but we’re really a dedicated family of doctors ready to stand shoulder to shoulder with you and your loved ones to offer outstanding care and support.

Because that’s what families do.

Visit uncpn.com to find a doctor near you.

O N L IN E SCH ED UL IN G AVAIL ABL E | UN CP N .COM

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VOLUME 31, NUMBER 5

CONTENTS MAY 2019

14 FEATURES

LYING LYING

LYING

14

THE TRUTH ABOUT LYING Understand why children lie and what to do when it becomes a problem

20 PARTIES THAT GIVE BACK Show children it can be more fun to give than to get

18

FINISHING STRONG Two Raleigh women tackle the confidence gap by reinventing the concept of charm school

28 VOTE FOR YOUR 2019 READERS’ FAVORITES Tell us your favorite places to play, shop, do business and dine

18

20

28

12

26

32

34

IN EVERY ISSUE 5

May Online

COLUMNS

CALENDAR

6

Editor’s Note

23 Growing Up

34 Our Picks

40 Faces and Places

24 Oh, Baby!

35 Festivals

FYI

26 Understanding Kids

36 Daily

8

Community

29 Father Figuring

9

Education

30 Tech Talk

10 Health 12

Style

31

College Transitions

32 Excursion

carolinaparent.com | MAY 2019

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June 17 to July 26, 2019 PreK - High School

Digital impressions with our iTero scanner. No goop and uncomfortable traditional trays required.

Schedule your free consult today!

Text or call 919.303.4557

Sum@mer

All-girl and coed programs

919-424-4028 • WWW.SMS.EDU/SUMMER 4

MAY 2019 | carolinaparent.com

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Background image courtesy of Azret Ayubov/Shutterstock.com. Party whistles courtesy of Elena Schweitzer/Shutterstock.com. Party hat courtesy of Joe Belanger/Shutterstock.com.

PEACE OUT GUNK.

Residential & Day Camps

ONLINE

Background image courtesy of Azret Ayubov/Shutterstock.com. Party whistles courtesy of Elena Schweitzer/Shutterstock.com. Party hat courtesy of Joe Belanger/Shutterstock.com.

Party Planning Fun Party Games

Party Planning Directory

Try one of these games at your child’s next birthday party. carolinaparent.com/birthday-partygames-kids-will-love

Browse our extensive directory of local party planning vendors. carolinaparent.com/cp/ party-planning

Party Vendors Check out who made our 2018 Readers’ Favorites list. (By the way, 2019 voting is now open!) carolinaparent.com/cp/carolina-parent2018-readers-favorites-parties

Tea Party Fun Read tips for planning the perfect tea party. carolinaparent.com/cp/three-tiers-for-tea

Win Prizes Enter to win prizes all month long! carolinaparent.com/cp/contests

Connect with us online:

facebook.com/ carolinaparent

twitter.com/ carolinaparent

pinterest.com/ carolinaparent

instagram.com/ carolinaparent

carolinaparent.com | MAY 2019

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EDITOR'S NOTE

Lies, Lies, Lies

W

morrismedianetwork.com

PUBLISHER

Katie Reeves · katie.reeves@morris.com

EDITOR

e all lie. Often, we tell “white lies” in an

Beth Shugg · bshugg@carolinaparent.com

effort to protect another from hurt

ASSOCIATE EDITOR

Janice Lewine · jlewine@carolinaparent.com

feelings — or to simply make small talk.

ART DIRECTOR

Less often, we tell lies to cover up poor decisions

Sean W. Byrne · seanwbyrne.com

DIGITAL CONTENT DIRECTOR

or embarrassing, immoral or illegal behavior.

Andy Smith · andy.smith@morris.com

Our kids are listening. We may fool them

DIGITAL AND SOCIAL MEDIA SPECIALIST

when we lie, but they also learn how to lie from

Lauren Isaacs · lisaacs@carolinaparent.com

INTERN

us. There’s a difference between telling a white lie, and lying to hurt someone or damage their

presents for the birthday boy or girl, they bring

reputation. In part one of a two-part series we’re

a donation for a charitable organization, or

publishing this month, discover why children lie

participate in a charitable service project during

and how to determine if their lying is becoming

the party.

a problem worthy of your attention in “The Truth About Lying” on page 14 by Caitlin Wheeler.

Raising morally conscious children remains a

Our May columns address instilling self-care habits in children (page 23); whether baby walkers, exersaucers and jumpers help babies

tenant of good parenting. Finishing or “charm”

walk (page 24); how parents should handle

schools, which originated in Switzerland in the

lying (page 26); messages from a “manner-less”

late 1800s and peaked in popularity during

father (page 29); the social media app your

the 1920s, focused on teaching young women

high schooler should be using (page 30); why

social graces and upperclass cultural rites in

students should consider majoring in artificial

preparation for their entry into society. The

intelligence (page 31); and planning a trip to

popularity of these schools declined during

Ocracoke Island (page 32). Also, discover 28

the 1960s and peaked again during the 1990s.

family-friendly May festivals in our calendar

Now, the concept is making a comeback in

section, which begins on page 34.

the Triangle in the form of The Beam School.

Our 2019 Readers’ Favorites voting is

Find out how two Raleigh women are taking

underway right now, and you can win great

a modern-day approach to “charm” school in

prizes for voting in 15 or more categories. Go to

“Finishing Strong” by Addie Ladner on page 18.

carolinaparent.com/2019readersfavoritesvoting

We also focus on party planning in our May

through May 31 to vote for your favorite places

issue each year. Discover the benefits of hosting

to play, dine, shop and explore. On page 28,

a “giving back” party for your child in “Parties That

you’ll find a list of categories to vote for.

Give Back” by Mandy Howard on page 20. The concept here is that instead of guests bringing

Summer is just around the corner. Get outside and enjoy the last few weeks of spring!

Beth

Audrey Payne · apayne@carolinaparent.com

MEDIA CONSULTANTS

Candi Griffin • cgriffin@carolinaparent.com Sue Chen • schen@carolinaparent.com

ADVERTISING SALES COORDINATOR Julianne Clune · julianne.clune@morris.com

MORRIS VISITOR PUBLICATIONS PRESIDENT

DONNA KESSLER

DIRECTOR OF MANUFACTURING DONALD HORTON

DIRECTOR OF PUBLISHING SERVICES KAREN FRALICK

PRODUCTION COORDINATOR CHER WHEELER

CONTACT US

carolinaparent.com Phone: 919-956-2430 · Fax: 919-956-2427 5716 Fayetteville Rd., Suite 201, Durham, NC 27713 advertising@carolinaparent.com · editorial@carolinaparent.com Circulation 35,000. Distribution of this magazine does not constitute an endorsement of information, products or services.

Carolina Parent reserves the right to reject any advertisement or listing that is not in keeping with the publication’s standards.

Copyright 2019. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part without written permission is prohibited.

A Publication of the Visitor Publications Division of Morris Communications Company, L.L.C. 725 Broad St., Augusta, GA 30901 Chairman President & CEO William S. Morris III William S. Morris IV

Beth Shugg, Editor

Editor’s photo courtesy of Morton Photography.

Cover photo courtesy of Brian A. Jackson/istockphoto.com.

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MAY 2019 | carolinaparent.com

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FYI

BY JANICE LEWINE

Photos courtesy of The Salvation Army of Wake County

The Carolina Hurricanes Foundation awarded grants totaling $450,000 to 25 local nonprofits and youth hockey organizations in North Carolina during the 2018-19 season. The Foundation issued 13 Game Changer Grants, totaling $150,000, to the Durham Arts Council, Flashes of Hope, Museum of Life and Science and Youth Thrive at the $5,000 level; Boys and Girls Homes of North Carolina, Inter-Faith Food Shuttle, Chatham Education Foundation and Frankie Lemmon School & Developmental Center at the $10,000 level; Diaper Bank of NC, Kesem, Marbles Kids Museum and Note in the Pocket at the $15,000 level; and Miracle League of the Triangle at the $30,000 level.

Future Canes Grants, which are provided to grow the sport of hockey throughout North Carolina, totaled $100,000 and were awarded to eight youth hockey organizations: Cape Fear Youth Hockey Association, Coastal Carolina Hockey Association, Greensboro

Girl Scout Offers Sweet Treat to Raleigh’s Homeless Community Girl Scouts are known for their outstanding character and unwavering resolve to make the world a better place. Lauren Lennon, a local 6-year-old Girl Scout, recently gave away more than $324 worth of Girl Scout cookies to Raleigh’s homeless community at the Judy D. Zelnak Center of Hope. Lauren, who had lost a front tooth, asked the tooth fairy for $100 so she could purchase the cookies for less fortunate individuals. The tooth fairy complied, and social media users who learned of Lauren’s intention contributed $200 so she could buy additional cookie boxes. Lauren and her mother Bridget distributed the cookies on March 27, which put many smiles on the faces of those in need.

Learn more at wakearmy.org.

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Logos courtesy of the National Hockey League

Carolina Hurricanes Foundation Donates $450,000 in Grants

Youth Hockey Association, Raleigh Youth Hockey Association, Triad Hockey Alliance, Triangle Special Hockey Association, Triangle Youth Hockey of North Carolina and WinstonSalem Youth Hockey Association.

GOAL (Growing Opportunities and Leaders) grants are distributed in $50,000 increments for a total of $150,000 over three years to four organizations. The Green Chair project is in its first year of funding, Families Moving Forward is in its second year of funding, and both Read and Feed and StepUp Ministry are in their third and final year of funding. Learn more at nhl.com/hurricanes/community/ foundation/grants.

Empty Bowls Raises $129,000 to Fight Homelessness in Durham Urban Ministries of Durham raised $129,000 at Empty Bowls 2019, its signature event that raises money to provide food, shelter and case management for the city’s homeless community.

Attendees enjoyed soup creations from 15 local restaurants, catering services and a food truck on March 7 at the Durham Convention Center.

MEZ Contemporary Mexican won the Judges’ Award and the Durham Convention Center

earned top honors in the People’s Choice voting.

Attendees who purchased certain tickets took home a locally crafted bowl made of clay or wood as a reminder of the needs of others in the community. Learn more at umdurham.org.

U.S. HOMELESSNESS STATISTICS

180,143

The number of people in families without a home.

33%

The percentage of families that comprise the homeless population.

Photo courtesy of Urban Ministries of Durham

COMMUNITY

16,000+

The estimated number of people who live on a street, in a car or in another place not meant for human habitation.

SOURCE: The National Alliance to End Homelessness (endhomelessness.org)

MAY 2019 | carolinaparent.com

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FYI

Photo courtesy of Urban Ministries of Durham

4 Educators Named First-Year Teachers of the Year in WCPSS Every year, Wake County Public School System honors a group of outstanding teachers with the Diane Kent-Parker First-Year Teacher Award.

These teachers are recognized for navigating the challenges of a new job with grace, skill and confidence. They serve as role models for their colleagues and inspiration for their students.

Principals can nominate any teacher who has made significant professional success in his or her initial year of teaching. Selection committee members review portfolios from nominees and observe them in their classrooms. Based on this rigorous selection process, the following teachers have received the 2018-19 Diane Kent-Parker First-Year Teacher Award: Cristina Chase Lane of Reedy Creek Elementary School, Caroline Markoch of Ligon Magnet Middle School, Joshua Heaney of Rolesville High School and Rachel Goudeau of Salem Elementary School. These remarkable educators were recognized in their nominations for their rapport with students and coworkers, innovation, and ability to motivate perseverance in students.

EDUCATION

Leigh Kokenes Named National School Psychologist of the Year Earlier this year, the National Association of School Psychologists named Leigh Kokenes, M. Ed., NCSP, the 2019 School Psychologist of the Year at its annual convention in Atlanta. Kokenes provides school psychological services for students at Lynn Road Elementary School and West Millbrook Middle School, both in Raleigh.

She advocates for comprehensive services, increased access to mental health services, proportionate staffing, and efforts to support recruitment and retention of school psychologists — all to help improve outcomes for children, families and schools.

Kokenes was selected as School Psychologist of the Year in 2016 by WCPSS and the North Carolina School Psychologist of the Year in 2017. She currently serves as a member of North Carolina Gov. Roy Cooper’s Commission on Access to Sound Basic Education. She has a background in special education and early intervention, with experience working in public schools and early intervention and community mental health settings.

Photo courtesy of WCPSS

Logos courtesy of the National Hockey League

BY KAREN SHORE

“School psychologists like Leigh are integral members of our school communities,” says WCPSS Director of School Psychology Heather Boling. “The wide range of expertise that school psychologists have in the areas of mental health, learning, and behavior help our students succeed academically, socially, behaviorally and emotionally.”

Area High School Students Compete in Statewide Poetry Recitation Contest Several local students competed with other students from across the state in Greensboro for the annual statewide Poetry Out Loud competition.

Before the finals, more than 65 schools participated in Poetry Out Loud, which consisted of classroom lessons, classroom competitions and district competitions taking place last fall. Students from these schools vied to make it to the state semifinals and finals in February.

“Poetry Out Loud has inspired thousands of high school students across North Carolina to discover and develop deep, Poetry Out Loud runner-up Jamilla Rahim of Durham (left) stands with state champion Lillian Hawkins of New Hanover County (right). Photo courtesy of the North Carolina Arts Council

personal relationships with great classic and contemporary poetry,” says Sharon Hill, Arts in Education director for the North Carolina Arts Council. “The state finals are a unique opportunity for students to work with renowned poets and educators from across the state while they network with their peers.”

The winner of the competition was Lillian Hawkins of New Hanover County, and the runner-up was Jamilla Rahim of Durham School of the Arts. Other area participants included Daisy Goldston and Halden Levin from Durham County; Seth Mabry from Johnston County; and Kiara Bush, Nalaya Giraud and Alexander Williams from Wake County.

The winner and first runner-up each received cash awards and funds for their school’s library. carolinaparent.com | MAY 2019

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FYI

BY KATHERINE KOPP Image courtesy of 123design/Shutterstock.com

HEALTH

Party Health and Safety If you’re planning a birthday party or other event this spring, here are some tips from Allstate Insurance Company’s blog to keep your guests safe and healthy.

Food Safety

Photo courtesy of wavebreakmedia/Shutterstock.com

• Food allergies are quite common in children, and food poisoning can be a problem at birthday parties, too. Make make sure all food is cooked thoroughly, and cover and refrigerate food and drinks until children are ready to eat.

• Ask parents to inform you of any food allergies when they RSVP for your child’s birthday party.

• Ask that parents of children with food allergies bring an EpiPen in preparation for accidental allergic reactions.

Activity Safety

• If you offer a piñata as part of the party entertainment, designate a space far enough away from the piñata for guests to sit or stand in while watching the person “up at bat,” so there is no chance of innocent bystanders getting hit by the stick.

• If you rent a jump castle and/or moon bounce for your child’s party, be sure to work with a reputable company and ask to see safety certificates for the company’s equipment. Limit the number of children who can be inside the unit at one time, and make sure they aren’t wearing belts, shoes or jewelry that could cause an injury.

Prohibit food and drink inside the unit, since spillage could make the area slippery.

Learn more at allstate.com/blog/ten-safetytips-for-your-childs-next-birthday-party.

Image courtesy of K-D-uk/Shutterstock.com

• Balloons are a common choking hazard.

Good supervision and use of foil balloons instead of latex can help prevent choking hazards. Also avoid offering party favors with small parts, such as marbles or cars with wheels.

• Hot dogs are the top cause of food‑related choking in children. Hard candy, gum and marshmallows are other common risks for choking. Be cautious if you serve any of these foods.

BY THE NUMBERS:

13.2%

The percentage of adolescents reporting symptoms consistent with major depression in the last 12 months, an increase of 52% from the 2005 rate of 8.7%.

Source: Journal of Abnormal Psychology | apa.org/pubs/journals/releases/abn-abn0000410.pdf

100,000

The number of injuries caused by trampolines every year. Children younger than age 6 are at the greatest risk for injury. The American Academy of Pediatrics does not recommend the use of home trampolines.

SOURCE: healthychildren.org | healthychildren.org/english/safety-prevention/at-play/pages/trampolines-what-you-need-to-know.aspx

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Katherine Kopp is a freelance writer in Chapel Hill.

MAY 2019 | carolinaparent.com

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Image courtesy of 123design/Shutterstock.com

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Image courtesy of K-D-uk/Shutterstock.com

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FYI STYLE

BY HELEN BANZET WALLACE

FUN AND FUNCTIONAL KIDS’ STYLES It’s particularly exciting to highlight two made‑in‑North Carolina brands this month, along with one very familiar big brand.

OLIVE + LOU Shop for simple, comfortable and effortless girls dresses and rompers. Wash, wear, repeat.

Available in sizes 2T-6Y. $22-$45 | oliveandlou.com @oliveandlouclothing on Instagram RISE & RAMBLE MINI EDITION Dress your little one in soft, breathable 100% cotton that has been naturally dyed using gifts from Mother Nature. Available in sizes 2T-6T. $18 separate and $32 as a pair riseandramble.com @riseandramble on Instagram

Photos courtesy of the respective brands

ART CLASS BY TARGET Target’s exclusive fashion-forward Art Class kids’ collection has expanded its line this spring to include toddler sizes. Available in sizes 12M-5T. Most pieces cost less than $13 | target.com $18 separate and $32 as a pair | riseandramble.com @riseandramble on Instagram

Helen Banzet Wallace is a freelance writer, fashion blogger and mom. Her work has appeared in local and regional publications.

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MAY 2019 | carolinaparent.com

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Photo by Armes Photography

MAY

ACCEPTING STUDENTS AGES 6 TO ADULT!

CLASSES BEGIN M O N DAY

SEPTEMBER 9TH

REGISTRATION IS NOW OPEN!

Visit www.carolinaballet.com to register and view class schedules, fees, faculty and information.

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Classes taught by Professional and experienced Carolina Ballet Faculty and Dancers. Ballet Technique, Variations, Pointe and Pas de Deux.

Contemporary and Hip-Hop offered as well.

Come join our Adult drop-in classes!

CLASSES HELD AT CAROLINA BALLET STUDIOS:

Enter to Win a Triangle Rock Club Birthday Party When kids climb, they stretch their physical and mental capabilities in innovative ways, and enrich their overall lives through strengthened character, confidence and courage.

Triangle Rock Club, which has locations in Raleigh, Morrisville, Fayetteville, Richmond (Virginia) and soon, Durham, would love to offer your child and seven of his or her friends the thrill of rock climbing via a birthday party package for up to eight people at either the Morrisville or Raleigh location.

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Enter to win by going to carolinaparent.com/cp/contests and clicking on the “Triangle Rock Club” post.

Type this code in the online form you’ll be required to fill out: CPRockClimber.

We’ll announce a winner May 24, 2019.

Good luck!

carolinaparent.com | MAY 2019

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THE

T RU T H

Photo courtesy of Len4foto/Shutterstock.com

ABOUT

LYING

BY CAITLIN WHEELER

This is part one of a two-part series on

THE PSYCHOLOGY OF LYING

understanding why children (and adults)

“Lying is an example of conflict resolution

have to take advantage of the fact that when

lie, and how to determine if your child is

at a high level,” says Henry Yin, a research

you lie, there is always a conflict in the brain.

lying habitually as part of a developing

neuroscientist for the Duke Institute for Brain

Telling the truth is natural, he says.

personality disorder.

Sciences at Duke University. “First you have to

“When I ask you how much money you

L

So, Yin says, in order to study lying, you

know the truth. Then you have to understand

make, the truth pops up in your head along

ying is an innate talent. It is a

the alternatives. Then you have to make a

with a distinct set of neurological signals,” he

developmental milestone, the sign

choice and take action.”

says. “However, you might feel like you have

of a maturing intellect, and a natural means of self-protection. People lie all

Yin is interested in the mechanisms

to lie to impress me, and you might activate a

of the brain’s underlying behavior, and is

second representation in your brain. In order

the time: Sometimes to cover a crime (even

making breakthroughs in his lab using

to be a good liar, you have to resolve these

if it’s just drinking your husband’s coffee),

neurotechnology to map neurons associated

conflicting images and suppress the truth.”

sometimes to feel better (about your weight

with simple behaviors in rodents. He says

or age) and sometimes to make someone

that in psychology, purpose and intention

else feel better (telling your aunt her pot

are the most important concepts. “Unless we

roast is delicious).

trust that someone is telling us the truth, then

success in identifying brain cells associated

behavior is highly ambiguous,” Yin says. “The

with a specific rodent behavior — making

question is, how to get beyond ambiguity?”

a left turn, for example. So far, his research

Lying is related to what you actually

has been limited to physical action, but he

As a parent, how do you ensure your child does not misuse this very human “skill”? How do you help your child

It is a skill like any other, he says, and the more you practice the better you will be.

Professor Yin is most excited about his

understand the difference between lies that

want, Yin says. This can be hard to read

believes he’ll find neurological connections for

might be considered socially appropriate,

sometimes, especially in young children, who

cognitive behavior as well. And then? Well, it’s

and lies that definitely are not? And if these

are not expert communicators; and in teens,

only a matter of time before Yin will be able to

lies are not “acceptable,” what help can you

who are just figuring out who they are and

pop an electrode on your child’s temple and

provide your child?

what they want.

tell you if she’s telling the truth.

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THE SOCIAL RULES OF LYING

Motivation for lying may also shift as kids

Janet Schwartz, an experimental psychologist

THEY DO IT

get older. In addition to looking for a certain

at the Center for Advanced Hindsight at Duke

It’s one thing to become jaded to prevaricating

outcome, such as avoiding punishment,

University, describes lying as an “important

politicians in Washington D.C., but quite

they might experience a dopamine surge at

ability” with certain benefits.

another to face down your guilty 4-year-old. If

successfully duping an authority figure. “This

“You can use lying to motivate yourself on

lying is perfectly natural and everybody does

may start to happen with teens, or even in the

a tough morning, like telling yourself you look

it, how do we convince our children to tell the

tween years,” Charguia says. “They start to feel

great when you know you’ve looked better,”

truth? The key is to be ready, as the best time

good about exercising power.”

she says. “You can use it to smooth out social

to deal with lying is the first time it happens.

situations, like breaking a dinner date by

“It’s great if you can catch them in the

STRATEGIES FOR DEALING WITH LIES

claiming a headache when really something

first moments and help them recognize the

The simplest method for instilling truth-

better has come up. It allows you to get what

dangers of lying early,” Schwartz says.

telling habits in your child is to set a good

you want without hurting feelings.”

Photo courtesy of Len4foto/Shutterstock.com

CHILDREN AND LYING: WHEN AND WHY

Lying is entrenched in our society. It is not

A precocious child might start telling lies as young as age 2, says Kristen Wynns,

example. “It’s hard to teach children not to lie if you lie a lot,” Wynns says.

a question of “whether” but of “how much” to

a Cary psychologist specializing in children

lie. “Research shows that there are not just a

and families. She says it’s just as common to

If it is a white lie, then it is an excellent

few people who lie a lot,” Schwartz says. “The

start lying at age 3 or 4, and that while lying

opportunity to teach your child how you feel

key is that everybody lies, but typically only a

is a sign of developing cognitive flexibility,

about socially acceptable, “kind” lies. If you

little bit.”

early lying is not necessarily a sign of greater

decide to discuss white lies, Wynns suggests

intellectual ability.

emphasizing that white lies are only used

She cites a study in which subjects were given a math test of 10 very simple problems,

“It’s the moment they start to realize that

What if your child catches you in a lie?

for the sake of politeness in order to spare

but not given enough time to finish them.

parents can’t read their minds,” Wynns says.

someone else’s feelings. She warns that “it can

At the end, they were told to write down the

“It becomes an experiment: If I say this, what

be a real challenge” to make this distinction

number of problems they got right, and that

is going to happen?”

while you’re trying to instill a moral compass

for every correct answer they would receive a

At this age, Wynns says, behavior is

in a child at the same time.

dollar. Since study administrators supposedly

shaped by reward and punishment. The main

If your child catches you in a real lie,

did not look at the papers and shredded them

motivation for lying is to get an extra reward,

let it be a conversation-starter. Take full

after the test, the subjects had the opportunity

to get out of trouble or to get attention. “I

responsibility for the lie and show your child

to secretly lie about the number of problems

hear a lot of parents who say their child is

that you are trying to mitigate any damage

they got right and get more money.

‘manipulative’ and will do anything to get

caused by it.

“Almost everyone cheated,” Schwartz says. “Only a few claimed to get all 10 correct, but most people bumped up their

what they want,” Wynns says. “Kids at this age are simply outcome-driven.”

These kids may understand the practical

Just as Yin emphasizes the centrality of motivation to the study of psychology, Wynns suggests parents figure out the motive

scores by two. Just enough so that they got

consequences of their lies, and they will

the benefits of lying without feeling bad

remember if they come away with an extra

about themselves.”

cookie or a timeout, but, says Nadia Charguia,

correspondingly different ways to address the

a psychiatrist at UNC School of Medicine, they

behavior,” she says. This is called a behavioral

Outside of psychological studies, Schwartz

behind their child’s lie.

“There are some basic reasons kids lie, and

notes that the prevalence of fake news or

won’t philosophically understand the difference

politicians caught lying is nothing new.

approach, in which parents look at the

between right and wrong until age 7 or 8 at the

function of their child’s behavior and, once

earliest — sometimes not until age 9 or 10.

they determine the function, focus on an

“With today’s technology, it is just harder to hide,” she says. Conversely, technology

As kids move through elementary to

appropriate intervention.

may also make lying easier — especially

middle school, parents sometimes see an

for teens since they communicate so much

increase in lying, Wynns says. “There’s just a

you should ignore it or redirect the child.

through their phones. Schwartz notes that it

lot more going on academically and socially,

Help them find ways of getting attention in a

is certainly easier to shoot off a quick lie in a

from turning in homework, to following rules

pro-social way,” Wynns says. “If they are lying

text than it is to formulate a lie while staring at

— not only in the classroom but in their social

to get out of trouble, help them develop skills

someone fac to face.

lives, and online as well.”

to deal with their own misbehavior. They

“If the child is just seeking attention, then

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need to know how to take responsibility for their mistakes. Finally, talk about the

consequences of lying and the impact it has on relationships.”

With teens, safety may be a primary

no need to worry about a young child

concern. Again, it is vital to be open to

with a healthy imagination), or if a child’s

conversation. Make it clear to your teen that

lying opens himself or herself up to other

safety is your top priority, and that there are

problems like anxiety and depression.

When a child lies to hide misbehavior,

times where you want her to be able to tell

Wynns recommends treating it as a separate

the truth without worrying about getting

constitutes the truth, you should seek help,”

issue with its own additional consequence.

punished for her behavior.

she says.

For example, if a child lies about hitting her

“When I was a teen, it was always very

“Certainly, if they seem cloudy on what

Charguia points out that pathological

brother, punish her once for hitting and

clear that if I was in trouble I could call and

lying is “definitely a separate issue” from the

once for lying. On the other hand, if the

my parents would come and pick me up

typical lying children do.

child is forthcoming with the truth of her

and take me home, and there would be no

misdeed, you might consider making the

consequences,” Schwartz says.

punishment less severe.

While Charguia also emphasizes the

Often, if you bring up lying with teens,

“Compulsive or habitual lying is when a child lies all the time and the lies are very extreme,” she explains, noting that extreme

they will ask: “Don’t you trust me?” “It’s

lying can be symptomatic of a more serious

importance of discovering a child’s motive for

a delicate balance, but it has nothing to

personality disorder. “Lying is a defense

lying, she takes a slightly different approach.

do with trust,” Charguia says. “You can

mechanism,” she says. “If a child doesn’t

trust your child and still have concerns

have the defenses to cope with a situation,

she says. Rather than concentrate on

about their well-being. Make it a positive

their defenses run higher and you may see

punishing an action, Charguia suggests

rather than a negative. Shift the weight

an increase in lying.”

rewarding positive behavior and creating

of your message. Elicit conversation and

an open atmosphere for identifying feelings

understanding.”

“I like to focus on ‘positive parenting’,”

and talking through situations to identify

Another example of putting safety ahead

She adds that pathological lying is not considered a unique disorder, but has been associated with attention deficit

motivation. “There is usually a reason your

of lying is when you suspect a teen might

hyperactivity disorder and personality

child has acted,” she says. “Different lies

be hurting himself and lying to cover it

disorders such as antisocial personality

have different meaning and consequences,

up. “What do you care about the lie in this

disorder, borderline personality disorder,

so you don’t want to generalize.”

case?” Charguia says. “You care about the

and other disorders characterized by a

safety of the child. Let the child know that

lack of empathy and a disregard for other

to take a step back before reacting to a

you’re available, that you’ll listen without

people’s feelings.

child’s lie.

accusing. Hopefully, this will lead to an

Charguia says it’s important for parents

“Don’t let yourself get upset. If you

ability to share.”

shout, “Never lie to Mommy!” then you will just trigger avoidance.”

If you do get upset, she suggests that you look carefully at your emotional response.

The significance of disregarding other people’s feelings is key as you figure out how to parent around the issue of lying,

WHEN TO SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP While lying is very common among

Schwartz says.

“You have to set up your own rules for

children and teens, you might want to seek

what is okay, and then you have to help your

“Ask yourself why you’re so upset. Often,

professional help if your child suddenly

child navigate the social world in a way that

parents interpret a child’s lying as proof of

starts lying more frequently, or if her lies

helps them and doesn’t hurt other people,”

their own inadequacy as a parent. They feel

cause distress amongst her friends — in the

she says.

shame, maybe for choices they’ve made,

classroom at school, or within the family.

In part two of this series, which will

like working full-time or permitting a lot of

“Once you’ve tried to address the problem

appear in our June issue, we’ll delve deeper

screen time. Instead, maybe the child was

at home and you feel you’re not getting

into pathological lying and explore how

just hungry. Figure out what they are trying

anywhere, then get outside help,” Wynns says.

it may be connected to a developing

to get with this behavior or action. Consider

A therapist will work with the child alone and

personality disorder in children and teens,

what needs are not being met.”

will also help parents develop a strategy for

and what parents should do if it is.

Otherwise, she says, parents often fall into a pattern of punishing for each

dealing with the behavior at home.

Charguia notes that a red flag should

Caitlin Wheeler is a Parenting Media

individual lie and never addressing the

pop up if you notice your child struggling

Association award-winning freelance writer

underlying problem.

with distinguishing lies from reality (though

who lives in Durham.

16

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Photos courtesy of Elena Caron

Finishing Strong Raleigh women tackle the confidence gap by reinventing charm school

BY ADDIE LADNER

“Good manners reflect something from the inside — an innate sense of consideration for others and respect for self.” — Emily Post

T

he phrase “confidence gap”

A group of Raleigh women have come

Switzerland’s Finishing School,” written

is a common one, with an

together to do something about this by

by Haig Simonian for the Sept. 30, 2010

alarming number of studies and

launching Beam School, an eight-week

edition of Financial Times, their popularity

statistics that speak to it. One,

program for girls ages 12-15. BEAM stands

began to decline during the 1960s as

in particular, from the best-selling book,

for the school’s reminder for all women to

conceptions of women’s role in society

“The Confidence Code for Girls” by Katty

BE who I AM.

began to shift — and due to succession

Kay and Claire Shipman (HarperCollins

Finishing or “charm” schools, which

2018), presents research revealing that

originated in Switzerland in the late 1800s

run schools. Charm schools experienced

females increasingly lose confidence by

and peaked in popularity during the

a revival during the 1990s, although their

upwards of 30 percent as they approach

1920s, focused on teaching young women

business model had radically changed.

adolescence, and a lack of self-assurance

social graces and upper-class cultural

Nearly 100 years after the peak of

can weigh them down by the time they

rites in preparation for their entry into

charm school, Beam School co-founders

reach adulthood.

society. According to “Charm Academy:

Emma Carter and Claire Roberts, who

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issues related to these typically family-

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both have backgrounds in beauty and

and a soccer ball. The purpose of this

the teen years and drawing them in with

fashion, are reinventing this traditional

project is to encourage the idea that in

beauty, they can utilize teaching what’s on

concept yet again. Their hope is that by

order for participants to find confidence

the inside.”

participating in Beam School courses,

within themselves, they must know

students will not fall victim to the

themselves first.

confidence gap.

“Charm school sounds like putting on a front and that’s what it used to be,” Carter says.

“We want real connections made in our courses,” Roberts says.

Because of this, the school’s motto is:

Photos courtesy of Elena Caron

“Cultivating inner and outer style.” The

“Girls reject being told what to do,”

THINKING OUTSIDE OF THE SCREEN Weiss wants to help encourage these

Carter says. “We’re not putting them in a

lessons through her contributions to the

box, we want them to be comfortable.”

Beam School’s curriculum.

There are challenges with any schooling

“I’m hoping I can impart that there’s

of this sort, especially during the often-

a possibility of a little bit of a fuller

rocky tween and teen years, but Roberts

experience,” she says. “Don’t let your phone

says the girls have been “much more

and social media be in charge of you; don’t

engaged than expected.”

let a device cloud who you are as a person.”

program focuses on myriad aspects in

Admittedly, Carter and Roberts have

a young female’s life, from social media

observed that participants are most excited

importance of human-to-human

best practices and conversation skills, to

about the course’s beauty lessons —

exchanges and encourage girls to rethink

makeup tricks and dressing for her body

makeup and hairstyling tutorials — which

how often they should be behind a screen.

type. There’s even a lesson on handwriting

they plan to use to their advantage to teach

thank-you notes.

the girls other, more serious, elements of

way we interact,” she says. “We need to

the program.

find a structure to that so we can protect

ENVISIONING EXCELLENCE

“We’re still advocating for traditional

Weiss plans to communicate the

“The digital world is affecting every

human interaction.”

To set the tone for and focus on

social grace, but adding tough topics like

individuality, girls create vision boards

social media and real-versus-fake imagery

today’s modern tech world, but worries about

during the first day of class. They make

on the web,” Carter says.

its overuse and impact on mental health.

collages filled with images of concepts

Natalie Weiss, a course contributor

Weiss recognizes the benefits and needs of

“Obviously they need to be with

that spark joy. Seven teenage girls

who is a local graphic designer working in

technology, but my fear is how to be

recently sat in Carter’s studio during class

mainstream media, is passionate about social

without it,” she says.

and poured through stacks of magazines

graces and real-life human interactions.

to identify and cut out some of those

“Claire and Emma are using the outer

Encouraging fuller life experiences so participants become part of a community

images for their vision boards. Some

beauty aspect to utilize the girls’ inner

is one of the Beam School’s most

consisted of sunny beaches, fresh fruit,

skills and inner beauty,” Weiss says. “I

important objectives.

sundresses and bright red lips. Another

truly think that’s the core mission of Beam

displayed female athletes, Paris in winter

School: The hope that by starting with

Another objective is to emphasize the importance of sisterhood, of which the elephant symbolizes. Beam School participants receive a small elephant charm at the end of the course as a reminder of what they’ve learned, and that they should carry that wisdom with them into adulthood. An image of this animal appears on every page of the program’s curriculum book.

“It’s not survival of the fittest,” Carter says. “Female elephants march to the beat of the most vulnerable.”

Addie Ladner lives in Raleigh with her husband, two young children and beagle mix. carolinaparent.com | MAY 2019

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Photos courtesy of the Amos family and Skodonnell/istockphoto.com

Parties That Give Back Show children it can be more fun to give than to get

BY MANDY HOWARD

A

child’s birthday ushers in myriad

“I really wanted to give AJ the

NOT WITHOUT CHALLENGE

emotions. Birthday parties

opportunity to stop counting what was

Katie and Jason Weeks have always

should be joyful occasions filled

coming in and instead realize what he

enjoyed hosting parties. When they

with love and nostalgia, but can

already had,” she says. “A real moment of

celebrate their children’s birthdays,

unfortunately turn stressful when planning

awareness came when I asked how upset

they look forward to surrounding their

the details of how to celebrate. Should you

he would be if his grandmother didn’t

kids with friends. They don’t look

rent a venue or host the party at home?

bring his annual handmade, requested-

forward to adding dozens of new toys

Invite the whole class, or just a few close

themed, gigantic birthday cake. The hurt

to their children’s collection. So, from

friends? What kind of entertainment and

of that disappointment far exceeded the

the beginning, the Weeks decided their

party favors will you offer? And how will

pain of not getting another set of Legos.”

children’s parties would evolve around

you handle gifts?

Some parents have decided enough

With that in mind, AJ asked, in lieu of

opportunities to give back.

gifts, for supplies to make “birthday kits”

For their son Ian’s third, fourth

is enough, and they’re turning party-

for Catholic Parish Outreach, the largest

and fifth birthdays, the Weeks family

planning stress into an opportunity to foster

food bank in Wake County. These kits,

collected 200 books for Book Harvest

generosity. If your child has not yet been

which include cake mix, icing, a cake

and Read and Feed, nearly 2,000 diapers

invited to a “giving back” party, chances are

tin, candles and various party favors, are

for the Dorothy Mae Hall Women’s

he or she will be before long. This trend has

provided to Catholic Parish Outreach

Center, and $600 worth of toys and art

grown in recent years as parents realize they

visitors when they have an upcoming

supplies for the Me Fine Foundation,

don’t want their children to acquire more

birthday in the family.

which provides assistance for critically

“stuff,” but do want to teach their kids to make a positive impact on the world.

“[AJ] is so lucky to have people in his life that not only can, but want to show

ill children and their families at North Carolina partner hospitals.

their love for him,” Amos says. “I wanted

Katie Weeks says these have been

LESS IS MORE

to drive it home that some people, while

joyful family experiences. But as Ian

Gabby Amos says a TV commercial

there is no less love, truly cannot provide

reached age 5, pulling off this party

inspired a “giving back” party for her

those same experiences for their children.”

concept became a tad more challenging.

9-year-old son, AJ. “The premise of the commercial was,

Amos created a SignUpGenius form

“Every year we’d host a birthday party

to ensure that appropriate amounts of

and we’d have this wonderful give-back

if someone offers you more and you don’t

each item were donated. During the

[theme] and it would be great,” she says.

take it, something is wrong with you,” Amos

party, AJ and his friends put 37 kits

“Usually, a couple people would pick up

recalls. “The idea that more is better is a

together in an assembly-line formation.

something small for Ian to open, too.”

rabbit hole for us as a society.” An employee

“I’m not a math whiz, but 37 kids having

of Catholic Charities of the Diocese of

a birthday cake is way more than one

many presents to open, and he started

Raleigh, Amos interacts with people in need

kid with a room full of unopened toys,”

noticing that his party was different from

every day.

Amos says.

others he had recently attended.

20

This year, however, Ian didn’t have

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Photos courtesy of the Amos family and Skodonnell/istockphoto.com

“It is a different conversation, and I

toward the cost of the food they packed.

time, talent and treasure is a natural

think we’re only starting to see how it’s

Her parents served pizza and cake for

progression,” she says.

going to be more difficult,” Weeks says.

Allison’s guests to enjoy after completing

She has already started thinking about

the project. It was such a success that,

Mandy Howard is a mother of three and a

how to balance out the fun of giving and

of their own volition, Allison’s friends

freelance writer in Raleigh.

receiving gifts for Ian’s sixth birthday party.

scheduled a time to come back and do it

“Maybe we’ll let people choose to either

again as a service project.

donate or give him a gift,” she says. “Or

The day after AJ’s birthday party, he and

maybe I’ll ‘plant’ a few friends and ask them

his mom volunteered together at Catholic

to bring Ian something to open.”

Parish Outreach. Amos says her mantra

PICTURED ABOVE, LEFT TO RIGHT: From the start, the Weeks family (shown in the far right photo) chose to host giving back parties for their children's birthdays. For one party, they collected diapers (shown in the left and middle photos).

Photos courtesy of the Weeks family

whenever she volunteers is, “We are lucky 50-50 Weeks may also consider a twist on the giving-back theme by hosting a “50-50”

we aren’t coming in through the front door.”

“When you view life through the paradigm of ‘I am lucky,’ then giving back

birthday party. The idea here is that guests bring a cash gift. Half of the cash goes to the child for a gift, while the other half goes to a charity of the child’s choosing.

Weeks has learned that sometimes nonprofits can leverage cash more than donated items because of their relationships with vendors.

“Had I gotten every person to give $25 and we gave a cash gift [instead of collecting diapers], we could have given them a lot more diapers,” Weeks says.

This idea isn’t just for kids. Raleigh couple Amy and David Moreau invited friends to a joint birthday celebration during which guests packed meals for Rise Against Hunger, an international hunger relief organization. Their daughter, Allison,

Do’s and Don’ts for a Successful Give-Back Birthday Party • Do partner with a nonprofit you and/or your child are passionate about, and that has a purpose your child can understand and appreciate.

• Don’t be upset if people would rather give your child a gift. Remember, charitable giving should come from the heart.

• Do contact the nonprofit ahead of time to ensure you are gifting the organization something it can use.

• Don’t use the cake box as a soapbox. It’s good to praise children for their good deeds in kid-appropriate language. It’s great to give the nonprofit a shout-out on social media. But don’t use the party to preach to guests.

• Do make it easy on the guests. Be specific about what you are asking them to do or bring.

Creating an Amazon Wish List or SignUpGenius form can be especially helpful.

• Do have fun. It’s still a party. You may be surprised by how much fun generosity can be!

enjoyed the party so much she requested the same theme for her Sweet 16. She asked guests to bring $16 instead of a gift to go carolinaparent.com | MAY 2019

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GROWING UP

Self-Care Savvy Helping kids with the activities of daily living

BY MALIA JACOBSON

W

hen it comes to selfies, your child may be a pro. But what about self-care? Also called activities of daily living, self-care skills are everyday tasks that get kids ready for life like eating, washing and dressing.

But self-care can also mean dialing back stress, getting more rest, practicing mindfulness and increasing joy. Whether your child is a toddler, teenager or somewhere in between, helping him or her learn to manage age-appropriate self-care is an important way to promote independence, says licensed educational psychologist, guidance counselor and author Reena B. Patel of San Diego, California. Here’s how to foster life skills that get kids ready to grow, age by age.

Image courtesy of Mickallnice/Shutterstock.com

EARLY YEARS Brushing Up Amid the morning rush, it may seem easier to hurry your tot through self-care tasks or do the tasks for her. Though toddlers and preschoolers may show interest in personal care tasks, they still need supervision and help from caregivers for tasks like handwashing, bathing, teeth-brushing and wiping after using the toilet until age 5 or so, says Dr. Adam Faizi, M.D., a pediatrician at Atrium Health Levine Children’s Charlotte Pediatric Clinic – SouthPark.

Patel says self-care practice can help young children feel a sense of accomplishment that boosts their budding self-esteem. “Giving children a chance to practice self-care skills is an important part of learning, and builds autonomy and responsibility,” she says.

This is important because self-esteem is mostly developed before age 5, according to a 2015 University of Washington study.

Toddlers and preschoolers can practice choosing their own clothing, dressing themselves, setting and clearing their plates and utensils for meals, brushing their hair and caring for belongings by putting them away.

ELEMENTARY YEARS Understanding Signals By grade school, kids may have learned, if not mastered, the basic skills needed to care for their bodies, like washing, grooming and dressing themselves. But what about caring for their mind, spirit and emotions? Caregivers can encourage growth by helping children learn to listen to themselves, starting with their body’s daily signals.

“Learning what our body is telling us through signals and cues, through pain and discomfort, and even through our feelings, starts in childhood,” Faizi says.

Instead of offering immediate solutions to kids’ minor complaints, practice listening to and validating feelings. Then ask kids to tune into their own needs.

“Encouraging children to listen to their hunger cues, but also their ‘getting full’ cues, is helpful and goes a long way at preventing overeating,” Faizi says.

Take a similar approach to offering breaks from homework or exercise. Prompt children to recognize their body’s cues when feeling tired or needing a break. If they do feel this way, let them rest for a few moments until they feel ready to resume their activity.

TEEN YEARS Rest Counts Too many teens skimp on sleep, a self-care essential. According to the National Sleep Foundation, 87% of teens get less than the recommended eight-and-a-half hours of sleep per night. Helping teens develop better sleep habits can boost their mental health, physical well-being and academic performance. Teenagers’ schedules, however, often leave too little time for sleep. Caregivers can help teens cut back on overscheduling and carefully choose their commitments, Patel says. “Have teens ask themselves ‘Are you enjoying it, looking forward to the activity, and are you gaining something from it?’”

A regular family check-in creates an opportunity for both connection and selfreflection, giving teens a chance to pause and consider whether they’re overcommitted or need more rest, Faizi says.

“Do a ‘FANO’ check-in,” Faizi says. “Each family member can discuss a prevalent Feeling, Affirm another person in the family, express a Need, including a need for rest, and Own or take responsibility for something they haven’t done well enough.”

While you’re at it, be sure to get your sleep. Modeling healthy self-care should be a parent’s top priority. “If something isn’t modeled by caregivers, it won’t be important to teens,” Faizi says.

Malia Jacobson is an award-winning health and parenting journalist and mom of three.

Her latest book is “Sleep Tight, Every Night: Helping Toddlers and Preschoolers Sleep Well Without Tears, Tricks, or Tirades.” carolinaparent.com | MAY 2019

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OH, BABY!

Will Baby Walkers, Exersaucers and Jumpers Help My Baby Learn to Walk?

BY REBECCA QUINONES AND RACHEL GANDY

Photo courtesy of Nasimi Babaev/Shutterstock.com

T

he first year of a baby’s life is full of milestones. As parents, you anxiously await each new skill, sound and experience. You want to do your best to help your baby grow and develop. With this in mind, you might search out the latest and greatest toys and devices to help your baby achieve the next skill.

As physical therapists, we are often asked if using a walker, exersaucer or jumper will help your baby learn to walk.

A quick search on the internet shows why parents may be confused when trying to answer this question.

Anyone shopping for infant equipment will quickly see the benefits being shared among parents about these devices. Baby walkers promise to encourage first steps and help your baby develop new motor skills. Exersaucers are marketed to parents as a safe way to contain and entertain infants, especially when parents are leery of using walkers. They offer a variety of toys connected to the tray, allowing your baby to have fun and experience different sensory information while spending time in a safe, contained and upright position. Jumpers also offer your baby the opportunity to bounce and have fun while contained, oftentimes taking up less space than an exersaucer or baby walker. At first glance, all of these seem like enjoyable and

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appropriate opportunities for your baby, but there is more to these devices than fun and entertainment.

SAFETY CONCERNS Multiple groups in the U.S., including the American Academy of Pediatrics and the Consumer Product Safety Commission, recommend against the use of baby walkers.

Canada banned walkers altogether in 2007.

These calls came after many babies were injured while spending time in walkers.

In the U.S., walkers now have voluntary design standards, including the inability to fit through standard doorways and features designed to stop them at the edge of a step.

These features were added as part of a direct response to numerous documented incidents of babies falling down stairs while in a walker. These falls often result in greater injuries than those experienced by babies falling down stairs without being in a walker.

In addition to falling, infants in walkers have been injured by pulling large or hot items down onto themselves as their curious hands are more able to reach previously out-of-the-way surfaces.

DELAYING DEVELOPMENT Clever marketing tells parents that spending time in a walker or exersaucer will help their infant learn to stand and walk.

Research shows that spending time in a baby walker may actually delay the start of independent walking by two to three weeks, and that infants who spend more time in walkers have a greater percentage of delay than those who spend less time in one.

POOR ALIGNMENT Babies learn to walk by strengthening their muscles and progressing through various developmental skills. As they spend time on their back, belly and side — and spend time sitting — they develop the muscles in their neck, trunk and hips. This prepares them to support their body in a standing position without a parent’s or guardian’s help.

Before they can walk, babies must be able to stand on their own. When babies are placed in a walker, exersaucer or jumper before they have developed adequate control of their muscles, they may not be able to support all of the parts of their body in the proper position.

Frequently, babies who are upright in a walker or exersaucer move their hips forward and their upper body behind their hips, putting weight through the front of their foot or their toes, rather than on the whole foot. This positioning is related to their lack of control of their hip, back and belly muscles, as well as the limited support they are getting from the device.

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With this poor alignment, babies may develop abnormal ways of moving, making it more difficult to learn to walk when they are taken out of the equipment.

LIMITED SENSORY EXPERIENCE Babies rely on all of their senses to help them understand how to move their bodies.

Baby walkers and exersaucers usually have a tray filled with exciting toys. This tray blocks babies from seeing their feet.

Without having the visual information about their legs and feet, babies are at a disadvantage as they try to learn how to successfully move their body.

In addition to lacking this visual information, exersaucers and walkers limit babies’ development of their balance responses and postural control. When infants stand with the support of an adult, they make small changes to their position all the time. Each time their position changes, they learn from this experience and develop a sense of how to position their body to be most stable. They develop responses that help them catch themselves when they start to feel off-balance. In a walker, exersaucer

or jumper, babies do not have to make these corrections. The device holds them in place and, when they do move out of position, it does not give them the information they need to try to fix the problem.

MISSED EXPERIENCES One of the biggest inherent risks of any equipment is using it too much. If babies are spending time in a walker, exersaucer or jumper, they are not spending that time in an uncontained position where they can strengthen their muscles and explore the environment around them. If they are spending time in all of these devices, the time they are spending uncontained and exploring is even more limited. When your baby plays with you, the interaction you provide helps stimulate and challenge him.

If you are not there entertaining your baby, he may have to work even harder to figure out how to reach his toys or interact with the things around him. These challenges help your baby learn in different ways, and encourage his gross motor development in a way that does not happen when all of his toys are on a tray in front of him.

At the end of the day, only you can decide what is best for your baby. While some babies may spend time in equipment and seem to move and develop without any trouble, others may have more difficulty down the road. Understanding the benefits and drawbacks of these devices gives you the knowledge you need to make the best decision for you and your baby.

Remember: Babies learn by having a variety of opportunities and experiences.

Giving your baby lots of floortime to explore her environment, strengthen her muscles, and refine her movements will help set a solid foundation that will have her up and walking before you know it.

Rebecca Quinones and Rachel Gandy are founders of Babies On The MOVE, a Cary-based organization committed to helping children excel in motor development with in-home pediatric physical therapy and community-based infant movement classes for all abilities.

Learn more about their services at babiesonthemoverdu.com.

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UNDERSTANDING KIDS

What Should Parents Do About Lying?

BY LUCY DANIELS CENTER STAFF

F

ew things upset parents more than when their child lies. There is no single reason for why children lie, but there are some general points that may provide a little guidance.

Young children, particularly age 5 and younger, have to develop the ability to understand the truth and do the right thing. They must learn what is right and what is wrong, and come to understand the importance of telling the truth. They are gradually developing their senses of morality and of guilt about actions that go against their ideas of right and wrong.

Younger children also believe what they want to believe. When they are not truthful, they may be telling a story they believe is truthful because they have convinced themselves. Although it is a gradual process, by age 5 or 6, children can be expected to have sufficiently mastered these developmental tasks so they have a strong sense of conscience and are able to tell the truth. But there are not many children who don’t ever fall off the honesty wagon.

Why is that?

Image courtesy of Michele Paccione/Shutterstock.com

TELLING THE TRUTH Every adult can remember times when he or she has struggled about whether to tell the truth, even if for an instant. There is a balance of forces within children and adults that affect each and every decision we make about telling the truth.

The strongest factor on the side of telling the truth is our inner guide — our conscience — and its major enforcement power: Its ability to make us feel guilty if we violate what it asks of us.

Another reason to tell the truth is more pragmatic: We risk negative consequences when we misbehave. However, these reasons to do the right thing are opposed by reasons not to do the right thing.

There are always perceived “rewards” to be gained if one breaks a rule of conscience. For example, a child may escape punishment from

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a parent for breaking a vase, but pays the internal price of guilt for telling a lie about it.

IMPORTANCE OF CONSCIENCE There will always be situations when there are strong temptations to lie. What helps someone do the right thing in such situations?

Concern about consequences generally pales in comparison to the importance of the inner voice of conscience, with its ability to reward with pride for obeying its requests, and punish with guilt for transgressions.

Guilt can be helpful when we feel it for the right reasons. Without it, we’d be lost in the press of our desires and impulses.

BEING TRUTHFUL AND ACCEPTING RESPONSIBILITY We suggest a balanced approach when helping a child who has told a lie. On one hand, you should inform your child that you know he or she is not telling the truth. There should probably be some form of a consequence. For some sensitive children, simply conveying your disappointment is enough of a consequence. For others, temporarily removing a privilege, such as screen time, will help make the point.

You can also comment to your child that there must be some reason(s) he or she was unable to do what was right. Perhaps the lie was driven by a wish to cover up something else he or she is embarrassed about or ashamed of. Through discussion, you can find ways to dignify a child’s concerns, even if you don’t agree with them, and discuss other ways he or she could address or manage these concerns while still doing the right thing.

The Lucy Daniels Center is a nonprofit agency in Cary that promotes the emotional health and well-being of children and families. Visit lucydanielscenter.org to learn more.

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What’s a summer camp bigger than fun?

It’s space exploration, zoo keeping and ooey gooey science experiments for starters! Explore summer camp options for your doer, dreamer and thinker: lifeandscience.org/register Two locations in Durham and Chapel Hill.

Don’t forget we offer birthday parties like no other!

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Vote for Your 2019 Readers’ Favorites Vote online in at least 15 categories for a chance to win great prizes!

Voting for the 2019 Readers’ Favorites awards is now open at carolinaparent.com/2019readersfavoritesvoting. We’ll publish your favorite places to visit, dine, shop and explore in our August issue and on our website by Aug. 1.

Vote in at least 15 of the categories below between now and May 31, and you’ll be entered to win great prizes such as: 2 tickets to North Carolina 5 passes to Triangle Rock Club Theatre’s production of “Annie” including rental equipment. for the opening night show on July 23 at 7 p.m.

CAROLINA PARENT READERS’ FAVORITES CATEGORIES PLACES TO GO DINING OUT CAMPS Festival • Museum • Rainy Day Outing Destination Family Restaurant • Non-Chain Family Restaurant Day Camp • Track-Out Camp • Residential Camp Family Sports Event • Place to Take Visitors National Chain Family Restaurant SHOPPING AND SERVICES Free Activity or Place • Day Trip Ethnic Eatery • Pizza Place • Sweet or Frozen Treats Day Care Facility • Tutoring • OB-GYN or Midwifery Performing Arts Venue Kids Eat Free Deal • Place for a Picnic Pediatrician • Family Dentist • Orthodontist Farmers Market • Best Winery • Best Brewery PARTY Veterinary Service • Kids Haircut GET MOVING Places to Ride Bikes • Places to Walk or Hike Places to Enjoy Water Activities Park or Playground • Family Fitness Facility Sports League or Club

Family Photographer • Local Toy Store Consignment Store • Mall

Image courtesy of Tomacco/Shutterstock.com

Party Entertainer • Party Facility Birthday Cake or Treat

Image courtesy of Lisa Kolbasa/Shutterstock.com

4 tickets to Carowinds and a chance to check out the park’s new roller coaster, Copperhead Strike.

Vote online by May 31 at carolinaparent.com/2019readersfavoritesvoting 28

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FATHER FIGURING

The Manner-less Father

BY BRUCE HAM

B

eing a widower with three young daughters was scary. Early

door, there’s etiquette on how to proceed through it. Apparently,

on, there were challenges that caused me a great deal of

if the door is not moving, the guy should go first to get the door

anxiety. One was my ability to raise girls who weren’t totally

started. If it is already moving, the woman should go through the

oblivious to typical societal norms. I really wanted them to

door first.

be poised, to have good manners. So, I sent them to cotillion.

Image courtesy of Lisa Kolbasa/Shutterstock.com

I’m from Fayetteville. We don’t do cotillion there. Although

wouldn’t have to strain to get the revolving door revolving. That

my mother is lovely and has very good manners, she raised

is not the case in my house. My fiancée could pummel most guys.

a houseful of boys. A win for her was no passing gas during

She’s strong. Hot yoga is her thing. She can hold a plank for a solid

Sunday lunch. Learning to use a bread knife was low on her

afternoon. And she has impeccable manners. I’ll not be starting

priority list.

the revolving door for her. She’s more capable than I.

The first year of cotillion was focused on learning the basics.

This dad raising three daughters alone left a number of gaps

This consisted of students learning a few dance moves (everyone

that needed to be filled. There is not a ton of modesty in our

loves a good fox trot), boys getting potato chips for the girls and

house. Mouths are often full when talking. Bathroom doors don’t

dressing for success. We learned a great deal through this process.

often shut. Forks, spoons and butter knives are interchangeable.

Gloves are a great way to mitigate gross, sweaty hands. Wing tips

And, most importantly, I’ve taught them to smell their clothing

hurt when they clomp on sandaled toes. Boys are often shorter

to determine whether it really needs to be washed. I didn’t realize

than girls in fifth grade.

that was questionable until very recently.

One evening after class, my youngest daughter came home Image courtesy of Tomacco/Shutterstock.com

I’m assuming this was designed so that the “weaker” sex

But somehow, perhaps through genetics, they have turned out

in a huff. “Dad, you’re not going to believe this one! During the

all right. They are strong, attractive, polite and well-mannered

slow dance tonight, the boy I was dancing with held onto my

young women. Or maybe it was cotillion.

underwear the entire song! Like gripped them on either side!”

I was amused but unalarmed. “I’m sure he didn’t know — he

Bruce Ham, who lives in Raleigh, started writing after losing his wife

probably wasn’t wearing any himself.”

and raising his three daughters on his own. He has written a book,

Sounds like something my older brother would do.

“Laughter, Tears and Braids,” about their journey, and writes a blog

Years two and three were more focused on manners. One of my

about his family’s experiences at therealfullhouse.wordpress.com.

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TECH TALK

The Social Media App Your High Schooler Should Be Using

I

f you’re the parent of a teenager, you already know how much he or she loves social media. From Instagram to Snapchat, and VSCO to Houseparty, these apps enable kids to have fun and connect in the moment.

What if I told you there was an app that could set up your child for success — now or in the future? It’s an app I used to help land internships, interviews, jobs and mentoring calls. And it’s one that may not be top of mind for students. In fact, it’s usually associated with adults.

For teens, creating a LinkedIn profile is a winning move. A recent study by Kaplan Test Prep showed that nearly 30% of college admissions officers report visiting online profile sites to help them decide on candidates. (And 9% say they had revoked an incoming student’s admissions offer because of what they had found on social media!)

A strong, professional LinkedIn account can help your teen stand out from the competition. It’s a great way for any high school student to capture his or her core interests and experiences. A LinkedIn profile is nearly guaranteed to show up on page one when someone Googles your child’s name. Furthermore, LinkedIn can help high school students connect with role models, mentors, professors, students at colleges they admire and influencers in fields they respect.

LinkedIn also works the other way around, too. The platform can help your student check out and get opinions on colleges. Higher education institutions from around the globe have created LinkedIn pages that provide all kinds of information about their programs and alumni.

Ready to have your high schooler leap into LinkedIn? Here are some tips to get you started:

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• Take a professional photo of your teen for his or her profile picture. Remember, this isn’t Instagram — rather than using a funny or sloppy photo, dress nicely and opt for a headshot style photo. Profiles with high-quality photos are seven times more likely to be viewed, according to LinkedIn. • Help your teen highlight his or her academic achievements.

Include summer enrichment programs, studies abroad, and any honors and awards.

• Remind your teen to tout his or her extracurriculars.

Use the “organizations” section to list any clubs he or she belongs to, and include a brief description of each.

• Suggest that your teen share his or her work. If your son or daughter is a budding artist or writer, for example, advise that he or she add links to art portfolios or writing samples so recruiters can see for themselves all your teen has to offer.

• Discuss limiting email notifications. Some students avoid signing up for LinkedIn because they hear about users receiving “too many spam emails” from the company and its users. Your teen can easily turn off these emails in the app’s settings.

Here at The Social Institute, we believe social media could be one of the most positive influences on your teen’s life if he or she is equipped to navigate it positively. Encourage your teen to use LinkedIn to help set him or her apart from others. It’s a short-term move with a lifetime impact.

Laura Tierney, a digital native who got her first phone at age 13, is founder and president of The Social Institute, which offers students positive ways to handle one of the biggest drivers of their social development: social media. She also recently became a mom. Learn more at thesocialinstitute.com.

Image courtesy of Jemastock/Shutterstock.com

BY LAURA TIERNEY

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COLLEGE TRANSITIONS

Why Students Should Consider Majoring in Artificial Intelligence

BY DAVE BERGMAN, ED.D.

H

eadlines related to artificial intelligence are ubiquitous in 2019 — automation displacing workers in industrial settings, self-driving cars on the cusp of taking over our roadways and machines diagnosing diseases in patients with a higher rate of accuracy than even the best-trained physicians. AI is just as omnipresent in our daily experiences, whether it’s Netflix telling you (with alarming accuracy) what you would like to watch, Amazon knowing when you are out of dog food or Spotify recommending what turns out to be your new favorite band. Examples are endless — for more, just ask Alexa, Siri or Google Assistant. Given AI’s increasing role in the world, those intent on majoring in engineering or computer science may want to seriously consider specializing in AI.

Image courtesy of Jemastock/Shutterstock.com

Where Can a Student Major in AI? Carnegie Mellon University, one of the nation’s top engineering schools, just launched an undergraduate degree program in AI in 2018-19. The Milwaukee School of Engineering followed CMU’s lead, announcing the formation of its own Computer Science/AI program shortly after. Many other elite universities do not offer full-blown AI majors, instead only granting degrees at the master’s and doctoral levels.

Fortunately, for those seeking to tackle AI as an undergraduate, many other top tech institutions do offer a track or concentration in AI as part of a computer science degree. For example, AI is one of the nine tracks that students majoring in computer science at Stanford University can select. Caltech offers students majoring in computer science a similar track in Machine Learning and AI. Non uber-selective schools like UNCCharlotte, the University of Massachusetts-Amherst and Oregon State University also offer similar tracks/specializations in AI. Courses in an Artificial Intelligence Bachelor’s Program To earn a degree in AI, your student can expect to take a core of computer science classes covering topics such as imperative computation, functional programming, sequential data structures and algorithms, and computer systems. Math requirements will involve coursework in areas such as differential and integral calculus, matrices and linear transformations, modern regression, probability theory, and integration and approximation. You can expect to take AI-specific courses with titles like Machine Learning, Decision-Making and Robotics, Perception and Language, Human-AI Interaction, and Ethics and AI.

What High School Courses Should Your Student Take?

For starters, high schoolers eyeing entry into a top AI program should take a full order of honors/Advanced Placement courses in physics, chemistry, biology, calculus, trigonometry, geometry and statistics. Additionally, students should take discrete mathematics, since this is the foundation of modern-day computer science and includes topics such as combinatorics, probability, number theory, logic and graph theory. If your high school lacks a robust Advanced Placement or International Baccalaureate program, it’s imperative that your student seek out high-level math and science options via dual enrollment at a local college.

Jobs/Salary Outlook Average salaries for AI jobs are estimated to be upwards of $140,000, according to college resource website CollegeHippo. com, making it as lucrative a field as one could hope to find.

Forbes.com reports in a Jan. 12, 2018 story by Louis Columbus that the number of jobs requiring AI knowledge has grown by 450 percent since 2013. And as of 2018, according to March 9, 2018 statistics published by Adobe, only 15 percent of enterprises were using AI but 31 percent were expected to use its capabilities in the next 12 months. Computer science jobs as a whole are expected to grow 19% from now until 2026, according to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics. You get the idea — AI is about as in-demand a skill set as one can find.

Some would argue against over-specializing during undergraduate study given how rapidly technology develops.

While this is, in many cases, a wise course of action (shed a tear for VCR repairmen and telephone booth makers), AI programs still provide students with a sufficient dose of general engineering and computer science coursework to prepare them for any type of career in the tech industry. Additionally, it seems almost certain that AI’s involvement in our lives will only expand and deepen in the coming decadess.

Dave Bergman, Ed.D., is a co-founder of College Transitions, a team of college planning experts committed to guiding families through the college admissions process. He is also co-author of “The Enlightened College Applicant: A New Approach to the Search and Admissions Process.” Learn more at collegetransitions.com.

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EXCURSION

Ocracoke Explore North Carolina’s most remote inhabited island

U

nlike many coastal towns in North Carolina that require families to simply load up the car, round up the kids and drive a few short hours, visiting the largely uncommercialized, primitive and historic Ocracoke Island

requires planning and organization. It’s well worth it, though, to enjoy a relaxing beach vacation immersed in the Outer Banks’ expansive natural offerings.

Here’s what you need to know to get the most out of a vacation on our state’s most remote inhabited island, where you’ll discover a family paradise filled with nature and adventure.

OPT FOR TWO WHEELS INSTEAD OF FOUR

BY ADDIE LADNER

Cycling remains the preferred way of traveling around Ocracoke Island. Cyclists have greater access to beautiful island views and can more easily visit local restaurants and landmarks. You’ll see duck families waddling around, old fig trees (there are at least nine varieties growing on the island, according to a 2011 Ocracroke Observer report), the Ocracoke Lighthouse (officially known as the Ocracoke Light Station) and ancient cemeteries (there are more than 80 family graveyards on the island, according to OcracokeNavigator.com, a website providing 200-plus interactive maps of the island).

Plan to take bikes with you, or rent them locally (numerous options are available). Secure young kids by renting a pull-behind attachment.

EXPLORE BY FOOT It may take a bit of a trek to reach Springer’s Point, but it’s rewarding, even if small kids are in tow. This large patch of preserved land on Ocracoke Island houses peaceful, sandy trails; live oak trees; birds and critters; and historical markers that educate visitors on the island’s varied history. It is believed that Edward Teach, aka Blackbeard, considered this secluded and beautiful part of the island his favorite hideout.

Hike all the way through Springer’s Point and you’ll find yourself on the Pamlico Sound side of the island — a great swimming option for young kids since the water is calmer than the Atlantic Ocean side. Plus, crowds are often smaller, and groves of established trees provide shady spots for picnics and hammocks. Bug spray is a must.

There are no parking options at Springer’s Point, which is why you must access the area by foot or bicycle.

DINE BY SUNSET Ocracoke Island offers limited grocery store options, so shop before you come. Do take advantage of the island’s local restaurant offerings, however.

Enjoy coconut shrimp and other coastal-inspired fare on the deck of the Jolly Roger Pub & Marina (jollyrogerocracoke.com), a

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family‑friendly waterfront pub where you can watch the sun set

of Transportation at ncdot.gov/divisions/ferry/pages/default.aspx,

while listening to Jimmy Buffet or Brad Paisley covers. Boats motor

where you can also view ferry schedules.

in and out of the marina as families and fisherman head out or return home from water adventures.

For a more upscale dining experience, head to Dajio (dajiorestaurant.com). The New American menu changes with

Be sure to stop by the Ocracoke Pony Pens on your way in to see the “Banker” ponies, descendants of horses that arrived with shipwrecked explorers in the 1500s. Learn more at visitocracokenc.com/wild-ponies.

the seasons and island offerings, hence the wide range of fresh seafood options.

Addie Ladner lives in Raleigh with her husband, two young children and beagle mix.

GETTING THERE You will need a day to get to Ocracoke Island, which is only accessible by ferry, boat or private plane. Fortunately, you’ll be taking the scenic route with ocean views no matter what method of transportation you choose.

The Hatteras Ferry route is free, fast (takes about an hour) and first come, first served, so get there early. Both the Cedar Island Ferry and Swan Quarter Ferry take more than two hours and require advance ticket purchases through the North Carolina Department

OPPOSITE PAGE: Ocracoke Island offers families plenty of nature-based adventure.

ABOVE, LEFT TO RIGHT: Hike all the way through Springer’s Point to the Pamlico side of the island.

Cycling remains the preferred way to get around Ocracoke Island.

Ocracoke Lighthouse is officially known as the Ocracoke Light Station.

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CALENDAR MAY 2019

BY JANICE LEWINE

OUR PICKS Raleigh Touch-A-Truck | May 4 Beep, beep! Climb aboard big rigs, emergency vehicles, a city bus, a dump truck and other machinery at the Junior League of Raleigh’s 4th Annual Touch-A-Truck event, 9 a.m.-1 p.m., Photo courtesy of charnsitr/Shutterstock.com

in the Spring Hill Lot, 701 Barbour Dr., Raleigh. Kids can talk to first responders, truck operators, area builders and community helpers about their roles in assisting Wake County citizens.

Purchase advance tickets for $6 per person online at jlraleigh.org/fundraising/touch-a-truck and $7 per person at the door. Tickets are free for ages 1 and younger. A quiet hour with no sirens or lights starts at 9 a.m. Touch-A-Truck benefits the Raleigh Backpack Buddies program.

Image courtesy of the North Carolina Museum of History

Barnyard Birthday Bash | May 18 You’re invited to a party — for goats! The five beloved residents of Historic Oak View County Park — Walt, Levi, Elliot, Felix and Leroy — celebrate their birthdays this month and welcome party animals young and old to the 10 a.m.-noon shindig. The Barnyard Birthday Bash features kids activities, games and live music inside the Farm History Center from 10-11:15 a.m., followed by a presentation about the four-legged guests of honor. Pet the goats, sing “Happy Birthday” to them, and enjoy cake, ice cream and lemonade from 11:30 a.m.-noon.

Admission is FREE. Historic Oak View County Park is located at 4028 Carya Dr., Raleigh. wakegov.com/parks/oakview.

“One Giant Leap: North Carolina and the Space Race” | Through Jan. 5 On July 20, 1969, millions of Americans proudly watched as their countrymen, Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin, became the first humans to land on the moon. Celebrate the 50th anniversary of this historic event as the North Carolina Museum of History in Raleigh hosts an interactive exhibit, “One Giant Leap: North Carolina and the Space Race,” that showcases artifacts on loan from the Smithsonian National Air and Space Museum. View actual Apollo items, including a Presidential Medal of Freedom, astronaut John Young’s Apollo 16 chronograph and a training helmet. Visitors can

Photo courtesy of Historic Oak View County Park

even take part in a training module to test their ability to follow Mission Control’s command. This exhibit is part of “Lift Off NC: Apollo + Beyond,” a yearlong celebration of the moon landing that features festivals, exhibits, lunar- and stargazing parties, performances and more across the Triangle.

Admission is FREE. The North Carolina Museum of History is located at 5 E. Edenton St., Raleigh. ncmuseumofhistory.org/ exhibits/one-giant-leap and ncsciencefestival.org/liftoffnc.

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CALENDAR

BY JANICE LEWINE

MAY 2019

FESTIVALS

APEX PEAKFEST MAY 4 – Downtown Apex. 9 a.m.-5 p.m.

FREE. The Town of Apex lives up to its motto, “The Peak of Good Living,” in this annual festival featuring artisans, live performances, kids entertainment and carnival food. apexpeakfest.com.

CANINE FIELD DAY MAY 4 – Rock Quarry Park, 701 Stadium Dr., Durham. 10 a.m.-noon. FREE. Take Fido to enjoy games, activities, competitions, pet-friendly vendors and food trucks. dprplaymore.org/294/canine-field-day.

CPSC STRAWBERRY FESTIVAL MAY 4 – Old North Durham Park, 724 Foster St., Durham. 11 a.m.-3 p.m. FREE. Enjoy all things strawberry in a benefit event for Central Park School for Children. cpscnc.org/strawberry.

with pig races, live music, cuisine and more. hamandyam.com.

artisans, children’s activities and more. durhamgreekfestival.org.

MEET IN THE STREET MAY 4 – Downtown Wake Forest. 10 a.m.4 p.m. FREE. Enjoy artisan booths, multiple entertainment venues, food trucks, live music, children’s activities and much more. wakeforestnc.gov/meet-in-the-street.aspx.

CARRBORO DAY MAY 5 – Carrboro Town Commons, 301 W. Main St., Carrboro. 1-5 p.m. FREE. Celebrate the unique qualities that make Carrboro special. Enjoy stories and photos, poetry readings, music and dancing, interactive field games, crafts and family activities. carrboroday.com.

RALEIGH TOUCH-A-TRUCK MAY 4 – Spring Hill Lot, 701 Barbour Dr., Raleigh. 9 a.m.-1 p.m. $6 advance tickets online, $7 at the door. Climb aboard a fire truck, police vehicle, ambulance, city bus, dump truck and more. Enjoy a bounce house, face painting, food trucks and raffles. A quiet hour for guests with sensory sensitivities is 9-10 a.m. jlraleigh.org.

DURHAM GREEK FESTIVAL MAY 45 – Barbara Greek Orthodox Church, 8306 Hwy. 751, Durham. 11 a.m.-8 p.m.

FREE. Opa! Enjoy the best of Greece with authentic cuisine, dance performances,

DURHAM TOUCH-A-TRUCK MAY 5 – Duke University, 302 Science Dr., Durham. 10 a.m.-1 p.m. $5/person. Free for ages 2 and younger. Explore vehicles from law enforcement, fire departments, public works, emergency medical services, construction machinery, farm equipment and more. Enjoy face painting, a bounce house, games and a performance by the Bouncing Bulldogs. jldoc.org/touch-a-truck.

BULL CITY MINI GOLF OPENING MAY 11 – American Tobacco Campus, Blackwell St., Durham. All ages. 10 a.m.-midnight. Tickets

are $7/person. Take part in the grand opening of community-designed mini golf holes and enjoy frozen beverages. View murals created by local artists. bullcitymini.com.

FESTIVAL OF FLOWERS MAY 11 – Belle Vie Farm, 3100 Damascus Church Rd., Chapel Hill. 10 a.m.-2 p.m. FREE. Romp through the forest, take a canoe ride, pick wildflowers and plant seeds. Craft flower crowns, bouquets, seed bombs and earth art. belleviefarm.org/festival-of-flowers.

RITMO LATINO FESTIVAL MAY 11 – Downtown Cary. Noon-6 p.m.

FREE. Celebrate Latino culture through music, dance, visual arts and more. Enjoy craft vendors, traditional food and kids activities. diamanteinc.org/ritmo-latino-festival.

TURTLEFEST MAY 11 – Bass Lake Park, 900 Bass Lake Rd., Holly Springs. 1-4 p.m. FREE. Carnival games, crafts, live animals and live music highlight this annual festival. Meet tortoises and other

Artsplosure, the annual Raleigh arts festival, is May 18-19.

FEST IN THE WEST MAY 4 – USA Baseball National Training Complex, 7445 Green Hope School Rd., Cary.

11 am.-5 p.m. FREE. Western Cary’s signature festival showcases a food truck rodeo, an arts and crafts village, a petting zoo, kids activities and more. festinthewest.com.

FRIENDS OF PAGE-WALKER HERBFEST MAY 4 – Page-Walker Arts & History Center, 119 Ambassador Loop, Cary. 9 a.m.-3 p.m.

FREE. Learn about gardening and cooking with herbs, and shop for garden-related items. Kids can enjoy an herb craft and butterfly releases. townofcary.org/recreationenjoyment/events/special-events/herbfest.

Photo courtesy of Artsplosure

Image courtesy of the North Carolina Museum of History

SHAKORI HILLS GRASSROOTS FESTIVAL OF MUSIC & DANCE MAY 25 – Shakori Hills, 1439 Henderson Tanyard Rd., Pittsboro. See the website for hours and to purchase tickets. Take the family for live music, artisans, food vendors, storytelling, face painting, a climbing wall and more. Ages 12 and younger must be accompanied by an adult. shakorihillsgrassroots.org.

HAM & YAM FESTIVAL MAY 4 – Downtown Smithfield. 9 a.m.9:30 p.m. FREE. Smithfield’s biggest festival of the year pays homage to Southern culture carolinaparent.com | MAY 2019

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CALENDAR MAY 2019 reptiles, and talk to biologists and wildlife rehabilitators. hollyspringsnc.us/361/turtlefest.

GOT TO BE NC FESTIVAL MAY 17-19 – North Carolina State Fairgrounds, 1025 Blue Ridge Rd., Raleigh.

Check the website for hours, fees and to purchase tickets. This celebrated Raleigh festival features animals, homegrown food, entertainment, music, antique farm equipment, carnival rides and more. gottobenc.com/event/gtbnc-festival-2019.

LONGLEAF FESTIVAL MAY 18 – Harris Lake County Park, 2112 County Park Dr., New Hill. 10 am.-2 p.m.

FREE. Learn about the longleaf pine and its special significance to North Carolina’s past, present and future. Enjoy hands-on activities; take a wagon ride to the 60-acre longleaf forest; and enjoy games, crafts, live animals, food trucks and special surprises as part of the festival and the park’s 20th anniversary celebration. wakegov.com/parks/harrislake.

BARNYARD BIRTHDAY BASH MAY 18 – Historic Oak View County Park, 4028 Carya Dr., Raleigh. 10 a.m.-noon. FREE. Celebrate the birthdays of the park’s beloved goats. The event features outdoor games, goody bags, birthday cake and ice cream. wakegov.com/parks/oakview.

MORRISVILLE SPRINGFEST MAY 18 – Morrisville Town Hall Campus, 100 Town Hall Dr., Morrisville. 4-9 p.m. Free; game tickets are $1 each. Morrisville ushers in the spring season with live entertainment, carnival-style games, inflatables, craft vendors and food trucks. townofmorrisville.org.

BIMBE CULTURAL ARTS FESTIVAL MAY 18 – Rock Quarry Park, 701 Stadium Dr., Durham. Noon-8 p.m. FREE. Durham welcomes families to enjoy African American history and culture. dprplaymore.org/281/ bimbe-cultural-arts-festival.

WHEELS ON ACADEMY CAR SHOW AND TOUCH‑A‑TRUCK MAY 18 – Downtown Park and South Academy St., Cary. 9 a.m.-2 p.m. FREE. See cars of yesteryear come alive and rule the roads alongside some of today’s modern hot rods and exotic cars. Explore vehicles and

heavy machinery coinciding with the town’s Touch-A-Truck event, and meet the personnel who protect and build the Cary community. townofcary.org.

ARTSPLOSURE: THE RALEIGH ARTS FESTIVAL MAY 18-19 – Downtown Raleigh. Saturday, 11 a.m.-7 p.m.; Sunday, 10 a.m-6 p.m. FREE. Enjoy more than 170 visual arts and crafts exhibitors from across the state, multiple interactive activities and entertainment for children in Kidsplosure. raleighartsfestival.com.

MUD DAY MAY 18 – Walnut Creek Wetland Park, 950 Peterson St., Raleigh. 10 a.m.-2 p.m. FREE. Play in the mud and enjoy games, crafts, live animal exhibits, food trucks and more. Dress to get messy. Registration encouraged. Choose event #236849. reclink.raleighnc.gov.

APEX TOUCH-A-TRUCK MAY 19 – Apex Community Park, 2200 Laura Duncan Rd., Apex. 1-4 p.m. FREE. Get in the driver’s seat and learn all about the vehicles used in construction, landscaping, transporation and more. All ages with adult. A

quiet hour for guests with sensory sensitivities is 1-2 p.m. apexnc.org/touchatruck.

GIRLS WORLD EXPO RALEIGH MAY 19 – Hilton North Raleigh, 3415 Wake Forest Rd., Raleigh. Noon-4 p.m. FREE. This empowerment workshop for teenage girls includes workshops, science exhibits, guest speakers, a fashion show and much more. Register online. girlsworldexpo.com/expos/raleigh.

ANIMAZEMENT 2019 MAY 23-26 – Raleigh Convention Center, 500 S. Salisbury St., Raleigh. See the website for hours and to purchase tickets. $65/person.

Raleigh’s premier Japanese animation and culture convention features educational panels, merchandise, unique artwork and more.

Purchase tickets online. animazement.com.

NC SUGAR RUSH MAY 26 – City Market, 214 E. Martin St., Raleigh. 1-5 p.m. FREE. Enjoy sweet treats from more than 20 vendors in downtown Raleigh. Pets welcome. ncsugarrush.com.

DAILY 1 WEDNESDAY Storytime on the Roof. North Regional Library, 221 Milton Rd., Durham. All ages.

10:30-11:15 a.m. FREE. Take a blanket or pillow for storytime on the library’s roof.

Register online. events.durhamcountylibrary. org/event/1810151.

2 THURSDAY Adult Workshop: Navigating “The Talk.”

Poe Center for Health Education, 224 Sunnybrook Rd., Raleigh. 6:308 p.m. FREE. Adults learn how to talk with a teen about social media, teen relationships and substance use.

Advance registration required online. signupgenius.com.

3 FRIDAY “One Giant Leap: North Carolina and the Space Race.” 9 a.m.-5 p.m. FREE. In

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this exhibit, learn about North Carolina’s contribution to the space race and the 1969 moon landing. All ages. North Carolina Museum of History, 5 E. Edenton St., Raleigh. ncmuseumofhistory.org/ exhibits/one-giant-leap.

4 SATURDAY Beyond the Garden Gate: Self-Guided Tour.

Hillsborough Visitors Center, 150 E. King St., Hillsborough. 10 a.m.-6 p.m. $20-$25/ person. Enjoy a rare opportunity to explore the private gardens of historic Hillsborough.

Proceeds from this self-guided tour benefit the Hillsborough Garden Club scholarship program and community beautification projects. Purchase tickets online. hillsboroughgardenclubnc.com/gardentour.

Born at Duke Homestead. Duke Homestead State Historic Site, 2828 Duke Homestead Rd., Durham. 10 a.m.-4 p.m. $3 ages 12

and older. Costumed interpreters take visitors on a guided tour through the historic house and discover women’s roles at Duke Homestead. dukehomestead.org/ special-events.php.

Discovery Table: Abundant Birds. Historic Yates Mill County Park, 4620 Lake Wheeler Rd., Raleigh. All ages. 8:30 a.m.-5 p.m.

FREE. Watch a colorful slideshow of birds found in the park and play a fun game to explore the wide variety of birds found in nature. All ages. Registration not required. wakegov.com/parks/yatesmill.

Mill Tours: Saturdays at the Old Mill Tours.

Historic Yates Mill County Park, 4620 Lake Wheeler Rd., Raleigh. 1-3 p.m. $5/adult, $3 ages 7-16. Free for ages 6 and younger.

Enjoy a half-hour tour to view the main power drive and milling machinery while exploring the mill’s history and aspects of its preservation. All ages. Registration

encouraged. Tickets available in the park’s visitor center. wakegov.com/parks/yatesmill.

Super Saturday. Triangle Math and Science Academy, 312 Gregson Dr., Cary.

10 a.m.-3:30 p.m. $25-$30. Academically gifted students in grades preK-8 enjoy enrichment classes. Super Saturday is a biannual event organized by PAGE of Wake County. Advance registration required online. wakepage.org.

5 SUNDAY Creek Critters! Family Hike. North Carolina Botanical Garden, 100 Old Mason Farm Rd., Chapel Hill. 1:30-4 p.m. $9/child member, $10/child nonmember. Enjoy a spring hike to Morgan Creek to collect and release crayfish, dragonfly nymphs and more. Learn how these creatures survive in their aquatic home and the importance of indicator species to determine the

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CALENDAR MAY 2019 health of the creek. Register online. ncbg.unc.edu.

Curiosity Club: Discovering Dinosaurs.

Stevens Nature Center/Hemlock Bluffs, 2616 Kildaire Farm Rd., Cary. 2-4 p.m. $8/resident, $10/nonresident. Ages 5-8 embrace science and nature while developing skills and knowledge about the natural world. Register online. Choose course #121610. classweb.townofcary.org.

Discovery Table: Abundant Birds. See May 4.

Fairy Garden Party. Leslie-Alford-Mims House, 100 Avent Ferry Rd., Holly Springs.

10 a.m. $10-$15. Music, dancing, fairy festivities, light snacks, fairy hair and face painting highlight this festival to benefit the future Carolina Children’s Museum.

Purchase tickets online. eventbrite.com.

Family Bingo. Century Center, 100 N. Green St., Carrboro. All ages. 2:30-3:30 p.m. $3/person. Take the family to play bingo. carrbororec.org.

Mill Tours: Mill Heritage and Local History Tour. Historic Yates Mill County Park, 4620 Lake Wheeler Rd., Raleigh. 2-3 p.m. $5/ adult, $3 ages 7-16. Free for ages 6 and younger. Watch a brief slideshow and explore the inner workings of the mill.

Witness the power of water as it turns the milling machinery. All ages. Registration encouraged. wakegov.com/parks/yatesmill.

Series of Fortunate Events: SOFE Film Shorts. The Cary Theater, 122 E. Chatham St., Cary. 5:30 p.m. $15/person. Enjoy a screening of two short films and discussion with their creators. Films include “Waking Dreams” by Brad Jones and “George, My Autism” by George Yionuolis. Purchase tickets online. fortunateevents.org/events.

6 MONDAY Discovery Table: Abundant Birds. See May 4.

Parent/Child Clay Workshops: Wild Creatures of the Outdoors. Durham Arts Council Clay Studio, 1058 W. Club Blvd., Durham. 10-11:30 a.m., 4-5:30 p.m. $15/child. Parent and child create an animal creature out of clay. Register online. durhamarts.org.

Park Tales: “Monarch and Milkweed.”

Historic Yates Mill County Park, 4620 Lake Wheeler Rd., Raleigh. 11 a.m.-

noon. FREE. Read about the life cycle of the Monarch butterfly in the book

by Helen Frost and Leonid Gord. Make a butterfly craft to take home. All ages with an adult. Registration required. wakegov.com/parks/yatesmill.

7 TUESDAY Hemlock Nature Quest: Nocturnal Adventures. Stevens Nature Center/ Hemlock Bluffs, 2616 Kildaire Farm Rd., Cary. 7-8:30 p.m. $12/resident, $16/nonresident. Explore the preserve for active wildlife as the sun sets.

Take a flashlight. Ages 13-15. Register online. Choose course #119071. classweb.townofcary.org.

Nature Peekers: “Over in the Meadow.”

Blue Jay Point County Park, 3200 Pleasant Union Church Rd., Raleigh. 10:30-11 a.m.

FREE. Read the book by Jane Cabrera and search for meadow creatures. Ages 18 months-3 years with an adult.

Advance registration required online. wakegov.com/parks/bluejay.

Parent/Child Clay Workshops: Wild Creatures of the Outdoors.

See May 6. 4-5:30 p.m.

Preschool Swamp Romp: Birds. Walnut Creek Wetland Park, 950 Peterson St., Raleigh. 4:30 p.m. $2/child. Discover what makes a bird unique. Ages 2-6.

Advance registration required online. $2/person. Registration barcode is #236837. reclink.raleighnc.gov.

Tuesday Morning Movie. Halle Cultural Center, 237 N. Salem St., Apex. 10 a.m.noon. FREE. Enjoy a family-friendly movie on a big screen. Take snacks and blankets. thehalle.org.

8 WEDNESDAY Specialized Recreation: Growth.

Cary Senior Center, 120 Maury O’Dell Place, Cary. 6:30-7:30 p.m. $9/ resident, $11/nonresident. Ages 11 and older with special needs enjoy a calming yoga session. Register online.

Choose course #121467. classweb.townofcary.org.

9 THURSDAY Field School: Peek into the Pond.

Historic Yates Mill County Park, 4620 Lake Wheeler Rd., Raleigh. 10:30 a.m.-noon.

FREE. Take a short walk to learn about Yates Mill Pond’s watershed and dip into the pond to explore its diversity of life. Ages 7-14. Registration required. wakegov.com/parks/yatesmill.

“The Three Billy Goats at Troll Bluff” Puppet Show. Orange County Public Library, 137 W. Margaret Ln., Hillsborough. 4-5 p.m. FREE. Ages 4 and older enjoy a retelling of “The Three Billy Goats Gruff” and make a craft after the show. orangecountylibrary.org.

Tots on Trails: Busy Bugs. Stevens Nature Center/Hemlock Bluffs, 2616 Kildaire Farm Rd., Cary. 10-11 a.m. $8/resident, $10/nonresident. Ages 1-5 and caregiver delight in the discoveries of nature.

Register online. Choose course #121601. classweb.townofcary.org.

Wee Wetland Walkers. Walnut Creek Wetland Park, 950 Peterson St., Raleigh.

11 a.m.-noon. FREE. Join others for an easy-paced hike around the greenway accompanied by a naturalist. All ages.

Register online. Choose course #236845. reclink.raleighnc.gov.

10 FRIDAY Cary Town Band Presents “Musical Globe-Trotting.” Cary Arts Center, 101 Dry Ave., Cary. 7:30 p.m. FREE. Listen to music from Europe, Latin America and the Middle East. All ages. townofcary.org.

Kids Night Out. Durham Arts Council Clay Studio, 1058 W. Club Blvd., Durham.

6:30‑8 p.m. $18/child. Kids make clay art while parents enjoy a night out. Register online. durhamarts.org.

Space Explorers. Orange County Public Library, 137 W. Margaret Ln., Hillsborough. 4-5 p.m. FREE. Ages 2-5 discover the wonders of outer space through crafts, science and games. Dropin program. orangecountylibrary.org.

11 SATURDAY Junior Naturalist: Searching for Reptiles.

Stevens Nature Center/Hemlock Bluffs,

2616 Kildaire Farm Rd., Cary. 2-3 p.m. $8/resident, $10/nonresident. Participants develop their naturalist skills and understanding of local nature. Ages 5-8 with adult. Register online. Choose course #121676. classweb.townofcary.org.

Mill Tours: Saturdays at the Old Mill Tours.

See May 4.

Mother’s Day Market. Mayton Inn, 301 S. Academy St., Cary. 10:30 a.m.-3:30 p.m.

FREE. Enjoy a family-friendly shopping experience on Mother’s Day weekend to support the mission of the BPW/ Triangle Foundation. Register online. eventbrite.com/e/mothers-day-markettickets-56035567892.

Pedal Boats and Soda Floats. Bond Park, 801 High House Rd., Cary. 5-8:30 p.m. $19/family of four, $5 additional child.

Make a soda float before heading out on the lake for an after-hours family pedal boat ride. Ages 4-10. The rain date is May 18. Register online. Choose course #120851. classweb.townofcary.org.

Tots on Trails: Busy Bugs. See May 9.

Triangle Youth String Orchestra Performs.

Cary Arts Center, 101 Dry Ave., Cary.

11 a.m. $5/adult, $2/child. The Triangle Youth String Orchestra plays in the first half of the program, and the Triangle Youth String Sinfonia performs after a short intermission. All ages. Purchase tickets online. etix.com.

Wake Forest Garden Club Mad Hatters’ Tea and Garden Tour. Wake Forest Historical Museum, 414 N. Main St., Wake Forest.

10 a.m.-4 p.m. Enjoy a plated English style tea prior to a garden tour. Purchase tickets online. Tea tickets are $20/ person and tour tickets are $15/person. wfgardenclub.org.

12 SUNDAY Library Masterclass: True Story or Fake News? Orange County Public Library, 137 W. Margaret Ln., Hillsborough.

2-3 p.m. FREE. Discover a librarian’s tricks for telling online facts from fiction to evaluate sources for bias and verify information. orangecountylibrary.org.

Mill Tours: Mill Heritage and Local History Tour. See May 5.

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CALENDAR MAY 2019 Young Ecologists: Swift Creek Survey.

Stevens Nature Center/Hemlock Bluffs, 2616 Kildaire Farm Rd., Raleigh. 2-4 p.m. $8/resident, $10/nonresident. Search for fish, turtles, frogs and crayfish.

Equipment provided. Ages 10-13.

Register online. Choose course #121622. classweb.townofcary.org.

13 MONDAY Homeschool Day: Flowers, Clouds and Veggies. The Yurt, JC Raulston Arboretum, 4415 Beryl Rd., Raleigh.

10 a.m., 11 a.m. $5/child member, $7/ child nonmember. Learn about the parts of a flower, collect weather data and dig into the vegetable garden. Grades K-5 with adult. jcra.ncsu.edu/events/details. php?ID=2004.

Tiny Tots: Movement in Nature.

Crowder County Park, 4709 Ten-Ten Rd., Apex. 10:30-11 a.m. FREE. Ages 18 months-3 years with caregiver develop motor skills through center-based activities.

Registration required. Meet at the upper pavilion. wakegov.com/parks/crowder.

14 TUESDAY Candy Making Fun. Herbert C. Young Community Center, 101 Wilkinson Ave., Cary. 6-7 p.m. $18/resident, $23/nonresident. Ages 11-17 create old-fashioned taffy and hard candy using ingredients like caramel, marshmallow and chocolate. Register online. Choose course #119990. classweb.townofcary.org.

Fine Arts Night & Community Open House. Resurrection Lutheran School, 100 W. Lochmere Dr., Cary. All ages.

6:30-8:30 p.m. FREE. A showcase of student art and music highlights this event. School tours available. rlscary.org.

Homeschool Day: Flowers, Clouds, and Veggies. See May 13. jcra.ncsu.edu/ events/details.php?ID=2005.

Nature Families: Bird Watchers. Crowder County Park, 4709 Ten-Ten Rd., Apex.

11 a.m.-noon. FREE. Play bird ID bingo, build a nest and search for worms. All ages with adult. Meet at the upper pavilion. wakegov.com/parks/crowder.

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15 WEDNESDAY Nature Stories: Green Thumbs. Blue Jay Point County Park, 3200 Pleasant Union Church Rd., Raleigh. 1-2 p.m. FREE. Learn about seeds and other items in a garden.

Plant seeds to begin your own garden at home. Ages 3-5 with adult. Registration required. wakegov.com/parks/bluejay.

Nature Watchers: Baby Birds.

Crowder County Park, 4709 Ten-Ten Rd., Apex. 11 a.m.-noon. FREE. Explore the lives of baby birds. Play a memory game, make a craft and hunt for eggs. Ages 3-5 with adult.

Registration required. Meet at the upper pavilion. wakegov.com/parks/crowder.

16 THURSDAY Fairy and Gnome Houses. Orange County Public Library, 137 W. Margaret Ln., Hillsborough. 4-5 p.m. FREE. Step into the world of fairies and gnomes and build a house for them. Grades 3-5. Call 919-2452532 to register. orangecountylibrary.org.

Volunteer Workdays: Wildflower Watering Club. Stevens Nature Center/ Hemlock Bluffs, 2616 Kildaire Farm Rd., Cary. 11 a.m.-noon. FREE. Ages 2-5 with caregiver water plants in the native wildflower gardens. Register online.

Choose course #121560. classweb.townofcary.org.

17 FRIDAY Garden Storytime. JC Raulston Arboretum, 4415 Beryl Rd., Raleigh. 10:30-11:30 a.m.

Free for members, $5/child nonmember.

Parent and child explore the gardens together to find the perfect spot to spread picnic blankets for garden stories and crafts. Register online. jcra.ncsu.edu/ events/details.php?ID=1971.

Lakeside Movies. Bond Park, 801 High House Rd., Cary. 7:30-9 p.m. FREE. Take the family to see a movie by the lake. Movie begins at dusk. classweb.townofcary.org.

Night Out in Nature. Stevens Nature Center/ Hemlock Bluffs, 2616 Kildaire Farm Rd., Raleigh. 6-9 p.m. $15/resident, $19/ nonresident. Kids spend a night out in nature making memories and new friends in an old-fashioned, camp-style program.

Ages 8-12. Register online. Choose course #121595. classweb.townofcary.org.

Recreational Adventures: An Orienting Outing. Historic Yates Mill County Park, 4620 Lake Wheeler Rd., Raleigh. 3-4:30 p.m. FREE. Track your way through the woods with the help of the sun’s light and the earth’s magnetic field, and learn to use a compass to navigate your way through an obstacle course. Ages 8 and older with adult. Registration required. wakegov.com/parks/yatesmill.

18 SATURDAY Author Visits: Chris Perondi. Quail Ridge Books, 4209-100 Lassiter Mill Rd., Raleigh.

2 p.m. FREE. Chris Perondi discusses his step-by-step guide to more than 100 dog tricks. He and his dog Vinny demonstrate several tricks in the book. All ages. quailridgebooks.com/event/perondi19.

Family Gardening Series: Hooray for Herbs.

North Carolina Botanical Garden, 100 Old Mason Farm Rd., Chapel Hill. 1-2:15 p.m. $9/child member, $10/child nonmember.

Planting some favorite sweet and savory plants such as rosemary, mint and chives, and create an herb basket to take home. ncbg.unc.edu.

Family Nature Journaling. Blue Jay Point County Park, 3200 Pleasant Union Church Rd., Raleigh. 10-11:30 a.m. FREE. Take a hike with artist and educator Wende Essrow, and journal observations and feelings. Ages 5 and older. Registration required. wakegov.com/parks/bluejay.

Mill Tours: Corn Grinding Demonstrations and Costumed Tours. Historic Yates Mill County Park, 4620 Lake Wheeler Rd., Raleigh. 10 a.m.-noon, 1-4 p.m. $5/adult, $3/ages 7-16. Free for ages 6 and younger. Step back in time with 19th-century costumed interpreters and watch the millstones grind corn into meal. Registration encouraged. wakegov.com/parks/yatesmill.

Recreational Adventures: Country Dancing in the Mill Yard. Historic Yates Mill County Park, 4620 Lake Wheeler Rd., Raleigh. Noon-12:45 p.m. FREE. Join costumed interpreters Jon and Karena Potter in learning 19th-century country

dances. Registration not required. wakegov.com/parks/yatesmill.

Seasons on a Farm: Tending the Crop.

Historic Yates Mill County Park, 4620 Lake Wheeler Rd., Raleigh. 1-5 p.m.

FREE. See a tabletop display about the many tasks 19th-century farmers and their families would be doing each month as part of life on a farm. Make a dandelion craft to take home. All ages. Drop-in program; registration not required. wakegov.com/parks/yatesmill.

SuperFun Saturday. Halle Cultural Arts Center, 237 N. Salem St., Apex. 10:30 a.m.12:30 p.m. FREE. Ages 4-12 with caregiver enjoy arts and crafts. thehalle.org.

Tales and Trails: Stories Around the Campfire. Stevens Nature Center/ Hemlock Bluffs, 2616 Kildaire Farm Rd., Cary. 7:30-9 p.m. $18/resident, $24/ nonresident. Discover what’s happening in nature as the sun sets and listen to stories around a campfire. All ages with adult.

Register online. Choose course #121589. classweb.townofcary.org.

19 SUNDAY 4th Annual JUST TRYAN IT Kids Triathlon.

Chapel Hill Country Club, 103 Lancaster Dr., Chapel Hill. 9 a.m.-noon. $55/child.

Ages 6-14 swim, walk and run to benefit Just Tryan It, an organization dedicated to supporting families facing pediatric cancer event. Proceeds benefit families at UNC and Duke Children’s Hospital. All abilities welcome; kickboards and training wheels permitted. Register online. justtryanit.org.

Babies On The MOVE: Master Movers. Open Arts, 1222 Copeland Oaks Dr., Morrisville.

11-11:45 a.m. $24/child. Take part in a class that teaches individualized ways to foster motor development for ages 7-12 months. Learn about carry positions, best positions for a baby, and how to help a child learn to crawl, walk and more.

Register online. babiesonthemoverdu.com.

Babies On The MOVE: Mini Movers. Open Arts, 1222 Copeland Oaks Dr., Morrisville.

10-10:45 a.m. $24/child. Take part in a class that teaches individualized ways to foster motor development for newborns-6 months. Learn about tummy

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CALENDAR MAY 2019 time alternatives, best positions for a baby, and how to help a child learn to sit, roll and more. Register online. babiesonthemoverdu.com.

Mill Tours: Corn Grinding Demonstrations and Costumed Tours. See May 18.

1-4 p.m.

Seasons on a Farm: Tending the Crop.

See May 18.

20 MONDAY Kids Get Crafty: Spring Flowers. Crowder County Park, 4709 Ten-Ten Rd., Apex.

11 a.m.-noon. FREE. Make a craft bursting with color inspired by nature. Materials provided. All ages with adult. Registration not required. Meet at the Cardinal Shelter. wakegov.com/parks/crowder.

Specialized Recreation: Cooking Shrimp Creole. Herbert C. Young Community Center, 101 Wilkinson Ave., Cary. 3:45-5:15 p.m. $19/resident, $24/nonresident. Ages 11 and older with disabilities make New Orleans creole.

Register online. Choose course #120057. classweb.townofcary.org.

21 TUESDAY Discovery Table: Extraordinary Turtles.

Historic Yates Mill County Park, 4620 Lake Wheeler Rd., Raleigh. 8:30 a.m.5 p.m. FREE. Meet the park’s live turtle ambassador, Frankie. Play turtle games, make crafts and head out into the park to observe turtles in nature. All ages. Dropin program; registration not required. wakegov.com/parks/yatesmill.

22 WEDNESDAY Discovery Table: Extraordinary Turtles.

See May 21.

Lil Cooks in the Kitchen: “Doughnuts for a Dragon.” Herbert C. Young Community Center, 101 Wilkinson Ave., Cary. 4-5:30 p.m. $23/resident, $30/ nonresident. Discover the joy of cooking with storybook characters. Ages 3-5 with parent. Register online. Choose course #120084. classweb.townofcary.org.

“Rumplestiltskin.” Century Center, 100 N. Greensboro St., Carrboro. 10:30-11:30 a.m.

FREE. Enjoy the classic story as presented

by Rags to Riches Theatre for Young Audiences. carrbororec.org.

A Side of History: High Flying Kites. Historic Yates Mill County Park, 4620 Lake Wheeler Rd., Raleigh. 10-11:30 a.m. FREE. Learn about the forces that make kites fly and listen to the story of Benjamin Franklin and his kite. Make your own high-flying kite to try out in an open field. Ages 5 and older with adult. Registration required. wakegov.com/parks/yatesmill.

23 THURSDAY Art Lab. Orange County Public Library, 137 W. Margaret Ln., Hillsborough. 4-5 p.m.

FREE. Grades 3-5 explore a variety of art media. orangecountylibrary.org.

Discovery Table: Extraordinary Turtles.

See May 21.

Pizza and a Movie. Halle Cultural Center, 237 N. Salem St., Apex. 6-8 p.m. $5/person.

Free for ages 2 and younger. Enjoy a family-friendly movie and a slice or two of pizza. Purchase tickets online. thehalle.org.

Specialized Recreation: Karaoke and Potluck. Cary Senior Center, 120 Maury O’Dell Place, Cary. 6:30-8:30 p.m. $2/ resident, $3/nonresident. Ages 11 and older with special needs enjoy karaoke. Take a dish to share. Register online. Choose course #121043. classweb.townofcary.org.

24 FRIDAY Final Friday Event. Edison Johnson Community Center, 500 W. Murray Ave., Durham. 6-9 p.m. FREE. Relax in the courtyard with live music and food. All ages. dprplaymore.org.

Garden Storytime. See May 17.

25 SATURDAY Art in the Park: Summer Blooms. Historic Yates Mill County Park, 4620 Lake Wheeler Rd., Raleigh. 8:30 a.m.-5 p.m.

FREE. Make paper flowers and use them to decorate the center with them.

All ages with adult. Registration not required. wakegov.com/parks/yatesmill.

Discover the Park: Song Birds. Crowder County Park, 4709 Ten-Ten Rd., Apex.

1-3 p.m. FREE. Learn about songbirds at the display table located in the upper

playground. Drop-in program; registration not required. wakegov.com/parks/crowder.

Discover the Park: Walk in the Woods.

Crowder County Park, 4709 Ten-Ten Rd., Apex. 10-11 a.m. FREE. Take a walk in the woods and discover the animals and plants that call the park home. Help collect data for the Natural Resource Inventory Database and other citizen science projects. All levels welcome.

Ages 14 and older. Registration not required. Meet at the park office. wakegov.com/parks/crowder.

Mill Tours: Saturdays at the Old Mill Tours.

See May 4.

Recreational Adventures: Paddle the Pond.

Historic Yates Mill County Park, 4620 Lake Wheeler Rd., Raleigh. 11 a.m.noon. FREE. Learn basic canoeing skills before heading out to explore the pond’s many features, as seen only from the water. Canoes, paddles and life jackets are provided. Ages 5 and older with adult. Registration required. wakegov.com/parks/yatesmill.

26 SUNDAY Art in the Park: Summer Blooms.

See May 25.

Family Features: Animal Senses. Crowder County Park, 4709 Ten-Ten Rd., Apex.

2-3 p.m. FREE. Learn how animals use their senses to get around. Play games and make a smelly craft. All ages with adult. Registration required. wakegov. com/parks/crowder.

Mill Tours: Mill Heritage and Local History Tour. See May 5.

27 MONDAY Art in the Park: Summer Blooms.

See May 25.

Mill Tours: Mill Heritage and Local History Tour. See May 5.

28 TUESDAY Art in the Park: Summer Blooms.

See May 25.

Natural Explorations: Spring Flower Walk. Historic Yates Mill County Park, 4620 Lake Wheeler Rd., Raleigh. 11 a.m.-noon. FREE. Stroll around the

pond while searching for the many wildflowers that are in bloom. Learn how flowers function and hear the latest buzz about local pollinators. All ages with adult. Registration required. wakegov.com/parks/yatesmill.

29 WEDNESDAY Art in the Park: Summer Blooms.

See May 25.

30 THURSDAY Hemlock Nature Quest: Birds of Hemlock Bluffs. Stevens Nature Center/Hemlock Bluffs, 2616 Kildaire Farm Rd., Cary.

9-10:30 a.m. $12/resident, $16/ nonresident. Search for birds at the bluffs Ages 13-15. Register online. Choose course #119075. classweb.townofcary.org.

31 FRIDAY Crowder by Night: Amazing Amphibians.

Crowder County Park, 4709 Ten-Ten Rd., Apex. 7:30-8:30 p.m. FREE. Listen to a chorus of frogs and toads as the sun sets. Learn facts about amphibians, play froggy bingo and make a froggy craft. All ages with adult. Registration required. Meet at the Heron Shelter. wakegov.com/parks/crowder.

Garden Storytime. See May 17.

CALENDAR POLICY The Carolina Parent calendar lists local and regional activities for children and families. Visit carolinaparent.com/calendar to submit an event for consideration by the 6th of the month for the next month’s issue. Please call ahead to confirm dates and times.

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Luke (6) and Gabriel (3) enjoy Dippin’ Dots at the Carolina Hurricanes alumni game in Raleigh.

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