OMTimes Magazine December B 2017 Edition

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December B 2017

Cover Story

Relationships

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Cheryl Richardson - Waking Up In Winter

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Spirituality 42 46

Communicating and Communing with Nature Is Forgiveness a Choice?

OM Living 52 56 60 64 68

Do Animals Have Souls Why Ethics for Non- Humans, Matters How to Relax into Receiving Love Finding the Spirit of the Holidays Within Claiming Our Place in Troubled Times

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What True Love Really Looks Like Coping with Holiday Expectations Helicopter Parents Could Be to Blame For Our Kids' Mental-Health Crisis

Personal Growth 94

The Gentle Rhythm of Harmlessness 100 The Power to Inspire 106 Getting into the 'Holiday Spirit' 365 Days A Year

Cheryl Richardson

Waking up in Winter Do these words describe you?

You’ve come to a point in your life where you begin to question what’s happened before and what’s yet to come.

Whether you are in your 30s, your 40s, 50s or older, there are times that these deep and profound questions and

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thoughts are at the forefront of our consciousness.

What steps can we take to lead the lives that we consciously choose and find personal, professional, emotional and spiritual fulfillment?

My very special guest, the New York Times Best Selling Author of Life Makeovers and Take Time For Your Life and beloved spiritual teacher Cheryl Richardson found herself asking these same questions. She delivers her most intimate and profound work to date on the obstacles and opportunities of reaching mid-life in her new book, Waking up in Winter: In Search of What Really Matters in Mid Life. It is the breathtakingly candid account of the most impactful year of Cheryl’s life.

With passages that capture the intricacies of marriage, friendship, success, money, and self-care, Cheryl offers her experiences as an illustration of how to grow, reflect, laugh and change.

A lifelong journal writer, Cheryl

Richardson had been for years documenting her innermost thoughts, desires, and hopes. She recognized that these passages and reflections were exactly what her readers need for representing her teaching in action and life being lived.

Cheryl Richardson is the New York Times Best Selling author of several books. She was the first President of the International Coach Federation and holds one of their first Master Certified Coach credentials.

Her work has been covered widely in the media, including Good Morning America, The Today Show, CBS This Morning, New York Times, USA Today, Good Housekeeping and O Magazine.

She was the team leader for the Lifestyle Makeover series on the Oprah Winfrey Show, and she accompanied Ms. Winfrey on the Live Your Best Life Nationwide Tour. Cheryl also served as the co-executive producer and host of the Life Makeover Project with Cheryl Richardson on the Oxygen Network and as the co-executive producer and host of two public television specials, Stand Up Omtimes.com

For Your Life and Create an Abundant Life.

Cheryl Richardson: Thank you so much, Victor. It’s great to be here with you.

Victor Fuhrman: And thank you. We like to find out how they arrived on their life path.

Now, were you born to become who you’ve become, or was there something different in your life? Please share your story with our readers.

Cheryl Richardson: I will say that, very early on in my life, I had a real hunger for selfknowledge and learning. I really value education and growth, personal growth. So, in some ways, I do feel like my life that has unfolded before me really reflects something I was connected to very early on. That might have something to do with journaling because I did start keeping a journal when I was 12, and without realizing it at the time, that would become this tool for self-reflection and selfunderstanding.

I have always been a gal who’s been interested in checking under

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the hood. And over time, keeping a journal would go from just tracking what I did during my day, like a diary, to really exploring my feelings and my thoughts about things and recognizing that in journaling and just free writing. I could tap into wisdom and insight that was really important to me and learn things about myself that I didn’t know until I put pen to the page.

So, yeah, my whole life has just been one lengthy inquiry into what makes me tick, what makes human beings tick. I mean, in a lot of ways, my work as a coach really was kind of the next level of taking what I was doing in my own life and bringing it out to the world and working with individuals and then eventually groups and then eventually speaking to larger audiences.

And then technology comes, right, and suddenly were able to communicate with people all over the world. And I’ve just been sharing my own journey, my own inquiry process with readers in the hopes that it helps them in some ways. And, thank God, so far, so good.

Victor Fuhrman: Isn’t that

the key to being a teacher or mentor of any kind of is that you take what you’ve garnered in life, the good and the bad, and then share that with others so that they can learn from your experience?

Cheryl Richardson: Well, I do believe, the old saying we teach what we have to learn, I think is true. I think that we also need to be committed to mastery, not that you ever arrive or get fully cooked. I don’t think so. I mean, life is just ever evolving in that way. But, as a teacher, I must really be deeply committed to and connected to my own personal growth and my own personal development. In doing so, I needed to be able to teach from a wealth of experience that reflected arriving someplace, and accomplishing some kind of understanding. So really teaching along the way as I’ve gone through certain experiences, but then also, in my books, ultimately, the books reflect what I’ve learned and how it’s worked in my life and how my life has changed as a result of what I practice.

So, yeah, I think that that’s--I

think it’s really important to walk your talk. The best teachers do that because they have the best influence on their audience.

Victor Fuhrman: Absolutely.

Victor Fuhrman: Let’s talk a little bit about journaling. Was journaling a natural process for you? Was that something that just started flowing from you, or was that something that you had to teach yourself?

Cheryl Richardson: Well, Victor, because I really did start when I was 12, and I remember, I often like a joke when I’m teaching writers, I laugh and say my very first entries, because I still have it, was a poem. I wrote a lot of poetry in the beginning. I think that was the was the way that I was trying to capture the essence of my life without realizing it and just trying to just, capture the events of my life. I see it’s such a reflection of me. Like I have this weird sense of humor and this commitment to fully being alive.

And then over the years, journaling became a whole bunch of different things.

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Sometimes, it was just writing about my day. Sometimes, it was writing song lyrics and then writing poetry. Sometimes, it was, copying down favorite quotes that I had seen because I wanted to be able to go back and read them or writing affirmations, although I didn’t call it that.

I remember one year, I spent a whole year just writing letters to God in my journal because I was trying to establish a new relationship with God that was different than the religion of my youth. One time, I spent a whole year, at the end of the day, I would make a list of 10 things that brought me pleasure that day to reconnect with the importance of pleasure in my life.

Victor Fuhrman: You consider writing to be an art form, don’t you?

Cheryl Richardson: I do, and I consider myself an artist, and writing is important to me, the craft of writing.

Victor Fuhrman: Absolutely. So, your words on the page are to

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you what the canvass is a great artist.

Cheryl Richardson: And yet I’m not a literary writer, but I do want to capture the truth of what it means to be a human being on planet Earth. I want people to feel like we’re sitting in our living room together, and you’re listening to me talk, we have an intimate conversation, and then it’s easy and accessible, but also that you don’t feel alone, you feel like, God, she gets it. I’ve been through what she’s going through. And to me, that’s the highest form of feedback is for somebody to say, wow, I feel like you really get what’s going on for me, and I’m comforted by that.

Victor Fuhrman: Cheryl, you write in Waking up in Winter that May Sarton both influenced and inspired you.

Share a little more about who this poet and author were for our listeners who may not be familiar with May and how she touched your life.

Cheryl Richardson: I think it was in the ‘80s, so I was in my late 20s, and I happened

to stumble upon a book she had written called Journal of the Solitude, and it was about a year in the life of a creative woman. And I was already writing at the time, but I was just starting to think about publishing my work, becoming a “professional writer.”

And so, I stumbled upon this journal, and I thought, oh, this is great to be able to read about a writer’s, like a real writer who’s been published life would be awesome. And I was so captivated by the journal forum, and of course, I had been keeping a journal, so I was captivated by that process. But, I felt like I was reading the intimate details of this woman’s life.

And we shared a lot of things that a lot of interests - animals, nature, the ocean, writing, women’s issues. And I loved her book. So, she was a poet, but she wrote fiction, non-fiction, a whole series of journals throughout her life all the way through ‘83 when she died. Her last journal was called At 83.

And she really captured her life

experiences on the page. One journal was called House by the Sea and was when she leased this house right on the water in Maine, and she talked about moving to this place and what her life was like involved with the ocean. And one journal was called Recovery, and it was when she had had I think a stroke or a heart attack and was recovering through that.

I was fascinated by her journals, and I couldn’t wait to get the next one and to read it. I don’t know it’s just my thing, I guess I felt like she was a friend, and I felt like I was living life alongside her, and I was learning a lot about what it meant to be a professional writer before I would ever publish a book. She wrote about topics that a lot of people didn’t write about and had opinions and wasn’t afraid to share them.

She also had very powerful literary friends like Virginia Wolfe. And so, it was a fascinating world to me.

It was my husband Michael who said to me, just sort of offhanded over dinner one

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night with friends, why don’t you just publish a journal. You love May Sarton. You always write in your journals. Like, why don’t you just do that? But, I knew in my heart it was the right thing.

Victor Fuhrman: You begin your journey in Waking up in Winter with autumn. What does autumn mean to you, both as a season and as a time of life?

the end of the journal, I realized that autumn really is a time of life is a time when we harvest the experiences that we’ve had.

We go back, and we look at what’s worked in my life, what hasn’t, what have been the meaningful people, experiences, choices that I’ve made and what can I sort of call from those experiences that I can bring forward with me into this next full stage of my life.

Cheryl Richardson: Well, we’re in the middle of autumn right now where I am. And, the first thing autumn means to me is often sadness. I mean, I’ll just be honest that I’m a gardener, and I love the sun, I love the light. I’m passionate about light.

It’s so interesting, Victor, because now, now that we’re living so much longer than we used to, to me, in a lot of ways, autumn is the third stage of life, right, the third period before winter where we then prepare for our death.

And so, autumn means it gets darker, right, we turn the clocks back, the garden starts to wither.

And so, at the beginning of this book when I’m writing about autumn, I’m writing about the sort of sadness that seeps in and feels like, oh, gosh, winter’s just winter is imminent, and this is a time when things start to wither and die.

So, autumn is a rich, if there is richness in sadness. There is beauty in sadness, and then there’s also richness and beauty in taking the time to stop and look back and really capture the wisdom and the insight of our life experiences so that we move forward in our lives in a very conscious and deliberate way.

And by the end of the book, by

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Victor Fuhrman: Autumn for me personally has always been

very bittersweet. Twenty years ago, actually, this autumn, my former partner, Judy had gone into the final stages of cancer and passed away January of 1998. And she and I used to take these trips up the East Coast of the United States in the fall, in autumn, and specifically to see the foliage change and to feel that crisp autumn air and just be in that environment and atmosphere.

Through that relationship, I grew so much through that wonderful relationship. And we had only three years together, and in those three years we had together, we lived a lifetime. As a result of our time together that I’m just grateful for her presence in my life. And autumn is now not as mournful or sad as it was for me. And that’s why I shared that the season could be at any time in our life. It doesn’t necessarily have to be in our 50s or 60s. And any time that there’s a major transition in our life is a time to stop and reflect on that transition and see what’s coming up for us.

Cheryl Richardson: Like the late 20s, the Saturn return

for people is often a time where people begin a descent because they’ve got all these expectations of themselves, and I find the spiritual pioneers are often not living by convention at that time, and so they feel like there’s something wrong with them. And that can really inspire this deep reevaluation period, too.

So, yeah, it’s all a very wonderful adventure when you see it through the lens of our own personal and spiritual growth.

Victor Fuhrman: So, you’re a successful self-help author and coach, world-famous New York Times Best Selling Author, helping others to achieve their dreams. What was it like when you reached that point in your life when you were not motivated to write, and you began questioning everything?

Cheryl Richardson: Well, it was real. One of the hardest things to question was my work.

I remember, there was a point when I had just started going back and editing the journal, right? I mean, I spent two years debating on whether to publish

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this. And I remember a couple of things - in the thick of the descent period of the hero’s journey. So, I think of the hero’s journey as a three-stage process generally. There’s the descent where what has worked for us before no longer works, and we know we can’t live the life we’re living, but we have no idea where we’re headed to, and we start to reevaluate everything.

And it doesn’t feel great. It’s really, it’s hard.

We go from the descent into the mystery, and this is where we all need to really learn how to be in this place of mystery.

Being in the mystery means you kind of are going through a dark night of the soul, a dark period where you don’t know who you are, you don’t know who you’re gonna be when you emerge. You don’t know where you’re headed because you’re so focused on letting go of what no longer serves you.

I’m a self-help author, for crying out loud. I’ve been teaching this stuff, and right now, I’m really sucking at it. I’m not good with my self-care, or I’m scared about change, or I’m lost, I’m in

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the mystery part of the hero’s journey, and I’m lost, and I don’t know what to do.

There’s a purpose to this meandering, and I’m gonna stay in this mysterious place.

I can promise you, if there’s one message, there are many messages I want to give to the audience, but one message that’s so important is when you are in that mystery when you’re leaving a life that no longer works for you. You don’t know where you’re headed, the longer we can stay in that mystery, the better the life on the other end will be because too many of us want to shortcircuit that journey.

We want to just get that new job or enter that new relationship or move or do something because it feels so uncomfortable to be in the mystery.

But, if you can wait, especially later in life and really give yourself time, the life that emerges from that I think is so far more deeply reflective of the soul and you don’t have to

go back and correct a bunch of stuff either.

So, learning to be in the mystery is a real art form in and of itself.

Victor Fuhrman: Cheryl, you worked with Hay House in the past, and you wrote You Can Create an Exceptional Life with the late great Louise Hay. She didn’t start Hay House until she was in her 60s. Does that inspire you about the years to come?

Cheryl Richardson: It’s a funny question. I have been using that story to inspire people for a long time, especially since Louise and I wrote the book together.

I’m inspired by it, and I’m also intimidated by it. I don’t know what the right word is, but let me just say this: Yes, I think that one of the messages that are so important to be conveyed to people is that, life doesn’t end when you reach 50 or, a lot of us, 50 sorts of feels like mid-life.

And I have a good friend of mine who’s a comedian, and he always talks about how you turn 50, and you think, okay, that’s it, I’m gonna die.

Like, that’s your whole focus is

just on death and dying. And nowadays, you really do have a chance to have a whole new life. Louise was such an example of that start this and what would become the largest selfhelp publishing company in the world, starting it at 60 years old.

And I also, for myself, want to really honor a period of downtime where there is a pulling inward, a period of deep reflection. I think that we need to encourage that more and support that more.

If there is going to be this next reemergence or awakening of some sort or new focus in life, the chances of it being aligned with the desires of the soul will be greater if we also take a period where we pull back, and we really reflect on the life that we’ve lived. I guess that’s what I really want to encourage.

There’s a lot of people dealing with aging parents, for example, right now who don’t want to talk about death, they aren’t prepared in any way for the end of their lives, are maybe irritable, angry, difficult, negative. I mean, I hear this from people dealing

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with aging parents.

Victor Fuhrman: The beautiful thing about being able to have elderly parents, especially those who still have their mental vitality and are conversational, is that you can learn a lot by listening. Just, a lot of us growing up have a lot of issues with our parents when we’re growing and being rebellious and so on. And sometimes, as we approach their senior years, just sit and give them an opportunity to share their story with you.

Cheryl Richardson: Yes. My dad died a year ago. He died in November of 2016. And one of the things he did about, oh, maybe ten, maybe five years before he died is he started to write his life story, and every Christmas, he would give all of us, I’m one of seven children, he would give each of us a chapter of his life.

And I was amazed. Dad never got to finish his life. I think he made it up through probably right around the age of 50, but I learned things about my father I never knew that

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was amazing and that really changed, completely changed my perspective on who he was as a man, changed my perspective in my childhood, changed my perspective on our relationship.

Victor Fuhrman: And the gift of listening, just to give people the sacred space to tell their story and to be there to listen to them.

Cheryl Richardson: Yeah, and record the stories. I mean, don’t be afraid to record those stories, if they’ll give you permission to do so because they will be so priceless.

Victor Fuhrman: Cheryl, in all your books and audios and videos, speaking and coaching, you’ve always encouraged people with ways to become their best selves and to find grace in daily life and in building the life of their choosing. Do you think that all the tools you’ve shared in the past work for the over 50 crowd?

Do we need a new roadmap in finding what’s important?

Cheryl Richardson: I’ll be honest with you, I think every single book that I’ve written,

every workshop that I’ve delivered or every audio that I’ve created of a workshop when I think about the workshop I did with Louise--there’s a DVD called You Can Trust Your Life.

And Louise and I did a two-day workshop in London together before a few years before she died. She was in her 80s.

The material that we were sharing was just as applicable to somebody in their 80s or 90s as it was to somebody in their early 20s and teens. I mean, she was one of these amazing women in that people would come to our workshops, and there would be three generations, three generations of people.

And so, this next stage of my writing in my life is really about the art of writing, the art of living each day as if it were our last in some ways and really using--the soul is here to experience life, not to accomplish anything. It’s here to experience life. And I want to experience as much of it as I possibly can, and I want to share that experience with my readers.

Victor Fuhrman: Is there a

point in life that we should just let go of the dreams that never came true, or should we never let go of our most important dreams but modify them or change our perception of things?

Cheryl Richardson: I think what’s important is that we, on a consistent basis, we evaluate our dreams, we reevaluate where we are. We really don’t take the time to stop, get quiet, spend time alone, really looking at, okay, what are my goals moving forward. Are they my dreams and goals, are they my desires? What is it that I desire now at this point in my life? And I think we really have to reevaluate that and look more deeply at the answers to those questions so that we know that we’re authentically today, not who we used to be or who we think we should be.

Living an examined life is deeply important. To check under the hood, right, our willingness to our commitment to our own evolution, to the soul’s evolution and to remember that the soul is here to experience life, the good and the bad, the easy and the hard, the painful and the joyful.

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Simply Spiritual To perceive reality from a different perspective is to open oneself to the wonders and unlimited wealth of creation. Simply Spiritual offers the opportunity to visit new places, new methods, and different ways to perceive the vast human knowledge of our Universe.

Communicating and Communing with Nature Recognize that simply being in or near nature can bring you information about your health and be “medicine” for you in ways you might not expect—as my client, Brendan came to see when he stood quietly and made a connection with a tree while waiting to receive health

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test results. As you observe a snowfall through the window of a quiet room, you might feel moved to dialogue with the experience and let it inform you about your health.

You may get a message about purity, innocence, freshness, or a new beginning. You might realize you need to slow down and be less distracted. Even if you only intended to sit for a while and observe the snow falling, you might begin to realize you and your health are part of a larger whole of nature and that remembering this truth will help you experience greater wellness.

One winter evening, I took a walk and was looking at a waxing moon, which was about half full. It would appear and disappear in the sky, as the clouds passed in front of it. I paused to interact and dialogue with it to discover what it could teach me about my health story. I was reminded of how some things can be present but not visible— things that contribute to poor health and to good health. I understood that if I intend to see them, and I remain vigilant, I can catch glimpses of the

invisible world and the wisdom it holds for me. Soon after this, I was diagnosed with prostate cancer, which was present but not visible, just like the moon behind the cloud.

Taking advantage of opportunities to reconnect with nature and its elements can give you insights and energies for healing. Even if you may have seen many snowfalls or thunderstorms in your life, you might want to pause the next time you experience one. Open yourself to what it might bring you— messages, a renewed feeling of gratitude, or something else. I also suggest that when you use expanded-awareness practices in nature, you consider beginning by opening sacred space, cleansing your energy field, and doing mindful breathing, and then closing sacred space afterward. Should you receive any messages from the snow, rain, sky, clouds, or ground, consider thanking them, as this shows respect for the wisdom of nature.

If it has been a while since you have spent time in nature, connecting to its healing Omtimes.com

powers, you might want to do the following simple expanded-awareness practice, which can help you connect with the energy of the sun.

Do you long to feel its rays upon your skin? In writing about an indigenous African ritual for greeting the sunrise, Carl Jung said, “The longing for light is the longing for consciousness.”11 When was the last time you made a point of watching a sunrise? What are you missing by taking for granted that since the sun will rise again tomorrow, you can always catch a sunrise some other day?

The following simple expanded-awareness practice requires no preparation other than planning to find a place to greet the sun as it rises.

Expanded-awareness practice: sun greeting Plan to awaken before dawn to watch the sunrise in a natural area where you can fully appreciate the experience with an unobstructed view. As soon as you can upon arising, go outside to greet the sun as it begins to spread light Omtimes.com

upward from the horizon, filling the sky.

Be fully present as you soak in its light and warmth. Imagine it is observing and greeting you, just as you are observing and greeting it.

Become mindful of your breathing. Then, as you face the east, salute the sun, adopting whatever posture feels right to you.

You might want to do a yoga pose such as the sun salutation, or you can simply extend your arms out to your side, with your palms up, and thrust your chest forward.

Open yourself up to the sun’s energy. Look out at the horizon or sky and then close your eyes so you can turn your face fully toward the sun.

Notice the sensation of your breathing and the sensation of the sun as it strikes your skin and its light penetrates your eyelids.

Try not to consciously create thoughts about what is happening; simply be present to the experience,

and continue to focus on your breath.

You might open your eyes and watch the changing colors of the sky, but do not directly gaze at the sun, as this can damage your eyes.

Ask the sun, “What message do you have for me about my health?”

Wait for the answer. Be open to the form of the answer.

It may simply be an inner knowing, or it may be a word or an image that comes to you.

Ask the sun, “What do I need to release to help me live according to a better health story?” Ask it, too, what you need to bring in for that purpose. You might also ask, “What in me needs to be nourished so that it may grow?”

Each time, wait for an answer before posing the next question. When you sense it is the right time to end your ritual of interaction with the energy of the sun, open your eyes. Thank the sun for its messages and energy.

After you have used this practice, journal about it. Did you receive any insights that you found helpful? What was it like for you to have this experience?

Expanded-awareness practices such as this one can be used to work co-creatively with the energies in nature, accessing their healing properties. If you do not get a clear, direct answer to your inquiries about your health when you are in nature and trying to communicate with it, remain present to the experience and simply observe what you are feeling and sensing. Later, you can choose to do a dialogue and learn more.

The following expandedawareness practice, to be done out in nature, is a technique for tapping into the wisdom of the unconscious mind. It is similar to the Jungian sand tray technique and Native American sand paintings created for healing purposes by people of the Navajo, Zuni, Hopi, and Plains tribes, but here I am calling it a “nature painting” because it might not involve sand as one of its elements.

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Is Forgiveness a Choice?

By John Holland

Whenever I walk on stage to give a lecture, the second part is often the demonstration. Most people come with the hope of connecting with someone who has passed. I generally begin by saying: “I understand that all of you would love a message but isn’t there someone here, living, right now in your life that you need to reach out to, connect with or forgive?”

I feel this is a poignant

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comment to make, so as not to forget those around us today.

I feel life is short enough as it is and I would not want someone one day to say: “Maybe I should have, could have or would have.”

The act of forgiveness in its own right is incredibly powerful. It’s easy to say, “I forgive,” but I’m not talking about just the words here. It’s not an occasional action or throwaway comment, but more

a permanent attitude of mind.

Above all, it can heal past wounds, whether accidental or intentional. I’m sure you’ve heard the expression “forgive and forget” but don’t dismiss it too quickly. Many of us still try to forget, push it away, or better still, try not to think about some hurt that was done to us in the past. We live in the hope that our heart will heal on its own and any bad feelings will just fade away.

Sadly, this approach doesn’t always work. By holding onto anger or the resentment toward others as well as yourself, the feelings begin to worsen on a vibrational or energetic level. If you’ve been hurt in the past, and you’re holding onto negative feelings, they can take their toll on your emotional, physical, and spiritual well-being. Psychological effects include depression, tension, anxiety, and stress. Your whole cardiovascular, digestive, muscular, and nervous system can all be affected. Some people hold on these feelings for weeks, months, years, or in the most severe cases for the rest of their lives.

Often times people generally have to blame someone. In these cases, people become accustomed to a

life filled with rage, hurt, anger, and bitterness. They assume the personality of that energy, and the negative emotions become who they are. Here’s an interesting scenario. If all those feelings were confiscated, who would that person become?

As we’re all made up of energy, we end up holding on to these emotions of pain and anger.

We resonate specific vibrations by the natural laws of “ As like attracts like.” We end up attracting others who have the same issues and problems. This is another example of energy drain, which I call soul leakage. For many, especially when the hurt is deep, it’s impossible to imagine forgiving someone who’s caused such physical, mental, or emotional pain.

Making the conscious decision to start the forgiveness process is the first step in letting go of the pain and marks the beginning of the healing process. When we forgive, we can get back to loving ourselves, and start to vibrate at a higher level through our heart center and attract love in many forms. Now wouldn’t you rather be attracting that into your life instead of pain and negativity?

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OM Living For those living a more Conscious Lifestyle

DoAnimals Have Souls?

By Rev. Will Tuttle, Ph.D.

There is a hot-selling book by Gary Zukav, entitled Seat of the Soul, which is highly esteemed and discussed by many people who consider themselves progressive, open-minded, and Omtimes.com

spiritually aware. Someone gave me a copy recently, and I browsed through it. When I came to the chapter entitled “Souls,” I was disturbed by Zukav’s proclamation that

only humans have individual souls, and that every animal is part of what he refers to as the “group soul” of its species.

“Each human being has a soul.

The journey toward individual soulhood is what distinguishes the human kingdom from the animal kingdom. Animals do not have individual souls. They have group souls. Each cat is a part of the group soul of a cat, and so on.” He also says that there is a hierarchy within the group souls of animals and that dolphins and apes are higher than dogs which are higher than horses, and so forth. He offers no evidence, though, for his hypotheses.

This book appears to be another wave in the sea of literature our culture has produced that tries to justify humanity’s abuse of animals on spiritual grounds.

Readers of Zukav’s book are nodoubt comforted knowing that the chicken, fish, cow, or pig they are eating or wearing was not really an individual with a soul, but just an expression of its species’ “group soul.” It seems unfortunate and ironic that this national bestseller which

purports to elucidate spirituality and raise consciousness actually does the opposite, deadening its readers’ sensibilities and blinding them to the reality of the suffering that individual animals experience because we reduce them to objects, mere fractions of a hypothetical “group soul.”

It harkens back to an earlier era in this country when the similar wording was used by religious leaders, Bibles in hand, proclaiming that black people had no individual souls, that they merely had a group soul. It harkens back also to Thomas Aquinas who, a thousand years ago, proclaimed that animals have no souls, nor do women have souls. Though women were granted souls, it appears that those in power decide who have souls, for their own purposes.

Voltaire wisely said, “If we believe absurdities, we will commit atrocities.” Culture is the product of conversations.

I urge all vegans to speak up and to reject the absurdities like Zukav’s that parade as

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spirituality. To stop the atrocities, we must awaken from these best-selling and comforting rationalizations and challenge the ingrained cultural notions.

These less-known words by Swami Prabhupada reveal an alternative to Zukav.

“Some people say, ‘we believe that animals have no soul.’

That is not correct. They believe animals have no soul because they want to eat the animals, but actually, animals do have a soul.”

Reporter: “How do you know that the animal has a soul?”

Prabhupada: “You can know, also. Here is the scientific proof.

The animal is eating, you are eating; the animal is sleeping, you are sleeping; the animal is defending, you are defending; the animal is having sex, you are having sex; the animals have children, you have children; you have a living place, they have a living place. If the animal’s body is cut, there is blood; if your body is cut, there is blood. So all these similarities are there. Now, why do you

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deny this one similarity, the presence of the soul? That is not logical. You have studied logic?

In logic, there is something called an analogy. Analogy means drawing a conclusion by finding many points of similarity.

If there are so many points of similarity between human beings and animals, why deny one similarity? That is not logic.

That is not science.”

The great philosopher Schopenhauer, in criticizing how some Christians treat animals, wrote, “Shame on such a morality that fails to recognize the eternal essence that exists in every living thing, and shines forth with inscrutable significance from all eyes that see the sun.” All of us are celebrations of infinite mysterious Spirit, deserving of honor and respect.

Will Tuttle, Ph.D., composer, pianist, Zen priest, and author of The World Peace Diet is a co-founder of Karuna Music & Art and of the Prayer Circle for Animals and Circle of Compassion ministry. http:// circleofcompassion.org/

Why Ethics for NonHumans, Matters.

By Cathedral Of the soul

We live in an ever-changing world, where we are active spectators to the progress of technology in our Digital Age which is changing our society one kilobyte at a time. At the same time, we are also witnessing the quick transformation of our environment and an accelerated pace of mass extinction to many of the animal species we share this planet with.

All education should be directed toward the refinement of the individual’s sensibilities in relation not only to one’s fellow

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humans everywhere but to all living things whatsoever. ~Ashley Montagu It is very sad to see that while the technological progresses, the globalized world does not translate into a more ethical society, where the lessening of suffering should have been actively pursued and morally prioritized.

Maybe the idea of Animal and Environmental Ministry could have been a source of disbelief and even disregard a couple of decades ago, but in our current society, the relationship with animals has shifted dramatically, not only at the personal level but also at the global level. This ministry is a doorway to a bigger understanding about the interconnection and interdependence of life, and the quest for more meaningful, mindful, and ethical Human relationships with all the sentient beings.

The Role of Animal Ministry and Animal Chaplains Many religions have precepts and recommendations on how to deal with our animal companions. The Bible is filled with references to the service and love of our animal

brothers. The Bible tells us, “A righteous man care for the needs of animals” (Proverbs 12:10).

Our Animal Chaplain curriculum is a comprehensive educational outreach which encompasses Human Living and Ethics of Life.

In many religious traditions, we are taught that our spirituality is closely knitted and, in many cases, intersecting the spiritual world of our animals.

We believe that is the Animal Chaplain’s duty to facilitate the integration and bond between all the sentient beings, i.e., Human beings and non-human beings.

Why Ethics for Non-Humans Matter “By ethical conduct toward all creatures, we enter into a spiritual relationship with the universe.” ~Albert Schweitzer We believe that education and understanding are essential to building a compassionate, integral, holistic society of the future, where the interdependency between all beings on the web of life is regarded as important, honored,

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and acknowledged as they are vital for the survival of the planet as a living organism.

The interfaith outreach of Animal Chaplains can provide essential services to communities on many levels. Services that are not only at the level of the council, support during life passages, grief and bereavement support, prayer for animals, but also animal blessings, consecrations, anointing of the sick, end of life proceedings, all of them inclusive in nature and encompassing as all matters of the heart.

The work of an Animal Chaplain is paramount when dealing with community services, churches, animal shelters, animal rescues, veterinarian practices, congregations, Non-Profit Animal Rights organizations, and fundraising events. Animals are much more than our planetary companions, they are also our teachers of unconditional love, interdependence, and compassionate living. Animal Ministry is also involved inside hospitals, prisons, nursing homes, and rehabilitation centers; bringing the curative characteristic of animals to those

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that need unconditional healing.

We believe that Animal Ministry can provide, through spiritual education, guidance, and awareness: the catalysts of integration of interspecies relationships deepening our human experience within our world.

How to Become an Animal Chaplain?

There are many paths to become an Animal Chaplain and start your Animal Ministry, especially if you are already an ordained minister. If you are involved as an animal activist, or somewhat involved with animal care in your community or congregation, you may want to take the coursework to become an Animal Ministry Leader. We invite you to visit our Animal and Ecological Ministry curriculum at our Cathedral of the Soul website. “The assumption that animals are without rights, and the illusion that our treatment of them has no moral significance, is a positively outrageous example of Western crudity and barbarity.

Universal compassion is the only guarantee of morality.� ~Arthur Schopenhauer

How to Relax into Receiving Love

By Jennie Lee

Because our wellbeing depends on our ability to give and receive love completely, we must release any and all beliefs that limit love.

Receiving is an acquired skill, just as giving is, and we need

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to become unconditionally receptive to love in all its forms.

Sometimes we block it as it comes to us from another because the way they choose to express it is not necessarily the way in which we most wish to receive it. For instance, someone may be capable of expressing love through a kind gesture but not through clear communication. If we can release judgment and allow ourselves to receive love as it is imparted, then we will feel an expansion. If we limit love to how it feels most comfortable or familiar to us, then we may miss many opportunities to receive it.

Part of allowing ourselves to be loved is opening to receive in ways that we may not have experienced before, and also be willing to offer love to another in a way that may feel unnatural to us, but meaningful to them. Every time we expand our ability to receive love, we simultaneously expand our ability to give love,

and vice versa.

If we intend to know ourselves as love, then any relationship in which we act lovingly will be fulfilling, because intention creates meaning. If not, then it does not matter how much attractiveness or compatibility might be present at first, over time, love will fade. The happiest relationships are those we relate to from our highest Self, and that foster our spiritual growth in this life.

Remember, we do not have to earn love. Love is always with us and around us, ours from our first breath. As we enlarge and clarify our consciousness, love emerges in new ways and shines through the barriers erected by our personal histories.

Anytime we are not aligned with love, we will notice tension, in mind, in the body, or in the heart. Muscular relaxation and mental surrender go hand in hand, and love is the greatest catalyst. As we still the restless

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mind through relaxation techniques and meditation, we create a receptive field within our beings to fully receive love.

This improves our health, energy, mental clarity, and relationships.

It diminishes pain, reactivity, fatigue, and fear.

To speak of love intellectually is not enough. We have to drop into the quiet space of meditation, cultivate a relaxed stillness within our hearts, and allow ourselves to feel that loving and being loved are actually one in the same.

A Meditation on Receiving Love Take a deep breath and release it fully. Allow your shoulders to relax and let tension drain from your face, your belly, and your neck. Scan the body for any other place of holding stress and gratefully notice any places that feel light and free. Simply witness yourself at this moment with kindness and compassion. Now, drop your awareness back a bit so the senses fade into the

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background and your view rests within. Imagine that you are a large container receiving love. See this container expanding more and more to take in more love. Visualize love expanding within you and around you until there are no boundaries left, just love.

Excerpt from Breathing Love: Meditation in Action

by Jennie Lee © 2018. Used by permission from Llewellyn Worldwide, Ltd. Jennie Lee is the author of Breathing Love and the award-winning True Yoga: Practicing with the Yoga Sutras for Happiness & Spiritual Fulfillment. A certified yoga therapist as well, Jennie has spent two decades coaching people in the healing tradition of classical yoga and meditation. Using the practices she writes about, Jennie counsels clients worldwide via Skype, helping them to create lives of greater joy. For more information visit Jennie Lee Yoga Therapy.

Finding the Spirit of the Holidays Within

By John Holland

Is the holiday season usually overly stressful for you? For many people, the answer is probably ‘Yes!’ When you stress out over the holidays with all the preparation, shopping, wrapping gifts, etc., you might easily lose sight of just what the holiday season supposed

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to mean. It should be a time of joy, love, sharing, merriment, magic, and for some, a spiritual experience. So, what can you do to feel the “spirit of the holidays” so that you truly enjoy this wonderful happy time?

What would make you happy and calm this holiday season? I find that making plans ahead of time helps to alleviate the anxiety and expectation of the holidays. Once I’ve done a bit of forwarding planning, I find I have space to think, and surprisingly, the spirit of the holidays slips into my soul when I least expect it. It can happen when I am decorating, planning an evening of entertaining with good friends, playing some holiday music or it can pop in out of the blue like it did the other day.

I was at the local store a few days ago, and I saw a mom with her young son looking at toys in one of the aisles. I could tell she didn’t have a lot of money and she was also heavily pregnant with another child. Her young son was wide-eyed as he looked at a video game system that he hoped his mom could buy. I

continued shopping, and when I was done, I went to the cash register to find the mom with her son standing in front of me.

I was pleased to see that she had the video game system on the counter. As the cashier was ringing up the game, the price that came up on the register was higher she’d thought! The cashier advised the woman that she was looking at the wrong price tag for the system. The video game system price was much higher than she thought it was and slowly took the system off the counter as she excused herself and slowly walked back to the toy aisle to put it back on the shelf. I could hear her son begin to cry because he was not going to get his special gift that day. She tried to comfort the boy and starting pointing out other toys that she could afford and hopefully one that he would enjoy.

I finished up at the cashier counter and felt drawn to walk over to see the mom. I could tell that he was a good kid. I don’t know why, but I felt that I just wanted to help.

I asked the mom, who looked a little startled at a total stranger approaching her: “He Omtimes.com

really wants that game system, doesn’t he?” His tears were the only answer I needed. You could see how much he loved his mom. I asked if I could help pay for the game system and she put her head down and said quietly: “I’m so sorry, but there’s no way I could take your money, but thank you.”

I felt she was just being polite by saying no and was saddened that she couldn’t buy this for her son. I instinctively reached into my pocket and put all the cash into her hand. She started to shake her head, and I told her, as her son was watching, to let me help her because her son was watching and I wanted to show him that there are people who care. “One day, he’ll remember this day, and hopefully he’ll be equally kind to another person who needs it.”

I walked out of the store with a tear in my eye because I knew that this video game system was not only going to make his day but would make it a memorable one. When I was a kid, holidays weren’t usually the happiest times in my home because of my dad’s drinking, and I wanted this young boy Omtimes.com

to feel the joy and the magical spirit of the holidays. By helping them feel the spirit – I too felt it warm me.

So, by planning ahead of what activities you may enjoy, whether it’s going to a craft fair, playing your favorite holiday music, attending a holiday concert or a religious or spiritual service; or even planning a gift swap can be such fun. None of these activities have to be expensive, but they’re great ways to relieve or reduce the stress that can come with the holidays. All you need to do is just plan a little, so you’re in control rather than letting the holiday season overwhelm you.

Also, the art of giving back, whether it’s planned or unexpected is amazing.

Inviting someone over who doesn’t have much family can lift the spirit of someone … usually, you find it’s when they need it the most. Trust yourself … if you feel the urge to reach out, then do it. All these things will help to find the spirit of the holidays within. When you feel the spirit within – it will surely show on the outside!

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THE GAME CHANGERS A New Brand of visionaries, innovators and leaders that changed how we look and Participate in the world.

Claiming Our Place in Troubled Times

By Robyn M Fritz MA MBA CHt

In these chaotic times, we are choosing how we define ourselves: as way-followers, who cling to outdated mindsets and institutions, or as wayshowers, who are creating a worldwide community that chooses strength in diversity.

We begin by first finding our

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“true self,” which helps us compassionately engage others.

Especially at the holidays.

Every generation has a defining moment, something they choose that says, “That is how they’ll remember us.” There were the extreme challenges, like the Great Depression and World War II, and the triumphs, like the Renaissance and the Space Age. As we define ourselves, what will we choose: what defeated us or what built us?

What Our Chaotic Times Mean In the last few years, community worldwide has been shattered by escalating violence compounded by a bewildering divisiveness that mars our daily lives. In our families and social circles, we’ve been shocked when the previously mild-mannered lash out: “If you criticize my president I’m walking out.”

Sadly, this theme reverberates worldwide: “They don’t believe what I believe, and I refuse to connect.”

What is going on?

Of course the age-old quandary, fear versus love: choosing between embracing lack and disharmony or embracing connection and living full out. Throughout history, that struggle has historically played out in divisiveness. We are human, it’s a given.

But this new divisiveness is signaling an epoch change, our defining moment. The fear-full cling to what they believe makes them worthy: an outdated patriarchal worldview and its religious and cultural institutions.

As these icons buckle, and world citizenship rises up, fear struggles for relevance, while those who are ready to grow into something new are mystified and unbalanced by the chaos.

What do we do? We create new leaders.

Choosing Who We Are and Who Leads Us How do we choose leadership?

Will we continue to defer to a nation-state or will we come home to ourselves?

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This is a worldwide choice pitting religion, race, politics, and borders—the things that divide us—against a common humanity. The struggle can lead to a larger choice, defining whether we stick to the old and remain increasingly isolated and bitter way-followers, or choose to be our own leaders treading uncertain roads to a new unity as way-showers.

The choice is simple and stark: Who are we? The answer is simpler yet: We are one. The problem that stymies us: How does “one” become our way of life?

That, too, is simple. We start by honoring what shamanic insight calls our “true self”— our eternal, individual soul that grows, learns and forms a complete whole, body and soul, strengths and weaknesses, viewpoints, needs, and desires.

We individually choose to be our own “sovereign being, our own sovereign nation,” which gives us the strength to be compassionate, aware, able to negotiate differences, and open to change.

The next step is unity: whether Omtimes.com

individual or nationwide, sovereignty demands consensus. We live in society because we’re hard-wired for it. The challenge is creating a community that supports and nurtures by honoring all, acknowledging diversity, and requiring thoughtful participation.

How We Create Community Here’s how we do that, starting with our homes, at our holiday gatherings, and expanding into our neighborhoods, cities, states, and countries.

We breathe. Deep, measured breaths help us find our true self, which calms and centers us, reminding us that life is imperfect and in flux, and that’s okay.

We engage. We calmly say, “Let’s talk, let’s learn how to create community,” because it’s okay to disagree, it means we are thinking. But successful engagement means to defer judgment, listen compassionately, ask questions, be open-minded. It means finding common ground by understanding what others

fear and believe—and why— then build consensus.

We evolve. Listening is hard right now, but that’s our growth opportunity. We stay balanced by grounding into ourselves and into all the elements—earth, air, fire, water, spirit. We gather in supportive communities; release what no longer serves, from relationships to thought patterns; and hold love to inspire others and invigorate ourselves. As we grieve for the suffering and celebrate gains, from fellowship to understanding, we embrace the power to create.

We choose. We must know ourselves: what we believe and why. We study history, plan for the future, and consider our differences—because that’s where consensus lies. Moving towards world citizenship is a rocky road, dissolving nation-states into a diverse community that loves, grows, disagrees, walks away, and comes back again.

Will we be the way-followers, who refuse change and wither in fear? Or will we be the way-

showers, honoring others as souls in bodies struggling to grow and serve, sometimes to triumph and sometimes to fail, always to rise again? Will we be the isolated? Or will we be the 22,000 in Las Vegas, the Londoners, the Barcelonans, the world citizens who carry on with strength, resilience, and determination?

Clearly, the majority has already chosen: we are way-showers.

We are many who rise, love and create a diverse community that chooses acceptance.

Because we are one. We can start with our holiday dinners. © 2017 Robyn M Fritz Robyn M Fritz MA MBA CHt is an intuitive and spiritual consultant and certified past life regression specialist with an international practice based in Seattle, Washington. An OM Times Expert and awardwinning author, teacher, and speaker, she hosts “The Practical Intuitive: Mind Body Spirit for the Real World” each Monday at 2 pm PST on OM Times Radio. Find her services at RobynFritz.com.

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Relationships The interconnectedness among all human beings and, consequently, the relationships among us are the focus of this section. The dynamics of the web of connections we make is one of the most prominent aspects of human existence: how we interlace with each other’s existence in a meaningful way.

What True Love Really Looks Like

By Marcia Naomi Berger

Everyone praises the value of love. This article challenges the popular culture’s emphasis on love as being loved or at least receiving love in reciprocation for the loved one gives. It explains that real love takes us beyond self-centeredness and motivates us to connect meaningfully with another. Loving is really more about relationship partners giving of themselves and making sacrifices for each other, to keep their relationship thriving.

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Romance novels, movies, and fairytales glorify love at first sight, which rarely leads to a fulfilling marriage because it is usually based on fantasy. Yes, there are exceptions, but Anna’s experience is more common.

It hadn’t occurred to Anna to find out before getting physically intimate what kind of relationship Josh was looking for, or to know what kind she wanted until her disappointment showed her what she didn’t want.

In Hebrew, “the word for love — Ahavah — includes the Aramaic word have, which means ‘Give!’

(And the initial letter alef makes it mean, ‘I will give.’) Loving . . . is not so much receiving, as giving of oneself, and making sacrifices for others.”

How Not to Fall Crazy in Love

Anna’s Story Anna, in her mid-20’s, met Josh on a dating site. She was so charmed that instead of sensibly limiting their first date to not more than a couple of hours, she agreed to a six-hour round trip drive to a scenic location.

They returned to her place exhausted around 1 a.m. She said he could share her bed but without sex. Their next couple of dates did include sex. Anna was in love — but with a fantasy.

He loved recreational sex, not her. Their “relationship” quickly evolved into his texting her when he felt like “hooking-up.” She was heartbroken.

Many people think it’s natural to fall in head-over-heels love. Why suppress what happens naturally?

Many marriage-minded women, like Anna, get involved before knowing what kind of relationship the man wants. They confuse sex with love. Hormones have a way of doing that for many women. Many continue to repeat their mistake in future relationships and become cynical about men and marriage because it never works out.

Before considering physical intimacy, a sensible woman learns what kind of relationship both she and the man want. If he says he hopes to marry, she takes her time to determine if they’re likely to be compatible in the long run and to see if she likes the real him—his values and interests; his strengths and weaknesses; and his endearing and annoying habits.

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Here’s What True Love Looks Like

life is, or should be, about.

Arlyn’s parents “were always there for each other,” she says.

“What I learned from my dad was to be kind to my mother. When she came downstairs dressed up, but late, to go out with him, he wasn’t critical of her for being late. He’d say, ‘Oh, Mollie, you look lovely.’ He always complimented her.

Instead, he said, two people meet, and there might be a glimmer of understanding, like a tiny flame.

And then, as these people decide to build a home together… and go through the everyday activities and daily tribulations of life, this little flame grows even brighter and develops into a much more significant flame until these two people . . . Become intertwined to such a point that neither of them can think of life without the other. He said, “It’s the small acts that you do on a daily basis that turn two people from a ‘you and I into us.’”

“Not that they never argued,” she adds. “Sometimes they’d snap at each other. Like when they came home from playing bridge. One might say to the other, ‘I can’t believe you played that card.’ But it was always a love story. They knew every relationship has ups and downs.”

The Lubavitcher Rebbe, Menachem Mendel Schneerson’s explanation of love is stated in Joseph Telushkin’s book, The Life, and Teachings of Menachem M. Schneerson, the Most Influential Rabbi in Modern History. The Rebbe said that what you read in novels is not necessarily what happens in real life. It’s not as if two people meet and there is a sudden, blinding storm of passion. That’s not what love or

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Marcia Naomi Berger, MSW, LCSW, author of bestseller Marriage Meetings for Lasting Love: 30 Minutes a Week to the Relationship You’ve Always Wanted, is a psychotherapist in private practice. A former executive director of a family service agency, she worked professionally in family and children’s services, alcoholism treatment, and psychiatry departments for the City and County of San Francisco. www. marriagemeetings.com

Coping with Holiday Expectations We expect things in life. We expect things to be as they were in our childhood, the way we were brought up. We expect things to be the way we want them to be,

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the way we feel things should be. We expect things to be the way we want them to be in our love life, our careers, our families, our vacations and our relationship with others.

“The greater you expect things to be, the harder it is to deal with things that do not go your way!”

Already, I can sense resistance!

Having no expectations is one of the greatest lessons we can learn. This is not an easy concept to wrap your mind around.

In my practice, I see this every day: The 30-year-old female who gives up other interests, activities, and friends, now that she is in this new relationship. She is expecting that each new relationship is “the one.” She feels incomplete without a relationship, and

she is expecting that he will change into the man she wants him to be.

The 75-year-old grandmother, who expects her children and grandchildren to all be with her on every single holiday.

The 23-year-old college grad who expects to have all the computer companies knocking at his door to employ him because he was at the top of his graduating class.

Are you ready to forget about what you think you want and learn more about the endless possibilities that are available to you?

1. Allow change to happen freely.

2. Let go of old ideas.

3. Embrace new ideas, no matter how different they are from yours.

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4. C onflicting thoughts are not a threat. They can be a window of opportunity.

5. G o into EVERY situation with an open mind.

6. F ollow a new idea or opportunity where IT leads you, NOT where you want it to go.

7. Take a new situation, one day at a time.

8. Be available mentally, emotionally, spiritually for an approach that may be different than yours.

9. F ind the positive in EVERY situation that is presented to you. Why was this situation brought to me?

10. Learn the lesson the

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Universe is tossing your way.

Progress is not possible unless people embrace new ideas, mind sets, skills and expectations to match the opportunities afforded by the introduction of something new to them!

By allowing yourself to be open to ANYTHING that is new to you and giving it a chance, you can find your life going in the direction of new adventures and endless possibilities!

No Expectations = Endless Possibilities Try it today!

Andrew Pacholyk MS. L.Ac http://www.peacefulmind.com Therapies for healing mind, body, spirit

Helicopter Parents Could Be To Blame For Our Kids’ Mental-Health Crisis Well-intentioned but deeply detrimental parenting is leaving our young people incapable of functioning.

By Marcia Sirota

There has been a glut of alarming articles coming out lately about the mental-health crisis facing young people today. The stats the authors are

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quoting show that these young people have little resilience and few abilities to cope with the ordinary stresses of life.

A Sept. 8, 2016, article by Simonia Chiose in the Globe and Mail lays out some of the shocking details. The 44,000 students who completed a questionnaire called the National College Health Assessment in 2016, “eight percent fewer students than in 2013 felt their health was very good or excellent,” and “the number of students saying they seriously considered suicide in the prior year was 13 percent, up 3.5 percent from 2013.”

An Oct.18, 2016 article by Paul Attfield in the Globe and Mail quotes Tayyab Rashid, a psychologist at the University of Toronto Scarborough, who says that “trends I’ve seen is more severe cases, more chronic cases, and more crises.”

In an article for CBC News dated Sept. 26, 2017, author Amanda Pfeffer writes that a 2016 study by the Ontario University and College Health

Association (OUCHA) shows terrifying results.

Pfeffer quotes Meg Houghton, the president of this association, who says, “I don’t want to be too hyperbolic, but the truth is, lives are at stake.”

This recent study demonstrates that “rates of anxiety, depression and suicidal thoughts, as well as suicide attempts, are up from [the] first survey in 2013.”

Houghton says, “we’ve got a major crisis on our hands,” and “many of us who oversee counseling services describe our day as using a finger to stop a flood and the demand for our services far outstrips our capacity to support students.”

In a May 2017 article for thestar.com, entitled “Demand for youth mental health services is exploding. How universities and business are scrambling to react,” the authors point out that not only colleges and universities are having to

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increase their mental health budgets, but “a growing number of major corporations that employ young people, including Starbucks and Manulife, have dramatically increased mental health benefits in response to growing demand.”

The article also cites a new study from the Canadian Institute for Health Information, which “reported emergency department visits by children and youth from 5 to 24 seeking mental health or substance abuse treatment rose 63 percent and hospitalizations jumped 67 percent between 2006 and 2016.”

What’s not mentioned in any of the above articles or studies is the underlying reason for the alarming increase of mental health problems in today’s young people. I suggest that it’s the epidemic of helicopter parenting that’s to blame.

While childhood abuse and neglect have been strongly correlated with adult rates of

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mental health and substanceuse disorders, it appears that middle- to upper-middle class children are experiencing more helicopter parenting.

In an interview in the LA Times with Julie Lythcott-Haims, former dean of freshmen at Stanford University, she too observed this mental health crisis “in usually middle to upper-middle-class families and beyond, with disposable time and money. Working-class, blue-collar, poor families — parents there don’t have the wherewithal to be cultivating their kids’ childhood. They’re worried about fundamental things like food and shelter.

[My colleagues] were not seeing this were at community colleges. Those students have a lot of self-reliance.”

Too many middles- to upper-middle-class parents these days are inadvertently undermining the mental health of their growing kids, and the results are reflected in the above statistics.

When parents mistake coddling and bubble-wrapping their children for giving them

love, they cause their kid’s unintended harm.

all levels have jumped on the bandwagon.

Kids need to learn how to think for themselves, solve their own problems, cope with stress and bounce back from adversity. The skills, habits, and attitudes that they’re taught in childhood are meant to equip them for a healthy and successful adult life.

The solution to this mental-health crisis is not simply to increase the number of services offered to young people today.

Society won’t be able to afford the costs of this crisis, both in the growing levels of care required for these young people and in the devastating degree of disability that will result from it.

Unfortunately, when parents are so anxious that they do too much for their children, even well into their 20s, these young people never develop the strength to cope with normal life.

From everything I’ve observed, it seems clear to me that the underlying cause of the current mental-health crisis is the type of well-intentioned but deeply detrimental parenting that is leaving our young people incapable of functioning in their post-secondary education and in the workplace.

Helicopter parenting has become so frighteningly common that now schools at

Any type of Band-Aid solution misses the point. As with any health crisis, we must focus squarely on prevention.

We must educate parents about the pitfalls of helicopter parenting and show them how important it is for them to step back and allow their children to develop the skills, attitudes, and habits necessary for their future well-being and success.

If we only address the problem on the surface level without looking at the root cause, the mental-health crisis we’re facing will only get worse, and that’s an outcome we simply can’t afford to let happen.

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Personal Growth & Development

We grow as individuals as we face challenges and overcome life’s obstacles. This section is dedicated to helping you chart your course.

The Gentle Rhythm of Harmlessness

by Linda Bloom

Reflecting on the word harmlessness, we can begin to discover what that word means to you. The guided visualization, inspired by Wayne Muller, is a powerful commitment to live a life of Omtimes.com

non-harm, which is enlivening to relationships. When we are challenged to make decisions about how to best proceed in our relationship, we can run our decision through the fine sieve of harmlessness and our relationship is likely to thrive as a result.

Once we imagine the depths that we can move to if we live a life without inner conflict, our motivation to practice harmlessness with others and ourselves increases. We want to find ways to be sure that we are living without violence toward ourselves or anyone else, especially to those with whom we are the closest.

Reflect on the following words as a guided visualization (inspired by Wayne Muller) and then form the essence of the meditation into your own words. First, consider the word harmlessness and see what that word means to you. Take a moment to assess whether you are ready to make this vow to relate to ourselves without condemnation of any

kind. As soon as we are ready to honor ourselves in this way, another vow is likely to follow to be kind, considerate and caring of those around us. We experience peace when we stop the pain of violent language that infects our minds, and that spills over to cause harm to others.

With each breath, feel the gentle rhythm of expansion and the contraction. The breath guides us into the depth of our heart. With each breath, we soften and open the space around the center of our chest. From this breath forward, I will do no harm to myself or to others, neither in my thoughts or my words nor my actions. I will refuse to use violence toward myself or anyone else.

We can gently become aware of any resistance we may meet in our body/mind to taking this vow. Meet any resistance to understanding.

Caress the resistance with the vow of non-harm. I will not judge, criticize, or in any

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way use language to destroy the beauty of my spirit or that of another. From this breath forward, I will not use any violence against others or myself even in the secret privacy of my own thoughts.

I will touch my fear, confusion, mistakes, and failures with gentleness, kindness, and compassion. I will not reject myself; I will strive to accept every single part of me. I will use no language that brings injury to myself or anyone else. I am the voice of your inner sweetheart; I am always with you; I am the part of you that is wise and loving. By cultivating the inner sweetheart, I learn to fully love myself and to consistently allow my love to radiate to those around me.

Then gently allow your eyes to open.

We can welcome these words offered in this vow of nonharm, and view them as a

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starter kit. We can go on to make this affirmation our own.

Our own words will be much more effective than someone else’s. We can repeat our version many times, whenever we need to be reminded that we are wonderful as we are.

Our words remind us of how much love we have to give to others. We all lapse and forget, and break our vows. We don’t have to blame ourselves for imperfection. We can be gentle with ourselves as we learn to love, to take the vow again.

When we are challenged to make decisions about how to best proceed in our relationship, we can run our decision through the fine sieve of harmlessness. That process will serve us every time. Sometimes the choices are small ones, that won’t have big consequences, but there are others that may have huge consequences.

Examples that give us pause are disclosing our own previous or current

wrongdoing or dissatisfaction about some aspect of our relationship.

Although it is generally a good policy to have no secrets or lies in a relationship, there are exceptions to the rule. Honesty, transparency, responsibility, and respect are foundational in a strong partnership. There is a place for concealment when the preservation of the relationship for the long term is at stake. Concealment can be a demonstration of our respect for our partner and may be the best of our choices.

The overall level of harm may be greater if we disclose. The only way that this policy works is if we each are ruthlessly honest with ourselves as we make our decision. To conceal must never be used as an easy out to not deal with what the truth will provoke.

There are times when we are especially challenged to reflect carefully on the message that we need to deliver to our

partner. If we take the time to form what we are feeling and needing in our relationship, including non-harm in our planning, we are likely to find ways to speak our truth without blame and judgment.

If we take on the practice of harmlessness and practice diligently, we will become adept in that art, and our relationship is likely to thrive as a result.

Linda Bloom L.C.S.W. has served as psychotherapist and seminar leader practicing relationship counseling almost forty years. Check out her OMTimes Bio. If you like what you read, click here to sign up Bloomwork’s monthly inspirational newsletter and receive our free e-book: Going For the Gold: Tools, practice, and wisdom for creating exemplary relationships.

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The Power to Inspire

By Marc Lainhart

What is that inspires us?

For most ordinary people having a human experience is the stories and knowledge of those who have become before us, who have done extraordinary things, Those

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who had had a hand in changing the world, through their abilities, passion, choices, willingness, creative innovation, and ideas. Those with a selfless heart to be authentic, inspiring, and just plain different!

People such as Abraham Lincoln, Mozart, Princess Diana, Mother Teresa, Winston Churchill, Gandhi, Jesus Christ, Thomas Jefferson, Muhammad, Rosa Parks, Nikola Tesla, Albert Einstein, Leonardo Da Vinci, Krishna, Galileo, Constantine, Nelson Mandela, Marcus Aurelius, Cicero, Joan of Arc, Dalai Lama, Bill Gates, Aristotle, William Shakespeare, Steve Jobs, Confucius, Mohammed Ali, and Martin Luther King Jr. among many others are included on my personal very long list of inspiring people.

But all of those inspiring people listed above were “ordinary” people of their time who decided that they would make a difference

in the world and share their gifts despite nearly impossible odds, tremendous opposition, personal sacrifice, suffering, loss, judgment, and opinions.

Inspiring people are true leaders who believe in themselves, on their cause, their passions, and plans and were willing to live an authentic life in service to others, society, our planet; and many made a real change in the human condition. There are many people not listed that make a difference every single day and do things that inspire all of us! Those are the people we want to be around who inspire us to be better, bigger than ourselves, kinder, more caring compassionate and make a difference in the world one day at a time.

The beautiful and amazing thing about inspiration is the “ordinary” part of the human journey becomes “extraordinary.”

Through the powers of freewill, determination, passion,

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purpose, positivity, desire, focus, mindfulness, education, knowledge, wisdom and most importantly to the power of choice among the many roads of life. What inspires us? Who inspires us? What tires us?

Who tires us? The choice is always ours to make.

All humans during their life will be presented with choices; to face decisions, you don’t need to feel necessarily alone.

We can always look into history, through the inspiring stories of people: our friends, family, mentors, guides; or books to help us with our many decisions, or to simply see a clearer path up the mountain to the summit.

But all of those are just opinions based on another’s perspective on life.

The true “guidance system” and power to enact a change will always come from within through the internal

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whispers of the heart and soul and the “choice” to either listen and follow or ignore and walk away. What inspires us?

What tires us?

The inspiring people who change lives whether, from the past, present, and those still yet to come in the future, are not generally born into greatness. They usually don’t become instant inspiring leaders of change. But they all had made a choice at some point in life that they will no longer be afraid to be who they are, how the world sees them, and start to live life with determination, heart, purpose, passion or what some would call “living an authentic life.”

No matter what we feel, what we have achieved, where we come from, or where we currently are on our own journey, all of us can inspire, make a change and give back leaving a legacy that will live on a lot longer than we will. Inspiring

others, helping others,” paying it forward,” or giving back is some of the most amazing and powerful experiences we can have as humans.

We never know who we are going to impact the power of giving back and through inspiration, but if all of us “give it a go.” Not for the sake of being remembered by history, or being famous, but we because we may leave behind not only a blueprint for making real change in the world but also a ripple effect that can be felt for generations yet to come.

We have the potential and the power of choice to be a great inspiration to ourselves and those around us on a daily basis. Should we ask ourselves daily, what inspires us, who inspires us, what tires us?

When we know and see the difference the path up that mountain of life to the summit

becomes a much easier and smoother path to follow, while inspiring-empowering yourself and those around you.

“Start by doing what’s necessary; then do what’s possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible.”

-Francis of Assisi Marc Lainhart is an international and tested Spiritual Medium. Marc is also a Radio Show Host on OMTimes Radio, Hiking Guide, Certified Diver, Metaphysical Teacher, Holistic Healer, Inspirational Thought Leader, Writer, and offers courses on OMTimes Experts. He uses his gifts to guide, transform, and inspire others in connecting to self, spirit, and the world around us! For more “Spiritual prospecting,” visit him at his website. Marc is the co-host of Inspired Living, Wednesdays at 3:00 PM ET on OMTimes Internet Radio.

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Getting into The ‘Holiday Spirit’ 365 Days A Year

By Marcia Sirota, MD. Even though the holidays are upon us, I’ve noticed that lately, many people in Toronto have been more rude, selfish and inconsiderate than usual.

Driving in my car, I’m often cut

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off. People speed through red lights and try to squeeze into parallel-moving traffic, risking accidents as they muscle their way in.

The other day, a small truck in front of me stopped at an intersection and stayed stopped, refusing to allow the growing line-up of cars to move forward. When somebody finally honked, the driver gesticulated angrily, even though he was the one holding up the traffic.

On the subway, I’ve noticed more pushing and shoving.

Men spread their legs across two seats even when someone else is standing nearby, loaded down with bags. On the streets, pedestrians race by one-other not looking where they’re going. They bash into someone and then hurry off angrily, blaming the other person for getting in their way.

I hear the same stories from my friends and family members in the U.S. and

Europe, and the only reason I can see for this global increase in rude, selfish, inconsiderate behavior is a growing sense of alienation, here in Toronto and around the world.

I’ve never thought that it was enough to simply encourage people to be more loving during the holidays.

There seem to be more and people who carry on as though they don’t really care about anyone else. There’s an epidemic of loneliness and isolation out there, and this growing sense of disconnection makes people care even less about others.

It’s as though we’ve forgotten -- or perhaps never realized -how deeply connected we all truly are.

We need to understand that our behavior is contagious.

The more rude, selfish and inconsiderate people are, the more those on the receiving end of the rudeness are inclined to be equally rude and

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self-centered. On the other hand, the more caring and thoughtful people are, the more those around them are inspired to be kind.

would make them happy, but the fact is, it won’t. The more selfish, rude and inconsiderate we are, the unhappier we feel, and the more lonely.

This time of year, we’re told to be more loving. We’re encouraged to get into the “holiday spirit.” We’re supposed to be more giving, more understanding. But what if we don’t feel particularly connected to other people? It’s hard to be loving when you don’t feel much love.

Selfishness and rudeness come from feeling disconnected, and they make us feel that much more alienated and miserable. All these rude, selfish people have been playing a no-win game.

I’ve never thought that it was enough to simply encourage people to be more loving during the holidays. I’ve always thought that people should be reminded to be kind and considerate, all year round. We ought to rename the “holiday spirit” the “human spirit,” and it should be something we aspire to, every single day of the year.

The rude, inconsiderate people I mentioned above were all just doing the best they could.

I’m sure they believed that this

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Fortunately, it’s easy to break the vicious circle of selfishness and misery. All we have to do is connect more to others. Feeling connected causes, us to be more kind to others, and kindness creates a positive spiral.

Every act of kindness and generosity makes us happier and more connected.

The more kind we are, the happier we’ll be, and the happier we are, the more kind we’ll be. Other people will be happier when we’re kind to them, and they’ll be more kind to us and to others, in turn.

Instead of getting into the “holiday spirit,” let’s promote the human spirit and encourage everyone to try and connect with each other a little bit more, every day.

Let’s talk to our neighbors, chat with the clerk at the store, say “good morning” to our bus driver.

Let’s try to be courteous on the road or on the subway. Let’s be polite to strangers. Let’s try to smile more since smiling at people will brighten their day and ours.

Let’s try to share more with others. Every act of kindness and generosity makes us happier and more connected.

Sharing and caring are good for our emotional, spiritual and physical well-being.

Instead of having this spirit of kindness, consideration, and generosity be relegated to a few short weeks in the year, let’s choose it as our driving force the whole year through.

Kindness and caring are the cure for loneliness, alienation,

and misery. Feeling connected to other people is the true source of happiness.

We’re all unique individuals, but we’re also alike. We all want to be loved, to belong, to have a life of meaning.

No matter what our differences are, no matter our race, religion, sexual orientation or nationality, we’re all just people who, given a chance, would much rather love and be loved than hate and be hated.

Happy holidays to everyone.

Let’s go forward into 2018 spreading the message of connection, kindness, goodwill, and love.

Sign up here for my free monthly wellness newsletter.

January 2018 is all about New Year’s resolutions you can really keep.

Listen here to my podcast.

Therapist Megan Bruneau talks about how women’s friendliness is often misinterpreted as flirtation.

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MAGAZINE

December B 2017 Contributors Writers Andrew Pacholyk, MS, L.Ac. Carl Greer, PhD, PsyD Jennie Lee John Holland Liane Buck Linda Bloom Marc Lainhart Marcia Naomi Berger Marcia Sirota, MD. Robyn M Fritz Victor Fuhrman Will Tuttle

82 42 60 46, 64 56 94 100 78 86, 106 68 24 52

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