Making friends
with the demon
What do you do when the glass half full spills over? When an eternal optimist and local businessman experienced breaking point, Journalist Emily Miller asks what it was that brought him back
“I
am an optimist, I like to look at things positively, even in the face of challenges. Sometimes though this can get too much, and things have gotten on top of me before.” Recalling his breaking point some years previously Joel LaRosa, the director at Joel LaRosa Design and judge on the BBC’s The Best House in Town, told me how he found his way back, and then applied these growth areas to himself when he was headed into similar territory just a few months ago. “I have a supportive wife for a start, but also I learnt ways to bring myself back to an even keel. I take a step back, slow down a little. But mostly I have learnt to develop a respect for my anxiety. “It’s me living with my anxiety basically, by acknowledging that it’s a part of me I feel like I can have some control over it. My dad has said in the past;
‘don’t try and get the monkey off your back, look after it, feed it bananas, love and respect it’ I always think of that, by not striving to rid myself of it completely – and making friends with the demon on my shoulder – it takes the pressure off, which can be detrimental to my overall mental health.” Taking himself away from the stresses of a successful business and busy flourishing home life, Joel also cites the importance of a hobby which takes him away for a little while. “I like to tinker, whether it’s renovating some furniture for our home or trying to fix something, it takes me away and I have a moment of solace to myself to reboot and recharge”. These ways of approaching his mental health are what helped him to ‘climb out of the lows’ he experienced just a short while ago, that and a realisation that his anxiety was
DON’T TRY AND GET THE MONKEY OFF YOUR BACK, LOOK AFTER IT, FEED IT BANANAS, LOVE AND RESPECT IT
high functioning and that the only way forward is to ‘talk and take a step back’. “Me and my wife don’t stop talking, it was how I was raised, to talk about things. When I ask why he feels it’s important for men to do so, to open up, he replies: “It’s especially important for men to seek help and talk. From my perspective, they appear to be the ones who are neglected from this support yet they are often the bracket experiencing high pressures at home and work – that they are deemed to be supposed to be in control of everything.” After these experiences Joel expresses how much he has learnt about himself: “I’ve found ways to keep things in check, to let go of the pressure and above all, be myself authentically. It takes guts to know your true self, to express yourself and show up as yourself completely – I am proud of who I am today.” NICHE | 51
